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librosamarillos · 1 year ago

Text

passed down like folk songs

chapter 34: never take advice from someone who's falling apart

Maegor Targaryen x OC

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Tags: hurt/comfort, friends to lovers, angst, mature themes, targaryen incest, violence, Maegor is a red flag himself, characters are ooc probably, MINORS DNI

Ceryse had spent the whole day packing. It was a rushed decision to leave, but she couldn't take it anymore. She made sure Martyn had sent a raven to their father to tell him to expect her arrival soon, and then she made sure that every single thing she owned was in a case, in the carriage that would take her back to her home. The last strange and off-putting year of her life, all packed and ready to go.

She looked around the now empty room, trying to make sure she hadn’t forgotten anything, when her Goodmother walked in. It caught her completely off guard, as they had both been avoiding each other ever since she had married into the family. Ceryse could never read Visenya’s expression, but at least she could tell she didn’t look upset.

“You’re leaving.” she said plainly. Not at all a question, just a statement. Visenya looked at her, her face unreadable, but Ceryse didn’t shudder under her unnerving eyes. She couldn’t let her get the best of her. She refused to lose her patience, no matter how much she wanted to scream at her.

“I am.” she nodded, mirroring her plain tone. “You must be pleased.” she added, seeing as Visenya seemed to be content with standing in complete silence. Gods, how did Rowan manage to be around her so much without losing her mind? Her goodmother did not seem offended by the comment.

“I am not, believe it or not. I do think it’ll be what’s best for the time being.” she shook her head slightly. She said it in such a matter-of-fact tone, like it should’ve been obvious to Ceryse that she wanted her to stay, even though she had made it so clearly obvious that she couldn’t stand her. She had made it so clear that she was not the bride she wanted for her son, so much so that she caused such a mess by performing a whole new wedding for him.

“The time being?” Ceryse asked, raising a brow. Did she expect this to be like a long vacation? A small, awkward pause followed. It seemed that she had expected Ceryse to read her mind or something.

“Yes. Perhaps it’s best for you to be with your family until things settle down.” she finally explained further. Ceryse supposed this could’ve come from a good place, a place of worry for her safety, but it only unnerved her more. Did she expect something dangerous to happen to the half-built palace? The dowager Queen looked around the room, before furrowing her brows. “You’ve packed everything?” she asked, her tone disapproving, implying that she shouldn't take everything with her.

“I don’t think I’ll ever return.” Ceryse answered honestly, seeing no reason to lie to the unnerving woman before her. All the Targaryens had an unnerving aura around them, but the two that had the strongest ones were Visenya and Maegor. Aenys was the one that acted more like a normal person. Visenya shook her head again, as if what Ceryse had told her was just a suggestion.

“You will. In the future. To a much calmer palace.” she replied. There was something ominous in her tone, something that made Ceryse worry. She couldn’t foresee Aenys taking charge and fixing all the uprisings and problems that kept appearing, so was she planning to take control instead? Should that worry her, since she had ruled for years in the past? Visenya sighed, before speaking up again.

“Things were not ideal for you, and I’ve played a part in that. One day we’ll make up for that.” she said, her tone much more human and sincere this time. It caught Ceryse even more by surprise, as this was probably the first time in the year that she knew her, that she saw Visenya act as anything other than a harsh Queen. She could almost be mistaken as apologetic. “Goodbye, Ceryse.” she said, and left her alone in her room to finish packing.

The conversation kept repeating over and over in her mind, as the carriage kept going. It was by far the most ominous goodbye she had ever received. Lana and Rowan gave her a tearful goodbye, Rowan especially sad to see her go. Ceryse made her promise to visit, as she couldn’t think of a better escape from the absolute insanity going on in that family. As she had mentioned it to her brothers, it came to light that she wasn’t the only Hightower to invite Rowan to Oldtown.

“And you just invited her like that?” Ceryse asked, jokingly kicking her younger brother on the knee. She didn’t want to dwell on her goodmother on the long way home, she’d have time to worry about it from the comfort of her room. For now, she could at least laugh at her youngest brother and his attempts at flirting.

“What do you mean?” Morgan asked, almost offended at the implication, crossing his arms right away. In so many ways, he still acted like he used to when they were young and she’d tease him.

“Awkwardly, in a hallway while your sister is upset in the room right behind you?” Martyn stated, raising a brow in amusement. Gods be good, Ceryse could almost picture the surprise on Rowan’s face. Now she was wishing she hadn’t left in such a rush, because she would’ve loved to make fun of her brother with her best friend.

“How romantic, Morgan!” she exclaimed, giving him a pat on the shoulder. His face even managed to make Martyn laugh, despite his anger. All three siblings were angry at what had happened, but seeing her eldest brother crack a smile was certainly a soothing thing.

“It wasn’t awkward!” Morgan defended himself, but seemed to realise that anything else he said would be used against him to be teased relentlessly, so he just kept pouting, promising his siblings that he’d rather continue the journey on horseback than to be stuck with them teasing him.

“Of course it wasn’t.” Ceryse said, shaking her head. It wouldn’t be a bad thing to have Rowan visit with her father. Their own father had been a bit ill and seeing an old friend again would make him feel much better for sure. And perhaps they’d conclude their reunification with a proposal, a match between her brother and Rowan. It would be a nice occasion to have a wedding that Ceryse would look forward to. And the fact that her closest friend would remain close to her.

It was something that just hung up in the air with uncertainty, what would happen when her husband would return from exile. Would she be expected to return by his side and pretend it’s all well and good? In what world would his actions be somehow accepted after some time passed? No, she wouldn’t return at all. She couldn’t stand the thought of his stupid fucking face. He’d have to come drag her out of the hightower with Balerion himself if he cared so much to do so.

Returning back home to Oldtown filled her lungs with air again. She finally felt like she could breathe. She was home, where everything was just as she remembered it being. Her father even had the rare show of pure relief to see her and embrace her again. She tried not to dwell on any feeling of failure, the thought that if she had given Maegor an heir, then none of this would’ve happened. But no one blamed her, no one looked at her with any contempt, instead they all welcomed her back home warmly.

Their father had invited them to speak, to try and make sense of what to do in the future, when a young squire ran in the room, bringing a letter with the unmistakable Targaryen seal. Their father took the letter from the boy’s hands and dismissed him. All three of his children looked at him with curious eyes, a silent question waiting to be answered.

“What does the letter say, father?” Martyn spoke up, his arms crossed. Ceryse herself was alarmed. She had just been able to breathe and relax in her own home, would the King have demanded she return? No, surely not, it made no sense. The last time she saw Aenys, he only gave her an ashamed, but apologetic look. He wouldn’t demand her presence.

“It’s not just a letter.” her father’s voice caught her attention again. “It’s an invitation.” he added, reading it again and again, which worried his three children even more. It was as if he couldn’t believe what he was reading and wanted to make sure of it before he spoke it out loud. Now she was confused, they all were.

“An invitation? To what?” she asked. He certainly wouldn’t be throwing a feast for no reason. There weren’t any holidays coming up, and there were certainly more important things for the King to address before he threw a big feast to celebrate.

“To a wedding.” their father responded, his eyes still scanning the letter over and over again. That was certainly not what anyone was expecting. A wedding?

“A royal wedding?” she asked. “But all the King’s children are still so young.” she added. Rhaena was the eldest one, had he found her a match already? He had never mentioned to Ceryse that he’d even been searching for a match, but she supposed it was only normal for him to want to find his daughter a good match. She was his only daughter and his firstborn, it was expected that he’d be more attached to her. But still, a wedding? At her young age, Rhaena should only be betrothed, nothing more. Was he trying to marry her off to avoid some scandal? But Princess Rhaena was always in line, never one to care about boys.

“The King believes that it is ‘the perfect time’ for Rhaena and Aegon to marry. Each other.” their father finally said, after leaving them in silence for a moment.

Silence filled the room, like they all didn’t want to believe what they just heard. Did she hear that right? Was the King somehow planning to marry his two young children to each other? Disgust was clear on everyone’s faces. There had been this unspoken understanding that the Targaryens would adapt the Westerosi culture, as Aegon and his sisters accepted the faith of the seven. It was clear that incest was a huge sin, absolutely no cause for celebration. All the disgust aside, Princess Rhaena couldn’t have been bleeding for longer than a year, and Prince Aegon had just now started using a real sword in his training.

Ceryse knew Aegon better than his sister. He was a quiet boy, but not too shy, who followed all his lessons dutifully. He was always polite to her and they would sometimes chat, and she had promised to teach him Cyvasse one day, if he did well in his lessons. He did have a more mischievous side to him, as he loved playing pranks with Rhaena.

Rhaena, she didn’t see much, as she would spend all of her free time flying with Dreamfyre. During feasts and gatherings, she was more introverted and shy, and Ceryse always got the impression that being around people would tire the young Princess. She was not one to socialise, much to Queen Alyssa’s dismay.

That’s how Ceryse viewed them as; children. To ever imagine that the two would be soon bound by marriage, it was wrong, so very wrong. She could not imagine being forced to marry one of her brothers, it was unnatural and a disgrace to even think about.

“Who would even perform such a ceremony?” Martyn finally broke the silence in the room, turning to their father, who offered him the letter to inspect as well. He read it, and offered it to her as well, as he crossed his arms. Ceryse scanned it, hoping to discover that this was a misunderstanding of some sort, but no. It was indeed a formal invitation, in the writing of the King himself, which meant he specifically wrote to them to invite them.

“No septon would ever perform such a sin.” Morgan frowned, shaking his head in pure disbelief. Did Aenys realise what he had just done? Part of her hoped that he had only written to them, that they could burn this letter and pretend it never happened, for the consequences would be severe.

“Murmison. He would do it.” she finally said, finding her voice again. That man had been whispering in the King’s ear, she was certain that he had a role to play in this. He should’ve prevented the King from doing this, but Ceryse knew that he was encouraging it all. Was it out of foolishness, or was he that eager to have war declared on her goodbrother?

“Uncle will be furious once he hears of this.” Martyn said. He was right. Their uncle would certainly not be silent, not when he had been waiting for the dragonlords to step out of line. Had Aenys written to him? Invited him to perform the ceremony himself?

“Does he really expect us to go? To support this?” Morgan asked, looking at her directly. Ceryse frowned deeply. She couldn’t for the life of her understand how Aenys was thinking. And Alyssa? Where was she in all of this? How could she be okay with this? Then again, she was a Velaryon, she would be used to these customs.

“I don’t know what he expects to happen. I don’t even think he understands this is like a declaration for war.” she sighed, handing the letter to Morgan, so he’d get a turn in reading it too. Gods, she had only been gone half a fortnight, and now this was happening.

“The poor kids.” Morgan sighed, disgust clear on his face. “They’re stuck in this.” he said, returning the letter to the hands of their father. Morgan had only seen the Princess and Prince a few times, but he certainly did not think they were ready to be wed, let alone to be following this disgusting custom.

“Gods be good. What has he done?” Manfred Hightower pinched the bridge of his nose, wishing he never let his only daughter get involved with the Targaryens at all.

Rowan quietly watched as the Queen helped her daughter adjust the intricate headpiece, which she was not used to wearing. It was strange and sad to watch this little girl about to enter a woman’s role when she was barely fifteen years of age. Could Rhaena even comprehend why everyone seemed so uneasy, so disgusted with the match? How could she? She was just a child, brought up with the idea that it was her duty and honour as a Targaryen, how could she speak against her match?

The only positive Rowan saw in this was that the young Prince and Princess got along very well and already spent a lot of time together. Princess Rhaena would not be stuck with a harsh and impossible husband, but rather someone she knew well and got along with. The thought of that gave her some semblance of peace, if she looked past the massive catastrophe this match would bring along with it.

The dowager Queen had left the room where Alyssa was preparing her daughter for the announcement of the betrothal, taking Rowan with her. She never spent any time with her grandchildren, well, they weren’t really. She herself had never called them that. Rowan was glad to be out of the room though, as it only filled her with dread for what was to come. Helping Visenya prepare for court was a much more familiar and calming act.

“Does this disgust you greatly?” Visenya asked as Rowan brushed through her long silver locks. While she never brought it up to her before, she was sure her face betrayed her feelings. She wasn’t disgusted by the children, of course not, but the whole practice was…

“It’s… unusual. I thought this tradition would end after you all converted to the faith of the seven.” she answered, beginning to braid her hair in the updo she preferred. She never lied to her, never feared telling her how she felt about anything, she saw no reason to start now. Visenya gave her an understanding look.

“No, my girl. This tradition is an important one. Do you not remember what I taught you of Old Valyria? You were the most diligent of students.” she asked again. Rowan loved to learn, still did, but she loved it when the former Queen would teach her, when she’d recite stories and tell her of the history. Of course she remembered.

“I understand that it was to ensure the family fortune would remain within the family. But the crown would still belong to the Targaryens regardless of who Aegon marries.” she replied, but still had her doubts. It wasn’t like they’d be losing out on fortune, if anything the practice stopped them from getting more resources.

“It’s much more than that, you know this.” Visenya said, handing her a golden clip to pin the braid she had just finished. Rowan paused for a moment, knowing exactly what she was alluding to. She nodded.

“Rhaena has a dragon. That’s what must remain within the family.” she said, continuing with her brushing and braiding. Keeping the dragons within the family, that would be the wisest thing to do. It’s what set the Targaryens apart, what granted them the power, giving away would be foolish. But then it only brought up more questions for Rowan. If Rhaena had no dragon, would she be free of the practice? Was every Targaryen woman bound to the practice if she wanted to have a dragon of her own?

“There you go.” she smiled, nodding. Rowan wanted to ask more, so much more, but there wasn’t much time, and their relationship was still healing. She wondered often if Visenya had ever questioned it, or ever felt like rejecting the practice altogether. Had she always known she was to marry her own brother, or had she been made aware when she was older? Rowan knew that she always loved Aegon, but was there ever a time when it all felt wrong?

“Still… you know nobody will accept this. There will be repercussions.” she added, trying to focus more on the task at hand. She worried about riots, about something more serious happening. Riots had been happening here and there, but once the news of this broke out, Rowan couldn’t imagine what that could bring up. Visenya seemed eerily calm.

“I do not doubt it. Perhaps my nephew will finally grow a spine, who knows?” she asked lightheartedly. Rowan had given up trying to get Visenya to care a bit more about Aenys. She understood that there was simply too much there, but she had hoped she’d at least be on his side a little bit more.

“It’s just difficult to accept, I suppose.” she sighed, taking another golden clip from Visenya’s hand, making sure the braid had a perfect place. Even when she was young, she found the marriage between the three conquerors disturbing and wrong, before she knew all that lay beneath the surface. Now that she was a woman grown, everything just appeared more disturbing, especially when it came to the young Princess and Prince. Visenya gave her a sympathetic smile.

“My dear girl… you know that, had you married Maegor, the children you two had together would follow this practice, do you not?” she asked. Rowan’s movements stopped entirely. She looked at her through the mirror with shock. Rowan absolutely had dreams of having a family with Maegor, she had loved him so much, for so long, but none of those dreams involved… this. She wanted to raise her children in the faith, to find them all happy matches for their futures, she never thought the incestious tradition would carry on. Visenya immediately looked apologetic.

“I’m sorry… It’s easier when you don’t think too much about it. Think of them as cousins, if it helps.” she said, quickly changing the subject. She supposed if she pretended they were cousins, while still disturbing, it would be easier.

“Are there… news?” Rowan asked after a moment of silence. “From Pentos?” she added, looking away from the former Queen’s gaze in the mirror, continuing to braid her hair. Rowan knew she shouldn’t ask, she knew it would be easier on her shattered heart to not hear from him at all, to ignore his very existence, but she couldn’t. She couldn’t pretend he wasn’t on her mind at all times. The dowager Queen shook her head lightly, as to not disturb her from working on her hair.

“Nothing groundbreaking. He offered to send me some exotic herbs he found at the markets.” Visenya sighed with a small smile forming on her lips. Rowan heard lots of things about the markets of Pentos, especially the ones near the port. Any city near or on a port was to have prosperous markets, but Pentos had a lot of interesting things. She almost smiled at the sweet gesture of him sending his mother something he knew she loved. “He was very pleased to hear of your project.” she added. Rowan blushed, shaking her head.

“It’s hardly my project. I only offered to help support the septon get the approval from his grace.” she answered quickly. She never wanted to give out the impression that she was somehow in charge of this. It made her blush when she thought of him being happy to hear about her news, and if she ignored everything else that happened, she would even smile with joy. But she couldn’t forget what he did.

“And help them plan it, and finance most of it?” Visenya asked with a raised brow and a smile. Rowan met her gaze through the mirror, suddenly feeling very shy. The septon asked for her help because she and her father were constant presences in that space, and have helped a lot since the city had formed. He also knew that she had some wealthy friends that would help if needed, and indeed with Ceryse’s help, the contributions to the expansion grew greatly. It wasn’t like Rowan was the one laying the bricks.

“I only offered to help where I could…” she trailed, feeling somehow embarrassed. Visenya’s smile did not falter, however.

“He wanted you to know he was proud of you. As am I.” she said warmly, as Rowan placed the last braid in its place. She felt like she hadn’t done so much to earn their pride, as kind as it was for them to say.

“I…”

“Do not deflect my pride now. I know you are one of the most capable people in this city, and certainly the one I trust the most.” Visenya countered her doubts before she could even speak them out loud. Rowan looked down for a moment. Why were they proud of her? What had she done to earn pride? She shook her head lightly.

“You flatter me too much.” she said, taking the brush from the vanity. For a moment, the air between them felt light again.

“I do not spare flattery.” the dowager Queen countered once more, this time more firmly. She could already hear the sentences she wanted to add about not being too humble and that she was capable of doing great things. Rowan wasn’t sure if she wanted to hear it at the moment. “I did hear someone, a certain knight, has invited you to Oldtown?” she asked, changing the subject completely.

“Ser Morgan. Yes, he invited both my father and I.” she answered, a bit surprised that anyone had told her. She’d have to ask one day, maybe she’d reveal how she got to know everything that happened within the palace walls.

“For tea and a chat?” Visenya asked, her tone clearly urging her to say more.

“For a few moons.” Rowan replied, reaching for the hair oil on the vanity, to finish and perfect her hair. She wasn’t sure how she’d even approach this.

“Rowan, I know the past year has been hard on you, on your heart, but have you not given any thought to a suitor? I understand Tybolt Lannister was not your ideal choice, but this time, this one seems more serious.” she said, turning to now face her. Her eyes were sympathetic, apologetic too, as she seemed to understand how much this still affected her so deeply. Rowan let out a small sigh.

“I know. Ser Morgan is a lovely man. He would make a fine match, but… I only feel guilty.” she confessed, looking to the floor in shame. Morgan, in truth, was a dream match in every sense. It would unite their houses once more and strengthen their bond, not to mention they got along very well, and she’d get to live in Oldtown, which she had always wanted, plus she’d be Ceryse’s family. How many women would be this lucky to have a potential match be this good and compatible? And yet…

“Because he has taken a liking to you?” she asked, a look of disbelief on her features.

“Because it would be unfair. I cannot dedicate my heart to him…” she replied. Rowan felt so spoiled and ungrateful at that moment. Well, truly, during the whole time Morgan was showing interest. He was absolutely lovely, a man difficult to come by, a man that her father would be so happy to marry her off to. And yet she still loved Maegor with all her heart. It was so unfair, so cruel. Visenya grabbed her hand softly, getting her attention once more.

“You need not devote your heart. Most do not. You know how marriages are planned, you’ve known since you were young. I’m sure that with time, it will be easier.” she stated softly. It was true, it wasn’t even unheard of for a couple to meet at the altar for the very first time, then slowly start to care for each other. Love could grow where people nurtured it, yes, but Rowan felt like she’d be lying to him, that she was betraying him before a betrothal was even suggested out loud.

“I don’t know…” she sighed again. In truth, she wasn’t even sure when she’d visit. Her father was travelling to sell their house’s wood and honey to their usual buyers, great houses all over the kingdoms. And Rowan wanted to stay here, as much as she yearned for home and for Oldtown, she felt like she had to stay by the King’s side, as well as Visenya’s. “You’d be alright with me living in Oldtown?” she asked, this time more lightheartedly.

“Certainly not. I’d have him stationed here, to keep you close to me. Who better to keep you safe than Vhagar?” Visenya smiled again, shaking her head. The air felt light again. Rowan smiled at the mention of the dragon, shaking her head as well.

“I don’t think we’ll need to bother her with my protection, I doubt it’ll come to that.” she said. She couldn’t imagine a situation where she’d need Vhagar to help. She stayed away from trouble, followed every rule, she hoped there was never anything that serious directed at her.

“You know she’s grown fond of you. How long must I push you to join me for a flight? Just a short one, over the city.” the dowager Queen asked. She loved to fly. In her own words, it was one of the only places she felt safe to be herself. It was safe to be up in the clouds where nothing could touch you, freeing even. It was an honour she even offered for Rowan to join her at all.

“You know dragons frighten me! I can be around her, but that’s about it.” Rowan shook her head again. Maegor and Visenya had gotten her to touch her scales a few times, once even getting her to pet her snout, all while clinging onto Maegor for dear life, of course. But flying? No, Rowan couldn’t find it in herself to entertain the idea. Her cousin, Erin, always made fun of her about it, calling it a huge missed opportunity. Perhaps Rowan could invite her to join the former Queen. The thought made her smile.

“Mark my words, my girl, one day I’ll get you to join me. Let it be before I’m too old to climb on the saddle.” Visenya smiled lightly again.

“I cannot promise that to you.” Rowan countered, a more playful tone in her voice now. Visenya smiled, seeming glad. She got up, checking her hair in the mirror before giving Rowan a look of approval and thanking her.

“Now come. Let us go, the King awaits.” she said, leading her to the throne room, where the lords and ladies of the court awaited.

The announcement was not met with any joy, as Aenys had been certain of, but disapproval and awkwardness and disgust. Silent judgement from the lords and ladies who still wished to be on the King’s good graces, as well as fake smiles, but some even responded with outright animosity. It was heartbreaking to watch the young Princess and Prince’s smiles drop at the reaction, and the confusion in their eyes as they looked toward their mother and father for answers. Rowan also worried for the Queen. Her pregnancy had been giving her a hard time this time around, and the maesters had strongly suggested a calm and relaxing environment.

Aenys was devastated, his hopes crushed. But the worst was yet to come. A raven from Oldtown, from the HIgh Septon himself, declaring the match an abomination, an act against the gods, and threatening heavy repercussions should the betrothal not be broken right away.

Rowan had been helping Visenya with her correspondence when Aenys rushed through the doors, the distress clear on his face, the letter in his trembling hand. Before Rowan could even react, Visenya spoke up.

“Nephew.” she greeted him firmly, the way she always did. She seemed so calm, like she was expecting things to play out this very way.

“Your grace.” Rowan greeted, far more formally and with worry in her eyes at his state. Aenys only nodded in acknowledgement, trying to catch his breath from rushing here.

“I… I do not know what to do.” he said, his voice betraying confusion and even fear. Rowan had already gotten up from the desk where she was writing the dowager Queen’s letters, and felt so bad she wanted to give him a hug. But she remained in her spot.

“With what?” Visenya asked, despite knowing exactly why, as it was so clear and obvious. Rowan looked at her with pleading eyes, silently begging her to be kind to him, especially with how clearly distressed he was. These were his children that were affected, and therefore he was more stressed than ever before.

“With this.” he said, handing his aunt the letter with his shaking hand. As Visenya read, Rowan wondered if he was angry. He seemed worried, even fearful, but was he not at least a little bit angry at the reactions he had received? Visenya finished reading, and handed the letter to Rowan. She read quickly, worried to see what had happened.

“It’s quite simple, nephew. Either you break the betrothal and find new matches for your daughter and son, or take your dragon to Oldtown and have the High Septon answer to him.” she replied bluntly. Rowan visibly stiffened at the suggestion of violence, as did Aenys, but Visenya was unflinching, almost challenging him, sizing him up to see if he’d do it.

