#i say essay it's more like an opinion piece i guess

[voltstone]

THE THREE (OF FIVE) TWDG DEATHS WHICH HAUNT ME SO

Okay, so this is more of an opinion piece than it is an essay, but like, all of my essays are my own opinion anyway… Whatever. This is an opinion piece, I don't care.

Basically.

These are the 3 TWDG deaths that got to me.

Plus the, like, other two that definitely got to me too, but…they're different. I'll get into it.

I could have made this into more of an essay-essay, but whatever. I have two more in the works, one of them being more of a commentary which includes both Luke and Brody's, and then another one that's about Ben and Sarah actually.

Both of those will take a little bit, and I have a suspicion the first may end up being the longest essay by the end.

Anyway. Here's this.

[The Boring Ones]

My Clementine shot Lee, and she shot Kenny after he killed Jane. Very sadness. Got knots and tears in my throat.

So. There you go.

Anyway—

Okay, I am being a little bit of an ass. Of course there's a lot to analyze and evaluate with both deaths. Lee's is reflective of his character and what he wants for Clementine. S2's ending, meanwhile, is reflective of Clementine herself, just in a very different way; it's a test of loyalty and, given how I tend to play, a testament of what she would do at a breaking point; or, it could also be another decision of what's best for her, should the player choose based off of what information they have.

The main reason why I won't really consider these two of the "TWDG deaths that got to me" is… Well, for one, there's already been in-depth analyses of both, and while I could contribute, it would take analyzing their respective seasons as well, picking apart player choice, and yada yada. Secondly, this essay is more about the "smaller" deaths. Not the ones that are as emphasized in this way by the narrative. These deaths represent the losses along the way, and some of them hurt more than others, and get a rise.

That being said, one of them is related to these in how I processed the narrative, so one of these two will come up again. Just, less as a remark of the scene itself, and more a remark of the "smaller" death.

Anyhow, both of these scenes are catastrophic moments in the narrative either way. But because they are so catastrophic, they're not really relevant to this.

This is also what arguably makes this essay not that but instead an opinion piece. If I wanted to go in a more "essay" route (evaluation), I would have been focused on deconstructing the deaths that got to Clementine as a character and why, since that would be more of an analysis of TWDG, not the deaths that got to me because… I dunno. It's my feelings and my opinion.

And I feel like sharing it transparently here. Rather than using my own inferences or experiences as example.

[LUKE]

But! But! Luke's death was so stupid and didn't need to happen it was just a way for the season to be all depressing and stupid and—! And they could've walked around or crawled better on the ice and, and—!

Okay. I don't give a shit.

Not to say that I don't recognize the blaring narrative issues surrounding this moment, because I do. There is a lot to comment on; in fact, as I mentioned, this is one of the two deaths which will be analyzed in another essay. So in that essay, I will actually care about it.

Regardless, it's not that relevant here. Kinda. I won't indulge in it too much. There's no war in Ba Sing Se. Shh.

Luke's death is just tragedy, plain and simple.

The group is crossing this lake, desperate to just get out of the open winter and into some semblance of shelter. The house was never finished, but the fact that they still gun for it speaks to their desperation. …even if the game could have emphasized the desperation more, in the moment. But. Whatever.

With Luke's death, there's three different ways it can happen. Clementine listens to Bonnie, and goes to help Luke immediately. Clementine listens to Luke initially, and keeps the walkers off him while Bonnie goes against his word and tries to help. Both scenarios, two fall into the ice, that being Luke and whoever's closer. Then, there's a secondary option should Clementine try to save Luke thereafter, and she'll fall into the ice as well.

Bonnie's fate is also decided here. Depending on the choices, she'll die.

Regardless though, there was a slim chance that Luke was going to get out of that, if any at all. Once that ice started to break through, I don't really know if there would be anything he could've done. Some say he could've gotten closer to the ice to spread his weight better, so that it's not concentrated onto one point. However, Luke doesn't.

For one thing, the character may have been doomed due to his ignorance. If Luke didn't grow up around ice, he wouldn't have known.

Two, he was shot in his leg, and the walkers weren't helping things. So while yes, he may have had the chance to escape the ice, I don't know if Luke's mobility would have allowed it. Simply put, he was wounded by the shootout. And as S2 is concerned, this does represent the narrative's symbolic mark on him: Luke was wounded by a running motif of S2, which I will get to with Rebecca's death. It does say something. You know. Symbolically.

It's this slim chance, on top of the desperation, which has his death be the tragedy it is.

I always interpreted Luke, in that moment, realized he was out of luck. He knew his weight alone was too much, and anyone else—including the child, who's lighter than Bonnie—would've just exacerbated it.

Either way, Bonnie made it worse. Because she's desperate, and when you're desperate, the facts suddenly don't matter until said facts decide to rear their ugly heads.

Tried to save Luke. Fact of the matter was, that wasn't realistic.

Same way the group as a whole tried to save on time and energy, and just cross the ice. It could have been done. Everybody was in front of Luke once he got to that part of the ice, but… Caution was the sacrifice, and Luke got killed for it.

This reading of Luke's demise is another reason why I don't really care about how "unrealistic" it was, or how "stupid."

Was it stupid? Yes. Unrealistic? No.

Because people do die like this, and at a point in the season where the group got to a desperate point, it was only a matter of time before that eagerness to survive got someone killed. I firmly believe that's what his death was supposed to represent.

…the issues around it, which I will better deconstruct and analyze in another essay, boils down to the 1) confusion in the narrative, and 2) the fact that it's Luke. I don't mind that it was Luke, but I understand why people get upset that it's this character dying the way he did.

S2 does stumble a little bit in the reasoning behind them crossing the lake. I think desperation would have been the reason regardless, and it's a realistic one, but I do think they could've done a better job in really cementing that it was desperation. And then, also… The whole lake thing. There is one change that would've fixed everything, and it's a really simple one that was already established:

Make it a river. No, literally. Just make it so that there's no other way to cross. And also, if it was a river, have someone (I say Bonnie, Mike, or Kenny) freak out that they just need a break (which would've signaled that desperation). This being instead of just seeing the house, Kenny complaining, and Mike pointing out that they're there for supplies or something.

…which like, no Mike. You want the shelter too, you dingbat.

But, I digress.

Now, I'll go back to my final decision of S2, because Luke's death absolutely haunted that choice, hence why this death of S2 struck the way it did despite the narrative stumble. In the moment, no, I didn't really think about anything. I just had a visceral reaction and shot Kenny without even reading the other options.

Cuz I was feeling ✨spicy✨.

And by spicy, I mean agitated. There was a domino effect at play, one that Christa's separation incited. However, by this point, so much had already happened.

Then there's just Kenny.

Kenny would blow up, he'd feel remorse, and he'd apologize—like he'd done at the pylon. Then. He just. Turned around, and did the same shit thereafter, despite apology. He beat Arvo when Clementine needed a fire. Because she was climbing to Death's door with hypothermia closing in, and was still rattled from breaking through the ice in a panic to get Luke back.

But here Kenny was beating on a teenager. And when my Clementine went to stop him, he was again remorseful for accidentally hitting Clementine… Yet. Kenny still snapped at her. After that remorse on his face. Muttered a cruel line about "thought you liked this kind of thing" because she'd supported him before with Carver.

And over, and over, and over again. Until a breaking point.

A breaking point, which, I always found was marked by Luke's death in particular. He had been the catalyst to that season's final descent—like how the moment Lee got bit was S1's final catalyst. My Clementine fell into the ice for him, because panic and that desperation arose. She was pulled out, and within that timespan of needing a fire, there was Bonnie, who again didn't help and blamed Clementine. But then, Kenny decided to perpetuate the same cycle that had been a bane on her, even though he, again, apologized before. This same cycle that my Clementine relied on Luke and focus on AJ to escape from.

Except, all of a sudden, there was only AJ to escape to. Luke was gone.

So for my Clementine, he had been the catalyst because he had been the one adult she ultimately needed, regardless of his own shortcomings. She didn't know what to do with Jane, and she was losing her forbearance with Kenny because again, yes, he was a lot to navigate for a child.

And in conjunction with the imagery of Luke in the water (yikes dude, you don't look too good), yeah. It's in the top 3 for me.

[REBECCA]

I quite like Rebecca. I find her character interesting, especially as more time passes, and you realize her aggression in the beginning is…a farce, more or less. Not to say Rebecca can't be confident, or hostile, because we definitely get that side of her after she warms to Clementine, but, she is far more of an anxious woman trying to survive for her baby than anything else. She's stressed about who the father is. There's dead people just walking around. One of the potential fathers is hunting her down for the sake of "his" child.

And then there's just this random ass kid with a mauled arm, because Clementine was bitten. Just by a dog, not…a dead people.

So like yeah, Rebecca's so mean to Clementine in the beginning, but…Imma be honest, I don't know how many people wouldn't have at least been cautious of Clementine.

Once Rebecca does warm up to her, and we see more of that anxiety, and then her desperation/hope to have AJ… She's a nice lady. One of my favorite lines of hers is when she talks about AJ, she's hopeful because regardless of who she gives birth to, this is a new person she'd get to meet.

I just like her, so by the time she panics within the herd, and Clementine is there to help, of course I have Clementine oblige.

…now sure, did that reliance on her feed into the whole "child doing the adulting thing when she shouldn't have"? Well. Yeah.

But she's a nervous pregnant woman, I think asking for any kind of help when actively in a herd is the least concerning instance of "child doing the adulting thing."

She does die though. So. There's that whole thing.

I will say the one thing I do kind of wish is it should have mattered where it happened, or how it went, should the group choose to stay at the observatory deck to rest, or go to the nearby town as soon as they can. Rebecca is going to die regardless; she does not look good after giving birth, and I'm assuming it was both a case of 1) over-exhaustion, and 2) bleeding out that really weakened her, which leaves the hypothermia as that final nail in the coffin.

But, at the same time, the shootout would be at the spot it is regardless because that was where the Russian group had set their trap, it just so happens that Clementine came across Arvo before. And symbolically, so much of this death hinges on the fact that it starts this shootout. It is S2 at its core; if you want to summarize this season, this is the scene to do so.

Hence why I say kind of. I'm always going to value narrative significance over realism whenever there is a conflict of interest between the two. It's nice to have both, but stories are seldom perfect, so. Yeah. The group is at the observation deck for a few days, however, (if you choose to,) so I just…wish there was more of an impact than the dialogue right before the shooting. But, whatever.

Rebecca's death is depressing, and it's indicative of neglect.

Hence why it's here, in this post.

It's also why I will fight tooth and nail for this season, regardless of its shortcomings.

Unlike with Luke, I'll work my way backwards and start with the symbolism/narrative significance for the season before the moment itself.

S2 has a running motif of the Civil War, especially in the episodes after Howe's Hardware, however, you could also include Howe's in the theme. You have people working under a ruthless leader—including Rebecca, who could be bearing his child—, and those people escape. And what does Carver do? He chases them down, in the same manner that slave owners would chase down their slaves. And once he catches them, they're sent to forced labor, aside for the man (Alvin) who posed a threat to Carver's legitimacy as a father, and Rebecca, who was pregnant with a child he could raise like a crop to a field.

…which has me wonder if Rebecca and Alvin both being black, and Carver not was a coincidence, or a conscious choice. On top of Carver being someone fixated on the survival of a strong progeny.

Though as I said, the motif is especially found after Howe's Hardware, because that's when the season decides to be blunt. They find sanctuary in a Civil War site, from a museum to the observation deck. And sure, as much as it is a cheeky nod back to Lee...

