#i say pre-polls because that definitely would have worked better as a set of polls but i made it years ago
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god my top three og posts being the one will the wise & the ice twins was based on, the pre-polls fave losers club member + birth order correlation post, and the spring awakening post i made at like 7am before work that broke follower containment and got a response that made me never want to post a text post about anything i like ever sure is something huh
#i say pre-polls because that definitely would have worked better as a set of polls but i made it years ago#also i keep forgetting those first two exist lmao the Only posts i've ever made that have gotten more than 1k notes#and they're sitting at 4k and 3k respectively like what the fuck#anyways i did that tumblr note counter thing because there's a poll going around so here we are#jess rants about life
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Oh, so when you said that you'll include challenge rooms, you meant that you'll mix it together with the regular ones? I honestly just thought they're gonna be a separate thing xd Granted, with 10 rooms per round, we'd always have to compare a bunch of rooms with completely different goals and purposes anyway, so this really isn't as big of a shake-up as it might seem at first. Because if the shelters, karma gates, and story-oriented rooms with 0 gameplay elements didn't cause issues, then the arena and challenge rooms shouldn't, either.
Personal room rankings:
1 - Outer Expanse: RUIN21 (9/10) 2 - Challenge #45 Spearmaster (9/10) 3 - Metropolis: S04 (8/10) 4 - Submerged Superstructure: VENT14 (8/10) 5 - Chimney Canopy: SUMP02 (6/10) 6 - Challenge #51 Saint (6/10) 7 - Waterfront Facility: WALL03 (6/10) 8 - Pipeyard: C10 (6/10) 9 - Submerged Superstructure: VENT05 (5/10) 10 - Suburban Drifts: A42 (4/10)
Extra comment: And yeah, I was kind of expecting RUIN21 to perform the best here, since OE rooms have a tendency to always end up at the top. My reason for voting it was mostly that I just didn't see anything here that I would consider to be better, but I also like that giant crack in the middle of it, which really sets it apart from the small indoor rooms. I honestly kind of wish that more of those rooms did these sorts of things, rather than just keeping many of them with a regular kind of room layout, plus a boatload of plants in the background, and really nothing else (though this doesn't make those other rooms bad, or anything, just a bit less interesting and memorable).
For the first two challenge room options, these ones are certainly interesting. The Saint one has a bit of a unique design, I just don't feel like it ends up working very well, either conceptually or gameplay-wise. (Cus the idea of the challenge is interesting, but the pipes unfortunately end up completely trivializing it. Maybe that was part of the point, but I even still, the room certainly isn't perfect) The Spearmaster one works a lot better for its challenge, and it also sells an atmosphere incredibly well. In fact, I'd go as far as to say that this is one of the most memorable and atmospheric challenges of them all, and most of it is due to the simple, but really well thought-out room design that it has. This is just very likely the best possible execution of the "target practice at dangerous heights" concept that you could make in Rain World.
As for the Suburban Drifts room, I really have no idea what's up with it. I feel like some of the people that frequently show up to these polls really enjoy visiting the tutorial (and pre tutorial) areas as Saint, cus those rooms usually get to around 20%, despite their extreme lack of usefulness in the campaign. It's definitely a tad strange, but hey, Rain World is about exploration, and if they enjoy exploring there, then more power to them.
Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 137
This is not single elimination! Every room with at least 10.0% vote will move on to the next round.
There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!
Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, and me
Congratulations for day 136 winners!
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Election Day 2020
Is it possible that Election Day is finally upon us? Some other time, I’d like to write about the craziness of having these election seasons that go on endlessly��you can expect the 2024 campaign to begin in all but name about a quarter-hour after the new or not-new president is inaugurated in January—and particularly in light of the relative sanity that prevails in other countries, where political campaigns last mostly for several weeks or months. (The minimum length of an election campaign in Canada is thirty-six days, for example, but the longest on record was only eleven weeks. The candidates give a few speeches, the party publishes its platform, there are some interviews and a debate or two, then the polls open and the nation votes. Only here, where the date of the next presidential election has nothing to do with the fate of the current government, is it considered normal for people to spend two or three years campaigning for office.) Today, however, I’d like to use this space to write instead about the concept of participation in an election itself.
While perusing the corners of the blogosphere that are my regular haunts, I’ve occasionally noted the opinion put forward that the American system of government is an outgrowth of the specific kind of democracy invented (and named) by the ancient Greeks and that, therefore, it can only be supported by Jews and Christians willing to set aside what Scripture teaches us about the way people should consent to be governed to embrace a system unrelated to their own spiritual heritage. Generally written by people who know their Bible but who are wholly ignorant of rabbinic tradition, these essays are mostly the work of people who find the distinction between ancient Israelite religion and modern Judaism a triviality to be skipped past rather than a detail of profound importance. How this could or should work for Christians, I’ll leave for others more qualified than myself to puzzle out. But for Jews, the question itself of whether people guided by Jewish tradition should enthusiastically embrace or merely stoically accept the concept of representative democracy is the question I’ve been pondering in these last days leading up to the election.
It surely is so that the Bible does not envisage the ancient Israelites participating in anything like a Jeffersonian democracy. Indeed, biblical tradition imagines an ideal state governed by a king who acts solely in accordance with the law of the Torah and actually goes so far as to legislate that the king may only be seated on the royal throne when he is actually holding his personal scroll of the Law in his arms. How practical that was, or if the kings of Israel truly obeyed that injunction, who can say? But it is a stunning image nonetheless, something along the lines of our nation requiring by law that the President actually hold a copy of the Constitution in his hands whenever meeting with visitors in the Oval Office or making a public address. (That might actually not be such a bad idea, now that I think of it.) Interestingly, the king isn’t expected to be a Torah scholar who can personally puzzle out obscure point of law: in cases where Scripture does not directly address some specific issue with which the king needs to deal, a large squadron of court prophets is also imagined to be in place specifically to transmit the word of God to the sovereign on an issue-by-issue basis. So the model of which those authors I referenced above are so enamored basically features God ruling the nation through the agency of a king who gets his governing instructions from God one way or the other: either directly from his own informed contemplation of Scripture or indirectly from the squadron of house seers installed in the palace for that precise purpose.
But that ideal kingdom is not where any of us lives today. Yes, it is certainly so that Jews who say their prayers in the traditional mode give voice daily to the hope that the messianic era will feature just such a king of the House of David empowered to rule over the Land of Israel in the mode described just above. But in our pre-redeemed world, the footfalls of the messiah have yet to heard even in the distance. For better or worse, we are—for the moment, at least—on our own.
I suppose it could be possible to argue that the kind of democracy that has evolved as the basis for government in these United States is thus merely an attractive stop-gap measure that traditionalists should support until the aforementioned footfalls become audible in the distance. There is, however, a rabbinic idea that actually corresponds precisely to the notion of participating in an election to choose a national leader. And that suggests to me a way to frame voting in a national election as a personal decision fully in sync with tradition.
In Jewish law, the concept of agency guarantees individuals the right to appoint agents to act on their behalf. When put baldly like that, it sounds almost banal. But behind that apparent banality is the legal force that enables the individual to act profoundly in ways that would otherwise be either impossible or, at the very least, impractical. For its part, the Talmud speaks about the concept of agency in absolute terms, going so far as to say that “the agent of an individual is legally empowered to act as though he or she were the individual him or herself.” There are exceptions, of course. For one, the Talmud makes clear that “the concept of agency is inoperative when the agent has been appointed specifically to commit a sin.” In other words, you can’t escape the consequence of wrongdoing by appointing an agent to commit the deed for you. So you can avoid the need to travel to a different locale by appointing an agent to marry your future spouse on your behalf or to act “as yourself” in divorce (or any) court, but you can’t escape the consequences of murdering someone by hiring a hitperson to pull the trigger. Nor was this “just” a regular feature of classical law in ancient times: it appears, at least in the broad way it was construed by the ancient sages, specifically to be a feature specifically of Jewish law. (The second exception, however, regards the commandments themselves: it is not deemed legally possible to hire an agent to fulfill obligations to God. You cannot, therefore, appoint someone to say the Shema for you or to put t’fillin on during morning prayers as though that person were you. Nor can you appoint an agent to eat matzah for you at the Pesach seder or to dine in a sukkah or to hear the shofar blasts during Rosh Hashanah.)
That set of ideas creates an interesting framework for considering the role of the individual in a republican democracy, because it leads directly to thinking of elections as opportunities for individuals to appoint as their agents the individuals they wish to see lead the nation forward. That we do this collectively—i.e., as a kind of contest in which the winner becomes the agent of us all—is just a function of the fact that no nation could function if each individual were to appoint his or her own congressperson or choose personally to serve him or herself. For practical reasons, then, we do this as a group…but the basic principle that underlies the effort is still that, by voting, we are appointing individuals as our agents to represent us in the Congress and to serve as President. We send them not to commit sins that we don’t want to sully our own hands by undertaking (that wouldn’t be allowed) or fulfill our own spiritual obligations to God, but specifically to act on our behalf to ensure the security of the nation, to guarantee justice for all its citizens, to create a safety net into which people unable to care adequately for themselves may fall, to oversee the education of our children, to care for our veterans, to guide our nation to its rightful place of leadership in the forum of nations, to watch over the planet and prevent humanity from irrevocably soiling its collective nest, and to guide our nation into solid, mutually beneficial alliances with other countries. By casting my vote on Tuesday (and, yes, I am planning to vote the old-fashioned way: in person and on Election Day), I understand myself to be participating in a national effort to appoint the individuals who will lead the nation forward.
Because I think of our representatives in Congress and as the President as agents appointed by myself (and several hundred million others) to act on our behalf in the world, I feel a concomitant freedom to inform those people regularly how I wish them to act and what I wish for them to attempt to accomplish.
It sounds a bit passé these days to refer to members of the Congress or to the President and Vice President as servants of the people, but the way the word “servant” is used in that expression comes close to what I hear in the Hebrew shaliach, the standard word for “agent.” So, to answer those who feel that participation in representative democracy is by definition an act undertaken outside the concept of tradition, my answer is that there really couldn’t be a more traditional way to think about governance than by imagining the citizenry banding together to appoint an agent to do their bidding and lead them forward.
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This would seem to bring us to Post Number 60, the 62nd post of this series, if you count the decimalized ones.
LAST TIME ON MEAT EPILOGUE It would seem we are returning to John and Terezi, this time--- wooo!~ Apparently, he looks pretty bad. This is unfortunate. On the other hand: YES, MEAT EPILOGUE CHAPTER/SECTION 6!!!
Hey, don’t try to shame John for being the sub in this situation. It’s not like he has experience with that kind of thing (not that it’s something generally to be ashamed of: I’m just saying that it is something he seems to be somewhat embarrassed about, and his inexperience meant that it wasn’t exactly by choice on his part--- which is not to suggest that Terezi molested him in any way). Aaaannnd Trolls (especially highbloods) are supposed to be particularly vicious in nature, generally, right? It makes a whole lot of sense that that would extend to the bedroom, as well.
... But yeah, that doesn’t help with his health. He was already doing pretty badly, just after the surgery. He didn’t really need that sort of mess tacked on afterward. Oh, and... why “mysteriously” sticky, you derp? XD
And I am glad you were kidding. (That slapping was very interesting to hear. Hmmm.) Yeah, him being confused and uncertain about it also feels just about right~ ~~~ On a random note, I am reading this just after going through the memo where Karkat, John, and Dave were talking about romance/the propagation of the species, and KK insisted that John and Dave stay away from troll women. That makes this all wonderfully hilarious, in retrospect.
Huh. I’ve never seen “cuckold” used in that sort of context before. Indeed, this is quite the question, though. Could John Egbert handle a blackrom? A caligionous one, at that? A very hard question, that is. I’m not sure he’s emotionally capable of giving himself into the kinds of hate and playful ribbing that would be constantly involved in that kind of relationship, if healthy. I suspect it might have been just a particularly violent flushed thing, though. We’ll see.
Pffft. Slithers. That said: Huh. I was not expecting that turn. Let’s see where this goes~
Oh my gosh, Dirk, would you stop being such a downer? XD I think this is indeed very, very cute~ Soul-shattering is a weird sort of term to use there, for a normal person. Seems right for Dirk, though. He understands the nuances of how shattering can be more or less than a whole break.
That is practically the definition of a subjective judgment. I know you’re being ironic and all, but come on, man, that’s just base as heck. But yeah, I think he might have it bad, indeed.
The question here is, “Does he mean to suggest that Andrew Hussie is God to him, or does he mistakenly [in the context of Homestuck, which has given no distinct evidence for it] believe that there was a God that he actually usurped?” “replaced” is a very interesting and useful word, here, given the working interpretation that I have is indeed that he is interpreting AH as God and likely believes him to have abandoned Homestuck, thus removed himself from his directorial capacity over its narrative, until he managed to take over.
WHY ARE NEITHER OF YOU THINKING OF RETCON-PORTING IN TO RESCUE HER FROM HER DEMISE BEFORE IT HAPPENS?!?!?!? But yeah, you really should get home and recover first, if it is possible.
Whoops. Not a good sign. Noooot a good sign.
The Power of Three is a very strong thing.
Here we gooooooo!!!~ The first time (I think) that I’ve continued a post beyond one page!!!
No. Also, probably Jake English. He has strange effects on people.
Wow, someone’s a bit miffed. That said: Hooray, acknowledgement by the narrative! :’D
I do not appreciate your repeated suggestions that Jake is dumb! That said: No. No, I do not want to engage in wanton promiscuity with such a man. I am, to put it quite simply, not interested in meaningless sexual encounters with people I am not deeply connected with. Even if I had such a bond with Jake English, I would not be inclined to engage in such activities. Quite frankly, I am not exactly partial to the type of equipment he sports. As for the political side of things... well, that’s complicated. Yeah, people can indeed become far too energized by the attractiveness of candidates and those associated with them, rather than their substance. Maybe that’s the case, here. I’d like to think that the actual results of the election will in fact prove people wrong. Maybe there will be exit polls that we can see excerpts of to judge things for certain. I don’t know~
FINALLY, SOMEONE FRICKING ADMIRES THE SUFFERER!!!
Eh? I mean, I guess even Dave and Karkat were acknowledging the possibility of a misstep. We’ll see what happens.
Heee’s probably gonna try to sabotage this, isn’t he? Also, I wish I were more familiar with human muscle anatomy.
“The Kibosh” is a good phrase to use. That said: ***snerk*** It’s like Karkat has wedding day jitters. XD
Man, it is annoying how spiteful you are toward him, Dirk. Can you give him a break for just a second? I mean, you probably caused the sweating to begin with.
Wow. Such dudebroism, which I just suddenly realized/-membered Dirk was supposed to slightly embody, somewhat. (I blame Gamebro Magazine, and the sharp contrast between the diction there and Dirk’s writing style.) That is a funny description, though, the brain-tonguing. Also, gosh, Jake is nervous.
Oh, hey, I think Dave’s going to finally get a feel for the Narrative, and maybe end up confronting Dirk. That will be incredibly interesting.
Wow, this is getting to him. It’s like he’s made of sugar, and someone’s just begun to drizzle water on him. Or maybe made of witch.
***lip curls up in a snarl*** Dave better make this quick. I am somehow edging on more angry at this Unreliable Narrator than I was before Alt!Calliope took over...!
Well, that’s, umm... interesting. Particularly, the cultivated Obfuscating Stupidity bit. But moreso the fact that Dirk will acknowledge he’s smarter than he seems.
Yes... I think I most definitely am more furious than ever at this piece of garbage, now. After the sweet taste of freedom that Jake was finally able to feel, and the burst of confidence he’d found in it, you pour all of this blithering waste on him? Jane was trying to use him! I’m sure she hasn’t loved him for a long time, and even then, I Jake never toyed with her heart intentionally, I’m sure! Grrrrr...!
Honestly, though, he brings up a complicated and intriguing question. Jake has definitely been used and abused throughout his history, and at least part of his recent activity to exploit his Hope-y Assets must have been Dirk’s doing, but how much of his sexually promiscuous revelry has actually been something that he would not and did not choose, say, as a result of his drinking problem, rather than him reveling in his identity as a
WORLD RENOWNED EXPLORER-NATURALIST-TREASURE HUNTER-ARCHEOLOGIST-SCIENTIST-ADVENTURER-BIG GAME HUNTER-BILLIONAIRE EXTRAORDINAIRE
just as your pre-Scratch self was? Regardless of the level of culpability he actually has in the matters of his life, he is nowhere near deserving of this kind of shaming, and Dirk should be ashamed of himself for this kind of disgusting behavior which he is almost certainly engaging in specifically to throw Jake off.
Oh, also, victim blaming is BS, and the answer is an unequivocal, “You, you insincere, megalomaniacal, self-justifying dirtbag.”
***is so fricking ANGRY that it is taking a great deal of willpower not to release a roar of primal fury and break my hand on my computer screen*** THIS IS NOT HOW HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS WORK!!! THAT IS NOT HOW SOMEONE WHO IS ACTUALLY WILLING TO SUBMIT TO YOU LIKE THAT WILL BEHAVE, YOU FFF--- ***RRRRRGH!!!***
YOU HAD BETTER NOT FRICKING LISTEN TO THIS GARBAGE, JAKE!!! RESIST HIS INFLUENCE, AND--- Huh. The thought just occurred to me that both Dave and Jake could be interpreted as stand-ins for Simon, if Dirk were Kamina (despite how different Kamina’s personality is from Dirk’s), because Simon really seems like he could be interpreted as a Page of Hope too, for some reason (but curse my ADHD! XwX) ---AND DEFEAT HIM WITH YOUR HOPE BUBBLE!!!
... At least he apologized. For what that is worth. This is going to seem so obvious to Dave, though. Obviously, he isn’t going to kill his Bro, but... well, let’s see how things turn out. Hmm. Also, this is hilarious insofar as it derailed the press conference and probably took away much of the steam that could have been generated for the Karkat/Vantas ticket by Jake’s endorsement, but it doesn’t exactly do all that much for Jane Crocker’s side, either. It was a very sickening and weird spectacle, but I am not sure how it will actually play out in their favor? Seems like it might cause Jane’s side trouble, and might cause tensions between them.
I still can never consistently remember what “smh” means. But yes, “HICCUP???” is right. STOP HIM, DAVE!!!
TACKLE HIM AWAY INTO THE FUTURE!!!
Realistically, he should have no problem with speed at all. Time power shown a la cheating with Jade in games should let him get there instantly, and even his flash step that he has shown since before entering the Game should allow him to get there on time. Man, Dirk is a prick about manipulating things. Especially since we are going to see things derailed and shift to another setting, right when Jake is supposedly going to make the biggest contribution he’ll ever make. WHICH DOESN’T EVEN FRICKING MAKE SENSE!!!
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Heatwave for President
Fic: Heatwave for President (ao3 link)
Fandom: Flash, DC's Legends of Tomorrow Pairing: Mick Rory/Leonard Snart
Summary: Mick Rory will go down in history for being the first person to start his campaign for President of the United States by saying, "I really don't want to do this, but seriously, look at my opponent."
A/N: Birthday present for @oneiriad! Happy birthday!
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"Do you have any regrets about the process?" the reporter asks as they all stare at the giant television showing the projected results as the exit polls start trickling in from the states. "Anything you would change?"
"What kind of question is that?" Iris mutters under her breath.
Mick - to whom the question had been directed - hums for a moment. "I think - the time travel," he says. "That bit. Wouldn't do it."
The reporter frowns. "But wasn't it your association with the, quote, 'Legends of Tomorrow' that originally propelled you on your current path towards politics and, eventually, your present run for President?"
"Yeah," Mick says glumly. "Exactly."
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Technically, it's a bit more complicated than that.
First, of course, there was the Flash. Everything always starts there - oh, shut up with your stupid 'Green Arrow was first' bullcrap, no one cares that he was first because he was just some weird serial killing vigilante to start off with, and anyway barely anyone outside of Starling (Star City, whatever) knew about it - because it was by watching the Flash's epic battles with what have come, retrospectively, to be known as his "Rogues" that Mick first became famous. He even had his own action figure, which most people running for president could only imagine happening in relation to political satire.
Of course, back then they called him Heatwave.
Then Snart - that's Captain Cold to you, reporter - had the bright idea of hooking up with some time travelers for a lark. Mick hadn't thought much of the idea at the time, even tried to quit a few times - quit with prejudice, one might say, and there'd been that whole Kronos business that you're not finding out any more about, the news media already knows more than Mick would like on the subject - and it hadn't taken.
And then Snart died.
Yes, Mick is perfectly aware that Snart's back now, but for a while there he'd been absolutely and totally convinced that he was gone for good (he was dead - how was Mick supposed to know that it hadn't fully taken?!) and it'd been pretty shattering.
That was the period with the Legends. Saving history, fucking up history, all of that.
Yes, that's when he met Georgie Washington. Stop asking about it. Mick's already told you all he knows.
No, he refuses to go get him for the Inauguration, should it happen! The guy didn't even like politics towards the end of it! Leave Georgie alone!
Okay, maybe a dinosaur. Mick makes no promises.
Well, yeah. He guesses it would be pretty cool to ride to the White House on a dinosaur. You might have a point there.
Anyway, where was he? Oh, right, the Legends. Anyway, when the first alien attack came - the Dominators - Mick was there with the Legends. It was a state secret and all that at the time; that's when he got a pardon for everything he'd previously been involved with. Very hush-hush, though how the pres was planning on keeping the details of how a nation- or world-wide invasion was defeated a secret is anyone's guess. Sure, keep it a secret from the American media, that's one thing, but those British tabloids are vicious weasels that will stop at nothing.
Okay, yeah, Mick taking a selfie with a downed Dominator and posting it to Instagram - instantly making it one of the only good pictures anyone had of the damn things, which were resistant to being recorded on any type of media unless you did some special adjustments to the settings, like, say, the sort Gideon did automatically when upgrading their camera phones, and by sheer scarcity thereby became famous worldwide as the definitive Dominator photo - probably didn't help with the whole secrecy thing.
