#i say that and it's true but also my art consistently gets about 10 likes lmao

[tamahoshio]

I drew and got this far coloring last night, hoping to finish tonight. I forgot to post a streaming link here last time, but I'll try and remember this time!

My streams are all talking bc I'm bad at picking music that won't get copyright striked into silence, so please do feel free to chat when the time comes

[cerastes]

I picked up Qiubai from the current banner and know absolutely nothing about her. She worth leveling and if so is there anything I should know about her skills/talents and how best to use them?

Qiubai is one of those units whose banner was very untimely, smack between Lin and Chongyue's limited banner, and the Monster Hunter collab limited banner (not to mention that afterwards, there was Absolute Beast Ines to account for, and a bit farther down the road, fan favorite Muelsyse and Ho'olheyak), so a lot of people decided to skip her, making her one of the rarer Operators.

But I am not a lot of people, and my main reason is "She's Fucking Cool, Your Honor".

I think she's a damn good Operator worth investing in. The main criticism levied against her, besides the unfortunate timing of her banner, is that she's Not Thorns, which is like looking at a successful and highly skilled physicist and saying that he's shit because he's not Albert Einstein. The actual criticism I would levy against her, as someone that uses her all the time, is that she does require a bit of presence of mind to use her due to the nature of her Talents requiring procs if she's not supported appropriately, and her S3 having a rather long downtime.

So, Talents (E2 no pots): First is whenever she attacks enemies affected by Slow or Bind, she deals 40% of her Attack as extra Arts damage. This is a good extra bit of juice you can squeeze out of every attack, as well as a means to deal with high Defense powerhouses. Second is that attacks have a 20% chance to Bind for 1.5 seconds. Attacks that proc this 20% apply Bind first and then count the attack, meaning that every time she procs her Second talent, her first Talent is also activated. This is true, to my knowledge, to all Operators with similar effects (such as enemies receiving extra damage when Stunned in her range; the Stunning hit benefits from this extra damage instead of having to follow up to start benefiting). Her attack interval is 1.3, meaning that whenever she procs Talent 2, she'll usually get two free Talent 1 procs in, "usually" because sometimes the enemy is actually at the edge of her range or just wandered off, and the projectile doesn't land in time.

S1 is your least used Skill, probably, but it's not useless: It's Bind centric, and Binds the enemy for 2.5 (3 M3; M3 numbers in parenthesis from hereon) seconds, followed by a small AoE explosion of 240% (300%) Arts damage once it expires. It is Automatic and Attack Charged on a low limit of 5 SP (4 SP) so it reliably gets fired off. It's honestly not a bad skill, it's just that her S2 and S3 exist.

S2 changes her range into a single file 4 tiles forward and immediately slashes all these tiles to deal 240% (300%) Arts damage and enemies in this slashed ground are Slowed throughout the duration, 5 seconds. QB gets an steroid of +90% (+140%) Attack for these 5 seconds, and when the skill expired, the initial slash explodes once again for 240% (300%) Physical damage. The slash itself CANNOT hit air units, but QB's regular attack can, be wary of this. This Skill is your go-to for general use when you just need to kill regular enemies and elites, since it gives her phenomenal true AoE capabilities, a strong steroid, and since enemies are Slowed in the slashed area, she will proc Talent 1 every time while Skill is active (against ground units, that is). All of this on a very good timer of 12 SP (10 SP), making this skill's strength its ability to reliable, consistently use it: It's ALWAYS ready when you need it, and on longer fights against very strong enemies that you need to stall for a bit, you can use it several times.

S3 changes her range to one extra side tile forward, changes damage type entirely to Arts, Talent 1 is augmented by 1.5x (2x), gives QB +45% (+55%) Attack, Lord ranged attack penalty is negated, QB attacks 2 extra targets, so 3 total per attack, and each attack animation she does gives her 13+ ASPD for the duration of the skill, stacking up to 6 (8) times. This is QB's burst skill to deal with numerous strong enemies or even just one strong enemy, to be honest. She'll become a machine gun of Arts damage, and since she's attacking so fast, she'll likely keep proccing Talent 2 repeatedly, meaning, even more damage from Talent 1, which in itself also gets augmented. The sole weakness of this skill is that it exists on a 55 SP charge, unlike her very fast S1 and S2. It lasts 30 seconds. I recommend Mastering this skill first because its gains are actually very good, due to the Attack bonus and the Talent 1 augmentation coming into play for a very drastic increase in damage.

S2 is true AoE so you use it to deal with many enemies, S3 is Arts burst so you use it to delete strong enemies. You want to pair QB up with people that can Slow or Bind enemies so you can constantly enjoy Talent 1 bonuses instead of relying on Talent 2 procs. Her Best Match is Suzuran S3 for QB's S3, since that'll just make her become absurdly devastating, but for less bursty options (Suzuran's S3 also has long downtime), you can use Angelina S2, Podenco S2, Ethan, Dorothy S2, and other such Decel Binders and Operators with consistent ability to Slow or Bind. KEEP IN MIND: It needs to be the status effect known as Slow, capitalized, not just any slow effect! Meaning, Ch'en the Holungday, for example, who spreads movement speed slowing areas with her Skills, DOES NOT combo with QB for Talent 1 purposes. It needs to be the status known as Slow (which reduces enemy movement speed by 80%).

QB's main strengths are the ability to vary damage types, synergize well with support units to hose out great damage, have reliable true AoE that can be spammed, and good burst when that is necessary, further improved by synergizing well with a popular and strong Operator (Suzuran). QB's main drawbacks are that her S3 exists on rather long downtime, and that against highly Resistant enemies, her Skills will not fare particularly well, as they all have an Arts damage component to them (you'll mainly want to use S2 here, since her steroid affects her Phys damage output and the expiration explosion is Phys).

Overall, a very fun and strong Operator! I recommend investing in her, yeah.

[wishjacked]

Happy #WebcomicDay!! :D

This year we're celebrating the process of making pages... so below the cut I've got a bunch of pictures sharing how I go about making pages of my evil post-apocalyptic workplace sitcom, Cargo!! :D

So! My process!!

Writing-> I think sometimes there's pressure to "write" your comic a certain way, I see people talking about script format and stuff a lot. That really doesn't work for me, though! I write my "first draft" script in short scenes on scrap paper, in whatever order they come to me. Sometimes a scene will just be one or two lines, and then a little description of what I want to happen in the rest of the scene.

Later I type the scene up, and write the "connective tissue" that fits between the disjointed scenes so they all flow together like they ought. I don't do page breaks or even character tag or action notes hahahaha I like it to be as BASIC as POSSIBLE so it's easy to edit. And since I'm the person drawing it I can almost always remember who's supposed to be saying what lmao

I edit a lot, but the most major editing is also probably the last bit... when I letter my pages usually I realize "they would never say that" and so I end up rephrasing everything. My art brain is sometimes waaaaay better at phrasing hahaha. Like you can see in the finished page for this script I rewrote like basically all of it, and actually went back to the original "sketch" script in a lot of places.

Thumbnailing-> my thumbs are really big, I draw them with markers on printer paper and keep them in a binder!! I like to thumb scenes in batches and I also usually write my dialogue on them, just so I can read through them before (and while) I draw to get a feel for how the pacing works. :)

Sketching-> OH sketching is also really hard for me! I don't have a good visual imagination so it's really important for me to make sure I have good references. Last year I was especially focusing on setting.

