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bombshellsandbluebells · 5 years ago

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The 100 Fic: Malware (1/3)

Summary: Just a few months into Spacekru’s stay in space, the Ring begins to malfunction and life support systems start failing. Spacekru needs to learn to work together quickly if they want to live. If they don’t, the very place that had been their salvation just might kill them.

Relationships: Canon relationships hinted at; Spacekru focus

Other tags: space thriller, the ark is not safe, incorrect space science probably

because why finish my wips when I can start a NEW fic because I’m terrible at that

(read on ao3)

Part I: Program Failure

Two months after they arrive in space, the lights flicker off without warning, and the Ring plunges into sudden darkness. Even the emergency light strips running along the hallway floors fail. Without the lights, and with only the darkness of space coming in through the windows, the Ring falls into a darkness so complete and impenetrable it seems to seep into the residents’ very skin.

Inside the room that hosts the algae farm, Monty, Harper, and Murphy halt. Harper, halfway through cleaning the filter inside the algae tank, freezes, afraid to damage it accidentally. Murphy waves a hand in front of his own face; it’s impossible to see, even just inches away from his eyes.

“Well, that’s not good,” he mutters and hears Monty’s answering snort from somewhere to his left.

“I hope they don’t stay off for long,” Harper says, her annoyance almost palpable. “I can’t move.”

“Neither can we,” Murphy says. “I can’t see a damn thing. I’d run into a wall if I tried.”

“You’re not stuck with your hand in the algae tank,” she snaps. She’s gotten used to digging around in it, but it’s far less enjoyable when she can’t see or move. The algae floats gently in the water, occasionally brushing up against her hand; without her sight, the sensation is startling every time. The hair on the back of her neck stands on end. She tries to carefully pull it free, but it bumps up against something and she falls still immediately, filled with panic. This is their only food source; she can’t risk it.

It’s as if Monty knows that Murphy is opening his mouth for a comeback – and in all likelihood, he does, considering Murphy and Harper’s daily arguments have become almost routine at this point – because he quickly interjects. “I’m sure Raven’s going to fix it now.”

“How the hell is she going to get there?” Murphy asks. No one answers him for a moment. The visual of Raven stumbling blindly down the hallway, running into walls and tripping over hidden obstacles, is all too easy to picture.

“Surely someone has a light of some sort,” Harper offers slowly, then shrugs, despite the fact that no one can see it. The other two hum in agreement. Neither of them sound very convinced.

But there’s nothing they can do to help – there’s nothing they can do at all but wait.

The silence that falls between the three is uncomfortable, made even worse by the utter darkness. Murphy fumbles with his jacket sleeve just for something to do, and the shuffling of the fabric is loud in the quiet room. The sudden blindness is irritating enough, but the ever-present tension between him and his current company grows worse without a job to focus on. He’s sure Harper and Monty’s silence is only because of his presence in the room; they’d probably have preferred to be trapped without him around. He can’t say he blames them; he still doesn’t really get along with either of them on the best days, and there’s no one he really wants to get trapped in the dark with other than Emori – who, incidentally, is the only one here he absolutely trusts not to jump him with his back turned.

“How much light does the algae need?” he asks, partially due to real worry, but mostly just to break the silence.

“More than this,” Monty answers. “But it can handle not having any for a little bit. I’ll start getting worried if they stay off for a couple hours.”

No one has to say they hope it doesn’t take that long, but Harper mutters, “They better not,” under her breath anyway.

Luckily, it doesn’t. After forty minutes of stilted conversation – topics ranging from how much they miss real food to what might be happening in the bunker – the lights flicker back on. The three of them blink into the sudden brightness, their eyes re-adjusting slowly.

Harper carefully pulls her hand free from the filter and out of the tank. The skin is pruny from the water. She shakes it dry.

“Well, that sucked,” Murphy voices, and the other two murmur their agreement. “Let’s hope that doesn’t happen again.”

Bellamy is mending a pair of pants when the lights fail a second time. In the sudden darkness, he loses track of the needle and pricks his finger, then swears at the unexpected jolt of pain. Blindly, he drops the pants on the table in front of him and pulls his hand away, not wanting to get blood on the fabric, even if the wound is small and barely bleeding. It’s hard enough to wash clothing on the Ring; it’s nearly impossible to remove stains.

He’s sitting in what’s generally become known as the common area, where the seven of them sporadically gather during free time or for meals. Unfortunately, he’d been the only one present when the lights went out, and loneliness is quick to settle in beside the darkness.

For a few minutes, Bellamy waits in silence and weighs his options. Then, with a sigh, he pushes himself out of his seat and stumbles forward. He walks carefully towards where he believes the door to be, hands outstretched in front of him to avoid a concussion. The cold metal of the Ark walls brushes against his outstretched palms, and he feels along it until he finds the door.

He keeps his right hand on the wall as he makes his way through the hallway, trailing it along the walls so he has some sense of where he is. The darkness in the Ring is terrifying; Bellamy doesn’t think that he’s ever experienced a darkness so absolute before. There had always been some source of light aboard the Ark no matter the time, and even Earth at night had the moon and stars. This utter blackness is completely new and horrible; it makes him feel vulnerable and powerless.

After a few months aboard the Ring, he’s managed to form a complete mental map of the place. He’d never known Go-Sci Ring well when he lived on the Ark, since there had never been much reason for him to go there, so he’d made a habit of walking the halls and taking note of the place that would be their home for the next five years.

After all, supplies and resources are the difference between survival and death. It was crucial they take note of what they had available to them, and, if Bellamy was going to keep all of them alive until they could reach Earth again, it was important that he knew every inch of their new home. Survival is a team sport, of course – he knows it doesn’t lie entirely on his shoulders, but he can’t help feel responsible for the people he convinced to head back into space with him. It had been his idea to go get Raven that had landed them all here.

And he can’t let anything happen to anyone – not after – well. He shakes his head to clear his thoughts and knock the guilt away. It clings stubbornly anyways, as it always does.

Memorizing the Ring seems to be coming in handy now, at least. For the most part, he can remember which hallways to take even if he can’t see them – but it’s still slow going. At one point, he realizes he must have gone too far without turning and has to double back until he locates the hallway he needs with his hand.

Eventually, there is light up ahead, standing out like a beacon. As the shapes of the walls begin to take shape, Bellamy quickens his pace towards the light.

The system control room is lit by a multitude of computer screens. It’s a dim light, but it seems bright in the darkness. Raven stands in front of the screens, illuminated by the glow, eyes trained on the lines and lines of code scrolling by, her brow wrinkled with concentration, hands hovering hesitantly over the keys. She doesn’t look up as he enters the room.

“How’d you get here so fast?” he asks, because he’s amazed one of them made it here without hurting themselves, let alone two of them.

Raven waves a hand distractedly to her left where a tablet sits on the table beside her. “I always keep it with me. It took me too long to find this room last time. It’d be better if we had flashlights, but it works.” She worries at her lip with her teeth, eyes narrowing at something hidden within the code. All of it looks like nonsense to Bellamy.

He comes to stand beside her and studies her out of the corner of his eyes. It’s easy to read the exhaustion and stress lining her face, and he wishes he could help her carry the burden of repairing the Ring somehow. Monty can help her with the machinery, especially now that his hands are healed, but Raven’s the only one who can understand the various computer systems keeping everything running. Her time with ALIE had some benefits, at least.

“Any idea what’s wrong?”

Raven doesn’t reply, but he gets his answer in the way her face hardens.

Without warning, she slams a hand against the table beside her; the resulting bang echoes loudly through the room. Bellamy jumps, startled.

Raven breathes heavily. “I can’t read code the way I used to,” she admits quietly, like a dirty secret, voice straining between clenched teeth. “There’s whole sections I can’t even understand.”

It’s a lot like forgetting how to speak a foreign language you once knew, Raven thinks – like when her abuelita died and her mother stopped speaking Spanish completely and the words gradually faded from her mind, bit by bit, every year. She still has some of the vocab, and she can remember the basic structure, but she can’t speak it fluently like she could when she had the chip. Every day she seems to forget a little more.

“If I still had ALIE in my head,” she starts.

“You’d be dead,” Bellamy interrupts. It’s a simple answer, as if it isn’t the complicated thing she’s made it out to be – as if she doesn’t spend hours debating if the threat of death due to ALIE’s code was worth the knowledge it gave her.

Back on Earth, she hadn’t thought so. Anything was worth not dying, right? But here in space, when their very lives might depend on it, ALIE’s code seems so much more tempting; she almost feels regretful for destroying it.

“But I’d know what’s happening.” She wants to cry. Or scream. Her frustration grows inside her like a wild animal, vicious and untamed.

“That’s not worth your life, Raven.”

“If the Ark is malfunctioning, it might cost everyone their lives,” she snaps. She wants to be angry at something besides herself; Bellamy’s just an easy target.

