#i should do one with songs that have 'shine' in the title bc i think i got like 5 of them lmao

[dear-space-cadet]

the human fear predictions, song-by-song

i see this album being a follow-up to right thoughts right words right action in a sense. a lot of the songs here started appearing, at least somewhat, in 2016. i think there were plans for a rtrwra follow up that was more 'on-theme' but it got scrapped due to ffs, and then alex got obsessed with disco for a little bit and hired a synthpop twink on guitar. now that we're back to somewhat normal, i think it's time for the post-rtrwra songs to shine. i also see a lot of the ychismb+2005 b-sides motifs happening here already (swallow smile, wine in the afternoon, l. wells, jeremy fraser, ghost in a ditch, walk away, fade together). alex appears to be the primary lyric writer now too so that influences everything you are about to read

overall -- rtrwra without the american southwest influence/rtrwra not produced by todd terje; ychismb+2005 b-sides with less edge and more age

playlist of what i think the general vibes will be

audacious

already out so i will not be doing this one. i personally rate it around a 3/10 for my own tastes

everydaydreamer (4/10)

another "children of the world" "be a good person" chorus

'political' but doesn't take an actual stance (like paper cages or huck and jim)

miaoux miaoux synth riff

really throws off the rest of my predictions but i feel like we ease into the farmhouse truck stop from peepeetown to poopooville shit in the back half

the doctor (6/10)

evil eye spiritual successor

a good song but the imagery will make me uncomfortable or alex will not be singing well so i'll just tune it out (similar to treason animals)

potential itao reference? (buckle up)

hooked (10/10)

THEE banger of the album

i have high hopes for this one

they let dino cook. and cook he will

potential spiritual successor to fabulously lazy. a girl can dream

build it up (5/10)

this is a crowd-pleaser live song and will not be made any better with a studio version

if you like it you like it. it will not be made any better or worse with a studio recording. why is this even on the album

night or day (8/10)

this might be the one where alex 'plays the game' lyrically

spiritual successor to right action. "now how can we leave you to a saturday night or a sunday morning"

alternatively it could be a very "i'm there for you" "be a good person" song and rank around 3/10 but i want to ignore the potential for that. i dont want that to be true

tell me should i stay (5/10)

either a typical alexing with all the usual alexisms or the spiritual successor to bullet

clara feature (they make audrey anna-prior-it-out live)

potentially just a nick/manuela diss track again, which is actually the better outcome

cats (2/10)

just the stupidest shit ever

likely instrumental

either a big band flop OR a julian synth moment (which would bump it to a potential 6/10)

could also be "frogs" from the 2016 LP5 tracklist, but renamed to represent the cat imagery in franz now. if so, very farmhouse, very truck stop instrumental moment. potential 6/10 there too

or alex doing an alex. time will tell. it will suck

i pray for a second steckrube mention but it's unlikely

black eyelashes (8/10)

in my heart this is a fade together/walk away follow-up. maybe an eleanor boots follow up

potential nick mccarthy diss track. they might hit the pentagon here

could also be a clara love track but i doubt it being so obvious after what happened with ms eleanor

i need to love this song sowwyyyy if it sucks it's not my fault

could also be a black tuesday/scarlet and blue revision (bc i see black tuesday as a revision of scarlet and blue already) but that is wishful thinking

bar lonely (9/10)

first seen in 2016 and likely written beforehand (nick + paul influence plus pent-up feelings)

idk if it'll be good, but i do have high hopes bc it's been in the chamber for so long

this could also be the one where they hit the pentagon on nick. likely not but the title gives roasting a guy. this could also be the bullet follow-up but i doubt it if it was written sometime between 2014-2016

the birds (7/10)

spiritual successor to the universe expanded

existential. a bit overdone, but that's whatever

also potential walk away tie-in bc of the alfred hitchcock's the birds post-war tie-ins there

maybe another 'political' yet stanceless song focusing on modern anxiety, like the theme of the birds

ends with birds chirping like fade together

that is all i have for you. feel free to add yours or tell me what you think. i'll come back to this in january

[uriekukistan]

🎵+Megumi!!!!! >:) and itafushi!!! (You already know !!! <3 my precious guys fr) (you can also do Yuuji I would not be opposed at all)

ofc ofc i have giant playlists for all of these 🤞 as i should (i keep associating every song ever with them GUH)

for megumi <3

im on a big bring me the horizon kick rn, but doomed is so him especially rn, but honestly i'd say that he was already like this song To Me alas...some lyrics for ur consideration

and this from the special intro they do live that i didn't know existed until today

& then my personal hc, i think he would listen to green day🤞 boulevard of broken dreams tops his spotify wrapped every year (if you ask him abt it he's gonna say his fav is smth else so he doesn't seem like a fake fan for liking one of their most popular songs)

for yuuji <3

more bring me the horizon? well...yes. tell me throne is not THE yuuji song. lyrically at least.

except he is Not forgiving sukuna & i dont blame him for that.

for vibes, スマイリを探して (where is smiley) by serani poji bc well....

(my yuuji playlist gives me WHIPLASH)

for itafushi <3

i come to you with more bmth because follow you is the most itafushi song to ever have itafushied

UGH you cant even argue w that like that SO THEM every time i think abt it i turn into a PUDDLE

this is just an instrumental song but it's so beautiful and in my head i have made it into an itafushi song. you walk around...shining like the sun by hammock. dkjfghkf its so itafushi to me that it's featured in my itafushi fic where megumi plays guitar. i mean first there's the title. then there's the way it sounds...i believe i described it as a little sad and a little hopeful, but beautiful nonetheless T_T

thank u for the ask!!!! i will show off my character playlists at any chance (a lot of them are under construction but yk it forces me to construct them instead of letting them decay)

[sinisxtea]

DOYOUNG ALBUM THOUGHTS

ok welcome to my album review rant today we're reviewing doyoung's album. it's a quite lengthy album too. tbh surprised at the amount of songs i actually enjoyed because ballards are usually a hit or miss for me, because i don't like hearing just straight vocals.

(im a doyoung stan i must stream yknow)

not going to review every song on the album bc i tuned out some of them... 😭

little light

upon first listen, i lowkey almost tuned it out, i'm sorry... but second time listening to it, since it is the title track, i'm paying more attention to it. the song is very j-pop coded?? in my opinion, the ballad-rock kinda vibe does fit doyoung and this was what i expected, but a teeny tiny part of me was hoping for a little bit more sm core style of music, with the experimental stuff, but this works too. havent watched the mv yet but i'll check it out soon, maybe look up the lyrics translation, cause songs have more meaning when you understand the lyrics too.

from little wave

tell me why it's giving mario kart... imagine listening to this while driving on rainbow road damn. no but this is such a car cruising driving song, and i pretty much liked it immediately upon first listen. the chorus is SO GOOD??? like doyoungs vocals shine on the whole album cause he's that talented but this one really demonstrates it i think. you can disagree with me lmfao idc. it's kinda giving 80s love ballad, and that's such a beautiful vibe of music i really like it a lot...

time machine

lowkey was a surprise to see mark and taeyeon featured on the album, but i actually really like this one. the vocals hard carried obviously, but mark + doyoung combo really hits hard lowkey they should do more stuff like this together. i'm a sucker for male-female vocal duets, so this one was so cute and sweet. i know why mark considers himself an "ARTIST" not a rapper lmfao. (also im waiting for mark's solo album...... SM PLEASE)

lost in california

THIS IS THE SONG I WILL BE REPLAYING OVER AND OVER THIS MONTH I THINK. hello it's so good why wasn't this the title track? it reminds me of "i don't think that i like her anymore" by charlie puth and that song hits hard. also the vibes are immaculate. seems way more sm core than ballad so obviously i prefer this lmfao... love the little harpsicord instrumental too that was so neat. sm pick ur title tracks better thanks.

rest

i got more appreciative of the song after the chorus came on, but it gives like jpop vibes?? jpop really has that hard metal/rock aspect, and this album has quite a few songs like that. all in all, this wasn't really a favorite favorite, but it definitely stood out to me because it wasn't a ballad lmfaooo. didn't add this one to my playlist but i do think it's pretty good.

dallas love field

this is so country coded guys...... and guess who actually listens to country? me anyways neat cause it's called dallas love field... but regardless i quite enjoyed this a lot, and seeing the country core vibes radiate off of this... like damn im gonna make doyoung cowboy edits soon just watch. (for legal reasons thats a joke im a doyoung stan don't come for me) the only weird part is the bridge, with all the voices chiming in, but other than that i like the phillips phillips vibes that remind me of my 2010s era.

