#i say queer bc any hc that's him being Not Straight is good in my book

[wereh0gz]

Everyone can headcanon whatever they want but if you say sonic is straight and/or cis you're just plain wrong that boy is queer as hell

[imasimpcentral]

The Office lgbtq+ hcs (also posted on twitter but formatting will be different here lol)

Michael Scott

- cis, I don't think I could see him as anything else I fear

- he/him, but if he was asked he'd be very confused and would just be like "pronouns [pronounce] what?"

- bi, he never officially labels himself as that but we know damn well it's practically canon

- he is peak autism and I love him for it

- Ryan was bi awakening for obvious reasons

- I think he's kissed dwight before but refuses to talk about it

- Definitely had a crush on david at some point

- I don't know if he necessarily had a crush on Todd but he influences a huge part of who michael is he definitely likes him as more than a friend (not that michael will ever admit that)

- I was talking with a friend about if Dwight/Ryan were dating and just the dynamic of that and how michael would react

"You two shouldn't be together!!" He goes on this whole rant and tries to rally the office to his cause (which they don't) and he gets like so close to figuring out that he likes Ryan before he just let's it go

Not really relevant to headcanons just wanted to air that out lol

Jim Halpert

LOOK HOW PRETTY HE IS THERE

Anyway

- cis, honestly my gender hc for him switches a lot sometimes he's transmasc sometimes he's just cis whatever I feel fits in the moment tbh

- he/they, if someone asked him for his pronouns he'd probably only say he/him but I don't think he'd mind they/them too but again this changes for me too

- bi, in my brain it works

Also someone on twitter made a really strong case and they were talking about how ooc the thing Jim was keeping from Pam could've been him coming out as bi which I think would be a really cute concept

- I think Kelly helped him figure out he was bi as they are besties (I will make them besties trust)

- he has some freaky frenemies with benefits thing going on with dwight (with the consent of Pam ofc)

With that I'd say he's also ambiamorous he doesn't label himself as that but that's how I'd describe it

- he kissed ryan at a christmas party once

Kevin Malone

- cis, honestly can be pretty flexible with this I think it's fun to play around with transfem Kevin but not that realistic in canon

- I don't think he'd care much for pronouns but I personally really like he/she Kevin I think someone would accidentally use she/her and on him and she'd just go to Oscar like "wait you can use she/her without being a girl??" And that is his gender awakening basically

Oh also I think Kelly introduces to him to neos and he ends up liking cloud/clouds

- straight I don't know I can't see him liking men

- maybe has adhd??

- Angela and Oscar are the first people he goes to for everything (they ARE found family)

Ryan Howard

- you could hc him as any gender and I'd say yes but I'll just say transmasc, though I usually like genderfluid and nonbinary to describe him as well

- he/they/xe, kelly introduced him to neopronouns obviously my chronically online queer queen

- gay??? ace too?? Idrk he's super in the closet though

- he has kissed michael before and freaked out bc he didn't hate it

- Definitely had something romantic with Gabe

Pam Beesly-Halpert

- cis, though I'm not super solid on this though

- she/they, I think she'd make an extra effort as office administrator to make people wear pronoun pins and/or pronouns on their nametags so that they could be normalized in the workplace. Also in general I think she realizes there are a good amount of people who don't just use she/her and he/him so she wanted to be more inclusive. She is the hugest ally in the office.

- sapphic, kelly helped pam discover the term sapphic but she definitely had her awakening with Katy/Karen

Like she knows she definitely likes Jim but then she spends time with his partners and she's just like "wait am I jealous of her or jim?"

- while jim/dwight are fucking Pam and Angela also have a similar frenemies with benefits situation

With the consent of Jim obviously

(She is ambiamorous and labels herself as such)

- she's also autistic bc yes

Dwight Schrute

- transmasc and agender. I don't think he fully identifies as agender he simply just could care less about it's gender.

