#i say genuine bc some kids have a terrible fake laugh that is just them shrieking or being on purpose annoying

[daisies-on-a-cup]

genuine children's laughter and sweet kitty purrs are literally guaranteed to heal anyone

[elysianslove]

hihi, can I request smth! Idk of this comply to your request rules cause I can't find it in your blog (sorry!!) The request is hc with Atsumu, Kuroo and Iwaizumi with an s/o that is considered a bitch by people. Like they don't let anyone walk all over them, people are scared of them but admire them esp in terms of academics but they're actually v loving and a big clumsy mess.

hii!! yeah i don’t really have a set of rules for requesting mainly cause i couldn’t think of any haha, but your request is more than okay! i’ve been obsessing nonstop over atsumu especially recently, and today wasn’t the best of days for me, so this was nice to write heh. thank you for requesting it. i hope you enjoy <3

miya atsumu 

atsumu is obsessed w you

seriously, he is just enamored by you. the way you hold your ground and always stand up for yourself, never letting anyone saying anything about you pass by you, your presence so intimidating. he loves it so much. he’s especially fond of the way you’re not even a bitch, you’re just confident in who you are, and everything you’re good at.

he observes from afar at first, the way people shrink in comparison to you regardless of your height. your aura just seems so. powerful? he really wants to approach you, and because this is miya atsumu, the first thought that crosses his mind is this person needs to be mine <3 no he will not take criticism.

so he does. approaches you, introduces himself in a way like you’re already meant to know who he is and he’s just doing you a favor. his heart breaks into tiny little pieces when you just go, “sorry, but no.” 

like literally just that you don’t go in detail or anything. you just reject him so plain and simple it’s actually worse than a full fledged out angry rejection. osamu’s so impressed he ready to have you added to his future will. 

he grows on you, though, over time. atsumu’s so quitter, and your rejection had only spurred him on. he would’ve backed off, because is a consent king, as they all are and should be, but you’re always so prepared with a quip back at him and you never actually push him away. it’s like a flirty game of tug of war between you two. eventually, he asks you out again, and just for old time’s sake, you jokingly say no lmao. all blood drains from his face that you actually kinda feel bad.

generally, he’s very proud to have you as his s/o. he himself has dealt with people constantly being put off by him and his attitude, so to see you deal with it so well is kind of? encouraging? uplifting? yk? 

he also likes how people are both scared of you and admire you. like. he relates to them! you’re incredible! 

he’s always snickering when he sees a student approach you literally trembling like a leaf and asks for your help in something academics related. you always say yes, which is something that just. pinches at his heart. the student is also always so surprised at the fact that you’re willing to help. god. atsumu will never have enough of their reactions to you. 

when you grow more comfortable with each other, and he discovers what you’re truly like, the person you really are beneath, atsumu just straight up falls in love. he didn’t think you could be any more perfect for him, honestly. 

he’s loves the way people are so intimidated by you but he knows that just a few minutes ago you were doodling little hearts in his notebook. 

a part of him wants so many more people to be aware that sometimes you can trip over air, and that you’re not as elegant and stoic as everyone thinks you are, but then he’s reminded of the fact that only he knows you’re truly like this, and he shakes that part of him off. atsumu genuinely adores knowing this additional, secret part of you. he doesn’t think you’re fake at all for having what’s seemingly a facade. he just thinks not enough people know what you’re truly like, and that you’re a gem, truly. 

he’s also like weirdly obsessed with the two of you as a couple? he knows people are intimidated by him, and it’s so painfully obvious people are intimidated by you. he just. eats that shit up. 

he’d also be really supportive if it ever gets to you. super ready to fight anyone. he’ll always tell you “these fake bitches don’t matter babe we the only real ones 😼💯” god havejkdkd 

anyways i been fantasizing about having miya atsumu as my bf somebody help im going insane 

kuroo tetsurō

kuroo knows of you. everybody does. you’re like, exceptionally good at being one of the most talked about people and also being the most mysterious person in school. the duality has him heart eyes for you. 

what probably catches his attention is the way people talk about you, in general, but specifically regarding academics. he overhears a group of people like whispering to each other about you while you’re just standing there minding your own business. they’re just encouraging one of them to approach you and kuroo’s like hm ! let me butt in bc why not ! 

as a joke, he slides up next to you and points at the group of students and whispers, “they’re talking about you.” 

this obviously ticks you off and without looking back you stomp over to the students and just go, “if you have something to say about me say it to my face!” and kuroo’s just watching like ,,, damn that’s hot. the students are so confused and ten times more scared than they first were and one of them just squeaks out that they only wanted to ask for help and you just , “oh. okay! :D.” kuroo’s just ,,, he’s losing his damn mind. 

he finds you really interesting, honestly, the way you’re just so strong? like mentally especially. you’re really mature, and you have a strong sense of self. he admires that about you, and continues to love that even when you start dating. 

he does ask you out, and he’s a little surprised you said yes, he’s not gonna lie. but you did, from the first time, and he just took you out to a simple picnic date. it was very cute, and the whole time he made you laugh and you were a completely different person than what he had first seen and expected. 

he really likes the fact that you’re really confident in yourself in that you won’t let anyone step on you or walk all over you. like he just loves watching you hand someone’s ass to them because they decided they wanted to make a smart comment about you. seriously, he’s insanely in love with it. 

he realizes pretty quick that the only reason people are so thrown off by you or are scared to approach you is because no one really gives you a chance to be yourself? like they’re always expecting the worst from you, having heard all these terrible things about you that half aren’t even true, that they don’t even bother trying to get to know you. and that fact really bothers him a lot, he’s not gonna lie, because he believes you’re the best person he’s ever had the pleasure of meeting. 

he really loves that you don’t let it bother you though. he’s impressed with how it doesn’t matter if some friends turn out fake, because, in your words, “good riddance.” 

the two of you kind of feed off each other’s energies? like he’s super confident in himself, and so are you, so you two only benefit each other in your presences. 

to put it simply, kuroo is incredibly impressed with who you are as a person, and it warms his heart so much how you’re so incredible of a person in so many ways, in that you neither let anything pass you by, and in that you’re the cutest, kindest soul he knows. 

iwaizumi hajime

brat tamer #1 <3 

i think iwa genuinely doesn’t care. not about you! about the things people say. like he hears so many rumors about you and he’s like .... ok. oikawa’s always feeding them to him but he’s just? not bothered by it? doesn’t care? it’s irrelevant information for him anyways? 

but then. 

but then. 

he walks past a scene where he sees you just destroying this poor kid. you’re verbally destroying him. the kid’s buried six feet under at this point. you’re not even yelling, but the guy’s shrinking under your gaze and your words and iwazumi’s so mesmerized by the way you do it so flawlessly. you don’t stutter because you’re so sure of your words and so confident in your stance. iwazumi. hums in approval. like. hm. good for them. as they should. 

after that he starts paying more attention to anything he hears about you, because he wants to know more. he doesn’t know why. he just does. and then he hears all these different things like “they’re so good at everything they do they can’t be real” and “i would never speak to them if they were the last person on earth” like ? he’s so confused WHICH IS IT

so, because iwaizumi’s a pretty straightforward person, he approaches you. 

do not confuse this though, because iwa is a blushing and flustered mess as he asks you to hang out. he’s never done this before, and this is not his style, but he’s just so interested in who you are as a person he was doing it before he realized it happened. 

the way you react is so? sweet? 

it’s so different than that day he saw you murdering that guy for talking smack, you seem so light and loving he actually feels his heart beat a little too fast in his chest. 

as his s/o, iwaizumi likes that he can trust you with yourself. like a part of him will always have that protective side to him, because that’s just the person iwa is, and he’ll always feel the need to step up and speak for you. but another part of him is really amazed by the way you can and are so able of speaking up for yourself. he feels really proud at the lack of insecurity. 

he also feels really smug about being with you. because he knows people are intimidated by him, and especially by you, but now that you’re together, he feels untouchable, and he knows you are too. he likes that feeling of power a little too much. 

if you ever step out of line at some point, iwaizumi will definitely let you know. he’ll point it out, and if you resist, he knows how to get you down off the pedestal. he’s had brat taming training for years lmao 

but he doesn’t think you’re a brat, not at all. in fact, he thinks you’re the sweetest person ever. he loves the versatility of your personality and attitude, in that you’re not just black and white and there’s so much more to you, there’s always grey in between. he likes that you’re endlessly dimensional and that he’s always learning something new about you. 

he especially loves the side of you that’s so soft spoken. it’s so endearing to him how you’re one moment so angry you could murder someone in cold blood but then all of a sudden you’re pinching his cheeks and kissing the tip of his nose telling him how cute he is. 

yeah iwa really loves you hehe <3

[elizabeatrice]

Feeling Blue, Seeing Red (Chapter 69)

Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga #5

Updated: 19/8/2020 (more thoughts)

Bea is back with the lame punny titles~

Warning: !!! MANGA SPOILERS UP TO CHAPTER 69 !!! Duh.

Soooo I opened the raws this morning. Saw the spicy and went 'ohh shoot'. Then some of y'all say that some folks are hating Akane bc of this chap. I proceeded to panic, because fandom war is scary af. So I translated the chap for myself. And I just gotta say:

Aoi, Nene, your boyfriends are idiots. Y'all gonna be punching and headbutting the idiocy out of them for the rest of your lives and I'll be willing to pay for your karate classes.

The teen drama made me laugh so hard ahahahaha I guess this is what you get for hoping sensei will drop a bomb this month lmaoooo.

P.S. Teru you little shit

Man I don’t even know where to begin. This chapter is oozing doraaaaama and I can’t take it seriously no matter how much I try. I remember thinking, “Shoot, this is the ‘I hate you, I hate you too, proceed to make out’ trope in JSHK’s classic ‘oooh serious moment, eh? PSYCHE!’ style,” before bursting into laughter.

I swear I’m not making fun of it.

Because it’s already fun to begin with. Ahahahaha.

I do however, take seriously the long-awaited insight into Aoi’s mind. I hollered in joy, y’all. ‘Cause like ... finally!

(Also like ... ngl the development of Aoi and akaoi in this arc might come into play in my Shrek AU. Pls don’t ask. Yet. That’s not the official AU name I swear I just wanna confuse my readers ahahaha)

Back when chapter 64 came out I wrote something that was supposed to be the first of the Let’s Talk About JSHK Manga series but I ended up not posting it because I wasn’t sure about a bunch of things. Here’s an excerpt from that post, titled ‘Aoi and Her Blues’:

I mean, what did the minions do to her? ‘Remove unnecessary things’. Someone said they removed her inhibitions (I’m terribly sorry I forgot who said this because it’s been so long so I can’t put the link here, but if you know, feel free to send me the link).

But she has to be brainwashed, right?

She remembered enough about Nene. Enough to call her out on her feelings (that she still denies btw lol) and recognize Hanako from Nene’s wonderful description (or because Aoi could see him all this time and never said anything, who knows?).

Most importantly, she remembered Akane.

So apparently they weren’t unnecessary enough to be erased from her memory. Which I’d beg to differ if I were going to make this girl willingly sacrifice herself.

Would she let her best friend fall down into a pit full of giant insects, or let her childhood friend get impaled? I mean this is the same girl that cried when Akane and Yamabuki got together (by accident) and when Nene started talking to herself like a madwoman.

So yeah. Definitely brainwashed. Pretty sure now.

The one thing that bugged me is what she said though.

“I’ve always wanted to go somewhere far away.”

“Nothing will stop me from getting my wish.”

Btw these aren’t accurate word for word I’m just drawing from memory.

Is that a wish forced upon her by the brainwashing, or has Aoi been depressed all this time and ... y’know, therefore thought about ‘going far away’? I’m personally leaning more towards the first, but it still got me thinking.

Remember back in The Clock Keeper arc when she said there was something she wanted to tell Nene?

Can some creepy hands showing up in the gardening club’s album photos really warrant that kind of expression? Is it just me who got disappointed when the thing she wanted to tell Nene ended up being just that?

But if she did have such thoughts, why?

Maybe she was lonely? I mean Nene got so busy with supernatural shenanigans. Akane’s busy with student council stuff (and school wonder stuff). Though I don’t doubt for a second that he’d drop everything for Aoi, but Aoi’s not the kind of person to do that. And to be honest, I feel like so far Aoi hasn’t been shown having genuine interaction with anyone aside from Nene and Yamabuki without the other person being completely enamored by her. And even with Yamabuki that was just in that After School chapter.

So I guess my hunch wasn’t that far off. Still though. Still though. Is she or is she not brainwashed? Because as much as Aoi likes-but hates-but actually kinda likes Akane, I still don’t think she’s the type of person to stab her childhood friend until he’s got a hole through his fucking torso.

Throwing Nene into the bug pit I guess makes more sense if Aoi knew all along that the pit won’t lead anywhere too dangerous, and that Hanako wouldn’t leave Nene’s side. Nene’s perfectly safe with him. Sorta. She did get kidnapped and were about to be sacrificed after all. But heeey Hanako still showed up to save her in the end.

Stabbing Akane like that tho? Even if she knows he wouldn’t die in a boundary especially in his school wonder form? It just doesn’t feel like Aoi, man.

Then again she did say no one really knows her, and that anyone who does would end up being disappointed in her.

I’m really happy to know that she does not, in fact, appreciate all the attention given to her. Comedy framing aside, constantly having some random guy approach you to ask you out presumably every day is ... annoying at best. Kid deserves better.

So ya girl got some extreme trust issues. Strangers, even Akane and Nene, I could understand. But her dad tho? Is something going on in the Akane household? Bruh ....

How long has Aoi not been able to trust anyone enough to let them get close to her? Because if she’s been feeling like that about Nene all this time, Imma be super sad bruh. Nene is one of the most genuine kids ever (perhaps only second to Kou).

