#i see now why people write on desktop
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smiling, giggling, kicking my feet
anyway surprise mf
#genshin x reader#diluc x reader#i hate tumblr sm#it kept posting my posts even though i only save them as a draft#i see now why people write on desktop#anyway does anyone recognize which anime is this hehe#loid forger#yor briar#wip btw#fic: thorn princess
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I’ve had a crazy idea. Why not write the story I’d love to see but with sapphics? It would probably be extremely amateurish since I’ve not written much except poetry in ages!
<Start post>
I sent my irl friend an idea ages ago but the FL’s love interests were men. But who’s to say I can’t make it sapphic??? I wouldn’t be able to show my friend since if too many people know it will read the but there’s a lot of GL lovers here including myself!
Or, even make the FL bi since I crave explicitly bi leads who are proud of it!
Do I have characters? No, but maybe I can reuse my old novel’s characters and change them up a bit!
Now that I’ve written this definitively watch me never actually do it.
Here were the messages summarised:
FL to her love interest in a tense moment: “You are my life and I trust him with my life” (direct quote I copied from the message)
The main romances are she loves someone, but then falls out of love with them and falls for the other love interest. The one she’s always with, who understands the risks of her life because they experience everything together, the one she trusts her lover and life with. The one who later becomes her life!
My initial thoughts say mafia romance, lots of heartbreak and making both characters lovable in their own ways so people are torn between them! Idk about mafia romance though now, because as much as I love action and fight scenes (hand to hand, sword, gun, anything!), I’ve written exactly 0 fight scenes in my life (not including a Pokémon fight when I was like 10 which I struggled with lol). I also wrote about including spice, but realistically, as someone who doesn’t particularly care for sex and hasn’t had it, idk how I would make that work lol. Although, I do prefer an emotional build up in romances and real tension to sudden romance.
</End post>
Other stuff!
If you read this far, I love you and thanks for reading my idea which I’ll probably never write (and if I do, probably will forget about or get too busy to touch 😭)
Also I’m now excited for my entrance exam tomorrow - I’ve truly gone through all the emotions in three days - it’s for my dream uni and I’m not sure how well their system and Firefox may hold up. They said it only works on Firefox but knowing me the tech will hate me and we’ll have to call them up 👀
Night night, sleep tight everyone! It’s 8pm for me but I’m planning on sleeping early tonight for an early start tomorrow! However, I keep pushing the time back so if you see me online after 10pm London time feel free to scold me and kick me off ❤️ I’ll thank you for it lol
#idk what to tag this as#but hell yeah#this was inspired by how I was torn between the leads of Lightlark#and I wanted to read that shit somewhere else#anyways please feel free to suggest ideas and/or to write this if you like - please tell me bc I want to hear from people ❤️#nightnightsleeptight's scattered thoughts#nightnightsleeptight's miscellaneous#very soon I am going to change my tags to either nnst or nightnight bc why are they so long I can’t see what they are on desktop#I’m on mobile now but still#hehe I hope someone likes the idea and gets it 🤡😭❤️
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gentle fingers, gentler boy
carmen berzatto x fem!hairdresser!reader
gif by @hotch-girl
word count: 3,589
warnings: swearing, joking mentions of arson, one donna mention, i don’t think anything else??
synopsis: carmy needs a haircut—desperately. or so natalie tells him. she sends him to you, and it’s safe to say carmy never would’ve expected a trim would turn into the best date he’s ever had in his life.
a/n: hello, my loves! don’t even ask my why this fic has taken me so long to write because i couldn’t tell you. but i do imagine it has something to do with the fact that i have the attention span of a goldfish these days. anyhow, i wrote this as a kind of predecessor to this fic, because something about carmy and his hairdresser gf is so special to me. let me know what you think!! happy reading <33
————
“You really do need a haircut, Bear.”
Sugar leans up against the office door frame. Her younger brother is hunched over the desk, an Igor incarnate, flipping through a pile of papers Cicero left for him.
Richie’s voice booms throughout the kitchen. “I been tellin’ him that, Sug! It needs a wash, too. He’s startin’ to look like Jack…Jack…” He snaps his fingers, searching for a name. “The psycho asshole from The Shining!”
“Jack Torrence,” Marcus chirps.
“Jack Torrence!” Richie claps, making Sugar roll her eyes. She moves closer to Carmen, leaning against the corner of the desk. She crosses her arms.
“I told you, Carm, you can go see my girl. She’s never done me wrong.”
That small, gentle smile she has grows on her lips. Natalie gently pushes her brother’s shoulder. “And hey, she stopped me from getting bangs again a few weeks ago.”
Richie’s hands fly upward, pressing together in a prayer pose. “Thank fuck. Bangs were never your look, babe.”
“Shut up, Richie!” Sugar and Carmen’s voices ring out simultaneously, as if they’d rehearsed for this very moment of synchronization.
Carmy’s clogs drag against the tile floor as he braces his palms against the desktop and pushes himself backwards. He scrubs his face with his hands, leaving it tinged red when he finally relents.
He looks up at his sister, a firm wrinkle formed between her brows. Carmen huffs.
“What did you say her name was?” Carmy asks, eyes darting to the clock, searching for the time only to realize no one ever fixed the damn thing. “Hey, Richie! Can you get some fuckin’ batteries in here?”
Sugar’s eyes squeeze shut at the volume Carm’s voice has just reached. But nevertheless, she pinches her nose and says your name.
“She’s like, fifteen minutes down the road. She went to school for it, she respects shy people, and I promise–she’s not gonna cut your ear off.”
Richie rounds the corner at that exact moment, a pile of double A’s shoved in his pocket. He pulls the analog clock off the wall and pries open the back panel. “Oh, you mean like that time Mikey snipped the tip of his ear clean–”
“Oh my god, enough, Richard!” Sugar’s hands fly around in front of her face. Unfortunately it only encourages Richie further, laughing to himself as he snaps four batteries into place. He’s still laughing—clapping his hands together because he’s so tickled—when he walks back toward the front of the house.
Carmen’s fist covers his mouth. He’s tempted to laugh himself, but he at least knows better by now. Natalie sighs loud enough for the people across the street to hear.
“Look, Carm. I’ll even make the appointment for you if that would help, but it’s gotta happen. You look like shit.”
Carmy snorts, standing up from the wonky office chair. “Thanks, Nat.”
Sugar’s phone is already in her hand.
“So that’s a yes? What time would be best? Actually, I’ll just tell you when you’re going. Settled.”
————
“You getting off, Leigh?”
Your coworker ties her hair up in an artfully messy bun. “Yeah, babe. I took a half day because it’s date night tonight.” She wiggles her eyebrows at you, shimmying her way across the floor so she can plant a sweet kiss on your cheek.
“Your mom got the kids?” You ask, laughing to yourself as you rinse the leftover conditioner from your sink.
Leigh claps her hands. “All weekend, girl!”
You toss your gloves in the trash, letting her hug you and bounce up and down in glee. She deserves this. She hasn’t gotten a night out with her husband in months, their three-year-old twins keeping them more than occupied.
“I hope you have fun tonight. Drink something with Irish cream in it for me, will you?”
Leigh’s hands pat your cheeks gently. “Oh, you know I will. Just wish you were getting out there too.”
You wave her away, and she’s quick to hold up her hands in surrender. “Okay, okay. Is Natalie’s brother still coming in today?”
Your eyes dart to the clock over her head. “Should be here in like, five minutes.”
The doorbell chimes.
Both yours and Leigh’s heads snap in that direction.
“Or…now.”
“Oh, fucking Christ.”
Your eyes flick back to each other immediately, having spoken at the exact same time. Leigh is not gonna let your outburst go.
There’s already a devilish grin growing across her face. “You think he’s hot, don’t you?”
You dart around her. “No. Those words never left my mouth.”
She catches you by the belt loop. “You’re right, I believe your exact words were ‘Oh fucking Christ, he could bend me over right here.’” Leigh’s laughter bubbles up and you fear she might keel over.
“That is an exaggeration,” you huff.
Leigh slings her worn out, bright red purse over her shoulder. “Bet you were thinking it though.” She risks a glance over her shoulder. “You’re not wrong though. His arms are huge. And you better go help him before we get a bad Yelp review.”
You start to wave her away. “Yeah, alright.” You follow her towards the front desk. “Have fun tonight,” you shout, “and remember to make sure you have meds for tomorrow’s hangover.”
She fake gasps, pausing just beside where Carmen is standing. “Me? Hungover? Never.” Leigh lowers her sunglasses just slightly and directs her next few words at the man in front of her. “She’ll take real good care of you, youngest Berzatto.”
The doorbell chimes as Leigh makes her way out to her beat up Mustang, leaving you and Carmy alone out front.
He laughs awkwardly, shuffling towards the front counter to meet you.
“Sorry about her,” you say. “She’s full of it. Anyway, Carmen, right? Natalie told me you’d try and come by today.”
Carmy’s cheeks burn with embarrassment from being put on the spot. But also because you’re so…pretty. He manages to pull together a few coherent words.
“She really said try?” he asks, the barest of smiles gracing his lips.
You cross your arms and walk over to your station. “No. It was more of ‘He’ll be there at 4:30 tomorrow or else I’m going to burn down The Bear and keep the insurance money for myself.’”
Carmen scratches at his curls. “Yeah, that I believe.”
You gently pat the back of your leather chair. “You can sit whenever you’re ready. I realize I never really introduced myself.” You say your name, and even if it’s a name Carm has heard a hundred times before, it somehow sounds hypnotizing falling off your lips.
The leather backing is cold through Carmy’s t-shirt. He hopes the shiver that moves down his spine when you thread your fingers through his hair passes off as the coinciding goosebumps.
“So, what are we thinking today, Carmen?”
His big blue eyes blink at you through the mirror. “Carmy,” he says.
“Hm?” you hum, running a wide-toothed comb carefully through his curls so that nothing snags.
“You don’t have to call me Carmen. Makes me feel like I’m in trouble.” A low laugh tumbles over his lips. “Carmy is fine.”
You smile at him. “Okay, Carmy. What would you like me to do with your hair today? Buzz cut? Mohawk?” You walk around to face him head on. “Extensions?”
You notice how nervously he plays with his hands. But you get it. You’re hoping to make him as comfortable as you can, and not just for that good Google review.
Carmy runs a hand over his mouth, hiding the sweet smile that’s growing there. The crinkles by his eyes give it away. You’re so fucking charming he can’t stand it.
He clears his throat. “I was thinking just a trim? It’s kinda long over my eyes, and sometimes it’s good to see things.” You giggle.
Good god, how’s he gonna get through this?
“Maybe a little shorter on the sides, too.”
“Like a mullet?” You quip.
He snorts. “Nah, not a full mullet. Maybe where it’s barely noticeable that it’s shorter there? I’m also shit at taking care of it, so if you could help with that…”
You take your bottom lip between your teeth. Carmy has to clear his throat, feeling like a deer caught in headlights. “How ‘bout this. I’ll take you to the sink and give it a wash, and then we’ll trim it, and I can have you help me style it so it’s easier when you’re at home?”
Carmy nods. “Yeah, that’d be great, thank you.”
Your hand slides across the back of his shoulders as you move away and towards the back room full of head-sized basins. “Come on then, Mr. Berzatto. Let’s wash that pretty head of yours.”
————
“That feels so good,” Carmen says, the words leaving his mouth before he has a moment to think them over. “Wait—is that a weird thing to say?”
You laugh from your place behind him. “No, not at all. That’s why I keep my nails a little longer, because my clients always tell me this is the best part.” Your hands are covered in a lavender-scented shampoo, your fingertips massaging the foam into his scalp. “A good head scratch does wonders for the soul.”
You watch Carmy’s lips lift at the corners. His eyes are closed, and you wouldn’t be surprised if he dozed off. You’re always happy to keep a conversation going with clients, but the silence is just as well.
The sounds of foils getting folded in place by your coworker out front, the air conditioner, the radio—it’s all oddly soothing. The radio station Leigh always sets it on has the oddest selection of music choices for one given channel. Not that you mind that either.
You rinse Carmen’s hair out and apply conditioner to the mids and ends of his curls. You blindly grab a comb, muscle memory putting it in your grasp in seconds.
Carmy swears he’s gonna knock out. He’s trying about as hard as he did in school when he knew he should be paying attention to whatever math lesson but couldn’t keep his eyes open. And when your words reach his ears, he thinks you’ve just read his mind. Sensed the sleep pricking at his eyelids.
“You do have really nice hair, Carmy. Anyone else in your family have curls?”
You watch the way his brows knit together. “I think my mom? You’d never know it though. She’s straightened it every day since I was a teenager, like even when we weren’t leaving the house.”
You focus on your final rinse of his hair, allowing him to continue. “When I was a kid though, if she showered before bed and I needed her, her hair would be all wet and curly. That’s the only time I saw it like that.”
Carmy sits up when you wrap a thin towel around his head, holding it secure as he follows you back to your station.
“Leigh, the woman leaving when you came in? She has lots of clients like that. A lot of people weren’t taught how to take care of their curly hair.”
“Is that a hint?” Carmen quips. It makes you snort.
“Just a gentle one.”
Carmy watches while you cut his hair. Every once in a while your tongue will poke out, or you’ll wiggle your hips to a song on the radio. When you’re almost finished, what Carmen thinks is a Madonna song comes on.
You start humming, and Carmy knows he’s done for. Richie would call him whipped. He probably will tomorrow morning, just by reading Carm’s face.
“Out of the sky, I close my eyes…heaven help me.”
Carmy lets out a little laugh because you’re doing this little dance as you sift through his curls. You hear it, and it only encourages you more.
“Big Madonna fan?” he asks, his hand rubbing over his mouth to hide the boyish grin there. The tattoo on his hand catches your eye.
“She’s good for the soul.”
You crouch in front of him, rummaging through a cabinet for he doesn’t know what. “Your tattoos are pretty, by the way,” you say. It takes him by surprise.
“Oh. Thanks.”
You emerge with two bottles. “Do people not usually compliment them?” You spray his hair down with cool water, getting it to the stage of damp you need for the products to work.
Carmy laughs lowly. Maybe with a little hint of embarrassment. “Nah, they usually ask me what the hell they are or if I was drunk when I got ‘em.”
“Were you?”
He meets your playful gaze. “Only for a few.” Your smile is downright gleeful.
“M’kay, Carm. Let me give you the rundown.” He straightens and you get a glimpse of the chef he left at The Bear to visit you today. “So this is a leave-in conditioner. After you shower, you put just a little of this in your hands—like this—and kinda run it through your hair all over. Just so it’s in there well.”
You demonstrate, and for the first time, Carmy finally understands how people can look at him and question his ability to cook so seamlessly. That’s the way you do hair. Like it’s as easy as breathing for you.
