#i should polish up that fic and post it haha

[doodlejoltik]

i have more to talk about re. all the REI MOMENTS in the new story chapter but can i just say i was floored with how similar these lines were to my (still unreleased) oneshot i wrote recently. even some of the wording!!!

their friendship was at least in some part real, at least from Rei's perspective. and he wants to have that back.

had a Rei Moment of my own while writing it seems!!! love reaching into this guy's brain

[vykio]

flash fic 2024.09.08 - aaron & seth should not share stations

Hey yah! We did flash fic saturday. The wheel gave me AARON and SETH and an extra WYMACK. Clarence @merceyca prompted "manicure" and Jane @billdenbrough gave me "restaurant AU" so I wrote this unfinished scene in that hour HAHA I didn't reread this before posting...

———

Aaron has been trying to decide if he’s seeing things right for the past four minutes. Seth’s nails are fucking glistening. Every time they catch the light at a certain angle, they shimmer right into Aaron’s eyes, like the obnoxious glare of sunlight off a the face of a watch. Like Scott Summers took off his protective visors and beamed him straight in the face—it’s distracting, is what it is, especially when Seth’s well-groomed cuticles catch stray particles of raw ground beef and he doesn’t shake off the immediately. It’s pissing Aaron off. 

“You’re not wearing gloves.” Seth doesn’t answer. “You’ll ruin your new manicure if you—“

“Fuck all the way off, fuckface.”

Okay, Aaron doesn’t care about his manicure anyway. “Did you wash your hands?”

“It’s my own lunch, dumbass. I don’t fucking care.”

“I hope you catch a case of listeriosis so bad, you shit and vomit every-fucking-where.”

“I washed my hands, Aaron,” Seth says through gritted teeth. “And I’ll throttle you with them if you keep talking.”

“Put in my obituary I died asphyxiated by the prettiest hands on the block.”��

Seth stops kneading and finally looks up at Aaron. “If you don’t keep using that knife, I will.” 

“I can’t cut anything with your gay nails shining in my eyes like a beacon.”

“Enough.” Wymack doesn’t raise his voice—he never has to—but it cuts in between them like he’d used a megaphone anyway. “Aaron, switch with Neil at the dishwasher. Keep it to yourself,” he adds when he sees Aaron open his mouth to argue.

“Replacing him with that jackass Neil isn’t much better,” Seth grumbles, but Wymack’s already turned away to leave the kitchen. 

Aaron holds out his hand expectantly and Seth slaps his hand down to grip Aaron. Aaron is surprised but he should have known he’d try to unbalance him. He resists the downward push until Seth relents and relaxes in his palm. Aaron scowls at him and he gets a scowl back, then brings up Seth’s hand for examination. He tilts his hand back and forth to see the nails shimmer. It’s kind of fun.

“It’s just clear polish,” Seth says, annoyed.

“Boring,” Aaron says flatly, unimpressed. Seth tries to pull his hand away but Aaron’s holds fast. When he tries again, he’s successful, and shoves Aaron back twice to make space between them.

Seth points a warning finger at Aaron.

[allastoredeer]

Hey I’m a huge fan of all your work, I think you’re such a talented writer and your characterisation is always on point.

I was just wondering what the plans were with your fics, I’ve been following your writing for a while and I’m a fan of Just Kiss Already and Terms and Conditions Apply, plus (correct me if I’m wrong) I think you’ve been talking about ideas for other fics? No pressure at all ofc but if you have a timeline when you think your updates might be or maybe a layout of future fic ideas that would be really cool.

Ofc no pressure, I understand it can be hard to know when you’re going to update, a million things can happen, it would just be nice to have an idea.

Once again huge fan <3

Awww thank you so much (;´༎ຶД༎ຶ`) what a beautiful thing to start my day with <3 <3 <3 <3

Haha funny you bring up other fics because I literally just started a new wip last night!

I've tried to have a fanfic update schedule before, but my brain is the organ equivalent of a see-saw. Sometimes it works (and helps me keep up with writing), and other times its as helpful as a stubbed toe. I think it's starting to teeter back to being okay with an update schedule, but that might be on account of NaNoWriMo starting next week.

Speaking of! I'm actually going to be working on "Terms and Conditions Apply" for NaNoWriMo. If all goes well, I'll have that fic fully written out by December 🙌 which makes it much easier to stick to a posting schedule!

As for "Just Kiss Already" I have the next three fics planned out, and I'm polishing up the outline for the cannibal cookout (which is the next one that'll be posted), but my motivation has been severely lacking recently. Lot's of life stuff happened and I'm still scrambling to catch up with it all.

You ever get brain fog so bad it feels like you need to relearn how to write? The fog be fogging.

It also might be on account of getting stuck on one WIP, so I'm trying to cycle through my other WIP's to see if that'll get the creativity flowing again. I'm also working on my contribution to the "Quacks and Tunes" radioapple zine (which ya'll should definitely check out ಠ‿↼).

Crossing my fingers that I'll be posting fics again soon 🤞I miss writing and I'm very eager to get back into it.

[flyingwargle]

clara's writing notes: we'll make it work (we always do)

it's difficult for writers to share their progress beyond the final, completed product, and i want to make a post (and hopefully future posts) sharing my process from idea to fic. i hope that other writers would find this helpful, or at least you can see how chaotic i can get haha. more under the cut!

part i. planning

i got my assignment in june, with my giftee requesting a road trip. some tags included angst with a happy ending, idiots to lovers, and confessions, among others, but these are ones that i focused on.

initially, i wanted to do something similar to paper towns by john green, where suna sends osamu on a roadtrip across japan and suna confesses to him at the end, but it didn't quite fit their prompt. i also thought about something with magical realism (another tag requested) but i couldn't think of anything either. this is when i started working backwards.

so, now i know that sunaosa will confess and get a happy ending, but there needs angst. boom - suna going overseas for volleyball. the prompt asked to include komori, atsumu, and aran, and komori and atsumu, who likely have front row seats to their pining, would orchestrate a road trip to force them to confess. aran ends up becoming the guy with a car.

with that foundation in place, the next question becomes: where should they go, and how should i plan this?

i did some research on common road trip routes in japan that started either in hyogo / osaka or tokyo. eventually, i found the romance road that could take anywhere between 3 - 5 days. using different itineraries and maps, i devised a route, what attractions would be fun for the boys, as well as tropes that'd work with komori and atsumu's plan for a confession.