This motif is S2's identity. You can't just separate the two and expect to get a grounded understanding of what S2 is as an environment. S2's about Clementine navigating the adult world way too soon, and growing up in the same manner. The environment she's put in is…a civil war.

And it being in winter is actually a very crucial element.

See: Fredricksberg, a battle set in Dec. 11-15 between Lee's Army of Northern Virginia and Burnside's Army of the Potomac… Hm.

I can (and probably will someday) go on and on and on.

Conflict like this is perpetuated throughout the season, and it's concluded with the ultimate civil conflict—between Kenny and Jane, the last two adults in Clementine's group. And it's also found at the time of Rebecca's death, because that sense of conflict is absolutely present given the shootout.

…except, what is interesting is Rebecca's death is the one scene that does not reference the Civil War. It references the United States' Revolutionary War.

Specifically, the shot heard round the world, which is derivative of that first shot which initiated battles in Lexington and Concord (April 19, 1775). The catalyst to the American Revolution, between the colonists, and the English—who were deemed to be invading.

Here, we have S2's core group, and then…another group. Who's distinctly foreign, given the Russian accent and language.

And the shot heard round this season is either dealt by Clementine herself, or Kenny, in order to put down Rebecca's reanimated corpse. The shot wasn't directed at either side here. However, it didn't matter, So in the confusion, the shootout began.

In the same way I can rattle on and on over the Civil War motif throughout, I can rattle on about this scene alone. I won't, aside for this:

This scene feels different because of the sheer amount of symbolism backing it. It's what I mean when I say this scene is S2 at its core. There's the revolutionary symbolism, which illustrates how the group does put aside their differences to fight a common enemy—that being the Russians here, but also the apocalypse itself, given Rebecca's reanimation. Yet, before and after this…, it goes back to the Civil War motif because the "common enemy" is not the central threat. The contention between everyone and their differences are.

So then, the moment itself...

There's this desolation to it. Rebecca died out in the open, still cradling AJ, and Clementine is the only one who notices.

That moment, where the adults are caught up in their own dispute, leaving the child to recognize the situation for what it actually is, and where she's forced to navigate on her own whether or not to take that first shot, or to have one of the adults (Kenny) do it...

It is the one of few deaths I can picture vividly without having to reference a screen.

And, it really speaks to that desolation. The one that the season is adamant to hammer home, because it wants you to miss Lee. To the point it actively uses its motif to kill two birds with one stone and do just that. S2 is where Lee becomes less a comfort, and more of a realization: he was an anomaly in the apocalypse.

Not all Lees were perfect, and did make huge mistakes, but Lee as a person always knew how to treat Clementine, and she never was put into these kind of positions where there's adults around, but there's something happening, why aren't you listening? Why don't you notice me? I need you to actually be there to support me.

It's a lot of why the season is the way it is, and why this scene in particular struck me the way it did. Because throughout it all, I was bombarded by the thought, how did it get to this point? It's nothing like S1's shootout where Clementine was ducked into safety immediately; here, she sees Rebecca, and then she's asked to contribute so that Luke can be a dumbass and dart from one cover to another.

I digress, though.

Like with Luke, there is a lot of narrative implications with Rebecca's death, and the trend will continue in Brody. For the sake of this post, that's telling of me more than anything else. But it is hard to separate the strings attached to each since, often times, whenever something really hits close, it's because there's other contexts to it.

And I also like storytelling. So. Duh.

For me, that other context with Rebecca is S2 as a whole, and the reason why S2 as a whole hits way too close to home is cuz um. Neglect when there's people around you hurts like a bitch. Owie. Thanks for the catharsis, I guess. But also thanks for the symbolic warfare stuff, I do come from a military family.

In any case, I will move onto the last death, because the death in itself is brutal, and Brody's walker is also just…terrifying.

[BRODY]

I like Luke. I quite like Rebecca.

And I really like Brody's character. It's a shame that she only was given so much time, and that's given you even choose to go fishing with her. But within that time, her character is solid. From her design to her dialogue and voice acting, and then to the tension she has with Violet—it's a nice bit of depth to have.

Like a pothole, neglected by the government for years, so there's enough room to dump the bodies.

Now that being said…, I don't mind that she dies so early on. For a number of reasons, but for the sake of this essay, her death really sets the tone, and it does a number of things that feeds into some of what the season explores.

For one, the gravity of the situation Marlon and Brody landed themselves in, right with the rest of the schoolkids. It also better contextualizes Marlon's character, and why he would be troubled youth. Because him bashing her head with a flashlight is a stark contradiction to what kind of person he prides himself to be, right down to how articulate he is in his verbiage.

Two, the state of the apocalypse. The fight between Clementine and Brody's reanimated corpse was a horror in itself, which had been the scene's intention. And that alone says a lot because Clementine knows how to fight at this point, the walkers the player encounters before this are all corroded, so...

Yeah, the apocalypse is still at large, just in a different way, and Brody presents that to us.

Before the reanimation, however, there is the death in itself.

And I can go on about symbolism, and narrative bullshit, and all that stuff cuz I'm a writer, blah blah blah… All the stuff that I did with the previous two deaths.

But I won't because Brody is distinct in that it's not the narrative strings attached that rattle me. The narrative bullshit comes with her reanimated corpse.

So when I see her death, I don't see the Civil War and American Revolution analogies like I do with Rebecca, nor the sentiment of desperation and a catalyst effect like I do with Luke.

All I see is brutality.

Brody's death is the most gutting of the games.

At least, not literally. And also to me, of course, since this is an opinion piece… Or whatever.

Brody is struck once in the head, mid-sentence as she is trying to tell Clementine the truth. And the moment it happens, Brody is completely disorientated.

She first asks, "What did you say?" Then she collapses. Is rendered blind, confused, and has to have her memory jogged to remember who Clementine is as Clementine kneels at her side.

And despite everything, Brody still tells Clementine everything she can.

But there is one line that absolutely guts me:

"Marlon'll kill me if I tell."

Brody is so out of it, she still has yet to truly grasp what happened.

Because. Brody...

Marlon already did.

She is actively dying from her own murder, because of Marlon, and she still is so scared that she tells Clementine the danger she's in.

My coal heart breaks whenever I hear that line, because it's a horrible way to go. One minute you're firm on you ground, telling someone what you need to say, and then next, you're just trying to cobble together the world around you before you're just…gone. That's it.

I wouldn't be surprised if Brody's last conscious moment was before the flashlight struck.

And, of course, the direction of this scene does everything. The voicework, the camera, the lighting. It all just works to elevate how dark, and how brutal this scene is.

Then we get to the reanimation, where again, it's a horror. The scene portrays it as a horror. There's the moment where Brody comes out of the shadows to snatch Clementine right back down into the basement. There's the parallel to Lee with the hammer and Sandra.

But ultimately, Brody serves as this season's reminder as to how dangerous TWDG's apocalypse remains to be. Sure, all the walkers now are decayed. They can't move as well. They don't hit as hard. So they only get really dangerous whenever they're in herds.

…yet, Brody's corpse is a huge threat. Why?

Well. While Brody's body was horking and growling in the shadows, Clementine is just waltzing around getting the flashlight and then a ruler to get out. She doesn't pay any mind to…Brody. Even though Clementine could clearly see that Brody was away from the broiler.

It's a false sense of security, which was ultimately how the apocalypse started in the first place; it took the world by surprise, and people panicked, and it spread all the more.

Not only that, Brody was a survivor. Her corpse is stronger than a lot of the earlier walkers because for the past many years, she had to build the muscle and dexterity to, you know, survive. And just before this scene, we see Brody knock Marlon flat on his ass because she's not dainty, here. She's really strong.

Maybe not quite on Clementine's level, but she's strong enough to pose a threat as a walker.

I just think it's cool. This death. And Rebecca's death. And Luke's death. I also like S2, I don't care.

Anyway that's it.

No I'm not giving this a proper conclusion. I'm done.

[evertomorrowart]

Best of YouTube 2023

Yes, I did spend the first week and change of January on this. I wish I could have had it done for New Years, but too many people came out with incredible work in December, so waiting turned out for the best.

What these creators do are a huge influence on my life, I would honestly have difficulty doing what I do without them. That isn't to say that my favorites of the year are *only* on this image--It was almost impossible to narrow down my favorites. Many creators I wanted to include couldn't fit on a single page, and too many of them made more than one video I wished I could draw too!

But, to all of you, thank you for what you do. You're an inspiration.

For those who don't know, further is an explanation.

At the bottom center is an artistic masterpiece by Defunctland: "Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History." Over the last several years, Defunctland has risen from delightfully-entertaining commentary on decommissioned theme park attractions to occasionally dropping profound statements on the creation of art itself. "Journey to EPCOT Center: A Symphonic History" is worth treating like the cinematic experience it is: No second screen, you sit your ass down in front of a TV, set down the phone, and then you *watch it.* Any Disney, theme park, or independent film fan needs to pay attention to this one.

Bottom left is Caelan Conrad with their piece "Drop the T - The Deadly Consequences of Gay Respectability Politics." While I do think they've done more visually or artistically-daring pieces before, "Drop the T" is one of the most important videos released on YouTube in today's current climate of hate. We as queer folk (and our allies) need to understand how integral every identity of the queer experience has been since the start of the Civil Rights movement (and before!). While we are not identical, we *are* inseparable, and we deserve having our real history easily accessible.

TERFs and other conservative mouthpieces need not reply. Your opinions are trash. 😘

I cannot stop watching and rewatching this video by @patricia-taxxon, "On the Ethics of Boinking Animal People." It's not just a defense of furry fandom and its eccentricities, it's a thoughtful and passionate analysis of what the artform achieves that purely human representation can't. Patricia goes outside of her usual essay format to directly speak to the viewer about the elements that define furry media (the most succinct definition I've ever heard) and just how *human* an act loving animal cartoons really is.

As an artist who can draw furry characters, but never really got into erotic furry art, this video is a treasure. Why did I choose to have her drawn as a Ghibli character, hanging out with one of the tanukis from "Pom Poko?" Guess you'll have to watch, bruh.

Philosophy Tube continuously puts out videos that I would put on this list--I'm not even sure that "A Man Plagiarised my Work: Women, Money, and the Nation" is the best work she released in 2023. However, this video got many conversations going between myself and my partner, and the twist on the tail end of the video shocked us both to such a degree that I had no choice.

At the very tail end of the year, Big Joel released "Fear of Death." On his Little Joel channel, he described it as the singularly best video he's ever done, and I'm inclined to agree. However, for this illustration, I ended up repeatedly going back to a mini-series he did earlier in the year: "Three Stories at the End of the World." All three videos are deeply moving and haunting, and I was brought to tears by "We Must Destroy What the Bomb Cannot." While it may be relatively-common knowledge that the original Gojira (Godzilla) film is horror grappling with the devastation America's rush to atomic dominance inflicted on Japan, Big Joel still manages to bring new words to the discussion. Please watch all three of the videos, but if, for some reason, you must have only one, let it be "We Must Destroy What the Bomb Cannot."

Y'all. Let me confess something. I hate football. I hate watching it, I associate seeing it from the stadiums with some of my worst childhood experiences, I despise collegiate and professional football (as institutions that destroy bodies and offer up children at the feet of its alter as a pillar of American culture)--

I. L o a t h e. Football.

But.

F.D. Signifier could get me to watch an entire hour-plus essay on why I should at least give a passing care. AND HE DID IT. I might think "F*ck the Police," the two-parter on Black conservatism, or his essay on Black men's connection to anime might be "better" videos, but this writer did the impossible and held my limited attention span towards football long enough to make a sincere case for NFL players--and reminds us that millionaires can *in fact* be workers. That alone is testament to his skill.