My comic is set in Florida. I'm lucky in that I used to live there and still go back to visit sometimes, so sometimes I can gather my own reference images! But more often I start on Google Maps or Zillow, trying to find buildings that have interesting features or the right kind of "look" for what I want. I'll also look up other interesting elements, my comic is set in a post-apocalypse and I'll research home gardening and things like that which people would probably have.

For example, in this set in chapter 7, I used Google Maps images, photo references of indoor hydroponic gardening, and like, 90's-00's hacker computer setups haha. Also my BFF Roomstyler.com, where you can make 3d house interiors haha!!

Lineart-> I LOVE lineart it is my favorite!!!! I sketch and ink two pages at a time, and it usually takes somewhere between 10-12 hours to do both steps.

I actually think my art looks best when it's just lineart... but I think my STORY is better with color, like it makes it clearer and easier to read and it has a better atmosphere HAHA.

Colors-> I think it usually takes me 4-6 hours to do 2 pages (I haven't timed myself as consistently as I time my lineart and sketching). I have a big file with small copies of my previous pages that I color drop from, and my characters are all flats only. The limited palette that I use is also really handy, it streamlines coloring a LOT.

Finishing Touches-> aka I steal mercilessly from my one true love, my internet home, the beautiful and blessed Wikimedia Commons

I put lots of overlay layers on my art! I like textures so having some strange little textures or pictures on things makes my art feel a lot more finished to me.

And finally my very most favorite ✨finishing touch✨ is the bright colored/patterned gutters that I use. Here are some of my favorites that I've made and used in the past!

And that's all!! I hope you guys have a very happy Webcomics Day and find lots and lots of wonderful new things to read!!!

[camelotfallen]

Karp, your Saber Alter roleplay is like watching someone put the “try” in try-hard. It’s like you saw the word "dark" in the Fate lore and decided, “Yep, that’s my entire personality now.” We get it, she’s edgy and angsty, but do you really need to make every post sound like she’s one bad day away from releasing her own black metal album? There’s a fine line between staying true to the character and writing dialogue so stiff it feels like it was copy-pasted from a 2005 DeviantArt OC profile.

You lean so hard into the "dark knight" aesthetic that it’s a wonder Saber Alter hasn’t just collapsed under the weight of all that edge. Every interaction reads like she’s contractually obligated to remind everyone how tragic and menacing she is. God forbid anyone tries to have a normal conversation with her—your muse responds with the emotional range of a brick dipped in motor oil. Lighten up! Not every post needs to feel like the literary equivalent of a storm cloud.

Let’s talk about her combat posts for a second. Why does every fight scene feel like it’s trying to win an award for Most Over-the-Top Edgy Description? We get it—she’s powerful and dark, but do her attacks really need to sound like they’re destroying the fabric of reality every single time? Sometimes less is more, but apparently, that concept doesn’t exist in your roleplaying dictionary. Saber Alter could sneeze in your posts, and you’d describe it like it tore open a void in the universe.

Also, can we address the fact that she’s somehow managed to have zero personality outside of being angry or brooding? I’m convinced that if someone handed her a puppy, she’d just glare at it and monologue about the futility of joy. It’s like you’re allergic to giving her any dimension beyond “tragic anti-hero,” and it’s honestly impressive how much you’ve doubled down on keeping her as one-note as possible. At this point, even her sword probably feels emotionally neglected.

In conclusion, your Saber Alter roleplay is the most “edgelord” thing I’ve ever seen, and that’s saying something considering this fandom. You’ve turned her into a caricature of darkness that’s so over-the-top it’s practically comedic. But hey, at least you’re consistent! If nothing else, you’ve mastered the art of making a character with endless potential feel like she’s been written into a corner—and somehow, that’s its own kind of talent.

Alright, homework grading time.

So, first things first. I know you're probably someone i know with some familiarity, so, I get the Anon Mask. Don't want people givin you flak for this, even though frankly, the fact you're on anon to begin with makes me give less than a rats shit about whatever it is you're saying. -10 points, not off to a good start.

Second, I can tell you're familiar with the surface level of what I do here. Congrats, you can skim. Good on ya. You've also shown me that you also don't actually understand Salter like you're claiming I do. The girl is an 'Edge-Lord' on a surface level purely, and I dont blame you for not being able to look past it. For all intents and purposes, as far as FGO is concerned, she's just that: an angry, gluttonous one off joke. Edgy Artoria. Its how she's presented in most media you find her in. And in truth, theres really not all that much to work with her. She's just Artoria whos been corrupted by the Grail. Which means what you can say about Salter you can say about Artoria, because they're still the same person but without the restraint.

Third: you have not actually read the growth of her as a character under my writing. A lot, if not most of it, has been done so with one @miraruinada and my other good pal an writing partner, Vibe. She's grown from the archetype she was into an actual individual with thoughts, wants, hopes and dreams. She's thrown away her crown in both a literal and metaphorical sense and broken away from the chains of obligation and duty that come with it. Salter has learned to open up, in her own way, to others. Is she gonna be personal and friendly to everyone? Of course not. Because she's never been allowed to be an actual person (which is canon motherfucker~) or feel or understand others because she had to be a King before absolutely anything else. Her life was constant war and campaigning, backstabbing from her sister, betrayal, an insurmountable wall of opposition handed to her by her father and his own colossal fuck ups that she still fought tooth an nail against.

Of course she's gonna be emotionally stunted and have to grow. Of course her conversations are going to be fucking weird. Have you even played Artoria's route in FSN? Hell, that whole thing was about humanizing her again. Salt's having to go through that herself, but with the extra weight of her own personal timeline compounding onto the fact.

Fourth: i have not, in fact, wrote a single proper fight scene as Salter in my tenure on this blog. The only time i've even come close to that would probably be her lashing out on my previous blog, which i assume is where you came from to get that kind of idea. Besides, have you even seen Heaven's Feel movies or her animations? Every swing she does to begin with is maximum effort with full intent to kill behind every blow. She's a powerhouse in a five foot nothing body that no diffed Heracles in Heaven's Feel and obliterated a meteor in Shinjuku.

Fifth: You really dont read my posts, at all dood. One look, again, at her interactions with @miraruinada would prove that. Her interactions with @avaloniamagus's Merlin, whom she regards as her proper father figure. @rake-rake's Oberon, with whom she's form a bond with, learning from his dramatics and finding comfort in family that she never knew. I could go on, and on, and on, but, that'd be givin you more time an attention than i've already given, or that you deserved my guy.

in review:

Suck my fat girl nuts an go touch some grass my guy.

[perdvivly]

Trying to sell @ante--meridiem on BJJ

So, there are a few caveats here, and a few questions you might want to ask yourself before deciding to take advice from anybody (myself included) on which martial arts you might want to do.

Firstly, what are you hoping to get out of it? Secondly, what do you realistically have access to?

There are a bunch of different answers to the first question and they suggest different martial arts to try. You might be interested in self defence, you might be interested in discipline, you might be interested in community, you might be interested in fitness, the list goes on and on, and the truth is probably some combination thereof.