He doesn’t take it to heart. Instead, he places a reassuring hand on her shoulder, and Raven can’t help but think Bellamy is a better friend than she is. She feels guilty for that too.

“You’ll figure it out.” His voice rings with certainty. She wishes she could believe him, but optimism grows harder and harder for her to grasp, disappearing beneath the pile of problems the Ark throws at them. She’d promised them safety on the Ring, but she’s terrified she won’t be able to deliver. After escaping Grounders and Mountain Men and Praimfiya, is her incompetence going to be what kills her friends?

After almost an hour, the lights flicker back on by themselves, just as they had the last time, and Raven isn’t any closer to understanding why.

The third time almost goes completely unnoticed. It’s what passes for nighttime aboard the Ring, and, in a rare occasion, all seven occupants are asleep at the same time. The malfunction might have been missed entirely if the heating hadn’t shut off as well.

It grows very cold over the next few hours.

Harper wakes with a start, the clicking sound of her chattering teeth hitting her ears before she’s fully aware of herself. Her body is shaking with the cold, and she grabs at their blankets, curling herself under them in search of warmth. It takes her a moment to register the weight on the other end of the bed shifting as Monty goes to stand, but as she does, she reaches blindly towards him.

“Why’s it so cold?” she asks groggily, teeth still clicking together.

“I think the heating shut off again,” he replies softly.

Sudden light fills the room. Harper squeezes her eyes shut against it and rubs a hand over her face. Even her skin feels icy. Slowly, she opens her eyes again, blinking as they adjust. Monty’s holding an emergency flashlight in his hand – one of the few they’d managed to find after the second malfunction – and he’s pulling on his jacket.

“I’m going to go help Raven. Go back to sleep.”

“I’ll try,” she says, knowing it will likely be useless until it warms up a bit more. Luckily, they’d all stockpiled extra blankets in their rooms after the first few nights onboard the Ring when all the programs had been finicky and the heating unit had struggled. She piles all of them on top of herself and hopes that Monty and Raven can figure things out quickly.

By morning – or at least, what feels like it might be morning, though it’s hard to tell without any light at all – Harper gives up trying to sleep. She’s done little more than shiver for the past several hours, and, even if she can’t help the others, getting up and moving might warm her body up more than lying here will.

They don’t have another light in their room, so she uses the walls to find her way in the dark, wandering aimlessly with nothing but a prayer to help her find where Raven and Monty are. She gets lucky – as she turns a corner, she sees two figures illuminated by their own flashlight. Emori and Murphy stare back at her in confusion. Murphy looks even grumpier than normal, his hair a wild mess and his face wrinkled with a deep frown. Emori beside him is bundled in several blankets, nearly hidden away entirely beneath the fabric, her eyes and nose the only part of her exposed. She’s still shivering.

“Do you know what the fuck is happening?” Murphy asks.

Harper shakes her head. She wishes she had thought to bring a blanket like Emori. Her teeth are still chattering. “Monty went to go help Raven. I’m trying to find them.”

Murphy glances at her empty hands and raises an eyebrow. “How were you going to find them without a light?”

Like usual, it’s taken Murphy very little time to make her want to hit him. She’s starting to think it’s his only real talent. “Monty took ours. But I didn’t want to just stay in the room.”

“We can all go find them,” Emori says, though it’s hard to understand her with how violently her teeth are chattering. Murphy wraps an arm around her and rubs at the giant mass of blankets where her shoulder might be. She leans into it. Harper can’t help but stare; it’s almost sweet – or it would be, she thinks, if it was anyone but Murphy.

They make an awkward traveling party. The only sound accompanying them are their footsteps and the chattering of teeth, all three too unsure of their company to speak much. Uncomfortable as it is, Harper’s grateful for it. She has a hard time stomaching Murphy on his best days, and he’s clearly pissed off. The cold is bad enough; it’s a relief to not be forced to suffer Murphy’s stupid comments along with it.

Eventually, they hear talking in the distance and follow the sound into the only other area of the Ring with any light. Inside they find the others. Raven, with a blanket slung over her shoulders like a cape, is typing furiously at the keyboards of one of the computers, looking frazzled and angry. Her hair is loose for once, and Harper finds it an odd sight; she can’t recall ever seeing it loose from its ponytail before.

Monty hovers at Raven’s shoulder, wrapped in his own blanket and clutching the ends close to keep any air from burrowing into the cracks. His head is bent low, watching the lines of code appear on the monitor as Raven types.

Bellamy stands beside them both, without a blanket of his own and clearly suffering for it, absentmindedly rubbing his hands up and down his arms to try and warm them. Echo is also there, standing apart from the others and away from the light, tucked into the shadows of the room. She’s clearly handling the cold the best of all of them; she wears the cloak she had first arrived in when she’d come to save them before Praimfiya and it seems to provide enough warmth for her, as she’s not shivering or moving to warm herself up. Harper wonders if it’s because she grew up in a land known for its ice and snow, or if she’s just good at hiding her discomfort.

“Hey,” Bellamy says as he turns to watch them enter. “What are you guys doing up?”

“It’s fucking freezing,” Murphy snaps. “How the hell are we supposed to sleep like this?”

“I’m working on it,” Raven snaps back, not even turning to look at him. “If you’re not going to be any help, leave the room.”

Murphy raises his hands in surrender, even if she can’t see them, and takes the hint. He takes a seat on one of the chairs and slouches low in it, keeping his mouth blissfully shut.

Harper goes immediately to Monty, and he automatically raises an arm with half of the blanket for her to duck under with him, nestling close to his side as much for heat as for comfort. He smiles at her; it looks strained. “Any progress?” Her heart sinks into her stomach as he shakes his head. Raven grunts out a sound that might also be a no, though it’s hard to tell. It could as easily be a reaction to what she’s reading.

“Raven has a bit of an idea what’s happening, though,” Bellamy says, in an obvious and unsuccessful ploy to get their spirits up. In the dim light, Harper can make out the dark circles carved under his eyes and the wrinkles in his brow she swears hadn’t been there before the Ring. He goes back to rubbing furiously at his arms.

“Care to share with us?” Murphy asks.

“Actually trying to concentrate,” Raven mutters.

“You want me to drag him out of the room?” Harper whispers to her, only partly joking. If he’s distracting Raven, she won’t hesitate to kick him out – or find some other way to shut him up. Knocking him out for a few hours just might help improve everyone’s mood.

Raven’s concentration on the code breaks just long enough for her to smile at Harper.

“Oh,” Bellamy says suddenly in surprise, drawing Harper’s attention. “Thanks.” She turns in time to see him accepting one of Emori’s blankets from her. Harper wonders just how many she has on her; there seem to still be at least two left.

“You looked cold,” Emori explains, shrugging, the movement nearly masked beneath her layers. Then, she moves back to Murphy’s side, pulling up a chair beside him.

Harper keeps watching her for a moment, thrown by the gesture. She doesn’t know Emori well, but it was hard to trust anyone who was close with a person like Murphy.

“Dammit!” Raven’s sudden shout makes all of them flinch. A wordless groan of frustration bursts from her mouth, and she scrubs aggressively at her face, dragging a hand back through her hair roughly. There’s a beat of silence. Then, she turns her chair around to face the room.

“It’s like a power surge,” she explains. “There’s some program running that’s taking up a lot of power – only I can’t figure out what it is or how to shut it off. And it’s not exactly a power surge because if the lights were just blowing out, they’d stay off until I fixed them. But they come back on shortly after whatever program it is stops running. It’s like –“ She breaks off with an agitated sigh, fumbling for words. “It’s like the Ark’s intentionally shutting the lights and the heat off to divert power to this other function.”

“That doesn’t make any sense,” Monty says slowly, face scrunched up in thought.

“You’re telling me,” Raven mutters.

“Mind sharing with the class?” Murphy asks, eyeing them and the computers behind them warily.

“Well,” Monty says slowly. “The Ark shouldn’t be able to process something like that.” He turns to Raven. “Right?”

“No. At least, I didn’t think it could – but I’m a mechanic, not a programmer. I never worked on the computer systems. But that level of programming – no, the Ark shouldn’t be able to do that.”

“I’m still lost,” Bellamy says after a moment. “What do you mean the Ark shouldn’t be able to do this?”

“It – “ Raven hesitates, trying to find the words. She glances at Monty and looks relieved when he takes over.

“If what Raven thinks is happening is true, that means that the Ark computer system is currently deciding which programs to shut off to divert power to another function. But no one would have ever programmed it to shut off the lights and heat, no matter what else the computer needed to do. So the fact that it’s doing that means the Ark itself is making a decision of which programs to turn off.”

“It can think?” a quiet, terrified voice asks. The rest of the room startles and turns at once towards Echo, as if they’d all forgotten she was there at all. What little they can see of her face in the shadows of the room looks pale, eyes blown wide with terror. She chances a glance towards the computer screens, shifting her stance slightly towards something more defensive.

