#i should stop getting into death games and being sad the characters die

[warriorlyy]

Yttd main game 2 spoilers ig‼️

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Ok so i really want to write a kanna lives route but sou also lives because damn it i want my two favs to lives

Itll be yk something something sara finds sou slumped over but he hasn’t expired yet bc i dont want him to. But while sara is shaking him awake (cuz hes passed out still just not dEAD) she awakens the Joe AI and is too surprised by that to realise sou isnt actually dead

Sou half wakes up from being shaken and blearily watches sara talk to joe or smth thinking like “am i dreaming???? Tf?????”

After joe ai sara somehow realises sous like not dead

Commotion and more ppl come including safalin and sou passes out b4 he hears that safalin isnt gonna finish the job

Im trying to figure out a reason *why* thatd be tho. Like mayhaps midori? The only issue there is that he didnt seem to care that much in the og emotion route just a “boohoo… anyways!” So im thinking maybe the game makers or whatever thought itd be funny seeing where this glitch goes and morbidly enjoy watching sou suffer or smth

ANYWAYS the matching game or whatever its called, see i *could* pair sou w midori but that means hell spend less time w everyone else…. And i want this whole thing to be abt sou somehow bonding w everyone bc DAMN im a sucker for found family

So sou and kanna r with kuramada bc we love him

I think id write pov shifts as well bc why not anyways

[chromunist]

I actually cannot imagine how solas fans and especially solavellans ACTUALLY think that solas tearing down the veil and getting what "he wants" is the best move for his character.

Like WHAT?! Have we played the same games? The entire point is literally that that is NOT what he actually wants, it is something he feels compelled to do because he is chained by his identity as the savior of the Elves and all the thousands of years of fighting in vain. This is his Dinanshiral (he said so himself); not a good thing actually, the path of death. He hates himself for not being strong enough to stop, he WANTS to be stopped. The inquisitor literally says this in the game, it is not subtext. He wants to be solas, defined by wisdom, who offers guidance and assists people, he does not want to be taking direct action, it is against his nature. Solas is sad, tearing down the veil is the mission that is fueling that, it will not fix him LOL.

Also it apparently needs to be pointed out that he is always referring to this as a "restoration" so sorry but no, tearing down the veil is not a metaphor for radical social reform, it is representative of a resistance to change itself. Resistance to the acceptance of the changing flow and imperfections of yourself, your life, and your identity. How dangerous it is to tie your identity to your performance. Solas wants to create an unchanging utopia and he is unable to accept the ever fluid and imperfect mortal thedas. He is not the rebel-who-went-too-far archetype sorry. He has become corrupt. Is his end goal nice and worth the mortal deaths? Arguably yes, but does that mean he should do it, that he actually wants to ? That it is the right place for his story to end. NO. Why? Because thats not who he is. Fen harel is not who he is, you must bring him back to solas. He wants to stop and offer wisdom, not fight a war and cause thousands to die. He is tired, he is broken. He desperately clings to his cause because he wrongly thinks he will be able to forgive himself if he makes it all mean something. But it wont; the whole point of the game is that it wont. Nothing will make him forgive himself, will take away the guilt. He has to learn to accept that he cannot be the perfect savior, that he is a person, that he is allowed to accept the forgiveness and love from the people who care about him (how rook escapes the prison where he could not; how he does not end up in the prison in atonement). He would never learn his lesson and never have peace if he tore down the veil. He would die alone, hated and sad; his worst fear.

There is something so so beautiful about a god who made the world by mistake, who in desperation and agony over a broken, unfair world coming from his actions, desperately tried to erase that mistake even if it meant its destruction. Coming to terms with his failures, and accepting the imperfect, changed, world he wrought and dedicating his immortal life to its protection. Stepping down from his place of responsibility (which he never truly wanted) over the state of existence and allowing mortals a chance to change and improve the world themselves.

[b0n3s-is-gay]

Another Maxson enjoyer I see! Always glad to see people appreciate him because he is a really interesting character, when you have some time maybe or you're down to write them some general (or smuty) headcanons for him? Either way hope you have a nice day!

Arthur is a gentle and slow man when it comes to relationships. He's an orphan, all his blood family is dead. When you get together, he's hiding all that softness beneath the title of Elder, wanting to protect himself. But some nights, you can see him smile while talking to you or the other leaders of the Brotherhood.

When you do get together officially, it's a reminder to Arthur that he's human... that he's got family and loved ones...

One night, after everyone has gone to sleep and you two have had some alone time (CUDDLES) with each other in bed, he cries. Not because he's sad, no. He cries because it's the first time he's allowed himself to be this vulnerable since he was 10 years old, crying in Sara Lyons' arms when he learned of his parent's death.

Arthur Maxson is a gentle, overprotective lover. If something happened to you anywhere in the world, he's wiping the place off the face of the earth. He can't go back to being alone again.

If Arthur ever left the Prydwen for any reason including no reason, he will be like a cat. If you mention a cat you saw or how you hated a deathclaw, he's going to either bring you a live animal or the creature's head on a plaque. He will walk into your quarters, toss the plaque or hand you the animal and kiss you before walking away.

He will overwork himself, distract him and pull him away. Then give the work that he's been stressing about to the others. If you don't, it's like a new man sits in front of you.

He's harder on you than he is the rest of the Brotherhood, he wants you safe and that means lots of training on your part. He can be convinced to tone it down after a month of your relationship.

Has a panic attack should you ever get close to death, like a hair trigger away from losing his mind because as I said, this man has Nobody left. Nobody.

"Please don't die, please don't fucking die... I can't lose you, I can't be alone again... PLEASE!"

Smutty HCs:

Arthur is pretty average size wise. About 6 inches and curved up just a bit, just enough to rub against your sweet spots. He's sensitive but has learned to

He's honestly a coin flip about what you'll get from Arthur. On days where you've been kept busy and away from him, he's going to be soft and gentle with it. When he's been stressed out and is in a "fuck-all" mood, he's going to keep you up long after you're overstimulated. He will only stop when you safe word.

Give him a blow job under his desk and he will take a moment to relax. He'll pour himself a glass of whiskey and stare at you while you blow him, his fingers in your hair and guiding your movements.

He doesn't have a breeding kink at first, but if you bring up the idea after a few years, he can be convinced to cream pie you until sunrise.

HE CAN BE SUBMISSIVE!!!! He's got a lot on his plate, a lot of people getting orders from him. Sometimes he just wants to execute orders. Will I explain? No, not in a million years. Not until the bombs drop.

His head game is fucking elite! He talks a lot of shit, but damnit his head game is ADFJKDFSADFJ. Will I explain this one either? No, not at all.

He's really good at after care, he's all about taking care of you as long as you do the same for him. He'll hold you close, rub your back, and apologize if he degraded you too hard. He'll kiss the crown of your head, clean you up, and just try and love on you until you pass out.

"I love you... I'm sorry if I did too much..."

Credits for the post dividers goes to @steviebbboi

[3gremlins]

it's been a minute since i replayed trespasser, but my understanding of the mark hurting the inquisitor was that it was basically a death sentence and solas taking their hand was just a stop-gap measure. Like it was an injury that wasn't ever going to heal and would get worse over time, but taking the hand stopped it for now. I wish they'd come back around to this a little bit- like not just with the solavellan romance, like going into the veil with solas might also be the best "cure" for the inquisitor too (for friendship ones or even rival ones who are like shoot, do i want to die sooner or live with my enemy longer kinda choices)

like perhaps because of the mark, they were becoming more *of* the fade daily, and if they went into it permanently, they would become something else and not die per se (but also not be the same as they were either).

def wish they'd done more with the inkys in general (if only to give them the badass prosthetic crossbow you get with the red jenny ending or something). the inky kind of suffers the way hawke suffers in dai- new players wouldn't have any attachment to them, so they didn't really give us much depth for them.

my ideal last of this era dragon age game ever would have been a 4 part narrative where you get to play a bit as each of the previous protags and then also as rook (or alternatively do a bit of the game AS solas to give him a little more background instead of just this random new character) working together to give you bits of the narrative/story/empathy.

This would also fix the "how do we get new players" problem- you'd introduce them to these 3 people who are at the end of their journeys, but it'd give you enough to want to go see how they got there. This would also be satisfying for returning players b/c everyone's already invested in the 3 other protags (prob a nightmare to write but like there's always the bioware canon for defaults).

veilguard was okay for what it is/how much time they really had for it but ah that artbook makes me sad. what we couldve had if it'd had a little longer to cook (see: art doesn't really work under capitalism, the point should be to make good art not to make money at it. esp with companies never being happy with good enough profits like it's just a bad formula)

[xoxoavenger]

Make It Out

pairing: Steve Harrington x Fem!Reader, bestfriend!Eddie Munson x Fem!Reader

summary: They’re gonna take down Vecna this time. But before they do, Y/N has to chose between going with her best friend Eddie or her boyfriend Steve, and she has to live with the fact that not all of them will make it out alive.

word count: 7956

warnings: follows the events of ST4 finale so major character death and canon typical injuries, gun shot wound, lotsa blood, lotsa angst with some fluff

masterlist

"I'll understand if you want to go with Eddie." Steve said, keeping his gaze on the road in a way that meant he 100% wanted her to stay with him.

"How're your bites?" Y/N asked, casually deflecting the conversation. He had finally been able to put on a shirt and get some shoes, but Y/N knew that there was still a lot of blood underneath. Blood she had wanted to clean, to take care of his wounds, but there just hadn't been time.

Also, Steve hadn't allowed her to even look at them.

"Oh, just great. Ya know, I wanted to lose weight anyway." Steve joked, but Y/N didn't think it was funny that the demobats had literally ate at his flesh.

"We should go to the hospital." She said for the billionth time. She'd been trying to get Steve to go to the hospital ever since they got back.

"Y/N," Steve sighed and didn't finish his sentence, lifting one of his hands off the wheel to rub his forehead. He didn't have time to go to the hospital. Max was going to die, and if Max died then a lot of other people were also going to die and Steve wasn't going to waste precious time sitting in the ER for a couple stitches.

"I'm serious, Steve!" She lowered her voice as Eddie and Dustin looked up, realizing the couple was fighting. "I know you want to be the hero, but for once, can you please look after yourself?" She begged, sadness lacing her words as her throat constricted at all the memories of Steve being beat up. The newest one, the image of Steve being feasted on by bats, made her heart hurt every time she closed her eyes - it was as if the scene were painted onto her eyelids.

"Is that why you won't go with Eddie?" Steve asked, and Y/N let the silence draw out as her answer.

She would never admit that she wanted to go with Steve to stop him from sacrificing himself, but in that moment he knew that's exactly what she was thinking. Robin and Nancy were good friends, but Y/N was the only one who could stop him from giving his life on a whim - which scared him, because Steve, if he was honest, was the hero type. He took the beatings to keep his friends safe. From the moment that he was thrown into this mess, he knew that he would do anything to protect his friends from these creatures that just would not stop.

Unless, of course, Y/N was there with him. That may make him hesitate - or it may make him more reckless. It would throw off his game, make him second guess moves just to keep her extra safe, because if she died and he didn't he would never forgive himself.

However, he knew of one other person who felt the same way about Y/N - just without the romantic part. Steve knew that her idiot best friend, Eddie Munson, would protect her and Dustin, no matter what the 'freak' claimed. And when it came to Y/N, Steve was selfish. He needed her safe.

"You're going with Eddie." Steve repeated, but this time, it wasn't a suggestion or a question. It was final. And although just a minute ago he wanted her to go with him, they had both realized that she would see right through him if he was going to sacrifice himself.

"Uh, no." Y/N scoffed, not realizing she was getting louder. "I will go with whoever I chose." She crossed her arms, fire filling her head. How dare Steve think he could make that choice for her.

"You're going with Eddie or you're babysitting Erica. Those are your two options." Steve said as he pulled over in a field.

"Hey!" Erica yelled from the back, only hearing the last part of their conversation. At this point, everyone was shamelessly listening.

"You are not my keeper, Steve." Y/N was practically seething at this point. She was angry that Steve didn't want her to tag along, especially if it was the end of the world. She stood up, knowing that if she stayed in the van any longer she would probably begin to cry tears of frustration, and that was the last thing she wanted.

"Y/N!" Steve called as she opened the door and walked out, glad that she was able to make it a couple steps before the tears started really falling. They weren't all the way up the hill, so she trudged the rest of the way to sit at the top with her back facing the van. They could leave and she would only be able to turn and watch.

She sat there for awhile, letting her tears flow. Part of her liked this, being alone, but part of her wanted to be with Steve. Chances were, someone is gonna die, and even in the unlikely event no one does, they could still fail and the world could end. She heard footsteps, and she wiped her tears, not knowing who was coming up on her.

"Y/N," At Max's voice, Y/N instantly felt regret creep up her spine. Here she was, crying on a hill, when Max had one foot in the grave. "Can I sit here?" Max stood next to her, and she nodded, watching the younger girl take a seat.

"How're you holding up?" Y/N asked, trying to keep her voice from cracking.

"As good as you can expect when an evil demon is trying to take over your brain and kill you." Max shrugged with a light smile, and Y/N's heart tugged. Max was so young, she didn't deserve this.

"So, great, I'd imagine." Y/N joked, smiling when Max let out a small chuckle.

"Listen, I-I didn't want to say anything in the van, but," Max began picking the grass, not looking at Y/N. "I want you to come with Lucas and I to the house." Max finally looked up, and Y/N's heart completely broke. She looked scared out of her mind, and Y/N swore that if she somehow ever found Vecna herself, he wouldn't be making it much longer than a couple minutes.

"Max," Y/N wanted to reach out, but with Max's arms around her knees it was hard to figure out a good place.