The second question also matters for obvious reasons. Bjj is great but, realistically speaking, it also attracts a certain type of personality that can make environments pretty toxic. A lot of bjj gyms are really good. The ones near you might not be so good, and that's not a reflection on the practice itself per se, but it is a realistic factor in your decision making process.

I'll start off with some things that bjj will not offer you and if you are interested in them you might want to choose a different practice.

Tradition - If you're after a long lineage of master/ sensei/ shifu/ guru whatever, you're not going to find it here. The sort of "you must call me by this title of honour" is indicitive of the sort of toxicity I mentioned earlier. I'm not a fan, my instinctive response is to say "and would my lord like me to gargle his balls while I'm at it?" and this is why I hope I'm never summoned to court. But moving on. Other people do like these sorts of relationships and find a lot of meaning in them. They are not common in bjj circles. You probably will see teachers list who they got their black belt under going back to either Helio Gracie or Mitsuyo Maeda, and this is a sign that they know what they're talking about on paper - the real sign you want to look for though is if they can actually do the things they say they can.

Quick Progression - This is a relative term. The long and the short of it is: bjj only has 5 belts (this isn't true - but for practical purposes, it's true) and you get one of them just by showing up. Belt progression is White -> Blue -> Purple -> Brown -> Black. Compare this to Taekwondo which, if I recall correctly goes White -> Yellow Stripe -> Yellow -> Green Stripe -> Green -> Blue Stripe -> Blue -> Red Stipe -> Red -> Black Stripe -> Black. So there are at least twice as many belts, and moreover you pass through them a lot quicker. The average time it takes to get a black belt in Taekwondo, or at least the time you can roughly expect to get one with consistent practice is about 3 years. The time it takes in bjj is 10 years. This lack of material reward can be disincentivising. It's not uncommon to feel like you're hitting a plateau (often, safe, and extremely well).

The whole picture of martial arts - bjj is a grappling art. And it's (in my biased opinion) the best grappling art, but it's not more than that. Realistically, if you want to Be Good At Fighting, you need to know how to strike, and how to handle strikes. Bjj will not teach you this, because it is not in its wheelhouse.

But now onto the what it will offer you and if you are interested in these things, I don't think there's another practice that does them as proficeintly.

No striking!! - A drawback if you want the full picture, yes. A massive win if you don't want brain damage.

Best by test - So, I'm well aware that this is the empiricism circle of tumblr.edu, and that was sort of the goal of the original UFC. Or the idea behind its inception was: hey, what if we just put all the fighting styles against each other in a real combat scenario with as few rules as possible? Who would actually win? And it turns out, bjj would actually win. Now, it's more complicated than that, and as the years go by there are layers of nuance that need to be added. But basically, grappling is almost certainly a majority of the picture of complete martial arts, and bjj is still the best grappling practice on offer.

Competence - I expect you'd get this from any martial art and it is not unique to bjj. But oh my god. It's so cool when people can just do the things they say they can. It feels like magic. One of the real selling points of having such a slow progression is that you don't find legitimate higher belts who are not legitimately insanely good at what they do. This is, unfortunately, something I found with Taekwondo... There are black belts who you could probably beat in a fight just by being much stronger or quicker than them. A taekwondo black belt just means a lot less than it might.

You don't have to hold back - no striking means that when you spar, it's pretty much a full on real match. You get to know, intimately, whether you would have won or lost if you were really trying - because you are really trying. This does a great job of disolving a lot of ego because, more often than not, you will lose. You're new, you're going against people who know much more than you, you're just not going to win for the first few months, and that's okay. But the feeling of, "hey, this guy just beat me, and if that was for real, I know deep down that there is nothing I could do to stop him" is a feeling that takes a while to get to grips with. If you can experience that in a safe and controlled setting, it's an experience I recommend.

This is as close to a david and goliath sport as can exist in martial arts - take this with a grain of salt. The best bjj player in the world is Gordon Ryan who is a 6'2" 110kg steroided up brick wall of a man. It turns out that being bigger and stronger is just pretty much always helpful in a combat scenario. But bjj is as close to a real reversal of that as there is in combat sports. The smaller opponent really can win in these situations! Now, I'm 6'0", strong, fairly capable, but I went to an open mat once where a 5'2" girl tapped me out what must have been 10 times in a row with barely any effort. This is where the art comes in. It doesn't matter how big or how strong someone is, if their brain can't get oxygen, they go to sleep.

Anyway, I feel like I've ranted enough here. Do bjj! Talk to me about it. If you have any other questions I'd be really happy to get into them with you.

[mysticsparklewings]

Obscutober 2024 Day 23: Sylvan 🌲

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Sylvan (adj.)

consisting of or associated with woods; wooded

pleasantly rural or pastoral

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I think this one turned out pretty cute, especially since I don’t normally draw trees that often and didn’t really know what I was doing. 🙌

What’s *not* cute is how late I got started on it, now leading me to post in a rush. 😅

Click the "Keep Reading" and we'll talk a bit more about my general thoughts/process. ✨

⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

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For the second time this month: Now circling back to do this description properly, after speed-running to go ahead and just get it posted without one. 🫠

But unlike Day 19, today's supreme delay in getting started wasn't rooted in distraction, but rather a mixture of some IRL things demanding my attention (nothing serious that you Sparklers need to worry about, otherwise I'd elaborate), and good ol' procrastination. 😅

I think instead of over-hyping the concept like I did with Day 8, I stumped [ha] myself by..."under-hyping"? Whatever word/phrase I'm looking for that would mean "expecting it to be difficult, in a bad way."

"Sylvan" made the list because I like the word itself—It reminds me of Sylveon from Pokémon, one of my favorites. And even though the definition has nothing to do with such things, the word puts images of Tinkerbell-esque fairies in my head, which is a very pleasant experience. [And now you know where the teeny-tiny butterflies came from. 😆

Why exactly then I was dreading working on this mandala so much when I was reminded it was the next one up, even I still don't really understand. 🤔

And I'd love to sit here and say that once I actually got started that I was worried for nothing, but it wouldn't be entirely true. Granted, it wasn't nearly as bad as my subconcious was insisting it would be, but it definitely wasn't what I would call easy, either.

For starters: It was weighing on me that I didn't want to re-hash too much of things I'd done on Day 10 or Day 19, and in hindsight having all three of those words on the same prompt list was probably not the best idea. 😅 I don't think it's as bad as some same-y/too similar words I've spotted on other prompt lists before, but if I had thought it out further when I was putting the list together, I probably would've forced myself to choose between "Sylvan" and "Rampike," and then go for some other non-tree-related word to fill the space. [Feuillemort most likely would've gotten to stay either way, though; It's easily my favorite word of the three.]

Then there's also the matter that I've been learning the hard way with these mandalas—And again with Day 19 in particular—that I'm not very good at "stacking" and overlapping motifs; My brain much prefers to keep them clean and separate, especially with the more doodle-y ones. But to really get the forest-y look I wanted, I had do at least a little bit of that here.

What I did do turned out nice, I think. I'm particularly pleased that I thought to include a little tree stump as that stage. It felts a bit unexpected, and I think it kind of ironically does more to paint this as more of a forest picture and less of just a tree one, if that makes any sense. Plus it kinda saved me some trouble because the one other idea I had to fill those smaller spaces with drawing tiny stand-ins for flowers, and that would've taken much longer to get something I was happy with.