(my sis inspired me to use some reverse romance tropes that was circulating on twitter at the time. i used two for the first 2 days but stopped afterwards since they didn't fit)

after making a rough structure outline to determine the plot arc and chapter count, it was time to make the chapter outlines.

part ii. outlining

i always make outlines, no matter if it's a oneshot or longfic. sometimes i wing it, but most of the time, i need some kind of structure. plus, it's fun to outline the larger events and then insert small snippets of dialogue for each, whenever i come up with it.

it was during this phase that i used locations and timestamps to serve as scene breaks, and show forward progression.

the amount of detail for my outlines vary from simple sentences to long descriptions with lots of details. this is because i brainrot some scenes and think about lines of dialogue or prose, while for other scenes, i'm like, eh. they're there because they're there.

once the outline is complete, it's time to start drafting.

part iii. drafting

all my fics go through at least two drafts before posting. not saying that posting first drafts is bad practice, i just prefer to give my readers something polished, and since this is a longfic, the process takes much longer.

i started the first chapter while on vacation because i wanted to get ahead, knowing that in september, i'd be busy with school and work again. i hadn't thought about how to start, so i just went with the first thing that came to mind. (this introduction was cut because it didn't feel relevant to the overall fic, but here is a snippet of it)

the first draft clocked in at 31k, which is about the same count for the final draft. there weren't too many differences, aside from the introduction and some minor details, like the rings at the end and some conversation points. before starting the second draft, i always give it shelf time (i.e. stepping away from the work completely) before doing a complete readthrough and taking notes of what to change or include for the second draft.

shelf time varies depending on how much time i have and what other projects i need to work on. i finished the first draft in september and since the due date wasn't until next month, i waited until the first week of october before coming back and doing the second draft. some parts, i copy and pasted some passages since they fine as is, and for some, i rewrote completely to be more succinct.

hopefully that gives you a bit of insight of how my drafting process works. i hope to do this again with origami hearts (my next thing that i'll definitely publish) and future works!

[decembercamiecherries]

Hi, I got into your Hetalia fanfic Wild Card a while ago and I. am. OBSSESSED! Then I realised it wasn't finished and I rushed to your profile, and here I am. Do you still intend to complete it? I'd hate to pressure you to do it because I'm sure that you have a very valid reason for not working on it - even if that reason is simply not wanting to write it anymore (I know the feeling). But there's a part of me that's holding on to the hope that maybe you've just forgotten it or been lacking the motivation. The former is pretty self-explanatory but, as for the latter, I'd like to tell you that a lot of us love the fanfic. I found it through Reddit as quite a few people listed it as one of their favourite fanfics. So yeah, we'd really love it if you could continue writing it but we also understand if you can't.

Best wishes!

aaaaaa omg thank you so much, your message brought the biggest smile to my face!!!! I'm amazed that anyone out there remembers that fic at all honestly, the last time I updated it was so long ago and it was my first attempt at writing a serious long-chapter fic so it wasn't exactly the most polished thing I've ever posted haha!

That being said, that fic holds a really special place in my heart and I'm so happy to hear you and others love it so much!!!!!!!

I technically do have enough written of the next chapter that I can post it but unfortunately it is all hand written so I have to find the willpower to type it up ^^;;; so I do expect the be able to post that one day I just can't predict when that will be. Ideally there should be an epilogue posted after that but I don't have any of that written at all unfortunately.

I do have a post explaining the official ending I have in mind for the fic though in case you'd like to see it! I'll link it here.

Thank you so much again for reaching out to me, you made my day with this ask!!!

[sere-ness-ima]

HWS Poland during the partitions: the full timeline (1795-1918) [1]

...but it will take a long time to write, so I will divide the infodump into parts. Haha, divide into parts, get it?? Because Polan–

<concering muffled noises>

...this part contains the following topics:

[1.1] Why offing Poland during the partitions is a terrible move [an essay-flavoured rant]

[1.2] What I'm going for in shaping my hetalia universe [a short boring disclaimer]

[1.3] TL;DR Feliks' timeline 1795-1918 [because I'm not a clickbait type]

The actual essays [nessays?] detailing the events and providing contexts and sources will come later, and hell am I excited for it.

[1.1] An introduction

I’ve been sitting on it for almost 10 years at this point, which is a lot of time to sacrifice to a fictional character’s fictional biography. And I’m speaking about 123 years of Poland’s geographical non-existence, which even my fellow Polish fanfiction writers often skip by unaliving him and only letting him resurrect in 1918 after regaining independence, with cool phoenix metaphors and a jazzy remix of *Poland is not lost yet*.

It's not that I hate this concept utterly, because I have even attempted to write a fic just like that once. I couldn’t resist the picture of Poland, the snobby, aristocratic, moustached, hot-headed peasant-owner from the end of the 18th century, suddenly waking up in the middle of barely-post-WW1 turmoil, with the world having changed SO MUCH since the times he last remembers that he’s like a caveman released from a block of ice in the middle of modern-day New York. Oh, yeah, and his job is to rebuild a country which he lost- wait, he losT FOR HOW LONG???

Yeah, I like the idea. It would be a fascinating comedy plot. But let’s be realistic. The clue of all my rambling is, Poland just before the partitions and just after the partitions are two completely different people, but there’s a road between them, a story of Feliks changing drastically over the 123 years, a story which is absolutely delightful, emotional, hilarious, and honestly the director of The World should get an award for it, because oh boy does Feliks’ character arc HIT HARD. (And I’m not the director here. I’m the film editor, at best. Just choosing the best scenes to bring to light based on a personal whim.)

[1.2] A disclaimer

My hetalia universe works on my own custom-made rules. I only touch canon when convenient, otherwise ignoring it completely. My rule of thumb is to make the concept of personifications as realistic as possible and to bring the “Ness Cinematic Universe” as close to a normal history textbook as possible [some people are just built different, like and subscribe if your goal is to write a history textbook of a fic too!]. I strive for historical accuracy here – but the Rule of Cool takes priority when needed, because I also strive for whatever my heart desires. All my stuff are of the “public hetalia” variety unless stated otherwise. It means the personifications and their identity are usually public knowledge and their existence is a natural phenomenon in-universe.

[1.3] HWS Poland's 19th century timeline: TL;DR

(i'm about to elaborate on each point from this list in my future posts.)

1795 – the third partition. According to their earlier agreement, Russia takes Lithuania east and Prussia takes Poland west.

1796 – Poland moves through Saxony to France… 1797 – ...and from France to Italy, where the famous Polish legions in Italy are starting to form.

1797-1814 – Poland’s Great Napoleonic Adventure :) [to be elaborated on]

1815 – the previous agreements between the partitioning sides get nullified at the congress of Vienna. Feliks has no other way but to agree on a personal union with Russia under certain conditions.

1815-1830 – he then lives a mildly peaceful life in Warsaw, but the conditions aren’t met and the tsar’s brother is unbearable.

1830-31 – Feliks revolts in Warsaw.

1831-37 – prison time (Schliesselburg fortress, Russia)

1838-1848 – Poland’s Great Emigration :) (his mental health rapidly decreasing, he moves to live in France and travels here and there around western Europe. You can insert your ship content here, though.)

1848 – Feliks revolts in Germany.

1848-1849 – Feliks revolts in Hungary.

