#i saw someone who just learned what a brig was so i had to make this

[gaypiratepropaganda]

gay pirate glossary

articles- ship's articles. the papers you sign to join a crew. different ships have different rules. pirates got to make up their own.

bosun- boatswain. in charge of things that happen on deck. pretty sure there's supposed to be an apostrophe in there somewhere (bo'sun? bo's'n?)

bosun's chair- the swing thing for working on the side of the ship or bringing breakfast up to your co-captain.

bow- front of the ship.

bridge- the higher deck on top of the cabin? where you steer the ship from. only certain people are supposed to go up there, usually.

brig- the jail place below deck where you keep people who are annoying you.

captain- you know this one for sure, but pirate captains were a bit different than other captains. since they weren’t backed by any kind of government and could be mutinied or voted out at any time, they had to earn their crew’s respect. they needed the crew to see them as an equal, but still an authority on certain things. sometimes there was no captain, or they took turns.

doldrums- when the wind isn’t blowing for a while and everyone kind of loses their minds

flogging- punishment used on sailors in which a person is tied up and whipped a certain amount of times, depending on their transgression (30 lashes, 40 lashes, etc). It could get pretty bad, people died from it. allegedly you could volunteer to whip your friends so that it wouldn’t hurt as bad. people say this is where the phrase "I’ll scratch your back, you scratch mine" comes from, but that doesn't seem true

galley- the kitchen on a boat. sometimes doubles as the infirmary.

grog- daily rations of rum, mashed fruit, sketchy water, and sugar mixed into a delicious punch.

gun- the thing that shoots cannonballs.

hardtack- hard sad little crackerbreads that keep well but are very bland. sometimes there were bonus bugs in (extra protein!)

head- the toilet. it’s basically a board with a hole in it at the front of the ship. it goes straight into the ocean.

keelhauling- tying someone to the end of a rope and dropping them off the front of a ship so that they’re dragged under it and they drown or their skin gets ripped up by barnacles. fun.

(note: pirates didn’t usually use torture methods like keelhauling or flogging, especially not on their own crewmates. that was the navy and the merchant ships. a lot of people started out on those, mutinied because of the harsh conditions, stole the ship they were on, and became pirates. if a pirate captain tried that shit, they would not be captain for very long.)

kohl- black eyeliner made by the indigenous people of africa, india, and the middle east. i think it was invented in egypt? if pirates wore it, then tragically no one wrote about it. but it’s part of the lore at this point and it’s pretty. just accept it.

letter of marque- papers that prove someone is a privateer.

matelot- pirate husband. there was a matelotage ceremony, papers to sign, and a party afterward. a mate served as, like, next of kin. they made decisions if the other couldn’t, shared quarters and possessions, all that. some people insist it was only a financial arrangement, and maybe sometimes it was. but so were straight marriages, especially at the time.

port- left when you’re facing front (like stage left)

press-ganged/shanghaied- being drugged, stolen, and sold to work on a ship involuntarily. the recruiters just had to forge your signature and then you were stuck. some people became pirates to escape. it’s press-ganging when the navy does it, shanghaiing for the merchants.

privateer- like a pirate, but authorized by the state. they were allowed to kill and steal but only enemies of the crown and they had to give everything to the king. it was a good way to get a pardon and avoid being hanged. privateers often went right back to being pirates at the first opportunity.

quartermaster- first mate, also elected by the crew.

raid- when you go on another ship and take their things. pirates weren’t really out there stealing fabulous treasure or anything. It was more basic necessities like food, water, medical supplies, clothes, dishes, money, sugar, spices, and anything of value they could find to sell. they tried to be as scary as possible so that people would surrender and they wouldn’t have to kill anyone unnecessarily. if you could get them to join your crew, even better.

rigging- all the ropes. you can climb around on them.

round robin- when you sign your names in a circle so that no one gets singled out for signing first. used in the navy.

salty- of or related to the sea, experienced as a sailor

sextant- that thing you use to measure the stars so you know where you are at sea. i think you can also use your hand somehow? i don't understand it.

shanties- those songs sailors sing. you know the ones. they were work songs, to get everybody in the same rhythm, but they were also for entertainment. there’s a lot of downtime on a sailing ship. my favorite thing is that when singing a song from the perspective of, for example, a woman waiting for her bonny lad to come back from the sea, they would sing in their man voices without changing the words.

shares- an equal cut of the loot. some people might get a share or half share more or less than other crewmembers. sometimes the captain was the one who got less? this was decided by vote. it’s like a non-profit stealing co-op.

starboard- right when you’re facing front (like stage right)

stern- back of the ship.

watch- everyone took shifts staying up to watch for other ships and make sure they stayed on course.

yardarm- the horizontal thing that the sails are on. yardies!

some basic pirate terms for you in case you need them. I did not do any research, this is 100% organic vibes-based pirate lore in honor of our boy david. i have read a lot about pirates over the years, though. fiction, nonfiction, and primary sources. these are just the fun bits that live in my brain <3

[hugintheraven]

The Undersiders and their Overwatch mains

(This will use OW1's 2/2/2 comp because that's what makes sense and will ignore any chars introduced after the point where that ceased to be relevant) (Obviously this team is initially sponsored by Thomas Calvert/Coil).

Grue: Reinhardt. He protects others, he likes how tactical Rein vs Rein can be, he's big and hits stuff, but it's not overly complicated or focused on accuracy. Brian can and does learn the other main tanks, and later on his Sigma is disgusting, but he was really happiest when it was just him and a shield trying to out-time some other guy with a shield, with the entire team on the line if either screwed up.

Hellhound: Off-Tanks. She doesn't have a main, preferring to pick a char depending on the situation(even going Mei/Brig/Winston if off-tanks are bad in the current patch), but "get in front of the enemy, get hit, hit back harder" are general themes. Was accused of cheating a few times because she runs a custom HUD mod that replaces all text with icons and all numbers with partially-filled bars; this was EVENTUALLY ruled to be assistive mode similar to colorblind mode and officially patched into the game, but she still receives online hate for it regularly(as she doesn't read and exclusively uses social media to post and look at pictures of puppies, she is able to ignore this, giving her the single healthiest relationship with social media possible for a streamer.)

Imp: Offensive flankers. She has a Sombra icon on most social media, has cosplayed as her, and many people call her a Sombra main, but Brian got the game because Aisha saw Tracer in the early advertisements and went "I want that". She does not consider it a win if her team wins. She considers it a win if the opposing team's Mercy or Widowmaker DCs, and will play any char that can accomplish that.

Skitter: Widowmaker, other snipers. Officially flex DPS, any time the Undersiders need someone to play an unusual hero in a new broken team comp, Taylor can pick them up quickly and well, but she's at her best clicking on heads and 180ing to take out Genjis and Sombras who thought no one had seen them coming up behind. Taylor is just very very good at noticing who's absent from the battle and knowing which route is easiest for them to take to get behind the team. Was laddering as Mercy/Ana with Emma's group of friends when she got scouted by Lisa. When solo-queueing she will literally play anyone to keep from getting bored.

Tattletale: Main support, heavily Ana. Shotcaller for the team, good at knowing who's high and who's low on health. Tends to tunnel vision on the fight and get taken out by flankers, but so good at keeping everyone else alive and getting her grenade onto key targets that it doesn't matter much. Lost a 1vs1 as Lucio to Taylor's Battle Mercy and sent her a friend request immediately.

Regent: Zenyatta, maybe Lucio if he's in a good mood or Brian asks nicely. Because:

The Heartbreakers are Canada's premier esports team, coached by former competitive Half-Life 1 player/asshole, Nikos Vasil. Several of his kids have shown up amongst its roster. People complain about nepotism, but the kids are actually mostly very good. Hijack and Cherish were standouts in the early days of Overwatch, with his Hanzo and her Genji working extremely well together, even if they hated everything about it. He eventually ran away and deleted all accounts, but his savings ran out and his attitude was not well-suited for a real job. So he went back to streaming with stolen wifi and his old gaming laptop. After all, if he didn't play Hanzo, no one would notice, right? Lisa spotted him in under a week and promised cash if he'd try out. His rule: No DPS. So now he's their secondary support, with a Zen that out-damages most Soldiers when he tries and at least keeps his healing orb out when he doesn't, and Alec shows up to competitions/conventions in a mask.

Other people:

Glory Girl is an obvious Pharah main, and Pancea learned to play by picking Mercy and jamming her staff directly up Pharah's butt. Amy ends up with more hours logged on AO3 than actual Overwatch despite eventually becoming extremely good as a support player/shotcaller(after leaving New Wave).

Cherish also leaves the Heartbreakers and gets picked up by Slaughterhouse, an extremely aggressive team coached by also-asshole Jacob Black(Jack / ). They peaked during dive comp. She continues to play Genji, and is still miserable.

Scion is Bobby Kotick.

[brandyllyn]

SFW Alphabet: Poe Dameron

A = Admiration (what do they absolutely adore about you?):

Poe loves watching you talk to other people. He knows how to be charming, to get people laughing and smiling, but people just seem to trust you. Spilling out their deepest secrets without thinking twice about it. He asked you about it once but you just shrugged and said people like it when other’s listen to them and then you’d poked him in the chest with a pointed look. Once you two were done wrestling he’d forgotten the question entirely. B = Body (what is their favorite part of your body?):

He loves your hands. Watching you fiddle with a piece of machinery or glide over the controls of your work station / X-Wing. Sometimes, during a meal or just the middle of the day, you’ll reach over and cup his cheek in your palm, tracing your fingers against his temple. It makes him just melt.

C = Cuddling (how do they like to cuddle?):

You once likened cuddling with Poe to being caught by an especially nice smelling kraken. He just wraps himself around you, every one of his limbs tangled with every one of yours. There is no graceful exit from a Poe cuddle. You’re either in or you’re fighting for your life to get out. D = Dates (what does their ideal date with you look like?):

Poe hasn’t dated much. What he knows about romance is what he remembers of his parents being together. So usually he does things like make meals for you, or take your hand while you’re on a walk and spin you into a dance right then and there. He has plans for when the war is over. Of taking you to someplace safe and tropical and just relaxing. But for now he’s got BB-8 programmed to play music at opportune times and he’ll do what he can to bring a little bit of romance into your life. E = Emotions (how do they express emotion around you?):

Big emotions. Big. Poe doesn’t have small reactions to most things. He’s either running hot or he’s hiding how he’s feeling. It was a bit overwhelming at first, but you’ve learned over time to decipher the twitch of his eyebrows, how he clenches his jaw. And you coax him into talking with you about things before they can become too big. F = Family (do they want one? If they do, when?):

Poe wants kids. A half dozen of them with his nose and your eyes, and another half dozen orphans from the war. He wants to sit on a couch somewhere with your kids in his lap and his arm wrapped around you and just drift off into a peaceful sleep where he won’t have to worry about invading forces.

He’s happy to wait for that as long as it takes to be safe. And if that day is too far in the future where natural kids are off the table - then he’s open to adopting all of them. G = Gifts (how do they feel about gift giving? What are their habits when it comes to this?):

Poe is like a magpie, always finding shiny rocks or shells and leaving them in weird places for you to find. He’s not one for giving big gifts - but every day he finds a stone that’s the same color as your eyes, or he sends you a photo of something he saw that reminded him of you.

For his part, he gets very chuffed when you get him gifts. You got him a scarf a few months ago that he wore every day for a month - proudly telling anyone who commented that it was a gift from you and wasn’t it perfect? H = Holding Hands (when/how do they like to hold hands?):

If you are within three feet of you Poe is reaching for your hand. It’s like it’s automatic. Once you walked up behind him and you’d swear on everything there was no way he knew you were there but his hand reached back anyway and found yours.

When you’re in Command and pressed in with the rest of the crew, sometimes he holds your hand then too. You’re not supposed to, supposed to be professionals and focused on the mission. But it’s like he can’t help himself. I = Injury (how would they act if you got hurt?):

He would lose his goddamn mind. Once after doing a blood donation in MedBay you fainted on shift and had to be transported back down there. By the time you woke up you found out that he’d tried to force his way inside the MedBay and was sitting in the brig for punching a superior officer. He got off with a warning and cleaning detail but there were standing orders on base that if you ever went into the MedBay again all efforts were to be made to clear a path from Poe to you.

J = Jealousy (do they get jealous?):

Not really? You’re far more likely to get jealous of him talking to someone than he is to get jealous of you. What he gets jealous of is your time. You two have so few moments to just be together, any time you end up doing something else he sulks. Internally. He’d never want you to think he didn’t want you to have friends or interests outside of him. But yeah, if he could spend the rest of his life in bed with just the two of you he’d do that without thinking twice.

K = Kisses (how do they like to kiss you?):

Soft. So so soft. It’s like he’s afraid he’s going to break you. Or scare you. Or some other strange thing he has in his head about you. It’s always you that deepens the kiss. Always you that makes things a little rougher, a little needier.

L = Love (how do they show you they love you?):

It’s a thousand little things. The stroke of his thumb across the back of your hand. The way he saves the best part of his rations for you. He always has a cup of caf ready for you when you wake up, steaming and hot and just the way you like it.

He says it a lot too. Your favorite is when he nuzzles his nose against yours and just barely whispers it.

M = Memory (favorite memory together?):

Your first kiss will always be one of his favorites. You’d been off together alone somewhere, arguing about Maker only knew what, and the next thing he knew you were kissing him. He’d frozen, convinced that he’d imagined it. But when you started babbling about how you were sorry and would never do it again he had kissed you and you’d melted against him.

N = Nightmare (what is their worst fear?):

Losing. 

Losing the war. Losing his squad. Losing you. It’s a constant pall that hangs over your lives. Sometimes he wakes up in the night from dreams where the squadron goes down. Or the First Order has captured the base. You’re always there to soothe him, to stroke his back and tell him that will never happen.

He knows you can’t make that promise, but somehow hearing you say it makes it almost feel true.

O = Oddity (what is one quirk they have?):

Poe has a thing about bones. He doesn’t like them. Back on Yavin IV there was this cave he accidentally fell into as a boy and was stuck down there for hours in some animal’s abandoned abattoir. Since then, he hasn’t been able to be around old bones without feeling like he might throw up.

P = Pet Names (what do they like to call you?):

Sweetheart, gorgeous, beautiful, sexy. Once after a night of celebrating with the crew and a cask of whiskey, he mumbled something to you in a language you didn’t recognize. When you repeated it back to him he’d pushed you up against the wall and kissed you like his life depended on it, sighing the word into your mouth over and over.

He still won’t tell you what it means - or even what language it is. C-3PO is under strict instructions not to tell you.

Q = Quality Time (how do they like to spend time with you?): 

He just likes being near you. If you’re both in your quarters he enjoys sitting with your feet across his lap while you both read. Or going on walks together to look at the stars. Sometimes at Command he positions himself so that he’s closer to you, just to feel the sense of peace that settles over him when you’re near.

R = Rhythm (what song reminds you of them?):

Poe enjoys music, really he does. But he’s never really had time or inclination to learn much about it. He likes things that he can dance to with you.

S = Secrets (how open are they with you?):

You and he both have secrets. You work in different squads/ departments which means you sometimes have intel that the other doesn’t. You both understand that and try hard not to accidentally push about it.

When it comes to your personal lives Poe is, at times, an over-sharer. He asks you questions about you all the time and will answer truthfully anything you ask him.

T = Time (how long did it take you to get together?):

Longer than either of you we’re happy with. He knew he wanted you from the first moment - but with everything else going on in the universe there was never time to get to know each other. A few dates were made but always got cancelled. You spent literal months flirting and then sighing melodramatically around each other until it was an act of mercy for Command to give you both the day off and send you off somewhere alone.

When you came back you were a couple.

U = Upset (how do they act when they’re upset?):

He rarely gets truly deeply angry. Annoyed a lot - which usually manifests in an eyeroll or at worst him storming off in a huff for a bit. But when he gets truly, deeply angry he lashes out. Sometimes knocking something over or sometimes even with harsh words. You’ve had to talk to him about that - about saying things that were too harsh in the heat of the moment. He’s working on it but coming along slowly. Thankfully, you two rarely fight.

V = Vanity (how concerned are they with their looks?):Poe has never really put much thought into his looks. He knows his hair is too long most of the time, but you seem to like playing with it so he never cuts it until you say something. He never really thought of himself as more than passably handsome until you came into his life. With the number of times you have assured him he’s gorgeous he’s starting to believe it and jokes about entering beauty pageants when the war is over.

W = Warrior (how do they feel about you fighting?):

He doesn’t like it. He really doesn’t like it. Not because he thinks you can’t take care of yourself, but because he hates the idea of you getting hurt.

Once, he saw you throw a Wookie over your shoulder during a training exercise and had to stop himself from yelling "That’s my girl!" across the field. So there is that.

X = X-Ray (how well are they able to read you?):

He misses signals a lot. Over time, you’ve learned that he’s a fairly direct person and he functions best if you’re direct with him as well. Dropping hints about being upset will generally be met with confusion or him entirely mis-reading the situation and making things worse. The good thing is that he’s very open and willing to communicate. He just needs to know what you want to communicate about so he can be fully onboard.

Y = Yuck (What are some things they wouldn’t like, either in general or in a partner?): 

Poe wants someone who listens to him - but who will stand up to him when the time comes. He’s not really into super shy or hesitant types. He lives his life fast and wants someone who will either keep up with him or grab him by the scruff of the neck to make him slow down.

He hates pranks. Hates them. Hates being the victim of them and will never ever help in their perpetration. They always seem more cruel to him than humorous.

Z = Zen (what makes them feel calm?):

Sitting in the quiet of space. Radio off, just drifting in his X-Wing. There’s something almost meditative about it. The only other time he feels that way is when you’re holding him in your arms.

[petitelepus]

1.2 Can I have a headcanon where in a bar someone strongly insults S/O? Just because the abuser wanted to. And the following 2 variants of the development of events. 1. A person is very insulted and offended, she runs away to her habsuit in order not to cry in public.(the abuser then gets a few punches from the bots who saw this scene)

There was knocking, no, banging by the other side of your habsuite's door. You jolted awake and realized that you had cried yourself into sleep.

Atomizer was so mean with his words and you had fled the bar just as the tears started but still before anyone could see you cry. You wouldn't give Atomizer the pleasure of seeing how his words hurt you.

The banging grows louder and you wipe your eyes to your blanked and got up and opened your door. You were surprised to see Rewind and Chromedome there.

Oh, they must have come to console you. You sighed, tired after the tears, and look at the lovers. "What is-!"

"Whirl was sent to the brig for sending Atomizer to medbay." Chromedome told you.

"What?" You blinked in shock and Rewind nodded, "Yeah, shortly after you left Whirl started a fight with Atomizer. Though, it was rather one-sided. Whirl wouldn't let Atomizer even defend himself."

"Omg..." You felt bad. Why had Whirl gone and done that? You looked at your Autobot friends before you. "Is he okay?"

"Atomizer? He-!"

"No, Whirl!"

"Ooh!" Rewind nodded. "Yeah, he just got sent to the brig. He should get out around now or soon."

You didn't wait that long, you ran to pick your hover scooter and drove to the brig. You were there just in time to see Ultra Magnus let Whirl go.

"I expect you to learn from your mistakes." The huge blue Autobot told to Whirl, who scoffed and said something that can't be written, as it was a dirty word. Very dirty word.

Whirl was about to leave when he saw you standing there before him. You looked up at him and asked, "Whirl... Did you do it for me? Did you fight with Atomizer for me?"

"What!?" The bot asked and made a sound of disbelieve. "Nah, I just felt like fighting a bot and spending my night in the brig. Nothing out of ordinary!"

"But... You chose to fight him out of all bots." You looked at him with your eyes wide and honest. "Were you defending me?"

"What!? No-!"

"Whirl, please! Tell me the truth..."

The blue flier glared at you but you were so puny and weak, he couldn't take it long.

"Yeah well..." Whirl averted his gaze from you, "I should be the only one making fun of you. Not a glitch like him."

Suddenly he flicked his head up and shot a glare at you. "So don't get any wrong ideas, fleshlight!"

You were shocked, but the shock slowly ebbed away and you smiled at Whirl. "Wanna get some breakfast?"

"Sure." Whirl nodded but looked past you, trying to hide the mirth in his golden optic, "I was hungry anyway."

[singledarkshade]

Alone

Summary: He hoped Gideon had been listening when the signal went out, as brief as it had been, and it reached her otherwise he would probably die here. But as the last of the Time Masters, maybe it was time. Author’s Note: Day 3: “I’ve seen darker days.” – Terrible things have happened to Rip throughout the show, but as fans we’re good at thinking up more. It’s Whump Day!                                ********************************************* Rip Hunter, former Time Master, former Time Bureau Director, former Captain, former husband, former father, and current recluse walked slowly through the deserted space station looking for the point of origin of the distress signal he was tracking.

The station had been shut down for years and, from what he knew, there should be nothing working at all. Never mind a signal made by technology over a hundred years ahead of when the station existed.

He checked the tracker on his modified courier for the information Gideon had provided for him. Rip shook away his sadness at the fact they weren’t together, but current circumstances meant they weren’t able to be.

Reaching the coordinates, Rip frowned when he saw the object and realising that what he’d been tracking was a trap set by Time Pirates. Turning he began to run through the corridors back to the Time Sphere, hearing the device charging. Reaching the Sphere, Rip jumped in and activated a time jump but before the portal closed the Sphere was rocked by an energy wave. Rip grimaced as he fought to steady the small craft, but the blast had disabled several of the systems.

“Come on,” he muttered as he tried to keep the small vessel inside the time stream long enough to reach his current base of operations, but the sphere didn’t have the same redundancies the Waverider did. Suddenly the time stream disappeared, and Rip saw the ground rushing towards him. Slamming the button to activate the emergency beacon, Rip managed to grab the disaster kit and activated the sphere’s version of an airbag before he hit the ground. Aware of things smashing around him, Rip’s head slammed against the console before everything went black.

Rip woke slowly.

His head was throbbing but as almost every other part of him was aching, it was in the majority. Forcing his eyes open, Rip could see the Sphere was completely dead and in complete disarray. He was lying on his side, his legs trapped beneath the seat and Rip felt any hope of rescue die quickly seeing the beacon was as dead as the rest of the Sphere. He hoped Gideon had been listening when the signal went out, as brief as it had been, and it reached her otherwise he would probably die here.

But as the last of the Time Masters, maybe it was time.

He’d been alone for so long, betrayed by those who raised him, by the man who he looked up to and almost thought of as a father, then forced to destroy them, the people he loved were all dead while those he had once called friend presumed him dead and probably had a party at the fact.

Perhaps it was time he finally did.

“Please,” a mocking voice drawled, “You won’t die. I’m not that lucky.”

Turning slightly, Rip frowned as he saw a familiar woman sitting just to one side of him, “Sara?”

“Well,” Sara Lance said amused, “Your brain is still working for the moment.”

He frowned confused, “Why are you here? How are you here?”

“To make sure you actually die this time,” she smirked at him, “Since you clearly didn’t after the Mallus thing. I don’t want to have to worry about you trying to take my ship. Even if there’s no way you could, it would be inconvenient to have to put up with the attempt.”

Rip closed his eyes as he thought of his ship, his home and Gideon who he knew worried about him while he worked away from her.

“The Waverider is mine,” he breathed, “You’re currently allowed to use her.”