“Well, that’s just it – it shouldn’t be able to. Some computers can, just not this one.” Echo doesn’t look very reassured. Neither do any of the others. They eye the screens with suspicion. “Someone must have programmed it this way before they left,” Monty concludes, looking at Raven.

She shrugs. “I guess. Maybe if they thought they were all going to be on Earth and needed it to still run some program, they’d tell it it’s okay to turn off life-support systems.”

“Life-support systems?” Emori asks, panicked.

Raven waves a hand at her that’s less comforting than it’s meant to be. “We’re fine. As long as none of us freeze, it’s not life-threatening yet.”

“What about oxygen though?” Murphy asks. “That’s life-threatening.”

“I don’t know,” Raven snaps. “It’s not like I can predict what’s going to break down next.”

“Oh, real fucking great.”

“You want to get up here and do better?” Raven nearly yells. “Be my fucking guest, Murphy.”

“Alright, alright, stop,” Bellamy steps between them. The blanket tumbles from his shoulders. “Right now it’s just the lights and heat, right?”

Raven nods stiffly. “Right now,” she agrees.

“So we’re in no danger of dying just yet,” Bellamy concludes.

“Extreme cold is dangerous,” Echo argues. “And none of you sky people are built for it.”

“And the algae needs light and heat to survive; without that we’re dead too,” Monty adds.

“Okay. But the last two times the lights came back on automatically. So we just wait it out.”

“We could build a fire,” Echo suggests, as Monty shakes his head at Bellamy’s suggestion.

“Too much heat fluctuation will still kill the algae,” he argues. “This can’t keep happening.”

A high-pitched, nearly hysterical laugh draws all eyes to Murphy. He’s hunched over with his head in his hands. “I’m going to starve to death anyways,” he snorts, unaware of the eyes on him. “Should’ve stayed in the fucking lighthouse.”

Emori crowds closer to him, whispering something in his ear. He shakes his head slightly, but it doesn’t seem to improve his mood.

Not that anyone feels in the highest of spirits. Monty’s prediction seems to clog the air, making it harder to breathe.

“No, we’re not,” Raven says finally, resolute. She turns back to the screens and resumes digging through the code. “I won’t let us.”

No one sleeps much that night. In the morning, they’re all still huddled in blankets in the Earth Monitoring Systems room, Echo alone in her corner, Murphy and Emori wrapped around each other near the door, Harper drifting off in her own blanket cocoon, Monty passed out in a chair, and Bellamy trying not to fall asleep on his feet as he stands dutifully at Raven’s side.

“I’M THE FUCKING BEST!”

Raven’s shout makes them all jump. Murphy knocks his head on the wall with a loud bang. Monty falls out of his chair. Echo sits up with a knife in her hands.

“You’re what?” Monty asks groggily as he pulls himself up.

Raven spins to look at them all. The pride on her face nearly masks the exhaustion. “I know what’s happening,” she tell them, voice giddy.

“Well don’t leave us hanging,” Murphy says, rubbing at his head.

“The Ring is shutting off the lights and heat to divert power to the satellite. It keeps trying to send a message to Earth.”

“Why?” Bellamy asks.

Raven shrugs. “Not sure. I don’t even know what the message is. I think maybe the Ark tried to get in contact with Earth before they left, and the computer systems just keep trying to send the message. I’m not sure why it’s turning off life-support systems to do it, but that’s what’s happening. And we can stop it.”

The room, as one, exhales a breath of pure relief.

“It’s a little complicated, though,” Raven adds. “There’s some kind of block keeping me from turning off the satellite or stopping the message from sending, and I don’t know enough programming language to get around it. But I have another solution. We can manually disconnect the Satellite. If the Ark can’t access it, it should hopefully stop trying to send the message until I can figure out how to stop it completely.”

“How do we do that?” Harper asks.

“Spacewalking.” She turns to look at Bellamy hopefully. “But I need someone to come with me.”

“Of course,” he tells her, as if surprised she even had to ask.

They all gather in front of the airlock to see Raven and Bellamy off.

Raven dresses herself with easy, practiced motions, then helps Bellamy pull his suit and SAFER pack on, quickly walking him through how to use it. She fits their helmets on, raps on Bellamy’s just to see him jump, then gives him a grin and motions for the airlock. He follows her into it and Monty closes the doors behind them.

“Alright,” Raven starts, her voice coming in through the radio as she secures Bellamy’s tether onto his suit. “Monty, we’ll be able to talk to you the whole time we’re out there. This should be a fairly easy fix.” She reaches for her own. “Bellamy, we’re going to –“

The doors to the airlock fly open without warning.

Within seconds, Bellamy and Raven are gone.

#spacekru #the 100 #the 100 fic #bellamy blake #raven reyes #john murphy #monty green #harper mcintyre #echo #emori #space squad #malware #my stories

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itsomgitsgreenblogging · 5 years ago

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Sleepless in Zadash: A Critical Role Fanfic

So...I know this is @essek-week, but who better to appreciate Essek than Caleb? Honestly for today I was half tempted to just reblog my Bakery AU fic Labor of Love (which you can read on AO3, all about a buisnessman!Essek falling in love with the owner of a cute magic bakery). But you know, I had this kicking around in my WIP document, and it fit with the Wine Concept, so I hope you enjoy it!

All I have to say besides this is...there was only one bed

Read the collection on AO3

Caleb sighed as he watched his phone slowly but surely climb up from a measly 2% to 5%. His back was nearly plastered to the wall of the column, squeezed awkwardly between two rows of seats. Crowds of equally stranded passengers moved throughout the airport, trying to find some sort of slice of area to set up for the long wait. Based on the snowstorm that continued to rage outside, frosting the large windows and icing the wings of the planes, Caleb guessed they would all be there for some time.

His phone began buzzing and flashing, Nott’s face flashed with her teeth in a wide expressive smile. Caleb picked up the phone.

“Hallo,” Caleb answered.

“Caleb! Are you alright!” Nott’s shrill tone went straight to his heart. “Where are you right now?”

“We stopped in Zadash, I was supposed to get my connection here but it isn’t looking like that’s going to happen any time soon,” Caleb said with a wince. He looked over to the Dwendalian Air desk, which was in the process of being mobbed by irate customers. “The desk is going to announce the information at some point if no one murders them.”

“What the fuck!” Beauregard’s voice echoed from the background.

“That really is unfortunate,” Caduceus chimed in.

“Are you going to be able to get somewhere to sleep?” Fjord asked worriedly.

“I figured I would just rough it at the airport,” Caleb said, curling his legs towards his chest before flexing them out. “I’ve slept in worse places.”

“We’ll come get you!” Nott nearly shouted into his ear, Caleb had to momentarily move the phone away from his ears. Someone sitting in a nearby seat shot him a dirty look, obviously having been startled out of sleep, before getting up and moving in a huff. Caleb gave them an apologetic look before refocusing on the chatter on the other end of the phone.

“It’ll be like a super fun road trip!” Jester chirped.

“No, no. That’s like three whole days, and very dangerous because of the snow. I’m sure we’ll be out of here by tomorrow anyways,” Caleb promised.

“Well that fucking blows. Do definitely try to get a hotel or something man, I’m sure they have to give you something for the layover,” Beau said practically.

“He probably won’t, because it’s Dwendalian Air, and life’s a fucking nightmare!” Jester sang cheerfully, and Caleb couldn’t help his grin.

“He could kill them,” Yasha’s soft voice offered. “The people behind the desk.”

“No, that definitely would not work under any circumstances,” Fjord pointed out.

“It was a joke, mostly,” Yasha said, her quiet laugh making Caleb smile.

“Alright, I’ll let you know where I am and what is going on,” Caleb promised.

“Bye Caleb!” “Bye Cay-Cay!” “Good luck!”

Caleb hung up the phone, tapping on the cracked screen. 10%. Caleb sighed, and slid further down on the wall. He continued to watch the waves of people, mostly their feet considering his angle. He liked counting and organizing, it was something that came natural and was always soothing despite the situation. Heels, sneakers, winter boots, light-up and glitter, black and brown, a myriad of types, black oxfords as shiny as a new copper--

A wallet dropped behind the oxfords. Caleb ripped his phone and cord out from the wall and rushed to grab the wallet.

“Hey! Wait!” Caleb barely managed, breathless in his panic. He couldn’t imagine being stuck at an airport, and losing your wallet on top of that. Just that panic alone propelled Caleb forward. “Your wallet!”

Black-shiny-oxfords turned around and it hit Caleb in the gut. He was the most handsome man Caleb had ever laid eyes on in his whole life. He was drow, like many of the professors who guest lectured at Soltryce University from Roshanna College, but had the distinct pleasure of being probably the most obviously attractive person Caleb had ever seen before. He was all high aristocratic cheekbones and delicate silver eyes and curly coiffed styled hair. He was wearing a meticulously pressed black suit tailored to match his whole aesthetic, like he would drift from the airport and onto a fashion magazine cover.

