#i should have a tag for my dad's random commentary

[angelsdean]

my dad, already knowing abt cas's confession in s15, watching deancas hug goodbye in 11x23 as dean is about to go off to sacrifice himself: is he going to say he loves him here?

me: no, that's in season 15 (i had literally just recapped all of s15 for him in the commercial break bc he wanted to know how it ends / if they ever kill god. he does not like chuck btw but thinks amara is "cool")

my dad: ok but what he can't tell him he loves him now? dean's about to die.

me: yea but no (internally: but fair point. however, repressed cas<3)

[carmyberzattosjournal]

Entry 21: A Crowbar Called Love

GIF Credit: @carmen-berzattos

Bearblr Promptober Day 21: Drunk Confession

Summary: Carmy's girlfriend (who he calls Darling) drunkenly confesses something that sends him into a tizzy; that she wants to have his kids.

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of trauma, self-doubt, evolving Dad!Carmy, maybe the start of a breeding kink(?), fem reader/generic lass who is a trauma surgeon, she/her pronouns. (822 words)

Notes: All journal entries will be titled as such and tagged with #cb journal.

Thank you for reading. Thank you to @carmenberzattosgf for putting together this prompt list. Sideblog for commentary and yapping: @m-z-shoroi

Also, if random letters or words are black/white instead of the colors they should be, that's Tumblr being dumb, I've been fighting it for days.

21 Oct 2024

She said she wants to have my babies, and I honestly don't know what in the fuck to do with myself.

How did I get here?

What the fuck did I do to earn that?

What?

How?

I'm a fucking disaster, why the fuck would anyone think I'd make a not-shitty dad?

And she said it in front of Richie and Nat. That asshole is never gonna let me hear the end of it. This is what I get for taking my eyes off the cider for five minutes. Richie probably didn’t even fucking measure before spiking it.

Fuck. My. Life.

I have no business having kids, I'm just gonna end up like ma! No! No! Abso-fucking-lutely not!

Okay, yes, they'd be cute, but this is a terrible idea!

I can’t stop fucking thinking about this. The adoration in her eyes, the way she whispered it into my mouth, the way she pulled my hair and repeated it—whined it—until my brain checked into reality in a confused state. Carmen, I wanna start a family with you. I love you so much. I want babies. Carmy… Carmy, please? Please, can we talk about kids?

It’s the next morning, and I woke up an hour before my alarm, invaded, besieged, strangled by thoughts of cradling her belly, of feeling little kicks against my palm through her soft, supple skin. The thought of baby shoes while I stared at my own, hand trembling as I dragged it through my hair and tried to recompress so I could make it through a workday. What was more was that I couldn’t stop fucking thinking about how wonderful of a mother she’d make. She’d be sweet, kind, understanding, protective, a great advocate, teacher, counselor. I thought of being home with a kid in my arms. Nat’s daughter is so precious, so innocent, so pure. I could have one. A few. And I could do better than ma or dad did.

I wanted to do better than ma and dad did.

I wandered back into the bedroom, leaned against the doorframe and just watched Darling snuggled up in bed, her face buried in my t-shirt, a cute little croissant under the covers. There existed in my mind, sometime before then—couldn’t figure out exactly when it changed—this looming understanding of this arrangement being temporary. This relationship was a ticking clock, a sword dangling over my head by a horsehair, and in all likelihood, I was going to fuck up, and she was going to leave. It seemed like an inevitability. But permanence, comfort, routine, it crept up on me. Could I imagine an existence without Darling? Did a future without her even exist? Did I allow myself to love her so completely, so deeply, that my forever was staked in the ground with her?

Two kids. And a dog. Our own house. It’d be nice if one of them liked cooking, but I wasn’t going to be upset if they wanted to try something else. I’d support them trying new things. I’d reduce my hours at The Bear, too, so I could be around to hug them and read them bedtime stories. My vision abruptly blurred. Droplet of warmth fell from my eyelashes and drew a streak down my face.

Of course, I was fucking crying again.

Ever love someone so much that it hurt? That the love embedded itself so deep into you that it burrowed roots in the same places that all your fucking trauma lived? That it crumbled and frayed the armor of bitterness, apathy, hatred, and anger you’d been using to hold yourself together against the assault of being alive and being so many things the world didn’t like—short, sensitive, warm, caring, quiet, shy? For your curly hair, for your features, for your weird fucking quirks and habits? The world stabbed you in the fucking kidneys for daring to exist, and you walled off yourself behind protective mechanisms to stop the knives going any deeper than they already had, from piercing the softest parts of you; and out of nowhere, this little thing called love shows up as a crowbar and jams under that armor with no ceremony and certainly no warning. It fucking hurts at first. It hurts like you can’t fucking believe or imagine, and it scares the shit out of you because if that armor comes off, you feel like you’ll die, but eventually? Eventually, the armor starts crumbling away, and you feel the saccharine mercy of love in all the places that the armor hurt. Yeah, you thought your trauma was the thing that inflicted agony all these years? Your fucking armor wore chasms in you all the same.

This wasn’t a contest, baby girl, but you win. I surrender. I love you. I love you so much that it hurts, and I can’t get enough of it. So, yeah. Yeah, we can talk about kids.

[hello-eeveev]

tagged by @quinn-of-aebradore (and I was tagged in a very similar thing by @spottedenchants a bit ago but didn’t get around to it before this, so I hope you don’t mind me combining them!) thank you :D

Last song I listened to: “Sometime We’ll Understand” from the Lamb of God Easter oratorio by Rob Gardner. With the season and driving by a bunch of churches with Easter signs, I got real nostalgic for Easter music because there are so many great pieces. And Lamb of God holds a lot of memories for me because my dad was the lead cellist for the local production for several years, and I even got to take part one year. And it is just soooo musically tasty and I was just filled with energy listening to it yesterday. The CHOIR, the SOLOISTS, the SYMPHONY ORCHESTRA!!! If you remember me expressing my love for French horns a few weeks ago, Lamb of God played no small part in establishing this opinion. If you don’t mind Christian hymns, I highly recommend checking it out, and all of Rob Gardner’s work because he is truly one of the goats.

Last book I read: I’ve kinda started and stopped a few books recently, not for any particular reason just… idk. So instead I’m gonna plug a fic I’ve been keeping up with that published its final chapter last night: Judgement & Justice! It is such a fascinating and engaging work that explores the details of legally condemning Ikithon, the ways that the law can fail anyone, how even doing something you believe is right can be incredibly traumatizing. As one of the tags says, “the mundane horrors of the criminal justice system”. So good. I highly recommend.

Last film I watched: ummmm, yesterday I saw like 30 minutes of Wish after the school field trip bc the teacher was so kind and said, “nope. interpreters are out of commission. we’re watching a movie.” The music didn’t appeal to me too much, which sucks bc I LOVE Ariana DeBose’s voice. But I will say that the special effect art was sick and some of the character designs are cute!

Last TV series: uhhhh idk I watch a lot of YouTube. Drawfee, Zelda randomizers, that kinda stuff. and critrole obv lol :)

Last thing I googled: “peafowl”. I love birds and will infodump about them and I wanted to show my coworker how different peahens are to peacocks, and most people have no idea they’re called anything but peacocks.

Last thing I ate: ritz crackers and nutella. It’s a combination I wouldn’t have put together of my own accord, but in eighth grade, my friend brought some into history class and convinced me to try it and I’ve been sold ever since.

Sweet, savory, or spicy: Yes. However, savory and spicy go well together, but sweet doesn’t go with either. I have a massive sweet tooth and my mom raised me to have high standards for desserts, so when I have sweets, I want them to be to my taste. I like spicy food and I have a decent spice tolerance. It used to be higher but either adulthood or my anxiety meds reduced it rip :’(

Amount of sleep: ummmm about 6 hours? I should probably be getting more, but unfortunately sleep is boring.

Currently reading: The Thief by Megan Whalen Turner. I’m about halfway through, and it’s pretty enjoyable, but I hear it’s got a good twist later on so I’m excited.

currently obsessed with: you know it’s shadowgast lol. but more specifically I’m still in my How to Rest brainrot. I have a break next week, so I want to get the chapter 6 director’s commentary done and start working on the coda fic bc hnnngggghgg soft wizards.

I’m also obsessed with my cat. She’s turning 6 on Sunday and she’s been so snuggly lately! Look at her!!!

I always feel so awkward about tagging bc I never know who’s already been tagged, so if you want to do this, you are fully allowed to say that I tagged you 💕

[drabbles-mc]

And 12,20,23,24 and 29 for my crush Diego

An ask for Diego??? I could cry right now omg 🥺💖

12.) Sexuality HC: Omg my little Ladies' Man. Prettiest boy on the planet. All charm all day long. But I just know that he is a bundle of nervousness underneath it all. (The way I talk about this character like I didn't make him 😂) But I mean, hey, he was committed enough to getting the girl that he pretty much cost himself his job over it. 😂 He's just so full of love. The way I swoon just thinking about him.

20.) A weird headcanon: I think I've mentioned before that Diego should not be trusted in the kitchen alone. And it's true. The man can't cook worth a damn bless his entire soul. He is great at sitting on the other side of the counter, looking pretty, and providing commentary while someone else does the cooking. I feel like this is more random than weird but in my head he is also very good at soccer. Like he plays with other guys in the CNP and is a force to be reckoned with. He's constantly getting ragged on by other officers for taking his shirt off when he gets sweaty but honestly who can blame him? Not me. 😂😌

23.) Future headcanon: The way that @ashlingnarcos put this idea in my head about he and reader when they eventually, inevitably hit the point in their relationship when they talk about having kids. Because Diego is so good with kids. His nieces and nephews are enamored with him. And she's good with kids, although a little more tentative about it, quieter about it than he is. And neither of them want to bring it up to the other because they don't want to make things weird or uncomfortable or god forbid they're reading the situation wrong and everything starts to go sideways. Because they've both been through so much. And his family is just stuck watching these two pine and dance around this thing that they are so clearly cut out for. God. I'm banging my fists on the walls I love them so much.

24.) What do you think is a secret that they have never told anyone?: I think so much about Diego's life pre-CNP. What got him to join. And I don't think that it's something that he talks to anyone about. I've been thinking about putting it in a future installment of Tagging Out, or one of the other parts of the Diegoverse. But I think that it's very much something he keeps to himself. Not because he doesn't trust people to know, but because it's something emotional and personal.

