#i should just suck it up you know? people have it worse then me I should just work in fastfood like everyone else and stop whining bc its
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dykedvonte · 18 hours ago
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I think a big misunderstanding is the power people give Curly to actually change things about the way the pony express operates or could’ve done things on the Tulpar.
We are talking about a company that docks pay for bad synergy despite mandated psych evals that should tell which staff members would work well together, only allots for 5 hours of sleep despite having literally no other tasks to truly do and locks all resources behind the access of one person. The last one is likely to manage resources and make it easier to justify collective punishment and blaming one person for it; someone needs something in “excess” or the captain gives in? It’s all on them your pay is docked. Instant resentment.
It’s insidious how the company works, it’s by design to distract you from coming after them, to force tensions to line their own pockets. With all the restrictions and forced interactions, altercations are bound to happen. 5 hours of sleep a day, limited sources of entertainment, no real tasks… the monotony alone would cause bad cabin fever, mix that with just only one absolute mediator and you get the exact environment that allows shit like in the game to happen.
The idea he could just complain and try to throw his weight around to get them to dig into their pocket for the crews comfort is laughable and misses the predatory and dehumanizing aspect of capitalism the Pony Express represents. Curly was and is still just another asset to them. Being a top show pony doesn’t mean he’s anywhere close to the actual top. He is the top of the working ladder, not whoever’s in corporate, he wouldn’t even be on the bottom step unlike what Jimmy perceives. The resounding recommendations he would get are almost mocking as they throw him out like nothing just like the rest. Being a shitty fucking company, how much do you bet they’d mean anything anyways, especially since he wanted to leave the field all together.
He made a fuss and they didn’t listen, he says he should’ve done more but you can tell he knows it wouldn’t have changed anything. Jobs like this are willing to make a sacrifice if it means even a penny more. Curly makes a bigger fuss they likely would’ve just found an “unrelated” reason to fire him, hired a more pliable guy or, terrifyingly, promoted Jimmy. The company was failing, going to shut down whether anything happened on the ship or not. But knowing that they were shutting down and that everyone, including him, would be out of a job with this being their last paycheck, he had to factor in not destroying the last bit of their financial stabilities combined with every other issue on the vessel and his own. He gets another cryopod or locks and then he has to break to them that they are not only fired but there will be substantial cuts to their paychecks due to the “upgrades” (things that already should’ve been in place on their part) on top of anything else that could be docked along the way.
You can blame him for saying it so early into the trip but then again, if he mentioned it later who’s to say it wouldn’t have been worse? On the capitalism side alone how would people in a galaxy away from home, out of a job and already stir crazy react? Don’t get me started on how Jimmy would have reacted if he realized he only had two days left to fix what would be a very hard to miss “problem” in his head…
I can’t even consider explaining this as devils advocate because it’s just facts of the world we and they live in and factors that heavily affected the situation. People are just so quick to make claims on the ease of the choices when P.E literally makes it hard to choose to do anything but suck it up.
#this is also like a sort of point that while I wanted Curly to do more for Anya I realized he would have to jeaporsiE the crews safety in#some way like if they needed the cryopods one person would be left without one and like it would be curly he’d offer but don’t think any of#them would be happy or feel okay with letting him die over a rapist? he kills Jimmy and now he has to stand trial and be arrested for murder#because it’s not self defense or manslaughter like they could obviously lie but he wouldn’t let them do that in case of a sort of black box#or guilt on their mind specifically with Daisuke who would likely be kept out of the loop not to mention it’s a dead body with a limited#likely recycled air supply so again he’s getting tried for murder and they are down a cryopod#not to mentions again the fact that you need a copilot like I know like aviation law and shit is crazy and like not common knowledge#but you bed a second set of eyes or someone to trade off with so you don’t loose ur concentration or doze and crash#like they don’t just sit their and do nothing like Jimmy probably did some of the time cause Curly likely didn’t want to make him#cause like pissed off and spiteful Jimmy manning the controls even if just helping is not something he wants to deal with and risk their#lives but i digress I genuinely think the biggest flaw of Curly’s in the situation is being a man who could not handle or understand the#emotional gravity of what Anya experienced especially at the hands of someone who he was also#emotonal/mentally mistreated by and wanted to so badly to believe was his friend and improving#like he did not offer her enough or the proper emotional/physical security he could’ve as a captain nor friend but in that it goes right#back to the systems at play that make it so he isn’t meant or supposed to understand so it can’t be perpetuated and blah blah blah how many#times do I have to explain systematic oppression to certain groups in this fandom and it isn’t cut n dry of good guys bad guys and victims#as outliers of the tow categories l#mouthwashing#captain curly#mouthwashing game#curly mouthwashing#the pony express#The Tulpar
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bronx-bomber87 · 3 days ago
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I know we’re all struggling with this endless hiatus and the lack of new content, so I thought it would be fun to resurrect the #chenfordchats that were circling around the fandom earlier this year. We previously did a question on favorite Tim Bradford quotes, so this time let’s do Lucy! What are your favorite 3-5 (or more if you want) Lucy Chen quotes from the entire series 😊
This does feel endless doesn't it? Not sure why this hiatus has felt longer than when we had the writers strike. That didn't have an end date for a long time. We have one for this one and it's felt worse. Probably because of all the BTS being withheld for now. We're all starving for content of any kind they'll give us. They've been restricted from sharing much of anything. So we're going little stir crazy. 47 days to go LOL We can do it.
