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san8ny · 2 months ago
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hey girlll, i’m like literally ovulating right now 😭 could you write about sneaking up on ellie and pulling her away for a quickie?? (to feast on her pussy)
THANK YOUUU XXXX
I Treat You Well-ish
!: haven’t written anything in a bit with classes and clubs but i needed to complete ur requests, hope this is somewhat digestible im sorryyy- ?: Oral, and brief alluding of Ellie being seen as just a fwb..
-
“Mm, and here I thought you couldn’t stand me..” She murmurs tiredly, glasses sliding down the bridge of her nose as she tilts her head down, an olive-toned hand woven into your tresses from where you kneel before her, a throbbing ache pooling inbetween your legs as you continue fumbling with her drawstring—“Never meant it like that.” You retort under your breath once she finally gives you a hand, strumming 2 slender fingers inbetween the tight loop to undo the difficult knot easily. Me next!
“I’m pretty sure ‘I hate Ellie!’ can only be interpreted one way, but i’ll let it slide per usual.” She sighs once the damp-warmth of your drooling tongue meets first contact with her cotton boxers.
Eager, weren’t you?
“Easy…” Ellie’s breath seemingly hitches, dark bags under her eyes as you hook your thumbs into the waistband of her confines rather impatiently, “Sorry, I haven’t done this since our last time so i’m a bit rusty.” You reply softly. Ellie hates how your words can be interpreted as exclusivity— who exactly was she to think so, or get happy at that?
“I’m gonna finish early if you say that shit.” She groans, turning her face away as it reddens slightly. So much for getting homework done tonight..
What even was this anymore? It seemed oddly distorted from the idea you once brought to her when your good-for-nothing partner had dropped you out of the blue, Ellie still remembering how out of it you were during that entire time-period.
‘Look, we both hate eachother but how about trying it out? It’ll relax us both, no?’
Wrong! Ellie hasn’t had one calm night since you started making appearances in her fucking dreams, which has now become a nightly occurrence for her. Even the strongest of melatonin couldn’t ward your evil off
You were a walking contradiction in her eyes, acting like you wouldnt touch her with a 10inch pole, yet sending back-to-back messages detailing in the most gruesome way the stuff you’d let her do to you if she just pulled up to your dorms right now. Which, let’s not get shit twisted, she has a few times here and there
A true slut you were, but she wasn’t too far behind either
“You only ever call me when you need me anyways.” Duh. She finally yawns, leaning down to thumb your lips apart as she initiates a deep kiss, that is, before shoving you inbetween her own legs, locking you in with her knees as she mindlessly reaches for your cellular device
It’s seem like she’s sighing for the upteenth time in a row, lomg-sought bliss displayed on her face while you award her with kisses all around her pussy, an exceptionally long one on her hidden-away clitoris, awarding it a few laps as you smile
Speaking of which, You really weren’t lying when you said you needed it, Ellie scrolling to find your only recent contacts making up to be yourbparents and close friends she somewhat knew of, however, her face immediately drops when she stumbles upon an unsaved number, scoffing when she sees the strings of clearly unreciprocated paragraphs sent on the persons end, your responses not even being more than 3 words each— She wants to laugh, but she really can’t. She’d been in that losers shoes before, not like you see her any different with or without the sex, or so she thinks
A stifiled moan escapes her once you begin pinching at her inner-thighs, your own expression shifting into clear annoyance when you realize Ellie’s attention isn’t all on you currently. “W-what? Am I not doing this right or something?” Before you know it, she’s accidently clicking the random contact, throwing it onto the bed while she practically steers your head in accommodation to the tempo she wants, the tension she has on your hair bringing slight tears to pool at your pretty waterline— didn’t you want her attention?
Each time your mouth slams onto her gushing pussy, it gives you the lightest wafting of her scent, though you’re way too pussydrunk to really identify it— she reminds you of laundry detergent in the best way however, like the cliche advertisements you’d see about smelling like a fresh load of laundry. You don’t even notice the periodic moments Ellie has to physically move your head herself because of how dazed you are..on her damn smell..
Clearly unbeknownst to either of you, the recipient on the other end of the phone is listening in on your businesses
“OUCH!” You yell out abruptly, clicking back into reality— Ellie had managed to sneakily reach a hand down to pinch your puffy breasts through your thinly-veiled tanktop, causing you to briefly come up for some needed air and a scolding, “You’re being mean! Touch them nicer, ‘arright? They’re sensitive.”
She chuckles at your reasoning, pressing a kiss to the crown of your head before immediately furrowing her eyebrows together close-knitly, an all too familar elasticity beginning to snap in her lower stomach, “S-shit, baby, i’m about to— i-in a bit, you still hungry?” She teases, overstimulation washing over when you immediately return to work in an even desperate manner to get her off, “Almost!” You slur, burying your face deeper into her center, almost feels like the air in your lungs was being sucked out
Wouldn’t be the worst way to go out..
“Well, i-im gonna need your highness to hurry it up..” Ellie faux-mocks, toes curling when you unexpectedly ram your fingers into a certain spongy spot rather harshly, “S-shiiit…
“Cum for me? Pretty please?” You attempt to match her whines, leaning up to bury your wet face against the burrow of her neck, all while your digits make play inside of her, “I wanna make Ellie happy.” You pathetically admit, raising your head from her nape to, instead, lick the outer shell of her ear
Ellie’s body immediately shudders at the combination of words and actions, slightly convulsing as splashes of electrifying arousal pulsate across both of your own body; her grip on you doesn’t ease up either, with blunt nails digging into your plush sides, threatening to draw blood if they hadn’t already,
“Did..you?..” Ellie rasps, not being fully able to complete her sentence, sweat pooling in crystal beads at the meeting point of her hairline when she catches her breath and something she’d noticed
“Did you just orgasm untouched?”
“D-don’t push your luck!” You hiccup embarrassingly, grabbing your phone where it lays besides you on her comforter to check how lomg you two had been at it, surely your roommate had to have texted you about your late-night whereabouts, though the nearly 1 hour call in-session feels like an ice-cold bucket thrown at you instead
“Oh my—“ Immediately ending it, you embarrassingly shove your face into a pillow to scream. Ellie looks at you bizarrely, leaning over to meet your face more directly, “Sex so bad you’re trying to..suffocate yourself?” She has the audacity to joke,
“You called my building RA!”
She pauses, crossing her legs as she scratches the back of her neck, “Wait— so— ..no, that makes sense— ah, forget it! I, uh, thought it was some dude you were messing with or something.” Ellie sheepishly admits, “Given the stuff you say, I just thought you had other people or ‘somethin.”
“Wait, what do I say?”
“you know, like the whole thing about me not being your type ‘n all.”
You hate how a small frown shows on your face. Despite how you act, you couldn’t help feeling like a coward for how you tried evading your feelings for Ellie by just ghosting her all those weeks after you’d been the one to even start this.
Instead, you lay back down where you both were sprawled and cup her cheek, “I don’t think anyone buys what I say anyway, even you.” You murmur, kissing her cheek gently
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kalims · 28 days ago
Text
⭒ㅤnot gonna lie !
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premise. pov prefect opens a ngl, except! the story they shared it from can only be viewed... by one person!
characters. first years
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ace
not gonna lie ! smash tbh
unironically pretends that he never sent one when you start bombarding him.
uniquewhere: i didn't even see ur story
shrimp: [attatchment]
uniquewhere: i have no wifi to see that sorry not sorry
vehement denial is actually the most effective defense according to him. even if it bypasses all forms of realism, it's not real if he doesn't believe it to be! <- real life advice from ace trappola guys.
if you haven’t already guessed, he can indeed see the picture you just sent and just assumes his very first form of defense�� no amount of proof will remove him from his little ball of: “i don’t know what you’re talking about.”
you gotta prepare some kind of miscrosoft presentation, and sit him down. though he will 100% do that thing where he plugs his ears in with his fingers pretending he doesn’t hear anything even though it doesn’t block out you reading out the words.
“here is the real, actual screenshot of my replies—”
“I NEVER EVEN SAW YOUR STORY.”
“ah, good! next slide after this is the views of the story!”
deuce
not gonna lie ! i like you
very demure, very straight to the point is deuce.
he would've written some long ass paragraph in all honesty but he just can't because he sees what he writes, deletes it, then cringes to himself.
atleast with that one he has the excuse for whichever scenario that might randomly ask about it.. (yes, he's thinking that far) weird flex but ok
1. "you ever confessed to your crush?" someone asking
2. "yeah sorta....." deuce
3. "???" someone confused
he was feeling reaaallyyy proud of himself. the anxiousness finally settles down, alongside with his rapidly beating heart. even if it isn't a real, confession it still brings him a bit of peace.
shrimp: I know what you did
tokyodefenders: WHAT?
there goes his heart rate.
like, you did not offer context to any of that but he's still gonna think you somehow, actually do know even if you didn't provide an explanation to... whatever it is you know about him!
tokyodefenders: whaTEVER IT IS IS NKT TRUE
shrimp: please, ur breaking my heart
shrimp: I like u too :(
heart? ascended
he's not even gonna question it. all his braincells got dumped out, and all he can focus on is that particular message. he isn't even gonna remember backtracking about the ngl cause he's gonna be like:
how did they hack my keyboard.. are they tracking it?! LOL
"I'm a mastermind,"
"HOW DID YOU KNOW?!?!" <- deuce, scared for his life.
jack
not gonna lie ! stop getting into trouble. I'm not always there to pull you out
is concerned with how many times you've managed to unknowingly walk into trouble, jack had been lucky enough (yes, him. not you, cause knowing you, you wouldn't be too phased) to be a near constant presence when the shenanigans during the tournament concluded, he stuck to you then.
as in reluctantly following around you like a tail. narrowing his eyes at the less than friendly faces often wore around you, that you were... well, amazingly oblivious to. or maybe you acted like you didn't know, the carriage didn't pick you up for nothing if you were here in nrc.
shrimp: do u rlly think I'm a troublemaker?
iheldheroncejacob: yes
the random topic being brought up went completely over his head. jack probably had forgotten he'd given the link to your story the time of your day, in all honesty
shrimp: well maybe I keep getting in trouble so u can rush in, and pull me out?
iheldheroncejacob: you're a terrible friend then
shrimp: :(
in retrospect jack is able to keep up with joking around, usually. but it's so hard to take you seriously that he takes whatever you say with a grain of salt, you're almost always tipping between flat sarcasm, or calm nonchalance between your words. it almost always has something to do with the people you're with.
the heartslabyul prefect for example, you take a kind, subtle undertone of teasing to (which is crazy, because you're scarily tame in the presence of the vice-dorm head.) and then you're all stony faced when you're with someone you don't like.
^ and you obviously don't dislike jack, if the little selfish, presumptuous nrc part of him would like to claim confidently so... would you really be joking?
only does jack realize the connection between your text, and the ask he sent when he's just finished his laps.
"I'm not your guard dog! why would you even get in trouble for that, next time I'm not even gonna spare you the time cause—"
"what a pee brain."
"what? don't compare my brain to a tiny pee—"
epel
not gonna lie ! CAN I PLS TRANSFER TO RAMSHACKLE AHHHH
you've never met anyone who's disliked being sorted into whatever the dark mirror fitted their 'soul' into as much as epel.
even without the private story only limited to his response, you're sure you could pick out his message and put a face to it.
epel, in his defense, still has savanaclaw as number one in his heart. though upon asking jack if it was possible to transfer there, the latter confirmed but it was... a tedious process, and suggested asking rook, who literally came from savanaclaw!
the boy only spared his friend a side glance before scurrying away. no use traipsing around that...
but of course, getting away from pomefiore is only a goal! always being near your proximity was a biiiiig bonus!
shrimp: hey I need ur files for the dorm transfer
catchwhathands: [escapeplan.jpg]
catchwhathands: I knew u wanted me in ur dorm!!
shrimp: actually I don't. ur the one that asked ;)
catchwhathands: who cares. I'm finally getting out of this hell YEAHHHH!!
shrimp: who said I was gonna use the files you sent?
okay, admittedly the moment he'd sent over the files, epel shut his phone, and quite literally did a victory lap around his room. making sure to frolic so vil has less chances of hearing his chaos...
the dorm leader woke up so easily from noises that you'd think rook was the reason he developed such a habit.
probably.
epel was already planning the plan! he could see the vision! maybe he could plant around ramshackle since it is a pretty big area. you guys would be together for the remainder of the year—and he'd finally bump the adeuce duo from their pedestal!
*ping*
"AGHHHHH STUPID FRIGGIN'—"
"epel!"
"sorry..."
sebek
not gonna lie ! since it is a request for unbridled honesty, I shall deliver what you've requested. you have done so without much thought, clearly! if you've given such leeway for... criticism! you, human, could use a lot more educating in terms of the glory of our eternal lord, the glorious malleus! in accordance to your previous, description of our relationship. the farthest I can give is acquaintance, but I shall only call you a companion (AKA friend) if you are atleast educated about my interests! as the good companion you desire to be!
woo, alright. he really wrote all that...
oh, uh oh.. you just got another ask from him, maybe even longer..?
shrimp: what would that make silver then
rizzvolt: my brother in arms!
shrimp: but hey, actually I do want to know
rizzvolt: ah! finally! I knew you atleast have some common decency, and sense. for that I shall agree for your request in our friendship! these are the most accurate ones pertaining the great lord malleus' biography! [link] [link] [link]
rizzvolt: is that enough? I will send you more, but only if you finish these three. I will test you rigorously to confirm that you are indeed genuine in your interest!
why he has all that, you have no idea.. if only he displayed that much dedication for his studies...
shrimp: I don't wanna learn about malleus
shrimp: I want to learn about you
rizzley: how dare you! the lord's name should only be addressed with a: 'lord', 'the great', 'the
...
sebek stares at his screen, just in the process of finishing his... educating sentence, because even in text, malleus should only be treated with the highest form of respect!
have you no integrity?! he wonders.
only then does he focus on your response, does he make a rather... dubious sound of shock? sebek doesn't know why he breaks into a cold sweat as he runs the sentence through his mind a hundred times in the span of a minute.
what is this... some sort of human illness? or maybe love—
of course he'd never even consider such a thing! (just did bro)
shrimp: sooo.. since you sent me an ask, does that mean you actually like me?
shrimp: sebeeeeekk.. did you actually read?
with the speed of lightning (and the adrenaline maybe, what else could this frantic pounding of his chest explain besides that you are indeed, dangerous!) he opens the story on your media
'send me an ask if you like meeee :)'
sebek promptly falls over.
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otakuworks · 11 months ago
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Hiiiiiii it's my first time asking, I really love ur genshin works and this may be a very huge request but I've been having a brainrot where Genshin men are in particular manhwa and the reader gets to be the protagonist.
My idea is Xiao as Duke Kedrey from Villainess is a Marionette, cuz he treasure his personal bubble and really is a strong warrior like Raphael.
Maybe Scara as Rezef, it's self explanatory lol
Or Childe as Jeremy Agriche from Roxana. He'll spoil his darling rotten and relationship can be quite toxic but still healthy nonetheless.
Or Kaeya as Heinrey from The Remarried Empress. They're both Casanovas and hot looking❤❤
Or Razor as Nine from Beware of the Villainess.
I know it's too much and you ignore this if you want if it's a bit overwhelming. But if you do, it's okay to not do all of it, I'll be satisfied even just with one. Thank you and have a great day!!!!
❛ 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐒𝐇𝐈𝐍 𝐌𝐄𝐍 𝐚𝐬 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐇𝐖𝐀 𝐌𝐋. manhwa au
feat. Xiao, Scara, Childe, Kaeya, Bennett x GN!Reader | wc. 9.1Kaeya
disclaimer. if you haven't read any of these manhwas, don't worry, i won't spoil the story that much anyway. this fic will only be based on the manhwa and I'll try to explain it as the best I can do. and the first few bulleted paragraphs are the overview of the manhwa or the character.
note. this is genius level idea. thank you for requesting, i thoroughly enjoyed writing this prompt and reach 10k words lmao. I never got to write for razor 'cuz I still have to continue reading beware of the villainess but I do have an idea for bennett (my sec fav dps) in this prompt. i might do a part 2 with diluc who knows
cw. psychological, suggestive themes, yandere, childe
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main m.list genshin m.list
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𝐗𝐈𝐀𝐎 / 𝐀𝐋𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐒 as 𝐑𝐀𝐏𝐇𝐀𝐄𝐋 𝐊𝐄𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐘 !
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Not a single soul in the Empire does not know the fierce infatuation you harbor for the young Duke Alatus of Kedrey Dukedom. From his stunning golden eyes and dark green hair, everywhere he goes demands spotlight.
Ever since you caught the sight of him in one of the balls you were attending, you clung onto him like a leech, always closing the proximity, writing letters, and initiating conversation with him in hopes he'll reciprocate your feelings
Every interaction fills you with contentment and confidence. You're the eldest child of the Emperor, dignified, stunning and kind. Who wouldn't want an Imperial Nobility like you?
However, you've gotten way too engrossed for your undying love for him that you swept away the constant threat looming above you and your title as the Imperial Nobel.