[stompandhollar]

The Only Son of The Falling Snow!! what a beautiful title, please tell us more, what ship, what fandom and whats the general plot??

<3

omg raniyah i was HOPING you’d have pick this one 🥹

So the title is the name of a song by Bear’s Den, and it reminds me so much of Jon. Its so gentle and somber, but with so much under the surface.

It’s a Jon/Satin fic (🙊) bc i couldn’t help myself, and it’s a canon complacent fic set right after Jon comes back from the dead. It’s gonna be multi-chapter, with HEAVY Jon introspection. I just love writing deep dives of characters through fics it’s my kryptonite.

Vibe is lots of nights watch brothers shenanigans (Edd and Pyp shine, and so does Sam and ofc Tormund) and Jon grappling with 8,000 moral issues at once bc he likes to pick moral quandaries up and carry them around like sticks for no reason.

Snippet:

“It isn’t like that.”

“It could be.”

“Aye, it could be. but as Lord Commander—“

“As Lord Commander,” Pyp laughed, “You can do whatever you want!”

“That doesn’t mean I should.” Jon barked, growing impatient with his company. Why in Seven Hells did they have to gang up on him like this?

“But you do want to,” Edd stated, carefully. It was half a question, half a statement.

Jon looked between the three men, sizing them up. The bloody lot of them, they cared for him. They cared for him, and this wasn’t a trap. To hell with it.

“Of course I want to.” He sighed. The two fools beside him slapped him on the back, but Jon continued. “I’m attracted to him, but it wouldn’t be right. I don’t want to sleep with him, no, Gods, I want to sleep with him, but, think of the boy—!”

“He’s older than you.”

“He’s my steward! It’d have been backwards had I been sleeping with Lord Commander Mormont, yea?”

“Only because he’s as old as dirt.”

“Edd, you aren’t listening. My position affords me less freedom, despite what power might imply. I cant prowl around like a damned dog in heat! Acting on whatever urges—“

“If I may,” Sam interjected.

Snow paused. He never barreled through his side comments like he did Ed and Pyp’s.

“You may.”

“Were he a woman. Would you feel the same?”

There was no need to think over this scenario. The Old Gods of his father had less… rules, then The Seven. It wasn’t shame that stopped Jon in his tracks when it came to Satin— It was duty.

“Even more so.”

“Then don’t act,” Said Sam. Jon watched his gaze steadily. “You’re behaving honorably, Jon. It’d be different if you had feelings for him, real feelings…”

“I don’t. I care for him, of course I do, I care for all of you, but—“

“But you don’t want to sleep with any of us.” Edd smirked. Jon put a hand in his shoulder and let himself relax with a smile.

“Kill the rumors.” Jon nodded appreciatively at Sam. “His standing with the brothers has shoddy footing as it is.”

(don’t listen to Jon. He does have feelings 🫡)

[slimeclimbtime]

RANKING SF9 TITLE TRACKS

disclaimer that this is for fun do not get offended i beg

1. Bibora i feel like this one's just a given. it's catchy, gets straight into the groove without any pauses, rides out very satisfyingly and everyone has even lines! dance is fun (am so mad we never got a dance practice for it), song sounds great—not generic, but not so experimental its offputting either. it's also a house song like come on you guys know i LOVE house music. the only thing that could've made this song better is if we got an ot9 version but alas. a girl can dream. 10/10 this is 100% my no 1 song on spotify

2. Now or Never a CLASSIC. moody and then gets right to the dancefloor. the dance really elevates this song—its SO smooth??? the chorus is iconic (hwiyoung lines too!!) and it ends really nicely as well, no crazy caveats or anything. this song made waves when it came out AS IT SHOULD!!

3. Don't Worry, Be Happy am i biased bc this was my first comeback with sf9 and the inseong promotions got me hooked? yes. but is this song bad? not even close. im so glad they didn't go with a ballad comeback bc even if this song is very chill and doesn't really leave that much of an impression its so happy and im glad sf9 kinda went back to a more lighthearted concept (like mamma mia and scream)

4. Tear Drop so sparkly so unique. love the motifs of tears and the sad sexy vibe we just get from the whole thing. the choreo is ICONIC (apu) and the fits this era were INSANE. the drop was very satisfying, loved how it bounced around in my ears.

5. Puzzle this one mightve been a miss to more people than i thought it would be, but honestly out of all the d flat minor titles that sf9 has an unusual abundance of, this one's my fav. choreo is sick, song gets stuck in my head easily (puzzling puzzling puzzling AAAA), just overall a fun, coasty song that doesn't feel too underwhelming

6. Enough one of the rare slow tempo tracks, this song caught me when it first came out. the autotune gives it so much character, and the dance is addicting and the chorus gets stuck in my head so easily LOL. i think this one mightve been slept on a little more by some but it deserved better

7. Fanfare this track is so weird but i like the melody LOL. the song def leans a little more on the experimental side of things. catch me saying "shh, uh, fanfare ullyeora" so many times. the way they pronounce fanfare is adorable too

8. Scream this song is so dirty and barely even hides it in the way that it seems innocuous on paper and then you actually pay attention for a bit and its way dirtier than expected. chorus didn't really get me, but the verses are my fav and i love the summer concept!

9. Mamma Mia this song is so cute that's all i really have to say. its so 2010s esque in vibes and song type, even if its taking inspiration from grease. dawon's hair was a tragedy but the song made up for it (also FUN HAIR COLORS)

10. Trauma the drop was a little underwhelming for me but i really liked the slow bass beat we had going on in this song :)

11. Summer Breeze the verses saved this song bc i don’t really like the chorus that much at all. the high note is really good tho

12. Good Guy putting good guy this low hurts, but their other songs are just so much stronger. choreo ate tho

13. O Sole Mio it's okay, also suffers from the underwhelming issue that trauma has. its a good song, but not exactly title track enough for me

14. Roar im an EDM nut and putting roar this low? a crime. but it feels like its missing some oomph for me

15. RPM on the other side of EDM nut, this song's drop is just... not doing it for me. the verses are great tho

16. Shine Together im not big on softer stuff so this is just a matter of taste

17. Easy Love same reasoning as shine together. its cute, but just not my thing

18. Savior im ngl idk if this even counts? but its also just underwhelming lol

[gladiatorcunt]

Didn’t know you were a kpop fan babe 😧 Kinda not surprised, but still… Your faves?

“kinda not surprised” erm

(i got into it like around 2015 and i typically go for 3rd gen to earlier when it comes to music, also i don’t interact with any fandoms on social media anymore since i’ve gotten older (and i don’t rlly keep up with the idols themselves) beyond what edits i see or what gets so popular i have to see it on my fyp)

red velvet (my girlies)

loona (haseul could’ve been the baekhyun of loona if they used her properly beyond 1 line)

exo (masterclass in discography and actually being a capital i idol but also mess and mismanagement, arguably a big part of some of their issues is the tension between sk and china, etc.)

vixx (still a fair bit underrated imo when you consider how long they’ve been active, their vocal ability, being known for their concepts, like ughhhhh leo is one of the only idols who i will be like ‘that’s my husband and we have 6 kids <3’ about)

monsta x (very solid discography, talented, rappers that genuinely have something which there a lot of rappers in kpop groups just bc they’re trying to get appeal, still mildly irritated over the wonho thing bc the way companies deal with stuff like that when the idol is innocent is just so annoying. queen is one of the best bsides in kpop history.)

