#i see a bastard i fall in love

[backpackingspace]

Okay yes odysseus absolutely fumbled first meeting with penelope. He was an absolute goof. Tripping over himself, blushing, loosing games because penelope waved at him, getting caught mid lie ect ect

But have we considered penelope was equally a mess?

[gojoest]

lowkey had a very scandalous idea earlier this week, still very undeveloped though

[misteria247]

Parole officer Paz and her little bastard charge Bill thoughts coming your way

Okay so Bill's staying with Paz and despite hating his situation he's a nosey little shit and he decides to observe Pacifica in her every day life. Mainly to kill boredom, and he notices a few things that are definitely different than when he'd seen her last time. For one thing she seems to have developed a hording problem. Pieces of scrap metal, gems, little chains and other knick knacks are all scattered around her house. As well as gloves and other useless things. She has books with little pine trees on them and pieces of art with glitter and other sparkling things. It's honestly annoying to him that she has all this stuff in places in her usually clean home. Another thing he notices is she's apparently on better terms with her dad, which is surprising. She always has a scheduled time for phone calls and will be on them for a good while much to his irritation. She also gets other phone calls from people and she's always looking forward to them, not paying much attention to him. (Which drives him up the wall). But the thing that irks him the most is the feeling of deja vu.

It's little things she does, little mannerisms and sayings she speaks. Things like sweet marmalade or what in the sam hell, and he hears it and it makes his teeth grind but he can't figure out why? This goes on for a bit and he grows more and more irritated with it until one day he catches her doing one of her little projects and she's got this expression on her face. One of concentration, with her tongue peeking out unconsciously as she handles a delicate piece of jewelry that it hits him. Because fuck he's seen that same exact expression.

Wayyyy back in the 80s.

On the one person who he can't stand at all.

Mother fucking Specs.

And it clicks and suddenly so much makes so much sense and are you fucking kidding me????? Kind of deal. He never saw this coming and now he's hellbent on finding out how the hell this brat became friends with Fiddleford H. Mcgucket of all people. Bill's not happy at all for the rest of the day, hell the week once he realizes this lol. Basically Fidds haunts his ass even after therapy Bill will never be free of Mcgucket and that to me would be super funny.

[panncakes]

"You are obsessed with Tinn. You're obsessed with his world, with his thoughts. Are you sure you can win him over?" / "I'd like to know what kind of man can make our great lawyer so vunerable."

LAWS OF ATTRACTION (2023)

[beanghostprincess]

Sanji has arachnophobia but like. The type of arachnophobia that makes you have panic attacks even if you only see a little, tiny spider around you. And I just know Usopp would love to have a pet spider. They go to an island and Usopp finds a hurt spider and takes care of it because of course he would, and decides to keep it because of course he would.

So, uh, Sanji doesn't like his boyfriend's pet. It's not like he's going to tell him, because what would he say to him? Sanji hasn't told him his fear of spiders is that bad (he definitely knows, though). And he doesn't want to get in between Usopp's excitement of keeping her. So the spider stays and at least Usopp is aware that Sanji doesn't like her, so he doesn't let her go close to him (she's very polite so it's okay).

But Usopp loves having her around. On his shoulder, his head, his hands-- The guy brings her with him everywhere. And the little thing is smart and somehow seems to understand what Usopp says. They're happy. It's cute. Luffy absolutely loves her. Robin is literally thrilled to study her behavior. And Sanji can't even look at her because he will start hyperventilating the second he notices her.

He'd try to get over his fear of her because Usopp wants them to get along but he won't force it on Sanji. Sanji just knows he wants them to be friends. The spider lives in Usopp's terrarium, which he keeps in his workshop, and so Sanji goes there without telling his boyfriend.

And he tries. He really, really tries. He's shaking when he sees her there, even if she's inside the terrarium. He's barely able to breathe when he tries to get her out of there. Again and again repeating the words Usopp constantly tells him "She's more afraid of you than you are of her" (which is bullshit, in Sanji's opinion) and "She only wants to be your friend! She likes you because I like you" (something extremely romantic but Sanji's brain doesn't process it that way).

He's about to call it a day and try to calm himself down before he actually stops breathing for good. But. You know. The terrarium is on the edge of the table that's already full of Usopp's stuff and the tablecloth is long and- And the terrarium falls and breaks and the spider ends on Sanji's foot-

He doesn't want to do it and it happens in instinct and regrets it immediately, but he kicks the spider. He doesn't know where she lands and he doesn't react immediately to it because he's too focused on trying to learn how to breathe again. He sits on the floor around broken glass and dirt and doesn't realize what he's done until he starts looking for her again. It's not even because of Usopp anymore. She's just a spider. She hasn't done anything but... Existing. She shouldn't be blamed for that. Even if Sanji is afraid of her.

Sanji looks around for her without getting up and finds her alive and well and crawling around avoiding the glass, but also trying to stay away from Sanji as much as possible. That breaks his heart because he might not know what she thinks the way Usopp does, but he knows when someone is scared.

