#i should let people place bets on when im gonna draw again and for every day i dont they get to charge interest

[cherry-shipping]

ouwaaaaaaaaaaahhh sans undertale My heart beats for that guy

[percyinpanties]

hey I'm the pipeyna anon and that's ok!!! can u do pipeyna with piper pining after hot jock Reyna which hopefully ends happy (smutty)

just a quick warm-up, i say, i won’t spend too much time on this. i really had to resist just going on and on and on with this. i miss writing this ship, damn.

anyway - this fits really well with an enemy to lovers prompt i have for jercy, so thats what im hinting at too here.

Read on Ao3

for context : i always write college aus from a UK uni perspective bc that’s all i know and i don’t care to adapt to how it might or might not work in the u.s. (sorry)

rating: teen+ (no smut in this one, but let me tell you, this TEMPTED me)

words: 2.2k 

___

“An actual goddess” Piper says wistfully from where she’s leaning against the wall next to Percy, taking back the cigarette she’d just bummed of him. Her eyes are glued on the field, and more precisely on Reyna, smile on her face and water bottle in her hand as she jogs over to Jason standing at the side of the field. They greet each other with a hug, even as Reyna wrinkles her face, seemingly complaining about her own sweatiness.

It’s coincidence that the end of Reyna’s soccer practice collides conveniently with Piper’s and Percy’s late seminar on Mondays. It isn’t coincidence that Percy and her have taken to sharing a cigarette on the side of the building that looks out toward the field during their break, however.

 Percy makes a non-committal noise and his eyes follow Piper’s gaze while she takes a drag of the cigarette and wrinkles her nose. She needs to quit smoking for good, she thinks, and flicks the ash to the ground. There was a brief moment in first year when Piper thought that Percy might be interested in Reyna, or she in him, but luckily, nothing ever came of that.

 “You think they’re dating?” Percy asks, arms crossed over his chest now, making no move to take the cigarette back again. He’s not even pretending not to be staring, his eyes intense where they flit between Reyna and Jason. Piper on the other hand has the common decency to at least cast her eyes away every now and again before she’s caught looking for a little too long.

At the edge of the field, Reyna and Jason are standing close together now, chatting about god knows what, smiling and laughing. They’re certainly comfortable with each other, but Piper can’t say that’s much of an indication given how she’s around Percy.

 “I hope not.” Piper mutters and Percy laughs at that, even though she knows he agrees. Percy wouldn’t admit it in a million years, but Piper would bet real money that he has a thing for Jason, too, as much as he claims to hate the guy. She’d have to be deaf and blind not to notice the tension between them.

It would make sense, though, in a way. Jason is captain of the men’s rugby team, Reyna of the women’s soccer team. Some of their practices collide and the two clubs do most of their weekly socials together, and Piper’s seen the two of them hanging out aside from that plenty as well. Reyna and her haven’t talked much about Jason, maybe because Piper hasn’t actually exchanged more than five words with him and never had much of an urge to change that, but she knows that Reyna and Jason have known each other before university.

Around Jason, Reyna seems to let her guard down, something Piper has only managed to achieve a handful of times since they met during their first year.

 Jason laughs at something Reyna says, eyes bright and head thrown back and Piper can’t deny that he’s handsome, at the very least. He’s fairly decent, too, as far as guys go, and really, Piper knows she shouldn’t be hoping that there is nothing between Reyna and him if that is what would make Reyna happy.

 “Invite her to the party.” Percy suggests then, drawing Piper’s attention back from the tangent her brain was so insistent to start on. When Piper turns her face to look at him, he’s already looking back at her, one eyebrow arched. “I was going to, anyway, but it’s different coming from you yourself.”

 He’s not teasing her, it’s an honest suggestion, and technically not even a bad one. It’s Percy’s birthday this weekend, and if nothing else, it would be a good excuse to hang out again. Percy knows a ton of people, but he usually doesn’t invite too many to his party, so with any luck, it won’t be too crowded to actually spend some time with Reyna.

More than that, though, it’s another opportunity for Piper to finally get a move on. Percy, Piper knows, thinks that Piper’s pining had reached a point where it’s almost comical halfway through last year, but even so, Piper has yet to manage to actually act on her feelings.

A party is casual enough that she can always play it off as nothing serious when it ends up blowing up in her face. Piper might finally get over herself and just ask Reyna out already – although she’s tried that a few times before only to find herself tongue tied and staring at Reyna like she hung the moon in the sky. She’s been head over heels for Reyna since maybe three weeks after they met in first year, and now that they’re starting their third and final year, Piper needs to get a move on or it’ll simply be too late. Granted, she’s scared shitless at the prospect of being turned down, but at this point, even that would be better than pining forever and never finding out if she’d even stand a chance.

 “Yeah… maybe.” Piper says finally, and manages a small smile towards Percy who bumps his shoulder against hers playfully. They should be heading back inside, so Piper sneaks a last glance toward Reyna and this time, finds her looking back.

    They don’t share any classes this year, and Piper doesn’t usually run into Reyna on campus, so on Wednesday morning, she ends up texting Reyna on her way to class. She fumbles with her phone, almost tripping over her own two feet trying to type the words out as fast as possible, and ends up having to sidestep off the path to actually send the texts.

 Hey you.

we’re having a party on Saturday, it’s Percy’s birthday.

 Piper wants to add more, but instead, she bites her lip and stuffs her phone back into the pocket of her jeans. It’s almost an open invitation like this already anyway, and Piper wants to gauge Reyna’s first reaction before deciding exactly how she’s going about asking. Technically, it would be so easy to just as Reyna to go with her, specifically, to the party, but the intention might be lost over text and anyway, wouldn’t it be simpler to just invite her generally?

Piper frets throughout the entirety of her first lecture, and most of the second one, for nothing. Reyna doesn’t answer, even though the messenger app shows Piper that she’s read both texts already, and Piper tries not to be disappointed about it. She doesn’t know what Reyna’s schedule is like today, the girl might just be busy and planned on replying later. It makes sense, much more than Piper’s second thought that Reyna is not answering because Piper is annoying and Reyna doesn’t actually want to spend any time with her. She knows that thought is stupid, knowing that however does nothing to ease the anxious knot in Piper’s stomach.

 Piper finds herself checking her phone more often than not. It would be funny if it wasn’t so ridiculous, and if the lecturer wasn’t so clearly catching on that Piper isn’t paying as much attention to the class as she is to her phone. She texts Percy as well, but she knows he’s in that seminar he shares with Jason, so chances are that she won’t be getting a reply on that end anytime soon either.  In the end, she has to force herself to put her phone away and actually focus on the lecture up front, even though by that point, she is already lost as to what they’re even talking about in the first place. It’s no good, and Piper can’t deny being relieved when the lecturer eventually dismisses the class.

 She doesn’t allow herself to check her messages until she’s across campus in the coffee shop, queuing for some much needed caffeine and fishing out her phone so she doesn’t have to make small talk with anyone while she waits in line. Reyna still hasn’t replied, but at least Percy has messaged her after his seminar.

 I’m gonna strangle him, Piper. You’ll have to bust me out of prison because they are going to arrest me for goddamn murder.

 All she’d asked was if his classes were as boring as hers today, and while she had expected Percy to go off about Jason in reply, this isn’t exactly what she’d thought to be reading today. She smiles at her phone, types out a quick reply and moves up in the queue.

 That bad? What’s he done now?

 The way Percy talks about Jason makes Piper think of a Cartoon Network villain, always plotting, provoking and scheming. The few times she’s spoken to Jason, the guy wasn’t half bad, and if Piper is honest, she doesn’t quite get the vendetta these two have with each other. She suspects though that it has something to do with how ‘infuriatingly attractive, like fucking superman or something’ Percy described Jason after their first class together.

 It’s like he thinks I’m stupid or something. Got a dumb fucking project to do together and he honestly told me that he ‘needs to pass this class so iif I’m not planning to put in the work, we might as well ask for new partners right away’

Like, excuse me, bitch? My grades are better than yours, for one thing

And for another, it’s not like good-old Dodds is gonna let us switch anyway

 Piper huffs audibly while she reads the texts. It’s clear Percy’s actually upset by this, and she figures it will only get worse if they actually have to do the work together in the coming weeks. Before she can shoot Percy a reply though, she’s next in line.

Piper orders her coffee, steps aside to wait once she’s paid, and rereads Percy’s texts before she types her reply to Percy.

 Sounds like a dick move.

 Piper’s almost inclined to defend Jason for a moment, since Percy mostly doesn’t pay much attention in class, especially in Mrs. Dodds seminars – so how is Jason meant to know how much effort Percy puts in outside of it? On the other hand, though, Piper knows how Percy is, and how personally he’s clearly taken Jason’s comment already, so trying to convince him otherwise would simply be fruitless.

Once Piper’s coffee is done, she heads back outside, finding an empty bench to enjoy the break before her next class. If nothing else, at least Percy’s ranting is distracting her from Reyna, and the party, and asking the other girl out – and in between the rapid texts Percy and her are sending back and forth Piper almost forgets about it entirely. Until she has to head back to her last class, that is, and sees that Reyna has, so far, still left her on read.

 Piper hesitates for a moment, clicking on the text field without typing anything just yet. Is she going to come off as desperate if she texts again, or should she just clarify now before it gets too late and Reyna already makes different plans for the weekend?

Piper types out a few words, deletes them again and pockets her phone only to get it back out a few seconds later to try again. She shouldn’t be walking and texting, especially given that she should be going faster to actually make it to her lecture in time, but Piper knows that if she doesn’t send this text now, she’ll spend another lecture agonising over what to say.

 So yeah, I wanted to invite you too ofc :)

 Piper cringes at her wording, but figuring it won’t get much better, she sends the text anyway and finally tucks her phone back into her pocket to actually hurry to class.

   By the time Reyna replies, it’s late and Piper is sitting on the beat-up couch in her shared flat’s living room, watching something trashy on TV without really paying much attention at all. Percy is clanking around in the kitchen, making something that smells good enough to remind Piper that she should probably be getting herself some food, too. She’s about to get up and rummage through her fridge compartment in search of something edible when her lock screen lights up with a message from Reyna, and that derails any thoughts of food immediately. Piper isn’t subtle in the way she practically lunges for her phone, but luckily, Percy can’t see and judge her from his position in the kitchen.

 Sorry, long day, reads the first text, following a few seconds later by another one.

Promised Jason to hang out but I’d love to :(

 Piper bites her lip, knowing before typing out the words that Percy won’t like what she’s doing in the slightest.

 You could bring him? Percy won’t mind.

 Except that Percy most certainly will mind, Piper thinks, and grimaces. If she hadn’t come off as desperate before, she most certainly does now – texting back within less than a minute after having been left on read all day, only to offer that Reyna can bring her friend (boyfriend?) along as well if that means she’ll be there.

There’ll be other opportunities, Piper tells herself, and scrubs a hand over her face. She needs to chill, and maybe she needs to grab a cigarette and step outside and calm down before she embarrasses herself even further.

 Piper stares at the screen. How on earth is she meant to interpret this? At this rate, she won’t make it until Saturday, dying of one crisis or another before then.

 if you’re sure? I’ll ask him.

haven’t seen you in a while, would be nice to hang out again ;)

 I’m sure.

[xserpentlife]

Care *Smut*

Requested: Kinda, mentioned this yesterday, started as a request but when elsewhere. Orig Request here: Hey hun ease can I have a ddlg little girl smut imagine with sweetpea or fp jones not bothered which where I have been a brat all day and he punishes me thanks so much xx.

A/N: This was created and I accidently went somewhere other than the request, I am also using this as one of the bingo spots on my card: Aftercare. 

Warnings: Smut

Word Count: 2339

There was something off with you today and Sweet Pea could tell from the start. First it was waking you up, you didn’t want to, which was not much different than usual, however, this time you actually cried and Pea didn’t know what to do. You weren’t in pain, you weren’t going through anything really. He just held you while you cried and then eventually got you dressed and to school.

Finally at school when pulling in the drive you began to calm down.

“Wanna tell me what that was about?”

“I dunno, Daddy.”

Another odd thing to add to the list for the day. You were his little girl, mostly only in bed though, and once in a while after play when you slipped into little space. It was very, very odd and concerned him that you were calling him daddy in a non sexual manner while at school. You were often a brat in public, using daddy to turn him on, but this was entirely different.

“Baby girl talk to me”

“Gotta school daddy”

“Be a good girl in class and don’t say anything okay, I’ll see you during free hour”

“Okay daddy” you kissed him on the cheek something you always did while in little space

He was afraid you’d get found out, your kink and little space would be exposed and it would put you in even more of a rut. See no one really knew of yours and Peas' relationship except one or two people. You keep it secret, it is deeply personal. You went through a lot of trauma, falling into little space is your way of dealing with stress and hard times, he could usually make it better pretty quick but this time he had no idea why you fell into little space so hard and so quick. I mean you had both been busy the past few days. Not seeing much of each other than in passing and at night when falling asleep, but you never hid anything from him, and you hadn’t mentioned anything bad at all, so the fact you slipped without him knowing or detecting it made him so upset with himself. He knew he shouldn’t have sent you into class, but you had a test you absolutely could not miss and he was hoping you’d be okay alone. He has learned that when in little space you cling to him like a bear. Turning to your little side is your safe space, but without Pea there would be none of that at all. He is like the base to your tower.

The class could not have ended faster for him, he needed to see you and make sure you were all right. He always waited for you by the lockers. He watched and waited but hadn’t found you. He walked to your classroom and saw the teacher yelling at you. He walked in, not caring about anything in the world, plus he didn’t have this teacher for math. But saw you crying eyes watering red and puffy.

“What the fuck is going on”

“None of your business son, you can’t just barge in my classroom like that”

“I can damn well barge in here when your yelling and up in a girls face for no goddamn reason sir, plus no one fucking talks to my girlfriend like that I don’t care if you’re her teacher or not. You can speak to her on monday” Pea dragged you out of the room, grabbing your hand in the process. Tears still streaming down your face he brought you to a corner in the rec room, thankfully no one was in there, because your friends are usually the only ones there and they were all in class except fangs, but he was with Kevin. All you did was cry as he sat you down, no words coming out of your mouth. He loved you so goddamn much and seeing you cry was always a struggle for him.

“Princess you gotta talk to me or I can’t fix it or at least try to make it better” You shook your head pouting up at him

“Baby c’mon please whyd id he yell at you”

“Said… said i was bad at math and, and then he...” you started balling again.

“He got bad at me cause I got done early and it was so bad, but he, he got mad also cause I got done early and drew on my paper. I don’t get it daddy you always say I can draw!”

“Baby you didn’t do anything wrong”

“He… he yelled yes I did daddy he got mad. Was my drawing not good daddy”

“Im sure it was perfect aby, but sometimes there are things we just can’t draw on”

“Wanted to color but no pages, thought I could make a pretty picture but…” You cried one again Fangs walking into the room Pea glancing back at him.

Fangs found out you had a little space when he had walked into the trailer one day completely beat up and you were coloring on the floor while pea ran to the store.

*Flashback*

“Pea I need… Y/N?” HE saw you sitting on the floor onesie on coloring away on a giant page.

“Hi Fangsy, come color, Fangsy color, pleaseeeeeee”

“Y/N I need you to patch me up”

“I, Uh… fangsy hurt?

“Yeah, can you get me ice and a bandage?”

“Mhm, '' you nodded walking over to the freezer, grabbing the ice before heading to the bathroom and bringing it all back over to fangs. You leaned down pacci hanging from your shirt.

Pea walked in then starting fangs down when he walked through the door.

“What the fuck Fangs!”

“Sorry bro im hurt, I just walked in I didn’t”

“Don't yell daddy! Fangsy hurts”

“Sorry baby girl, can you go into the bedroom and i'll be in, in a minuted”

“You nodded kissing him before walking off to the bedroom” That was the night Fangs learned about your little space. It only made sense he would find out. Him and Pea were always together, so that means you are always there too. SOmetimes you were good at suppressing it, and hiding it but other times it wasn’t so easy. Fangs didn’t necessarily get it at least not at first, neither did pea, but they both supported and were there for you entirely . Fangs was a good support system and closest to Pea, meaning when Pea couldn’t be there, he was.

*end flashback*

“Aww pretty lady why you crying” If pea couldn't calm you down, fangs would come in making you laugh and forget about it.

“Bruce didn’t like my picture”

“Well that means an old man is just an ass hat, I bet your picture was absolutely stunning. Just like its creator, a true artist”

“I not that good”

“Mhm you sure are, i think you should draw me a picture for my apartment, could you do that?”

“Mhm” you nodded your head smiling. Fangs got you distracted long enough to stop crying and calm down some.

“Baby girl yo okay now” you nodded your head slightly still clinging onto him “baby we gotta get to class…”

“Wanna go home”

“Baby we..”

“Want home Pea, need you… please, wanna forget” he knew exactly what it meant. Sometimes you wanted to color, have food made for you, a bath run with pea in it, and other times you wanted him and only him, not just cuddling you want more.

“Okay, let’s go...” He didn’t hesitate, he knew what you needed. In that moment he knew everything.

He tried letting you go to stand up but you didn’t want to. You clung onto him like a bear in the wild. You loved Pea, you needed Pea in more ways than you could even explain. Fangs grabbed the keys from his pocked and unlocked the truck as Pea placed you in.

“Thanks bro”

“She gonna be okay”

“Mhm she’ll be fine just needs some time today to decompress”

“Okay, I know you got her but call if you need anything, and i'll cover for you in class”

“Always bro, and thanks again”

You got to his trailer as he led you to the bedroom sitting you down slowly. He grabbed the silk ties from the bottom drawer slowly kissing along you wrists as he tied them together.

“Baby are you sure”

“Yes daddy want you”

“Okay Princess but you know your safe word right?”

“Mhm..”

“Can you tell me?”

“Avacadoooo” He chuckled to himself lightly remembering back ot the time that you created the safeword. You thought it was so funny because the first time you used it he wasn’t hurting you at all, but you were so overpleasured you couldn’t go on, out you screamed avacadooooo as both you and him simalteanosly ignished. Its one of his funnies and best memories of the two of you.

By now, the amount of times you had been together he could read you like a book. The emaming of every movement the change in tone of every breath sound, he knew ever bit and piece of you, and your life and you wouldn’t have it any other way”

“Good girl” he began tying your hands to the bedpost.

“Want you to fuck me hard daddy, wnat to hurt, want to forget” when you were so subby that you slipped into little space forhours you wouldn’t always know what you needed or wanted. Pea knew you didn’t need to be fucked you needed love.

“You ready baby”

“Yes daddy”

You felt his body press lightly onto your own, he began kissing you, heading up to your neck, probably one of your weakest spots.

“Daddy not fair, you have your clothes on”

“Wanna take them off princess” You pouted up at him, you couldn’t you were tied.

“Well guess they stay on” You began to whimper eyes filling slightly

“Hey hey princess no crying tonight okay, want you happy”

“Always happy with you daddy” He took of his clothes bringing his body to yours once again. His cock already hard. You atche dhim come up to you, his lips ghosting over your own. HIs tip tickled over your entrance as you whimpered for more. He began thrusting slow short at first, then deeper as he went. The quicker they got the more you moaned. His hand found its way up to your neck, a firm grip, your breath halting for a moment. The feeling arousing you to no end. You felt your orgasm building.

“You like that princess”

“Yes daddy” he untied your wrists with a pull, your arms making there way around his neck as he thrusted into you . Head in the crook of his neck you moaned out.

“Daddy I can’t”

“Gonna cum for me princess”

“Mhm, yes fuck daddy”

“Fuck.” He cried out. CUmming  as you came, eyes rolling back into your head he watched you come undone. YOu let out a loud moan of his name, as you felt his hand tighten by accident a second wave of pleasure passed through the both of you. He kissed you on the lips as he laid down next to you, pulling you to his chest. Your breathing remained heavy, your orgasm being one of the stronger ones you've had with pea.

“I didn’t hurt you did I?” Worry overcame him. He never wanted to hurt you. He never wanted to be that guy. He always made sure to protect you, always made sure to make sure that you were okay.

“No you didn’t daddy” you smiled, your eyes fluttering shut as his lips pressed to your forehead.

“I’m gonna run your bath and get you water okay” being with someone for so long helped you realize what they needed after certain things. For you water was number one. A bath always comes second due to the ties and your skin. Luckli silk helped you not get hurt, but it still could leave marks especially with how hard you pull to get away.

He came back and moved the blanket off you watching his release drip out of you. He picked you up placing you in the warm water, before slipping in behind you. You whimpered as you felt him lean you back against him, your hands touching the water and the little marks stinging. It was not a pain you didn’t like. It was nothing that Pea did, everything he did was perfect, but it always made him upset.

“Baby i’m”

“No… don’t apologize, I needed it, thankyou” He leaned down kissing your shoulder blade. You both sat in the water till it became colder. Your eyes began to get heavy. He stepped out watching you shiver from the cold air, as his body heat was removed from your skin. He helped you stand up legs still weak from the session. He grabbed your lotion and helped you over to the bed to lay you down and apply it to you.

“Wanna sleep”

“No baby, not yet or at least lay down so I can cover you in your lotion okay” You laid down, as his hands casted their way over your skin you began to fall asleep, him talking as you closed your eyes. The blanket soon made its way over you, his body coming to touch your back, “I love you” You felt a kiss to your head before you fell into a sweet darkness. Waking up the next day you were better than you had been a while. You thanked him with morning kisses, getting dressed and ready for the day as you both went to Pops for breakfast. He was your rock, your night, the light in the darkness you felt, and he’d always be there.

[halfgclden]

character meme for cleo;;; brotp meme for: l/katie, l/keaton, chase/ellie, chase/lulu, parker/kerri, parker/faye, jordan/victoria, ime/fizz, cleo/fizz;;;; headcanons: ☆ for chase, ☮for parker/faye, ★ for ime

Cleo

2-4 songs that are probably on their iPod: The Orion Experience - Cult of Dionysus, Chance The Rapper - Cocoa Butter Kisses, San Cisco - The Distance, ABBA - Voulez-Vous (fun fact: Cleo only has two tattoos that are pure text and one reads “VOULEZVOUS” and the other reads “ANGELEYES” because she Knows what’s up)

the one place they sometimes end up falling asleep – where they’re not supposed to: it’d be in the woods or the strawberry fields, but this happens very rarely

the game they’d destroy everyone else at: she loves pool and loves making people think she seems bad at it so that she can bet them lol 

the emoticon they’d use most often: ok it’s between 💕 and the pleading face but that won’t show up on the computer so

what they act like when they haven’t had enough sleep: she gets pretty cranky lol. it’s like when she can’t choose an outfit normally she just figures something out but when she’s tired and can’t pick out an outfit she wants to cry and not get out of the shower until the water runs cold.

their preferred hot beverage on really cold nights. or mornings. or whenever.: she likes chai lattes or mulled wine, depending on the mood

how they like to comfort/care for themselves when they’re in a slump: she likes to take baths but she can’t really do that at camp lol (which makes her extra sad), so she’ll do yoga, light some candles, and then play sad music over her headphone and pretend she’s in a music video as she stares out the window (bonus points if it’s raining and/or she’s on the bus)

what they wanted to be when they grew up: a writer, and then an architect (the second of which she’s actually got a degree in)

their favorite kind of weather: she likes it when it rains, but a warm rain, because it reminds her of home

thoughts on their singing voice (decent? terrible? soprano? alto?): she’s got a pretty good voice that she doesn’t do anything with but sing along to the radio/her playlist (but also get her drunk enough and she’s way down for karaoke)

how/what they like to draw or doodle: she mostly draws plants and things of that nature (ha, get it?)

