#i should do it more. it helps. anyways ive got two pages left | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

theasstour · 4 years ago

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𝐅𝐈𝐂 𝐏𝐀𝐆𝐄 | 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 𝟏𝟑.𝟒𝐤 𝐍𝐁: 𝐚𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐡𝐨𝐥, 𝐞𝐱𝐩𝐥𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐭 𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐮𝐚𝐠𝐞

A/N: Thank you to the lovelies who nominated Strange Tides, Baby Blue, and moi for the 1D Craft Awards 🌊🐚 If you have the time and feel like spreading some love, go vote for your fave fics and authors here ✨ ENJOYYY CHAPTER 5! x

Tuesday, 7 July

“I’d say you’re doing quite alright for someone who has just gotten into knitting,” Bessie said, looking at Y/N’s creation over the rim of her glasses. “What technique did your mother teach you again, sweets? ‘Cause you’re a natural.”

“Oh, I dunno,” Y/N answered honestly, taking her blue square back. “Are there different types of knitting styles?”

Bessie’s laugh was warm and joyous, looking out at Camila, Florence, and Barb, who smiled at Y/N. Though Y/N had been scared of being judged by these women for not knowing how to properly knit at first, there was nothing but kindness and appreciation in their eyes. It seemed they really were just happy to see the beginning of Y/N’s knitting journey. They had all been beyond helpful, taking their time and being patient with her as she learned the ins and outs of knitting. She was still not sure what she was making, but she was knitting a bunch of squares to start off, and she would see where to go from there.

“So,” Florence said, turning her attention back on the knitting in front of her. “What do you think of St Ives thus far, Y/N? Is it living up to your expectations?”

“You’ve been here a month now,” Bessie said, shaking her head as if she couldn’t quite believe it. And Y/N couldn’t believe it herself. Time had flown by so incredibly fast it did not seem quite real. It seemed like only yesterday she had checked in here and met Bessie, or when she ran into Harry and started their little thing. It just did not seem real that time had gone by this fast. In a month’s time, summer would almost be over and she would have to start thinking about checking out and finding out what to do next. Going back home to Winchester was out of the question, but she didn’t really have anywhere else to go.

Y/N took a deep breath, telling herself not to think about that now. Debating what to do after she checked out of The Roaming Crab Inn could be done at another time, not while she was knitting with four lovely ladies. For someone who had lived her whole life with a plan laid out for her near and far future, Y/N was awfully relaxed about the prospect of the chapter of her life that would start once she left St Ives in August.

“I love it here,” she answered truthfully, finding some red yarn so she could start knitting a red square. “I’ve met so many people while staying here, it’s been amazing.”

“It’s been fun to meet Harry’s family as well,” Barb said. “If your name comes up in conversation when we’re at the chess club, Jessa won’t shut up. She’s so proud Harry’s dating such a lovely lady.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up, both because she took pride in that compliment but also because she knew Jessa wouldn’t think of her like that when she and Harry “broke up” later.

“Speaking of people you’ve met, my son tells me you went to the pub with him, Harry, and their little group.” Florence looked at Y/N, smiling. “Did he invite you to his birthday this Saturday?”

“Yeah, Harry told me we were invited,” Y/N said.

“Dax and Harry have been close ever since Harry came to St Ives. He even slept at the lighthouse for close to a month after Harry’s father got lost at sea.”

Y/N stopped knitting. When she looked over at Florence again, the older woman was already knitting so she didn’t notice Y/N’s sudden interest. She looked over at Bessie who only gave Y/N a nod as to confirm what Florence had just said, and in that second Y/N was very happy Bessie knew her and Harry’s relationship was only pretend.

“The day they found the empty boat was absolutely horrible. All of St Ives in mourning. Remember it like it was yesterday,” Camila went on, sighing dramatically. “Devastating time.”

“Let’s not talk about that,” Bessie chimed in. “It is such a sad time to reminisce about.”

“Yes, no reason we should think about such things,” Barb went on. “I’m sure it’s a touchy subject for Y/N as well, seeing as Harry is so close to her.”

Y/N focused entirely on her knitting, not really wanting to say anything in regards to Harry’s dad. She knew he died, but she hadn’t really questioned how that happened. For some reason, Y/N had assumed he had been sick, but knowing something happened to Harry’s dad while he was at sea… she didn’t know how to feel. Was it worse to have a loved one be sick and know the end was inevitable and close, or to have them ripped suddenly and unexpectedly out of your life?

“I’m sorry for bringing the mood down, girls,” Florence said, letting a bright laugh escape her lips. “Maybe we need some tea to brighten up our mood some?”

“I think that’s a splendid idea,” Bessie said, getting up from her seat. “Y/N, dear, would you give me a helping hand?”

“Of course.”

Y/N got up and followed Bessie inside to the kitchen, the three others chattering away as the two started making a new batch black tea. Bessie busied herself with finding some mugs, her sugar, and milk, as Y/N just stood beside the kettle and waited for it to finish boiling. With her arms crossed, her mind wandered off to all those times Harry mentioned his dad and his death, not once had he mentioned he was sick, so Y/N didn’t know where she had gotten that idea from. She knew it was not something she should be speculating or thinking about, but right then, she could not help herself.

Instead of thinking about something so tragic, she forced herself to think about Dax’s birthday party the coming weekend. Harry had only mentioned it in passing yesterday, but Y/N was already looking forward to it. There wasn’t much else she did now anyway besides knit, read for the UCAT, and lie about being in a relationship. Throwing some partying into that mix seemed like a bit of fun.

Saturday, 11 July

“I’m about to do it,” Y/N said, eyes on her laptop screen in front of her. Her white summer dress blew a little in the wind from the open window beside her, but the breeze was welcomed, as it always was in Cornwall.

Harry looked up from where he was going through some bills on his couch, wearing his red knitted jumper along with a pair of short dungaree shorts. Y/N was sat on the other side of his tiny house in the windowsill beside his bed. It was big enough to fit her, her books, and laptop, it was kind of her spot now.

“I’m really about to do it,” Y/N repeated, more for her own sake than for Harry’s - who was a little confused and sat with his mouth open, waiting for her to elaborate – because she simply could not believe she was doing this.

“What?” Harry asked after a while, and when Y/N met his eyes, he blinked a few times as if readying himself for whatever she was about to say.

“Apply for the UCAT exam.”

Last week, Y/N had taken Harry up on his offer to study for her UCAT exam at his place. She came over Friday, and upon seeing her walking up to his house around 8:30, Harry walked toward her on the gravel path. She didn’t know why, but she liked that he did that instead of just standing stoic and just watching her. It made her almost feel urgently desired at his house when he did that.

“Hi,” Y/N greeted as they fell into step beside one another. “Report time?”

“Yeah, just walking around and checking everything.”

She smiled. “And so you walked over here to check on me?”

“Who wouldn’t?”

Y/N wanted to laugh, but Harry was looking at the gravel in front of him, lips sucked into his mouth as if telling himself to shut up. He walked her all the way into his house, telling her to make herself feel at home. She sat down by the round table and placed her books out before her, sighing a little to herself as she opened the first one to the page she’d left off on last time. Before going about his day of lightkeeper chores, he made her a cup of tea and told her to help herself to anything in the fridge. He left in a hurry to report, and Y/N didn’t see much of him till two hours later, when he came inside to look through some paperwork.

The rest of the week, she’d popped by almost every single day and then stayed for hours on end. Though she’d mostly been studying, she had also stayed a little longer just to hang out with Harry. She felt safe on Clodgy Point, with Harry, who, once she got him talking about something he found interesting, would talk someone’s ear off. It was so nice to hang out with someone her own age. Someone who would curse and who didn’t need to gossip all the time. There was something so relaxing about Harry’s presence and his little bungalow that attracted Y/N. She simply could not study in her own room anymore, and Harry didn’t seem to mind. He’d meet her on the gravel path and walk her to his house before he went off to report, every single day without fail. She always looked forward to seeing him there, a sight that made the moors around her seem less turbulent and the world a little more colourful.

Though she sat by the door the first two days, she ended up in the windowsill after a while. When Harry caught her there, he asked if her bum wouldn’t get numb from sitting there all day, to which Y/N jokingly said not to worry, she could just bring a cushion next time, though she always forgot. She didn’t mind though; she liked that windowsill so much that her sore arse didn’t bother her. It also seemed Harry liked that his windowsill was being used, because at one point, he brought his Super 8 camera out, taping her doing her work in the windowsill.

On Monday, something happened that took Y/N’s breath away. Harry walked into the house, zipping his mouth shut when their eyes met as if to tell her he didn’t intend on interrupting her. He made himself something to eat for lunch and sat by the round kitchen table, minding his own business and looking out of the window beside him every now and again for some sort of entertainment. Once he was done eating, he washed his plate up and then, instead of walking back out to work, he walked over to his piano. Y/N immediately sat up a bit straighter, resting her hands on her bent knee as she watched Harry open the piano chair, pull a notebook out, and then sit down once he closed it.

Harry’s hands hovered over the keys before he slowly started pressing down on them, producing the softest melody Y/N thought she might have ever heard. He moved along with the piece, feeling the rhythmic waves take over his body and guide him through the history that melody held. It was clear Harry had some sort of attachment to that piece. Y/N didn’t know how carefully musicians played, how much attention and care they gave to each of the pieces they performed, but there was something graceful and almost intimate about watching Harry perform that piece. Y/N simply could not put her finger on it, but she couldn’t take her eyes off him.

Once he was done playing that specific melody, about to start the next one, Y/N opened her mouth, “What’s that piece called?”

Harry looked at her over his shoulder, raising his eyebrows some as if he hadn’t heard her right.

“Is it well-known?”

“No, uhm…” He furrowed his brows some, looking at the dresser stood beside the piano where a few photos were placed. “I wrote it myself?”

“You did?”

“Yeah, it’s a few years old.”

Y/N couldn’t help her smile. “Does the piece have a title?”

Harry nodded slowly. “Saving Grace,” he explained. “It’s got a dual meaning.”

“Which is?”

“Well, I was 20 when Grace was born. Until then I hadn’t really been around babies, so it took some getting used to when Grace was around most of the time. It had only been my dad and me for a long time, then Jessa came into our lives, which ultimately brought Gracie.” Harry looked out the window Y/N sat in. “It had been a very… content life till then. Nothing spectacular, Dad and I really did love each other and were best friends since before Mum left us when I was 6. But…” He trailed off. “But then came Jessa and Grace, and they truly changed all that. They made us so happy.”

A warmness that was not due to the hot temperature outside, made its way like a wave down Y/N’s body.

“Grace became my little person, you know? Though I worked at St Ives Bakery and had friends, I still didn’t know what I wanted to really do with my life. I was about to apply to study music at uni, but… I dunno, I just didn’t. Grace became my purpose for a little while. I earned money so I could take her places and buy her ice cream, or I taught her how to walk, talk, and we did everything together.” Harry turned back to the piano, playing the first few notes slowly. “This melody came to me when I watched her walk without trouble around the moors outside, she was looking at flowers and she was so happy. The melody tries to capture that moment and how perfect that day was.” He stopped, glancing at the sheet in front of him. “She was two years old.”

“So, essentially, you try to capture feelings and moments in your music?”

“Yeah.”

“Do you have any other pieces?”

Harry chuckled, looking over his shoulder at her. “You know, the reason I started playing was to help you concentrate. Piano music is great for that.”

“Sod my work, I want to know more about your music.”

“Oi!” Harry exclaimed, turning his body in her direction now. “I’ve never heard you say that word before! Never heard you speak like that!”

Y/N laughed, but persuaded Harry to play a few of his other pieces before he went back to work.

That Saturday when Y/N brought up the exam, Harry hadn’t played any piano. He sometimes would, both to calm himself down, but also to help Y/N concentrate. She would sometimes take breaks just to listen to him, but his playing really did help her focus. Harry was doing some of his work in the house that Saturday, probably to keep her company, but she was very happy he was there. She needed someone to talk this through with.

There was an instant pull to the edges of Harry’s lips, something that he didn’t have to think about, it was instinctive and genuine. A slight breath left his mouth, almost like something of a chuckle, a relief of sorts that made her all hot. He smiled and got up from the couch, a reason for his movements as if he moved a little easier now that he’d just heard that.

“Are you really?” he asked, taking his tea mug and nodding at Y/N’s beside her. She picked it up and handed it to him.

“I mean, I’ve been thinking about it for weeks, and I feel like it’s stupid to study for an exam if I’m never going to take it.”

“That makes sense, yeah.”

“So, I’m just gonna do it now.”

Harry put their mugs down, filling up the kettle before making another round. Y/N liked that he just assumed she wanted another cuppa. She liked the fact he made her this hot beverage that took a long time for someone to drink up. That he made her several a day. She really liked that.

“I’m thinking, you’ve been reading for weeks and you clearly know the material, you might as well,” Harry said.

“There’s just… I dunno…”

“What?”

“No.”

Harry was quiet, so when Y/N looked at him, he was already looking at her, waiting for her to continue. Both knew she wouldn’t hold back once she’d already started saying something.

“I’m scared I won’t show up.”

Harry frowned. “Why? That something is gonna come up?”

“No, that I’ll just oversleep on purpose or find any possible solution so I won’t have to go. Maybe my brain will refuse to revise the entire week before it, I tended to do that in school. When I have an opportunity to, I make things hard for myself.”

Harry plopped two sugars into her cuppa. “I won’t let that happen.”

She raised her eyebrows at him. “How, you’re gonna carry me out of my room and to your van, then drive me to the exam?”

“If that’s what it takes.”

She laughed, looking back at the laptop in front of her as Harry walked over, putting the tea down beside her.

“Thanks,” she said.

“I think you should just do it.”

“I know I should, but… once I sign up, it’s all happening. It’s not just something I’m thinking about doing, it’s actually happening and there’s a date I gotta work toward.” She sighed. “It’s not just a dream anymore.”

“It stopped being ‘just a dream’ the second you bought those books,” Harry said, sipping his tea as Y/N looked up at him where he stood beside her. “When you started reading, you knew what you were doing and yet you did it anyway.”

She studied him for a second, meeting his eyes the second before she turned back to the laptop. “Guess you’re right.”

“I’m right.”

She flung her arm out, hitting him just across his knee. “Cocky.”

“No,” Harry giggled. “I’m correct. You should try being it sometime.”

“Tone it down!”

Harry laughed, walking back over to his paperwork again. He sat working for a bit longer, finishing his tea before he put everything back in the folder and walked back out of the house and to the lighthouse. When the front door slammed shut, it was like Y/N was slapped out of a sort of trance. She had just been looking at the UCAT website, mouse hovering over the ‘Register and Book’ button, mind somewhere else completely. She remembered what Harry said, how registering and taking this exam wouldn’t make this dream of hers reality all of a sudden, she had done that herself when she started deliberately revising for the UCAT.

She clicked the button and made herself a new user on the website. Reading through everything carefully, Y/N felt her heart picking up speed. It was dawning on her that she was really doing this, despite everything, she was finally registering to take the test. The next few minutes as she took all of this in, she completely forgot where she was. All she knew was the information being fed to her. The wind, the sun, the fly flying around her head, nor whatever Harry was doing was any of her concern. She focused entirely on registering and booking a date. A fee of £75 had to be paid, and though Y/N would never have thought about paying that kind of money before, she hesitated now.

She didn’t have a job, her parents weren’t providing for her anymore because… well, she wasn’t talking to them, so she only had the money on her one card left. Though she was sure she could afford the test fee, there would come a time when she couldn’t. Money had never been a problem until now. This hadn’t been something she thought about before, it hadn’t been a problem then because her parents were filthy rich, but she recognised this now. However, this test had been on her mind for years and it was something she really wanted to do, so spending money on it wasn’t something she needed to feel guilty about. Y/N paid the fee and sat there staring at her screen as a ‘Thanks for your booking’ popped up on her screen. Her test was September 10th. That was in two months. In two months she would be taking the UCAT.

She got up from the windowsill, shaking her clammy hands to dry them some, a shaky breath leaving her parted lips as her heart galloped inside her chest. It didn’t feel real. None of it felt real. She was doing the UCAT exam. This was her first big step into dentistry. She was actually doing what she had been dreaming of doing for years now.

She had no idea what made her do it but she walked out of the house, instinctively walking towards the lighthouse. Harry was already halfway to the cottage from the lighthouse, halting a little at Y/N’s abrupt exit. She stopped when she saw him.

“I did it.”

Those three words took a few seconds for Harry to comprehend, but when he did, he gave her the biggest grin she’d ever seen on his face. His eyes completely disappeared behind his cheekbones, crinkles appearing beside them, and his crooked smile was accompanied with his brilliant dimples that breathed light and meaning into every situation they were present in. The sight of it made her own appear and she put a hand over her chest, feeling her heart still going hard against her ribcage. Harry must have not thought a lot of it, because he nearly opened his arms, but they quickly fell to his side. Next, he went to give her a high five, but that almost seemed inappropriate because it was such a huge moment to Y/N.

But Y/N couldn’t stop thinking about the way Harry had opened his arms for her just now. Couldn’t stop thinking about how he wanted her close like that to congratulate her on what she’d just done. And, the part of her that hadn’t really experienced someone’s noticeable pride in her like this before, wouldn’t mind at all. That’s why she ran towards him, and the two seconds Harry had to prepare, Y/N both saw the visible shock at her sprinting for him, but also a sort of jubilation like it was an honour. Y/N threw her arms around him and Harry quickly wrapped her in his, a breath of relief skimming her neck and making goosebumps run through her entire body. She laughed as Harry picked her off the ground, groaning in triumph at the news of her finally having signed up for the UCAT.

She leaned her head against his, smelling that same perfume on him that she remembered smelling when she wore his knitted jumper a few weeks ago. Her theory had also been right: Harry was an amazing hugger. His grip was tight and she was sure he closed his eyes, really immersing himself completely in the person he was embracing. Fingers spread out across her back, the tips of one just touching her shoulder blade and the other on her waist, squeezing her slightly for a few seconds before letting her down again.

“That’s amazing, Y/N,” Harry said, and Y/N tightened her grip.

When they finally let go of one another, Harry ran inside and came back some seconds later holding his camera, said he needed to document this. Y/N did a few poses that made Harry laugh, then proceeding to run out into the field beyond the lighthouse. She felt absolutely ecstatic as she ran around, grinning and jumping, her arms held up high and her heart soaring. After all this time, she was finally pursuing this. If she was able to do something that terrified and excited her like this, then what else could she do? Part of her felt like she could do anything now.

Porthgwidden Beach was like Harry described it: small. Once Harry and Y/N arrived at the tiny car park above the beach, Y/N stopped for a moment to take in the beach that wasn’t even a fraction of what the other two major beaches of St Ives were. Some Tiësto song was playing somewhere and the beach was crowded, all guests of Dax’s birthday party. The Porthgwidden Beach Café seemed to have been booked for the occasion as well, people around their age all sitting grouped around the table with their bottles and cups. No one seemed to be going crazy on their alcohol, which reassured Y/N some because it had been a while since she had been drunk, a glass or two of anything would make her very lightheaded and giggly. She had brought with her a bottle of wine in her tote bag, Harry seemed to be relying on his mates having brought drinks. If not, Y/N wouldn’t mind sharing the rest of hers with him.

Y/N had left Harry’s place not long after she signed up for the UCAT so she could get ready for Dax’s birthday party in her own room. She wore a dark green column midi skirt along with a white tee shirt and some short heels that she regretted wearing the second her and Harry stepped out into the sand. He looked over his shoulder at her once he noticed her struggling a bit, offering his hand for her to hold so she could take her heels off. While she did that, she took the liberty to study him again. His outfit was simple, yet effortlessly hot. High waisted mid wash denim jeans, a baggy black tee shirt tucked into them, along with some white socks and black Converse. Y/N had a theory Harry would end up taking his own shoes off by the end of the night too.

The two had met on Island Street where they knew none of the other partygoers would venture. That way, people would’ve seen them walk together all the way to the party, assuming they must’ve spent time at Harry’s place before coming here. They had discussed this plan over a last cuppa tea before Y/N left earlier that day, Harry had seemed very happy with himself for coming up with that one. And as they stood there, Y/N holding his hand while taking her shoes off, they heard some loud whistles followed by a “There they are!”

Looking over, they saw the birthday boy making his way over, arms spread wide and the biggest grin on his face. “My boyo!”

“Dax, not now-“

But the man didn’t listen. He hugged Harry to him, causing Harry to take a few steps, resulting in Y/N losing her balance. With a squeal, Y/N almost fell face first into the sand again, but Harry was fast to bring one hand under her armpit and the other to her hip. He dragged her toward him, her torso flat against his. She saw Harry’s eyes on her face in her peripheral vision, felt his breath on her cheek.

“Oi!” Dax laughed. “Sorry ‘bout that, Y/N. Got a bit carried away seeing this hunk.” Dax put a hand on Harry’s shoulder, causing Harry to jump right out of his trance and let go of Y/N, as if couples didn’t normally embrace each other like this without hesitation.

“Happy birthday, Dax,” Y/N smiled before picking up her shoe, shoving the pair into her tote bag along with her cardigan and Harry’s red knitted jumper.

“Happy birthday, mate,” Harry said.

“You know, I expected you to be the first one here.” Dax crossed his arms over his chest as he looked at Harry.

Harry furrowed his brows at Dax. “What do you mean?”

“Well, isn’t your best friend’s birthday important to you?”

Harry was quiet for a second. “Oh, my word, Dax.”

“I’m just a joke to you.”

“You sure are.”

“Look who it is!” Ellie called, grinning as her and the rest of Harry’s little gang made their way over. “You made it!”

“We were starting to think you two wouldn’t come,” Amir said, his hair in the most effortlessly pretty bun at the top of his head. “Too busy?” Amir wiggled his eyebrows.

“You’re too caught up in people’s sex lives for it to be normal, mate,” Harry said, taking the cup Fatima offered him. “Cheers.”

Something about Harry referring to him and Y/N’s sex life made Y/N’s cheeks feel awfully hot. Even though their joined sex life was non-existent, it still got to her. Maybe it was the way Harry always dodged those questions so the two wouldn’t have to answer any awkward queries they had absolutely no idea about. She didn’t know, but she rummaged through her bag so people wouldn’t see how flustered she suddenly got.

“Just trying to make conversation,” Amir said.

“Well, don’t,” Jo chimed in, their smile mocking and Amir only huffed in response.

“By the way!” Dax exclaimed, grinning from ear to ear. “We’re going Terraland next week, you coming this year, Y/N?”

Y/N raised her eyebrows in question. “What’s Terraland?”

“Theme park in Helston, we go every year towards the end of the summer vacation,” Jo explained. “Harry here-“ They gestured at the man standing beside Y/N. “-Doesn’t like Terraland.”

“I do,” Harry protested. “I like laying by the pool and not doing shit. I don’t particularly like it when you force me on rollercoasters.”

Y/N smiled. “I’ll come if Harry decides to.”

“Brill! All of us are coming, maybe a few others,” Amir said.

“So, it’s like an adventure park with rollercoasters and such?” Y/N asked

“That and pools, very much the kind of thing you visit when you’re on vacation in, like, Spain,” Harry explained. “But it’s in Cornwall.”

“Good for a group of grown up kids, ey?” Dax grinned, clapping his hands together.

“Come, Y/N, babe.” Ellie linked her arm with Y/N’s, taking Y/N off guard, but she didn’t stop Ellie. She looked at their arms and smiled a little. “Let’s get you a cup so we can get this party started.”

“Love your skirt, by the way,” Fatima smiled as they reached a table with tons of cups and napkins.

“Ahh, thank you. Haven’t worn it in a while, so I felt it was fitting to do so today.” Y/N glanced down at her skirt, running her hand over it before reaching for a cup.

“Ellie and I were saying the other day that you’ve got such a sophisticated sense of style, you need to take us shopping.”

“Could use a few pointers,” Ellie agreed, watching Y/N as she poured herself a glass of wine.

“Really?” Y/N screwed the cork shut before putting the bottle away, smiling at the two girls. “I mean, it’s not that good-“

“-Out of respect for what Harry said, I will stop you before you discredit yourself,” Ellie smiled back.

Y/N laughed. “What about respect for me? Respect me wanting to discredit myself for having a mediocre clothing style.”

Both Fatima and Ellie joined in on the laughing and the three girls walked away from the table so they could hang out by themselves. Though St Ives had around 11,000 inhabitants, Y/N was sure a lot of the guests weren’t locals. Maybe friends from University or friends-of-friends, everything to get a good party going. Judging by what Fatima and Ellie told Y/N, this was an annual thing. Dax Rose held a massive birthday party and absolutely everyone was invited. Bring your own alcohol, bring a friend, and bring a smile, and you were welcomed with open arms. People were sitting in the sand or by the café, others were just standing around, some were dancing, and a group was also taking a swim and joking around in the water. Y/N genuinely liked the atmosphere; it was just really freeing and nice. People wore whatever they wanted, laughter could be heard everywhere, and it just seemed like everyone wanted to have a good time.

Though anyone could come join the party – something that made her look around her a few too many times -, there were still enough people there to notice something suspicious going on.

Fatima, Ellie, and Y/N stood just talking for a while. It was really nice to talk to some girls her own age again, she couldn’t remember the last time she had done that. She had some good friends at school but once they had gone off to University or moved away from Winchester, she fell out of touch with most of them. Y/N knew it wasn’t personal, she quite liked the fact her friends had acquired new lives for themselves, being happier and more fulfilled. But she had missed just standing around chatting nonsense. The conversation didn’t hold much significance, there wasn’t much crucial information going around, or any sort of seriousness attached to it, just some mates having a chat. Y/N found herself wondering if Fatima and Ellie would come if she asked them out for lunch one day.

“I saw this documentary the other day, it’s on iPlayer,” Ellie said. “It was super interesting and disturbing.”

“Oh?” Y/N said, tipsy at this point and just holding the cup of wine in her hand, not wanting to drink more in case it would make her dizzy and very giggly.

“Yeah, it was basically about all these people who committed gruesome murders in the UK, and who go free now.”

Y/N looked up from her cup with wide eyes and at Ellie as Fatima gasped.

“Yeah, I can’t remember what it was called…” As Ellie started thinking, a shadow appeared beside Y/N and she jumped. The tall red-haired man standing beside Y/N only smiled at her, holding a hands up to indicate he was friendly.

Fatima clicked her tongue. “Are you trying to give her a heart attack, Cam?”

“No, I’m sorry, darl,” the man said, looking at Y/N as he held a hand out for her to shake. “Just saw an unfamiliar face and thought I’d introduce myself, is all. I’m Cameron.”

Y/N took a huge breath, meeting Ellie’s eyes before looking at Cameron and shaking his hand. “Y/N.”

“Y/N,” he mused under his breath, nodding his head as his hand fell to his side again. “Haven’t seen you around here before, Y/N.”

“I’ve only been here a month now.”

“Too bad we didn’t meet earlier, then.”

Y/N’s eyes widened a bit, the compliment taking her off guard. She only chuckled some, wrapping both her hands around her cup as she looked down at the liquid in it.

“When did you come back, Cam?” Ellie asked, crossing her arms over her chest.

“Two weeks ago. Are you on vacation here then, Y/N?” Cameron didn’t even spare Ellie a look, his undivided attention on Y/N as she continued to stare at her drink.

But suddenly a pair of black Converse appeared beside her bare feet. She felt a hand on her lower back, a warm and comforting pressure that slowly trailed its way to her waist, wrapping his fingers around her curves and bringing her toward him. Her figure fell against his, fitting against his side as if they’d done this before.

“That’s my girlfriend you’re trying to pull, Cam,” Harry said, his voice steady and a little darker than normal. Maybe it was the effect of the alcohol he had drunk this far or it being late, Y/N didn’t know, but she knew she liked it.

Cameron was quiet for a second. “Your girlfriend? Mate, you got a girlfriend?”

“This is her,” Harry continued.

“Ah, I’m sorry, Haz.”

“Don’t apologise to me, apologise to my girlfriend.”

Cameron smiled, as if he couldn’t believe Harry, but he met Y/N’s eyes. “I apologise, I didn’t know.”

Y/N nodded, not really knowing what else to say or do. Cameron looked at the other three, saying a quick goodbye before buggering off. As he disappeared, Harry’s hand slid back around her waist as he came to stand in front of Y/N. She felt his touch along her forearm, rough fingers caressing her with such sensitivity as if he was afraid of crossing a line. Whenever he touched her like this, she could tell by the rough skin of his hands that he wasn’t used to being gentle like this; wasn’t used to being careful when touching someone else. His work made him have rough skin and maybe even a rough touch, but he was always so incredibly cautious when he reached for Y/N.

He slid his hand into hers, squeezing her fingers as she wrapped them around him. Their eyes met and upon seeing him in front of her, seeing him this close, she felt her eyes widen a bit. Though the entire reason why he was doing this was because there were people around watching them, it still felt like everyone was intruding on a special moment between the two of them.

“You okay? Saw he made you jump a bit,” Harry said, hooded and glassy eyes searching her face.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just came up out of nowhere,” Y/N answered, offering a smile because she knew Harry’s concern was genuine.

Y/N wasn’t sure if Ellie or Fatima noticed Harry’s slight hesitance because by the sound of it, they were chatting amongst themselves, but Y/N did. Harry leaned in, eyes on hers till he closed them. Every single hair on Y/N’s body shot up as Harry pressed his lips gently against her cheek. He was covering her view of Ellie and Fatima, so the two couldn’t see the immediate shock on Y/N’s face. Their conversation halted, she was aware of that, but all her attention was focused on Harry’s lips and how hot her entire body got in the matter of a second. She closed her eyes, eyelashes brushing his skin. Harry pulled away, resting the right side of his forehead against her left for a few seconds. She wondered if he could feel how hard her heart was beating, how clammy her hands were. Could he tell she wanted to reach for his neck and hold him there, but she was carrying her cup and her other hand was already holding his? Could he feel her breaths on his neck like she could feel his? Did he want to stay like that, safe in each other’s company and unbothered by everyone else, for the rest of the night?

“I’m sure there are taxis driving about town if you two wanna go home,” Ellie said, and Fatima cursed her right away.

Harry took a step away from Y/N, clearing his throat as a familiar redness came to his cheeks. His hand was about to fall away from hers, but she gripped his harder, not ready to let go yet. He gave Fatima and Ellie a tight-lipped smile before meeting Y/N’s eyes again, the muscles in his face relaxing.

