#i should be asleep rn but fuck it we ball

[underhills]

hello!! the jjk brainrot is driving me insane so i'm braving the tags in search of longterm writing partners.

a little about me! call me bones. they/them. 21+. pacific timezone. i write on discord with preference to private servers. adv. lit, predominantly multi paragraph. favorite tropes: angst, hurt/comfort, enemies to lovers (or vice versa), found family, horror, realism, dark themes. dead dove friendly, but not required. my activity: i'm on discord daily but i work long night shifts consecutively so there may be a stretch of a few days where i'm quiet. i'm open to canon, canon divergence, and aus. i do like having multiple threads including in character dms if in the modern setting.

what i'm looking for! only 18+ writing partners. pairings are the following with italicized muses my preference. all students aged up to 20s+. i yap a lot ooc so i do like to befriend my roleplay partners.

satoru & suguru.

sukuna & megumi.

megumi & yuuji.

shoko & utahime.

alternatively other pairings that are m x m / f x f / canons only where i can write the italicized characters. <3 if interested pls just interact w this post or message me, ty!!

[dani-the-toad]

“i like junko enoshima bc shes evil for the sake of being evil” is literally one of the most annoying statements in the world and tells me a.) you dont understand who she is as a character and b.) you dont have basic reading comprehension because what the fuck are you on about

[iiseult]

hey ik you have a lot of requests rn but could i get a King Baldwin NSFW alphabet at some point? thxx

Nsfw Alphabet: Baldwin iv x reader (drabble (?))

Note: I feel like writing smut about him is gonna get me sent to hell but fuck it we ball! Also I know everyone is about to be real mad at me for not focusing on high noon sunlight but I'm annoying so I need to write short drabbles and stuff like this first to help me flesh out his character

CWs → smut, leprosy, general cringe, AFAB reader, historical inaccuracies

A = aftercare (what they're like after sex)

• He would immediately fetch something to clean the two of you up. He wants to make sure you're comfortable and ready to turn in for the night, because you're not going anywhere now.

• He needs you to stay with him and talk, so he can be sure you are a real person really love him as much as he loves you. Finding someone like you, who's willing to love him both emotionally and physically, was hard enough. There's no way he'll ever let you go now.

• He likes falling asleep to the sound of you reading to him. Since he usually doesn't allow for much cuddling for fear of infecting you, it's enough to be lulled to sleep by your pretty voice.

• If he does break down and let you cuddle, he prefers to be the little spoon as the two of you fall asleep. He craves the feeling of your face pressed into the crook of his neck, your warm breath tickling his ear.

B = body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

• He doesn't have very high self esteem, and there aren't many parts of his body he'd say he "likes," per se, but the most tolerable to him is his chest. It's the largest part of his body unaffected by rash or sores.

• Since he is somewhat athletic, what with all the horseback riding and sword fighting, he is well-toned. His chest is sturdy and broad, perfect for resting your head on (or bite if you’re freaky like that 😛)

• His favorite part of your body is either your waist or your hips. He doesn't often get possessive (mostly because he doesn't feel worthy of possessing you), but holding you by your hips is the most intimate thing he can imagine. Feeling your curves with his own two hands and sliding his fingers over your supple skin until they come to rest around your waist is his subtle, gentle way of telling you who you belong to. And his hands are large enough that his fingertips almost touch when he holds you around the middle.

C = cum (anything to do with cum)

• He's afraid of his cum touching you. He worries it will somehow infect you or render you infertile, since many people still believed leprosy to be an STD. Therefore, he always pulls out and does his best to clean you up, should you come into contact with it. To him, you are so pure that he simply can't risk soiling you. He doesn't mind pulling out even though it can be so tempting to release inside of you, because no earthly pleasure is worth compromising your health.

• On the other hand, he doesn't mind your cum at all. He found it fascinating the first few hundred times; proof that you were genuinely feeling pleasure by his own hand.

• He would admire the glossy shine dripping from his fingers and then taste it slowly, no matter how flustered it made you. He doesn't find it unsanitary at all, like some men do. Plus, you always taste so good.

D = dirty secret

• As much as he would like to deny it, Baldwin is just like any other man, and he experiences sexual urges from time to time. Since he's so young and has been repressing himself for so long, it doesn't take much to turn him on.

• All you have to do is look at him the right way. Or any way, really. Your eyes alone are enough.

• The smell of your perfume does it, too. It's almost like a pavlovian response. If you spray some on his pillow or his clothes while you’re away, he’ll go insane, plagued by incessant thoughts of you that can only be held at bay by finishing himself off.

• Also, he wishes he could get you pregnant so fucking bad even though he knows it can’t happen. But if he had one magic wish, he would ask to be able to raise a child with you for as long as he can.

E = experience (how much experience/skill they have)

• Literally zero. He’s never had any sexual experiences with anyone else, and what he’s done with you is already far more than he ever expected. Everything he knows, you learned together. On the bright side, that means you can teach him to do everything exactly the way you like it.

• After a bit of time together, he’ll develop the necessary skills and become a very generous, devoted partner. Granted, you’ll have to show him what to do at first, and how to make you feel good, but he’s a smart man, and he’ll catch on quickly. After a simple demonstration and a few questions, he’ll start acting of his own accord.

• What he wants above all else is to please you; his own pleasure is a secondary concern. This may stem partially from his physical insecurities, and the fact that he couldn’t imagine anyone else touching him for so long. But it’s also because he loves you.

F = favorite position

• Cowgirl. He prefers to be on the bottom because it’s not as strenuous, but rest assured, he still contributes plenty. His absolute favorite is when you sit on his lap so he can put his face in your chest and grab your ass while you ride him. Usually it becomes more him thrusting up into you as you get tired of bouncing.

• This position also allows him to look up into your beautiful eyes as he penetrates you, which is often the final nail in the coffin for him. As soon as you gaze down at him with your messy hair framing your face so nicely, he feels himself twitch and has to pull out quickly, releasing hot ropes of cum onto your ass.

G = goofy (are they more serious or silly in the moment)

• Serious. He’s very romantic, and every single time, he reminds you how much he loves you. His feelings for you are not something he takes lightly. Additionally, he believes sex is a somewhat sacred act you should only ever share with your wife or husband, so it’s special to him every single time.

H = hair (how well groomed they are)

• He has pubic hair, but it’s soft, blond, and not very noticeable. Of course he’s always very clean and freshly washed, and often he will plan to bathe and apply fresh bandages to his body before spending the night with you.

I = intimacy (what are they like romantically in the moment)

• It’s unsurprising that he’s extremely sweet and loving during sex, since he’s like that normally, but it becomes even more pronounced. He just wants to be close to you.

• His favorite feeling is when he completely bottoms out and can feel his tip kissing your cervix. He loves burying his cock as deep inside you as possible and then holding that position, as strenuous as it may be, letting you feel every tiny twitch and pulse.

J = jack off

• After so many years of pent up sexual energy, it’s hard to close the floodgates once you open them. On nights when you sleep in separate bedchambers or are not together for some reason, it’s pretty much guaranteed that he’ll be fisting his cock for hours to the thought of you. Sometimes he’ll even practice using a pillow.

• Every single time he’ll feel guilty and embarrassed, trying to get it over with as quickly as possible, but it’s never enough. As soon as he felt you for the first time, felt himself sinking into you as your tight pussy stretched and squeezed him like nothing else ever had, it was the only thing he wanted for the rest of his life. The initial shock of pushing his swollen cock between your walls always draws a gasp from his lips, and it can’t be replicated, no matter how hard he tries.

K = kink

• Praise kink. Definitely. Especially when it’s about his appearance. He’d never heard a woman speak about being sexually attracted to him before you, and had always assumed they found him abhorrent. Actually, he’d grown accustomed to it and stopped being bothered by it at a certain point. So, every time you tell him what a pretty boy he is, it catches his off guard and makes his stomach erupt into butterflies.

• Complimenting his broad shoulders or tracing his abs with your delicate fingertips makes him blush so bad you can practically see steam coming from his ears. His eyes cloud over and he’s honestly one “good boy” away from actually drooling. ‘Cause he only really wants to make you feel good, and hearing the proof is the best reward.

• Hearing your moans also counts as part of this because it makes him feel strong and confident.

L = location (favorite place to do it)

• Bed, duh! Where else is fit for his queen?

M = motivation (what turns them on)

• Kisses. Even if they’re innocent. Even if you kiss him on the cheek because you’re in public and can’t do anything more. God forbid you kiss him anywhere else. Immediately, he gets hard.

• Kiss his neck and he’ll melt into jello in your hands.

• Kiss his collarbones and he’ll start getting a little desperate, grabbing you anywhere he can and rutting his hips into you.

• Kiss his hipbones and he’ll beg you to stop teasing and just touch him where he needs you, ‘cause it hurts too bad.

• Kiss his inner thighs and he might even whine. He’s used to getting whatever he wants, and teasing makes him so deliciously frustrated.

N = no (something they wouldn't do)

• He’s pretty vanilla, so most kinky things would probably be a no for him, but degradation is especially offensive, especially when it’s him degrading you. He hates the idea of speaking ill about you, his precious wife, the absolute love of his life, the woman he was head over heels for the second he met you. It wouldn’t make sense to whisper anything other than sweet nothings to you.

• He also wouldn’t enjoy being degraded. Even if he logically knows it’s all an act, it would get to him. He doubts himself and his sexual skills a lot since he doesn’t have the same physical abilities as other men, and hearing anything that might confirm his doubts, serious or not, turns him off. It makes him wilt like a sad flower. ☹️ Don’t you love him?

O = oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill)

• He prefers giving! He thinks you taste like candy and loves hearing your desperate moans as he laps at your clit. He doesn’t mind at all when you start squirming and basically fucking his face. Anything for his princes, or, more accurately, his queen.