Sit down and watch "The REAL Reason NFL Running Backs Aren't Getting Paid." Any good anti-capitalist owes it to themselves.

CJ the X continuously puts out stunning, emotional videos, and can do it with the most seemingly-inconsequential starting points. A 30 second song? An incestuous commercial? Five minutes of Tangled? Sure, why not. Go destroy yourself emotionally by watching them. I'm serious. Do it.

Their video Stranger Things and the Meaning of Life manages to to remind us all why the way we react to media does, in fact, matter. Yes, even nostalgia-driven, mass-media schlock. Yes, how we interact with media matters, what it says about us matters, and we all deserve to seek out the whys.

Folding Ideas has spent the last few years articulating exactly why so much of our modern world feels broken, and because of that his voice continuously lives rent-free in my brain. While the tricks that scam artists and grifters use to try to swindle us are never new, the advancement of technology changes the aesthetics of their performances. Portions of Folding Ideas' explanations might seem dry when going into detail of how stocks work in This is Financial Advice, but every bit of it is necessary to peel back the layers of techno-babble and jargon and make sense of the results of "Meme Stocks."

Jessie Gender puts out nothing but bangers, her absolute unit of a video about Star Wars might be my new favorite thing ever, but none of her work hit so profoundly in 2023 than the two-parter "The Myth of 'Male Socialization'" and "The Trauma of Masculinity." There's so much about modern life that isolates and traumatizes us, and so much of it is just shrugged off as "normal." We owe it to ourselves to see the world in more vivid a color palette than we're initially given.

Panels drawn after Kate Beaton and "Ducks: Two Years in the Oil Sands."

"This is Not a Video Essay" is one of the most intense and beautiful pieces of art I've ever put into my eyeballs. Why do we create? What drives us to connect?

I don't even know what else to say about the Leftist Cooks' work, it repeatedly transcends the medium and platform. Watch every single one of their videos, but especially this one.

The likelihood you are terminally online and yet haven't heard of Hbomberguy's yearly forrays into destroying the careers of awful people is pretty slim. Just because it has millions of views doesn't mean that Hbomberguy's "Plagiarism and You(Tube)" isn't worth the hype. Too long? Shut up, it has chapters and YouTube holds your place, anyway. You think a deep dive into a handful of creators is only meaningless drama? Well, you're wrong, you wrong-opinion-haver. Plagiarism is an *everyone* problem because of the actual harm it creates--the history it erases, the labor it devalues, the art it marginalizes--which you would know if you watched "Plagiarism and You(Tube)".

Watch. The damn. Video.

In fact, watch all of them!

Thanks for reading this if you did.

[ask-the-rag-dolly]

okay . while i was writing the essay , i was going on a big spiel about how fandoms often reduce characters to familiar archetypes . then when i finished writing i realized i actually don't know what the Fuck i was yapping about because it all doesn't really apply to the tadc fandom post-ep 2 ? like Cool !! ragatha's an absolute loser of a woman , i think everyone has known that at this point .

basically ragatha's not the Best model for when i want to talk about nice characters being mischaracterized in fandom because i stopped seeing people making her put-together anyway . i can think of other characters that'll fit the thesis better .

i'm only deciding to post what i had down because i think i did say some stuff of note and because people were interested for . some reason ! . just keep in mind that it kind of became a nothingburger .

i'm in the middle of rewriting it to be less about the fandom though and my god it's already around 1118 words what am i doing with my life

also apologies in advance for the walls of text

——— this is not an essay to get you to like ragatha if you’re feeling meh towards her , or even dislike her . opinions are opinions , you have characters that appeal to you and i have mine ! this is just a ramblefest on why i love her , how people characterized her , and commentary on fandom culture as a whole

this is also not meant to bash any headcanons ! like good for you if you see her as the mother figure in the circus found family . the term ‘ mom friend ‘ here is used to describe how people often reduced her and similar characters down to a caretaker role for other characters while ignoring the Depth they have

as i think is clear in this blog by now , my favorite character in a piece of fiction has always been a mentally ill woman . the more complicated the brain , the better . i don’t have a type , but i know more often than not i would gravitate towards characters that are either misunderstood or disliked by most of the fandom

can you guess which category ragatha falls under —

don’t get me wrong , i am NOT generalizing tadc fans here ! the idea of her being a well-put together person lessened around episode 2 which is GREAT because i got to read very cool fics — and i’m not saying you have to know every part of ragatha’s thought processes to talk about her ( though at this point i think i’ve heard enough takes that makes me want to say that — )

‘ nice characters ‘ ( especially female ones ! ) in fandom never have the most pleasant development in my experience . either they will be pushed aside because they’re seen as boring compared to the more brasher characters or they’ll be disliked for the few times they did something seen as ‘ not so nice ‘ . and in the few times where they Are being paid attention , they’ll be put in an arbitrary box that waters down their traits .

in other words , fandoms put characters in boxes . terms like ‘ mom friend ‘ and ‘ cinnamon roll ‘ are those boxes . they're common tropes in media that fandoms typically like . it’s why people were so disappointed to find out that jax is actually an unlikable asshole instead of a ' jerk with a heart of gold ' — these boxes make the characters easy to consume and understand .

as you can tell , i don’t agree with putting characters in boxes ! first of all , how are they supposed to breathe in there ?

secondly , it’s just restricting yourself from genuinely engaging with a piece of media , especially for a character-driven story like tadc . i would be More forgiving of this problem if tadc was a plot-heavy show where the lore’s the main focus , but The Characters Are The Focus , Johnathan . trying to understand the characters personally to extract any potential moral lessons from them Is The Point of those types of stories

thirdly , i call those boxes arbitrary for a reason ; they often don't describe the characters at all , and in some cases , even goes against their characterization . my biggest problem with mom friend ragatha is that it Takes away the things that makes her interesting as a character .

do you know what's so compelling about ragatha ? it's that , believe it or not , she is Not the most reliable . one of the most fascinating things with ragatha in episode two is how it shows her approaching emotions Vs. Pomni approaching emotions .

even though it's unintentional , ragatha can be seen as Dismissive and Overbearing . the way she tried to reassure pomni of not feeling hurt by being left behind can seem Passive-Aggressive . her conversation with kinger shows that she Assumes what the other person thinks without hearing them out . this contrasts against pomni who lets gummigoo speak out his feelings and actually had viable things to say than ' don't worry about it haha '

this contrast is interesting to note because it shows the world of difference between ragatha and pomni's emotional maturity .

you can tell that ragatha can be simple-minded . not in a ' she's a dumbass ' way , but in that she's Reluctant to approach uncomfortable emotions without beaming it with a ray of positivity . like you can tell she thinks that Repressing her emotions to the point she can't feel them is the same as ' processing ' them . all of these are stuff that don't fit the Mature Mom Friend archetype .

and that's Fine !! because she was never meant to be in the role anyway !! there's a common theme of Community and Support in tadc , and that Everyone Has Each Other . ragatha was never meant to be the Glue holding everyone together , she's meant to be a part of the Unit that is the circus .

there's also a conversation to be had about how older female characters — or at least characters that are seen as having stereotypically ' feminine ' traits of being kind and caring — are often being pushed to a reductive , supportive familial role that reinforces gender roles , but you didn't hear it from me !

anyways uh in conclusion ragatha's awesomesauce ok i'm going back to drawing

[bookofmirth]

Did you like cc3 or love? Neither?

oh hello, why don't you pull up a chair because I have finished this book and I have Thoughts. I was thinking for a good chunk of this book that I would give it 2 stars. I still might. It depends on how it sits with me over the next couple of weeks. I ended up giving it 3 because I did enjoy some parts.

I will start with the more positive thoughts.

I am glad that the crossover was limited. One of my fears was that the series be unavoidably intertwined from here on out, so that pleases me.

I really did like seeing how Nesta has grown, her friendship with Azriel, and seeing more interesting things with his powers! That was really neat.

I did laugh out loud a couple of times, at points where I was supposed to laugh out loud. I think Tharion is dumb as hell but he made me chuckle.

The scene with Ithan and Sabine towards the end was good, I was like Gordon Ramsay, finally, some delicious fucking consequences.

Ummm... I like Ruhn and Lidia still. They had some silly moments, but overall they are the only characters in this book that I still have a shred of respect for. Maybe Perry and Sathia. Everyone else is on thin fucking ice.

Shout out to the one (1) line Bryce said that I liked: “I’m sick and tired of people using 'girl' as an insult.”

Unfortunately, the list of things I didn't like is far longer. I'm actually going to put it under the cut if people don't want their enjoyment spoiled or simply don't care.

In my opinion, sjm is a good storyteller, and an okay writer. This book really, really highlighted that for me. The plotting was a mess, I was constantly going back a page because I was confused about what was going on, there were weird inconsistencies that only made sense if you stepped back from the book and thought "well, the author needed that to happen, I guess."

There were some typos and word choice errors that should have been caught - "every muscle in Bryce's body went taught" and then a missing quotation mark (But it was Aidas who answered, pride flaring on his face. Apollion slew her with his Helfire when she attacked him—he pulled her burning heart from her chest and ate it.”). Not to mention the 255 "could have sworns" and 50-something "as if". I noticed a few similar phrases to this. If I'm feeling spicy one day maybe I will go back and find them.

The number of times she says "by whatever power" or "somehow" in a book where she has spent a lot of time explaining the power, and we should know what the "somehow" is???

Who in the ever loving fuck thinks that splitting up two tense scenes by cutting them into bite sized pieces and then interspersing them together is a good idea???

There were multiple times when I laughed out loud at scenes that were not meant to be funny, because they just seemed so dumb. Like... Ithan "accidentally" beheading Sigrid. Excuse me?? lmao (I edited this one because in my annoyance I misrepresented that a bit)

The tone was so, so off. That was a big source of my inappropriate laughing. Like, Hunt thanking Urd that he had such a loyal, fierce badass mate. Or a chapter starting with Ruhn saying "nah". I think this is because the genre could not decided what it wanted to be. SJM was still writing like this was high fantasy, but then used the word "like" in the way that I use the word "like". I do get that this is urban fantasy and she tried to smush it with a high fantasy (a high fantasy with very little world building, but still), but I really do not think that this genre serves sjm's style of storytelling. At all.

Dear powers that be in whatever heaven that exists, please stop letting sjm describe every single character as the most strongest beautiful fiercest loyal badass tough unflenching etc etc etc. I fucking beg. One of the big reasons that I dislike pretty much every character in this series is that they ALL HAVE THE SAME PERSONALITY.

Bryce is annoying as hell. I could write a whole essay on her but she is easily my least favorite sjm character EVER.

I am bitter at feeling like I needed to read this book when, after hosab, I would have given up on this series if not for the crossover.

The crossover really did feel like a "teehee I can do this because I want to" with very, very little thought as to how it would actually make sense. A crossover like this should NOT be done by someone who doesn't outline, and who pantses their writing. Pantsing is fine in itself! Pantsers should be barred from writing this kind of book.

Hunt's dick is too big for his underwear.

[utilitycaster]

Would LOVE that essay on combat in dnd because full agree. But not even just for people watching live play, like, combat is an essential feature of dnd as a game system and it endlessly frustrates me when i see dms be like “yeah combat is just too complicated and no fun so i dont do it in my game :)!” Like i guess thats your right, but any non-caster class is gonna be miserable in your game. I saw a video recently talking about how dnd has kind of become the default ttrpg and is marketed as the perfect system for everyone and any style of play which is just. So not true. Combat in dnd is equally as integral as roleplay is and theres really no argument otherwise. Very valid if you hate dnd combat, it sure isnt for everyone, but in that case maybe play a different ttrpg where the characters arent constructed around combat abilities, i promise you’ll have more fun.