Sara laughed, “Do you really think you could walk onto the Waverider and even get a chance to say a word before we had you in the brig, bound and gagged so you couldn’t talk to Gideon? She wouldn’t accept you back anyway. After how often you’ve abandoned her.”

“Gideon knows…”

“What?” Sara demanded, “That you care about her? You’re fooling no one, Rip. We all know the only one you care about is you. Gideon was just a means to an end, a tool you used and threw away when you found something better. You can pretend to yourself that you asked her to come with us but,” she smirked, “We both know she came with us to get away from you.”

Rip covered his eyes with his hand, “No. She knows why I left, she understands.”

“You’re so pathetic,” Sara shook her head, “No wonder Druce was able to manipulate you with ease. You’re desperate to be loved, desperate to be relevant but let’s face it, Rip you’re not. I mean look how easy your beloved mentor fooled you,” she paused and smirked at him, “The love of your life was probably screwing you under his orders.”

Rip flinched at her words, at a deep unspoken fear he had that could never be eased since Miranda was gone, being spoken aloud.

“Because who could possibly love someone like you?”

With a cry Rip threw the first aid kit at her, it bounced off the shell of the ship and fell to the ground. Rip closed his eyes and slipped into unconsciousness.

 The pain in his head was worse when Rip woke again, touching his forehead he winced as he felt the wound there. Pulling his hand back he saw blood coating his fingers. That explained the pain.

“Injured again, Rip. Honestly if it wasn’t for our medical technology, you would have been dead years ago,” Druce said, making Rip flinch when he saw the man sitting where Sara had been earlier, “But then again you should have been dead a long time, that worthless brat we found living on the streets.”

“You’re dead,” Rip whispered, horror filling his voice.

Druce smiled darkly at him, “Am I? You know better than anyone how to fake your death.”

“I didn’t fake my death,” Rip replied coldly, “I simply didn’t let the team know I survived. They don’t care anyway.”

“Well, that is true,” Druce noted, “The team you brought together learned very quickly how worthless you are. They have a leader they actually listen to, someone who can fix the ship as well as programme the AI and a historian. Where would you fit in?”

Rip closed his eyes.

“And even Gideon,” Druce continued, “Your dear Gideon, she doesn’t need you at all. The only people who ever needed you, Rip, you utterly failed to protect.”

“Stop,” Rip snapped.

“Miranda would have been so much better if she’d never met you,” Druce reminded him, “And your son probably would be alive now is she’d never let you know him.”

“Stop!!!” Rip screamed, the memory of Jonas dead in his arms hitting him and tears filled Rip’s eyes, “Please, don’t.”

“Failing at everything you’ve ever tried to be is bad enough,” Druce ignored Rip’s pleas, “But that little boy, so innocent and full of life deserved so much better than you.”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Rip cried, turning his head away sharply, it connected with something solid and fell into unconsciousness once more.

                                 *********************************************

 Rip felt sick as he woke up once more to the empty Sphere. At least Druce was gone but the feeling of hopelessness his former mentor had left him with remained.

He had to get himself out of this and find a way back to Gideon to repair his injuries but right now, Rip had no idea how. His mind was fuzzy, it felt like it had been filled with cotton wool and he wanted to just give in, to simply sleep but he knew he couldn’t.

“You were never lazy,” the clipped voice of Mary Xavier told him, “You have plenty of other faults, but I will admit you’ve never been lazy.”

“Mother,” Rip whispered.

She shook her head, “Oh, Michael, what a mess you are.”

Shaking his head, Rip sighed, “Please, don’t. I can’t take it from you too. You’ve always encouraged me.”

“Well, that was my job,” Mary reminded him matter-of-factly, “To take the children I was given and make them Time Masters. I had to act like I cared about them.”

“Mother…”

“I have never met such a needy child as you before or since,” she sighed sadly, “Desperate for approval, desperate for love, desperate for someone to tell him he is good boy.”

Rip stared at her through tear filled eyes, “Don’t…”

“It was so easy to get you on the right path,” Mary continued, “Bake with you, tell you stories, pat you on the head and you were my little lapdog.”

“I love you,” Rip whispered.

“I know, Michael,” she smiled at him sympathetically, “Which was why it was so easy to train you.”

Rip closed his eyes, “Go away, go away, go away.”

“That’s not a nice thing to say to your mother, Michael,” she admonished.

“You’re not my mother,” he snapped, “Because she would never say these things to me and she…”

“She?” Mary motioned him to continue when he trailed off.

Rip whispered, “I don’t know where she went after the Time Masters were destroyed.”

“For all you know,” she noted, “She’s dead.”

He nodded.

“One more person you claim to love who you failed,” Mary told him.

“Mother…”

“No, you don’t get to call me that anymore,” she told him sharply, “Only someone who would care to look for me can call me that.”

“I looked,” Rip whispered.

She ignored him continuing, “Only someone worthy of the love I gave deserves to call me mother and you are nothing more than a worthless pathetic failure.”

Trying to move to her, pain stabbed in his legs and Rip cried out, Mary shook her head before she disappeared.

 Rip realised suddenly he was hallucinating. Which considering he’d seen three people who’d disappeared, one of who was definitely dead, meant his brain was not functioning as it normally would.

“Head injury,” Rip murmured to himself, “But that doesn’t explain hallucinations this vivid.”

Taking several deep breaths, Rip hunted through the emergency pack lying beside him for some water. He took a few sips from the canteen, realising he could smell something on his clothes. A strange sickly smell that he hadn’t noticed before and grimaced, “Bollocks.”

The booby trap wasn’t just an energy blast, they had included a hallucinogen probably activated the moment Rip had walked into the engine room of the station, to disorientate the victim while the pirates raided their ship. If it was the one that he thought it was, then it was going to get a lot worse before it wore off. Rip knew he was not the poster child for good mental health and dreaded what else his subconscious would dredge up to taunt him with.

Suddenly remembering he had a courier, Rip looked around to find some components to see if he could modify it to signal Gideon.  Rip groaned finding it smashed beyond repair, so there was no way it was going to open a portal to the Waverider. He had to find a way to make it sturdier if he survived this.

“Focus,” he murmured to himself, “Focus.”

“You always could focus.”

Rip felt the knife in his heart and tears fill his eyes, “No.”

“Now is that any way to greet your wife?” Miranda asked sweetly.

Raising his head Rip stared at the woman before him, the woman who had stolen his heart before he’d even realised that he liked her.

“Miranda.”

“My darling husband,” she smiled at him before noting, “You look terrible by the way.”

Rip closed his eyes, “Not you, please not you. I can’t hear the things I feel about myself from you.”

“Oh, Rip,” Miranda whispered, “It’s only the truth you’re being told.”

“I know you loved me,” Rip whispered, tears slipped down his cheeks, “It’s one of the only truths in my life.”

“Are you sure?” Miranda asked, “Because let’s face it, dear you are not good with people. And I was taught to lie just as much as you were. In fact, more since I was raised by the Time Masters from a much earlier age.”

Rip winced, “Don’t…”

“I’m not saying it wasn’t fun pretending to love you,” Miranda mused, “When you are focused on doing something well, you really work at it but…” she trailed off with a smirk.

Remembering how he’d managed to get rid of the hallucination of his mother, Rip looked up at the beautiful women he’d loved in a way he’d never known himself capable of.

“I love you,” he whispered before he deliberately moved his leg sending a stab of pain through his leg.

As Miranda disappeared, Rip dropped his head and wept.

 Managing to stop his tears, Rip forced himself to concentrate on working. His resolve instantly dissolved at the small voice piping up, “Daddy.”

“I can’t do this anymore,” Rip cried, “Please stop.”

“Don’t you miss me, Daddy?”

Looking up Rip saw the earnest face of his son looking down at him and whispered achingly, “Jonas.”

“Don’t you miss me, Daddy?” the little boy asked again.

“Every day,” Rip breathed, “I miss you every day.”

“Then why did you leave me?” Jonas asked a confused pout on his face, “Why weren’t you there when the bad man killed me? Why didn’t you stop him?”

Rip stared at him, no longer able to cry, “I tried, Jonas. I tried so hard for so long. I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I’m sorry.”

“You don’t deserve to be forgiven,” the little boy scowled at him, “You deserve nothing.”

Reaching out for his son, Rip whispered, “Jonas…Jonas…Jo…”

The world spun and Rip fell into blackness.

                                 *********************************************

 “Gideon?” John called as he scanned the area, “Are you sure this is where the beacon came from?”

“I am, Mr Constantine,” Gideon replied, “The Time Sphere should be within view soon.”

John sighed, the problem with being the only member of the crew who knew Rip was alive was that Gideon expected him to go searching without any back-up when the idiot got himself into trouble.

“Why is he using that and not the Time Courier, which would let him step from place to place?” John demanded, “Isn’t that much easier?”

“Captain Hunter prefers to use the Time Sphere as there is a possibility someone may try to follow him through the portal back to his base of operations,” Gideon explained before adding, “An issue the Legends have experienced.”

Continuing along the path, John finally spotted the Time Sphere or more accurately what was left of it. Running over, John grimaced finding Rip trapped and unconscious with blood dripping down his face.

“Damn it, you crazy bastard,” John snapped, “What the hell did you do this time?”

Crouching down beside his friend, John checked for a pulse, relieved to find one. Slow but it was there.

“Gideon,” John said, moving junk off Rip, “I’ve found him.”

“Excellent, Mr Constantine,” Gideon said, relief evident in her voice, “Is he injured?”

“It’s Rip,” John replied wearily, “Of course, he’s injured.”

The man in question groaned, murmuring something about not being able to take it anymore.

“Typically,” John continued before Gideon say anything, “He’s also pinned beneath parts of the Time Sphere, I need to get things off him then get him to the med bay. From the look of it, he’s going to be in a lot of pain and possibly bleeding heavily.”

The portal to the medical bay opened beside him and Gideon told him, “I am waiting for you.”

John grimaced, he pulled the loose bits of kit out of the way before managing to shift the seat pinning Rip to the ground off the other man, releasing his legs but unfortunately this meant the wounds it had been pressing on began to gush blood.

“This is not going to be pleasant,” John murmured as he gripped Rip under his arms, “But hopefully you’ll stay unconscious, and Gideon will have you on the good drugs soon.”

Pulling Rip out of the Sphere made him cry out but thankfully he didn’t waken. John managed to get him into the medbay then onto the medical chair and attached the cuff to Rip’s wrist.

Gideon instantly began to scan Rip, sedating him and started the healing process.

“I suggest once you clean up the blood on the floor,” Gideon said, “That you get something to eat and drink. I shall contact you once Captain Hunter is awake.”

John sighed, grabbing a cloth he gently patted his friend’s shoulder.

 “Captain,” a gentle voice invaded the blackness, “Wake up, Captain.”

Rip squeezed his eyes shut, he couldn’t do this anymore. Not with Gideon, she was all he had left. Why couldn’t he stay unconscious? Why did his mind have to torture him like this?

“It’s alright, Rip,” she continued, gentle fingers stroked his hair, “You’re home.”

Slowly opening his eyes, Rip found he was in the parlour of the Waverider with Gideon sitting at his side.

“Are you real?” he asked softly.

An amused smile touched her lips, “That is a discussion we might wait to have until I am sure you are well enough to debate.”

“You know what I mean,” Rip frowned at her, “Am I hallucinating you or am I on the Waverider?”

Gideon squeezed his hand, “You are currently in the medbay, under my care and sedated so you stay put.”

Relief filled him.

“From your blood work, you were exposed to the hallucinogen, SL27,” Gideon spoke up.

“I knew it was something potent,” Rip sighed, looking at her sadly, “What I saw…”

“Was not real, Rip,” Gideon reminded him, “It was your subconscious fears brought to life, voiced by people you would listen to.”

Rip stared at her, he wanted to rest just for a short time with his best friend before he had to leave once more but unbidden the question slipped from his lips, “Did Miranda love me?”

“Oh, Rip,” Gideon whispered, “Of course she did. Miranda was deeply in love with you.”

He shook his head, “I know, I do know but…”

“The hallucinogen you were exposed to has played with your mind,” Gideon sympathised, before stating, “I have something for you from my memory banks that will help.”

Rip frowned confused jumping in amazement as Miranda appeared before him dressed in her wedding dress with a worried frown on her face as she paced a small strip in front of him.

“Is something wrong, Lieutenant Coburn?” Gideon asked her, “Are you having second thoughts about the wedding?”

Miranda shook her head, “No. I can’t wait to marry Rip. I love him more than I knew I could love anyone.”

Rip felt tears fill his eyes but stayed quiet as the scene played out before him.

“Then what is concerning you?” Gideon asked.

Sighing Miranda confessed, “That by marrying him I’ll be holding him back. I know Rip is destined for great things. I don’t want to be the reason he doesn’t reach his potential.”

Gideon turned back to Rip and hugged him tightly as Miranda disappeared.

“She loved you,” Gideon reminded him.

“I’ve never felt as alone as I did when the vision of Miranda suggested she never loved me,” Rip took a shuddering breath in, “I thought I was going to die there.”

“You are never alone,” Gideon assured him, “And I will always come for you, my dear Captain.”

 Rip dressed after his shower, happy to be home wishing he didn’t have to leave again but he knew the team needed Gideon to guide them more than he did for now. Besides the noise they made hid his work from those who would try to interfere.

“Your new Time Courier is ready, Captain,” Gideon spoke up, “And Mr Constantine is waiting for you in the parlour.”

“Thank you, Gideon,” Rip gave her a quick smile.

Grabbing his freshly laundered duster, Rip rested his hand on the bulkhead before he walked up to the bridge where John was waiting for him.

“Thank you,” Rip said, “For coming to help me.”

“Gideon gave me no choice,” John told him, an amused smile touching his lips, “But you’re welcome.”

Rip chuckled softly, “I’m assuming the team are visiting family or taking a break while you’re here.”

“Actually, they’re in the middle of a mission,” John shrugged, “Gideon assures me she can return the ship to the exact same moment we left.”

“She can,” Rip nodded, “And I should let you go.”

“Captain,” Gideon said softly, “You do not need to leave so soon.”

Stroking the central console beneath her avatar, Rip sighed, “I do. The longer I’m here, there is a greater probability that the crew will discover my survival.”

Taking a deep breath, Rip picked up the bag with the supplies Gideon had made for him before tapping a few instructions into his courier.

“Gideon, please reset the preferences within the base to allow me access via portal?” he asked.

“Of course, Captain,” Gideon told him.

“John, thank for finding me,” he said to his friend, “Take care of Gideon.”

John shook Rip’s hand, “I will but I don’t want to have to save your sorry arse again, so be more careful.”

“I’ll try,” Rip gave a slight sardonic smile, opening the portal he left the Waverider once more hoping it wouldn’t be for too long.

[kiwi-muses]

Kanej WIP

I’m not entirely sure if I’m going to go anywhere with this but I’ve been enjoying working on this little fic in my downtime. 

-----

It had been a few days since the fight, and Inej could tell the wound was getting worse. It was entirely her fault, for neglecting it, but in her defense, others had more serious wounds that needed attending to. Or, so she had thought. Now, she was beginning to think her wound was more serious than it initially led her to believe.

The slash was across her waist, long but not deep. She had done a quick wrap, but had forgotten to seek attention from an actual medik after she saw to the children from the slave ship. The next evening, she began to see flickers - someone walking by her just out of sight, but when she turned, no one was there. It made her uneasy. The next day, the visions got worse and Inej felt warm. Inej knew something wasn’t right when she was seeing Matthias - he was dead, and he couldn’t possibly be on her ship but there he was, right across from her in her cabin, talking to her.

They were two days from Kerch when the visions became nightmares and began to haunt her. She thought she could make it. She thought wrong.

Kaz was going about his day to day business - balancing the books, breaking some noses, and the like - when a man he had never seen literally ran into The Crow Club. It wasn’t often someone ran into the building (though people often ran out of it) and it had Kaz raising an eyebrow. The man looked around wildly, and when he caught Kaz’s eye, he made a beeline straight for him. Kaz straightened as the man came to stand in front of him. “What business?” he asked, using the customary Kerch greeting despite this man not looking as though he was from Kerch.

“I need you to come with me,” said the man. He was tall, with dark hair and dark skin, much like Inej, and had that same lilt to his voice as she did. Kaz supposed he must be Suli. He was broad shouldered with strong arms, but not too tall. Kaz could tell he was nervous, constantly twitching like he needed to be in motion.

Kaz raised an eyebrow. “Not likely,” he remarked dryly.

“Please,” he said, “I need you to come to our ship. The Captain said if anything went wrong we were to come and find you.” Kaz furrowed his brows. There was only one captain of one ship on his radar, and certainly only one that might have any measure of trust to send someone to him.

Maybe it’s someone different. Maybe she sent another ship your way. “What exactly did your Captain say? Why didn’t the Captain come to me personally?”

“The Captain said if something went wrong, we needed to find Kaz Brekker - he’d be in a suit with a crow head cane, with eyes the color of bitter coffee. The Captain didn’t come because… the Captain is the problem, sir.” Kaz was beginning to get a bad feeling in his gut. The man looked around, leaned in a little closer, and said in a whisper, “There’s something wrong, and we had to contain the Captain. There was no other way, and we don’t know what to do.” Kaz very nearly growled as his eyes narrowed, and the man backed away from him. He felt that white hot fury prickle in his chest at the thought of Inej being contained, of being caged.

“Leave here, and I will come as soon as I am able.” The man clearly wanted to argue, but self preservation won out as he looked into Kaz’s shark eyes, and he departed as quickly as he had come. Kaz called for one of his new runners, an orphan Inej had saved that had nowhere else to go. “Go to the Van Eck mansion, and tell them to meet me at Berth 22.” The runner nodded, and quickly ran off. Kaz waited a few minutes, the picture of calm, before he got his coat and headed to Fifth Harbor, his mind racing with the possibilities.

Kaz wasn’t used to this panic, this unsurity. He never went into a situation without all of the information, every bit of gossip he could find. Granted, that had been harder since his Wraith had left him and the Dregs a year ago, but Dirtyhands never let that stop him. There wasn’t much that could bring his Wraith down, and the fact that something brought her down enough that she could be considered a danger to her own crew made a chill run down his spine. She loved her ship, she loved her crew. He remembered the day she set sail. It had been a month after her parents had arrived in Ketterdam, and she and Specht had spent the month gathering a crew. He hadn’t seen her much as a result, but Inej had come to see him the night before she set sail for the first time. He’d been at his desk and he felt that familiar shift in the air. Without turning around, he had said, “What business?” There had been a moment of silence, and then a quiet, “I set sail tomorrow.” He had turned around then. She’s been on his windowsill, the light of the moon dancing across her hair, and he’d had another moment where he believed in magic. “What’s your plan?” he rasped.

She settled in on the windowsill. “We’ll spend a month at sea, learning to operate as a crew. Then we’ll head to the Ravkan coast - the caravans will be traveling through, so we can drop off my parents and start hunting the slavers.”

Kaz smirked. “Efficient.” A smile flickered across Inej’s face.

“I know you don’t do goodbyes, so I figured I wouldn’t see you at the docks tomorrow. But I wanted to thank you, even though I still haven’t found the words for what you have done for me.” Her gaze was steady, and it made him feel warm.

“This city owes you for what it did to you,” he remarked. “I just made it pay up.” Inej looked at him, and he felt as though she saw right through him.

“You did this, not the city, and I will not forget that. I am not done here, Kaz Brekker.” She slid off the windowsill and made her way towards him, and his heart began to pound inside his chest. She stopped next to him, and he looked up at her as she knelt down to his side until she was eye level with him. “I am not done with you, Kaz.” His heart was galloping inside his chest as her eyes bore into his, and then she was leaning towards him. As gentle as a breeze, she pressed her lips to his cheek, and his heart felt as though it stuttered and died. She pulled away, and his body had no chance to roil in disgust at the contact of her skin, just revel in the softness of her. He brought his gloved fingertips to her cheek as she gave him a gentle smile, and then she left the way she had come, silent as the night.

Kaz reached back to that evening when the days were hard, when he needed to remember her. As he walked to Fifth Harbour, he felt that flint in his chest getting ready to strike, ready to ignite that white hot fire, if Inej was anything but perfectly well.

----

Inej knew her crew had put her in the brig. Truthfully, she couldn’t blame them after she had thrown a knife and almost hit Maji, a young boy that had joined their crew. She had been aiming for someone else… but they weren’t real, and the knife had been, and lodged itself in the very real wood of the ship. After that, Inej surrendered her knives even though it ripped something apart in her. However, it was often forgotten that the Wraith didn’t need knives to be dangerous. After she attacked the crew member who tried to look at her wound, she was tossed in the brig for their protection.

“You set sail to help the frightened girls like you,” a familiar gravely voice said. “It seems to me you just managed to frighten them in a different sort of way.” Kaz’s voice, that had been a balm to her, was a mockery. He’s not there, he’s not real. But Saints, he sounded like he was right next to her. She peeked at him past the curtain of her hair; it had long fallen from it’s braid in her struggles against the imaginary. He was standing just outside the bars.

“I knew when I gave you this ship it would be a waste.” He clicked his tongue. “I figured you’d last a touch longer though; afterall, you were the Wraith.” The past tense, the mockery - it became too much and she lunged forward, grasping the bars. Kaz didn’t flinch.

“I am still the Wraith. This doesn’t change that. It doesn’t change that I am the deadliest knife wielder in Ketterdam.” Kaz stared her down.

“It seems to me you’re just a prisoner, someone meant to be caged, whether by silks, or knives and crows, or bars. Stop trying to be something you’re not Inej.”

She could feel the tears running down her face as she pushed away from the bars, and turned her back to him. Having the voice she trusted most give volume to her fear was too much, and her heart couldn’t take it after the last two days. The first time Kaz showed up, she’d thought she had just slept through the rest of the voyage and somehow made it to Ketterdam. Her heart had stuttered seeing his familiar face. He could help her - he would figure out why she had seen Matthias, why she had seen others long dead. Kaz had looked her in the eye, and said, “Little Lynx, caged yet again. That certainly didn’t take long.” She had backed away, her breath catching in her throat at the sound of the name in the tenor of his voice.

“You don’t call me that,” she had whispered.

Kaz had laughed. “Why not? Just because I didn’t use your body doesn’t mean I didn’t use you just the same. You were a means to an end Wraith. I have my regrets about giving you up, that’s for certain.” Every word had suffocated her more and more, her eyes clenching shut and she tried to make sense of what he was saying. But when she opened her eyes, he was gone, and Specht was standing in his place.

“Where’s Kaz?” she had asked. Specht furrowed his brow. “I just saw him.”  

“Captain, he’s not here. We haven’t even made port in Ketterdam yet; we’re at least a day and a half out.” Specht was concerned, she could see, but she was too busy trying to make it all make sense. If they hadn’t made it to port, it couldn’t have been Kaz there. But who was it?

That had been at the beginning. By now, Kaz had returned to taunt her, giving voice to every insecurity, every question she had ever asked herself.

“Did you think you were going to be able to undo all the terrible things you did?”

“You know, you’ll never escape your past. Once a little lynx, always a little lynx. How long until a slaver ship sinks you and takes you back? I bet you’d make a great prize.”

“I’m the king of the barrel - I’m not sure how you could ever think I’d want someone like you. I could have anyone, for any reason I choose.”