• He loves it when you finally cum and drench his entire face and chin. He’ll make you watch as he licks his lips.

P = pace (fast or slow? gentle or rough?)

• Slow and gentle, but deep and effective. He takes his sweet time with you, closing his eyes and allowing his body to do what comes natural.

• His touch is so soft and feather-light when he caresses your chest and thighs. He always treats you like glass.

• Every stroke is an intentional, fluid motion, never choppy or rushed.

• He kisses you softly the entire time, pressing his pillowy lips all over your bare chest and neck. And to your own lips, of course.

• Sometimes he holds your hand.

Q = quickie (their opinion on quickies, how often)

• He doesn’t know what that is, nor would he ever participate in one. Sex is meant to be fully enjoyed in private, in his opinion.

• Every time you sleep together, he pulls out all the stops, setting the entire evening aside to prepare. He makes sure the bed is clean and decorated with plenty of plush pillows and blankets, lights extra candles, draws the curtains, sends away the servants, and messes with his hair in front of the mirror until it looks satisfactory.

R = risk (do they experiment?)

• To an extent. He has definite boundaries that he will not cross, but if something sounds like it aligns with them, he’ll be eager to give it a try. It wasn’t so long ago he was being taught how to fuck, which was somewhat of an experiment itself.

S = stamina

• He doesn’t get overstimulated very easily and can go for pretty much as many rounds as you want. He barely even needs to stop between them, his refractory period is super short. Basically, as long as you’re in front of him, he’s hard. It’s literally so cute how much he loves you and your body.

T = toys

• It’s literally the dark ages baby we ZONT have that

U = unfair (how much they like to tease)

• Sometimes when he’s eating you out he likes to hold your hips flush to the mattress with his hands, not letting you buck against his face and effectively edging you. He thinks it’s cute to watch you get frustrated and whine his name. If you do, he’ll raise and eyebrow and ask what you want, pretending like he was born yesterday and doesn’t know good and well that you want his warm tongue back on your throbbing pussy.

• The teasing can’t last too long, though, because he’s a big softie and can’t stand being anything other than completely gentle with you for long periods of time. <3

V = volume (how loud are they, what sounds do they make)

• Not too loud volume-wise. Lots of soft, quiet grunts in that smooth voice of his. If something you do catches him by surprise, he lets out a little yelp, which is more high-pitched and breathy. When he cums, it draws a long, rumbling moan from deep within his chest, and leaves him breathing heavily. While he fucks you, he lets out little puffs of air.

• If you tease him enough, he’ll get desperate and whine a little, but it’s pretty rare.

W = wild card (random hc)

• He’d be an ass man for sure. Not that he doesn’t enjoy your tits, too. He just has a weak spot for a nice ass. Yours just fills up his hands so perfectly that he can’t help but cup it in his palms and massage gently. If you’re laying on your stomach, he plays with it sometimes, fascinated by the way it jiggles when he nudges it.

X = x-ray (what's going on under their clothes)

• It’s big. Like, 8 inches and just girthy enough that your fingers can touch when you wrap your hand around it. He doesn’t know what to do with all that, honestly. He knows it’s kind of big and it actually embarasses him.

Y = yearning (how high is their sex drive)

• Oh baby it’s bad. He wants you. You’re the only one he wants. Every time he sees you he gets little hearts in his eyes and has to bite his lip to stop the impure thoughts that are plaguing his mind from taking over.

Z = zzz (how quickly they fall asleep after)

• Not too fast, usually you have to read to him or rub his back for awhile before he sleeps. Even though his body is physically very relaxed after releasing all that tension, his mind is still going a mile a minute. He has a lot to worry about as king, and putting those thoughts to bed is sometimes easier said than done. Thankfully he has you to help him out.

[humongousgothskeletonfarm]

chapter 6 thoughts: (spoilers ahead!)

oh. fuck.

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he was king. now he’s a martyr.

holy shittttt

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aftg really brings us all together, this is random but i love talking to other fan accounts about the books

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anyway fanfics will no longer have to speculate when rikos funeral was, and if kevin attended or not (or if he had a mental breakdown about it)

also neil u have no tact babe and i love u for it

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oh renee ur so lovely ur so insightful (neil u should listen to what she has to say)

jean and his ‘i won’t grieve him’ ❤️🫶

- ‘promise me’ jean said with a desperation that should have kill him, nathaniel didn’t hesitate, ‘i promise’ SHUT THE FUCK UP I LOVE THEM THANK U NORA THIS IS EVERYTHING I WANTED FROM THIS BOOK

THE SWAP FROM NATHANIEL TO NEIL IS JUST AS POWERFUL FROM JEANS PERSOECTIVE IN TSC AS IT WAS IN FROM NEILS IN TKM I LITERALLY CANNOT THE PARALLELS ARE KILLING ME

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it’s 1:40 am and i’ve just made a cup of tea to keep myself awake

feeling many things about jeans perusal of the fox photo wall and taking renee’s picture

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i know these motherfuckers aren’t accusing neil kevin and jean of abandoning that cunt and leading to his ‘suicide’

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WE ARE THE RIGHT PEOPLE I THINK JUST NOT THE RIGHT TIME (look i am admittedly not a jean/renee shipper but good god they are so sweet in this)

A COOL EVENING BREEZE AND RAINBOWS

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screaming as silently as i can rn

- petition for someone to put summertime sadness on the jean playlist

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whattttt is the mystery about jeremy’s family?? what is this fabled fall banquet that tore his family in half im so intrigued i have to know more

ALSO JEREMY IS IN THERAPY AND HAS SOME SORT OF FAMILY ISSUES I KNEW IT IM SURE THATS ON A BINGO SOMEWHERE

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jeremy dad of the trojans checking to see that they’re safe and also cody first cannon non binary character??? pls say yes

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accidentally fell asleep in the middle of my planned all nighters whoops it’s currently 7 am

chapter 7:

“I like to indulge,” Jeremy said with a dimpled smile. ​Kevin’s words mocked him in the back of his thoughts: “Some of them you like.”

i did. notice this in chapter 2 or whatever but is this?? are we getting jerejean???? that’s what this means righ??

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jeremy wdym ‘oh to be the pampered elite’ u have a butler??

jean defending kevin saying he’s earned the right to be arrogant be still my beating heart i love these stubborn mother fuckers

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He was years away, watching a different beautiful boy lean in close to say, Will you teach me when he’s not watching? It could be our secret.

STOP IT RN

chapter 8!!

flicked him a sly look. “Easy on the eyes, maybe.”

AHHHHH!!!

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also so glad that there’s 100% confirmation cat and laila are dating (shared bedroom!)

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the description of laila and cats lounge room is so soft and cozy im so jealous i wish i was there

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barkbark von barkenstein u will never top sir fat cat mcatterson (although props to nora for always having simultaneously the worst and most creative names for pets)

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jean telling cat she’s a good player but misses every ball at her hips is literally every raven! (someone) fic ever come to life where they meet a relatively normal other team and have absolutely no tact or awareness of what others considered rude and immediately tell the other players what their weaknesses are (i’m obsessed)

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“Yes,” he said, and if he didn’t sound sure, he at least sounded angry. “Let them all burn. I hope none of them survive.” BABY I LOVE U IM SO PROUD OF U UR SAFE NOW FUCK RIKO FUCK THE RAVENS FUCK THE MASTER

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“Oh, he’s good. A bit rude, but I like him. I think we’re going to be good friends.”

i’d say the exact same thing

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*jeremy giving jean the keys*

well it’s not andreil levels of drama and symbolism but love a good comparison

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or they do not care enough about her wellbeing. It’s unforgivable either way.”

giggling a bit over jean being up in arms about boba knowing that he’d be seriously unimpressed with me if he knew how much boba i drank

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he wants to know what it was for

AND WHAT IF THAT LINE BROKE ME NORA?? AND WHAT THEN??

The Ravens had given up everything to be the undefeated champions, only to be destroyed last month by a tiny team from South Carolina.

I CANT DO THIS ANYMORE

“Loving something is not enough,” Jean told him, right on cue. ​“When is the last time you enjoyed playing?” Jeremy asked. ​“Irrelevant,” Jean said. “I am Jean Moreau; I am perfect Court. I do not need to enjoy it to be the best backliner in the NCAA.”

that was what Jean felt safest in, Jeremy would back his decision wholeheartedly.

LITERALLY LEAVE ME ALONE

chapter 9999

also i’m so glad that we have jeremy/laila/cat friendship like in fics and stuff they were always best buddies coz they were the only trojan characters named in the books but it’s great to see they’re actually good friends in cannon

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“I need you to listen to me for one moment,” Laila said, “and I need you to believe me when I say it. Fuck Coach Moriyama.”

AGREED AGREED AGREED FUCK THAT CUNT

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COOKING LESSONS WITH JEAN THIS IS THE WHOLESOME CONTENT I SIGNED UP FOR

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cat talking macronutrients and promising to help with his diet so it’s still familiar but more fun in order to begin healing jeans relationship with food is so important to me

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nora bleaching jeremy’s hair blonde after telling us she was shocked we all headcannoned him as blonde while she thought he was brunette is so funny to me,, don’t worry fan artists u do not have to change a thing!

(frosted tips made me giggle too, jeremy u pussy)

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“Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?”

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chapter 10

jean learning basic household chores like sorting and washing clothes and deep cleaning the apartment and learning his way around a supermarket <3

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LAILA CAT JEAN FRIENDSHIP IS REAL

Afternoons were filled with whatever the women were in the mood for that day, be it wandering downtown, shopping, or combing through estate sales.