So this is one of those things that touches on maybe 99% of my feelings on Experiencing Fiction in general and actual play in particular; I apologize in advance for the length and digressions within this response.

Here are the reasons I have seen or I surmise why people don’t like D&D combat, either in actual play or in home games:

It can get crunchy and involves a lot of rules

There are long stretches in which individuals do not necessarily act (not exclusive to combat but I think this is a factor)

It contains violence

There is a potential for character death

Now, it’s fine if you aren’t interested in D&D-style combat, for whatever reason, when you play ttrpgs. It’s just that this is a core feature of D&D. As you say, this is what the martial classes are structured around - and, frankly, no small number of casting classes/subclasses as well. By avoiding it when you play D&D, you’re avoiding the bulk of the game, and there are plenty of ttrpgs that permit open RP that aren’t combat focused that would probably fit your needs better (eg: PbtA and Savage Worlds are both generic systems that can support a heroic fantasy like D&D without the emphasis on combat skills). I happen to love and prefer D&D, but that is specifically because I love combat, and yeah, there are other games and people should seek out those games if they don’t like combat.

When it comes to D&D actual play though…skipping combat is just straight-up stupid. And to be clear I mean fully skipping it and not watching it at all; while this is piggybacking off my post about spoilers, it’s fine if you are the sort of person who needs to know how combat ends in order to enjoy it! That’s just a personal preference that I respect even if I don’t share it.

D&D combat isn’t just an inherent part of the game; it’s an inherent part of the story. The idea of D&D being split into combat and RP is a false dichotomy. There is RP and crucial story within combat scenes, and you simply do not achieve the same effects by reading an after-the-fact summary. To use examples from Critical Role, consider one of the most famous RP moments from Campaign 1, when Scanlan uses his 9th level counterspell in the Vecna fight. The weight of that moment derives from mechanics and from the fact that it is in the midst of combat and well into a climatic final battle. Or for lighter examples, there’s a ton of Beau/Yasha and Fjord/Jester mid-combat flirting running through much of Campaign 2 that informs those relationships. Molly’s death? Caleb going into a fugue state when he kills humanoids with fire? Yasha destroying Obann? Fjord dying mid-deep scion fight? Those are all moments that have deep character weight and meaning that are within the context of combat, and you cannot divorce them from that context and hope to retain the same effect.

This is what dovetails into a larger discussion of Experiencing Fiction which is a (in my opinion) worrying tendency among some people to truly believe that you can cut up media into the palatable bits and pieces and push all of what you see as icky vegetables to the side of your plate. I fucking hate this. I think it’s what drives a lot of things including a distaste for combat. This is how you get, for example, people who dislike combat because Violence And Death Bad, which, do I think that in the real world violence is most often a thing to be avoided? Do I think that in the real world death is heartbreaking? Yes, but this is fiction. There’s that great Brennan Lee Mulligan quote about how TTRPGs like D&D allow people who usually must be conflict-avoidant in real life to let out their anger and frustration in a place where it is safe and harmless, and I believe that whole-heartedly. I want stories about death because I want to know I'm not alone in how I feel about death. I want stories in which people can express their rage in ways both healthy and unhealthy, because big same. (I also think it’s absolutely not coincidental that people who believe they are ‘protecting’ people by circumscribing what is acceptable in fiction tend to be strongly associated with either bigoted, violent policies in real life, or harassment and doxxing online; maybe enjoy a fucked up movie, as John Waters once said, and you'll calm down.)

This idea that you can cut up media and only consume what you like is also what I think is behind some of the really ill-considered and overly granular timestamped content warnings I’ve mentioned previously. It is fine if there are things you don’t want to watch or which will be upsetting or even triggering to watch! It’s fine if you as an individual don’t like violence! But I think there’s a problem when people believe they are entitled to be able to watch whatever they want and have it mold to their exact wants and needs (and that it’s a failing if it doesn’t), rather than taking on the responsibility of seeking out media that already fits the bill. Actual Play D&D will nearly always have violent encounters. If this will be an issue this is not for you. It is not gatekeeping to say “you can come through this gate, but the gate is in fact here for your specifically requested protection"; and yet people think that instead, gates should be placed around everything else. So (to give an example) this is why the warnings for D20’s Neverafter strike me as a symptom of this larger problem - if you have discomfort with violence towards animals and children, that’s fine, but you are watching a D&D horror series in which over half the player characters are either animals or children. This is not something where you can skip a few seconds of a flashing gif that might be a migraine or seizure trigger, or a case where an exceptionally rough scene of gaslighting can be read instead of watched; this is inherent to the show, and if this is not for you, you need to go elsewhere.

To give one last example, I was looking for fanart for Worlds Beyond Number, and came across a picture of Suvi with a caption of “Suvi but without the imperialism” and like…Aabria has said in interviews that this engagement with the empire is extremely deliberate; that Suvi is intended to be tied into the political structures of this world as an intentional contrast with Eursulon’s status as an outsider and Ame’s role at the smaller, community level. Suvi without imperialism is not identifiable as the same character and it throws the entire story off-kilter; she is of this empire and that is the fucking point. Any story worth telling is not just items thrown haphazardly into a bowl; they are combined and mixed. Someone is giving you a plate of brownies and you are acting like it’s physically possible to take out the cocoa powder without fucking the end result, and buddy, it’s not.

(Truly, I was not joking when I said this is like, the load-bearing pillar of most of my complaints about fiction consumption patterns in general. This is about how people will deny the flaws in characters even though any reasonably intelligent ten-year-old, and I know because I fucking was one once, understands that person vs. themself is one of the core conflicts and overcoming one’s flaws is in many cases the entire story and if you start out perfect there is nothing to be said. Like…I think a lot of people genuinely just want to watch a nonstop Monterey Bay Otter Cam of their sufficiently sanitized, focus-group-tested blorbos baking cookies together, and are affronted when people with the tiniest sliver of empathy and/or curiosity want a story with plot and character growth, which in turn require conflict.)

Anyway. I think the takeaways here are that there’s this awful entitlement people have in which they think that they can simply consume anything and it is the failure of that media if it doesn’t cater specifically to them, rather than a failure of them to seek out that which they would enjoy (and I could go on this rant indefinitely; it is truly the most constant theme among Takes I Think Are Dumb); and also I really want to bake something right now, given my choices of metaphor. Combat is part of D&D as a game and as a storytelling medium, and it is incumbent upon people who do not like combat to find something that doesn’t have D&D combat, rather than try to pull out the vital organs of the story.

[twst-hottest-takes]

In your opinion, rank the books from worst to best. (You can include/not include the Prologue and Book 7(cause it ain’t done yet))

*Cracks knuckles*

Okay, I'm about to do my darndest.

Ranking TWST story chapters based off my own personal criteria and opinions:

Disclaimer: This will be very subjective and opinionated.

If you've read any of my other similar posts you'll know the drill. No one is obligated to agree with me, this is just how I order things, as asked for by Anon here.

Starting With the Worst!

Book 5: They had 75 chapters and wasted so much time lollygagging. I love the twistunes/rythmics but we didn't need to do the instrumental of "Piece of My World" three times. Extra points lost for the EN server not getting the "Hi-Ho" twistune. This chapter suffered a lot from character bloat. Kalim and Jamil were really back-seated and while I love Deuce and Epel in this chapter it doesn't make up for the fact that they take up a lot of space where Scarabia should have been shining. Also, we didn't need to check in on what every single character we've met so far was doing during the culture fair. That's side-story junk. Oh and if you've read my first essay on how Vil sucks as a character you'll know that's the biggest pitfall. His writing is inconsistent and abyssmal and I don't feel bad about the cause of his diva tantrum. They had a lot to work with and squandered 80% of it. On top of that the MC is more of a side character than usual and is pretty much relegated to a plot device--OH AND GRIM ATTACKS US AT THE END!

(P.S. I voted for RSA too.

Book 2: This one hurts my soul. It's above Book 5 because it doesn't waste as much time and I am way more invested in Leona as a character than Vil. That being said, the writing is still pretty bad. Leona's plot and motives make him look like a total idiot loser, and they don't even try to treat the sabotage plot as an actual mystery. We have some half decent intrgue in the plot but the explanation for why events are happening is maddeningly underwhelming (again because it makes Leona [who is supposed to be smart, mind you] look like an idiot). When people say this book feels like early game content for the sake of early game content, you can see why. Oh, but on the bright side the MC is treated like a participant in the events (though they end up with a concussion because of Grim. . .again). That becomes disappointingly less common as the story continues.

Book 7: For now it goes here. As of the EN updates it would go higher because the Diasomnia arc is actually really compelling, but I know what's coming and guess what? THEY ARE WASTING TIME AGAIN! Book 7 gets points for actual good writing (almost like you can tell who they put the most effort into). The MC has a personal stake and a bit of influence on this story because of the relationship with Malleus that's been being established over the last few chapters. However, they are dilluting the good parts with the dream hopping nonsense which does NOT need to go on for as long as it has been. The new cards are a lot of fun, sure, I like fanservice, but I have my limits when it cuts into the main events. Also, no twistunes yet.

Prologue: Very much a perfect mid point on this list. A pretty solid start to the story. Nothing too fancy, but I figured I'd add it in here because it does fairly well to set expectations for the rest of the story. It gives us the basics of the minigame elements and the first gacha is always memorable. Nothing too fabulous, but a potential fun romp full of bishie shenanigans. Bonus points for the animated OP they played at the end. Mid to the max in the most flattering way I can mean that.

Book 3: The writing is pretty streamlined in this one. I don't have much bad to say about Azul other than his backstory is a little generic and his actions regarding the MC specifically make it hard (for me) to feel bad for him. Savanaclaw got a much better spotlight in this chapter than their actual featured chapter. My major gripe with this Book is that the MC is written to have the IQ of a salad bar. Stupid for the sake of the plot is one of the most annoying things for me, especially considering this is supposed to be the player insert. I hate being forced to put a dunce cap on just so that nonsense can happen. Leona has every right to call us dumdums, we didn't ask for a lawyer or even try to read the fine print on that contract! Otherwise? The writing only gets better (on the ranking list) from here.

These last three will basically reflect what I said in my Overblot ranking. Trying to order them is tough because they're all pretty strong, but I'm managing somehow.

Book 1: A great start to the main game. Riddle is hard to beat as far as antagonists go. He sets up the pattern for the future chapters super well and is a fairly well written character. There is just the right amount of exposition, the cast isn't overwhelming, and the finale is really well put together. Riddle feels like he actually had an arc, which results in the slightest difference in character that can result in further development down the line, and he wasn't let off the hook too easily for all the grief he put everyone through (something we can't say for most everyone else). If the rest of the chapters had been handled with this level of care this list would be a lot harder to make.

Book 6: Would be number one if it didn't have my first and foremost issue of feeling like it wastes my time. Not to a very extreme degree despite the length, but all those tower battles took soooo long. . .I just have to take some points off for that. That gripe aside, it's generally well written, the character interactions are pretty fun, the MC is useless but actually is trying to be involved. We get to be separated from Grim for a while, and stop the apocalypse from happening. Of course, the finishing touch is that Idia's story is very different from everyone who came before him. His characterization is consistent with what we've seen up until this point and his backstory and motivation for overblotting all check out. We got some good lore out of it, and a break from school based teen shenanigans. It hit me in the feels and escalated the stakes significantly without feeling too over the top. I'll also knock is down a peg for not having any twistunes to break up the monotony.