The ballroom shimmers with golden lights, and the air buzzes with the sound of laughter and polite conversation with the soft hum of elegant music relaxing the nerves in the background, setting the perfect backdrop for the prestigious event where the whole Royal Family would be making an appearance.
Most notable Royal Family member to present was Y/N L/N, whom the rumors were circulating about of plausible marriage proposal to a certain Duke, unsurprisingly.
"Alatus!" You maneuvered your way to him, seemingly shameless for calling his name without his title before it.
"Your Highness." He greeted in such a desultory tone that anyone can deduce he's anything but ecstatic to see you.
You've known how distant and cold he acts toward everybody, but you were cursed with such a dense mind to comprehend he doesn't treat you any different; his stiff actions like simple greeting and short response equates how much he craves to stay furtive, contorted expressions and averting gazes are him expressing his displeasure in your presence and he definitely ignores your letters.
And yet you hope you can change his views of you by approaching him because of your burgeoning feelings. It didn't cross your mind how much he values his personal space and kept on insisting your infatuation, unbeknownst how much it irritates him.
"I'm glad you are here. Did you read my letters? I was hoping for your reply since last month but you remained unresponsive. I thought you might have been busy so you forgot to reply." You rambled on and on, you're too close for his liking but out of respect to your title as the Imperial Highness, Alatus stays silent.
One of the attendants offered you a chocolate dessert and you ate without regards, even offering one to the Duke. "I'm not a fan of sweets, Your Highness." He refused, eyes twitching.
"Oh? I apologize for that. It seems— *COUGH*"
For once, one expression painted the Duke's face out of all the times he wears his stoic facade. However, you don't know if you should be glad he's looking at you like that, he looks mortified.
"Imperial Highness! Quick! Fetch the doctor!" A Duchess yelled with clear distraught as she watches you slumped over the floor, coughing blood and alarmingly paling each second.
This incident is quite common amongst nobles.
You were poisoned.
Whoever did such thing never got to register in your brain as the poison intensifies and you doubled over from the scorching pain. Black dots danced in your vision, tempting to lure your eyes to close and pain only pushed you to do so
You barely registered the rushing footsteps of the guards or the nobles screaming before darkness greeted you like an old friend.
The Imperial Palace busied themselves for the recovery of the eldest royal, it even for busier when you were comatose. Security has been tight since then, there were more than necessary numbers of guards stationed outside your room.
Duke Alatus seems neutral with everything, rumors spread among the nobels that he never care for their highness, Y/N.
While it is true that he shows nothing but malice towards your incongruous advances, he does appreciate your efforts of getting closer on a microscopic level and deep down, there's a tinge of concern pricking his numb heart.
Still, his hatred and pride overpowers his concern, he never once visited you, not that visitors are allowed in the Imperial Palace anyway.
He does ask his informants regarding of your health condition. No one can gauge what thoughts running in his mind when he does so much as stare at the informant with a straight face.
And then one day, he received the news of your recovery, that you're finally awake.
You've been awakened by a startling nightmare that rattled your mind awake. For a comatose person in a cool air room, your forehead is sedimented with perspiration and all you can think of is how to escape from your wretched room.
Your maid came in only to react in astonishment to see you sitting up. When she asks how are you faring, you responded neither politely nor dismissively, when the doctor checked your vitals, you didn't throw a tantrum like you always do.
Behind your veil is a person desperate to survive the Imperial Palace before another catastrophic event occurs in the near future. You have to change your ways, it is for your benefit anyway.
The maid was suspicious of your every changing behavior as you were known for beautiful and luxurious nobel who throws jaundiced looks on anyone who do so much as to stare at Alatus.
Speaking of the Duke, you only realize he has no intention of reciprocating your feelings through the maids during your comatose state because there are times you lay there immobilized but your sense of hearing never fails you.
It was a bitter reality, you genuinely feel infatuated to the Duke and want nothing more but to know him better.
Unfortunately, your ways of showing affection is not appreciated to a man who values his dignity and protects his people first.
You chuckled at your stupidity, it was all spelled out for you to decipher but you chose to remain ignorant to the truth and now you got the deserving consequences of your actions. You suffer.
If time permits, you'd like to steer clear with Duke Alatus and seek forgiveness for the time you made him feel like an unworthy man who only attracts potential suitors by his looks and reputation.
He's so much more than that, and hopefully he'll find the right person who can show him love beyond on what you can give him.
For now you want to focus on running away from the Imperial Palace until the storm passes.
Weeks flew by and you've been attending more social balls to tell the whole empire that you've survived the assassination attempt, to convey nothing can hold you down. But to also give you enough time to map your escape in the palace.
It's not an easy task to fly away from the palace with the noble title on your head. Therefore, you would need someone to help you get away legally.
"M-Marriage?" Sputtered the Duke Alatus.
So much for asking for his forgiveness.
"I'm aware it sounds a salacious scheme to tie you down with me and I can only offer you my sincere words that I no longer bear any infatuation toward you, Duke. I've accepted the fact you have no room for romance and moved on. I hope you do the same and accept this contract. It's beneficial for both parties."
Sure it sounds like a scam and Alatus doesn't want to end up like his friend, Zhongli, who gets scam from left and right.
What baffles him is you sitting with such poise and authority that he no longer can see the past you who kept chasing him for answers to your confessions. You've matured. Mature enough to handle a crucial negotiation.
And it raises the question.
What happened?
He only knows you as the Royal Noble who follows him with lovesick eyes. He wasn't informed you could be downright. . . sexy.
"Your face is red, Duke. Is everything alright?"
"Yes." A pragmatic answer coming from a man punching himself on his mind for thinking lewd things about you.
"I'm not expecting a direct answer now, Duke. Take as much time as you need, but be reminded that I also have limited time. If you are not able to give me your answer within a month, I'll exterminate our negotiation and never speak it ever again."
Silence reigned supreme, the Duke's face never betrayed any emotion while you held your head high as you sip your tea. "I hope to hear your answer soon, Duke Alat—"
"I accept."
You blinked comically. "I beg your pardon?"
"I accept your offer."
"W-What? Are you certain?"
He leaned back and crossed his arms. "I am a soldier, everything I do is with certainty. I do not rush nor stall."
Your eyes escaped his scrutinizing gaze and slapped yourself at the back of your mind. Who were you kidding, of course Alatus wouldn't waste time and prefer to give direct answer. Times like this make you realize you don't know him at all and yet you claimed that you love him. Embarrassing.
"I understand. Starting tomorrow we are publicly a couple within 6 months, you help me with my escape and I'll help you in your foreign affairs under the Royal family's name."
You stuck your hand out for him to shake. "I'll be in your care."
"As I am."
Headline: "Royal Highness Y/N L/N and Duke Alatus Kedrey relationship has recently caused rumors to suggest their Highness Y/N has eloped with the Duke."
"This is an overkill." A nervous chuckle rumbled from you.
"I think it's justifiable." Countered the Duke.
"I believe so. What worries me is your take in this."
A frown settled deep in his eyebrows. "Worried?"
You mirrored his expression. "This headline would most likely attract journalists to interview you, possibly even dig your background to quench their thirst for answers." You paused and walked ahead of him in the garden.
"Knowing you don't like anyone to probe into your private life, it worries me to think about the plausible frauds you'll experience." You couldn't see his expression as you sighed.
Unbeknownst to you, his face is crunched up, forming an expression of what you can call it. . . confusion? Your words perplexed him to a whole new degree.
Weeks ago you were throwing yourself at him, you could care less of his feelings and only care for him to love you back, you did unimaginable things that he finds pathetic. You were selfsh, self-centered and other synonymous words.
But now. . .
Alatus sighed, massaging his temples. No use of thinking hard about their change, it could be a facade to let my guard down. As if that would ever happen anyway.
"I am not worthy of your concern, Your Highness. Please be rest assured that mere words won't affect this contract."
"Y/N."
"Pardon?"
"Call me Y/N when we're in public. It'd cause a stir if a couple address each other formally. Would it be alright if I call you by your first name?"
Again, you're being unusually solicitous for him. He was too stunned to speak and you took it as a negative sign.
"Do tell me when you're comfortable enough to let me call—"
"Why are you like this?" He bluntly asked.
You blinked owlishly. "I'm afraid I don't know what you mean."
"Why are you pretending to be nice?"
You inwardly sighed. Of course there's no way he'll fall for your 'nice change' if anything, it made him more suspicious of your behavior. But really, you're showing genuine care for his needs and always try your best to assist him.
"I highly doubt you remember our first meeting, for you it might've been the worst day of your life. For me? It was the opposite."
"What?"
"My father is not as loving and caring for most people would think. Oh no, he's far from those, he's cruel and abusive." Alatus' eyes sharpened at the indication of domestic violence.
"He only saw me as a child who'd bring glory to the Empire, he cares for what value I can impart on behalf of his reputation. I have the beauty after all, but not the brains nor brawns. And he couldn't be satisfied with it." A bitter chuckle came from you.
"When I saw you at the ball, I was mesmerized like most men and women at first glance. You're dignified, strong, insightful and top of that you're undeniably gorgeous. I admire you like the rest of the population because you have everything my father wanted from me. I thought all those qualities were unreachable, and yet you exist. You made me feel inferior and I became insecure of myself. I only have my pretty face, without it I'm nothing but a disposable ornament. Do you know who poisoned me that night?"
He says nothing for a little while. He knew the answer right before you even asked. "Your father." There's a bite in his words.
"Perceptive as always, Duke Alatus." He couldn't match your careless words. If he was perceptive he would've figure out you feel threatened at your own home. He— Archons! He's pissed!
And for what reason? He asked himself.
"I pursued you since then, thinking my father would change the way he treats me if I had you with me, a perfect son-in-law— maybe then he'd look the way I expect a loving father would." Fists clenched, you tightly closed your eyes.
"I was a fool, alright. When he realized you're not interested in me, he deemed me worthless, hence why I was poisoned. He wanted to eliminate a thing that has no value anymore. It took me years to realize that he would never love me. No one would."
You've never experienced love, let alone how to show it properly. Only the Duke Alatus ever made you feel like a human worthy of showing basic manners to you without the influence of your title.
Your first meeting with him left a huge impression. It was at your debutant party, nobles attended and gossips were shared. A night that should've your spotlight, but it felt far from it.
For instance, you constantly felt out of place, as if you don't really belong in the social groups of nobility. Which was richly hypocritical, considering you also had an appetite for attention over individuality. The dichotomy left you uncertain on many occasions and you felt obligated to mask yourself behind a much more "proper" exterior. You can't define what's exactly proper, and so you would always second guess everything you do as feeble as greeting a new face and ask yourself if it's at their satisfactory.
At the end of the night, no one even noticed the star of the night had gone missing amidst their debut celebration. All except one.
Perched on the rim of the fountain, your bare feet submerged in the pool of water.
The cold sensation is strangely comforting, add the cool breeze of the night and you feel oddly at peace. Somehow contradictory to what you've read in romance books that people under stress usually crave the warmth of their partner. Perhaps the absence of love made you hunger for whatever's available for comfort, starving people will eat anything after all.
"Reduced to just sitting around. How absurd."
A frightening shriek escaped your lips, you made a hasty turn as the water splashed as you move. But that soon morphed in relief, the man in front of you impose no danger, if anything you'd feel the safest in his presence.
Duke Alatus is revered as the Hero in his Liyue Empire, the strongest fighter and apparently most handsome man to exist. And boy do those rumors did him any justice.
You've seen him from afar and couldn't help but fall for him at first sight, you wanted to get closer but you were always reminded how worthless you are and that someone like him would never bother batting their eyes to you.
And yet, he's here. In the flesh.
"What are you doing here?" You praised yourself for not stuttering in his presence. He merely shrugged before standing a few meet away from where you're sitting.
"I missed the chance to greet the host a blessed birthday, only to know that they've disappeared. Do you have a habit of playing hide and seek among your peers?" The satirical undertone must've flew over your ear and you looked at him, slightly aghast.
"H-How did you know I wasn't there?"
No one paid attention to you. So why would he?
He sighed, "Didn't you hear me? I was going to greet you but you somehow vanished in your party."
"You searched for me?"
He scoffed, "I'm here, aren't I? What kind of host would leave their debutante party behind?"
"You could've gone with your evening without pleasantries. It wouldn't reflect on your reputation, only mine, so why bother go all through this trouble to find me?" He gave you a blank look, but his eyes blinked in slight disbelief at your query.
"It wasn't trouble finding you, really. . . unless you prefer being alone at the moment, I can leave."
"No! I mean — ehem. . . you can stay." You muttered, an underlying embarrassment was present in your voice.
He perched an eyebrow. "You are an odd one as the rumors say."
It was a turning point to you. Being emotionally repressed and touch starved you are, you wanted more after the first sign of attention from him.
He gave you an ounce of your need to be seen, to be acknowledged, to be worthy of someone's time. It was enough for you to take it as a sign to pursue him.
But you realized a little too late that he would never reciprocate your feelings and the so-called "love" you have for him is the result of years being deprived from any compassion. You've mistaken hunger for love.
"Now you know the reason behind my desperation of escape and the need to change in order to succeed. Truthfully, I don't know if I'm doing the right thing of being considerate and all that. I have to apologize for making such attempts without researching." You made a mental note to visit the library later.
"Anyway, I've said many things today. Let's settle — OMPH!"
A gloved hand wrapped around your wrist and you were pulled backwards, only to softly bumped against a firm chest. "H-Huh? What's the matter, Duke?" You dumbly asked as you tilted your head up to glance at him.
His bangs shrouded whatever expression he has on his face. "You have my permission to call me Alatus, be it in public or private."
"Oh, OK." You're quite baffled what his actions are supposed to convey. Isn't he supposed to dislike physical contact?
"I first saw you as an incompetent noble, a typical royalty who's strength is heavily reliant on outward beauty." Damn, you should add straightforwardness in your compliments for him. "I've seen pretty faces everywhere, yours is nothing special."
"I've heard enough!" You tugged away from his grip, stinging tears threaten to fall. To think your only strength has been trampled on just like that feels like your hope vanishing. Your face is your only gateway to freedom and it—
"Tis why I am amazed to see you acquiring new strengths in your arsenal." E/C eyes found themselves clashing with Alatus' golden hues, there's a glint of emotion you couldn't decipher.
"Your Hi — Y/N, I promise to get you out of this hellhole. Our contract can exceed the 6 month rule for all I care." A blooming emotion spreads in you. He cares enough to finally notice you and your pain, and he's here to help you.
Don't get the wrong idea, self. He's helping me as an ally because he has a good heart. But I know I don't deserve someone so kind and he doesn't deserve someone so broken. I understand our fate is only meant for this; my savior and his misfortune.
You sighed as you remind yourself with that set boundaries. "You have no idea how much that means to me. Thank you, Alatus."
"There's nothing to be grateful for. I'm happy to help someone in need, it's more than enough."
You smiled. And his heart skipped a beat.
A pretty face with a genuine bright grin.
You're beautiful when you're being you.
No bitterness. No ill-concealed pain. He has to rethink his words about your ''mediocre'' beauty.
It pisses me off when you sell yourself short with degrading thoughts, you're no mere ornament. You deserve to be loved, Y/N. I admire your strength and determination. You're a lot stronger than I was when I needed the strength to fight, you're someone I aimed to be in my darkest time. So, keep going and don't ever hesitate to call my name for help.
Little did they both know, Y/N was falling out of love while Alatus is falling in.
𝐅𝐀𝐓𝐔𝐈!𝐒𝐂𝐀𝐑���𝐌𝐎𝐔𝐂𝐇𝐄 as 𝐑𝐄𝐙𝐄𝐅 𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐋 !
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Many wise nobles would not dare cross paths with Prince Scaramouche Hill, his temperamental issues and rude behavior garnered him the reputation of a tyrant, but Y/N L/N had never counted themselves among the very wise.
You're the main character in every horror movie that instead of getting away from the first sign of danger, you run towards it because. . . why not? Where's the story if they'd just run away?
Wouldn't you guess it. You accepted his marriage proposal.
Now the question lingers: WHY?!
"Now, now. . . There is no need for such hasty decisions, for if such marriage were to be cancelled, then so too would the beneficial ties between our families. Is this what you truly want? A marriage for political convenience is what is being sought here, not love."
His ingenious words has been embedded in your mind ever since you avidly rejected the marriage proposal from the Empress herself. Making it much more difficult to retire on grounds of a healthy rejection was a rather callous way of dealing with part of the problem when the Prince himself outrightly called you out.
From the get-go, he was a walking red flag blessed with bewitching charms that you have fallen victim to. You've heard the rumors, he's anything but a saint, his looks might say otherwise but you've acquainted with his ugly side to conclude that your life will be full of thorns once you've wed.
This callous sentiment should chill you — maybe it would, if you heeded the alarm bells ringing in your mind — but fascination triumphs over any deterrent. What would it be like to get to know this Prince? Can I make this marriage work?