This was not easy because these asks never are but always fun. Appreciate the challenge of them. Here we go. These aren't in any particular order BTW. Except by season cause I can't help but organize it. So maybe they are in a specific order ha But not one of ranking by any means. Also I'm not so good at staying within the numbers lmao I suck at it really. So I just did ones I love and I'm probably forgetting some I love but hopefully not.
If I am missing any feel free to do this as well or let me know your favs in the comments. Also these come with commentary cause I am me after all ahaha Was hard to find quotes I love that aren't just Chenford related but Lucy too if that makes sense. That's real hard cause they're so intertwined lol Anyways this is my crack at it please enjoy and don't hesitate to comment should you like to. Also feel free to participate as well more fun when people join in :)
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1x01-What's not to love about her opening line as a character? So confident and ready to go. Look at her. Love everything about this line. Confidence rolling off her as she says. Hasn't been squashed yet by her future soulmate....
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1x03-I LOVE this line for how it lands with Tim. But mainly we get to see the early sparks of confident Lucy putting Tim in his place. Standing up for herself. Because if she doesn't her career is going up in flames along with Tim's epic flameout. Telling him like it is and I love her for it.
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1x07-Another amazing line that lands so well. This is an iconic scene but this line right here. This IMO is what keeps Tim from crossing that line. It's so spot on. She went out on a major limb and it pays off. Just love this line in particular.
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2x01-Are we sensing a theme? LOL It was accidental. But I do love Lucy putting my boy in his place when warranted. Standing up for herself in the process. Straight up owns his ass in this argument with dem fighting words. Love her for it.
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2x08-Always love watching her fierce loyalty come out despite rank. heh I love this line. Because once again calling someone out on their crap. Why we love our girl so much isn't it? So many reasons but this is definitely one of them.
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2x10-Our poor girl so very frustrated with dating especially as a cop. This is an epic line that I don't think gets enough love. Cracks me up so much.
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2x11-Love me some BAMF Lucy. It's one of my favs. The fierceness she shows not only saying this line. But making sure she makes eye contact with Caleb when she delivers it. I love her so much. We all know how true this statement ended up.
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3x05-This seems like two quotes in one cause it kinda is. Already breaking the rules as is so here we are haha Fiercely protective Lucy reporting for duty with this quote. Loved it so much. She gonna beat your ass Stanton.
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3x07-This line will never cease to crack me up. She owns his ass this entire episode really. It's one giant mic drop for her. This one is one of my all time favs of that ep and in general. I dare you to watch that scene let alone that ep and not be laughing.
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4x16-Her reply to Tim's reaction makes me cackle. Her comedic timing is perfection. She is fed up with her hubby at this point and it makes me laugh so much. Goes from playful to over it immediately.
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4x22-Lucy's reaction to Juicy is an all time fav. She was having fun messing with Tim over Dim till then. Her replies are so funny I love this quote for how much it makes me laugh every time. She is disturbed and not having fun anymore. LOL
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5x12-Such an iconic way to drive her point home with this epic line. No more needed to be explained after this line. I adore this quote and the way she delivers it to Tim.
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Lucy Chen is me when i'm prepping for anything with my anxiety. This cracked me up so very hard. Also couldn't find a gif of this glorious line. So just edited down a gif I did ha but I adore this line for how much I related with it LOL She is me when I am prepping.
That's all folks. Hope you enjoyed my rambles. Feel free to comment or do your own that would be fun to see others do it as well. Best part of fandom doing stuff like this. Seeing what everyone loves.
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gowns · 3 days ago
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the economy in los angeles rn is kinda um.... unprecedented levels of what da hell...
i initially wanted to be a filmmaker, playwright, actor, writer. i was just fascinated by film and theatre and knew that people made a living doing art -- i mean, my dad's a musician, so i personally knew people making a living doing art. but i was particularly drawn to storytelling and performance mediums.
so, i'm going to focus on film here: it's always been difficult to find work in hollywood, but there was still kind of a method of getting work. there are tons of studios and production companies. let's say out of 100 hopefuls, like 60-70 of them could find consistent work in one way or another. a lot of people end up in post production, smaller crew work, whatever, but they're grateful to be working in film in any way that they can while they (usually) nurse their secret dreams of funding and screening their own projects. and let's say like, 10 out of 100 of these people end up making short films for festivals (that are usually bids to make larger features), and 1 out of 100 could make a whole feature (i'm just pulling out random vibe-based statistics, i'm just typing up something quick here and don't want to look up / don't know if it's possible to see stats based on "dreams")
well the thing is, that hollywood is imploding. i know a lot of people who work in production and post-production. you live gig-to-gig. usually it's like, several weeks or maybe months of intense work on a project, then you're done, and floating free in a kind of nerve-wracking way, and then you get another gig, and then you're booked again. very feast or famine.
but lately it's just.... famine??? i keep seeing EXPERIENCED film industry people posting that they're looking for a job, any kind of job, and they have so much skills, but there's nothing.
like what i'm trying to say is... nothing is being greenlit. there are very very few new projects being made, in film or tv. it's going all the way back. some people say it's because of covid and production halting, other people say it's because of strikes, other people say it's all AI, other people say it's because of tiktok and how "anyone can make a video." and it's all of the above, combined with increasing costs of living -- it's not enough to just make a few thousand from a film gig and coast on that for the rest of the year, because your entire MONTHLY RENT is a few thousand dollars.
--
back in february 2020, i made a joke to a group of film production people, gesturing at posters for movies that looked terrible to me -- "god, they just keep making movies, and they all suck. i think what hollywood needs is a sabbatical. like, everyone should just stop making movies. there are already so many movies. we don't need anymore!" and there was a laugh then a sort of awkward silence, and i could sense a monkey paw curling just out of sight. and i quickly added "oh right, but like, there should still be movies of course, ha ha. like, you guys should still have work."
