#i should not be throwing all these tags on a doodle this simple but you know. admire me & also i'm sleepygirl so i'm excused

[vellichorom]

i got that cool clock 0ut hoodie on a whim & now i got that cool clock 0ut hoodie on a wimp !!!!!

[baronessblixen]

Hi ! The doodle art you reblogged with Mulder kissing Scully is so perfect ! Do you think you could write a fic about this ?

I'm not entirely sure but I think the art is THIS POST. It took a life of its own anyway. It's a fluffy post-ep for "Chimera".

Fictober Day 28 | Tagging @today-in-fic @xffictober2022 | Wc: 1,088

Yes, Honey

Mulder unlocks the door to Scully’s apartment, stepping inside with a huge smile. It falls away when he realizes that Scully isn’t standing there waiting for him. For some reason he expected her to be as excited to see him as he is to see her. Instead, there’s only quiet and no Scully. Maybe he should have called her first, reminding her that he had plans to come over once he was back in town.

“Honey, I’m home,” he says, taking off his coat. That must get a reaction out of her. The words sound wrong even to his own ears. He’s made the joke once before. But that was before they were a couple. It reminds him of the domesticity he briefly tasted in Vermont during the Adderly case. It clings to him like day’s old aftershave.

“Scully?” He asks, this time with worry in his voice. She wouldn’t have gone out, knowing he was coming over. Would she? He doesn’t even take off his shoes as he walks through her apartment. She’s not in the kitchen, the living room, or the bathroom. That leaves her bedroom. It’s only late afternoon – she can’t be asleep, can she? The door is ajar and Mulder pushes it open, a smile breaking out on his face.

There she is. She’s in her bed, sleeping diagonally with a book by her side to keep her company.

“Hey, sleepyhead,” Mulder whispers, touching her shoulder gently.

“Hmm, let me sleep,” she mumbles, only half-awake.

“You’re not at all happy to see me?”

“You left me alone on that stakeout,” she says, peeking at him with sleepy eyes. “I had to take two showers, Mulder. Two.”

“I’m sad I missed both of them.”

“It was cold and it was lonely,” she complains and Mulder can’t help but smile at her. She must have put her hair up in a bun after her shower, but a strand has rebelliously snuck out. He tucks it behind her ear, happiness flooding him.

When Ellen asked him about his significant other, he considered telling her about Scully. What difference would it have made? He does have someone. He has Scully. But what she is to him can’t be compromised into two little words or a simple definition.

“The showers were cold and lonely?”

“The stakeout, Mulder.” She crawls out from under the covers, stretching. She yawns and Mulder watches her, amazed that he gets to be here with her. There was no question where he was going to go after landing. And not just because he left his coat with her. Though that makes it the perfect excuse. If she’s going to throw him out, he can just pretend he came for his coat. The way she’s smiling at him, though, he thinks he’s going to get lucky tonight. In more ways than one.

“I missed you,” he admits. “On the case. Working without you is… it’s not the same.”

“Did anything happen?” She asks him.

“Why do you ask?”

“I don’t know,” she says, touching his face. “You look… different.”

“I leave you for a couple of days and you no longer recognize me.” She playfully rolls her eyes at him while her finger journeys over his face, following its contours. “It’s me, Scully.”

“I know it’s you,” she says. “I may have missed you too.” He loves this new version of Scully. It must have always been hidden underneath her suits and her fierceness. Every once in a while, he got glimpses of it. Now he gets the whole thing. A new side of Scully he can’t get enough of.

“Not as much as I missed you.”

“Didn’t know it was a contest,” she says, pinching his nose. He laughs at her and he can no longer just sit here with his hands by his side. He has to kiss her. So he leans forward and does precisely that. She’s as hungry for him as he is for her. She’s pulling him towards her by his sweater and just as he’s about to lie on top of her, she pushes him away.

“What?” He asks, confusion written all over his face. He wipes his mouth, staring at her.

“Why are you still wearing shoes?”

“How did you even notice that? I was worried when I didn’t see you and forgot to take them off,” he says, grumbling. Cockblocked by his own shoes. While he takes them off, Scully gets up from the bed and he groans in frustration. So much for their making-out session.

“I fell asleep,” she said. “Have you eaten? I haven’t eaten yet. How about pizza? What do you wanna eat?” She asks him, watching him with her hands on her hips. She’s wearing casual clothes, his favorite outfit on her. Unless she’s not wearing anything. That will always trump everything.

“You,” he says with a grin, reaching for her. She squeals as he pulls her to him. She crashes into his chest, and both of them laugh.

“I’d like something substantial first.”

“You are substantial to me,” he says, proving his point by holding her face, kissing her everywhere he can reach. Her forehead, her cheek, an ear. He wants all of her. She smells like her shampoo and tastes like herself. He can’t get enough of her. He’s been craving her ever since their first kiss.

He bites gently into her nose, making her giggle harder. The corner of her mouth and she stills in his arms. He can feel her smile against his own lips; taste it, too. He kisses it right off of her, making her moan into his mouth. What Ellen said to him rings through his mind as Scully tugs on his shirt, her hands searching for skin she can touch. This is what he wants. She is a refuge for him. Just as she hopes he’s the same for her. Whether they have the classic, standard run-of-the-mill marriage or not. It’s them.

“You’re thinking too much,” Scully says, teasing his lips with her tongue.

“That’s not something you accuse me of very often, Scully.”

“You owe me dinner, Mulder,” she says, continuing to chase his mouth.

“Anything you want,” he says. Yes, honey, is what he thinks.

“Right now,” she says, pressing a kiss to his jaw. “I want you.”

“What happened to substantial food?”

“Later,” she says, shutting him up with her mouth. “You whetted my appetite. And you owe me this, too.”

Yes, honey, he thinks again, gladly letting her have her way with him.

[issaxcharlie]

Owen hosts Couple tag

Pairing: Charlie Gillespie x Artist Fem Reader

Summary: We play pretend world guys✨ (I missed them, I’m SoRryyyy.) So, Charlie wants some reassurance after starting to prepare his proposal to Y/N and makes this “genius” plan with Owen to find her answers without being suspicious. (She totally knows tho) also a lot of friendship fighting between Owen and Y/N because I had to, I made myself laugh a lot so I’ll hope at least makes you smile🤧🤣Anyways, have fun!

This is also my weird and nonsense way of doing sweet @marvel-ousnesss request of the we play pretend couple to do a couple buzzfeed quiz 💖

The blonde takes a deep breath before picking up his phone and heading to the living room, where his couple of friends and roommates are on the couch. Charlie is lying down watching television and Y/N is lying on top of him with her face snuggled into his neck, he hugging her around the waist while gently running his fingers down her skin.

The plan was simple, to help Charlie plan the perfect proposal and give him an idea of what she expects from her wedding, they were doing a “Couple tag” video. That way the questions wouldn’t be as suspicious. Of course, there are easier ways but we are talking about Charlie. They convinced Kenny to call her and tell her that it was to promote the second season that is currently being filmed, and she agreed.

Charlie mentioned many times that someone else had to ask her the questions because she reads her boyfriend like an open book, so his improvisation had to be perfect to keep his best friend’s clever girlfriend out of the hook.

He decided to start the live from his room so as not to give the singer the opportunity to think much about it, so he sits in the living room and focuses the image on his friends who are not affected in the least by their positions. After all, everyone already knows that they are a couple and that they live together.

“Hello, I’m Y/N Y/L! And yes, that sexy, beautiful, adorable and talented man is my boyfriend, Charlie Gillespie.” He blushes as the memory of their first night back as a couple invades the mind of the Canadian, who had his girlfriend in exactly this position when she was, as she said, 'practicing' her introduction. Sadly, this time it will not end like that night because his best friend and about 500,000 people are watching.

“Welcome to my first edition of the Couple tag everyone! Here's my first guest couple, I know it’s not much, but I promise to find someone worthwhile next time, this is just for practice." Charlie laughs but looks nervous. Instead, his girlfriend sits down and rolls her eyes.

"I can't believe you chose him over a puppy or a hamster." The girl says to her boyfriend while laughing at her friend's offended reaction.

“I'm going to write that down in my long enemies list, but for now I have a live to lead. Okay guys, so basically I will ask them questions and I will also choose who answers them because I’m the only one hot enough to call the shots here."

She laughs and sticks out her tongue. Charlie sits down too and she takes his hand to fiddle with it. She keeps arguing for a few minutes with Owen but shows no signs of not wanting to play the game so he starts before she regrets it.

“Okay, first one is for Charlie. How did you guys met? This is actually a good one because a lot of the fans think you met on set and are like this really intense couple who started to date the very first week without even knowing each other’s last names.”

They both start laughing at the comment. The truth is that they have seen multiple posts and comments online from people judging their relationship and how fast they were going, especially when they did that last interview together and Y/N said that Charlie was taking his sweet time to ask for marriage, since for the fans they only have one year and months of knowing each other.

“We have known each other since forever. Our moms were best friends and we were born only a few weeks apart so we've always been together. We grew up as best friends and were dating before Y/N moved to New York to play Daniela on Stardust." Charlie tries to shake off the memory of the last tearful kiss before Y/N got on the plane. Hopefully he’ll never have to part from her for so long again. Sometimes he can't even understand how he managed to get through those 5 years.

"So no, we don't know each other for just one year, but 22." She adds, kissing his nose.

"Y/N, honey. I didn't ask you, don't be rude and wait for your turn." Owen says teasingly, the girl laughs and throws a pillow at him.

“Okay, rude again. Y/N, What is the first thing that he ever gave you?”

“Oh my, this beautiful valentines card! We were like eight I think. The paper is red, and it is filled with gold and silver glitter stars. Inside is a big star that has written in the middle, “My bright star, happy valentine’s day. I love you. And a lot of doodles of my favorite things, like my guitar, a microphone, chocolate, and a little Charlie. Just adorable, I still have it and to date it is one of my favorite gifts.”

The emotion with which she responds makes Charlie's heart melt. That was the first time he called her bright star, and he kept saying it to her during every audition, every performance, every practice. The exact reason not even she knows, but maybe one of these days he'll tell her.

“Rude and a liar. The 22-year-old Charlie's handwriting is horrible, the 8-year-old Charlie handwriting could only be close to a squiggle, nothing more. Oh, and probably only you had the ability to read it. I very much doubt that was beautiful."

She opens her mouth in surprise and wrinkles her nose, feigning annoyance. “I liked you more when you had a crush on me. You were nicer.”

Owen's eyes widen and he turns to see Charlie looking for help but he just starts laughing. “Wh- What are you talking about, mean girl?”

“Oh c’mon, you totally did, Ohio.” She smiles at the camara while showing a superiority face.

“Really? I already told you a thousand times, I'm from Oklahoma. But hey, how funny, forget about Stardust and audition for Funny Girl!”

“Jokes on you, I would nail Fanny Brice.”

“Man, defend my honor!”

“Bro, I can’t. You totally did, I even got worried for a second there.” It is incredible to think about how their friendship has grown and matured over time. They went from Owen fangirling every time he saw her to being really good friends. All these fights are more of a show than anything else, the truth is that when nobody is recording they tend to be very cool around each other and the three of them have quite a pleasant dynamic now that they are living together for the show.

“I won, Idaho. Now, please continue.”

“Well, my friends embarrassed me on my own live. I can already imagine the headlines tomorrow. Anyways, Charlie, Would you let yourself in danger to save her?”

Charlie starts laughing as he drops his head on the girl's shoulder. "I think she's not going to let me lie, I always have and will continue to do so. For me it's always her safety first."

"Which has given me more than a scare but he's so freakin stubborn." She adds while looking stressed and Owen can't help but imagine all the situations Charlie must have put himself in before.

“I prefer you scared than in danger, beautiful.” He grins and kiss her lips, her facial expresions relaxing at his touch.

“Gross. Y/N, do you prefer a small wedding or a big wedding?” She can feel Charlie tense at the question, so she leans her body back to support it against him and give him a lowkey reassurance.

“I hadn't really thought about it, but I know that my almost mother-in-law has been planning it all her life so you should check with her.”

His mom. Y/N is right, as always. His mom is their biggest shipper and the wedding is probably something she’ll want to be an importart part of, maybe way more than with his brothers since she adores the girl as much as her own kids, and the fact that his girlfriend is even more aware of that fact than him makes him smile.

“Do you love it when someone refers you as ‘her boyfriend’?”

“Always. Especially if it's her. She has that little knack of saying it whenever she can and it’s the most adorable thing in the world.”

“Oh I thought she was just showing it off to me because she was intimidated by our chemistry. I don't feel so special anymore.” Charlie chuckles and sends a secret air kiss to his friend, who just smirks and fakes to blush.

“How would you handle it if you thought another man was hitting on her?” Owen asks the guitarist raising an eyebrow.

“She usually takes care of that situations, her method is to take me by the shirt and kiss me hard on the lips. I’m never going to complain about that.” Charlie says smirking and blushing.

“We are a celebrity couple, for better or for worse. I’m not having him in a fight when I can just kiss that beautiful lips and solve the problem.” Charlie smiles as he wraps his girlfriend in his arms, so she can't see his face with the next question.

“What do you dream of your marriage? Mmm, let’s go with Y/N.”

“Anything will be perfect if I spend it with the man of my life. My Char is my everything and my biggest dream is to live my whole life laughing by his side.” Owen pretends to vomit as Charlie fills her with kisses under the ear, clearly moved by her answer.

“Let’s get to someting less cheesy because I really can’t with you both anymore. Has anyone ever tried to break your relationship?”

Charlie rolls his eyes and thinks for a moment. “Yes. We were like seventeen, and this guy from hockey had this big crush on her, so he tried to flirt with her many times even though everyone knew she was my girlfriend, until one day that he made her too uncomfortable and things escalated between him and me. Luckily my brothers intervened before something else happened because he was much bigger than me. I would have totally lost.” He chuckles while his girlfriend turns to see his face and gives him another sweet kiss on the corner of his lips.

“Yes guys, they are this annoying all the time. How do I survive? A lot of yoga. Next question, If three guys are standing, and you have been blindfolded, then how would you recognize him? Guys we actually did this like three days ago on set.”

“It was awesome! We put my bandana on her eyes and since it had my smell she couldn't be guided by that to choose.” Charlie explains excited.

“We got the three of us, first Jeremy then Charlie and then me in front of her, then she began to lightly touch Jer's hand. Then she went to Charlie's, it didn't take her a minute to recognize him and she took him from the hair and draw him to her lips, it was actually a pretty smooth and risky move, I’ll give you a point for that, prodigy brat.”

“Char's body inadvertently reacts to mine. It was pretty easy to tell the difference, especially after touching Jeremy's hand.” She turns her head to give Charlie a soft kiss on the lips and then Owen starts laughing like crazy and telling her to come see a specific comment.

She gets up and goes to sit next to him, Owen changes the camera so that now they are the ones in the image and she begins to read aloud. “Charlie I could give you my... Oh my god!” Owen continues laughing, resting his head on his friend who simply watches the screen in shock.

“Thank god Charlie doesn’t know how to read.” Owen, who was just recovering from his giggling fit, laughs again as Charlie giggles and sticks his tongue out at his girlfriend.