Hell yeah Mick's going to put a copy of that in the White House if he wins, you kidding? That picture won photo of the year, and that was the year of the solar eclipse, so it had some pretty stiff competition.
Anyway, yeah, that's how Mick's rep started shifting from supervillain to - you know what, let's just avoid any use of the terms 'superhero' (Mick is not) or 'hero' (also not).
Good guy?
Ugh. Fine. Out of lack of better options.
Anyhoo, that's when the buzz started, y'know? A couple of pranksters - whose names shall remain nameless but who know exactly who they are, Barry Allen and Cisco Ramon - uh, that last part's off the record - anyway, these fucking assholes decided to start up a fake Super PAC called 'Heatwave for President'.
Yeah, Mick knows it was just meant as a contrast to the current incumbent. Sort of a "if this idiot can become president, why not Heatwave the famous supervillain" sort of deal. Mick's cool with that. It was a funny joke and, yeah, the incumbent was worse than useless. You'd think getting the job when your predecessor was shot by aliens would give them the sympathy vote, at least for a bit, but wow did they blow it. Who the fuck tries to kill health care for kids as their first official push in action? Seriously, who?
Yeah, you can definitely write that down. “Mick Rory still ticked off about asshole move”. Honestly, just keep that handy for copy-paste purposes, it’s probably going to be relevant a lot in the future.
What? No, Mick hadn’t thought about running for office as far back as the whole joke Super PAC thing. Mick was traveling through space and time at that time. Keep your chronology straight. If Mick can do it – and, again, not to over-emphasize this, but do you know how hard it is to keep track of time on a time-traveling spaceship? – then you can do it when you've got your feet firmly set down on planet earth in a consistent timeline.
So yeah, things were going along that way, Mick with the Legends, going around, doing shit, messing shit up, fighting with people. The whole thing wasn't exactly all sunshine and roses, but they did well enough. Well, they managed to keep the timeline more or less intact, at least.
No, you wouldn’t know it if they’d failed. Time doesn’t work that way.
No, the current incumbent isn’t a result of a horrific failure by time travelers to prevent an evil catastrophe from –
Huh. You know what, Mick’s not going to give a definitive answer on that one. Just assume that if the Legends had failed, things would be even worse.
No comment on North Korea. Just – no comment. Ever.
Yes, ever.
The Legends are on it, okay?!
Not the point Mick was trying to get at here. More what he was trying to get at is – Len. Snart. Captain Cold.
Fuck it, Mick's just calling him Len for the rest of this interview -
Yes, thank you Len, your commentary that you are “always the point” is incredibly helpful here.
Fucking drama queens.
Anyway.
That's about when it turns out (or rather, when they all discover) that Len didn’t, in fact, die – or maybe he did, and it got reversed, or something like that – and he ended up in a different universe. Fighting Nazis.
Listen, if there’s one thing that Mick’s going to take a permanent never-gonna-change-it-no-matter-what-new-evidence-appears-no-matter-what position on, it’s gonna be Nazis. Mick fucking hates Nazis.
Yes, neo-Nazis count.
Yes, they have a First Amendment right to free speech, meaning no government oppression.
Yes, Mick realizes that means he’ll have to stop punching them all the time if he gets elected President. It’s okay. He’s sure that some fine, upstanding people will take up the slack and keep on the good work for him.
Listen, if Super PACs are “sufficiently unrelated” to a presidential campaign to raise money on behalf of some asshole – and yes, Mick’s counting himself here – then the Nazi-Punching Party which endorsed Mick and which he may or may not go to regular meetings of is “sufficiently unrelated” for the purposes of government oppression of free speech. You get me?
Fine, Mick will probably stop attending meetings.
Probably.
Len can still go, though, right?
See, Lenny, you can still go. Bring a goddamn camera.
Fuck, being President is going to be no fun at all. Why is he doing this again?
Oh, right, because the World’s Worst Caricature is running for office and the Legends and Gideon have all agreed that letting that guy get elected would literally mean the end of the world. That’s it, kaput, no more history, everyone’s all back to using sticks to write in the dirt again – what weird mutated creatures are left over anyway.
Ugh.
Trust Mick, you don't want to see the things Mick has seen. It's bad.
Mick would like it known that he does not approve of things going in a political drama-slash-mutated creature sort of way. Sci-fi was always more Len’s things. Mick prefers ninjas.
Yeah, that meeting with Tokyo’s Prime Minister went awesomely, why do you ask?
Shut up, Len. There was some discussion of policy; it wasn’t all about what classic ninja movie was the best. Though the last five hours were definitely all movie marathon. Not gonna lie.
Where was he?
Right, Len. Fighting Nazis. Terrible nearly world-ending invasion of the present Earth by the Nazi forces of that Earth, including the superhero and meta equivalents, repelled only by the combined forces of basically everybody.
Len and Mick teamed up to save the day, just like old times.
Okay, old times, they teamed up to steal things. Basically the same thing.
Listen, Nazis from another dimension invaded. That trumps everything.
For anyone other than the current incumbent, anyway. Fuckhead.
Yes, that’s on the record.
What? What the fuck is “Presidential decorum”? Listen, you, unlike you, Mick’s actually met George Washington, and if you think that every three words he uttered wasn’t some variation of ‘fuck’, ‘shit’, or ‘damn’, then that’s just because you’re reading the cleaned up history version. He was a soldier. And before he was a soldier, he was a surveyor, which as far as Mick can tell means “walked out into the forest with a compass and came back out hating bears”, and if that doesn’t make a man swear, then nothing will.
No comment on whether or not Mick hooked up with him.
Just give up. You’re never going to get a comment.
So while everybody else was being scared shitless at how the Nazis from another dimension – and yeah, Mick’s perfectly aware that the usual term is “another Earth”, but fuck it, “another dimension” sounds like a crappy 1950s sci-fi “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes” and makes Len grin every time, so Mick’s sticking with it – were invading, especially when they got all the white supremacists on this Earth to join up with them, taking advantage of all those so-easy gun laws to arm up into an actual local army, the current incumbent decided to throw a temper tantrum because the attention wasn’t 100% focused on them for five fricking minutes.
Also, Mick’s pretty sure they’re actually not-so-secretly a Nazi supporter. All that talk of cooperating and seeing what they have to say and how they were “good people” – total fucking crap, obviously. That asshole was probably disappointed when Mick and Len had their Moment of Awesome sending them all back to where they came, right into the trap Len’d been setting up with the other resistance forces on that Earth.
Either way, as everyone knows, as soon as the Nazis were gone, the next thing the current incumbent decided to do was push a horrible law outlawing any metahumans – and they defined metahumans in the stupidest possible way, and all because they wanted it to cover people who actually didn’t have any powers like Len and Mick, which didn’t even make sense – and trying to make Earth-1 full on fascist.
Yeah, fascist. They put lots of fancy words and stuff – no, that’s not right, their speechwriters put fancy words and stuff around it, but that law was – is – fucking dystopia nightmare fuel right there, okay?
Listen, Mick literally has someone from 2042 going around and testifying to how awful that law makes literally everything. What more evidence do you fucking need?
So, yeah. Horrible future. World's Worst Caricature running for office, almost certain to pass it if they get in.
And that means -
Someone was gonna have to man up (woman up? non-gender up? human up? wait, is the last one specieist?) to stop it.
Now, you’d think the other party would do something about that, wouldn’t they? But noooo, they decide to shoot themselves in the foot by nominating some old geezer taking a hard line about how everything’s going to change now that everyone’s “together” – never mind the details, togetherness is what’s important, right guys? the movement's gonna fix everything! because it's a revolution! of feelings! Of all the dumbass hippie-dippie crap... – and coming up with increasingly more stupid ideas that wouldn't work. Doesn't matter, of course, Mick was all set to vote for the fucker anyway, along with everyone else, just to keep Worst Caricature outta office, but no. See, then, three fucking months before the election, the asshole gets found out to be corrupt as fuck! Except he won’t resign and let anyone else run! And his fanboys have made their way into the levers of power, so the party can’t kick him out, either! And all the goddamn ballots have already gone to the printers!
That’s how this whole thing really got started, you know. Three fucking months, and the only other person who’d been entered to run for President in all 50 states before the deadline passed is – you guessed – Heatwave for President.
Fucking hell.
At the time, the entire freaking organization was being run by the people who now make up Mick’s circle of advisors – Felicity Smoak, Oliver Queen, Barry Allen, Cisco Ramon, Caitlin Snow, and Iris West – because they’d all thought it was freaking funny or something, and everyone suddenly had to change gears real fast to try to make it into an actual thing.
Not that anyone thought it would work. You know, they just thought - might as well give it a try. Can't just roll over and give in; gotta go for the Hail Mary pass if that's all that's left to you.
No one actually thought it would work.
At least, no one thought it would work until the polls started changing. First time they polled it, Mick got, like, 5%.
Second time they polled it, he got 30%.
Now he’s somewhere near 50%.
Jesus.
If Mick wins, Mick’s taking a weekend to go sit quietly in a room and hyperventilate for, like, an hour.
Thanks for the hug, Len. Means a lot; Mick knows very well how much you hate public displays of affection. Or emotion. Or anything but drama, drama, drama.
Huh? Yeah, Len and Mick are partners. They’ve always been upfront and clear about that.
No – no – partners.
Yes, criminal partners. But also, you know, partner partners. If you get what Mick’s saying.
Oh, for fuck’s sake, they’re married. Len’s going to be the First Supervillain or whatever they call it when it’s a guy.
What do you mean, nobody…? It’s fucking legal and everything! Central City’s Hall of Records has a copy of the goddamn certificate!
…oh, okay, yeah. Fair point. Can’t even imagine the type of backlog you’d have to go through to get Central City bureaucracy to do anything, much less respond to a freaking FOIA request. They'll probably get around to responding to it sometime in the 2030s.
You mean people really didn’t know?
Huh.
Well, that’s gonna surprise a lot of people, then.
First ever non-straight resident of the White House? Don’t be ridiculous. Haven’t you met Lincoln?
Right. Not everyone time travels. Sorry, keep forgetting.
Yes, Mick’s met Lincoln.
No, Mick’s not going to comment on if he hooked up with him, either. Jesus. Stop asking.
Why hadn’t Mick mentioned meeting Lincoln before? Because it wasn’t important? It never came up!
It’s not like anyone asked for a listing of all the time eras he’s visited!
Of course the Legends never mentioned it; it wasn’t when Mick was with them. It was during his Kronos period. Listen, it’s a long story, okay? And they’re getting close to actually starting to yell out states, so maybe everyone should pay attention to that instead.
Yes, Mick is totally aware that he’s being weaselly. He’s a politician now. He’s allowed to be weaselly sometime.
What’s everyone got against weasels, anyway? Perfectly nice animals.
Mick has a pet rat, you know. If Mick wins – yes, he’s still using fucking “if”, nothing gets decided until we hit Ohio and Florida, Iris – does that make Ratigan the First Pet or something now?
Is there a First Pet position?
Wait, there is? Kickass.
Never been a rat before? So what? Mick’s got nothing against dogs, you know, but he doesn’t have a dog. He has a rat. People will just have to deal.
Heh. Not Mick’s fault you don’t know what part of this interview you should make the headline.
…thank you, Len, he’s not going to go with “Bisexual Rat-Owner Wins Presidency; Husband Approves”.
No, “President-Elect Uses ‘Fuck’ More Often In Last-Minute Interview Than Any Prior Candidate” isn’t a good choice either, Iris. Probably historically inaccurate, too; LBJ was real big on the whole swearing thing - no comment on the hook-ups! Jesus!
What? No, Ramon, no one is running a headline that goes “Time Traveler Confirms Academic Suspicions Regarding Lincoln’s Sexuality”. No one cares!
Fine, maybe the history journals care. But no one else. Not like it’s a big deal. People can sleep with whoever they want.
Oh, it’s still a big deal in some ways? That sucks. Okay, that’s going on the agenda of things to do to fix in the next four years.
Eight years?
No.
Yes, he means it! Why the hell would he run for office twice? How bad can the next option be?!
And Sara just ran into the room. Please say that you’re not here to tell everyone that some horrible thing has happened in the future that –
Actually, never mind. Please be here to tell everyone that some horrible thing has happened in the future and that you desperately need everyone here to go take care of it immediately.
No?
Damn.
Wait.
What do you mean, Mick won?
Oh fuck.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So, what are you planning on doing now, Mr. President-Elect?” the reporter asks, beaming like a maniac, as the giant television shows the explosive celebrations occurring immediately outside – literally explosive, since Mick had insisted on bonfires and fireworks and at least four different pyrotechnics teams. “What’s your first move?”
"What kind of question is that?" Iris laughs as Barry swings her around. “We can worry about that tomorrow! Tonight we party!”
“The world is saved!” Cisco cheers.
“I’m doomed,” Mick says, his head rolling back. “They’re never gonna let me quit.”
“Probably not,” Len, who is perched right next to him, says to him, not without sympathy. “But it’s okay. I’ll do the work for you.”
“You’re the best, boss,” Mick says, not without feeling. “Why couldn’t you have been Vice President?”
“Because they can’t be in the same building for too long,” Len explains. "Meteorite strikes."
"Oh," Mick says glumly. "Right."
Len pats Mick’s arm comfortingly. “Don’t worry. There’s a long, storied precedent of First – uh, First Spouses – running the joint for their husbands.”
“Damn right there is,” Mick says, rubbing his face. “Thank god for Woodrow Wilson, that's all I'm saying - don't you even ask," he warns the reporter.
“Besides,” Len continues, sounding quite practical. “Sara makes a great Vice President. After all, if you die, who would you want to avenge your murder if not Sara?”
Mick nods.
“Um,” the reporter says, blinking at the two of them. “That’s…not what a Vice President does?”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“…moderately sure. I’ve been reporting on political matters for a long time now.”
“If it makes you feel better, I’m pretty sure she’s gonna let Jax, Stein and Ray do most of her work,” Len offers. “Even after all that trouble we had to go to in order to get her declared alive again…”
“It…really doesn’t,” the reporter says. “But thanks for the update?”
“No problem,” Len says. “C’mon, Mick. Let’s go watch things burn.”
Mick brightens and climbs to his feet.
“Hey,” Len asks the reporter, “you’re the politico here. Do Presidential spouses get immunity from prosecution?”
The reporter frowns. “Why?”
“No stealing stuff, Snart,” Barry says.
“Oh, fine.”
“For four years.”
“Wait, what?!”
"You're a role model now!"
"No! I refuse!"
"Too late now," Iris cackles.
Mick starts laughing. “Well,” he says, looping an arm around Len’s waist and dragging him towards the flame, Len’s face still frozen in a rictus of horror. “At least I won’t be the only one suffering!”
“Look on the bright side!” the reporter shouts after them. “Politicians are basically just thieves on a much larger scale!”
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Why Our Reliance on Cars Could Start Booming
— BBC News | Mark Johanson | Worklife | December 3, 2020
Until earlier this year, Alley Vandenbergwas a regular bus rider. She’d wake up each morning and take line 15 from her apartment in the City Park neighbourhood of Denver, Colorado, to her office at a financial institution in the bustling Civic Center Plaza. Because the commute was just 2.5 miles (4km), the investment supervisor left her car at home so she could avoid the hassle of driving through the heart of downtown at rush hour. It also saved her the $200 cost of monthly parking. Then, the pandemic threw a major wrench into her seamless commute.
“In May, when my office started asking people to return, my bus route had been cut to fewer runs, and capped at 15 riders per bus,” she says. Pre-Covid-19, the bus was always standing room only by the time it got to her, “so I knew I would just end up sitting at the bus stop for an hour or two, watching buses go by because they were already at capacity”.
This, coupled with news of riders not following guidelines for mask-wearing and social distancing, led her to swallow the additional costs and commute to work by car.
She’s hardly alone in making the change. Ridership on public transport has plummeted to historic lows both in the Americas and Europe, including on the London Underground and New York City Subway. Meanwhile, recent reports suggest that, despite our apparent embrace of biking and walking during the pandemic, many people can’t wait to get back into their vehicles. And they might even use them more after Covid-19 passes. Transport planners warn that this rapid shift back to the comfort of cars may be setting the stage for post-pandemic gridlock that could hamper economic recovery in cities across the globe.
A November report by automotive-services company RAC claims that the pandemic may have set the UK back decades in attitudes of driving versus taking public transport. Out of the 3,000 car owners surveyed, 68% considered their vehicles essential for daily errands, up from 54% last year.
Reluctance to use public transport was at its highest in 18 years. Some 54% of respondents said safety was a top consideration, but only 43% agreed that they would use their cars less if public transport was improved, which was the lowest figure since 2002. “The pandemic had the effect of making drivers who already had cars realise that they would depend on them more than ever,” says Rod Dennis, a data-insight spokesperson for RAC. “The million-dollar question is whether or not this is a deep-rooted change.”
The generation that has been historically least interested in car ownership, Gen Z, may offer some clues. Auto Trader, a digital marketplace for cars, says 15% of its website audience in the UK between June and September was aged 18 to 24, compared to just 6% during the same period in 2019. Rory Reid, Auto Trader UK’s YouTube director, noted that “the pandemic has shifted young people’s views of car ownership and gotten them to hit the road earlier than usual, as they look to rely less on public transport and try to minimise risk of spreading coronavirus”.
And, perhaps surprisingly, fears over the potential environmental risks of increased car use don’t seem to be a top concern for many around the world. A YouGov-Cambridge Globalism Project survey of 26,000 people from 25 countries showed that an overwhelming majority accept human responsibility for climate change. Yet the poll, conducted between July and August, found that the majority of respondents also plan to drive more in the future than they did in the past. For example, take Brazil, where 88% of respondents believed in human-induced climate change. Some 60% of those same people said they would use their car more after the pandemic than before, while just 12% said they would use it less. More than 40% of respondents in the US and Australia also said they would drive more after the pandemic compared to just 10% who said they’d drive less.
Car traffic, in some places, has already exceeded pre-pandemic levels. Greater Paris hit record levels in late October ahead of a new national lockdown, with jams stretching to a cumulative 430 miles. Road congestion levels in outer London have increased nearly a fifth above last year. Traffic in Perth, Australia, is now 18% above pre-pandemic levels.
Many leaders around the world, most notably President-elect Joe Biden in the US, have announced aggressive plans for an economic recovery spurred by investments in green energy. However, these figures suggest targets set by the Paris Agreement may already be in jeopardy.
Concern over the safety of public transport has been one of the major factors luring people into cars in recent months. However, studies in France, Japan and Austria that have looked at the first wave of the virus have shown little evidence tying major coronavirus outbreaks to buses or trains. On the contrary, these studies showed that, with measures like social distancing and mask wearing in place, infections on public transit were actually quite rare.
Nevertheless, transit administrators have worked around the clock to enact new safety measures aimed at luring back riders. These include reducing capacity, enhancing sanitation measures and tapping into technological innovations. The latter has been a major focus of New York’s Metropolitan Transportation Authority (MTA). It moved more than a billion people in 2019. However, earlier this year, year-on-year ridership dropped by as much as 93%. At the same time, new car registrations in the city climbed 18% above 2019 levels.
Transit Innovation Partnership, a public-private initiative from MTA and the non-profit Partnership for New York City, released a live subway map in October to eliminate paper maps and notices as well as aid with ease of travel. It also launched a Covid-19 Response Challenge in July, which received nearly 200 ideas for innovations that could increase customer confidence by making transit safer, healthier and more responsive. Eight winning companies are currently demoing their technologies, such as air-filtration solutions, antimicrobial LED lights and real-time passenger crowding data.
“It’s absolutely critical to empower the transit agencies to be able to try these new solutions with a strategic approach and move forward,” says executive director Rachel Haot. “There is no going back to how things were before, so we need a completely new framework, and that’s going to require change.”
As a result of this experimentation, as well as strong health-messaging campaigns and steps to encourage mask use, ridership on the subway has steadily increased. But it still remains about 65% lower than last year. Like so many transit systems around the world, the MTA is now facing a financial crisis due to the huge loss of operating revenues.
Kate Laing, programme manager of mobility management at climate leadership group C40 Cities, says transit systems will likely have to slash operations if they can’t come up with the money. She adds, “They will almost certainly find themselves having to cut services in areas where they don’t have guaranteed fares, so we’ll see a welfare and accessibility and equity disbenefit as a result."
A pre-pandemic study from Pew Research Center showed that one in 10 Americans use public transport on a daily or weekly basis, mostly in the metropolitan areas of New York, Los Angeles, Chicago, San Francisco and Washington DC. Among those urban dwellers, 34% of black residents and 27% of Latinos reported taking public transit, compared to just 14% of white residents – meaning any cuts could hit people of colour the hardest.
Additional people in cars, and not on public transit, could mean more than just environmental and infrastructure impacts. Gridlock can act like a hand brake on the economy, hampering the flow of workers and goods. Consequentially, cities that include investment in public transport as a core pillar of their economic recovery – and continue to infuse money into beleaguered systems after the pandemic wanes – will likely fare better than those that don’t, says Laing. She adds it will also be key to find ways in 2021 to incentivise public transport use, since the decisions we make to get on it are typically based around time and cost.
“Everyone loves driving, except when everyone else drives,” she explains. “When we take the bus, it’s because it’s a hell of an inconvenience to take a car because you can’t park, or it’s just too expensive or you can’t afford one in the first place.”
To avoid post-pandemic gridlock, she says, cities need to “put in place measures that make it inconvenient to make a bad choice and really convenient to make a good one”. These include investing in bus and bike lanes, charging fees for street parking, maintaining new outdoor dining zones and, once economies bounce back again, looking into congestion pricing.
Could measures like these lure back those who’ve avoided public transport due to service cuts and safety fears? Vandenberg, the investment supervisor in Denver, says that “once we have a vaccine and things are under control, I'd definitely be willing to look into public transportation again”.
