#i should always know what size i wear because My body doesn't change that much

[thought-u-said-dragon-queen]

Bro I got new pants (from the men's section, where they allegedly use objective measurements like waist and inseam lengths) and I didn't have time to try them on but they're sized by objective measurements so I thought'no problem,' right? I just grabbed the size and style and brand I already had, that I was wearing a belt with so they'd fit right at that exact moment, and assumed it would be exactly the same BUT IT FUCKING WARNT IT'S TOO SMALL TO GET PAST MY THIGHS BUT IT'S ALLEGEDLY THE EXACT SAME SIZE AS WHAT I ALREADY HAVE THAT PRACTICALLY FALLS OFF WITHOUT A BELT I'M GOING TO BURN DOWN EVERY CLOTHING MANUFACTURER AND DEVOUR EVERYTHING THEY LOVE so now I have to get up early to exchange them before work tomorrow or just wear my same jeans that are starting to rip beyond my ability to fix for another two days before I get a day off :(

[yuyusshinelight]

Dirty thoughts feat j.yh

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♪ First of all clarify that this does NOT represent Yunho in any way, it is pure fiction.

♪ English is not my first language so I apologise for any mistake I could have.

♪ NSFW! I should say that minors can't read this but I can't stop them from reading this so read at your own risk.

♪ I've reviewed it several times but Tumblr hasn't been on my side lately so if there are any errors let me know, thank you🩷🙏🏻

Note: Just another thought about Yunho letting you take control in bed to steal it at the end and fuck you to faint. What can I say? I'm obsessed with this man being rude in bed 🫣. Well, I hope you like it! I love you, my shining stars🩷

Pleasing his girl is what Yunho lives for. Everything his precious princess wants, he'll make sure she gets it.

So if she tells him with those bright eyes and that adorable blush staining her face that she wants to try being in charge tonight while swaying her body from side to side in such a cute way, how is he going to refuse?

Although at first he was not very fan of the idea of changing roles in bed, after thinking it twice Yunho found it interesting. It might be fun to see how his cute submissive girlfriend who blushes for a measly little wink tries to put aside all that shyness and embarrassment to adopt the completely opposite facet she's used to have.

And he was right.

Just one minute and he's already loving how damn pretty you look on top of him. His lovely girlfriend comfortably sitting on his almost erect cock, wearing his favorite pale pink lingerie set that enhances your breasts, making them voluptuous and hugs your body harmoniously, shaping your ass in a so perfectly round way that when he sees you in that he can't keep his hands off you; all blushed and looking so nervous for not knowing how to start.

"Come on, princess, you have me at your mercy. Show me who's in charge" he encourages you in that damn hot voice that he deliberately drops a few octaves lower because he perfectly knows what an effect it has on you. That sultry grimace in his face making clear that, even if he's going to let you lead tonight, he's the real one in charge here.

You're both aware that neither you can take control away from him, nor can he avoid having it, it comes out without himself realizing it. Hey, but since you asked him so sweetly, Yunho is going to make the effort to pretend that he has given it to you; although it doesn't work out very well because he can't stop from moving as he pleases.

"What a bad boy I'm being, no? Touching you without you giving me permission to do it. I deserve a punishment, no? What are you going to do? Tell me" his body comfortably placed between pillows and both hands caressing the soft skin of your thighs as he usually does, giving you a little help so that you know how to continue with this supposed act of dominance.

And you respond well with that attempt to pin him down to the bed. Yes, attempt. Let's not forget the difference in size between you two, your tiny hand cannot hold both of his at the same time. Well, as they say, the intention is what counts.

"Oh princess, your hand is too small to hold both my wrists at the same time, right? It's okay, I'll hold them in place for you" he grins at you, laughing at how cute you look with that new shadow of red in your face and adjusting the position of his arms to keep his hands above his head against the pillows as he usually withholds yours.

With your free hand, because you have not removed the other of his wrists nor do you plan to, you begin to play with the elastic band of his boxers, looking at him for approval unconsciously, not touching his erection no matter how much you want to, waiting patiently for Yunho to beg you like he usually asks you to do when you're in that same position.

"You want me to beg like you always do, princess?" He asks a little incredulously, laughing at that sudden nervousness with which you nod at him "You want to hear me say how desperate I am for your pussy? Is that?" And as you nod again Yunho gives you that mischievous, arrogant smile that makes you melt so easily "Of course babe, I'll tell you how bad I want to feel your perfect gummy walls squeeze my cock so tight in that desperate attempt to milk my balls".

At this point you don't know if you can keep with this act. Your impatient hand gets rid of his boxers as best it can to free his enormous, veiny cock that hits furiously his belly when you release it. It looks so delicious in your hungry eyes that you don't know whether to put it directly into your throbbing walls or choke on it by forcing all his inches deep into your throat.

Well, while you decide what to do first, your hips decide to go free and sit on his hot, twitching cock again to rub along its entire length seeking relief for your needy pulsing clit.

"That's it princess, grind on my cock like that, I'm losing it" his hips following the rhythm of yours in search of relieving that suffocating need to bury his cock so deep in you that his tip hits your stomach.

Thank goodness impatience got the best of you and, although it takes you a little, you've already buried his cock all the way into your pussy.

The feeling of being among your sticky warmth, receiving him so pleasantly in that tight, welcoming embrace makes you both throw your heads back, needing a moment for both of you to adjust to the new not-so-new sensation.

His dick is so big, feeling even bigger when you ride it to the point that normally you can't do it alone; you are used to have the help of his strong hands to guide you at the pace he wants, something with which you can't count now and that Yunho clearly can notice how affects your moves.

"Are we having trouble here? Need some help, love? No? Can you alone? Sure? If you say so" Yunho can't help but laugh at how adorable you look struggling to swing your hips without the help of his hands as usual.

But he's laughing because he really has no other choice.

What a problem has Yunho right now, having you so close and not being able to touch you as he wants. The need to hold you by the neck and bring you closer to his lips so he can devour you properly takes him down the street of bitterness; the desire to pierce your insides is so strong that even his hips begin to move on their own, making you bounce lightly on his cock in search of that much-needed relief.

"Ah? Why stop moving my hips? You can't keep up with my pace? Oh sorry princess, it's true, you were the one leading tonight" He says, stopping a bit unwillingly as you have so kindly asked him to do just to make you bounce on his cock again a few seconds later as he pleases because he wants and he can.

And no matter how hard you are trying to continue, your movements become slower and slower in contrast to his, which gains more and more strength. You want to continue, you want to bring you both to orgasm but your strength abandons you, making you collapse on top of him while you try to catch your breath, now, giving up.

"It's too much for you, right darling? Do you want me to take charge from now on? Of course I don't care, my love. All for my princess" And that's when he flips you over and puts you in a mating press position to reach deeper inside you, your legs on his shoulders but spread enough to let him lie on top of you.

The power with which he fucks you in that position is such that, in your delirium induced by such pleasure to which he is subjecting you, it makes you want more than ever for him to penetrate your poor and abused cervix.

Is that possible? You don't know. If it were, will it hurt? Sure. Yunho is big, too big; there's no possible way that doesn't hurt. Will you like it? More than probable.

"You did so well, princess, looking so hot being in charge" His hips don't stop still for a second, his mission now is to drill your cervix until not a single hint of strength remains in his body "But there's nothing better than how I always turn you a crying flushed mess, uhm? Moaning my name at the top of your lungs, having you completely at my mercy".

[r3starttt]

ACHING TO TOUCH HER

- request

an: based on my experience, don't take it too serious, just some comfort for those insecure (specifically about the body)

ABBY ANDERSON

⋆ would learn to recognize when you're not feeling the nicest and would tell you immediately how pretty you look

"stop looking at yourself in the mirror, you look nice" your hands, resting on your stomach just som seconds ago, moved to the sides of your body. You didn't feel comfortable enough with the clothes you were currently wearing, there was something odd.

You shifted your eyes towards her, taking a deep breath "just nice?" "shut up, come here" her arms extended, making space for you to crawl to her into a very comforting hug, probably what you needed.

⋆ understands how stressful it can be to have those thoughts so she's always patient with you whenever you're having a tough day.

⋆ kisses on your temple whenever you seem off, zoning out while you look at yourself on any reflection, whenever you seem physically uncomfortable, whenever you say words not so nice about yourself. She finds her way to comfort you.

⋆ she's completely in love with everything that makes you, you. Your hair, eyes, nose, strength, size, height. Anything she adores about you because it's you.

⋆ notices the smallest changes on you and compliments them, always.

"your hair looks different today, I like it"

⋆ she knows you, a lot. Would always let you know what looks good on you, what you should try, what changes you should do. And would always be so tender with her words.

"Saw this the other day, though it'll look good on you"

⋆ finds your glasses the sexiest thing ever. Your hair, she adores it, she definitely learns to take care of it properly, to help you comb it, she takes her time with you. Your stomach, she can't help but put her hands on you whenever you wear tight clothes, the way it looks it's the most hot shit she's ever seen and she has to touch it. Thighs, ass, boobs, anything like that, no matter the size, she needs her hands on it, specifically on public.

⋆ has to let you know with actions how much she loves everything about you and your body.

⋆ she finds stretch marks hot so... yeah

⋆ any freckles and moles you have she counts them, memorize them, god she's in love with ur body.

⋆ "pretty girl"

DINA

⋆ she's always calling u lots of compliments. Ass gurllll so, wearing something tight? She'll let you know how hot you look and how much she adores you in that.

"What?" You murmured once you realize how she was practically eye fucking you. She just laughed, shrugging her shoulders "nice ass"

You kept on wearing those jeans, just for her.

⋆ likes showering with you and telling you how much she loves every inch of your body. Cuddling and resting her hands on your stomach or run her fingers trough your arms as she murmurs how gorgeous you are.

⋆ can tell when you're off but gives you space or directly asks you what she can do to help/ does something about it.

"Hey... babe, come here, yeah?" You've been a while just looking at the wall. Today had been exhausting, and looking at your reflection wasn't quite the best idea ever. You felt uncomfortable in your own body, and everything felt so overwhelming.

It wasn't until her arms embraced you, pulling your body towards her, that you realized how much everything was affecting you. What would you do without her?

⋆ Always ask u the reason, worried she said or did something even thought she knows she's never the reason.

⋆ late night talks about it. She wants to know what bothers you so much and what's the background of it.

⋆ eye to eye cuddling while she caresses every inch of your body.

⋆ kisses everywhere everyday all the time

⋆ doesn't allow any mean words to yourself "Hey, don't say that" accompanied with a slightly harsh tap on the side of your arm or over your shoulder

ELLIE WILLIAMS

⋆ always worried about you, the minimum you look sad or off or just not the happiness she's already asking you whats wrong, what happened, did she do something?

"What is It?" "Did I do something?" "C'mon babe" "shhh, it's alright"

⋆ hands and eyes all over your body, all the time

"Can't understand how you don't see how fucking hot you look right now babe"

⋆ learns about patience. She can be pretty harsh sometimes we know that, but she would never ever mess with your appearance, no matter what.

⋆ always takes her time to comfort you on hard days, hearing you without saying a word until you're done. Lots of hugs and kisses for u

⋆ tries to convince you you're the hottest person alive but eventually learns to actually support you based on what you find comforting <3

⋆ breaks her heart to see the disappointment on your face whenever you're not fully comfortable with your clothes, makeup, anything

⋆ always offers you help "want my hoodie?" "Wanna go home babe?"

an:

1- abby finds glasses hot

2- curly haired, fat, black, Latina women? They all drive them crazy, those are facts stfu

[penpenpencil]

your favorite twilight head cannon and draw it? :)

I have a few related to his design so I'll explain the way I draw him and add some extra headcannons in as a bonus :) [Also read as: I can't pick a favorite HFHFHDKSKI]

The drawing I made for this but forgot about KJHHGDJHVJHG

Design HC:

His hair is a slightly darker and more red version of Time's hair :D

His eyes also glow sometimes. He thinks it's a Twili thing he got somehow.

He has a tattoo on his right arm(Left arm from our pov) that resembles the Twili markings. It took ages to get it done but he's very happy with it :]

On his left arm(right arm to us) he has a few things that not everyone might notice. On his upper arm/shoulder is a scar from where his arm was cut off [inspired by the manga] and on his wrist is a semi-bloody bandage. The bandage is from the metal cuff on Wolfie. The cuff is a little too tight on him and anytime he's tried to take it of has failed. So even while Hylian, the injury acts up and he has to wrap it to prevent infections on the regular. (This will come up later)

He actually only wears one earing(on his right ear, our left) he put the other one on his wolf pelt because he's a nerd and it makes him laugh.

His wolf pelt is made from his own fur actually! He had a few people help him actually get the fur and put it together but now he has a fluffy hoddie with ears!! It also has a tail and he loves it.

He does have the heroes tunic in his pack but he rarely wears it because he thinks he can only wear it when doing proper Hero stuff. When he met the Chain he was still wearing his usual farm outfit and it just stuck. The tunic is still there but he hasn't brought himself to wear it just yet. (He doesn't really want this journey to end and he thinks that wearing the Hero’s getup will make the journey thing official. And Hero’s Journeys always end)

Yes his gloves are two different sizes. He needs the smaller one so he can see how the bandages are easily. The dark blue fabric wasn't doing him any favors at indicating when he should change them.

Extra HC:

Twi tends to use his crossbow a lot more than he uses his sword. He still uses both a lot but he favors the crossbow anyway.

He's ambidextrous! He started learning how to use his sword with his left hand but learned with the right hand so he'd get better with his balance. After his arm was fucked up (and healed) his left arm was much weaker than before so he tended to switch what arm he was using. Left arm for easier, more predictable fights. Right arm for the more difficult, and large fights(bosses). He finished off Ganondorf with both.

He is the embodiment of a puppy. Not entirely, he is still one of the most responsible and adult of the adult Links. He's just- big on the retriever energy and tends to mimic dog/wolf noises/body language on accident.

His full name is Link Falon. A mix of my person hc for Time, who is Link Goldenfall and Molon Lon. He actually doesn’t know, actively, that Falon is his last name. He knows it subconsciously, (forest spirits are talkative like that) but he hasnt heard it since he showed up in Ordon so it hasn’t stuck with him in a while.