29.) How do you think they would be as a parent?: Oops the way I didn't read ahead and semi-answered this in a previous question. 😂 But I think that he would be a great dad. He'd be loving, and goofy, and he'd make a mess any time there was baby food involved, but he would absolutely step up to the fucking plate with no hesitation. He'd 110% have one of those things that let's you strap the baby to your chest. Catch him going on morning jogs with that. He would love being a parent. I'm going to bed with these soft thoughts in mind.

The way I'm so weak for this fictional man. I truly do love him so much. 🥰🥰🥰

Send me a character and some numbers!

[cotccotc]

SKZ REACT to...

 ✰ you coming out PART 2 !!

part of my eight as fate event !! ( requested by anon ♡ )

genre/s: ot8 reaction headcanon, gn reader, platonic, fluff & humor

wc: ~1.3k

warning/s: descriptions of coming out as non-binary, brief mentions of gender dysphoria, my dumb commentary once again (hehe), these are just my opinions and ideas !!

a/n: i reference the first version of this reaction a few times and i recommend reading it first !! i got some really sweet responses to the original so i hope y’all like this one too :) OH ALSO i should mention that i decided to make it platonic since i found that easier and more natural to write.

✰ CHAN

i feel like even if he already knows a bunch about gender identity, non-binary and genderqueer people, dysphoria, pronouns, etc. he would definitely enjoy you giving him a full rundown on it !! and specifically what your interpretation is and how you identify

BEST LISTENER EVER !!!

do you remember that vlive where felix is talking and chan’s just sitting back and looking at felix with immense amounts of love in his eyes? yeah…

he’d be so. incredibly. proud. of you.

idk why the chan portions of these reactions have both been super sappy but anyways-

he’d be very dedicated to using your preferred pronouns and finding new ways to compliment you !!!

his google search history would most definitely include “genderless adjectives” and “enby dad jokes” and he’d keep a running list on his phone

chan: “what do you say when your non-binary friend is sad?”

you: [dead silence]

chan: “their, their....” [giggles]

KSDFJ

✰ MINHO

my first thought is that he’d be the type to ask for your new pronouns and immediately use them in a sentence.

for instance, say your new pronouns were xe/xem. he’d immediately say, “well, i’m very proud of my y/n, and i love xem very much.”

so then i’d start crying in the background.. blah blah blah omniscient narrator struggles :’)

i can’t see him being anything but casual and accepting !!

if you want to talk about things, he’ll most definitely let you, but if you don’t want to he won’t push.

but regardless, he just wants you to know he supports you in whatever way he can.

would also politely correct people if they misgender you in public !!! he wants you to feel safe !!!!!

i saw him as a wingman in the other reaction but in this context he’d definitely serve as your personal information pamphlet for people who you might not know too well.

random person: “what exactly does that mean?”

you: “it-”

minho: “WELL ACTUALLY-”

✰ CHANGBIN

just like in the first version, he’d get pretty emotional !!

i think he would really sympathize with you even though he can’t fully understand what you had to deal with externally or emotionally.

honestly that would probably make him even MORE emotional.

the fact that he can’t fully relate to those complex feelings would really tug at his heartstrings as he listens to you speak. he really wishes he could understand your struggles more, and maybe even take on the burden for you.

but let’s get less emo, shall we?

ok picture something with me bestie:

first, he casually refers to you using your new pronouns in a group conversation.

next, after the topic changes in the conversation, you look at him while the others continue talking.

this mf WINKS and flashes you the silliest smirk

you let out a little chuckle and you both continue on in the conversation

[end scene]

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH anyways-

✰ HYUNJIN

i feel like he might question his own gender identity a little as well sometimes, especially due to what people say online (like calling him “pretty”, the edits some people make, praising him for breaking stereotypes, etc.)

so, he probably understands a bit deeper than some of the other members might.

in that same vein, i think it might make him a little bit emotional to hear your story !!

over the years, i think it’s plain to see that he’s become more comfortable with expressing his more feminine attributes, which has always comforted you as his friend.

he understands the feeling of being uncomfortable with the gender roles one is expected to follow, so he empathizes with you.

in terms of his actual first reaction, i think it would be pretty similar to what i suggested in the other version of this.

(my bias is showing but oH MY GOSH I STILL THINK THIS WOULD BE SO CUTE-)

“woo~” *insert little jazz hands here*

…

[cries] anyways-

you feel really comfortable coming to him with this, and you’re happy when you do !!

✰ JISUNG

maybe it’s because i’ve seen tweets about it, but i feel like this dude knows everything there is to know about modern gender identity topics and neopronouns and stuff

after the initial awkwardness of the conversation (and a big supportive hug ofc) he’d be stoked to talk about it !!

would ask for your pronouns right away !!! he might also do the thing where he uses them in a sentence.

“y/n !!! ze’s so cool !!!!!!!”

i think if he saw someone misgender you (by accident) he wouldn’t correct them for you out of in-the-moment nerves, but he’d be very proud of you if you do it yourself !!

might buy you a snack afterward tbh

but if HE ever misgenders you OHHHHH goodness gracious

HE WOULD FEEL SOOO BAD AH

EVEN IF IT’S LIKE.. THE NEXT DAY

he’d get so very embarrassed and apologetic SDKFJ you’d have to really assure him that it’s not that big of a deal since he’s still adjusting to things, but he’d still feel like he has to make it up to you in some way

would probably buy you snacks again LMAO

✰ FELIX

i think he would be really excited !!

we know felix really loves and is passionate about androgynous/genderless forms of expression, especially in regard to appearance, so he’d probably really enjoy talking about gender and stereotypes with you !!

(if you’re comfy with it, ofc)

honestly, felix would be really encouraging and would help you gain more confidence !!!!!

if you ever feel like trying out a new look, he’d be like “OK BESTIE LET’S GO SHOPPING”

tbh he’d probably try it out with you !! or if you hang out often, he’d probably subconsciously start finding inspiration in your style and adopt it a bit himself

on days where you feel a bit down for whatever reason, especially in regard to dysphoria, his first instinct would be to cheer you up by reminding you how unique and cool you are.

and it’s not just because you’re nonbinary but also because you’re just a super cool person !!!!!!!!!! and i think so too !!!!!!!!!!!! never forget it !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so overall, i feel like felix wouldn’t be very hard to come out to once you get over your initial nerves, and the end result would be super fun :D

✰ SEUNGMIN

i think his initial reaction would be pretty similar to chan’s !!

he also seems like the type to be super, super diligent with adjusting to whatever pronouns you feel comfortable using or words you’re okay with him using to refer to you.

(maybe it’s because we know he was a good student and he’s diligent with practicing his english. training his brain to correct itself would be like studying for him lol)

for example, instead of calling you “pretty” or “handsome,” he might even try simply pointing out a part of your appearance that he thinks looks especially great !! something like your eyes, your hair, your outfit, etc.

your hair looks great today, btw. anyways-

aside from that, i think he would just try to be as courteous as possible without making a big deal out of things.

and if he ever slips up with your pronouns, descriptors, etc, he’d be super quick to apologize and correct himself before keeping the conversation going like normal !!

there’s just generally a lot of mutual respect all around :)

✰ JEONGIN

this is somewhat similar to my other version of this reaction, but i think he’d just be really intrigued and a little shocked

IDK WHY I KEEP THINKING HIS ABILITY TO GAUGE THESE THINGS IS SO BAD DKFJ every time i think about someone coming out to him i just can’t help but picture him being like “reaLLY??? since WHEN”

still, something deep within my soul is telling me that jeongin would truly think you’re the coolest person on the planet.

being as he can’t personally relate to this, jeongin would be pretty psyched to hear about your journey to finding out !! kinda the opposite reaction to changbin lol

honestly he’d be a super good listener !!!!

he’d hear you out for however long you explain things to him, and if you ever get a bit emotional, he might smile at you or reach out to hold your hand :’) or both :’’’’’)

then, when you tell him your preferred pronouns he’s like “oH okay !! coOL !!!” lmao

so, he understands the concept and is super happy for you but he just didn’t really expect it !!

tags: @stayndays​, @hanniiesuckle17​, @leggomylino​, @freckledberries​,@kisskissbanggang​, @mr-jisung-main​, @childofthecosmos​,@kpopscape​, @skzwriternet​, @hyunsins​, @sleepylixie​, @sunshine-skz​, @vera-liscious​, @moonlit-lixie​, @thatrandomoneinthecorner​, @sunshine-skz​ ( join my tag list !! )

©️ cotccotc 2021 ~ all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.

[theroguequeenaniki]

Questions 2009 -> 2021

This is from my Facebook. It popped up on my memories page thing. I originally answered this in 2009 when I was 15, it’s now 2021 & and I am 27, so I’m gonna do it again. Leaving the original answers. Original answers will be italicized. Commentary on the original answers in parentheses & crossed out? Lol. (I’m not gonna tag anyone, but, like, I guess if you want to answer these random questions from Facebook 12 years ago, go ahead lol) 

Questions

Can you fill this out without lying? You've been tagged, so now you need to answer all the questions HONESTLY. At the end, choose people to tag. Don't forget to tag me so I can see your answers! To do this, copy this entire message, then go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, delete my answers, and type yours. Easy! Next, tag people that you think may enjoy this (in the right hand corner of the app). Click publish (at the bottom). Have fun! :) 1.What was the last thing you put in your mouth? My cup with my Big Red in it The straw to my Kate Spade tumbler to drink my HEB Cola Lol.

2.Where was your profile picture taken? I got it off the internet. it's a random anime girl. My bedroom. 3.Can you play Guitar Hero? Never played it. Probably wouldn't be good at it. Not to good at video games. But I am good at Mario Cart, both 64 and the Wii. plus I'm good at some Sonic games. Still never played it. Idk if I’m any good at Mario Cart or the Sonic games anymore, I haven’t played either in years lol

4.Name someone who made you laugh today? Doctor Who TikTok. My cats.

5.How late did you stay up last night and why? Umm, probably about 10:00 cause it took me forevor to get into bed. Uh..Past 4am. Lol. B/c my sleep schedule is fucked. I was in bed by 3am though, but I was playing games & watching TikToks on my phone. Lol.

6.If you could move somewhere else, would you? Yes. I'd move to either New York or Sweden. I don’t know. Part of me says yes. But part of me says no..b/c even though Texas has it’s faults (a LOT of them), I cannot imagine living anywhere else long-term..

7. Ever been kissed under fireworks? HAHA. Yeah right. I've never even been kissed! Still nope. I have been kissed though. He just didn’t kiss me under the fireworks the one NYE we spent together...