For her, the car commute remains a temporary fix. But for many, it’s a shift that’s becoming more ingrained by the day.
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13 Best Elementor Themes (According to Elementor!) in 2020
Looking for the best Elementor themes?
If you’re here, you’ve probably decided to join the three million plus other people using the Elementor page builder plugin.
However, if you want to build a custom website with Elementor (affiliate link), you need more than just the plugin — you also need a theme!
But here’s the thing:
Some themes work better than others with Elementor. It’s just not about basic compatibility (though that’s important!), it’s also about helpful features, like page-level controls to create the perfect canvas for your Elementor designs or importable demo sites built with Elementor.
So how do you pick the best Elementor theme?
Well, Elementor has a public list of themes that “work best with Elementor”, but it’s pretty barebones.
To make your decision a lot easier, we’re going to take that same list from Elementor, add a little curation, and break down each theme by the features that matter most to you.
And, if that’s not enough to help you make your decision, we’ll also share some data from a poll of over 800 Elementor users.
By the end of this post, you should be able to pick the right theme to set your Elementor website up for success.
Let’s jump in.
The 13 Best Elementor Themes
Hello Elementor
Astra
GeneratePress
OceanWP
Neve
Sydney
Rife
Page Builder Framework
Zakra
Phlox
Ashe
Hestia
Jupiter X
1. Hello Elementor
Overview of Hello Elementor
Hello Elementor (affiliate link) is the official theme from the Elementor team. It’s designed to provide the most lightweight foundation possible to pair with Elementor Pro (affilate link) and Elementor Theme Builder. To achieve that, it doesn’t come with any of its own styling, which is why the screenshot above looks so basic.
Think of it as a 100% blank canvas for your Elementor Pro Theme Builder templates.
Standout Features of Hello Elementor
Built to pair with Elementor Pro and Theme Builder
The most lightweight theme possible
…there’s not much else to say. The standout feature of this theme is that it has no features of its own!
What Users are Saying About Hello Elementor
After spending more than a decade working in WordPress and spending several thousand dollars on themes and packages, I have finally settled down with Hello Elementor.
Hello Elementor is the last theme I am going to need to build beautiful websites using Elementor Pro.
Finally, I no longer have to jump around in theme settings anymore. Alok Sharma
Final Word on Hello Elementor
If you’re planning to use Elementor Theme Builder to design your entire theme, Hello Elementor is the best option if you want to create a lightweight, performance-friendly website.
However, if you’re not planning to use Theme Builder, this theme is not a viable option because it doesn’t include its own styling — it’s just a lightweight canvas for you to build on.
Download Hello Elementor
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2. Astra
Overview of Astra
Astra (affiliate link) is a lightweight, customizable, free theme that pairs exceptionally well with Elementor thanks to its page-level controls and detailed customization options. It also includes integrations with other WordPress plugins to help you create online stores or courses.
It’s active on over 600,000 sites while maintaining a perfect five-star rating, which makes it one of the most popular Elementor themes on this list.
There’s also a premium add-on that tacks on extra functionality, but the free version has quite a few bells and whistles built right in.
Standout Features of Astra
80+ importable demo sites built with Elementor
Detailed options to control page layout, typography, and styles in the WordPress Customizer
Page-level controls to disable headings, use full-width templates, customize your homepage, and more
Under 50 KB which makes it still quite lightweight
WooCommerce support for eCommerce
Native AMP support
SEO friendly (aka Google friendly)
Integrations with the LifterLMS and LearnDash LMS plugins for online courses
What Users are Saying About Astra
Astra is a simple, fully customizable & fast theme that I can wholeheartedly recommend to all Elementor users. I love the fact that it comes with dozens of pre-built sites that were built using Elementor and that can be used to create a full website with one click. Ben Pines, CMO of Elementor
Final Word on Astra
Based on my personal experience and the Elementor Facebook groups that I’m in, Astra is probably the most popular theme that people pair with Elementor.
If you’re looking for a good multipurpose starting point, this is it. It offers a huge collection of pre-made demo sites built with Elementor, tons of customization options, and plenty of helpful integrations with other tools.
Download Astra
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3. GeneratePress
Overview of GeneratePress
If I had to describe GeneratePress in one word, it would be “lightweight”. It’s about as performance optimized as possible while still giving you multipurpose flexibility and tons of options in the WordPress Customizer.
Standout Features of
Page-level controls to disable headings, change widths, etc.
Less than 30 KB which is about as small as possible for an Elementor theme (I’ve tested it!)
Detailed customization options in the live customizer
Importable demo sites built with Elementor (only available with the premium add-on)
WooCommerce support for eCommerce
Lots of hooks to insert content or Elementor templates anywhere on your site (including your homepage)
What Users are Saying About
After switching from Thrive Themes FocusBlog to GeneratePress, my portfolio site’s page load times shrank from 1.877 seconds to 0.979 seconds. Colin Newcomer
Yes — that’s me, the guy writing this post. I use GeneratePress on my portfolio site.
Final Word on GeneratePress
GeneratePress is a great option if you value performance, which you should. Despite its lightweight package, it still gives you tons of customization options and you can use it for any type of website.
However, it doesn’t have quite as many design customization options as some other themes on this list, so there is still a small trade-off.
Download GeneratePress
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4. OceanWP
Overview of OceanWP
OceanWP is an incredibly flexible theme that comes with a dizzying array of style and customization options in the visual WordPress Customizer.
It’s still fairly lightweight, but it puts more emphasis on flexibility than achieving the absolute fastest foundation.
Standout Features of OceanWP
A huge number of style and page layout options in the WordPress Customizer
Page-level controls to create the perfect Elementor canvas
Detailed WooCommerce support (though many features require the premium version)
Includes a bunch of new Elementor widgets with the premium version
Search engine friendly (aka Google friendly)
Importable demo sites built with Elementor (in the premium version)
What Users are Saying About OceanWP
After spending money on fancy bloated themes I always come back to simple ones like OceanWP. Less is more. Works well with Elementor which seems to be the easiest graphical UI for designing web pages fast as on [sic] 2020. trovador
Final Word on OceanWP
If you want the absolute most style and customization options, then OceanWP might be the best Elementor theme for you. While GeneratePress and Astra both give you lots of options as well, OceanWP takes things even further.
However, you will sacrifice a bit of performance for that flexibility. OceanWP clocks in more around ~250 KB, whereas both Astra and GeneratePress are under 50 KB.
OceanWP does include a tool to conditionally disable scripts, though, which can help you make it a little leaner.
Download OceanWP
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5. Neve
Overview of Neve
Along with GeneratePress, Neve (affiliate link) is one of the most lightweight themes on this list, while still managing to pack in demo sites built with Elementor and tons of options in the WordPress Customizer.
There’s also a premium add-on that gives you more control over your header, footer, and WooCommerce store.
Standout Features of Neve
80+ importable demo sites, many of which are built with Elementor (though some also use Beaver Builder or the WordPress block editor, aka Gutenberg editor)
Under 30 KB in size, which, again, is about as small as it gets for a customizable Elementor WordPress theme
Page-level settings to control the canvas for your Elementor designs
Super flexible header builder (in the premium version)
WooCommerce compatibility
What Users are Saying About Neve
Because I work with Elementor, I needed a template that gives all the flexibility to create my site of dreams. Neve was of great help. I’m not that person who has information about HTML or CSS, so Neve was also of great help. Neve is a great template if you want all the flexibility and also to edit everything easy. David Romanowski
Final Word on Neve
Neve is another great option if you value performance but still don’t want to skimp on design flexibility. Along with GeneratePress, it’s one of the fastest themes that I’ve tested.
If you use Neve, I’d definitely recommend considering the premium add-on for its header and footer builders.
Download Neve
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6. Sydney
Overview of Sydney
Sydney is a flexible WordPress website theme that pairs well with Elementor.
Whereas many of the other Elementor themes on this list are multipurpose offerings that you can adapt to any niche, Sydney is specifically focused on helping small businesses and freelancers create an online presence.
Standout Features of Sydney
Focused on business websites
Detailed theme options in the WordPress Customizer
Responsive design
Includes custom Elementor blocks to help you control your design
Parallax background scrolling
Social media icons
What Users are Saying About Sydney
This theme caught my eye with its stunning beauty and interface. I believe it is one of the best looking and functioning free WordPress themes out there.
I have not done any coding in about 10 years, and was a little intimidated to design my own website through WordPress. Fortunately this theme was easy to set up and any time I ran into an issue, I was able to find similar questions already answered on the support forums. childersdavidson
Final Word on Sydney
Sydney is a great option if you want to build a business website with WordPress and Elementor. It’s not multipurpose like the other Elementor themes, but if you are looking to build a business website, that specificity can actually work in your favor.
Download Sydney
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7. Rife
Overview of Rife
Rife brands itself as a “creative multipurpose” theme and you can see evidence of that aesthetic in the seven importable demo sites, all of which are built with Elementor.
The same developer also offers an Elementor extension plugin with the same name that adds new templates and custom widgets.
Standout Features of Rife
Seven free importable demo sites built with Elementor (40 demos available in Pro version)
Detailed style and layout controls in the WordPress Customizer
Creative aesthetic
Companion WordPress plugin that adds more templates and further extends Elementor
WooCommerce compatibility
Mega menu support
What Users are Saying About Rife
The clear layout of this theme accommodates many applications. Through its feature-rich options you can use this theme to deliver professional websites that are awe-inspiring.
I have used both paid and free products from this designer/author and have been fully satisfied with their products! ryazhari
Final Word on Rife
While you can use Rife for any niche, you can definitely see its creative focus evident in the demo sites and templates. For that reason, I think Rife makes an especially good option if you are looking to build a creative site, like a photography portfolio.
Download Rife
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8. Page Builder Framework
Overview of Page Builder Framework
As the name suggests, Page Builder Framework is built specifically to pair with WordPress page builder plugins, including Elementor.
The basic idea is that you use Page Builder Framework to control your header, footer, and other non-content areas. Then, you can use Elementor for everything else.
The core features are available in the free theme, and there’s also a premium add-on with more features.
Standout Features of Page Builder Framework
Under 50 KB in size, which is still quite lightweight even if it’s not on GeneratePress and Neve’s level
Uses the WordPress Customizer for easy tweaking
Mobile responsive
Multiple navigation menu options
Page-level controls to control your page builder canvas
WooCommerce and WPML support
What Users are Saying About Page Builder Framework
No other theme I have tried works that a) fast and b) stable. I had OceanWP, Astra, Hello and many many others. That theme will stay with me for good. AND: I like that it has been developed by a true coding enthusiast who knows what matters when it comes to speed AND reliability. neuspurcom
Final Word on Page Builder Framework
Page Builder Framework is specifically built to pair with Elementor (and other page builders), so it’s got everything that you need and nothing that you don’t. You can use Elementor to build out your content areas while leaving everything else to Page Builder Framework.
It’s the same basic approach as a theme like GeneratePress or Astra, though, so your decision should really come down to whether you like Page Builder Framework’s unique cocktail of customization options more than the others.
Download Page Builder Framework
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9. Zakra
Overview of Zakra
Zakra is another lightweight multipurpose theme in the vein of GeneratePress and Neve. At 37.2 KB, it’s performance friendly, but it also doesn’t skimp on customization options and comes with tons of pre-built demo sites built with Elementor.
Standout Features of Zakra
10 free importable demo sites built with Elementor (30+ in Pro version)
Detailed style and layout options in the WordPress Customizer
Page-level options to control your Elementor canvas
Responsive design
WooCommerce integration
AMP ready
What Users are Saying About Zakra
This theme was exactly what I needed. I imported one of their custom pages and then customizaded [sic] and tweek [sic] it to meeet [sic] my needs. I found the combination of Zakra and Elementor really powerful. alvarowh
Final Word on Zakra
Zakra hasn’t been around for as long as something like Astra, but it’s quickly made a name for itself and offers another great option if you want a lightweight, multipurpose theme to go underneath Elementor.
If one of the demo sites catches your eye, you should give it a go.
Download Zakra
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10. Phlox
Overview of Phlox
Phlox is a popular Elementor theme that focuses on design flexibility and style. It includes a huge array of importable demo sites built with Elementor, as well as 30+ exclusive Elementor widgets that you can use in your designs.
Standout Features of Phlox
100+ pre-made demo sites built with Elementor (not all are free)
30+ new Elementor widgets
40+ page templates (beyond the full demo sites)
Focus on style and creative design freedom
Translation & RTL ready
What Users are Saying About Phlox
Phlox is a great multi-purpose theme which works best with Elementor, it has more than 35 exclusive elements, complete demos for Elementor with 1-click demo importer, and I can say Phlox is perfect for creating any kind of website with ease. Ben Pines, CMO of Elementor
Final Word on Phlox
Phlox puts more emphasis on style and design flexibility than creating the most lightweight foundation possible, which is a philosophical difference between it and a lot of the other Elementor themes on this list.
If you’re willing to sacrifice a little performance for that creative freedom, Phlox might be the theme for you.
Download Phlox
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11. Ashe
Overview of Ashe
Like Sydney, Ashe bucks the multipurpose trend of themes on this list, instead opting to focus specifically on blogging. It has a nice minimal design that works great for all different kinds of WordPress blogs.
Standout Features of Ashe
Minimal design style with lots of white space
Responsive design
Multiple blog layout options in the WordPress Customizer
WooCommerce ready
What Users are Saying About Ashe
I tried many themes for my cooking blog, none of them worked except for Ashe. Very useful, very easy to customize with amazing features! I had a lot of fun customizing my blog. So satisfied. Moreover, they offer perfect and fast support whenever needed. mygratitudecatalogue
Final Word on Ashe
Ashe is a little bit more niche-focused than the other Elementor themes, but I would say that it’s a great option if you’re looking to make a blog in the fashion, lifestyle, or creative niches.
Download Ashe
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12. Hestia
Overview of Hestia
Hestia is a multipurpose WordPress theme that implements material design principles, which gives it a unique look in comparison to many of the other themes on this list. It also uses a one-page design out-of-the-box, which is another unique feature.
Hestia comes from the same developer as the Neve theme from earlier on this list.
Standout Features of Hestia
Material design styling
One-page design
WooCommerce compatible
SEO friendly (aka Google friendly)
Four importable demo sites, some of which use Elementor
Mega menu support
What Users are Saying About Hestia
Going from Hestia Free to Hestia Pro helped us to make a better landing page without any third-party plugins. Combined with Elementor, we’re able to design all we want. Vincent Duvernet
Final Word on Hestia
The main reason to use Hestia over the other options on this list is if you like the material design styling. If you do, go with Hestia. Otherwise, you might prefer a more flexible theme to pair with Elementor.
Download Hestia
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13. Jupiter X
Overview of Jupiter X
Jupiter X is one of the all-time best-selling themes at ThemeForest, where it’s been purchased over 131,000 times.
It includes a massive collection of 290+ pre-made websites built with Elementor, as well as tons of detailed customization options.
Jupiter X costs $59, which gets you lifetime updates and six months of support.
Standout Features of Jupiter X
290+ importable demo sites built with Elementor
20+ pre-built header options, plus detailed header customization options
Visual footer editor
100+ block templates
Custom Elementor widgets for forms and other content elements
Mega menu builder
Includes tons of other Elementor extensions, including the Jet plugins for Elementor
What Users are Saying About Jupiter X
Not only does Jupiter X offers [sic] plenty of pre-made templates — Jupiter X is also really easy to use when you first get a hang of it. MarieW
Final Word on Jupiter X
The most unique thing about Jupiter X is its absolutely massive collection of 290+ pre-made websites built with Elementor. If you see a site you like, you can import it, tweak the content with Elementor, and be up and running in no time.
It also includes JetPlugins for Elementor which extends Elementor with a ton of new functionality that you can use in your designs. This bundled functionality can replace the need to purchase Elementor Pro.
All in all, if you like the abundance of demo sites, bundled plugins, and customization options, Jupiter X has a lot to offer.
However, it’s a bit bloated as compared to the more lightweight options like GeneratePress and Astra. If you value performance, I’d probably pick a different theme.
Download Jupiter X
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Still Unsure? Here’s How 800+ People Voted
Still unsure which of these Elementor themes to choose for your site?
Don’t worry — you’re not alone!
There’s actually an entire Facebook group dedicated to the topic. It’s called Elementor + Which Theme? and it has over 3,800 members who were similarly vexed about how to pick the best Elementor theme for their websites.
If you’re still struggling with which theme to choose, here’s what the wisdom of the crowds says from a poll with over 800 responses:
Astra — 320 votes
OceanWP — 258 votes
GeneratePress — 169 votes
Page Builder Framework — 28 votes
That poll is a little old, so here’s the data from the new version of the poll in 2020, which doesn’t have quite as many responses yet:
Hello — 19 votes
Astra — 15 votes
OceanWP — 12 votes
GeneratePress — 4 votes
Zakra — 1 vote
Based on those two polls (and my own experience), Astra makes a great starting point if you’re still on the fence. It offers an enticing combination of “design flexibility + performance optimization” that’s tough to beat.
Unless, that is, you want to build your entire theme with Elementor Pro Theme Builder, in which case Elementor Hello might be a better choice.
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Pick One of These Elementor Themes and Get Started!
Elementor gives you the power to design your content with a visual, drag-and-drop page builder, but you still need to pair it with a quality WordPress theme.
With one of the Elementor themes on this list, you can be confident that your Elementor content has a foundation that sets it up for success.
All you need to do is pick the best WordPress theme that’s right for you, install it, and start building out your site!
About the author: Colin Newcomer is a freelance writer for hire with a background in SEO and affiliate marketing. He helps clients grow their web visibility by writing primarily about digital marketing and WordPress. In his spare time, he travels and curates graphic t-shirts.
The post 13 Best Elementor Themes (According to Elementor!) in 2020 appeared first on Smart Blogger.
from SEO and SM Tips https://smartblogger.com/best-elementor-themes/
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What Are The X-Factors That Could Change The Results In Iowa?
Welcome to a special edition of FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.
sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Our last politics chat before the 2020 Democratic primary kicks off!! And we’re talking Election X factors! Or what things we should be looking at, besides the polls (and our forecast), that could affect who wins on Monday?
geoffrey.skelley (Geoffrey Skelley, elections analyst): To me, in a race that is so close, the number of precincts in which a candidate is either ahead or falling short of the viability threshold – 15 percent at most caucus sites — seems like it could be really important for what happens on Monday. Because say, someone like Bernie Sanders, if his support is concentrated in more urban areas or college towns, does that mean someone like Joe Biden could get more delegate support because he has backing across more rural areas? I don’t know.
nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): Yeah, and related to that point: The polls only measure voters’ initial preferences. But caucusgoers are allowed to realign if their candidate doesn’t meet the viability threshold, and then, of course, the delegates awarded are based on that post-realignment total.
In other words, the polls can’t really tell us exactly how votes will translate into delegates. So it will matter whose support is distributed the most efficiently.
sarahf: (Quick side note: For the first time, raw vote tallies from the first and second alignments will be released publicly, as well as the state delegate equivalents that a candidate earns. In the past, the party only reported the delegate tallies.)
ameliatd (Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux, senior writer): Well, and an interesting question along those lines, Geoffrey, is how much will turnout shape the final narrative? In the past, when raw vote totals weren’t released, candidates like Sanders didn’t have as much of an incentive to run up their numbers in places like college towns where they have lots of densely concentrated support. This year, that will be different, and it could make for some confusion when the delegate counts and the raw votes are in.
I’m also curious to see what kind of horse-trading will go on in the caucuses themselves!
geoffrey.skelley: Definitely true, Amelia. I’m looking forward to the possibility of a scenario where Sanders wins the post-realignment raw vote total, but Biden wins the delegate count.
ameliatd: That’s one of the things that makes caucuses so fascinating and unpredictable — people are literally trying to convince each other to join their side as it’s happening.
sarahf: And you’ll be there to see it in action, Amelia! That ought to be wild.
ameliatd: Yes! I will be on the ground at a precinct in Iowa City, which I think will be one of the hubs for a potential Warren/Sanders showdown. My Monday night is going to be full of drama.
sarahf: But play out that scenario you just mentioned, a little bit more, Geoff. How could it work that Sanders wins more votes, but Biden wins more delegates (and therefore Iowa)?
geoffrey.skelley: Basically, every precinct is worth a certain number of state delegate equivalents, which is used to determine delegate allocation for national delegates. So if you get particularly high turnout at a precinct near, say, the University of Iowa in Iowa City, Johnson County, that precinct’s value for delegate purposes is already set based on a calculation determined by the 2016 presidential and 2018 gubernatorial Democratic vote share in that precinct. So if Sanders gets like 500 of 600 voters there, it might have the same delegate value as Biden dominating in a different precinct with 150 voters if they are worth the same number of state delegate equivalents. In the 2016 caucuses, for instance, Hillary Clinton swept all 1.6 SDEs in a Waterloo, Iowa, precinct that had 141 people show up, while Sanders got 1.6 of 1.8 SDEs in an Iowa City precinct that had 646 participants. We can’t know what the “popular vote” was in those precincts in 2016 — that’s available for the first time this year — but the delegate value for the two candidates was pretty much the same, even though one precinct had far higher turnout.
nrakich: I’m curious — which of those measures will you guys be paying the most attention to?
sarahf: I mean … I find the whole “both sides could claim victory on caucus night” a bit disingenuous, or at the very least, there should be a heavy burden on the media to report it responsibly. Because you can’t claim victory from the pre-alignment vote total!! That’s not how caucuses work. (Now you can have quibbles with why Iowa caucuses in the first place sure, but this whole sowing confusion narrative bothers me. Let’s not sow confusion!)
nrakich: Why not, Sarah?
That’s the popular vote!
That’s how almost every other state does it, i.e., primary states.
It is the most small-d democratic.
sarahf: That’s true, but Iowa isn’t a primary state! And maybe caucuses should be banned for the reasons you outline (it is really time consuming to caucus), but it’s not like how the winner in Iowa is determined has changed. It’s still based on the number of state delegate equivalents a candidate wins, we’ll just get to see more inside the process, which as a journalist, I’m 100 percent in favor of. More data always, please.