"Steve didn't send me to ask, if that's what you're thinking." Max quickly rushed out, and Y/N gave a sad smile. Steve wouldn't send anyone to talk to her for him, he'd do it himself. "I just, I want someone there, who knows what they're doing." Max looked up at Y/N, who had furrowed brows. Why did Max think Y/N knew what she was doing?

"I'm not sure I follow," Y/N led off, voicing her thoughts.

"Well, you can drive us to the house, which will help. And Lucas is great, and I want him there still. But I need someone else there, someone to comfort me when I come out, someone who will stay calm." Max looked away before taking a deep breath. "And if I don't make it, I want someone there to comfort Lucas - not just his sister."

"Max," This time, Y/N felt dread as well as sadness flood through her. She remembered what it was like to be Max's age - she had a huge crush on Steve, but she obviously couldn't tell her best friend Eddie, who would have never approved at the time. Eddie wouldn't find out about her crush until three years later, when she let it slip that she had made out with Steve at Melissa's party. And even though Eddie didn't approve and he wasn't pleased, he let Y/N and Steve have their fun, ready to pick up the pieces if it ever failed.

There were some nights when Eddie was sure they were over, some nights when he thought about going to Steve's house and smashing a glass over his head to try and make him understand that Y/N wasn't the kind of girl you played with. But nevertheless, Y/N and Steve were still together, her and Eddie were still best friends, and Eddie had never hurt Steve (even if he had thought about it multiple times).

But that was the biggest thing she had to deal with. And now - now the biggest thing should have been college. She should be across the country right now at a nice university. But she couldn't leave Steve and Eddie, especially after they found out what was going on in Hawkins.

"Of course I will be there for you." Y/N scooted closer and put a comforting hand on Max's shoulder. "I will be there for you every time you ask me, whether it's something like this or if it's because you can't find a tampon and you don't want to bike to the store." She smiled when Max grinned, looking up and leaning closer. "Hell, after all this, you can move in with Steve and I." Y/N felt her hurt burst at Max's face.

"Really?" Max asked, half joking and half being serious.

"Yeah, totally." Y/N turned, finally looking at the group. Most of them were behind the van, obscured from view, but Steve was on the edge of everything, arms crossed and body faced so that he could keep an eye on Y/N and Max as well as the rest of the group. Y/N felt her heart float as she looked at the man, letting her hand drop as Max turned.

"What do you think Steve will say?" Max asked, a small smile on her face as she thought about living with the people who had filled in for her in the way her family never had.

"Oh, he'll agree." Y/N nodded, watching Steve turn and look at them even if he couldn't hear them. "We just need to convince him."

~

"I'm a little mad you're not coming with me." Eddie said, all geared up. They were about to leave, just saying their final goodbyes.

"If I went into the Upside Down, how could Steve be the hero?" Y/N joked, trying to take the edge off of their somber goodbye.

"Yeah," Eddie chuckled, looking around as Lucas and Max said their goodbyes. "I guess I'll just have to play the hero. For Dustin, of course." He smiled, and Y/N tried to smile too. It was watery, and tears were quickly spilling out of her eyes, even though she wasn't blinking.

"Please don't try and be a hero, Eddie." Y/N whispered, looking up at her best friend. He sighed as he met her gaze, tears in his eyes that he would never shed. She knew she was being selfish, but she didn't care in that moment. If Eddie or Steve died while she was sitting around, she would never be able to forgive herself.

"Come on, Y/N. I've been running from things since 1966. Do you really think I'm gonna stop now?" He put his arm around her and pulled her into a hug, where she cried into his shoulder. "Besides, someone's gotta keep your boyfriend safe while he's doing the heroic shit." Y/N let out a little laugh, mostly just to make Eddie feel better. Her stomach was torn with sadness and dread, and she wanted to go back to a couple days ago when her, Eddie, and Steve had all gotten high. They weren't worrying about crazy demons then, and she didn't want to worry about crazy demons now. She wanted to go home.

"Promise me you'll come back." Y/N whispered, pulling away from the hug to look at him.

"Of course," Eddie squeezed her once more before looking over at Steve, who was staring at Y/N. "I think you should probably say goodbye to your boyfriend now." Y/N let go of Eddie and turned to see Steve, who gave her a small smile. Just the thought of losing Steve, of having to say goodbye to him, made Y/N cry even harder.

Steve must've seen when she thought about it, about the fact that they were really saying goodbye, and instantly rushed over to her, pulling her into his arms. He held her tightly, squeezing his own eyes shut in an attempt to stop the tears.

"It's not really a goodbye," He whispered to her, pressing a kiss to the side of her head so that he didn't have to remove her from his arms at all. "I'll see you in a couple hours." He sounded so sure, so calm, that it made Y/N breathe better.

"You better." She muttered out, pulling back only enough to be able to look at him.

"I'll even be able to hear you, in the Upside Down. I'll be keeping an eye out for you." He moved one hand to cup her face, the other staying put around her waist. She moved both of her hands to the sides of his neck, eyes welling with tears once more.

"But who's going to look out for you?" She whispered this part, speaking softly so that Nancy and Robin didn't hear. It's not like she didn't trust them to take care of Steve, but she knew that Steve would sneak himself to be in harms way before either of them even knew he was in danger. And by the time they figured it out, Steve could already be dead.

"I'm going to be fine, sweetheart." Steve was starting to choke up, so his voice was soft and high pitched as he moved the hand on her face to push her hair back. "Do you hear me? I'm going to come back to you." He didn't let her respond, instead kissing her like he would never see her again.

Because maybe it was the last kiss he would have, the last one he would share with her.

"I'm coming back." He whispered as he pulled apart. He knew his face was wet from her tears, because his tears were trapped. He wouldn't let her see him cry.

So, he gave her one more kiss, one last squeeze, one last 'I love you,' and then watched her turn around. She was taking his car to drive Lucas, Erica and Max to the mansion, and as she pulled out Steve wanted to tell her to stop, to go home so that she was safe.

She would never listen anyway.

~

Out of all the bad ideas they'd ever had, this was probably the worst. But, it was the only way to stop Vecna, the only way to save Hawkins - because apparently that fell on them now.

Y/N had heard the car pull up, and she immediately looked out the window. Erica was no longer at the lookout, and she realized quickly that it was Jason Carver's car.

Fuck.

"Lucas, you stay here, okay?" Y/N said, rushing to the door. It was too late, however, because Jason was walking in anyway.

"Jason?" Lucas asked, obviously confused as to why his teammate was stalking him.

"Leave. Right now." Y/N stood in front of Lucas, making it so that if Jason wanted to get past her he would have to physically harm her.

"Well, if it isn't King Steve's little pet." Jason spat out, trying to get into Y/N's head. She simply crossed her arms, still staring at the blonde man. "Or has the freak possessed you now?" That made Y/N pissed. The fact that Eddie was risking his life for a town that would never respect him made her blood boil.

"Jason, I would rather be actually possessed than spend another second in your presence." Y/N tilted her head, taking a deep breath and knowing this wouldn't end well. "So, you can either leave, or you can feel what it's like to be punched by a girl." Her smile was deadly, but as Jason glanced over her shoulder at Max, he had made up his mind.

"I'm not letting you freaks kill someone else." Jason began to move past her, so Y/N swung the best she could at his face, catching him off guard.

Not too off guard, however, because it only took a second for him to recover and pull out a gun.

"Hey!" Lucas yelled as Y/N lifted her hands, backing up. She looked over at Max, who was still in a trance, and then back at Jason, who was unwavering.

"Jason," Y/N muttered, her legs feeling numb from shock. Her heart was pounding.

"Wait, wait, wait," Lucas whispered under his breath before getting louder. "You don't have to do this. You don't have to do this, man." They were now side by side, hands up and keeping an eye on the gun.

"Yeah, I hope you're right." Jason told them.

"Wait," Y/N spoke out of breath, heart racing. She thought about if Steve could hear what was going on, if he was in the house. She hoped he wasn't, that he wouldn't hear if she was shot.

"Is there anyone else in the house?" Jason asked, stepping forward.

"No, no." Lucas shook his head in tandem with Y/N, who was afraid she was going to pass out from stress at this point.

"Turn around." Jason motioned with the gun, and Y/N shut her eyes tightly.

"What?" Lucas muttered, setting Jason off.

"Turn around!" He yelled, and Y/N quickly did as he said, eyes still closed.

"Okay, okay. Relax, relax." It was obvious that Lucas was just as stressed as Y/N was, and he turned around slowly.

"And put down your flashlight." Jason ordered loudly. Y/N did as she was told, tears beginning to fall out of her eyes.

"Steve, I don't know if you can hear me, or if you're here," Y/N started off. She had never been this afraid for her life - of all the things going on in Hawkins, all the messed up supernatural shit, she was going to be killed by a teenager with a gun. "But, if you are, I want you to know I love you." She was whispering, hoping Jason couldn't hear her.

"Stop muttering and empty your pockets!" Jason yelled, and Y/N reached into her empty ones, turning them inside out to show they weren't full. Random shit fell out of Lucas', and when Y/N spared a glance at him she saw he was shaking. "Now, here's what's gonna happen. I'm gonna back away to the top of the stairs there. Then I'll watch as you wake her up from whatever the hell this is." Jason ordered, and Y/N just shook her head.

"We can't." She said, trying to keep her voice from shaking or breaking. Lucas turned around to face Jason, and Y/N risked the same.

"Jason, if we wake her too soon, we all die." Lucas was speaking as if Jason was a child, but the blonde still wasn't understanding. The gun was still pointed toward them, and they were still without a plan.

"No. If you don't wake her up right now, you die, Sinclair." Jason threatened, his gun solely on Lucas now. Jason pulled the safety off, and Y/N felt her heart leap to her throat.

That's when the stupid idea popped into her head. And boy, was it stupid.

"I'm sorry, Steve." She whispered, just in case he was there. Because if she made it through this, if Steve heard what she was about to do, she would be waking up with his nightmares for awhile.

And then she dove at Jason.

She had crouched down a bit, so his first shot went over her head. However, she wasn't as close as she needed to be, and his second shot skimmed the far side of her left leg. She groaned, but still went to hit him, able to knock the gun out of his hand. Jason took the time to hit her, not holding back. His punch hit right on her cheekbone and temple, and she felt herself already begin to be dizzy. One hit wasn't enough, however, because he hit her again, in the same spot, and that knocked her out cold.

~

When she woke up, there was extreme pain in her leg and Lucas was screaming. She was still pretty out of it, but in a couple seconds she could also see Erica in front of her face.

"Y/N?" Her voice was swimming around her head, as if they were all emerged under water. "Steve is coming, he knows you're hurt." Erica was holding Y/N's head gently, since the left side was a giant bruise. She could feel her eye almost swollen shut, and her skull ached immediately.

"Steve?" Y/N asked, hearing an ambulance in the background. If Steve was on his way, and Erica was in here with them, that meant that it was over. "Did we win?" She asked hopefully. She couldn't see Erica's face very well, but she knew the silence and the small sniffles weren't a good sign.

Suddenly, it made sense that Lucas was crying.

"Shit," Y/N tried to sit up, but it felt like her body was light and her head was heavy. Her wrist was aching, but not as much as her leg. She had to look down to remember that she had been shot, and she couldn't get up. All she could see was the fuzzy outline of Lucas holding Max's body.

"Do you hear that?" Erica muttered, looking around. Y/N tried to focus on staying alert, listening as best she could. She heard the ambulance outside, but nothing else. It didn't take long before she heard the ground split, however - well , felt it at least. She turned to see Lucas moving Max away and watched the ground fall beneath them. She watched as it split Jason in half, and it made her heart race. They had officially lost.

She felt her heart fall all the way to the Upside Down when she realized that Steve and Eddie weren't back.

"We have to go," Y/N grunted as she looked out the opening the wall, watching the crack continue to grow and destroy everything in it's path. She looked down to see the ambulance, broken apart, so it would be of no help to them.

"We can't go!" Lucas yelled, voice breaking. "Max, she's alive!" He begged, and Y/N felt tears come to her eyes.

"Lucas," She started quietly, pausing to wince as pain throbbed once more through her leg. She needed to get pressure on it now, or she wasn't going to make it. "If Max was alive, there wouldn't be a giant tear in the ground." Y/N wanted to curl up in Steve's arms and get high with Eddie and never ever thing about this again.

"She's not! You can feel her pulse!" Lucas argued, and Y/N sighed, eyes closing tightly. It hurt slightly due to the fact that her left eye was already swelling, but it took away from the pain in her leg just a little.

"We need to go, Lucas!" Erica said, and Y/N could hear the pain Erica was trying to hide.

"Erica, you have to help me." Y/N muttered, shedding her long sleeve shirt and leaving her in a camisole. She felt her wet skin, sweat, but she was cold - she knew this was a bad sign. "I need you to tie this as tight as you can around my leg." She fastened the shirt so that the thick part was around her wound. The pain of the fabric bruising against the open wound made her almost pass out, and she fell backwards slightly.

"Why?" Erica asked with a shaky breath, hands going to grab the sleeves of the discarded shirt.

"I can't do it," Y/N whispered as if that would explain everything, leaning back and taking a deep breath. "We don't have anything to gag me with, so I'm gonna scream. But you have to keep going, alright? We have to stop the bleeding." Erica looked scared out of her mind, and Y/N would have felt bad if she wasn't bleeding out.

God, she hoped she wasn't going to bleed out.

~

Meanwhile, Steve was biking as quickly as he could to Eddie's trailer, tears in his eyes. Erica had told him that Max was dead and Y/N had been shot before Jason knocked her out. Their plan didn't work, and now the only thing left to do was hold Y/N while the world ended.