#icanfixhim
The wedding ceremony went smoothly, vows were pronounced and rings were exchanged. Though the two of you never really said it aloud, you both weren't ready for the. . . "marital duties"
For tonight, the servants prepared the room the newlyweds will share with unimaginable extravagance, there were rose petals littered in a heart shaped in your bed, candles on each of the bedside table and two bottles of what it looks like strong liquor across the room, definitely intended.
You entered the shared room gripping your nightwear and promptly chugging down the liquor at your leisure.
Scaramouche is yet to come in this new room, part of you hoped you'll be too drunk to fulfill the marital duties. But as you look at the window, mirroring your inner turmoil, you know it's pointless.
It’s a moonless night, heavy with the weight of regret, shattered dreams and a long road of loveless marriage.
You clutched the remnants of your sanity and drowned yourself in the bitter solace of liquid courage to feel the emotions you’d been avoiding. If you'll lose everything in one night, might as well be under the influence to numb the feelings away.
The bottle was harshly snatched from your hand. "Do you plan to do this while you are drunk? Is this what they have taught you?" Came from your new husband.
The liquor did the best job to give you the courage to speak up to him, something that you lacked when he snagged your confidence at the lowest as you rejected this marriage.
"Someone has to be educated in the bedroom?" There's a sardonic undertone as you sway your head. "Well, pardon me, Prince. You barged in my home, proposed this bullshit and expect me to be knowledgeable in the art of pleasure in one week?"
You drunkenly stood up and mustered your best glare-that-can-put-you-sixfeet-under. "You. . . I gave you a benefit of a doubt and accepted this marriage thinking you're a subject of those biased rumors, but you absolutely pale in comparison."
This is where you're expecting expletives insults from him, his pride has been put to the test and Scaramouche was not known for his leniency.
In your drunken stupor, only the blur outline of his masculinity shadows your figure. Before you could retort anything else, he had lunged himself to you, specifically towards your lips.
Surprised marred your drunken face, what's more surprising was how gentle he moved his lips with yours, you'd expect him to be rough in intimacy which what greatly contributed to your anxiety but his gentle actions made you think otherwise.
Are we really doing this?
A hand cupped your cheek as if guiding you to tilt your head to the side while yours gripped the bed sheets. His lips traversed the corner of your lips down to your jaw, rendering you speechless as breathy moans escaped.
He must have noticed your reaction and promptly detached himself from you and you can finally breathe.
"I'm only marking you," His voice was incredibly soft, it was like another soul possessed his body, "We both don't want this. . . whether by obligation or not and I won't cross it. At least by marking you, it'll make people think we have done it."
Scaramouche raised your chin slightly and lifted your face towards him. Now both your faces were looking at each other. He was staring deep into your eyes, as if he was looking for your permission.
There's a certain way Scaramouche takes in your appearance — a thorough observation that doesn't miss the smallest detail about you.
What he sees are things he's familiar with. An enticing body and face which speaks of power and a strong will. A sharp mind, which makes him feel he's found an equal in intelligence. Someone who he wouldn't have to manipulate or trick into submission. . . because he knows he could get there with affection and a proper hand. And, perhaps above all, the way you look at him. As he does to you. . . there's a burning desire.
Why does he have to make this difficult for me?
His hands slide over your body in a smooth, slow way which makes your mind go numb. His hands cup you and caress the shape of your form. Your eyes close as his hands take their place in your hair. . . holding it like a trophy.
With the way he was raised by the Empress, Raiden Shogun, it shouldn't come as a surprise that Scaramouche views you as a property to own rather than a living human who possessed feelings.
The taste, the feeling of his lips against your neck, his breath against your neck. It's intoxicating. . . and leaves you gasping for more and your stomach fluttering. You feel his lips trail towards your neck, and just when you thought he'd move up to your lips — he sinks his teeth in just enough to leave a mark without hurting you.
"This should be enough."
As quickly as he left the mark so was his presence in the room as he hastily stood up and left without making so much noise.
The morning after your consummation, you thought he might treat you a little better than before but he seemed to have reversed back to his old self once again. Archons!
When nothing goes his way he'll use you as a ventilation, and you took every jabbing words and flying objects thrown. You never once complained, not when you know his soft side.
Pitied looks and whispers of sympathy were your daily highlights, everyone in the castle knows how badly the Prince has been treating you since the first day. But that's not true, he treated you like a human on your consummation night, he was more than a Prince with temper tantrums.
If only you can understand His Highness, though. Try as you might. . . You just didn't get him. It seemed like he was made up of several personalities that were constantly getting in each other's way.
"Fuck." Scaramouche was now slumped on the floor.
It was one of those days he'd use you as his target of frustration, nothing new. Scaramouche has tendency to temper tantrums. But today, his eyes brimmed with tears.
Scaramouche himself probably wasn't aware of his vulnerability, he would immediately leave your room and do god knows what.
"Your Highness?" Your meek voice was barely comprehensible in his ears, he was visibly trembling with his head tucked in his arms.
"Go away!" Despite his harsh refute, there's an underlying tone of a defeated man. It hurts to see him like this, nobody deserves to experience pain no matter the circumstances of their birth — Scaramouche shouldn't be an exception to this.
"But you're in pain." You frowned deeply and kneeled beside his trembling form, far enough to not trigger his fight or flight instinct.
"I'm always in pain!" He was shouting and mumbling to himself, but it didn't slip past your senses that he was almost whining about his situation, similar to a child crying out for his mother.
"You don't have to be if you let people help you."
"Help me. . .?" He reiterated the words as if it's in foreign language.
A sense of dread flood your senses as you silently gulped, but you remained rooted in your spot beside him.
"Yes, I know you're not used to it, you're probably denying it in your head as I speak. I won't force you to seek help, but know that someone would be willing to help you." Lies, he knew your words were baseless reassurance to make him feel better.
"Yeah, and I treat you well." He sputtered those words with condescending ire and finally look up to you with so much loathsome in his purple eyes. "You're no different than the people who have deceived me."
Your eyebrows shot in surprise. So he had people who took him for granted? It's no wonder he was shaped like this — spiteful and vindictive. It was easier for him like this, to let people hate him than take advantage of whatever's left of him.
"I'm not deceiving you, Your Highness. I'm willing to help you."
"Do you take me as an idiot? Words hold no value or truth behind them." He spat bitterly and a firm scowl marred his expression before he sauntered to the exit.
"Willing?" He scoffed and finally stood up, unraveling his height that was only inch taller than yours. "Don't make me laugh, people like you always have ulterior motives to help."
"I'm not like one of those people. I give you my word for that."
"Your words prove me nothing. Get out of my sight!"
"But this is my room. . ."
His eyes twitched. "This is our room."
"Okay! I'll go!" You surrendered and stumbled your way out of the room without looking back.
Scaramouche wasn't aware when it began, he does know the feeling started off as a small simmer from a pot of heated water. He finds himself beginning to notice every small detail of you.
It began with him noticing the small dimples on your cheek when you smile or laugh with your full heart instead of the prim and proper laugh from etiquette lessons.
He noticed your habits depending on your mood — your hands become restless when anxious, your eyes dart anywhere but his eyes when you're uncomfortable, or the way you bit your lip when feeling awkward.
Is this. . .
Love. Scaramouche hated that word for love is always affiliated with trust which both reeked of vulnerability, and the sort of emotion that the Prince couldn't afford to display — not when all it had ever done in the past was cause him torment. The past, he had felt resentful because the Empress had handed over too much baggage unilaterally to him — his Princely upbringing, the sole heir duties, arranged marriage. Damn it all.
Thereafter, he had acquired unnecessary headaches from his supposed spouse. He had wrongly assumed your character, for after showing you early signs of his apparent animosity, it only fed your burning curiosity.
He was quick to chalk it up as your naivety, you did reject the proposal for the sole purpose of finding true love.
Only fools would expect love from a mere paper contract. If he had any sympathy left he would gladly drown you with it.
But his assumptions got stomped when you displayed regal actions against the nobles who badmouthed you about the marriage. It was expected that negative rumors would spread and most people would merely pretend they're deaf. You, on the other hand, confronted them and stood up for yourself.
You're far from naive, it seems. If not naive, then what's driving you to endure his treatment and keep leeching from him? The question blanketed his mind for weeks.
You, who's ever curious about the Prince and the the said Prince befuddled by your actions. Put it together and it creates subtle transition in your relationship.
He starts letting you engage him in conversations, as silly as they were sometimes. His answers were still brimming with condescension and ire, but somehow you couldn't shake the feeling that they somehow lacked the bite. . . the intention to hurt.
Or maybe you were just too numb to register it. Either way, you're liking the subtle changes in your relationship.
"HEY!" You gasped and bolt right up, trickle of perspiration on your temples. "W-What. . .?"
Scaramouche was beside you, his usual glare plastered on his face, but his hands are drawing circles on your back, soothing your labored breaths.
For every shift, there's the touch of his hand, the sound of his smooth voice that promises to protect you. His eyes follow you even in your shaking — the light reflected in them assuring that they won't disappear.
"Relax, reality is more often terrifying than nightmares."
Very reassuring.
Scaramouche's expression is somber as he regards you in the dark. There's a bit of hesitation before he reaches out to you. . . embracing you, like a blanket being your safe haven from the Boogeymen.
"I'm here, there's no need to fear." He whispered quietly as his grasp adjusts to be gentler against the softness of your skin as you trembled.
This is him. This is Scaramouche Hill.
This is what you were curious and hoping to see from him. No pedantical micromanagement, no cruelty born of mistrust and ill experience. Just Scaramouche, passionate, attentive and content. Kind in his own way, sardonic and inquisitive, not as selfish as everyone assumed. It was such a privilege to see it.
𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐄 as 𝐉𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐌𝐘 𝐀𝐆𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇𝐄 !
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They say there's a fine line between sanity and madness — Childe Agriche has a foot on both sides. And as the youngest son in the House of Black Agriches, he's the most 'normal' and 'enthusiastic' being you can meet in the manor.
You were a simple commoner who heard the rumors circulating the Black Agriches, if it taught you anything is that Agriches repay kindness with gold and insults with death. Yeah, a family you won't dare to cross with.
Apparently you don't share the same sentiment as your parents as they were too deep of their dept with the Agriche.
But they were spared and in exchange of their mercy, your parents sold you off with them to work in their house. They didn't even bat an eye and shoved you down to your knees.
You felt every kinds of betrayal that exist and snitched on your parents by exposing them of their illegal deeds and what they did to their money that put them in that situation.
Enraged, the head of the Agriche swiftly beheaded them and took you in the manor. It was a relatively quiet mansion, you thought you were going to die in the next few hours but you found yourself suddenly face to face with gleaming mischievous cerulean eyes that seems to enrapture you.
"Who you might be? A new toy for my siblings?" His jovial tone makes you think he's such a harmless creature, which was proven incorrect when he suddenly revealed of wanting you as his pet.
Did he mean slave? Surely he won't potty train you or tell you to sit and roll in front of strangers like a child(e), would he?
"Stand down, Childe. This is Y/N, a new addition of our workers." His father introduced before lighting a cigarette.
He scoffed, "We already have so many workers. Why don't they just become my pet instead?" You had to hold back the broadening of your eyes at this. What on Earth is wrong with these people?
The head of the Agriche merely shrugged as he waves a dismissive hand. "Do what you want." Your heart dropped at the nonchalant response. It'd be better if you get to work in the mansion, not be someone's slave.
An arm was suddenly draped over your shoulders. "Awesome! My name is Childe Agriche, you're now my new pet. So, let me break it down for you; you obey, reward. You disobey, punishment. Simple."
Did I mention he enjoys toying with his victims and making them his pet? Pet, as in putting a collar and chaining you up in the basement? And what was that again? He's supposed to be the most normal?
You're either stuck in a room where he claims to be your cage or following him in around the manor with the collar still on.
At first, you were scared what he might do to you, but it turns out he really honors his words. You obey him and nothing bad will ever happen to you. It really is that simple as he said.
You've heard how other Agriches tend to torture their pets for doing mistakes or even obeying as they're told. You haven't seen the display of power within the Agriches for Childe insists you stay in your cellar room, but the rumors you've heard guaranteed your every caution in meeting new people in the manor, even a maid.
With Childe, however, it doesn't automatically warrant punishment for a simple mistake. He opts to teach you what's right and wrong.
It's unbelievable how patient he is with you, it's more unbelievable to think he's an Agriche with this kind of attitude.
One day, he entered your cell and announced that you'll be living together with him in his room. The collar will have to remain for the sake of your 'safety' as he claimed. Thus, you found yourself laying on a thin satin silk mattress that left no little discomfort.
It didn't seem like he has many tasks to deal within the household, he'd occasionally be away for a few hours before returning bloody murder with crimson stains on his royal clothes.
Driven by a tinge of concern, you couldn't stop your mouth from asking. "What happened? Are you alright?" It was the first time you had seen him what the rumors would potray about him.
His eyebrows furrow in bafflement. "You're. . . asking me if I'm alright?" He asked, almost in disbelief that such question exists.
"Of course! Look at your clothes. How can you expect me not to worry?" Your courageous episode ended when you realized the mistake, you lowered your head. "I apologize. I didn't mean to come out as impudent—"
Your statement was cut short when a cold hand grasped your chin and tilt your head up. Those cerulean eyes never fails to instill the butterflies in your stomach.
"I didn't realize how cute you are until now." His voice dropped a few octaves low it sent shivers in your spine, "Nobody has ever asked about my health, and then there's you — chained up in my bed, concern for me." He chuckled, the type of chuckle that tells you he enjoys a good prey, that he likes how far you will go for him— he's testing you.
Even being concern can get you in trouble?! What's next? I'm getting punished just by breathing?!
"I don't mean no harm." Your demure voice only made him more elated.
"Oh, dear Y/N. Even if you do, there's no way you can land a hit on me," he paused, swiping his tongue out to wet his lower lip. "But fortunately, I'm a masochist myself. I might allow you to bite me if you behave~"
He really is an Agriche.
"Getting back. Are you really OK?" It took every innermost strength in you to divert the topic.
In response, he flashed you a cheeky smile before his hand slowly descended on the base of your neck. Latching his gloved fingers around until he's holding you in a chokehold.
He hasn't done anything, yet your breath hitched.
"You're so small and vulnerable, I can easily snap your neck like this." Proving his point, he added pressure which now made you choke and clasped your hands on his wrist out of reflex. "And yet, you're asking me if I'm OK?"
The pressure on your neck didn't loosen one bit, it feels like he has no intention of actually hurting you, just setting an example of what he can potentially do to you.
You barely can breath, not only because of his hold on your neck, but also the fact he's unbearably close your breaths are mingling as you exhale. You feel like fainting.
"B-Because I don't like seeing you hurt!"
His expression dropped instantaneously. An undecipherable emotion passed his countenance as his strands casted shadow over his blue eyes.
"T-Tartaglia?" Was his alter ego.
He insisted on you calling him by that name.
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why do you care?"
You ask yourself the same question, any sane person wouldn't think twice to care for a cold hearted killer, but any sinner like him wouldn't treat you with such kindness.
"Is such reason needed? I saw you stained with blood, it's natural for me to fret."
". . ."
". . ."
"Aww~" He cooed, finally loosening the hold on your neck.
What an odd reaction. You took a huge inhale and nearly slide down as your knees weakened, but he has his arm around you to keep your equilibrium in balance.
You felt his gloved hand tilting your chin up, his bright blue eyes swirled with emotions you couldn't deduce.
Everything he's doing alerts your senses to run, but your body just craves for more of his touch. Archons above! I'm losing my mind! The way he looks you like a predator — a hungry and sadistic animal, looking to ravage your soul. He's a dangerous, charismatic and highly intelligent man. A twisted fantasy.
"You know what, you'll be my significant other!"
"WHAT?!"
"And you should call me Ajax from now on, too!"
How many names does he have?!
The next thing you know was Childe's entire personality shifting. He freed you from the chains and treats you like a true royalty. Childe innate possessiveness of you increased tenfold after he was exposed to your gentle side.
Overwhelming was the right word for what you felt after a few days of his behavior.
But your "boyfriend" kept insisting in gift giving, it's his primary love language. You mentioned your favorite food? He'll have it on the dining table. You fancy a clothing? Consider the whole shop yours. Someone being an asshole to you? Expect a dried head by your doorstep.
Make no mistake in kidnapping his S/O — he'll rain down all kinds of hell. Sadly (not really) some people just don't heed warnings and accept death so readily.
The temperature in the room seemed to grow colder in cadence with the ice in Childe's gaze. "You mean to tell me, that you are all incompetent to do a simple task of guarding my room where my S/O was? And now they're gone?"
*SPLAT* *THUMP*
One head rolled over
Nobody breathed.
"For every minute you fail to bring the culprit in my playroom equates for a head. If I happen to find them before any of you — don't expect a one way to ticket to hell. I will guarantee to entertain all of you along with the perpetrators."
Childe Agriche loves to play and this was one of his games. Touche! As if he can expect those vacuous idiots to find Y/N.
The door closed with an ominous boom that echoed throughout what sounded like a massive but empty chamber.