To that end, I did my level best to make the various tree "types" included look different from each other, but there was a limit to how much patience I had to try and figure out exactly how to do that, as was as I didn't do too much experimenting because I did get a late start and therefore did not have a ton of time in case said experimenting didn't pan out. Still, some experimenting was had.

The first couple of trees were okay because they were first and could be very stereotypical in nature, with some swirly bits for good space-filling measure. The third and fourth were more difficult. [Take a wild guess which one was the fourth design since it had the roughest time. 🙃] At one point I tried a kind of Bonsai-inspired thing, but I couldn't get the leaves into a form I was happy with, and without that, the more Bonsai-looking trees seemed horribly out of place next to the others.

So that's how we ended up with that odd-looking thing with the swirl brands that might look vaguely butterfly-ish. Since I was having trouble translating a more "realistic" tree design into the piece, I just made something up! 😆

After all that, I knew the coloring phase had it's work cut out to try and top everything off in a satisfying way. I don't think this one is as reliant on the colors to bring everything together as Day 21—And in fact I don't think "bring together" would be the best description of what it's doing anyway—but I think it is helping "sell" the forest idea a lot more than if there was no color.

I did make some effort to not make the palette too much like Day 8, Day 12 or Day 17, though. It was a little tempting to make it intentionally more like Day 8 and it definitely still came out bearing a passing resemblance, but my instinct was to keep them more separate and stuck by that. And I stand by that decision now as the right one.

As you Sparklers might have guessed, this is in fact another one where I think if I'd had more time to think through what I was doing and experiment, it may have come out better. But At least I am still decently happy with what I did get out of it; I did actually really like the center with the trunks a lot—a weird feeling since it's mostly a tan-brown halo—and there's nothing I feel is expressly "wrong" with the rest of it. It's just maybe missing a little extra "oomf" I just wasn't able to give it today.

I'm hoping tomorrow's will be a little bit of a different story based on the prompt—if I haven't misread the list again, it'll be another of the ones I've been looking forward to—but there's only one way to find out, and nothing is guaranteed!

See you Sparklers then; Hopefully early enough in the evening I can actually post the art with the description and not have to come back and do it later for a third time. 😅 👋

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See the Prompt List

Artwork © me, MysticSparklewings

Obscutober Concept Inspired by nikolas_tower

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⭐️ Like My Art and Want to see more of it? Here's All My Links! ⭐️

[mythological-mayhem]

NEW INTRO!

Hi, my name is Shiloh, and this is my mythology blog!

Important things about me:

-First. I am a minor. I am not disclosing my age here (and please don't ask me to), but I will say that I am a teenager. I add this because this will contribute to several of my rules on this blog, but because I am also mutuals with 18+ people and I want to give them a choice if they want to follow me after learning I am under 18 or not. I'm sorry for not mentioning this before, mutuals who are reading, but I am in fact a minor. (I also ask that mutuals who do know my age to not mention it here).

-I am a demiromantic asexual, and supportive of the LGBTQIA+ community. DNI if homophobic or transphobic.

-I write. A lot. I might never mention it on my blog otherwise, so you get a fun fact about me either way :)

-I'm also an artist. True, not a very accomplished one, but I'm an artist nevertheless and yes, I will occasionally post my art on here or share it with my mutuals.

This is my blog for reblogging things, chatting with moots, and shitposts: @rainbow-mayhem

This is my blog for writing stuff: @writers-mayhem

Rules on this blog:

-No NSFW. As stated before, I am a minor and asexual. Just don't send me NSFW stuff and NSFW blogs please do not follow me, the topic of NSFW is just an uncomfortable topic for me.

-You can submit or send me an ask about any myth or mythology! I might not know all of them, but I promise you I will look into all of them, and who knows? Maybe you're the one who'll inspire me to (finally) start learning about another mythology!

-If it's not NSFW, feel free to send me asks! I love respectful asks about mythology and 100% of the time I WILL absolutely geek out over them. Have no guilt in interacting via asks, I really appreciate them!

-That being said. If you're not my mutual or someone I know personally, please don't DM me. If you're a mythology/other blog that I have interacted with/had a civilized conversation with before, you can go ahead and dm me! :D I promise it's not me trying to be cold, I'm just not very comfortable with random people sliding into my DMs.

-DNI if: Racist, homophobic, transphobic, pedophile, zoophile, ableist or if you support/condone any of these behaviors. I don't want you on my blog, please leave.

Anyway, a little about this blog: Primarily Aztec mythology. If you want a blog that posts a lot about Aztec mythology, feel free to explore mine! I have a three-year long obsession with Aztec mythology and I honestly love it and to talk about it, it's so cool.

I do also do Greek mythology, JTTW, and a little bit of Norse and Egyptian!

My primary posting type is head canons or incorrect quotes.

Stuff to expect:

-I do in fact reblog things that I believe are funny, need to be heard, or align with my own personal beliefs.

-I have amazing mutuals, so you'll certainly see a lot of reblog-chain conversations with them! They're great people and if you like my blog, go check out some of theirs.

-I will mention some role-play stuff because I am in a Tumblr rp (concerning mythology, in fact).

-I do not post consistently, and do not have a queue! That being said, I love posting on here and will try to do it frequently (but please don't pressure me to do so. I have a life outside of Tumblr and if I ever take breaks, it's because stuff is happening there).

If you want to be mutuals, just ask! 9 times out of 10, I will follow you back, unless you are a racist, homophobic, transphobic, etc (basically DNI list) or an NSFW blog. I don't mind adults following me, but unless we're mutuals, generally try to stay out of my DMs, thanks!

Wow, this was long haha. Congrats if you made it all the way, here's a cookie 🍪

Anyway back to the mythology brainrot! 😁 It's nice having you here and I hope to see you around!!

[girl4music]

If I did a TOP 20 favourite 'BtVS' episodes,... a good majority of them would be from Season 5.

It has a lot of bangers. 'The Body', 'The Replacement' 'Blood Ties', 'Real Me', 'No Place Like Home', 'Buffy vs. Dracula', 'Family', 'Fool For Love' 'Checkpoint', 'Crush', 'Tough Love', ‘Spiral', 'The Weight Of The World', 'The Gift’. These are all fantastic episodes!

I also love the overall arc/plot. I love the character representation and development of both new characters and the ones we know already. The Scooby Gang is at their absolute strongest. I love the directing and writing and acting. I love that everything that happens in it is completely consistent and cohesive. Well put together in a neat little bow with its main themes and storylines. I don't think I have a single negative thing to say about Season 5. And that's saying a lot because I critique the fuck out of my favourite TV shows. You don't even know. I go HARD when it comes to art/ entertainment in general.

And then there's Glory... like I love Dark Willow. You all know that. But Clare Kramer as Glory is excellent!

Season 5 is peak Buffy. The very best of 'BtVS'.

What's more to say? I could watch it over and over and over again and never get tired of it. It's timeless.

I FUCKING LOVE SEASON 5! It's the best singular season of any TV show ever made. Yes. I said that with complete conviction.