"Steve!" Dustin's voice made Steve's heart drop, because why wasn't the kid in the trailer? What the hell was wrong with him and why didn't he listen? The group pulled off to where Dustin was yelling from, realizing too late why Dustin was on the ground.

"Oh God." Robin said softly behind him. For a moment, Steve wasn't sure what to do. It was obvious that Eddie was dead, that they couldn't help him. Eddie, the guy he thought was a freak in high school but had since become close friends with. His girlfriend's best friend. Dead.

Steve didn't think before he began biking again, feeling tears sting his eyes and his lungs practically collapsing. If he stopped, he was going to throw up, and he needed to get to Y/N, make sure she was okay.

"Steve, what are you doing?" Nancy asked, voice cracking as she dropped her bike. Steve dropped his bike, running up stairs, opening the gate and going into the trailer.

"Steve, we have to go back and help Dustin." Robin said as the girls followed him into trailer. Steve looked at the spot where the sheets used to be; their ticket out of there, gone.

"Where the hell are the sheets?" He asked, looking around. He found half of the sheets thrown on the ground and grabbed them, hoping they'd be long enough.

"Are you listening? We have to go help Dustin." Nancy went to grab his arm, and he just pushed her away.

"Help him what, Nance? We can't do anything for Eddie. My girlfriend is dying on the other side, and I need to help her." Steve's voice was cracking, his throat hurting on the inside and out. He quickly threw the short rope up, and realized it would only stick out a bit on the other side. He would have to jump down and somehow avoid the chair that was also sitting in the landing area.

"Help him bring back Eddie's body." Robin argued as Steve jumped up, beginning to climb.

"How?" Steve grunted as he pulled himself up, trying to ignore the aching throughout his whole body. His shoulders still stung every time he moved his arms, but his adrenaline was high. He had one mission. "How are we gonna get his body out of the Upside Down and then explain to everyone how he died?" Steve flipped over to the other side, trying to avoid the chair. He let out a grunt as he hit it against his knee before moving it out of the way and replacing it with a mattress for the girls.

"Steve! Seriously?" They yelled up to him. Part of Steve knew that they were right, that they shouldn't leave Eddie and Dustin and they had already lost, so there was no need to return to the real world any time soon. However, his rational thought was being taken over by the fact that his girlfriend was dying and if she survived, he would have to tell her that her best friend is dead.

"I have to check on Y/N." He said before taking off.

"Why did he leave?" Dustin cried out as he ran into the trailer.

"Y/N was shot. Erica said she was knocked out, that she got into a fight with Jason and he clocked her after he shot her leg." Robin said, her voice high and tight as she filled Dustin in.

"Shit," Dustin put his hands over his eyes, and the older girls could tell he was crying.

"I know you want to bring Eddie back, but Y/N really needs our help." Nancy said, also feeling torn. She knew that Eddie deserved to be taken out of the Upside Down, but Y/N was alone with Lucas and Erica and neither of them could take her to the hospital.

"We can't let her die too," The way Robin said it made Dustin let out a sob, and the girls felt their hearts break for him.

Nancy and Robin helped Dustin up the rope, then followed him so that they were all together.

"What is he doing?" Nancy asked as they walked out of the trailer, watching Steve run around.

"Steve!" Robin yelled out, going to help her best friend. Steve acted like he didn't hear Robin - maybe he didn't - and continued to look around. "Steve, what are you doing?" Their escape plan had been the bikes leaning against Eddie's trailer, but Steve seemed to be looking around.

"We need a car," His voice was so low that Robin could barely hear him, and she just shook her head.

"We don't have a car." She reminded him gently, but he sighed and finally stopped, looking at her. She realized in the dim light that he was crying, his face red and eyes puffy. "We have the bikes. We need to go try and meet them at the mansion. Then we'll have your car." Robin was trying not to cry, because she had to be strong for her best friend. She was sure as he stared at her that he was going to have a meltdown.

"Yes. The bikes." Steve nodded, going to the bikes where Dustin and Nancy were already picking up theirs.

"We're gonna get there. She's gonna make it." Nancy tried to soothe Steve, but he wasn't listening. He just grabbed his bike and began to go quickly, leaving the rest of them to catch up.

~

"Okay," Erica grabbed the sleeves of Y/N's thing sweater she had taken off, pulling tight as she crossed them to tie it around the older girl's thigh. Y/N let out a whimper, gritting her teeth in pain. Tears were falling down her cheeks as Erica tied the sleeves as tight as she could, and Y/N finally let out a scream, fingers scratching the wood floor as she tried to grab onto something.

"Fuck!" Y/N yelled out, head tossed back and eyes closed in pain.

"I'm so sorry," Erica was crying now too, trying not to pay attention to the fact that Y/N was screaming in pain and Lucas holding Max's body, still crying.

"It's okay," Y/N whimpered as Erica had finally finished. Her leg felt like it was on fire, her thigh under the wound was practically numb. She could feel the blood everywhere, and even if she couldn't the black spots and floaty feeling gave her an idea of how much blood she had lost and how much pain she was in. "We need to go," She finally said, opening her eyes and looking at everyone.

"How? Where are you gonna go?" Lucas asked, and when Y/N turned she realized he was right, Max was breathing even if her eyes were bleeding and her limbs were broken. Holy shit.

"You and Erica are going to carry Max down to Steve's car. Then we'll drive to the hospital." She said it as simply as if she were going to take them to the movies. The only difference was the breaking in her voice from the pain and screams.

"Who's gonna drive us?" Erica asked, confused about how this plan was going to work.

"Luckily," Y/N took a deep breath before getting up on her own, letting out a few whimpers as she did so. She made sure to keep her weight off her leg as she stood, but now that she was up the pain seemed to be radiating all the way up her leg. She grimaced and squeezed her eyes shut, fingers clenching so hard that her nails were causing divots. "You don't need two feet to drive," She tried to smile at the kids, because this was traumatizing and she was not going to pass out and potentially die in front of these kids.

And thus, her adrenaline kicked in.

There was no other way to describe it, the way she was able to walk down the stairs and make it all the way to Steve's car, only using the railing and a couple walls for help. She limped heavily, tears falling down her cheeks because even though she was hopped up on her adrenaline, the pain was still almost too much to bear. She was surprised to make it to the car, unlocking the doors quickly to let Lucas and Erica into the back with Max. She lowered herself into the drivers seat as quickly as possible, which was slow. Once she was sitting down, her leg seemed to kick up in pain, and she hit her head against the the seat header, biting her lip to try and keep from screaming. The pain in her face was minuscule compared to the way her entire leg was practically on fire now. The only reason she hadn't given up was that she had to get the kids to safety, and then she would see Eddie and Steve. Hopefully.

"Okay," She muttered to herself, trying to keep her eyes open as wide as she could. She put the car in drive and quickly pulled out and onto the road, trying not to move her affected leg much. She was glad it was her left leg, the one she didn't drive with, because then she wasn't sure what would happen.

"Y/N," Erica was right next to her, and when Y/N jolted she realized that she was falling out of consciousness while driving. Shit.

"I'm not gonna make it to the hospital," She muttered, braking and putting the car back into park. Her head felt so heavy, heavier than it had ever been, and she realized she was swaying as the pain was seeping out. She wasn't sure if her eyelids were closing or if black dots were enveloping her, but she knew she wasn't gonna last long. She had started shivering at some point, even though the heater was on in Steve's car.

Oh God, she was going to die in Steve's car.

"No, please, Y/N, just stay with us." Erica grabbed Y/N's shoulder, shaking when Y/N's eyes slipped close. They opened slowly, her head rolling against the seat and facing Erica.

"I'm sorry," She whispered, because she was. She just wanted to get the kids to safety. She hadn't been able to protect Max like she promised, but she wanted to at least get the younger girl to a hospital, give her a chance. She was just so exhausted, and her body was so heavy, and she had been trying to be alright for too long. She was fading fast, and unless somehow Erica and Lucas could get her to the hospital soon she knew she was a goner.

"They'll be here soon, Y/N, I promise, just, please don't go to sleep." Erica was begging, something she never did, which was how Y/N knew it was bad. She looked down to see her makeshift bandage almost soaked completely with blood, a terrible sign.

"You have to tell Steve I love him," Y/N's voice was weak, and it scared Lucas and Erica.

"Y/N, you have to get us to hospital!" Lucas pleaded, tears still in his eyes. He felt like he had been crying for years at this point, his throat hurting and his chest feeling tight.

"I'm sorry," Y/N whispered, eyes closing again. She was sure she was never going to open them again when Erica yelled out.

"They're here!" And then she put her hand on the horn, letting out a loud honk. Y/N didn't startle as much as open her eyes slightly once more. She was able to make out her friends across the street, running toward her and ditching the bikes they had stolen.

"Steve," Y/N muttered out, a smile on her face. At least she would see Steve before she died.

"Oh, fuck," Steve said as soon as he opened the driver door to see his girlfriend, sweat coating her body and bleeding out in his front seat. She was pale and shivering, and Steve wasn't even sure what to do. She had a large bruise on her face, and he could tell that her left eye would be almost swollen shut even if she was able to open it all the way now.

"Shit," Robin said from behind him, seeing the blood soaked shirt and the state Y/N was in.

"We have to get to the hospital!" Lucas yelled from the backseat, everyone turning to him.

"Okay, princess," Steve said softly as he assessed her. Her wound was on his side, and picking her up was going to cause her pain. He didn't know how else to get her to the very back however. "Robin, open the back. Nance, you'll drive." The girls both nodded, Robin rushing back to open the trunk.

"I got blood on your seat." Y/N muttered as Steve pushed her hair back, sweat making it stick to her forehead.

"I could not give less of a fuck," Steve told her, kissing her burning forehead before taking a deep breath. "This is gonna hurt, babe, alright? But we have to get you into the back." Y/N nodded at his words, not really hearing them anyway. He carefully put his arms around her before picking her up, and she let out a scream as he put more pressure on her wound. Steve felt more tears leave his eyes at the scream, and he quickly got her into the back of his car, letting Nancy take the drivers seat. Dustin sat in the front seat, having not said a word the whole time, and Robin got in the back after Steve. Robin closed the back as Nancy stepped on the gas, clearly sensing the urgency. Steve maneuvered him and Y/N so that she was laying on him, her back to his chest, and he was able to hold her close.

"Steve," Robin muttered, eyes wide even though they were swollen with tears from the whole of the last hour. "She's not awake." She motioned her head toward Y/N, and when Steve leaned around her, he noticed her eyes were completely closed. His heart dropped and he felt sick to his stomach as he tried to shake her awake, watching her chest rise and fall slowly.

"Y/N, please," He whispered to her, a couple tears falling and landing on her skin, dampening it even more. The relief he felt when Y/N grumbled and moved slightly was immeasurable, and he brought her even closer. "Please stay awake. I just need you to keep your eyes open," He begged, heart seizing as she moved a little bit more.

"Steve," She whispered, her head leaning back so she could look at him. "I don't wanna die," She begged, tears falling down her cheeks. Steve felt violently ill at her confession. His eyes were burning with unshed tears and his throat, where he had been choked twice in the past day, was also burning with the weight of keeping himself together.

"You're not going to die," He didn't know how far away they were from the hospital, but he knew they had to be getting close. "I won't let you die." He moved one hand to push her hair back on the side where she wasn't all beat up, kissing her damp skin.

"Where's Eddie?" She muttered, and Steve felt his body go cold.

He couldn't tell her that her best friend was dead, not while she as dying herself. He was afraid that telling her would make her give up, that he wasn't good enough on his own. Eddie and her had been friends for longer than Steve can remember, and if he had a friend like that he wouldn't feel great either. She was barely conscious, and Steve could only hope she wouldn't remember asking.

"We're here!" Nancy yelled as she stopped the car abruptly. Steve thanked every God he knew of that they had made it just in time, and hoped that Max and Y/N would be okay.

"Eddie," Y/N muttered, and that's when Steve knew that she had figured out.

Erica ran around the car to open the back, and Robin jumped out quickly to help Steve with Y/N, who was whimpering and crying out even though she hadn't moved yet.

"Come on, Princess," Steve grabbed her, helping her out of the car. When he pulled her close she screamed out, and that's when the sobbing started. Her cries were loud, so loud that Robin had to run to the bushes and throw up. She couldn't handle the cries and the pain and the fact that it seemed like everyone was falling apart.

Steve held himself together, his sole mission getting Y/N into the building. He held her close, trying to ignore her sobs. She was grabbing his shirt in her hands, and he was struggling to bring her in since she was withering in his grip. He held on tightly, however, trying to ignore the scream she let out as he pressed her wound closer to his body, putting more pressure on it.

"I'm so sorry," He told her, taking deep breaths until he finally got to the front door, where Erica and Dustin were already holding the doors open.

"Help us!" Lucas screamed, and that's when Steve realized he had been holding Max the whole time as well. Steve's arms were aching, but there was no way he was letting go of Y/N until she was in a bed. He looked around, seeing a couple people already coming in from what Vecna had done. Steve wasn't sure what the full extent was, but he knew that the Earth had cracked apart and people were hurt. He just hoped they would be open enough to help her.

"She was shot. She's lost a lot of blood." Steve said as evenly as he could, watching a couple people running around. It wasn't long before two stretchers were being rolled out, one for Max and one for Y/N.

"She doesn't have any allergies that I know of," Steve set Y/N down on the bed, but she was still holding onto his shirt lightly with a shaking hand.

"Do you know what type of blood she has?" A doctor asked, Steve following as the whole crew started moving.