He actually found the Shadow Crystal after Midna shattered the mirror. It was found in the castle throne room, where she fought Ganondorf and was given to him by Zelda/Dusk since he knew how to use it safely. The first time he used it again though, he was stuck as a wolf for three days and kept the strange facial markings on his Hylian form after.

Ever since Wild showed up, he’s felt a weird connection to him. He gets a very strange set of deja vu around him and has these random memories of Wild that he knows he shouldn't remember. Wild’s strange reaction to Wolfie set it off originally; so who knows what will happen if Wild lets him reveal the truth of the matter? He isn’t sure if he wants the answer.

I love the Hylian Ambassador Twilight headcannon too so that's also a thing.

He can also kinda understand animals while Hylian. Not as clearly as while a wolf, but still noticeable. He's befriended every animal in Ordon and Castletown and can understand the cats and dogs the easiest.(mainly because goats are little shits and don't like talking to him at all)

[nokingsonlyfooles]

I Dunno What to Do

CW: I'm going to add a picture of a burn one of my healthcare providers gave me, just to express what's going on in general. I'll put everything under a cut.

Tonight, over a phone appointment (because she doesn't think I'm complicated enough to need an in-person appointment) the gynecologist flat out told me that thyroid and estrogen do not interact with each other (not true), that because I had a total hysterectomy I produce "no hormones" and when I sputtered and said I produce lots of hormones, she clarified that I produce no estrogen or progesterone (also not true), and she doesn't deal with anything other than "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness." That is not the nature of my symptoms - I am experiencing pain, and I told her that more than once, but I didn't get any traction until I started saying, "hot flashes, night sweats and vaginal dryness" like she wanted. The spouse thought I should make a point of reiterating that my symptoms are atypical, but she cut me off before I could even start.

It's really convenient that I have three doctors "working together" (ha-ha) on this, because nothing is ever any one doctor's responsibility. It's always someone else's problem. I said, "The progesterone helped my pain but increased my anxiety." She said, "Progesterone decreases anxiety." (Once again, not true. It can, but it can also make anxiety worse.) "That sounds like it could be something to do with your thyroid. Until you stabilize your thyroid, we won't know which symptoms are caused by what." I couldn't tell her that my thyroid meds have been stable since last September and the only thing that changed was the progesterone. I physically couldn't - if you cut me off enough times and keep saying things that don't make any sense, my words'll dry up like a wash in the desert - but I don't think it would've made any difference if I handed the phone to the spouse and let him explain. Not a good difference.

Then, in the end, she told me to stop increasing and decreasing my dosage trying to feel better, because it would mess with my thyroid and... I was the one who said that. I contradicted her when she said my thyroid had nothing to do with her. But when she wanted to control my behaviour, she threw it back in my face like she knew and I didn't.

I know my pain is increased and decreased by the hormones I'm taking, because I've been taking various combinations of hormones for years now. No estrogen or progesterone at all, which happened during the early days of the pandemic, caused the worst pain imaginable. I couldn't wear a shirt. I was taping my breasts and wearing sports bras two sizes too small just to keep them compressed and out of the way so nothing would touch them. I did that so much the tape cut my skin. Estrogen and progesterone lessen that pain, but I still have pain.

I've changed the way I carry my whole body and sleep because of this pain. I am always hunching to protect my stupid tits, and I don't reach across my upper body or hold things against my chest or let people hug me, even when I have a good day and they don't hurt so much. I'm that used to it. Because I'm not getting consistent care. And this tortured posture is contributing to my shoulder pain. Now that I've managed to wring estrogen AND progesterone out of this reluctant doctor ("You don't need progesterone unless you have a uterus. It'll make your breast pain worse. You might gain weight." *pointed look*) it hurts less, and I tripped over some exercises that are helping, but my shoulder has been hurting for years now too.

And that brings me back to my family doctor, who is supposed to take the lead and coordinate all these things, and who, in fact, gatekept me from a hormone specialist of any kind for over a year, and then referred me to these people who don't listen and don't seem to understand very basic things about hormones. At least, the gynecologist doesn't - or she's trying to dumb it down so much that she's not making any sense. I hold out some small hope the endocrinologist will see reason if I sit down and explain what's going on, but I won't see him again until March.

But, the very first referral I got from my family doctor was for the shoulder pain. He sent me to a chiropractor. She did multiple adjustments that made my shoulder numb, and burned my back with the TENS unit, probably by using dirty pads or failing to clean my skin before applying them.

Oh, and she didn't tell me. She sent me home, and I noticed the stabbing pain in my shoulder seemed a bit worse. When I looked in the bathroom mirror, I saw this:

I took a picture so I could show her, but I decided not to go back. I went to the family doctor and said, "That chiropractor you sent me to burned my back with the TENS unit" and the response was *crickets*. A blank look and it was back to "prescribing" me more herbs and supplements. He didn't even look at it.

I have scar tissue back there now, and nerve damage that's making it harder to address the original issue. I tried to get healthcare, I didn't ask the right questions or push back hard enough, and I got hurt even worse. Story of my life.

He's still pressuring me to take "sea kelp" because "it has trace minerals." It also has iodine. Lots of it. I told him I wasn't going to take any more iodine because the endocrinologist he sent me to told me it could shut down my thyroid. So now he's telling me to take sea kelp for trace minerals, like I couldn't possibly remember the iodine part. No, I'm not that stupid. I went along with the herbs for a while, too long, because that was the only thing he was offering me, and traditional medicine hadn't helped much at that point. No, turns out I didn't need unregulated OTC supplements, I needed to keep making a pest of myself until I got some real medicine. And I'm still doing that.

I just want to get better. It's hard enough putting in the effort to get better when I've gone through so much medical neglect and so many problems have piled up without being addressed. But I can't put all my energy into self care, or even most of it. I gotta fight my doctors, and do research, and piss them off by questioning their judgment again and again and again.

I suspect my family doctor is al the root of this. He doesn't care, and he refers me to other doctors who don't care. (Except the vision specialist, I found her myself. But the problem with her is, my eye thing is so uncommon most optometrists don't know about it. So I'm stuck with her too.) But I can't get rid of him unless I move to another city... or find another family doctor who's taking new patients, but there aren't any. And the clinics that fill prescriptions and do referrals won't treat me behind his back. I went to one. I tried. "You have a family doctor, he knows you better." No, he doesn't. And if he keeps treating me this way, he's gonna kill me. Or one of 'em is.

I've had doctors try to kill me before. One of 'em got me to take a dose of iron that would've put me in the hospital if a random pharmacist hadn't caught it and told me to stop. This here Canadian healthcare is the best I've ever gotten.

And, oh my god, that is terrifying.

I'm going to make an in-person appointment with the endocrinologist and lay it on the line for him: "This is what's happening. I'm getting contradictory treatment from three sources and my life is in danger. I don't have the authority to sort you out. If you can't take charge of this mess, no one else will." But if that doesn't work, or if he cuts me off before I even say it and goes, "I only treat thyroids" I don't know what I'm gonna do.

I don't like that so much of the fallout lands on my spouse. He lost someone due to this kinda neglect and I do not like hammering his trauma buttons. So I'm venting here, but I don't like doing that either. My problems are so persistent and so stupid that I sound like a scam artist or a nut. (Look, they dropped Agent Orange on my dad and didn't tell him until I was in my thirties. That's at least one big reason my body doesn't work right. I didn't even have a chance.) And he's gonna read this and get upset anyway.

But this is how I'm best able to say things, in text, and I need to say it. Maybe if I practice it here, I'll be able to explain it better to the endocrinologist. Or maybe someone'll see it and tell me some Canadian method of getting rid of an awful doctor that I'm unaware of. Other than waiting for him to get disbarred or die, ya know?

This is essentially the situation I grew up in: the people who are supposed to take care of me don't want to, but they're going to smile and say they are, and any problems I may be having are all my own fault. If I want care, I gotta steal it like Coyote grabbing fire off the gods. 'Cos I need that shit to live. But that takes so much social engineering and effort and I'm so damn tired. I'm not a Trickster or a Hero. I'm hurt. I've been hurt a long time. I ain't never gonna be "normal" but what I've managed to claw out of this broke-ass system proves that I can get better.

If they'd only let me.

[answersfromzestual]

I want phallo so bad. I've dreamt of having both sets of genitals since I learned what genitals were.

But i am so intensely afraid of looking anymore trans than I already do. I can't even confidently wear a packer without fearing someone is going to harass or assault me because I am non binary and even though I try not to look like a "woman" my body is.... so stereotypically "feminine" that I don't know what someone would do if they noticed a bulge in my pants.

Other than the whole "risks of surgery", this I'd a huge reason I'm scared to get phallo. And I'm not sure what to do. Because getting phalloplasty will give me the body I've always dreamed of, but will present me with a new challenge in life that I honestly don't know how to handle as someone who will never pass as someone who "should" have a bulge in their pants...

Okay first, I don't have personal experience in the non binary area. But, I will tell you about when I was not passing and I wore a packer and a binder (idk if you bind or not).

I wore a packer, I always was worried about people feeling it/ touching it. At the time I was not in a trans friendly environment. But I even wore a Stand to Pee packer (STP packer) that allowed me to urinate with my packer. I would avoid bathrooms near my classes most of the time, but use (what I wanted to use) the men's room. Yet in one building I had to use the women's room because I didn't pass. But I was really the only person who would be in the building to use that bathroom. It still stucked, but i was still wearing my packer. I was still called "she/her" while wearing my packer.

It was weird at first, I felt paranoid, but you gain confidence over time. People speak a lot about genitals, but they don't bother to really look. And you can usually buy different sized packers, maybe try a smaller size at first? It is intimidating but there isn't as much bulge as people think, even if you brush by and people touch it (which has happened) they don't know what they touched and whether they did or not they won't say anything. It's just a socially unacceptable thing to bring up, so most people will just move on.

You just be you. Get a packer and try it out, you dont have to wear it everyday if you don't want to. At first try when you're feeling comfortable (at home or to a friends house). You will realize that people actually don't look, or care about genitals as much as you think.

Maybe wearing them with baggy pants at first will help.

I'm not sure if you buy men's pants or women's or both. But men's have space for your genitals that give more space and hide. The zipper makes a bigger buldge to be honest.

If you want to pack I highly suggest men's pants. They have skinny pants and pants that can let's say "imitate" the look of women's jeans but with room for a penis and testicles.

I feel like once you gain confidence wearing a packer you will find it easier to make your decision about phalloplasty.

The nice thing about phalloplasty is you can also pick your own size, many clinics also offer debulking (making your phallis not so thick), and your own size of testicles.

If you are non binary it doesn't matter what is in your pants, people will feel how they will, sadly you can't force them to change if they have negative feelings.

I think being in the trans spectrum we tend to overthink a lot of things, especially revolving around our body parts and genitals.

People dont stare at your crotch, they don't touch it on purpose, someone isn't going to bring up they just touched your genitals, again it's something that we subconsciously find socially unacceptable and awkard to mention and talk about (at least in open company).

Life is like a videogame, if there wasn't any challenges it wouldn't be any fun, or worthwhile.

A new challenge is a new road to pave for those behind you and you to be proud you made.

Also I went to highschool with a cis male who for many people they didn't not know his gender. He looked feminine and talked feminine but had a male name and went by he/him. He was just a gay male. Some people aren't traditionally masculine looking and thats okay. Also there is a condition called Gynecomastia that causes cis men to basically have more chest fat and it seems like they have "breasts".

I think that you should see what life is like wearing a packer, then see how you feel.

I'm sorry if I didn't really help you.

I wish you the best in life, and I believe you will have the body you desire one day.

Stay Golden ✌️ 💙 💜

[blaiddydbrokeit]

Aaaanyway on a more serious note,

THINGS I LEARNED THAT HELPED ME KICK MY DISORDERED EATING IN THE ASS: BMI EDITION

-BMI thresholds are arbitrarily harsh. There is some wiggle room both ways for what is too little and what is excess for almost everyone. How much wiggle room one has is unique to them, and affected by genetics. Very few people perfectly fit in the metric.

-BMI is used for gauging the height-to-weight ratio trends of a whole population, not individuals. (See above for why)

-Obesity is real, but that it should be characterized by significant excess of adiposity that can be traced to reduced quality of health and life rather than strictly by the number on the scale.

-On the flip side, signs of significant or prolonged undernourishment (looking at you, hair loss, "keto breath" and "can't lay down on bed because it bruises me") means you need more, BMI be damned even if you're at a supposedly "healthy" BMI.

-BMI is a horrible way to diagnose EDs because EDs are disorders of mental health, not disorders of weight. Weight can be a presentation factor, but the key is the disordered mentality. If your psychiatrist ever simply tells you "you're too heavy to have an ED" when you try to raise concerns without assessing anything else and it makes you spiral wanting to starve yourself harder and worsens your relationship with food, change psychs because that's malpractice.

-BMI is built on a small range of population diversity (read: White European Men Of Relatively Specific Builds) and then rounded down into nice numbers and then using that to retrofit for other ethnicities by "relative risk" and then rounding it to a nice whole number again. If you've ever been taught not to do double rounding in school, you'll know why this doesn't work - it's going to skew your accuracy, and BMI was, again, used to gauge trend. Trend is relative, but tying it to hard numbers and calling it an accurate image of the reality is just wrong.

-If your quality of life improves with a bit of extra weight (within reason) or if you need that bit of extra for your health (e.g. you're chronically ill and it is a good buffer for when you have flare ups and can't eat, and helps you bounce back after) you do it. The computer will always spit out the math and sort you into bins based on hard thresholds and it might flag someone whose BMI is 0.1 too high for "normal" range who is in reality thriving and tell them to lose weight, and it might ignore someone who is still 0.1 in the normal range who might have been experiencing abnormally rapid weight gain that they need investigations for. Or say, it could flag someone who is 0.1 into the underweight threshold who could be perfectly healthy, and doctors would try to tell them to gain weight.

-Also, weight fluctuations day to day mean that chances are if you are near one of the thresholds, you could swing between each side of it within hours of the same day. Not great for an obsessive mind.