Childe knew anger, he was well acquainted with the said red emotion but he had always try to mask it under the pretense of a funny and boisterous man. This time however, he's been uncharacteristically calm and everyone in the manor feels like walking on a tip of a knife.
They wouldn't understand, none of those imbeciles would know what it feels to be with Y/N. He scoffed as he sharpens his arrowhead before placing it in his quiver. There was no time to waste, he wants you back in his arms.
And he did.
With bloodshed, of course.
"GAHHH!"
Childe moved swiftly and gracefully, so much so they had trouble keeping up with him. He came up behind one of the culprits the one that was holding you captive, and broke his neck rather quickly before slashing at another who was nearby.
He quickly ducked, avoiding the enemy coming up from behind, and grabbed his arm, flipping him over, and pinning him down. Suddenly a loud shrill was heard as a bone cracked, and then he moved on the other.
Blood dripped from his fingers, but before a drop could even hit the floor, he’d already struck dead another one, splattering even more blood. One by one the went down, until they’d all been wiped out, annihilated by their supposed prey. They were outmatched by the youngest Agriche.
And by the glint in Childe’s cerulean eyes, he was clearly enjoying the thrill of the kill. The Agriche barely even broke a sweat, his breathing remaining even despite the number of men he had been fighting against him.
Against the occluded moon, he stalked towards your unconscious form and lifted you bridal style, Childe looked more like a predator than a lover, a hunt ending with the prey pinned and helpless. The smell of death permeated the frigid air. Only corpses lay around him.
Holding the unconscious Y/N in his arms, his expression did not once flinch. It was as if he was only holding a feather. Amidst the night, his figure glided on the ground agile and light, before finally disappearing behind the shadows of the nearby trees. . .
You woke up a little disgruntled and already felt the pain in your head flaring as soon as you forced yourself awake. So much for being Childe's S/O, it comes with a free package of his enemies hunting you down.
"Y/N, you're awake." You heard an unusually soft voice beside you as you felt the bed shifts in weight followed by a bone crushing hug from your-supposed-lover.
Pain flared in your abdomen and you had to bite back a grimace. "I swear you're not leaving my sight ever again." His breath is like the scent of night-blooming jasmine on the breeze: soft and soothing, yet sweet and enticing, effectively distracting you from the pain.
If you only you had witnessed the bloodshed you would think twice than to fall for his honeyed words.
"Y-You have blood on your clothes. . ." The indication of your query made him smirked. "It's my trophy."
You decided not to probe any further. In his language, that meant another massacre to stain his clothes and it only means whoever abducted you reached the other side as such a young age.
"Thank you for saving me. . ."
His eyes softened as he chuckled. "You're thanking the same man who shed blood for you?"
"I'm thanking the man who cares enough about me." You refuted.
You were too absorbed in hugging him back that you failed to notice the eerie smile on his lips. His next words were spoken next to your ear, laced with obvious unhinged obsession over you.
"Right, I'm the only one who would save you in face of danger and care for your well-being. No other people can do as much as I can for you, so stay with me forever, Y/N."
Was it your imagination or did you just see a psychotic grin?
𝐊𝐀𝐄𝐘𝐀 𝐀𝐋𝐁𝐄𝐑𝐈𝐂𝐇 as 𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐍𝐑𝐄𝐘 𝐋𝐀𝐒𝐙𝐋𝐎 !
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How atrocious can your life get when you learned the news of your husband handpicking a concubine for himself, then the said trash woman actually has the guts to call you her in-law just because you have the same husband.
Now, you pride yourself for being patient, courageous and intelligent. You wouldn't have ruled an empire if it wasn't for your educated upbringing. But even a ruler like you can feel overwhelmed and burned out, and would find a temporary solace to cry your heart out.
The fact your husband picking his concubine is not the issue inconveniencing you the most. It was his and that man-stealer attitude is what suffocated you the most.
Outrageous to see the trash playing the victim card and shedding fat crocodile tears just to earn your husband's favor. Audacious to think of herself as the same level as you when she doesn't even know basic etiquette rules and the difference between a garbage and herself. Humiliating on how he made you a fool on many occasions and sided with his mistress while everyone whispered on how the Emperor favored his concubine over his own S/O.
And he dare say you're not allowed to have an affair?
Ridiculous. Absolutely ridiculous.
Which lead you in a secluded forest to vent out your feelings and temporarily get away from all that's happening in the palace. You're perched beside a rock while your head is tucked in your crossed arms, burying your head, silently weeping in the depths of the green environment.
*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*
You reluctantly raise your head to investigate the noise, of course you knew it was some type of bird, but you were curious what type of bird it was as you rarely get to visit nature. You'd appreciate a little company even if it's from an avian creature.
Majestic, charming, jaw dropping, and everything synonymous to the word beautiful can be attached to this mystical bird.
What caught your attention the most was its beautiful midnight blue and cerulean ombre feathers, you've never seen such bird in the books you've read let alone see one in real life. Next was its body that's bigger than your head and a wingspan that's almost in par with the length of your arms spread open. And lastly, the note tied to its leg.
"How beautiful. Will you allow me to touch you?" You didn't even notice yourself nearing the bird. A slight hesitance made you flinched when the bird nailed its bright eyes on you. Even the eyes resembled the finest jewel in your kingdom.
You retracted your hand under the assumption you had scared the bird. However, the surprise entered your face when the bird flapped its wings and perched on your suspended hand in the air. It looks like it doesn't sense you as a threat. That's a good start.
Admiring nature's blessing, you caught the note tied to its legs which made you think if this bird is a pet of some noble. "Hmm, are you lost? Based on your looks, you don't look like a wild animal that happened to stumble upon this forest by accident."
You took the note from its feet and read the content;
"I am a guest from abroad who will soon arrive at the new year's ceremony, and I write this note while drunk."
An amused chuckle left your lips as you look back at the bird who's tilting its head in curiosity of your reaction. "I'm sorry, your master sounds like an interesting person and a pain in the back. I feel bad you lost your way here. Hmm. . . should I write back?"
It wasn't even a question, you hastily fish out your pocket pen and wrote a sassy reply at the back of the piece of parchment. Hopefully it doesn't offend the owner of the bird.
You tied the note once again the rubbed its head one last time. "Off you go, little one. Deliver my message to your drunk master and fly your way back home safely."
The bird spreads its wings before taking flight.
You sighed once you lost sight of the avian creature.
Suddenly, you were harshly reminded of your duties and the circumstances you're currently in. As much as possible you don't really want to deal with another mistress-related issues within the palace and have your husband pin the blame on you. Crestfallen, you made your way back to the palace.
What you didn't know was the pair of jewel-like eyes following your movement from one of the tallest trees.
"What an interesting person." A man chuckled as he held up the note that was recently tied to his leg.
It was none other than the blue avian creature that has assumed the image of a man possessing a tanned complexion and navy-blue hair with streaks of lighter blue, accompanied by a waist-length lock of hair that's being held by a low ponytail.
As he reads the content of your message, he couldn't help but feel intrigued by what had occurred prior to you noticing his presence. Why were you crying? Crying doesn't suit a beautiful person like you, especially a sassy one at that.
"Your bird has found its way to me, if it is able to find its way back, I shall be relived, for it means it must be cleverer than its inarticulate drunk master." Sassy yet regal, indeed.
A lopsided grin adorned his lips. "So it seems I must cleverly find my way back to you if I want to see you again, Your Highness. And I must say, I love a good challenge."
Days have become grueling for you to endure, but you persevered through it all. The mistress has become more comfortable in causing ruckus in the palace just to get the Emperor's attention on her.
You don't really care about all the shenanigans she's planning to pull so long as it doesn't interfere in your line of work as a wise ruler.
Then one day, the similar bird you found in the forest came flying at your balcony and kept scratching the glass pane to get your attention.
You gasped once you realized who it was. "It's you again. How are you so good in finding me?" And it seems as though it has a new note attached to its leg.
"I'd like to think I'm a bit more intelligent than a bird. I've now woken up from my drunken stupor."
You giggled at the person's confidence. "Lumine, get me a pen and paper, will you?" You addressed to your attendant standing by the doorway.
"It seems as if you haven't woken up completely. What is the bird's name?"
Lumine, your attendant, commented at the ardor look on your face. "It's fun for you too, isn't it, Your Majesty?"
"A bit. . .?" You coyly replied, this little interaction with the bird and its master is the highlight of your day. Not even the whole mistress thing can be bothered right now.
As if challenging your thoughts, your husband walked in after you just sent away the bird with the letter of yours.
The conversation was tad too accusing, saying you're spreading rumors about the mistress to drag her down. Ha! Even if the rumors were false, it speaks volume.
You left the palace once again, to your safe haven.
It seems as though it's going to be your hobby to seclude yourself when no one's watching and let the nature be a witness of your depressive moments.
*FLAP* *FLAP* *FLAP*
Hearing the familiar flapping, you subconsciously stretched out your arm for the bird to land.
"It's you again!"
And a new note.
"Is such thing needed? You may name it, if you'd like."
"What an indifferent master." You sighed at the response and gaze at the bird. "A kind, intelligent bird like you deserves a name which befits your character. So your name shall be. . ."
"Queen."
Unbeknownst to you, the bird bristled at the name.
"Thank you for coming to see me, Queen. I'm in good spirits now, thanks to you." You embraced the bird and pecked its beak. "I hope you will come visit me again."
The bird flew toward the inky sky. Anyone wouldn't be able to tell the slight blush coating his head.
He landed a few hectares from your and transformed back to his naked human form.
"Archons above. How could they name a man, "Queen"?" He rubbed his dark blue hair. Seemingly sheepish for being mistaken as a girl.
"What was that?" A new voice spoke.
It belonged to the red bird perched on the branches.
"You said you'd go survey the premises. Did you take another detour again?" The miffed tone is impossible to miss. He flew down and morphed to a man with luscious crimson hair that cascades down to his waist and sharp tantalizing red eyes.
"No, of course not. I went to reconnoiter the Imperial Palace."
"Did you really?"
"You don't believe me, brother?"
He gave his brother a sharp glare. "You haven't given me enough reason to. But do remember your position and responsibility, especially in this foreign country."
"I get it. Don't have to nag me, Diluc."
Kaeya Laszlo, first in line to the throne of the Khaenri'ah Kingdom. The center of many rumors, such as those which describe his great cruelty or great beauty.
A few of those say he's a Casanova, and that he associates with dangerous pirates hence why he hasn't met any woman or man of his interest.
And finally, the long awaited New Year's Ceremony came. Noble figures were all invited to celebrate the occasion with your Kingdom as the host.
As for your husband, he's quite busy mingling with his mistress and you were left with your friends.
"Dear god. How shameless is the Emperor to have the face in showing off his. . . unpalatable mistress."
"There is no need for your ire. The law states that the Emperor can take more than one spouse." A tight smile graced your lips.
One of your friends scoffed. "Even it that were the case, a man with a noble heart wouldn't take one more to fulfill his insecurities. You are more than enough and the Emperor does not deserve you."
"Greetings, Your Majesty." An elegant man gracefully interrupted your conversation with your friends.
You turn to look at the man clad in a white-blue knight uniform, specifically more stylish than what you usually on a regular knight at your Kingdom. A Prince, you concluded.
As you shift your apprehensive eyes on him, the little details such accessories and intonation caught your undivided attention.
Silver rings on those long, dexterous fingers, silver necklace around the neck that held his head way too high, silver tongue in that mouth home to all kinds of sins. He was the epitome of being devious; so much so that he could literally walk right off anything by just talking his way out of it.
"I am Kaeya Laszlo, first Prince of the Khaenri'ah Kingdom."
Everyone around you gasped and some almost fainted while you remained level-headed.
"Greetings, Prince Kaeya. I have welcomed you earlier today, but it never crossed my mind to engage a talk to such an esteemed guest of ours."
It's more like I never expected someone like you to approach me. You thought sardonically.
"Do I come off as cold to you, Your Highness? Pardon but that is not my intention, but surely you'll allow me to make worth of your time." He chuckled wistfully, a smirk has overtaken his lips.
Great God. If he endeavoured to make you fall for him as much as possible, then he was doing a splendid job. You just couldn't shake off the feeling that you know this man.
Burst of giggles erupted around you while your eyebrow perched. "Cold? You don't strike me as such, if anything, your bold statement has proven me otherwise."
"Oh, and what would be your answer?"
"I—"
"Of course they agree! Please don't mind us and enjoy your evening together, Prince Kaeya!" One glare against dozens of mischievous eyes is like fighting tooth with nail.
"Shall we?" He offered his hand to guide you in his predestined destination. "I sure hope it is worthwhile, Prince Kaeya." You took his hand and my god was his hand the iceberg.
"Call me Kaeya for starters and I shall call you Y/N."
First name basis already?
"Is that a demand?"
"Does it sound like a demand?"
"It certainly does."
"Well, it is up to you to decide whether to oblige or not." He smiled.
God, it's unfair to have the blessings of charm.
"Where are we going?"
The young man beckoned his head to the exit. "Somewhere your husband won't suspect a thing."
"You really do sound like a Casanova."
"Oh dear, don't tell me you believe those hearsay."
You shrugged. "I do not, but you've been anything as what the rumors have described you thus far."
"You made me curious of you."
"How so?"
Arriving at the garden, he glances at the full moon before turning to stare right at you. "Your eyes are beautiful, yet they also look so empty oftentimes. Your movements and the way you speak are very refined and regal, but they can turn cold, or even rude at times. You're a paradox I'd love to solve, Y/N." Kaeya paused, "But I feel like you're a paradox I could never solve, no matter how hard I try."
This stare off could go on forever, if Kaeya had his way. The tension is obvious, but the air between you both is too tempting — too addicting to resist.
He doesn't look away. . . not one bit and neither do you. His eyes are fixed on yours, his breath steady and his pulse strong. A part of him wants you to make a move. . . to show that you feel as strongly for him as he feels for you.
The other part just wants to steal you away and make you his.
Spoiler alert: he did.
𝐁𝐄𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐓𝐓 as 𝐁𝐋𝐀𝐊𝐄 !
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It's old news for aristocratic children get engaged before they could debut. But in your case, you're not merely marrying a boy of your family's choice.
You're marrying the infamous Monstrous Crown Prince Bennett; the child who was rumored to have been cursed to bring misfortune to those around him. Thus, he has lived his entire life in the confinements of his four walls.
Fretful thoughts flooded your mind as your carriage neared his mansion. Imperial children usually stays at the Imperial Palace with the King and Queen, however in Prince Bennett's case, he was segregated to live in another mansion built specifically for him to stay out of the spotlight — or as others should say it, for him to not spread the curse of bad luck.
You don't usually treat people based on senseless rumors, but you do heed the rumors as a guide for you to be cautious. Prince Bennett is by far the most unknown factor you have to deal with despite the rumors surrounding him. What is he like? Is he a snob? Does he really bring bad luck?
Those thoughts have kept you all night that you didn't have time to sleep. Somewhere along the way, you fell in a deep slumber, ignoring the occasional jerk of the carriage as it hits a bump on the road.
Constant whimpering reminding you of a kicked puppy was what woke you up from your blissful beauty rest.
For a moment, you have forgotten what happened before you fell asleep. Through your blurried vision, you noticed the walls and ceiling looking dull with the simple light shades of painting, the bed you're resting felt foreign to the touch, the minimalist approach from the interior design and lack of other furnitures made you think you're in someone's room.
"G-Gah! Yo-You're awake. . ." A meek voice said from beside you, it's easy to mistaken it as a woman's voice if it wasn't for the boyish undertone.
You blinked several times before adjusting your sight. There's a hooded boy at the very far right of your bedside, and from the looks of it, he seemed terrified to even close an inch gap.
"Who are you?" Was million dollar question. The boy visibly bristled. It's quite clear for you that he's not used to social interaction.
"I-I. . . am Bennett." He spoke with a low, soothing tone that was laced with a soft accent. Despite his voice being smooth and even, he stared back at you with unbidden curiosity, one that seemed to peer into your very soul.
"Bennett?! Oh Lord, I greet His Majesty the Crown Prince!" You promptly bowed your head as low as it can get.
"W-Wait, no, please don't do that! I don't deserve your respect and besides, we're equals now, feel free to call me Bennett if you like."
He doesn't deserve respect? What a load of bullcrap does that mean? A frown has settled deeply in the creases of your forehead. This boy is anything but what the rumors have described him.
"Your Hig— Bennett, you could be an outcast or a peasant and I'd still treat you with respect. Don't say you don't deserve decent manners." You're almost fuming at this point.
"But I'm a monster. I don't deserve anything, even you."
Something in the purity of his statement triggered you.
"I bring bad luck to everyone. I could hurt you in the future and I don't want that, I don't want anyone getting hurt because of me."
You could feel the last of your residual resentment fading away, getting replaced by a deep sense of compassion — as well as a healthy dose of curiosity. What would this boy, your future husband, truly be like?
"You're no monster, Bennett. No monster would be concerned for my well-being and selflessly label themselves as such to ward me off." He seemed to perk up at your claim.
"Don't ever call yourself as such. I can't stand it."
"I don't understand, you're the first one to say that to me."