8. Which of your friends lives closest to you? Um, I think R, but D might also. D is accross Stasney from me and R is a couple blocks down (I don’t talk to these people much anymore & I’m not going to share their names on Tumblr) Uh. I think Maybe Raven? B/c they’re the only one who lives in the same city still. But, Sarah might technically be closer distance wise? Hold on. Ok, yeah, Sarah’s closer, even though she doesn’t live in this city anymore.

9. Do you believe exes can be friends? It all depends on the situation.(I totally stold M's answer but it's true) (I don’t talk to this person anymore & I’m not gonna share their name on Tumblr) I mean, yeah. Two of my best friends are each others exes and they’re still friends. I haven’t stayed friend with my ex, but, uh, he ghosted me so? Lol.

10. How do you feel about Dr. Pepper? I love it. I still love it. Lol.

11. When was the last time you cried really hard? I can't remember. I don't think it was that long ago, I had a light cry on Saturday, but I don't remember the last time I cried really hard. When we got back from our trip in July. Had a full on breakdown that night. Overheated all weekend. Overwhelmed. Anxiety. It was not a very good vacation..I cry a lot though.

12. Who took your profile picture? I got it off of google. I did. 

13. Who was the last person you took a picture of? Umm, either myself, or one of my family members. Aside from myself. I think my dad, on his phone, b/c there was a cicada on his shoulder and he wanted to ask the family group chat if he could keep it. Lol. I take a LOT of pictures of cats though. Lol.

14. Was yesterday better than today? Hail yes! To much drama today! And I couldn't avoid it cause I was in the middle of it! (Oof, what drama was 15 yo Linda dealing with that she couldn’t avoid? Lol. I mean, I guess, Sophomore year was a bit full of drama lol) Anyway, I mean, they were pretty much the same. One wasn’t better than the other. One wasn’t worse than the other.

15. Can you live a day without TV? yeah. Now Music there is something I can't live without! Yep, Do it almost everyday. Sentiments about music remain the same. Lol.

16. Are you upset about anything? Yes. I'm annoyed about something and it's making me upset. (I assume this has something to do with the the drama mentioned earlier lol) Always. Anxiety & depression are a bitch. My rooms a mess & I can’t get myself to clean it. My shelves are still a mess.

17. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? yeah. though i havent really had one yet. I mean, yeah. Even though I haven’t had one last, aside from friendships, but they’re worth it. 

18. Are you a bad influence? I hope not. If so, let me know.(again I took M's answer but it's true) Probably. Idk. Lol.

19. Night out or night in? Depends on what's going on and how I feel about it. Night in usually. I do like going out sometimes, but, like, to dinner. Maybe a movie or a show. But, you know, we’ve been in a panini press, the only thing I’ve been comfortable doing is going to dinner (fully vaxxed & masked). But I also prefer staying home anyway. (Like I usually just go to dinner with my family lol)

20. What items could you not go without during the day? my computer. my book. my journal and a pen. My phone. My journal (b/c I write in it every night, as a diary, 14yo Linda wrote stories). Uh. I didn’t take food or drinks into account in the og, so I won’t in those. But, yeah. My phone & journal. I can go a day without my laptop if I need to. (Went the whole trip in July without pulling it out, though maybe that’s not a good example since my anxiety on that trip was so high..) I want to say a book, but I’ve been in a massive reading slump so...I wish I read as much as 15yo Linda did..

21. Who was the last person you visited in the hospital? I don't remember. I think it was myself.(if you want to know, ask me in person) I honestly don’t know. I don’t remember the last time I was in a hospital. 

22. What does the last text message in your inbox say? "Mrbobbybones:  wish ted would finally meet their mother already. geez. get to it. However, I see myself in that character more and more each episode." yeah. That's what it says. It's from Twitter. (Huh? and I can’t even go check b/c my inbox doesn’t go back to 2009 on Twitter?? (I haven’t had my account that long) Wait wait wait just remembered I used to get tweets to my phone as text messages lol)

Facebook messenger: “ Cool” From our group chat. Lol.

From actual text messages on my phone: “ heeey! Just put up the Tuesday PDS just for you  it’s a big one.” From Phillip Defranco’s text line Lol.

23. How do you feel about your life right now? I'm loving and hating it. but hey nobody gets out alive right? Uh..I mean. I’m alive. I have WiFi. Food. Family. I haven’t seen my friends in 2 years. (Minus Alex, b/c they were here in July to cat/house sit, but I saw them for like, one night..) There’s a lot that could be better. A lot that could be worse. 

24. Do you hate anyone? yes!!! Oof. I mean, kinda.

25. If we were to look in your Facebook Inbox, what would we find? some random conversations. most of my convos on her though have been in chat or through comments. Facebook Inbox is now Facebook Messenger. So you’ll find all my Facebook Messenger convos. Mostly our group chat. And side group chats for secret planning (birthdays & stuff). Plus other chats? Lol.

26. Say you were given a drug test right now, would you pass? I better! (excuse me miss 15yo Linda you absolutely could have passed a drug test you ALSO didn’t drink or smoke or take any drugs lol) Yeah. Absolutely. I don’t drink or smoke or take any drugs so, yeah? Lol.

27. Has anyone ever called you perfect before? 

Yes. But I can't remember when... Yeah. Pretty sure. 

28. What song is stuck in your head? Gee by SNSD(Girls Generation) They're Korean. A few My Chemical Romance songs

29. Someone knocks on your window at 2:00 a.m., who do you want it to be? EDWARD CULLEN! Joke! lol. No I don't know. If it was Edward, I'd call the cops. whoever it is though better have an explaination or they are gonna get hit in the head with my Book of Shadows. (Maybe I wouldn’t mind Edward at my window though? Lol.) Uh. My friends? Lol. Idk if I want anyone knocking on my window at 2am.

30.Wanna have grandkids before you’re 50? I don't know....... Uh. No? Idk. Most likely not gonna happen. 

31. Name something you have to do tomorrow? I can't think of anything right now... Eat. Should probably clean my room.

32. Do you think too much or too little? Way to much! lol. Way way way too much

33. Do you smile a lot? i try to. I think I do. I get told that alot in Theater...

I think so

[iruludavare]

Things I like my RP partners to know.

I like to be called: Jessica or Jess-- either is fine.

One thing you should know about me: I’m currently undertaking a PhD in biomedical science at the moment, and have to spend a lot of my time during weekdays in the lab doing Stuff, so I may not be able to get back to ooc conversations, dash commentary or threads within a short amount of time. I will usually let you know when a hectic period is coming up that might impact on replies to threads, though. And that’s only because any writing I do is during my free time, which I don’t get a lot of... so more work shortens down that already Tiny Window. I’m also chronically ill-- I have endometriosis. And while I’m on hormone therapy to control my symptoms, I still unfortunately still get at least one(1) really bad migraine once a month that can knock me out for around 1-3 days depending on if it responds to medication. 

One thing you should know about RPing with my character(s): For Serena in particular, she follows the theory that Looker is the gen 6 protagonists’ father. This does have a big impact on her character and how she develops during and after her journey in Kalos. However, if that conflicts with your character or you write Looker/Emma/Nanu/Anabel and you don’t vibe with it? I’m absolutely down for changing it to her dad being some random interpol agent for our interactions. Just shoot me a message and it’s all good-- no worries.

Oh also, because I know I have a fair few non-rp blogs following-- you guys are absolutely free to send in asks and all that jazz! 

First language: English

Age range: under 13  |  14–17 | 18–22 | 23–25 | 26–29 | 30+ | 40+ | 70+

Am I okay with NSFW?: yes | no | some nsfw (in general. Depends on the mun, usually a no due to past experiences.)

My favourite/most common thing to rp is: angst | fluff | smut | crack | action | plots | AUs | Violence | Darker themes |

Canon Character RP Friendly?: yes | no |

RP blog: does contain ooc posts (usually to update on what was mentioned above) | doesn’t contain ooc posts | occasionally contains ooc

Tagged by:  @pieman1112 {thank you!}

[kellykadesperate]

this is so random but do you have any bts comments on both sides of the moon? i'd love to hear your thoughts or any background stuff about it? x

awww this is so sweet, here’s some commentary/thoughts:

the title is inspired by the amazing celeste’s song both sides of the moon. her voice is just liquid gold and the words stuck out as fitting to an affair/betrayal fic

the name penny came directly from the fact that my cousin who was pregnant at that time was going to go for that name and i love adding little personal touches to things to look back on. she didn’t pick the name in the end but it’s cute to look back on

i toyed with the idea of having jack still alive as well and having robert feel a lot of conflicting emotions about how much his dad should know about his affair with aaron. but in the end, i liked vic and sarah tag team living together so i went with that

there were a few scenes i was adamant on including: the layby first kiss and robert revealing all at aaron’s flat. either else literally just came to me chapter by chapter

chrissie was not going to be in it at all! i was going to have the other person robert was involved with be leyla or just another random guy but i wanted to ground it in characters that were similar. and it worked out because i really liked the whole bernice/leyla/liam parallel i could draw on

it was literally meant to be like 20 chapters! no more!! it very much snowballed

the reveal was initially going to be because robert discovered that aaron had agreed to speed up the wedding in time for penny to be born so they would look more serious about each other and get to apply for custody. so robert was going to walk in on aaron in his wedding suit .... but it seemed too much so i settled on something a little less messy

the same goes for the fact that i didn’t initially plan on aaron planning on revealing all/it being too late/missing the chance to thing. but i think it deffo added a layer of tragedy to the whole reveal and made aaron look a little less like a dick!

nathan was always going to be a Nice Guy but i did have plans for him to have an argument with aaron and basically go out and kiss someone else only to admit it later before sonny’s rushed to hospital. and then robert be angry that aaron didn’t see it as a clear way out/excuse to end things. but i almost didn’t want to taint the niceness of nathan, because there are people that way and painting him as a villain would have been way too easy

the way the chapters follow the ‘a ...’ pattern was a complete coincidence up until like the fourth chapter and then i decided to roll with it

i toyed with the idea of finishing the fic with their wedding but i literally find reading about wedding days, as in the actual speech bits, really really boring so i decided the proposal ending would have been better

that’s all i can think of right now, thank you for the interest after all this time :)

[katieskarlette]

Tag Index - Warcraft Dragons

[Miscellaneous]  [General Warcraft]  [Dragons]  [Non-Dragon Characters]

Warcraft Dragons

#rambling about dragons again -- Kind of a catch-all tag for Warcraft dragon discussion, from short jokes to longer meta posts

#draconic aging and #draconic breeding -- These tags cover discussion of and speculation on these aspects of dragon lore.