Jean went where they took him because it was better than being left in the house alone,

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COOKING IS HEALING JEAN ITS A COMFORT THING SHUT THE FUCK UP THIS IS EVERYTHUNG HES SO REAL FOR THAT

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Ravens graduated; they didn’t leave.

fuck if that didn’t just stop my heart

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i definitely should have been more wary of the trigger warnings. if anyone is wanting to read the book but is worried about certain parts, i’d be happy to let y’all know what sections are triggering so u can try and skip around them.

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But Jean was not a Raven, and Wayne was dead.

FUCK YEAH BABY NOT ANYMORE U ARENT

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the thought of that quiet space with its single bed was so repulsive he turned toward the living room instead. - this is so important to me

He could sense the others’ presence even if they weren’t around to bother him, and that was enough to take the edge off the loneliness eating at his heart.

literally end my life i’m so happy for jean, he’s healing slowly but surely

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this was better than anything he’d ever had. It was worlds more than he deserved. He feared it as much as he wanted it;

JEAN U DO DESERVE IT I PROMISE U

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wait wtf,, zane is reacher??? in literally every raven fic ever reacher is the most abusive character other than riko

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OMFG BEACH SCENE??? THEYRE GONNA TAKE JEAN TO THE BEACH??? CHECK THAT OFF EVERY SINGLE BINGO CARD MADE FOR THIS BOOK

^ yeah i wrote that two seconds before then reading jeans panic attack about drowning and the trigger of riko waterboarding him and neil and now i want to cry

[ohbo-ohno]

i know we're all on the serial killer au rn (which... god. yeah. fuckin hell. i have nothing to add its so immaculate) but my brain is still lingering on puppyboy soap and punishments. and reader being made to watch his more brutal punishments... what do u think those punishments are? bc we know johnny is like the biggest masochist ever and the only way to really punish him is to deny him of pleasure. so how does simon manage other punishments knowing he's probably just going to enjoy them?

- 🪶

feather!!!! the prodigal horny son returns!!!

Not doing as much x reader stuff for this one! I think that version of Johnny is like impossible to punish because he’s so horny all the time so I’m gonna have some fun with another version of Johnny that has some actual humility and can in fact be punished

Also if anyone is interested: wrote more of ghost being very mean to soap here and here

Two words: Public. Humiliation. Fastest way to get Johnny teary and desperate is to fuck with him in public.

Ghost will fuck him in an unlocked room, hold Johnny’s jaw open so he can’t block his wails and moans. Doesn’t let him cum, leaves him there with his pants down for anyone to see - or use :(

Gropes him beneath a table for everyone around to see, rubs his cock and balls, gets poor Johnny all whiney and shifty. Makes him lean his full weight into Ghost, looks up at him with desperate puppy dog eyes, can’t stand to look anywhere else because he doesn’t want to know if anyone else is looking

Pins him against the mirror in the gym. Slips a hand down his shorts and jacks him off, doesn’t bother to weight for people to leave. Just gets him off right there, makes him paint the inside of his shorts and doesn’t let him change, makes him keep working out all messy

Has Soap shower with a cock cage on. Makes him shower at one of the busiest times, gives him an itty bitty little towel so he’s got nothing to hide behind. Does wonders for Johnny’s ego problem

Makes him wear a tail plug all day. Leaves poor Johnny with an awkward shape in the back of his pants, spends all day horrified at the thought of someone else knowing what he’s wearing. Ghost will do anything he needs to to remind him he’s a puppy though <3

He’d also love denial as a punishment with Johnny. Refuses to fuck him, just thrusts between his thighs (makes him squeeze them real tight for him) until he gets off, paints Johnny’s swollen balls with his cum. Flops into his back with a big, satisfied sigh and ignores the whining mutt next to him

Locks him in a cock cage and milks his prostate. Gets Johnny’s balls nice and empty but doesn’t let him quite finish, leaves him sobbing and miserable. Simon makes him lick his mess up, then locks him in the cage for the night so he doesn’t have to deal with his humping. Falls asleep to his sniffles and cries

Also - beatings for sure. Simon tears Johnny’s ass to shreds. Even as a masochist, Johnny’s got a point where it stops being pleasurable (in some universes at least lol) and Ghost is more than willing to go past that point. Beats him black and fucking blue, totally has one of those paddles with a word engraved on it - maybe one with Simon and one with Bitch or something, just to really ham home what Johnny is

Could see him caning the bottom of Johnny’s feet if he refuses to crawl :( Puppy wanted to stand like a person so bad yesterday, now he can’t put any pressure on his feet at all without sobbing. Poor thing. Just crawls along behind Ghost like a good dog should

[thegeminisage]

star trek update time. once again, i've fallen behind, thanks again to hades. sunday* we watched "equilibrium" and "second skin" and last night* we watched "the abandoned" and "civil defense."

im typing this at fuck o clock monday night its scheduled to go up without me tmrw morning

equilibrium:

hi, sorry, the cold opening of them having dinner here......i could have watched a whole episode of this alone. odo learning to cook. kira thinking he's cute (HI???). bashir being precious about beets. sisko best cook ever. it was so good and i was a little wary when jadzia ruined it with a trill mood swing or whatever i was like damn this episode won't make me like dax any better unfortunately

actually though the episode was fine. the hallucinations were decently scary and i liked getting to know jadzia a little better ie about her hatred of doctors

it was also nice that 1. bashir stopped being a freak about her and 2. her hair is less big now. her falling asleep in his quarters (and her wanting the bottom bunk bc of curzon falling out of a tree) was so cute actually. i want to like her!!! i'm trying hard.

i also really liked the mystery in this episode, but if we're talking times a trill has been traumatized by going into a bad host, what about that one guy who stole her in like season 2 or whenever...?

i wish dax had gotten to apologize to kira also :( women should be kissing not fighting

i do LOVE when sisko calls jadzia old man. i think it's so fun. the gender of it all. i also really liked his little line about how he still misses curzon sometimes but would also be devastated if anything happened to jadzia. dax both is and isn't curzon, both is and isn't jadzia...where that divide is and what makes up dax vs what makes up jadzia is really fascinating to me, i wish we explored it more

scene in the pool at the end i was so afraid she was gonna get naked. thank god.

second skin:

hhhhholy fuck

so, i loved this episode right up until the very last second. firstly, every kira episode is great. she's fantastic and so well-written and such a talented actress, i'm obsessed with her. secondly, we flirted with an amnesia plot for a hot second which was so fun. thirdly, what the FUCK

i love also, hi, that kira unpacked so much of her thoughts about the missing week of her life in odo's office. he's literally her sounding board. is this thing on? they love each other

the sheer raw fucked up factor of kira waking up AS A CARDASSIAN. she looked like she wanted to tear off her own skin and who can blame her. i hardly recognized her

GARAK IS HERE. i really love whatever he's going going on with sisko. "this is extortion" "yes it is" and also "that's the first totally honest thing you've ever said to me" every single conversation they have is like. garak flirts for fun and for sport with everyone in this show (INCLUDING KIRA???) and sisko is constantly meeting him in the middle . also, him putting the fear of god into that ship that tried to board them <3

the mystery of this episode was so intriguing. i was on the edge of my seat waiting for the gang (INCLUDING ODO!!!) to rescue kira. i wanted to figure out the Truth, bc obviously she's not a fucking cardassian. but i do feel they dropped the ball a little at the end

firstly, it seems too convenient that kira happens to look SO much like the real illiana that her OWN FATHER could not tell them apart. yeah, yeah, ten years, but are we serious rn?

SECONDLY, i don't think kira getting teary when given this keepsake (which was already weird) and declaring this cardassian dissident to be a "good man" is very IC. she's only come to that kind of understanding with one cardassian before (guy who pretended to do war crimes), and given the traumatic nature of this whole ordeal, i would have expected her to have mixed feelings/have trouble expressing this aloud, even if she did believe it. so we ended on kind of a weak note there, overall though incredible experience

the abandoned:

first, when i said "give odo a baby" i did not mean it like this.

second, dad sisko. my best friend sisko. sisko holding a baby, sisko missing his own baby, sisko sisko sisko my beloved

uhhh sisko not doing good with his own son because...drummroll please...jake is still dating the dabo girl

i genuinely thought this was a throwaway line but we have a whole fucking PLOT in here

i don't understand sisko at the end of this ep being like "yeah they can keep dating." ik this show is 30 years old but JAKE IS SIXTEEN. THE DABO GIRL IS 20. she seems nice and definitely she shouldn't be judged for being a dabo girl and if this character were like 18 i'd be like, okay, that's two years, she's only technically an adult, but TWENTY? at this age, 4 years is a HUGE gap

also, her tits were pushed so far out i wasn't even sure if they were real or not...HE IS SIXTEEN. like yes he knows what tits are but she is an ADULT??? eugh.