“El, I need a refill,” Fatima said, and though Y/N couldn’t read their faces yet, she could kind of tell what that meant.

“Let’s go get you a drink then. See you two in a bit.” Ellie and Fatima walked off, falling into conversation right away.

Harry made sure they were completely alone, that no one was eavesdropping before he said lowly, “Sorry if that was too much, I just… I just thought it’d look good, you know? To kiss my girlfriend- my pretend girlfriend around other people just to underline that we are… you know…”

Y/N nodded, biting her lips together as she watched Harry continue to try and find his words.

“Also, sorry if you wanted to chat to Cameron, I’m… I don’t want this to get in the way-“

“-I didn’t. I don’t.”

Silence stretched on, eyes on one another as the party continued around them. They didn’t have any regard for it as they kept their attention on one another. Y/N had answered so quickly and so honestly that it made her nervous when Harry didn’t say anything. Because it was true that she didn’t want to talk to Cameron, she didn’t know who he was and would probably never see him again. But she knew who Harry was, and she wanted to see him all the time. There was a comfort in his presence that settled over her like a warm, safe blanket. She liked being around him. She didn’t want to be near Cameron or anyone else.

“Do you think people think we’re a couple right now? Are we believable? Is this believable?” Harry mumbled.

Y/N giggled. “Well, you just kissed my cheek out of nowhere, I’d hope it’s somewhat believable and that they think we’re a couple.”

Harry laughed, looking down at their hands. “Yeah, it’s kind of… it’s kind of easy, isn’t it?”

Y/N frowned. “What is?”

“Being like this with you. I might feel like a right idiot when I take your hand or kiss your cheek, but you don’t make me feel like one.”

She smiled.

“It’s natural. Not that… that being in a relationship with you and acting like this is natural, I didn’t mean it like that, but it’s-“ He stopped himself looking up at her again as he bit his bottom lip, shrugging slightly. “-It’s like joking about with a friend and just having fun, feeling comfortable.”

“Yeah?”

“You know… I hope I don’t sound like a melt and I’m probably only able to say this ‘cause I’m a tad tipsy,” Harry said, and Y/N giggled. “But you’ve become one of my best friends. If not best friend, a very good one. Like… dunno, I can talk to you about anything, I don’t feel weird being silent around you, or saying or doing stuff that is weird, and I-I feel like you might feel the same way about me. At least I hope so.”

Her smile widened. “I do.”

He let out a small breath and Y/N chuckled.

“It’s sad that when this ends it’ll look weird if we remain friends, won’t it?” Y/N hated that she was thinking and talking about a time in the future they both knew was coming, but avoided talking about at all costs.

“What do you mean?”

“Well, do exes stay friends without it being weird to a degree? If you start dating someone for example, will our friends expect us to act a certain way, and if they do and we contradict their theory, will that make them suspicious of us?”

Harry furrowed his brows a little.

“I want to hang out with you and it’s sad to think that in August, we might have to part ways and never talk again ‘cause it’ll look… weird. Dunno, I haven’t really gone through this before.”

Harry let out a breathy chuckle. “Neither have I.”

Y/N laughed.

“I mean, I’ve gone through a break-up, but not like this.”

Y/N nodded. “Yeah, I haven’t talked to my ex since it happened.”

They were quiet for a moment as Harry digested Y/N’s choice of words. “You haven’t talked to your ex since you broke up either? Like, at all?”

“He, uhm, he’s sent me texts, but I don’t want to talk to him.”

Harry must have noticed how little Y/N wanted to talk about her ex, because he looked down at their hands again and let their conversation end there. Y/N held her cup out for him and Harry took it, looking at it. He raised his eyebrows, silently asking if she wanted any more of it, but she shook her head. He poured it out in the sand.

“You’re enjoying yourself?” Harry asked after a little while, wiping something off the corners of his mouth with his free index and thumb.

“The party?” Y/N met Harry’s eyes and then searched for Ellie and Fatima, she’d have to find them later. “Yeah, it’s nice. I like your friends.”

“There are a couple more who want me to introduce you, so we’ll have to do that later if it’s okay.”

“Of course.”

Harry’s eyes fell to the now empty cup. “And are you enjoying yourself in St Ives?”

Y/N smiled. “I am, it’s fun.” As she laid extra pressure on the last word, Harry looked up and as she raised her eyebrows, he knew she was referring to them and their fake relationship. He chuckled and Y/N watched him.

“Is it everything you hoped it’d be?”

She was unsure what he was referring to, but she said, “More.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” she answered, folding her hands.

“So, you’re… you’re staying?” Pause. “Right?”

Confused, Y/N furrowed her brows at Harry, studying his face to try and find some sort of explanation to that utterance. She slowly opened her mouth, and said, “Staying?”

“Here.”

“On the beach?”

“No.”

“In St Ives?”

Something that could be interpreted as a nod happened, but no words left Harry’s lips. Instead, he continued to look at her, eyes searching her face as if he could find her answer somewhere there. A slight breeze blew past them, making a curl come loose and hang in front of Harry’s eye. He quickly pushed it away, not letting anything prevent him from seeing Y/N fully as she realised what Harry meant. Y/N felt his fingers brush her arm on their way down.

“Do you want me to stay?”

Harry didn’t say anything or nod this time around. Their eyes didn’t waver, looking at each other and not daring to look away. Y/N didn’t register till then how close they were standing. When the wind blew from behind Harry, she smelled his familiar scent and it made something inside her flutter. It was instinctive to look down at his lips, just as instinctive to look up and feel her breath hitch somewhere in her throat as she saw his lips part. Unapologetically, Harry’s eyes did the same that Y/N’s had done just a few seconds prior. A fire-hot shiver ran up her spine as he glanced at her lips, taking a step forward so that their hands rested against one another. Y/N wanted to look at his lips again, but she simply could not look away from his eyes. He was so close and she didn’t want to ruin it, didn’t want to look away.

“Do you think we’re believable now?” Harry whispered, his voice hoarse.

Y/N couldn’t bring herself to answer, she was waiting for something unspeakable; something that couldn’t be put into word for fear of the reality of those words being too raw, too true. She felt his curl against her forehead. His breath on her nose. Her body prickling with anticipation and confusion, unable to properly decipher if what was going on was all part of the show or if this was genuine. Harry was too respectable to make a move, and Y/N was too perplexed to do anything. If she kissed him, how would he feel? Would he take it as her being genuinely interested in him, or that they were just doing it to seem like a genuine couple? And if she kissed him, would she interpret it as her genuinely fancying him, or would she do it just to feed into their façade?

Before she could think about anything else, someone shouted something above the music and everyone else talking. It seemed to have caught quite a few people’s attention, because the volume on the beach lowered considerably. Harry tore his eyes away from Y/N and looked in the direction of the commotion. Y/N did as well, craning her neck to see beyond the group of people that were hugging and crowding what looked to be a new guest. Harry froze in front of Y/N and she looked at him, then back at the group.

“What’s going on?” she asked.

“My…” Harry mumbled, pausing for some seconds. “Emilia.”

Y/N looked back at Harry. “Emilia?”

Harry nodded.

“Your ex?”

“The one who lived in Munich for two years, yeah.” Harry ran a hand through his hair before he met Y/N’s eyes. “I haven’t seen her since she came back, think she came back sometime last week.”

“Do you want to go say hi?”

“I…” Harry glanced in Emilia’s direction again, clearly thinking it over thoroughly. “I mean… yes, but… she’d meet you as well. She’d have to.”

“Why?”

“’Cause Dax won’t be able to keep himself from bringing up the fact that I have a new girlfriend. Pretend girlfriend, but… you know…”

Y/N nodded.

“If she knows I’m here and I’m with my new girlfriend, she’s gonna wanna meet you.”

She inhaled sharply. “Why would she want to meet the person you’re supposedly being intimate with now?”

Harry’s eyes grew wide for a single second before he composed himself, blinking himself back to reason. “Dunno. Emilia is very sociable. Just like you.”

“But she’d meet the person you’re with now, I don’t see why she’d want to meet them.”

“Maybe she’s happy for me, maybe she wants to meet someone who supposedly makes me happy,” Harry offered, shrugging his shoulders.

Y/N stared at him for a few seconds. “I know you said she didn’t want to be with you ‘cause it affected her mental health, and I get that, but leaving you when you were at your lowest is still an awful thing to do.”

Harry glanced at Y/N.

“And then not talking to you for two years after just sodding off to Munich. She doesn’t know what you’ve been through since then, do you think she’s gonna care now?”

Harry furrowed his brows. “Y/N, I loved Emilia.”

“I’m aware, but the people we love don’t have to love us back the same way we love them. One part always ends up loving more, feeling more, doing more. We can’t choose how much we love someone, and we don’t have a say in how they love us, but the fact of the matter is that if you love someone, you act like it. You let them know.”

Harry didn’t say anything, he just bit the inside of his cheek and continued to look at Y/N.

“I’m fully aware you loved Emilia, probably still do, but it doesn’t sit right with me that she just removed herself like that completely. You’re not a toxic person, you were just going through a rough time.”

“Harry!” Amir shouted, waving Harry and Y/N over. “Harry, mate!”

Harry watched Y/N for a few more seconds, probably either debating what she’d just said or losing every shred of respect he had for her, Y/N didn’t know. He nodded in the direction of everyone and the two started walking there, strolling the distance in silence. She didn’t know how she was supposed to interpret said silence, if it was a good kind or if he just didn’t want to talk to her for the rest of the night because he had taken offense to what she’d said.

When they reached the group, they made space for Harry and Y/N, and the first thing Y/N noticed was the brunette standing on the opposite side to the circle from them. Her blue eyes lit up when she saw Harry and she smiled at him instantly, clearly happy to see him after two years of no contact.

“Hi,” she exclaimed, crossing the circle, and giving Harry a hug. “It’s so good to see you again.”

“Yeah, you too,” Harry said. “How was Munich?”

“Amazing, I’m moving there permanently after University, I’m sure.” Emilia stepped away from Harry and immediately, her eyes fell on Y/N. “And this must be the girlfriend.”

Harry and Y/N’s eyes met, Harry raising his eyebrows in a quick “told you so”, which made Y/N smile some before turning back to Emilia.

“Yes, I guess I am. And you’re the ex.”

Harry shifted uncomfortably, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans as he looked from Y/N to Emilia and back again. It was evident that the rest of the group, and quite a few others as well, were watching this interaction with keen interest. They were probably waiting for one of them to start a fight and the other one to feed into it, something Harry would step in to stop and take sides, which would ultimately just end badly. It was clearly something a lot of people thought would be great entertainment. But Y/N kept her cool, not wanting to sound passive aggressive or make Harry uncomfortable. Though she was not impressed with Emilia’s past actions, she wasn’t about to judge her solely on them. Y/N hoped she was right not to.

“I am, it’s been so long since I’ve seen Harry.” Emilia looked back at Harry, considerably smaller than him, looking up at him through her lashes. “That rain check you were talking about, you could make up for it by walking me over to get a cup?”

Y/N looked at Harry, about to open her mouth and ask what rain check Emilia was talking about, but she realised it was none of her business. And questioning Harry like this in front of everyone would just feed into everything everyone wanted. So, Y/N just crossed her arms over her chest.

“Actually, we’re about to leave,” Harry said, giving Emilia a small smile.

Emilia pouted. “Really? It’ll only take you a minute.”

Harry opened his mouth to inhale hugely, looking over at Y/N who hoped he could tell she didn’t like this. But Harry met Emilia’s eyes again, taking a step back and Emilia grinned as the two started walking towards the table in the middle of the beach with all the cups. Y/N watched them, how easily they fell into conversation and how eager Emilia was to talk to Harry again. While witnessing this, Y/N kept reminding herself of what Harry had said earlier, about her becoming one of his closest friends. She hoped repeating that moment to herself would prevent her from getting hurt and sad and angry, but it didn’t. When turning back toward the gang, she realised both Ellie and Dax were watching Harry and Emilia as well. And upon taking a look around, she realised Jo, Amir, and Fatima were as well. Y/N didn’t know for what purpose, but if Dax’s tense jaw was any indicator, it couldn’t have been for a particularly good reason.

Why would Harry do that? Though Y/N wasn’t in a relationship with him, it was still embarrassing for her to have to stand there and wait for him. She felt ridiculous when Fatima met her eyes again, giving her an apologetic smile, one Y/N – Harry’s fake girlfriend – didn’t deserve, but she appreciated it nevertheless. Because despite everything, this hurt. She dug her nails into her upper arms as she stood there, mad at Harry for the first time ever. Though it had been gormless of Emilia to ask in the first place, Harry hadn’t really needed much persuasion.

As Emilia and Harry’s voices got louder, the gang started up a light conversation that Y/N pretended to be part of. She only gave Harry a slight glance before looking back at Dax who was talking, the guy not giving the returning two any of his attention either. Y/N wondered if Dax thought the same way about Emilia’s behaviour as she did, but then again, it wasn’t like Y/N could take Dax aside and ask him that. If Y/N sought Dax out to talk about Harry’s ex, it wouldn’t look good.

“Ready to leave?” Y/N asked, reaching into her tote bag for her cardigan. Some of her passive aggressiveness was detectable in her voice, she hoped no other than Harry picked up on it. She was still tipsy so she blamed her incapability to hold back on that.

“Yeah,” Harry said, standing very still as he watched Y/N put her cardigan on. Once it was on, she smiled at everyone, and then looked at Harry as he directed a “See ya, yeah?” at everyone. Though Dax was visibly sad the two were leaving, he seemed to know why they were bailing because he didn’t ask them why or stop them. Y/N put her shoes back on and the two started on their way back up the hill that led to the car park.

It was unexpected when Harry reached for her hand, intertwining his fingers with hers so slowly and so deliberately that she felt it in every single one of her cells. Though it was nice to feel him there, she had to bite her lip from saying anything as they walked up Burrow Road. The second they were out of sight and alone, Y/N let go of his hand. This wasn’t something Harry would’ve usually paid much attention had he not heard her passive aggression just a few moments earlier.

“Is it Emilia?” Harry asked.

It was stupid how the only time Harry managed to be blunt and upfront was when he knew he was in trouble or if someone was annoyed with him. At least Y/N thought so.

She straightened her back, wrapping her cardigan tighter around herself. “What about Emilia?”

“Is that why you’re all… mad? Dunno if mad is the best word.”

“Think it describes how I’m feeling perfectly,” Y/N said. “’Cause I’d say I’m mad with a dash of disappointed.”

Harry looked over at her, frowning again. “Why?”

“Why am I mad you walked over there with Emilia?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N shrugged her shoulders exaggeratingly. “Call it intuition, call it paranoia, call it whatever you bloody want, but I think she wants you back now that you’re not broken up about your Dad anymore.”

Harry took a few seconds to say, “I’ll call that stupidity.”

The laugh that left Y/N was anything but friendly and warm. “Fine. Do whatever you want.”

“Why are you so mad about this anyway? It’s not like we’re…” Harry stopped himself, looking over at Y/N who refused to look at him. “It’s not like we’re a couple.”

“It’s still embarrassing. I was left standing there while my boyfriend walked off with his ex. You don’t even want to admit that what you did was stupid.”

“’Cause it’s not, we just walked down to that table so she could get herself a cup.”

Y/N sighed, running her hands over her face. “Yes, it’s an innocent act and I probably have no right to act like this, but I’m being a friend. I’m trying to look out for you.”

“Are you?”

“What?”

“Being a friend, looking out for me?”

Y/N looked at him, seeing his set jaw and piercing eyes. “Why wouldn’t I look out for you?”

“Right now you just seem mad I hung out with my ex.”

She glanced away again, so frustrated with him that she felt like screaming. They reached Back Road, Y/N walking straight ahead to take the quickest way back to the Inn, Harry was turning right to Clodgy. “Interpret it any way you want, Harry. I’m being truthful when I tell you I just want what’s best for you.”

There was a pause as Harry watched Y/N cross the road. “You’re just gonna leave like that? You don’t wanna talk it out?”

“You don’t understand where I’m coming from, Harry!” Y/N exclaimed as she faced him, turning her back on the dark alleyway behind her. “What’s the point?!”

“Y/N, it’s not like I’m making out with Emilia in front of everyone!”

“I know, but that small act of just walking down there has a lot of meaning! She wants to make up for lost time!”

“You’re just reading too much into this!”

“And you think the best of people who hurt you!”

“She left for her own good, don’t blame her for that!”

“I’m not! I just think it’s odd to not check up on you in those two years following your breakup when you were clearly having a tough time when she left!”

“Oh, my days, Y/N.” Harry ran his hands over his face and through his hair.

“I know you want to see the best in everyone, but I’ve experienced people fucking me over ‘cause I gave them the benefit of the doubt. Multiple times. I’m not doing that again, I’m-I’m just not. And I don’t want to watch that same thing happen to you.”

Harry blinked when Y/N cursed, but quickly regained himself. “I can take care of myself!”

“I’m just being a friend and looking out for you, I’m sorry if-“

“-And what if I don’t want you to look out for me as a friend?!”

Y/N was about to answer, but she felt something brush against her back and then a figure moving out of the dark alleyway behind her. Her heart skipped a beat and the next thing she knew, she felt it in her throat. She jumped out of the way, stepping just in the crack between two cobblestones and stumbling away from the stranger. The man looked at Y/N as she regained her balance, about to reach his hand out to help her when Harry rushed across the road. Y/N managed herself, but she took another step away from the stranger who genuinely looked baffled as to what had just happened. Y/N put a hand over her heart, feeling it beating furiously. Calm down, calm down, calm down, she told herself, feeling safer the second Harry put a hand to her upper arm.

“You alright, miss?” the man asked, looking at Harry who was standing beside Y/N, making sure she was okay.

“Sorry,” Y/N said, doing her best to give him a smile. “I’m just a bit jumpy. And a tad drunk.”

He laughed joyously before continuing on his way, and the second he turned away, Y/N’s face fell. Harry noticed and turned her to face him, squeezing her shoulders so she’d look at him. She balled her hands into fists as she felt her heart beating hard, calming down from the sudden rush of adrenaline.

“You’re okay,” he said, recognising her reaction from that first time she read to him in the grass beside the lighthouse.

Y/N nodded, meeting Harry’s eyes and telling herself it was all fine. She would be fine. Harry was here and nothing would happen to her while he was here. She continued to look at him till she was calmer, but the thought of walking down that dark alleyway now made her want to hurl. However, she didn’t have any other place to walk and she had to get back somehow. Maybe she could call Bessie and talk to her, or maybe she could find another and maybe longer route back. But then she’d be out in the open longer than she initially wanted to.

“Have you always been like that?” Harry asked, the question curious and without any hint of judgement.

“Like what?”

“Paranoid.”

Y/N smiled a little as if that would brighten the mood that had fallen considerably. Slowly, she nodded, averting her eyes from Harry’s. “I like being prepared for anything, for any possible outcome.”

Harry didn’t remove his hands from where they rested on her shoulders.

“So, I either make them up, or if something happens unexpectedly, my brain does this thing where it tells me that the worst possible thing is happening, and I need to escape.”

“What’s the worst possible thing that can happen?”

“In any scenario?”

“Yeah.”

Y/N watched as someone turned every light in their flat off, wishing she was in her bed right now. “That my Dad finds me.”

Harry stayed quiet.

“He terrifies me. Always has. I know he won’t hurt me, but… he’s a bad man, Harry. A very bad man.”

“He won’t come here, Y/N. You’re safe in St Ives.”

Some part of her laughed at that, but when she met his eyes, she knew he genuinely meant it. If Harry was there, he would not let anything happen to her. No matter what. Even if they had a disagreement the second before her Dad showed up. But her father knew where she was and if he wanted her back, he would do what he could to get her back. A lighthouse keeper wouldn’t stand in his way.

Y/N felt her bottom lip starting to wobble at the thought of it, and she put a hand in front of her mouth when the back of her eyes started to sting.

“Hey,” Harry said, squeezing her shoulders. “Let’s go back to mine, yeah? You won’t have to be alone.”

She met his eyes, blinking a few times as she processed his offer. “Yours?”

“Yeah, if you’re a bit shaken up, I thought you might… might not want to be alone.”

Without really registering what she was doing, Y/N was nodding her head to answer his question. “If you’re sure I won’t be a burden in any way-“

“-Flower, you’re never.”

She almost thought she heard him incorrectly. Flower. She had never gotten a nickname before. Her friends back home used to call her ‘babe’ and her mother would sometimes call her ‘sweetheart’ and Bessie referred to her as ‘dear’, but never this one. She suddenly felt a little lightheaded.

Harry wrapped an arm around her and held her to him as they walked through the city. He hummed to The Power of Love as they strolled, keeping the empty and quiet streets of St Ives alive as long as they were walking through them. Y/N looked about them, staring down alleyways and streets, sometimes being too afraid to even to study the shadows or look to make out silhouettes in the darkness. Harry’s humming kept her grounded and reminded her that she wasn’t alone. Once they were walking along the road up to Clodgy Point, Harry let go of her, letting her walk by herself. It was starting to get a bit chilly when the winds of the moors started up around them, so Y/N reached for Harry’s knitted jumper in her tote bag and gave it to him. He was a bit taken aback by that, seemingly having forgotten it was there, but he thanked her, the only two words being uttered at all on their 30-minute walk up to the lighthouse.

Harry unlocked the door and walked in first, turning the light on the coffee table on as Y/N locked the front door. He opened a window to let some air in, then took his jumper and shoes off. Y/N did the same, wrapping her arms around herself. She was aware it had been Harry’s idea for her to stay here, but she suddenly felt like she was intruding. This was his space and his bedtime routine. They had walked off most of their drunkenness, so when Y/N tripped over her own feet a bit, it was purely from exhaustion. Harry was almost about to reach out and catch her even though he was across the room, but his dedication to help her made her chuckle a little. Harry smiled at the sound of it.

Y/N put her tote bag on one of the chairs, putting her cardigan over the back of it as well.

“I…” Harry started, making Y/N look over at where he stood by his dresser. “I have a few shirts and stuff if you wanna freshen up some.”

Y/N chuckled. “What do you mean?”

Realising he probably didn’t make sense, Harry let a breath escape his lips as well. “I meant, if you wanna have a shower, I’ll lend you a tee shirt.”

The thought of showering in Harry’s space seemed almost a bit surreal, but for some reason, also completely normal. She spent so much time here and with him that in a way, it was weird that she hadn’t showered here before. She slowly nodded her head, and Harry opened a drawer, pulling out an old tee white shirt with a small Elton John logo on the chest.

“Towels,” Harry said, walking over to his tiny bathroom and turning the lights on for her. “They’re here, and I got everything you might need in the shower. There’s an unused toothbrush in the cabinet under the sink.”

“Thank you.”

Harry gave her a smile before closing the door. Taking a breather first, the next thing Y/N did was get undressed and take that shower. She washed away the argument with Harry and the reason why it was cut off so abruptly; tried to soak herself in everything else that happened tonight that made her entire body warm. When Harry kissed her cheek; the way his hot lips felt against her skin, how the thought of that moment alone made her feel some type of way. She knew Harry only did it so everyone would think they were a couple, but her cheek was tingling.

She got out of the shower, drying herself off, and putting Harry’s tee shirt on, her skirt under it. Yes, the two were starting to get comfortable around one another, but she wasn’t sure if they were just there yet. Last thing she wanted to do was walk out there in her knickers and one of his tee shirts, then make him uncomfortable in any way. Though she felt like a raisin since she was not doing her usual post-shower skin routine, nor any hair products for her hair, she told herself she’d do it tomorrow when she was back to the Inn.

She walked outside to see Harry laying in his bed, his small telly that was stood by his couch, turned around so he could watch a rerun of an old Would I Lie To You episode. When the bathroom door opened, he instantly looked in her direction, placing his hands on either side of his form as if he got ready to get up. Their eyes met and his eyes fell to her tee shirt, where the material hugged her waist firmly. He met her eyes again, swallowing thickly before he gestured beside him at two glasses of water.

“One by the window is yours.”

“I’m literally so thirsty, thank you.”

Harry smiled, walking past Y/N and into the bathroom, going to take his own shower. Y/N sat down in Harry’s bed, nuzzling under the covers and taking a hold of her glass. She brought it to her lips, sipping it till it was empty, watching the telly as she did. She got up for a refill, drank half, and then just continued to watch the telly for a bit. The light in the room was dim enough so she could easily fall asleep, and she almost did drift off against the headboard, but then Harry exited the bathroom and woke her up with a start.

“Oh!” he exclaimed. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

She smiled, sinking down into the pillow. “Almost went off to dreamland there.”

“Soz.”

“I’m a light sleeper, it’s not your fault.”

Harry nodded, walking over to turn the lights off, the only light in the entire little cottage now being the light from the telly. He strolled over to the fridge and took a cucumber out. Y/N watched him as he brought a knife out, cutting it up in half.

“You hungry?” he asked.

“Just brushed my teeth.”

“So did I, but after I’ve been out, I usually eat half a cucumber before bed.”

Y/N stared at him.

“What?”

“Just… just a cucumber? Nothing else?”

“What else? Do you spice your cucumber? With what?” Harry looked at his little box of spices by his stove. “Onion granules?”

Y/N laughed, placing her hands on the duvet above her stomach.

“I actually had jalfrezi leftovers after we went to the pub a few weeks ago,” Harry said as he came over to the bed, giving Y/N half the cucumber. “So I dipped my cucumber in that and ate it.”

Y/N grimaced. “Were you still pissed?”

“No,” Harry chuckled. “I just like cucumber and Indian food.”

“Fair enough.”

Harry picked up one of his quilts and sat down in bed beside Y/N, draping it over himself so she could have the duvet for herself. He bit into his half of the cucumber, completely unfazed as his eyes fell on the telly. Y/N tried not to laugh, but he looked so incredibly cute, munching on his cucumber and smiling at something Rob Brydon said. He must’ve noticed her not eating, because he looked down at where she laid in bed, raising his eyebrows.

“You weren’t hungry?”

“It’s not that.”

“It’s honestly refreshing.” Harry took another bite. “I love it.”

That made her smile and she took a bite of her cucumber as well, Harry watching her as she chewed and then swallowed.

“Well…? Your verdict?”

“It’s just a cucumber.”

Harry rolled his eyes, making Y/N laugh again. “You’re humiliating.”

“Says the person who eats half a cucumber before bed!”

“I’m quirky!”

Laughing again, the two fell into comfortable silence as they watched the rest of the Would I Lie To You episode. Though the idea of eating half a cucumber hadn’t been very appealing to begin with, it did make her feel a bit better. She didn’t know she’d been hungry till now, the cucumber and the two glasses of water had done a well enough job to fill her stomach up before bed, so she didn’t bother asking Harry if she could make herself a toastie. Instead, Y/N found her eyes falling shut, her entire body relaxing completely. All the worry and the paranoia and the fight earlier all came together now, making her so tired she could barely stand to keep her eyes open. Her entire body ached with the effort it took to stay awake. She stayed as close to the wall as possible, where she could look out across the dimly lit lightkeeper house.

Y/N felt the move as Harry reached out to the windowsill. He sat back, screwing the lid open, revealing a balm of some sort. He rubbed his middle finger in it, slowly sliding it along the thick balm till his finger was wet with it. Y/N bit her bottom lip. For some reason, she thought he was going to smear it across his own lips, some sort of cream to help keep his lips moisturised. No, instead Harry dragged his finger under his eyes. Not directly under his eyes, but along his cheekbones, slowly and gently.

“What’s that?” Y/N asked through a yawn.

Harry looked away from the telly and at her. “Face cream.”

“You put it on before bed?”

“It helps me sleep, it’s made of lavender and apricot. Both are supposed to help you fall into a deep sleep.”

“Can I try?”

“Yeah.” Harry handed it over, leaning his head back against the headboard, watching Y/N as she smelled it.

“Lush.”

“It is.”

Y/N rubbed her finger in it, putting it along under her eye. She was aware Harry was keeping an eye on her, but she pretended to find the programme incredibly interesting right then. She heard a slight chuckle.

“Not directly under your eyes,” Harry said. “Not there.” He leaned over, taking a delicate grip of her wrist and moving her hand down. “Here.” His hand moved upward to cup hers, his little finger, ring finger, and middle finger hooking themselves tenderly between her thumb and index. His index rested on top of hers as he guided her hand slowly and gently, tipping his head to the side to rest against the headboard while he concentrated. She didn’t dare look away from the telly, too overwhelmed to do anything but let him help her.

“Then the other eye,” he mumbled, telling her what was going to happen next. Because without warning, he dipped his finger in the balm Y/N was holding, swirling his finger slowly around till it was moist. When he did that, she simply could not help herself, and her eyes fell to look at his hand, taken aback by what was happening. However, she didn’t move or tell him to stop when Harry brought his hand up, sliding it over her cheekbone. Soft, slow, graceful. A prickling hot sensation followed where he touched, slowly spreading through her entire body. She looked away from the balm and at Harry, the second she did, he glanced back at her. A slight breath left her lips, Harry’s eyes falling to them. She sat up, finding the lid and placing it back on the balm. She handed it back to Harry.

Harry took it, placing it back in the windowsill before he got up from bed. Y/N lay back down, quickly checking the pulse on her neck because she knew her heart was beating hard. If it beat hard enough, would it somehow make the bed creak? Was it possible her heartbeat made her entire body shake like that? Just in case, Y/N switched so she was laying on her side. She watched as Harry turned the telly off, the room falling into complete darkness. Y/N closed her eyes, realising for the first time in a minute or two how sleepy she actually was.

It took a second or two before she felt the bed move and creak as he sat down. He shuffled till he was comfortable laying on his side facing her. Only reason she knew that was because she heard his content sigh and felt his breath on her face. It had been quiet for a minute or so before Harry whispered her name.

“Hm?” she asked, opening her eyes slightly. She could not make out much, but she thought she might’ve seen him looking at her. That might also just be her imagination playing tricks on her.

“I’m sorry about earlier,” he said, his voice a whisper.

“I’m sorry, too.”

“I know you’re just looking out for me and I’m sorry if it was embarrassing for you when I did that.”

“I’m sorry I criticised her for leaving you when it was bad for her mental health, I just know that it can’t have been easy to have been in your shoes just then, so that break up can’t have been easy to deal with on top of everything else.”