But that means as journalists we have a responsibility to talk about the three different vote totals in the context of how they work within a caucus, e.g. don’t read too much into the pre-alignment vote, because this will change (not every candidate will have enough support to make it to the next round of voting). That vote is the most small-d democratic, as you say, but it’s also not how caucuses work, so we shouldn’t feed into that narrative! Although, I’m sure some candidates will. But whatever. Report the process; don’t sow confusion.
nrakich: My short argument for why the initial preference numbers are the most important is that they’re the best representation of how voters feel — kind of like a massive poll. The state delegate equivalents might matter more for delegate selection, but Iowa is a small state — the number of delegates a candidate gets there is less important than the momentum/vote of confidence he/she receives.
geoffrey.skelley: Right, Nathaniel — in fact, AAPOR (the American Association for Public Opinion Research) recommends that journalists compare poll results from this cycle to those pre-realignment numbers when considering the accuracy of polls.
clare.malone (Clare Malone, senior political writer): Here’s a pulled-out question, not related to thresholds: Is there anything that could happen in this last weekend to sway things one way or the other for voters still on the bubble? Is it good for the Democrats that all these senators aren’t going to be in the Senate for a drawn-out impeachment trial after all?
ameliatd: I have to imagine, Clare, that the senators are pretty excited about the prospect of getting back to Iowa. They’ve had surrogates campaigning on their behalf, but having the actual candidate there seems like a much better recipe for firing up their supporters — and that enthusiasm can really matter in the caucuses.
clare.malone: Another x-factor to mention: Could some big-name establishment Democrat speak out against Sanders? That sort of stuff has been floating around the past couple of weeks in news stories. It’s the kind of thing you could see happening on a Sunday show or a cable interview over the weekend.
sarahf: I mean, that’s a great question. In theory, Iowa always has at least a few polling surprises, but it’s also kind of hard for me to see Buttigieg, Warren or Amy Klobuchar making a big comeback at this point.
I know, never say never. But it’s hard for me to see this path — don’t @ me!!
Someone from the Democratic establishment speaking out against Sanders, on the other hand … that could be
.
Except Democrats would be smart to not have the spokesperson be Hillary Clinton. I feel like that Hollywood Reporter story about that new documentary where she dished on Sanders, and what it was like working with him in Congress, just fired up his base more than it actually hurt him.
nrakich: I don’t know if any figure in the party is big enough to matter, unless their last name is Obama.
And I don’t think either of the Obamas is going to weigh in at this point.
Mayyyybe if Sanders wins the first few states and he becomes the favorite to win the nomination …
geoffrey.skelley: Which could definitely happen — if he wins Iowa, he’ll be favored in New Hampshire and probably Nevada, too.
ameliatd: It would make sense to me if it were that the big establishment figures were biding their time to see how Sanders does in Iowa, and holding their fire until then.
clare.malone: I think the polling surprise is a great point, Sarah.
And considering the big Des Moines Register poll didn’t drop this weekend, we’re kind of in the dark as to where things could be headed. Hazard any guesses on potential surprises?
sarahf: I mean, we expect a few polls later today, but I was surprised in this last week that Buttigieg and Warren didn’t see more of an uptick. If anything, Warren actually ticked down more in our forecast this week despite the endorsement from the Des Moines Register, which should have helped her at least somewhat in the polls.
If anything, Klobuchar has started to do better. Granted she only has a 3 percent chance of winning the most votes in Iowa, but that’s been an interesting development to me anyways.
I mean … if anyone other than Sanders and Biden are in the top two at the end of the night on Monday, that’s an x-factor, right?
ameliatd: It’s all because of Klobuchar’s hot dish, Sarah. Never doubt the power of tater tots!
sarahf: Lol, that article.
nrakich: Klobuchar doing well would be an x-factor because I’m not sure there is room for FIVE front-runners. If Klobuchar surges, in my mind, someone like Buttigieg would have to crater.
As a reminder, we have never seen more than three candidates get more than 15 percent (the threshold required to get delegates) in any state before.
geoffrey.skelley: Definitely agree that it would be surprising if Biden or Sanders were not in the top two, but that’s certainly a possibility. With voters’ second-choice picks being really important in Iowa, I don’t want to totally discount anyone in the top four from winning, or anyone in the top five — so Klobuchar, too — from ending up in second or third.
And right now, we have three polling above 15 percent in Iowa and Warren just under that at 14 percent. Plus, Klobuchar is now right at 10 percent in our polling average.
perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): In some ways, I wonder if the buzz about Sanders’s potential to win Iowa and that victory catapulting him to the nomination happened a week or so too early for him. And it allowed his opponents within the party to hit him fairly hard, with an argument (electability) that Democratic voters really care about.
clare.malone: Ooooh, I like this take.
Interesting fodder!
And the idea that a person can have a “week too early” surge seems like a very Iowa phenom.
nrakich: It’s amazing how the timing of an election can matter. Random choices like whether the Iowa caucuses were this week or last week can make a big difference in who potentially gets elected leader of the free world.
ameliatd: Well, and a scenario like that could be especially helpful for Biden is that his supporters are generally older and perhaps more likely to caucus, too — although some of those folks aren’t necessarily regular caucusgoers.
perry: Buttigieg is even trying to get former Republicans to go to the caucuses. Those people are not going to support Sanders or Warren as a second choice.
geoffrey.skelley: Actually, age is one of the big questions about the caucus electorate — some polls have people under 50 making up as much as 47 percent of the electorate, which would be good news for Sanders, while others have it much lower than that. This has ramifications for each candidate’s poll numbers, but especially Sanders and Biden because their support at the age poles (oldest and youngest) are opposite of one another.
sarahf: So OK, say Sanders doesn’t win — because as Perry says, he peaked too early — does that put him a few points behind Biden … and Warren? Is there still room for her to be thought of as a moderate alternative to Sanders?
Perry: If the turnout is screwed young, I think Bernie will win. He really needs the electorate to be younger.
geoffrey.skelley: If Warren remains viable in most places, that actually could be quite bad for Sanders. And that’s because she’s the one whose backers are most likely to pick Sanders as their second choice. As the most recent Iowa State/Civiqs poll showed, 33 percent of Warren backers picked Sanders as their second choice, whereas no more than 11 percent of the other leading candidates’ backers chose Sanders as their top second choice.
nrakich: I mean, not to be that guy, Sarah, but in 80 percent of simulations in our model, Sanders could do anything from surge to 43 percent of the vote to drop to 11 percent in Iowa. And yeah, if he falls that far, he could finish below several other candidates (for the record, Warren’s range of outcomes in the 80-percent confidence interval is 3 percent to 31 percent).
ameliatd: I’m also really curious as to what will happen in places like Iowa City, which Bernie won handily in 2016. Obviously, a lot of 2016 Sanders’s voters are already supporting other candidates. But is it possible that all of the sudden focus on Bernie actually energizes his young lefty supporters and juices turnout even more?
Or, to answer your question, Sarah, maybe the attacks on Bernie prompt some progressive folks — the people who actually live and work in college towns, not the students — to give Warren a second look.
geoffrey.skelley: Thing is, because each precinct has a pre-assigned value based on the 2016-2018 Democratic vote, how much you can gain from juiced turnout near college campuses could be limited if it’s in select precincts.
nrakich: Right, which is why the actual preferences of Iowa voters is all that matters
sarahf: Lol, what about the possibility for technical glitches and the fact that Iowa is kind of sort of going to be making it easier to caucus this time around?
Do you think that’s an x-factor at all?
ameliatd: I’m a little skeptical of whether the satellite caucuses are actually going to make things easier. There are not that many of them, and they’re mostly in the middle of the day or the evening.
Of course, there will be a caucus in Tblisi, Georgia, which could really be what gives one of the candidates their edge.
geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, you still have to gather for a couple hours in the evening. Not like having ~12 hours to show up for 20 minutes and cast a ballot.
ameliatd: Or drop your ballot in the mail!
geoffrey.skelley: So I’m not expecting turnout to be crazy high.
nrakich: I think the overarching thing to remember here is that caucuses are always going to be harder to vote in than primaries. This article, about how difficult it can be for people with physical disabilities to caucus, really stuck with me.
#BanTheCaucus
sarahf: OK, rapid fire, final X-factors going into Monday. What do you think is super important to keep an eye on? I still think there’s got to be some kind of polling surprise that we just don’t know about yet, or wasn’t caught because there were a lot less polls this time around. …
nrakich: I think it will be whether the media makes a big deal out of “so-and-so winning Iowa,” even if he or she wins by just a fraction of a percentage point. To me, that is better thought of as a tie, but the way cable news tends to frame things as winners and losers could have a real impact on the narrative of which campaign is surging and which is struggling going into New Hampshire.
For instance, if Warren and Biden effectively tie, I think it will be spun as a win for Warren but a loss for Biden, and I don’t think it should be.
geoffrey.skelley: Relatedly, I’m interested in the possibility of having super ambiguous results because we will have three different outcomes to look at — first preference, final preference and state delegate equivalents, the last of which actually determines delegate counts.
ameliatd: I’m going to be a broken record but — turnout! Who shows up, and where? Whose supporters are most jazzed up and enthusiastic? That’s something that’s harder to predict/see until the caucuses are actually happening.
perry: What I’m looking for, before Monday night, are any clear urgings from really prominent Democrats to not back Sanders. (House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave clearly anti-Sanders remarks on Friday, but they didn’t get much attention and she didn’t use his name.) Also, I’m watching for some of the lower-tier candidates to point their supporters to all get behind a second-choice person. (This would not be done by the candidate or their top staffers directly, but more under the radar.) So would most Yang/Gabbard supporters get behind Sanders? Klobuchar backers to Biden? The most interesting questions to me are whether Warren supporters, in places where she is not viable, mostly go to Sanders and in places where Buttigieg is not viable, if his supporters mostly go to Biden.
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via Politics – FiveThirtyEight
Welcome to a special edition of FiveThirtyEight’s weekly politics chat. The transcript below has been lightly edited.
sarahf (Sarah Frostenson, politics editor): Our last politics chat before the 2020 Democratic primary kicks off!! And we’re talking Election X factors! Or what things we should be looking at, besides the polls (and our forecast), that could affect who wins on Monday?
geoffrey.skelley (Geoffrey Skelley, elections analyst): To me, in a race that is so close, the number of precincts in which a candidate is either ahead or falling short of the viability threshold – 15 percent at most caucus sites — seems like it could be really important for what happens on Monday. Because say, someone like Bernie Sanders, if his support is concentrated in more urban areas or college towns, does that mean someone like Joe Biden could get more delegate support because he has backing across more rural areas? I don’t know.
nrakich (Nathaniel Rakich, elections analyst): Yeah, and related to that point: The polls only measure voters’ initial preferences. But caucusgoers are allowed to realign if their candidate doesn’t meet the viability threshold, and then, of course, the delegates awarded are based on that post-realignment total.
In other words, the polls can’t really tell us exactly how votes will translate into delegates. So it will matter whose support is distributed the most efficiently.
sarahf: (Quick side note: For the first time, raw vote tallies from the first and second alignments will be released publicly, as well as the state delegate equivalents that a candidate earns. In the past, the party only reported the delegate tallies.)
ameliatd (Amelia Thomson-DeVeaux, senior writer): Well, and an interesting question along those lines, Geoffrey, is how much will turnout shape the final narrative? In the past, when raw vote totals weren’t released, candidates like Sanders didn’t have as much of an incentive to run up their numbers in places like college towns where they have lots of densely concentrated support. This year, that will be different, and it could make for some confusion when the delegate counts and the raw votes are in.
I’m also curious to see what kind of horse-trading will go on in the caucuses themselves!
geoffrey.skelley: Definitely true, Amelia. I’m looking forward to the possibility of a scenario where Sanders wins the post-realignment raw vote total, but Biden wins the delegate count.
ameliatd: That’s one of the things that makes caucuses so fascinating and unpredictable — people are literally trying to convince each other to join their side as it’s happening.
sarahf: And you’ll be there to see it in action, Amelia! That ought to be wild.
ameliatd: Yes! I will be on the ground at a precinct in Iowa City, which I think will be one of the hubs for a potential Warren/Sanders showdown. My Monday night is going to be full of drama.
sarahf: But play out that scenario you just mentioned, a little bit more, Geoff. How could it work that Sanders wins more votes, but Biden wins more delegates (and therefore Iowa)?
geoffrey.skelley: Basically, every precinct is worth a certain number of state delegate equivalents, which is used to determine delegate allocation for national delegates. So if you get particularly high turnout at a precinct near, say, the University of Iowa in Iowa City, Johnson County, that precinct’s value for delegate purposes is already set based on a calculation determined by the 2016 presidential and 2018 gubernatorial Democratic vote share in that precinct. So if Sanders gets like 500 of 600 voters there, it might have the same delegate value as Biden dominating in a different precinct with 150 voters if they are worth the same number of state delegate equivalents. In the 2016 caucuses, for instance, Hillary Clinton swept all 1.6 SDEs in a Waterloo, Iowa, precinct that had 141 people show up, while Sanders got 1.6 of 1.8 SDEs in an Iowa City precinct that had 646 participants. We can’t know what the “popular vote” was in those precincts in 2016 — that’s available for the first time this year — but the delegate value for the two candidates was pretty much the same, even though one precinct had far higher turnout.
nrakich: I’m curious — which of those measures will you guys be paying the most attention to?
sarahf: I mean … I find the whole “both sides could claim victory on caucus night” a bit disingenuous, or at the very least, there should be a heavy burden on the media to report it responsibly. Because you can’t claim victory from the pre-alignment vote total!! That’s not how caucuses work. (Now you can have quibbles with why Iowa caucuses in the first place sure, but this whole sowing confusion narrative bothers me. Let’s not sow confusion!)
nrakich: Why not, Sarah?
That’s the popular vote!
That’s how almost every other state does it, i.e., primary states.
It is the most small-d democratic.
sarahf: That’s true, but Iowa isn’t a primary state! And maybe caucuses should be banned for the reasons you outline (it is really time consuming to caucus), but it’s not like how the winner in Iowa is determined has changed. It’s still based on the number of state delegate equivalents a candidate wins, we’ll just get to see more inside the process, which as a journalist, I’m 100 percent in favor of. More data always, please.
But that means as journalists we have a responsibility to talk about the three different vote totals in the context of how they work within a caucus, e.g. don’t read too much into the pre-alignment vote, because this will change (not every candidate will have enough support to make it to the next round of voting). That vote is the most small-d democratic, as you say, but it’s also not how caucuses work, so we shouldn’t feed into that narrative! Although, I’m sure some candidates will. But whatever. Report the process; don’t sow confusion.
nrakich: My short argument for why the initial preference numbers are the most important is that they’re the best representation of how voters feel — kind of like a massive poll. The state delegate equivalents might matter more for delegate selection, but Iowa is a small state — the number of delegates a candidate gets there is less important than the momentum/vote of confidence he/she receives.
geoffrey.skelley: Right, Nathaniel — in fact, AAPOR (the American Association for Public Opinion Research) recommends that journalists compare poll results from this cycle to those pre-realignment numbers when considering the accuracy of polls.
clare.malone (Clare Malone, senior political writer): Here’s a pulled-out question, not related to thresholds: Is there anything that could happen in this last weekend to sway things one way or the other for voters still on the bubble? Is it good for the Democrats that all these senators aren’t going to be in the Senate for a drawn-out impeachment trial after all?
ameliatd: I have to imagine, Clare, that the senators are pretty excited about the prospect of getting back to Iowa. They’ve had surrogates campaigning on their behalf, but having the actual candidate there seems like a much better recipe for firing up their supporters — and that enthusiasm can really matter in the caucuses.
clare.malone: Another x-factor to mention: Could some big-name establishment Democrat speak out against Sanders? That sort of stuff has been floating around the past couple of weeks in news stories. It’s the kind of thing you could see happening on a Sunday show or a cable interview over the weekend.
sarahf: I mean, that’s a great question. In theory, Iowa always has at least a few polling surprises, but it’s also kind of hard for me to see Buttigieg, Warren or Amy Klobuchar making a big comeback at this point.
I know, never say never. But it’s hard for me to see this path — don’t @ me!!
Someone from the Democratic establishment speaking out against Sanders, on the other hand … that could be
.
Except Democrats would be smart to not have the spokesperson be Hillary Clinton. I feel like that Hollywood Reporter story about that new documentary where she dished on Sanders, and what it was like working with him in Congress, just fired up his base more than it actually hurt him.
nrakich: I don’t know if any figure in the party is big enough to matter, unless their last name is Obama.
And I don’t think either of the Obamas is going to weigh in at this point.
Mayyyybe if Sanders wins the first few states and he becomes the favorite to win the nomination …
geoffrey.skelley: Which could definitely happen — if he wins Iowa, he’ll be favored in New Hampshire and probably Nevada, too.
ameliatd: It would make sense to me if it were that the big establishment figures were biding their time to see how Sanders does in Iowa, and holding their fire until then.
clare.malone: I think the polling surprise is a great point, Sarah.
And considering the big Des Moines Register poll didn’t drop this weekend, we’re kind of in the dark as to where things could be headed. Hazard any guesses on potential surprises?
sarahf: I mean, we expect a few polls later today, but I was surprised in this last week that Buttigieg and Warren didn’t see more of an uptick. If anything, Warren actually ticked down more in our forecast this week despite the endorsement from the Des Moines Register, which should have helped her at least somewhat in the polls.
If anything, Klobuchar has started to do better. Granted she only has a 3 percent chance of winning the most votes in Iowa, but that’s been an interesting development to me anyways.
I mean … if anyone other than Sanders and Biden are in the top two at the end of the night on Monday, that’s an x-factor, right?
ameliatd: It’s all because of Klobuchar’s hot dish, Sarah. Never doubt the power of tater tots!
sarahf: Lol, that article.
nrakich: Klobuchar doing well would be an x-factor because I’m not sure there is room for FIVE front-runners. If Klobuchar surges, in my mind, someone like Buttigieg would have to crater.
As a reminder, we have never seen more than three candidates get more than 15 percent (the threshold required to get delegates) in any state before.
geoffrey.skelley: Definitely agree that it would be surprising if Biden or Sanders were not in the top two, but that’s certainly a possibility. With voters’ second-choice picks being really important in Iowa, I don’t want to totally discount anyone in the top four from winning, or anyone in the top five — so Klobuchar, too — from ending up in second or third.
And right now, we have three polling above 15 percent in Iowa and Warren just under that at 14 percent. Plus, Klobuchar is now right at 10 percent in our polling average.
perry (Perry Bacon Jr., senior writer): In some ways, I wonder if the buzz about Sanders’s potential to win Iowa and that victory catapulting him to the nomination happened a week or so too early for him. And it allowed his opponents within the party to hit him fairly hard, with an argument (electability) that Democratic voters really care about.
clare.malone: Ooooh, I like this take.
Interesting fodder!
And the idea that a person can have a “week too early” surge seems like a very Iowa phenom.
nrakich: It’s amazing how the timing of an election can matter. Random choices like whether the Iowa caucuses were this week or last week can make a big difference in who potentially gets elected leader of the free world.
ameliatd: Well, and a scenario like that could be especially helpful for Biden is that his supporters are generally older and perhaps more likely to caucus, too — although some of those folks aren’t necessarily regular caucusgoers.
perry: Buttigieg is even trying to get former Republicans to go to the caucuses. Those people are not going to support Sanders or Warren as a second choice.
geoffrey.skelley: Actually, age is one of the big questions about the caucus electorate — some polls have people under 50 making up as much as 47 percent of the electorate, which would be good news for Sanders, while others have it much lower than that. This has ramifications for each candidate’s poll numbers, but especially Sanders and Biden because their support at the age poles (oldest and youngest) are opposite of one another.
sarahf: So OK, say Sanders doesn’t win — because as Perry says, he peaked too early — does that put him a few points behind Biden … and Warren? Is there still room for her to be thought of as a moderate alternative to Sanders?
Perry: If the turnout is screwed young, I think Bernie will win. He really needs the electorate to be younger.
geoffrey.skelley: If Warren remains viable in most places, that actually could be quite bad for Sanders. And that’s because she’s the one whose backers are most likely to pick Sanders as their second choice. As the most recent Iowa State/Civiqs poll showed, 33 percent of Warren backers picked Sanders as their second choice, whereas no more than 11 percent of the other leading candidates’ backers chose Sanders as their top second choice.
nrakich: I mean, not to be that guy, Sarah, but in 80 percent of simulations in our model, Sanders could do anything from surge to 43 percent of the vote to drop to 11 percent in Iowa. And yeah, if he falls that far, he could finish below several other candidates (for the record, Warren’s range of outcomes in the 80-percent confidence interval is 3 percent to 31 percent).
ameliatd: I’m also really curious as to what will happen in places like Iowa City, which Bernie won handily in 2016. Obviously, a lot of 2016 Sanders’s voters are already supporting other candidates. But is it possible that all of the sudden focus on Bernie actually energizes his young lefty supporters and juices turnout even more?
Or, to answer your question, Sarah, maybe the attacks on Bernie prompt some progressive folks — the people who actually live and work in college towns, not the students — to give Warren a second look.
geoffrey.skelley: Thing is, because each precinct has a pre-assigned value based on the 2016-2018 Democratic vote, how much you can gain from juiced turnout near college campuses could be limited if it’s in select precincts.
nrakich: Right, which is why the actual preferences of Iowa voters is all that matters
sarahf: Lol, what about the possibility for technical glitches and the fact that Iowa is kind of sort of going to be making it easier to caucus this time around?
Do you think that’s an x-factor at all?
ameliatd: I’m a little skeptical of whether the satellite caucuses are actually going to make things easier. There are not that many of them, and they’re mostly in the middle of the day or the evening.
