#i say only partially joking
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TADC Theory: Caine was the FIRST human in the digital world:
We need context first so here is a quick review of what you need to know:
The story of Cain and Able is simple. The two men, sons of Adam and Eve are making sacrifices to God. While Cain’s sacrifice was more physically abundant, Abel’s sacrifice was more substantial because he sacrificed ‘more’. Cain didn’t stand to lose much from his gifts. Regardless, Able was chosen as the winner by God. Filled with jealousy and rage, Cain killed Able and committed the first act of murder on Earth. God exiled Cain and he was forced to wander. God did add protection to Cain though as Cain was worried someone else might try to kill him. According to Genesis 4:15 though, God marked Cain and said anyone who killed him would receive a sevenfold punishment, or a punishment seven times worse. How does this connect to TADC?
C&A (the company’s logo we see while Pomni is running through the ‘Stanley Parable’ looking office) presumably stands for Caine and Able! Yes ‘Cain’ is spelled differently for the show. Anyway, in this scenario the CEO would be God. He oversees all of the company, and that makes Caine and Able in running for the company’s chair.
Caine and Able both present something to the CEO to win his favoritism and put them in running for the position. The CEO chooses Able. After, Caine does something to betray Able (could be anything from sabotaging Able’s gift, to murder), the CEO forces Caine to work on TADC (or send him back, either works), exiling him and ruining his opportunity to be the favorable one at all. Perhaps he worked in a division by himself, protecting him from others who may take issue with his presence. The CEO has marked Caine as someone not to be messed with, much like God did for the biblical Cain. Caine (the pearly white one) gets sucked into the world; he is the first human to get stuck there. He is forced to wander the digital plane.
Since Caine was working on the game though he knows access codes and the likes, so is able to grant himself abilities to alter the world. But he doesn’t have total power (and I don’t think he wants it). But as more people get stuck in there, Caine, who worked to make the world, feels bad for how it has trapped them, so he tries to help them not only as an apology but to try and redeem himself for betraying his ‘brother’.
Perhaps Able is actually dead, and Caine, true to his namesake, killed Abel to try and get the company passed down to him. Can’t pass it to the dead brother after all. Regardless, Caine would be in control of virtually (haha) everything except for the minds of other humans, something that no code has access to.
Something I didn’t mention was that Cain, in the original biblical story, worked and built a town after his exile. What does the ringmaster Caine do? Make a habitable place for human minds in the circus. He gives them enrichment and entertainment, knowing full well that this is not a holy paradise. But he does make the most of it. And once again, here he is protected, having a high status that no one dares to test. He has built a salvation for him.
Of course this is all based on a single name, a company logo, and a Bible story, but I don’t think it’s a bad theory even with all the speculation. It’s at least plausible.
#the amazing digital circus#TADC#tadc caine#caine#theory#the amazing digital circus theory#I’m over here studying the fucking Bible for this#albeit#I’m not studying very hard#STILL#aside from that one story where a bunch of pigs drown themselves this is the most invested I’ve ever been in biblical literature#side note to my theory: a LOT of CEOs like to play god#so this theory is actually based on reality as well#i say only partially joking
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Coming out as a Hey, Melissa! defender, she’s just girlie pop and I think catboy Paul and dogboy Ted are great additions to the lore ✌️🐈💖
#if people try to come at me this is half joking#I do love Hey Melissa but I also totally get why lots of people probably find it ick#I’m in the Hannibal fandom among others so it’s wasn’t really worse than the other eps for me#only real traumatizing part of it for me was Jon Matteson saying ‘mommy’#that was scarring#hatchetfield#starkid#hatchetverse#nightmare time#hey melissa#melissa starkid#paul matthews#ted spankoffski#a hint of#chai coffee#tw partial nudity#tw minor injury#art i made#image description in alt
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He just really wanted to show his new shoes but saw an opportunity and ran with it
Yeah we entertain ourselves with funny silly flirty ideas /)/////(\
#gianttiny#giant tiny#giant/tiny#sfwgt#gtfluff#niart#sd#shop#terri#the throuple#humina humina hhumina#awooga awooga#he looks good and he knows it#and he got dem daddy milkers#i am only partially sorry for saying that#i hope whoever reads this understands that that is a joke and that we like to come up with stupid things to say to SD#things that would make him go please never say those words again in my presence#same energy as annoying one's cat or dog
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So you know how Snape gets mad when he sees Harry peeking through at him and Filch
And Harry immediately assumes it was because Snape's up to evil and got busted for it (although it's more than likely it was actually because Harry wasn't supposed to see this at all)
Well, I have a lil theory about the actual reason he got mad
See this:
This is what Snape was saying before he sees Harry.
So I present to you my theory:
Snape was actually just embarrassed because Harry caught him whinging like a twelve year old in his natural Severus voice and not the Professor Snape voice.