--
i think about this a lot.
like, film as a medium, film as a place in our culture, hollywood as the nexus of storytelling with a budget and many skilled hands.
it feels so present and eternal to me. but it's so new as a medium, and also predicated on so many factors. and a lot of those factors are like a crumbling cliff!
was it ever sustainable?
--
i sometimes envision my life with all these possible paths, and how i somehow picked this one random path (freelance photography), thinking that the other paths would still be open to me. "of course, anyone can do anything at any point in their life! :)" <- ever the sunny optimist.
but as i get older, and the economy gets worse, and the industry continues to implode -- and boy, if you think film is suffering, let's not even get into theatre or publishing -- i'm like wow. actually, all those other paths have gnarled dead trees and tumbleweeds. no matter how much i "dream" about XYZ, we're at a point in history where those things might not be viable anymore.
and then, outside of film as a medium, there's also the empire that we live in, the basis of all this material wealth that has been able to fund big-budget movies. and i love the things that can be done with hundreds of people and expensive cameras. but is that kind of storytelling going to continue to be feasible...?
and i get kinda freaked out because there's THOUSANDS of people here in california working in the film industry. and if they all lose their jobs....?
and if everyone i know loses their jobs...?
ummmmmmmm
like i said every day i wake up and see another "please for the love of god i need a job i have 4000 skills and no one is hiring" post and i just start sweating and going .... "what is happening..."
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woman-respecter · 3 days ago
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oh and one last thing. i cannot believe how leftists and queers are treating sarah mcbride. it makes me sick to my stomach. i can't stomach it actually.
bullying minorities who happen to be "privileged" i.e. rich, white, etc is so fucking gross and easy like bullying a child (and is part of the reason for all the antisemitism btw! since they think we're all whiter than aryans and that we are the most privileged). seeing everyone jumping with joy to harass sarah mcbride a trans woman who's an easy target since she's white and trans (white trans women bad unless they prove themselves by getting arrested for....palestine with jvp like hunter or they threaten to kill biden for cool points like ethel) for sucking up which. all minorities have to do for a place in this world is INSANE.
these are the SAME PEOPLE calling everyone a terf and being misogynistically distrustful of women/feminists because we're all a potential zio- um terf is so sad because 1) transphobia is a serious problem among cis women which should never be downplayed and a lot of cis women are transphobic. i know this because i've faced transphobia lite since i have a bit of an adams apple as a cis woman which leads to transvestigation :/ but 2) the "solution" isn't and will never be to act like cis women are the enemy/worse than men/to be misogynistic towards us either. 3) it's all so sad because these people are doing so much harm by being misogynistic "in the name of good/in the name of trans women" but they're just bullies who also hate trans women but get to hide it because they're #allies. they're "allies" who spread hate in the name of a people who want to be left alone and they spread that hate because deep down they hate trans people and want to make them look bad (not downplaying misogyny that is present in the trans community but yh). these people are trying to stifle the 4b movement in the name of trans women while trans women like veondre mitchell dont gaf (obv trans women are not a monolith). it's so evil. who needs enemies with "allies" like this? (also if you wanna deal with the transphobia the solution isn't to misogynistically try to shut 4b down. but they just hate women and it's never been about trans people so!)
anyways back to the topic. sarah mcbride really breaks my heart. they hate her and they've been treating her so terribly (theyre giving her the jew treatment 😓). no one has her back and it goes to show how the left is a lost cause. if you arent what they want, if you step out of line, they treat you like the conservatives treat you.
yeah i’ve been somewhat following the sarah mcbride saga thanks to the wonderful mariacallous and it is disgusting. i think in part what happened was that post calling her a “zionist” got popular so people wanted to look for more reasons to hate her. these days everything comes back to the Omnicause.
i also think that the trans girl tankies are kind of having a crab bucket moment about a trans woman being successful through grace and intelligence instead of posting graphic threats at people they deem subhuman from behind an anime girl icon on a microblogging website. they hate to see a class act thriving.
sarah mcbride is doing the best she can in a very shitty situation, and people who should be her allies are just making it worse.
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uncanny-tranny · 1 year ago
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I'm still thinking about how ashamed I was (and am) with being open about my pain because I am so young. It's so hard to feel worthy of having your pain taken seriously when the people around you insist that young bodies are always in pristine, untouched condition and that you must earn your pain through aging. Never is it considered that young people aren't lying or being a hypochondriac for expressing their pain.
Young people can be in life-altering pain. Young people can have debilitating pain. It doesn't matter what age it happens because pain doesn't discriminate. Complaining about pain and doing things to prevent needless pain aren't something you have to "earn" through aging.
If you want young people to be in less or lesser pain, then encourage them to do whatever they can to minimize it. Don't downplay what they're experiencing. Not everything is a lie, not every experience that is different than yours is exaggeration or deceit.
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necrotic-nephilim · 2 months ago
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I started in DC by reading fanfics, but as I began to read actual comics, I started to be unable to read the actual fanfic that got me into it in the first place because it's so out of character.
But there are still some stories that I love to read because I love the found family trope so much, even if it isn't really accurate to the source material.