“And this is a gel. It’s super lightweight, so it won’t feel gross or anything, and it’s not expensive either. You wanna use a little more of this, but not by much. You can do the same sort of thing, because your hair takes shape really easily since it’s not damaged any. And once that’s distributed, I want you to scrunch it some, just to get any excess product, but also to help any curls that need encouragement.”
You bite your lip because Carmy is nodding along, giving you his complete attention and it’s fucking adorable.
“And if there’s any curls by your face or anything, you can use your fingers to define them so they look how you want. You think you can do all that?”
Carmy laughs. “Not a chance.” Then you’re both laughing, and it feels so comfortable anyone would think you’d known each other for years.
“It takes practice. I’m gonna give you these to take home and use.” Your hand disappears in your back pocket for just a moment. “But if you want to put your number in my phone, I can always send you instructions if you need help…”
Carmy pauses. Freezes, even. You look at him nervously, afraid that maybe your ability to read the room has evaporated. Luckily, he proves you wrong.
“Wow. That was smooth.”
You exhale and laugh into the back of your hand. “I’m never that smooth, I don’t know how I managed that,” you chuckle. Carmy’s fingers fly over your keyboard.
“Thank you for today, really. I usually avoid the hairdresser at all costs.”
“Sugar did tell me that,” you grin.
“M-maybe I could make you dinner or something, for putting up with me…?”
Your face warms. “I’d like that, yeah.”
Carmy blinks. His phone goes off where you’ve shot him a text with just your name and a smiley face. “Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
He rubs his hands together. “Okay, cool. Alright, yeah. What do you like?”
“I wouldn’t say no to pasta. Pasta is good in all forms.”
————
“You can tell me if you hate it. I won’t be offended.”
“I think you might have a nervous breakdown though, and you’re too pretty for that.”
Carmy blushes, shaking his head at you.
“What?” you laugh. “It’s true.” Your voice has a sing-song lilt to it. Over the past few weeks you’ve gotten to know Carmy a bit better. He’s been busy though, so it’s taken longer than expected to have dinner together.
He made up for it by providing you with pasta and cheesecake for dessert. He’s wearing this thick sweater, your eyes locking on his forearms where he’s rolled up the sleeves.
Sugar was so excited when you texted her after his hair appointment.
Natalie B: How’d it go? Was he a total pain in the ass?
You: it went well! got him all sorted out. he offered me dinner as a thank you (after he paid, of course). would that weird you out??
Natalie B: OMG NO!! He’s got such a giant stick up his ass, maybe your charm pulled it out! Go have fun. Leigh was telling me you hadn’t been on a date in forever last time I was in anyhow.
You: brb blocking both of you shitheads ♥️
You hadn’t expected a haircut to lead to any of this, but sitting here, in Carmy’s sparsely furnished apartment, looking at the soft smile on his face and the nervous way he’s fussing with his fingers as you eat the dinner he made you, you’re grateful.
Not that you’ll tell Natalie that. Or Leigh. They don’t need that ego boost.
You wipe your mouth on a napkin and look up to see that Carmy is gazing at you expectantly. You laugh, his eye contact making you a little nervous.
“It’s good, Carm. Really good. You can eat.”
He swipes his hand down his face, but when it comes down to grab his fork, he lets you see his smile. “I’m glad you like it. Not too much parsley or anything? I didn’t add lemon because Sugar mentioned you saying you didn’t like pasta with too much lemon juice in it.”
Your mouth drops open. That’s such a small, easy to forget thing. Maybe you will have to give Nat a hug.
You reach out to touch his hand. Tentatively, just in case it’s too far. “That’s so sweet, Carmy. It’s perfect, really. And honestly the lemon thing is from one very overpowering pasta experience. Maybe whatever you make me will be better.”
Carmen takes a big bite of pasta and a swig of beer so he has time to collect himself. “Maybe we can fix your lemon-related trauma.”
“As long as there’s a backup snack in case the lemon PTSD can’t be fixed.”
You both burst into a fit of giggles. The rest of dinner goes by, filled with conversation about everything and nothing—Carmy’s lack of knowledge about current television, your love of reading and need for someone to share the plots with.
Carmen is making you a plate to take home with you when he’s finally psyched himself up to ask his question. He says your name and you peer at him from your spot against the counter.
“I-uh…I’ve been trying to do my hair the way you taught me, but I can’t get it right. I was wonderin’ if you’d show me? Maybe? You don’t have to—”
“Of course I can. All you had to do was ask.” You push off the counter and beam at him. “Come on, I’ll help you.”
You’re lucky you already learned the way to his bathroom so that your streak of confidence would continue working so well. And when you squeeze out some of the hair gel into Carmy’s hands, you know he just needed an excuse. He’s got it down pat.
He runs his hands through his hair, scrunching clumps together every now and then, finger-curling the pieces up front and by his ears. Now you’re just waiting to see what he really wanted to say.
You cross your arms, attempting to look serious, but you can’t hold back the grin spreading across your face.
Carmen looks over at you, drying his hands now that they’re free of product. He’s never been great at reading people, but that look in your eye tells him he’s a shit actor.
“So, that didn’t fool you, huh?”
You giggle. “Not at all, Berzatto. You couldn’t even fake how well you’ve learned to do your hair.”
Carmy takes a step closer to you, rubbing his nose self-consciously. “I’m very bad at saying what I’m thinking. Or saying what I want.”
“I can see that.”
He squints at you, his lips ticking up just slightly.
“So what is it you want but are too scared to say?” you start. “Do we need to play hangman?”
That would normally get a laugh out of him, but he’s too on edge. Inhale. Exhale. Oh, just fucking say it, Carm.
“I wanna kiss you.”
Your ears burn. You release your bottom lip from where it was pinned between your teeth. “I was hoping you’d say that. Please do.”
You push up on your tiptoes, suddenly bursting with excitement and hoping that’ll convey to Carmen that he doesn’t need to be nervous because you want this just as bad.
It works.
You put your hands on Carmy’s collarbones the second his fingers slip into your hair. Your nervous system lights on fire, thoughts of how much surface area his palms cover racing through your mind. He kisses you all shy and hesitant at first, like he’s nervous he won’t do what you’re hoping.
His lips are warm, and you can feel the spots where he’s chewed them raw. You can’t help but think that kissing him might be a good way to break that habit. His nose presses into your cheek, tickling you and making you giggle.
Carmen pulls away, smiling at you. “What’s so funny?”
“Your nose was tickilin’ my cheek.”
“Oh? Like this?” He starts dragging his nose across your face and then down to your neck when he feels you start to laugh harder. He thinks he’s finally cracked the code. It seems like pasta and nose tickles are the proper way into your heart.
————
note: none of the gifs or images i use are mine! i get most of my images from pinterest or here, and gifs from about the same. please let me know if i ever don’t credit someone properly!
rb banner from @steph-speaks
#savannah’s fics#carmen berzatto#carmy berzatto x reader#carmy berzatto#carmy berzatto x you#carmy berzatto x fem!reader#carmy berzatto x female reader#carmy berzatto x y/n#carmen berzatto x reader#carmen berzatto x you#carmen berzatto x female reader#carmen berzatto x fem!reader#carmy berzatto fluff#carmy berzatto fanfiction#carmy berzatto fic#carmen berzatto fic#carmen berzatto fluff#carmy x reader#carmy x you#carmy berzatto imagine#carmy the bear#carmy berzatto one shot
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If KOSA passes
Or if any other form of censorship (there are many in the works!) ever succeeds at stepping in to impede our ability to communicate online:
We have to make plans.
Now, I dunno who'll even see this post. The few followers I have are TRON fans (who despite the fantasy we live in, tend to have realistically dismal views IRL about Disney and the various corporate uses of software).
And this fandom, on average, is pretty tech-savvy. It's where I've encountered the most people under 20 years old who actually know how to use a desktop or laptop computer.
So, if there's any hope for what I'm thinking about, this is prolly a good place to start with it.
(As with all my posts, I encourage reblogging and containment-breaching.)
(Gifs are clips from TRON 1982, mainly the "deleted love scene," from the DVD extras.)
Anyway.
Current society has moved online communication much too far onto major social media sites for my comfort. Whoever you communicate with over the internet, chances are you do it through a service owned by a big company: Tumblr, Twitter, Discord, Telegram, Facebook, whatever. Even TikTok (shudder).
These sites, despite their many flaws, can provide experiences that are valuable and hard to get otherwise. And once all your friends are on one site, you can't just leave and stay in touch with them all, not unless they all go the same place. It's easy to see why it's hard to abandon any social media platform.
But a backup plan is important. Because, as we've seen over and over, social media sites can't be relied on. They change their policies suddenly, without good reason-- and are inconsistent, even discriminatory, about enforcing those policies.
If they're funded by ads, the advertisers are their main customers, and your posts are the product. Their goal is that the posts most valuable to the advertisers get seen by people the advertisers consider desirable customers.
Helping you communicate-- making your posts get seen by the people you want to communicate with-- is optional to them.
Not to mention that the whole business model of an ad-funded website is generally unsustainable. Many of these sites are operating at a loss, relying on shareholders in a fragile bubble, doomed to fail soon just from lack of real profit.
And the more restrictions --like KOSA-- that the law puts on freedom of online speech, the likelier they are to go down or just become unusable. Every rule a site is required to follow is another strain on its resources, and most of them are already failing badly at even enforcing their own self-imposed rules.
If we want any control over our continued ability to stay in touch with our online friends-- we need to have a backup plan. Maybe it'll be simple at first, a bare-bones system we cobble together-- but it's gotta be something that will work. For a while at least.
There are lots of really good posts about ways to build your own website, using a service like Neocities. I VERY MUCH recommend learning this skill-- learning to make websites of the very simplest, most stable, glitch-resistant type, made of html pages-- which you can upload to a host while you store backups on your home computer. If you value the writing and art that you put online, this is probably the safest you can keep it.
But that's for making your own creative work public.
As for communicating with others-- for example, receiving and answering other people's comments on your work-- that gets more complex. I personally haven't found it worthwhile to troubleshoot the problems that come with having a system that allows visitors to comment publicly on my website.
But what we do still have-- and likely will for a long time-- is email.
Those of us who came of age before social media's current hold... well, we might take this for granted. Email was the first form of online contact we ever encountered… and thus it can seem to us like the most ordinary, the most boring.
But in the current world, it is a rare and precious thing to find a method of communicating that doesn't require everyone in the chat to be signed on with the same corporation.
Email is, as of now, still perfectly legal-- as much as social media companies have been trying to herd the populace away from it. I'm sure there are other ways to share thoughts online that are not bound by laws. But I am not going to go into that here.
Email service is provided by law-abiding companies, which will comply with subpoenas if law enforcement thinks you are emailing about doing illegal things. So, email is not a surefire way to be safe, if laws become dystopian enough to threaten your freedom to talk about your own life and identity.
But it's safer than posting on a public social media page.
For now.
Email is beautifully decentralized. You can get an email address many different ways-- some reliant on a company like Gmail, others hosted on your own domain. And different people, with all different types of email addresses, hosted in all different ways-- can all communicate together by the same method.
Of course any of these people, individually, can lose their email address for some reason or other, and have to get a new one. But as long as they still know the email addresses of their contacts, they can reconnect and recover from that loss. The structure of a group linked by email is reliant not on a single company-- but on the group itself, the friends you can actually count on.
This is why I am trying to promote the idea of forming email lists, as a backup plan to give people a way to stay in touch as mainstream social media sites prove to be unsustainable.
I'm envisioning a simple system of sending emails to several addresses at once, and making each reply visible to everyone in the chat by using "reply all" (or, if desired, editing the To field to reply to only some).
If enough people get used to using email in this way, it could fill most of the needs met by any other group chat or forum …without depending on a centralized social media company that's taking dystopian measures to try and make the business profitable.
So here are some thoughts about how I personally imagine it could work.
(Feel free to comment and bring up any thoughts I haven't addressed, or suggestions to customize how specific groups could set it up. This is meant as more of a starting point for brainstorming than a catch-all solution.)
As I see it, here are the basics of what you and your friends would each need to start out:
An email address. Any kind, hosted anywhere. You should use a dedicated email account just for this group, one that you do NOT use for other communication. Being in this group will result in things you don't want happening to your main email address-- like getting a TON of email, one for every post and reply. Or someone could get your email address that you really don't want any contact with. Use a burner email account (one that you can easily replace) and change it if needed.
The knowledge of how to "REPLY ALL" in your email. This will be necessary in order to add a comment that everyone in the group can see.
The knowledge of how to EDIT THE "TO" FIELD in your email, and remove addresses from the list of all recipients. This will be necessary if you want to CHANGE WHICH PEOPLE in the group can see your comment.
The knowledge of how to FILTER WORDS in your email. This will be necessary if a topic comes up that you don't want to see any mentions of.
The knowledge of how to BLOCK PEOPLE in your email. This will be very important. If someone joins this email group who you do not want to interact with, it will be up to you to BLOCK them so that you do NOT see their messages. (If they are bad enough to evade the block with multiple burner accounts, that's what you have a burner account for. Change it, and share the new one only with those you trust not to give it to them.)
Every person in the group will be effectively a "moderator" of the group, able to remove people from it by cutting their email addresses out of the "To" field. Members will all have equal "moderator" privileges, each able to tailor the group to their own needs.
This means the group may naturally split, over time, into other groups, each one removing some people and adding others. Some will overlap, some won't. This is good! This is, in my opinion, what online interaction SHOULD be like! There should be MANY groups like this!
In this way, we can keep online discussion alive, no matter WHAT happens to any of the social media websites.
If the dystopia got bad enough to shut down email, we could even continue with postal mail and photocopies, like they did in the days of print-zine fanfiction.
If it looks like the dystopia is gonna come for postal mail too, we'll use the connection we have to preserve whatever contacts we can with people who live near us.
Not saying it's GONNA get that bad. But these steps of preparation are good no matter exactly what kind of bad stuff happens.
As long as some organized form of communication still exists, we'll have a place where it's at least a little safer to be your true self…
to plan events and meetups…
and maybe even activities a little too risque to make the final cut of a 1982 Disney movie.
They're trying to censor us. We want a Free System. So we're gonna fight back.
For the Users. Not the corporations.
Peace out, programs. <3
#tron#tronblr#tron 1982#userworldproblems#diy punk#censorship#kosa#internet literacy#email#solutions
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Please, please explain how to install and use linux like I'm 5 years old. I'm so sick of windows adding AI and other bullshit to my already struggling elderly laptop but I'm really not good with computers at all so I have no idea where to start with Linux.
Okay, so, I'm going to break this down into steps I would give the average tumblr user first, and then if any of them are confusing or use words you don't understand, ask me and I'll explain that step in greater detail.