1849-185X – prison time (Spielberg castle, Austria [nowadays Czech])

185X – 1861 – passed from Austria to Russia, he once again accepts an offer to sit calmly in Warsaw and try not to break anything. [the plot of BSA the fic happens here – for those who know :) you can also use this time for your ship content.]

1861-1863 – mildly chaos with occassional patches of prison time (Warsaw Citadel)

1863-64 – Feliks revolts in Warsaw.

1864-1866 – Poland’s Not So Great Exile To Siberia :)

1866 – Feliks revolts in Siberia.

1867-1890 – a free time slot. Show your OTP some love here. Personally I want to see him in Austria-Hungary, Prussia works too. So does going west and crying into France’s sleeve. So does prison time in Irkutsk, Siberia. Let him have a trip to China. Or Australia. Do your worst.

1891-190X – I’d love to see him in Russia around here, though, in Petersburg. At least when he’s not running wild and committing crimes.

190X-1914 – I’m currently reworking this section. The old version had him start WW1 in Prussia, in the Prussian army, then switch to the Russian side. The new one will probably have him do the exact opposite, so he’d be starting in Russian.

1914-16 – not like it matters, because he manages to fight for all the three occupants’ armies (until they notice he's jumping sides and...

1916-1918 – ...have him sit on his ass till the end of the war).

1918 – he finds his people eventually, or they find him. And the real fight starts now. :)

...see you in the next nessay, which will probably be all about the three acts of partitions and making an attempt to paint a picture of Feliks the moment his country collapses? We'll answer cool questions like:

"should the partitions be blamed on Feliks or is he helpless about his people's stupid decisions",

"was the canon partitions scene with Poland laying in the snow actually the battle of Maciejowice (1794)",

"is Austria the kind one, because you know, Hungary likes Poland"

"yeah but how can we make it pruspol" And more! Maybe I'll even add a picture to the wall of text. As a treat.

[meekmedea]

I love clemensias relationship with her father in your fics, but I feel like we rarely hear about aelia. would you be willing to share some thoughts about aelia and endymion’s relationship and/or aelia and clemensia’s?

Aww glad to hear you enjoy Endymion Dovecote's appearances! You're right - we don't hear as much from Aelia as we should, so we should fix that :)

Endymion Dovecote/Aelia Beauchamp

While they met during their Academy years, they didn't truly know each other/get together until University.

The clementines.

How it started: a sour clementine that Aelia was complaining about to Psyche (Felix's mom) and Endymion overheard.

Those words stuck around as he was looking for things to invest into. And oh, what's this, a new/sweeter variety of fruits? SOLD. He'll invest if they start their research with clementines.

He impulsively bought the rights to the clementine variety once it worked. And has since never regretted it.

Endymion didn't mean to pull a Pavlov with the clementines - but he sort of did, as he kept getting tongue tied around Aelia. (Nero Price made fun of Endymion for weeks as he watched this unfold)

Eventually Endymion got past that, finally got the ball going on conversation. Sparks flew and the rest is history :)

Terrified that she'd scared Endymion off after the first time she'd introduced him to her family, but he decided to stick around and she was like 'Mine.'

Despite him being well off, after getting married, Aelia continued to work at the Beauchamp owned jewelry business - Lavinium. (Some of the 'old guard' look down upon her working - "it's her merchant class roots" - but neither her or Endymion care for the rumours.)

Aelia's jewelry is well known amongst the elite - one, she comes from a jewelry family. Two, every year for her birthday, Endymion schemes to get her something custom and gorgeous.

Aelia & Clemensia

When pregnant with Clemensia, she was craving clementines a lot. Enough so that she could polish a good amount in one sitting.

Definitely the one who Clemmie got her fashion from. Pre-Rebellion, Clemmie was probably one of the most stylish infants around for blocks.

Probably brought Clemmie around Lavinium too during that time. (Unexpected bonus - Clemmie boosts sales when she goes up to customers and is like "Woah, you look so pretty ❤️" The Dovecote charm has customers being like, "You're right, it does look gorgeous! I'm buying it. 🥰")

Aside: ulterior motive - get Clemmie associated more with Lavinium and considered a possible contender to inherit after Aelia's brother. The Beauchamp family inheritance is messy if you've seen previous posts about them haha

Actually not that great with hair - Aelia can do basic hairstyles on her daughter, but Endymion is actually way better at it. (She's a bit jealous haha, but Endymion will do her hair too).

Aelia is a bit stricter of Clemmie's parents and in times of stress, also the more level-headed. (Neither are super strict, it's just that Endymion is more likely to give in to Clemmie than she is).

Photo of Aelia Dovecote née Beauchamp on a casual day...

Art isn't mine, but from using this pic-crew

[voxofthevoid]

Hey, I actually don't know if you've ever answered the question I'm going to ask (I'm like 90% sure you did lol), but you're very active on Tumblr, so I couldn't find an updated direct response 😅 - have you ever considered to post more often on ao3, not just one chapter for each work you're currently posting? From my understanding, all JJK and Marvel works you have on a current schedule are finished? And don't get me wrong - of course you have life and I don't mean you SHOULD post everything all at once, but as a fic writer myself - I do not have a patience to sit on my works for long! Like I need to share my obsession I have with certain ships ASAP. For example, your Shibuya Swap fic - someone already picked on that too - will take 2 years to post! That's insane, I don't know if I would like my own stuff in 2 years enough to not feel embarrassed about it and delete, and you will be coming back to it on a monthly basis for 2 years at best, 2.5 at worst, if something will not change the schedule by that time.

Or could it be, that those works aren't actually *finished* it's just that you have a general idea or "drafts" how will it start, progress and end?

I really admire your consistency though, but sometimes can't help myself, but think "Man, I wish you'd post *that* fic more often, it's SO good!" Or post like one fic, just 3-5 chapters of it in a month or sum. But alas, I will restrain myself from begging on my knees in the ao3 comments, because I can understand how annoying it can get, FAST (I dealt with certain people there, too).

Have a great day and please don't take this question as an attack, I'm just a desperate fan of yours, who can't even mind my own business most of the time due to being an ANNOYING person with ADHD lmfao🙏

You WILL see me generally commenting *OMG SO GOOD WOW HOLD UP* gibberish on your works, though (it is a threat).

Haha, don't worry, I won't bite your head off for this. No offense taken or attack interpreted 💜

I have answered a few versions of this question before, twice in relation to JJK and at least once in relation to MCU. They're all somewhere in this tag (link only works in browsers), and the former two will be more recent...but well, that tag has 127 pages of results and Tumblr search sucks balls; even I can't find my posts most of the time, so I definitely don't expect others to. But I did hunt down the most recent one: https://voxofthevoid.tumblr.com/post/746745605036064768/hey-i-was-wondering-why-you-post-one-chapter-a

As for stuff you've asked that's not covered in that answer—

My works are all finished, not just drafts. The "plot bunnies" I talk about are outlines of varying detail, but the fics I'm posting to Ao3 as well as the fics I've posted in previous WIP Wednesday installments are all complete. They need editing, but my first drafts are essentially my final drafts. I proofread to catch typos and grammar errors and to generally polish the phrasing. My day job is editing, which means I'm extremely lazy about editing my leisure writing, but I manage a decent pass.

