#i should always know what size i wear because My body doesn't change that much
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Bro I got new pants (from the men's section, where they allegedly use objective measurements like waist and inseam lengths) and I didn't have time to try them on but they're sized by objective measurements so I thought'no problem,' right? I just grabbed the size and style and brand I already had, that I was wearing a belt with so they'd fit right at that exact moment, and assumed it would be exactly the same BUT IT FUCKING WARNT IT'S TOO SMALL TO GET PAST MY THIGHS BUT IT'S ALLEGEDLY THE EXACT SAME SIZE AS WHAT I ALREADY HAVE THAT PRACTICALLY FALLS OFF WITHOUT A BELT I'M GOING TO BURN DOWN EVERY CLOTHING MANUFACTURER AND DEVOUR EVERYTHING THEY LOVE so now I have to get up early to exchange them before work tomorrow or just wear my same jeans that are starting to rip beyond my ability to fix for another two days before I get a day off :(
#clothing sizing is bullshit#even when the measurements are objective no they're not#why does it change?#sizing should be consistent#i should always know what size i wear because My body doesn't change that much#I'll probably wait to exchange them#but I'll be mad about it the whole time#i'm so tired#i thought shopping in the men's section would be easier#what with the sizing being by measurement and all#but it's apparently still a problem#you ever just give up completely?#that's about where I'm at rn#I'd just make my own but a) i don't want to and b) the while point of it is that they're supposed to be easy#i wish I could just vanish into the mist but unfortunately I can't#i should probably see a therapist#get some mood stabilizers or smth#fix the whole void thing I've got going on where my motivation should be#this really isn't that big a deal#but it is tho#but it's really not#it's not about the pants#but it is#but it's really really not#but its fine#sorry for the rant
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Dirty thoughts feat j.yh
⚠️ Advertisings ⚠️
♪ First of all clarify that this does NOT represent Yunho in any way, it is pure fiction.
♪ English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistake I could have.
♪ NSFW! I should say that minors can't read this but I can't stop them from reading this so read at your own risk.
♪ I've reviewed it several times but Tumblr hasn't been on my side lately so if there are any errors let me know, thank you🩷🙏🏻
Note: Just another thought about Yunho letting you take control in bed to steal it at the end and fuck you to faint. What can I say? I'm obsessed with this man being rude in bed 🫣. Well, I hope you like it! I love you, my shining stars🩷
Pleasing his girl is what Yunho lives for. Everything his precious princess wants, he'll make sure she gets it.
So if she tells him with those bright eyes and that adorable blush staining her face that she wants to try being in charge tonight while swaying her body from side to side in such a cute way, how is he going to refuse?
Although at first he was not very fan of the idea of changing roles in bed, after thinking it twice Yunho found it interesting. It might be fun to see how his cute submissive girlfriend who blushes for a measly little wink tries to put aside all that shyness and embarrassment to adopt the completely opposite facet she's used to have.
And he was right.
Just one minute and he's already loving how damn pretty you look on top of him. His lovely girlfriend comfortably sitting on his almost erect cock, wearing his favorite pale pink lingerie set that enhances your breasts, making them voluptuous and hugs your body harmoniously, shaping your ass in a so perfectly round way that when he sees you in that he can't keep his hands off you; all blushed and looking so nervous for not knowing how to start.
"Come on, princess, you have me at your mercy. Show me who's in charge" he encourages you in that damn hot voice that he deliberately drops a few octaves lower because he perfectly knows what an effect it has on you. That sultry grimace in his face making clear that, even if he's going to let you lead tonight, he's the real one in charge here.
You're both aware that neither you can take control away from him, nor can he avoid having it, it comes out without himself realizing it. Hey, but since you asked him so sweetly, Yunho is going to make the effort to pretend that he has given it to you; although it doesn't work out very well because he can't stop from moving as he pleases.
"What a bad boy I'm being, no? Touching you without you giving me permission to do it. I deserve a punishment, no? What are you going to do? Tell me" his body comfortably placed between pillows and both hands caressing the soft skin of your thighs as he usually does, giving you a little help so that you know how to continue with this supposed act of dominance.
And you respond well with that attempt to pin him down to the bed. Yes, attempt. Let's not forget the difference in size between you two, your tiny hand cannot hold both of his at the same time. Well, as they say, the intention is what counts.
"Oh princess, your hand is too small to hold both my wrists at the same time, right? It's okay, I'll hold them in place for you" he grins at you, laughing at how cute you look with that new shadow of red in your face and adjusting the position of his arms to keep his hands above his head against the pillows as he usually withholds yours.
With your free hand, because you have not removed the other of his wrists nor do you plan to, you begin to play with the elastic band of his boxers, looking at him for approval unconsciously, not touching his erection no matter how much you want to, waiting patiently for Yunho to beg you like he usually asks you to do when you're in that same position.
"You want me to beg like you always do, princess?" He asks a little incredulously, laughing at that sudden nervousness with which you nod at him "You want to hear me say how desperate I am for your pussy? Is that?" And as you nod again Yunho gives you that mischievous, arrogant smile that makes you melt so easily "Of course babe, I'll tell you how bad I want to feel your perfect gummy walls squeeze my cock so tight in that desperate attempt to milk my balls".
At this point you don't know if you can keep with this act. Your impatient hand gets rid of his boxers as best it can to free his enormous, veiny cock that hits furiously his belly when you release it. It looks so delicious in your hungry eyes that you don't know whether to put it directly into your throbbing walls or choke on it by forcing all his inches deep into your throat.
Well, while you decide what to do first, your hips decide to go free and sit on his hot, twitching cock again to rub along its entire length seeking relief for your needy pulsing clit.
"That's it princess, grind on my cock like that, I'm losing it" his hips following the rhythm of yours in search of relieving that suffocating need to bury his cock so deep in you that his tip hits your stomach.
Thank goodness impatience got the best of you and, although it takes you a little, you've already buried his cock all the way into your pussy.
The feeling of being among your sticky warmth, receiving him so pleasantly in that tight, welcoming embrace makes you both throw your heads back, needing a moment for both of you to adjust to the new not-so-new sensation.
His dick is so big, feeling even bigger when you ride it to the point that normally you can't do it alone; you are used to have the help of his strong hands to guide you at the pace he wants, something with which you can't count now and that Yunho clearly can notice how affects your moves.
"Are we having trouble here? Need some help, love? No? Can you alone? Sure? If you say so" Yunho can't help but laugh at how adorable you look struggling to swing your hips without the help of his hands as usual.
But he's laughing because he really has no other choice.
What a problem has Yunho right now, having you so close and not being able to touch you as he wants. The need to hold you by the neck and bring you closer to his lips so he can devour you properly takes him down the street of bitterness; the desire to pierce your insides is so strong that even his hips begin to move on their own, making you bounce lightly on his cock in search of that much-needed relief.
"Ah? Why stop moving my hips? You can't keep up with my pace? Oh sorry princess, it's true, you were the one leading tonight" He says, stopping a bit unwillingly as you have so kindly asked him to do just to make you bounce on his cock again a few seconds later as he pleases because he wants and he can.
And no matter how hard you are trying to continue, your movements become slower and slower in contrast to his, which gains more and more strength. You want to continue, you want to bring you both to orgasm but your strength abandons you, making you collapse on top of him while you try to catch your breath, now, giving up.
"It's too much for you, right darling? Do you want me to take charge from now on? Of course I don't care, my love. All for my princess" And that's when he flips you over and puts you in a mating press position to reach deeper inside you, your legs on his shoulders but spread enough to let him lie on top of you.
The power with which he fucks you in that position is such that, in your delirium induced by such pleasure to which he is subjecting you, it makes you want more than ever for him to penetrate your poor and abused cervix.
Is that possible? You don't know. If it were, will it hurt? Sure. Yunho is big, too big; there's no possible way that doesn't hurt. Will you like it? More than probable.
"You did so well, princess, looking so hot being in charge" His hips don't stop still for a second, his mission now is to drill your cervix until not a single hint of strength remains in his body "But there's nothing better than how I always turn you a crying flushed mess, uhm? Moaning my name at the top of your lungs, having you completely at my mercy".