"Who needs to read when you look this hot with sleeveless shirts." He jokes while winking at his partner, which seems to melt in front of the camera that is still pointing directly at her.

“The man has a point. Okay, Y/N move your ass back there I’m still in charge of this show. Would you prefer a silver or gold ring?”

She makes sure to move off the screen and sticks her middlefinger at Owen before heading back to her place with her boyfriend. “Good and really random question.” She smirks, not making contact with her boyfriend. “I don't have a preference, but I would love Char to design it. Obviously with the correct guidance, but yeah he choosing every detail and then explaining to me why he choose it would be the dream.”

Charlie smiles. He was already imagining something like this after so many years of gifting and has already been visiting the jewelry store several times to make sure he designed the perfect ring for his girl, a slight feeling of pride filling him.

“Which series does she thinks resembles your relationship?”

“She loves Boy Meets World and see a lot of us in Cory and Topanga. I can totally see it too, after all they too have known each other their whole lives and have a bond as strong as ours.”

“Well that explains why she’s always telling me ‘Life is though, get a helmet’ instead of actually help me.” She grins at the memory of Charlie’s last prank on Owen a couple of days ago, it was really good since she secretly helped him plan it.

“Man, It wasn’t personal. I do the same with Char. I’m not going to be known for being the one ruining prank war. Take it to the end of the road, if you need me to take you idiots out of jail I totally will... eventually.”

“My girl, everyone. Isn’t she awesome?” He watches her adoringly and she blushes in response, buring her head on his neck.

“She always has this enormous energy and personality but all it takes is for you to see her for her to melt, that’s... kind of cute actually. Okay next question Stardust, What about If Charlie tells you to marry him tomorrow?”

For the thousandth time that night Y/N can feel Charlie stressing out. The fact that he planned together with Owen and Kenny all of this just to make sure he was on the same page with her is the most adorable thing in the world.

“I’m pretty sure he knows I would always say yes. He could have gotten on a plane when we were 18 and told me ‘I don't want to be without you, let's get married.’ And I would have said yes. He’s my person, I have nothing to think about, I have always known it’s him."

Now it's Charlie's turn to melt, and Owen himself can't help but smile.

Charlie's confidence in what he has planned is higher than ever, and the day when he can finally make it official is near. He has been dreaming of this day with his Y/N for years and he will finally get it.

“Well guys, that was it, give it up to my favorite couple of dumbasses and please stop asking obvious questions. Will I be Y/N’s maid of honor? Of course I will. Oh, and tune in next week to see me becoming Kenny’s new favorite after I challenge Y/N in a dance duel with I got the music. Golden star is GOING DOWN."

Thank you for reading✨

NEXT PART HERE

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13 , @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @dpaccione @tuttigunner

[a-supernatural-writer]

hcs for poly! tlb with a fem! s/o who’s style is dark academia and is really blunt/logical and smart. she basically gives off a ‘mysterious, quiet, dark, critical’ vibe (she also doesn’t really know how to handle people who are extremely emotional and she doesn’t know how to soothe someone. she’s just really oblivious/clueless when it comes to others feelings). i’m so sorry if what i requested doesn’t make sense or if it was too much. i am seriously incapable of writing anything without making it look like an essay lmao. love your work btw 💕✨

Dark Academia Fem! S/O 

Poly Lost Boys x Fem reader

I had so much fun writing this! I love the dark academia aesthetic! And it made perfect sense and it wasn’t too much! Having a lot actually helps me expand and write more so thank you. And I’m the same, once I have an idea, I write a lot, so you’re all good! And awww!!! Thank you!!! 💗💗✨✨ I really appreciate it! I hope you enjoy!

Okay, so you are very different compared to the large number of characters on the boardwalk. Your style consisted of button shirts, sweaters or turtle necks, dress pants or a plaid pleated skirts, cardigans or waistcoats, oxford shoes or even wire framed glasses if you wore them for seeing or just for the look. 

To say that you caught the boys attention would be an understatement. You seemed to stand out amongst the crowd and they became curious. You were a mystery to them and they love the challenge. 

Somehow, someway, after days or weeks later, you became good friends which soon lead to you dating four trouble making punks. It was tough on both parts, but it happened, and hey, you weren’t complaining. 

You were very blunt when you first met them, not really interested in them and more or less interested in the book in your hands. It took a lot of “accidental” run ins to even get you to hang out with them. 

You slowly opened up when they offered to take you out for dinner at a local diner. They’re constant joking soon had you letting out small, almost whisper-like giggles and tiny smiles that sent them into a frenzy. 

When you would start talking about yourself, your ideas of fun were different from theirs. You liked museums, opera houses, bookstores and going to theaters to see plays. The games you played were chess and cards, and the music you listened to was old. You were pretty sure they thought you were boring but you actually peaked their interest. 

After a while of being friends with them, they asked you out. You liked them and the only logical step was to see if you liked them the same way they liked you was to date them, so you said yes. 

In general, them having a girlfriend with a 1940s/1950s dark prep look was fun. David and Dwayne like it the most. Paul next, then Marko. 

David actually really likes picking out your clothing on most days. You have an extensive collection of clothing with material from cashmere to linen, all the colors consisting of browns, black, cream and even a little dark green. 

His favorite thing to put you in is trench coats. Doesn’t matter what color it is, he just likes seeing you in them. Also, there are a handful of times that he has MADE you wear his trench coat. Yeah it almost swimmed on you, but he thought it made you look cute and it fit in perfectly with your look. 

Dark academia isn’t only your style, but it’s your way of life. David is the one that plays chess with you. You had to reteach it to him and pretty soon, the two of you had your own little set up in the cave that was always ready for a game of chess. 

David is sort of like you… in a way when it comes to others feelings. But deep down he knows that he really likes you and tries to show it the best he can. He took you to a theater to see a play that you were constantly talking about and so he took you on a date. You being you, didn’t realize that’s what it was until he told it straight to your face. Let’s just say you were speechless for the next hour. 

Also, when it’s just the two of you, deep inside the cave where your nest is, classical music is playing from your record player. It could be Beethoven, Tchaikovsky or Mozart. Whoever it is, David is the one that will listen to it with you the most. I think he really enjoys classical music and he enjoys it even more if the two of you are cuddling in your bed. 

Occasionally Dwayne would join the two of you. You would be sitting in between David’s legs as Dwayne sat in between yours, his head leaning back against your chest. It was like a cuddle pile… cuddle train?? Whatever you wanted to call it, it was cuddling while the three of you relaxed listening to classical music. And it was darn cute. 

Dwayne loves listening to you go on and on about any books you were reading at the moment. Whether or not it was nonfiction or even about any type of history. He was down. He lived through a lot and he knew about half of the stuff you gushed on about, but for some odd reason, it never bored him when you talked about it. 

He would be the one to get you new books, leaving you sweet little notes tied to them. Of course you thought it was just him being nice and thanked him for it without thinking there was any romantic meaning behind it. Yeah he was one of your boyfriends but it never really crossed your mind that way. He would just shake his head at your obliviousness and give you a small peck on the lips. 

Don’t ask him why, but his favorite look on you is a light cream colored blouse with a plaid skirt and Mary Jane shoes. Dwayne is a leg man so… he’s very happy when decide to show off some skin if you decide not to wear knee-socks or stockings with it. Even if you did wear them, he would still be attached to your side the entire night. 

Like David, Dwayne would bring you out to a lot of places that were opened late at night. If there was an art exhibition in town or even a museum that was open late, just say the word and he will happily drive you on his bike. Heck, David might even tag along. 

Also, late night bookstore dates… oh my heart, it’s too sweet it hurts. There are times that he does have to throw you over his shoulder when the bookstore is closing and you're pretty much refusing to leave. When he does that, you just stay frozen over his shoulder, not knowing if you should be blushing or cursing at him for carrying you like a sack of potatoes. 

If anything, you and Dwayne connect very well. You’re naturally very quiet and so is he. Not much is said between you two but there's a mutual understanding that can’t be explained. While the others are out causing trouble, you and him are on the sidelines watching hand in hand or your reading and he's just staring at you as you do so. 

Paul and Marko kind of give you whiplash. They’re loud and rowdy and definitely 100% opposite from you. But they interested you. They had a very chaotic outlook on life which made you ask many questions. 

Paul found your look sexy. He’s horny and you give off preppy school vibes, he’s living for it 24/7. Constant teasing of you giving him ‘private lessons’ which results with you whacking a book against the back of his head. But it doesn’t stop the reddening of your ears which doesn’t make him stop.  

This man is also your designated jewelry expert. You only wear some accessories and they're very simple. So you are very surprised when Paul finds you jewelry that is your style and collects it for you. You like leather watches, guess what, he’s got it for you. You want some fancy victorian looking brooches, he’s got that too. Simple rings with a single jewel in the middle, expect constant ‘will you marry me’ jokes, but he gets you the best.

Also, he’s not overly big into your music selection. He does try to get you into his type of music, which you only like very few and far between. But when you do get him to listen to your type of music, it’s only if you agree to listen to his music the next night. You guys come up with a system and decide to switch every few nights. 

Each of the boys have their favorite look on you and Paul's is when you wear a button-up of any color with a simple black tie, a pencil skirt and a pair of Dr.Marten boots. He especially likes the tie… for reasons. God damn it, you know the reasons, get out of here. 

He’s a very affectionate boy and he finds your looks over confusion some of the cutest shit he’s ever seen. Probably the first one to tell you that he loves you and you honestly like glitched out. Did you feel the same way? Yes, but poor little thing you doesn’t say it right away, but Paul knows that you aren’t really used to saying things like that without warming up to it. Which is okay. He knows even if you don’t say it. 

He definitely steals one of your blazers to put pins on it. Marko helps, putting a few patches on it that they both know you would like. It’s the one item that stands out in all of your clothing and you will wear it if they ask you to. 

Marko definitely thinks the look is cute and it suits you very well, but why no color?! You wear dark colors but nothing bright like the colors that are on his jacket. He tries to slip in some colorful clothing into your everyday look, it never goes as planned but you give him an A for effort. 

He loves how dark you can be at times though. You want to go to a local graveyard just because? Sure! Let’s go! He’s your designated graveyard buddy. You have many date nights there, looking at all the different gravestones and finding it interesting when you jot down some names in one of your notebooks. 

Speaking of notebooks, you have many of them. They were filled with notes from books you’ve read, real life observations or even just some random poetry and short stories that you wrote. Marko would go through them a lot and even sometimes draw little doodles or rough sketches that were thought up from your writings. 

When you spend nights down at the Boardwalk, your go to drink isn’t a slushie or a milkshake or even a soda. It’s coffee or tea. Yeah, and only Marko knows your drink orders by heart. None of the others seem to remember them correctly which you thank them for trying but Marko has got them all beat. 

Marko likes seeing you in sweaters and in your trousers or linen shorts with chelsea boots. If anything, when the two of you are alone, just wearing a knit sweater and shorts were perfect for him. He likes how cozy and warm you look. He’s very happy when he cuddles you and you are warm. 

Now when they tell you that they’re vampires, you think that they’re joking. Vampires aren’t real, they’re a work of fiction. Yes there was a real man named Dracula, but there was no way that they were actual vampires. 

Then they showed you hard proof and then there was no denying it at that point. Instead of running away, you were fascinated. You wanted to understand your boyfriends vampire ways that lead to you conducting extensive research and a notebook dedicated to them. 

They showed you everything about them, how they feed, to which you didn’t bat an eyelash of watching them feed one night. You were one morbid chick but they saw that as a plus that you didn’t react. You had graveyard dates for crying out loud, nothing really surprised them at that point.

Flying came next and they had a lot of fun showing you just how high they could go with you in their arms. You never screamed at the height, you were too caught up in seeing the overhead view of the town. You could get used to seeing a view like that every night.  

Then came the other things; how they slept before you came along, what actually hurt them and what didn’t. There was one time that you stared at their vampire faces for hours because you were taking notes on how their facial features changed. 

Soon you had to stock up on more turtlenecks because of the many bite marks they would leave behind from feeding on you if the weather was bad one night. It wasn’t tough adapting to their occasional feeding. A lot of your clothing already covered up your skin so it was easy to hide from people on your nights out. 

Not too long after, they popped the question. Would you want to be a vampire? Live forever, never grow up? Be with them for all eternity? You didn’t really need to think about it for too long, you knew what your answer was and so did they even if you didn’t say it out loud. You loved your boys and not much would change.

When you did change, it was entertaining for them to watch. You soon started taking down notes about your progress, comparing and contrasting your experience to their own. 

To the eyes of many, you became even more dark and mysterious. You had an aura around you that drew people in, it’s what got you your four vampire boyfriends, only now, it brought in your meal for the night.

[milknette]

day 18 - bookstore

cause lately i don't even know, what page you're on.

tumblr month: @auyeahaugust

links: ao3 | ff.net

THE first thing Marinette thinks as she pulls out the notebook is, that doesn't belong there.

And she's right— she knows Fu's Bookstore in and out; it's been her favorite place starting from when she discovered it in high school, and Marinette's practically lived there ever since.

(It's come to a point that some customers have assumed she's worked there, asking her questions as if she were an employee. Marinette still answers them even if she's not, just for the simple reason that she can.

Mister Fu doesn't mind either, assuring her that he loves the company and spirit she brings to the business.)

So Marinette always makes it a point to help whenever she can; her own personal way of saying thank you for providing her with a second home.

Today, she's organizing the books and placing them on their proper shelves.

It only takes a moment for her to notice the out-of-place and bright red notebook peeking out from the selection for Books About Superheroes.

"Weird," she quietly mutters to herself, wondering if someone had left it behind by mistake.

(But in case it was, then why would they shelf it, of all things?)

Curiously, Marinette opens the notebook.

On the first page, written in almost perfect handwriting:

'Up for making a new friend?

If yes, turn the page and write something!

I think that together, we'll be meowvelous.'

On the bottom is a drawing of an all-too-familiar catlike superhero, but was depicted so poorly that she almost couldn't identify it at all.

Marinette sighs.

Okay then. Guess she'll be writing something after all.

.

.

Adrien almost trips as he runs to the bookstore.

Maybe today. Maybe today someone actually replied!

He sneakily makes his way to the shelf, carefully watching to ensure that nobody's looking behind him. Adrien wraps the black jacket closer to his body in an attempt to hide himself.

Then, he opens the notebook.

First, he thinks with complete joy that, someone read it! This actually worked! He'll have a new best friend like in those coming-of-age movies and—

He flips to the next page.

'Please don't use the bookstore for your antics and jokes. I'll leave the notebook here for you to take back.

And Chat Noir, really? We all know the superior hero, and it's not him.'

Drawn below is an extremely intricate drawing of Ladybug, the superheroine of the Miraculous comic, arms out and holding her token yo-yo.

The sketch is so perfect that Adrien's tempted to rip the paper off and keep it for himself.

Instead, however, he decides to write back.

.

.

'Hey, it's not like I hate Ladybug, but we have to give Chat Noir some credit too! His puns are purrfect; absolute comedy gold.

But I love your drawing! Are you an art major?'

'His puns aren't all that clever. And you're not that great either, come to think of it. Maybe you could learn from Ladybug and start speaking more seriously?

And not an art major, but I'm in fashion design. I just like sketching in my free time. You, on the other hand? You could do with some practice. :-)'

'Then, teach me maybe?'