When explaining that to kelly (bc yes she is who everyone goes to when they're questioning their identity bc they've tried to talk to toby but he was so useless he basically defers everyone to kelly (also oscar will not answer those questions bc he can't be bothered)) she basically is like "so you're agender?" and it's just like "no I'm trying to tell you I have no gender!" "Dwight no-"

- it/he in professional settings it only uses he/him but like pam, angela, and Jim know he uses it/it's

Eventually everyone else figures out and they're just like "I've been using it/it's on him for years!"

- demiro; I think he very clearly falls for someone sexually very fast and will be like lowkey obsessed but it takes him awhile to actually fall for people romantically. I also sometimes hc him as nebularomantic since he is technically supposed to be autistic?? At least I hc it as autistic-

- pan, just makes sense to me 🤷

- polyamorous, as he's dating Angela he is also sleeping with Jim (with Angela's consent obvs)

Andy Bernard

- cis, I can't really imagine him as anything else sorry

- he/him and he's also a pretty big trans ally and he takes pronouns very seriously. He went to Cornell so he knows his english or whatever. He Will call people out when they hate on pronouns and use "I/We/Me" in the post.

- realistically? Bicurious

In my headcanon? Gay but so so deep in closet (it is glass though) due to his upbringing he has unfortunately repressed it just so much.

- had crushes on Oscar, Darryl, and Jim at some point, he would never admit these were crushes though.

- oh he's also autistic

Kelly Kapoor

- cis, though sometimes I transfem her

- she/her

- realistically bi but in my heart of hearts she's a lesbian with comphet

- she's dating Erin

- she's autistics with a special interest in fashion and celebrities

Oscar Martinez

- cis, not a hater of trans Oscar but I fear I can't see him as anything other than cis 🥲

- he/him, he also would get into arguments over pronouns and he would own the average transphobe by saying "actually-"

- gay (canon)

- autistic in my heart of hearts

- he refuses to catch feelings out of fear of rejection

- bc of this Andy has to be the one to confess first which is hard for both of them

Sigh gay men 😔

(TO BE CONTINUED I HIT IMAGE LIMIT)

[mamawasatesttube]

Tbh it’s kinda stereotypical that a lot of people view Tim as gay and Kon as bi when canon evidence suggests it’s the other way around

Tim has had several relationships with girls that show a lot of love and care even if they don’t work out. But all of Kon’s relationships with girls have been performative in some way (or were like one date with a lesbian)

But since Kon has the super strength people view him as more masculine so they make him bi, and Tim is more academic and has a lithe frame and is often made gay in fics and is given a more feminine role. Tim being a mistreated damsel and Kon being his savior is very common. It’s literally them being assigned top/bottom aka masculine/feminine, it’s just heteronormativity in a different font

YEAAAAAAH ANON GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! its literally so true ive bitched about this exact thing to my friends before. it's both the homophobia implicit in the idea that a more "traditionally masculine" man (esp one who's not twink-shaped) must be available for m/f ships and cannot possibly be gay, plus the biphobia of the notion that bisexuality is this "half gay, half straight" midpoint default setting for any character who doesn't fit the ~gay archetypes~ or whatever.

like to be clear i have absolutely nothing against bi kon hcs. but i REALLY find the narrative of gay kon compelling (for the same reasons you state!! he has never had a real relationship with a woman) and yet. the one time i made a post about this, SO many people in the notes were like yeah bi kon is good too though. oh yeah you can have this narrative but i like him bi. as if that's a) the default setting and b) the ONLY option, because gay narratives and bi narratives have no distinctions. it was... pretty grating to be honest. it's a shitty way to treat both bisexuality And gayness.

also reminds me of the time someone left hate mail on my fic bc i described kon wearing heels and fishnets lkdjalksjdl like i laugh at it but it was. definitely someone who couldnt handle him being written as an actual queer man lmao. he HAS to be the manly man in the timkon relationship. or whatever.