L/Katie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: L and every single time she pretends she didn’t do it and then laughs her head off at her own joke

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: gonna ignore this bc ya

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t see either of them getting arrested but maybe katie because L went to a protest or something and got caught up in arrests???

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: katie seems like she’d give good advice. she was probably like “L what’s up with you and Blue n Rosie?? stop being a useless lesbian” so ya c:

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: i feel like katie does this and L just giggles

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm they both seem like they’d be like “no, you take what you want” “no, no, i insist, take what you want” lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: L starts them and they both get tired rather than anyone winning

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf would either of them??? 

L/Keaton

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: see above lol, but she’d take them from Keaton less often and offer some of her own as well

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: ha neither they’re both like “EW”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: keaton is so tame but i can see some unfortunate thing happening that he got caught up in and he calls L all embarrassed bc he’s like “i don’t want rory to worry too much”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: i think L is the one that gives more advice and comfort!!

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: L and keaton lets it slide because she’s a goober

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: lol L so that keaton can get the bottom bunk with his leg

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they seem like they’d each throw a pillow and L would flop dramatically and give a death monologue 

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: neither?? idk

Chase/Ellie

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: chase always and ellie’s like “YOU HAVE UR OWN” and chase is like “YA BUT URS LOOK BETTER”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: look ik its always chase in jail but ellie has such a temper i feel like she’d be the one to be arrested lol 

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm chase gives comfort, not advice, and he also doesn’t date so i guess that answers that

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lol chase?? he’d cheat by changing his card to say what he wanted it to with his powers

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: chase says give me top bunk or give me death

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: i feel like chase would start one jokingly and end up yelling “i surrender!!!” over and over again as all the siblings team up against him

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf definitely not chase. i feel like ellie WOULD tho and chase’s hair would turn bright pink 

Chase/Lulu

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: they each steal so many fries from each other that they might as well have eaten their own fries

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: it’d have to be lulu

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ok it’d be lulu busting chase out but also the idea of lulu going to jail and then making friends w all the inmates is so funny to me lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: they seem like they both wouldn’t?? chase might be like “u have any crushes?? is it carly?? u should do an interpretive dance to her favourite song i bet she’d fall for u then”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: lulu and chase is like “oh!! i can not see! i must be blind!”

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: i feel like they’d actually race each other for it lol. chase pulls her off as she’s going up the ladder, lulu oils it so he can’t get up, they both have to sleep on the floor

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: lulu starts them, chase is too good at them, but also i can see her and logan and carly all teaming up against him here too

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: gods why can i 100% see lulu saying this and chase being like “noooooo”

Parker/Kerri

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker and kerri is like “why didn’t you get two orders????” and he’s like “bc you got one that i could eat (:”

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lmao parker and kerri’s like “get ouTTa here valentine”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: i can’t imagine why parker would go to jail but it would probably be kerri busting him out lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: hmmm kerri bc parker’s not good at advice oR comfort lmao

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: kerri only did this once when she realized how dumb the move was in chess and just took it back. parker didn’t even realize what her mistake was

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: parker would want the bottom bunk tbh

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: kerri and parker’s like “oh so thAt’s how it is???” and she gives up before it gets too intense

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: omf parker?? but only when he’s in a certain mood and then kerri’s like “you can’t sAy that”

Parker/Faye

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: parker tried once and got one warning. next time he’s getting stabbed

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: neither, faye just gags loudly

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: lmao parker and he’s like “tsk tsk” and she’s like “not another word”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lmao they don’t talk about this stuff with each other

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: um if parker tried this he Would get stabbed

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: faye calls dibs on whatever she wants that day and parker’s like “ugh” and argues for like five minutes just to argue and then lets her have whichever she wants

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: they don’t pillow fight anymore because every time they did it would get too serious lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: um this seems like more of a faye line but would she say this to jack ???

Jordan/Victoria

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: jordan doesn’t get food, he just steals victoria’s fries and then she’s like “vvvvvvv why didn’t you just sAy you wanted friES????”

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: if jordan ever got caught, victoria. but also if victoria ever got caught doing something w cyrus i doubt she’d call jordan lol

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: umm they Don’t

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they shamelessly cheat in other ways lol

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: jordan teleports there and sticks his tongue out and she’s like “well i wanted the bottom bunk ANWAY asshole”

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: jordan starts them and nobody wins them bc he runs away but vic counts that as him giving up so she wins lol

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: both of them are like “ew” but also vic would just to annoy him

Ime/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: hmm fizz steals them and ime lets her

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: ime has to bust fizz out and fizz is like “don’t say it” and ime’s like “u shouldn’t have gotten caught” and fizz is like “i told u not to say it!!!” and then she’s like “ugh just don’t tell alec they’ll cry” and ime’s like “hmmmmmmm… ok”

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: lol ime gives advice and fizz is like “omfg did i ask??”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: neither of them need to do this they just play and let their powers go wild

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: hmm fizz

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: umm ime starts fizz wins?

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: ime says this to caine and fizz is like “i’ll kill u”

Cleo/Fizz

who steals french fries off the other’s plate: ummm fizz but cleo would offer anyway

who jokingly moves in for the kiss when someone asks if they’re a couple: lol cleo would

who has to bust or bail the other out of jail: cleo does nOt seem like the person who fizz would call but she’d come get her if she did

who gives the other advice/comfort about dating issues: cleo’s like “ugH i like someone” and fizz is like “can u be a little quieter abt that please that’s gross”

who shamelessly cheats at games by reaching over to cover the other’s eyes: they cheat in other ways thank u v much

who immediately calls dibs on the top bunk: ummm cleo will say she’s fine with either and then fizz chooses the one she wants and cleo sulks lol

who starts and who wins the pillow fights: cleo starts them by accident, fizz wins

who says “your pants would look better on their floor” to the other’s potential crush: fizz?? to make fun of cleo mostly

Chase

☆ - happy headcanon

chase will leave post it notes on his sibling’s doors/on the bathroom door/mirror to remind them to take their vitamins, grab their glasses on the way out the door, or pick up milk (and things like that). it started as a way to remind jesse that he should wear his glasses more but now caspar or ellie will also wake up with a little note on their door with a doodle that’s like “don’t forget an umbrella today! its supposed to rain!!

Parker/Faye

☮ - friendship headcanon

parker loves having a friend that he can be competitive with and also kind of be a total bitch with. he likes the fact that they banter and don’t talk about anything too serious

Ime

★ - sad headcanon

ime’s grandmother died only a few months after they arrived at camp. they were able to go home for the funeral, but they didn’t even know that she’d been sick and feel as though they never had a proper goodbye

[sandyferal]

The Vacation part 4

This was starting to get to Megavolt a little bit.

Megavolt and Quackerjack were on a boat, one that was regularly used by tourists to get to and from Saint Canard without having to use the traffic-ridden bridge. They had snuck onboard by stealing tickets from two unsuspecting passengers who were luckily the same species as the two criminals. Now they were heading to one of the nearby cities, surrounded by happy passengers chatting about some mundane thing or the other.

But at the moment Megavolt was not exactly happy.

It was enough that anywhere he looked he could see miles of water, and the constant movement of the boat was beginning to make him a bit sick, and the sun was shining straight into his eyes, but Quackerjack’s incessant scratching was not helping.

“Will you stop that?” Megavolt asked

“Stop what?”

“Scratching your head, you’re making me itchy just looking at you.”

“I can’t help it,” Quackerjack pulled his hand away from his head and into a fist with visible effort. “Im not used to having my hat off, now my head’s all…” he made vague clawing motions around his scalp. “Itchy!”

“Yeah I know what you mean.” Megavolt tugged at his own clothes to hide the lightning shaped scars on his arm. “But there’s no way for us to be inconspicuous with you wearing that hat of yours.”

Quackerjack huffed. “You’d be surprised. A trench coat and a hat can do wonders.”

“On top of our normal clothes? In this weather?”

“Fair enough,” Quackerjack’s smile returned suddenly. “Oh, but I can’t wait to get back in my old clothes and wreak havoc in a new playground. Maybe the kids there will even have better taste in toys! Why didn’t I think of this before?”

“Well maybe for one,” Megavolt mumbled. “New city, unfamiliar streets, strangers everywhere. And crossing over all this water…” he looked down and shuddered slightly. “Not exactly my idea of a good time.”

“Aw c’mon, what’s wrong with new places?”

“I just don’t want to forget everything I left behind again,” Megavolt said quietly.

Quackerjack pulled the rodent closer to him. “Don’t be to down Sparky! You won’t forget anything while I’m here! And you know it, I can remind you of Saint Canard until you want to pull you hair out!”

“Ok, ok, don’t go overboard you loon.” Megavolt smiled. “I do have to admit it will be nice not to be cornered by Dipwing whenever I leave my hideout.”

“We can have nice long uninterrupted playdates without that nosy duck trying to but in!”

“No more ‘I am the terror that flaps in the night,’ or ‘I am the swimsuit that’s two sizes two small!’ Like geez, we get it, you’re all the most annoying parts of all our lives, do you have to announce it every time?”

“Ugh I know! Though it is nice of him to have an intro that’s long enough so we can have a decent warning.”

At that moment a large jet of water burst up from somewhere a few feet behind the boat only for the water to return to its normal mostly uninterrupted state only a few moments later.

“What are those two doing down there?” Megavolt asked.

“I don’t know,” Quackerjack said. “I don’t think I want to. Those two are so sappy.”

“Aren’t they though? Like geez do they have to be so-” Megavolt paused. “‘Sappy?’ Was that a pun?”

“You know it!”

Megavolt snickered. “You should say that to his face. I bet he’ll go beet red.”

“I will. Those two can’t leaf each other alone for one second.”

“I think you’ve gotten to the root of the problem.”

The two began to laugh harder as they continued making bad puns. Minutes later they were in hysterics on the floor and people were starting to stare. Megavolt was the first to recover.

“Y’know maybe this vacation is what I need,” he said. “I forgot how relaxing it can be to take a break from the whole crime-hiding-prison cycle.”

“But that’s part of the fun of being a villain! It’s all just part of the game!”

“It’s a game to you it’s just life to me. I never really got to have a normal life, with my own house, my own job my own money,” Megavolt said. Suddenly his eyes widened. “Oh shit!”

Quackerjack looked up. “What is it?”

“If we’re gonna hide that means we need to lay low for a while. We’re probably gonna need to actually get a place to sleep and food and stuff without committing any serious crimes.”

Quackerjack tilted his head. “But pickpocketing and stealing from purses isn’t a major crime is it? It’s not even really a crime if we can get away with it.”

The two looked around them at women decked out in fancy jewelry and men with nice wristwatches, and designer handbags and backpacks left practically unattended on nearby chairs.

Megavolt smiled. “I think you’re right Quacky. That wouldn’t draw too much attention.”

…

A couple dozen feet below the boat, in a large bubble of air within the water, Liquidator led Bushroot across the bay’s floor.

“Want to travel while remaining unseen?” Liquidator said. “Try going underwater! It may not be the most popular method of travel, but it certainly has a few perks!”

“It does,” Bushroot looked up at the shadow of the boat above them. “Though I can’t say I’d mind having a ride.”

“You want a ride? Say no more!” Liquidator dropped into a puddle. After sliding underneath Bushroot’s feet, he reformed, bringing Bushroot up with him in his arms. “The Liquidator is happy to allow you to ride me any time, free of charge!”

“Oh Buddy, such a gentleman,” Bushroot said with a small laugh. “Thanks.”

“Well it is exactly what you wanted isn’t it? You know you can just ask for things directly right? I don’t sell everything, favors for my partner in crime will never come with a price!”

“Oh of course I know that,” Bushroot said. “I wasn’t trying to ask for that exactly I was just…” he sighed. “Nevermind. I appreciate it Buddy.”

“No, no, no, if you have a complaint with my services I want to hear it!” Liquidator insisted.

“It’s not a complaint with anything about you! It’s just w-well, it bugs me a bit that those two get to be up there, and we have to hide away down here.”

“And what’s wrong with being down here?” Liquidator sound offended, but it was hard to tell if it was genuine or just for show. “Do you not enjoy spending some alone time with your favorite puddle puppy?”

“No, no, that’s not it!” Bushroot pulled himself closer to Liquidator. “It’s not that-that I don’t enjoy spending alone time with you. B-but sometimes I miss… being around o-other people.” He shot a quick glance at his own body. “Because I’m not… normal.”

Liquidator tilted his head. “Would you say that this method of travel is normal?”

“No.”

“But look around you,” Liquidator gestured to the water around them. Above them the light could seen shining on the water's surface, and around them fish and underwater plants were visible. “I don’t know about you but I think this is a pretty nice view.”

“Yeah…”

“Do you think I’m normal?”

“Well, y-you-”

“Of course I’m not!” Liquidator interrupted. “But you like me don’t you?”

“Y-Yes! I do! Of course I like you!”

“Well then, not to sound cliche, but being normal is very overrated! The people up there are missing out on wonderful and fascinating things like you and me, though they still get to deal with Megavolt and Quackerjack.” Liquidator smirked. “And if you ask me, those two, while I enjoy their company, can be trouble. Sanity-wise their normality is a bit questionable.”

Bushroot chuckled. “Well, you can say that again. They are a bit much to deal with.”

“Besides Reggie, the reason we need to hide isn’t entirely to do with being normal. It’s partly to do with the fact that we’re criminals.”

“Oh yeah. I kinda forgot.”

“You may forget, unfortunately, the law enforcement does not,” Liquidator said. “But all that aside, is it really that bad to be stuck down here with me?”

“No. I will admit, I’ve never been able to see underwater plants this close. So that kinda nice.”

“See! I told you this method of travel has its perks.”

“Uh, Buddy?”

“Yes?” Liquidator purred.

“Did you call yourself ‘puddle puppy’ earlier?”

“Uhh…” Liquidator gave a rare embarrassed smile. “I was looking for alliteration and that just… came out.”

“Can I call you that?” Bushroot asked with a grin.

Liquidator laughed. “Absolutely not! You know our toy-enthused friend or either of those pesky masked mallards would never let me hear the end of it if you said that in front of one of them.”

“What about when we’re alone?”

“The answer is still no!”

“Aw c’mon…”

Liquidator let out a sigh, though his smile had not disappeared. “Okay, maybe occasionally, when we’re completely alone. But be careful Reggie, if you want to get into the embarrassing pet names game. I’ve been playing it much longer than you have.”

Bushroot began to turn pink. “Ok! I understand! I’ll keep that in mind.”

[abnormalpsychology]

The Bully (part one)

[HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! Ya boi is excited bc I’m uploading my first-ever fanfic!! @joshua-rush-fanpage I hope you like it! This is part of the Valentines Day Friendom Gift Exchange. I wrote quite a lot more than I expected to, so the tag #myfanfic on here will be where you can find the rest uploaded later today. Sorry about the spacing errors— I originally wrote this in a google doc and Tumblr was being weird when I tried to fix them. I really really hope you like it! The first part is utter shit as a warning but it gets better!!! Hopefully I write more stuff soon, but here’s a little GHC to warm your hearts for now. I can’t believe I’m leaving a long, shitty, Wattpad-ass Author’s Note for the whole world to see but here we fuckin’ are. I also did not think I was the Soulmate AU type, but ALSO here we fuckin’ are. Meme mutuals please don’t think I’m lame I PROMISE IM COOL UwU. Have a lovely day even if you don’t read anything besides my ramblings. Thanks for making a community where I feel brave enough to finally post some writing I’ve worked hard on. I’m very grateful. <3 @swingsetboys Thanks so much for arranging this.]

Kids normally started thinking about their soulmates and deciphering their marks once they got their first crush, but Cyrus Goodman was different. He’d been worried about love all of his life, and the more he thought, the less sense it made. Trusting fate was generally put forward as the best way to deal with soulmate-related issues, at least before you met them, but Cyrus was finding that trusting fate was remarkably more difficult than all of the online articles and books in his parents’ offices made it sound. He wondered sometimes if he maybe was the universe’s first-ever mistake, a legendarily big screw-up, and this was a concern that was difficult to express without simultaneously concerning everyone else around him.

Cyrus’ mark was in what he had decided was the worst possible place it could be— his back. Two solid pitch-black handprints were indented into his skin so he had to twist around in the mirror to even glimpse the peculiar birthmark, like a two-year-old’s art project smushed across his skin or a crude frat party drawing etched on during a hangover was supposed represent his hope for the future and the person he was supposed to love more than anything. He’d always felt weird about it. The question that was tied most to it, the great white whale, the million-dollar-Jeopardy one, was what the situation could possibly be that would cause the mark to light up, to fill with color, when it made contact with his future spouse’s skin.

They’re gonna... push me? It was still, after years of contemplation and stomachaches, the best theory he had. The first way the person he was supposed to find eternal happiness with was by them trying to hurt him. That sure didn’t sound like love to him.

How would he make them angry? What would he do wrong?

The thought was his shadow, and the more he thought about it, the more confused he was. He didn’t want to make them angry, though! He wanted the person he was destined to spend the rest of his days with to like him right off the bat. He wanted the happy ending that everyone got.

“It’s fate,” Buffy had said and shrugged at their final summer sleepover before seventh grade began. “I mean, you can’t do anything to change it, Cy. I’m pretty sure you can’t fool the system by covering it with a tattoo. Since you always try to be as nice as possible anyway, I think you’re doing all you can.”

“Yeah.” He squinted. Maybe I’m just not good enough at being nice.

Buffy rolled her eyes, seeing through his words. “Cyrus. You really need to stop forgetting how cool you are. It’s annoying.”

“Thanks, Buffy, I just hope my soulmate understands my annoying… ness.”

“That was a joke—“

He gasped, shooting up with wide eyes. “What if I annoy them too much and that’s why they push me? What if I’m the one who ruins it?”

“Cyrus, I’m fairly certain that you would never be destined to spend your life with a total jerk. You may be weird, but that’s why soulmates love us, dummy. That’s why we love you.”

The two exchanged a smile, and Buffy reached around to squeeze his hand with her comforting smile.

“You’ll know when you see them anyway, because that’s like the whole thing. So… I don’t know. Maybe the push will be an accident or something. If it helps, I’ll personally remove the toenails if anyone who messes with you.”

“Well, I think,” Andi interjected like the voice of God from above, staring at the pair from her position of power on Cyrus’ couch. “You should stop worrying about something completely inevitable. It’s coming, like it or not.”

The boy let out a yelp and rubbed furiously at the goosebumps blooming on his skinny arms. “You didn’t have to phrase it like that, Andi!”

“Seriously,” Buffy agreed, eyes wide and unfocused. “Yikes.”

“It shouldn’t be scary. You two should really trust yourselves more. Future us will all make good decisions, I’m sure of it. Mostly. Probably.”

She leaned over to look down at her two best friends, reduced to frightened messes at the thought of someone who loved them, and deeply did not understand.

“I trust future Andi, at least. You two are weird.”

She stuck a bookmark made of old newspapers into the John Green book she was skimming, one of Bex’s favorites. She’d explained earlier about how since her older sister would be coming to visit her for the first time in practically forever, she had better know something about what she liked. Although from her various annoyed growls that echoed from above every once in a while, her friends could tell Andi’s tastes maybe differed from the latter’s.

“Real life isn’t that dramatic! Certainly isn’t as dramatic as this Augustus”—she gesticulated to the paperback copy—“thinks it is! What’s even going on in this book?”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, setting the book down by the lamp.

“Yeah, whatever.” Buffy turned to look doubtfully over her left shoulder at her other best friend, from the spot on the calming maroon carpet where Cyrus was French-braiding her curls. “If you think all this soulmate crap will be totally drama-free, all relaxation and games, Andi, you’re kidding yourself. And it’s middle school.”

“You might want to rethink your position here,” agreed Cyrus, twirling a lock dastardly between his fingers.

A beeping sound came from the kitchen as butter filled the warm air, clashing with the rosy scent of the aromatherapy stuff Celia insisted on spraying everywhere before anyone else entered the house, even though it was just Buffy and Cyrus. They’re very well-behaved, Andi would always say, even though one was now swatting like a kitten at the other. True friendship.

“Stop that! Grow your own facial hair so you can stop using mine!”

“Low blow,” Andi commented.

“Never!” He fell backwards onto the carpet with a grunt as she attacked him with her fringe scarf, smacking her opponent with swift malice. Andi got up to go get their popcorn from the microwave, hopping easily over the destructive swarm of thrashing limbs on her floor.

The two broke apart, close to the door now. Like wrestlers, the kids sprinted to either corner of the room.

“Every time! This is why I don’t let you braid my hair, Cyrus!”

“You underestimate me! Now I have a secret weapon!”

A shadow rushed forward and cackled menacingly, a beautifully stitched pillow in shades of pink and red held aloft to decimate his friend.

“No! Bad Cyrus!” Andi scolded from the kitchen. “I made that for Bex!”

“This isn’t a Western!” Buffy yelled, hands up in surrender. “You aren’t going to tie Andi to the train tracks, no more!”

Cyrus pouted mutely, savoring the power, then conceded mercifully. “Ohhh-kay.”

“Maybe that’s why your soulmate will push you,” Buffy laughed. “You attack them, viciously, in a war of pillows.”

His face fell again, the weight of worry and insecurities returning instantly.

“Dammit.” Buffy sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Maybe I will... I’d demolish them, anyway.”

The three collapsed onto the couch together once Andi returned, mutely chewing their popcorn, their feathery Cold War forgotten. They could still hear cicadas outside. It didn’t quite feel like school yet, and something about that made the night seem more important, more meaningful, and made them all the more grateful for the other people who they felt like they could tell anything.

“Soulmates are weird to think about, though,” Andi added. “I mean, it’s not something you can teach in school or anything. How one person is made for another. I think it’s pretty crazy. Although I bet Augustus and Hazel would disagree.”

“Yeah, love’s simple until you think about— like— what if they die before you meet them?” Cyrus said, the years’ worth of anxiety seeping into his words. “Assuming it isn’t a fate thing. What if you’re the first one to prove it wrong? Or… you don’t know if you like that type of person?”

“Well,” Buffy chimed in, shrugging. “I mean, people always do, so…”

The trio fell quiet.

“Like soulmates or not, we can agree the marks are freaky as hell?”

“Absolutely.”

“At least you don’t have your mark in as weird a place as me.”

“Buffs, yours is on your hand. That’s not that weird.” Cyrus reached over her back to lightly touch the white splash of color across her right palm, and she jerked it away fast as if she was scared of it going off like a bomb. “High-fives happen all the time.”

“I know, but why would future me let anyone touch my hand? That’s not allowed!” She shivered dramatically. “Ugh. Can you imagine me all… stupid and love-struck? That would be remarkably awful.”

“Middle school,” Cyrus said, nodding sagely. “It changes all who experience it.”

“Well,” Andi whispered, suddenly solemn. “I guess we’ll find out if it changes us too.”

“Guess we gotta trust that the Future Good Hair Trio will make good choices. Soulmates or otherwise.”

The three looked around.

“At least we’ll have each other. No matter who comes, we’ll at least have each other.”