Of course, there will be a caucus in Tblisi, Georgia, which could really be what gives one of the candidates their edge.
geoffrey.skelley: Yeah, you still have to gather for a couple hours in the evening. Not like having ~12 hours to show up for 20 minutes and cast a ballot.
ameliatd: Or drop your ballot in the mail!
geoffrey.skelley: So I’m not expecting turnout to be crazy high.
nrakich: I think the overarching thing to remember here is that caucuses are always going to be harder to vote in than primaries. This article, about how difficult it can be for people with physical disabilities to caucus, really stuck with me.
#BanTheCaucus
sarahf: OK, rapid fire, final X-factors going into Monday. What do you think is super important to keep an eye on? I still think there’s got to be some kind of polling surprise that we just don’t know about yet, or wasn’t caught because there were a lot less polls this time around. …
nrakich: I think it will be whether the media makes a big deal out of “so-and-so winning Iowa,” even if he or she wins by just a fraction of a percentage point. To me, that is better thought of as a tie, but the way cable news tends to frame things as winners and losers could have a real impact on the narrative of which campaign is surging and which is struggling going into New Hampshire.
For instance, if Warren and Biden effectively tie, I think it will be spun as a win for Warren but a loss for Biden, and I don’t think it should be.
geoffrey.skelley: Relatedly, I’m interested in the possibility of having super ambiguous results because we will have three different outcomes to look at — first preference, final preference and state delegate equivalents, the last of which actually determines delegate counts.
ameliatd: I’m going to be a broken record but — turnout! Who shows up, and where? Whose supporters are most jazzed up and enthusiastic? That’s something that’s harder to predict/see until the caucuses are actually happening.
perry: What I’m looking for, before Monday night, are any clear urgings from really prominent Democrats to not back Sanders. (House Speaker Nancy Pelosi gave clearly anti-Sanders remarks on Friday, but they didn’t get much attention and she didn’t use his name.) Also, I’m watching for some of the lower-tier candidates to point their supporters to all get behind a second-choice person. (This would not be done by the candidate or their top staffers directly, but more under the radar.) So would most Yang/Gabbard supporters get behind Sanders? Klobuchar backers to Biden? The most interesting questions to me are whether Warren supporters, in places where she is not viable, mostly go to Sanders and in places where Buttigieg is not viable, if his supporters mostly go to Biden.
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oh, by the way! the other day I actually finished that affinity list for FE15 characters but I’ve been forgetting to post it so I hope you’re all ready for a whole shitton of “you know what this character is a lot like that one other character from a game that has canon affinities”
Alm - Light y'know, part of my exercises in attempting to make a regular FE cast out of a series-wide arrange of characters with the best FE Heroes poll results was in workshopping affinities for the characters that made the list. when I started attempting this, Echoes wasn't remotely out yet. I've since discarded the progress I've made on that front, due to the recent changes in the roster as per the link I've just shared and also because when that happened Echoes was much closer to being out. regardless, I'll probably end up bringing up the initial affinity impressions I've had at that point for the Gaiden characters who made it to the initial roster, even though I've (rather predictably) doubled back on most of them this side of Echoes being out. Alm is a big case of this happening. when his sparse characterisation in Gaiden coupled with his Awakening lines made it popular read him as the genocidal scourge of Rigel, I had a good time chucking him into the Ice affinity where not one other FE protagonist would fit. well, for better or for worse (and mostly for the better), those times are now over. Alm in Echoes is not without compassion for his enemies or with a very strong impetus towards revenge; he's just young, in over his head, and a little too eager to please, and that eagerness took him in a questionable (if not necessarily wrong, per se) direction when he felt that pushing back against Rigel is what people wanted. he actually hits many of the same notes as Seliph, although his discomforts with leadership seem to be less inherent (as with Seliph) than they're just naturally stemming from the fact that he's a young boy who just keeps suddenly ending up with more responsibility than he thought he was in for. and he ultimately grows into the roles he keeps being given with little further complaint, and it's all because he enjoys the upshot of it all: getting to help more people. and for someone who's always so inclined towards doing right by others, almost unidirectionally, I can't think of a better affinity than Light.
Celica - Thunder unlike her co-protagonist, Celica doesn't require any sort of analysis to be read as having a Light affinity; I'd expect that this is would be most of anyone's initial impulse. but she's, ah... not nearly enough of a pushover for that. when she talks about her mission, she does so with a kind of steely resolve that can only run much deeper than just a desire to do the right thing; each of her decisions mean something important to her, and for that, she's ever glad to take matters into her own hands, even those closest to her desperately wish she'd be more willing to let everyone else lift some of the load as well. and just like Alm sometimes risks everything out of his unwillingness to disappoint, so Celica's weakness is not listening to other people's thoughts when she's made up her mind, which is how she ends up handing her soul over to Jedah despite as many people as possible telling her not to do it. this principled, yet stubborn attitude is definitely the way of Thunder characters like Selena and Jill, and we can only be very relieved that Celica's tendencies mostly pointed her in directions unlike the sorts those two have ended up in.
Gray - Fire this guy has so much in common with Sain, I was this close to calling it a Wind, but there's an all-important difference: where that affinity's crowd tends to be more dreamy and detached, Gray is actually pretty down-to-earth in spite of his rather humorous openness. his flirty side strikes me as more a social butterfly thing than Sain's floweriness, for one (at least, well, in any context but his supports with Clair). overall, he's more than anything else friendly and easygoing, the way of a Guy or a Ross.
Tobin - Anima/Earth painfully awkward, but level-headed, observant, and clear in his ways of thinking -- this one's pretty straightforward, the way Anima characters can often be.
Kliff - Wind OR Ice so this one is also one where I had a pre-Echoes assignment for Poll Heroes. at that point, whatever little character he had seemed pointedly Wind, being the right amount of free-spiritedness and, as per his ending, dreamy wanderlust. this side of Echoes, those traits were kept and driven in further, but at the same time, he also gained a new and very marked personality trait: a mean, haughty streak that would really not land him out of place with the likes of Raigh and Raven. and I kind of wanted to think that this isn't entirely out of left field for a Wind character either, but there isn't anyone quite that mean on the canon listings; at worst you get some lighthearted snarkers like Haar and Bastian. still, it's not as if pushing the frontier is enough reason to demand a change in affinity... so it's honestly easy to argue either way for him. and to make matters worse -- he's very withdrawn and his ch3 base convo implies he has something of a history with secrets, so he wouldn't be out of place as a Darkness character either, although at this point I'm still feeling Wind and Ice more strongly for him.
Faye - the shit writing affinity it speaks vollumes that I feel like I can only possibly ground her primary characterization on anything that makes sense if I review her lines from the prologue and/or in battle situations. this is also something I don't feel like doing.
Lukas - Anima/Earth with his whole "cold observer" thing, Ice is a mighty tempting affinity for him, but Anima/Earth fits that bill just as well and also works for Lukas in a number of ways that Ice doesn't. he's not quite mean, aloof, or detached enough to really seem like an Ice; his quiet is more poise than lack of concern or dismissal. all in all, Anima/Earth is a solid affinity for the character who silently yet gladly takes on the role of Team Babysitter, the way Oswin, Oscar, and Nolan are all known to. that said, there's also that whole other way to read his character: for those whom Lukas strikes as being much more stirred than he ever lets on -- between Clive/Lukas B and the way he's deadpan about his awful backstory -- the obvious affinity would be Darkness.
Silque - Ice I'll freely admit she's a hard one to read whatsoever -- and maybe I'd have more material to work with if Faye hadn't fucked this one up for us all -- so the most I can seem to observe in her character is this aloof elegance. and maybe it's just par for the setting, but there are some precious few moments when she shows something of a lowkey judgemental side... but really, this is not one of the assessments I'd be very attached to; if you've got a better idea, you can probably argue it better
Clair - Thunder proud and stubborn and- you know what, I could just copypaste my rationale for making Lachesis this affinity when I was analyzing FE4. in fact, I'm gonna do that. I’m kind of tempted to put her down for Thunder just because she’d match Clarine that way, tbh (sic)
Forsyth - Thunder being as square as he is, Forsyth could've easily ended up on the Anima/Earth bin, where he can be in the company of such spoilsports as Kent and Oswin -- but it's actually not that simple. for all his veneer of orderliness and properness, this is still a guy who gave up on a quiet and safe life to run after a goose chase of a dream that never had a chance to come true, and only got anything remotely close to that as a result of plentiful fortunate circumstances. besides, when he's trying to whip Python into shape, he doesn't resemble, say, Kent trying to whip Sain into shape -- whereas the former pair's dynamic sounds more "ugh, please stop being an idiot and do this properly", Forsyth's beef with Python is over a lack of commitment. because that's what's really Forsyth's primary characteristic: the kind of commitment that can only stem from a Thunder-affinity character, even if he's basically committed to becoming what an Anima/Earth character might just naturally be.
Python - Wind in his own words, he lives carefree, which is exactly the way Wind characters are when they're left to their own devices. he's certainly got a combination of Ranulf's sense of humour (or even Wil's loose tongue) and Haar's boldfaced laziness.
Clive - Light he's idealistic enough for the part -- to the point that what keeps bending him and bringing out some of the worst in him over the course of the story is that not all things play out like the pretty design he had in his head. to name one, he's fine with putting some farmboy climbing the social ladders as the leader of his resistance band so as long as it makes him feel good for being so nice to peasants and giving the common soldier a leader they can identify with, but it’s rougher on him when Alm starts talking back to him and making decisions he doesn't agree with.
Boey - Anima/Earth there's something that keeps showing up in his lines, that I kind of get but can't seem to describe... but in any case, he's pretty much the Tobin of Team Celica, as someone who tries to keep it real but tends to come off more as the short-sighed comic relief than the shrewd realist.
Mae - Thunder I can just say it's Serra's affinity and leave it at that, that should explain everything
Genny - Wind OR Light we're not offered much in actual characterization for her other than shyness, a dreamy, story-loving nature and a dash of helplessness... it's hard to make anything deeper, least of all considering she's pretty young. Wind works with her detached, "this would make such a cool saga" ways, and also with the fact that her ending will show she's willing to troll people about her choice in romantic partners; Light would reinterpret her love of stories as a sort of idealism, and also focus on her helpless but earnest side, where she's similar to characters like Florina.
Saber - Ice aloof, gruff, and with a bad reputation to boot -- even if we know that Saber gets to be much more attentive and supportive than he seems to be, or frankly wishes he were, his nurturing side still tends to be more like "that sounds stupid but I'm here for it" than anything warmer and more earnest.
Valbar - Fire this is another one I had a pre-Echoes take on, and that one was Thunder -- it made perfect sense, since Gaiden doesn't give you anything more on the guy than the fact that he's willing to all but suicide attack a whole bunch of pirates in the name of revenge. this side of Echoes, though, that part of his characterization now seems to be more of an understandably extreme reaction to grief, while his natural disposition is just friendly and charmingly boisterous in a way that strikes me much more as Fire.
Leon - Light deep down under all his quirks, there seems to be something idealistic, even childish at times. if he can fall in love with someone just because that person was nice to him at a difficult time, that's -- at least, by his own admission -- because he appreciates the beauty of the world; and if he can spend half his dialogue talking about Valbar -- I swear, sometimes he almost annoys me as much as Faye does -- that's because he's sporting this mental checklist of things that make someone The Ideal Man and Valbar has yet to fail any of it. plus, well, for better or for worse, this is also Kyza's affinity.
Kamui - Wind aloof, but dreamy, more than anything else helplessly driven by his wanderlust; and on top of all that, just slightly snarky. Kamui is a very straightforward Wind character.
Luthier - Ice also a pretty straightforward assessment: haughty, but awkward; aloof and a little too focused on something that interests him; Luthier is pretty much a living checklist of Ice traits, although he doesn't quite cover the stricter and meaner end of that spectrum (except in that he's almost strict enough when it comes to Delthea -- definitely "almost", though, he's nonwhere near Marcus-level strict). one amusing way to think of it is that Luthier is the exact kind of guy who Pent only barely avoided becoming.
Mathilda - Light time and again she's regarded as being the voice of reason -- and I think that's less in the whole Lukas-esque "cold observer" sense and more in the sense that she's sensible and doesn't lose sight of what's important. it's also worth noting that, unlike Celica above, she's prone to giving others a little too much credit and yielding to particularly persistent characters; from the third Rise of the Deliverance map, plus some of the base game, Clair in particular can play her like a piano just by being very stubborn. maybe that's also how she ends up with that awful ending... (can I go this long without drawing parallels to characters with canon affinities? naaaah. sometimes she's kind of like a Lucius who actually enjoys fighting.)
Delthea - Fire it's rather clear that when Delthea thinks of her dreamy city life, she's thinking of a place where she can go be a social butterfly -- or, as it were, fall in love with someone suavacious. I've also considered Wind as a strong possibility for her but ultimately I get the sense that she's less lashing out against restrictions or being expected to work hard and more against being judged for not really wanting to be a mage. I'm very probably splitting hairs there, but we'd have more established character to build upon if folks would just let Delthea say "fuck" every once in a while.
Palla - Anima/Earth I'll have to admit that Akaneia characterization isn't fresh in my head at the present moment -- however sparse it can be -- but most of what I remember about Palla is her just incorporating that whole The Big Sister (TM) Archetype without a complaint, which is just another way of being the Team Babysitter as Lukas above is.
Catria - Ice this one's also gonna have to work off her FE15 characterization primarily, but anyways! as affecionate as she is deep down, she's pretty aloof and she'll be curt and critical sometimes; this bill probably suits her fine.
Atlas - Fire a big-hearted guy of very simple ways, to the point that even directly befriending a queen-to-be won't draw him away from going back to his village and becoming a simple lumberjack. he's really like a bar-brawling, trash-talking version of Dorcas.
Jesse - Light he just loves playing the hero, right to the point that he'll bog himself down doing it (like, say, by trying to take on a horde of desert bandits alone and ending up captured by them). he's also got the idealism to boot, what with this whole idea for a mercenary's country. and I mean, really, I shouldn't need to argue very much to say that Jesse would have the same affinity as Gatrie.
Deen - Darkness full disclosure: I did not pick him on my first and so far only Echoes run, so there's every chance I haven't seen the full picture yet. still, as far as I can see, this guy just drips with Darkness, hitting much of the same edgelord tunes as Rutger does. that said, for all I know he could be more of a Jaffar-type Ice affinity, so maybe I'll really have to see yet.
Sonya - Darkness full of secrets and unwilling to let anyone in for real, but she can't help but let off a glimpse of her truths if it might just help someone she can see herself in -- yeah, she's right at home with Calill and Micaiah, to say the least.
Est - Fire lively and straightforward -- to the point that, at least here in FE15, her sisters seem to enjoy just completely reading her -- she's not very difficult to regard as a Fire. although, between the way she does her unreliable sales pitches (in her support with Catria) and certain Akaneia things that hint at some severe commitment issues, it's tempting to keep Wind in consideration, too...
Nomah - Wind if Bastian should live to see old age, then he'll become the exact person that Nomah is. ... well, a more long-winded version of him, at least.
Tatiana - Fire I've dithered a fair bit here, because for all her ostensible cheeriness, she's got a lot of insecurity and fright in her. as soon as you rescue her, the first thought in her head is "oh god they're going to kill me", and the second thought is "oh god they're going to kill my boyfriend". there's also how she's terrified of her beloved's memories returning, and how she wastes no time in beating herself up over it, and she's even got a base conversation where she expresses her self-doubts about being a good cleric. I couldn't help but wonder whether all this wouldn't make her a surprising Darkness character, really. but it seems like the precedent for having a Fire-like personality and a crushing load of insecurities is still remaining in the Fire affinity (cfr. Nino, Neimi), so dredging all of that up may not have been the best use of my analytical energy after all. harrumph, I say!
Zeke - Thunder OR Darkness between his characterization here and in other games that he totally isn't in, we know exactly two things about our amnesiac knight: that for better or for tragically worse he's loyal to the bitter end, and that he's definitely not a big fan of solving things through normal people communication.
Conrad - Thunder frankly a very tentative assessment since, seriously, for a new character who's meant to be central to the plot, this guy seriously got awful little development, probably being that IS decided to save up all of his big reveal quality for the most obvious detail about him and decided to leave us in the dark about all his other secrets. he's not even really hiding them himself -- no moreso than the plot demands at least -- so I can't just blame it on a Darkness affinity. all I really have on this guy is that, for all that he's ostensibly soft and sensitive, he's mighty stubborn, enough so that 50% of his interactions with Celica, especially as his masked knight self, are just him and her being very stubborn at each other. he's pretty much the only one that won't shut down and back off when Celica pushes back -- kind of gives me the awful impression that maybe he just doesn't listen to her very much, on review. maybe. but yeah, on the one hand he honestly doesn't /really/ sound like a Thunder type, but on the other hand, there are two different people he sounds like, and he won't drop the masked knight persona entirely even after he's stopped hiding his true identity, so I can't think of anything ostensible enough to draw my analysis from. but here's an amusing thought: a couple lines back there I did a typo and noticing I'd written "when Celice pushes back" was freaking hilarious l m a o
Mycen - Ice it's hard to pin down Mycen's true personality, since he's always so busy doing as the plot demands. at least, Clive (in one of the DLC memories) implies that he was already a notorious stoic even before he ended up in a situation where he's always having to put his own feelings aside, but it's hard not to think that he must've already had some façade going on by the time he turned into a Rigel-born Zofia knight. that said, even if it's what the plot (or, as it were, the bizarro alternate reality that a tutorial tends to sound like) demanded, this is a guy who yelled at a bunch of children because they were crying about having to fight a bunch of actual knights. so yeah, I'm not too hesitant to pin him down as, at the very least, the hard taskmaster who still gets his pupils' adoration -- you know, the Marcus way. that said, what wouldn't I give for some additional DLC that delves more into his actual character, and specially into that sweet, sweet Mycen and Nomah backstory...
Totals
Fire(6): Gray, Delthea, Tatiana | Valbar, Atlas, Est Ice(5~6): Silque, Luthier, Mycen, [Kliff?] | Saber, Catria Anima/Earth(4): Tobin, Lukas | Boey, Palla Wind(3~5): Python, [Kliff?] | Kamui, Nomah, [Genny?] Thunder(5~6): Clair, Forsyth, [Zeke?] | Celica, Mae, Conrad Light(5~6): Alm, Clive, Mathilda | Leon, Jesse, [Genny?] Darkness(2~3): [Zeke?] | Deen, Sonya shit writing(1): you know who | N/A
#my stupid text posts#Fire Emblem is tagged in this post#Valentia FE is tagged in this post#I'll probably have to evening reblog this bleh
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Practice Challenge 2
I didn’t even watch the Report when the names were announced. At the time I’d already been ushered into a limo on the way to the set of a talk show where they would discuss my entry in the Selection. Diana had it all pre-planned, since she already knew I would be Selected.
“So how did you feel when you first saw that you were Selected?” The talk show host had asked, even though she knew I hadn’t found out in the same way as the other girls. But we both knew how I was supposed to respond.
A wide grin graced my face. “Oh, I was so excited. To be able to live in the palace and compete for Prince Dom’s hand in marriage is like a dream come true.” I remember hoping the sarcasm was only evident to my ears.
The host had then continued asking me questions about the Selection and what I thought of the other girls. She ended by noting how much my popularity had increased in nationwide polls since the announcement of the Selection only an hour before. I knew Diana would be ecstatic with that news.
Immediately following the talk show, Diana hustled me back into the limo and back to the beach house. There she began discussing the game plan for the Selection.
“Here’s what you need to do,” Diana began. “First of all, as we already talked about, you need to do whatever you can to convince Dominic to keep you until the Elite. How far past the Elite you go doesn’t matter, but you must reach at least top ten. How you do that is up to you; put on the charm, tell him your plan, whatever. Just do it. Secondly, you need to surround yourself with other power players. The Twos, the celebrities, the girls who already have a name for themselves, or will soon enough. Whether you want to call it a friendship or alliance doesn’t matter, just make sure you have a strong enough support system that you never look weak or alone during the Selection. You’ve been acquainted with Evadne Leventhorpe and Annelise Newstone in the past, maybe you could start with them.”
I sighed at her dictation. She really just wouldn’t let me be. She never lets me make decisions on my own. Maybe I don’t even want to go to the palace. Maybe I don’t want to date anyone so soon after Trey.
Diana left after giving me my orders, and I immediately started calling up Vad and Anne. I told them I was forming a group… a squad… of powerful girls who aren’t afraid to make a statement. I decided to coin us as the Bitch Squad. After searching through the list of other girls in the Selection, I decided to also call on Isabella Faulkner, whose modeling career made her enough of a celebrity to catch my eye, Seraphine Chamberlaine, whose ambition and fire seemed a good fit for the squad, and Kat Dempsey, who wasn’t a Two anymore, but who had the attitude of one, and whose scandal would certainly be enough of an attention-getter to make her a hot commodity. I figured I might need someone like her on my team. After getting responses from each of them agreeing to join me, the Bitch Squad was born.
It’s been almost a week since Diana’s so-called “pep talk” and the send-off is today. I have to go to yet another stupid event that the province of Angeles is throwing for me. It’s supposed to be a way for the people of Angeles to show their support for me and get to know me before I’m overcome by the fame of the Selection. Like the Selection is actually going to change me. I’m already famous, these people already know who I am. All this send-off is really doing is letting the people think that I’m just like them. I’m not. I’m not just “one of the people” I’m not an average “daughter of Illéa.” I’ve made a name for myself and earned the fame I have. Everyone knows my name and my face already, so I don’t even really know what the point is. But it’s tradition, so who am I to ruin that?
The send-off that Angeles decides to throw is an elegant dinner gala. At least they have some class. Some provinces just have the girls stand on a stage where people can stare at them or throw roses. I do my best to play nice at the gala, shaking hands with people, taking pictures with young girls who want to be me when they grow up, blowing kisses at all the boys heartbroken that I’m the Prince’s property now.