I understand that Aoi’s disappointed because Nene’s been keeping secrets, but honestly, who would believe you if you come up to them and say, “Hey so I summoned a toilet ghost and now I’m stuck as his assistant. The rumors about supernaturals are like, totally real, and can endanger everyone in this school for real, too. Also I turn into fish when I come in contact with water.”

Sensible best friends would either a) not believe you, or b) try to get you as far away from supernatural shit as possible ‘cause hello? Ya ain’t Miles Morales ya can’t just blast What’s Up Danger when monster of the week shows up.

Even if Aoi does let it continue, wouldn’t she wanna get involved? Would Nene let her get involved when Tsukasa’s still around? Ya girl got cursed, thrown off the top of a boundary, sent to literally nowhere and everywhere, almost got her body stolen by mirror monsters, kidnapped and taken into a fake world, and now trapped in literal Grim Reaper’s realm. Honestly, who would involve their best friend in this sort of shit?

It just makes me sad to think that all this time Akane and Nene have genuinely cared about her but she didn’t think they were. Aoi, my girl Nene literally threaded hell boundaries and high shallow water to save you!!!

Unrequited platonic love hurts just as much as romantic ones, y’all ....

Speaking of romantic love.

Hey, uh, Akane. For claiming to despise Hanako and calling him a slimy pervert, y’all kinda act the same way with your respective girlfriends when things get a bit heated up, huh? Even the teasing part.

Boy, you’re dumb af. You deserve that.

There it is y’all, it’s official. We got punches for akaoi and headbutts for hananene.

You deserve this too. But Teru’s face here is really annoying, I’ll give you that. Teru you little shit.

At least you’re finally gonna be useful. Let’s just see.

Hmm I guess I have to address the thing now.

Ahem. The thing. The pushing (pulling?) Aoi down, grabbing her neck thing.

Yeah I don’t get it either. Whether it was a creative choice taken in consideration to the actual character’s state or to just pander to the trope that seems to be marketable in Japan or both, I don’t really know.

I do however, have to remind you that none of these kids are in their right mind. One is possibly still recovering from the effects of brainwashing and dealing with not only extreme trust issues and insecurities, but also the sight of a gaping hole on her childhood friend and perhaps crush’s torso, not to mention having to deal with this in the middle of nowhere. The other one is the said person with a gaping hole on his torso, who almost lost his life-long crush, and even got stabbed by her in the first place.

They’re lost. They’re tired. They’re emotional. They’re frustrated. They’re two hormonal teens.

I think Akane thought Aoi wouldn’t listen to him unless he makes her. Which is why he went with exposing her by saying he hated her. Which is still a dumb move in my opinion. But Aoi rightfully got back at him. And honestly I didn’t think he really hurt her. I mean, it’s Akane after all. *shrugs*

The way I see it, the entire thing was a result from not only their current condition but also the uh ... not telling each other how they really feel all this time. Aoi with her issues, Akane with his secrets. They’re a ticking bomb. It’s horrible that they ended up hurting each other because of this (physically and emotionally), but I could see why it went like this. These two are flawed. Most importantly, they’re teenagers. They’re bound to fuck up in this equation.

Heck, I’ve fucked up worse in less endangering situations before.

But heeey once things get cleared between them they fall right back to each other. Sure things aren’t entirely resolved. But they’re gonna be okay. Teru’s there. Should be fine. Probably.

The thing is we as the audience who come into the story with a clear head can easily figure out the best, most sensible way to deal with the characters’ problems. But these problems affect the characters in (physical, physiological, psychological, emotional) ways most of us can’t immediately empathize with, which can make their bad decisions frustrating for us to see. We know it’s wrong. And when these characters have calmed down and healed, they’ll know that it’s wrong, too. If they’re not dicks, that is.

You know how it feels when you’re fighting with someone, and you know the best thing to do is to talk it out, but you just can’t bring yourself to? It makes things worse, right? And you’re frustrated, right? Unfortunately that’s just how humans are.

Even I let my emotions get the best of me when I judged the villagers’ actions back in chapter 68 hahaha (but I still think they’re awful).

It’s just my opinion tho.

And whooo everyone is officially here but Yamabuki (and Sakura and Tsukasa, but they’re bound to show up)! Catch up soon, my citrus child.

Lastly, I have the moral obligation to remind you that if akaoi’s confrontation ended up like this, imagine how hananene’s would be.

I’ll leave you to your deductions.

As always, feel free to discuss. Just ... don’t fight, onegaishimasu.

[mego42]

Best of Brio Hitlist: 1x05

Apparently I’m still doing this so that’s cool I guess. 1x05!!! Some absolutely top notch Brio content here, folks. This episode is packed with classics and overall I think makes my series top 10 list but don’t hold me to that bc I have a goldfish memory and there’s easily tons of stuff I’m not thinking about rn. 

More nonsense under the cut. 

Turner’s mustache is terrible how did I not notice how terrible it was before it’s literally all I can see

“Well maybe he didn’t know if Dean could read?” GOD WHY DID THEY SCRAP THIS LEVEL OF QUALITY CONTENT

Another flannel for Annie, still no girlfriend 

AND ANOTHER HOODIE FOR RIO

AND MORE RIO + ANNIE CONTENT

s1 truly was god tier

omfg I forgot Finn Collins was in s1 (if you didn’t watch t100 this is meaningless to you but let me just say it delights me to no end that two separate casting directors looked at that actor’s face and said yep that’s a fuckboy if I’ve ever seen one)

taking a page out of the shows book k and pretending this fake cancer storyline isn’t a thing

RIO!

HIS NAME’S RIO

oooookay

oh is his name Rio??

hEL P

I love slick!Beth and her lying superpower 

“There’s a band aid on my arm and it’s not mine” might honestly be the grossest thing this show has ever done

OKAY SO WAIT I will be the first to admit I pay v little attention to the Boland kids (for real which one is Kenny what is the other boy’s name I don’t even know) but isn’t Jane supposed to be the youngest?? And yet Beth hasn’t had sex since Emma was born???? I’m so confused

serious question does this show have a script supervisor

hello again turner’s terrible mustache

“I’m on Facebook too” tbh Rio seems more like a twitter person to me but what do I know

Before I go all caps, I love how Manny plays Rio cycling through amusement and impatience and irritation so quickly that he’s nearly doing all of them at once while dealing with Beth in the early eps, it’s such a rich performance

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH SOMEONE LIKE ME

it’s actually kind of weird hearing this line in context, I’ve watched it in videos so much it like, exists on its own

Was lowkey expecting a soundtrack to kick in after he said it and the shot to freeze frame or drop saturation

maybe something by hozier or kaleo

I’m absolutely fcking feral for the way Rio says “right, right” all slowed down and soft

Love how hittin’ it straight up bounces off of Beth’s brain, if Rio hadn’t clarified, how long do you think it would’ve taken her to figure out what he meant are we thinking minutes or would she have like, driven off the road halfway home when the shoe dropped

OH I’M SORRY SWEETHEART TELL HIM WE’RE MAKIN’ LOVE

I love love love how hard that scrambles Beth’s whole brain, I love it with my whole heart, I love how you can see it sink in, see her brain go there and then just b r e a k

Ugh god and that little smile when he ducks out after dropping that grenade what a little shit I love it

And then he leaves and that long shot where she’s like, really thinking about it

She’s totally picturing it

(same bitch)

That feels over the line my b

GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDD beth and annie giving ruby their cut gets me right in the godamn feels every time I love their friendship so!!!!! much!!!!!!!!!!!

right in the honey nut feelios <- @medievalraven

the extended shot of three of of them laughing their asses off over Annie being ridiculous feels so real, it’s one of those moments that makes the show and their friendship feel so lived in and genuine, like if you’d told me that was an outtake from after they’d cut I’d believe it, it’s pure friends having a moment and it makes my heart do stuff

beth: my life long bff (who you have known as long as you’ve known me)’s daughter is in the the icu I don’t have time to eat

dean: I don’t underStaND?????!!! hOw tHIS is nOT??????!!!!????? aBoUT mE???????!!!!!!!!???????!!????????

sidebar, I miss Beth’s camel coat it looks so soft and lush and comfy 

like don’t get me wrong the black pea coat has it’s advantages as we all saw in 309

but the camel one is so classy, i love it

hello again again turner’s terrible mustache

godDAMN DO I LOVE THIS BETH AND TURNER SCENE

we don’t talk enough about the electric chemistry turner has with everyone he shares a scene with

i mean not dean but who has chemistry with dean, dean has like, negative chemistry. he’s a dampner

all of his scene’s with Beth???? W H E W

with Rio????? *fans self*

can you imagine what that threesome would be like? aside from wildly hot they’d be like a pack of praying mantises at the end all racing to rip the others head of first

it’d be a massacre

but worth it

ahem anyway

AND HE KISSED ME add this line to the list of things I’m absolutely fcking feral over 

Something about Christina’s delivery just does!!! It!!!!!! For!!!!!!! Me!!!!!!!!

Whenever people use it in videos I lose my entire godamn mind

remember when Beth was chill about the word panties

And we close with a flawless use of Phantogram 10/10 I want to send the s1 music supe a gd fruit basket

[thewaterisblackwithvenom]

My initial impression of Kieran was that he was an anxious, weak nerved kiss-up. I mean he doesn’t make any attempt to fight back when Arthur captures him, even if he stands there and does nothing. Dude’s got a gun. Makes zero attempt to go for it. My initial thoughts was he was too cowardly to even fight back, when in reality Arthur was running for him with a lasso. His hands are literally full. Who Arthur is doesn’t really matter; he doesn’t have a weapon drawn and is clearly trying to take him alive. Unless he’s a massively terrible shot, he could’ve easily shot Arthur. Clearly he’s more afraid of what Colm will due to him than just dying(which makes sense, especially with how he went out : )))) ), so it really would’ve been in his best interest to die trying to kill Arthur instead of being captured, most likely killed, and most likely tortured beforehand. Far as I can figure, reasons for just surrendering would’ve been

Fear (logical, but with his biggest fear being whatever Colm would do to him, doesn’t seem as likely, even if he was straight up panicking)

Pacifism (not saying he’s a pacifist, but he’s definitely not a fighter by nature, despite his will to live) 

Once he’s captured, he holds out for about a month in sh*t conditions. He breaks once they turn their violent attention to him, but even then he still tried to hold out. The only reason I can think of why he wouldn’t just talk is fear of what Colm would do to him if he made it out alive. If he was scared that the Van Der Lindes would kill him after he talked, he could’ve stayed quiet longer, I guess, though really who could hold out when you’re being threatened with castration lmao.

After the fact, I expect my initial impression to be right. It wasn’t. I mean, I was 100% right about him being a genuinely nice person, not exactly cut out for outlaw life, and not a rat or weaselly person. Things I were wrong about were his general demeanor. 

He’s a naturally positive and friendly person. Despite being constantly picked on and flat out threatened, he’ll even greet Sadie(who is probably most likely to kill him in the beginning, let’s be honest) with a level of confidence I didn’t expect. He doesn’t slink around her with his head down, but is 100% aware that she hates him, and I’ve never heard him try to change that. He’ll greet her, but goes out of his way to let her know that “I’m here and realize that you hate me so I’m giving you space”. Anyone else who calls him “O’Driscoll”, he’ll get upset and correct them. Sadie straight up tells him to die and he doesn’t say boo. I love that he is aware of her pain and doesn’t try to change her feelings about him just so he can sleep better at night. He plays the long game; respecting her boundaries, and not giving her any other reasons to hate him, hoping that someday she’ll maybe at least not despise him for just being connected to her enemies in the past. He could b*tch and moan about how he had nothing to do with Jake’s murder; he wasn’t there, he didn’t pull the trigger, and he didn’t want that to happen. He really is innocent. But he leaves that and her the f*ck alone, the only contact he initiates is just general politeness. She makes real threats, and he has ever reason to believe her, but he still has the balls to not cower around her. If anyone else in the gang makes any kind of “O’Driscoll” comment, he gets genuinely irritated and corrects them, even if it’s hopeless. Not just the women, who(save for Sadie and Mrs. Grimshaw) aren’t a threat. But he’ll get upset and snap back at Arthur and Javier that he’s not an O’Driscoll. I don’t believe for a second that Kieran thinks he could beat either of them in a fight. He’s not a fighter, and he’s also not stupid. He’s survived about half his life being beaten around. The reason he’s survived could be luck, but also him knowing how far he can press his luck with very dangerous people. I used to find it amusing in the beginning when he’d snap back, because like. Lmao, you really wanna get upset with Arthur? Seriously? Dude. Don’t go there.

He stands up for himself, and is confident enough in himself to be as bold as to say to Arthur’s face, that he’s not a bad person, and that’ll he’ll warm to him eventually. That also caught me off guard, because I was under the general assumption “god this kid is me. anxious af, doesn’t like people, just likes horses”. I projected far too much lmao, because despite him feeling more comfortable with horses, he’s pretty outgoing, in a confident way. If people are just indifferent to him, he has no problem going out of his way to greet people with confidence. When he’s being bullied, he’s ballsy enough to stand up for himself, and when people are genuinely nice to him, he’ll show signs of being flustered/anxious, likely due to the fact he probably has very little experience with kindness. Whatever kindness he experienced outside family was most likely fake and extremely conditional. He never made any comments about having relationships of any kind with anyone. His life has been about survival. He knows how to not press his luck with the wrong people, knows basic social manners(how to be friendly without being overbearing, how to give people space, and even when he helped Molly out of the stagecoach), but I feel like he has the least experience in healthy relationships. Relationships where someone is actually nice to him. That’s also why I’m 1,000% peeved that we didn’t really get to befriend him. Watching him come out of his shell more was so nice. Save for his massive guilt about Jack(which wasn’t even his fault anyway), he was finally starting to feel like he belonged there. Sh*t hurts man.