#ateez smut#ateez scenarios#ateez imagines#ateez x reader#ateez#yunho x reader#yunho smut#jeong yunho#yunho#ateez yunho
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ACHING TO TOUCH HER
- request
an: based on my experience, don't take it too serious, just some comfort for those insecure (specifically about the body)
ABBY ANDERSON
⋆ would learn to recognize when you're not feeling the nicest and would tell you immediately how pretty you look
"stop looking at yourself in the mirror, you look nice" your hands, resting on your stomach just som seconds ago, moved to the sides of your body. You didn't feel comfortable enough with the clothes you were currently wearing, there was something odd.
You shifted your eyes towards her, taking a deep breath "just nice?" "shut up, come here" her arms extended, making space for you to crawl to her into a very comforting hug, probably what you needed.
⋆ understands how stressful it can be to have those thoughts so she's always patient with you whenever you're having a tough day.
⋆ kisses on your temple whenever you seem off, zoning out while you look at yourself on any reflection, whenever you seem physically uncomfortable, whenever you say words not so nice about yourself. She finds her way to comfort you.
⋆ she's completely in love with everything that makes you, you. Your hair, eyes, nose, strength, size, height. Anything she adores about you because it's you.
⋆ notices the smallest changes on you and compliments them, always.
"your hair looks different today, I like it"
⋆ she knows you, a lot. Would always let you know what looks good on you, what you should try, what changes you should do. And would always be so tender with her words.
"Saw this the other day, though it'll look good on you"
⋆ finds your glasses the sexiest thing ever. Your hair, she adores it, she definitely learns to take care of it properly, to help you comb it, she takes her time with you. Your stomach, she can't help but put her hands on you whenever you wear tight clothes, the way it looks it's the most hot shit she's ever seen and she has to touch it. Thighs, ass, boobs, anything like that, no matter the size, she needs her hands on it, specifically on public.
⋆ has to let you know with actions how much she loves everything about you and your body.
⋆ she finds stretch marks hot so... yeah
⋆ any freckles and moles you have she counts them, memorize them, god she's in love with ur body.
⋆ "pretty girl"
DINA
⋆ she's always calling u lots of compliments. Ass gurllll so, wearing something tight? She'll let you know how hot you look and how much she adores you in that.
"What?" You murmured once you realize how she was practically eye fucking you. She just laughed, shrugging her shoulders "nice ass"
You kept on wearing those jeans, just for her.
⋆ likes showering with you and telling you how much she loves every inch of your body. Cuddling and resting her hands on your stomach or run her fingers trough your arms as she murmurs how gorgeous you are.
⋆ can tell when you're off but gives you space or directly asks you what she can do to help/ does something about it.
"Hey... babe, come here, yeah?" You've been a while just looking at the wall. Today had been exhausting, and looking at your reflection wasn't quite the best idea ever. You felt uncomfortable in your own body, and everything felt so overwhelming.
It wasn't until her arms embraced you, pulling your body towards her, that you realized how much everything was affecting you. What would you do without her?
⋆ Always ask u the reason, worried she said or did something even thought she knows she's never the reason.
⋆ late night talks about it. She wants to know what bothers you so much and what's the background of it.
⋆ eye to eye cuddling while she caresses every inch of your body.
⋆ kisses everywhere everyday all the time
⋆ doesn't allow any mean words to yourself "Hey, don't say that" accompanied with a slightly harsh tap on the side of your arm or over your shoulder
ELLIE WILLIAMS
⋆ always worried about you, the minimum you look sad or off or just not the happiness she's already asking you whats wrong, what happened, did she do something?
"What is It?" "Did I do something?" "C'mon babe" "shhh, it's alright"
⋆ hands and eyes all over your body, all the time
"Can't understand how you don't see how fucking hot you look right now babe"
⋆ learns about patience. She can be pretty harsh sometimes we know that, but she would never ever mess with your appearance, no matter what.
⋆ always takes her time to comfort you on hard days, hearing you without saying a word until you're done. Lots of hugs and kisses for u
⋆ tries to convince you you're the hottest person alive but eventually learns to actually support you based on what you find comforting <3
⋆ breaks her heart to see the disappointment on your face whenever you're not fully comfortable with your clothes, makeup, anything
⋆ always offers you help "want my hoodie?" "Wanna go home babe?"
an:
1- abby finds glasses hot
2- curly haired, fat, black, Latina women? They all drive them crazy, those are facts stfu
#( 𝒢𝒞﹕ 𝐄 x 𝐀 x 𝐃 )#not me describing myself as their type lol#anyways#pure facts i speak#ellie wiliams#abby anderson#dina woodward#dina nolastname#ellie x reader#ellie x y/n#ellie x fem reader#ellie x you#ellie williams x y/n#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams x female reader#ellie williams x you#abby anderson x black reader#abby anderson x y/n#abby anderson x you#abby anderson x reader#dina x masc!reader#dina x you#dina x y/n#dina x fem reader#dina x reader#dina woodward x reader#abby anderson x female reader
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your favorite twilight head cannon and draw it? :)
I have a few related to his design so I'll explain the way I draw him and add some extra headcannons in as a bonus :) [Also read as: I can't pick a favorite HFHFHDKSKI]
The drawing I made for this but forgot about KJHHGDJHVJHG
Design HC:
His hair is a slightly darker and more red version of Time's hair :D
His eyes also glow sometimes. He thinks it's a Twili thing he got somehow.
He has a tattoo on his right arm(Left arm from our pov) that resembles the Twili markings. It took ages to get it done but he's very happy with it :]
On his left arm(right arm to us) he has a few things that not everyone might notice. On his upper arm/shoulder is a scar from where his arm was cut off [inspired by the manga] and on his wrist is a semi-bloody bandage. The bandage is from the metal cuff on Wolfie. The cuff is a little too tight on him and anytime he's tried to take it of has failed. So even while Hylian, the injury acts up and he has to wrap it to prevent infections on the regular. (This will come up later)
He actually only wears one earing(on his right ear, our left) he put the other one on his wolf pelt because he's a nerd and it makes him laugh.
His wolf pelt is made from his own fur actually! He had a few people help him actually get the fur and put it together but now he has a fluffy hoddie with ears!! It also has a tail and he loves it.
He does have the heroes tunic in his pack but he rarely wears it because he thinks he can only wear it when doing proper Hero stuff. When he met the Chain he was still wearing his usual farm outfit and it just stuck. The tunic is still there but he hasn't brought himself to wear it just yet. (He doesn't really want this journey to end and he thinks that wearing the Hero’s getup will make the journey thing official. And Hero’s Journeys always end)
Yes his gloves are two different sizes. He needs the smaller one so he can see how the bandages are easily. The dark blue fabric wasn't doing him any favors at indicating when he should change them.
Extra HC:
Twi tends to use his crossbow a lot more than he uses his sword. He still uses both a lot but he favors the crossbow anyway.
He's ambidextrous! He started learning how to use his sword with his left hand but learned with the right hand so he'd get better with his balance. After his arm was fucked up (and healed) his left arm was much weaker than before so he tended to switch what arm he was using. Left arm for easier, more predictable fights. Right arm for the more difficult, and large fights(bosses). He finished off Ganondorf with both.
He is the embodiment of a puppy. Not entirely, he is still one of the most responsible and adult of the adult Links. He's just- big on the retriever energy and tends to mimic dog/wolf noises/body language on accident.
His full name is Link Falon. A mix of my person hc for Time, who is Link Goldenfall and Molon Lon. He actually doesn’t know, actively, that Falon is his last name. He knows it subconsciously, (forest spirits are talkative like that) but he hasnt heard it since he showed up in Ordon so it hasn’t stuck with him in a while.
He actually found the Shadow Crystal after Midna shattered the mirror. It was found in the castle throne room, where she fought Ganondorf and was given to him by Zelda/Dusk since he knew how to use it safely. The first time he used it again though, he was stuck as a wolf for three days and kept the strange facial markings on his Hylian form after.
Ever since Wild showed up, he’s felt a weird connection to him. He gets a very strange set of deja vu around him and has these random memories of Wild that he knows he shouldn't remember. Wild’s strange reaction to Wolfie set it off originally; so who knows what will happen if Wild lets him reveal the truth of the matter? He isn’t sure if he wants the answer.
I love the Hylian Ambassador Twilight headcannon too so that's also a thing.