'Believe me, we're going to need a lot more notebooks if you want that to happen.'

.

.

Marinette doesn't know what makes her keep replying.

Maybe she doesn't want to lose a possible customer. Maybe the boredom of summer was finally getting to her. Maybe it's the fact that she pitied him because of his poor drawing skills and pure lack of taste in choosing superheroes.

Or maybe— maybe it's because she wants to know more about the strangely-optimistic and overly-friendly mysterious boy hiding behind the notebook's cover.

They continue their writing exchange for months.

(And have consequently gone through their fifth notebook to date. She figures that if they didn't doodle as much, they'd probably end up wasting much less paper.

But then again, Marinette does like seeing his awkward drawings decorate the pages.)

.

.

Their first argument over paper starts when Bookstore Stranger uses two whole pages to draw Ladybug and Chat Noir— sharing a kiss.

She doesn't even compliment him on the drawing.

'WHY ARE THEY KISSING?'

'Why not? I think they're in love! :'

'No, they're just partners by profession. A romantic relationship ruins their whole dynamic!'

'Well, I don't think that's true… if anything, that'd make their relationship that much stronger.'

'They don't even know each other beyond their masks! They can't possibly love each other without knowing their true identities.'

'So what? We don't know each other's real names.'

'Yeah, and we're not dating. Your point?'

The message doesn't come in the next day like it always does.

In fact, it doesn't come at all.

.

.

Marinette stops by the bookstore every morning.

Then every afternoon.

And even when it's closing time.

She arrives with a hopeful smile, then leaves feeling dejected and upset.

Maybe even angry.

Mister Fu asks her what's wrong.

"I found a stray kitty, and I think he ran away."

.

.

It's two weeks when she finally decides to get over it.

Marinette takes the notebook, a poorly-written #5 on its cover, and decides to throw it away.

She's two steps away from the trash can when she realizes that she can't get rid of it at all.

.

.

A month later, Marinette's taken a job at Fu's Bookstore.

It's a lazy Sunday, and she leans her head on the desk in front of her— eyes almost closing from how quiet it is.

Until the jingle of the door opening effectively wakes her up from her nap.

She rubs her eyes as the stranger walks up to her.

"Hi, I'm looking for this specific book and I just can't find it where I used to, so…"

"Okay, let me help you out," Marinette remarks, before turning to the desktop. "What's the title?"

"I actually don't know…"

She raises an eyebrow, then nods along. (Sure, she's gotten customers like this before.) "Can you describe what the contents are like, then? Or the design of the cover?"

"It's filled with sketches and some nonsense…"

"Nonsense?" Marinette wrinkles her nose. What a cruel way to describe a book someone's worked so hard on.

"I mean—! It's nonsense to everyone else, but not to me. And hopefully not to her either…"

Now, this is dragging on longer than it should.

"Then just describe the cover, please."

He brightens up. "Yeah! It's this bright red book; notebook, really, with the #5 on it? I know it should be around here somewhere, and I need to find it, I need to find a way to connect with her again…"

"..."

"See, I know it's not a real book, and I'm sorry I just snuck it here, but it's so important to me and…"

Marinette mutters unintelligibly.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear…"

She says it again.

"Can you repeat that?"

A third attempt.

"Please, just one more time—"

Visibly irritated, Marinette grabs a book from under her desk and places it in front of him. The number almost gleams as it's exposed to the light.

"That's exactly it! Thank you—"

"You can't have this."

"What?"

"It's my property."

"Look, I know I kept it in your library but…"

"No. We worked on it together, and you got to keep the last four so it's my turn."

"But—

Wait."

He looks up at her, eyes widening in surprise.

"Ladybug?"

She points at her name tag. "Marinette, actually. But hello, Chat. It's been awhile."

[silvia7272]

ML Salt Songfic ~ 1 Good For You

I actually forgot about this, but I think I can put it out now considering you’ve all read about/seen my OC Rosina, if you haven’t it’s on my page. Anyway, I hope you enjoy and like the song.

Also, this is an AU of my AU? I guess that’s what I’m calling it yeah. So, it’s not canon and it never was going to be canon, when I heard this song it just inspired me to write this and I could’ve done it without my OC, but I wanted to include her. Well anyway, I hope you like it.

Word Count: 2553

Tags: @queenmj10, @fangirl39, @animegirlweeb, @northernbluetongue, @daminett4life, @raisuke06, @indecisive-mess-named-me, @luleck​, @themamaravenclaw, @emmathedestroyer, (I know you wanted it) if you wish to be tagged all you have to do is say. Sorry, it’s different but this was the reason I started posting in the first place.

***

Akuma Alert! Akuma Alert!

The alarms were blaring in the park, and yet no one could move from their place.

Because the Akuma was right in front of them.

It was Marinette, she had been Akumatized. But it seemed somewhat unusual, she didn’t look any different, but they had seen the purple mist cover her, maybe she was like Chameleon?

So then why did it feel like it had changed?

Adrien couldn’t tell, and he needed to transform into Chat Noir, but he couldn’t just leave his friends to deal with the Akuma alone? Right?

Lila didn’t think that, she tried to make her escape, but a musical note blocked her way. She really was Akumatized!

Her face was contorted with pain as the pink mask covered her face, she was trying to break free!

“C’mon Marinette, you can do it,” He shouted, He tried to reach out, but someone pulled him back.

“Are you crazy, she’s been Akumatized she’ll hurt you, it’s what she’s always done to us. She’s already gotten her other friends hurt because of that transformation!?” Lila spoke, gripping his arm like a lifeline. But it was true, Rosina, Kagami, Chloé and Luka all tried to reach out to her mid-transformation, but they all fell to the ground and no one was brave enough to check on them.

“Shut up!” It was the first time Marinette had spoken since she had been Akumatized, tears were raining down her face, but the blond couldn’t tell if she was talking to the class or Hawkmoth.

“Just shut up, stop lying already, just stop hurting me” She had to be talking about Hawkmoth, she must still be fighting it.

But not everyone thought that.

“Come on Marinette, for once just admit you were wrong already. It’s getting really tiring.” Alya rolled her eyes while reciting how that was the only reason, she got Akumatized in the first place, the piece of paper she was holding had been a music draft of Lila’s that she was going to throw away in the first place.

Everyone knew Marinette didn’t write songs, she only made clothes and baked treats, that the class wasn’t provided with the past few days, and Adrien did think it was strange that she had a music draft, she probably found it and would’ve returned it to its rightful owner.

Why was she so upset about it anyway?

But she stopped, she lifted her head up, her face full of shock.

“You… Really still think I’m lying?” She sounded so disheartened, and Adrien would’ve sent her a ‘don’t rock the boat anymore’ look but she didn’t even spare him a glance.

Weren’t they friends?

“Of course, Lila’s so talented at making song lyrics so she had someone write them down for her. And now you’re holding onto a draft claiming it to be your own, that’s pathetic, even for someone like Chloé never mind you. Just stop being so pathetic and admit it. You’re jealous of Lila and everything she could do for us while you did nothing but whine like a child!” Adrien thought that the last line was a bit overkill, but he wasn’t about to say anything.

But all of that struggling, all of that resistance had completely vanished from Marinette. Why had she given up? Why hadn’t she continued fighting?

“I’ll show you my Melody” It was a whisper that only Adrien was able to pick up. Melody? What did she mean by that?

But he didn’t have time to think of that before everything in his vision turned white. He couldn’t feel his body. He couldn’t move… He couldn’t…

***

“Adrien? Yo Adrien, wake up man” He groaned as he opened his eyes.

“Nino? Is everyone alright? Where are we? What happened? Where’s Marinette?” Nino put his hands up startled.

“Whoa easy there one at a time dude. Anyway, yeah, we’re fine, we don’t know it looks like a white void, Marinette happened and we don’t know”

He couldn’t believe it. When he took in the view, it was devoid of life, it was devoid of colour.

It was just white all around him, he didn’t understand it. It reminded him of Pixelator.

“Oh Adrien I’m so scared, what are we going to do?” He couldn’t shake her arm off so had to relent, everyone around him tried to console the girl.

“Stick together, there should be an exit around here, but I’ll post it on the Ladyblog, that way Ladybug and Chat Noir will come.” He sighed, knowing that his Lady would be all alone for this one.

“Hey, my phones not working!” The others then tried to get their phones. No result.

“Oh no we’re trapped in here and no one is going to save us! What do we do!?” Everyone was panicking, but what could he do, if Chat Noir were to show up now, they would all get suspicious.

Nathaniel wasn’t doing great either. But he stepped back and heard a crunch.

“Huh?” He looked down and found a note.

“What’s that?” Max noticed the discovery and went over to Nath to see what it was.

“It says [The Song Of Truth Is Your Only Escape In This Labyrinth] What does that mean?”

“And why is it on a music sheet?” A simple question they all couldn’t process.

♫I’ll never know why I ever wanted to restore my friendship with you!?♫ The voice seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere at the same time. But he knew who it was.

“Marinette stop this please, we can get through this together” He shouted, he had to get her to stop being so angry.

♫Silence. I am Marilody, Marinette is no more. And you will all be punished for your lies and harassment towards your students! My friends!♫ It was there that she revealed herself.

If it wasn’t for her hair and dress, she would’ve been camouflaged with the background. But she didn’t look like a regular Akuma, no.

Her skin was pure white, along with the white flowing dress she wore. It was embroidered with musical notes, similar doodles he had seen previously on her sketchbook. It was shoulderless with the same pattern, and her hair was the same colour but in a small ponytail to the side. Her eyes were hidden by a giant accessory in the shape of a musical note resembling a hat.

If Ladybug didn’t already occupy his heart, Adrien might be thinking Marinette was more than a friend.

“Marinette please, you’re stronger than this! Don’t let Hawkmoth-”

♫Hawkmoth isn’t controlling me! The one who made me become Marilody is myself. And I will show you the truth of what I can and have done for you selfish people, my Melody will be performed before you and you will see the truth!♫

They heard the sound of a guitar being played. And notes in the air with a red dot flowing through it.

“What’s going on?” Rose and Juleka huddled together along with Ivan, Mylène, Nino and Alya scared. He was scared. He had the power to protect them but couldn’t use it. You could sense the irony looming over the boy’s head.

♫So you found a place where the grass is greener And you jumped the fence to the other side♫

The class was treated to a front-row seat of a scene that had just happened mere moments ago. When they were at the park.

Just what was Marinette’s power?

♫Is it good? Are they giving you a world I could never provide?♫

The scene cut to Lila being crowded around by everyone while Marinette was alone.

But she was still smiling. Even if it seemed fake.

♫Well I hope you’re proud of your big decision Yeah, I hope it’s all that you want and more♫

They saw the past of when Marinette was always handing out free pastries to them, wearing that happy and bright smile on her face, they had forgotten what it had looked like.

Because it was never directed towards them anymore.

They had forgotten.

Everything she had done for them.

♫Now you’re free, from the agonizing life you were living before~♫

Then it changed to everyone leaving her for Lila, she was telling a tale of her time in Achu, Rose couldn’t stop gushing about Prince Ali. He thought the lies wouldn’t hurt anyone.

♫And you say what you need to say So that you get to walk away It would kill you to have to stay trapped when you’ve got something new♫

They couldn’t move.

♫Well I’m sorry you had it rough And I’m sorry I’m not enough♫

Everything single thing Marinette had done for them had flashed in front of them.

♫Thank God ‘they rescued’ you♫

But then Lila appeared, and everything she said was almost out of a fairy-tale, it was amazing, they wanted to hear more. They needed to hear more of her adventures.

♫So you got what you always wanted? So you got your dream come true? Good for you Good for you, you, you!♫

They were addictive. They couldn’t get enough.

♫Got a taste of a life so perfect So you did what you had to do Good for you Good for you!♫

Marinette had vanished from view but the scenes were still playing. The blond needed to find a way to free himself. He needed to get Plagg to cause a mini-explosion, to cause a distraction maybe. Anything! But he couldn’t get to him in time. Because he saw someone who he hadn’t seen since at the park.

“Rosina?” They all turned their heads to their new red-haired friend. But Adrien was able to notice, the Cat Miraculous had certain side effects he was giddy to have but that’s not the point. Instead of a black pupil, it was a musical note.

“She’s under Marinette’s control” They all gasped, horrified at what had happened to their friend. They believed her being near Marinette was bad, never mind this!

♪Does it cross your mind to be slightly sorry?♪ 

She really was under her spell! Adrien desperately wanted to shake her awake and free her, but now his arms couldn’t move.

♬Do you even care that you might be wrong?♬ 

Kagami!? Oh god, his two friends were under Marinette’s friends. He watched as they circled each and every one of his friends.

♬Was it fun?♬ 

They flinched.

♪Well, I hope you had a blast while you dragged me along~♪ 

They started to walk away when there was a whine from Lila, they were still able to turn their heads and saw Chloé, she kept prodding Lila as she cried, he wasn’t able to tell if they were even fake tears anymore.

♩And you say what you need to say! And you play who you need to play! And if somebody’s in your way! Crush them and leave them behind!♩

Even if they wanted to help Lila they couldn’t. Their legs wouldn’t let them. It was like they were in quicksand, only they weren’t sinking into the ground, they were sinking into their sorrow and sadness they were feeling. If Marinette wasn’t already Akumatized Hawkmoth would be having a field day.

♮Well I guess if I’m not of use Go ahead, you can cut me loose♮

And then they saw it.

A scene that shocked them.

♮Go ahead now, I won’t mind♮

If her power was to sing the truth.

And all of the scenes had been of the truth.

They felt sick to their stomach.

Then the scene of Lila cornering Marinette in the bathroom must’ve been true as well.

If Lila had been so kind to everyone why were the words [Soon you won’t have any friends left at all. Trust me. You will lose your friends and wind up all alone] written underneath, they couldn’t think anymore, just look.

♫I’ll shut my mouth and I’ll let you go Is that good for you? Would that be good for you, you, you?♫

Some couldn’t believe, they kept screaming how it had to be wrong, how it might just be Marinette’s doing. But the more it came on, the more they started to believe.

♭I’ll just sit back while you run the show Is that good for you? Would that be good for you, you, you?♭

Just like how they should’ve believed Marinette, and they had only just realised their mistake.

♯All I need is some time to think♯ Max. He never needed time to think, he was the smartest one in the class.

♭(I’ll shut my mouth and I’ll let you go)♭

♯But the boat is about to sink♯ Rose. Wasn’t she meant to be the kindest one out of everyone? Why didn’t she give Marinette a chance?

♭(Is that good for you?)♭

♯Can’t erase what I wrote in ink♯ Alix. She had written some things on her desk once… Twice… She had lost count.

♭(Would that be good for you, you, you?)♭

♯Tell me how could I change the story?♯ Lila. She had been caught, and she needed to spin her story. Fast!

♯All the words that I can’t take back♯ Alya. All those mean comments claiming Marinette was a bully. She was the bully. Weren’t they friends? Besties? She didn’t deserve to be called anything like that.

♭(I’ll just sit back while you run the show)♭

♯Like a train coming off the track♯ Kim. He wanted this pain to end, he should’ve trusted her, she had been the one to console everyone before an Akuma had gotten to them. And they treat her like this?