Regarding how I feel about my work years down the line: I've more or less settled into my writing style. It's still changing and growing, and I enjoy experiments and challenges, but the base quality is at a level I'm content with in terms of both prose and mechanical elements. I'm not embarrassed by anything I've written after 2018, and I don't really see that changing. I will always see the flaws prominently, both objective and subjective ones, but I'll also see the strengths. The older fics (2014–2018) are of significantly poorer quality as well as clumsily executed in many, many ways, but I'm still proud of my ideas and absolutely delighted by how they still entertain so many people. Regardless of my personal feelings toward my writing at a given time, I won't delete my fics.

As for patience, I am indeed patient 🤣. Well, for a year or so, I've been posting snippets from whatever I'm currently working on as WIP Wednesday posts, so I am actively sharing the pieces that I'm working on, but I'm pretty comfortable with sitting on the full stories for months or even years. It just doesn't bother me.

The only issue with how I build a backlog is that once I lose interest in the ship/fandom, my posting slows down, and I get 100 times lazier about editing—to the point I'll likely post the rest of my MCU and Bleach works all raw and dirty. One of the reasons I'm posting as much as I do for JJK is that I'd like to avoid a similar fate in this fandom. Fool's errand with how my inspiration and writing function, but hey, no harm in trying.

And, in line with the post I've linked above, even if I had fewer fics on the roster, my pace would remain a chapter a month per fic. Let's say I suddenly stop writing and also whittle my backlog down to only 2 fics: That won't mean I'll post 3 chapters each for those 2 fics every month; I'll still only post twice a month in total—one chapter from each fic.

As long as no one's being rude or entitled (I've seen some asinine takes about prewritten fics being posted slowly), I consider people wanting more of specific stories as a compliment! However, you'll have to be patient right along with me 😂

And that's a wonderful threat; I look forward to it 🥰

[yujeong]

Tagged by @justanothervariant in this writers' ask game - thank you so, so much🥺

Rules: Go to your published works on AO3 and list the first and last fics you published there, a fic for a fandom/ship you've only written for once, your favourite fic in the fandom/ship with the most works, the fic you wish more people read, the fic you agonised over the most, the fic that sprang fully-formed from your mind with minimal effort, and a work you are proud of—for whatever reason❤️

First fic published on Ao3: My VP retelling fic called Little House on the Hill. I had the immense desire to write their story from my POV and I decided to start posting it last December. I haven't touched it in months unfortunately, due to other projects I'm working on rn but I will get back on it soon.

Last fic published: Shoot me, a fic that was part of the game "Guess The Author" on the kindergarten mafia discord server, in which Vegas has to choose who to kill between Pete and Macau. A fun angsty little concept that has a happy ending :3

Fandom/ship I only wrote once: just a kiss, a PorschePete fic which was a way to scratch the itch of seeing them almost kiss during ep 4. I don't have any other ideas for them, so it'll probably be a one-time thing.

Favorite fic in most popular fandom/ship: VegasPete are my babies and the ship with the most fics on Ao3, which makes me super happy. My favourite fic for them is Dead End, a gift fic that I wrote for the amazing @xxhappy-chickenxx. Post canon Vegas angst, the way I adore it.

Fic I wish more people read: Honestly, all of them, because I'm an insecure bitch who gets an adrenaline rush from hits/kudos and especially comments, but if I had to choose, I'd say (Not) Family, a 500 word fic about Vegas and his relationship with Kinn and Tankhun, because I advocate for more fics in second person POV (it's so much fun writing it and it's so rewarding to read if it's done well enough, more people should try it) and Guilt Trip, another 500 word fic that explores the relationship between Macau and Pete during the hospital era, because MACAU AND PETE ARE PRECIOUS AND THEIR RELATIONSHIP GIVES ME LIFE, OK? (Stay tuned for the extended version of that btw. I know I said it's coming soon like months ago but I mean it this time, hopefully it'll be here by the start of November🤞)

Fic I agonised over: Dead End. That's it, that's the post. No, for real though, VegasPete post canon angst is something I wanted to try for a while but I was always afraid of fucking it up. The feedback I received for the fic made me believe that I did a good job with it though, so I guess it was all worth it in the end.

Fic that popped out fully-formed: This doesn't happen to me haha I don't have fics fully formed besides some basic plot elements and some vibes but I guess the closest it's come to that was Broken Vows - a fic in which Kinn takes revenge against Vegas for Tawan in the pettiest way possible. Idk, I had written the basic structure of it one random day and then polished it a bit and submitted it for the server's GTA. It was very fun to write in general, I'll admit.

Fic I'm proud of: I'll just say all of them because I feel it in my bones. Even Bitter Hearts, Clouded Minds, the second installment of my Heroes and Villains series which I am very mixed about, is a story that came from my heart and slipped through my fingers onto the doc document and then on Ao3 so, I can't say I'm not proud of releasing it into the wild. KinnPorsche The Series gave me my passion for writing back and made me start writing fanfic, something I had never done before so I'll forever be grateful for it. English isn't even my first language so I'm glad I pushed my insecurities aside and gave fanfic writing a try 🥰

I'll tag @wisteria-daydreamer, @therealblessedaffliction and @fleet-off, as well as any other writers who want to join in ✨

[shivunin]

Fic Writer Bingo

Thanks for the tag @greypetrel c: I am basically a pro at having figured out how to edit these things now. Totally. hahaha

So:

My original account was one I used when I was 12/13 and it was horrible oh man. The writing (I was just a kid) but also people were super cruel if they didn't like it. I didn't write anything for fun for a very, very long time afterward because I assumed people would hate it and be awful to me about it.

I have only ever had a beta for the Big Bang thing. Everything else is edited entirely by me---and though I do enjoy editing and making things fit together a little better, I do get this horrible rush of self-consciousness every time I post a new piece. I usually hide my phone from myself because it makes me so anxious.

I have mixed feelings about research, because I tend to get so fixated on being accurate that I no longer want to write the story afterward. So I try to mix just enough research in the pre-writing stages with finding character-related things that I enjoy so it stays balanced. Similarly, my outlines tend to be sort of general or I lose interest in the story and abandon it. I need a series of goalposts, but if I work out all the details in advance there's nothing fun for me to discover.

I have unfinished/unpublished fic like you wouldn't believe. Also. I realized just now that the "has a fic that deserves more attention" square is not intended to be a "you should probably finish it, huh?" thing and was likely supposed to be about feedback/recognition. Whoops.

I am only a multifandom writer in the sense that I have also written Mass Effect fic that's just...not quite polished enough for me to work up the nerve to post it haha. It's what I am fiddling with in the background at the moment.