When you look at the load of tripe we get today in TV or streaming service art/entertainment, you never get anything this well written, acted, produced or directed. I'll admit - yes, it's because shows are more serialized and compacted down to 10-12 episodes a season now... But for a show that wasn't intentionally made to be singular season serialized and 10-something episodes longer, you still will not see better written cohesiveness and consistency or versatility in serialized TV or streaming service art/entertainment today. It is that well done of a singular season and finale. It makes TV shows today a real joke and it's why I will always stick to the classics. I've stuck my head in every now and again to see what's what on streaming services but I've always been left disappointed - either because it's a load of shite or it's undercut before it really got good. Not enough.

So yeah, I put the likes of Buffy, Xena and Charmed on a pedestal because they honestly deserve to be at the very pinnacle of true art/entertainment production and storytelling and I will be adamant.

Not everything works or is of top quality and there's certainly episodes that have not stood the test of time and aged like fine wine. There is issues too. But compared to what we get today - yeah, no contest.

[professor-rye]

10, 20, 30, 40 for the weird writer asks!

Thank you for sending me some questions! Apologies in advance for how much I ended up rambling 😅

10. Has a piece of writing ever “haunted” you? Has your own writing haunted you? What does that mean to you?

Oh gosh. Definitely Dapple. I was worried that I wouldn’t finish the very beginning idea I had (which ended up just being act 1), so I’m sure you can imagine my surprise when not only did I finish that, but then it kept going… and going… *and going.* I’ve always been good at coming up with ideas for long fics, but never before (or since) have I ever been able to actually *stick* with writing them, let alone so consistently. For some reason, for Dapple, my ADHD brain said “This is your life now and you are addicted”. It literally was what kept me on this earth for a while there. It unironically saved my life. And then it just… disappeared. 

My brain no longer wanted to think about it, and it was only habit keeping me going for a while there. I pushed past that point way too far and got burnt out, and I’m still waiting, desperately hoping, that the floodgates will open again. And not just because I want to finish it, mind you. Like I said, writing and posting dapple did so much good for me. It was a safe harbor in a storm. It helped me process some of the worst traumas in my life. It got me *so many friends*. I can not express enough how much I miss it. …. Gods, okay, that got way deeper than I intended. Apologies! Gods… well uh, on to the next question!

20. If a witch offered you the choice between eternal happiness with your one true love and the ability to finally finish, perfect, and publish your dearest, darlingest, most precious WIP in exactly the way you've always imagined it — which would you choose? You can’t have both sorry, life’s a bitch

Well, after the last question, I think the answer is probably obvious lol. No question at all, I would pick to perfectly finish Dapple (Gods, and if that also let me get the sequel idea I had as well?? And also all the side fics??? Shit I would sell my soul for that). (It also doesn’t help that I am ace and have trouble contemplating the idea of magically gifted eternal happiness, so like… it was just very stacked in Dapple’s favor already)

30. Talk to me about the role dreams play in your writing life. Have you ever used material from your dreams in your writing? Have you ever written in a dream? Did you remember it when you woke up?

So, its kind of complicated? I am very much so that writer who just daydreams about fic ideas as I lay down to sleep every night, so there is a very hazy period during the in between where sometimes I’ll get ideas that I can actually remember the next morning.

But I don’t think they’re actual dreams, because my normal dreams tend to be a) incredibly stressful and b) about the most boring stuff imaginable, which is quite the combo. 

But I will say that the pre-sleep daydreaming feels so different from any other actual plotting that I do. It’s very… gods, how do you describe this… 

There’s a thing I learned in art school where you step away from your composition and squint till you can only see the hazy outlines of the different elements of the work. Or like when they tell you to turn the painting upside down for a bit to see what isn’t working. The pre-sleep daydreaming always involves reimagining the scenes I had already thought about during more lucid moments, but looking at the broader strokes and the pure emotion of it (because sleepy). 

So most of the “ideas” I got from those moments were realizations that certain elements didn’t quite work the way I wanted them to, and then once I was actually lucid, I could think back on it and then (sometimes) realize a better way to handle that particular part. 

So… yeah? It’s hard to say if that counts as dreams specifically, but it’s also a really big part of my writing… existence? Process feels weird to say there lol. But yeah, it felt relevant to share. 

Gods, I’m rambling again. Last question! 

40. Please share a poem with me, I need it.

(not me taking several days to find this poem because my memory is terrible and I kept mixing up the line I was searching)

If you suddenly and unexpectedly feel joy, don’t hesitate. Give in to it. There are plenty of lives and whole towns destroyed or about to be. We are not wise, and not very often kind. And much can never be redeemed. Still, life has some possibility left. Perhaps this is its way of fighting back, that sometimes something happens better than all the riches or power in the world. It could be anything, but very likely you notice it in the instant when love begins. Anyway, that’s often the case. Anyway, whatever it is, don’t be afraid of its plenty. Joy is not made to be a crumb. ~ Mary Oliver

So yeah, if anyone else wants to send questions, here is the original question list post thingy. I will try not to ramble quite so much next time 😅

[xythlia]

rambling about writer stuff & general community stuff

that person who said a work with a large note count is the one most people will interact with based on the assumption of "oh it has 1k+ it must be good!" is absolutely correct. the only work of mine that consistently gets interaction even though I posted it forever ago is the one with the highest overall note count.

That is to say people are basically window shopping and only looking at what's "popular" and it can feel like such a mental hurdle to hear others be like ~notes don't matter🥰~ because you also wanna scream yes they fucking do!! and there's nothing weird or embarrassing about the fact that it matters to you, we all love attention it's literally a feature of our species that we love social interaction and attention there's nothing bad about that it's neutral as far as I'm concerned. If anything I think people who shame others for that are weird.

it's also mad discouraging for people to hear over and over "oh don't be silly and make yourself upset comparing yourself to someone else! Everyones work is good!" while yes that's true, it's also... incredibly unhelpful? 9/10 times people already know that, they've heard it enough. All it really serves to do is further push people into the line of thought that "there must be something wrong with me/my work/my art that nobody's telling me" and when you're stuck in a feedback loop of people saying that shit to you it feels like what Eric Andre said about holding hands with kids in a circle around someone chanting "NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE NIGHTMARE" to fuck with them.

I think what happens is people get really caught up in the euphoria of popularity and then also do not wanna share it. That's not to say everyone acts like that because they don't there's plenty of larger blogs that are extremely helpful to others in their communities and do a really great job of being encouraging and giving meaningful, actionable advice but it's not the majority of bloggers. I think sometimes, more than we like to admit, it can be very very satisfying in a mean way to keep a faux barrier up.

I'm not saying anyone is intentionally cruel but it feels cruel to be the other person on the side of that faux barrier, frustrated that you seemingly can't do what they can. That's not the truth.

What people don't say is they use things like canva premium, picsart, photoshop/the free equivalent photopea, pinterest, templates from deviantart creators, capcut, ect to create a lot of the popular aesthetic looking posts you see. If it frustrates you that you don't know how to, you can find tutorials on youtube in an instant teaching you how to make those too now that you know the names of the apps or programs.

Writing resources like grammarly, scribens, online word counters, onelook, wordhippo, springhole.net, the ultimate guide to writing smut fic (on ao3 by QuinnAnderson), ect. those also aren't shared as often as they should be. each of those resources does different things but all are incredibly useful for writing anything, not just fanfic. (I cannot stress enough how helpful that smut guide is if you wanna get into writing that, definitely read through it).

