#i should tag them too for inclusiveness

[soft--dragon]

Bedtime Stories

This is a branching, alternate timeline where Crosshair went back with the others at the end of Season 1 after Kamino falls. He's settled back in well enough, he's having to adjust to a child running around on the Marauder with them now

This is all written to be PLATONIC. Shipping any of these characters together is disgusting as they're siblings, please don't interact if you're a shipper >:(

Word Count: 4,115

Warnings: None

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don���t like that then don’t read :)

Crosshair was starting to develop a distaste for nine o’clock at night. It was slowly becoming more and more of a headache and for good reason. Nine o’clock; Omega’s bedtime. 

He was sitting in the cockpit, hoping to escape any shenanigans the small clone played to try and stay up later. Hunter had put the curfew in place after Omega had almost been shot on a job - her reflexes dampened by exhaustion - and practically gave the sergeant a heart attack in the process. So, he’d put the new rule in place, and he planned to stick to it. Omega hadn't been very accepting of the new rule, trying to find more creative ways to avoid her room and the bed in it. 

Usually, it was pretty easy to put her to bed despite her excuses, one of them able to herd her to the gunner mount at some point during the evening. She managed to really confuse them once, they’d spent fifteen minutes trying to find her, only to discover her in the air vents. She was a crafty little womp rat, Crosshair would give her that. 

Crosshair’s musings were interrupted abruptly as the kid skidded into the cockpit and hit the button behind her to close the door. She swung around and almost yelped in alarm at the sight of Crosshair sitting there. 

“Evening,” Crosshair greeted dryly, looking back to his book to try and make it clear he was not dealing with this. 

“Hi Cross,” Omega grinned nervously. “Could you do me a favour?” 

“No.”

“But you don’t even know what it is-”

“I am not telling Hunter to let you stay up. You’re a child. Go to bed.”

Omega put her hands on her hips and puffed out her cheeks indignantly. “I’m older than you. Why don’t you go to bed?” 

Crosshair had to bite his tongue not to smirk at the kid’s snarkiness. She was getting bolder with her sass, something that Tech, Echo and himself had been influencing shamelessly, but he’d rather be shot than say he was proud. Instead, he scowled deeper at her comment to save face and swivelled in his chair to face the doorway. 

“Hunter! She’s in here!” He called snidely, smirking at the look of betrayal on Omega’s face. 

“Crosshair!” she exclaimed. 

Crosshair flipped the page of his book. “Don’t sass me then, kid.” 

The door slid open, freezing Omega in place. Tech and Hunter stood in the threshold, the latter’s arms crossed and brow firmly set. “Omega, bed.” Hunter stated. 

“But-”

Hunter held up a hand before she could protest, his tone leaving no room for argument as he spoke. “I’ve set the curfew, you need to follow it. I’m not having a repeat of last time.”

Tech cleared his throat as he slipped by Hunter to enter the cockpit. “Might I add, sleep deficiency causes more than just a lower reflex rate, Omega. It also risks the chance of heart disease, kidney disease, high blood pressure, stroke and depression.” 

“Thank you, Tech,” Hunter sighed, rubbing a hand over his face tiredly.

“Of course.” Tech walked to the control panel and crouched beside it, taking out his tools to repair the wiring. “Someone has to catalogue the side effects of bad habits, considering how much you are all intent on picking up habits that damage your bodies, and in turn damage our efficiency on jobs. 

"For instance, Hunter’s inability to speak about his migraines, Echo’s lack of sleep from nightmares, Wrecker’s desire to hide injuries not to worry us, and Crosshair-”

“Yeah yeah, you badgered me so much about smoking that I had to quit just to shut you up.” Crosshair hissed, lifting his book higher to his face just to block out the other occupants of the room. He came in here for an escape from his family at night, not to be stuck in the middle of this. 

Hunter then cleared his throat, giving Omega a pointed look. Omega, who had been slowly sneaking towards the door to dart away while Tech was talking, whined slightly. “Come on, Hunter, ten more minutes-” 

“You said ‘ten more minutes’ fifteen minutes ago,” the sergeant countered - Tech muttering; “Technically, it has been sixteen minutes now.” from the control panel - and making Hunter wave a hand in his direction in agreement. “There, you see? Now come on, you’re gonna be exhausted tomorrow if you don’t get some rest.”

The blonde clone crossed her arms stubbornly. “I’ll be fine.”

Hunter’s frown deepened, then his gaze slid over to the other occupant of the room who looked completely done with the pair of them. He smirked, and crossed his arms too. “If you don’t go now, I’ll get Crosshair to put you to bed.”

Crosshair, who was sitting quietly on his chair, scowled and hid his face further behind the book. He did not ask to be dragged into this, thank you very much.

Obviously catching the sniper’s resistance to being pulled into the fray, Omega’s grin widened and she looked up at Hunter with a shit-eating grin. “He won’t do it.” She claimed boldly. 

Big mistake. 

“I will for some damn peace and quiet.” 

Omega yelped as she was suddenly lifted into the air and tossed ungraciously over a shoulder. She gripped onto the civilian shirt, eyes wide as she registered how far off the ground she was. It wasn’t as high as when she was picked up by Wrecker, but it was still jarring. Then they were moving, and she was passing by Hunter who was looking at her far too smugly. 

“Told you.” He grinned. 

Omega glared then raised a finger up at him.

Tech looked up from his data pad at Hunter’s loud noise of indignation and gave a small hum. “Well, I certainly recognize that hand signal.”

Hunter looked close to a panic attack as he called out after his brother. “Crosshair! What have you been teaching her?!”

“Sorry, can’t hear you, putting a child to bed.” Crosshair said over his shoulder and let the cockpit doors slide close behind him. He then hefted Omega off his shoulder to settle her on his hip, giving her a flat look. “I thought we agreed not to show Hunter what I’ve taught you.”

Omega giggled, gripping onto him firmly though she knew she wouldn’t be dropped. “Well I guess I just didn’t listen.”

Crosshair rolled his eyes, though there was a slight amused gleam to them. “Wouldn’t be the first time.”

They passed by the bunks where Wrecker and Echo were sleeping, the demolition expert’s snores rumbling through the room. How it didn’t wake Echo was a mystery, Crosshair admired the man’s ability to somehow block out Wrecker’s noise without earplugs. Keeping Omega balanced on his hip, he hefted himself up the gunner mount ladder and dropped Omega unceremoniously on the blankets and pillows clustered on the floor like a nest. 

“There. Bed. Sleep.” He grumbled, moving to get back down the ladder.

“Crosshair wait!” 

Crosshair paused on the rails, looking at her flatly. “What?” He asked, “if you’re expecting me to tuck you in then you’re gravely mistaken.”

Omega shook her head, eyes bright as she asked, “Can you tell me a story?” Well then. That was an unusual request. Deciding to humour her, Crosshair leant against the ladder with a raised brow. “...What kind of story?”

“Anything you want.”

“Alright. Once upon a time there was a galaxy, it exploded, the end.”

The kid groaned, tipping her head back and rolling her eyes so hard Crosshair was surprised they didn’t roll right out of her head. “I meant a good story.”

“That was a good story.”

“No it wasn’t.”

Crosshair huffed, slipping his toothpick from his teeth. “Tough crowd.”

Omega sat forward in her blankets more, a hard set in her brow and… oh gods, she was pouting wasn’t she? Damnit. Wrecker had obviously taught her that one to manipulate Hunter. “C’mon, surely you’ve got some good stories? 

“I lived on the battlefield and survived a war. Not many good stories from that.”

Not deterred slightly, Omega persisted. “What about outside of the battles? When you were with the others? There has to be some good moments, right?”

Crosshair sighed heavily. Unless he wanted an earful from Hunter about Omega not being asleep, he was gonna have to indulge this little devil. She was stubborn, he’d give her that. “...I suppose there was the one time we visited a snow planet and Wrecker got his tongue stuck on Echo’s scomp link.”

Omega’s mouth dropped open in an excited grin. “He what?!”

“Did no one tell you this one?”

She threw up her hands in exasperation. “No. They barely tell me any embarrassing stories about themselves.”

Crosshair’s smile became downright wicked. “Oh? Is that so?” He hefted himself up onto the gunner mount floor, pressing his back to the wall and hiking a boot up on the rungs. “Well then, what a terrible thing it is for them to have a brother who remembers many embarrassing moments.”

Omega’s eyes were sparkling with mischief. The blankets fell around her lap as she sat up, an eager gleam to her brown eyes. “Tell me all of them!”

Crosshair, being the sweet and caring person that he is, placed a hand on her face and pushed her back down into the cushions. “Lie down and listen, womp rat,” he scoffed. “Or I’ll throw you out the airlock.”

Omega grinned, peeking through his fingers as she shoved off his palm. “No you won’t.”

“Really want to test that theory?” He asked, reaching out a hand only for her to it smack away with a bright giggle. 

“No! I’m meant to be going to sleep!”

“Shocking how you only use that excuse when it benefits you.”

“I picked it up from you.”

Somehow, dumbly, that comment made Crosshair’s chest swell with pride. The knowledge that he’d passed down some of his skill sets down to this little sponge of a clone was a weirdly good feeling. 

He settled back against the wall, crossing his arms and swivelling the toothpick in his mouth. “So, are you going to cooperate and let me tell my story?”

Omega grinned and snuggled down into the blankets, assured that the tall clone wasn’t going to throw her out the airlock of the Havoc Marauder. “Ready!” She chirped, cuddling Lula to her chest.

She was the picture of childish innocence. It made something protective rear up in Crosshair’s heart. Stupid feelings. Damn kid making him go soft. “Alright,” Crosshair sighed, and then somewhat awkwardly, he began to retell the visit to the planet.

His words were choppy to start with, not used to telling stories of their life outside of the war, especially not to a child. He’d given mission reports - though not willingly - and those were easier, they were facts of an operation. This was more like crafting a book in his head and telling it to someone that was very easy to influence. Crosshair wisely left out the bits and pieces that Omega might find concerning, and for the record, the avalanche was entirely Wrecker’s fault, not his. 

As the story went on, Crosshair found the words leaving him easily. His raspy voice was edged with mirth as he described the life or death snowball fight and attempts of skating on the frozen lake. It caused an assortment of ridiculous pictures - courtesy of Tech - of their very shaky forms on the slick surface. 

“Like new-born Tauntauns' they were,” Crosshair smirked. “Staggering around and falling over themselves constantly. I’ll have to ask Tech where he put the holos, there are some good ones of Hunter flat on his face”

“Are there any of you?” Omega asked with a grin. 

“Have you ever seen me slip and fall? I was fine.” Crosshair scoffed, looking half offended she’d even suggested such a thing. “I’m used to getting around sloped terrain by sliding down it, the ice was no different.” 

Omega giggled softly, hugging Lula closer to her chest and looking over the toy with her big brown eyes. “Do you think we could visit a snow planet sometime? I’ve never had the chance to really explore one before. We went to one a while back, but I didn’t get to look around properly, we were too busy being attacked by ice dragons.”

Crosshair blinked down at her. It was sometimes easy to forget that Omega had spent most of her life beneath the oceans of Kamino, stuck in a lab with Nala Se with no opportunity to explore the galaxy. 

“...I’m sure Hunter could be persuaded," he found himself saying. "And if he isn’t-”

“Then we ask Echo,” Omega finished with a knowing smirk. 

Crosshair hummed in agreement, turning his head to look out of the window of the gunner's mount, the stars blinking back at him softly. He took in a breath, not minding the staleness of the recycled air. It was peaceful and homely on the ship, that's all that mattered to him. It was far better than the suffocatingly cold and sterile air of the Empire’s ships. Crosshair repressed a shudder.