After the gala, I’m ushered directly to a limo to take me to an airport. Of course, I don’t really need to fly on a plane to get to the palace, since it’s only about an hour drive from my house, but again, it’s “tradition” for the ladies to fly in together. I meet the other girls at the airport and see that they’re all wearing the traditional white blouse and black trousers. At least for this tradition Diana got me out of it. As soon as the gala was ending, she had me change into a dress with a black lacy top and a white skirt. Opposite coloring to the other girls. Already she was making changes to help me stand out and to show the world that I’m not just one of the Selected; I am so much more than that.
Luckily, Kat is one of the other girls on the plane with me, and I am so grateful that at least one of my fellow Bitch Squad members is with me. It allows me to establish myself right off the bat as someone with friends and allies everywhere. The other girls on the plane, while all Twos, seem fairly insignificant to me. A few of them try to start conversations a couple times, but it dies off when I turn to Kat to talk instead.
When the plane lands, we’re immediately surrounded by adoring fans holding posters with our names on them. Some of the other girls are caught up by the attention, but it’s something I’m very used to, so I quickly make my way down the red carpet, signing a few autographs and talking some selfies along the way.
Maids and servants immediately rush over to us as we enter the palace and lead us to the Women’s Room for the makeovers. The stylists fawn over me for a few minutes, saying how much they love my hair, my eyes, my everything. They know they can’t change anything about me, since I have an image to uphold for my career, and I know they wouldn’t want to anyway. They give my hair a little extra curl and apply some more makeup before sending me off to find a dress. They take a few pictures of us and then we’re set free to mingle with each other. I quickly find the rest of my bitches and we form a circle to officially introduce ourselves and discuss our plans for the Selection.
I noticed out of the corner of my eye one of the other Selected approaching us hesitantly. I turn to appraise her. I don’t remember her name; she was probably someone I skipped right over when I was first looking for girls to invite to my squad, but at least after the makeover she looked fairly decent. Not like some of the girls who were definitely trying too hard. I squint my eyes at her. “Excuse me, who are you?” I ask.
The girl clears her throat and strengthens her back. Suddenly she seems more courageous and empowered, and I admire that. “I’m Charlotte. And I have a proposition for you.”
She tells me that even though she’s a Six, she recognizes that there will be groups, cliques, forming in this Selection. She doesn’t want to be part of a weak group, or left in the dust entirely. She says she can see the Bitch Squad for what it is: a group of powerful girls working together to strengthen our positions for during the Selection and after. And she wants in.
So we come to an agreement that she will do her best to support the members of the Bitch Squad when we need someone at our backs—or our feet—and in turn, we will help raise her societal status by association. I can certainly admire her ambition and her ability to recognize the Bitch Squad as the top dogs of the Selection.
That night, Vad and one of the others decide to plan a sleepover for all the girls. Personally, I find it idiotic to try to plan such a small scale party for thirty-five girls, but I know this is what Vad loves to do, so I must support her.
When I reach the party rooms—fashionably late, of course—I see the party is in full swing. And by swing I mean half the girls are literally swaying on their feet. They’re all completely drunk off their asses. I honestly can’t believe these girls are stupid enough to get drunk the night before they first meet the prince. Do they honestly believe a hangover is sexy or attractive? Trust me; been there, done that. Don’t need to do that again.
I stay as long as I can, just to show my support to Vad, but I honestly can’t stand the insane drunkenness of the girls. I assume it’s because most of them haven’t had the freedom or wealth to have much experience with alcoholic beverages, and went a little overboard with their first times. But that’s still no excuse. Everyone knows everything is better in moderation.
Eventually I can’t handle being bumped into by the girls who can’t even stand still on their own two feet, so I apologize to Vad and leave the “party” if you could even call it that. It felt more like a seedy bar at two in the morning, if you ask me.
As I leave the cacophony of the party behind, I try to think. There must be something more productive I could be doing with my time. My feet are already walking to my destination before my mind has fully processed the idea.
Once I reach the hall where the royals’ bedrooms are, I find myself a comfortable alcove and lie down in it with a faux casualty. I pull up my dress a little so my legs are slightly more accentuated, and I wait.
I don’t have to wait long, as Dom emerges from his room within a few minutes.
I pretend to not notice him and play with the hem of my dress.
“Uh, hello?” Dom asks.
I lift my eyes and feign a look of surprise. “Oh, hello. I didn’t see you there.”
“Did you come to find me?” He asks with a sly grin on his face as he takes a step closer to me.
I gasp and pretend to look insulted. “Of course not! That’s against the rules, isn’t it? I was simply looking for a place to rest. Walking around this huge palace can get so exhausting.”
Dom had been walking towards me even more as I spoke, and I began to sit up in the seat as well while he approached so that when I finished talking, our noses almost touched and we were at eye level.
“Well, if you really need a place to rest, my bedroom is right there. And my… bed,” Dom suggested.
I gulp. How far am I really willing to go with this? I really don’t want to sleep with him on the first night, but I don’t want it to seem that way. “I don’t think that would be very proper. After all, we haven’t even had our official introductions yet.”
“But I certainly know who you are already, Melody Nolan.”
I give him a smirk. “You don’t know everything about me. There’s so much more to learn.”
Dom smirks back. “I look forward to it.”
I quickly hop down from the alcove and turn my back on him. Once I’ve taken a few steps, I turn my head back to look at him. “See you soon, princeling.” I give him a smirk and a wink, then turn back and make my way back to my room.
Once back in my room, I shut the door quietly behind me and then sit down on the floor, pulling my knees to my chest. That wasn’t so bad, right? A little minor flirtation is something I can handle. Before the introductions tomorrow, I’ll have to make a decision, though. Do I tell Dom about my plan or not? If I tell him, he may think I’m not here for him and eliminate me immediately. Or he may agree to it and I won’t have to worry about seriously trying to seduce him. If I don’t tell him, then he’ll think I’m actually here to win his heart, and will likely keep me a long time, but I may have to resort to doing things I may not actually want to do.
Decisions, decisions.
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Chapters: 15/? Fandom: Glee Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel Additional Tags: Competition, Reality TV, Alternate Universe, Eventual Blaine Anderson/Kurt Hummel, Blaine Anderson & Sam Evans Friendship, Kurt Hummel & Rachel Berry friendship, Duet, Slow Burn
Chapter 15- I Was Born to Be a Rock Star
Mr. Figgins sat at his desk, his hand to his head, clearly tired of listening to the arguments that had presented to him. Frankly, after listening to the newly red headed guy berate and threaten him for two whole hours, he agreed. “I’m sorry, my hands are tied. The audition episodes are set to air tomorrow because the live shows are set to air next week. We can not delay it or we could put this whole show in jeopardy,” the middle-aged Indian man explained. “I am very aware of the issues you are having with Mr. Smythe, but it is too late to replace a contestant now.”
“We could replace his footage with Kurt Hummel’s footage, and replace Hummel with Smythe,” Mrs. Tibbideux suggested.
“What do you think, Ms. July?” Mr. Figgins Prompted..
“Whatever,” Cassie said, laying her head down, waving her head submissively.
“Personally, I wouldn’t mind if they both went home. Sebastian’s voice is too nasally. And you already know what I think about lady Hummel. It’s like, I can sing up high and sing loooowwww. That’s a vocal warm up. Big whoop,” said Jesse dryly.
Mr. Figgins shook his head. “What do you think, Sue?”
“I don't think Porcelin would get us better ratings than Smythe, because, let’s face it, they are both snarky, skinny, white gay kids that sing.”
“I disagree,” countered Carmen. “They are very different. Yes, they are both, as you say, sassy and quick-witted, but they use it in different ways. Hummel comes off as clever and feisty, whereas Smythe comes off as pretentious and rude. Although I think fans would like Sebastian, but I think they would love Mr. Hummel. In addition, if we are going off of pure talent here, which we should, Mr. Hummel has a more unique sound.”
“Mr. Shuester. You’ve been there for vocal rehearsals for Sebastian and Sam. How is that going?” Mr. Figgins asked.
“Sebastian is smug. It’s hard to give him direction. Sam is trying, and he’s doing great, but I can tell that he is frustrated, though he’s trying to hide it.” Will remarked. “I know I’m not a judge, but I have to say that I agree with Madam Tibbideaux regarding Sebastian and Kurt. It would solve so many problems.”
“I thought they were getting along now, since your bonding experience.”
“It’s better, that’s true,” Will commented, “but there’s still a long way to go. Sam is a very forgiving person, as are some of the other contestants, but there are still hard feelings toward Sebastian from several of the contestants. Are you sure there’s no way we can do as Carmen is suggesting?” Will asked.
“I'm sorry, but it’s too late. Next time, I recommend choosing the contestants more carefully. We already have everything edited and set to air.” Figgins replied.
“So will there even be footage of Hummel shown?” asked Carmen.
“Yes, seeing that he made it so far. It will add some drama,” Thad, the editor, remarked, “although I'm not sure we need anymore of that.”
“So, might I suggest something?” Sue chimed in. “Let the audition show air, and then let’s encourage the audience to give feedback on it. Let’s get a perception about what the public thinks about Smythe and Hummel.”
“And how would we do that? Online polls?” Mr. Figgins asked.
“Social Media,” Jesse answered immediately. “Encourage people to tweet about their favorite contestants so far. Better yet, allow them a chance to tweet with the contestants, and then we can see who’s treading more, and see what people actually think. People don’t hold back on Twitter.”
“I’m not sure that’s fair,” Emma interjected.
“Oh Elmo, life isn’t fair. I mean, that should be painstakingly obvious just in what mother nature decided to do to you, I mean with your hollow bird pelvis and neat freak tendencies, it was like mother nature set you up so you would never get a chance to reproduce.” Sue snarked.
“Sue, that was uncalled for. Ms. Pillsbury, however unfair it may be, I think Mr. St James is right. What do the rest of you think?” Mr. Figgins asked.
Ms. Corcoran nodded. “I think it’s brilliant.” Will nodded in agreement as well.
“Ooohhh, I love that idea!” Cassie said smiling. “I’ll even volunteer to read the comments. Jesse’s right. People don’t hold back on social media. They can be downright vicious.”
“Then it is decided. We will give a verbal warning to the stylist, and demand that they apologize to Mr. Smythe. In addition, they must fix his hair. Do you all agree?” Figgins asked. Most of the heads nodded an affirmative, except Sue’s. “I think this meeting has concluded. Thank you everyone for your hard work. Sue, I need to remain for a moment.”
“The judges and the rest of the staff exited the Executive’s office as Sue paced back and forth.
“Sue, you know something you are not saying,” Figgins accused.
“Well of course I do. I know a lot more than I’m saying. I know a lot more than you do, but that’s not new. You’re pretty clueless.”
“Now, Sue, I’m not clueless enough that I don’t realize that Sebastian is only here because you want him to be. I heard you argue his case and sidestep the issue entirely. Why do you want him here?”
“Ratings, of course,” Sue answered quickly. “He has what this show needs.”
“Talent?” Figgins guessed.
“Oh no, Figgy. Lots of kids have talent. He has a go getter attitude. He wants to win, and he will stop at nothing to get it. He reminds me of a young, gay version of one Sue Sylvester.”
“What are you up to, Sue? This show is going to be successful. The projections are good.”
“I don’t want it to just be good. It has to be great. It’s going to live up to the network’s name. It’s going to be number one.”
“I asked Wesley Montgomery, in legal to come in here with me just in case Sebastian follows through with his threat to sue. So what happened exactly? David asked. “Sebastian is really upset about his hair.”
“It was a big mistake,” Elliott explained. “I took over Sebastian’s make-over when he got hostile toward Unique, but he made rude comments to her on Friday too. I was trying to help her out. He was actually pretty rude.”
“I see that ‘highlights’ is circled on the composite. Who was responsible for that?” Wesley asked.
“I did,” admitted Unique. “We were talking about his look, and I meant to circle dye. I think I just got frazzled when he got so mad. He didn’t want it originally when we talked Friday. He added it when we were reviewing what he wanted. I circled the wrong one on the form.”
“So this wasn’t revenge,” Wesley asked.
“It was a mistake,” Unique answered.
“Kurt, Sebastian said you might have it out for him,” David stated.
“It’s no secret that Sebastian and I don’t get along, but this wasn’t a big elaborate conspiracy.”
“The highlight mixture came from you, right?” David asked. “One of the assistants said he overheard you making jokes about giving another contestant unwanted highlights.
“It was Santana, and I’m sure all of the girls were aware I was joking, including Santana. Elliott did ask me for the leftover mixture for the highlights, and I honestly didn’t think anything of it. Chandler mixed too much, and I was trying to help him out. I think we were all so busy, we just didn’t question it.”
“Well, Sebastian is pissed. He wants you all fired.”
“Mr. Thompson, you can ask the guys and the assistants.” Kurt spoke up. “Sebastian was completely hostile and out of line even before the mix up. Unique was nervous, as I would be. He called her rude names and insulted her expertise. It was really uncomfortable.”
“Are you saying she had cause to want to get even.” David inquired.
“Yes, but that’s not what it was. She made a mistake,” Elliott said, patting Unique’s shoulder.
“I’m sorry,” Unique said. “I’ll fix it without pay. And I’ll apologize, but I think I deserve one too.”
“I think both are fair, and you do need to fix this, although I don’t want you alone with him. I talked to Madam Tibbideaux, and she said that Sebastian has had issues with contestants, so I have no reason but to believe it was as you said. Your other clients all praised your work, so I think once we get his hair fixed, we will just deal with this with a warning that something like this will never happen again.” David said sternly.
“Yes sir,” Unique, Kurt, and Elliott said simultaneously.
“Elliott, you will do the dye job, but I’ll be there so you don’t have to deal with his attitude. In addition, we are installing a camera so that we have evidence if anything like this ever happens again. Understood?” David asserted.
The stylists all nodded.
“You all may go,” David stated. Kurt put his hand on Unique’s shoulder as she let out a deep sigh. “Do you believe their story?” David asked Wes.
Wes smiled. “Not completely. I don’t think this was pre-planned, but I don’t think it was completely an accident.”
“I don’t either. They are all too good at what they do, and I just don’t see them making a mistake like that. However, I do see Unique and Kurt especially as people that don’t let people push them around.” David grinned. “Kurt’s intelligent. Gifted even. I’ve seen his file. His IQ is up there. He’s a problem solver, and he thinks quickly on his feet. Sebastian is a pretentious snob, and Kurt knew exactly where to hit him.”
“Well, Sebastian definitely deserved it, according to the reports from the other contestants. No one likes him, and they all have a reason not to. Maybe this will teach him to play nice,” Wes reasoned.
“Do you think it will?’ David asked.
“No, I don’t. I think this is far from over,” Wesley answered. “But maybe, at least, he will leave the stylists alone. I think he’s too smart to mess with them again. He’ll play along, but he strikes me as the type that will try to get revenge, and he will do it when everyone least expects it.”
“So what do we do about it?” David asks.
“We can do nothing right now, except alert Ms. Sylvester that she has a real problem with Mr. Smythe.” Wes remarked. “Although she didn’t seem to mind that too much when we had that discussion before.”
Just moments after Sue concluded her meeting with Mr. Figgins, Becky entered her office. Sue was laughing so hard she almost fell out of her chair. Wes and David had explained what happened, which made her immediately pull up the footage she had from the hidden cameras she had in the salon. She couldn’t believe that the pasty-faced kid had it in him. Well played, Porcelain, well played, she thought, as a gigantic grin spread across her face.
“Coach, one of the contestants is here to see you,” the girl explained. “Do you want me to throw him out? He doesn’t have an appointment.”
“Send him in, Becky.
Sebastian stormed into Sue’s office, waving his arms hysterically. “Look what those twinks did to my hair,” he accused.
Sue cackled. “Kathy Griffin’s attorney called. You are being sued for copyright infringement. She wants her hair back.”
“Well, my father will be calling you soon with our lawsuit against those horrible excuses for stylists that you all hired!” he shouted. “This is a conspiracy. And I wouldn’t even be surprised if you were in on it,” Sebastian accused.
“Why, Annie, I’m hurt. Do you really think I would do something like that?” Sue pouted. I think you should look no further than Spongehair Squarechin and Mr. T. They probably got tired of being the only ones with pathetic hair. I could see where all that procuct seeped into Buttchin’s head, and made him snap. Why, I bet Porcelain, Urethra Franklin, and Glitterrock Vampire were just all helpless pawns in this entire affair,” Sue cackled.
“So you think this is all a joke? Do I need to remind you of the evidence I have on you. This is unacceptable. I will not be tampered with!” Sebastian yelled.
“You mean the way that you tampered with Porcelain?” Sue fired back.
“I didn’t physically cause any harm to him,” Sebastian argued.
“Neither did he. There’s no proof he was even involved. Besides, I dig your new style, although I can’t decide whether I’m craving a Big Mac or a Baconator Burger more.”
“I’m sure that Gayface is to blame for this!” Sebastian shouted.
“You know, I don’t know who you are referring to. I think every color of the rainbow is represented in that house,” Sue laughed.
“You know what? That’s it. You don’t want to handle this, I will find someone who will!” Sebastian threatened.
“Oh yes, your daddy, King Triton. Go ahead, Ariel, and swim off to the BigShot State’s Attorney,” Sue chuckled.
“Do you think my father is the only person of power and influence that I know, Ms. Sylvester?” Sebastian sneered. “My mother is a close friend of June Dalloway, who is one of the benefactors and producers of this show. All I’d have to do is contact my mother, and this show will be cancelled faster than a flight from the North Pole in a blizzard.”
“Please, do you really think I’m buying the crap you’re selling there, Syndrome,” Sue snarked. “There’s no way you would have the plug pulled on this show. It hasn’t aired yet, so you will get no airtime, and all the little horny pansies and twinks whose pants you want to get into still won’t know who you are,”
“Do you think this is the only means I have to get famous?” Sebastian snarked.
“Yes, I do, because otherwise you would have used all those powerful contacts that your precious mumsie has to get you a record deal.”
Sebastian gulped. Damn, she was smart. He had underestimated her. “This isn’t over,” Sebastian snarled. “I want them fired.”
“Can’t, all the fire is in your hair, Sexy Spice.” Sue laughed. “Look, we will see to it that your hair gets fixed so you can return to looking as stupid as you did before the makeover, and I’ll reassign your stylists so that you don’t have to worry about this happening again.” Sue said, extending her hand. “Scouts honor.”
“Yeah, sure. I believe that as much as Batman believes the Joker,” Sebastian huffed. This isn’t over.”
“Coach, phone for you!” Becky hollered.
“Thanks, Becky,” Sue hollered right back. She turned toward Sebastian. “Actually, for right now, it is over. I have another matter to attend to. So, get the hell out of my office, Carrot Top.” Sebastian snarled. “And next time, I’d be a little more careful who I mouthed off too! Karma’s a bitch,” Sue grinned.
“She said get out, Loser! Who did your hair? Elmo!” Becky taunted. “Oh Snap!”
Sebastian stormed out of the office, slamming the door behind him.
“What are you doing? Will asked Emma.
“I’m cleaning.” Emma sighed.
“That spot again?” Will asked.
“Um, I never stopped. I mean, those girls seem clean enough, and they said that they cleaned, but then I found dust bunnies under the bed and the trash wasn’t emptied, and there were spots on the wall,” Emma explained as she continued to scrub at the spots on the wall with a magic eraser.”
“Emma, that’s not a stain. You wore off the paint,” Will said, walking over to her and gently removing the sponge from her hand. “Emma, it’s clean. Trust me, I worked as a janitor in a theater until I could get a role I desired. ”
“I can’t, Will. I could never sleep in here if I knew it wasn’t clean.” Emma reasoned.
“Well, then, let me at least help you,” Will offered. “Actually, I think I owe it to you. The contestants have been working together so much better since that team building exercise. Even Sebastian’s playing nice, although I think that the stylists may have had something to do with that,” he chuckled. “It’s good that we can move in here and help so that we can prevent issues instead of watching them erupt like they have been.”
“I agree. But I feel bad. This place was cramped before, and I don’t want to be intrusive,” Emma fretted.
“I don’t see it as being intrusive at all. I think we’re being supportive. They aren’t children, but they have a lot going on. It has to be overwhelming. I think this will be better for everyone,” Will smiled. “Besides, it will give us time to get to know each other.” Emma blushed. “I meant, all of us. The contestants, you know. It will help them develop trust in us so maybe, if something does arise, we can help, like the situation with Kurt.”
“I don’t know what to think about this situation with Sebastian. That guy has a lot of issues. And I really don’t know what I think about this underhanded attempt to replace him with Kurt,” Emma admitted.
“I don’t think it’s underhanded. Carmen is being practical. Kurt has a moral code. He has a good relationship with the other contestants. They respect him. Sebastian doesn’t have any of that. And honestly, Sebastian has done more than enough to justify being removed from the show. I think Carmen knows that the dynamic would be more harmonious with Kurt,” Will explained. “And I think Carmen feels guilt that Kurt left the show.”
“Do you, feel guilt about him leaving the show?” the red-head asked, looking softly into Will’s eyes. “Because I do.”
Will cleared his throat. The way Emma’s honey eyes looked into his caught him off guard. “Yeah, I do. And when I went to the hospital and talked to his dad, I really felt responsible. I mean, we were told that his health was dire. Of course Kurt would resign. That’s the kind of guy he is,” Will marveled.
“So this Twister thing?”
“Twitter, Emma,” Will chuckled.
Emma blushed. “Twitter. Do you think it will work? It sounded kind of mean.”
“Not necessarily. I mean, yeah, sometimes people are more brutally honest online than they would ever be in person, but that may be what they want. They want to see how an audience will respond to the contestants. And it will be a great way to draw people in and keep them watching. They will be invested in the contestants.” Will commented.
“Well, I don’t know if I like it. What if people say things that are hurtful, damaging?”
“Well, then, they have you to help them see that it’s not true,” Will smiled.