I think the thing that caught me most off guard was his level of confidence that you really get to see in his fishing side mission.

Arthur says that he’s(Arthur) not that great a fisherman, and Kieran, not missing a beat, comes back with “But I am! *laughs* I’ll teach you something.”, all of which happens seconds after Kieran is done straight up mocking Arthur’s teasing of him. If I hadn’t spent 5,000 years wandering around camp, and getting to see everyone’s personalities that you’d miss if you flew through story mode, that mission would’ve made my head spin. If your impression of Kieran is “soft scared horse boy”, there’s so much that happens in like, a minute that’d throw you off.

Arthur asks Kieran if he’s going fishing

Kieran, likely caught off guard by someone going out of their way to interact with him in a non-hostile way, says yes

Arthur, incapable of just being nice to him follows up with a threatening tone “... or running back to Colm O’Driscoll?”, bc f*ck this guy actually knowing I’m starting to warm up to him, I have to be a Big Tough Outlaw bc I am a Bad Man

Kieran, irritated and a bit nervous now, snaps back that of course he’s not 

Arthur responds by bumping his fist against Kieran’s shoulder/chest, gives an amused chuckle, and responds with “pffft, I’m just joking w/ u lol relax”  (I love this interaction because it really shows, at least to me, that Arthur is genuinely starting to like Kieran. instead of continuing along the lines of “watch yourself”, his tone and body language gestures that “I don’t mean it, I’m just messing with you”. Even if he’s still being an *ss, it’s not like his previous interactions. The playful physical contact, non-menacing laugh, and “I’m just kidding w/ u” comment are all friendly gestures. He wouldn’t do any of those if he actually didn’t like Kieran. Arthur’s not a touchy-feely “I’ll fake like I’m your friend so I can slit your throat later” kind of person)

Kieran’s nervousness instantly melts away and he responds with “wow. ur so funny. hah hah. rlly had me goin there. ur hilaaaaarious.” he’s 100% done and just rolls his eyes at this point.

Arthur just goes “shut up”, and I love the way he says it this time bc he’s more like. Offended/irritated that he’s being sassed instead of actually meaning “shut up or else”. He’s all “>:((( shut up brat” and it’s cute lmao. 

Not two seconds after Arthur tells Kieran to shut up, he absolutely doesn’t and invites him fishing. Like, a genuine “hey wanna go fishing?” and not like, a “desperate for your approval, please give me more opportunities to prove myself to you”.

Arthur says he’s not a great fisherman, and Kieran responds with “Yeah but I am!”, laughs, and says he can teach Arthur something.  I found this part super fascinating, because as someone with severe anxiety, my response would’ve been totally different. I’m confident in a few areas; I know what I’m good at, and what I’d be semi-competent at teaching people, but if someone-- especially someone higher on the social ladder than I am-- said that they weren’t good at something, that I was really good at, I always try and downplay things so as not to make the other person feel like they’re lesser than me. I like to think my art skills are decent, so if that kind of situation came up “I’m not a great artist”, my response would be more like “Heh neither am I, but I know some tricks that have made things a lot easier. I can show them to you!” Kieran straight up told Arthur Morgan that he’s a great fisherman, and could teach Arthur something. Former O’Driscoll, teaching Dutch’s right hand man something. That was a cocky move, even if it’s true. I love that he has the confidence to flat out say that without even backpedaling. Kid knows his worth and isn’t afraid to just blurt it out.

Arthur responds with a friendly “Sure”. Not like an “yeah alright fine”, but more like how he responds to people who considers friends. Come to think of it, other than certain instances where Kieran pushes his luck here, Arthur is friendlier/less hostile and grumpy with Kieran than he is with Sean lmao. Granted, Sean is uhhh, overbearing and obnoxious, but Arthur sees him as a younger sibling, not an ex-O’Driscoll. 

On their way to the beach, Kieran brings up past vs present. “who would’ve thought we’d be going fishing together when it wasn’t that long ago that I was tied up on the back of your horse begging for mercy?” He says it with such a light hearted tone like it wasn’t even a big deal. He could’ve died from dehydration/starvation/the cold, and he’s literally like “isn’t life funny?” Don’t know whether to be impressed that it didn’t leave him with serious trauma and resentment or said that maybe he doesn’t see it as that big a deal because he’s had worse. Either way, the way he says it is interesting to me.

Ofc Arthur has to remind him “how do you know I’m not dragging you away from camp to kill you?” bc again, can’t let this kid know I’m actually starting to like him. He Must Know that I am a Big Bad Threat.  “..because I saved your life”  “ya and every day I don’t kill you I’m saving yours” “you don’t mean that” “yes I do I am Serious so shut it” Kieran knows Arthur well enough that while the threat is still a touch unnerving, he has the guts to point out that he doesn’t mean it. he knows Arthur well at this point, and despite the slight possibility he might actually mean that, he choses to believe it’s just Arthur being... Arthur.

Throughout the trip, Kieran opens up about camp life and his past, and in general Arthur doesn’t have anything that nice to say. Arthur’s genuinely a nice person, but I wouldn’t call him “soft”, so that doesn't’ surprise me. Despite this, he’s not exactly mean to Kieran like he used to be. He’s not remotely sympathetic, but at the same time he wouldn’t be for really anyone else, either. Maybe the women bc women, but. However, towards the end, when Kieran talks about losing his family and being on his own since then, Arthur does comment along the lines of “well, look at it this way, you’ll never be alone again”. I could be misinterpreting it, but I think that’s Arthur’s way of saying “you’re one of us now”. Can’t really say anything nice to him or show sympathy, but “you’ll never be alone again” could’ve been his way of trying to comfort him in an offhand sort of way.

Not what Arthur meant, but I couldn’t help but laugh when Kieran was like “do you think Dutch trusts me now?” me and Arthur both laughed, sad thing is I laughed bc I’m like “yo Dutch don’t even trust Arthur lmaooo, shoot for something actually obtainable Kieran”

This is already five pages longer than I intended it to be lmao, but literally my entire point is that my impression of Kieran had been that he was a soft, nervy person with low self confidence. The way I see it, all the evidence proves that he’s a lot more than a lot of people give him credit for. 

He is a sweetheart by nature; I really don’t think there’s a mean bone in his body. He’ll stick up for himself and get irritated, but I can’t think of a single instance where he did or said anything mean-spirited. He’s helpful for the sake of being helpful, and is grateful for any actual kindness shown to him. He grows to genuinely care about the gang’s overall well being, and goes so far as to flat out state he’d give his life for Jack’s if he could, despite Jack being a brat to him in the beginning. But despite the fact that he’s a kind hearted individual, he will stand up for himself, and if the follower glitch dialog is accurate, he will engage in combat if he has to. A lot of his dialog is pretty snarky too, which I thought was interesting. I thought he’d be a lot more jumpy and nervous during a shootout, but again I was wrong.  To me all evidence points to his anxiety/nervousness all being circumstantial. It really only presents itself when his safety is actively being threatened, and in foreign situations(people going out of their way to be friendly to him; catches him off guard). So yeah, I think you could technically call him an anxious person and it be somewhat accurate, but he’s not anxious like people today are. His anxiety isn’t “across a broad range of circumstances”, as are anxiety disorders. I think it’s more accurate to say that Kieran is a pretty self confident, moderately outgoing person with a bright personality, despite the sh*t he’s been and still going through. And that’s what I love about him.

I started out feeling bad for him, with a touch of amusement, just for the fact that I really did pity him. He just seemed like such an unfortunate person. I felt really bad having to bring him in, because my general impression was that he’s really not meant for the outlaw life and was probably a nice person. Hated having to bring him in, but having read his bio before playing the game, I was at least relived that his position as part of the gang meant that me bringing him in wasn’t going to result in having to be the cause of his demise. Him being tied up for weeks made me feel really bad since I couldn’t do sh*t to help him out any, because Arthur didn’t give a damn. Poor thing didn’t even have shelter when it rained in 40℉ weather, and didn’t even have his coat on. Once he was free to move around, I was a bit surprised at how confident he was in greeting Arthur. Save for Tilly, in my game, Kieran greets Arthur more than anyone else in camp. Always bright and cheery. Seeing as how I spent most of my time in camp on the outskirts doing chores(see also: avoiding Dutch lmao), running into Kieran a lot was unavoidable, especially because Arthur’s morning routine is cooking breakfast by the campfire. Eeeevery morning, there’s Kieran. Literally can tell what hour it is by where Kieran is and what he’s doing, and vice versa. If it’s 2pm, I know exactly where Kieran is. With how much time I spent at camp, it didn’t take any time at all before I was very familiar with him. I never had any negative feelings or suspicion towards him, but other than our shared fondness for horses, I had no real reason to like him(pity isn’t exactly a reason to like someone after all). But I grew fond of him so quickly ever since dragging him down from Colter, especially after he saved Arthur. He was brave enough to stick up for himself, brave enough to risk his life saving Arthur, and brave enough to state that he’s “one of you now”. He does more than his fair share of chores every day, stays out of everyone’s way, and remains bright and friendly despite his sh*t circumstances. Oh and he loves horses. Those are the reasons I grew attached to him, and still am. I thought he was just 1889 me, but now I realize he’s a lot of what I wish I was. I love his confidence, despite the fact that he has no one backing him up. Ever. I have supportive people backing me, and yet if someone says sh*t to my face it’s going to make me seriously question my worth. Kieran Duffy fights back anxiety, plants his feet and defends himself. I’m f*cking proud of that boy.

Oh my GOD this is embarrassingly long lmao, but I f*cking love Kieran Duffy with all my heart and I feel like so many overlook how strong he actually is. He’s not an ~anxious soft boy~. He’s sweet, and kind, hard working and self reliant, open and honest, confident and snarky, and is just overall such a lovable, wonderful person. He’s not a weak little snitch, nor a skittish people-pleaser. He wants to be liked for who he is, and while he’s always trying to prove himself, he plays the long game and lets that happen naturally. He’s not a boot licker like Micah. I hate that a lot of the gang gave him such constant sh*t, and that despite the fact no one liked him, Micah was treated like “one of the gang”, when he said so much sh*t. Motherf*cker made comments about throwing out the women since they were “dead weight who you can’t even f*ck”, and older “less useful” members like Uncle and Swanson. Meanwhile Kieran works himself to death on a daily basis, but all the Big Men of camp pretty much hold his past over him constantly, despite the fact that he didn’t have a choice, and wasn’t even really part of the gang. It’s just really sh*tty and I hate it lmao.

I’m going to shut up now and pray to GOD this doesn’t make it into the tags or so help me I’ll tag it later lmao. 

[leviloveslemonpledge]

Hello! I'm so glad I found your blog bc as I can see there's not so much active aot blogs on tumblr now( Anyways, can you write a drabble (platonic!) at trainee squad with Armin? They've recently gotten there and reader is not talkative and even maybe seems to be a cold loner at first? It turns out that she can't humble the loss of her family and usually comes out the dorm and starts crying so no one can see her weakness. Armin sees it and talks to her and eventually they become friends

And with some more trainees as well!) Reader is actually a nice and caring person. I hope it’s not that much and sorry from any mistakes, I’m not from English speaking country. Have a nice day!

Hiya, I asked for a request with Armin aaaand I kinda changed my mind a bit. If it’s not too late, can you make reader pretty cheerful and optimistic outside instead of being reversed? She just hides her emotions behind that happy mask bc she wants to be strong but Armin notices that. Sorry I couldn’t write about this before, I’ll be more accurate next time! Of course you don’t need to rewrite it if you’ve already started

There’s more of us around than you think, we’re just hiding. ;D

I am so excited about this ask!! Hope you like it anon! :D

“Is it true you were in Shiganshina when those titans broke through?”

“Yeah, we all were.” Eren gestures to himself, Armin and Mikasa, who shrinks into her scarf. 

“So then… what are you doing here? With the scouts? If you know how dangerous they are?”

“They’re no big deal, really… I’m going to kill every last one of them!”

“You’re certainly braver than I am… I don’t want to take those things on!” Bertholdt exclaims, shivering.

“What?!” Eren yells, nearly climbing up onto the table. “What the hell are you doing here then?” Armin pulls him back into his seat with difficulty. 

“Eren, come on. Let them tell their side of things.”

“We have a mission.” Reiner takes a swig of water, downing his entire cup. “We have to join up if we want to get back home. It’s the only way.” Bertholdt nods solemnly.

“Home…I don’t think we’ll ever get back there…” Armin murmurs.

Noticing the dark shift in the table’s atmosphere, you squirm uncomfortably in your seat. Everyone’s lives have been devastated, yours included, but it hurts you to see them all in such anguish. You take a deep breath. You’re not sure if this’ll work, but you have to try.

“Come on now, everyone! Home may be far away, but if we give it our all and work together, it isn’t nearly as far away as it seems! Don’t lose heart, we still have a chance.” You force a smile, but it turns real as the light returns in everyone’s eyes. 

“That’s right! We’ll hit the books, get stronger. We’re not little kids anymore, we’ll turn ourselves into titan killing machines!” Eren bursts out. 

“Heh, yeah, no way I’m going to be weaker than a punk like you!” Reiner laughs as he grabs Eren in a light chokehold. With the table laughing and smiling again, you feel a sense of relief. Finally, you were useful, unlike that day…

Your smile drops as you remember the day the wall fell. Your family being trapped in the house while you had gone out to run some errands. By the time you ran back to them, it was too late. There were titans coming from every direction, and fearing death you had run. You’ve hated yourself for being such a useless coward since that day, and swore you would never stand idly by while people suffered ever again.