“I do not wish for my reign to be one of war.” he finally spoke up, but it wasn’t a firm statement of a King. It was like a plea, a prayer of sorts, perhaps even to the gods if he believed in them instead of just claiming them in name, the way Visenya and Maegor did. The former Queen scoffed at him like he was an annoying child.

“You are a blind fool if you think you can avoid this. How do you think we conquered Westeros? By asking everyone nicely by raven?” she asked, crossing her arms. The tension between the two grew quickly, as Aenys straightened his back and his mouth thinned.

An awkward silence followed, before Aenys turned his lilac eyes to Rowan.

“What do you think?” he asked, catching her off-guard. She was not used to giving opinions on matters as important, and quite frankly scary, as this one. If anything, she’d be looking to Visenya and her father for answers, but she understood that the King did not have that luxury.

“Me?” Rowan asked, completely surprised. Visenya seemed curious to what approach she’d advise him to take as well. “I… I do not know if you can reach a compromise with the faith on this subject, not so suddenly. Marrying a cousin, that’s not unheard of, but a sibling? A marriage of this kind would be the first performed in this realm.” she said gently. Aenys looked at her in a way she did not think was possible. His eyes widened and he looked betrayed and hurt, making Rowan almost gasp.

“You agree with him, with the HIgh Septon. You think we are abominations.” he said, his tone not accusatory, but hurt. Rowan was quick to shake her head, to walk closer to him.

“No, no, Aenys, I do not think that of you, of any of you. Although I admit that the practice is very strange and foreign, it does not sway my loyalty to you.” she said, trying to assure him, as he looked to be in huge distress. He studied her face for a moment, his expression not changing, before Visenya sighed and spoke up.

“If she thought us disgusting, she would not voluntarily remain in our presence and service, nephew, let alone offer us her help. She speaks the truth. You cannot negotiate with the High Septon. Either you stand your ground, or you break the betrothal.” she repeated her stance, looking at him expectantly. But Aenys gave no answer. He turned around and left. Rowan assumed it would be to go discuss this with Alyssa, even with Rhaena and Aegon as well.

After that day, Rowan awaited nervously for a decision. Visenya would pat her gently on the shoulder when she saw her pick at her fingertips, a small comfort. When the King’s decision was made, one thing was certain. War.

In the sept of Remembrance, the sept built on the Hill of Rhaenys in her memory. That’s where the wedding would taka place. For once, the King stood his ground and made a firm decision. Unfortunately, this decision would only mean war. The very people of King’s Landing were turning against him, when just one year ago, those same people cheered for him and his ascension to the throne.

Rowan had never seen a reaction so huge, so negative and extreme, this against the crown, and so unanimous. Even with Visenya assuring her safety, Rowan still drowned in worry, for her family, her father, her friends, for the people, for Aenys, for everyone and everything.

She wished Maegor was here.

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#maegor targaryen #maegor targaryen x oc #maegor the cruel #ceryse hightower #more taytay refs

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miraclesabound · 2 years ago

Text

Miasma

Summary: Joel has a chance to make things right with an acquaintance from before the outbreak. Also at AO3.

Pairing: Joel Miller/F!Plus Size!OC Odette Green Phillips, past Odette Green/Max Phillips

Note: The flashback scene is directly inspired by something I went through in college. Miasma is defined as "an atmosphere of unpleasant smells".

Now with fan art by @miranhas-art!

Warnings: Episode 9 spoilers, loss of a spouse, Odette getting an inferiority complex and it's partly Joel's fault, age gap, remembering a deceased spouse, description of a heart attack, nightmares about Sarah and Ellie, Joel continuing to lie, first kiss.

Tags: @writeforfandoms, @the-ginger-hedge-witch, @joelmillerscoffeemug, @oonajaeadira, @grogusmum, @blueeyesatnight, @hopeamarsu, @lavenderursa, @littlemisspascal, @simpingcowboy

May 2024 – Jackson

Joel was used to seeing people’s grocery bundles at the Jackson general store, but his curiosity was piqued when he walked in one day to see a sizeable pack of soaps and perfumes waiting for pick-up. Tommy, who was coming in behind him, saw where his brother was looking and chuckled slightly. “It seems like a lot to me, too – but that’s what Mrs. Phillips likes to order.”

Joel shrugged. “I suppose this is pretty tame, given what people would trade their ration cards for back in the QZ.”

“She’s an Austin girl, as it happens – she went to UT around the same time you did,” Tommy told him. “She came up with her husband five years ago – he passed about six months after they arrived.”

“That’s a shame,” Joel said.

“It really is – no one deserves that, but Odette especially didn’t. She’s close with Maria, but I’m sure a friendly word from someone back home would help too, if you have the chance.”

The name tickled at Joel’s memory, though he couldn’t quite place why. “Did she ever say what her maiden name was?”

“Green – why?”

“Ah shit,” Joel muttered. “I don’t think I should make a social call, Tommy – I” He was interrupted by the ringing of the store bell as someone walked inside.

The woman who stepped in brought a slight whiff of her perfume with her– warm sugar and vanilla, if Joel’s nose hadn’t failed him. Her clothes were neat and fit nicely on her plump frame, her dark hair was perfectly done, and for the moment, she didn’t seem to know him.

Tommy smiled. “Well, speak of the devil. Joel, this is Odette Phillips. Odette, this is my brother Joel, I don’t know if you two ever met.”

Joel could see the recognition light up Odette’s face, and if he felt a little sick remembering when they last spoke, Odette looked like she was going to throw up. She quickly grabbed her bag from the clerk, verified the contents, and ran out of the store as if she expected danger to follow her.

Tommy watched Odette leave, and then turned to look at Joel with a raised eyebrow.

“That’s what I was trying to tell you,” Joel said. “I’m pretty sure she hates my fuckin’ guts.”

UT-Austin – February 1997

When Joel Miller caught up with her after their engineering course let out for lunch, Odette Green’s heart initially soared. The older man had earned her admiration over the semester – he was working on a certification for his carpentry business, and he spoke with such pride about his daughter Sarah, who’d just turned 6. It seemed like he had a new photo of her in his wallet every time that Odette saw him.

Add to that that he was utterly gorgeous and funny, and was it any wonder that Odette had been getting sweet on him? He had even sat next to her today in class – when she’d finished her work, she found herself leaning into him and resting her head on his shoulder. He’d felt like everything warm and safe and solid.

Joel said something that briefly sounded like “I’m in love with you.” Although Odette wanted to kiss him for that, she realized that with the noise of the other students leaving, she couldn’t be sure that’s what he said. “Joel, I’m so sorry, can you repeat that?”

He did just that, and this time Odette clearly heard his words: “I’ma level with you, ok?”

“Ok, fire away.”

“What you did in there wasn’t appropriate. I know you’re young, but even if we were a couple, which we aren’t, cozying up to me like that in public wouldn’t be all right, and you need to learn that.”

Odette swore she could feel her heart crack from embarrassment – she hadn’t realized how badly she’d misread him. That feeling turned into nausea when he followed up with, “And to be quite honest, you’re not smelling great. I don’t know if it’s BO or something you had for breakfast, but it wasn’t pleasant.”

Odette felt tears start to prick the edges of her eyes – not just because of Joel criticizing her, but because he was right. She knew she was behind on her laundry – she hadn’t even had the chance to take a shower before coming to class today. And even if she were fresh as a daisy, what was she thinking acting like Joel was hers to lean on?

Doing her best to keep her voice from shaking, Odette said, “Then all I can do is apologize. It won’t happen again – excuse me.” She walked past him – but instead of going to the dining hall, she went straight back to her dorm and jumped into the shower, turning the water on brutally hot and scrubbing herself nearly raw. After the shower, she gathered her quarters and her laundry – she got both loads of clothes done within about four hours.

The next day in class, she made sure to sit in a different row from Joel. In fact, they didn’t speak to each other again.

May 2024 – Jackson

After telling Maria and Tommy about what happened back in school, Joel was surprised when they said he could probably smooth things over. However, he did trust Maria’s judgement as Odette’s friend. He went to the Phillips residence the next morning, hoping that Odette wouldn’t slam the door in his face when she saw him.

When he knocked and announced himself, Odette called out, “Ok, just give me a few minutes!”

He waited as he heard some rustling inside, the quick sound of a tap running and shutting off – and then Odette opened the front door.

She was pretty, Joel realized as he looked at her. When they’d had class together, all he’d noticed was that Odette was far too young for him – she’d been barely 20, and he’d been 29. However, middle age had been kind to her. Her features were more refined, her eyes still sparkled, and she carried her weight with more grace. On top of it, she had on a different perfume today – Chanel maybe? He remembered the smell from the bottles his dad would occasionally buy for his mom.

“What can I do for you, Joel?” Odette asked. “I’m sorry about the wait – I was doing some housework and I had to freshen up.”

There was no venom in her voice, and Joel decided that he should cut to the chase. “I know it was years ago, but I was hoping I could apologize for being a prick back at UT.”

“Well, I accept your apology,” she said in a civil tone.

They stood there in silence for a few moments, and it was Odette who cut in first. “Is that all you came to say?” Her tone still had no malice or heat behind it, only curiosity.

Joel leaned in just enough so that the frame of the door could support his weight. “I mean…if I could come in and we could catch up, I wouldn’t mind.”

Odette smiled – an expression that Joel hadn’t seen on her face in 27 years. “Sure.”

“It wasn’t just about the thing that happened in class,” Odette explained when Joel asked about her dashing away from him the previous day. They were sitting in her living room, taking in the warmth coming through the back window. “I saw Sarah’s memorial at Tommy and Maria’s place, of course – and when I saw you, the thought of what happened to her came rushing back.” She closed her eyes, letting out a breath. “I could tell it was gonna make me cry, and I didn’t want to make it all about me, so I booked it.”

“Make it about you? I don’t follow.”

“I’m not the one who lost their child,” Odette said. “I didn’t want to make you or Tommy have to comfort me.”

Joel looked at her in confusion. “That’s … quite a jump to make, Odette. You wouldn’t have been making me do anything.”

Odette paused, as if that hadn’t occurred to her. “…I wouldn’t, would I? Sorry about that – old habits die hard.”

“Old habits?” Joel asked.

“Yeah – you hear from certain people that you’re being inappropriate, and you’ll do anything to make yourself presentable.”

Joel winced, remembering his words from the last time they’d spoken nearly three decades ago. “…who else was it?”

“My best friend at the time,” Odette said. “I believe the exact term she used for me was ‘emotional vampire’ – she said she loved me to death, but I was exhausting to be around. I started trying to prove her wrong, to be a good friend, to not unload all my problems on her – and then that thing with you happened.”

“So it was a one-two punch?”

“Oh, worse than that – she landed punch number 3. I told her what happened – she could tell I was upset about something – and she said that just proved her right that I had a boundary problem and it had gotten me in trouble.” Odette shrugged. “The whole ‘perfect clothes, perfect behavior, perfect smell, perfect me’ thing I’ve got now started after that.”

“…I don’t think I like this woman.”

Joel’s understatement caught Odette off guard, and she burst into laughter – the giggles and chuckles making her whole body shake. Joel found himself chuckling slightly too – it was nice to see her happy.

When Odette finally caught her breath, she thanked him – “Sorry about that,” she said. “It’s just that…heh heh…my husband Max said the exact same thing when I told him later why I’m like this.” Her tone became gentler. “He was actually really lovely about all of it…” The two of them were quiet for a moment, and she shook her head. “Ah, you don’t want to hear me get all mushy, I’m sure.”

“Odette, stop.” Joel put a hand over hers. “I’m not gonna make you clam up in your own house. Don’t try reading my mind, yeah?”

“Oh, now you really sound like him,” Odette said, doing her best not to get distracted by the physical contact.

“Tell me about him?” Joel gave her hand the slightest squeeze.

Odette pondered for a moment. “He…loved me the way I needed,” she said. “We met a few months after I graduated in ’98 – and he could tell that I had some sort of complex about myself, but he didn’t take it as an insult or make fun of me for being so stiff. He was just – there, and constant, and weird, and funny. He’d make the stupidest jokes – but he’d also buy me a perfume if he knew it would help me feel clean. I must have had ten different open perfume bottles when the outbreak happened. And then…he protected me.”

“Well, that’s what a husband's supposed to do for his wife, right?” Joel didn’t like how Odette made “protected” sound like such a high bar to clear.

“Not just physically,” she told him. “We got shuffled to the Dallas QZ for a few years, which was its own brand of bullshit – and then when we struck out on our own, the wilderness was frightening. No matter where we were, he was keeping me physically safe, sure – but he was also keeping me sane. In the QZ, he would still try to trade for interesting perfumes and soaps so that he could get me presents for my birthdays. When we were on the road, he…kept me from dirtying my hands. He always made it so he would be the one to do it if we had to…steal, or defend ourselves, or whatever else might happen – he didn’t want that on my soul. That counts as protection, right?”

“I guess it does – but then I don’t get it,” Joel said. “How does such a strong guy pass at 43?” It may have been a rude question, but he was genuinely confused.

“The same way he lived – looking after me,” Odette said – and here, Joel saw her start to tear up. “I’d learned how to ride, so I was out with Maria on patrol, and we got cut off by a bad snow. Max found us quickly – but something about the search over-exerted his heart. He collapsed as soon as we got back, and he never woke up. Maria taking him to the hospital was more a formality than anything else.”

Joel knew from his own horrific experience that there were no words of sympathy that would be enough – so instead, he lifted his arm, offering Odette the option to lean into him. When she looked at him questioningly, he nodded and pulled her into his side.

“I’m really a lot better – I was a wreck that first year,” she told him. “I guess I’m just…trying to look after myself the way he looked after me. I keep to my schedules, and my outfits, and my fancy soaps – not just for myself, but to remind me of him.”

“That makes good sense.”

Odette wiped at her tears, glad that she hadn’t worn make-up today. “And what keeps you sane these days, Joel?”

“I don’t think sane is the right word,” Joel admitted. “But I’ve been busy for the last year. Ellie, that little girl with me, needed to get out this way from Boston to…meet with her family, and I ended up being the guy for the job.” He prayed that Odette didn’t notice how he’d paused. “I found out almost too late that her people weren’t safe. I’m just glad there was a place for us here.”

Odette didn’t press him for details – leaning against him like this, she felt his exhaustion as if it were her own. “Have you had a chance to rest at all?” she asked.

“Honestly, this is my first day off,” Joel said. “I’ve been running around helping out where I can, getting Ellie’s situation figured out – being able to just sit down has been nice.”

“I’m glad – I try to keep things comfortable here. I don’t get a lot of company, but I don’t want to spend a whole visit cleaning if someone does stop by.” Odette looked up at Joel and her mouth tightened slightly. “Honestly, do you want to crash out for a bit? You look beat – there’s a guest room upstairs.”

“You sayin’ I look bad?” Joel said in a joking tone.

Odette smiled to show she got the joke, but when she answered, she was serious. “Not at all – you never have. I’m just saying, I know I’m tired and I’m not the one who hoofed it halfway across the country. If you’ve got the time, seriously, the guest bed is yours. The bathroom is at the top of the steps.”

Joel didn’t need to be told again. He gave Odette one more side-hug and was asleep upstairs within ten minutes.

Sunset was approaching, and while Odette had been sincere when she told Joel she appreciated company, she wanted to make sure he wasn’t sick. He’d been asleep for several hours now, and she was sure he was hungry. Walking up the stairs, she knocked on the guest room door: “Joel, it’s after 5, you ok in there?”

“Yeah…yeah, give me a minute…”

Odette was worried – something about his voice sounded off. “Can I come in?” she asked.

“It’s your house.”

“Ok.” She pushed the door open – and the sight in front of her broke her heart. Joel was sitting on the bed, blankets half off, his hair was messy from sleep, and his eyes were rimmed with tears. “Hey, what’s going on? Are you ok?”

“Nightmare,” Joel said, an audible gulp passing through his throat. “Ellie’s family, they…they somehow had Sarah too, and I was too late for both of my girls, and – ”

Odette sat next to him, hugging him around the shoulders. “That’s all I need to know,” she said. “I’m so sorry – oh!” She felt herself tip over – Joel had collapsed back onto the bed and taken her with him, wrapping his arms tight around her thick waist.

“Please,” Joel whispered. “Just…don’t go.”

Odette shivered – the breath of the words tickled her neck. “You sure?” she tried to joke. “I was cleaning the kitchen while you slept, I’m sure I don’t smell fresh.”

Joel pulled her more tightly to his body, and he ran his nose along her throat. “You smell real,” he told her. “You smell real and warm and alive.”

Odette could tell that if she were standing up, her legs would be going out from under her – no one had gotten this close to her in at least a year. “You don’t need to butter me up, Joel,” she said, her voice sounding much steadier than she felt. “If there’s something you need from me, just say so.”

Joel didn’t speak – instead, he took Odette’s chin and kissed her fiercely, as if he was afraid she would fade out of his arms. Odette gasped against his lips, but when he pulled away, thinking he’d offended her, she tangled her fingers in his hair and smashed their mouths back together.

#the last of us fanfiction #the last of us spoilers #joel miller x oc

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catgirl-yeji · 11 months ago

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this shapeshifting vessel is a lie

hi and welcome to my corner of the internet. this blog is still under construction until I can add my about page ( did you know that you have to personally ask support to be allowed to use a page code with javascript in it? :)) well, you do now ) so beware of the construction tape!

I'm Autumn or Faon, I use they/them pronouns and I was born '95. ticked about all the boxes on the queer registration form and I'm currently in a queerplatonic poly relationship. central european & white. future linguistics & politics student, and plant parent. I really adore vampires and I write original and fan fiction, as well as poetry. I speak german and english, and I'm studying french, korean, japanese and finnish. lover of bats, snakes, horsies, deer and cats, as well as sharks. 🦈 I sometimes draw cat ears or fangs onto idols and actors ( see: my icon ), if you'd like me to make you an icon, drop me a DM.

my hyperfixations and interests change over time — yes, it was a phase, mom! name a constant state of being, mom! — and I change my username every two or so years. currently I'm really into the quantum leap spin-off, the motherland: fort salem show, and I'm watching a couple of k-dramas and such at the side. I play baldur's gate 3, stardew valley and control, but also 2064: read only memories.

I was very active in the shadowhunters and the dragon age fandom as well an 00q shipper. I will reblog every single gif of spirit - stallion of the cimarron, it's my childhood movie;; also, Jin Oshiro from STRAY (2019) deserved better, thank you for your attention.

you may know me as leafmiilk, taehdenveri, fliederfuchs or thetevinterelf — and most recently @catboy-jaebeom ! 🌺

tumblr veteran and survivor of the mishapocalypse. I've been renting this space ( occupying, maybe, rather? skjsdlkgs it's not like I pay rent ) since 2012, and trust me when I say: this website is a hellsite, but it's our hellsite, so, I'll stay until the last person switches off the lights, probably. >< a lot of other social media networks just never grew on me quite like tumblr.

I have two sideblogs worth noting: @splittergheist, my writing blog where I post short stories and poems irregularly, and my secret and private miscecanis / omegaverse blog ( a lot more interested in the world-building, concept and lifestyle than the smut, but no hate! ) that I may give out if you ask nicely and privately. also, if you're interested in some tumblr rp, you can message me as well, I have an OC blog for that. 🐰

that said, I tag my posts extensively, so if you need me to tag something, you can shoot me an ask and I'll try to tag specific things for you! please be nice in my inbox or I'll simply delete your ask and block you. 💛 oftentimes I'll message you privately when you send me an ask that doesn't seem like it should be answered publicly ( unless you've sent it on anon ofc ) and while I do answer tag games, I'm too anxious to tag ppl myself unless we're like super close, sorry ><

I track #faon.tagged. if you make ( especially kpop ) content you think I'd like ( itzy, got7, nct & wayv but especially ten, xiaojun and yuta, red velvet, shinee, svt but especially joshua, mingyu and dk, skz but especially hyujin and felix, but also others! ) you can use this tag, I'm always happy to reblog pretty gifs and support you guys, you're the backbone of our and any community.

relevant kpop stuff can be found under the cut, as well as some 'reviews' my lovely mutuals wrote for me ( if you like to leave a review, hit me up in my DMs! ) thank u, ily 💚🌼

and thank you everyone else for reading this, may your days be bright, I think we could all use that at the moment;; I'd super love new ppl to talk to ( pls have your age or an approximate in your bio! while I'm fine with talking to minors, I'd like to know beforehand if I do ), so message me!!

kpop stuff

ult group: got7

other groups I like: nct 127, itzy, wayv, shinee, red velvet, seventeen, oneus, ...

soloists I adore: xia / kim junsu, taemin, ...

biases: lim jaebeom & choi youngjae; nakamoto yuta & xiaojun; kang seulgi; hwang yeji & lee chaeryeong; joshua hong & lee seokmin; choi minho & lee taemin; kim leedo & lee seoho; park seonghwa & jeong yunho; kanemoto yoshi; ...

wreckers: mark tuan & kim yugyeom; ten lee; kim mingyu & lee woozi; kang yeosang & song mingi; shin ryujin; ...

for as long as xitter still exists, I can be found under jaebueomgi.

blog reviews

@meant-to-be-a-hero wrote on november 22nd:

Shall I compare Autumn's blog to a summer's day? I shall not, because I am not a hack. Equal parts language jokes, kpop boys (and girls, but I don't look at those) and #bitter millennial blogging, there's something for everyone here at Autumn's blog. They are also one of the few people who still write funky things in the tags, a true dying breed on Tumblr. I feel like I'm reviewing a restaurant or something. Either way, click follow, thank me later, because you will. It's a good blog, Bront.

— ★★★★★(★★) [ 7 out of 5 ]

@klutenpetter wrote on november 22nd:

It seems I have misplaced the URL of the blog in question that I was supposed to review.

— ★★★★★ [ 5 out of 5 ]

#faon.own #faon.pinned

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hyunsuks-beanie · 2 years ago

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Matters of the Heart Ep. 2

Pairing: Best friend! Yeonjun x gn. reader

Genre: Fluff; Angst; Maybe eventual smut. This part has lots of angst bc that's what I saw in my dream lol

Content Warnings: University au!; lots of pining; our main leads being stupid; Yeonjun with an oc! girlfriend; I haven't planned smut for this one, but it might well turn suggestive or maybe even smutty

Word Count: 2.12k words

Mellow speaks: Here's part two oh my gosh!! I'm nervous for this one but I hope you guys like it!!!

Tagging: @sweethyuka @yedamology @enhacolor @axartia @hyunsuksmygod @yogurteume @duolingofanaccount @zurimochi @yogurteume @blahbluhblahbluh @yeonyeonyeonjun @yjs6x @silent--cry @delacyrose224 @rlajjunie @jjunbugg @blue-last-page-514 @bluxjun @yutacchin

(Taglist is open!! Send in an ask/dm to be added, or simply comment under this post!)

《Previous Next》

"G-girlfriend?"

Even the word sounds foreign rolling off your tongue, somehow leaving a bad taste in your mouth. You're dumbfounded to say the least, the happiness you had been feeling for the past half hour sinking into the depths as your heart falls to the pit of your stomach. "This can't be happening...," your mind says in a whisper, as all the memories of the years you've spent knowing Yeonjun, and especially of the past six months, come rushing back to you.

Was it all a lie, then? All the lovely petnames, the sweet nothings shared through the computer screen during the dark of the night, the lingering touches and the stolen glances whenever you went out on lunch with the group? Was it all just meant to be a friendly gesture, something done just in the name of being a good friend? But then why had they made you feel the way they did, made your hear flutter and your knees grow weak?

Or maybe it had been you who had misinterpreted his affectionate ways, had confused the way he used to throw his arm around your shoulders or pull your form into his chest and place soft kisses to your forehead, for something more than it actually was. But then, why would Taehyun always tease him by saying he was possessive about you, and why would Beomgyu always be at his throat for favoring you more than the others?