-Asian BMI charts are also kind of skewed in the way that its lower thresholds also influence the East/Southeast Asian beauty ideal. Remember those Japanese weight loss ads where the after images were all labelled around ~35kg (77lbs)? Yeah. Or the trend of Chinese women wearing child-sized shirts as crop tops to show off how slim they are? Or the A4 paper waist trend? All bullshit. Nothing beautiful about being so obsessively thin and fragile you can't even be anything but a display porcelain doll without breaking.

Of course, all these points are being said because I used to obsess so hard about the actual number on the scale and the BMI chart and like. That didn't help anyone. Lately I've been doing significantly better (appetite's on a roll, I feel great, and honestly finally really learning to love my body rather than abuse it into thinness through undernutrition) and I figured these were the things I reflected on along the way.

[mbruben-stein]

Hello! I would love a match-up with the following fandoms: Marvel, Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter.

I'm pansexual, she/her pronouns. I don't mind being shipped with either gender!

𝑭𝒆𝒂𝒕𝒖𝒓𝒆𝒔: I'm about 5'5, pale skin, blue/grey eyes, blonde around my face and brown then black at the ends of my hair. I have many many piercings, and I'm covered in tattoos. I'm curvy/plus size and am body positive.

𝑯𝒐𝒃𝒃𝒊𝒆𝒔: Reading, writing, collecting rings, journaling, tarot. I'm also collecting as many books as I can because I want to have my own library where people can take whichever book they wish.

𝑷𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚: INFJ, Chaotic Good, Gryffindor, Aquarius Sun, Capricorn Moon, Aries Rising, Pisces Venus (this last one might help with the match especially). I'm a passionate person and have strong opinions. I will always stand up for what I believe in, no matter how scared I feel. I think I'm quite witty and intelligent, although I do get overwhelmed quite easily. I'm incredibly open-minded and progressive. I love to laugh and make others laugh too. I'm sensitive, and intuitive and can pick up on other people very easily. I have strong gut feelings and kinda ... understand a person's vibe? Like I can sense someone's aura but not see their colour.

𝑨𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄: I love cottagecore, I'm very witchy but also a little grunge and gothic at the same time.

𝑳𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: Learning - especially witchcraft, watching tv, day-dreaming, listening and discovering new music. I love being at home, writing and then taking a reading break. I adore baths and constantly buy items from Lush.

𝑫𝒊𝒔𝒍𝒊𝒌𝒆𝒔: (other than the usual injustices of sexism, racism, and homophobia), I strongly dislike spiders and will scream whenever I see one. I don't like close-minded people, or those who make fun of others. I hate passive-aggressiveness, large crowds and loud sudden noises.

𝑳𝒊𝒍 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒇𝒂𝒄𝒕𝒔 𝒂𝒃𝒐𝒖𝒕 𝒎𝒆:

・Have shaved my head. Asked my stepdad for his clippers and went into the bathroom and ...hacked at my hair. It was very liberating, I think every woman should do it at least once in her lifetime

・I adore animals - I have a cat and dog! I want more but my cat is too much of a princess and won't allow any other animal in the house

・Bought a tattoo gun from the internet and I tattoo myself. I do the majority of my own piercings as well. I like to learn how to do things like that. I've kinda learned how to do hair and do mine, my mum's and my nunna's.

Was this too much? Sorry if it was, it's hard to describe oneself in a post. Thank you very much, I hope you have a wonderful day x

An: I am so happy that you asked for a matchup request @witchthewriter. I hope that you enjoy this.

Marvel:

Your other half is Loki:

(First of let me tell you. Loki, who was a villain, is not your match. Your match is Loki, who becomes a hero and part of the adventures.)

Loki loves you not just for your looks but for your personality.

Loki loves the idea of you creating your own little library. He would definitely trade and borrow books from you.

He loves reading books with you. Sometimes he or you would read out loud to each other right next to the fireplace cuddling.

He would think that all the piercings you did yourself are beautiful even though he will never admit it out loud to himself.

You've caught him multiple times staring at you. And when he knows that you caught him, he would just whistle.

(I don't know why but I can imagine Loki holding your cat and cuddling her, as she purse. Just aww.)

Looky honestly doesn't care about the way you look or what you would wear. I honestly think that he would love you just for who you are. And you can't change my mind.

He just loves seeing you learn witchcraft every day. He would probably help you when you are doing witchcraft. If it is doing tarot readings, doing spells, or learning something completely brand-new with witchcraft.

Loki learns the hard way not to make fun of people or say something mean in front of you. When you are mad, angry, or upset you. He knows that you are his weakness and that you scare the heck out of him.

Honestly, Loki loves you with all his heart no matter what.

Lord of the rings:

Your other half Aragorn:

First of all, you two are the most, sweetest and cutest couple together.

Aragorn thinks that it is fantastic that you have many different types of tattoos.

Aragorn would ask you what the meaning is behind each of the tattoos and where did you get the idea for them.

He would think that your taste in clothing is alluring. But he also considers that you are pretty the way you are, and he doesn't care what people say about you.

Every time Aragon would look into your eyes, he would think they looked like stars.

Aragorn wouldn't care if you were short, tall, skinny, or chubby. He would love you just for who you are.

He would definitely be interested in your love for tarot reading cards.

He would try to keep you safe and away from spiders, especially the big ones in the woods.

Aragorn enjoys seeing you stand up for what you believe in.

He tells you no matter what happens. He'll always be here for you, even if you're scared, mad, or upset.

Overall you two are the sweetest and cutest couple ever, but if someone messes with you guys, you and Aragorn become scary-scary.

Harry Potter:

Your other half is Fred Weasley:

Queue all the sweetest and mischief love you'll get from Fred Weasley.

Fred would think that your tattoos are so cool and awesome.

He would enjoy watching you do a new tattoo on yourself every time you did.

You and Fred would definitely get matching tattoos. (It would be just so cute. Just aww.)

(I don't know why but I can honestly imagine Fred playing with your hair all the time because he thinks it's pretty.)

Fred would think that your taste in clothing looks good on you.

Fred would call you so many nicknames it wouldn't be even funny.

He would have a very long five-page list of nicknames that he would call you.

These would be just a few of the nicknames that he would call the most: my goddess, my shooting star, my little Iris/Poppy, and my goddess.

Fred would enjoy hearing stories that you would tell him from your childhood that were cute or funny.

Fred would ask you to tell him the story of when you shaved your head one time.

You two would definitely, be cuddling if you two were at the burrow, or when you two were at Hogwarts, you guys would cuddle next to the fireplace in the Gryffindor common room.

Honestly, you and Fred Weasley are the cutest couple ever. Just so cute.

[frillability]

6th January 2023

fashion, adapting, coping

This is my 2023 capsule wardrobe. I'm not sure what you'd call the aesthetic, but I had a few different things floating through my head aesthetically when assembling it. While they were still important, aesthetics were not my first consideration because my body chose to be a jerk in 2022. So, I had to appease it.

I've been struggling more than usual recently, physically and emotionally. Not including the personal stuff that I won't get into, my clothing adaptive needs completely changed in 2022. It's been really expensive and generally a bummer.

For years, my KTS necessitated compression, and suddenly, due to my medical issues that would be boring and lengthy to get into, my body can't tolerate compression anymore. So, everything has to be loose--the exact opposite of compression and everything doctors told me I should expect. Years of an adaptive wardrobe I slowly built doesn't work. I hope that's not always true.

For months, I've been feeling not like myself. As my symptoms progressed, my home wardrobe mostly consisted of baggy t-shirts and extremely oversized pajama shorts. There's nothing wrong with it, but it's not me. I love using fashion for self expression, and it helps ground me mentally, especially being stuck inside all the time. I've been feeling unmoored and uncomfortable in my body.

I finally found some items, seen above, that are beautiful, gentle, and wearable in bed or out, on the rare occasion I get out. I'm nonbinary, and I tend to present anywhere from androgynous to femme. The bodices are in a size larger than me so they will be loose. The purpose is just to cover my chest as I can't wear normal chest coverings anymore. They are completely soft, free of anything I think would cause a circulation issue and will be hopefully be a solution to the problem.

Dresses like the ones above--free of zippers, no painful elastic bands, breathable, simple off and on, et cetera...are easy to wear. Having that luxury and being able to take joy in their beauty is a rarity. There's usually a trade-off. Even feeling my worst, it's a small happiness to savour that's just for me, a reminder that I haven't completely lost who I am.

I can look in the mirror and still recognise that little part of myself that remains, that shard I guarded and made the conscious effort to preserve. I can draw strength from knowing this ridiculous disease hasn't taken it away from me. It has taken so much else, but it can't have this.

[aerial-ace97]

So I've been kinda realizing I'm trans this Summer, or at least more feminine than masculine. And for the most part that's been an incredible experience. One minor gripe I am catching on to however is in the way people assume things about me based on a modern understanding of how 'man' and 'woman' dynamics are built to play out in society. For example, besides the obvious hateful responses, I think the reaction to me saying I'm trans that I find the most annoying usually kind of plays out in this general pattern. 'Oh cool! I and/or My friend is really good at make up so if ever you need to learn anything like that...' Now do not get me wrong, I really appreciate that most people are just trying to be helpful in this and I definitely don't fault any individual on anything, but I take issues with this mentality for two main reasons.

1) I don't recall asking. If I need help with something I will ask you. I've been going through a big style change right now, and occasionally there are instances where I do want to be able to ask a friend for some assistance in finding what I like. But ultimately... I think I'm doing pretty alright with my style by myself. And honestly, even if it doesn't always look 'hot' or 'stylish' to others... it's not for you anyhow. It's for me. I appreciate feedback, but I didn't ask for you to decide these things for me.

2) I don't know what you heard about 'I think in some ways I am a woman' and instantly adopted that into 'I want to be the most stereotypically feminine woman there is' but that's not what I said. Cause newsflash but some woman don't wear make up, or jewelry, or dresses. Why can't me wanting to be a woman be not related to those things? Why does me wanting to self-ID as a woman mean I have to be inclined towards every abstract thing we've decided was feminine for no real reason. Could it not just be about my body, or my identity, or some obscure freedom in style, or about moving away from masculinity, or literally any reason I want it to be. And while I personally don't have much interest in make up for myself, it could happen that I do in the future. But even in the case that I did right now, to find this consistent immediate assumption that I should have to as the 'default' is incredibly obnoxious.

3) You wouldn't say this to a cis-woman. Or at least most people wouldn't. We can, at least conceptually if not always in practice, understand to some degree at least that cis woman are all different people with their own needs and desires that do not have to present in a hyperfeminine way at all times. Why should this be different from how I choose to present my trans-femininity?

Again, I don't blame individual people for these sorts of things. I blame society for this default orientation of thinking that one size fits all for woman (and people in general for that matter). I know that people just want to contribute in some way and are afraid to ask clarifying questions, but at a certain point you have to. Because it's not even a question of being ignorant about trans woman at a certain point. if you haven't asked, then you are ignorant about ME. And I am who you are talking to.

[wholesome-lee-trash]

Inner circle edition

Warnings: tickles, tell me if I need to add anything!

ACOTAR Tickle Headcanons (Pt 2)

General:

- Some members of the inner circle do in fact get lee/ler moods

- Have they actually sat down and discussed this? Probably not, but it's all just unspoken knowledge atp

- Most tickle fights happen between Rhysand and Cassian

Rhysand:

As a ler, dude knows exactly what you want. You want slow, gentle, teasing tickles? He's got you. You want the roughest and hardest and most belly laughter-inducing tickles? He's got you. He always knows when someone is in a lee mood. (Stupid mind powers) He doesn't get specific ler moods, but sometimes he sees someone and he looks at them and maybe they're wearing a crop top or stretching their arms up and he just gets the intense urge to tickle, but it's not really a ler "mood" just an urge to tickle that only appears when someone is doing a lee coded thing. Like wearing a crop top in front of him. He loves touching waists and bellies, this is canon

As a lee, my dude Rhysand turns into a whiny baby. At first he'll act all dignified and "I'm not even ticklish," which progresses into "I'm the High Lord you can't do this to me," to "wait no stOP-" Very manly giggles. Whines about how it tickles and how it's too much and how much you should move to another spot and how you should stop teasing him. Probably tickles you back and you've accidentally launched an all day tickle war. Expects you to cuddle him after. Once again, he doesn't really get lee moods per se, but sometimes he'll see a person talking with their hands or tapping their fingers on the desk and he'll wonder what that'd feel like if it was his belly and not the desk. But it's not really a mood, it's just triggered by people talking in that ler voice.

Cassian:

As a ler, okay, his hands are large. Large hands plus the average size body equals lots of space covered while tickling. This man could tickle your entire stomach and both your sides all at once with one hand. He is rough and playful and probably gives forehead kisses (or peppers the face in kisses if they're dating). All I have to say here is poor Nesta, who only wanted a cup for orange juice and had to reach up, since the cups in the cupboard above the counter. Very playful, very teasing, calls you lots of pet names and flirts with you, and at this point you can't tell whether you're blushing from the flirting or the tickling. Does get ler moods. Often takes them out on Nesta or his brothers.

As a lee, my man is ticklish everywhere. Does not try to hide his laughter at all. He's still flirting through his laughter. Like, you pull his shirt up to tickle his belly? "Hehehey at least tahahake mehehe tohohoho dinner fihihIHIHIRST!" Is very adorable. A sweetheart honestly. Also gets lee moods, so he just goes and annoys Rhysand until he catches on. Pretends to fight back sometimes, he doesn't want his dignity completely down the drain.

Azriel:

As a lee he is very sweet and giggly. He's the type to grab onto your wrists and forget to push you away until it's genuinely too much. At least with the people he's close with. He wants to be whiny like Rhysand, but he just can't get a breath in and can't speak and- why are his shadows helping? Yes, I know, the Shadowsinger gets lee moods. His moods only ever want gentle tickles. He acts slightly more restless when he's in a lee mood, but there's no tell. The only way one can actually figure it out is to tickle him and see if his shadows join in. Hates getting tickled, though. Sees it as an attack on his dignity and reputation. Only allows his brothers to do it. In private, not even the other members of the inner circle are allowed to see.