"No, I-I don't know, I can call her house but I-" Steve was rambling and he knew he wasn't helping but he didn't know what to do. He was walking with Y/N, watching her eyes closing as she shook. Her hand was loosening on his shirt, and he felt his heart break as he grabbed her hand instead, shattering as he realized it was cold.

"It's okay. We'll take care of her." With a smile the doctor walked behind doors, doors Steve knew he couldn't go behind. In a daze and without thinking, he squeezed Y/N's hand and kissed her forehead.

"I love you," He finally said, and then she was taken away, and he watched until the doors closed. He watched as her head fell to the side, and he wished she could have said it back.

And then everything went black in his mind.

In reality, Robin was there, leading him to the waiting room. She was talking to him, saying his name, but he was staring straight forward eyes glassy.

Y/N. Max. Eddie.

He was supposed to be the babysitter. He was supposed to keep everyone safe. He wanted to be the hero this time. He didn't want to stay with everyone again, the way he had almost every time something like this has happened. And the one time he didn't stay with the kids, the time he left everyone, people died.

If he had been there, he would have been able to take out Jason. Max would still be alive. Y/N wouldn't have been shot and knocked out.

"Steve," It felt like the world came back all at once, and he turned to see Robin looking at him, eyes wide and tear tracks running down her face. She was gripping his arm, looking at him worriedly. He stood up, and she followed. "Where are you going?" She followed quickly as he began walking away. He couldn't just sit while his girlfriend was fighting for her life.

"Steve!" Dustin yelled, but Steve just walked over to Nancy who was sitting next to Lucas.

"Keys," He held his hand out. He felt empty, as if he were walking in a daze, and he didn't even register why Nancy looked up at him weirdly.

"Why don't you stay here? Wait for news on Max and Y/N." Nancy suggested, concerned. Steve wasn't crying anymore, and his face showed no emotions.

"Give me the keys." He would wrestle them from Nancy if he had to, determination filling his body.

"Where are you gonna go?" Dustin asked. The kid hadn't stopped crying all night, and if Steve were thinking clearly he would have told him to drink some water.

"To kill Jason," Clearly he wasn't thinking in any capacity. The gasps that everyone let out didn't deter him at all. Maybe he wouldn't kill Jason, but he was going to beat the kid to a pulp.

"Jason is dead," Lucas muttered, and for some reason that broke Steve.

"I need to get out of here." He said, walking toward the door, but then he was on the floor and everyone was screaming and he realized that maybe he should have been checked into the hospital awhile ago because the blood on his jacket was not all Y/N's.

"Steve!" He heard Robin scream, but he couldn't move. The pain was consuming him, both mental and physical, and he wanted to yell, to get up and find Y/N but he was glued to the floor.

Steve was sure he was not waking up.

~

He doesn't know how he got up. He doesn't know how he got to where he is now, sitting in a hospital bed. He doesn't remember anything, even as the doctor is telling him that he had a severe panic attack, that the wounds on his torso weren't infected and would heal fine but what animal was it again? Steve just blinked as Robin lied, said it wasn't an animal but a couple of bear traps, that they were being dumbasses and they knew better now and did they have any updates on Y/N?

"She'll be okay. She should be able to walk very soon-" The doctor cut herself off when there was a commotion down the hall. People were yelling, and there was screaming. Familiar screaming.

"Shit," Steve muttered as he sat up, watching Y/N come through the door, teeth gritted. She was favoring her right leg, but she was quick to get in the room. By the time the nurses got to the room, Y/N had already made it to his bed.

"They told me your room number." Y/N smirked as she climbed over Steve, wincing to be able to lay on her right leg on the other side of him. He smirked as he put an arm around her, looking at the outraged faces of the nurses and doctor.

"How did a GSW outsmart and outrun you?" The doctor asked the two nurses.

"She's very sneaky." One of the nurses said, and the three simply walked out, the doctor rolling his eyes and looking like he was seriously considering leaving and never coming back to this hospital.

"We're gonna make it out of here." Steve told her, kissing her forehead. She smiled as she moved slightly to look up at him.

"We already have."

//

tags:  @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @roxaya @sadbitchfangirl @gloryekaterina  @oblivion-void @alexshaff2002 @m-rae23 @mads-weasley

[juniperhillpatient]

I am so obsessed with Misty consistently being Natalie’s light in the dark. Their intertwined fates are decided in that very first episode when Natalie hallucinates Misty through the fire. Then “How the Story Ends” gives us Nat at her absolute rock bottom - the moment she becomes the broken adult version of herself - sobbing alone in the snowy forest & she sees Misty run by with a lantern & when she finds her she’s presented by cruel betrayal & the fact that Misty has lied about something very important but also - HOPE. a potential way to get home.

Misty is so constantly Natalie’s light in ways that subvert the usual “ray of sunshine & dark grumpy” dynamic & it’s delicious. It’s not “I’ll take care of you.” “It’s rotten work.” “Not to me. Not if it’s you” exactly. It’s “I’ll save you even when you don’t want to be saved. I’ll save you with a secret that should be unforgivable & you have to live with that. I’ll save you by making sure someone else dies instead. You’re welcome.”

Natalie didn’t ask Misty to stalk her & set up cameras & break into her room & take her drugs but it DOES save her from a relapse. When Natalie needs help hiding a body, she shows up at Misty’s door knowing Misty will help.

I have talked in the past about how Natalie’s curse is that she doesn’t GET to die. Even when she wants to even when she has a gun to her forehead or a knife to her throat & she’s ready to die - a child has to die in her place. The gun has to be ripped from her hands by cult members of the last person she wants to see.

The finale will have to decide it for certain but so far this season is readjusting my expectations & understanding of the show in a way that reframes how I see season 2.

I was very vocal about disliking Natalie’s death as a narrative choice & then I was quieter about hating Lottie’s death because I wanted to understand where they’re going with all this & I finally think I’m starting to get it.

Misty was always going to be the one to finally kill Natalie. I get that now. The parallels between Jackie & Shauna & Misty & Natalie make sense now that i understand that death is always at the end of the road for these women. I can admit that I may have reacted more based on me personally loving Juliet Lewis & Natalie’s character than really understanding where this was all going. To be fair to me, I do think season 3 has made it make sense more. Which is logical, that’s usually how stories work, you get it more as you go on.

“How the Story Ends” was a REALLY good episode in the way it showcased Van’s arc throughout the episode. Van was always going to die because she had a moment of mercy - because she refused to keep living by killing other people. We see that now especially with the reveal that she rigged the card games in the wilderness. Van surviving against all odds was never a blessing of kindness. It always came with a price. And she finally chose to stop paying that price.

If we see Lottie’s death dream & she gets some showcase in the finale this will be an almost perfect season for me.

My main issues early in the season were: 1. I didn’t understand what was going on with Adult Tai & I was frustrated that her character seemed to have become someone totally different for no reason. Now I fully understand the purposefulness of that arc. 2. I have felt that the adult TL deaths were brushed off emotionally & didn’t have the proper impact. I don’t feel that way about Van’s death at all. As sad as I am, it was a perfectly tragic & well written episode that impacted everything & closed her story the only way that would ever make sense. I have started to come around too that Natalie’s death did actually make sense & her tragedy is starting to resonate with me thanks to how it’s been handled for the most part this season especially for Misty who has almost taken on Nat’s role as the logical one & even wears Nat’s jacket. If Lottie’s death is given proper weight in the finale I will take back my previous criticisms for the most part. That’s not to say I take back every criticism I’ve ever had (the writers still have a lot of work to do on their colorblind approach to writing race, but that’s another post) BUT I will take back some of my harsher criticisms after the season 2 finale if this finale ties it together the way I have faith that it will.

I think season 3 has been really strong & for me, it’s tying together the timelines & making things that didn’t make sense before come together super well. I’m so excited for Friday I can’t stop thinking about it.

[shewasverynice]

Fandoms: 呪術廻戦 | Jujutsu Kaisen 

⚠️ SPOILER HEAVY ⚠️

Major Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death 

Full tags/warnings on Chapter links post

Major Characters: Original Character, Gojo Satoru, Geto Suguru, Ieiri Shoko, Yaga Masamichi, Nanami Kento, Haibara Yu, Tsukumo Yuki, Choso

‎‧₊˚✧ Chapter 24 ✧˚₊‧

"If you fail, the repercussions could greatly affect society," Yaga had said, "Don't screw this up."

Satoru sipped at his drink as he mulled over those words for the second time. The first time he'd heard them he just thought that Yaga was exaggerating. "Surely it wouldn't be all THAT bad if Tengen evolved or whatever" he remembered thinking.

Holy shit was THAT wrong.

"What's wrong?" Suguru asked, shifting closer as they walked down the sidewalk towards the apartment building Amanai lived in.

"Ah, it's nothing," Satoru said with a grin, "But uh, you're still game to get the girl out of here right?"

"Of course," Suguru said with a smile, "She shouldn't have to die so some old geezer gets to live a little longer."

"Right, right," Satoru nodded, crushing up his can with his technique before tossing it in a bin nearby, "Yeah, I figured you wouldn't change your mind."

Suguru tilted his head then bumped his shoulder against Satoru's. His smile twisted into that trademark suspicious looking smirk, his thin eyes closed just like a fox. "That's not all, is it?" He asked, pushing at Satoru and almost knocking him off the sidewalk. 

Satoru stared at him from behind his sunglasses, then huffed and pushed them up. Suguru always was good at reading him. 

"Yeah, alright, that's not all," he sighed, "But it's not something I want to talk about."

How could he? What was he supposed to tell him? The whole thing? Everything? No. No way. Absolutely not. That would be insane. He might believe him which might be troublesome for later. After all, a lot was riding on Suguru's mental stability. Better to not shake him up with some crazy information.

"Are you sure?" Suguru asked, his brows knitting together in concern, "Because I--"

"No, I really don't," Satoru said flatly, cutting him off and moving a few steps ahead.

Suguru frowned. Satoru hated it when he looked like that at him. Nothing made him more irritable than being worried about for no reason. He was untouchable. Suguru should be worried about himself first and whatever it was that turned him so harshly to evil.

Suguru sighed heavily, straightening up again. He shook his head, shoving his hands on his pockets and stared at the back of Satoru's head as he continued. "You're so stubborn," he muttered.

"Of course I am!" Satoru hissed, throwing his hands up dramatically, "I'm stubborn and rude and over the top. Everyone says that. That's not new."

"Yes, you are," Suguru hissed right back, "But you don't have to be. Especially not with me."

"Well don't ask about shit if I don't want to talk about it," Satoru grumbled, "Just leave me to deal with it myself."

"That's not how relationships work, Satoru," Suguru said with another heavy sigh, "You need to trust me. Maybe I can help with more than you think."

"I do trust you!" Satoru said, lifting up his sunglasses and stopping in his tracks. Really looking into his boyfriend's eyes and practically pleading. "Don't say that! I trust you!

"Satoru," Suguru said softly, stepping closer. He gently placed his hands on Satoru's arm, smiling at him with a genuine sweetness. "Relax. I know you trust me with your head, but not with your heart. You're going to need to let me help you when you're worried."

Satoru's lips parted but nothing came out. Instead he pushed up his sunglasses. "Please don't push this one," he said softly, "I... Any other time would be better for a lesson or whatever, but not this time."

Suguru let his hands fall away, nodding a little. The twitch of sadness in his smile wasn’t missed by Satoru, but he chose not to acknowledge it. Talking about this wouldn’t make him feel any better anyway. The best thing Satoru could do now was to keep his eyes open and pay close attention to anything that may have changed and be successful this time.

He’d already taken care of Q and The Star Religious group and even killed Toji. None of that guaranteed that Amanai was safe, but it certainly made for an easier mission. Three days to get her to Tengen, just like before, but this time she had time to “say her goodbyes”. Or at least the girl probably thought so.

All of them had agreed. Nanami, Haibara, Suguru, Sarah and Shoko had without hesitation agreed to give Amanai another chance and get her out of there. Even if they had to fight every single sorcerer on the planet, they were going to make it happen. Amanai deserved a life and they weren’t going to let anything get in their way.

His part in the plan was relatively simple: use the three days to get her as far away as possible. The rest of it was some complex plan that Nanami and Suguru had come up with, most of which Satoru hadn’t really paid attention to. What he did know was he was going to get her on a plane and overseas. Once she was there they’d take her somewhere where she and Kuroi could be off the grid and hide out until the higher-ups moved on. Everything would work out just fine.

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

“What do you mean, “run away” and hide out?” Amanai shouted, jumping out of her seat, “Are you out of your mind? This is a sacred duty and I–”

“Yeah, yeah, duty and whatever,” Satoru grumbled, waving his hand dismissively, “Do you think your life’s only value is only in this one thing about you? That you were just born to die for an old man in a basement?”

“I believe Master Tengen was originally female,” Suguru corrected and Satoru pointed at him then looked back at Amanai.

“Alright, some old hag in the basement, whatever,” He said with a shrug before leaning back and crossing one long leg over the other. Jutting his chin towards Amanai he asked, “Point is, are you just gonna let someone else decide how to live your life or are you gonna take control?”

Amanai’s hands slowly curled into fists, her jaw still dropped and eyes flicking between Satoru and Suguru. Kuroi hadn’t said a word since the boys had explained their plan. Her hands trembled just a little as her mouth started to form some sort of protest before she shut it. She pressed her lips into a thin line before she stormed out of the room, muttering about getting ready for school.

Kuroi watched her disappear into her room before she turned to face the boys. She shook her head and quietly said, “While I do appreciate your mindset, I’m not sure this is the right thing.” Her fingers wound together in front of her, twisting nervously. “I do wish she could have a good long life, but if she–”

“Then why say no?” Suguru asked, “Talk to her. Explain how you feel. She’s lived her life as if she only had limited time and we’re giving her more. It’s a simple thing, isn’t it? Just tell her she doesn’t have to die.”