ramble under the cut

honorary shinee (jonghyun is my golden standard male vocalist), boa, snsd, sunmi, btob mentions

unfortunately jay park is cute and i do like mommae, dean’s like one album he did (i didn’t listen to the other one if that even was a full second album), i used to fw hyuna but she’s pissed me the fuck off

fave time out jail ig: bts (just really grew out of being into them ig since boy with luv came out, some of their tiktok fanbase proudly bullying people and how i feel about the quality of their music now (missing house of cards type quality) + the western validation debate + being on tumblr when people made jungkook’s whole personality at 19 yrs old being goo goo ga ga over banana milk and having a noona kink)), nct (the t*eil thing, but imo if people like that want to hide then they will so i think at least some of the members didn’t know, i don’t keep up with that so i’m not sure if any other info has since come out. i believe he did it with how things are rn and as a csa survivor i just feel a bit gross with being overly supportive of them)

and then there is the can of worms that is the group named after colors (another case where imo they were better earlier on, playing with fire >>>>)

i don’t really have any 4th gen faves, i love ateez and i like some stray title tracks (as in random not stray kids lmao) & bsides from groups here and there

i have mixed feelings about 4-5th gen (imo music is not the focus so much as international reach and social media presence), riize (wonbin is so fine though like sm employs pretty boy idols and refuses to manage them properly) and new jeans (i really wished i liked their music because literally everyone else does), ive’s title tracks are pretty solid (i don’t know anything about their bsides), le sserafim is ehhhhhhhh (i think i literally only like anti fragile + they do need to improve technically for me), enhyphen (i will say is the closet to being a fave for me because i eat up their obsessive songs that are apparently about their webtoon???????? and that one jyp cover (i assume bc he was there) bangs, also again they’re fine 😖)

for the life of me i can’t fully commit to aespa but their concept is cool (and the lore should stick to them and not be attached to every sm group imo)

talking about the songs i like & listen to regularly/industry opinions is a different discussion (that i dipped into too much here) i fear so i’ll shut up!!! i could probably get back into it if a company debuted a group and was like ‘안녕하세요! we are D.I.L.F!’ and the members are all at least in their mid 40’s and they groan when they try to bow

[burgundykicks]

1. "I love you ,its ruining my life" WAS NOT EXPECTION THAT IN FORNIGHT ,A TRACK 1?

I absolutely love the beat tho and I'm so exited for the music vid

2. HOLY SHIT THIS GD TITLE TRACK IS GIVING RED TO ME?

LIKE CAN YOU HEAR THE RED? I MF LOVE IT

"This ain't the Chelsea Hotel ,we're modern idiots"

"You left your typewriter at my apartment ,straight from the Tortured Poets department"

NOT WHAT I WAS EXPECTING DAMN

3. "I clean up sandcastles he destroys"

NOOOOOOO

"Left all these broken parts ,and told me I'm better off"

STOP IT PLEASE

4. "For a minute I knew cosmic love ,now I'm down back crying at the gym"

TELL ME THATS NOT WOLFSTAR/JEGULUS CODED?!?!?

Actually this whole song is giving wolfstar

"Everything comes out ,teenage petulance"

SIRIUS AND THE PRANK

5. TRACK FIVE OH GOD

"How much sad did you ,think I had ,did I have in me?"

STOPPP HELPNO ILL CRY

(INTERRUPTION TO SAY SHES JUST ANNOUNCED 15 EXTRA SONGS HOLY FUCK?!?!?!? SHES A MACHINE BRO)

6. "I only know these people raise you ,to cage you"

THIS SONG OMDS IT HITS SO HARD

"I'm having his baby ,no I'm not ,but you should see your faces"

Giggled bc that's rlly funny

7. "Now pretty baby I'm running back home to you ,fresh out the slammer I know who my first call will be to"

AHHHHHHHH

8. FLORENCEEEEEE

"I need to forget so take me to florida ,I got some regrets ill Bury them in florida"

9. "My boredoms bone deep"

"Am I allowed to cry"

"Someone told me ,there's no such thing as bad thoughts. Only your actions talk"

"If its make beleive ,why does it feel like a vow"

MARAUDERS FANDOM THOUGH

10. "You don't get to tell me about sad"

NO OMG THE WAY SHE SCREAMS THE TITLE HURTS SO MUCH

"Is it a wonder I broke let's hear one more joke ,then we could all just laugh until I cry"

"Who's afraid of little old me, well you should be"

"So tell me everything is not about me ,but what if it is? Then say they didn't do it to hurt me ,but what if they did? I wanna snarl and show you just how disturbed this has made me. You wouldn't last an hour in the asylum where they raised me."

Fuck

11. "But your good lord doesn't need to lift a finger ,I can fix him (no really I can)"

"He had a halo of the highest grade ,he just hadn't met me yet"

12. "Black and white ,all those plot twists"

The noble and most ancient house of black.

"I wish I could un recall ,how we almost had it all"

"It was legendary ,it was momentary"

13. TRACK 13!

"Cuz I'm a real tough kid ,I can handle my shit"

"Lights camera bitch smile ,even when you wanna die"

"I'm so depressed I act like it's my birthday everyday"

"I cry alot but I am so productive, it's an art"

"Cuz I'm miserable ,and no one even knows"

14. "Was any of it true ,gazing at me starry eyed"

"And I don't even want you back I just want to know ,if rusting my sparkling summer was the goal"

"And I would have died for your sins ,but instead I just died inside"

15. "Honestly ,who are we to fight the alchemy"

"This happens once every few lifetimes"

16. Last track before bonuses/the doubke album omgggg

"All your life did you know, you'd be picked like a rose"

"No one in my small town thought I'd see the lights of manhattan"

"You look like ,stevie nicks in 75 ,the hair and lips ,crowd goes wild at her fingertips ,a half moon shine ,a full eclipse"

MARAUDERSMARAUDERSMARAUDERSMARAUDERS

"Promise to be dazzling"

"You look like taylor swift in this life were loving it ,you've got edge she never did ,the futures bright ,dazzling"

I'LL POST A RANKING WHEN I DECIDE BUT AHHHHHH

[dangerouscommiesubversive]

hhhhhello hey hi !!!! I'm the podficcer that asked permission to podfic your ghost series and -- I had a strange question for the sangcheng one!!???? I keep thinking about nhs alive in 1920s NY speaking in some 1920s slang and I can't help but uhhhh picture him talking in a 1920s NY accent but is he FROM ny?!!!! 😂 a NY accent keeps popping up every time I read his lines out loud, and I'm not sure if that's weird, so I wanted to ask for some feedback!!!!

for jiangzaix3 I am finished recording the first two chapters and 2/3rds finished with the last chapter. I just have to edit in music! the accompanying Playlist is amazing! I also wanted to ask if you had any other additional songs or Playlist for the other three fics or if I should just pull from the one? I have an idea for which songs go with which stories -- jiangzai x3 has at least 3 songs lol bc there are too many good ones!

thanks again for granting permission! i am attempting to get these done, for spooky season is upon us, but I will try my best!

Hello, my dear! 💜💜💜 I'm so excited to hear your podfics--prior to getting into MDZS, the only person I'd ever heard read my own work was me, so between you and the person recording "this humble fox" I'm practically basking in the exciting novelty of it.

Anyway, that's not a strange question at all, it's a very good one! No, despite his tendency to hang out in fashionable areas of New York City when he was alive, Huaisang is not from New York, he's actually from New Hampshire. The Nies emigrated to the USA significantly before any of the other cultivation clans and initially settled down in the White Mountains, where they made quite a lot of money as trappers. They eventually opened up the butcher shop rather further south in the actual populated areas, and Huaisang attended a private school, so I think the most appropriate accent for him would be what's called a Mid-Atlantic. If you're unfamiliar, look up clips from Bringing Up Baby on YouTube--Cary Grant and Katherine Hepburn are the shining examples of the early 20th century Mid-Atlantic accent, which was a very mannered, deliberate way of speaking. (The house Mingjue had built for him, the one into which Jiang Cheng eventually moves, is in Georgia, because Huaisang hates to be cold and loves to garden and placing him in Georgia meant the Jiangs could maybe keep an eye on him.)