I think this unwillingness to share things contributes to the overall slump a lot of fandom communities are in. You can't know where to start looking if you don't know what it is you're looking for. You also can't improve if tools that could help you aren't made available to you. It's beyond frustrating to be in the position of "I know what's popular but I don't know how I can do that too".

[cubedmango]

NAINAAAA OH MY GOD?(:&:?:& I’M DJD YOUUUUUUU !!!!!!! I’m so sorry I don’t want this entire ask to be pure nonsense so I’m gonna pick up every single one of the million pieces I just exploded into, off of the floor and try and function,,, can I just say you needed to add a warning to that post because I genuinely yelled so loud I felt sharp burn in my chest afterwards WHYY WOULD YOU DO THIS😭😭 KUROSAWA CRYING,, THE BREAKFAST NOTEJNSJS ADACHI AND THEIR LITTLE GIRL CUDDLED UP,,, THE RING,, THE CHERRY!!PYJAMAS I’M FUCKFNFJF oh man. Oh God. Wow you… bless you… you wonderful miracle working legend… like I need you to understand so clearly when I say that my heart took a nose dive upon glancing at that art like my deeply heartfelt love for your art aside the fact that you put it into a perfect visual form with our la sweethearts like I actually can’t move on?? I saw it earlier today and have been racking my brain trying to find ways to properly emote the groundbreaking shift that took place within my soul like. Every so often (every 10 minutes) mind would drift back to Them and I’d have to grab onto the nearest wall to steady myself I’ve officially Lost it. Like thank me? THANK /YOU/ 6473683 times over😭😭😭<333333 I feel like I felt the warm rays of the spring sunshine after a 12 month long winter like truly I’m not sure how but I’m gonna have to join you sensei is gonna receive a mental transmission from me every day onwards BEGGING for this progression it could fix me in so many ways nothing else ever could I just know it…

(other ask below for length)

The ask was getting so long I’m sorry😭 (you Broke Me) BUT your tags had my heart aching because I didn’t even think about that but you’re sooo right like it’s clear that a lot of kurosawa’s unrealistic expectations for himself were ingrained into him through his mother and what she actually expected of him growing up and that manifesting into fears of fatherhood and making the same mistakes is,,,, (had to stop to forcefully regulate my breathing pattern here out of sheer pain) like it’s a perfect next life stage arc that stays true to his character. Plus the whole contrast with adachi being naturally adept and comfortable with fatherhood due to /his/steadfast upbringing and being able to talk things through with kurosawa and help him understand that yeah there’s no such thing as The Perfect Parent™️ but you do just have to learn as you go, while taking into account to be mindful of not making the same mistakes as your own parents but at the end of the day the goal is to create that loving, supportive and consistent environment which he’s more than capable of doing like oh GOD I could eat rocks by the spoonful right now sensei PLEASE,,, I’m gonna stop rambling before every single thought floods out but once again THANK YOU SOOO MUCH for the Kurodachi brain food I’m gonna think about it an insanely unhealthy amount,,, I hope your day was loveliest it could be <333

PLS ANON IM CRYING SM these asks made my day pls im eating up all ur thoughts instantly (and weeps thank u im glad u liked the doodles 🥹) im so unwell abt kurodadchis rn so ty again for putting them in my brain !!!!!

also everything u said abt them talking the possibility out and accepting that they might not be perfect parents but they can actively try to do better and theyre 100% capable of that is just . aaauagGGHHGH i need sensei to make this happen w manga krdc like Right Now and then i need the drama crew to come back and give us a full s2 of this and then same w rd and then-

[yumesweets]

Ok while y’all are here I may as well introduce my mad scientist oc that I am selfshipping with, he looks like this (art by me!!)

Info about him under the cut

Name: Rory Fallon / Dr. Rainbow

Age: 34

Height: 5’7”

Gender: AMAB genderqueer

Pronouns: he/him, it/its, they/them

Orientation: Abrosexual

Birthday: September 22

Alignment: True Neutral

Occupation: geneticist

Voice Claim: Yusuke from Persona 5 (just imagine it more flat bc he has flat affect)

Fun facts:

- he is a superhuman! (in my story that’s just a human with enhanced strength, endurance, durability, and lifespans, they’re also mostly resistant to diseases. They’re generally pretty hard to kill. they don’t have superior intellect or anything, Rory just happens to be highly intelligent)

- he is autistic, has ASPD and level 10 misophonia… has minor claustrophobia/panic disorder as well. He also has amnesia, not from any disorder tho, it was forced. He doesn’t remember his past at all due to this.

- does experiment on others, of course; his work mostly consists of altering DNA/genetics to create something new or interesting. He mostly is pretty humane about the whole thing, preferring to inflict as little pain as possible and lets the person go after he is done experimenting on them (unless he deems the project a failure in which case they are Murdered), unless the subject pisses him off or if he finds out the person was some kind of fucked up criminal, then he’s more apt to being sadistic

- he forgets to eat a lot and can be found passed out occasionally due to this… he also has poor immune health and is rather underweight

- he is comically ignorant on things of sexual and romantic nature, and such topics fluster him greatly. When flustered he tends to make various high pitched squeaking noises. He also reacts pretty strongly to being complimented

- he does not like music much. Will tolerate ‘soft’ music though, as long as the volume is low

- he’s into fashion (will not admit this). He’s into blogging too, but he hides his identity

- there are no technical ethnicities in the story he is from due to it being not earth (it’s called Orythia instead) but if I had to give him something I’d say he’s mixed italian n japanese

- hates anything flavorful and as such his taste in food is very bland. Also hates a great number of textures, and is considered an extremely picky eater, may or may not have ARFID

- it’s extremely hard to get his attention when he is absorbed in something, he gets lost in thought very easily and intensely, sometimes to the point where he does not acknowledge or react to physical touch. It should be noted he absolutely loathes being touched without permission, he either freezes up or becomes violent towards the perpetrator, it depends on who’s bothering him.

- has little patience when it comes to others he doesn’t care much for, he will absolutely be direct in stating that he feels someone may be wasting his time or should go away if he feels he is being bothered

- for people he DOES care about, he gets very passionately defensive over them, especially if they talk down on themselves - he WILL go into a sobbing fit or get angry (not at the person, it’s just a reaction in itself)

There’s def a lot more to him but I’ll talk about that another time! Just thought I’d give a basic rundown of him hehe

[andsalttheearthbehindyou]

in honor of tays new achievement occupying the top 10 songs (top 14 technically hehehe) on the billboard chart for the second time in her career and being the only artist to ever do so.... i wanted to talk torchiepo!! since i never did even though i said i was. (im busy im soz)

this is just going to be my really messy really scattered and disorganized thoughts on ttpd, bc i wanted to, so here they are. i think its tays most misunderstood album. i think that the media is heavily biased against her and her fans just so happen to speak louder than the critics and thats why you hear more positive than negative (thankfully). i think that her peers are extremely envious of her. taylor is unlike anything, any person, any artist. she is consistently peaking, she is consistently breaking her own records, therefore this is not someone that is going to be scrutinized or critiqued very fairly. people have these preconceived notions of her and their own thoughts on her as a person and how deserving she is of her fame and success. all of this is fine its just unfair when considering her art. CNN literally admitted to judging ttpd too harshly when it first came out. they were not judging the album. it is virtually impossible to consume and understand an artist's work just hours within it being released to the public, let alone a 2 HOUR, 31 TRACK ALBUM. they were judging HER. so they literally amended their review and yeah of course youre gonna like the album more after spending more time digesting it. stupid.