Silence stretched on for a few seconds. “It wasn’t. But I don’t blame her for leaving if that was what was best for her.”

Y/N closed her eyes again. “Okay.”

She felt the bed move again as Harry found a new position that was more comfortable. The pillow she rested her head on moved a bit, she reckoned he slung his arm over the top of her head.

“Goodnight, Y/N,” Harry said, voice slurring now as well.

“Night.”

“My alarm will go off at 3am, by the way.”

She smiled. “I know.”

She heard him let out a slight breath, sounding like a small chuckle, and the next thing she knew, she was having the slumber of her life.

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whats-rambled-rambled · 4 years ago

Text

Smoke & Mirrors - part 4

Neil x Reader

Chapter 4: Save me

(see chapter 3, 2, 1)

summary: what’s gonna happen if we lock them together for some time...?

warnings: some violence, language and other explicit things, 18+

author’s note: 4,8k words, just because I thought I needed to add more plot to it because you wanted 2 shorter chapters instead of a longer one. Who’s laughing now?

Reading this may cause a slight whiplash. Sorry, not sorry.

song for this chapter: Aimee Mann - Save me

Anyway, enjoy and let me know what you think, please?

----

The Protagonist’s eyes darted at Ives.

“And what did she say?”

“Short answer? Nunya,” Ives shrugged, closing the door behind him.

Wheeler giggled and TP looked at her in confusion.

“Long answer,” continued Ives, joining the other two by the coffee machine, “is that as long as they're doing their job, it doesn’t matter who they are fucking in their free time.”

“And are they?”

“What, fucking? I thought we’ve already--”

“No, doing their job,” TP pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed. “I have a mission for them, but it requires locking them together for a significant amount of time.”

Wheeler took a sip from her cup. “If they don’t bond, they’ll bone, and I’d say it’s better than killing each other.”

Ives snorted, clearly amused, but TP hid his face in his palms and groaned lightly.

“Was that your plan all along?”

Wheeler gave them an innocent smile. “Wasn’t yours?” she asked, and as she caught the exchange of looks, her eyes lit up. “You’re welcome.”

-----

You found the car parked near the front door and you had to admit - that grey-ish sedan was the dullest, most ordinary vehicle you’d seen in a while. And that’s why it was perfect.

Neil tossed you the keys and proceeded to load your bags into the trunk. You went to check the GPS setting. The total route was calculated for a little over 5 hours, which gave you enough time to go over the details of the assignment at least once on the way there.

As your mission partner took the passenger seat, you handed him the tablet with all the documents loaded up and ready to go. He nodded, fortunately sparing you the small talk and unnecessary comments, and started reading through them out loud as you followed the GPS directions to your destination.

What you didn’t expect was an almost insultingly short length of reports from the previous stakeout teams, and even a slightly more detailed operation brief was not enough to keep you occupied for too long. Exhausting all the work-related topics, you tensed, suddenly uncomfortable in the silence between the two of you. Especially since you caught Neil’s stare, because if his furrowed brows could be any indication, you had a feeling he might start asking way too many questions any minute now.

As the radio crackled again, you groaned in frustration. There were still two hours left of traveling through the middle of nowhere, and you’d appreciate any distraction that wouldn’t make you want to drive into the nearest tree. Unlike talking to your partner.

Neil opened the glove compartment and searched through its contents. He found a thick CD case and started flipping through pages curiously. With the corner of your eye, you saw a grin lighting his face when he finally picked one.

As you heard the familiar piano notes, your knuckles on the steering wheel turned white. Oh, fuck no.

You glared at Neil, who was gently swaying his head, eyes closed, fighting himself to keep a straight face. When the lyrics started, he pressed his palms to his chest right over his heart and looked at you as he mouthed the words.

//When I was young

I never needed anyone

And making love was just for fun

Those days are gone//

You gritted your teeth and focused back on the road, trying to keep in check the rising anger already boiling the blood in your veins, as Neil was clearly feeling the song more and more with every line.

Well, at least this time he wasn’t--...

And then just as the chorus was about to hit, Neil mimicked the opening drum sequence and spread his arms wide, singing along:

//All by myself

Don't wanna be

All by myself

Anymore//

“If you don’t change that fucking song in the next 10 seconds, be ready to walk all the way to the city--...”

“Come on, it’s a classic!” he complained, the biggest smile not leaving his face even for a moment.

You smacked your tongue, finding your most casual voice, “...and I’m not gonna be bothered with pulling over.”

Neil turned down the volume so the music was barely audible, and while it was not what you’d asked him to do, he didn’t give you a chance to scold him.

“I bet you’ve spent at least one evening listening to that song with a big box of ice cream on your lap,” he smirked, closely watching your reaction to his words.

You could feel your ears burning. Fucking hell, you really hated his guts.

“No,” you scoffed, but even you were not convinced by the sound of that. Judging by Neil’s expression, neither was he. You winced and groaned, ”...shut up!”

“Nothing to be ashamed of,” - he shrugged - “been there, done that.”

“Of course you have,” you couldn’t help but snicker at the image planted in your head.

The blue eyes studied you for a while longer before focusing back at the view outside the window. Meanwhile, the song ended, getting replaced by an instrumental track. You turned the volume up and for the next minute or two, you drove in silence.

When you heard a light chuckle, you glanced at Neil again. There was something peculiar in the look on his face, a soft gaze in contrast to a knowing grin.

You sighed.

“Do I wanna know what you’re grinning about now?”

Neil raised a brow and his lips parted in an even wider smile.

“Probably not.”

You shook your head, drawing a long breath, wondering how you were going to survive the next forty-something hours together. You could just hope that being at the actual location and starting the real work was going to make it easier.

Grounding yourself, you stared into the darkness stepping back under the car’s headlights as dusk slowly turned into night. You noticed a faint glow of city lights reflecting in the clouds over the horizon and you relaxed slowly, tuning out anything other than the road ahead.

Just as the CD player jumped back to the first song again and you switched to a local radio station, now clear of static, you realized your companion had been unusually quiet for the last half an hour. You looked at the passenger seat only to find Neil deep in his sleep and your heart started beating a little faster. Suddenly, everything about the sight seemed endearing - the peaceful face under the ruffled blonde hair, the slightly open mouth almost hidden behind the turned-up collar of the dark navy jacket, the way he wrapped his arms around himself in a little self-hug…

Your lips curled into a fond smile and as your chest clenched painfully, you turned the radio down, wishing you could do the same thing to your feelings just as easily.

-----------

The second you pulled over in the alley at the back of the abandoned hotel, two figures emerged from the door and rushed in your direction. You recognized the fellow agents and jumped out of the car to make the exchange as smooth as possible.

“Ten-minute window until the patrol comes back,” you said to a short brunette, taking your bags out of the trunk and passing her the car keys.

“Got it,” she nodded, handing you the room key in return. “Our report should be ready before we reach HQ, I will send it to you ASAP.”

“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that the lack of an easy escape plan is intentional,” said Neil as he grabbed one of the bags and looked around.

“But it is,” you shrugged, walking into the building and heading to the nearest staircase. “No loose ends. You’re either good enough to make it out undiscovered and alive, or you get revealed and --...”

“...and then even having the cavalry on call is not going to make a difference, I get it,’ he sighed, matching your two-steps-at-once pace up the stairs, “Can’t say I like it, though.”

“So let’s try not to do anything stupid so we don’t get caught, shall we?”

A corner of your lips twitched as you heard him scoff at your remark, but to your surprise, he didn’t take the bait. Huh.

When you reached the room, you turned the lock and looked around, taking mental note of the location of every piece of equipment left by the previous team - two cameras, night vision binoculars, and a parabolic microphone placed by the windows. Some parts of the blinds on the windows were broken, others were missing, but the remaining parts still provided a decent cover from the curious eyes peeking up from street level. Other than that, the room was exactly what you would expect from a stakeout location - peeled-off wallpapers of an undefined color, a small table with an electric kettle, a couple of chairs, a mini-fridge, and a mattress.

As you went to check the last few minutes registered by the camera, Neil started unpacking the supplies. Seeing nothing interesting on the feed, you grabbed one of the water bottles he’d just put on the table and took a seat by the window, your usual first-hour-of-stakeout enthusiasm fending off the tiredness you felt after the long drive.

Neil took a laptop and sat on a chair at the other window, alternating glancing outside and typing in a message to TP with a quick update on your situation.

Your main objective was to observe the building on the other side of the street, especially one loft that was suspected to be a meeting place for one of the smuggling cells’ bosses. Snapping photos of the vehicles pulling over, of the visitors, and reporting any odd activity straight ahead. The usual. But it was past midnight already and your targets were having a pretty quiet night, apparently.

As Neil finished filing in the paperwork, he stretched his arms and groaned.

“Tea?”

You rubbed your eyes, a sudden wave of sleepiness flooded your brain as soon as you lost focus on the mission.

“Yes, please, there should be a box with a green one somewhere.”

“Ah, pity, I don’t know how well it’s gonna mix with the biscuits,” said Neil in a ridiculous posh accent, making you facepalm in response.

Partially, to hide an amused smile.

You really were that tired, huh?

“I take my tea with no sugar, no biscuits, and no snarky comments, thanks,” you huffed as your eyes followed him to the table.

“I, too, don’t like talking over a cuppa.”

“What did I just say--” you groaned, smacking your thigh in frustration.

Neil giggled and rolled his eyes, now lit by a playful twinkle. “All right, one ‘green tea no bullshit’ coming right up.”

“Thank you,” you sighed, glancing up to the ceiling as if it was supposed to help with the alarming level of annoyance in your system.

Less than two hours on-site and you already wanted to strangle him.

Among other things.

And before you could stop your tired brain, it brought up a memory of that karaoke night.

His hands roaming through your body. The sound of a belt buckle hitting the floor. Your frantic gasp when you felt him inside you. His firm grip on your hips. The heart racing in your chest. Your longing body pressing itself into him even further. His uneven breath on your neck. The quickening pace of his thrusts. Your eyes squeezing shut. His muffled moan when you tugged at his hair. The cold wall against your cheek. Your fingers interlocked. His arm wrapped around you tightly. The things whispered into your ear---

“Your tea.”

“Hmm?” you mumbled, blinking rapidly and focusing your gaze on a thermal cup in front of your face. “Oh, thanks.”

Neil studied your expression curiously, a sly grin hiding in the corner of his mouth.

“Pleasant daydream?”

“Maybe,” you sent him a smug smile and raised a brow.

His lips parted slightly at the implication. Drinking his tea, he schooled his features and sat back on the chair.

You spent the next moments enjoying the hot beverages, the silence becoming more comfortable with every sip you took. But as the time went by and you ran out of tea, the peacefulness turned into boredom.

Finally, Neil shuffled in his seat and turned your way.

"We should play a game."

Even though it sounded tempting, you didn’t trust those roguish sparks in his eyes.

“We already had a chance to play ‘yellow car’,” - you shrugged - “not my fault you chose a nap instead.”

His puzzled face gave you a hint he didn’t get the reference. Pity.

“I was thinking about some sort of...questions game,” he said and cleared his throat, shifting in his chair again. "To get to know each other better."

"Why?" you stared at him with your mouth open, suddenly taken aback.

He gave you a half-smile. "Don't you think it's weird that the only thing I know about you is all the ways to turn you on and piss you off?"

"Wouldn't be so confident about that ‘all’ part…" you huffed and lost a train of thought as you spotted the familiar flare in his gaze.

"You’re sure you wanna challenge me like that right now?"

A cold shiver ran down your spine at the way his voice got lower. You gritted your teeth as your mind started racing to find a way out of the dangerous waters.

"Aren't you a master of multitasking?" you teased, batting your eyelashes.

"And aren't you scared of having an actual conversation?" Neil narrowed his eyes and grimaced slightly.

"Fine!” you fumed as you tossed your hands in the air in defeat. “Why don’t you get straight to the point because I have a weird feeling you have a very specific question in mind."

A silence that dropped after your words was heavy and you realized you’d made a mistake.

"Actually, I do,” he said, tilting his head and locking his gaze on you. “What's up with you and kissing?"

...shit, walked right into that one, huh?

You pulled one leg up on the chair, glancing outside the window to avoid the blue eyes boring into you. "It's nothing."

“Didn’t look like nothing to me.”

Sighing, you rested the chin on your knee and wrapped your arms around it, as if that little bit of comfort was enough to make the conversation easier. Your ears were burning, your heart pounded heavily in the clenched chest, and it all was only adding to your frustration. Because it really was nothing. Or maybe it should have been, and that was the issue.

“If you don’t wanna talk about it--”

Your eyes darted at Neil only to meet his soft look. A shadow of concern on his face wasn’t helping, but you were grateful that he was willing to give you a way out.

Although at that moment, you felt you owed him an explanation.

“No, it’s just that it’s a bit silly,” you said, wincing. “I’m gonna tell you, but if you laugh, I will murder you in your sleep.”

Neil smiled lightly in encouragement.

“Got it.”

So you took a deep breath and squeezed the first word past the lump in your throat.

“It’s just that kissing to me was always something… special,” you cringed, fully aware that you sounded like a flustered teenager. “Like it really meant something. Do you know where I’m going with this?”

Neil’s brows knitted together.

“I think so, yeah.”

“Good,” you sighed, forcing yourself to breathe again. “And some time ago, I made a mistake and opened up too soon, burning myself. Fuck, it’s pathetic, I know, I just…” you hesitated and looked away, feeling the rising panic. You were exposing yourself, again. “...maybe I’m just wired that way and we should leave it at that. And never talk about it again,” your voice was hollow, the result of your brain’s desperate attempts to keep your emotions bottled up, just to keep you safe.

And after what felt like forever--

“Okay.”

You shot him a thankful look, too overwhelmed to say anything.

Neil got up, moving his shoulders in small circles to get rid of the stiffness. As he walked by you on his way to the bathroom, he patted your arm lightly. Reassuringly. The tip of your nose tingled and you bit the inside of your cheek, cursing a sudden wave of softness clouding your mind.

A few minutes passed and Neil was back. He fell on the chair heavily, slowly massaging his temples with the tips of his fingers. Catching a question in your stare, he shook his head and grinned.

“What?” you asked, squinting suspiciously.

Neil chuckled, leaning back and spreading his legs. “Trying to figure you out is giving me a headache.”

You rolled your eyes and scoffed, focusing on the view outside the window.

“Who we are and who we need to be to survive are two different things, you know.”

“So it’s all an act?”

You looked back at him, suddenly perplexed. “What is?”

“This,” he gestured vaguely in your direction and shrugged. “Or rather your usual behavior.”

You snorted. “Oh, I am a real ray of sunshine, but somehow being around you makes my inner bitch jump out,” you teased, meeting his amused gaze. A corner of your lips curled and you exhaled slowly. “I don’t know, after some time you learn life is easier that way, and at one point the line blurs,” you stopped for a second and frowned, wondering what had gotten into you tonight. “Does it make any sense to you?”

Something new tainted Neil’s features as he looked away, smiling sadly.

“You have no idea.”

Just as you opened your mouth to ask what was wrong, the blue eyes darted back at you.

“I’ll take the first shift, already had my nap after all,” the little laugh escaping his mouth felt forced. “You must be exhausted. Try to get some sleep.”

Oh you were exhausted, all right. But all of the sudden it felt as if he wanted to get rid of you and you couldn’t help feeling a bit hurt by that. There was something in his presence that gave you a hint that it wasn’t the best idea to pressure him about it now, and you slumped your shoulders, nodding.

“Thank you,” you said quietly, getting up. All that held-back fatigue was going to hit you in full force any minute now, and you really wanted to be laid down by then.

A few moments in the bathroom and you were back in the room again in more comfortable clothes. You rolled out a sleeping bag on the mattress and slipped into it, covering your mouth as you let out a small yawn.

“Wake me up if anything happens or you need me to take over, will you?”

Neil shot you a quick look from his chair.

“Sure thing,” he gave you a weak smile. “Goodnight.”

“‘Night,” you mumbled.

You curled up and closed your eyes, hoping the heaviness you felt in your chest would be gone by the morning.

--------

It took your still half-asleep brain a moment to remember where you were and what was going on. You looked around as much as you could without moving your body to avoid revealing that you were no longer asleep. Oh right, the stakeout.

You noticed Neil sitting on the floor by the only floor-to-ceiling window near the corner of the room, looking outside. The early morning light seeping through the blinds was reflecting in the disheveled blonde hair, a fitting addition to his overall tired appearance. It seemed like he’d spent most of the night working through whatever bothered him after your last talk, but he seemed more at peace now. You studied him in a little moment of sleep-deprived self-indulgence, musing over the dark quarter zip pullover, those absurdly long legs in khaki pants--...

Okay, enough. You sat up, rubbing your face.

“How’s the mattress?”

Hearing Neil’s raspy voice made you quite tempted to invite him over to check for himself.

“Passable,” you replied instead, stretching your arms and wriggling out of your sleeping bag. You nodded at the cameras. “Anything?”

“Not really. One visitor, already on the list,” he said as his eyes followed you around the room.

“All right,” you sighed, flipping the switch on the kettle. “I need coffee, you want some?”

“No, thank you, but if you could pass me a bottle of water--”

You grabbed one and tossed it to him, heading to the bathroom.

When you finally looked and felt like a decent human being again, you went back to finish making coffee. As you walked to the windows with the thermal cup in your hands, you caught Neil’s resigned stare. You sat down on the floor in front of him, leaning your shoulder against the wall. A glimpse of internal battle clouded his features and you tilted your head, waiting for him to speak up first.

“I didn’t want this,” he blurted out, and when nothing else followed the statement, you cleared your throat.

“You have to be more specific, I’m afraid.”

Neil clenched his jaw. You noticed a hint of frustration in his eyes, but then his shoulders dropped and he let out a nervous chuckle, fastening his gaze on the view outside the window.

“I wanted to do things by the book. When TP recruited me… I thought I’d be just another field agent and I was okay with that,” he sighed and grimaced. “But he insisted on fast-tracking me, even when I told him it wasn’t fair to the rest of you.” Neil shook his head slowly and a corner of his lips twitched. “He promised me one of his best agents’ help on the way though. Imagine my surprise when the agent in question kept snarling at me and shoving me around instead.”

When Neil looked back at you, you realized the meaning behind his words and your mind went blank. You stared into the blue eyes with your mouth open, trying to process everything you’d just heard and its implications.

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” you breathed out, feeling light-headed.

“Why?”

“Nobody told you…?” you asked, but his confused expression was his only answer. And you simply couldn’t believe that he hadn’t known all this time. “I’d been working my ass off for that position,” you huffed, studying his reaction to your words closely. “And then you showed up.”

Neil’s face dropped as he finally connected all the dots. “Fuck...I had no idea, I’m sorry.”

Seeing his sincere look, you sighed, raking fingers through your hair. Fucking hell, what a mess. The impossible mix of emotions swirled inside you and you giggled hysterically, suddenly finding the whole situation absolutely hilarious.

“And I had no idea I was supposed to babysit you,” you said as you stretched your legs, positioning them alongside Neil’s.

“Thought we were having a moment here,” he scoffed, smiling lightly.

You smirked and tapped his thigh with your foot.

“Think again.”

Neil tapped you back, stifling a chuckle. “You’re insufferable.”

“Too bad you can’t do anything about that now, huh,” you teased, wiggling your brows as you nibbled at your bottom lip.

The blue eyes lit up. “Just you wait till we finish the job,” he said slowly and placed a hand on your ankle.

But before you could respond, you heard a phone alert and Neil jumped at his feet.

He read the message quickly.

“Seems like we are about to see some action after all,” he said, pressing the phone to his ear. You downed your coffee and joined Neil by the table.

“Hold on, I’m gonna put you on speaker… okay, now”

“Hope you two are rested,” TP’s voice filled the room. “We intercepted a phone call. Our target is expecting a delivery in the next hour or so. Significant enough that from this moment on, the mission objective changes.” You exchanged looks with Neil, knowing well what was coming next. You walked back to the windows to keep an eye on the street. “We have a chance to prevent this shipment from spreading to different sellers. I’m sending the cavalry your way. But you’ll need to assess the situation as it progresses.”

“Means we might have to engage early, got it.”

“It’s your call, Neil. And as we have enough intel now… no loose ends. Good luck.” said TP and hung up.

Neil tossed the phone on the table and dashed to the bags to prep the equipment. You noticed movement in the loft across the street and snapped a few pictures before looking back at your partner.

“Are you good to go? You haven’t slept tonight.”

He glanced at you and gave you a smug smile.

“How nice of you to worry about me.”

You could feel the usual annoyance mixed with a new emotion, but maybe you were just glad to be back on familiar waters.

“Nah, I’m worried about the mission,” you snorted. “Especially if we may end up going in there alone.”

“I’m okay. How does it look out there?”

You looked outside again and tensed as a van appeared at the end of the street. “We’ve got company.”

Neil changed you by the window and you rushed to get ready.

-------

After clearing the back entrance, you found yourselves in the underground garage.

Splitting up, you took down the guards one by one without raising any alarms.

Neil checked the van and then you both made your way upstairs. You knew there were at least five more people in the loft, but you had to rely on the element of surprise because the cavalry was still on their way.

As you got to the door, you cocked your pistol and met Neil’s determined stare. You nodded.

Bursting through the door, your instincts kicked in, allowing you to put a bullet into two men before they had a chance to realize what was going on. In the next second all hell broke loose. You knew one thing - you somehow underestimated the numbers. And just as you thought that maybe you got lucky and got every last of them, someone grabbed you from behind and you felt something cold and sharp pressed against your neck. Fuck.

You dug your fingers into the arm wrapped around your shoulders, but a stinging pain made you stop any further attempts at breaking free. The blood pounded in your ears and everything seemed to slow down.

You noticed Neil standing in front of you with a gun pointed right next to your head.

He secured a grip on his pistol and the man holding you yelled something at him, but you didn’t listen, focusing completely on the blue eyes, now filled with a silent question, looking straight into yours.

You let out a shaky breath and blinked slowly.

A gunshot echoed through the room.

The pressure on your neck lowered and you heard a thud of a body fitting the floor behind you.

Neil lowered his gun.

You stared at each other for what seemed like forever.

“Nice shot,” you said, composing yourself first.

He gave you a weak smile, and just as he opened his mouth to say something, your comms filled with a familiar voice.

“We’ve missed all the fun, eh?”

------

Neither of you said anything on the way back to the HQ, not counting the short answers to the questions asked by Ives, but even he gave up after a while seeing you weren’t in the mood for talking.

You got your duffel bag out of the trunk and looked around. Neil was standing at the bottom of the stairs leading to the building, talking on the phone. You walked up to him slowly, waiting for him to finish the conversation.

“Do they need us to get in to file a report?”

“No, I convinced TP to give us the rest of the day off,” he said, hiding the phone in the pocket of his jacket. “We can do that first thing tomorrow, I’m just gonna drop the equipment now.”

“Great, thanks.”

You couldn’t wait to get back to your apartment. You tossed the bag on your arm and smiled at the thought of a long hot shower and crashing in your own bed.

There was just one thing you needed to do first.

Neil took a step towards the building and without thinking too much about it, you reached out for his hand.

“Neil…?”

He stopped and turned around, puzzled. His eyes dropped to your joined hands and slowly moved up to your face.

You gave him a nervous smile.

“Thank you.”

His features softened and he squeezed your hand gently.

“Don’t mention it.”

And then he smirked.

...of course.

“Guess that makes us even.”

(next chapter->)

#neil tenet x reader #neil tenet #neil tenet fanfiction #tenet #robert pattinson #tenet fanfiction #the protagonist tenet #ives tenet #wheeler tenet #neil tenet imagine #neil x reader #smoke & mirrors #tags hate me

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ikkaku-of-heart · 4 years ago

Text

Her Brother's Blood is on His Hands

(Originally written for @heart-pirates-week for Ikkaku’s day with the prompt “Family” but ended up being delayed until now. Inspired by discussions with @shambledsurgeon and @medicus-mortem)

Ikkaku awoke slowly, the persistent beeping of a heart monitor resembling that of a particularly slow but annoying alarm clock. She tried to sit up but a sharp pain in her side dissuaded her, so she was forced to remain on her back, looking around at the sterile walls of the infirmary. She was hooked up to an IV, there were several machines monitoring her vitals, and she could feel the pressure of tightly-wound bandages around her torso and arms.

“Welcome back to the land of the living,” Law said from the chair at her bedside, putting down the medical book he’d been reading. The circles under his eyes appeared darker than usual, but his grin was comforting and sure. “I was beginning to wonder if we’d have to resort to drastic measures to wake Sleeping Beauty.”

“Law?” she asked weakly, grimacing at how hoarse she sounded due to the dryness of her throat. “The fuck happened?”

“Gonna have to be more specific,” he stated as he carefully helped prop her up enough that she could safely drink some water. “Do you mean how did you end up here? Maybe the extent of your wounds? Or how about what, exactly, I did to the fucker who hurt you?”

Her eyes widened as she recalled what had happened. She’d been taking a walk with Jean Bart, venting about how much she hated that they were now government dogs because Law’d insisted on handing the Navy one hundred hearts. They’d run into a squad of Marines. Her brother’s squad, to be exact. Ushi had decided it was pointless trying to climb the Navy ranks the normal way, and thus had come up with the idea of sucking up to the Celestial Dragons. And what better way to do so than to return to Saint Rosward his wayward slave?

Heart clenching at the thought of her shipmate being handed back over to those bastards, she asked, “Is Jean—”

“He’s fine. Discharged yesterday,” Law promised, nodding towards the empty bed on the other side of the room. He picked up a chart, studying it as he continued, “Needed a lot of stitches for the lacerations across his back and arms, but nothing life-threatening.”

“Good,” she sighed in relief. He hadn’t been killed or taken. Jean Bart would continue to live as a free man for a while longer. He deserved that much.

“Was quite the sight, seeing him charging towards the ship, covered in blood, carrying you like a baby while you bled out from a stab wound,” he commented, voice even, though there was an unmistakable tightness in his jaw. “I’m just glad he managed to tell me who’d done this to you two before he passed out.”

White teeth sank into her bottom lip, guilt pulsing through her. That’s right. It hadn’t exactly been a victory. They’d managed to take down most of the Marines, but Ushi had managed to get behind her, and then there’d been excruciating pain as he’d driven a knife deep into her side…

“I’m sorry, Captain,” she whispered, black curls hiding her face as she hung her head in shame.

“The hell are you apologizing for?” he asked, gold eyes flicking up from the clipboard and narrowing in displeasure.

She wrung her hands, anxious and guilty. “Jean Bart got hurt because of my family baggage.”

“He got hurt because of an opportunistic asshole who decided that Jean being under the protection of a shichibukai didn’t matter,” he snapped. Pausing, he took a deep breath to compose himself. “The fact that said asshole came out of the same uterus as you is irrelevant.”

“We both know that’s not true,” she countered, refusing to look at him. “He targeted the Hearts because of me. He always has. And he wouldn’t have been able to go after Jean Bart if I’d let you kill him years ago. Or killed him myself. You deserve a subordinate with the stones to kill her own brother.”

Internally, she berated herself for that last part. None of this would be a problem if she’d just toughened up and put an end to that bastard. Why did she always seem to stop herself? Morality? Because she knew how heartbroken her parents would be? Because even years later, she was still scared of her childhood boogeyman?

Her thoughts were disturbed by the clipboard lightly smacking her on the head in reproach. It didn’t hurt, but Ikkaku rubbed her head anyway, frowning up at her captain. “You trying to knock me unconscious again?”

“If that’s what it takes to get you to stop talking bullshit,” he retorted. He glared at her for a moment before letting out a sigh, a tattooed hand falling heavily on her shoulder. “Ikkaku,” Law stated, tone brokering no argument, “what I deserve is a subordinate with the stones to stand up to a power-hungry bastard looking to sell her nakama to a bunch of delusional inbred freaks, which that’s exactly what I’ve got. And what you deserve is to not get stabbed in the spleen by your own blood.”

Well. It was hard to argue that logic. “I guess. But next time—”

“There won’t be a next time.”

“You don’t know that.”

The hand on her shoulder fell away to flip through the pages of her chart. “Ikkaku, you nearly bled out before you even got to the sub. You’re lucky Shachi and Penguin share your blood type and were basically tripping over themselves to donate. I had to replace your spleen and left kidney, and if that knife had gone in at a slightly different angle, he could have punctured your stomach or lung. In other words, this bastard nearly cost me my engineer. You’ve known me for goin’ on five years now; do you really think that once you were stable I just sat around twiddling my thumbs while I waited for you to wake up?”

Dark eyes widened in realization. “Did you kill him?”

“Would you be mad if I said I had?”

No. Not at him at least, but she still felt like she’d let him down by not being able to do it herself. “He shouldn’t have been your problem to solve.”

“You’re right. He shouldn’t have been a problem,” he replied harshly. Before Ikkaku could internally berate herself further, though, Law ran a hand through his hair in frustration, and there was a spark of guilt in his eyes. “No Marine should have even touched you guys. That’s supposed to be one of the fucking perks of being a shichibukai. I told you when I took this damn title that you be safe and look how that turned out.”

Yes, that had been a major argument between them, hadn’t it? For Ikkaku, not wanting to be affiliated with the World Government hadn’t just been a matter of pride or general hatred for the bastards who ran the world – she’d been afraid. Terrified that her brother would be waiting for her around every corner. That he’d find a way to get her alone, to finish the job he’d started when she was seven, to finally get her out of his hair. Law had promised she’d be safe, that he wouldn’t let him so much as breath near her. Eventually, she’d come to believe him, but things hadn’t gone to plan.

“You can’t blame yourself for Ushi not following the rules, Law,” she insisted. Yeah, she could have berated him for not listening to her, but in reality, Law’s logic had been sound; Ushi shouldn’t have dared to try anything. Ikkaku didn’t just have the Hearts protecting her anymore – the Navy itself had become another obstacle in his way. She should have been safe.

However, even she hadn’t fully considered why Ushi would go this far, but in hindsight, it made sense. Last she’d checked, he hadn’t been promoted in a while. Hadn’t advanced as quickly as he wanted or earned any accolades for heroism like everyone back home had been expecting. He was a commodore still – not even a rear-admiral, and his name didn’t strike fear into the hearts of pirates like Smoker’s did.