“Hey, Y/N, where did you say you were from again? You must be from a village further north with your lighthearted disposition!” Reiner asks with a big, teasing grin, still struggling with Eren.

With that, something in you snapped. Your smile vanished instantly, along with any feelings of warmth and camaraderie. 

“I…”

Your heart beats faster.

“I’m from…”

Your hands clench into tight fists.

“from Shiganshina.”

Suddenly you’re back to your home on that day, watching massive titans stomp casually through the city, towards your small family home. You so desperately wanted to help, and ran to them as fast as you could, hoping to beat the hulking monstrosities. When you rounded the corner you saw one rip the roof off with a small tug. It paused to look at you, it’s big eyes empty of any compassion, filled only with dulled boredom. A warm trickle flowed down your leg, but your body refused to move. It wasn’t until a passerby tugged on your arm that you were able to run. Run from death. Run from pain. Run from your family’s screams as they were eaten alive.

“Y/N?” Mikasa asks, her face laced with concern.

You can feel your emotions rising to the surface and start to panic. 

“What? Me? Of course I’m fine I just… um… I have to go to the bathroom!” You force a fake laugh as you rush out of the mess hall. Rounding the corner you press your back against the cold stone wall and finally allow yourself to break down. You sink to the floor in a distressed heap, quietly sobbing as you hug your knees into your chest.

“Hey… Y/N?” Armin places a hand gingerly on your shoulder. you look up at him, startled, quickly wiping away the tears flowing down your cheeks. 

“Oh, Armin, I didn’t realize you were…”

“Are you alright?” He stared at you, his eyes filled with worry and genuine care. It makes you feel weak and worthless, always in need of saving.

“I’m sorry, I’m being such a burden… Give me a minute and I’ll be back to myself again. I promise.” You refuse to look him in the eye, ashamed of yourself.

A spark of recognition flashes through Armin’s mind as he sees himself in your pained, vulnerable form. As he watches you collect your broken pieces for his sake, he can’t help but notice your strength and wish there was some way he could support you.

“Don’t put so much pressure on yourself to be strong on my account, Y/N. What we went through in Shiganshina… it was hell. We lost so many people, good people, and we have to honor their lives by remembering them. Yes, it’s hard and sometimes painful, but it’s better than if they hadn’t been part of our lives at all. I lost my grandfather during that expedition to reclaim wall maria, and I miss him terribly, but I know he’d want me to remember all the good times we had, and to be happy. I’m sure your family wants the same for you. We were kids back then, there was nothing we could do, but it’s like you said, if we work hard then one day, maybe, we can make a difference.”

You let out a sob, your own body betraying your determined efforts to stay in control. Soon your eyes run like rivers, and your hands fly to your face in one last attempt to hide the hurt you’ve been holding in for so long.

“It’s okay, Y/N. You don’t have to pretend, not for me.”

“I- I’m sorry Armin, I didn’t mean to bother you with this. I’m so sorry.”

He sits next to you on the floor.

“It’s a relief actually, knowing I’m not the only one hurting.” After a moment of contemplation he wraps his arm around your shoulders, then sits with you in silence for as long as you need.

[clean-bands-dirty-stories]

Birds ~ Stan Uris (part 1)

A/n: My first song prompt! Heard this and immediately thought of my bird boy. I tried to resist writing it bc I’ve already done a little series fr Stan but I couldn’t help it. Hope you enjoy! Also, y’all are aged to 17/18.

Anon: Pidge

Word Count (without lyrics): 3036

Song: “Birds” by Thomas Sanders ft. Terence Williams

MASTERLIST

I don't wanna drive a fancy car today; I don't wanna ride in a red corvette. I don't wanna jog my Saturday away, but I don't wanna go home yet.

Shoulders clashed together and two pairs of eyes met, wide. “I’m so sorry,” one of the people gushed before pausing, a small smile on their face as their head tilted. “Eddie Kaspbrak?”

Eddie found a smile moving onto his face. “That’s my name,” he confirmed. “And you’re fine, you didn’t kill me.” They both laughed. “What’s your name.”

“Y/n,” was the answer. “We went to middle school together but... you probably don’t remember me.

Eddie felt guilty. “I... do not.”

The giggle that came out of the new face was cute and Eddie found himself liking this person. There was a certain energy. Something that drew him in and made him feel so comfortable and warm. “It’s okay. I was a really quiet, shy, awkward kid. I kinda sat in a corner and hid behind books from... everyone.” An embarrassed expression passed over their face. “I’m working on being more social. Making friends. Try to make high school better than Middle school.”

Eddie scoffed. “Heard it’s worse.”

Y/n smirked. “Challenge accepted.”

This human being was intriguing. Eddie knew his friends would like them. “Hey, want to come meet my friends? We’re just a bunch of Losers but it’s somewhere to start.”

Y/n beamed. “I would LOVE to.”

After that, Y/n became a Loser. The others all felt the same draw as Edddie had, and they were welcomed with open arms.

Stan thought they were fine in a passive way. He seemed to be the only one not super excited about his new friend that they had... Y/n was madly taken with him though. They thought he was so good looking and funny, more prone to laughing at his banter with his boys and his nonaggressive insults than to take offense to them, as if they already knew that Stan’s way of showing affection was through eye rolls and snarky comments.

Freshman year was filled with making memories and adjusting to the shift. Y/n kept their promise in accepting Eddie’s challenge when it came to high school being lame. For every bad thing that happened Y/n set a good thing. A hang out during he weekend or a game night in the middle of the week. Sharing jokes at lunch or bringing cool books and exchanging the worst pick up lines with Richie, making everyone laugh. That was the year went from stranger to friend, telling stories about their life and lineage since their family had been kind of wild. The Losers could tell some of them were fake, but Y/n never insisted they were real and told them for the pure purpose or entertainment. If anyone ever asked or pushed it, they would immediately tell if the story was real or not. Y/n lied a lot less than the average person. Probably because they were terrible at it unless they were telling a story.

Sophomore year was when Y/n stopped making it about their life and turned stories simply into that- stories. Fantastical and amazing and full of magic or horror or drama. They were more entertaining than ever, and Bill often would write down an outline of each story, giving the notes to Y/n and insisting they should write it. Y/n would claim the the same thing: “You write it, Billiam. I couldn’t sit down and organized my chaotic thoughts on paper. I change it based on crowd reaction and there’s so many plot holes.. you’d do better.” So Bill would write them. And, in return, he gave Y/n paper copies of each of the short stories he’d strengthened based off of her idea. Y/n collected them in folders and when Summer came, they left pages for covers and made an amateur book- Short Stories by Bill Denbrough and Y/n L/n. Those stories were told again and again until the other Losers could recite them, but without fault Ben and Eddie would ask for another story during each long stretch of nothing or when they couldn’t sleep at sleepovers.

Junior year was for Richie and Y/n’s insane duo. With Eddie and Y/n’s joking around and brother/sister bond and Bill and Y/n’s bond over writing and how Ben and Mike could rant about anything and Y/n would listen with endless, genuine interest, it was amazing to see Y/n not only be creative, attentive, caring, and genuine, but also be able to keep up with Richie. Y/n laughed at his jokes, as earnest to listen to him as they listened to Mike or Eddie. The two kept the mood light, continuing their constant exchange of jokes and pick up lines. Between Bill’s creative mind and Richie’s unwavering ability to always have something to say, the two boys and Y/n became really close as Y/n tied inside jokes into quick stories, letting Richie jump in with voice impersonations and dorky comments and the most wacky, random suggestions to throw the story for an insane loop. Bill, as before, took notes and wrote the stories at home in his free time, and a new volume was made- “Crazy Stories by Trashmouth, Sunny, and Big Bill.” That’s what they called Y/n. Sunny, because of their cheery disposition and the way they brought a new sense of life and a simultaneously bright and also chill atmosphere. A safe sort of feeling that was so warm and comfortable and felt exactly like home.

When Richie and Bill realized they had feelings for each other, it was Y/n who got them together. And then they got Ben and Mike together too. The summer after junior year, Y/n sat back and smirked as they successfully paired up their friends and watched love bloom.

One day, Eddie plopped next to Y/n. “You’re good at that.” Y/n looked over with their arms crossed and a questioning eyebrow risen. “Match making. Getting people together.” He chuckled. “Think you could help me out?”

Y/n chuckled. “I’ll definitely keep my eye out, Eddie Spaghetti.” Y/n rarely called Eddie that other than in joking, lighthearted moments like these. They had picked it up from Richie. “You deserve to be happy.” They winked and Eddie nodded, agreeing silently.

Two weeks later, Y/n pointed out a guy sitting in the park with a book on his lap. “The one in the purple shirt?” Eddie asked doubtfully.

Y/n shot him a look. “Yes, Eddie. Trust me. He works in the pharmacy, in the back. Sorting things and restocking shelves. He’s super introverted so it might take a second, but you two are a match made in heaven. Swear it on my reputation.”

Like magic, a few months later Eddie ran to his friends a few days before senior year began, ranting about the fantastic date he’d had the night before with his boyfriend and the kids they had and on and on- only Y/n stuck around to listen, laughing and beaming. “YOU’RE MAGICAL!” Eddie ended dramatically.

“I told you!” Y/n insisted.

Eddie looked around at the Losers. Stan and Bill were talking as Richie played with Bill’s fingers. Mike and Ben, not one for super affection while with their friends, were sitting close together and listening to the conversation about what they expected senior year to be like and what they had planned after, every once in a while giving input.

Suddenly he turned to Y/n. “What about you?”

Y/n seemed confused. “What ABOUT me?”

“Oh come on Sunny,” Eddie prompted. Y/n’s nose scrunched up at the nickname. They knew that Y/n wasn’t ALWAYS happy. No one was. They knew that Y/n actually got into a lot of arguments with their parents and had to deal with being the less favorite child compared to their younger sister who was perfect and pretty and for some reason everything Y/n wasn’t to their parents. That’s why Y/n was so accepting and attentive and caring- because they didn’t want anyone to feel alone or less than as they had. But the nickname had stuck more in appreciation for how hard Y/n worked to be the best friend they could be despite it all.

Still, sometimes it bothered Y/n the same was ‘Eddie Spaghetti’ bothered Eddie. They still used the nicknames though.

Eddie rolled his eyes. “You have to like someone. Let me help set you up with someone!”

Y/n shrugged, suddenly not as into the conversation. Eddie was unsure what he’d said and why it had upset Y/n, but he promptly stopped talking. Y/n sighed, running a hand through their hair in habit. “There’s no one interested in me,” they settled.

Later, Eddie would talk about the odd interaction with Ben and the two would team up to figure out who Y/n liked, because Ben said that based on what they said, there WAS someone.

“Come ON, Y/n!” Eddie insisted.

Finally they broke. “Oh my gosh, it’s Stan!” Both boys stared at Y/n with shock. “I’ve tried everything I could think of, but no matter what I do every time I try and get especially close to him he just seems annoyed with me more than anything. Like how he’s annoyed with Richie but worse.” Ben and Eddie shared a startled look. That was bad. “I gave up. He won’t ever like me, I get it.” Their voice grew quiet. “But it won’t change that when he smiles my stomach twists and when he laughs my insides warm up. It doesn’t change that I wonder if his hair is as soft as it looks or think about holding his hand and marking him laugh or...” they shrugged, glaring into their lap. “It doesn’t matter. I can’t bring him to me and when I try to go to him, he gets annoyed.”

There was a pause before Ben scooted close to his friend, placing his hand on their shoulder. “We have one year left, and then we’re done with high school. You’ve been into him since freshman year?” Y/n nodded. “That’s three years, Y/n. Three years.” Eddie and Y/n both gulped, but Ben smiled. “You might be THE matchmaker, but I think you should go for it again. Try a different tactic. Don’t give up or stop trying. Stan deserves someone who’s as loyal and persistent as you. And you never know, maybe you’ll find a hole in that wall of his and make his life better just as we know you do for everyone.”

Smiling, Y/n thought about it for a second. A small smile grew on their face and they nodded. “Yeah. Sure.”

Ben and Eddie cheered, causing Y/n to laugh.

...but saying they would do it would be a easier than doing it. Succeeding would be even harder. But, Y/n was trying it seemed. Again.

Big sigh.

Today is not the day to jump out of a plane. I don't wanna parasail or play roulette. I don't wanna risk it all or go insane, but I don't wanna go home yet.

The couples in the Loser’s Club set up a group date as a last ditch hurrah before summer ended, leaving Stan and Y/n with nothing to do with their friends. Y/n took their chance, approaching Stan as the group broke up for the day. “Hey.”

Stan looked over and smiled a little, nodding. “Hello.” The small, slightly friendly, casual upturn of the corner of his lips was all Y/n could ever get from Stan and it was frustrating when the one person she wanted to see smile the most was all the only person they couldn’t get to really smile.

“So everyone’s going on that group date tomorrow,” Y/n began and Stan looked at then sideways, not wanting to partake in any such activities with his friend just because Y/n couldn’t be fine on their own. “Maybe we could hang out tomorrow? Not with the other Losers on the date, but just like... I don’t know, anything.”

Stan had planned to go birdwatching the next day so the idea of not going the one day he was sure absolutely no one would bother him was disappointing. But he was working on being more of a people person, so though hesitant, he managed a, “What did you have in mind?”

Y/n help hope rise inside of them. “We could go to a movie.”

Stan’s nose scrunched. “It’s supposed to be a really good day tomorrow, I don’t want to lock myself indoors for too long. Plus I’ve seen all the movies out that I’m interested in already.”

Touching their bottom lip, Y/n thought. “So then no arcade either.” Stan shook his head. “We could go to the Quarry,” they offered next.

That didn’t seem to please him either. “It’s not as fun without the whole gang,” he pointed out. And Y/n had to agree, he had a point.