And as if that wasn't enough, you can't forget the way every person on campus, from the professors to the freshman, had mistaken the two of you for a couple at least once, only for Yeonjun to play along with their confusion half the time and lie about being your boyfriend. All of that couldn't possibly be a lie, a mistake, could it? Couldn't possibly have been your mind playing tricks on you, making you fool yourself into believing he felt something more for you than he let on.

It's only a moment, but it still feels as if an eternity has passed with you being alone with your thoughts. There's only so many questions in your head, a whirlwind of emotions as you feel your heart break a little. Yes, you had been trying to deny your feelings for your best friend, but they had only been pushing forward more and more each day. And seeing him in person after so long had made you feel like you wouldn't be able to hold back any longer, but here you are. Confused and just a teensy bit hurt, the only thing you can ask is, "How long have you guys been dating?"

No "Congratulations," no "How could you not tell me, Jjun? I thought we were best friends." Instead, all you could muster was a question that probably completely betrayed your shock, putting on display to the world just how broken you felt. Of course, that's just your thoughts making it impossible for you to wrap your head around the news, but as you look into Yeonjun's eyes, hardened and with a faraway, almost guilt-stricken look in his eyes, there's nothing you can do to stop them.

It's at least a few beats before he even attempts to reply, his mouth opening and closing as if he's contemplating how to come clean. Which is nothing if not absurd, because why should he have to come clean when he hasn't done anything wrong? In the end, he can't seem to find the right words, but lucky for him, his girlfriend is there to pick up the conversation. "About two months," she says, throwing in a quick mention of her name being "Yena," before launching into the tale of how they met when she auditioned for being his co-host on the radio four months ago.

"Two months," you repeat to yourself, trying to simultaenously force a smile and stomach the fact that during the time you were dreaming about running into Yeonjun's arms and confessing your feelings to him the second you met him again, he had been getting involved with another girl, showing her the love you used to think he had kept aside for you. It's a lot for you to take, and all you want to do in that moment is dash to your apartment that you haven't even stepped foot in since coming back, curl into a ball on your bed, and cry.

But you know you can't do that, so instead, you force yourself to smile just a little wider, an "I'm so happy for you guys" finally slipping past your lips, long overdue. And as your words make their way towards Yena, the smile that she sends you is enough to make you give up on being petty (at least for a while), and focus on being a nice friend to the person who's done the same for you, for years.

So you choose to let your guard down, asking questions and giving answers and swapping anecdotes with the newest member to your gang, telling her all that is to know about her boyfriend and asking her what he's been up to while you were gone. "You need to tell me all that he did behind my back," you laugh, your tone teasing as it starts to get a little easier to breathe again. The commotion around you that had come to a halt barely a couple minutes ago starts again, the fact that the cake

"And you have to tell me everything about what he likes and what he doesn't, because he hardly ever tells me that," replies Yena, lifting her head up to look at the man standing next to her. You can't help but follow her gaze, looking right into Yeonjun's eyes as the words die in the back of your throat. You're only pretending though, pretending you're looking at him when in reality, your own eyes are glossed over by the unshed tears that are visible to no one.

Because there's no other way you could have failed to notice the sadness swimming behind the brown of his irises, or even the way his lips quivered a little as he watched you smile at the prospect of him finding a partner, at the prospect of someone having the right to call him hers, and of that person not being you.

"Does it not hurt you even a little?," is what he thinks to himself, a silent observer as you launch into another monologue about him, your arms waving wildly to emphasize just how much of a cuddle bug he is, even though you face bears no hint of even acknowledging his presence. It breaks his heart in two, your lack of reaction. He knows that he should be happy with Yena, should be happy that you're happy for him. And yet, all he finds himself feeling is an emptiness, as if the last embers of hope that he had kept hidden away inside hum were put out at last, washed over with the ice cold sensation of your indifference.

If only he knew of the pain you were feeling. If only you could see the hurt he was suffering.

But no, neither of you do, instead choosing to turn a blind eye to how much you mean to the other. It's painfully obvious to everyone except the two of you, and of course, poor Yena too. Taehyun can clearly see the way you're desperately trying to keep your composure, and Beomgyu can tell that as you stand there, talking animatedly about the guy you insist on just being you friend, you're like water filled to the brim in a glass, ready to fall over by the slightest of noises.

Yeonjun, on the other hand, seems no better to Kai and Soobin, the looks on their faces full of concern as they watch him crack a soft smile at the one holding his hand, letting go only to pull her closer to him in a move that's belated at best and reluctant at worst, his expression clearly betraying the longing in his heart. The longing for you. They want to say something, to do something, to shake you by the shoulders or punch him in the face, anything that would make you see that your feelings aren't one-sided.

Yet, there's nothing they can do except trying to lighten the mood, eager not to let your return party turn sour.

So they do what they do best, acting like idiots in a bid to distract at least one of you. One second Beomgyu is clicking selfies next to the cake that's lying untouched to the side, and the next, he's pouncing on you with a huge section of it, slamming it right onto your face and coating it in cream. "Jjun, you remember that time when-," the question that was falling past your lips never sees the light of day. Why, you ask?

Because it gets replaced with a "Beomgyu what the fu-" as you take to hitting your classmate on the shoulder, completely mindless to how the nearly indispensable but genuine smile that had made its way to Yeonjun's lips threatens to fade away again. That is until he sees you playing around with the boys, Kai and Soobin whisking you up onto their shoulders and doing a parade as you laugh your heart out.

That's the first time since you met Yena that he's witnessed you laugh like that, your face shimmering in the sunlight as you stick your tongue out, licking whatever is left of the cream, off your fingertips. He doesn't know why, but that laughter somehow makes him feel at ease, reminding him that even if you don't return his feelings, even if you never come to know of them and he never gets to confess, he's still your best friend, something he is intent on continuing to be.

And that's liberating if nothing else, his eyes skimming over to Yena who's looking on at the procession in wonder. "Let's join them, shall we?," he finds himself asking, making her smile before pulling at her hand as he launches himself into the chaos. Soon enough, he's hugging you again, careful to keep his distance this time as he tells himself that Yena is the one he's dating, reaching out for her hand and placing random kisses to her cheeks, finding his happiness with her.

As the two of you lose yourselves in the festivities that surround you, the pain and despair gradually take a backseat, and the happiness that had been buzzing and bubbling for the past few days fills your veins up. You know you only have the boys to thank for making you smile, and you know you're going to actually have to treat them to a drink later, but for now, all you want to focus on is cherishing the love you're feeling.

And that's what you do, letting loose and catching up with old friends, and swapping secrets and making bonds with the new ones, Yena being on top of the list. You think to yourself you ought to dislike her, on principle anyway, but the warmth with which she's treating you leaves no room for even thinking ill of her, much less making her your enemy. So you choose to make her a pal, letting her into your life your life on your terms, and not because you were forced to.

The afternoon finally feels sweet, the air a little lighter as you enjoy a few moments more as people start trickling away one by one, but not before giving you one last hug. Yena is among the first to leave, pressing a kiss to Yeonjun's cheek as she rushes off to class. Before you know it, the only ones left behind are the boys and you, the gang.

It feels like time hasn't passed a bit as you look around, the smiles on their faces making your heart clench. Yet, you know everything has changed, something that's made even more obvious as you get left alone with the person you don't want to be alone with, the others making up excuses before disappearing into the crowd. It's awkward to say the least, as you are made to meet his eye. The look in them is something you can't quite place, his gaze piercing into your very soul as he stares you down.

But you're too stubborn to relent, not wanting to let him see you break. So you do the one thing you know will be the make-or-break for you, and ask him the question that's been bugging you since you came to know.

"Why didn't you tell me?"

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xpeachesncream · 4 years ago

Text

how many drinks? | one shot (jjk)

summary: the question is - how many drinks would it take for you to sleep with your bestfriend?

pairing: jjk x reader

genre: (18+) college au, dance group au, bestfriends/bestfriends with some benefits au | fluff, smut, sprinkle of angst

words: ~12.2k

warnings: cussing, mature language/implied sexual content, kind of crack-y, dancer!jk to fulfill my needs, unprotected sex, sprinkle of dirty talk, fingering, sprinkle of a handjob, slight biting, nails digging into skin, oc almost gets taken advantage of/forced into doing things she doesn’t wanna do, rough handling, song kang is in this too because i’m also a hooch for him but he’s an ass here, alcohol consumption, intoxication, mentions of blunts/smoking, house parties, cuddling, kissing/makeout sessions, straddling, breast/nipple play, hickeys, fucking on the edge of the bed, multiple orgasms, fingering, licking/neck kisses, oral (f. receiving)

note: one shot title is taken from miguel's song ‘how many drinks’ + a couple of things--

both hoseok and jimin’s piece mentioned below are inspired by real-life pieces my old dance mentor has choreographed and taught. this is the inspiration behind hoseok’s couple piece; this is the inspiration for jimin’s piece

i’m a hooch for all three of them in this video

enjoy imagining koo and oc dancing part of their couples piece like this 🥺

"Y/N." You picked up Jungkook's call as you sat at your desk in your dorm room. You had been finishing up your bio homework until the interruption came blaring through on your headphones.

"Yes?"

"Can I nap in your room?"

"The fuck I look like? A hotel?" You snorted.

"Yeah, a 5 star at that with how good you take care of me." He tries to butter you up, causing you to roll your eyes.

"You're lucky I like you."

"Yesssssssss!" You hear him faintly exclaim on the other line. "Be there in a sec."

"You know my doors are always unlocked." Which, it was true. So many of your friends had decided to live off campus that you and your other bestfriend [and beloved suitemate] were probably the only few left on campus. And that meant people were constantly in your room, hanging out or using both of your rooms, [with permission] or the couches in the shared living room space of your suite as a place to nap. College, amirite? Why the fuck would you lose your parking spot to go back to your apartment when you have friends who lived right on campus? You weren't just good for smuggling free food from the cafeteria to your broke ass, struggling off-campus friends.

Sooner or later, you're greeted by a fluffy, black-haired Jungkook, looking like his shit must have air-dried with how wavy and voluminous it was. He swings your door open so aggressively that you jump a bit in your seat, swinging off your headphones like you weren't even expecting him. You watch as he flings himself onto your neatly made bed like he hasn't felt a bed in years.

"Ugh, yes." He moans as he belly flops onto your bed and stays in that position.

"When's your next class, you little baby?"

"In like an hour or so, I don't know." He says sleepily. "Wake me up, please?"

"Sure." You realize it's Wednesday, and he definitely has Ecology lab later at 3:00PM. You figured you'd wake him up by 2:30 just to give him enough time to groggily walk his ass back over to the science building.

You and Jungkook weren't really close before college. It was moreso that you knew of each other since high school because of mutual friends. You'd see him at parties and he'd see you, but it was never more than the casual hi and bye and small talk. Maybe the occasional comments on facebook pages and the likes on pictures on instagram. But foreel, other than that, that's as real as your friendship got for awhile. You didn't mind it though, you were good with your set of friends and he was good with his. A lot of your friends attended the same university as you two and then your groups intertwined even more.

But, it wasn't until the past couple of months or so where you both unexpectedly got really close - simply just by talking more and being around each other more. You both had similar interests and Jungkook wasn't the most vocal in his group, but with you, he seemed to talk endlessly. He loved comics and he loved raving to you about Marvel and DC superheroes. He loved to draw, and he'd draw you things every now and then - his most recent being you as a scientist superhero saving the world from overgrown malaria-infected mosquito monsters. It was the cutest thing you had ever seen, and you tacked it against your cork board near your desk. Then, small things like that turned to bringing you food or boba, being stuck at the hip where he'd only go to a certain place on campus if you were there; texting each other inside jokes and funny ass tweets all day turned to facetime sleepover calls and then late hangouts eventually turned to actual sleepovers in your bed, where he'd drape his arm around while you both slept but it never escalated into anything more than that in bed. Although he did fucking hate your medium-sized Olaf plushie that took shelter on your bed - he'd always hike it across the room and talk about how annoying he is and how he's always taking his spot. You never understood it, really.

And then soon, it turned to small displays of affection behind closed doors, where Jungkook would hold you close. Hold your hand if you two were in the room watching a show, or movie. Small kisses exchanged. Big kisses exchanged, making out sessions. But, that was literally it. Nothing else. No sex. No pressure. Lots of unspoken feelings, obviously, but you weren't gonna be the one to bring that up. Because you were comfortable, and if anything, you didn't wanna ruin what you guys already had going.

Like, is this a friends with benefits thing? Maybe? Maybe not? It was hard to label it because it's not like you both determined so, it kind of just fell together that way. And there was really no pressure to fuck every single time you got affectionate. It was cute, sweet. And no one really knew it was like that behind doors - possibly your suitemate Kass and her boyfriend, Jimin, but that's only because you shared the dorm suite with her. Jimin was also one of Jungkook's roommates and his really good friend, so whenever they had slept over on the same night, it was pure and utter chaos. But honestly, if Kass and Jimin hadn't been around you two much, they most certainly wouldn't have the idea.

Whatever it was, it was a comfortable closeness that you both experienced and appreciated. However, the both of you were afraid of discussing what this really was, afraid it'll ruin the dynamic. The atmosphere. Having to come to terms of what it might, or might not be. Neither of you can fully admit that you like the other. Although, it got hard. People did lightly tease you two because you both always looked for each other and were stuck by the hip out on campus.

Oh, well. Bottom line is that you liked your relationship where it was at, but it doesn't mean you haven't thought about the what if's. Jungkook was insanely attractive, and it's no lie that girls swarmed him left and right on campus, but he didn't give a shit [either he didn't give a shit or he was dumb as hell?]. Okay, rewind — to be fair, he would have a fling or two, flirt once or twice. He'd tell you so and so was cute and that they've hung out or texted, but that's it. He just wasn't necessarily looking for anything cause he too enjoyed where he was at with everything.

It doesn't take long before Sleeping Beauty is snoring face down on your bed, looking like Patrick Star with the way he's sprawled out. But, you continue to do your work until it was time to wake him. You gently shake him, his puppy eyes looking back at you after being face down all nap.

"Class time."

"No." He groans. "Can't I just stay here with you?"

"No, dude. Get to class." You chuckle. "You already skipped last week."

"Yeah, but this is a new week Y/N."

"Jungkook." You almost say in a scolding manner.

"Fiiiiiiine." He whines as he shoots up and hops off from your bed. "Are you going to our party on Friday?"

"I said I'd think about it right?"

"Yeah, like on Monday. It's Wednesday."

"And I'm still thinking about it." You snort, making him pout.

"Just come for a little bit."

"Why? You know parties aren't my thing and you'll be too drunk anyways. I'll end up wanting to go right the fuck back home as soon as I step outside."

"I'd like to be drunk and have you there. It'll be more fun!" He pouts as he holds your hand and swings it back and forth.

"I mean, to be completely honest, I'll probably end up going because of Kass anyways."

"Because of Kass." He rolls his eyes. "Oooookay. Not because of you, Jungkook, no." He says sarcastically, brows furrowed.

"Ew. You're such a fucking whiner. Leave." You laugh, throwing an empty water bottle at him.

"I'm kidding." He chuckles. "Wanna grab dinner with me after practice?"

"Sure. If you pay." He groans

"Fine. I'll see you later." He puckers up his lips to blow you a kiss, which you automatically reject by giving him a look before turning your attention back to your homework. You were hoping he'd offer to go to In-n-Out because you were craving that #2 with animal fries and a neapolitan shake, plus there was a Target in the same plaza that you wanted to drag him to for new pens and clearance sale shopping. And you wouldn't even warn him about it. He would tag along, no question.

Hoseok stands in front of the mirrors in the studio, pacing back and forth as your dance group learned a couple of 8-counts from this new piece he had been brewing up. Apparently, it was supposed to be a couples piece but he wasn't sure if he was going to keep it that way. He watched to see if this would be better as a group, or if he should stick to his original plans.

Your college dance group was a small group formed by people with pure, genuine interest and love for modern hip hop choreography. Hoseok was the dance lead, with Jimin being the back up lead. The group came together, taught each other pieces, taught workshops for those interested on campus and performed at the various talent shows and productions the school had throughout the year. It was just your group's way of showcasing your talents, something you all purely enjoyed, and it was nice to see the love and support given by the audiences.

"Okay, run that from the top one more time please. We'll take break after, swear." Hoseok chuckles and gives Jimin the cue to start the song back at the starting point. Jungkook makes a funny face at you as he huffs and puffs, trying to catch his breath from the last time you went through the counts.

"Ew." You giggle, slightly pushing him aside. Miguel's How Many Drinks begins to blast through the studio speakers, Jungkook doing his best to sing along and match his tone all while focusing on his steps. Once you're done going through the counts, the music continues to play, Jungkook twirling over to you just to sing—

"Cause I ain't leavin' aloneeee, I feel like I could be honest, babe." He spins to your other side. "We both know that we're grown, that's why I wanna knooooow - how many drinks will it take you to leave with meeeeEEeeeE?"

"You can give me all the drinks in the world and I swear I still wouldn't." You snort, making him frown and click his teeth.

"Too bad that's not really how you act when I ask to sleep over, though." Silence as you stick your tongue out at him. Cause, yeah. You really do tell him to sleep over without hesitation. You loved his company, you can’t lie. "Yeah, fraudulent as hell. I never taught you that." He jokes.

"Shut up, Jungkook—"

"Okay!" Hoseok says, clapping his hands. "This'll be a couple piece. I honestly think it'll work better that way, just like I envisioned it. I'll work with the couple to clean this up before the performance, but to whoever isn't casted for this, Jimin still has a piece to teach the rest of you, so don't feel discouraged!" Hoseok chuckles a bit, giving the rest of the group a small smile. "So with that being said - Y/N, Jungkook, I want you two to do this piece."

"Ouuuuuuuu." Jimin teases you from the sidelines, causing you to put up your middle finger.

"We won’t let you down, cap." Jungkook swings his arm around you.

"I'll teach you the rest of the piece next practice so we can start polishing it up and making it clean before the talent show."

"Sounds good with me." You flatly say, even though 100%, you're pretty excited for many reasons. One, you had been wanting to do a solo or couples piece for awhile, and two, your partner was Jungkook. Your best friend, your ride or die, the dude you've spent so much time with and gave your affection to behind closed doors. It made you giddy just thinking about it, even if you'd blatantly lie to his face later on when he'd tease you. And Jungkook felt the same. You missed the way he subtly bit on his bottom lip when you were named his partner, just so he wouldn't smile too big in front of you.

After practice, you egg him on enough to agree to take you to In-N-Out, without hinting at the plan you had drafted out in your head earlier. The plan that says you're gonna drag his ass to Target afterwards and he had no choice but to come along.

"Y/N, you liar." He groans. "You said you weren't gonna go to Target." He pouts as you follows behind you anyway.

"Kook, I literally just need to get one thing."

"What's the one thing that you couldn't get on your own time?"

"I don't know, I'll have to find out when we get in there." You giggled, causing him to groan again. "Plus, we're here already. Killing two birds with one stone."

"Ah shit, I suppose I can get some bottles for the party."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook."

"Yeah, make yourself useful Jungkook, aheh." He mocks your tone and does that really weird and ugly ass laugh that dudes always do when they try to mock girls, however, you ignore it because you've just stepped into Target and bitch, this was Disneyland to you. Heaven. Paradise.

"Hm, what are we drinking on Friday?" He says his text outloud as he follows you around the dollar section where you begin to pick up really unnecessary items that you're probably just gonna store away in or around your desk somewhere.

"Should be holy water because you all need it."

"Mmm, I don't know, I don't think they have that but we can check." He responds ever so seriously, causing you to chuckle.

"How many people are you expecting?"

"Honestly, I don't even know. We said we'd keep it to close friends only. I don't really have any friends, so that's all on them."

"Ah, makes sense as to how the entire class was invited." You fire back sarcastically. "Your upstairs neighbors are really gonna have a blast."

"They're invited too."

"You guys are so dumb." He laughs when you hit him against the chest. After walking a bit, the two of you head towards the alcohol aisle, Jungkook grabbing what his arms will allow him to grab since alcohol is a little cheaper here than other grocery stores. "Isn't there a limit as to how much alcohol you can buy?"

"I don't see anything anywhere." He hauls about 4 big bottles back to the cashiers. "Besides, I'm giving them business compared to Safeway and those other grocery stores."

"Grab the coupon at least, genuis. It could save you some money." You take off the coupons from the three bottles.

He looks down at the coupon attached to the 4th bottle. "Sign up today and get 2% cash back on every bottle you buy." He snorts after reading the coupon outloud. "More like sign up today and get 2% cash back turnt." He looks at you. "This doesn't sound like a coupon, miss. Where's the ‘get 5 dollars off’ bullshit?"

"2% cash back turnt? Really?" You furrow your brows at him and hand the coupons to the cashier. "Here. God, maybe you shouldn't be hosting parties with your roommates."

"Maybe not." He holds his bags, even grabbing onto yours as you both walk out to his car. He turns up the radio, the both of you singing along to the songs coming through. When he pulls up to the lot of Edgehill Village, he parks in someone else's marked spot only because it's technically next to your door and he doesn't anticipate to stay long. But honestly, that never goes as planned. He grabs your bag from the trunk, silently following behind you as you unlock your door to an empty suite - just as you expected. Kass was most likely at Jungkook’s, spending the night with Jimin, and you'd be alone for the night. It didn't matter to you though, the peace and quiet was always nice.

"You sure you're gonna be okay here alone?" You nod.

"Yup. It's kind of nice actually." You lean forward onto your bed since it's raised a little higher than usual with bed risers, and open up your laptop. Jungkook sets your Target bag down and wraps his arms around you from behind, planting a kiss on your cheek and on your jawline.

"You sure you don't want me to sleep over? Cuddles sound nice."

"It sounds like you want to."

"Only if you want me to." He nuzzles his head against your neck, waiting for your response.

"Kook, please." You chuckle. "If you wanna sleepover, then go ahead."

"Yesssss! I do."

"Well you need to find parking, or else the person that owns that parking spot will be highly upset."

"You got it, captain. Pull up a movie!" He says, dashing out of your room to move his car. He's most likely going to come back in another 5 minutes, being that the only free parking at this time of night is probably on the other end in the gym's lot, or somewhere on the streets [if he got lucky].

And so that 5 minutes sure does go by before Jungkook is breathing heavily when he walks into your room, duffle bag swung over his shoulder with a big, dorky ass smile on his face.

"I'm back!"

"I see." You snort, still going through the movies.

"Hey, let's run through what Hobi taught us first."

"Ugh, I'm so tired though."

"Cooooome on, just once." He pulls you by the hand, his body pressed against yours as his his other arm wraps around your waist. "Please." His puppy dog eyes look down at you, causing you to push him away because fucking hell, that shit makes you weak. Makes the pussy throb just a lil, you know? Christ.

"Only if you watch 10 Things I Hate About You."

"Sure, I don't mind." He pulls up the song on your laptop. The both of you face the mirror in front of you, careful not to hit each other since you had such limited space to fully move around. Running through it once was a full blown lie, being that you both are doing it for almost 5-6 times before you're laughing at how out of breath you already are. You're so out of it and winded by the last time around that you accidentally hit Jungkook in the face, causing him to whine and stumble off to the side.

"Oh shit!" You laugh. "I'm so sorry, Kookie!" You run over to cup his face. "Are you okay? You good?"

"Shit, Y/N. You have a heavy hand." He keeps his hand against his cheek.

"I'm sorry." You lean in to plant a kiss on his cheek, but Jungkook being Jungkook, he looks to the side to have his lips meet yours instead. He picks you up in one swift motion, your legs wrapped around his torso as he sits you on your bed, your hands still cupping his face. And honestly, you really wanted him. You've always wanted him since this whole thing started. God, he was attractive to you - every little thing about Jungkook was a fucking weakness, but you weren't gonna let up first. Not tonight. The scar on his cheek, his soft, fluffy hair, his toned body, his muscular ass arms, the way he held onto you when you both slept, the way he kissed you.

Lord, he was truly going to be the death of you.