Because he’d been put on a pedestal, her brother had always gotten away with everything, which had only enforced his cruel and abusive nature. The whole island had believed that he’d become a famous Marine and boost their reputation, which was why they’d been willing to overlook the bruises that littered his sister’s arms, or the fact that she’d gone missing for three days while under his care.

If he’d come home a failure, everyone would have to finally admit he was nothing but a twisted, cruel bully. And instead of accepting the blame for enabling, they’d likely make him answer for his crimes.

But more than that, he’d be forced to accept that he was never that special to begin with, and she knew a man as arrogant as him wouldn’t be able to bear that.

Shaking her head, she almost felt pity for him. “Ushi was desperate, and desperate men are unpredictable as fuck. You couldn’t have known he’d be crazy enough to try to suck up to the Celestial Dragons.”

“Neither of us could have known, but I still could have protected you better,” Law retorted, crossing his arms. He still didn’t look fully convinced of his own absolution, but he declared quite plainly, “The fact is, brothers shouldn’t murder their younger siblings, or even try to.”

Well, not even Ikkaku could argue that.

But actions had consequences, and there was still a strong chance Law’s retaliation, justified or not, would bite him in the ass.

“Ushi might have been no one special, but the Navy’s not going to be happy about you killing one of their own,” she said, genuinely worried. Even if Ushi had been going against orders, shichibukai weren’t supposed to attack their Marine allies. What if they decided to strip Law of his new title? Sure, she hated that he was a government dog, but it was a vital part of his plan to take down Joker, and if that had been stripped away because he’d recklessly pursued revenge on her behalf…

The way he smirked at her belied that he didn’t share even a fraction of her concern. “The Navy’ll have a hell of a time pinning a murder on me when there’s no evidence. It’s unlikely he was ordered to attack you and Jean Bart, so there’s no paper trail. The man was obsessed with advancing up the ladder, so likely only a select few are even aware you’re related, thus no one knows of his unfortunate connection to the Heart Pirates. And unless they plan on gutting a bunch of Sea Kings and piecing together chunks of half-digested flesh, I doubt they’ll find enough of his body to even determine his cause of death.”

“You fed him to Sea Kings?”

“His remains, at least. As for how I killed him…well, I won’t bore you with the details.”

It was highly doubtful what he’d done could be described as boring, but Ikkaku decided not to press him. Knowing Law, it had been slow, painful, and had probably involved dissection. “You didn’t have to do all that for me, Captain.”

He dismissed her concerns with a casual wave of his hand. “Of course I did. You’re family. Besides, if I hadn’t, the rest of the crew would have gone after him themselves, and they wouldn’t have done as good a job covering their tracks. Or made him scream quite as loud. No offense to them, but conventional torture methods just can’t match the agony of having your heart slowly crushed to a pulp.”

Was she a bad person for not feeling sick at the thought of her oldest brother—her own blood—being subjected to the Surgeon of Death’s sadism? That instead of anger or disgust, she felt relieved? Sure, he was a massive piece of shit who deserved to die for everything he’d done to her, her other brothers, and who knows what else, but he was still family, wasn’t he?

No. The Hearts were family. Law was family. He was right – Ushi was blood, but he wasn’t her brother.

Law’s brow furrowed with concern and he reached forward, cupping her cheeks and wiping tears away with his thumbs. Ikkaku hadn’t even realized she was crying.

“Shit, I’m sorry,” he said, looking genuinely guilty. “I shouldn’t have overstepped like that. I should have at least waited until you were awake and asked—”

Though she was tired and weak and it took far more effort than she’d like, Ikkaku lifted her arm and flicked Law squarely in the forehead. He didn’t quite flinch back, but he did give her an annoyed grunt, but his brow did smooth out when he saw her bright smile.

“Thank you,” she said, cheeks streaked with tears but voice warm with love and affection and gratitude. It might take a while for her to fully accept that Ushi was no longer laying in wait at every Marine base, but for now, she could breath a little easier. The monster from her childhood had finally been vanquished.

Trafalgar Law might not have been a knight in shining armor, but he was something better. He was the big brother she’d always wished for.

Relieved that she wasn’t angry, Law gave her a tiny but sincere grin back. His engineer was alive, safe, and giving him that sunny smile that could light up a room. Well worth the blood on his hands, and quietly, he vowed to keep her, and the rest of his Hearts, safe from whatever hell might come their way.

They were a loyal bunch of fools, but they were his family. He’d set the world on fire before allowing anything to happen to them.

A hand adorned with the word DEATH retreated from Ikkaku’s cheek to ruffle her hair. “Don’t mention it.”

#The Engine is the Heart of the Ship (canon)#Join the Hearts: We Have Uniforms #Heart Siblings #Drabble #(been wanting to go into what happens to Ushi during the timeskip)#(and how it would definitely be Law that kills him instead of Ikkaku)#(hope people like this!)#(not sure about the title but it's the best I could think of without being cheesy or cliche)

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page-doctor-bekker · 3 years ago

Text

Casa de las Flores (transfemme!sarah)

(A/N) so... there is no nsfw in here. nothing that wouldn't be allowed in a pg-13 film, which is typically my policy: if i can see it in a pg-13 film, i can write it and put it on my tumblr :) anyways, enjoy. this takes place right after this.

Casa de las Flores looked small on the outside, a cute storefront with a few burnt out letters and a neon “OPEN” sign on the door, but the quaint look was merely a facade. On the inside, the dining room was large and lively, with a full-service bar and bright decorations. They were seated almost right away, sandwiched between an elderly couple and a family with a toddler and a baby.

“I’m Rosie, I’m going to be taking care of you two today,” The woman smiled, and set the menus down, “Can I get you started with some drinks?”

Ava glanced over the drink menu, skipping right down to the margaritas section.

“Yeah, can I get a strawberry margarita, frozen?” Ava requested, and Rosie nodded, scribbling down on her pad.

“And for you?”

“Uh…”

Crap, is she paying? Or am I? I should get something cheap, just play it safe… Wait, she said she was going to buy me dinner. She’s definitely paying. God, I don’t want to cost her too much…

“A uh… Err… Sparkling watermelon margarita on the rocks, hold the salt,” She blurted out, and Ava smiled at her, which was totally not helping the nerves.

“I’ll get those right out,” Rosie flipped her pad closed, and left the table.

“Really? No salt?” Ava queried, giving a slight chuckle.

“I always wipe it off when I get the salt,” Sarah admitted, “It just… I don’t know. It’s supposed to enhance the lime or something, but I’m just not into it. The bitterness just ruins the drink for me.”

“Huh,” Ava flipped the page on the menu, “I never knew that about you.”

“I mean, it’s not like I advertise my margarita preferences everywhere I go.”

Ava laughed, “Really? That’s my favorite activity!” She taunted, looking up at the other woman.

“Maybe I should give it a try,” Sarah remarked.

“What are you going to get?” Ava suddenly changed the subject, still flipping through the pages of the laminated menu, “I was looking at that baja grilled fish tacos but…” She winked, “I’m not sure if fish is the right choice on a first date.”

What the fuck. WHAT the fuck. What the FUCK.

Sarah laughed, although the comment took her off guard, “I was thinking of the enchiladas de espinaca, but I haven’t entirely ruled out the al pastor either.”

“Spinach? You’re bolder than I am,” Ava chuckled.

“I’ll only get it if you promise to let me know if I have some on my teeth.”

“Deal.”

A few quiet minutes later, Rosie was back, “How are we doing, ladies? Need another minute?” She asked, as she set the drinks down, “Frozen strawberry margarita, Watermelon margarita on the rocks, no salt.”

“I think we’re all set,” Ava raised an eyebrow at Sarah, who nodded.

Enchiladas de espinaca is cheaper.

“Whenever you’re ready.”

“Ladies first,” Ava winked.

“Uh…” Sarah gave a nervous laugh, “I will get the enchiladas de espinaca.”

“Great choice,” Rosie scribbled her order down, “And for you?”

“I will get the steak fajitas with flour tortillas, please,” She closed her menu, “Oh, and can we get a round of Mexican candy shots and a round of tequila shots?”

“Of course, I’ll have that right out.”

“Shots?” Sarah inquired.

“Shots.”

Is she trying to get me drunk? Ava did call an uber to get here, maybe she just wanted a drinking friend…

At the table next to them, the baby started crying. Sarah watched as the mother cooed and shushed, and eventually apologized to her party and left the restaurant with the baby. Ava sipped her drink, before speaking.

“Would you ever have kids?”

Sarah’s heart just about stopped.

She stammered, “I- uh… I don’t know, maybe. I always wanted to be a mom when I was younger,” She smiled, “I even tried to breastfeed my babydolls.”

Ava gave a hearty laugh, the kind of laugh that makes you feel like the lights have just been turned on, and you could finally see in a dark room.

“Didn’t every little girl?” She laughed some more, and Sarah joined in.

Yeah, but little boys didn’t.

“I don’t know,” Ava continued, “Giving birth sounds so painful,” She mused, “I had a pregnancy scare in high school, a false positive from a cheap piece of shit test, and all I could think about was how much it was going to hurt.”

“Oh my God,” Sarah chuckled, “Not even about what you were going to do, how your parents would react?”

“Not even a little bit.”

It was Sarah’s turn to let out a big laugh, imagining the strong, confident surgeon stress over pain, rather than the practical side of a teenage pregnancy.

“How DID your parents find out?”

She snorted, “They didn’t!”

Sarah laughed even harder, and a couple near them turned their heads to stare.

Rosie brought both rounds of shots; The tequila, and whatever a Mexican candy shot was. The tequila shot was a yellow-y caramel color, with salt and a lime on the rim. The Mexican candy shot was a pinkish red shot with what seemed to be Tajin salt around the rim, and a lime as well.

Ava nodded at the shots, “Which first?”

“The pink one,” Sarah reached for it, “What’s in it?” She gave it a sniff.

“It’s watermelon-y,” Ava grinned, “Bottoms up?”

Sarah clinked her shot against Ava’s, and threw it back. The Tajin shocked her taste buds, and the first taste of the actual shot was sweet, like biting into a cool, crisp watermelon on a warm summer day. Almost as soon as she tasted the watermelon, she tasted what seemed like hot sauce, and tart lime juice.

“Ugh, I love those,” Ava dramatically rolled her eyes back, before grinning at Sarah, who gave a smile in return.

“I’m a little scared of the tequila,” Sarah admitted.

“What? Bad night in college?” Ava teased, and Sarah blushed with embarrassment.

“I’ve… Actually never had tequila.”

“So why are you scared? You can wipe the salt off, you know.”

The tequila shot didn’t necessarily disgust her, but she didn’t enjoy it. The salt made her stick her tongue out in disgust, and the alcohol burned on her tongue. She looked up at Ava through watery eyes, and Ava was looking at her with an expression that Sarah couldn’t quite understand.

Ava clapped, and Sarah coughed, and their food arrived. Sarah went tunnel-vision on her food, and Ava’s laughter through their conversations was almost more intoxicating than the alcohol. By the time they finished dinner, Sarah was on her third, maybe fourth margarita. Ava coerced her into another tequila shot, and they shared a plate of churros. Sarah had even tried Ava’s, wiping off the salt from her rim.

The bill was well over a hundred dollars, most of it being alcohol, and Ava paid it with eight twenty-dollar bills without a second thought, and dragged Sarah out by the elbow.

“Y’know,” Sarah slurred, “I thought you hated me.”

Ava’s face fell, “I know.”

“I thau’ you’d neva’ talk t’ me again,” She mumbled, leaning into Ava.

“I know.”

“I was so so sad.”

“I know.”

They were quiet. The only sounds were the Chicago streets. The sounds melted together in Sarah’s head, and she felt miles taller than she was, and miles shorter at the same time. She felt like she might float away, like Ava’s arm was the only thing keeping her on Earth. Sarah was a balloon, but Ava was the string.

“Wanna go back to my place?” Ava whispered, seeming stone cold sober even though they had had the same amount to drink. Sarah was infatuated with her - Everything she did seemed to make her more and more attractive.

Sarah had half a mind to say no, but nodded eagerly.

“You bought me dinner,” Sarah sighed happily, “You’re so nice to me.”

“It was my pleasure.”

“Mmhmm…” Sarah agreed, “Because surgeons make more than psychiatrists.”

Ava laughed loudly, stumbling a bit herself, “How are you going to pay off all your debt if you buy dinner, miss fresh-out-of-medical-school?”

“Maybe I don’t hate the salt,” Sarah blurted out, ignoring Ava’s joke.

The two walked arm in arm, each of them letting out a giggle every few steps. Ava’s sober front slowly fell, leaving her just as messy as Sarah. They each did their fair share of holding each other up, until the doorsteps of the apartment building Ava lived in.

They stopped.

Ava stared into Sarah’s eyes, as if trying to puncture her soul with an IV needle. Ava had brown eyes - The kind that filled your heart with warmth like you’d just downed a hot cup of coffee between patients - And Sarah knew she had noticed it before, but she couldn’t remember when she realized how beautiful they were.

Ava’s breath, that once smelled like her chapstick and chewing gum, now smelled of strawberry margaritas, tequila shots, and salsa. Her mascara was mildly smeared, not from crying, but from God knows what antics the two had gotten up to. Her teeth were starkly white when she smiled, and made Sarah wonder if they were naturally that white, or if she had treated them to get there.

Ava’s lips made contact with Sarah’s before Sarah even knew they were heading that direction, and she simultaneously tensed her whole body and felt like she was melting to the floor.

Someone’s going to see, someone’s going to see us and hurt me, someone’s going to know-

Ava pulled off with a smack, and smiled coyly, “Wanna head upstairs?”

Sarah nodded, eyes wide. She felt short of breath, and anxiety bubbled in her stomach. Does she mean what I think she means?

She tripped twice heading up the stairs - The elevator was out of order. Ava held on to her, drunk but still more coordinated than Sarah could ever hope to be. Sarah saw stars, and a halo around Ava’s head, convincing her drunk mind that the blonde woman beside her was truly an angel.

When they got to Ava’s apartment, they were kissing before they even closed the door. Ava pushed Sarah against the wall, tearing her jacket off first and then Sarah’s. Somehow, with her eyes closed, she still managed to hang them up on the coat hooks beside their heads.

Ava pulled Sarah’s hair tie out, and tangled her hands in the woman’s curly locks. She needed her lips like she needed oxygen to breathe, and neither of them wanted to let go. Sarah felt things shift between her legs, making her attraction to Ava apparent to her, but even in her intoxicated state she still managed to feel the pang of dysphoria, which made her nauseous. Regardless, she didn’t falter, no matter the discomfort deep in the pit of her stomach.

“I’ve never kissed a girl before,” Sarah breathed out between kisses.

Oh God.

“Honored to be your first,” Ava responded, equally as preoccupied.

Ava rested her hands on Sarah’s waist, hiking her shirt up slightly in the process. She shivered as Ava’s cold hands made contact with her skin, and her southern equipment stirred, making her dysphoric yet again and only contributing to the nausea. At this point, she couldn’t tell if she was truly nauseous from the alcohol, or just so dysphoric and anxious that her stomach couldn’t tell the difference. She powered through, distracting herself in the warmth of Ava’s mouth and the light touch from her fingertips.

Ava creeped up Sarah’s ribcage until she could feel the underwire of her bra, and then slipped her hands under. Sarah was suddenly very aware of her lower regions, her gaff, and how thin her scrubs were. She would be screwed if something slipped out.

Note to self:

Ava kissed down her neck.

Write a good review for this gaff later.

Ava started unbuttoning her shirt, kissing the newly bare areas as she went. Once she reached the bottom, her lips darted back up to her collarbone, sucking a hickey into the sensitive area.

Sarah’s job was to keep breathing, and not let the panic get the better of her.

This is fine. Adults do this. I’m an adult. She doesn’t know, and she wont find out because I won’t let this go that far.

Ava’s lips captured Sarah’s again.

I won’t let this go far enough to be a problem.

Ava’s hands trickled down to the button on her pants, and Sarah took in a sharp breath.

Ava looked up quizzically, “Do you want this?”

Yes, but I can’t.

Sarah didn’t respond, hoping her fear was not evident in her eyes.

The surgeon put one hand on Sarah’s cheek, and relaxed her other hand from her waistband, “You don’t have to. I won’t be mad.”

Sarah nodded, then shook her head, “I- uh, I don’t want to.”

The anxiety in her chest fizzled out as Ava stepped away, and as much as she craved intimacy, Sarah knew this was better. Ava gave her a warm smile, and held out her hand.

Sarah took it, receiving a squeeze from her, “I can get an Uber or a Lyft…”

Ava looked taken aback, “Why? You can stay, you know. You think I’m going to kick a drunk girl out at,” She glanced at her phone, “Eleven o’ clock at night?”

Sarah smiled sheepishly, and stood awkwardly for a second, “Uh… Where’s your bathroom?”

“Oh! That door right there,” She pointed to a modern white door, with silver fixtures. Sarah stumbled towards the bathroom, and practically fell into the room.

She closed the door behind her, and leaned against it. She slumped down, pulled her knees to her chest and rested her forehead against them.

After a few minutes of deep breathing exercises, she opened the door and hollered, “Ava?!”

“Yes?” The aforementioned woman looked up from the couch, where she was sipping a glass of water and playing a game on her phone.

“Is it okay if I shower?”

“Yeah! Let me get you something to sleep in, I think we’re similar in size.”

Sarah closed the door as Ava got up, and a few minutes later, there was a knock at the door. Sarah opened it, and Ava handed her a stack of folded clothes, with two towels on the bottom, “I didn’t know if there were any towels in there, so if there are, just leave any extras under the sink.”

Sarah nodded, and Ava gave her a tight-lipped smile, and left.

Sarah closed the door.

It seemed that Sarah was given a bright pink muscle tee, with the words “Cardiac care is a work of heart” in all caps, with an anatomical heart image, and a pair of loose black sweatpants. She rolled her eyes at the shirt, surprised that Ava would own it. It seemed silly.

Sarah stripped, turned the water on as cold as it could go, and jumped in.

(A/N) thx for reading ! lmk what you thought <3

#chicago med #sarah reese #ava bekker #reesker #transfemme!sarah #enjoy!#tbh i went through a lot of questioning as to whether i should post this #but i love it too much not to

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quillandink333 · 4 years ago

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Scarlet Carnations ~ Part V

BotW Link X Zelda ~ Detective AU

Rating: T

Word Count: 1.9k

WARNINGS: death, murder, loss, trauma, blood and gore, terrorism, organized crime, self-harm

Summary: Inspector Zelda Hyrule, assisted by the faithful Constable Link Fyori, is infamous for cracking the most confounding of cases in a town dominated by crime. Her latest assignment is to solve the murder of her own godmother, Impa Sheikah, the late CEO of Sheikah Tech. Incorporated, while staying under the radar of the dreaded Yiga organization.

Part I • Part II • Part III • Part IV • Part V • Part VI • Part VII • Epilogue • Masterlist

“‘Justice is Dead’: Inspector Hyrule Loses her Badge for Lying in Sheikah Murder Trial”

This headline, alongside a photograph capturing the catastrophe that had been Link’s trial, was what had made the front page of the Times not long after it had all transpired. And it wasn’t the only one of its kind. Far from it. It seemed every publishing firm in town had released an article covering my epic blunder in court.

My name wasn’t unfamiliar to the masses either. As the daughter of the last pre-Yiga mayor to stand in office, anyone who read the paper regularly knew who I was. Until now, I’d been known all across town as the prodigy detective dedicated to keeping the streets free of crime, but now, all those people would look upon my face and see nothing but a filthy, lowlife perjurer.

I could live with my name being ground into the dirt by the media. What made me truly bitter beyond words was that the few individuals whom I’d once trusted and looked up to would now think the same of me.

I’d tried reaching out to Prosecutor Sigatur countless times in the hopes that she could in some way continue the investigation in my stead, but every time I called, she would never pick up. She probably saw this case as closed now anyway. I had managed to get a hold of Auntie Purah, but all she’d been willing to say to me was that she needed time to think before hanging up. As for Paya, I couldn’t even bring myself to try to contact her.

It wasn’t something I took pride in. Clearly the best thing for me to do would be to apologize to them all for my actions, most of all to Paya after all the needless grief I’d caused her. But I simply couldn’t do it. Just the idea of it felt wrong. No words that I could possibly say to them would be of any use in bettering the circumstances. I couldn’t bring Auntie Impa back. I couldn’t undo what I’d done. I couldn’t do anything. There wasn’t a single thing I was good for other than making a mockery of myself and disappointing those who’d once dared to put their faith in me. Nothing at all.

And now, to put a cherry atop the sundae of darkness and misery that my life had come to, the one person who mattered most to me, the one I’d dedicated myself to protecting, was gone, forever. Just when we’d finally found each other again. There was still so much I’d wanted to ask him, and even more that I’d wanted to say, but...

What I wouldn’t have given just to be by his side at that moment. What we did didn’t matter. Even if he and I were simply in the same room together, I’d feel more at ease. But who was I to wish for such things? I was the one who had failed him. I should’ve just testified that I’d been the one behind everything. I should’ve been the one on death row right then. Not him.

I thought recalling a happier time would perhaps help to restore me to my rational self, before it was too late, but in the end, it only proved to pour more salt in the wound.

“Alright, I’ll see you around.” Both Paya’s and my own ears perked up at the familiar, jovial voice down the hallway. “Great time catching up with you!” No sooner than we’d heard those words did Link come striding out of one of the classrooms on the left.

“Uhh...!” I turned toward Paya, who was suddenly as red as a raspberry. “I j-just remembered I had something to ask one of my teachers about!”

Just then, Link’s eyes landed on the two of us. Paya gave him a wave and a sheepish smile, both worth no more than half a second.

“You two have fun!”

Then she started to turn on her heel.

My outstretched arm just barely missed the strap of her school bag. “No, wait!”

“Bye!”

I gave a disgruntled snarl as she made her hasty retreat. She was far enough now that if I tried calling out to her, I’d only be drawing attention to myself.

“Everything alright, Zelda?”

“Link!” The boy in question was right there, just a foot’s distance or so behind me. “Oh, yes. Quite. Paya’s just...”

“She seemed busy.”

“Yes, yes,” I grumbled. Busy putting me on the spot, more like. As always. “Who was that you were talking to just now?”

“Oh, you must mean Sidon!” he exclaimed. “He and I knew each other in elementary school. He just transferred here last week, or so I’m told. What a small world we live in!”

He spoke animatedly, gesturing with his whole body as he told me tales of the mischief he and his childhood friends used to get up to. Though he himself had only been enrolled here since the start of that year, it seemed he already knew everyone on campus. Even the members of faculty were fond of him.

“So I heard you got in touch with my father again the other day,” he said as we rounded the corner of the building’s exterior on the way to our usual lunch spot.

“Oh, yes, I did!” He took a seat next to me on the concrete bench in front of the greenhouse.

“How’d that go?” he asked, then tore a massive bite out of his sandwich.

I winced in a mixture of worry and amazement. “Well, he didn’t really have much to contribute to my case, but I appreciate his hearing me out all the same.”

“Ah’m thure you ‘o.” He swallowed his mouthful of food before continuing, to my relief. “But he doesn’t take time out of his busy schedule to talk to just anyone, you know.”

“Oh, certainly. If it weren’t for Urbosa, I’m sure he wouldn’t even give me the time of day.”

Then a teasing grin lit up his face. “Aren’t you forgetting about someone?”

“Oh! Of course. My apologies,” I bowed, swivelling in his direction. “You’ve been a great help as well, Link. Thank you.”

A faint crease formed between his brows. “Come on now, I was only joking.” He gave my shoulder a light shove, nearly making me drop my lunch tray. “You should try being less prim and proper all the time. No one’s counting on you for anything, are they?”

“No, I suppose not.” No one amongst the living, anyway. Besides, he already had me eating lunch outside the cafeteria. How much more improper did he expect me to be? “I think it’s just the way I’ve been brought up.”

He gave a slow nod. “That’s understandable.” No doubt he could imagine how strict the CEO of Sheikah Tech. could be with her daughters sometimes. “Still, if you want my advice, try lightening up now and then. Trust me, you’ll be loads happier that way.”

My heart swelled at his kind words. If it were anyone else, I probably would have dismissed them as just another naïve optimist. “You think so?”

He shook his head, correcting me with, “I know so.”

I’d bumped his knee with my own when I’d turned to face him a short while earlier. It was then that I finally took notice of our sustained bodily contact, which in turn made me notice how little distance there really was between where he and I were now sitting.

He must’ve realized this as well. While I was still in a flustered rut about what to do, he caught me off guard and scooted even closer, until our thighs were just a hair’s breadth away from touching. I, of course, was a gawking, red-faced mess at this point, but he didn’t seem to mind. He simply kept looking at me with that disarmingly sweet smile of his.

Never in my life had I met someone more determined to keep smiling in spite of all the world’s cruelties than he was. It wasn’t ignorance; his father was none other than the district’s chief detective. He was simply, genuinely, fearless.

“Hey, so...” His mannerism had shifted out of nowhere from confident to slightly less confident. “Will you be coming back here for the horticulture club meet this afternoon? I just remembered you mentioning that the other day, and if you are going, it’d give me a reason to go.”

A rush of giddiness took hold of me, causing my heart to thrum wildly within my ribcage. “Really?”

“Oh, wait. Did I just—” He laughed into his palm, then groaned. “Did I say, ‘a reason,’ just now?” I nodded, perplexed. “I meant, ‘more reason.’ That’s what I meant to say, obviously, because I was already thinking about going before you mentioned it.”

He seemed to be telling that more to himself than to me. I did my best to reciprocate his forced chuckle. “Alright.”

“Yep...”

The bell rang in the distance, signalling five minutes until the start of class.

“Oh, dear. I’d better be off.” In a rush, I stood up and gathered my things. “My next class is on the other side of campus. Bye for now, Link!”

“Wait, Zelda!” I halted. “So...are you going?”

I couldn’t help the smile that spread across my lips. “That’s what I had planned for today, yes.”

“Oh, spiffing!” His crow’s feet appeared adorably at the corners of his eyes, making my own smile grow. “I’ll see you then!”

By the time the memory had reached the end of its reel, there was a knife situated in the trembling grasp of my hand. Though the cuts were already a great deal in number, I’d barely even felt them until now. Now they stung like venom. In truth, it was most likely a result of the tears that had begun to fall upon the marred surface of my inner forearm. With this realization, my silent tears were only magnified into sobs of insurmountable extremity. The blade in my grip clattered mercilessly onto the desk. I was never going to see him again, was I?

As the salt of my tears mixed together with the little puddles of red that had formed, I caught myself staring blankly at the ball key sitting on the far end of my desk: the one Link had found at the scene of my godmother’s killing and had kept secret until the day before his conviction, when he’d entrusted it to me. Its dim, tangerine glow was just another painful reminder of how hopeless this situation really was.

Of course, being the spectacular mess of a person that I had become, I’d made the oh-so-wise decision to cut myself at the place where I carried out my chemistry experiments. With grandiosity, I oafishly spilled an entire beaker’s worth of fluid just as I’d finished wiping away the blood.

But just as I was about to go and fetch the mop, something happened that I never could’ve expected.

In the darkness of my apartment, the area on my desk where there had once been blood was glowing a strikingly brilliant blue.

I picked up the beaker that I’d knocked over. It bore the handwritten label, “5-Amino-2,3-dihydrophthalazine-1,4-dione.” Scanning the desk’s surface, something else caught my eye—something that could potentially be the “key” that I’d been searching for since the moment I’d discovered my dear godmother’s dead body.

The orange glow of the ball key, which had just so happened to find itself square in the middle of the splash zone, was being obscured by spots of blue light.

#my writing #fanfic #botw #zelink #botw zelink #zelink botw #link x zelda #zelda x link #botw link x zelda #botw zelda x link #zelink fanfic #zelink fic #zelink ff #zelda pov #detective au

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postbreakup · 3 years ago

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Journalling my healing process

So, this is more for myself. I got dumped after 6 years cause his parents told him to cut it off, we were thinking of getting engaged. It’s been a week of no-contact and a lot of highs and lows mostly lows. Yesterday night I was battling extreme suicidal thoughts that had been bottling up. Ive decided I’m going to keep an online journal of my healing process as it will give me some purpose to life (knowing that i have to update this journal for y’all :)).

Self note*: I will get through this.

Day 1: I managed to make it through the day. In the morning I was balling in tears and didnt get out of bed until 12. I realised I had to get some of my uni reading done and looked at my reading list. I had to read a 60 page article and write notes on it. I managed to do it. It helped me keep my mind of stuff. I tried to make some food but honestly I didn’t have the emotional strength. I decided to order food instead. I got some pasta and fries (decided to indulge in comfort food). Finished the pasta not the fries tho. I’m still online stalking his online activity- its a bad habit. I still have hope but that hope is slowly dying away and that makes me sad. I want him to be happy- even tho he broke me he was there for me at one point. These feelings I can’t explain. He stood by me on one hand and he broke 100 promises on the other- it makes you question the depth of his feelings. Was there once feelings but it faded which gave him the capability to hurt me so bad? God knows. I have no closure at all. When he left he told me ‘i love u’ and i said i hated him back…part of me wonders if I should have said that :(. I wish he had the stance to breakup in person rather than text i think thats what made me the angriest. I’m still so hurt but i feel like I’m trying to convince myself I’m ok. I will get through this.

Day 2: It’s been 8 days since the breakup…wow. The wounds still feel fresh. On a positive light at least I’m not screaming into my pillow every night and shouting at god why he never answered any of my prayers. I woke up in the morning feeling meh. You know that feeling when you managed to sleep and you wake up and you suddenly remember all the sadness in your life that you’ll have to endure and internalise throughout the day until you can go to sleep. Yup I’m getting a daily dose of that every morning. I managed to wake up at 8:30 instead of 12 (mainly because i was so behind in my reading). Today I managed to read two articles and write notes on them and i was able to create a presentation for my law society workshop as well. It really hurt creating the presentation because my ex was supposed to come and see my first workshop event i hosted at uni. I keep looking at my phone waiting for a text…am i fooling myself? Will he ever text me. My brain is realising that he is not good for me…I can’t be with someone who has the potential to leave me when things get tough no matter how loyal and supportive I am. I’m still drowning in the love i still have for him. I think i will always love him, its always been like that when we were on a break I wasn’t able to give my full to other people because my heart belonged to him. I still can’t comprehend how he is able to make this decision to live in a world without me. Today I didnt eat so well. In fact whilst writing this I feel like absolute shit. Like where has my life come to? Writing a random journal nobody is gonna read anyways…almost like talking to myself…have i become crazy? But I will get through this.