#there’s absolutely nothing wrong with RPing as a dragon -- The (unnecessarily long) tag says it all.

The Black Dragonflight

The Black Dragonflight – In general / misc.

Wrathion – The Black Prince is my favorite, so this is a huge tag full of discussion, screenshots, meta and general squeeing.  In addition to his main tag there are also:

Wrathion pictures -- Artwork featuring Wrathion

wrathywhelp -- Art or text focused on Wrathion as an adorable whelp

Aaron Phillips -- Wrathion's voice actor

BFF princes -- Posts focusing on Wrathion's friendship with Anduin

A boy and his whelp -- Anduin and dragon-form Wrathion

AWOL whelp -- Posts lamenting the scarcity of Wrathion between MoP and Dragonflight

Left and Right -- His faithful bodyguards

wrathidad -- Posts about the quest line with Wrathion and the time-lost whelps that was in Legion alpha but removed before launch

Game of Obsidian Thrones -- Posts about the Wrathion vs. Sabellian conflict in Dragonflight

Fahrad is another of my favorites, and in my headcanon he’s Wrathion’s biological father.  See also #number one dad Fahrad and #actual dad Fahrad.  (I have an alt named Fahradion who runs around Azeroth having #au fahrad adventures.)

Let’s not forget Wrathion’s mother, Nyxondra!  (See also the screenshots of #au nyxondra adventures.)

Or his Auntie Onyxia!  Her human guise is usually tagged as both Onyxia and Katrana Prestor.  (See also #au onyxia adventures.)

Everyone’s favorite draconic mad scientist, Nefarian, has his own tag.  (See also #au romathion adventures, the screenshot series featuring my uncorrupted version of him.  Oh, and I ship him with Rheastrasza.  I know it seems random, but read my fics.)

Obsidia – Another one of Deathwing’s daughters, who is sort of an original character and sort of canon.  Long story.

There is, of course, a tag for Deathwing, as well as a Neltharion tag for his pre-corruption self.  Ditto for Sintharia a.k.a. Sinestra.

The Ebonhorn tag should cover everything about the Highmountain Spiritwalker, while his dragon form is usually tagged as both Ebonhorn and Ebyssian.  (See also #au ebyssian adventures.)

Sabellian is back from Outland with a less tacky outfit, competing with his nephew for the Obsidian Throne.

The rest of the family:  Atramedes ~ Darkblaze ~ Emberstrife ~ Kalaran (a.k.a. Velarok) ~ Myzerian ~ Nalice ~ Sartharion ~ Searinox ~ Serinar ~ Teremus

Oh, and Zardeth is totally a black dragon and no one can convince me otherwise.

Wrath of Sabellian – Reblogs, commentary, and fanart related to the amazing, novel-length fanfic epic by Yulon about Sabellian and Wrathion.

The Blue Dragonflight

Blue Dragonflight (general/misc)

Malygos

Sindragosa

Kalecgos 

Senegos, Stellagosa, and Emmigosa

Tarecgosa

My original character Ceruleagosa

The Bronze Dragonflight

Bronze Dragonflight (general/misc)

Nozdormu

Soridormi

Chromie

Kairozdormu

The Infinite Dragonflight

Infinite Dragonflight (general/misc)

Murozond

The Green Dragonflight

Green Dragonflight (general/misc)

Ysera

Eranikus

Merithra

Nightmare Dragons

The Red Dragonflight

Red Dragonflight (general/misc)

Alexstrasza

Korialstrasz

Rheastrasza (see also my #AU Rheastrasza adventures)

Lillistrasza

Veritistrasz

My original character Cybelastrasza)

Other Dragonflights and Related Topics

The Chromatic Dragonflight (and my original character, Nith)

The Netherwing Dragonflight

The Twilight Dragonflight

Frost Wyrms  (see also Sindragosa)

Storm Dragons a.k.a. Thorignir

Void dragons

Elemental dragons

Protodragons and Galakrond

Primal Incarnates and Raszageth

Dracthyr

Cloud serpents (known in large numbers as a flock of rainbow noodles)

See also catchall tags like #multiple dragonflights, #many whelps, and the hypothetical violet dragonflight

[fromtheringapron]

WCW Souled Out 1997

Date: January 25, 1997.

Location: Five Seasons Center in Cedar Rapids, Iowa.

Attendance: 5,120.

Commentary: Eric Bischoff and Ted DiBiase. 

Results:

1. Masahiro Chono defeated Chris Jericho.

2. Mexican Death Match: Big Bubba Rogers defeated Hugh Morrus (with Jimmy Hart). 

3. Jeff Jarrett defeated Mr. Wallstreet. 

4. Buff Bagwell defeated Scotty Riggs. 

5. Scott Norton defeated Diamond Dallas Page via count-out. 

6. WCW Tag Team Championship Match: The Steiner Brothers (Rick & Scott) defeated The Outsiders (Scott Hall & Kevin Nash) (champions) to win the titles. The title change was later overturned. 

7. Ladder Match for the WCW United States Championship: Eddie Guerrero (champion) defeated Syxx. 

8. WCW World Heavyweight Championship Match: Hollywood Hogan (champion) and The Giant fought to a no-contest. 

My Review: 

Souled Out 1997 is one of the strangest shows I’ve ever watched. The nWo had grown so popular in the six months since it formed that WCW decided to give the stable its own pay-per-view and the results are, well, yeah. I commend them for trying to do something different, and there’s a lot of potential in the idea, but the actual show is a huge misfire. Its only real success is turning the nWo into a bunch of uncool dweebs. The stable was initially presented on WCW television as these cool, rebellious outsiders from an unnamed Northern wrestling company. Literally none of that shines through here. If this show is any indication, the nWo are obnoxious. They’re a bunch of assholes who laugh at their own jokes. Who would aspire to be like these guys?

Aesthetically, the show does go out of its way to look different from your average WCW pay-per-view. Everything is draped in black and white. Gone is the blocky, colorful WCW entranceway and in its place is a menacing set of stairs. Unfortunately, a lot of these ideas to break from the norm don’t quite work. Eric Bischoff and Ted DiBiase are insufferable as a pair of heel commentators, milking the most out of every terrible joke they can muster. The faces are accompanied to the ring by an nWo voiceover, who mocks them with insults that are neither creative or funny. There’s also some attempt at these handheld, alternative camera angles that essentially make the matches look like something out of America’s Funniest Home Videos.

Perhaps the biggest blunder of all, however, is the Miss nWo pageant. A contest on a wrestling pay-per-view between women who were brought out of complete obscurity and have never seen an ounce of wrestling in their life, let alone anything from WCW, would normally be right up my alley. The potential camp value should be high. But, wow, it’s just pure cringe from the start. Not only does it come off incredibly insulting to both the women involved and everyone’s intelligence, it’s also really awful watching Bischoff et al try to squeeze something fun out of it. By the way, all of the contestants can’t even seem bothered to care. The pageant is won by Miss Becky. I wonder if she knew she were at a wrestling show at all.

The actual card is kind of an afterthought. A lot of it is just an excuse for the nWo to dunk on the WCW roster, which is to be expected but it doesn’t really seem like there are a lot of high stakes here. It feels like the show is setting up to the nWo getting their comeuppance in a seriously major way yet we never get there. We do get to see The Steiners get one up on the nWo and win the tag belts, but the decision would be overturned the next night on Nitro. Hogan and The Giant then proceed to put on one of the worst main event matches I’ve seen in some time. It’s a completely phoned in 10 minutes that ends in a schmoz like literally every Nitro main event at the time. And then the show ends on a really weird note, with the nWo celebrating as the crowd in Cedar Rapids watches in silence.

That’s a good way to sum up this show, actually⏤it’s a party where only the hosts are entertained. The fans have to watch the nWo fuck around and make their crappy jokes as they sit there in complete apathy, and can you blame them? This show doesn’t bother catering to them at all. Maybe the contestants in the Miss nWo pageant were onto something in not giving a shit.

My Random Notes

The nWo is so cool they could only find one referee to officiate their matches.

Let it be known that when Big Bubba ran over Bill DeMott with a motorcycle, he was doing the Lord’s work.

DiBiase was never any good as a commentator. See also: Royal Rumble 1994. You’d think the charisma he brought to his promos would translate well into the commentary booth, but he sounds like a mellowed-out dad whose wild days are long behind him and therefore lacks the energy to get something over.

Any word on the whereabouts of Miss Becky? Is she still in Iowa making French fries or whatever the fuck was listed as her hobby?

One of the highlights of the show, not kidding you, is the adorable old woman in the crowd celebrating with DDP. It’s a cute moment.

Speaking of DDP, his rise to superstardom is one of the best things about this time period in WCW. The Nitro where he officially turns face and dupes The Outsiders is pretty badass. The feud with Randy Savage will officially make him but, for now, he’s just the cool anti-hero babyface WCW needs in their fight against the nWo.

The WCW guys don’t get their entrance music for this show, which is certainly one of its more irredeemable qualities, as it means we don’t get to hear Jeff Jarrett’s country bop of a theme.

This will sound weird, but the commentary made me miss Tony Schiavone so much. Dude is the voice of WCW, for better or worse. Couldn’t they have wrote it into the show that WCW was forced to send one of their commentators to the show? The show really needed that balance.

I’ve seen some love for the ladder match on this show, but I’m kinda indifferent to it. WCW didn’t do a whole lot ladder matches and when they did, they often lacked the spectacle of a WWF one. This one isn’t an exception to me, sorry. Probably not helping matters is that the crowd is pretty dead for it (surprise, surprise). Ladder matches work better when you can hear the shrieks of excitement from the no-good marks, y’know?

[pokeshippingflashfic]

One word prompt: facepalm

(Sorry for the delay. As I said in my mod note awhile back, I had a rough 24-36 hours, and then got a bad cut on my finger a day or two later that made it hard to type so I had to give it a couple days to heal up.)

If there’s one thing you’ve learned over the past eight or so months of traveling with him, it’s that Ash Ketchum is quite the embarrassment.

You’re halfway to sleeping when the initial thought crosses your mind but it sprints around in ascending circles inside your head before you think to stop it in its tracks.

Whether he’s running off to do something bullheaded or eating himself into a coma while spectators take bets or his pants are falling down in the middle of the street (who cares that it only happened that one time Sabrina’s dad used his psychic power; the point is that it mortified you to witness such a thing), Ash Ketchum is an embarrassment to have around sometimes.