“And what if I can’t?” Emma asked.
“Well then, we’ll just have to all work together. But I have faith in you, Emma. I just wish you had faith in yourself. You’re doing great,” he assured her, his green eyes once again meeting hers, and then looking again at the wall. “Well, I think this is clean. Now what?”
“The floor. I saw dust bunnies under the bed,” Emma remarked.
Will sighed. “Well, then, let’s take care of that.”
“Finn, I think we found something you are truly bad at,” Puck chuckled, after Finn messed up the steps for the fourth time in a role.”
But I’m getting better right?” Finn asked.
Mike took a deep breath. “Finn, I think that we need to adjust this routine.”
“I don’t understand why we have to do choreography in the first place. I’m a musician, and this is a rock song. Why can’t I play?” Puck complained.
“Play what?” asked Mike.
“Drums,” the tall man answered.
“And I play guitar,” Puck added.
“Are you serious?” Why are we trying to teach you a dance? I think playing would be impressive, although you may not be seen as easily by the crowd, especially behind the drums. We would have to get it cleared with the cameramen and the judges. Are you sure that you want to do this?” the Asian asked. “Because I won’t stop working with you until you master this, boys.”
“No, Puck is right. Some of these guys can really dance, like Puck’s brother, and there’s no way we are going to look as good as him, or that tall blonde chick.”
“And we aren’t going to outsing that heavy black chick,” Puck added.
Finn smacked Puck’s arm. “Hey, you can’t call her that. That's insensitive, dude.”
“Sorry, we can’t outsing that heavy, black girl,” Puck nodded.
“I think we should do what Kurt did in his final audition.”
“Sing a showtune in skintight gold pants? Man, I’ll never get laid again,” Puck complained.
“No, he said he was going to do some boring show tune, but he changed his mind and sang a completely different song!” Finn exclaimed.
“Yeah, another campy show tune, in gold pants! I still don’t see your point.” Puck sighed.
“He said he decided to change his mind because the song was more him. And that Madam chick said she was really impressed because he decided to do something that was more like him,” Finn rationalized.
“I’m incredibly confused,” Mike said.
“Well, Puck’s kinda rock and roll, and I love classic rock. It’s our thing. That’s why they picked us and not another pretty boy?” Finn answered.
Puck was clearly offended by those words.” “Hey, are you trying to say I’m not a pretty dude?”
“Your brother’s right. Sometimes, you do say the gayest things,” Finn chuckled.
“Uh, I'm still unsure if I follow?” Mike said, clearly puzzled.
“Sorry man. Neither of us speak Asian.” Finn apologized.
“I’m Chinese, man. You know that Asia’s not a country, right?” Mike asked.
“Yeah, man. It’s a condiment,” Puck responded. Finn gave him a thumbs up.
Mike shook his head. “You’re studying to be a teacher, right?” Mike asked, looking at Finn. Finn nodded. “Not geography right?”
Finn shook his head no again. “Nah, I suck at math.”
“Ok, well, explain to me why you don’t want to do the dance routine.”
“Well, there’s this gay dude that does women’s songs and show tunes because he says it’s the most “me,” and they love him. We aren’t broadway broads. We are rock and roll dudes that play instruments, and that’s what we are going to do. We’re gonna get on stage and rock instead of dancing like some boy band or the Beibs.”
Mike nodded. “That makes perfect sense. We’ll play up your strengths. It’s brilliant!”
“See, I knew that tall blonde chick wasn’t the only genius,” Puck grinned. “So, we’re playing, right. So no more of this dance crap.”
Mike frowned. “Well, I still think you two would benefit from dance lessons. You may not always get lucky enough to get rock songs,” Mike explained, losing focus slightly when he saw the pretty Korean girl in her tights and black leotard. He took a moment to admire her beautiful new hairstyle, which was wavy and had light brown highlights. She looked up and caught him staring, and she waved tentatively.
Puck chuckled. “Earth to Mike, man.”
“Uh, sorry,” Mike answered. “What was I saying?”
“Um, something about continuing dance lessons,” Finn answered, but he wasn’t really paying attention either because his eyes were staring at Rachel as she walked in. She was sporting her new look, dressed in a leotard and tights as well.
“Well, I think practice is pretty much over today, boys, right?” Puck laughed.
“I’d say so,” agreed Mike.
“That was better,” Mr. Shuester complimented the two boys in front of him. “Take a break, and then we will run through it again. Mr. Shuester went over to the water cooler while Ryder wiped the sweat from his brow.
“And it would be even better if one of us wasn’t sharp,” Jake quipped.
“I wasn’t sharp. You were flat,” Ryder accused.
“The only thing that is flat is my abs,” Jake smirked. “And your game.”
“Oh please. Do you really think anyone would want you over me?” Ryder laughed.
Jake waved at Marley, who blushed and smiled. “I don’t see anyone sneaking into your room.” Jake sneered.
“What’s going on between you and Marley?” Ryder demanded.
Jake jerked his head around. “Nothing! I just like her,” he admitted.
“I like her too, but there are rules. If we mess around, we could get eliminated, or get her eliminated. You need to cool it,” Ryder warned.
“I told you before that you need to butt out,” Jake said, his voice raising.
“That was before you kissed her,” Ryder retorted. “A kiss that she didn’t ask for or seem to want.”
“When are you just going to admit that you’re just jealous of me, man?” Jake smirked.
“And why would I admit to something that is clearly false.”
“Because it’s totally true. I’m better than you at dancing, singing, and better with girls. Admit it. You only wish you were a badass like me.”
“Yeah. That rides a razor scooter. Because nothing says I’m a badass like a razor scooter.”
“Well, at least I can read.”
Ryder’s face turned hot with rage. He turned and tackled Jake to the floor, his fist rearing back when he heard a shout.
“Guys, stop it. Please stop. This is stupid!” Marley screamed, running over to the boys.
Ryder stopped immediately. Great, so you are calling me stupid too. Just great!”
“Wait, Ryder, that’s not what I meant,” Marley called out after him, but Ryder stormed out of the studio.
“What was that about?” Marley demanded, her eyes glaring at Jake.
“Hey, he attacked me. Don’t look at me like that.” Jake defended himself.
“You guys were arguing. Ryder doesn’t seem like a confrontational guy. What did you say to him?” she repeated.
“We argued over the number, and other things,” Jake responded.
“What other things?’ the brunette questioned, looking sternly into Jake’s eyes.
“You, apparently,” Jake answered.
Marley looked stunned. “Me? W-Why m-me?” she stammered.
“Did you tell him? About us?”
“Jake there is no us. You kissed me. I didn’t ask for it. I mean, I think you’re cute, but it’s against the rules.”
“And what, do you always do what you’re told to do?” Jake asked.
“Yeah, I pretty much do. And I want this, Jake. This is my dream. And you need to respect that. You need to respect my boundaries. We can be friends, and that’s it,” she explained.
“Well, then, I’m glad I know where I stand,” Jake replied, turning abruptly and heading for the door.
“I can’t believe Dad didn’t mind me going out tonight,” Kurt told Elliott, walking to the table to join Sugar and Unique.
“You’re a grown man, Kurt,” Elliott replied. “Besides, didn’t you say that his nurse was staying with him tonight. Maybe, he’s totally fine with the two of them being alone together,”
“Shoot, I didn’t think about that,” Kurt groaned.
“Hey, it’s fine. They are both grown-ups. Let them have their fun,” Elliot laughed, grabbing pens and slips from the table to write out their song choices when it was their turn to sing.
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” Kurt giggled. “It’s actually nice to just go out. I mean, I love working and I love my dad, but things have been busy since I moved back here. I haven’t even really gotten a chance to do much at all besides work, sleep, and care for my Dad.”
“Well then, I’m happy that I could be of assistance,” Elliott answered, smiling gently. “What are you singing first?”, he said, tilting his head to try to get a glimpse of the fair-skinned boy’s song slip.
“Nu uh. It’s a surprise,” Kurt giggled again.
“Well, then fine, If you won’t show me yours, I won’t show you mine,” Elliott smirked.
“Uh, did you two want to be alone?” Unique chuckled.
“No, no.” Kurt responded, scooting his seat back a little. “This guy was just trying to peek at my song selection.”
“Oh, cause from the sounds of that conversation, it sounded like he was trying to peek at something else,” Sugar giggled.
Kurt sipped his shirley temple as Elliot drank his Long Island Iced Tea. “You aren’t drinking. It’s karaoke, Kurt,” he laughed. “How can you do karaoke sober?”
“Probably easier than the people that get sloppy drunk and screech the lyrics of some pop song into the microphone,” Kurt said, cringing as he heard the KJ call Sugar onto the stage. He saw the title ‘Blank Space’ pop up. “Dear God, let her be able to carry a tune,” Kurt sighed.
“No such luck,” Elliott laughed as Sugar attempted to sing the first verse. “How about that duet that we talked about yesterday?” he asked.
“Sure, we can do one later.” Kurt nodded. “What do you want to sing?” Kurt asked curiously.
“How about I write something down. I’m sure you’ll know it,” Elliott suggested.
“Sure, I trust you,” Kurt smiled. “We’ve talked enough about music that you should know that I have a pretty extensive repertoire of music under my belt.”
“And it’s a pretty awesome belt, Mr. Hummel,” Elliott flirted, his eyes dropping to Kurt’s slender waist, admiring his jeans, which might as well have been painted on, as tight as they hugged his legs and crotch.
“You know who else has an awesome belt?” Unique asked. “Me, on this next song. I challenge you to upstage me tonight.”
“Oh it’s on, girl!” Kurt countered playfully, giggling again..
“Well, you’ll have to beat what I just did,” Sugar gloated, waltzing back to the table. “So, what are you singing?”
“You’re about to find out,” Unique called as she headed to the stage. Unique really got into “Blow Me One Last Kiss,” eliciting catcalls and cheers as she strutted off the stage. “Top that boys,” she challenged.
“Next up, the vocal styling of Starchild!” Elliott walked over to the KJ and whispered in his ear.
“Hey, everyone, are you ready to rock?” he shouted to the crowd. The crowd roared in response.
“Wait! The fabulous Starchild requested a Mr. Kurt Hummel to join him on stage. They’re going to ‘duet’ right here on stage for you,” the KJ announced suggestively.
Kurt blushed and took a big swig of his drink before walked slowly onto the small wooden stage. He looked at the screen, nodding in approval of the track Elliott had picked. He signaled for Elliott to take the first part.
Elliott
There's a girl in the backyard banging on her drum
Sitting in a junk pile laughing at the sun
Singing "Ah-ah-ah, I just wanna be a rockstar"
Kurt became intimidated as he watched Elliott belting out the verse. Charisma jsut radiated out of him as he sang. Elliott smiled warmly at him before singing the next lines. He motioned for Kurt to sing the bridge with him.
Elliott with Kurt:
If there's a meaning can you show me a sign?
The more I look it just gets harder to find
The world is spinning and I wanna know why
Kurt warmed up to the performance, noticing the crowd getting into it, whistling and hollering. Kurt began to let loose, shimming his shoulders and turning his waist so that he was pointed towards Elliott instead of the crowd. In turn, Elliott removed the microphone from the stand and leaned in closer to Kurt, their voices harmonizing every step of the way.
Elliott with Kurt:
And maybe we will never figure it out
I got a feelin' that's what life's all about
I'm learning anything is possible now
Unique and Sugar stood up from their seats and moved toward the stage, whistling and dancing to the music. The crowd joined in, cheering the boys as they sang.
Kurt watched Elliott let loose and perform for the crowd. He had to admit that Elliott had an amazing stage presence, the way he seemed so confident and uninhibited. Kurt understood feeling at home on stage. He was the same way, but Elliott had this sexy quality that just oozed from every pore as he sang. By the end of the song, a crowd had formed on the stage, and Elliott just leaped, landing in the arms of the audience. He continued to sing as the crowd passed him around until he made his way back to the stage, singing the final line with Kurt.
Elliott with Kurt
I was born to be a rockstar
The crowd cheered and applauded as Elliott embraced Kurt in a gigantic hug. “You were fabulous.” Elliott complemented, pulling back hesitantly. He really enjoyed spending time with the feisty boy, and rules stated that staff could date. Elliott knew that Kurt had feelings for Blaine, although Kurt wasn’t allowed to act on it. He started to exit the stage, as Kurt leaned in and whispered to the KJ.
“Wait a second!” The KJ called to the dark headed boy. “Judging by the response from the crowd, I don’t think they would mind an encore. What do you say everybody?” The KJ asked the crowd, who answered immediately by wolf-whistling and cheering even louder than before.
“What do you say?” Kurt asked, grinning mischievously.
“We gotta give the crowd what they want,” Elliott winked, as a bra landed at his feet. “Um, well, except that lady,” Elliott smirked. He smiled even bigger when he saw the song title appear on the screen and the guitar intro began blaring over the speakers. Kurt motioned for Elliott to start.
Elliott:
Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive and you're behind the steering wheel
Kurt thought back to the duet he had sang with Blaine, which felt like ages ago, and he remembered their conversation that followed. Blaine had told him him he was adorable. Jesse told him he looked like he was having gas pains. Kurt shut that voice off in his hand and decided he was going to try once again to bring in sex appeal. Elliott had really gotten into the last performance, and Kurt wanted to get into that same mind set.
Kurt:
Touching you
Touching me
He leaned in toward Elliott, sliding his hands down his thighs. He confidently got ready to belt out the next lines.
Kurt:
Touching you
God, you're touching me!
Elliott with Kurt:
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love!
Elliott:
Ooh! Yeah! Come on!
Kurt straddled the mic stand, leaning forward.
Kurt:
I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everythin' is A.OK!
Elliott and Kurt:
Touching you
Touching me
Elliott removed the mic from the stand, and leaned in closer to Kurt, their foreheads almost touching as they both mimicked the motions from the song, first running their hands down their own arms and bodies and then touching each other’s arms teasingly, swaying their hips suggestively. Elliott even slid his finger down the middle of Kurt’s chest, causing Kurt to about forget to sing the words.
Elliott and Kurt:
Touching you
God, you're touching me!
Kurt and Elliott now had their backs leaning against each other, asses touching, as they harmonized with one another.
Elliott with Kurt:
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love!
Elliott
Ooh! Yeah, guitar!
During the guitar solo, Kurt ran over to the pole on the side of the stage that was supporting the stage, and spun around it once, testing its stability. Noting it was secure, Kurt spun around it several times seductively, Elliott moving over to the other side of the stage to do the same. The crowd was banging their heads, shouting and whistling aggressively, some of them clearly aroused by what the two attractive men were doing on the poles.
The boys moved from the poles back to the microphone stands, once again back to back, singing toward the crowd.
Elliott and Kurt:
Touching you
Touching me
Touching you
God, you're touching me! Oh!
Elliott (Kurt)
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
(I believe in a thing called love!)
Oh, woah! ( Woo!)
Kurt with the crowd (Elliott):
(Oh, yeah!) I believe in a thing called love (Yeaah!)
(Oh, yeah!) I believe in a thing called love (Oh yeah! Come on!)
I believe in a thing called love (Ya-he! Ya! Hey! Hey-yeah!)
I believe in a thing called love
Elliott:
Whoa, yeeeaah, yeah! Oooh, yeah! Heey! Ow!
Elliott watched Kurt as once again the boy swung around the pole, this time inverting himself and spinning downward slowly and skillfully. He knew Kurt was feisty and sexy, but damn! He wasn’t prepared for all of that. Elliott was aware that he was developing a crush on the countertenor, but what was going through him now was pure blown lust.
“Well, it sounds like the crowd enjoyed that,” Kurt laughed. “It was fun pretending to be sexy.
“Like Hell, pretending!” Elliott blurted. “Kurt that was the sexiest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Kurt shook his head as they made their way back to the table, both of them dodging ass grabs. A burly man took Kurt by the arm and started grinding against his leg as the next song started. Kurt looked uncomfortably at Elliott.
“Hey, didn’t you just see him with me. Back off! I don’t share well, or at all, when it comes to my sexy-assed boyfriend,” Elliott threatened.
“Yeah, prove it!” the man challenged. Elliott winked at Kurt, letting him know of his intentions as he leaned in and planted a searing kiss to his lips, his hands gripping the sides of his face, before pulling back abruptly, leaving Kurt panting and trembling slightly.
“Fine, sorry man!” the burly man huffed, sulking away.
“Hey, sorry. I just got this vibe that you didn’t want to dance with him, and I just did the first thing that came to mind,” Elliott apologized.
Kurt stood stunned in the middle of the dance floor.
“Kurt. Are you ok?” Elliott questioned again. “Hey, I’m sorry. I was out of line.”
“I have to go,” Kurt said a little louder than he intended, and rushed for the club’s exit.
____________________________________________________________________________
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SnK Chapter 91 Poll
I’ll be closing the chapter 91 poll tomorrow, so this is your last chance if you’d like to chime in.
Take the Poll
I’ve gotten 350+ responses thus far and tbh these results are the most interesting I’ve seen in terms of lack of consensus. 134 people have left their chapter thoughts, I’ll share a bunch of those below the read more. My favorite is listed first :)
*patrick star voice* WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE
If Levi is taking down the beast titan and he finds out that not only is Zeke already dead, but his replacement is a weak-brows version of Erwin, I really hope it gives him pause. That could be such a heartbreaking, earth shattering moment for him and I hope Yams handles it right.
GABI! Just Gabi. She's perfect
Timeskips should be illegal
Seeing the extent of Marleyan brainwashing was exceedingly well done.
Imagine how the poor kid that inherited "Cartman" felt like upon learning that that thing was their award for winning the marleyan hunger games.
Very unexpected change of character view from our beloved heroes to their"enemy"'s point of view. But I also think it's come at a good time in the overall SnK storyline...let's not forget that the walled society probably has no records on how to build ships or sail on the sea.
Can someone just tell Isayama‚ preferably someone close to him so the message gets across‚ that this isnt how trench warfare fucking worked? WW1 didn't have pre-teen, half-naked Genki girls hopping over trenches, tossing dynamite sticks at armored trains. This chapter destroyed my suspension of disbelief beyond repair.
I liked we got more info about Marley, but the fact that Isayama isn't willing to confirm Ymir and Annie's fate is getting a bit annoying
I thought this chapter was actually pretty cool. I've fallen hopelessly in love with Gabi! Fingers crossed that Annie gets the f*** outta that crystal soon though!
The time skip was needed for story progression but a lot of important questions and interactions were skipped in terms of character development. I just hope we get some of them in flashbacks and not have them completely disregarded don't care about the new characters, but I'm okay as long as they don't take so much screen time and we can go back to our main cast soon enough
I honestly dislike how Isayama uses these new characters to show us what Marley and being a warrior is like, instead of showing us RBA and Zeke's past :(
I think the after-chapter freakout was a big overreaction. I mean we could kinda forsee the direction the manga was going to take after we learnt about the whole Marley/Eldia thing.
After reading the full chapter and talking to someone else about it, I feel better about the timeskip. This chapter made me feel for RBA more, because they must've started out like Gabi and the rest. I only hope that those kids don't have the same fate (but considering that it is snk, it's likely that they are going to suffer lbs). I'm just worried about the 104th and what's been going on with them. They've all grown, and Eren and Armin are closer to their death now :( I don't think I would've had a problem with the time skip if it wasn't for the 13 year thing. But overall, I'm pretty optimistic with where the story is going. I trust Isayama with his story telling. I just have to prepare myself in case of the worst.
Warriors were cool. That's what I consider to be AoT. But without actual Titans, it's just not as interesting. Neither are the WW1 vibes. I just want titans back.
I thought this was a pretty good world building chapter (despite the jarring time skip), especially since we've been waiting many chapters to see this place. I don't ADORE these new characters, I'm more intrigued, which is better then hating them. This is also a good set up chapter. I'm interested to see if Reiner will interact with these new characters. Since they look so similar to the 104th (design and personality), will he constantly be reminded of his past relationships with them? Plus, will he see some of himself in them (specifically Gabi) and through them reminding of himself we'll see his backstory? And is he going to just except his fate and get eaten, or be like "Screw this, nope, not dealing with it."
"WHAT" was legitimately the keyword for this chapter but I trust Isayama with the story and with our heroes+ I hope we'll get to see the Jaegers reunion before anything bad happens to Zeke...
Gabi is such a badass, omg, do you see it Eren? This is how you gettting out of horrible situations!
This chapter has really grown on the more times I read it.
Really enjoyed the way the characters were presented. It gives the reader the chance to see Marley's side of things without being forced to have a story-generated opinion on them (aka screaming at us to hate them) because quite frankly, I was rooting for those Warrior kids to succeed with their plan!
I think it is a very unusual way to tell a story, however I also feel this could work for the best.... I think this time skip can actually go a long way towards making the coming conflict realistic. Rather than our protagonists taking them on with nothing but grit, hope and friendship, we have the possibility of them having actual time to prepare. I think this might lead to a battle between Marley and the people of Paradis that will be more evenly matched, and most importantly, realistic in how that happened.
i like the much needed change in perspective
While this chapter was certainly not a bad one, I only wished that more of the spotlight was on the original characters, seeing that there's only a few more arcs before the end of the series.
Dammit you Gabi! Fresh Face, Fresh Outlook in Life and Cute! I want to cosplay as her!
Next chapter : Gabi's underwear vs Survey Corps hundred of casualties.
UGH. This is no longer the story I used to enjoy. It's deliberately shifted from inspiring, against-all-odds heroism to a pile of absurdist, everything-is-relative garbage determined to prove that our 'heroes' are no more heroic than their opposition. If I wanted to be slapped in the face with a message of humanity's grayscale depravity, I'd read the news, thanks. :( I'm probably done with new chapters at this point, this isn't what I signed up for :P
I understand why the story is going in this direction and why it makes sense to skip three years...but I feel like we're moving further from our emotional center of the series, like the characters we love and their reactions to recent events. I'm also concerned about the dwindling lifespans of Armin, Eren, and Reiner. So I'm excited but scared for the changes our kids have gone through in three years...wish we could've seen it but I get why it's not feasible. The world is cruel....:'(
if i pretend that this is a new manga i just started, it's interesting I guess. Wish we could have seen the warriors story from the Titan Trio's Pov. The fact that we get these new kids instead tells me that they will be sticking around. Not sure whether my investment in the story will ever go back beyond mjpopcorn.gif if that's the case.