He can also kinda understand animals while Hylian. Not as clearly as while a wolf, but still noticeable. He's befriended every animal in Ordon and Castletown and can understand the cats and dogs the easiest.(mainly because goats are little shits and don't like talking to him at all)
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I Dunno What to Do
CW: I'm going to add a picture of a burn one of my healthcare providers gave me, just to express what's going on in general. I'll put everything under a cut.
Tonight, over a phone appointment (because she doesn't think I'm complicated enough to need an in-person appointment) the gynecologist flat out told me that thyroid and estrogen do not interact with each other (not true), that because I had a total hysterectomy I produce "no hormones" and when I sputtered and said I produce lots of hormones, she clarified that I produce no estrogen or progesterone (also not true), and she doesn't deal with anything other than "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness." That is not the nature of my symptoms - I am experiencing pain, and I told her that more than once, but I didn't get any traction until I started saying, "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness" like she wanted. The spouse thought I should make a point of reiterating that my symptoms are atypical, but she cut me off before I could even start.
It's really convenient that I have three doctors "working together" (ha-ha) on this, because nothing is ever any one doctor's responsibility. It's always someone else's problem. I said, "The progesterone helped my pain but increased my anxiety." She said, "Progesterone decreases anxiety." (Once again, not true. It can, but it can also make anxiety worse.) "That sounds like it could be something to do with your thyroid. Until you stabilize your thyroid, we won't know which symptoms are caused by what." I couldn't tell her that my thyroid meds have been stable since last September and the only thing that changed was the progesterone. I physically couldn't - if you cut me off enough times and keep saying things that don't make any sense, my words'll dry up like a wash in the desert - but I don't think it would've made any difference if I handed the phone to the spouse and let him explain. Not a good difference.
Then, in the end, she told me to stop increasing and decreasing my dosage trying to feel better, because it would mess with my thyroid and... I was the one who said that. I contradicted her when she said my thyroid had nothing to do with her. But when she wanted to control my behaviour, she threw it back in my face like she knew and I didn't.
I know my pain is increased and decreased by the hormones I'm taking, because I've been taking various combinations of hormones for years now. No estrogen or progesterone at all, which happened during the early days of the pandemic, caused the worst pain imaginable. I couldn't wear a shirt. I was taping my breasts and wearing sports bras two sizes too small just to keep them compressed and out of the way so nothing would touch them. I did that so much the tape cut my skin. Estrogen and progesterone lessen that pain, but I still have pain.
I've changed the way I carry my whole body and sleep because of this pain. I am always hunching to protect my stupid tits, and I don't reach across my upper body or hold things against my chest or let people hug me, even when I have a good day and they don't hurt so much. I'm that used to it. Because I'm not getting consistent care. And this tortured posture is contributing to my shoulder pain. Now that I've managed to wring estrogen AND progesterone out of this reluctant doctor ("You don't need progesterone unless you have a uterus. It'll make your breast pain worse. You might gain weight." *pointed look*) it hurts less, and I tripped over some exercises that are helping, but my shoulder has been hurting for years now too.
And that brings me back to my family doctor, who is supposed to take the lead and coordinate all these things, and who, in fact, gatekept me from a hormone specialist of any kind for over a year, and then referred me to these people who don't listen and don't seem to understand very basic things about hormones. At least, the gynecologist doesn't - or she's trying to dumb it down so much that she's not making any sense. I hold out some small hope the endocrinologist will see reason if I sit down and explain what's going on, but I won't see him again until March.
But, the very first referral I got from my family doctor was for the shoulder pain. He sent me to a chiropractor. She did multiple adjustments that made my shoulder numb, and burned my back with the TENS unit, probably by using dirty pads or failing to clean my skin before applying them.
Oh, and she didn't tell me. She sent me home, and I noticed the stabbing pain in my shoulder seemed a bit worse. When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I saw this:
I took a picture so I could show her, but I decided not to go back. I went to the family doctor and said, "That chiropractor you sent me to burned my back with the TENS unit" and the response was *crickets*. A blank look and it was back to "prescribing" me more herbs and supplements. He didn't even look at it.
I have scar tissue back there now, and nerve damage that's making it harder to address the original issue. I tried to get healthcare, I didn't ask the right questions or push back hard enough, and I got hurt even worse. Story of my life.
He's still pressuring me to take "sea kelp" because "it has trace minerals." It also has iodine. Lots of it. I told him I wasn't going to take any more iodine because the endocrinologist he sent me to told me it could shut down my thyroid. So now he's telling me to take sea kelp for trace minerals, like I couldn't possibly remember the iodine part. No, I'm not that stupid. I went along with the herbs for a while, too long, because that was the only thing he was offering me, and traditional medicine hadn't helped much at that point. No, turns out I didn't need unregulated OTC supplements, I needed to keep making a pest of myself until I got some real medicine. And I'm still doing that.
I just want to get better. It's hard enough putting in the effort to get better when I've gone through so much medical neglect and so many problems have piled up without being addressed. But I can't put all my energy into self care, or even most of it. I gotta fight my doctors, and do research, and piss them off by questioning their judgment again and again and again.
I suspect my family doctor is al the root of this. He doesn't care, and he refers me to other doctors who don't care. (Except the vision specialist, I found her myself. But the problem with her is, my eye thing is so uncommon most optometrists don't know about it. So I'm stuck with her too.) But I can't get rid of him unless I move to another city... or find another family doctor who's taking new patients, but there aren't any. And the clinics that fill prescriptions and do referrals won't treat me behind his back. I went to one. I tried. "You have a family doctor, he knows you better." No, he doesn't. And if he keeps treating me this way, he's gonna kill me. Or one of 'em is.
I've had doctors try to kill me before. One of 'em got me to take a dose of iron that would've put me in the hospital if a random pharmacist hadn't caught it and told me to stop. This here Canadian healthcare is the best I've ever gotten.
And, oh my god, that is terrifying.
I'm going to make an in-person appointment with the endocrinologist and lay it on the line for him: "This is what's happening. I'm getting contradictory treatment from three sources and my life is in danger. I don't have the authority to sort you out. If you can't take charge of this mess, no one else will." But if that doesn't work, or if he cuts me off before I even say it and goes, "I only treat thyroids" I don't know what I'm gonna do.
I don't like that so much of the fallout lands on my spouse. He lost someone due to this kinda neglect and I do not like hammering his trauma buttons. So I'm venting here, but I don't like doing that either. My problems are so persistent and so stupid that I sound like a scam artist or a nut. (Look, they dropped Agent Orange on my dad and didn't tell him until I was in my thirties. That's at least one big reason my body doesn't work right. I didn't even have a chance.) And he's gonna read this and get upset anyway.
But this is how I'm best able to say things, in text, and I need to say it. Maybe if I practice it here, I'll be able to explain it better to the endocrinologist. Or maybe someone'll see it and tell me some Canadian method of getting rid of an awful doctor that I'm unaware of. Other than waiting for him to get disbarred or die, ya know?
This is essentially the situation I grew up in: the people who are supposed to take care of me don't want to, but they're going to smile and say they are, and any problems I may be having are all my own fault. If I want care, I gotta steal it like Coyote grabbing fire off the gods. 'Cos I need that shit to live. But that takes so much social engineering and effort and I'm so damn tired. I'm not a Trickster or a Hero. I'm hurt. I've been hurt a long time. I ain't never gonna be "normal" but what I've managed to claw out of this broke-ass system proves that I can get better.
If they'd only let me.
#health stuff#healthcare#or the lack thereof#doctors#canada#cw: injury#maybe body horror too i dunno#vent#trying to stay hopeful#oh boy but i'm running out of options#this is more than i've ever had but i'd like to be better instead of less worse#and the difference between those is care
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Inner circle edition
Warnings: tickles, tell me if I need to add anything!