The Yus, meanwhile, settled right outside Boston, in Newton, and Yu Ziyuan did her level best to instill her children with the value of speaking "properly," so Jiang Cheng speaks with...about half of a modern upper-class Boston accent, which shades into a more classic Southern when he relaxes, since he did grow up in Georgia. (The Southern accent gets noticeably more prominent when he's talking to/arguing with Wei Wuxian, who was born in Kentucky and spent the first seven or so years of his life learning to speak from Cangse Sanren and Wei Changze--Cangse had a thick accent, it was one of the things Yu Ziyuan disliked about her and her son after her.

As for music, the other three fics don't have specific playlists--"Jiangzai x3" was fully written in a sort of mad hallucinatory dash, and the playlist sprang up as part of that--but I do have general WangXian and XiYao playlists, if you'd like to look through those for inspiration, and of course all of the chapter titles for "Gimme Shelter" are themselves song titles. Unfortunately, I have sorely neglected Jiang Cheng and Nie Huaisang as far as playlists go, and I do need to remedy that. In the meantime, if it helps at all, Huaisang listened to a lot of jazz when he was alive--think Duke Ellington, Louis Armstrong, any luminary of the Harlem Renaissance who was recording before 1927--and loved to go out dancing. I'm honestly not sure what sort of music Jiang Cheng listens to, or if he habitually listens to much at all.

[shinegone]

subject  line :  five  songs  associated  with  your  muse. from :  @wxrldkiller​ cc :  @winifrd​ , @pattyurs​ , @derryleader​ , @shotcalled​ , @trshmouth​ , @nonvia​ , &  anyone  else  !

01 /   great  escape  ( pt 1 ) - crippled  black  phoenix

    there’s  another  world  /  breaking  through beyond  the  veil  /  i  forgot  my  sins the  sound  of  wind  /  in  my  wings.

02 /   where  is  my  mind ? - safari  riot  ft. grayson  sanders  ( pixies  cover )

    with  your  feet  on  the  air  and  your  head  on  the  ground try  this  trick  and  spin  it,  yeah your  head  will  collapse  /  but  there’s  nothing  in  it and  you’ll  ask  yourself  [ chorus ]  where  is  my  mind ?

03 /   pyramid  song - radiohead

    i  jumped  into  the  river  /  black-eyed  angels  swam  with  me a  moon  full  of  stars  and  astral  cars and  all  the  things  i  used  to  see all  my  lovers  were  there  with  me  /  all  my  past  and  futures

04 /   kashmir - led  zepplin

     oh,  let  the  sun  beat  down  upon  my  face and  stars  fill  my  dream  /  i’m  a  traveler  of  both  time  and  space to  be  where  i  have  been  /  to  sit  with  elders  of  the  gentle  race this  world  has  seldom  seen  /  they  talk  of  days  for  which  they  sit  and  wait all  will  be  revealed.

05 /  life  song - the  black  angels

   how  can  i  explain with  no  voice  /  with  no  chance as  i’m  travelling  upside  down  /  into  a  world  of  the  unknown

obligatory  mention /  shine  on  you  crazy  diamond  ( part 1-9 ) - pink  floyd

   come  on  you  raver,  you  seer  of  visions come  on  you  painter,  you  piper,  you  prisoner,  and  shine

[storiesoftaylor]

Treacherous (Taylor's Version)

Written by: Taylor Swift & Dan Wilson Produced by: Dan Wilson Length: 4:02

Here's what Taylor had to say about this song, "I brought in this idea because I wanted to explore the idea that something could be dangerous, and enticing at the same time. You know, but the positive side of that, like I believe this can work. It's got this big bridge at the end that kind of sounds like a second chorus, it's got all these vocals in the background, and it says, "nothing safe is worth the drive". And to me, that says so much about this album, because I really do feel like even if something hurt you if you made you feel something it was worth it.

HIDDEN MESSAGE IN THE LYRICS: "Won't stop til it's over"

The amount of research I did for this song is crazy. Swifties everywhere have different theories of who this song is about. Some think is about "Mr. Scarf Boy", others think "Mr. Expert at Sorry", and even some think it's about "Mr. Paper Airplanes". I'm not going to speculate who this one is about, bc I honestly have no idea... So I'm just going to tell you what the song means.

The word "Treacherous" literally means: guilty of or involving betrayal or deception. So by the title, we know that this love was based on lies and deception. We know that this guy told her things that he never planned on doing, or made promises he never planned on keeping. That alone makes me think it's Scarf Boy. But who knows?

[Verse One] Put your lips close to mine As long as they don't touch Out of focus, eye to eye 'Til the gravity's too much So here she is saying that she wants to be near this guy, but she doesn't trust herself with him. She's saying to put his lips close, but don't touch. Maybe she wouldn't be able to stop herself. And I'll do anything you say If you say it with your hands And I'd be smart to walk away But you're quicksand Here we learn that Taylor is at this man's beck and call, she will do anything for him. He means a lot to her, but she also knows it's not right. She knows this isn't the situation or relationship that she should be in. But she can't walk away because every time she tries, she slips further into his grasp. Just like quicksand.

[Chorus] This slope is treacherous This slope is lying to me This path is reckless This path is a bad idea This slope is treacherous And I-I-I like it But I'm all in

[Verse Two] I can't decide if it's a choice Getting swept away So what she is saying here is, "I can't decide if falling for you was my own choice, or you were just so captivating, I couldn't help but to fall". I hear the sound of my own voice Asking you to stay This is so sad to me All we are is skin and bone Trained to get along Forever going with the flow But you're friction Going with the flow and friction are completely opposing ideas. Friction is not going with the flow, friction is working AGAINST the flow.

[Chrous] This slope is treacherous This path is reckless This slope is treacherous And I-I-I like it

[Bridge] Two headlights shine through the sleepless night And I will get you a-, get you alone Your name has echoed through my mind And I just think you should, think you should know That nothing safe is worth the drive And I will follow you, follow you home I'll follow you, follow you home

[Chorus] This hope is treacherous This daydream is dangerous This hope is treacherous And I-I-I, I-I-I, I-I-I-

[Bridge] Two headlights shine through the sleepless night And I will get you a-, get you alone Your name has echoed through my mind And I just think you should, think you should know That nothing safe is worth the drive And I will follow you, follow you home I'll follow you, follow you home I'll follow you, follow you home I'll follow you, follow you home

[Outro] This slope is treacherous I-I-I like it

[mint-yooxgi]

ou me gäwd that prompt. INTERESTING YOU SHOULD REALLY DO IT IF YOU WANNA

Just wanna tell you something bc i came back from watching kai and his interesting performances live😭😭😭

the variety of people and fandoms you find everywhere.,. i literally saw a woman who looked in her 50’s-60’s in the concert with an exolightstick and so many nct lightsticks, nct meaning the cubes and wayv’s sticks 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭sobbing i saw so many carats changing the colour of the lights contineuosuly, i saw shinee bongs, i saw atinysticks, i saw my phone storage dying…

man the power kim jongin holds, the crowd literally started chanting the words ‘kim jongin’ the moment it was announced he’d be performing 😭😭 i even managed to get a kai banner from some lady i enquired who came from a literal neighbour country just for this perfomance 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

jackie, if you listen to astro, oh my girl, oneus, kep1er, or kai please reccomend songs 😔😔😔HEUHFUhfeihfeihfeiojef thank you for listening to my concert rant 🥹

Oh, for sure I am!!! I just finished making the moodboard but I have three different versions I'm debating between, so we'll see how that goes. Might pop onto the discord to ask people's opinions on them, see which one they prefer hehehe

Ahhhh that's so fun!!! I'm so happy for you and to hear you had such a wonderful experience!! Honestly, I've met so many nice people at concerts since I've gotten into k-pop, there's truly no other experience like it!!! Isn't it wonderful to be able to celebrate good music with one another? I think so!!!

OMG Astro!!! I haven't kept up with them in a dog's age, but I really liked them when they first debuted!! I still watch their comebacks though!! My favourite songs were always Cat's Eye, Hide & Seek, Baby, and Crazy Sexy Cool! I'm sorry I don't have more recommendations for you though!! I don't listen to the other groups much and I've only heard Kai's title tracks haha

I feel like tagging @ninibears-erigom for anything Kai related is getting redundant at this point lol Ayla is definitely the person to ask about anything and everything related to him!!