A frown has settled on your brows as you came to stand next to him. "You don't need to for now, I'll show you."
Bennett was none of those rumors. You have concluded that ever since you met him, he has been kind and considerate to your well-being. You have never met someone who would ask which side of the table they're more comfortable to eat with — not until Bennett.
The boy was overwhelming with perfervid compassion and the strong urge to give love, it can feel suffocating at times but that's what made you like him.
There's just this nagging feeling in your gut that he's forced to act like a doting husband due to the fact you're engaged. Is it all an obligation? Or he's simply this passionate?
"Are you not upset at this?" You had asked one night.
"Upset about what?"
"About our arranged marriage."
Bennett may appear jubilant around you but you can't help to think he harbors ill will to this arrangement. "I see no reason why I would." He replied, smiling at you as per usual.
"Why is that?"
He tear his gaze from you before briefly interlocking your hands. So warm and full of passion, you promptly responded to the gesture by drawing circles with your thumb.
"You're the best thing to happen in my life. I can't explain this feeling but I do know I can't be happy without you. Thank you for coming in my life, Y/N."
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━━ 𝐀𝐅𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃. bennett's way too short cuz I ran out of ideas T-T this took wayyyyyy tooooo long, but I'm glad it turned out well. what do you think of this au? I'm planning on making a part 2 for other genshin men, I'm actually starting it already but I still need to finish other prompts.
━━ 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @atsukawolfcat @spyanya @ittosoneandoniwife @a-rose-byanothername @lasignoramybeloved @vvyeislazzy @kokomisimpppp @gookimswife
©OTAKUWORKS_2024
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cinnnamongrl · 1 year ago
Text
sorority secrets- ellie williams (part 2)
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pairing: college!ellie williams x fem!reader
summary: part 2 to this fic.
warnings: [18+ MDNI] explicit language, suggestive themes/language, kissing (gasp) [this series will contain smut later on- warnings will be listed accordingly]
author’s note: part two everybody clap. this is a little shorter but part 3 will make up for it .. wink wink. have fun and lmk all ur thoughts<33
was ellie delusional? was she a complete idiot for thinking there was something sapphic that was occurring between the two of you? did she dream up the flirting, the glances at her hands and quickened heartbeat visible through your dress when her face was close to yours? she didn’t know. all she knew was she had been tied up in too many situations where she’d misread signals and falsely assumed a girl was queer and interested to then find out she was straight, or involved with a guy. and fuck going through that again. so she decided to distance herself. luckily for her, there hadn’t been any mandatory eta meets lately and you didn’t share any classes together. her plan to leave you alone and let you pursue this chad guy was going perfectly.
you felt like shit. you felt like the worlds biggest asshole for telling everyone you had a crush on a guy 3 minutes after ellie’s mouth was a few inches from yours, and not even talking to her after to maybe explain that, hey, i don’t even know who chad is. i was just being a pussy. now can we go back to where you were pressed up against me in the bathroom? another fun consequence of your lie was now having to pretend you knew who chad peters was when your sorority sisters would prod you for details on your big crush on him. you’d managed to work out through their giggly discussions that he was:
1. tall.
2. well endowed. (lucky you!)
3. a football player.
4. president of kappa upsilon sigma fraternity. the same fraternity your dad had been a part of.
fuck chad peters for existing and being the reason ellie wasn’t talking to you anymore.
you laid on your bed with yours and ellie’s chat open on your phone. your heard swirled with different excuses to use to text her, trying to silence your pride. it was your fault she was avoiding you anyway, you’d embarrassed her and hadn’t even followed up with an apology, instead you let your parent’s ideals and the pressure you put on yourself mess with your head.
fuck this.
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she didn’t tell you to fuck off so you considered that a win. it had been 17 minutes since you sent the last text, so you assumed the conversation was over. still, you picked up your phone every few minutes to check she hadn’t texted again. it was a natural place for the conversation to end, but… what if she was still upset with you? you threw your head dramatically into your pillow like a woman scorned.
curse your stupid love heart hand emojis, ellie thought. she tried to be chill and think about important things like the next paragraph on her text book, or replying to a text from emilia about some eta thing, or doing something about the clothes pile on her floor from 2 weeks ago. but she was sat in her desk chair analysing your emojis. which made her think about you. which made her think about the little eyebrow scrunch you did when you pretended to be annoyed with her, which made her think about your chest almost pressing into hers in the bathroom, which made her think about your neck, how it might look with-
KNOCK KNOCK
ellie scanned her room, kicked the pile of clothes into the corner, adjusted the hood of her grey hoodie and walked to the door. she opened it and was met with you, looking slightly awkward but in an (annoyingly) endearing way. she looked down at your hands. a box of capri-suns. a laugh escaped her throat. “hi” your voice a little unsure. “listen i know you’re studying i just thought i’d bring this to you it’s a joke because we talked about capri-suns sorry i’ll go i just thought it would be funny but i’m probably disturbing you so i’ll see you soon maybe y’know because of e-“ “come in” she cut you off.
you took in a breath and tentatively walked past her outstretched hand. you stood in the middle of her room, still processing that you’d asked ellie’s step sister to tell you where her dorm room was like a creep and then ran there to give her a gift from a stupid inside joke. “i’ll leave in a minute i just,” you thought for a second. you just what? you pointed a weak hand at the box of capri-suns in your other hand. she smiled slightly “i see. thank you.” she took the box from your hand and started to rip it open as she sat down in her desk chair. you watched her for a few seconds before a brightly coloured pouch came flying at you, your instincts managing to kick in at the last minute so your hand could shoot out and clutch it against your torso, an action that lacked any hint of grace. ellie was visibly holding in a laugh as she pierced the tiny straw through her own drink. “don’t laugh! you didn’t give me any warning!” you blurted. “ok this is your warning. i’m going to throw a capri-sun at you.” not even half a second later another flash of colour shot towards you and you held you hand up in front of your face in protection. the pouch hit the floor with a gentle thud and you picked it up and stared at ellie who was now openly snickering at you. “you’re” you aimed it at her stomach “a dick” SMACK.
“ow!�� she held the drink to her and looked up at you in disbelief before standing to her feet, eyes on you. a little jump of playful fear zapped through you and she grabbed a handful of capri-suns out the box and one after the other threw them towards you, no real force behind the throws. you backed away giggling until the backs of your knees met her bed and you fell back onto it. ellie didn’t let up her attack and continued walking towards you, fourth capri-sun hitting your shoulder a little harder than she’d anticipated. you clutched it theatrically and turned away from her, face pressed into her bed and keeping your body balled up like you’d been shot. a wave of panic went through ellie at the thought of accidentally hurting you. she placed herself next to you on the bed and put her hand on your back nervously “hey are you..” “HA” you lifted suddenly and held her body down onto the bed with your leg and repeatedly hit the capri-sun onto her arm, laughing at your own genius. ‘hey hey hey’ ellie spoke through her laughter and grabbed a hold of your arms, successfully pacifying you.
she looked at the sight of you above her, grinning, your chest rising and falling quickly. the memory of your truth or dare confession struck her. she let go of your arms and cleared her throat, sitting up slightly, making you remove your leg from her. you noticed her switch and before your brain could have an input your mouth got there first;
“i don’t like that guy.” you babbled. ellie stared at you. “what?” “that guy. chad. i didn’t even know a chad, it was the first name that came to mind.” “wh-“ she blinked a few times “what are you saying?” you adjusted yourself so you were sat on your knees. “i made up a fake crush when emilia asked because i got scared.” ellie frowned, “scared of what?” “you.” a short laugh escaped her, the confusion obvious on her features. “me?” “yes, scared of you and…” “and what?” her eyes were still fixed on you and it took great effort to stop yourself from doting upon her freckles and her pretty lips “..the way you make me feel.” you looked down. ellie’s tone changed, there was a depth to her voice. “and how’s that?” your eyes remained focused in on a crease in her sheets. “like..” “hey, look at me.” she raised your chin with her index finger. you complied. and she wanted to hear you talk but god did she also want to kiss you right now.
“..fuzzy. and all hot and nervous and i haven’t stopped thinking about you since i met you which is stupid and scary and-” and then her lips were on yours, it was soft and sweet and it gave you butterflies. it was delicate and gentle and tender, until it wasn’t. until it was deepening, her tongue was meeting yours and you had butterflies in a whole new way. her hand found your face and she cupped your jaw while the other made it’s way to the back of your neck, the intensity of both her hands holding you making your head spin a little. she kissed you with all the desperation of a man starved and yet all the technique that made it seem like she already knew exactly what your body wanted from her.
feeling suddenly restricted in the sitting position on your knees you leaned into the kiss and placed your hands either side of her, lifting your ass from your legs and leaning into her on all fours, mouth not leaving hers. ellie felt your body shift and broke away from you, noticing your new position. “you.. can’t do that” she let out breathlessly. “d-do what?” you were suddenly hyper aware of your body, realising that you probably did look a little pathetic in near-enough doggy position while you’re kissing for the first time. “because i want to be respectful,” she calmed her breathing slightly “but the way you look now is making me have not so respectful thoughts” your face heated and let out a shy giggle. “..sorry.” the corner of her mouth lifted into a smile. you continued “but uh… you don’t have to be respectful… if you don’t want.” you looked up at her and absentmindedly brought your bottom lip to chew on at your nervous attempt at playful seduction. ellie looked down at your mouth and within the beat she’d captured it with her own, kissing you hard again and hands stoking up your arms that were still held up on her bed.
part 3
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taglist: @ximtiredx @gold-dustwomxn @nil-eena @girlfr1endism
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pseudowho · 3 months ago
Note
Hi Mrs. Haitch :D!!! I have a bit of a problem dump in the following 2 paragraphs. And I absolutely do not expect you to read or respond unless you want to! You’re not a therapist and you’re not responsible for others’ emotions. If you do want to read/reply, that’s really welcomed as well!
I personally have had/am having issues with men who are in their thirties hitting on me when I thought I made it clear I just want to be completely platonic friends AND they all knew my age from the start 🥲 TW - I was 19 when two 33 year olds sexually harassed me (one was a coworker who said stuff out of the blue, like, “you want kids? I’ll put one in you” (for context, he heard me talking to my co-hostess about wanting to raise children in the ways I never got loved, nurtured, and cared for) // “What if I touch myself and moan your name?” // “Wanna hear a joke TRIGGER WARNING “Are you a school? Cause I wanna shoot kids inside you” which was literally such a disgusting and inexcusable joke??? Hello?) and currently there’s a 30 year old guy who KEEEEEPS trying to get me to be his super close friend (he was flirting CONSTANTLY until I made it really overly clear I don’t want romance with anyone atm). He knows I am 21 as well! Which is wild to me! Just wild. I’ve literally FELT my frontal lobe developing in the past few years (It’s like I could suddenly start to understand the importance of more practical decisions), and it won’t stop developing until I’m 25 either. So for a full grown 30 year old… to be… I’m 9 year younger than him… idk… it’s weird to me…
and I was wondering, should I feel bad for these people? Would you let pity/guilt override the judgment? (I am not perfect at all and have my share of flaws, but I have had a issues with letting hurt people who hurt people, get away with stuff they do to me AND I feel guilty for not being their personal therapist, even though expecting that of any single person who ISN’T one’s professional therapist, is unfair). You seem like a kind person who understands the depth of humans, so I think I trust your judgment! And would love to hear what you have to say if you want to share. The 33 year olds have deep rooted issues and my heart truly sympathizes with them (but I do feel a shit ton of disgust too. if they ever did that to somebody else I would be SO MAD).
I’m eventually somehow gonna figure these questions out (as life tends to go), so don’t worry about this ask at all if it’s not ur cup of tea, or is draining.
Take care and hope you have a LOVEEEELYYYY DAYYYYYY!!!! (Also curious what ur fav tea is? Mine is Numi’s earl gray. It’s too perfect, so elevated. Very flavorful and elegant and THE NOTESSSSSS oh god. Could write a whole post on it)
Anyone who thinks comments like that are flirting, need to be re-educated. With a baseball bat. They'll call it 'dark humour' when really they're just cunts, so they're doing you a real favour showing you that early.
Well done for not being flattered by the attentions of an older man, because...
If there's anything that women aged 30+ tend to notice, it's that when men their age hit on much younger women, it's usually because that man's character is lacking, he's emotionally immature, a predator who relies on younger women and girls being less self confident, and it is most often a RED FLAG.
These 30+ year old men are usually not with women their own age, because the women their own age recognise that they're arseholes or losers, most of the time, and we cringe when they then repeatedly shoot their shot with young women who they will flatter with that age old adage of 'you're so mature for your age!'
If they have deep-seated issues and they turn it into someone else's problem, without any sense of ownership or willingness to actually work on resolving or improving from their issues, RUN.
Never get with someone out of pity. Have some self-respect, and do not let them mistake your kindness for weakness.
Because people see me as understanding, I am a therapist. To everyone. All the time. Strangers, within hours of meeting me, will often pour out their emotional vulnerabilities and traumas; while I'm tough and able to compute it all, and to help them, and read through a solution, it is sometimes a heavy burden.
But for YOU, remember there is a difference between you therapising someone, and someone using you to trauma-dump. Learn to recognise the two, and protect yourself from being used, especially if these are the very same men who have recently been trying to get into your pants.
My favourite tea is Yorkshire Tea by Taylors of Harrogate, with a splash of milk and a spoonful of brown sugar or honey.
Don't let these pieces of shit use you, kiddo.
They're not "daddies"; they haven't earned such an esteemed title. Nothing daddy about these tramps.
All my love, and I have a knife in my pocket,
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-- Haitch xxx
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stardustkrishnaverse · 1 year ago
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TEXTING HINDU GODS PT.2
cos i couldnt get enough 😂
RAMA 🫶:
- replies with a wholesome and sweet paragraph LITERALLY EVERY TIME
- asks you about your day
- tells you what him and his fam did that day
- helps you make friends ('Don't worry - you're so sweet and kind! You have got this! 🤗')
- emotional breakdown support 101
- does random facetimes to show you nice things he finds in the forest
- does group vid calls to show everyone
-- > does 'campfire sessions' on group vid call where you all play antakshari or tell stories together
- gives the best life advice, on parallel with Krishna's (surprise surprise amirite)
y/n : hi Ram ji :)
Rama : Hi my priye y/n, so good to hear from you! You know, today we saw this beautiful flower in the forest that I'm pretty sure is a Golden Arch Dendrobium - Lakshmana says we have come to the areas of Bharat where it is a native plant! Its colour was so mesmerising and bright - it looked so lovely in Sitey's hair! I wish you were here to see it 🥰 [Sends pic of flower]
y/n : *sends 10min voice note of emotional breakdown*
rama : *sends multiple vns back right away with lots of affirmations and emotional support. if your love language is physical touch he also posts you a hand-knit jumper or a crochet teddy for you to snuggle*
HANUMAN 🫶:
- another one for speed dial
- happy to help in every circumstance
-- > but may not help with picking outfits as he'll find smth nice to say for every option 😂💓
- BEST motivation and motivational speeches
- will pretend to study with you on vid call so you can have a study buddy 🥺
- if you can't sleep at night, will be on phone call telling a wholesome story to send u to sleep (most likely smth about his or shri ram's adventures)
- will highly appreciate you sharing your fave Shri Ram bhajans with him
- begins and ends every convo with 'JSR 🙏' (Jai Shri Ram)
- in summary: your fave uncle and grandad in one
- in bg of all of Shri Ram's vid calls and says hi haha (he loves to sing in the antakshari and is also such a big hype man 😁)
RADHA 🫶:
- you know that trope about going to dads with all your 'dad needs' like fixing the sink,, well that is radhe with LITERALLY EVERYTHING
- solves all your problems
- is also on speed dial
- is the caring older sister (without the brown eldest sibling trauma 💀)
- reposts all the dumb pics of herself that kanha tags her in and adds individual captions with the patience of only kanhas eternal consort 🥰
kanha : *posts of a pic of himself looking swag and radhe scratching her nose mid blink* RADHE ❤️
radhe : *resharing* I've never looked so good, new pfp material 😂
kanha : *comments* wow i get to be in ur pfp 🥹🥹🥹🥹 #blessed
radha : like u are not literally in all of them 🙄
y/n : *posts a vid of radha single-handedly doing dhakka to y/n's broken down car, kanha doing 😍 face in bg*
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cherrysoojins · 1 year ago
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i lovedddd your jisung boyfriend texts and i saw your request posts and that it was open i neeeededddd to ask if you could make just a short cute fic of going on a grocery run, getting coffee, just anything like that w/ jisung :((((
ur lucky i was in a creative mood tonight because i had like 2 paragraphs already done for this and this inspired me to finish it
press here for the reference post !!
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savoring.
every moment you’re able to share with jisung, you will savor it till the end, just as you do the last bite of sweet pastries.
idol! jisung x college! reader, fluff, affection, sfw, coffee dates, dates in general, cute & sweet, even made me a lil’ giddy writing it and thats hard to do bc i find everything cringe, short oneshot/drabble, not proofread.