“We could ride bikes. Like, race or just ride.” Even Y/n knew that was a weak idea. “Or go in a hike. Or have a picnic! Oh that would be so fun!”

A hike and picnic actually sounded like a great idea. Stan could see them walking, quietly their footsteps to see birds while walking, and then continuing to do so as they ate, making the smallest talk about buds and nature and other odds and ends things that popped into his head.

But even though he could see it, he knew it wasn’t realistic. No one was into bird watching- even the other Losers thought it was dorky. Richie teased him about it all the time. Y/n was too loud and impatient anyway and would probably scare all of the birds away. They’d want to tell stories or have long, constant conversation. Stan had always been annoyed with Y/n. The way they seemed to bond so easily with everyone but him. They were too loud and hyperactive- Stan was quiet. They could never get along like Y/n did with the others. For that reason alone Stan said, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.” He didn’t know why he had such a wanting to keep Y/n away but he did. So whatever. He had his birds anyway.

Y/n deflated, completely out of ideas. They walked in silence for quite some time. House passed. Y/n’s turn passed, but they continued with Stan, trying to come up with something. Anything. They made a promise to Eddie and Ben to do their best, so no matter what they would.

After a few more weak ideas passed through their mind, though, Y/n slowly realized that they had been right- Stan would never go for them. They couldn’t even get him to hang out!

The pair finally reached Stan’s house and Stan turned to Y/n, an eyebrow raised in annoyance. “You coming inside with me too?”

Y/n stared at Stan for a really long time, eyebrows pushed together and hands on their hip. Now THEY were the annoyed one and it took Stan off guard. Y/n’s eyes were actually really pretty and the simmering irritation and swirling thoughts made this intense look in their eyes that was dark and alluring. They were... kinda cute actually.

Stan hated when his brain did this. Notice things about Y/n. Notice how good looking and easy to get along with they were. He hated how he was secretly so drawn to Y/n. He’d become antisocial and with all his friends pairing up, his favorite past time was just to block out the whole world and look at birds and pretend he wasn’t himself. Just a drifting cloud, watching and observing and taking notes. It was freeing, the quiet. It let him relax and be himself. It had gotten to the point that anytime he was around people he just felt... on edge. Like he was irritated simply by other people’s presence. So he avoided people. There was a kind of content that he couldn’t enjoy with people around and he didn’t want to let that go.

Except Y/n kinda made him want to. Made him want to think of a different kind of life with the one person he was sure was the polar opposite of the person he needed in his life that way.

Nothing too dramatic. Going on dates. Holding hands. Mindlessly playing with fingers and hair like Bill or leaning their shoulders together as one of them read like Ben and Mike. Someone to make you smile and make memories to bring smiles and conjure for lonely moments. Someone to kiss, maybe, if that was as good as he secretly wondered it was. Someone to BE with. He knew he was expected to find someone, eventually, but... he had time right? And no way in the world could Y/n be that person anyway!

It was a mantra he’d been repeating to himself since the end of sophomore year when Y/n had leaned over and kissed Stan’s cheek to congratulate him for passing his final exam. The little bubbles and heartbeat trips had added up to a picture Stan didn’t like in that moment, blaring a truth he had settled to simply ignore until they all went away. Until Y/n went away. But the feelings and the person who caused them still stayed. And, in moments like these, it was hard to keep that truth buried as deep down as he usually had them. It was hard to not admit it even for a split second just to himself...

Y/n was really good looking. Funny, nice, positive, caring. Thoughtful. Gentle. They were dedicated and hard working and fun and their teasing was exactly what made him go. They way they flirted seemed to appeal just to him.

He... he...

“Stan?” Y/n called. Stan blinked, humming as he was knocked from this thoughts. He realized he was glaring more deeply than he had been before, frustrated with himself. Y/n was frowning, probably think he was glaring at whatever they had said. “I said, if you hate all of my ideas, what do you do for fun?”

Stan’s heart stopped dead in his chest. Birdwatching. Birdwatching is what he did for fun.

Fuck.

[thequeenofadream]

Painting a Picture of Perfection II (Brian May x Reader)

PART ONE | PART TWO

Summary: you, an up and coming artist, were in the park looking for some inspiration. you suddenly saw a curly haired guitarist and you were very much enlightened.

Words: 2,394

Notes: swearing? eating of chicken nuggets? fluffy fluff fluff awkwardnessess bc shy

A/N:  thanks for all the support on the first part, i hope you guy will enjoy this one! :) <3 

🖌 tagging: @obsessedwithrogertaylor @malekdarling @i-padfootblack-things @xxcxrolinexx @xtrashmammalstefx @everbodyplaythegame

~~~~~~~~~

Your paintbrush tapped against your cheek as the london skies grew dark. You were waiting for Brian to arrive and take you out, but you were also terribly worried it was about to rain. He hasn’t told you anything about where he was taking you, but you hoped it didn’t have to do with going outdoors.

It was quarter before six and he had told you, he’d pick you up at six. You underestimated your preparation time and ended up finishing earlier than expected. You decided to use the time to continue your painting of Brian. You had transferred the sketch you had made onto a canvas; it was resting against the easel you had next to a window.

You were thinking of what shade of red you should used for bri’s guitar when you heard a knock from the door. You quickly set down everything you had down on the window sill and removed the arpon you were wearing. Under your apron, you wore a blue off-shoulder dress that had a flowy skirt. It wasn't too formal, nor was it casual.

You set your apron down with the rest of your supplies and head for the door, excited to see Bri. You hadn't seen him since his gig at the pub, because of the both of you being busy with your respective courses. It was refreshing to his lovely face after a long week.

You opened the door to reveal the curly-haired guitarist; he wore a white button down and blue washed jeans. He was fiddling with his fingers when he looked up and saw you at the door. He was left breathless.

“Wow.”

It wasn't like he had never looked at you and thought you were a goddess, but this particular moment was special. This was the moment of your first date. You weren't just a girl in the far distance of a park. You were a girl he was about to take out on a date.

You could only blush in response; he could never cease to make you do so. During the short moments you had seen him during the week, it seemed like he always made it point to leave you red-faced.

“Thanks.” You spoke softly, in contrast to the chaos ensuing within you.

“Shall we?” He held out his arm, expecting you to take it. You looked at him confused, not knowing what to do. He noticed this and did his best to explain without blatantly saying ‘MY ARM IS YOURS.’

“Uh you can hold my arm.” He didn’t want to lose his blushing streak so he looked away as his cheeks turned red like his red special guitar. His effort however was useless, because you were an attentive observer. You thought that it was quite cute to see the colour flush through his cheeks. You giggled as you linked with him arm and you left your flat.

Fast forward to the his car and you swore brian had been driving for hours even though it had only been thirty minutes since you left your flat. It was silent between the both of you, but it wasn’t necessarily awkward. It was more nerve-wracking. You were both afraid to fuck up. What if one of you had reminded the other about an ex?

As if on cue, Brian broke the silence deciding to make some small talk.

“So how’s classes?”

You stopped fiddling with your fingers to finally look up at him. Honestly it was pretty boring, but you thought you’d update him on the project you were doing where he was the subject.

“Ah, not much. The painting of you is coming along quite nicely though.” You flashed a gentle smile, looking as radiant as ever. You continued to rave about how everything was coming along together and how you were experimenting with different methods and textures.

Brian was listening intently, but he couldn’t help but get lost in your eyes. He loved watching your face light up as you talked about what you were so passionate about. It was like watching a supernova, without all the mess and chaos of course. He was so caught up with you that he had almost forgotten he was driving until you reminded him.

“Uh, Bri.” You said pointing straight ahead. He quickly snapped out of it and looked straight ahead to see a red light. He stepped on the brake pedal and the car came to an abrupt stop.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry.” He said relieved as you both remained unharmed. His heart was about to leap out of his chest as he realized he could’ve gotten you two seriously hurt. You were slightly shaky as well, but you quickly brushed it off. It was the sort of funny seeing how you affected his funny.

“It's fine Bri.”

You laughed, as Brian sweat bullets, trying to figure out why. You quickly noticed this and put a hand on his shoulder assuring him it truly was fine. The light turned green and you both continued on your conversation with him properly dividing his attention between the road and you. To say the least it was quite a challenge.

The car came to a stop as you arrived at a modest cafe that didn't have too many customers. It had just the right amount of coziness that you desired. As you were both getting out of the car, Brian put a hand on your thigh before you could step out.

“Wait here.”

He stepped out and got something out of the trunk, before going to your side your side of the car and opening the door. He held it for you as you stepped out seeing a beautiful bouquet of flowers in his hands. It wasn't filled with purely roses, but it had daisies, tulips, camelia and so much more. It was an explosion of colours. He handed it to you and closed the door behind you, before speaking up.

“A colourful bouquet for a colourful soul.”

You buried your face in the bouquet taking in the smell of it all, while also hiding the growing redness spreading across your face. Brian chuckled, seeing you were happy with them. When you had finally calmed down, you looked back up, seeing him laughing at you. He was gorgeous. You didn't see what he saw in you. You wondered what about was so ‘colourful’ about you.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Never been more sure of anything else.”

You both started walking to the entrance of the cafe still pondering on why. You were very much tempted to ask. You walked in to the fresh smell of coffee and pastries. It may have been dinnertime, but the place reeked of breakfast. It was so domestic and homely, it was as if you had stepped into your own apartment.

You settled on table near a window that overlooked what you presumed was the owners tiny garden. As you sat down, Brian pushed the chair in for you and got into his own.

“You sure do keep chivalry alive.” You complimented him and saw him go red. You thought he was such a gentleman and shouldn't just go unnoticed.

“Well nothing less for queen like yourself.” He finally responded, gesturing to you in all you beauty.

“And shall you be my king?” You joked, pointing at him.

“I was thinking maybe prime minister.” He joked back, making you roll your eyes. Too could play that game.

“Oh then I guess I’ll have to go kiss Prince Charles.” You faked a sigh while resting your chin your palm, looking out the window.

A ping of jealousy hit Brian although it was very much impossible for that to actually happen. Brian quickly took your other hand and kissed it, making you look back at him.

“Just kidding, my queen. I’d love to be your king.”

You smiled to yourself, believing you had won.

A waitress then came over and handed you each a menu. As you were both looking, you couldn't help but watch him look frustrated, not knowing what to pick. It was quite the sight to watch.

“You look like you're about to pop a blood vessel.”

His snapped his head in your direction, realising that you had been watching the entire time. He raised an eyebrows, seeing your sassy side slowly revealing itself.

“You clearly haven't seen me during band practice then.” He remembered the night when Roger and Fred had fought over some maracas Fred had thrown into the crowd during the show the night before.

“You'll have to invite me sometime then.”

You raised your hand calling over the waitress. She placed two cups of water down and took out a notepad. You gave her your order while Brian did the same. You had just ordered some soup and chicken nuggets. Brian had opted for some fries and a salad. She left, giving you two some privacy and You decided it was the perfect time to get to know him better since you felt like you only ever talked about yourself.

“So, Bri. Why space?” You asked, genuinely intrigued by his passion on the subject.

“Well, the stars are all we ever see at night and we don't know a single thing about them. Thought I'd get to know them better. They did brighten up my night after all.” He eyed you the entire time, smirking at the end of it all.

“very smooth, may.” You couldn't help but giggle at how much of a dork he was, just like you in a sense.

“But in all seriousness. I do love it, the cosmos, the galaxies. They're all such wonderful works of the universe and I want to understand them.” He said seriously, with a sparkle his eyes.

“Oh that's wonderful! I sorta feel the same way about art. They're sort of like galaxies painted by us and every single one has a story waiting to be told, waiting to be understood.”

“It's nice to see the meaning in things isn't it?”

“You bet.”

When your food arrived, you continued conversing, getting completely lost in the topics you'd dive into whether it be about uni, mutual friend or whatever tea you had to spill.

“Yeah, so long story short I accidentally spilled scalding tea on my ex, causing him to go to the hospital.” You felt bad, remembering your clumsiness.

“Oh my god! Is he okay?” Brian tried to hold in a laugh as you told your story.

“Of course!” You let you a chuckle, seeing his expression.

“That wasn't why you break up, was it?” He continued, feeling very curious about your tale.

“Nope, I found out he was gay.”

“Oh.”

“But it's fine, we're great friends now!” You continued lightening up the mood. He smiled, seeing how the situation wasn't one with a sad ending.

You had both finished your meals and were getting ready to leave. You had insisted to split the bill in half, despite Brian's wishes. You left the cafe together, hand in hand. You leaned against his shoulder until you reached the car. You were tired, but happy tired. You both had a fun date and was more than satisfied with how it went. You were smitten.

Once you both got into the car, he started the car and had one hand one the steering wheel while the other one held your hand. He noticed that you were looking quite groggy so he told you how to adjust the seat so you you take a rest.

On the way to your complex, he would take quick glances, watching you sleep. You were so peaceful and happy, he wished he could make you feel that way. He wished maybe someday he could be your safe place.

By the time you got the apartment, you were still asleep so he did his very best to wake you up gently. He shook you softly, and you woke slowly, taking time to adjust.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry.” You started apologising profusely, but Brian just interrupted assuring you it was fine.

“It’s fine, (Y/N). I’m pretty tired as well. Do you want me to walk you up though?” He said letting out a yawn.

“It’s fine, you should probably get home quick. It seems like it’s going to be a rainy night.”

“Oh yeah, you’re right.”

An awkward silence then ensued and none of you didn’t really know what to do next. Your heart was pounding against your ribcage and it seemed like the perfect time to steal a kiss, but was it?

Your eyes sparkled in the dark, like a shining star in the dark. Brian put his hand against your cheek, stroking it softly, not really knowing what else to do. It just seemed like an instinct. His palm felt warm against your cheek, and it warmed your heart.

“Uh Bri? Is it fine if I-” You trailed off not really knowing how to say it, so you just did it.

Your lips hovered above his, before meeting his. It was as if fireworks had gone off. There was so much emotions and thoughts pumping through your mind. You couldn’t do anything but sink into his lips. When you moved away, you felt like you had to stay sorry for the sudden exchange as you didn’t think he even reacted.

“Oh my go- wait i’m sorry i just-”

He interrupted you, pressing his lips against yours. You were surprised, but returned his kiss almost right away. You both stayed like that for a few moments more before pulling away, gasping for air.

“wait you like me too?” You suddenly realised in disbelief. With everything that had happened today, it was amusing to see that you still couldn’t take the hint. Brian just nodded in response, trying not to laugh at your response.

“Of course, love.”

“And I like you too!” You said still putting the dots together. “What does this mean?” You asked not understanding what was happening.

“I mean we could go on a second date?” Bri suggested, chuckling at your startled state.

“Yes? I mean yes!” You said, feeling like you you were stuck in a haze. You weren’t entirely sure if the world was spinning or it was you.

Everything seemed like a dream

And it was only going to continue like that.