ANYWAY, odo's quarters!!! i like that he finally has a real room and doesn't just live in a bucket at work like presumably the cardassians made him do. kira bringing him a housewarming gift and wanting a peek at what he had going on in there was genuinely so sweet i wanted to kerm. i'm glad we got that since they argued later BUT win for me bc we also ended the episode on them

rip odo's trauma :( lab specimen ptsd meets founders identity crisis for a total fucjing breakdown. he did pretty good considering

civil defense:

10/10 EPISODES THIS ONE WAS AMAZING

lots of really fun sisko moments in this. i love when he gets to save the day and i love when he hangs out with jake. jakes was extremely brave and helpful too he saved their asses a bunch of times. today he got to be one of the grown-ups

GARAK IS HERE! i love how he showed up to help and then everything became immediately worse. every time you'd think "it cannot possibly get worse than this" it does

odo and quark essentially being locked in an elevator together. odo calling him devious (honorific). quark calling odo a guy with integrity (derogatory). i still don't Love quark but he's extremely funny and his scenes with odo are always a riot

STAR OF THIS SHOW GUL DUKAT. he showed up to laugh at their predicament and generally be unhelpful which was pretty funny but also i was a little mad at him and then he threatened kira which made me REALLY mad at him (she was so solid though she didn't budge and inch hell yes girl) and then he. got trapped on the space station also which was FUCKING hilarious. like i had been just mad enough to enjoy seeing him suffer under the reverse uno and find it IMMENSELY satisfying. you thought GARAK was a cringefail loser at getting this space station to work? he has nothing on gul dukat, who managed to not only make it EVEN WORSE but lock himself out of every system on the station. incredible work

absolutely though the best part of this episode BY FAR was when gul dukat was flirting with kira and nobody realized it but garak and he called him out on it 1. humiliating him in front of his crush 2. roasting him (bc anyone could see kira would have better taste) 3. reminding him that he's married 4. propping up kira herself bc garak supports women's rights and bajorans rights and also their wrongs. garak diss track when.

anyway, this episode hit the perfect balance between tense and funny, every single character had something fun to do or say, fucking excellent television

TONIGHT: um. um the first tng movie. um. the one with. the one where. please don't make me say it

[hunterofartemis7]

Apollo was officially at his wits end with his sister. It had been almost two weeks since the event of “God games” where Zeus about killed Athena. Apollo had done his best to tend to her wounds but she wasn’t making it easy. If she wasn’t fighting him about staying in bed and pulling her stitches, then she was screaming from nightmares/pain and still pulling her stitches. Not to mention that her burns couldn’t heal properly because this woman refused to rest. He got so tired of fighting with her that he drugged with her milk of the poppy so she would be to delirious to fight to with him. This worked….for about a day before in her delirium, Athena kept mumbling about Odysseus, saying she needs to see and protect him. And Apollo thought a sane Athena was hard to deal with, a drugged one was worse.

“I can’t do this anymore!” Apollo yelled in frustration. He loved his sister so much but he was on the verge of insanity. He decided the only way she was gonna chill was if she SAW Odysseus was okay, and the only way to do so without her getting out of bed was to bring Odysseus to her. He teleported down to Odysseus raft and almost scared the poor guy shitless. “Odysseus of Ithica!” Apollo yelled appearing in a ball of glory.

“Aahhh!” Odysseus screamed, throwing a dagger at Apollo, which the god thankfully caught. “Oh….hello lord Apollo.”

“Hi! Sorry didn’t mean to scare ya but I’m kinda pressed for time and on the verge of losing my mind.”

Odysseus looked at the sun god confused. “Pardon?”

“Athena got hurt trying to save you and now is about to give herself an aneurysm trying to get to you.” Apollo says quickly. Yeah, that didn’t help clear up Odysseus confusion but Apollo didn’t care. He grabs the king of Ithica and teleports back to Olympus to Athena.

“Athena..?” Odysseus mumbled, shocked to see his former mentor bleeding and bandaged, mumbling nonsense about him. “What happened to her?”

“Zeus struck her with lightning multiple times when she asked him to release you from Calypsos island. She’s kinda high rn because she would not stop fighting me to get to you, so do with that information as you will.” Apollo told Odysseus before pushing him to Athena and leaving them alone. Odysseus stumbled and fell in front of Athena’s bed. He stood and waked over to the side of the bed, sitting beside her and taking hold of her hand. “Athena…” he cooed. “Athena wake up…”

Athena looked around slightly and locked eyes with Odysseus. “Ody…?” She questioned. “A..are you really here..or am I still high?”

Odysseus chuckled and brushed the hair out of her face. “Im here my friend. I’m real. No whether or not your high is up for debate.” He teased.

Athena started at him for a minute before squeezing his hand and starts crying. “Odysseus….im sorry!” She cried. “I’m so sorry. I never should have left you 😭.”

Odysseus squeezed her hand and wiped the tears off her face. “Shhh, it’s okay Athena…i forgive you. And I’m sorry too, for not listening to you.”

Athena sniffed, “we both fucked up didn’t we..”

“Yeah,” Odysseus replied. “Yeah we both fucked up. But it’s over now. You don’t need to worry anymore.”

“I always need to worry, you know that.” She told him.

“True, but you no longer need to worry if I’m okay. I’m on my way home my friend, thanks to your sacrifice.” Odysseus smiled at her. “Now you need to get some sleep so you can heal.”

“What about you..?” She asks, trying to keep herself awake.

“I’ll be fine. Just sleep my friend.” Odysseus reassured her, stroking her hair. “When you awake again, I’ll be home.” She smiled at him and mumbled, “be safe my friend….” And with that, athena falls asleep having the peace of mind Odysseus was fine and getting to go home.

Some of my comments have inspired this prompt for an Athena& Odysseus fic bc I am in the middle of a project I cannot write this right now please someone help

So, Apollo is tending to his sister after God Games, but it's not going all that well bc she has like constant nightmares of Odysseus and keeps saying she needs to see him (alternatively I am also on-board with weak half delirious whispers of his name. Yk. Or both)

So finally Apollo is like fuck this I can't work this way and picks off Ody from his raft and is like would you please just come with me for a sec and talk to my sister bc she's losing her mind over here

So ody gets to see Olympus and talk to his mentor (friend) and she's hurt and they make up and things

Please I beg can someone release me of the pain I'm feeling at not having time for this scenario cos my readers will kill me if I don't get them some comfort in my newest fic asap (they're justified)

[charlotteiscrying]

you never made me cum. not once ever. i really wish that was a lie. i faked it every time. i don’t even feel guilty anymore for it. but i’m glad, so mf glad, i left it with you believing your dick is just THAT good. because you’re pretty awful at fucking. you always ONLY do short, fast strokes, which prolly do feel the best to you, but they feel the worst to the girl. maybe that was on purpose though, i keep realizing more and more that you only ever cared abt yourself. i didn’t have the heart to correct how you fuck. i really tried to give you tips, tried to tell you what i needed you to do. the longest you ever ate my pussy was for five minutes. it takes me 15 minutes with a mother fucking vibrator to cum, you never even got close.

when a girl squirts, that’s just liquid coming out, there’s no orgasm. that’s why i’d always stumble over my words when trying to explain that squirting is different than cumming. one time i tried to say that you hadn’t made me cum, you looked at me like i was insane, and you told me that you knew as a fact i had already came. when you would eat me out i’d tell you omg do not stop doing that, you’d immediately stop, or you’d do it for 15 more seconds, assume i’m good, then stop. the times id tap out were because your dick was hitting my cervix. that is the one thing you do have going for you, your dick is huge. but size really don’t matter if you don’t know how to use it. none of this ever mattered to me, because sex is just skin deep. you were so much more to me than just an orgasm. so much more. it didn’t matter if you’d made me cum because i knew that night id be asleep, held tight in your arms, and i knew that i loved you, and you loved me (that’s the first time ive said that in past tense, i’m proud of myself).

i tried so hard to explain what i wanted. what i needed you to do to make me feel good. “can you go slow this time ?” “no i don’t like that.” “will you eat me out just a little longer ?” “no my tongue hurts.” “i cum harder from my clit than from my pussy,” “no you don’t dummy i fuck your pussy not your clit.” “you should tie me up, you should come over one day n just start fucking me don’t ask just do it, i want you to dominate me i want you to tell me what to do,” “are you sure you want that ? i don’t think you’d like that.” you’d always complain abt giving me hickeys, kissing my neck, you straight up refused to suck on my nips after i got them pierced, bc you didn’t like how they look. you’d say they tasted like house keys. welp, your sweaty hairy unwashed ball sack never rlly tasted all that great either. but i never complained. when you’d say “i want you to suck my dick but ik i smell,” id say “omg come here rn you DO NOT smell, n if you do ill suck it up, i want you to get what you want i want you to feel good.”

the amount of times i woke you up by sucking your dick, even though i had explained to you multiple times that i was raped in my sleep, that’s a lil triggering for me, i really don’t wanna do that. you’d ask me about twice a week to do that for you, so id do it. i did lots of sexual or even non-sexual things i neverrrr wanted to do, but i did them bc i wanted you to feel good. id do absolutely anything for you. and i knew from day one that you wouldn’t do absolutely anything for me, yet i didn’t care. ig i’m stupid. or way too hopeful. i’d suck your dick for hours. gagging n struggling not to puke while ur pulling on my hair n pushing my head down, i loved it. i loved making you feel good. that’d turn me on more than any shape or pattern your hands tried to draw on my body. you never once traced big circles on my back. you’d never play with my hair. you’d never kiss the back of my neck, you’d never take even 5 mins before we fucked to just touch on me, to actually try to turn me on.

i did bring that up once. i told you i wanted you to take more time to turn me on. it turned into a huge argument about me lying n how ur ex faked it n how ur mom faked it and on and on. all i wanted was you to say oh that’s easy ! i can touch you more. the same way i said oh that’s easy ! i can put my sock on your dick ! all i ever wanted was to please you, if you ever had actually cared you woulda spent a lot more time focusing on pleasing me. those few times you put a vibrator on me, those were amazing. the last time you fucked me, on my bday when i flew out to you, that was the best you’ve ever fucked me. you listened to what i asked you to do, you went slow, you touched on my body, you kissed my neck. it’s pretty fucked up, the very last time we fuck is the best it’s ever felt. and i still didn’t cum. i went to the bathroom n finished myself.

at least i know damn well that i’m the best you’ve ever had. or will ever have. you’ll never find another girl who can fuck like me, ride like me, deep throat like me. but don’t you worry, i also know damn mother fucking well that you’re not the biggest dick i’ve ever had. or will ever have. i love the fact that for the rest of forever, ever single time you beat your dick, i’m who you’re thinking about. you’ll probably still watch all the videos we made. and i know im the last girl you’ll ever film with. good luck finding another girl that’s down to have threesomes with you, that you actually wanna be with. there’s a huge difference between a freak and a whore. i’m the only girl you’ll ever fuck who’s a porn star. i’m the only girl you’ll ever be with that’s hot enough to work, and make BANK, in this industry. i’m the only girl who will ever let you use me how i like, and i know AS A MF FACT i’m the freakiest girl you’ll ever get with. i love the fact i fulfilled all your fantasies, i gave you something you’d only ever dreamed of. i love that you’re never gonna feel that again, from anyone, ever, because i know i’m NEVER EVER touching you, or your dick, again. i am the only person that will ever make you feel like that. even if you get back on the pills, no amount of fentanyl will ever feel like my throat, my socks, or my pussy. i just hope you got all the freaky puss you need outta this life. and i hope that subpar motodyke coochie was worth never feeling me, my throat, my pussy, or my ass, ever again.