[fighterfortheforgotten]

PINOF Through the Ages

ah, November, that special time of year between halloween and christmas where i can buy “fun sized” (read “thumb sized”) chocolate bars and tinsel in the same aisle at walmart…

it’s also that time of year where members of the phandom, young and old, come together and collectively binge watch all the PINOF videos in preparation for the newest installment, as we wait with bated breath for what fresh hell we’re gonna be hit with this year.

today, i would like to share with you my observations of PINOF Through The Years, as we embark on the fucking trip that is sure to be PINOF 9…

Phil is not on fire (25 October 2009)

- can you IMAGINE what the hell Phil’s parents and/or brother must’ve thought when they were filming that/saw it for the first time?! Phil brings home this random kid he found in a train station and they start giggling like actual 12 year olds and wandering round the house talking about The Shining, using the exercise equipment Phil has probably never stepped foot on in his life, and drawing on their faces in sharpie? i can fucking HEAR Kath saying “Phil…honey…are you on the drugs?” and Martyn cackling like a lunatic in the background at his brother and his weird friend….

- Dan is trying so. damn. hard. not to laugh throughout the entire video.

- Speaking of Dan, even back then he was a sassy, cocky lil shit… “every animal makes that noise with you…” “wow Phil, i bet they’re all so glad they can see the diagram…” “no, okay, Phil has really crappy GHDs that don’t even work…they don’t even work…they are Poundland GHDs.”

- everyone always talks about The Tackle™ at the end of the video, but not NEARLY enough people talk about the lil smirk Phil gives the camera just before it…like, seriously?! that’s a “haha, here goes nothing!” kinda smirk. thats a “lol watch this!” kinda smirk. thats a “give the people what they want” kinda smirk…im just sayin’…

Phil is not on fire 2 (29 May 2010)

- okay, first of all, Dan…sweetheart…did you borrow that cardigan from your mum?

- Dan: “if you could choose which surname you had, what would be your decision?” Phil: “…umm…” *almost imperceptible but still definitely there jumpcut* Phil: “Striker!”….yeah, yeah, yeah, alright, everyone knows that Phil really said “yours” in an incredibly sheepish and embarrassed voice to Dan that made him go “awwww!….you’re cutting that out…”, but lets appreciate the editing skills it took to make the cut so completely (almost) seamless….

- oh. my. GOD! there is an ENTIRE post JUST about the microwave moment, but i have to reiterate it again for those who have recently entered this hellscape: imagine you are Phil Lester, a 23 year old adult with an ENGLISH LANGUAGE DEGREE, and in comes this adorable 18 year old twink trying to tell you that “microwave” is a fucking onomatopoeia! if i was Phil, THIS would be the moment i’d never let Dan live down. fuck “hello internet”, if he ever pissed me off i’d just be like “yeah, well, at least i know microwave isn’t a fucking onomatopoeia…” and walk away. argument done, you win every time.

- and that being said, again, lets appreciate how much we can learn from the facial expressions of Philip Michael Lester. in that moment, the look he gives Dan is pure “are you fucking serious…?” it is incredulity in a nutshell. it is shock and fondness and “oh my god you are such a twat…”. if there were a dictionary of facial expressions, Phil’s face at the moment Dan says fucking microwave is his favourite onomatopoeia would be the one next to the definition of “wtf?”

Phil is not on fire 3 (1 November 2011)

- 2011 was, by far, the WORST year for Dan and Phil’s hair. tragic. absolutely tragic…

- wow, Dan was right, every animal DOES make the same noise to Phil, including horrific genetic hybrids of land and sea mammals…

- Dan’s ability to almost unhinge his jaw is terrifying…and i’m sure has played a part in lots of phanfic that i’m definitely not going to look for ever…

- okay, seriously guys?! the word is vagina. say it with me: vagina. come on! all together now! it’s not a *awkward silence and weird hand gesture*, it’s not a “birth area", it’s just a vagina…for someone who knows so much about placenta, it strikes me as odd that Dan can’t say the word vagina out loud…

- i’ve never heard anyone giggle as much as Dan does in this video…

Phil is not on fire 4 (12 September 2012)

- the hair is better this year…slightly…

- whoever decided that those face mask things were a good idea needs to be buried alive…the way they look when they move is so horrifying, it gives me nightmares.

- the “gu-hoy!” noise Dan makes in this video (ts 3:21 if you’re at all interested) is my text alert on my phone and it makes me panic every time i watch it because im like “wtf is someone texting me for at 11:53 pm?!” but then i realize it’s just the video and that i’m actually still very alone and have no friends…

- (bloopers bonus!) petition to have 2012 be known in the phandom as, ‘The Year Dan Was Finally Comfortable With The Word Vagina’. that’s all it was guys! he learned a new word and just wanted to show how broad his vocabulary had become!

Phil is not on fire 5 (22 November 2013)

- and right off the bat we’re affronted again by the fact that Dan and Phil have zero concept of how female anatomy works….

- this is probably the most uneventful pinof in the entire series.

Phil is not on fire 6 (6 November 2014)

- to return to the hair discourse, i firmly maintain that 2014 was the best year for their haircuts/styles.

- Phil has no concept of what a sassy face is…

- #StopPhil201X needs to just be a recurring thing every year…

- that poor, poor snake…

- petition for Dan to sing the national anthem at every tour stop in 2018

- the idea of Dan trying to carry on the legacy of Phil Is Not On Fire after Phil’s death is so damn heartbreaking to me…i need a minute

- my lil demon soul is convinced that Phil was doing *something* to Dan’s neck when they both tried to fit through that sweater…i mean, look at his face when he laughs and says “stop". seriously?!

- something about Dan with his fringe swapped, on the wrong side of the bed, and wearing Phil’s shirt makes me feel almost uncomfortable, but in a way that i’m not entirely sure how to process…

- (bloopers bonus!) to reiterate! every animal does, in fact, make the same noise to Phil. this has now been confirmed 3 times.

- (bloopers bonus!) the amount of pleasure Phil is able to derive from any mention of Hello Internet warms the deepest recesses of my soul like the light of the sun after a 1000 year winter.

Phil is not on fire 7 (29 November 2015)

- uh, excuse me? do not drag my country in such a way. Canada is indeed real. it’s where maple syrup comes from. as someone who enjoys the simplicity of a good pancake, i expected better from you Mr. Philip.

- i feel so bad for their neighbours during the stress mushroom tug of war…like, can you imagine what those poor people must’ve thought of them? i’d love to interview their neighbours one day…better yet, their neighbours should write a book: “I Lived Next To YouTubers For 5 Years: The Adventure" and just have it be a chronicle of every weird thing they ever witnessed/encountered.

- with every passing year, Dan’s knowledge of fanfiction tropes and writing styles becomes increasingly disturbing…hide the smut everyone Daniel Howell is coming for it.

- Phil! with the puns! honestly Dan, how do you put up with this man?

- (bloopers bonus!) the way dans voice changes when he grabs Phils underwear and is just ENTHRALLED with the fact that he’s colour coordinates his boxers to his bedsheets is probably the single most disgusting thing i have ever witnessed in my entire life…i mean, i love it, but why are you SO EXTRA?!

Phil is not on fire 8 (29 November 2016)

- NOTHING in the animal or cutlery kingdoms should be born or created in the way Phil describes the birthing process of a spork!

- okay. OKAY! i love the fringes, i really do. i’m a fringe fan from way back, but the hair pushed back thing they get going on sometimes? i can get on board with that.

- aaaannd at 1:57 into pinof 8, the little game i like to play called “Phan or Viktuuri" had all of its lines blurred so far beyond recognition i’m not even sure which universe i’m living in anymore.

- the PSA for “staying hydrated"…such a harmless, and beautiful message about health and self care that the phandom managed to turn into a sex meme…but no one is surprised by that now, are they?

- i need to know why that stock photo exists in the first place…also, why the hell was Phil wearing sandals in November?

- (bloopers bonus!) Phil: “phil is not on fire 8! this time its…what the tagline?” the phandom: “…gayer than ever?” Dan: “full of regrets.” the phandom: “…i mean I GUESS!!!”

- (bloopers bonus!) everything about this blooper reel just confirms even more solidly that Dan is the biggest Phil fan in the world. i’m not gonna wax poetic about the compliments or the comparisons to sunshine or anything else, because at this point is it really necessary? no. i thought not.

and there we have it. just in time for PINOF 9 to be released, a full (and much more in depth than intended) recap of the saga thus far…wake me up when Gamingmas starts, cuz after this video comes out, i’m gonna need a solid week of sleep

[pantheonofdiscord]

Notebooks - 1.5k, 13x05 coda, angst, MCD (But there’s a happy ending. Just trust me.)

"Dean. Every notebook, on this particular shelf, tells a version of how you die."

But which one's right?

#18

Jack, the nephilim, power beyond anything the Earth has ever seen, has both Winchesters suspended in mid-air. Rings of glowing, golden energy ripple out from his raised hand. They match his eyes.

The Devil is behind him, whispering.

“All they ever wanted was to use you, Jack. Both of them. They never cared about you. They feared you. They could never understand.”

Jack is uncertain, shaking. His eyes dart away.

His hold is tight, and Sam struggles to speak. “Don’t trust him, Jack! He’s lying to you – that’s what he does. He’s the one who wants to use you, not us.”

“Jack, listen to me,” Dean tries, voice straining with effort. “Your mom didn’t want this. Cas doesn’t want this. You’ve got people who care about you, people who –”

“These boys don’t know how to care for anyone but themselves,” Lucifer hisses. “Think of what they’ve done to you. Think of what they’ve put you through. I’ve never harmed you, Jack. I would never harm you.”

Jack only looks more torn. It’s no longer just him that’s shaking, it’s the very ground beneath his feet. The towering trees, every blade of grass – it all trembles, violently, on the verge of implosion. Jack’s eyes widen in fear. Fear of himself, of what he can do.

Then, as ever, the fatal Winchester mistake: Dean takes advantage of Jack’s distraction, fighting against the iron grip of power to reach for the holy oil.

“NO,” Jack cries, his hand moving once in a knee-jerk twitch.

Dean Winchester’s neck snaps.

#94

“I’m tellin’ ya, Cas, it’s a terrible sandwich.”

“Sam likes it.”

The old, black car is cruising down a long stretch of blacktop. The sky is a spotty canvas of pearl-grey and cerulean, the sun dipping in and out as the winds blow.

“Yeah well, that’s Sam for you. Peanut butter and banana, though? What the hell has he been teaching you? I mean, I know you’re rockin’ the real, human taste buds again, but there’s no need to punish yourself.”

“I’m not!” Castiel says, chin jutting forward, defiant. “I happen to like peanut butter. And I’ve discovered that I like bananas, too.”

“Yeah, I know you do,” Dean says back, with a suggestive wiggle to his eyebrows.

Castiel rolls his eyes, but his cheeks go a little pink.

Dean’s tint as well, and he looks back out the front window, clearing his throat. “So, um, anyway,” he starts, voice much quieter. “Sam was gonna head out this afternoon, said something about checking out this museum event thing in Wichita.”

“Um, yes, he mentioned,” Castiel says, also staring through the windshield with rather undue concentration.

“Yeah, well, uh. . . we’ve.” Dean swallows visibly. “He – he was gonna grab a motel, stay over. Guess. . . we’ve got the bunker to ourselves tonight.”

Castiel nods, slowly. “I suppose so.”

Dean’s breathing seems shallow, his shoulders rising and falling rapidly, but his eyes are bright. “Yeah. That’s. . . yeah.” A slow grin crinkles the corners of his eyes.

Finally turning in his seat, Castiel answers with a smile of his own. It fades after a moment. “When are we going to tell him?” he asks quietly.

“Soon,” Dean says quickly, swallowing again. “I want to. But, y’know. . .”

“Yeah. I know.”

“Besides,” Dean says, turning sideways as the cheeky grin returns to his face. “The sneakin’ around thing’s kinda fun, right?”

Castiel rolls his eyes again, but nods. “Yes, it is, actually.” His smile is wide, his eyes are warm.

They’re so caught up in staring at one another, neither of them notice the F-150 barreling towards the intersection.

It broadsides them at 71 miles per hour.

Castiel wakes up in a hospital bed two and a half weeks later.

Dean Winchester was pronounced D.O.A.

#177

The three men stand shoulder-to-shoulder on a black hilltop, the grass crispy, burnt away, curling.

“What we wanted, right?” Sam says softly, gaze tracing the horizon, fire reflected in his eyes.

Dean nods. “Yep. Blaze of glory.”  

“It does seem very. . . us,” Castiel agrees. He’s almost smiling. Almost.

Bright red lightning spikes, mere feet away, but none of them flinch.

The air is smoky-grey, and the sky itself is cracked with yellow-orange fissures – hundreds of them, thousands, more. A million different worlds, all on the brink of collapse.

A house of cards.

“It’s worth it,” Castiel says, resolute as stone. “This, us, here. It’s worth it.”

“Ain’t no place I’d rather be,” Dean says.

Sam shakes his head, but he smiles. “And it’ll work, right?”

“Yes. It’ll work.” Castiel says firmly.

“Alright, then.” Keeping his eyes forward, Dean reaches out with his left hand and grasps his brother’s shoulder. His other hand sneaks out blindly to his right until it finds Castiel’s. Their fingers weave together. “See ya on the other side, fellas.”

Dean Winchester squeezes Castiel’s hand, tight, before the spell takes effect and he ceases to be.

#233

The wendigo creeps silently through the tangled underbrush, unseen by both brothers. Dean holds the flare gun up, at the ready, but his grip is laxer than it should be. His knuckles have grown knobby with arthritis.

“Sam,” he hisses into the darkness, squinting through the cheap, drugstore glasses that Castiel had insisted he start wearing.

Sam is, in fact, more than fifty feet to the north, and his good ear is turned away.

So he doesn’t hear the light, barely-there rustle of the wendigo, as it takes its final, leaping strides towards Dean.

Sam does hear its shriek though, mingled with Dean’s scream of pain.

He’s already almost gone by the time Sam reaches him. Blood bubbles from his lips and practically floods from the tears in his chest.

“Dean, Dean, no, hang on, hang on, I’ll get you help,” Sam babbles.

“S’okay, Sammy,” Dean chokes. “Jus’ too slow. Gettin’ too slow now.”

“Shut up. You’re gonna be fine, Dean.”

With the last of his failing strength, Dean reaches out a hand, fisting it in Sam’s jacket. “C-Cas. Sammy, you gotta tell ‘im. You gotta. . . Cas.” His voice trails off, his eyes starting to drift closed.

“Damn it, Dean, stay with me. And Cas knows, man. He knows.” Tears start to drip down Sam’s cheeks. “God, you idiots. Everybody knows.”

“No –” A wracking cough sends Dean’s body seizing. “No, Sam, promise. Promise you’ll –”

Sam shakes his head, almost blind now by his tears. “I’ll tell him. I promise, Dean, I promise.”

“S-Sammy. . .”

Dean Winchester dies a hunter’s death, at age fifty-nine.

#302

Castiel has hidden the car keys again.

“Hey, Cas? Did you check the table in the hall?”

“Twice, Dean,” Castiel says, infinitely patient, as always.

But today he’s sad as well.

“Damnit, I probably left them on the nightstand again,” Dean grumbles, and turns a rueful eye up the staircase. “Man, why the hell didn’t we get a bungalow? All these damn stairs.”

He grips one hand on the stair railing and pulls his cane level with his hip, but Castiel stops him with a gentle hand to the shoulder. “You’re not supposed to be driving anymore anyway, Dean,” he chastises with a fond smile. He’s let his vessel age, but his eyes are as clear and bright as they’d ever been.

“I wanna go get a burger, Cas.”

Castiel shakes his head. “You’re not supposed to be eating burgers anymore, either.”

Dean rolls his eyes, but turns around. “Well damnit, Cas, what the hell am I allowed to do now?”

Smiling softly, Castiel answers by leaning in and brushing their lips together. Dean hums a little, so Castiel brings his worn and weathered hands up to rasp through the prickly, grey stubble on Dean’s cheeks.

“Damn, Cas,” Dean murmurs, leaning away. “Unless you got a bottle of those magic blue pills hiding somewhere, I think at least one of us is gonna be disappointed, here.”

“Never,” Castiel says, eyes holding Dean’s with a ferocity rarely seen nowadays. “Just sit with me?”

The day is misty and grey, but in a quiet, peaceful kind of way. The two of them sit on the battered living room couch all afternoon, arms intertwined and a blanket draped over their knees.

Hours later, as the sky starts to darken, Dean stands, planning to start on dinner.

But he only makes it halfway up, then his hand flies to his chest, and he collapses back down.

He gasps, face contorting in pain, and Castiel’s eyes fill with tears.

“I’ll be right there, Dean,” he says, turning on the sofa and bringing his hands up once again to cup Dean’s face. He draws his thumbs across Dean’s cheeks until his eyes open. “You won’t be alone, I’ll be there with you. I’m right behind you, I swear it, Dean.”

Dean’s gasping, his heart thudding out of rhythm, but he meets Castiel’s gaze and he nods.

There’s no fear in his eyes.

Dean Winchester dies of a heart attack, and Castiel follows right after him.

//

Billie slides one delicately manicured hand along the cover of the book.

There are hundreds of notebooks, hundreds of ways Dean Winchester’s story ends.

Hundreds of choices, important choices, that only he can make. And everything depends on him.

Time was, Billie couldn’t imagine betting on a Winchester.

But she closes her eyes and peers through the Veil. She sees a dark alleyway, lit by a neon cross and the yellowy bulb of a pay phone. She sees Dean, walking on shaky feet, straight into Castiel’s waiting arms.

Maybe. Maybe.

Alright, she thinks. I’ll take that action.

[r5h]

Moving On—Interlude IV: Voodoo Child

AO3 LINK

PREVIOUS CHAPTER

NEXT CHAPTER (not out yet!)

Yet again, props to @hecallsmehischild​ because if not for her encouragement, this chapter would have waited even longer.

“Let me get this straight,” Lance said, after a long pause.

Arthur glanced up at him from his supine position on the creeper, his legs under the hood of Lance's tow truck. “Take your time,” he said. “And I, um, don't mean that in a condescending way, I just mean that it is honestly a lot to take in, so—��

“Stop being a dingus, Art. You didn't sound condescending.”

Arthur grunted and pulled himself entirely underneath. That was how he'd related his long, crazy story, once Lance had finally managed to cajole him into relaying it. He'd been under Lance's truck, devoutly fixing the car, and explaining what had happened like it was some kind of idle gossip about celebrities, or hair, or something.

“So, Lew's a ghost, tried to kill you because he thought you killed him, but now he knows about that demon thing that got in your arm, so he doesn't try to kill you—as often. Vivi can remember Lew except she still doesn't. And her dog can talk. And isn't a dog.”

“That's the essentials, yeah.”

It wasn't even like when Arthur had told him about the cave. He'd been sobbing then, still lying on the hospital bed, curling up instinctively and without enough arms to hold himself.

Gritting his back teeth, Lance stepped forward and leaned on the truck. “Art?” he asked. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Why?”

Offhand. Disinterested.

“Why? What the—God's name—Christ, are you kidding?” After some aggressive yanks at his mustache, Lance crouched down, looking Arthur in the tops of his eyes. “You didn't exactly describe a trip to the spa there, kiddo!”

“Oh, I see what you mean. It's just....” Arthur glanced at him. “Everyone made it out fine. So I'm fine.” His gaze returned to the car above him.

“For real?” Lance gestured futilely, since Arthur wasn't looking at that moment. “How about your prosthetic? It's looking beat-up. Sounds like it's taken some abuse the past forty-eight hours.”

He waited, but Arthur seemed content to let the silence draw out. Eventually, Lance continued, “Don't you wanna take it into, y'know, the shop? Before it breaks on you?”

“It can take more abuse. I built it pretty strong.”

Arthur's mouth moved, and the rest of his body kept working, and they might as well have belonged to two different people. The answer was dispassionate—no, automatic. He'd been stockpiling answers like this.

“What about your van? That's still not fixed, and it's your car.” Lance winced as he glanced once more at Arthur's van, its insides still blackened and melted. “How are you gonna go pick up that Surf's Up Pizza you like? You know they ain't delivering any time soon, no matter how well you tip 'em.”

“Eh. You know it's not good for me.”

“Art, when you get to my age, you're gonna find out that sometimes terrible pizza is the best thing for you.” Lance blinked a few imes as an unhappy hypothesis occurred to him. “Besides, your friend's not gonna be able to go on cases without a working vehicle, either.”

Arthur didn't respond immediately, and when he did, the response didn't sound as rehearsed. “That's a good point, actually. I didn't think of that.”

Lance sighed. Everyone made it out fine. It seemed Arthur hadn't been counting one crucial person among 'everyone'.

Scratching his hair, Lance trudged back not to his office, but to the second floor stairs leading to where he lived, above the shop. Sure, the oil smells could be bad sometimes, but after a while they just started smelling like home.

It wasn't a large home—just a hallway with rooms hanging off like grapes. Lance's room was at the end, past the living room, kitchen/dining room, bathroom... Art's old room.

The door was closed, and his hand rose to the knob for a second—but then he let it fall. It hadn't really changed much since the last time he saw it, now that Arthur didn't live here anymore. Lance had forced him to find his own place once he'd reached eighteen and had, frankly, outgrown the room.

Pushing forward, he opened his own door, revealing a room even smaller than Arthur's: no one could accuse him of outgrowing the space. He crossed to the wardrobe and opened it. Then, he opened the second wardrobe within.

Lance stared at what hung behind the false wall; he squinted, clenched his jaw, and sighed; and then he closed the wall back up, climbed onto his bed, and lay there. He knew how this worked: the decision wasn't made yet, but it was coming, bit by bit. And once he was fully sure—

He closed his eyes, but still felt the deja vu. “It's gonna be like last time, huh?” he muttered.

“Heya there! How's my least favorite sister doing?”

Niav rolled her eyes, looking down at Lance from her doorway. “Do we really need to do this? Every time, doing this?”

“Aw, you know you're my favorite sister too.” Lance grinned up at Niav Kingsman, his only sister. “Now get down here so I can noogie ya.”

She did no such thing, but did step aside to allow him entry. “You're a bit overdressed,” she murmured with a little smile. “And what are you hiding back there?—and I use the word 'hiding' loosely.”

Indeed, Lance wore not his usual torn-sleeved white shirt and jeans, but instead a suit and tie. It was a special day, after all, for a special person. “Now where's the birthday boy?” he called out, holding a box half his own size behind his back.

Looking around, it wasn't what he'd expected. Obviously he'd been there before, so he knew that the couch would be there, on the left, facing the TV—and then a staircase on the right, on the hallway to the main living room, dining room, and kitchen—but where were the decorations? The stack of presents? (Or maybe he was thinking of Christmas—who knew.)

“Arthur!” called another voice, from the kitchen: this had to be Wayne, Niav's husband, making the cake. “Your uncle's here!”

After maybe half a minute, Arthur finally came down the steps and around the corner. “Hi, Uncle Lance,” he said, a little smile on his face.

“Oh, don't be so shy—” Lance dropped the box, letting it rattle on the floor, and rushed forward to grab Arthur in a bear hug. “Happy birthday, Arthur, and welcome to double digits!”

Arthur let out a little surprised cry as Lance picked him up, then a laugh that wasn't quite as little. “You too, Uncle Lance—wait, I mean—”

“Ah, I know what you mean, it's okay.” Lance released him, and looked up at his nephew. Up, he realized ruefully. “You've finally gotten taller than I have, huh? That's pretty rude of you, y'know....”

“Oh? Sorry—”

“I'm messing with ya, you smarty pants! Grow all you want!” Lance reached up and ruffled the unruly shock of orange-yellow hair that mirrored his own so closely. He wouldn't get too many more chances to ruffle like this, he knew, before the kid inevitably became a beanpole.

“So, what'd you guys get him?” Lance asked, grinning at his sister. “Come on, let's compare gifts. I bet my uncle gift is better, whatcha think?”

Niav groaned and rolled her eyes. “Ugh, uncle gifts.”