As a comics purist (sometimes), are there tropes that you like enough that you'll still enjoy a fic even if it's not accurate to canon?
oh my god this is SUCH a fun question. bc while i started with the comics, there were certain characters and/or character dynamics where i was exposed to the fanon before the canon (just bc it's hard to read everything when you start out just to read some fanfic) and so i've definitely experienced the fanon to canon transition. (*especially* with Jason Todd. i had only read 80s/90s stuff where he was already dead or the New-52 bc that was on-going when i got into comics and man. the fanon misunderstandings i had about him before i got frustrated and sat down to read all his pre-Flashpoint stuff were absolutely bonkers.) and aside from that, whilst i tend to prefer canon over fanon, i'm not past giving fanon its flowers for occasionally having really interesting insights. occasionally. so some of my fanon "guilty pleasure" tropes would probably be
Morally Grey Tim Drake - this is one where if you try to back it up with canon, i *will* get salty about it. of everyone in the Batfam aside from maybe Bruce and Cass, Tim has the *most* black and white morals. often his internal conflicts are routed in such an inability to compromise his moral views and it can cause him to clash with other characters. he's *very* stiff and rigid in his beliefs and is *rare* to compromise in even the smallest ways. i mean, DC has repeatedly used Tim Drake of Tomorrow/Savior/Gun Batman!Tim for a reason. it's to demonstrate that of everyone, Tim *cannot* have his morals compromised. there's no grey area for him. he's zero or a hundred, so if he tips over the edge of "too far" he tips *all the way*, and doing so is one of his worst fears, how he could go "too far" if he let himself. a couple panels out of context from Red Robin (2009) (which was a grief spiral for Tim to begin with) don't change that. now that said. if it's done *right*, i sort of love Tim being morally grey in fanfic. it takes a specific flavor for me, and it's incredibly important to include that mental spiral along with it, of him struggling to justify it. i don't have any interest in "Tim Drake is loosy goosy with Bruce's morals and has the highest kill count and no one knows teehee" bc it doesn't play with the interesting parts of making Tim morally grey, which are fracturing his psyche. but all in all, i think it's fun to put Tim in a morally grey area and i will read it in fanfic and i enjoy writing it a lot
Joker Junior!Tim Drake - i've not written it on this account (yet) but on my main ao3 account one of my biggest fics surrounds this concept. this is one of those "well *technically* it's canon but only in a specific very divorced from the comics universe and would not work at all in the main timeline" so, i categorize it as fanon in that 95% of fics exploring the concept are not doing so within the Batman Beyond universe, but the main timeline. i just love it. I'll take any excuse to whump Tim, but this concept is so fun. psychologically breaking Tim will always be my favorite pastime. there are so many ways to explore the long-term effects this could have on him, how it could affect the Batfam. i'm not a fan of it being used as a "gotcha" to Jason or Babs' trauma with the Joker to paint Tim as the Ultimate Victim, but it is fun to see how their relationships would be affected by being mutual victims of him. (i have a vague JayTim idea where TIm fully retires from being Robin after being Joker Junior and killing the Joker, making Steph Robin for most of his typical Robin era and Jason still tracks him down out of curiosity bc he wants to know what happened and all. very underbaked but i've got thoughts.)
Renegade/Apprentice of Slade!Dick Grayson - this is another one where yes, this happened *sort of* in canon, but i highly doubt most people writing Renegate!Dick have read or are actually pulling from Nightwing: Renegade. it's just an exploration fo the concept fo Dick being Slade's apprentice and i will always eat it up in any capacity. whether Dick grows up with Slade from a young age, or chooses Slade for whatever reason later in life. it's not anything that works in canon bc it compromises Dick morally (similar to the above with Tim) and therefore will always come across incredibly fanon in most fics. but i can't say i don't enjoy it. it's fun to make Dick a little morally fucked up and see what you can make him under Slade's tutelage.
Jason & Damian Meeting in the League -there's no world where i believe this could work in the canon comics. (maybe in the Young Justice cartoon i suppose, but even then i think it's iffy) i would go as far to say it's wildly unrealistic. i don't see a world where Ra's would let Jason anywhere *near* Damian, bc Jason was Talia's pet project that he didn't approve of. that all said, there's something very interesting about how they *could've* met and them potentially bonding during that timeframe. them being somewhat brotherly during this time because Jason sees Bruce in Damian and sort of latches onto the kid and Damian is full of wonder hearing real stories about Batman and Robin, then that getting violently ripped away by Jason leaving the League is fun to me. it's fun how that could affect them within the Batfam and all. it's super fanon to me, but i do not care. i will eat it up
Bad Dad Clark Kent/Good Dad Lex Luthor - i will admit as a late, i've been less and less kind to this particular fanon bc of everything i've argued with people about, *this* one seems the most pervasive as misunderstood fanon. i don't mind when fanon exists, my gripe is when ppl try to claim it's canon. and the *arguments* i've had over this with people who can never seem to cite an actual comic are... frustrating. but that said, i think there is something fun to this strictly in fanon. the duality of who you expect to accept Kon and who you expect to hurt him being flipped is just sort of fun for the occasional guilty pleasure fic. it can make Kon's internal conflict a bit more interesting. the same goes for the Jon favoritism from Clark, it's not a canon thing (and i rlly wish ppl understood how complicated the timeline of Kon and Jon is and any distance from Clark toward Kon isn't malice, it's that Kon is from a timeline that Clark does not remember in the current canon so Clark just straight up doesn't know the poor kid.) but it's sort of fun to give Kon that complex of being overlooked and forgotten sometimes. making Kon just a *bit* more Luthor than Kent will *always* appeal to me in fanfic, especially if he *knows* it's wrong but craves approval from anyone who will give it.