~~~~~~~~~

[sixcastappreciation]

sixcago gave me my gay rights

alternative title: review of the evening sixcago show on july third

this is like almost 4k and its mostly just rambling but i need to express how much i love sixcago

like at least half of this is just me being gay so i bolded some of the things that i found really interesting and isnt just me like, freaking out

so to start off: holy shit. the energy of the entire show was amazing, it was really funny and fun and the acting/dancing/singing was on point like i cant think of a single complaint on the part of any of them.

so to get into the actual show

ex wives

when the curtain came up and the smoke started pouring out i actually felt my soul leave my body it was such a good moment

less than thirty seconds in brittney mack made eye contact with me and i swear to god my heart stopped and i honestly had trouble focusing on the rest of the song

i am not exaggerating that is the whole truth and nothing but the truth

shes............. literally so good im still shaking as i write this like three hours later

the third repetition of the rhyme where they all sound kinda pissed off? they nailed that

adrianna was so cute when she said “you wont try that again”

andrea holy shit. thats really a wrap on that

abby got that like, kinda head in the clouds thing that i feel like is janes Brand during this part

when he saw my portrait he was like JaaAAaaa

i love brittney mack

courtney knew what she was doing with that prick line. get it girl

anna has the most angelic voice i swear to god

the six of them work really well together on stage???? like i know its all choreo and stuff but you could Feel the energy that they had together it was good

oh man the choreo for the end. im so gay

intro thingy:

adrianna with that riff!!!!! we stan

annas face after “herstory” was iconic. she knew what she had done wrong

you couldnt hear the intro for maggie bc people were cheering so loud

the way adrianna says maria made me gay

abby also knows what she had to say. she knows how cursed janes sense of humor is and she was really playing it up

protestent............ protestant

“we’ll tell you what you want what you really really want” this made me laugh so hard i dont rly remember the next like thirty seconds because i was dying

“the biggest.... the firmest......... the fullest..............” im. i cant

no way

“maria” AGAIN adrianna please. please i cant handle it

“OH muy bien aHHah” not to be Lesbian On Main but fuck this was so cute

her emotion during the monologue was SO funny

it was peak, it was so good

she really gets it. i dont totally know what it is but this aragon monologue gets it

when she said “really trying” she did like, a motion. i cant go into more detail but Fuck

so after “move me into a convent” everyone like, gathered around aragon and adrianna did a

well idk what youd call it but a like

her entire torso swung around in a huge circle right before “i dont think i’d look that good in a wimple”

and idk what it was but that part just made me Lose It

adrianna had this way of making it all a little funnier?

like catherine is usually pretty Serious, i think but it felt like adrianna knew she was playing a character who was Like That, if you will, and was kinda leaning into breaking the fourth wall a little

i can probably elaborate if that doesnt make sense

you say its a pity cos quoting leviticus ill end up kiddiless all my life

she said that with such conviction goddamn

oh, he doesnt remember

this was so good

the “sh-”s were really funny

the fucking. i dont know what it is but the *ting*

holy shit

i cant put into words

how much i loved that part

the pause after “i’ll go” was............ expansive

i just checked it was 10 whole seconds

that doesnt sound long but it felt like forever

she went high on “end of my life” and thank u for mine adrianna hicks

the amount of no’s was impressive and im heart eyes for it

adrianna just had really good stage presence

like i caught myself looking at her during the dance breaks of all the songs when i wasnt looking at brittney

it was just so fun to watch her go!

dluh

during the intro of like “yeah, you know, the really important one” andrea was doing some Dumb Shit in the background

like i dont know exactly what it was but she was just like

idk like noodling around in the back

and i caught her eye and she like, smiled a little

the gasps the rest of them did were....... cute

then andrea busted out a full on fucking witches cackle

then she stuck her tongue out and looked like she was taking a selfie and it was so cute

like, her tongue was OUT

“not my thing” had the BIGGEST uwu energy of anything ive ever heard

i thought people were kidding when they said andrea boleyn had uwu energy

they were not

pret a manger barely came across as a real line it was more like, an experience

the sorry not sorry choreo. its so funny and cute and simultaneously cursed

the way andrea delivered her lines here was just

it was like, cutesy and fun but also kind of cursed

uwu

when she said “are you blind” andrea like, gestured to herself, in a like “look how hot i am” kinda way

which might be the standard? either way it made me laugh a lot

don’t be bitter/cos im fitter was the only line in the entire production said with a british accent and it fucking slayed me on sight one hit ko

i actually like that they changed “mate, what was i meant to do” to “wait, what was i meant to do” because

it implies that anne had no other train of thought than the one she was on and thats very funny to me

i think it fits w andreas portrayal too

everyone was like, fake crying when anne fake walked down the aisle and it was really funny imo

and as soon as she got to the end anne like, turned, yk?

bro just shut up

the entire audience gasped after that

andrea had actual like, panic on her face

then she led into “i guess he just really liked my head”

and there was a beat after that, where everyone laughed

it was long enough that everyone got the joke

then she mimed the blow job

her riff on “hell”? iconic

“wait, didnt you actually die” no jane she was beheaded but she was fine

abby seymour said dumbass rights she has the Dumbest Bitch energy god

“catherine of aragon had tragically died” catch adrianna looking like, yeah it was so sad for me, how terrible, right?

then boleyn goes off

the. fury, passion, anger, zest, contained in andreas “MASSIVE-”

“over my dead body” andrea gave her this look like, youre damn right it will be

heart of stone

oof

okay so the monologue

oof

“i was lucky. okay, i was really lucky” o o f

“edwina” is still cursed tho

i dont know what it was about this. i dont know if it was abby, or the dialogue, or just it being live but

this made it clear that jane had been Through It

like, this monologue came across (to me at least) as unquestionably a “woman who was abused trying to justify it to herself” kind of situation

“and that’s not because i was scared,” she said, wearing an absolutely terrified expression

this is where she started tearing up i think

okay i gotta take a moment here because

abby was fully crying before the song even started

like somewhere about halfway through her monologue she started tearing up

i was looking for it specifically

i wrote this before the last part so see above

so by the first fucking like of hos you could hear her voice breaking

holy shit ms meuller what the fuck

im not kidding who gave her the right

at the stagedoor she said that after this she was like, “well thats it for my makeup” when someone complimented her song

she is crying. the first chorus and she is actively crying. in the breaks between her lyrics you can hear her crying

abby went high on a couple of notes in here

she riffed on “truthfully” and it was, wow

she didnt go for the whistle tones which was, honestly? the most relatable thing in this entire show

but a couple of the other notes she went high on and they were so killer

there was a second or two of pause after the end where everyone just, absorbed things before the applause

i have some questions for abby about this actually because i dont know if its just because the monologue was different than im used to but

i just want to know if abby meant to have everything come off like That but god

the mental gymnastics jane is doing here are so intense

this performance genuinely changed how i listen to hos forever

i dont think i can ever peacefully listen to this song again

this song gave me so many layered emotions thank u abby mueller

haus of holbein

hans................................. *holbein*

the chaos

i honestly barely remember most of it it was

i had no idea who to be looking at

but i remember it being beautiful

i dont have the words to express how

fucking funny it was

the accents were hilarious

like they werent great german accents, but that made it far better

they were leaning into the ridiculousness of it all

the way abby said “but we cannot guarantee that you’ll still walk at forty” had me on the ground

ive spent the last 24 hrs trying to figure out exactly why it was so funny and i think i got it

she dropped the german accent

and she straight up sounded like she was reading off the side effects of a pharmaceutical ad on tv

the freeze frame? legendary

anna and courtney (im pretty sure?) managed to look so genuinely offended that henry swiped left on them

your highness your highness your highness

god adrianna please

actually every h sound that came out of their mouths

but adrianna Got It

get down

oh god i gotta talk about “didnt live up to his expectations”

brittney like, half took off her jacket and gestured to her body and like, body rolled a bit and honestly? i was fucking dead

the sarcasm really jumped out here. brittney went off in the best way possible

she was fully fake sobbing right before “tragic”

fucking legend

brING me some pheasant!

the woof line is always a good moment but their facial expressions really made it work here

this song has the most outwardly complex choreo (ofc i cant speak to its actual difficulty) and every single one of them crushed it

brittney made eye contact w me again on “looking cute” and im deceased

oh god after “take my fur” she whispered “thank you. honestly” and gestured to herself again and like, i was dying

iirc brittney was like, skipping across the stage or something on “i look more rad” and snapped into position for “lutheranism”

we gotta take a moment to appreciate the operatic talent of that one “get down you dirty rascal” instead of the slo mo

like, ofc the slo mo is a good moment but

brittney went full opera and it was,

wow

shes got a voice on her holy shit

so much talent in such a tiny body

aCHYEAH

she picked the person sitting next to me to dance w her and

they did their cute little dance thing and then brittney gestured like, go sit down, and the person did, then stood back up and started dancing again

not like, in a bad way i dont think

it was super fuckin funny and after the song brittney was like “oh that was cute you think youre funny”

but i heard them talking at the stagedoor and like, brittney was chill it wasnt like a violation of anything

im not explaining it very well but it was really funny in person

everything about her on stage was just, so enrapturing

i dont have too many specific notes about this song because it would probably turn into just, me being gay, which is enough of this already

anyway! get down was good brittney mack is a stellar cleves

her fake crying is next level tho

the confrontation

boleyn, unprompted: i lost my head!

the beheaded cousins high fived after “nice neck” and like, stuck out their necks a bit it was so funny

seymours “i died”

we all know abby is gonna kill her line delivery

but GOD

and then after, she like, realized what she had said and struck a pose like, shit please still think im regal

the line itself was actually pretty, uhhhh, sad

theres something about boleyn roasting khoward in andreas voice

courtney with that “and your songs” had perfect timing

also “when will justice be SERVED” had such good punch to it

after she did that she like

rubbed her hand on janes face

and abby looked SO offended

theres something so, sincere about courtneys delivery of her roasts that i hadnt been getting and its SO much funnier to me

i forget exactly where but at some point boleyn aragon and howard were arguing

and in the background it really looked like seymour and cleves were having a normal conversation and i lost it like. they were just chattin

there were a couple moments of like, cleves and seymour interacting and it was interesting

aywd

courtney! mack! took! no! prisoners!

jesus christ

okay so i dont know if other howards do this or if it was just because i was seeing it live and up close and that made the difference but

for me the most compelling part of this howard was the fear

like yes there was the sadness/anger/etc like there was good emotion but

from the “he says we have a connection” re: henry, and then on, everything about courtneys body language just screamed that she was afraid

idk i might expand on this in a separate post because its a darker topic but yeah. holy shit that was emotional

not a single person clapped after the last line. they all waited until after “yeah, and then i was beheaded” before clapping

like the theater was dead silent. DEAD silent

it was like, so haunting because it was just courtney on stage at that point, with just the white spotlight on her, it was a Moment

im not sure i have the heart right now to get too deep into this

if it would be particularly interesting to anyone feel free to ask, im happy to get more into it but idk its just Emotional

actually this is already so long ima go for it

so on each “we have a connection” it was uhhhh parr and aragon (i think) who each put a hand on like, her clavicle

and for the first two verses she grabbed one of the hands and was like, flirty? ig

but on the one about henry seymour also put a hand around her waist and she like

she freaked out

and listening back to the audio i can

unpopular opinion perhaps but the actual emotion of her on stage didnt come thru in the audio

because it was so physical

like you could see how scared she was

which made it more relateable to me honestly

like she looked so so scared

it was heartbreaking

the confrontation part ii

oh BOOH OO MISTERESSES

“okay catherine, babes” is CUTE fight me

anna looked like, progressively more concerned as that beat went on, and then she just kinda like, deflated? it was really funny tbh

idk her parr feels Different than the parr im used to

during “oh im catherine parr i draw the line in arbitrary places” courtney was playing with her hair it was hashtag cute

BACKING VOCALS RIP CATHY PARR

idnyl

a cute little b flat major 7

yeah anna parr seems

hmm

she seems like she’s just, over henry

like from the start she just has no time for him

idk im Conceptualizing

anna uzele is

her voice is next level

she put survived in the “got married to the king became the one who survived” in air quotes which i think is an interesting note

anna got really physically into the “remember that...” bit of it and everyone in the back was also having a good time with it it was Good

andrea. she stuck her pointer finger between two of her other fingers on her other hand for the “my sixth finger” line and it was SO funny

khoward keeping aragon in line was

not the hot take i was expecting but nevertheless the one we deserved

both for “dissolution of the monasteries” and “well actually”

idk it was a cute character moment

one of *unsure, disgusted, vaguely annoyed* siiiIIIiix

abby was right in front of me and she looked SO uncomf

yeah, i read

iconique

andrea like, threw her head back for this line

the pause after “theres not much we can do about it now” is

painfully long and so so so funny

i was only really looking at brittney but she was like, arms down head up no body language it was SO funny

also her “yeah?” ended my life

she raised the mic up to her mouth while not moving an inch of the rest of her body

the part where they get all meta. has me dead

it was about halfway through this second part that i realized cleves had her coat back. i dont know when that happened. if anyone else knows when exactly anna of cleves gets her coat back after it gets taken off in get down please tell me. i genuinely want to know

this actually distracted me

i got vibes that they genuinely hated henry during this part

first off, mood

secondly, good

annas riffing. god.