It was a special kind of torture, for Kaz to be her tormentor. Matthias had remarked that he’d thought she’d been good deep down inside, but she’d turned out as horrible as the worst of them. And it had hurt, but from Kaz it was like having her own knives turned on her. She wasn’t sure how long she could stand this slow torture, this persistent torment. She prayed for her Saints to grant her oblivion.

[hongism]

Hyello, okay so. I don't have the emotional energy to take in and discuss everything in that chapter so imma just gush over the info cause I am a ✨whore✨ for world building.

So obviously MOC SPOILER

hi bestie HELLO guess WHO!!! finally ANSWering!!! altho im gonna answer separately and space everything out all Neatly bc im all over the place so strap IN we’re going on an moc RIDE!

THERE'S A WHOLE SIREN COMMUNITY?! AND YN AND IT MUST BE WOOYOUNG WERE FRIENDS? SIRENS HAVE A FULLY FLEDGE COMMUNITY WITH PRIESTS AND SCHOOLS AND MULTUOLE CITIES TO SOME EXTEND??? MAYBE EVEN AN ENTIRE PLANET WITH SIRENS MAYBE THEIR ORIGIN PLANET? HOW MANY TYPES OF SIRENS ARE THERE AND IN THE COMMUNITY HOW DTRICT ARE THE DIFFERENT ROLES?!?! ALSO DOES THE SIREN COMMUNITY ALLOW FOR DIFFERENT TYPES OF SIRENS TO BE TOGETHER? OBVIOUSLY THEY SHOULD BUT ARE THE CHILDREN THEN HYBRID TYPES, LIKE WHEN WE GET BLUED DARK SKIND BABIES OR CAN A SKREN ONLY BE ONE TYPE. WHAT POWERS DO SIRENS HAVE AND DOES THE POWERS REFLECT THEIR PERSONALITY AND DO THE DIFFERENT TYOES LEAN TOWARDS CERTAIN JOBS. LIKE WE JUST LESRNED THE OCEAN GOTTA BE PRIESTS BUT MOON ISNT STRICT WHAT ABOUT FIRE. AND IS YN INSTIC TO PULL OUT A HEART CAUDE HER PERSONALITT, TRSUMA OR IS IT RELATED TO THE MOON. ALSO CAUSE ITS A RED MOON WHICH IS COMMONLY A BLOOD MOON, IS YN THEN A SPECIAL MOON SIREN AND THATS WHY HER POWERS ARE STEONGER OR HER INSTICTS TO USE THEM ARE STORNGER BUT THEN THE MILITARY FUCKED HER UP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

now this is the thing im biting my tongue on SO HARD bc it’s my favorite aspect of the world building and the universe and everything involved in it bUTIHDFKJG THERS SO MUCH I WANNA SAYYYYYYYYYY in short that one dream sequence holds more hints and information than ANYTHING from previous chapters, i think that it’s probably the MOST IMPORTANT dream to date. while we’ve seen some crazy ones in the past, this one is both the biggest hint and the biggest window into y/n’s past by FARRRR. even tho that whole scene was dialogue i think there’s so much to pick up on from it and so much to see and learn from it and it’s one of my faves bc there’s so much to unpack from it !!

Like yes the story and the development is freaking ✨yes✨ I love it. Genuinely think moc should be released as books. But I just cannot deal with the emotions rn.

But also now all I'm going to be thinking about how many sirens are actually out there. And if yn knew her parents and wasn't just an orphan the military found in the streets... How the fuck did she end up in the military grasps. What happened to her parents what happened to the community, is it still out there? Guess I gotta go back and reread the galaxies and the backstories, obviously I must have missed or have forgotten something. Ugh how the puzzle pieces are puzzling (or something). Moc is a drug and I'm not going sober anytime soon

(obviously you don't have to respond to my questions, this is more just an insight into the spiralling of theories going on in my mind)

releasing moc as books? a dream and a half, i can say that much slkjdlgkjlkf but back to the sirens... how many are out there? we heard early on that hongjoong was looking for ‘the last five’ but then seonghwa debunked that and said that was a mistranslation over time that was passed down and such, but beyond that, we don’t really know much about sirens as a whole? there are some hints in the galaxies and planet descriptions but if that dream sequence is a puzzle, i would say we have a handful of pieces that can be put into place based on what we’ve learned so far!!!!

Okay I lied, I am ready to unpack a little of the ✨emotions✨

When hongjoong explained that hwa tried to stop San only for San to detain him and in a sense make him watch the scene unfold. And then realising hwa had to go through that again, only being even more helpless. I don't doubt hwa loves San, but to see the events happening again, with someone he clearly loves as much as he does yn even if he also loves joong, and to see the desperation and determination must have been just. Horrible. Just absolutely soul breaking horrible. I can imagine him vowing to himself after San that he would never let something like that happen again. That of any of the crew got out of control like that, that he would fight harder to stop them. That he would would do absolutely everything in his power to stop it. And then being helpless as he watched yn do it. Just pure heart wrenching pain. And it must have been beyond terrifying to see someone you love ready and determined to kill themselves partly from rage and partly from desperation. With the backstory, that scene becomes almost as cruel as the warehouse scene with San. The only redeeming quality is no one needing life saving surgery in a time crunch, otherwise they would be the same level of ✨never again✨

honestly i think the two crew members i torture the most are san and hwa bc i just keep putting them thru all this shit and hurting them so much but really this was the defining point of why seonghwa was so afraid. before we kinda just knew he was afraid of yn and hongjoong was mad about it. in this revelation we get to see the source of the trauma and how it was amplified by it being someone he loves as dearly as he loves yn. and for sure when first reading that scene of yn and jisung in the brig, it’s meant to evoke a sense of anger and rage like yn is so angry to a point where she would do this sort of thing, but my hope with that scene was also to show that desperation. that when looking back at it after having already seen the rage and the aftermath, that reading it again shows how desperate and hopeless she was in that moment. which is exactly the same emotion that was evoked back in that warehouse scene with san, except it was relayed differently because the warehouse was a more immediate sense of desperation. this brig scene was meant to emulate that but in a slow burn kinda way where the veil of realization is pulled off after the fact and not in the moment!!!

Just to make sure you don't misunderstand. Those asks were compliments. You are an absolutely incredible writer. And the fact that you aren’t afraid of hurting your characters *cough cough* SHOOTING SAN?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!? *CLEARS THROAT AGRESSIVELY* just makes the story much better. No one gets plot armour, making it more realistic (?) and really draws in the writer and sorta imitates the fear and desperation the characters feel

PLS don’t worry, i live for every moment and i live for these open and raw and genuine conversations i didn’t take any as an insult i PROMISE!! i think part of the nature of this whole trope of space pirates and criminals is that hter is no guarantee of safety! i don’t wanna have to cut corners to make sure everyone stays unharmed and undamaged throughout the story when the nature of the world i’ve built thus far is a wildly dangerous one!!! i always say that i try to be as realistic as i can, all things considered, and i think that’s the biggest thing that adds to the ‘realism’ in my mind so im so happy to hear that you see it and appreciate it and enjoy it!!!

OHOHOHOHOHOH ALSO

YN GRIPPING SOMEONES HEART??? YOU WRITE THAT SO FUCKING WELL. LIKE ENIGUH DETAILS THAT WE KNOW WHATS GOING ON, BUT ALSO NOT SO MANY DETAILS SO IT GETS DETACHWD FROM THE STORY. LIKE THE LACK OF CLEAR SUPER MANY DETAILS REALLY MADE IT THAT *YOU ARE EXPERIENCING THIS, NOT JUST READING IT* LIKE IT MADE IT WAY MORE EMOTIONAL AND OERSONAL AND THE READER REALLY GOT IMMERSED IN THE MOST HORRIBLE WAY THAT KUST MADE IT ALL RHE MORE BETTER. ALSO JOONG AFRAID????? JOONG REALISING HE GOT A FULLY FLEDGED HEART RIPPER SIREN WHO CANT CONTROL HER BODY TO MOVE THROUGH A HARMLESS DOOR BUT CAN DEFINITELY KILL IN A HEARTBEAT (OR TWO 👀) ALSO THE CONTRAST OF REMOVING RHE BLOOD COLOURED WHITE OLASTIC AND HAVING A CLEAN HAND UNDERNWATH. THE SYMBOL OF IT ALSO BEKNG A TRASH CLEANERS SUIT. LIKE SHE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO ACTUALLY USE THE TRASH PROTECTION DUIT FOR ITS INTENDED PURPOSE. ALSO THE OART WHERE SHE SAYS SHES FINE EVEN TJO SHE ISNT. AT FIRST I READ IT AS HER TELLING HERSELF TO LIE BUT THEN I REALISED ITS HER ADMITTING SHE VERY MUCH ISNT. AND SAN NOT KNOWING???? AND KISSING HER HAND AND UGH AND SEONGHWA KNOWING. I BET HE'S LOWKEY GETTING MORE AND MORE AFRAID OF HER. LIKE YN IS READY TO KILL HERSELF AND ANYONE AROUND HER TO KEEP SAN SAFE. AND SHE INSTICTUALLY GOES FOR THE MODT AGRESSIVE METHOD POSSIBLE. IHHHHHHHHHHHHH I FUCKING LOVE YOU AND YOUR WONDERFUL WTITING AND YOUR TWISTED MIND THAT CAN CREATE ALL THESE FUCKING SCENES THAT GOT ME THUNKING AND FEELING ✨EMOTIONS✨

truly one of the HIGHLIGHTS of the chapter simply bc of how shocking and sudden it is!! for me, that was one of the easiest scenes to write in the chapter, oddly enough? it was something that when it came time to write it, i knew how i wanted it to be and was able to just sit down and write it out the way its written in the final draft of the chapter. i really love playing with those aspects of fiction and storytelling. tangible to a point, without spelling it out. i think it’s obvious that i really love delayed realization in writing, but i really like playing with how the brain processes information and for me personally, i don’t pick up on things right away! i can realize them in a snap or it can take me a bit to go ‘oh god that’s what happened’, and i like playing with that in y/n’s character a LOT.

and in that same vein of thought, there are some layers to that scene as well when compared to the door scene. in the door scene we saw hongjoong clearly tell y/n ‘you need to do this to save san’ yet she wasn’t able to do it despite trying and believing hongjoong. then in the heart scene we saw y/n clearly tell herself ‘you need to do this to save san’ and she did it then. so there’s a lot at play in that parallel alone too. and with that internal monologue she has of im fine vs not fine, then san kissing the hand that touched a literal real actual beating heart for me that was a sort of self indulgent scene and i was really worried about it coming across as too cheesy or something like that, but that is something that’s gonna impact y/n as a character and her relationship with san when they have the conversation of ‘oh hey i put my hand through a man’s chest for you’

i think part of why this chapter was so difficult to construct and write as a whole definitely is because of all the undertones and nuances throughout, and in a lot of ways it’s so so much to even think about that it’s almost too much packed into one chapter alone, but even if you don’t pick up on all the nuances throughout, i’m hoping to revisit them and bring them back around in that delayed realization style again bc that’s one of my favorite things to do ofc :3

[shebeafancyflapjack]

Defrosting Grumpy Three (a Season 8 meta)

I keep thinking about how Season 8 of Classic Who is almost like the first one the show has to a ‘season long arc’ that I don’t feel gets talked about enough. Obviously everyone knows it as “the one where the Master is in every story” but I feel like there is a subtle character arc for the Doctor in this season as well which is tied to the two main characters introduced in the first episode; the Master and Jo Grant.

I’m not the first one to point out that out of Three’s five seasons; this is the one where he’s at his most grumpy and short-tempered. I know a lot of people point to this season as reasons for why they don’t like Three and I totally get that, he’s a real git sometimes, in particular the first and last stories. There are moments where he’s asking for a slap and, no, I’m not talking about him claiming to be buddies with Chairman Mao and a Tory MP. Because I would’ve thought it was obvious that he drops those names purely to gain trust of these people who don’t trust him (at least that’s my headcanon because it doesn’t fit with the anti-capitalist, anti-pollution, anti-imperialist writing). Just him being constantly ungrateful to the Brigadier, snapping at Jo, or just being childish in the most ‘kid throwing a tantrum’ way possible.

But it’s easy to get why. By Season 8 he’s been trapped on Earth for we can assume at least a year. New Who fans who’ve seen the Power of Three and saw how crazy Eleven went when he tried to stay on Earth to study the cubes just for a few days/weeks know the Doctor can’t stand staying still, especially in one time and place. In his first season he could be short-tempered but slightly less so. In Spearhead he’s quite polite and motivated, though that could be the most pleasant form of Post Regeneration Trauma he’s been through. Plus he had Liz, who you can see he immediately clicked with. A fellow genius who finds herself out of place or treated a little unfairly as a female scientist surrounded by men, both of them willing to sass the Brigadier when he deserves it. He also still keeps trying to fix the TARDIS, as if convinced this won’t be as permanent as the Time Lords intended.

But by Season 8 (or you could say even before that, in Inferno) his attempts clearly haven’t succeeded past slipping into a terrifying parallel universe, and now cabin fever is setting in. And Liz, his science bud, has gone off and left. And while it’s sad we didn’t get a goodbye between the two of them, her passing remark towards the Brigadier about the Doctor just needing someone to pass him test tubes and fill his praise kink maybe implies that, at least from Liz’ POV, they weren’t as equals as Three thought, or she didn’t feel that fulfilled working with him, even if she did appreciate him as a friend. 

So enter Jo to replace Liz, who is everything Liz wasn’t. Liz had to study and work her way to her position; Jo is a spoiled girl who got to play spy by sheer nepotism. She failed A level science and doesn’t have the same sharp-wit he and Liz shared. Three is mean to her even before she introduces herself as his assistant when she only tries to help, and doesn’t hide his disappointment when she tells him. Perhaps it might also be that she reminds him of his companions before Liz; she’s cute and perky like Zoe and also loyal and determined like Jamie, even though she lacks Jamie’s physical strength and Zoe’s genius. Still, she’s young and he might not want to put her in danger the same way he nearly lost his previous young companions many times in the War Games.

When Three goes to the Brigadier to try to get rid of Jo, the Brig is far more smug than in the previous season, as he seems to have worked the Doctor out by this point. Their little moment at the end of Inferno where Three insults him and tries to escape only to then come back with his tail between his legs acting all buddy has shown him who Three really is; that this whole grumpy shtick of this is just a defence mechanism while he’s so out of his depth. I like to think the Brig hoped Jo would soften him up, to bring out the compassion that was more overt in his previous incarnation, as well as just pass him test tubes and keep tabs on him. His knowing smile when he watches Three try and fail miserably to fire her seems to prove his point.

In the same story we also have the Master showing up for the very first time. He was created to be the ‘Moriarty to the Doctor’s Holmes’. These kind of ‘foil enemies’ that pop up in so many stories, where you have a villain who is supposed to be a perfect match in intelligence or skill to the hero, are more often than not presented as ‘what the hero could have been’ if they chose to be evil rather than good; the Master is no different. And even though it’s not established until the next season that the Doctor and Master used to be friends, there’s clearly an underlining fondness in their banter which hints at past feelings as well as mutual respect. It says quite a lot that Three is more relaxed and friendly during his conversations with the Master half the time they talk than he is with the humans he’s meant to be saving, or even his own close friends. Because, for all their moral disagreements, the Master is his own kind and his only link - other than his broken TARDIS - to the rest of the Universe. 

In almost every story of S8, after the Master has revealed his evil scheme only for the Doctor to point out how it will backfire on him, they have to work together or form some kind of alliance of convenience. In Claws of Axos, the Doctor outright pretends to betray his friends and elope join forces with the Master to escape, only for it to be a trick in order to defeat the Axons. But considering Three’s attitude in this season, it’s a very convincing act as much to the audience as to the humans. And then in Colony in Space, the Master offers the Doctor half-ownership of the Universe....and the Doctor clearly hesitates! Yes, the Master tempts him with the persuasion of ruling ‘in the name of good’ but Three has to take a moment to remember what a slippery slope that line of thinking is. He’s so tired of being trapped, sick of being leashed by the Time Lords, that the Master comes along as a devil on his shoulder at his most vulnerable point. Considering the last story involves the Master summoning the actual Devil (or close enough) and is also where Three’s temper seems to be at its peak seems all too fitting.

It’s also interesting that the Master’s greatest fear that appears in the Mind of Evil is an image of the Doctor laughing maniacally over him. It’s the closest we get to an image of Dark!Three in the show. To contrast; the Doctor’s greatest fear isn’t the Master, it’s the eruption from Inferno. Seeing the Earth swallowed by flame - not because of an outside force like the Daleks or Cybermen, but by humans themselves. It’s easy to imagine him wondering why he even bothers with them when they’re their own worst enemy.

(Side note; apparently the Evil Overlord in the Inferno parallel world IS the Third Doctor, according to the Expanded Universe, though I haven’t read up on this. We were robbed of seeing Pertwee play an evil Doctor.)

So while this is going on and the Master is playing his games with the Doctor while also tempting him, intentionally or not, to the ‘dark side’, we also have Jo at his side. And Jo takes all of the Doctor’s snapping and mood swings like a pro, and is very quickly overwhelmed with a lot of the stuff she’s faced which that she didn’t know she was signing up for - being hypnotised, captured by aliens, taken to alien worlds in the far future etc. She screams as most companions did at that time, but because it is what you would expect from a girl fresh out of school and throwing herself into something she clearly didn’t properly prepare for. The Doctor has to save her a lot, more than often because she tried to help only to get herself captured. As much as he does warm to her - because he’s not immune to how adorable she is - it serves to prove his point. Even when he finally gets to leave Earth for a day, she’s too frightened to want to leave the TARDIS. What good is she to him?

Now she continues to prove she has her uses. She has her escapology skills which get them out of a few tight spots. Depending on the writer, she can turn into an Emma Peel-esque agent capable of self-defence and subterfuge. And she’s always patient with the Doctor, no matter what mood he’s in, and extremely loyal. She’s also kind and compassionate with every side character she comes across. There seems to have been a backlash to these kinds of qualities in female characters in the past twenty years or so, what I like to call the Cinderella critique, where if a woman is kind and generous more so than smart, sassy and sword-wielding she’s seen as ‘weak’. Jo is always there at the Doctor’s side when he’s managed to get hurt or knocked out (Three took a lot of naps, anyone else notice this?). Even after he does whisk her away to another planet and nearly don’t make it back, she could easily throw her job away if it was too much, but she sticks with it because you can see that she wants more than anything to be useful and do good for her world - it would be another two season until she found what her own passion was with being an environmental activist but this is where she wants to start.

But it’s not until the end of S8 that we see Jo’s greatest strength and how it saves Three when every other defence he had was gone. He’s spent most of that story chastising her for believing in magic and superstition, as well as anything else he can find to snap at her for like criticising the Brigadier even though he does the same thing all the damn time (this could be seen as a ‘I can insult my bro but you can’t’ moment but it’s still not pleasant). But when he learns the Master is preparing to sacrifice her, he runs in to save her despite knowing it’s a suicide mission. He also gives a cold exchange to the Master when told he’s a ‘doomed man’. 

Oh I’m a dead man! I knew that as soon as I walked through those doors so you better watch out! I have nothing to lose, do I?

It’s a telling line that, behind all his patronising and abruptness, he’s reached a point he doesn’t feel he has anything left to keep going. He’s lost his freedom and his knowledge of time travel; but he’ll die before letting Jo die or letting the Earth burn again. When Azal claims the daemons gave humans knowledge, Three responds: Finally he’s turning his anger on the one who deserves it to save the one who has been his friend, even at his lowest points, for the past several months, while still showing his disappointment in what he’s seen of humans living amongst them:

You gave them knowledge to blow up the world and they most certainly will. They can poison the water and the very air they breathe. 

When Azal appears, he nearly makes the Master’s greatest fear come true by offering his power to the Doctor instead. And the Doctor looks horrified, immediately doing a Jon Snow and refusing it. Unlike when the Master offered him power before, he doesn’t hesitate for a moment, even though Azal’s powers could probably get his TARDIS working again in a snap. He looks almost scared at the thought of possessing something like that. Perhaps his dark persona in that other world became that way because he did take such an offer?

Azal prepares to kill the Doctor for refusing his offer, which is where Jo saves the day by offering her life for his. A lot of people dislike this ending for the idea of the villain being destroyed ‘by the power of love’ more or less, but this was a lot less common a deus ex machina as it is in New Who. The Doctor explains how it works when they’re free as:

Azal could not accept a fact as irrational and illogical as Jo being prepared to give up her life for me.

Three says it as he’s just as baffled, if also amused, by it as Azal was. Why would Jo give up her life for him? Compare that with when Ten has to give up his incarnation to save Wilf, how he rants that Wilf isn’t important but he has ‘so much more’ to give. Even the Doctor wrestles when it comes to sacrificing himself for others sometimes but Jo did it without a seconds thought, made even more illogical given Three’s often harsh treatment of her. But one thing that is obvious is that Three’s grumpy face is gone; he’s smiling for the rest of the episode, looking at Jo with quiet heart eyes, and letting her drag him into the maypole dance, conceding that she was right and there is ‘magic’ in the world. 

Much like Rose was the companion Nine needed after the Time War to enjoy seeing the Universe again and appreciating life, Jo serves a similar purpose in S8 in that she gradually reminds the Doctor through her actions of the strengths in being brave, kind and selfless. She and the rest of the UNIT family are there to remind him of the goodness in humanity and that we’re always learning and trying to improve; as Three says to Azal that ‘they need a chance to grow up’. Jo is the angel on his shoulder to contrast the Master as his personal devil; right down to having her dressed in the sacrificial ‘virgin’ garb opposite the Satanic Master to cap the season off.

Three still has his sour moments after this but he’s far less cantankerous going forward and sweeter towards Jo especially, praising her bravery and learning in future, just as Jo also grows more confident in her abilities and enjoys her adventures with him. He seems far more relaxed on Earth and less desperate to get away because of the people he has around him that make it worth staying around for. Three’s morals and loyalty to humanity might not have been so firm had Jo not been there to ground him, especially with the Master constantly there almost holding out a hand to him offering freedom and excitement. Like all good companions, she saves the Doctor as much as he has to save her, in more ways than one, which she doesn’t get nearly enough credit for. And it’s what adds to the heartbreak of her eventual exit because of the effect she had on his life.

It’s just one of my favorite tropes when a character gets better and softens or becomes kinder not because they had to ‘change for someone else’ but because they were inspired by them, especially if it’s the person they underestimated the most.

[thewildomega]

Star in the Sand Ch.18

Grumbling under his breath as he finished reprehending his crew he moved back to the walk board to go retrieve his soulmate but when he looked down to where she had been he saw no one. Growling he grit his teeth. "I said no wondering off." Marching down the walk board he looked down the docks for her but didn't see her. Knitting his brows he snapped his head around, his heart starting to beat a little harder. "Daz!" Seeing his first come over to the side of the ship and look down to him he plucked the cigar from his lips. "Is Y/n on ship?" Seeing Daz glance around then hearing him ask the others, he knew the answer as soon as he looked back to him. Snapping his eyes back to where she had been he saw the banana she had been eating on the wooden dock next to the crates. Moving over to the side he glanced to the water just to be sure. The water wasn't very clear but even if she had fell in she was an exceptional swimmer she wouldn't have...

"Crocodile..."