[n3onfangss]

I feel fucking awful rn. I'm missing things that never existed and everything sucks and I'm trying not to make it all about me and keep everyone happy and do everything that's expected of me even when i can't and it's just not working anymore. i can't fucking do this today or tomorrow or anytime for the rest of ever. i want someone i trust to hold me and let me cry and tell me everything is going to be alright but o don't feel safe with anybody even though I should. I'm supposed to be the strong one, the glue holding us together and picking up the pieces and keeping the ball rolling and instead I'm hiding in my room bawling like a baby and i can't even blame hormones if anyone asks. i was pushed to my limit on decision making and social interaction and being touched and being talked to and so much more and i just can't fucking do it right now. I'm gross and dirty and i feel guilty for having to choose one cat out of two to bring home and doom the other to forever think of the family they could've had when he almost fell asleep on my lap and felt safe and i feel awful. I've been teased and told that nobody loves me by my little sister a little too much and i can't deal witg this right now, especially when i have to go into school tomorrow on a day off to present some stupid required project to strangers for an hour and if i don't i flunk English, which used to be my strong suit and isn't anymore. and on top of that my Mom basically forgets everything I've ever done or told her. every promise she's ever made, even! she said she'd turn the wifi back on ok my phone so i don't get stranded when wifi isn't available or the bus is late or I'm on the wrong bus or something, she said we could go to the zoo for my birthday in January but then postponed until she could make it a grades deal because we never do anything on my birthday anyways and i don't have anybody else to celebrate with, she says things will get better once in a blue moon and they never do. she NEVER spends time with me and constantly takes away things that make me happy just because they do and so i do them constantly, like half of my hoodies in middle school or just absolutely anything, including threatening rdr2 last week, which is the only coping mechanism and space point i have with all the doom scrolling and social interaction on Tumblr. and ofc even with all of that i just can't catch a fucking break from anyone. I'm weak and pathetic and selfish and annoying and everyone either tells me I am or tells me I'm not and everyone keeps lying to me. is it so hard for a girl to catch a break and take a breather?!?!?!!

[mulletmitsuya]

Toman groupchat

Warnings: REALLY suggestive, swearing, mentions of drugs, lots of pubes, sorry in advance, mentions of balls. again, my bad

Desc: just typical teenage boys having typical normal converstions☺

Baji: pubes or no pubes?

Mikey: I have them yes

Chifuyu: me too

Draken: what

Kazutora: huh

Mitsuya: context?

Baji: oh my bad

Baji: bout to meet up with someone so i was wondering if i should shave or go bald

Smiley: we way too comfortable in this groupchat

Mikey: ?

Mikey: why tf would we know this

Kazutora: yeah we're virgins

Mikey: i didn't mean it like that😐

Kazutora: ...are you....not a virgin

Mikey: pffft no

Mikey: everyone wants me

Mikey: so they shall receive

Mitsuya: sounds like something a virgin would say

Mikey: shut up Mitsuya you're gay

Mitsuya: and you're a virgin

Baji: so you guys aren't gonna help me

Draken: dude we don't fucking know

Kazutora: all i'm saying is, no one wants to lick a lollipop that's fallen on a carpet

Mitsuya: ew????

Smiley: can we not

Baji: no Tora's right

Chifuyu: but your hair's so silky Baji-san

Chifuyu: i say keep it as long as it's neat

Draken: guys can we NOT😐

Baji: my hair IS beautiful and silky🤔

Mikey: your pubes too??

Baji: duh

Mitsuya: Baji who are you even meeting up with

Baji: some dude from grindr

Mikey: WHY R U ON GRINDR LMAO😭

Baji: yeah lol

Baji: crazy how many people i know are there

Baji: like Mitsuya

Draken: FR????? ARE U SERIOUS

Mitsuya: oh yeah lmao

Mitsuya: it was from when i'd just turned 18

Baji: when you were young and fresh

Mitsuya: I'm 19😐

Draken: telling Hakkai btw

Mitsuya: what's the reason

Draken: cause you're dating???

Mitsuya: i just forgot to delete my profile, chill🙄

Draken: explain that to him then

Baji: this was about me, btw

Baji: fuck it i'll shave

Baji: it's just really hard to get in between

Draken: try wax strips

Baji: and rip my balls off🤨??? no thanks

Draken: fuck you then

Chifuyu: use hair removing cream

Baji: burned the shit outta me last time cause i fell asleep

Baji: my asscheek were bright red

Kazutora: why were you...

Kazutora: nvm

Mikey: 💀

Draken: aren't you suppose to be shaving

Baji: i'm typing with my toes

Smiley: i don't like that

Baji: cry about it

Smiley: WEEEEEHHH 😭😭😭😭

Smiley: WAAAAAH 😖😖

Smiley: WAAAAHHEH *sniff* EHHHHHHH��

Smiley: sorry i'm high as hell rn

Smiley: Angry lied and said it was weed

Smiley: i haven't blinked in 4 hours

Mitsuya: what was it💀

Smiley: crack

Smiley: continue

Baji: ANYWAY

Baji: it's sad that i have to resort to grindr when i have two fertile best friends

Mikey: AYO??😭

Draken: DUDE CHILL

Chifuyu: 😧

Mitsuya: too comfortable, as Smiley said

Kazutora: who you calling fertile🤨

Baji: you are so babygirl

Draken: touch some ass please

Baji: see Draken gets it

Draken: *grass

Draken: *grass

Draken: *grass

Mikey: too late

Baji: guys exfoliation does wonders

Baji: anyway, my balls are as smooth as freshly boiled eggs❗bye guys

Mikey: ....

Mikey: ...why would he say that

[tanchyjuj]

The Adventures of a Teenager BLA BLA BLA

Let's give it a shorter name, shall we?

Teenager in the Pizzaplex!

ALL PLATONIC

(You know the rules, and so do I. This is very short and dialogue heavy, and not very comedic like the others, so enjoy. Description of death and existential crisis warning. )

Weird Ass Dreams-

Two weeks after that incident, you have fully decided that you never go into the lower levels the the Pizzaplex every again. Not even touching the damn "Do Not Enter" signs. Hell naw, aint touching that shit. Naw naw naw.

Ain't risking your life in becoming the main character of a damn horror movie.

And believe it or not, your sleep schedule has been slowly, very very slowly getting better. Thanks to Moon.

After a long day of handling musty and loud children. Moon makes you take a nap, sleep, lie down, either way you must have your two damn eyeballs see the darkness.

When you awake at the time when you're supposed to be in the middle of sleep. The first thing you whisper was.

"what the hell was that..." Because you just dreamt of something, WEIRD.

Your brain can be questionable sometimes, but damn boy the fuck was that.

"What is it?" You almost shit your pants when that voice suddenly popped up beside you, not realizing you've been staring at the ceiling. Ceiling must be scared rn.

"Some weird dream."

"Oh?" You see Moon sit down beside you. "You're supposed to be fast asleep by now, off to the land of nod. But oh well, it wouldn't hurt me that you tell a story of what you have dreamt."

You chuckle, Moon talks like some old grandpa reading a storybook sometimes.

"Uhhh, where should I start, damn." You ignore the quiet language from Moon.

"What do you remember first?"

"Wellll, Sun and I were like. Washing some dishes. Then after a while, you appeared outside of the window, but you were like, super super tiny."

"Why was I so tiny? Do you see me as a small, weak, little creature?"

"Naw naw because you had a gun."

You started quietly laughing at Moon's confused face.

"And like, I don't know! You were aiming it at Sun's head and we freaked out!"

"Well, that's something that isn't out of the ordinary- I'm joking I'm joking-"

You snickered when you see Moon and Sun fighting each other internally.

"Then you broke in, the gun fell and it was, fake?"

"Well that's disappointing- Sun they aren't a kid they just act like one you just gotta remember that- oh my gosh-"

"Then suddenly, the scene changed and like, I don't know, the place looked like it was some, 'Backrooms' thing I don't know."

Moon looked confused. He closed his eyes. You stared at him, waiting for another response.

"Well, that's just, creative, I supposed." Moon opened his eyes again.

"Did you just Google search in your head?"

"Yes, it is useful when we want to search up slangs for the slightly older children."

"Ohhhh." You yawned.

"Then like, I saw a lady, someone I've never met before in my life. Pour buckets of, toxic chemicals into a pool. She suddenly had chains and those metal balls attach to her ankles."

....

"Then she proceeded to commit and jump into the pool." Your rubbed both of your eyes with your hands. "I don't know why I dreamt of that."

Moon sighed, and patted your arm.

"The human brain can be, strange." He said.

"It's weird."

"Yes, weird."

"Do you ever think of an exciting event? Then you think of the future you after the event? Then the event ends and you thought about past you, thinking about the present you?" You rambled.