As a ler, this man is quiet and calculating. He is silent, listening to every change in pitch and tone of your laughter, figuring out which spot and technique makes you the most desperate. But on the good side, he also knows when it's too much before you can even register, because of how skilled his ears are at picking up the tones in your laughter. Very little teasing, which is almost teasing in of itself. Will not tickle anyone unless they explicitly ask. Do not try and drop hints that you want to be tickled to this man, I love him but in this situation, never have I ever met a boy more oblivious. You could walk up to him wearing a shirt that says "I wanna be tickled" and ask if he likes your shirt, and he still won't get it.

Mor:

As a lee, she is so beautiful, her laugh is so beautiful, she blushes such a pretty pink, she's so beautiful. She squirms a lot, and it's very adorable. She doesn't actively go and search out tickles, per se, but I mean, if one of her friends are in the mood to tickle somebody, she's not gonna say no. She just doesn't wanna be rude aha. Cannot handle what she dishes, and thus prefers rougher tickles. I wanna say her ears and elbows are ticklish as well, poor baby. Needs after care or she'll get upset, cuddles, some water, and someone running their fingers through her hair until she falls asleep should suffice.

As a ler, she is downright evil. She only gives the gentlest, lightest, teasing-est of tickles. She uses her Freshly Manicured Nails™️ to make the experience that much better worse. You want gentle tickles? Mor is the girl to go to. She doesn't judge at all in the slightest if someone wants tickles. She coos at you and likes to tease you as if you were a little baby getting tickled for the first time. "Aww look at that smile!" "Your giggles are so cute!" "You're doing so well, sweetie." Mor gets ler moods and will walk up to someone and blatantly ask if she can tickle them. In their confusion as to why someone would outright ask, she asks a little louder, in case they didn't hear her, and then assure them they're allowed to say no. If they say no, it's off to the next person. The order she goes in is usually Rhysand, Azriel, Cassian, Feyre, Amren. If everyone said no, and she's down to Amren, she might suddenly not be in the mood to tickle anymore because is anyone seriously dumb enough to try and tickle Amren? But sometimes she's desperate. I like to think Mor dedicates a "tickle nickname" to people. So for example, she might call Azriel cupcake, but ONLY while tickling him. So then, if she ever calls him cupcake, it flusters him. She's out here classical conditioning her bffs yall

Amren:

So we all know that Amren isn't used to the humanoid body, and because of this, my headcanon is she has no idea what it feels like to be tickled.

As a lee, she has no idea what she's doing. She doesn't have the "Don't you dare" reflex that most people do of trying to get away before they even begin. She doesn't understand what the wiggling fingers mean. And when they start, she attacks, because she feels the fingers and that's what her body tells her to do. She has no control over that. If one was able to successfully pin her down, you'd find that she'd groan and scream and grunt and do anything other than laugh that she could, because her body won't let her for some reason. She needs to be walked through being tickled. She needs things like "I'm gonna tickle your sides now." "What you're feeling is normal, you're okay." "You're doing so good sweetheart." Needs someone to literally hold her hand to squeeze. Even the Inner Circle is afraid to touch Amren, afraid to get bitten or smth, so she doesn't get a whole lot of experience with being a lee. Does she feel left out sometimes? Maybe but we dont talk about it.

As a ler, well, she still has no idea what that even means. But she let's her friends teach her. Cassian will sometimes lay down and instruct Amren on what to do. Or if Cassian and Rhysand are tickle fighting and Cassian has Rhysand pinned, he'll instruct her on how to tickle Rhysand. And sometimes Amren will worry she's hurting her friends because they're making strange noises and pleading "no" and "stop" and "don't" and they're arching their back and trying to get away.

[celticsorcerer1]

Aisling McKeen vs Insecurity

—-

Roxanne “Roxie” Richter beamed as she opened her front door and saw her girlfriend, Aisling McKeen. “Hi, you! C’mon in!”

Aisling smiled as she walked into Roxie’s air-conditioned home. “Thanks for the invite, Rox. My AC is on the fritz and the repairman can’t get in until tomorrow.”

“You’re always welcome over here, Ash,” Roxie kissed Aisling’s cheek. “And I have the perfect way to beat this heat.”

Snuggling under the vents?” Aisling asked.

“Nope,” Roxie wrapped her arms around Aisling’s waist. “Ramona’s having a get-together down at Bluffer’s. Wanna go?”

Aisling took a step back. “Y-you mean… go to the beach… with people… wearing bathing suits?”

Roxie frowned. “Ash, are you okay? Is this a Catholic thing?”

Aisling shook her head. “No, no, it’s just… I look terrible in swimwear.”

Roxie blinked. Did she just hear that? “Aisling… why would you say something so crazy?”

Aisling looked away. “Because I do. I don’t have a body made to pull off swimwear.” She gestured to her lanky figure. “I don’t have curvy hips and my chest is built more like a plateau than a mountain range.”

Roxie stepped closer and looked Aisling in the eye. “Aisling McKeen, you are beautiful. You are exactly as your God made you. You are perfect as you are,” she kissed Aisling’s flushed cheek. “And I bet you look amazing in swimwear.”

“You’re just saying that.” Aisling murmured.

“Ramona taught me not to just say anything. Not to the people you care the most about.” Roxie rested her forehead on Aisling’s. “So when I say you look amazing, I mean it.”

Aisling blushed harder. “W-well, even then, I… don't even have a swimsuit.”

“Ooh, sounds like we’re going on a shopping spree,” Roxie looked Aisling over. “I’m sure we can find a decent enough one-piece. Just because I think you’re gorgeous doesn't mean I want you to go against your faith.”

Aisling shook her head. “Rox, I don't want you to go to all that trouble for me.”

“It’s no trouble, Ash,” Roxie hugged her girlfriend. “Look, I’ll make you a deal. Let’s go try on some swimwear and if you don't find one that you feel comfortable in, we won't go.”

After a moment, Aisling nodded. “Okay.”

—

Later, at the local Goodwill, Roxie and Aisling looked through the swimwear section. Roxie pulled out a dark blue one-piece swimsuit with a white sequined fish on the front. “What about this one? You could pair this with a cute sarong and you’ll be the cutest beach babe.”

Aisling eyed it. “I… I guess.” she brought the suit over to the changing rooms. Choosing one of the closet-sized rooms, she turned to Roxie. “No ninja sneaking to peek at me.”

“Oh, relax,” Roxie grinned cheekily. “The doors are high enough that I can see your petite little feet. And that's good enough.”

Asking blushed. “Rox! Not in public!” she dove into the room and locked the door.

After changing into the suit, which fit perfectly, she looked at herself in the mirror. Her arms and legs, normally hidden by her clothes, stood out, pale and thin. She frowned. “Roxie… are you sure you’ll… like what you see?”

“Aisling, I know you’re still new to dating, but you should know by now that I love you for more than just physical reasons. Now, can you please come out so I can see your cuteness?” Roxie asked from the other side of the door..

Aisling took a deep breath. “Okay…” she opened the door.

Upon seeing her girlfriend in swimwear, Roxie put her hands to her cheeks and squealed. “Ash, honey, you look adorable! I knew it!”

Aisling shuffled her feet nervously. “Um… thanks… guess we’re going to the beach, then.”

“Not yet,” Roxie grinned. “I still need to try on a swimsuit for myself. And I want you to give me your honest opinion.”

Aisling nodded. “Fair enough.” she ducked back into the changing room and changed back into her street clothes. She came back out with the swimsuit in her arms. “I’ll be right here… And I won't sneak peeks at your…you know.”

“My piggies you love so much?” Roxie teased.

Aisling whimpered and hid her red face in her hands.

Roxie laughed. “You make it too easy, Ash.” She walked into the room and shut and locked the door behind her.

Aisling sighed and sat against the wall. “Sometimes, Roxie, you’re too much!”

“Aw, come on, Ash! You know I’m only teasing! I like to be playful!” Roxie countered.

“I know…” Aisling relented. “I’m just not used to it.” she was quiet for a moment. “So, um… what kind of swimsuit is it?”

“A plus-sized bikini. Don't worry, everything that needs covering is well hidden. As long as you don't mind a chubby belly.” Roxie replied.

Aisling smiled. “Considering I’ve used that chubby belly as a pillow a time or two, you know how I feel about it.”

After another minute, Roxie unlocked the door, stepped out of the room, and posed. “Well?”

Her bikini top was bright red and the bottom was black, colors that reminded Aisling of Roxie’s ninja outfits. She smiled. “You look cute,” she walked over and gently squeezed Roxie’s chubby belly. “And so does your belly.”

“Aw, Ash…” Roxie hugged her girlfriend. “Let’s head back to my place. I have a cute white sarong you can have that will go great with your new suit.”

“It wasn't Ramona’s, was it?” Aisling teased.

Now it was Roxie’s turn to blush. “…No. Shut up.”

[lovedetlost]

Rant ahead:

I saw your post about clothing and I aspire to be like you. I have so many clothes I don’t wear but I’m so afraid to alter them cause in the past when I’ve tried I always ruin it haha.

Also I am becoming more aware and think I am kind of a hoarder (idk if that’s the right word) because it’s not the stereotypical hoarder you think of where they can’t throw away anything and are usually messy. I on the other hand can get rid of things I know are dirty or trash, and I am my very clean and organized, but it’s getting harder to be because I just have so much stuff that I know I don’t need but feel like I (or someone else) spent money on it, I should keep it. And I’m always like what if one day comes where I need/want it? This is definitely a big thing for clothes and shoes but also like I have all my notebooks/ assignments from years ago that realistically I will probably never need again, but then I freak out cause what if I actually do need it.

BABY YOU ARE ME!!! okay i was never a thrifter and an alterer, it's a recent hobby out of pure necessity. but you have to take the plunge! start small, crop a jumper that sits on you funny, add a contrast stitch, shorten a dress. and then as you feel more comfortable and understand the machinations of it branch out, bring in a dress to fit your body shape, buy a larger size skirt and attempt to bring it in. BUT FOR YOUR FIRST MAJOR ALTER BUY A CHEAP CHEAP THING FROM A CHARITY SHOP THAT YOU'RE NOT EMOTIONALLY ATTACHED TO. also youtibe or tiktok it. that's been a huge huge help god bless the internet haha

honey i am a maximalist through and through. more is more. i want knick knacks, keepsakes, every piece of clothing i've ever worn in case i fall back in love with it. every notebook i've ever touched, i have multiple copies of my favourite books, and if i like something, i want it in ever colour. marie kondo says if it doesn't bring you joy bail on it, but it all brings me joyyyyy.

i also do not plan on changing that i am proud of my ability to make a building/space feel comfortable, feel like a home. i find rooms without personality a red flag. so be proud of it baby. be proud of you.

[doomh3ad]

AHHH THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR TALING MY SUGGESTION! I get super nervous asking for literally anything so I appreciate everything! If you don’t mind, I have more suggestions. Of course if you don’t like this I don’t want to seem like I’m forcing anything! 

I was wondering if you could do a AFAB reader who is medium chested and is really insecure about that with Brahms, Bo, and others of your choice. I love reading your drabbles and such! They make me super happy! I feel like you should know that I am a major Bo Sinclair simp if you couldn’t tell already heh 

-Housewife Anon 🧁

love this idea! ur requests are always so fun and thank u so much i'm glad they make you happy! i'm also a major bo simp i get u that man is FINE i would let him do unholy things to me <3

slashers + AFAB! insecure medium chested Reader (including brahms heelshire, bo sinclair, nsfw mentions)

Brahms Heelshire

-he loves every single part of you, and you'll probably have to explain why you're insecure because he genuinely just sees you as perfect - what is there not to like? he doesn't care if your chest isn't as full, you're his gorgeous darling, he would never want to change anything about you <3

-will pay extra attention to your chest after he discovers your insecurity, and never fails to compliment you on how great you look in those low cut tops or tight dresses if you wear them. he loves it most when you're not wearing anything though and he's got free access to them titties your chest <3

Bo Sinclair

-the amount of thinly veiled sexual comments about your chest doesn't change depending on the size. he thinks you're the hottest thing to ever stroll into his little town and he could meet the rest of the world's population and STILL think you're by far the hottest.

-he calls you sugartits constantly sorry i don't make the rules (he does, wink wink). on a more serious note, bo will kiss down your chest anytime you talk negatively about it and leave marks so you'll remember he loves alll of you - "how could i not? you're so sexy, doll" <3

Vincent Sinclair

-safe to say he doesn't judge on looks. he still thinks you're the most gorgeous person in the world and is majorly into body worship so is great at showing you just how perfect your chest is!

-he'll make little figurines of your whole body, having you pose nude for hours so he can get your figure just right. and how can you not love yourself when you see how you look from his point of view? in his eyes, you're an angel, and he'll treat you as such.

[jayswritings13]

Helluva: Plus Sized s/o with Verosika

Request: "Heya can you do a chubby (gender neutral) reader with Verosika Mayday if that’s okay with you romantic thanks" by Anon

Note: Verosika may be a bitch, but she's a supportive, body-positive bitch.

💗Masterlist | WIP Page

Verosika Mayday

Have you seen her squad of incubbi and succubi?

Talk about a body-positive queen!

Verosika will go to her grave, saying this, but she has always found individuals of all shapes and sizes sexy.

She wouldn't really say that she preferred one body type over another.

Though, don't get her confused with those people who say that someone's personality is sexy.

She's still all for the body.

Maybe a little too much, at times.

"Why are you hiding behind all of those big sweatshirts?" Verosika said, pulling you closer and closer to her. "You should take it off for something with a little more shape." She purred, a big smirk spread out across her lips.

If you're very confident with your body, Verosika loves to take you to stores and have little fashion shows.

"Now, do you like this because it looks good? Or just because my ass is hanging out?"

"Hmmm~" Verosika grinned, "Both!"

"Fair enough," You muttered.

Whenever you feel insecure, she often pushes you to dress outside your comfort zone, but will totally pull back if you call her out on it and tell her too.

She won't really 100% like it, but she will respect it.

But whenever she notices you wearing something that's even the tiniest bit outside your comfort zone, she makes sure to compliment you more than usual.

Verosika is very understanding if you're insecure.

Or well, she tries her hardest to be.

After all, Verosika just doesn't really understand it, as she absolutely adores your body.