Looking over to Daz he saw him kneeling by the crates and moved back over. Seeing the man stand and hold out a syringe he felt his blood run cold. "Find her." was all he grit out before turning to sand and flying down the dock and onto the streets.

..............................

Groaning at the aching in your body you scrunched your eyes together a few times before managing to open them. Looking around the dimly lit room you knit your brows. Your limbs felt like the weighted a ton. Trying to move your hands they stopped short and you quickly looked down to see a set of heavy cuffs locked around your wrists. Snapping your eyes down to ankles you saw they too had shackles on them. Swallowing hard you looked back around the room and now noticed the bars... based on the rocking you knew you were on a ship of sorts... the brig of a ship to be more exact. Breathing heavily you heard a thumping and looked towards the dark stairway on the other side of the room to see a man walking down them. Hey you knew him, that was that guy from the stalls, the one that had been watching you. As he come to stand in front of your cell you saw him cross his arms over his chest and smile largely at you. 

"Well look who's awake." he said with a dark chuckle. 

"Who are you? What do you want?"  you asked, your voice soft and your throat burning.

"Don't matter who I am doll. As for what I want, well I'll be getting that soon enough." 

Furrowing your brows you saw him reach for something in his coat pocket. As soon as he unrolled it you felt your heart sink. 

"That's a mighty high bounty for such a little thing like you. But hey who am I to judge." he told her. Placing the bounty back up he tilted his head. "Would have loved to get my hands on that ex warlord of yours as well but eh.. I ain't stupid." 

Trying to hold back your tears you saw the man start smirking again. 

"Might want to save some of those tears, in a few days time yer life is gonna get a whole lot worse." 

That was all he said before he started back up the stairs, leaving you alone in the dark, cold brig. Tears rolled from your eyes and down your cheeks, choking on a sob you called out for your soulmate softly even though you knew he wasn't there. Curling up into the corner you pulled your knees up to your chest and laid your forehead on them. What were you going to do now? These men were going to turn you over to the marines to collect your bounty, the bounty you had just learned about. Would they kill you? Would you be executed? They had killed Ace because he was the son of Gol Rogers, would they kill you for your bloodline as well? It felt like your heart had dropped to your stomach. So many thoughts were running through your head that it felt like it was spinning. Surly by now Croc had noticed you missing. Was he looking for you? Maybe he would find you. As much as you wanted to stay positive your logical mind was taking over. Shaking with a sob you closed your eyes tight and placed your hands over your womb. "Crocodile. Please fff...orgive me. I..I love you..." 

.................................

There was a horrible clenching in his chest. They had searched the whole island, all through the night and next day but still his star had not been found. It was like she had just disappeared without a trace. They had even started searching houses, the thought that someone was hiding her crossing his mind. As he walked through the streets again, his eyes looking over every face he stopped when he heard yelling.

"Captain!"

Looking around he saw Ori come running up to him, the boy out of breath. "Did you find her?" he asked, his voice sounding desperate no matter how hard he tried to hide it. 

Shaking his head he looked up to the terrifying man and swallowed thickly. "N..No sirr b..but..."

"Speak up boy!" he yelled. Noticing the boy flinch he grit his teeth down on his cigar. He knew the boy couldn't help it and his darling had gotten on him before about snapping at the boy for his speech impediment but his nerves were too raw at the moment. 

"Bonez told me to c..come get you Sir. He..said ittt's important." Ori forced out, attempting to keep his stuttering to a minimum. 

Sighing he nodded. "Alright. Keep looking." 

"Yesss ssir." 

Without another moments hesitation he had stalked back to his ship and to his cabin when Hex pointed him in that way. He didn't like the seldom look on the man's face. Throwing open the cabin door he saw Daz standing there, a look of remorse on his face. No. Please no. "What did you find?" he asked, his voice deep. Bonez had always had a sense of sarcasm to him but the man said nothing as he handed him the paper. Dropping his eyes to it he slowly reached out to take it. His mind already had an idea about what it was he was getting ready to see but he shoved it away. Turning it over to where Daz had already folded it to he felt his breath catch in his throat. 

"Firelocks Y/n Captured. Bounty Collected."

He couldn't bare to read more than the headline, the paper turning to ash in his shaking hand. 

Seeing his captain just standing there as still as a statue he let out a sigh. Crossing his arms over his chest he blinked slowly. "She is being transported to Impale Down as we speak." nothing, not even a blink. Dropping his head he closed his eyes, "I'm sorry Crocodile." was all he said before he left the man to mourn. As soon as the door closed and he had made it a few feet away he heard the sound of things being broken and knocked over. Heavy thumping and banging filled the air of the ship but no one said a word. Nodding to Hex he saw the man go out to collect the remaining crew so they could leave. In truth they would all be lucky if Crocodile didn't disintegrate the whole ship and leave them to the sea. Sitting on one of the crates Daz let out a deep breath as he listened to his captain's rampage go on. He couldn't blame him, he knew his pain all too well. Loosing one's soulmate and child was a hard burden to bare. 

Breathing heavily Crocodile moved over to sit on the knocked over desk and dropped his head to his hand. She was gone. His love was gone. He had failed her again... and their child. There was no getting her back now he knew that. She was going to that hell. She was being sentenced to that dreadful place. It should have been him. He should be the one going to prison. She had done nothing, she was innocent. She was meant to be punished for being born... for loving him. He knew the truth, there was no way she would survive in a place like that. She was going to die, his unborn child was going to die. Before he could stop them tears were leaving his eyes. He felt them run down his cheeks and across his fingers and clenched his teeth hard to keep his unwanted sobs from ringing out. I'm sorry. "I'm so sorry my little star."

...........................

The wind blew harshly as you walked off the navy prison ship and down to the dock of doom. Keeping your eyes down you heard as the gate was slammed shut behind you and flinched. It was cold, your sundress doing nothing to keep you warm. Being led into the prison you heard the screams and cries of others around you and swallowed thickly. Following the jailer known as Domino into the prison you were first moved into a room to remove your clothing. Glancing to the guards most of which were men you tensed up but reluctantly did as you were told and removed your dress, bra and panties watching them get thrown into the fire. 

"The locket as well." Domino spoke.

Snapping your eyes up your hands moved to your locket and you felt your lip tremble. 

"Come on we don't have all day." one of the guards spoke. 

Screaming out when the whip was brought down on your back you clung to your locket and felt tears roll down your cheeks. Hearing the clicking of boots you looked down to see two shiny black boots standing in front of you and slowly looked up to see Domino there. When she held her hand out you sniffled and brought the chain over your head, handing it over to her with trembling hands. You thought she would toss it to the fire but she didn't. Not having time to question it you were yanked over to another part of the room. Realizing what was next you clenched your teeth. Being shoved down to the stone floor you covered your breasts as best you could, keeping your legs closed while a thick chain was wrapped around your ankles. Hauled up you glanced down to the boiling water under you and closed your eyes. Your thoughts went to Crocodile, he had went through this same thing and you knew from what the manga had said that he hadn't made a sound. Be like him. Be strong like him. Repeating the words in your head you felt the chain drop and held your breath however you proved to be much weaker than your soulmate. Being pulled out of the caldron you let out a broken scream, your skin already feeling burnt and blistered. 

Everything else that happened seemed to pass by in a blur, the 'baptism' making you feel faint. Dressed in stripped prison clothes that hung from your frame you walked along with Domino and one other guard who had to catch you as you stumbled  a few times. Getting to an elevator you rode down you don't know how many levels, listening to people screaming. What level were you to be imprisoned in? When the elevator stopped you followed Domino down a dark hallway until she got to a large wooden door and knocked three times. A few seconds passed before the door opened and you were pushed inside. Stumbling to a stop you heard as Domino spoke to someone and then heard that person say your name. 

"Ehh... Firelocks Y/n huh?" 

Slowly looking up you saw none other than Hannyabal there. He was dressed differently than he had been in the manga and it was then you realized he had gotten Magellan's job. So he was Warden now. He looked to have put on some weight as well. Glancing over his office as he went about looking over what you guessed was your file you saw your locket had been placed on his desk and stared at it. At least she hadn't tossed it away. 

Reading over the woman's file he looked back and forth between her and her bounty, checking off that it was really her. Seeing her looking towards the locket that Domino had said was hers he rose a brow but said nothing. "Did she give you any trouble?"

"Other than handing the locket over at first command sir no."

"So forcibly taken?" he asked the blond. 

"No. She handed it over to me." 

Humming he reached for a pen only to knock it from his desk. 

Seeing the pen fall to the floor in front of you you reached down to pick it up out of habit but let out a cry when something hard hit your shoulder. 

Watching as the guard hit the woman with his baton, knocking her to the ground he knit his brows. Seeing a small shaking hand reach up to place the pen on his desk before the officer hit her forearm with the baton again, yelling how she didn't move unless told to he heard the woman cry out but not reply. "That's enough. Leave me to get her settled." he said. 

Slowly standing again you took in a shaky breath, your shoulder and arm throbbing in pain. You could hear as they went about talking but couldn't really make anything out, your eyes moving back to your locket on his desk. 

Getting all he needed from Domino he closed his office door and walked back around the woman who was standing there silently, her lidded eyes focused back on the locket. Moving to sit in his chair he grabbed the pen from where she had placed it and lifted it to write. "State your name." 

"Y/n... L/n...." 

"Wouldn't it be Charlotte?" he asked as he wrote. 

Feeling your brow twitch you blinked slowly, "I suppose." 

"Crimes?" he asked. 

Feeling a clenching in your heart you forced your tears away. "Being born." 

Stopping he glanced from the bounty to her. Funny, to be the Granddaughter of the notorious Big Mom and the daughter of Killer Dunes she didn't look dangerous. Actually he thought she was pretty frail looking. Most prisoners here started giving everyone problems the moment they were dragged in but she had not fussed once. The young woman had even picked his pen up for him when he dropped it. Knowing she had been affiliated with Crocodile, one of the prisoners who had escaped the prison before he let out a sigh. Her eyes had not yet left the locket and as he lifted it he saw her small body tense. It was a simple gold locket, old he guessed by the ware on it. Hitting the button on the top of it he saw it open to show two different pictures on each side. One being an old picture of a man, woman and baby. He knew the man to be none other than Killer Dunes, her father. The other side of the locket set a sketch of Crocodile. It was hand drawn but it was good enough that it almost looked like a photograph. "Why him, why Crocodile?" he asked and saw her eyes drop, her fingers fettling with the hem of the baggy prison garb. 

"C..can't help who you fall in love with..."  you said in a soft voice. Just thinking about your soulmate that you would never see again made your heart shatter even more. 

Ninety-nine million berry bounty just for being linked to the wrong people. This woman was doomed from the start. She didn't choose this life. Looking her over he let out a sigh. She wasn't likely to make it a month here. Especially since they had her in...glancing to her paper he knit his brows, level five. Scratch that, she wouldn't make it a week. Snapping the locket back close he held it out for her to take. Who was he to take away what would be the last bit of peace she would ever have. 

Hearing the snap and glancing up you were surprised to see him holding the locket out for you. Thinking it may be some kind of trick you didn't move at first but then he pushed it to you more and you reached over to take it from him. "Thank you." 

Nodding he watched her put it back on, seeing her wince as she had to move her no doubt sore body. Once she had it tucked under her shirt he stood from his desk and moved around to stand beside her. 

Being led down another level you at first wondered why Hannyabal didn't take you by elevator but he soon spoke up. 

"You are being sentenced to level five, the freezing hell. Personally I think it's a bit much but it's not my decision to make. Enjoy this last bit of warmth while you can."

Still remaining silent you heard as the screams slowly faded away, only the sound of your rattling chains filling the air around you.  As the two of you came up to the large door you could feel the chill seeping through and hitting your bare feet. Taking a deep breath as he reached for the handle you closed your eyes as the door opened, the frigid cold wind hitting your burnt skin. Hannyabal didn't rush you as you walked on the frozen land with your blistered feet. Your body was already shivering violently and your teeth chattered together so much you thought they would crack. Walking by some of the cells you saw prisoners in some of them that looked to be frozen completely. Dead, they were dead. That was your fate. Continuing on you heard as the fair few of prisoners that were still breathing started cat calling you but you only grit your teeth and kept your eyes down. 

Taking pity on the woman he placed her in one of the cells that received the least amount of wind and was mostly cut off from all the others. Opening the cell for her she again gave no fuss as she walked into the cold freezer. 

Ignoring the men as they continued calling to you you walked over to the bench on the back wall and curled up on it, facing the wall. Hannyabal said nothing else as he left you to your doom. 

...........................................

Screaming out as the long blade sliced through his skin and bone he fell to his knees, his right hand clinging to where his matching one had just been. Looking up at the emperor he didn't get time to speak a word before the man was swinging his weapon again, this time slicing open his face. Feeling the warmth of his own blood run down his face and seep into his clothes he shook as blood lose took over. 

"You come back to the New World again and I'll remove more than your hand." Whitebeard warned before turning his back to the arrogant punk and walking away with his crew. 

He didn't much know of anything else that occurred only the agonizing pain he felt as he came back to consciousness. Looking up he realized he was in the cabin of his small ship, laying in his bed from what it felt like. Trying to move he found his limbs heavy. He could see the bandages wrapped around his face out of the corner of his eyes. At least he could still see out of both. Glancing down to his left arm he looked to the spot his hand should be but saw nothing there. The numb remaining was wrapped in a thick amount of bandages that were spotted here and there with his blood. Hearing a noise he looked back forward and saw the ship's medic coming towards him. 

"Wasn't expecting you awake yet." the man said. "Here drink this." 

Feeling the man help him sit up and press a cup to his lips he greedily drank at the water he offered. Once he had had his fill he leaned back and groaned as he settled back onto the pillow. Glancing to the left side of his large bed he felt his brow twitch when a thought crossed his mind. "Y...y/n..." he managed to croak out, his voice sounding hoarse. Looking to the man's eyes he followed them when he glanced to the floor beside the bed where a small form was curled up under a spare blanket. 

"She wouldn't take no for an answer. Screamed and hollered until we finally let her in. Boris has a right nasty bite to prove it." 

Huffing at the information he sighed. As the medic gave him something for pain and made his leave he glanced down again to the sleeping body on the floor when he heard her small noise. Watching her move her hand to rub her eyes he swallowed thickly. "I've told you about biting." he said, his voice still horrible sounding. Still though he saw two sea blue eyes snap up to his own. 

"Croc." her tiny voice called. 

As she stood quickly and moved to his bedside he blinked heavily. Watching as she looked him over, her little lip trembling and her eyes filling with tears he breathed out. "Y/n..." Watching as she curled up to place her head on the bed beside his right bicep he heard her start crying, the sound breaking his heart. "Come here." When she made no move to get into the bed with him he forced his body to move, gritting his teeth as pain radiated throughout his body. Dropping his right arm he scooped her up and used all of his strength to lift the five year old up onto the bed. When he went to situate her with his left hand like he normally would he grunted in agony and heard her gasp. 

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." she cried. 

Holding her still when she tried to move away from him he slid his left arm up and laid her down in his side. "Hush now. It's alright, don't cry." 

"B..but yourrr h..hurt..." she sobbed, curling up into the nook of his side. 

His arm was too heavy to hold up so he rested it across his chest and settled for stroking her head with his fingertips. "I'll be alright." he told her. Seeing her still so upset he licked his dry lips. "You know what would make me feel better?" he asked, cracking one of his eyes open when she looked up to him with her teary eyes. Turning his head away from her some he heard her sigh.

"I'm not a baby anymore I know It doesn't work like that." she told him in a soft voice. 

"It used to work for you.. how do you know it won't work for me?" he asked and then felt her crawl up to peck the part of his cheek not covered in bandages. Grinning as she settled back down beside him, her head laying on his chest he glanced into her eyes and felt that calmness come over him. "See I feel better already." he said and saw her give him the tiniest smiles before it turned into a yawn. "Get some sleep my little star." Making sure she closed her own eyes first he swiftly followed. 

Opening his eyes again however when he heard a noise he let out a gasp when he saw what was now laying beside him. It was Y/n but she was no longer a little girl nor was she the y/n he remembered. This Y/n had dull grey eyes that were sunken in with dark shadows surrounding them. Her cheeks were completely hollowed out and her lips were chapped and thinned out to the point they were bloody. Her soft hair that was before such a fiery red was now dry and almost a greyish brown in color. It looked as if all the life had been drained from her. 

"You let them take me. You didn't protect me. You didn't protect us." 

Hearing her words he dropped his head down to her stomach that was now slightly rounded under the striped prison clothes. Snapping his eyes back up to her he felt his heart hammer in his chest and his mouth dry out. "No...I didn't mean for it to happen..."

"But you let it. You failed me. You are my soulmate, you were supposed to take care of me. Didn't you love me?"

Nodding his head he felt that lump forming in his throat. "I did. I do."

"If you loved me then why did you let them take me?"

Closing his eyes as they filled with tears he heard her continue. 

"Look at me, look at what I've become! I'm dying, our baby is dying and it's all your fault!"

Snapping his eyes open with a start he bolted up in bed, the blanket pooling to his waist. Looking around the dark room he closed his eyes and moved his hand to rub his face when he realized it had all been a dream. Another nightmare. 

"The last part was you, your own mind taking over." 

Tensing at the sudden voice he readied himself for a fight but when he looked over to the chair and saw the witch, one of the fates there he growled. "And just what the hell do you want?" he all but snarled. 

"Me? Oh I just heard you thinking about all the what if's here lately and decided to show you what it would have been like if one of those were a reality."

"So mental torture then." he huffed as he got up from bed to go get something to drink. Pouring himself a large tumbler of rum he downed it in one go before filling it up again. His own pain reliever. 

"Like I said the last part was all you." she spoke but he didn't respond. Watching the middle aged man for a time she saw him stare at the charcoal picture framed on the shelf. "You miss her dearly don't you." 

"Why do you ask questions you already know the answers to?" he spoke in a stale voice. 

"It's been almost four months Raiden." 

"So your point is what?! I should just get over her?! She is my soulmate, my other half, my... my everything..." his voice although starting off strong and full of anger quickly became nothing more than a quiet sigh. 

They sat in silence again for a while again, her listening to his thoughts until she spoke. "Yes. The answer is yes, she is still alive."

He didn't know wither to feel relieved or grief. While he was glad his darling was still alive it also meant that she was still in that hell. What state would she even be in? 

Tilting her head at the war going on inside of the man's head she sighed. "Would you like to see her?"

Snapping his eyes to the witch he furrowed his brows and swallowed hard before giving a stiff nod. Watching her boney fingers come up and give a snap he was suddenly freezing. No. Not here. Why? What had she done to be put here? Looking around the frozen wasteland he heard voices and followed them. 

"Come on girl. Come over here and I'll warm you up." 

"I know you're hungry.. I got some scraps here, you can have em' if you come suck my cock." 

Gritting his teeth and snarling at the vulgar men he looked into the cell they were all reaching into and saw her. His heart dropped to his stomach when he took her in. Moving over to the bars he went to grab them but passed right through them. Walking over to the bench she was curled up on he glanced her over. She was dressed in the god awful black and white stripes, the ones they had given her practically falling off of her. Her whole body was trembling, her bare feet curled up under her, attempting to keep them warm as best she could. It wasn't windy in here at least but that didn't make it any less cold, he could see the flushed look of her exposed skin. Crouching down beside her he leaned over to look at her face and saw her eyes open. A knot formed in his throat when he saw the frozen tears stuck to the bridge of her nose and her lashes. They almost looked like the ones from his dream, all of the shine and happiness gone from them. Glancing down to her cheeks and then body he saw her skinny and closed his eyes. He knew the truth there was no way their child had survived and even if it had he wouldn't want it to be born into this. The babe would freeze to death the moment it was born.

Hearing her sniffle he looked back to her face and lifted his hand to try and stroke her hair but no surprise, he couldn't touch her. Following her eyes he saw she was staring at her locket that she had opened and placed on the bench in front of her face. Seeing the picture of her parents there and then the small sketch of himself he pressed his lips just above the skin of her temple and closed his eyes again. "I love you my little star." 

"It's time to go Raiden." 

Shaking his head he held his own head above hers, desperate to touch her. "I want to stay, I want to be with her. You can do that, send me to her. I'll go back to that hell as long as I get to be with her."

"No. It is not your fate." 

"I don't care, I don't..." with another snap of her fingers he was back in his own room, the chill from the prison vanishing. Dropping his head low he felt those damn tears drop from his eyes once again. 

...........................................

Laying on the frozen bench which might have well been a piece of ice you shivered, clenching your teeth to keep them from chattering. How you hated the cold. It was so ironic that this was to be the way you died. After all this was how you almost perished all those years ago before Vic found you. Must be fate catching up with you. You couldn't feel your fingers, toes or ears anymore. While you knew you would be much warmer if you had the shared heat of the other imamates you chose to suffer the biting cold versus being raped. Pulling your legs up more and wrapping your arms tighter around your middle to hold what little heat you had around your womb you sighed. Truly you didn't know if you and Crocodile's child still grew there but you had yet to bleed from miscarriage. You also suffered from nausea still even if you never actually threw up what little food you had managed to take in. Pickers can't be choosers.

Sighing out you saw the breath float into the air and stared again to the picture of your love. Your thoughts often went to that of your soulmate. You wondered what he was doing now? You wondered if he missed you. While it hurt your heart to think of him with another you wouldn't want him to be alone forever. You wanted him to be happy and if that meant loving another then you would be okay with that. You wished him a happy life, even if that no longer included you being apart of it. Perhaps if you were lucky and if whatever higher power there was took pity on you then the two of you would be reunited one day after the both of you left this earth. Then again what if he had found another, wouldn't it be right for them to be together. Swallowing thickly you closed your eyes and felt tears fall from your eyes. It was best not to think about that. No matter where he was or what he was doing you just hoped he knew how much you loved him. 

"Hurry the guards will catch on soon." 

Hearing the unfamiliar voices you opened your eyes and turned over some when you heard noises growing closer. 

"Run faster." 

Seeing a group of people run by you knit your brows. The group of people were dressed differently than other prisoners and guards and it was then it hit you, The "Prisoners' Secret Flower Garden. Listening to the prisoners in the cell beside yours beg them for food or to be released you blinked slowly. Going to turn back over you heard someone let out a small yelp and then heard a thump. Turning back you noticed the person had dropped a crate with what looked like fruit in it. You couldn't see much but you could make out a hand currently picking up the dropped fruit and placing it back in the crate. 

"Oh blast this slippery ice." the male voice cursed.

Seeing two of the fruits had rolled into your own cell you turned your stiff body to stand and picked up the apple and coconut before walking over to the bars. Looking down to the man that was crouched down looking around for the fruit you licked your cracked lips. "H..here you go." God your voice sounded awful then again you hadn't used it in who knew how long. As the person looked up to you you felt your breath catch in your throat. 

Snapping his eyes up to the weak female voice he saw a small woman standing there behind the bars holding out two fruits for him to take. Blinking he stood and looked closer at the woman. "You are giving them back to me?" 

Nodding you moved your shackled hands out between the bars to give Bon Clay back the fruit he had dropped. He looked just like he did in the manga and you gave a tiny grin before your lips fell back down.

Taking the fruit slowly he waited for her to try and attack him but none came. Once he had taken the fruit she moved her trembling hands back behind the bars. She looked at him for a moment before she turned to go back to the bench in the back. "W..wait. What's your name?" 