ACOTAR Tickle Headcanons (Pt 2)
General:
- Some members of the inner circle do in fact get lee/ler moods
- Have they actually sat down and discussed this? Probably not, but it's all just unspoken knowledge atp
- Most tickle fights happen between Rhysand and Cassian
Rhysand:
As a ler, dude knows exactly what you want. You want slow, gentle, teasing tickles? He's got you. You want the roughest and hardest and most belly laughter-inducing tickles? He's got you. He always knows when someone is in a lee mood. (Stupid mind powers) He doesn't get specific ler moods, but sometimes he sees someone and he looks at them and maybe they're wearing a crop top or stretching their arms up and he just gets the intense urge to tickle, but it's not really a ler "mood" just an urge to tickle that only appears when someone is doing a lee coded thing. Like wearing a crop top in front of him. He loves touching waists and bellies, this is canon
As a lee, my dude Rhysand turns into a whiny baby. At first he'll act all dignified and "I'm not even ticklish," which progresses into "I'm the High Lord you can't do this to me," to "wait no stOP-" Very manly giggles. Whines about how it tickles and how it's too much and how much you should move to another spot and how you should stop teasing him. Probably tickles you back and you've accidentally launched an all day tickle war. Expects you to cuddle him after. Once again, he doesn't really get lee moods per se, but sometimes he'll see a person talking with their hands or tapping their fingers on the desk and he'll wonder what that'd feel like if it was his belly and not the desk. But it's not really a mood, it's just triggered by people talking in that ler voice.
Cassian:
As a ler, okay, his hands are large. Large hands plus the average size body equals lots of space covered while tickling. This man could tickle your entire stomach and both your sides all at once with one hand. He is rough and playful and probably gives forehead kisses (or peppers the face in kisses if they're dating). All I have to say here is poor Nesta, who only wanted a cup for orange juice and had to reach up, since the cups in the cupboard above the counter. Very playful, very teasing, calls you lots of pet names and flirts with you, and at this point you can't tell whether you're blushing from the flirting or the tickling. Does get ler moods. Often takes them out on Nesta or his brothers.
As a lee, my man is ticklish everywhere. Does not try to hide his laughter at all. He's still flirting through his laughter. Like, you pull his shirt up to tickle his belly? "Hehehey at least tahahake mehehe tohohoho dinner fihihIHIHIRST!" Is very adorable. A sweetheart honestly. Also gets lee moods, so he just goes and annoys Rhysand until he catches on. Pretends to fight back sometimes, he doesn't want his dignity completely down the drain.
Azriel:
As a lee he is very sweet and giggly. He's the type to grab onto your wrists and forget to push you away until it's genuinely too much. At least with the people he's close with. He wants to be whiny like Rhysand, but he just can't get a breath in and can't speak and- why are his shadows helping? Yes, I know, the Shadowsinger gets lee moods. His moods only ever want gentle tickles. He acts slightly more restless when he's in a lee mood, but there's no tell. The only way one can actually figure it out is to tickle him and see if his shadows join in. Hates getting tickled, though. Sees it as an attack on his dignity and reputation. Only allows his brothers to do it. In private, not even the other members of the inner circle are allowed to see.
As a ler, this man is quiet and calculating. He is silent, listening to every change in pitch and tone of your laughter, figuring out which spot and technique makes you the most desperate. But on the good side, he also knows when it's too much before you can even register, because of how skilled his ears are at picking up the tones in your laughter. Very little teasing, which is almost teasing in of itself. Will not tickle anyone unless they explicitly ask. Do not try and drop hints that you want to be tickled to this man, I love him but in this situation, never have I ever met a boy more oblivious. You could walk up to him wearing a shirt that says "I wanna be tickled" and ask if he likes your shirt, and he still won't get it.
Mor:
As a lee, she is so beautiful, her laugh is so beautiful, she blushes such a pretty pink, she's so beautiful. She squirms a lot, and it's very adorable. She doesn't actively go and search out tickles, per se, but I mean, if one of her friends are in the mood to tickle somebody, she's not gonna say no. She just doesn't wanna be rude aha. Cannot handle what she dishes, and thus prefers rougher tickles. I wanna say her ears and elbows are ticklish as well, poor baby. Needs after care or she'll get upset, cuddles, some water, and someone running their fingers through her hair until she falls asleep should suffice.
As a ler, she is downright evil. She only gives the gentlest, lightest, teasing-est of tickles. She uses her Freshly Manicured Nails™️ to make the experience that much better worse. You want gentle tickles? Mor is the girl to go to. She doesn't judge at all in the slightest if someone wants tickles. She coos at you and likes to tease you as if you were a little baby getting tickled for the first time. "Aww look at that smile!" "Your giggles are so cute!" "You're doing so well, sweetie." Mor gets ler moods and will walk up to someone and blatantly ask if she can tickle them. In their confusion as to why someone would outright ask, she asks a little louder, in case they didn't hear her, and then assure them they're allowed to say no. If they say no, it's off to the next person. The order she goes in is usually Rhysand, Azriel, Cassian, Feyre, Amren. If everyone said no, and she's down to Amren, she might suddenly not be in the mood to tickle anymore because is anyone seriously dumb enough to try and tickle Amren? But sometimes she's desperate. I like to think Mor dedicates a "tickle nickname" to people. So for example, she might call Azriel cupcake, but ONLY while tickling him. So then, if she ever calls him cupcake, it flusters him. She's out here classical conditioning her bffs yall
Amren:
So we all know that Amren isn't used to the humanoid body, and because of this, my headcanon is she has no idea what it feels like to be tickled.
As a lee, she has no idea what she's doing. She doesn't have the "Don't you dare" reflex that most people do of trying to get away before they even begin. She doesn't understand what the wiggling fingers mean. And when they start, she attacks, because she feels the fingers and that's what her body tells her to do. She has no control over that. If one was able to successfully pin her down, you'd find that she'd groan and scream and grunt and do anything other than laugh that she could, because her body won't let her for some reason. She needs to be walked through being tickled. She needs things like "I'm gonna tickle your sides now." "What you're feeling is normal, you're okay." "You're doing so good sweetheart." Needs someone to literally hold her hand to squeeze. Even the Inner Circle is afraid to touch Amren, afraid to get bitten or smth, so she doesn't get a whole lot of experience with being a lee. Does she feel left out sometimes? Maybe but we dont talk about it.
As a ler, well, she still has no idea what that even means. But she let's her friends teach her. Cassian will sometimes lay down and instruct Amren on what to do. Or if Cassian and Rhysand are tickle fighting and Cassian has Rhysand pinned, he'll instruct her on how to tickle Rhysand. And sometimes Amren will worry she's hurting her friends because they're making strange noises and pleading "no" and "stop" and "don't" and they're arching their back and trying to get away.
#sfw tickles#sfwtickles#sfw tickling community#rhys acotar#rhysand#lee!Rhysand#lee!Rhys#inner circle#inner circle tickles#acotar tickling#acotar tickle#acotar#ler!Rhysand#ler!Rhys#lee!Cassian#lee!Cas#lee!Cass#ler!Cassian#ler!Cas#ler!Cass#lee!Azriel#lee!Az#ler!Azriel#ler!Az#lee!Morrigan#lee!Mor#ler!Morrigan#ler!Mor#lee!Amren#ler!Amren
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I want phallo so bad. I've dreamt of having both sets of genitals since I learned what genitals were.
But i am so intensely afraid of looking anymore trans than I already do. I can't even confidently wear a packer without fearing someone is going to harass or assault me because I am non binary and even though I try not to look like a "woman" my body is.... so stereotypically "feminine" that I don't know what someone would do if they noticed a bulge in my pants.
Other than the whole "risks of surgery", this I'd a huge reason I'm scared to get phallo. And I'm not sure what to do. Because getting phalloplasty will give me the body I've always dreamed of, but will present me with a new challenge in life that I honestly don't know how to handle as someone who will never pass as someone who "should" have a bulge in their pants...
Okay first, I don't have personal experience in the non binary area. But, I will tell you about when I was not passing and I wore a packer and a binder (idk if you bind or not).
I wore a packer, I always was worried about people feeling it/ touching it. At the time I was not in a trans friendly environment. But I even wore a Stand to Pee packer (STP packer) that allowed me to urinate with my packer. I would avoid bathrooms near my classes most of the time, but use (what I wanted to use) the men's room. Yet in one building I had to use the women's room because I didn't pass. But I was really the only person who would be in the building to use that bathroom. It still stucked, but i was still wearing my packer. I was still called "she/her" while wearing my packer.