The whole thing stresses you out beyond belief. It’s even led to you eyeballing him out of the corner of your eye nearly constantly just so you can be mentally prepared to handle his next stunt. Sometimes your instincts kick in and you grab a hold of him to try and tell him off, dragging him in the opposite direction. Sometimes you need to scarf down a parfait in the closest cafe you can find in the city your group’s currently traveling through just to relieve the pressure of being in Ash Ketchum’s company. Oh, and sometimes you end up wrapped up and pulled into one of his stupid scenarios too, which is far too exhausting to consider the reasons for!

But now, for the first time since tagging along on that dumb kid’s dumb Pokemon journey, you’re eroded with a random wave of insomnia while sharing a room at the local PokeCenter and all you can do is lay back and think about what a gawd-awful embarrassment that Ash Ketchum is.

All of the above commentary is not to say that he has a tendency to keep you up at night (though the current situation may seem evidentiary to the contrary). And, while a partial statement lifted from your aforementioned thought process could be construed as something akin to caring about him, you’re setting the record straight and clearing that air asap! You don’t care about Ash Ketchum, not really. Sure, you’re civil most of the time, you’ve even felt concerned enough once or twice to personally check in and make sure he’s still alive but… but any decent human being would do the same thing so that shouldn’t count!

No, the truth is you can barely stomach him more than you can stand the presence of bug-type Pokemon. That’s what Ash is to you. A bug. An annoyance.

Though, and your brows furrow together, forehead creasing down and nose scrunching up, it’s not… quite the same. Bug Pokemon are creepy, they even kinda… if you’re gonna go so far as to admit it… scare you. Ash, by comparison, makes you feel neither creeped out nor afraid.

In fact, haven’t there been a couple of times when you’ve… depended on him? Even when it concerned bugs?

You groan aloud to yourself, going immediately stiff in the dark when you hear one of your companions shuffle as they roll over on one of the other beds in the room. You squint in the direction of the silhouette as it shifts and eventually stills, concerned someone would wake and ask questions about what’s preventing your sleep. And there’s no way you’re going to let anyone lord over you the fact that Ash Ketchum is keeping you up at night.

Because he’s not. Because that’s absolutely ridiculous.

… Though, even if someone asks, it wouldn’t be frowned upon to admit that the densest, most frustrating Pokemon trainer in the world is haunting you.

No! You snap onto your side, wrenching the pillow halfway from under your head and covering the ear that is on the other side as if this tactic will somehow drown out your thoughts. No, no! If there’s one way to prevent such a thing from even cropping up in conversation, it’s to change your entire thought process right now before it spirals any further!

If Ash Ketchum makes you think of other things you don’t like then the best way to combat that until you finally get called to dreamland is to think of things you do like, right? Hah! Flawless plan!

So you think about the water, and swimming, and swimming with water-type Pokemon, which are your favorite… That’s nice…  But really, Pokemon in general can be quite nice… and so, quite definitely, are the people who treat Pokemon well…

… People like Ash Ketchum?

I’ve never met anyone like him before…

Your eyes shoot open as the direct quote of your past self flutters through your mind. Some part of you, the part that really had begun to doze off again, can still feel your fingers lace together behind your back, can remember the fullness bursting in your heart as you admire him from afar. But that tender scene took place months ago now.

This isn’t working, you think, rubbing both of your palms against your strained and burning eyelids, falling once more onto your back. What’s the saying? You’re doomed if you do, doomed if you don’t?

What can you do when a particular someone else is invading your consciousness and keeping you from the rest you need? Your ire burns in first, screeching that you should obviously cause that person the same disturbance they’re causing you. It’s what they deserve for insighting such distress!

And yet… and yet there’s another piece of you, logical, more mature, that chimes in next, stating that… perhaps there’s something to be worked out here in the middle of the night involving this other person if they’re capable of keeping you up.

Ash Ketchum is an embarrassment. That’s the root thought that started everything. But Ash Ketchum is admittedly… quite a lot of things. He’s a… decent trainer, you suppose, though he’ll never compare to you. He treats Pokemon like equals, like friends, and it warms your heart to know that people like him indeed exist. You always felt out of place for thinking similarly in Cerulean City. It’s not that people back home were cruel to Pokemon but… was it the same as the level of personal sacrifice Ash tended to lay on the line?

There’s a snort from one of your roommates, presumably the same boy that’s consuming your consciousness, though it irks you some to think a split second later that you know him well enough to recognize the odd sounds he makes while asleep… Where has the time even gone these past eight months?

Ash is - well, he rarely ever allows you the gracious firsthand experience but he’s - a decent person to have around at all. Sure, there are times when he’s annoying, when he’s dumb, dense, stubborn, reckless, immature - oh, wait, you’re working yourself up again… Let’s give it another go…

The point is, despite all of these traits you have bared the brunt of, there are other times when… when he’s more than decent. The times when he stands up against Team Rocket, for instance! Sure, they’re not much of a threat but it’s not like Ash is obligated to fight them… and yet he does almost daily! And there are the people he helps on a regular basis too.

And… well, beyond interpersonal exchanges, Ash is… he reminds you of yourself… which is kinda weird to consider now but once the thought is in your head it refuses to dissipate. He’s young yet passionate enough about training Pokemon that he wants to run headfirst at any challenge coming his way. He cares about nothing but his Pokemon and being the best, his spirit occasionally overwhelming bystanders, including yourself. It’s nice to see that same fire in someone else on a daily basis. It reminds you of how much dedication and work you have to do as well in order to make it to the top.

Was there… a reason for these thoughts circling your mind?

You can’t quite remember, but they put you at ease, comfort you as you lull into a snooze.

The lightning strike of emotional turmoil stamps you from the top of your head to the tips of your toes, both your hands immediately, instinctively clamping over the front of your face as you straighten up against the mattress. You can feel your eyelashes flutter against your finger tips, your hot breath puffing against your palms as you moan quietly to yourself in the dead dark and quiet.

You’d thought that Ash, in all his frustrating egoism and with all his childish quirks, was the embarrassing one… But here you’ve been using him as a coping mechanism to help you fall asleep, internally listing reasons for admiration and likeness and telling yourself it’s a must in order to find any peace tonight…

And honestly, is there anything at all more embarrassing than that?

You spend the next few minutes rolling around, mourning your less emotionally aware state of mind, gone now after half the night’s been spent on dissecting your relationship with this dumb boy…

But after that, you spend the following five or so hours sleeping soundly among your companions without any disruption until it’s time to get the next part of your journey together started.

And you’re remiss to confess even to yourself that thinking good thoughts about Ash Ketchum effectively did its job.

Thus your next round of denial begins.

[chrisemrysfics]

21 questions game.

Tagged by @dannyikigay (thank you!!)

RULES. Answer 21 questions and tag 21 people you want to know better.

Nickname: Chris~

Zodiac sign: Cancer!

Height: Last I knew, it was 170 cm (5′7″), I might have grown a few inches? But yeah should be around 170 cm.

Hogwarts house: I never took interest in that but did tests for it while doing muse’s hc things, I think I would mostly come out as Hufflepuff (and sometimes Ravenclaw).

Last thing googled: Tales of Vesperia points (I wanted to see how many I needed to get all I wanted for new game +)

Favourite Musicians: I can’t say I have favourties musicians? I love musics, sometimes I look for more of the same artists, and I do like some but. Not really a fave? But artists I like, there’s JAM Project, Within Temptation, Two steps from Hell, then a lot of anime ost and songs, a few KPOP and JPOP songs. I do like some famous people (Lady gaga, Michael Jackson and Johnny Halliday for example, MIKA too). But yeah I’m more into musics than artists so I dont really have any that end up as my fave.

Song stuck in head: In the past few days, sometimes my epic playlist, sometimes its Tribute (dj fernando lopez sun mix), sometimes its Leave It All Behind (Cult To Follow), to name a few.

Following: 49

Followers: 111

Do I get asks: A few times yes, but it’s rare. I get my interactions more from the likes, and sometimes reblogs (you bet I look if there’s commentary tags). I do welcome asks though, obviously!

Amount of sleep: It can vary, but usually something like 7 or 8 hours.

Lucky number: I keep wavering between 2, 3 and 4. I always felt like its 3, but 2 is my birth date, and I think I once saw my lucky number was supposed to be 4. All three numbers have been lucky to me in the past so.

Wearing: blue crop top and blue jean shorts.

Dream Job: Writer

Dream Trip: Sightsee England, Ireland, Scotland and Wales; visit my friends; I do wish sometimes to see Japan too.

Instruments: I learned to play the flute in middle school, sometimes I kind of want to pick it back up; and I can’t say I know how to play piano, but I have an electric one (where we put with a marker do-re-mi-etc on the notes)

Languages: French, English; I had learned Spanish but I’d need a lot of refreshing (but I still somewhat understand it), I started to self-learn Japanese but I’m pretty sure by now I do need to refresh my memory (I only truly learned by heart back then the Kanas, but by now I have trouble recognizing them).

Favourite songs: Too many, changes often, though I still love a lot songs I would mark as fave at a point in time.

Random fact: I rode a horse once, it was with a high school friend who with her dad wanted to gift me an hour of taking a stroll on a horse. However, technically you needed to know how to ride one. We lied that I did ride before (I had ridden poneys but I knew very well that’s not the same), but the moment I got on the horse, I was a slightly frozen deer in headlight stuck on the thought holy shit it is higher than I expected. The staff person took one look at me and asked again “You rode before?” with slight amusement and I’m like, strained smile, “I did... poneys...”

But in the end they were super kind and they let my friend and her dad have their stroll while they told me to just, stay and familiarize myself with my horse, then once my friend and her dad came back, they would hold the reigns and guide my horse. I got used to the walk pace, and we tried once or twice a small trot (which got my heartbeat off the roof and my butt to hurt lol), but I enjoyed it a lot.

Aesthetic: early morning, the wind, blue sky, music while walking, tea, a walk in the forest, the sound of waves.

I tag: aaaaaa @weeweewuxian @gonedolin @ast3ri @atropadesideria and anyone else who want to do this, say I tagged you?

[shadowsong26x]

Lavinia for the character meme thing!