But, she'll be there for support and all the soft hugs and cuddles you could ever want.

"🎵There's a hope that's waiting for you in the dark/You should know you're beautiful just the way you are/And you don't have to change a thing🎵" Verosika softly sang, resting her cheek against the top of your head. "🎵The world could change its heart/No scars to your beautiful/We're stars and we're beautiful🎵"

You never have to worry about Verosika being ashamed of you for your body, as she will defend you no matter what.

Verosika might care about her reputation a lot, but she's not going to let some sleazy reporter or gossip column talk shit about you.

It doesn't matter whether or not you're particularly insecure of your body or 100% love it.

She will not tolerate anyone saying any shit about it.

Any.

"Now, I know that you didn't mean what you said." Verosika growled, barely paying any attention to the demon held in front of her by Vortex. "So, apologize." She sneered, leaning in closer to the demon, keeping her eyes trained on theirs, taking in every moment of pure terror on the demon's face, as she did so.

"I-uh," The demon paused, tearing his eyes off of Verosika, looking over towards you, who stood behind her. "Sorry." The demon said, "Can your hellhound heal, how?"

"Ah...." Verosika chuckled, "Too bad that I don't believe you. Do you, babe?" Verosika glanced over at you, afraid to see that hurt still in your eyes from when the demon criticized your body.

Luckily though, none of that was there, so all Verosika needed was a small nod from you and she'd go ahead with her plan.

"Nope." You said, slipping your hand into Verosika's.

"What?! You lying little bitch. I will end yo-"

"I think we've heard enough out of you. I think Tex here should teach you some manners." Verosika grinned, as Tex took the demon away from the two of you, but even with the demon gone, Verosika keeps her hand in yours.

Actually, both you and Verosika use physical touch as comfort a lot.

You often always reach out for Verosika's hand.

Verosika usually always reaches out for a hug, even if one of those lazily, half hugs.

Often times that's how the two of you end your days, napping somewhere in your apartment or in Verosika's studio, holding each other so close that it's almost as if you're one.

"V, I need to breathe a little here."

"Don't worry if you pass out, I'll just bring you back."

"Oh, yeah and how do you propose doing that?"

"CPR. The kiss of life or some shit like that." She murmured. "You're not leaving me that easily."

"Wouldn't want to, V."

[jungshookz]

maybe, she can drive his car; mechanic!yoongi

➺ pairing; mechanic!yoongi x spoiledbrat!y/n

➺ genre; mechanic!yoongiverse!! sfw!! honk honk humour!! some suggestive behaviour because this is mechanic!yoongi and his y/n we're talking about!! the green-eyed monster inside of y/n is awoken after being dormant for so long and she's ready to bite some heads off

➺ wordcount; 11.6k

➺ summary; yoongi's ex is back in town for a visit and you'd be lying if you said you weren't slightly envious of a) how knowledgeable she is about stupid cars and b) how well she gets along with literally everyone.

➺ what to expect; "right, about that- i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before... you understand, don't you?"

➺ currently spinning on the record player; mustang sally (originally by wilson pickett, covered by andrew strong)

(unfortunately i wasn’t able to track down the original maker of this gif but this is where i sourced it from! all credits go to the original creator of course :-))

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

namjoon usually doesn't pay too much attention to you whenever you're hanging out at the workshop with everyone because of how often you're here, but there's something about the way you're acting today that even he has to admit is oddly very...

cute?

and it's not that you're not cute all the time (because you totally are!!) but it's just that the version of you today in particular is suddenly making him want to go off and find a y/n of his own

"whatcha doing?"

namjoon jolts in surprise when a grimy hand suddenly burrows itself into the warm bag of freshly-popped popcorn that he has cradled to his chest and he scowls before turning his body away slightly

"hey, you're contaminating the popcorn, man-" he huffs, quickly grabbing the mega-sized pack of hand wipes from the desk before plopping it down on the countertop for jungkook, "at least have the decency to wipe your hands before digging into my popcorn- also, i'm watching. duh."

"watching?" jungkook frowns as he sloppily wipes his hands on the front of his shirt, turning to look out the open door, "watching what?"

"yoongi and y/n." namjoon hums, popping a couple of kernels into his mouth with a crunch, "she's been following him around like a little duckling all day."

"mm." jungkook props an elbow up on the counter as he looks towards the two of you before clicking his tongue, "...he must've really given it to her good last night if she's acting like that-"

"okay, now you've ruined the moment-" namjoon frowns, his shoulders dropping slightly before he gestures to you guys, "it's sweet! this is obviously a wholesome thing-"

"call it what you want, but all i'm trying to say is that good sex makes you do crazy things-" jungkook snorts before aggressively shoving a handful of popcorn into his mouth, "cravy phings."

"i'd like to argue that good sex forms a strong emotional bond which explains why there are cartoon hearts currently floating around y/n's head-" namjoon perks up when he notices the way your eyes light up at something yoongi says, "look at her! look at the way she's looking at him!"

"oh, please." jungkook tuts, "that dopey look on her face is telling me that the only thing on her mind is yoongi bending her over the hood of that car and just ramming-"

"namjoon and jungkook are arguing again." you point out, turning to look towards the office just in time to see namjoon throw a handful of popcorn at jungkook only for him to open his mouth and chomp wildly at the air to get some into his mouth

"jungkook probably said something stupid, as per usual." yoongi snorts, leaning over to lock the hood of the car into place before pulling away and taking a look at the situation, "now, let's see what we have going on here..."

when namjoon told him that this was a brake master cylinder repair he immediately felt all the excitement leave his body

he hates doing brake master cylinder repairs

all the parts are so small and the handiwork is super tedious anD the last time he did one of these he took like four hours to get it done

overall it's a pretty boring repair job and as much as he wants to pass it off to one of the others to do, he knows that he's the most skilled with the internal mechanics of a car compared to everyone else which he usually likes to brag about but today he wishes that that wasn't the case

"so what do you have to do?" you frown, stepping over so that you're standing by the side of the car and you're not in yoongi's way, "all the thingies look fine to me."

"well, i actually need to replace the brake master cylinder thingy." yoongi teases, smiling lightly as he points at some kind of container, "there's a leak in the seals, which is pretty common since they wear out after a few years. it should be an easy fix! it'll just take a while, that's all."

luckily, taehyung already took care of the messy part and emptied the fluid from the reservoir for him so now it's time to start the actual repair process

"so does beeper have one of these cylinders in him?" you ask, tilting your head in curiosity

you've never actually taken a look at beeper's under the hood situation before so you wouldn't know

(it feels like he's all naked and exposed whenever yoongi lifts his hood up and you just want to give beeper some privacy, that's all.)

"if beeper didn't have one of these cylinders in him, you wouldn't be able to brake, silly." yoongi snorts, reaching down to unclip the sensor from the reservoir, "see, when you push down on the brake, it pushes a piston through the cylinder and forces hydraulic fluid through the brake lines, which goes to the slave cylinders of each wheel, and then-" he pauses when he notices you've gone all quiet and he turns to see you staring directly at him with a dopey little smile on your face "-what? what'd i say?"

"i like it when you talk shop to me." you giggle quietly, "i mean, i don't understand 98% of the words that come out of your mouth when you do, but i still like it a lot-"

"yeah?" yoongi teases, taking a hand off the edge of the car so he can gesture for you to come closer (and you do, obviously), "you like it when i talk to you about... hm, i don't know..." he feigns cluelessness as he stands up to slink an arm around your waist and bring you towards him while your arms automatically hang loosely around his neck, "how the rubbing of the brake pad against the brake disc generates friction..." he lowers his voice as he sits lightly on the edge of the car and gives your hips a squeeze

"mm, tell me more..." you play along, letting yoongi pull you closer so that you're settled nicely in between his legs

"i don't know, maybe i should save all the good stuff for the bedroom..."

you resist the urge to immediately start whining when you lean in only for yoongi to dodge your kiss, "hey, i like you in these baggy overalls, by the way." he suddenly changes the subject and you feel your cheeks flush when both his hands slide in through the gaps until he's able to grip your bum, "big, big fan of them-"

"you- namjoon and jungkook are right there-" you gawk, "at least have the decency to turn me around so they don't see you fully groping me-"

"they can always just close their eyes or something-"

"okay, you two, break it up-!" you hear namjoon's claps echoing from the office as he tries to get your attention and you immediately turn to look at him with a grin, "god, it's like you sick freaks want to rub it in our faces-"

"okay, i have to get to work so why don't you go and hang out with namjoon in the office?" yoongi stands up, being careful not to hit the top of his head on the hood, "he'll let you play chess on the computer if you ask nicely."

"i thought i was helping you out today!" you frown, grabbing onto his hand before waving it back and forth, "you said i did a good job handing you the tools and stuff. i'm getting better at not mixing all the different types of screwdrivers up!"

yoongi can't help but laugh at how needy you're being and he reaches up with his free hand to adjust his bandana

"i know you wanna help, but i promise you there's nothing exciting about repairing a master cylinder." he hums, reaching up to pinch your cheek playfully, "plus, don't you still have a huge research paper to work on?"

"yeah, but i'd much rather hang out with you..." you pout, yoongi cooing before leaning in to give your pushed-out bottom lip a little kiss

"we can hang out when we're both done with work."

"okay..." you purse your lips before letting go of his hand, "it's your loss. i'm a fantastic helper."

"mhm, you certainly are-" yoongi spins you around before pushing his palm against your lower back to get you to move, "now go and bug namjoon!"

you turn back to glance at yoongi one last time and he sweeps his hands at you to tell you to gO

fine!

it was getting hot in the garage anyway and namjoon always has the aircon blasting in the office

"sorry! only sad, single people are allowed in this area-" namjoon jokes as soon as you step in, gesturing to the office space with a grin, "leave or i'll have security escort you out."

"oh, stop it." you giggle, folding your arms up on the counter and leaning forward, "i keep telling you i'd be more than happy to set you up with one of my friends!!"

"i know, and that's very nice of you to offer, but i just want to find someone organically, you know?" namjoon sighs, leaning back against his chair before looking up at the ceiling wistfully, "being set up with someone doesn't feel like a natural process."

"namjoon thinks he's the main character of a shitty netflix romantic comedy." jungkook mutters, the two of you exchanging low giggles with each other

"well, if no one comes into your life organically you can always let me know and i'll- woah-" you jump in surprise when the sound of a roaring engine suddenly shatters the peaceful atmosphere and you turn around just in time to see a sleek car veering into the shop

you wince and raise a hand to shield your eyes from the bright headlights and you don't get a chance to make the first comment because jungkook beats you to it

(for the record, you were going to talk about how dramatic of an entrance whatever that was)

"oh my god. that is the sexiest car i've ever seen in my entire life." he breathes out, stepping away from the counter so he can stand by the door and get a closer look, "a 1965 mustang. nice."

"fun fact: i was actually thinking about getting a vintage mustang! i wanted an olive green one because i could've named her 'olive' which is super cute-" you nod enthusiastically, looking back and forth between namjoon and jungkook only for them to.,., completely ignore you and continue staring at the glossy mustang sitting out front

"okay, you guys, it's just a car-" you roll your eyes and let out a little snort of disbelief, "this isn't going to change your life or anything-"

a high-heel clad foot steps out of the car and onto the pavement and you immediately recognize the classic red-bottom louboutins

you actually own a pair of them as well but you rarely wear them out because you're always paranoid that you're going to topple over and snap an ankle and that would be completely mortifying

they're six inches tall!!!!

for the record, they look very nice sitting (collecting dust) on your shelf but now you're starting to think that it might be a good idea to wear them out again because this stranger makes it look like walking in them is easy breezy beautiful

"holy shit. is that lisa?" namjoon murmurs, reaching up to push his glasses up the bridge of his nose, "oh, wow. she..."

"i don't remember her looking like that the last time we saw her." jungkook whistles lowly, "hello, miss manoban."

"lisa- who's lisa?" you frown, tilting your head in curiosity as you watch this mysterious lisa toss her oversized sunglasses into the front seat of the car before slamming the door shut

"uh, she's just one of yoongi's exes- she actually used to work here but-" namjoon reaches over the counter so he can nudge you aside gently to get a better look, "when did she get a vintage mustang?!"

lisa leans down to look at herself in the side mirror, smearing some red lipstick over her pillowy bottom lip before rubbing her lips together and nodding satisfactorily

"guess her car-wrapping business really took off." jungkook hums, his eyes glued to the car

she seems to be moving in slow motion as she takes her hair down and shakes her head back and forth, the three of you tilting your heads at the same time as you watch her in awe

"car-wrapping?" you ask curiously, "she must spend a fortune on wrapping paper and giant bows-"

"no, obviously it's not actual wrapping- like-" jungkook huffs and you resist the urge to bop him over the head at how snappy he's being with you when he already knows you're clueless when it comes to this kind of stuff, "okay, you know how you said that if you ever got a g-wagon for yourself one day that you wanted to make it baby blue just like beeper and also matte? lisa could do that for you."

"oh! in that case, it might be nice to get a business card from her or something-" you make a mental note before shaking your head and turning back around to face namjoon, "hey, so, super casual, can we round back to the whole 'yoongi's ex' thing real quickly because i-"

"yoohoo, boys!" lisa whistles, grinning excitedly when she's suddenly joined by everyone outside one by one, "what, no one thought to roll out the red carpet for me?"

"c'mon, namjoon! let's go say hi to lisa and her vintage 'stang!!" jungkook grins, gesturing for namjoon to hurry before he's darting out the door, "lisa, hey!"