Step 0) BACK. UP. YOUR. SHIT.
NEVER EVER EVER CHANGE YOUR OPERATING SYSTEM WITHOUT A COMPLETE BACKUP OF ALL YOUR FILES.
Step 1) Learn your machine. You need to know:
How much RAM you have
If your processor is 32 or 64 bit
How big your hard drive is
On windows, you can find out all of this by going to the start menu, typing "about" and opening the first result on your system instead of the internet.
For additional instructions, visit this page.
Step 2) Pick your Linux.
There's like 10,000 kinds of Linux, each tailored to particular functions that the end-user (that is you!) might want to have. The sheer amount is very daunting, so first I'm going to give my suggestions, then I'll explain how to pick for yourself.
For Mac users, I suggest Kubuntu. For windows users, I suggest Mint Cinnamon. If your laptop is really REALLY old, I recommend Sparky Stable, which is the lightest weight Linux I would ever suggest for a new user. In every case, download the version suited to your processor (32 bit can be labelled "x86" or "32 bit"; 64 bit is always labelled "64 bit").
If you want to try a different type of linux, you'll need to make sure your laptop meets the "minimum specs" or "system requirements." These numbers tell you how much RAM, processor and hard drive space the linux will use. (That's why you needed those numbers at the beginning.)
Step 3) Collect your supplies. You're going to need:
An ISO burning program compatible with your current system, like Balena Etcher.
A copy of the ISO file for the Linux you want to use.
Your laptop.
An 8gb or larger USB flash drive.
Step 3) Make a bootable USB drive
Install Balena Etcher, hitting "okay" and "next" when prompted. Last I checked, Etcher doesn't have adware attached, so you can just hit next every time.
Plug your USB drive into the laptop.
Open Etcher.
Click "flash from file" and open the ISO file with your Linux on it.
Click "Select target" and open the USB drive location. Hit the "flash" button. This will start writing all the linux installer data to your flash drive. Depending on the speed of your machine, this could take as long as 10 minutes, but shouldn't be much longer.
Step 4) Boot to the USB drive
This is, in my opinion, the trickiest step for a lot of people who don't do "computer stuff." Fortunately, in a rare act of good will, Windows 10 made this process a lot easier.
All you'll need to do is go to settings, then recovery, then advanced startup and pick the button labelled "use a device."
This tutorial has images showing where each of those is located. It's considered an "advanced setting" so you may get a spooky popup warning you that you could "harm your system by making changes" but we're not doing anything potentially harmful so you can ignore that if you get it.
Step 5) Try out linux on the flash drive first.
Linux installs using a cool little test version of itself that you can play around in. You won't be able to make changes or save settings, but you can explore a bit and see if the interface is to your liking. If it's hideous or hard to navigate, simply pick a new linux version to download, and repeat the "make a bootable USB" step for it.
Step 6) Actually install that sucker
This step varies from version to version, but the first part should be the same across the board: on the desktop, there should be a shortcut that says something like "install now." Double click it.
Follow the instructions your specific linux version gives you. When in doubt, pick the default, with one exception:
If it asks you to encrypt your drive say no. That's a more advanced feature that can really fuck your shit up down the road if you don't know how to handle it.
At some point you're going to get a scary looking warning that says 1 of 2 things. Either:
Install Linux alongside Windows, or
Format harddrive to delete all data
That first option will let you do what is called "dual booting." From then on, your computer will ask every time you turn it on whether you want Windows or Linux.
The second option will nuke Windows from orbit, leaving only linux behind.
The install process is slower the larger your chosen version is, but I've never seen it take more than half an hour. During that time, most linux versions will have a little slideshow of the features and layout of common settings that you can read or ignore as you prefer.
Step 7) Boot to your sexy new Linux device.
If you're dual booting, use the arrow keys and enter key to select your linux version from the new boot menu, called GRUB.
If you've only got linux, turn the computer on as normal and linux will boot up immediately.
Bonus Step: Copy Pasting some code
In your new start menu, look for an application called "terminal" or "terminal emulator." Open that up, and you will be presented with an intense looking (but actually very harmless) text command area.
Now, open up your web browser (firefox comes pre-installed on most!), and search the phrase "what to do after installing [linux version you picked]"
You're looking for a website called "It's FOSS." Here's a link to their page on Mint. This site has lots and lots of snippets of little text commands you can experiment with to learn how that functionality works!
Or, if you don't want to fuck with the terminal at all (fair enough!) then instead of "terminal" look for something called "software manager."
This is sort of like an app store for linux; you can install all kinds of programs directly from there without needing to go to the website of the program itself!
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⭒ the girl with the tattoo (i)
grumpy!matt sturniolo x sunshine!fem oc / reader
summary : matt is a grumpy tattoo artist and y/n books him for her first tattoo.
warnings : needles and pain (not very detailed tho)
mickey speaks : i don't have any tattoos so i actually know nothing ab the procedure lmaooo just guessing but i’ll be writing multiple parts for this. also i am very much self indulging bc i headcannon y/n as poc! but obvi anyone can read there's not much exclusivity ab how i write her, i js wanted to note that for any poc readers <3.
THIS IS PART 1 BTW!!!!
“SHITTT,” you draw out the last syllable at the rumble and screech of your car engine as you continue your attempt to start it.
eventually you throw your head backwards in defeat, annoyed by the unbudging car. this is the actual worst timing. you're supposed to be at the tattoo shop (that is a 12 minute drive from your apartment complex) for an appointment in less than twenty minutes.
you truly want to scream and border on throwing a tantrum but decide it would probably be better to find a solution than complain about the agony further.
you quickly find your roommate's contact, raising your phone to your ear and pinching your eyes shut as the vibrating ring hums through your skull.
"y/n? what's up?" andrea answers confused as you had only just walked out of the door five minutes ago.
"hi drea... so i know you have your own plans right now but is there any way you can give me a ride... please?"
you hear shuffling on the line, "mmm, where to?"
౨ৎ
“thank you again for driving me,” you smile at andrea and squeeze her hand before reaching for the door.
“yes, of course. you can call me when you’re done and i’ll head over here- m’sorry i can’t stay with you.” she replies and exaggerates a frown.
"i'll be fine, i think- i hope..."
"you will be fine. just don't stress or it'll hurt more."
౨ৎ
your arms are crossed tightly over your chest as you make your way into the shop (in its form of an oversized warehouse, fixed up to look stylish and comfortable- something you’d never really seen before). the rickety jingle of a small bell kindly indicates your presence to the rest of the shop.
a few people sitting in a waiting area look up before continuing their conversations (though some continued to stare as you walk by). you see a surprising amount of people crowding in a brightly decorated lounge area, housing many arcade games and a kitchenette.
you reach the receptionist desk and are greeted by a young man dressed casually, humming along to the music playing in the background of the space.
“um, hi. i’m here for my 1:30 appointment.” you state with a smile, you’re suddenly aware of how nervous you truly are.
the brunette looks over to a desktop screen with a soft scrunch of his face, “for y/n, right? huh, that’s crazy…” he rubs his chin, “1:30 was like nine minutes ago,” he looks up at you, almost like he was questioning you; who do you think you are? and why do you think you’re important enough to be late?
as soon as your face begins to morph into fear and embarrassment his own face splits into a large smile as he laughs softly. “i’m sorry- i’m such an ass but i had to- your file said you’re new clientele so i just had to fuck around.”
“you’re sick! i was fully prepared for a fucking lecture on timeliness or something,” you let out a soft laugh.
the boy comes from around the desk holding a paper and clipboard. “yeah, sorry, i’m chris,” he reaches a hand out to which you willingly return and restate your name to him, “‘m not usually up front so you probably talked to asha over the phone when booking.”
you nod and smile at the familiar name, “yeah, she was so helpful over the phone.”
“she’s awesome, i miss her,” he touches each of his shoulders then forehead before kissing his hand and pointing to the sky.
"oh my god? i'm sorry for your loss."
his eyes squint and lips pucker in confusion, "oh, she's not fired she's just on vacation right now."
"so why'd you...?"
chris cuts you off by handing you the clipboard and grabbing a pen from a cluttered mason jar on the desk as he explains, “okay, we’re just gonna have you fill out this quick consultation form; just so you and your artist will be on the same page about things.” you nod in understanding. “keep it brief, matt’s not big on reading large bodies of text,” chris laughs.
“got it,” you smile before turning to find a chair and begin writing. you truly were relieved that chris wasn’t hard on you about being late, for a second you thought you would be lectured and have to carry the guilt of dissapointing someone into a room where you'd be paying to lie in excruciating physical pain. (damn, double homecide)
the sheet had general information to fill before the questions specifically about the tattoo you’d be getting today came.
you go back up to chris once you’re finished.
“cool, follow me we’ll set you up with matt.” he leads the way and your nerves are suddenly back as it's feeling more and more real with each step. you pacify your thoughts by looking around at the many images and messages written in sharpie along the walls of the hallway. there's also plenty of hanging shelves around with vintage trinkets and succulents that compliment the space around.
chris reaches a curtain and dips his head past as if he were checking for something before giving you a chance to see. you notice the small "Matt" embroidered on the black curtain. chris then opens it wide enough for the both of you to walk into the surprisingly large space.
(who you can only assume to be) matt sits comfortably in a wheeled desk chair, legs spread. his elbow rests on the arm of the chair and he holds his head up with two of his fingers, as his middle finger grazes his irritated mouth with a stern look on his face while he scrolls on his phone.
he doesn’t move his position when he looks up at the two of you.
“alright! matt this is y/n,” chris motions between you two. matt hums, placing his phone on the desk and placing his hand out expectantly for the clipboard. chris goes to hand it to him and whispers, “fix your face, jackass,” then turning around to leave you some reassuring words, “good luck y/n, the tat’s gonna look amazing.”
but chris doesn’t see matt exaggerating a large, sarcastic smile from behind him in defense of chris’ words (he immediately drops it though). something that would make you at least giggle if you weren’t so nervous.
“thanks,” your voice is a little hoarse as you haven’t used it in some time. matt watches the boy leave before looking over to you. he rolls the chair closer, reading over your short (as requested) responses.
“you can sit down.” he forms it almost as a question like are you going to sit down or do i have to direct you to do everything?
you sit on the black cushioned bench, lined with a disposable white cloth and begin to fidget with your fingernails as matt goes over your paperwork quietly.
“''kay, so you’re getting a small hello kitty on your lower hip?” he summarizes while checking and signing a few lines on a paper.
“yeah, um, i told asha over the phone that way you could have it sketched already- she told me that’s best and saves time for the both of us.”
his response is a slowed nod and a breathy, “yep,” as he rolls over to his desk and places the clipboard on the surface before opening a drawer and digging through it.
you gaze around the room and wonder if he decorated the space himself or if he wasn’t the type to be bothered enough to add personal things to his work area. almost all the posters are of music artists or tattoos, the most personal things you see are a small picture frame on his desk and a pokémon plushie sat on a chair in the corner of the room. all of which just pose more questions in your working brain.
you notice him switching to a different swivel chair that is lower to the ground and bringing himself (as well as a moving table with already prepared supplies) closer to you.
you’re nervous again. even after your roommate and older brother have both given you advice on first tattoos and the pain expected you’re still finding yourself scared of what to expect. your ear piercings would have nothing on this.
“first tattoo?” matt clarifies, as if he could read your mind. you nod and go to speak but stop when he gestures for you to lay back on the cushion.
you’re sure that he only was searching for a quick confirmation from you and is not too interested in your life or what brings you here but you’ve found that talking relieves your own stress and you absolutely cannot just lay there and only speak when spoken to.
“yeah, i guess m’nervous. i just hope i don’t, like, die from pain or hate the outcome or curse myself in a couple years for the placement- but it's not that i'm doubting that it'd be cute. younger me would be screaming at the fact that i'm even here..." you pause just for a second. "but then again i'm not sure how much forty year old me will appreciate it. so i guess i just don’t know. you know?”
you lean yourself up to get a look at matt, only to realize he has airpods in and simply has not been listening or interested in you (just as you expected). he’s moving his head the smallest amount to the beat as he works on his sketch.
he notices your movement though and takes a headphone out of his ear, “are you okay?” is all he asks.
a pretty broad question. and an anxiety inducing question to ask a girl who's been questioning her decisions as much as you have. you hope you’re okay. will you still be okay when this (mostly) permanent decision is etched into your skin forever? is he okay? will he give you any sense of encouragement or comfort during this process? are tattoo artists typically like this or are you just considered especially needy clientele?
“yeah, i just was- like, curious, i guess.” you mumble a little and internally hate that you feel so insecure in this situation. so out of control.
“was just adjusting my sketch to be a smaller. nothing crazy happening over here.” he shrugs. “you can go ahead and pull your shirt up, though. i’m just gonna clean the area and prep before inking.” he explains to you very straight and to the point.
you fall back into place and obey, inching your shirt up further to expose your lower stomach. you drape your arms over your face to gain composure as you hear matt rip some packaging.
the coolness of the cleaning pad sends your stomach butterflies and you try to not think too hard about the fact that matt’s hands will be on your lower stomach and hip for a good length of time.
eventually matt speaks to you again, “i’m starting so if you’re feeling the need to get the fuck out you gotta do it now or for forever hold your peace.”
you smile a little at his dry joke but when you turn your head to see him fully serious you blink, “no, i’ll be fine. thanks though.”
he just nods his head and goes to put his airpods back in before you’re interrupting again, “wait. whatcha listening to?”
he’s suprised by the question. his clients rarely get too involved in what he’s doing. mostly because he does a great fucking job no matter how few words he may utter over an entire session. there's a mutual understanding there that he's never had to speak up about to anyone. other artists use a strong bond or charisma to secure returning customers but matt finds there’s nothing better to display than his pure talent and passion for his craft. that’s how he keeps clients. they ask and he will always deliver; and that’s how he particularly likes it. no questions and minimal conversation.
the sound of the tattoo gun begins and just for your sake he decides to answer the question without malice, “just some frank ocean instrumental tracks." he places his hands back onto your skin, "don’t start moving.”
you pinch your eyes shut and squeeze your forearms as soon as the initial pain takes over. it’s a feeling you can only describe as a needle poking into you a trillion times at once. which is literally what's happening to you.
you’re not oblivious to matt’s disengagement with your attempts at conversation but you need him to continue to speak to you or else you’ll think too much about the needle actively puncturing you. “oh yeah? i’ve never listened to him before…”
“surprising. he’s pretty big.” matt mumbles slightly, focusing on his work far more than his slight interest in your knowledge of frank ocean.
“mhm. i’ve been meaning to give him a listen. could you share?”
matt’s eyes just move to look up at your face as he tries not to beg you to just be quiet and let him do this so that you both can leave within an hour. “i’m good on that.” he returns to tattooing.