♭(Is that good for you?)♭

♯‘Cause the rails and my bones all crack♯ Nino. They had been childhood friends! How could he think she was lying!?

♭(For You!)♭

♯I’ve got to find a way to♯

♯Stop it, stop it! Just let me out!♯ Adrien. If only she had told him Lila had threatened her, if only he had done more, taking more of the brunt, if only- no he had to stop, he had to accept it was all his fault. He could’ve stopped it, but he was afraid he’d never get to see his friends again. He had to accept that he had hurt Marinette so much she had been Akumatized. He had to accept that- maybe he couldn’t save her, after all, you could never really trust someone who had betrayed you… Right?

♭So you got what you always wanted So you got your dream come true Good for you Good for you, you, you♭

They were sorry.

But images of Marinette gone from their life terrified them.

♭Got a taste of a life so perfect Now you say that you’re someone new Good for you Good for you Good for you Good! For! You!♭

But what would it matter? She probably would never want to speak to them ever again.

♭So you got what you always wanted!♭

What had they done?

They had seen the truth.

All of it.

But they didn’t have time to dwell on that, because as they continued to watch the scenes in front of them, they couldn’t help but feel slightly tired. Only a bit… Maybe if they had a small nap it would… Help.

♫The truth will come out… There will be no more lies for anyone… Anymore♫

***

End. I changed a word for Lila because I thought it would fit better. They, in the song, are Lila and a bit of Adrien. Originally, I wasn’t going to make a two-parter, however, if anyone has an idea I could use, and then a song as well, I will consider continuing this to become a two-shot. Or even if someone wants to continue this? Feel free to do so, just tag me, please.

Well, I hope you enjoyed it and I hope you have a nice day.

Edit 1: This is how Marilody looks like, I thought she’d look a bit more fashionable since you know, Marinette. and since she has more control hawkmoth didn't design her.

[shannonwhumps]

day 1: shaky hands

relationship(s): Steve/Tony, mentioned Superfamily whumpee: Steve word count: 1.4k

When Steve was a kid, he wasn’t good at much of anything...he wasn’t even good at living. He struggled to breathe and walk on a daily basis. If he was outside for just a second too long during the winter, he’d be sick in bed for days.

So attempting to develop any kind of skill would be pointless. He couldn’t play ball with the other boys in the street. He couldn’t chase any kids around to play tag. He could sit and read, but that wasn’t really something to brag about. Everyone could read.

But not everyone could draw.

Neither could he at first. Of course, his mother always complimented his sketches, but as he grew older, he knew they were nothing special. Just any other stick figure drawing a kid could have.

So, he practiced.

He spent his winters, curled up in a blanket with his mom sketching on every open space in his sketchbook. As the months passed, he could tell when his mother started to actually become impressed by his work.

And for once in his life, Steve felt proud of something he did.

That never changed. Even after the serum, his art was always able to make him feel just a little better about himself. When nothing else was going right, at least he had his art.

Until that mission.

The mission that was weeks ago.

He should be fine by now. His serum should have taken care of all the wounds and he should be good as new-- better than new. And for the most part, it did. The gash in his head was closed up and there wasn’t even a scar. The burns were long gone. His skin was as smooth as a baby’s.

It didn’t scare him at the time. It had been a rough mission and all Steve really remembered was shoving Peter-- as Spider-Man-- out of the way of a falling building. Steve was unconscious for most of it. He woke up hours later in the infirmary, barely remembering anything from the fight.

When he woke up to see Peter staring at him, that look in his eyes let him know whatever happened was not good.

It was a few days before he was awake and coherent at the same time. Then the doctors ran through the list of injuries and what was wrong. He didn’t worry about it. Burns healed. Wounds closed. But two words that did scare him were: brain injury.

For the first few weeks, he had just been slower than normal. Slower to answer questions, slower to speak for he didn’t stumble through his words, slower to react, slower to move. But he was slowly getting better. The doctors didn’t promise a recovery as all brains were different, especially the brain of a super-soldier.

The one thing that wasn’t getting better was the shaking. ‘Tremors’ the doctor called them. His hands didn’t constantly shake, but they shook at the worst times.

When he tried cupping Tony’s cheeks in his hands, they shook.

When he tried clipping Dodger’s leash on his collar, they shook.

When he tried finishing a puzzle with Peter, they shook.

When he tried drawing, they shook…

When he was with Tony and he noticed the shaking, he’d just take his hands in his and kiss them. Dodger couldn’t understand why it was taking Steve longer than normal to get him ready for their morning runs. Peter was always patient even when Steve wanted to just throw the puzzle.

But he drew when he was alone and no one was there to hide his frustrations from. No one was there to calm him down.

He was trying to finish painting a new landscape for Peter’s fishbowl because of course, they had to change it as seasons and holidays changed. He was making one that was more springy and less winter themed. The snow was melting outside and the sun was coming out for longer amounts. He needed to finish this.

But every time he tried to paint the flowers on the grass, his muscles twitched and the paintbrush jerked harshly, ruining the painting. He was on his sixth try when he had such a bad tremor that it caused his brush to make a stroke across half the canvas. And ruin it.

“Dammit!” He yelled, throwing the paintbrush to his table. When he was upset, it only made the tremors worse, but he couldn’t focus on relaxing when he was so pissed off at everything.

He looked down at his hands as they shook, whether, from the tremor or the anger, he wasn’t sure. “Can’t you just stop?” He yelled. “Can’t you just let me do one thing? One thing I’m good at?Please. Let me paint this for my son. It’s not even for me.”

He stared down at them as they continued to shake. They didn’t stop until...there was someone grabbing them softly.

He blinked his eyes, trying to clear his blurry vision. His husband was standing in front of him. “Tony, when did you get here?” He wanted to pull his hands away and hide them, but Tony held them still.

“FRIDAY told me you were upset. You’ve been doing nothing but staring at your hands for a while now…”

A while? It didn’t feel like more than a few seconds to him. “I’m trying to paint…”

Tony looked down at the table where his discarded mess of a painting was. “The doctors say it could be a few months...why don’t you take it easy?”

Steve grunted, yanking his hands away. They started to shake again. “Because I took it easy for the first 18 years of my life. I never did anything except draw...and now I can’t even do that.”

“Says who?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Look at it yourself, Tony.”

“Make it into something new. Isn’t that what your artist always says? Happy little accidents?”

“Don’t use Bob Ross against me,” Steve warned with no heat to his words. “I don’t want any accidents because there shouldn’t be. I just want it to be like normal.”

Tony turned around to his table and picked up a sketchpad and a pencil. He pushed them to Steve’s chest. “Take that and draw.”

“Tony, I can’t,” he repeated, frustration bleeding through his voice.

“Do it. Just try.”

Steve huffed loudly so Tony knew he wasn’t happy with him before taking the pad and pencil in his hands. He decided to try something simple and just draw his shield. Just a few circles and a star. He could do that with his eyes closed.

Except now, he was only a few seconds into it when his pencil suddenly veered left and ruined his circle. He couldn’t even draw a damn circle. His eyes started to burn in humiliation. “I told you I can’t do it!” He hated how his voice broke and shook just like his hands. His damn hands-- he felt like a child. He felt like he was 10-years-old again and Bucky was trying to teach him how to hit a baseball and he couldn’t even do that.

“Keep drawing, Steve. Don’t stop.”

“Tony, it’s horrible--.”

“Finish the drawing.”

Steve clenched his jaw and started to drag his pencil across the paper again. When the pencil spiked away from the arc Steve had going, Tony said, “Don’t stop,” before Steve could even lift his pencil up. He couldn’t stop drawing it until he had it finished.

“That wasn’t so hard, was it?”

“Tony, Peter could draw better holding the pencil with his teeth and drawing with his eyes closed.” Steve refused to even look at the drawing.

Chuckling, Tony said, “You’re giving him a little too much credit, love.” He sighed when Steve didn’t react to his comment. “Steve, you’re being too hard on yourself. So, it’s a little shaky. It’s not going to last forever. And even if it did, it’s still art and it’s still beautiful. No one can take that away from you.”

Steve shook his head. That wasn’t beautiful. Not compared to other stuff he’d done.

Tony hovered his hand over Steve’s hand that was holding the pencil. “May I?”

Steve wasn’t sure what he wanted, but he nodded his head anyway.

Tony placed his hand over Steve’s and started to move it across the paper, drawing with the pencil. He lifted his hand a few times when needed and when it shook, Steve wanted to pull away of embarrassment, but Tony held his hand through the twitches until they were finished. Even as they admired their work, still he held Steve’s hand.

“Looks good doesn’t it?”

Steve laughed down at the doodle. It was a messy heart with the initials T and S written inside it.

“You know,” Tony said softly, resting his chin on Steve’s shoulder. “I think that may be my favorite piece you’ve ever done.”

Steve hated that he couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. Me too."

my ao3 | buy me a ko-fi

[jewels2876]

Sweet Success

Filling a few Bingo squares with this series - I hope everyone enjoys this!

Square filled: Bakery AU - @star-spangled-bingo

Square filled: Who Can Sell More at A Bake Sale - @marvelfluffbingo

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Reader, kids Isabella and Rebecca and James

Word Count: 1337

Warnings for this chapter: fluff, 

Pics used are not mine!

Chapter One - The Announcement

Isabella stood at your side, watching as you gently laid the fondant over the chocolate cake. You grabbed your smoother and glided it, laying the fondant flat as you removed any annoying hidden bubbles. You mentally patted yourself on the back for the light pink fondant you had created & dyed yourself. While you had been baking most of your life, it was only in the last few years since your husband’s death that you had turned your love of sweets into your own home business. It allowed you to stay home with your girls, Isabella and Rebecca, while still having an income. Of course, business hadn’t always been easy, especially when you had to deal with the baker to the stars, the one and only Steve Rogers.

“Mom, do you think you could teach me how to bake?” Isabella asked as you used an X-Acto knife to cut the fondant away from the bottom of the cake. “It looks like fun.”

You turned a smile to your eldest daughter. Isabella looked so much like her dad; it stole your breath from time to time. The dark hair with the bright blue-grey eyes, his eyes, staring at you with wonder. “Sure! But how about this weekend, when I don’t have a three tiered, chocolate-mocha layered perfection that a current bridezilla demanded?” You chuckled at your own description.

“Awesome!” Isabella pulled up a drawing pad and pencil, opening to the first blank page. “Then we can enter it in the school’s bake sale!”

You turned a sharp glance to your daughter. “What bake sale?”

Rebecca entered and slapped down a bright yellow flyer. “This one! James has been telling everyone at school how he and his dad will be the talk of the town.” Rebecca poked her tongue out at her sister and ran off. You shook your head; if Isabella looked like her dad then Rebecca acted like him, all sass and attitude hiding a big soft teddy bear beneath.

You picked up the flyer and noticed the details for next Friday during the girls’ lunch hour. You considered your current workload and smiled. “Ok Isabella, do you want to do cookies or cupcakes for this?”

Isabella’s eyes widened and she broke into a huge grin. She threw her arms around you in a big hug. “Thank you mom! Can we do cupcakes? And you can teach me how to use a piping bag with the tips? And we can make them all colorful and sparkly?”

Your smile softened at your daughter’s excitement. “I’m not sure about sparkly just yet, but we can do all of those other things! Why don’t you think of a theme or color scheme you want to do? We’ll shop this weekend. You may also want to think about flavors before you consider colors.”

Isabella seemed to be half-listening as she started doodling in her pad. You rolled your eyes with a grin and rolled out the white fondant to start covering your second cake layer.

Steve stared into the distance instead of at the yellow flyer James had handed him. Of course, James had waited until he was on the phone to give it to him. Tony Stark was busy explaining to Steve his vision for the party he was throwing, and the ideas for the cake he wanted were sophisticated and RED. He had rolled his eyes at the request but since he was on the phone with the man himself, he assured his client he was up for the job.

“I’m counting on you, you know,” Tony had said before ending the call. “People are so gaga over you; you need to deliver perfection.” The line had gone dead and he stared at his cell phone wondering what he had gotten himself into now.

“Dad, I don’t think you should do the bake sale this year. Rebecca has been bragging about her mom’s skills all year.”  Steve tuned out his son as he considered design options in his head for Tony’s upcoming gala. “Dad. Dad,” James waved a hand in front of his face. “Dad!”

“Sorry! What? Yeah I can do the bake sale again this year; what did I do last year?”

“No, Dad, I don’t think you should do it. You’ve got this big project.”

“Nonsense! Let’s do some good old-fashioned cupcakes and knock ‘em dead!”

The grocery store was packed but you, Isabella, and Rebecca were an efficient team. Rebecca had just run off to grab some confectioner’s sugar while you and Isabella talked flavors. “Mom, I want to do chocolate cupcakes. But can we do different flavor icings?”

You reached out to check the prices on the peanut butter; you had a few ideas but wanted to see what Isabella had in mind. “That sounds like a good plan! It will help keep things simple. What flavors are you thinking?”

Isabella thought for a moment. “Definitely peanut butter! Strawberry. Um… vanilla?”

You chuckled. “I’m with you on the peanut butter! Depending on how chocolaty you want the actual cake, strawberry could be good as well. Vanilla is safe, but also a good choice. What would you think about a mocha-flavored icing? Or caramel?” Your most recent job had received rave reviews; the bridezilla had been over the moon with your chocolate-mocha creation and promised tons of referrals.

A cart careened into yours with a thud. You looked up to see your business rival trying to reach around you. “Can I help you?”

He turned to you as if in a daze. “Thanks but I’ve…Hi.” Steve belatedly registered your cart in his way before noticing it was you. “Y/n Barnes. I’ve been hearing a lot about you lately.”

You stared at the towering blond. Despite the business rivalry, you mentally acknowledged he was an attractive man. You compared him immediately to your late husband: Steve’s eyes were a clearer, brighter blue, but his face was fiercely stoic. Bucky’s smile had always brightened a room; your eyes prickled with tears with the memory, which you quickly brushed away with a finger. Steve would be hot if he would just smile, you thought.

“Mom!” Isabella broke your short reverie. “He just took the last of the peanut butter!” Isabella tried to grab a jar from James’s hands.

“We’ll be ok Isabella. We have plenty of other flavors to make,” you added with a slight tilt of your head. Steve still seemed a bit dazed, while James studied your cart in detail.

“Mocha? Gross! No one these days like coffee,” James smirked at Isabella. “I’m so going to kick your butt at the bake sale.”

Steve finally seemed to come around, taking stock of their own cart. “I think we have everything we need. Come on James, let’s go.” James gave Isabella one more smirk as the two left.

“James is so annoying,” Isabella sighed. “Mom, are you ok? You kind of spaced out there.”

“Yeah, sorry honey. I guess I was a little distracted.” You sighed at the empty display of peanut butter. “James seems a bit competitive.”

Isabella giggled at your honest comment. “He’s SO competitive Mom! You should see him at school; he and his friends are always racing around beating each other to class. And when they’re playing basketball they have to act like… like…”

“LeBron?” you teased.

“Yeah! They are such dorks,” Isabella rolled her eyes.

You chuckled at your daughter. Seems she paid more attention to James and his friends than she cared to admit. You wondered if maybe the two were secretly crushing on each other. You pushed the thought aside as you considered her reaction to the peanut butter instead.