[mrskurono]

title: Maybe, I’m Afraid || Takahiro Hanamaki x fem!Reader

a/n: this is self indulgent af bc I want to dance with Makki on my birthday which is today but I’m pretending it’s not today + lovelytheband makes me think of Makki + I ain’t posting anything else all day long

word count: 2.2k

tags: fluff, angsty undertones, friends to lovers trope, casual alcohol consumption, not much just dialog and dancing

character(s): Takahiro Hanamaki (hq)

Dancing in your party dress. 

You were singing me some Frank Sinatra as you wept.

This was swanky. 

Makki admitted this was a pretty spectacular birthday bash. Beat having a few beers at the bar for his birthday. That was his style. And this was your style. It always had been and always would be.

A tug on his tie as he raised the champagne flute for another swig and wandered around. Through crowds of familiar and unfamiliar. Friends and family. Makki knew each face for the most part and why they would be here celebrating your birthday. Even coworkers that he only heard once or twice. 

Everyone seemed so important. So why was he here?

Crowds thinning out. First when they’d separate when the man moved by them. Now Makki looked around to find most of the party guests weren’t around at all. He shrugged though. Figuring Mattsun didn’t mind him wandering around his home as he’d crashed with his bud a few times.

Hum of the music playing downstairs drown out by the chatter and walls. Makki laughed as he ascended to the second story about Mattun’s house being as quiet as a morgue. Jokes aside he didn’t think much of finding anyone up on the back balcony of the giant home. 

After a bit of mingling Makki found himself unable to find you. And the lackluster to parade around with all these people he hardly saw drained him faster than anything. He was here for you but he couldn’t steal your attention away like you were teenagers. Adults didn’t do that. Adults had boundaries. You both were adults now so Makki thought this was fine.

Fine as being alone again was. Makki trailed his fingers along the oaken table top pushed up against the wall of the hallway. Without a fleck of dust of course. He shrugged it off and grabbed at the door handle of the sliding door to let himself out for a breath of fresh air.

Hinted at the sound of the downstairs music drifting upwards. Makki giggled to himself, “Heh, Mattsun getting the cops called on him for being too loud would be-”

“Makki!”

Stopping in his tracks the man whipped around to see your familiar face across the patio. Surely as shocked as he was. Both of you stared at one another for a moment before Makki continued to shut the door much softer now behind him, “What are....why aren’t you downstairs?”

“Why aren’t you downstairs?” You hand his question back, “Did someone send you up here? I thought I asked Mattsun not to say anything and-”

Quickly he shook his head waving your questions away, “No. Mattsun has no idea, I just came up here for some air is all.” He stopped and looked over at the empty champange glass on the edge of the patio, “Do you need another? I can go get you something if you’d-”

“Heh no,” You smile, relaxing back into yourself after he said no one was looking for you, “This stuff gives me heartburn anyways.”

Makki ambled up to the edge of the balcony with you. Seeing a clear view of all the on goings below, “Were you stalking people up here? This would be a great place to drop something from.”

Glancing at the man leaning into the railing next to you. Only a second goes by before you lean into your elbows and gaze out at the backyard with everything going on, “Nah. I wanted to return half this crap anyways when it’s over. Cleaning stains out woulda been too hard.”

He stopped poking fun at the party itself for a second. Chin resting in his palm when he casted a look over in your direction. Instead of the shimmering party hostess he saw coming in earlier. Now all Makki .saw his his best friend slumped into their friend’s deck railing overlooking something that didn’t quite resemble a true party.

“...what’s the deal huh?” Makki’s brow arched up, “This isn’t really your thing. So why the big bash?”

Swallowing a deep breath. Only to be let out in one big sigh. You push off the railing and rock back and forth on your feet childishly, “I dunno...I didn’t want to have a birthday this year.”

“Then don’t have one and do something small?”

“No...I don’t mean the party part.” You stop rocking and settle flat on your feet while looking out at nothing in particular, “I didn’t want to have a birthday....didn’t wanna, think about me I guess.”

“So you threw a giant party?” Makki snorted at the logic.

You shook your head, “No, mom brought it up. Then Mattsun caught wind. Iwa agreed. One thing lead to another. Suddenly there was a party to celebrate ‘me’ and I was placed in the middle of it with a cake to boot.”

Stepping away from the balcony Makki turned around no longer interested in everything going on under the two of you. Instead he leaned back and looked lazily over at you but still with a slight grin, “You certainly look like a cake topper.”

“Shut up,” You add insult to injury when you roll your eyes and push him away from you.

“What, I’m just saying-” Makki shrugged frankly, “You look more like you should be in the middle of those people dancing. Not up here alone with an empty glass.”

For a second you look at the empty champagne glass. A song comes on below. Drowned by the distance. But clearly you can hear what is it. Even if this didn’t feel like your party. The music as yours. Slowly you begin humming softly before looking over at him with a smile, “I’m not alone though. You’re right here.”

He didn’t mean the snort laugh. Makki quickly back tracking to not make it seem so bad, “I mean- I’m just surprised. This seems so swanky. Doesn’t feel like a thing I’d be invited to.”

“Swanky?” You look at him.

“I picked up a word a day calendar.” Makki looks at you, “But I’m still in January.”

“It’s April.”

“Like I said....Swanky.”

Humming softer you don’t look out at the party. Opting to turn around and face up towards the rest of your friend’s nice house. Arms crossed over your bust as you listen carefully to the song below, “...I guess...the playlist is nice. But...I’d rather just be with those I love. Maybe drinking. Maybe dancing. None of this really....that is if I wanted to have a birthday that is.”

Sideways glance in your direction, Makki looked at the one person he might consider his best friend. Aside from Mattsun. You were his partner in crime for so much. Since you were kids. And now you were standing at a party you didn’t like and Makki hadn’t even thought he’d be invited to. How alone did he have to be to feel like this was ok when he was standing right next to you.

“...Maybe I can take you out later. Like- This weekend or something,” Makki shrugged nonchalantly, “You can wear the dress, if you want. But I’m not wearing this stupid suit.”

His offer brought a bit of a grin to your face. Casting your gaze over to him and admiring the fact he was quite dashing in such a get up. Neither of you had been fancied up at the same time since Mattsun’s house warming party over a year ago. And that itself was brief.

“It would be a shame if we both look this good and no one danced with us.” You off handedly comment.

Again Makki’s brow raises, “Birthday girl should go snag a dance then.”

“Nah,” You toss a look back down behind you, “I don’t want to dance with anyone down there.”

Makki snorted, “Iwa might be in the bathroom.”

“Nah Iwa has two left feet.”

“Mattsun had his shoes shined for this. They’re as clean as that table in the hallway.”

“Mattsun is a left foot.”

“Nice.” Makki high fived you for the zinger. His laugh short lived though as he looked at you even as you were distracted elsewhere, “...Don’t know what time it is in Argentina but who knows Skype Oikawa and he might give you a dance.”

The sentiment was nice. Really each of your friends would have danced with you if you asked. After all these years you still considered them some of your closest friends. But none of them where who you thought about when you imagined a dance a top a balcony in the midst of a party.

“You talk too much.” You break away to find Makki staring at you, “But I don’t care. I like listening to you.”

Makki’s lopsided smile didn’t fade but he looked down with a little shrug, “Maybe I’m just afraid of saying the wrong thing so I keep talking.”

“Well.” You looked up at him, “If you could say something that scares you, what would it be?”

Tongue held. Makki had a few. Ok, a lot. But seeing you stand in front of him with the gentle melody of the music drifting upwards. He really only thought of one.

“Will you dance with me? If I weren’t afraid of saying anything that is.”  You step closer to him. Closing the gap between the two of you as one hand found his. With ease your fingers laced with his like they always had in the past. Makki gave your hand a squeeze and looked at you, “And if you could say something you’re afraid of?”

You look up at him, “I’d ask you to dance with me.”

“Not a better party?” Makki quips.

“A better party would mean dancing with you.”

He can’t help the softening smile playing on his lips. Makki is certain he can feel his heartbeat in his throat now but it’s all to be pushed aside when he pulls you into him. 