Good Dad Bruce Wayne - i'll die on the hill Bruce is canonically a shitty father. maybe not to the extreme some people write him as, but he's not great at it. that said, i enjoy it in fanfiction. sometimes, i just want silly fluff or hurt/comfort where Bruce finally gets it right and manages to comfort whatever Batkid is in the fic. one of my favorite fics of all time is hinged on Bruce being a good dad, so i think it's just fun to explore how good the relationships *could* be, if Bruce was slightly less of an asshole. i usually prefer him as an asshole, but there are times i want low stakes nonsense.
Gotham Rogues Having Soft Spots for Robin(s) - just about every Rogue in Gotham has done something absolutely irredeemable, and most of them don't like or care about anyone in the Batfamily. but if there's a fic where one of the Robins inexplicably is sort of close with a Rogue and they have a cute silly relationship out of it? I'll eat it up i fear. Steph and the Riddler are besties? I'll believe it. Tim and Scarecrow get along pretty well? give me ten of these. Rogues protecting Robins just hits a spot. the unexpected nature of the relationship, as well as the fact they see each other regularly, can make a lot of good fodder.
#necrotic answerings#canon vs fanon#batfanon#batfamily#I was *going* to include “Janet and Jack Drake are bad parents”#then realized I don't really like that fanon anymore.#but I used to go *hard* for it even knowing it wasn't canon. it was all projection but still#nowadays I think the tragedy of Tim losing his parents the way he did is *far* worse if they loved him and were good to him.#I'm so serious about the Kon thing i've had *nasty* arguments where ppl got so rude to me telling me to “Google it”#like listen I get it. kon's canon backstory is currently difficult to understand#the timeline of the superboy mantle is a little confusing and most people have not read young justice (2019)#so for fanon it's far easier to simplify it as “clark just kinda sucks to kon” and i enjoy that#but the canon is also fun. it's fun when you consider how fucked up it is most people don't remember kon#and the timeline he remembers doesn't exist anymore.#also technically since they never killed off new-52!superboy on page there could be two superboys/kon-els running around rn. who knows.#i like to believe there is bc it's funny.#i have wanted to write a new-52!konkon/tim/kon sandwich#with the “is it selfcest or not” question#bc new-52!kon wasn't a clone of clark and lex.#so like. he's arguably a different character just sharing the name kon-el for some reason#also on the nightwing: renegade thing i know *damn* well most fanon-only fans haven't read it (no shade in that)#bc the fanon crowd despises devin grayson and she wrote it.#one day i'll write a meta about fandom treatment of devin grayson trust me.#this question was SO fun#i feel like i should have more answers?#if you'd asked me like six months ago this list would be three times as long#but the more i exist in this fandom somehow the saltier i get idk what's happening#so now i'm more and more attached to canon#but i will never begrudge someone for liking fanon#like i said my issue with it is the confusion of what is canon
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triglycercule · 1 day ago
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eusgahhhhh goddddd the lazy urge to just beg the internet to mansplain killer's lore to me in baby talk so i can finally GET IT and then the other less appealing urge to actually do an analysis on him so i can form my own opinion and observations. fucj
#im so tired maaaan eudgahhhhhh#i need to come up with more asks to ask people#because apparently i want to do that now. whats wrong with you brain why do you want this#im so TIRED i could EAT a WHALE!#i need to DO IT. I NEED TO ACTUALLY DO A FUCKING KILLER ANALYSIS ITS BEEN TOO LONG#thanksgiving break is coming up will that be enough for me to want to study him with my magnifying glass#this feels like sans and papyrus are the energy controlling angel and demons on my shoulders#speaking of classic undertale this has actually nothing to do with undertale LMAO#but i can just imagine myself as chara in the murder time trio fangame fight#aaaahahahahahaha horror would be so maaad <33333 i DID just destroy his entire au after all :333#and dust would be FURIOUS!!! BOTH OF THEM!!!! SO PISSED AT ME!!!!#i just took away one's place of achieving a goal and another's place of demented comfort#yeaaaah those two would be SO pissed heehehehehehe#horror never gets to have his potential happy ending because i took it away#dust never gets to honor all those he killed and put an end to what he did because of ME#the murder time trio fangame concept is SO underrated guys. touken-kamui's mtt is AMAZING#and because i look like a chara of course killer's got an entire internal conflict going on#FUCK alright sure. unsure of where this thought process will lead but we ball. me when thinking about anything killer related (i am unsure)#ANOTHER fucking chara messed up his life eruaghhhh and to make things worse they dont even seem to LIKE something new#touken-kamui's chara seems to be a megalomaniac instead of a shitty sadistic scientist#i would look so similar to the one that he doesn't know if he hates or not#should he fight alongside these 2 strangers or should he submit like he always did to his chara. to this NEW chara???#and this is all just assuming this is that 1 ending where killer kills chara and hasnt met nm yet (my favorite ending)#EFUAGH!!!! would killer stay back after the first few minutes. let dust and horror fight in steed of him as he deals w this#the two would be SO annoyed at him too. at this point if i wasn't there they'd probably kill eachother. or killer#well killer can't save or reset in the judgement hall that we got sucked into#so he actually has to put some value to his body and life if he wants to fight me#SEE WHAT I MEAN TOUKEN-KAMUI'S MURDER TIME TRIO IS AWESOME!!!!!#tricule rant#this got totally off topic from what the post was about but i should do it
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notjanine · 5 months ago
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me a week ago: i love my job!!