ANYWAY all this to say, i fully agree with you!!! it's so pervasive and so annoying. also compounded w the number of people in the timkon tags who simply have never touched a kon comic tbh (goes back to bisexuality as being treated as a default not worthy of actual thought or consideration). alas :/

[dykeyote]

ok my dndads queer hc post randomly gets notes but i disagree w many of the takes now so im updating it . spoiler warning theres a WHOLE lot of lezzies . just doing the dads kiddads and teens HOWEVER i will say that mark likely is for sure a lezzer

darryl: bisexual and probably the most cisgender one here but he's actually SO cis that it becomes almost gnc . he/him

ron: transhet guy but he thinks his transition is like very unique to him and everyone else is doing it the exact same as each other so he doesnt really get that hes Transgender bc he thinks everyone else is doing it in a really different way than him all together . not in an angsty way hes perfectly okay w that . he/him

henry: trans bi guy we know this to be true . he/him but if you called him they/them prns he would be like well yknow ive never thought about that before but you know what go right ahead (: he doesnt exactly enjoy it but he appreciates just how gosh-darn nonbinary positive you are that he'd still encourage it

glenn: bisexual and like .... hes cis he doesnt really care abt gender much but when nick came out as trans he definitely said something about like . "dude if i was trans? id totally use they/them pronouns thats sick as fuck" and then moved on and this sort of haunted nick for a while . he/him but again he doesnt really care

jodie: cis and bisexual but in such a boring way that he might as well be straight

sparrow: tgirl lesbian who was out at one point but is not now for Normalcy Reasons . she/her in theory

lark: transneu nonbinary and aroace . not out about either of these things but not really as a like Actively Closeted thing they just dont really think abt it . they/he in theory

terry jr: tgirl lesbian also but this time out AND butch . she/he

grant: gay of course . and like .... he is cis and this wont change but he'd be a good deal happier if he was more gnc i think

nick: tguy butch lesbian . he mostly but he doesnt really care that much

link: kinda-stealth tboy (not really intentionally or anything he just doesnt really see it as relevant that often so most people dk) and gay . he/him but he doesnt really care that much

taylor: honestly idk what i think is going on w his gender but i DO know hes aro and bi . give me some time to think on that ok

scary: out nonbinary tfem lesbian!!!!! we know this!!!!!! she/it and when she writes her pronouns down she always writes the it in VERY BIG AGGRESSIVE HANDWRITING to make it clear that its SUBVERSIVE AND WEIRD

normal: bisexual tgirl . currently in a like . Questioning Phase in s2 i feel like ..... her turmoil abt being a Normal Son is tied to that . any pronouns but she primarily

hermie: bigender (girl + boy) gaybian :3 was an open bisexual tguy originally but around the poison ivy era had some Gender Complexity . he/she but certain Method Personas have diff pronoun leans whereas normal herm is pretty 50/50

[nosolaceofastraightanswer]

happy pride month!!!! anyway tua pride headcanons cus i want to lol :P *note- i do not identity with all of these labels. i cannot give you a personal experience or defense for these. if i include any harmful stereotypes, lmk. it’s pride month and queer people are valid*

quick overview, analysis below the readmore

luther- he/him cishet

diego- he/him cis and bicurious

allison- she/her cishet

klaus- he/she (they sometimes) genderqueer/enby, pansexual

five- they/he gay and ace. agender.

ben- he/him cishet

viktor- he/they transmasc lesbian

for some i used the canonical pronouns as to not confuse before i get the explanation. <33333

luther- to me he’s like a cishet guy honestly. i still love the pride hc’s other people have, bc most of the time they’re really good. i just prefer this reading, espec. with sloane (QUEEN!!!!). i also don’t like the s1 era fics where everyone hated luther (almost entirely unjustified) so they would make him be a dick to klaus and stuff. like did he drink reggie’s kool aid? yes. but is he homophobic? no. i think a better example in a canonical kid fic of him saying mean things to klaus for plot would be like,, making fun of him for being a druggie or lazy, because that’s stuff that reginald would actually encourage him to say. rant over lmao that just has always bothered me.