So I kind of have a Bingo c: I half-erased that very last one and put it back a couple times. It mostly counts, I think.

Here's the original! I am trying to grab most of my writing moots, but sorry if I miss anyone, of course. Tagging: @scribbledquillz @heniareth @idolsgf @transprincecaspian @gaysebastianvael @ndostairlyrium and YE

[merv606]

I feel like, in terms of favorite younger Macchio looks, Naked in New York and Cuba and His Teddy Bear always get mentioned. (As they should, he looked like an angel in both, though polished in one, tousled in the other, haha.) But what about Eight Is Enough (still blows my mind he was 18 here omg) or Teachers for baby!Macchio? Crossroads (though I hate his hair) and Distant Thunder (miiiight be my favorite, he’s so sweet here) for him finally looking like an older teenager. Some of his looks are totally underrated, and I wish they were used in more fic descriptions.

Whenever I think of eight is not enough I remember the interview where Ralph was trying to rent an apartment while shooting and no one believed his age / even after showing ID.

Eventually his manager had to come down and the he was able to get one 😂

But speaking of younger Ralph - there’s also Up The Academy - which was shortly after Eight is enough, I believe.

I think I made a post about how Distant Thunder Ralph needs more love … such a criminally underrated look!

Teachers is usually never mentioned and Crossroads … I have a love hate relationship with that hair 😆

Sadly though I do love his hair and overall look in Too Much Sun 🤦‍♀️

And that sweet pic of him and Phyllis with what looks like his and her matching perms in the 90’s (probably around the same time as too much sun 🤔)

Personally I tend not to describe him - that way you can imagine whatever combo you want, unless it’s a one shot during Cobra Kai or inspired from a scene/pic in which, not much can be done about that lol

A few times I have mentioned in the notes of actual stories what I pictured or used for inspiration but most times, it’s up to the reader what look that what to believe he’s rocking.

[stereax]

hi, i'm stereax! an intro

Check out the Discord! Check out Cap-Sized!

I'm Stereax, you can call me whatever you want though really. Any pronouns. New Jersey native, half Polish half American. Was studying International Relations in Geneva, Switzerland, living in Fr*nce because the rent is cheaper... I got around, I guess LOL. Back stateside now, though, studying law!

Note: If I'm not following you, it's not because I don't like you, but because I have weird mental blocks and follow exactly 60 people at all times. Don't ask. I see everyone who interacts with me on a regular basis and I love you all <3

I'm primarily a Devils fan (obviously, from NJ so). If you don't know the Devils yet, here's my 23-24 primer! (And here's their 2023 playoff run primer!) Oh, also here's the Kingdom series of poetry I wrote about those 22-23 Devils and set to pictures.

Secondary teams are the Knights and Panthers. I'm not accepting criticism at this time, sorry :)

I follow quite a few other NHL teams with varying degrees of care - not going to list who I like and who I don't, but if you name an NHL team chances are I can talk at length about them. Yes, even the Rangers.

On top of that, I'm getting into major junior and college hockey, so that's fun! Always down to chat about those. Also keeping eyes on European leagues too. I just... really like hockey, haha.

I'm also fairly decent at talking puck on the more technical side of things (cap stuff, trades, team compositions, discourse, etcetera etcetera) - a lot of my asks, and my Cap-Sized work, revolve around this and I enjoy taking the time out to parse these things out for those who may be confused about them!

My inbox is ALWAYS OPEN. Send me whatever you want. Questions about hockey, the Devils or any other team, my life, comments, posts, fics, WHATEVER. I'm not kidding, please talk to me, I love answering asks, getting recommendations, or whatever else have you. Hell, drop into my DMs if you want! (Also, if you need a beta reader, I have a red pen that's waiting to be uncapped :D although I tend to go ham with grammar stuff...)

More yapping under the cut -

I have a super secret (not really secret at ALL) side blog that is way more famous than I am on hockeyblr. I'm pretty sure all of my closest mutuals have figured it out but I'll pretend they haven't LOL. There's also @devils-pirate-crew which is a half-askblog half-fanfic thing that I was updating every other day to motivate myself to write on a regular basis and is currently on hiatus for the past year (so you can tell how well that's going)...

I have a weird tagging system where I double-tag most Devils players: once is for the actual name of the player, the other is a "funny" tag that I just like to use. I'll probably compile a list of those and put it here at some point.

Some important self tags you should know, though:

My most used tag is #beat reporter stereax which is frantic reposting of Twitter things (and sometimes other things) that are hockey news. If you're not interested in that, block that tag now, because I tend to post a LOT of news under it. Also see #off the beat for NHL news that isn't really NHL news but is too funny not to share.

#stereanswers is my general answer tag, all answers and stuff go in there. #stereanalysis and #stereducation are generally for longer-form talks about hockey on the technical side, with the former being for most/all technical hockey considerations (whether shorter or longer) while the latter is generally for longer but hopefully quite informative posts. #sterechats :) is non-directly-hockey related posting (although I tend to try to keep that to a minimum).

There are also #sterepoetry for hockey-related poems I write and #stereax plays a tag game which I think is self-explanatory.

But yeah, I think that's about it! If you have any questions... there's a big red button that reads "wanna talk hockey?" up there to put them in :D

[cal-writes]

⭐️star⭐️ for the writers ask game if you're still doing it? 🥺

sure!

Fanfic Writers: Director’s Cut

Reblog this if you want readers to come into your ask box and ask for the “director’s commentary” on a particular story, section of a story, or set of lines. 

did you have a particular story in mind though? you can specifiy if you'd like. other wise mhh sth ive been dying to talk about

well a lot of my wips im dying to talk about but they arent done so i'll stick to something ive already published!

Fun Fact for my RvB Fans

A Fragmentary Picture was written partially in 2014 while i was working in a hotel doing breakfast service. some days were so slow id just write fanfic on the notepad i had for taking orders with. i used to do that a lot actually. most of the fics written like that never got typed down. i always really liked the dynamic of wash and maine and the whole idea of how wash got from prison to going on a manhunt with the meta was intriguing. i usually have a problem of thinking in one shots - many of my story ballon into big arching adventures and end up abandoned in my wip folder. im happy i got this one polished and done though! there was some more stuff in that story that i didnt publish or really finish - yet. who knows maybe one day

-

Most people here are probably more interested in Detco stuff I imagine so

I was really worried posting Glue Trap I even considered posting it anonymous or making a second account that wasn't tied to my main. its fucked up content matter and fandom really hasnt been kind to that sort of thing in the past. but people surprised me and were really nice! it was a good feeling to know i can explore fucked up shit without getting cancelled haha (pls nobody get any ideas) but yeah

-

for the Future Detco AU actually another fun fact. originally the stories happened in a different order. the order of the series is the chronological order but when i initially drafted the timeline (yes i have a whole spreadsheet with the order of events post canon and its massive) i had Make a Home and One Trick Pony switched. dunno why i think mostly just because i always intended for shinichi and heiji to get their shit together muuuch later. they still arent even together adjhgdjk slow burn my guys. i have parts of them actually getting together written already but Lucky Charm needs to be done first. im usually working on several installments at once so i also have parts of their engagement storyline written but thats muuuuuch muuuuch later in the pipeline for me. i also got another one shot for future au basically done, i should polish that up. my beta reader has been very busy currently sadly so i dont want to swarm her with work

-

i have also plotted out the Black Org AU with some significant changes to what i already posted here. got a few scenes written. i do hope to have that out eventually but its not a priority right now. sadly the reaction to that one and some people's entitled comments made me less enthusiastic about it so i pushed it back but depending how i feel the whim of writing that is a future possibility.