Before the kiss could get any deeper, you smile into it and back away, keeping your gaze on the small, dazed smile Jungkook has on his face.

"Can we watch now?" You ask, subtly biting onto your bottom lip.

"Yeah, good idea."

"Actually, after all that, I need to shower first."

"Can I join?" His eyes light up.

"Sit your ass down. You can go after." You laugh as you hop off the bed, grabbing your pajamas for a quick shower. You literally take 10 minutes, walking back into your room with wet hair and an oversized shirt and shorts underneath. Although you had been completely comfortable with Jungkook, the both of you have never really seen each other fully naked like that. Whenever he slept over, you were both always fully clothed. You've seen him hop out of the shower and come in shirtless, but that's probably about it. You start to brush your teeth as he rummages through his emergency duffle bag full of shit that he holds in the trunk of his car, grabbing a fresh pair of clothes to change into after his shower. You already know his ass is gonna use your shampoo for everything because he loves the smell of it and always talks about how good your hair smells.

While waiting for him, you slip yourself under your covers and pull the laptop closer to you, scrolling through your phone aimlessly to see what's new on instagram. Which, is absolutely nothing, so you let out a dissatisfied sigh.

"Ready!" He comes in, tossing his towel aside and shutting off the lights to crawl into your bed with you.

"You smell just like me." You chuckle.

"It's great, isn't it?"

"Your hair isn't bothering you?" You run your hand through his incredibly wet hair as he shakes his head.

"No, I'll be good."

"Okay." He wraps his arm around you to pull you onto his body, the movie already off to a start. As the movie goes on, you find yourself getting sleep as both of your bodies sink deeper into the sheets, Jungkook still not letting you go. The laptop rests on his belly, while your head is on his chest, his heartbeat the one thing putting you to sleep pretty quickly. He's comfortable, just as you are. He's warm, you're warm. He's content, you're content. You drift off to sleep while he continues to watch, knowing your bodies will be pressed tightly against each other in the morning.

"Kook there's so many fucking people here. The cops are gonna come and shut this down quick." Jungkook shrugs.

"Oh well, wasn't my idea." He snorts. "Shot?!" He hands you a shot that you take with ease, feeling like you aren't drunk enough for all this shit and all these people. "Atta girl."

"Yuck, though." You slightly make a sour face as you feel the warmth trickle down your throat and into your stomach.

"Heeeey, whyyyyy do you look so FaMiliaR?" This girl asks Jungkook in a weird, flirty tone, where every other consonant goes up and down. She's obviously really fucking drunk and out of her mind because for one, she definitely goes to the same school as you two, and she has definitely been in class with Jungkook before.

"Oh uh, my name's Justin Bieber. I used to sing from time to time." He says nonchalantly with you furrowing your forehead at him because what kind of response did he just give her?! What did he just tell her? You're so embarrassed that you slowly turn on your heel and walk out of the kitchen as you hear him sing One Less Lonely Girl hella out of tune, with the girl completely smitten over his drunk ass.

"Where's Jungkookie?" Kass asks as she sits on Jimin's lap.

"Over there, pretending to be Justin Bieber apparently."

"Oh, nice. You don't come across that often." Jimin says sarcastically. "Are you staying here tonight?"

"Yeah, stay here tonight, with Kookie." Kass wiggles her eyebrows, her cheek resting on top of Jimin's head. "It's not like that's anything new."

"Um, I'd rather much be back in the dorm."

"That cold, lonely place? When you could be here, in such a pretty apartment with such a pretty boy?" You shake your head at her.

"Unbelievable." You mutter. Suddenly, an incredibly tall man walks into the apartment, reaching about 6'1 and almost hitting the ceiling with his tall ass. You've never seen him before, but he walks in with Hoseok and Namjoon and for whatever reason, you can't peel your eyes off of him. "Woah, who's that?"

"Who's what?" Jungkook finally comes to your side after being Justin Bieber for a good minute or so, his eyes following yours. Who was he and why were you looking at him so intensely?

"That's Kang! You've never met him?" Jimin says, doing a slight nod to greet him as he passes by. Kang and his fine self looks up at you, a small smirk creeping up at the corner of his lips as he continues through to the kitchen behind Hoseok and Namjoon. "He's a transfer and on the basketball team."

"He's fiiiiine." You and Kass swoon over him a bit, Jungkook giving you a look.

"He's alriiiight. I've seen better."

"Shut up, no one asked you." You lightly punch him on the side, making him lightly groan while Jimin and Kass laugh. The rest of the party, you suddenly have a goal to find out more about Kang and see what he's about because you and Jungkook weren't official. You both didn't really know what this was, but one thing you knew for sure was that it wasn't anything exclusive. You wouldn't bring it up, so wouldn't Jungkook - so was this really something all that meaningful?

Whatever, you didn't wanna keep going in circles about it.

Jungkook fucking hates it though, and he's honestly really jealous that you're suddenly trying to be all cute and woo the new, tall, handsome [but he's not really that fucking handsome to Jungkook for christ's sake] basketball player. Jungkook almost wants to mock his every move and how suavé he is, almost looking like a try hard with the way he's leaning against the wall and talking to you.

Wait— he's talking to you?! You were literally right next to him 2 seconds ago.

"What the fuck?" He squints, trying to make sure he's actually looking at you.

"You're so full of shit." Jimin laughs.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why don't you just admit that you like her and stop being childish about it?"

"I don't like her. She's just my bestfriend."

"Um, okay?" Jimin snorts. "When you sleep at her place every chance you get and vice versa? When she has a ton of your shirts and hoodies in her own fucking closet? When you always get so affectionate with her in the dorm? Sure, you don't like her."

"How do you know that?"

"I just do, you've done it in front of me and Kass before but you both tried playing it off. I don't understand you two."

"Well, I don't like her. She obviously doesn't either with the way she's trying to be all up on him." Jungkook glares at you, his teeth biting the rim of the cup harshly as he brings it to his lips to take a sip.

"Whatever, I'm just saying dude. Probably better to be straight up about it than not."

"Kaaaaaaay." Jungkook responds sarcastically, trying to play off how butthurt he was right now. Cause yeah, he did fucking like you. He was just scared to admit it though because of reasons like this - the fact that you possibly didn't like him back killed him. The fact that you could possibly be using him to feel wanted, needed. It made his stomach turn.

He just really liked you, and god, did he want to be the one in your bed tonight. Whether or not that ended up in sex, whatever. He just wanted to be the one to touch you, be on you.

Meanwhile, Kang was attractive as hell and ouwee, were you feeling him tonight. You were, you really were - except, you could literally feel the holes Jungkook was burning through you from across the room. You'd occasionally glance over due to how distracting it was, Jungkook literally have no shame with eyeing you, almost glaring at you, from across the apartment.

"Is it too forward if I ask for your number already?" Kang licks his lips, his teeth lightly piercing his bottom lip as he looks down at you.

"No." You smirk at him, taking his phone to put your number in.

"We should kick it soon. I'd love to hang out with you and get to know you better."

"Yeah, just let me know when." You blush, until you're suddenly pulled out of your daze by a loud 'ahem,' the loudest throat-clearing you have ever heard in your life. You turn to see Jungkook making his way back over to the shots, knowing damn well he's calling you over. "See you around?" Kang winks before he tips his cup to you and gives you a single nod.

"Sure thing, cutiepie." You bite onto your bottom lip, making your way over to Jungkook at the shot station, instantly pinching his arm.

"What the fuck?"

"Nobody was calling you over." Jungkook smirks.

"Shut the fuck up, yes you were. I know that was you clearing your throat like that."

"I'm sorry, does it bother you?" He blinks cutely, tilting his head to the side. "Besides, why come over here when you're too busy with your man?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Why in the hell would I be jealous, Y/N? Do you." The words sting you, even though part of you still wants to believe that Jungkook may actually like you. All you can do is sigh and brush it off, placing your cup down in front of him as he pours himself another shot. "You sure?"

"Just give me the damn shot." You say, making it your 7th.

And the 7th turns into 8, 8 turns into 9, 9 turns into 10. And at 10, you're pretty fucking drunk even as the party is starting to die down by the time it's close to 2am. All 10 were a good combination of shots and mixed drinks.

10 drinks.

10 drinks is what it took for you to lay in Jungkook's bed at the end of the night, hands tangled in his fluffy hair as your makeout session intensifies by the minute - all due to this sexual tension, frustration, whatever the hell it was brewing between you two after all this time. The both of you are drunk as hell, and it's pretty evident with the way you can still taste the alcohol on his tongue, both sloppily touching up on each other, kisses getting wetter, clothes coming off like there's no tomorrow.

"Wait, are you sure?" Jungkook says, about to unhook your bra.

"Jungkook, god, just fuck me." You plead drunkily, the room spinning around you. He continues to unhook your bra, tossing it across the room where your other clothes lay, peppering kisses along your neck before licking up a stripe to meet your lips again. He hooks his fingers across the band of your panties, tugging them down and letting them get lost within his sheets. You take this as leverage to tug his boxer briefs down, already stroking his hardened member the moment you come into contact with it. The sad thing is that you both are so fucking drunk, you can't even appreciate the fact that you both are naked in front of each other for the first time ever.

You can't even come to terms with the fact that you both are about to fuck each other and cross that boundary completely.

But, hell, what do you care? You were drunk. You got a cute guy's number. You're getting dick at the end of the night.

"Oh shit, Y/N." He moans into your mouth as he feels you stroking him. "Need to feel you." He quickly runs his finger down your fold, slipping in two digits to pump them in and out, quickly prepping you for his dick.

"Hnnng--Kook." You bite onto your bottom lip as your eyes shut close momentarily, your head digging deeper into the pillow the more he tries to stretch you out. "Want you inside of me."

"I got you." He says. You almost whine at the loss of contact until you feel his tip poking at your entrance. He slowly continues to slip himself inside of you, Kook letting out a small groan while your mouth was left open, a soundless moan releasing before you hiss and take in all of him. He fills you up so well, so completely. He was so big that you felt full, bloated, with him being inside of you the way he was.

"Ohhhhhgod." You whimper as he starts to steady his pace, the lewd noises of his cock slipping in and out of your wet pussy filling his room - god forbid if Jimin or their other roommate Yoongi heard this right now. It would be nothing short of pornographic.

"You're so wet. Is that all for me?" He says, causing your eyes to roll to the back of your head as he begins to aggressively thrust into you.

"Y-yes." You whine.

"Say it again."

"All for you, Kook."

"I fucking thought so." He drunkily responds as one hand grips onto your hips tightly, the other in your hair as he digs his head back into the crook of your neck, his tongue messily licking near your jaw before he nibbles onto your earlobe.

"Hmmmmgggh, Jungkook. Fuck." You moan as you start to work your hips upward into his, your clit rubbing against his pelvis, causing the pleasure to pool quickly within the pit of your stomach. It causes goosebumps to pierce through the surface of your skin, your hands gripping tighter on his hair. "You're-you're gonna make me cum. Faster." You plead. He does just so, hammering into you, the sound of his hips slamming into yours bouncing off of the walls.

"Ahhh—Y/N." He groans.

"Just like that, just like that, just like that!" You repeat, your clit feeling incredibly stimulated by the way it rubs against his skin while he fucks into you. "Oh shit! Jungkook!" You moan loudly, biting his shoulder as you feel yourself trembling hard in his grip, your orgasm taking over your entire body.

"Shit, shit, shit—Y/N, Shiiiit." He says into your neck, followed by more curses and groans as you feel him coat your walls warmly. He stays inside of you until the both of you come back down to normalcy, your breathing becoming more regulated. He slowly slips himself out, plopping next to you on the bed, but doesn't welcome you into his arms.

The night goes on, the both of you sleeping on your own sides of Jungkook's bed, not really saying a word to each other. Because the both of you, although still pretty drunk, are more aware by the time it's over and it's become so clear how fucked up this got.

You were hurt. Completely hurt. Because you didn't expect Jungkook to just fucking ghost you after that night. You wanted to talk about it, maybe come to the conclusion that you two should just distance yourselves from each other to figure this out, even if it would hurt you a lot to do so.

No.

That morning, Jimin and Kass had to take you back to campus because Jungkook had darted out of his room, nowhere to be seen until later that night. The next week or so, there were no texts, no calls. No visiting your dorm, no asking to sleepover.

Nothing.

Just radio silence, white noise, if you will.

The one thing he could come up with was a stupid response to your text when you finally caved and asked what you did wrong mid-week.

Something along the lines of 'what do you want me to say, Y/N? do you want me to force myself to feel a certain way?'

Followed by a 'i'm sorry, fuck. that came out really wrong' even though you thought it came out perfectly fine. You understood loud and clear.

Even though this wasn't really an exclusive thing, or even a 'thing' if we wanna be straight up, you still couldn't help but feel like Jungkook had just dumped your ass with no explanation and you were still waiting for that explanation to come, whether it would or not. And because of this, you started to see Kang, hangout with him more often. He even took you out on a dinner date and you really enjoyed his company. He seemed genuine, caring, supportive - even if a lot of the basketball boys were the complete opposite. He was different, you liked to think.

And so you stand in front of the mirrors in the dance studio, you and Jungkook awkwardly running through the piece with Hoseok watching, confused as to why all of a sudden the two of you have this weird tension going on. It hasn't entirely ruined the couple piece, but it hasn't brought it together, either. The both of you could barely look at each other, barely get into the movements, the emotions behind the motions. Hoseok had to correct a few things, his 'pah pah pah's' echoing in the room constantly with how many times you and Jungkook had to be set straight for your sloppy steps today.

"Okay, I'm not saying it's bad, cause it's not. But can you both please act like you at least like each other or something? What's going on with you two? You aren't normally like this." Hoseok says, coming down to a crouch in front of the mirrors.

"Nothing, we'll do better. Don't worry." You brush off the entire question with your quick response. Jungkook looks at you, his hands on his hips, lightly frowning at how much you're distancing yourself even though he knows its entirely his fault for running from his feelings and not being honest with you.

"Okay, let's do it from the top." The music starts, you getting into the piece without making any eye contact with Jungkook. Even the steps that cause you to be close and near Jungkook, you look anywhere but his eyes, and your touch is light, trying your hardest not to let any feelings pass through the motion. Hoseok is a little more pleased this time around, but it still doesn't sit right with him, so he lets you two take a break while he heads to the other studio to check on Jimin and the rest of the group.

"Hey. Are you okay?"

"Jungkook, you don't get to ask me that." He sighs and runs his hand through his hair, not sure if he should continue on or not.

"Y/N—"

"Save it, and let's just get this over with, okay? I don't wanna be here just as much as you." Your words cut him deep because dear, you have gotten him completely misunderstood and yet, he still can't speak. He still can't talk about his feelings. He still can't save this even though he wants to, even though he loathes seeing you the way you are with Kang.

"I never said—"

"Kay, ready? Let's run this full out and make it a good one so we can call it for today." Hoseok says, clapping his hands to hype you two up somehow. The music starts and you're finally able to get into the steps. The emotions. And god, it's only because you're so hurt by your own bestfriend. You're hurt that he fucked you so good, and then dipped. You're hurt that he couldn't even face you the day after. You're hurt that after all this time, he made it seem like you still didn't matter enough - at least enough for an explanation, for some kind of reasoning, conversation, behind what just went down between the both of you. Between what has been going down between the both of you.

Besides the stupid ass responses he gave you through text.

You get so into your feelings that you don't even realize you're tearing up by the time the piece is over, and Jungkook catches it even though you face away from him as soon as the music cuts out.

"Nice, okay! That was so much better! Let's pick it up next session, yeah? We'll keep cleaning it up. Thanks guys!" Hoseok says. You immediately head towards the wall, grabbing your things to avoid any confrontation from Jungkook, but he grabs your arm as soon as you slip through the door.

"Y/N, wait. Stop."

"Let me go." You yank your arm from his grip.

"Why are you crying?" He stops in front of you, his hands placed on your arms to prevent you from moving any further.

"I'm not." You blatantly lie while you aggressively wipe away the stragglers coming down.

"Really? Just gonna lie like that?"

"Why do you care? You haven't said shit to me all week." You snap back, and Jungkook is taken aback from the tone in your voice. You remove his hands from your arms, and take one last look at him before shaking your head and walking off.

Next mistake? He doesn't come after you.

This was a waste of fucking time. If he truly cared about you, he wouldn't let you hurt like this.

You let out a deep sigh before clutching onto your things and walking back to your dorm. The walk from the gym/fitness center was damn near on the other end of campus compared to your dorm. It would be a good 10 minute walk if you really took your time. A good 10 minutes to ponder on your thoughts.

Yes, you liked Jungkook. You really liked him. Having sex with him solidified those feelings even more. How could you not have feelings for your bestfriend after all the moments you've shared? Was it your fault for assuming that? Was it your fault for walking through that door when it seemed to be completely open for you?

"Sup." Kang comes out of nowhere, pulling you out of your thoughts. He swings his arm around your shoulder, gently pulling you closer to his body. "Just got out of practice?"

"Sure did." You give him a toothless smile. Yes, he was attractive as hell. He always will be. But, even with the time you spent together, the date he took you on, he still couldn't make you feel the way Jungkook has been able to make you feel.

"How was it?"

"Um, it was alright. Nothing new really, just cleaning up the piece before the show. You're going right?"

"Why wouldn't I?" He smiles down at you. "Listen, I don't know if you've heard, but there's another party tonight."

"A party? It's Wednesday." You snort.

"Yeah, I mean, one of the boys on the Lacrosse team is throwing it at his family house because his parents will be gone. Wanna come? I'll pick you up. We don't have to stay for long." You looked at your watch.

"What time is it at?"

"Like 9ish?" Enough time for you to shower and get a quick dinner in your belly. Why the hell not? You were caught up for the week. You didn't have any pressing assignments that were due asap.

"Sure. I'll come."

"Cool. See you later then?" He says, about to part ways with you. You simply give him a nod before walking deeper into Edgehill village. You hoped you wouldn't regret this tonight, and you really hoped he meant it when he said you two didn't have to stay for long. You drag yourself into your room, seeing Kass' door wide open, revealing her packing up her duffle bag.

"Hey, where are you headed during the middle of the week?"

"My two classes got cancelled for tomorrow so me and Jiminie are heading out for a mini getaway for our anniversary." You cross your arms and smile. "He's just gonna catch up on shit when we get back I guess." She laughs.

"That sounds cute. I hope you have loads of fun this weekend, babe."

"What are you gonna do?" Kass and Jimin were obviously aware of everything happening between you and Jungkook being that they had to be the ones to take you home. They never pressed on it though, knowing you both were still pretty upset about how things were playing out. They figured you two would eventually work it out, but until then, they would just sit back and keep their mouths shut. You two were being completely stubborn, but it wasn't their relationship to fix.

"Well, there's this party Kang wants to take me to tonight."

"The Lacrosse party? Messy." She laughs. "Be careful, but also have fun, yeah? I still don’t know if I trust him.”

"Yeah I know."

"Tell me how it goes!"

"I will." You wave her off as you head into your room and shut the door. You figured you would just grab dinner on campus to avoid spending more money than you should; after all, dinner seemed to be pretty bomb tonight. You didn't mind going alone, sometimes Namjoon would join you, asking for you to bring him a plate of food while he does the hard job of sneaking inside the cafeteria through the back door. He usually waits for you at a free table and ends up staying there to have dinner with you, updating you on how life has been, how school has been. Sometimes Hoseok would join you, too. Either way, you didn't mind if no one joined. It was nice to have dinner by yourself from time to time.

You get there on time to be able to grab some food, eat quietly and head out before the cafeteria gets way too busy for your liking. You slip into the shower and throw on a mini skirt, a crop top and a denim jacket, lightly fluffing your hair in the mirror and adding a dab of lip gloss to your lips before Kang is calling you to tell you he's outside your dorm. He's wearing something similar to your color palette, however, you don't make much out of it since this also wasn't really an exclusive thing and you sure as hell weren't going around telling people you and Kang had a thing going on.

To him, you two might be a thing. You've definitely overheard people talking about you two in passing.

To you though, you two definitely weren't. And it was a big fuck you to Jungkook for that.

The house is packed from end to end already, and you're surprised being that it has barely hit 10 minutes since the party was expected to take off. Kang is having to park down the hill, allowing you to hop onto his back for a quick piggy back ride up until you reach the front of the house. There's people already fucked up out on the lawn [you figured they fucked themselves over during their pre-game session cause that shit really happens from time to time], either laying there drunkily or yacking on a free patch of grass.

Gross.

Messy, indeed.

Some people are posted, smoking blunts and offering it to people who were passing by. You and Kang both pass up on it, the idea of not knowing where it has been not sitting right with you. You both head straight to the bottles, taking shots and downing mixed drinks to chase it with so that you can catch up with majority of the crowd. Kang has his arm around your shoulder throughout the night, keeping you close to him, even when he's getting pretty drunk. You realize he's a little more handsy than usual, a little more touchy than you expected him to be. It doesn't bother you for a minute, until he really tries to hike up your skirt while you sit on his lap. You gently shoo his hand away, playing it off while he nuzzles his head against your neck.

"Let's go upstairs, babe." He says, the pet name sounding incredibly off coming from him. Maybe you were drunk, maybe you really just weren't in the mood. It just didn't sound cute, if that even makes sense?

"Okay." You respond stupidly, not wanting to cause a scene at a lacrosse party. You intertwine your fingers with his as he leads the way up the stairs, eyeing the doors as they come into view. He leans forward towards each door, making sure it's clear before opening it. You assume he finally finds one that he's satisfied with when you catch the small smirk that grows at the corner of his lips when he turns the door knob and brings you inside. He pulls you into a deep, rough kiss, one that doesn't even allow you to breathe and process what the fuck is even going on. You can't get into it for the life of you, no matter how hard you try to back away. "Wait, wait."

"What's wrong, baby? Isn't this what you wanted?" He says, kissing down your neck as he drops his jacket to the floor. He gently pushes you onto the bed, his hands traveling up your skirt as you lay there trying to push him off.

"Wait, stop." He doesn't listen. He continues until his hands are literally hooking onto your panties, his finger swiping down your clothed folds. You try fighting him off, but he's way stronger than you. He continues to be aggressive, forcefully trying to shove your panties down until you muster up all the energy you have to finally push him off of you completely. "Stop!"

"What the fuck? I thought you wanted this?"

"Who the hell said that?"

"Are you serious? The way that you're dressed and the way that you look at me. The way you approached me at your friend's party - isn't it all because of this? Because you wanted me? Why are you backing out now?"

"Jesus, get over yourself." You stand, fixing your skirt back down. He furrows his brows at you before his hand grips your arm tightly, shoving you against the wall.

"The fuck, you can't just leave without giving me anything. I brought you here to this party."

"Let me go! You're fucking sick. No one even told you I wanted this to go down. I don't know who you think you are, but you need to get yourself together and stop assuming every pussy is yours to take." He attempts to pin you, his hand holding up both of your hands against the wall while the other tries to pull up your skirt. Someone accidentally opens the door, distracting him and giving you leverage to shove him off and get the fuck away. You dart down the steps, fixing your skirt as you head outside and away from the house.

Fuck, you're far from campus. And Kass and Jimin aren't around.

God.

You groan and run your hand through your hair as you continue to walk down the hill and into the neighborhood to get as far away as possible from that house and that gross ass dude. He was literally just like the rest of the basketball team. You've heard stories and they weren't nice. Looks like he was trained well already, and that shit was sad. What a waste. A beautiful human being with such a nasty, sick mindset. You hoped other girls hadn't fallen for his shit.

Ugh, it sends shivers down your spine. Bad shivers.

"Hello? Y/N?"

"Kook, can you come pick me up please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Of course. Where are you?"

"I'll drop my location. Please hurry." You say, looking back to make sure your coast was clear. You drop the pin into your text thread with Jungkook and sit on the curb until his arrival. It's getting pretty chilly out, and the denim jacket you're wearing fails to provide you with the warmth you're looking for. Sooner or later, Jungkook is pulling up, damn near hopping out before he can shift the gear into park.