Book 4: Surprised to see this one at the top? (Bottom) Well it was a hard pick, but I'd say I just enjoyed it more than Book 6. The cast was whittled down, the MC isn't a total idiot and even though they get manipulated by Jamil, it's cathartic when we get to participate in the scheming against him towards the end. While I was a bit bored of the repetition between the first couple of days trapped in Scarabia, it's not that bad and does set up the conflict of Kalim being manipulated rather well. Palling around with Octavinelle as allies instead of opponents was great. Jamil is a good antagonist, who again is consistently characterized and well written. The icing on the cake is Ace and Deuce responding to our distress signal at the end of the chapter! It made me audibly "Awwww" because hey, who can blame the poor MC for thinking that up until this point no one really cared about them unless it was in the name of manipulating them? So yeah, Book 4 is my favorite. Best shenanigans, fun twistunes, straightforward and coherent plot that at least tried to make the mystery mysterious (even though we all knew what was going on from the start, let's be honest here), and the character moments are fantastic!

And there you have it! My thoughts on ranking the major arcs in the main story of TWST so far. I hope this is what you were looking for, Anon! I'm sorry this one took a little longer to answer, but I wanted to make sure I had all my ducks in a row when it came to putting this one together, while also not being excruciatingly detailed.

Now. . .

. . .what does everyone else think? Feel free to reblog, comment, or respond with whether or not you agree with how I ranked the various books and let's talk about it a bit more.

Thank you for asking!

[that-butch-archivist]

Hi! Sorry if this is a weird question, but I collect lgbtq books as well and I saw u had "out in america" in ur collection and I wanted to know ur opinion on it? I've got a free book credit from thriftbooks and I've been eyeing a copy of it for a bit but I've got soooo many books in my wishlist that trying to pick a choice for the credit has been kind of overwhelming lol so I guess I wanna know if it's "worth it" in a way (also jealous of ur copy of "nothing but the girl"! Been so hard to find when it's not a million dollars lol)

Hey, thanks for reaching out, not a weird question at all!

And to answer your question, I guess it depends on what you enjoy in these sorts of books. I would say I really enjoy it and think it's worth the purchase, but I'm also easily enthused by everything, so.

I guess to be more useful--so Out In America is a pretty big book with full-color photos and about, what--220-225 pages? Mainly capturing moments in LGBTQ+ America from the 80s and 90s. Some pictures are racy, others are charming, some touching & heart-warming, and others a good reminder, I think, that the last 40 years have not been a casual and leisurely jaunt to queer victory. The gays made themselves a nuisance to get here, and getting to see that in this book is both humbling & encouraging.

(My hand for scale. As for how big my hand is, uh. Slightly bigger than average, I guess?)

Here is the table of contents:

And here is some samples of the sorts of things you'll find in this book:

(Pardon the glare lol, also I haven't edited these images at all for clarity's sake, just cropped them hastily.)

So it's largely photos with the occasional mini-essay interspersed. This is definitely a book that's (fairly high) on my "books to archive" list, which in this case would mean putting up the photos and their captions specifically, text to be copied and posted later as applicable. So if you don't mind waiting a bit and want to see all the photos without purchasing the book itself, this I can eventually provide for you. If you really enjoy looking at pictures like this yourself and/or you don't want to wait, then I imagine it'd be a good purchase for you.

Unlike some other books I've pulled photos from, this is a legitimately photo-heavy book and the pieces of text take up about a half page usually and no more. I really enjoy getting to look at the gays of decades past so I'll always swoop for a book like this whenever I can, and it's one of my better photo-heavy books, I think. So. Take that for what it's worth, I'm not sure how much that sways you either way. :P

(Also you are one of a few now who I think have voiced envy that I have a copy of Nothing But the Girl. First off--agreed, I too am envious of me even though I actually have a copy ( apologies for rubbing that in by mentioning it.) I watched this book like a hawk for months and randomly saw a semi-decent price for a copy. Sheer dumb luck, man. If a PDF of Nothing But the Girl doesn't already exist, then I'm making one with my copy. I'll let you know when that's available.)

[stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale]

Saw you were going through Tillie Walden books in preparation for Book Three, got to commend you for putting in more legwork than most fans. Your review of Book One was actually what got me into reading her stuff and opening my perspective!

Idk if you've read Spinning yet so I don't want to spoil it, but there's a experience Tillie recounts from her life in it that really makes all of the accusations of Tillie being a groomer more disgusting. I'm not looking forward to fan discussion when Book Three starts to get marketed and releases, but I'm looking forward to whatever you'll have to say on it ^^

I've read Spinning and I think I know what part you're talking about. There are a handful of moments in Spinning that made me raise my brows and go, "....Oh. Oh no." And yeah, that scene is one I'm going to talk about a lot in my analysis.

Like... without giving too much away, my thought process in this is I believe that when a creator creates, whatever the medium, a piece of their soul is weaved in. Think about every artist you follow, writers and authors you read, video essayists you watch, etc. and you'll find connections and themes throughout their work that helps you piece together a small part of who they are, what they're passionate about, what bothers them, the pains they've suffered, etc. Sure, you'll never know the whole person, but you'll learn a little.

When I look at the Clementine comics, I always ask, "Why are you like this? Why are you the way that you are?? Why did Tillie write it like this??" and I believe a lot of questions are answered when looking at her previous works.

For example, everyone gets pissy about the reasons why Clementine left Ericson, and for good reason. But when you read more of Tillie's work, "I'm not happy"/"They thought I was a liability but I think the real issue was that I couldn't talk to any of them about it" actually starts to make some sense. It's still not good, but I can see why specifically Tillie Walden took that road... this isn't the first time she's written something like this.

The thing about Spinning is it's autobiographical, so we get to actually know a lot more about Tillie and her time as a competitive figure skater... because did y'all know that? She was a competitive figure and synchronized skater for twelve years, and she hated it. She dealt with bullying and all the pressures that come with being a skater. She was scared of being gay and living in Texas. One scene that I still think about [aside from that scene] is when she came out to her brother and his response was, "Oh. I mean, it's just sorta... wrong, I think."

I've read Spinning, On a Sunbeam, and a few stories from the Alone in Space collection, and I still have more to get to... though to be real honest, I'm totally procrastinating Are You Listening? because @pi-creates has read that one, so we've talked about it and I know the trigger warnings behind it and I'm just... I need to be in the right headspace, I'll get to it eventually.

But y'know what really sucks? I honestly believe that a lot of people in the twdg fandom would love Tillie's other works. Y'all are always going off about wanting more female characters who are complex, interesting, flawed and gay and like.... Tillie Walden! That's Tillie Walden's works! But opinions of her are soured by the Clementine comics! So they're not going to give her another chance! And that sucks!

Ugh, anyway... I guess you could say that my motivations behind this are my own frustrations with the fandom being so shitty with their bad faith takes, like listen.... I've discovered that bad faith takes really get under my skin- reddit makes me want to walk into the ocean.

I know that my one essay isn't going to change anything, and I'm not going to post it on reddit, but I'm doing it anyway in hopes that some people will read it and develop a more nuanced opinion of all this. Or give Tillie's other works a chance. But mostly, this is for me and if other people get something out of it, then even better.

Boat God help us all when Book Three drops, though... people were fucking shitty about Book Two, like people went out of their way to be intentionally deceptive with lying about what happens, blowing things out of proportion, and making fake wiki screenshots and shit. DomTheBomb's review on youtube was half-assed, furthered the harmful self-insert narrative, AND got basic facts about the story wrong. People attacked Tillie's insta with grooming accusations, and there were people telling her they hoped her newborn baby was taken away from her.

When I say I've never been more disappointed in this fandom, I fucking mean it. My only hope is that people won't be as pissy since it's the final book in the trilogy but y'know.

I don't know when my post on it will be out, but I'm shooting for before Book Three releases. I'm mostly working on my clouis and violentine essay while I read through Tillie's books. Thanks for the message💚

[rosquinn]

Hi Roski! I have a question, would you mind to help, please?

Okay, so the other when I was wandering through the shelves of my local library I found our that they have a copy of Madeline's Miller Circe... And I was thinking that maybe I should give it a try? 😅

I know that it's not mythology accurate but as long as the plotline is well-written... Idk maybe I will enjoy in spite of it 🤷🏻‍♀️ Do you is it a good idea?

I just wanted to know if you believe is worth the time or nor

Also, same goes for Achilles's song. They don't have it at the library, but I thought that if I enjoyed Circe I should try it to? 🤔

i used to be a huge madelline miller fan *vaguely gestures at her short story about galatea i still have in my bookshelf for some reason* but i realized she, well, uh, sucks

it's not about her writing, (it's excessively "poetic" and decorated in my opinion but that's subjective) it's that her interpretations are kind of. bad?

i'm gonna elaborate under the cut about why i don't like her (long rant and tw for *mentions of s/a*)

-she victimizes her female main character and makes her go through traumatic experiences to erase and excuse all the bad stuff she's done... "circe turned odysseus' men into pigs bc they tried to assault her" yeah. no. she forced odysseus to sleep with her and turned his men into pigs because she felt like it. i understand you want a feminist badass witch but just. no. she isn't a cute uwu unfairly exiled goddess. what she did to odysseus is sexual abuse.

-she apparently hates women that aren't circe. made thetis, i repeat, our thetis, MOTHER thetis, a homophobic and overprotective mom who wants to kill patroclus in SOA for some reason (wasn't she literally the one who sent patroclus to the war with achilles..... miller..aren't you a classics major..). she did to her what other adaptations do to demeter, basically. and for no reason at all. but i guess her cute baby achilles who is doomed by the narrative can't have a nice mom who let him do whatever he wanted to because that would make him RUDE and EVIL and her character(s) can't have bad qualities. she also made achilles's wife, deidameia, who in some versions is raped by him, a “slut that gets in the way of your gay ship” archetype. she also made her rape achilles for some reason??? and that is fucking horrible

-baby-fied patroclus. he speaks like a stupid teenager girl stereotype in soa and is pretty much a useless human being whose entire personality is simping for achilles. that is not him. he DID fight in the trojan war, he was a SKILLED fighter, not a useless twig, he is described as tall and handsome, he healed some warriors, he is SAVAGE, bro literally broke kebriones's head with a rock in front of his brother and made fun of it??? he tried to climb the walls of troy and conquer it by himself??? he told achilles to stop being a bitch and move his ass??? and then in soa he's a useless piece of shit who DIDN'T EVEN FIGHT IN THE WAR, thinks of himself as weak and was thinking about achilles until the moment he died. sorry to break it to you but his last words in the iliad weren't "omg achilles no😥😥". he threw a whole essay at hector about how he didn't kill shit, it was apollo who beat him and hector's about to get dragged. and when his ghost came back to talk to achilles, it was to tell him to STOP CRYING and KILLING PEOPLE and BURN HIS BODY ALREADY. she completely erased his character. sorry.