All righty then! Putting this behind a cut because somewhat spoilery (though, probably her Major Plot Points aren’t super hard to guess, between various other commentaries I’ve made/tropes I’ve mentioned liking/I think I’ve hinted at it/foreshadowed okay at least in bonus content?) and also Long.

favorite thing about them

Not necessarily my absolute favorite thing, but it has a nice Flipside so…

She thinks things through. She does her absolute best to gather appropriate information and make sure she’s prepared for the situations she’ll find herself in, including researching from as broad a collection of sources as she can. She considers all the consequences of her actions, and she never forgets that, because she is who she is and she has the abilities and position she does, her actions can have Consequences. And she learned how to do most of this processing fast. She is fast and she is well-informed, and at the end of the day she will do what is necessary, in service of the galaxy and her larger goals, but she will be sure it is necessary, and that the consequences are acceptable, given what she stands to gain.

least favorite thing about them

Of course, the flipside of this is that she overthinks everything. And I mean, e v e r y t h i n g. Like I said, she learned how to overthink very quickly, because her father wouldn’t tolerate her being paralyzed by those doubts, but that also means that she never really learned how to trust herself and her judgment and be confident in her decisions. This leads to some pretty epic screwups in her personal life, and also her shying away from certain things, particularly her own abilities with the Force beyond passive observation and occasionally assisting her more mundane manipulation with a Mind Trick or two (unless she’s desperate enough to completely unleash, which leads to her pulling off things like battle meditation; which might save her and her allies once or twice, but that kind of all-or-nothing/rigid but brittle control is Not Good in the long run.)

(Again, this is not necessarily my absolute least favorite/what I would consider her most negative trait, because a lot of that is situational, but, well, it’s situational. Her ability/habit of thinking things through and putting a lot of effort into her choices is both a good thing and a bad thing, and it’s the trait I could write up most clearly from both sides.)

favorite line

The problem with answering this question is most of the ones I can think of are somewhat spoilery Wham lines, and also require a fair amount of context to explain why they’re my favorites. And/or come from miscellaneous AUs that also require a fair amount of setup…

So, I’m going to go with one that’s from an AU of Masks!verse, in reference to Luke:

“Oh, you poor boy. Try not to let your excess of compassion get you killed. The universe needs more men like you.”

brOTP

Depending on the AU/context/point in time (and I am excluding non-fusion crossovers here), Luke, Kallus, Thrawn, Pellaeon (…who maybe shouldn’t count, because he’s more Dad, but he’s one of the most important people in her life and their relationship is 9000% platonic so), Mara, Leia, Ventress (…also kind of a weird example, because the main way it applies is Ventress as her mentor/teacher/etc. which may not be the best application of brOTP? But, again, v. important relationship and entirely platonic when it comes up).

OTP

Lando and/or Sabine.

Lando because they complement each other in some interesting ways–they’re both talented administrators and good at reading/managing people, though Lando’s a lot better at one-on-one People slash dealing with people when it’s not Work, so to speak. But he tends to be a master of Xanatos Speed Chess/a case study in “Well That Escalated Quickly,” and she is Hyperprepared/very rarely makes a move unless it’s certain. I.e., see my first two answers, lol. So they balance each other out in that way.

Sabine because they started kind of flirting in the Handler AU and then it got super cute. Might also be a thing in the Pellaeon AU? Or another Masks!Verse AU that has a similar breakpoint to the Handler AU…anyway, the two of them getting together depends on some specific changes and timeline things, so it only works in certain AUs. That being said, they’re pretty cute/sweet together. Because we have Useless Lesbian Sabine and Only Flirts In Professional Lavinia and yeah.

nOTP

Luke. Like. There is no incarnation whatsoever, even if I’m not reading Luke as aro (he’s definitely ace, but aro–I go back and forth on whether he’s aromantic or panromantic but that’s another conversation), where that works. Even in at least one AU where he’s the biological father of her child (in an IVF/sperm donor situation, she asked him because he’s someone she trusts completely and also someone who would be completely okay with not being the kid’s dad and things/their relationship wouldn’t get Weird).

random headcanon

Lavinia’s favorite color is blue. Specifically in the aqua/teal/slightly-green-tinged family. She’s always considered herself more Coruscanti than Naboo, but maybe something deep inside her feels a connection to that peaceful, watery, living color or something.

…or possibly she just likes it and there’s no Deeper Meaning behind it, heh.

unpopular opinion

…lord. Uh. This one’s hard, since she is my OC and I haven’t published/posted a whole heck of a lot about her? So it’s hard to know what the popular opinions are, let alone what the unpopular ones are…

I guess in the spirit of this, there’s the fact that, deep at her core, she’s kind of an idealist? She believes in things, and in certain people. And she believes that, not only should the galaxy be a better place, but that it can be.

(possibly in the spirit of this because she’s also, like, a spy and a professional politician so there’s a lot of cynicism on the surface/covering up that idealism…)

song i associate with them

Quite a few actually. Hm, what’s one I haven’t necessarily shared with you yet…

…ehh, I’ll go with these two:

I may have actually shared this one with you before, but it’s still one of my favorites for her. At the end of her life, looking back on her life/taking stock.

And this one I’m pretty sure I haven’t shared. From a somewhat younger perspective, and also kind of a nostalgia bomb for me.

favorite picture of them

Let’s see…::digs through #lavinia tag:: …and most of these are just fashion photosets that fit her aesthetic, but here’s a couple pictures of her:

This is probably something along the lines of what she looks like in her early/mid-teens. I believe this is the actress who plays Lucrezia in the not-Jeremy Irons Borgias show that came out around the same time. Which is particularly entertaining to me because…

Grown-up Lani is Lotte Verbeek, particularly as Giulia Farnese in the other Borgias series XD

Anyway, most of the other ones I have saved are gifs, so these two it is.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn’t link the commission I got of her a couple years ago!

[hazyheel]

Wrestlemania 35 Predictions

Another year, another very stacked Wrestlemania. Around the time of the Royal Rumble, I was actually pretty worried about this card, but it shaped into what looks to be one of the better cards of Wrestlemania history, at least of the ones that last 10+ hours. Either way, lets get into the predictions.

Starting out with the Andre the Giant Memorial Battle Royal, which oddly enough has a story attached to it. A few weeks ago, Braun Strowman got into a confrontation with Colin Jost and Michael Che, two people who are definitely not wrestlers, because Jost implied wrestling was fake. After weeks of Strowman destroying gifts sent by the pair, he goaded them into also entering the battle royal. I don’t know what the hell is actually happening. I don’t know how that story will affect the match, but if Strowman throws the two out of the ring to win, I think that would a deflating, but ultimately satisfying way to end a pointless pre-show match. But, I am going to take a risk here and say that EC3 will win, because he has been booked to shit lately, and he really needs something. While Strowman is in a similar predicament, he can recover easier due to his monster status. Hopefully EC3 gets the win, and turns it into something.

The Wrestlemania Women’s Battle Royal has no story, so I’ll just guess. Lacy Evans has yet to be announced for the match, but there is no reason for her not to be in it, so why not? She should be given some sort of a role, and if the rumors are to be believed, that role will be as an actual wrestler. She will need momentum going forward, and hopefully this is how she gets it.

And the last match that definitely shouldn’t be on the pre show, Buddy Murphy vs. Tony Nese for the WWE Cruiserweight Championship. The two formed a friendship last year after both failed to advance in the Cruiserweight championship tournament, and had been supporting each other and tagging together all last year. However, that friendship began to fall apart when Murphy won the cruiserweight Championship at Super Show-Down, and then Nese won a tournament to be crowned the number one contender. They began to brawl backstage, which puts together an interesting element to this heel vs. heel match. It should really be a great match, but not one that Murphy should lose. I could see it happening, but it doesn’t really need to. Murphy is really at the top of the division right now, and WWE needs to build up a babyface to beat him, rather than just a random betrayal. But this is certainly a match that I am looking forward to.

Into the main card, we come to AJ Styles vs. Randy Orton, whose feud is basically WWE vs. The Indies. Orton told Styles that he wasn’t good enough to get to WWE earlier, whereas Styles told Orton that he couldn’t last on the Indie scene if he had tried. And that is mostly it. So, this match will probably be pretty good because Orton is a heel, and AJ is awesome, but I have a sneaking suspicion that the whole point of it is for WWE to beat the Indie scene in a clash of icons. I think Orton comes away with the win here, which isn’t all that bad due to his scary and cool heel character right now, but its annoying to think that a storyline that vince booked himself about how WWE is better than the indies, may actually make Vince feel like he won something somehow.

Next, it is Roman Reigns vs. Drew McIntyre. The two had a bit of history from last year as the Shield took on various combinations of heels in 6-man tags, but the brunt of the story came after Roman returned from his cancer treatment. McIntyre began to attack Roman before his matches on Raw, saying that he was not ready to be back in the normal roster yet. He challenged Reigns to a match, telling him not to accept it because he will destroy Reigns, but Reigns accepted anyway. It will probably be a super fun match, but an obvious one. Reigns will win in a hard hitting match.

Kurt Angle is having his retirement match on Sunday, against rival Baron Corbin. Corbin constantly undermined Angle’s position as General Manager of Raw, even stealing Angle’s job at one point. Eventually, Angle helped to take Corbin out of that job as well, and the two separated. But when naming his opponent, Angle asked for Corbin due to unfinished business. Corbin then continued to tell Angle that he was too old and fragile to win the match. Also, funnily enough, the WWE fans’ hatred of Corbin is constantly used in the feud, because he tells fans he does not care if they say he isn’t good enough to retire Angle. That makes me laugh. If it was anyone else, I would have said that Angle would lose. But since it is Corbin, and I really don’t want to see him win and neither does anyone else, I think Angle will win here and ride away into the sunset. This is probably a bad booking decision, but it feels necessary. I would not be heartbroken if Corbin won though, because maybe he will be booked better in the future. Probably won’t be a good match. However, there is a possibility that John Cena will return and be Angle’s last match, in which case Cena should win. But, for the purpose of this prediction, I’m calling Angle as the winner.

Shane McMahon is taking on the Miz in a Falls Count Anywhere match. This feud stemmed oddly from both their experience as a tag team and Miz’s desperate attempt to get his father to accept him. Miz felt indebted to Shane after he subbed in for miz at Crown Jewel (can’t believe that this show is somehow still relevant.) in the world cup tournament. Shane said he was the best in the world for a few weeks, before that just sort of faded out. The two were able to team together at the Royal Rumble against the Bar, because Miz begged Shane to help him win a belt and make his father love him (?), and they won the Smackdown Tag Team Championships. They held the belts for a month, losing them to The usos at Elimination Chamber, and again in a match at Fastlane. Shane then attacked the Miz brutally for making him lose the belts, and blamed their failure entirely on him. He even attacked Miz’s dad. Shane said that he was sick of people using him, challenging Miz to a Wrestlemania match, which Miz then requested to make a Falls Count Anywhere match, for no reason in particular. Could be a fun hardcore match, probably more storytelling than wrestling, but I am sure that it will be fun soap opera stupidity. Also, I hope Miz’s dad gets involved!