Both Moon and Sun tried to process that.

"Like, I think of me, old, lying on my death bed. Thinking that I will experience that one day. And I keep on thinking of that, and one day I would remember my past self thinking about this. And just every single day I wake up, I realize that I'm getting closer to entering big chapter of my life. And..."

You yawned again.

"I don't think I'm ready for that. I don't know. When I was still younger, I was too nervous to ask a question to one of the staff members, now I'm one of them. Damn. It feels like I'm just wasting my time and every fun thing will surely end.."

...

"Well, in the end, those fun things will be a memory that you keep." Moon brushed your hair. "Your life.. Is a journey, and journeys will end. You don't have to write a story that everyone in the world will remember, you just do it for yourself."

You yawned again.

"And we'll be there, making your life a bit more fun."

"Even if I act like a child sometimes, hehe."

Moon chuckled.

"Well, you're not wrong."

"Hey! Mean."

"But but, you're different. You're someone Sun and I can talk to."

Moon smiled softly. "Go to sleep, I need to patrol. I'll wake you up when you need to."

You lazily give Moon a thumbs up. "Good night, Insomnia Destroyer.."

Moon grumbled, he forgot you gave him that nickname.

"Goodnight, Starlight."

FINISH

Fun fact, those dreams are inspired by my many dreams (remove sun and moon ofc) and my friends' dreams :)

[lesbiansoncaffiene]

AFTG As Shit Me And My Friends Have Said (pt. 2)

Y’all like the last one so much (it’s my most liked post as of rn so thank you!!) that we now have a part dos

Also features quotes from my gov class and from my (twin) brother

Matt: I am very happy to declare pawnshops as “EBay irl”

Dan: dear god

——————————————

5:24am

*Nicky named the chat Toothpaste Man Fanclub*

5:25am

*Andrew left the chat*

—————————————

Renee: I cannot believe I have to say this, you’re not allowed to cut into a cake baby

Aaron, his scalpel ready: goddamit

——————————

Matt, drunk: Me when I cut off my ear for the lols

——————————

The AFTG fandom: Gender, in the state of this nation? I think the fuck not

——————————

Wymack: Wow I have a lot of white in my beard

Abby: It’s because you’re old

Kevin: Well the alternative is dead so..

Wymack and Abby: ..

——————————

Aaron, to Katelyn, who always falls asleep during Marvel movies: do you wanna watch a Marvel movie?

Katelyn: *snorts*

——————————

Seth: What if you’re pregnant and go to China, and your baby is born while you’re in China

Renee: You can’t fly in a plane during your 3rd trimester of pregnancy

Seth: Yea but what if you drove

*disappointed sighs*

———————

Kevin: omg I found a picture of my best friend in PreK

Kevin: The one who told me Satan was gonna eat me

Matt: ….I’m sorry what-

————————

Nicky: My only goal in life is to piss off my ancestors by going to the spice section in the grocery store

————————

Kevin: someone tried to mansplain on me in my history class, I hope they know that I’m a self-diagnosed autistic bisexual with a god complex who is going to prove him wrong

Dan: yep time to call Betsy

——————————

Jean: listen I’m aroace but if Mothman ever wanted to fuck…..

Laila: shut uP, ShuT UP-

——————————

Aaron: we have to take care of these egg baby’s in my healthcare class *shows eggs with goggly eyes attached*

Andrew, looking it dead in the eyes: eat it. Eat the baby

——————————

Nicky *on the bus*: SCOOBY DOOBY DOO

Matt: WHERE ARE YOU

Neil, from the back: emotional hell

——————————

Jeremy *about some gossip*: omg what a plot twist

Alvarez: that only happens in books

Jeremy: shhh I’m projecting

——————————

Renee: wow, that was great parallel parking, you must have aced your drivers test

Andrew: my what

——————————

*3am on a school night*

Dan: Don’t you think it’s weird that getting lab work done is basically walking into the doctors office and asking them to take your life juice?

Allison: if you don’t shut up and go to sleep I’m calling Wymack

————————

Neil: I hope Wymack lets me make Jack do the little lad dance for missing practice

Seth: that would bring all the serotonin that I’m missing back into my life tbh

————————

Andrew: I’m a very slow reader, I should not start a 10K fic at 2:35am

Neil: You going to anyway aren’t you

————————

Allison *showing Renee a meme*: Why was my first thought when I saw this ‘I should send this to my therapist’

Renee: Because you’re mentally ill, babe

———————

Andrew: Why make good decisions when arson is an option?

Aaron: Is arson… not a good decision?

———————

Nicky: okay so how do we let Andrew know that we know he’s gay. I have a few ideas-

Renee: well, we should be subtle-

Nicky, already pulling out a full on rainbow costume: do we /have/ to?

———————

Allison: is my straightener in your room?

Neil: I don’t think anything in my room is straight but you can check

———————

Andrew *on a rant about Adam Levine’s voice*: it sounds like he’s been hit in the balls

Wymack, who woke up two minutes ago when he thought someone was breaking into his house at 3:38am: what the fuck

————-

Neil: My lungs thought it would be funky and fresh to stop working when it is in fact not funky nor fresh

Matt: You just had an asthma attack, can you shut up-

———————

Aaron: I have therapy today

Kevin, trying to be supportive: that’s hot

————————

Renee: I love you but your pizza cutting skills are enough to ward off God

Dan, who cut the pizza into squares: yeah that’s fair

——-

Dedicated to Jess who read these and approved 100% *sorta*

——-

Part 3? Possibly?? If y’all like it???

——-

Part 1:

[et-lesailes]

the instagram error

pairing: chris evans x reader

word count: 1208

summary: you and chris’ secret relationship is about to become public all because he has no idea how to use instagram...

themes: fluff, comedy

taglist: @evanstush​, @tanyam93​, @bval-1​, @wonderwinchester​, @patzammit​, @rohaintahquil​, @deidrashouseofpain​, @sammyslonglostshoe​, @jadedhillon​, @bohemian-barbie​, @whysparker​, @sebastian-i-stan​, @sebabestianstan101​, @lille-kattunge​, @teller258316​, @peach-acid​, @allsortsofinterests​, @xoxabs88xox​​, @heyiamthatbitch​​, @cptn-sgrogers​​​, @heyyouwiththeassbutt​, @bangtan-serendipity​, @troublermalik​​​, @beardburnsupersoldiers​​​, @bookish-shristi​​, @kind-sober-fullydressed​​,  @gingerninjaprincess16​​, @straightforwardly​​,  @denisemarieangelina​​,  @frencchfries​​, @xlanawriter​​, @littlemoistcarrot​​, @pottxrwolff​​, @arianatheangelworld​​, @ifuseekamyevans​​, @southerngracela​​, @nsfwsebbie​​, @rororo06​​, @savemesteeb​​, @raveviolet​​, @inactivewhore​​, @hurricanerinwrites​​, @captainamerica-is-bae​​, @shaddixlife​​, @tessa-bl​​, @marvelouspottering​​, @pppsssyyyccchhhiiiccc​​, @thegetawaywriter​​, @dwights-new-plague​​, @rynabarnesrogers​, @fckdeusername​​

notes: this one’s a little short, but it was just something fun i wanted to write since chris made his instagram! :) graphic creds to @thewritingdoll​

You smile in amusement as you rub lotion on your legs having just gotten out of the shower, watching your boyfriend tapping all over the screen of his phone in confusion. “Chris. It’s really not that complicated,” you remark with a laugh from your current seat at the edge of the bed, and he looks up from the device, scoffing playfully. “Look, I barely use this thing as it is unless it’s to occasionally tweet or take pictures of Dodger. Ya can’t blame me for having no idea how Instagram works.”

You giggle softly, standing up and coming over to his side, craning your neck trying to see what he’s posting. “You’re trying to do multiple pictures? Look, you tap on this first,” you explain, pressing on the icon on the right side of the screen, “then you select all the images you want in order.”

“Ohh.” Chris nods, grinning up at you. “Thanks, baby.” You chuckle softly as you go to the walk in closet, slipping out of your robe to change into pajamas. “Mmhm. Anytime.” He fiddles around with the phone for a few more minutes before finally locking it and setting it aside with a sigh. “Alright. That’s over with,” he exhales playfully as if exhausted, and you come back out of the closet dressed in a simple sleep tank with matching shorts. “What a hard life you lead,” you tease, crawling into the bed and yawning. “You ready for bed soon, babe?”

“Oh yes. I’m fucking exhausted.” Chris peels out of his clothing and you can’t help but stare, feeling incredibly thankful that the man sleeps in the nude every night. However, you soon look over to your nightstand, suddenly realizing your phone’s been going off like crazy. Blinking confused, you pick it up and look at the messages from your friends in your group chat.

“Giiiirl! That picture Chris just posted? SEXYYYYY!”

“Omg I thought you guys were still keeping the relationship on the dl?”

“Is this your way of telling the fans? Lmaoo”

“But why did he post it with a bunch of pictures of his dog….?”

Your eyes immediately widen as you stare at the flood of messages continuing to come in, now from other friends as well. “Chris,” you slowly murmur, “what the hell did you just post…?”

“Huh?” He looks at you in confusion as he’s getting into bed beside you. “Just some pictures of Dodger from our walk today, you know the really cute ones we took by the lake. Why?”

You take a deep breath and go to Instagram- you don’t even have to go to his profile because the photos pop up first on your feed. You swipe through- cute picture of Dodger, cute picture of Dodger, another cute picture of Dodger…

A mirror selfie of you in lingerie, a photo you had taken and sent to him one time just to tease when he was at work.

