#i should stop getting into death games and being sad the characters die

[warriorlyy]

Yttd main game 2 spoilers ig‼️

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Ok so i really want to write a kanna lives route but sou also lives because damn it i want my two favs to lives

Itll be yk something something sara finds sou slumped over but he hasn’t expired yet bc i dont want him to. But while sara is shaking him awake (cuz hes passed out still just not dEAD) she awakens the Joe AI and is too surprised by that to realise sou isnt actually dead

Sou half wakes up from being shaken and blearily watches sara talk to joe or smth thinking like “am i dreaming???? Tf?????”

After joe ai sara somehow realises sous like not dead

Commotion and more ppl come including safalin and sou passes out b4 he hears that safalin isnt gonna finish the job

Im trying to figure out a reason *why* thatd be tho. Like mayhaps midori? The only issue there is that he didnt seem to care that much in the og emotion route just a “boohoo… anyways!” So im thinking maybe the game makers or whatever thought itd be funny seeing where this glitch goes and morbidly enjoy watching sou suffer or smth

ANYWAYS the matching game or whatever its called, see i *could* pair sou w midori but that means hell spend less time w everyone else…. And i want this whole thing to be abt sou somehow bonding w everyone bc DAMN im a sucker for found family

So sou and kanna r with kuramada bc we love him

I think id write pov shifts as well bc why not anyways

[chromunist]

I actually cannot imagine how solas fans and especially solavellans ACTUALLY think that solas tearing down the veil and getting what "he wants" is the best move for his character.

Like WHAT?! Have we played the same games? The entire point is literally that that is NOT what he actually wants, it is something he feels compelled to do because he is chained by his identity as the savior of the Elves and all the thousands of years of fighting in vain. This is his Dinanshiral (he said so himself); not a good thing actually, the path of death. He hates himself for not being strong enough to stop, he WANTS to be stopped. The inquisitor literally says this in the game, it is not subtext. He wants to be solas, defined by wisdom, who offers guidance and assists people, he does not want to be taking direct action, it is against his nature. Solas is sad, tearing down the veil is the mission that is fueling that, it will not fix him LOL.

Also it apparently needs to be pointed out that he is always referring to this as a "restoration" so sorry but no, tearing down the veil is not a metaphor for radical social reform, it is representative of a resistance to change itself. Resistance to the acceptance of the changing flow and imperfections of yourself, your life, and your identity. How dangerous it is to tie your identity to your performance. Solas wants to create an unchanging utopia and he is unable to accept the ever fluid and imperfect mortal thedas. He is not the rebel-who-went-too-far archetype sorry. He has become corrupt. Is his end goal nice and worth the mortal deaths? Arguably yes, but does that mean he should do it, that he actually wants to ? That it is the right place for his story to end. NO. Why? Because thats not who he is. Fen harel is not who he is, you must bring him back to solas. He wants to stop and offer wisdom, not fight a war and cause thousands to die. He is tired, he is broken. He desperately clings to his cause because he wrongly thinks he will be able to forgive himself if he makes it all mean something. But it wont; the whole point of the game is that it wont. Nothing will make him forgive himself, will take away the guilt. He has to learn to accept that he cannot be the perfect savior, that he is a person, that he is allowed to accept the forgiveness and love from the people who care about him (how rook escapes the prison where he could not; how he does not end up in the prison in atonement). He would never learn his lesson and never have peace if he tore down the veil. He would die alone, hated and sad; his worst fear.

There is something so so beautiful about a god who made the world by mistake, who in desperation and agony over a broken, unfair world coming from his actions, desperately tried to erase that mistake even if it meant its destruction. Coming to terms with his failures, and accepting the imperfect, changed, world he wrought and dedicating his immortal life to its protection. Stepping down from his place of responsibility (which he never truly wanted) over the state of existence and allowing mortals a chance to change and improve the world themselves.

[xoxoavenger]

Make It Out

pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, bestfriend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: They’re gonna take down Vecna this time. But before they do, Y/N has to chose between going with her best friend Eddie or her boyfriend Steve, and she has to live with the fact that not all of them will make it out alive.

word count: 7956

warnings: follows the events of ST4 finale so major character death and canon typical injuries, gun shot wound, lotsa blood, lotsa angst with some fluff

masterlist

"I'll understand if you want to go with Eddie." Steve said, keeping his gaze on the road in a way that meant he 100% wanted her to stay with him.

"How're your bites?" Y/N asked, casually deflecting the conversation. He had finally been able to put on a shirt and get some shoes, but Y/N knew that there was still a lot of blood underneath. Blood she had wanted to clean, to take care of his wounds, but there just hadn't been time.

Also, Steve hadn't allowed her to even look at them.

"Oh, just great. Ya know, I wanted to lose weight anyway." Steve joked, but Y/N didn't think it was funny that the demobats had literally ate at his flesh.

"We should go to the hospital." She said for the billionth time. She'd been trying to get Steve to go to the hospital ever since they got back.

"Y/N," Steve sighed and didn't finish his sentence, lifting one of his hands off the wheel to rub his forehead. He didn't have time to go to the hospital. Max was going to die, and if Max died then a lot of other people were also going to die and Steve wasn't going to waste precious time sitting in the ER for a couple stitches.

"I'm serious, Steve!" She lowered her voice as Eddie and Dustin looked up, realizing the couple was fighting. "I know you want to be the hero, but for once, can you please look after yourself?" She begged, sadness lacing her words as her throat constricted at all the memories of Steve being beat up. The newest one, the image of Steve being feasted on by bats, made her heart hurt every time she closed her eyes - it was as if the scene were painted onto her eyelids.

"Is that why you won't go with Eddie?" Steve asked, and Y/N let the silence draw out as her answer.

She would never admit that she wanted to go with Steve to stop him from sacrificing himself, but in that moment he knew that's exactly what she was thinking. Robin and Nancy were good friends, but Y/N was the only one who could stop him from giving his life on a whim - which scared him, because Steve, if he was honest, was the hero type. He took the beatings to keep his friends safe. From the moment that he was thrown into this mess, he knew that he would do anything to protect his friends from these creatures that just would not stop.

Unless, of course, Y/N was there with him. That may make him hesitate - or it may make him more reckless. It would throw off his game, make him second guess moves just to keep her extra safe, because if she died and he didn't he would never forgive himself.

However, he knew of one other person who felt the same way about Y/N - just without the romantic part. Steve knew that her idiot best friend, Eddie Munson, would protect her and Dustin, no matter what the 'freak' claimed. And when it came to Y/N, Steve was selfish. He needed her safe.

"You're going with Eddie." Steve repeated, but this time, it wasn't a suggestion or a question. It was final. And although just a minute ago he wanted her to go with him, they had both realized that she would see right through him if he was going to sacrifice himself.

"Uh, no." Y/N scoffed, not realizing she was getting louder. "I will go with whoever I chose." She crossed her arms, fire filling her head. How dare Steve think he could make that choice for her.

"You're going with Eddie or you're babysitting Erica. Those are your two options." Steve said as he pulled over in a field.

"Hey!" Erica yelled from the back, only hearing the last part of their conversation. At this point, everyone was shamelessly listening.

"You are not my keeper, Steve." Y/N was practically seething at this point. She was angry that Steve didn't want her to tag along, especially if it was the end of the world. She stood up, knowing that if she stayed in the van any longer she would probably begin to cry tears of frustration, and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Y/N!" Steve called as she opened the door and walked out, glad that she was able to make it a couple steps before the tears started really falling. They weren't all the way up the hill, so she trudged the rest of the way to sit at the top with her back facing the van. They could leave and she would only be able to turn and watch.

She sat there for awhile, letting her tears flow. Part of her liked this, being alone, but part of her wanted to be with Steve. Chances were, someone is gonna die, and even in the unlikely event no one does, they could still fail and the world could end. She heard footsteps, and she wiped her tears, not knowing who was coming up on her.

"Y/N," At Max's voice, Y/N instantly felt regret creep up her spine. Here she was, crying on a hill, when Max had one foot in the grave. "Can I sit here?" Max stood next to her, and she nodded, watching the younger girl take a seat.

"How're you holding up?" Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

"As good as you can expect when an evil demon is trying to take over your brain and kill you." Max shrugged with a light smile, and Y/N's heart tugged. Max was so young, she didn't deserve this.

"So, great, I'd imagine." Y/N joked, smiling when Max let out a small chuckle.

"Listen, I-I didn't want to say anything in the van, but," Max began picking the grass, not looking at Y/N. "I want you to come with Lucas and I to the house." Max finally looked up, and Y/N's heart completely broke. She looked scared out of her mind, and Y/N swore that if she somehow ever found Vecna herself, he wouldn't be making it much longer than a couple minutes.

"Max," Y/N wanted to reach out, but with Max's arms around her knees it was hard to figure out a good place.

"Steve didn't send me to ask, if that's what you're thinking." Max quickly rushed out, and Y/N gave a sad smile. Steve wouldn't send anyone to talk to her for him, he'd do it himself. "I just, I want someone there, who knows what they're doing." Max looked up at Y/N, who had furrowed brows. Why did Max think Y/N knew what she was doing?

"I'm not sure I follow," Y/N led off, voicing her thoughts.

"Well, you can drive us to the house, which will help. And Lucas is great, and I want him there still. But I need someone else there, someone to comfort me when I come out, someone who will stay calm." Max looked away before taking a deep breath. "And if I don't make it, I want someone there to comfort Lucas - not just his sister."

"Max," This time, Y/N felt dread as well as sadness flood through her. She remembered what it was like to be Max's age - she had a huge crush on Steve, but she obviously couldn't tell her best friend Eddie, who would have never approved at the time. Eddie wouldn't find out about her crush until three years later, when she let it slip that she had made out with Steve at Melissa's party. And even though Eddie didn't approve and he wasn't pleased, he let Y/N and Steve have their fun, ready to pick up the pieces if it ever failed.

There were some nights when Eddie was sure they were over, some nights when he thought about going to Steve's house and smashing a glass over his head to try and make him understand that Y/N wasn't the kind of girl you played with. But nevertheless, Y/N and Steve were still together, her and Eddie were still best friends, and Eddie had never hurt Steve (even if he had thought about it multiple times).

But that was the biggest thing she had to deal with. And now - now the biggest thing should have been college. She should be across the country right now at a nice university. But she couldn't leave Steve and Eddie, especially after they found out what was going on in Hawkins.

"Of course I will be there for you." Y/N scooted closer and put a comforting hand on Max's shoulder. "I will be there for you every time you ask me, whether it's something like this or if it's because you can't find a tampon and you don't want to bike to the store." She smiled when Max grinned, looking up and leaning closer. "Hell, after all this, you can move in with Steve and I." Y/N felt her hurt burst at Max's face.

"Really?" Max asked, half joking and half being serious.

"Yeah, totally." Y/N turned, finally looking at the group. Most of them were behind the van, obscured from view, but Steve was on the edge of everything, arms crossed and body faced so that he could keep an eye on Y/N and Max as well as the rest of the group. Y/N felt her heart float as she looked at the man, letting her hand drop as Max turned.

"What do you think Steve will say?" Max asked, a small smile on her face as she thought about living with the people who had filled in for her in the way her family never had.

"Oh, he'll agree." Y/N nodded, watching Steve turn and look at them even if he couldn't hear them. "We just need to convince him."

~

"I'm a little mad you're not coming with me." Eddie said, all geared up. They were about to leave, just saying their final goodbyes.

"If I went into the Upside Down, how could Steve be the hero?" Y/N joked, trying to take the edge off of their somber goodbye.

"Yeah," Eddie chuckled, looking around as Lucas and Max said their goodbyes. "I guess I'll just have to play the hero. For Dustin, of course." He smiled, and Y/N tried to smile too. It was watery, and tears were quickly spilling out of her eyes, even though she wasn't blinking.

"Please don't try and be a hero, Eddie." Y/N whispered, looking up at her best friend. He sighed as he met her gaze, tears in his eyes that he would never shed. She knew she was being selfish, but she didn't care in that moment. If Eddie or Steve died while she was sitting around, she would never be able to forgive herself.

"Come on, Y/N. I've been running from things since 1966. Do you really think I'm gonna stop now?" He put his arm around her and pulled her into a hug, where she cried into his shoulder. "Besides, someone's gotta keep your boyfriend safe while he's doing the heroic shit." Y/N let out a little laugh, mostly just to make Eddie feel better. Her stomach was torn with sadness and dread, and she wanted to go back to a couple days ago when her, Eddie, and Steve had all gotten high. They weren't worrying about crazy demons then, and she didn't want to worry about crazy demons now. She wanted to go home.

"Promise me you'll come back." Y/N whispered, pulling away from the hug to look at him.

"Of course," Eddie squeezed her once more before looking over at Steve, who was staring at Y/N. "I think you should probably say goodbye to your boyfriend now." Y/N let go of Eddie and turned to see Steve, who gave her a small smile. Just the thought of losing Steve, of having to say goodbye to him, made Y/N cry even harder.

Steve must've seen when she thought about it, about the fact that they were really saying goodbye, and instantly rushed over to her, pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly, squeezing his own eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears.

"It's not really a goodbye," He whispered to her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head so that he didn't have to remove her from his arms at all. "I'll see you in a couple hours." He sounded so sure, so calm, that it made Y/N breathe better.

"You better." She muttered out, pulling back only enough to be able to look at him.

"I'll even be able to hear you, in the Upside Down. I'll be keeping an eye out for you." He moved one hand to cup her face, the other staying put around her waist. She moved both of her hands to the sides of his neck, eyes welling with tears once more.

"But who's going to look out for you?" She whispered this part, speaking softly so that Nancy and Robin didn't hear. It's not like she didn't trust them to take care of Steve, but she knew that Steve would sneak himself to be in harms way before either of them even knew he was in danger. And by the time they figured it out, Steve could already be dead.

"I'm going to be fine, sweetheart." Steve was starting to choke up, so his voice was soft and high pitched as he moved the hand on her face to push her hair back. "Do you hear me? I'm going to come back to you." He didn't let her respond, instead kissing her like he would never see her again.

Because maybe it was the last kiss he would have, the last one he would share with her.

"I'm coming back." He whispered as he pulled apart. He knew his face was wet from her tears, because his tears were trapped. He wouldn't let her see him cry.

So, he gave her one more kiss, one last squeeze, one last 'I love you,' and then watched her turn around. She was taking his car to drive Lucas, Erica and Max to the mansion, and as she pulled out Steve wanted to tell her to stop, to go home so that she was safe.

She would never listen anyway.

~

Out of all the bad ideas they'd ever had, this was probably the worst. But, it was the only way to stop Vecna, the only way to save Hawkins - because apparently that fell on them now.

Y/N had heard the car pull up, and she immediately looked out the window. Erica was no longer at the lookout, and she realized quickly that it was Jason Carver's car.

Fuck.

"Lucas, you stay here, okay?" Y/N said, rushing to the door. It was too late, however, because Jason was walking in anyway.

"Jason?" Lucas asked, obviously confused as to why his teammate was stalking him.

"Leave. Right now." Y/N stood in front of Lucas, making it so that if Jason wanted to get past her he would have to physically harm her.

"Well, if it isn't King Steve's little pet." Jason spat out, trying to get into Y/N's head. She simply crossed her arms, still staring at the blonde man. "Or has the freak possessed you now?" That made Y/N pissed. The fact that Eddie was risking his life for a town that would never respect him made her blood boil.

"Jason, I would rather be actually possessed than spend another second in your presence." Y/N tilted her head, taking a deep breath and knowing this wouldn't end well. "So, you can either leave, or you can feel what it's like to be punched by a girl." Her smile was deadly, but as Jason glanced over her shoulder at Max, he had made up his mind.

"I'm not letting you freaks kill someone else." Jason began to move past her, so Y/N swung the best she could at his face, catching him off guard.

Not too off guard, however, because it only took a second for him to recover and pull out a gun.

"Hey!" Lucas yelled as Y/N lifted her hands, backing up. She looked over at Max, who was still in a trance, and then back at Jason, who was unwavering.

"Jason," Y/N muttered, her legs feeling numb from shock. Her heart was pounding.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lucas whispered under his breath before getting louder. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this, man." They were now side by side, hands up and keeping an eye on the gun.

"Yeah, I hope you're right." Jason told them.

"Wait," Y/N spoke out of breath, heart racing. She thought about if Steve could hear what was going on, if he was in the house. She hoped he wasn't, that he wouldn't hear if she was shot.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" Jason asked, stepping forward.

"No, no." Lucas shook his head in tandem with Y/N, who was afraid she was going to pass out from stress at this point.

"Turn around." Jason motioned with the gun, and Y/N shut her eyes tightly.

"What?" Lucas muttered, setting Jason off.

"Turn around!" He yelled, and Y/N quickly did as he said, eyes still closed.

"Okay, okay. Relax, relax." It was obvious that Lucas was just as stressed as Y/N was, and he turned around slowly.

"And put down your flashlight." Jason ordered loudly. Y/N did as she was told, tears beginning to fall out of her eyes.

"Steve, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're here," Y/N started off. She had never been this afraid for her life - of all the things going on in Hawkins, all the messed up supernatural shit, she was going to be killed by a teenager with a gun. "But, if you are, I want you to know I love you." She was whispering, hoping Jason couldn't hear her.

"Stop muttering and empty your pockets!" Jason yelled, and Y/N reached into her empty ones, turning them inside out to show they weren't full. Random shit fell out of Lucas', and when Y/N spared a glance at him she saw he was shaking. "Now, here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna back away to the top of the stairs there. Then I'll watch as you wake her up from whatever the hell this is." Jason ordered, and Y/N just shook her head.

"We can't." She said, trying to keep her voice from shaking or breaking. Lucas turned around to face Jason, and Y/N risked the same.