Kuroi hesitated. One of her hands came up to her lips, covering her mouth as her eyes fell to the floor. Finally she nodded, then followed Amanai into her room.

“Man, I thought she’d just agree,” Satoru sighed, dropping his head onto the backrest of the couch, “Why is she so unsure? It seems pretty obvious to me.”

“Well, I’d imagine it would be difficult to hear,” Suguru said with a soft chuckle, “She has likely been told many times how important this is and how she should be honored or any other sugar coated lies from everyone in her life.”

“Well, now she doesn’t need to hear that bullshit,” Satoru said, uncrossing his legs and letting them stretch out across the floor, “So she should be grateful.”

Suguru chuckled again. “She should be, but she may need more time to process all this,” he said, patting Satoru’s knee. He stood up, stretching his arms over his head before he strode over to the coffee pot. 

Satoru watched him sniff at the liquid before pouring it into a cup. He tilted his head, watching the dark haired boy pour in a little sugar before taking a test sip. With a scowl, he let his head fall back again and stared through his sunglasses out the huge window.

Satoru was irritated. That’s what it was. But why? What was making him so irritated about all of this? It wasn’t Amanai being unsure, that made sense in a way. Annoying also, but the main cause of what was making him feel so off. Something was really bugging him about this whole thing and he wasn’t really sure how to figure it out.

Even hours later when they’d taken Amanai to school and wandered around in the area, keeping themselves busy while she enjoyed her “last day”. He still couldn’t help but feel like something was grating on him. Plus he’d already told Suguru he didn’t want to talk about it with him, which was definitely still true. But who the hell could he even–

Satoru pulled out his phone, sitting down on a bench. 

Satoru: Hey, you got a minute?

Sarah: Yeh, ol’ man Nishimiya is teaching today. What’s up?

Satoru: Ew, the perv?

Sarah: Yup.

Satoru: It’s a lot to type. Can you sneak out or something?

He watched a few dots pop up on the screen, then disappear. Then about three minutes later his phone rang and he smiled before he answered.

“Sup, Glacier Freeze?” she whispered and he laughed.

“Got somethin’ that’s buggin’ me,” He said, running his free hand through his hair, “Got time to talk?”

“I guess,” she mumbled. He could hear the slight echo in her voice. She must have been in the bathroom. Classic place to hide. “Okay, let it rip. What’s up?”

He snorted. “Beyblade?” he teased and heard her muffle a laugh.

“Why not?” she said, then put her mouth super close to the mic to say, “Stop stalling.”

“Okay, alright,” he chuckled. With a sigh he gathered himself before he said, “I’m feeling weird today about something that’s kind of hard to explain. It’s kind of like… What do you do when you remember something awful that’s happened and the person who was with you doesn’t?”

“Huh? Is this something that a curse did or something?” she asked.

“Nah, not exactly,” he answered, “But I remember it and it’s really fucked up but this other person–”

“Suguru?”

“Okay, yeah,” Satoru admitted, “He doesn’t remember it and I can’t stop thinkin’ about it.”

“So you’re pissed that you have to live with it and he doesn’t?” She asked and his mouth fell open.

“How are you so good at this?” he muttered, his eyes flicking over to Suguru who was aimlessly pacing by some vending machines.

“Because I gotta be good at something, right?” she teased. He heard her lean up against the wall. “That’s a shitty feeling though, huh?” she asked, “It’s like… You have no right to be mad, but you still are since you’re stuck with it and he isn’t.”

“God, that’s so true,” he groaned, pushing up his sunglasses and pinching the bridge of his nose, “That's exactly it. They should be paying you for this shit.”

“Pfff,” she scoffed, “I’m only good at it with friends.”

“What do I even do about it?” he sighed, pushing down his sunglasses again, “It would fuck him up to know about it but it’s fucked up that I want him to be fucked up too.”

“That’s… I mean,” She muttered. He could hear her shifting; her breath as she thought about what to say. “Do you want to tell me about it?” she asked quietly, “It’s obviously fucked up to tell him, but you still want to talk about it don’t you?”

Satoru chewed his lip. He did want to talk about it.

“Alright, how about tonight?” he asked softly, “... unless you change your mind or something?”

“Nah, it’s cool,” she said, “I’ll wait up for you to call, okay?”

“Sure,” he said, then after a beat he added, “Thanks.”

“Of course,” she said with a little laugh, “Talk to ya later then, big guy.”

“See ya.”

“Was that Sarah?” Suguru asked, walking closer and holding out a drink for Satoru.

“Yeah,” he said, smiling as he took the drink. He looked up at Suguru and asked, “How’d you know?”

Suguru shrugged as he sat down beside him. “It’s just a guess,” he said, popping open the can.

“I just wanted to talk to her I guess,” Satoru said after taking a sip of his own drink.

“Well, as long as you talk to someone,” Suguru said, smiling and leaning just a little closer. Their shoulders touched and Satoru swallowed as a jolt shot through him. He laughed a little, feeling the blush creep up his cheeks. 

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

“So, how’s it going?” Sarah asked later as soon as she picked up.

Satoru leaned over the railing on the balcony of the hotel room. His eyes scanned over the cityscape sprawling in front of him and eventually he answered, “She’s being a little stubborn.”

“Yeah I bet,” she laughed, “Poor thing. It’s hard to hear about “your destiny” your whole life.”

“You’d know, yeah?” he teased, grinning at her groan of frustration.

“Uh, yeah,” She scoffed, “Absolutely I would.”

“Then we should have brought you too,” he huffed.

“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your romantic vacation with your boyfriend,” Sarah teased, the sly grin that was clearly plastered on her face unmistakable. He didn’t need to see that shit to hear it.

“Shut up,” he muttered, a smile on his lips anyway.

“Oh, hang on,” she said, “Going downstairs.”

“Wait,” he interrupted, “You’re not in your room yet?”

“Mm? No? Why?” He could hear her stop in her tracks and the voices of her handlers fussing at her in the background.

That actually solved something he was worried about. “Nah, it’s good,” he said, “Go ahead.”

He heard a loud rustling, clearly one of the handlers putting his hand over her phone. Then a muffled cry of agony, then nothing for a while. Shortly afterwards she spoke again.

“You wanted to make sure the outside me remembered that you called, huh?” she asked suddenly.

Satoru chuckled. “I didn’t want to hurt her feelings,” he admitted, “She’d think I forgot and I’d get an earful.”

Sarah chuckled as well. “That’s true,” she agreed, “So, go ahead. Tell me the whole story.”

“Where do I even start,” Satoru sighed. Then his brows furrowed. Where should he start? Should he just… tell her? Normally he wouldn’t have hesitated in this kind of situation. He never felt unsure of this kind of thing before, but when it came to her he was actually afraid to hurt her feelings. But how could he explain this without telling her everything? No, he had to trust that she could handle it. 

“So, I’ve lived all this before,” he admitted. She definitely was surprised, the little hitch in her breath was unmistakable. “I won't go into all the details, it won't really help right now anyway. But Suguru and I have been on this mission before only… it didn’t go well the first time.”

She listened intently, barely asking any questions as he told the whole story. From when they first left to even when Suguru had left the school. He hadn’t had any intention of telling her EVERYTHING everything, but once the words started to spill out he found he just couldn’t stop. She just… listened to him. She didn’t ask for justification or excuses or even try to rationalize why he made his choices. She listened until he finally stopped, just after the part when Suguru had left the school.

“Damn,” she muttered after a long pause. She inhaled before she let it out in a long heavy sigh and muttered, “Damn.” one more time.

Satoru was surprised to find himself trembling; just barely enough for him to notice. His heart was beating like crazy and a cold feeling was running through his skin. His head even felt a little fuzzy. What on earth was this feeling? Equal parts relief and something foreign. 

“Well, for one,” she finally said, making him tense up, “That’s fuckin’ awful and I’m really sorry it all went down like that.”

His shoulders fell, his eyes sliding closed as his body leaned into the balcony railing and his lungs remembered to breathe again. The cold feeling faded and he felt something new blossoming in its place. Warmth, although the slight tremble still remained.

“I take it you had a hand in why Q and the Star Religious group got into it?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he chuckled, “Sure did.”

“That makes sense. You would do something wild like that,” She said with a soft breathy laugh in her words. “So now it makes sense why you want to give Amanai another chance. Poor girl never stood a chance.”

“Pff,” Satoru scoffed, “Are you sayin’ Suguru and I couldn’t handle it?”

“No,” she said and he could hear the roll in her eyes, “I’m saying that she spent her whole life being told she’s gotta die and then, when you two big assholes showed up and gave her a chance, a bigger asshole came and killed her. It’s not your fault you lost. They sent two sixteen year old boys on a mission that even adults would have failed.”

“We’re the strongest,” Satoru said with a shrug, “It makes sense that they’d choose us.”

“No it doesn’t,” she scoffed, “That’s stupid. They should have at least sent ONE adult with you. It’s stupid to send children into a situation like that alone.”

“... Well sometimes they can handle it…” He muttered. When she put it like that maybe his teaching methods needed some work… he didn’t think that was the part that was wrong about all this but when she just said it like that…

“I guess what it was, was that you got really outplayed,” she continued, “That Toji guy sounds like a big pain in the ass. He must have been really smart. Any adult with you probably would have died too.”

“See?” he said, “And this time around I… well I fucked up and warned him ahead of time  trying to threaten him so he uhh…” He awkwardly rubbed the back of his neck before he admitted, “So he came and killed Suguru and Shoko and you had to send me back again.”

She snorted and laughed and he couldn’t help but smile. “You’re so stupid,” she said, the giggle still ringing in her voice, “But whatever. I’ll make sure you get to whatever goal you’re trying to accomplish.”

“Why are you so okay with it anyway?” he asked, “Last time it was even you that brought it up. You’re just okay with killing yourself to help me?”

“I guess it’s like…” she hummed a little as she gathered her words before she said, “It’s not really dying right? You’re still gonna be there and you’re gonna make sure we get through it, so why shouldn't I trust you?”

He sniffed with pride, slicking his hair back with his free hand. “I’ll take that compliment,” he said, “Glad you trust me to do what I'm good at.”

“Shut up,” she laughed, “I’m being serious. Why wouldn’t I? I mean, I must have trusted you in the future too, right? We’re really good friends so I can see why.”

“It’s funny,” he said, propping his head up with his fist and leaning on the railing, “I didn’t actually know you before so I’m not sure why you did it all in the first place.”

“Does that matter?” she asked.

“Just seems weird to me,” he admitted, “I’m so used to doing everything by myself that someone just offering help to me is so… weird? Especially someone who didn’t even know me.”

“Well that sucks,” she grumbled, “Everyone else sucks.”

He laughed, covering his eyes with his hands. “It’s probably my fault too, I have a pretty shit personality.”

“You do not,” she said and he knew she would have swatted at him if she was next to him. “You’re just a lot and some people can’t handle that. You’re a cool dude and you’re definitely worth the effort.”

“Okay, alright,” he mumbled, “Don’t do that to me. You’re gonna make me explode or something.”

“Ew.”

“Not like that you degenerate!” he laughed, making her crack up as well. It faded after a moment and they both sighed before he said, “Okay, but we got way off track. You got all the details now, do the thing you’re good at. What’s got me all fucked up today?”

“Oh, you’re just feeling bitter,” she said matter-of-factly, “But I think anyone would in that situation.”

“Bitter, huh? Seems a bit stronger than bitter,” he said, raising a brow.

“Bitter can be different levels,” She said with a shrug, “But think about it? You have to be stuck with feeling so shook up and he doesn’t. Currently, he’s never had a real loss before. He’s never had that big moment where he had to realize that being the strongest doesn’t mean you’ll always succeed and that feels unfair to you.”

“Damn, you’re good,” he sighed.

“Yeah, well it’s pretty obvious,” she continued, “I mean, I feel that way about my outside self. She gets to flop around and have fun all day and I have to stay awake at night and have nightmares about being killed every six months.”

He sucked air through his teeth and quietly said, “Yeeeeah… yeah that’s pretty messed up.”

“And it makes you kinda mad, right? Like at Suguru?” she asked.

“Fuck. Yeah, you’re so right,” he groaned, “That’s so wrong, isn’t it?”

“Nah, I wouldn’t say so,” she reassured him, “I think it’s pretty natural to feel bitter about people who don’t know how bad you have it.”

“Is it?” he asked, “It feels kinda shitty.”

“Didn’t you ever have to deal with this before?” she asked, “Or haven’t you talked to anyone else feeling like that too?”

“I’m gonna be honest with you,” he said dryly, “All I did in my first life was work and sleep. Once Suguru left the school I didn’t have any real friends.”

She didn’t say anything. He might as well have heard the wheels turning in her head.

“Well…” She said, “Then I guess this time is a lot more fun, huh? You’ve got a lot of real friends this time, right?” She inhaled and paused then blew out, “I dunno man, that’s really heavy.”

He laughed, dropping his head onto his hand on the railing. “That’s heavy? Not the part about all the horrible traumatic shit?”

“C’mon I dunno!” she cackled, “You’re so much fun! It’s pretty ridiculous that no one wanted to be your friend.”

He sighed, wiping at his eyes. He cleared his throat as he considered what she said, smiling a little sadly. “Well… they may have wanted to, but it’s probably just as likely that I pushed them away,” he admitted, surprised as the realization was hitting him.

She blew a raspberry and he heard her stand up. “Okay!” she said with a huff, “Listen to me!”

He grinned. “Yes, ma’am!”

“You are allowed to feel bitter about things not being as green as they look on the other side,” She said, “But you’re not allowed to be mad at Suguru because you love him and he wouldn’t be mad at you for that.”