“No, not that kind of—look, it doesn't need batteries and it doesn't make loud noise, okay? I'm not that much of a rascal.” Lance backed up enough to grab his gift, then trotted forward, presenting it to his nephew. “I'm not gonna be here all day, so you should open this now.”

Arthur took off the bow, carefully so that the paper didn't rip as the adhesive came off. Then he untied the ribbons with similar caution.

“Jeez, did you raise him in a barn?” Lance whispered to Niav, as Arthur kept going. “Also, seriously, what'd you get him, while we're waiting for an hour. I don't wanna have gotten the same thing as you and made you look like a jackass. Where's the present?”

“Oh, well, the thing about that is....” After a moment, Niav smiled. “Let's just say it's not a physical present. We're taking him on a trip.”

“Good! No chance of overlap.” Lance winked, and then sniffed. “I smell... chocolate? I thought he didn't like chocolate.”

“Kid's gotta try new things, shortstuff.”

“Fair enough, I guess.”

They smiled at Arthur as, finally, he finished unwrapping the box without a single tear in the paper. “Oh, wow,” he said with a look of disbelief, looking at his gift. “What is this?”

“Well,” Lance said, stepping forward, “I've seen you always fiddling with spare parts when you're over at my shop, trying to make stuff. You're a smart kid, and I thought, what's a good gift for smart kids who like making stuff? But then I realized you wouldn't have anywhere to put a spare engine—” he laughed, because this joke was hilarious “—so here's the next best thing!”

Lance drew a finger along the name on the box: “Bionicle! It's like Legos except with joints and axles and motors and stuff, and you can make your own action figures, or vehicles, or whatever you want!” He pointed out a bunch of the examples on the box, and it seemed like Arthur's eyes were literally shining.

“Ooh.” Wayne had come in from the kitchen with oven mitts. “Arthur, now make sure you don't leave those out in the hallway where someone could step on them. Remember to be responsible.”

“Oh, okay,” Arthur said. The light in his eyes died away a bit.

“Shaddup, Wayne, you're ruining his birthday.” Lance put an arm around Arthur, squeezing him close. “So, what do you wanna do while I'm here? Build those action figures? Watch TV? Try booze?”

“Lance!” Niav blurted out.

“Kidding! But seriously, don't listen to these mopers—what do you wanna do, and we'll do it! I'm the fun-uncle. The funcle.”

Arthur hesitated, then leaned in close. “Could we watch,” he whispered, and then hesitated some more, and finally managed to hiss out, “wrestling?”

Lance wiggled his eyebrows. “That's pretty violent, kid. Sure you're up for it?”

Arthur blinked, then shied away. “No, you're right, I shouldn't—”

“I'm kidding, ya big goof! Come on, let's watch some wrestling! Where's the dang remote around here?”

“Lance,” Niav whined again, but Lance ignored her and grabbed the remote from the coffee table. In about half a minute, he found the wrestling channel, and broke into a grin when he saw who was on it.

“Sit down, kid!” he said, and Arthur did with barely restrained eagerness, and heavy rock and roll blasted out from the TV. “This is one of the greatest wrestling legends of all time you're looking at: Hulk Hogan! I'm so glad they got him back.”

“I didn't mean to take up your sweet time,” drawled the barely-tonal voice of Jimi Hendrix as Hogan postured in front of a roaring crowd. “I'll give it right back to ya one of these days.”

“He always wins, isn't that the great thing?” Lance said excitedly as Hogan approached his challenger. “No matter how tight a jam he's in, he always comes out ahead! And the crowd loves him!”

“Everyone loves him!” Arthur replied.

“Damn right they do!”

Lance walked up to the door and knocked three times, his other arm behind his back. After several seconds, it opened to reveal Wayne behind it. He looked forward, then looked down and started. “Oh, Lance! Didn't see you there. How have you been?”

“Pretty well,” Lance said. “Where's Art?”

Wayne frowned. “Why do you ask?”

“Well, I haven't even seen the kid since his birthday, it's been a couple months, and I was thinking I'd check in on how he's enjoying his uncle gift—”

Wayne flinched. Lance squinted, but continued on. “Anyway, I was also thinking, since he liked watching the wrestling so much... ta-dah!” With a flourish he revealed the tickets he'd had behind his back. “Two seats, next Saturday. Not exactly ringside, I don't have that kinda cash, but....”

Oh, now Wayne was definitely wincing. Lance shut up for a few seconds, and then, when Wayne wasn't talking, he said, “What's up with Art?”

“Well, the thing is... he's grounded.”

“Grounded?” Lance's eyebrows flew up his face. “He's a good kid! What'd he get grounded for?”

“Leaving a mess everywhere. It's all month, and that's the same time as your tickets... sorry you wasted the money.”

“Oh. Can I at least chat with—”

Lance tried to step forward, but Wayne held out an arm. It was actually higher than Lance's head, and he could have squeezed under it, but he stopped anyway. “Sorry,” Wayne said, “but he's grounded.”

Lance made a “tch” noise. “You guys are too hard on him, y'know that?”

Wayne sighed. “It's part of raising a responsible kid. You'd know that if you were a parent.”

“Maybe, maybe.... I hope he at least had fun on his birthday trip.”

The look on Wayne's face suggested that Lance had suddenly broken into Klingon, or something. “The birthday trip?” Lance added, prodding. “The one that he got for his birthday from you guys rather than, like, a computer game or something?”

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that. He had a blast. See you later.”

Without further ceremony, the door was closed in Lance's face. He almost sputtered with indignation, but took a deep breath and turned around instead, and started walking off their front steps back to his pickup. I only see the kid some of the time, they have to live with him—maybe they know something I don't?

But how bad a mess could one kid make, to get grounded?

And then Lance was grounded, too, because lost as thought as he was, he didn't notice he was walking straight into Wayne and Niav's trash cans. He stumbled to the ground as the trash can fell over, vomiting its contents onto the grass.

Lance grunted in indignation and pushed himself up; then he started picking up stuff from the ground, and putting it back into the trash can. One big bag with tomato sauce, one filled with paper, one box of Bionicles—

Lance stopped and stared. Then he took the box, which had been taped shut, and ripped it open. It was bulging in places, which were revealed to be where various creations on the inside pressed against the cardboard.

He squinted: these were really creative designs. Arthur had clearly put a lot of time into them. Who had thrown them out?

It had been another six months, the next time Lance knocked on that door. This time he wasn't alone.

Niav opened up, and first looked at the fellow next to Lance, and asked, “Who are you?” Then she noticed Lance, a bit further down, and her face broke into a smile. “Oh, hi, Lance!”

“Hi there! How's my least favorite sister doing?” Lance smiled. Well, his teeth were visible, at least.

“Ugh, this again,” Niav groaned.

“And since you asked, might I introduce my buddy Paul Irmand? We're drinking buddies after work.”

Paul nodded respectfully. “Good to meet you, Mrs. Kingsman. Might we come in?”

“What are you, a PI?” Niav asked it, and then giggled. “You know, because your initials....”

“Well, I will admit I'm dressed for the part,” Paul said, glancing down at his dress shirt, tie, and slacks—and the briefcase in his hand. “So people do tend to assume that. And you know what?” He winked. “They're right. P.I. the private eye.”

Niav laughed. “You're not here to see Arthur, are you? He's not back from school—”

“Nah, we're not here to see Arthur, yet.” Lance pushed past her into the house, and sprawled on the couch. “Can you get Wayne? We've got a yarn to spin, we know you'll both love it.”

String them along, he thought, feeling his shaking muscles and willing them to calm down. It was like he was filled with electricity, desperate for a chance to ground itself.

“Lance, is that your voice I hear?” said Wayne from the kitchen. He walked in wearing oven mitts. “There's a quiche in the oven, but it won't be ready for who is that?” he blurted, pointing his whole mitted hand at Paul.

Paul inclined his head. “Paul Irmand, PI. Profession and initials. Your wife loved that joke. May I sit down?” He'd been respectfully standing next to one of the chairs. Once Wayne nodded, he took a seat.

“Anyway,” Wayne said, “what's the visit for? It's a bit out of the blue.”

“Well, I thought I could introduce some of my favorite people to each other! Just never got the chance because, well, work.” Lance laughed and clapped Niav on the shoulder—she'd sat next to him on the sofa, with Wayne opposite the coffee table from Paul. “Not even my work so much as his! Do you know how many hours this guy puts in?”

“Hours and hours,” Paul answered, nodding solemnly. “This one case has been taking up a lot of my time, these past six months.”

“Right, right!” Lance said, waving his arm in vague recognition, as if he didn't immediately know what Paul was talking about. “That, uh, that kid, right?”

“The kid.” Paul frowned. “Someone gave me a tip that said they thought a kid they knew was being abused. He wasn't sure, and he said that in the best case scenario the child would be fine and he'd look like a fool. But he had to make sure. So he offered to pay full price for my services, or even more, but of course, I gave him a discount.”

“Ah, shouldn't do that, Paul! It's bad business!” Lance laughed again, a bit louder than necessary. “Anyway, tell em what happened.”

“What I did was, I set up a stakeout. Got some cameras going. All legal, though it's a bit hard to make sure sometimes—you've got to know the law quite thoroughly as a private eye. And, lady and gentlemen, I'm sorry to announce,” Paul said, his voice growing solemn, “that there was bad stuff going on in that household. Things no kid should go through.”

Niav shivered. “Oh, we would never do that to our Arthur.”

“Who said anything about Arthur?” Lance felt his facial expression blurring the line between grin and grimace.

“So what happened?” Wayne said, leaning forward. “Did you get the kid out?”

Paul shook his head. “Actually, that case is still ongoing. But I hope to get it resolved very soon. Would you like to see some of the photos?”

“Isn't that illegal or something?” Niav asked with an uneasy frown. “I don't think we should....”

“Oh, I insist.” With utterly calm motions—Lance had always admired his friend's cool head—Paul opened his briefcase, pulled out a folder, and opened it quite deliberately. Like Arthur with his present, Lance thought, and suppressed and uncalled-for laugh.

Finally, he pulled out the first photo. It was a very specific house.

Wayne stared at it for several seconds before comprehension started dawning in his eyes. “Wait a second. This is our house.”

Paul kept on pulling out pictures, taken surreptitiously through windows and open doors. A child with shockingly orange hair, sitting in his room for what seemed to be days at a time. That same child, crying in a corner of the living room, as Wayne taped up a box of his toys to throw out.

“And this one,” Paul said, pulling out the last photo, “is from when you two went on vacation and left him alone in the house over a long weekend.  Alone with no babysitter, and debatably enough food.”

He looked up at the two of them, as they stared motionless at the array of photographic evidence laid down on the coffee table. It was as if he'd been pulling out the head of Medusa, and they'd been turned to stone. “Did you know that it is illegal to leave a child alone for that long, and what the maximum prison sentence is?”

They didn't answer, and just continued gaping. For the first time, Paul's expression erred from one of respectful politeness—just a slight inclination of the eyebrows. “Did you even realize that what you were doing was wrong?”

Finally Niav found a voice. “But—but—are you kidding me!? This isn't abuse, this is—this is parenting, you jackass!” She snatched up the photos, as if to steal them—as if there weren't copies back at Paul's office. “This is teaching him to be a responsible kid!”

Lance found his arm shaking. “Responsible,” he repeated. “You neglect your kid and you call it responsible.” With difficulty, he took a deep breath. “Niav, you're my sister, and I used to love you. So here's my final act of brotherly consideration. We've made it easy for you.”

Paul withdrew another folder from his briefcase, this one labeled Legal Documents. “What we've brought,” Lance said, as Paul pulled out the documents in question, “are all the forms you need to sign to give up custody of Arthur to me. It'll take you five minutes, and the kid you clearly don't want is gonna be out of your life. You can get back to... cooking, or partying, or whatever the hell it is you do while you're neglecting him.”

Lance took another deep breath. “That's the easy way. The hard way is, we take this to the cops. We have a long court battle, which you're gonna lose, and you go to prison for a good long time. You know how most prisoners aren't fond of people who mess with kids?”

“You assholes!” Niav stood up, her face enraged. “You think you can just walk into my house and take my kid?”

She swung at Lance. This was a mistake.

Lance moved automatically, grabbing her arm and kicking her leg, slamming her down into the coffee table. “Give me another reason,” he hissed, pinning her back with his other arm, using leverage to keep her immobile even with his much lighter weight. “Give me another reason because Christ help me, I've been looking for one.”

Niav laughed without humor. “You think you'll be any better a parent than we are, short stuff?” She struggled under his grip, but he held firm. “Think you're any better at holding together a family after what happened with Vera, you midget hypocrite?”

Before Lance could react—or rather, before his body could, as Lance wasn't sure any conscious thought would be involved—he felt Paul's hand on his shoulder. “Don't, Lance,” he said firmly. “What you're doing here is self-defense. She attacked first, that's fine. If you take it any further... don't give her a leg to stand on in court. That's all she wants.”

Niav spat into the documents her face was pressed against.

Lance let her go. “So, what do you say, least favorite sister? How do you want to do this?”

The forms were signed by three o'clock, at which point the door creaked open.

“I'm home,” Arthur called out at half-volume, and then he saw the four of them seated around the coffee table. His eyes widened. The kid wasn't stupid, and the air here was so thick with tension you could crash a car into it. He knew something was wrong.

“Uncle Lance,” he mumbled. “What are you doing here? And who's he?”

Paul smiled, and crouched down to Arthur's eye level. “Paul Irmand. I'm a friend of Lance's. Nice to meet you.” He put his hand out, which Arthur shook uncertainly.

“So,” Arthur said, “what are you doing... here?” He almost swallowed the last word.

Lance felt himself in a similar predicament, with his words stuck in his throat. Breaking the news to his... to Niav, that had been one thing. How to break this to someone he cared about?

Unfortunately, he took too long. “We were talking, your uncle and I,” Niav said sweetly, “and we decided that you should live with him now. Because you're too much trouble around here.” Her sweetness was like one of those candies from urban legends about Halloween—a sweet with a razor blade hidden inside.

Arthur looked down, punctured. “Um... okay? Okay.”

Lance felt Paul's hand on his shoulder again. He didn't need the reminder. Provocation. “Arthur,” he said, “go to your room and gather all your things. I'll help you carry them out. Okay?”

Arthur nodded and walked, dumbly, to his room—like a robot, told to obey without really understanding the instruction. It had to be a lot to process.

Lance glared venom at his sister, who smiled back. “You're not even trying to hurt him anymore, are you?” he spat. “You don't even care that much about Art. You're just using the child as some kind of voodoo doll, because you know I care.”

Niav winked. “Have fun with family life, short stuff.”

By the time Lance was done seething, they'd gathered all of Arthur's things in a bunch of boxes Lance had brought, and he and Paul had hauled them to the bed of his pickup. Paul shook Arthur's hand again before leaving in his own car, leaving Lance and Arthur together.

Not for the first time, Lance wished he was taller. It was harder to physically comfort someone who, well, dwarfed him, but he gave the tightest hug he could to Arthur anyway. “Uncle Lance,” Arthur asked, not hugging back. “What are you doing?”

“Arthur, listen to me,” he said. “You're a genius. You're better than both of those scumbags. And you are gonna have a great life.”

“Um... okay?” Arthur awkwardly patted him on the back.

“And one more thing,” he said, reaching up to his car door. “Because the last time I tried this, it got messed up, so....”

He yanked open his car door. Inside was the box of Bionicles that had been in the trash. “Happy birthday, Art.”

Arthur froze for a few seconds. Then he ran forward and grabbed the box, and tore open the cardboard, and pulled out all the things he’d created. Clutching two of them, he looked up at Lance, tears forming in his eyes.

Arthur looked at the car underside, situated four inches from his face, and tried not to imagine what would happen if he licked it. Nevertheless, the taste and texture crawled onto his tongue, into his head. He scraped his tongue with his teeth, as if he'd actually done it.

You said I forgave you, and you were wrong. But you’ve said, over and over, that you were sorry. And now I think that’s wrong too.

He chuckled: the intrusive thoughts were getting so crowded up in his belfry, he'd need to institute some sort of number system like at the DMV. He kept working as Lewis's voice echoed in his head, pretending he didn't hear—like he'd pretended these past several days.

And I wish I knew how to show you that you don’t have to be sorry, that you deserve better. But if you’ve done anything this past year to hurt me, to hurt anyone? Then I forgive you.

“Why,” Arthur mouthed, as his raised arm sagged from the car.

Because... it hurts. You see your own hands, hurting the people you love…. I just want it to stop hurting.

That was the fun thing about replaying conversations in your head, over and over and over. You got to come up with the perfect comeback.

But you're wrong, he thought, watching Lewis reunite with his family through the lens of a car-bottom. You don't understand, because when your hands were gonna hurt them... you stopped it.

“Art?” said Lance's voice from somewhere behind and above him.

He lifted up his metal arm and examined it, noticing the scratches and scuffs with disinterest.

“Earth to Art, you awake?”

He blinked and, for just the space of a moment—the moment his eyes were closed—it turned fleshy, and dark green.

“Dammit, Art, are you listening or not? This is important!”

Arthur jumped, or at least he jumped as much as a prone man could. He's catching on.

It had been a few days since Arthur's confessions about Lewis's return, and Lance had looked increasingly troubled each day. Arthur could guess what was bothering him: Arthur himself. Goodness knew he'd been acting unfairly morose, and Lance would probably prefer having him around if he were more chipper.

“Come on, I know you can hear me.”

“Yeah, Lance?” he replied, injecting an emergency supply of energy into his voice. His eyes didn't waver from the car-guts above him, or the metal hand in front of them.

Whose car was this, even? Somewhere in the last few days, he'd lost count. Did a robotic arm on an assembly line keep track of which car it was working on? His certainly hadn't.

“Good, you can hear me. Well, I've got a job for you.”

“Really? Sure, let me—”

“But first, well, uh....” Arthur heard what sounded like Lance scratching his brow. “I've got a confession to make.”

“Oh? Neat!” He picked up a wrench and tried loosening a nut above him, hoping this sounded like an eager silence instead of a disinterested one. How did you make a silence sound different, anyway?

“Y'know,” Lance finally said, after maybe ten seconds, “this is usually the point where you say something like, 'Oh, Lance, you finally admit you're secretly a wrestler', or something.”

Arthur forced a laugh. “Yeah, eh. I just kinda felt the joke was getting old. Beating a dead horse, you know? Not very funny any—”

The creeper he was lying on got yanked out from beneath the car, and Arthur stared up at his uncle.

His uncle, dressed in shiny yellow spandex.

[ac-ars]

What if I’m crazy in love with you?

it’s the last day and im super emo, super happy we managed through this shit and super proud of everyone! also im skipping bonus day since my lazy ass still hasnt written anything for my multichapter and that’s sad

you can call it PART 3, after days 4 and 6 apparently im too big trash for this au lmao

other ficweek fics

DAY 7: “It’s very rude of you to make me fall in love with you. Inconsiderate, really.”

What if I’m crazy in love with you?

Luna loves early mornings, she really does, especially since she can wake up next to her Matteo. Maybe it’s six am and she has a class in two hours, but so does he; if he drives her she is gonna make it getting up at seven. Sixty minutes of cuddling if he doesn’t decide to have a shower is perfect picture right now.

The sun is peeking through blinds on the windows, showing small dusts flying in the air like drunk airplanes and leaving on Matteo’s back light lines which she wants to trace so badly. She feels the soft, soft fur of their small girl against her thigh, so she pulls her up resting her next to the pillow. Lyra yawns soundlessly trying to reach Luna’s face with her paws, but she fails with sad meow. Brunette smiles at the kitten leaning to kiss her head and letting her nuzzle against Luna’s cheek. White, thin sheet is tangled around her naked body not letting her move freely much, but Luna doesn’t mind. It’s not like she has to move. The only move she makes is going closer to him and hugging him from behind. She presses soft kiss to his arm as he unconsciously takes her hand tangling their fingers together and leaning into her with small sigh. Lyra apparently wants to snuggle with her Matteo as well, because she steps over Luna’s hip and jumps to the bed by Matteo’s side before hiding under his neck.

He yawns and mumbles with this rough, deep voice. “What time is it?”

“Six,” she murmurs kissing him again. “Come on, cuddle me.”

Matteo whines quietly. “Let me sleep, I’m tired.”

Luna throws her leg over his hip pulling him closer and nuzzles her nose behind his ear. She can hear Lyra’s purring in the silence. “If you are tired maybe you should’ve gone to sleep earlier, don’t be like this.”

She can hear he lets out the air slowly when kitten meows agreeing with her, but he just kisses Lyra and mumbles: “In case you forgot, I wanted to go to sleep earlier, but you distracted me, little lady.” Matteo turns to her bumping his nose against hers with still closed eyes and getting completely annoyed meow. He hisses, so she probably scratched his back slightly too.

Luna pouts. “I can’t believe you are too lazy to cuddle me.”

“I will make sure you have double homework today.” He says moving her hair lazily away from her face.

Luna pouts but then smirks in the way she learned from him. “If the homework is you I am sure I will do it without any complaining.”

Matteo chuckles tracing her collarbone with tips of his fingers. “Maybe if you’re lucky enough you won’t have to do the exercises at home, you can always stay after class.”

She blushes hiding in the pillow. “Shut up, homework is for home, besides I need to leave right after classes.” His fingers find hers as he pulls her hand to his mouth to kiss it softly. His lips touch every single fingertip before he moves to knuckles to end leaving kiss on Luna’s wrist. Lyra pushes on his face to get kisses as well and he kisses even her paws when he asks asking:

“And why do you?” He raises one eyebrow.

“Because my boyfriend takes me out for a dinner and he can be very impatient” She giggles.

Matteo rolls his eyes at her putting Lyra to his pillow and turns Luna to her back hovering over her with smirk. His nose traces her neck as she leans her head back with small hum. He leaves one kiss on the base of her neck keeping his lips close for a little too long, but she can’t really care because she likes it either way.

“You little meanie, not only making up the dinner just now but also making me fall too deep in love with you to be annoyed by this. It was very inconsiderate, because now I can’t even say no to you.” She brushes her fingers through his hair pulling him up softly to kiss. Matteo grins against her mouth and rests his hand on her waist drawing circles on her skin.

“Your life without me was pretty boring, I’m sure of it.” Luna looks at him innocently when he pulls away and her smile is so sweet he’d say she tastes like frosting if he didn’t kiss her few seconds before.

“Let’s not mention how your life must’ve been a mess. You were eating takeouts and sleeping in those weird hours. Then I appeared and saved you from all bad things of course.” He winks at her and Luna rolls her eyes.

“You are so extra, but I love you so I won’t throw you off me. This time. Also look at you using the big L word.” She teases him slightly.

“I loved you even before I knew what love was.” Italian chuckles pressing his lips to her collarbone again and brunette smiles arching her back towards him, stretching like a cat.

“That sounds very nice, actually a little not like you.” Luna murmurs softly.

He can only chuckle. “Using L word so many times in five minutes?”

She giggles pulling Lyra’s paw and annoying her a little before she sends her a kiss. “More like being cheesy, but doesn’t matter. By the way of you mentioned food, will you make me a breakfast?”

Matteo sighs with a smile. “When have I not done you breakfast?”

She doesn’t answer, just smiling at him instead and closing her eyes. It’s so warm and comfy with him here that she doesn’t want to move for whole day at all; that’s what he’s done to her. He kisses her cheek moving his lips up to her ear making the warmth spread inside her chest. When she thinks he will tell her something cute again he just whispers. “I have to go to shower.” With that he takes one hand away from her and sits up.