“Chris!!!” you practically scream, showing him the phone. When he sees it his blue eyes widen; he jolts up and grabs his phone. “Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck!!” He goes to his Instagram frantically, tapping the screen flustered. “How do I delete this?! How do you delete a post?!” You practically tear the phone out of his hands, deleting the pictures yourself before tossing it to the other side of the bed as though it’s a bomb.

The two of you slowly look at each other, panicked, discombobulated, stressed… until both of you suddenly burst out in laughter, realizing just how ridiculous the situation is. “Holy fuck. Thank god it wasn’t a nude,” he practically cackles, and you squeal just thinking about it, giggling breathlessly. “Chris. I can’t believe this. We were doing such a good job keeping our relationship a secret,” you laugh, “and it gets leaked from you? From a goddamn Instagram post?” You clap your hands, practically gasping for breath now, your smile stretched wide across your face as your shoulders shake from laughter. “Only you, Chris, only you!”

“Instagram is confusing, okay! Besides, I was doing the fans a favor. Your body is smoking, baby girl.” He points out with a playful smirk, throwing his arms around you tightly. “Shit, both of us are probably getting flooded with comments and DMs right now. We should probably address this, shouldn’t we…?” You sigh, smiling amused as you lean into his hold, holding his arms around you. “I mean, ever since they saw us in Defending Jacob together, they were “shipping” us anyways. It can’t be too surprising, right?” You yawn softly, tilting your head up to kiss him gently. “We’ll make a more formal announcement tomorrow morning. Let’s go to sleep now though, hm?”

Chris looks somewhat thoughtful but nods, leaning over to turn off the light before lying down with you. “Goodnight, Y/N. Love you,” he murmurs, kissing your forehead, and you smile in content as you close your eyes. “Night, Chris. Love you.”

He doesn’t fall asleep just yet, though, despite the fact that you’re already drifting off beside him. Instead, he picks up his phone again, going to Instagram. This time when he makes a post, he’s very careful about selecting the photo he wants, practically triple checking that he hasn’t added anything else. He types up the caption and presses “Share” before settling down, soon falling asleep with his arms around you.

You wake up the next morning earlier than him, blinking sleepily. Picking up your phone to check it before letting yourself go back to sleep, you blink noticing a flood of messages once again.

“I just DIED at chris’ post. You are so lucky omg”

“CHRIS IS TOO SWEET!!!!! Pls stay together forever”

“I’m still crying rn omg he is so romantic”

You check your other notifications. Chris has tagged you in an Instagram post? You go to the picture and immediately widen your eyes in surprise.

It’s a selfie of you, Chris, and Dodger- Chris has his arms around you and his head on your shoulder, his blue eyes sparkling happily and his lips close to your cheek. Dodger is on your other side, his own mouth practically pulled back into a smile as his tongue hangs out. Your eyes drift to the caption. 

“Alright guys. Pretty sure almost all of you caught my little Instagram mess up, so it’s time to come clean. I don’t normally do stuff like this but I want to with this girl. This girl right here is the love of my life, AND the love of Dodger’s too. We met on the set of Defending Jacob and the rest is history. I’m so lucky to have her. She’s a little ball of love and energy, and she even manages to make this quarantine full of delight and excitement each and every day. I hope you guys can respect our relationship and show her the same love you show me.

And yes, she sends me some pretty sexy pictures. ;)” 

You giggle softly to yourself, glancing down at the sleeping man beside you. God, you love this man.

You set the phone aside and snuggle back into him, closing your eyes to fall back asleep, the soft smile remaining on your lips.

[0ghostwriter0]

PARANOIA // Thomas Shelby

Chapter One // Chapter Two // Chapter Three

Fandom: PEAKY BLINDERS | BBC

Pairing: thomas shelby x original character

Timeline: post season five

Warnings: sexual language, extreme profanity and racial slurs, explicit scenes, gory detailing, triggering topics, drug use and abuse, alcohol use and abuse, underaged consumption of alcohol and smoking.

Description: In which the Birmingham boss finds a new ally in London and perhaps something more

In the dusky evening, during the bleak mid-winter, the streets of south London were bare except the joyous muse that came from beyond the entrance of The Vine. As the peak of social evenings, The Vine was in pristine condition from the washed windows to clean painted arches. The decadent bar was a notorious location owned by the Hughes. Much to your surprise, the Hughes were a seemingly converted ex-gang which now held the name of a wealthy and successful business venture owned and run by the head Hughes. On this fine evening, Birmingham blood troubled the peaceful equilibrium. Flat caps and razor blades.

Beyond the heavy oak that shut out the cold, almost one hundred socialites drank and danced in The Vine. Many people were too intoxicated to notice the rushing cold air penetrate the warm sophisticated interior. Many but not most. Hurrying up the grand staircase, a young barman scurried to find the head, Hughes. Empty and dark, the top layer of the vine had been restricted all evening. They had been expecting company. In a secluded nook, a passageway leads to an understated office. Minimalistic, the well-sized room was not a show of wealth but a show of professionalism. Tumbling through the empty space, the startled barman fell into the grounded office. The Head Hughes smirked in acknowledgement as they knew exactly how the night would unfold.

Meanwhile, cascading through the hardwood doors, a group of 10-15 burly men clobbered into the bar. Among the men, an icy blue gaze roamed the area. Shrieking, the almost hundred consumers scampered into the edges of the space. Barmaid and barmen sunk below the bar as the burly men flaunted around their weapons. The older brother to the blue-eyed stare, cocked his black barrel while aimed at a young man.

" Tell the Hughes that m’ gun and I would like some words, the Peaky Fucking Blinders have arrived to stake our claim." He spat as the young lad shivered before him. Little to his knowledge, at this point, the leader of the Hughes had made their way out of the secluded nook and towards the staircase in time to watch the events unfold. Disappointed in the primitive nature of the oldest Shelby, the head made their way to stand in full display at the top of the stairs.

"I wouldn't fucking move if I were you sweetheart" Thomas Shelby perked up from behind the crowd of peaky blinders as Arthur threaten a new figure. Smirking softly, the Hughes ignored the threats as she began her elegant decent of the marbled steps. When the guests noticed the figure drifting down, they fell into a quiet comfort.

" Would you shoot an unarmed woman, Mr Shelby?" the figure directed at Arthur as she tutted softly. " For the sake of your conscience I suggest lowering that death trap and treating these people with the same respect you demand" As she finished, the older Shelby changed his target to the outspoken woman before him.

"WHO ThE fU-" Arthur snapped but was swiftly cut off by Tommy. "Arthur, let's not get too ahead of ourselves eh?" the MP began while drawing a cigarette from the comforts of his Italian long coat. "I'm guessing you know a lot about the very people we wish to meet and introduce ourselves to" he bowed his head gently to light the cylinder between his lips. The soft woman only scoffed at the change of tone.

"My question still remains. Would you shoot an unarmed woman, Mr Shelby?" the fragile but prominent frame drifted to the base of the staircase. In the background, whispers began to loom. "But perhaps, you Blinders haven't done your research. You see.." as her words uttered toward the men, she took it upon herself to check on the frightened young lad. crouching down softly, she aided to the shivering figure. "...the Hughes are very fond of their research and their security so imagine their surprise when a group of Birmingham boys trotted into South London the same day a shipment goes missing." The brothers exchanged looks before their eyes focused back on the crouching woman. at this point, The peaky blinders had surrounded the four of them leaving the customers to only hear the head Hughes defend her business. "You can understand my disappointment Mr Shelby, I thought you better than to mess with quite the economic and strategic masterpiece of us Hughes..." lifting her head to face Thomas, she began to rise from her crouching position. "... if you wish for an audience Thomas Shelby, go to my offices like every other fucker in London!" now standing with her hand dusting off her skirt, the head of the Hughes smirked as the once hidden barmen and barmaids revealed their defensive weapons. with the barrel of their guns aimed at the many, peaky blinders, the house was in control.

"ahh, so you must have some big balls if you think that you can outmatch the Peaky Blinders!" Arthur spans out as he waved his gun around to gesture to the burly men now slightly divided due to the addition of balanced forces. Now she was closer, she understood that the eldest Shelby was high on god knows what while the other brother seemed num with emotion following his brother's remarks. The bags under his eyes made her wonder if Thomas had ever slept

"I don't think, I know..." the young woman floated between the peaky men and guided her way to the door. "... my office opens at the sixth hour and Mr Shelby if you ever try this again... I'll have your head." The Shelby men scoffed as the bar staff cocked their guns and ushered the peaky blinders. Although, one might say, that Thomas was rather intrigued by the power the small-framed woman commanded.

Looks like you don't fuck with the Hughes.

TAGLIST: @evrthefanatic @i-should-probably-be-asleep-rn @esmmyy @thecavillstache @325575 @pamela-stark98 @abb-lan-5sos @jessiecavill

[they-write-once-in-a-blue-moon]

Hoodies

Sirius x Remus Fluff

Words: 1403

A/n: I was gonna make this a Remus x reader, but I needed some soft wolfstar in my life rn Please feel free to send feedback!!

Sending love from to moon -Blue

“Moony” “...” “Mooony” “...”

“MooOooOooOny” “What Pads?” Remus sighs It’s been about 3 minute of Sirius being dramatic on Remus’s bed, while he sits on the floor studying, as Sirius won’t let him go to the common room or library as, “‘m not allowed in the library till’ next week and Evans ‘nd Prongs are in the common room eatin’ each others faces”

And he basically got kicked off his bed cause Sirius has been rolling on it complaining that he was bored. “I’m bored.” Sirius says pouting “That’s not my fault” Remus shrugs, turning the page on his charms book.

“YES IT IS!” Sirius yells, Remus swears the Ravenclaws could hear him “Cause you won’t give meh attentionnnn”

Remus smirks to himself “You’re right I’m not giving you attention, so I’m going to go not give you attention in the library” He grabs his things heading to the door.