Arms wrapped around your shoulders in the longest hug. You share in the gesture when your arms loop under his armpits. Nice and snug. It takes less time to find you both swaying to the hum of the music than it did for you to embrace one another.

“...it’s been a little hard.” Makki mutters, lips pressed to the top of your head.

“...I was afraid you wouldn’t come.” You reply quietly. Hugging him tighter as your cheek presses against the warm button of his shirt. You can feel his warmth under the layers of faux look.

“What are you talking about?” Makki pulled away a little offended to hear such a thing, “Why wouldn’t I? You’re my friend.”

The smile you first had dips to a frown, “...we stopped talking so much. It felt like we lost touch...I guess, running away from my birthday. I thought I could go back to being your friend.”

“You have always been my friend,” He shakes his head, expressing a little more concern than he meant to as he squeezed you tighter, “It’s been a little tough. Loosing my job. Finding another. It’s been tough. I- I didn’t want you to be embarrassed by me. I thought I shouldn’t stay. That’s why-” He stopped, embarrassing himself all over again, “-that’s why I came up here. I was thinking about leaving so you could have your party.”

“Takahiro,” He never realized how weird his named sounded until it came from your lips. Saying it though yanked his attention fully on you before him, “I don’t want to be here if you aren’t. I want to spend my birthday with people I love...I want to spend it, with you-”

Urgently Makki leaned down and pressed his hips against yours. 

The first time since freshman year of high school. So many other kisses between that one and now. Lovers. Friends. Cheeks. Lips. Back of hands. Tops of heads. So many kisses between that one you shared freshman year and now. 

All this time you thought you’d be afraid. Afraid to feel this again. Too loose this again. But when Makki’s kiss slowly disappeared and left the two of you looking at each other. Suddenly you weren’t afraid.

Hand coming up around his neck you pull the man back down to you. Kissing him all over again. Knowing it wasn’t the first time but set that it wouldn’t be the last time now.

“...I’ll always be there.” Makki muttered against your lips, “Even if you don’t want to celebrate your birthday. I’ll be here. Dancing with you and kissing you until you tell me to go away.”

“What if I never tell you to go away?” You look at him, fingers curling in the hairs at the nape of his neck, “And, what if I want to celebrate my birthday every year with you.”

Suddenly relieved he didn’t leave. Makki pulled you not only into him but also for the third kiss of the night. Grinning against your lips, “You don’t even have to dance with me in your party dress. Just dance with me and I’ll kiss you every day of the year, plus your birthday. And I won’t make you drink champagne.”

[janiedean]

Hi, you're very good at explaining stuff so I was wondering if you could write something about how Brienne ending up as someone's bodyguard/in their kingsguard or whatever isn't a good ending for her (even if the person is supposedly worthy?) Thank you!

I think I went into it more in depth back in the day in case it's under the janie writes meta tag but in short:

there is a thing named character development which means that if brienne starts the series wanting to be in renly's kg then ending the series being in someone else's kg... makes no sense

specifically: brienne wants to be in renly's kg because she doesn't literally see any other way to be in songs/be the closest thing to a knight she can get/be near the man she loves

breaking it more in depth: - brienne is in love with renly because other than being her type he's also the one person who treated her with some basic decency like not even WELL just with some basic decency - renly knows that and he admittedly said he kept her around bc he knew she was loyal but like... he didn't care about her - brienne thinks that she can't marry anyone bc she's not marriage material nor love story that is reciprocated material but also that like... she can't be a knight officially bc she's a woman so basically being in renly's kg is the closest she can get to it - which means that basically she's gone like 'okay I'll live a celibate life forever in the shadow of a man I love who doesn't love me back for whom I'd die when he doesn't care either way because it's the closest to being a knight I can manage in this shitty society even if I'm technically a highborn lady and I would actually like to have a family and someone to love me back' - which is... a pretty miserable position to live also I can 100% assure you that thinking you'll never get anyone and you have to settle is like Not Standard Attractive Experience™ and like... so she's an ugly™ woman who can't have what she wants but tries anyway and settles for the best thing

also: kingsguards in asoiaf are coded as bad like I've said it since forever but the kingsguards are rotten organizations, knighthood is a rotten thing and all the good knights in these books are people who are reviled, laughed at or not consider themselves one (jaime brienne and sandor l m a o) and all the ones that are considered good/great/spotless are... bad or shit or gregor clegane and as I've ranted more than once (here and here) brienne is slated to be the in-verse recognized truest/best knight including actually getting the title so if she's that good the point is... she can't be part of a rotten organization now is it

now: the moment renly's toast and she can't be in his kg anymore brienne's sl goes like... she swears herself to the first woman who doesn't treat her like crap/respects her which is supposed to become her own aerys and meets the guy she's canonically in love with by the end of affc with whom she has a storyline that's like... stated to go in a reciprocation way and meeting said guy makes her realize that she sees the world too much in b/w and that guy also gives her a priceless sword and sends her on a quest and oh hey after that she has to... do what killed *his* will to be a good knight ie killing her former mad liege lady bc the choice is that or the guy she loves (I mean going on speculation but that's what was the affc choice) and like... the difference is that she won't throw in the towel and go on and then she'll get to shine and be the knight she was always 100% meant to be and so on

and like... point in brienne's sl: she hates that she's not fit to be a worthy son or daughter for her father bc she was too freakish? well she's going to get both as in if these books don't end with ser lady brienne of tarth being with the man of her dreams I'm eating my own hat because as I ranted above it's all textually there

and guess what... brienne has her own storyline and she's going to come out on top and for that she has to be front and center of her own piece of story

which....... if she gets into a kingsguard doesn't happen because she would swear herself into a life of service for someone else to whom she'd always come second and if it's sansa's it's even worse bc it means she should sacrifice her personal wants, the chance at being with a man she loves, her own title and having a family bc she's serving... the standard attractive lady bc she's idk she owes catelyn a debt? iiii dooon't thiiink so and like since sansa is also stated to have her own love story in a book where it says both beautiful girls and ugly girls get it if the ugly girl gets into the kingsguard then.... what message does it send? the one that dnd did which is not the one grrm wants to send

brienne bodyguarding ppl means that she's playing second fiddle to someone else and sacrificing her own wants and needs because she doesn't believe she deserves them beyond TRYING TO BE A KNIGHT and her arc isn't going like that, so if she starts it like that then there is no way in hell it ends in the exact same place

brienne is stated to be the first anointed lady knight and to do whatever the fuck she wants with it/after and to have her cake and eat it (knighthood and love story) and anything that goes against that/says that she has to end up in a subservient position to someone who only values her skillset and her loyalty goes against everything the text has stated

also, tldr: brienne ending up in a kg has an 'ugly girls have to settle and can't be happy romantically and if they follow their dreams they can only have it halfway and in a demeaning way' message printed the fuck over it in neon letters and that's not what grrm wants to say or ever wanted to imply and I'm dying on this hill /two cents, welcome to my ted talk

[prismwon]

my take on the shine discourse that absolutely no one asked for is that i dont Dislike the song like some twitter unis do (tho i strongly dislike events following). i am tired of non fans acting like its their only hit bc they do have other songs that have ... done pretty well. not As Well but still pretty well . i do objectively get why its always chosen esp for crowds like this (and im glad they had a chance to perform it at such a big concert even though they should have had that chance in 2018 but vaguely gestures whatever). its def not my favorite title but its not their worst. i think i feel about it like that one exo-l in that twitter video w ko ko bop does. im a lil tired of it sometimes but if they sing it i will scream the lyrics along its a mood booster! and also feelin like is the real evil

[preciouspeterbparker]

would it be enough?

okay this isn’t edited or anything, but! here’s a little ficlet i started a few months ago and got the inspiration to finish. 

title from & inspired by “peace” by tsweezy (that song makes me cry every time bc i feel like i’m never gonna get my happily ever after lol, so i had to give peter his)

word count: 1.6k

warnings: depression, happy ending, borderline personality disorder, domesticity, discussions of mental health issues

It’s dark in the bathroom. The only light is coming in from the frosted window over the bathtub, scattered beams pouring through the glass of the shower. There are two bodies underneath the rainfall showerhead, wrapped up in each other. 