Looking back to him you took in a shaky breath, "Y/n." 

He had seen her before, somewhere but where? "Do you and I know each other?" 

Shaking your head you saw him tilt his head. Hearing the yelling of guards and the howling of the wolves you swallowed and dropped your head. "You should go." you told him, looking back up at him you watched him lift the crate again. Clinging to your locket you blinked again. "It was nice to meet you Bon Clay." 

She knew his name. How did she know his name? Before he had time to ask he heard the snarling of a wolf. Grabbing one of the apples he tossed it to her and took off running. 

Awkwardly catching the fruit you looked down and then back up to watch him runaway. Stumbling back to the bench when one of the wolves looked at you you curled up on it, hiding your apple away until the guards were gone. Once it was clear you lifted it again, looking over it's red color. 

"Hey. Hey baby I'll give you my shirt for that apple."

"Give it here you worthless Bitch."

Continuing to ignore them you took a bite of the fruit and sighed at the taste. While you wanted to savor it you were too hungry and quickly at all of it, including the pit. Not feeling nauseous you gave a huff and moved your arms back over your belly, so you like fruit like your daddy huh? you spoke mentally and gave a small grin, laying your head on your knees you let your mind drift away again, carrying you to a happier place. 

[beblade-a]

@livingprophecy​​    /   mal’s letters aka zee choose death 🥰

i'm sure by now you know that i was reassigned to a new unit. i would have told you myself that i was leaving, but you didn't look like you wanted to see me. i couldn't blame you. part of me thought i'd be back soon enough, and maybe by then you'd stop looking away when we were in the same room. that's looking less and less likely by the hour. they say this new position might be more permanent than anyone expected. you know how these leader types are, they can never make up their mind about anything. i probably shouldn't tell you that, though. the last thing i need is you reprimanding me in writing.

shit, sorry. getting off topic. the point of this is, i don't know when i'll see you again. maybe i should have talked to you before i left. said something. i know you wouldn't have listened, but it would have been better to get it off my chest then. except you're too stubborn for your own good, and i didn't want you to hate me for pushing you more than i did that night. i couldn't help you the way you wanted me to, and maybe that's on me for being too willing to see what you didn't want anyone else to. i'm never going to regret the choice i made then, you needed someone to tell you to stop. you deserved to be able to grieve. you still do. i'm just sorry it pulled us apart.

there's a lot i didn't say then that i guess i should say now, but the trip was long, and daylight is ending soon. i'll write again. you haven't gotten rid of me yet, nik. looking forward to hearing from you too, if you can find time in your busy schedule to pick up a pen for me. but i'll understand if the masses keep pulling you down with a hundred more complaints about needing softer blankets and more salt for their slop.

best regards, mal.

p.s. sorry, that last part was a joke. i think i'm getting worse at them.

/

it's safe to say most of us underestimated just how long we'd really be here. the most "permanent" has ever meant is a few weeks, at most. just enough time to prove we've got numbers on our side, just enough to spill a little blood on both sides.

that was grim, sorry. i don't want this letter to be about that. here i was, ready to talk about the beauty of the mountains and how the air tastes different here than it did there. sometimes i forget this all leads back to war anyways, but it's easier to let yourself get distracted by the small pleasures in like. the first rays of sunlight and how they cast shadows over giants, the way plants bloom here that are strangers to what other forests have held. i wonder if you'd let yourself see this place the way that i do, if you'd love to lose yourself in it the same way. i remember you once said you wanted to see the ocean, and how your eyes lit up when you described it. i hope it makes you feel the way being on mountain tops has made me feel: at peace and just a little more alive. i think you deserve that, after everything. i know you do.

maybe we can see it together sometime, if that's not asking for too much.

speak to you soon, mal.

/

a few weeks passed since i last wrote. sorry, i guess i got caught up in everything. you know how it is, the work of a tracker is never done, etc. etc. not that i mind the work, of course. i'll take the fresh air and clear skies over being stuck in a stuffy tent with a bunch of soldiers any day. i still don't envy your meetings and boring talks of treaties that never go anywhere, or the way they always seemed to cut our mornings short at the worst possible moments. it's a miracle dominik didn't resort to anything worse than glaring at me for making you late, i always thought he'd get me thrown into the brig just for being annoying in his presence.

i still think about him sometimes. more than sometimes. i heard he had family close to the capital? you'd know more about that, i suppose. it feels stupid, but i feel guilty that i didn't know him better. did he laugh at stupid jokes, did he turn his head up towards the sky when it rained, did he see an end to this war? it doesn't seem fair that you're the one who has to carry him. someone else should remember him. i pray you learn you don't have to shoulder this burden alone.

but that's not what i was writing to you about. or, rather, wanted to write to you about. are you even getting these? i hope you are, but i know how tricky sending mail is. it once took five months for one of alina's letters to get to me, you know, so it wouldn't surprise me if you never saw these.

i met some people. well, if you could even call them people. they're idiots, really, the both of them. added onto my unit just last week, though i don't think they know a thing about tracking. that's fine, though, they're good guys and it's easier not to fall into thought with their incessant babbling going on in the background. it's hard to get close to people in times like these, but they seem too harmless to keep away. hopefully they get to stick around for a while, but we can't be sure of anything, can we?

that's all i had to say, i suppose. i'll end it here before this gets any longer.

take care, mal.

/

i think about how we left things. should i have pushed more, come to see you when i knew time was running out for us? it didn't seem to be within my right. we always knew this would end somewhere, just ships that pass in the night, but the tide seemed to carry us further away than i’d anticipated. it’s hard to wrap my head around how awful it felt when they gave out my orders, the way it seemed time was hacking me to pieces when all i wanted desperately was to help you keep yourself together. but you wouldn’t even look at me in the days that led to that moment. it was like i stopped existing for you, and you couldn’t see me as i floated away.

this isn’t to say i blame you. i don’t. saints, i don’t think i could ever place the blame on you for anything. but we were friends, right? if nothing else, we were friends, and now it feels like we’re nothing. the memory of your hands on me is a ghost that lingers, the proof that it wasn’t all just a dream. it’d be easier if it was. then i wouldn’t have to lie awake at night, wondering if you’re reading these. if you are, i’m sorry. i don’t blame you, i swear i don’t. grief is a monster that claws through all of us, and you lost the most important person that you had. if one day i got word that alina was gone from this world, i would destroy myself in that pain. but you had to watch him go, you have the memory of that now.

i’m sorry. if you get nothing else from this letter, just know that i’m sorry and i’m still here. if you need me, i’m still here, nik. i know it isn’t much, but it’s all i have to offer.

your friend, mal.

/

all of my writing seems to be reserved for you and alina. i don’t have anyone else, i guess, but that’s okay. they sent me out again, caryeva this time.  it’s only for a few weeks, but i don’t mind traveling to this one. alina’s here, said something about the cartographers trying to make sense of the caves. i don’t know how much sense they expect to make of her drawings, but, hey, she’s here. so that means that all of my writing is reserved for you, at least until i have to leave again.

i'm sorry about the last letter. i shouldn't have sent it. that's one i really hope you didn't get, but i guess you wouldn't know that if you aren't getting any of them. there's only so much i can keep bottled up, though, and it's not like i can tell anyone else about you. i've thought about telling alina, a few times, but then i look over at her and forget how to breathe and thinking about you gets a little harder to do. it's always been like that with her, though, but i can't put words to the feeling when she's the one i'm talking to. she's familiar, like you were for those few months. like you'd still be if one day we met back in the middle of this war.

princes go on to do princely things, and our story probably ended already, but i'm just unlucky enough to be stupidly optimistic. i see an end to this war, and i see you becoming a great leader,  and i see it all unfolding in front of my eyes. see? stupidly optimistic. it's alright, though. someone somewhere has to have hope. why not let it be me?

your stupid optimist, mal.

/

we left caryeva this morning. just me and the poor idiots who came here on their way to make the journey back to sikursk. i hugged alina so tight i think i would have broken bones if we'd held on any longer, but she didn't complain. just wiped the tears away and called me stupid, in that same tone she uses when she's not trying to make things sadder than they are. i missed her the moment my back was to her, my feet carrying me hundreds of miles away from her again. the ache never left me when i was with her, but she makes everything easier. now she's gone again, and i can't help but let the loneliness creep back in.

i'm an orphan, did i ever tell you that? it's hard to say, never comes out quite right. like saying "i have nobody who cares about me" or "everyone who should have loved me is dead." that's what people look at me like, at least. pity and sadness and the way the war keeps taking and will keep taking more. but that's not true. i have someone. her. we've always had each other.

i have alina, and i still feel alone.

you haven't responded, or you never got these letters, or you did and haven't even read them. i don't know which one makes this more painful. doubt muddies everything and the lack of answers rips away any security i had in what we had. but what did we have? a few nights of stupid choices, where i could have drowned my troubles away in anything but you chose me and that felt good enough to mean something? i said i wouldn't blame you and that's still true, i can't put this on your shoulders on top of everything else. mostly, i blame this war.

i've thought about not writing these anymore. they don't make me feel closer to you. they just make the distance seem longer. but i don't want to leave you alone. i'm sorry, i don't know what else to do.

i suppose i'll keep on holding hope for a little longer.

running out of things to put here, mal.

/

it's late, and the stars are shining high above, and i can't sleep. dubrov's snores could shake the mountains, but that's not why i'm awake. i stopped believing you're getting these, so i guess it doesn't matter if i say it now. i miss you. being with you was easy, which is why i know it was never real. what we had only ever existed in my head, and you forgot about me the moment i wasn't around anymore.

were we friends, nik? were we at least that?

i have to believe we were. because if we weren't, what does that leave me with?

i never thought i'd get to keep you but a part of me was looking for a happier ending, a more satisfying conclusion. you were the first thing i didn't want to run from, that i didn't even realize you were never there with me to begin with.

all i’ve said in these letters is sorry, but i can't apologize for this one.

mal.

/

it'll be a year tomorrow.

by the time you get this, if you get this, it'll be longer than that.

i can't help but think about you sitting in your tent, alone, shoving that grief down as the time ticks by. or do you drown your sorrows in someone else, the next petty face that catches your eye? is it wrong to say that? i don't know. and you're not reading these anyways.

that's not fair to you. i told myself i wasn't going to be angry writing this one, and saints know i still ache to think about you feeling any of that grief alone. but it's been a year, and it could be two years, and i know that this is it. you're never going to write back, and i suppose that's on me for expecting you to.

i'm sorry. i'm sorry that i'm mad and i'm sorry about dominik and i'm sorry i let you push me away when all i wanted was to be there. i can't go back and change that, i don't even know if i would want to. were you always so stubborn, or is that what you told yourself you had to be?

please let someone in, nik. even if it's not me.

mal.

/

i should stop writing these, but you know how it goes. one more letter turns into two, two turns into a chest full of them. there’s no telling if i'm sending these to the right place anymore, if you've moved on. they said they'd find their way to you anyways, but that's hard to put any amount of faith on. there's too many unanswered letters for me to make up my mind on what's happening to them.

i keep thinking that you might have found someone else and can't help being jealous despite knowing it's probably for the best. maybe we can both find something to keep us feeling a little more human, a little more whole.

if i kiss someone and all it does is remind me of you, does that still count as trying to forget you?

swallowing the idea that one day you might disappear from my memory is hard, though i shudder to think of the alternative. nobody tastes like you. the only person who's ever made me laugh like you did is alina, and even my love for her is different. it doesn’t burn like yours did. like it still does.

what i'm trying to say is: i don't think i can forget you if i tried, but saints i wish i could. and i hope it’s harder for you to forget about me than it is to ignore these letters.

everything i have left, mal.

/

this was supposed to be an apology for something, but the words won’t come out right. here it is, nik. by this point, i’ve spent more time being ignored by you then i ever got to have you. if you never get these letters, i hope you spend the rest of your days thinking i forgot about you. if you did, i hope you never read this one.

you said i could keep you as long as i wanted, and i wanted to believe that was true. so much that i put my heart in your hands. even though we never called it love. there was always a part of me that knew it was a mistake. i understood then that it was a lie, just like i know now that you're never going to write back. i gave you my heart. i gave you everything. i should have asked for it back when i tucked my things away that final night.

i said i wasn’t going to blame you, but then that just means we’re both liars.

you should have looked away that day our eyes first met. you should have told me to leave when all i wanted was to spend every waking moment right next to you. if you knew we didn’t even get a chance, that you were never going to keep me, you should have pushed me away before i felt your teeth sinking into my heart.

maybe we were both naive and stupid, but you always knew, didn’t you? i did too, but you can’t tell a lovestruck boy what he can and can’t do with his feelings. that’s what it is, isn’t it? i cared too much and you cared too little, or you just didn’t care about me more than you cared about letting me go.

war has never been kind but it feels less cruel than what you’ve done to me, and if i were to die tomorrow at least i wouldn’t have to think about you anymore.

saints, let your memory be purged from my body.

/

this isn't a letter. this is a eulogy. and an apology.

i don’t want to hate you, but hate pours out when i write these. there’s nothing healing about wanting to say my piece to you, and getting nothing back. like arguing with a wall. at least i’d know if a wall was there. so, this is the last one, nikolai. there’s nowhere else for me to put my feelings down for you, so i’ll bury them in this ink and move on.

if i loved you once, i can no longer separate that love from the pain your absence has caused. there is nothing more empty than being faced with your silence, no greater frustration than knowing you’re out there somewhere and we walk the same earth on startlingly different roads. you were never mine, and i was always yours. but you didn’t ask for my love, and i’m sorry i gave it so easily. a lesson for next time.

i hope you get to see the ocean, nik. i hope whatever doubt that lives in your heart can be replaced by something or someone else. if one day i hear that you’ve done great things with your life, i want to hear your name from the mouth of a stranger and think only fondly of our times together. you deserve all of the love a country can give for a great prince, and an even greater man. but more than that, you deserve to be happy.

maybe someday, when we’ve both found a place to put our love, we can meet again. maybe by then we’ll be ready to call each other friend.

i won’t hold my breath, but i choose to believe there’s a silver lining here somewhere.

goodbye, mal.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Multipart Commission work - Harry Hook x Reader - part 8 - Cotillion night

@musicarose​

=

You had been dragged into the chip shop to watch the cotillion with the crew, seated between Harry and Gil. the red carpet moment was playing, the press asking a billion questions. Jane appeared on screen, dressed in a chiffon periwinkle blue dress with a pink bow on her hip, her loosely curled dark hair cascading around her shoulders.

“Jane where Is miss (y/n)?!”

“We haven’t seen her tonight do you know where she is!?!”

Somehow Jane lied smoothly, though you could tell she was nervous.

“she came down with a cold and decided to stay back in the dorms for tonight, sorry!”

You winced in sympathy for Jane, not knowing if mal and ben had lied to her or not, but she continued onto the ship, Lonnie appearing just after her.

As the night went on, Mal finally appeared, Ben soon after. You could feel how tense they were through the tv screen. But soon Ben revealed the stain-glass window for Mal.

She gasped in awe, and moments later she and Ben shared their first kiss believe it or not.

The crew around you yelled and taunted at the tv Mal and Ben.

“ugg” you saw a random patty be thrown at the screen “prissy traitor” you heard harry mutter from beside you, you took the chance to glance at him. He sipped on his flat soda, glaring at the screen.

So in their eyes, Mal was a traitor….with what you’ve seen of the isle and how she hadn’t tried to get anymore vks off (which you admit wasn’t her job but Bens. but with her being a vk and knowing the struggle of her fellow vks you’d think she'd try to get the program moving) their viewing of her made sense.

You hadn’t noticed you were zoning out, staring at Harry's face. He looked at you with the corner of his eye, his brow raising as he saw you staring at him. “yeh good lass?” you blinked and shook your head, looking at him confused for a moment.

“um-yeah sorry, zoned out” harry hummed and popped a fry in his mouth.

“did you have a dress all ready to go (y/n)?” Gil asked, slurping up some eggs.

“Yeah, unfortunately, I won't get to wear it” you murmured, starting to eat the tray that Uma had tossed in front of you. The fries and the fish sticks weren't that bad honestly, which is probably why Ursulas chip shop was pretty popular.

“surprised your not gagging princess” Bonnie taunted, stealing one of your fish sticks. You shrugged, popping another fry in your mouth.

“im not picky, I used to eat dirt when I was a kid so” Bonnie eyebrows shot up.

“you ate dirt?” she laughed, looking kind’ve impressed.

“well, ya know! You’re a kid, your curious, it looks like crushed up oreos so…you just kinda…ate it? And then your mom would sprint over and make you spit it out” harry snorted on his drink, the soda going down the wrong way.

He let out a wheezing cough, you winched and watched as the tall teen with the braids punched his back “sh*t lass, don’t just say stuff like tha’” he chuckled, hitting his chest a couple of times.

“But I really didn’t say anything funny?” you were kinda confused. What was funny about that?

“it was just the way yeh said lass” he snorted, patting your head and going back to his food.

“UMA!” you jumped in fright, gasping as you saw Uma step out from the kitchen, her entire body was tense. Harry picked up his hook and looked toward the back room, halfway out of his chair. “COME HERE YOU TWERP” Uma let out a shuddered sigh and walked into the back room with her head held high.

“the hell” you muttered, yelping as Harry grabbed you and started to rush out of the shop “what's goin-“

“yeh don’t wanna know lass, EVERYONE OUT!” the pirates around scattered, the crew following behind Harry's lead, knowing uma wouldn’t want them around.

You gasped as you heard a crash from the inside, and an older woman screaming. You wanted to rush back in but Harry completely grabbed you and lead you away and onto the ship.

=

Later, Uma appeared in front of you in the brig, she had a growing black eye, a limp and a couple of bruises scattered around her body, you leaped up and dug into our bag, reaching through the bars to her.

she looked down at your hands confused, her eyes widening as she spotted the medical supplies.

“what are you-”

“take them” you urged, pressing yourself against the bars to inch closer to her “please” she glared at you.

“I don’t want your help” you huffed, glaring back, surprising Uma.

“but you need it!” you yelled, “you’ve been hurt by someone whos supposed to protect you, this is something that shouldn’t happen and I want to help you….please” Uma stared at you for a moment before reaching out and unlocking your cell.

You took the chance and ran out, stopping in front of Uma and cupping her face gently, she flinched slightly and leaned back, her breathing stopping as you gently turned her face to get a closer look.

“tch,” you grabbed your bag and grabbed some Neosporin, uncapping it and squirting some on your finger, reaching up to Umas face and spreading it on a large sucker looking bruise.

You and Uma sat in silence as you treated her wounds, grabbing some bandages you wrapped her heavily bruised thigh that was beginning to bleed.

“…Mal lied to me about you” you muttered, Uma snorted and rolled her eyes, leaning back on her palms.

“of course she did….what did she say exactly”

“that you were after the wand for wold domination, that you were your mother's puppet, that you didn’t care about anyone but your self. But with everything I've seen, everything you’ve done, Mal was lying” Uma looked down at you as you stared down at the ground.

“you want the wand to free all the kids who've done nothing wrong except be born to people who have done wrong, as soon as I learned that the people here had kids I knew that you guys did not deserve to be here, hell, Im the one who convinced Ben to finally use it as his first proclamation!” Uma just stared at you as you ranted, before humming.

“what will you do then?” you looked up at her in confusion “what will you do to help”

You went silent, continuing to stare into Umas golden flecked eyes.

“….ill write your demands” Uma didn’t expect that her jaw-dropping open slightly “you don’t know exactly what you need, you only know the basics, you may ask for food, medicine and clothes, but with the jerks on the council they would go behind Ben's back and send expired medication, just past the expiration date food, and fabric that could hardly be worn for this type of weather on the isle.

I know names, brand names, I can make sure you get the good things, actual clothes, if needed good fabric, and real medicine and supplies, let me help you”

Uma smiled, a real one, she stood, holding out her hand for you to take “it’s a deal princess, and in return, you'll be under our protection, and part of the crew”

You grinned and took her hand, standing with her, and nodded.

“I won't let you down Uma, I will make the isle a little more bearable until Ben gets things moving, I promise”

--end of part 8--

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Lu Vresha Eend Howyethnsch

[Excerpt] Long after the lives of the lovers had past, the kingdom fell to ruin, stuck by a great disaster out of anyone's control. Another kingdom would rise, and fall, in its place, just as others had in the past. It would face problems like its predecessors once did, and would be given hope by the few glorious souls that rallied the masses and dared to fight for their values. Yes, the kingdom they fought for would fall too. Yes their hardship would essentially equate to nothing in the ultimate infinity of the universe. But, in their short existences, they tried and did their best to make a difference in their time. They made a difference to those around them. They made a difference in the course of history They made a difference in each other’s lives. And in their end, they had love. What other end could be more joyous than to die in love?

[Ana and Jack rejoin Overwatch. Jack finds himself becoming closer and closer to Reinhardt, who had been pining for years.]

AO3 Link

Long ago, there existed a kingdom in a forest. It was breathing the breaths of life in it's newfound status and growth. It was prosperous, stable. At some point in its history, it began a cruel conquest, fueled by the memories of it's suffering from a recent war. It feared that suffering, and sought to ensure that it would never suffer again.

-

Reinhard stood at the resting place of his master. He remembers his sacrifice. An honorable death. A death that perhaps could have been avoided if he wasn't so cocky and such a honor hungry glutton. That bit of guilt always resided in him. This is part of the reason he fulfilled his master's last duty. It was the least he could do.

It is bittersweet, but his master's unfortunate death allowed him to become a better person. It was this passed down, sacred duty given to him from his felled master that led to him experiencing and learning so much. It allowed him to meet many great people who he would never forget. It was for the gift of those memories that he would always honor his duty and answer the call. He would keep the memory of his master alive. He would not let it be forgotten.

The scans were completed a while ago, so all that was left to do was pay his respects. He left the medallion entrusted to him all those years ago on the armrest. A piece of those memories for his old friend to hold onto, memories that perhaps could have been his.

-

Long ago, there existed a forest kingdom. It was ruled by a king favored by many. He brought forth a new era. He was spurred by the memories of old stories he heard in his youth, among them, stories of a grand and prosperous kingdom. He desired to bring those stories to life as much as he could, and he did.

-

Jack stared at the photo, an old thing that managed to withstand the passage of time and preserve distant memories. So many memories, all filled with so many emotions, many of them never to be felt again, forever just a memory. Yet, it was the memories incited by that photo that spurned him in a seemingly distant past. Even in the present, they still provoked him to fight on.

Ana understood this well, perhaps even more so. Her husband, her daughter, available to her only in memories. Yet, they compelled her to continue the fight more than anything. She never needed to ask why he stared at it in silence for so long, caressing the worn edges. She knew that despite wanting more, they were still content enough with their current lives. He had kept tabs on Vincent, and learned that moved on, and was living a good happy life. She had kept tabs on Fareeha and Sam, and saw that they had come to do just fine.

All was well in the end. The ghosts who were kept alive by memories were accepting of their afterlife in the physical realm. That was, until their shared ghost had come back to life to haunt them. A recall was issued for Overwatch, and suddenly, there was an opportunity to face the present and future, to no longer be bound by the past. At least, that’s how Ana saw it. She wanted to see her daughter, even if she was doing what she had never hoped the girl would do. But, what child always listens to their parents?

