#i saw someone justifying this with how he acted in the book

[skippyhawk]

okay i’ve been here for only a few days now yet it’s already driving me absolutely crazy how people keep implying that hawk is somehow the villain in this story. absolutely not.

bigotry is the evil in this story, just as it was and is in real life. they are all victims of their circumstances. this show exhibits a heartbreakingly poignant example of how different kinds of people deal with the societal obligation to suppress a huge, intrinsic part of themselves. sorry, but if you think hawk’s the villain here, you shouldn’t be watching this show at all.

media literacy TRULY is at an all time low

[bohoteacher]

Navigating Betrayal: Reconciling Admiration with Disillusionment

Like many Neil Gaiman fans this month, I've been shocked and distressed by the news regarding the SA allegations. I won't go over the details, as they're readily available online. I'll start by saying that I believe the accusers, and even the most lenient interpretation of events is still troubling enough to discredit Gaiman. For a long time, I didn't know what to say. I was just shocked and, somewhat naively, felt betrayed. I don't typically idolize actors, authors, or other public figures—I'm here for the characters, they're who I love and believe in. So, how did I end up believing in this man and his rhetoric?

I only had a parasocial relationship with him, which is to say no real relationship at all. But I took his Masterclass on writing, spent hours taking notes, and learned from him. I feel betrayed by someone I saw as a beloved teacher. I know this is insignificant compared to what the women who came forward experienced, but it's a valid feeling, and I needed time to process it. My initial reaction was to throw out and discount everything he’s ever written or done—of course it was.

This isn't just about my love for Good Omens, although how can it not be? I learned so much from this man—about writing, about not being too hard on myself, about the creative process. I read his books to my middle school classes, and we all learned how to be better people from them. Today, I saw and bought Instructions, a children’s book by Neil Gaiman illustrated by Charles Vess, from the used bookstore where I volunteer. It was a used copy, so no royalties will go to him. It’s a beautifully illustrated book where the main character walks through a land that clearly symbolizes life, learning lessons like saying please and "if any creature cries to you that it hurts, if you can, ease its pain." How could someone write this and then do what he did? I asked myself. "What an evil hypocrite," was my first thought. But then I recalled a line from another author, Stephen King. In The Stand, a character is described as "awake at the lectern, but asleep at the switch," meaning they know the right thing to do and can talk about it, but in the moment of choice, they act without integrity.

I don’t know if I’m making sense, but I think it’s too easy to label Gaiman as simply evil, as if he intentionally manipulated us by saying the right things just to make us read or watch his creations. The reality is likely far more complicated. Within this man is the amazing, thought-provoking, life-affirming wisdom that many of us have tried to live by, but also the hard, thoughtless, selfish cruelty that led him to abuse young, vulnerable women. The wisdom does not justify the abuse, and the abuse does not nullify the wisdom.

I think it's too simplistic to say Gaiman is despicable and always has been, hiding it from us all along. This doesn't acknowledge the complexity of human nature—that there is potential for both good and bad within us all. As it’s said, possibly by Terry Pratchett or possibly by Neil Gaiman, “It may help to understand human affairs to be clear that most of the great triumphs and tragedies of history are caused, not by people being fundamentally good or fundamentally bad, but by people being fundamentally people.”

Gaiman is a man who has done some fundamentally good things and some fundamentally bad things. I can’t forget either one.

This is just my opinion. I know some people want to cancel him, while others want to exonerate him. You do you. As for me, I will continue to love Aziraphale and Crowley. I will continue to read and create fan-fiction. I will continue to find comfort and wisdom in books that have meant so much to me over the years. But I will also remember that they were created by a very flawed man whom I can no longer trust.

I understand that opinions on this matter vary widely. I know some people might feel that not discarding everything associated with him is wrong, but this is where I stand. I’m not looking to debate this or be told how I should react. I just needed to process my thoughts in writing and move forward in the way that feels right for me.