"Jason, if we wake her too soon, we all die." Lucas was speaking as if Jason was a child, but the blonde still wasn't understanding. The gun was still pointed toward them, and they were still without a plan.

"No. If you don't wake her up right now, you die, Sinclair." Jason threatened, his gun solely on Lucas now. Jason pulled the safety off, and Y/N felt her heart leap to her throat.

That's when the stupid idea popped into her head. And boy, was it stupid.

"I'm sorry, Steve." She whispered, just in case he was there. Because if she made it through this, if Steve heard what she was about to do, she would be waking up with his nightmares for awhile.

And then she dove at Jason.

She had crouched down a bit, so his first shot went over her head. However, she wasn't as close as she needed to be, and his second shot skimmed the far side of her left leg. She groaned, but still went to hit him, able to knock the gun out of his hand. Jason took the time to hit her, not holding back. His punch hit right on her cheekbone and temple, and she felt herself already begin to be dizzy. One hit wasn't enough, however, because he hit her again, in the same spot, and that knocked her out cold.

~

When she woke up, there was extreme pain in her leg and Lucas was screaming. She was still pretty out of it, but in a couple seconds she could also see Erica in front of her face.

"Y/N?" Her voice was swimming around her head, as if they were all emerged under water. "Steve is coming, he knows you're hurt." Erica was holding Y/N's head gently, since the left side was a giant bruise. She could feel her eye almost swollen shut, and her skull ached immediately.

"Steve?" Y/N asked, hearing an ambulance in the background. If Steve was on his way, and Erica was in here with them, that meant that it was over. "Did we win?" She asked hopefully. She couldn't see Erica's face very well, but she knew the silence and the small sniffles weren't a good sign.

Suddenly, it made sense that Lucas was crying.

"Shit," Y/N tried to sit up, but it felt like her body was light and her head was heavy. Her wrist was aching, but not as much as her leg. She had to look down to remember that she had been shot, and she couldn't get up. All she could see was the fuzzy outline of Lucas holding Max's body.

"Do you hear that?" Erica muttered, looking around. Y/N tried to focus on staying alert, listening as best she could. She heard the ambulance outside, but nothing else. It didn't take long before she heard the ground split, however - well , felt it at least. She turned to see Lucas moving Max away and watched the ground fall beneath them. She watched as it split Jason in half, and it made her heart race. They had officially lost.

She felt her heart fall all the way to the Upside Down when she realized that Steve and Eddie weren't back.

"We have to go," Y/N grunted as she looked out the opening the wall, watching the crack continue to grow and destroy everything in it's path. She looked down to see the ambulance, broken apart, so it would be of no help to them.

"We can't go!" Lucas yelled, voice breaking. "Max, she's alive!" He begged, and Y/N felt tears come to her eyes.

"Lucas," She started quietly, pausing to wince as pain throbbed once more through her leg. She needed to get pressure on it now, or she wasn't going to make it. "If Max was alive, there wouldn't be a giant tear in the ground." Y/N wanted to curl up in Steve's arms and get high with Eddie and never ever thing about this again.

"She's not! You can feel her pulse!" Lucas argued, and Y/N sighed, eyes closing tightly. It hurt slightly due to the fact that her left eye was already swelling, but it took away from the pain in her leg just a little.

"We need to go, Lucas!" Erica said, and Y/N could hear the pain Erica was trying to hide.

"Erica, you have to help me." Y/N muttered, shedding her long sleeve shirt and leaving her in a camisole. She felt her wet skin, sweat, but she was cold - she knew this was a bad sign. "I need you to tie this as tight as you can around my leg." She fastened the shirt so that the thick part was around her wound. The pain of the fabric bruising against the open wound made her almost pass out, and she fell backwards slightly.

"Why?" Erica asked with a shaky breath, hands going to grab the sleeves of the discarded shirt.

"I can't do it," Y/N whispered as if that would explain everything, leaning back and taking a deep breath. "We don't have anything to gag me with, so I'm gonna scream. But you have to keep going, alright? We have to stop the bleeding." Erica looked scared out of her mind, and Y/N would have felt bad if she wasn't bleeding out.

God, she hoped she wasn't going to bleed out.

~

Meanwhile, Steve was biking as quickly as he could to Eddie's trailer, tears in his eyes. Erica had told him that Max was dead and Y/N had been shot before Jason knocked her out. Their plan didn't work, and now the only thing left to do was hold Y/N while the world ended.

"Steve!" Dustin's voice made Steve's heart drop, because why wasn't the kid in the trailer? What the hell was wrong with him and why didn't he listen? The group pulled off to where Dustin was yelling from, realizing too late why Dustin was on the ground.

"Oh God." Robin said softly behind him. For a moment, Steve wasn't sure what to do. It was obvious that Eddie was dead, that they couldn't help him. Eddie, the guy he thought was a freak in high school but had since become close friends with. His girlfriend's best friend. Dead.

Steve didn't think before he began biking again, feeling tears sting his eyes and his lungs practically collapsing. If he stopped, he was going to throw up, and he needed to get to Y/N, make sure she was okay.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Nancy asked, voice cracking as she dropped her bike. Steve dropped his bike, running up stairs, opening the gate and going into the trailer.

"Steve, we have to go back and help Dustin." Robin said as the girls followed him into trailer. Steve looked at the spot where the sheets used to be; their ticket out of there, gone.

"Where the hell are the sheets?" He asked, looking around. He found half of the sheets thrown on the ground and grabbed them, hoping they'd be long enough.

"Are you listening? We have to go help Dustin." Nancy went to grab his arm, and he just pushed her away.

"Help him what, Nance? We can't do anything for Eddie. My girlfriend is dying on the other side, and I need to help her." Steve's voice was cracking, his throat hurting on the inside and out. He quickly threw the short rope up, and realized it would only stick out a bit on the other side. He would have to jump down and somehow avoid the chair that was also sitting in the landing area.

"Help him bring back Eddie's body." Robin argued as Steve jumped up, beginning to climb.

"How?" Steve grunted as he pulled himself up, trying to ignore the aching throughout his whole body. His shoulders still stung every time he moved his arms, but his adrenaline was high. He had one mission. "How are we gonna get his body out of the Upside Down and then explain to everyone how he died?" Steve flipped over to the other side, trying to avoid the chair. He let out a grunt as he hit it against his knee before moving it out of the way and replacing it with a mattress for the girls.

"Steve! Seriously?" They yelled up to him. Part of Steve knew that they were right, that they shouldn't leave Eddie and Dustin and they had already lost, so there was no need to return to the real world any time soon. However, his rational thought was being taken over by the fact that his girlfriend was dying and if she survived, he would have to tell her that her best friend is dead.

"I have to check on Y/N." He said before taking off.

"Why did he leave?" Dustin cried out as he ran into the trailer.

"Y/N was shot. Erica said she was knocked out, that she got into a fight with Jason and he clocked her after he shot her leg." Robin said, her voice high and tight as she filled Dustin in.

"Shit," Dustin put his hands over his eyes, and the older girls could tell he was crying.

"I know you want to bring Eddie back, but Y/N really needs our help." Nancy said, also feeling torn. She knew that Eddie deserved to be taken out of the Upside Down, but Y/N was alone with Lucas and Erica and neither of them could take her to the hospital.

"We can't let her die too," The way Robin said it made Dustin let out a sob, and the girls felt their hearts break for him.

Nancy and Robin helped Dustin up the rope, then followed him so that they were all together.

"What is he doing?" Nancy asked as they walked out of the trailer, watching Steve run around.

"Steve!" Robin yelled out, going to help her best friend. Steve acted like he didn't hear Robin - maybe he didn't - and continued to look around. "Steve, what are you doing?" Their escape plan had been the bikes leaning against Eddie's trailer, but Steve seemed to be looking around.

"We need a car," His voice was so low that Robin could barely hear him, and she just shook her head.

"We don't have a car." She reminded him gently, but he sighed and finally stopped, looking at her. She realized in the dim light that he was crying, his face red and eyes puffy. "We have the bikes. We need to go try and meet them at the mansion. Then we'll have your car." Robin was trying not to cry, because she had to be strong for her best friend. She was sure as he stared at her that he was going to have a meltdown.

"Yes. The bikes." Steve nodded, going to the bikes where Dustin and Nancy were already picking up theirs.

"We're gonna get there. She's gonna make it." Nancy tried to soothe Steve, but he wasn't listening. He just grabbed his bike and began to go quickly, leaving the rest of them to catch up.

~

"Okay," Erica grabbed the sleeves of Y/N's thing sweater she had taken off, pulling tight as she crossed them to tie it around the older girl's thigh. Y/N let out a whimper, gritting her teeth in pain. Tears were falling down her cheeks as Erica tied the sleeves as tight as she could, and Y/N finally let out a scream, fingers scratching the wood floor as she tried to grab onto something.

"Fuck!" Y/N yelled out, head tossed back and eyes closed in pain.

"I'm so sorry," Erica was crying now too, trying not to pay attention to the fact that Y/N was screaming in pain and Lucas holding Max's body, still crying.

"It's okay," Y/N whimpered as Erica had finally finished. Her leg felt like it was on fire, her thigh under the wound was practically numb. She could feel the blood everywhere, and even if she couldn't the black spots and floaty feeling gave her an idea of how much blood she had lost and how much pain she was in. "We need to go," She finally said, opening her eyes and looking at everyone.

"How? Where are you gonna go?" Lucas asked, and when Y/N turned she realized he was right, Max was breathing even if her eyes were bleeding and her limbs were broken. Holy shit.

"You and Erica are going to carry Max down to Steve's car. Then we'll drive to the hospital." She said it as simply as if she were going to take them to the movies. The only difference was the breaking in her voice from the pain and screams.

"Who's gonna drive us?" Erica asked, confused about how this plan was going to work.

"Luckily," Y/N took a deep breath before getting up on her own, letting out a few whimpers as she did so. She made sure to keep her weight off her leg as she stood, but now that she was up the pain seemed to be radiating all the way up her leg. She grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut, fingers clenching so hard that her nails were causing divots. "You don't need two feet to drive," She tried to smile at the kids, because this was traumatizing and she was not going to pass out and potentially die in front of these kids.

And thus, her adrenaline kicked in.

There was no other way to describe it, the way she was able to walk down the stairs and make it all the way to Steve's car, only using the railing and a couple walls for help. She limped heavily, tears falling down her cheeks because even though she was hopped up on her adrenaline, the pain was still almost too much to bear. She was surprised to make it to the car, unlocking the doors quickly to let Lucas and Erica into the back with Max. She lowered herself into the drivers seat as quickly as possible, which was slow. Once she was sitting down, her leg seemed to kick up in pain, and she hit her head against the the seat header, biting her lip to try and keep from screaming. The pain in her face was minuscule compared to the way her entire leg was practically on fire now. The only reason she hadn't given up was that she had to get the kids to safety, and then she would see Eddie and Steve. Hopefully.

"Okay," She muttered to herself, trying to keep her eyes open as wide as she could. She put the car in drive and quickly pulled out and onto the road, trying not to move her affected leg much. She was glad it was her left leg, the one she didn't drive with, because then she wasn't sure what would happen.

"Y/N," Erica was right next to her, and when Y/N jolted she realized that she was falling out of consciousness while driving. Shit.

"I'm not gonna make it to the hospital," She muttered, braking and putting the car back into park. Her head felt so heavy, heavier than it had ever been, and she realized she was swaying as the pain was seeping out. She wasn't sure if her eyelids were closing or if black dots were enveloping her, but she knew she wasn't gonna last long. She had started shivering at some point, even though the heater was on in Steve's car.

Oh God, she was going to die in Steve's car.

"No, please, Y/N, just stay with us." Erica grabbed Y/N's shoulder, shaking when Y/N's eyes slipped close. They opened slowly, her head rolling against the seat and facing Erica.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, because she was. She just wanted to get the kids to safety. She hadn't been able to protect Max like she promised, but she wanted to at least get the younger girl to a hospital, give her a chance. She was just so exhausted, and her body was so heavy, and she had been trying to be alright for too long. She was fading fast, and unless somehow Erica and Lucas could get her to the hospital soon she knew she was a goner.

"They'll be here soon, Y/N, I promise, just, please don't go to sleep." Erica was begging, something she never did, which was how Y/N knew it was bad. She looked down to see her makeshift bandage almost soaked completely with blood, a terrible sign.

"You have to tell Steve I love him," Y/N's voice was weak, and it scared Lucas and Erica.

"Y/N, you have to get us to hospital!" Lucas pleaded, tears still in his eyes. He felt like he had been crying for years at this point, his throat hurting and his chest feeling tight.

"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered, eyes closing again. She was sure she was never going to open them again when Erica yelled out.

"They're here!" And then she put her hand on the horn, letting out a loud honk. Y/N didn't startle as much as open her eyes slightly once more. She was able to make out her friends across the street, running toward her and ditching the bikes they had stolen.

"Steve," Y/N muttered out, a smile on her face. At least she would see Steve before she died.

"Oh, fuck," Steve said as soon as he opened the driver door to see his girlfriend, sweat coating her body and bleeding out in his front seat. She was pale and shivering, and Steve wasn't even sure what to do. She had a large bruise on her face, and he could tell that her left eye would be almost swollen shut even if she was able to open it all the way now.

"Shit," Robin said from behind him, seeing the blood soaked shirt and the state Y/N was in.

"We have to get to the hospital!" Lucas yelled from the backseat, everyone turning to him.

"Okay, princess," Steve said softly as he assessed her. Her wound was on his side, and picking her up was going to cause her pain. He didn't know how else to get her to the very back however. "Robin, open the back. Nance, you'll drive." The girls both nodded, Robin rushing back to open the trunk.

"I got blood on your seat." Y/N muttered as Steve pushed her hair back, sweat making it stick to her forehead.

"I could not give less of a fuck," Steve told her, kissing her burning forehead before taking a deep breath. "This is gonna hurt, babe, alright? But we have to get you into the back." Y/N nodded at his words, not really hearing them anyway. He carefully put his arms around her before picking her up, and she let out a scream as he put more pressure on her wound. Steve felt more tears leave his eyes at the scream, and he quickly got her into the back of his car, letting Nancy take the drivers seat. Dustin sat in the front seat, having not said a word the whole time, and Robin got in the back after Steve. Robin closed the back as Nancy stepped on the gas, clearly sensing the urgency. Steve maneuvered him and Y/N so that she was laying on him, her back to his chest, and he was able to hold her close.

"Steve," Robin muttered, eyes wide even though they were swollen with tears from the whole of the last hour. "She's not awake." She motioned her head toward Y/N, and when Steve leaned around her, he noticed her eyes were completely closed. His heart dropped and he felt sick to his stomach as he tried to shake her awake, watching her chest rise and fall slowly.

"Y/N, please," He whispered to her, a couple tears falling and landing on her skin, dampening it even more. The relief he felt when Y/N grumbled and moved slightly was immeasurable, and he brought her even closer. "Please stay awake. I just need you to keep your eyes open," He begged, heart seizing as she moved a little bit more.

"Steve," She whispered, her head leaning back so she could look at him. "I don't wanna die," She begged, tears falling down her cheeks. Steve felt violently ill at her confession. His eyes were burning with unshed tears and his throat, where he had been choked twice in the past day, was also burning with the weight of keeping himself together.

"You're not going to die," He didn't know how far away they were from the hospital, but he knew they had to be getting close. "I won't let you die." He moved one hand to push her hair back on the side where she wasn't all beat up, kissing her damp skin.

"Where's Eddie?" She muttered, and Steve felt his body go cold.

He couldn't tell her that her best friend was dead, not while she as dying herself. He was afraid that telling her would make her give up, that he wasn't good enough on his own. Eddie and her had been friends for longer than Steve can remember, and if he had a friend like that he wouldn't feel great either. She was barely conscious, and Steve could only hope she wouldn't remember asking.

"We're here!" Nancy yelled as she stopped the car abruptly. Steve thanked every God he knew of that they had made it just in time, and hoped that Max and Y/N would be okay.

"Eddie," Y/N muttered, and that's when Steve knew that she had figured out.

Erica ran around the car to open the back, and Robin jumped out quickly to help Steve with Y/N, who was whimpering and crying out even though she hadn't moved yet.

"Come on, Princess," Steve grabbed her, helping her out of the car. When he pulled her close she screamed out, and that's when the sobbing started. Her cries were loud, so loud that Robin had to run to the bushes and throw up. She couldn't handle the cries and the pain and the fact that it seemed like everyone was falling apart.

Steve held himself together, his sole mission getting Y/N into the building. He held her close, trying to ignore her sobs. She was grabbing his shirt in her hands, and he was struggling to bring her in since she was withering in his grip. He held on tightly, however, trying to ignore the scream she let out as he pressed her wound closer to his body, putting more pressure on it.

"I'm so sorry," He told her, taking deep breaths until he finally got to the front door, where Erica and Dustin were already holding the doors open.

"Help us!" Lucas screamed, and that's when Steve realized he had been holding Max the whole time as well. Steve's arms were aching, but there was no way he was letting go of Y/N until she was in a bed. He looked around, seeing a couple people already coming in from what Vecna had done. Steve wasn't sure what the full extent was, but he knew that the Earth had cracked apart and people were hurt. He just hoped they would be open enough to help her.

"She was shot. She's lost a lot of blood." Steve said as evenly as he could, watching a couple people running around. It wasn't long before two stretchers were being rolled out, one for Max and one for Y/N.

"She doesn't have any allergies that I know of," Steve set Y/N down on the bed, but she was still holding onto his shirt lightly with a shaking hand.

"Do you know what type of blood she has?" A doctor asked, Steve following as the whole crew started moving.