She expressed her desire to Jack, just to learn that the stubborn fool desired differently. She honestly expected as much. Their time as ghosts were over. The Shrike and Soldier: 76 had to cease their existence, even if just for a moment, so that Ana Amari and Jack Morrison could face the present: the reality where their dreams were long gone, replaced by the truth, cold and hard it may be at first. Cold and hard it may even always be, but it is the truth.

She decided that she would leave, with or without him. She wanted to face reality so that she could have a decent future, what would remain of it, at least. She wasn’t getting any younger, and she knew it. Still, she tried to convince him one last time. She was his friend, and only wanted the best for him, be it a whack to the back of his head, or a hug.

“Overwatch was our home, Jack. It still is. It is our family. Are you really going to abandon it now that you have this second chance?” she questioned.

“You know as well as I do it was a lot more than just that.” he replied. There was Blackwatch, for starters. And Overwatch was an international organization with the power to help and hinder many, for better or worse. Eventually, it toppled under the weight it carried. When it fell, it was evident it was something the world no longer needed. Talon and its adversaries had bested the organization as well, proving to Jack that it could not be dealt with in the light. Yet…

“Even so, we have a chance to live, to help others learn from the mistakes we made. Will you even abandon that duty just so you can mope all day and beat someone up now and then? The dead can only affect the living so much, Jack. There will come a day when you will truly die. Will you be content to die as someone forgotten, content to die a miserable, delusional old man? You know when I’ll be leaving. You’re welcome to stay here as long as you like, and know that you’ll be missed, again.”

With that, she left him to think. He had been alone for so long, it hardly seemed to matter anymore. But, she had a point. Was he really alright with dying alone. In the crisis, he had his fellow soldiers to live and die with. He was fortunate enough to be among the survivors. In Overwatch, he did not enter the battlefield much anymore. It was indeed lonely at the top, being pulled away from his friends, family, and love. For what? He wasn’t sure anymore. Even so, he was never truly alone. Gabe and Ana were still with him, more often for work related reasons than not, but still. Vincent, the understanding man he was, still loved him despite how often he was away. Jack loved him too, still did, in a way different than before, but it was love all the same.

He considered that she was perhaps right, calling him miserable and delusional. His time as a ghost among mortals was miserable. Even as Strike Commander, working seemingly endless hours, he was able to find moments of repose. A calm night with Vincent, a huge dinner with Ana and Gabe and their families, a simple thank-you letter handed to him from a promising trainee. There was none of that as a ghost.

He missed that, more than he wanted to admit. Did he really think this was how he wanted to live? Even if he wouldn't have any of that if he returned to the living, there were other things life had to offer. He feared he could lose even that too. But, he had to try, didn’t he?  That was what he had always done. There was no reason to stop now, especially not in the name of fear. What kind of soldier would he be otherwise? A dead one, that’s what.

-

The kingdom went across the lands, conquering and destroying any who opposed it. Soon, their conquest had ended. They gained a vast amount of land, inhabited by an array of peoples. These people were now people of the kingdom, and the people of the kingdom did not suffer. The people of the forest forgot this.

-

Reinhardt and Brigitte were the first, aside from Lena, to respond to the call. After their short flight, they were at their new base, the base of the new Overwatch. Reinhardt had been there at Gibraltar before, though not often. He remembered it as mostly uneventful, but great for his tan. There, he and Brigitte met up with Winston and Lena. By all definitions, this was the gorilla’s home, and a second home to Lena. It was great to see some familiar faces. Being the only ones to have currently “officially” rejoined Overwatch, Winston and Lena were excited to give them a tour of the new base of operations. It was a work in progress, one knight and his squire would be happy to help complete.

That night, over dinner, they discussed who they thought would answer the call and show up. Winston noted that Angela and Genji were likely candidates, and Mei was en route after a trek through the Antarctic and traveling across the world. They also imagined Torbjorn would be joining, and Ana’s daughter if she caught wind of the revival. Aside from them, it was anyone’s bet as to who would answer the call. It may not be a lot of people, but it was a start, and that was all they would need. Their first mission was already set for a few months time, leaving plenty of time for people to answer, and to work on the base.

Torbjorn was the next to arrive, to the great joy of Brig and Rein. His engineering expertise was invaluable. After that, came Mei. Only Torbjorn and Winston knew her beforehand. Tracer, Brig, and Rein had found her very agreeable, very clearly a wonderful woman who would fit right in. She became incorporated into their friend group in no time. After her, to everyone’s surprise, was Echo, renowned creation of Mina Liao and overall a great companion.

Before they knew it, their first mission came and went, a stunning success. It was no surprise that Fareeha showed up at their doorstep soon after. Rein remembered her very well. She was an adorable little one who loved heroism, and grew into a fine,strong woman. He would play with her with Mcree every now and then.

While he was glad she was among them, fulfilling her lifelong dream, he could not help but feel that he was a bit alone. Among brilliant minds and an advanced AI, he stood out. Fareeha was similar to him, just a simple soldier, but much younger than him, so not as relatable. He was very close to Torbjorn and Brig as well, but he still could not help but feel that something was missing. He realized what it was when Torbjorn had bought it up one night, when it was just them sharing a few drinks. Or rather, Torb had directly said what it was.

Ana, Gabriel, Jack. Things were just not the same without them. Even as things got rough towards the end, they were still family. As Torb had put it, they were as core to Overwatch as “a nano-thermal heat sink was to a intra-dynamic processor module.” Reinhardt could only assume the man was correct. His knowledge of technology and such was minimal, just enough to keep up his armor and hammer by himself. Even then, he trusted Brig to take care of it better than himself. He was just a soldier after all. A Crusader, yes, but a simple soldier all the same. He was only taught what was necessary for battle, same as his long dead companions.

Yet, they still stood out among even the best. Rein supposed he was much the same though. By all means, he was an accomplished man. He could have retired and lived the rest of his life as a distinguished soldier during the Omnic Crisis and honorably discharged member of Overwatch. No. He decided to continue fighting on, to eventually die a warrior’s death, as Balderich had, as Jack, Ana, and Gabriel had. He imagined they would have done the same, except for maybe Ana. In all fairness, she did not have super soldier juice in her, and had a family. Rein certainly wouldn't have blamed her.

That night, as he lay in his bed, he remembered back to the days and nights they all shared together. The revelry of a victory, the woe of loss, the small moments that are difficult to remember, but the feelings they contain never forgotten. Eventually, his mind wandered to the first time he met them, there in Gibraltar.

It was a great honor to be working with them to aid in the creation of a better world for all. They all responded accordingly, in their own way of course. It was when Jack greeted him did Reinhardt swear he fell in love. He did not realize it at first, but he would realize it soon enough. He knew it was a bad idea to fall for your superior, but he did nonetheless. There was something about his smile and the way he spoke.

Hearing that the man had a boyfriend both gave him hope, and crushed him a little. On one hand, he wouldn't be pining after a straight guy, on the other, Jack was taken. Rein might wield a smashing hammer, but he was no homewrecker. Over the years, he would only fall for the Strike Commander more and more.

Yet, for all his bravery, he never told another soul. It is the simple things that time takes away: small yet warm memories, the first time he ever kissed another some time while a soldier, the voice of a friend from his youth. However, his love for Jack was not simple. Thus, it persisted.

-

The king, fueled by the memories of stories, forgot he resided in the present, in reality. His enemies knew where they resided. By the time he realized he could not attain the greatness he desired, he was fine. He had learned how to deal with reality, and did his best to bring what he could of those stories into reality. It was not easy, but with the memories of his people, he did what he could, and created new memories in the process.

-

When Jack and Ana had arrived at the Watchpoint, it was well on its way to sliding into the ocean. Smoke bellowed in places as agents, many of them familiar faces, fought off what were obviously Talon forces. Ana rolled her eye, always sure the organization would have collapsed without her. It did fall after she was “killed,” so she might have been onto something.

Without hesitation, they joined the fray as unknown, masked combatants, proving who they sided with very quickly. They eventually found themselves split from each other, nothing concerning in the slightest. Ana found herself working alongside her daughter, the memorable cowboy, and an omnic she recognized as reminiscent of an OR-15 model. She made sure to keep her children healthy in between getting acquainted with the omnic and sleeping any fools who dared get close.

Meanwhile, Jack found himself fighting alongside the Crusader, an ancient bastion unit, and  one very talented, very short, engineer. The giant crusader tried to make small talk with him, but Jack repeatedly responded with a noncommittal grunt or with something basic and unrevealing. Despite this, the German remained as friendly as ever, just as Jack had remembered. He had found the man to be loud, but never really minded so long as he wasn’t having a bad day. If it was one of those days, which were frequent towards the end, he would kindly lower his voice, which honestly wasn’t particularly quiet. Regardless, it was a greatly appreciated gesture when he felt so underappreciated himself.

Eventually, the battle reached its conclusion. Talon robots lay defeated, their remains would later reveal useful information. A few enemy ships were making their escape, Tracer chasing after them in hopes of being able to land a tracker on at least one of them. And to top it all off, Widowmaker had been captured. However, the one known as the Reaper had escaped, as they would learn in a hastily thrown together meeting with some refreshments. It was then that The Shrike and Soldier: 76 spoke up.

“The Reaper is a strong foe, though a dumb one.” the Shrike spoke. “Dumb fool…”

“We also know him as Gabriel Reyes, former head of Blackwatch.” 76 revealed. He was immediately bombarded with questions of how he could say such a thing without any evidence. Not only that, Gabriel had been long dead after all.

“You’d be surprised at how hard it is to kill an old soldier.” she responded, taking off her mask to reveal her face. Of course, her daughter was the first to recognize her.

“… Mom?” Fareeha asked. “You’re… alive.” Her mother nodded her head. A wide variety of emotions covered Fareeha’s face as she stormed out the room. Ana sighed.

“Well, if you’ll excuse me, I have to deal with this. I’m sure you all understand.” she said with the nonchalant wave of a hand as she went after her daughter. A moment of silence followed, all eyes eventually shifting to the masked man who arrived with her.

“You… I know who you are then! You’re Jack!” Reinhardt shouted, pointing a large finger at the man.

“…”

“Ahh! Your silence isn’t hiding anything old friend!” he bellowed, moving a few steps to give him a heavy pat on the back, making the smaller man slightly off balanced for a moment. “It is great to have you back.” he said more softly with a warm smile. Somehow, it made Jack soften up a little.

“It…” he began, taking off his mask before continuing. “It’s nice to see you too Reinhardt.”

-

It was not until they saw their memories played out by the people they conquered, who were now people of the kingdom, that they remembered this. The conquered lands were given an option, they could receive reparations and sever their ties to the kingdom, or receive one half of the reparations and join the forest kingdom in a coalition. They would form a single kingdom, each land in the kingdom equal in power. Many refused. They survived just fine. Those that joined experienced the mixing and melding of their memories that, as a result, birthed new memories reminiscent of their old ones

-

In the following months, things began to return to normal. The base was quickly rebuilt thanks to the help of friends around the world. More recruits, of faces old and new, had joined as well. Sojourn, Genji and the cyborg's brother were now a part of Overwatch. Other new faces included a friend of Winston’s from the moon, a freedom fighter who utilized the power of music and sonic technology, and a combat medic who was once a part of Talon. Meanwhile, Angela was making progress towards reverse engineering the brainwashing process so she could help Amile.

Ana had slowly been warming up to Fareeha, who was rightfully angry at her mother for deciding to leave. It saddened Ana, but was sure things would be alright in time. In the meantime, Overwatch provided her with a decent amount of work, be it missions, training, or catching up. It was decidedly better than being a ghost, but Hawai'i seemed much more tempting at times. However, she did find much joy in sharing what she had learned over the years to the younger ones, and had definitely missed gossiping at a base over tea. Vishkar representative Satya and former yakuza prince Hanzo proved to be good company in such a pastime.

Jack, on the other hand, was well in his element. He was no longer the Strike Commander, back to being a regular old soldier. Though, his insight from his past experience proved valuable of course. He soon found himself being happier with a smile on his face more often than not. He had Reinhardt to frequently thank for that. They seemed to bond over being two stubborn old soldiers. It was something Jack wished he had the time for back then, but, he had the present to do that now.

Rein was funnier than he remembered. There was also something about him that made Jack want to spend more time with the Crusader. Perhaps it was his hearty laughs that captured the attention of all, or the frequent nights they would spend together sharing a friendly drink, talking about the good and bad of their pasts, ultimately finding comfort in each other through the virtue that they weren’t so alone anymore. Perhaps it was because the man was an inspiration, a glorious sight to those who wished for hope. Jack had been one such person for a long time.

-

It was during these times did the great king reign. During all this, he was aided by many people who cared for him dearly. His mission of dreams and reality left little room for love in his life, even refusing beneficial marriages as he did not want to be an absent husband. Yet, after many years, he came to realize that there was in fact someone he loved: a knight of great renown who hailed from a conquered kingdom that joined the coalition. However, the king did not confess his love. It was only when the knight lay near death did he reveal his feelings. Perhaps it was that admission that spurned the knight to fight off death. Perhaps he would have lived regardless. What is known is that they kept their taboo love a secret.

-

This mission was supposed to be an easy one. Both soldiers should have known better than to expect things to be easy, but they were so confident in their teammates, and each other. They had been separated from the group, fighting their way to the drop point to escape. Comms went down after the order was issued to retreat and the coordinates were given. Hacked. Hopefully, the ship they were using to escape wouldn't be hacked.

The Talon machines were typically weak things, but plentiful. The sheer volume of them was what made things difficult. Jack could shoot all day, Reinhardt would hold his shield for as long as it could, and turn machines to scrap when it came to it. It was when his shield was down did his friend get hurt. A bullet to the chest, another to the leg with lots of blood flowing from it. He immediately rushed to the man, scooping him up, holding him close as he ignored the enemies and charged for the escape point. Rein didn’t know if he himself would make it.

“You know… you’re a good man, Rein.”

“Save your breath. I’ll get you to the doctors soon.” he assured.

“Heh. I think… this is fate. A warrior’s death… Honorable, and all that.”

Reinhardt remained silent. A warrior’s death was indeed honorable, but also sad, so very sad. But, at least Jack’s would not be lonely. No. There was no room for such thoughts. He steeled his resolve.

“No. You won’t be dying today! I love you too much to let you die like this!” he announced. I don’t want to lose you!

Just then, the machines froze, as if by command, their glows shifting from red to purple. Rein did not care why. If they were down, they were down. That’s all that mattered. He eventually arrived at the ship, Baptiste and Angela already there. Quickly, they shifted their attention to Jack. Fareeha was already patched up, leaving her to check Rein for any major wounds, thankfully none. His armor had served its purpose. Winston had suffered only minor injuries, and could patch himself up.

Rein could only pray and watch as the two doctors worked their gruesome yet incredible magic. Hearing that he would need a blood transfusion was concerning, but he had faith in the doctors, and hope. He could not bear the alternatives. He did not want to have to actually bury his friend again so soon like this.

It was fortunate that he and Jack shared the same blood type. He did not hesitate to offer his blood. He would never hesitate to sacrifice his blood for those he loved and wished to protect. All he could do was somberly wait, his eyes fixated on the man pale as a ghost.

They arrived back at the base where he was given more thorough treatment. Rein hated that he had to be pulled away from his fellow soldier, but he needed to be examined too, and they couldn’t risk his blood levels getting too low. They had all they needed at the base. All he could do was wait once more.

When he returned to Jack, he was still asleep on the bed in the medical ward. That night, he stood by Jack’s side, falling asleep in a chair was just barely a bit too small. He had the oddest dream that night, one of an ancient king and his lover, a knight.

When he awoke, Jack was still asleep, machines methodically beeping and droning quietly. But, Jack was still alive, and some color had returned to his face. Throughout the day, many came to visit, Brigitte and Torbjorn bringing breakfast, Ana, Winston and Lena drinking lunch, and Fareeha and Mcree bringing dinner. They all recalled old memories and stories, wishing for the best when they left.

It was a few hours after Fareeha and Mcree had left when Rein noticed that he began to stir. He shouted for one of the medics as he quickly returned to focus on Jack. Baptiste was the one to show up.

“What…”, Jack groaned, “Where... am I?”

“Safe and sound, that’s where. You took some pretty nasty hits back there. Let’s see…” the combat medic said as he pulled up the patient notes. “Major blood loss, damage to a major artery, punctured lung. Yup. Pretty nasty. Thanks to our friend here, you’ll live. Hmm, and thanks to some super soldier serum, apparently.” he noted. “Well, you should be good as new by the morning. Rest until then, and take it easy after. We’ll go over it tomorrow.”

“Right. Thanks doc.” he said as Bap began to walk away.

“Finally!” he gasped. “Someone thanked me! You’re welcome. Oh, and maybe get some actual food in you. Holler if you need anything, One of us will answer.” he finished with a wave goodbye.

Once the doctor left the vicinity, Rein practically jumped to pull Jack into a killer hug.

“Ah, thank goodness you will be well!” he rejoiced.

“Ack! They just fixed me!” he shouted.

“Right, sorry.” he sheepishly apologized. Jack let out a light huff.

“It’s alright. It’s nice to see you though.” he said with a friendly slap to the tank’s back. “So, uh, thanks. For helping me out back there.”

“Bah. Think nothing of it. It is what comrades do for one another. But, you are welcome.”

When he left Jack to get him some food, which ended up being warmed up leftover burgers and fries from the night before, Rein got to thinking. He wondered how much Jack remembered. Did he remember getting wounded? The declarations of love? The robots being hacked? How he held him tightly in his arms? Or even what happened in the ship? Rein hoped that he at least remembered the declaration of love. He didn’t think he'd ever get the courage to do it again, even after knowing Jack had moved on from Vincent.

When he came back, he noticed that Jack seemed lost in thought. But, he seemed to snap out of it once he noticed Reinhardt, thanking him for the food.

“It seemed as if there was something on your mind.” he said.

“Yeah… I need your opinion on something.” Jack requested. Rein was eager to give it. “I’ve been thinking, maybe I am getting a bit too old for this.”

“You know, I had been thinking of retirement as well.”

“You have?” Jack asked, shocked. Rein gave a lighthearted laugh.

“Yes, I have. A warrior’s death is honorable, but it would be missing something I want.” he replied.

“It’s love, isn’t it?” Jack questioned. So he did remember. Rein sheepishly turned away.

“Yes. It is love.”

“I think… I love you too, Reinhardt. Sorry, if I read things wrong, I─”

“No! You didn’t!” Rein quickly responded. Jack laughed, his bright smile the apple of Reinhardt’s eye.

“I’m glad then. I’d be honored to spend the rest of my life with you, if… that’s alright with you.”

“There would be no greater honor, than to spend the rest of my life with the man I love.” he said, placing his hand gently on top of Jack’s. They softly smiled at each other, gazing warmly at the man they loved.

-

Long after the lives of the lovers had passed, the kingdom fell to ruin, stuck by a great disaster out of anyone's control. Another kingdom would rise, and fall, in its place, just as others had in the past. It would face problems like its predecessors once did, and would be given hope by the few glorious souls that rallied the masses and dared to fight for their values. Yes, the kingdom they fought for would fall too. Yes their hardship would essentially equate to nothing in the ultimate infinity of the universe. But, in their short existences, they tried and did their best to make a difference in their time. They made a difference to those around them. They made a difference in the course of history. They made a difference in each other’s lives. And in their end, they had love. What other end could be more joyous than to die in love?

-

The honorable beings, who time and time again would arise to help their world, were fueled by the memories of others. And in turn, they fueled the memories of others as well. In a never ending cycle of despair. But, this is where hope and love are reborn, time, and time, again.

[carewyncromwell]

NEXT PART OF THE “PIRATES AU” GO TIME! For the previous part, click here, or you can also browse the entire tag for this AU here! Featuring in this section, once again, is ma cherie @cursebreakerfarrier’s girl Juliette “Jules” Farrier. <3

x~x~x~x

Carewyn had been glad for the rumbles of thunder and the terrible fog that rolled in that night. She knew Governor Farrier would want to quickly make an example out of Orion, and she needed any excuse she could scrounge up to belay his execution date so that she could figure out a way to get him out that wouldn’t either 1, put him in too much danger, or 2, make her lose her position as Commodore. If she got on the wrong side of the law herself, she’d lose the one advantage she had -- namely, the authority and power needed to keep Orion from harm.

What Carewyn could not have expected was the sound that soon accompanied the rumbles of thunder -- cannon fire.

Port Royal was under attack.

A large ship, nearly the size of the Dauntless that somehow seemed to glide in as quickly and silently as the fog, with a blood-red-stained hull and an intricate “R” chiseled into the left side of its bow came into port, and out of it came a mass of filthy, terrifying pirates all wearing dark red tunics. They held torches, pistols, and cutlasses, and they descended upon the island like a swarm of blood-stained rats.

Carewyn immediately ordered a counterattack. Sending out several battalions to protect the Governor’s mansion and the townspeople, she then stayed behind at the fort to lead her soldiers in an offensive against the ship the pirates had come from. The assault went on for almost an hour, but somehow, no matter how outnumbered the pirates were, their advance toward the fort never seemed to halt -- and somehow their numbers never seemed to dwindle...

In the brig, Orion could see the attack in the distance from the tiny window in the far upper corner of his cell. Anyone who wasn’t part of the Artemis’s crew might’ve hypothesized that these pirates had come after Orion, but Orion knew better. Murphy was far too strategic to just barrel into a busy and well-guarded town like Port Royal, and he and the rest of the crew would’ve never done something so dangerous and destructive, if nothing else, than because they’d know he wouldn’t approve. More importantly...Orion could see they were attacking the fort -- where Carewyn likely was at that very moment.

It was a struggle for Orion to try to keep calm. Whenever he was under a lot of stress -- and, to a lesser extent, whenever cannons were fired around him -- it was always rather difficult for him to find and keep his center. His heart rate would pound way too fast and he’d be unable to breathe fully or steadily and he’d have to hold his own hands in a vain attempt to keep them from shaking.

He had to get up there -- and yet his thoughts and his heartbeat were just too loud and too fast in his head for him to think. At several points the Revenge fired cannon balls right at the brig and smashed down walls, but they never managed to explode in a place Orion could use to bust his way out. He tried to meditate and clear his head -- place his faith in Carewyn, that she’d be safe -- just so that he’d be able to think clearly enough to summon up a means to actually help...but he found himself stuck in a terrible cycle of anxiety he couldn’t break free of.

Center yourself -- center -- Carewyn -- find your center -- balance -- calm -- Carewyn, please -- she’s all right -- center yourself -- no, she’s not -- no, she’s not -- find your center -- breathe --

Orion had good reason to be worried -- for when the pirates reached the fort, they cut down every soldier in their way, all with seemingly little effort. When they arrived, Carewyn also realized who it was that was attacking them.

Carewyn’s blue eyes widened upon the dark red tunics worn by the pirates at the head of the charge.

She knew that uniform only too well. It perfectly explained their ruthlessness -- and worse, despite their clear advantage in numbers, her soldiers were still somehow outmatched...

She dashed over to Percy, who had been firing at the pirates with his rifle, and seized his shoulder.

“Percy -- lead the new recruits in a retreat,” she said urgently.

Percy looked up in alarm. “Retreat? We’re abandoning the fort?”

“I care less about the fort than I do our men’s lives,” Carewyn said fiercely. “Get them out of here -- I’ll cover you.”