"You okay? What happened?" He says, opening the door for you before rushing over to the driver's seat.

"Nothing, can we just go back to your place?" He nods silently, and doesn't press any further after hearing your tone. He watches from his peripherals how you fiddle with your fingers and constantly reach to pull your skirt down even though he doesn't think there's any other way you could pull it down even more. He watches as he parks the car on the curb in front of his apartment how you simply undo your seatbelt and hop out to walk straight into his apartment. He watches as you welcome yourself into his closet and pick out some clothes for you to change in.

You were hurt, and his blood boils thinking about who could've done this and what they could have possibly done.

I mean, no. He knows who did this, but the question was what exactly did he try?

He hears the shower turn on, then quickly get turned off after a good 5 minutes. You had stepped in for a quick body shower, using Jungkook's bodywash just to rid yourself of feeling gross. Feeling gross from being shoulder to shoulder all night long, people breathing down your neck. Kang touching you inappropriately. You slip into Jungkook's clothes, his scent wrapping around you entirely. When you head back into the room, Jungkook has his headset back on as he faces his computer, logging back onto his game of League of Legends. You silently toss your dirty clothes to the side of his room, making a mental note to grab it tomorrow morning and toss it straight into the laundry.

Straight into a fire, perhaps. But you loved those clothes so much, it was unfortunate it'd have such a horrible memory to go with it.

Jungkook slowly removes his headset again and removes himself from his game before he heads over and sits on the edge of his bed. You simply look at him, pursing your lips tightly together to prevent yourself from crying.

But he can tell.

"What happened Y/N?" The question triggers you, making you cry into your hands as he sits there, dumbfounded and worried at how he can fix this and make you feel better. "Look, you don't have to tell me all the details but please tell me how I can help. At least tell me if I need to beat Kang's ass." He says, pulling you into his arms.

"He tried to fucking take advantage of me." You mumble as you remove your face from your hands.

"He did what?" He manages to ask even though he has a hard time swallowing the lump that formed in his throat. He already assumed you had placed him in the same category as Kang even though he never intended to take advantage of you. He really took that night as something special [even drunk], and he never meant to make you feel like you were a used object. Not like Kang.

"He-he," You sniffed. "He tried to force me into having sex with him. He took me upstairs at that lacrosse guy's party or whoever the hell it even was, and he started to aggressively kiss me. And then he tried to force my panties down and touch me there, and—"

"Okay, please don't go on or else I'll literally go over there and tear his ass apart right now. I promise you." He says sternly, his jaw clenching tightly. "God, fuck. I'm so sorry Y/N. I can't apologize on his behalf but fuck, you didn't deserve that." He uses his sweater to wipe your tears.

"I don't even know why I'm crying, this shit isn't even worth it." You groaned. "It's just overwhelming to process, I guess."

"That's okay." He says, letting out a sigh as he brushes his hand through your hair and continues to wipe the stragglers falling from your eyes. "Anything I can get you right now?"

"No, I'm probably just gonna go to bed." He nods. "Thank you for picking me up."

"Of course. You know I'll always be there." He says. You slip yourself into his sheets, watching as he makes his way back to his desk. But fuck, the only thing you needed right now was him. You didn't want this distance anymore, and you just wanted to be comforted in true Jungkook fashion.

"Wait."

"Hm?" He hums as he has a hand placed on the head of his chair while he turns to you.

"Can you just lay with me?"

"Yeah." He says, shutting off his computer before making his way over to you in the dark. You feel him slip in next to you, his arm snaking around your shoulders so he can pull you close and onto his chest. "Better?"

"Yeah." You say, shutting your eyes as you listen to his heart beat.

"Y/N."

"Yeah?"

"I never meant to take advantage of you, or make you feel like I used you that one night." Silence. "It was dumb of me, but I just— I had trouble coming to terms with my feelings. I was scared that you wouldn't feel the same way, but I thought fuck it, at least you would know, right?"

"What are you talking about, Kook?" You ask, close to a whisper.

"I'm saying that I really fucking like you, Y/N. No, that's not right." He curses himself. "I-I uh, I'm in love with you. And I don't know if I messed this up already with the way I acted, god I hope not, but you at least deserve to know that I truly do value you and that you mean alot to me. That night, even though we were pretty plastered, it meant a lot to me. It was more than just sex and I'm sure you felt that too." He waits for your response as his fingers rake through your hair. "Please say something, anything."

"I feel the same way, Jungkook. You're an idiot for running off, but I couldn't even stay mad at you. You just know how to hit my soft spots and I can never say no to it. Can never turn my back on it." He presses a kiss against the top of your head.

"Fuck, I'm really glad to hear that cause I don't know what I would have done besides cry if you rejected me." You playfully hit his chest.

"You're annoying." You jokingly say as you chuckle.

"I'm sorry. I really am. I never wanted to hurt you."

"It's okay." You look up to press your lips against his before laying back down.

"And Kang better be fucking glad you're pressed against my body right now because I'm still looking to beat his ass."

"He's not even worth it." Is the last thing you say before you find yourself drifting into a deep sleep, in the comfort of Jungkook's arms.

"You two feeling okay? Nervous?" You and Jungkook shake your heads. "Good, you guys got this. You've been looking amazing during practice, the audience will love you two, no doubt. Just remember to show emotions through expressions and hit every beat sharply." Hoseok nods in unison with the both of you.

"Got it, thanks Hobi." You smile at him toothlessly. You and Jungkook patiently waited for your turn backstage, the talent show already off to a wild and fun start. So many students came by to showcase their talents - from beatboxing, open mic, freestyling [like Yoongi did], dancing, singing, you name it. It was always a fun time at the talent show, and it was always nice to see people getting love for the shit they loved to do.

"You're up next." Hoseok says. "I'll be in the front row. Kick ass and have fun!" He says as he rushes off towards the opposite end to head back out to his seat in the theater.

"Ready?" Jungkook holds out his hand for you to take.

"I think so." You playfully respond as the backstage crew is rushing out the previous talent and rushing you two in to take your places on stage. The lights pick up as soon as the music starts, Kang's big ass head already in full view for you. He's definitely not smiling, no, he has a look of pure disgust because he simply couldn't get what he wanted from you.

And boy, who's fault was that? Not yours, no sir. It was his fault for thinking he had it like that.

But anyways, you're feeling the music, you're feeling the piece because you're dancing with your bestfriend and there wasn't this grey area anymore. It was easier to get into the motions, to get into the feeling, especially when things felt right between the two of you.

And God, what else is more attractive than Jeon Jungkook hitting his 8 counts so smoothly, with just enough umph to make it pop but make it pop cleanly.

Yo, please. I beg. Send some help. You could literally melt on stage.

The moments where Jungkook has to be close to you, where he has to touch you - you let him, and you touch him with meaning. You don't stray away this time because you have no reason to. The crowd is cheering, lots of 'ou's' and 'aw's' erupting from various places in the theater.

"Pretty lady." Jungkook whispers in your ear as the move requires his hands to be placed on your hips for a quick moment. You hear him slightly singing along to the song as he parts from you, causing you to blush.

Sooner or later, the couple piece is over and the song is transitioning to Jimin's piece, you and Jungkook rushing off the stage so the next group can take their positions. Jimin wanted to test his limits, creating a piece a little different than his usual taste - Chris Brown's Came to Do begins blaring through the theater speakers. You immediately jump into Jungkook's arms once you both reach backstage, the both of you immensely happy and pumped that you got through the piece without messing up one step or beat. It went so smoothly that Hoseok was standing in the front row, clapping and cheering in typical Hoseok fashion. You intertwine your fingers with his, slipping through the side door to catch Jimin's piece on stage. You and Jungkook are cheering them on, always impressed by the shit your friends can come up with. You both loved dancing, but you couldn't even imagine coming up with your own pieces to teach people.

That night after the show, everyone heads to a nearby restaurant for dinner with everyone. You all take up almost an entire section of the restaurant, splitting two long tables to accommodate the entire group with doubled the waitresses to take your orders. You settle for water, splitting an abnormally huge and filled deep dish pizza with Jimin, Kass and Jungkook. It was a good day, a good night, everyone at the table happily eating and chatting it up over dinner. You turn down any drinks because to be honest, drinks lowkey make you queasy just from the thought of how much you drank at Jungkook's apartment, plus the added bonus of that party Kang took you to. Jungkook declines as well, knowing he has to drive you back safely.

Jimin and Kass head back to the apartment because Yoongi says he's gonna hang out with Joon And Hoseok for a bit, and they warn you and Jungkook that things may get loud so the both of you decide to really stick to the plan of bringing you back to the dorm. Jungkook does his usual routine of dropping you off first before finding parking around campus. You hop in the shower and come out in Jungkook's oversized crewneck that he left in your closet, forgoing the shorts because you certainly thing that at this point, he'd love to see you in his sweater and panties.

And he does. He smiles as he pulls you close, his hands traveling up your sweater, only to find out that you literally don't have shit on besides some cute little boyshorts. He feels himself hardening in his pants quick because he's incredibly attracted to you and everything about you, always has been, always will be.

"You did amazing tonight." He says, gently kissing your forehead.

"You did too, partner." He gives you a slightly shocked look.

"Is that all I am to you? Your dance partner?"

"Yeah, why? Were you expecting more?" You joke as you smile up at him.

"Yeah, I was."

"Oh?" He gently swoops you up into his arms, your legs wrapped tightly around his torso as he sits you on the bed, his hands resting on your thighs while you continued to hold him around the neck. "Care to tell me what you were expecting?"

"Well, you know, my best friend—" He presses a kiss against your lips, thumbs gently rubbing circles against your hips. "My girlfriend."

"Hm, say that again?" Your fingers are gently playing with the ends of his hair, your lips barely grazing his.

"My girlfriend." He says closed to a whisper, kissing you softly. The kiss deepens quick, Jungkook's tongue lining your bottom lip as his way of asking for permission to take it further. You gladly take it and let him in, your tongues instantly fighting for dominance. Your fingers travel up his hair, tugging ever so slightly just to let him know you want more. That you need more.

And he gets that.

His fingers hook onto the band of your boyshorts, tugging them down and letting them fall down your legs and onto the floor. He breaks the kiss momentarily, his brown, puppy dog eyes looking straight into yours.

"Hey." He says, brushing the hair out of your face.

"Hm?"

"I know I said the last time was special, and it was. It is." He corrects himself. "But, I wanna do right by you this time around. So, is it okay if I keep going? Are you comfortable?" He asks properly, since the two of you are both sober and perfectly coherent, aware of your surroundings and the fact that you'll be seeing each other fully naked in a few minutes.

"Yes." You respond. "Yes, I want you to keep going. I want you. This." He simply nods, bringing his lips back onto yours. His hands climb up your sweater and gently gives your breasts a good squeeze, earning a small moan from the both of you. His other hand begins to travel down to your pussy, two long fingers slowly probing your entrance and causing your breathing to hitch.

"You okay?" He asks lowly. You nod, biting onto your bottom lip as you tilt your head back and rest on your hands, no longer able to keep up with the kiss due to all the pleasure starting to pile up deep in your core. Jungkook starts of slow, his head now buried into the crook of your neck as he works his digits upward, tickling at the right spot.

"Ohhhh, Kook." You mewl as his tongue swipes across the surface of your neck, biting gently beneath your jaw. He begins to pick up the pace, the sounds of him finger fucking you filling up the room entirely.

"Fuck, you're so wet baby." He groans into your neck.

"I'm gonna cum." You whine, teeth almost piercing through your bottom lip in between your whimpers.

"Need to taste you." He removes his fingers and sinks down in between your thighs, gripping onto them and pulling you just a teensy bit more off the edge of the bed so he can get a good angle. The sight of his eyes looking up at you in between your legs is to die for, and the sight alone is enough to make you cum. But, you hold on, you ride out for a little longer - feeling Jungkook's tongue swipe in and out of your folds before he's sucking endlessly on your clit.

"Ahhh, fuck, wait, Jungkook!" He slightly smiles while eating you out, signaling that he's not stopping even if you beg him to. "Hnnng—shit!" You moan loudly as you feel yourself toppling over the edge, your body shaking in Jungkook's grip. You twitch every time he continues to suck gently on your sensitive nub, letting you ride out the rest of your high. He comes back up to your lips, the taste of your own cum lingering on it as you kiss him deeply.

"You taste so good." He says, back to twirling your nipples in between his fingers.

"Wanna feel you." You fiddle with his jeans, undoing his belt and sliding the rest down as much as you could. Jungkook gets out of his shirt and tosses it aside before helping get the sweater above your head. His eyes glow at the sight of your bare body in front of him, wanting to do nothing but please you and please you well.

"God, you're so perfect." He places kisses down your collarbone, to the surface of your breasts before quickly swirling his tongue around your perked buds. You moan as you tug down onto his boxer briefs, immediately stroking his hardened member while he tended to you. Jungkook was a fucking beauty himself - his soft hair, his perfectly toned body, his long 'thick in all the right places' dick.

"Please." You plead. "I want you inside of me." You whimper, causing Jungkook's breathing to hitch when you slightly tighten your grip at the base of his shaft. He gently pushes your hand aside to take over, lining himself up at your entrance. He inserts the tip, watching your eyes roll to the back of the head as he slowly sinks into you.

"Mmmmmgod." He moans. "So tight for me, baby. So fucking wet and tight." He repeats, close to a growl. Your moaning begins to pick up, matching the pace of his thrusting. You're still on the edge of the bed, Jungkook keeping you steady by gripping your thighs tightly. He marvels at the sight of your titties bouncing up and down with every thrust, hissing and shutting his eyes momentarily to keep himself grounded and to prevent himself from coming too quickly. Cause god, he can literally blow any second now.

"Jungggggkooook, yessssss!" You moan loudly, whining even at this point with how good he feels fucking into you at such a fast pace. You're feeling slightly sore already from him hammering into you, but nonetheless, it builds more pleasure for you and you want nothing but to reach your high again. "I-I'm coming!" Jungkook moans in unison with you when he feels your walls pulsating against his cock.

"Such a good girl for me." He says, slowing his pace. The creamy sounds of Jungkook's cock slipping inside and out is music to the both of your ears. He finally gains the courage to remove himself, sitting next to your spot on the edge of the bed and pulling you onto his lap. You swing a leg over, your hands resting on the nape of his neck while you sink yourself lower onto his length. Your mouth opens to let out a moan, but the best you can do is let out a hiss. It feels too fucking good that you can't even process it thoroughly. Jungkook pushes your lips down onto his by grabbing your neck, his other hand guiding the movement of your hips as you roll into him.

"Mmmggg—Jungkook." You whimper in between kisses. "You feel so fucking good, god. You're gonna make me cum again."

"Yeah, cum for me. Cum all over me. It's yours." He grunts, his hands guiding you to work him faster. Your movements are getting sloppier, and you feel your wetness starting to coat his pelvis. He doesn't give a fuck though, and neither do you. This shit feels too good for you to worry about the mess you're making on him.

"Cum with me please." He moans at the sound of you whispering into his ear.

"Faster, baby." He says, almost making you cry at how awfully close you are to unraveling. You tug onto his hair, your head buried deep into his neck as you try and suck onto the surface, trying to find an outlet, some kind of release, until you let go. You suck harshly as you coat his cock with your cum, leaving a purple mark right at the base of his neck. You continue to ride out your high, rolling your hips sloppily as Jungkook finally lets himself go, his moan bouncing off of your walls as his seed fills you up warmly.

You stay in your position, slowly raising your head to cup his cheeks and kiss him deeply once more.

"Fuck, I love you." He says slightly pulling away.

"I love you too." You giggle.

"Didn't actually need any drinks to do this now, did we?" Jungkook jokes, softly pinching your hip.

"Shut up."

"Damn, you both couldn't even at least try to be quiet?!" Jimin yells from outside the door.

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nevermindirah · 3 years ago

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Do you have any thoughts on the use of AAVE for Nile (or lack thereof) in TOG fanfiction? I've been reading some Book of Nile fic and some writers seem to write her as a Millennial™ (using words like "fave" and "woke") but never acknowledge her Blackness in her patterns of speech. I know we don't see her use as much AAVE in the films, but I would argue she's in situations where code-switching would be valued (first in a "professional" environment in the army, then around a group of non-Black strangers).

Hi anon! I have many thoughts on this and I'm honored you asked me! But I should start by saying I'm white and any thoughts Black fans and especially Black American fans have on this that they want to share would be beyond lovely. (I'm not gonna tag anybody bc that feels rude but please add onto this post if any of y'all see this and want to!)

The main reason I personally avoid AAVE for Nile in my own fics is because I'm not Black. But Nile-centric fics by Black writers tend to avoid using much of it too, at least from what I've noticed/understood, and my guess is it's largely for the reason you mention, that she's in situations that encourage code-switching.

In movie canon Nile is highly competent at tailoring her language to each situation she finds herself in. This fantastic linguistics analysis meta shows how skillfully Nile chooses her vocabulary and grammar to meet her goals with different conversation partners in different contexts. In comics canon Nile had a bunch of different civilian jobs before joining the Marines, so she would've had experience code-switching in the ways that made sense for all those different contexts as well as the Marines and her family and high school and wherever else she spent her time before we met her. And now she's spending her time with a handful of immortals none of whom are native English speakers and a fellow Black American but one with a Queen's English UK accent whose professional experience is in the CIA where high-status code-switching is often an absolute must for success or even survival.

Fics featuring Nile are charged with extrapolating from that to how it might show up in her use of language that she's coping with a traumatic separation from her family and her career and pretty much everything she's ever known and now she needs to be able to make herself understood to people who seem to care about her and each other but are super duper in crisis, three (soon to be four) of whom predate Modern English entirely and the only one who's anywhere near her contemporary she's not supposed to talk to for a century. All of these people are telling her that pretty much any contact with any mortals poses an existential threat to her and the rest of the group. How the FUCK is she supposed to cope with that, like, generally? And would it be a more effective way for her to cope if she talked to Andy Joe and Nicky using the speech patterns that she used to use with her mom and brother, to at least retain that part of her identity even if it means having to do a lot of explaining, or would it meet her needs better to prioritize Andy Joe and Nicky understanding what she means with her words over using the particular words and grammar forms she used with her family?

I've seen several fics, both Nile-centric / BoN and otherwise, explore this a little bit in how/whether Nile uses Millennial™ speak. It's often a theme in Nile texting Booker despite the exile because of the popular headcanon that he as The Tech Guy is the only other immortal who understands memes. But Nile's much-younger-than-Booker mom probably uses Boomer and/or Gen X memes and Andy has been adapting to new communication styles for forever as evidenced by her canon high level of fluency with standard-American-accented English.

Which brings us back to people avoiding AAVE because they're not Black and they don't want to make mistakes (or they're not Black and they don't want to get yelled at for making mistakes, though I think many people overestimate how much they'll get yelled at while underestimating how much these mistakes can hurt). I can imagine some Black fans hold back from using much AAVE in fic because they don't want to share in-group stuff with white people who are likely to then adopt and ruin it, as white people so often do with Black cultural stuff. Some links about this including a great Khadija Mbowe video. I'm saying this gently, anon, because you might not know: woke, an example you cited as Millennial™ speak, is AAVE, and that's gotten erased by so many white people appropriating it and using it incorrectly online.

And also there's the part where fandom is a hobby and you never know when you're reading a fic that's the very first thing someone's ever written outside of a school assignment. This cultural considerations of language shit takes a level of effort and skill that not everybody puts into every fic, or even could if they wanted to because they haven't had time to build their skills yet. It's definitely easier for non-Black fans to project our millennial feels onto Nile than to do the layers of research and self-reflection it requires to depict what Blackness might mean to Nile, and it's not surprising that often people sharing their hobby creations on the internet have gone the easier route. There's not even necessarily shame in doing what's easier. It's just frustrating and often hurtful when structural white supremacy means that 3-dimensional Black characters are rare in media and thoughtful explorations of them in fandom are seen by the majority of fans as not-easy to make and therefore Nile Freeman, the main character in The Old Guard (2020) dir. Gina Prince-Bythewood, has the least fic and meta and art made about her of our 5 main immortals.

I've been active in different fandoms off and on for twenty years and I barely managed to write 5,000 words about Sam Wilson across multiple different fics in the 7 years since I fell in love with him. There's an alchemy to which characters we connect with, and on top of that which characters we connect with in a way that causes us to create stuff about them. Something about Nile Freeman finally tipped me over the edge from a voracious reader to a voracious writer. It's not for me to judge which characters speak to other individuals to the level of creating content about them, but I do think it's important for us to notice, and then work to fight, the pattern where across this fandom as a whole Nile gets way less content, and way less depth in so much of the content that's in theory about her, than any of these other characters.

Anyway, back to language. My two long fics feature Nile with several Black friends — Copley and OCs and cameos from other media — but all of those characters except Alec Hardison from Leverage aren't American. It's very possible I'm guilty of stereotyping Black British speech patterns in I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore. I watched hours and hours of Black haircare YouTube videos in the research for that fic and I modeled my OCs' speech patterns on what I heard from some of those YouTubers as well as what I've heard people like John Boyega and Idris Elba saying in interviews, but the thing about doing your best is you still might fuck up.

I'm slowly making progress on my WIP where Nile and Sam Wilson are cousins, and what ways of talking with a family member might be authentic for Nile is a major question I need to figure out. For that, I'm largely modeling my writing choices on how I hear my Black friends and colleagues talking to each other. I haven't overheard colleagues talking in an office in a long-ass time, but back when that was a thing, I remember seeing a ton of nuance in the different ways many of my Black colleagues would talk to each other. Different people have different personalities! And backgrounds! And priorities! A few jobs ago my department was about 1/3 Black and we worked closely with Obama administration staff many of whom were Black and there was SO MUCH VARIETY in how Black people talked to each other, about work and workplace-appropriate personal stuff, where I and other white coworkers could hear. There are a few work friends in particular who I have in my head when I'm trying to imagine how Sam and Nile might talk to each other. From the outside looking in, God DAMN is shit complicated, intellectually and interpersonally and spiritually, for Black people who are devoting their professional lives to public service in the United States.

One more aspect of this that I have big thoughts on but I need to take extra care in talking about is the idea of acknowledging Nile's Blackness in her patterns of speech. There's no one right way to be Black, and Nile's a fictional character created by a white dude but there are plenty of real-life Black Americans who don't use much or even any AAVE, for reasons that are complicated because of white supremacy. (Highly highly recommend this video by Shanspeare on the harms of the Oreo stereotype.)

Something that's not the same but has enough similarity that I think it's worth talking about is my personal experience with authenticity and American Jewish speech patterns. My Jewish family members don't talk like they're in The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel, and I've known lots of people who do talk that way (or the millennial version of it), some of whom have questioned my Jewishness because I don't talk that way. That hurts me. Sometimes when another Jew tells me some shit like "I've never heard a Jew say y'all'd've," I can respond with "well now you have asshole, bless your Yankee-ass heart," because the myth of Dixie is a racist lie but I will totally call white Northerners Yankees when they're being shitty to me for being Southern, and this particular Jew fucking revels in using "bless your heart" with maximum polite aggression, especially with said Yankees. But sometimes I don't have it in me to say anything and it just quietly hurts having an important part of me disbelieved by someone who shares that important part of me. The sting isn't quite the same when non-Jews disbelieve or discount my Jewishness, but that hurts too.

Who counts as authentically Jewish is a messy in-group conversation and it doesn't really make sense to explain it all here. Who counts as authentically Jewish is a matter of legal status for immigration, citizenship, and civil rights in Israel, and it's my number 2 reason after horrific treatment of Palestinians that I'm antizionist. But outside that extremely high-stakes legal situation, it can just feel really shitty to not be recognized as One Of Us, especially by your own people.