At least she's okay. She's alright. That's a relief.

"I'm sorry, I-" He feels a bit stupid talking to her like this, but he knows she gets it. He hopes she does. "It's not you. You're- He loves you, okay? You're a good girl. I just- I just can't."

He feels his chest tightening when she approaches him ever so slowly, but he knows she won't do anything. His heart doesn't share the same sentiment, but he quiets it down. She looks almost apologetically as if she was the one reassuring Sanji and not the other way around. "It must be tiring." He holds his legs close to his chest to make space for her to walk next to his feet. He feels like he's about to pass out, but she's respectful. And nice. And kind of cute, even. And she's Usopp's. Sanji thinks she tilts her little head confusedly. Thinks, because he isn't quite sure if they do that. "It sucks, right? People being afraid of you all the time. I- I can't say I'm not scared but- But you haven't done anything wrong, little one."

She stays there and doesn't move much for a few seconds, until she ends up crawling up and resting on top of Sanji's shoe. The same way she does when she spends her time on Usopp's shoulder. Sanji isn't that afraid anymore. He's overwhelmed and exhausted and really, really anxious, but he trusts her. Somehow.

Sanji looks around the room, his heart clenching with blame. "I'm sorry- For your home. I'll build you a new one. Well. Not- Not me. I don't know how to. Usopp will. Shit, he'll hate me after this..." But before he can start dwelling on it, the spider moves a little on his leg. And It isn't as bad as he thought. If she's going to murder him in his sleep it's a bit deserved after all. But she won't. He hopes she won't. "You know, you're kind of cute." She tries to crawl up to his knee, but it makes him jump a little. "Don't- Not really ready for, like, upper body touching. Please?" And somehow, she listens and goes back to her position. "Damn, you can understand what I say, can you? Smart girl."

And she doesn't say anything, but Sanji takes it as a yes. Both because he likes talking to her and also because he doesn't want to feel so damn stupid.

A few hours later, Usopp goes back to his workshop and finds Sanji asleep on the floor, lucky he didn't touch any shards of glass, and the spider rests on his foot happily. Or at least it looks like that for Usopp.

He'll ask what happened later, for now, it's time to clean the mess without waking up his boyfriend. He's been brave enough for a day.

[lupisspiss]

Hannibal Lecter, everybody!

Yes, he is sexy, yes, he is a cannibal, I see no contradictions here

Would smooch his sly little face and honestly if he bit off my tongue (book reference boyss) that's fair game and I deserve it

Not amazing quality, and it's hard to see the shading but but like maybe I'll take a better picture tomorrow

[p4nishers]

i need content of codywan that just started working together like the first few months where their dynamic is cody barely resisting the urge to strangle his general and obi wan being like. already fucking head over heels for him.

like cody was expecting someone highly impressive based on his records so he obviously is excited to work with him cause his batchmates already met him on kamino and genosis and they all liked him which was, looking back, probably a prank on codys sanity and his bastard gremlin vode were absulately dying laughing at him. anyway so he obviously has high expectations and then this slutty "hello there" mf turns up with no self-preservation whatsoever, a feral demon child of a padawan, half the republic tailing him for every bullshit imaginable and beef with EVERY SINGLE SITH EVER???? WHICH HE SOLVES BY ???? FUCKING FLIRTING WITH THEM????? so you can imagine codys not having a great time.

meanwhile, obi wan daydreams about cody constantly. draws up their wedding invitations before even meeting him. praises him every opportunity he gets. kicks his feet and giggles about codys sarcastic comments ABOUT HIM while being in a room with CODY. stops talking in the middle of his sentence when he spots cody across the room and waves at him with the biggest smile possible. sets up regular sparring practices with the vode just so he MIGHT have an opportunity to be close to cody. labels the time when cody accidentally fell on him because of an explosion and touched his lips for 0.00001 milliseconds as their first kiss and gossips about it to quinlan. calls bant regularly to update her on everything cody does ever. buys every kind of tea and caf he can afford as an excuse to talk to cody and go into his courters. flirts with cody 24/7 and blushes tomato red when cody smirks at him and thinks about it so much he constantly walks into walls and tables and chairs and shinies and. breaks a table after cody stubs his toe into it. passes the fuck out when cody carries him this one (1) time, not bc of blood loss or anything simply too much attraction. constantly searches the force for codys signature even when they're not in the same system. calls him disgustingly sappy petnames in every other sentence. corners all of codys batchmates and asks thousands of questions about cody bc he cannot get them out of the man for the life of him and yes, wolffe, he absulately will die without knowing codys favorite color what kind of question is that. cody smiles once a month and obi wan thanks him everytime. cody hands him back his lightsaber for the first time and he proposes, loudly, cody ignores him completely and walks away. convinces anakin and ahsoka to drop "subtle" hints that he would be a good husband.

and everyone around them is having the time of their life watching codys right eye twitch whenever he's in a room with kenobi long enough while the man himself doesn't take his eyes off the commander during the entire 4 hour meeting and blushes everytime cody looks at him without a fail. cody barely refrains from throwing his datapad at his general when he suggests some self-sacrificing bullshit again.