diego- honestly this one is back and forth for me, between bisexual and straight. like him and lila being bi4bi is just too fucking amazing, but he does give off straight guy energy sometimes so i’ll put it at a bi-curious. he’s def an ally though, and i can imagine he would do his best to get over his fear of needles to help v with his t shots, or defend klaus from homophobic assholes. although i personally hc him as cis, the transmasc diego people have their fucking shit together because that HITS DIFFERENT. i think done right, it adds so much to his character in AU’s and stuff and it’s just rly cute!! but bisexual diego is a very fanon thing that i like to see.

allison- i think probably straight and cis once again. she seems very comfy and happy in her femininity and gender, and her with ray??? (sidenote almond as a ship name makes me lose it ITS SO CUTE). i think she’s always been a big ally to klaus. i can also see her as pan or bi, but pressured to appear as straight by the constant eyes on her since she was like ten. i mean not only was she the only girl, but also a black girl? she was 100% so insecure during her childhood because people were constantly critiquing her. so honestly i don’t think it would be too out of the ordinary to hc her as queer.

klaus- i mean, we all know this one. as far as i know he has been canonically (though not mentioned in show, more like an interview or something) pansexual and non-binary. if not then it’s VERY FANON. directly through the show, we see his attraction to men through dave and also his enjoyment of more feminine clothes and makeup and things like that. i hc him as genderqueer and just generally chilling out and not really caring too much about labels. like a “i’ll fuck you if you’re hot” kind of attitude.

five- now this one might get me some weirdness, but i don’t see five as a cishet man for my hc’ing purposes. a common fanon opinion is that he’s asexual, which i totally like. i also think he’s gay. i guess that would be homoromantic? and also agender. he said no. no. MEN. i think that any romantic hc that does not acknowledge delores is not doing it right, bc holy shit delores is so fucking important to the understanding of his character!!!!! i believe in the interpretation that delores is himself, but a separated part that he forced himself to view as a separate entity to survive the apocalypse. he kind of fucking tricked himself into loving himself, though unfortunately as many people have pointed out, he doesn’t see himself as capable of good. he doesn’t see that delores is him- he can’t. he was down bad though for his mannequin apocalypse wife okay??? they were in love fuck you???? idk sexuality is fluid. let this old man live his life. he’s so tired. also agender, i think they don’t like being called a boy (possibly childhood trauma, possibly gender) but still is okay with “old man”.

ben- he is the token cishet of the upper numbers trio ( 567 icons real and true ). the jennifer incident was heavily implied if not directly and canonically stated to be a romantic issue, and also him and jill!!!! yes it was weird but it was so cute. bring back umbrella ben istg idc about the themes you messed them up in s3 anyway. i would talk more about him BUT HE NEVER GOT ENOUGH FUCKING SCREENTIME EVER AND THE THEMES THE THEMES HIS CHARACTER THEY DIDN- gets shot

viktor- canonically transmasc, canonically a woman enjoyer, ten out of ten character. i love looking at s1 era fics where people would be like. there is no way this guy doesn’t like women. *lesbian headcanons*. and elliot page just slaying with the queer rep season after season. i think he/they pronouns for viktor is really good and i like it :)). also some people hc them as bi because of harold (or for weird reasons but we don’t talk about that-) but i think it’s more of a lesbian thing personally. now. don’t come after me i’m not looking for he/him lesbian discourse on my pride month fandom post. AND FURTHERMORE elliot page is a king and he doesn’t deserve in any way the crazy hate he gets for being trans. trans men are men, trans ppl are valid etc. that being said, i hc him as a he/they lesbian. RESPECTFULLY. i imagine there were a lot of complicated factors while he was coming out and realizing things about themself. i think the harold thing was wanting to be wanted and loved more that actually wanting or loving, and you know we all gotta have that spicy *heteronormativity* woohoo.

bonus LILA (queen)- bisexual!! also she/they hc’s are valid asf for that. we love a queen who can do both. not sure if this is partial or full canon, or just heavy fandom but idc.

okay byyeeee happy pride month and also have a good juneteenth. black lives matter!!!!!