Then we have Triple H against Batista in a No Holds Barred match. Batista and Triple H had a confrontation at Smackdown 1000, but it did not escalate. However, months later, at Ric Flair’s birthday, Batista spoiled the fun by attacking Flair. He then challenged Triple H to a match, in a very long and bad promo involving Batista saying “give me what I want” and triple h saying “I’m gonna kick your ass.” In a roundabout way, the match became No Holds Barred. Batista’s whole point of challenging Triple H was that he manipulated Batista early in his career, and he does nothing but manipulate people. That makes him seem much more like a misunderstood face rather than a heel, so this is definitely a bad story. Triple H’s career is also on the line for some reason. Anyway, I don’t really care about this match, but I think Batista will win, and he will have one last run with the company, until like Summerslam or something. It is really just Trips’ time to retire.

Onto the title matches, Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder take on the Revival for the Raw tag team championships. No real build up here other than Hawkins’ 3 year long losing streak. I am voting with my heart here and saying that Hawkins and Ryder are gonna pull it out and become champions. Just have hope and it will happen guys.

In the smackdown tag division, The usos defend against Rusev and Shinsuke Nakamura, the Bar and the Wrestlemania debuting Ricochet and Aleister Black. This match also came out of nowhere, with a random 8-man tag on smackdown being made into a fatal 4-way tag team match by Alexa Bliss last week. So, nothing huge in terms of story, but I feel like Ricochet and Aleister Black are gonna win here. They have been teaming together for a long time now, and winning tag belts on the main roster has been teased since they debuted. So, I think this is their time, and hopefully they can revitalize the tag division on the main roster. 

And in the women’s tag division, The Boss n’ Hug Connection are taking on the IIconics, Nia Jax and Tamina and the reformed Divas of Doom. The story started at Fastlane, when Banks and Bayley successfully defeated Jax and Tamina in their first title defense. The heels attacked the champions, until Beth Phoenix left the commentary table and intervened. Natalya ran down the ramp to her aid, but they still lost. The next night, Phoenix returned to action, reforming the Divas of Doom and challenging Bayley and Banks to a Wrestlemania match, which was accepted. The two teams relationship dissolved over the coming weeks, and Tamina and Jax gained entry to the match be beating the teams down during that time. Also, the IIconics accused the Boss n’ Hug connection of avoiding smackdown live. In response, Banks and Bayley fought Royce and Cay on smackdown, with the heels getting an upset win with a dirty pin. So, we come to another Fatal 4-way. I think that Banks and Bayley should retain, because their initial title run hasn’t been that long. Also, I want the Sky Pirates to beat them :)

And in a match that really means nothing to me, Bobby Lashley takes on the Demon version of Finn Balor for the Intercontinental Championship. Ugh. This feud has gone on for too long. Balor has been going for the title since the Elimination Chamber, where he pinned Lio Rush in a two on one handicap match, winning the championship. However, in a rematch on Raw, Lashley regained the belt due to a distraction from Rush. Now they are having another match, and Finn is gonna be wearing the makeup. I don’t know why they feel the need to announce this, its better as a surprise. Anyway, Finn should win because Lashley has been boring lately. They don’t have much chemistry together, so I don’t expect much from this.

And now for a dream match, Samoa Joe vs. Rey Mysterio for the United States Championship. While the two had faced off in fatal 4-ways for the belt in the previous months, Mysterio had not won any and even passed out in the Coquina Clutch. However, Mysterio did score a pin in a recent tag match, booking the match for Wrestlemania. In a similar booking situation as the Women’s Tag Match, Joe shouldn’t lose the belt here, because he should have a long reign on top.

And now into the several “main events,” Seth Rollins takes on Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship. The two have had on and off feuds for a couple years, but the main story comes from Brock’s previous opponents as champions. Rollins won the Royal Rumble, and proceeded to speak about the types of Wrestlers that Lesnar had issues with: smaller, quicker wrestlers such as AJ Styles, Daniel Bryan and Finn Balor. The feud also showcased Seth’s resilience, as he was hit with several finishers and still be able to stand up to Lesnar. He has also stated on several occasions that he will do whatever it takes to win. This may result in a heel turn, but hopefully not. I think Seth should win the match, whether he turns heel or not, because Brock just cannot hold that goddamn belt anymore. Let it goooooooooo. But I would rather have Seth lose here than either of the two entries ahead of it, so Lesnar could win, but it should be Seth.

For the WWE Championship, Kofi Kingston finally gets his shot against the dastardly heel Daniel Bryan. Kofi lucked his way into the elimination chamber match, pulling out a great performance in the iron man before the match itself, evening pinning Bryan during that match, and then nearly winning the Elimination Chamber. Kofi was supposed to be in a singles WWE Championship match at Fastlane, but was once again screwed out of the match. Kofi then had to fight in several gauntlet matches to get this match, and it is about damn time he got a title shot. I love that they are comparing Kofi’s rise to Bryan’s rise 5 years ago. Kofi really needs to win this match, because he totally deserves it. He is such a good wrestler, and I never thought that he would hang in the main event. Now that he has the opportunity, he shouldn’t lose this. This is probably the match I am most looking forward to.

And in the real main event, Women’s Royal Rumble winner Becky Lynch battles Raw Women’s Champion Ronda Rousey and Smackdown Women’s Champion Charlotte flair in a winner takes all match. The story here is kinda wild, with Lynch only entering the match because of an injury of another competitor. She eliminated Charlotte last to win the match, and challenge Rousey for the Raw Women’s Championship the next night. Vince McMahon tried to remove her from the match and replace her with charlotte, but Rousey refused to fight anyone other than Lynch, so she vacated the title. The next week, they announced a match for Fastlane between Lynch and Flair, and if Lynch won, she would be added to the match. Lynch won when Rousey turned heel and attacked her, giving Lynch the win by DQ. Charlotte then beat Asuka for the Smackdown Women’s Championship, making the match winner take all. They then brawled in the coming weeks, even being arrested on Monday. This should be really an awesome match, and Becky will finally get the belt the she deserves.

[punkascas]

Fic Author Interview

tagged by: the wonderfully talented and incredibly sweet @amirosebooks  ❤

tagging: @iggyw @tenoko1 @casolantern @schmerzerling @amazinmango @serricoj @rainbofiction @coffeeandcas @topaz-eyes @angelofthemoor @culumacilinte @coplins

im going to do this from the slightly broader perspective of creative writing in general (since i write fic but i also write scripts and things for my job). also this is v long. sorry.

What inspires your work most? (The show it is based on, the actor who portrays a certain character, maybe the character itself…? It could even be an experience.) so generally my inspiration is (in order): (a) my own life experiences, (b) some kind of commentary i want to make about the source material or about fiction or fandom in general, and (c) the characters themselves and the aspects i love in them, especially trying to find ways to play with the duality of their personalities, the good aspects and the negative ones.  i’ve known for a long time that what drives me to create is that i want to make other people feel less alone. you know those times to read something or there’s a line someone says, and you’re like, yes, yes, that’s me; no one’s ever gotten that before or at least never put it so perfectly into words, whatever that experience/feeling might be. i want to give people that moment with anything i create. there’s also a lot of things that i’ve experienced in my life that come up relatively often in fiction, or at least in fic, and a lot of it usually is off-putting to me. it never resonates. it’s melodramatic or simply inaccurate, and i think is often written by someone who doesn’t have the lived experience to pull from. so i always want to add my voice to the pile and benefit from my own experiences to make those kinds of tropes and situations more realistic and relatable -- to me, but hopefully also to others.  like generally every character backstory or character arc i write in fic is something pulled from my own life. like it’s probably twisted or adapted somewhat, because i’m not into being autobiographical. but as an example, in faith healer, this bit: Memory degrades with time. Maybe as a child he knew that somehow. He knew that there would be a second, slower death across time, as she became more of idea than person, and so he clung onto specific moments as a talisman for Mom: I had a mom once; this was my mommy. He remembers her hands best. The way her skin was thin and dry, but her fingers strong, and the way they'd close around his hands. The way she would press in love and good luck and humility when he misbehaved with a squeeze to his chubby, too small hands. Second best he remembers her laugh, the way her mouth moved around a smile, the warmth in it, tinged with embarrassment whenever someone startled it out from her. The rest of the memories are vague, more like facts he can read out of a mental police blotter than lived experience. She used to wear some kind of fleece robe in the winter, thick and pilled, creating a soft cushion between her breasts for his head to rest when he sat in her lap for a story. He thinks the robe was red. She used to bake things from scratch and used to let him pretend to help. On Sundays she did laundry, down in the basement. He followed her once, asking when Dad would come back, and she paused on the landing, basket of clothes cocked on her hip, and wouldn't go any further until he went back upstairs. The basement, she said, was too dangerous for him, dark and damp. She wanted him to be safe. She always cut the crust off his sandwiches. that is my experience of my grandmother’s death. when she died i knew i would forget over time the specific details of her, so i picked a couple to remind myself of daily so i’d never forget them. and that was her hands and her laugh. and i do have that memory of her doing the laundry and standing on the landing to the basement asking her where my dad was and when he’d be back (he was on an 18 month voyage to africa - my dad is a sailor). and she did always cut the crusts off my sandwiches for me.  (and btw i can’t ever re-read that passage with crying.)

What is your favorite fandom to write for? i mean, usually whatever my main fandom is at the time? which right now is spn. i did also enjoy writing potc fic and RDJ films sherlock holmes. i like writing characters who have a very strong but also very biased or unusual perspective on the world. they make for good unreliable narrators, which is something i love doing.

Which perspective do you prefer writing in? (First-person, third-person) always, always, always third-person limited is my go-to. i only write in first-person if the original source material is written that way (like ACD Sherlock Holmes) and i want to do a pastiche of that style. 

Do you prefer writing reader fics or OCs? no. full stop. (okay, one caveat: i do like kidfic, but i am also SUPER PICKY about reading it bc im always looking for some accurate representations of parenthood and what it’s like to have a child. like kids are hard??? they’re hard and they make you worry and they drive you crazy and they have their own, weird, stubborn, fascinating views on life and the world. they’re not perfect angel children who exist only to be cute or ridiculously amazing mary sue geniuses. so yeah a well done kidfic where the kid is an OC i will read.)