me now, after having a mid-year review that amounted to you’re doing an excellent job and you bring such a valuable perspective to our practice but i don’t have the ability to give you a raise right now but don’t worry bc i just hired a new CFO to try to figure out money so we can maybe give you a raise later this year: *breaks into a cold sweat as i crack open indeed dot com*
#like how have you hired FOUR new employees in the past year (two new providers a new admin assistant and now a CFO)#without having plans for people to level up?#also i have talked to a friend who got hired at a similar practice a few months after me and she’s already making way more than me!#and you know who else makes more than i do?#my 19yo nephew who didn’t even finish high school. to be fair he’s grinding way more than he should#but also so am i!!#my disabled ass is working 6-7 days/week almost every week and i can barely afford to LIVE in the city where i live!!!#anyway don’t mind me i’m only apartment hunting#while also knowing that my paycheck is about to be hundreds of dollars lighter every month bc my health insurance is about to kick in#right now it’s either looking like we are gonna have to live in the world’s shittiest apartment (not even in the nice part of the city) or#we might just have to find something outside the city. which would be farther from work and friends and everything#yes i am having a full mental breakdown every single day and it’s only gonna get worse bc i’m due to start pmsing any second now#and also my last day at my hospital job is this weekend#bc everyone (including my boss) has encouraged me to quit and focus on only the one job#so now that’s also at least a few hundred bucks more i won’t be making every month#godddddddd#i hate it here i hate it here#did you know? having a fulfilling job still sucks if you aren't fairly compensated???#this is also what happens when you are part of a hot girl profession where everyone else is married to husbands with tech jobs#so they don't have to worry about money like this#anyway anyway anyway#i have never had anxiety so high that i feel as if i might puke before and i used to have a panic disorder so this is a fun new experience#a nice cherry on top of the typical summer depression which is also beating my ass yet again!
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awkward-teabag · 10 months ago
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After every (American) election, there's always a bunch of posts going around exposing psyops or pointing out how there were posts on this site designed to get people to not vote blue.
And in the lead up to every (American) election, there's a bunch of posts being reblogged that are clearly either psyops or manipulative posts that tell people it's perfectly okay for them not to vote at all.
Like, there's history going back years on this hellsite where the alt-right intentionally tried to undermine or indoctrinate people so they get/stay in power. History a lot of y'all know of or were even there for and saw go down in real time.
But sure, be uncritical of what you reblog, don't bother looking at the source website, or just put things out there without caveats or nuance.
#i know media literacy is trash these days#and that there's intentional misinformation/no information about elections#but i've seen people who have reblogged things about psyops in the past who both reblog and support current ones#but unlike other social media sites you can reblog a post but then stick nuance in the tags#you can be critical of something while also gritting your teeth and supporting it because the alternative is worse#you can (and should) also be critical of the systems that lead to that in the first place#throwing your hands up and saying there's no point and you aren't going to bother#and it's fine if others do the same#is just giving up and saying it's too hard for you and you don't care about the harm that comes to others#the canadian system is different (though first past the post tries to make it the same)#but you can bet i'd vote for trudeau even though fuck him and his racist ass#if the alternative was pp because while trudeau sucks for many reasons#pp is fucking terrifying to me as a disabled queer person#and i'm lucky in that i'm white and canadian and can pass as cishet so i'd be spared the worst of it#others would not be so lucky#especially when his fans are eager to hate crime people and only hold themselves back because they would face social consequences#also learn what is private criticism you keep to yourself or talk to friends about#and what is okay to talk about publicly#some things you don't fucking say when it will be taken as permission for antipathy or approval by fascists
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arolesbianism · 4 days ago
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I wish So Bad that I could confidently recommend lob corp and library of ruina to people because they're both genuinely rly good games and I also need ppl I know to understand the insanity that is project moon but like godddd they are a fucking Investment. Both in time and in brainpower. I generally think ppl exaggerate how hard lob corp is but it's certainly not easy and when it does get hard it gets HARD. Also it literally requires at least one day 1 reset (basically a new game+) to fully beat the game and at this point I've done at least 10. And for lor I'm not nearly as far in and I'm just scratching the surface of the real game but it's a beast of its own. Also 100+ hours and also hard as hell. Like this game does not fuck around with its difficulty spikes it will make you use your brain and it will give you a damn headache in the process. It's also one of my favorite card combat games I've ever played with mechanics that just so beautifully complement each other to create a dynamic and interesting battle system that gives it a completely different vibe and feeling than any other deck builder games I've played to the point where it almost feels wrong to me to categorize them together. But also I am not even slightly joking abt the headache thing every time I play this damn game I close it with a horrible headache and have to take a multi day break. I think everyone should experience this with me <3
#rat rambles#for the record I have not played limbus company nor do I plan to but the cast is rly good and I know a lot of ppl vouch for it#let it be known if I ever do get around to reading limbus stuff I will become obsessed with outis shes so me bait#youre telling me shes a middle aged woman a war criminal and a bootlicker? sign me the fuck up#I <3 crusty dusty women who suck ass#also ofc don is also the beloved but thats a given#the real question would be which of the other limbus women would comsume my life#because theyre all contenders for characters that could make me go insane. for better or for worse.#also reason number 500 that everyone I know should play these games is that its sooooo fun to make project moon ocs#ofc I and I imagine most ppl mostly make nugget ocs (aka your employees and combat units in the first two games)#but like its just fun to make ocs in this world in general#the worldbuilding of this game is like 90% built on 'would that be fucked up or what?' and I adore it for that#theyll just be like yeah theres a whole faction that follows these things called prescripts which can range from super simple stuff to#literally impossible stuff and if you aren't able to follow them you will be killed and theres a guy whos job it is to hand them out and he#has to routinely inform people to their face that they have to destroy their lives or die and it eventually breaks him#and you go ok cool Im still not over the teleporting trains that dont actually instantly teleport but instead travel through pocket#dimensions over the course of thousands of years during which the passengers can be injured and mangled and feel pain but not die and it's#not uncommon for whole societies to be formed in them but once they arrive to their destination the state of all the passengers is#perfectly reverted back to their state uppon entering leading to them being none the wiser of anything that had previously happened to them#and they go yeah haha we liked love town too anyways wanna watch this robot have another mental breakdown#and you go fuck yeah and get your ass handed to you
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vagueiish · 3 months ago
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what exactly is one supposed to do about accepting things you can't control when the thing you can't control is a person who is actively fucking over many people, including children?
