#i should definitely make a list

[babypetri]

Wherever i look there is always something about ADHD. I look at what people saying their ADHD symptoms and honestly most of them fits me. At this point I'm convinced that i have ADHD too but i hate self diagnose i have to see psychiatrist. I should make a list about my symptoms and problems and why i think maybe i have ADHD, social anxiety and maybe eating disorder and mayhaps anger issues. I mean there are a few thinks made me thinking maybe autism too but like i said i hate self diagnose.

[wizardsix]

I can't be the only one who thinks it's so lame that spite ultimately had 0 effect on lucanis whereas the writers made anders suffer for just wanting to live.

[tempestmothstorm]

crazy how the sanshee plush is one of the few actual direct confirmations on what a non-act 2 Natsuki’s home life is like because of how cagey she is on literally everything. Like this isn’t anything surprising or something you wouldn’t be able to extrapolate from the games but unlike everything else we know about her the implications are right there on the tin.

They literally did the character bio trope where where all the likes are normal but the dislikes are about their very specific trauma it’s just so funny they did that on the plushie card

[seiwas]

SEL MY SEL …….. crawling over here for the ask game …………… you already know . who i’m going to ask for phdkdjdkdb IN MY DEFENSE I WILL NEVER GET OVER YOUR VERSION OF HIM !!!!!!!

….. sugu ….. with ’sun’ ……. maybe 👉👈

(🍵 <- a little matcha for your troubles … good luck with the writing exercises my loveee <33 i’m cheering you on!!!)

ARI 🥹🥹🥹🥹 hehe ofc i shall write sugu for u! writing him is always so fun 🥹 thank you for the prompt, and for the matcha!! i will be sipping it as i write this 🥹 it is not a trouble at alllll!! esp if it's for youuuuu 🫶

contains: beautiful, gorgeous, sexy neighbor suguru, mood can be a bit unsettling... honestly a little stockholm syndrome-y (does this count as dark? idk 😭), skewed concept of reality and time

suguru + sun

you move into a new neighborhood on your 24th birthday.

it's a quaint house, fully furnished with wooden panels lining its contemporary build. you consider yourself lucky for finding a place this well-kept at the price point you offered. you're honestly surprised that suguru, your now landlord, accepted your application.

the area sits a few kilometers on the outskirts of the city, but it feels neither too quiet nor too busy; a perfect balance with an impressive view of the rising sun this early in the morning. that, and the people seem friendly, greeting you as they pass by. they even offer to help you haul things out of your car and into the house.

to the right of your house is one that holds the same design elements at yours, although a bit darker in its tones. it's sleek and modern, befitting of a bachelor.

"you must be the new tenant," a voice speaks from behind you, syrupy and smooth. you didn't even hear his footsteps.

when you turn around, you're met with a tall man who greets you with his arms held behind his back as he tilts his head low. there's a calmness that radiates off him, a sort of gentleness that signals he’s someone you can trust.

you nod, introducing yourself with your hand outstretched towards him.

"suguru," he replies as his fingers grab yours delicately. your eyes widen in surprise, recognizing the name, and he merely chuckles in return, a soft laugh that brings out kindness in his eyes.

"i should greet you properly," he lets go of your hand, placing it back behind him. "hello, new neighbor."

.

over shared breakfasts by your porch and impromptu dinners over at his, you grow a liking to suguru. he's polite and thoughtful, often knocking at your door in the mornings to offer you a cup of tea to watch the sunrise.

"you'll only find sunrises like this here," he leans back on the wooden chair you set out as outdoor furniture. his head tilts towards you slightly, impossibly close as you notice the corner of his lips curl up into a small grin.

hues of pinks, purples, and orange blend to illuminate his face perfectly. the sun is beautiful in front you, peeking between clouds as it inches away from the horizon, but something about him is infinitely more magnetic. your stare is immediately drawn to his lips, smooth and supple, before it meets his gaze.

you don't know what's worse―wanting to lean in or be pulled by the look in his eyes.

he fixes things that break in your home, always somehow knowing just when to show up. at first, it was your windows, the one by the attic, too high and dangerous for you to climb; then, it was your kitchen sink, its pipes regurgitating the water going down the drain. he's begun to bring you your groceries too, often asking for a list of what you need when he makes trips out of town.

your days blur easily when you're with suguru, and time passes almost fleetingly as you find your hours filled with soft laughs and touches so delicate you sometimes wonder whether they're real.

it should be noted, you think, how much time has passed since you first met him―an anniversary of some sort.