[thenexusofsouls]

That fic sounds super awesome! I know you said it’s too long to be posted here, but I know a lot of authors who primarily write here split their fics into parts. If you wanted to go the AO3 route, maybe you could put a link to a document with all the external stuff and then have that in the notes of the fic? I’m not sure which would work better. The town sounds like it’s a super interesting muse, and it’d be cool to have various muses go through that situation, so I’d say go for it! :)

__________

{i am the caretaker of souls} So... I had accounts on both AO3 and Fanfiction.net, but I haven’t used them in so long, for all I know they’ve been deactivated for inactivity by now. Although I think my FF.net one is still active because I still get kudos for things on it. Or is that AO3 that gives kudos, haha, I don’t even remember. But anyhoo. Assuming I could activate those again, I could post the fanfic there. But here’s the thing. A lot of these site have rules again posting links, advertisements, outside things, etc. So I’m not sure I can attach any links on either of those sites and still be within their guidelines.

What I did was make a list of songs that are the “soundtrack,” and then inside the fanfic, I wrote things like “song for this chapter is #6″ or whatever. So that’s.... gonna be hard to do on a fanfiction site because you can’t post multiple files and link to them. All the songs are from Silent Hill games except for one that’s from Parasite Eve, but I usually use Y.ouT.ube as my go-to music thing because a lot of other platforms are too obnoxious for me to use. (I’m of the generation that could just download music and then load them all onto a little player and play any song I wanted anytime I wanted without having to make playlists or hear commercials or only be able to play a certain number of times without a subscription, all that stuff is just so annoying to me it’s not even funny.)

And then for the creature explanations, I did have some links to outside sources, but mostly what I did was write up my own explanation of what each creature symbolized in the game(s) it was in and then connect it to Nuada somehow, for those who wanted more behind the scenes understanding of what I was doing with the creatures. Because Silent Hill is very symbolic, nothing is random, there’s deeper meaning behind everything, heh. So I tried to recreate that in my fanfic as well. But again, a lot of fanfiction sites don’t allow you to link to outside sources or add supplemental files, so... I dunno I’d have to look at what I’m allowed on each site and see what I can do.

I am leaning towards maybe writing up the town of Silent Hill as a muse, even though I may not get a lot of interest in it. It’d still be fun to write it up, heh. But my first priority is finishing the fanfic because that’s already 95% done, so if I can just finish it, edit, and polish... it should be good to go. Thank you for your encouragement, though, and if you (or anyone else reading this) has any question about the fanfic or Silent Hill in general, feel free to ask!

Just a little disclaimer though: please be careful if you decide to watch the Silent Hill movies, particularly the first one. The games too, but for those looking to just kindof quickly get an overview, make sure you know what to expect from the first movie. It’s a great nutshell slice of the world of Silent Hill, but it contains... multitudes of triggers. Please take care if you watch it! If you want to know if your triggers are in it, feel free to ask and I can tell you. I want everyone to be safe and have fun, not to be seriously upset by anything. <3

[olderthannetfic]

Hi! I love your blog! Thanks for doing what you do! I had a question about a03.

tl;dr Nowadays, I see essayists suggesting a03 turn into a social media-ish website. In the making of the a03, was it ever discussed to have the archive include social media mechanics (like group chats, PMs)? Where does this idea come from? Is there a history to it?

Long version: I wandered the Interwebs and spotted an essay critiquing a03. The essayist posited that fans would be better served if a03 had a "closed community" option, where only a select group of users could see a fic. This community would be able to socialize in a group chat or message board--it sounded like they wanted LJ back, or to reinvent Discord. This wish puzzled me, because a03 is an archive, not social media.

I understand wanting to keep a fic private, but ao3 already has functions for that: orphan the fic or Unrevealed/Anonymous Collections. Or, yanno, a fan could post their fic on a private Discord, or a password blocked Tumblr. Or email their friends. There are lots of options. When it was brought up that the essayist could use a03's code to make their own semi-private archive, the essayist responded that making an archive was too much work, and nobody would find their fic, ever (which is what I thought they wanted...?).

I'm puzzled why this essayist wanted a03 to be everything all at once. Isn't it enough that it protects our fic and stores our history? We can log in to other websites to talk to each other.

Thanks for reading this ask! It got way long, haha.

--

In the making of the a03, was it ever discussed to have the archive include social media mechanics

Constantly and persistently.

People were desperate for The Next Livejournal just as people a couple of years ago were desperate for The Next Tumblr.

Since LJ was the platform people were thinking in terms of, group chats weren't mentioned so much. I don't recall if PMs were, but LJ (and now DW) have fine gradations of privacy filters and also PMs, so that kind of thing was inherent to the premise.

From the beginning, astolat and other founders were very clear that AO3 was not going to be social media. Period.

--

The functionality that essay describes sounds like exactly what Dreamwidth is good for. In 2022, one could easily make a private com there for one's friends' fic. The sorting isn't as good as AO3, but if a com mod tags well and it's a smaller group of people and fic, it's still pretty convenient. The privacy controls are excellent.

In 2007, as OTW/AO3 was being proposed and discussed, not everyone was down with moving to DW or using it that way. Some people had beef with Denise, founder of DW, and some didn't think enough of fandom was moving there to make it suit their needs. Denise is great and they should get over it, but the latter problem is always an issue on any platform.

--

The biggest conceptual issue is between two camps:

LJ fandom and pre-LJ fandom.

Livejournal reigned supreme for most of a decade, just like Tumblr did. Also like Tumblr, tons of fans got into fanfic and related stuff during that time and took the platform and its specifics as How Fandom Works: the natural and eternal default. When platform change happened, people said "We can't go to X! It doesn't have basic feature Y!"...

And then everyone left for platform X and they were all alone.

The highly distinctive feature of LJ is that the fic posting and the social stuff happened in exactly the same space. I hated this. I loathed reading fic on LJ. To me, this was a newfangled and worse way of doing fandom. But if you got started on LJ, that's The Way Things Work.