He patted his pocket, before holding out a leather-gloved hand. He plucked his wallet from Caleb’s hand delicately.

“Thank you so much,” shiny-oxfords said with a smile that made Caleb feel like he was having heart palpitations. His voice was smooth with a lilting Xhorhassian accent that added such a depth of flavor to him, and there was something so desirable and timeless about him...as if he were a vintage of wine that never went out of style. It poured over him like it was worth 100 gold a glass. "If I lost this, I would have been in some trouble."

“Uh, yes, of course,” Caleb cringed, and shiny-oxfords immediately pulled up out of the way of an orc yanking his entire family’s carry on’s on his back. His touch, even through his glove, had Caleb jumping like he had been shocked. “Sorry, sorry.”

“It’s alright,” shiny-oxfords said eyeing the hurrying family with distaste before looking back at Caleb, “which flight were you supposed to be on?”

“Connection to Trostenwald,” Caleb said, managing to collect himself and hoping beyond all hope he wasn’t too obvious in his desire to drink this fashionable, beautiful stranger’s presence down for all it was worth.

“Same,” shiny-oxfords said, looking at his phone. "Though I was hoping to make it to Nicodranas from there. Just got an alert, flight cancelled."

"Oh, sheisse," Caleb groaned, looking at his own phone. The same notification had popped up on his.

"Do you have somewhere to stay tonight?" Shiny-oxfords asked worriedly.

"I was just going to...you know sleep here," Caleb said with a helpless shrug.

"Well, I have enough International Inn points and I made a reservation to stay the night at the Pillow Trove when it looked like things were turning sour. Consider this a thank you gift from me."

"Oh, you don't have to," Caleb tried to argue.

"No, I do not," shiny-oxfords said simply. Caleb stared at shiny-oxfords. "But it is the right thing to do considering you kept me from getting arrested as a Xhorhassian national at a Dwendalian border without a passport."

"Oh," Caleb said dumbly.

"I am Essek Theylss," he said, holding out his hand like his name meant something and Caleb took it dumbfounded.

"Caleb Widogast," he introduced.

"It is a pleasure," he said as if it were easy being the classiest person in this place. "Let's get our bags."

They had to wait an obscenely long amount of time to get their bags. And by the time they did, Caleb was perfectly fine to skip the line for the dinner ticket that he was sure wouldn't even work. They managed to get out of the airport, Caleb waving over a cab from the dozens that crowded the stand like birds huddling together against the snow. He opened the door for Essek after they loaded their bags into the back, eliciting another quirked half-grin from him that had Caleb flushed like he had downed a whole bottle. Caleb had only ever been to the Pillow Trove once, on a weekend in one room with the rest of the Mighty Nein. He wasn't proud to say that they got absolutely wasted on the liquor and cheap wine in the mini fridge, and when you were that drunk it was easy to feel like you belonged anywhere. However while being totally sober he knew he was absolutely out of place here amongst the crystal chandeliers and marble floors.

The lady at the front desk gave Caleb an incredulous once over, before focusing squarely on Essek. Drow were rare...and generally still unwelcome, but considering how much his clothes nearly stank of money she put on her best congenial smile.

"Reservation for Theylss," Essek said, flipping out a black credit card and an ID. The lady looked over the ID long and hard, though Essek continued to smile placidly. Eventually, she seemed appeased, though Caleb fought his glare.

"Of course," she said, typing out very quickly on her computer. "We have a one bedroom available on the fifteenth floor. It comes with a pull out."

"That will work," Essek stated before looking over at Caleb. "Sound fine to you?"

"Yes, better than fine," Caleb said, hitching his duffle bag more firmly on his shoulder. He had balanced his messenger bag on the other, while holding Essek's rolling bag. Essek flashed another grateful look at him.

"Very well, two keys please," Essek asked, and though it looked like it physically hurt the woman she coughed up the two keycards.

They were down the hallway and up the elevator. Caleb counted the doors as they passed until they finally made it to the room. The room itself was spacious and well furnished, with a queen sized bed, a love seat and the pull out by the window with a small round table. The window itself was wide, and gave a beautiful view of the city that was still being pelted with snow. Caleb dropped his bags on the door side of the room, nestled by the closet.

“I will be happy to take the pullout,” Caleb offered weakly, turning to his new roommate who smiled in an obvious attempt to placate him.

“Nonsense. I only need to trance for four hours, you take the bed,” Essek said with a wave of his hand. “A Theylss always returns a favor, if I didn’t my family would have my head.”

“Then let me at least buy you something downstairs...dinner perhaps?” Caleb asked, surprised at his own daring. “And a good bottle of wine for the trouble.”

“We can split the bottle then,” Essek said, his smile this time showing fangs. “And I doubt that any of this will be trouble for me. Come along then, Mr. Widogast. Dinner, wine, and then bed.”

Caleb really did like the sound of that.

#critical role #critical role fanfic #Essek Week #shadowgast #caleb widogast #essek theylss

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doux-ciel · 6 years ago

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Gift of life. Unwanted Conversations

A/N: I literally don’t have a reason as to why I haven’t posted this chapter in a while, but the point is its here!!!! Also Happy Love Day AKA (A made up holiday) ANYWAYS!! Hope you all enjoy this chapter I’m working on the next chapter I promise...it should be out by the end of the month. *Possibly March*

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @writing-under-the-stars @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

If so click here -> ✨✨✨

*Let me know if you want to be added or removed*

If you want to re-read the first chapter over again you can click here ->

🖤 🖤 🖤

Harmony while skating on the ice, makes her way towards the exit of the rink. While placing her skates on the concrete surface she shouts out to the young girls to follow. “You girls did amazing today, tomorrow we are going to practice sit spinning”

Adalynn who was third in line to exit exclaims while raising her fist in the air, “Sit spinning!! Yay!!”

After every student exited the skating rink and took off their skates; Harmony flashes everyone a beaming smile. “Can we all give our new instructor Yesenia a big penguin huddle”

All of the girls gather around me placing their arms around my torso. I rest my head on the top of one of the girls heads. I squeeze my arms embracing everyone. “It was a pleasure teaching you girls today!”

“Bye Miss Harmony!” The girls waved goodbye as they sat down on the benches and began to take their skates off.

As I untie my laces to the ice skates I wince as I slide the skates off my sore feet. My eyes focusing on the floor beneath me. I hear Harmony who was now right beside me, “So how was your first week on the ice with these little rascals?”

Giving Harmony a smile I answer. “I'm so happy that I get the opportunity to do this for the rest of the year….although it would help If I actually got paid to do this.”

Harmony chuckles while stretching her arms up towards the ceiling. “Broke college student syndrome huh?”

“Definitely and it doesn't help that my financial aid paperwork didn’t get submitted….but I have a solution”

“Which is?” Harmony inquires.

“Miss Harmony?” A mother of one of the girls comes up to us.

Harmony looks down at the young girl that was next to her mother. Looking back up at the mother she holds her hand out to shake. “Hi yes you must be Ferrah’s mother nice to meet you, Yesenia just give me a moment.”

After getting out of that unwanted conversation with the Ice skating coach Harmony; I walk over to the office where my bag and personal contents lay. As I’m taking off my socks I notice a red blister start to form on my right heel. I wince as I examine it, touching it lightly.

I haven’t skated in a couple months and boy was it showing, I knew my skates were a little tight but I didn’t think I needed to go out and buy a new pair.

Sighing, I place my now sore foot down on the cold tile floor. All of a sudden I hear my phone ringing. I don’t recognize the number but I answer anyways.

I immediately hear a woman’s voice on the phone,“Hi this is Kim from Gifting Miracle’s I was wanting to speak with a Yesenia Cervantes?”

I was caught off guard, I didn’t think they would call this soon. It’s only been a couple days but I was happy the company called me back. I answer, “This is she”

Kim’s voice was bubbly, “Oh great, well I was calling to set up an appointment with you to meet?”

I was smiling so hard I thought my face would crack, I can’t wait to tell Nova that I booked an appointed to potentially be a surrogate and get the check that comes with it. I then tell her that next week on a Tuesday is ideal, since I only have a 12 p.m. lecture and I’m free for the rest of the day. While I hear her on the other end typing my information in the computer I realize; I don’t even know where these people are located. I then ask Kim, “Where are you all located?”

Kim clears her throat and says the address as if she memorized it off a script, “389 Riley Drive, its going to be the building on the end of the street.”

While trying to repeat the address in my head I was also trying to find piece of paper in the office but my eyes weren’t spotting anything. “Hold on I need to write that down”

Kim says she will hold and I dig in my bag, grabbing a napkin from the pocket that holds all of my miscellaneous items. I then spot a pen on the desk I quickly grab it and ask her to repeat the address again. She happily does so; even though the napkin is somewhat damp I write the address down. Placing the napkin on the arm of the chair I’m sitting in.

I quickly thank Kim for being so patient and we say our goodbyes. I hop out the chair, not even worrying about my sore foot; I start to do a little victory dance in the 10x15 space. Not even 3 seconds later I open my eyes and the napkin is gone.