“Izzy, is peanut butter that important to you?”

“I don’t know? I just thought it would be cool to have it, with actual peanut butter M&Ms, or maybe Reese’s Pieces, sprinkled on top,” she said. Your stomach growled at that moment.

Rebecca came back with five bags of sugar and laughed. “Hungry Mom?”

You laughed along with your girls. “Always.”

To be continued!

I would love any feedback/reblogs/love in general

Tag list - see my Masterlist to tag yourself!

@patzammit @until-theend-oftheline @becs-bunker @thenormreedus @courtmr @ticklikeabomb @xxloki81xx @woodworthti666 @greenarrowhead @lovely-dreamer19 @moonbeambucky @yafriendlyfangirl @lilyrosebae @after-avenging-hours @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @marvelc00kie35 @thejemersoninferno @lionheo04 @dewy-biitch @bitsandbobsandstuff @readitandweepfics @lokilvrr @lostinthoughtsandfeelings-blog @theimpossibleg1rl @princess-evans-addict @stuckyfox @4theluvofall @loricameback @moondancewrites @halcyonrogers @writing-for-a-chance @ruckystarnes @angryschnauzerwrites @221bshrlocked  @suz-123 @senoritastucky @devilbat @jpat82 @caramell0w @spookyscaryskeletonsus @theoneanna @lilybellsworld @inlovewith3 @mrs-captain-evans @crazybutconfidentaf @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @sillyboyscomicsareforgirls @shield-agent78 @mackevanstanfan80 @lokiandbuckyaremine

[writingwithadinosaur]

“Thunderstruck” - Oneshot

“Thunderstruck” - Oneshot

My Masterlist - Here

My Tag List - Here

Tony Stark x Reader (Platonic)

Word Count: 1,419

Key: Y/N = Your Name, H/C = Your Hair Color, E/C = Your Eye Color

Warnings: Cursing, I think that’s all. Let me know if I missed anything!

Summary: You were recently taken in by the Avengers thanks to your ability to control electricity. But you weren’t able to spark friendly conversations with many people right off the bat.

Author’s Note: This was a random idea I had when I was out of town a few weeks ago, and I’m just now getting around to writing it! It was originally inspired by “Sweet Child of Mine” and then “Thunderstruck” came on when I was writing and it made me happy. Hope you enjoy it! <3

As always, huge shoutout to @witchymarvelspacecase for making my crazy ramblings more comprehensible and being a real person with me. <3 

If you would like to be tagged in any of my future pieces, check out my tag list above and let me know! And as always, feedback is greatly appreciated!

<3

- DreaSaurusREX

A block-wide blackout in the middle of autumn. You at the center of it

You were finally making progress You were brilliant, eased through school. You had plans for more doctorates and making advancements in technology or science or something. And you were on your way. You were currently working on an idea that, if it worked, could replace the need for multiple vaccines, and condense them all one simple, yearly vaccine.

But one small detail overlooked, and your lab partner being the clumsiest person to ever exist had ended with you being exposed to the chemical compound that you were testing.

Thankfully, there was an emergency disinfection chamber nearby that you were able to get to.

“Let just call it a night. We’ll start over tomorrow.”

“I really am sorry, (Y/N).”

“I know. Just… Come back tomorrow, prepared for a long day of focus, alright?”

She just nodded as you grabbed your bag and walked out of the lab, soaking wet, into the rain. You knew you should have brought a change of clothes like you usually did. But you were running late and ignored your routine. At this point, you just wanted to get home.

You were only a few streets away from your place. You vividly remember passing Mr. Polwiski’s Deli, then darkness.

The next thing you knew, you were on a stretcher in the back of an ambulance, pain scorching through your entire body. You could faintly hear the paramedic asking you if you knew what happened, or who you were, but you were too busy trying to focus your semi-blurry vision on your body. Your clothes were burned and torn in various places, you saw burn marks through the holes in your clothes, and you felt like you had been stung by a million bees.

Your already labored breathing became panicked when the gravity of the situation hit you, causing your brain to go into a frenzy. The internal pain kept growing, a strangled scream burst from your strained lungs.

“Ma’am! I need you to breathe! I know it's difficult, but you need to try to calm down!” The young paramedic tried to help, but it just made you more unsettled. It felt like fire was coursing through your muscles, unintentionally tensing them up. Your sobbing turned into screaming as blue sparks flew out of your hands, bouncing off the surfaces of various pieces of medical equipment, but avoiding the medical personnel on board.

The next thing you new, you felt the prick of a needle and the sweet embrace of sleep.

After that, your life was forever changed. The chemical compound that you were working on had absorbed through your skin and mutated your cells. It enhanced your body’s natural healing process by 65% as well as “blessed” you with the ability to manufacture and control electric currents. This quickly got the attention of a certain group of super people, and now you were attempting to not only adjust to your new living situation at the Avengers compound, but also your new life as a walking storm.

Being the new kid on the block was never easy. Now take that and add in Captain America, Iron Man, and all of the other Avengers, and you got a whole new kind of “not easy.” You couldn’t find it in yourself to talk to most of them. While they had shown you nothing but kindness and acceptance, you were still nervous about everything. The only one that had been able to get through to you was Bucky. He knew what it was like to be in your position, so he was the first one to really approach you as you were moving in.

The two of you would frequently be sitting together in your room, doing your own work, working on focus and control, or just watching movies. Bucky would sometimes make you move to other rooms so you got more acquainted with the facility and being around the others.

Today was one of those days.

You were working out an idea that you had stuck in your brain while Bucky was watching a movie that you had recommended him. He was just about to get to a good part of the movie when you heard the audio cut off.

“C’mon, (Y/N/N).”

“Where are we going?”

“I need food and you need a change of scenery.”

You learned that arguing with Bucky was useless. He would just throw you over his shoulder and make you move. So you just grabbed your stuff and followed him out of the room. You ended up in the kitchen, sitting at the table while Bucky fixed you both some lunch. He had just sat down to eat, when his phone went off.

“Ugh. Steve needs me to help him with a gameplan. I’ll catch you later, okay?”

“Alright. I think I’m gonna stay here. I have my stuff set up already.”

“Sounds good. You better actually eat.”

“I will. Go find your boyfriend.” You teased. Bucky threw you a look over his shoulder before disappearing.

You quickly realized how quiet it was since everyone was busy doing their work, or on a mission. Reaching for your phone, you hit the music app, and selected the playlist of songs that had been stuck in your head recently.

The sound of the guitar quickly took your mind off of everything expect the project you had been working on: a set of wrist braces that would help control the electrical impulses that your “gift” sent through your body. You had a decent handle on it, but these would act as a security blanket.

You got back to sketching out the details, and brainstorming what materials you could use. “Sweet Child of Mine” helping you ease your mind.

“Oh, oh, oh

Sweet child o' mine

Oh, oh, oh, oh

Sweet love of mine

She's got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I'd hide

And pray for the thunder

And the rain

To quietly pass me by”

Two things slipped your notice during the verse of the song: You had quietly started to sing along, and Tony had walked in to get his umpteenth cup of coffee. The only reason you realized he was there at all was when he interrupted your train of thought, causing your pencil to scrape across the bottom of your workbook.

“How do you even know that song?” It took a second for you to respond, you weren’t really ready for interaction with anyone else tonight.

“Um… I grew up on this type of music. My sister was into it and forced me to listen.”

“Your sister sounds like someone I could get along with very--”

“She’s dead.”

“Oh… I’m sorry. I didn’t--”

“It’s fine.” You swallowed the lump in your throat and tried to refocus on your schematics. You heard Tony walk towards the table and lean over your shoulder. He picked up one of the various sheets of paper you had spread out.

“What’s this all about?” He seemed genuinely curious, which shocked you.

“Well… It’s an idea I had this morning. Thanks to me being a glorified lightning rod, I was trying to think of a way to protect myself, and others, from any outbursts.”

Tony scanned over the different styles and asked you to explain each one, wanting to hear your reasoning for keeping one element or changing something. You were nervous at first, but when he sat down next to you, and showed how invested he was in your thought process, you found it easier talking to him. After you explained the blueprint you were currently working on, Tony went silent, which made you uneasy.

“So.. Uh… Wha-what do you think, Mr.Stark?”

“First off, it’s Tony.” He flipped through the various papers until he found the one he was looking for. “Second, I think if you combine these two, you got a chance.”

“I’m- I don’t understand?”

“Keep drawing out ideas. I’m sure that brain of yours will come up with a few ways.” He patted your back before grabbing his coffee, leaving you feeling a bit overwhelmed. Before he could get far, Tony popped his head back in the kitchen.

“Come to the lab tomorrow at some point. Let’s see if we can get that doodle to dance.”

Tags - @melconnor2007 @ashenfallsof @geeksareunique @all-by-myself98 @goodnightwife @witchymarvelspacecase @theeactress @sebby-staan @feelmyroarrrr @tomorraw @marvelous-imagining @white-chocolate-mocha-fan @badassbaker @httpmcrvel @reading-in-moonlight @to-the-road 

[cbapk]

Okay, so, I’ve been doing writing commissions via one of my other blogs for like a year and my first dip into it worked out pretty well, but I figured I could probably make a little more money doing them over here too. This is basically the exact same post as the one on my other blog, just rewritten to better reflect this blog.

☆Writing Examples☆

Example #1: From “Trial and Error”, my baby and the longest work I have ever written (and it’s still going, wow). If you’ve been here for a while, you already know that T&E is rife with sensitive content and the warnings should be heeded.

Example #2: From “Dead Man Walking”, another baby of mine that is... Pending an update. It’s totally sfw as far as sexual content or gore go at the moment, though. Worst thing you’ll encounter is some stuff I tagged wrong (D.I.D. that isn’t necessarily actually D.I.D.) and need to re-tag in a more accurate way, honestly.

☆Will☆

Pretty much anything.

This does include OCs/Self-Inserts, Self-Shipping, etc.

In fact I encourage OCs/Self-Inserts, and Self-Shipping!

NSFW is also allowed. On principle I won’t ask you to prove your age because I feel it’s an invasion of privacy but please do not commission me for sexual content if you are under 18.

Oneshots!

☆Will Not☆

Black Mirror (tv series)

Big Mouth (tv series)

P*dophilia

Inc*st

Anything blatantly transphobic, homophobic, racist, or otherwise exclusionary.

Fart kink.

Chapter fics

☆Why?☆

In order:

Show grossed me out or triggered me

I’m not touching p*do or inc*st with lava-proof gloves, babe.

I’m not an exclusionary asshole.

However, if you can provide to me a legitimate reason why I should write this (ie, it’s a reflection of something that happened to you, it’s a narrative you think needs to be seen to spread awareness, the excluded character overcomes the exclusion in the end, etc...) I will potentially make an exception.

It’s really just not my thing and I’ve written it before but I’m not keen on doing it again.

I just don’t have the time or the focus right now to work on anything multi-chapter outside of personal projects and older commissions from the last batch that I’m still finishing up.

☆Fandoms☆

Put incredibly simply, if I can get a healthy understanding of it through research it in under two hours, I’ll write it.

If I already have a healthy understanding, I’ll write it.

If I do not already have a healthy understanding and cannot gain that understanding through research in under two hours, we might just have to get back to each other when I’m up for more than two hour research sessions. At this time I can’t really spend more than two hours researching anything.

I also write ORIGINAL COMMISSIONS, not just FANDOM COMMISSIONS, so if you’ve got an original idea you’d like me to try writing, hit me up.

☆Prices☆

Oneshot (1K words or less) = $5USD. Price increases by $5 per 1000 words. (2K - $10, 3K - $15, etc). Discounts begin at 10K words.

I don’t apply a charge for time spent working or any sort of sales tax, so the prices you see are the prices you’ll pay no matter what.

Discounts no longer offered at 5K words because I need all the money I can get.

☆Payment☆

I’m willing to work with clients on payment if need be.

I will ask for half the base price upfront and the rest after completion, primarily to ensure I actually get paid for my work and that you are getting what you want out of the deal, since I am open at all stages of writing to changes you may want to make, within reason.

To clarify: $2.50 upfront, then the rest of the full price on completion.

If you want to pay the full price upfront, I’m cool with that too!

☆Refunds & Additional Words☆

If you decide you no longer want your commission before I finish it, tell me and I’ll do my best to refund what you’ve paid me. If you decide you don’t want it after I’ve finished it, I will retain the upfront payment to cover time spent working.

If you decide you don’t want your commission solely for money purposes, let me know, because I would be happy to simply shelf it for the time being and come back to it whenever the time comes that money is no longer an issue. In this case as well I will retain the upfront payment.

Additionally, should you decide after I’ve finished off a commission that you’d like it to be longer, that can definitely be arranged! I do charge for the additional words but it’s at the same rates as normal. So, basically if you get 3K and decide you want it to be about 4K instead, you can do that, and I’ll throw the additional $5 for the extra 1K on top of your total - no extra surcharges.

I accept payments via my PayPal, but other methods of payment can be discussed if needed.

☆Special Offers☆

For no extra cost, I will doodle a title page for your commission!

For $5USD each, I will add simple sketch illustrations to your commission.

For $10USD each, I will add mono-color lineart illustrations to your commission.

For $15USD each, I will add full color illustrations to your commission.

You do not have to accept special offers, they’re just there for people who might want them.

☆Estimated Completion Time☆

Between a couple of hours to a couple of days per project*, depending on what else is going on in my life and how much of my focus I can afford to devote at a time.

*I can be bribed to prioritize one commission at a time, thereby decreasing completion time in most cases. This costs $5.

☆Contact Info☆

If you’re interested in a commission, I can be reached here:

via my DMs

via email at thepuppetwolf@gmail.com OR fusedaesthetic@gmail.com

I check my emails 4 times a day and my DMs at least twice a day, so if I don’t get back to you immediately don’t get discouraged. I’ll likely get back to you within a day unless I’m having internet issues.

☆Openings☆

Oneshot Commissions: 7/8* Available

Priority Commissions: 1/1** Available

*Each slot accounts for 1 work, with a 20K word limit on each.

**Again, this is something you pay me for to get your commission done faster.

☆What You’re Helping Me Do By Commissioning Me☆

Under the cut since it’s not super pertinent but I figured I’d be kinda transparent about what I’d be using the money for.

(This list is subject to change but usually composed of the same stuff. Last updated 11/14/19.)