It was after staring at the stars for a moment too long that he realised it was too peaceful. He flicked his eyes to the kid, expecting to see her finally asleep in the nest of blankets, but instead, she was watching him closely. 

He narrowed his gaze. “What?” he snipped, though it was a far cry from his usual harsh snap. 

He always tried to soften his tone while speaking to Omega, not wanting to give her the wrong idea of him being annoyed with her. He just sounded grumpy most of the time, but thankfully she seemed to know his true emotions were hidden under the grouch.

Omega smiled in response to his question. “I’m just happy you’re here,” she answered genuinely. “Even if I didn’t know you all too well when we first met, something was missing without you on the squad.”

Crosshair stubbornly looked out the window again, refusing to acknowledge the warmth flickering in his chest. “How touching,” he grumbled. 

A tiny foot hit his knee, diverting his attention back to Omega. She was frowning slightly, but there was a twinkle in her eye. "Did you just kick me?" He asked dubiously. 

Omega ignored his accusation. “Would it kill you to be sentimental just once?”

“Yes. I would die immediately,” Crosshair replied dryly. 

“No you wouldn’t.”

“I’m not about to risk death just to appease your need for emotional reassurance.”

“Come on,” Omega sat up, Lula falling to her side. “It’s not that hard-”

“No, lay back down and sleep,” Crosshair leaned over to push her head back against the pillows. An annoyed noise weaselled out from Omega, muffled slightly by his palm. 

“Not until you say something nice!” Omega argued, her own hands came up to try and shove at Crosshair’s wrist.

Crosshair grumbled, and with his spare hand, he dragged his fingers over his face and scowled. “Aren’t you ever tired?”

“Nope.” Omega popped the ‘p’ for good measure, grinning at her brother smugly. “Now say something nice or I’ll never sleep!”

It was like making a deal with Satan.

“You’re a terrible child.”

Omega rolled her eyes. “You’re really bad at this.”

“Niceties aren’t my profession.”

“Clearly.”

Crosshair glowered at the kid. After a moment he inquired, "Are you always this infuriating?"

"We share the same DNA, I had to get some traits from you." 

Crosshair gave Omega precisely seven seconds to take back that statement. When no such words were spoken, he glared darkly. 

"Alright you little shit," he hissed, paying no mind to the small voice in his mind that sounded a lot like Wrecker telling him he shouldn’t be cursing around a child. "It's about time someone taught you to respect your elders." 

"I'm older than yo-"

"Nope, you're not allowed to use that argument anymore." Crosshair promptly scooped up Omega, blankets and all, and dumped her on his lap. Ensnared by the tangles of fabric, Omega laughed and struggled against the arm cage Crosshair had put her in. 

"Cross!" 

“Can’t hear you kid, you’re pretty muffled.” Giving into the more playful side of himself, Crosshair’s fingers delved into the blanket to prod around Omega’s torso, hearing her squeak and giggle wildly at the ticklish sparks of electricity jolting through her. He smirked at her reactions and continued with his snarky teasing. “Maybe if you didn’t have a blanket over your head I could hear you better. Oh well, maybe next time.”

Omega suddenly squealed when Crosshair’s fingers pinched up her ribs, her wiggling increasing as bubbly laughter spilled from under the blanket. “Nohoho! Crohohosshahair!”

He scoffed loudly. “Really Omega, didn’t I just say I couldn’t hear you very well? Maybe we should get Tech to check your ears.” Crosshair was fighting for his life not to break out a grin, but he couldn’t contain the mischievous note in his tone as he messed with the kid. 

Omega smacked him in the chest with a swaddled hand and hiccupped in laughter. “Yohou suhuck!” In a bid for freedom, Omega twisted in her blanket cocoon and pushed her own fingers into Crosshair’s stomach through the thick material. 

The strangled noise that burst from the sniper was high pitched and wildly out of character. He half curled up, arms tightening against himself in reflex. Omega gasped like she'd discovered the answer for Clone Rights. 

"You're ticklish!" 

Immediately, a series of rapid fire pokes sent shock waves through Crosshair's sides and stomach, causing another badly restrained yelp to pull free, followed by breathy titters that kept tumbling free despite the man's best efforts to keep them down. 

"Awww! You can laugh, Cross!" Omega's excited cooing made an embarrassed warmth flush in the sniper's ears. This wasn't the plan. How the hell did it go this awry? 

"S-Shut up-" he spluttered. He could've pushed her away easily of course, but with how close they were to the gunner mount edge, he didn't want to risk the nightmare scenario playing out in his head of Omega tumbling from the height and hurting herself. Though, with how much he was embarrassing himself with these dignity destroying snickers, he might have to let the child drop. 

"I've never heard you laugh like this." Omega carried on, never shy of speaking her mind regardless of how embarrassed it made her brothers. "It's really nice actually, you should do it more often." 

What the fuck. 

Crosshair would deny to his goddamn grave that Omega's genuine words were having any effect on his cold, dead heart. He was a soldier bred for battle, why was he getting overwhelmed by a kid complimenting his laugh? He couldn't even think of a proper reply with how much his brain had short circuited. 

"Yohou- goddahahamn-" 

Omega giggled at his sputtering attempts. "Huh, you're just like Hunter when he laughs too much to talk," she commented with a grin. 

Crosshair opened his mouth to argue against that, but Omega had begun prodding up and down his sides and getting lower the longer she did so and only making Crosshair's titters increase. When she got too close to his overly sensitive hip bones, Crosshair decided enough was enough. Both of his hands scratched and skittered all around Omega's shoulder blades and back upper ribs - a soft spot for Crosshair himself. 

Omega instantly ripped her hands away from him and burst into a fit of unrestrained squeaks, torn between pressing against Crosshair to evade the tickling or attempting to attack him again. 

"That was a bad move, kid," Crosshair grumbled, his soft laughter faded but his smile had started to finally crack out through his mask. "Don't start a fight you can't finish."

Omega tried to reach out to tickle him again, but Crosshair swiftly intercepted the move and poked rapidly under her arm, smirking at the surprised squeal that leapt from the blonde clone. She really needed to learn that he was the champion of tickle fights - his losses were few and far between, and there was little chance he was losing to her. He gave a grazing swipe at her neck with his fingernails just cause he could, and because it made her squeal endearingly. Huh, just like Tech. He pocketed that thought for a later time. 

“Ahem.” 

The sudden sound of someone clearing their throat made the two freeze. Turning around in sync, the pair were greeted by the sight of Echo standing close to the gunner mount, arms crossed and blearily glaring at them.

“Crosshair, Omega is meant to be asleep.” His voice was deeper than normal having just woken up, and it only made his stern tone more intimidating. 

Omega pressed herself back into Crosshair, as if to hide behind him, with a meek, guilty grin. “Sohorry Echo,” she apologised, giggles lingering in her speech. “we didn’t mehean to wake you.”

Echo’s stern expression wavered a tad at her giggly state, something Crosshair internally rolled his eyes at. Did this kid seriously have everyone wrapped around her finger? Unbelievable. He’d have to ask her to use that so they could win every argument against their brothers. Omega was going to flourish under his teachings. 

“Yeah, what she said. Go back to bed, Echo,” Crosshair waved off his brother. “I’ll put her to sleep.”

“To bed. You’re going to put her to bed.” Echo emphasised. “Don’t kill our sister.”

Crosshair planted a hand on Omega’s face and ignoring her indigent squark, he pushed her down on the bed roll. Gently of course, he wasn’t a total dick. “Yeah yeah, I got it, now go. Your night watch shift is in two hours.” 

Echo hummed and gave a small salute, turning back to the bunks with a tired slouch to his posture. “Night you two.”

“Goodnight Echo.”

“Night.”

When Crosshair heard Echo’s bunk creak and settle once more, he turned back to Omega who was rubbing at her eyes. “Finally tired, yet?” He inquired. 

“No.” Omega replied, ever the stubborn one, immediately dropping her fist. She clearly was exhausted, her rapid blinking and wavering form displayed that, but she was insistent on resisting. 

Crosshair pinched the skin between his eyes, mentally reminding himself it would be wrong to stun a child. “If I tell you one more story, you go to sleep immediately afterwards. Deal?”

Omega studied him with pursed lips as she thought over the offer. Then she smiled, and bundled up her blankets in her arms. “Deal.”

Crosshair didn’t get a moment to protest when she stood up and threw herself down in his lap, curling into his chest and snuggling close. All air left the man as he openly gaped, watching Omega cuddle into his scrawny form and nudge her head into his collarbone. “Ready,” she mumbled, eyes slipping closed and completely missing Crosshair’s rare moment of speechless floundering. 

It took approximately ten seconds for Crosshair to scrape up some semblance of his usual demeanour and pretend that this wasn’t melting his stone cold heart into a fond puddle. Eugh, this kid was going to be the death of him one day. The thought didn’t bother him as much as he assumed it would. 

Wrapping a cautiously gentle arm around the small bundle curled into his chest, Crosshair turned his attention back to the stars and began softly telling another story. Omega tried to stay awake by murmuring questions about the planet, but they became nonsensical and slurred the more she tried to speak. Crosshair wasn’t even halfway through his retelling when Omega had slumped into him fully and her breathing had evened out. Crosshair trailed off, and after a moment of consideration, wrapped both arms around her, securing her against him. He smiled softly at the tiny snores emitting from the girl. She really was Hunter’s kid, they had matching snore tones and everything.

Realistically, he should deposit her back onto her bedroll and go to his own bunk, but he couldn’t bring himself to put down the precious cargo in his arms. Instead, he shuffled down the wall, did a quick prayer for his neck in the morning, and dropped his head onto her mop of golden hair - letting his own eyes slide closed. 

The soft glow of the fairylights and steady weight of Omega against him soothed Crosshair into a deep sleep, his dreams circling around the memory of a frozen lake. He was with his brothers on the ice, but this time, Omega was with them, her laughter intertwining with theirs and sounding out across the cold planet. 

Unbeknownst to the sniper, he smiled in his sleep.

[foulfeast]

Ohhhh i now remember why i got shy about talking abt ocs

24/7 fear that someone will tell me my ideas are cliche/stupid/bad in some other and it will hurt more bc these are my own creations and not just fun and play

[worfianism]

Listen whoever decided to pair up La'an and an alternate version of Jim Kirk in a romcom style classic time travel episode actually galaxy brained. Freaking great episode.

[ur-favoriterecord]

"Futaba and Haru should have been angrier about Akechi-" Y'all couldn't even handle Ken

[pierregazly]

but mama, i love him ꨄ oscar piastri smau

oscar piastri x leclerc!reader

the one where oscar's girlfriend has been soft launching their relationship for ages. and he's okay with it, especially if it means he can keep hiding in plain sight from her three overprotective brothers.

ynleclerc

tagged charles_leclerc

liked by charles_leclerc, arthur_leclerc, oscarpiastri, and others

ynleclerc omg omg omg... charles leclerc signed my hat? should i add it to the shrine? give them something to sacrifice?