"yeah, okay!!" namjoon gets up from his seat so quickly that he sends his chair rolling back and smacking against the file cabinets, "oh, y/n-! if anyone calls, just send them straight to voicemail-"

"but i-" you don't get a chance to say anything before namjoon's brushing past you and dashing out the door as well

you don't know too much about lisa but obviously she's a pretty big deal around here

it'd probably be good for you to go and introduce yourself instead of awkwardly hanging out in the office by yourself

"hello, lisa. it's very nice to meet you. firm handshake." you mutter to yourself as you step out of the office and head towards the bustling group of boys, "hey, lisa! so great to meet you. firm handshake. hi, girlie-! nope, don't like that one-"

"-in town for business so i thought it'd be nice to swing by and visit my boys." you manage to catch the end of lisa's sentences as you join the boys, trying not to make any sudden movements to catch her attention

"you should've texted one of us or something!" namjoon pulls his phone out of his back pocket, "we could've ordered a pizza for lunch-"

you reach over to give the back of yoongi's jumpsuit a little tug just to get his attention and he glances over his shoulder at you before offering you a teasing smile and reaching back to wiggle his fingers against your stomach

you giggle lightly before swatting his hand away and he turns back to look at lisa

"well, i wanted to surprise you guys!" lisa chirps, tucking her clutch underneath her armpit before clapping her hands together, "i see nothing's changed around here... except for..." you feel your heart drop when she suddenly leans over and looks directly at you, "hello! i don't think we've ever met."

"oh, shoot- sorry, i should've introduced you sooner-" yoongi steps aside so that he isn't blocking you, "lisa, this is y/n! y/n, this is lisa." he smiles, gesturing towards lisa, "my girlfriend." he pauses and quickly shakes his head at his little flub-up, "i mean- lisa, this is y/n, my girlfriend-"

"he's definitely gonna pay for that later." jimin mutters, jungkook snickering before nudging at his side to get him to shut up

"it's super nice to meet you, y/n!" lisa doesn't acknowledge yoongi's error and she steps forward to get closer to you

she's practically towering over you but it's really just because of the stilettos

she turns her head to look at the boys and a second of silence goes by before they realize what she's asking of them and they all scatter in different directions

you give yoongi a look that basically screams S.O.S. and you resist the urge to burst into tears when he gives you a cheery thumbs up in return and trots off to go and do something else

okay

you'll be fine

you have nothing to be nervous about!

this is just yoongi's very hot ex who looks like a million bucks while you'e currently dressed like a giant toddler

it doesn't help that you're wearing what's commonly known as a 'baby tee' under these overalls

"you- yeah, you too-" you chuckle uneasily, giving her a weak handshake before pulling away with a smile, "i'm sorry, i'm a little underdressed-" you pause to gesture to the grubby overalls you have on, "i promise i look better than this most of the time..."

"oh, don't be silly. i just grabbed the first outfit i saw out of my suitcase and threw it on-" she sighs, reaching up to pick some lint off her blazer that you're pretty sure you saw in the most recent YSL spring catalog (in fact, you're pretty sure it's on your to-buy list), "so, what do you do?"

"me? i- uh, well, nothing, at the moment- i'm still studying for my undergraduate degree, so..." you shrug sheepishly, reaching up to scratch the back of your neck

for some reason you can't seem to maintain eye contact with her for more than three seconds at a time

"oh! you're still in school?"

"yeah, i- well, i'm graduating this year, so i'm almost out of school if you think about it that way- but yes. yes, i... am currently a university student, so that's what i'm doing."

"mm, cute! what are you studying?"

"history! i'm a history major and a marine biology minor." you nod, "so... the cold war and... like, sharks. something like that."

"ah, very cool."

to be honest you're not entirely sure if lisa's being sincere or not but you'll take the compliment either way

you can tell she's trying to scope you out - which is fair, because this is the first time you two are meeting and you're currently involved with someone she used to be involved with

"i'm sorry. i'm probably, like, freaking you out right now, aren't i?" lisa snorts, reaching out and placing her hand on your forearm for a split second, "i promise i'm just genuinely curious and i'm not trying to, like, interrogate you or anything. it's super nice to meet you! and honestly- i love the overalls. the little knee patches are adorable."

"oh, thank you..." you smile nervously, reaching down to glance at the mismatched patches of fabric sewn onto the knees of your overalls, "yoongi actually sewed 'em on for me! i usually wear this whenever i'm here because i'm okay with getting it dirty- i, um, i like your blazer! and your heels. and your purse- a chanel clutch is a classic!"

"ooh, someone has an eye for fashion..." lisa winks, raising her clutch and waving it slightly, "maybe after i'm done talking business with yoongi we can talk about gucci's new multicolour line-"

"oh, i have so many thoughts on gucci's new multicolour line!" you gasp, suddenly reignited with a spurt of energy, "honestly the colour scheme is very stabilo highlighters to me but we can talk about it later- i'll just be hanging out in the office, so you can find me there whenever you're ready-"

"perfect!" lisa gives you a thumbs up before pointing over to where yoongi is, "if you'll excuse me, i have to go and talk about boring things with yoongi-"

"mhm!" you watch with a smile as lisa click-clacks off towards yoongi before you spin around on your heels, giving yourself a mental pat on the back for how well you handled that interaction

lisa's actually nicer than you thought she'd be!

obviously the saying don't judge a book by its cover is very applicable here

"so... what'd you think of lisa?" namjoon joins your side before nudging you gently, "she's nice, right?"

"i like her! she seems really cool." you nod enthusiastically, pausing to glance over your shoulder to look at her from behind, "i need to ask her for tips on walking in those louboutins and how not to fall over."

"you know, i must say i'm pleasantly surprised at how you're handling this." namjoon snorts, holding back for a second to let you into the office first before he steps in behind you, "colour me impressed!"

"thank you!" you reach over to pull the lollipop jar towards you before suddenly pausing and looking back over at namjoon with a frown, "hold on a sec, what's that supposed to mean?"

"hm? oh, it's nothing." namjoon scrunches his nose, dismissing you with a flick of his wrist as he takes his seat behind the counter, "i just know that if i was in your shoes and my significant other's very attractive and very successful ex came back i would be a little antsy about it-" namjoon glances up from the computer and his eyes widen in panic when he notices that your eyes have widened in panic, "i- i mean- not that you're not very attractive and very successful- what i'm trying to say is that you have nothing to worry- you and yoongi seem like a very stable couple so-"

"do you think maybe you could tell me a bit about yoongi and lisa?" you interrupt his spiral and you feel yourself starting to get a little fidgety, "because i- i actually don't know anything about that situation-"

namjoon has a point, now that you think about it

lisa is very successful and very attractive and can walk in high heels very elegantly

and what about you?

yesterday you submitted a paper one minute before the deadline because of how much procrastinating you had done

and you haven't worn heels in forever because they just hurt so much

but lisa wouldn't complain about her feet hurting in high heels

lisa could have a hundred blisters and still walk into the room with a beautiful, red-lipped smile

"has he never told you about her?" namjoon frowns, "i feel like every couple should at least have one conversation about their past relationships."

"i think he tried to one time, but i- i dunno, you can't blame me for not wanting to sit there and listen to yoongi talking about all the girls he's been with, so i just changed the subject..." you mutter, pushing the jar away from you after pulling a strawberry lollipop out, "kind of regretting that decision now."

it's not like you have a reason to be insecure or anything, right?

your relationship with yoongi is very solid and there are certainly no trust issues or communication issues or anything of the sort

...

but he is your first boyfriend...,., and this is your first serious relationship which means you've had no prior experiences to learn from which means you're just going with the flow most of the time.,., so is it possible that you're being a little naïve right now?

"still, i don't think me telling you all the details of their relationship is a good idea because i feel like this is a conversation you should be having with yoongi-" namjoon chuckles nervously, leaning back against his chair before tucking a pencil behind his ear, "sorry, kiddo. i'm not trying to stir the pot here."

"i- oh, c'mon, joon- what's it gonna take, huh?" you reach into the front pocket of your overalls before subtly flashing a folded up hundred dollar bill, pursing your lips slightly as your eyes flicker back and forth between namjoon and your chest-money, "hm??"

"first of all, it's very concerning to me that you stash loose cash in your pocket like that. second of all, are you really trying to bribe me into telling you about yoongi and lisa?" namjoon asks incredulously

"what?! no!" you scoff, tucking the bill back into your pocket before pausing and raising an eyebrow, "...is it working?"

"no! in fact, i find it offensive that you think i'd be so easily swayed-"

"the next time i bring sushi for lunch, i'll get you your own mango shrimp tempura roll." you offer, namjoon staring at you blankly before he suddenly springs into action

"so, they used to sleep together, obviously." he clears his throat, "when lisa started working here, i kind of expected her to get involved with one of us and unsurprisingly it was yoongi, because... well, it's yoongi- i'm pretty sure it was a friends with benefits kind of thing because i remember asking him about it and he said they didn't want to put a label on it? and then at one point jimin asked lisa about it because all of us were super curious and she called it a 'situationship'... which, personally, i think is a pretty cheesy label- i dunno, they'd go out to dinners sometimes and occasionally they'd come into work together in the morning because- well, you know- uh, they were in this 'situationship' for... maybe, like, eight months? and then lisa got an opportunity to work elsewhere and she took it and they decided to call it off and fast forward to now... here we are!" namjoon claps his hands together before pressing his palm over his heart, "and i promise you that's all the information i have- well, maybe this piece of information might be useful to you: they were, like, super horny for each other all the time. like, almost outrageously horny, which i think is one of the downfalls of the relationship because you can't base a solid relationship off of animalistic sex, right? ooh, there was one time i caught them in yoongi's office and lisa was-"

"okay, i think that's enough-!" you hold a hand out to shut namjoon up and he shrugs before leaning back against his chair, "more than enough, actually-"

you weren't expecting to learn about the raw, animalistic sex yoongi had with lisa, but then again, you weren't expecting to even meet lisa at all

oh, god

should you be nervous??

you shouldn't be nervous, right??

...yeah, you're being ridiculous!

yoongi has been with other girls before and that shouldn't bother you because you didn't exist then

this has nothing to do with you!

so what if he bent her over the office table and-

okay, maybe it's time to stop thinking about this because the point is: you're fine. don't worry. everything is normal. yoongi is your boyfriend. lisa is his ex. everything is great!

"by the way, i want you to know that you honestly have nothing to worry about." namjoon suddenly chimes in as if he can read your mind, "lisa was yoongi's past but you are his present and most likely his future as well, so- seriously, don't even worry about it."

"yeah, you're right. it'd be silly of me to be upset about yoongi being with someone else when i wasn't even in the picture yet." you snort, reaching up to smack your own forehead gently, "okay! i'm feeling a little better. it would've been nice to not be informed about how horny they were for each other, but thank you for that detail-"

"yo, where are the snap ring pliers from my toolbox?" you turn just in time to see yoongi pop his head in, "i can't find them anywhere... i swear to god, everyone keeps borrowing my tools and 'forgetting' to put them back-" he rolls his eyes before looking over at you with a smile, "hi, baby-"

"hi yoongi-" you giggle, all your doubts and insecurities immediately fluttering away

see? nothing to worry about!

phEw

it feels like a weight's been lifted off your shoulders

"i think hoseok might've been using them earlier this morning." namjoon hums, "what do you need them for?"

"oh, lisa offered to help me out with the master cylinder repair and she needs 'em." yoongi points back over his shoulder, "you know how great she is with her hands-"

"woah, i thought-" your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat, "i thought, uh- you were working on it yourself? like, i thought you didn't need any help and that's why i'm in here-"

"oh, i don't, but- well, lisa's good with fine-tuning so i might as well take advantage of her expertise while she's here." yoongi snorts before looking back over at namjoon, "you said hoseok had them?"

"yep!"

you bite down on your tongue to keep yourself from commenting any further

it's fine!

as we've already established, you have nothing to worry about.

...right?

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"and... voilà!" you smile satisfactorily to yourself after you set the scented candle down on the coffee table

the living room is going to smell like warm brown sugar and cinnamon in a few minutes and you can't wait

this is yoongi's favourite candle so you hope he'll be excited about that when he gets here :'))

you've been preparing the apartment for his arrival and lighting the candle was one of the last things on your to-do list

you still have to order dinner for tonight and you've always been awful at making decisions so you figured it'd be best to let yoongi choose instead

you haven't seen him for about a week and a half because of finals (and, being perfectly honest, you were the one who implemented this distancing rule in the first place because you know you won't be able to focus on studying when yoongi's in the apartment with you) so you're pretty pumped for tonight!!

you hum to yourself as you click on yoongi's phone number in your contacts, flopping back on the couch with a fwump! while your legs swing lazily over the arm

"hello?"

the phone picks up after a couple of rings and it takes you a second to realize that the voice on the other end certainly does not belong to your boyfriend

"he-" you pause, pulling your phone away from your ear and frowning at the unfamiliar voice before bringing it back, "um, hello?"

"hi! who's this?"

"who's this?" you point to yourself before scoffing lightly, "what do you mean who- who's this?"

"oh- oh, y/n! hey, it's lisa!" lisa greets enthusiastically and you relax a little knowing that it's just lisa, "sorry, i didn't look at the contact name before picking up- what's up?"

"well, i-" you pause again to recollect your thoughts, "um, sorry, i guess i was just expecting yoongi to pick up his own phone so i'm a little lost right now-"

"oh my gosh, don't even worry about it! yoongi's hands are super gross right now so i offered to take his call for him which is why i picked up the phone. is there something you wanted me to pass along to him?"

"yeah, you could pass his phone right along to him-" you joke before reminding yourself to keep the unnecessary cattiness to a minimum, "yeah, um- can you ask him what time he's coming over? so that i know what time to order our food and stuff? i want the food to still be nice and hot by the time he gets here, so i just need a time from him, that's all-"

"yeah, about that... i actually don't think yoongi's going to make it for dinner."

"i-" you frown, pushing yourself up so that you're leaning back against an elbow, "what? why not?"

"the thing is, i hooked him up with a bunch of clients so the poor thing's been working like a dog all day and it looks like he's going to be stuck here for a while... if you're worried about him skipping dinner, i can totally go and get some food for him if you want! there's this sandwich place a block away and i know what he likes-"

your eyes widen slightly at how... happy? lisa sounds about the fact that yoongi potentially won't be joining you for dinner and you nod to yourself as you clench your jaw

"that's- that's very kind of you, lisa-" your voice is a little pitchier than usual at this point and you clear your throat obnoxiously, "i'm sorry, i just really have to talk to yoongi for a second so if you could just, like, hold the phone up to his ear that would be okay too-"

"okay! gimme a sec." there's a bit of shuffling on the other end and you press your lips together as you wait (im)patiently, "yoongs! it's y/n... dinner... hot food... her place... clients... pretty busy tonight..."

and she even has a nickname for him

that's just downright adorable, isn't it?