"No, I-I don't know, I can call her house but I-" Steve was rambling and he knew he wasn't helping but he didn't know what to do. He was walking with Y/N, watching her eyes closing as she shook. Her hand was loosening on his shirt, and he felt his heart break as he grabbed her hand instead, shattering as he realized it was cold.

"It's okay. We'll take care of her." With a smile the doctor walked behind doors, doors Steve knew he couldn't go behind. In a daze and without thinking, he squeezed Y/N's hand and kissed her forehead.

"I love you," He finally said, and then she was taken away, and he watched until the doors closed. He watched as her head fell to the side, and he wished she could have said it back.

And then everything went black in his mind.

In reality, Robin was there, leading him to the waiting room. She was talking to him, saying his name, but he was staring straight forward eyes glassy.

Y/N. Max. Eddie.

He was supposed to be the babysitter. He was supposed to keep everyone safe. He wanted to be the hero this time. He didn't want to stay with everyone again, the way he had almost every time something like this has happened. And the one time he didn't stay with the kids, the time he left everyone, people died.

If he had been there, he would have been able to take out Jason. Max would still be alive. Y/N wouldn't have been shot and knocked out.

"Steve," It felt like the world came back all at once, and he turned to see Robin looking at him, eyes wide and tear tracks running down her face. She was gripping his arm, looking at him worriedly. He stood up, and she followed. "Where are you going?" She followed quickly as he began walking away. He couldn't just sit while his girlfriend was fighting for her life.

"Steve!" Dustin yelled, but Steve just walked over to Nancy who was sitting next to Lucas.

"Keys," He held his hand out. He felt empty, as if he were walking in a daze, and he didn't even register why Nancy looked up at him weirdly.

"Why don't you stay here? Wait for news on Max and Y/N." Nancy suggested, concerned. Steve wasn't crying anymore, and his face showed no emotions.

"Give me the keys." He would wrestle them from Nancy if he had to, determination filling his body.

"Where are you gonna go?" Dustin asked. The kid hadn't stopped crying all night, and if Steve were thinking clearly he would have told him to drink some water.

"To kill Jason," Clearly he wasn't thinking in any capacity. The gasps that everyone let out didn't deter him at all. Maybe he wouldn't kill Jason, but he was going to beat the kid to a pulp.

"Jason is dead," Lucas muttered, and for some reason that broke Steve.

"I need to get out of here." He said, walking toward the door, but then he was on the floor and everyone was screaming and he realized that maybe he should have been checked into the hospital awhile ago because the blood on his jacket was not all Y/N's.

"Steve!" He heard Robin scream, but he couldn't move. The pain was consuming him, both mental and physical, and he wanted to yell, to get up and find Y/N but he was glued to the floor.

Steve was sure he was not waking up.

~

He doesn't know how he got up. He doesn't know how he got to where he is now, sitting in a hospital bed. He doesn't remember anything, even as the doctor is telling him that he had a severe panic attack, that the wounds on his torso weren't infected and would heal fine but what animal was it again? Steve just blinked as Robin lied, said it wasn't an animal but a couple of bear traps, that they were being dumbasses and they knew better now and did they have any updates on Y/N?

"She'll be okay. She should be able to walk very soon-" The doctor cut herself off when there was a commotion down the hall. People were yelling, and there was screaming. Familiar screaming.

"Shit," Steve muttered as he sat up, watching Y/N come through the door, teeth gritted. She was favoring her right leg, but she was quick to get in the room. By the time the nurses got to the room, Y/N had already made it to his bed.

"They told me your room number." Y/N smirked as she climbed over Steve, wincing to be able to lay on her right leg on the other side of him. He smirked as he put an arm around her, looking at the outraged faces of the nurses and doctor.

"How did a GSW outsmart and outrun you?" The doctor asked the two nurses.

"She's very sneaky." One of the nurses said, and the three simply walked out, the doctor rolling his eyes and looking like he was seriously considering leaving and never coming back to this hospital.

"We're gonna make it out of here." Steve told her, kissing her forehead. She smiled as she moved slightly to look up at him.

"We already have."

//

tags:  @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @roxaya @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina  @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @mads-weasley

[shewasverynice]

Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen 

⚠️ SPOILER HEAVY ⚠️

Major Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death 

Full tags/warnings on Chapter links post

Major Characters: Original Character, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Ieiri Shoko, Yaga Masamichi, Nanami Kento, Haibara Yu, Tsukumo Yuki, Choso

‎‧₊˚✧ Chapter 24 ✧˚₊‧

"If you fail, the repercussions could greatly affect society," Yaga had said, "Don't screw this up."

Satoru sipped at his drink as he mulled over those words for the second time. The first time he'd heard them he just thought that Yaga was exaggerating. "Surely it wouldn't be all THAT bad if Tengen evolved or whatever" he remembered thinking.

Holy shit was THAT wrong.

"What's wrong?" Suguru asked, shifting closer as they walked down the sidewalk towards the apartment building Amanai lived in.

"Ah, it's nothing," Satoru said with a grin, "But uh, you're still game to get the girl out of here right?"

"Of course," Suguru said with a smile, "She shouldn't have to die so some old geezer gets to live a little longer."

"Right, right," Satoru nodded, crushing up his can with his technique before tossing it in a bin nearby, "Yeah, I figured you wouldn't change your mind."

Suguru tilted his head then bumped his shoulder against Satoru's. His smile twisted into that trademark suspicious looking smirk, his thin eyes closed just like a fox. "That's not all, is it?" He asked, pushing at Satoru and almost knocking him off the sidewalk. 

Satoru stared at him from behind his sunglasses, then huffed and pushed them up. Suguru always was good at reading him. 

"Yeah, alright, that's not all," he sighed, "But it's not something I want to talk about."

How could he? What was he supposed to tell him? The whole thing? Everything? No. No way. Absolutely not. That would be insane. He might believe him which might be troublesome for later. After all, a lot was riding on Suguru's mental stability. Better to not shake him up with some crazy information.

"Are you sure?" Suguru asked, his brows knitting together in concern, "Because I--"

"No, I really don't," Satoru said flatly, cutting him off and moving a few steps ahead.

Suguru frowned. Satoru hated it when he looked like that at him. Nothing made him more irritable than being worried about for no reason. He was untouchable. Suguru should be worried about himself first and whatever it was that turned him so harshly to evil.

Suguru sighed heavily, straightening up again. He shook his head, shoving his hands on his pockets and stared at the back of Satoru's head as he continued. "You're so stubborn," he muttered.

"Of course I am!" Satoru hissed, throwing his hands up dramatically, "I'm stubborn and rude and over the top. Everyone says that. That's not new."

"Yes, you are," Suguru hissed right back, "But you don't have to be. Especially not with me."

"Well don't ask about shit if I don't want to talk about it," Satoru grumbled, "Just leave me to deal with it myself."

"That's not how relationships work, Satoru," Suguru said with another heavy sigh, "You need to trust me. Maybe I can help with more than you think."

"I do trust you!" Satoru said, lifting up his sunglasses and stopping in his tracks. Really looking into his boyfriend's eyes and practically pleading. "Don't say that! I trust you!

"Satoru," Suguru said softly, stepping closer. He gently placed his hands on Satoru's arm, smiling at him with a genuine sweetness. "Relax. I know you trust me with your head, but not with your heart. You're going to need to let me help you when you're worried."

Satoru's lips parted but nothing came out. Instead he pushed up his sunglasses. "Please don't push this one," he said softly, "I... Any other time would be better for a lesson or whatever, but not this time."

Suguru let his hands fall away, nodding a little. The twitch of sadness in his smile wasn’t missed by Satoru, but he chose not to acknowledge it. Talking about this wouldn’t make him feel any better anyway. The best thing Satoru could do now was to keep his eyes open and pay close attention to anything that may have changed and be successful this time.

He’d already taken care of Q and The Star Religious group and even killed Toji. None of that guaranteed that Amanai was safe, but it certainly made for an easier mission. Three days to get her to Tengen, just like before, but this time she had time to “say her goodbyes”. Or at least the girl probably thought so.

All of them had agreed. Nanami, Haibara, Suguru, Sarah and Shoko had without hesitation agreed to give Amanai another chance and get her out of there. Even if they had to fight every single sorcerer on the planet, they were going to make it happen. Amanai deserved a life and they weren’t going to let anything get in their way.

His part in the plan was relatively simple: use the three days to get her as far away as possible. The rest of it was some complex plan that Nanami and Suguru had come up with, most of which Satoru hadn’t really paid attention to. What he did know was he was going to get her on a plane and overseas. Once she was there they’d take her somewhere where she and Kuroi could be off the grid and hide out until the higher-ups moved on. Everything would work out just fine.

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“What do you mean, “run away” and hide out?” Amanai shouted, jumping out of her seat, “Are you out of your mind? This is a sacred duty and I–”

“Yeah, yeah, duty and whatever,” Satoru grumbled, waving his hand dismissively, “Do you think your life’s only value is only in this one thing about you? That you were just born to die for an old man in a basement?”

“I believe Master Tengen was originally female,” Suguru corrected and Satoru pointed at him then looked back at Amanai.

“Alright, some old hag in the basement, whatever,” He said with a shrug before leaning back and crossing one long leg over the other. Jutting his chin towards Amanai he asked, “Point is, are you just gonna let someone else decide how to live your life or are you gonna take control?”

Amanai’s hands slowly curled into fists, her jaw still dropped and eyes flicking between Satoru and Suguru. Kuroi hadn’t said a word since the boys had explained their plan. Her hands trembled just a little as her mouth started to form some sort of protest before she shut it. She pressed her lips into a thin line before she stormed out of the room, muttering about getting ready for school.

Kuroi watched her disappear into her room before she turned to face the boys. She shook her head and quietly said, “While I do appreciate your mindset, I’m not sure this is the right thing.” Her fingers wound together in front of her, twisting nervously. “I do wish she could have a good long life, but if she–”

“Then why say no?” Suguru asked, “Talk to her. Explain how you feel. She’s lived her life as if she only had limited time and we’re giving her more. It’s a simple thing, isn’t it? Just tell her she doesn’t have to die.”

Kuroi hesitated. One of her hands came up to her lips, covering her mouth as her eyes fell to the floor. Finally she nodded, then followed Amanai into her room.

“Man, I thought she’d just agree,” Satoru sighed, dropping his head onto the backrest of the couch, “Why is she so unsure? It seems pretty obvious to me.”

“Well, I’d imagine it would be difficult to hear,” Suguru said with a soft chuckle, “She has likely been told many times how important this is and how she should be honored or any other sugar coated lies from everyone in her life.”

“Well, now she doesn’t need to hear that bullshit,” Satoru said, uncrossing his legs and letting them stretch out across the floor, “So she should be grateful.”

Suguru chuckled again. “She should be, but she may need more time to process all this,” he said, patting Satoru’s knee. He stood up, stretching his arms over his head before he strode over to the coffee pot. 

Satoru watched him sniff at the liquid before pouring it into a cup. He tilted his head, watching the dark haired boy pour in a little sugar before taking a test sip. With a scowl, he let his head fall back again and stared through his sunglasses out the huge window.

Satoru was irritated. That’s what it was. But why? What was making him so irritated about all of this? It wasn’t Amanai being unsure, that made sense in a way. Annoying also, but the main cause of what was making him feel so off. Something was really bugging him about this whole thing and he wasn’t really sure how to figure it out.

Even hours later when they’d taken Amanai to school and wandered around in the area, keeping themselves busy while she enjoyed her “last day”. He still couldn’t help but feel like something was grating on him. Plus he’d already told Suguru he didn’t want to talk about it with him, which was definitely still true. But who the hell could he even–

Satoru pulled out his phone, sitting down on a bench. 

Satoru: Hey, you got a minute?

Sarah: Yeh, ol’ man Nishimiya is teaching today. What’s up?

Satoru: Ew, the perv?

Sarah: Yup.

Satoru: It’s a lot to type. Can you sneak out or something?

He watched a few dots pop up on the screen, then disappear. Then about three minutes later his phone rang and he smiled before he answered.

“Sup, Glacier Freeze?” she whispered and he laughed.

“Got somethin’ that’s buggin’ me,” He said, running his free hand through his hair, “Got time to talk?”

“I guess,” she mumbled. He could hear the slight echo in her voice. She must have been in the bathroom. Classic place to hide. “Okay, let it rip. What’s up?”

He snorted. “Beyblade?” he teased and heard her muffle a laugh.

“Why not?” she said, then put her mouth super close to the mic to say, “Stop stalling.”

“Okay, alright,” he chuckled. With a sigh he gathered himself before he said, “I’m feeling weird today about something that’s kind of hard to explain. It’s kind of like… What do you do when you remember something awful that’s happened and the person who was with you doesn’t?”

“Huh? Is this something that a curse did or something?” she asked.

“Nah, not exactly,” he answered, “But I remember it and it’s really fucked up but this other person–”

“Suguru?”

“Okay, yeah,” Satoru admitted, “He doesn’t remember it and I can’t stop thinkin’ about it.”

“So you’re pissed that you have to live with it and he doesn’t?” She asked and his mouth fell open.

“How are you so good at this?” he muttered, his eyes flicking over to Suguru who was aimlessly pacing by some vending machines.

“Because I gotta be good at something, right?” she teased. He heard her lean up against the wall. “That’s a shitty feeling though, huh?” she asked, “It’s like… You have no right to be mad, but you still are since you’re stuck with it and he isn’t.”

“God, that’s so true,” he groaned, pushing up his sunglasses and pinching the bridge of his nose, “That's exactly it. They should be paying you for this shit.”

“Pfff,” she scoffed, “I’m only good at it with friends.”

“What do I even do about it?” he sighed, pushing down his sunglasses again, “It would fuck him up to know about it but it’s fucked up that I want him to be fucked up too.”

“That’s… I mean,” She muttered. He could hear her shifting; her breath as she thought about what to say. “Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked quietly, “It’s obviously fucked up to tell him, but you still want to talk about it don’t you?”

Satoru chewed his lip. He did want to talk about it.

“Alright, how about tonight?” he asked softly, “... unless you change your mind or something?”

“Nah, it’s cool,” she said, “I’ll wait up for you to call, okay?”

“Sure,” he said, then after a beat he added, “Thanks.”

“Of course,” she said with a little laugh, “Talk to ya later then, big guy.”

“See ya.”

“Was that Sarah?” Suguru asked, walking closer and holding out a drink for Satoru.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling as he took the drink. He looked up at Suguru and asked, “How’d you know?”

Suguru shrugged as he sat down beside him. “It’s just a guess,” he said, popping open the can.

“I just wanted to talk to her I guess,” Satoru said after taking a sip of his own drink.

“Well, as long as you talk to someone,” Suguru said, smiling and leaning just a little closer. Their shoulders touched and Satoru swallowed as a jolt shot through him. He laughed a little, feeling the blush creep up his cheeks. 

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“So, how’s it going?” Sarah asked later as soon as she picked up.

Satoru leaned over the railing on the balcony of the hotel room. His eyes scanned over the cityscape sprawling in front of him and eventually he answered, “She’s being a little stubborn.”

“Yeah I bet,” she laughed, “Poor thing. It’s hard to hear about “your destiny” your whole life.”

“You’d know, yeah?” he teased, grinning at her groan of frustration.

“Uh, yeah,” She scoffed, “Absolutely I would.”

“Then we should have brought you too,” he huffed.

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your romantic vacation with your boyfriend,” Sarah teased, the sly grin that was clearly plastered on her face unmistakable. He didn’t need to see that shit to hear it.

“Shut up,” he muttered, a smile on his lips anyway.

“Oh, hang on,” she said, “Going downstairs.”

“Wait,” he interrupted, “You’re not in your room yet?”

“Mm? No? Why?” He could hear her stop in her tracks and the voices of her handlers fussing at her in the background.

That actually solved something he was worried about. “Nah, it’s good,” he said, “Go ahead.”

He heard a loud rustling, clearly one of the handlers putting his hand over her phone. Then a muffled cry of agony, then nothing for a while. Shortly afterwards she spoke again.

“You wanted to make sure the outside me remembered that you called, huh?” she asked suddenly.

Satoru chuckled. “I didn’t want to hurt her feelings,” he admitted, “She’d think I forgot and I’d get an earful.”

Sarah chuckled as well. “That’s true,” she agreed, “So, go ahead. Tell me the whole story.”

“Where do I even start,” Satoru sighed. Then his brows furrowed. Where should he start? Should he just… tell her? Normally he wouldn’t have hesitated in this kind of situation. He never felt unsure of this kind of thing before, but when it came to her he was actually afraid to hurt her feelings. But how could he explain this without telling her everything? No, he had to trust that she could handle it. 

“So, I’ve lived all this before,” he admitted. She definitely was surprised, the little hitch in her breath was unmistakable. “I won't go into all the details, it won't really help right now anyway. But Suguru and I have been on this mission before only… it didn’t go well the first time.”

She listened intently, barely asking any questions as he told the whole story. From when they first left to even when Suguru had left the school. He hadn’t had any intention of telling her EVERYTHING everything, but once the words started to spill out he found he just couldn’t stop. She just… listened to him. She didn’t ask for justification or excuses or even try to rationalize why he made his choices. She listened until he finally stopped, just after the part when Suguru had left the school.

“Damn,” she muttered after a long pause. She inhaled before she let it out in a long heavy sigh and muttered, “Damn.” one more time.

Satoru was surprised to find himself trembling; just barely enough for him to notice. His heart was beating like crazy and a cold feeling was running through his skin. His head even felt a little fuzzy. What on earth was this feeling? Equal parts relief and something foreign. 

“Well, for one,” she finally said, making him tense up, “That’s fuckin’ awful and I’m really sorry it all went down like that.”