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username any non-f1 fan would automatically assume ynleclerc is a crazy fan page for charles

username or a charles leclerc hate page... all she does it make fun of her brothers here

username she's offering her signed hat for the tifosi to sacrifice for a CL16 win??? that seems like pure love all around

arthur_leclerc i also signed your hat?

ynleclerc i also do not care? will a hat signed by you get me millions if i sell it for sacrificial purposes?

charles_leclerc what's next? my personal belongings?

ynleclerc is that an offer? if so, oui. i will take what i think will make me the most money next time i'm there, merci <3

scuderiaferrari if it gets us a 1-2 finish, sacrifice everything ynleclerc... please 🙏

username being a Ferrari fan is so satisfying when you remember ynleclerc is an automatic inclusion in everything and anything charles does

username the things i would do to have her as a McLaren fan... she's too beautiful for Ferrari 😭

oscarpiastri a piastri hat will get you good money in straya btw

username oscar??

oscarpiastri

liked by logansargeant, landonorris, mclaren, and others

oscarpiastri 'stop hitting me with the ball on purpose you jerk' was said more times than it should've been, by someone who really just sucks at tennis. had an awesome week back home, time to get back to it 💪

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logansargeant no wonder you're so worried about getting run over

username the coordinating outfits?? i'm gonna scream, who is she!!!

username what does logan know, tell us your secrets girl logansargeant

username oscar is gonna soft launch this relationship until the end of time. show us her face, you coward!!

ynleclerc did you pay her for all the bruises that tennis ball left?? poor girl

oscarpiastri it's not my fault she's a terrible tennis player, we all know i've offered to pay for a trainer

landonorris so this is why you couldn't come to bali with me 🤨

username lando really said i'm the third wheel??

username to be fair i'd probably pick oscar's girlfriend over lando for a week away too

username girly you don't even know who she is!!! she could be the devil

username i wanna be included in oscar's post week home photo dump :(

ynleclerc has posted a story

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, pascale.leclerc.355, and others

replies

oscarpiastri you can call me pookie whenever you want if you're gonna post things like this

ynleclerc i'd call you pookie with or without your permission, mon amour

charles_leclerc who is this

charles_leclerc why won't you tell us who you're dating

charles_leclerc we won't hurt him

charles_leclerc answer my texts

ynleclerc

liked by oscarpiastri, pascale.leclerc.355, arthur_leclerc, and others

ynleclerc get you a man who can do both, luckiest woman in the world whenever you're around. mon amour 🤍

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username people involved in formula 1 and their obsession with soft launching everything NEEDS to be studied

username at least she posts her boyfriend and he isn't just a small figure in the background of every post (charles this is a direct hate comment)

arthur_leclerc this would have been very lovely if it weren't for the last photo

liked by charles_leclerc and lorenzotl

ynleclerc suppose it's a good thing you could easily ignore it. cheers :)

pascale.leclerc.355 trés belle, ma fille 💗

charles_leclerc maman?

username could you IMAGINE if ynleclerc told pascale but obviously hasn't told her brothers? i can FEEL the outrage

username starting to think this may be a driver, ynleclerc is at every race weekend and ALWAYS makes a post with her mystery man at some point during the week after...

username okay ms sleuth (i think it's lando)

username i'm like 65% sure it's oscar, and 35% positive it's someone that looks a lot like oscar

ynleclerc

tagged oscarpiastri

liked by oscarpiastri, logansargeant, landonorris, and others

ynleclerc someone exposed us on twitter, so i had to expose us on instagram 😮‍💨

comments on this post have been limited

oscarpiastri love you <3

oscarpiastri i will love you even when a ferrari has run me over, of course.

arthur_leclerc is this your way of telling me i was right, without texting me back?

charles_leclerc this must be a joke, non?

pascale.leclerc.355 so very excited to finally be able to invite the both of you for dinner. trés belle 🤍

charles_leclerc maman, you knew?

ynleclerc oscar and i will see you for sunday dinner, maman! <3

tresbelleleclercspam

liked by logansargeant, charles_leclerc, alexandrasaintmleux, and others

ynleclerc live feed of oscar running away from charles in the paddock when he said he 'just wanted to talk, mate'

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charles_leclerc i truly just wanted to talk about the race

charles_leclerc i did not have a speech planned, non

arthur_leclerc i did have a speech planned

lorenzotl i just wanted to welcome him to the family, as a good big brother should

oscarpiastri my apple watch warned me of an overactive heart rate 5 times today. why did you do this to me. why couldn't you have three sisters???

ynleclerc so very sorry, in our next life i'll try to make sure you only have to worry about sisters and not three overprotective brothers

oscarpiastri as long as i get to spend every lifetime with you <3

i actually got a request for something like this ages ago, and finally got around to finishing it. i so hope you all loved it as much as i loved writing it. thank you for all the support!!

i'm not currently taking requests, but if anyone has lil suggestions or prompts please feel free to send them.

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Brothers in Blood!!!

this is in response to @poorly-drawn-mdzs 's recent comic because I wanted more blood on them. that's all

[dalishious]

Let’s get rid of the whitewashing Isabela mods!

Would you believe me if I told you that one of the most popular downloaded mods on NexusMods for Dragon Age II, is a mod called “Sexy Fair Skinned Isabela”? If you’re at all aware of the anti-Black racism that exists in fandom spaces, then I imagine you would.

Well, now we have the power to do something about it.

The current File Submission Guidelines for NexusMods includes a section on Inappropriate Content. Under this section, reads the following:

“Content that may be generally construed as provocative, divisive, objectionable, discriminatory, or abusive toward any real-world individual or group, may be subject to moderation. This includes but is not limited to content involving politics, race, religion, gender identity, sexuality, or social class. We tolerate content related to real world issues and events as long as the appropriate tag ("Real World Issues") is used and the content is handled in a tasteful, respectful, and non-inflammatory manner. Users who do not wish to see such content should make use of our content blocking feature.”

Now, unfortunately this rule has been abused by folks who want mods that add inclusivity taken down. (I myself had my mod that gave BG3’s Shadowheart darker skin removed.) HOWEVER, it has also been successfully used to get rid of whitewashing mods within the Baldur’s Gate 3 modding community! So, why not for Dragon Age as well?

Dragon Age II may be an older game now, but that does not make it any less against these guidelines to have mods like the following remain up:

Sexy Fair Skinned Isabela v2 by lustrianna

Sexy Outfit for Fair Skinned Isabela by lustrianna

Dark Celtic Isabela by Ravenwolfie

Dark Celtic Isabela Head 1 by Ravenwolfie

Alternative Isabela by omegadeity

iveys Isabela by jandwivey

Isabela Improved Armor by Stacycmc

XN_Isabela by fosywyn

(There are, of course, other whitewashed mods as well, for Fenris and Sebastian. But I think NexusMods might be more receptive if we have a targeted campaign at a time. So, I personally think the best strategy is to currently focus on Isabela. She definitely has the most.)

How to Report Mods

1. Under the “About This Mod” section on the Mod Description tab, there is a “Report Abuse” button.

2. A pop-up will appear asking why you wish to report the mod. Select, “I believe this mod is breaking the rules” and click “Next”.

3. When asked how you believe the mod is breaking the rules, select “Inappropriate Content” and click “Next”.

4. When asked why the content is inappropriate, select “Other Terms of Service violation” and click “Next”.

5. This is where you must describe how the content is breaking the guidelines. I strongly suggest quoting the guidelines themselves. Don’t make it too long, but remember you must outline why this is wrong as if you are speaking to an ignorant baby. Here’s an example message I’ve written:

Isabela is a Black character, as confirmed by game writers Sheryl Chee and David Gaider. This mod changes Isabela to make her white, and breaks the Inappropriate Content guidelines: “Content that may be generally construed as provocative, divisive, objectionable, discriminatory, or abusive toward any real-world individual or group, may be subject to moderation.” As such, this mod should not belong on NexusMods and must be removed.

Is this quite a tedious task to report all these mods? Yes. But I believe it is a worthy one, if we can successfully get rid of them. This will only work if a lot of people come forward and participate. So please, if you use NexusMods, take a few minutes to help clean up this racism!

[chrisbesitos]

Y/N's daughter calls Madison mom for the first time.

Y/N ask Madison to pick Eloise at school today, because she got stuck on her job. Of course she said yes, Elo loves Madison as much as she loves Elo. It's been almost a year since they met, most of the time, Y/N lose her girlfriend to her daughter, because they're together Eloise wants to stay the whole time with Madison.

Now in the car with the little girl, Madison said that they could have ice cream while they wait for Y/N and Eloise agree.

"How's school today, Elo?" Madison asked with her hands on the handwheel, but looking at Eloise through the mirror.

"It was good, we played in the playground, I ate apples with caramel and I made it a drawing." Eloise replied excitedly and Madison smiled.

"So it was a good day today."

"Yep, it was." She smiled. "But today we talked about families, but I feel upset."

"Why do you feel upset, Elo? Someone said something mean to you?" Madison asked worried, because she knows how kids can be mean sometimes.

"No, but my teacher showed us pictures of families and none of them had two mothers and I didn't feel included." Eloise sniffed, she had tears in her eyes now.

Madison's heart is racing now, Eloise just called her mother and she never did this before. Suddenly she wanted to stop the car and hug Elo.

"Oh, baby. I'm so sorry." Madison stopped at the red light, she extended her hand to clean the tears on her cheeks. "Your family is as valid as the other families, okay? Me and your mother love you so much."

"I know, I love you two!" Eloise smiled. "Next time we talk about family, I'm gonna say that I have two mothers and that means double of love!"

"Yeah, you should do that!"

They got ice cream, Y/N meet them at the playground. Eloise waved to her mother, Y/N blow her a kiss. She sat next to Madison and gave her a gentle kiss.

"She called me mother." Madison said biting her lip, Y/N opened her mouth in a perfect "O" and smiled.

"Oh my God, did she?"

"Yeah, she said that she didn't feel included at school today when they talked about families, because none of the pictures have two mothers."

"Oh, they should be more inclusive, they know different types of families exist." Y/N sights angry, but she smiled and hugged Madison. "She called you mother, sweetheart."

"I feel so–" Madison got interrupted by Eloise.

"Mom, can you help me at the monkey bars?" Y/N nodded her head, but Eloise giggled. "Not you, mom, you're too short for this. I'm talking with Madison, can you please help me?"

They giggled together, Madison nodded and helped Eloise at the monkey bars. She never felt so loved before.

this is so cute im gonna die

Tags: @lizzymacdonald06 @deliciousluminaryanchor @lushjunkie @sweetreliever @watercolorskyy @de1ulugurl

join my taglist!

[i-hate-accidents]

I feel like Benedict would be so frazzled when his love is in labor. He would insist on being in the room with his wife

the author took immense liberties with this idea. she hopes you enjoy it nevertheless and offers her thanks for sharing it with them~

the author would also like to name that, whilst a she/her femme, the sort of reader who the author wrote with in mind would likely not resonate with being called 'wife.' she would likely prefer 'partner' or a more gender inclusive term. <3

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ ✕ ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

i hate accidents: a drabble

femme!reader x benedict bridgerton, femme!reader & the bridgerton family, femme!reader & penelope featherington

summary:  the adventures of a working class femme who befriends a fellow writer, a boisterous family, and a bewitching second eldest son

sections:  I. the beginning / II. the between / III. the ball

y/n:  bipoc, she/her, afab, nonbinary femme, queer, working class, of immigrant parents

content warnings:  pregnancy (no birthing/labor)

word count:  891

tagged: @mikariell95 @omgsuperstarg @flyestvenustrap @nowheredreamer @jimblejamblewritings

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ ✕ ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

“you are thinking of something.”

you smile; your husband knows you too well.  you continue to rub at your protruding stomach. 

“our child can kill a scottish king,” you respond.

benedict laughs through his nose, his ocean eyes crinkling in the adorable way that they always do whenever he is truly delighted. 