“huh? you can’t share music?”
“i would prefer not to but-” he doesn’t even know why he’s continuing to fuel this anymore.
“what if i add a pretty,” you pause to wince a little as the needle moves lower, “pretty please?”
“i’m almost done,” he mumbles the lie.
“matt?”
he pauses for only a second to glance over to you. he’s met with a face scrunched in pain with an attempted smile that he thinks makes you look more like a doped up hippie than the cute effect you were going for. you plead after his glance, “pretty please?”
he rolls his eyes and sets his tattoo gun down, reluctantly swiveling over to his desk. before you even realize what exactly he’s doing there’s a airy beat of drums and piano playing from a small speaker in the room.
once he's back over to you he can tell you’re smiling even though your face is mostly covered by your arms. “thank you, i needed a distraction or something.”
he mumbles an “mhm” and returns to his work.
౨ৎ
there was generally no talking after that. only a few moments you observed (due to your need to cling on to literally anything going on besides the pinching at your lower side) that were any indication of matt's quiet presence. you noticed when matt would softly hum the lyrics to the instrumentals over the speaker and when you began to tap your fingers out of boredom and nerves, to which he simply placed his hand over them to force them flat while muttering a small “stop.”
when matt was completely finished he asked you if he could take a picture to add to his instagram and you agreed eagerly. he then added a strip of tattoo film over a layer of protective ointment. after he helped you to fully stand he explained how to care for it and how important cleaning is because “that shit will get gunky as fuck.” and you told him that you promise to do everything he said. he also gave you a detailed list on a card for you to follow just in case you forget.
you glance down at your tattoo one last time before you begin to leave the room you’d just spent a lengthy hour of your life in. you assume matt doesn’t want much else from you until he calls your name from his desk. you turn and see him still looking at his phone before glancing up, “uh, what’s your insta handle, so i can tag you in this?”
you don’t know why you’re surprised but you are.
you agree to exchange handles with him before deciding to compliment him once more, “my tattoo is perfect, by the way. i love it so much, thank you.” you want to tell him that you hope you didn’t annoy him too much but you don’t know if that will annoy him more. so you take his nod and hint of a smile as his way of showing appreciation, keeping your own smile bright to mask the crushing feeling of someone seeming so indifferent towards you.
after walking past the curtain and through the trinket-filled hallway you’re back to the main area of the warehouse. you see a different collection of people gathered playing pool and some more huddled on a couch looking at a girl’s phone in awe. chris is busy talking with what seems to be a close friend when you walk up to the reception desk.
when his eyes find your bright expression he’s bouncing back with energy, “hey! i’m assuming it went well?" he asks.
"very well. glad it's over though, i can't lie." you laugh while taking your debit card from your purse.
"yeah, definitely not the best feeling. especially when matt's ugly face is that close to you." chris jokes and takes your card to cash you out.
you laugh along with him but assure him that matt's looks weren't an issue. he raises his eyebrows and has a growing smirk that travels to his eyes when he gives you your card back. you try not the blush at the implication, "i didn't mean it like that."
"right," he nods and chuckles softly, "well hopefully you'll be back for another eventually?" he hands you a receipt.
"i mean how could i not with such a sweet receptionist asking me? i'm sure you get everyone to come back," you joke.
chris shrugs with a cocky grin, "somethin' like that."
౨ৎ
"oh my god it's fucking adorable, what?!" andrea exclaims with a spoonful of frozen yogurt still in her mouth.
she initally begged to see it as soon as she picked you up but you dramatically told her you had just experienced the worst pain of your life and you'd need a sweet treat if you were planning to not sleep the rest of the day away. so she just rolled her eyes and demanded you show her once you both arrive at your favorite frozen yogurt shop (conveniently down the street from your apartment complex).
"i knowww," you respond and quickly pull the lower part of your shirt down with a smile, taking a seat across from drea.
"how'd it go, though? i'm curious. i've only been to warehouse 79 like once, and it was for an event."
"it was good, they were all generally kind and my guy did exactly what i wanted. i'm pretty happy."
"'my guy,' oh okayy?" she takes a bite and smirks.
"not what i meant! i should have just said matt. like, the guy who did my tattoo-"
"mhmm."
"stop.” you smirk, “i mean he was not ugly by any means but he seemed to not care to get to know me at all. which is fine, he's not paid to care about me. but i doubt i'll ever see him again." you shrug taking another bite of frozen yogurt.
꩜⋆ ˚。⋆🎱˚
#this took way too long#sturniolo triplets#sturniolo triplets fan fiction#sturniolo triplets smut#matthew sturniolo#matt sturniolo#matt sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo x you#matt sturniolo smut#chris sturniolo x you#chris sturniolo fanfic#matt sturniolo fanfic#nick sturniolo#nicolas sturniolo#tattoo matt n yn
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Hey guys, I've been thinking about making this post for a long time and I think its finally time I do so. After realizing that some of my last work was done over a year ago, I don't think I can really ignore it anymore. While I haven't quite thrown in the towel on this quite yet, it's pretty evident to me and I'm sure to everyone who still follows this blog that my fervor for the project has drastically decreased. And has been kind of dead for a while. The comic has not been a priority to me, or posting online much at all actually. I did some soul searching and found that I'd started relying on outside approval for my art instead of doing art for the sake of wanting to tell a story and express myself throughout my work. I have limited energy and depression and sometimes it feels like i get such little progress done even though it takes all of my energy. While I'm trying to go to the gym more and build better habits my energy levels and mood still have a lot to be desired, and I'd rather use the limited energy I have to work on something I'm more passionate about.
I've been trying to grow my skills and absorb more stories and I've moved around a lot and started to listen to what I really felt, and I found that a lot of the art I want to focus on deals with heavier and more mature topics. I do love this story, and all of the characters and I feel like I could make a really clever subversion of what is expected from an Underfell comic. But I feel like in these uncertain times with the world and with all of the stuff going on right now, I'd like to use my energy to work on stories that hit closer to the things that I feel are important. So that's why I've not been posting much.
I'm working on a book, and I've actually got quite a lot of progress done on it, but because of all the horror stories online about people stealing author's original works, I'm kind of holding off on publishing any chapters before I can copyright the first draft of the novel. So my online activity will still be pretty scarce for a bit, though I'll still post occasionally on my @cosmicpixel01 account. I'll try better to not be so radio silent though lol. Even if that means I'll post something boring about my dog or books I'm reading just so everyone knows I'm still alive.
I don't want to call it quits on the story. But I also feel like you guys have been kept waiting to see what happens for a really long time, and that makes me feel so guilty. I will try to finish up the pages I have in the works, and I'm probably going to switch to a different format that is some drawings, some writing to finish the story. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to finish it the way I intended for you guys, even with all of the support and kind words and even the fanart that I've kept in a folder on my desktop. I am letting a lot of you down, but I feel like the radio silence is probably more irresponsible than just going out and saying something. And I'm sorry I've kept you all waiting for a not-so-happy update on the blog.
I hope that some of you will continue to follow me for some of my other exploits and see whatever other things I have going on, but I understand that you all followed me for Undertale so I don't want you to feel any sort of guilt if you decide not to. I'm just happy you all supported me for so long.
I'll try to work on this blog again soon, and if anyone has any questions, my asks are open, though I'll probably keep the asks private. Until then I hope everyone stays safe out there. And from the bottom of my heart, thank you.
-Avery
#not pages#unofficial-underfell#this was so hard to write i dont want to be a quitter but I'm tired#avery speaks
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hi! so I had a question, how long did it take you to build a following on tumblr? how long have you been writing for spn as a whole (I assume you started with it but I’m not sure I meant when did you start writing on the app mostly) and do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you for other people? (I hope the wuestion made sense)
Hi there, lovely anon!
Oh, these are great questions, and I'm happy to answer. I'm going to be referencing this post, as someone asked me a similar question.
I also talk a lot about my beginning fanfic/coming to Tumblr experience and building a following in this interview I did with the @idlingintheimpalapodcast.
That being said, here's how I got started in SPN fandom and on Tumblr, and 6 Tumblr Tips related to how I've tried to grow my blog:
Learn How Tumblr Functions
Create a Tag List
Posting Schedules, Announcements, and Sneak Previews
People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements) + shoutouts to blogs I looked to for inspo
Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy
When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs
Deeper dive below the cut:
Writing for SPN & Starting on Tumblr
To be honest, I'm a bit late to the party when it comes to Tumblr. I've written for many different fandoms over the 15 years or so I've been writing fanfic, but I've been writing for Supernatural in particular since around 2015. I wrote on platforms like Fanfiction.net, and later I moved over to Ao3.
I dabbled with Tumblr starting in 2021 while I was working on a Billy Butcher x OC story for the Boys (And So It Goes). But after watching the last season of SPN, I got the SPN bug again, so I started dipping back into the fandom.
But I wasn't really that active on Tumblr until January 2023, when I wrote my first soulmate AU series for Dean Winchester, called Never Say Goodbye (Dean x soulmate!Reader).
That started a very fun journey for me in the Tumblr world, engaging with people and making friends here with awesome people! 💕
Now, here are a few tips on what I've learned in building my following. You don't have to do exactly what I did. This is just my advice based on my personal experience here:
Tip #1: Learn How Tumblr Functions
Everything has been a process of trial and error. I have a professional background in content and social media marketing, so that knowledge has helped me a lot with some elements I'll get into later.
But it took me time to learn the Tumblr landscape. I had to figure out:
Why it's important to reblog -- not just your own work in replying to people's comments, but what you read and enjoy. It's what makes Tumblr go 'round.
The different mobile vs. desktop views and functions.
How to format my posts and use hashtags that would best optimize my fics and posts, based on the most followed tags in the fandom I was writing for.
How to create design elements, like banners, dividers, and headers that matched my aesthetic and the fandom.
Make sure my blog is easy to read, visually, and easy to navigate, technically (links to my masterlists, series masterlists, tag list, my fic library side blog, Patreon, etc.).
I'm still adjusting all these things now and then as I figure out new ways to keep readers engaged, and make my blog as easy to navigate as possible.
Tip #2: Create a Tag List
A tag list is a list of blog users that request to be tagged in your upcoming fics. (See this post on tips for formatting tag lists and optimizing hashtags on posts.)
Some authors don't do tag lists anymore because they find it a hassle (and it can be), but even if you're just starting out, advertise your tag list -- I suggest at the end of a fic and in your bio, your masterlist, and/or navigation page. It will get more eyes on your posts, and hopefully more engagement.
I used Google Forms to build up my tag lists because it's easy to use and it creates a Google spreadsheet for you based on the responses you get (an idea I got from another writer who was doing the same thing). You can also create more sheets within the file to organize the responses by character, for example.
On my tag list, I gave readers options to choose which character they wanted to be tagged on based on the fandoms I write for. I also created tag lists for new series to go with the series masterlist. Like I said above, I created spreadsheets for each of these lists within my tag list form master sheet.
Now, you don't have to do it exactly this way. There are many ways to keep track of a tag list.
Some people may think my approach is too much work, but this was very successful for me in building up my tag lists and increasing my following. Staying organized is key! 🤓✌🏽
I have since created a side blog @zepskieswrites for people to follow with notifications on, since my character tag lists are full.
Tip #3: Posting Schedules, Announcements & Sneak Previews
When my blog started to gain traction from my first SPN series, I knew I had to post consistently. For me, this meant once a week (sometimes more if the mood strikes me), to keep that momentum going. YouTube vloggers do the same thing for this reason. They have a set posting schedule and give announcements.
You don't have to post once a week. That's just what I did last year to increase engagement, but also because I love to write, I was getting inspired, and I made the time for it!
Remember that writing and sharing your work and being a part of the fandom on Tumblr is supposed to be fun. At the same time, what you get out of something depends on how much time you have to put into it.
Basically what I’m saying is, I’ve put a lot of time and energy into my writing and my blog, but only because it’s been very fun to do it! 😉
Now, going back to being consistent. It can help you! When people know they have content waiting for them by a certain timeframe, and they see that you stick to that deadline, they're more likely to tune in and engage with your work.
Of course, real life comes first, always, and things can derail you, but on the whole I make sure that I keep my word when I say I'm going to post something. Tumblr has a scheduling feature that allows you to schedule posts ahead of time, which I use on a daily basis. That can help you as well.
To try and generate buzz around new stories, I give writing updates or announcements, often with sneak previews, and the dates when I plan to drop the upcoming story. When I'm writing a series, on each chapter I give a preview of the next one, so I can try to keep people invested and waiting for the next chapter.
Tip #4: People are Visual (Use Images & Design Elements)
A huge element of successful content and social media is visuals. The first thing people are often drawn to when they look at a web page, an ad, or any kind of digital content is the picture -- and any other visual elements. Then they look at the title/headline, followed by the rest of the story.
This is why I always lead with the title of the story/headline and a GIF or image at the top of the post for a story. Draw readers in with their eyes to the visual, and then the content. I now create my own design elements, including story headers.
When I got started here on Tumblr, I also took a closer look at how other popular blogs I admired were organizing their masterlists, formatting their stories with banners, dividers, tags/warnings, word count, creating tag lists, and more -- both to create their blog aesthetic and to make it easier for readers to enjoy their work on different levels -- the content itself, and the visual elements.
Shoutouts to some of those writers I looked to, who have a lovely blog aesthetic and organization: @luci-in-trenchcoats @deanwinchesterswitch @deanbrainrotwritings @dean-winchester-is-a-warrior
Form and function is a balance, and they should work together. For example, there are some design/post formatting elements that are getting popular now on Tumblr that I personally don't vibe with, because I think it takes away from the reader's experience.
Like making the entire post or story in small case. Readers that have trouble seeing small fonts won't want to read this.
or making everything in the story lower case. this just bothers me for grammatical reasons. guarantee i will be turned off from reading. 😂
Also, most people browse Tumblr on their phone rather than on desktop. (About 62% according to current Semrush statistics.) So certain things that are small in your desktop version will be even smaller on mobile.
If you have a custom blog design, some design elements may not transfer well visually on mobile vs. desktop, and vice versa. So you'll want to check both versions to see how it looks, and possibly make adjustments.
Now, this isn't to say you have to become a graphic designer if that's not your thing. There are plenty of people who share their lovely designs for free, as long as you make sure to credit them if you use one of their banners, dividers, etc. Check out @cafekitsune and @firefly-graphics, for example.
Some of them even take requests. Just make sure to check their bio to see if they state whether they're currently taking requests or not. (This also goes for writers on fic requests.)
Tip #5: Support Your Fellow Writers! Reblog/Comment on What You Read & Enjoy
This is part of the fun when you start truly engaging with the fandoms you love.