.

you learn that he owns both houses―his and the one you're currently renting. it once belonged to a friend who had to move for bigger, greater responsibilities elsewhere, he'd said.

"why did you decide on renting?" you ask him one night, over wine and candlelight.

your fingers fiddle with his as he sits you on his lap, this thing between you growing more intimate lately. he rubs his thumb along your thigh, resting his chin by your shoulder.

"you could have sold it or something."

he presses his lips gently on your collarbone.

"i could've," his fingers trail up to your waist, crossing your chest before landing on your chin, cupping it lightly to face him. your heart is hammering in your chest, senses on fire as his nose kisses yours. you think you can count every mole that dots his face beautiful. then, he inches closer, lips grazing yours as he whispers, "but i was waiting for you."

.

you mark each day at sunrise.

your digital clocks and calendars stopped working after some time, but you don't mind. suguru always tells you what date it is when you ask.

this morning, you wake up in his bed, and the sun is still as breathtaking as you remember it, the same pink, purple, and orange hues streaming through his window. when you look closely, the clouds―

"good morning," he brings you tea in bed, his hair topped off with a bun, a half-up-half-down.

your stomach fills itself with something warm and fuzzy as you smile at him, "morning."

"slept well?" his hand reaches for your waist under the duvet, and you giggle, ticklish.

"very," you crane your neck to land a soft kiss on his lips. "what date is it today?"

"october 28," he supplies.

your eyebrows shoot up as you realize, "i have to bring my car to the mechanic."

it's been 6 months now since your last check, right before you moved, and though you barely use your car anyway, it's best to be safe.

you quickly move to get up but suguru's hand keeps you in place, firmly pressed on your waist.

"i'll do it," he says with a smile on his face, "you rest here."

.

you barely see your other neighbors except for the girl who smokes a pack of cigarettes a day and the twins down the street.

when you ask suguru about it, he dismisses the question quickly, saying, "must have moved," as he urges you to take another sip of your tea.

you dream of them that night, on bare streets; it wakes you in a cold sweat, the image of your neighborhood reduced to just your house and suguru's.

.

this is the 200th sunrise since you started counting, which means this is the 200th day since you and suguru officially got together. kind of.

your gift for him is a painting of the sunrise, because it reminds you of him; and because it's become your favorite thing to look forward to, too.

the pinks and purples blend together beautifully as it contrasts with the orange hues, and the sun continues to peak above the horizon as it settles between clouds.

suguru kisses you when you give it to him, the taste of tea right on his tongue.

he frames it on his bedside, and when you wake in his room the next morning, it greets you along with the back of his head, fast asleep.

your eyes flit to the view outside his window, the same pinks, purples, and orange hues. you tilt your head curiously, brows furrowing. the sun stays at the same spot above the horizon, and when you look at the painting again, the clouds hold the same position and shape.

a chill washes over you, your hearbeat pounding.

.

"what date is it today?" you ask suguru as you wash the potatoes in the sink.

another bag of groceries from suguru. now that you think about it, you don't think you've ever gone to the grocery store since moving.

"is it important?" he responds, slightly snappy. you've begun to notice that he hates it when you ask lately.

you eye him from the side.

"i was thinking of preparing a menu of what we'll eat during the holidays, if it's near."

the furrow on his brows smooths out as you give your answer, and so he says, "december 5."

and you know something is wrong, because that can't be it. it doesn't make sense with the sunrises you've counted.

.

you dream again, more and more as the days go by―dirt roads and your house and suguru's, run-down and empty. more things start breaking in your apartment, and suguru always knows when they need to be fixed.

there's a deep, twisting feeling in your stomach that intensifies, festering under your skin; it worsens in the mornings, when you sit with suguru at your porch and you think you see a crack in the sunrise.