it's truly like:

obi wan, beaming and eyes possibly gleaming with adoration: hello there, cody. how are you today?

cody, grinding his teeth together: fine, sir. wanted to talk to you about this report cause it's seems to be mistaken. surely, you're not thinking of blowing yourself up just so that TWO man, who are not even in any immediate danger whatsoever, can escape. right?

obi wan, brightening even further bc he loves their daily "banter": oh but of course, my dear, they're valuable men and anyway, i promised anakin he'd get to use the explosives this time.

cody, right eye starting to twitch horribly: right, of course, stupid of me to ask. one more thing, general, you wouldn't decommission me for anything i do, would you, sir ?

obi wan: what– darling, of course not. why would you–

cody: alright then [punches obi wan then walks away]

obi wan:

obi wan: i'm so in love with that man.

it's said that to this day obi wan still giggles in the most inappropriate times about that punch because cody was SO HANDSOME YOU DONT GET IT MACE THE LIGHT HIT HIM JUST RIGHT AND–

anyway codys hatred lasts till obi wan saves rex by putting himself in danger and when they get back, both bruised and bloody but amazingly alive and obi wan smiles at him like he always does with rex draped across his scarred shoulder, something in cody just settles and thinks. oh. oh. so this is what bly was talking about.

[maybemeursault]

look okay it's bad to erase marvin's canonical sexuality and the fact that She Likes Men but i literally genuinely with all my heart think that she is a trans woman

[blueberryspyder]

You know, sometimes I’ll think “oh I really liked reading as a child but there weren’t any books that really molded my personality.”

And then I’ll look at a self insert character I’ve made and realize it’s literally a fucking reskin of Sydney Carton from A Tale of Two Cities.

[ambreiiigns]

btw rick and morty makes me insane bc no one Gets it people who don't wanna watch it (like me! before my brother made me watch it in exchange of him watching sk8 the infinity w me!) are like ugh problematique bad #edgy dark humor adult cartoon for reddit bros 🙄 but then the reddit bros who watch it & became the main representatives for its audience are like haha pickle rick wooo you need high iq I Relate To Rick Sanchez Deeply and he's like the joker to them and he's a king and an icon of alpha males somehow???? but like. neither of those people understand that rick and morty is actually about Nobody Exists On Purpose. Nobody Belongs Anywhere. Everybody's Gonna Die. Come Watch TV?

[wesavegotham]

Obviously I have no idea where Tom Taylor will be going with his Dark Knights of Steel elseworld, but the first book pushes the idea that Bruce, despite being a bastard (he's the illegitimate son of late Queen Martha and Jor-El in this) should inherit the throne one day since he's the only one related to the original monarchs of the kingdom, and I can't help but imagine Bruce sitting one the throne one day and he swears to himself to only sire "trueborn children" so no biologically related child of his would ever suffer from growing up as a bastard like he did...and then Damian is introduced to him.

[fanishjuli]

sometimes in life it'll be 2am and you'll be scrolling tumblr and thinking about azicrow and be suddenly struck with a very deep longing to reread some of your favourite @ineffablefool fics because you're carving the Soft Zone and you know no-one writes it quite like him. so this is my PSA today: go read Jack's fics if you haven't already, they Will improve your life, no need to thank me

[chongoblog]

It's Valentines Day and since I'm single I have been thinking about my OC's and how I ship them and I might want to Gush about them, so I'm putting up a short-length poll to determine the level of priority for each one. I'll put a brief summary of each one in the tags if you want some context to influence your decision

[elibeeline]

Idk if its the hormones but im emotional over soup again

[casuallivi]

I'm on my little mission to give some love and gratitude to my favorite fic writers because you're all amazing. You are authors who don't get paid for your great works. You are the reason I am still in this fandom. 💕💗🤍

You write fics where sometimes I'm not sure if the concept would be something for me but i end absolutly loving it.

My top three stories from you are "Three is a party" because i am simply girl and i love smut. I definitely wasn't expecting a threesome with Azriel's shadow resulting in a foursome with the Seer. This was hot as hell 🔥

Second would be "Teenlogy" because again wasn't sure if i would like the concept but excuse how can i not fall in love with a young Azriel simping on his Elain but then also Elain raving about him to Naula after their date was everything.

Third would be "The Midnight Kiss". I absolutly, totally, utterly love this romcom. I think I've read it 4 times already.

Oh oh oh, thank you so much!

The Midnight Kiss was a surprise for me as well, I think is the longest thing I have going on!!! With the grace of the goddess of inspiration I'll finish this one, amen.

I love all the interactions around elriel tag, but knowing people out there enjoy my writing enough the read it again will always blow my mind!

Ps: I have been told before that I choose unusual plots... Is it me? Am I the drama? Lmao. Thanks, I guess

[hauntingblue]

Ace still standing there. Isn't this enough I wonder