“I hate you, I wanted cuddles.” She mumbles back because he is going to leave her in the bed cold and alone.

“You don’t, you do love me, little lady. You said it yourself. Look at it from bright side, you will be able to stare at me when I’m getting dressed later. And you have Lyra to cuddle now.”

Luna growls hiding in the pillow and covering her head with the sheet because there’s no way of that either. He will probably dig in his closet deciding what to wear today for fifteen minutes and ending up taking white shirt with dark pants. She doesn’t even need to bet for that. At least there’s Lyra stomping softly on her back and pushing her nose between Luna’s cheek and the pillow.

“We are gonna be so late, it’s all because of you, little lady.” Matteo rushes in the kitchen finishing his coffee quickly and looking for car keys.

“You left them hanging by the door. I am sure it’s all your fault, you are being extra slow since you woke up.” Luna answers rolling her eyes at him. She’s sitting on the counter, watching him as he keeps running around while Lyra is on her lap demanding all scratches.

He reaches for the tie hanging over back of the chair and goes to her to tie it for him. They both know he can do this; he had been for years but it’s still nice. “Yes, it’s because you didn’t let me sleep at night. You knew I had tiring evening.” Luna rolls her eyes focusing on the tie and Lyra wants to get lower buttons or Matteo’s shirt pulling and scratching them with her paws.

“You were thinking about last test, this could’ve been avoided if you left it for the weekend.” She fixes his tie for last time before putting her hands on his arms and kissing him softly. His arms wrap around her waist moving closer to her.

“Listen, baby, you do worry about exams before them and I do after them. Also I know you would find some other excuse during the weekend.”

Luna pouts because well, he is right, she would pull him to the couch and watch a movie cuddling, but he doesn’t need to know that. She just sighs and connects their lips again. Matteo smiles kissing her back a little longer than he should looking at the clock, but who would care about time while kissing Luna?

“We better get going if you want to be on time,” he mumbles as they pull away.

Brunette shrugs. “You have to be on time, I don’t need it that much, but yeah. Let’s go.”

Italian takes Lyra from Luna’s lap and picks her up kissing top of her head for a few times before telling her to be nice and letting her sleep on the bed again.

“You sure you have everything?” He asks Luna as soon as he’s closing the apartment door behind and taking her hand leading her to elevator.

Their fingers lace when she nods and waits for them to get down. Luna has always hated elevators; she tells people she doesn’t trust them, but the truth is she lowkey is never sure if the door opens back.

It’s not raining even if they said it would in forecast so there was no need to take the umbrella. Though Matteo has to be prepared in case it’s raining later. Luna still needs to get used to it because she wasn’t going to uni with him much before she moved in and she has all the fun to discover all of his daily routines.

They get into Matteo’s car throwing their bags on the backseat before he reminds her to fasten her seatbelt. Luna rolls her eyes, but does immediately what he says because he’s being cute making sure it’s all safe. He starts the car and no matter how many times she’s seen him driving she will still stare. Is it even possible to love the way someone is driving?

She gives him a kiss (ten kisses) before leaving the car and letting him find some parking place. They surprisingly aren’t late and Luna walks totally casually towards the entrance enjoying the sun on her cheeks. Just before the door Matteo catches her hand pulling her to his chest and kissing for a few times with big grin, that makes him look like teenager again.

“See you in a few?” he asks moving her hair behind her ear and Luna just nods with small smile.

“I love you very much, remember that.” It makes him smile even wider and kiss her again.

“I love you too, I’ll text you about the dinner.” Matteo sends her a wink and with another kiss he is gone, running probably to get his shit done before classes.

Luna finds her group friends waiting in front the class, gossiping about some stuff and probably commenting on last night’s game of their uni team. Luna doesn’t really care, she just saw the score. Matteo was more interested because he actually read the live comment, but it’s not like he’s that into football.

He would probably be if football was a constellation.

Some guy brings the key saying that they are supposed to get into the class so they do, taking their usual seats, yet she still looks for Matteo with her eyes. He’s not there long enough for her to take her notebook out and even run through last notes with her eyes before he enters the class pretending he’s completely casual and throws his bag to his own chair.

Everyone’s eyes are on him, because well, he was late and it happens to every single person in this group (Luna perfectly knows how it is) and he seems to be chill with the attention until someone asks.

“Matteo, can I have a question?” They wait focused all on him and he nods softly. “Is that a hickey on your neck?”

His eyes shot to Luna and all she can think of is oh shit.

[act1]

im curious - what are ur tips for character creation / making realistic characters? :o

wow you bet ! thanks for asking; i have to warn you right now, this is probably going to get pretty long

so when creating a character, there’s a lot of stuff you have to look at. 

it depends on what you’re using these characters for; i do writing with my characters, so i look at them from a writers perspective. but i’m sure it’s easily transferable to people who roleplay, draw, or simply like daydreaming about their characters.

personality traits are really important, and what i like talking about most, so i’m gonna start there. 

i don’t really believe in good traits and bad traits. i think any trait should be able to be seen in a positive or negative light. and i’ll take nise for example when looking at personality traits; one of nises biggest things is that he’s selfish. there’s the obvious when looking at selfishness; he does things that benefit himself and cause others harm, because to him, it doesn’t matter. they don’t matter. what matters is that things work out in his favour, in the path of least resistance. and that’s regarded as a bad thing, because it is, i mean, he’s an asshole. but selfishness has also lead him to do things like chase his dreams relentlessly, it’s got him to the place he’s at. it’s helped him brighten the lives of those he loves dearly. which is a benefit for him, and for them. 

and nise is also smart, which is typically seen as a positive trait. it’s good for him; he knows lots, he’s well read, and more than that, he’s got a quick mind. he can work his way out of situations by thinking it over, and he can use his quick wit to get things out of people. but because he’s so well-read, he tends to immediately assume other people are stupid, even if they’re close to him. especially if they’re like leucis, and don’t read much. this kinda goes in with the selfishness thing, he tends to view other people as not as capable as him, even if in reality they are more qualified. and nise also uses his ability to understand people to his advantage in manipulative ways; hailey mentioned this before that finnion, their character whom nise is married to, worries sometimes he’s being manipulated into loving nise. and so despite the fact that he doesn’t lie, he’s not very trustworthy, because he can manipulate people so well. and that’s an asshole thing to do. nise is just an asshole. 

and to go kinda into what i said above, your traits should tie together in some way. you can have a kind shy person, or a kind extroverted person, and those two traits should work in tandem. maybe the kind shy person sees someone hurt, and despite how much it scares them, they offer to help. maybe the kind extroverted person offers to help a struggling kid with their homework, and scares them away. because traits should be both good and bad, and maybe their kindness came off as too forgive. maybe the kind shy person lets others walk all over them because they have low self-image. because in real life, every single personality trait you have is going to do some good for you, and some bad. maybe you’re smart and getting top grades, but the stress to succeed gets to you and you crack. maybe your organization and tidy lifestyle lead you to be persnickety and uptight about everything being perfect.  

what i’m trying to say with these points is, make sure your characters personality traits aren’t sole good or bad, and that they don’t exist separate from eachother. 

another important thing when creating a character is fears and goals. i’m putting those together because i feel like, a lot of the time, fears and goals work together well. ill keep using nise as a example when i talk. so your character should be afraid of stuff for a reason, but if they have fears just because, that’s fine too. nise is afraid of bears because of a childhood incident with one. but nise is afraid of pain simply because pain is not fun or pleasurable, and seeing his own blood makes him freak out because that’s not supposed to be on the outside. but he’s also afriad of being restrained or unable to move, and of sensory deprivation, because he used to do work as an information broker, and never in his life did he want to feel as powerless and the people he was getting information out of. 

and then there’s his Big Main Fear, the one which affects his main goal directly. nises ultimate goal is to become a god, like cyric did. and he wants this so desperately because he’s afraid of being forgotten. of everything he’s done in his life being pointless, of his name being washed away with history. because he has such an interest in individual lives, he loves reading journals and letters from people who lived centuries ago, he doesn’t want to wind up like them. forgotten or almost forgotten. and he figures if he’s always around, there will always be someone to tell his story, to remember his name. 

now of course, your character doesn’t  need a big major fear linked to their big major goal. but i know this happens in real life a lot- i have a big major fear that drives me towards my big major goal. and your character doesn’t need a big major goal either, but most real actual people have got one. even if their goal is to get married, to get their dream job, to adopt a couple dogs, to beat or manage their mental illness. but humans (and by extension, humanoid creatures) don’t like living just for the sake of living. most people need something to strive towards. and giving your characters something personal to keep living for helps make them feel more rounded.

but those are the kinds of things you hear in your english class, so i mean, i’m probably not telling you anything new. 

backstories are important for your characters too. because in real life, the things we go through can affect us monumentally. for example with nise, he grew up without any friends. he spent his time reading, and talking with village elders, learning about them. so lots of his life was about learning, focusing on something for as long as it took to learn it, and then moving on. this affects his life now; he has a hard time getting involved in stuff. things, books, people will catch his attention until he’s learned as much about them as he can, and then he throws them away and moves on. and this complicates relationships a lot, because when he meets someone, like leucis or cieryllis or finnion, whom he actually truely loves, and wants to stick with, it’s hard for them to see him moving through people so quickly and not think he’s going to do the same to them. this was actually one of the major reasons he and cieryllis split up, because cie didn’t trust him to be faithful, and ended it before he could get hurt. 

and that kinda brings us back to fear; people do impulsive, dumb, irrational things out of fear. nise left leucis out of fear, and it’s his biggest regret. cie left nise out of fear of getting hurt again. people will give out information vital to their lives to prevent themselves from getting hurt, and people will prevent sharing things like abuse out of fear. and so characters acting out of fear, abandoning logic and acting on impulse because they’re afraid, can really add a level of reality to them; especially when a generally logical character does something out of fear, it can lend the reader a little look into their life, to help understand what drives them.

people can drastically alter your characters worldview too. like when nise met valas, when nise was still just a child, valas was the most interesting person young nise had ever encountered. and this made him realize, oh my, other people are so dreadfully interesting, and history is so rich, and it really affected his interests and stuff that way.

but people can also have negative effects on your characters. of course, abuse is something that can drastically affect a persons life. like in a book i actually just finished yesterday, a characters abusive partner used to call him a slut every time after they’d had sex, and try passing it off as a joke. and then once this character got out of that relationship, he would do the same to the other people he had had sex with, in a sort of ‘i’ll hurt you before you can hurt me’ tactic that really fucked with his ability to maintain relationships.

and character development throughout the story is something vitally important. because people are always changing, and so if your character remains the same person through their entire life, it’s not realistic. using nise as an example again, every single major relationship he’d ever been in taught him something. the first taught him that it’s important you let your partner know how you’re feeling, that communication is vital. the second taught him that the world does not revolve around him. the third, that people have different views of the world, and something that makes sense to you might not make sense to them. and that is okay. 

but character development isn’t always about them becoming better people. negative character development can be so interesting, and it’s often overlooked. like with nise again, when he first leaves the town he had grown up in, he’s shy. he’s polite. he sees the good in people, because he’s only had an outsiders view of most of the world, and he chooses to only see the good stuff. but then he gets robbed, and beaten, and he has to fight to make his way in the world, and he realizes the only person who he really has is himself. he has no qualms about hurting people- he becomes an information broker, abusing his charms for his own gain. he scoffs at the person he used to be, who thought he could help the world out. and he comes out ahead, because even though he had to do morally gray things to get there, and he had to go through a lot of changes as a person, he is in a position where he is content. 

but maybe that’s not negative enough. again, i really don’t like terms like positive and negative, but using them is easier to get my point across. 

maybe you’ve got a character who is easygoing, friendly, and generous. but something happens to them. someone steps on them a bit too hard, a loved one dies, or they have an epiphany. and now they’re rude to everyone they meet, they start fights for the sake of fighting, they do things that harm themself. and people are begging them to stop, to get help, but they like the person they’ve become, because now, nobody takes advantage of them. 

any sort of change a character goes through can help a reader to relate to the character, to understand them better, to make them more interesting, even if they aren’t exactly likable. 

and that’s another thing; characters don’t have to be morally good. i’d take a well-written morally evil character over a shoddy morally pure character any day. sure, a character who says rude things and talks in circles might not be very likable to other characters, but a reader might be drawn to them because they relate to the way they talk, or the idiosyncrasies they have. because people are rarely ever actually morally pure, and each of us have small strange tidbits we’d like to see represented in characters. 

so i’m a really picky eater, and i can’t eat a lot of food because the texture of it overwhelms me. but not a lot of characters are picky eaters, and even fewer have sensory issues related to food. but celia katchudorian does, she has the exact problems with food that i do, and i liked seeing that in a character. it’s bothersome to her family, because there’s stuff she can’t eat, and it’s not written as a positive thing. but it made me feel good to see a character like me, whos family regards her idiosyncrasies the same way my family does mine. 

so giving your characters ‘undesirable’ traits isn’t bad, because everyone has them. maybe they can’t talk over the phone, or their hands sake, or they’re obsessive about what time it is, or they have a habit of picking leaves off trees and pulling them apart. these kinds of little things help characters feel more real and relatable, especially to people who do those kinds of things themselves. 

when writing relationships, it’s important to make sure you know why the characters like or dislike eachother. especially with romantic relationships. i can’t tell you how many times ive read a book where the character talks about how their love could bend universes and turn back time and all that jazz, and i’m like, okay but are you guys even friends? think about the reasons why you like your friends. why you dislike the people you dislike. maybe your friend is interested in the same movie, and you guys like talking about that. your girlfriend has insomnia, just like you do, and the two of you stay up texting when you can’t sleep. but there’s other reasons people stay together too, and unhealthy relationships are not a bad thing to write about, so long as it’s understood they’re not to be seen as healthy or ideal relationships. a couple who is toted as a dream duo, but who do nothing but insult eachother, is not a good example of a well written relationship. but consider a relationship where person A reminds person B of person C, who has left person B’s life, and so person B has an unhealthy obsession with person A, and person A sticks around person B because they feel obliged to. this is not an example of a healthy relationship, but so long as it’s communicated that this is not to be idolized, that neither person is benefiting from this, and that it needs to be fixed or ended, it can be a well written relationship. and perhaps people who are in that situation might see it as non-normal, and seek help to get out of it. 

in real life, people in relationships joke. they laugh. they have inside memes. they can send a text to the other that just says ‘id fuck an alien’. but they also fight. they have things they disagree on, things they don’t want to talk about with the other. because no actual relationship is just kissing and cuddling and saying i love you 100 times, because no chemistry exists there. and no relationship is perfect, either. your partner might say something that offends you, or you might do something that hurts their feelings. but having characters who fuck up, and find a way to work through it, is a lot better than a relationship where everything is sunshine and perfectness. 

and this includes friendships. and enemy-ships. and even with acquaintances, where maybe your co-worker says something racist, and you start silently disliking them, but continue business as usual because you’re scared of starting a fight with them

so that was a lot of stuff. but i guess, tl;dr, human beings are flawed. people make mistakes, they’re assholes, they’re selfish, they do strange things. and it’s important to write characters who do those things too, because anyone looking into these characters from an outsiders perspective will find a flawed character much more interesting, relatable, and real than a character who is ideal and flawless.

[vvakarians]

It’s getting really gay under the cut, featuring my Phillippe Vandame and @charlatanreyes ‘s Antigonus 

It wasn’t the stench that seemed to permeate the walls nor the sound of rats feet skittering across the stone; no, it was the small body, it’s arms wrapped around itself as if to ward off the oncoming hand of death. The child had not been down here for more than two days and yet the rot of the Spire had already began to claim it, every tendril of mold that Phillippe laid his eyes on made his stomach turn and threaten to compromise him.

“Not now, not in front of the others”, he thought to himself, and threw his gaze away from the glowstone. Beside him, the other recruits were watching in an irreverent silence, most would scoff later about how the mage hadn’t been strong enough, that it should have been strong enough if it had wanted to live. It. Such an ugly word, the other recruits threw it around as if the syllable meant nothing --as if the dead were not there-- and laughed. How could they call anyone that and mean it, especially about a child?

“You sure we should really be disposing of the body, more food for the rats” one of them snarled, turning towards the senior templar that stood in front of them all.

He was an older man, a Knight-Lieutenant of the Order, long, stringy gray hair pulled back and constantly shaven, but rather badly. Phillippe could not remember his name for the life of him and thought he’d rather not know, it was better to not put a name to the face when things went wrong, as they often did.

“The mage will be taken upstairs to another chamber, you are here for removal, nothing more. Maker willing, you’ll get this one and the others cleaned up in double the time the others did”, the Knight-Lieutenant muttered and made his way forward through the trio of recruits before him.

Panic sank to the bottom of Phillippe’s stomach as he realized that the man was leaving him here with the other two men, in the Pit of the Spire, to clean up the remains of other people. Before he could even string together a coherent thought the older Knight had walked completely out of the holding cell, his heavy footsteps echoing off the damp walls. With only the glowstone affixed to the floor of the small room, the young man once again glanced downwards and felt his stomach roil. This child could have been no more than eleven when he had died, only slightly older than his own little brother that wandered the halls awaiting his Harrowing.

Whoever, or whatever had killed this boy certainly left a mess. Dark swathes of blood colored the stones beneath the body and beneath the recruits boots, mostly dried, but some spots were still tacky. Phillippe didn’t dare look for the eyes, if they were even present, he knew well enough that some rat had probably snatched them away long ago. Most of the damage to the body was likely done after the mage had died, as the murderer had only stabbed it’s victim --exactly once-- straight through the heart. They hadn’t even had time to let loose a fireball or freeze the assailant before the dagger had done its work.

One of the other recruits scoffed as he knelt down beside the body, armor clanking together as he did so. He was not a good looking man, a recruit that had been taken later in life than the rest, no doubt sporting a belly that could hold half his weight in ale. The man screwed up his gnarled root of a nose and spat into the darkness, chuckling as the rats scrambled for cover.

“Still think we should leave it for food”, his voice was just as rough as he seemed, life had not made him kind.

“I don’t think the rats would want to eat the rest of ‘im, they took the best parts already” the other recruit, a smaller man, no more than Phillippes age clanked over to Rough Voice’s side and gazed down. Not an Orlesian by the sound of his accent, more than likely some ruffian they pulled out of the prison to fill out the ranks.

“Our superior asked for us to bring him up, we should do as he requested”

The words were out of his mouth before Phillippe could stop himself, both the other recruits’ heads snapped up and gave him a sneer. Rough Voice’s teeth were a harsh yellow color that only added to the young man’s nausea. Why in the Maker’s name did it seem like he was the only one that actually took care of himself?

“And what do you think they’re gonna do with it’s body, send it back? Andraste’s tits, you’re a daft one, it probably had no parents, or if it did they wouldn’t want it back anyway”, Rough Voice’s friend grumbled. An anger began to boil within Phillippe at the man’s gall, how dare he say that? This mage had been no more than a boy when he died, his parents were probably worried sick, or at best, and hopefully, dead. At least then they’d be with their child instead of waiting for word from the White Spire about his untimely demise. His armored fists clenched at his side and he had every inclination to draw his sword right there, perhaps cut out the tongue of the recruit who had dared say that, however he was able to hold himself back for the time being.

“Do you have no kind bone in your body? He was a child”

“And? Children die where I come from everyday, noble boy, it wasn’t anythin’ special”, the second recruits brow knit together for a moment and his own rage overcame his features, “Why do you care anyway? You were raised with a golden spoon in your mouth, I bet, not to mention this thing was a mage. They aren’t like you and me”

They aren’t like you and me.

Phillippe’s mind went straight to Jean-Marc, his little brother, undoubtedly fast asleep right about now in his quarters. He imagined the boy at his feet with his siblings face, how this very well could have been him at any point. His own parents had practically been rejoicing when they sent their youngest son of to the Circle, as if a tremendous weight had been lifted from their shoulders. Being cursed with a mage child meant that there was just another black mark on the family’s reputation, it meant that it was another child that could not further their legacy. Memories of Jean being stripped away from them, quietly, without a fuss did not exist in his eldest brothers mind. There were only images of the child biting and kicking at the templars, his shrill voice had made the walls shake while they were made to watch. He could remember every detail, every lamp shattering on the walls, the crystalline tears as they fell from the boy’s green eyes. It reminded him of another. A first born son, made to confess why he had kissed another boy, and then being dragged up to his room. Locked away in personal void laid out before him by his parents. Phillippe could still remember the voice of his mother as she spoke with his eldest sister.

He isn’t like you or me.

The rage was almost too much to bear, lyrium song screeching in his ears as he took a step forward in the dark.

“I will not let you leave him here to be eaten like some discarded meat. If you won’t do this, then I will”

There was a chuckled from one of them, but Phillippe did not care to recognize the source, his body moving of it’s own accord. Perhaps there was something that was said, but he did not hear it; there was only the image of the boy, alone in his room. He isn’t like you or me. His armor scraped against the bloodied stone as he scooped up the corpse, the body itself weighed no more than a bird would, and yet it had a heaviness to it that the young man knew all too well. Unfortunately, he had become too fixated on the small thing in his arms and did not take notice to the fact Rough Voice had stood, placing his boot out in front of Phillippe. No doubt his voice would be bouncing off of the walls just as the Knight-Lieutenant's footfalls had, the third man noticing none of it. True to the situation, he did not see the boot, only registering the way the cold, stale air rushed out from beneath him.

Phillippe did not fall gracefully, indeed he fell with a great -whoompf! - and clattered to the ground so loudly that somewhere down the hall another pair of footsteps could be heard making for the stairs up to the main floor. A pair of footsteps that should not have been there in the first place, however the three recruits did not take heed, instead the two lugs cackled while their peer reeled on the floor.

Flecks of pain dotted the arm he had landed on, no doubt there would be severe bruising at the very least, in the moment though, he did not care. Upon his fall he had slammed down into the corpse, the acrid smell of death washing over him in waves. He had already begun to retch as he rolled off the boy, this time able to register the laughs continuing to come out of the other two men behind him. Pure anger and embarrassment mixed into a volatile concoction within his chest while he let his body do what it needed.

“Shoulda’ been watchin’ where you were goin’, noble boy” one of them were able to choke out amongst their fit of chuckling, “Hows that body doin’ now? Can’t wait to see the look on that old geezers face when you present it to ‘im-”

In three swift movements, carried by all the rage inside him, Phillippe’s fist connected with Rough Voice’s jaw. Bile and spit still dripped from the corner of his mouth as he slammed another into his already pitted face, the other recruit scrambling to make it towards the cell door. He didn’t know how many times he had delivered a punch to the older recruit, only that he had stopped when a pair of stronger hands had seized him under the arms, fresh blood splattered everywhere in the cell now. In all reality, Phillippe did not care, through the numbness and pain all he could hear was the song laced with his mothers words.

He isn’t like you or me.

Again. Again. Phillippe’s fists slammed into the training dummy, splintering the wood holding it upright, with a single, furious shout. As he took a step back it toppled over, Rough Voice --later to be named Virgil Greer, a transfer from the Marches-- still fresh in his mind this many years afterwards. He had learned the next week that the man had nearly died from his wounds, apparently Phillippe had shattered much of his jaw and an eye socket, the bastard refusing to eat anything while the healer worked on him for days. After that early morning in the Pit he had been assigned to a different Circle, the third transfer in a year for the merchant turned supposed holy warrior, put in his place by a seventeen year old boy from a prominent noble family, and an Orlesian one at that. Phillippe had never been sent to the Pit again and had instead been put on guard duty for the various Tranquils about the White Spire, as well as punished with attending Harrowings for the remainder of his days as a templar. Or that’s how he liked to put it. No doubt the Knight-Commander had thought it best to put him in his place after such a show, not that it helped make him any quieter.