It was weird at first, I felt paranoid, but you gain confidence over time. People speak a lot about genitals, but they don't bother to really look. And you can usually buy different sized packers, maybe try a smaller size at first? It is intimidating but there isn't as much bulge as people think, even if you brush by and people touch it (which has happened) they don't know what they touched and whether they did or not they won't say anything. It's just a socially unacceptable thing to bring up, so most people will just move on.
You just be you. Get a packer and try it out, you dont have to wear it everyday if you don't want to. At first try when you're feeling comfortable (at home or to a friends house). You will realize that people actually don't look, or care about genitals as much as you think.
Maybe wearing them with baggy pants at first will help.
I'm not sure if you buy men's pants or women's or both. But men's have space for your genitals that give more space and hide. The zipper makes a bigger buldge to be honest.
If you want to pack I highly suggest men's pants. They have skinny pants and pants that can let's say "imitate" the look of women's jeans but with room for a penis and testicles.
I feel like once you gain confidence wearing a packer you will find it easier to make your decision about phalloplasty.
The nice thing about phalloplasty is you can also pick your own size, many clinics also offer debulking (making your phallis not so thick), and your own size of testicles.
If you are non binary it doesn't matter what is in your pants, people will feel how they will, sadly you can't force them to change if they have negative feelings.
I think being in the trans spectrum we tend to overthink a lot of things, especially revolving around our body parts and genitals.
People dont stare at your crotch, they don't touch it on purpose, someone isn't going to bring up they just touched your genitals, again it's something that we subconsciously find socially unacceptable and awkard to mention and talk about (at least in open company).
Life is like a videogame, if there wasn't any challenges it wouldn't be any fun, or worthwhile.
A new challenge is a new road to pave for those behind you and you to be proud you made.
Also I went to highschool with a cis male who for many people they didn't not know his gender. He looked feminine and talked feminine but had a male name and went by he/him. He was just a gay male. Some people aren't traditionally masculine looking and thats okay. Also there is a condition called Gynecomastia that causes cis men to basically have more chest fat and it seems like they have "breasts".
I think that you should see what life is like wearing a packer, then see how you feel.
I'm sorry if I didn't really help you.
I wish you the best in life, and I believe you will have the body you desire one day.
Stay Golden ✌️ 💙 💜
#Anon ask#Non binary and phalloplasty#Phalloplasty education blog#Phalloplasty resources#Nonbinary#Lgbt#lgbtq#ask me things#Ask#Ask zestual#Non binary and Packing#Packing#Advice#Personal opinion#Educational Purposes
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Aaaanyway on a more serious note,
THINGS I LEARNED THAT HELPED ME KICK MY DISORDERED EATING IN THE ASS: BMI EDITION
-BMI thresholds are arbitrarily harsh. There is some wiggle room both ways for what is too little and what is excess for almost everyone. How much wiggle room one has is unique to them, and affected by genetics. Very few people perfectly fit in the metric.
-BMI is used for gauging the height-to-weight ratio trends of a whole population, not individuals. (See above for why)
-Obesity is real, but that it should be characterized by significant excess of adiposity that can be traced to reduced quality of health and life rather than strictly by the number on the scale.
-On the flip side, signs of significant or prolonged undernourishment (looking at you, hair loss, "keto breath" and "can't lay down on bed because it bruises me") means you need more, BMI be damned even if you're at a supposedly "healthy" BMI.
-BMI is a horrible way to diagnose EDs because EDs are disorders of mental health, not disorders of weight. Weight can be a presentation factor, but the key is the disordered mentality. If your psychiatrist ever simply tells you "you're too heavy to have an ED" when you try to raise concerns without assessing anything else and it makes you spiral wanting to starve yourself harder and worsens your relationship with food, change psychs because that's malpractice.
-BMI is built on a small range of population diversity (read: White European Men Of Relatively Specific Builds) and then rounded down into nice numbers and then using that to retrofit for other ethnicities by "relative risk" and then rounding it to a nice whole number again. If you've ever been taught not to do double rounding in school, you'll know why this doesn't work - it's going to skew your accuracy, and BMI was, again, used to gauge trend. Trend is relative, but tying it to hard numbers and calling it an accurate image of the reality is just wrong.
-If your quality of life improves with a bit of extra weight (within reason) or if you need that bit of extra for your health (e.g. you're chronically ill and it is a good buffer for when you have flare ups and can't eat, and helps you bounce back after) you do it. The computer will always spit out the math and sort you into bins based on hard thresholds and it might flag someone whose BMI is 0.1 too high for "normal" range who is in reality thriving and tell them to lose weight, and it might ignore someone who is still 0.1 in the normal range who might have been experiencing abnormally rapid weight gain that they need investigations for. Or say, it could flag someone who is 0.1 into the underweight threshold who could be perfectly healthy, and doctors would try to tell them to gain weight.
-Also, weight fluctuations day to day mean that chances are if you are near one of the thresholds, you could swing between each side of it within hours of the same day. Not great for an obsessive mind.
-Asian BMI charts are also kind of skewed in the way that its lower thresholds also influence the East/Southeast Asian beauty ideal. Remember those Japanese weight loss ads where the after images were all labelled around ~35kg (77lbs)? Yeah. Or the trend of Chinese women wearing child-sized shirts as crop tops to show off how slim they are? Or the A4 paper waist trend? All bullshit. Nothing beautiful about being so obsessively thin and fragile you can't even be anything but a display porcelain doll without breaking.
Of course, all these points are being said because I used to obsess so hard about the actual number on the scale and the BMI chart and like. That didn't help anyone. Lately I've been doing significantly better (appetite's on a roll, I feel great, and honestly finally really learning to love my body rather than abuse it into thinness through undernutrition) and I figured these were the things I reflected on along the way.
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Hello! I would love a match-up with the following fandoms: Marvel, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter.
I'm pansexual, she/her pronouns. I don't mind being shipped with either gender!
𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔: I'm about 5'5, pale skin, blue/grey eyes, blonde around my face and brown then black at the ends of my hair. I have many many piercings, and I'm covered in tattoos. I'm curvy/plus size and am body positive.
𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔: Reading, writing, collecting rings, journaling, tarot. I'm also collecting as many books as I can because I want to have my own library where people can take whichever book they wish.
𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚: INFJ, Chaotic Good, Gryffindor, Aquarius Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising, Pisces Venus (this last one might help with the match especially). I'm a passionate person and have strong opinions. I will always stand up for what I believe in, no matter how scared I feel. I think I'm quite witty and intelligent, although I do get overwhelmed quite easily. I'm incredibly open-minded and progressive. I love to laugh and make others laugh too. I'm sensitive, and intuitive and can pick up on other people very easily. I have strong gut feelings and kinda ... understand a person's vibe? Like I can sense someone's aura but not see their colour.
𝑨𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄: I love cottagecore, I'm very witchy but also a little grunge and gothic at the same time.
𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: Learning - especially witchcraft, watching tv, day-dreaming, listening and discovering new music. I love being at home, writing and then taking a reading break. I adore baths and constantly buy items from Lush.
𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: (other than the usual injustices of sexism, racism, and homophobia), I strongly dislike spiders and will scream whenever I see one. I don't like close-minded people, or those who make fun of others. I hate passive-aggressiveness, large crowds and loud sudden noises.
𝑳𝒊𝒍 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆:
・Have shaved my head. Asked my stepdad for his clippers and went into the bathroom and ...hacked at my hair. It was very liberating, I think every woman should do it at least once in her lifetime
・I adore animals - I have a cat and dog! I want more but my cat is too much of a princess and won't allow any other animal in the house
・Bought a tattoo gun from the internet and I tattoo myself. I do the majority of my own piercings as well. I like to learn how to do things like that. I've kinda learned how to do hair and do mine, my mum's and my nunna's.
Was this too much? Sorry if it was, it's hard to describe oneself in a post. Thank you very much, I hope you have a wonderful day x
An: I am so happy that you asked for a matchup request @witchthewriter. I hope that you enjoy this.
Marvel:
Your other half is Loki:
(First of let me tell you. Loki, who was a villain, is not your match. Your match is Loki, who becomes a hero and part of the adventures.)
Loki loves you not just for your looks but for your personality.
Loki loves the idea of you creating your own little library. He would definitely trade and borrow books from you.
He loves reading books with you. Sometimes he or you would read out loud to each other right next to the fireplace cuddling.