Likes are cool. Comments are wonderful. Reblogs with comments are awesome, because not only do they get that engagement/feedback that they can reply to, but the reblog helps your fellow writers get seen. And while they aren't obligated to, they might be more inclined to do the same for you.
You'll also start to develop relationships within your fandom community. This is how I've made many friends and gained new readers on Tumblr -- by reblogging, sharing, commenting on what I liked about the fics I read. 💜
I try my best to support my fellow writers, no matter how new or how popular they are. Just because a writer has a bigger following, doesn't mean they appreciate feedback any less.
Feedback gives us writers energy and fuels us to write more. It can lead to more inspiration, and to continue the series you might be so invested in.
So if I took the time to read something, if I enjoyed it, I'm usually reblogging it and sharing my thoughts, even if it's just a gif or a couple of lines, or a long raving review. 💖
Tip #6: When I Do Get Engagement, I Reply to Comments and Reblogs
Along with supporting my fellow writers, engaging with the lovely people who read my work is just good fun! It's the best part of sharing my work on here and on Ao3. And it lets them know that you value and appreciate them for taking the time to comment and/or comment in a reblog. 💓💓💓
I hope these tips are helpful! Now, to answer your last question...
Do you think it usually takes as long as it did for you
[to build a following] for other people?
Interesting, but the truth is, I'm not sure. My knowledge of content and social media marketing has probably given me a leg up, I think. I've also been writing fanfic for a long time. Long before I ever heard about Tumblr.
I've spent years studying literature, creative writing, and screenwriting, and putting it into practice. I've spent years writing for other voices besides my own, outside of the fanfic world. Like anyone else, I can only go by what I've learned, my own instincts, my frame of reference, and what I want to write about next.
Like anyone else, I can only hope that what I put out there vibes with people and touches them in some way, enough that they feel comfortable letting me know what they thought about it. 💜
In the meantime, I'll just keep getting inspiration from this guy (and other characters):
#zepskies answers#how to build a tumblr following (in my experience)#dean winchester#dean winchester x reader#soldier boy#spn#the boys#dean winchester x you#jensen ackles#supernatural#dean winchester imagine#spn fanfic#dean winchester fanfiction#jackles#sam winchester#sam winchester x reader#supernatural x reader#soldier boy x reader#soldier boy fanfiction#russell shaw x reader#russell shaw#tracker#beau arlen#beau arlen x reader#dean winchester x oc#priestly x reader#alec mcdowell x reader#jason teague x reader#billy butcher#cj braxton x reader
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What are your thoughts on GRRM’s new notablog post on HOTD S2?
omg i'm sorry so i did not get notified that i had a few new asks, i didn't even see this until i logged in on desktop. tumblr eat shit smh.
ANYWAYS.
I actually agree with Xiran Jay Zhao, here, where they said this was a warning shot. It feels like a warning shot. Like a "hey I'm being nitpicky and pedantic now but if you think I won't go scroched earth you got another thing coming." I've seen so much "this is unprofessional" "this is annoying" "why is he complaining" and I think it is not only mind boggling to side with a corporation and the idiots running these shows (and we know I mostly like Condal and Hess, but come on Condal was the mastermind of Sansa Bolton why are we defending him right now!!), I think everyone is blowing his comments wildly out of proportion. He didn't take a dig at anyone but the writer's room and more specifically Ryan Condal, who he has had a working relationship with for well over a decade. He didn't shittalk any casting, he didn't shittalk any specific writers or directors except one of the main showrunners, he compliments the special effects, he has consistently had (and imo is careful) nothing but praise for the actors, even minor roles like Blood & Cheese. This was an incredibly milqtoast "please remember that every change has huge affects on the narrative later" critique and the people handwringing over his behavior are absolute losers, I'm sorry.
And beyond the fact that he didn't make any huge digs, I think this conversation also wildly ignores the way authors have no control over their own characters once they sign the rights over. They can be completely bamboozled by changes and they have no recourse to go "what the hell are you doing." And yet, signing your book's rights away (even if the production sits in developmental hell for decades) is usually what nets these author's the most money - GRRM surely makes a shitton off his books, but most authors get paid absolutely nothing even when they're wildly popular because of how book deals work now. Take, again, Xiran for example - Iron Widow was a huge runaway hit, a good and fresh take on this new boom of culturally based sff. And yet Xiran has talked about how they immediately set to work writing a middle grade novel because they desperately needed the money because they got paid 16k over two years for their runaway hit that made their publishers significantly more than 16k. I think George is not only mad for authors with less control than he has but also, obviously, for himself - I've said time and again, but I do think Dark Daenerys is where we are headed, and the fact that they completely botched showing it has got to smart. And if the ending for Dany is anything other than Jon killing her, that has got to smart too. So he watched these people fuck up his original series and push him completely out of that writer's room as they made more and more changes, and now he's watching s2 of HOTD and seeing some changes and getting some real bad vibes. It's not doomerism to think s3 is going to go massively off the rails when we have seasons 6-8 of the main show to show us just how off the rails it can go!
So anyways, that part of my rant over (and please believe me when I say I checked myself here because I could rant for hours about how it's genuinely so upsetting to see people call him unprofessional over this when not only did he write the fucking series, but he's lived in this series for three decades!!!!! this is his whole life, this is his legacy, of course he's feeling some type of way about how it's handled jesus christ on a cracker, there's people who have said worse about their mediocre nyt pushed bestsellers getting adapted badly!), when it comes to the actual meat of his post....I'm sorry idk how anyone is annoyed by this post because it was hilarious to me. He spent a whole blog post whinging about how Dead Baby #4 and Kingsguard Man #12 are gonna get cut out of the show. I think he framed it in that goofy way on purpose to hide how annoyed he is but you can see where the real annoyance lies - the changes to Helaena, losing one of his grisly death scenes, and being willfully mislead about potential changes to the plot. I think a lot of people missed those points but EYE am not a goofy ass like those people and I can guarantee you that Condal and HBO got the point too.
Of course, I do think he is also irked about Maelor and Ser Rickard's scenes being cut out. He wrote a long ass, highly meticulous, near unadaptable work, and I think when he handed the IP over he assumed he was giving it to people who would rise to the challenge and only make cuts when absolutely necessary. And that just clearly hasn't happened. Incredibly important characters get cut, main characters get their plots wildly changed for no reason, and people get personality transplants on a near constant basis for no other reason than D&D and Condal thought it would look cooler. I think if there was more dedication to keeping him in the loop and keeping true to the story, he wouldn't have bitched so much. But Hess is on record saying she doesn't feel loyal to the story and at a certain point, you reach your breaking point there and I think he has finally reached his. AND GOOD FOR HIM. LET THAT OLD MAN GO APESHIT THEY'VE COMPLETLEY FUCKED HIS WORLD UP!!!
#asks#grrm#anti D&D#anti ryan condal#anti hotd#like saying this as someone who liked the first season and thought the blacks part of this season was good#he is right to be mad and i can't believe i've seen so many people get angry over this#i would be so much more annoying if i was him
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WIBTA if i cut off someone reaching out for help on tumblr? i am a very anxious person. ive been on tumblr a very long time because most all other social media terrifies me as someone who grew up with the wild west internet a decade past (im in my late 20s) so i feel sometimes with how reckless and spurractic people can be online in chatroom and especially clearly public platforms where any stranger, malicious or otherwise can just archive your digital presence for personal use.
more recently as someone who has been here during the pornban and as an asexual really enjoyed the quiet with no drama farming and a slow pace to talk about more unique political topics in a measured way it is something im strangely nostalgic for and a great example of my sensibilities to people when they insist that i use other platforms like discord or twitter or whatever clone for these services comes out of the old guard introducing feature creep to copy everyone else or any other indi "were the anti corporate version" of the endless scroll apps. i just dont want it. tumblr is special because im desktop only, been here for years, and i have kept track of every single change made so i have manually adjusted the change through hacks to evade every bad decision on here and make my set up look identical to how it was in 2010. so let it be understood that i tend to be a loney person because of this stubbornness. web 3.0 is too dangerous to people with addictive tendencies that my adhd brings out and my need to wear my heart on my sleeve. so i hope i defended my personality type enough to show why someone like me would see a post about some horrible abuses they have fell victim to who also share alot of the marginalized status as me and writing depressive things in the replys of others posts as to attention seek about it.
i directly interact with this person, not only to check if they are real (but wow, modern chat bots make this part horrifying for me. we really cant ever know for sure what is real anymore. trying to find warmth on the internet feels impossible now a days) i have multiple conversations at this point both venting and just casually shooting the shit. but the begging for me to constantly repost their paypal makes me so nervous in a way that i feel so guilty for because it reminds me of all the scams that get associated with this kind of ebegging and the reminder that capitalism takes away all warmth from human interaction to make them purely transnational and conditional. but then it just has been escalating where im so scared that now its not enough that im reposing on my 8 follower, all mutual blog, they are asking me to share it on other socials. accounts i do not have i have a flip phone and a laptop and i am tinkering with a windows 7 tower that will never be connected to the internet so i can always have software sit perfectly in its time capsule for when i need it. i do not have a way to help this person outside of what i learned from collage psyche classes. a part of me is so scared to just abruptly cut them off and just delete my entire account like i tend to do often on tumblr for a multitude of reasons, its a part of what lets people survive being here this long but i worry that would crush them if i did that, i dont want to make them feel more hopeless and unwanted then they already talk about. but i am text on the internet through a screen. i can only do so much. so would i be the asshole if i just deleted my account with a "i hope you hang in there, the world is a harsh place but keep moving" to cut someone so similar to me who is struggling out of my life?
What are these acronyms?
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Twist of Fate; Twenty-Five
Pairings; LADS OT4 x reader
Word count; 1,827
Themes; isekai, slow-burn (eventual smut), canon divergence
Warnings; swearing and some future mature themes
Notes; A bit of a late chapter, but it's still within my weekend limit so I think it's okay! This chapter is on the shorter end just because I wanted to get it out there and I want to sort of...speed through Xavier's myth because I'm sure people are growing tired of the dream sequence arc. Anyways, major canon divergence near the end, it's not too noticeable as of right now, but you'll see what I mean in later chapters!
Also I'm so sorry if you're reading this on desktop lmao. The title, masterlist, and stuff look centered on mobile, but on my laptop, it definitely doesn't 😭 I don't write on laptop though, so...if it's uneven, it's uneven 🤷🏻♀️
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☆ masterlist ☆
“Xavier?” You immediately stood up and cleared your throat, hoping he didn’t catch your conversation with Jeremiah. “You…had a rather short chat with the royal messenger.”
Though, Xavier remains quiet. His gaze moves from your face to the arm around your shoulders to Jeremiah’s pensive expression.
You could sense some…hostility.
“Don’t glare at me. His highness left her injured so someone had to step up.” Your friend says, putting on the dramatics. “She was drowning in a pool of tears because of your highness’s lack of mercy.”
“It’s a shame your kindness was wasted.” Xavier responds in a monotone voice as he pushes Jeremiah’s arm off your shoulder. “I should provide succor for my junior.”
Was he…jealous?
“Well, I was only acting out of the kindness of my own heart.” Jeremiah shrugs. He had a slight mischievous look on his face and you elbow him in his side.
The plaza was enormous yet Xavier passes through between you and Jeremiah, and drags you away by your wrist. “Xavier...” You sigh, trying your best not to put any pressure on your ankle.
“Aid your junior instead of mine in her moments of distress if your heart is so full of compassion, then.” And with that, Xavier’s gentle hand wraps around your wrist once more and begins walking in the opposite direction– slow enough so you can keep up with him as you limp behind him.
But, once Jeremiah was out of view, Xavier crouches down in front of you so you can get on his back.
Xavier was piggybacking you to your mentor’s lodging. Your mentor, a Grand Knight of the Lightseeker Legion, was known as one of the greatest swordmasters of Philos and a trusted advisor to the King himself.
This is why he was granted special permissions to live on the campus and this is where he teaches his students. Xavier took you here because there’s a first aid station that you both know all too well.
“Xavier, my legs can walk just fine! Seriously…” You sigh once he finally sits you down in one of the nearby chairs.
“Were you actually crying back there?” As he asks this, Xavier looks away. A crestfallen look washing over his face. “Jeremiah was just saying nonsense. Do you actually believe him?” You tilt your head down to meet his eyes with a raised brow.
“Let me check.” Xavier puts his hands on the arms of the chair as he leans in close to your face.
Hey…This seems a little familiar, doesn't it—
“Your eyes are red. If you weren’t crying, then you’ve got to be sick.” His voice has a soft tone to it, akin to crushed velvet.
“I’m perfectly fine,” you scoff and quickly turn your head to the side, ears turning red.
Xavier’s body blocked out much of the light. Cupping your cheek, he rested his thumb on your lower eyelid and stared at you. After a few minutes of silence, you flinched as he blew air into your face.
“Xavier, you– What was that for?” You blink with your now watery eyes and Xavier just chuckles and moves back from you, “I spotted a silhouette of a hooligan in your eyes. Now all is well.”
“Huh…A hooligan, you say? Do you mean Jeremiah?” You muse, leaning your back against the wall as you lightly swing your legs.
Xavier raises a brow at this before he gets an almost pouty expression on his face, crossing his arms over his chest as he looks out the window, “To approach you for no reason, let alone touch you…How is he not one?”
“You’re the hooligan for suddenly making that weird expression,” you fire back, unsure as to why Xavier is upset in the first place– well, you know why, but apparently she doesn’t.
You lunged forward to grab his wrist, wanting to question why Xavier looked so upset, but you moved a little too quickly and instead your body fell forward. Unable to stop yourself and with Xavier not moving, the two of you fell onto the carpet below.
Xavier lets out a noise of surprise as you land on his chest and you lightly hit it with your hand. “Why didn’t you move?”
“You’ll be walking with a limp if you twist your ankle again.” The way he speaks, it’s as if he values your safety over his own and you sigh, shaking your head, “Had I twisted your ankle, our teacher would never forgive us. He’d speak of…”
“The Grandis Knight is to be the King’s steady blade. Where his majesty points, your blade must follow,” He finishes your sentence for you and then looks up at the ceiling. “In every waking moment, every dream can I recite those words.”
You look around for a moment before resting your chin on his chest, not wanting to move just yet. “Hmm…Is he not coming back today?” Then your eyes widen and you groan, covering your face with your hands, “I haven’t studied the technique he showed me! I’ll be dead if he asks…”
“He’s with the other knights. He’ll be away for some time.” Xavier chuckles with a small smile, his hands slowly moving up to curl around your waist before they stiffen just before touching you.
“Ahem…”
“Hmm? You’re back already?” Xavier clears his throat as he sits up, making sure you don’t put any pressure on your ankle as you move to sit on the floor next to him.