Get Married

Pay Bills

Buy Food and other household supplies

[emmastudies]

I'm about to start my new bullet journal!! Yee!!! Any tips before I start? ❤️

Hey! Here are a few links:

my opinion on bullet journal (thought I’d throw this in there but potentially doesn’t matter!)

planner brand recommendations

planner vs bullet journal: pros and cons

how to set up a bullet journal

bullet journal spread ideas

bullet journal decoration hacks

bullet journal brand recommendations

my blog’s bullet journal tag

my bullet journal: 1, 2, 3, 4

Here are some random tips too:

it doesn’t have to be perfect - I spent a long time trying to make my really nice and it isn’t necessary. Like, of course, I didn’t want it to look terrible but I was spending a lot of time trying to perfect it. I got to a point where the look of it mattered more than the organisational help it was supposed to be.

it doesn’t have to look like other peoples - there is no denying that some study bloggers have the most incredible bullet journals like they should be framed! That being said, they don’t have to look like that. I am not artistic in the way that a lot of people are (e.g. doodles, calligraphy, etc) so I always felt like mine weren’t as cool but in reality that doesn’t really matter. You gotta do what you like! I would have liked to learn to do that but there is no need for me too.

following those, it is an organisation method, not a beauty contest - I think the crux of bullet journal, stripped down to the basics, is a fantastic idea. It has definitely moulded itself into a more artistic and creative expression now but if you wanted to use it in its pure form then that is totally cool! The founder of the idea has a super simple bullet journal and it looks great! It is all about getting it to suit your own needs.

counter to that, if you like the artistic side, don’t let anyone tell you not too - I’ve seen a lot of debating saying “bullet journaling is a waste of time”, “why would anyone bother doing all that”, “if they spent that time working, they wouldn’t need to plan” and other silly things like that. But this is the beauty of bullet journaling. If you want it to be fun, creative and draw on inspiration you see you can! If you’d prefer it to be very minimalist and simple, you can do that too. It is totally up to you how you design and use it. You shouldn’t be made to feel bad for either way you choose.

it can be a commitment - what made me divert back to a planner was the fact that I couldn’t be bothered spending ages doing spreads for the entire month so I would go week to week. This was so impractical as a student and hence, I gave up eventually. I liked the end result but I’m not a super creative person so didn’t love the process of creating my spread which made it become a drag but if it can be a fun commitment for you, that isn’t a worry! I would definitely suggest doing 2 weeks at a time minimum, and a month if you can. It just makes keeping up with it much easier!

it isn’t for everyone - I have had some people in the past message about how they can’t get bullet journalling to work for them and how to solve it. Sometimes it isn’t a case of solving it but just understanding that maybe such organisation methods are best for you. We all work differently! But give it a shot and see how you like it :-)

supplies don’t matter - I started bullet journalling in the unused pages of my sister’s maths books and to be honest, it was a great start! I only invested in a specific notebook when I really wanted to commit. Also for me, I used a black pen and the Zebra mildliners (but any pens would work). I definitely feel we can get wrapped up in the idea that we need specific things to do it but that isn’t true!

I hope this helps! :-) xx

[heartcravings]

50 Questions Tag!

@jongin-be-my-jagi​ tagged me for this a while ago, but I took my sweet time to answer. Here is my secret intel if you want to know me a little bit more!! Check hers as well, she’s an amazing writer and friend. 1. What takes up too much of your time? Tumblr, my stupid procrastination prone brain and my thesis. 

2. What makes your day better? Friends and loved ones, music and these absolute dorks (Channie especially) 

3. What’s the best thing that happened to you today? I hopped on the mat today in the early hours of the morning, rain on my window and the neighbours cat peeking at me from his window across the street.

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? Wonderland, bacause it’s “curiouser and curiouser!”

'Who are you?' said the Caterpillar.  Alice replied, rather shyly, 'I — I hardly know, sir, just at present — at least I know who I was when I got up this morning, but I think I must have been changed several times since then.'

5. Are you good at giving advice? I think so. Not so good at following my own advice though.  I do always consider where the other is standing and if I don’t know how to proceed then I’ll just be honest and say I can’t help. But i’ll always listen with my heart. 

 6. Do you have any mental illnesses? Not diagnosed. I do think i might be going through something now. 

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? No, but i have a recurring nightmare: the world is made of black and white paper thin layers. I am a paper thin person walking along a street surrounded by paper thin buildings. I walk for a long time, looking up at the white sky. Until the street ends, there is no more building and i fall into the abyss of a blank page.  I have had this dream since the age of 8 or 9 years old. Fear of not being good enough, you say?! Ding, ding, ding!! We got a winner in the back!  8. What musician inspired you the most? I get inspired by music all the time!! One of my all time favourite songs is Spanish Sahara by Foals. Its sublime!

So I’d say I’m mainly inspired by these artists: Queen, Arctic Monkeys, Foals, Radiohead, Bowie, Daughter, Bob Dylan, Beirut, Yeah yeah yeahs, Arcade Fire, The National, Joy Division, Blur, Warpaint, Gorillaz, Sufjan Stevens, Bon Iver, Chet Baker, The Cure, Courtney Barnett, The Maccabees, Car Seat Headrest, Florence + The Machine, Editors, Kasabian, Crystal Fighters, Death Cab for a cutie, The Doors, Efterklang, Explosions in the Sky, Franz Ferdinand, The Horrors, James Blake, José Gonzalez, Los Campesinos!,  Metronomy, Nick Cave, Nina Simone, Patrick Watson,  Phoenix, Sharon Van Etten, The Shins, Simon & Garfunkel, The Smiths, St.Vincent, The Strokes, Toro y Moi, tricot, Tune-Yards, TV on the radio, Unknown Mortal Orchestra, The Vaccines, Vampire Weekend, The Velvet Underground, The War on Drugs, Wild Beasts and Yo La Tengo.

And the electro, pop and hip-hop groves of my heart: EXO, 2NE1, Janelle Monáe, Big Bang, Kris Wu,LCD soundsystem, SBTRKT, Childish Gambino, Frank Ocean, Kendrick Lamar and Daft Punk. 

And special mentions to the portuguese ones (learning from yixing and promoting when i can :P): Capicua, Joana Espadinha, The Legendary Tigerman, Linda Martini, Mayra Andrade, Noiserv, Ornatos Violeta, Paus, Samuel Uria, You Can’t Win Charlie Brown and The Silence 4. I know, tldr right? Sorry folks! 9. Have you ever fallen in love? Yes I have. I have mistaken a crush for love too. But i have definitely been very deeply in love. A wrecked kintsugi heart over here people! 10. What’s your dream date? I don’t think I have one. I’d love to do something unique with that someone special, something special for the two of us. It could be as simple as riding the subway while sharing earphones & listening to our playlist or walking the dogs out! Idk, I’m easy to please. But right now it would have to be with this handsome man :D pretty please?!

11. What do others notice about you? I am very kind and warm hearted, so I think that’s what people first notice when meeting me. Although I maintain good eye contact, I am also timid and will be quieter if there are very energetic people in the group. When alone, I usually take the first step and try to meet people, but only if i really must.  12. What’s an annoying habit you have? It’s really hard for me to ask for help. I also like to tell detailed descriptions of everything... Couldn’t you tell? 13. Do you still talk to your first love? I’ll text him on his birthday and he does the same to me. We met when we were 10 years old and that childhood friendship remains. But regarding my one and truly deep relationship, no we do not talk, unless we randomly meet.

14. How many exes do you have? I have three exes. The first love who was just an idealized crush on my childhood friend: we dated for 2 weeks during summer break xD Then my first real boyfriend, we met in my first year at university, dated for quite some time, he really loved me and made me love myself a little more. Finally the one i loved too much. I mended his wounds and made him love himself as much as I did. I always say all the love we feel makes our hearts grow bigger. I do not regret loving any of them, I am me now due to them and I would not change it if I could. 15. How many songs are in your playlist? I have way too many playlists for each and every mood... But my favourite songs list on spotify has about 1500 songs! uwu!  16. What instruments can you play? Triangles and flute?! I had mandatory music classes in school... so in reality I can’t really play a instrument...

17. Who do you have the most pictures of? Probably my cat, Sushi. With a second close of my doodles and sketches. 

18. Where would you like to go before you die? EVERY WHERE!!! But I really want to go to Japan and Scotland and Iceland and South Korea and New Zealand and i’ll shut up. 19. What’s your zodiac? Capricorn. 20. Do you relate to it? Sort of.

21. What is happiness to you? You know when it’s really cold outside in the winter and you manage to find a sheltered place where no wind can hit you and you still get to feel the warm rays of the winter suns on your skin? You hear the birds outside and you are contempt in that moment, at peace. That is happiness to me.   22. Are you going through anything right now? Yes, I am a bit lost. Trying to finish my thesis and trying to find what I want to do after. It’s liberating but also pretty scary. 23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? It’s a series of small decisions really. It started with going for a phd with the same people i worked in my msc. Should have gone to a different place. Then deciding to come home after a traumatic loss in the family. Should have kept my life going but I stalled it then. (I don’t regret helping my loved ones though).

24. What’s your favourite store? Probably Wishtrend for beauty stuff. Other than that I don’t have any favourite brands/stores. 25. (HALFWAY!) What’s your opinion on abortion? I think everyone is free to decide what they want or need to do. I couldn’t possible judge. If I would it? Probably not.

27. Do you have a favourite album? I don’t think so, I have favourite tunes for different moods and moments in my life. But if threatened with my life, I’d maybe say Total Life Forever from Foals.

28. What do you want for your birthday? It’s such a long time until my birthday comes! But maybe a real EXO ot9 reunion as a goodbye to Minseok?

29. What is most people’s first impression of you? Friendly and easy to open up to, i think.

30. What age do you seem according to most people? In real life, people usually think I am way younger than I am.  31. Where do you keep your phone when you’re sleeping? In the crook of my bed, between the mattress and the bed frame.

32. What word do you say the most? No idea really! 33. What’s the oldest age you’d date? 40s? I don’t think too much about age actually. 

34. What’s the youngest age you’d date? 20s? Again not very important to me. Love is love, whomever, whenever and wherever <3

35. What job / career do most people say would suit you? I don’t know! People always say i don’t totally fit in anything... so there’s that. If you have an idea please let me know! 36. What’s your favourite music genre? Go back to question 8. I listen to everything! :D 37. If you could live in any country in the world where would it be? I’d like to live around the world, every few months a different place and get to know different cultures.

38. What is your current favourite song? I’ve been obsessed with RM’s intro/teaser song, Map of the Soul: Persona. (I’m not even a bts fan, but this music and lyrics just touched me a lot.)

39. How long have you had this blog for? I think for about 6 years? It’s my personal space, where I dump all my obsessions.  

40. What are you excited for? I’m visiting some friends in Granada in a couple of weeks. Yay, tapas!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? Normally I am a better listener. But there are a few people to whom i open like a book. Either words flow right out of me without even thinking or they see throw me. Those truly are my people.

42. What is the last productive thing you did? Prepped meals and cleaned the kitchen. Open the folder and file of my thesis. Read the latest chapter I wrote.  43. What do you want for Christmas? Well, just like for my birthday, there is still such a long time to it! But let’s say i want to have already finish this part of my life and want to find my next adventure.

44. What class do you get the best grades in? No more exams! Ehehe! But I used to have good grades at everything. Physical Education was my lowest mark i think.

45. On a scale of 1-10 how do you feel right now? Right now, a 4? I have a headache.

46. What can you see yourself doing in 10 years? Smiling? :D I want to be happy in my own skin. To feel contempt in my life, doing something that gives me a sense of purpose and having time to share and enjoy with my friends and family. 47. When did you get your first heartbreak? Oh my kintsugi heart has been broken quiet a lot. By friends and lovers and even by myself. I keep patching it up with gold dreams though.  48. At what age do you wanna be married? I will only want to be married if i find the one. So until then I guess. 

49. What career did you want to have as a child? I wanted to be an astronaut and a ballerina. Preferably both!

50. What do you crave right now? Just sitting somewhere and listening to Yeol play the guitar.

Well i finished it! :D I’ll tag @thedeviousdo @ohsenhun @hongseok and @paepsi. I’d love to read yours! Feel free to dismiss it though, it is quite a lot.  Lots of love everyone!! <3 <3 <3

[unpickingthetangles]

I live for your tags on the "How to write good" post 🌸

Thank you so much! I reread those tags a bunch last night because I got an anon asking about them. They said I ‘Missed the Point’ and I was like, “Wait, what? What did I even tag that dang thing with?” 

I realized I did goof them a bit! 

Rereading it there was a line that said “you want to crush your own voice and write something that stands out?” and realized that the ‘and’ in that sentence should have been an ‘or’. WHOOPS-A-DOODLE. Way to undercut my whole point with a typo.  

Come sit around Grammy’s rocking chair and listen to a story of Internet Betrayal. 

Firstly, a confession: I have 34 chapters of Hadrian the Scholar finished, polished, and ready to read. 400 pages, something like 100,000 words. Years of solid work. Nearly halfway done with the story. 

But then I listened to some writing advice about editing. I took it to heart, believing in doing so I was becoming a more mature, balanced writer, who could take advice and learn from it. 

And so I went back and edited, I cut, I simplified. After I was finished I took a month or two off (because life happens sometimes). When I went back and reread my pride and joy--and I didn’t recognize it. 

Oh sure, it had it’s old bones. The story was basically the same. I hit all the beats I had intended to hit. The characters were still in their places, functioning in their roles. 

The language, the voice, the uniqueness of what I had written– it was laying dead in a shallow grave somewhere and I was the one standing with the muddy shovel. Me– like in a nightmare where I meant to throw a punch only to realize too late I was holding a knife. 

The 34 chapters of Hadrian had all my love sliced away Cut. Destroyed. Worst of all? I had saved over the old copies because I had been so proud that I had had the ‘maturity’ to be critical of my work.If you think I’m being hyperbolic about this, trust me, I’m not. I washed out all my careful cultivated language, the meaningful moments of reflection about love and lost, the airlessness of certain scenes– everything that was specific to me was bleached out completely. 

I set it down– all but forgot about it out of busied pride— for two more years.  (small disclaimer: I AM A SENSITIVE SEA SPONGE OF A PERSON.)  

Then I woke up one day with this feeling of… 

Every wrong done can be undone! I’m still here! I still believe it!! I still have people to prove wrong! Including (and most importantly of all) myself! I started out with new eyes and a solid tone of voice. I began anew unafraid of being “not good enough”. This new version of Hadrian was going to have my grubby fingerprints all over it. Everyone would know that it was mine. 

I took all the sulking I did over two years and beat it into a sense of purpose. 

And a new motto: Fuck Writing Advice*

*if it smothers your own unique voice. There lays the tightrope act you have to do: knowing when advice is helpful and when advice is personal opinion stated as fact. 

For example, good advice is: “let every scene have a single, strong idea that carries it. The scene should have an emotional polarization: negative or positive. A really good scene will flip between the two from the beginning to the end of the scene.” 

And even then, that advice helped me, but what if you’re writing the next Waiting for Godot? It’s such a hard line to walk! 

Bad writing advice is, “avoid alteration” Yeah, fuck that, alteration and assonance will be the bricks of this empire, baby. Or “never use adverbs!” Honey what? No thank you, Imma going smother and cover this biscuit with adverbs. And I think will all know how laughable “never write the word said again!” is when it is done in practice. 

And even then! What if you can only write your novel in total absence of adverbs, because that is your voice? Because writing advice, well meaning or not, can be extremely harmful. Don’t believe that yet? Please reread the tale of woe hovering over John’s head. 

What my tags on that post really came down to was this, the crux of the whole reason writing advice makes me furious (typo included): 

If you want to publish a book that has been sanitized cleanly of everything you alone could bring to it, by all means, listen to all the advice you want. Hard truth of it is that may be the quickest and easiest way to publish. 

You want to write something that stands out? Something to remember?Then work hard on cultivating that voice, revise over and over again to make that voice loud and honest, and get beta readers. Because as artistic as you may be, the work should still connect with people. 