It can also feel really shitty to be The Only One of Your Kind in a group, even if that group is an immortal chosen family who all loves each other dearly. Sometimes especially in a situation like that where you know those people love you but there are certain things they don't get about you and will never quite be able to. I'm definitely projecting at least a little bit of my "lonely Jew who will be alone again for yet another Jewish holiday" stuff onto Nile when at the end of I See Your Eyes Seek a Distant Shore she's thinking about being the only Black immortal and moving away from the community she'd built with a mostly-Black group of mortals in that fic. Maybe that tracks, or maybe that's fucked up of me.

Basically, this got very long but it's complicated, writing about experiences that aren't your own takes skill which in turn takes time and practice to build, writing about experiences not your own that our society maligns can cause a lot of harm if done badly, it can also cause a lot of harm when a large enough portion of a fandom just decides to nope out of something that's difficult and risky because then there's just not much content about a character who deserves just a shit ton of loving and nuanced content, people are individuals and two people who come from the exact same cultural context might show that influence in all kinds of different ways, identity is complicated, language is complicated, writing is hard, and empathy and humility and doing our best aren't a guarantee of avoiding harm but they do go a long way in helping people create thoughtful content about a character as awesome and powerful and kind and messy and scared and curious and WORTHY as Nile Freeman.

#nile freeman #linguistics #TOG POC Love Fest #nileweek2021 #tog meta #tog #long post #mine #antiblackness #jewish things #hi i'm an antizionist jew no i don't really want to talk about it

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moved-to-void-kissed · 3 years ago

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Flowers Hiding Thorns

Telanthera’s involvement in a plot to overthrow a cruel nobleman and distribute his wealth among the rest of the court is accidentally revealed to none other than the head of the nobleman’s household servants, Camellia. Luckily, the situation finds itself working out much more smoothly than either woman first expected. (1256 words)

Made it just in time for this to be my piece for the twenty-first day of sapphic September!! This is also the first piece of content I’ve created for my selfship with Camellia, who is an OC created by @vampking! Technically, this takes place before our relationship actually starts, but.. it still counts, right

Reblogs of my work are always okay, and appreciated, but by no means required! Comments should be enabled on the document (which is how I recommend reading it) if anyone wishes to leave any comments, but a transcript is also available below the readmore.

The estate’s regal presence was clear even in the depths of night-time, as the shadows of imposing buildings loomed ominously over their painstakingly-managed grounds. Only a few lonely figures could be seen moving through the mansion, as all those who were awake would have been lowly servants restoring the halls to their peak condition for the apparent benefit of the noble’s guests. Such effort on their part was only a small piece of a grand social affair, designed solely to impress to excess - and the woman holding the wax-sealed letter was sick of it.

“You know I can’t abide by his needless extravagance,” she was muttering in a low voice to a tall man standing in the corner of the room. “All this has to end, for the benefit of all of us.”

“And it very well will, with your assistance in this affair.” replied the man, similarly quietly. “The weightier the fool’s throne, the harder it inevitably crashes down when he sits upon it, no?”

“Yes, quite true,” the lady nodded, before stepping closer to hand over the letter she was holding. It contained a long list of the observations she had made of the estate the two were currently staying in, little insights and quirks of the buildings or the servants’ paths from her perspective. Although they were not perfect, given the lady’s position as a noblewoman, they were nevertheless more useful than anything her peers could have picked up on if asked to, since her early years were spent in a position much closer to a servant than their master, and even despite rising into the higher ranks of the social circles, she always maintained a courtesy and gratitude towards those who assisted her in some way.

“You’ve made the right choice here, Telanthera.”

This remark earned the man a glare that was only half-obscured by the low light, and the lady’s response came in a much less smirk-filled tone. “I suggest you don’t use any names here unless you want a listening ear throwing a spanner in all your well-planned works.”

“Oh, but of course, my dear. Now then, on the note of such, we’d best leave it here, don’t you think?” he asked, stepping back off of the curtain he had been leaning on with the merest sound. “It’s in all our best interests to have you here to assist.”

The man left the room with the smug confidence of one who has always known power and fortune, closing the door behind him silently. Telanthera felt she had done what she needed to, and after taking a moment to compose herself, she also opened the door and stepped out into the corridor. It was long and sprawling, still somehow retaining an air of pompous grandeur in the relative darkness, but the darkness gave it an ominous nature, as well.

As the noblewoman carefully tried to keep her movements quiet yet without provoking suspicion, her mind decided to worry about the consequences of her actions. What would she do if someone caught her out of her bedroom this late at night? One of the most low-ranking servants might be tirelessly cleaning or adjusting the curtains; she supposed she would have to try and emulate enough menace to convince them not to talk about seeing her, though she doubted whether such a tactic would work. It probably would, given that those kinds of people were thought of as expendable and nameless by the tyrant - which is what she tended to call the man whose estate she and other nobles were currently staying in, the man a small selection of those other nobles (which now, as of this night, included herself) were planning to topple and seize the numerous assets of. He was not their direct ruler, so she hesitated to think of these acts as revolution - but he definitely acted like he owned everyone and everything, and at the end of the day, seeing him crumble was all that was important.

That plan should work, she thought to herself, nervously. As long as I don’t run into someone more loyal to the tyrant, someone higher up in the hierarchy, I’ll be alright.

At that moment, the exact sort of person Telanthera hoped not to meet appeared in front of her.

The woman’s bright green eyes seemed heartless and icy in the low light, and her expression belied no hint of surprise or of being caught off-guard. Despite the late hour, her dark brown hair was still tied tightly in a long ponytail, as if she was always on-duty and ready to act. Her dark suit was impeccably neat and proper as well, matching the unmistakeable air of authority she was exuding.

“Camellia Smith, head of the household, in charge of managing household affairs and new servants.” Telanthera had written this down a short time ago in the letter of information she had just handed over, and the fact she was extremely unsure of what to do caused her to absent-mindedly state these facts aloud.

“..That’s correct. I doubt most of my liege’s guests would take the time to recall that as well as you apparently have.” replied Camellia, now also somewhat unsure of how to respond. But such feelings never lasted in someone as well-trained as she was, and she quickly regained control of the situation, standing steadfastly before the nervous noblewoman.

“Might I ask what has caused you to be awake so late at night, my lady?”

“It’s- I-” Such a loss for words was something no person of noble birth should experience, having painstakingly practiced the finer details of etiquette and proper composure from a young age. However, Telanthera was not well-accustomed to the position the Amaranth family had recently reached, and some would argue this meant she was not well-fitting for it, either.

Camellia pressed on, and in the process, confirmed Tel’s worst fear. “If I may, it would not be wise to leave the door of your room ajar with writing implements visible on the table.”

She knew about their plans! Surely someone so important within the tyrant’s servants would expose them!

“Every step should be taken to keep confidential matters and business out of the knowledge of those they do not concern. Surely you understand why this is important now?”

Again, Telanthera was lost for words, though this time because the servant had said something she was not expecting. Was this some elaborate method to try and get more information out of her?

Then something even more unexpected happened.

“I trust you can make your own way back to your room, my lady?”

“I- That is true, yes. There’s no need for you to accompany me, Miss Camellia.” Telanthera asserted, still rather nervous.

Something about this brought the tiniest hint of a smile to Camellia’s face. “Very well then. I wish you a good night’s rest, my lady.” With this said, she began to walk away, in the direction Telanthera had come from.

“A-And the same to yourself, Camellia. However, regarding what you may have seen-”

“Don’t worry.”

What?

She turned to face the lady with the confidence of any noblewoman. “You may already have noticed this, but my brother is also a servant here. Whatever loyalties you believe lie with my liege, are reserved only for him.”

And with that, she turned the corner, seeming to disappear in an instant.

Telanthera hurried back to her own room, still confused, but now wearing a smile of relief.

Perhaps her plans were not ruined at the first hurdle after all.

#a call from the void #creations from the void #cloverse selfshipping #that's definitely not been a tag before now but I know multiple people including myself have F/Os from it so now it's a thing /lh #this post is okay to reblog!#sapphicseptember2021 #selfship #selfshipping #love: tea for the liege (camellia)#selfship: a dance of endeavours (camellia/telanthera)#self‑insert: scourge of royalty (telanthera)#this is technically pre-relationship but it's fine right #have some worldbuilding #it's nearly midnight #selwyn i really hope this is okay #I am readily going to admit that this may not be my best work but hopefully I’ll have more time tomorrow for something #I think it’s Aqua time again #I say that because I’ve been trying to keep the selfships varied rather than doing too many of the same ones in a row

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kaishun · 4 years ago

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Fanexus - Upcoming Fandom-focused Platform

Hey y’all, Kaishun here, who hasn’t spoken in 85 years but still vaguely lurks around in the corners of your peripherals. As you guys probably know, with the tumblr ban on NSFW (both for things that actually were NSFW and vaguely fleshy colored), a lot of big folks in the fandom left for twitter. Well, twitter sucks, as it’s impossible to finding anything. Nobody tags stuff, because there’s not enough space to do so, and harassment’s pretty bad (both due to lack of tagging and due to tagging).

Fanexus is a platform wanting to change that! It’s kinda’ve the love child between tumblr and livejournal, and with the beta coming up soon, they’re trying to drum up some hype. I’m hype, so, I’m gonna go over some of my fav official features so far:

Proship / Anti-Harassment / Anti-Censorship

Useful Tagging System ( #Saix = #Saïx )

3 Accounts in 1 (1 login for 3 different blogs)

Details on^ below the cut. Here’s a pretty picture from their blog @fanexus-dot-net to show its progress:

Proship, Harassment, and Censorship (Don’t Like/Don’t Read)

A lot of platforms and people are aggressively censoring fictional content they don’t like. Whether that be two characters lewding in general, those character being in an abusive relationships, noncon, age gaps, underaged, incest, etc.-- a lot of people get harassed for drawing that kind of stuff. But, y’know-- it’s fictional. No different from the whole “video games cause violence” scare from moms in the 90s. But the harassment from people has gotten really bad, especially on twitter.

Fanexus allows whatever you want to draw/write/etc., as long as it is of fictional characters--with a great tagging system to support it. If you don’t like something... you block the tag! Bam, that simple. You shouldn’t see anymore.

For those of you who went to Pillowfort, and were displeased with the sudden rule change & bans regarding some content, Fanexus should have no such issue. They’re hosting in Denmark, where the country’s sex specialists determined that underaged content of fictional characters did not have a negative impact on actual children.

Useful Tagging System

idk about you, but I hate looking under the 10 different names for the same ship. Every other new artist seems to have another name for their fav pairing. Fanexus has a tagging system that support synonyms-- meaning “#XemSai”, “#Xemnas x Saix”, “#Xemnas/Saïx”, etc. will all show up under the same “#XemSai” search.

Its tagging is also hierarchical-- so if someone tags something with just “#XemSai”, it’ll show up under show up #Xemnas, #Saix, and #Kingdom Hearts. While this may come off as a bit scary at first (there’s such a “don’t put X in the main tag!” concern on tumblr), it normalizes letting your art/fics to be actually, like... seen. And if someone doesn’t like it #XemSai, they can just block the tag. This greatly decreases the chance of shy people with rarepairs just being lost to the abyss, never seen again. As someone who’s in some small fandoms, “forcing” everything to go into the series tag is a great feature to me.

It also lets people completely block series-- block the #Kingdom Hearts tag if you don’t want to see Melody of Memory spoilers. As long as they’ve tagged their posts with anything regarding the series, it’ll get caught up in that block filter, so you can safely play the game and still browse your feed.

Aliases (3 Accounts in 1)

With one account, you have three different “Alias” blogs. These generally function like completely different blogs (none of that sideblog shit); with their own posts, their own followers, their own following, and their own memberships to communities. You can switch between them with an easy click, instead of having to open a whole new browser or logout/login like on tumblr.

My plan is to have a SFW alias, a NSFW alias, and a RP alias. I can enjoy my SFW alias at work and on the go, as well as post some OCs to it; I can switch to my NSFW alias if I want to see some juicy smut on a lazy weekend; and to my RP alias to catch up on what’s been going on and write some replies.

Miscellaneous

Communities: You ever think about making a blog exclusively for one character, but go “ugh sideblogs suck and I don’t want to do this by myself”? Well, Communities allow everyone who joins to share content to it, easily gathering art/fics from your favorite character or series in one place. It’s a great way to find people with similar interests, follow some new artists, etc. Roleplay-wise, theoretically great for “Worlds”; tossing an opener into the themed world and getting some replies.

Funding: They’re currently planning on no ads, and funding via premium features, such as buying extra aliases. There’ll be a Kickstarter later for server cost and additional features.

People/Fans: I’ve been on their discord for a few weeks, and holy shit, these are my people. I’ve never felt so comfortable just like... chatting about my interests with people. I’m not the #1 sinner in the server at all times, like I am everywhere else. Discussions I’ve normally seen blow up into huge raging disagreements kinda just simmer to slightly irritable but still civil conversations. It’s kinda bizarre to witness, like... mature people talking to mature people.

Minors: Minors will not be able to see posts marked as 18+, full stop. You can also mark your entire blog as 18+, but you’re not required to. Minors who lie about their age will have their accounts banned.

Interested?: Their beta is going to be starting sometime late this month. You can find more details on their tumblr blog ( https://fanexus-dot-net.tumblr.com/ ) or their twitter ( https://twitter.com/fanexus ). You can sign up for their forum/discord/beta over here: https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1-Ll_vb1bukbnxHpaQcuxUikUu1NtqDk3-AsD4gZkjiY/viewform?edit_requested=true

#fanexus #hashtag not sponsored #I just really like what I see #fanexus-dot-net

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chemist-ana · 4 years ago

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Chapter 10- The Company Picnic— Sams POV

Book: The Nanny Affair

Characters: Sam, Ana Schuyler (MC), Robin, Mickey and Mason, Sofia, Mason Sr., Vivian,

Pairing: Sam Dalton (male) x Ana Schuyler (MC)

Rating: 18+

Content Warning: NSFW, Sexual Language, Adult Language, Sexual Situations

A/N This is a brand new series that I was inspired to write. I am going to go chapter by chapter in Sam Daltons POV. This story is completely inspired by Choices The Nanny Affair. I have used most of the dialogue from the actual story, anything written in BOLD was taken directly from the book and therefore is not my writing- credit to our good friends over at Pixelberry! All characters are credit to Pixelberry except for my OCs

Summary: When you let your guard down at the company picnic, will you be ambushed by friendly fire?

Word Count: 4740

Tag List: @txemrn @secretaryunpaid @lifeaskim @aussieez @pixie88 @thefrenchiemama @sfb123 @mainstreetreader @shewillreadyou @khoicesbyk @lady-calypso @choicesficwriterscreations @somersetmummy @melalicious8383

Robin stood there, his eyes flicking between Ana and I with a knowing look.

Fuck.

I run my hands through my hair, trying to gather my bearings.

“Robin, what are you doing here? And why is Sofia calling you?” Wait, why is Sofia calling him… I have my cell on me…

“She was looking for you. Do I even want to know what you two were up to?” His eyes narrow at me.

“We were just working!” Ana says breathlessly. Not exactly the perfect cover, Ana.

“You know you don’t actually work here, right Ana?” Robin crosses his arms and widens his stance, his frown deepening.

“Sam was showing me the prototypes. That count as work…” Her voice has grown quiet.

“We don’t need to explain ourselves to you, Robin. Did you finish the press release for the Milan breach?” My anger evident in my tone.

“I’ve been a little busy, but apparently I’m not the only one.”

Fucking drop it Rob.

“Enough. If you have something to say, say it. If not, then get back to work.” My eyes narrow at him in challenge. I watch as he turns on his heel to leave the lab, pausing briefly at the door and looking over his shoulder.

“I almost forgot. Sofia had a message for you, Ana. She said since you were doing this office tour today, you should come to the company picnic this weekend.”

“Really? I thought she wanted me fired.” Her eyes grow wide as she looks between Robin and I.

“It’s probably a ‘keep your enemies closer’ type of thing. She already told Mom and Dad about the invite, so they’re expecting you to be there.”

I clench my jaw, fighting back my ever increasing desire to punch that look off of his face. God I have been wanting to do that to him a lot recently... I close my eyes and pinch the bridge of my nose when I hear the door close to the lab, leaving Ana and I alone again.

The silence is palpable as I look at her, she is looking down as her fingers twist together.

“Ana, are you okay?”

“Sam, we have to be more careful. We’re lucky Robin was the one who walked in on us. It could’ve been much worse.” Her voice quiet as she continues to watch her hands.

“You’re right. It won’t happen again.” I don’t know how lucky we are that it was Robin… “You don’t have to come to the picnic, you know.”

Her emerald eyes lift to mine as she studies my face for a moment.

“If you… think it’s best I don’t-“ She takes a step away from me, looking back down at her hands. I reach out and gently place my hand on her arm.

“That’s not what I meant. I want you there. Against my better instincts… I always want you wherever I am.” Close to me.

Those words get her attention as she slowly rises her eyes to mine. I hear her breath catch and it sends a reminder of the passion that we just shared only moments before.

“Okay then, I’ll be there.” She gives me a small smile.

I return her smile as our eyes linger for a moment before my mind wanders to a less important question... Why was Sofia on the phone with Robin? I reach into my pocket and check my phone, no missed calls or texts. Weird…

I spend the rest of the day thinking of Ana, spread out before me on the lab table, the sound of pleasure that escaped her lips, and the sweet taste of her arousal on mine.

***

I wake up early the next morning, as I walk quietly into the kitchen, I pause outside of the door to Ana’s room. God how I want to just bring you into my bed and get lost in you… I shake my head, fuck these thoughts need to disappear… I need to escape while everyone is still asleep. I write a quick note and leave it on the counter- Went into the office early- will be home early to take the boys out for a treat. -Sam. Good enough.

I run my hands through my hair as I ride the elevator down to the lobby, Carter is waiting at the curb, always ready.

When I enter into my office the sun is just breaking above the skyline. The building is eerily quiet as I sit down in my chair, turning my attention to the waking of the city as the sunlight casts its morning shadows.

Suddenly I hear the door to my office open.

“How did I know you would be here already?” I close my eyes. Robin.

I hear him sit down in the leather chair on the other side of my desk and I turn my chair to face him, a smug look on his face.

“Sammy, what in the actual fuck is going on with you and Ana?”

I take a sharp inhale, “First of all, there is nothing going on between us. Second of all, even if there was, it would be none of your fucking business.”

“You are really going to lie to me? What I walked in on yesterday didn’t look like ‘nothing’.”

“Yeah, well, you know what happens when people make assumptions.”

“Sam, I thought by now you would understand that there are consequences to your actions.”

“Robin, save the kingly speech for someone who gives a damn. There is nothing going on between us.”

“You’re going to hurt her, and when all the chips fall, she is going to have nothing, and you are still going to have everything.”

I stare at him for a moment, biting the inside of my cheek.

“Why were you on the phone with Sofia?”

“I told you Sam, she was trying to find you.” He points a finger at me, before he shakes his head and stands up. “You better figure your shit out.”

Without another word he turns around and strides out of my office.

It’s going to be a long day.

***

I bring a glass of water to my lips for a sip as I type out a few quick texts, and alert Carter to be ready with the car in five minutes. Now where are the boys?

I make my way down the hall, and knock softly on Ana’s partially open door.

“Ana, have you seen the boys-“

“Dad, look! Ana’s wearing the outfit we picked out!” Mason pushes the glasses up his nose with a smile.

“Oh, wow. You look… nice.” My eyes flash as they run down the exposed skin of her delicate neck and her long legs. I swallow down a surge of desire.

“Just nice?” She asks with a coy smile.

I glance over at the twins who are now lost in a conversation between themselves before I lean in and the smell of jasmine fills my senses.

“Definitely not ‘just nice’, but I’m trying to be good.” My eyes flick to the twins.

“I think I like you better when you let yourself be bad.” Her emerald eyes darken and a memory flashes in my mind of the soft whimpers that escape her lips when I touch her.

I clear my throat, breaking myself of my trance as I stand up and look to the twins.

“Right. Is everyone ready to go in here?”

“I am!” Mason cheers running out of the door.

“Wait, I forgot my socks!” Mickey calls as he follows close behind.

My eyes linger on Ana before I reluctantly turn away.

***

Ana and I walk side by side down the large path in Central Park, the boys follow close behind.

“What’s the problem, you two? You don’t like picnics?” We stop and turn towards the boys who are kicking at the rocks on the pavement.

“Normal picnics, yeah. But who knows what Aunt Sofia has done to this one?” Mickey whines as he drags his feet.

“Boys, I promise you, Aunt Sofia didn’t have any part in planning this picnic.” I fight back the urge to laugh.

“But, we still have to follow her rules, don’t we?” Mason looks at Ana with a pleading look.

“You can still have fun too.” She gives him an encouraging smile. “Besides, there’ll be so much going on, I bet she won’t even notice if you sneak an ice cream cone. Assuming your dad says it’s okay, of course.”

“Really?” Mickey breaks out into a big grin.

“Sure. But just the one treat. We don’t want you to get a sugar overload.”

That seems to get them moving, because they run ahead. Ana and I share a look before we continue walking.

“It’s beautiful… I can see our building from here!” Mason shouts as we round the corner and the field comes into view.

My eyes meet Sofia’s as she starts walking towards us.

“Sam, you’ve got to see this. It’s accounting versus legal on the badminton court!” Her eyes are bright, you are unusually cheery today. Than her gaze falls on Ana, and I see a flash of something in her eyes, but it’s gone before I can tell what it is.

“Well, don’t you look adorable. You always know how to turn it on when it matters most, don’t you?” I resist the urge to close my eyes and sigh. Adorable, really Sofia?

“I try.” Ana gives her a confident smile.

“Can you also try to keep the boys from getting too dirty or being too loud or eating any sugar or running near the adults? Sam and I will be right back.” Sofia grabs my arm and leads me towards the badminton courts. I glance back at Ana who is herding the boys in the opposite direction.

“I am glad she decided to come today.” Sofia squeezes my arm. “Robin mentioned she had some hesitation.” My stomach sinks as I think about Robin… did he say anything to her?

“Yeah, so legal vs accounting huh?” I say effectively changing the topic.

***

After laughing a little too hard watching the accounting team get slaughtered by legal, I hear my dad’s voice calling over a megaphone.

“Welcome to the Annual Dalton Enterprises Company Picnic! I hope you’re ready for some good old-fashioned fun! We’ve got everything from giant Jenga to croquet to kickball.. But the highlight of the afternoon will be starting in five minutes… tug-of-war!” I hear a few good natured cheers and my eyes scan the field for Ana.

I see her talking to Robin, her brow furrowed.

“It’s Complex A versus Complex B! If you’re not an employee, pick a side.” My dad drops the megaphone and my eyes are still locked on Ana and Robin as I make my way across the field.

I don’t realize Sofia is behind me until I walk up on Ana and Robin and she is the first one to speak.

“Are you sitting out too, Ana? This game is so filthy and juvenile, I always sunbathe through it.” Sofia looks down at her manicured fingers and walks to the sidelines.

“Ana! You have to be on our team!” Mason shouts as him and Mason jog up to us.

“Yeah! Together we’ll be unstoppable!” Mickey chimes in as he gives Ana a smile. Ana’s eyes look between the boys then rise up to mine.

“We could use the extra hands…” I tell her.

“If Ana doesn’t want to play, she doesn’t have to play.” Robin’s eyes narrow at me.

I bite the urge to call Robin a petulant child.

“I can’t resist a good competition. I’m in!” She flashes a cocky smile at Robin.

“Yeah! Suck it, Uncle Robin!” Mickey jumps in the air and sticks his tongue out at Robin.

“Mickey…”

“I mean… you’re going down?” His eyes widen.

“We’ll see, kiddo.” Robins eyes soften as he looks down at Mickey, but harden immediately when he looks back at me. “At least we don’t have any distractions on our team.”

“Bring it on.” Ana turns on her heel and we walk towards our side of the rope.

We huddle together with the rest of the people on our team.

“First thing’s first, we need a team name!” Mason takes charge. That’s my boy.

“What about winners?” Ana says.

“Yeah, go winners!” Mason and the rest of the team cheers.