His shoulders fell, his eyes sliding closed as his body leaned into the balcony railing and his lungs remembered to breathe again. The cold feeling faded and he felt something new blossoming in its place. Warmth, although the slight tremble still remained.

“I take it you had a hand in why Q and the Star Religious group got into it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “Sure did.”

“That makes sense. You would do something wild like that,” She said with a soft breathy laugh in her words. “So now it makes sense why you want to give Amanai another chance. Poor girl never stood a chance.”

“Pff,” Satoru scoffed, “Are you sayin’ Suguru and I couldn’t handle it?”

“No,” she said and he could hear the roll in her eyes, “I’m saying that she spent her whole life being told she’s gotta die and then, when you two big assholes showed up and gave her a chance, a bigger asshole came and killed her. It’s not your fault you lost. They sent two sixteen year old boys on a mission that even adults would have failed.”

“We’re the strongest,” Satoru said with a shrug, “It makes sense that they’d choose us.”

“No it doesn’t,” she scoffed, “That’s stupid. They should have at least sent ONE adult with you. It’s stupid to send children into a situation like that alone.”

“... Well sometimes they can handle it…” He muttered. When she put it like that maybe his teaching methods needed some work… he didn’t think that was the part that was wrong about all this but when she just said it like that…

“I guess what it was, was that you got really outplayed,” she continued, “That Toji guy sounds like a big pain in the ass. He must have been really smart. Any adult with you probably would have died too.”

“See?” he said, “And this time around I… well I fucked up and warned him ahead of time  trying to threaten him so he uhh…” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before he admitted, “So he came and killed Suguru and Shoko and you had to send me back again.”

She snorted and laughed and he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re so stupid,” she said, the giggle still ringing in her voice, “But whatever. I’ll make sure you get to whatever goal you’re trying to accomplish.”

“Why are you so okay with it anyway?” he asked, “Last time it was even you that brought it up. You’re just okay with killing yourself to help me?”

“I guess it’s like…” she hummed a little as she gathered her words before she said, “It’s not really dying right? You’re still gonna be there and you’re gonna make sure we get through it, so why shouldn't I trust you?”

He sniffed with pride, slicking his hair back with his free hand. “I’ll take that compliment,” he said, “Glad you trust me to do what I'm good at.”

“Shut up,” she laughed, “I’m being serious. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I must have trusted you in the future too, right? We’re really good friends so I can see why.”

“It’s funny,” he said, propping his head up with his fist and leaning on the railing, “I didn’t actually know you before so I’m not sure why you did it all in the first place.”

“Does that matter?” she asked.

“Just seems weird to me,” he admitted, “I’m so used to doing everything by myself that someone just offering help to me is so… weird? Especially someone who didn’t even know me.”

“Well that sucks,” she grumbled, “Everyone else sucks.”

He laughed, covering his eyes with his hands. “It’s probably my fault too, I have a pretty shit personality.”

“You do not,” she said and he knew she would have swatted at him if she was next to him. “You’re just a lot and some people can’t handle that. You’re a cool dude and you’re definitely worth the effort.”

“Okay, alright,” he mumbled, “Don’t do that to me. You’re gonna make me explode or something.”

“Ew.”

“Not like that you degenerate!” he laughed, making her crack up as well. It faded after a moment and they both sighed before he said, “Okay, but we got way off track. You got all the details now, do the thing you’re good at. What’s got me all fucked up today?”

“Oh, you’re just feeling bitter,” she said matter-of-factly, “But I think anyone would in that situation.”

“Bitter, huh? Seems a bit stronger than bitter,” he said, raising a brow.

“Bitter can be different levels,” She said with a shrug, “But think about it? You have to be stuck with feeling so shook up and he doesn’t. Currently, he’s never had a real loss before. He’s never had that big moment where he had to realize that being the strongest doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed and that feels unfair to you.”

“Damn, you’re good,” he sighed.

“Yeah, well it’s pretty obvious,” she continued, “I mean, I feel that way about my outside self. She gets to flop around and have fun all day and I have to stay awake at night and have nightmares about being killed every six months.”

He sucked air through his teeth and quietly said, “Yeeeeah… yeah that’s pretty messed up.”

“And it makes you kinda mad, right? Like at Suguru?” she asked.

“Fuck. Yeah, you’re so right,” he groaned, “That’s so wrong, isn’t it?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t say so,” she reassured him, “I think it’s pretty natural to feel bitter about people who don’t know how bad you have it.”

“Is it?” he asked, “It feels kinda shitty.”

“Didn’t you ever have to deal with this before?” she asked, “Or haven’t you talked to anyone else feeling like that too?”

“I’m gonna be honest with you,” he said dryly, “All I did in my first life was work and sleep. Once Suguru left the school I didn’t have any real friends.”

She didn’t say anything. He might as well have heard the wheels turning in her head.

“Well…” She said, “Then I guess this time is a lot more fun, huh? You’ve got a lot of real friends this time, right?” She inhaled and paused then blew out, “I dunno man, that’s really heavy.”

He laughed, dropping his head onto his hand on the railing. “That’s heavy? Not the part about all the horrible traumatic shit?”

“C’mon I dunno!” she cackled, “You’re so much fun! It’s pretty ridiculous that no one wanted to be your friend.”

He sighed, wiping at his eyes. He cleared his throat as he considered what she said, smiling a little sadly. “Well… they may have wanted to, but it’s probably just as likely that I pushed them away,” he admitted, surprised as the realization was hitting him.

She blew a raspberry and he heard her stand up. “Okay!” she said with a huff, “Listen to me!”

He grinned. “Yes, ma’am!”

“You are allowed to feel bitter about things not being as green as they look on the other side,” She said, “But you’re not allowed to be mad at Suguru because you love him and he wouldn’t be mad at you for that.”

“Yeah…” he mumbled.

“So instead we’re gonna fuck up the old geezers, right?” she said, “Turn the tables on them!”

“Damn right we are,” he said with a smirk. He stood up, glancing over his shoulder as Suguru entered the room once again. “Talk to ya later, yeah?”

“Yeah, good luck!” she said, just before hanging up.

Suguru smiled as Satoru walked over, tilting his head. “Oh? Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah, actually,” Satoru said softly, “And uhh… sorry about earlier. I was being unintentionally petty about something.”

Suguru patted him on the back and grinned, “It’s alright. I get it.”

“You forgive me?” Satoru asked, looking up at Suguru with his eyelashes fluttering.

Suguru gave him a deadpan look, then pushed him back gently with his hand over his face. “Don’t push your luck,” he snickered.

Satoru sighed, then nodded towards the couch. “I’ll sleep over here, you can have the bed.”

“Oh?” Suguru said as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. He picked up his brush before letting his silky black hair down. “Are you sure?”

Satoru narrowed his eyes. That was an invitation wasn’t it? It was… right? Maybe it wasn't? It's not like Suguru had any experience in that category and he could easily be reading too much into it.

Still, as appealing as the idea sounded, when he looked at Suguru he felt a hesitation. Better not to push things too far, was how he was rationalizing it. Better not freak him out and try to get too close too fast.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Satoru said, snatching one of the pillows and sitting down on the couch with a smirk.

Suguru shrugged, “Well, alright. I thought you’d want to argue about it since I won the last few times.”

“Nah,” Satoru chuckled, “I’m good right here.”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

“The goodwill event is coming up,” Haibara said, standing up as he finished laceing up his shoes. “We're gonna train hard!”

“The goodwill event is only for second years and up,” Nanami reminded him, “Why would you bring us out here to train for an event we can't participate in.”

Haibara rushed forward and muttered, “That's the cover story, duh,” right in Nanami's ear.

Nanami pushed him back and rolled his eyes. “We don't need a cover story for training,” he grumbled, “We can just train.”

“Cover story?” Sarah asked, “For what?”

“For incase… y’know…” Haibara gestured towards the sky.

Nanami and Sarah stared at him.

He blinked then moved his hands and pointed downward this time. “Y’know?” He repeated.

“No,” Nanami said slowly, “I don't.”

Haibara grinned and laughed. “In case Tengen is mad about what we're doing with Amanai.”

“Oh,” Sarah laughed. She walked up and patted his cheek, making him blush and bite his lip just a little. “Don't worry about all that. Nee-chan will take care of Tengen for us.”

“I didn't know you had a sister?” Nanami said, tilting his head as he looked at her.

“Oh, well, she's more like a sister figure,” Sarah said with an aimless gesture of her hands, “She's been kind of a mentor for me for a while and she's got an in with Tengen.”

“An “in” with Tengen?” Nanami repeated, “What exactly does that mean?”

“Uhh… y’know to be honest I'm not sure,” Sarah said, rubbing her chin. Her eyes widened and she furrowed her brows. 

“H-hey! Uhh why don't we have a– a competition?” Haibara stammered out quickly, moving to stand in front of Sarah and snapping her out of it.

Sarah looked up at him, the worrying thought leaving her and a smile replacing it. Haibara continued to keep her distracted, but Nanami couldn't help but sigh. This binding vow was irritating. He had questions that demanded answers, but every time they got close to something the poor girl would have a panic attack.

“What a disgusting way to keep someone under control,” Nanami thought. The higher-ups were truly despicable in his mind, and it had only been reinforced over the spring time he'd spent at the school. Most of the adults were jaded and crazy and anyone else left was so uncaring and apathetic that it made him sick.

This was supposed to be something he could take pride in! This was supposed to be something special that only he could do for the good of everyone! Instead he'd found himself thrown into a pen with other sheep, most of which willingly obeyed without question. 

And yet… there was an appeal to the idea of working with his annoying upperclassmen. As soon as Yaga had given them a glimpse of what the even darker reality was beneath, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko had included Haibara and himself in all of their plans. Still loose and still waiting for better circumstances, but they still had plans to overturn everything.

“Nanami?” Haibara called, and Nanami looked up at him.

“Yes, I'm sorry,” he said, clearing his throat, “I'm here. Let's go.”

⤶ Prev Main Next ↪

Taglist: @inthedarkshadows000

[epickiya722]

Your recent posts about Gojo... It's literally why I interact less and less in fandom. People see hot characters and project stereotypes on them without a care of what they are

It can sound petty especially with how it doesn't matter in the long run but it's like seeing people saying that in a no curse au Sukuna would be a playboy... Like yeah it's an au, he will be a bit different (like not being a mass murderer cannibal) but that is just... Seem so ooc to me, even in an au.

But well yeah. They just change them into male lead of romance novels. They don't matter in another context to them which is why you'll see me blow up about how vain it all feel like

Another example is how interesting Jogo is but nobody care about him because they don't want to fuck him. Like his last fight with Sukuna? The fact that he's the first person Sukuna ever praised for being strong in the story? A "stand proud. You are strong." Like? When I game to this moment I was zo shocked because it's not expected on Sukuna at all. And how Jogo mourned the death of Hanami and Dagon too?!

Yeah you know I just know now that outside of fanworks it's better to just ignore fellow fans because they have nothing to say beside how hot a character is

It really does suck that when it comes to liking a character some people just stop at their appearance and that's it. Nothing else intrigues them and they go as far as to misinterpret them -> leading into misinterpreting the story and having terrible ass cold takes that just feels like they need something to say to make them sound "logical".

And it's people like that who are the loudest. So when others want to engage in the story and they check out meta posts and reviews for it, they'll see that trash first and run with it.

When JJK first came out, I did see it was quite popular but at most I saw fanart for it and kind of just ignored everything else. I went ahead with watching the anime and then went to see what people were saying and honestly? What the hell?

Gojo is a character that has a bad case of "likeable character, unlikeable fans".

I truly do believe that some of his fans only take to him for being attractive and powerful. When it comes to his story? "Eh, what's that?"

Look, I'm all for finding characters attractive. I, myself, find some characters attractive. But I don't see the thrill of stopping there when that character also has a whole story you can explore.

I know Gojo fans are mad, but... his pretty ass is in a story that is meant to be written tragically. People will say "he should be the MC, that's my MC". Well, guess what? He's part of the main cast, so his ass is getting that full experience.

I like Gojo a lot, too, I do. But watching the first season, something deep in my soul told me "oh, he's a sad one", so I guess a part of me was already prepared for something like 236.

This is going to sound harsh, but when he said "I would win" way back in the beginning? I clocked in that he, in fact, wouldn't. That fight against Sukuna was going to be a lost battle. Oh, I believed in Gojo and I wanted him to win. But whenever a nearly, seemingly invincible character say they are going to win... most likely they're going to lose.

And again, it's JJK. There's going to be loses and agony. It also doesn't matter sense for Gojo to win when YUJI STILL EXISTS!!! Like, sometimes, I feel like some of the fandom just wants Gojo to take the frontlines just so Yuji can't do anything.

I didn't expect for him to die, no. Still hurts. But... come on... the manga wasn't ending that soon.

The fanon interpretations I see of him (Gojo) is just... if you asked me to pick one I hate the most it is the "Gojo is a womanizer/playboy" interpretation. Same case for Sukuna, I do not see it. Especially, when in canon this guy just does not care for all of that. But it's fanon stuff and since I don't like it, I just steer clear of it.

And good point about Jogo. I'll be honest, I find that the Disaster Curses were interesting antagonists of the beginning of JJK. They were the first real threats for our cast. They were challenges.

They were curses made from humanity's fear of disasters and other humans. And yet, even with being curses, they showed "human" qualities. They were able to talk, a rare case for curse spirits, and feel other emotions. Mahito often displayed joy, example. Dagon and Jogo displayed sadness. They were a group that did hold some care for each other.

And yeah, I would say because of their physical appearances they're often ignored. (Unimportant, but I actually loved Hanami's design, that's my favorite design right there.)

[moonsidesong]

just caught up with Your Turn To Die and absolutely adored it the whole way through. it goes unbelievably hard. calling it Danganronpa But Good feels like an insult. but like... yeah what if danganronpa was good? or rather. game that makes me wish danganronpa was good.

it really keeps you on your toes the Entire time, which is why i ended up saving like......... every five to ten minutes, most times. i would say the only slower part is the minigames during chapter 2? but, i thought those were fun, and they were still broken up by plot important stuff, so i really didnt mind.

ive heard the game had a soundtrack release on CD a few years ago, but i cant seem to find much information about it? much less any resell listings. how sad... i love cd...

i wanna talk more in depth from here on out so spoilers under the cut! warning thoughts very disjointed. and i havent seen absolutely Everything the game has to offer yet (havent done any of the side stories, we'll do them soon probably) so if my takes are disproven by anything ive yet to see please do not tell me htank you

first off OHHH MY GODDDD THIS GAME IS SO MUCH LESS CREEPY ABOUT THE MINORS AND ITS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO DANGANRONPA. its not perfect, of course, i do not entirely love the jokes(???) about keiji (known grown adult man) going on dates with sara (known teenage girl), but like, this game does not make me feel gross all the time? thank u nankidai for not making your teacher character with a close relationship with one of his former students a groomer! the bare minimum! im gonna hit kodaka with a stick this should not be a point in the game's favor.

anyway! ended chapter 2 with Reko and Sou (shin) alive, ended chapter 3 having lost Reko .. . :( shes my favorite... i was so sad... ranmaru we're not friends anymore/.... you suck... you killed my best girl... we um, did make a grand total of 175 save files though, so at some point me and the friend i played with are gonna go back and scrub through anything and everything that we missed. maybe after we do the side stories though, not sure yet. reko yabusame i swear to god i will crawl into the screen and kill ranmaru myself for you. i will save you. i love you so much mwah

for years ive only known midori as The Guy That Kids On Danganronpa Discourse Instagram Put Overdramatic Yet Also Somehow Extremely Haphazard Trigger Warnings on every post that included him, so i was really excited to meet him. and boy he did not disappoint this guys NUTS!!! HES CRAZAY!!!!!!!! he has such a perfectly striking look about him. i love how he almost never stops looking straight at you, and how his suit is stark black so it obscures a lot of his shape when he's in the dark, its so cool. they absolutely nailed the atmosphere whenever you're around this guy.

but the first jumpscare when he like reaches out at you from the coffin just kinda made me laugh. me when i get you

also, if you're this far in to care about my opinions on games you probably know that i am Known Danganronpa V3 Hater. i think in particular Kokichi Ouma is way too good of a character for how dogwater the game's actual plot is, and Shin Tsukimi, while not being the same, obviously, scratches that itch of a guy trapped in a death game that spends all his time lying and living under a persona because he's afraid of dying perfectly While Being In A Game That Doesnt Make Me Feel Like Eating Sheet Metal . i love this dude and his ugly several clashing colors outfit. he wants my ass like mega dead right now but thats not important surely

also, i think its sweet that joe and sara are just best friends and they rarely ever even entertain the idea that they had romantic feelings for each other. i think its extra sweet and tragic that joe was able to tell sara he loved her in the end, meaning it as his best friend. and the way the game completely ceases showing you flashbacks of him after that point and just lets the image of the hallucinations replace his actual memory overtime is so good and haunting. this doubled down by the way her memory of him is completely locked up as soon as she starts trying to actually remember the way he really was, its so good.

i think thats all i have to say for now, but umm!!! really really good im excited to go back and fill in the gaps i missed. especially regarding kanna becasue i have a lot of theories about her that i hope im on the right track about #lol. but even if i dont i want to see her i miss her. yaay!!! i love when video games are good. i love you video games.

ill probably make more posts down the line with more thoughts after i let them marinade in my brain for a while... mostly when i have thoughts ive been sending them to the friend im playing with so we can discuss theories together LOL

[judyfromfinance]

Olden Times. Modern Thinking.

(Heimdall/Modern!Reader)

Summary: You know things you’re not supposed to. You behave oddly. And the way you speak is even odder. Kratos, Mimir, and Atreus have no idea if they should believe your ramblings of another world and of a future they have no way of knowing is real. But, you seem harmless enough. Plus, Faye may rise from her grave if they let a poor woman freeze to death in their forest, right outside their home no less.