And do something different that catches everyone’s attention. 

In conclusion, please learn from me and write what you want. Make it fun, silly, serious, involved, simple, complex, deep, or just easy to enjoy. So long as you never let other people’s opinion–flying under that flag of ‘true fact’– kill your own powerful voice. 

Thank you for coming to my TED talk. T-Shirts for sale in the lobby. 

[ishipallthings]

Steve/Tony Fic Recs: Birthday

It’s still my birthday week, and @shetlandowl​ suggested a rec list of fics where Steve/Tony celebrate their birthdays, and I thought that sounded really fun :D

Remember to leave kudos and comments for your hard-working authors!

Of Frosting and Fireworks by Wordsplat (@wordsplat​) : It's Steve birthday, but the last person he expects to remember that is Tony.

Getting Your Betty Crocker On by thehoyden: He knows it’s not wartime anymore, but he can’t quite suppress the twinge of guilt he feels at measuring out two entire cups of white sugar.

Light Show by copperbadge (@copperbadge​): DJ is really excited about Tony's birthday, and at first nobody's really sure why.

Subtle Clues and Context Cues by galwednesday: 

Sam slowed to a walk, holding one hand up in a time-out gesture until he caught his breath enough to form full sentences. “You’re going to cosplay as Mr. Darcy? The Colin Firth, look-how-wet-and-clinging-my-shirt-is Mr. Darcy?”

Steve looked down and shuffled his feet. It was amazing to watch over six feet of pure muscle somehow telegraph bashful. “Yeah. Tony’s birthday is coming up, and, well. It’s sort of an inside joke.”

(Five times everyone but Tony knew he was dating Steve, and one time Tony figured it out.)

Freedom’s Light Burnin’ Warm by laudatenium (@laudatenium):

Bruce nodded. “I guess it’d be nice. It’s not like I have plans. And I won’t mind celebrating Steve’s birthday. Those firefighters know how to party.”

Tony froze. “W-what did you say?”

“Oh, Tony.” Bruce gave him a pitying look. “I guess I should leave while you try and find Steve a birthday present?”

He groaned and buried his face in one of Pepper’s stupid throw pillows. “I am the worst boyfriend in the world.”

Bruce just laughed at him.

Beloved by TheCityLightShow (@thecitylightshow):

Steve wakes up on the morning of his 18th birthday and takes a moment to just breathe.

He never thought he’d make it to 18, and he’s still not convinced that he’s going to have a soulmate. He’s been doodling on his skin all his life, but from today on, those doodles might appear on someone’s skin. He might have someone’s doodles on his.

Tony has to take a deep breath before he writes on his skin each morning.

It’s been so many days since he turned eighteen and he’s never had a response. Howard says they don’t want him and Maria thinks his soulmate is already dead. Rhodey promises him that he’s just the older one of the two of them, but he’s 20 now.

Let the More Loving One be Me (Or: Aw, Crap) by willowswhiten:

Captain Steven Rogers-Carter has just come back from Afghanistan, struggling with PTSD and memories that haunt him. When he’s introduced to his adoptive mother’s godson, engineer, mechanic and billionaire Tony Stark, there’s a lot of yelling. Things are never entirely simple when two broken warriors realise exactly what they need to put themselves back together.

The Second Coming by blacktofade: AU: Tony is an escort hired by Bucky for Steve's birthday.

The Right Note by XtaticPearl: Tony was never the nostalgic type, no matter what everybody said, but he did have two photographs on his bedside table. It's a special birthday and Tony gets some special gifts from his team.

The One at the Beach by Raikishi (@rai-kishi​): “Well, aren’t you a sight for sore eyes,” Tony purrs, going from zero to a hundred in a heartbeat as he leans in, hands quick and steady over Steve’s biceps and hips. 

He wrinkles his nose a little when he catches sight of what’s on Steve’s tank.“You are way beyond college frat bro age,” Tony says, tugging at the fabric, thumbing over the words: Sun’s out. Guns out, “I’d say you’re about ninety years pass that.”

“Ninety-one today,” Steve hums in reminder and Tony goes rigid in his arms.

Dog Tags by AkikoFumi: Steve's birthday is coming up, so naturally Tony is trying to find the perfect gift for him. And no, that doesn't mean giant stuffed animals.

Unexpected Surprises by Caahs: When The Avengers decided to plan a surprise birthday party for Tony, they didn't expect the man to get a gift that wasn't exactly on his list.

Welcome Company by kiyala: Tony's working in his garage when Steve drops by for a visit.

Unforgettable by Naxa1818 (@naxa1818​): Steve thinks he's got the perfect gift for Tony's birthday. He just hopes he also has the courage to tell Tony how he really feels. (Avac)

Somewhere to Begin by missbecky (@missbeckywrites):

Steve's birthday is coming up, and Tony worries that he'll never find the perfect gift for him. Until he remembers something Steve recently said -- and then he knows exactly what to get him. (616)

Independence Day by Settiai: It's Steve's 90th birthday, and Tony wants to throw him a party. What could possibly go wrong? (616)

Best Laid Plans by laireshi (@laireshi): “This is not how I imagined spending my birthday this year,” Steve said.“Well . . . at least I am still naked?” Tony offered. (616)

Birthday Cake by nightwalker (@onemuseleft): Steve is decorating a cake. Tony is all about that. (616)

Got You Under My Skin by BlossomsintheMist (@blossomsinthemist​):

“I’d be happy to show you a good time,” Tony said, smiling a little obscurely, Steve thought, as if to himself, but still with that warm, knowing look, affectionate and oddly fond, “any time you want.”

Steve Rogers goes to Tony Stark's birthday party. Things progress from there, with a lot of flirtiness leading to propositions, and propositions leading to, well, what comes next, and Steve isn't even sure what he wants after that. (Ults)

Happy Birthday, Mr. President by navaan (@navaan​): Steve does not expect to see Tony before the festivities begin in Washington. Of course, Tony wants the president to open his present as early as possible. (Ults)

Happy Birthday, Mr. Stark by cptxrogers (@cptxrogers​): Steve prepares a very special present for Tony's birthday. (AA)

Sparkler by magicasen (@einheriar​): Tony's already lost the "best birthday present" competition, but it doesn't mean Steve can't enjoy his gift. (AA)

Vacation by ashes0909, FestiveFerret (@ashes0909​, @festiveferret​):

"We’re going to celebrate your birthday with sun and sand and exploring this incredible body of yours in any way I want.”

Captain America's Birthday Gift by Saiya_tina: It’s Captain America’s birthday and some of his teammates don’t know what to give him as a gift. They decided to leave the perfect gift on his bed and Steve is going to have some fun with it. 

In Sickness and In Health by Crematosis: When Tony is sick on his birthday, the whole team comes together to fuss over him. He's not exactly thrilled about it.

With Friends Like These by Crematosis: The team forgets Tony's birthday. Luckily, Steve is there to set everything right.

Closure by laireshi (@laireshi): “You were supposed to say thank you,” Tony said after a moment, covering his eyes with his forearm. It wasn't as if Steve could see him. “It's only polite, you know. Happy birthday, Steve—Thank you, Tony.” (CA:CW)

May the Bridges I Have Burned Light My Way Back Home (On This Fourth of July) by btBatt: Tony calls to wish Steve a happy 99th birthday, of all things. (CA:CW)

If anyone wants a rec list, hit me up in my inbox! Previous rec lists are here.  

[biayahlife]

Monetizing One’s Hobbies

I’ve been debating making a coloring book for a while now. It seems simple enough: make line art and publish. I don’t have to write text, I don’t have to think up a complicated plot, I don’t have to even render anything. Simply make line art and publish. There are plenty of online resources that offer to assist with self publishing a book, many of them free to make, only taking a small percentage of the sales themselves. I wouldn’t have to find a publisher or convince someone that my art is good enough for a coloring book. Sure, I would have to self promote, come up with a catchy title and/or tag line, and design both a front and back cover, but that can’t be too difficult, right? 

If you’ve followed the Instagram account and read some of the blog, you know that I dabble in art. I’ve thought about monetizing this and other hobbies in the past, but I have complicated feelings about doing so. 

I used to bake quite a bit, and found it very enjoyable. I’d make cookies, cakes, scones, cupcakes, brownies, lemon bars…so many different sweet treats. I got a lot of satisfaction from making desserts for people and seeing someone’s face light up as they bit into sugary scrumptiousness. It was suggested many times that I open a bakery or a catering business where I could peddle my desserts for money, but I knew in my heart of hearts that if I did I would hate baking. It would suck all the fun out of it. This was proven to a degree when I agreed to make all the birthday desserts for my work. Each month I would ask the birthday person what dessert they’d like. I felt strongly that as adults, many of us don’t get to ask for fun things like specific birthday treats. We get a store bought cake, which is nice enough, and everyone says pleasant things, and it’s forgotten immediately afterward. I wanted to make each person feel special, seen, and valued by offering them exactly what they wished for in a dessert. The first year was fun, it was like taking tiny, free commissions. Eventually I started getting actual commissions and was paid for several cakes and cheesecakes. At that point, I lost interest. It became a chore. I couldn’t get out of it. I couldn’t have a baking slump, it wasn’t allowed. I couldn’t take a break because my creativity was waning, it wasn’t allowed. I had to measure up to expectations, and I despise expectations when it comes to my personal time. And hence - my feelings about monetizing something I used to enjoy.

I don’t bake very much anymore.

I’ve dabbled in this with my art. I’ve played around with commissions in a very small way; one of my dear friends needed a logo for her business and I agreed to do my very first commission. I was nervous since I wanted to make sure she was satisfied, and I didn’t want to say no as she’s a very important person to us. She was patient and lovely and ended up liking what I came up with, a success on all counts. Afterward, I opened up commissions on Kofi and, to my delayed delight, received no commissions whatsoever. In retrospect, I’m so glad no one asked me to make anything custom. I’d lose my mind. I just got out of an art slump that lasted months. Can you imagine being pressured into making things when feeling uninspired? Why should I do that to myself? 

This takes us back to the coloring book idea. I feel like I’m treading a dangerous path. No one is asking me for this, so it’s not a commission. No one is expecting anything, so there’s no external pressure. There is the threat of internal pressure, judging myself for how easy the pictures are to color and making calls about the so called “quality” of my work. This is an easy trap to fall into. I’m already quite hard on myself to make work of a certain “standard.” I’ve found over the last couple days, since breaking my art block, that if I change up the style then I do not feel nearly as much pressure to make things bigger and better, but the coloring book is going to be in a pretty consistent style, as you can see with the images I’ve placed in this blog. Can I make enough drawings to create a whole-ass coloring book???

Lastly, monetizing one’s hobby requires self promotion. Even if I come up with “enough” (whatever the means) pages that are satisfactory to myself, I’ll need to tweet about the book, I’ll need to blast it on IG, I’ll need to promote on Facebook. I could consider a TikTok. That seems like a lot of work that I don’t really want to put in. I enjoy the blog because it’s an easy place to put my thoughts. We don’t have a lot of readers right now and that’s ok. We’ve created an intimate, small, comfortable corner of the internet where we can throw our voices to the wind and expect nothing in return. If I have to start promoting, that brings expectation. That brings pressure. That brings the potential for disappointment. Do I want to bring that into my life? I really don’t know.

For now, I’m going to keep doodling. Maybe I’ll make enough for a coloring book, but maybe I’ll abandon the idea completely and just enjoy making art for art’s sake.

Have you thought about monetizing a hobby? Tell us about it in the comments!

[hannahindie]

Winchestered

Characters: Dean Winchester, Neal (OC), Alice (OC), Reader, Sam Winchester (brief) Word Count: 3,896 Warnings: Language, insinuated sexy times, patented Dean Winchester snark, smoking A/N: My dear, precious, beautiful @pinknerdpanda requested a Christmas fic using the song “Fairytale of New York” by Dustin Kensrue. You can listen to it HERE. I know it’s after Christmas and that it took me forever, but I hope you all enjoy it. I hope that the title makes sense once you start reading...if not...well...I mean, I don’t know. hahah

Beta’d by @pinknerdpanda (because I can’t not show her things early, even when they’re for her) : “Lystjblhisjfh we yxmvpyskgxiskh itoskhc”

and @masksandtruths, because I had her workin’ overtime yesterday. -wink- Thanks, babe. “THANK YOU SWEET BABY JESUS! someone said it! For such an intelligent human, Dean has a lot of trouble with this simple fact.”

As usual, tags are at the bottom. If you’d like to be added, please let me know. :)

Motherfucker.

I groaned, my head aching as I turned on the hard surface I was laying on and squinted at the old man across from me who was singing obnoxiously loud.

Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh Hi di-diddly-idle-um, diddly-doodle-idle-um, diddly-doo-ri-diddlum-deh

He gave me a nearly toothless grin and I groaned again as I squeezed my eyes shut.

“What the hell are you singing, and why?”

“It's Christmas time, m’boy. Will pro’ly be m’last one, and it's m’ favorite tune. Thought I'd serenade ya good and proper.”

“That...that isn’t a Christmas song.” I rolled back over and tried to ignore him, my head pounding. I don't know what the fuck I did or where I was last night, but being in the drunk tank of some podunk town was not exactly where I wanted to be - especially on Christmas. Sammy was gonna kill me.

“Oh, but fer ya, ‘tis. Ya don’t recognize where ya are, do ya?”

“I’m in some town in BFE, when I should be...well, anywhere else. I'm guessing I tied one on a little harder than I planned. And now here I am, trying to ignore some old man trying and failing to sing an Irish ballad and wondering where my brother is so he can get me the fuck outta here. Does that sound about right?”

“Well, son, ya ain't wrong. But that ain't what I was talkin’ about.” He slid over closer to me and I rolled back over to look at him.

“What the hell are you talking about?”

“Why don't ya sit up and take a good look, see where ya are, and then mebbe I’ll tell ya.”

I groaned and sat up, if for no other reason than to shut him up, and I leaned my head in my hands. Jesus, what did I do? “Okay, I'm up. What am I looking at?”

“Just look.”

I sighed and looked up, the light searing into my hungover eye sockets like lasers. The room was oddly familiar, and I ground the heel of my hand into my eyes. “This...where am I?”

The old man chuckled and I glared at him. He cleared his throat as he stood and walked over to the wall of steel bars that had us trapped. “Ain't so much as where, lad, but when.” He motioned for me to join him and I stood up with a groan, then stumbled to the bars and looked out. Suddenly, it hit me where I was.

“How...this...but I wasn't even here, Sam and I are somewhere in Mississippi,” I mumbled more to myself than the crazy old man who was grinning at me like he'd won the lottery. Judging by my surroundings, I wasn't in Mississippi...I was in New York, although the drunk tank still made sense. But if that was the case… “This happened...hell...twenty years ago. Unless you're an angel, I know I didn't time travel. What the hell is this?”

“Did ya have a favorite Christmas movie, m’boy?”

I glared, “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well, did ya?” He cocked an eyebrow at me and I had the overwhelming urge to punch him in the face.