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“i don’t like it,” jisung commented, sliding the flavorful coffee he begged you to try back to your side of the table, making you roll your eyes and take it back, a small smile on your lips as you brought your lips to the straw to drink it.
“you only like americanos. which is so odd because you have a sweet tooth.” you replied, taking your eyes off your phone to see him happily slurping on his iced americano with a small little dance that never failed to make you roll your eyes, look down at your phone again and act like you don’t know him.
it was your weekly coffee date, but with a twist. you two went to new coffee places every week, your goals being to go to every single coffee place in seoul. oddly enough, some blogger had already done that and there was a list online of literally every single coffee place in seoul, constantly getting updated with new ones to you and jisung’s advantage. what’s even more shocking, you two aren’t even half way through the list despite being at this for a year.
but you also remembered jisung is literally part of one of the most popular kpop groups right now, constantly touring and having a busy schedule, and you were in your second to last year in college that was probably the hardest year of your life that took up a lot of your time as well.
so moments like these with him, you both savored and made the most out of it. you two only separated ways when it was about to hit midnight and you two had to begrudgingly leave each other to go back to your busy lives.
“what’s after this?” jisung asked plucking your phone from your hand and putting it in your vintage tote bag that he refused to let you carry on your own, putting his own phone in shortly after.
the simple gesture made you giddy, making you want to stomp your feet at the butterflies fluttering in your stomach. it was so simple, but it showed that he wanted your full attention and wanted the day to be just about you two without distractions.
“my friend just opened a bakery a couple blocks away from here,” you said, both hands on your coffee as you stirred it around with your straw, looking back up at him with a smile. “we should stop there first. then grocery shopping?” you asked him.
“sounds good, baby.” he replied sweetly, grabbing your tote bag from off the back of the chair and slinging it on his shoulder, pulling his black mask over his face and making sure his beige bucket hat sat over his eyes to complete the disguise.
as you got up, grabbing your coffee and his because he was already carrying your bag, it was only fair you also carried something of his, he approached you quickly, pulling his mask down and bringing his hands to your cheeks to make you look at him mid reaching across the small circular table to grab his coffee, pressing his lips against yours.
“god, you taste like that coffee.” he said in mock disgust, pulling his mask back up and grabbing his coffee before you could, starting to walk towards the door of the cafe.
yeah, you will continue to savor these sweet little moments as much as possible.
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iloveslllycatss · 2 years ago
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## "𝐖𝐀𝐓𝐓𝐏𝐀𝐃 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘"
𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘳𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘳𝘰𝘣𝘣𝘺 𝘬𝘦𝘦𝘯𝘦 𝘹 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘯𝘰𝘵𝘦𝘴 ! 𝘍𝘖𝘙 𝘔𝘓 𝘏𝘈𝘉𝘐𝘉𝘛𝘐 𝘕𝘈𝘋𝘖𝘖𝘕 @sttarzxx 𝘢𝘭𝘴𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘪𝘴 𝘣𝘢𝘴𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘧𝘧 𝘰𝘧 𝘮𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘸𝘦𝘦𝘬, the paraghraph text and response to it was copy and pasted from me and the dude this happened to me withs chat......... 𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴 ! 𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘴��� 2 𝘧𝘭𝘶𝘧𝘧, 𝘋𝘠𝘐𝘕𝘎 𝘐𝘕𝘚𝘐𝘋𝘌 (𝘫𝘬)
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"im gonna do it. im gonna text him."
you were on vc with your best friend. for context, you had a crush. a MASSIVE crush on a boy named robby. you had liked him for 2 years now, the only bad thing? you guys were barely friends. you guys had a class together, and he would always talk to you (hed call u weird when u declared you were spiderman.).. all until you left school for second semester. you hadnt seen robby in about 6 months, but you still liked him (attachment issues go hard). u guys used to text, too. itd mostly be u texting with double chats and him replying in a dry way... but u still liked him AHAHA, so 2 days ago.. you asked your friend for his number...
"hey"
you texted, and he replied right away
"hi"
after that, you guys had texted for 5 minutes, asking things like "hru" or "wyd" until he finally said
"who even are u?"
your eyes widened seeing this, and you were a pussy, so you said
"im f/n (fake name)"
you guys, for another day kept texting back and fourth.. the only thing is, you acted like u didnt have a clue who he was, what he liked, and what he did.
"i do karate, i think its cool to have balance in your life and karate gave me that."
..... you already knew that, but you couldnt help but act like u didnt.
it was like u two havent met eachother. but little did u know, he was observant as fuck.
"you know u remind me of someone, u text the same as her. her name is y/n"
he said, and ur eyes widened. u couldnt believe that he had memorized your texting style. but you were a pussy, so u denied it.
a couple days go by and u guys still text, you overthink everything he says and you were starting to think your friends were getting tired of you ranting ab it to them all the time. there was this one time where u two had been talking, and the convo? it wasnt good. at all.
"k"
he said, and you furrowed ur eyebrows...
"WYM K?? THATS LIKE THE DRIEST MESSAGE EVER"
....
"yeah ik"
...... what? you couldnt believe it. was he bored of u already? were u being too annoying? were u just a bother?
your heart sunk, and u felt ur knees go weak. not weak in a "i just folded" typa way, but in a "im gonna kms" typa way.
your thoughts kept flooding with things like "i just annoyed him" or "he doesnt want to talk to me anymore." and you wanted to cry.
you start to rant ab it to your friends, balling ur eyes out as u do, you were in ur head about it, letting it get to you. your hands trembled as u typed about it to your friends. you had always been insecure about your personality, not wanting ppl to see u as too much or crazy. so u finally replied to him.
"ok"
its been 15 since youve been on delivered (or read, he didnt have read recipts on)
u desperately wanted to talk to him so u sent anotyher message
"hihii"
when he replied, you got so happy u forgot about the fact that you were crying about him the night before. but the thing is, he would leave u on read the whole day, and it stressed u out.
everyone had been telling u to just tell him who u were, and to stop being a pussy. hell, even snap ai wasnt on your side. so u write a paragraph, wanting to send it to him
"hi robby, so ive been feeling kinda bad recently for this and i hope u forgive me and that this doesnt ruin our 'friendship' kinda thing going on, basically i lied ab like a couple things and i feel bad IFDJNEJN so uh im y/n (u guessed right kinda craz) and IK I LIED AB NOT KNOWING B/F/N BUT I FELT LIKE ITD BECOME AWKS and stuff, f/n is my online name since ion give my real name out (and its a nickname my freinds call me), im sorry for acting like i didnt know who u were i was just being a pussy difjejfn but the truth is i asked b/f/n to send me a bunch of (school name) numbers and u was like the only person (other than 2 girls) who texted me back and I DIDNT KNWO IT WASS U AT FIRST but when u told me who u were i didnt know how to keep the 'friendship' going (r we friends??? idek atp) nd ik this is gonna make everything awkward and stuff but uh yeah im really really sorry for lying 2 u and i hope we can still b friends lol (ts up 2 u//im coming back next year too so idk if that helps EKJFNEIJNF)"
SENT !
... you were stressing atp, would he block u? would he be dry? would he ghost u? say "oh ok"? call u weird and tell everyone?
you didnt know how to feel, you wanted to cry. you were in ur head about this whole situation and u couldnt help but overthink. so u turn to your best friends, wanting-- no, needing reassurance. they continue to tell u its okay and that he wont break your heart. but you cant help it, that feeling. that feeling of your heart sinking, the feeling of the lump that forms in your throat, the feeling where you just want to feel better. but you cant. you were paranoid. you were tearing up. but you forced yourself not to cry, u didnt wnat to be a crybaby, but u couldnt help it. the tears had already formed and started to fall, your vision fogging up and your eyelashes wet. you couldnt believe u thought ur lifew could be like a wattpad love story. you were cracking your knuckles and picking at the skin around your cuticles, something u did when u were stressed. you then went to bed, hoping everything would be okay.
the next morning u wake up. the first thing u do is check every other social media and dm before his, you had a feeling he was gonna make u cry (again).
when u finally open the text, your whole expression lights up.
"I mean I suspected it and I am personally fine with the lie you told and yea I can forgive u but as you know I am a dry texter"
you were so happy. u couldnt believe it. you quickly change his contact name back from "oh" to "ROBBYYY! <33" and you smiled so big your jaw started to hurt
maybe there was a chance.
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@/ilovesillycats
plz dont copy my work 😞
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rweoutofthewoods · 5 months ago
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hey,
just saw the ask about someone discussing ur characterisation of James in young blood and how they thought he wasn’t a ‘baddie’ and that he was ‘not cool’ (btw this isn’t like hate to the person who asked this or anything incase u reply to this publicly and they see this, ik they said they don’t mean it as hate, I’m just saying what I was thinking cause I think the difference is interesting I guess🫣 so all love!!! ANYWAYS.)
I just thought it was interesting cause I did not get that vibe at all from James in the story. What I got from it was that James was actually cool in juvie, in a lowkey probably a little shit, who is funny and annoyingly endearing kinda way. I also thought he was a ‘badass’ in his own kinda way. But I don’t rlly think ‘badass’ is the best way to describe him in this fic tho, i think it’s more he is very capable and able at holding his own but he’s not like some intimidating, cool and mysterious typical badass (I’ve written this word too many times I hate it now😔) like what I feel Regulus is more like. And I also did get the impression he was a ‘bad kid’ but in a more ‘ I was a good kid and I’m a good kid in my core but something shit happened to me so now I’m acting out and doing bad things cause I don’t know how to properly deal with what’s happened to me , people expect it of me and this is my coping mechanism plus the whole getting myself hurt makes me feel better in a way kinda way (that doesn’t make sense I don’t think BUT WE MOVE) and he doesn’t come across as supposed to have been some teen who was out here doing all this mega bad boy (ew I don’t like that phrase but I’m using it anyways) crimes, but more like enough to get u in juvie ones and be significantly concerning. I could ramble more cause that fat ass paragraph doesn’t even fully express what I got from the way u wrote James. But just overall I think it’s interesting how ppl can get different things out of the same piece of writing. Also sorry if what I interpreted it as, is not what you were looking for, it probs did come across the way u wanted I’m just shit at explaining well and concisely lol.
ALSO (sorry if u hate me for this 10k essay oopsies) the thing about u worrying that James seems OOC but saying he’s not, ur just portraying the effects of childhood. I PERSONALLY DID NOT READ IT AND THINK HE WAS OOC, PLEASE DO NOT STRESS ABOUT IT UR WRITING IS FABULOUS AND IM VERY MUCH GETTING WHAT UR PUTTING ACROSS. Like u can tell by the way James acts with his friends and his internal monologue that he would be what some people more typically see James as, but it’s his trauma which is preventing him from properly being so. Like it’s just this road block. AND EVEN IF HE DOES GET OOC ITS REALISTIC WHO CARES, ILL FIGHT ANYONE WHO DOES, ITS UR FIC(unless you care then I apologise queen) but it’s so realistic like I went through a rlly shitty thing in my early teenage years and personally I think I’m a completely different person cause of it, and it’s interesting to read the way James changes because of what happens to him. Personally, I rlly like the way u write James (omd especially in EOITV I just want to gush over that fic for a second, it’s chefs kiss I love it so much, thank you for creating it, your mind is a wonderful place) I like how he can be a bit more messy, it’s interesting (also that reminds me another reason why I don’t think he’s spineless in young blood, cause he had a go at Regulus when they were fighting and I was like YEAH I KNOW U CAN SAY UNFAIR THINGS BUT ALSO STANDING UP FOR URSELF AND ACTING OUT AND NOT BEING PERFECT YAY, cause sometimes I do see James written in situations like that where he just takes it (nothing wrong with that I just personally prefer where he can gives just as good as he gets sometimes!:)))).
I need to stfu this is way to long, I’m actually embarrassed and scared u think I’m like some obsessed weirdo, I’m not I promise, it’s just 2:30 am and the most common feedback I get on school essays is ‘stop the waffle’. So long ass pieces of writing tend to be a bit too familiar with me 😔
okay last bit I promise, but THE AMOUNT OF NEW FICS U HAVE AND THE RATE U BANG THEM OUT?!?!, whenever I come to your blog and see a post about a new fic, I’m like wow your insane but in the best way possible cause how is this possible?! How are you able to do this?! This is so impressive ?!😭 Cause ur fics r to such a good writing standard and each one is so unique and different to each other, I run around my room in excitement each time u post a new chapter.
I could go on but I won’t because the fear of appearing a tinsy bit insane is real and idk if this is overwhelming, but yeha sorry, my waffling tendencies can be my downfall 😭
but uhhhhh Yeha overall, your writing and ability to write is very impressive, bye 😗😁
Hello!! I can’t answer you privately bc ur anon so I’ll start by saying: that ask? No lingering thoughts or feelings about it whatsoever and this reply is not even going to be about that, just what you’ve said. I can’t imagine how much time it took you to write all that because it takes me FOREVER to write replies to asks, so I appreciate your time and ofc have to write you a response because I’m honored <33
Just on the subject on Youngblood James. You put it perfectly and I think I said this in my end notes vaguely—childhood trauma changes EVERYTHING. Exactly as you said, I myself had a pretty shitty childhood and I think I’d be an entirely different person if I’d grown up differently. I got BPD out of it (😭) and Youngblood James got some pretty fucked up mental health and coping skills. And it was my hope that seeing James thru Reg’s POV and seeing his relationship with his friends etc. that you’d be able to see there’s still some of that James Potter we know and love, BUT part of James’ canon character (or fanon idk) is that he grew up comfortably, privileged, with two loving parents, getting whatever he wanted. We see it in canon with how cocky and in need of some humbling he was, and Youngblood James got way more than humbled, his life got blown to bits and while he was very, very, young. Before he even would have been Hogwarts age in canon. SO, I don’t think he’s OOC at all, I think he’s exactly who he’d be if those things happened to him. And I put a lot of thought into his character and his actions. So me fearing him seeming OOC is really just that I can put things out into the world but I never have any idea how it will be taken or if my intentions will be realized.
I didn’t intend for him to be badass at all because like… James’ crimes were all really in efforts to self-destruct. Him fighting people he did because he wanted to be hurt. Stealing a car? Well… we know by now how that ended. I also will note I didn’t intend reg to be badass either (tho maybe his character naturally is a little bit) because Youngblood isn’t about that, or how cool it is to commit crimes. it’s about how fucked up the system is, how childhood trauma lingers, how we need to do more to support and help kids in need instead of writing them off. So many kids act out or get in trouble because of much deeper reasons than them just wanting to cause trouble. And I say this as someone who was a kid who acted out, and who also recently as a more straight and narrow adult now, had their car fucking vandalized and literally SHOT AT by a bunch of kids. But I can look at those kids in real life, in my town, and I know the families they come from, I know there’s things going on behind closed doors. And yeah, was I pissed? Ofc, actually I was pretty devastated. I worked 7 days a week to buy that car and it was my first. there being reasons doesn’t make their actions okay, but I can also see that here in real life, children are being failed when they’ve barely had a chance at life yet. And Youngblood is really my attempt to humanize these issues and draw light to how we may be failing children. ANYWAY there was my long winded rant. I lost the plot a bit tbh but I could go on about Youngblood 😭
So in short, James in my opinion is not OOC, and ur right he is not weak either, because trauma and mental health issues doesn’t equate to weak. I think you exactly hit the nail on the head and it’s always appreciated when I feel like someone really gets my characters. My James is my James, and he’ll always be so special to me, every single version, because no matter what universe I throw him in, I always know exactly who he is and what makes him that way.
This is so long, I don’t really expect anyone to read this but you (hopefully), but this is just for you anyway <33 I appreciate all your kind words and interesting thoughts and I love how you said it’s interesting that ppl can read the same thing and get something different out of it. Because the amount of times I’ve written something and realized ppl got something entirely different than I’d expect honestly shocks me. And sometimes it’s sad if ppl miss my point, but mostly I think it’s beautiful that we can all interpret things differently.
Hope you have the best week and life is treating you warmly xx
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raytm · 8 months ago
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knowing your partner can potentially make writing together a lot easier.
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– BASICS.
✧ NAME: ray !!! ✧ PRONOUNS: he / him & they / them. ( sometimes ) ✧  SEXUALITY: ur local questioning pan - ace something. ✧  TAKEN OR SINGLE: single dad to 2 cats ( they aren't actually mine )
– THREE FACTS.
✧ i am adhd brain very chronically. i forget things alot, i bounce around alot ?? my attention span is always quite short ?? without my meds im pretty suire i would be an atom floating in space ?? i am also autistic so you can probably see the issue i have with both of these 2 things bbeating heads all the time. ✧ i am australian, we are real, i do not sound like an aussie but also apparently i do which is ??? ✧ i am 4'8 i am very small ic annoty reach aznything pls send a tall person to make my life signifantly easier.
– EXPERIENCE.
✧   HOW LONG (MONTHS / YEARS?): i have been writing since fucking like before 2010. so a long ass time. ✧   PLATFORMS YOU’VE USED: gaming websites, chatzy, discord, facebook, tumblr, random forums like rp.me idk what th at was about though. ✧   BEST EXPERIENCE: i meet alot of talented writers on tumblr so that's probably my best experience i think ?? i learn alot and get the chance to read some prettyt artistic writing and interesting hcs
– MUSE PREFERENCES.