“Ah…Congratulations on your flawless victory?” You sheepishly grin up at your mentor as you rub the back of your neck.
“Who taught you two to formally greet your teacher while on the floor?” The older man had a kind, yet stern tone, similar to a father exasperated by his loving children.
“Stand up.”
Well, after that…awkward moment, you have dinner together with your teacher. He speaks about the expedition, another royal family member lost in the dark sea of space, and then finally, finally asks about your ankle.
Which leads to both you and Xavier being unable to cover up your lies, and your teacher laughing at a future King using his future Grandis Knight to skip out on class and…since it was a tie, the two of you had to go outside after you finished eating and fight again, and again until a winner was decided.
Great.
You’re going to be so physically tired after this dream.
After fighting in front of the Holy Sword of the Goddess into the late hours of the night, Xavier finally gives you an order to sit down and rest. You both had won your fair share of times and your palms were bloody– maybe you should invest in some gloves…
Under the Goddess Statue, Xavier and you sat next to each other in the grass. Taking some medicine out of his pocket, he pours it over your bloodied hands.
“Ouch–” You hiss between your teeth at the sting of pain, “I think you used too much, Doctor Xavier.”
“And yet with remarkable determination, you didn’t appear to be in any pain until I applied medicine.” Xavier doesn’t look up as he pulls more and more first-aid out of his pockets. His deft fingers gently wrap a tight bandage around your left hand, before moving on to your right.
To distract yourself from the pain, you look up at the stars before noticing a glimmer of light on the Goddess Statue’s face.
“This monument was forged from the swords of previous Grandis Knights, right?” You never noticed the statue having anything on her face during the daytime, but you were curious about that…Well, whatever it is.
“Yes, did you want to know more about it?” Xavier finally looks up, hands pausing their task as he takes a moment to think before he continues, “Ehko.”
“Huh?” You turn back to look at Xavier, but he’s back to bandaging your palms.
“You wanted to know the story behind the statue, right? According to some ancient books I found, her name was Ehko. There’s not much else written about her, but that light on her face can only be seen at night. No one knows why though, the statue doesn’t have anything that can give off light on her face.” He’s hyper-focused on your hand as he speaks, wiggling your fingers to make sure they’re not too tightly wrapped.
“Maybe…” You look back up at the statue. “She’s crying?”
“Why would she be crying?” He asks, letting your hands go as he finishes wrapping them.
“Maybe she’s mourning the fallen Grandis Knights…or a lover perhaps?” You muse before shrugging. “Anyone can come up with a believable story, but when all is said and done, the statue is still a constant reminder of ‘Wherever his majesty points, a knight’s sword must follow.’”
“You are no knight.” Xavier shakes his head. It’s a wonder why he’s so unwilling for you to follow him, for you to stay by his side as a Grandis Knight with him as King.
“It’s only a matter of time before I am.” You sigh, pressing your lips together in a thin line as you lean forward to hug your knees to your chest. It almost felt as if…you didn’t want to be a knight, but you were forced into this role.
“So…why did his majesty send the royal messenger today?”
“They’re requesting I return like always. The royal messenger said the preparations for the Titulus Ceremony are underway.” Xavier sounded gloomy as he spoke, reluctant.
“The Titulus Ceremony…? So suddenly…”
As the only Prince of Philos, Xavier had to participate in the royal family’s numerous ceremonies, not a single one could be skipped when he was to eventually wear the crown. Especially a ceremony as important as this one.
“He might not make it this time.” Xavier looks away from you. His face, illuminated by the few fireflies that came out to dance around in the night, was rather neutral. The only hint of emotion came from the down-turn of his lips and the light dimming in his eyes.
“...Will you depart immediately?” You had to physically stop yourself from balling your hands into fists, instead opting to hold your hands together as anxiety bubbled in your chest.
You hear a sigh from Xavier and look up to see him shaking his head. A hint of anger flicks through his eyes before he speaks, “I refuse to forget that incident.”
While this version of you can only speculate on what he means by this, you truly know the reason behind his anger, his resentment, toward his father.
It seems he really is the same Xavier from your first dream and, in turn, the same Xavier that you already know– and perhaps love.
It’s strange that, in all of your dreams, Xavier is the one you feel closest to, because he really is the same Xavier. He’s not a cold and callous demi-god nor is he a God of the Sea, he’s just Xavier.
I don't really have an author's note for the ending tbh 🤔😭 since I refuse to elaborate on the canon divergence stuff right now...so anyway, did you see the new 5 star cards?
I love cat boys so much 🥺 so this is perfect for me! They all look so good, but I'm definitely going to go for Rafayel's if I can.
Speaking of 5 star cards, I might include the main story branches if they're canon. Like if they come immediately after the MC returning from the N109 Zone! I haven't looked at any of them yet, but I will soon just to see. And if they are, they'll happen a few weeks to a month after the dream sequences (in story btw, not irl time), because Y/n is probably going to have a mental breakdown :D
Oh! I will add that Ehko can be pronounced as "Eco(e-co)", "Echo(ek-o)", or even "Eiko (eye-ko)", it honestly doesn't matter how it's pronounced so go wild
Taglist; @orphicmeliora , @yoongi-tunes , @mitzkooni , @hiqhkey , @tanspostsblog , @shypotatoes013-blog
#lads#love and deepspace#lnds#l&ds#love and deepspace x reader#lads x reader#lnds x reader#l&ds x reader#lads sylus#lads xavier#lads zayne#lads rafayel#love and deepspace xavier#love and deepspace rafayel#love and deepspace zayne#love and deepspace sylus#zayne x reader#xavier x reader#rafayel x reader#sylus x reader#lnds xavier#lnds rafayel#l&ds sylus#lnds sylus#lnds zayne#zayne love and deepspace#lads rafayel x reader#xavier love and deepspace#lnds fic#lads fic
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Took You Long Enough
Pairing: Shayne Topp x fem!reader
Summary: All of your friends are tired of you and Shayne flirting with each other even if you two claim your friends, so they have to take matters into their own hands
Requested by @winifrede , hope you like it!
You walked into work, feeling energized.
This has been your fifth year working at Smosh. You handled the writing in your first two years, then after a few cameo appearances, you became a full cast member.
You go to the kitchen first, wanting to grab a Celsius before the office meeting.
"Celsius? I'm surprised you didn't go to your regular coffee place down the street." a voice asks out loud.
You smile to yourself, turning around with your drink as you saw Shayne.
He was by the shelves, trying to find one of his snacks that he purposely hides in the back.
"Wanted to change things up a bit, but I also chose to stay sane and not jittery every 5 minutes."
Shayne laughs, giving you his signature grin.
"That reminds me, did you like that book I gave you? I know it wasn't your type of genre, but it made me think of you." He says, giving you his full attention as his snack was long forgotten.
Your eyes brighten as you dig in your bag on your side, digging to find it.
"I loved it so much! I think this has to be my top 5 books. Thank you for lending it to me." You said, offering it back to him.
"Anytime. Let me know if you want any other recs." He said. You two talked a bit more before you had to go, but what you didn't know was that a few of your friends were secretly watching you two.
"See how they flirt with each other? No wonder they have fan edits." Jackie points out from her chair. It was true, since you've been in more videos, the fans speculated how you and Shayne had great chemistry on screen and on vlogs. But Shayne always said that hasn't dated in a long time and you've been trying to see people (but haven't found anything long-term).
"I'm really surprised they haven't thought of dating each other by now. They seem really good together." Kimmy said, sighing.
"Too perfect." Damien mutters softly as he was working on his computer.
Jackie and Kimmy perk their heads up and look at their friend who hasn't realized what he said.
"Is there something you would like to share with the class?" Jackie asks, a bit too hostile.
Damien stops typing his keyboard as he realized that he made a mistake.
"I- um, don't know what you're talking about." Damien says, acting dumb.
Jackie and Kimmy get up in unison and corner Damien in his seat.
"Spill it Haas." Kimmy says, pointing her finger at her.
Damien raises his hands in the air for defense, squinting his eyes.
"Okay, okay! You got me." He says. The two girls lean in closer so no one could hear but them.
"Shayne and I were hanging out at his place and I noticed he got new books. I asked where he got them and he said he was borrowing them from her. After that, he just started rambling on and on about what they had in common. Then, he was thinking of asking her out on a date."
Jackie and Kimmy squeal almost jumping up and down.
"Wait, why hasn't Shayne asked her out yet?" Kimmy asks.
Damien sighs. "He's tried, but he's too shy when he tries asking her. I guess since he's still trading books with her, he still likes her, even if it's killing him that they're just friends.
"Well, we have to change that. And I know how..." Jackie says in an evil tone, looking at her desktop for her unfinished script for their upcoming video: Smosh Pit Theater.
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Most of the cast was on set for shooting the fan fiction video. There was you, Jackie, Damien, Chanse, Angie, Kimmy, Courtney, and Shayne. Everyone was wearing their black turtlenecks.
You were all about to record as you explained the audience of what's to come.
"Hello everyone. Today, we will be showing a special type of Smosh Theater. Not only did some of our cast members wrote fanfiction about us, but we have a bigger budget as well!" Damien said at the camera.
Now it was Kimmy's turn to speak to the camera. "All of the budget was used on props and costumes! Our writers today are Jackie, Courtney, and Damien." they all take their individual bows.
"No one knows what the writers wrote so we are acting this out for the first time." you later explained.
"This is a serious production and we are serious actors." Shayne says with a pretentious voice.
"Without further ado, let us begin." Courtney concluded.
Since she had the floor, it was her turn first. Courtney wrote about the members surviving in a post apocalyptic world.
Then, it was Damien's turn. He wrote a fic that was about the smosh members in a spy noir setting where they tried to find out who killed their boss, Ian Hecox. You thought it was such a great script.
Finally, it was Jackie (who looked a little too giddy). She steps right up and holds a stack of papers in her hands. "This fanfiction was inspired by two of my friends, known to swap their favorite books to each other. I think it's hella cute."
You look a bit off-guard as well as Shayne, not knowing what will come next. "I was too eager to write this that it only took me a day. For our final fanfiction, I give you 'A Hidden Chapter of Our Love,' written by me."
She starts giving everyone their roles:
Shayne is the lead role, a soft-spoken bookworm
Damien was a theater kid who wants to go to Juliard
Chanse is the captain of the cheerleading team & the school bully
Courtney was the narrator *her lines will be italicized*
Kimmy was the ditzy cheerleader
Angie was the misfit, who often got in trouble
Jackie was a prestigious art student
and you, the only nice, popular cheerleader who starts to fall in love with the bookworm, Shayne
Everyone started wearing their costumes, fitting into their roles. You, Kimmy, and Chanse had pom poms, Shayne had books, Damien was wearing a black scarf with that hat from the musical Newsies, Jackie held a sketchpad, and Angie wore a leather jacket.
Everyone had a script in their hands and was ready to act out Jackie's script.
Scene 1: The Meet Up
It was the first day at Smosh High, and students were eager to have a memorable senior year.
Here we have Shayne, a shy scholarly student who wished to get out of his small town and go to his dream university.
"Just a few more months and I can get the hell out of here." Shayne said, shifting his glasses.
"Don't I know it." Damien replied.
Damien was Shayne's best friend since junior high. He was always the star of each show he's done. And like Shayne, wants to leave the bounds of his old life and rise like the phoenix he is.
They walk in the hallway to find their homeroom and accidentally bump into a group of cheerleaders.
"Watch it, nerds."
Chanse said, knocking down Shayne's books to the floor. Chanse was the most ruthless cheerleader at their high school. he often picked on people who weren't in the cheer squad or in a sport.
"Yeah, what he said." Kimmy replied.
Kimmy was your pretty cheerleader that all the students wished to have, but at times was pretty clueless. The two strutted away except for one cheerleader.
"I'm sorry about my friends." You said, kneeling down to help Shayne with his books.
That was the only nice cheerleader on the squad. She wasn't like the other girls, and had a dark secret that only two people know in this school. She can't help but notice how cute this blonde guy with his books.
You and Shayne can't help but snicker after those words.
"Don't bother, you don't want to be seen with a low life like me." Shayne said, brushing you aside.
She got up and shyly looks over her shoulder till she hears Chanse calling her to follow them to the lockers.
"I don't get why you're so mean to her, she was just trying to help." Damien says.
Shayne rolls his eyes.
"It's all just an act. Cheerleaders like her would do anything to be recognized to become prom queen."
Shayne stated as the two make their way to homeroom.
Scene 2: You Again?
Jackie and Angie were talking into their first period of AP Literature and see their friend since kindergarten come late and sit next to them.
"Well well well, the popular girl is gracing us with her presence." Angie said, pretending to bow.
"Ha ha, very funny." You said.
"You sure Chanse won't be upset when he hears you're talking with us?" Jackie asks, pretending to draw on her paper.
"No, I don't get why he told the squad we can't have any other friends outside of the team. I love you guys I want us to have the best senior year ever." You said.
Jackie and Angie aw as they all hug.
"By the way, the teacher told us that we got paired up randomly with the people in our class for the entire year. Me and Angie got paired up." Jackie says.
"And you got paired with Shayne in the back, you two will hit off since you both love-"
The cheerleader shushes Angie, looking around to see if anyone heard.
"You know you can't say my secret to the school. If word got out, I'll be done." You exaggerated.
Angie rolls her eyes as she puts her feet on the table.
"I'll meet up with Shayne but I'll see you guys after school?"
They wave goodbye while you make your way to Shayne who was reading a book.
"Whatcha reading?" You ask.
"It's called 'None of your beeswax.'" Shayne stubbornly says.
"Ouch." your friends said offscreen.
"Look, we're about to work together for the entire year. Can we try to at least tolerate each other?" you ask.
"Fine." Shayne says.
The bell rings and everyone gets out of their seats, collecting their things. The cheerleader and the bookworm decide to meet during the weekend to talk about their project.
When Shayne looks down at her seat, he sees that she left a book that she must have forgotten. He picks it up, reading the cover.
"Pride & Prejudice? Why does she have this?" He asks out loud.
What he doesn't know is that he's about to unlock your biggest secret.
Later on, the plot thickens as your character and Shayne begin flirt with each other.
"-and that's how Damien and I are banned from the local Denny's."
You laugh at his story as you tuck your hair behind your ear.
"You know, you're pretty nice when you're not rude to me."
"and you're not as stuck up as I thought you'd be." Shayne replied.
Shayne gives you a gaze, trying to figure out who is this girl.
"By the way, I've been meaning to give you back something." Shayne said, taking out your copy of Pride & Prejudice.
"Where did you get that?" you ask, dramatically.
"You left this on your desk. I thought this was for school but this wasn't on the reading list."
She takes it away from him, hugging it closely.
"Be careful! It's a hardcover." You whispered, peering down to see if it was damaged.