[bonesashesglass]

God, I’m just so mad and upset and I need to rant for a minute:

I live in Wisconsin, where the last several years winters here have been scarily mild. It’s not uncommon for us to have a mild winter every few years or so, but we’ve been having milder and milder winters for the past several years in a row. Winters here are supposed to be long and snowy. It’s supposed to start snowing in November, sometimes October, and the snow doesn’t melt all the way till April, sometimes early May.

Last year, I felt like we barely even had a winter. There was snow on the ground for maybe two months total, it kept melting and then coming back, which isn’t supposed to happen. The snow will maybe melt after the first couple times, but once you get to December, it’s supposed to stay on the ground until Spring.

Same thing is happening this year. It’ll snow for like two days, stick for maybe one day, and melt. It’ll stay that way for a couple of weeks. It’s January now. The fact that there’s no snow on the ground, in fucking Wisconsin, is alarming. The fact that this has been happening several years in a row now is alarming. I’m seeing it happen right in front of me. We’re all seeing the effects of climate change now, and we’re seeing how it’s directly destroying and harming the planet. We can see it with our own eyes.

I’m thinking about the fires in LA right now. I saw someone talk about how they were alarmed they were getting these kinds of winds in January. (I’m not familiar with LA climate but this person talked about how abnormal it is).

Everything the scientists have been saying about climate change is coming true. It’s happening right in front of us, for the whole world to see. And still, the people responsible, the right-wing politicians and businesspeople that profit off of this just deny deny deny. How can you deny what’s happening right in front of everyone? They are destroying our planet, and they still think they can deny it happening. It just makes me so angry. That a handful of people have the power to destroy our planet and refuse to even acknowledge it. They act like the words “climate change” is liberal propaganda. As if it’s not something we can see happening right before our eyes. They pretend it’s political, they pretend it’s a conspiracy, because they have no other way to justify being against protecting the planet.

One thing that angers me most is that the only thing people seem to do about this is complain on social media. (I know, that’s exactly what I’m doing, but hear me out). LA is burning to the ground because of climate change, and what’s anybody going to do about it? Make a post on Twitter? Maybe write an article about it?

That doesn’t change anything. We need change. We need direct action. It’s only going to get worse if we keep letting companies and governments continue as they are. They cannot continue as they are.

If you haven’t heard of the book How to Blow Up a Pipeline, go look it up. The author talks about a lot of the stuff I want to get at here, but he puts it a lot better.

My hope is that these LA fires will start a movement for stopping climate change. Not just a general shift of opinion like we’ve seen the past few years, but a real movement where people show up in person to do something. We exist in a time where Luigi Mangione is seen as a hero for his actions, I hope people will get inspired to take more direct action in regards to climate change. (That doesn’t mean shooting more people, I’m not advocating for murder, but we need to start taking action beyond just complaining on social media).

I’m going to start researching resources to help myself and others to get more involved with preventing climate change. I hope one day, we’ll have an actual winter in Wisconsin again. To everyone in LA, please please stay safe❤️

[cocoandthequill]

Uninvited Pt. 1

Pairing: !Dark!Rick Grimes x !Neighbour! Reader

Summary: After welcoming a new group into Alexandria things start getting strange. You feel as if someone is by your side at all times.

Warnings: Stalking, Harassment, Obsessive Behaviour, Sexual Remarks, Manipulation, Corruption, Age Gap, Rick being creepy

Rick Grimes should have never opened the door when you knocked.

It all started the day after his arrival in Alexandria. There you stood, a basket of homemade baked goods in your small hands, a bright, toothy smile on your doll-like, freckled face. You couldn’t have been any older than your early twenties."Good morning, Mr. Grimes. My name is Y/n. I wanted to introduce myself and welcome you to our community. Let me know if you need help with anything," you chirped.

The man was more than just intrigued. Honestly, he was a bit taken aback by how bold you seemed. From what he’d observed about the other residents, they all seemed pretty reserved. But you weren’t intimidated by him—not even a little. A guy who had clearly been discussed all around town already. They probably called him all sorts of things: a killer, a neanderthal, a madman.But he wasn’t planning on killing you. Oh no… he had very clear plans for this little angel. That’s what he decided to call you the moment his eyes landed on your small frame for the first time.