~*~*~*~*~

Chapter 3

The boys were out for the day, which lead you to being home alone for the time being. It’s been a rough couple of weeks. Food was a bit scarce. But, more importantly, Fenrir was sick. You’ve met all three of the wolves that they saved. And all of them were loving but Fenrir was the most rambunctious out of the three. You didn’t know him long but it hurt to see the poor animal grow so weak. No matter how sad you grew though, it was nothing compared the inner turmoil that was running amok inside Atreus’s head. As you were cleaning the house and stoking the fire, making sure everything stayed warm for when they returned that you heard voices outside. You opened the giant wooden door slightly, peeking your head out to watch the sad scene play out in front of you. Mimir, who was reading on his barrel, spit out his spoon before asking “What’re doing there lass?”

“They’re back but… I don’t think Fenrir’s doing to good.” It hit different watching this play out in front of you. All though you were quite a ways away. And couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, you knew what had happened. Fenrir had finally passed. You saw the short argument play out before Kratos started to make his way back to the house. You opened the door fully for him as he walked in. He nodded his head your way before turning towards Mimir and saying “The wolf is gone.”

“Oh no. Not Fenrir. How’s the lad taking it?” Kratos turns back to Mimir after hanging up his axe. “Not well.” He grunts before walking towards his bed. “He goes to bury him.” You fiddle with your hands as they speak. No matter how long you’ve stayed here. Under the same roof as him, it was always difficult to talk in the presence of Kratos. He was quite intimidating. But still you speak up. “Poor Fenrir. Poor Atreus. I… I hope they both can find peace.” Kratos looks towards you. Every time he does you can feel a jolt run through you. But you look into his eyes and you know he appreciates your words. He nods then turns back towards his bed. He lays down and starts to drift to sleep. Dreaming of Faye no doubt. Mimir looks towards you before suggesting that you may need some sleep too.

“I uh… I’m not really that tired.” You grab your fur pelt that Atreus had sewn for you from the animals that Kratos had butchered. “I’ll go get us some more firewood. We’re running low.” Mimir hums, “Ok then. Be safe lass.” You nod and smile before quietly leaving through the front door. The cold air hit you like a ton of bricks. Almost knocking the air out of your lungs. You wrapped your arms around you as you trudged forward, making your way to the extra pre-cut logs that lay in the back. You would rather have stayed in the warm cabin but you needed space. To think. The game has finally begun. But it’s no longer a game anymore. This, all of this was real now. These characters were no longer just characters. They were people. And quite of few of these people were gonna get hurt. You stop in front of the fence leading out of the training grounds and towards the firewood. You leaned up against it as you fought with yourself in your head. Do you try to save these people? Could you? You were a mortal amongst gods. You still couldn’t get a hang of your bow and you sure as shit couldn’t fight against anything in this world. And even if you did manage to save people that were destined to die, would that change the future? For better or for worse? Questions ran rampant through your mind as you huffed in frustration. A million questions but no answers. What could you do? You opened the gate as you picked up five pieces of wood from the pile that you and Atreus had cut together earlier. You look up as you hear a roar in the distance. It sounded like a bear. Tears pricked the corners of your eyes as you hastily blinked them away. You close the gate with your foot as dread built in your gut for what was to come.

“How can a nobody like me possibly help these gods with the impossible?” With your head hung low you made your way back to the cabin. As soon as you tried to push the door open with your shoulder Kratos swung it open almost toppling you over. You squeaked in fear as he caught you. “Are you ok?” He asked. You nodded. “Yea. I’m fine. Why?” You shifted your gaze from him to Mimir and back. “Well you took your bloody time with that firewood lass! You had us worried.” Kratos grunted before telling you to stay put in the house. And with that they went to look for Atreus. You placed your pile of wood near the front door and sat down on your makeshift bed of furs. Kratos had built a small wooden frame for you and piled it with hay and fur. It wasn’t much but it was sweet of him to make it for you. Atreus had carved your name in it in norse runes. If you didn’t know any better, you would say you were practically part of the family. You went to bundle up under the covers before you heard a knock on the door. You turned towards it but didn’t move a muscle. If it was Kratos or Atreus they would just walk in. It was there home after all. This mysterious person knocked again before you got up slowly. You stared. Confused on who this could possibly be.

“I know you’re in there mortal. I just wanna talk…. Do you drink? I brought mead.” No. No no no no NO! This was not supposed to happen. He wasn’t supposed to be here yet! Why was he here? Maybe… maybe just by you being here you changed the timeline more than you thought. You grabbed the door handle before slowly opening the door. Not bothering with a ‘Hello.’ or even a short ‘Welcome.’ The god of thunder stood before you. A giant of a man as he looked down towards you. What was Thor doing here? How did he know you were here? As if hearing all the questions in your head he motioned towards the table behind you and said “Shall we have a seat? We have a lot to discuss little one.”

You dare not disobey him so you opened the door wider and let him in. He sat himself down before raising Mjolnir and laying it on the table. He turned his head towards you and noticed you stuck, paralyzed in fear. “It’s getting cold. Why don’t you close the door?” You slowly shut the door while not, for even a second, breaking eye contact with Thor. As you watched him take a swig of his mead you finally found your voice. “What do you want?” You question as you slowly approached the table. Thor swirled his drink around before he huffed and capped it back up. Setting it down on the table and turning towards you. “From you? I don’t need anything. The All-Father on the other hand…” and with that another knock sounded from the front door. You gulped down your anxiety as you went to open it. Thor was intimidating sure, but Odin? He may appear to be a frail old man but you knew better. You opened the door.

“Hello (Y/n). May I come in?” You nod your head and pray for Kratos to make a quick return. He was a god after all, maybe he could here you somewhere out there. Odin walked in as his ravens flew in behind him. Each one landing on his arms and disappearing as tattoos. He placed his hands on his hips as he sighed. “Look, we’re not here to intimidate you in any way. I know it may seem like it, you being a mortal amongst gods and all.” He pointed towards himself then to his son. He continued “But we just want answers. See, we heard through the grapevine that you aren’t as normal as you appear to be.” You backed up towards the front door as you kept eye contact with the All-Father. How does he know? How does he know anything? He couldn’t possibly… who told him? He approached you slowly, arms raised in a placating manor. Like one would do towards an animal backed into a corner. But they way he spoke was as if he was talking to a frightened child.

“Look, no one wants Ragnarök to happen. I don’t want anyone to die. Just like you. I want to protect the ones I love. And I’ve heard, that you just might know a thing or two on how to prevent it.” You shook your head vehemently. Your back fully pressed against the door as Odin sighed. “My dear, all I want to do is help. How am I supposed to help you if you can’t help yourself?” Your breathing became shallow as your mind raced. It was too stuffy in here. Your eyes shifted and became hazy. You couldn’t stand it. You needed air. You go to turn around but the door is pulled open for you. You bump, once again, into Kratos. Atreus behind him in a state of shock. You looked up towards him with tears in your eyes. Fear flashed through you in that moment, hoping that he didn’t think you were plotting against him with the enemy. But you saw a softness in his eyes as he gently pressed his warm palms on each of your shoulders. He nodded before moving you behind him. Atreus walked up next to you and held you close. The God of War faced down the All-Father as they discussed peace. Kratos set Mimir down before giving his answer.

“No.” And with that Thor stood up and launched his hammer towards Kratos. Causing a giant crater in the roof as you and Atreus bolted inside. You ran up to Mimir to ask if he was alright and in that time Odin walked out the door with Atreus on his heels. You both watched the door in silence.

“What do you suppose their talking about?” Mimir had whispered. Trying to stay silent to see if he could hear an inkling of what the two may be discussing. “He uh…” you look towards Mimir. “He’s probably inviting Atreus to Asgard.” His eyes widen as he looks at you. “Now how would you know that?” You fiddled with your fur pelt as you looked towards the door once more. “We have a lot to discuss once Kratos returns.”

~*~*~*~*~

I’m slowly but surely learning how to make my posts look better for y’all lol. But YEEEE. 3rd installment. Still no Heimdall. 😭 sorry. But heres a little bit of existential dread and fearing our knowledge of the future and our own mortality compared to the gods we keep company for ya~. Hopefully that tides ya over~.

Taglist: @zoleea-exultant @sumebuddy @sissontrinity123 @different4black @vknr @slaying69696969 @dont-mind-me27 @dijanur @frog-cultist @jamallemal @star-angel1 @mrsurrealism @ladysaribu @shirocchi13 @noxiemoon @fullmoonwolfer1 @forg1 @onix-a @silvergoldraeven @inky-weeaboo-weirdo14

[ecogirl2759]

Welp-

I reblogged this post earlier, and I wanted to elaborate on my stance since I messed up my reblog and my message didn't show up :(

LONG ramble about Taka and Ishida under the cut :)

(Spoilers and death and all that good stuff, as well as a couple screen caps)

Heads up:

Just real quick, I'm gonna make a couple points based on this snapshot from an old interview. Here's the source. (I will translate some parts of this below, too.)

OKAY

SO

For starters, I don't think Taka was ever meant to survive.

I really think he should have, but I don't believe he was ever going to. Hot take, ik lol

As basically everyone knows by now, Taka was meant to kill himself in Distrust. That ended up being changed since the whole suicide plot would've been revealed too early for people's liking, so that point was given to Sakura. So even before the game was refined and shipped, Taka was going to die. (Edit: OKAY this info is actually false. Leaving it in so that people can read what I had originally said, but this part is NOTTTT ACCURATEEEEE okay thanks)

Taka's FTEs also stopped when he changed into Ishida, and while Ishida had one unused FTE, it was only one. I doubt there was ever much planned for Taka past Chapter 4 (maximum), so they decided to just kill him in Chapter 3.

Kodaka did speak a little bit about what he had wanted Taka's death to feel like, so I think that's pretty solid evidence that he was always going to die.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: You could say that. However, even in a sad situation, I didn't want to make it [his death] cruel/brutal, so when it comes to it, it was on purpose.]

Ishida was also not a very well-received character lol.

Apparently, when the game first came out, Ishida was one of the least liked characters in the whole game. The staff also didn't care for him much, so they probably wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Komatsuzaki: I felt like the characters were weaker when combined (laughter).] [Kodaka: That [Ishida's FTE] was also scrapped, and almost all of his appearances were lost. For that reason, Ishimaru himself was very popular although Ishida wasn't popular in the slightest. It's unfortunate... (laughter).]

The wordage here makes me think that there were originally going to be more chances for Ishida to appear, but that was thrown out in the earliest stages of planning. [ボツ roughly means "rejection (of a manuscript, etc.)]

Kodaka DID want to dive deeper into Ishida's character, though! He said so here:

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: I wanted to dig a little deeper regarding Ishimaru and Oowada's union, "Ishida," though...]

However, not even the interviewers really cared for Ishida lol.

Also, just to bring it up, here's where the claim for Taka's nonexistent backstory comes from, as far as I can tell:

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: I thought about depicting that [his experience in junior high] a little more in his Free Activity part, but that was becoming too dark/gloomy, so it was retired.]

So it's not that he had one that was scrapped after he died. He never had one to begin with.

MIGHT I REMIND PEOPLE OF ALL THE CRIMES IN THIS SERIES?? WHAT COULD BE DARKER THAN, LIKE, MUTILATION, SA, SH, SEWERSLIDE, ECT ECT????

The staff do agree that he was rushed, though. Kodaka admitted that he probably rushed his death a little at the end, but he was trying to achieve a certain feel with it.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Sugawara: Ishimaru's facial expressions were fairly abundant, but I felt like his time to die seemed too quick to carry out.] [Kodaka: Be that as it may, I feel I was too quick regarding Ishimaru. But, I really wanted the event when Ishimaru died to be like Robert Rodriguez's "Desperado".]

Now, I haven't seen Desperado, so I have no idea what this reference means lol. If anyone has seen it, lmk! (Defo going on my Must Watch list hehe)

SO IN CONCLUSION:

Taka was likely always meant to die, but his character was incredibly rushed and shallow that he ended up dying without much to his backstory or personality.

It's really unfortunate, though. I've always felt like Fuyuhiko was kinda like what could have been for Taka, even on my first playthrough of the second game. Taka's character did and still does have SO much potential, including the fact that his percent chance of surviving his death is MUCH higher than any other character that has died thus far.

If there's ever a new Dangan installment, I want a Taka cameo where he didn't actually die because the freezer room basically acted as a life support system for him and slowed his circulation of blood, letting his head injury heal just enough to escape Hope's Peak some time after all the survivors are already out but before anyone comes back, but because he has severe untreated head trauma he's kinda crazy.

BUT THOSE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS!

Sorry for the ramble hehe

[simple-seranade]

Achilles Come Down

Jimmy walks into the Double Life series expecting and hoping it will be his last.

Of course, the universe has never let him get what he wants, so why should this time be different?

(Though maybe, just maybe, he can forgive the universe just this once, now that he has another day to do so.)

OK SO LOTS OF TRIGGERS HERE

TW: suicidal thoughts, near suicide attempt, self harm, MAJOR self-hate and self deprecation, dissociation, death. this is a heavy one, guys

DISCLAIMER: this is about the characters, not the CCs. I am fully aware that all the jokes are in good fun and that Jimmy is fine with it. I just wanted to make c!Jimmy sad and then give him comfort.

that being said, enjoy 6k words of ranchers hurt/comfort!

———*———

Jimmy knows the feeling of death.

The temporary jolt of the infinite respawn, the burning phantom pain of losing a life, the cold grasp of the Void permeating down to the bone and leeching every living spark in your body as you die for the final time- he’s felt it all, more than once, more than most ever have or will or should. He’d say he regards death as a good friend, if it weren’t for the fact that he was fighting it with every fiber of his being in that space below life, where there was nothing but pure nothingness in every direction, surrounding him, choking the air out of his lungs while his heart didn’t beat in his chest and his blood didn’t course through his veins-

Not the point. That’s not the point.

The point is, Jimmy is familiar with death. He’s spent more time dead than some of the new players have spent alive.

The point is, each time he’s yanked back to the realm of the living from the endless darkness, he’s met with teasing ridicule towards his downfall, mocking laughs directed at his hopes that things would be different.

The point is, Jimmy doesn’t think he can do this anymore.

A circlet burning upon a sacrificial altar, offering up his soul to one that didn’t exist, didn’t care, didn’t bless. An arrow through the chest, leaving the person he cared about alone. A fireball hitting him and setting every inch of him aflame, because his life wasn’t hell enough, he had to actually die in it. Shattered bones from the cold, unforgiving dirt as his brother hit him off of a building.

Those were just the permanent deaths. That doesn’t count for the countless burning pains and scars that are only there as a tapestry to his failure. That doesn’t count for all the times he’s picked a fight he couldn’t win and died more from the embarrassment than the actual pain. That doesn’t count the agony that was stopping the void from disintegrating him piece by piece as he waited for the others to die in the games, all alone and isolated, because right then Death only had one focus and one alone, one meal to dine upon. That doesn’t count for the thousand little deaths he feels he’s died each day as they joke about poor Tim, worthless Tim, cursed Tim, always Timmy, never Jimmy-

He’s tired. He’s sick and he’s tired and he’s done. 

He’s been done for a while, actually. A few too many careless deaths that may have not been so careless, no matter how many times he respawned. A few hearts gone not by fall or mob, but by human sword, his own or others. A few times where all he can do is sob and yank on his hair as a million words and thoughts run through his head, all the laughter just too loud, please, anyone, make it stop-

He sort of blames the others, even though he tries not to. After all, what right does he have to be mad at them when he’s the one screwing up? 

A much larger part of him wonders what right they have to laugh at him, to kick him while he’s down, because they’re his best friends, his brother, they should be able to tell but they’re too busy in their own stupid heads.

He doesn’t tell them, no matter how many times they mock him. It’s in good fun, he knows. They don’t know what they’re doing. They don’t realize they’re big contributors to the growing ache in his chest.

It doesn’t make it hurt any less. It doesn’t make him love them any less either.

So, when he gets a letter from his brother, he reads it as he always does. Grian’s invited him to another life series, one with a surprise twist Jimmy barely thinks to ponder on as he reads the rest of the information.

It still has the life system, still will be treated as a hardcore world. It will still have the permadeath mechanic, at least while the game continues.

The night he receives the invitation is the night he makes the plan. He barely realizes he’s doing it until all the steps are laid nearly out in front of him in a way he can’t refuse. It’s simple, foolproof.

Step one: Die.

Find some mobs too early on and try to fight them, purposefully plant a trap that will blow up in his face, accidentally miss his MLG water save, antagonize the red lives assuming he doesn’t reach that status first, fall in lava, let a warden’s scream shatter him- there’s no shortage of ways to accomplish it. Whatever it takes to run through all three lives (or whatever number Grian gives them this time around). 

Step Two: Let the void take him.

Players aren’t really meant to permadie. The void eats them slowly, relishing in every dissipated particle and line of code. There’s plenty of time to grasp at the strands of life available, and respawns rarely take more than a few seconds, let alone enough time for a player to be fully consumed. Single player hardcore worlds will send the player back to the Hub after only half a minute, barely any void attached, and multiplayer hardcore servers usually do the same, or at least grant the mercy of spectator mode to allow those fallen to observe their friends. 

The Life series were… different.

When he had died for the final time in Third Life, he expected to be in the void for only a few moments before the Spectate button would appear and he would watch the world continue as a ghost of his former self. He sat in the void for five seconds. 

Then ten seconds.

Thirty seconds.

A minute.

An hour.

A day.

A week.

All with the void attempting to destroy the very essence of his being, all while using every bit of strength to stop the deterioration before someone else joined him. Then it lessened, and by the time the majority of the players joined him, it was barely noticeable.