✧   FEMALE OR MALE:i gravitate towards male muses ALOT but for some reason sparkle has got my by the throat rn. ✧  FLUFF, ANGST OR SMUT: i can and will writ4e all of these, i have a preference more towards angst & smut because fluff can become a little ?? meh after a while. but i do love me some domestics as a treat everynow and again. ✧   PLOTS OR MEMES: mermes mostly bc i suck ?? at plotting ?? so badly honestly i am allowed 1 thought every 100 hours and idk when that is coming tbh. so you can always ssend a meme in and we can continue it or just ?? slap me with ur muse like a fish. ✧   LONG OR SHORT REPLIES: i want to say usually 2-3 paragraphs but for some reason everytime i open google docs lately i end up writing 5-10 paragraphs which should be illegal. ✧   BEST TIME TO WRITE: after i take my adhd meds oml. usually morning - afternoon whyen the sun goes down so do it ✧ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S): idk maybe >??>>> i guess ??? i feel l;ike this is a querstion i shoudl ask someone who knows me better OFONFNDCXN
TAGGED BY: mpo tags ypoui take it from me <3
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fightaers · 8 months ago
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KNOWING YOUR PARTNER WELL CAN POTENTIALLY MAKE WRITING TOGETHER A LOT EASIER.
REPOST DO NOT REBLOG !!
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NAME: bellaaaaaaaaaa. bella for short
PRONOUNS : she/her but they/them if ure unsure is also coolio
PREFERENCE OF COMMUNICATION : bad on all front, but discord slightly less so
NAME OF MUSE(s) : god, i have so many. feel free to browse <3
BEST EXPERIENCE : when i first entered the animanga rpc i had a really, really good time from the get-go ngl. for a while, right until my revival in 2024, i was sort of more into the 'western / live action' side of the rp media, and i kept remembering how much of a good time i had in the animanga rpc, which triggered my interest in returning.
my other best experience is basically when i learn from my dearest mutuals then how not to be afraid to project ur muses' voices into their narration, which allowed me to have incredible fun with exercising different mindset and speech patterns and/or different dialects since!
RP PET PEEVES / DEALBREAKERS : uhhh this is pretty specific to my experience and quite particular — thus i hope to elaborate it well — but i highly dislike when writing partners tried crafting our threads into only benefiting / leveraging their own muse(s) rather than it being a collaborative effort for both our muses' character development. this happened to me only ... twice so far ? so it's quite rare considering i've been writing for ten years, but i'm suuuuper sensitive about this.
so for example right, what usually happens is me and my writing partner would talk about our muses and we see common ground and where we could expand on a point of conflict. both our muses then benefit from this point of thread because the narrative we've written ought to challenge their perspective, and this can be driven with angst, drama, whatever genre this can be explored in etc.
now what i'm pointing out specifically is when the writing partner would only try to have their own muse's emotions and challenges on the forefront of the plot, with no consideration to mine, which i think defeated the purpose of roleplaying in entirety because roleplaying especially is supposed to be a collaborative effort for all writers involved. but no, it's their muse's pain that's significant. it's only their suffering that outweighed everyone else's, and my character typically is became an "affirmation" or a "booster" to their muses' experience.
i have a few turn-off's but this one is definitely one of the highest.
MUSE PREFERENCES: oh maaaan, i've written characters from sooo many ranges. typically it's whoever tickled my brain at the moment <333 but lately i do realise i'm often drawn to
(1) outwardly soft-looking people (2) have crazy dedication value; sometimes absurdly loyal to a cause / person (3) most of the time they're brown-haired and/or dark-haired (4) a lot of them give earthy and/or green vibe
and if it's the opposite, it's either someone struggling with their temper and/or have their viewpoint challenged or exploited. don't believe me, check out my western multi as well to see where i'm ticking the boxes. ( i'm on hiatus there but still. look at the muses. )
PLOTS OR MEMES : fuuuuuuck. i'm super bad with first-time plotting not gonna lieeeee. listen, my attention span's crap. my method is usually this: we plot minimally ( usually to establish the timeline and/or where our muses stand ) and then i prefer winging the first thread, usually to gauge the pace of the writing, ur muses' thoughts and/or reactions so mine could bounce off of yours, and then i'd rain in your IM / discord to yap my way into ur heart 🫶 i looove when my mutuals would yap at me right back. i love substances, and i love context. i love knowing what my partners want to achieve or what they're satisfied / dissatisfied with so we can work around that. so yes, thread > plot > memes.
LONG OR SHORT REPLIES : wish i'm a short-replier. born a long-replier. working on making my paragraphs more concise though. that's on my 2024 writing bingo for sure!
BEST TIME TO WRITE : when i want to 💀  and i have no idea when. usually when i'm rested enough so if i'm dead tired on friday, there's a chance i'll still be ghosting the dash on saturday. i try not to........ push myself so hard on my availability, which is why it's important i stress out how i am a low-activitiy blog, because i know that even if i push myself when i don't want to, it won't work. my brain would dead-ass refuse to cooperate.
ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S) : i'm definitely flawed, which is something i like exploring with my muses, because i think i've tried so hard since i was 15 to be perfect. that isn't to say my characters and i share the same flaw, but unlike in real life, exploring my characters' area of weaknesses and how that can have its consequences is perhaps a catharsis for me since i could safely navigate it within a narrative i could ( somewhat ) control. it's freeing. writing has always been freeing in that sense.
tagged: @dynmghts and @ingen1um ( u sexy people muaah <3 ) tagging: @fighterbound , @bladedhunter , @kiigan , @senjufound and whoever that wants to it !!!!!
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findroleplay · 2 months ago
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HAIIII I'm Kaz , I go she/him I am 15. So fair warning on that
Anyways onto rp!!
literacy level: I am a novel or like literate person, I usually do 2-5 paragraphs . But if I get into the rp or I'm describing a past I can go over the limit!
Pairings!: I usually do MxM mostly because I'm most comfortable with that (also I'm gay…shh don't tell anyone I said that..) but I can do MxF if you don't feel comfortable with males kissing
Dms?: my dms are always open! I will usually reply within a few minutes !! If I don't I am off school or not on my phone!!
Ocs?: I usually have male ocs! My ocs range from different personality, I can play alot of different things! But I do have a handful of female ocs.
Canon?: I could do Canon! It just depends if I know the show/movie/anime or not! Or if even like a character enough to play them
Are you friendly?: well now I don't wanna seem fake but I am very much friendly! I usually strike up conversations for no reason , I'm not only looking for a roleplay partner but a friend! So if ur lonely come on down to uh. Kaz town!!
Are you ok with one liners?: well, sometimes? It depends, see sometimes I match the energy my partner has! I get that coming up with stuff is hard (idk if it goes for u but I'm really dumb) and one liners are ok! But not every response, yk?
Interests?: I am into chainsaw man, jjk, hunter x hunter, demon slayer, sally face, gorillaz and much more!! Though I am willing for you to yap to me about ur interest!!
Triggers? : I don't really have any! But by all means tell me yours, I have ocs that deal with heavy topics such as SA and abuse .
Ok that's all…hit me up 😏 (please.)
-
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kooevi1 · 8 months ago
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i’ve decided to look for some rps! here are some rules to follow :3
- i’m only gonna do rps through discord dms!
- be 18+! it’s gonna be really awkward (and illegal) if i find out you’re not within that age range.
•With that, be okay with smut in our rps!
- I realllyyyyy don’t care if u decide u wanna do OCs or reader (Y/N) paired with a member. anything like that is fine by me! As long as u don’t make it weird and obsessive (trust me, I CAN TELL. I’m not stupid.). On the other hand, im not gonna negotiate memberxmember bc that makes me uncomfy since i see them more as brothers/friends
im most familiar with bts. any other mention of groups is not allowed unless i say otherwise.
- this is totally something i perfer, you don’t have to follow it, but i love elaborate rps. it gets my mind runnin on some ideas!
i love angst !! and cliches!
i personally don’t perfer idol aus, hybrid aus, yandere aus, or high school aus
don’t be afraid to ask me for some input on your rp idea! I’m always happy to help. also, if you’re confused on whether the rp is ok with me just ask me.
- im gonna allow one single rp (my chara and member) and two double rps (your chara and my chara with our own respective members). im gonna be a little picky since options are limited. i will pause the ad once i found a few partners!
- write in paragraph form (1-2 is preferable) and 3rd person. if you happen to have a sample of ur writing i appreciate it!
- i will mostly reply on weekends, maybe weekdays if i don’t have much to do.
- last but not least, please be considerate of my circumstances! i have a life outside of rp and wanna take some time for myself. I will not hesitate to drop our rp if you push my boundaries. Respect goes both ways. However, communicate with me if I’m constantly absent in our rp!
plum out, mwah!
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miidnighters · 8 months ago
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⋆ NAME?: Brodie ! no nicknames alas
⋆ PRONOUNS?: she/her
⋆ MOST ACTIVE MUSE(S)?: all 7 of the buttheads
⋆ RP PET PEEVES?: i have a few but I also don't want to air them because I don't want people to think that I'm being mean bc I was Assigned Baby At Birth. probably my biggest one is not respecting the lore/detail of someone else's character? like I was saying to someone the other day like with flynn, where I make reference to it being night & him being able to see and then in the next reply the partner is like "the mid afternoon sun blazes down" and i'm just like smh. if that sort of thing happens consistently that tells me you're not actually reading my replies or caring about my character, you're just waiting for your turn (obvs one off mistakes are different but yk)
⋆ EXPERIENCE / HOW MANY YEARS?: i've been here since 2009 in the rpc but longer just on tumbles in general (and I legitimately only learned what softblocking was yesterday rip)
⋆ FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT?: of those three fluff then angst (but no too much bc I might cry) then smut (but only reading it not writing it bc I'm shy)
⋆ PLOTS OR MEMES?: it is no surprise to anyone that follows me that I am a ho for the memes. i love winging stuff and seeing what the characters do with it
⋆ LONG OR SHORT REPLIES?: my sweet spot for my own writing is around that 2 paragraph mark but any reply is a good reply u know?
⋆ TIME TO WRITE?: so because I WFH i am online and writing literally all day but I would say my prime hours are first thing in the morning. in the summer thats about 4am-lunch but atm were closer to 6/7am. i usually tap out when I clock off at 4 - but also this works bc it aligns me better with when people in other time zones are on
⋆ ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE(S)?: there are parts of me in every muse I write. idk how to write without leaving aspects of myself behind you know? Funnier still, there are aspects of my husband in my male muses especially (bc how could I not model them off the best man that I know?)
Tagged by: @demonstigma (ur tag didn't work but i saw it i got u bb) and I saw @abysswarden post it earlier as well and went "I should do that" Tagging: @starlyht | @laidbear | @sorrowsick | @epistrefei | @brittlefcrged
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lifesver · 11 months ago
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[ louder, groundshaking boss music in retaliation ] howdy kels :)) i very much share the sentiment that meeting you has been nothing short of so amazing, hilarious, heartbreaking, and so much good vibes so far ♡ i've said it quite some times before i know, broken record, but truly am so very happy to have met you, gotten to write all these absolutely wild aus and dynamics with you and i am so very cheering on what all of it - and what you will bring to our dashes - in the coming year c: i'm very VERY much looking forward to seeing where you take leland, to be able to read all your newspaper publishings across the dash, and where these kiddos will take us all. im very happy to be in this little corner with you guys. :) ♡
you bring such a strong breath of life into leland - he's realistic, he's brave even when he's absolutely terrified and has no clue how to go forward. his love for his friends is so very clearly shown in everything you write regarding either the dires or the friends simply goofing around. he comes across like such a living, breathing character and its thanks to the dedication and love you put in for him. from a guy that gun seems adamant on reducing so badly ( and so fucking wrongly ) as so one-dimensional, icky gross jock stereotype, you've allowed him to grow into such a precious, adorable, kind-hearted guy that honestly? i feel most people would kill to have as a friend. he's silly and warm and goofy in all the right ways and when things go wrong he's so complex and fractured and his depth truly gets to shine in those darker moments.
which of course brings me to that note; all the flavors of the dire aus :))
it has been SO MUCH FUN and SO VERY HEARTBREAKING getting to write with leland and maria in NOSY in particular. their dynamic alone is so gut-wretchingly tragic just on surface level, but the depth that it sinks into, in all of their trajectories, all of their shared dynamics with johnny & lamb, their complex and confusing feelings towards the friends, its been absolutely a blast getting to brainstorm and shoot ideas at all hours about it and im so thankful i get to be part of that experience with both you and lamb. your minds and your love for leland and johnny really bring out such a passion in return to me to write and brainstorm more and its been an amazing experience bouncing ideas off from you two. i absolutely cannot wait to see how, whether in threads or in ask responses, NOSY / WSU and all its different trajectories and more play out as this new year goes on.
i also very much enjoy all the little ideas and hcs and posts we all get ot bounce off of one another - esp getting silly with the aliases, im just adoring all the ways that we're expanding these kiddos to places gun could Literally Never honestly.
ill end it here but know i admire you, your characterization of leland, the love you have for him that so clearly shows in everything you post, your writing as a whole ( because holy shit i adore leland's inner thoughts, how you describe the world and people around him at any given moment!! )and likewise that i read your work, even simple hcs, and its inspiring to get to form a reply to.
i love you and value you and your friendship and as a writing partner and i truly hope this year is nothing but great and rewarding to you as well!! ♡♡♡
UGH RENEE i finally reply to this bc it's so kind and i need it on my blog. i did not expect u to uno reverse me but perhaps i should have, in fact, known-- no but like idk man i don't have a lot of words but this means so much 2 me and i'm so happy to write with you and be ur pal and just be crafting these dynamics and completely out of hand narrative arcs. like it's so nice to just go off the rails w you ik i can pitch something unhinged and u will pull up with another several paragraphs and suddenly we're crying on the ground in shamblse. it keeps happening -- (and i love it)
ur so sweet TT___TT thank u for tolerating me and the jock we love u. i adore all our dynamics so much. and i wanna hype you and ur writing up all the time you always insp me!!! raaaa
i look forward to hanging out with you even more in the new year, and seeing all that you do with your writing on here, it's such a blast to collaborate, and you guys all keep me inspired to write on here and think of new stuff. (and shout out u in particular for always leaving me about a thousand inbox prompts that hurt my feelings that i am possessed to draft 23423432 word replies to. thanks for enabling my angst and drama and dire writing ur so real for that genuinely)
i have waxed poetic in ur inbox i'll shut up before i just ramble the same nonsense here but like ily sm MWAHH
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carmenized-onions · 6 months ago
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Ad Interim. | No Service
logline; The days and doubts and desires; the air, underneath the shoe.
[!!!] series history, this is the ninth; the amount of links are getting nauseating just go to the landing LMAO.
Spotify Playlist, if you like to listen while you read. I listen to it when I write :) Constantly gettin’ added to. I listen to this playlist too much in my day to day now, fr.
portion; 3k+
possible allergies; you're almost ten chapters in, you know very well by now that these two are rife with anxiety and insecurity.
pairing; Carmen ‘Carmy’ Berzatto & Fem Reader (gets she/her'd mb)
fun fact: i finished this one 19 hours after the last chapter, whoops, but let it sit in my drafts to give some breathing room and do some rework
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It is t-minus three days, until the worst Friday of your life.
But today’s Tuesday, and though you feel a touch uneasy, you figure it’s probably just the breakfast from yesterday at La Mattina settling in your stomach— Or, at least, hope it is.
You’re at home, sitting on your couch, pensive, haggard, leaned over. Elbows to knees, prayer hands to face, staring at your phone on the coffee table in front of you.
Just send it. Just send the text. Don’t be a fucking wuss. You’ve re-written it in your notes app like five fucking times— He does not care this much, he doesn’t even have basic reading comprehension— Okay, that’s mean— But it’s just not that deep. Just fucking! Send it!
Actually no, no, upon sixth review, the paragraph you had written out was way too intense, way too presumptive. Backspace, backspace, backspace—Just say hi. Let’s just start with Hi.
‘Yooooooooo’
Are you fucking possessed? Good Lord. How is he already typing he never used to reply this fast, what the fuck—
‘Are u fucking haunted?’
‘Fuck is yooooooo’
‘Yooo to you too, cousin’
Faster texter now, but Richie is still the same guy, at the end of the day.
‘this is a loaded fucking question’
‘but do you think you’ll be free any time this week?’
‘not unless ur dead or dying’
‘are you dead or dying?’
‘not that I’ve heard’
‘but I was thinking maybe we could like, get food or smth’
‘chat one on one. Been a minute, yknow’
That was too much. You didn’t need to do all that. Now he’s gonna go well who’s fault is that? And it’s yours. You know it’s yours. And then you’re gonna have that fucking conversation— Which is what this whole meet up thing was supposed to be about in the first place—
‘heard’
‘can’t get time off but fak needs to have his training wheels ripped’
‘could have dinner at the bear this week? Like 2 hours. Then I can watch him and keep him from shitting the bed’
‘and still get to do a fucking one on one, you corporate speak ass’
‘I didn’t know how else to fucking say it alright!!!!!!’