.

sunrise valley the place where the sun never sets! ─── beautiful, bright, and destined for people who live just like you! find your new home here.

[DISCONTINUED] — FOR DEMOLITION ON DECEMBER 7. under investigation for suspicious spiritual activity and missing persons.

[burinazar]

Birthday Completed.. Am Thirtey Twoe

[angelsdean]

truly i think the best genre of song is "songs that most definitely played in the background of some early 2000s show, possibly with an actual guest musical performance by the band" like just something abt them.....ping deeply in my heart. and shows just aren't doing musical guests like that anymore. and we are worse for it.

[sieglinde-freud]

project of insanity finally done. i can play the game now

[maulfucker]

time for clones

[wavernot4love]

HELLO MCR WORLD tbp tour is Real and Terrifying oh the jersey show support (death cab AND thursday) goes so crazy but i know it's gonna be so hard to get tix ..... what Do i do

oh this is a great day in mcr history regardless

[age-of-moonknight]

After Midnight. Marvel Superheroes: Official Game Adventure (Vol. 1/1990), pg. 29.

Designer: Anthony Herring; Editor: Mike Breault; Illustrator: John Statema

[paigemathews]

Continuing our battle royale for s4!

[vampstel]

You make very cute personas, but umm what exactly is a persona, is it some made-up character or a character that's made to represent yourself? Because I wanna make a persona, but I don't actually know what it is or how to make one😭

I understand your confusion so much 😭

I used to not know what a persona is or how to even make one since it’s such a fluid(?) word. The meaning of it just differs from person to person so there’s no strict rules set in place for creating them. But the basic gist of it is it’s meant to represent you.

How it represents you is entirely up to you. If you want to create a character that’s an identical copy to your real life self, that’s a persona. If you want to create a character that doesn’t look like you at all but you feel strongly connected to them/identify as them, that’s a persona. If you want to create a character that resembles you in a way, but is an idealized version of yourself, that can also be a persona.

There are endless choices when it comes to how you represent yourself in a character. That’s where most of the struggle comes from when creating personas and it’s such a hard topic to tackle and give advice for since, again, it all depends on you.

Really, the only thing I can say that helps me with making personas is trying to visualize who I am and what parts of me I want to show online. Like I ask myself questions such as:

Do I have any traits that stand out?

Do I see myself as a different species? Whether literally or just for fun?

Are there any interests that I want to show in my character design? Any clothes that I like?

Should I keep most of my real life physical traits or should I go completely fantasy?

Do I show my flaws or should I just create an ideal version of who I am?

It all sounds very overwhelming but when you start writing down the things you like and the traits you think are most memorable about yourself, creating a persona can be easy. But if you struggle with your sense of self and, in my case, correlate your identity to your interests and your interests change a lot, it can be extremely difficult and it’ll take many retries to create a persona that sticks.

Don’t be afraid to experiment. I feel like that’s the best advice I can give you. Don’t stress on making a perfect persona because your identity will always be fluid in some kind of way. You’ll change as you grow and learn and that’s the best part of having a persona because you can see that change whenever you create a new one.

As for experimentation… You can have multiple personas to show multiple sides of you or your interests. You can have one persona that’s extremely versatile so they’re easily changeable or fit all your traits. You can have one persona that just fits the biggest part of you you think is memorable. Just go crazy lol

Me personally? I decided to go down the “I’ll just fit all my interests in one character” route and it’s how I made Niko. I got my biggest interests such as dolls, bunnies, and fantasy and put them all into one messy conglomeration and so far it’s been working really well for me. But that may not work for you.

Creating a persona is honestly a journey of finding yourself, in a way. Especially if you’re a creative. Don’t rush it and just go with the flow :]

BTW: There’s another definition of persona which is essentially the “mask” you show in public. But that’s a completely different conversation and isn’t really needed unless you wanna become a professional in your line of work :P

[howtosingit]

Brian I have a nice ask day ask if you wish to answer it 💜 can you pick your top 5 Rafa on screen scenes and rank them? impossible question I know. but I believe in you!