I will like this chapter, but only if Isayama concludes this story with a good twist, that is. If not, chapter 91 will in my opinion be the beginning of the end (end in a bad way).
In the four year time skip, it could have been possible for the sc to build a ship (or multiple ships) which is good enough to cross the ocean with. Which leads me to think that the main characters will cross the ocean in some of the next chapters.
This chapter shows the bigger picture. what to come & what was in plan for years. This is the real thing now.
This was obviously a set-up chapter for things to come, but unfortunately I found it to be dull except for the part where they talk about the mission in the wall. That's all I care about, and this chapter did nothing to make me care for the plight of Marley and whatever stupid war they have to deal with.
Part of me wants to say that some key characteristics about Gabi not only resemble Eren or a younger version of him, but may also express some of the characteristics Isayama originally wanted to use for Eren when he considered making him female (I mean, Gabi even has nearly the exact same hair style as fem!Eren). But although they both are quite similar in a sense and could have had potential of being even more similar, until you reach a certain degree, they split in very different directions. Gabi tends to appear significantly more childish and carefree in the sense that everything is a game, while Eren has always been quite serious and often characterized as "angry". She and Eren both make similar reckless decisions and both speak similar dialogue, but they're quite different at the core based on assumable experiences and the environments they grew up in.
There are so much new good elements, I hope Isayama will do well 'cause the story is really interesting. Aside from that, the fact that Eldians (Gabi&Co) seem to enjoy fighting with their oppressor is disturbing, it's like a Stockholm syndrome...so different from Grisha and the revolutionist but to me they're all too radicals. Can't wait to knoe more about other nations
While there were definitely aspects that deserve creation (for instance we all know the amnesia thing was lazy writing) but overall I don't think the chapter was bad. I think the kids' unrealistic attitudes in battle was purposeful juxtaposition to the way our main cast has experienced war--it shows the extent of the brainwashing (I don't think it's that Isa is unable to consistently portray war's effects on people in a realistic way, like some claim). I'm wary but I think the story could be taken in some interesting directions. It would be really interesting to be reintroduced to our main characters through the eyes of the new ones, especially if our heroes come storming in like enemies--really playing into the moral grayness.
Time skip means we will see older version of the main characters and that's both exciting and terrifying af
One can only hope that Isayama graces us with Levi wearing a ponytail after this.
I was waiting for the story to explain what's going on the other side of the ocean. But not from these "copy and pasted" brats. Reiner is seen in just one panel and Zeke is barely mentionned. That's a shame.
I'm not buying the racial war yet. Grisha's sisters death was a stand out moment where I actually felt the horror of the war/racial conflict. So I have faith Isayama still has some gut punches left. But the clunky worldbuilding and shallow new characters are just not doing it for me. Isayama needs to invest in character moments because the human war narrative he has going right now doesn't have enough nuance or intrigue to stand on its own as of right now. This new outside of the walls world isn't immersive enough yet. Thanks momtaku for having these polls! They are always fun. :-)
I personally don't like Gabi that much. She put herself in danger, and I'm sure Marley would prefer to have someone much more tactical, or at least someone who doesn't put their whole life/operation in danger by pulling some silly stunt in hopes of getting noticed. I thought it was a very risky thing to do. But that's just my opinion.
meh
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Kahoot! Is For Everyone!
Educators, business corporations to senior citizens, it seems that everyone is jumping on board the Kahoot! train. Kahoot! is definitely an online game for any age level. The game allows for groups of people to become actively engaged whether that setting be in school, business meetings, fire halls, elderly homes or even at home. Even data can be pulled from the Kahoot! games to identify something specific that a teacher or boss or manager is specifically looking for.
Before this class, my interactions with Kahoot! were to play the game as a review game. Through this class, I learned that Kahoot! is not just a review game. There is so much more to offer than review games on Kahoot! A Kahoot! can be a poll or also a survey. There are slides that can be created after either a question of any time with an explanation for students to understand the question better. Creating the Ice Breaker Kahoot! was one of my favorite Kahoot’s because this allowed for a more creative change from a normal zip around the room Ice Breaker, that many teachers use.
Kahoot! is for everyone. In January 2015 there were 30 million unique users. (Inclusive Design, 2015) In 2016, Kahoot! had a mouth dropping 1 billion cumulative participating players. (Kahoot!, 2017). Many players are in the corporate world and in other settings. Kahoots! are engaging at every age level due to how the person makes the Kahoot! They need to be creative to hold the attention of the player. High impact videos, images or gifs should be used. Multiple images should be used in the question background. This allows the player to visually see what the question is suggesting or describing. If the creator of the Kahoot! adds humor or creates memes that makes it more enjoyable to the audience, especially if it is a classroom setting and the memes are about class.
Kahoot! provides many opportunities for learners. Learners are given the opportunity to become empowered with information gained and then present this knowledge to their peers. They are the “learner to leader” (Inclusive Design, 2015) This game creates a level of competition like no other. The competition is friendly, but fierce. Students want to see their name on the board and know they are in the top five. They enjoy being smart in this scenario. For learners who are in special education, Kahoot! made specific designs just for their needs. There is imagery, visual cues like different colors, shapes, the questions are easy to read and the format is relatively simple. Students can play either individually or by teams. This is a bonus because if there is a classroom that doesn’t have enough technology for each student then having students on a team works fantastic in this situation.
One huge benefit to Kahoot! especially to educators is the ability to transfer the data to a spreadsheet. When the game is over and the teacher wants to see how the students completed the review before the quiz and the students did not do well, then the teacher knows that the students are not prepared enough to take the quiz. When reviewing the data, the teacher can pull out a lot of information about an individual student, a group of students or even the entire class. I can see myself assigning a Kahoot as a pre-test at the beginning of the unit for a base-line. I can use the same Kahoot! in the middle of the lesson for a Mid Check. I would be able to pull those particular students into a direct instruction small group and reteach where necessary. Then at the end of the lesson, I would give a post test for mastery. Students should be able to demonstrate mastery through the multiple times they played the Kahoot! and took advantage of asking questions, especially because learners can make their own Kahoot! account and play again and again until they have mastered the topic.
John Hattie’s research has definitely given much attention to how to maximize the impact on student learning. According to his research, when teachers see through the eyes of their students, students will reach a higher achievement level. He had several practices that teachers could use, for example: teacher clarity, classroom discussion, feedback, formative assessments and metacognitive strategies are the reasons for student achievement (Alber, 2015). Through metacognition, students will be aware of their own knowledge and their own needs of their education and hopefully become even more active in the classroom. I see Kahoot! playing a major role modeling this process with my students. I’m very excited for the school year to start with all of these new ideas, but just like the article says, I have to find the time to implement it all.
Works Cited
Alber, R. (2015, February 27). 5 Highly Effective Teaching Practices. Retrieved from https://www.edutopia.org/blog/5-highly-effective-teaching-practices-rebecca-alber
Www.corepublish.no, C. -. (n.d.). Inclusive Design- a people centred strategy for innovation. Retrieved from http://www.inclusivedesign.no/ict/kahoot-article172-261.html
/@erikh_83139. (2017, March 06). Kahoot! reaches 1 billion players. Retrieved from https://medium.com/inside-kahoot/kahoot-reaches-1-billion-players-db5664c1d1b7
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How to Optimize Your B2B Lead Generation Forms for Better Results
Forms deserve far more consideration than they get. Compared to how much time we invest in every other element of a lead generation campaign – the advertising, the content download, the landing page – the opt-in form often just gets slapped in like an afterthought.
That’s strange behavior, given that the information we’re gathering through that form is the whole point of the campaign.
Of course, so long as the rest of the campaign works, we can get away with default forms. But as advertising gets more expensive, and we’re expected to continually deliver more leads and better leads, we eventually have to up our game.
If you’ve come to the point where you’re not going to be given any more budget, but you’re expected to produce more results, and you’ve optimized everything else you can, it may be time to (finally) optimize your campaigns’ lead gen forms.
Having to optimize your forms might not actually be so bad. Thanks to GDPR, many of us have just recently gotten through an emergency primer on data management. We’ve buffed up our knowledge on what information to ask for and when. And so while it might take some testing to find it, the right tweak to an opt-in form could increase the conversion rates of your lead gen forms by 30 percent or more.
Forms can be conversion rate powerhouses. They can – if optimized correctly – deliver more leads and better leads.
What to expect when you optimize lead generation forms
But I’m not going to kid you… optimizing forms has risks. For starters, you need to be prepared for the fact that most of your A/B tests won’t work.
The other problem with testing forms is technical. If you’re the person setting up split-tests, and you’re not a coder, editing the code that creates forms can be truly terrifying. That code is much more complex than the code required to create a headline.
But the code and the split-tests are hardly the biggest problem, right? It’s those fields that are the devil.
What’s in those form fields has consequences for everything that happens downstream through the lead nurturing process. The information captured there affects the marketing and sales department.
Usually, when you test a regular landing page, you don’t have to call a data governance meeting. You don’t have to put people’s paychecks on the line. But with form testing, you might.
So, take a deep breath, and plan those preliminary meetings. Find out where the different players stand on the data being collected in your opt-in forms. Who knows… you might think that removing just one field – like the telephone number – will start a mutiny in your Sales department. But maybe it won’t cause a scuffle at all. Maybe Sales has been getting so many bad numbers from those forms for so long that they don’t even bother to call them anymore.
The benefits of this work are worth it. Expedia removed just one field on their sales page that was confusing visitors. The lift from that test was enough to drive an extra $1 million in sales per year. And even mighty Marketo earned itself 34 percent more leads by testing the length of their forms.
How many fields should your forms have?
Generally, the fewer fields you have on a form, the better. But that’s not always so. ConversionXL did an oft-cited test that actually found removing form fields hurt conversions.
Still, it is definitely possible to get greedy with information. This download page has 17 fields. They don’t just want your job title. They also want your “Job Area”, “Job Function” and “Job Level”.
What’s an ideal length for forms? It depends. Every company’s data requirements are different. But as a general rule opt-in forms should be as short as possible, but long enough to accomplish your goal.
4 Lead Gen Form Strategies
As you design and test your forms, don’t just get stuck on how many fields they have. Step back and take a larger view. Forms have evolved considerably in the last decade or so, and it may be time to re-evaluate how you use them, and even if you use them at all.
There are four major new strategies for forms. Consider testing these approaches as much as you test the number of fields in each form:
1. Two-step forms
Two-step forms are deceptively simple. Instead of showing your visitor an opt-in form, you’d show them what basically looks like a large call to action button. The image / call-to-action graphic would have copy that says something like “Find out why 78 percent of B2B content marketers fail”.
When someone clicks this call to action, a form pops up – basically a simple opt-in overlay like the ones we’re all so used to seeing when we come to an ecommerce site.
The second step of a two-step opt-in looks exactly like any other opt-in form. And these “second steps” can have one field, or four fields, or 10.
Here’s what the two-step opt-in on SumoMe’s site looks like. This is the first step:
When you click on that button, you get the opt-in form:
*Notice how it even pre-populates some information it already knows about me? We’ll talk about that in a moment.
The reason these two-step opt-ins can work better than regular opt-ins is because the user has more invested in the process. Even that one little click is a wee investment of focus and effort. It’s just enough to make people slightly more likely to finish filling out the form, simply because humans prefer closure.
Do two-step opt-in forms work? They can. According to one Unbounce test, their two-step opt-in converted 1,147 percent better than the exit pop-up they tested it against.
I think even the most skeptical of us would be partial to testing a two-step form with an example like that. Even if you only get 10 percent of the results Unbounce did, you’d still be looking at a 115 percent better opt-in rate.
2. Forms, no forms, and optional forms
Think about your larger goals before you place a form in front of every piece of valuable content. “Gated content” may generate leads, but sometimes you have to remove the gate in order to let people see how good the content is.
It might be smart to actually ungate some of your top-of-the-funnel content. According to David Meerman Scott, ungated content gets 20 to 50 times more downloads than gated content.
So if you’re among those marketers who want to build brand awareness almost as much as you want to get leads, consider removing your forms.
Consider doing this even if you’re solely focused on leads. A few companies, like Drift, have actually removed all their opt-in forms. Incredibly, they claim this move has netted them 15 percent more leads, a shorter sales cycle, and significantly more business.
How could this be? Well, more people are now accessing their content. Without the gate, there’s less friction. And they still do have contact forms – optional lead generation forms. The prospects who voluntarily fill out those forms are much more interested than the people who had been forced to complete them before. As a result, lead quality has gone up dramatically.
3. Forms within interactive content
Forms don’t have to just protect text-based documents, or even videos or email sequences. They also have a place in interactive content. In fact, interactive content may be one of the best lead generation tools available to B2B marketers.
These type of “forms” can be assessments, quizzes, or polls. They are certainly a major evolution of the humble opt-in form, but are they really all that different?
Interactive tools often work best if they have an ungated part, too. That way visitors can use the interactive tool to get some basic information, but if they want to know more, then they need to give their contact information.
Here’s an example of this in action. The Email Marketing ROI Calculator is an excellent, useful tool (an elaborate form) even if you never get the benchmark information.
But notice how smart that little form is. It asks for company size, industry, current email software and a business email address. That’s lead information. This could be a genius little lead-generation device for an email marketing company or an agency. (But they would need to add a checkbox allowing the company to send them newsletters and promotions; otherwise they’d be in breach of GDPR. More on that in a moment.)
4. Progressive profiling
What if you didn’t have to ask for so much information in the lead generation form? If you could create a nice, lean opt-in form with 3-4 fields, but then use later messages to learn more about your prospects?
That’s progressive profiling. It makes things far easier on your prospects… but it is a bit more work for you.
Here’s how a simple set-up might work. Say you have an opt-in form that asks for:
First name
Last name
Company
Email address
Permission to send them updates and promotions
Immediately after someone has filled out this lead gen form, they get their gated content via a link in an email. That email also includes a question or two. These questions have multiple choice answers, and each answer is a link.
If your prospect clicks on any of those links, they get tagged with that information. Going forward, you can segment them out so they get content (or an entire lead-nurturing program) tailored to their responses.
Here’s a real-world example of this from Remotive’s welcome email:
This tactic keeps the opt-in forms short (and conversions high) and gets you all the information you wanted.
How GDPR affects forms
As I’m sure you remember, GDPR went into effect on May 25th of this year. You may be reading this article in part because now that the dust has settled, you have to rebuild your email list.
Here’s the simplest way to describe how GDPR affects opt-in forms:
1. Don’t pre-check any boxes on your opt-in forms.
If you’re offering a sign-up form and plan to use the user’s contact information for anything that is not expressly described on that form, you need to tell the user they are also signing up to have their information used that way.
Here’s an example of this in action: If someone gives you their information in exchange for a report, you may NOT automatically add them to your email list and send them marketing messages without their express permission (or “consent”, in the language of GDPR).
You’ll need to either ask for permission in a separate checkbox beneath the report request form, or you’ll need to explain that requesting this report also adds them to your marketing emails list.
Like this:
Don’t send them follow-up surveys, “partner announcements” or anything else. If you did not specifically tell them they’d be getting that stuff when they signed up, don’t send it to them later.
2. Mention that you have a privacy policy, and include a link to it.
Many companies are also adding language to their opt-in forms that reminds people they can unsubscribe at any time from any email. This is basically just good GDPR etiquette. Hopefully it won’t hurt your conversion rates, but will instead actually build trust with your visitors – they’ll know you’ll be good with their information, so they can trust you with it.
3. If you might want to send other types of messages (like the aforementioned surveys), or use these peoples’ information for something else later on, then ask permission for that, too.
Consider adding a checkbox below the form fields for these kinds of “we might also contact you about X” messages. And if you are getting consent for multiple purposes (like you need to confirm people are over 16 years of age, and you need to ask them if you can send them your newsletter) then consider having two checkboxes.
Like this:
4. Don’t ask for information you’re not going to use.
The spirit of GDPR is to let consumers control what companies and entities know about them. A small part of that means that unless a business has a plan for using the information they collect, they shouldn’t be collecting it. This, clearly, nudges us all towards shorter opt-in forms. But it also presses us to only ask for the information we truly need.
11 Testing Ideas for Lead Gen Forms
Now that we’ve talked about all the possible things you could do with forms, where should you start to test?
Here’s are 11 ideas:
Test removing the telephone number. Many people really resist giving out their phone number. So much so that in one test, adding a phone number field reduced form conversions by 48 percent.
Test a two-step opt-in. Test a few actually – you need to know if the two-step format works… not if just a particular combination of design and copy is working. Two-step forms might also work really well in some places (like in blog posts), but not well at all in, say, landing pages.
Test pre-populating information in the fields versus having them blank.
Test labeling fields versus having the labels be pre-populated in the fields.
Test the incentive you’re offering to get people to sign up. Test this relentlessly. Test the format, too: Would “10 Ways to Cut Your Accounting Costs” get more conversions if it was a PDF, a video, a checklist, or a 10-day email series? Different content formats often get different conversion rates:
6. Test the call to action copy on the submit button.
7. Test the title of the opt-in field. Or if there is no title, test the description of your incentive or the copy that explains what people will get if they complete the form.
8. Test surrounding the form with an eye-catching color.
9. Test auto-completion for the forms.
10. Try testing where the form itself is. Upper right-hand corner? Just below the image of the whitepaper cover… or to the left or right of it?
11. Test validating form fields. So when somebody like me types in “wgonbfinbs” as their job title, the form asks nicely for something more accurate.
Forms for the beginning and the end of the buyer’s journey
Whew – who knew there was so much to forms! But you can see why they’re so important.
Just remember: Getting more conversions from a form is not everything. This is not just about getting more leads – it’s also about getting better leads. That’s why many B2B marketers are now prioritizing getting better leads.
That may well be the best argument for actually adding more fields to your opt-in forms. Sure, you’ll get fewer conversions. But if you make it just a wee bit harder for people to reach you, it’s possible the people that do complete the form will be more genuinely interested. And that could mean that sales won’t have to weed out so many mediocre leads.
That’s why opt-in forms are such powerful elements in your marketing. They may be the first step in your relationship with a prospect, but – done right – they can shape communication all the way through to the end of the customer journey.
Before you just slap that same-old form on the next landing page you create, think about what you want the final results of your campaign to be. Then adjust the form accordingly. It may be “only” the first step of your buyer’s journey, but it can shape that journey all the way to the end.
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10 Things I Love Sunday
We’ve had quite a few fun family weeks in a row with my parents stopping through town on their way to and from visiting my sister (and her new baby!) in Atlanta and my brother and sister-in-law coming through town right after that. It’s such a delight to have my family spend time with Lola and watch her grow as she learns new things and gets bigger with every visit. If you have kids and live hours away from your family, then you know how precious those times can be. Here are a few other things that I’m loving right now:
1. Can I just say right off the bat that the thing I love most this week is that it’s finally daylight saving so we get an extra hour of light at the end of the day—YAY!!! The time change thing definitely messes with baby sleep schedules for a bit, but it’s worth it if it’s going to be lighter longer …
2. AGGGHHH! That unicorn basket is perfect for toy storage—definitely something I would love to look at everyday, so I think I’ll actually keep it in the den to hold our nightly toy cleanup. It’s always a big win for me when I can find functional baby things that are also beautiful to look at and this guy is adorable!
3. Todd made this brownie mix last weekend, and while I’m not even that much of a brownie person, it was delicious!! It’s also egg-free, dairy-free, and gluten-free, so it’s a good option if you are having a party where people have some food restrictions or if you avoid those things yourself.
4. This phone may be enough incentive to get a landline again at the house (or would at least be a perfect office/dorm phone for places that still need an old school connection).
5. Can I get a YES/NO poll on “flatforms”? I feel that seems like a good way to get a little height without a heel, but are they clumsy to walk in or just like a flat shoe? I’ve had my eye on these but I’ve been hesitant to try them.
6. I’ve been switching up my coffee routine to try out my stovetop espresso maker, and I have to say it’s now my favorite way to make coffee! I steam and warm some almond milk while it’s brewing to make more of a latte with it and I love the thick rich flavor that this brewing method creates. It took me a few tries of experimenting with the heat level and amount of coffee in the coffee basket to find what I like, but medium-high heat for six minutes (I have a glasstop stove) with two full scoops (I think it’s a 10 gram scoop like this) seems to be just right for me. I’ve found best results with buying pre-ground espresso power that they sell in tins at the grocery store with the coffee, but I want to try it with a better quality organic espresso and see how the taste compares.
7. I’ve been pinning a bunch of art lately because I’d like to switch out some prints in the house and simple but graphic prints like this always catch my eye.
8. This sandwich is my current lunch obsession. It’s healthy and easy to make but also soooo delicious. Sometimes eating healthy (and mostly plant-based for us) can feel a bit “less fun” than the junk food versions, so I’m trying to store up a collection of recipes that we genuinely love and really look forward to.
9. I’ve been dreaming of a bedroom refresh and I love a new set of sheets every so often to mix it up. I really like pattern mixing with a printed duvet, so these could be really fun!
10. Can’t wait to hang this from a tree in our backyard this summer! I’m already sure it’s going to be a big hit!
I’m currently debating whether or not to have a small or bigger first birthday party for Lola in May. First birthdays are so special in a lot of ways, but it’s also the season in her life when she has no idea what a birthday is so maybe I should save myself extra work where I can? The decorating part of me wants to go big with a fun theme (rainbow maybe?) and invite a bunch of people over, buuuut I’ve done that stuff enough to know what a big job it all really is, so I can’t decide which is best. What would you do?? xo. Laura
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