#this is only partially a joke#severus snape#harry potter#pro snape#i can just imagine the whiny tone he's saying that in
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paul mccartney you're gay and that's final
for legal/ethical/moral/psychological/spiritual reasons this is a joke
#which could mean nothing. of course.#is this too long? yes. but i had like 10 other songs i mulled over adding so be grateful.#i might say fuck it and edit it and add them back in so dont bitch about it#anyway. yeah the title is a joke but i feel like an interesting story is told through some of these songs. i tried to only do songs im#convinced are at least partially about john. hence the waffling on other songs. there's a lot of songs that follow a similar theme but im#like. eh. dudes been married thrice and widowed who knows whats about who ykwim?#i could be convinced however. im easy like that.
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void sent this post to me and i knew what i had to do
#rambling#idv#identity v#evelyn mora#idv faro lady#keigan nicholas keogh#idv clerk#idk if keigan would say that but it's for the joke okay#i love that they connected evelyn not only to martha but also to keigan#and while yeah everyone's excited over the yuri potential of her and martha#i'm very partial to her and keigan <3 mother and daughter kicking ass together
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Good morning gamers! Hope you all have a good day! <3
As for me...😔 I've perhaps developed. A 4th Yakuza crush...I gotta stop! I can't keep developing more!!
#pan rambles#1st we got I.chiban <3#Who I'm certain will become an official f/o- I just need to reach his games. which will take a while#Second we got Y.agami who IS am official f/o <3#I was going through his tag this morning so he's on my mind today#So many kisses for him!#3rd we got...#Well. Uh.#D.aigo...😔#It was supposed to be a joke! I kept joking about him and my s/i dating at some point!! and then suddenly it didn't become a joke anymore#and 4th is...#I'm not saying who it is-#However I will say that the second I read that he was partially based off of L.upin III and S.pike from C.owboy B.ebop...I knew I was doomed#(For Context. L.upin III is like. an unlisted f/o of mine. Long story as to why I prefer keeping it that way but yeah)#(And S.pike is a pretty recent crush of mine👉👈 I always thought he was pretty handsome and watching the series only made me love him more)#so yeah#A man partially based off of two of those??? It's so over for me😔#Thankfully I still got a while before I play Y.akuza 4!! I'm safe!!!!#Kinda-
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So I posted a thing about how I'm the only person actively using Tumblr in Norway. Kind of as a challenge to the internet to correct me. And like, surprisingly, no one did.
So I guess I'm a real princess after all. Honorary, self-proclaimed title, of course. There is an actual royal family in Norway, and I ain't claiming to be part of that. But I *am* literally, as far as I can tell, representing the entire kingdom of Norway for all of tumblr by myself.
Mark today's date, yall. Or like, save this post. People had a chance to prove me wrong before I made it.
For the record I'm like genuinely doing my best to portray a decent image here, so to the 5.5 million people who live here, I hope I'm doing a good job. I certainly don't claim to know or represent what you think. All I can say is what I've felt like living here. And that's incredibly subjective. I never for a second thought I was alone here and the fact that I seem to be is low-key scaring me shitless. I've always had to represent people. I'm always the only black girl in my friend groups. I'm always the only American whenever I'm out somewhere in Norway hanging out. Never in a million years did I think I was the only person on Tumblr talking with the perspective of *actually living in Norway*
I'm definitely not going to freak out about this. I'm just going to go to work and things are going to be normal. Yup. Representing an entire kingdom to a worldwide internet community doesn't have literal political ramifications. And I've already been.... like all this time..
This is normal. Yes. This is something everyone goes through once in a while. Perfectly normal
#Princess Mihai#for legal reasons this is... only kind of partially a joke#for legal reasons I'm not literally a princess#for legal reasons seriously Norwegian royal family I'm not trying to say or do anything against you yall are cool#also for legal reasons I love everyone reading this
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ushijima wakatoshi is a nepo baby
#SORRY I HAD TO GET THIS ONE OUT#(partially) joking as always y’all know i love him#but come oooooooon . . .#utsui is an alumn#mom’s family is old-school traditional and wealthy#i’m willing to bet she was a former student too#anyways it’s insane that the only way to get is either#study hard for the ridiculously insane entrance exam or a fucking sports scholarship#i have thoughts on these about shirabu but that’s for another time#ushijima wakatoshi#haikyuu#haikyuu!!#sou says stuff
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When I was a kid I thought Invader ZIM made up the chupacabra.