“if you hadn’t said 'scottish,' i might have needed to turn you in for treason.  why do you say that, love?”

you struggle out of your lounge, swatting at your kindly husband’s offer to assist you, and waddle over to your shelves of books.  you drag your forefinger across the spines until you emit an ‘aha!’ and pull the book.  flipping towards the end, you find the pressed wisteria you used to mark the verse and read,

“‘for none of woman born shall harm macbeth,’” you look up from the words to benedict as you beam with pride.  “see?  the premiere attribute for assassinating a fictitious monarch, and here our child has it because of me.”

your husband returns your beam as he approaches you and leans in to plant a soft kiss on your temple.  shifting himself to be behind you, he wraps his arms around your waist and rests his hands on the low of your stomach.  you lean into the comfort of his embrace.

“and how shall we support our child with their nefarious intentions?” benedict inquires.

you hum.

“both their parents are quite proficient in fencing.  perhaps it is a trait that they shall inherit?”

“that seems certain.  their parents are also quite good at sneaking about; that ought to be of use to them for their plot.”

you snort.

“i think you are too generous, love.  there is a certain eldest brother who has vehemently disproved time and time again that we are, in fact, quite terrible at sneaking about.”

benedict nuzzles his nose into the crook of your neck, causing you to giggle.  you can feel his smile against your quickened pulse.  it is silly; how he is your husband— how he is the father of your child to-be!  and yet, he still makes you feel this way.  he still makes these damned butterflies flutter within you.

“more incentive to keep practicing, no?”  you feel benedict’s smile broaden into a grin.  “for our child, of course.”

stupid benedict.

you shake your head with all the affection in your heart.

“for our child.”

a small silence falls amongst you.  you should allow yourself this comfort.  you should allow yourself this peace.  but—

“do you think i can do it?” 

you had meant to say it as plainly as you could, but the tears that threaten to fall from your eyes choked your words into a whisper.  benedict releases himself from the embrace, one hand still on your stomach, as he shifts to face you.

“do what, my love?”

the crack in the softness of his voice and the gentle circles you feel on your stomach from his touch make you close your eyes.

“birth our child.  raise them.  what if it is too much?  what if i hurt them?  what if i—” you flutter your eyes open to the tear-blurry sight of disquiet in ocean eyes, “what if i am not the parent they deserve?”

he says your name, and that is enough to allow your tears to fall.  you start to look down, feeling the weight of your shame settle within you, but benedict does not let you.  he gently cups your face, lifts it, and kisses wherever tears roll down your cheeks.  benedict murmurs ‘i love you’ with each kiss until he whispers,

“i am fearful too.”

you pull your face away from his and see how his throat bobs, as it always does right before he wishes to say something more firmly.

“i am fearful that i will fail them.  i am fearful that i will not be even an inkling of a father to our child as my father was to me,” benedict heaves a sigh, and you see how he wills himself not to let his tears fall.  “but,” his throat bobs again, “then i remind myself that our child has you, y/n.”

you place a hand on his cheek and softly rub your thumb against his skin.

“you can cry too, benedict,” you manage.

he huffs out a laugh as he allows a tear to fall.  you gently press your lips against his cheek to capture it.

“yes, but i am not the one carrying our child.”

you look down at your stomach and then up at your husband.  you offer a small smile.

“i suppose it is your fault that i am in such a state.”

that makes benedict laugh fully. 

stupid butterflies. 

he tries to look down and away, suddenly shy by the very silly observation you have made, but you do not let him.  you shift your head and capture him with a kiss between his chin and his cheek, gently pushing his face up and murmuring ‘i love you’ into his skin.

perhaps your and benedict’s fear shall never go away.  perhaps you two shall never be the perfect parents you wish to be for your child.  but your child was created out of real, true love.  a love that protects, that laughs, that nurtures, that comforts, that heals.  and perhaps, that is enough.

𝄆 ⚘ ✸ ✕ ✸ ⚘ 𝄇

[snapscube]

In Dawntrail did you enjoy a different character playing the main role, or do you prefer when the player character is leading the narrative?

this is definitely a major point of contention in the fanbase rn and i can generally see valid feelings/criticism on both ends of the spectrum. i myself do fall somewhere in between the most extreme takes on this. i won't go into too much detail about actual events but ill tag this as spoilers anyway just in case. ok so my thoughts are:

firstly, i like Wuk Lamat a lot. i don't think she deserves even half of the pure unfiltered ire that she is receiving from a large subset of the community rn. the amount of people who have already turned being a wuk lamat hater into an advertised personality trait really frustrates me. i really enjoyed seeing her personal journey through the story and i was overall very satisfied by her inclusion. however, i do not think the story was perfectly paced or balanced, and i definitely do understand where people are coming from when they say that they could have used a little less of her in the forefront. honestly it did kind of ultimately disappoint me that we missed out on a lot of potential interaction/development with someone like Krile, who in spite of being promised a big breakout role in this expansion still somewhat felt like a SLIGHT (i have to stress slight) afterthought. she did get some notable moments of development and emotion, but i feel like there could have been more.

okay but, your question is about our role as a player in the narrative. i hold the opinion that for THIS EXPANSION SPECIFICALLY, the warrior of light taking somewhat of a narrative backseat actually made a ton of sense and fit the themes of the narrative as well as the promise of a somewhat breezy summer vacation for our heroes. now, i will say this: i really do not agree with the idea that the WoL should be in a mentor role indefinitely because our story is done developing and we need to give the spotlight to "the next generation" of heroes in the world. i appreciate the SENTIMENT of this, but like for me personally.... i don't want Pella's story to be done, yknow? i definitely would be disappointed if this was the DE FACTO role she played in every expansion past this. but i don't even think that is factually what's going to happen. we're currently in a setup phase! and, again, bringing it back to this narrative and the themes within, a lot of Dawntrail about the experience of entering unfamiliar places and learning about the customs and the traditions of people already within it to best help them without unwelcomely trampling on their culture in the process. i think a story like that is the PERFECT time for the WoL to take a bit of a backseat. wuk lamat is also somewhat unfamilar like us yes, but Tural is still her home and she is about to be tasked with leading it. i feel like centering our character in that equation would feel.... really disingenuous? it was kinda frustrating sometimes when it felt like hey.... there's a situation happening right now that can be solved by skilled combat and you have a literally god killer standing right here doing a frown emote, but at a certain point i could chalk it up to growing pains or necessary suspension of disbelief in the interest of the overall emotional hook of the narrative. a lot of those moments could be explained away with enough thought about the character motivations and culture at play, though sometimes it does feel like a stretch. again, far from a perfectly written MSQ. it starts slow and it's messy and it throws a LOT of stuff at you that doesn't always pay off like you expect or want. but i dunno! i think we're gonna see some really interesting stuff come to the forefront in the future, and i think especially now knowing that much of the playerbase thought we took TOO much of a backseat here CS3 will probably adjust their focus accordingly next time. so i can't be too upset really about the stuff i wasn't into. the rest of it was great imo!

[bigtreefest]

Essie’s Summer Lovin’ 300 Follower Celebration!!

I can’t believe it, but I’ve hit 300 followers! Thank you so much for everyone who has helped me get here and all the encouragement and love you’ve shown me. You have no idea how much it means💗 *please excuse the terrible graphic that I made on my lunch break. I tried, I swear. 🥳🥳🥳🥳🤷🏻‍♀️

For the occasion, I’m hosting a writing event! I’d love for you, yes you! to join in the celebration!! I know what you’re thinking: ‘well Essie, how do I do that?’ Let me tell you!!

Gather up all the sweet, summer vibes you can muster, along with one or multiple of the prompts listed below, and write a fic! Prompts and rules below!

Prompts:

*feel free to adjust them accordingly to work better in your fic

- pick your favorite summer song and use it to inspire your fic (optional, and very much not necessary, but encouraged. I love the songs of summer)

Scenarios:

- a character gets a sunburn

- someone lost their bathing suit in the ocean/pool

- a popsicle dripping down someone’s skin

- sand. Sand everywhere.

- beach games got a little too rough

- reading and someone gets the book wet

- putting a flower behind their ear

- babe is a surfer

- watching a sunrise/sunset together

- a long drive together

- putting sunscreen on one another

- rain spoils your summer outdoor plans

- bonfire

- catching fireflies

Quotes:

- “it hurts when I _____” “then stop doing that”

- “I wore this purposely because I thought the tan line would drive you crazy.”

- “what do you mean you didn’t pack snacks?”

- “here, you can share with me”

- “aw man, that was the last one”

- “I’ve got something else you can lick”

- “ew, gross. That’s not what I thought would happen today”

- “who thought a place with mosquitoes was a good idea?”

- “yeah. I know” “I didn’t mean I was hot in that way”

- “you know that one’s my favorite”

- “we’re not supposed to be in here” / “not here”

- “why’s it…sticky?”

Kinks:

- praise

- size

- daddy

- equal partnership? That’s my kink.

- breeding

- oooo! hand

- public sex/trying not to get caught

- overstimulation

Tropes:

- friends to lovers

- enemies to lovers

- hurt/comfort

- last summer together before going separate ways🥺

- vacation fling cut short by having to go home

Environments:

- beach

- pool

- lake house

- ice cream shop/stand

- inside in the ac

- a bar

- resort/hotel

- out on the water/ in a boat

Rules/How to Play:

- Character/love interest must be a CE babe/Bucky (no other Seb babes, however you may be able to make a case for boedecker or destroyer Chris)

- No deeply dark themes, including noncon, murder and death, toilet stuff, incest, or anything you think would be too intense for my poor heart. Dubcon, stepcest, and soft!dark are allowable if you just keep it light and find it necessary, but use your discretion please

- Posts should be at least 300 words, with no upper limit! Please us a ‘read more’ past 150

- fics should be stand-alone. If they are part of a series, they should be able to be read alone.

- tag me @bigtreefest and put the tags #essie’s summer lovin’ 300 follower celebration #summer lovin’ celebration and #essie’s 300 follower special so I can reblog you and add your fic to the Masterlist!!

- be inclusive and considerate!!

- make/write as many posts as you’d like!

- this will run from Sunday, July 13 to Wednesday, July 31, 2024. Late entries will be accepted through the end of summer.

- happy writing and thank you for celebrating with me!!

Tagging those who interacted with my post gauging interest, but all are welcome to join!!

@stargazingfangirl18 @krirebr @ronearoundblindly @witchywithwhiskey @thezombieprostitute @darsynia @jesevans @navybrat817 @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory @brandycranby @universitypenguin @gone-to-fight-the-fairies @delicatebarness @biteofcherry @dreamtinblackandwhite @levans44

[oceanlipgloss]

MEAT SHOP

BEELZEBUB.

+ warnings: dark themes, erotic hues, graphic descriptions of horror and gore, inclusion of vore, strong language.

+ female mc, feminine pronouns.

No restaurant could ever dream of offering such buttery meat—never to be sold in any boucherie.

A precise percentage of fat. A measured amount of muscle. The perfect mix of flavours. Raw flesh softened into dough between his bloody teeth. Dead cells trickled down his smiling lips in strawberry streaks.

Her bones cracked like candy in his mouth, but she didn’t taste sweet.

A once-in-a-lifetime blend. Not flavoured like heaven. Paradise isn’t even a good thing, now is it?

Fuck, how long he had been waiting!

So close. He was so close! And yet, he was losing his fucking mind. Though God had created him a ravenous madman, sanity was still slipping through his feverish fingers and down his trembling hands. Like oil and grease.