“Enough conferring! It’s time to play!” My dad’s voice booms over the megaphone.

We all line up as my mother explains the rules.

“Boys up front. Ana, you can stand by me.” I give Ana a smile as she stands directly in front of me.

I see Robin glaring daggers at Ana from the opposite side of the rope. My eyes dart back to Ana as I catch her sticking her tongue out at him. What were those two talking about earlier?

“Is that your method of long-distance trash talk?”

“It’s working, isn’t it? Robin’s head isn’t in the game, which means we’ve got this in the bag.” She gives me a confident smile.

“Let’s put that theory to theory to the test.” I give her a smile before she turns around, wrapping her hands around the rope.

My dad starts the pulling match and I lean back, digging in with my heels as the rope goes taught.

“You’’ll have to do better than that!” Ana shouts. You’re a competitive little thing aren’t you.

The boys are urging everyone to pull. I wrap my fingers tighter around the rope and heave and it seems to work, because the other side starts to give.

“That’s it, winners! We’ve got ‘em on the ropes!” I shout.

My eyes are locked on the muscles that are tense on Ana’s back.

“Almost… there!” Her voice rings out.

“We can’t… let them win… look at them!” Robin’s face is angry as he pulls. “Though I guess Ana does have some experience playing dirty.”

My eyes fly to Robin, but his gaze is focused on Ana. She ignores him and continues to pull, until we pull the marker onto our side. The momentum of her pulling causes her to stagger back… and right into my arms.

The smell of jasmine and Ana rush my senses as I squeeze my arms tightly around her, to steady her or hold her close I don’t know anymore. She looks over her shoulder and her emerald eyes meet mine, and for a moment the world fades away.

“…Hi.” A blush creeps up her neck as our eyes linger.

“Hi.” I smile.

Her eyes dart down to my lips as she takes her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyes growing dark. I slide my tongue across my lip and I feel her body tense.

“Sam…” She whispers and the sound sends a shockwave through my body.

“Ana, I-“ Fuck, you are in public, and Sofia is here.

“And the winner is- Team Winners!” My dad’s voice booming over the megaphone breaks me from my trance.

“We did it!” Mason and Mickey jump around excitedly. I drop my arms from Ana just in time for Mason and Mickey to tackle me in a hug. My eyes never leave Ana as they wrap their arms around me.

“You did it, boys!” I finally break my gaze to ruffle the twins hair as they cheer.

“We did it, Dad!” Mason looks up at me with a grin.

“Yeah, we couldn’t have beat Uncle Robin without you and Ana!” Mickey looks over to Ana.

“And we couldn’t have done it without you two.” She reaches out and ruffles Mickey’s hair.

God, this just feels so right.

“That’s one way to put it.” Robin. Moment fucking broken.

My eyes fly up to Robin’s who has his eyes narrowed at Ana. I am about to snap when my mother walks up besides us.

“Nobody like a sore loser, Robin. Be a good example for your nephews.”

“Samuel, my big, strong man! I’ve got a wet wipe and a fresh shirt with your name on it.” Sofia walks up and wraps an arm through mine, and pulls me away from the group. I look down at her as she leads towards a tent, her eyes focused.

***

I stand silently next to my father as we watch everyone start to leave.

“I would call that a success.” He glances over at me.

“I would say so. You and mom should go, let me handle the clean up.” I clap him on the back as my mother walks up to us.

“Are you ready to go Mason, dear?”

“Yes, Viv.” He extends his arm for her to take before turning to me one last time. “Well done today, Sam.”

“Bye, Samuel.” My mother brushes a kiss to my cheek before I watch her and my father walk towards the edge of the park.

With a sigh I grab a few trash bags and begin walking around, picking up loose plates. My eyes fall on Ana and the boys and I make my way over to them.

“I’ll take those.” I hold open the trash bag for Ana and the boys to drop their used plates and napkins in. Ana and I fall into step next to each other as we follow the boys to the edge of the park.

“So, did you have a good time today?” I glance down at her and the sun has left a beautiful glow on her olive skin.

“Well, I missed you.” She says softly, turning her beautiful face towards mine. “I feel like I barely got to see you all day after tug-of-war. But this moment right here, with you? It’s been the best part of my day.”

“The party planning committee will be disappointed to hear it… but it’s my favorite too.” I chuckle, my eyes lingering on hers as I watch the sun reflect off of the little specs of gold amongst the emerald green.

As we round the corner I see Carter waiting at the curb, Robin and Sofia already there besides the car. Why are they always together…?

“Looks like the ride home will be a little crowded tonight.” Ana murmurs.

“Good thing I can get out of it for once, I always stay behind and help the cleaning crew after the picnic. It’s the least I can do to show my appreciation for everything.” I look down at her as our arms brush.

“No ones too good to clean up their own mess, right Dad?” Mason asks as he kicks a rock on the pavement.

“That’s exactly right, little man.” Damn proud.

“But we don’t have to stay… right?” Mickey’s eyes grow wide.

“Not until you’re a little older.” I smile at the look of relief on his face.

The boys climb into the car and I catch Sofia’s eye.

“Yes, honey, very inspiring. See you at home.” She leans in and brushes a kiss against my cheek then follows the boys into the car.

“Ana, are you coming?” Robin asks as his eyes scan Ana’s body.

Ana looks up at me with a question in her eyes.

“You’re welcome to stay and help, if you want. It won’t take long between us and the crew. We usually divide and conquer to cover more ground.” Please stay…

“Sounds like a great way to help out this afternoon.” She meets my eyes with a warm smile, her eyes not hiding her true intentions.

“Sure. Just… remember what I said.” Robin regards Ana with a firm look, before shifting his focus to me, and finally climbing into the backseat of the car.

Ana and I turn around and head back to the picnic area, our arms brushing lightly as we walk in a companionable silence.

“Have you ever been to a big picnic like this before?” The breeze blows through her hair as she looks up at me.

“I have never been to one before. Neither of my parents ever had a company picnic, so this was a first.”

“And? What’s the verdict?”

“I’ll let you know when I have one.” She gives me a coy smile before turning her attention back to the park.

I hand her a trash bag and she begins picking up stacks of paper plates.

“I bet you’ve been to a million of these over the years.”

“You could say that. I was still a kid when we held the first one, but it looked nothing like this. We could practically all fit on one blanket back then.” I smile at the fond memories… we have come a long way since then.

“It’s hard to imagine the company being that small.”

“Yeah, we’ve definitely grown a lot since then. But as much as I sometimes miss how… simple things were back then, we also couldn’t make as big of a difference. We can help so many more people now that we’re bigger.”

“I bet that feels good.”

“It does. And it definitely makes the hard days a little easier.”

“Speaking of, I can’t believe you’re not soaking in a bubble bath right now. You were at the center of all of the activity today.” She glances at me. I want to be in a bubble bath with you.

We bend down to pick up a red solo cup at the same time, our fingers brushing, and a blush spreading across her cheeks as her eyes snap away from mine.

“Sorry.” She says quickly.

“No worries.” I smile at her, but I can sense a change in her mood. “I am pretty tired, but it’s a Dalton family tradition to stay behind with the workers and, well, work. My father always stayed behind, but now that he’s older, the mantle falls on me.”

“You know, Robin mentioned one time that he’s also being considered for CEO… but I can’t really picture him staying behind, even if it’s part of the job description.” What else has Robin told you about my family? Yeah, well, if there is anything I know about Robin is that he does the bare minimum.

“Yeah, well, he probably wouldn’t have to, even if he were CEO. My dad has always held Robin to different standards than me. But at this point, that would only happen if I really, really, messed up.”

She glances around and when I follow her eyes, I realize we are all alone on this side of the park.

“Taking responsibility has never been Robin’s strong suit. Great at making messes though.” I flash her a smile but she seems to be avoiding my gaze. “You’re being awfully quiet over there.”

“Hmm? Oh, I just… have a lot on my mind.” She replies without looking at me. There is definitely something wrong… and fuck I hope it doesn’t have to do with Robin. “Actually, Sam… there’s something I wanted to talk to you about…” Her lips turn down in a frown. Definitely Robin.

“What did Robin do now?”

“Earlier today, he pulled me aside and demanded that I leave you alone…” I stare into her eyes, trying to read the expression on her face.

“What did you say?” Please tell me you didn’t tell him anything…

“I told him I didn’t know what he was talking about… but I don’t think he believed me.”

I let out a deep breath and reach up to rub the knots in my neck. Fuck…

“I’m so sorry I’ve put you in this position, Ana. You shouldn’t have to deal with my brother confronting you like this.” What are you doing to her?

I reach out and cup her cheek and I can see the pain in her eyes.

“Robin seemed pretty sure that at the en dog all of this… I would be the one who ends up hurt.” Fuck Robin, stay out of my business.

“As much as I hate to say it- and as much as I will do everything in my power to prevent it- he’s probably right.” I cringe as the words come out of my mouth. “But Ana, my parents’ expectations, the company politics, Sofia… it all just fades away when I look at you.”

“Sam…” My name rolls off her lips in a whisper.

In that instant, the sprinklers turn on, sending a jetting stream of water onto both of us.

She cries out and leans into me as I wrap my arms around her, trying my best to shield her from the water.

“Okay, seriously, who sets their sprinklers to go off in the middle of the afternoon.” I laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation, even though I can’t complain having Ana in my arms.

“Someone who got AM and PM mixed up?” She laughs and the sound brings an even bigger smile to my face.

I lean away from her slightly, my eyes roaming her face as I smooth the hair from her face. She is so beautiful…

“You look beautiful like this… I’ve never seen you wet before.”

“You don’t know that.”

Her words send a shockwave to my cock. I definitely didn’t mean it like that, but fuck am I glad you did.

“That’s not fair. Now that’s all I can think about…” You, wet, in my arms, in our home, in the car… fuck…

“Sam, now you know how I feel.”

“Does this mean you think about me all the time? At night, in bed, alone…?” My voice has dropped to a husky whisper as images of her on her back, naked, and moaning fill my head.

“Yes… touching myself, thinking of you, wondering if you’re turned on because of me.” The huskiness of her voice matches mine as her eyes wander my face and linger on my lips.

Holy fuck, you naughty little thing.

“Always…” I tighten my grip on her waste as her breath catches in her throat.

“Sam… kiss me.”

I was hoping you would say that.

I lean down and capture her perfect pink lips in mine, my hands roam her every curve, trying my hardest to memorize the twists and turns. Our kiss grows in passion as she lets out a moan into my mouth.

I grab her hips, pulling her against my growing desire.

“Ana… what are you doing to me?” I whisper against her mouth… I have never been so out of control in my life as I am when I am around you…

I drop my lips to her jaw, trailing light kisses up to her ear, the smell of Ana, sunshine and jasmine, fills my senses as I taste her sweet skin.

“I can’t seem to control myself around you…” I whisper into her ear.

“Maybe I want you to lose control…” She whispers, her lips lightly grazing mine.

She tangles her fingers into my hair and drags my lips back to hers. I want to lose control with you… My fingers continue their exploration as I graze my fingers over her erect nipples through her shirt, god this wet shirt is doing wonders for you…

“I want nothing more than to lay you down and take you right here, but…” I whisper in her ear as I blaze a trail of kisses down her neck, her body responding to my every touch with soft whimpers and gasps.

“We are still in public… and broad daylight.” Her breathing is erratic as I press my forehead to hers. I close my eyes, and listen to her erratic breathing and feel the rise and fall of her chest.

“Dammit.” I whisper. I lean in and press a soft, slow kiss to her lips before I pull away. My body instantly missing the contact. I grab one of her hands in mine and give it a light squeeze. “You’re going to be the death of me, Ana. Or at least, the death of my reputation.” I take a moment to check my surroundings, fortunately we are still alone.

“…You’re welcome?” Her soft laugh ringing through my ears.

“We should probably get back to cleaning, or we’ll never finish.”

“Oh, I’m desperate to finish, alright.” Her coy smile spreading across her lips.

I smile at her with a shake of my head, her lips red from our kisses and her skin flushed… so damn beautiful…

We make our way out of the line of fire of the sprinklers and continue working, well into the evening. My fingers moving in time with the rise and fall of her curves, remembering the sparks of electricity and the sound of her moans.

#choices the stories you play #the nanny affair #choices sam dalton #samdalton #mickey and mason

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surrepo-iuvenisdomina · 3 years ago

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rules: conduct

BEGIN.

Before we start, I would like you to have certain things in mind when approaching me ooc. I am very shy and quite awkward, which results in me not being much of a talker; however, I will always try my best to be friendly to whoever wants to approach. I dislike pet names so please do not use them with me unless we are very close. There will be times when I’m just exhausted, so my wording could sound rude/aggressive, to which I apologize in advance -I never mean to hurt people’s feelings. I also reserve the right to interact with WHOEVER I want, and pestering me about it will only get you blocked.

Last updated March 1st, 2022.

I. BASIC.

A. This blog is: Selective / Independent / NSFW / Mutuals only / Fewship / Multiverse / AU, Crossover, OC, and Multimuse friendly

B. I am a very slow rper for many reasons —school, family, my ever-fluctuating mood —and I would appreciate it if you refrained from hounding me for replies. In return I offer as much patience as necessary. Think of this blog as low activity please.

C. English is not my mother language so I apologize in advance for any mistakes made.

D. I track the tag #surrepoiuvenisdomina (note the lack of the hyphen on the tag. Using it makes it quite difficult to track things, which is why I’ll ask you not to use it), although mentioning me works just as fine.

E. Constructive criticism is always welcome but anon hate will be immediately deleted. I have no problems if you disagree with my portrayal, but it doesn’t give you the right to harass me.

F. Mun and muse are both over 18, so there are chances that heavy content will be present; however I won’t be writing smut. I can roleplay anything before or after the act if requested, but the moment things get far too explicit, I’ll do a fade-to-black. I ask of you to not lie about your age or else you’ll be blocked indefinitely.

G. This is a HEAVILY headcanon-based blog, and changes are likely to be made as/if more information is revealed about Kaya. .

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I. Ask box is open for everyone ic or ooc, but you aren’t allowed to turn it into a thread and nor I will reply to it if we’re not mutuals. Please don’t push me, because I won’t hesitate to block.

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K. Discord is available for mutuals upon request.

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M. DO NOT involve me in drama or call-out posts. I’m heavily against both things. On this note, you’ll never see me rebloging a call-out post. This culture is so damaging and toxic, and I firmly believe no one should play the role of the judge for the good of the community just because you had issues with someone or don’t agree with the things they roleplay. Talk things privately, be mature about it, hard-block the person and move on. I am also very aware that a lot of people have done things that can’t be excused, but I like to believe that people can change for the better. If you try to drag me into it, I’ll hard block any and all people involved indefinitely.

II. TRIGGERS.

A. They will be tagged as trigger tw, trigger / and trigger cw.

B. I do my best to stay up to date with my mutuals’ triggers. Your comfort is way more important to me than you might think, so never be hesitant to approach me via IM, (anonymous) ask or stop following me.

C. Triggers that are likely to appear, although some more than others: abuse || depression || blood || death || drugs || suicide attempt || body image || medical equipment || suggestive content || etc

D. I have no triggers, so you are free to go wild with your content. I only ask you remember to tag your nsfw (both written and visual), please.

III. INTERACTIONS.

A. Mun does not equal muse. Our opinions are unlikely to be the same, and her actions have little to nothing to do with how I feel/what I think, so you, as the mun, have no reason to take things personal, because I’m won’t follow someone I don’t like; if you DO take it personal however, and decide to rouse drama, then I’ll be hard-blocking you. Goes for me as well —I have no reason to get angry for any of the things noted above.

B. My bonds page displays the relationships that have been built over time, not necessarily through interaction alone but over plotting as well. Refer to it for more information.

C. I’m selective when it comes to interacting with OCs related to canon characters, but it doesn’t mean I won’t follow unless there’s a overly detailed and extensive about page, I just ask that said connection it’s within the possibilities of the OP universe. Just as I’m more open about following, I’m also willing to discuss and even modify my canon with OCs related to Kaya as long as it’s within reason.

D. Formatting isn’t a big thing across my blogs, save for the small text. Please don’t mix either sup/sub with small text when writing with me, as I have eyesight problems. Don’t use colored text either.

E. Non-romantic pre-established relationships are allowed! Just make sure to talk it out with me first, yeah?

F. You don’t need to match my writing length as long as I’m given enough to work with. If something about my reply bothers or doesn’t work with you, let me know and I’ll re-work it.

G. I really enjoy plotting scenarios or talking out about the relationships my muse could have with other muses, so hit me up if you’ve got any ideas! I’ll try to do the same!

H. I don’t use a threadtracker because I rely on my memory (terrible mistake, I know), but I try to draft people’s replies as soon as I see them. If by any reason it seems like I lost it, then please let me know / send me a link with it and I’ll be deeply grateful.

J. I don’t do nor reply to greetings starters for matters of my own comfort, so I ask of you to never expect a starter or a reply from them.

IV. SHIPPING.

A. Fewship. Every relationship is separate from the others in different universes. Exclusivity means I will not ship with a duplicate of x muse

01. Shipping with Kaya will be slow-burn by default, not because she’s oblivious to people making moves on her, but because studying is a major focus on her life. That being said, I won’t discourage your muse from falling for/hitting on her, although I ask you understand she might not respond with the same interest.

02. If my shipping partner is comfortable enough, I’ll interact with duplicates on the condition that the relationship is strictly platonic.

B. Constant interaction, mutual interest, and chemistry are a must for the sake of better communication (both ic and ooc, preferably).

C. Comes without saying, but please do not force ships on me.

V. CELEBRATIONS.

A. First off, I am absolutely terrible at keeping up with dates, and to be frank, I am not the biggest fan of celebrating, which is why I think it’s necessary to say I won’t be partaking in any holidays, not even Kaya’s birthday. Obviously I’ll still reply to any gifts received, and will send out things in return —you know, common courtesy.

B. I won’t be sending out birthday gifts every year, and I might write drabbles for people once in a blue moon; it doesn’t mean they will be done for the specific date though, so please be patient.

VI. REASONS TO NOT FOLLOW BACK / UNFOLLOW.

A. Too much drama / call-outs / vague posts / sexual content.

B. Content makes me uncomfortable.

C. You are a personal blog without a visible rp sideblog. Please make sure it’s easy to find.

D. You do not have a proper tag system.

E. Your blog doesn’t have a rules and about pages.

F. You lack the manners to deal with people respectfully.

G. I have no interest / lost interest.

H. I’m constantly / only used as a meme archive.

I. Other reasons may apply. I will soft block so we can both cease following each other and avoid any potential awkward situations. I won’t make a fuss if you decide to unfollow so I expect the same courtesy.

VII. MISCELLANEOUS.

A. I will never force people to follow me, so if by any reason you have to unfollow/block me, please go ahead. Your comfort matters and have every right to do what you must to ensure your wellbeing. With that said, I will not tolerate and will immediately hard block if you try to police my content.

B. I do not follow back immediately, and it can take me from a few hours to several days to follow back. Do not take it personally if I choose not to.

C. If I follow it’s because I am interested in interacting. I only ask you to be patient because it might take me a while to gather the courage to send something to your inbox or talk to you.

D. I have. ZERO knowledge about medicine. Don’t expect me to go full force and try to be 100% accurate, because I won’t.

E. I practice reblog karma (send a meme to someone if I’m rebloging it from them). If you see something you’d like to reblog but have no intention in sending something yourself, then please reblog from the source.

IX. FINISH.

Thank you for taking the time to read this! As you might have noticed, there’s no password to send. Make sure to check the psa tag for any updates, or don’t hesitate to send an ask if there’s anything unclear! I do my best so as not to post too much OOC posts, but sometimes it just happens. If it’s nothing important, then I’ll erase it whenever I have the chance/remember.

keanu reeves vc: You’re all breathtaking!

#pinned post.#long post #ooc.#queue.#[ i mean it when i say it's a long post ]

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vivi-the-sky-kid · 3 years ago

Text

Sowing the Seeds (of Love), Chapter 1

Aka the Resh/OC Fix-It Fic Nobody Asked for but I'm Inflicting on All of You Anyways as Punishment for Kai's Your Hubris

The King has always been a mysterious figure in the annals of the Sky Kingdom's history, generating both awe and fear within the hearts of the sky spirits. Few can claim to have met them in person; certainly not Tav, a researcher of light creatures for the Vault of Knowledge. But when they discover their research may be used to harm the very creatures they know and love, Tav knows they cannot allow this to happen.

Somehow, they must change the King's mind. If that means throwing butterflies at their royal face, then so be it.

-<◇>-

Warnings: Will be added to each chapter when necessary, but there's not gonna be anything graphic in this (do send me an ask if you think there's something I should warn about tho)

Rating: T (just to be on the safe side)

Pairing(s): Resh/OC

Tag(s): Enemies to Lovers, Fake Dating, Canon Divergence, Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies

Additional Tag(s): Resh and Alef are twins, Resh and Tav are both nonbinary, Resh uses he/they, Tav uses she/they, Resh is demiromantic and pansexual, Tav is biromantic and demisexual, no beta we die like moths in eden

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

-<◇>-

Chapter 1

Word Count: 2,477

Warning(s): None

-<◇>-

Fury powered her strides as Tav marched towards the elevator leading to Elder Lamed's level of the Vault. What they had overheard... it was unthinkable! Outrageous! And they intended to let Lamed know exactly that! She couldn't let her research be used like this. Not to harm the very creatures they had spent their life studying.

Onwards and upwards she went, a lone figure on the elevator. Scholars sorting memory cubes and acolytes tending to the spiritual residue of the Kingdom's history flew past her vision. Finally, the elevator came to a stop, its power diamond moving to rest over the Elder statues, and Tav mustered their psychokinetic powers to fly the short distance to the grassy island. That had been a trick the mantas had helped her master; if not for them, she would still struggle to get around Vault's upper levels like before. They took a breath to steady themself, adjusted the prairie lily clipped to their hair, and moved forward.

As they crested the structure bearing the Elder statues, Tav looked around. She could see no sign of Elder Lamed, which meant, more likely than not, the Elder had withdrawn into their private domain. There was nothing for it but to light the altar candles, sit before their statue, and pray.

Their legs had started to fall asleep when they finally felt the brush against their mind that meant Lamed had heard their prayer, and was ready to listen. She relaxed and let the Elder pull their consciousness into that dreamy world. When they next opened their eyes, they knelt in the same spot, although the elevator diamond was now gone, casting the area in comfortable shadows. In the statue's place stood Lamed, gazing down at her with an unreadable look.

“Ah, so you are the one who prayed. Tav, was it? Head of the light creature research effort?”

“That's correct, Elder Lamed. I've come to you regarding a decision involving my research.”

“Is that so?” Their eyes flickered beneath the mask, before they dipped their head. “Very well. Speak.”

Tav jumped to their feet, hands clenching the fabric of their robe. “Elder Lamed, I cannot permit my research to be used to develop these 'dark weapons' R&D is proposing! Light creatures are beautiful, wonderful creatures that share a great deal in common with us. They are intelligent, gentle, and loving beings. To turn them into weapons is... is... is out of the question!”

The Elder's eyes had grown wide at her outburst, but soon closed as they pressed a hand to their forehead. “Really, Tav, you're being unreasonable. R&D has already gained permission from the King to go forth with this project. Are you saying you doubt His Majesty's judgment regarding the good of the kingdom?”

“Yes!”

Silence filled the domain. Sweat began running down Tav's back as a great pressure weighed down on them. When they almost gave in and knelt once more, it lifted, and Lamed turned away.

“I expect your research to be turned in to the Vault at the appropriate deadline. Is that understood?”

Tav was silent.

“I said, is that understood, Tav?”

“...It is, Elder Lamed.”

“Good. You are dismissed.”

With that, their vision swam, and they closed their eyes to ward off the nausea. Upon opening them, she found herself back at the summit, the power diamond shining coldly overhead. They looked up at the statue and sighed.