"god, just give him the damn phone." you mutter under your breath, raising your other hand to inspect your cuticles as you lie back down on the couch

hm

you should probably schedule another manicure soon

"-it's okay, i can hold the phone myself- y/n?" you perk up when you hear yoongi on the other end and you can't help but kick your legs in excitement

you can't help it!!!

you haven't heard his voice in a whole week and a half!!!

"greetings, yoongs." you tease, "what time are you going to be here?" you bypass lisa's whole monologue about yoongi probably not being able to come over tonight in hopes that she'll be wrong about him ditching you to continue working, "i wanna order the food so it'll get here a little before you arrive. also, i haven't chosen what we're going to eat tonight so you're going to have to choose for us-"

"right, about that-" yoongi clears his throat, "i know i was supposed to come over for dinner tonight but- listen, i don't know what lisa did but obviously she's got a lot of connections now and the shop has literally never been this busy before..." he pauses and you hear the sound of loud clanging in the background, "you understand, don't you?"

it takes you a couple of seconds to process the fact that yoongi really won't be coming over tonight and you puff your cheeks out to keep yourself from immediately whining in protest

to say the least, you are.,.,,. very disappointed,.., but!! it won't be the end of the world, right?

you hate that lisa was right, but that's a conversation you can have with yourself another time

and if yoongi won't be here, that means you can hog all the garlic cheesy bread to yourself so maybe this is a blessing in disguise >:-)

"no, yeah, i- yeah, get it!" you nod, "i love that business is booming, i just don't love that you didn't text me or call me earlier to let me know you weren't going to come over tonight," you frown, turning your head to look at the flickering candle, "a heads up would've been nice, that's all..."

"i asked lisa to text you earlier when my hands were full... sorry, she must've forgot..."

"oh. yeah, i guess it could've slipped her mind." you respond dryly, "it would've taken, like, five seconds to text me-"

"okay, i-" you hear yoongi let out a small sigh before he speaks up again, "i'm sorry, baby, i really am- do you- i can come over now if you want me t-"

"no, it's okay! i'm sorry, i'm just-" you shake your head quickly before chuckling uneasily, "i just haven't seen you in a while so i miss you, that's all- but i'll let you get back to work now and i'll see you later?"

"yes! you are the best, you really are- look, i promise i'll be all yours as soon as i-"

"yoongi! these tires aren't going to change themselves, silly-"

"oh, c'mon-" you grumble, your teeth grinding slightly at the interruption of lisa's peppy voice in the background

"uh- yeah, in a sec-! i gotta go, doll- i'll call you later-"

"okay, b-" you don't get a chance to even say goodbye before the line goes dead and the only thing you can hear is an obnoxious beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep- "-ye."

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

one of your goals for the new year was to try your best to not hold a grudge

admittedly, holding grudges is one of your specialties so it's been a little bit difficult but you think you've been doing an okay job so far!

like that time jungkook accidentally drowned you with dirty car water because he didn't see you and also he had headphones on so he couldn't hear you

you were ready to strangle him right then and there but you just took a deep breath and reminded yourself that *~deep-cleaning services exist~*

and sure, you were a little upset that yoongi couldn't make it for dinner the other night and that the two of you haven't really had a chance to have a moment alone because of how swamped he's been with work, but... well, the past is in the past and challenges like this are good for your personal growth!

plus, it's the start of a new week so you're just going to focus on the present

you try your best to keep your footsteps as quiet as possible as you approach a preoccupied yoongi from behind

he's currently sorting out all the things to do on his giant whiteboard (you bought this for the boys because you thought it'd be a good way to organize all their tasks and unsurprisingly, namjoon was the most excited about it)

"guess who?" you hold your hands over yoongi's eyes with a giddy smile and he immediately spins around to face you

"hey, what are you doing here?" yoongi asks, leaning down to give you a quick kiss before pulling away to check the time on his watch, "aren't you supposed to be in class right now?"

"my history seminar was cancelled because my professor had some kind of an emergency so i thought i'd come and have lunch with you guys!" you hum, reaching over to fix the thin silver chain hanging around yoongi's neck, "i was going to pick the food up before coming here but i didn't want to just choose for everyone so i thought it'd be better to get everyone's orders first-"

"oh, you don't have to do that, baby-" yoongi shakes his head, capping the marker and dropping it back into the wire holder, "lisa actually offered to treat us to lunch- apparently there's some bagel place that has, like, a hundred different fillings-"

"lisa's here?" you interrupt, suddenly straightening your back before looking around quickly, "i... was not aware that lisa was... still here! i thought she was only here for a little while-"

"mm, she ended up extending her stay! one of her clients pushed their appointment to thursday so she came over to help out for the day."

"oh, cool." you nod, pressing your lips together as you take a second to sort through your thoughts

your nose scrunches slightly as you weigh the pros and cons of saying what you're about to say to yoongi

...

it won't kill you to ask, right?

"hey, i don't wanna, um-" you pause, "you know, i don't wanna... be that girlfriend, but... do you think that there's a slight possibility that lisa might still have feelings for you?"

a moment of silence goes by before yoongi practically barks out a laugh of disbelief

"what? lisa? no, no- that- no, don't be ridiculous." he snorts, shaking his head before turning back around to face the whiteboard, "lisa most certainly does not still have feelings for me- and, by the way, she was the one who broke things off with me, so if anything, i should be the one who still has feelings for-" he stops himself midway and presses his lips together before turning to glance at you over his shoulder, "you know, i'm hearing the words coming out of my mouth and i... am going to shut up now."

"mm, good choice." you raise a brow before shrugging, "alright, well, i just- you know, it's a possibility but if you say that lisa doesn't still have feelings for you, then i believe you-"

"alright, boys! it's chow time!"

you turn your head to see lisa waltzing into the shop carrying two large paper bags and the rest of the boys immediately rush over to her like moths to a flame

she brought bagels for lunch?

you're not trying to be biased or anything sandwiches are easier to eat, in your personal opinion

you basically have to unhinge your jaw to get a good bite of a bagel

"y/n!" lisa looks more than surprised at your presence when you and yoongi walk over the join the group, "i wasn't aware you were going to be here today- yoongi told me that you had class so i-" she pauses to set the bags down on the table, "oh my goodness, i am so sorry but i really didn't know you'd be joining us for lunch... yoongi, you could've texted me or something-"

"she just got here!" yoongi shrugs as he takes a seat at the table, "don't pin this on me-"

"ah, i probably look like such a jerk right now..." lisa winces, scratching the back of her head before reaching down to grab a bagel out of one of the paper bags, "here! you can take my bagel-"

"no, no, it's alright!" you hold your hands out before shaking them, "don't be silly, you don't have to do that- it's very nice of you to offer but i- it's alright, you go ahead and enjoy yourself!"

"oh, stop- take the bagel, y/n." lisa scoffs playfully, practically shoving the bagel into your arms before rummaging through the bags again, "i'll just share a bagel with yoongi! you don't mind, right, yoongs?"

"yeah, i had a snack earlier so i'm not, like, starving or anything-" yoongi nods, "what kind of filling is it?"

"this one is..." lisa pauses to look at the sticker on the top, "smoked salmon and dill cream cheese with capers."

"yoongi doesn't like capers." you chime in, suddenly feeling the need to prove to everyone that you know your boyfriend very well, "i remember they were sprinkled in a salad one time and he said they were too salty-"

"eh, i'll survive. i can always just pick 'em out." yoongi shrugs nonchalantly and you can't help but purse your lips in mild frustration at his response

"'atta boy! luckily, they're already sliced in half otherwise we'd have to take turns taking bites which would be weird-"

"agreed." you mutter, peeling the label off your bagel and sticking it onto the side instead

"oh, lisa! i was wondering if maybe you could help me out with some custom headlights i'm working on?" hoseok perks up, "i'm having some trouble getting the halo lights to work and i need your magic hands-"

"mhm! i can definitely check them out after lunch-" lisa grins, taking a seat next to yoongi, "anyone need a napkin?"

"yes, please!"

"i need one too-"

"pass one over here-"

you know it's silly of you to be feeling jealous over this because god knows the only thing you know about cars is that key go in and car go vroom so obviously the boys would never ask you to help them out with anything like how they're asking lisa to help out

and you're trying very hard to noT throw a self-pity party but it's getting harder and harder to not to that

(and it certainly doesn't help that there aren't any more seats left at the table)

you just can't help but feel so!!!!! inferior!!!!! compared to lisa

she's so cool and pretty and witty and obviously very knowledgable about cars

and what are you bringing to the table??

ham and cheese sandwiches??? fancy sushi rolls????

obviously not anymore because they've been replaced by these stupid bagels

this is the first time you haven't been able to throw money at a problem and you're not,.., sure.,., how you feel about it,..,

"i, uh, have to work on a paper, so i think i'm going to go and eat this in the office if anyone wants to come with?" you clear your throat quietly as you start to back away from the table slowly, "...or i can just go fuck myself, which is fine too."

you're not entirely surprised when your comment isn't acknowledged by anyone and you nod to yourself before swiftly turning on your heel and trying your best not to storm towards the office

you force your fists to uncurl and your shoulders to relax slightly but you can't help but make a face when you hear the boys laughing obnoxiously at one of lisa's jokes

of course she has to be funny as well

because the woman literally has zero flaws

you've been trying to find a reason to hate her and so far you haven't found anything negative to say

hating someone for having perfectly styled hair is a little odd

the legs of the chair screech against the floor as you pull it out and plop down

whatever

you like eating alone anyway

you unwrap the parchment paper and pick up the bagel before taking an overly aggressive bite of it, your cheeks practically bursting from how much food is currently in your mouth

you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand as you chew, tossing the bagel back onto the wrapper with a thunk!

...

damnit!

this is the best goddamn bagel you've ever had in your entire life!!

"phtupid phriggin' bavhel." you grumble, reaching up to wipe the sauce off the corner of your mouth before swallowing roughly, "even the mayo is delicious! god, what is this? some kind of garlic mayo-"

"oh my god. i think she's finally lost it." you jolt upon hearing jungkook's voice and you turn to see him and jimin standing at the door

"what's your problem?" jimin asks, the two of them walking over to join you at your sad, lonely table

"what? nothing. i don't have a problem." you shake your head stubbornly, "i just- i just wanted to be alone, that doesn't mean something's wrong-"

"is that why you're in here basically yelling at a bagel?" jungkook points out as he pulls out a chair and sits on your right

"i'm- i'm just stressed about- my paper. or whatever. it's whatever, i'm fine-"

"you can talk to us, you know." you frown when jungkook suddenly reaches over and in an uncharacteristic move, places both hands over yours

"is it about lisa?" jimin asks, crinkling his nose as he sits down as well, "it's about lisa, isn't it?"

"no, it's not-" you press your lips together before letting out a light laugh, "you know, i don't even have a reason to be upset about lisa, right? she's super cool and very nice and knows a lot about cars and is yoongi's age and namjoon blessed me with the knowledge that she, apparently, was a very passionate lover- so i have nothing to be upset about!" you snap, slapping your palm down on the table before wincing and cradling your hand to your chest, "...everything is fine."

"i have to say, i really don't think jealousy is a good look on you." jungkook clicks his tongue before glancing down at your feet, "i also don't know if those shoes are a good look on you- jeez, it's like the people at gucci are just pulling design elements out of a hat-"

"you are not making me feel any better, jungkook- these shoes are new!"

"ooh, you should make him jealous!" jungkook suddenly lights up and the fluorescent light hanging above you guys flickers for a second

"we're going to have to round back to my shoes later because i really don't think they're that bad-"

"you should make him jealous and give him a taste of his own medicine..." jungkook trails off, ignoring your previous comments once again, "it's what you deserve."

"i'm not- i'm not doing that." you chuckle uneasily, "are you serious? this isn't high school and getting him back would just be petty of me-"

"but it'd feel so nice to be petty, don't you think?" jungkook encourages, scooting a little closer to you with a devilish grin, "think about it, y/n. don't you wanna see yoongi get all hot and possessive over you-"

"i don't think it's a good idea." jimin chimes in, shaking his head quickly as he moves in closer as well, "because if yoongi finds out you orchestrated something just to get him back, that might create an issue of trust in the relationship, and that would be very, very bad-"

"oh, but it feels so good to be bad..." jungkook coos, poking your arm with his pointer finger, "so, so good..."

"uh, i don't think so! i'd like to argue that it feels bad to be bad-"

"don't listen to jimin, he's a wuss-"

"don't listen to jungkook, he's an idiot-!"

"okay, cut it out!" you snap, shoving your hands into both their chests to keep them from coming any closer, "i... must admit, i do want to do something to piss yoongi off because of how much he's pissed me off, but... i'm not like that, you know? and i don't want to come off as some crazy girlfriend because-" you pause when you notice jungkook's finger creeping closer and closer to your bagel and you immediately deflate as soon as you realize what's going on here, "oh my god. you guys only came in here because you wanted to try my bagel, didn't you?"

jungkook and jimin exchange knowing glances before looking up at you sheepishly

"yeah, that makes more sense-" you snort, rolling your eyes before pushing the bagel away from you, "have at it, you animals."

you lean back against your chair, stroking your chin in thought as the sound of jungkook and jimin bickering over who gets the bigger half of the bagel starts to fade out

to be petty or not to be petty, that is the question...

»»————- 🛠️ ————-««

(spoiler alert: the answer to the previous question is to be petty. very, very petty.) »»————- 🛠️ ————-««

"namjoon! where did you put my keys??" yoongi calls out, yanking open another drawer to rifle through its contents, "i'm supposed to pick y/n up from campus and i can't find them anywhere... i don't want her to just stand there waiting for me..."

"looking for these?"

yoongi looks up to see lisa standing by the door with his keys in her hand before she tosses them to him

"yes! you're a lifesaver, thanks-" he catches them with one hand before stepping out from behind the counter, "i thought you were leaving today? we already said goodbye to you this morning-"

"yeah, i know-" lisa chuckles as she steps into the office, "it's just that... well, i was going to just leave but i actually had something i needed to talk to you about before i left. i felt it wouldn't be fair to either one of us if i didn't say anything."