From that day on, you were the only thing important enough to occupy his mind. Rick spent his days consumed by thoughts of you and your innocent, girlish demeanor. He knew it was all just an act, and he was determined to corrupt you once and for all.

He was going to make you crave him just as much as he craved you.

To achieve this and make you all his, he created a plan.It started off pretty simple, actually. Rick managed to coerce Deanna into giving him a spare set of keys that would allow him to enter all the properties on the grounds of Alexandria. He had a talent for persuading people into giving him what he wanted. He justified it as a way to ensure the community’s safety—checking for hidden threats, securing vulnerable spots. But deep down, he knew it was about more than that. Having the keys meant he could always be close to his angel, and he would be able to protect you at any time. And you didn’t even have to know it.

So, then he started sneaking into your house. At first, he only came to you in the deep of night, when he was sure everyone else in town would be fast asleep. He would watch his precious girl while she was sleeping, her peaceful breaths and gentle movements under the covers making his heart race. It was like he was witnessing something sacred, something fragile, and he was the protector of it all. His hands itched to reach out, to touch your silky skin, but he always resisted. He couldn’t risk getting caught—not yet. Not when you still saw him as just another neighbor, someone who might wave at you in passing or help you carry your groceries.

Instead, he started leaving you little gifts. This was his way of showing you affection. He would leave roses in every single room of your house. Sometimes he would even come in broad daylight. Then, he got even bolder and started leaving you notes. He was always direct when stating what he wanted to do to you, though he always made sure to keep the messages subtle enough that you wouldn’t feel threatened—at least not at first. His words were wrapped in polite phrases, almost poetic in a way, but there was no mistaking the intent behind them. The notes would be left where you’d find them: on your kitchen counter, under your pillow, tucked into the pages of your favorite book.

"I can’t stop thinking about the way you look when you laugh. You are so beautiful and you make me feel alive again, angel."

At first, you might have thought they were just innocent gestures, a quirky way of showing appreciation for a friendly neighbor. But as time went on, you began to feel a growing unease, a sense that there was something more lurking beneath the surface. Each gift seemed to carry an unspoken message, an invitation to something deeper, something darker.

One evening, after you found a particularly unsettling note hidden in your coat pocket, you decided to confront him. This had just entirely crossed the line.

"I enjoy watching you play with yourself. Just image what my head could do between your thighs if you would just succumb and become my little slut.“

The next time you saw Rick, he was standing in his usual spot on the porch, eyes scanning the street as if waiting for something. You approached with the note clenched tightly in your hand, your heart pounding in your chest."Mr. Grimes," you said, your voice steady despite the nerves twisting in your stomach. "We need to talk."

Rick turned slowly, his expression unreadable at first. Then, when his gaze landed on the note, his lips curled into a small, almost imperceptible smile."I figured you'd find it eventually," he said, his voice low and almost tender. "I just wanted you to know how much you mean to me."

You shook your head, backing away slightly. "This isn't normal, Rick. You can’t just—"

He stepped closer, his presence overwhelming as he cut you off. "It is normal for me, angel," he said softly. "You make me feel alive again. You make me want to protect you, to keep you safe... in ways you can't even begin to understand yet."

The words hung in the air like a weight, suffocating you. For a moment, you couldn’t speak, couldn’t move. Everything in you screamed to run, to escape, but your feet stayed frozen.

Rick wasn’t just a neighbor anymore. He wasn’t just someone you had met briefly and hoped to befriend, maybe even felt a bit attracted to at one point. He had become something much more dangerous. And in that moment, as he took another step forward, you realized just how deeply entangled you were in his web.

Rick Grimes had already claimed you. And now, there was no escaping him.

[outlanderskin]

Tobias Menzies

I was reading on a card how much would fit in ten years and I saw that in 10 Years

fit 120 Months

521,714 Weeks

3652 Days

87648 Hours

5258880 Minutes

315532800 Seconds.

And even in all this, it doesn't fit what it meant for me to wait for him.

Within these 10 years, there are memories of being persecuted since the beginning when I said that he was my favorite.