anyway. this album is really textured and layered and youre gonna naturally appreciate it more if you understand taylors lore. lol that sounds so funny to say but its really true. her songs naturally evolve in pop culture and become sound tracks to not just her life but her fans lives and they can be applied and understood in different ways. her older songs are true testaments of this, how theyre more generic love songs with winks and nods that allow her fans to understand who theyre *really* about/ what they mean to her. but ttpd is deeper than that, its really personal and unique to her life. no youre not going to relate to clara bow this is unique to her experience in the industry. no youre not gonna relate to thanK you aIMee because youve never beefed with kim kardashian and forcibly exiled from america. no youre not going to relate to the manuscript this is distinctly about her relationship when she was barely an adult dating a 30 year old movie star and her harrowing revisit to that trauma as she wrote the script for atw10 short film. right. yes we all wish we couldve dated jake gyllenhaal but we didnt, you didnt, she did. she saved us. shes literally christ. hahaha. anyway.

ok also a lot of people kind of fail to recognize the funniness and satire of this album. it is SO funny, and shes trying to make it funny, she literally explains this past stage of her life as a manic little phase that naturally would occur when dating one matty healy (ok she didnt say that explicitly i did but shebasically said that. in not so many words). okay if you dont get the jokes in the album do you know matty? i thank my lucky stars that i was an avid 2014 tumblrina and fan of the 1975 and i literally saw them last year, was very fun, matty is also a self-satirizing performer but this post isnt for him so i wont get into all of that either. but yeah people trying to talk down on her and say 'awww sweetie no....taylor youre not a poet....be so serious' oh my god!!! i want to scratch ur eyeballs out. SHE IS NOT SAYING SHES A POET!!! "I laughed in your face and said 'You're not Dylan Thomas, I'm not Patti Smith This ain't the Chelsea Hotel, we'rе modern idiots' " IS HER TELLING MATTY YOU ARE NOT A POET AND NEITHER AM I! so she literally agrees with you on that front.

i want to go through all the songs and all the lines and just gush about the masterful lyricism she possesses but i still feel like i havent had enough time with this album after a week. its such perfection. all the callbacks to her old songs, the influence of her co-producers jack and aaron and past albums culminating into this perfect blend of red-folk-nights?! ugh!!!! i love her so much. i love this album. TO PIECES

[bleedingpeanutbutter]

The muse and the grind

I am writing this blog post after taking a break from working on a chapter of this book I am writing, my first novel. I’m fairly certain it will be terrible but maybe my third and forth ones will show some promise. Later I am also suppose to work on music for the next record, I have artists literally waiting on me to put down vocals but I just can’t make it right. Today seems particularly difficult to get in to the groove of things. Stephen King writes two thousand words a day and says some days he says the words flow easy and other days not so much. Maybe its the power of the habit, maybes its that the muse shows up when you work consistently. Im certainly no expert but it seems the key thing a creative person must do is create. Some days its a struggle to get to five hundred words down and other days two thousand flow out like its nothing. 

I took the advice of James Altucher and try to create idea lists. Just come up with 10 things a day you could write about, or ten things a day to start a business about or whatever you are trying to to. So on this list I have a title for a Bleeding Peanut Butter post called “The muse and the grind” and its beyond easy to procrastinate, in fact I have mastered that skill. That’s one of the reasons I started this blog. To improve my writing and interviewing skills and force myself to have something to write about. To kick out the cobwebs so to speak.

It does seem though that if you show up everyday and put in the work the muse will arrive as well. But boy today is one of those slogging through mud days. Especially since everyone is in quarantine for the Corona virus. It would be so much easier to finish the book I am reading (Duma Key), just play video games, or cook some good food. I don’t have the best advice in the world right now other than the advice I recently got, you write a book one word at a time. I suppose thats true of music as well, write music one note at a time. Record one instrument at a time. One foot in front of the other. Even bad work is better than no work. Bad work you can at least edit most of the time. With no work you are just being a fraud. Creators create, if you don’t create can you call yourself a creator? 

Man, talk is cheap. Everyone wants to be the next great famous artist or the write the great American novel but almost no one wants to put in the grind day in and day out to get there. I can promise you that everyone famous for their art at some point put in the work to get there, I would bet they still do but now that have a team in place to help them along. 

I’m not completely sure my writing is worth reading or music worth listening to because there are so many great artists out there, but art should in some way be about what you need to create. It needs to fulfill you first, if you can write the book you would want to read or the album you would want to listen to I think thats a huge step. Recently I heard someone say that artist have great taste and when an artist starts out and is dissatisfied with their work they know its bad because their tastes tell them so. Their skillset just has to catch up with what they know is good. Once again, practice makes perfect. So make the muse your bitch my showing up everyday, there is no way around it. 

[ovaettrgrimoire]

Ramblings entry into my digital grimoire tonight

Thinking out loud

What is my philosophy on life? I'm 32 Monday and would like this to be settled soon enough

Now that I'm on the other eend of survival I can see myself living

Now that I am able to see clearly cuz i am getting top surgery August 23rd 2023

I will finally have life worth living

So I want to live a good life with good compass of morals guiding me. Good prerogatives and priorities. I want to tend to a garden that is my life and know I'm planting the right seeds to be a good person that I'd be proud to be like yeah that's me

So what are the life philosophies of a green art witch, heathen and norse pagan follower of Freyja and Medusa and Freyr and Odin ?

Just stream of consciousness things that are important to me I'll organize later and repost better written stuff

1) Upholding true trans INCLUSIVE feminist ideals in your every day actions and words

This means no leaning on misogyny even when it benefits you, refusing only passing as a man by silently joining the misogynistic onslaught against femmes in this world and accepting that living a trans feminist lifestyle might get me misgendered but nothing is worse than betraying those who raised me up so I wouldnt care if it harmed me to defend them

2) Denouncing white supremacy and nazism and fascism loudly and plainly and clearly as possible. Make fascists more than uncomfortable and unwelcome, make them run.

3) Live as loudly out and proud as possible to light the way for those who come after us and to honor those who carved the path ahead for us.

4) Respect and remember history always. Dont repeat historical mistakes. Do your reading with full attention. You might find a piece of yourself in the past.

5) Repeated persistent effort pays off like watering a plant every day. We need our routine effort in order to grow properly. We need consistency. Remaining consistent is a priority in life and shows you are a good person and committed. Trying again if you fell off the horse is also honorable.

6) Remain curious and always asking questions every day about every thing so you may fully learn and grow and be involved in your world.

7) Kill the cop in your head immediately, end of story. This helps in many situations

8) Find some way(s) to give back. Giving back helps you feel fulfilled and the cycle is completed.

9) Go out of your way to say thank you for peoples help. Make their efforts feel known. Remind them you care and saw.

10) Never give up even when you are at rock bottom. Remember that rock bottom is sometimes the best foundation to build upon. Be grateful for those who help pull you back up and never forget them.