“But -- ”

“That’s an order, Lieutenant!” she cut him off sharply. Seeing the conflict and worry in his eyes, she then gave his shoulder a squeeze and said more softly, “I’m counting on you. Look after them.”

Percy couldn’t seem to summon any response. His freckled face was very white and scared. Nonetheless, he eventually managed to swallow back the lump in his throat and give her a fervent nod. He then immediately rushed off to gather the rest of his regiment.

“Fall back! Fall back! Stay together!”

Carewyn couldn’t hide the fear she felt herself as she turned her back on Percy and the other soldiers, unsheathing her sword and strolling leisurely into the throng of red-garbed pirates. They attacked her all at once, and within moments, she was fighting all six of them, ducking their blows and slashing into them with ferocity.

By her own design, the Commodore of Port Royal fought the crew of the pirate ship Revenge completely single-handed.

Not long after the seven pirates had swarmed the fort, they seemed to just as abruptly withdraw. No one knew why until Charlie and Bill -- hotly engaged in fighting a handful of pirates who had been ransacking houses -- caught sight of the red-garbed group who was retreating.

‘That must be the Captain!’ thought Bill.

At the head of the group was an older graying pirate dressed in a black coat much more ornate than the rest of his crew’s and a wide-brimmed red hat, which made him look like a silent, hungry vulture among a sea of red. His face was oddly placid and coolly smiling in response to all the chaos, even as he barked around at the rest of the pirates.

“Enough! Fall back now! We have what we came for!”

There was a roar of raucous delight from the rest of the crew, and they just as quickly flocked to the older man’s side.

Charlie’s eyes narrowed angrily. “No way am I gonna let you all walk off that easily -- !”

Before Bill could stop him, he charged at the group of pirates. One of them -- a female pirate, to Bill’s surprise, with a mane of long dark red curls and very cold almond-shaped blue eyes -- immediately unsheathed her own sword and the two began to fight. At last Charlie managed to stab her in the chest, making her collapse in a heap --

It was when she fell back that Charlie saw what the brown-haired female pirate to the pirate captain’s left was carrying over her shoulder -- the prone form of someone dressed in Navy blue and loosely flying ginger red hair.

“CAREY!” screamed Charlie.

Three other pirates immediately descended on Charlie with their cutlasses, slashing at his chest and his long ponytail. Charlie was soon completely overwhelmed in battle, unable to push past them. He tried to keep Carewyn in sight, but she was disappearing over the horizon --

Bill’s heart leapt into his throat as he chased after the group of pirates, his own sword high. His white robes were torn and covered in blood, but he didn’t care -- he couldn’t let them take Carewyn --

With a roar of fury, he went straight for the woman holding Carewyn. He slashed her shoulder, making her crumple in on herself with an angry cry -- Bill seized the back of Carewyn’s jacket, to pull her away --

“AAAARGH!”

Searing pain wrenched through Bill’s back, and in an instant, he was yanked backward away from Carewyn and thrown to the ground. Blood pooled out of his left side as someone stomped their foot on top of him with such force that he was slammed into the brick.

“ACK!”

“Don’t bother getting up, holy Father,” said a very cold, and yet scalding female voice. “We are demons you cannot defeat.”

Bill gritted his teeth in pain as he struggled to get to his feet.

“No -- “ he choked, his eyes flaring with righteous anger. “No, you -- you can’t have him -- !”

The captain raised his eyebrows in a cruel kind of amusement. “‘Him?’“

The brown-haired woman, who seemed to have completely shaken off the injury Bill had inflicted on her, gave a hard, forced-sounding laugh. The woman on top of Bill pushed down into him harder, making him gasp in pain.

“Heed this warning, boy,” she hissed right in his ear. “Stay away from our flesh and blood, or we’ll happily slash open your flesh and spill your blood in full.”

Her dark red curls had dropped into his line of vision -- Bill’s face contorted with confusion -- wait -- hadn’t Charlie already -- !?

“Stop playing with your food, Pearl,” said a younger, scathing male voice somewhere behind her. “We’ve got what we came for, so let’s leave this hovel behind.”

“Don’t tell me what to -- ”

“Fall back, Pearl,” the captain repeated very coolly. “Let the holy man be. Better that he learn the sting of failure that comes from doing the Lord’s work sooner rather than later.”

Bill made one last valiant attempt to get up, but the woman called Pearl kicked him in the back of the head with the metal heel of her boot and his mind went black.

Port Royal was absolutely devastated by the aftermath of the attack. Not only had their town been largely trashed, but their local hero had been stolen from them by the very pirates she fought single-handedly to give the rest of her soldiers the chance to escape from. All three Weasleys took what had happened very hard, all feeling ashamed and responsible for not having been able to protect Carewyn, who they saw as family to them. Percy immediately put his efforts toward helping the remaining officers put together a search party, but both Bill and Charlie feared that the Navy would never be able to find her. The Revenge was a ship of legends that seemingly appeared in and out of the fog like a ghost and only made berth on an island that supposedly nobody could reach unless they somehow already knew where it was. And given that it was an island inhabited by pirates, it was unlikely to be a place the British Navy could easily find.

Fortunately for the Weasleys, there was another person who was worried about Carewyn and was determined to do whatever had to be done to rescue her -- Jules Farrier. And so she charmed her way into the brig, slipped the watching guards some drugged drinks, and then picked up her skirts so she could dash down the stairs to the lone cell she knew was still inhabited.

Jules found Orion Amari sitting cross-legged in the corner of his cell. His eyes were closed and his hands were clasped in his lap. The wall behind him had been broken open at the top, but the jagged hole wasn’t wide enough for him to slip through.

The Governor’s daughter bent down, grabbing onto one of the wooden bars of his cell so she could look through them at him.

“Captain Amari,” she said urgently.

Orion’s head twitched. Although his expression was as unreadable as ever, his shoulders were tenser than normal as he slowly opened his eyes.

“...Miss Farrier,” he said, sounding far less surprised than he probably was. “I hope your Mr. Weasley is well.”

Jules flushed a little at the mention of “her” Mr. Weasley, but was too focused on the task at hand to care.

“Captain Amari, Carey’s been kidnapped.”

Orion’s expression abruptly tensed. His dark eyes went very wide and he froze up like a deer in the headlights.

“What?” The word came out so quietly and shakily it was like it was only said by a shadow of his actual voice.

“It was the Revenge,” said Jules, as Orion quickly shoved himself across the floor so that he could also grab onto the bars and peek through them at her. “They stormed the fort -- they trashed everything, but didn’t take anything except her. Bill and Charlie tried to stop them, but -- ”

“You can’t fight those men,” Orion cut her off very lowly.

He closed his eyes again -- he was breathing as deeply as he could, as if he were trying to keep his heart rate down.

“...There are tales, about the curse that plagues the Revenge’s crew. Some say they cannot be killed. Some say they’re not even human. Some say that they’re more dead than alive, and yet they walk among us all the same...”

He clasped his hands together, his dark eyebrows knitting together over his eyes.

“Carewyn was able to escape their curse, when she and Jacob fled all those years ago...and knowing Charles Cromwell, he couldn’t stand the thought of any member of his family living free -- of the curse...or of him.”

Jules’s eyes narrowed. Carewyn had never told her much about her grandfather, but considering she was more than experienced dealing with a family member who tried to dictate how she should live her life, she completely understood why Jacob wanted to get himself and his sister away from that.

“The Navy’s sent out search parties, but we all know that they won’t find her quickly. But you care about Carewyn -- she told me she helped you, and that you let her escape. You have a ship and a crew -- and since you’re a pirate, you’d probably be able to find out where the Revenge makes berth, right?”

Orion opened his eyes at last. His gaze upon Jules’s face was very unreadable.

“Finding Carewyn I believe I could manage,” he said levelly, “were I not currently imprisoned.”

Jules’s lips spread into a wry smile as she rose to her feet and reached into her sleeve.

“These might help with that,” she said coolly, dangling the ring of keys off of her pointer finger.

Getting Orion out of his cell was the easy part. Another pair of men had come to take the place of the original guards and found them passed out on the floor, just before they caught sight of Orion and Jules darting around the hall. Soon the bronze bell was clanging, signalling a prison break, and more soldiers arrived. At one point Orion even had to pick Jules up bridal style so they could jump down a set of stairs. Just when it seemed they might get captured, though, who should come to their rescue, but --

“Bill!” breathed Jules in relief.

Bill kicked the last soldier off the wall and whirled around. Orion quickly put Jules down, and Bill immediately swooped down on her, clutching her shoulder and searching her face for injuries.

“Are you hurt? Are you all right?”

“I’m fine,” said Jules, “but Bill -- what are you -- ?”

Bill gave her a grim smile. “Same reason as you, I reckon.”

His brown eyes flickered over to Orion, narrowing slightly as he straightened up.

“I don’t trust you as far as I can throw you, Amari,” said the priest, “but if Miss Farrier got you out, I imagine she convinced you to help us find out where Charles Cromwell took Carey.”

Orion inclined his head. “I understand that you don’t trust me, Bill Weasley, but rest assured, I don’t want Carewyn in the clutches of Charles Cromwell any more than you do.”

Bill still looked very suspicious; Jules brought a hand onto his arm and gave it a squeeze through the sleeve of his robes.

“Bill, we can trust him. He cares about Carey -- I know she’d trust him, if our places were switched.”

Bill deflated slightly under Jules’s hold. He stared down at her for a long moment; then, with a swallow, he turned back to Orion.

“...Carey never has trusted easily,” he said quietly, “so if you think that’s true, and if you trust him...then I will as well.”

His silent stare seemed to add, ‘For now.’

The three were abruptly startled to attention by the sound of a loud CRASH. They dashed around the corner, to find a large piece of the lowered wooden gate on top of a group of stunned soldiers and another ginger-haired man climbing casually through the hole over to them.

“Charlie?” said Bill, taken aback.

Charlie grinned at Bill and Jules. “Hey, lovebirds! Guess we must’ve had the same idea -- though I’d planned on shaking the bloke down for information, not set him loose...”

He cocked an eyebrow at Orion.

“But oh well -- is he taking us to Carey?”

Orion inclined his head to Charlie like he had Bill, his dark eyes very calm but still narrowed seriously.

“I am returning to the Artemis and aim to go after the Revenge. If you wish to assist me in that, I would be very grateful. If you wish to join me in it, however, it would be far more dangerous -- even more so than what you’ve already done.”

Charlie’s grin grew a bit more cocky. “Look, mate -- Carey is my twin. Not by blood, but she’s my twin all the same. She’s family. There’s no way in Hell I’m not going to help her, if she needs me.”

Bill glanced at Jules. He agreed with Charlie 100%, but Jules going would be very different than either of them. She hadn’t been in the Navy -- she wasn’t trained with a pistol or sword.

Nevertheless Jules looked back at Bill with a perfectly fearless expression.

“Us too,” she said firmly.

Bill’s eyes rippled with emotion around his broadening smile. Juliette Farrier truly was the bravest, most wonderful woman he’d ever met in his life.

Grinning, Charlie turned back to the broken gate.

“Now then, you’d best get those swords out -- there’ll no doubt be a party waiting for us, if we head for any of the docks. I hope your ship’s not too far off, Amari.”

Orion’s dark eyes twinkled with mischief.

“Not at all,” he said levelly. “The Artemis’s best aspect is her ability to hide in plain sight.”

“Good.”

Charlie unsheathed the sword at his side. The heavy iron hilt was beautifully melded into a stylized dragon.

“Never thought I’d get such good use out of this baby, when I made it,” he said with another cheeky grin as he held it aloft.

Orion, Bill, Charlie, and Jules dashed for the northern-most dock. It was largely deserted except for what looked like a single, abandoned ship -- but, as it turned out, that was merely an illusion. Orion Amari apparently had a good friend in Tortuga who specialized in old magics, and after he’d been kind to her, she’d cast a spell on the Artemis that gave it the ability to disguise itself as an innocent-looking merchant ship. Once Orion used the word necessary to remove the illusion, both the Artemis and its crew reappeared, and they made ready to board. As Charlie had predicted, however, a whole slew of soldiers had come to stop them -- among them, the final Weasley brother, Percy, who was the last one left standing after Orion, Charlie, and Bill had taken out the rest of the battalion and Orion had made it on board the Artemis.

Unlike Bill and Charlie, however, Percy refused to trust Orion -- he was a pirate, just like the ones who’d kidnapped Carewyn. He’d kidnapped her himself, even if Carewyn managed to get away. If Bill and Charlie went with him, they’d be labeled as pirates too -- if Jules went, then the Governor would hunt all of them down and probably kill them, just to get her back.

“I know you want to help,” he told his brothers sharply, pointing his pistol at them but only by protocol, “but let the Navy handle this!”

“The Navy can’t find a pirate island!” Charlie shot back impatiently. “Charles Cromwell is ruthless, Perce -- if we dally around waiting for the Navy to find her the ‘upstanding way,’  Carey might be dead by the time we reach her!”

“And if you do this, then you’ll have nothing left to come back to!” said Percy. “You’ll be tarred with Amari’s brush, Charlie -- you and Bill, and Jules -- you’ll be criminals! You’ll have no future, no home -- no chance at a normal life, ever again! You’ll be hunted down like animals! The Navy will hunt you down -- the thing you fought for! The thing we fought for! The thing Carey and I still fight for! Is that what Mum and Dad would want? Ginny, or Ron, or Fred and George? Is that what Carey would want -- you throwing away your entire lives and futures!?”

Percy’s hand holding his pistol was shaking. Bill’s lips came together very tightly.

“Percy,” he said very softly, “we can’t let Carey stay in the clutches of Charles Cromwell. That man slaughtered his own daughter and her husband, all because they wouldn’t bow to his will. Carey was lucky to escape him, when she had the chance. I’m sure she’s known her whole life that he might catch up with her and dreaded that moment every single day...and yet she kept it all to herself, because that’s what Carey does. She takes every knife she can herself, so we don’t have to.”

Jules looked from Bill to Percy, her brown eyes narrowed in determination as she nodded in agreement.

“We can’t leave her, Percy,” she said firmly. “Once Carey’s safe...whatever happens next...we can deal with the consequences.”

Percy stared up at them, his freckles very stark against his deathly pale face. His eyes darted from Charlie to Bill and back.

“Don’t do this,” he whispered.

Charlie stubbornly turned away and strode right up the gangplank onto the Artemis’s deck. He stopped to Orion’s right, but avoided eye contact with anyone on board.

“Charlie -- ” pleaded Percy. “Don’t do this -- think of Mum -- think of us -- ”

Jules headed up the gangplank too, turning back to look at Bill. Bill turned away from Percy. 

“Bill -- ” Percy said again. “Don’t -- please -- ”

Bill bowed his head.

“I’m sorry,” he murmured.

“Bill!”

Percy’s voice came out as a despair-filled, choked yelp of pain. The sound clearly affected Bill, judging by how he shut his eyes tight. Jules reached out as if to take his hand, but Bill plowed up the gangplank, unable to face anyone, as the gangplank was raised and the Artemis immediately set sail.

Charlie escaped into the rigging and sat in the crow’s nest alone for the next hour. Bill went to the far side of the deck, grabbing onto the railing in a vice grip and hunching over it as he struggled not to cry. Jules came up beside him and, her own eyes full of pain, she rested her head and shoulder against his, desperate to show any support she could.

As much as they all knew they had no other choice, if they wanted to save Carewyn...it didn’t make the schism between the Weasley brothers any less searing and painful.

[toomuchtv95]

Struggling Chapter 2

Characters: Jay Halstead,  Hank Voight, Antonio Dawson

Pairing: Jay Halstead x Reader (Eventually)

Word Count: 3k+

Chapter Warnings: Swearing ( I think that’s all)

A/N: I am working on a Damon Salvatore x Reader imagine because I am been re-watching TVD and I forgot how much I love Damon so of course I had to write something. So just keep an eye out for that. I am also working on Chapter 3

Series MasterList

You had a busy week at work, and you haven’t had time to think about what Antonio said about moving on. And unfortunately, you ran out of time to think, today was the 2nd anniversary of Ryan's death. Waking up this morning, you already started to feel like you were going to cry. While taking a shower, you had some time to think about moving on and how to do that. After showering, you went to the flower shop that sat on the corner of your block before heading to the cemetery. As you walked through the cemetery, you carefully stepped over the headstones as you made your way over to his headstone. The gravesite looked untouched like it always does. Ryan had no family that was close by to take care of the site, expect you.

Kneeling you placed the flowers on the ground and cleaned up the grass and leaves. "I know I haven't been around in a while and I'm sorry, but I'm been struggling a little more than usual.” You whispered as tears formed in your eyes causing blurriness. “It’s been two years and I still feel like it was yesterday when I got the news.”

"I still think that you are going to walk through the door and kiss me and tell you to love me, but you're not because you're gone. I'm mad at you for leaving me and I shouldn't because it's not your fault. We were barely married when you left, I wanted a life with you, I wanted kids with you and now that's not happening." Your voice cracked as choked out a sob. "The last two years have been hell and today is even worse, because I came here to tell you that I can't keep thinking you're coming home. I need to move on. You're not coming back, and I have to learn to live with that."

“I know it’s going to be hard, but I need to do it for myself. I need to be happy again because I am tired of being broken and alone.” You wiped your tears just as fresh ones formed. “I’ve read your letter again, and I think your right about letting go and finding someone else.” Taking a deep breath, you wiped the tears again, “last week one night, I spent the night eating take-out and watching a corny TV movie with a guy who cares for me more than a friend, but he would never tell me that because he knows I would just push him away. I think he could be someone to be more than a friend, but I will never know if I keep holding on to you." Taking a deep breath, you stood up and placed a hand on the headstone. "I love you and I always will, but I need to let you go and move on." Leaning down, you kissed the top of the headstone before turning around to see Antonio keeping a fair distance.

Antonio opened his arms as you approached him. You collided into arms and lot out a sob that you couldn’t hold back anymore. “It’s going to be okay," Antonio whispered as he rubbed your back as you wrapped your arms around his waist. “I know that was hard for you.”

You pulled away to wipe the tears, “yeah it was, but I have to move on. He’s not coming back.” Antonio wrapped his arm around your shoulder as the two of head back towards his car. Originally you weren’t going to go to work but staying at home and sulking around isn't healthy.  You needed to go to work.

Once the two of you were in his car, Antonio’s phone started to ring, which he took the call. You glanced over at him and you could tell by the look on his face that something was wrong. Once the call ended, you turned to look at Antonio, “what is it?” Antonio hesitated which caused you to worry. “Just tell me.”

“Jay’s security team was ambushed.” Jay was working his security job today and apparently while they were doing a deposit the team was ambushed and one of the guys was injured.

The whole car ride to the district you felt tense as you thought about Jay. Since the beginning of the year, you and Jay have gotten closer ever since you saved him when he was kidnapped while working an undercover op. Then when Jay took you home, and brought you food and stayed the night, you have just been feeling closer to him. Once the two of you got to the district, Antonio headed upstairs while you waited in the garage for Jay to show up. You paced the floor as your anxiety rose. You came to a stop when you saw Al walk in with Jay right behind him.

“Jay.” You immediately walked over to Jay and hugged him tightly.

"Y/N, I'm okay," Jay whispered against your hair as he wrapped an arm you. “Any word from Med about Terry?”

“No nothing yet.” The two of you pulled away and headed upstairs. Once the two of you made it upstairs your father looked at both and the two of you headed into this office.

“You are not taking me off this case.” Stood behind Jay as you closed the door. You leaned against the door with your arms crossed. Your father glanced at you then back at Jay.

“That is not your call to make.”

“This is Terry’s blood.” Jay pointed at this sleeve that was covered in blood. “I saw the guys. You need me.” Your father looked at you which you gave him a slight nod. After agreeing to let him stay on the case, he left the room to go clean up, leaving you and your dad alone.

“I know what-” Your father pulled you into a hug which you hugged back without hesitation. “I’m okay. I went to his grave this morning.” You pulled away and sat on the arm of the sofa. "You know the last 2 years, things have been a struggle, but I need to move on and learn to live my life. He’s not coming back, and I have to accept that.”

“Whatever you need to help you through this let me know.” Your dad squeezed your shoulder for comfort.

"Actually, there is one thing that I can think of right now." Your dad hummed in response. "I want to be with Jay on this one. I know you won't understand, but just trust me." Your father nodded his head in agreement as you pushed yourself off the couch and left the office.

“Jay.” You walked into the room where Jay was watching your dad and Antonio finishing up question Brianna Logan, who was Jay’s boss at the marijuana dispenser. “I just heard from Med. Terry didn’t make it. Massive hemorrhaging.” Jay turned to look at you and without saying a word he left the room. After a few moments, the interview was over and you exited the room only to be stopped by Adam, who said that the lab was able to get prints on the gun they found at the scene. You nodded your head and went to find Jay, only to see him and Brianna talking as you rounded the corner.

You couldn't help but hear the last first things exchange between the two. "I can't help but feel responsible for what happens to Terry." There was something about this Brianna woman that you didn’t like. Maybe it’s because she was clearly into Jay. Not that it should bother you. He a single man and he can do what and who he wants.

“You’re not. I am.” You could clearly hear the guilt in Jay’s voice which caused your heart to sink.

“Please tell Terry’s wife that I will take care of all the funeral costs." Brianna reached over and placed a hand on jay's bicep causing your to jealously raise. Okay, why does this bother you so much?

“He was in the marines, so he’ll get a military send off.”

“Hey, Jay we got something off the gun.” You took a step closer causing Brianna to step back. Jay told Brianna to lay low and that they would call her if they needed anything else. Once she left, you and Jay headed back into the bullpen to find the rest of the team.

"Okay, so the lab managed to pull a partial print off the clip inside the gun that was left at the scene. They matched to a guy named Joseph "Joey" Ortiz." Adam taped up the photo on the board as he spoke.

"Ortiz? Yeah, he's a known member of the Insane King crew. They don't sell drugs. Their M.O. is to follow the cartel mules with a large amount of money after big drug deals then they rob them. I had a run-in with them once when I worked a joint case with narcotics a few years ago.” You explained it to the team.

“Okay, put an investigative alert on Ortiz.” You nodded your head as you sat at your desk and picked up the phone.

“Okay, I gotta ask. Are you sleeping with this woman?” You stopped what you were doing and looked at your dad who was standing next to Jay by the board.

“Who Brianna?” Your dad looked at Jay with a stern face. “What does that have to do with the case?”

“All right, one more time. Are you sleeping with her?” You held your breath as you waited for him to answer. You also weren’t sure if you wanted to hear the answer.

“No.” Jay came right out and said it and relief washed over you.

This case has really taken a toll on Jay the last few days but thankfully it was over. Al and Adam went to sweep the dispensary for bugs, and they found a bunch of bugs throughout her office. They were able to get serials numbers off them it turned out that Brianna’s soon-to-be ex-husband hired a PI to get dirt on her. Then after questioning the PI, we found out that he was in on the robbery along with a guy them Brigs but turned out that a crew that worked for Brigs was the one who did it. After the case was solved, Jay went to tell Brianna that he was quitting which made you secretly happy.

“Hey, need a ride home?” You looked up from your paperwork and saw Antonio putting on his coat.

“No, I’m good.” You fiddled with the pen in your hand. “I’m actually grabbing a beer with Jay at Molly’s after he’s done talking with Hank. I decided to tell Jay about Ryan.”