The taller of the two men pulls away slightly, reaching for a non-descript bottle of shampoo. He squeezes some into his hand, while his partner pumps a blob of body wash on a loofah. Their actions are like a choreographed dance as the smaller of the two tilts his head into the other’s skilled fingers, his own hand moving to lather at the sculpted chest in front of him. 

Peter sighs at the feeling of Tony’s nails scratching at his scalp. He loves moments like this; where it’s just the two of them enjoying each other’s company, forgetting the world outside of the little bubble of peace they’ve created. Running the loofah across the older man’s shoulder and down his bicep, he watches the way the shadows and light drift over the skin. Carefully, he presses the pad of his thumb to the pale, mottled scar tissue covering the center of Tony’s chest where the reactor used to sit, rubbing gentle circles into the skin. It’s smooth to the touch, bare of the greying curls that are smattered from his pecs all the way down to the ‘v’ of his hips. 

He loves this body- its strength, the way it makes him feel protected, the things it can do to his own. Looking up into Tony’s eyes, he thinks of how much he loves the man it belongs to. “I love you,” he says softly, puckering his lips as he’s maneuvered so that his head is under the water once more. 

“I love you more,” Tony replies automatically. “Close your eyes, Pete.” His hands tilt Peter’s head back and he runs his fingers through the foam saturated curls. Once the front is rinsed, he opens his mouth again, “‘kay you can open now.” He takes his time washing all of the remaining suds out as the younger man continues to run the sudsy netting over his skin. 

Next is the apricot scented conditioner that Peter loves. He applies a handful to the dripping auburn locks and rubs the excess into his own salt and pepper hair. Then Tony clocks the way his boyfriend is grinning goofily up at him. It brings a smile to his face as well. “What’s so funny, why’re you smiling at me like that, Pete?”

Peter’s eyes shine as they meet the older man’s. “You’ve got soap on your nose.” He hands Tony the loofah and runs his fingers under the water so that he can reach up to wipe the white foam from the other’s face. “Got it,” he says softly, letting out a quiet sigh as Tony rubs the sudsy loofah over his shoulders. 

Moments like this, as peaceful as they are, are nothing if not effervescent. Even as he stands there under the warm spray, Peter can feel the chill settling deep in his bones and beginning to weigh him down. There’s a knot forming in his chest. He takes a deep breath and tries not to focus on it. He takes in the smell of their bath products, the feel of his big toe bumping against the inside of Tony’s foot. He listens to the sounds of their breathing, the water swirling down the drain. If he ignores the feeling it will go away. 

It doesn’t quite work, and Tony makes a soft questioning sound in the back of his throat and pulls the shorter man a little closer as he rubs the soapy netting in soft circles over the expanse of his back.

Peter lets his forehead rest on Tony’s collar bone. His chest feels- tight. He takes a slow, shuddering breath and tries to calm himself down. He’s starting to get restless, that weird fizzly feeling thrumming in his muscles. “It won’t always be like this, Tony,” he mutters, self-deprecatingly. His arms wrap around his partner’s waist in an attempt to comfort himself. “I’m...I have bad days. So bad sometimes…” He succumbs to the lump in his throat and lets his voice trail off at the end in an attempt to keep it from breaking. His eyes start to burn. He doesn’t mention that he can almost feel one coming on now- 

How did he go from being perfectly happy to feeling like he’s falling apart in the span of a few minutes? It never fails to make him feel ridiculous, how sensitive he is to his own thoughts. If only he could control it, if only he wasn’t so-

Another gentle noise from Tony, who presses a kiss to the shell of his ear. “I know. I love you every day, Peter. Not just when you’re having a good day.” 

Peter lets out a frustrated noise, followed by a shaky sigh. “But...you’re so good, Tony. You’re, you’re normal, and… And I- I’m never gonna be that, I won’t ever really, truly know what that’s like.” And he won’t. Because even on the good days, he’s always aware that it won’t last. Just like the current situation. “There are days where all I can manage is sitting in front of the TV, wrapped in a blanket.” His voice breaks, and the tears that had been stinging at his eyes begin to fall in earnest. “I’ll- I’ll go days without showering because I can’t bring myself to get up long enough to take one, and I’ll put it off until I literally can’t stand it anymore because I stink so bad.” A  soft sob rips its way up from his lungs, his whole body shaking with the force of it. Fuck-

Tony just rinses him off under the water, eyes full of compassion as he wraps his arms around him. “It’s alright baby, I’m listening. I’m here.”

The young man splutters, gasping as he starts up again, voice quiet. “I’ll split on you, there will be days where I’ll forget how much I love you, forget all the good stuff. Even though I know, Tony I know how much you love me, I do, but there will be days where I’ll swear that you don’t, that you never did.” 

He’s not sure why he’s saying all of this. Maybe because they haven’t actually had this conversation. Tony knows about his mental illness, of course, but honestly, Peter had been content to let him do his own research about his condition and what that would mean for them. What he would have to deal with every day for the rest of their lives. He hadn’t wanted the words to come out of his own mouth. He refused to be the catalyst that would force him to watch the love of his life realize that he wasn’t good enough, that he was too reactive, too sensitive. That he was just- too much. In every way. 

Too late for that now.

“I know, baby. Peter, I know all of that. I’m not going anywhere. You being borderline didn’t scare me before we got together, and it doesn’t scare me now.”

And something about that rubs Peter the wrong way. He wants to scream. “But it should, Tony! We’re talking about moving in together and you... You shouldn’t have to deal with my- With my crazy.” He cuts himself off and bites at his wobbling lower lip when he notices the way Tony is looking at him. He looks- hurt, almost. “What?”

Tony’s voice is low. “Don’t you ever call yourself crazy. You’re not crazy. You know what you are? You’re my boyfriend. You’re the most generous person I’ve ever met. You give the most amazing snuggles. You’re sensitive and extremely empathetic, and you always know the right thing to say. You’re helpful. You’re expressive, and in touch with your emotions, which can’t be said about most people. You are beautiful Peter, and so is this brain of yours and everything that comes with it. I wouldn’t change you for the world, okay?” 

He pauses to press their mouths together and looks down at Peter, who stopped crying during his little speech and is now gazing at him with adoration in his eyes. “And baby, I know we aren’t married yet but I mean it- for better or worse, through sickness and in health. Or, uh,” he trails off, suddenly looking a bit shy. “However it goes. You know what I mean.”

Peter blinks up at him, heart fluttering in his chest. He’s disoriented by the sudden surge of serotonin flooding his system. This is exactly what he means, but- “You- You wanna marry me?” A shaky smile takes over his lips at the thought. Forever with Tony. 

Tony chuckles. “Of course I do. Who else is gonna put up with me?” He presses another kiss to Peter’s forehead before dragging him under the water. “Let’s wash this conditioner out, put on some comfy jammies- Ah, yes I know we just woke up- and lay in bed today, hmm? I’ll be big spoon.”

The younger man grins, squeezing his eyes shut as the water cascades down his face. “Sounds like a good deal to me- Hey wait.” He cracks an eye open and squints at Tony. “That wasn’t you proposing, right? Because I think I deserve-”

An affronted noise leaves Tony’s mouth. “You can wash out your own damn conditioner! Who do you take me for? Of course that wasn’t a real proposal- I have standards!”

Peter just laughs as the man’s fingers don’t move from their place in his hair.

That knot is still in his chest but-

The good moments, like this? They’re enough to make everything else worth it.

[voidcat]

– “Friend” is a four letter word

Characters: Kuroo Tetsurou / gn! reader

requested by anon, prompt 1

wc & genre: 2k - mostly fluff, a bit angst by the end

a/n: the title is literally a 1 trait danger song title, pls dont come @ me, i just thought it was nice to use bc “love” is a four letter word so yea,, also pls dont ship ppl irl or ask them too many Qs abt their relationshio even if they look so good together n should date bc it is rlly rlly annoying (speaking from experience)

The first you meet Kuroo Tetsurou, you don’t even notice.

It’s not surprising, he’s quiet and doesn’t gather attention. You don’t go looking around and keeping an eye on everyone either. The most is you’re just two fish in the vast sea, unaware of one another, too tangled with your own lives.