Now the boy was a man, recovering from a recent red lyrium exposure in the Emprise, his scars keeping him up at all hours with the pain of a fever. A constant, underlying song sang beneath his skin when he wasn’t focused on something else, not even the Calling, which had been nearly eradicated since his Joining, could do much of anything anymore. He had taken to sitting in the snow banks when he wasn’t in his cot, soaking in the cold that eventually would just make him sick on top of the lyrium withdrawals, but it was enough to keep the terrible heat at bay. At least while the Warden-Constable was with the other Warden recruits. Come to think of it he had felt a familiar presence on the edge of camp that morning just before he had started beating up the training dummy..

“What in Andraste’s name do you think you’re doing, Warden?!”

Ah, there he is, Phillipe thought fondly, letting himself smile just a bit while his breath made clouds in the near zero temperature. His bloodshot eyes landed upon the elf who had emerged from a tent nearby, soft, brown hair gently waving in the cold breeze, a scowl gracing his normally sweet features. Here he had thought Antigonus could not get more beautiful, only to be proven wrong the moment they had come to the Emprise with the Inquisitors in tow. He relished every moment he could hold the man in his arms and warm him with his unnatural heat, even when they were still bloodied from battle.

“I’m teaching the dummy a lesson”, he replied once the Warden-Constable trudged closer, full armor gleaming off the snow.

“You should be resting, Vandame”

A sigh escaped Phillippe’s lips as he adjusted his own armor, growing uncomfortably hot beneath it already, “Is it too late for me to say no?”

“Phillippe-”

“I couldn’t sleep, you had gone to brief the others and the--”, he winced as a twinge of pain crawled up his back, “the song was making it hard to even relax”

Antigonus replied with a wonderfully cool hand placed against the warden recruits cheek, concern flitting across his brow so quickly that Phillippe regretted ever getting out of bed.

“You still have a high fever, you should really come back to rest”

“Only if you’ll come with me”

“You know I will, mon cher, I only had to step out for a moment this morning”

There was an unspoken moment between the two as Antigonus offered up his hand to the other man, Phillippe taking it almost instantly, if anything could get that memory of the Pit out of his head it would be the Warden-Constable. Upon the closing of the tent flap behind him the elven man’s fingers helped pry off the sweat soaked armor that Phillippe had made himself haul on early that morning, his wonderfully cool skin relieving the pain near immediately. Antigonus’s gentle lips pressed a calming trail of kisses along his jaw and had the Orlesian man sighing in contentment as he eased himself into the Warden-Constables lap, his head resting between his legs. He had missed Ani’s smile, the way his eyes creased just so when he did, the way his hair tickled his cheeks when he would lean down to kiss him. Perhaps it wasn’t so bad t relive the memories, the he isn’t like you or me moments, if he would eventually feel the elf’s touch, his hands carding through his hair and smoothing it down. The press of magical energy eased away the song that rested just behind his eyes as he was able to finally just relax; the shivering reduced to a minimum while Ani took care of him. Later he would think of a way to repay him, to relieve the burden of command just for a little while, but for now he was content with the warden’s lips upon his, washing away the sins of the past.

[cupcakeblake]

Of course, of course! Let me use names, it might make it more understandable :) But feel free to switch their roles! "Modern AU: Clarke can't sleep at night; Bellamy often wakes up with nightmares. He ends up seeing all of her late night Snapchats and Instagram posts. Cue adorable late night talks, etc." Hope this helps!

I twisted it a little bit because Im incapable of writing angst… So it’s Bellamy having weird dreams and Clarke not sleeping at night! Social Media Au!

thank you @bellamybb for reading this over! tagging some people who showed interested in this @francyfifty @prongsno​ and also @selflessbellamy​ @marauders-groupie​ @boob-morley​ @hiddenpolkadots​ because i want your thoughts on this

Keeping me up at night

ClarkeGriffin: Should I stop drinking coffee or should I continue not sleeping atnight?

           Octavia Blake, Raven Reyes, Wells Jaha and 6 others likedthis.

           Wells Jaha:you’re gonna die at 30

           Raven Reyes:you could never stop drinking coffee. Rip friend. Nice knowing you.

Clarke wasn’t a big sleeper. Everhad been. Apparently, she didn’t need a lot of sleep to function.

However, she needed a lot ofcaffeine.

Her phone vibrated with a newFacebook notification: Bellamy Blakecommented on your post.

          Bellamy Blake: I knew you were a fake. Idon’t sleep at night by my own means thank you very much.

She smiled and immediatelyanswered.

           Clarke Griffin:yeah you’re right. Coffee got me awake since im a baby…

           Bellamy Blake:clearly. Don’t do drugs kids.

She didn’t know Bellamy thatwell. She only met him once for one of Octavia’s birthday party but theysomehow ended up following each other on most social medias. She wasn’tcomplaining because he was fun and he seemed to not sleeping at nights, justlike her, and they always ended up talking through the night… She liked him.

Clarke laughed out loud when she saw the picture Bellamy sent her inreply of her story. She opened the messaging system and typed:

           C: so what’s the problem tonight mister-weird-dream?

           B: Have you ever dreamed you were in space?

           C: of course. what do you think am i? an amateur?

           B: fair enough.

           B: but how was it for you? because it was weird for me

           C: you sound like you tried some new weird sex thing

           B: why are you messaging me again?

           C: i like the weird sex stories (:

           B: this conversation is over.

           C: come on… distract me im bored

           B: well go to sleep.

           C: haha funny

           B: I try.

           C: anyway when i dreamed i was in space i was alone floating in thesky something aesthetic like that?

           B: okay…

           C: what? What did you dreamed about?

           B: earth was destroyed, people lived in space in a weird ship? Andthere was a fucked up system where people were sent in prison for anything? idk

           C: you’re really weird

           B: thanks.

It was actually a little weirdthat they didn’t run into each other yet. They did live in the same city. Theydid have friends in common. It was only a matter of time… And apparently, timewas up.

Clarke had her eyes fixed onher phone, her bag falling of her shoulder, her hair falling in front of hereyes, the phone in one hand, a cup of coffee on the other one. She bumped intosomebody, spilled her drink. And of course, it was Bellamy.

“Oh I’m so sorry! I’ll get youcleaned up, I’m sorry I wasn’t looking!”

“Relax, princess, I wasn’tlooking either.”

Only then – only after hearingthe nickname – she leveled her gaze up and met his. Bellamy Blake was wayprettier in real life.

“Oh it’s you.” She just saidand she winced because what the fuck wasthat?

He laughed. “I’m sorry to be adisappointment.”

Her eyes widened. “Oh no! Ididn’t mean… I’m sorry-”

“Hey relax. I was just messingwith you.” He shrugged and ran a hand through his hair. Clarke simply blinkedtwice.

“You’re still wet.” She said,because clearly she was weird and he had a bad effect on her. He raised aneyebrow at her, a small smirk forming on his lips. “I mean… You still coveredin coffee…”

He licked his lips then andClarke blinked once more.

“Clearly” he said “but exceptif you have a shirt in your bag I don’t know how this situation would evolveany time soon.” The smirk was fully on his lips then. So she rolled her eyes.

“Okay Mister Smart-Pants. I’msorry I ruined your very basic and very brown shirt. I’ll buy you another oneone day if you want.”

“Wow someone is cranky.” Buthe was still smiling.

“I need coffee to function.But you got my cup all over yourself so…”

“How is it my fault now?”

“You did say you were not lookingeither, remember.”

“It was your coffee! Youshould have watch out!”

“Okay Mister-Weird-Dream youshould stop right now because-”

She didn’t have the chance tofinish her sentence because Octavia showed up right at this moment. Oh right.She was supposed to meet Octavia. Not her brother.

“Hey O.” Bellamy said, thesmirk still on his lips.

“Hi… Bellamy? Clarke…” Octaviahad a confused look on her face and Clarke couldn’t really blame her.

“So I was going to the malland Clarke spilled her coffee all over me… I’m gonna go now!”

He went in the directionOctavia came. Clarke could still see him smirk at her and wave as he lookedover his shoulder.

“Why were you flirting with mybrother, Clarke?” Clarke choked on nothing and scoffed.

“I was not!”

Later that day she received atext from Bellamy.

10:34pm [Bellamy] You owe me a shirt.

10:35pm [Clarke] Well you owe me a coffee jerk. She replied. Andit was only later that she got the date subtext… Oh well…

@bellblake: had the strangestdream. Was a salmon, got eaten by a bear. #wtf #terrifiedforlife

          @thegriffinprincess@themurphylife and 4 others liked this

@thegriffinprincess: @bellblake Iraise you with my became-a-real-life-dragon-and-destroyed-earth dream

@bellblake:@thegriffinprincess from what I’m hearing you became world’s ruler and I goteaten… which is worse?

@thegriffinprincess: @bellblake surelyit’s being world’s ruler too much responsibilities.

@bellblake:@thegriffinprincess you’re right as a salmon I lived a pretty nice life

@themurphylife:@thegriffinprincess @bellblake please go be eaten by a bear. BOTH OF YOU.

Bellamy couldn’t help butsending her a private message.

           B: i see youhave been having weird dreams too. welcome to the club

           C: I hardlysleep… and it was maybe when I was five?

           B: you dreamedyou were a dragon destroying earth at five?

           C: yeah

           B: you’refucking terrifying.

Clarke smiled at her phone,fondly.

BellamyBlake: any ideas for things to do when you cant sleep (aka every night?)

           Octavia Blake and John Murphy liked this.

           Clarke Griffin:Read, watch TV, have sex, learn a new language, draw, pull pranks on yourroommates, cook or eat, do your laundry, dance naked on your living room, takea bath, write a novel, watch videos of funny cats on youtube, rewatch yourfavorite tv show, go visit the city at night, take pictures, annoy all yourfacebook friends with pointless posts?

           John Murphy:Are you volunteering to have sex with Bellamy, Griffin?

           Octavia Blake:Clarke, you can’t… You just can not tell my brother to have sex like it’snothing and getting away with it…

           Nathan Miller:Clarke you can’t… You just can not tell Bellamy to dance naked in the livingroom. Sometimes I get up at night and I don’t want to be terrified for life.

2:45pm [Clarke] So I’ve got you anew shirt.

3:02pm [Bellamy] Great. I bet Icould find a place to find you a new coffee.

3:03pm [Bellamy] meet me at CostaCoffee? At 5?

3:05pm [Clarke] in England???

3:05pm [Bellamy] why are youmaking this so difficult?

BecauseI’m nervous as hell…

Clarke breathed deeply beforeanswering.

3:07pm [Clarke] Yeah okay

It was definitely a date. Ifwe were defining it by how much Clarke was freaking out. She was pacing. Shealready thought of changing of outfits to look nicer. She checked her make-up,her hair. She was freaking pathetic.

She only had herself to blame.She sent him the text. But she had missed him… Since that Facebook post hedidn’t interact with her as much as he used to. And she missed him.

3:34pm [Clarke] I might like yourbrother a little more than I thought

3:35pm [Octavia] shocking

She smiled at her phone,seeing in her friend’s sarcasm a blessing of sort?

3:35pm [Clarke] i might have adate with him?

3:35pm [Octavia] what do you mean /might/have?

3:36pm [Clarke] well we didn’texactly use the word “date” but we’re meeting for coffee?

3:37pm [Octavia] just go clarkeyou’ll figure it then

And she did. She showed up afew minutes before 5 but he was already there. She resisted fixing her skirtand walked to him. He welcomed her with a big smile and her heart did a funnything.

“Hi, Clarke.” His voice wassoft. He looked perfectly calm and at ease. She sat in front of him and relaxedunder his gaze. “What are you taking? My treat.”

“Well, it was the deal” shegrinned. But her face immediately turned into a horrified one.

“Wha- What Clarke? What’shappening?”

“I… Err, I forgot your shirt?”

He didn’t say anything for afew seconds, didn’t move an inch. Clarke began to take a deep breathe butBellamy bursted out laughing.

“That’s seriously notimportant” he smiled a little shy but with the same soft face.

She bit her lips, suddenlyoverwhelmed.

“You’re paying then? I thinkgonna take a mocha and a donut and…”

@bellblake: why am i alwayshaving these weird dreams

@thebetterblake: @bellblake ualways had these dreams y r u questioning this now

@bellblake: @thebetterblakeim allowed to be concerned of my mental health

@natemiller: @bellblake@thebetterblake i can tell u if u want: u r freakin mad

@bellblake: @natemiller@thebetterblake i knew we were friends for a reason

@thegriffinprincess: @bellblake whatwas it now?

@bellblake: @thegriffinprincessi was elected president and trump ate me

@thegriffinprincess: @bellblake wowyou like getting eaten

@thebetterblake:@thegriffinprincess @bellblake clarke……………………..

@thegriffinprincess: @thebetterblake@bellblake I MEANT LIKE THAT OTHER DREAM HE HAD

@bellblake: me featuring inmy weird ass dream of last night

          @thegriffinprincess@thebetterblake @natemiller and 45 others liked this

Clarke barely heard her phoneringing under the shower. She made it in time just before it goes to thevoicemail. She answered it without looking at the number.

“Hi?”

“Clarke, hi?”

“Bellamy?”

“Yeah… I’m sorry… I shouldn’thave called… You probably have other things to do.”

“Bellamy it’s 2 in themorning… I have literally nothing to do right now. What’s up?”

“It’s nothing really… But youwere the only one I know who could be up this late…”

“No problem seriously.”

“I had this dream…”

“You always have weirddreams.”

“It was more like a nightmareactually…”

“Oh.”

She listened to him as he toldher about this nightmare. How he dreamed he was 10 again when his step dad beathis mother and how he would hide Octavia to protect her. And then he was backinto the present time and this man came back into their lives and manipulatedOctavia who ended up in the hospital because of him but blamed Bellamy foreverything…

Clarke listened as his voicebroke with a few sobs sometimes, showing how deeply he loved his sister and howimportant she was for him.

When he was done, shewhispered a few words, letting now that everything was okay, that he couldcount on her. Always.

They moved on on another topicand spent the night talking to each other, discovering the last parts theydidn’t know about each other.

1:54am [Clarke] are you taking ascreenshot of every one of my snaps?

1:56am [Bellamy] yes and?

1:57am [Clarke] nothing.

2:03am [Clarke] i do the same

3:02am[Clarke] I still have your shirt.

3:04am[Bellamy] my shirt?

3:04am[Clarke] you know the brown hideous one i got you to replace thebrown hideous one i’ve ruined with coffee

3:05am[Bellamy] oh that shirt.

3:05am[Clarke] yes. want it?

3:05am[Clarke] im at your door.

Bellamyopened the door and it was the most beautiful view Clarke could imagine.Bellamy wearing a large shirt and some sport pants as pyjamas. Looking at herlike she was stars.

“Could we date?” She blurted out. “Like really date?With kissing and maybe more. And spending afternoons at each other’s place. Andhold hands, I really would like to hold your hands like always.”

She seemed to realize that she said that completelyout of the blue and blushed. But it wasn’t really out of the blue, was it?

“You know what I mean… I got your shirt” she addedlifting a bag.

“I couldn’t care any less about the shirt, Clarke”Bellamy said, his voice deep.

“I’ve made of these efforts to find the exact same oneas this ugly shirt you wore that day and you’re telling me you don’t care?That’s rude, Bellam-”

“Clarke, shut up” he said as he put a hand on herwaist and bringing her against his chest. She laughed and put a hand on it. Sheraised her eyes then, to meet his and smiled, biting her lips slowly.

“Could we date?” She repeated as his lips weredescending to hers. She was smiling way to much to be a proper kiss but shedidn’t care and he didn’t seem to either. She fold her arms behind his neck toput him even closer and he almost lost his balance.

“Let’s date” he finally said between kisses.

Octavia Blake posteda new picture of you.

Herewe go. Bellamy and Clarke being the worst couple ever. Delete them from theInternet please.

          Nathan Miller, Jasper Jordan,Raven Reyes and 54 others liked this.

credit to @mrsiriusblack​ for the last manip!

[steroidusr]

etrian odyssey III part 1: prologue

holy shit, it's eo3

As if tacitly admitting it, the Senatus ruling over Armoroad have invited explorers to their city. The invitation drew throngs of eager explorers who gathered to traverse the undersea maze. But none of the throngs who came to challenge that maze were strong enough to master it. The impenetrable ruins came to be known as the Yggdrasil Labyrinth, and its legend spread further... You yourself are an explorer who has heard its legend and now sail to Armoroad to investigate. Your only objective: to challenge the Labyrinth and win fame and fortune. Your hour is at hand!

i love that the whole plot of eo games is "explore this, get rich and famous"

so the first place we can go is the explorers guild and-- ok that looks a little glitchy nds emulation is hard

"I'm here to supervise all the explorers who find themselves in our fair burg. Here's a little something I give every new guild for signing up."

the gradient text box looks cool (he also gives us a cross script, a resolve script, and an offense script. i'll get into what those are for later)

"Think hard, because that name may be known someday across the seven seas. It all depends on you."

HELL YEAH

[i held a vote on our guild name and the channel chose “The Troll Slaiyers”, but that’s too long so i went with just “Slaiyers”]

absolutely not but the people have spoken

"Well then, step two is registering explorers in your guild. You'll need to hire a few folks, but it's up to you whether or not you want to become a member too." At the Explorers Guild, you can register explorers and organize your party. Choose your favored classes from the list and form a party of up to five explorers.

you can talk to npcs in town too

"Even experienced warriors get swallowed up by that Labyrinth every day... If you've come here as weekend warriors, I'll be straight with you: hit the beach instead."

we can choose up to five characters to bring along at a time i should add: characters in the front row take more damage from phys attacks and are more likely to be targeted, so it's better to put characters with high defense/vitality there

[and this is the party the channel voted on]

"Oh, but before you go, let me explain one more thing. It’s about the documents I just gave you along with the guild certificate... Smart explorers actually read them carefully. If you don’t feel like it, just throw them away... But if you hope to go all the way in the Labyrinth, you’d be well-served giving them a look."

In this game, powerful abilities called Limit Skills can be used by up to five party members. Limit Skills can be learned by obtaining documents with the skill details written in them. Gather various Limit Skills and use them well to make your time in the Labyrinth easier.

and then we're sent back to the main town screen, only now all the facilities are available to us. we could go to the senatus first like the guildmaster suggested, or we could check out the other places in town...

ONWARD

FIFTH STRATUM

...and then youre immediately kicked back to the town screen. >:(

FINE

"Then you’d best remember this: You stand in an assembly hall of the Senatus, Armoroad’s government. And I am she who wields the Senatus’ authority to manage explorers such as yourselves. This is where so-called explorers’ skills are tested to sort the true warriors from the cowards. If you want to be recognized as true Armoroad explorers, accept the mission I issue you now."

Carry out these missions to gain various rewards and advance the game’s storyline. Select ”Accept mission” from the menu to see the details.

so there are a few things we can do here. "accept mission", like the game said, lets us accept missions from the senatus. "report results" is how we report completed missions

"report discoveries" lets us log monsters we've encountered and item drops we've won from battles. materials we get from gathering points are logged in the item compendium too. "talk" is self-explanatory:

"Just don’t get lost in the assembly hall on your way here!"

anyway, you have to accept the senatus' mission before you can go into the labyrinth, so let's do that

"The guard there will have more details for you. Look to him before you proceed. Ah, but you must have parchment first, eh? Here is the blank map given to explorers. Use it well."

when she said we have to draw our own map, she wasnt kidding--a big part of the game is drawing a map of each floor on the bottom screen (...uh, i guess it's the "right screen" here) floor tiles are filled out automatically, but you have to draw in the walls and other details yourself

NOW we're free to go into the labyrinth ...but we're not going to yet. actually, doing so now would be a really bad idea

......because we still need to buy equipment

"In that case, welcome to Napier’s Firm. We carry all the weapons, armor, and tools you’ll require. Here at our Firm, the customer is God. We’ll spare no expense for those who line our coffers. Though that is conditional on you participating in a transaction. No window shoppers, please."

you start out with 500en (short for "ental"), which is just barely enough to get your party equipped

(i start by buying shuro's sandals for everyone) ...it says theyre made of shuro tree leaf, so i have a feeling the name shouldve just been "shuro sandals", as opposed to implying there's a dude named Shuro or whatever

i also buy an absurdly expensive shield for homare, because she needs a shield to use her tanky skills, and this is the only one available

aaand we're broke

"Skilled explorers have few qualms at parting with their money. Stinginess never saved a life. All things depend upon money. Your finances dictate whether you master Yggdrasil or die penniless. Remember that. So then, what can I get for you?"

alright, everyone's all equipped. we could go into the labyrinth now, but im gonna check out the rest of town first just to get it out of the way

"Not only can you spend the night here, we have doctors to treat your wounds, too! So, is this your first time in Armoroad? Isn’t it awesome? Those clear seas! Those blue skies!"

we're gonna be seeing a lot of this place

"stay" lets us, obviously, stay at the inn. this fully heals the hp/tp of all (alive) party members. it also passes the time a bit, allowing you to stay at the inn until either the next morning or until nightfall

"treatment" lets us revive dead or petrified party members (later games had dead/petrified party members heal automatically when staying at the inn)

"store" lets us put excess items in storage. this can be pretty useful because we have limited inventory space (and multiples of the same kind of item dont stack)

and "save" is, of course, the most important option of all:

anyway, we're not actually gonna stay here, because there's no need to. also we're totally fucking broke, in case anyone forgot i mean, we WILL stay here, eventually. but not right now.

ah, so youve heard about us...

"They call this the ocean city, ’cuz so many people from across the seas wind up here. I bet you’d enjoy taking a walk around town before you go down into the Labyrinth."

good idea! let's do that

"Well, welcomes to you! This is the Butterfly Bistro, and I am the owner here! Once you finish the mission that the old lady gives all the newbies, I can give you work. ...Until the then time, have some drinkings and chattings with the other explorers here!"

this is where you can accept quests, which are sort of like... mini-missions. tbh there wasnt much reason to do these in eo1 and eo2, cuz the rewards werent too great, but in eo3 they give you exp too, so it's worth it to do as many quests as you can

anyway, let's talk to this dude

(bar patrons dont have character portraits, unfortunately)

"I’m Wolfram, a troubadour. I’ve wended my way from the far north all the way to this ocean city. I’ve been here a long time... I may have a few words of advice about challenging that place."

(troubadours were a class in eo1/eo2. theyre bards, basically)

what should we ask him about first?

"Her sobriquet of the Porcelain Princess comes from her pure, white shining skin... Her voice is like music from the harps of the goddesses; radiant enough to tame monsters! But even the goddesses wouldn’t linger in her presence for having to compete with her face... She is Princess Gutrune, a lovely goddess of Armoroad in her own right! Her visage is the stuff dreams are made of... Though, mind you, I’ve never seen her in person. Each successive princess in Armoroad is named Gutrune. I’ll tell you the reason... later."

what should we ask next?

"A free city of clear skies and white clouds, an endless sea, and a vibrant, eclectic culture!