Grian apologized profusely after the game. He said he didn’t know what happened- at least, he told everyone else that. To Jimmy and Martyn, he confided the real reason the void was the way it was, why the first to fall came so close to actually dying.

If Jimmy ever sees a Watcher, he’s going to punch them in the face.

His brother thought he had fixed it the second game. The others were told of the dangers, all accepting that it could happen. Jimmy trusted his older brother. Then Jimmy fell back into the void, at least this time prepared to fight tooth and nail against the pull of nothingness.

It only stood to reason that it would happen again. That the Watchers would make it so Jimmy would have to use any energy he had left to survive, all for their amusement.

Unfortunately for them, Jimmy doesn’t plan on fighting it.

Then he will get rest.

Then he will be free from all the laughs and jokes at his expense.

No more Timmy.

No more Jimmy.

As he stands in the circle with the others, waiting on the edge of their podiums for Grian to explain the world, a sense of calm he’s rarely felt during these washes over him. After all, he knows how this will end for him. There’s no question as to if he’ll be the first to go, because he will.

And he will relish in it, before finally being no more.

Grian claps his hands, pulling Jimmy out of the fathoms of his thoughts. “Alright, guys, thank you for joining us in a third go around of the Life Series! Welcome to Double Life, as you all saw on your invites. Now, as you also saw, there’s a surprise mechanic this time around!”

“Is it called ‘Scar keeps his shirt on’? We haven’t seen that one yet!” Ren calls out, causing laughter to spread amongst the group. Jimmy joins them, though the sound seems odd in his ears. Heavy.

“Unfortunately, Ren, I haven’t figured out how to code that, otherwise I would in a heartbeat.” Grian replies, fighting to keep a smile off of his face. Scar simply sticks his tongue out at the shorter man. “No, the surprise mechanic is…. imaginary drumroll… soulmates!”

Jimmy’s world crashes out from under him, the supports holding him up weathering under the force of a thousand invisible unchangeable years of pain. 

Questions he can barely understand swell in the air, Grian barely managing to bring them to a quiet lull to answer them. “Soulmates will be randomly assigned here in a few minutes. You both will share a health bar- when one of you takes damage, so will the other, and when one of you dies, so will your soulmate. We have a few rules to stop anything from going wrong with the code-“

The rest of the words are a blur in Jimmy’s mind. The people scatter, awaiting the timer to tick down and attach their heart to another. Jimmy does too, with footsteps not his own, in a direction he doesn’t choose, all while a heart beats that soon won’t be only his.

This- this couldn’t be happening. He was going to be done. He was going to get to be free from the hell that had become his life. 

He bites back a scream and kicks a nearby tree, feeling a shot of pain race up his foot. It throbs for a moment, but it’s a welcome distraction from the anger in his head at Grian, at the world, at everyone, because why can’t he just-

3

2

1

Your Soulmate Is…

???

Jimmy blinks the green letters out of his vision, only to be hit by a strong sense of vertigo for a split second. His vision swims, and his heart beats almost painfully in his chest. 

He’s been linked.

It’s too late now.

Any sense of peace from earlier is gone, replaced by a rising sensation of dread. He can’t do this again. He can’t do this again.

Because now he’ll be dooming someone else when he dies. Now the void won’t try to feast upon him alone, and he won’t get the sweet release of his code being torn from the universe because everyone on this server likes to play the fucking hero and won’t let him.

It’s fine. It’s fine, everything is fine. He- he’ll figure it out. Maybe this will be a good thing, maybe his soulmate will have some sort of astounding luck to counteract whatever the hell the universe is doing to him.

The excuse doesn’t sound genuine, even to his own thoughts.

Ok. He can do this. Just- gather materials. Play the game. He’s done it before, he’s good at it, no matter what everyone else says.

So he does. He gathers wood, explores the world, even stumbles upon a cave. There’s a startling lack of iron inside, but at least he’s getting some stone. 

He’s smelting a few of the scraps of iron he’s found when a flash of green catches his eye in the distance, only illuminated by the torches he’s already placed down. The green turns into a shape, the shape turns into a figure, the figure turns into someone he still doesn’t know whether to regard as foe or friend.

“Oi! Jimmy!” Joel calls out, and thankfully the part of Jimmy that wants to slam his head into the stone in front of him gives way to the part that gives a practiced grin. He can see the glinting of iron armor the man dons, even in the low light, as well as the food in the man’s hand.

“Joel! Any chance you can spare some salmon?”

The man immediately shakes his head. “Uh, no. I need it, I’m low on food.”

“Fair- I was wondering who was taking all the iron, guess that’s solved now!”

Joel has the decency to look sheepish. “Yeah, sorry ‘bout that, mate. Don’t want my soulmate hating me right out the gate, yknow?”

“Yeah, that checks out.” Jimmy turns back to his furnace for a second to check on the iron he’s smelting, only to feel a jolt of pain in his shoulder. “Ouch! What-“

Joel punches him in the shoulder again, laughing. “Shush, Tim, I’m gonna make your soulmate annoyed at you!”

Frustration flares somewhere deep in Jimmy as he dodges the next swing. “How did you know it wasn’t me and you? It coulda been me and you!”

The other man just shrugs, landing on more punch on Jimmy’s now sore shoulder. “Dunno, just had a feeling.”

Don’t get mad, Jimmy, don’t get mad. He’s just… being Joel.  “Well, we passed the test, so it seems like we aren’t together this go-around.”

The flames of the furnace cast a warm glow on Joel’s face as he puts some food in it. “Yeah… I prayed that it wasn’t, so…”

Jimmy wishes he could say it didn’t hurt. That after all this time he’d become desensitized to the comments, that he was able to shrug it off like any other person would be able to.

Then again, the universe doesn’t seem to be in the business of granting Jimmy’s wishes.

He should just stay quiet. He should laugh it off, move on, do what he always does, because Joel doesn’t mean any harm. He knows he doesn’t.

But a small part of him questions. It asks, just this once, if it really is a joke. If Joel really has meant it all this time, if the effect his words have had on Jimmy are justified. The larger part of him that knows it’s a joke longs for… something. Just some kind of confirmation that Jimmy is just overreacting, for Joel to look him in the eyes and say he was only kidding. 

The words escape his lips before he can even think about them.

“You… prayed you wouldn’t be paired with me…?” 

Look at me, Joel. Look at me. Look at me look at me loOK AT ME-

“Yeah.”

He doesn’t even tear his gaze away from the furnace.

Everything is clouded in a haze of raging emotions as he listens to Joel talk about the mineshaft, following blindly behind. 

The question was stupid. It was utterly, undeniably idiotic, just like Jimmy himself, because now he only longs more for the thing he can’t have. He’s angry at so many of things- Joel, Grian, the universe, himself, void he’s mad at himself-

Even the rush of finding the amethyst cave isn’t enough to clear his head, all the voices around him seeming muddy and loud enough to make him want to slam his hands over his ears. The singing of the crystals, the laughs of his friends as they remembered the last game (remembered the group they kicked him from, the times they turned him away because he’s just useless Tim), all enough to make him grateful for the peaceful quiet of the surface world as he lugs himself out of the cave, iron armor weighing heavily on his shoulders.

Well, it’s not totally quiet- this is a server with his friends. Quiet doesn’t exist with them, especially with the musical calls of the goat horns ringing across the server, the faint laughs of his friends not far behind.

(He still calls them that. He calls them his friends and he hates it because they shouldn’t be, not when they make him hurt like this, but even now he can’t say he hates them. He should, but he can’t, and it makes it all the more infuriating.)

He needs to focus on something. He can’t just sit around wallowing in his own self pity, not when his soulmate is out there. They’re going to find each other eventually, and all he can hope for is someone who will at least be happy with him if he’s useful, which means he needs more materials.

… those goat horns do sound pretty cool, though.

It takes some coaxing, getting the goat to start charging him atop the mountain. Of course the only one reluctant to try to attack him is the one he needs to. That’s just how his luck is going.

He’s not prepared for the sensation of phantom teeth sinking into his arm, nor the feeling of an arrow glancing across his cheek. He gasps as the pain races through his nerves, wondering what the hell his soulmate is doing, then there’s burning pain being torn apart fire smoke-

Tango blew up

SolidarityGaming died

The respawn only takes second, leaving Jimmy breathing heavily, hand clutching his chest as he sits in the branches of a tree. The pain is fading rapidly, and that sick, horrible part of Jimmy’s brain misses it, the same part that tells him to fall off his builds and overall be a fucking pitiful excuse of a human being.

He groans, pushing himself up and narrowly managing to avoid falling out of the tree completely as he lowers himself to the ground. He can hear frantic apologies from somewhere above him, and it takes a moment for him to spot the source of the voice- his soulmate. 

“Oh my gosh, I am so sorry- that explodification came out of nowhere-“ Tango rakes his nails through his hair, small tendrils of smoke rising out of it as he does. His red eyes look sheepishly at the leaves in front of him as he sits in a tree, just like Jimmy was moments prior. “The first death too, oh gosh-“

Jimmy’s heart plummets into the earth below as he realizes that, yes, he did just die first, even if it wasn’t a permadeath. Granted, it was Tango that dragged him down, but they were practically one in the same now. He might have just doomed him from the second the universe linked them.

Void, he really is cursed, isn’t he?

Ice cold shards of hate and dread shoot through his veins, but he shoves them down into all the splintering cracks and crevices his constitution has acquired throughout all of this. He takes a deep breath, carefully schooling all the scorn out of his voice as he addresses the blaze born. “Ok, Tango, walk me through it- walk me through what happened.”

He watches as Tango talks, absorbing the words without fully taking time to understand them. The other man’s hands are constantly moving, fidgeting, and even now he refuses to meet Jimmy’s gaze, clearly embarrassed. His ruby red gaze instead flits between the leaves, the ground, the sky, anything except for Jimmy’s face.

Void, why does no one ever look at him?

He barely holds back a wince at the thought, pushing the thought down and instead reaching out a careful hand towards the fretting blaze hybrid. The other man startles out of his explanation at the feeling of a hand on his shoulder, his gaze turning to Jimmy’s almost involuntarily as words accompany the touch. “Hey, it’s all good. It happens.”

And he means it. Even beneath all the hate and annoyance and pure everything churning beneath the surface, there’s no part of him that blames Tango.

After all, why blame him for Jimmy’s curse?

There’s nothing anyone could do to be settled with this luck, to be stuck with someone who can’t build, can’t do redstone, can only blow himself up with TNT and die. There’s no reason someone would deserve to be stuck with a person who only serves to isolate and drag others down with him, because if he’s ridiculed, everyone he associates with will be too. Then they’ll hate him, leaving him alone, and it’s just a never ending loop, really, a snake eating its own tail because there’s no one around for it to eat or to even eat it.

“Jimmy? You ok?”

Tango’s words send him careening back to earth, back to reality, back to the here and now. His eyes snap to his soulmate, and he’s looking at him now. Tango’s glowing eyes are trained on him, soley on him, and Jimmy fights back the question of when the last time someone did that was. It doesn’t matter, even if Tango’s undivided attention warms his soul similarly to how the blaze born is warming the air around him just by existing.

Stop trying to care. It will be easier if you don’t.

A smile slips back onto his face the way it always does, the way he’s made it, the way it has to. “Yeah, I’m all good!”

He wishes with all his heart that he could mean it.

It’s a struggle to stay tethered to the dirt beneath his feet as he explores, attempting to find his stuff to make up for what they lost. Of course, it’s long gone by the time he finds where he died, and all he has to show for his efforts is wounded pride as everyone’s laughter rings in his ears.

Void, he’s tired.

He’s not useful. He doesn’t know how to build, not like Tango does, as much as his soulmate tries to deny it. He doesn’t blame himself for that. He doesn’t.

He does. He really does.

Still, he can do some things. He focuses on the loud mooing of cows as they follow him, big brown eyes fixed on the wheat in his hand as he approaches the ranch, knocking clumsily against the door to alert the one inside.

“Jimmy? What are you- oh my god!”

Tango’s eyes shine as they land on the cows, and he immediately leans down and pets them, running a hand through their short fur. “There are so many! Jimmy, you’re amazing!”

The canary’s brain stutters.

… what?

He barely has time to process the words, ones he doesn’t remember the last time he heard, before he’s fully encompassed and his feet are off the ground and he’s surrounded by warm. Tango spins him around clumsily, laughing and squeezing tight, before pulling both of them onto the ground. Jimmy can feel both his own dull spike of pain as well as Tango’s as his heart thuds away in his chest. 

Hands are on his back. Someone is laughing, but not at him. He’s not laughing at him. He’s not laughing at him.

For the first time in a long time, Jimmy’s heart feels warm.

For the first time in a long time, Jimmy laughs. Heartfeltly, genuinely laughs.

The rest of the day is spent in a flurry of activity, building a pen for the cows and feeding the chickens and a lovely almost domestic dance that Jimmy can barely wrap his head around, even as a pair of arms wraps around him more times than any ever have. His thoughts are still racing in bed that night. 

It’s too good to be true.

Everyone has let him just be the butt of a joke for so long, so why on earth is Tango being like this? It’s horrible. It’s horrible and he loves it and he never wants to go without this feeling again even though he’s barely had it for long. He hates it.

He still doesn’t deserve it. He doesn’t deserve it, just like how Tango doesn’t deserve all the trouble that’s going to come with being bound to him.

Haunting laughter echoes in his head, overpowering the warm sound of Tango’s from earlier. They’re a cruel, necessary reminder. He can’t let himself forget.

He’s Jimmy. And Jimmy can only fall.

He doesn’t know why he does it. It’s stupid, he’s stupid, an idiot, because why on earth is he up on the roof of the ranch? It’s not like he’s going to do anything, not when it would take Tango down with him, not this early on in the games. Still, as he looks down at the ground, he wonders what he would have to do for it to be enough to kill. If he towers up and takes off what pathetic excuse for armor he has, he should splat pretty nicely. Then he’ll be red, then he can fall again and never have to worry about anything again.

His boots are next to him now. He doesn’t remember taking them off. A chill races up his spine in the cold night air, and he finds himself longing for warmth. 

Tango is warm. He should go back to Tango.

He keeps sitting, clenching wooden planks in his hands and fighting the irrepressible urge to place one, then another, then another, then another…

He blinks. He’s higher up now. He doesn’t remember building up.

He should be more concerned, but he can’t bring himself to care.

The ground is far down, far enough to be dangerous, to be lethal. To be exactly what he wants. To take Tango down with him.

He should go back inside.

He sits on the planks, looking down. 

It just isn’t fair. He just wants to- he- 

He absentmindedly reaches up, digging his nails hard into his arms in a futile attempt to ground himself. It stings, sending spikes of pain racing through his nerves. Even when he’s almost certain there will be crescents in his arms for ages to come after he lets go, he keeps his hands in place, because maybe if he hurts enough here it will take away all the horrible tumultuous emotions that make him hurt more than this ever could.

I should fall. I should go inside, back to bed. I should stay. I don’t need to stay. I don’t want to stay. I can’t stay. I can’t-

“Jimmy?”

He doesn’t move, even as he feels his heart plummet.

Tango.

He’s so close. He should fall now. He screws his eyes shut, leaning forward. He needs to just do it a little more and-

Arms wrap around his shoulders and yank him back onto the block, holding him close. 

There’s silence across the roof as the two men breathe raggedly, one’s heart racing with adrenaline and the other’s beating fast like it was almost one step closer to never doing again. It hurts. He was so close, but now he’s not, and it hurts. Sharp spikes of pain lace through his arms as his nails dig in yet again, harder than ever.

Tango lets out a hiss, and dully Jimmy remembers that Tango can feel that now. He’s hurting Tango. Void, he’s hurting Tango and he’s so damn angry at himself for it but that just makes him want to dig his nails into his arms even harder until-

Warm hands wrap around his wrists, gently pulling his hands from his arms. “Hey, hey, don’t hurt yourself. Please, just- talk to me, rancher.”

It’s not fair.

It’s not fair that Tango is talking so softly to him despite them never having hung out before. It’s not fair that he doesn’t get this from those he’s known for years. It’s not fair that he has to keep hurting like this.

A drop of water lands on his arm, and he realizes with a start that he’s crying. A thumb gently swipes under his eye, wiping away the tears. “Let’s- let’s get down from here, ok?”

Jimmy barely manages a nod before an arm is wrapped around his waist. Slowly, Tango lowers them back down to the roof. Distantly, he realizes that Tango built up to him, wasting materials on him. He shouldn’t. Jimmy isn’t worth wasting materials on. 

He’s not even worth the air he breathes.

“Don’t say that.”

Of course he said that out loud. Of course Tango heard him. It doesn’t sound like Tango’s voice responding. It’s shaky, scared. “Jimmy, please, you don’t mean that.”

He should say he doesn’t.

He shrugs.

The wind blows. He’s so cold.

Until, suddenly, he isn’t.

Warm hands reach up, cradling his face, and it takes everything in him not to lean into the touch. He looks at Tango for the first time this all started, and Tango looks at him, really looks at him in a way no one has in a long time. “Please,” he whispers, hair flickering in the dark. “Please, talk to me.”

Jimmy pushes the words out, stubborn and unwilling though they are, screwing his eyes shut. “… I can’t do this, Tango. I’m sorry.”

“Hey, don’t apologize, that’s- that’s ok. That’s ok, we can talk to Grian, see if he can-“

“No.”

Tango’s tone somehow becomes even more earnest. “Jimmy, if you don’t want to play this time, you don’t have to- not if this is how it makes you feel.” 

“That won’t change anything, Tango.” Silence. “I’d feel this way whether I was playing or not.”