He would think that all the piercings you did yourself are beautiful even though he will never admit it out loud to himself.
You've caught him multiple times staring at you. And when he knows that you caught him, he would just whistle.
(I don't know why but I can imagine Loki holding your cat and cuddling her, as she purse. Just aww.)
Looky honestly doesn't care about the way you look or what you would wear. I honestly think that he would love you just for who you are. And you can't change my mind.
He just loves seeing you learn witchcraft every day. He would probably help you when you are doing witchcraft. If it is doing tarot readings, doing spells, or learning something completely brand-new with witchcraft.
Loki learns the hard way not to make fun of people or say something mean in front of you. When you are mad, angry, or upset you. He knows that you are his weakness and that you scare the heck out of him.
Honestly, Loki loves you with all his heart no matter what.
Lord of the rings:
Your other half Aragorn:
First of all, you two are the most, sweetest and cutest couple together.
Aragorn thinks that it is fantastic that you have many different types of tattoos.
Aragorn would ask you what the meaning is behind each of the tattoos and where did you get the idea for them.
He would think that your taste in clothing is alluring. But he also considers that you are pretty the way you are, and he doesn't care what people say about you.
Every time Aragon would look into your eyes, he would think they looked like stars.
Aragorn wouldn't care if you were short, tall, skinny, or chubby. He would love you just for who you are.
He would definitely be interested in your love for tarot reading cards.
He would try to keep you safe and away from spiders, especially the big ones in the woods.
Aragorn enjoys seeing you stand up for what you believe in.
He tells you no matter what happens. He'll always be here for you, even if you're scared, mad, or upset.
Overall you two are the sweetest and cutest couple ever, but if someone messes with you guys, you and Aragorn become scary-scary.
Harry Potter:
Your other half is Fred Weasley:
Queue all the sweetest and mischief love you'll get from Fred Weasley.
Fred would think that your tattoos are so cool and awesome.
He would enjoy watching you do a new tattoo on yourself every time you did.
You and Fred would definitely get matching tattoos. (It would be just so cute. Just aww.)
(I don't know why but I can honestly imagine Fred playing with your hair all the time because he thinks it's pretty.)
Fred would think that your taste in clothing looks good on you.
Fred would call you so many nicknames it wouldn't be even funny.
He would have a very long five-page list of nicknames that he would call you.
These would be just a few of the nicknames that he would call the most: my goddess, my shooting star, my little Iris/Poppy, and my goddess.
Fred would enjoy hearing stories that you would tell him from your childhood that were cute or funny.
Fred would ask you to tell him the story of when you shaved your head one time.
You two would definitely, be cuddling if you two were at the burrow, or when you two were at Hogwarts, you guys would cuddle next to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room.
Honestly, you and Fred Weasley are the cutest couple ever. Just so cute.
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6th January 2023
fashion, adapting, coping
This is my 2023 capsule wardrobe. I'm not sure what you'd call the aesthetic, but I had a few different things floating through my head aesthetically when assembling it. While they were still important, aesthetics were not my first consideration because my body chose to be a jerk in 2022. So, I had to appease it.
I've been struggling more than usual recently, physically and emotionally. Not including the personal stuff that I won't get into, my clothing adaptive needs completely changed in 2022. It's been really expensive and generally a bummer.
For years, my KTS necessitated compression, and suddenly, due to my medical issues that would be boring and lengthy to get into, my body can't tolerate compression anymore. So, everything has to be loose--the exact opposite of compression and everything doctors told me I should expect. Years of an adaptive wardrobe I slowly built doesn't work. I hope that's not always true.
For months, I've been feeling not like myself. As my symptoms progressed, my home wardrobe mostly consisted of baggy t-shirts and extremely oversized pajama shorts. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not me. I love using fashion for self expression, and it helps ground me mentally, especially being stuck inside all the time. I've been feeling unmoored and uncomfortable in my body.
I finally found some items, seen above, that are beautiful, gentle, and wearable in bed or out, on the rare occasion I get out. I'm nonbinary, and I tend to present anywhere from androgynous to femme. The bodices are in a size larger than me so they will be loose. The purpose is just to cover my chest as I can't wear normal chest coverings anymore. They are completely soft, free of anything I think would cause a circulation issue and will be hopefully be a solution to the problem.
Dresses like the ones above--free of zippers, no painful elastic bands, breathable, simple off and on, et cetera...are easy to wear. Having that luxury and being able to take joy in their beauty is a rarity. There's usually a trade-off. Even feeling my worst, it's a small happiness to savour that's just for me, a reminder that I haven't completely lost who I am.
I can look in the mirror and still recognise that little part of myself that remains, that shard I guarded and made the conscious effort to preserve. I can draw strength from knowing this ridiculous disease hasn't taken it away from me. It has taken so much else, but it can't have this.
#cottagecore#princesscore#fashion#chronicallyfabulous#frillability#disability#chronic illness#thoughts#adaptive fashion#klippel trenaunay syndrome#lymphedema#hill house home#dôen#doen#costurero real#photo post#text post#chronic pain#actually autistic#crps#romantic fashion#cottagecore fashion#capsule wardrobe#style collage
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It was no surprise that the other would demand a reason to listen her, nor did it surprise her that he pit down a timer of a generous ten minutes. She could tell that they had some things in common, such as wanting to be impressed by whoever is vying for their attention. Though, to his questions he would receive little hums of affirmation.
"Well, first. If you're anything like me in this sense, you have a thirst for knowledge that you want quenched. Second, you know just as much as me the knowledge is power over the people . Third, why would you turn down knowledge from the first of a race? So, listen carefully, because I'm being generous with it and sharing it with you."
A start to her reason for why she was asking for his attention without formally announcing her presence to him or sending a text first. She would finally sit up from the somewhat half heartedly laying position she was in, keeping her arms folded in front of her.
"Well, first thing is is that Evoline are not only Demonic and Draconic, but Vampiric as well. For feeding, our fangs produces both a strong numbing venom to numb the pain of being bitten and an aphrodisiac venom which is well spoken for itself. The incress of the heartbeats pumps more blood around the body which naturally helps with our feedings."
She says with the tone of someone teaching a lesson, standing and stretching. Today she was wearing blue jeans, a low cut black shirt, and finally a pair black leather square heeled boots which gave her a few more inches in height. With a stretch she woudl start walking around some.
"Evoline are capable of turning into dragons that can eat planets, but we can control the size of such. We can control how much we scale over, one form coming with clothes we can change any time and the more full scaled form increases the height of an Evoline by a foot or so."
She would stop where he was, nice and close as she leans in to look at him. Eye to eye, a smirk on her face.
"Due to how rare Evoline are, it shouldt surprise your that we have voracious sex appetite and desires to breed. Heat months vary from Evoline to Evoline and as far as I know an Evolinaa can carry up to a cluch of eggs ranging from one to ten. Even children who aren't evoline do inherent some traits from the Evoline parent."
With that she would step back from him.before walking back and sitting where she originally started, still keeping an eye on him.
"Though, rest can be assured that those children will be far superior to the race of their none Evoline parents. A child with a race that normaly doesn't have viable or useful magic will actually have a rather decent mana reserve and useful magic. An Evolines genetics make sure to scope out all the useful genetics and silence all the useless ones. Any negative traits for example, such weakish bones would be lessened and improves upon with a much tough bone structure."
She was trying to get as much information in in that ten minutes given to her, so naturally she was talking a lot. Though now she would remain silent, as of waiting for any questions.
"Though perhaps, you have more specific knowledge you want to know?"
During the entire time, the woman speaks. He looks at his phone, but that doesn't mean he isn't listening and registering all she says. Always through, he puts a stop to the timer and puts his phone away. His interest has been given. Eventually, silence takes over the room when she finishes speaking.
A grin full of arrogance on his face.
You've said plenty of things, Solveig. Ah, my bad, I guess I should be calling you, wife — now. But I'm happy that you consider me someone worthy having children with. I know you won't admit to the feelings you feel for me, and you don't need to. Regardless, if you ever want to see what a child between us looks like, give me a call. Then the grin let place to a frown and incredible murderous intent directed at the woman. But if you even think for one second about treating any children we have like weapons, I will kill you. Expressionless face returning. So, wife. You've come a long way to tell me important things about what you are. Do you want something to drink, or perhaps you want to ask me things about what I am as well?