Day 3- We had out final closure yesterday a lot of miscommunication was cleared but it makes me sadder than before. He let me know that he was cold on purpose in order to make me hate him so it would be easier to get over him. It was a very emotional conversation. He told me we could meet up for closure but i declined because the idea of seeing him hurts, and i didnt want to create anymore memories to drown myself in at night. He cared about me a lot and I understand he just wasn’t ready for marriage and the only reason he went with it was cause he loved me more than himself. His parents disowning him and kicking him out is another issue- its not that there was no love between us there was an intense love, perfect compatibility, we never fought and when we did we were able to resolve it peacefully and listen to each other. It was just external circumstances. Honestly, the bar is high for the next person, i never clicked so well with anyone else. He said we can wish each other happy birthday every year but i said i think seeing glimpses of each other twice a year is going to hurt us and he agreed. The breakup initially was very messy i was very upset but I didn’t want to leave it on a bad note we resolved and took back anything we said that was hurtful and made up. I think the fact we were able to have a civil discussion, express out feelings, accept and recognise why the other felt the way they did only shows how compatible we were and its just that life got in the way. He truly was ‘the one that got away’. I want nothing but happiness for him he’s been struggling with his depression for a while and i want him to get out of it. I want to get out of all my problems too. I’m really glad he has a support network, a therapist a psyiatrist. I need to work on forming my own support network too. I will get through this.

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anythingandeverything1d · 5 years ago

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Congratulations

“(y/n)” the nurse called out from the door. You stood up and walked over with an anxious smile. She handed you a clip board of medical information that you needed to update and then said she would grab you once it was completed and turned into the desk. You sat back down in the waiting room and flipped through the pages. Ugh I wish my mom was here...am I allergic to anything? I mean I don't think so but maybe Im just unaware of it..I don't remember having surgery-well my tonsils were removed but does that count? You were filling out the page to the best of your ability when your phone buzzed. You looked down and saw his name flash across the screen before immediately ignoring the call. You rushed to finish the paperwork and handed it in as the nurse came back. “Ready?” she asked.

“Yeah.” you followed her down the hall where she took your height and weight before escorting you into the room. You hopped onto the chair and anxiously tapped your foot as she checked your temperature, blood pressure, and oxygen levels. After finishing up she sat on the stool and smiled.

“So, what are we here for today?”

“Uh...” you looked at your feet and shifted in the chair. “I think I may be pregnant.”

She smiled and nodded, “when was your last period?”

“My period tends to be irregular but the last one I had recored was around two months ago.”

“Okay, were you on any kind of birth controls, or using any type of contraceptives?”

“I was on a birth control, am on a birth control but I missed a few days while I was on vacation which is when I believe this all happened.”

“Okay. Have you had any symptoms other than your missed period?”

“No, not really.”

“Okay. Have you taken any pregnancy tests at home?”

You nodded, your brain flashing back to that day.

*Tears were flooding down your cheeks as he grabbed his last hoodie from your closet. All you wanted was for life to stop. You wanted him to say its okay, to make a change in the relationship, to stay. You sat on the bed crying as he walked out the door for the last time, taking with him every once of happiness you had. You ran to the bathroom, physically sick from the situation. It wasnt until you were hunched over the toilet that you realized the box of tampons had gone unopened. Missing periods was normal for you, they had never been regular. There was a slight doubt in your mind though. You had never missed a period more than once, so the fact that you were going on two means something was wrong. You had been under a lot of stress though, the distance, the lying, the excuses, all of it. Wiping the snot running from your nose, you had gotten up, washed your face, and thrown on sweatpants and a sweatshirt. You had mustered the courage to drive all the way to the drug store, purchase three pregnancy tests, and drive home. You had gotten three, you wanted to be sure. You wanted to be positive before making any other decisions. You sat on the bathroom floor after peeing in a cup and dipped each end, turning them over so you couldn't see the lines. You set a timer on your phone and closed your eyes. The only thing that could've possibly made this situation better was having him here. Of course he was gone already but you could still dream right? When the alarm on your phone went off you anxiously flipped them all over. Picking the first up and squinting you saw the dreaded double lines. Picking the second one up: dreaded double lines. And the third: PREGNANT in bold. You dropped them all on the counter and threw your phone. Of course, of course this this happens. He leaves and I end up pregnant with his baby..just like the movies except he won't be coming back. The rest of the day had been a blur. You had kind of just ignored the fact that there were three positive pregnancy tests in the bathroom. When your friend Luke had come over, you had cried into his arms. Cried about him leaving, about the break up, and finally about being pregnant. “(y/n) if you have positive pregnancy tests you need to call him.”

“No. I can't do that. Im not doing that.”

“(y/n)...hes the father, he deserves to know.”

“I may not even be pregnant though..they come up wrong all the time.”

“Not this wrong though.. this seems pretty sure.”

“I mean I've been stressed lately maybe its just a hormone thing.”

“I think you should go to the doctor and check. And if you are then you need to ball up and tell him. Seriously he needs to know”

You had nodded and cried some more before Luke left. Then you had called your doctor and made an appointment.*

Now here you were answering questions about your sex life and body. The nurse handed you a cup and showed you where the bathroom was. She said the test would take only around ten minutes but that she would be coming back to the room to do a blood test as well. Great, what a fun day... You quickly peed in the cup, leaving it on the counter for the nurse and wandered back to the room you had been assigned. Your hands were sweating and you felt dizzy. Having your blood drawn was probably your least favorite thing. In fact, you fainted almost every time. You checked your phone and thought about texting him...instead you texted Luke and told him how terrible the doctor was and that you were going to die while having your blood drawn. His only response was “lol” and you rolled your eyes. Typical guy.. The nurse came back in with a smile and sat down. “Well it does look like you are in fact pregnant so congratulations! We want to do a pelvic exam and ultra sound today just to see where everything is at and then have you come back for a blood draw in the future.”

“Thanks.” you smiled and relief flooded your face. At least you didnt have to have your blood drawn today. On the other hand, you were pregnant, which was a whole other nightmare in its own. Not that you hadn't wanted and dreamed of having kids. You just thought it would be under different circumstances and that you would be married.

“Im going to leave this gown here if you just want to change real quick we can do an ultrasound and hopefully see where the little baby is at.” She left for a minute and you quickly changed, your warm body freezing against the chair. When she came back in, she had an ultrasound machine on wheels. She started with the pelvic exam, lightly pressing all around your pelvic region. Satisfied she got out a tube of gel. “This is going to be cold at first.” You had nodded and watched as the clear gel squirted out and the ultrasound machine rubbed against your skin. You watched the screen as she moved it around looking for the baby. After what felt like months, she found a small white dot looking blob and smiled. “There it is...looks like you are measuring around 2 months right now which makes sense to when you thought everything happened.” She looked at you and smiled. “I know it can be a lot to take in..I’m guessing this is your first?”

“Yeah...its just a lot I guess.”

“It is, but it gets easier. Want to hear the baby’s heartbeat?”

You smiled and nodded. She pressed a button and you heard soft thumps. Tears slipped out of the corner of your eye and you wiped them away. “Thats pretty cool.”

She smiled and nodded before handing you a towel. “You are all set to go, we will have the pictures at the desk where you can make your next appointment. It was nice meeting you (y/n) good luck on your pregnancy and congratulations again.” You smiled and thanked her before climbing back into your clothes. 2 months pregnant...theres a living being in there...my baby...mine and Harry’s baby...oh god, what am I going to tell Harry? At the desk you scheduled another appointment and the receptionist handed you a picture saying congratulations. You looked at the little pea shaped blob inside you and grinned. Thats mine...thats inside me.

Luke surprised you by standing at your car door with an ice cream sundae. “Soo did you faint? did you die? did you live?”

You laughed, “Yeah I lived. I didnt have my blood drawn at all actually.”

“Oh? Why’s that?” You took the sundae from him and smiled taking a bite, the hot fudge melting in your mouth.

“Because of this.” you waved the picture in your hand and he grabbed it his mouth dropping.

“Is that what I think it is? Do you have an alien growing inside you?”

“Lukeee seriously”

He laughed and looked into your eyes. “Okay okay but wow, a baby. That’s amazing. How are you feeling about it?”

“I feel like it hasn't sunk in yet....but that I’m really happy. I mean Ive always wanted a baby...why not do it now? I don't need a man in my life. Im a strong and independent woman.”

“That you are, but don't worry you will have me too. Im going to be a great uncle, its the best job anyways. But uh- are you going to tell Harry?”

You shrugged your shoulders and continued eating. “(y/n)...it is his baby right?”

You rolled your eyes and nodded. “It cant be anyone else's.”

“So then you're going to tell him.”

“Idontknow” you mumbled, your mouth full of ice cream.

“You have to..you know he would want to know.”

“Theres a lot I wanted to know and he didn't tell me so I’m not sure yet. I haven't decided anything.”

“Okay...” he gave in and hugged you. “I’m happy for you I really am.”

You hugged him back and smiled. “Thanks. I’m glad you're here...I’m glad I have someone to go through this with. And I’m so so glad you brought ice cream.”

“It’s okay. What are friends for right?” You nodded and jumped in the car after saying goodbye. You didn’t quite know who to call yet so you decided to just enjoy some time with yourself. You did the only logical thing you could think of after finding out that there was a baby inside you: you went shopping. You picked a local baby store and walked in, looking at all the onesies, furniture, blankets, binkies, and bears.

“Hi! Anything I can help you find today?”

“No, thank you I’m just looking.”

“Okay well we are having a two for one deal on onesies and bibs so make sure to check those out.”

“I will thank you.” you smiled at the girl working but she kept looking back at you.

“Are you (y/n)...the girl dating Harry Styles?” she asked shyly.

“I was dating him, not anymore actually.” She nodded and gave you the look, you know the one of pity and sorrow? You went back to shopping looking at all of the little outfits, there were so many choices. You also had no idea if you were having a boy or a girl..something told you it was a boy but obviously you had no clue whatsoever. You decided on a cute grey onesie with little animals on it...gender neutral. You also grabbed a cute binkie that had a stuffed bear attached to it.

“These are super cute.” the girl said while checking out. “There's a whole collection that goes with this if youre interested.”

“No, that's okay this is enough for now?”

She nodded and wrapped the stuff in a bag. “So how far along are you?”

“Not very far, only a few months.”

“Well congrats! I hope everything goes smoothly and I hope to see you back here soon for more stuff.”

You smiled and nodded. “I for sure will be back.”

You drove home, your phone blowing up the entire way with twitter notifications, instagram tags, and more. Inside you scrolled through it, only to find pictures of you shopping for the baby clothes. Your name attached to headlines stating you were expecting but not far along. Great...this is not what I need...how do they even know.... you were scrolling through more twitter notifications. Harry’s name was now being brought into this. Another daddy in One Direction? Harry Styles Expecting? ugh...this literally cannot be happening.. and then everything got worse.. Harry’s name and photo popped up on your screen as he called. “Harry?” you answered anxiously.

---

Part 1 of my new series, hope you all enjoy! Goal is to have another part posted tonight or tomorrow! This is kind of just an intro to the story, I’m hoping to have them be a little longer but let me know what you all would rather: longer and less stories (may take more time to upload) or shorter and more stories (updated a little faster)

Let me know what you think so far and what you think will happen.

xoxo

#one direction #one direction fanfiction #directioners #one direction imagines #Harry Styles #harry styles fanfiction #harrystyles #harry styles imagine #harry styles imagines

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disaster-fruit · 4 years ago

Note

could you tell us more about the brarg family au with the 3 babies and trans luci?

I definitely can! This au has been living rent free in my head since i started that drawing and I was actually sketching more stuff for the AU right before I got this ask so- I definitely can ramble more about it

This was supposed to be just a collection of a few hcs and now it’s a multi-pages word document the size of a fanfic so – Im really sorry.

I didn’t think a lot about their backstories tbh, though I have it in my mind that Luciano transition in his late teens and that he and martin either met after that or knew each other before luciano came out, lost all contact, and then met again after (and you can blame oxiosas fic for that yeah im not even subtle)

But I imagine them having some sort of meet cute and kinda progressing really fast in their relationship without realizing – yk, its just a fling, no big deal, yeah ive met his parents, yes I basically spend every weekend in his apartment, yeah I have a spare key now, ops I guess we’re adopting dogs and plants together- oh I think we’re married. Yeah. We’re married.

Ok but for real Luci does the proper proposal-with-a-ring-and-knelt-down-on-a-special-day thing and Martin is just bright red saying yes over and over again

It is Afonso (port) the first to be all WHERE ARE MY GRANDCHILDREN like… the night of their wedding.

They live in a house in a not too big city with two dogs, one cat, one parrot and all the birds that Luciano feeds and names that aren’t actually theirs. Still, they choose the house with two spare rooms because they always talked about having two kids.

In this AU they can buy a nice house and don’t have to worry about money and can raise kids like the world isn’t ending.

I think right after they got married they got in line for adoption. However, everything indicated that it would take a long long time so they started talking about the possibility of trying to have a biological kid. I think luci was the one to suggest it when he noticed martin had been thinking about it but not saying anything for a while.

Lots of boring doctor visits and confused doctors looking at luciano and trying to process it like the dumb cishets they are. Boring exams and all that, but everything is on track eventually, luci pauses his hrt and keeps his jockstrap on the drawer and they’re googling the best positions for fertility on those weird cishet sites and doing it like bunnies etc etc

Getting pregnant the natural way after years of testosterone is not the easiest thing in the world, so it takes a while. But eventually it works.

Both of them are kinda freaking out with this whole first pregnancy thing. Martin is the ultimate protective husband, and spends way too much time on the internet finding out what luciano can and can’t eat, what exercises he should do, and going to every single doctor visit. He’s very committed to it.

Luciano has to drink non-alcoholic beer and hates life. There’s a single teardrop shed every time he buys it. And drinks a lot of lemonade like it’s the same as caipirinha. Poor guy. Martin doesn’t help on that, life isn’t fair, he buys his own beer.

But he also has to drive absurd lengths to find the weirdest fruit or make the most hideous, blasphemous pizza toppings because Luciano is constantly craving absurd shit. But poor baby actually really NEEDS that chicken M&M pizza at 8am.

They’re super proud daddies though, and both their instagrams at this point are just baby belly pictures. Luci had top surgery on this au on my hc so also. Lots of shirtless pics. He looks like an old uncle with a beer belly and he’s PROUD. Just. Baby bellies all over.

Martin picks the entire baby layette. Because of course he does.

Their baby shower is a huge deal though. Their dads are there, Antonio brings an entire trunk filled with diapers and tells everyone how many tincho used to need when he was a baby, Afonso is cooking for everyone and talking about how he’s gonna be a grandfather (!!!). Iracema (pindorama) is scolding Luci about his bad habits while also quietly being a super proud grandma. Zola (angola) bought toys because she knows that’s what kids actually like, Samero (Mozão) keeps asking if they installed all the necessary security stuff in their house – we will, chill, we still have some months to go – Vera (Tomé) is teasing Simão (Timor) about him no longer being the family baby, Fatima (g.bissau) is another one who bought a huge amount of diapers, Rosinha (cabo verde) is taking pictures of everyone and everything, Sebas and Dani are discussing if the kid should speak Portuguese or Spanish, Maria brought a huge pink plushy as a gift, it’s quite a party.

Once they’re late in the pregnancy, Luciano mostly spends his time on Martin’s oversized t-shirts asking for foot rubs and not getting much sleep because the baby keeps moving. Martin on the other hand is a little nervous about being a dad, but absolutely loves feeling the little kicks and talking to the baby all the time, except when its 3am and he wants to sleep but Luci cant because of it so he just does his best to keep him company. He mostly ends up falling asleep on his chest though and doesn’t help much

I wrote all of this but I still don’t have a name for the girl lol Anyway, she’s finally born, and if martin was overprotective when Luciano was pregnant, he’s ten times more with his baby girl. Tbh theyre both kinda going crazy with this whole parenting thing, both are overprotective, tired, and have no idea what theyre doing.

Zola and Sebastian are the girl’s godparents. Sebastian isn’t very good with kids so when he takes care of his niece he either puts on a tv show and lets her eat whatever crap she wants, or relies on Daniel to do the actual taking care, since he is good with kids.

Luciano and Martin are very much neurotic first-timers and have all this schedule of what their girl can eat and when and when she has to sleep etc etc.

When Zola takes care of her, she just ignores it and does it her way. She helped raised Luci since he was a baby anyway, he survived just fine and even married and reproduced, she knows what to do better than both the dumbasses, and they never even find out.

Afonso on the other had follows everything when he’s with his granddaughter, determined to be a better grandfather than he was a father, and the baby loves him so he’s doing a good job.

They’re a very cute family yes yes

She grows up well and happy, a bit shy maybe but very smart and sweet, loves the dogs and her aunts and uncles and granddads (afonso more than antonio though)

By the way, Iracema is soft like butter with her granddaughter.

When she’s about four or five years old they start talking about having a second one, considering the age difference and all. So back to doctors, Luci stops the hrt again and they go back to trying, but again it’s not the easiest thing in the world to do it naturally after years of hrt.

But god listens to the prayers of such good catholic family, and right after they start thinking about a second child, they receive the news they will finally get to adopt a baby.

Luciano is the one to receive the news, he’s working at home when the social worker comes to tell him they can finally adopt. He’s extremely happy, he hugs the poor lady and is barely able to concentrate as she explains the paperwork that is left and the details of it because he can’t stop smiling.

He immediately texts martin saying something like “CALL ME RIGHT NOW WE NEED TO TALK” and it’s in happy caps but martin understands it wrong and thinks someone is dying or dead but then his phone is what dies so he gets home as fast as he can thinking all the worst scenarios just to find luciano jumping on him with a smile for ear to ear. It’s such a shock he takes a while to react but when he does you have two idiots so happy they can’t function.

It’s another girl, she has big brown eyes like her sister and it’s a few months old.

They quickly reassemble the crib and paint the second room to get everything ready in time to take her home, and the next week or so it’s nothing but all the family visiting to meet their new baby.

Since they managed to adopt, they decided to stop trying to have another kid. Luciano goes back to the doctor do some routine exams so that he can go back to testosterone and the doctor just awkwardly explains that, well, that won’t be exactly possible. Not for the next eight months, at least.

He’s quite shocked at that, and takes him a while to tell martin. They just got a new baby and do they even have space to raise three kids? Eventually it just escapes from him and martin is shocked as well, but ultimately both of them are just worried about their place being too small, and once they relax about that they can’t shut up about having another baby on the way to anyone.

Still, it’s not easy to manage, martin is just as worried as he was with their eldest, except that this time he’s simultaneously worried about their new baby and about Luci’s pregnancy. Poor dude needs a break asap. So he’s trying to do most of the work of caring for a little baby to spare luciano from the stress, while also taking care of him as well as he did the other time.

Luci is more chill about being pregnant, he’s done this before, he’s fine. He’s even a little too chill about it, as shown in the art, he still wants to carry their kid on his shoulder and having a few sips of martin’s beer is no big deal and honestly he’s fine, he can help with the baby, and Tincho just needs to relax and it will all be fine.

Again, poor tincho needs a break.

Some things don’t change though. Them being super proud daddies who do nothing but take pictures of their kids and Luci’s belly every chance they get. And they’re really happy and excited to have their house full and this big family.

Just a good cute family AU where nothing bad ever happens thank you very much. Yet it took me almost 2k words to say it. I have no self control and I’m very sorry. However, if anyone has their own hcs to add about this whole au, I will be more than happy to hear and talk about this AU even more than I’ve already done.

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tree0frog · 3 years ago

Text

memory maze runner x fem reader part two

masterlist

it had been three years since ably was sent up to the maze followed by newt and Minho and so on and on. the diaries had still not been found the new greenie for this month was chuck a small boy around 12-13 and was most likely the youngest in the glade he wasn't really doing much so he was just wondering around the woods when he notices something sticking up from the ground chuck being himself and brode out of his mind went over to the weird thing and pulled it out of of the ground it was a bag he wanted to see what was inside but couldn't open it he knew newt out be able to help him since he was meant to be helping him in the garden.

chucks pov

the bag was old and looked like it had been there for a while I tried to open it but it was tide too tightly I knew newt could mabey help me so I made my way back to the tall blond boy I hadn't had time to get to know each other but I was still happy for the few I did know once I made my way back to knew he looked at me confused "what you go there greenie "he asked "I'm not sure it was lying in the dirt beside a tree I wanted to look in it but I can't seem to open it"newt laughed "so you want to see if I can open your bloody bag for ya "I looked away rubbing the back of my neck newt took the bag from the theme and opened it everything seemed to be I'm pretty good condition "I have no clue what these are but tonight well show ably alright" newt Spock handing the bad back to me "ok"

time skip

it was later that night at dinner when chuck decided to bring the bad up he knew he wasn't meant to just go up to their leader like that but who the fuck cared not him anyway well Mebay a little but no one needs to know that now do they "ably "the boy said nervously "hey greenie you ok"the boy looked up from his food as well as some of the other keepers at the table "ah e ya I just found this and I wasn't sure what to do with it" Chuck glands at newt the back at alby and handed him the bag the older boy just looked between the two boys but takes they bag anyway.

after dinner newt minho and alby decide to go throw the bag "do you think it will have anything use full in it"?minho asked "probably not it most likely been left by the craters" newt stated as ably started to take the items out of the bag there were 4 book some 8 folded paper a silver band they looked at them one by one until newt Spock up "whos y/n" he looked up at the other two in the room the dairy he had to pick up seemed to be the oldest "are you going to open it"minho asked crossing his arms "ill get to that "the boy laughed the book was filled to the bring of different piced of paper newt started to read the first page.

day one

well hi, I would tell you my name but I don't remember that I'm not sure why though for now ill call myself greenie I don't know why buts let go with it for the now cool. well first of all I woke up in the mettel box thing that took me too long to get out of when I awoke here I'm not sure what ill call it but I don't think ill be leaving any time soon I'm surrounded by four big walls they aren't open but I can hear things moving inside of them oh ya and for some reason, there are animals in the box as well I'm not too sure what's that all about if you wondering why I'm writing this down it is because I for one want to remember this and two if I ever leave this place I can have something to look back on.

I want to say it's about midday or so well once I manage to get out of the box and get everything out as well I were who ever sent me here won't be too happy when I find that if I ever do I just spent today walking about this place it's really big and I seem to be the only one here the people that sent me up here gave some a hammock witch was nice of I guess so I set that up I really hope they send someone else up soon I'm lonely and fuck here.

there's these weird gree bug with that have W.IC.K.E.D. on them I tried to touch one it never went very well I think it will be nice here there's not much to do now but tomorrow ill find something to do it's late now I think, to be honest, I don't know what time it is but the light is fading to em I guess this is a good night

greenie

newt finished reading the three boys look up at each other with a shocked look on their face "should I read more"neat asked the other two just nodded

day 2

well today has been fun I get my name back it's y/n it is weird and I'm not sure if it suits me but at least I have a name to call myself now I started a farm and started to male some bits and bobs around this place I still need a name for it I started to work on making a kitchen like think to keep all of the food I have in I was give some cand food as well as granola bards and bread so that's what iv been eating and im happy to say it went well the walls opened up today I think this is some form of a maze im not sure yet the box hast came back yet im waiting to see how long till it comes up.

it's very hot here but it's nice I just hope it doesn't rain any time soon I found out most of the things here have the word wicked on the still not sure what that means but you know what shuck that oh ya I also forgot to menschen I made up of new words shuck means such greenie means newbie klunk means shit that's all iv got, for now, I think ill like it here

y/n

"alby when you came up here what was all here, "minho asked still looking shocked "well there was the map room the home shuck the kitchen a smaller farm and the slaughterhouse and a small med bay as well" they all looked at each other "so you telling me that this y/n was here before you built this place and the left leaving their stuff here, "newt asked looked at there leader "look I know as much as you do, "alby said "hey why don't we just go to shucking sleep and come back to this in the morning "minha yawned.

minho had given the runners the day off and alby had called all of the keepers for a gathering about this y/n person "so if your wondering why you all here its because chuck found this yesterday and we wanted to see if we could find any use full info in it so take a piece of paper and get looking all right "alby was followed by mumbles and grows him newt minho and gally had one book each and the others had the pice of paper that had their fallen out of a book or was just there.

about an hour had passed and no one had found anything till gally Spock up "hey I found something "well don't just stand there read it out"alby ordered

day 163

well good even to whoever is reading this today has been a shucking great one I keep having these dreams about a boy called newt and whoever he is they keep saying were twins I don't understand what going on with my head mabey im just going crazy right iv been here alone for so long right

not the point of today I finished mapping out the full maze I the maze opens in bits so one part will open then the next a different one but I don't think it has anything to do with the maze I think it has something to do with the maps and grievers that's what im calling them anywhere there big creatures that have tried to kill me there easy to kill once you get the change of it, oh ya and the box came up again with more things I wish they would send someone else up here im border welp good night

y/n

gally look up to see all eyes on him "newt have you ever heard the name y/n before this "newt shook his head sighing he hadn't before "and what does she if she mean about its not the maze its the maps and grievers "minho asked "I'm not sure but there are somewhat maps they aren't very clear though "frypan stated

they were about to continue when the box alarm went off

#maze runner #minho #newt #tmr gally #reader

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captain-kingliamsqueen · 4 years ago

Text

Diary of A Star Crossed Lover Part 2

just a short series ...well not really a series...but still a series! , that ive been working on! there are a few series i’’ve had to put on hold as im just not feeling them right now, and i only want to put my best out for you to read! hope you enjoy this series as much as i have enjoyed writing it!

Pairing: Liam x Riley, Liam x MC

Summary: Liam dives into riley most inner thoughts and dreams...

Word Count: 2,655

Masterlist

ASK IF YOU WANT TAGGED! SORRY IF I MISSED ANYONE!

I always notice every single spelling mistake or issue after I’ve posted…so apologies in advance!

Tags aren’t working so I will be tagging in the comments. Ive tried to tag everyone, please don’t hesitate to msg and let me know if i forgot to tag you!

June 14th

Dear Diary…

Here I am…sitting in the middle of a foreign country…Cordonia, When Maxwell appeared at my apartment and asked me if I wanted to come to Cordonia and compete for Liam's hand in marriage…I mean…is there really a choice in the matter…stay and be a waitress for the rest of my life…come and have the time of my life, with an amazing guy! I’ve never been one to shoot my shot or anything, but this is a once in a lifetime chance, Liam is Amazing, Exciting and extremely handsome, how could I possibly say no?

Love you Muchly…Riley x

Liam placed Riley's diary down on the table as Drake entered his office.

“Drake” Liam greeted him.

“Hey, I just came to see if we’re still on for Poker night tomorrow?”

“I’ll have to postpone for about 30 minutes but we’re definitely still on for it!!”

“alright, I just wanted to check, I’ll let you get back to whatever it was you were doing”

After Drake left, Liam lifted the diary again.

June 26th

Dear Diary,

After the derby and the picnic today, we all went out for cronuts, I can’t believe they’ve never tried them! getting to spend some time with Liam was amazing, even though there were others there, just getting to be with him outside of the court was just amazing. My heart just about jumped out of my body, when we were sitting in the café, and I felt his fingers brush my hand, then his hand linked with mine, he gave it a gentle squeeze then smiled when I looked at him. God I love his smile!

Love you Muchly…Riley x

Liam smirked as he turned the page over,

June 27th

Dear Diary,

Today we are heading to Lythikos, Olivia’s neck of the woods. She has the upper hand here; I need to be careful. Well that’s what Max said anyway…I kind of like Olivia, she’s a strong, bold woman…I cant fault her for that, I mean of course she could be a little nicer but, I think she and I could maybe get along one day.

The thing that scares me about this whole situation…is I’m falling in love with Liam…but it doesn’t matter…its all down to who he chooses, so we could get to the end of the social season and he chooses one of the other ladies…I feel like a prize to be won…I’m not sure how I feel about that… I’m no one’s trophy, and I know there’s no ill intent on Liam's part, but in the end…it’s his decision that’s going to either make or break my life…if I am the one he chooses, I become his wife, the countries queen! But if he chooses someone else, I go home, with nothing, just the embarrassment of going home, known as the “foolish” woman who followed a total stranger to a foreign country after spending a few hours together, hoping he would fall in love with her. I want to believe he will choose me, he has never given me reason to think he wouldn’t, but at the same time, I have to be realistic, I have only known Liam for a matter of weeks…

If it’s a choice of fear or hope…I think ill choose hope, hope that Liam is feeling the same amazing connection that I am, from the moment we met I felt some kind of magnetic pull towards him, and I know he felt it too…I don’t want to live in fear of what might possibly happen, I want to have hope…that he’s falling in love with me too.

Love you Muchly…Riley x

A frown found itself upon Liam's face as he reread the last entry, she was right…the ladies were basically put on a buffet table for him to take his pick of whoever he wanted… Riley had very rarely spoken about her thoughts if Liam wasn’t to choose her, was she really that scared that he wouldn’t and that’s why she didn’t mention it, or did she just have that much faith in him? he loved her from the minute they met, he would choose her over any woman in the world, without a pause for thought, it was always Riley, and he would spend the rest of his life, showing her, she was always the one, she will always be the one for him.

He turned the page over and began the next entry.