Resolve filled them once more, and they stood and walked back to the elevator. Lamed may not have listened, but there was one more person she could try to convince. All reports of the King had them as a kind and benevolent ruler who listened to the people, yet these latest projects said otherwise. Which was the truth, and which was a lie? There was only one way to find out.

Tav swallowed the lump of fear in her throat. This was no time to get cold feet. The light creatures were counting on them.

First things first, however. She needed to keep her research out of the wrong hands.

-<◇>-

Another day, another round of paperwork. Resh sighed inwardly as he dipped his manta quill into the inkwell to sign the latest report from the Golden Land's biggest sunsteel refinery. Production was holding steady due to the shipment of light from Daylight Prairie, and they would likely have enough in reserve for the little project Vault R&D had recently proposed.

A soft call from the doorway caught their attention, and they lifted their head. One of the guards—a new recruit, if their nervous demeanor was any indication—was standing there somewhat awkwardly, but snapped to attention once his gaze was upon them.

Yes, definitely new. That salute was just a little bit too sloppy to be one of the older members.

“What is it?” he said, fixing his gaze on them.

They stiffened. “Y-Your Majesty, there is... a researcher from the Vault demanding to speak with you. They refuse to leave otherwise.”

“Return them to the Vault. We have no time for a meeting, let alone with some unknown researcher,” they replied, returning to their paperwork.

“What do they want?” said a new voice, chiming up from the door leading further into the royal quarters.

Resh blinked and slowly turned towards it. Watching the exchange was their twin, Alef, still dressed in the formal wear of the golden mask, yellow-painted pizaine, and midnight-blue cloak they used for being the public face of the King. They must have returned a short time ago from their trip to the Valley.

“Your Majesty, they have requested you withdraw your support for the Dark Matter Bioweapon project.”

“Have they, now?” Resh shook his head. “Unfortunately, it is too late. The proposal has been signed and delivered to the Vault. To withdraw it now would be equivalent to saying We have made a mistake.”

They let the implications of that statement hang in the air like a sword above the guard's head. With a stammered response of, “Of course, Your Majesty,” they left, and soon only Alef and Resh remained in the office. The latter ignored the former's pointed look, turning back to the stack of paperwork that had yet to be completed with another sigh.

“You've been doing that a lot lately. Perhaps you should take a break.”

Resh shot them a glare out of the corner of his eye, but did not stop his work. Only when they had signed a petition to expand the Valley of Triumph, a tally of candle production in the Isle of Dawn, and a request for more light shipments to the Hidden Forest, did they gesture with their free hand to the desk's contents.

“As you can see, Alef, I am kept busy with the affairs of the kingdom. I am King, after all. My guidance is needed to ensure the kingdom's prosperity.” He dipped the quill into the inkwell once more and grabbed another piece of paper—this time, a request from the Valley to provide them with more boats, as some had broken recently.

“I cannot rest until I have dealt with these matters” —and they said this last bit under their breath— “even if they are incredibly dull.”

Alef hummed and moved closer, cloak swishing softly around his body. They picked up one of the papers in the discarded stack, scanned it, and then looked to Resh. “Surely you can rest from these for a short time? All work and no play makes one a dull star.”

“How rich, coming from the one who only concerns themself with attending celebrations and avoiding any work here,” they replied.

Alef narrowed his eyes, then shook his head and shrugged.

“You want me to do some work here? Very well.” They went up to the switch next to the desk, which would summon a guard when activated (not that Resh had ever used it), and called forth their inner flame in one hand to light it. Soon enough, the same guard from before came to the office. They gave the salute again, a little more firmly this time.

“You called, Your Majesty?”

“Is the researcher still here?”

“Y-Yes, Your Majesty. I was on my way to relay your wishes when you summoned me back.”

“I have decided to grant them an audience. Please have them escorted to the throne room.”

“Oh, uh...” They cleared their throat. “As you wish, Your Majesty.”

“What are you doing?” Resh said, eyeing their sibling with suspicion.

“Work. You said you were too busy to meet with them, didn't you? Well, it just so happens that I am remarkably free. As your dear elder sibling, it is the least I can do for you, Resh.”

With that, they glided from the office before Resh could stop them, leaving him standing with his hand grasping at air.

They sighed.

-<◇>-

The throne room was easily the largest chamber of the Palace, with a throne built to match—a deliberate choice on Resh's part, during its construction all those years ago. Looking the part was half the battle, and what better way to show your kingliness than by being five times the size of Elder Tsadi, he had said. Which Alef now was, having shifted in size to full height as they approached the throne room. The guards at the entrance snapped to attention, and he nodded in greeting as he passed through.

Near the far wall was the diminutive figure of the researcher, their head craned back to take in the full view of the mural displayed there. Two guards flanked them, ensuring they didn't go anywhere they weren't supposed to be. Alef cleared their throat, the sound echoing to every nook and cranny due to the chamber's acoustics, and every person in the room jumped. The guards soon lined up and stood at attention, and the rogue researcher turned to look at him as he took his place on the throne. One guard said something quietly to them, and the researcher nodded, brushed out their robe, and walked forward beside the guards.

“So this is the spirit who requested an audience with Us?” Alef intoned, glancing down at the guard who escorted them, and they nodded timidly. His eyes returned to the spirit, noting that, even with the crest typical of the Vault's senior members, they barely surpassed most of the guards in height. Despite this huge difference in size between them and himself, they barely trembled.

How interesting.

“We permit you to speak, spirit.”

They bowed in acknowledgment, and upon straightening, called out, “Your Majesty, I must urge you to reconsider this Dark Matter Bioweapon project! Light creatures are our friends. They do not deserve to be treated like mere tools, to be used up and cast aside!”

Alef tilted their head to the side thoughtfully, taking their chin between their thumb and index finger.

“...What is your name, star?”

“My name is Tav, Your Majesty. Head of the Vault's research into light creatures.”

“I see.” They leaned forward, casting their shadow over Tav. “Tell Us, Tav. This project is intended to better the kingdom's future. If light creatures are our friends, do they not owe this kingdom their aid, in whatever form we require?”

Tav stepped forward, their hands balling up at their sides.

“There must be a better way than this! Whatever future that project holds is worse than one where we treat the light creatures as our allies. I know it! Please, Your Majesty, let me show you.”

How very interesting.

And exactly what they needed.

Alef steepled their fingers before them, resting their elbows on the armrests of the throne. A sly grin formed on his face. Though it was hidden by their mask, Tav seemed to sense its presence, because they took an involuntary step back.

“We have an offer for you, Tav.”

At the same time, they called out to their sibling and requested their presence in the throne room.

-<◇>-

Resh sighed as they walked.

At one point, the magnificent tapestries and luminous murals decorating the walls of the throne room had brought him such joy. But that had been many, many years ago—too many to count. Now they were just another feature of the brilliant, intricate, boringthrone room, easily ignored in favor of dealing with the unwelcome researcher currently standing before the throne. The reason they had been called away from their work by their sibling.

“Ah, there you are,” Alef said from their spot on the throne. They turned back to the spirit. “Resh is Our Will, you see. They are the one who approved the project. Now, We will send a message to the Vault requesting that they do not proceed with the project until We permit. You have until then to persuade Resh of the truth of your words.”

...What?

The two of them turned, and Resh winced when he realized he had spoken aloud.

“Forgive me, Your Majesty. I was just wondering what this task you have given me is.”

“Ah, of course. You see, Resh, Tav here would like to show Us that light creatures should not be used in the Dark Matter Bioweapon project. However, We have our duties to contend with, and so cannot leave the Palace for such a matter. You, on the other hand, are Our Will, and so We have decided that you shall go in Our stead.”

Even from this distance, and even with the mask hiding their face, Resh could feel the gleeful smugness radiating from Alef like heat from a flame. Their most venomous thoughts, directed like psychic arrows at their twin, only increased the smugness, and so, narrowing their eyes, they bowed courteously to the researcher—Tav, was it?

“As you wish, Your Majesty. When shall we be departing?”

“I assume Tav here needs some time to prepare their case. We shall permit them a day to do so. On the morrow, you shall follow after them to...?”

“Oh, uh, Daylight Prairie, Your Majesty.”

“Daylight Prairie. I can see why you chose to do your research there.”

“Thank you, Your Majesty,” Tav said, bowing deeply before leaving with their escorts.

When they were gone, Resh unleashed the full force of their glare at Alef, folding their arms before their chest.

“What are you plotting?”

“Why, nothing! Simply giving you the rest you deserve,” they said, rising from the throne. “Now, if you'll excuse me, I do believe there is paperwork with my name on it. Don't be late for the boat tomorrow, Resh. It would reflect poorly on Us.”

With that, they waved and left, shrinking back down to a more manageable size as they went. Resh watched them go, scowling and boring holes into the back of their head.

Then he sighed and returned to the royal quarters to rest and prepare appropriate clothing for this farce.

Alef would pay for this.

-<◇>-

Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12

#sky children of the light #sky #sky king #resh #resh my beloved /j #hi this fic is technically to blame for the bones thing last night #i'm very sorry #i thought of some potential headcanons and then it spiraled out of control #author's note: a pizaine (also spelled pixane) is a type of armor also called a standard or mantle #while in our world it's made of leather or chainmail #in the sky kingdom they seem to make them out of stone as seen on various spirits

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asunshinepuff · 4 years ago

Text

Secrets of the Darkened Seas

🧜🏻‍♀️ Hello! Welcome to chapter two! Please please please give a like and follow to my co-author and best friend Luna ( @epithymiahua ) because this story would not be where it’s at without her help!

She’s incredible and deserves so much credit for working on this alongside me cause she works so hard. And I feel horrible that she isn’t getting the credit deserves. Especially since this chapter includes her own oc! All credit for his creation goes to her because she’s worked so hard to create him!

As always, a reminder that there is some lore included within this, however it will be explained over time so no worries. There’s no mention of lore for right now.

The Included lore on different types of merfolk will be taken from the book “The Secret World of Mermaids” by Francine Rose. I will not take credit for it’s writing. It’s a childhood book of mine that I adore dearly and sincerely think you should all check out!

Also! Please let me know if you want to be added to the tag list so that you don’t miss a new chapter!

Anyways, that’s about it. I hope you enjoy! 🧜🏻‍♀️

Chapter 2: The Dragon’s Pearl

The man and the young boy made their way to the far side of the docks, the sun was beginning to make it’s descent to the sea. The water rippled below the hull of ships, anchors being lowered or weighing anchors to begin their sails back at sea. Some of the townspeople were making their trek home. Quinn and Remus approach the ship that Remus had seen earlier in the day from a distance.

But up close, it was truly a sight to behold. The masts that were open, were a starking white, the wooden haul a rich brown mahogany, spotless with not a barnacle in sight. The railings were painted gold like the sun, freshly polished and not a splinter out of place. The bow had a golden nautical figurehead of a creature that Remus had never seen before. With a long serpentine body fully covered in scales, and large horns protruding from its head. A white spherical object clutched in one of its clawed hands. It’s jaws open as if to strike.

Remus’ eyes widened as he gazed upon the ship he had studied earlier. Glancing at Quinn, he couldn’t help but ask, “How has no one tried to steal this ship?”

Quinn chuckles, “Oh they’ve tried, but never got very far. My brother, the captain, is a force of his own that is not to be reckoned with.” He says with a smile. At Remus’ growing concerned face he quickly adds on, “Don’t worry. He might seem a bit… well, rather cold at first. To put it lightly. But he’s not a bad man.”

“How far have they gotten?”

Quinn muses for a moment in silence, as they make their way up the loading dock to the ship’s deck, thinking of the many times pirates - including the Blacks - have tried to take over the ship. “Never past deck.” He smiles at the crewmen preparing to sail as he stands in the middle of all their work. “Anyone seen the Captain?”

“Last we saw him, he threw Ethan overboard.” A sailor responded courtly. He was dressed in black pants and boots, a white shirt, and a gold sash around his waist.

Quinn looks to the sailor in bewilderment, “Again? What is that, the fifth time now?”

“Seventh actually, Ethan told the joke about the donkey.”

“I told him not to do that.” He shakes his head with an exasperated sigh. “Never learns does he?”

A young man with short curly dark brown hair, brown eyes, tanned skin was soaked to the bone in water as he marched back up to the ship. He looks to Quinn.

“Don’t look at me like that, I told you not to tell that joke. You’ve brought this upon yourself.” The young man rubs his necks as he walks below deck to change. Quinn shakes his head before he turns to Remus as he claps his hands and rubs them together. “It’s harmless really.” The man groans in pain, as if to contradict Quinn. “Eh, mostly.”

Remus watches the man in pain walk below the deck with widened eyes. He looks back to Quinn and the sailor, “Does that happen often?”

Quinn tilts his head back and forth with his arms crossed, “I’d like to tell you no, to ease you, but that’d be a lie. It happens on more than one occasion, though less often than you’d think.” He chuckles under his breath, “Now come along. I think it’s time to introduce you.” He then turns behind him and just smiles. “Hello, Min-Jun.”

Remus turns to follow, and nearly jumps in surprise. Lo and behold, said Captain was standing right behind them. The Captain was a tall young Asian man, around the age of twenty-one, with an expressionless face, had short straight black hair with part bangs, fair skin, and dark eyes. He was dressed in a well-tailored black coat with a dark forest green vest on top of a white shirt, black pants, and boots. At his hip was a wide sword with a dark forest green sheath with gold accents.

“Quinn.” He says in a deep monotone. His posture was as straight at a board, his hand at his side, his left hand on the hilt of his sword. His gaze lowers to the boy beside Quinn, narrowing a fraction before he looks to Quinn. “You were at the Taverns again weren’t you?”

“I will neither confirm nor deny.”

“So that’s a yes.” A brow rises ever so slightly before it’s gone in the blink of an eye. The captain turned his head slightly to look over the boy. “Apologies for any idiotic schemes my First mate may have dragged you into. He is not the brightest, but his heart is in the right place. Usually. He has the unfortunate ailment of defying gravity. I once caught him upside down on the masts so there’s that.”

“And who put me there Min-Jun? Cause it certainly wasn’t me. I may do many schemes you might consider idiotic-”

“Because they are.” His head leans to look at Quinn in a bored expression but his eyes held amusement.

Quinn raises his eyebrows, giving a pointed look before continuing, “But I wouldn’t do that out of my own volition!’

The captain simply looks away, fully content to ignore the auburn-haired man. “I am Min-Jun Hua. The crew calls me Captain Hua. What is your name?” He looks back towards Remus.

Remus was silent during the whole exchange, internally studying the interaction closely. He was uncertain whether the Captain and First Mate actually got along or if they hated each other, however, he caught the amusement in his eyes within their banter. They did get along. It was as if they were teasing each other. Maybe they actually did consider each other siblings. He noted with his own amusement now that his initial caution has about this new Captain has diminished. They’re so very different. How did they become companions?

“My name is Remus Lupin, Captain,” Remus replies with a curt nod, as he was trying to contain his nerves and seem content in the situation. He was uncertain if it was effective or not, but he seemed to take comfort in the fact that Quinn was so relaxed with the man.

Captain Hua says nothing for a long while as he stares silently at Remus. Completely motionless for what seemed to Remus, eternity, before the Asian finally looked like he took a breath. The Captain turned his gaze to his First mate. “He’ll be under your care for the meantime. Have him bathed, dressed, and fed before you send him to bed for the night. Tomorrow he can begin.” The captain says nothing more before he looks to Remus once again. “Welcome aboard the Dragon’s Pearl.” He gives a curt nod to Remus before he walks away to resume his duties.

Remus lets out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding before looking to Quinn in surprise, “Why didn’t he ask any questions? Wouldn’t he want to know more about me before deciding to let me aboard?”

Quinn merely shakes his head before looking to Remus, “The Captain is an incredibly loyal soul, he respects privacy. If you wish to talk about your past then he will listen, and he will never mention it again without your approval.” He says with a smile. “He cares, deeply. He’d rather have you upon this ship then let you be on your own. That’s what happened to Ethan as well, he’s actually not that much older than you, Remus. He’s turning seventeen next moon.” Looking to the ship, he runs a hand upon the railing gently before continuing. “This old vessel has seen many stray boys board her, and she’s seen many of them become family. The captain only asks for loyalty, truthfulness, bravery, and devotion to family.”

Remus smiles, comforted by his words. There was always more than meets the eye. He looks around the ship in surprise, “This ship looks brand new. How long has it been sailing waters?”

“Quite a long time. Practically hundreds of years. It’s been passed down through the generations of his family.”

“That’s incredible.”

“It is.” Quinn remarks with a nod in agreement, before looking back to the boy, “Now, we’ll be embarking at dusk. You want to watch the ship be put to sea?”

The two got situated at a good viewing point for the departure after taking care of duties below deck. It felt rather strange, yet refreshing to Remus to dawn a new set of clothes. Yet his scarf stayed tied around his waist, as usual, at least he could take some part of familiarity with him. The Captain began to call out orders to the crew before he took his place behind the keel, the crew lowered the masts, catching the wind. The colors were hanged, where Remus could see the emblem on the masts and flag of the ship. A gold circle and in the center was the same creature that Remus had seen on the bow of the ship, but from the side. Only without the sphere.

What sort of creature was that? Remus couldn’t help but wonder in curiosity as he watched the emblem upon the masts and flag of the ship.

“It’s a dragon. An eastern dragon.” Quinn says in reply, with a smirk upon his face as he looked to the boy. It seems Remus accidentally spoke aloud, and for once, he was alright with that.

A loud shout echoed from a grumbling man who was making his way to The Dragon’s Pearl loading dock. Remus flinched as he recognized the voice of the drunken man from earlier, while Quinn moved defensively to shield the fourteen-year-old from sight.

“I know he’s up there! Where is he?!” The slurred words from the drunk captain all but screech out. The hooked nose man stumbled his way on board, his eyes locked onto the auburn-haired man who stood defensively in front of the former deck boy. “You!”

“Me,” Quinn answered easily with a faint smirk.

“Where’s that deck boy!?” The drunk captain practically roared into Quinn’s face. To which Quinn’s nose simply twitched at the smell of alcohol that reeked off the man.

“Behind me, though I doubt you’d be able to grab him.”

“Where’s your captin’, I ought to have a word with him. You goin’ ‘round stealin’ deck boys, ought to be ‘shamed of yeself.” The man nearly tumbled over.

“Not stealing when he willingly came aboard. If anyone’s to be ashamed it’s you for your actions.” He retorts with a roll of his eyes then simply tilts his head, “You sure you want to have a word with my captain? You can hardly hold a proper conversation in your state. He won’t take too kindly to that factor.”

“I wan’ see yer captin!”

Quinn doesn’t respond for a moment, only looks behind the drunken captain with a bored look upon his face. “Turn around mate.”

“Wha’?” The drunk captain frowns with his mouth hanging open before he turns, nearly falling down when he sees someone standing behind him. Remus couldn’t help but hold a snicker back from behind Quinn as the drunk man flinched at the mere sight of the tall and sober captain.

Captain Hua looked down at the drunk captain with an emotionless stare but his eyes held a look that screamed ‘How dare you bring your drunken arse onto my pristine and clean ship.’

“You wished to speak to me?” Was the leveled voice of Captain Hua.

“A-aye.”

“You are not qualified to speak to me.”

The drunk captain staggered at the impassive tone. His face grew red. “Ye think you’re bet’er than me?”

“To ask that question offends me.” Captain Hua raised a brow.

“Where’s ye captin’s hat?”

“I don’t need one, I do not need to parade my status on my own ship, nor to ensure the respect of my own crew. They know who I am.” The Captain looked to his First mate. “Please escort this, man back to his ship.” Calling the drunk captain a man was incredibly respectful. Remus thought, truly Captain Hua had a class that was, unfortunately, being wasted upon this drunkard. But then again, Captain Hua didn’t acknowledge him as a Captain either.

“That’d be Captain Barclay ta ye.” He shrugs the hand that grips his arm.

“No. I think the Captain is right. Mr. Barclay.” Quinn contradicts with a smile, “Now, allow me to escort you back to your ship. I’m sure you embark soon.”

“Not without that boy.” The drunk captain glared at the boy.

Captain Hua looked at the drunkard, then at the boy. “First Mate Sandoval, please step aside.” The drunk captain’s eyes widen at the title.

Quinn ignores the surprised look upon the drunkard’s face and instead looks to Remus. Giving him a small smile of comfort and a look that says ‘Trust us. You’ll be alright.’ Then looks back to his Captain, and with a nod, he steps aside.

Captain Hua looked to the drunk man. “You can take this child to your ship, if you answer one question. If you answer correctly, you’re free to take him. If not,” His dark eyes narrowed, his left hand gripped the hilt of his sword, this sword was red compared to the first one Remus had seen. It was sheathed in a red case with gold accents. A strong pulse emitted from the sword as the pulse rippled through the ship. The ropes freed themselves from their knots, moving very much like serpents slithering up trees.

The crew has stopped working and watched openly. “I will throw you overboard.”

The drunk man didn’t notice the pulse of gold energy, nor did he notice the ropes begin to move on their own. Remus’ young eyes watched in amazement at Captain Hua, who’s sheer presence became overpowering, his aura seeming to infect the ship. Stupidly, the drunkard agreed.

“What is the child’s name?”

“...” The drunkard frowned, Remus could practically see the mental strain on the man’s face. His brain was too far gone from the rum. “... Bernard.”

Captain Hua did not look impressed. Not at all. He simply raised a brow before he looked to Remus to correct the man’s answer.

Remus simply smiles and shakes his head. “Wrong.”

What happened next happened rather quickly, it was really a blur to be completely honest. Captain Hua wordlessly grabbed the drunkard by the collar of his shirt, lifted him off the ground and proceeded to walk, not in any hurry, effortlessly to the side of the ship, and threw the man overboard with ease. Remus’ jaw dropped a bit.

“Why didn’t you just use the ropes?” Remus couldn’t help but ask in curiosity.

Captain Hua merely gazed down at the swimming crewmembers from the drunk captain’s ship who threw themselves overboard to ensure the man didn’t drown. “And deprive myself of the pleasure of doing it myself? Never.” Captain Hua’s stoic face gave a smirk in delight. “I would never disgrace The Dragon’s Pearl to so much as even touch that drunk. It was painful to watch an alcoholic parade around with a captain’s hat and acting like a child throwing a temper tantrum.”

“... How did you know he didn’t know my name?”

Captain Hua looked down at Remus. “I have two answers. One; most people who make port hardly ever ask for a deck-boys name.” The captain began to walk away from the railing, Remus followed. “Two; even if by the off chance he did know your name, he would not have the sentimentality, nor the intellectual capacity to remember your name, especially while drunk.” He turned to look at Remus. “I would not have made that wager had I believed for a second he would be able to say your name. Not when he preferred to think with an organ that he did not have instead of his brain. Not to mention your name is unusual. I am not one to gamble. Especially with someone’s life.”

Remus pauses for a moment taking in the Captain’s words, before asking the question he was truly reluctant to hear. “... What if he did say my name?”

Captain Hua looked at Remus for a long time before he looked away to the setting sun. “Then he would have won.” Captain Hua looked back to Remus. “It may seem cruel, but I will not lie to you, Remus. I do not break my word.” Captain Hua looked to the sunset once more. “I would have just challenged him to a duel if that was the case. The man couldn’t even walk straight let alone hold a sword.” Without another word, he walked away.

Remus stood silently as he watched the Captain walk away, and looked out to the sunset once he was out of view. There was no relief of tension like he had initially anticipated when he first heard the words of the wager, as if he already knew he was safe. How exactly he determined that conclusion, he had no clue. But in his heart, he knew that was the case.

He watched the shoreline of the port town he had always known, grow smaller and smaller with every glide of the ship, until it vanished from view- it was the start of a new life. A new chapter. Like each morning rise and evening set of the sun upon the sea.

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#wolfstar #remus lupin #sirius black #remus x sirius #quinn sandoval #captain hua #min-jun hua #asunshinepuff oc #epithymiahuaoc #our ocs #pirate captian #pirate and mermaid au #cw drunken #secrets of the darkened seas

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