“Yeah…” he mumbled.

“So instead we’re gonna fuck up the old geezers, right?” she said, “Turn the tables on them!”

“Damn right we are,” he said with a smirk. He stood up, glancing over his shoulder as Suguru entered the room once again. “Talk to ya later, yeah?”

“Yeah, good luck!” she said, just before hanging up.

Suguru smiled as Satoru walked over, tilting his head. “Oh? Are you feeling better now?”

“Yeah, actually,” Satoru said softly, “And uhh… sorry about earlier. I was being unintentionally petty about something.”

Suguru patted him on the back and grinned, “It’s alright. I get it.”

“You forgive me?” Satoru asked, looking up at Suguru with his eyelashes fluttering.

Suguru gave him a deadpan look, then pushed him back gently with his hand over his face. “Don’t push your luck,” he snickered.

Satoru sighed, then nodded towards the couch. “I’ll sleep over here, you can have the bed.”

“Oh?” Suguru said as he sat down on the edge of the mattress. He picked up his brush before letting his silky black hair down. “Are you sure?”

Satoru narrowed his eyes. That was an invitation wasn’t it? It was… right? Maybe it wasn't? It's not like Suguru had any experience in that category and he could easily be reading too much into it.

Still, as appealing as the idea sounded, when he looked at Suguru he felt a hesitation. Better not to push things too far, was how he was rationalizing it. Better not freak him out and try to get too close too fast.

“Yeah, it’s fine.” Satoru said, snatching one of the pillows and sitting down on the couch with a smirk.

Suguru shrugged, “Well, alright. I thought you’d want to argue about it since I won the last few times.”

“Nah,” Satoru chuckled, “I’m good right here.”

⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂⠁⠁⠂⠄⠄⠂ ⠂⠄⠄⠂☆

“The goodwill event is coming up,” Haibara said, standing up as he finished laceing up his shoes. “We're gonna train hard!”

“The goodwill event is only for second years and up,” Nanami reminded him, “Why would you bring us out here to train for an event we can't participate in.”

Haibara rushed forward and muttered, “That's the cover story, duh,” right in Nanami's ear.

Nanami pushed him back and rolled his eyes. “We don't need a cover story for training,” he grumbled, “We can just train.”

“Cover story?” Sarah asked, “For what?”

“For incase… y’know…” Haibara gestured towards the sky.

Nanami and Sarah stared at him.

He blinked then moved his hands and pointed downward this time. “Y’know?” He repeated.

“No,” Nanami said slowly, “I don't.”

Haibara grinned and laughed. “In case Tengen is mad about what we're doing with Amanai.”

“Oh,” Sarah laughed. She walked up and patted his cheek, making him blush and bite his lip just a little. “Don't worry about all that. Nee-chan will take care of Tengen for us.”

“I didn't know you had a sister?” Nanami said, tilting his head as he looked at her.

“Oh, well, she's more like a sister figure,” Sarah said with an aimless gesture of her hands, “She's been kind of a mentor for me for a while and she's got an in with Tengen.”

“An “in” with Tengen?” Nanami repeated, “What exactly does that mean?”

“Uhh… y’know to be honest I'm not sure,” Sarah said, rubbing her chin. Her eyes widened and she furrowed her brows. 

“H-hey! Uhh why don't we have a– a competition?” Haibara stammered out quickly, moving to stand in front of Sarah and snapping her out of it.

Sarah looked up at him, the worrying thought leaving her and a smile replacing it. Haibara continued to keep her distracted, but Nanami couldn't help but sigh. This binding vow was irritating. He had questions that demanded answers, but every time they got close to something the poor girl would have a panic attack.

“What a disgusting way to keep someone under control,” Nanami thought. The higher-ups were truly despicable in his mind, and it had only been reinforced over the spring time he'd spent at the school. Most of the adults were jaded and crazy and anyone else left was so uncaring and apathetic that it made him sick.

This was supposed to be something he could take pride in! This was supposed to be something special that only he could do for the good of everyone! Instead he'd found himself thrown into a pen with other sheep, most of which willingly obeyed without question. 

And yet… there was an appeal to the idea of working with his annoying upperclassmen. As soon as Yaga had given them a glimpse of what the even darker reality was beneath, Gojo, Geto, and Shoko had included Haibara and himself in all of their plans. Still loose and still waiting for better circumstances, but they still had plans to overturn everything.

“Nanami?” Haibara called, and Nanami looked up at him.

“Yes, I'm sorry,” he said, clearing his throat, “I'm here. Let's go.”

⤶ Prev Main Next ↪

Taglist: @inthedarkshadows000

[epickiya722]

Your recent posts about Gojo... It's literally why I interact less and less in fandom. People see hot characters and project stereotypes on them without a care of what they are

It can sound petty especially with how it doesn't matter in the long run but it's like seeing people saying that in a no curse au Sukuna would be a playboy... Like yeah it's an au, he will be a bit different (like not being a mass murderer cannibal) but that is just... Seem so ooc to me, even in an au.

But well yeah. They just change them into male lead of romance novels. They don't matter in another context to them which is why you'll see me blow up about how vain it all feel like

Another example is how interesting Jogo is but nobody care about him because they don't want to fuck him. Like his last fight with Sukuna? The fact that he's the first person Sukuna ever praised for being strong in the story? A "stand proud. You are strong." Like? When I game to this moment I was zo shocked because it's not expected on Sukuna at all. And how Jogo mourned the death of Hanami and Dagon too?!

Yeah you know I just know now that outside of fanworks it's better to just ignore fellow fans because they have nothing to say beside how hot a character is

It really does suck that when it comes to liking a character some people just stop at their appearance and that's it. Nothing else intrigues them and they go as far as to misinterpret them -> leading into misinterpreting the story and having terrible ass cold takes that just feels like they need something to say to make them sound "logical".

And it's people like that who are the loudest. So when others want to engage in the story and they check out meta posts and reviews for it, they'll see that trash first and run with it.

When JJK first came out, I did see it was quite popular but at most I saw fanart for it and kind of just ignored everything else. I went ahead with watching the anime and then went to see what people were saying and honestly? What the hell?

Gojo is a character that has a bad case of "likeable character, unlikeable fans".

I truly do believe that some of his fans only take to him for being attractive and powerful. When it comes to his story? "Eh, what's that?"

Look, I'm all for finding characters attractive. I, myself, find some characters attractive. But I don't see the thrill of stopping there when that character also has a whole story you can explore.

I know Gojo fans are mad, but... his pretty ass is in a story that is meant to be written tragically. People will say "he should be the MC, that's my MC". Well, guess what? He's part of the main cast, so his ass is getting that full experience.

I like Gojo a lot, too, I do. But watching the first season, something deep in my soul told me "oh, he's a sad one", so I guess a part of me was already prepared for something like 236.

This is going to sound harsh, but when he said "I would win" way back in the beginning? I clocked in that he, in fact, wouldn't. That fight against Sukuna was going to be a lost battle. Oh, I believed in Gojo and I wanted him to win. But whenever a nearly, seemingly invincible character say they are going to win... most likely they're going to lose.

And again, it's JJK. There's going to be loses and agony. It also doesn't matter sense for Gojo to win when YUJI STILL EXISTS!!! Like, sometimes, I feel like some of the fandom just wants Gojo to take the frontlines just so Yuji can't do anything.

I didn't expect for him to die, no. Still hurts. But... come on... the manga wasn't ending that soon.

The fanon interpretations I see of him (Gojo) is just... if you asked me to pick one I hate the most it is the "Gojo is a womanizer/playboy" interpretation. Same case for Sukuna, I do not see it. Especially, when in canon this guy just does not care for all of that. But it's fanon stuff and since I don't like it, I just steer clear of it.

And good point about Jogo. I'll be honest, I find that the Disaster Curses were interesting antagonists of the beginning of JJK. They were the first real threats for our cast. They were challenges.

They were curses made from humanity's fear of disasters and other humans. And yet, even with being curses, they showed "human" qualities. They were able to talk, a rare case for curse spirits, and feel other emotions. Mahito often displayed joy, example. Dagon and Jogo displayed sadness. They were a group that did hold some care for each other.

And yeah, I would say because of their physical appearances they're often ignored. (Unimportant, but I actually loved Hanami's design, that's my favorite design right there.)

[ccmatta]

30 and 50 for the ask game!

ok!!! :33 (edit: oh shit this is huge i'm so sorry, i just talk too much 😭)

30. Have you ever written something that was out of your comfort zone? If so, what was it, and how did it affect your approach to writing fic thereafter?

I try to avoid dealing with things out of my comfort zone, ngl. But yeah, a little, yes. First, Matt hacking stuff???? do I know anything about that? oh hell no. And I'm quite aware it sucks a lot because I was so excited to write nonstop (really, I spent maybe 3 months writting every second I was awake, sponsored by my lovely autism) that I didn't stop to research stuff. But it made me just relax and do my silly stuff not caring too much about having a 100% of verisimilitude. It's fanwork, we can just have fun, yk? Second: smut. I... I don't know what I'm doing at all, I'm just a silly extremely ace dude that likes to draw smut but have no idea how to write that. While I'd write like 10+ pages in a day, 3 pages of smut would take me 2~3 days because I'd stare at my screen and literally SCREAM because I cant. I just can't lmao. But again, it's just for fun, why should I stress about that? It's not pwp, it's just a scene there that usually have some meaning for the relationship, I'm not aiming to write porn, so let it just be a mess and badly done lmao, as long as I achieve my objective of making the reader see and understand how the relationship is flowing, I think my job is done. And I think that's what I learned the most making my longfic. And it kinda helps me not to be too anxious when I get to the part where my slice of life shit stops and the DN canon begins, with Mello being the badass mafioso he is (but yes i'm scared af lmao).

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

Mmm.. I think I'll choose "34. What aspects of your writing are inspired by/taken from your real life?" And... mental illness YAY :DDD I accidentally made Matt with an autism too close to mine (a while before I was diagnosed, I just wrote him and then I looked back and was "oh shit.... no way"). You see, not only because it's fun to project a little on the characters I write, but exploring someone's mind is so fun to me. And I'm quite morbid ngl, so writing depressive stuff makes me... happy. At the same time, if you read the beginning of my longfic Loyal Dog or half of my Matt x Linda fics, you'll see I do like some fluff, because behind my dark lord façade, I'm just a silly lil dude who likes silly and cute stuff :3 It's like I have a lil demon and a lil angel by my side and both scream at me what I need to create (you can see that with my fanarts too, i believe). But I digress, what I needed to answer is: mostly depressive, sad stuff. Make them miserable. Loneliness, a lot of loneliness, but still being self sufficient enough not to care that much about that (or just being too used to it). And on the fics I put more work on the prose, I think I try to show some pain. Being it 1st person or 3rd. And... hope? A little bit. As far as death note can give (which is not much, huh? lmao). Oh, right, and a little sun shining through all this mess. Yeah yeah, there's good things even when Mello and Matt both knows they'll die. There'll be light. (the same goes for Matt and Linda; Linda being the beacon of light there tbh.)

[moonsidesong]

just caught up with Your Turn To Die and absolutely adored it the whole way through. it goes unbelievably hard. calling it Danganronpa But Good feels like an insult. but like... yeah what if danganronpa was good? or rather. game that makes me wish danganronpa was good.

it really keeps you on your toes the Entire time, which is why i ended up saving like......... every five to ten minutes, most times. i would say the only slower part is the minigames during chapter 2? but, i thought those were fun, and they were still broken up by plot important stuff, so i really didnt mind.

ive heard the game had a soundtrack release on CD a few years ago, but i cant seem to find much information about it? much less any resell listings. how sad... i love cd...

i wanna talk more in depth from here on out so spoilers under the cut! warning thoughts very disjointed. and i havent seen absolutely Everything the game has to offer yet (havent done any of the side stories, we'll do them soon probably) so if my takes are disproven by anything ive yet to see please do not tell me htank you

first off OHHH MY GODDDD THIS GAME IS SO MUCH LESS CREEPY ABOUT THE MINORS AND ITS SUCH A BREATH OF FRESH AIR COMPARED TO DANGANRONPA. its not perfect, of course, i do not entirely love the jokes(???) about keiji (known grown adult man) going on dates with sara (known teenage girl), but like, this game does not make me feel gross all the time? thank u nankidai for not making your teacher character with a close relationship with one of his former students a groomer! the bare minimum! im gonna hit kodaka with a stick this should not be a point in the game's favor.

anyway! ended chapter 2 with Reko and Sou (shin) alive, ended chapter 3 having lost Reko .. . :( shes my favorite... i was so sad... ranmaru we're not friends anymore/.... you suck... you killed my best girl... we um, did make a grand total of 175 save files though, so at some point me and the friend i played with are gonna go back and scrub through anything and everything that we missed. maybe after we do the side stories though, not sure yet. reko yabusame i swear to god i will crawl into the screen and kill ranmaru myself for you. i will save you. i love you so much mwah

for years ive only known midori as The Guy That Kids On Danganronpa Discourse Instagram Put Overdramatic Yet Also Somehow Extremely Haphazard Trigger Warnings on every post that included him, so i was really excited to meet him. and boy he did not disappoint this guys NUTS!!! HES CRAZAY!!!!!!!! he has such a perfectly striking look about him. i love how he almost never stops looking straight at you, and how his suit is stark black so it obscures a lot of his shape when he's in the dark, its so cool. they absolutely nailed the atmosphere whenever you're around this guy.

but the first jumpscare when he like reaches out at you from the coffin just kinda made me laugh. me when i get you

also, if you're this far in to care about my opinions on games you probably know that i am Known Danganronpa V3 Hater. i think in particular Kokichi Ouma is way too good of a character for how dogwater the game's actual plot is, and Shin Tsukimi, while not being the same, obviously, scratches that itch of a guy trapped in a death game that spends all his time lying and living under a persona because he's afraid of dying perfectly While Being In A Game That Doesnt Make Me Feel Like Eating Sheet Metal . i love this dude and his ugly several clashing colors outfit. he wants my ass like mega dead right now but thats not important surely

also, i think its sweet that joe and sara are just best friends and they rarely ever even entertain the idea that they had romantic feelings for each other. i think its extra sweet and tragic that joe was able to tell sara he loved her in the end, meaning it as his best friend. and the way the game completely ceases showing you flashbacks of him after that point and just lets the image of the hallucinations replace his actual memory overtime is so good and haunting. this doubled down by the way her memory of him is completely locked up as soon as she starts trying to actually remember the way he really was, its so good.

i think thats all i have to say for now, but umm!!! really really good im excited to go back and fill in the gaps i missed. especially regarding kanna becasue i have a lot of theories about her that i hope im on the right track about #lol. but even if i dont i want to see her i miss her. yaay!!! i love when video games are good. i love you video games.

ill probably make more posts down the line with more thoughts after i let them marinade in my brain for a while... mostly when i have thoughts ive been sending them to the friend im playing with so we can discuss theories together LOL

[ecogirl2759]

Welp-

I reblogged this post earlier, and I wanted to elaborate on my stance since I messed up my reblog and my message didn't show up :(

LONG ramble about Taka and Ishida under the cut :)

(Spoilers and death and all that good stuff, as well as a couple screen caps)

Heads up:

Just real quick, I'm gonna make a couple points based on this snapshot from an old interview. Here's the source. (I will translate some parts of this below, too.)