Okay the thing is I did want to answer this immediately but it absolutely crippled me with doubt 😂 so I'm just gonna do it quick like ripping off a bandaid so that I can't overthink it anymore. Also not going to rank them because I'll spiral, so you're just getting 5 great ones:

The first interrogation room scene in 2x08 (but also all Carlos and Gabriel scenes this episode). The constant shifts in Carlos as he puts things together and realizes why Gabriel's there, the heartbreak of him thinking he was doing what his father always wanted, only to disappoint him again... at the time, this was the strongest scene LS had it its arsenal (WE STAN AND MISS TONYA KONG FOREVER AND ALWAYS) and it remains one of the best ones. It's so compelling and amazing to get to see the Carlos and Gabriel dynamic on display for the first time. This episode was a game-changer and I'll never shut up about it.

It's probably cheating to say all of his work in 4x18, so if I had to pick a scene from that I would say his talk with Owen where they toast Gabriel. My only problem with it is that it's so short, but Rafa packs every fucking thing he can in there, beat for beat, and it's beautiful. His delivery on "and forget about it?" but also all the lines leading up to that. The man is fucking hollow and crushed and lost and MY GOD RAFAEL. He's so skilled at what he does, knows exactly what he's doing every time. It's sublime.

Fine, another 4x18. Carlos's vows. I'm not gonna explain that one, the man is fucking beautiful and his heart is beautiful and he puts in on display publicly for what was probably the first time in his adult life, and it's stunning.

I love the scene in 3x13 where Carlos meets Cooper. Rafa is such a brilliant comedic actor, he uses every tool at his disposal, he understands his craft so well, how to use his body and face and voice to delivery great work, he's such a standout. I adore him. I could watch that scene for hours. Also, he is really fucking distracting in those clothes.

I'm gonna pick the fire in 2x12. And I'm gonna pick it because honestly the intensity of that scene, the life-or-death stakes, the absolute devastation and destruction of it, they are fully delivered by Rafa's performance. Like, Carlos's fear is what drives the scene, and Rafa's work sells it. And I'm also going to pick it because he's shirtless and so fucking hot. I'm gay, it's true. Have fully never recovered from it. And I'm also going to cheat and say the scene continues into him crying and TK holding him. So, like, obviously a top 5.

I'm sorry I have to include it I know I already picked 5 and I refuse to cut any of them but the 3x04 scene deserves to be in here and I'm mostly talking about the montage scene where TK wakes up and Carlos is forced out of the room and then his mom is there but then he fucking gasps the breath of a dying man who has been saved LIKE HE BASICALLY SAYS NO WORDS BUT MY FUCKING GOD, THE PERFORMANCE so I'm listing it and you can't fucking stop me Lola YOU CAN'T

anyway I just really love an actor who has honed their skills and studied their craft and dedicated themselves to approaching each scene in a fresh and honest way and I'm just really fucking happy to get to watch Rafa do it so thanks for letting me rave about him Lola you're a real one ❤️

[eatmy-customjorts]

they 100% pierced their ears together (at least once) no questions asked

fully inspired by a headcanon from @kittytheartist !!

[thsc-confessions]

I see Burt is the person you might see him as apathetic since he's not the one who wears his heart on his sleeve, but he's actually a pretty sweet and caring person once you get close to him <33

Aawwww :)) yea he seems like a cool guy

[skania]

Do you think kana would be perfect for aqua once he tells her everything and heals from his trauma? Kana is light his bright shining star and kana long term crush on aqua will be a good payoff for once. Akane will probably see that kana is best for him and help them get together? I see fans theorize on this and I want to hear your opinion

I typed a reply to this and Tumblr lost it! 😭

I'll also replying to these here because they're all Aq/Kan related:

I'd also like the chance to clarify something. I'm not here to convince anyone that Aqua/Kana won't happen! It could very well happen! A part of me is expecting it to happen,not because it'd be the best outcome but because it's the most predictable one lmao

So yeah, I'm not here for that and I'm not interested in doing so either. I'm here to talk about Akane, Aqua and AquaKane and all the reasons why they won me over and why I personally find them much more satisfying!