These are the philosophical life guidelines I've picked up over the last 32 years of my life.

Hopefully they help you too

-O

[maureenalipio]

ALIPIO, MAUREEN LOPEZ | The Grown Up Version (15 years later)

 Wow, it’s been years since I last used my tumblr account. I can’t fairly remember if this was the old account that I usually used. I think I was around 10 years old back when I discovered this social media “slash” blog platform. But anyway, I will try to make use of this platform again but on a new objective. Before, I kinda used this as like a facebook account since back then and this website was so hyped up, wherein we can freely post and see other people’s interests, somehow as well with relatable posts. Now, I think I’ll serve it as like my journal full of my thoughts and ideas. Basically my life, my journey, and my experiences. Though the top priority for this account will still go the same, which is I can say and make opinions about everything that I want to share. Well of course, this is my blog, obviously. I do hope that I can be consistent with this. 

So, where do I start? Well, a lot has happened through the course of time and A LOT has changed. Starting from my physical appearance of course, well I’m still that same fat kid they used to know since elementary. Though I tried to do some weight loss but I wasn’t that consistent. Second, is my environment. A lot of shifts has happened to me, but as they say, change is constant and you must be ready for those because that’s were growth is supposed to start. Lastly, my mindset. It really is time and experience do create wisdom. Though experience is very objective since we are not all born with the same shoe. You meet different kinds of people, learn a lot from them, and you also go through a lot of loopholes and accomplishments before you get to where you are supposed to be. Failure, relapses, regrets, and disappointments are also part of your growth, it’s part of being human of course. Thus, with all these factors, little by little you get to know about yourself. I firmly believe that you really create yourself. You may have those moments that you had no choice or those moments that make you believe in destiny, but at the end of the day, those choices or encounters are the ones that makes you, and its up to you if you want to either enjoy or endure living with it, or escape from it. Dreams and aspirations are as well a part of you, in which that if you wanted something, you have to earn and make your way to grab it. But the thing that you have to dwell in first is to get to know yourself, and the rest will follow. 

So story of my life, I was a girl who likes to prove herself in able to be in favorable for everyone else, and tries to escape when she feels unhappy. To be specific, I grew up in a a typical Asian life, going to a private school who takes piano lessons twice a week with a lot of expectations from her parents then suddenly transferred to a public school during my last 2 years in high school. Went on an engineering school that my father was expecting me to be in since he is a retired engineer, dropped out after 2 years, (Yeah, he got REALLY disappointed), then stopped schooling for a year to finally realize what I really want for my college life. Yes, college life. Sounds close-ended, right? To better explain, college is just part of your learning process and a preparation for your possible potential into the real world. It is true that as you step out of your academic life, that’s where the real battle begins. Your life suddenly gets on freestyle mode. Unless you have your plans made intact already. So then, I decided to take up my 2nd dream course, which is Psychology. My first choice or dream course was really Conservatory in Music in Piano. I wanted to pursue my potential in arts and music but I practically realized that my parents couldn’t afford that in the long run since the tuition fee was really expensive. So I chose what’s more practical for me. Though I was able to take up UPCAT and USTET back then. I passed with USTET for the music course, but I decided to take up what my father was expecting for me at first which is again, at engineering school. 

During my years as a private school girl, I was this timid and happy-go-lucky student back then. I was contented with only average scores unlike my other classmates who were really achievers. Of course, being that kind of student, I was always made fun by classmates. I was once a victim of bullying. Like they treated me as a “you don’t belong here” kinda kid. Trying to make fun on my physical appearance and how I do academically. Even some of my teachers back then used to made fun of me. I tried fighting back, but ends up I was never being favored nor listened to my side. That school taught me not to fight back even if it’s already below the belt or you’re already being betrayed by your so-called friends. But for me, I was just protecting myself. Until I reached the 2nd year of my high school at that same institution, I was starting to realize that I was enduring this kind of environment that is not meant for me all these years and ends up I do not have this kind of fulfillment for myself. Rooting these out, I need growth. Like I know I have a potential, it’s just that I’m in a wrong environment to start at. I spent my years there trying to fit in. Until I decided to try on going on a different environment. Which was in public school. I was encourage to transfer schools by one of my childhood friend who had the same situation as mine back then. I saw her enjoyed on her new school. So then, I explained to parents and at first they really refused because they kept on emphasizing the fact that all of my cousins were graduates of private schools (talk about social status though). But in the end, I was able to persuade them even though they got disappointed with my decision. But I always kept them in mind that it’s free tuition anyways. 

As going by my last 2 years in high school, as a transferee shifting from a private school to a public school, at first I was cultured shocked. The classroom management to be specific. Like we do not have any janitors! We are the ones who will have to clean our room which is a good practice actually. Also, in public schools we had a total of 21 sections in one grade level unlike in private schools we only had 4 sections maximum. As expected, since I was an average student in my previous school, I was placed at the last section, but I don’t mind. But so to speak, that was the best decision that I’ve made. I saw my potential as a leader and was able to experience by being a top student from our class. I made a lot of friends then and was able to meet who I consider as my home friends (my 4th year HS classmates to be specific) and up until this day, we are still solid as a rock. We had our matching tattoos actually! I felt motivated and contented at that time. Until we moved on to college. I was glad I still get to be with them because some of us end up at the same college, well at the first. 

College life. Ahh, a new environment. A little freedom as well. You won’t barely know who is who in college. There’s no such thing as hierarchy, like we are all the same, meaning to say it’s like we are a blank slate from the degree that we had chosen. We came from different schools, environments, and experiences. College is very expensive and that’s what I never realized. I wasn’t being practical to my decision. I already knew I really want, but I still chose to live up the expectations from my father and of the whole family. I remember back in engineering school on my 2 years that I spent, I thought I was going to ace this, but then to realize it really isn’t for me. Damn, I wasn’t really good in math. So as expected, I kept on failing my math subjects. I was really drained and really questioned myself that time. So then, I dropped and tried to explain to my disappointed parents until they helped me to go back to school again after a year. During my days being a dropped out, I tried to look for jobs but only to find out that being a high school graduate job seeker here in the Philippines is not enough to be qualified on most of companies. I was really fortunate that my parents tried to listen to me though it was really one of the tough decisions that we made. 

After college, that’s the time I was so pressured for life. I always asked myself, “what’s next?” or “will I get a job?”. At that point I was thinking if I was really prepared for the reality. So as the usual step for a college graduate is of course, look for a new job. I tried a couple of companies and roles related to my degree, which is on a corporate level which is the HR field. I even tried BPO companies of course to improve my communication skills. Luckily, I got accepted on a BPO company with a travel account. I said to myself, I will only try BPO for communication improvement, and so I thought. I spent my year there with a lot of learnings, mishaps and challenges. But I must say, that I enjoyed my stay here. Currently, I’m on my second job which is still BPO and travel account related, and I have a lot to talk about this experience. So, that’s what my life is currently at and wanted to talk about on my next blogs.

So, that’s what I’ve been up to so far. I do hope I could still write blogs for the next time. But hey, life goes on. Everyday is a fresh start. I will do my best to update here about what’s happening with my life and share about my thoughts and experiences. See you on my next updates!