27th June

Dear Diary…

I’ve been here just about two weeks and my god, it is AMAZING! I mean, I wish I could spend so much more time with Liam but he says he has to spend time with the other girls too so it doesn’t look to obvious…I won’t lie, I won’t deny it…it makes me kind of jealous, I wish I could spend every day with that man, whenever I’m around him I just feel…free…I feel like I don’t have to hide anything, I don’t feel self-conscious, I don’t feel anxious, or nervous! He just makes me feel at peace. I’ve never felt so comfortable just being in a room with someone. We managed to sneak a kiss or two, I want to spend the rest of my life feeling the way his kisses make me feel. when Olivia kissed Liam…boy did my heart sink, I know he didn’t want to kiss her, he told me that himself, but seeing someone else kiss him just made me feel…some kind of way. He invited me up to his room after the ball, which I happily agreed to! I could never turn down more time with Liam. When I arrived at his room and he had lit candles oh my goodness, I don’t think ive ever had someone be that romantic…when I asked him and he blushed, my god! Liam and I spent ages in the hot tub, we kissed, we y’know…messed around a little bit and we had a real deep conversation about love, about life, Ive never seen him as relaxed than he was last night. Being in his arms…it just felt so right. When we got out of the hot tub and he made us hot chocolate to sit and drink Infront of the fire, its just turning 2am and I’m only just getting back, if I’d stayed any longer the two of us would have fell asleep, as much as we would have both loved that, it wouldn’t have looked very good anyone seen I was leaving Liam's room, in his clothes after spending the night with him then stayed over. Let it be known, if we could have…we would have.

Love you Muchly…Riley

Liam grinned as he remembered that night all too well. That night he spent with Riley was one of the best nights he ever had.

June 27th

Riley sat with her eyes closed, cuddled into Liam's chest, with his arms wrapped around her. The hot bubbly, steamy water keeping them warm on the cold night. Liam pressed a gentle kiss to Riley's head “Riley?” he whispered, as he gently ran his hand through her hair. “yeah” she replied

“What does Love mean to you?” Liam gently traced his fingers over her cheek as he looked down to see her so relaxed. Riley opened her eyes as she looked up at him, giving him the sweetest smile.

“Love means accepting you for who they are, and not wanting to change you. it means loving you and standing by you through the worst times. It means loving you even when you are in a bad mood, or too tired to do the things I want to do. It means loving you when you’re down, not just when you’re fun to be with. Love means, that I know you’re deepest secrets and do not judge you for them, asking in return that you do not judge me for mine, it means that I care enough to fight for what we have and that I love you enough not to let go, it means thinking of you, dreaming of you, wanting and needing you constantly and hoping…just hoping that you feel the same way for me …I think Love is just a word…until someone comes along and gives it meaning, and when that someone comes along, Love becomes this…whole new adventure.”

“Riley…” Liam whispered with a smile as he leaned in placing the sweetest kiss on her lips, her fingers lacing through the hair on the back of his neck.

Not long later, Liam whispered, breaking the peaceful silence that the two had fell into.

��do you want to get some hot chocolate and we can sit in front of the fireplace?”

“that sounds like a great idea”

Liam climbed out of the hot tub, then offered Riley his hand to help her out. She thanked him as he lifted a towel and wrapped it around her, then got himself one.

“I don’t have any dry clothes Liam; I only have my dress”

“I’m sure I have something you can put on” Liam assured her. They made their way into Liam's bedroom; Liam went to his suitcase where he pulled out a t shirt and a pair of shorts.

“I hope these are alright for you”

“they’re perfect, thank you”

Riley moved into the bathroom where she changed out of her soaking undergarments and into the fresh, dry clothes then she made her way back into the bedroom. Liam was in a pair of grey shorts and a plain white t shirt; he was stood in his little kitchenette just finishing the hot chocolate. He brought them over to Riley, placing them on the floor beside where he had sat some cushions on the floor for them. Riley sat down, whilst Liam grabbed a blanket from the bed, he sat beside Riley, wrapping his arm along with the blanket around her.

The two spent the next while sipping away at their hot beverages.

By the time the clock hit 1am, there were two empty mugs, Riley sat cuddled into Liam's chest, drifting in and out of sleep. Whilst Liam sat running his fingers through Riley's hair, their legs entangled under the blanket that had made its way round to lay over their legs, Liam could barely keep his eyes open.

“we can’t fall asleep” he whispered as he held her that little bit tighter.

“I know…we’re just resting our eyes for a little bit” Riley smiled tiredly “I should head back to my room soon”

“I wish you didn’t have to; I could lay here with you all night”

“me too, but sadly it’s the way it has to be”

Liam nearly caved that night; it took everything he had in him to stop himself from just climbing into bed and falling asleep beside the woman he was falling deeply in love with. With a grin on his face just thinking about the night, he closed the diary over, then he got up and headed out of his office and down to the royal quarters. He always had this diary with him, every chance he got, he would read a page or two. He wanted to really understand how Riley felt through the whole social season and engagement to madeleine.

Liam had made plans to have dinner with Riley, well made plans as in, on the plane after they got engaged Liam told Riley, they would never have to eat dinner alone again, so every night since and every night going forwards the two had dinner together. Once Liam got to the apartment, he showered then changed into some more comfortable clothes before heading down to Riley's room where one of the staff would be bringing the two take out. Liam and Riley sat on the sofa, with the tv on in the background whilst they ate.

“so, I was thinking about wedding cake earlier” Riley stated as she put a shovel of Chinese noodles into her mouth

“really? You have something in mind?”

“Lemon cake…” she grinned

“that’s a great idea, I think it will go down really well with everyone!

“I was also thinking maybe we could go for a walk on the beach after dinner, if you don’t have any engagements that is”

“nope, I cleared the night, I would love to go for a walk on the beach with you”

After the two finished their food, they wrapped up and pulled their shoes on then headed down to Liam's car, with Bastian following closely behind in the SUV, they made their way to the beachfront.

“it’s so cold…but it’s so peaceful” Riley whispered, she squeezed Liam's hand as she cuddled into his side.

“so, I’ve been reading your diary” Liam whispered

“you have?” Riley grinned with a soft blush hitting her cheeks.

“I have, I wasn’t going to, I wanted to respect your privacy, but then…I wanted to fully understand what you went through, how you felt.”

“so how far have you got?”

“just earlier today I was reading about the night we spent in the hot tub in lythikos”

Riley smirked when he mentioned it. “one of the best nights I had, that was one of the first nights I felt truly connected to you, we had no interruptions, no engagements, he really talked and got to know each other a little better… just us”

“me too” he smiled as he squeezed her hand.

The two sat down on the sand, Riley sat between Liam's legs leaning back into his chest.

“do you have it with you?”

“your diary?”

“yeah” she smirked

“yes, I have it”

“we should read some”

“right now?”

“yeah right here, whilst we have peace and quiet”

Liam pulled the small book from the inside pocket of his jacket. He flipped the book open and began to read.

June 29th

Dear Diary

I had the best day at the beach, there was a sailing competition, then we spent the day on the sand, I got burnt to a crisp and I don’t even mind! Liam hates sailing, when he told me he only really takes part because his father’s love for boats is most important than his dislike for them! He is so selfless and kind…ive never met anyone that would put as many people before themselves as he does. He’s a really good man! What I did learn though, is my hopefully soon to be husband doesn’t like the taste of salt water, I’m not surprised!

Liam chuckled as he remembered his awful boat ride with Drake.

Today was the day Liam found out his father would be stepping down as king at the end of the social season, meaning, he would be choosing a wife and becoming king all at the one time. I really felt for him, his profession can’t be easy, being rushed into finding a wife, then being told he only had a few weeks before he would have the weight of the kingdom on his shoulders, it’s an extremely stressful situation and I hope I have shown him, that if he ever needs someone to just sit and listen or just distract him for a little bit, I will be there, no matter what.

Liam took me to the forgotten falls, my god it was absolutely stunning there, and the story behind it was just…wow! Two people forbidden from falling in love with each other…sounds all too familiar…though I’m sure Liam and I won’t let anyone get in our way. When Liam said he wanted us to take the leap of faith off the edge of the waterfall, I couldn’t say no!

When he kissed me in the water…my god, it was like no other kiss ive had before! Then he nearly said he loved me…god I wish he had…because I love him too.

Love you muchly…Riley x

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punksarahreese · 4 years ago

Note

"Don't go. Please. I need you." for the chronic au 👀

👀 this was fun

CW: hemiplegic migraine attack, panic

***

Sarah should have stayed home that day.

She kept having this recurring thought that something bad was going to happen; existential dread had set in the second she woke up. She only had a bit of a headache though, one she had been dealing with for a couple days by then, so she figured she would be fine. She was just being dramatic, she told herself; work couldn’t wait.

Here she was though, five hours later and regretting her decision. The pain got worst quickly, a splitting headache through the right side of her frontal and temporal lobes. Tylenol didn’t touch it and she had to wait for her break to take anything else. She was trying to work through it, reminding herself the pain was temporary, but it was proving to be difficult. It was the muscle twitching that appeared slowly, a slight tremor only noticed when she had trouble inserting an IV in the afternoon. When her vision started getting blurry that’s when Sarah became concerned; blurry vision following a tremor was almost never a good sign.

"Sarah?" April’s hand fell on hers when she noticed it was shaking slightly. The resident had been talking to her about a case they were writing notes for when she had fallen silent suddenly. It concerned April because Sarah appeared to have zoned out.The grip she had on the charting tablet loosened suddenly and it clattered the short distance to the counter, making Sarah flinch.

"You okay?"

Sarah forced a nod, "Fine, just a bit of a headache."

April didn’t believe her, that was obvious, and she took the tablet away gently. Sarah was about to protest because she needed to finish her notes before doctor Charles asked, but the nurse shushed her.

"Go take some Advil and get some water. Take 15 minutes at least; I’ll let Maggie know."

April did it out of concern, Sarah knew she did. She couldn’t get mad either because she knew logically she wasn’t fine. Treating patients in her state would be a mistake but she hated showing weakness. Still, she let the nurse shoo her away to the ED lounge, pressing two ibuprofen from a bottle at the nurses station into her hand before she left.

She did as she was told, going into the lounge to get a glass of water. The way her equilibrium was off made her feel sick after taking the painkillers though, the room spinning a little. She had to set her paper cup back on the counter when her tremor picked up again, making the water slosh precariously. Sarah cursed under her breath as she barely caught herself when her legs suddenly buckled.

Lowering herself to the floor the rest of the way, Sarah winced as the sudden movement made her head ache more. The harsh fluorescent lighting made shapes dance across her line of vision, adding to the nauseating dizziness she felt. The right side of her face felt numb and her one eye was almost completely blurry, telling Sarah she was probably experiencing facial paralysis by then. She should have stopped and gone home or called Ava at the first sign of a tremor because this was definitely a hemiplegic attack manifesting quickly.

She couldn’t speak at that point to call out, not loud enough for anyone to hear anyway. Her words would have been slurred and unintelligible, so it didn’t matter. She knew there wasn’t anything they could do anyway, but the thought of going through an attack like this alone again was enough to make her cry. Her brain was already jumbled and she didn’t know what to do other than sit there, back against the cabinets, and cry silently as the situation overwhelmed her.

Crockett was certainly not expecting to encounter such a scene when he walked into the lounge 10 minutes later. He just wanted to grab his wallet so he could go get coffee on his break, so to say he was shocked by the sight of his friend on the floor would be an understatement. His confusion was quickly replaced with concern when he saw Sarah was crying and noticed the hemiplegia warping the right side of her face. The other doctor was on the floor with her in seconds, asking her if she was alright and insisting they go to a treatment room.

"N-no," Sarah protested weakly, the rest of her sentence lost in a jumble of incoherent words. Crockett frowned at her, reminding her that even if it was just a migraine attack she needed to be monitored in case it progressed to an ischemic attack or mini stroke.

An aggressive head shake caused her to stifle a sob, aggravating her pain, the only decipherable word a shaky, "Av... A-ava."

"You need her?"

The pleading looking in Sarah’s eyes was enough to have Crockett on his phone in seconds, paging the resident’s girlfriend with a 911 so she would get there as soon as she could. He told Sarah she would be on her way soon, reassuring her that everything was okay. This was the second time he had found her during a migraine like this and it never got less terrifying so he couldn’t imagine how scared Sarah was in that moment.

She reached out for him with her arm that wasn’t paralyzed, grasping at his purple stethoscope because it was the one thing her good eye could fixate on. She was relying entirely on her left side, slumping over because her muscles refused to work. Crockett caught Sarah before she fell, helping her stay upright by leaning her into his side, an arm around her waist because it’s all he could do to comfort her. Sarah couldn’t relax into him even if she tried, all she could do was cry as she got more frustrated with the situation.

"Crockett?" A familiar accented voice was heard from somewhere close by in the ED. He called out to Ava, telling her they were in the lounge.

Ava’s heart dropped in her chest when she walked in the door. Her girlfriend was slumped against their colleague, hemiplegia clearly affecting her harshly as she had to lift her right arm with her left to shift her body weight. She was with them on the floor immediately, hand finding Sarah’s cheek and wincing as she felt the paralyzed muscles under her fingertips.

"Darling?" She made sure Sarah could see her from her left side, "Are you alright?"

Crockett watched them for a second before gently detangling himself from Sarah’s arm, helping her lean against Ava instead. He made sure they were alright before saying he was going to inform Goodwin about what was happening. Ava barely heard him, way too preoccupied with trying to gauge how lucid her girlfriend was at that point.

"Sarah?"

Sarah was staring at her with an amount of fear in her eyes that made Ava herself feel like crying. She knew these attacks were some of the most terrifying moments for her, since they came on so suddenly but so slowly at the same time. She could never differentiate between a “normal” migraine and a hemiplegic one until the tremors and paralysis set it. It was always there, a constant threat of them, and Sarah was never prepared. They also raised her chance of an actual stroke by a lot, and one bad bout of ischemia could end her medical career and even her life.

To say she was terrified would be a major understatement.

“A...Ava...” her name was stuttered out through a gasp of pain, her good hand gripping at the surgeon’s scrubs tightly. Ava just hushed her gently, telling her it would pass because she knew it would. Her hands were on Sarah’s face, in her hair, trying to soothe her with familiar touch because it’s all she could do. Sarah was numb to it but she knew Ava was there, she couldn’t quite focus on her reassurances but she was grateful regardless.

“I... I don’t...” Sarah was frustrated because her brain couldn’t get the words out, “I...scary.”

“I know, Sarah,” Ava replied, “I know you’re scared. I’m sorry.” She shifted a little, trying to pull the other woman closer so they were in a more comfortable position. She didn’t expect the small movement to get such a big reaction, jumping a little when Sarah’s grip on her tightened and she whined painfully.

“Do- Don’t go...” tears had come back to her eyes as she clung to Ava, “P-please. Need y... need you.”

“No no, darling,” the blonde looked at her sadly, hand coming up to hold her face gently. She knew this kind of episode was disorienting, the fact that Sarah was lucid enough to speak like this was rare. The other woman was terrified and it broke Ava’s heart; she would never leave her alone during a moment like this.

She held Sarah for a second, trying to calm her shaking body with the stability of her own, “I wasn’t going to leave. I’m right here, Sarah.”

“S...stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Ava promised, “I’ve got you.”

Sarah nodded a little, not able to hide the flinch that proceeded the motion. They stayed like that for a while, Sarah basically in her lap on the floor in front of the sink. People were probably staring, already knew what had happened, but Ava could not care less. All she wanted was for this to pass so she could take her girlfriend home. She needed rest and she wouldn’t get it there.

After some time, Sarah did stop crying. She relaxed a little in Ava’s hold, her head knocking against her shoulder as she gave into her exhaustion. Ava didn’t press the matter, just told her it was alright while she slid a hand down her wrist to check her pulse. She was tachycardic but it was slower than before, a promising sign. Her arm must have regained feeling because Sarah wrapped both of them around Ava’s neck to feel more secure. Still, she wouldn’t move until Sarah felt safe to do so because sometimes the paralysis could return.

“Ava?” Crockett’s voice tore her from her mental monitoring of her girlfriend’s vitals. The surgeon was standing by the door again and Ava could see Doctor Abrams behind him. Of course, they would have to talk to Sam before Sarah could go home. He liked to observe these attacks so they could be sure it wasn’t an actual stroke.

“I think we’re calming down,” she told Crockett, “She won’t want a CT, doesn’t need that stress, but a neuro exam couldn’t hurt.”

“Wanna...” Sarah’s words were still choppy and slow but much more intelligible, “Go... go home.”

“Can we let doctor Abrams check you over first, darling?” Ava promoted as she smoothed down Sarah’s hair in a soothing motion.

“No... room.”

“No, no treatment room,” Ava agreed as she looked at the other two doctors for clarification. A big move like that, parading her through the ED, it would be too much on Sarah. Ava wouldn’t expose her to that, knowing it might make her migraine flare back up from the stress. Crockett just nodded, knowing exactly what Ava was worried about. Sam took that as an indication to come into the lounge, standing a bit away so as to not spook Sarah.

“I can do a quick neuro exam in here, Sarah, if it is more convenient. I can’t let you leave without one first, that would be ill advised.”

It took a little more coaxing before Sarah sat up, looking the most alert she had since the morning. Her right eye was still a bit droopy but her face had regained muscle control, the toll the attack had on her body and mind was evident in her posture. She let Ava stand up and then help her to her feet, though it was a slow motion as she still had one sided weakness.

Ava carefully walked Sarah over to the couch, making sure she was stable before she let go of her arm. Sarah took a seat, though she perched on the edge of the cushion and didn’t relax at all. She was still scared, adrenaline coursing through her body and sending her flight response off its rocker. She hated these part of the attacks the worst, the lull in between active symptoms and the regain of complete control. She couldn’t tell if she was okay or not; everything felt so muddled. Sarah glanced at Ava when she stayed standing, worried brown eyes searching for reassurance again because it’s all she could do.

“Stay?”

Her girlfriend took the hint and sat down beside her, not questioning it when Sarah took her hand. She was always very sensitive and overwhelmed during these attacks, especially when they were shorter because it meant they could come back stronger later on. Sarah tended to cling to Ava in these moments, because she was her safety net and the one person she trusted when she was this vulnerable. Ava understood that and would do anything to be with her through every bad attack and every scary moment. She never wanted the woman she loved to be in pain, especially not while she was alone.

“I’m right here, Sarah. I’m always here when you need me.”

#ava calling sarah darling >>>>>>>#feedback would be appreciated #because idk how i feel about this one #this feels weird like idk my writing is off today #it’s 2 am idk #chicago med #ava bekker #sarah reese #reesker #my aus #chronic #spoonie!sarah #mutuals #crockettstiddies #asks

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maritimeericandersen · 3 years ago

Text

We’re Gunna Need A Bigger Boat: Shark Week, Part IV

Henry, Rose, and Eric go to find the creature that attacked someone in the lake with a different method than usual for this sort of thing.

Things don’t go to plan.

TW: Violence, blood, slashing, biting, drowning

@charmed-henry @thehuntress-rose @brucewhite @gabriella-marino

ERIC

Eric had figured it might have been a bit suspect if the three of them were to meet up in the dorms and walk over to the lake together. Especially equipped with weapons— and Eric’s very pungent cooler of meat and fish. He got out there about an hour earlier than the agreed upon time to dig out the spot where he had hidden the net he had scounged up, having to make a few modifications to ensure it was big enough for this thing. (Whatever this thing really was.) It had taken him a few goes to make something that would hold but after he’d gotten the first knot down it had been like riding a bike. The muscle memory from all those boat rides and hunting trips taking over.

So far the lake had been quiet, the only signs of movement had been the lapping of the water against the shore and the wind sweeping through the tree branches. (Beside the badger that had scared the bejesus out of him when it had come clambering out of the woods only to take off when he’d shined his light toward it.) It might have been reassuring had this not been his first hunt in what felt like ages. Instead it left him unsettled. Like whatever it was had run off everything else that frequented the lake.

He had dragged the net out and settled behind the equipment shed, resting up against the wall as he sat and waited. His eyes had closed before he knew it as the late hour caught up with him. The sound of footsteps, soft as they were, roused him. He stood and rounded the shed, not really thinking it would be anyone else but Henry or Rose.

The dark made it hard to make out the figure but he still called out to them, arm waving. “Oi! Over here!”

HENRY

Henry had also headed out from the dorms early, though not as early as Eric. He had been gathering weapons all week, his sword and some knives and some other hunting supplies at the advice of some guys at the Hunted Deer, and they were all quite heavy. That had slowed him down a bit. Henry was relieved to see that Eric had already arrived, though, because as much as Henry trusted Eric, he had been a little bit worried about Eric falling asleep or something. But that didn’t seem to be the case.

“Shh! Not so loud!” Henry stage-whispered, struggling to cross the sand with all the weapons. Maybe he should have left with Rose, at least to have help carrying things.

He assessed the setup. Net, cooler full of bait, Eric looking a little sleepy but ready to go. It was almost like old times again. He set down the crossbow and the set of knives. “Rose should be here soon. I didn’t really get a chance to tell her everything about you, so we’re gonna have to go over that real quick, but she knows about the lake attack. So once we get our story straight, we should be good to go. Remember, she’s not my girlfr--”

Henry cut himself off quickly when he saw the familiar outline of Rose approaching in the distance and waved. “Oi, Rose!”

ROSE

She didn’t think she was late, but was still the last to arrive it seemed. She prepared in different ways than the two boys had. The huntress assumed they’d go all in on weapons and nets and bait, so she brought some other items in her bag. Rose rolled her eyes as Henry waved her over and called out. So much for covert. They needed the cover of night, but could yell across the beach just fine. Strolling in with her energy drink in hand, she looked to both of the boys. The one she didn’t recognize looked young, “So you’re Eric? I’m Rose.”

She looked this new character up and down. Henry had only mentioned that he knew about the lake monster situation and he could help. Rose wasn’t sure how, but the net and smelly cooler was assuring. She knew if she needed to know this guy’s deal, they’d tell her. If it wasn’t necessary to the job, she wouldn’t ask. There was an unspoken understanding in organizations like her’s; it’s all need to know. If Henry vouched for this Eric boy, she could trust him. “Oh, and I brought liquid energy. I figured Henry would be so Type A that he’d bring enough supplies for the whole town to trap this thing so I brought night ops essentials.” She swung her backpack around and opened it to show the goods.

ERIC

Eric didn’t really have any expectations of Rose. He never had expectations from most people since he didn’t have the mind to think that far ahead. Wasn’t to say he hadn’t been curious to meet her— an American who hunted. And a girl at that.

He smiled, giving a nod of his head as she said his name, glancing at Henry to gauge if this reaction was a positive or a negative since he knew her better. Eric leaned forward over the space to stick out his hand but Rose had already turned her attention away to pull her bag around so Eric just closed his fingers into an awkward thumbs up and retreated. “Brilliant. Wouldn’t have even thought of that. Thank you.”

After a moment he clapped his hands together. “Alright then! Yeah, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Rose. Erm— bit of a disclosure here to make sure we’re all on the same page. Technically, to the Order, I’m dead. So if you could just not tell anyone you saw me here or know I’m alive that’d be great. Really appreciate that. And we’re also not trying to kill this thing unless completely necessary. Capturing and containing it should be our first priority.” He let out a breath, lips buzzing. His hands fell to rest on his hips as he looked between the two of them, brows raised. “Anything else?”

HENRY

Well, that was one way to put it. It got the message across, at least, anyway. Henry had been a bit worried about how Rose would respond to that. Out of everyone in the Order, she wasn’t the most loyal to Tom or John (Henry was pretty sure) but she still had a pretty close relationship with Phil. And while Henry trusted Phil and thought the world of him, he also worried about how Phil would react if he found out about this. It would reflect badly on Henry.

“Yes, that’s very important-- very long story, but basically, Eric and I trained together, but he’s figuring some things out right now, and it will sort of get in the way of the mission if it comes out that he’s around. But we need his help for this mission so… yeah. Sorry I didn’t mention before. It’s sort of a need-to-know basis thing.”

There was something else that bothered Henry. What was Eric doing, trying to contain the creature like an animal-lover releasing a fly into the backyard rather than swatting it? What were they going to do, keep it as a pet?

He glanced at Eric. “As for the plan... if the creature puts up a fight we can use self-defense. I’m just saying. We have to prioritize our own lives. I don’t want anyone getting hurt unnecessarily.”

ROSE

Rose’s face fell when Eric explained his drastic measures to leave the Order. She was talking to a ghost; and yet, instead of a chill she felt jealous. Was that all it took? In order to disappear, you had to die. She looked to Henry next. How did he keep this a secret? He was in on this? For some reason, there was a cord inside of her that tied her to the boy even tighter now. He’d kept this secret for a friend for some time. She could trust him blindly. He’d proven it over and over now. She looked back to Eric, eyeing her expectantly.

“Okay. I’m in.” She exhaled, “I won’t tell anyone, but why can’t we kill it? That thing tried to eat Candace and I’m sure it won’t hesitate to take a bite out of any of us! And even if we can catch it, what the hell do we do with it? We don’t even know what it is. I say we kill it and end it all tonight.”

ERIC

Honestly, Eric hadn’t been expecting such little resistance on the whole I’m dead but not bit but he was expecting the push back on not going for the kill. Before the wreck, he would have thought the same thing. It was much easier, anyway. And, they were right. It had hurt someone. It would have probably done a lot more damage than it had if they hadn’t been there to save the girl— to save their friend.

But this Eric was not the same as the one from before. He had lived a life here without ties to the Order just to see what it was like with magic around every corner. Eric had met a load of Magicks, was on a volleyball team with ‘em, checked out their groceries, borrowed one’s pencil during lecture. Hell, he had met a werewolf (twice over) and not gotten killed or bitten either time. It taught him that they weren’t so monstrous as the Order had made them out to be. Yes, magic could be dangerous, but so could Mundus, and they didn’t go around hunting them.

“Look, I get it. I do. You know I do— “ Eric gestured to Henry but still, he shook his head. “But you’re right. We don’t know. We don’t know what it is or why it did what it did. I want the chance to find out. I mean, don’t you? After all this time of learning about how these things are monsters, don’t you want to know why? The Order never told us, they just gave us the weapons and pointed a finger and I think that’s because they never stopped to ask.”

He let out a breath, glancing between Henry and Rose. “My family’s been hunting things like this for generations but I’m only alive now because of one. So— I’m not asking you to risk your lives, if it tries to kill you, defend yourself. But if it doesn’t, if it’s caught and we can contain this, all I’m asking for is a conversation.”

HENRY

So this was worse than Henry had thought. Swynlake had gotten to Eric, even more so than it had gotten to Henry. He wondered if he had failed Eric by not pushing him hard enough. Henry had been so worried about losing his friend, about pushing him away, that he had let him lose all sense of what he had been taught. Maybe it wouldn’t be as easy as Henry had thought to bring him back into the Order.

Henry wanted to hate this godforsaken town so badly, with its quirky magic that lured people into a false sense of security. And then it quite literally bit back. But Henry could see how Eric had been drawn in… Henry had, after all, fallen in love with a Magick. A completely harmless one, of course. But still. How could he hate a place that had given him so much?

It was far too complicated to think about now. One thing was for certain, though: Henry had to keep Eric and Rose safe, and make sure nobody got hurt. Or worse.

Maybe Tom and Phil had been right. Maybe Henry should have left this to the experts.

But this was his plan and he was going to have to stick to it, so Henry just nodded, though his expression betrayed a slight annoyance, a hint of concern. “That’s… noble, mate, but I’m just warning you, I don’t think this thing’s gonna want a conversation. It’s not a pretty one like you might be used to. It’s more beast than human, I’m telling you,” Henry said seriously. “I won’t go for a kill right away, but I’m not going to let anyone risk their life for this thing’s safety. Can we agree on that, at least?”

ROSE:

His words struck a chord in her. Eric was right. The Huntsclan was the same in the way that they gave orders and they were followed. No questions asked and no compassion for the creatures was allowed. It disarmed her in a way that she had been before. She didn’t know what had caused Eric to see the humanity in monsters, but she had also seen it first hand. Once upon a time she’d been in love with one, however those days were long gone.

Rose held his gaze for a second longer than she meant to. She had decided to trust Eric, but showing that kind of weakness to him was a far off impossibility. The huntress kept unusually quiet as she mulled over their options and her feelings about it all.

She was in a weird middle ground. One boy was fully dedicated to the cause, and one was already free of it. And what was she?

Rose shrugged noncommittally, “Fine, you can have a chat with it if you want. I don’t know how much you’ll get out of it, Henry’s right. But I’m with you.” She put a hand on Henry’s shoulder and shared a look. We should let him have this, a silent conversation took place.

ERIC

Henry’s answer had been about what he had been expecting— supportive of Eric but in the end not willing to bend what the Order had taught them.

It was Rose he was worried about. He didn’t know her or her fighting style. She didn’t know him, either, and yet here Eric was asking two big things of her upon their first meeting. The air in his lungs began to burn as he held it in there, waiting for her response, not wanting to so much as breathe in fear that one wrong move would persuade her against him. Her answer knocked it out of him, his slack jawed shock turning into delighted surprise.

“Brilliant! You won’t regret this!” He stepped forward to put one hand on Rose’s shoulder and the other on Henry’s unoccupied one to complete the trifecta, not realizing he was intruding on their moment. Eric grinned at the two of them and clapped their shoulders before moving to look out at the lake. “Now that we’ve got that put away, here’s the plan! You see those boats?”

He pointed to a pair of small wooden dinghies, one with an outboard motor attached to the back. “We can attach the net between ‘em to take out on the water. With the chum we can lure it out and I’ll lead it back to the net, where you two’ll be waiting. Once we’ve got it in the net we can bring it on land and— see how it goes from there.” Eric turned to look back at them, hands formed into two thumbs up. “Sound good?”

HENRY

Henry still thought Eric’s idea was silly, honestly, but he could at least respect the intention behind not wanting just to kill something on sight. Still, Henry was going to reserve the right to attack the minute the creature threatened Eric or Rose. He was not letting any other friends get hurt in front of him. Absolutely not.

He frowned back at Rose, but understood that they weren’t going to get anywhere if they stood around arguing. That was soon interrupted, though, by Eric, and for a moment, Henry thought they looked like a team. Just like old times in the Order, maybe even kind of like Tom and John and Phil.

“Sounds like we’ve got a plan. Thanks, Eric,” Henry said, his tone still just a bit grim. He looked between the two of them. “Why don’t the two of you take one boat and I’ll take the other?” Henry wanted to be in the same boat as both of them, just in case something happened, but he didn’t want to leave either Rose or Eric on their own. At least Rose would keep Eric on task and Eric would be able to draw on his aquatic creature expertise. Still, Henry didn’t like this idea of splitting up. It seemed to be the only way, though.

ROSE:

Rose wouldn’t pretend to know anything about aquatic magicks to these two. It was her own hubris making her act so assured when Phil and Tom had talked to them about the situation. She nodded along with Eric’s plan, but she still felt the same hesitation Henry did. Maybe it was the air of camaraderie; Rose felt like she should be a teamplayer and listen to the boy with the plan. The benefit of the doubt was surely earned.