Forgive me for the PSA anons, I'm answering these but I need to redirect my agenda to the ship I actually ship lmao

To summarize what I wrote before Tumblr ate my reply, of course there are theories like those because it's the most obvious reading of the manga. If you take every Aqua and Kana interaction at face value, it's natural to come to that conclusion. And they could very well be right, maybe Aka is subverting expectations by making us think he is above going for the obvious, only to do exactly that. It's possible! The ships in Kaguya were blatantly obvious, too.

Except. And here is the big thing. Aka has already written a character that approaches love in the same way Kana does. This character is Maki. She was in love with a boy but never did anything about it. The consequence? The boy started to like her best friend and pursued her. What did Maki do? Nothing. The boy and her best friend started to date, a casual relationship turned to love, and Maki did nothing but mope pretty much exactly like Kana. Was Maki's love rewarded at the end? No, because Aka portrayed her inaction as wrong.

Now, the main difference between Kana and Maki is that Aqua may very well be into her, too. But the rest of the picture remains the same: lack of action from Kana, a complete lack of development between them, etc., while Aqua and Akane have gone through like 10 different relationship stages in that same amount of time, growing closer each time.

So which road you find most rewarding depends on which road you personally think has been more developed in the manga. Same goes for whether you think Kana would be perfect for Aqua; I think that at the surface, the manga wants the reader to get that impression. But is she really? Kana is too naive. Whenever Aqua manipulates her, she blindly falls right into it. She wears her heart on her sleeve; this may be refreshing to Aqua, but it also puts Kana at a clear disadvantage because he knows exactly what to say and do to get her to react exactly how he wants her to. Would theirs be a relationship between equals? Right now, I'm not sure I can see it.

But you know what? It's actually impossible to know how Kana would fare around Aqua, the whole Aqua, because we have simply never seen it. Aqua's darkness has always been kept from her. And the scenario you're painting here involves a perfectly healthy Aqua, but he may never be like that. I am definitely hoping he heals and I'm sure he will heal, but that won't magically erase everything he has gone through. Is Kana equipped to deal with that? Maybe, maybe not. We won't know until Aka actually allows her to see all of Aqua.

So all in all, my thoughts are that it's kind of pointless to worry about this. You either enjoy Aqua/Akane's dynamic more or you don't. There isn't a right answer, it's subjective.

I have no thoughts about this lol Akane was just trying to reassure Aqua, she had no idea that Aqua had never done emotional acting before because at this point, she was only getting to know him. Akane isn't the type to force her way through without first having a clear understanding of what is going on inside the person.

Once she sees how he acted in the past, Akane figures it all out and gets to the heart of the matter. What does Aqua act for? Why does he want to act in the first place?

And she doesn't settle for Aqua not giving her a straight answer.

Ai was Ruby's light too. Was Ruby in love with Ai?

In this manga, being someone's light doesn't have to be romantic. Now, I'm not saying Aqua's feelings for Kana aren't romantic; like I've said a bunch of times, the in-your-face reading of the manga is that they are.

I'm saying that Kana being Aqua's light doesn't automatically mean she's his one true love, because being a light for someone isn't an inherently romantic concept in this manga.

As for whether Aqua was "forcing" himself to think he would be better off with Akane...

Aqua dated Akane because he wanted to and he stayed with Akane because he wanted to; because she did him good. Aqua's actions show a dedicated boyfriend who literally calls his girlfriend every night.

But Aqua's happiness was built on Aqua deliberately turning his eyes away from the truth about Kamiki. Rather than face the music, Aqua ran away. Same goes for his bond with Kana. Instead of having a honest talk with her, Aqua let his trauma get the best of him and simply cut her off his life.

I think deep down, Aqua was aware that he was running away. But by running away, he was able to spend his days in relative peace. So even when Gotanda spelled out the truth to him, Aqua couldn't find it in himself to stop running.

Of course, this is only part of what weights Aqua down during his "freedom" period. I believe another thing that weights Aqua down is that he hasn't told Akane that he is Goro. Despite all the truths he has told her, he is still hiding this from her, and we know for a fact that he sees this as him "deceiving her."

All of this, coupled with Aqua's inherent trauma which shapes itself into thinking: Do I even deserve to be happy? shackle Aqua to the past he is desperately trying to run away from.

But this is such an interesting topic that it probably deserves its own post lol