"mm. what's up?" yoongi hums, sticking his hand into the lollipop jar to pull a cherry flavoured one out

he pulls another one out before tucking it into his pocket (one for you when he picks you up!)

"well, i guess i should just go ahead and say it- just gotta rip the bandaid off-" lisa straightens her blazer before clearing her throat, "yes."

"...yes?" yoongi frowns, unwrapping his lollipop before popping it into his mouth and scrunching up the wrapper, "i'm not following. yes to what?"

"oh, don't play dumb-" lisa snorts, flicking her wrist at him, "yes, as in: i would love to rekindle our friends with benefits situationship-"

"woah, what?!" yoongi immediately chokes and he yanks the lollipop out of his mouth before patting his chest roughly, "what are you- what the hell are you talking about??"

"what do you mean what the hell am i talking about??" lisa stares at him incredulously before shaking her head, "you're the one who's been giving me secret signals all week-"

"signals-" yoongi's gawks, "what signals??"

"you know, like, how you cancelled dinner plans with her so you could be with me..." lisa croons, taking a step closer towards him

"i cancelled dinner plans with y/n so i could be with twenty cars-" yoongi inches to the side so he can make a quick getaway to run behind the counter in case lisa pounces, "which, i'm realizing doesn't make me sound like the best boyfriend but- i most certainly didn't cancel just to spend private time with you, no offence-"

"what about when we shared a bagel and you didn't complain about the capers??" lisa snaps, lunging towards yoongi only for him to quickly spin out of the way and hurry to get behind the counter

"uh, we shared a bagel because i wasn't hungry for a full bagel and i thought you weren't either, and also-" yoongi grabs namjoon's wheely chair as a makeshift barrier between him and lisa, "i'm a grown man, i'm not going to throw a fit over some friggin' capers-"

"how about when i squeezed your arm and asked you if you'd been working out and you totally flexed your arm for me??" lisa grabs the arms of the chair before yanking and aggressively rolling it behind her, yoongi's eyes widening in panic at the sudden empty space in between the two of them

"i flexed it to prove to you that i have indeed been working out-!" yoongi hops up onto the counter as soon as lisa darts towards him and he hurries to jump off so he's on the other side of it, knocking the phone and namjoon's pen holder down onto the ground in the process, "friends can ask each other if they've been hitting the gym!! i squeeze namjoon's arms all the time because his biceps are literally boulders-"

"i just feel like we have unfinished business, you know?" lisa whines, pausing for a second before bringing a hand up to bite down on the tip of her pointer finger teasingly, "plus, you have to admit that our sex was super hot-"

"are you- hello, i'm dating y/n!" yoongi gasps, "our business is finished! we have no more- we're out of business, lisa!"

"oh, c'mon." lisa raises a brow, clearly unimpressed with his reaction, "it's not going to hurt anyone to keep me as your sexy little secret- it's perfect! i only come into town, like, once or twice a year, so she won't even suspect anythi-"

"what are you- are you insane?! i'm not going to cheat on y/n-" yoongi chokes before raising his hands in defence, "lisa, you're a very beautiful woman and we do have a history, but- look, i'm sorry if i sent you mixed signals this week, that was certainly not my intention- please understand that i am very much not trying to cheat on someone who i love very much and who i'm pretty sure loves me back, so-"

"then who's that person she's so obviously flirting with right now?" lisa points over his shoulder, "also, she's barely visited you this week. what kind of girlfriend doesn't want to always be with her boyfriend??"

"first of all, space can be healthy, and second of all, she- hold on, you said flirting?" yoongi turns to look over his shoulder and out the door, tilting his head slightly when he sees you standing at the front of the garage laughing with... someone he certainly doesn't recognize...

"you can leave all of this behind and come and work for me, yoongi-" yoongi jumps when he suddenly feels hands grasping at the collar of his jumpsuit and he turns back to see lisa standing right in front of him (how did she move so quickly and quietly?!), "we can be happy together, i swear-"

"yeah, cool, just give me a second-" yoongi gently yanks lisa's hands off of him before hurrying out of the office and making a beeline right for you and this mysterious stranger

"oop- okay, he's coming this way-" baekhyun mutters, glancing over your shoulder before looking back at you, "it's show time. you ready?" he hums, reaching over to tuck a strand of hair behind your ear

"what do you think? do we look convincing?" you reach down to unbutton another button on your blouse before adjusting the collar

it's taking everything within you noT to whip around to see if yoongi's just walking towards you or if he's storming towards you... because there's definitely a difference and you definitely want it to be the latter

the plan you came up with had a pretty simple formula: one handsome stranger + one flirty, oblivious y/n = one jealous yoongi

jungkook had a point about how nice it'd be to get yoongi all riled up and possessive and frankly you think you deserve it considering how dismissive he's been with you all week... which is why you were more than happy to recruit your very handsome friend baekhyun (he's very sweet / you met last semester in one of your history courses / he was more than willing to help out with your plan because he's a theatre major and this is good practice for him) to help you out with your plan!

"you're laughing like a robot." baekhyun lowers his voice, "i told you to act natural-"

"i'm being natural! ha, ha! ha! ha-ha. you're so funny, baek-" you giggle obnoxiously, reaching over to slap his chest gently, "you are absolutely the funniest person i've ever met-"

"y/n!" yoongi clears his throat loudly and you bite back a grin at the hint of annoyance you can detect in his voice, "i... thought i was picking you up from class today? i wasn't aware you hired a chauffeur!"

"oh, yoongi!" you spin around, feigning surprise as if you totally weren't expecting to see him at all, "oh, this is actually my friend- i know you've been busy so he offered to give me a ride!" you hum, stepping aside to let baekhyun step up onto the sidewalk, "baekhyun, this is yoongi-" you gesture to yoongi, "yoongi, this is baekhyun! ...my boyfriend."

you're hoping your accidental on-purpose flub-up triggers yoongi's memory of how he accidentally introduced lisa to you as his girlfriend and you're delighted to see the way yoongi's jaw drops slightly, "oh, my bad! i'm sorry, i don't know how that happened- what i meant to say was baekhyun, this is yoongi, my boyfriend. there we go."

"baekhyun..." yoongi repeats, his eyes narrowing slightly when baekhyun suddenly wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a squeeze "well, that's very nice of you to drive y/n all the way here. thanks for doing that, man."

"oh, it's no problem at all!" baekhyun hums, reaching over to pinch your cheek, "y/n's the sweetest and i didn't want to abandon her on campus-"

"okay, she wasn't abandoned, i was literally about to leave to pick her up-" yoongi points out, lifting his keys with a jingle before abruptly shoving them into his back pocket, "you know, y/n's never mentioned a baekhyun before. you two seem... close!"

"oh, baek and i go way back." you snort, digging your elbow into his side with a grin, "isn't that right, baek?"

baek

yoongi pokes his tongue against the inside of his cheek at the fact that baekhyun still has his arm wrapped around your shoulder and you haven't made a move to shoVE it off

how can you not see that his intentions with you aren't just chummy??

he wouldn't have driven you all the way here if he didn't want to get his grubby hands under your skirt-

"we most certainly do! we made some great memories in that lecture hall- i have to say, i was, uh, pretty disappointed when i found out she was already in a relationship..." baekhyun sighs dramatically, shaking his head before looking back at you, "i would treat you right and never cancel dinner plans with you-"

"okay, i think it's time for you to go, bacon-" yoongi forces a smile on his face before reaching over to gently pull you towards him, "thank you for dropping my girlfriend off. have a good one."

"oh, no problem!" baekhyun points towards you, "hey, lemme know if you need a ride to campus on monday because i'd be happy to swing by your apartment and-"

"no, i can take her!" yoongi manoeuvres you so that you're standing behind him and basically blocked from baekhyun's sight, "i've got it from here, thanks."

"bye, baek!" you wave at baekhyun as gets into his car and he salutes at you before his right eye drops in a cheeky wink and it's at that point that yoongi really thinks he's about to lose it

what the hell was that?!

he spins around to face you as soon as baekhyun zooms off and you keep yourself from asking him why his ears have suddenly turned super red

"why are you wearing lowbuttons to class?" yoongi crosses his arms over his chest, "i thought you said you were going to use them as, like, apartment decoration."

"louboutins, yoongi." you correct, looking down at your slick stilettos, "and why can't i wear louboutins to class?"

"you wore them out to dinner one time and i ended up having to carry you back to the car because your feet were aching-" yoongi reminds you with a pointed tone, "are you telling me that you walked up and down and all around campus in those things?"

"maybe i did." you shrug, turning to stick your nose up in the air a little, "i can wear stilettos to class if i so please."

"and the miniskirt?"

"what, you don't like it?" you pout, reaching down to pick a piece of fluff off the surface, "it's new!"

it's a plain black skirt but it has a little slit on the side and you purposely bought this specific piece knowing that yoongi has expressed how much he likes you in black

"of course i like it, and obviously i'm a big fan of the heels but-" yoongi huffs, "all i'm saying is that it's a little odd- the timing is weird for your miniskirts and heels to make a sudden comeback now that you're all buddy-buddy with this backyawn-"

"it's baekhyun-"

"that's what i said!"

"you know, i don't know what you're implying here but i haven't done anything wrong-" you shrug, "are you feeling okay? maybe you need to take a nap-"

"stop being stubborn, y/n. just tell me what's going on!"

"nothing's going on!" you insist, raising your hands in defense before flicking a strand of hair over your shoulder, "everything is perfectly fine and nothing is-"

"are you leaving me for baekhyun?" yoongi interrupts, his eyes suddenly softening, "because if this is how you're telling me we're over, it's a pretty shitty-"

"what- what?? no!" you shake your head quickly, "no, of course i'm not- why would you even- okay, fine! fine, i-" you let out a breath and your shoulders drop a little, "it's just that... i don't know, it kind of feels like i've been fighting to get your attention for the whole week and i... i feel like i shouldn't have to do that as your girlfriend, you know? and i'm not... i guess i just felt like i wasn't stacking up to lisa and how cool and smart she is and- this whole week it's just felt like you're in a relationship with lisa and not me, so i... wanted to make you jealous to see if you still cared. or whatever."

"are you serious?" yoongi's eyes flutter shut and he reaches up to pinch the bridge of his nose in frustration, "fuck, i'm sorry, ah- i'm sorry, y/n, i really am-" his brows knit together in remorse as he looks at you, "i think i just got swept up in all the new clients she was bringing in so i was focusing more on that than on noticing what was going on with you... i'm sorry. why didn't you just come and talk to me about it?"

"i didn't know how." you mutter, reaching up to scratch the side of your head, "i've never had to deal with something like this before, so... i know it was silly of me to come up with this whole thing-"

"you are my girlfriend, y/n." yoongi reminds you, his voice softening, "not lisa. it's you." he reaches over to hook a finger under your chin so he can get you to look at him, "i promise i only have eyes for you, pretty girl. you still love me?"

"god, yoongi-" you feel your cheeks flush at the nickname and you roll your eyes playfully before turning your head, "yeah. duh."

"oh, you silly thing..." he tuts, pulling you in for a hug and propping his chin up on the top of your head, "i'm sorry, baby. i really didn't mean to make you feel like that..." he pulls away and reaches down to glide his finger down the bridge of your nose before poking the tip, "i hope you can forgive me for being a shitty boyfriend."

"i'll forgive you if you forgive me for pretending to flirt with someone else." you smile sheepishly, yoongi grinning before nodding in agreement

"deal." he wraps an arm around your shoulder as the two of you head back towards the direction of the office, "so you really went through all that trouble just to make me a little jealous?" yoongi grins, "just for a little bit of attention? as if i'm not already all over you when we're alone-"

"well, it worked, didn't it?" you take your bottom lip in between your teeth as you squish your cheek against yoongi's shoulder and look up at him, "my acting skills are not half bad, if i do say so myself-"

"oh, shit, uh-" yoongi suddenly stops in his tracks when he sees lisa step out of the office and he spins around so that his back is facing her, "not to make you worry, but you should probably know that lisa's somehow convinced that i've been secretly flirting with her all week because i want to become friends with benefits again and she almost, like, body-slammed me in the office- also, if namjoon asks, tell him a raccoon snuck in and that's why his desk is a mess and his pens are all over the floor-"

"wait, what?!" your brows knit together and you're about to lean over to look at lisa but yoongi quickly reaches out and grabs onto your shoulders to keep you in place

"-yeah, so i'm going to lay you down on the hood of that car now because doing something extreme is probably the only thing that'll prove to her that she's wrong and i am very desperate to show her that she's wrong-"

"lay me down on the- and do what?! yoongi-!" you don't get much of a chance to say anything else before yoongi's suddenly bending down to pick you up off the ground in one swift movement, his fingers digging underneath your thighs as he lays you down on the hood of the nearest car, "yoongi-! you can't just-"

"shush!" yoongi hisses, pressing his lips against yours to shut you up promptly

"mmvph-"

it doesn't take you very long to melt into the kiss once you realize you haven't kissed yoongi like this in like a week and a half and you can't help but smile at the familiar faint taste of cherry you're getting from him

yoongi's warm hand slides down from your waist so he can hitch your left leg up against his hip, one of your heels slipping from your foot and clattering onto the floor

your senses are so clouded with yoongi cherry yoongi cherry that you nearly forget the two of you aren't alone (and also, all of this is definitely being recorded on the security cameras right now)

"hey, so- i- i'm gonna get going-" lisa announces loudly as she stands at a good distance away from the two of you, her eyes looking up towards the ceiling so that she doesn't have to watch the way yoongi's kissing down your neck, "i have to check out of my hotel, so-"

"yeah, sounds good!" yoongi pulls away for a second and shoots a quick thumbs up over his shoulder, "see you later, pal!"

"bye, lisa!" you chime in, giving her a wave even though she isn't looking at you and is really trying to double-time it to her car, "it was so nice meeting you!"

the two of you watch silently as lisa practically leaps into her mustang, the sound of the engine revving before she quickly speeds off like she just remembered she left the oven on at home

you turn your head to look up at yoongi before scoffing lightly, hooking a finger against his chain to pull him back down towards you, "you're ridiculous, you know that?"

"yeah, i know-" yoongi's nose crinkles before he offers you a boyish smirk and a half-hearted shrug, "you love it, though."

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