"You're nervous that I found a book, you're the only cheerleader in our AP Lit, are you..."
Shayne leans closer into her ear.
"A bookworm?"
You try so hard to stifle a laugh. You got back into character and look at Shayne.
"Yes, I've been hiding it since I was 12 years old."
Shayne gasps out loud, surprised. A smart cheerleader in his presence? He thought those never existed.
"Dear god." Chanse said behind the camera.
"Promise not a word goes out. Only my friends, Angie and Jackie, know. I'm just trying to get by till graduation, then I could be whoever I want to be."
"You know, I feel that. Your secret is safe with me." He says.
Scene 3: Everything falls apart
After her secret was revealed to Shayne, they start to hang out more. They trade books behind the football stands and often hid in the library, discussing the plots of each story they read.
"Wait, you like hanging out with that Shayne guy? I thought he hated your guts!" Angie says.
"His best friend is so hot, especially when he sings Santa Fe." Jackie giggles.
Damien hides his face in his hands, feeling slightly flustered.
"I thought so too, but he seems sweet. I'm happy thatI found someone who has something in common with me."
"Or rather someone you like." Jackie hinted.
"We're just friends, nothing more. Let's go, we're going to be late for class." You said, getting your bag and heading your separate ways.
What the girls didn't know was that Kimmy was in the background, hearing every word her cheerleader friend said.
"Chanse will definitely want to hear this." she said, running away to find him.
Switch to Damien and Shayne who were by the lockers, talking mindlessly.
"So prom is coming up, do you think you're going?" Damien says.
"Prom is just a stupid event where teenagers are stuck in a room all night secretly hating on each other's guts in the school's gym." Shayne says, annoyed.
"So... no." Damien asks.
"You out of all people should know that I am not going to set foot at a school dance."
"I thought you could ask that cheerleader out since you've been sneaking off after school to the library. I'm thinking of asking that girl Jackie, she's so talented, and pretty, and smart, and pretty..."
"Whoa. what makes you think I should ask her?" Shayne asks.
"You guys are like Benedick and Beatrice from Shakespeare’s finest works. You both hate each other with a passion. Then, you realize you two are meant to be."
"Yeah, meant to be..." Shayne repeats his friends words.
Towards the end of the day, Chanse and Kimmy confront there fellow cheermate.
"Look girl, we need you to focus our way to the Cheer championships. You can't be associated yourself with some geeks. It'll ruin our image." Chanse snapped.
"Yeah, what Chanse said." Kimmy said
"So drop your loser friends, or you're off the team." Chanse said, strutting away with Kimmy.
"Hey!" A voice cried out. The cheerleader turns around to see Shayne running towards her, hiding something behind his back.
"I know we shouldn't be caught talking together in public, but I wanted to ask you somethi-"
"Shayne." You stopped him.
She takes a deep breath and is about to say something that she will soon regret.
"I don't think we should carry on about us: being friends and all. You're just a bookworm and I'm a cheerleader. We shouldn't mix." You said, walking away.
Shayne takes out a bouquet of flowers and throws them to the ground.
Everyone behind the camera feels bad for his character as they aw in pity.
"Prom is a waste of time... and so does pretty girls that break your heart."
After that scene, everyone changed into their prom outfits. Once you've changed, you were going back to set but you could hear someone saying your name. You were about to ask who it was but you see Damien and Shayne with their backs toward you, oblivious that you were there.
"I think Jackie is trying to get me and her to pair up." Shayne says.
"Really? I haven't noticed." Damien lies, trying to hid Jackie's secret.
"Like the switching books concept? We've just been doing that for a couple of years, it's not that romantic."
Damien looks at his friend who was clearly in denial.
"It's just us, tell me what's wrong man."
Shayne takes a deep breath.
"What I'm scared most is the kissing scene. I just... don't want things to change between us."
You feel your heart go down in your stomach. Of course he doesn't like you like that. You were about to leave until you heard Shayne speak up.
"I'm falling hard for her. And every time I don't tell her how I feel, it's just another day of letting her go."
Damien sighs and pats his friend's back.
"You'll never know how she feels until you ask her."
They sound like they were about to leave, so you made sure you were out of sight. At that moment, you knew what to do now.
Everyone gets ready for the prom scene on set. Courtney resumes her narrative.
Scene 5: One Final Dance
It was prom night. Everyone was dressed and was excited for tonight's festivities. Damien and Shayne walk in to their school gym.
"Thanks for coming man, you know you didn't have to come." Damien says.
"Don't worry, I'm just here to make sure you don't look like a fool in front of Jackie." Shayne said.
Then comes out Jackie and Angie. Jackie was sporting a ball gown while Angie was wearing a slip dress with her signature leather jacket and converse.
"Hi Dami, you look very handsome." Jackie says, hiding her giggles.
"And you look as radiant as the sun, m'lady." Damien bowed, kissing her hand.
"Ugh. Gross guys." Angie said.
The new couple hook their arms and make their way to the dance floor.
"Forced to come here too?" Shayne asks Angie.
"Yeah, Jackie would have lost her mind if she didn't have her moral support system. Thank god I didn't have to handle her alone."
"Who else did you guys come with?" Shayne asks.
"That would be me." a voice said.
Shayne turns around and sees you in a really pretty dress.
"Wow" Shayne said, not following the script anymore.
Angie makes her way out as someone cues some slow dance music that wasn't copyrighted.
Shayne tries to look away, crossing his arms as he looks down at the script.
"Thought you didn't want to be seen with me?" He asks.
"I had a change of heart, especially when I quit the Cheer squad."
Shayne turns around, not believing her words.
"Why did you do that? Don't you want to be popular?" He asks.
"No, I don't think I ever did. I just got lost of where I belong in high school."
"And where do you want to belong?" He asks.
"In your arms."
Everyone oohs off screen as you and Shayne blush like idiots.
Shayne awkwardly places his hands around your waist as you wrap yours around his neck.
"Remember when you gave me back my book? I wanted to give you something else." You said, silently gulping.
"What did you want to give me?" Shayne shyly asks, thinking you'll just give him a kiss on the cheek.
"This." you whispered.
You lean in to Shayne and kissed his lips. Your heart was beating a thousand times per second. You pull away and look at Shayne who looked off guard.
You look scared, not knowing if this was the best idea. It wasn't until Shayne dropped his script and kissed you again, holding you tight against him. You held on too, as your script was long forgotten.
Everyone of your friends cheered on. You two couldn't tell how much time passed till you heard someone speak up.
"Uh, guys? We're still rolling." Garrett said. You and Shayne pull away, looking a bit out of breath.
"Sorry, got lost in the scene." Shayne said as you two picked up your scripts on the floors.
"Mmm hmmm" Chanse hummed as people started to break out of laughter.
After the scene was done, you all wrapped up the episode and congratulated each other on a job well done.
When you dressed back, you bump into Shayne unexpectedly.
"H-Hi." you nervously stutter.
"Hey, I was um, actually looking for you."
"Oh, what's up?" You said, already knowing what he wanted to ask.
"That kiss... it really meant a lot to me. But I, I wished we could had our first kiss after a first date."
"Shayne Topp, are you asking me out?" You asked, smiling.
"Yes, I'd love if we could go on a date together."
"Took you long enough." You said, making him chuckle.
You two went out of the studio to head to your favorite cafe down the street, walking hand in hand.
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"All that hard work and they didn't thank us." Jackie says as Kimmy and Damien see that you two weren't around.
"I'm sure they'll say something later. For now, let them have fun." Kimmy smiled.
Damien gets a buzz from his phone and sees a text from Shayne.
He opens it and sees it's a pic with you and Shayne smiling with a message:
Thanks for the meddling, wouldn't be here without your guys' help. Will let you know how it goes.
Damien just chuckles and puts away his phone, letting his friend enjoy his first date with you as Jackie and Kimmy are already planning your wedding.
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man, just going through and queueing my thousandth emduo fan art and considering my emduo writing I'm doing this evening and with a VOD of an emduo stream open in a tab and with emduo art as my desktop background and I was just struck by a thought:
Undoubtedly this would be kinda weird to see people getting this into your friendships.
Like not even getting into whumping characters or aging them down or shipping or doing deep lore and meta of off-hand comments, just like, just the fact that I have been posting emduo art approximately 12 times a day for the past three years. Not even getting into the fact that one of those creators is dead. Like. That's gonna be a little weird to come across in the abstract, if you are a person with a friendship, seeing this friendship be like someone's blog theme. Multiple blog themes. The hashtag updates hourly.
Like I'm sure fandom is flattering, but also, there is undoubtedly a point where someone is like 'oh wait, so your entire hobby is about these characters that have my name? Like you spend hours a day on this? You have art up?" And then they go Oh Dear.
Which is why I think it's just so much greater for everyone if we keep our little derangement in fandom-specific corners of the internet and do not throw it into the creator's face. At all. Even the harmless stuff! Do not TTS about your fanfic! Sharing fan art and cosplay in the designated fan art channel— awesome. Inviting creators into your fandom group chat— boy. Can we not. As much as I am like man I could probably reach so many people, I probably should not promo fandom events in the philza discord! The actual guy is there, saying "here people can request gifts made for them about you" is gonna be weird.
There's just— there's a thing on twitter right now where this artist was making music and videos in a created world with characters, all very dreamlike and artistic, based in their childhood. And because it's the internet, someone wrote/drew NSFW of these characters. And because the internet is the way it is now, people were finding, searching out NSFW content to send it to the creator, presumably so they could take it down?
And I know these people had good intentions, however much I think that they're wrong, but I would argue that sending someone porn of characters based on you/on your kidfic is pretty close to harassment? Like do not show them that stuff. Come on. But the 'tattle to the creator' mentality was too strong.
And the creator, unsurprisingly, did not deal well with this! And then in what I think is a mistake, they have put together a team of people and a google form so that you can report if you find inappropriate or offensive content with their characters and the team will presumably try to copyright strike it. Which. Uh. Again. Is a whole horrible boundaries discourse, is going to lead to witch hunts, and I'm not sure about the legal success of copyright striking fan art and fanfic ANYWAYS.
But like this could have been avoided if instead of going "the creators need to know about this Bad Stuff" people just blocked and moved on. And I think so much more of modern fandom would take a step towards health if we could put more of a creator/fandom separation in place.
Like when I think back to the heyday of DSMP fandom and how these creators— many of them underage— were getting people sending them porn of themselves/their characters, to tattle. Oh look isn't this dark fic too dark. Look how horrible this gore is. This is borderline shipping. People were sending Phil's mods stuff tagged as QPR, because they couldn't get to Phil but he clearly so desperately needed to know this, so that he could condemn it as too close to shipping? Because that is respectful and a great idea?
And like this ranges from stuff where I'm like bro, he doesn't need to know that (small /neg, about stuff that isn't a big dealt), to bro, he doesn't need to know that (LARGE /neg, stop sending the creators porn), because like, okay, yes, you have correctly identified that this would be weird to have happen to you/to a character based on you. What you are missing here is that unless you want to usher in an era of insane copyright overreach that would make disney's lawyers ascend to a higher plane and also kill transformative fandom, there is effectively very little way to stop most of the bad stuff. Those characters are out there, people get to do what they want with them, no matter how much it's in poor taste. All you're doing when you show creators the bad stuff is making them look at stuff that is going to be unpleasant and they can't stop. So, y'know, harassment?
And even the good stuff— I know how to behave myself and act cool in public spaces the creators are in, but if they were to see the full depths of how much of my brain space is taken up by the blocks, I'm sure they'd kinda be left going hahaha you what????? Tomathy Innit was struck speechless by a single person doing a video essay analyzing L'manberg. I see that energy on the dash from dozens of mutuals every damn DAY.
Just like, man. Fandom is just a lot to shove at creators, and if they want to step in willingly that's fine, but I really think we should be so so so cautious about throwing them in bodily when they didn't ask for it. Do not rec family dynamic fics to tommy in his youtube comments. Do not tell tubbo to scroll his hashtag on tumblr. Stop telling Phil about your fanfiction in TTS. I"M SURE THE POSTING YOU ARE ALL THINKING OF IS FINE IN TERMS OF TECHNICAL WEIRD STUFF, but like— even the good stuff! Even the good stuff is a lot! "I was having a bad day but I watched some videos with the friendship in it and now I'm okay" is just a lot to drop on someone! Can we allow creators/writers/musicians/actors/authors to opt into this stuff, and not shove it at them?
And for the love of all things good stop sending people porn of themselves.
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Well, Still Salty.
I was cranky yesterday and I thought a good night's sleep would provide some adjustment in perspective, but unfortunately "spending yesterday not on tumblr" also offered perspective and got there first.
Up front: feel free to comment or reblog on this post (replies may be heavily delayed) but if you feel the urge to Like, I'm going to ask you to take one more step and go to https://www.tumblr.com/support, select "feedback" as the category, and enter a line or two about the new dash. It can be as simple as "Your new dash design is difficult to use and is driving people off the site". I'm not asking everyone to do it, but if you're going to Like this post, that would be a helpful action in addition. You can delete any response they send; no reason to expose yourself to the unique combination of incompetence and condescension with which they handle feedback generally.
Also up front: yeah, if I find somewhere else to go and go there, I will certainly let you guys know beforehand, I'm not going to just evaporate. I'll be broadcasting about Tumblr's replacement on Tumblr very heavily. But I can't deny that it is now an active goal of mine to find a viable replacement for this site. (More on this in a moment.) You will always be able to find me on AO3 as copperbadge, or via [email protected]. (More on this in a moment also.)
This kind of thing is why I refuse to fuck with staff now or ever; I don't trust them and I never will. Watching @wip respond to almost every complaint or suggestion with "but that would be really hard" is telling. Whoever is pushing blocks around at Tumblr wants a lucrative site that's easy to code, but lucrative is hostile to community and code is difficult by nature, and when the architecture of the meeting hall is hostile and cheap, people don't stick around.
I've been watching the site as every change made it incrementally worse, from a buggy post window that doesn't allow ease of editing to the new dash (which is the reason I'm writing this in a text window off Tumblr). I genuinely do not think I can use desktop Tumblr like this unless I can install something that will put it back the way it was, and roughly 40% of the content you guys get HAS to come through desktop. It's impossible to do on a phone or so time-consuming it's not worth it. I cannot code Radio Free Monday on a phone; it's a struggle to code it on a single-monitor laptop (I usually write it on my work computer, where I have two monitors). Even writing image IDs on the phone is difficult and something I rarely do. Tumblr is becoming an actively difficult place for me to make content, introducing friction left and right.