“NOOOO!” Sirius screams, now Remus knows the Ravenclaws can hear him “Don’t leave meh Moony!” he falls off the bed trying to get to Remus before he can leave.

“See you later Pads” He smirks walking out and closing the door before sprinting out of the common room to get away before Sirius could catch up if he decided to go after him.

Sirius is now sitting on the floor of the Marauders dorm, alone, pouting “Fuckin’ rude” he mumbles, falling back to lay on the floor.

He looks up and sees Remus left his muggle hoodie, the one he’s tried to steal off him a couple times.

He loves it cause It’s soft and warm...Well that’s what he tells the others, in reality he loves it cause it smells like Remus. 

He grabs it and pulls it on, it’s very long on him, the sleeves going past his hands. “Screw being a wereWOLF, he’s a bloody wereGIRAFFE”

He wraps his arms around himself, as if Remus was hugging him. “I wish he did this more” Unknown to everyone, even James, he’s had the biggest crush on Remus for like...ever… 

Sirius has never had trouble with relationships before, being able to woo anyone. And In his head the ONE person he’s never been able to catch was Remus. In reality, Remus has had a crush on Sirius since the first time he took him to madam pomfrey by himself. *Flashback* It was before the boys became animagi, they weren't able to sneak out to wait for him outside of the whomping willow. They did something stupid (as always) and Remus made them stay in the dorm as to not get them in MORE trouble.

Knowing that there wouldn’t be anyone to help him the next day, made the night worse than it had been for awhile.

The next morning when he came out of the shack, he was greeted by a hug, that hurt at first, due to his injuries, but as soon as he realized it was Sirius, he didn’t care about the pain, he just held onto him and cried, they sat there for almost 20 minutes, just holding each other as Remus cried, little did he know, Sirius was also silently crying.

Once Remus calmed down, Sirius pulled away and held Remus’s face, resting their foreheads together,

“Don’t bother telling me to stay in that room on full moons, it’s not going to happen.” “But, you could have gotten in trouble” “I get in trouble for breathing, I doubt doing a good deed will make much of a difference” “But-” “Remus-” “Yeah?” “Shut the actual fuck up, now come on, let’s go to madam pomfrey” Sirius picked him up onto his back “And don’t even think about telling me you can walk, cause I don’t care if you can, I want to carry you” *End Flashback*

Sirius put the hood up and went to go to his bed to nap, cause he was tired from doing nothing, before stopping and looking over at Remus’s bed.

“He’s not gonna be back for awhile…”

He turned back and fell onto Remus’s bed, curling under the covers, taking a deep breath as he fell asleep.

 About an hour later, Remus walks into the room “Hey Pads ha-” he stopped dead in his tracks, turning bright red, seeing Sirius peacefully asleep in his bed. He just stood there for a bit, what he went into the room for slipped his mind. Shaking his head, remembering that he came to get his hoodie, he quietly walked over to where he was sitting before, where he left his hoodie only to see it wasn’t there.

Frowning he looked in his clothes draws, he closed the bottom draw, a bit too loud and Sirius stird. “Fuck” he whispered as Sirius turned to see Remus crouched on the floor. “Couldn’t stay away from me” Sirius gave a goofy, tired smile

“It’s cold, have you seen my hoodie?” he stood up 

“Uh- no, no I haven't...” “You’re wearing it aren’t you?” he raised an eyebrow

“Nooooo” Sirius blushed Remus tried to not to look astounded, He’s never seen Sirius blush. He walked over smirking.

“Really?” 

“Uh- yep” 

Remus, ripped the blanket off Sirius, showing he was wearing his hoodie.

“Pads, give me my hoodie.” He laughed 

“No! It’s so cold and your hoodie’s so warm!”

“I know it’s warm, that’s why I want it back”

“But sharin’ is carin’!” Sirius whined curling into a ball

 “What about a compromise? You can stay in my bed, and I get my hoodie back?”

Sirius’s face frowned “But it’s not the same! Cause your hoodie is warm, and soft, and it ‘mells like you- ” 

Both boys' eyes widened. Sirius was trying to figure out a way to give an explanation, in a funny way. But nothing was coming to his mind, all he was thinking was how this could be his chance to tell Remus how he felt. It was like a light bulb went off in his head.

He shuffled to the other side of the bed and patted where he was just asleep. Remus frowned, very confused on what Sirius was on about.

“C’me here you git” Sirius grinned grabbing Remus’s wrist and pulling him on the bed

“Oh ok” Remus was still confused, but now blushing and confused. 

“I’ll be ya’ human heater” Sirius wrapped his arms around him.

Remus just smiled and pulled the covers over them and got comfortable resting his head on Sirius. Turning Sirius bright red.

“Wait really!”  “Yes you git, now shut up” 

Sirius just rolled his eyes and held Remus close. Before he could stop himself, he kissed the top of Remus’s head and whispered “I love you Moony” closing his eyes

“I love you too Pads” smiling, they fall asleep in each other's arms.

A few hours later, James runs up to their dorm opening the door seeing the sleeping pair. He covers his mouth backing out of the room, running back down to the common room, he grabs Lily’s hand, dragging her up to the boys dorm, disarming the staircase faster then he ever has.

“What are you doing James?” Lily says before getting aggressively shushed 

“Don’t you shush me…” she trails off as James opens the door again, showing Lily the sleeping boys holding each other, both of them smiling gently, Sirius’s lips still resting on Remus’s head.

“That’s the cutest thing I’ve ever seen” James whispers

Right before they go to walk away, Peter comes running up the stairs yelling “What are you guys doing!” getting shushed by Lily, James grabbing him and covering his mouth, pointing in the room

“Shut the fuck up Wormtail” he whisper yells But it’s too late as Sirius wakes up. Looking at all of them at the door, he mouths “If you wake him up, I will kill you all” the four teens at the door nod, backing slowly away, James still covering Peter's mouth. 

Once the door is closed, Sirius looks down at Remus, gently brushing some stray hair from his face, seeing him smiling, he swore he could look at him like this forever.

“Should we kill them slowly or quickly?” Remus mumbles making Sirius chuckle “Haven't got that far yet, but for now, I’m sleeping again”

“Sounds good,” Remus says, kissing Sirius’s jaw as it’s the only place he can reach, but it makes Sirius blush bright red, before they slowly fall back asleep.

“You’re only getting this hoodie back when it stops smellen’ like you”

[moonprincessdiviniation]

Hello Moon Princess! I respectfully petition a version of Sailor Joon as a boyfriend, and I move that the petition be closed. Plus I second the motion. Alright, since the petition was moved and seconded, may we anticipate a wonderfully crafted masterpiece for the LOL? (As a fellow citizen of Joonation, I apoligize for pressuring you and possibly giving you hiccups rn).😬☺🤭 Girl, that Jungkookie post made my heart rate go up from 90 to 300.

Hi Thei 🥰🥰 I'm so glad you liked the HC!!! 💜 I'm always nervous when I post one, I've written imagines before when I was on instagram, they're very similar, but I've never done these by intuition before.

I do these based off feeling and things I agree with that others have said. 💜

Type of boyfriend:

The type to be socially awkward around you even while you're dating

You've known him for months, been friends with him before that

Doesn't matter, he forgets what's acceptable when he comes around you

Does he put his arm around you? Too soon, too soon

What if he holds your hand? Not yet, he'll wait till you're not busy

He wants to kiss you right now. Should he?

Overthinking? It's his speciality

Hotel? Trivago

Sorry I had to 😂

Seriously though, he spends more time worrying about the possible mess ups

That he never makes a move unless you're both alone and sitting somewhere

Just like TT-TT

Baby boi, it's okay, hold my damn hand

You ultimately have to make the first move because he won't

But he appreciates it, bringing up the hand he's holding to kiss it

Physical Affection:

Eventually you're able to break him out of his shell

After numerous 3am discussions about life on mars, documentaries he watched during tour and the life plan we're all living

Falling asleep on him

Him not having the heart to move you

So he does his best to turn the bedside light off with limited arm mobility

All the while, staring at your sleeping face and smiling

Cause that's his baby

He never stops smiling with you

Every time you meet him he has a smile to greet you with

That really wide smile, no teeth showing

He knows you like him best when he's smiling, so he tries to give you his best

That and you just make him really happy🥰

Please initiate hugs often

He's too tall and clumsy to initiate them, but he absolutely adores them

Especially if you're coming from behind to hug him

It makes him shy, but he really likes it

Wow the butterflies that exploded in his stomach when you did it the first time

He couldn't stop laughing to himself 😭

The adoration this man has for you

Literally adores you like no other 🥺

He's not one to drop the marriage bomb super early

But damn do you make him consider it

Spoils you like no other

Flowers, chocolates, teddy bears

Doesn't matter, he's buying them for you

On your anniversary he buys you a tennis bracelet with your initials

Not his, not both, but yours

He needs you to know you're a diamond and then some

You're an Aurora borealis, a constellation, a fucking galaxy

You're the block of art and he's the sculptor

Allow him to let him make you shine in the light he sees you in

Fuck that got deep quick 😳

Namjoon's a romantic like googie

The way he'll enchant you with his words

He'll say something so profound or sweet, like nothing you've ever heard before

Then two minutes later ask you to scratch his back like he hadn't just literally taken your breath away

He loves you

It's really hard for him to say sometimes cause his words get stuck

But he does

So so soooo much

It'll hurt him when you go

He's hoping you won't though, thinking about the new year and how good it'll look to have you on his arm

Probably won't even watch the ball drop, just stares at you enjoying being in New York

He'll love you right if you let him

Aaaannddddd I'm crying 😭 dammit Namujoon