There was no time to cut the cake. No time, no time, no time. None at all! None whatsoever. He had to rip a bite out of her.

No, no, no, no.

Hold it.

This is an only chance. Jackpot. A once-in-a-lifetime meal, remember? Even if it wasn’t a full course, lunch, breakfast, or so much as a snack.

He can never indulge in this grade of meat anymore.

Somewhere, in an insignificant corner of his scattering mind, the thought made him sad. What a shame it is for such exquisite food to never be enjoyed again.

Later, later. As for now!

Should he swallow her whole or rip flesh and bone apart first? Choke down meat or savour flavour? Lick blood or drink plasma?

In the end, he didn’t take the time to peel smooth skin back like he would have done with chocolate wrappers.

He couldn’t do it.

Not too long ago he had sent her an invitation into his bathtub. Locked up her hot body between his legs. With every kiss fabric melted off.

What a dirty human. He could smell the fucking arousal on her.

Dumb, clueless bitch.

Everything had to be just right. He did not want to miss the burst of even one particular cell. He hadn’t wanted to risk watering down the palate. So there were no flowers. There was no water. Nothing. Just pristine enamel. And him. It was empty.

His lips had kissed her shoulder softly.

And then his teeth had bitten down.

Gentle.

Hard.

Harder still.

He had torn away a piece of her.

What do humans say?

Oh, but of course.

‘Bon apetit!’

The tub overflowed with blood. Fetid burgundy burst under his weight and pooled onto the bathroom floor.

No difference between candied cherries and blood clots. Ligaments and tendons. Flecks of flesh and bits of bone. Broken fingers and curled toes. Cartilage that’s hard, but much softer than stone. He devoured them all, polished stains off glossy marble.

No crime scene or slaughterhouse could have compared.

His smile shone. He felt a little bit empty. Was it regret? Well, it’s too late! Such pleasure is worth every regret in the world. His guts ached in longing under his grimy nails. So good, though not yet full.

How he wanted more!

He adored the putrid pain, the harmonious flavour, the very gore.

So little remained of her...she couldn’t even be called a corpse.

No more. Not in any meat shop.

Once was not enough.

With trembling fingertips and a strange, twisted love, he stroked the girl’s skull.

Oh, you stupid little human, you.

If only there were more of you.

+tag: @/kanatashinkaifr does a gory jumpscare sound good to u? :P

+notes: Beel is very much thriller material. There is a cold-blooded, unstable part of him. A true gluttony incarnate—lusting for flesh, eating all there is, leaving nothing behind. No matter what resides in his heart and who the victim is, he's a devil and his sin continues to rule him. Even if he does manage to resist eating MC, his desire to devour her is a flame that still burns. Inspired by the in-game screenshots in this post.

This, my people, was a dark pleasure to write. Blood and meat, dear peeps ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) I want to write more stuff like this in the future. I kid you not, I almost felt free for a minute. *Rubbing hands like a villain fly* hail horror, hail gore!

+ MASTERLIST

+ AO3 POST

©𝙤𝙘𝙚𝙖𝙣𝙡𝙞𝙥𝙜𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙨

[thee-radio-host-is-a-kookaburra]

Alright, I’m gonna make a post talking about BIID and how the radqueer community grooms kids into their gross ideas. Warning for mentions of anti-recovery ideas, grooming, childhood trauma, bigotry, and y’know, radqueer shit.

So, I have BIID. This is a disorder where one has the desire to amputate a healthy limb. Without going too much into detail, it is caused by my trauma relating to amputations from when I was a little kid. Now, seeing kids calling themselves “transabled” is horrifying to me. Let me explain;

Currently, there is no known cure for BIID. However, that doesn’t mean one should go through with amputation (or, in some cases, blinding or paralysis). This can cause many, many problems considering one would quite literally be disabling themself. Sometimes, simulating, and, in mine and some other’s cases, drawing, can help ease the discomfort of BIID without the need to disable yourself.

(I also want to add that I do not blame those with BIID who’s discomfort was too much and who went through with disabling themself. It is a disorder, and not everyone has access to things that can help them, nor will anyone fully be “cured” by things made to help them. You are not to blame.)

The transabled community, however, actively encourages this, as well as actively discourages seeking help. They claim people advocating to not disable yourself are “basically transphobic”. You can even find posts mocking those struggling with BIID.

And it doesn’t just stop at amputation.

This community also believes that one can “transition” into mental disabilities, and gives tips on how to give yourself these disabilities. Just scrolling through the “transabled” tag you can find people giving “advice” on how to get or act like you have these things.

So, let’s say you’re a kid with BIID. You find this community of people mocking those who are looking to recover, and are encouraging and even praising your disorder. Well, it doesn’t stop there. Let’s say you decide that you’re “transabled” and look into the community. And now, you find that not only do they discourage recovery for things like BIID, they also discourage recovery for harmful paraphilias.

Not only are they ‘pro-contact’ for things like actual pedophilia, they also promote the idea that minors being attracted to adults (a normal thing, btw) is actually being an AAM (adult attracted minor) and also believe that these minors should seek out adults. I can’t show screenshots because looking up “AAM” on Tumblr would put me on a watchlist. That’s how bad it is. I do, however, have examples of radqueers ENCOURAGING minor/adult relationships.

So, boom, you’ve got the perfect recipe for grooming. And, oh, did I mention the “transrapist” and “transnazi” stuff? Because yea, that exists too.

I could go on and on about how awful this community is. It blatantly manages to capture every sort of bigotry imaginable all while grooming kids and pretending it’s the most inclusive community on Earth.

Be aware.

[syd-djarin]

Sugar, Spice & Please Fuck Me Nice (neighbor!joel AU)

chapter two: sex and candy

*18+ minors DNI*

tags: mentions of anxiety, religious shame/guilt, reader being insecure, mentions of (negative) past sexual experiences and partners, brief mention of alcohol consumption, v fingering, oral (f receiving) joel is a cunnilinguist, 2000’s nostalgia, mentions of the patriarchy (booooo)  squirting (sue me),  Joel-Land™️™️™️

reader has hair that she fidgets with, "grows warm" /"cheeks burning" but not necessarily blushing, with embarrassment - minor edits to make this more inclusive for my readers <3

word count: ~4.5k

Author/s notes: Sorry it took longer to get ch. 2 out than I anticipated. I've had a lot going on in my personal life (I got a new job!) But I promise it won't be as long for ch. 3 hehe. this is a lengthy chapter, hope y'all enjoy!!

had to name reader's bestie after my dear friend @katiexpunk <3 thanks for always letting me run ideas by you and being a peach in general.

and thank you to @softiedingo for being a beta reader as well <333

It has been two weeks since you introduced yourself to Joel and Sarah. You hate to admit it, but you haven’t been able to stop thinking about Joel. Your mind will stay preoccupied temporarily, then they circle back to him. 

Throwing clothes in the washer? Joel. 

Boiling water for pasta? Joel. 

Doing the dishes? Joel. 

In the shower? Yep, definitely Joel. 

And this morning is no different. 

You’re staring at yourself in your bathroom mirror, brushing your teeth, mind deep into Joel-Land, then your thoughts take a sharp turn - for the worst. You’re thinking about all of your past sexual encounters. 

How unsatisfying and selfish your past partners were. You hadn’t been romantically involved with any of your past partners, all of them casual-no-strings-attached type of arrangements. 

Even if the sex was casual, did that mean the pleasure had to be one-sided? Of course not. 

However, after each encounter you found yourself feeling disappointed, and truthfully, it made you feel…..icky. Was it religious shame? Even though you don’t participate or believe in any religion anymore, your formative years were spent in a conservative, Christian church; where sex is bad, and sin is bad. And you don’t want to be bad, because you will go to hell. You don’t even believe in hell, yet, there is a small voice in your head that still worries about eternal damnation. Jeez, I should really see a therapist about that.  

 Perhaps it’s the misogyny and sexism, rampant and hard-wired into society and into mind’s since the beginning of time. 

Your internal theological and philosophical debate gives you a throbbing headache. 

+++

It’s Friday. Halloween falls on a Tuesday this year, so most Halloween celebrations would occur this weekend. 

If you were still in college, you’d most likely attend a costume party at a frat party and drink until the sun came up. These days, you don’t recover from hangovers as easily and find the anxiety spiral that follows a night of drinking to be too debilitating so you’re planning on keeping it chill this year. 

You’re pouring out a bag of candy into a bowl, so candy is easily accessible for your sweet tooth cravings when you hear a strong, loud cluster of knocks at your front door. 

Knock. Knock. Knock-knock. 

Shaking off your initial startling from the sudden knocks, you open your front door to find Joel. He’s leaning his shoulder on the doorframe, one half of his body bears all his weight. He swiftly straightens upright again when you greet him. He looks even more handsome from the last time you saw him. He’s wearing dark wash jeans that accentuate his body in the most delectable way and a black t-shirt with a faded MILLER CONSTRUCTION graphic that is just barely legible. 

You have the urge to steal the well-worn shirt so you can sleep in it, relish his scent, and let it become a metaphorical embrace of Joel. 

Fuck, I really am down bad, you internally scold yourself to come back to the present moment. 

“Joel! Ho-how are you?” you manage to creak out through nerves and surprise. 

His beautiful, dark brown eyes are staring right into yours. His eyes could compel you to do anything. 

“I’m doin’ alright, you?” The word ‘alright’ is drawn out making it sound like “awllll-right”

“Can’t complain. Y’all settling in okay?” tilting your head unconsciously, as if to convey genuinity.  

“Oh yeah, ‘s a nice neighborhood. Sarah seems to be enjoyin’ her new school, I was a lil worried she’d have a hard time but she’s a smart kid and gets along with pretty much everyone. Awful silly of me to worry in the first place…” he’s rambling, hands moving at the same pace as his speech. 

You find his rambling to be cute, it’s a bit of a juxtaposition from his strong, demanding presence. 

Joel realizes he’s nervous after he concludes his tangent. When’s the last time he felt nervous around women? Especially a sweet, non-threatening woman like you? 

“Anywho, I came over to uh- ask you somethin’... Sarah liked your cookies so much she wants to learn how to make them herself and was wondering if you’d teach her?”

“I’d love to!” You shoot him a flattered smile,  learning that Sarah wanted you to teach her to bake makes your heart sing.

Joel is amazed at you. You agreed to teach a twelve year old, one who you hardly know, to bake. He shouldn’t be surprised given your sweet demeanor and generous heart, but he’s in awe of you. 

“You sure? I mean, you obviously don’t have to if you don’t want—”

“Joel, I’d be honored to. Send her over in an hour,” you cut him off, hoping to convey your delight in teaching someone else to bake, the same way your grandma did for you. 

Joel can’t stop the shit-eating grin that appears on his face. 

“Sounds good. I’ll send her your way, sweetheart,” he lingers just for a moment to watch your reaction to the nickname, the one he’s used twice. 

You desperately try to keep your composure cool and collected, but you’ve never had a good poker face. You wear your emotions like an accessory. And right now, you are flustered. You divert your attention to the ground as if looking into his eyes would expose your every thought. 

“O-okay!” You can barely stammer out a response before he is pivoting off your porch, back to his own house. 

You can’t see it with his back turned to you, but Joel is smirking to himself and feeling amused at his effect on you. 

+++

“You sure you don’t want me to go with you?”

“Yes, dad. I don’t need a chaperone to bake cookies. I’m a big girl now, remember?”