she is so talented

dsfjksdf they all straight up left

six

the opening moment is really sweet and kinda funny

abby again killing it with janes cursed lines

courtney howard is actually so cute

when shes not being heartbreakingly sad that is

like her “bye!” was so cute

theyre all so supportive of each other its very cute

megasix

adrianna and abby both looked into my camera and like, i died

at the end anna and brittney were doing some dumb shit as they walked off stage and it was SO cute

after the show

i went to the stagedoor and it was a really fun experience! ive never done that before

it seemed like everyone was being pretty respectful and stuff, thank u six fans for being sane

i got four signatures on my program dklfjsldfjds

abby was such a sweetheart, we actually talked a tiny bit

i told her i loved her line delivery (because uhhhhhh i do) and she said that she tries to get in that comedic timing when she has Those Lines and like yeah

she was seriously the nicest

the ladies in waiting came out as well and everyone cheered for them and lets be real they DESERVE it

lemme sidebar here actually and talk about the ladies in waiting because

they killed it

bessie on the bass was living her best life at literally all times

brittney was also super sweet! i told her she had good energy (because uhhhhhh she does) and she was very nice about it!!!

i didnt really talk to anna or andrea but i got their signatures!

also speaking of my program im still losing my mind over “remembered for: headlessness” and “remembered for: staying alive”

thank u sixcago program

in conclusion! this was such a great+special experience!!! all of the actors were incredible, it was so wonderful

im also not claiming any of this stuff was unique to this performance or to sixcago in general this was just the stuff i noticed as i was watching it. if you clown on this post ill end u

[isntthisenoughwhatwouldbeenough]

I Love You More (John Laurens x Reader)

A/N: Happy New Year My Lovely Wonderfuls! I hope you all had a fun night, and a nice introduction into 2018. Here’s another request, I hope you enjoy! I really liked how this came out and i hope you do to! Thank you to the Anon who requested this, i enjoyed writing it!

Request: John x reader where you buy him a turtle for his birthday bc he’s always wanted one, and then he starts giving it all his time and attention and you get jealous of it.

 For as long as you’d known John you knew he wanted a turtle. In fact, your first date ended up at a pet shop where he mooned over the small creatures and gave you little facts about them. You found it charming and endearing, and still did two years later. You loved how his face lit up every time he saw one, and that’s what led you to the little pet store down the street to pick out the perfect little turtle for your boyfriend.

You had looked at each one intently, asked questions about each of them, and watched how they interacted with each other before asking to see one. You held him in your hand, he was so tiny your heart instantly cooed over him. His shell was a forest green with streaks of yellow throughout, and as if on cue, his little head turned to look at you. His eyes slowly blinking and a small smile seeming to appear on his tiny face. How fitting, you think as you gently pet him.

“I’ll take him,” you turn to the owner with a smile.

You arrive, setting up your little surprise for John. You had the boys take him out so that you would have enough time to get everything done. You set up the tank, making sure he was comfortable, as you received a text. Alex said they were on their way up.

“Get ready to meet the greatest person ever, little guy,” you smile down at the creature as you cover him up.

You stand in front of your surprise, as the boys walk in. John lights up as soon as he sees you. He runs straight to you wrapping you up in his arms and placing soft kisses on your neck. Truthfully, he had been somewhat bummed this morning when you had pushed him out of the house after breakfast. He had wanted to spend the day with you entirely and he was sad he hadn’t gotten his way.

“Now, do I get to spend time with you,” he whispers to you, his forehead resting against yours.

You smile softly and kiss him tenderly, your arms around his neck as you play with his hair.

“Yes,” you kiss his nose, “but, I have a surprise for you first.”

“Baby girl, I think we’ll have to send our guests home before we do that,” he wiggles his eyebrows and pulls you close.

You lightly slap his shoulder and shake your head, though a small smile stays on your lips as you admonish him.

“Not that!” You roll your eyes as he laughs. “I wanted to show you,” you step out his arms and lift the sheet you had over his birthday surprise, “this!”

You smile brightly at him as his eyes grow huge and his own smile grows impossibly huge.

“IS THAT?!”

He looks back and forth between you and that tank at a loss for words. You nod your head.

“Its your very own turtle!”

He takes you in his arms again, spinning you around and placing kisses all over your face, while you giggled. He places you down and goes over to the tank, taking out his new pet.

“What’s his name?”

“That’s for you to decide, love,” you smile as you hug his shoulders. “Anything you want.”

He looks at him thoughtfully for a few moments before his face broke out into a grin.

“Thaddeus,” he smiles brightly at you and his friends, who nod in approval.

“Thaddeus,” Alex nods, “suits him.”

“Oui, good choice, mon ami.”

“Thaddeus the turtle,” Herc smiles placing a hand on Johns shoulder. “Has a nice ring to it.”

John looks to you, for your seal approval. You smile lovingly, gently petting the his shell.

“Thaddeus, it’s perfect.”

John smiles proudly at all of you before his attention was focused on the small creature. The rest of the day went well, John had a dinner and cake surrounded by friends and his new turtle. It warmed your heart to see him so genuinely happy. That night John had showered with kisses for your gift and you couldn’t be happier.

A month and a half passes and the night of Johns birthday was the last time he had shown you any real affection. The past six weeks had been filled with halfhearted hugs and quick kisses, while all his attention was focused on Thaddeus. The jealousy you felt growing in your gut every time he mooned over the small creature made you feel ridiculous and guilty all at once. How could you be jealous of something that made John so happy?

Instead of potentially making John feel bad for being so happy about something you got him. Something he had wanted for so long, you swallowed all those feelings. I mean you just had to wait it out right?

You sigh as you get ready for your girls night out. The Schuylers had decided to take you out after seeing that you were down. Although, after telling them what has going on, you had to keep Angie from yelling at John for you. Instead, they decided they would keep you out all night. If he wasn’t going to pay attention to you, you didn’t need to pay any to him.

You fix your hair, before heading to your closet to choose what to wear. You frown slightly as you look at your choices. You brighten slightly when you reach your selection of dresses. There was one dress in particular that you had your eye on, you had only worn it a few times, but it always got attention. It was low-cut and hugged you in all the right places. You smile as you take it out and put it on. If this didn’t get his attention, you didn’t know what else to do.

You walk out of the room to see all the boys hanging out in the living room. Alex is the first to notice you, giving a low whistle when he sees you.

“Lookin’ good, (Y/N),” he gives you a wink as you blush.

“Mon Dieu, you look magnifique, mon ami,” Gilbert says with a slight gulp.

“Very nice,” Hercules smiles with a slow nod.

“Thank you,” you smile bashfully, glancing at John to see his reaction.

He could get quite jealous, but he was consumed with Thaddeus, carefully taking him out his tank. You frown and give a disappointed sigh. The boys notice and can’t believe that John didn’t even look up at you. You turn back to them with fake smile, that they all saw through, the hurt evident in your eyes.

“What are you guys planning on doing tonight?”

“Just hanging here,” Alex shrugs his shoulders, “we probably won’t be having as much fun as you ladies.”

“That’s for damn sure,” Angelica steps out from the kitchen, giving John a slight glare.

“And what will you lovely ladies be doing tonight?” Herc smiles at her, his eyebrows raised.

“Lots of dancing and lots of drinking,” she winks over at you. “Come on, girls let’s head out.” She walks over to the doorway as you make your way to John to say goodbye.

“I’ll see you later, babe,” you place a kiss on his cheek.

He barely turns to blow you a kiss, mumbling a soft ‘bye’. You sigh again, following your friends out the door as they glared at John. The boys stood there in shock.

“Thaddeus did the funniest thing the other day,” John turns to them after placing his turtle safely in the cage, “I gave him a raspberry for the first time and the way he ate was too cute.”

“Hey John, buddy, did you notice what (Y/N) was wearing just now?” Alex takes a sip of his drink. “She looked really good.” He glances over at John, he always got riled up when any of the guys flirted with you.

“She always looks good,” he says quickly, looking at his phone. “Here I took a video of it.”

“You know that dress made her look sexier than usual,” Herc pipes up. “I mean if I were a guy out tonight and saw her, I wouldn’t hesitate to go after her.”

“What?” he finally looks up at Herc.

“Oui, in that dress,” Gil whistles, “I would try to get her to come home with me.”

“In what dress,” John asks, growing frustrated with his friends comments. “What the hell are you guys talking about?”

“Your girlfriend looking hot as hell, and how we wouldn’t mind if she were our girlfriend for one night,” Alex shrugged nonchalantly, taking a sip of his beer.

“Yeah, well keep dreaming, assholes, that’s my girl, quit talking about her like that.”

“Is she though?” Herc asks, sipping his beer and giving John a questioning look.

“What?”

“Is she your girl,” He raises his eyebrows, “because you hardly glanced at her and she didn’t look too happy.”

John looks down guiltily, thinking over that past weeks and trying  to figure out how terrible he’d been.

“Mon ami,” Laf places a hand on his shoulder, “she seemed very sad.” He frowned as John looked up at him. “Have you paid her any attention lately?”

“I mean,” he pauses, trying to think, “some, but not really.” He sighs in defeat as he slumped on the couch. “I’m such a shit!”

“Look,” Alex sits next to him, patting his shoulder, “it’s not like she’s going to leave you.”

“She should!” John exclaims, covering his face with his hands.

“Nah,” Herc slaps his leg, “she loves you too much, you just gotta do some damage control.”

“Do you know where they were going?”

They all shake their heads.

“Sorry, mon ami, they didn’t say.”

“And by the looks the girls were giving you as they left, I doubt they’ll tell you if you try to call,” Alex gives him a sympathetic smile.

“Even if I call (Y/N)?”

“Knowing Angie, she probably took her phone away as soon as they left,” Herc lightly chuckles with a shake of his head, and he was right. She confiscated it as soon as you stepped outside.

“What do I do then?”

“Wait for your girl to come home, and apologize,” Alex hands him a beer and wraps an arm over his shoulders. “She’ll forgive you, don’t worry.”

“Oui, just remember your turtle can’t love you like she can,” Laf tips his beer at John with a small smile.

The girls weren’t kidding when they said they would keep out all night. They gave you drink after drink, shot after shot, and dragged you out on to the dance floor. It was around four in the morning when they finally returned you home, sufficiently drunk. You fumbled with your keys as the girls giggled at you. Eliza gently takes the keys from your hands and opens the door.

“I still think we should have taken her back to our place,” Angie slightly huffs.

“She wanted to come home,” Eliza chides her sister, “and we can come check on her later, to make sure she’s okay.”

“You mean in case John is too busy with his pet to notice if she’s even home,” Peggy scoffs, as she helps you inside with Angelica, while Eliza holds the door and your purse.

“Guys, guys, guuyysss,” you whisper loudly, “we haf to b-be quiet, Johns proly asleeep.”

“Don’t worry sweetie, we’ll be quiet,” Eliza soothes you with a light chuckle.

“You don’t have to be,” John walks out from the hallway. The girls lightly gasp as he makes his presence known.

“Jackie!” You exclaim, throwing your arms up in excitement, before quickly covering your mouth and shushing yourself.

“Hey baby girl,” he walks over to you, smiling gently at your drunken state. “How much did she drink?”

“A lot,” Eliza grimaced.

“Mmhmm,” you nod, “a whole awflul lot, Jackie poo.” You wave your arms out wide to emphasize your statement and nearly trip, but John is quick to catch you. “Jackie! You catched me!”

“Yeah I did, baby girl, I always will,” he looks down at you lovingly and brushes some hair out of your face.

“I assume, you’ve got this covered?” Angie asks, her eyebrow quirked.

“I got this,” he nods. “Thanks guys.”

“No problem, just take care of our girl,” Peggy points at him, before following Angie out.

Eliza lightly pats his shoulder with a small smile, before following her sisters. You touch his cheek, bringing his attention back to you.

“Hey love,” he smiles gently.

“I miss you so much Jackie,” you whisper tears forming in your eyes.

“I’m right here, baby,” he tries to soothe you, rubbing small circles on your back. You shake your head.

“No, not really, you just love Tha-Thaddeus so much, and I can’t tell you I miss you without makin you feel bad,” tears roll down your face and he wants to kick himself for making you feel so sad.

“You should, baby girl, I’m an ass,” he kisses your forehead. “I deserve to feel bad.”

“No,” you shake your head again, “not my Jack,” you caress his cheek. “You’re wonderful.”

Its his turn to shake his head, he kisses your wrist and then your palm, before pulling you close and lifting you in his arms. He carries you to the room as you snuggle into his chest. You make a small protest when he places you on the bed, but a kiss to your nose soothes you quickly. Once he changes you and makes you drink some water, he puts you under the covers and lays next to you. You immediately snuggle up to him and he wraps his arms around you tightly and smiles at your sigh of content.

“I love you, Jackie,” you mumble into his chest.

He pulls back to look at you, you’re barley holding your eyes open.

“I love you so,” he kisses your forehead, “so,” your nose, “so,” one cheek, “so,” then the other, “so,” your lips, “much.” You smile sleepily, as he pulls you close once more. “I love you so much,” their the last words you hear as you drift off to sleep.