‘Dinner @ bear sounds good to me’
‘but probably ask carm/syd first if it’s cool’
‘yea yea I’ll fuckin check in with daddy don’t worry’
‘that sucked for me. That sucked to read. Go to jail.’
‘already have.’
‘I’ll let u know a time when I know. See u chip’
You heart it. The classic signal that it’s the end of a conversation. Holy shit. You did it. You actually texted someone that you miss that you miss them— Not directly, but you know Rich knows. And specifically, to book a dinner, to talk about what happened, to apologize for it. That’s pretty fucking huge. Which means—
It’s time to eat a whole freezer cake and lay in your pyjamas all day and interact with not a single soul on this entire planet. You’re absolutely at your social limit, for the day. Maybe you’ll talk it through with Mikey, actually. To the air, more accurately, but, y’know, same thing.
You’re gonna get dinner with Richie. You’re gonna get dinner, with Richie, this Friday. And it’s not gonna be awkward or weird, at all.
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It is t-minus two days, until the worst Friday of Carmen’s life, so far, at least. There’s always next year.
But today’s Wednesday, and though he feels a little nerve-wracked, he’s pretty sure it’s just because the kitchen was so fucking dysfunctional this morning, and now that their prep’s off, the tempo of the whole fucking day is off, and they're behind on two tables. And fucking seriously this time, can someone get him a fucking marker that fucking works.
Okay, maybe it’s a little more, than nerve wracked.
Sydney is ever the intuitive, and always correct, at the station next to him— Because yes, they’re still down a hire since the meth guy, so now Carmen is on line.
She can tell, that somethings wrong with him, something’s always wrong with him. “Take your ten, Chef.”
Carmen shakes his head, obviously, there’s still prep to catch up on. And if he doesn't do it, it's not gonna get done, and even if it does get done, it's not gonna get done right. He’s pressing the dead sharpie down on the tape, like if he just brute forces it, it’ll start to work. “M’good, Chef.”
“Carmen.” She turns to him fully, stopping her work. And so, he does too. “Take your fucking ten.” She deadpans, she’s not taking no for an answer. She rubs her fist over her heart.
Carmen takes a beat, before nodding, doing the same. “Heard, Chef.”
He needs to look over expense reports that he can’t quite comprehend, anyways.
He really needs his sister. He steps into his office. Despite the fact that they re-constructed just about everything in the restaurant, this musty office remains the same. Untouched. After caving down walls, they had to cut the budget somewhere. He’s glad though, that it's untouched. It might be crowded, poorly organized, have an off smell (probably because of the birth in here, just a few weeks back), but it’s exactly as his brother left it, and that helps him feel… Connected, somehow.
What the hell is Var vs Budget? He’s googling every other word, here. He’s more than grateful, that before going home on mat leave, Sug set up a good enough automated Excel sheet that he could just plug in numbers and it did all the calculating for him. Doesn’t mean he knows what any of the numbers mean, but, they’re there.
He knows that red equals bad. Natalie told him that very specifically. Which did seem like she was calling him fucking stupid, but he let it go. There’s a lot of red. That’s a lot of bad. Well, not a lot, but like, a third of this is red. That’s probably more than it should be. How many months do they have again? Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
He is never gonna get to pay himself, he’s never gonna be able to pay Syd, he's never gonna get her a star, she’s gonna live with her dad for the rest of her life, you are never gonna get to work here, you’re gonna work as a bottle girl for the rest of your life, he’s never gonna get his shit together so he’s never gonna get to call you his, he’s gonna have to hand the deed to Cicero and then fucking everyone is gonna to lose their jobs and he’s still gonna be him. He’s still gonna be him. Carmy Berzatto, the chef that lost everything, little brother to everyone's hero who blew his brains out. Starless in Chicago, unable to feel anything more than sorry for himself. Carmen’s gonna die as Carmen, and nothing more. At the end of the day.
Take a deep breath, Bear. Relax.
He’s catastrophizing. You told him that. He forgot to look into it. He googles that, instead of another business term he doesn’t understand.
‘Fixates on the worst possible outcome and treats it as likely, even when it is not.’
Well, it does seem pretty fucking likely that he’s doomed to fail and fall into a Sisyphean nightmare of opening restaurants and falling on his fucking face, dragging everyone he loves down with him with his stupid failed pipe dreams. He's no better than his brother.
He tries his best to think of whatever level-headed bullshit you'd give to him, right now, tries to taste the hot chocolate, the lavender and cardamom coffee. He smells your shampoo, in his hair, that helps.
Maybe, maybe it’s just been a bad week. Maybe there will be a lot of bad weeks, maybe there won’t be. Maybe things will be fine, maybe they won’t. You and Syd will still succeed, even if he fails. Everyone will, even if he fails. He has a very capable crew. And while he cannot escape the thought that failure is around the corner, at the very least, he is comforted by the idea that at least he will be the only one sinking with the ship he commands.
The thought of drowning alone is still impossible to rid of. Though.
But you’ve sent a text. And isn’t that a wonderful distraction?
Your connection results in response to his, from this morning, of course. You actually got it today. He swells with what feels like pride, and despite the fact that no one's looking at him, he has to hide his smile with his hand, embarrassed by how happy he is, when he sees the photo you’ve sent, just now. A selfie, sitting next to an oven, Other Tony’s oven. You’re holding a fried wire in your hand.
The text below it is a wonderful salve, ‘If you ever fuck up your ovens, I’ve got like, 10 thermocouples in my personal stock now :))’
So good to him, too good to him. Too good to anyone. ‘Heard.’
Carmen so, so fucking desperately wants to ask you to come to The Bear, right now. You’re only two blocks away, at La Mattina. You’d come, if he asked. He knows that. But he also knows that even if you calm him down, in the long run, it’ll set his day even further off tempo, he’ll be distracted the rest of his shift, and that’s the last thing he needs. He can handle this himself.
‘:)’ For levity. Or something. He’s trying. You give it a heart, so that means he’s done something good, he’s pretty sure.
There’s a knock at his door. Richie does not wait for an answer before coming in. His knocks are more like warnings, really. Carmen’s quick to tuck his phone away, he knows it’d be perfect cannon fodder to be teased into oblivion.
“Aye, cous—”
Carmen does not let the man get a word in inch wise, “Who’s on expo?”
Richie grimaces, this fucking song and dance, again. “Syd.”
“Who’s on her station, then?”
“T.”
“And hers?”
“She’s doin’ fuckin’ both Carmy— And—” Richie pulls a sharpie out of his breast pocket, throwing it at him. Carmen catches it. “Fuckin’ works. Alright?”
Marker works, and the system works. He catches the double meaning, too. Carmen nods, “Heard.”
“Christ.” Richie looks to high heaven, looks to his best friend, really, to give him strength. “Can I take my fuckin’ turn now?”
“Yeah, yeah, go ‘head.” Carmen turns to his desk, looking over the excel sheet, again. He can’t imagine Richie needing all of his undivided attention, right now, he’s not you.
Speaking of you, he can’t find your repair expenses anywhere on here. He needs to text Sug, about that. No, she’s got a fucking baby, he’ll at least look for a physical copy, first.
“I need to take two hours, on Friday.”
“Huh?” Carm’s head snaps up. Okay, maybe he does need to give his full attention to Richie, right now. “Eva got a fuckin’ recital, or somethin’?”
“No, no, uh— Chip wants to get dinner.” Rich scratches his nose with his thumb. “Thought since Fak's been training to host f'like, the whole fuckin’ month, could do dinner 'ere, let him do a run on us. Two birds, one bullet, y’know.”
“It’s stone.”
“I’m not fuckin’ high, cousin—” “No, it’s— Alright.” Carmen closes his eyes, hand over his face, deciding this is not the fight he wants to choose. “Tony’s getting dinner with you?”
“If I’m allowed, your fuckin’ Majesty.”
If it were up to Carmen? He wouldn’t be. But you specifically asked. Why, he has no idea. Carmen crosses his arms. “Yeah, yeah, s’fine. Just start at like, a not peak time. Like 4:30? Then when rush starts after 5 Fak’ll have a lil' momentum.”
“Heard. I’ll tell ‘em.” Richie nods, turning to make his way out.
Carm’s leg bounces, a tick that he’s pretty sure he’ll never get rid of. “… Ey Rich?”
He stops, turning back to Carmy, “Yeah, cousin?”
Carmen taps the end of the sharpie on the table, not looking at Richie, “What’s uh— Why d’you call Tony ‘Chip’?”
Ever so slightly, Richie’s brows furrow. “Did'j'ya ask her?”
Carm shakes his head, “S’why I’m asking you.”
Richie takes a beat, head rocking to the side, “Y'should ask her, she’ll tell you.”
Carmy squints, at that, “Is it fuckin’ dark or somethin’, cousin?”
What’s so secretive about Chip? He figured it would be some stupid inside joke with chocolate chips, like Sug with the salt mix up. Richie swallows, frowning just a bit. He clearly does not know how to answer this question, which just makes Carmen even more curious.
“S’ not dark, kinda, it’s just, y’know. Personal.” Since when the fuck did Richie have respect for personal? Probably since he sent him to stage. Goddammit.
“Did you not coin it?”
“Mikey did.”
Oh.
Huh.
Mikey got to do that first, too, eh?
“But, y’know, ask her, she likes you well enough to tell you, I think.” Richie shrugs, palms out. “Kinda tells stories like that better than me, anyways.” That's high praise— Not in the sense that Richie's a great storyteller, but that he's willing to admit it, for you.
“Oh, she doesn’t bury the fuckin’ lead?”
“Oh, fuck you.” But it’s true, so Richie’s amused. There’s something nice, about being known. Even if it’s to tease.
There’s a lull of silence. Quite frankly, Carmen’s hoping that Richie’s general disdain of silence will force him to confess your nickname backstory, just to fill the void. It doesn’t. Instead, it just gears him up, in the worst way, able to read the look on Carmen’s face.
“You really wanna fuckin know, huh?” Richie tilts down his head, teasing. Carmen groans. Oh dear god, why him. “Oh, fuck, you fuckin’ like her, don’t’chu, cousin? You fuckin’ dog.”
“Shut the fuck up, Rich—”
“Aye, Chip’s a real catch, I gettit— Works hard, plays nice, cleans up good— Y’have my blessing.”
“Didn’t ask for it.”
“Aye,” Richie snaps his fingers, pointing at Carmen like he could smite him. “Don’t gimme no talk back, she was my boy first, a’right? One bad word from me, n’ your lil’ fantasy—” He gestures an explosion with his hand, making a ‘pop’ sound with his lips.
“Gone, cousin.”
Carmen leans back in his seat, playing with the sharpie in his hand. He’s essentially Kubrick staring down Richie, but the guy is unaffected. “Friday, 4:30, two hours. If Fak fucks up, you’re on deck.”
“Heard.”
“Jeff, can I please get an all day, baby?” Baby is Tina’s new HR approved version of ‘for the love of fucking god’ She’s definitely at her limit, meaning Syd’s definitely at her limit on expo. Richie starts to step out, walking backwards.
“You comin’ cousin?”
Carm scratches his nose, straightening up back to his desk. He wishes he could go back to the kitchen, where he knows he’s good, instead of in here, with some goddamn spreadsheets that he cannot comprehend beyond bad. “Uh, one sec, I just need to finish this fuckin’—” He shakes his hand in the air, “Whatever the fuck this is.”
Richie nods, tapping the doorway on his way out. “Heard… g’luck.”
Carmen does not look at the spreadsheets. No. He thinks. He doesn't think about business.
That wasn’t true, was it? A phone call from Richie wouldn’t be the end of him, end of you, would it? Carmen is on the losing playing field here, practically everyone here has more history with you than he does. If he had a… lapse in behaviour, and it got back to you, would that ruin him? God, even his work family ruins things for him. Or could. Which means they will. Catastrophizing.
Whatever. What the fuck ever. He needs to find your invoice. After some flipping through last month’s file, he finds a sticky note from Sug between loose pages.
‘reminder: ask carmy 4 tony invoice’
He squints. You said Nat took care of it. Maybe it’s an old sticky note, he’ll text her about it, it’ll be a solid forty hours before he’ll get a response, anyways. Mom stuff. He really needs to go visit his niece again, soon. Maybe this weekend. Take Richie’s car. But then he'll probably will be forced to take Richie, too. Maybe he should just ask you, instead. Let Nat thank you for the heating pad she’s been loving, properly. Have dinner, all together, in an actual family home, instead of just each other's apartments. That'd be nice.
Yeah. Yeah. He’ll ask you on Friday, when you come for dinner. He grabs a pad of paper, biting the cap off his sharpie. He’ll make you something off menu, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, anyways, he’ll have time to play, on Friday.
He’s gonna do right by you, this Friday.
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Tomorrow, you’ll be getting dinner with Richie, and it’ll be the worst Friday of your life.
But right now, it’s Thursday night, and you’ve finally finished Carmen’s piece for The Bear. You know you told him if he didn’t like it, he didn’t have to put it up, but admittedly, if he doesn’t like it, you will be crushed.
One big white canvas.
Nine perfect squares, perfectly equidistant from each other at all angles.
Each square a snippet, a photo transfer. The squares themselves are messy, sun damaged, bleach stained, light flared. All twinged blue and yellowish. But so perfectly cut and curated.
Each image, something new. Starting at the top left, it’s The Original Beef. Then, the inside. Then the booths.
Then the second row, the sandwiches, held in hands.
The center photo. You've taken almost all of these photos on a disposable from yesteryear, but this is the one you like the most.
Mikey. The only transfer completely unbleached, unaltered, unruined. He’s holding two cut outs. One, Food & Wine and the other, a small section in the off off off pages of the New York Times.
Both specifically the one’s that mentioned Carmen, winning Best Chef and the James Beard.
Mikey was so proud. So so proud, silently, just with you— Couldn't look soft. Carmen does not know this photo exists. No one does. You hope this piece will act as the catalyst for you to be able to talk about the elephant in the room you’ve yet to open for him.
Right next to Mikey, is a balloon on a pipe— A photo you grabbed from Sydney and printed. You can only imagine the stress you could’ve eased, during their fire safety test. C’est la vie. Fak got to prove himself.
And on the last row, the new, ritzy, booths. The Seven Fishes dish— Also a photo you stole from Sydney. And finally, The Bear’s sign. Taken at night, lit up in all its neon glory.
Though the images are disconnected, starting from Mikey in the center— Clean, the flaring and staining grows more intense at the pictures in the corner. Just bordering on illegible. It all feels interconnected, woven.
It’s Carmen. Or, at least, you think it is. That’s what you were trying to achieve. You took inspiration from the way his brain works, the way he cooks messy but produces orderly, the way he’s grown something out of what was barely more than nothing. The way love and grief is at the center of everything. He’s awfully inspiring.
You’re excited, to show this to him tomorrow, on Friday. Hopefully all goes well, on Friday. You’re coming before the rush, you’ll probably have a little time to talk, on Friday. You won’t be able to get into everything, no, you’ve promised most of your bandwidth to Richie, but you’ll make a good start, on Friday.
You’re gonna do right, by Carmen, on Friday.
Tomorrow.
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HEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHE
i've still got 2k of beats to cover for the next chapter, and have 7.9k already written out, for it. This is going to be fun. lmao. I'm genuinely very very excited for you to see it, when it comes out. Cannot believe I thought like 4 chapters ago that'd this next chapter would be the one to be released next. I almost briefed over all of these past few chapters to be nothing more than snippets in a chapter, I would never forgive myself if i went through with that plan, fr.
Anyways, no time for the future, this is NOW!! I hope I described Tony's paintin' good. I think it'd be nice. MBMBAM reference in the intro, are you fucking HAUNTED? ARE YOU FUCKING POSESSED? Love griffy, had to. Carmen CANNOT stop having anxiety attacks, someone get him on prozac frfr.
Tell me your thoughts or I'll eat my hat, I'm gonna need some words to chew on while I write, anyways. Hitting a wall choreographing this back half of chapter ten my GOD. Also oh yeah, silly aesthetic thing. I dunno if anyone noticed or cared, but i do a different ombre banner when it's carmen's perspec-- Did it last chapter too, aint that cute?
Also, I must finally give in, I was lazy to do taglists, but have folded, so here u are mfs. If you'd like to be added, you gotta leave me an essay somewhere. It's the RULES! Well, leave an essay and also ask to be added to the taglist that is but IT'S THE RULES!!
@anytim3youwant @navs-bhat @whoknowswhoiamtoday @gills-lounge @slut4supersoldiers @sinceweremutual @itsallacotar @catsrdabestsocks101
fully added people that never asked to be on here, you're just like, top fans, so i thought it would be nice, but if you WANT TO BE TAKEN OFF LET ME KNOW I'LL DO IT IMMEDIATELY ALSO IF I'M FORGETTING ANYONE WHO ASKED PLEASE DO REMIND ME
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