Do you prefer writing longer works or one shots? given that every single WIP i have right now are fucking, horrible, lengthy novels,i want to say i prefer writing one-shots. i want TO BE ABLE to write one-shots. i used to do???? but yeah, i guess i really do enjoy plotting and world-building, which lends itself to creating monster plot bunnies instead of short stories or quick scenes. 

Do you take requests? i do! do i ever actually get around to writing those requests is another question. but absolutely. send me prompts. ask for timestamps. if it speaks to me, and especially if it’s something i think i can write in less than 1000 words, i’ll most likely give it a go. 

Do you enjoy getting random Asks? yes! always! i try to respond at least with in 72 hours. but yes please COME TALK TO ME ANYTIME.

What inspires the names for OCs (or extra character names) in your works? Do you pick them from real life or just select them at random? A mix? so with fic, i never really write OCs, or if i do, they’re p much a red shirt or like extra #243 or smth and therefore don’t have names. if a character has spoken dialogue or no on-screen dialogue but some impact on the plot, i’ll try to “cast” that part with a character from the source material. for example, in the family business (which i realise isn’t posted yet), there’s some issues with a rival gang that need resolving. i cast the head of the rival gang as a well-known character from spn that has generally served a rival or an enemy to the boys on the show. i like doing that bc i like the parallels it draws, especially when working with an AU, and the ability to explore characters and dynamics from a slightly (or not slightly at all but in fact completely divergent) angle. i follow the philosophy that part of the real cathartic nature of AUs and part of why we write them is the ability to offer commentary on the source material. that a good AU should offer commentary on the source material. they're both metatexts and paratexts simultaneously. the one caveat to this, again, is kidfic, because i like and i do write it (i’ve just never finished any of those fics enough to publish them). and then i try to name kids in the way i think their parents would name them. i try to put myself in the character’s headspace and try to figure out what name(s) would appeal to them. and if we talk about work, and the scripts i write, i mean all of that is basically OCs. so far every script i’ve written while employed by my current firm, i always stick in at least one instance of one of my dogs’ names. i also will make subtle film or tv references. like the script i just wrote, there were three characters, and the first character had already been named harold by our content lead. so i named the other two perry and harmony as a reference to kiss kiss bang bang. i’ve done all the clones from orphan black as OC names. i’ve done members of radiohead.  if one of the scripts im writing already has a theme built into it for a specific pop culture reference (like yesterday one of the scripts i wrote was using yoda speech and star wars analogies as part of its marketing and engagement strategies) so i’ll name characters in line with that pop culture motif (so the star wars themed script has luke and ben and daisy and carrie as characters). 

If your story(ies) have OCs, are their appearances based on real people or celebrities? If so, who? as mentioned above, i rarely include OCs and if i do, they’re unimportant stand-ins. so i never give much thought to how they look. offspring in kidfic i do think about how they look. if the actors who play the main characters have children, i’ll start there. like for dean and cas, i always look at jj and west and maison and try to figure out what a kid with some of those combined physical features might look like. i’ll also look at photos of the actors from when they were kids or teenagers and try to decide if these two people had a kid, what features would that kid inherit.  for work, casting people depends on client expectations and design direction and budget, so it’s a different ballgame. 

How long have you been writing fanfiction? i think the first fic i published was in 2002 or 2003. so 15 years i guess??? how has it been 15 years dude. 

[skerbango-blog]

Commentary on Tiger Commentary - by Ritty

Sports have already entered a post-photography and post-highlight package era, and soon, hopefully, we can add post-commentary era to that list as well. We have no need for professional curation. Or narration. Or pithy one-liner. The moment is the moment and it can be viewed in the highest definition instantly and repeatedly and without unnecessary interpretation.

For instance:

Jim Nantz begins by stating, “Many doubted we would ever see it…but here it is.”

Tiger Woods taps in for bogey and fulfills his epic journey. A Major victory that Tiger has flirted with for years. One that Nantz has covered for years. And yet, to exclaim this greatest of achievements, Nantz gives us sappy sentimentality.

“The return to glory!”

It sounds like the tag line for a shitty movie. Spoken by someone deplete of wit and running low on piety. Someone who no longer understands how we capture the scene.

After Tiger makes his putt, and after Nantz performs his line, both Nantz and his cohort, Nick Faldo, are silent for nearly three full minutes as Tiger transcends into the greatest of all-time before our eyes. We see the immediate, forceful thrust of Tiger’s arms as he tilts his head upward and yells at the top of his lungs. Immediately we see emotion from Tiger that we have never seen. He hugs Tony Finau. He’s gracious with Molinari. He hugs his caddie.

“WE DID IT!” he screams.

Meanwhile the roars increase in waves until an all-out “Tiger” chant becomes audible. It fuels Tiger as he walks up the hill behind the 18th green, now literally flexing, all of it made eerily surreal by Tiger’s bright red mock turtle neck. An anachronism that makes Tiger look like a very detailed hologram or some creation we would unlock on a video game. It is also a very literal connection to his past.

Tiger sees his family and has a genuine, intimate moment with each of them as random people in the immediate background awkwardly gawk. As the group moves toward the clubhouse, the crowd noise increases as new patrons catch a glimpse of their superhero and, once again, they are compelled to chant his name. Tiger raises his fist and screams at the top of his lungs, right in front of the camera, a completely bizarre move for him after so much time has elapsed after he made the final putt, but we barely notice because of the chaos around him.

“I never thought we’d see anything that could rival the hug with his father in 1997, but we just did,” Nantz says after his much-appreciated hiatus. Nantz’s connection to Tiger’s past is not the literal one (the mock), but rather an emotional one (Tiger’s hug with his Dad after winning his first green jacket).

Meanwhile, Nick Faldo completely gets it.

“That will be the greatest scene in golf…FOREVER,” Faldo says. Immediately Faldo senses this is more than one image, or one celebration, or one succinct statement. He recognizes the entirety of the scene for what it is and knows how it will be consumed in “views” online.

“That hug with his children?” Nantz chimes in, having missed the point, “If that doesn’t bring a tear to your eyes,” Nantz continues, “and if you’re a parent…you’re not human.”

You can almost hear Faldo mutter no you fucking idiot as he repeats and reemphasizes his (correct) viewpoint. “The whole euphoria of everything,” Faldo describes. “The patrons. His emotion. The chanting. We will never see anything as exhilarating as that. Fantastic. Congratulations, Tiger. Unbelievable.”

Nantz is not alone, of course. There was a lot of talk about “Fathers & Sons” at this year’s Masters. I don’t recall seeing that phrase much in past tournaments, but with Tiger in contention, it was low hanging fruit. Google traced the origin of the phrase to Jack’s Masters win in ’86 when he had his son on the bag, and then there is this Wright Thompson video essay from 2011, which is basically softcore porn for tear mongers.

Whether it’s Jack or Tiger, this is a fucked-up way to appreciate the pinnacle of greatness (And hey, what about Moms? Asks sbnation). Some mortals parse precious rarity down until it becomes relatable. It’s the only way they can process things emotionally. In Tiger’s case it was when he finally reached his family that people remembered he was human, too, just like us.

Colin Cowherd, in a pathetically melodramatic piece of theater, says the emotion we felt when Tiger won united us all at a time when the nation is more divided than he has ever experienced it. Most of America, he says, sat on their couch crying while watching Tiger’s win. An average of 13 million watched on TV by the way. For most of America to pull for the same thing with tears in their eyes, that means 150,000,00 were watching online…? Maybe being overly relatable through emotion is what is driving people away from TV, ESPN, etc.

Cowherd tells multiple stories with the same, dull, infinitely repeated character arc. Man is okay. Something bad happens to man. Man struggles then recovers. Man is good. We perceive man as being better than how he originally started (i.e. “okay) because we so desperately want to believe that we are capable of the same arc ourselves.  Michael Jordan: good + fall + struggle + rise = “family.” Tiger: respect + disgrace + struggle + rise = “We love you even more.” Tiger: healthy + injury + struggle + rise = “The greatest comeback in the history of American sports.”

Rich Eisen, calling himself the voice of reason, adds personal triumph over trials and tribulations to the list of explanations through indulgent, consumerist slogans like, “You can do it!” Can you be more demeaning of Tiger’s accomplishment than by telling the masses they are capable a similar feat if they just believe in themselves and do it? Not to mention the irresponsibility in doing so.

The YouTube algorithm for mawkishness was in control now. Skip Bayless. Random nerds on Sportscenter. Andy North. Scott Van Pelt. All felt the same emotion and all attributed it to relatable sources.

Tiger Woods represents the singularity. Objectively, undoubtedly, rare and great. The scene around the 18th green in Augusta was a portent. Nantz and the gang were correct in that we experienced emotion together, and that is unity in a sense, but not because of commonalities like family, or time, or redemption, but because it involves all of those things at once and amplified to a point beyond ordinary comprehension. A collective awe transpired that we instinctively recognized, and we knew the scene, the whole scene, was a momentous flash in time to be catalogued in our brains and on our computers forever. Just as Faldo reminded us.

Believe it or not, and however poorly I have explained the point so far, two important things are on my side. 1) Technology 2) The Masters. The latter revealed its “Track” feature on what was already the best sports event website on the Internet. Want to watch Tiger’s shot into #16 without having to hear Verne’s forced “Oh my goodness”? Or any other shot hit by anybody for that matter? Hit the play button: https://www.masters.com/en_US/scores/track/hole_view/index.html?pid=8793&round=4&hole=18

Commentary began in print because people could not experience events in any other way. It evolved with technology and as the visuals became ubiquitous and in high definition, commentary evolved into emotional depictions. Most of the time these depictions center around what divide us and that works because anger easily triggers, but in rare cases like Tiger Woods, the commentators struggle to describe why he unites us.

But soon technology will exist that will allow us to virtually experience each and every shot on the golf course as if we were seated right next to Michael Phelps behind the 16th tee. It won’t take wealth or fame to get there, either, just a headset and a virtual subscription. I hope The Masters and IBM innovate this technology in order to perfect its use in golf, and I hope they remember the “Mute Commentary” button. Should something so indescribably great happen again, something momentous that makes me feel small, and ordinary, something so unbelievably unrelatable, bizarre, and inexplicably emotional…I’ll know it when I see it and I can go back and visit anytime I like.