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So I've been kinda realizing I'm trans this Summer, or at least more feminine than masculine. And for the most part that's been an incredible experience. One minor gripe I am catching on to however is in the way people assume things about me based on a modern understanding of how 'man' and 'woman' dynamics are built to play out in society. For example, besides the obvious hateful responses, I think the reaction to me saying I'm trans that I find the most annoying usually kind of plays out in this general pattern. 'Oh cool! I and/or My friend is really good at make up so if ever you need to learn anything like that...' Now do not get me wrong, I really appreciate that most people are just trying to be helpful in this and I definitely don't fault any individual on anything, but I take issues with this mentality for two main reasons.
1) I don't recall asking. If I need help with something I will ask you. I've been going through a big style change right now, and occasionally there are instances where I do want to be able to ask a friend for some assistance in finding what I like. But ultimately... I think I'm doing pretty alright with my style by myself. And honestly, even if it doesn't always look 'hot' or 'stylish' to others... it's not for you anyhow. It's for me. I appreciate feedback, but I didn't ask for you to decide these things for me.
2) I don't know what you heard about 'I think in some ways I am a woman' and instantly adopted that into 'I want to be the most stereotypically feminine woman there is' but that's not what I said. Cause newsflash but some woman don't wear make up, or jewelry, or dresses. Why can't me wanting to be a woman be not related to those things? Why does me wanting to self-ID as a woman mean I have to be inclined towards every abstract thing we've decided was feminine for no real reason. Could it not just be about my body, or my identity, or some obscure freedom in style, or about moving away from masculinity, or literally any reason I want it to be. And while I personally don't have much interest in make up for myself, it could happen that I do in the future. But even in the case that I did right now, to find this consistent immediate assumption that I should have to as the 'default' is incredibly obnoxious.
3) You wouldn't say this to a cis-woman. Or at least most people wouldn't. We can, at least conceptually if not always in practice, understand to some degree at least that cis woman are all different people with their own needs and desires that do not have to present in a hyperfeminine way at all times. Why should this be different from how I choose to present my trans-femininity?
Again, I don't blame individual people for these sorts of things. I blame society for this default orientation of thinking that one size fits all for woman (and people in general for that matter). I know that people just want to contribute in some way and are afraid to ask clarifying questions, but at a certain point you have to. Because it's not even a question of being ignorant about trans woman at a certain point. if you haven't asked, then you are ignorant about ME. And I am who you are talking to.
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Aisling McKeen vs Insecurity
—-
Roxanne “Roxie” Richter beamed as she opened her front door and saw her girlfriend, Aisling McKeen. “Hi, you! C’mon in!”
Aisling smiled as she walked into Roxie’s air-conditioned home. “Thanks for the invite, Rox. My AC is on the fritz and the repairman can’t get in until tomorrow.”
“You’re always welcome over here, Ash,” Roxie kissed Aisling’s cheek. “And I have the perfect way to beat this heat.”
Snuggling under the vents?” Aisling asked.
“Nope,” Roxie wrapped her arms around Aisling’s waist. “Ramona’s having a get-together down at Bluffer’s. Wanna go?”
Aisling took a step back. “Y-you mean… go to the beach… with people… wearing bathing suits?”
Roxie frowned. “Ash, are you okay? Is this a Catholic thing?”
Aisling shook her head. “No, no, it’s just… I look terrible in swimwear.”
Roxie blinked. Did she just hear that? “Aisling… why would you say something so crazy?”
Aisling looked away. “Because I do. I don’t have a body made to pull off swimwear.” She gestured to her lanky figure. “I don’t have curvy hips and my chest is built more like a plateau than a mountain range.”
Roxie stepped closer and looked Aisling in the eye. “Aisling McKeen, you are beautiful. You are exactly as your God made you. You are perfect as you are,” she kissed Aisling’s flushed cheek. “And I bet you look amazing in swimwear.”
“You’re just saying that.” Aisling murmured.
“Ramona taught me not to just say anything. Not to the people you care the most about.” Roxie rested her forehead on Aisling’s. “So when I say you look amazing, I mean it.”
Aisling blushed harder. “W-well, even then, I… don't even have a swimsuit.”
“Ooh, sounds like we’re going on a shopping spree,” Roxie looked Aisling over. “I’m sure we can find a decent enough one-piece. Just because I think you’re gorgeous doesn't mean I want you to go against your faith.”
Aisling shook her head. “Rox, I don't want you to go to all that trouble for me.”
“It’s no trouble, Ash,” Roxie hugged her girlfriend. “Look, I’ll make you a deal. Let’s go try on some swimwear and if you don't find one that you feel comfortable in, we won't go.”
After a moment, Aisling nodded. “Okay.”
—
Later, at the local Goodwill, Roxie and Aisling looked through the swimwear section. Roxie pulled out a dark blue one-piece swimsuit with a white sequined fish on the front. “What about this one? You could pair this with a cute sarong and you’ll be the cutest beach babe.”
Aisling eyed it. “I… I guess.” she brought the suit over to the changing rooms. Choosing one of the closet-sized rooms, she turned to Roxie. “No ninja sneaking to peek at me.”
“Oh, relax,” Roxie grinned cheekily. “The doors are high enough that I can see your petite little feet. And that's good enough.”
Asking blushed. “Rox! Not in public!” she dove into the room and locked the door.
After changing into the suit, which fit perfectly, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her arms and legs, normally hidden by her clothes, stood out, pale and thin. She frowned. “Roxie… are you sure you’ll… like what you see?”
“Aisling, I know you’re still new to dating, but you should know by now that I love you for more than just physical reasons. Now, can you please come out so I can see your cuteness?” Roxie asked from the other side of the door..
Aisling took a deep breath. “Okay…” she opened the door.
Upon seeing her girlfriend in swimwear, Roxie put her hands to her cheeks and squealed. “Ash, honey, you look adorable! I knew it!”
Aisling shuffled her feet nervously. “Um… thanks… guess we’re going to the beach, then.”
“Not yet,” Roxie grinned. “I still need to try on a swimsuit for myself. And I want you to give me your honest opinion.”
Aisling nodded. “Fair enough.” she ducked back into the changing room and changed back into her street clothes. She came back out with the swimsuit in her arms. “I’ll be right here… And I won't sneak peeks at your…you know.”
“My piggies you love so much?” Roxie teased.
Aisling whimpered and hid her red face in her hands.
Roxie laughed. “You make it too easy, Ash.” She walked into the room and shut and locked the door behind her.
Aisling sighed and sat against the wall. “Sometimes, Roxie, you’re too much!”
“Aw, come on, Ash! You know I’m only teasing! I like to be playful!” Roxie countered.
“I know…” Aisling relented. “I’m just not used to it.” she was quiet for a moment. “So, um… what kind of swimsuit is it?”
“A plus-sized bikini. Don't worry, everything that needs covering is well hidden. As long as you don't mind a chubby belly.” Roxie replied.
Aisling smiled. “Considering I’ve used that chubby belly as a pillow a time or two, you know how I feel about it.”
After another minute, Roxie unlocked the door, stepped out of the room, and posed. “Well?”
Her bikini top was bright red and the bottom was black, colors that reminded Aisling of Roxie’s ninja outfits. She smiled. “You look cute,” she walked over and gently squeezed Roxie’s chubby belly. “And so does your belly.”
“Aw, Ash…” Roxie hugged her girlfriend. “Let’s head back to my place. I have a cute white sarong you can have that will go great with your new suit.”
“It wasn't Ramona’s, was it?” Aisling teased.
Now it was Roxie’s turn to blush. “…No. Shut up.”
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Hence why I would say he's more of a teddy bear than a bear-bear. My idea of a bear would be... a little hairier? A little more casual wear? Probably tall rather than short? Someone who has a total dad body. Aziraphale is more of a plump, proper, and pampered British guy. In fact, you would never in a thousand years guess that he's strong enough to casually lift a boulder half his size like it's styrofoam.