“Shit” I whisper to myself, as I’m scanning the ground to look for the slightly damp and now probably dirty napkin. I can’t wrap my brain on how I lost the napkin in 2.5 seconds but I have to find it.

I’m on my hands and knees; I look out the office door only to see the feet of the various people walking by. Some of the students laughing at me and the mom’s/dad’s of the girls probably puzzled as to why I’m on the floor in the first place.

My eyes now scanning the floor of the lobby, I spot it.

Not only is it underneath somebody’s feet, its underneath the feet of Natasia Monterro. I rise up from my prior position on the office floor, now walking with no shoes on to retrieve my napkin.

Natasia bends down to pick up my napkin, her eyes narrow observing the piece of linen she slowly rises back up. I stand on the lobby carpet waiting, my eyes travel up and down her body examining her attire. A cream colored blouse, brown slacks and a nice shade of nude lipstick. My eyes focus on her hands, a bit blotchy; some discoloring in the skin but her nails look amazing. The polish is Icy blue perfect for the winter weather we are experiencing.

She finally realizes I’m standing in front of her, Natasia’s brown eyes slightly puffy looking like from lack of sleep look down upon my petite frame. “Is this yours?”

“Yes” I nod.

She hands me the napkin, afterwards she brings out some hand sanitizer from her purse. Placing a few drops on her hands, her eyebrows knit together as she puts her left index finger just below her lips. “Serena?” She points to me.

“Its Yesenia” I remind her.

“Anyway! How was today”

I give her a tight lipped smile while focusing my eyes on my napkin reading over the address. I bring my free hand grabbing some hair; that was falling into my face tucking it behind my ear. “It was hectic but it was fun teaching the girls”

I hear her voice sightly, taking on a more silvery tone. While placing her hand on my left shoulder she says. “That must be an important address, you were running after it like it was a $100 dollar bill”

I slowly remove her hand from my shoulder, my eyes looking at hers while my voice is low. “Well it could be my ticket to freedom”

I slightly jump when her granddaughter Adalynn comes running from behind me and stops right near Natasia’s feet. “I found my gloves Grandma!” Adalynn’s cheeks are now a nice shade of red, while holding up her Princess Elsa gloves.

I see her open the back seat of a very expensive looking truck placing Adalynn on the right side. While another man with a suit on comes from the driver's seat, grabbing Adalynn’s bag and placing it on the other side of the truck. Swiftly moves to open the passengers side door to let Natasia in the truck, they drive away.

“She definitely comes from money” I whisper to myself.

Just then I hear Nova call out to me. “Yesenia?” Why don’t you have on shoes?”

I laugh while peering down at my bare feet. “Don’t ask” I playfully roll my eyes as I run back to the office to grab my bag and follow her out the door to get into her Volkswagen beetle.

My own mother would want me to play in front of guests and of course every night after dinner. Even though I was no good, eventually I got better with practice of course and the right teacher; by the time I was 23 I was playing with the Chicago Symphony.

Taking a deep breath I focus back on playing when someone interrupts me, opening the door. I throw my shoe at the body not realizing its my life partner Wallace.

He is quick but the shoe hits him in the shoulder, he chuckles as he picks up the shoe. Wearing a grey turtleneck, some black slacks and only white socks he walks up to me bending down on one knee. Placing my house shoe on my right foot, I bend down kissing him softly on his cheek. “Wallace honey can you bring me some tea?”

Rising up from his prior position his eyebrows raise, “What kind do you want?”

“Chamomile would be just fine.” I say while sliding to the right to get up from my piano bench. I saunter over to my cream colored velvet chaise I have sitting in front of one of my many 1920 arched ceiling to floor windows. Looking out into the outside world, seeing the snow pile up on my green grass. I remind myself later to tell my maid Jenny to tell the contractor to come back tomorrow morning and shovel the snow from my property.

After a few minutes of waiting, I see Wallace out of the corner of my eye with a teacup in one hand and his tablet in the other. I grab the handle of the cup and bring my lips up the edge taking a slow sip. “How was your day?” I ask him while he sits at the edge of my feet.

“It was gruesome as usual, I’m actually getting sick of these people leaving us with the blood bath” He grumbles while looking down at his tablet.

“Well that’s apart of your job, I saw what that girl wrote on the napkin it looks like she’s with the agency. Did you handle the other thing I told you about?”

He nods, pressing on his tablet he brings it closer to me. I reach over to the side table that holds my reading glasses placing them on my face; I begin to read the file he has made on Yesenia Cervantes. “Yeah, she went to juvie couple times here and there but since she graduated high school her record has been spotless. No drugs, she drinks a little other than that she seems like a damn good-”

“Wallace!” I gasp at his use of profanity.

He quickly apologizes while taking the tablet away from me. “I mean she seems like an appropriate woman for the job.”

I take another sip of the tea, it was way too strong I clear my throat before looking up at him. Reaching out to him I place my hand on his upper leg. “Great, I’ll have to tell Charlotte and Nathaniel tomorrow morning after church, it’s a shame that my sons wife can’t carry a child on her own because of her dreadful disorder….I hope she doesn’t mind that I’m taking matters into my own hands.”

Wallace taking a hold of my hot tea, places it on the coaster on top of the end table. He makes his way towards me as I meet him halfway and grab his calloused hands. He squeezes them tight, his eyes looking around the room as he sighs. “When are we going to tell them about our engagement?”

His eyes finally meets mines, but it’s safe to say I wasn’t expecting that at all from him. I tilt my chin up letting out a breath. “You know how Nathaniel is with you, I don’t want to throw everything at him at once”

“He can handle it Nastasia….he’s not 5 you know”

“I know that but he’s still my little boy, I don’t want to stress him out, he already has to deal with Charlotte and her stuff.”

Wallace stands up and reaches for something in his pocket.

A ring

My ring.

He murmurs lowly, “I think-“

I start to fan myself with my right hand, all of a sudden the room felt like it was very hot and I couldn’t catch my breath. “I said I need time, do you think we can wait a little bit longer”

Wallace slowly walks over to me, taking my left hand and places the ring on my finger, bending down he softly kisses my cheek. “Not too long, I want you to be completely mines”

I slowly nod while I look down at the 18K white gold band with a decently sized diamond in the center. “I know sweetie….now give me some more honey, you made it too strong”

Wallace immediately tends to my request. “Yes dear”

As he grabs the cup and exits my piano room I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding in. Examining the ring on my finger again I feel my eyes start to burn. I look up at my chandelier which hangs from the ceiling. Closing my eyes trying to stop the tears from falling I think back to that day.

The day my first husband died.

My heart starts to race fast, and my mind is spinning. I place my right hand on my forehead rubbing it to try and calm myself down. Shaking my head from side it side, my eyes open and they automatically go to the ring on my left hand. I don’t think twice before taking it off. Placing the ring on top of the ottoman near the fireplace, minutes go by and I go back to my piano and start playing again.

This time I made sure I locked the door.

Coming home after a long day at work opening my front door and hearing screams from my daughter and her friends, also shouting from wife could either be a good or a bad thing. It made my heart stop as Charlotte raised her voice at Adalynn. But it was quickly followed by 3 little girls giggling. I absolutely had no idea what I was walking into.

Just as I turn the corner to where the ruckus is coming from, I come face-to-face with it - literally. I take a step back after bumping into Charlotte and look to see her face is covered in different shades of eyeshadow and there’s lipstick across her cheek. I cover my mouth to stop from bursting into laughter.

“What’s happened here?” I question. Charlotte is scowling at me as I’m trying my hardest to not laugh. “I have one late meeting and I’ve missed the drag makeup session huh?” I tease my wife, who rolls her eyes in response.

“I only wanted to have them look at my makeup vanity but two YouTube videos later and it ended up being a makeup tutorial” Charlotte states, in a high pitched whiny tone. “You know I can’t say no to Adalynn and then that darn Ashley pinned me down to the couch and now I look like this” she explains in full dramatics. I roll my eyes at her and set down my briefcase by the couch, stepping away from my wife. My daughter and her friends leave whatever hiding place they were at and come running towards me bombarding me with questions.

“Doesn’t mommy look beautiful, daddy?” My eldest daughter, asks while her friend Ashley laughs at Charlotte some more.

“Oh, she looks sexy,” I grin.

“What’s sexy?” Adalynn asked.

“Another version of pretty honeybun” Charlotte answers while chuckling.

“I-I put the-the lipstick on her” Adalynn’s other friend Ginger stutters out the words but ends with a big grin.

“I did the pink!” Adalynn shouts, she pulls on my jacket sleeve in order to get my attention.

“You all did great it,” I say as I bend down to hug my daughter hello, I give her a kiss on her cheek. Rising up from my kneeled position I turn back around to look at Charlotte, I chuckle as I notice the sparkly pink eyeshadow on her eyebrows. She sticks her tongue out at me but it then turns into a fit of laughter.