Tango stills completely beside him, and a sick part of Jimmy cheers, because he’s finally disturbed the one good thing this run has had going for him. He’s finally going to be alone again, like he’s supposed to be, like the universe will forever dictate. Tears continue to fall from his eyes, rolling off his cheeks and onto the hands holding him so gently. 

“How long?”

That’s the million dollar question, isn’t it? How long has he wanted to throw himself off buildings, wanted to drown himself knowing the others would just laugh it off as him being “classic Tim”? 

How long has he wanted to die?

“I don’t know.” He replies, because that’s all he can say. It’s the closest thing to an answer he has, because even though he knows he wasn’t always like this he can’t clearly remember the before. Only the bitter, numb, hopeless now.

“What-“ The words abruptly cut off, and he feels the temperature in the air slowly creep higher. “It’s the others, isn’t it?”

All the air leaves Jimmy’s lungs as he opens his eyes, meeting Tango’s again as he hits the nail on the head, the final one in his coffin. He does it before he can think of what it means, that it’s confirming that he’s too sensitive to take jokes, to the point where he’d rather die than let others have some fun. He realizes a split second too late as Tango’s eyes widen, the flames on his head sparking with renewed fervor. He waits for the words that will undoubtedly accompany the sparks, the anger and disgust that will come with wasting Tango’s time with his stupid, stupid emotions.

“I’m going to kill them.”

… no.

No, that can’t be right.

That can’t be what Tango is saying, all while holding him and talking to him and wiping his tears. That can’t be right.

Because-

“No, don’t. It’s not their fault. I’m just-“

“-Jimmy, don’t you dare finish that sentence.”

“But it’s true!” It comes out louder than he means it to, adding ‘yelling at Tango’ to the ever growing list of things he can hate himself for as he yanks himself out of Tango’s hands. The cold stings his skin.  “They’re just jokes! They don’t mean them to hurt. So if I am getting hurt, then I just can’t take it, because I’m weak and pathetic and I should just die!”

The words seem to ring out across the rooftop, the unspoken root of it all finally out in the open. All the things he swore he’d never let get heard are there, painful and raw and so, so messy, laid at Tango’s feet like the world’s most heretical offering, the kind that would get one cremated by holy fire for daring to even exist. 

But-

The warmth that surrounds him isn’t burning. It’s careful, firm, pressure around his waist and chest. It’s fiery and strong but not harmful, like he’s sitting in a blazing furnace who’s flames are guarding him from every spare speck of cold that could approach him. 

Tango is hugging him.

He can’t remember the last time a hug felt this safe.

“Jimmy, listen to me.” The murmured words pierce through his crumbled defenses and strike him right in his hurting, dying, bound soul. “You are not weak. You are not over-sensitive, you are not pathetic. You are kind, you are caring, and you would rather suffer to the point of death than let others know you’re hurting, but you are not any of those awful things you believe.”

He tries to talk, he does, but his brain is so overwhelmed by warmth, sadness, confusion, comfort, all the things he’s tried to keep at arm's reach, that all he can do is make a strangled whine of emotion.

“Shh, shh, I know, it hurts, it hurts. It hurts more than jokifying does, because a joke is only a joke if everyone is having fun. Jimmy, at that point they weren’t joking, even though that’s how they meant it. They were just being cruel.”

The stupid words won’t leave his lips, the questions and protests stuck on his tongue as he looks up at Tango. Somehow the man seems to know exactly what he can’t say as the blazeborn whispers his next words.

“You deserve to be upset, you deserve to be hurt by their comments. Jimmy, you deserve to live.”

The carefully crafted defenses break.

Jimmy collapses fully into Tango’s arms, gasping and heaving with great sobs as years upon years upon years of hurt and pain and anger spill out onto the blazeborn’s shoulder. He cries things, words he doesn’t even process besides his apologies and ranting and pleas, and Tango just rubs his back, sharp nails tracing gentle circles on his back in a way that only makes him cry harder.

The sun is rising by the time the sobs quiet down, leaving two soulmates holding each other in the dawn’s light. Tango’s fingers are running through Jimmy’s hair, and tears are no longer running down Jimmy’s face. The peaceful quiet isn’t shattered when Tango speaks up, instead gently crescendoed into a conversation. 

“You should talk to Grian and Joel about this.”

The canary immediately tenses up beneath his soulmate. “No, I can’t-“ He winces as his voice comes out strained, his throat raw from hours of crying. 

“Jimmy, I know Grian and Joel. If they knew they were making you hurt like this-“

“They’d blame themselves, Tango. I don’t want them to do that.”

“- I meant, they would stop making the jokes. They want you to be happy, rancher, but you have to tell them that it’s hurting you.”

“I can’t.”

Tango gently takes his face in his hands, guiding his gaze up to his own ruby eyes. “I’ll go with you if you need me to, but they need to know, otherwise the problem isn’t going to get any better.” He pauses. “Then again, if I explodificate them then they can’t make those jokes anymore…”

“No, no, no exploding my brother.”

“So I can explode Joel?”

“No!” Jimmy sighs, leaning his face into Tango’s hands. “… could you be there? Please?”

“Of course.” Tango smiles, brighter than the rising sun and kinder than he’s been looked at in ages. He’s warmer than the sun, too, filling Jimmy with a comfort and making him feel safe. He had forgotten what it felt like to be safe. 

He almost never got to remember.

There are still hard conversations he has to have. Telling Grian is certainly going to be full of tears from both parties, and Jimmy is not delusional- he knows it’s not always going to be like this, that he’s going to have to fight everything he’s come to believe about himself if he decides to trust that Tango is right.

Still, as his eyes drift shut, he finally lets himself believe that there’s hope for him after all.

[thot-farm]

I finally finished birthright. I hated it, but I am a biased Xander dick rider 🤷‍♀️

I spent Elise's birthday getting her killed in birthright instead of making a shit post edit.

I just don't get how Ryoma stood still so many times. Like I get it, honorable samurai and all, fair fight between Xander and Corrin, but the strongest Nohrian soldier is beating his sister/brother with an ancient magic sword that is as tall as F!Corrin, and Ryoma is standing there staring while he let it happen. (Image creds u/MSGold)

Like, what?! If he, the fast samurai with a lightning katana, just jumped in and blocked the "final" blow from Xander that probably would have killed or at least greatly injured Corrin, 1) Elise would have lived and been able to do Elise things, 2) HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A JACKASS STANDING THERE WHILE HIS SIBLING WAS ABOUT TO DIE! I don't hate Ryoma in every other route, but holy fuck I hate Birthright Ryoma. In the cutscene for the fight against Garon, bro tried to negotiate with Garon, of all people, to let Azura go, then he gets hit by a fucking fireball. Like for fuck sake dude get it together!

Maybe this is all steaming from them making Xander seem unstoppably strong and then the Reddit propaganda that Ryoma is on the same level or stronger. I don't believe that anymore after playing Birthright. Ryoma sucked and sassy birthright Corrin sucks too. Azura slayed, literally, she was the last unit left alive on the final battle for me, she fucked up that overgrown salamander.

And why in the route about justice prevailing and peace did Corrin not just make the Nohrian siblings come with her? Puppy eyes for Camilla on her first appearance and she would probably come with. Elise did come with. Corrin could have just dragged Leo with her or dangled Camilla in front of him and he would have come, or Camilla would have forcibly dragged him. If Xander was pitted against all his loved ones trying to bring peace to the lands or picking King Garon, he would probably pick his siblings, even if it would take a battle of him "knocking" sense into his siblings, looking at his siblings beaten down yet not giving up the fight for peace, and not giving up on hope for him even against his blade would probably let the "real" Xander's feelings out instead of them being stifled by the loyal crown prince of Nohr.

But that didn't happen, instead, Corrin lives with the guilt of Elise dying in her place the blood of Xander's glorified suicide on her hands, and a worse elder brother imo. But at least Ryoma is hotter, right? (Screenshots taken from Hawlo's video.)

Also, I get that Xander would have dismissed Azura's crystal ball probably like he dismissed soothsaying. (Screenshots from Xander/Nyx supports justonegamer)

But in his death quote he admitted King Garon had changed, he knew, and everyone else knew and was telling him so. So maybe that crystal could have given him the final push he needed to break free of his shackles to King Garon. (Screenshots from pheonixmaster1 chapter 26.)

Why oh why of all people did they show it to Leo and not Xander? Leo quite literally just disappeared, killed Lago, then disappeared again then came back and now he was king of Nohr. All could have been avoided if Leo told Xander to stop huffing copium.

Xander's death hit me harder than any other death in the game, I knew it was coming so I was tearing up the chapters leading up to it and through his death speech. Ryoma's I teared up a bit. Takumi I didn't realize died so it never set it. Elise I didn't cry, I was frustrated. Azura's death in Birthright was sad, but I was still recovering from Xander's death, and all of Ryoma's yapping afterward just made me angry. Who else dies? A bunch of side characters and enemies? Characters I couldn't give less of a shit about since I don't remember?

I don't know why, but I feel like the salamander form and the goo form should have been swapped for the route but I don't know how they would do that story-wise. I found birthrights last battle much harder than I did Conquest, but I did totally over level all the royals on Conquest, but I still had a level 30 defense boon Corrin with a strength/defense backpack get fucking obliterated on Birthright along with all my other units, which included my over-leveled Xander and Siegbert. The only survivors at my 2nd to last turn were my over-leveled dark flier Leo from my conquest run and my dark flier Azura with 8 hp left, but they beat down that ugly salamander anyway! But I was playing very aggressively in endgame (I sent all my units in different directions and expected it to be an easy sweep like conquest endgame was for me.) (Edit: I played endgame right and it was an easy sweep, I don't know what I did the first time to make it so hard, it may have been the grief of Xander's death clouding my brain's capabilities.)

If they ever remake fates for the switch, they should make it so we as the player get more impactful choices, similar to 3 houses, but I feel like there are so many instances where the player could make a choice that gives you a different avenue to the end or multiple endings instead of the only decision beings what side you pick, and if you pick conquest kill shura for boots or let Azura's kidnapper join you, hooray.

And if they remake the game for the switch they should show Xander with his cheeks out in the hot springs 🤭

(ETA: I was playing Conquest and Azura says to access the power of the crystal at will they need a 'powerful mage like Leo' or a person with 'potent dragon blood like Corrin', so they did give an actual reason as to why the crystal was given to Leo in birthright but you only get that explanation in conquest (I don't believe Azura explains jackshit in birthright but I could be wrong). But this does not explain if Corrin or Leo were to use the crystal, would have Xander been able to see it in some way? All of this just makes me wish there was like a Telltale version of Fates, it would fit the whole 'what if' theme so well and I would eat it up, even more than I ate up warriors 1.)

[curlytheintrovert]

My Favorite Papa Joel Moments (Pt.8): The Finale!

🦠 It’s the sweetest, most tragic thing that while Ellie is so closed off, Joel is so open. He’s trying so unbelievably hard to get her out of her PTSD head space…and it’s kills me how little it helps. Joel has finally accepted his role as her dad, he’s raw and heartfelt, his voice and mannerisms are even softer, but Ellie is just gone. (And Joel openly talking about Sarah?! It’s such a testament to how he’s opened himself for Ellie) It’s not until the giraffe scene that we see Ellie come out from the darkness, which shows how heart shattering it is that Joel’s sweet attempts has been so ineffective. And even when Joel’s happily looks at her laughing, he pauses and looks heartbroken, like he knows. It’s clearly what compels him to try and convince her they don’t have to go through with the plan for a cure. He doesn’t want her to break anymore than she already has, showing how he has always prioritized Ellie’s emotional well-being.

🦠 For how emotional and devastating this series has been, Joel’s confession was the one moment that really made me tear up. Joel admitting to trying to commit suicide explains EVERYTHING about his character. It gave a full, complete picture of him in a way that’s breath taking. Sarah, and in turn fatherhood, truly was his purpose—when he lost both of them something fractured. And it fractured so hard he wanted to die. He loves hard and it explains so fucking beautifully why he tried so hard to push Ellie away at first. It explains why he’s capable of ruthless murder. It explains why he’s so closed off. And it explains why loving and protecting Ellie felt like his downfall. Joel already lived through his downfall once, and he lived in the miserable aftermath for years and years. But when he says “It wasn’t time that did it” and his eyes just shine with love, it reinforced to me why a suicide attempt makes so much sense on his part: He’s hopelessly devoted to and in love with his children.

🦠 Joel’s binge killing through the hospital…there are no words. When I rewatched it a second time it brought me to tears. In my previous pt. 7 post I addressed how bone chilling Pedro’s performance at Lakeside is when he’s silent and flat eyed. And that exact same look occupies his face throughout the entire scene. It’s terrifying. I don’t even know if I see this man blink. The way it’s shot is cinematically perfect: the tragic music, how you don’t fully see rebels faces and sound is muffled. We are in Joel’s head space, we live in it more than we ever have. But the music really makes you understand how horrific it is…your heart breaks for the rebels but also for Joel too. He loves his daughter so much that he doesn’t see people, he doesn’t feel anything, it’s just Ellie. That’s all there is for him. Honestly my favorite shot of the entire show is the bullet casings falling around his eerily steady, calm footsteps. Like his humanity is crumbling one bullet, one life, at a time…Yet the best parallel is the distinct way Joel carries Ellie, and by extension Saran, bridal style through a similarly horrific situation, but this time he redeemed himself no matter the cost.😭 He saved his girl!

🦠 Now for the ethical question everyone will be discussing: Did Joel do the right thing? My favorite thing in the tlou podcast is when Neil talked about the test players for the game and their thoughts on the ending. It was a 50/50 chance for those without kids and 100% of those with kids agreed with Joel’s choice. I personally am a parent and am completely in agreement! As a parent there’s nothing you wouldn’t do for your child and it’s painted so beautifully in this episode. Joel killing and lying to keep her alive would have seemed like nothing compared to losing her, and I uncomfortably have to agree. No parent should be excepted to just accept their child’s death (and especially if you knew you had the capability to stop it!) I’m so sad but so interested to see where our favorite tragic father-daughter duo will go from here…season 2 is gonna be a doozy!

[wynsbackagain]

The Stupid Hurts Me...

(WARNINGS: Being Human US spoilers. A brief spoiling of the ending of Final Fantasy X. Me, a grown woman, being f*cked up by the ending of a mere cheesy television show. Mentions of death, self sacrifice, and characters deserving better.)

I don't like series finales in general, but especially not if a main and beloved character dies at the end. But IF Aidan Waite had to die, I'm glad he got the afterlife he deserved. And bear in mind, anyone who reads this, my favorite story of ever is Final Fantasy X, a game in which the main character basically dies at the end. So trust me. I'm NOT totally averse to narratives going in that direction.

However... How we arrived at this turn of events in BHUS... I'm sorry... It was clumsy as f*ck, imo. To the point where I kind of feel slapped it the face when i think about it.

The only reason Aidan needed to sacrifice himself, or rather the only reason he thought to do so, was because he knew he was dying anyway. But the only reason he was dying is because Sally gave her soul to revive him after she stopped him from killing Josh. Which never needed to happen.

After everything they'd all been through, and ESPECIALLY when they KNEW Ramona was messing with their minds... There was no reason Aidan should have just believed it when Kenny told him Josh had done something to Sally.

For one thing, Josh wouldn't have done anything to Sally. Secondly, exactly how was Josh even SUPPOSED to hurt Sally in the first place? She's a ghost, for cryin' out loud! Now, I could see it if Aidan just had a mental break after everything that happened, and wasn't thinking clearly. But if that's the case, it wasn't adequately demonstrated. And the whole process of him regaining humanity, not really getting to enjoy it, being miserable without Sally, and being afraid of his mortality... It's just painful and sad. There IS value in that. But only if it's done right. If it feels like it was for nothing, or like it happened because of something so stupid, it just feels unfair.

I actually misremembered how this all played out from having watched it before a few years ago. I actually thought that he regained his humanity like an episode or so BEFORE the finale, and that we got to see MORE of him being human (pun absolutely intended). I actually thought Sally possessing all those werewolves to help Aidan save Josh was something that happened because Aidan was human already and couldn't beat up a mob on his own (I also forgot that it was werewolves. I'd only watched it through once before like this September. Don't judge me.)

He and Sally could still, to this very day, be living their best Krav Maga-crime-fighter-odd-couple life, if Aidan had just used his head and thought. "Now, why, how, could this be true?" It feels like they just kind of forced the ending. And neither Aidan nor the audience deserved that.

Addendum: Yes I realize that Ramona needed to be taken care of. But the four of them could have figured that out together later.

[koorinokujira]

Okay okay hear me OUT WITH THIS ONE sooo what if reader has like some chronic illness the can't be cured and they know their time isn't much long soo they broke up with their girl/boyfriend well if it's marriage then let's say they had a divorced saying lies that they don't love them anymore but it's just a way from them to not let them get hurt, since it's better if it's the reader's who's getting sad since they'll soon die anyways rather than seeing their lover be sad about their death, BUUUT before they die they gave an anonymous present for them. what's ur thoughts and who do you think will suit this scenario the most?

The floodgates of angst have opened, and the main victim seems to be my inbox. All jokes aside, though, this seems fun, so I'll try my best! As for who fits the scenario, it can be basically anyone in my opinion. But there are certain characters I haven't really written about much (if at all), so I think I'll give them a spotlight! So in this one, we'll have Kenshin, Yukimura and Motochika take the stage! Of course, I haven't written about Oichi either, but the poor girl has been tortured enough, I'll put her in something more wholesome if I get the chance. Enjoy your angst!

𓉸 Lies and Sickness - SB Imagines 𓉸

You were dying. It took you a very long time to accept, but the way you grew weaker and yet were unable to rest because of the strange aching in your body... it pointed to something being wrong. Every healer you visited was unable to help you, so eventually you just accepted your fate. But what you couldn't accept was your beloved seeing you waste away and die. Tired, hurt, and absolutely not in the right state of mind, you broke off your relationship and left, but not before leaving a gift for him as your last farewell...