-glorified achilles wayyy too much. one thing that i hate about her is how she can't let anyone make mistakes. achilles isn't “noble and doomed by the narrative”. he knew pretty well where he was stepping in and didn't give two shits. he literally says in Iliad book 1 he's there for the mass murder, glory and nothing more. “why would i kill hector what has hector ever done to me” MY ASS. he also was kind of an insufferable bitch in the iliad. i'm tired of people making his decision of stop fighting look “heroic/noble/tragic/etc bc agamemnon is evil” because it was not. he stopped fighting for selfish reasons, treated everyone really bad and let his friends die. also, agamemnon isn't “evil” and achilles isn't “good”. they're both war criminals who act like 8 year olds and kidnap women. every achaean character is a bitch, has killed at least 6 people and enjoyed it. yes. even babyboy patroclus (book 16)

-i'm not even saying this as a person with greek ancestry or a pagan, because i am neither, but her depiction of the gods is TERRIBLE. just what is that whole thing of "gods want mortals to fear them so they worship them"??? that's not even how religion works??? gods can be and in fact are very nice to their worshippers?? why would you villainize cultural figures like that?? and why tf it always gotta be a EVIL FEMALE GODDESS trying to fuck up her main character's life for some reason?? athena wants to kill circe's son in circe and i'm pretty sure they don't even interact in the odyssey?? (maybe they did, i don't remember, but if it happened it was definitely NOT because of that) and why is hermes a manipulator?? and why is ODYSSEUS a manipulator??? you literally sexually assaulted him??? HELLO????

idk, it just feels like mc victimization and random female character villainization (she also put the whole blame of the trojan war on helen because she was “vain” and “selfish”??? didn't she spend the whole iliad blaming herself for the war and wishing to die??)

i don't really like it. it's not a good adaptation

also i'm not the best person to expand on this topic because i am not a gay man/mlm/nblm but some people on tumblr have explained why tsoa is basically mlm fetish and wattpad fujoshi looking crap and they do have a point (the relationship is so stereotyped tbh) so i encourage you to read their posts. i don't have them rn but i can dm them to you later if you want

AND finally, most people in her fanbase can't separate a wattpad fanfic (because that's what tsoa is) from the original text and think tsoa and circe are just like what homer wrote. “hector didn't know it was patroclus” HE FUCKING DID PATROCLUS KILLED 20 PEOPLE IN FRONT OF HIM IT'S UNDERSTANDABLE “patroclus died bc he wasn't a skilled warrior” HE HAS THE SECOND HIGHEST KILL COUNT IN THE WHOLE ILIAD AND WAS FULL OF HUBRIS. HE DIED BECAUSE HE TRIED TO FISTFIGHT A GOD “deidameia raped achilles” “thetis is homophobic” “odysseus is evil” “it was all helen's fault” “circe did nothing wrong” “athena is bad” no (and they act like not shipping patrochilles makes you homophobic which is. cmon. i personally think they def had something going on but it's never explicitly stated and you can't act like it is)

ik i got too aggressive but it's just bad imo, if you want to enjoy a good iliad/odyssey adaptation go play hades or listen to epic the musical or even play limbus company because i swear lc's odysseus, a literal old woman who committed identity fraud, is at least 80 times more in character than miller's babyboys

ADDITION: no i'm not going to dismember you for liking tsoa or circe. this is just a personal opinion. enjoy whatever you want i'm just a little guy and i can't stop you. have fun!

[snowyvoid]

I love your haunted siphonophore posting so much it's really good. I think it really fits with how the science team and the game and benrey all sort of play off of each other with Gordon always ending up as the victim/'food' but there's a slight dissonance between all of them. Benrey comes back as a skeleton and for the first night he just walks around and talks like normal until after Gordon wakes up where it seems to become it's own creature that is more tethered to the gamespace (I know it clips out and fucks with geometry but it also feels like it starts to slot into the role of 'spooky skeleton to antagonize and frighten the player' instead of 'benrey is around and talking to people when he's supposed to be dead'). Or how the world seems to bend to fit the insane things the Science Team says (Sunkist, Chuck E Cheese, Passport, etc) but Coomer is still seperate enough from the game that he becomes frightened and angry when he realizes that his world is small and painted. They all kind of group up into one thing, which is basically an elaborate bait and trap for Gordon, but there's tension between the individual pieces and they all have unique perspectives on what's happening despite playing into the same greater thing.

Sorry I'm having a hard time capturing exactly what you meant into this I get what you meant it's just. words are difficult. But your hlvrai thoughts make me insane

no this is like. exactly what i mean. you get it.

the thing about siphonophores is that each component of the organism has its own mouths. like. one component will be the stomach, one will make the organism swim, etc etc, but they all have their own mouths. they all feed.

and there is always this kind of dissonance between gordon and the others, and yes obviously he is the one playing a video game, but i always felt like it went deeper than hostile AI being weirded out by the new guy. it felt more,,, natural?? i guess??? it all feels set up on a stage. aside from the fact that its a game and it is has coded events. the AI, the thing that is suppose to think for itself, still seems kinda. within its own limits. stuck within the body of the facility. (for example, coomer and/or bubby freaking out when they go outside of the skybox/into space).

but the dissonance between the science team and the game/facility is!!! oh my godddd!!!! i could write an essay on that shit. so interesting. and i love that the dissonance is often physically manifested. your hatred towards this thing that you hate is real and will be seen and will affect the world outside you.

like. you have this thing, a large container that has events and ideas that are built into it (the game, the organism as a whole, the haunted house), and there are different components within this container that have some kind of symbiotic relationship (good or bad) with the outside container (black mesa, the individual nervous systems of the organism, the rooms/ghosts/humans haunting* the house), and all of these individual components has a manifestation of its difference or hostility (the science team, the individual mouths, the opinions each component of the haunted house has on each other (i need to make another post about this)).

sorry that was probably really complicated. i just needed to get it out of me because its all ive been thinking about since i made that first post.

*this is within the idea that the hypothetical house is haunted by something. which is generally the idea i go for when in reference to sentient AI, the whole this house had a purpose and it changed, this AI had a code and it was faulty. etc etc. pretty sure ive already posted something about that.

weird little mspaint diagram with some other ideas i have not talked about. note; this is not scientifically accurate to siphonophores. i just thought they were a really good allegory. you are definitely gonna need to zoom in for this thing. but it is important to the explanation i guess.

i just find it really fun to put obvious differences between characters/living things and see where they come together. like the science team, gordon, and benry are all separate beings in their own way but they are like a family. blah. hope you enjoy as always this is a bit messy.

[eenadu-varthalu]

Okay, review of Ponniyin Selvan 2 incoming (whether you like it or not) (and again, this is my personal opinion about the movie so please don’t kill me if you don’t agree).

I don’t know what to say. I really don’t. *proceeds to write essay*

Is it a good movie? Yes, hell yes, 100%

But will I be religiously rewatching this like I did part one? Maybe not.

Part 2 is a different vibe than part one. Like a complete script flip. It's a different movie (I guess one can figure that out from how different the album of the second movie is to the first). The drama (more like angst, ngl) amongst the characters is intensified while the story just seems to be something running in the background. We learn a lot more about some of the characters-- we see a different side to them: let it be the vulnerable side of Nandini or a more humanized form of Adhitha. Some of the prominent questions from part 1 are answered in part 2 (point to note: we are given the backstory of adhita and nandini which I think is a fantastic addition) but yeah I still don’t really know how to clearly explain this movie. It’s like one of those pieces of art that you have to see to cherish, to understand why people are going crazy about it.

There are moments that just make you want to go “what the actual hell” but there are others where you’re just sitting there, with your mouth wide open and/or tears welling up in your eyes. And it does not help that oftentimes this movie becomes a pendulum between these feelings.

The acting and the actors are a saving grace. Everyone is PERFECTLY cast and the scenes are such that even if there is a small hiccup, it's going to look like a big joke. The chemistry the cast has with each other is insane. Off the charts. (and I'm coining this right now, Chiyan Vikram, Aishwarya Rai, and Karthi are going to SWEEP all the awards). The scenes between the lovers, let it be kundavai and vanthiyadevan or nandini and adhitha is some of the best acting I have seen.

The music is also another savior in disguise. Let it be the first 10 minutes of the movie with the three songs back to back, or let it be using Veera Raja Veera on three separate occasions to highlight three different moments in the movie-- Rahman really killed it with this one (although I am a bit disappointed that NONE of the songs were used in their entirety— someone pull the editor out of the editing room asap).

The cinematography? *chefs kiss* Give Ravi Varman a National Award right now.

I think the most disappointing aspect for me is that Mani sir was never really given the chance to fully explore the characters, the themes, the subplots, or just the book in general. Don’t get me wrong, this is one of the most genuine book-to-movie adaptations I’ve seen and although Mani Ratnam was insistent that Ponniyin Selvan is something that truly deserves to be on the big screen, I think it would’ve worked absolute wonders if it were a series. I would totally not be opposed to a director's cut (trust me I will watch it even if it ends up being a seven-hour movie) if it gives us an opportunity to see Mani sir's strengths and the usual magic in his other films shine through more because the restriction of time is taken out.

[fancy-feast-official]

instead of doing anything normal (like taking ibuprofen for my headache) i just spent the past four hours of my life writing an essay on why manfred von karma is abusive. kind of proud of it ngl.

also i tagged all quotes from the original post i'm talking about to their actual [user].tumblr.com site which has really bright colors fyi. i'll link the tumblr.com/[user] site at the end of the essay if bright colors don't work for you. also if ppl start sending me hate i'm just gonna block them.

In a Tumblr post by Wendy/Jessie Rose Rocket (referred to from here on as Wendy) on their interpretation of Manfred von Karma (MvK) in the Ace Attorney series, they argue that there is little canon evidence that MvK could have ever abused his children.[1] This however, is not the case, as there are various examples which they cite themselves that include traits of emotional abuse, including a hyper-controlling nature, manipulation, and invalidation of the victim’s feelings.

Before I get into the various examples given in the original post which indicate emotional abuse, I will say that I am not going to attack the more personal aspects of this argument, nor do I wish to attack any people who believe that MvK is not an abuser. I only want to look at the facts of his characterization and dissect the argument itself. Ignoring or overwriting the signs of emotional abuse in fictional characters can pose some threat to real people – if they’ll excuse emotional manipulation in fiction, they may be willing to excuse when they themselves are emotionally manipulated. I also think that it is misleading for Wendy to state that they are alright with abuse victims writing MvK as an abuser, before spending several hundred words explaining why they don’t think that MvK is an abuser, and that Ace Attorney fans are wrong in interpreting him that way.

Also, I will mention that both my own essay and the original post are triggered somewhat by the Filter Bubble Effect,[2] where content filtering and selection leads to a person only seeing one opinion or viewpoint. Wendy mentions that, while they see differing viewpoints on MvK on Tumblr, Twitter, and AO3, they do not see interpretations of him as abusive on other sites. I personally disagree with this statement as entirely factual, as before this post was made I had never seen interpretations of MvK as anything other than abusive. There is likely a split between these two interpretations, and I’m not willing to hazard a guess as to percentages in each camp.

With all that said, Wendy also mentions that both Miles Edgeworth (Edgeworth) and Franziska von Karma (Franziska) are “incredibly queer & nd coded.”[3] This is somewhat untrue. Both Edgeworth and Franziska are written as stuffy, calculating, and believing themselves to be entirely logical. While these are considered traits of neurodivergency, it is stated within the canon of the games that these traits have been trained in them by MvK. There’s an argument to be made on nurture versus nature (especially in the case of Edgeworth), but for the purposes of my argument I am going to say that this is more due to their upbringings than anything else.

While Edgeworth is somewhat queer-coded, it is only really present as a joke (Implications that Edgeworth isn’t aware that women find him attractive[4]), or because of his relationship with Phoenix Wright.[5] Franziska is not queer coded, though she is written as somewhat masculine compared to other female characters. This characterization is more a result of her being a female version of MvK and Edgeworth, and less to do with any alleged queerness.

The first piece of evidence which Wendy gives, under the context that it is “the one single piece of evidence that team fanfred brings to the table,”[6] are three lines from  Ace Attorney Investigations, both in the fourth case. The first is a conversation between Franziska and  MvK,

Franziska: Papa! You’ll come and watch my courtroom debut next, won’t you?