“Well, I know this isn’t Die Hard...aw, shit, you’ve got to be kidding me. Scrooged? Seriously? Nah, this is...I got hit really hard in the head, didn’t I? That’s what this is, because it can’t be because I’m some selfish bastard that never does anything for anybody.” I turned to look at the old man, “Because that’s bullshit. I might hate myself, but even I can recognize that I have given up everything for this godforsaken hell hole of a planet.”

“It ain’t always about bein’ selfish, laddie. Sometimes it’s just about showin’ ya what you already know.”

I rolled my eyes, “What the hell is that supposed to mean?” He nodded his head towards the bars and I looked out to see the last person I expected to be there. “Y/N?”

She stopped short of the bars and crossed her arms, “You know, it doesn’t look great for an FBI agent to be tossed into the drunk tank, much less on Christmas Eve. What were you thinking, Winchester?”

“Y/N, I-” I stopped short when I heard someone respond...when I heard myself respond, rather snarkily.

“Aww, c’mon, sweetheart. I was just celebrating, alone I might add, because someone didn’t want to come with me. We finished the job in record time, we did it well, and we don’t have anything lined up for the next few days.” I turned around to see myself stand up from the bed, then walk over and lean haphazardly against the bars. “Bust me outta here and let’s go have some fun, huh?”

I rolled my eyes, “I don’t act like that, that’s not remotely accurate.”

“‘Tis a memory, lad. Sorry to say it, but m’thinks tha’ twenty years ago, you pro’lly did act like that. Just keep watchin’.”

Y/N motioned to the guard, who came over and unlocked the cell door. Younger me strolled out, gave the guard a wink, then followed Y/N down the hall and out of the jail. I followed close behind, the old man trailing after me. “You’re lucky I was with you. You realize John would have just left you in there.”

“Yea, yea, I know. But you’re not my old man, and for once it’s just us. No Dad, no Sammy...just us.” He stopped Y/N as I looked on, my heart aching at how beautiful she was in the bright light of the moon. “We’re in New York, why don’t we make the best of it, huh?”

“And do what, Dean? It’s freezing cold, you hate museums and musicals-”

“Hey, I don’t hate ‘em! I’m just very particular about them.” He grabbed Y/N’s hands and rubbed them between his, “What about I take you to Broadway, we’ll go to one of those musicals you’re always going on about? Maybe we can go to Rockefeller Center, go ice skating.”

She laughed and I smiled; God, I missed that laugh. I missed the sound of it, and how her nose crinkled and her eyes squeezed shut. I missed the way she’d laugh so hard she would snort, which would throw her into another round of laughter that caused tears and hiccups as she tried to calm down. I missed her.

“Okay, fine. But you’re paying since I had to bail you out.” He laughed and held his arm out to her.

“Fair enough.” They walked away together in the darkness and I sighed.

“What’s the point in this, old man? Just to remind me of what? That I lost my best friend? That everything that happened from here on out was a catastrophic failure? Because I knew that already. I’ve known it for awhile.”

He gave me a sad smile and shook his head, “Let’s go. We’ve got a coupla more stops to make, don’t wanna lose track o’ time.” He reached out to me and I took a step back.

“I don’t think so. I’m done with this. I’ll wake up, and I’ll be in the floor of some abandoned house, and I’ll have to hear from Sammy how I got my ass handed to me. I’m over it, man.” I turned to walk away and suddenly a hand gripped my upper arm tightly.

“We ain’t done until I say it’s done, m’boy,” the old man practically growled,”Ya need to understand it’s not always about ya, or what ya want. Now, c’mon.” That’s about the time everything went black.

When I woke up, I was sitting on a bench directly on Broadway, and although I got a couple of weird looks, people walked around my legs like nothing was wrong. I guess I wasn’t the first person to jut my legs out into the middle of the sidewalk. “What the hell…”

“Ya say that an awful lot, don’t ya?” I looked up to see the man from before and groaned.

“Well, that tends to be the reaction of someone who keeps getting zapped through time.” I sat up and stretched, “What’s your name anyway?”

“My rightful title is the Ghost of Christmas Past, but ya can call me Neal.”

I raised an eyebrow, “Neal? Really?”

He shrugged, “Ya can call me by m’full name, but that is a bit much, ain’t it? Neal is fine.”

I stood up and shoved my hands in my pockets, “Okay Neal, why are we here?”

He gestured toward the building in front of me and I looked up to see a sign advertising Annie Get Your Gun. The doors flew open and a crowd of people poured out, young me and Y/N trailing after the group, laughing and smiling. Y/N jabbed young me in the ribs with her elbow.

“Admit it, you loved it.”

He shrugged, “It was okay. Annie Oakley is pretty cool, so I admit...for a musical...it was pretty good. But don’t expect me to admit that to anyone else, I’ll deny it.” He grabbed Y/n by the waist and she smiled.

“What do you think you’re doing, Dean Winchester?”

He grinned and winked, “Something I should have done a long time ago.” He bent down and kissed her, and I couldn’t help but smile at the memory. I watched as the crowd swarmed around them, how oblivious they were to the swirling bodies that bumped against them as they exited the theater. He pulled back and she looked up at him, her eyes wide. I remember when she used to look at me like that; it was like I was the only person that existed.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” she asked, her voice low.

He smiled as he brushed hair from her face, and it took everything I had not to reach out and try to do the same myself, “You’re beautiful, do you realize that? The prettiest girl in all of New York.”

She blushed, “Oh shut up. Quit trying to impress me, even though it might be working.” He grinned and grabbed her hand.

“Let’s go.” The two took off down the sidewalk and Neal and I followed. They stopped at the corner, and from down the street, the smooth voice of Frank Sinatra carried all the way to where they were standing. He leaned down and kissed her again, and this time, she kissed back. I closed my eyes as I remembered the spark, how my hands had sunk into her hair, how she had clung to me as if she was afraid to let go. By the time I opened my eyes, they were gone, drawn into the crowd as they made their way to the next destination.

“Aren’t we going to follow them? I mean...us?”

Neal shrugged, “Do ya remember what happens next?”

I nodded, “I took her to Rockefeller Center to ice skate. It was crowded as hell, not exactly as romantic as I had pictured it, but she loved every second of it. I busted my ass more than once, but she was flawless. Kind of reminded me of when she hunted, graceful but still dangerous...like she knew something everyone else didn’t. She...we...were happy.” I sighed and turned to face Neal again, “Why are we doing this? What is the point in all this?”

Neal smiled and gave a small shrug, “Now if I told ya that, laddie, it would defeat the purpose. Go on, now. It’s time to move on.”

“What do you mean? Isn’t there a schedule to this, like the next one comes at midnight tomorrow to collect me and show me the error of my ways? I mean, that’s what-”

Before I could finish my sentence, Neal was gone and I wasn’t in New York anymore. I was standing outside an abandoned house, alone.

I looked around, the setting familiar but not, and threw my hands up. “Seriously, Neal? No warning, no recoup time, just straight into the next one?”

“We don't really have time for that, it's not like we’re filming a movie.”

I jumped at the sudden voice and turned to face the source. A short woman with messy blonde hair was standing behind me, her hands jammed in her pockets and a look of semi-annoyance on her face. “Oh, great, so I guess you're the fairy that smacks me around. Just what I needed.”

She shrugged, “I don't have to smack you around, unless you're into that kind of thing. Not a fairy either. Name’s Alice, but you can call me Al.”

“Well, it’s not nice to meet you, Al.” I turn and look back at the house, “What is this place?”

“I don't know, this is your life, dude. I just show you want you need to see.” Before I can say anything else, I hear a snap and Al and I are standing in the dilapidated living room. Sammy is leaned against a doorway, his arms crossed as he watched Y/N flip through a giant book.

“Wait...this is...this is house we’re holed up in in Mississippi. What's Y/N doing there? It was just me and Sam on this job…” Al shrugged again and I rolled my eyes, “Is that all you do, just shrug?”

“Yea, mostly.”

“Sam, stop it. It's not going to work.” I look at Y/N, who had spoken without looking up.

“What are you talking about? I legitimately needed help, and since Dean is MIA, I thought maybe you could be useful.” Sam was lying, I could see it on his face. If I knew Y/N well enough, she also knew.

“Bullshit. He made his choice, quit trying to Parent Trap us. Where is he anyway? Out with his latest Christmas Eve conquest?”

She said it with a laugh, but I could see the look on her face, and it broke my heart. “Y/N, I swear, I’m not with anyone! I don’t...I don’t know what’s happening, but...it’s not that.”

“She can’t hear you, you know.”

“I know she can’t fucking hear me, Al! Dammit, what is this supposed to teach me, huh? That I shouldn’t have broken up with her? That I should have drug her into a life of pain and uncertainty, and having to watch me die over and over because this life sure as hell won’t let me go. Is that it? Because I won’t do that. I can’t do that. Not to her.”

“Looks like she’s still doing it, even without you.”

I glared at her, “It’s not been that long. She’ll get out eventually. She wasn’t born into this life, and she doesn’t have to stay in it. I should kick Sam’s ass for even calling her.” I watched as Y/N slammed the book shut and grabbed her jacket.

“Come on, Sasquatch. I think I know what you’re dealing with, although I have a suspicion you already knew. Let’s get it over with so I can get out of here before Dean gets back.” Sam frowned but followed after her and I looked back at Al.

“Now what? Do we follow them?”

She shook her head, “Nah, we’re movin’ on. Like I said, we don’t have much time. We gotta jump ahead a little bit. You said something about Y/N moving on, yea?”

“Yea, but what does that-” I was interrupted by once again being zapped somewhere else, and I had a feeling I wasn’t going to like what we were about to see.

I was standing in the middle of a parking lot,  facing the front of a run down hotel, the sign flickering off and on in the darkness. It was raining, although it didn’t seem like I was actually getting wet. Al had flipped her hood up anyway and had lit a cigarette. I narrowed my eyes at her, “Are you fucking kidding me right now?” She shrugged and it took everything I had not to punch her. “Shrug one more time, Al. One more time,” I growled, my hands clenched at my sides.

She took a drag from her cigarette and gave me a tight lipped smile, “Sorry.” She nodded towards the building, “Don’t you want to see why we’re here?”

“Not really, but I guess you’re going to make me, right? So let’s get this shit over with.” I motioned in front of me, “After you, since you know where I’m supposed to be going.” Al walked past me and stopped at Room Thirteen.

“Your turn, Romeo.” I rolled my eyes and moved to open the door, but instead fell through it. The room was dark, but there was enough light coming from outside that I saw two body shaped lumps under the sheets. I watched as the one closest to the door slowly sat up and stretched. Y/N.  

“So you brought me here to show me she’s sleeping with someone else?”

“Quit bitching and keep watching.”

Y/N slipped from bed quietly and began gathering her clothes, but not before I got an eyeful of scars that hadn’t been there before. After she dressed, she sat down and pulled on her boots, carefully lacing them up, then grabbed her jacket and phone from the table. She walked towards the door, paused, went back to the night stand and dug through the wallet that was lying there and pocketed the cash she found. She gave one last look at the form still in bed, then carefully opened the door and shut it quietly behind her. Al and I walked through it, and watched as she hopped into her car and took off, throwing gravel out behind her as she sped off.

“She’s still hunting. And who was that bozo?”

“Who knows? Another hunter, some sorry jackass from the bar who was too drunk to notice all her scars? Does it really matter?”

“Of course it matters! She deserves….God, she deserves so much more than this.” I paused before I asked my next question; I wasn’t sure i wanted the answer. “Where...where am I?”

Al took another puff from her cigarette, then flicked it across the pavement, “I could show you, but there’s not much point. Let’s just say you end up where you started, only this time you don’t leave the cell.”

“What about Sam?” Sam would never leave me in there, not on my own.

“I don’t know. I’m only showing you what I was shown. Maybe Sam begrudgingly agrees to get your drunken ass out, or maybe he leaves you there because he’s tired of your bullshit. Knowing him, though, and your weird codependency, he’ll get you out. That’s not really the point here, Dean. Although I’m not surprised that’s where your brain went.”

I looked in the direction that Y/N had driven, “No, I know that wasn’t the point. She keeps hunting, and she doesn’t settle down. Her life doesn’t change just because I left her. That’s the point, right? That it doesn’t matter what any of us do, we’re all destined to do this anyway.”

“Basically.”

“You know, someone could have just told me that instead of going on this cliche little journey through time.”

Al pulled a cell phone from her pocket and ran her thumb down the screen ,”Yea, but would you have listened? I’m pretty sure time and experience have taught you otherwise.” She looked back up, “Sorry to cut this short, but I’ve got another appointment. So you understand, right? You get why we did this? Get your shit together, Winchester. Neal and I have better things to do than to keep trying to fix your fuck ups, alright? Go get the girl, already.” She snapped her fingers, and everything went black one more time.

I woke up in the Impala, sprawled out in the front seat. I sat up with a gasp and looked around, and realized that I was sitting outside out of a hotel rather than the house Sam and I had been in. “What the hell…” I mumbled, unsure of how I made it to the hotel, never mind with the car. I patted myself down, and not finding any injuries, I slowly climbed out and shut the door. I looked up and realized where I was.

Room Thirteen.

It was definitely a different hotel, but the number was the same. Although it occurred to me that it might be a bad idea to just assume, I walked up to the door anyway and raised my hand to knock. The door swung open and the person on the other side gasped.

“Hey, Y/N,” I nearly whispered, afraid if I was any louder, she’d run. She looked up at me with wide eyes and I wondered if her heart was beating as fast as mine.

“Hi,” she answered just as quietly.

“I...I’m sorry, Y/N. I’m so sorry...I just...I wanted to protect you. But you’re just going to end up still hunting while I’m locked up in some drunk tank, and I don’t want you to rob the dudes you sleep with, it’s just not what I wanted for you at all-”

“Excuse me? Who am I robbing? Who said I’m sleeping with anybody-”

“Just listen, okay? Me pushing you away is not going to protect you. It doesn’t automatically mean you’re going to leave this life and go back to what you had before. The moment you found out about all this stuff, there wasn’t any chance of leaving it. I just...I didn’t want to be the reason you felt trapped, okay? I don’t want to be the reason your dreams are gone.”

Y/N smiled at me, a genuine smile...one I haven’t seen in a long time. She put a hand against my cheek and tilted her head, “You’re a dumbass, Dean Winchester. You’re the reason I’m still here to even have dreams. You didn’t take my old life away, you gave me a new one.” She kissed me, and it was like the world stopped. I closed my eyes and let her warmth sink in, deep into my bones. She pulled back and she laughed as I frowned at the separation. I opened my eyes to see her staring at me, “Wherever you are...that’s where my dreams are, okay?”

“You don’t know how great it is to hear that, kid.” I paused, and she raised an eyebrow.

“What?”

“How’d you know I was out here, anyway? You opened the door before I even knocked.”

She shook her head, “No idea. I thought I heard your car and when I looked nothing was there. A couple of minutes later, something made me open the door and check again...and there you were. It was the strangest thing.” She stepped back through the doorway, “Would you like to come inside?”

I nodded and gave her a grin, “Absolutely.” I stopped as I stepped over the threshold and looked over my shoulder. In the distance Neal and Al were standing next to each other, Neal swaying drunkenly and Al smoking. Neal waved, then elbowed Al, who gave a half-hearted nod, and I nodded back. They slowly disappeared into the darkness and I smiled. Merry Christmas, indeed.

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