“Bathe time for the dirty piggies” I hear my wife say as she picks Adalynn up, making her squeal when she flips her upside down carrying her by her ankles. She motion the girls to follow. “Don’t make me have to bring out the tickle monster” as she is walking towards the stairs; my eyes settle on the mess that is Charlotte's face. I chuckle once more and I walk towards the hallway that leads to my office.

After Adalynn and her friends were put down to bed and were supposed to be asleep. I can still hear them on the baby monitor we placed in her room and the other one in my office. I was finishing my leftover lasagna, made by my lovely wife. I was working on a new software update coding, when I hear the news reporter on the T.V. screen in front of me. “Cyber hacking is taking over the country by storm, more from Sasha at 9.”

Turning off the television not wanting to hear what the news report was saying I place the remote on my desk. Resting my elbows on the surface of my desk; I blink my eyes tired from my work day. I knew I needed sleep but I couldn’t bring myself to go upstairs and just relax my mind and rest. As my eyes are closed I’m currently thinking about the meeting next Wednesday when I smell the scent of Charlotte's perfume.

She places her soft hands around my chest, “Honey...you busy?”

Clearing my throat I turn around my chair to face her. I examine her attire, wearing a long sleeved silk nightshirt her legs exposed. Her face has no traces of the makeup that adorned her face just an hour ago. I take my hands and place them on either side of her thigh, giving her a lazy smile. “Uh no, no I'm just finishing up.”

She takes a seat on my lap while placing her left arm around the back of my chair. “Great, I wanted to talk to you about what your mother suggested the other day when we were having the church brunch.”

Rolling my eyes I go back to that day. “Yeah I know...I just think she should’ve came to us first before practically choosing somebody for us.”

Kissing my cheek she answers, “Well she hasn't chosen anybody Nathaniel she just recommended someone. I understand she broke a ton of laws but she also did that with me remember? When we started seeing each other, before I even put my foot through your front door she knew things about me I didn’t even know”.

“Charlotte don’t-”

“This girl seems clean, plus she needs money.”

“Charlotte what about the people at Gifting Miracles? Didn’t you and mom go over there and speak with them about their services.?”

Sighing Charlotte replies, “Yes but they seemed so...detached you know? Like all they wanted was our money and it was just a business thing for them.”

I scrunch my eyebrows together while placing both my hands outwards, “Newsflash!! It is a business thing, its a company…..I just don't want this to blow up in our faces.”

Charlotte's lips form a pout as she crosses her arms in front of her. “I’ve met her a couple of times Nathaniel, she volunteers at Adalynn’s ice skating. She doesn't get paid for it Nathaniel, she’s already signed up to be a surrogate at Gifting Miracle’s we just have to convince her to go with us.”

I shake my head side to side, placing my index finger on my forehead and my thumb on my cheek. I start to feel the vein in my forehead protruding. “I don't know...we will have to meet her. What about the other candidates?”

Nodding she agrees with my suggestion.Taking a hold of my face giving me an Eskimo kiss. “Of course we will meet her, nothing is set in stone. Your mother and I looked at the other candidates….trust me I think you will like her.”

We sat in silence for a couple of minutes when I remember after my morning meeting I received a call from Charlotte's mother. Whom she doesn't want to contact. I tap her thigh letting her know to get up. I start to rise up from my chair, “Your mother called my office again”

Just then her whole mood changes, I see her back stiffen up and her mouth form a straight line. She waits for me to meet her at the door that leads out into the hallway. “I thought we blocked her number from your office phone”

��I know, but you know her...she finds a way to wiggle her way back into your life”

I get to the entrance of the door and as I shut off the light; I place my arm around her as we head upstairs to the master bedroom.

Charlotte grumbles, “It's not like she was in my life to begin with”

“Charlotte she’s your mother, our daughters grandmother. I know you don't want to hear it again but-”

Charlotte starts to raise her voice but realizes the girls are close by and lowers her tone, while viciously taking the pillows and throwing them on the chair near our bed. “But what Nathaniel? I should give her a second chance?!”

Taking my work clothes off I'm starting to get agitated because I didn't come home to argue with my wife. I go to the bathroom and turn the shower on waiting for the water to warm up, I shout from the bathroom. “I'm just suggesting that we slowly bring her back into our lives...for the sake of the family”

I hear Charlotte scoff before shouting back. “If she thinks she’s ever gonna be apart of this family, she's got another thing coming.”

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naomi-l-tiessen-blog · 8 years ago

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Tips on Staying [Relatively] Sane While Writing

Hellllooooooo Everybody ~

Happy Thursday Blogday!

Let’s face it: we’ve all been there, where at some point or another, writing stops being fun. Writing is our calling; we were born on this cynical planet to tell stories. It’s been written into our DNA, it’s our passion, it’s the reason Why. We. Breathe.

And it’s stopped being fun. In fact, it’s driving us a little batty.

*Le Gasp!!*

Cue the world ending.

Don’t worry. It happens to the best of us. It’s common to fall in and out of love with writing, especially considering we should be treating it like a job, and who doesn’t fall in and out of love with their job? Or, better yet, upgrade and develop a love-hate relationship with it altogether? It’s perfectly normal for your life passion to make you seriously question your sanity. And really, Lord knows it doesn’t matter if that passion is a hobby or a profession; insanity is completely inclusive and knows no boundaries. Honestly, you should watch me play video games; as much as I love them, I’m generally a mess when I play.

I know we all like to think that we are tough as nails and have nerves of steel, but the truth of the matter is this: we are human. We are fragile sometimes. And sometimes, SOMETIMES, our mental game isn’t exactly top notch. And while this might not seem like a big deal, not being 100% in the mental health department can lead to other things, like other health issues, insomnia, poor eating habits, increased hermitage, poor writing, or worse, NO writing.

Ok, NOW cue the world ending.

So, before you toss in the towel and seriously consider a new passion, let me settle your worried soul and offer 10 tips on how to salvage the last bits of your already fragile mental psyche. Some of these may work for you, and some of them may not. Some of them won’t be very nice to hear (you’ve been warned; the faint of heart should avert ye eyes), but are important nonetheless.

Without further ado, 10 tips on how to stay [relatively] sane while writing:

1) Take a break. This one is important, guys. When was the last time you got up, stretched, and focused on something besides your computer screen? Sometimes when we are so focused on our work, we forget that we have a body…a human body…and those things have needs! We ignore the signs our bodies are throwing at us, like muscle aches, eye strain, hunger pains, headaches, and full bladders. Trust me, your work isn’t going anywhere. You can afford a 5-minute pee break. It’ll all be there when you get back. And if it isn’t…well…I blame the wizards.

2) Make a schedule for yourself. Set alarms to remind yourself to take breaks, to eat, to do something that isn’t writing-oriented. Maybe instead of saying, “I will write today!” start with smaller, less vague goals. “I will write 500 words, take a 10-minute break, and then write another 500 words.” This goal is a lot more specific, is well-structured, has a beginning and end, and is easily attainable! Make it a habit to start each writing session with a routine so you know which direction you are heading in; going head-first into a session without an end-goal often leads to procrastination, frustration, and disappointment.

3) Switch it up. If the routine you are currently stuck in feels more like a rut than anything, perhaps it’s time to develop a new ritual. Try something different. Leave the house. Listen to a different playlist. Play around with a couple writing exercises to get the ideas flowing. Write in a group if you normally hermit it up (and vice versa, if you are on the more social side). Pick apart your routine and see what is working, and what isn’t. It’s amazing to see the sorts of things that might be helping alleviate your stress, and what might be exacerbating it.

4) Reward yourself. When you meet a goal, celebrate! Eat that candy, take a breather to watch that movie, go to the bookstore and buy that book you’ve been eyeing up. Allowing yourself those little treats is a great way to lighten the mood, offer momentary distraction, and reinforce further positive behavior. Think of it like this. If you are training your puppy to go to the front door when it needs to pee, you are going to offer positive feedback when it does the task you want it to do. Your puppy is then going to associate doing the right thing with something good (ie: praise, cuddles, and/or treats). The same thing goes for you (except, for the love of God, I hope you’re potty trained). When you set goals for yourself, reach them, and reward yourself accordingly, your brain is going to start associating positive experiences with hard word and hitting goals. This helps you focus less on stress and more on how well you are doing, or how much work you’re getting done. It’s all about perspective, you see. Positive reinforcement is key to a healthy you and a healthy me!