𓉸 Kenshin 𓉸

Kenshin squints his eyes but doesn't falter, his legs firmly pressing into the sides of his steed to make it go faster. The weather assaults his face and hands with waves of cold rain, and the howling wind cuts into his skin. But he doesn't care. He is on a mission now... and nothing will stop the warlord from completing it.

Everything used to be good between you two. He was an attentive partner that always made time for you despite often having to go into battle. When he fought, he fought even more ferociously than he did before he met you. All because he knew he needed to come back to you. And you returned his affections in kind. No moment was dull around you, even if you both just sat in silence.

And then it was gone. You've been acting strange for a good while... and then you suddenly came up to him in tears. Saying that this is not working out anymore, how you wish to leave, and how he should just forget you, because it will be better that way. He kept up his stoic facade well back then... but it hurt. Especially since you weren't able to explain what was wrong. Did he hurt you? Was something else in the relationship unsatisfactory? But you only said the most basic information, before leaving the room, and his castle as well soon after.

And he let you.

A bit of time passed, and on the servants brought him a small box one day. Found while cleaning one of the spare bedrooms, she tells him. When Kenshin opened it, he found a small sake cup. His favorite one broke around two months back and he complained about the lack of its presence a few times. This one was nothing like the one he used to own... but still very beautiful. Well made, clearly colored with expensive paints. But there was no indication of where it was from, who made it or who bought it.

Unless...

That's right, you both enjoyed surprising each other with small gifts. Neither of you said anything out loud, but you paid attention to what the other wants and needs, before your days were brightened by something that the other gave you or did for you based on what you found out. It was a wholesome game you played with each other, constantly trying to one-up the other. And you left him a sake cup... when you were leaving too, clearly. You never went into the guest rooms as you didn't need to, so you probably went into one before leaving.

You still cared. And something was very wrong.

With that realization, one thing led to another. Kenshin sent out some of his men to look for you and figure out what's going on. Eventually, they found you, staying at your aunt's place. She was your only living relative. And from what Kenshin was told, you weren't looking too well.

And that brings us to now, where Kenshin is battling the elements to get to you. The lights of the village are coming ever closer with each sound of a hoof hitting the ground. Closer, and closer...

There.

He's finally arrived. He ignores the few village commonfolk that are rushing home and staring at him as if he was some sort of apparition. He got clear instructions on where he should go, so he ties his horse to the nearest fencepost and rushes off to find you. It's a small, inconspicuous house near the center of the village. He doesn't bother knocking, though he does slip off his shoes quickly, before barging into the home.

He's met with a startled scream of your aunt... and the sight of you lying down, wrapped up in a thin blanket. You look weak, tired... in pain. Kenshin does all he can to cover up the emotions bursting in his chest, and kneels down beside you.

"I know not why you decided to run off like that... but please. Let me share this burden with you," he gently takes your left hand in both of his, and you can't help but let out a sob. Oh, how foolish you were to think you could deceive him. How foolish you were to run away. How foolish you were to think that a cup will replace your presence.

He'd rather starve and drink muddy river water with his hands if it meant spending more time with you, however fleeting it may be.

𓉸 Yukimura 𓉸

Yukimura doesn't understand.

One moment, you were laughing about something dumb together after yet another succesful battle, and the next you tell him that your relationship has to end and you're leaving. And the next... Sasuke delivers him the message that you had perished.

They weren't moments, really. These event stretched out for a long time. But now, at the end of it all, it all feels like seconds to him. The day you met, your first kiss, every battle you survived together... the long nights spent talking about everything and nothing. Even the way you teased him about still being just a cub, compared to the mighty tiger that Lord Shingen represented. Oh, how he misses that cheeky smile you had in those moments.

He hates that he didn't realize it in time. How tired you looked and why his beloved lord bid you stay in the castle instead of fight. That whenever he noticed something wrong, he let himself be brushed off so easily. How far does his foolishness reach? Of course you weren't okay.

And he's bitter about the gift too. The one you left him. A new pair of spears that fit in his hands as if he was born with them. This whole time, he thought they were from someone else- someone who wanted to cheer him up after you took your leave so suddenly. Sasuke would do something like that. Even his Lord would if he was concerned enough. Maybe even one of his other comrades.

But of course they were from you. You always admired how he wielded them, and oh, such a show off he was sometimes. But only for you.

Now, Yukimura holds them once more, staring at your headstone. He didn't even get to say goodbye, and that probably hurts the most. He would have been there. So why didn't you tell him?

Yukimura doesn't understand. But he knows that in some twisted way, you meant well. And so he will wield the weapons you left for him, and when he dies, you will have nothing to tease him about anymore.

He'll keep living as long as he can, and make you proud.

𓉸 Motochika 𓉸

You wake up feeling oddly... warm. You think that maybe you died already. Well, afterlife seems quite comfortable, you think to yourself. Until a jolt of pain forces your eyes open, that is. Not only are you still alive, still ill... you are face to face with Motochika. The one you tried to run from, to spare him from seeing you waste away. The one you wanted to grow old with, once.

The warmth comes from his arms, which are gripping you tightly, but not so much that it hurts.

"You're awake..." he gasps, before he grits his teeth, forcing his tears to stay in his eyes. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?!"

You have no answer for him, only managing to weakly look away. His breathing gets heavier, and you can feel his warm, half-bare chest rising and falling i nrapid succession.

"First you tell me this isn't working out anymore... then I suddenly find a nice gift in my cabin... and then the others tell me they found you half-dead in a boat that you stole from me," he continues, his voice filled with frustration. "Did you really think I'm so dumb I wouldn't realize who it's from? And were you really so stupid to think that a damn gift can replace you?! And that my love for you would just stop when you left?!"

His voice gets progressively louder, as it does when he's dealing with feelings that are too much for him. He never hid how he felt, unlike you. A roughly made, yet beautiful open book you could read over and over again. And right now, its words are those of sadness, guilt, regret... and undying love and devotion.

Please don't leave me like this, say his eyes, never again.

"You're such an idiot sometimes," he growls, before his voice softens once more. "But you're my idiot. And I was stupid too, for not noticing how badly you've been feeling. So stupid..."

Motochika holds your trembling body closer to him and runs his finger through your hair, the gesture meant to calm you both.

"Look... I'll admit, finding out you're really sick was hard. But I can handle it. I love you too much to just let you go. You're the greatest treasure I've ever found in my life... and I didn't even need a map this time," he huffs softly. "You're a part of my crew, the most important one... and the other guys missed you too. I might not be able to heal you but..."

The pirate pauses, his expression the most sincerely caring you've seen on him.

"Well, we are on a ship, right? I'll take you anywhere you want. We'll have one last adventure, even if I have to carry you. If you want to try anything you haven't yet, you can be damn sure we're going to do just that," he starts to look a lot more like his usual self. "I want you to sail away into the beyond with a grin on your face. And nothing will stop me from trying to achieve that."

Tears stain your cheeks by the time he finishes talking. You're weak, and in pain... but you won't be alone.

Maybe the real treasure in your life was the pirate you found along the way.

---

Well well well, look who finally deigned to post! Deepest apologies for not posting any imagines for a looong time. Those of you who have seen my update post know that school is kind of a nightmare for me right now (lots of work and big exams coming up), which is why I also closed off my requests for now.

But I finally managed to finish this request in my backlog, woohoo! And fret not, my dear readers, the next one will be more sweet than angsty! I will try to work on it as fast as I can, but no promises :D

Hope you enjoyed, and like always...

Have a spectacular day!

[mrdrhenwardhykle]

I was in a silly goofy mood, so here’s a Bad End/Goons Dragon’s Lair AU +drawings c:

(Body horror, blood, rotting flesh, +kinda sad tw ig)

Idk, this may be set up like partially disorganized DND stats

Hollow:

Alrightly, so the first one we're talking about is more of a remake/redesign on an established character in the franchise. 'Hollow' is a character from the possibly non-canon 3D game, and is like the evil Dirk or something (idk-I tried to look into it, but looking at this game for too long makes me cringe)

Yeah, this guy.

But instead of just being a recolor and a copy of whatever Space Ace did that one time, in my version he's just Dirk from an alternate timeline.

So basically, in this timeline either a. this follows one of the deaths where it doesn't fully show him die/just shows him fail and get stuck somewhere, or b. a timeline where Mordroc and his goons take another route and attack him all at once when he first enters

Anyways, Mordroc (with intention of getting another servant to his castle) gets to Dirk and places an amulet over his neck, explaining he just gave him the 'gift' of immortality; confusing Dirk, wondering why he just did that in the first place. In a turn of events Mordroc stands back and allows his goons to tear Dirk's eyes out and throw him in a random room.

With the amulet, the victim cannot remove it themselves- but have to rely one someone else taking it off for them. You can gain fatal injuries with the amulet and not die, but the injury will likely never heal (other than maybe bleeding stopping), and the one who wears the amulet will never have the pain ease.

'Hollow', as the inhabitants of the Dragon's Lair have come to name him, isn't inherently evil; nor has any forced villainy caused by the amulet, and is still just normal Dirk- but cannot hear or see, and is thriving off of desperation to leave the castle without adding anything else to his anguish. Having a good intuition at first, he has forced himself to concentrate enough so his instincts can help him 'survive'. But no matter who you may be, good or bad, Hollow takes no chances and swings first.

To survive, remember to be smooth and agile in your movements if you see freshly killed goons/knights, smell old blood and rotting flesh approaching, or hear a man crying, screaming in anguish, or calling out 'Daphne' or help. Remember that harming him only makes him more desperate and hostile. If you have his well being in mind, avoid harming him at all costs and just sneak and dodge- and barricade the nearest door if possible.

If you don't care and just need to get closer to saving the princess, just disarm him by cutting off his arms and/or legs but that's pretty cruel. It's actually frowned upon to do that and should only be the last resort.

You can actually befriend Hollow, and it's one of the most recommended routes (other than taking the amulet off yourself). To do this, you need to dodge his attacks, and reassure through some way of touch or presence to show you are a friend or to reassure that he's safe. Show though grabbing his hand or arm that you're going to be guiding him, and just stay in literal touch or out of range when enemies are near-and he should take care of the issue. If you are able to lead him out, let him know he's safe and comfortable before paying your debt by taking the amulet off.

It's unclear if you can save Hollow, as taking off the amulet will just let his fatal wounds catch up to him and instantly kill him (Aka the amulet keeps him alive). Asking most guides, they would just tell you that yanking the amulet off is the best you can do, as he's 'cheating' death and won't suffer any longer- but there may be a 1% in reversing it. That is, to begin the route; take Hollow out and find the best healing mange you can. It's hard to say if healing magic or medical attention can actually 100% help him out, as there's plenty of issues causing him anguish, and either magic or medical care can miss that. And that being said, it's likely difficult to find a good mange in the kingdom, and an even better mange to cure full blown missing eyeballs and other organs- and he might still live with difficulty. This isn't the most recommended route to deal with Hollow, but taking the chance is by no means frowned upon.

Any time Hollow gets close to the exit, a goon is sent to pull him back to another room to screw him up again. It's unknown if they would do this if he got close to the gold room. They've lost a few goons while doing this, but Mordroc insists in keeping him as a guard and a good selection to his 'collection' of knights.

Anyways, ignore the quality of my horrible colored pencil drawings

The Banshee Princess:

After Dirk's 'failure' to save her, Daphne officially became another new 'toy' to Mordroc's collection. Mordroc basically went through the same ritual as seen in the second game, and casted the Banshee curse on her through marriage. The Banshee curse itself forms out of loss and grief, and being that Daphne was in a slightly different position of grief (Aka, no children or husband to lose-but rather just a whole kingdom and boyfriend((?)) ) her form composed into a different and lesser variation.

After she was let out of the bubble, she claimed Singe's room-even to the point of becoming to agitated with him to the point that she killed him by eating him from the inside-out while he was sleeping.

This rendition of the banshee is smaller and more agile like a lizard; and can be found mostly at the back end of the castle. She can crawl on walls, and uses that to her advantage to sneak on her prey. While she can attack goons, she mainly aims for and lives off of knights (as Mordroc won't announce her change to the kingdom and also won't bother to come close enough to feed her).

Her scream is loud and shrill enough that it instantly paralyzes her victims- however she only does this at a very close perimeter.

Look for signs of the Banshee once you enter this area. Keep alert if you feel like your eyes are making up something crawling on the wall beside you. Don't follow if you hear a woman's voice crying out anything like 'help me!', 'save me!', 'mom!' or 'Dirk!'.

Unlike Hollow, there's more of a chance to save Daphne from this fate (albeit she will revert back due to fatal injuries). The one and only cure is a kiss of true love (maybe where befriending Hollow comes in,, but you can try if you wanted to ig)- but the issue with that would be in getting her to remember who she was before so she could stop attacking. Memories are quite rare to get, but it's at least worth the try. Memories are also quite temporary, and she'll just quickly revert back to her animalistic instinct if you're not quick enough to communicate to her.

The ring is no longer there, and the deadline for the ring to enact the curse is long past due. She ripped it off herself while she still had a little bit of control at some point.

Anyways, hope you enjoyed the random angst

:3

[angelbunny-stuff]

(Mcyt tag people I promise this is relevant to you just keep reading)

there’s also tw for death and self-alive’nt so keep that in mind it is a hunger games sim

So here I am, my friends convinced eachother to do a hunger games simulator run of our ocs, it comes to my turn and I put in my ocs into the sim. Everything is good they have cute pfps and all and I’m not expecting much from it.

As you can see, I also put a few characters from my watcher AU in the mix, this is purely because I ran out of my ocs to throw in, so I figured they’d get to like.. day two or so and one of my actual characters would win instead.

I made an offhand joke about how funny it would be if Grian killed scar like he seems to can’t stop doing in the life series Yk as they’re on different teams( I did this on purpose)

Little did I know, it would be worse

So I started the sim, and here’s a few highlights from day one

Pretty normal pretty cool right

And then, the sim decides to hit like a TRUCK outta nowhere

Yeagh. This sets the tone for the rest of this post btw, it only goes downhill from here

But before that- here’s some more cute highlights before more big sad tm (couldn’t give the actual ss because of discord’s new photo grouping thing)

And then, the arena event happens,

I was not prepared for it

But also during that event was the B plot of this post, Nathaniel’s revenge arc: (my sona also died in the hurricane)

By that point over half of the characters had died, and I was honestly rooting for my boy Nathaniel to win, let’s look at the rest of his arc shall we?!

Huh

Anyway, the very next day is the feast, which is where THIS happens

I was in shambles. Absolute shambles. As you can see.

YOURE RIGHT CHIP THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY FOREVER AND BOTH OF THEM WIN BUT NO!!! MUMBO DECIDED TO DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA. LEAVING GRIAN ALL ALONE GOD DHAMMIT.

here were my thoughts on the matter, I was being very calm and normal(lie)

So that was my day, I did not in fact expect myself to cry over a hunger games sim of my ocs and aus. So how was your day?

[thesoulofasurvivor]

The Last of Us episode 7, the left behind DLC!

everything is fine. I'm fine. no need to worry, I am okay. I am not okay. Riley and Ellie are literally the cutest fucking thing, nobody can ever convince me otherwise, these two are the cutest and I just love THEM GNRJKDGD

spoilers below

Alright. The only things I am unhappy with in this episode are basic things mostly unrelated to the episode itself, but with the series as a whole. Now I speculated this was going to happen since the second I watched episode 3... they are indeed rushing through the story. They are rushing through it like crazy.

Like I said in a different post, I think it was dumb as fuck that they changed the lore and yet again, another episode goes by where that lore is not utilized at all.

The infected are treated like unimportant sideshow pieces. They often talk about how dangerous it is outside the walls of the QZ, but where is that danger? There's barely any infected. There's barely any people. A dumbass with basically no survival skills could survive out there because according to the show, there's barely any danger at all. In the game, Riley and Ellie are swarmed by infected... the show? one measly stalker... or runner that was in transition to a stalker I dunno.

The pacing is just not good. It's being really rushed. They could and should have made 10 episodes with 70-90 minute episodes per episode. This episode alone could have been expanded to 90 minutes, we could have had Ellie's trip to the mall with an unconscious Joel and more.

They had the opportunity to expand on Riley's death, the opportunity was there to show us exactly what happened. Riley turning, possibly Ellie having to shoot her and Ellie meeting Marlene and Marlene discovering that she's been bitten. But they chose not to expand on any of this, which I personally believe was a mistake and a massively missed opportunity to give Ellie that little bit of extra character development.

Also, they removed one of my favorite lines from the game! It may be stupid, but I loved it and it was really one of the highlights of the interactions between Ellie and Riley in the photobooth! I loved it when the screen said "do you want to share it on facebook?" and they say "what's a facebook? maybe it prints our faces in a book?" I just really loved that and I am sad they removed it from the show.

Now... The episode itself, fucking fantastic. Don't get me wrong, I like to share my nitpicks, my dislikes, my disappointments but that doesn't mean I hate something or dislike the entirety of it. I LOVED this episode, and I would die for Ellie and Riley. Everything about their interactions this episode was such wholesome content and I am NOT okay.

Ellie being stupid happy and excited over an ESCALATOR? Stop. I loved that so goddamn much. The little hints we get that tell us that Ellie really likes and feels for Riley? Oh my godddd!! It's just SO sweet. I just love this pair so much. I have nothing but good things to say about them.

I don't have much else to say to be honest, I really enjoyed the episode, I loved it. My issues simply lie mostly with... Like, I dunno, "in general" topics regarding the show rather than episode-specific.