#See Gaz is trying to get rid of her paranormally-obsessed brother at the mall and she says “Dib I think I saw a chupacabra over there”#and he’s like “a chupacabra? But there isn’t a goat to feed on for miles!!!”#which has the exact rhythm of a completely nonsensical Invader ZIM joke so I was surprised to discover it was only partially nonsensical
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i love writing this scene because i love pointing out how quickly merfolk go from "haha silly/absurd cute animal" on land to "oh god oh god oh GOD thats a very very large predator and i will not be able to escape in time" the second you get into the water with them
#all the care guide says is 'biomass'#miravi.txt#you know. its the crocodile principle.#its easy to make them into memes when theyre being flat fucks basking in the sun#its harder when youre swimming next to one#also yeah this is partially inspired by how people respond to miri in an ooc sense#and how many of the joking comments people make about her only apply to her on land#its not even her doing this on purpose its just anthropomorphism i believe#where its harder to rationalize her as human and not Dangerous when shes in her element
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:((((((((( boss didn't buy me lunch like they normally do on people's last day. Commence absolute minimal effort to finish out this job.
#totes bro#he like. forgot. its not exactly targeted#just emblematic of how they take me for granted#IDK! i just think i shouldn't have to office manage my going away lunch#if he doesn't take me to dinner i will block his number upon exit so he cannot ask me any question ever#its an office joke how much i enjoy free food#absolute minimal effort from this second on#this doesnt count as one of those things that therapy would be like 'dont assume people can read your mind and say how you feel'#1. because i don't have a different relationship to him than literally every other coworker#2. he's my boss and not like someone i care about on a personal level#:((((((((((((((#not to keep bringing this up but im the only person they didnt get a wedding gift either#i. don't. care. if its usually my job to arrange this partially and remind my bosses#am i supposed to arrange my wedding gift and going away lunch because i do office managing?#i dont even have my bowl to eat my sad frozen bag of peas because i left it accidentally#i on some level knew this would be the case
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being an artist means everyone suggesting u go into an art career or art school and being smart means saying Hell No every time
#sorry this is like partially a joke but also not really#ive grown up around enough professional artists to say that i absolutely do not want to go into art as a profession though and actually#i kind of discourage it for others too#its not a very stable career and also if art is your passion then you should really really reconsider#because art school and especially art career can drain that love and passion right out of you#im not trying to fearmonger or crush anyone’s dreams or anything i think that an art career can be really fulfilling for some people#but i also think a lot of younger or self taught artists will want to have a career in art because it’s something#theyre already passionate about and it seems like an easy choice#to just do what you like to earn money#and that sounds great but being a professional artist will turn “doing what i love because i love doing it” to#“doing what i love because i have to do it” and that can really quickly turn into “doing what i used to love but now resent bc i have to ea#i once started drawing only kind of because i felt like i had to for fandom reasons and that killed my enjoyment of art for like.#5 whole months. i had to retrain myself to be passionate about art.#so for me an art career is the absolute last thing i want to do
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'people should make weirder gender headcanons,' i say, looking at my main group of OCs, of which none of them use they/them except innocence (who is genderfluid)
#you have:#des (he/she bigender man/woman; no preference)#night (it/its; nonbinary butch lesbian [in a gender way])#silver (he/him agender with no gendered terms)#prayer (it/xe; some sort of genderweird)#grace (he/him in a vaguely transmasc way that isn't actually transmasc like he's not. binary. but he's also Not not binary??)#and moth (sae/sem/sair/sies/saeself; some flavor of transfem but in a very nonbinary way)#and innocence doesn't even Primarily use they/them. they cycle through Everything#i just use they/them for them because my brain shits itself if i try to rapid cycle through every pronoun possible#if you have two pronouns i'll alternate when i remember to. three i'll struggle but i'll try#4+ and i will probably give up and stick with one on any given day#i just cannot keep that much in my head and i cannot keep up with innocence's gender fuckery#this is why IWSY is second person! /hj#anyway i'm not biased at all why would you say that /s#IWSY#also yes i included innocence as an OC. let's be real past a certain point if you headcanon for them enough#they become an OC. mx 'has no canon dialogue and is mentioned exactly twice in vanilla and only once more in downpour' innocence#IWSY being second person is only partially a joke because that was a legitimate reason behind like. the design for the innocence of youth#i saw no canon pronouns for innocence and wind and was like. okay how do i write this in a way that completely avoids using pronouns#for innocence that ended up being writing their fic in second person#wind i did a funny thing of manipulating the narration to never use pronouns#i guess you could also say that in a way this influenced my all pronouns innocence and no pronouns wind#but that's not really it for innocence. genderfluidity just felt right for them
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Who wants to be my sugar daddy/sugar mommy? Now taking all applicants, must be willing to pay 4k/month to fund my full time vtuber dream, serious offers only.
#either that or I need an end to capitalism immediately so I can get on the grind for the one thing that matters#without having to go to a full time job instead just to support myself and survive#fuck money for real for real#but also#if you give a lot of money to me I might just let it slide#I would like to be very clear#this is only partially a joke#in that I am saying it in a joking tone because I don’t think anyone will seriously apply to give me money just for being a cute girl online#BUT#If anyone WERE to want to do that#It would be 100000% welcome#I shouldn’t have to work to make my own money#and I should be allowed to apply that time to something much more constructive instead (giving myself a better life)
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I've been mutuals with some people for years.
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