5) Accept defeat. Ok, I KNOW this is like a punch in the throat, and I’m not trying to be Negative Nelly over here, but this is an honest-to-goodness tip, Scouts Honor. When I say, “accept defeat,” I’m not saying toss all your hard work away the moment you hit a wall and all the rainbows and butterflies are gone. I’m saying that if you’ve been struggling with your novel baby for a solid chunk of time (I’m talking months-years here), you’ve lost your passion for it, and you are generally experiencing more anger than joy when it comes to sitting down at your computer and opening up your work, then you might want to consider either 1) setting that WIP aside and focusing on something else, or 2) getting rid of that WIP altogether. Now, keep in mind that this is only for absolutely dire, worst-case-scenario ordeals. But sometimes, it’s good to know when to call a spade a spade and to call it quits. I highly recommend putting a lot of thought into this, as well as making the decision with a clear, objective mind. Because, let’s face it, this is a huge deal, and letting your emotions get in the way might not be the best idea. But sometimes, you’d be amazed at how much lighter you feel after agreeing to drop a story. I’ve done it before, and as sad as it is to say goodbye, the lack of mental stress, guilt, and burden was enough to convince me that I made the right choice.

6) Get support/have a soundboard. A good vent session is a beautiful thing. And it’s even better when it’s not with your fur baby. For me, besides the raging headache I get, I often feel 10x lighter, more energetic, and more balanced after a good sob-fest/yelling session. While the soundboard can essentially be anyone, it helps if they have a writer’s brain like you; they know the struggles you are going through inside and out, and can offer constructive feedback and advice that doesn’t make you want to start throwing out punches like a kung-fu master. But the most important thing is knowing you aren’t alone in these problems. People have gone through EXACTLY what you are going through. They’ve been on the verge of snapping a time or two as well; what you are experiencing is not special, nor is it exclusive to solely you. People are suffering together! Hooray!

7) Journal your progress. Now, I know that sometimes journaling is the last thing people want to do, especially if writing is what they are already doing all day, not to mention if it is writing that is causing them such mental strain. But I find that if I journal my progress, even if it’s a couple sentences here and there, it helps me debrief and vent. This tip is especially handy if you don’t have the best support systems in place, or a soundboard to fall back on. Besides, sometimes we just need to rage-write our hearts out without fear of getting judged, interrupted, and overwhelmed with awful advice. Just as well, I find that journaling also helps me remain focused and on track. I can see how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown, and I’m reminded that I’m a lot stronger now than I was before. It’s very grounding.

8) Listen to music. Some people prefer to write in silence, and that’s totally fine! However, unless I’m really in The Zone, I find that my thoughts go way faster than my fingers, and in the end, I get too stressed to even function. My subconscious gets the better of me, and in the end, my work, and my mental health, suffers because of it. Therefore, often I turn to music to help keep my mind chatter to a minimum, and to keep my focus sharp. Music is awesome that way; there is a unique type for every sort of mood you are feeling. If you need something relaxing, there’s a playlist for that. If you need hardcore screamo, there’s a playlist for that. If you need orchestral, or lyrical, or dubstep, or chillstep, there is a freaking playlist for that. Music is incredibly influential, and often I find that my mood mirrors whatever I’m listening to. Using music to impact and manipulate your writing is a great way to push past blocks, fears, and crippling doubt. Need a confidence booster? I’ll bet there’s a playlist for that.

9) EAT. Seriously. When was the last time you fed your body? And no, I don’t mean with ichiban noodles, nutrigrain bars, and candy. When was the last time you put ACTUAL food into your belly? AKA protein, nutrients, healthy sugars, and non-lethal doses of sodium? When was the last time you drank something besides coffee and energy drinks? If you honestly can’t remember, stop reading this blog, go and grab a cup of water, and don’t sit back down till you drank it all. I mean it.

10) You are going to hate me for this, but exercise. Notice how I left this as the last tip…because it is honestly the last damn resort, the “worst case scenario”, the Plan Z. I’m not a fan of exercise on the best of days, but sometimes, if you are hitting that writer’s block for the umpteenth time, and the end is nowhere in sight, and your frustration is building so high up that it’s about to cave in on itself, then maybe stepping away from the danger zone and getting fresh air IS actually a good idea. Stop breathing in recycled air, and go out to where the elements are not man-made. Get the blood flowing, the heart pumping, and blast that music so loud that thinking about your book is next to impossible. Give your brain a moment to think about something else. Trust me, it’s not cheating to place your attention elsewhere for a couple seconds.

And there you have it! 10 tips to help you not rip out your hair and ram pencils into your eyeballs. Like I said before, not all these will work for you, nor should they (don’t forget, #5 is only in absolutely dire circumstances). During your writing hours, take time to introduce a couple of these into your schedule, and practice them till you find a groove that works well for you. I know your life is already busy, but trust me, your psyche will thank you in the long run!

With that said, I post new blogs (and vlogs, apparently) every Thursday, and if there is anything you’d like me to discuss, feel free to message me on here, or tweet me @ScarletteStone

Until next time,

Happy Writing!

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thejourneymanwordsmith · 4 years ago

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WIP - Adrift

I know it’s not Wednesday anymore, but I wanted to share the first little bit of this anyway, since it finally feels like it’s starting to go somewhere. It was originally the pilot of a tv show that I wrote for my senior project, and I’ve just never really been able to let go of it.

Adrift

The year is 2177. The Earth is dying. Despite our best efforts to save it, it was simply too little, too late. Scientists estimate we have about 100 years before our planet becomes completely uninhabitable.

However, human ingenuity is not to be defeated so easily. Recent developments in faster-than-light (FTL) technology have allowed us to travel to worlds far beyond our previous reach. Once more taking hope in hand, the United Nations has put together humanity’s first ever interstellar colonization effort, loading the world’s best and brightest onto a custom designed, state-of-the-art ship, the United Nations Ship (UNS) Ark Terra, and sending them out amongst the stars in search of a new home.

Part One: Sabotage

Captain Denelle Marshall sat alone in her chair on the bridge, staring blankly out at the distorted light of the stars flowing past the ship as it sailed through hyperspace. She had always thought the sight was beautiful, the way the starlight streaked against the windows, the bent light waves breaking down into their component colors and melting into an endless river of blue and yellow and orange. It made the vast emptiness of space a little more bearable. Or at least it used to.

Two months. Two months since they had left Earth behind. Two months trapped on this ship empty, staring at nothing but that endless river of distorted light. Sure, she’d been sent on long assignments before. But at least then there had been things to do, places to go, people to see. It had been dull at times, yes, but at least she had had the illusion of control to cling to. But this – being stuck in hyperspace, with nothing to do but sit around and wait – it was enough to make even a veteran like herself go mad.

And they still had nine months left to go before they arrived at their destination.

Denelle closed her eyes and sighed heavily. If they’d been a freight vessel, the ship would have been put on autopilot and all the crew put in stasis for the long journey. No need to bore themselves to death. But no. This was a military ship. And not just any military ship, but the UNS Ark Terra, the very first interstellar colonization effort to be sent out amongst the stars. Something so important couldn’t simply be left in the care of a bunch of computers.

At least that was the argument. Personally, Denelle thought it was pointless. Not to mention incredibly egotistical. To think that man could do such a menial task like basic ship maintenance better than a machine. Machines can’t get bored and make stupid mistakes.

But unfortunately, it wasn’t her job to make policy decisions like that. After all, she was only a ship’s captain, not top brass or a politician. No. Her only job was to man the fort, in that one-in-a-million chance that their custom-designed, brand-new state-of-the-art sextuple-tested computer system had a malfunction. This definitely wasn’t the glamorous adventure she had expected from such a historic voyage.

Suddenly, the light changed behind Denelle’s closed eyes. For a very brief moment, everything went dark. Denelle sat up straight and opened her eyes, staring intently out at the endless river of color before her. But as far as she could tell, it remained unchanged. Maybe they had just passed too close to a black hole or something. Or maybe she had imagined it. A bored brain making things up in an attempt to break up the monotony.

Denelle sighed again and leaned back in her chair, eyes once again sliding out of focus.

And then the ship’s lights flickered.

Shit.

Denelle sat bolt upright in her chair, every atom in her body suddenly on high alert. She pressed a few buttons in the armrest of her chair, and suddenly a map of the ship’s power grid was projected into the air before her.

Well that was odd. Everything looked normal. Maybe that specific light fixture was just broken.

The light flickered again. So did the projection.

Okay, that was not normal.

Denelle dismissed the screen and pressed another button on her chair.

“Bridge to Engineering.”

Silence.

“Bridge to Engineering. Does anyone copy?”

More silence. Denelle inhaled, about to make a third attempt. Who was even supposed to be on duty right now?

“This is Sam Fairfax in Engineering,” the radio crackled back. It carried a woman’s voice, light London accent. “What seems to be the problem?”

“The lights are flickering,” Denelle replied. “I checked the power grid, but the ship’s computer isn’t detecting any abnormalities.”

“Hmm. Maybe that light is faulty?”

Denelle sighed and rolled her eyes. “It’s not just the lights,” she growled back, failing at keeping the frustration from her voice. She was starting to get a headache. She pressed a slender index finger against the center of her dark forehead.

“Hold on one moment. Let me just-”

The lights flickered again. The radio cut out.

“Doctor Fairfax?”

Silence. Denelle pressed the button again, much harder than she needed to.