“Yeah? Are you sure?” Antonio sat on the edge of your desk.

“Yeah. It’s time.” You stood up from your chair and tossed the pen on your desk. “Lately, I’ve just been feeling, I guess you can say, closer to Jay and I thought I would feel guilty about it, but I don’t.” Tears built up in your eyes and you had no idea why you wanted to cry.

"Yeah, I've noticed that. This is a sign that you are moving in the right direction. Remember letting go and moving on. I know the last two years have been a struggle for you, but this could be the first step to figuring things out." Antonio placed his hands on your shoulders and rubbed your arms up and down. “So, if telling Jay about Ryan is what you feel is right then do it and then figure things out from there.”

You nodded your head before hugging Antonio. “This is why you’re my best friend.” You pulled away just as Jay exited the office.

“Ready to go? I can really use that drink.” You nodded your head as Antonio left leaving just you and Jay alone.

20mins Later

"Hey, detective." Herrmann leaned forward against the counter with a smile on his face.

"Hey, Herrmann.” You smiled back as you ordered two beers along with two shots. “Thanks.” You grabbed the drinks and moved through the crowd over to were Jay was sitting. "Alright, here we go." You handed Jay his beer along with the shot of whatever Herrmann gave you.

“To Terry.” The two of you raised your shot glasses in the air before chugging them down.

“How your cheek?” You motioned at Jay’s cheek where he got into an altercation with one of the crew members.

“I’ll be fine.” Jay took a swing of his beer. “Are you okay? You seem a little off the last couple of days.” You picked at the label on the beer bottle while trying to figure out a way to tell Jay. You wanted to tell Jay, but your nerves were getting the best of you and you were having second thoughts. “Y/N, whatever is you can tell me.” Jay reached over and grabbed your hand.

“There something I need to tell you and I don’t want you to look at me like I’m this fragile piece of glass.” You looked up at Jay and when his green eyes locked with yours, you instantly felt at ease. “Two years ago, I lost my husband.”

“Your husband?” Jay looked at you with complete shock.

“Yeah. I guess I should start from the beginning.” You took a deep breath then took a sip of your beer. "Well as you know I was in the Army and the reason why the left was because during my last mission I was taken, hostage. It was days until the rest of the team found me. When they did find me, I was in bad shape. I had two broken ribs, a broken wrist, a concussion, and a collapsed lung. I thought I was going to die."

“It was about a 6-month long recovery and it was hell. I did half my recover overseas in German and the other half back home in North Carolina, that was my post was at the time. Then after I left Army I can back home to Chicago. I moved back in with parents until I was able to get back on my feet. Coming back and adjusting to living was hard and it just triggered things. My father sent me to therapy to help with the problems I was dealing with and I was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety. Once I got things under control, I joined the police force, and then about 3 years into the job I met my late husband. I was working my first case in Vice and he was working security detail for one of the victims." You stopped to take a sip of your beer than taking a deep breath.

“His name was Lieutenant Commander Ryan Campbell. He was Navy Seal before he decided to join the reserves. We dated for about 2years before he asked me to marry him and of course, I said yes. We were engaged for a little while before he got the call telling him that he was needed for active duty. We deiced to get married at the courthouse because we didn’t want to wait until he came back home because we didn’t know long, he was going to be deployed for. It was 6 months later when the officers showed up at my step and I knew.” Tears started to form in your eyes as you thought back to that day. Two Navy Officers stood at your door and you knew the drill. You knew Ryan wasn’t coming back.

“Hey,” Jay squeezed your hand causing you to come back to reality. “How did it happen?” Jay spoke low almost a whisper.

“IED overseas in Iraq. Getting that news was devastating, but deep down I knew that it could happen. My PTSD was triggered again, and I need time off to deal with everything. I eventually got onto some medicine and seeing someone once a week and it helped but I struggled to deal with the loss of Ryan. I still struggle, but I’m learning to accept that he’s got coming back and I need to move on.” You looked down closing your eyes to stop the tears, but it was too late. Jay removed his hand from yours and walked over to your side of the table and sat next to you and pulled you into a side hug. “Sometimes I feel so broken that I don’t know if I can put myself back together.”

"You are not broken," Jay muttered into your hair. “I don’t think you realize how strong you are. You may feel like your broken, but I don’t think you are.” You pulled away and Jay looked at you with a soft smile. “This doesn't change the way I look you. I don't see you as a fragile piece of glass." Jay reached over and wiped the tears that were rolling down your cheek.

After the two of you finished your drinks, Jay drove you home, walked you to your door, and to be honest you felt great that you were able to tell Jay about everything. You felt a weight lifted off your shoulders. “Thanks for listening tonight. I really need to tell you.”

“Always. If you ever need to talk about anything. Just know that I am here.” You grabbed your keys from your purse, turned to unlock the door, and once you unlocked the door you turned back around. Looking at Jay, a smile formed on your face and something inside of you sparked. Without thinking, you leaned over and connected your lips to his. You could feel Jay was hesitant at your sudden actions and causing you to pull away.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.” You whispered as you turned back around and opened the door to head inside your apartment. Jay was about to stop you but decided against it, not wanting to make the situation worse. Once you were inside, you locked your door and leaned your back against before sliding down to the floor. What have you done? Did you misread the signals over the last couple of months? Maybe he found someone who wasn’t broken. For the first time in a long time, you thought you could be happy but you guess you were too late.

Series TagList: @hehurst23 @tyzerman91 @ceotoddross-blog @halstudandruz @corebore123 @myplaceofheavenorhell @baker151910 @katierpblogg @talicat713 @kadygirl @esauthor @jay-haisteads @onechicago18 @secretsinflame @weepingbluebirdmentality @jasminfelling @lovecatystuff @oncechicagolove @bellag1128 @yzas-stuff @mxgdx7 @andreiaafaria @fullwattpadmusictree @itsdesiree86 @mamanurin @lil-bita-everything @ngwelburn @lisemaria0719 @a-dorky-book-keeper @chrisrandumness @perfectnightbouquetgoddess @Ima1986 @123happyllama @delcateswift @gfountainsblog @pollyyates24 @scatchia @ld-1204 @daenerys-targaryen @beachfan412 @theelvishmermaid @fofisstilinski @levelneunzehn @wemma554 @wicked-laugh @totalllytrashy @onechicagofan20 @wearesodrica @haileymatthewss @danielacastellon @smalltowngirly05 @faithhasnowords @music-is-my-escape71 @olihju @detective29 @sevschicago @lifeisalohaa @singingtree2012 @nikki1dxx @mandybug39 @mheart27 @lovecatystuff @alex-blackmoon @beckisaurusrex @kicksomeasskatherine @miranda0102 @fearless-to-die @readbasoeverything @deedee220802 @zizzlekwum @melmenya @lovingfanofupstead @thevelvetseries @panaitbeatrice @hehurst23 @musicgurl162010

[petitelepus]

25 Days of MTMTE Christmas, Part 13, Mistletoe

You meet a new mech and they defend you at Swerve's bar. It's only fair to return the favor.

Living with a robotic race whose members could easily live over a million years was initially mindblowing. They were unimaginably older than you, so you expected them to be wiser, but you soon learned that Cybertronians were flawed. Some mechs acted like idiotic human teenagers, as if every day was April Fools’ Day. After telling Rodimus about Christmas, the captain had announced to the entire crew that the Lost Light would be celebrating the holiday. You were surprised to see the crew react very favourably to the idea of a Christmas party. One thing you had learned from the moment your feet touched down on the Lost Light was that bots would take any, and you meant ANY, chance to drink. You were a bit leery at the thought of drunk bots many times your size and weight, but you decided to check out the Christmas celebrations at Swerve’s. Even though you doubted Swerve had anything, alcoholic or not, that wouldn’t kill you with one sip. You were already tired of this scene, but it would be rude to abandon your friends so soon. You listened silently to Skids and Nautica’s conversation as they sipped on their engex. They had insisted that you come out with them, but now you were feeling as though it wouldn’t make a difference if you weren’t there. Chromedome and Rewind had left not too long ago, as they had been feeling tipsy and frisky due to the influence of the engex. If they had left early, maybe it was okay for you to do the same? You had made up your mind to silently slip away when the bar's doors opened, and a couple of rowdy bots ran in like their afts were on fire. They were laughing and boasting about trolling somebot called Ravage. You wondered why the name sounded familiar when the doors opened, and a huge black panther slinked into the bar. At first, you had mistaken them for a big cat, but when you looked closer you saw that they were actually a bot. A cat bot. Huh. So Cybertronians kept pets also. You took notice of a long thin rod attached to the cat's back, with plastic mistletoe hanging above their head. God knows how the mechs got their servos on Christmas decorations, but that was unimportant when they had used it to tease a poor kitty. You hopped down from your seat with a frown, and approached the cat. As you came closer, you began to realize how much larger than an Earth panther this cat bot was, so you slowed your steps to approach with extreme caution. "Hey there,” you crooned gently, getting the robotic cat's attention. Being a cat lover, you knew how to approach an unfamiliar kitty (the same rules applied to robotic alien cats, right?). The black cat turned their red optics on you, and you stopped in your tracks. You smiled at the creature, trying to give off good vibes. You slowly extended your arm, offering your hand to the giant cat bot to sniff, but the cat greeting was interrupted by laughter. "Oh Primus, it's actually talking to Ravage!" A mech hollered. You frowned. What did they just say? You turned to see one of the mechs that had been loudly boasting about pranking Ravage earlier. You were about to open your mouth to reprimand the mech in question, when suddenly the bot's friend walked up next to them, and started cooing at you. "What a weird pet...! Did your owner leave you behind?" "Excuse me?!" You knew these mechs were hammered, but you couldn’t help but take offence. Never in your life has someone ever mistaken you for a pet as though you were a mere animal! "Aww, it understands me! Where is your owner, cutie?" The mech slurred drunkenly. Your glare on them hardened. You were about to start a whole new war between you and these specific Cybertronians, but before you could tear them into scrap metal, the huge cat behind you spoke up. "I would watch my glossa if I were you. You're talking to the planet Earth's official liaison. Just by their ranking, they outclass you two blockheads." "What was that, you little-!" The drunken bots raised their voices, and began to advance on Ravage threateningly (a very bad idea, and evidence of just how drunk they were), but Skids and Nautica intervened. Skids put a heavy hand on one bot's shoulder, and Nautica stepped in front of you to prevent you being crushed by the other bot. "I would leave before Swerve gets Ten to throw you guys out. Then you can get your engex from Mirage's bar from then on,” The blue outlier suggested. The drunken bots looked back at Swerve, who was already pointing them out to Ten. The bots grumbled, but they could see Ten making his way through the crowd towards them. They threw one last glare at Ravage, and then stalked out of the bar. Skids and Nautica watched them leave, and then turned to you, looking you over for injuries. "Sorry we weren’t there to stop them harassing you," Skids apologized. You waved your hand to dismiss Skids’ unnecessary apology. "No worries, I just can't stand drunk idiots." Nautica smiled wryly. "Luckily, we aren’t drunk enough to count as ‘drunk idiots’." You rolled your eyes at Nautica, before turning to look at the black cat, no, bot standing at your side. It was now obvious that he was no pet. You felt embarrassed at having treated him like one, especially after experiencing what that was like yourself. "Thank you for standing up for me. I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't stepped in. Ravage, was it?" "At your service." He nodded. You smiled lightly, but you were still confused as to why his designation was familiar. You thought about asking who he knew on the Lost Light, but you weren’t sure how to word it without sounding like those drunken bots that had asked you where your owner was. "You thought I was an animal, didn't you?" He said as if he had heard your thoughts. You panicked. "I- Uh… Ye- I mean-!" Your tongue tangled as you tried to deny the obvious truth. You snapped your eyes and mouth shut before you could offend Ravage even further. You took a deep breath, and then looked him in the optics. "I'm so sorry. I didn’t mean to disrespect you. I know less about Cybertronians than I would like to admit." "I forgive you,” he said. You blinked. "Really?" "Yes,” Ravage said. "You aren't the first and won't be the last to mistake me for a pet. Though you are the first to ever apologize for it." "I said I was sorry!" Nautica cried out. Ravage side-eyed Nautica, recalling how she would constantly try to pet him, despite being threatened with bodily harm. Not forgiven. Skids patted his friend on the shoulder to console her, before looking at you. "We're going to do a couple of shots. Do you want to join us?" You shook your head. "No thank you. I’m done for the night." "If you wait a moment, I can drive you to your habsuite,” Skids offered. You shook your head. "Thank you for the offer, but I don’t mind walking. It’s not far." Skids was about to insist, but before he could, Ravage cut him off. "I'll walk them. I was on my way to Megatron’s habsuite anyway, before those two slaggers did something they’ll regret." You would accept his offer, but first, you had to do what you were originally planning. You walked up to Ravage, with confidence this time. You grabbed the rod that was stuck between his back joints, and yanked it out. You threw the rod on the floor, and it clattered before rolling away. Ravage stretched his back just like cats on Earth did, and you had to remind yourself that he was a bot like Skids or Nautica. When he was done stretching, he turned to you and nodded to the bar's exit. "Ready to go?" "Lead the way,” you said. The two of you left the bar together. You were walking down the immense hallway side-by-side, talking about this and that. You learned so much about Ravage - how he was just like any other mech, except how he was forged into this mechanimal-like body. So, he was like a man, you thought. Then you arrived at your habsuite, and turned to your new unusual friend. "Thank you for escorting me, Ravage… but I have to know, do you know the meaning of that plastic plant that was hanging above your head earlier?" "I must admit that I don't,” Ravage said. You smiled lightly, and leaned in towards him… but before you could do anything you might regret, you cupped Ravage's face between your palms, and looked into his red optics. "Is it okay if I kiss you? I won't go to the brig, or anything like that?" Ravage's optics twinkled, and he gave you a look that you would later realize was amusement. "You may kiss me." You smiled, and gently kissed the mech on his forehead. "A kiss for my hero,” you whispered. "You did it wrong." "Wha-?!" You were cut off as Ravage lunged forward, pressing his lips to yours. Your eyes widened in shock, but then you heard one of the most blessed noises there was. Purring. He was purring! You relaxed into the kiss at that soothing sound, and your eyes slid shut. The black mech was first to pull back, immensely enjoying the dazed look on your face. "You can find me at Megatron's quarters if you want to grab a drink tomorrow." He grinned, exposing his canines, before turning and leaving, his long tail flicking in amusement. You stared after Ravage, completely speechless after that kiss. The cat got your tongue.

[liloscreativeadventures]

No Goodbyes 1/2

Summary: Death among the Legends of Tomorrow hits closer to home. Takes place during Crisis on Earth-X.

Pairing: Raymond Palmer x OC (Isla Villegas); Barry Allen x OC (briefly mentioned)

Author’s note: So I’ve been binge watching Legends of Tomorrow and for some reason this particular episode hit me harder than I had imagine. But I realized I had to make it a two part as this first part was getting to be way too long. I only own Isla.

Isla stood in the medbay with Jax and Martin. Jax and Isla watched as Martin took his last breath. Isla felt the tears surrounding her eyes as she reached up to touch his shoulder. Jax stepped closer trying to call out to him to wake up. But it was to no avail. The two Legends looked at each other. Both with tears in their eyes. They reached for each other before the tears started to fall from both of their eyes. The reality finally hitting them both. “I-I-have to tell Clarissa and Lily.” Jax said as his voice wavered. 

“I’ll go with you.” Isla said thinking about how Clarissa and Lily.

Jax looked at her shaking his head, “You have to stay here and fight, Isla. They need you. Without Grey, I’m limited to what I can do. Grey would want you to stay and fight.”

Isla could only nod her head as more tears came out. She couldn’t argue with that. It was the truth. They both knew that Professor Stein always wanted them to help the team. Jax kissed her head before he whispered, “We just have to remember that he’s proud of us. He and I know you can do this. I’ll be back to join you. Now go kick some ass.”

Jax let her go before he touched Martin’s shoulder and headed out of the Medbay. Isla wiped her eyes as she sat down next to Martin. She held Martin’s hand. He had always been a father figure for her ever since they had met in Star Labs. He treated her like she was his own daughter. He was there during the most difficult time in her life.

*Flashback*

Isla sat in the medical room in S.T.A.R. Labs. She was staring at the test tube that sat in front of her. She was supposed to be focusing on the DNA of the metahuman that they had run into but her mind could not focus. Her mind was thinking about Barry, who she had been with for over two years. He had asked to talk to her before they both went into work about something that had been bothering him. They had been together for two years and all of a sudden he wanted to call it quits. His excuse or reasoning was that he couldn’t be in a relationship while being the Flash. To say she was caught off guard was an understatement. She couldn’t believe what she was hearing.

Two years of being with someone, who she thought loved her as much as she loved them wasted. She didn’t even understand why he would think that him being the Flash would affect their relationship. But whatever if that was what he wanted, what could she do? 

Well here she was sitting in the lab crying. “Are you okay, Isla?” She heard a voice say as she jumped. Isla turned from her seat to see Professor Martin Stein walking towards her. He could see the tears surrounding her eyes. “Hey sweetie, what’s wrong?” He asked.

“It’s nothing, Professor Stein.” Isla said wiping her eyes, “Did you need help with something?“

“No dear, I don’t need help with anything. I saw you in here alone so I figured you could use the company.” He said as Isla looked down at her hands.

“I can’t do it, Professor. I can’t be here. I can’t be around him. I just can’t.” She said as the tears started to flow from her eyes.

He pulled her into an embrace and rubbed her back as she cried. Every ounce of emotion that she had been feeling and holding inside coming out. “You can’t be around who, Isla?” He asked.

“I can’t be around Barry. Not-not-anymore. Not - after he decided he didn’t want to be with me anymore after 2 years of being together.” Isla said.

Professor Stein’s jaw dropped as he looked at her, “But why would give him a reason to say something like that?”

Isla pulled away from Professor Stein wiping her eyes, “Said that being the Flash was affecting our relationship. How could 2 years of being together make him suddenly think something like that?”

“Oh my dear, I’m not sure.” He said, “But everything will be okay. I promise. You will get through this.”

He pulled her into a hug again. His emotions feeling sorry for Isla. She was like a daughter to him ever since they had met. So it hurt to see her going through this. Enduring a nasty break-up.

*End Flashback*

She looked at Professor Stein. He looked so at peace. She liked to think of him as a Papa Bear for her. Since that day, she had seen him as that father figure she never had. He had saved her life and she would be forever grateful. He had helped her heal by allowing her to move in with his wife, Clarissa and him. To give her an opportunity to find peace away from Barry. Yes he might have been a little stubborn and overbearing but she understood that he had his reasons. He was only looking for the best in everyone. He gave her a second opportunity to understand that Barry may have hurt her but there would be someone, who would help her heal her heart completely and fall in love.

And fall in love, she did with someone she didn’t even think it was possible to fall in love with. Raymond Palmer. They had started off as friends but over time things slowly started to change. Ray acted on his feelings with the help of Jax and asked her out. Since then, the two have been inseparable. Wherever one was the other was there too.

Isla wiped the tears that were streaming down her face and whispered, “I’m so sorry, Martin. That should have been me. I should have been there instead of you. If I could turn back time, I would but I know how you feel about that.” She said feeling her eyes water.

Ray and the rest of the team stood outside the Medbay watching Isla. Sara touched his shoulder nodding her head, “Come on.”

Ray walked over to Isla and looked down at her before placing a hand on her shoulder, “I’m sorry, baby girl.”

“That should have been me! I should have been the one that died!” Isla argued as Sara looked at her.

“Isla-” Sara started to say but Isla cut her off.

She moved Ray’s hand off her shoulder and got up shouting, “No it’s the truth! That should be me right there! He had everything to live for. His daughter, his wife, Ronnie and everyone here. He had more of a reason to still be here. Not me!”

Her tears coming out again as she pushed past Ray and out of the MedBay. Ray watched her with his heart breaking for her. He looked at Sara saying, “I’m gonna go check on her. We’ll be at the Brig.”

Sara reached for him and said, “Hey just make sure she’s okay. We can handle this. Just make sure our family is okay.”

He nodded his head walking to the Professor touching the Professor’s shoulder. Patting it, he whispered, “Thank you, Professor, for everything that you’ve done not just for me but for her. But thank you for bringing her into my life.”

*Isla’s Quarters*

Isla sat on the bed staring at a picture of her, Ray and Professor Stein. A photo taken on Christmas Day. Isla’s favorite holiday. She had always been a sentimental person. She wanted to cherish all the important moments in her life. Like Professor Stein being the one to introduce Ray and her. She traced her fingers over the picture.

Ray leaned against the door frame just watching her. He knew how much she adored and loved Professor Stein. She loved him so much and spent most of her time learning as much as she could from him. He stepped into the room as the doors to her quarters closed. Walking towards her, Ray saw her look up at him. “Hey.” She said setting the photo on the stand next to her bed.

“I’m sorry. I know how much he meant to you.” Ray said reaching for her hand.

“That should have been me, Ray. I was supposed to protect him. He still had so much in his life to live for. Ronnie especially.” Isla said as Ray used his finger to lift her chin so that she was looking at him.

“Isla, don’t say that. It was all of our jobs to protect him. I know that you’re hurting and we all are. But he wouldn’t want you to be talking like this.” Ray said as he wiped away one of her tears, “But to be honest, Isla, I couldn’t imagine the thought of losing you. You’ve been the best thing that’s happened to me and I will forever be grateful to Professor Stein for that. Because he gave me the best thing that I could have ever asked for.

Isla felt her cheeks flush at his words as he leaned down to kiss her. They pulled away as she stood up to hug him. He was the best thing to ever happen to her too. After Barry, she didn’t think that she would ever find someone for her nor did she think that she would actually be able to love someone as much as she had loved Barry. “Thank you, Ray.” She said as she looked up at him.

“It’s nothing. I just want you to be okay. I mean I know it’ll take some time but I’m here for you.” He said she leaned her head against his chest.

“I love you, Ray.” She whispered as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her head.

“I love you too, baby girl.” Ray said.

The two stood embracing each other for a few minutes before Ray looked down at her. They need to get ready to fight. She looked up at him and asked, “Time to go?”

“Unfortunately yes. You gonna be okay going out to fight?” Ray asked as she nodded her head.

“I have to do this for Profess Stein and Jax. Ready or not, I need to do this for them.” She said as he let her go.

“It’s okay to sit this out, Isla. You know Sara would be okay with that.” He said as she shook her head no.

“I’ll be fine. Meet you at the brig?” She said as he nodded his head.

Isla tiptoed to kiss his cheek before leaving her quarters to get dressed. Ray followed before he got dressed as well. A few minutes later, the team met in the brig. Ray had already been there with everyone else when Isla came into the room. Barry’s eyes looked at her from across the room and Isla looked at him before turning her head to look at Sara. Sara came over to ask if she was okay and if she wanted to sit this out but Isla shook her head no. She needed to do this. Sara gave her a hug before Isla walked over to stand beside Ray and Nate.

“Here’s another difference between me and you. I don’t abandon my friends.” Oliver yelled at his evil counterpart before disconnecting the hologram.

“Alright, everybody ready to go?” Sara asked.

“Never been more.” Nate said.

“We can’t bring Marty back, but we can protect the city he loved, and the family he left behind.” Ray said as he and Nate squeezed Isla’s hand for reassurance.

“For the professor.” Sara said, “Now let’s go kick some ass.”