Immediately prior to LJ and overlapping with that period was the era of fandom archives. I was very used to doing the socializing and serializing of fic on a mailing list, then posting finished works to an archive. The first posting was a little more polished, but it's not dissimilar to twitter threadfic now. You know it's hard to find later, so you clean that shit up and store it in the long-term storage, which is an archive.

The split model of twitter+AO3 or tumblr+AO3 or discord+AO3 is culturally very similar to mailing list+older archive or usenet+older archive.

Even the older archives that had a lot of social space often still had mailing lists and other offsite more ephemeral social spaces feeding into them. The LJ model was a departure from the norm. It was just a very influential and popular departure.

[katyasrussianaccent]

i don't wanna be your friend, I wanna kiss your lips (corpse x reader)

Summary: Corpse suggests you flirt with each other to mess with the fans. What happens when you suddenly catch feelings?

Authors Note: This has been in my brain for so long so I decided to write it. May or may not write a part 2, im not sure. Lemme know what you think! My requests are open for fic/headcannons aswell 💖

It should have been simple.

Flirt, mess with the fans a little, sit back and relax.

It should have been simple.

You remember Corpse coming to you with the idea.

“Why would we do that?” you had asked, frowning at your phone screen. It had been another late night phone conversation with him; something that was starting to become a regular occurrence.

You pictured him shrug as he answered. “Fun?”

“Are you so bored you wanna make a fake relationship with me?”

“Not a relationship. Just do what we do now, but like, more.”

You had agreed before your brain had even registered it. On paper it was straightforward. You already flirted a little anyway, you were naturally a flirtatious person, and so was he. It made sense; or at least you had told yourself that it did. You knew the fans already shipped you together, you saw the things they tweeted as you occasionally lurked the ynhusband tag on Twitter. It was just innocent fun right? No-one was going to get hurt.

For a little while that was true. For a little while he called you baby and you called him darling and it meant nothing. Your face didn’t feel flush when he commented on your latest Instagram post and your heart didn’t do a little flip when he would call you just to see how you were. The phone conversations were your favourite; curled up in bed with the phone on your pillow, trading secrets into the night. He had suddenly become this constant in your life, this almost routine familiarity like brushing your teeth or going to get milk.

You weren’t sure what changed, when it had gone from being innocent fun to meaning something. It was like someone had flicked a switch, and Corpse was no longer a warm glow but this bright, blinding light that hurt your eyes to look at too long. It was almost cruel, the way you wanted something so unobtainable; the universe’s idea of a joke had no humour in it. The thing with Corpse was he was so unaware of the power he had. He was mysterious yes, but he was faceless among a sea of faces; of course people were drawn to him. And you were just another.

You started to pull away. You played different games with different people, you ignored his tweets. It was easier, if you never interacted with him, you could pretend there was nothing but shallow feelings instead of the crashing waves that threatened to pull you under. The fans had started to notice; your streams were filled with questions that you refused to answer.

“Where’s Corpse?” you read aloud as you scrolled down the chat. “Probably in his house? Go ask him.” Your tone was bitter even to you and you inwardly cringed. He hadn’t contacted you in 2 weeks, and while you were thankful, you were hurt by it. It was stupid and hypoctritical of you to be upset by something that was your own doing, and you weren’t sure what you had expected from him. He had other friends, other people to talk to, why would he have cared about you anyway?

Your phone lit up next to you, and you ignored the pang of disappointment at Rae’s picture flashing up.

Rae: Among Us???

You hesitated for a second. The likelihood of Corpse being there was high, but you knew deep down he wouldn’t say a thing to you, not on stream or in front of your friends. You could just ignore him, like you had been doing and it would be fine. You weren’t sure you believed yourself anymore.

“Guys, you want to watch me play Among Us? I’m not sure who’s playing, other than Rae.” You looked at the fast flowing stream of affirmatives and emojis. Guess you had to do it now. You opened up the game and joined the lobby.

“-yeah she looks really fucking cute,” you heard Corpse say as you logged in. You looked down at your outfit,; he definitely wasn’t talking about you in your oversized t-shirt and sweatpants. You had been on stream for a few hours now; your eyeliner was smudged a little and any lipstick had worn off with the constant drinking and licking your lips. No, he definitely wasn’t talking about you.

“Hey guys,” you said tentatively, swallowing down the feeling of jealousy at Corpse’s previous words.

A chorus of greetings hit you, and you smiled at their enthusiasm. You had played with Rae, Sykunno and Toast a few times before, but Felix, Jack and Ash were new to you, though you knew of them.

“Hey Y/N,” Corpse said. You had hoped after 2 weeks he wouldn’t still affect you so much, but the way your stomach turned said otherwise.

“Hey Corpse,” you replied, hoping your tone was casual.

“I haven’t seen you in a while, how are you?” he asked.

“Oh. Uh yeah, I’ve been a bit busy I guess, how are you?” You looked down as you answered, picking at your nail polish. You glanced at the chat that was filled with messages.

corpsesbaby: You can always tell when someones lying coz they look down” llamadelrey: why is this so awkward lmao arent they friends??” simpsforrae: This is like is a breakup i swear

“I’ve been okay, thanks” Corpse answered, drawing your eyes off the chat and back to the game. You nodded as you muted your mic to go back to your stream.

“I hope I don’t get imposter, I always suck at that so much.” You watched as the screen counted down and the word IMPOSTER flashed up alongside Corpse’s name. “Guess I jinxed it guys.”

Great. Not only were you imposter, you were imposter with Corpse, which meant you would have to actually speak to him. Maybe you wouldn’t have to.

You both followed Rae as she walked up towards Greenhouse, and you cornered her while she did her task, killing her quickly.

“Everyone seemed to go right, so we should vent back towards cafeteria to avoid suspicion,” Corpse said.

“Okay,” you answered. You vented together, and you muted your mic to laugh. “This is kinda cosy guys.” You said to your chat. You briefly imagined what it would be like in real life to be so close to him.

You moved to Admin where Toast was doing his task. Before you could say a word, Corpse had already killed him and you both vented outside Cafeteria. “Fuck, that was so close,” you muttered, chuckling a little.

“Don’t worry, I got your back,” he replied, making your heart sing a little.

“Oh my hero,” you said, making a point of swooning to your chat, your voice high and airy. “How will I ever repay you?”

He chuckled, “You shouldn’t ask questions like that.”

You flushed at the suggestive tone he had taken, and you hoped it wasn’t noticeable but judging by the comments in your chat, it clearly had been. This was another issue you had with Corpse; he always made these type of comments with you and it was really annoying. You knew there was no chance he was being serious, and sometimes you wished he would stop it purely because it got your hopes up.

delilah: shes BLUSHING dreamofme: uWu yn uWu

You opened your mouth to respond when Dead Body Reported flashed up, bringing your thoughts back to the game.

“Toast and Rae are dead,” Sykuuno said. “I found Rae in Greenhouse and Toast in admin.”