Manfred: Hmm… I’ll consider it.[7]

This conversation is rather innocuous, though it shows that MvK can be dismissive of his children at times. The more damning line is the second one which Wendy includes, where MvK says to Edgeworth, “A worthless person like you has no right to claim such a thing as perfection!”[8] This is one of many examples of MvK expecting nothing but perfection from both of his children. An expectation of perfection leads to Franziska and Edgeworth doubting themselves, and feeling worthless.[9] MvK places high importance on perfection, leading to his care for his children being conditional, reliant on their ability to be perfect.[10] Among other things, instilling self-doubt and worthlessness, and making acceptance or care conditional are signs that someone is being emotionally abusive.[11]

MvK is shown in various media to have a constant need for perfection and control of everything around him. in Ace Attorney Investigations, he manipulates aspects of cases so that he is guaranteed to win,[12] something he also does in “Turnabout Goodbyes.” It is completely reasonable that, when his own protégé does not display this inhuman perfection, he would be upset and lash out, as he does in the above example. Wendy notes that the word used in the original exchange, 半人前, does not translate to “worthless,” but instead to “an amateur / someone without experience.”[13] This, of course, is much more accurate to the context of their situation, but stating that the translation must have been made in bad faith is besides the point. There is no reason that MvK should be putting such high expectations for perfection on someone who, in real life, would not even have finished college yet. While it does not hold much weight as evidence for my own argument, it holds very little weight for their argument as well. However, it is important to cover this exchange, as they believe it is the only evidence a so-called “Fanfred” might be able to find indicating an abusive characterization.

Wendy continues on by listing the many ways in the anime that MvK is shown to be a good father. While they can be seen as evidence that he is not abusive, abusers can be nice to their victims, for a myriad of reasons. This can be done for any number of reasons, including: Bolstering the abusers image to the victim or outsiders, or to convince themselves they are a good person; As a manipulation tactic; And because the abuser is in the recovery phase of the abuse cycle.[14] I am going to focus on the former of these two reasons, as they are more likely in the von Karma situation. 

The most striking of the initial examples from the anime is Edgeworth’s statement that “he considers [MvK] the only person who was there for him after his father died.”[15] While this can seem like a positive thing, it is important to note that MvK very clearly isolated Edgeworth from his friends by moving him out of his house, away from his friends (who are not provided with any information as to why he’s gone). Social isolation is a tactic of abuse, used to tether a victim to their abuser so that they are more reliant on them.[16] The next examples of MvK complying with Franziska’s demands in an effort to make Edgeworth smile after he first moves in with them could be an example of him wanting to cheer Edgeworth up after the death of his father (who, I will remind you, was killed by MvK). However, this could have underlying motives, where MvK wants Edgeworth to open up to him, so that he might have more control over him. By killing Gregory Edgeworth, and raising his son to be as ruthless as himself, MvK takes care of the “curse” that he believes the Edgeworths to be.[17]

In the anime, MvK reacts rather calmly to Edgeworth’s first ever defeat during “Turnabout Samurai.” Wendy states that he seems “perplexed,” but is not in any way “cruel and unusual” what he says during that conversation.[18] Taken out of the context of MvK’s behavior, this is plausible. However, over the 15 years that he raised Edgeworth, he emphasized perfection over all else. Edgeworth’s reaction to losing is so negative because of MvK’s influences on his ideas of self-worth. In the conversation, MvK also advises Edgeworth to not have feelings, invalidating any feelings that Edgeworth might have about the cases he works on, feelings which can be necessary in determining the truth.

I agree with Wendy that MvK is, as they put it “a despicable fucking human being.”[19] In “Turnabout Goodbyes” alone, he:

Commits aggravated assault, including assault against a minor

Steals and tampers with evidence

Engages in conspiracy to commit murder, and is shown to have committed murder himself

Frames two people for murders that he was involved in

Due to his propensity for physical violence, it is no stretch to assume that he is physically violent with his own family members.[20] Even if he is not physically abusive, it has been shown time and time again that he emotionally abuses his children, and even despite that they look up to him. It is not uncommon for an abuse victim to love or care for their abuser. This can lead to blaming oneself for the abuse, and normalizing the abuse that is happening.[21] The reactions that Wendy wants to see in fics are plausible reactions for abusive victims to have when their abuser dies. It is possible for someone to understand they are being abused and yet still love the person doing the abusing.

Now, the lead poisoning business. Yes, it is possible for someone to get lead posioning from a bullet wound.[22] This is a plausible excuse for MvK’s behavior in later years, however, his tendency towards manipulation and hyper-control are present in “The Inherited Turnabout,” before he’s shot.[23] While lead poisoning does cause irritability, it also causes memory difficulties,[24] something that would hinder MvK’s ability to write his detailed plan for payback which he sends to Yanni Yogi.[25] This removes any plausible deniability for MvK in the murder of Robert Hammond – he very clearly knew what he was doing, and knew the consequences, which is why he tried to frame Edgeworth and Yogi. In a real court of law, he would be competent to stand trial for his crimes.

In conclusion, while he is not explicitly shown to physically abuse his children, Manfred von Karma canonically emotionally abuses his children, forcing them to adhere to his strict sense of perfection and morality. When both Franziska and Edgeworth fail to live up to his impossible standards, they doubt their own abilities and self-worth. Excusing this behavior in any person could lead to people not realizing that they’re being abused, and therefore having more difficulty getting out of abusive situations. It’s alright to like MvK as a character, but deliberately overlooking his abusive tendencies is to overlook a major part of his character, and his relationship with Edgeworth and Franziska.

"I'm Going to Change Your Mind About Manfred Von Karma"

[acescorazon]

Hiiii not really a question, just wanted to say that I discovered your fics recently on Ao3 and they're all my absolute favourite since then, I'm always looking forward to receiving an email saying that you posted something!!! I just joined Tumblr today and I have no idea how it works ahah but I'm so glad I can follow you there now, because you truly are one of my fav fic writers. Your Buggy is always absolutely perfect and he did not help with my obsession over his character eheh. Anyway, thank you for your good work, and know that the way you write Buggy influences me a lot on how I perceive him and how he acts in my AU (not actually writing anything, just creating little world in my head eheh). Oh and also: it's thanks to you that I now ship Buggy with Mihawk and Crocodile! Since I've only seen the live action, I didn't really know enough about Mihawk and, obviously, nothing about Crocodile; but because of your fics I now ship them SO much. Thanks to you, Buggy has 3 boyfriends in my AU and he's very glad ahah. Anyway, it's a long message for nothing but I guess the most important thing here is: thank you, keep your amazing work <3

I'M ABOUT TO WRITE THE SHIT OUT OF THIS RESPONSE.

Hiiiiiiii bbyyy :((( Thank you for writing me something so nice! I really appreciate it!!! Nice comments and asks like these really make my day and i mean that!! Thank you!!! Tumblr is shit (derogatory) but it could be worse, it could be tw- Jk it's not that bad here and i think you'll like it :) Also ofc thank you for the follow :) Thank you for everything really! I could write an essay on Buggy alone but i won't...not today at least kljlsdjksdjlakjsdasdas. nobody asked but i'm obsessed with the idea of Buggy being a brat and or just a little shit in general which is why i often write him the way i do LMAO. He's a funny little guy, and i love him in the live action as much as i love him in the anime/manga but i think he could be a little more pathetic. i do remember seeing the trailer tho and being like "lol" but two seconds later being like..."Idk...WHY'S HE KINDA..." LMAOOOOO. i don't know if you write or draw but if you do, then you should cook something up. ((We support and encourage others in this household.)) also bestie. B E S T IE. Best friend. i ain't telling you how to live your life but if you have access to the Shounen Jump app wherever you live and you got 2.99 (some of us don't, no hate here.) and if you got some time, then i recommend you read a little story called one piece LMAOOOO. I ain't one of those people who will tell you it gets good in ch/ep 80938423984023984023948 lol. i've liked it since the beginning but thats ME. You ain't gotta read or watch all of that shit to know if something's good and if you like it lmao, or at least that's how i feel. anyways it seems like it takes 80 years to get through but that's really only bc of the pacing in the anime lol, it comes out weekly and ofc the animation studio wouldn't want to catch up with the actual manga sooooo they act a lil sily in terms of pacing LMAO. it's still that bitch in my opinion though, but that's my opinion and you can see that it has 1000+ episodes and be like ..."i aint watching all that shit." LMAO FAIR. IT'S GOOD THO. BOTH THE ANIME AND MANGA ARE GOOD!!! and they both have their pros and cons when it comes to consuming them. ANYWAYYYYYYS. yeah if you have like, time, 2.99, And the shounen jump app is available wherever you are (also u can go to like Viz's official website and your shounen jump subscription will carry through there too :) ) THEN I HIGHLY RECOMMEND THE PIECE!!! (btw you can read 100 chs A DAY of op or they have other mangas too bby YEEEEEE) or if you have time then i also recommend watching the anime its... it's that bitch, i don't know. If you do end up liking it then netflix can help you take a nice bite out of the series, there's also like funimation/crunchyroll... or... *whispers* there are other...ways...to watch the anime....*whispers* ...are you a cop? LMAOOOOOO.

It's really good though with a whole bunch of lovable characters that the live-action doesn't even begin to be able to get into. you didn't ask, you didn't ask, but me personally, my favorite arc is Alabasta, which is the place they should be going to next season in the live action!! it also introduces one of my favorite little villains: Crocodile!!! idk i love it and i love him LOLLLL which i shouldn't bc he's...he's not a good man but i'm 26 i'm allowed to like toxic anime men, i've earned that right. (also you can like things and criticize them/acknowledge their flaws.) ANYWAYS, ANYWAYS, I'M RAMBLING, but yeah, it's good eating, and i highly suggest you get into the actual series if you liked the live action because the series itself is more in depth. Plus, P L U S, there's more Mihawk, Crocodile, and Buggy content AND THATS A WIN TO ME. lajsldajskdajsdlasjd. it's fun and as an added bonus there's a sense of community and you can always come back here and scream your thoughts to me (and everyone else) if you like it. Like i'm honored by your compliments but nothing i write could ever compare to the actual series itself LOLLLLL.

ANYWAYS THANKS SO MUCH!!!! ILYYYYY!!! I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY, A GOOD WEEK, A GOOD YEAR!!!!!!!!!! MUAH!!!!!

[hungergameshyperfixation]

I HAVE SO MANY THOUGHTS I don’t know where to begin.

Spoilers below the Read More sign!!!

Okay so we were all right about the purple. That made perfect sense. Idk if I posted this somewhere, if it’s in a draft/document somewhere, or what but I strongly subscribe to the color symbolism theories. In MY opinion I think there are a lot of ways the color purple can be interpreted here; I remember when I was younger, I was taught that “purple represented royalty,” which I kind of later internalized to mean something else but regardless. I’m not going to google/look too into it right now, but to my best memory purple represents/can represent wealth, high society ideals, arguably the bourgeoisie…? (ty autocorrect) But it also is, in our conventional knowledge, the “mix” of red and blue; I think the wealth association and the whole dichotomy that’s associated with purple is REALLY fitting here. I’ll get to this later, but the entire cover in my opinion represents dichotomy.

Also I do not mean I literally subscribe to color symbolism actually playing a large role in IRL things—I don’t care about it that much LMAO; I just meant that in fiction, I can really get into the ideas of over analyzing the color and their meanings (So “yes, the curtain really was just blue, but also I’d love to read an essay about how it’s a metaphor for sadness” that kinda thing).

Another thing about the cover color wise is of course the gold, which I figured would be present. It is a near constant on the cover, with the exception of Mockingjay I think. Plus, as I kinda hope to get into, it’s following in the footsteps of TBOSAS (both in the timeline of the narrative, and from our timeline perspective.