Yes, he is acutely aware that she is a big girl now. Well, not really, to him she will always be his baby girl, but that doesn’t stop her from growing up. Too fast for his liking. The idea of her becoming a teenager almost gives him a coronary. It won’t be long before she’s driving, then graduating, and college. What if she wants to attend a school in another state? Across the country? 

He feels queasy at that thought, afraid that she will grow out of thinking her dad is the coolest, afraid that she doesn’t want to spend time with her old man anymore. 

He wills himself to think about something else. Anything else. Inevitably his thoughts wander to you. 

Joel hates to admit it, but he was hoping to join Sarah for the baking lesson. He wants an excuse to be in your radiant, sweet, beautiful presence again. 

While you can’t stop thinking about him, he can’t stop thinking about you. 

Driving home from work? You. 

Making dinner? You. 

Making his morning coffee? You. 

Laying in bed? Oh, yeah. Definitely you. 

Exactly one hour passes when Sarah arrives at your house. You’ve already set up in your kitchen in preparation; already pre-measured the ingredients, setting out all the necessary baking equipment and you even found a spare apron for Sarah to wear. Ya know, to give her the full experience. 

“Oooh, this apron makes me feel like a professional!” Sarah exclaims after tying the strings on her designated apron. 

“Well, after this, you will be.”

You can’t remember the last time you felt this much joy. Sharing a passion of yours with someone who is eager to learn from you delights your heart and soul in a way you didn’t know you needed until now. 

“So first, we’ll need to combine the butter and sugar,” Sarah dumps the butter and sugar into the mixing bowl. “Great, now we want to beat the mixture until it looks fluffy.” 

She is completely engrossed in watching for the desired texture, furrowing her brows together in a way that mimics Joel. You find it adorable. 

“Excellent, now we are going to add in the eggs and vanilla extract.” 

She follows your instructions to a T, meticulous and concentrated as if she were mixing hazardous chemicals in a lab. 

“You’re doing great.  Now let’s add our dry ingredients, half of it at a time.” 

Her eyes light up when it’s time to fold in the chocolate chips. You both agree it’s the best part, both of you indulging in a few before adding them to the dough. 

You assist Sarah in rolling the dough into little balls and placing them onto the baking sheet. 

While waiting for the cookies to bake, you learn more about Sarah and Joel. She tells you about their old house, the camping trip they went on this past summer, the catchy pop songs on the radio that Joel will pretend to hate but she catches him humming the tune later, how Joel makes a big breakfast for the two of them every Sunday, a ritual they started when Sarah started school - he makes pancakes just for her. 

Getting a snapshot of Joel and Sarah’s lives and their dynamic makes your mega crush on Joel that much bigger. From what Sarah has shared with you, he seems like a caring, protective yet fun dad. You’re aching to learn everything about him. 

“Do you have any plans for Halloween?” Sarah asks as you’re pulling the baking sheet out of the oven. 

“Oh um, I usually just hand out candy to trick-or-treaters. Nothing super exciting. What about you?”

“We always order pizza and watch a scary movie - nothing super scary though. We dress up too. Well, I dress up but dad thinks he is too cool to do that so he wears the same boring mask every year,” she has a mischievous grin on her face, concocting a plan when she asks, “do you want to come over and join us?” 

On one hand you’d love nothing more than to spend more time with your new friend and Joel, but on the other hand the thought of being in the same room as Joel, in his house, makes you both anxious and aroused. Dizzy, nervous, and horny makes for an unpleasant combination. 

Gaining a sliver of bravery, you swallow your apprehension and say yes. 

“Sure, yeah, what time should I come over?”

“6:30. And you better wear a costume!”

+++

You’ve spent the past hour trying to put a costume together. Not making any progress, you decide to seek external advice - your best friend Katie. 

You both met as freshman and have been close friends ever since, even rooming together in your first off-campus apartment. She moved to the West Coast shortly after graduation, though you still keep in touch via email and phone. You give her the scoop on Joel - him moving into the neighborhood, your gigantic crush on him, how you baked cookies with Sarah yesterday. She’s impatiently waiting for you to bone your hot neighbor. Girl, I’m waiting too. 

“Do you still have that bunny costume you wore junior year?”

You rummage through your tote of seasonal clothing in search of said costume. Pulling it out, you now realize just how skimpy the costume really is. Bunny ears and a tail paired with a skin tight black bodysuit leaves virtually nothing to the imagination and definitely too much skin for this occasion. 

“Dude, I can’t wear this! His daughter will be there! I can’t believe I wore this out in public. This is X-Rated,” you’re growing agitated in having no success in your costume, to the point that you are tempted to tell Sarah you came down with something so you don’t have to go. 

“Okay, okay, the ears and tail are still salvageable. Do you have something besides the bodysuit?”

“Ummm…” you trail off into the phone, frantically searching for something to replace the risque bodysuit. You find a plain white baby tee amongst the sea of clothing, deciding you can pair it with your favorite jeans, the ones that accentuate your body in all the right places. 

“This could work..” muttering to yourself when a devious thought pops into your head. White shirt, no bra. 

“Found it! Gotta go, loveyoubye!” You hang up the call before Katie has a chance to respond, tossing your pink Razr on your bed. Your body hums in anticipation and jitters, feeling emboldened by your no bra plot. 

After throwing on your outfit, you style your hair differently than you normally do. You add several coats of mascara to your lashes, sweep on some blush that complements your skin and add a sparkly lip gloss to your lips, making them appear extra plump and juicy. 

You grab a bag of Halloween candy and you practically skip across the street. Reaching the front door of your new bestie and her gorgeous dad, your confidence is replaced with a furious ball of anxiety. Your heart is palpitating and you feel your stomach churn. 

 Would Joel think you looked stupid? Or worse, childish? Fuck, you should’ve stayed home. 

Joel opening the door snaps you out of your thought spiral but only briefly, because he’s staring at you like you’ve started growing extra limbs. He looks both puzzled and pissed? 

“What uh-what’re you doing here?” 

His voice has a sharpness you haven’t heard before and it stings. 

You have a moment of realization. 

Sarah didn’t run the invitation by her dad.

 You deduct that he isn’t a fan of surprises. 

Before you can formulate a response, Sarah saves you from having to do so. 

“You dressed up! I’m glad you came,” she squeals while wrapping her arms around your middle in an embrace. 

She looks up at Joel from where she’s latched onto you and gives her confused dad an explanation. 

“Dad, it’s okay, I invited her.” 

That seems to alleviate his confusion. You, on the other hand, not so much. You’re internally screaming at yourself. It’s obvious to you that Joel wasn’t expecting you, and in conclusion, doesn’t want you here. 

“I didn’t mean to impose, I—I’m sorry, I’ll uh— just go back home,” fighting back tears of embarrassment, looking everywhere except at Joel.  You think now is a superb time to move across the country, change your name, dye your hair, somewhere far away from this humiliation. 

Joel senses you’re feeling rejected in some way.

“No, no, come on in. Jus’ wasn’t expectin’ you s’all,” he gives you his most reassuring smile. 

You swallow the lump of emotions in your throat. 

He didn’t expect you to come over, nor did he expect you’d show up as his personal version of a Playboy bunny.  He almost busted in his jeans when he could see your nipples through your very thin white t-shirt. He thinks you’re trying to kill him. 

+++

You’re starting to relax once you three settle on the couch, Sarah nestling between you and Joel, Alien on the TV. Turns out, you and Joel share a love for the film. You may or may not have gotten into a heated (playful) debate about the other films in the franchise.

Joel gets an influx of trick-or-treaters, more than you usually get, residents of the neighborhood taking advantage of this opportunity to be nosy. Again. 

In between costume clad visitors, you sneak glances at Joel, who looks absolutely scrumptious tonight. His hair had been damp and combed back when you arrived, his curls now almost dry and in all their glory. He’s wearing an obviously well-loved, faded Pearl Jam concert tee that clings to his arms and grey sweatpants that sit dangerously low on his hips. You wonder if all his shirts fit like that. When he stands, you can see the outline of his dick through his sweatpants.  You have to manually restrain yourself from pouncing on him. You’re soaking through your panties and you’re a little worried that if you stand, the seat beneath you will be soaked too. 

The scent of his body wash invades your nostrils, a heavenly mix of sandalwood and cinnamon. You’re imagining yourself running your hands through his hair and burying your nose into his neck, alternating between kissing and sucking on the skin there. You want to taste every inch of his skin, taking your time to savor him. 

Joel’s stealing glances at you, too. He’s never seen someone look so sweet and seductive, divine even. You smell warm and sweet, amber and vanilla. Not the artificial, manufactured type vanilla scent, it’s like vanilla straight from the bean. When you readjust your position on the couch to get more comfortable, your tits lightly bounce, unrestrained by a bra. He has to stifle a groan, disguising it as a cough. He wonders how much they’d bounce if you were riding his cock. Your lips are absolutely sinful. Pouty and plump, juicy from the lip gloss. The bunny ears are the nail in his coffin. He’s picturing you bent over on his couch, still wearing the bunny ears as he devours your pussy from behind. 

Only a quarter of the way through the movie, a few of Sarah’s friends from her old school pop in to invite her over for an impromptu sleepover to which Joel agrees to, since they no longer go to school together. 

Which means you and Joel are left alone. Together. Your body is aching to close space between you and the man you’re enamored with. You don’t know that Joel is itching to do the same. 

“Sarah couldn’t stop talkin’ bout yesterday. She loved hangin’ out with ya, thanks again for doin’ that.”

“She’s welcome to come over anytime. She’s a sweet kid,” you’re beaming at the fact she enjoyed baking with you. Joel notices the way your eyes gleam, overflowing with delight.

You finally have the courage to meet his eyes. The way his eyes are raking over your entire body makes your clit throb in anticipation. Your heartbeat is erratic, thumping loudly in your ears. 

The energy in the room is magnetic, pulling you and Joel closer together. 

“You can uh-scoot closer t’me if ya want,” he gruffs out, beckoning you to scoot closer to him. Joel wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but you make him feel like a flustered teenage boy about to kiss a girl for the first time. 

You scoot closer to Joel, hoping he doesn’t notice your body trembling from nerves. 

With your body flush next to his, he stretches one of his toned arms behind your head, resting it on the back of the couch. You can feel the warmth radiating from his body and it sends a shiver down your spine, straight to your aching core. 

The tension in the air is palpable, both of your bodies buzzing in arousal. You’re both pretending to watch the movie in front of you, but your minds are elsewhere. He gently removes his arm from the couch and rests it across your shoulders. It’s a seemingly innocuous gesture, but its impact makes you clench around nothing, more arousal dripping into your panties. 

He leans his head down close to yours, his mouth behind your ear.

“No bra? You’re a naughty lil bunny aren’t ya?” His hot breath tickles your ear, your eyes clamp shut involuntarily and you whimper. A high-pitched, whiny whimper, and Joel’s never heard anything sweeter. 

He places his other large palm on your thigh, gently squeezing it. Your skin prickling in goosebumps and your nipples are hard enough to cut glass. The wetness pooled in your panties is beyond the point of comfort. 

Joel presses a chaste kiss behind your ear, eliciting another whimper from you. He peppers kisses from your neck all the way to your collarbones.

“This okay?” 

“Mhmmm…”  You’re already so keyed up you feel hazy. Your whole body feels hot, lit aflame by Joel’s lips on your skin.  

“You gonna be a good girl for me?” he rasps while his hand is caressing your thigh, intentionally not too close to where you want him. Need him. 

“Mhmmm,” you moan, still unable to form words, arousal taking over all of your bodily functions. 

“Need you to use your words, honey.” He squeezes your thigh again.