#especially children#like itd not be an issue if the children were not involved. the person would be persona non grata#but the children exist and are involved and we have no legal recourse apparently. so what the fuck. what the fuck#i want to leave. i cant leave. i want to leave#i think id want to leave anyway without this person just bc im sick of this place#but this person makes things 10x worse#the children give me pause bc i do love them but also. maybe this makes me sound shitty. theyre not my repsonsibility#maybe if i can get my own life set up and get stable on my own id try to get the children away from this person#but rn it's not happening#sometimes i think this person had kids to babytrap us into not booting them#honestly i think the law should allow for one free punch#i dont think violence is nec3ssarily the answer for...most things#but some people ....some people need a#need to be socked in the fucking jaw and face tangible consequences for their actions#bc they dont face any consequences otherwise#or at least dont recognize any other consequences as being the direct result of their own selfish dickhead actions#alas. the law is the law#and everything here feels so precarious as it is#it sucks though that 'wanting to control someone else's actions' in this case is i want this person to treat other people fucking decently#and be respectful of their time and the fact that they have their own lives#i get being a parent is hard but to force other people to pick up your slack without any input from them#thereby controlling their lives and fucking them over#and thats just straight up shit behavior. the hardships of parenthood do not justify that#and you barely parent. screaming at kids for being kids is not parenting#and literally nobody made you bring these poor kids into the world. this was 100% your choice#and sure prochoice but honestly people who can choose otherwise having kids when they have to know full well#that they neither have the capacity nor actual desire to actually attempt to parent#they deserve a slap. fuck it. i dont have it in me for compassion#and i have a lot more to say actually that wont fit in the tags. whoops#to the void with love
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obnoxiousarcade · 5 months ago
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im thinking again
#ive been dealt the bad hand; the worse hand; the hand from the arm from the body#im just.....okay#Well aaaa its weird#nothing anyone says to me is to *me*#which is fair-- no one knows me. but i do wish i got it. i dont know#the passing of time is still my worst enemy#i love everyone so much. itssssssweird.#if youre following these posts and saw the last one: i think i am still gonna die soon. awwh man. i dunno#but i have no reason to go on truthfully and i dont feel like finding one#im tired and sad OK?#i do want an acknowledgement again#and if you're following these posts im going to do the same thing i did last time and talk to the three tumblr blogs:#1. hi. i really like you. i admit it. j think youre really cool and all. uh okay im supposed to ask a question so here; how are you? well i#hope. k dont know. i havent been reading up like i should be and as for the second blog im talking to here i also havent been reading up lik#e i should im very sorry. i will make that journal again though.#and third blog: hi!! i still have no clue how to do that one thing but youve really gotten me into the hypothetical idea of differences base#f off of like ...area. the thing you said about that one thing.! i javwnt been doing much about it but thinkin but you know thinkin is fun.#i do want to do reading on it but ive been very sad lately and i cannot be bothered#this is really fun talking to people like this. um#youre very cool blog one ive been becoming a big fan of you again#blog two.if you see this: i want you-- I'm sayin that to specify that I'm talking to you. but i dont. anyway: uh. oh no i forgot what i was#gonna say#okay here's to not talking to anyone particular:#i want to do drugs. its the only way ill be able to handle all this.but i... oh hey i have melatonin!!#hmmmmmm#idk#it just puts me to sleep and i hate sleeping cause im always having bad dreams-- both nightmares and just dreams that Suck-- but...... im#desperate.#okay im gonna take a normal dose and just keep it together i hope#I hate sleeping
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knifesxedge · 5 months ago
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imagine if my medication worked to stabilize my bipolar disorder.
#pi's personal#delete later#i WOULD be Worse without it like ping ponging up and down and suicidal 90% of the time instead of 20%#but i can dream of a world where the smallest thing doesn’t suddenly trigger a hairpin transition into a depressive episode.#that would be nice.#and it always is The Smallest Most Insignificant Things that trigger it#making me seem like a huge bitch and the world’s worst person#aw you’re sobbing hysterically because you couldn’t find parking in a downtown parking garage on a friday evening? literally anybody else#would just suck it up. nobody else would do that#now this is something i should be bringing up in therapy and not talking about to my 1000+ tumblr followers BUT#i have a theory that it’s always a straw that breaks the camel’s back situation.#things build up and i don’t feel like i’m really struggling that much with things or bottling them up but i Am. and then i hit a seemingly#arbitrary tipping point and it all comes combusting out like a shrapnel explosion#the fun thing about it is that because it seems so arbitrary i drive people away from me#because they think i’m severely overreacting to something very small#and also that i’m a Huge Fucking Bitch. just the worst kind of mean annoying lashing out person#everyyyyyything has to be about me. i always make it about me. i always cause a scene.#and rightfully so nobody then wants to be around me. or to take my side in a conflict.#because i am quite literally The Problem.#and it’s like i can’t even help it. it’s like i can’t control it. i just go into a state of Shutdown Overwhelm and suddenly things are#Too Much and i lash out at anything i can because it all goes spilling outward.#and THAT is why nobody who knows me well enough wants to be around me
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rosicheeks · 8 months ago
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Unfortunately relatable. I grew up in the church and have a lot of Christian trauma from that. I show up for special occasions for my parents… sometimes. But it’s uncomfortable from the moment I step through the door. Bigoted pastor, the self-righteousness disguising the prejudice, the political comments from the altar. Shots at young people left right and center as if the hell on earth wasn’t caused by the same older generation 90% of the congregation belongs to..