“Alright, into the boats we go?” Rose wasn’t sure about splitting up, but logistically they needed the two boats for this to work. And the huntress had a few questions for the ‘dead’ Prince that Henry might not understand.

ERIC

He stuck out his lower lip and shrugged, not really thinking it mattered who was in what boat since his plan would be eventually getting into the water anyway so, either way, everyone was going to be on their own at some point.

“Sure, yeah. Get your things, I’ll get the net attached.” Eric smiled, rounding the shed to go drag the big net down toward the dock where the dinghies were tied up. It took him a while to get the net fastened to each of them as he wanted to make sure the knots were secure, but eventually he stood, wiping his hands dry on his shirt. “In we go. I’ll untie you from the dock.”

He pulled the first boat closer for Henry, keeping one foot on the dock and the other in the boat to keep it stabilized while he got in before untying it from the cleat, and giving an extra push. He did the same for Rose, only following in next to her with the cooler before pushing off from the dock. “And Henry, mate, if you see anything just say so! Sound going from air to water doesn’t carry that well so you probably won’t spook ‘em! You’ve not got to shout or anything just—” He waved off the rest of what he was going to say. “You’ve got it.”

HENRY

Henry gave a quick, serious nod in acknowledgement and laid his weapons down in the boat before he started paddling.

It was strange to have Rose here. Even though Henry and Eric’s missions had been Order-adjacent (or, rather, Henry’s subtle attempts to try and get Eric to see how rewarding Order missions could be) he had still felt like he was living a double life. He trusted Rose to keep Eric’s secret, but up until now, it had always been Henry and Eric on these missions. Bringing Rose in brought a new dynamic to things.

“I don’t see anything yet, do we want to search the middle of the lake or head for the river?” Henry asked, glancing at Eric and Rose’s boat. Eric probably smelled like fish after handling all that seafood-- did that make the other boat more of a target? No, he couldn’t start getting himself worked up. “The thing’s got to be out here somewhere.”

ROSE

Rose stepped into the tiny boat and had to balance herself from the slight wobble of it. It had been a long while since she’d been on a small dinghy like this one, but she kept her agility and her wits about her. The water was calm, so it didn’t shift too much under her boot. It was almost enchanting, watching the water. It wasn’t nearly as beautiful as the ocean on the last night of Spring Break, but still, the water did in fact have a siren call no matter the size. If only their weren’t some killer beast lurking underneath the placid surface. After she sat down and Eric and Henry had their exchange, she called out, “I dunno. Damn thing could be anywhere now. I say we go out a bit further and then let it come to us.”

She leaned in towards Eric, now that they had drifted a ways away from Henry. And with a lowered voice said, “How did you do it? Fake your death, I mean… and why?” Her brows knit together in genuine concern and curiosity. “I won’t tell,” she interjected herself, not wanting to sound untrustworthy. “I just, well, dying is about the only way you can get out of these kinds of things. Do you -- do you want back in?”

ERIC

He rolled his eyes at Henry and Rose. This was always how it went with people who hadn’t frequently hunted on water. On land it was different, everyone was on even ground for the most part and it was easier to see the signs of the prey. Footprints could be left in the mud, a broken branch clipped as they hurried passed. Water washed all that away. The earth was forgiving for the most part, leaving those that fell against it alone. Water didn’t care. Humans had crawled their way out of it for a reason. Moving to somewhere kinder.

“Just got to be patient. If it’s here, it’ll show.” But he complied, helping to row the boat out to the middle of the lake where they could idle for the time being. As they worked their way across every so often Eric would reach into the cooler and toss out a piece of chum into the water.

His eyebrows lifted as he looked up at Rose, her questions catching him off guard. Not that he minded. He just didn’t think she would care as they had only just met and all.

“Erm— well it wasn’t exactly something I had planned. I was on a mission for the Order. We were tracking something that had been taking out fishing boats and a storm hit. It took the boat, we all had to abandon ship. Next thing I know I’m waking up, bloody freezing, on a beach watching a pair of flukes disappear into the water.” He paused then shook his head, looking down as he put the lid back on the cooler.

“So, I wondered, if we were wrong about mermaids, what else could we be wrong about? I had the payphone in my hand to call home but I— I dunno. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t go back to them until I knew the whole truth. It’s why I came here.” Eric gestured, turning to look around them, the lights of Swynlake far off into the distance. “I don’t know if I’ll ever really go back. That’s why I want to talk to this thing. I need to know if what we’ve been doing, acting as judge, jury, and executioner, has been right or if we’ve just been going by the words of a bunch of scared people clinging to a world that doesn’t exist anymore until we turn into them and the cycle repeats.”

GABRIELLA

It seemed that Gabriella Marino had a knack for being in the wrong place at the wrong time these days.

Or, really, the past few years of her life. Tonight was no exception.

The call to the water had been playing in the back of her mind over the passing days, only growing stronger the longer she resisted it. All her life she had been able to ignore it with ease, happy with her feet rather than her tail. It was only after spending to much time in the ocean that she had really accepted how much it was apart of her rather than something to be hid away. Now, being away from it for so long, felt like she was taking three steps backwards after only just having taken that first step forward.

She figured tonight would have been a safe bet. Some time had passed since the attack and it was in the dead of the night. Who would be out on the lake this late? So off she went, making her way through the town to reach the bank, where she found not one but two boats out on the water. They were a ways away, the figures within them unrecognizable in the dark.

What the hell? What were they even doing out there? And why did they have to be here tonight of all nights?

Gabriella bent down, walking along the edge of the lake until she had a better line of sight. She watched, confused, as one of the people closed the lid on a white box. With a handle on the top. Was that...a cooler? Seriously? Where they just here to get drunk or something? Hoping that they were at the end of their bender, she decided to wait and see if they would leave soon so that her trip out here hadn’t been a waste.

BRUCE

Bruce couldn’t take it any longer.

After the run-in with the fox-fae, he thought he was done. At least for another month. At least until he could find some way to stop himself from this horrible monthly habit that he just couldn’t get away from. But the hunger returned, not quite satisfied, aching deep in his bones and pulling him toward the water. Not the same as the ocean, but close enough.

At least it was the middle of the night this time. Maybe if Bruce swam out to the deepest part of the lake, as far away from humans as possible, when the other merpeople would hopefully still stay away, he could avoid hurting anyone. It had never worked before, but Bruce had to justify himself somehow. As long as he could avoid blood…

The good news was that Bruce did not smell blood. The bad news, however, was that Bruce smelled something just as pungent: an entire cooler full of fresh bait, right in the middle of the lake, leading a trail to two boats full of unsuspecting uni students.

Suddenly, Bruce only had one thought on his mind, and it was food. It was rare to find so much of it, or to find it so fresh, just sitting there waiting for him. That thought propelled him forward and he rocketed toward the boat, launching himself out of the water and at the man bending over the cooler. His teeth clamped down hard on the man’s leg, drawing blood. All Bruce could think about was his hunger.

ERIC

The stillness was disrupted when something moved. He caught it out of the corner of his eye, a figure moving along the shore, but as soon as he went to see what it was the shadows had taken ownership of them again.

Eric’s brows furrowed together and he stood, trying to get a better angle. Something moving in the water was one thing, but someone spying on them from the shore was a whole other beast that they couldn’t be bothered with right now. He continued to stare at the spot— waiting to see if the person or animal would move again.

When they didn’t he shrugged, reaching back over for the cooler. “Sorry, I thought I saw—”

The water jumping out of the lake cut him off.

The creature bit into him and Eric didn’t scream— not at first. His leg was taken out from under him by the force at which the thing had breached the surface, his head slamming against the side of the boat. The small thing rocked violently, the extra weight throwing it to the side almost to the point of tipping but Eric falling evened it back out on the other side, the wood crashing back down into the water with him. It takes him a few tries to get his vision to work properly so he can see just what the hell was happening.

He could feel the blood, warmer than the sun heated lake water, start to ooze against his skin, into the fabric of his trousers. Could feel the teeth in the meat of his leg, his whole body simultaneously trying to crumble around the point of pain like a leaf caught aflame and yet it wanted to escape, spreading back out thin against the floor of the dinghy.

ROSE

Rose listened to his explanation with an open mind. Her own prejudices were tested since coming here, so she could see how Eric felt about it all. She had dated a werewolf (for a scheme, albeit, but she did fall for him anyway) and Eric was saved by a mermaid. For a brief moment, she wished she could be shipwrecked and gone with the wind. The moment was fleeting, but recurring. Rose had yearned for this before. But this life was all she knew. She was comfortable in that.

Before she could voice her response, she didn’t even know what it would be, the boat rocked. It rocked violently and water poured in, soaking her legs. In a matter of milliseconds, Rose thought they were going under and then they were righted. Only, they had a guest now. The creature she’d fought off once before was merely inches in front of her again. Thrashing and hanging out of the boat.

“Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit, oh shit,” she chanted like a life saving mantra while standing up to get a better angle. Feet far apart to distribute her weight, she grabbed the closest thing to her. An oar, discarded in the commotion of it all. Rose lunged for it swiftly and smacked the creature with whatever force she could muster.

“Fuck, the net! Henry, the net!”

HENRY

It all happened so fast. When Eric noticed something moving in the water, Henry froze, but he didn’t have time to relax again before Eric was almost ripped off the boat and dragged beneath the surface.

“NO!” Henry cried hoarsely, reaching for his sword (it was a good thing he had it this time). He had already mourned Eric once. He was not going to lose him again. In the Order, not in the Order, it didn’t matter, Eric was Henry’s oldest friend. And regardless of Eric’s feeling on the matter, Henry was out for blood. “GET AWAY FROM HIM!” He swung the sword wildly but only grazed the creature’s shoulder, drawing blood. He tossed the net to Rose. She could try to capture this thing if she wanted to. But Henry was aiming to kill.

He raised the sword again, aiming to stab from behind, when he heard more splashing in the distance. Henry hesitated-- if there was another one coming, he wanted to be prepared-- then raised the sword higher and prepared to swing it downward.

GABRIELLA

She froze in her spot, like prey caught in a predator’s path, when one of the figures stood. It felt like they were looking right at her and she knew, if she moved even an inch, she was going to get caught. Her heart picked up speed as she thought maybe they already had spotted her and were yelling, she just couldn’t hear them.

The next few seconds felt like whiplash as she watched on.

The person settled back down. Gabriella relaxed so much she fell back on her ass against the ground below.

Something came crashing into the boat from out of the lake, the boat’s movements aggressive. Gabriella shot up to her feet.

What did she do? Go fetch help from the town? Or would it be too late? Did she try to help them herself? Was it worth the risk, now that she had only barely settled into this town?

All of this overthinking was swept to the side as the glint of metal reflected. Gabriella ran forward until her legs were no longer needed, her tail easily replacing them as it slapped down against the water to boost her forward. The closer she got, the familiar figure of a tail came into view amongst all the chaos. It wasn’t like anything she had ever seen, even in her time spent in the open waters of the sea, but she could recognize a likeness. And if this merperson was like her, in any capacity, then they were going to need help.

She got closer to the surface, around the other side of the second boat. Her eyes widened as she saw the blade of a sword, a sword??, rising into the air. Gabriella swam upward until she could grab hold of the side of the boat, bushing down harsly to boost herself up and grab hold of the wielder’s shirt tails to pull him back, keeping the swing from hitting its target.

BRUCE (tw lots of blood descriptions)

First, the oar smacked against the side of his head, knocking Bruce off-balance and causing him to falter. He released the leg briefly and had just lunged forward to sink his teeth in again when the sword slashed his shoulder and Bruce cried out in pain, a low-pitched groan. He could smell his own blood now, and feel the warm trickle down his shoulder. Hunger still rumbled beneath Bruce’s skin, but it was getting harder to fight.

His teeth scraped the man’s leg as he struggled to hold onto the side of the boat. Bruce was sure he was done for when, suddenly, the figure behind him stopped. Bruce’s head whipped around to see a pale pink tail in the moonlight, and… oh no. Was that a familiar face?

Gabriella?

Bruce had to get out of here. He had taken so much care to avoid revealing who he really was to Gabriella and the entire Whosits and Whatsits staff, and now all of that was in jeopardy. Would Gabriella recognize him? He couldn’t stick around to find out.

Leaving a trail of blood in the water behind, Bruce swam toward the far end of the lake and transformed back into his human form before collapsing on the beach. He could still taste blood on his teeth, and the gash remained on his shoulder, a searing pain. If anyone showed up, Bruce was sure he would look incredibly suspicious. But he didn’t have the energy to go hide. Not yet.

HENRY

Henry swung the sword down, but was pulled off-balance when someone grabbed the back of his shirt. He stumbled, trying not to fall out of the boat. He had been right. Another one. This was worse than Henry had thought. The mercreatures were multiplying.

With some effort, Henry managed to wriggle out of the grip of the creature and turned to see not a shark staring back at him, but a girl. He immediately recognized her, brown eyes and round face, the new girl at Pride U. Gabriella, Henry thought her name was? His eyes traveled behind her to see a long, pale pink tail. How had Henry never suspected?

It didn’t matter. She was trying to drown Henry just like that other creature, and Henry was not going to let anyone else endanger his or his friend’s lives.

“You!” Henry shouted. He raised his sword again, trying to ignore the fact that this was one of his peers. She was a dangerous sea creature, and she had tried to kill him, and Henry had to protect the rest of the town. It was for everyone’s good. “You’ll pay for this!” He lunged forward, rocking the boat slightly.

GABRIELLA

She watched, breathing hard from both the physical strain and the utter relief of seeing the other merperson taking off back into the water. At least they knew when to cut their losses. Gabriella had been about to mirror them and disappear but when the other merperson moved, a new scene was found.

With the girl in the other boat, there was a boy lying in the floor of it. He looked...hurt? Her heart sank into her stomach to create a terrible, painful, pit there. The merperson...they had attacked someone? ...again?

And she had just helped them get away.

She didn’t have time to process everything, to think about the guilt that now made her sick or if this had been some kind of gross misunderstanding she had come across and only made that much worse, the boy closest to her was turning around. Gabriella lifted her eyes to meet his. She knew him. Henry Charming. Vanellope had once warned her that he was someone to stay away from.

Gabriella shook her head, eyes darting to the other boat, trying to communicate that she hadn’t known. She thought-!

As he lunged forward she ducked under the water, the ends of her tail lifting up behind to get her as far away from the range of the blade as she could get.

ERIC (TW: alludes to drowning)

His fingers dug into the lip of the dinghy, hands shaking from the vice-like grip he had on the wood. He could feel bits of it coming off underneath his fingernails but he didn’t care. Eric had seen this happen before. Had watched as someone got dragged below the surface of the water— and he knew he couldn’t let that happen to himself. Not again. With his wound and this thing’s seeming lack of care for his life, there was no way he would come back. All he could do was hold on and trust that Henry and Rose could get it off him before it decided to pull him along with it.

A shout built up in Eric’s throat when he saw Henry’s arm pull back, sword hoisted into the air, even though he knew it would be in vain. As it turned it out, he wouldn’t have to. At first all he could see was Henry stumble back and Eric thought— he didn’t know what he thought, he could barely think at all, but maybe the wobbly boat had made Henry lose his footing.

It didn’t matter anyway. The creature using him for a midnight snack leapt back into the water, leaving the boat to sway heavily in its wake.

Eric sat up then, gritting his teeth as he reached out to his leg. Trembling fingers pressed down on the wound to test and he hissed. And oh god, it hurt. The pain clogged every sense, sight, sound, breathing. It almost distracted him enough to not notice that Henry had started yelling again. The creature was probably circling back around for him, and Eric leaned forward against the side of the boat to— again, he didn’t know. The only thing in his head was help Henry.

Then he saw it.

The flukes, water droplets falling from them as they rose and smashed back down. And then they were gone. That was them. That was her. Just like he remembered because it had been a memory not just a waterlogged hallucination of an explanation that made sense as to why he was still alive.

“He— Hen—” he tried to get out, his breath coming in but not enough. Finally he swallowed everything down and his voice came out in a desperate, pathetic, plea. (And not just for the mermaid, or for himself, but for his friend who was about to kill someone.) “Henry! Henry, no! Please!”

Eric tried to lift himself up, using his good leg and one hand on the side of the boat. But that hand was slippery with blood and the side of the dinghy soaked with water. He put too much weight forward, trying to keep it off his leg, and his palm didn’t catch on the surface like it was supposed to. His body twisted and this white hot snap blinded him for a moment before he went plunging over the side, head first.

His eyes blurred, whole head blurred. He felt like ink swirling in the water— drifting and aimless and slowly diluting. Like the blood he left behind as he sunk lower and lower.

ROSE

Rose caught the net but so many things were happening at once. Henry swung at the creature, causing it to retreat. But then another one appeared? This one shimmered in typical mermaid fashion, unlike the creature they were hunting. There were two of them? Was this creature a mermaid too?

Eric screamed out, startling her more than this already precarious situation was. It wasn’t a cry of pain, but fear. Henry… no… please! Was he— trying to stop him? She could understand wanting to talk to the monsters to see what made them tick, she was a psychology major. But begging for their lives once they’ve tried to end yours is too much empathy for her to comprehend.

He leaned dangerously close to the edge. Rose couldn’t tell if the monster was still circling. She whipped her head around, keeping an eye out on the water. When she turned back, that teetering balance Eric had found ended. She tried to grab whatever she could find purchase on as he plummeted into the black water. “Eric!”

HENRY

“Eric!”

Maybe Eric meant it as a plea for Henry to stop attacking, but Henry only heard a cry for help. Terror seized Henry and he dropped to his knees, gripping the side of the boat and leaning dangerously close to the water. Phil’s warning about Charles Norrington flashed into Henry’s mind. What if this was it?

No. It couldn’t be. Henry would have to find a way. He wanted to jump in and save Eric, but the mermaid was still lurking. What if she tried to kill Henry, too? Rose would be left all alone. He would just have to finish the mermaid off first.

Henry stabbed at the water at random with his sword, fueled by rage and fear. Order training had taught him to stay calm in moments like this, to hold in his emotions and focus on the task at hand, but Henry couldn’t. Eric was his oldest friend. Practically his brother. Henry would not lose him again. “You’ll pay for this!” he threatened, his frustration growing as the mermaid managed to avoid his jabs. “Rose! Help me finish this! Or distract her! Something!”

GABRIELLA

She couldn’t hear all the yelling going on but she had certainly felt the splash, even under water. Gabriella turned to look back at the scene she had just fled, wondering if that other merperson had decided to make their return.

There was a shadowy figure in the distance, sinking in a line that led back to where the surface was fixing itself back over from being breached. The outlines of the two boats were still there. A large part of her still wanted to swim away. What if that Charming kid had jumped in and if she decided to get close again, she would just get shish-kabobbed!

But she had been in this position once before. Had been in the wrong place at the wrong time and watched a boat succumb to the sea. Above had been a violent crash of waves but below the water was still calm and from there she had waited to see what would happen. She had gotten a front row seat in watching as a boy jumped from one of the lifeboats the crew had taken to in order to help someone, only to get left behind. That display of selflessness had moved her forward to catch him before the ocean could truly take him for her own. She had swam him back to the nearest beach she could find, but as soon as he showed signs of life she had high tailed it out of there.

Gabriella, against her better judgement, swam closer to see...a boy, drowning, blood colouring the water in stripes above him. Something slashed at the water from the boats and Gabriella had a moment’s hesitation. Was it fair to the rest of the merfolk living in this town to let him live? These three had probably come out here to kill their kind, judging by the freaking sword on hand. But was it fair to let this one die? He had been a victim, too, hadn’t he?

And would she be able to live with herself if she just let him, when she knew she could do something? The answer was the same as it had been in the frigid water from so long ago. She swam down after him, wrapping her arms around his middle, and hauled him upward, intending on returning him to the boats. But that stupid sword was going in and out of the water.

Instead Gabriella swam them further away, back toward the shore. They broke the surface just out of range of the boats but she continued to carry him, making sure his head was above water as it rested on her shoulder. When they reached the portion where the lake was shallow enough for him to not take on any more water, but still deep enough that she could make an easy escape back to safety, she allowed him to lay back. Gabriella startled when she saw it, a gasp escaping her, hand coming up to cover her mouth.

It was him. The same boy. Same dark curls. Same pale face.

She panicked now, something opening up inside her chest like a black hole. Her hand shook as she brought it underneath his nose to feel if he was still breathing.

ERIC

As soon as he’d hit the water he had tried to get back to the surface. His feet tried to kick but his bloody (no pun intended) leg couldn’t handle the movement, making him convulse and lose more distance between water and air as pain shot up his side. He hadn’t had time beforehand to gather air into his lungs, having not prepared for this, and he had already been struggling to breath properly in the boat. His brain began to panic against his body’s base need— caught between thinking it best to just breathe and knowing that would only kill it faster.

In the end, instinct won out. Eric tried to inhale.

He didn’t register anything else except the always present pain and a distant feeling of moving until he was being laid down on his back. Instead he rolled over onto his side, coughing up the water and allowing air to rush in to take its rightful place. Eric braced himself with a palm against the ground, unsure of how he’d managed to get there. Then he remembered with startling clarity, Henry, Rose, the monster—

A feeling brushed against his skin, that odd sort of sense people had when they felt like they were being watched or like they weren’t alone. Slowly, Eric turned his head to find a mermaid looking down at him. His eyes followed the shape of her body to the pink tail that sat behind her. He pushed on his hand, extending his arm until he was sat up, breathing in short bursts through his clenched teeth as his leg protested doing anything. Blood was still leaking from the wounds, the warmth of it a contrast to the air hitting his wet skin.

Eric couldn’t really do anything but stare at her for a long moment. He felt like he had seen her face before, probably one of the many wandering around town. What an odd thing to think. All this time he had been searching for her and she had been there, right under his nose.

Christ, he needed to say something.

Something caught his eye, off in the distance over her shoulder. Refocusing he found the two dinghies. Henry and Rose.

“Fucking hell.” Eric glanced back at the mermaid and immediately brought a hand up to cover his mouth. “Sorry. Shouldn’t have said that. Erm— my friends, are they alright?”

ROSE:

“What am I supposed to do? Jump in?” She said, with her arms out in annoyance.

He was crazy if he thought she was going to get in the water after what just happened. Rose knew she needed to act fast though. Eric wouldn’t be able to swim with that leg. So she bent down as low as she could go and swished the net around in the water, hoping to catch something entirely different than they’d come here for. Her arms plunged as deep into the water as the boat would let them without tipping over. Something shimmery glinted around the boats and caught her attention. That wasn’t Eric. It was a true mermaid, unlike whatever creature they were hunting. It could also be a mermaid of some sort… but she’d need to do more research.

“Henry, stop! You could hit Eric,” Rose held up a hand. She knew he wouldn’t stop on behalf of the mermaid in the water. But with her face barely inches from the surface, she saw it. The girl grabbed Eric hesitantly and pulled him away from Henry’s ineffective, yet sharp sword. “We need to get to shore,” she said, standing. “Eric is gonna be okay, Hen.”

HENRY

For a moment, Henry had no idea what was happening. Eric was deep under the water, the mermaid was getting away, and Henry was stabbing randomly at the water, as though it would do something, anything. He was just about to jump in himself, try to fight off this mermaid in her own territory (it was a terrible idea but better than standing idly by) when he saw movement under the water. Gabriella had grabbed Eric, she was pulling him away, surely to drown him…

Or…

Could it be? Was she actually saving his life? Eric had said a mermaid had saved his life once before.

Still, one could never be too sure. Mermaids were tricky creatures. Henry was not leaving Eric alone with her, not when she could change her mind at any moment and drag him back into the water (or perhaps that was her whole plan from the start. Henry wouldn’t rule it out).

So he grabbed an oar and started paddling toward the shore, a look of grim determination on his face. “We don’t know that,” he said, rowing as fast as he could. “Why would a mermaid save a man’s life? Out of kindness? These are ruthless creatures, Rose, we have to make sure--” The shoreline started to approach and Henry changed his focus. “You! Get away from him!” Henry shouted. He jumped out of the boat into knee-deep water and splashed over to Gabriella and Eric. “What do you think you’re doing?!”

GABRIELLA

Odd how when the boy finally seemed to suck in air, it felt like Gabriella could breathe again, too. The relief was almost as painful as the pressure that had been expanding in her chest because it left a hollowed out place for the questions of, now what? What would he do to her? And what was she supposed to do now? He was okay, still bleeding and turning the water red around them, but alive for now.

When he stared at her she could only do the same in return, stuck in place with her own curiosity about him. Gabriella couldn’t help the fluch that rose from her chest, up her neck, and into her cheeks when his eyes moved down to her tail. No one but other merfolk, and very few outside her family, had ever seen it. Which was different because they knew what to expect, they didn’t stare like it was some kind of anomaly. But, well, if she transformed back to her legs she figured that would be way more embarrassing!

She watched his mouth move but shook her head when it seemed like he was asking her a question, his expression curious and eyes focused in on her. Gabriella pointed to her ears, hoping that would get the point across that she couldn’t hear him.

She went to motion to his leg, a request for his permission to help, but suddenly the movement of the water changed. The consistent waves were disrupted and she whipped her head around to see the other Mundus approaching. Instinct took over and she made a move to flee.

ERIC

His eyes narrowed as he watched the mermaid’s movements. She shook her head and panic welled up inside him, thinking that was her answer. Rose and Henry were still out there in danger and what the hell was he doing? Sitting around like a lemon. Eric attempted to get up but his leg wouldn’t let him, the nerves fraying when he so much as moved. A disgruntled sound was forced from his throat and his hands went to stabilize it, keep it from getting jostled anymore than it already had. Then he looked up and the mermaid was pointing to her ears, again shaking her head.

“What’s wrong? What is it?” He shook his head at her, the movement slower as his brain tried to process what she was trying to tell him on top of everything else that was going on. What the hell did that even—? “Oh.”

Right. Well didn’t he feel like the biggest idiot.

“Sorry, I didn’t know—” Then, realizing that meant shit all to her, Eric shook his head and tried to think of how to communicate without making a bigger fool of himself than he’d already done. Just as he was trying to make out what she meant by pointing to his leg he looked up to watch Henry and Rose approach, too. The mermaid moved, as if trying to make a break for it, and Eric couldn’t blame her but he couldn’t let her leave. He’d already lost her once, he wasn’t going to, again.

So he reached out, another noise emerging through gritted teeth as he dove forward to wrap a hand around her wrist. He shook his head, pleading with his eyes at her to just stay put. To trust him. Hoping it would be enough he let her go and looked toward Henry and Rose.

“Henry, mate, I’m fine! See? All in one piece!” Eric motioned to himself, choosing to ignore his leg for argument’s sake. “It’s her! It’s her, the one I told you about, it’s her.”

ROSE:

Henry didn’t leave much room to argue. So she didn’t. Instead she followed after him with an equal speed and intensity. Even if she didn’t think the mermaid was going to hurt Eric, he was still in danger of bleeding out on the beach.

When they finally made it to the shore, she saw how close she was to Eric. And he didn’t seem to be scared. Henry jumped out first, but Rose followed right behind. Trudging through the dangerous waters once again. She needed to stop him before he hurt someone who was innocent. “Henry, wait!”

She knew her partner was impulsive and that his friend had just been attacked but she was not his attacker. They could at least afford her the courtesy of leaving her be seeing as she saved him. Maybe the huntress was getting soft. Rose had to raise her feet up to get more speed in the water to catch up. “Henry!” she called out, grabbing his shoulder as he closed in on the ‘threat.’

The girl didn’t look like much. Just a girl, frankly, she looked familiar. And quiet. And sweet. And then it all hit her with Eric’s words. It’s her. The mermaid he had just told her about. The one who saved him then and who was saving him now. “She saved him. You can’t hurt her.”

HENRY

It took Henry a moment. The look on Eric’s face. Rose’s hand on his shoulder. He softened, looked from Gabriella to Eric and back to Rose, and then the weight of it hit him. This was the mermaid who had saved Eric’s life. The one he and Eric had been searching for.

The reason Eric was still alive. Twice, now.

“Oh,” Henry said softly, the fire and fear and anger gone from his eyes now. He couldn’t believe he had been so rash. To think that Gabriella was trying to kill Eric when she was really saving his life-- and sure, maybe it was better to be safe than sorry, but if Eric hadn’t stopped him, Henry shuddered to think what he probably would have done.

He fell to his knees next to Eric and looked into Gabriella’s eyes. “Thank you,” he said seriously. “I’m sorry I-- I just assumed-- but anyway, you’re the reason Eric’s still here, and… well, I don’t know what we could ever do to repay you.” He probably should have paused the dramatics to attend to the massive wound Eric now had, but he was fixated on this. “I don’t understand, though, why? Doesn’t your… your kind normally try to kill us?”

GABRIELLA

Gabriella had every intention of jumping back into the water, already thinking about how she could haul ass out of this town. She didn’t know where she would go, maybe just return to the ocean and hope that her family was still alive in Avalor. She knew it would be a cowardly thing to do, to leave the Princesses here despite having said she would help their cause in getting their country back, and to not say goodbye to the Triton’s, who had been so kind to her, or Finn, or Bruce, or anyone.

But the boy stopped her, his hand around her wrist. She fought to get away, stopping only when she looked up at his face. His eyes were bright and so earnest that he didn’t have to say anything for her to understand what he wanted. She stayed, heart in her throat, and watched as the other two approached.

After a short, albeit very terrifying!, moment it seemed like the other two said something to make the Charming guy settle down. She straightened as he approached, chin lifting a little in the hopes it would hide the fear that was making her stomach turn into knots.

Gabriella held his gaze, glancing to his mouth when he started speaking. She didn’t know what he was saying but he no longer looked like the monster she had seen in the boat. Just another boy, who had probably been as scared as she had been.

And as much as she wanted to extend this moment, to find a way to communicate with them properly so they could get whatever had happened sorted out, there was no time. Gabriella, unknowing of the question asked of her, which was probably for the best now that Charming was within slapping range, pointed to the boy’s leg. It was still bleeding. They needed to get him help.