OKAY

SO

For starters, I don't think Taka was ever meant to survive.

I really think he should have, but I don't believe he was ever going to. Hot take, ik lol

As basically everyone knows by now, Taka was meant to kill himself in Distrust. That ended up being changed since the whole suicide plot would've been revealed too early for people's liking, so that point was given to Sakura. So even before the game was refined and shipped, Taka was going to die. (Edit: OKAY this info is actually false. Leaving it in so that people can read what I had originally said, but this part is NOTTTT ACCURATEEEEE okay thanks)

Taka's FTEs also stopped when he changed into Ishida, and while Ishida had one unused FTE, it was only one. I doubt there was ever much planned for Taka past Chapter 4 (maximum), so they decided to just kill him in Chapter 3.

Kodaka did speak a little bit about what he had wanted Taka's death to feel like, so I think that's pretty solid evidence that he was always going to die.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: You could say that. However, even in a sad situation, I didn't want to make it [his death] cruel/brutal, so when it comes to it, it was on purpose.]

Ishida was also not a very well-received character lol.

Apparently, when the game first came out, Ishida was one of the least liked characters in the whole game. The staff also didn't care for him much, so they probably wanted to get rid of him as soon as possible.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Komatsuzaki: I felt like the characters were weaker when combined (laughter).] [Kodaka: That [Ishida's FTE] was also scrapped, and almost all of his appearances were lost. For that reason, Ishimaru himself was very popular although Ishida wasn't popular in the slightest. It's unfortunate... (laughter).]

The wordage here makes me think that there were originally going to be more chances for Ishida to appear, but that was thrown out in the earliest stages of planning. [ボツ roughly means "rejection (of a manuscript, etc.)]

Kodaka DID want to dive deeper into Ishida's character, though! He said so here:

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: I wanted to dig a little deeper regarding Ishimaru and Oowada's union, "Ishida," though...]

However, not even the interviewers really cared for Ishida lol.

Also, just to bring it up, here's where the claim for Taka's nonexistent backstory comes from, as far as I can tell:

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Kodaka: I thought about depicting that [his experience in junior high] a little more in his Free Activity part, but that was becoming too dark/gloomy, so it was retired.]

So it's not that he had one that was scrapped after he died. He never had one to begin with.

MIGHT I REMIND PEOPLE OF ALL THE CRIMES IN THIS SERIES?? WHAT COULD BE DARKER THAN, LIKE, MUTILATION, SA, SH, SEWERSLIDE, ECT ECT????

The staff do agree that he was rushed, though. Kodaka admitted that he probably rushed his death a little at the end, but he was trying to achieve a certain feel with it.

[ROUGH TRANSLATION:] [Sugawara: Ishimaru's facial expressions were fairly abundant, but I felt like his time to die seemed too quick to carry out.] [Kodaka: Be that as it may, I feel I was too quick regarding Ishimaru. But, I really wanted the event when Ishimaru died to be like Robert Rodriguez's "Desperado".]

Now, I haven't seen Desperado, so I have no idea what this reference means lol. If anyone has seen it, lmk! (Defo going on my Must Watch list hehe)

SO IN CONCLUSION:

Taka was likely always meant to die, but his character was incredibly rushed and shallow that he ended up dying without much to his backstory or personality.

It's really unfortunate, though. I've always felt like Fuyuhiko was kinda like what could have been for Taka, even on my first playthrough of the second game. Taka's character did and still does have SO much potential, including the fact that his percent chance of surviving his death is MUCH higher than any other character that has died thus far.

If there's ever a new Dangan installment, I want a Taka cameo where he didn't actually die because the freezer room basically acted as a life support system for him and slowed his circulation of blood, letting his head injury heal just enough to escape Hope's Peak some time after all the survivors are already out but before anyone comes back, but because he has severe untreated head trauma he's kinda crazy.

BUT THOSE ARE JUST MY THOUGHTS!

Sorry for the ramble hehe

[thot-farm]

I finally finished birthright. I hated it, but I am a biased Xander dick rider 🤷‍♀️

I spent Elise's birthday getting her killed in birthright instead of making a shit post edit.

I just don't get how Ryoma stood still so many times. Like I get it, honorable samurai and all, fair fight between Xander and Corrin, but the strongest Nohrian soldier is beating his sister/brother with an ancient magic sword that is as tall as F!Corrin, and Ryoma is standing there staring while he let it happen. (Image creds u/MSGold)

Like, what?! If he, the fast samurai with a lightning katana, just jumped in and blocked the "final" blow from Xander that probably would have killed or at least greatly injured Corrin, 1) Elise would have lived and been able to do Elise things, 2) HE WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN A JACKASS STANDING THERE WHILE HIS SIBLING WAS ABOUT TO DIE! I don't hate Ryoma in every other route, but holy fuck I hate Birthright Ryoma. In the cutscene for the fight against Garon, bro tried to negotiate with Garon, of all people, to let Azura go, then he gets hit by a fucking fireball. Like for fuck sake dude get it together!

Maybe this is all steaming from them making Xander seem unstoppably strong and then the Reddit propaganda that Ryoma is on the same level or stronger. I don't believe that anymore after playing Birthright. Ryoma sucked and sassy birthright Corrin sucks too. Azura slayed, literally, she was the last unit left alive on the final battle for me, she fucked up that overgrown salamander.

And why in the route about justice prevailing and peace did Corrin not just make the Nohrian siblings come with her? Puppy eyes for Camilla on her first appearance and she would probably come with. Elise did come with. Corrin could have just dragged Leo with her or dangled Camilla in front of him and he would have come, or Camilla would have forcibly dragged him. If Xander was pitted against all his loved ones trying to bring peace to the lands or picking King Garon, he would probably pick his siblings, even if it would take a battle of him "knocking" sense into his siblings, looking at his siblings beaten down yet not giving up the fight for peace, and not giving up on hope for him even against his blade would probably let the "real" Xander's feelings out instead of them being stifled by the loyal crown prince of Nohr.

But that didn't happen, instead, Corrin lives with the guilt of Elise dying in her place the blood of Xander's glorified suicide on her hands, and a worse elder brother imo. But at least Ryoma is hotter, right? (Screenshots taken from Hawlo's video.)

Also, I get that Xander would have dismissed Azura's crystal ball probably like he dismissed soothsaying. (Screenshots from Xander/Nyx supports justonegamer)

But in his death quote he admitted King Garon had changed, he knew, and everyone else knew and was telling him so. So maybe that crystal could have given him the final push he needed to break free of his shackles to King Garon. (Screenshots from pheonixmaster1 chapter 26.)

Why oh why of all people did they show it to Leo and not Xander? Leo quite literally just disappeared, killed Lago, then disappeared again then came back and now he was king of Nohr. All could have been avoided if Leo told Xander to stop huffing copium.

Xander's death hit me harder than any other death in the game, I knew it was coming so I was tearing up the chapters leading up to it and through his death speech. Ryoma's I teared up a bit. Takumi I didn't realize died so it never set it. Elise I didn't cry, I was frustrated. Azura's death in Birthright was sad, but I was still recovering from Xander's death, and all of Ryoma's yapping afterward just made me angry. Who else dies? A bunch of side characters and enemies? Characters I couldn't give less of a shit about since I don't remember?

I don't know why, but I feel like the salamander form and the goo form should have been swapped for the route but I don't know how they would do that story-wise. I found birthrights last battle much harder than I did Conquest, but I did totally over level all the royals on Conquest, but I still had a level 30 defense boon Corrin with a strength/defense backpack get fucking obliterated on Birthright along with all my other units, which included my over-leveled Xander and Siegbert. The only survivors at my 2nd to last turn were my over-leveled dark flier Leo from my conquest run and my dark flier Azura with 8 hp left, but they beat down that ugly salamander anyway! But I was playing very aggressively in endgame (I sent all my units in different directions and expected it to be an easy sweep like conquest endgame was for me.) (Edit: I played endgame right and it was an easy sweep, I don't know what I did the first time to make it so hard, it may have been the grief of Xander's death clouding my brain's capabilities.)

If they ever remake fates for the switch, they should make it so we as the player get more impactful choices, similar to 3 houses, but I feel like there are so many instances where the player could make a choice that gives you a different avenue to the end or multiple endings instead of the only decision beings what side you pick, and if you pick conquest kill shura for boots or let Azura's kidnapper join you, hooray.

And if they remake the game for the switch they should show Xander with his cheeks out in the hot springs 🤭

(ETA: I was playing Conquest and Azura says to access the power of the crystal at will they need a 'powerful mage like Leo' or a person with 'potent dragon blood like Corrin', so they did give an actual reason as to why the crystal was given to Leo in birthright but you only get that explanation in conquest (I don't believe Azura explains jackshit in birthright but I could be wrong). But this does not explain if Corrin or Leo were to use the crystal, would have Xander been able to see it in some way? All of this just makes me wish there was like a Telltale version of Fates, it would fit the whole 'what if' theme so well and I would eat it up, even more than I ate up warriors 1.)

[wynsbackagain]

The Stupid Hurts Me...

(WARNINGS: Being Human US spoilers. A brief spoiling of the ending of Final Fantasy X. Me, a grown woman, being f*cked up by the ending of a mere cheesy television show. Mentions of death, self sacrifice, and characters deserving better.)

I don't like series finales in general, but especially not if a main and beloved character dies at the end. But IF Aidan Waite had to die, I'm glad he got the afterlife he deserved. And bear in mind, anyone who reads this, my favorite story of ever is Final Fantasy X, a game in which the main character basically dies at the end. So trust me. I'm NOT totally averse to narratives going in that direction.

However... How we arrived at this turn of events in BHUS... I'm sorry... It was clumsy as f*ck, imo. To the point where I kind of feel slapped it the face when i think about it.

The only reason Aidan needed to sacrifice himself, or rather the only reason he thought to do so, was because he knew he was dying anyway. But the only reason he was dying is because Sally gave her soul to revive him after she stopped him from killing Josh. Which never needed to happen.

After everything they'd all been through, and ESPECIALLY when they KNEW Ramona was messing with their minds... There was no reason Aidan should have just believed it when Kenny told him Josh had done something to Sally.

For one thing, Josh wouldn't have done anything to Sally. Secondly, exactly how was Josh even SUPPOSED to hurt Sally in the first place? She's a ghost, for cryin' out loud! Now, I could see it if Aidan just had a mental break after everything that happened, and wasn't thinking clearly. But if that's the case, it wasn't adequately demonstrated. And the whole process of him regaining humanity, not really getting to enjoy it, being miserable without Sally, and being afraid of his mortality... It's just painful and sad. There IS value in that. But only if it's done right. If it feels like it was for nothing, or like it happened because of something so stupid, it just feels unfair.

I actually misremembered how this all played out from having watched it before a few years ago. I actually thought that he regained his humanity like an episode or so BEFORE the finale, and that we got to see MORE of him being human (pun absolutely intended). I actually thought Sally possessing all those werewolves to help Aidan save Josh was something that happened because Aidan was human already and couldn't beat up a mob on his own (I also forgot that it was werewolves. I'd only watched it through once before like this September. Don't judge me.)

He and Sally could still, to this very day, be living their best Krav Maga-crime-fighter-odd-couple life, if Aidan had just used his head and thought. "Now, why, how, could this be true?" It feels like they just kind of forced the ending. And neither Aidan nor the audience deserved that.

Addendum: Yes I realize that Ramona needed to be taken care of. But the four of them could have figured that out together later.

[koorinokujira]

Okay okay hear me OUT WITH THIS ONE sooo what if reader has like some chronic illness the can't be cured and they know their time isn't much long soo they broke up with their girl/boyfriend well if it's marriage then let's say they had a divorced saying lies that they don't love them anymore but it's just a way from them to not let them get hurt, since it's better if it's the reader's who's getting sad since they'll soon die anyways rather than seeing their lover be sad about their death, BUUUT before they die they gave an anonymous present for them. what's ur thoughts and who do you think will suit this scenario the most?