“I was in balcony, I went there from the cafeteria,” you said confidently. You hated being Imposter, especially being teamed with Corpse, who was so good at the game, you had a lot of pressure to do well.

“I was in MedBay, I didn’t see you YN,” Ash accused.

“You only see if they enter through the left door. She entered through the other door,” Corpse answered for you.

“And how do you know that?” Felix asked.

“I was in Cafeteria,” Corpse replied.

“You could’ve vented YN,” Jack said.

“No I couldn’t have, if Ash was in MedBay, she would have seen me. Unless she wasn’t in MedBay,” you suggested, smirking to your cam as you muted. “It’s not going too bad I don’t think? Always feel like I’ve been arrested when I’m Imposter.”

“Little sus of you Ash to say you were in MedBay when you weren’t,” Corpse said. You gaped a little at how easy it was for him to manipulate the situation, it was almost scary.

Ash argued as the other players began to agree and discuss among themselves. You smiled in success at the text on the screen.

Ash has been ejected.

You split up this time, and while you hadn’t really spoken during the game, you kind of missed Corpse’s astronaut next to yours, and you said that to your chat. “Haha, our colours did look cute together, I agree.”

Any previous trepidation you had had disappeared as soon as you had heard his voice; and you realised how much you had missed him. You would simply just need to deal with your feelings; they would go away eventually anyway. You just hoped it wasn’t too late for you to start again with him.

You walked to MedBay with Skyunno, making small talk as you did.

“I’m glad to see you playing with us, it’s been a little while,” he said and you felt bad that you would have to kill him. As you turned towards him, ready to kill as he did his task, Jack walked in. You mouthed oops at the cam.

“What’s going on here?” Jack asked, suspicion in his voice.

“I was just saying how nice it was to have YN here,” Sykunno replied. You stood and faked your task, watching the green bar fill as you did. It would be too risky to kill here.

“Ah yeah, Corpse has been asking after you constantly,” Jack said. You blinked at the response, it had caught you off guard.

“Oh?” you replied simply. You mentally shrugged it off. Of course he would have asked about you, you were friends, that was all.

DEAD BODY REPORTED

“Felix was dead in Reactor,” Corpse announced. “Oh Corpse, you’re taking a risk here” you said to your chat.

“I was in MedBay with Jack and Sykunno,” you replied, smiling as they agreed. “Where were you Ash?”

She sighed sadly. “I was in Labs, but I was doing a task, I swear!” You all agreed quickly that Ash would be the next voted out.

“2 to go,” you said triumphantly. “I thought I was gonna drag Corpse down, but it’s going okay!”

The round started again and you could feel yourself getting tired. Hopefully this wouldn’t be too much longer to finish the game.

You circled round Corpse a few times, hoping that he would understand your signal. Luckily he did, and you both vented to Decontamination where Skyunno and Jack were. The room had already started to emit steam, making it extremely easy for you both to vent unnoticed and kill them both.

You grinned at the Victory message that flashed up.

“Good game guys!” you said. The others congratulated you and Corpse on your win and you smiled at the sound of your names together. You had it bad.

“It was all YN,” Corpse said.

“Pfft you ssh being humble, it was all you,” you replied, taking your hair out of your ponytail and running your hand through it.

“Your hair looks nice,” Corpse commented and your eyes widened. Your heart started to beat a little quicker. How long had he been watching your stream?

“It’s bad to watch someone’s stream without telling them,” you replied, making a show of pouting for the camera.

He laughed a little. “What can I say, I’m a bad guy,” he said, singing the last words. You laughed at the sudden Billie Eilish.

“Guys, either play another game, or get a room,” Felix interrupted. You blushed a little and rolled your eyes, the chat going crazy from the corner of your eye.

“And that’s my cue to exit,” you said, yawning. “Bye guys, have a good night!” You wished everyone and your chat goodnight before closing the stream and leaning back in your chat. You couldn’t believe Corpse had been watching you. You hadn’t said anything too incriminating, but still.

You prepared for bed, settling back into the softness of your pillows as you grabbed your phone - a terrible habit you really needed to stop.

Corpse: Can I call you?

You gulped at the message that appeared on your screen, a gnawing feeling of nervous clung to your throat as you typed yes. His name came up almost instantaneously and your hand shook as you pressed to accept the call.

“Hey,” he greeted.

“Hey, what’s up?” you asked, trying to keep your voice even while your heart beat erratically in your chest.

“It was nice playing with you again,” he commented.

You sat up a little as you held the phone against your ear. “Did you call me to tell me that?”

“I haven’t spoken to you in a while.”

You sighed a little. “Yeah, I’ve been a bit busy, sorry - “

“You’re lying to me and I don’t know why,” he replied. You had never heard his voice like that before; so angry and hurt. You tapped your foot against your mattress as you thought what to say.

“I -”

“Did I do something?” he asked. You had been so selfish; blocking him out to avoid being hurt, but you hadn’t thought about his feelings. He was more popular than you were, you had assumed he would be fine, that he wouldn’t care if you were around or not.

“No, you didn’t do anything, I swear -”

“Then what? Because I thought we were friends, close friends and then suddenly you pretty much disappear. But you’re still streaming with other people. It’s pretty shitty of you.”

You chewed the inside of your cheek and looked up, the sting of tears threatening to fall. “It was really shitty of me, I’m sorry.”

“What happened?” he asked. “Please just tell me.”

“I don’t know what I’m meant to say,” you replied softly.

“What do you want to say?”

You blinked, the anticipation of unspoken words caught in your throat, making it hard to swallow. The taste of them was bitter on your tongue. “I...I have feelings for you.”

There. You had said it. There was no taking it back now, and you felt like your heart was about to shatter with every single second of silence that passed. You could hear him swallow on the other end of the phone. “Are you saying you’re in love with me?”

You bit your lip, taking in the meaning of the question he had asked. It wasn’t something you had thought of, you hadn’t conceptualised your feelings for him, not put them in a box labelled love or anything. “I don’t know. I feel something for you. And it kinda sucks being your friend and having those feelings. So I pulled away.”

“Why does it suck?”

You laughed bitterly. “Why wouldn’t it? Feeling something for someone that doesn’t feel the same is fucking shitty.”

“I asked you to flirt with me YN -”

“Yeah, for fun,” you interrupted.

“No, I said for fun, but really I just wanted you to,” he replied. “I feel something for you too. How could I not? Has anything I’ve ever said to you sounded like it was just for fun?” You smiled at his response, your heart no longer on the fit of breaking, but suddenly doing flips and soaring through your chest, radiating warmth through your body.

“Oh,” you said, your brain was overloaded with thoughts, and was apparently no longer capable of coherent sentences.

“Oh? That’s a great response, thanks,” he teased, but you could tell he was smiling as he spoke.

“I wasn’t expecting you to say that, I don’t really know what to say honestly,” you replied.

“Well, baby, how about you say yes to a date?” he asked.

“Yes.”