He pulls his face back from your neck to look you in the eyes, and slows his movements on your thigh so you can tell him to back off or give him the green light to continue. You grab his hand on your thigh and squeeze it, to keep him from removing it. 

“Joel, pleeease. Want it so bad. Need you so fuckin’ bad.” 

You beg in the most sultry voice you can muster, emphasizing every syllable. 

Your lust laden eyes and the way you mewl for him ignites something ravenous, primal, carnal in him. He hasn’t heard you cuss before and it sounds so filthy in your honeyed voice.  His rock hard cock twitches in his pants. 

He presses his plush lips against yours. It’s hesitant at first, but his apprehension dissipates when you wrap your arms around his neck and kiss him back with fervor. Joel deepens the kiss, one hand gripping your hip, the other hand splayed between your shoulder blades, pressing your body further into his. You tangle one of your hands in his luscious curls. He tastes like sweet peppermint and a hint of black coffee. You feel dizzy, tasting him, finally feeling him. 

He breaks the kiss, guiding you to lie down on your back and props your head up on one of the couch armrests. 

He’s looking down at you and he’s never seen anything more beautiful. You’re always pretty, effortlessly so. But seeing you underneath him, sweet and desperate for him? He’d do anything you ask him to.

“You’re the prettiest lil bunny. So fuckin’ pretty.”

You’re bashful under his gaze and his compliment, cheeks burning. 

Joel notices you trying to shy away and he places a thumb under your chin, forcing you to keep looking at him. 

Now you feel embarrassed for trying to shy away in the first place.

“Sorry I’m—”

“Nothing to ‘pologize for, sweetheart,” he’s caressing your chin with his thumb, alleviating all of the embarrassment from you.

“Wanna taste you. You’ve no idea how bad I’ve wanted to taste you. Needed to know if you were as sweet as your cookies.”

“Oh, fuck,” you breathe out, “yes - yes please, taste me, Joel”

He chuckles softly at your enthusiasm and promptly rids you of your jeans, making the leather of the couch feel cool to the back of your thighs. 

Joel lets out a guttural moan when he sees your sky blue satin panties soaked through. He runs a finger over the damp spot, making you quiver. His touch is featherlight and it’s maddening. You’re squirming, hips lifting off the couch, chasing for more. 

He obliges, running a finger over your clit with added pressure. 

“Joel, please–” You’re a whiny mess under him, and he’s just getting started. He’s rubbing gentle circles over your bud, still-panty clad. 

He presses a kiss on your belly, just below your navel. The tenderness makes your body shudder.

He finally removes your panties and you gasp when the cool air hits your throbbing pussy. 

“Pretty girl with a pretty pussy to match.” Joel’s admiring the way your pussy is glistening for him, begging to be touched. 

He runs a finger through your drenched seam, your juices dripping onto his thick digit. He licks his finger, then shoves it into his mouth so he can taste every drop. His eyes clamp shut, groaning at how you taste. You commit the image to memory, not wanting to forget how he looks and sounds when he tastes you for the first time.

“Knew you’d taste sweet. So fuckin’ sweet.” 

Your brain short circuits when you realize that means he’s thought about this before. That he’s imagined how you’d taste. Picturing him fantasizing about you makes you light-headed. 

Joel spreads your legs wider, giving him full access to your pussy. He dives in without warning, licking from entrance up to your clit.

“Fuck, Joel!” You hoarsely shout with one hand gripping the couch cushion and one tugging onto Joel’s messy curls. His beard scratches the sensitive skin of your pussy as you grind your hips into his mouth, desperate for release. 

 You see stars while he expertly alternates between flicking his tongue and sucking on your clit. He’s keeping a steady rhythm, on the slower side, taking his time pleasuring you. He’s enjoying this.

Obscene sounds fill the room; Joel devouring your pussy like it’s the Last Supper and your chorus of moans and expletives. 

“Fuck, don’t stop, don’t you fucking stop!”

“Shitshitshit–”

“Joelllll-” 

He picks up the pace, your fingers cramping from their deathgrip on the couch. You feel your peak approaching - sweat beading on your forehead, chest heaving, head thrown back in ecstasy. 

Joel senses your approaching release and pushes one of his thick, dexterous fingers into your weeping hole. 

He reaches for your hand that’s tangled in his hair and intertwines your fingers with his, resting your connected hands on your inner thigh. It’s overwhelming; the intimacy of your interlocked fingers paired with the filthy onslaught of his mouth. 

He speeds up as he adds another finger, hitting the spot that no one except you has reached before. You never knew it could feel this amazing. You thought you were doomed to a life of bad sex. 

Apparently, you just needed Joel to show you differently. And you are so glad he proved you wrong. 

Joel hooks his fingers inside you bringing you closer and closer to that peak you’ve been dying to reach. You’re squeezing his fingers, both the ones inside you and the ones interlaced with yours. 

“Joel I-I’m close,” you manage to choke out, mind foggy from the intense pleasure. 

He sucks on your clit, hard and you’re coming, entering a euphoric plane of existence. You’re floating, body trembling, coming harder than you’ve ever come before. 

Joel slows his fingers and removes his mouth from your pussy, beard glistening with your release, gently bringing you back to reality. He keeps your fingers locked with his, grounding you in the present.

The orgasmic fog clears from your brain, regaining awareness of your surroundings when you feel how drenched your lower half is. Like, really drenched. You lift your head from the armrest and look down and you’re appalled by the scene. 

You fucking squirted. Everywhere. 

On yourself, on the couch, on Joel. His beard is soaked completely, to the point it’s dripping down his chin. He’s just as stunned as you are. 

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry, fuck I-” you’re scrambling to get off the couch and Joel grabs your arm, stopping you in your tracks. 

“What’re you sorry for? That was so fuckin’ hot, sweetheart.” 

“I-I didn’t know I could do that…”

“Oh yeah? First time ever squirtin’?

“Yeah, the first time anyone else has made me come… like, ever.” 

His gaze goes dark. 

You get the feeling that he’s just getting started with you. 

And just like your cookies, he’d never have enough. 

THE END

[rayllum-smutember]

(banner by @raayllum!)

Welcome to the Rayllum Sandwich Smutember blog! Throughout the month of September, we'll be celebrating our love for Callum and Rayla as a ship and as characters by exploring physical intimacy between them through all types of fan content. Whether you prefer your "sandwiches" sweet or spicy or somewhere inbetween, we hope you'll join us to celebrate!

See below for more information:

Who can participate?

All who are interested are welcome to participate!

Given the nature of the event, we ask that anyone who is uncomfortable with NSFW content (minors or otherwise) curate their online experience by choosing not to participate or engage. In fact, you can block this blog or the tag #rayllumsmutember2024 to avoid content you do not wish to see! Remember--don't like; don't read!

What can I post?

All types of fan content are encouraged! We anticipate fanfic, fanart, meta, edits, playlists...or anything else you can come up with! Not so sure about creating something yourself? Cheer on participants with comments, reblogs, and support!

All types of sexual content regarding Callum & Rayla are accepted as a part of this event. Please be sure--as always!--to appropriately tag your works with warnings for potentially triggering content so that readers can choose what fanworks they want to engage with. We especially ask that participants warn for AO3's major warning categories (graphic violence, major character death, rape/non-con, underage), if applicable, and strongly prefer kink content to be tagged as well.

Where do I post?

Post to tumblr and/or AO3 using the tag #rayllumsmutember2024 to participate.

When do I post?

Throughout the month of September! (Late posts are always welcome, too, of course!)

Why should I participate?

We here at Rayllum Smutember believe that our fandom experience should be free of shame, free of purity culture, and FULL of positivity! We aspire to be sex-positive, inclusive, and kind. Therefore, this is a pro-ship fan event. We support fan content of ALL sorts...but especially smutty Rayllum! 😉

How do I participate?

By creating any sort of spicy fanwork related to Rayllum! Check out our smut bingo game if you need some inspiration as we get read for Smutember!

Looking forward to a very sandwichy Rayllum Smutember here on tumblr with you all!

[sunflower-ozzy-online]

Laios NSFW Alphabet

I'm having trouble writing smut for Laios outright so here are some head canons in the form of a NSFW alphabet. These will be the basis of any fics I write going forward as well.

let me know if I missed any important tags.

Laios Touden/Reader

Additional Tags: Smut NSFW Alphabet Challenge Cock Warming Butt Plugs Anal Sex Pegging Sexual Roleplay Penis In Vagina Sex Sexual Content Oral Sex Cunnilingus Blow Jobs Monsterfucker Laios Touden Aftercare Food Kink Aphrodisiacs BDSM Service Top

Laios my sweet boy, you deserve so many more reader insert fics.

Laios NSFW Alphabet

slight vore mention but not enough to put as a tag.

Written mainly with a reader with a vagina in mind but should be inclusive to readers with penises.

Receiving- If it was early in your relationship, he would possibly ask for reassurance or if there was anything he could change for next time. He would get more confident and better at reading your needs as he gets more experienced.

A = Aftercare (what they are like after sex)

Giving- Depending on if the session was intense or not his aftercare would differ as well. If you need specific aftercare, be sure to tell him, he’s not going to pick up on hints. For best results discuss needs BEFORE sex. He would be very open to what you suggest and make sure to remember your needs after a lil breather. Without a prior discussion he would check on how you were feeling and get snacks and some water to replenish afterwards.

Yours- Have you SEEN the orc panel of him talking about the chiefs’ wives????? He loves someone who is soft and chubby especially if they have a nice round butt, pillowy chest, and soft tummy. No matter what size you are he would love the place where your spine meets your hips for some reason. He always places his hand there while walking through a crowded place trying to keep track of you and not get overstimulated in crowds.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and their partner’s)

Theirs – He loves his arms and hands. How strong they are after he has trained for so long to become strong enough to swing his sword and protect those he cares about. He loves to watch them enter you, paying attention to how your fluids coat them.

He may compare your taste to different monsters he’s tasted absentmindedly, you knew what you were getting into.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Theirs- his cum is thick and not too watery. He doesn’t cum an unreasonable amount, but it is more than average. He does have an above average amount of precum, almost as soon as he gets hard his poor cock starts leaking in excitement. I don’t know how to explain it but his cum is a little muskier than the average. WOULD DEFINITELY want to test how different foods affect how it tastes once he finds out that it’s a thing. At first, he would do it by himself, tasting it after he jerks off or secretly after he came on you. Once he has gotten more comfortable, he will bring it up to you, seeing if you are into his little experiment. If you weren’t then he would try to eat food that he thinks makes it taste better before asking for head/ or more often. IF YOU DO, he will repeat his experiments and see which food made it taste better to you. He would then ask if you wanted to.

Yours/ semen- he would be so upset if you wouldn’t let him taste your cum, but he would accept it. If you do, he licks up every drop he can if it's on him or you. Before he puts it in his mouth, he would mess with it slightly to feel its thickness.

Yours/ slick (once again idk what to say) –He will lap at you every time he has the chance (with permission of course) He would go for the kiss after going down on you so be sure to let him know if that is not something you’re into. Instead of wiping his mouth afterwards he would be very gross about it and lick it off of himself, not wanting to miss any of it.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

As much as he tells you he doesn’t want to have sex in the dungeon it is one of his secret fantasies. Something he prefers to just play out in his head than ever wish into real life. The idea of seeing you fucked by one of the monsters in front of him while he watches gets him so hard so fast, as well as him being pleasured by a monster while you watch. Or ideally you both being simultaneously pleasured by a dryad or the like.