Regarding my point about the circles—as much as i hate to admit it, I don’t think that a lot of the cover design is like intentionally crafted with the goal of perfectly aligning EVERY little element with the story. But, as I might’ve shared before, I do fully believe that doesn’t stop people from interpreting/drawing connections to things (even if they weren’t intentional? Does that make sense? I’m literally writing this entirely off the cuff, just straight up typing). BUT back to the circles: YALL IT’S NOT EVEN A CIRCLE IT’S LIKE A HALF CIRCLE. It almost looks like it’s taking the shape of a…sunrise.

Also not to say that I kinda ate up my very rushed cover post last night, but I was right about a couple things—at least I’d say I was. I definitely am not the only one though, I think a lot of people thought what I thought and probably have made MUCH better cover analysis pieces. TBH a lot of the cover was easy to “guess,” only in the sense that this is the fifth installment of a book series that has generally consistent book covers (except for one specific part on this one…spoiler alert: the centerpiece)

I will say, there are multiple ways to interpret the elements on the cover, which I REALLY like.

NOW, onto arguably one of the more interesting is the mockingjay and the snake. I HAVE SO MUCH TO SAY. Maybe I’ll save that for a follow up post because I wanna get this one off my chest.

[thistleation]

I’m so obsessed with your eldritch space fic, I just can’t get it out of my head! I swear I catch myself thinking about it at least once per day. It’s got me really wanting to finally get into sci-fi media again and I’m wondering if you happen to have any recommendations?

Oh wow.

Damn.

Okay well first of all, holy shit, thank you!

I knew BoSaS was well liked by a handful of people, but until now I didn't think anyone besides me belonged in the "thinks about it daily category" 😭💖

As for sci-fi recs... well this is going to be a bit scattershot.

I've honestly not really kept up with recent sci-fi due to over a decade of major depression and not having my shit together, and I'm not a huge fan of a lot of the sci-fi that comes out these days in visual media, so I'm trying to make some time to read some of the sci-fi stories of recent years, but again, that's a work in progress, so can't really rec much in that regard.

First things first though, if you like Beyond our Space and Starlight, I absolutely have to rec luminous beings by @daisychainsandbowties .

It's warrior nun, it's star wars, it's got the suffering and the crying and the patented Cas poetic beauty amid the despair. It's SO fucking good and if you've not read it (and its companion pieces in the same setting) you absolutely gotta.

And also before I go any further, shouting out the Bifrost Incident which @the-darkness-does-not-bargain so kindly introduced me to. (don't look up anything about it, just listen). I assume that the main motivation behind you asking is something along the lines of "what kind of sci-fi was the inspiration behind this?" To which I'd have to say it's a mix that's a little eclectic and mainly old.

But let's talk about them because why not:

First off, the biggest influence is probably the original Star Wars trilogy, with dashes of the prequel trilogy.

I could write an essay about this, but I guess I could condense my opinion on Star Wars (and its relation to BoSaS) very simplified into something like: "Yes! You SHOULD bring swords and myth/magic into sci-fi... no, not quite like that!"

Rogue One brought it back and did it pretty well. (Only truly good recent Star Wars movie) I'd also draw from other sci-fi classics like the original Alien movies, the first two Terminators and Blade Runner.

Not to be all "the original is always better," but I feel like an issue with a lot of modern sci-fi is that the setting is too effaced, it lacks story and it's just a vehicle for spectacle. I like sci-fi stories where space is BIG and scary, and being on a ship surrounded by millions upon millions of miles of vacuum, utterly hostile to life? That should feel a little claustrophobic! Or at least occasionally unsettling.

If you hit the original movies, you're more likely to catch more of the vibe of the setting itself being an important character in the story, which to me is an essential aspect of my favourite kind of sci-fi content.

Okay this is getting long, let's go over the rest faster.

Ghost in the Shell

The original movie and the Stand Alone Complex (second season especially).

This is probably one of my biggest formative experiences on my "didn't realize they were trans at the time" adolescent brain.

High concept, transhumanism, guns, fast action, and enough of a spiritual/philosophical vibe to keep it from getting bland.

Then in a similar vein of physical dissociation and occasional body horror, but you want it to be even more fucked up?

Battle Angel Alita/Gunnm

The original run in particular. This along with Ghost in the Shell was what shaped my interest in sci-fi around my adolescence. I liked how both weren't afraid to introduce philosophical, almost spiritual and mythological elements to their futuristic stories.

Ghost in the Shell especially is like, the powers of mythical creatures, achieved through technology, and it leans into that and so you get an almost spiritual experience as an end result.

This story gets fucked up at times, but it's beautiful and heart wrenching all the same.

Prey

In contrast to my "watch the originals" statement of earlier, this is a recent predator movie that's actually good.

Thorgal

Okay this one isn't sci-fi, but I'm adding it to the list because this takes my love of adding magical/fantasy elements to sci-fi, but from the other direction: a story of a viking outcast, featuring gods and mythical creatures, but ALSO sci-fi elements as the lead character is of a race of spacefaring human(oids?)

Again, the first 20-odd books especially.

A powerhouse of the classic Franco-Belgian comics, nothing quite like it.

It's getting late and this is getting long, if any mutuals wanna tag on their recs for weird and not-so-weird sci-fi, please feel free.

[sable-skies]

QUICK -while that Anon is incapacitated from being hit with TWO Voltron mentions- TALK EVEN MORE ABOUT VOLTRON!

Your biggest issues with the show! Wasted potential! And of course the biggest piece of Drama; SHIPS?!?!??

We will never get proper closure. We all share Voltron trauma ✌️😔

the people yearn for a five hour video essay talking about why voltron sucks. (I've literally wanted to make one for Years about it but alas, life happens)

i cant do that yet because of my schedule, but I will give you a snippet on some of my thoughts

Forgive me, for I am about to yap like I'm a fucking professor in the subject, got my master's years ago and all it did was give me fandom trauma (/lh, but there's a reason why I don't join fandom discords anymore or anything like that!) so strap in my brother (gender neutral)

I WILL ADDRESS THIS FIRST: Ships. I actually never shipped anything in VLD! No offense to Klance, but I never really got the appeal? And obviously there's that Other Super Popular one that I'm not gonna name because it's fans are gonna kill me, but I didn't like that one either.

For Klance; I think I never got it because I just. never considered them love interests? Like I would see people losing their minds over it and my (at the time, unknown) aroace ass would just slow blink at them like "yeah man i guess. what?". Could it have been good? Maybe, but it was never the horse I backed personally. I will say, some of the content that came from that ship was absolutely phenomenal though, never doubt what yaoi-obsessed teenagers can do.

I won't say much more on the fandom tbh, but trust me I saw some shit. This blog wasn't around back then but I witnessed some things. Remember the socks? I do.

Moving onto the actual show itself, I actually rewatched at least the first season (and half of the second) because a few friends and I were talking about it again and I wanted to try and get some notes for that video essay I'm totally going to do, and I realized that from the get-go the show was absolutely fucked worldbuilding wise.

I'm a big worldbuilding nerd, I never share my various insane projects but I literally make a new google document every week with ideas for various stories I would love to tell. Worldbuilding is such an essential part to telling a good story and having a believable world, and upon rewatching at least season 1, there's some loose foundation set but then completely butchered by season 3.

I will be honest, people always say that season 4 was the worst, and I will agree it did suck, but in my opinion season 3 was the worst for me. I absolutely hated that they started to switch lions, which I understand is a reference to the original 80s show, but it completely disregarded one of the lines in the FIRST EPISODE about how a bond between a lion and it's pilot is scared, cannot be forced, and is a rare thing. only for that to get thrown out the window. AUGH.

I'm a firm black paladin allura believer personally, I think that would have been so much fun seeing her step into the leadership role she pretty much had from the start alongside Shiro! (Never shipped them for anyone worried, they're just really good friends)

Speaking of friends; I don't think the show really established the team's overall bond well enough. Looking back, there's nothing in the show that promises found family friendships and all that, but the showrunners said that would be the case, and I think they were the biggest reason the show failed. (more on that later)

Sin Squad once said in one of their videos that everyone on the team felt more like co-workers and honestly? I still agree on that sentiment. I can believe that Pidge and Hunk are friends, I can believe that Keith and Shiro have a familial bond, I can believe that Hunk and Lance are friends. But Keith and Pidge? Hunk and Shiro? Hunk and Allura? There are so many potential really good friendships that are completely ignored in favor of other established bonds, and I think it makes the whole "we gotta work as a team!" message a lot weaker because of it. They're all co-workers at best, "strangers forced to be friends under the worst circumstances" at worst (shout out to keith for that line, he was actually spitting)

Additionally, and this is just because I'm still a big Keith head at heart (when I was 15 I wanted to go by that name because I was so attached to him. its funny looking back), I really dislike how they treated his character? In season 1 he didn't get much development, but we got the hints of him being half-galra, and I loved that! Season 2 really built on him and S2 E8 "Blades of Mamora" is still my favorite episode. I love that one with my whole fucking heart. Oh my god.

But then season 3 hit, forced him into a leader positions I don't think he ever grew into, and then his. mom. came back. Don't get me wrong, I love Krolia (big fan of women), but all of Keith's angst being cured by spending a few space whale years with his mom continues to completely disregard the bonds he made with his team. And Keith isn't the only one who suffers from this, everyone does.

I understand family is an important bond (despite the fact that I keep many of my personal family members at arms length, for reasons) but every character only got a "complete" arc or ending when they were reunited with their blood family, not the "found family" that the showrunners promised. Pidge's only arc was finding her family, sure there was the stuff about nature and coding being similar but that was for a single episode. Hunk only got development again post season 1 when it was about his family being enslaved. Lance only ever wanted to see his family again, and then he never got an arc past that except for his dead space girlfriend. Shiro never even got an explanation for his family past his totally-boyfriend Adam.

SPEAKING OF ADAM

I will say that I disagree with the fandom's opinion that the entire show queerbaited with Klance. I think you had to have Klance-sized glasses on to see that. The show truly did queerbait with Adam though, with promoting and hyping him up for season 7, only for him to barely get a minute of screen time. Actually such a waste of time, and such a waste of an interesting character. Voltron writers and showrunners when i GET YOU.

A final note I'll make because I'll never stop writing otherwise: there was some discussion about whether or not the show's failure was the writers, showrunners, or executives fault. I personally think it was the showrunners who were at fault here. She-Ra came out the same year VLD ended, and it soared in terms of worldbuilding, storytelling, and queer representation.

For She-Ra to come out around 2018, I imagine these shows started development around the same time (Did you ever realize VLD only had a 2 year run time? 75 episodes in 2 years? I did and it made me upset.) They were probably working with same executives, under the same people, same deadlines, etc. She-Ra succeeded (i think), and VLD fell apart and crashed at the end. Hell, in the final year it was airing they were STILL in the storyboard process. I think the showrunner's either majorly mishandled the production of this show, or they were given shit terms and didn't do anything to make something of it. Either way, Lauren Montgomery and Joaqium Dos Santos I will remember your names forever because of it

(On a serious note, I don't actually dislike or hate them. I'm just disappointed in what happened is all)

Anyways that barely like. scratches the surface of many more issues I have with the show, but those are some of the major problems I saw in it!

And for some more positive notes: I love the ost of the episode where Allura's AI-father dies, it still sticks with me even now. (i ugly sobbed at that episode I'm sensitive to parental death), and Keith is still my beloved meow meow, I love him so much I miss him. Steven Yuen the GOAT. I also loved the concept of these bio-mechanical lions, they could've gone a bit more cosmic horror eldritch with them, but it's still good regardless.

shoutout btw to my friends who sat in call with me as I typed this like a madman.