"...But freedom can’t exist without order. This country does have a royal family. Sadly, the modern royal family has been reduced to mere figureheads... Ah, but who then governs Armoroad? The aristocrats of the Senatus, led by a fearsome old crone! Consider her to be the true power behind Armoroad. You’ll most certainly meet her yourselves. There’s more to Armoroad’s royal family than that, but... Let’s leave that for another time, hm?"

the calamity, AKA the backstory

"But around 100 years ago, the center of Armoroad was suddenly swallowed by the ocean! Afterwards, the rippling waters became tidal waves... The gentle breeze gave way to earthquakes. Armoroad’s advanced technology was sunk, which ended diplomatic relations with nearby countries. It’s been a long road to recovery for Armoroad, but even today, it’s nowhere near what it once was... Not since the Calamity. If you ask anyone here, you’ll get nothing but a stony silence. Then again, that’s just because no one knows exactly what went on 100 years ago! It wasn’t all bad, mind you. After the Calamity, a Labyrinth was revealed, drawing explorers here. Though the Senatus had other reasons for gathering explorers... But that tale can wait for now."

I've Had Enough Of This Guy

"...Ah, but I jest, I jest. Come again, explorers, if you wish to hear my stories."

we have better things to do..... such as talking to the barkeep instead

uh... we're... working on it...

"...Ah, you are just heading out? You may want to gather info before you go in there. Oh, by the by the way, what’s the name of your guild? ...Slaiyers? That’s cool! I will make sure to be remembering it. I am hoping to do a lot of business with you, Slaiyers!"

u///u

alright, there's just one last place i want to check out before the FIFTH STRATUM

"You’ll need permission from the Senatus to go on voyages, so you should seek that out first."

...well, that was pointless

time to FINALLY get this show on the road

[quonit-aceattorney]

1-5 Reaction

Rules:

Q = Me, Quonit.

BF = Bardic Feline, the friend that made me spend 30 dollars on the game and whom I am messaging

I don’t use those when I send the messages close enough my username doesn’t appear.

Any typos (unless they are funny and part of the conversation) will be fixed.

Index

—

Q: I'm doing the next one sorry for all of the messages

wow what was even that opening

what girl?

febuary 2017. I remember this month well.

Q: Who's this girl?

hey she looks like an adult! Second girl without her main feature being boobs :D

no mai is dead I took her spot though, she was in the tutorial level.

:D yay am I better

YES INDEED

yes phoenix please I like this girl a lot

i didn't know my name could also come with one m!!! My name is Emma, I had no idea people could also be named Ema with one m

aww so she isn't an adult I still like her though

phoenix please she's only like 10 years younger than you

BF: Hahahaha yeah, Ema is the Maya stand in for this case

BF: She returns for the fourth game, which takes place 7 years after the third game

BF: Still not very busty, even in her mid twenties haha

Q: :O Interesting!

I like Ema.

Q: What age of people did they think were gonna play this game? If kids then why does it seem they talk down to them so much?

I'll get back to playing

Q: oh so that beginning scene actually meant something

She's know Mia because she was kinda well known

okay why is she bad

how did she even get in teh office in the first place?

hahahaha no im not trading my badge for 50$

what do you mean ''yet''

Q: I LIKE LANA

HER OUTFIT IS GREAT

Q: it's obviously a coincidence that the two siblings are so alike, but if it motivates you then sure I wanna get to the second game

Q: you're telling it from the witness' perspective Lana. Do you remember what happened? What was your motivation?

Q: hi cowboy detective please don't kick me out

what

I AIN'T SCARED OF NO GUN LET ME EXAMINE

Q: why are we having this stepladder conversation again

Q: this office looks like Edgeworth

Q: maybe you wouldn't be low on money if you did your job

Q: five thousand???

MAN edgy must be rich!

BF: The stepladder debate is one of the running gags of the series haha

Q: interesting!

Q: that and Phoenix (and later Apollo and Athena) presenting his badge every chance he gets, and cross-examining non-human witnesses

Q: yaaaaay I liked cross-examining the parrot. 

I still can't believe they let me do that

Q: wait a second the bundle doesn't come with the fourth game just the first 3

oh well it's still a lot

Q: examining the examined. This could be useful.

Q: yeah, no, just the original trilogy

Q: alright, makes sense. Are they still making games for it?

BF: the fourth game came out well after the original trilogy ended, and it only JUST got an updated port to iOS and the 3DS e shop

Q: great an adult woman with a main feature being boobs. I liked the other ones more.

ah, alright. how good/bad is the anime I'm curious

BF: and yes!  in the main series, there are six games total...five and six only came out in digital form for the US, no physical release

don't focus so much on the boobs, it's just drive you crazy

and Angel really isn't THAT busty, she's just got a bust emphasizing outfit

Q: huh, alright. If I feel like it maybe I could get them.

fine. I'm not eating whatever she just handed to me though, she doesn't seem very trustworthy true I guess, not really as bad.

BF: she very much does that on purpose to put you off your guard, btw

she's not EVIL

but she's smart as hell, and she's not necessarily on your side right now.

Q: oh so it's intentional, alright that's more forgiving than the developers just wanted another boob-joke.

Q: angle please we're looking for evidence please stop freaking out Ema

Q: yaaaay edgy! I knew this was your office!

BF: hahaha yep

his office is as frilly as he is

Q: "this office looks like edgeworth"

why is there a dead body in your car that car looks too dirty to be yours it isn't even purple

BF: oh and to answer one of your comments from last night when I was asleep...Phoenix/Edgeworth is an overwhelmingly popular ship, to the point where it can become a bit annoying if you ship either of them with anyone else.

or if you like any of the rarer pairings, period hahah

Q: edgy we know you didn't do it I'm on your side and always will be

except when you're not on my side

With how his dialogue was set up in that chapter I am not surprised how much of the fandom ships it.

Q: Phoenix that was a very cruel joke, remember the case two months ago? Very cruel.

Q: gumshoe isn't dead lol must be mia's fualt he randomly appeared in my head, same with maya

Q: ya why do random flashes of random people keep appearing

how do i investigate this

BF: hah...if it's the bit I think it is, that's just Phoenix connecting him to the INCREDIBLY NEAT AND CLEAN OFFICE

BF: which Gumshoe totally takes times out of his day to keep tidy because that's just the kind of stuff he would do for Mr. Edgeworth, pal!

Q: Well I bet the lunchlady and edgeworth and I'm investigating while edge is in his office.

possibly but phoenix actually commented on "why did i just have ___ randomly appear in my head". whatever I'll keep looking

I guess!

BF: gumshoe just a big old loyal puppy who loves Edgey

lol no that's the reason hahah

Q: gumshoe!!

still needs a better name

Q: I need to copy paste my reaction in a place I'll be able to easily get to later because this will probably be very valuable to me later on.

(Edit: Fuck me for making me do this)

Q: edgy tell me what the trophy thing is

no mumbling

edgy you did good why are you being so defensive over the shield

Q: well the fact it's broken could be important so please tell us

Q: oh ya! I can examine the examined now :D

Q: well 5:12 and 5:15 are very close to each other so this is important that they are so precise

who's this cartoony cop!!! he doesn't look like he's drawn in the same style as everyone else in the game!

Q: noooo i want the report

Q: Edgeworth in the Wild: A Documentary

Q: YABADABADOO

Ema why

Q: huh, so apparently phoenix doesn't just teleport? man that must be so annoying when I don't know where I'm going for them

Q: blue badger looks like a pokemon that is why he seems familiar

Q: yaaay i found gumshoe

ema knows too much poor edgeworth indeed, I hope soon he can get a break

dance till you die

Q: "they make a good pair" so I guess this game isn't against gays, cool.

Q: well i mean the letter probably will get us somewhere if this game is going to progress

Q: oh so is Angel dating Marshal? What a turn of events

yaaaay i can get in now

...I just realized I can use headphones on a DS... Interesting....

Q: the music hahaha. Marshal theme song

Q: don't think too hard on cannibalism and you'll be fine

Q: Marshal is fun

BF: hee hee yeah, I like him.

Q: "well if phoenix showing his badge to everyone is a running joke guess I better help with that by showing it to everyone".

This case is pretty fun so far, not even a single irritating thing yet

BF: LIke Ema and Lana, Jake Marshall is actually deliberately made to be sort of a nod to another pre-existing character haha.

BF: and yeah, Rise from the Ashes is a good case!  I remember finding some of the trial segments to be tricky, but overall, it's solid

tQ: "Noe to self: when finding evidence, think of Texas"

who is this pre-existing character?

BF: and it makes good use of the new mechanics that were introduced for the DS

Q: it does!

BF: you won't meet him until the third game haha

but yeah...Ema and Lana are clearly meant to be nods to Maya and Mia

BF: Jake, less obviously, is sort of a nod to Godot

Q: and thankfully this gets Phoenix motivated again

godot... who's that? I should probably know

BF: Godot plays a MAJOR part in the third game, you'll know him the second you see him.

He...stands out.

to put it mildly.

Q: can't wait to meet him

when will the Y guy (shack guy DL-6) appear again he's already pretty interesting that's probably spoilers

BF: Yanni Yogi?  He only appears in that case, sadly.

though there's a background reference to him in one of the spinoff games.

BF: He's one of Zarla's faves

Q: I assumed... he seems pretty interesting, sad he had to leave so soon. As you saw I was REALLY shocked when a character zarla drew appeared that I didn't even know would be in the game... sad to see him leave so soon.

Q: forgot to talk with Marshall, maybe I can progress through this

oh yay the autopsy report

Q: tell me about yourself marshall, how long has your cowboy career been going on?

why would you kick out gumshoe!!!

D: I don't know if I should break the news to him or not

Q: well that isn't even an option so

the detention center doesn't even update ever

Q: uuuhhhhgggg I hate being stuck like this where can I goooo

Q: still stuck >:( It's been almost an hour

quonit

just let me gooooo

03/24/2018 (Two days later)

Q: FINALLY I DID SOMETHING there was a note in the trunk but it seemed to have done nothing... don't even know if the two people I can talk to would react to it.

as i suspected it did nothing >:(

I think the phone is the key but the only thing it will let me examine is the trap!!!

03/24/2018

Q: I asked my brother to help and he FINALLY HELPED

He found another scroll bar on the examination thing that I never noticed and found it :D

Q: no cowboy pls i really worked hard to get this far

Q: phoenix has a phone? how come we can never use it?

...what do i do with the phone?

how did my brother turn it

= and -... where are those buttons?

Q: going to my brother

Q: why not press the button again???

Q: where do i gooo

Q: i give up I need to draw

BF: hahaaha

BF: aaaah sorry I've been busy unpacking boxes

I wouldn't have even thought to tell you about those double screen investigation rooms!

there are like...at least two of those in this case.

the car park area and the evidence room

Oh, and because this took me FOREVER to figure out when I played it the first time: when you dust for finger prints, you blow the powder away by blowing into the mic on the DS

Q: I don't expect anybody to be on while I send messages. Do not worry, I do not expect responses immediately. Also packing boxes??? did you move :O

double screen investigation rooms? tell me more. If you mean ones where you have to move the screen I did do that a lot... and yet I still can't find much. I finally got the phone in my inventory and tried to check the last call but it still won't do anything THANK YOU FOR TELLING ME THAT IN ADVANCE I GARENTEE I WOULD'VE GOTTEN STUCK

Q: Where I am si that I think I have all of the items in my inventory. A full page and then the phone on the next... am I missing something? I heard that Ema is supposed to tell me that I have everything I need

BF: aaah if you are in the car park, one place you need to check is the muffler of the car

Q: muffler? I got the paper that was in the back, I'll examine the car more I guess

BF: and yeah, the game usually gives you some hint when you've found all the things

BF: I forget if you can get it now or not, but there's some cloth shoved into the tailpipe of the car

Q: dont' think i can thanks though

I'll tell you what I have in my inventory and you tell me what I'm missing for the first part

Q:badge, id card, knife, shield trophy thing, parking stub, blue badge pannel, goddman's autopsy report, note from the back of the car, and cell phone

BF: hmmm....and you've shown absolutely everything to everyone and poked at everything on every available screen?

Q: yeeeesssss

:( I'll try again

BF: (oh and to answer your earlier question, yes, I did move into my house today)

Q: yaaaaay

shouldn't there be a wiki or something for this that says what to do

BF: if you are absolutely stuck, I'd look up the Games FAQ walktrough

Q: :(

why does this game make me so stuck all of the time

BF: https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/ds/925589-phoenix-wright-ace-attorney/faqs/44304    here, this one is spoiler free, you just gotta get down to the right case

Q: :D thank youuuu

Q: :O HEY IT WORKED

HOW DID I NOT NOTICED THIS

Q: Lana why are you not on edgy's side

Q: of course you don't know everything going on here phoenix, if you did we would win but right now we don't win

this game but we know everything beforehand

Don't believe your client, just believe in them. got it.

Q: oh ya angle exists i forgot about her

BF: haha FIGURING OUT WHY LANA IS DOING WHAT SHE'S DOING IS A BIG PART OF THIS CASE

Q: BACK

I had to trim the grass in the front yard. We got an actual letter saying that we needed to so that was odd. It's done now though

angel will never stop talking, and Edge doesn't seem as annoyed as some of the others. huh.

oh my god judge can't you be a little more professional ARE YOU EVEN ALLOWED TO EAT RIGHT NOW

Q: you decline every offer phoenix until an impossible one pops up. Phoenix why

Q: If you hate prosecutors so much then maybe you could help me

please I'm begging

Q: wait you have more then one boyfriend

did i hear that wrong

ugh so she does

"care to join" If that is what I have to do to get information out of you!

BF: hahaha

yes, Angel and her many boyfriends

Q: Ema's notes are funny

BF: this boyfriend, that boyfriend, the other boyfriend

you know, as you do

Q: "the yet another boyfriend is still open"

I'd like to know who is who

Q: wait isn't B block for defense attorneys not visitors?

Q: how she names them reminds me of the chicken 'mine'

"That's mine, that one's also mine, that's another one of mine, that one is yours, and that one is not yours." we actually considered naming our chickens that haha

Q: Ema is learning my table-slamming technique.

Q: "my boyfriend worked in the photography division" WHICH boyfriend?

Q: "Prosecutors are, by nature, well-versed in the location of a man's vital organs" I already had to prove with twice Edgy did NOT murder anybody!

yes phoenix kill the egg

Q: okay so i learnt as much as I could while pressing, and there seems nothing wrong... I need to find the objection item

Q: THE LEFT-RIGHT HAND TRICK

ALWAYS WORKS

Q: EDGEWORTH

HOW COULD YOU SILENTLY SAY OBJECTION YOU HAVE BERTAYED ME

ALWAYS OBJECT

Q: of course it was planned! We already established whoever the killer is planned to do it in edgeworth's car

Q: "mommy, are prosecutors bad people?" hahaha oh my god

yes lets tell the audience how to commit murder

edgy that pun was terrible and you know it

Q: Ema what is that note

you can't smell his breath from over here what

I do have an objection!

Q: I'd like to know how she got into the food business

Ema you're on MY side

Q: remember?

Q: it's so rare when the thing I immediately think of and object with actually works and the characters see what i see

Edgy you look like you're on my side

Q: Ema do you hate me

Q: The person that seems most on my side in this case is f***ing edgeworth and he is actually the one pitted against me so you're all failures.

Q: >:(

I got so stuck at this part and had to retry a few times and I finally gave up and went to the tutorial and that isn't helping

FLOOR PLANS WHY DON'T YOU WORK

Q: :(

Q: Why can't I just gooooo none of the evidence I have works at all

Q: I PROGRESSED AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT I PRESSED

UHHHH

Q: OHMYGOD THE FLOOR PLANS FINALLY WORKED

WHAT CHANGED

Q: she'd lie because as I said she has a grudge

Q: five minuets???

wow that's a long time

Q: if you have evidence please tell me

how was this judge hired

WHY THE SHOE WHY DO YOU HAVE HIS SHOE

what is this blood type it could also be common

Q: why does edgy continue to seem like he is on my side lol

Q: that brings in the question: how many lunches do you actually have in there

Q: if it does how come she was blee- oh ya the hand injury

Q: ohhh to wash away the bloood okaaaay

now to defeat you edgy

Q: Okay so more then one photo, I NEED MORE PHOTOS.

Q: Mia thank youuuuu

oooo the fun music started playing, im onto something

Q: "Yeah! (I'll think later" is the best line in the game

IT SUMS UP THE THOUGHT PROCESS WHEN I PLAY THE GAME

Q: Salmon swimming upstream in a river of quicksand

ya sounds like Phoenix

Q: the muffler in the muffler

Bad feeling about following advice given to you by Marshell??? What a silly thought!

Is something wrong edgy? why are you so upset?

what is bothing you Eedgy pls tell me

OH MY GOD ANOTHER SUPRISE CHARACTER HOW HOW IS HE IN ACE ATTOURNY WHAT ??????????????????????????????????????????????????

is he just gonna stand there or...?

Q: Udgey... that's a new one

afriad indeed, terrified I might say.

Wrighto... also new

Q: when i send my live reaction to the game should i have more context to what is going on

Q: rereading it i think i should

Q: I've been taking more pictures of art I wanna send you but it still isn't doing anything

Q: Alright so i opened the Ace Attorney save file and I have no idea where i am. I'm pretty sure this is right after the first trial

tiny village... where am i and why

i think this isn't my file??

BF: I was about to say...

Q: ruinion and turnabout?

what? something is wrong

BF: if you are in a tiny village, the only one I know of is Kurain. and you don't go there the first time until 2-2

yeah, you are in game 2 there

that's Maya's village.

Q: we fixed it!

My brother wanted to play and he mistook the game two save files as extra save files and he just decided "fuck it im not waiting for her to finish" and just started playing through

interesting :o

OH YA WE'RE TALKING WIT THIS GUY :D

swimming? why that specifically?

little worthy? is that a name?

DISTRICT OF THE POLICE UH NO I DON'T KNOW THIS GUY

aww so if he's number one he probably won't be on my side :(

damon gant, I like this guy

OH YA I forgot about edgeworth! Worthy haha didn't think of that nickname yet. I'll add it to the list. He must be very scared of this man

BF: hahah yesss Gant is great.

Q: so a muffler is a scarf? is that just another name for a scarf or is it a type of scarf?

he just keeps standing there and blinking

edgy back on this feet, finally stopped just sitting there silently in what I'm assuming is anger and fear

BF: it's a type of scarf. I can't tell you what exactly makes a muffler a muffler though. they just wanted to use the pun, though, I think

aaah the Gant stare.

Q: they seem to love naming puns, not just the people's names now.

"That's not fair!" There are a lot of things that aren't fair in this world, edgy.

Q: A WRITTEN APOLOGY

That kid from earlier in the audience: mommy is this how trials usually go? Mom: no. I am not even sure what is going on.

BF: hahah trust me, the pun names get more intense with each game.

Q: I feel bad for edgy haha

I can't wait

oh my god SOMEBODY JUST OPEN THE KNIFE

Q: THEY ADDED  A CLAPPING SOUND FOR HIM

I DID NOT EXPECT THIS

Q: ...the note may have something to do with this

but along with everything else i think of in this game it's probably wrong

nah okay

Q: time to look through my items another 20 minuets and hope the character see what I see

Q: when in doubt press on everything

Q: good job ema! I'll examine the knife!

Q: SL-2... something similar  that wasn't a tag. again was it the note

OH MY GOD IT WAS THE NOTE

Me and gant both love 'objection'. I'm still mad at Edgy for that. I will hold it against him forever.

BF: hahaha NEVER FORGIVE YOU EDGEWORTH

BF: you and your habit of updating the autopsy report

Q: "Do you have evidence?"

"yes! (I'll think later)" is still the best line in the entire game

a habit of mine? is that not something everybody does?

I feel so honored being told "I win, Wrighto!"

BF: heh

Q: :D He'll tell me about the knife now!!!

Q: I only get to hear bout one thing.... better choose wisely.

Where the victem was found could help, seems like it could work How the victim was killed could be a little more risky but all of these are pretty good When the victim died... it could also be 5:15, and I could find a way to show it was planned... but I'm not sure

there probably wont be any consequences though

I'll roll my di

Q: it's 1 so i guess we're going with that

Q: didn't we GO to the evidence room?

Q:

Gant: :long stare: Gant: You two make a great pair! I swear this is intentional. It's not even just that chapter.

Q:

Gant: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Gant: :long stare: Gant: Sure why not! well alright then! I'm learning about it unofficially :D This is already very casual so why not

Q: why is the victims gender there

that is unimportant WE WANT TO KNOW ABOUT HE MURDER

Q: Gumshoe won't die Phoenix he was in the credits!

Q: alright now not only is edgeworth being called worthy he's being called little worthy

do these two know eachother???

Q: that id is the same as the one we have here >:O

Q: :D the fun music is playing

Q: EDGY REMEMBER WHEN HE SAID HE COULDN'T TELL YOU WERE THE CORPS WAS FOUND

IT'S ALL ON YOU EDGY IT'S ALL ON YOU.

 Q:EDGY WHY DID YOU JUST SHOO OFF MEEKENS

IT'S STILL ALL ON YOU BUT MUCH MORE DIRECTLY YOU THIS TIME

Q: oh my god NOW WE'RE DOING NICKNAME PUNS

Q: hehehe FINALLY Edgy looks like the fool instead of me :D

Q: What i think happened is that they were killed, and their body was dragged through the back of their care, and brought here

oh boy angel's back

Q: Oh my god ANOTHER CASE

WE ALREADY DID DL-6 UGH THIS MUST AT LEAST HAVE AN INTERESTING STORY

Q: What I think happened: somebody killed the detective, put the body in the back of edgy's car, Edgy drove back to where he should, left, later the girl opened the back. something about her stabbing him.

Q: no that doesn't fit

screw this case

Q: oh no I'm defending Meekens now too???

Meekens just looks a lot more cartoony then everything else

Q: why did they let him bring a megaphone

Q: oh so goodman's the villain.

BF: uhhhh...nooot exactly, no

Q: i learnt that quickly

I found gant again! he has his own theme song. Sounds like a king.

Q: Honestly I still feel bad for Edgeworth, hope he gets out of this.

Q: uhhhggggg I just got stuck i really wanna figure this out fast instead of wandering around forever. Not sure if it's just with me or if this game just needs better... instructions maybe?

Q: In court when your stuck press everything. In over world when stuck talk to everyone again, present every piece of evidence again, and examine everything again. Then still find yourself stuck.

BF: this case is one of the worst for that sort of thing, I'll admit. I've played it multiple times and there are still places where I forget how to proceed

Q: I don't like using the tutorial at all but I've had to use it twice to proceed, at least I have that. When this game came out people would just be stuck and never get to f***ing leave, and when they did they would be like "THAT WAS IT THE WHOLE TIME I MUST BE DUMB". Are the later games better at this?

Gant: If somebody just walked up to me and asked for 50$, i'd give them 50$! in that case can i have 50$

Q: You know I want to get to the evidence room but why not let's just sit here and talk with Marshell for another 6 hours

Q: I can finally go the the evidence room yaaaay

Q: See, Gumshoe's got the right idea on those 50$

BF: it varies by case, I'm not going to lie!

Game 2 has some added trickiness because it introduces a new mechanic during investigation mode.

said method is a touch more refined in the third game.

Q: in your opinion what is the best game (random question)

general stuff happens, i didn't comment on it

Q: I'm sorry, the game wants me to go to the secret room, do all these things, get no sign that I found then all, and then go to edgeworth's office???

HOW ARE WE SUPPOSED TO FIGURE THAT OUT

Q: fine a little bit of a clue but this case really wants players to get stuck

Q: OH MY GOD WHY IS THE BELLBOY HERE DOESN'T HE WORK SOMEWHERE ELSE

Q: hahahaha I can see how you got stuck when the game told you the blow, It did NOT specify in the mic.

Q: non bloody prints???