ERIC

He nodded a little, both agreeing with Rose and trying to encourage Henry to snap out of that all too familiar place. Eric had no doubt in his mind that Henry wouldn’t hurt her and remained relaxed as he approached, knowing the worst of it was over so long as the mermaid made no move to antagonize. (His heart was thumping painfully in his chest, but he assumed this was just the nerves of nearly biting it again and adrenaline wearing off in his system.)

Then Henry started to say stuff and Eric went to stop him, to explain what she just had to him— but he couldn’t when he heard the sound of Henry’s voice against the apology. He shut his mouth, wincing a little from second hand embarrassment but not wanting to interrupt. (His breathing was coming in rapid and shallow. Eric thought he was still trying to catch his breath from having nearly lost it all together.) A hand came up to move the hair that was sticking uncomfortably to his forehead. His eyes cut to the mermaid to assess her reaction, as if willing her to come out with it and put an end to the suffering before it got too far. But she looked— well, she looked kind of like she understood, even if she couldn’t hear him.

Only when Henry asked his last question did he move to intervene. “Sorry, uh, she doesn’t know what you’re saying. I think she’s deaf.” Eric reached forward to clap Henry’s shoulder. (His hand was shaking, the usual weight behind his touch lacking.) “But that was great. Remember that for later when you can write it down for her, yeah?”

He smiled (his face had paled considerably, but he couldn’t see that) and turned to look at the mermaid as she motioned. His vision blurred and he blinked, thinking it was water dripping into his eyes. Ah. Right. His leg.

“It’s not that bad.” He shook his head, waving a hand at her in dismissal of any concern. The movement was sluggish and clumsy. “I’ll be— I’ll be fine. Just need to—” Eric shut his eyes tightly as dark spots danced at the edge of his vision, head going a bit fuzzy. “—sleep it off. Take ibuprofen or something.”

ROSE:

Rose untensed every muscle in her body when Henry softened. She wasn’t prepared to fight him over someone she didn’t even know. Though, she was sure Eric’s endorsement would be enough.

It had to be.

“We need to get him to the hospital, she’s right. Right now. And I know that this isn’t what any of us want, believe me, I don’t want it either… but we need to tell the other guys.” Rose looked at Gabriella hesitantly when she said this. Surely she could read lips. She couldn’t risk giving out names of other hunters to a mermaid, no matter how much they pissed her off. “Eric could have died, hell, we all could have died! It’s bigger than just us now, Hen,” she stepped up beside the boys and lended a hand to Eric.

Looking at the injured one of the trio, “I’m sorry, Eric, but this creature isn’t the kind that can be reasoned with.” Rose was solemn but stern in her delivery. No matter how good some of these monsters pretended to be, at the end of the day they were still monsters. She wouldn’t forget that again.

“Now come on, you need to get help and she--” she sent a pointed look to Gabriella, “needs to get out of here. We can keep her secret, but we can’t protect her.”

HENRY

Henry was snapped out of his poetic moment by the realization that Eric was losing blood. Quickly. He nodded at Gabriella and Rose, then turned his attention to Eric. You weren’t supposed to let injured people lose consciousness. The Order had prepared him for something like this.

He only barely heard what Rose said as he started to get to work. “Right. Sorry. Gabriella, thank you for your help--” It occurred to Henry that he wasn’t sure she could hear him. Blast. Henry didn’t know sign language-- well, he knew a little, being friends with Devyn-- Henry at least knew the sign for ‘thank you’. He signed it quickly and then switched gears, realizing the urgency of the situation.

He looked around for some kind of makeshift bandage, but of course, any supplies were back in the boat. On a splitsecond impulse, Henry pulled his t-shirt off and started wrapping it around Eric’s leg. “Mate. Stay with us. The last thing you want to do is go to sleep, just… keep talking, alright? You’re okay, but we need to--”

That made Henry realize what Rose had just said. He froze, his stomach sinking. Tell Phil? And Tom and John? It was… probably the right thing to do, but after that talk with them a few weeks ago, it was the last thing Henry wanted to do. “Wait, I’m sorry, Rose, did you say we need to tell the other guys?” A wave of anxiety hit him. “Maybe we can just-- everyone’s fine. Eric’s going to be fine.” He shook his head and went back to wrapping Eric’s leg.

GABRIELLA

Gabriella shot the boy, perhaps she would start referring to him as ‘Tonto’ it seemed fitting, when he shook his head. Seriously? Did he have some kind of death wish?

To say she was surprised to see Charming using sign to express gratitude would have been an understatement. It always made her feel some type of way to see someone sign, no matter how little their vocab knowledge, but to get it from the guy who had only just been trying to stick her through with a sword? Couldn’t really put a name to that feeling.

She glanced back and forth between him and the blonde girl as they seemed to talk to one another. This was one of those frustrating moments being deaf, surrounded by hearing people who couldn’t properly talk to her and in a situation where there was no time to do anything else but leave her out of the know. She didn’t know what they were discussing but time was running out for Tonto, her anxiety building up enough for her to turn back to Charming and start to get his attention again. Only then he went to take his shirt off, and, yeah Gabriella was completely lost as to what the-

Oh. She blinked as she watched him apply it to Tonto’s leg. He was helping.

Gabriella wanted to go with them but first she needed to get back to her clothes. She was already embarrassed enough having shown not one, not two!, but three Mundus her tail. There was still some dignity to be left. Only, how did she communicate this?

Tentatively she reached forward for Tonto’s hand. It was too cold, just like it had been the first time. And, like the first time, he was going to be okay. She squeezed his palm and hoped he would understand what she meant when she looked at him. I’ll be back. Then her eyes moved to Charming with a bit of a harder stare and grabbed his hand, too. She put Tonto’s into his and let go. I’m trusting you with him.

With a curt nod to the girl she pulled herself back into the lake and swam off, tail splashing down on the surface.

ERIC

“What’d you mean?” Eric’s face scrunched up at Rose. “It stopped trying to kill me, didn’t it? That’s— that must count for something.”

It was a very odd feeling, the one that was taking residence inside him now. The adrenaline was leaving and something else was coming in to take its place. He felt pissed but without the warmth of the alcohol— he’d just lost all functionality. Eric Andersen really never thought about what he said before it came out of his mouth but now that filter was completely gone. His brain was too busy working on keeping its systems running to pay full attention to all that.

He squinted when Henry took off his shirt and then snorted, his head lulling back heavily. There was an attempt at a low whistle but when that didn’t work he said, “Wa-heey! Oi’, come— come on mate, why’ve you got to show me up?”

Eric turned to Rose, tapping at her to get her attention like he was a school boy all over again, wanting to tell her a funny story about Henry he’d just remembered because, hey, they were all friends now, right? Only he couldn’t get it out in time before Henry moved his leg and Eric let out a startled yell. A hand shot out to punch down against the water to meet the lake floor.

“Fucking hell! Yes! Alright! I’m talking! Happy, are you? Bleeding christ—” He cut himself off when Henry did, eyebrows jumping up. Mirroring the mermaid, his eyes bounced between the two hunters, confused. “Other guys? What other guys—?”

Then the mermaid reached forward to take his hand. Her touch was warm. Such an odd thing. Fish were usually cold, he had always expected mermaids to feel the same way. The look she gave him seemed to be some kind of promise, one he was too out of it to really process before she’d replaced her hand for Henry’s. But the warmth was dragging something else into him, up from his chest, all the exhaustion, all the cold. Feeling Rose and Henry’s touch were such contrasts to the burn beneath his fingernails, the cuts on his face, his leg— the cold, and underneath all of it. Exhaustion that had soaked the blood from his veins and left him light-headed and half dead.

Once again, he watched the mermaid swim away, but this time, he knew she was real. He gripped Henry’s hand and brought the other one up to wrap his fingers around Rose’s arm.

And, this time, he hadn’t been left alone.

#we’re gunna need a bigger boat: shark week part iv #charmedhenry #thehuntress rose #brucewhite #gabriella marino #tw: violence #tw: drowning #tw: blood #tw: slashing #tw: biting

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spoonielivingfree · 3 years ago

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Taking Chances//Chapter 3

Jac spent the weekend in bed. The headache overwhelming. Nausea and dizziness so consuming that Emma had brought the sick bowl into the bedroom and looking after her mother. Jac did contemplate calling Jonny to take Emma as he had moved back into the area but she didn't want him to think she was too sick to look after Emma. That may end in Jac losing Emma again and she didn't want that when there may be so little time left. Anyway, he was working all weekend and was taking Emma from Monday. She didn't want to unnecessarily disrupt him from his life over a bad migraine. "Heavy weekend," Sacha asked on Monday morning, walking into the hospital at the same time as Jac, who had sunglasses on. Jac gave him an icy glare, not that Sacha could see behind the sunglasses. "I wish." She responded. It was just the tumour symptoms. "The tumour is giving me migraines." "You should be at home resting Jac." "I'll be fine. I'm not cutting anymore anyway. I can hide in the office if I need to." She said as they got in the elevator, Sacha noticing Jac wobble and hold into the wall. "Ever so fine." He said sarcastically. "Shut up Sacha," Jac replied. Sacha walked her to her office despite much protesting once getting out of the lift, worried about how wobbly she seemed and not wanting her to have a fall. Jac took her sunglasses off once she was in her office and could control the lighting, getting on with work, having to run to the toilets to vomit. "Everything okay?" Max asked, hearing sounds of someone vomiting when she came out of the cubical she was in. "It's me, Max," Jac said before vomiting again. "Jac are your Anti emetics not helping?" "What do you think?" She replied harshly. Flushing the toilet, slowly getting herself up and out of the cubical. "Oh Jac," Max said. The make-up didn't hide how much she was suffering. "Have you been keeping fluids down?" "Yeah. I'll be fine." Jac responded. The last thing she wanted was for people to make a fuss and send her down to the ED for fluids. "Okay, well I'll prescribe you some ondansetron. Might work better." Max responded, looking at Jac. The surgeon looked really unwell. Normally she would only prescribe it as a last resort Or for cancer patients as it was one of the more expensive anti-sickness medications for the NHS, but she knew she could justify a bit of leeway for Jac to be prescribed it. "Thank you," Jac replied. She still felt sick and planned to work reclined on her office sofa to help ease the extent of the symptoms. But at least now she'd thrown her breakfast up she should be able to get a few uninterrupted hours of work in, and it was Jonny's week with Emma so she could go home and sleep after work. Chloe paged her when a patient had an emergency. Eli wasn't responding. He'd said something about needing a longer lunch break to go off hospital premises. "We need to operate immediately." "Okay. You need to take the lead though and remind me to hire another cardio-thoracic surgeon." Jac knew she really shouldn't be operating but right now there was no choice. Her and Chloe were currently the only two cardio-thoracic surgeons on the ward right now. Everyone else either had a day off, was on the night shift or on their lunch break. Darwin definitely needed an extra pair of hands now Jac shouldn't be operating. "Uh yeah, sure." Chloe responded, knowing the tumour symptoms were clearly going to remain too bad to safely lead a surgery. Eli came down to the theatre once he was back from his lunch break. "Do you need me to take over Jac?" He asked. She seemed okay but he knew he should check to make sure everything was in fact okay and she shouldn't really be in theatre with a symptomatic tumor regardless. "All under control." Jac replied. Eli watched from outside the theatre, standing by incase she suddenly needed him to step in. Fortunately she was okay and left Chloe to close. Jac leaned on the sink after scrubbing out. "Are you okay?" Eli asked. "Yeah. Just a little pre-syncope." Jac replied, praying it would pass. "I'm going to get a wheelchair." "I

don't need a wheelchair Eli. Just help me back to my office." She hadn't yet fainted as a result of the tumour and new it would stay at pre-syncope so she could walk. It'd just be hard. Luckily with Eli's help and the length of time she had spent working on Darwin meant she could navigate the corridors back to her office even with her vision blurry and ears ringing from the pre-syncope. Eli complied, not wanting to argue with Jac over her health and got her laying down in her office, checking her blood pressure and sugar. "When did you last keep something down?" He asked, noticing her sugars were low. "If you mean something other than water and electrolyte tablets I can't remember." "Okay, I'm going to get you IV glucose." "I don't need an IV, Eli. Just get me a juice I'll be fine. I'm not that low." Eli sighed and got her some orange juice. "If you can't keep it down or it doesn't help you need something more though. No arguments." "Okay, mum." She replied sarcastically, sipping at the juice. "Don't you have real patients to see?" "Going to see them now Jac. If you need me for anything let me know." He replied, leaving her office. Jac went home early to have the video call with Amelia in private. Not wanting to tell everyone that she had decided a surgical route yet. She left the hospital and drove herself home. The pain in her head was coming back and her vision was going. She had to pull over until it passed, taking another tablet and applying a topical treatment to her head. She was relieved to get through the door safely and in time for her call. She knew she needed to think about not driving anymore but she hated public transport and ubers every day would add up more than her pride would allow. The call with Amelia went well. She wanted copies of all her previous scans to assess growth and set a feasible yet realistic date for surgery with Jac. Once she came off the call she got a phone call from her daughter, saying goodnight before going to bed herself. It was early for her but the tumour had been exhausting her between her eye muscles overcompensating for her deteriorating vision, the extra concentration needed to do basic tasks and the nausea and vomiting. At least Max prescribing her ondansetron meant she'd been able to keep food down that evening.

#holby city #Holby city fanfic #Greys anatomy #greys anatomy fanfic

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veiledpeaches · 4 years ago

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chance encounters | part ii: i just want to be untangled

Summary: Between pages of meddling friends and societal expectations, all she actually wants is to find a happily ever after with Doyoung, even if it feels like that is no longer possible.

part i x part ii x part iii x part iv x part v x part vi

word count: 3.5k

GIF originally posted by @lukhei

Johnny’s laugh rings loud and infectious in her ears, and Haewon squeezes her eyes shut as the glare of the morning sun shines into the passenger seat. She had forgotten her damn sunglasses. They had left their apartment at barely eight in the morning, but the sun was relentless nonetheless. It’s still too early to think, and Johnny hasn’t even had his morning coffee but he remains energetic as ever, his pink aviators jovially perched on the bridge of his nose.

“He really said that?” He turns to pull down the passenger seat visor for her, “that the kid won because of how he looks?”

“There’s no way something like that could win!” Haewon mimics, “the emotions are too raw and the writing is too unrefined. He doesn’t even know his tenses!”

Johnny erupts into raucous laughter once again, “he’s such a literary snob! I swear, for someone who preaches about discovering young authors’ works and all that future generations stuff, he’s a hell of a hypocrite.” Johnny’s shoulders are still shaking from laughter as he shakes his head.

Haewon smiles, “well, he’s thorough.”

“That’s what makes him so attractive to you, isn’t it?” He turns to wink at her playfully, but his face falls into concern when he hears a long sigh escape from her lips as she sinks deeper into her seat.

“So how’re you doing there kiddo?” He’s deliberately being generic, but Haewon can tell what he’s referring to.

She inhales deeply, and then lets it go.

“I don’t know,” she replies truthfully.

“It’s a month and a half to the big day,” Johnny softens his voice, slowing down to switch lanes. “Doyoung told me you haven’t RSVP’d yet.”

They don’t say the word ‘wedding’ in their conversations anymore, not since they got their invitations in the mail and Johnny watched her sink into their couch, her shoulders bunched and jaw tightened. Because Haewon doesn’t cry – not sober, anyway – and Johnny doesn’t have the heart to ask her to let it out, knowing how obstinate and prideful she can get about her feelings.

Three years ago, in a conversation with Mama Suh, Johnny unintentionally found out that his childhood friend was planning a move to Seoul. Upon further probing, it seemed that she had left a difficult relationship two years ago and really needed a change of scenery. While she’s only three years younger than him, Johnny has always felt protective over the shy girl who likes to read and who used to live two houses down from his, and had reached out to her without qualms. A month later, a place and a position was ready for Haewon.

What Johnny wasn’t ready for, was seeing the look on her face when Doyoung dropped off some food from Mama Kim at their house – that expression that revealed that she had fallen too deep and too fast, before Johnny had told her anything personal about Doyoung.

“What would you do if you were me?”

“I wouldn’t go. You don’t have to do this to yourself, Haewon.” Johnny clucks his tongue, signaling a left turn to the driver behind. “He’s just your boss, you don’t owe it to him. Just make something up.”

That’s true, she thinks. After all, he’s just my boss.

And in a couple of months, maybe even something less.

Finding Doyoung in a sea of dark-haired, frustrated travelers isn’t easy, so Haewon is thankful when she hears his voice saying her name. She swivels around, and Doyoung is standing in front of her, hair down in a natural center parting with the biggest, silliest grin on his face. Haewon thinks he’s most breathtaking like this; his striking brown eyes and the slope of his cheek catching the light in the airport as he smiles handsomely, and Haewon can’t help but smile back. She doesn’t usually get to see him like this, in a green shirt tucked under blue ripped jeans and a white denim jacket pulled onto him, complementing his wide shoulders.

“I knew you’ll be lost,” he teases smugly, “you hate crowds as much as I do.”

She laughs, unzipping her bag to hand the file over to him. He looks through the documents quickly, humming as he counts the papers in his hand before stashing it in his Valentino crossbody.

“Will there be someone waiting for you at JFK?”

He nods, “yeah, the company is sending a representative. Don’t worry about me! I’ll see you next week…”

A familiar face catches her eye and Haewon thinks she sees Doyoung’s fiancée standing a few feet away from them, smiling radiantly at the person next to her. She’s surprised, finding something strange about seeing Inhee here but being unable to put her finger to it. It doesn’t register in her brain that Inhee was only supposed to be back the following Sunday until another figure steps into her line of vision and wraps his arm tightly around her shoulders.

Haewon’s feels her blood run cold. She vaguely hears Doyoung saying her name, but is unable to respond as she all but drags him towards the departure hall without a second thought.

He’s frantically asking her what is wrong, but Haewon can’t seem to hear him against the thumping of her own heart. She doesn’t want to believe what she had just seen, but the scene flashes in her mind repeatedly, each time clearer than the last.

“You can’t be late for your flight, boss!” She fakes a laugh, “I’ll see you when you’re back!”

Doyoung still looks befuddled and unconvinced, but he gives her a smile and wave as he enters the departure hall obediently, checking the time on his watch.

She watches his silhouette become smaller and smaller before he completely disappears into the crowd, her mind whirling with images. She doesn’t forget the way crippling fear had flashed in Inhee’s eyes as she watched Haewon pull Doyoung towards the departure hall, her lover’s lips still in her ear.

Doyoung hadn’t been interested in dating in high school, until he met Inhee in his last year. According to Johnny, Doyoung’s mindset towards high school had been different from many others. He saw high school as a transitional phase, a time to try out as many things as possible and fill up his portfolio with accolades before university. He was student body vice president, chief editor of the school magazine and a short distance runner on the track and field team. He was far too busy dealing with entrance exams and early college applications, until Inhee came into his life.

Inhee was the president of the dance club and obnoxiously popular, acknowledged for her good looks and good heart. And unlike his schoolmates, perhaps Doyoung would never have even given her a second glance at that point in his life, if she hadn’t slipped him her number after his event on their school’s sports day.

The first time Haewon formally met Inhee was three years ago on Valentines’ Day, a month after she joined Dam-il. Johnny had already informed her of Doyoung’s attached status, but she couldn’t put a face to the name – until Inhee walked by her desk with a big beautiful smile, all red Lancôme lipstick and smelling like Chanel, into Doyoung’s office and encircled her arms around his neck, planting a generous kiss on his mouth.

(“She kind of looks familiar,” Haewon had whispered to Yuta on the phone that day after Inhee had lowered the blinds around Doyoung’s office and locked his door. “I feel like I’ve seen her somewhere…”

Yuta had scoffed into his phone. “Like, on every, single, Korean Air poster?”)

Inhee is difficult to hate – this is something Haewon had quickly gleaned after a short interaction with her. Her beauty is dizzying, her confidence making her even more charming without making her appear conceited, and she takes care of Doyoung so well. She is constantly showering the office with late afternoon snacks, visiting Doyoung for lunch on days she doesn’t have to fly. And while she hates books and anything to do with writing, and they don’t arguably have that much in common, she has always supported Doyoung in his career to a fault.

Haewon wishes she could hate Inhee, but she makes him so happy.

(Sometimes, on nights she feels particularly petty, Haewon counts the number of compatible traits she has with Doyoung, comparing it to that of him with Inhee. Truthfully, she does this to comfort herself, wistfully hoping to feel less pathetic given the knowledge that these things don’t matter when they all know who has Doyoung’s heart.)

“You have to tell him.”

Haewon looks up from her plate in surprise, meeting Johnny’s eyes. After Haewon had blurted out what she had seen at the airport, Johnny had fallen awfully silent, concentrating on the road ahead of them and only asking factual questions. Haewon had never seen him so serious before, watching his expression morph from disbelieving to crestfallen as the news gradually sunk in.

It had taken four hours and a whole pot of fettuccini for Johnny to say something.

She looks at him for a moment, twirling the pasta with her fork and making endless bolognese sauce circle patterns.

“Don’t get me wrong – I think he should know. But you don’t think that would be overstepping? It’s not really any of my business.”

“I’m over it.” Johnny comments abruptly, until he catches Haewon’s judgmental look. “I meant the betrayal. I’m over it. She’s not my fiancée, I’m not going to invest any more of my emotions in this.

“But practically, have you thought about this? If she can cheat so close to the wedding, do you think she’ll stop even after?” Johnny’s voice is low and measured. “God, I’m so glad I RSVP’d no. I don’t think I’d have been able to stomach it, especially now knowing this.”

Unlike Haewon, it had only taken Johnny two days to respond to Doyoung’s wedding invitation, citing an emergency company conference happening in London. This hadn’t sat well with Doyoung, at least not according to what Haewon had overheard when she had reached home a little earlier that day.

(“Look, why on earth would I want to miss your wedding, Dons?” Johnny had been facing the living room window, his grip firm on the windowsill. “You’re- No, you don’t need me there, Doyoung, I am one person. You’ll have your whole wedding party there, all your high school friends and your entire family. You won’t even realize I’m not there.”)

Johnny has never been the biggest fan of Inhee – an opinion he has never hid from Doyoung since day one. While likening Inhee’s personality to an annoying yellow cartoon character, Johnny had been frank with Haewon about his inability to hold back from cringing at how extraneous, overblown and unnecessarily exuberant she is. To top it off, her fiancé happens to be practically Mensa level intelligent, while Inhee…

(“I was telling Doyoung about a new accounting system the company had decided to adopt, how I had thought that it was offered to us at a price that was too good to be true,” Johnny had recounted to Haewon at dinner one night, “and he told me maybe we needed to kick the tires on that offer first.”

“And she went,” Johnny had started to imitate her voice and gone up to a vocal inflection that was uncalled for, “oh, maybe you should kick the trunk too!’”

Haewon had almost choked on her dinner.

“I thought to myself, ‘what about kicking the bucket?’”)

The hilarity of his condescension aside, Johnny has always been at least respectful to Inhee, an implicit understanding of their respectful roles in Doyoung’s life at the forefront of his interactions. From her understanding of Johnny, she had been pretty sure that the reason he had given was legitimate, that he wouldn’t intentionally miss Doyoung’s wedding for any reason, but now there seems to be room for second guessing.

“I don’t know, maybe I misjudged the situation-”

Then she saw the look on Johnny’s face.

“Okay fine,” she picked at her food, “but I can’t ruin their relationship.”

“You’re not ruining their relationship; the relationship was ruined the moment she decided to cheat! You’re doing him a favor, you’re-” Then he realizes. “You’re projecting.”

“What?”

Johnny gnaws at his bottom lip, turning ideas over in his head. “You know what I’m thinking?” He continues when she doesn’t reply. “I think you want to tell him, but you think that the part of you who wants to tell him is the same part of you who’s in love with Doyoung.” He sighs. “That’s the real reason you can’t tell him, isn’t it?”

“Yes, but it’s not just that.” She takes his empty plate, scooping more pasta for him.

“The whole time we were in the car, and then back home, I’ve gone over so many scenarios in my head, of how this situation may turn out. The conclusion is always the same – he needs to know.

“I don’t need to be the person who tells him, but if I were in his position, I would want someone to tell me. Even if she ends it – which I really hope she does – it’s unfair to him if he doesn’t know that there was a time her heart didn’t belong to him. It is definitely cruel, but far less cruel than the idea of living in an illusion.

“It’s just that… I can’t think of a way to tell him without hurting him.”

Her phone rings, saving her from the conversation with Johnny, but his eyes are steady when he mouths to her “we’re not done” as she picks up her phone.

“It’s me.” The voice on the phone is quieter, gentler and wearier than ever, but undoubtedly belonging to Doyoung’s fiancée.

“Hi Inhee.” Johnny’s head whips up, his eyes widened.

“Can we talk?” She asks for them to meet later in the afternoon, then tells her that she would text her the details. Johnny has a resigned smile on his face when she puts down the phone.

“So it was her you saw at the airport.” He says lamely.

“Seems like it.”

“At the risk of sounding presumptuous, I’m just going to say what we’re both thinking – that if Doyoung had met you before he’d met her, we wouldn’t even be having this conversation. If he’d met you a bit earlier, she wouldn’t even have been an option.”

Johnny’s loyalty is touching, but not especially helpful in light of the present situation, when she’s faced with the quandary of meeting Doyoung’s fiancée at a café two hours later. Even across the street, she can see her perched against the window of the café, wringing her hands nervously. Her hair is brought up into a high ponytail today, and she looks stunning in a baby pink tweed dress and short white boots.

Inhee’s gaze meets hers as she crosses the road towards the café, pursing her lips together as Haewon smiles casually back.

“I got Americanos for both of us,” she blurts immediately when Haewon pushes the door and the wind chime tinkles brightly.

She takes a deep breath. “I’ve seen you drink cups of them every day.”

“Thanks.” Haewon pulls out the chair and takes a seat.

It’s close to a minute later before Haewon speaks again. Clearly Inhee isn’t going to broach the subject, but she refuses to either. “Cool nails.”

This brings a small smile to Inhee’s lips. “Thank you.”

The waitress arrives, placing hexagonal marble coasters down onto the table and then the drinks onto the coasters. Haewon sips on her coffee, looking at the way the patterns converge on the coaster.

“I won’t make this long, I have a flight to catch…” Inhee gestures towards the luggage sitting next to her, pressing her lips together. It doesn’t take a genius to know that she was meeting her thick-lipped lover.

“Did you… Did you tell him?” Inhee’s voice is softer this time.

Haewon looks up at her, watching flecks of fear dance in her eyes, and shakes her head.

Inhee nods her head and inhales, as if expecting this response.

“Are you… going to?”

She licks her lips and places the coffee back down onto the coaster. “I don’t want to, but yes if I have to.”

Inhee let out a laugh with an edge. “Of course you would.”

“What do you mean by that?”

She scoffs quietly, lifting her gaze slowly, her lips pulling back to resemble a scowl and her jaw tightening. Haewon had never seen her like that.

“You think I don’t see the way you look at my fiancé?”

Haewon swallows, unable to reply.

“Kang Haewon, I know that you’re in love with Doyoung.”

Haewon concentrates on her breathing, falling silent in favor of Inhee’s calculated monologue.

“You're not fooling anyone. You are constantly around him, you’re close to Johnny-”

“I’ve never tried to do anything.” It’s like a dam has broken, and the words rush out of her mouth before she can stop them. They’re not the wrong words, they just seem self-centered, like she’s attempting to justify herself when there’s a relationship independent of her that’s at stake.

“I’m just saying, don’t factor me into the equation. It’s always been professional. It’s my job to be around him, and when it’s not, when he wants to be around Johnny, I always excuse myself.”

There’s something cruel about being so self-righteous as the lips and hands of her boss’ fiancée tremble uncontrollably, but Haewon lets her words cut through. It feels like with every word, she’s slowly regaining the breaths that had been stolen from her all these years. She watches as something hard darts around in Inhee’s eyes, the same eyes that reflect her own rigid posture.

“He was attached even before I knew him, and passionately in love. I could never take that away from him-”

“You don’t think I know that you’re the reason Johnny isn’t coming to the-”

“You flatter me too much.” Haewon chuckles humorlessly, tucking strands of hair behind both her ears. “So is this why you asked to meet? Because if this is it, I would like to leave.”

She gets up from her seat, placing way too many bills that the coffee could be worth on the table before turning to leave, but stops short at Inhee’s next statement.

“Things haven’t been okay for a while now.”

Even as she sits herself back down, Inhee’s gaze remains far away from her.

“Doyoung works late every night. We hardly spend much time in the same room anymore. We don’t even talk anymore, about our lives and our work.” Something occurs to her, and she lets out a laugh somewhat verging on hysterical, “do you know we haven’t had sex in four months?!”

She looks at Haewon, like she’s searching for an answer she knows she can’t give her. And Haewon, she tells herself not to avert her eyes as Inhee squeezes her hands together. The whole scene feels vaguely invasive, bearing witness to the chipping of a stranger’s carefully polished veneer.

“You don’t need to tell me this-”

“I kept telling myself it’s wedding jitters, but…” Inhee bites back a cry, “I think he doesn’t love me anymore.”

She bursts into tears, shaking and crying into her hands. It’s like the glossy, rosy façade of the airline poster girl is slowly being lifted off, the remains of an embittered, desperate shell of a person sitting in front of her.

Haewon doesn’t know what to do, but can’t find it in herself to completely retract from the situation, so she pulls her chair towards Inhee, not even blinking when Inhee throws her arms around her and sobs even more mournfully.

“I know I don’t deserve to say this… but I just love him so much. I don’t want to lose him, Haewon, I’m so scared.”

“He’s my whole world, he has always been…”

It feels like hours later when she leaves the café, hailing a cab for a broken-hearted Inhee to take her to wherever she might want to go. She feels the tell-tale buzz of her phone in her pocket, knowing instantly that Johnny must have grown impatient of waiting for her update on this meeting.

But as she checks the notification banner on her phone, as her brain wraps around the curves of the letters forming the name of the email sender, her heart almost skips a beat.

Nothing, however, can prepare her for the first line she reads on her locked screen.

Congratulations! I am delighted to inform you…

w/n: last week’s update was intentionally postponed to this week; there will be regular posting (shifted to Saturday, 11pm KST) from now on.

also, I’m sorry for my long and sometimes convoluted sentences. i try my best, but we all know fic!doyoung would never give any of my work a second glance tbh. unlike the young author, however, i willingly apologize for my tenses.

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