Then comes a moment, nothing special, almost out-of-a-movie type. It begins with a joke, if it can be considered that. It’s bad, awfully bad, a horrible pun in the middle of chemistry and from the volume of the voice you can tell they hoped no one would hear. But you do, so does few who sit next to him and your giggles dance around in the air. You don’t notice it’s him at that time but you grow to recognize his jokes in the following time.

Kuroo Tetsurou feels like a mystery when your eyes lie on him one afternoon. He’s not bad looking, a part of a sports team, a key member even. And yet compared to all the other jocks he doesn’t bask in the attention, in fact, he doesn’t receive any. Others like to brag and talk smug, as if they’ve discovered life in an inhabitable area and then there’s him. You can’t even tell he plays in the team if it’s not for the uniform and tracksuit he’s in after classes.

You think to yourself, if only jocks were like him. Still, you take no step and neither does he.

Maybe neither of you need to because the universe is more than happy to provide the nudge you both seem to need.

Funny enough it’s a science project that starts it.

He’s too quiet to your liking, speaking only when absolutely necessary. As you desperately try to kill the silence that hangs in the air, he avoids it as hard, making so little sound.

An idea comes as fast the lights are on and you speak before you even get to think ‘what’s there to lose?’

“No science puns for me? What happened, cat got your tongue?”

To say he is baffled, is the understatement of the year. You’re not sure if he’s surprised you’ve heard him joke or want to hear more of them; but either way, he looks cute, with his guard down, at a loss of reaction, mouth slightly open and – is that a hint of blush on his cheeks?

It only goes upwards from then on.

Awkward conversations is how it begins, seeking each other out in close environments is where you’re leaded.

You find yourself enjoying the way he talks, listening to what he has to say, the way his face brightens up when he starts talking out of pure interest. You only hope he feels the same way about you, and from the way he often discreetly directs you to take the lead and pick the topic, he does.

In a short span of time, you two are attached from the hip. Inseparable, always doing something, going somewhere, discussing a thing or just laughing. Shy smiles replaced with a Cheshire-like grin, almost ironic considering your school’s name, that’s only a new expression on him that you like to see.

It feels freeing, natural; as the sea sighs, the rain drops hit the surface and the sun shines. Two peas in a pod, thick as thieves, inseparable…

This goes beyond high school and throughout university too, which you’re grateful for. Because times come when you wonder where would you be without him, what would you do without his support; so you thank the stars once again, for having him in your life even today.

Then comes the times you wish you didn’t spend as much time together because the people around are being insufferable. All you want is to hang out with your best friend but half that time is stolen away by the never changing questions. Those who keep asking if you’re together, as an item. As if it doesn’t rub the salt in the already existing wound, it sure makes things unbearable. Getting approached by people you never saw before is no fun, neither is dealing with those who have the audacity to think you owe an explanation about your love life.

“But why? The two of you spend all the time together! Sure you must be in love!”

As if platonic relationships do not exist, surely do you have to love someone in that way to care for them? Loving Tetsu is a case that matters to only you, you’re happy knowing he cares for you, maybe not in the way as you but at the end of the day, the bond is there in plain sight, on your sleeve.

“But you guys would look so good together! Have you given dating a try? I’m sure it’d work out! I understand if you want to keep things a secret but come on, you must have had something going on-“

Stop, stop, stop…

It gets exhausting after a while, showing its signs on you, the irritation high and your nerves are at the edge, he notices it not long after.

After a little persuasion, you spill it all out, ranting about the pent up anger you had bottled all week –month maybe. You don’t notice the way his shoulders slump as you talk and go on about the stupidity of the people. It misses your attention how he talks less than usual that day, even after the mini ranting session. You do, however, notice how he starts to act strange around you. More preserved, and not as chatty as much. Holding his touch and avoiding contact, not going out of his way to approach you any longer. This drives you crazy, hurts a part of you and you worry –what if he has grown bored of me? Did I do something to hurt his feelings? Does he like someone and avoids me to get in their eye? What has happened, what did I do wrong? And goes and goes and goes the worries and the dynamics shift in your friendship.

So with the change of dynamics, you try desperately to hold onto what you once shared. Soon enough it’s you who invites the other to outings.

When your coffee offers are denied, you bring up walks, after that study dates, as he tries to ignore one attempt of alone time, you come up with another and one evening you find yourself asking to go to a party.

Campus parties with him, are interesting, to say the least. It stings when you’re separated, a punch to the stomach when he’s awfully close to those who were flirting with him, a new kind of torture when he keeps his talks with you short at the scene but at the end of the day you always leave, together, and you settle with this too, as you settled with all his love you could get years ago.

Some nights with booze apparent in the air, you don’t bug him with questions but each party gets worse somehow, only makes the distance between the two harder.

One night you snap and let it all out, unlike that afternoon it wasn’t an asked question but an aftereffect of him pushing your nerves and once you begin, you don’t stop, letting the storm out and he just looks at you.

You stop and his gaze stays, face devoid of any emotion and you worry, all the words you’ve said dawning on you and with one last attempt you whisper “Aren’t we friends?”

Voice calm and stern, colder than that icy cocktail you had: We’re not just friends and you fucking know it.

Holding back the tears by the corner of your eyes, you blink once and turn your back, steps set on your way. You can’t recall the last time you’ve walked home alone, without him.

Some time passes, days begin to blur and you try not to dwell on things too much or think about him that much. But the brain is a traitor as much as your heart and you find yourself thinking about him too much to your liking. Not sure whether you want him to find you, you keep an eye out; maybe plan to get out of the eye sight when you spot that messy hair but there’s not much need as he’s never around.

At the same time you’re unaware that this is his way of giving you a break, providing the alone time you needed away from him; as Tetsu tries his best to gather his thoughts and shape the sentences to show how he truly feels, what he actually thinks, he keeps an eye out for you. Even the smallest of smiles on you making his racing heart worse but what lands the final blow is how rarely you smile these days. Knowing he is the reason behind, knowing he causes the weight on your shoulders and the ache in his heart, he wishes more than anything to change this as soon as he can but he is at a loss of words and actions and he hates himself for that.

When the two of you are brought together once again, as fate pushes you from behind like it did years ago, you’re not sure who looks up first. But it is Tetsu who speaks first, not giving you a chance to say anything back, call him names or yell him insults. And as he talks, eyes focused on you, locked into yours, his gaze warmer than ever, his voice nothing like that disastrous night.

“I know I fucked up and ruined the best thing I’ve ever had in my life. I have nothing to blame but myself, I know, but please. Even though it’s selfish of me to ask this… Would you give me a second chance?”

Letting go of the breath you were holding, you prepare to answer him. He doesn’t let you.

“One last chance… To start over? Because that one sentence, as cold as it sounded, had a truth to it. And I- I just can’t do it anymore. I can’t go on and pretend like I don’t have- like I don’t have all these feelings in me. I can’t nod along to your rants about how much you hate the people perceiving the two of us as more than friends. ‘Cause you got to admit. They have a point. Maybe at the beginning, yes... But we’ve not been friends, not for a long while. And you know it too whether you want to say it or not.”

As if spoken without breathing once, considering this is Tetsu that was definitely the case ,he gulps and takes a step forward.

“Will you give me a last chance and let me show you how much I can love you? Free of this ‘just friends’ title. Would you let me take you on dates and make you laugh wide and loud? Not just as your friend but as your boyfriend? As your partner in crime and in life, as Persephone is the pastel queen of hell in the realm of Hades, the sun to my Icarus, the Sodium to my Chlorine?..”

His speech was getting to you until the last sentence, your softened body goes stone cold, hands hanging in the air, Tetsu’s last pleads of “would you let me?”s falling deaf to your ears.

The gears turn quick and he realizes exactly which one of his words could leave an effect like this, be so ridiculous and bring you to a halt.

One of those smug smiles you saw on his face often, he says “What happened, cat got your tongue?”

And your mouse hanging open, all you can do is smack him on the arm, as hard as you can, for that awful salt simile and for using your words on you.

Before you know it, both of you are laughing and the air feels warm once again.

tags: @celosiiaa​ @boosyboo9206