I've personally always hated how conventional beauty even became a thing. Even with all these pushes to promote more unconventional forms of attractiveness, people still default to wanting super-model hot individuals. I say this as a person who has a more unconventional appearance, and who constantly shifts between feeling attractive in a very unique way, and feeling hideous because it just doesn't seem to be what people want. Growing up, it always felt like people wanted tall, thin, blonde haired and blue eyed individuals. Sharp, small noses, perfect proportions (which usually means very long legs for AFAB), certain jawlines, etc. It still feels this way tbh (I've never met a person with these qualities who struggled to get into a relationship). It kind of shocks me how many people get bent over not having the perfect partner (although said people who want perfection tend to be really toxic). I refuse to change myself just to be more appealing to the masses (in other words, ridding myself of my personality and rejecting my gender identity by caking myself in make-up). But it sucks knowing that being yourself and just being different means getting overlooked. I also came to realize, months after breaking up with my ex, that there were so many signs that they may have been lying about finding me attractive. Literally everyone who knew about this relationship even told me so. So I'm not only overlooked, I'm just a last resort option for those who don't want to be single.
But then I see people get into relationships with super attractive individuals with a lot going for them who... don't seem like they should be getting those individuals? Sometimes, it's an old man with a 20-year-old woman. Sometimes, it's someone who is both very unfortunate appearance wise and doesn't take care of their hygiene. Sometimes, it's a person who is seriously a dysfunctional wreck and should probably be getting help rather than dating someone. Sometimes, it's a person who refuses to work (despite not having a disability) and spends so much time playing video games. Often times, these people don't even have a good personality, or really anything going for them and can even sometimes be abusive in some way. They're the types of people who make chronically single people who want relationships say, "How am I still single?" Attraction is weird, mysterious thing.
And yeah, I agree. I think conventional beauty is boring. I think lots of people look just fine. Even people who might not be considered very attractive. I think there are also lots of people leading unconventional lifestyles and who have "weird" hobbies who also seem fine. TV shows where everyone is a hot af mf are so Goddamn boring. All the characters look and act the same. Hell, even if Crowley is generally agreed upon to be a sexy beast in the fandom, not everything about him is "perfect" or conventionally good looking. He has crooked teeth, for one. Some people hate crooked teeth. I personally think that adds to his cuteness. Perfect, straight, white teeth are overrated anyway. They look unnatural and creepy on most people imo. I'm sure Aziraphale would agree on that sentiment. He seems that type who would find Crowley's imperfect teeth endearing.
Well, I think it makes sense that a confused, amnesiac Gabriel would be drawn to Aziraphale. Azi kind of has that motherly nature about him. He looks like a very safe person to hang around. I would probably feel very comfortable in his presence too. I've even wondered for the longest time if that's something that drew Crowley to him. Why he approached him on the gate in the first place.
In my human AU, Gabriel is Aziraphale's cousin. They grew up spending a lot of time together. Gabriel acts a little bit like a mean brother to him at times. He also works in a higher ranking position than him at the same company, which probably isn't alright legally (idk all the laws on this) but I see it happen all the time irl. He totally got Aziraphale a job he wants, but is still an annoying jerk to him at times. He also acts like he owns the place and thinks everyone loves him.
I also headcanon Gabriel as being on the bisexual spectrum. I'm not really sure why. A lot of people would probably assume he's straight, but I just get a vibe from him. I feel like he would usually be more attracted to feminine and non-binary individuals. And I could just easily see him having a thing for Crowley. Basically seeing him/they/her as that weird, hot goth girl. I know he wouldn't like the fact that Crowley is put off by him, and makes that pretty obvious. Maybe he's even one of those weird men who feels like women who don't like them are a challenge to overcome. Those controlling types who love free-spirited individuals (which is what I seem to attract if I attract anyone at all). Which is... yuck! That's probably what Lucifer was to Crowley. Controlling.
Aziraphale knows how to treat the lovely Crowley. He's a gentleman. He respects his boundaries, forgives him for not being perfect, and appreciates so much about him. Crowley couldn't ask for better. Like I said, Aziraphale does have a lot going for him, on top of having a great personality and treating people right. Gabriel probably resents the fact that he's able to attract people like Crowley.
Aziraphale is so fuckin' beautiful wtf
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Rant ahead:
I saw your post about clothing and I aspire to be like you. I have so many clothes I don’t wear but I’m so afraid to alter them cause in the past when I’ve tried I always ruin it haha.
Also I am becoming more aware and think I am kind of a hoarder (idk if that’s the right word) because it’s not the stereotypical hoarder you think of where they can’t throw away anything and are usually messy. I on the other hand can get rid of things I know are dirty or trash, and I am my very clean and organized, but it’s getting harder to be because I just have so much stuff that I know I don’t need but feel like I (or someone else) spent money on it, I should keep it. And I’m always like what if one day comes where I need/want it? This is definitely a big thing for clothes and shoes but also like I have all my notebooks/ assignments from years ago that realistically I will probably never need again, but then I freak out cause what if I actually do need it.
BABY YOU ARE ME!!! okay i was never a thrifter and an alterer, it's a recent hobby out of pure necessity. but you have to take the plunge! start small, crop a jumper that sits on you funny, add a contrast stitch, shorten a dress. and then as you feel more comfortable and understand the machinations of it branch out, bring in a dress to fit your body shape, buy a larger size skirt and attempt to bring it in. BUT FOR YOUR FIRST MAJOR ALTER BUY A CHEAP CHEAP THING FROM A CHARITY SHOP THAT YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO. also youtibe or tiktok it. that's been a huge huge help god bless the internet haha
honey i am a maximalist through and through. more is more. i want knick knacks, keepsakes, every piece of clothing i've ever worn in case i fall back in love with it. every notebook i've ever touched, i have multiple copies of my favourite books, and if i like something, i want it in ever colour. marie kondo says if it doesn't bring you joy bail on it, but it all brings me joyyyyy.
i also do not plan on changing that i am proud of my ability to make a building/space feel comfortable, feel like a home. i find rooms without personality a red flag. so be proud of it baby. be proud of you.
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AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALING MY SUGGESTION! I get super nervous asking for literally anything so I appreciate everything! If you don’t mind, I have more suggestions. Of course if you don’t like this I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing anything!
I was wondering if you could do a AFAB reader who is medium chested and is really insecure about that with Brahms, Bo, and others of your choice. I love reading your drabbles and such! They make me super happy! I feel like you should know that I am a major Bo Sinclair simp if you couldn’t tell already heh
-Housewife Anon 🧁
love this idea! ur requests are always so fun and thank u so much i'm glad they make you happy! i'm also a major bo simp i get u that man is FINE i would let him do unholy things to me <3
slashers + AFAB! insecure medium chested Reader (including brahms heelshire, bo sinclair, nsfw mentions)
Brahms Heelshire
-he loves every single part of you, and you'll probably have to explain why you're insecure because he genuinely just sees you as perfect - what is there not to like? he doesn't care if your chest isn't as full, you're his gorgeous darling, he would never want to change anything about you <3
-will pay extra attention to your chest after he discovers your insecurity, and never fails to compliment you on how great you look in those low cut tops or tight dresses if you wear them. he loves it most when you're not wearing anything though and he's got free access to them titties your chest <3
Bo Sinclair
-the amount of thinly veiled sexual comments about your chest doesn't change depending on the size. he thinks you're the hottest thing to ever stroll into his little town and he could meet the rest of the world's population and STILL think you're by far the hottest.
-he calls you sugartits constantly sorry i don't make the rules (he does, wink wink). on a more serious note, bo will kiss down your chest anytime you talk negatively about it and leave marks so you'll remember he loves alll of you - "how could i not? you're so sexy, doll" <3
Vincent Sinclair
-safe to say he doesn't judge on looks. he still thinks you're the most gorgeous person in the world and is majorly into body worship so is great at showing you just how perfect your chest is!
-he'll make little figurines of your whole body, having you pose nude for hours so he can get your figure just right. and how can you not love yourself when you see how you look from his point of view? in his eyes, you're an angel, and he'll treat you as such.
#housewife anon#imelda's writing#horror#slasher x reader#slasher#slasher fic#slashers#slasher thirst#bo sinclair#horror movie#horror movies#horror x reader#bo sinclair x reader#house of wax#vincent sinclair x reader#vincent sinclair#brahms heelshire#brahms heelshire x reader#the boy#the boy 2016#brahms the boy
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