 He worries that one day he will be a victim of nightmares and then while they are being cooked the group sees his wildest sexual fantasies play out in the steam. While it haunts his dreams it also makes him aroused.

He is not very experienced honestly although he had a fiancée previously, I don’t see him wanting to have sex outside of a relationship, and not having any previous relationships where he felt comfortable enough to have sex, including his previous engagement which I think was probably arranged. He knows about sex in a very scientific way, maybe reading a smut book that had sirens or succubae in it mistaking them for genuine monster resource books. He finished reading it and secretly kept it with him and rereads it occasionally.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they are doing?)

He ideally wants to look at you during sex so missionary, cowgirl, and the like are his go to. He likes the amount of control he has in doggy style, but he doesn’t like not being able to see and touch you as freely as he wants to. He would love putting you in a mating press, getting so close to you and observing your facial expressions thrusting deep into you while having access to your clit/ dick.

He knows the simple stuff but anything further you're either going to have to teach him or tell him to research it, which he will be very open to.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

He would love for you to ride his face though, letting his tongue reach deep inside you hand on your hips pulling you down so you are as close as possible.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

For someone with a dick/ strap, he would want to ride you, taking it at his own pace. If he was in a particularly submissive mood, then he would want to be in a sudo-spooning position with his top leg hitched up to his chest to you could reach deeper into him, your chest pressing into him, arm reaching around to play with him as you thrust.

In the beginning he takes it very seriously, as if he is completing a task, trying to make you feel good. As he gains more confidence, he would begin to be a little bit goofier, making jokes or observations as he thinks of them. He would love to playfully bite you while you’re concentrating to get you out of your own head a bit.

For his partner he would definitely prefer them to have hair down there vs. being cleanly shaven. He wants to smell you, he will tell you that to your face if you ask if he cares.

H = Hair (how well-groomed are they? Does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He tends to be well-shaven and groomed upstairs due to the fact that he doesn’t want to look like his dad, naturally leaning toward being unkempt. But downstairs where he typically doesn’t pay attention it would be up to his sexual partner, if you have it a way you like it, he would try to keep it that way, just genuinely not having a preference. His pubes are slightly darker than his head hair, and on the straighter and thicker side.

In a way, he can be kinda scientific at the start. Noting what you like, what you don’t that it doesn’t lead to much intimacy. As he gets more familiar or heated, he will be very intimate and vulnerable. He will compliment you and whisper sweet things to you. He wants to be close to you, letting your souls mix together and breathe the air from your lungs, wanting to consume you in anyway he can.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? The romantic aspect)

 After you two meet and he started having feelings for you he would start getting boners just from your presence, if he wasn’t clear on his crush yet it would be so confusing for him “is this a side effect of a monster, or magic in the dungeon?” Not wanting them to interfere with his focus he would either ignore them, or if he couldn’t he would quickly get off.

J = Jack off (masturbation head canon)

Before you he would only masturbate as a stress reliever whenever he was especially pent up. Though that would be very rare.

After you two get together but before you had sex he would jerk off, feeling hot thinking of you and feeling a little ashamed.

After you first had sex, he would tell you almost immediately if he got hard and ask if you wanted to have sex. He would prefer to handle it with you but would be satisfied with a quick self-care session, thinking of you and being disappointed it didn’t feel the same. Thinking about how he was so spoiled now, in a positive way.

Bondage – both on him and his partner- especially suspension sex where his partner is suspended.

 

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Monster fucking (obviously)

Dom/Sub dynamics -He’s a service dom-leaning switch and he enjoys the structure and rules this type of sex lends itself to. He would want to use safe words even outside of BDSM sessions.

Sexual eating- like eating off of someone or feeding his partner/ his partner feeding him.

Cock warming- he is so touch-starved after years of being socially isolated especially romantically.

Light Impact play- this goes with the BDSM aspects- he doesn’t want to hurt his partner that much but if they are into it, he would be very willing. He likes it on himself when combined with sensory deprivation, giving into his partner completely. He loves the tingles on the skin it leaves after the impact though anything more he would be averse to. He would want you to feed him while blindfolded too, guessing what you’re feeding him.

 Roleplay- he would love multiple types of roleplaying but be prepared he does not half-ass his roleplaying and it would be a turn off if you did too.

Aphrodisiacs- especially if it’s related to monsters/ made from monsters. He naturally has a fairly low sex drive and would be interested in the type of desperation and intensity they offer.

Sensory deprivation- as mentioned before, especially if it accompanied with impact play. He likes the idea of completely trusting someone and being at their will.

Pegging/ Anal on him- he wants to explore all types of pleasure with you so he would try it once, then become really into it, the feeling of being so full of you intoxicates him.

Anal on someone with a vagina- similar to above he wants to explore all types of sexual things with you, though he would prefer being inside your pussy. He thinks using butt plug for you is a perfect answer. (Bonus get matching but plugs and he would swoon.) If you don’t like it he would be willing to live with out it.

Overstimulation- both giving and receiving.

Not necessarily a kink but he would want to be sexually stimulated/ sexually stimulate you while cooking.

Lactation

Nipple play

Vore- mainly in theory I don’t wanna explain.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

He doesn’t like degradation. Giving or receiving. If it’s something you really like the furthest, he would go would be name calling like “his slut” or “his whore’.  Same with him receiving it.

At your place. He lives with his sister and probably wouldn’t move until married or…. Other things. So, he would prefer not to risk his sister walking in or telling her not to come home while you're over. He would also be down for renting out somewhere like a hotel or a private room at a bathhouse.  If possible, his favorite place would be someplace pretty in nature with no risk of being caught. Feeling free in nature, taking pleasure in each other’s bodies.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

He for sure gets turned on by eating certain monsters, or just seeing them. If you were open to it, he would talk about them and what he likes about them with you during foreplay. Other things would be you displaying public affection for him verbally. He wouldn’t be a big fan of public physical displays of affection more than handholding or a chaste kiss but if you tell him, you love him or compliment him in public then he would get very excited. He loves it when you make it clear you aren’t ashamed of him.

N = No (something they would not do, turn offs)

Because it would be possible in universe, he would not want to kill you and bring you back to life. IDK why I feel like this should be stated, he also doesn’t like it if/when you risk your life for him.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Prefers to give, but we knew this already. Would want to give you oral almost every day, plus he's good at it. Paying attention to what you like and staying on the course. He would do THE MOST to make you feel good, he is somehow more verbal while giving oral than receiving it. Outside of the absolutely lewd clicking and licking sounds, he would whine while giving you oral and would orgasm untouched just by how excited it makes him.

When receiving oral he would enjoy it as well but wouldn’t ask for it outright much more preferring if it’s something you initiate. He would have his resting bitch face for the start, focusing on you and how you look. After it gets hotter and more intense, he would let out little whines and try to stop his hips from thrusting into your mouth. He wants so bad to be good for you. He would only pull his gaze from you as he gets close to his height, trying not to climax before you are ready. He likes when you pay attention the veins running up his cock, he is not a fan of making you gag, though he does take pleasure in the sensations it sends running up his cock, it makes him feel bad that you may be uncomfortable.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

He tends to start slow and deep, thoroughly stretching you and letting you feel every inch of him. He wants to please you so he will try to do what you want but left to do what he wants he is honestly a little all over the place. He will speed up out of nowhere being rougher and sloppy as if he just can’t get enough.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)4

He does not want to risk being seen in public. He knows he’s not very socially aware and doesn’t want to make anyone dislike him by putting them in an awkward position.

Not a big fan of quickies. If you're in the dungeon and you need him, he will take you aside and take care of your needs up against a wall, after he has checked for traps.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? Do they take risks? etc.)

You would have to bring up anything risky for him to try out right, he will not pick up on cues you drop. Even then he would be on the safer side of sex, willing to indulge in many things as long as he is prepared and there is a safe way to do it. He is more afraid of hurting you than himself honestly, especially if you want to have sex in the dungeon. He knows that you can be healed but he doesn’t want to take the risk of you being seriously hurt or worse eaten and digested.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

As long as he remains untouched, he can make you feel good for hours. Whether he’s edging you or overstimulating you he will go for as long as you will let him. But if you touch him or let him in on you, he will last one round or two at most. He gets so into it and drunk on your touch that he’s almost tipsy afterwards and will want to just be by you after he orgasms.

After you he would be so into toys, mainly for you and to help you feel good. Though he would be so excited to try a monster inspired dildo/ sheath for you to fuck him with. Would want to use a monster based aphrodisiac with you, consensually. Also, if you got him a flesh light/dildo that was molded after you to take with him when he had to leave, he would probably bust upon seeing it. He would be too shy to use it in the dungeon and would probably leave it at home, afraid of losing it or having one of his party members see it. He would use it when Falin wasn’t home, and he couldn’t see you though.

T = Toys (do they own toys? Do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Before you he may have bought some sort of self-sex powder made from a monster, but he was too scared to use it. Other than that, he didn’t really indulge in himself that much.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

When in control he tends to be on the quieter side maybe like 30-50% volume, mainly small grunts and whines will escape. He will try to dirty talk or talk you through it, complimenting you and encouraging you.

He's not big on teasing, not verbally at least. He will want to make you horny in public and then do nothing about it until you both are at your place. But when its time he wants to get to the pleasure in a reasonable amount of time, letting the tension and excitement build but not being cruel about it. He has some self-worth issues so he gets off on you telling him how much you want him so he will tease you a little bit until you tell him how desperate you are for him.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

After you get into a stable and official relationship, he would introduce roleplay. As I mentioned before roleplay with him can be intense but one scenario he likes and can be lax about is roleplaying that you are the spouse of some wealthy or high up person and are all alone and new to the island and he is your security guard/ knight your spouse sent to protect you on your travels. You meet in a tavern, and you tell him how lonely you are, that your spouse rarely pleases you. He tells you it would be wrong of him to take advantage of his boss’s trust but that he desires you as well. You would have saved up money to rent a nice room out for the night and you would rush to the room still in character letting your pretend yearning come to a climax.

When you are in control, particular if you are pegging him/ topping him he increases so much, the whining and moaning is almost every other breath for him, the volume level increases with the longer you’re fucking him and the closer he gets to his orgasm. Please overstimulate him he will turn unintelligent and insensible so fast, though he can’t handle it for very long before he drops.

W = Wild card (a random head canon for the character)

After this one scenario he would still call you by your honorable title out in public or in intimate moments.

X = X-ray (let us see what’s going on under those clothes)

He gets hard fairly often when he’s around you or thinks of you but that doesn’t mean that every time, he’s hard he wants to have sex or be touched. I think he is on the lower end of the sex drive when it comes to him wanting to be touched but on the higher end when it come to wanting to please you. I also head-canon him as greysexual so for most of his life he didn’t experience a lot of sexual attraction to people, nor did he want to satisfy himself in that way very often. He gets pleasure from tasting you and making you get off, but it isn’t necessarily just sexual pleasure.

Listen, Laios is an average man physically. That part of his draw. He is about 6 inches hard and has a slightly above-average girth. He is a grower and not a shower, though while soft he is a bit closer to his full size than average. His dick is slightly paler than the rest of him, save for his pink tip which gets darker in hue the more he gets aroused.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Related to the stamina thing, if he orgasmed, he will be out within like thirty minutes, less if you let him remain in you or you stay in him. If he just pleasured you, he would wait until you fell asleep first before letting himself drift off.

He will get very horny sometimes, don’t get me wrong, there will be times where for a full week you would have to use a crow bar to pry him off of you. It just varies, he’s getting used to being comfortable in his sexuality.

Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

Masterlist