I miss being young in the choir and the youth groups and not struggling with it. It’s wild to look back at the younger version of me who was unshakeable in his faith and honestly just saddening.
I was texting my sister today about it and she said
“I 100% think ALL of us have a ton of religious trauma and everyone else in the family just doesn’t realize it cause they’re still drinking the kool-aid.”
I ran out of tag room and didn’t want to delete any 😭 seriously not lying I could write a book about all my thoughts and experiences
#I relate to all of this so much#and it’s so sad how many people truly have religious trauma#I still find myself lucky and privileged cause I know there are stories MUCH worse than mine#it’s really hard cause my parents still think I’m a Christian#honestly at this point I have no clue what i am#even if I end up still being a Christian that doesn’t help or heal all of the years of church trauma#but the hard part is still acting the part for my parents#growing up I always tried to fit into the good Christian girl mold#cause I know that’s what my parents wanted and I didn’t want to disappoint them#but once I started smoking weed and they found out? it went all downhill from there#their perfect angel fell from heaven#and I feel like ever since I haven’t been really their daughter…. I’ve just been living on the outside looking in to everything#it hurts looking back at all the years I spent brainwashed into believing that was the ONLY faith#it genuinely makes me sick to my stomach thinking about the fact that I went to a pro life rally#the thing I was talking to my sister about was how mental health was never talked about in the church#when I started dealing with it and went to my parents or the pastors or any adult really and told them what I was dealing with#wanna know what the first thing they would ALWAYS say? well have you prayed about it? the way they treated mental illness was that it was#YOUR fault cause God is punishing you for something…. that you need to pray or go to church so then God will eventually take it away#and the thing is I don’t necessarily blame my parents (which kinda sucks cause I want to blame someone)#but honestly it’s just the environment they grew up in too… like I’m 99% sure my dad has dealt with depression his entire life#but won’t get diagnosed or anything cause they always believe faith has something to do with it#which makes me incredibly sad cause I just think about how much my dad has suffered and how he didn’t need to#^^ I was typing this out when I was late to my family gathering hahaha but then I think my sister called or something so I had to stop#sorry this post is all over the place - I swear I could write a book about religious trauma#yesterday went ok surprisingly but today? TODAY is going to be so much worse#sure I’ll make a post about it later but I guessssss I should go to bed now? it’s 2am and I have to get up at 5:45 🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃#and I have a fuuuuull day of fun Christian festivities while I’m dealing with all of this bottled up and unresolved crap from my past#please don’t get me wrong I love my parents and like I said I don’t blame them - they did their best#it just really sucks wondering what my life would have been like if I didn’t grow up in the church or in a super religious family#I wonder if when I told my parents I was depressed if they would have instantly brought me in to get help
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ozymoron · 1 year ago
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literally why am i a perfectionist i actually really dont give a shit
#⚠️#personal#''this drawing sucks everyones going to notice the eye isnt in the exact right spot'' both you and i know we dont fucking care#vent#rant#genuinely cant put into words how much this shit frustrates me#like everytime i draw i just have this stupid little critic in the back of my mind thats like ''this looks like shit you should just quit''#and it drives me crazy#like genuinely shut up#i think all those years on art youtube has just ruined my motivation#like all those art roast videos all those ''DONT DO THIS YOU ARE KILLING YOUR ART'' videos#i think i should just go frolic in a field i think that would fix me#like some of the guys making these kinds of videos are professional artists which just makes it worse for me#cause like i wanna be a professional someday and like having that fear in my mind that they might all look at my art and tear it to shreds#for not being perfect or something just feels so demotivating#like ik its irrational like 100% they would not do that but idk im tired of how harsh art spaces online are#maybe its just the spaces ive been in but from the ones ive been in theyre just so harsh and for what#i genuinely dont get the motivation behind it#what is saying ''dont do this its killing your art'' or ''roasting'' other peoples art doing for anyone#who is that helping#god i have to be up at 9 and its nearly 3 am but like god i need to rant about this just to get it out of my system#ik the whole ''DO NOT DO THIS'' thing probably gets you a lot more views than being like ''how to draw facial expressions'' or whatever#but like still who is that helping#idk maybe its all my years of being told not to do things without a reason why that makes me feel this way but it bothers me#i just worry for younger artists who are growing up on art youtube or are on art tiktok#idk if any of this made sense i cant be bothered reading back through it but i just have a lot of built up frustration towards the more i#guess ''mainstream'' (idk if thats the right word) parts of the art community#honestly idk why im so worried about professional artists who title their videos like ''DONT FUCKING DO THIS OR YOU WILL DIE''#judging my art#i hit the tag limit yippee. if i have more that i think to say ill just add them in a reblog
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pikaglove · 2 years ago
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Old people used to get beaten by their alcoholic husbands but have the audacity to claim your boyfriend isn't treating you right because he asked if you could pay for gas 😒
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