You wake up the next morning, squinting at the light in the room. You can smell something really good though, food. You rub your head as you try to muster the strength to sit up.

“Hey there, beautiful,” you open your eyes to see John with a tray of food in his hands, complete with a flower in small vase.

“John?”

Were you still that drunk that you were seeing things?

“Yeah, baby girl,” he comes to your side, setting the tray down before helping you sit up. He makes sure you’re comfortable, before fixing the tray over your lap. “We’ve got the works here for you lover girl,” he smiles at you. “Pancakes, scrambled eggs, bacon and sausage, toast with strawberry jam, and oj and coffee.” He brushes some hair behind your ear and kisses your forehead.

“Am I dreaming?” You ask, while John chuckles sadly at your confusion.

“No, your boyfriend just decided to stop being a shit,” he caresses your cheek and the sadness and guilt you see in his eyes breaks your heart.

“Hey,” you kiss his wrist gently, “my boyfriend is not a shit.” You reach up to touch his cheek. “He’s wonderful.”

He shakes his head at you, a frown still on his face.

“I’ve been a real shit, and I’m really sorry, baby girl.”

“Its o”-

“Don’t say it’s ok because it isn’t, love.” He takes your hands in his, kissing each one, before looking back up at you. “I haven’t been giving you all the love and attention you deserve.” You look down, not wanting him to feel bad, but knowing the statement was true. “I love Thaddeus, he’s awesome and the reason I have him is because I have the best girlfriend ever.” A small smile appears on your lips at his comment. “But,” he pauses lifting your chin to look at him, “I love you so much more.” Tears starts to form in your eyes. “You’re everything, baby girl, you’re the most amazing person I have ever met, and I know I can’t live without you. You make me so unbelievably happy, I’m so lucky that you’re my girl.” He wipes at the tears falling down your cheeks, smiling lovingly. “I know I got carried away, but I promise I’ll never make you feel that way again. I love you.”

You move the tray off your lap and nearly tackle him in your arms. He wraps his arms around your waist and holds you tight, kissing anywhere his lips can reach. Your lips meet in a passionate and loving kiss, both of you pouring your love for each other into that kiss. You pull away breathless and smiling.

“I love you,” you whisper together, foreheads pressed together.

“Love?”

“Yeah?”

“Please only wear that dress for me, from now on, please?”

“Sure, why?” You smile, amused.

“The guys were killing me with comments about being with after seeing you in that dress and you’re my baby girl!” He exclaims, cheeks heating up in his distress. You giggle.

“Yes I am, my love,” you peck his lips and rub your nose against his. “I’m all yours.”

[fandomfan315]

One time I was told by a kid that when I smiled for pictures, my smile looked fake. I mean, it was fake at the time of course, bc who genuinely smiles for pictures that for some reason take like a minute to get over with?? Nobody, that's who.

Anyways that comment was made about two years ago.

Here is what the effects have been:

I now look in the mirror and actually practice smiling.

I now don't smile for long even if I know it's an genuine smile, bc I'm afraid that ppl will think I'm not happy and feel bad.

I sometimes don't even smile. And that makes me even more self conscious bc I feel like I look weird when suppressing a smile.

I hate my smile. I really, really hate it.

I hate pictures and selfies of me, and take like 5 of them just to choose the least terrible one.

It doesn't matter, I end up deleting all the pics anyways

I say "lol" instead of laughing, because now I'm afraid that my laugh is weird.

So now I hate my smile and my laugh. Hoorah.

But it doesn't end there.

If my laugh is weird, what about my body posture? Is that socially acceptable?

What about if I stand too close to someone, what if they think I'm weird when in reality I'm just. Standing?? What if I say something weird, and my friends get offended? My friends can be... opinionated, but they wouldn't shut down my ideas... would they...?

All this keeps going until I finally ask myself "what features do you love abt urself", and the only thing I can say I truly love about myself are my eyes/eyelashes, because that's the only feature about myself that's never been commented negatively on in any way shape or form.

TL;DR:

Don't comment on people's looks at all. Just... Don't. Don't even tease about it. It hurts and the effects last a long, long time. Longer than you think.

things you don’t point out about people:

acne

cuts

Scars

body hair in places you’re not used to it being???

fat rolls/curves

how much/how little they’re eating

how skinny they are/what bones they can see because of how skinny they are

How fat they are.

If they have crooked or misaligned teeth maybe even yellowed

If they sweat a lot

don’t do it

don’t

[yeont4n]

Answer all!!

here we fuckn goooooooooo

we are bulletproof: if you could be any superhero, who would you be and why?

u kno that 1 girl from sky high whose only power was shapeshifting into a hamster? her. no reason

no more dream: if you woke up tomorrow to be incredibly famous, how would you react?

id go check my mailbox to collect all my free promotional gifts and then prolly fake my own death

i like it: if you could reverse any moment in your life, what would that moment be? 

there’s 1 thing but im not rlly gonna expose myself like tht on here smh

n.o: biggest pet peeve?

loud chewing/loud eating,,,,,,

we on: how do you deal with people who don’t like you?

i dont deal wit it lmfao it’s not my business who likes me n who doesn’t unless someone’s being particularly vocal about it:// in that case i’d prolly jus laugh about it

if i ruled the world: what would you do if you found out that you were an heir to a wealthy kingdom?

lmfao. idk tbh prolly decide which breed of dog i wanted to be known for loving

coffee: what’s your coffee order?

i dont order coffee often buh somethin w a lot of sugar.

cypher pt. 1: if you had to be part of a kpop group, what position would you want to be (i.e. leader, visual, lead vocal, dancer, rapper, maknae, etc.)

maknae i guess? how about staff

rise of bangtan: when and how did you get into the king and legends, also known as bangtan sonyeondan?

i saw a video of yoongi performing intro:nevermind in like 2015 n was :o ! buh never looked into it. in 2016 i saw the fire and bst dance practice vids and was like :0!??? but again, never looked into it. then finally spring day/not today mvs dropped n i FINALLY looked into who these boys were n jus fell down an ever spiraling rabbit hole.. now we here

satoori rap: what does home mean to you?

a feeling. i mean i have a few physical manifestations of the concept of home: my town, my school, my house. things i can return to. but really it’s a feeling isn’t it?? safety, familiarity, comfort, fondness

boy in luv: when you are interested in someone (romantically, sexually, etc.), does your behavior change?

yeah probably altho i dnt have many data points to go over rn

just one day: who would you want to spend the last day of your life with?

yall expectin me 2 say bts buh id want 2 be wit my friends n family . bts can b there 2 if they want

tomorrow: goal that you would like to achieve within the next year?

get into..... college.....

cypher pt. 2: one thing about yourself you wish people would appreciate more?

i never express appreciation n all that verbally thru words or physically thru touch buh i have my own ways of showin tht i care n i guess it dont count if i dont communicate explicitly like: hey ilu ! . what happened to actions speak louder than words smh

spine breaker: what is your weakness when it comes to spending money?

makeup!!!!!!!!!! >

jump: favorite childhood memory?

getting my dog tina!!!!

miss right: what is your ideal ‘type’?

physically i tend 2 like the boyish types likkee think taehyung inu era i guess. boy next door vibes; ive never rlly been into the macho build or the preppy, neat look, or the rough around the edges, angsty shithead badboy exterior model like i like my boys S.O.F.T.! puppy-ish!

personality wise i guess jusssss idk i’m gonna copy n paste a list of qualities i look 4 in a partner that i wrote for a different ask game a while back: Sense of humor, openmindedness, compassion, reliability, ability 2 communicate directly/emotional maturity, ambition/drive/work ethic, etc.

i like it pt. 2: dream date? 

yall prolly expecting me to say smthn like staying in n watching movies n eating junk but i’d prolly wanna go out n do smthn ngl. not a movie where u can hardly even speak or a dinner date where u feel trapped n stiff buh smthn fun n mildly competitive n engaging ??????? although jus chillin dont sound so terrible either

danger: have you ever had a near-death experience?

kinda not really it was on hampton beach n i had an allergic reaction but i wasnt on death’s door or nuthn

war of hormone: most embarrassing moment?

i bled thru my fucking pants in like 7th grade n it got on the chair! it was bad lol i was jus talking about this w my friend n she was like “yeah i remember that haha:)” shut up caitlin

hip hop lover: three songs that are meaningful to you?

moonlight sonata, ballade no. 1 in g minor, bts’ entire discography ties for 3rd

let me know: are you good at keeping secrets?

no lmfao . keeping my own, sure.

rain: most spontaneous thing you’ve ever done?

some words that have never been used to describe me, grace: spontaneous, easy going, flexible. the most impulsive thing i’ve done is prolly take a random sidestreet omw home just for the heck of it lol

cypher pt. 3: favorite outfit to wear?

cute jeans w a belt, a crop top. white adidas. i like dresses too tho!! n i really like layered clothes (a mock turtle neck under a slip dress or like a pinstripe button up under a babydoll fit blouse. i jus think it’s fuckin adorable)

blanket kick: longest time you’ve spent lying in bed (sleeping or not)? 

prolly 2 or 3 days

24/7 = heaven: what are you most looking forward to?

fuck i rlly dk . doesnt that suck??

look here: do you have any hidden talents?

i can burp on command lmfaoofdj

second grade: proudest accomplishment?

dont ask me this if u dnt want to be made uncomfortable by how genuinely unproud of myself i am lol

i need u: are you in love?

wit k*m t*aehy*ng? yeah.

hold me tight: does physical contact comfort you?

no........... maybe i havent found the right person but it’s not my cup of tea generally speaking

love is not over: ever had your heart broken?

no but now i know what i can look forward to haha

dead leaves: how loyal are you?

im rlly loyal if that commitment is mutual. w my family i’m ride or die i’ll fuck anyone up who comes for my asshole brother idc!!!!!!!!!

move: last time you cried?

cant remember,, i dnt cry much. prolly watching reply 1988 when bo ra and her dad were exchanging letters on her wedding day.

butterfly: most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen?

his name looks similar to my url thats the only hint im giving

run: do you like traveling? if so, where? what’s your dream vacation?

i dnt really like travelling tbh but i do wanna go back to korea one day. not necessarily as a tourist but as a diasporic korean person myself

ma city: if you could live anywhere in the world, where would it be?

idk. i cant imagine not living in the states tbh but i also cant say i love it here either

baepsae: do you vote and/or keep up with politics?

i can’t vote but i’m in my school’s youth vote committee which runs debates for local elections and registration drives at the end of the year. i kept up with politics a lot more last year but after the election i jus got 2 bitter. i know what’s going on but only sort of surface level smh

dope: what did you want to be when you were younger? how does it compare to what you want to be now?

i wanted to be a teacher lmfao and i wanted to commute to college n save $$ bc i was a practical little fucker even when i was 6. these days i’m not that interested in teaching bc a) i’d be objectively bad at it and b) i was a classroom mentor for elementary schools and... realized i can’t work w kids tht small every damn day i’d rlly snap

fire: are you a spontaneous person?

no~

save me: your favorite place on earth?

rn??? m y bed

young forever: what is one movie from your childhood that you will always treasure?

august rush lol

boys with fun: you’re going on a roadtrip with seven other people– dead, alive, fictional, real, famous, or not. who are they, and why?

really......... seven other people:)? guess.

converse high: how many pairs of shoes do you own?

12??? 3 are the same black heel lmfao n a lot i havent worn in years but i still technically own them. i rlly b wearing the same 4 pairs in a cycle n 1 rotten bleach stained soggy mess for work shoes.

whalien 52: weirdest thing that has ever happened to you? alternatively, weirdest dream you’ve ever had?

weirdest dream i ever had was way too long to type out n had way too many references to people in my personal life to ever be interesting lmao

house of cards: when was the last time you felt sexy?

HAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAAHHAAH?????????????????

boy meets evil: have you ever committed a crime? if so, what was it? alternatively, what is the worst thing you have ever done?

does speeding count smh.

blood, sweat, & tears: kinkiest kink you have?

rolling eyes emoji. pass!

begin: who are you most grateful for in your life?

my parents!

lie: biggest fear?

real talk? failure. abandonment but i’m adopted, how cliche. also bugs

stigma: would you rather know the date of your death or the cause of your death?

date of death bc if i knew the cause but not have any indication of when it’d hit me, i’d be a paranoid agoraphobic wreck for the rest of my life

first love: do you believe in soulmates?

yes but i also believe you can have more than one! and that soulmates aren’t exclusively romantic

reflection: if you could tell your past self one thing, what would it be?

get ur fucking bangs cut

mama: are you good at giving advice?

yeah i think so

awake: if you had to be a flower, which flower would you be?

lazy daisy

lost: how good are you with directions? do you get lost easily?

horrible horrible horrible. directionally challenged. i can’t even find my way to the fucking grocery store down the road on my own. if i ever missed an exit on the highway you’d never hear from me again, i could never find my way back without a gps. i’m dead serious

cypher pt. 4: what do you do to treat yourself or relax?

take a bath or a long long shower. eat smthn warm, drink tea, do a face mask, change my sheets n snuggle up watchin a drama or movie or playin sims

am i wrong: you wake up one morning in the hospital, knowing only your name and a single memory from your life. what is that memory?

wtf how do i answer this lmfao how wud i know lol

21st century girls: do you prefer texting, calling, or video chatting?

texting! calling if it’s a long story though

2!3!: your favorite thing about bangtan?

their modesty and grace ! they’re a true underdog success story >

spring day: who do you miss right now?

uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

not today: what are your procrastinating right now?

math summer work smh

wings: on airplanes, do you prefer the window seat, the middle seat, or the aisle seat?

window seat!

you never walk alone: how many people do you trust with your life?

4?