“Doctor Fairfax, do you copy?”

“I said hold on,” Dr. Fairfax snapped. “I still need to- Oh fuck.”

Denelle’s heart skipped a beat. She swallowed, mouth suddenly dry.

“That didn’t sound good,” she said, somehow managing to keep her voice even.

Silence.

“Doctor Fairfax?”

“Captain, you need to drop us out of hyperspace right now.”

“Doctor Fairfax, what is going on?”

“There’s some kind of malfunction with computer system, it’s causing the main reactors to overload, and the automatic shut-off isn’t engaging for some reason. We have about five minutes before the ship explodes.”

…

“I’m sorry, did you say the ship was about to explode?”

“Yes, I did. However, this can be avoided by temporarily cutting the power.”

“Then why haven’t you done that already?”

“Because if we cut the power while we’re in hyperspace, we could end up crashing into a planet or a star, and therefore still die a horrible, fiery death. You need to calculate an exit point and get us back into normal space-time before I do anything.”

Denelle got up from her chair and ran over to the navigations console at the front of the bridge. She reached under the desk and fumbled for the switch even as she sat down, bringing the station to life.

Numbers flashed across the multiple screens before her. Her eyes glazed over, not seeing them. What was she even doing? She didn’t know how to do this. FTL was still a pretty new technology. All the classes she had taken on it at the Academy had been purely theoretical.

Stop. Take a breath. Calm down. Being panicked right now is just going to waste more time.

Still, she wished she could call Lieutenant Loi up to the bridge. He understood how this thing worked. Probably the only person on the ship who did. Even so, it was the middle of the night (well, “night”). By the time he put clothes on and got his ass up here the ship would have exploded. No. She would have to do this herself and hope they didn’t crash. In theory, they should have pretty good odds. Space was supposed to be almost ninety percent empty, right?

Denelle closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Her heart rate slowed. She opened her eyes.

Pull up star charts. Map current position. Remember the protocol for emergency hyperspace exit. They’d made all of the senior officers take a short course on the practical applications of FTL after they’d been selected for the Ark Terra assignment. It didn’t matter that this was the first time actually implementing these skills. She knew what to do.

“Okay, I’ve mapped an exit point,” Denelle said, finger on the coms button. “Exiting hyperspace in thirty seconds.”

She should probably warn the rest of the crew that they would be dropping out of hyperspace. Not that it would do them much good. It was “night time” after all. Most of them would be asleep. Twenty five seconds simply wasn’t enough time.

Twenty seconds.

What if she did it wrong? What if they crashed into a planet?

Stop. You did it right. You know you did.

Fifteen seconds.

But what if she didn’t?

Even if you didn’t, space is mostly empty. The odds of crashing into something is ridiculously small.

Ten seconds.

Nine.

Eight.

Seven.

Six.

But what if she did it wrong?

Five.

Four.

Stop it. You didn’t do it wrong.

Three.

Two.

But what if-

One.

The ship shuddered. The river of colored lights shimmered, turning white before snapping back into pencil straight streaks against the windows. Another shudder. The sensation of stopping. And then the stars were stars again.

They were in wide open space, with nothing around them for a couple million kilometers. According to the ship’s scanner, the closest star system was half a light-year away. Denelle breathed a sigh of relief. She couldn’t crash the ship here even if she wanted to.

“Bridge to Engineering. FTL has been disengaged.”

“Copy that. Initiating emergency shut-off of main power.”

The lights flickered again, dimmed, then cut out entirely. A moment later, the main display screen turned off, erasing the stars and casting the bridge into pitch-black darkness. The gentle hum of the engines faded and died, leaving behind an eerie silence that pressed in around Denelle, suddenly making her feel just a little claustrophobic. And ever so slowly, Denelle began to drift up off her seat and into the air.

#wip wednesday #adrift

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doux-ciel · 6 years ago

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Blurb *COMING SOON*

CURRENT WIP: Gift of life

Release date: January 1st 2019

Summary: Charlotte and Nathaniel have the perfect life, a beautiful house, great jobs and a beautiful daughter. But there was always something missing, another child. They wanted to conceive but they had some complications so they hire a young surrogate but as they soon find out things take a unexpected turn.

Literally took me all day to find pics that I like to create this mood board...lowkey stil hate it

Tagged: @erinisawriter @pazwrites @ghost-possum @riftversus @requiemdelune @thewritertiffany @theouterdark @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @seraphilth @cvlms @lefttowritee @blackandwhitesunsets @youngdumbxlit @marniewrite @queen-of-the-jabari @viviscreams @niva-writes @natalierosewrites @alinakerrin @sugarmommamusings @bzrtales @bambimattel @fannistwrites @xanderswriteblr @between--alleys

*Let me know if you want to me added or removed*

I haven’t skated in a couple months and boy was it showing, I knew my skates were a little tight but I didn’t think I needed to go out and buy a new pair.

Sighing, I place my now sore foot down on the cold tile floor. All of a sudden I hear my phone ringing. I don’t recognize the number but I answer anyways.

I immediately hear a woman's voice on the phone,“Hi this is Kim from Gifting Miracle’s I was wanting to speak with a Yesenia Cervantes?”

I was caught off guard, I didn’t think they would call this soon. It’s only been a couple days but I was happy the company called me back. I answer, “This is she”

Kim’s voice was bubbly, “Oh great, well I was calling to set up an appointment with you to meet?”

Kim clears her throat and says the address as if she memorized it off a script, “389 Riley Drive, its going to be the building on the end of the street” While trying to repeat the address in my head I was also trying to find piece of paper in the office but my eyes weren’t spotting anything. “Hold on I need to write that down”

My eyes now scanning the floor of the lobby, I spot it.

Not only is it underneath somebody’s feet, its underneath the feet of Natasia Monterro. I rise up from my prior position on the office floor, now walking with no shoes on to retrieve my napkin.

Natasia bends down to pick up my napkin, her eyes narrow observing the piece of linen she slowly rises back up. I stand on the lobby carpet waiting, my eyes travel up and down her body examining her attire. A cream colored blouse, brown slacks and a nice shade of nude lipstick. My eyes focus on her hands, a bit blotchy; some discoloring in the skin but her nails look amazing. The polish is burgundy perfect for the fall weather we are experiencing.

She finally realizes I’m standing in front of her, Natasia’s brown eyes slightly puffy looking like from lack of sleep look down upon my petite frame. “Is this yours?”

“Yes” I nod.

“Its Yesenia” I remind her.

“Anyway! How was today”

I slowly remove her hand from my shoulder, my eyes looking at hers while my voice is low. “Well it could be my ticket to freedom”

She promptly grabs the 8 year olds hand,“Come on lets go.” Turning around to exit the building, she shifts her purse from her forearm to her shoulder while waving goodbye to all the other parents following right behind her. I see her open the back seat of a very expensive looking truck placing Adalynn on the right side. While another man with a suit on comes from the drivers seat, grabbing Adalynn’s bag and placing it on the other side of the truck. Swiftly moves to open the passengers side door to let Natasia in the truck, they drive away.

“She definitely comes from money” I whisper to myself.

Just then I hear my best friend Nova call out to me. “Yesenia?” Why don’t you have on shoes?”

I laugh while peering down at my bare feet. “Don’t ask” I playfully roll my eyes as I run back to the office to grab my bag and follow her out the door to get into her Volkswagen beetle.

After bringing Adalynn back to her parents home, I just couldn’t do anything for the rest of the day. So I told the help to leave me be and I would be in my piano room. I was just messing around with my piano, while playing I remember when I was 14 and just learning how to play. My own mother would want me to play in front of guests and of course every night after dinner. Even though I was no good, eventually I got better with practice of course and the right teacher. By the time I was 23 I was Playing with the Chicago symphony.

Taking a deep breath I focus back on playing when someone interrupts me, opening the door. I throw my shoes at the body not realizing its my life partner Wallace.

Rising up his eyebrows raise, “What kind do you want?”

“Chamomile would be just fine.” I say while sliding to the right to get up from my piano bench. I saunter over to my cream colored velvet chaise I have sitting in front of one of my many 1920 arched ceiling to floor windows. Looking out into the outside world, seeing the different color leaves fall to the green grass. I remind myself later to tell my maid Jenny to tell the Gardner to come back tomorrow morning and get the leaves from my property.

“It was gruesome as usual, I'm actually getting sick of these people leaving us with the blood bath” He grumbles while looking down at his tablet.

“Well that’s apart of your job, I saw what that girl wrote on the napkin it looks like she’s with the agency. Did you handle the other thing I told you about?”

“Wallace!” I gasp at his use of profanity.

He quickly apologizes while taking the tablet away from me. “I mean she seems like an appropriate woman for the job.”

“Perfect”

A/N: I hope you all are ready for this book as much as I am because when I tell you shit hits the fan real quick, I’m not playing!! Anyways stay tuned for 2019✨🖤👼🏻

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