The floodgates of angst have opened, and the main victim seems to be my inbox. All jokes aside, though, this seems fun, so I'll try my best! As for who fits the scenario, it can be basically anyone in my opinion. But there are certain characters I haven't really written about much (if at all), so I think I'll give them a spotlight! So in this one, we'll have Kenshin, Yukimura and Motochika take the stage! Of course, I haven't written about Oichi either, but the poor girl has been tortured enough, I'll put her in something more wholesome if I get the chance. Enjoy your angst!

𓉸 Lies and Sickness - SB Imagines 𓉸

You were dying. It took you a very long time to accept, but the way you grew weaker and yet were unable to rest because of the strange aching in your body... it pointed to something being wrong. Every healer you visited was unable to help you, so eventually you just accepted your fate. But what you couldn't accept was your beloved seeing you waste away and die. Tired, hurt, and absolutely not in the right state of mind, you broke off your relationship and left, but not before leaving a gift for him as your last farewell...

𓉸 Kenshin 𓉸

Kenshin squints his eyes but doesn't falter, his legs firmly pressing into the sides of his steed to make it go faster. The weather assaults his face and hands with waves of cold rain, and the howling wind cuts into his skin. But he doesn't care. He is on a mission now... and nothing will stop the warlord from completing it.

Everything used to be good between you two. He was an attentive partner that always made time for you despite often having to go into battle. When he fought, he fought even more ferociously than he did before he met you. All because he knew he needed to come back to you. And you returned his affections in kind. No moment was dull around you, even if you both just sat in silence.

And then it was gone. You've been acting strange for a good while... and then you suddenly came up to him in tears. Saying that this is not working out anymore, how you wish to leave, and how he should just forget you, because it will be better that way. He kept up his stoic facade well back then... but it hurt. Especially since you weren't able to explain what was wrong. Did he hurt you? Was something else in the relationship unsatisfactory? But you only said the most basic information, before leaving the room, and his castle as well soon after.

And he let you.

A bit of time passed, and on the servants brought him a small box one day. Found while cleaning one of the spare bedrooms, she tells him. When Kenshin opened it, he found a small sake cup. His favorite one broke around two months back and he complained about the lack of its presence a few times. This one was nothing like the one he used to own... but still very beautiful. Well made, clearly colored with expensive paints. But there was no indication of where it was from, who made it or who bought it.

Unless...

That's right, you both enjoyed surprising each other with small gifts. Neither of you said anything out loud, but you paid attention to what the other wants and needs, before your days were brightened by something that the other gave you or did for you based on what you found out. It was a wholesome game you played with each other, constantly trying to one-up the other. And you left him a sake cup... when you were leaving too, clearly. You never went into the guest rooms as you didn't need to, so you probably went into one before leaving.

You still cared. And something was very wrong.

With that realization, one thing led to another. Kenshin sent out some of his men to look for you and figure out what's going on. Eventually, they found you, staying at your aunt's place. She was your only living relative. And from what Kenshin was told, you weren't looking too well.

And that brings us to now, where Kenshin is battling the elements to get to you. The lights of the village are coming ever closer with each sound of a hoof hitting the ground. Closer, and closer...

There.

He's finally arrived. He ignores the few village commonfolk that are rushing home and staring at him as if he was some sort of apparition. He got clear instructions on where he should go, so he ties his horse to the nearest fencepost and rushes off to find you. It's a small, inconspicuous house near the center of the village. He doesn't bother knocking, though he does slip off his shoes quickly, before barging into the home.

He's met with a startled scream of your aunt... and the sight of you lying down, wrapped up in a thin blanket. You look weak, tired... in pain. Kenshin does all he can to cover up the emotions bursting in his chest, and kneels down beside you.

"I know not why you decided to run off like that... but please. Let me share this burden with you," he gently takes your left hand in both of his, and you can't help but let out a sob. Oh, how foolish you were to think you could deceive him. How foolish you were to run away. How foolish you were to think that a cup will replace your presence.

He'd rather starve and drink muddy river water with his hands if it meant spending more time with you, however fleeting it may be.

𓉸 Yukimura 𓉸

Yukimura doesn't understand.

One moment, you were laughing about something dumb together after yet another succesful battle, and the next you tell him that your relationship has to end and you're leaving. And the next... Sasuke delivers him the message that you had perished.

They weren't moments, really. These event stretched out for a long time. But now, at the end of it all, it all feels like seconds to him. The day you met, your first kiss, every battle you survived together... the long nights spent talking about everything and nothing. Even the way you teased him about still being just a cub, compared to the mighty tiger that Lord Shingen represented. Oh, how he misses that cheeky smile you had in those moments.

He hates that he didn't realize it in time. How tired you looked and why his beloved lord bid you stay in the castle instead of fight. That whenever he noticed something wrong, he let himself be brushed off so easily. How far does his foolishness reach? Of course you weren't okay.

And he's bitter about the gift too. The one you left him. A new pair of spears that fit in his hands as if he was born with them. This whole time, he thought they were from someone else- someone who wanted to cheer him up after you took your leave so suddenly. Sasuke would do something like that. Even his Lord would if he was concerned enough. Maybe even one of his other comrades.

But of course they were from you. You always admired how he wielded them, and oh, such a show off he was sometimes. But only for you.

Now, Yukimura holds them once more, staring at your headstone. He didn't even get to say goodbye, and that probably hurts the most. He would have been there. So why didn't you tell him?

Yukimura doesn't understand. But he knows that in some twisted way, you meant well. And so he will wield the weapons you left for him, and when he dies, you will have nothing to tease him about anymore.

He'll keep living as long as he can, and make you proud.

𓉸 Motochika 𓉸

You wake up feeling oddly... warm. You think that maybe you died already. Well, afterlife seems quite comfortable, you think to yourself. Until a jolt of pain forces your eyes open, that is. Not only are you still alive, still ill... you are face to face with Motochika. The one you tried to run from, to spare him from seeing you waste away. The one you wanted to grow old with, once.

The warmth comes from his arms, which are gripping you tightly, but not so much that it hurts.

"You're awake..." he gasps, before he grits his teeth, forcing his tears to stay in his eyes. "Do you have any idea how worried I was?!"

You have no answer for him, only managing to weakly look away. His breathing gets heavier, and you can feel his warm, half-bare chest rising and falling i nrapid succession.

"First you tell me this isn't working out anymore... then I suddenly find a nice gift in my cabin... and then the others tell me they found you half-dead in a boat that you stole from me," he continues, his voice filled with frustration. "Did you really think I'm so dumb I wouldn't realize who it's from? And were you really so stupid to think that a damn gift can replace you?! And that my love for you would just stop when you left?!"

His voice gets progressively louder, as it does when he's dealing with feelings that are too much for him. He never hid how he felt, unlike you. A roughly made, yet beautiful open book you could read over and over again. And right now, its words are those of sadness, guilt, regret... and undying love and devotion.

Please don't leave me like this, say his eyes, never again.

"You're such an idiot sometimes," he growls, before his voice softens once more. "But you're my idiot. And I was stupid too, for not noticing how badly you've been feeling. So stupid..."

Motochika holds your trembling body closer to him and runs his finger through your hair, the gesture meant to calm you both.

"Look... I'll admit, finding out you're really sick was hard. But I can handle it. I love you too much to just let you go. You're the greatest treasure I've ever found in my life... and I didn't even need a map this time," he huffs softly. "You're a part of my crew, the most important one... and the other guys missed you too. I might not be able to heal you but..."

The pirate pauses, his expression the most sincerely caring you've seen on him.

"Well, we are on a ship, right? I'll take you anywhere you want. We'll have one last adventure, even if I have to carry you. If you want to try anything you haven't yet, you can be damn sure we're going to do just that," he starts to look a lot more like his usual self. "I want you to sail away into the beyond with a grin on your face. And nothing will stop me from trying to achieve that."

Tears stain your cheeks by the time he finishes talking. You're weak, and in pain... but you won't be alone.

Maybe the real treasure in your life was the pirate you found along the way.

---

Well well well, look who finally deigned to post! Deepest apologies for not posting any imagines for a looong time. Those of you who have seen my update post know that school is kind of a nightmare for me right now (lots of work and big exams coming up), which is why I also closed off my requests for now.

But I finally managed to finish this request in my backlog, woohoo! And fret not, my dear readers, the next one will be more sweet than angsty! I will try to work on it as fast as I can, but no promises :D

Hope you enjoyed, and like always...

Have a spectacular day!

[angelbunny-stuff]

(Mcyt tag people I promise this is relevant to you just keep reading)

there’s also tw for death and self-alive’nt so keep that in mind it is a hunger games sim

So here I am, my friends convinced eachother to do a hunger games simulator run of our ocs, it comes to my turn and I put in my ocs into the sim. Everything is good they have cute pfps and all and I’m not expecting much from it.

As you can see, I also put a few characters from my watcher AU in the mix, this is purely because I ran out of my ocs to throw in, so I figured they’d get to like.. day two or so and one of my actual characters would win instead.

I made an offhand joke about how funny it would be if Grian killed scar like he seems to can’t stop doing in the life series Yk as they’re on different teams( I did this on purpose)

Little did I know, it would be worse

So I started the sim, and here’s a few highlights from day one

Pretty normal pretty cool right

And then, the sim decides to hit like a TRUCK outta nowhere

Yeagh. This sets the tone for the rest of this post btw, it only goes downhill from here

But before that- here’s some more cute highlights before more big sad tm (couldn’t give the actual ss because of discord’s new photo grouping thing)

And then, the arena event happens,

I was not prepared for it

But also during that event was the B plot of this post, Nathaniel’s revenge arc: (my sona also died in the hurricane)

By that point over half of the characters had died, and I was honestly rooting for my boy Nathaniel to win, let’s look at the rest of his arc shall we?!

Huh

Anyway, the very next day is the feast, which is where THIS happens

I was in shambles. Absolute shambles. As you can see.

YOURE RIGHT CHIP THEY SHOULD BE HAPPY FOREVER AND BOTH OF THEM WIN BUT NO!!! MUMBO DECIDED TO DIE OF HYPOTHERMIA. LEAVING GRIAN ALL ALONE GOD DHAMMIT.

here were my thoughts on the matter, I was being very calm and normal(lie)

So that was my day, I did not in fact expect myself to cry over a hunger games sim of my ocs and aus. So how was your day?

[kob131]

I think I should write out a spread of what I think of each character in Umineko just to make things clear.

George- Nice guy, respect his determination and will to be with Shannon, would like it if the games could stop fucking him over. But...I feel like he’s gonna take a dark turn.

Jessica- Really cute but also very tragic, a lot of respect for her conviction and staunchness of character.

Maria- Tragic and abused child likely scarred for life by her mother’s inepititude and abuse. Her belief in witches has done nothing to help her as it’s encouraged a violent and hateful mindset.

Krauss- Bit of a dumbass, definitely has an inferiority complex about Kinzo and it has lead him to finnicial ruin. Though I suspect his redemption is coming.

Natushi- A wondefully strong woman that has earned my respect. Though Episode 5 does not look good for her so far.

Eva- A tragic case of ‘you either die as a hero or live long enough to become a villain’. There seems to be good reason why she dies early in most Epsiodes- the sexism and toxicity of the family has eroded her mind, making it very easy for her to fall into hatred, pride and envy.

Hideyoshi- A great husband and father whose done nothing but work with what he’s been dealt.

Rudolf- ... Honestly not much I can say. He’s shown a playboy-like side and yet a faithful husband-like side. But I feel like the game has barely touched him. Same with Kyrie- I know she hates Asumu, loves Rudolf and Battler and hates how her former love rival still got through her. But she still feels unexplored.

Rosa- A very odd case. A terrible mother through and through, having abused Maria to the point of ripping apart a beloved gift she made for her daughter, something she called her best friend, and clearly tramuatizing her daughter all because of her own pride and fragile ego. Yet she stared down a small platoon of demon goat butlers, dying to protect that same daughter and even throwing away her pride to try and save her. 

Kinzo- Fucking asshole. I don’t really feel much for him other than hatred for causing the events and some small respect for his ability to turn the tables.

Genji- He did good giving Shannon and Kanon peaceful deaths and Kinzo doesn’t deserve him.

Kanon- Honestly wasn’t a fan of his pairing with Jessica in the first Episode but they did a really good job making him anguished and desperate while stilling honorable in the second Episodes onward.

Shannon- Honestly. I like her for dissing Beatrice and for finding peace in her deaths.

Kurawasa- Funny but I’m eying her ass.

Gohda- A fairly okay guy whose a bit bland but also I can see why he sticks by the family.

Virgillia- I’m still holding a small grudge for her betrayal from Episode 3 and laughed as her little goat butler died in Episode 4.

Ronove- Honestly don’t know what to make of him. He’s polite and respectful and honorable. But something about his ettiqute makes me think it could be an act to bide time to get an upper hand on people.

Gaap- Nice tits.

Ange- A sad but true future that will happen if Battler fails. She deserved better than she got.

The Seven Sisters- Eh. Their bond with Ange is really sweet.

Lambdadelta- Really scared. I do not want to face her down.

Berkanstel- Fuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyoufuckyou-

Beatrice- I have no fucking clue. She’s delighted in torturing seemingly innocent people for fun but so easily shows a hurt, remorseful or even honorable side. I kind of just want to put her out of her misery at this point.

Battler- A man who is simutaineously dumb and smart, weak and strong, stubborn and wavering- I have to assume these conflicting elements are intentional.

As of Episode 5, Chapter 2- these are my thoughts. Not being very analytical here because an actual analysis would take more energy than I got right now. Also my thoughts on Battler and Beatrice are very likely to shift and change given their central character status.