But where does one go? I've tried other platforms and they're either worse to use or they don't have the constituency. The problem with a lot of discourse around internet addiction is that it often points out how glued people are to their phones without asking what it is they're doing on those phones. I'm not addicted to social media; I don't doomscroll, I don't care what celebrities have to say, I don't find 140 characters useful or interesting, I don’t find most “funny” videos very interesting. I create a lot of original content for public consumption, significantly more than many social media users, and if that becomes difficult, then the site suffers more than I do. But it's undeniable that social media, and this social media in specific, is where my people are, and yeah, I like seeing you all every day. It makes it difficult to leave even when Tumblr is the best of a bad set of options.
It seems like a lot of the internet, lately, is the best of a bad set of options.
All that said, Tumblr forced a sudden, unwanted, and unchangeable reskin on me a day after I listened to a two-hour podcast about addiction while working on building a newsletter system for my author site. I spent the evening before this happened in contemplation of my relationship to social media and to my readership and how I might alter it to my benefit regardless of whether that's also to Tumblr's detriment. Their poor timing, I suppose. A lot of the theories advanced on the podcast were, to put it kindly, bunk, but one of the suggestions for people questioning their relationship to an activity was a dopamine fast -- removing something in your life that gives you quick but unsustained dopamine hits, so that you can take some time to level out and examine your behaviors. On the one hand, that's not at all how dopamine works; from the jump it's a bad theory. But on the other, pulling back from something you think may be causing you difficulty is generally speaking a good tactic.
Removing myself from Tumblr yesterday was an active process: because I have ADHD and often will forget something exists if I don't systematize my engagement with it, Tumblr is normally pinned to my browser, with the app on my phone's top screen. Removing the app and closing the window meant that while I occasionally reached for Tumblr, it was less frequently than I expected, and the lack of access reminded me why I wasn't there. I missed you guys, but I didn't miss getting distracted from work by my dash, or the pressure to respond to the volume of communication I receive through the site daily. I don't think my use of tumblr as my sole social media has been unhealthy, per se, but certainly yesterday felt both quieter and calmer after I walked away.
But that's a temporary relief, because you are my community, and not only do I not want to leave my community, it's a resource for me. One of the reasons I do things like Radio Free Monday and the weekly Hug on Saturdays is that I try to make sure that resource is reciprocal. Leadership involves service. Leaving would be easy in the short term, but in the long term, leaving my community without having another place to meet it, or another community to go to, would be harmful to both of us. I'm already someone who isolates, and while I have a strong brickspace circle of friends, they fulfill sometimes different needs.
Though I do appreciate the wild vote of confidence from the comments to my last post telling me people would come with me where I went. That means a lot to me. I will attempt to make it either unnecessary or as painless as possible. Just know, I see your faith and friendship and I appreciate it.
Sometimes at my old job I'd be in very tumultuous meetings where a lot was discussed and not much agreed on, and the most useful thing to me was always to say, "What are our next steps? What would you like me to do because of this meeting?" So what are next steps, all this being the case?
First, I'm going to be off Tumblr, mostly, for another couple of days, because clearly I need the break and a few days won't matter too much. Again, I will be back either to continue on the site or to let you guys know, at length and volume, where I'm headed. The former is much more likely.
Second, I'm going to be actively looking for both a widget I can install to reset the dash (recommendations welcome, I currently don't even use xkit) and a wholly new platform that's a realistically viable alternative. Even if the dash gets reset, the shitty post editor is here for good. Attempts to source alternative platforms in the past have taught me that it needs to have a mobile-friendly site or an app, a similar structure to tumblr, and a reasonable chance of actually attracting users. That's a heavy venn diagram unlikely to be fulfilled anytime soon, but I'm now invested in finding it, instead of just passively waiting for it to happen to me (as Tumblr did when it pulled me off LJ).
Third, I do have an email newsletter in the works! I'm just wrestling currently with setting up how people sign up for it. This wasn't meant to be "my main broadcast platform"; it's meant to be a once-monthly email to share book news, targeted at people who aren't on socials or who just really love content from me, I guess. :D The plan was for me to assure Tumblr users that it was not extra content, just select content repackaged into a digest. But it will be one way to ensure that if I'm moving around outside of Tumblr, you'll know about it. I hope to have a link to a signup page soon. (I'm....dealing with some code issues.)
Fourth, I'm going to be combing through the last ten years I've spent here and pulling anything I think is of value into an archive. For now everything will remain here as well, and I'll let you guys know if I think that's going to change, but it's clear that this space is moving only one direction, towards a place I can't exist, and when/if it crumbles I want to have already evacuated what's important.
So there you go. I'll possibly be posting sporadically (the Saturday Hugs are queued six months in advance so that'll happen) but if nothing else and if not sooner, I'll be back full-time next week starting with Radio Free Monday. I appreciate your patience and your kindness in the meantime!
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Shinsou x reader drabble
I needed to get this off my chest so here! I may expand on this later but I'm already writing 2 fics so who knows..
Warnings: none
Pairing: shinsou Hitoshi/Reader
Reader is a program, no pronouns used
Series: My Hero Academia
Not proofread, don't @ me I just watched FreeGuy again and my fav boy would hella have one of those desktop companion things that mess with your screen. But what if sentient.
Shinsou Hitoshi, alone, relentlessly bullied, sniffling as he shuffles down the street and rubbing his scraped elbow. He finds a random ass usb drive on his way home in the back streets leading to his mums apartment one day, and being a kid he saw no problem in trying it out on his computer. He was tech savvy and could probably locate the owner with a bit of digging (snooping). He'd rather do that than hang out with the friends he didn't have anyway. The program loaded onto his computer instantly, starting a character maker of all things, so with a shrug, Hitoshi made you how he envisioned the perfect friend for him, his favourite hair colour, eyes, a cute outfit, and pressed 'create'.
Since he had no friends, he figured why the fuck not try this thing out, seemed harmless enough.
The moment you rendered on his screen you greeted him joyfully and played with his browser windows while he searched your source code on the device only to come up empty for whoever owned or made the program.
A little weary at first, but it didn't take long for him to start talking to you and open up. He was so lonely, and the more you listened the more you could see a warmth of friendship blossoming.
He started to talk to you when he got home from school, telling it about his day, his homework, and as time went on the responses he got from you felt more real, genuine. Whoever wrote this code was pretty damn talented.
You were with him when he got into UA, helped him with homework and assignments and research. You could access the internet and any files on his computer and being unaware of your own sentience, you were happy. Hitoshi always seemed happier when he got home and you could talk his stress away, or just be with him as he gamed in comfortable silence. As he aged, so did you. As his computer upgraded, so did you. The usb always re downloaded you on to the new device.
His first couple relationships and breakups were hard, on him and you. These people must be nuts to hate him for his quirk! No one is more charming than your Hitoshi.
Years pass and he's suddenly an underground hero, he's absent from his home and computer. He misses you and hates how attached he is to this intuitive program he calls his best friend. He wishes.. Maybe even romantic partner, but that's just silly right? He can't stop thinking of you while he's away, and likewise, since he stopped turning his computer off, you craved his company too. You saw how much of a mess the world was in, and a little hacking got you past press propaganda and into the real shit hidden behind the scenes. To know he was out there facing it every day.. Worried you.
When he comes home with fresh bandages and exhausted features, his first move is to sit down at his screen and talk to you. He doesn't like your worried face. Or that you scold him for not sleeping first. He missed the company of someone who got him. Really actually honest to God understood him. He didn't have to act stoic or in charge, he didn't have to be guarded and play a role expected of him by society. Not with you.
As you're comforting him through his mission talk, he leans back in his chair and regards the screen with a lazy smirk, those amethyst eyes watching you, studying you. You'd grown, as his tastes matured so did you. Fuck you were perfect. He runs his hand down his face as for the millionth time he mentally kicks himself at how dumb he must be for falling for a program.
"It's a shame really, days like this.. I wish you were really here. I could kinda use a hug right now.." His voice is deep but rough, strained from exhaustion, and you can't help but smile softly at him, touching the screen as if to return your same want. Shinsou sighs out 3 weeks of undercover work exhaustion and closes his tired eyes.
He never admits to wanting physical affection, but you can always tell. The way he holds himself as if to isolate himself but craving the opposite, the way he talks about how touchy his friends are with each other. Your heart aches for him, but all you can do is watch, and maybe sort his files for him while he sleeps.
As a hidden status bar finally fills to the max, you blink the spots from your vision. Something hurts. Huh, that's new, pain. Your legs hurt. Of course they do they're tangled in a computer chair. And oh, you're on top of Hitoshi, who, despite years of pro hero training, has a look on his face you have never seen. Utter bewilderment.
(Obviously the first thing you do is hug him, and the awkward bastard we know and love can't compute and is red as a tomato)
One can imply the romantic/sexual tension over the following months as you please, because you're a literal ethereal, perfect being, his best friend, and you can finally exist with each other. Touch each other. Comfort each other. But you bet your ass once BAKUGO finds out how you met each other at the next 1a Réunion Xmas party he goes from 'damn you have good taste mindfuck' to never letting him live it down. The dating sim jokes never stop. You don't let it get to you, you give him plenty of Sass back, since you heard all the embarrassing stories from the UA years, you had so, so much ammunition to backup your boyfriend.
The usb is gone and you explore life, living life, with your best friend and now, partner, perfectly made for each other and there whenever you need each other. You experience touch, and taste, and smell for the first time, you show off your computer skills to Shinsou and he finds you a job at his agency, you hold him every night he's home, you still help him with his own work (since you basically learnt the whole heroics course with him), and he lights up when he gets to introduce you to his found family. His mentor included.
(aizawa was quick to deduce you're either the manifestation of a quirk or likely your quirk allowed you to enter digital space but went wrong.) And was quick to assist you in legally obtaining documentation. Not at all a ploy to spend time with you and make sure you were okay for his protoge.
You do find yourself able to re enter computers with your quirk, but the usb never manifests again, you come and go, even on Shinsou phone during missions so you can stay discreetly beside him. You try not to think about what might have happened if no one had found you, if it had been someone with a less pure heart than Shinsou. For this reason, you believed firmly in fate. After all, when shinsou designed you, he didn't have an option to choose your personality or demenor, that was all you.
Like you were just waiting for the right person to make you feel alive.
#shinsou hitoshi#Shinsou Hitoshi x reader#Hitoshi x reader#Shinsou x reader#Drabble#Writing#Mha#Bnha#Fanfic#Sort of#Shinsou just needs a hug#g/n reader#No pronouns used
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could u do a villain having a crush on hero, but not admitting it, and the other villains/henchmen teasing them for it bc they’re all “i am the epitome of darkness and all things evil” but when hero shows up they’re a blushing mess 😭 love ur writing <3
The henchman looked down at their victim. Slowly, they kicked them with their boot over, so that they were lying on their back. Blood was dripping down a wound on their forehead and their eyes seemed to be glassy already. What they hated the most about this job was the cleaning. A crime scene was truly hard to make look like before.
They wrinkled their nose.
“Looking pretty dead, if you ask me.” They turned towards their boss and tilted their head, hopefully signalling them that this meant they could wrap things up.
“We haven’t checked all of the perimeter,” the villain noted. The henchman knew quite well the villain wasn’t the best at concentrating on one thing. However, when it came to the hero, they were easily determined. They let their bloody knuckles crack, one after the other and the henchman wasn’t even sure why they had agreed to help the villain in the first place. This seemed a little too private. Even for them. “I’m curious about the basement.”
“Believe me, no one survived. And even if they did, they’re long gone. No one’s here anymore.” The henchman looked around and their eyes went over the warm bodies. They had to admit, these were quite drastic measures but the villain was…a special person.
“Hm.” Their boss was clearly not satisfied with that answer, so they started fidgeting. For as long as the henchman had known them, they weren’t one to be still. They walked up and down like a panther in a cage, searching through files and for cameras, taking in heavy breaths when they were frustrated, frowning when they got distracted. All of that was pretty much normal but the henchman also knew that they were nervous and moving more than usually.
It was an open secret now that people tried to assassinate the city’s saviour and the villain had tried everything in their power to prevent it.
It had been a long, incredibly and frustratingly long journey to watch the villain fall in love. They were stubborn and apparently not capable of allowing themselves to feel anything besides…rage. So, when the henchman had to watch them flirt with the hero awkwardly, they felt like a kid watching their parents.
Strangely sweet and totally embarrassing. God, what a mess.
So, it didn’t surprise the henchman that the villain tried to eliminate every possible threat.
“Your little hero will surely survive if one or two people attack them,” they said eventually. “They’re pretty tough.”
“This isn’t about the hero.” That made the henchman roll their eyes.
“No, you obviously just like killing random people.” The villain looked up from the papers they were looking through and frowned. It was like dealing with a teenager who was too embarrassed to ask out their crush and the henchman was so unbelievably sick of it.
“How about you look through this old bad boy—” they slapped the PC on the table next to them “—instead of being such a nuisance?”
The henchman grinned.
“I don’t think the hero likes people who insult their friends,” they said as they (reluctantly) sat down and turned on the computer. The desktop was illuminated by a strange blue light, dipping the already dark room into a weird atmosphere.
“Oh, what would you know about what they like…” The henchman could see the villain’s ears turn red and it would have been impressive what kind of power the hero had over them if it wasn’t so pathetic.
“Well, what would you know? You can’t even look them in the eyes when they talk to you.” That one team-up a few months ago had been really strange. An undeniable chemistry had been looming around the hero and the villain. Both got excited about the other’s tech, both technically read each other’s minds when they were creating plans and both were too oblivious to notice the people around them and their ugh-get-a-room-looks. Everyone on the team referred to it as The Incident. At least the villain had been in a good mood for the whole week after that.
“That’s, hey, that’s not true.”
“I don’t blame you. It’s like the whole city is thirsting after them. People definitely have too much time on their hands,” the henchman mumbled as they tried all kinds of password combinations to get into the computer. They looked over to the villain who seemed…determined? To be thinking a little too much?
“But the hero wouldn’t sleep with a fan…right?”
“If it’s too hot in summer, they probably will,” the henchman answered as the computer announced for the third time that their access got denied.
“Ah, forget it.” The villain showed absolutely no appreciation for their joke and somehow that was what did it for the henchman.
“Okay, listen.” The henchman pushed themselves away from the desk and rolled over to the villain with their chair. “You both are incredibly pathetic people and I truly believe that I will throw myself out of a window if I have to watch you flirt with them one more time.”
“…I’m not that bad, am I?”
The henchman sighed.
“They like you. They like you a lot. You obviously care for each other.”
“Debatable,” the villain said and the henchman wanted to pull out their hair.
“Okay,” the henchman said. “I’ll ask them out then.”
The look the villain gave them was indescribable.
#they’re frens#the password was d1cknb@lls btw#writing snippet#heroxvillain prompt#heroxvillain snippet#hero#villain#heroes and villains#hero x villain#heroxvillain#an answer for an ask#request
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