I can't choose any of the fingers and all 5 are bloody! what do you want me to do im stuck on this sceen

Q: my brother helped :D

BF: heh

BF: Um...my favorite...well, tough to say.  Obviously, I'm particularly stuck on game 2, though on retrospect game 4 is pretty fascinating (both for what it is and what it could have been)

BF: Generally speaking, most people agree that game 3 is the best of the original trilogy, though (game 2 isn't hated, but it has this ONE CASE that is near universally hated)

BF: Of the spinoffs, I'm personally partial to the second Ace Investigations, though that one you can only play in English via  a fanpatch

I'm still playing game 6, so I don't know how I'd rank that one just yet

and there are two spin off titles that I have no way of playing in English at all right now, which is frustrating. No idea where I'd rank either of them. but the animation for those is PRETTY.

BF: Oh, but if you get a chance, one game I strongly recommend that was created by the original creator of Ace Attorney that isn't an Ace Attorney game (though it is allegedly set in the same universe) is a game called Ghost Trick.

Q: Interesting! I'll be sure to check out ghost trick. I wonder if I'll be able to tell what the hated case in 2 is when I get to it...

BF: hahah I'm willing to bet you'll figure it out. I personally liked the case, but it has some issues for sure

Q: alright. I was gonna start playing again if you still want me to send you the endless messages that give you no context to where i am or what im reacting to

BF: AMONG said issues is that it does what no other case had ever done before it, and it has a couple of cross examinations where you can get frigging penalized for a bad PRESS

Q: oh no D:

BF: It warns you when you get to it, but it's still really annoying

taking away my ability to badger the witness without repercussion!

but yeah no, feel free to ramble, I'm just here working and rewatching episodes of the Maxx

Q: >:(

I saw a post and thought of the judge from this game. "The judge could sentence you guilty for murder wearing hello kitty pajamas under their robe and you would never know” yaaaay

Q: About to go to the court thing. FINALLY lana is back it's been a while >:(

Q: oh yay lana gets to be a witness

nvm im a moron the cartoon guy i forgot his name gets to be

MEEKENS YOU'RE NOT THE KILLER

THAT IS NOT AN OCCUPATION RIGHT

Q: there seems to be a lot of talking down to kids in this game :(

Q: why do people let him bring his megaphone

same answer with the kid and his sword

Q: i mean i like the blue badger

Q: bet the tape won't help much

HEY ITS ANIMATED

well hey it was a little helpful

Q: 

Edge: :slams hand on desk: What the hell was that wriggling piece of plywood!?

my new second favorite line

Q: the problems was he was wearing gloves

probably not that's what first comes to mind though

Q: or the light was already on

Q: gloves were rubber? how did i not notice that

Q: why would he need the gloves in there if he was goodman

Q: he could've stolen the card

who is the 777... card at the top

Q: WHY IS THE KID STILL IN THE AUDIENCE

WHY TO PARENTS TAKE THEIR KIDS TO MURDER TRIALS I'D LIKE TO SPEAK WITH THIS CHILD AND EXPLAIN TO THEM THAT MAYBE YOU SHOULD'VE ACTUALLY WENT TO THE TRIAL WHERE I DEFENDED EDGEWORTH IF YOU STILL THINK HE'S SO BAD

Q: :D I think edge just complimented me, it's probably going to turn into an insult though so ill just enjoy it while i can

Q: fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck youuuuuuuuu

Q: the fake killed goodman not lana

no that wouldn't work dammit screw you

Q: HEY GUMMY HOW ARE YOU

NO GUMMY STAY

HEYHEYHEYHEY HEY WHAT

awww lana's finally being useful

Q: Ema don't run it's just a serial killer

Gummy why >:(

saaave pooiiinnt

oh my god Marshell i forgot his personality

Q: please provide me with a reasonable explanation why there were bloody handprints of yours in the evidence room (and no ID saying you signed in but i think i just missed something on that)

Q: somebody actually messes up in grammer in court and one of them yells objection but its about the grammer and they keep fighting about i

Q: edgy don't worry just let me get to my menu my lack of experience means nothing

wait is he giving me advice? is he being nice???

Q: noooo just let him beeee

or not his reasoning was okay though

Q: At first i was sad to find out it was his brother now im just thinking COWBOY PROSECUTOR THAT WOULD BE FUN

Q: what do you think happened to your brother jake

Q: MY DEFENDANT DID NOT KILL HIM AND YOU KNOW IT

YOU JUST DON'T ACKNOWLEDGE IT FOR MONEY

you know i could put that anywhere in almost any case and it could still work (with a pronoun swap but aside from that)

Q: ARRRRRGGHHHHHH

Q: OH MY GOD I FORGOT ABOUT YOU

YOU DO GET THIS IS PROBABLY ILLEGAL RIGHT

Q: edgy is being very nice to her yay

I MEAN EMA YOUR NOT USELESS YOU STOPPED HIM FROM GIVING THE VERDICT TWICE

THAT WAS SOMETHING NOT EVEN MIA COULD DO HE GAVE THE VERDICT AND I BEAT HIM ANYWAYS THOUGH SO :/

Edgy is used to me making claims with the idea "I'll think about it later" in mind of course hes going to scoff at everything i say

I PROBABLY WOULD

YA THREE WHILE PAGES OF EVIDENCE THAT'S A LOT

Q: hey hey jake's back i was wondering where he went

Q: "Just one moment! I will not let such far-fetched balderdash in my court room"

HAHA VERY FUNNY JUDGE. AS IF THIS IS THE MOST FAR FETCHED THING YOU'VE SEEN HERE.

YAAAY PHOENIX GOOD JOB

Q: why is everybody immediately blaming edgy again I already defended him from two murders WHEN A VERDICT WAS ALREADY GIVEN

Q: stop being so mean to edgy

Q: hi lana please help me

ocassionally what what i didn't understand what they said i need to know

awww how dare you now your going to get all three of us in trouble

Q: that kid in the audience actually as an adult took the weirdest trials hes been to and put his own characters in it and made it into a game

oh my god the noise of the crowed is so terrifying because it's on repeat i need to turn the sound off

Q: saaave

Q: good think ema isn't dead

Q: Ema it’s not yours its your sisters putting blame on yourself just leads to depression okay

Q: to lana. MAYBE SHE'LL FINALLY BE USEFUL

YAAAAY

Q: Deal with the devil as a minor so that when your older he doesn't have a legal claim to your soul.

that's unrelated and unhelpful but

Q: now to show you every single piece of f***ing evidence

Q: or not

HI MARSHELL

Q: do do do

do do ddoo dodo doo dodo do doooo ddo do dooo dooo doDOdodoooo

(Edit: do do doooo

do doooo

do doooo

(now go reread it from the top with those last two as the start) )

Q: no marshel come baaaaaack 

noooooo

Q: I just wanna get to 2-4

quonit

:D

Things are going well!

HE STARTED LUAGHING IM SCARED

LHIS LAUGHING IS TERRIFYING

Q: :D Thank you Jake!

Q: Well gant does make a good point

Also about you paying my rent Edgy

Q: I wonder if there are anymore choices or it it's just dialogue.

did I win??

Lana smiled at me :D

"stop it mah you're embaressing meeee" is how this dialogue feels like

Q: yaaaaay I win

Q: awww ema I she'll say she's proud of you too

Gummy you keep doing this

bring him back

Lana :D

Q: Maya will be very proud of me when she comes back

awww hugs!!!

wait edgy was hiding why is he angry

aww ty

Is Lana making you scared I'm pretty sure she was your boss at some point or something I forgot at this point

Q: oh nooo Gant make Edgy scared of who he might be in 10 years. Somebody teach him not to do that.

Q: Aww thanks Lana

the difference between you gant and vampire is that you have friends doesn't that makes you feel better

Q: bye edgyyyy

Edgeworth you keep saying that and it's wrong every time >:( please stop breaking promises

what a storybook ending

OH HI GUMMY

couldn't you make edgy do it instead i don't have money

BF: Did you notice you could do fingerprint powder on the bottom screen during the credits?

Q: ya! Can i blow it too?

BF: Make bonus images appear haha

Yep!

Q: :D

After this i need to sleep this is fun though!

time for game two :D

Q: will blue badger get to stay though is my question

Q: Hey so Angel will be on my side, it will just be in the next game!

Q: I really do think the judge it wearing hello kitty pajamas under that robe

Q: credits done! That was very satisfying :D

[survivorelsalvador]

EPISODE 2 - The Resident Messiest Players (TM) In The World - Dana

(If a confessional is just a gif or a picture then it was most likely Veronica, winner of Jeju Island, uwu <3)

LILY

Pissed doesn't begin to describe how I feel about this fucking tribe. Literally two people are complete dead weight. Lexi and Kyle don't do fucking shit. Might I note I'm normally a very nice person ask my fellow comrades on Bahamas but this tribe sucks. Literal worst tribe I have been on and probably will ever be on. If this wasn't robs game I would probs quit. The only blessing is jake on my tribe but he also voted to get rid of Adrian so what the fuck. We will lose every challenge now and in fine with going home next so I can get away from the stupid people on this tribe. Lexi hasn't even messaged me back! Very rude. I have no respect. And I know I suck because I fell asleep last night but damn. Why couldn't they have at least voted for me last night to put me out of my misery???? Damn. Kyle and Lexi were excused from this challenge well fuck, you can be excused from my life! I'm so sorry Adrian I have failed you twice. I didn't see you going at all this week. I'm going to make sure everyone on this tribe loses this game because of this vote. I can't believe how stupid this tribe is seriously. I guess if Kyle and lexis plan is to lose every challenge then they are doing great. But yeah no I doubt it. Let's see if I blow up the tribe in the one world chat...

WILL

So everything's pretty chill right now, but I am worried that I've literally been carrying my tribe through these challenges so far like I got the highest score both times and this time in particular we may not have won if I hadn't done as well. We also got lucky that like half the other tribe didn't try or even do the challenge though but like.... yikes ugh I don't want people to rely on me too much or even think I'm some sort of challenge threat

ZAKRIAH

King of being a threepeater and not making an episode one confessional Well either way I'm back to get 8th for the third sequence season in a row

KAI

This round seems really quiet... I'm not sure if that's because everyone busy or something xD but I feel really left out of this tribe if they're not busy

WILLOW

Imdividual rewards kinda stress me out lmao

ZAKRIAH

I ain't winning this game

WILL

Like I'd say I'm sorry but Regan's really good at giving me new reasons to not trust her and be upset with her, like at least TRY to be a good sport and dont just leave one world every time something doesn't go your way? Like? Is that how the game works? No? That's unfortunate

--------

Anyways if I get voted out of sequence again because of Regan I'm literally gonna fight someone

JAKE

I have been doing terrible so far in this game. I've only played one of three challenges, and I went to tribal. I really want to step my game up, so that is what I plan to do.

LILY

One, sorry about that last confessional. I was so frustrated with how this game was going but damn did it turn around. I did really well in dolphin olympics and got to pick out of pretty much everyone. I was so sad I didn't get to play with chips in Bahamas so I needed this chance to be on the same tribe. Looking forward to meeting the rest of my tribe and hopefully be a lot better than last time Apopa. #PlayingForApopa

DANA

Writing a quick confesh now that we've swapped tribes and my tribe is complete. Listen, things were lookin STELLAR. Nicholas is one of the reward winners, and chooses me! My queen! I was so pleased! Nicholas is totally a fav and i'm thrilled to be on a tribe with him. At this point I know I have a pretty good pick and I'm immediately thinking about who I can get that will prioritize being loyal to me. I think of Zak and Willow first. I played with both of them in Solomon and showed them I was loyal by voting with them when we were all on a tribe together. The only problem? Willow and Zak are absolutely closer with each other than they are with me. At this point in the game, i'm thinking that's pretty irrelevant though, because right now I just need numbers. I know if I pick one, they will pick the other and that automatically gives me the ability to at least join up with them and force a tie on my new tribe.  Assuming Nicholas wants to work with us in a vote, which he has since confirmed he does, we get a 4-2 majority. Sounds amazing. I end up picking Willow first, because she certainly has less experience in the game then Zak and in the event we hadn't gotten Zak, I think Willow is a safer bet. For example, on day 2 of the game Willow asked me how she should be playing one world... like if she should pm people or not... and that ask for guidance is something that is easy to work with. anyways, we get Zak too. And at this point I'm thinking. Have I ever been in a better position in a game? Like I have Nicholas on one side, and Zak and Willow on the other. I bring everyone together, and I am at the pinnacle of this alliance. Genius. Then Zak trashes my dreams of perfection and picks Regan. Idk if they are friends or what, but I've heard A LOT about Regan in this community. She 100% gets the benefit of the doubt right now from me, but I know Nicholas was NOT happy to see her. Then true tragedy strikes. Like I must have done something REALLY BAD in one of these games in my past life, because I am surely being tricked. Regan's pick has me contemplating my own mortality in this game and asking the survivor gods why I'm being punished. The unbelievable happens, and his name is Jaiden. So Nicholas and I JUST voted Jaiden out in Athena Bahamas, where he and I had a cracked relationship and he kind of snapped a few times toward the end. I know... HOW DID THIS HAPPEN?! I can't work with this snake. He's a nice guy, but I just wrote an 8pg confessional in Bahamas, most of which closely detailed every lie Jaiden ever told me. Moreover, he tried to fancy idol me out of Bahamas, and luckily another fancy idol brought me back in. There is just too much recent history with Jaiden for me to forget and trust him in this game. I mean I really feel like i'm having war flashbacks except they're not flashbacks at all and Jaiden is here squirming his way back into my life. Nicholas and I start going OFF in pms about how shook we are about this pick and how it literally makes our games so much harder than they need to be. Because even though Jaiden is King Mess, he is also great at getting idols and advantages. More to come later, but until then, I'll leave you with this: [6/12/17, 8:13:20 PM] nicholas: literally pour the bleach regan picked jaiden [6/12/17, 8:14:53 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): I AM LITERALLY SCREAMING

RICHIE

whew i threw that reward challenge bc i did too well in the first immunity only because apparently im a spanish speaking icon??? but im so happy i didnt win the reward because it meant that i didnt have to be the first to pick a new tribe mate and draw attention to myself and i got picked by chips who is literally one of my favorite humans i've met in this world and i'm so excited to play together!!! and i picked ashton because i wanted to pick someone from my original tribe and after nicolas who was already chosen ashton was the person i talked to more during our short stay on the usul tribe.... now i have to talk to lily austin and jake but at least i feel content knowing that if we lose i dont think i would be first boot on this tribe???????  

WILL

I'm literally sCREAMING three different people all sent me the same receipts of Regan ~~~exposing~~~ me for being a "liar" GHJKLK like this is SO funny to me that everyone's running to me with these (like obviously Nicholas and Dana are my friends but Jaiden?? wants drama! i love it!) this game is literally on day 3 and it has more drama than i was ready for oh my goddddddd

DANA

I'm dropping this conversation from tribe chat into confessionals because I was CACKLING when this happened. I'm just trying to keep things ~funky fresh~ in El Salvador despite being stuck with the resident Messiest players™ in the world @Jaiden @Regan. Tonight, I'm feelin like a true comedy queen though. Check this strategically placed comedic relief. [6/13/17, 10:57:27 PM] Regan: look [6/13/17, 10:57:31 PM] Regan: I just get messy in games [6/13/17, 10:57:49 PM] jaiden: well [6/13/17, 10:57:50 PM] jaiden: same [6/13/17, 10:58:03 PM] jaiden: Dana knows. [6/13/17, 10:58:05 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): greetings jaiden [6/13/17, 10:58:22 PM] jaiden: I hope you send the right person to jury in Bahamas <3 [6/13/17, 10:59:07 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): another friend will join u soon [6/13/17, 10:59:10 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): maybe me [6/13/17, 10:59:16 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): who can say [6/13/17, 10:59:26 PM] jaiden: we'll see [6/13/17, 10:59:54 PM] Rob (Salvador, Aegean, & Bouvet Host): It me [6/13/17, 11:00:03 PM] nicholas: hi [6/13/17, 11:00:32 PM] jaiden: Nicholas and Dana on this tribe? may as well accept my elimination [6/13/17, 11:01:00 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): hey listen we’re winnin this challenge and not thinking about tribals [6/13/17, 11:01:25 PM] jaiden: :| [6/13/17, 11:01:32 PM] jaiden: I just don't know if I can believe that [6/13/17, 11:02:21 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): pls i dont want anyone to go, we’re friends again, remember? [6/13/17, 11:02:48 PM] nicholas: same [6/13/17, 11:02:54 PM] nicholas: I’m here for a good tome [6/13/17, 11:02:56 PM] nicholas: time [6/13/17, 11:02:56 PM] jaiden: hmm. [6/13/17, 11:02:59 PM] nicholas: not a long time [6/13/17, 11:03:30 PM] jaiden: until you flip on a revote and tell everyone in our alliance to do the same and then continue to say "well I will do anything for ur game bc I don't want to win (sun) [6/13/17, 11:03:55 PM] Regan: Jaiden omg [6/13/17, 11:03:57 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): idk her because i never did that :) [6/13/17, 11:04:01 PM] Regan: throwback to bbhell [6/13/17, 11:04:02 PM] Regan: because [6/13/17, 11:04:05 PM] Regan: Shelby said [6/13/17, 11:04:07 PM] Regan: the entire game [6/13/17, 11:04:10 PM] Regan: hey I don't want to win [6/13/17, 11:04:12 PM] Regan: you have to win [6/13/17, 11:04:15 PM] jaiden: but Nicholas sure did [6/13/17, 11:04:16 PM] Regan: and still didn't vote for me [6/13/17, 11:04:31 PM] jaiden: omg!!! Nicholas told me the same thing and still threw my game under the bus for his benefit!! [6/13/17, 11:05:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): new game, who dis [6/13/17, 11:05:13 PM] jaiden: hurt feelings carry over hehe [6/13/17, 11:05:15 PM] jaiden: <3 [6/13/17, 11:05:30 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): hmm interesting [6/13/17, 11:05:49 PM] nicholas: . [6/13/17, 11:05:56 PM] nicholas: jaiden are u literally inbred [6/13/17, 11:06:00 PM] nicholas: all offense [6/13/17, 11:06:08 PM] nicholas: I’ve been nothing but nice to you [6/13/17, 11:06:10 PM] jaiden: you're in bread binch [6/13/17, 11:06:25 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): I am bread binch [6/13/17, 11:06:52 PM] nicholas: grrrrr [6/13/17, 11:07:24 PM] jaiden: go growl at someone else furry freak [6/13/17, 11:07:36 PM] nicholas: . [6/13/17, 11:08:31 PM] Willow: I have no idea whats happening ahh [6/13/17, 11:09:01 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): we’re talking about themes for flags! [6/13/17, 11:09:05 PM] nicholas: yes [6/13/17, 11:09:12 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): and Nicholas and Jaiden are in a lil tiff over it [6/13/17, 11:09:22 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): because they both have a lot of passion for design [6/13/17, 11:09:27 PM] jaiden: actually I'm plotting my revenge, baby [6/13/17, 11:09:31 PM] jaiden: it's all about revenge [6/13/17, 11:12:11 PM] nicholas: anyways hmu when u learn to separate games! [6/13/17, 11:12:25 PM] Regan: OMG [6/13/17, 11:12:27 PM] Regan: guys want tea [6/13/17, 11:12:29 PM] jaiden: hmu when you know how to be a loyal ally in any of them!!!!!!!!! [6/13/17, 11:12:30 PM] Regan: do u want tea about will [6/13/17, 11:12:43 PM] Regan: okay so he was supposed to pick me [6/13/17, 11:12:48 PM] Regan: because we talked a lot [6/13/17, 11:12:57 PM] Regan: but unless I said id pick willa josh said he couldn't pick me [6/13/17, 11:13:02 PM] Regan: and also will said [6/13/17, 11:13:06 PM] Regan: because of jeju [6/13/17, 11:13:10 PM] Regan: hes never trusting me in a game [6/13/17, 11:13:15 PM] Regan: shows he cant separate games either [6/13/17, 11:13:24 PM] jaiden: is this a call out Regan [6/13/17, 11:13:26 PM] nicholas: him & jaiden would be good together huh [6/13/17, 11:13:26 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): trust is all fucking relative [6/13/17, 11:13:35 PM] Dana Barry (Bouvet Islands Host): pls i dont even trust myself [6/13/17, 11:13:48 PM] nicholas: me This tribe is WILD. Have we talked about a flag? No. Will we lose? Almost definitely. I'm inclined not to even give a fuck if we lose, but then again, maybe someone handed Jaiden another Sapphire idol and my ass is out of here.

KAI

I mean... we didn't win HOWEVER WE DIDNT LOSE EITHER... so...

WILLA

Damn I thought our flag was cute but shit that other flag was incredible this should be a double tribal tbh send me home i got that flag in my brain that is enough for me cya

WILL

....anyways y'all need to stop trying to drag me into drama this isn't the game for that this is not the time nor the place

-----------

wow regan's really about to let some random get to her just by saying random clearly false things huh? that's... a look.... i love one world yes i do

JAIDEN

I'll send a longer confessional later but I'm gonna make sure Nicholas goes.

KYLE

regan is racist

AUSTIN

My only friends are basically ribbons who's acting psycho, Lexi who quit, regan who ppl hate, and Jake/Lilly. Also somebody wanted to pick regan during the swap but then didn't bc regan wanes to pick me so lols! I think I said this last time but I'm probably getting voted out for like 15th ish

NICHOLAS

ASHTON

Well I've still only talked to Richie so you know really doing good in that aspect. I'm happy he's on my tribe then cuz I don't think he will vote me out. Overall i'm worried im if my tribe loses But not too worried cuz i think i can get the target onto somebody else.

NICHOLAS

hi so there are 2 psychos on my tribe and i hope one of them leaves or i leave either way its going to be a huge win! yeehaw!

JOSH

HI I'M SUBMITTING SO I DON'T GET A STRIKE. So, I won the challenge that split us up into tribes so that was a wee bit iconic, if you ask me??  I chose to go with Will because he's who I have bonded with most and I really trust him so far.  I think that him, Willa, Kai, & I are kind of an unspoken thing?  Which I'm okay with them because I really enjoy them.  I think that my tribe should continue to win immunity because we sl@y and it's kind of my arc in Survivor Sequence to not go to TC without immunity in the pre-merge phase.  I CAN'T RUIN THAT STREAK??  I'VE COME TOO FAR FOR THAT TO HAPPEN.  I think there should only be a few more people that have to go home before we merge.  AND I HOPE that one of them is Regan.  I love her but she is on some rant about how she wants me out once we hit merge and like??  She's blaming the fact that SHE DIDN'T KNOW WHO I WAS on why I didn't pick her.  LIKE IT IS MY FAULT THAT SHE HAD NO IDEA THAT I WAS THIS JOSH.  so now it's all my fault.  i'm so mad. anyways.  hopefully this next immunity is FUN.

MICHEAL

At first I had a solid allince then the tribe swap happened and everyone dosent really want to work together

RICHIE

lily made a really creative flag! we won! im happy to be safe! nothing else has happened !!!

WILLOW

I feel bad for loosing the challenge and majority wants Jaiden out but he's active and deserves to be here, and so I'm gonna vote him out anyway but

REGAN

So I will definitely do more around midnight. but  I love my new tribe this tribal is so hard but  i understand if go, but I think Jaiden is. WHo knows, I could be being lied to. I want nicholas to go because he likes to ignore me but he clearly wont because everyone loves him idgi. Like who are you?? ive been here for 2 years Im more of an icon than you

ZAKRIAH

I'm probably being voted out and if I am I'll be really sad bc I didn't get 8th or 16th :(