All the times, I had to explain the difference between actors and characters for people who hated him because of Frank and BJR.

All the times I've had to say that I really like Sam, but that at the top of my list will always be Tobias, and this isn't a sin.

All the times I said there was no dispute between them.

All the times I was hurt when I saw people from my side of the fandom excluding him from photos or wishing he wouldn't go to some events because it would "take the focus" away from the main actors couple (yes, this stupid thing happened).

I've been in this fandom since the beginning, and anyone who knows me knows that for me, it's always been about him. I'm not someone who started using Tobias to justify hatred or to disguise an unhealthy love for Sam. It was natural from the first day I looked at him. And a thousand times, I've expressed my pride about how private, talented, different, down-to-earth he is.

I've been going to Cons of Outlander since 2015, but he rarely does Cons, I had already met the loves of my fandom friends' lives, but never mine. Until Saturday, April 13, 2024.

When I took the first photo (with him and Sam) and saw him for the first time, everything around me disappeared completely. There he was, finally. I was practically led by my friend, I gathered all the courage to say where I came from, then he blinked, and all my senses and rationality, and 🎶🎶🎶 all that was me, was gone🎶. I don't remember how I left the room, but my friends remember... I needed to be strong, I thought. There would still be three photos with him alone (one of them a gift from much-loved friends), a photo with him and Sophie, and an autograph. I would have to maintain my sanity until then.

For the first time, I understood the fact that Sam Heughan's fans left photo shoots shaking.

During the photo shoot, I spoke quietly, and so did he, and for me, it was like a dance because I said he decided the poses and I followed. I left the session and I want to thank from the bottom of my heart the girl on the team who asked me how I was and I could only say "he's my favorite" and she hugged me.

There was a rush at the autograph, but I gave him a book about theatre from my country, and I believe it was a gift he didn't expect. He thanked me with his hand on his chest, like the gentleman he is and at that moment I wanted to be royalty because I was going to give him all the honors of a noble English knight that I could find in the Buckingham Palace . Do I like British Monarchy? I like Tobias Menzies.

Ah....how I wish I could sit down with him and say he has a fan page that I manage, say that I admire him for being truly discreet in every way. Ask about his process of acting , speak about Stanislavski, Brecht, Ibsen, talk about my experiences in the classroom with The Theater of the Oppressed and say how good is for me to see someone like him acting. But conventions are collective experiences, and there would be no time.

In ten years, a lot can happen... all this time waiting for him. And I would do it all again. Someone like him was worth waiting for.

[plantsjustwannahavefun]

"Izzy Canyon dwellers just want to turn him into an innocent victim who did nothing wrong!"

Actually my problem is that, in hindsight, Izzy didn't do enough wrong to justify the common interpretation of his relationship with Ed. In my book, the first time in the series he legitimately crossed over to villainous antagonist territory - someone you actually loved to hate for it even if you understood his reasons - was when he set the British Navy on the Revenge. That way he not only betrayed his integrity as a pirate by consorting with the common enemy of all pirates, but risked Ed's life too - cause, like, come on, that "plan" to send CJ to convince Ed to leave Stede was so far-fetched it barely counts as a plan. I don't buy Izzy ever looking at CJ and going "yep that seems like a smart, responsible, trustworthy man I could rely on for a delicate mind games operation like this". It was an act of sheer desperation on Izzy's part, but he still chose to do it. IMO this was actually worse than what he said to Ed in S1 finale. Although of course that was very nasty, too.

But the thing is, we don't actually have any info on what their relationship used to be like before S1. We were only ever shown, not told - and both times from Izzy's perspective: the first time in S01E04 during his resignation rant, which was very heartfelt and I'm sure a lot of it was true, but it's still one-sided, and the second time during his deathbed speech, which was, again, one-sided and this time biased in another direction - instead of airing his pent-up grievanced Izzy was putting most of the blame on himself.

Other than this, the entirety of Ed and Izzy's pre-S1 relationship gets extrapolated from one single episode, S01E04. The narrative itself seems to want us to see it as a microcosm of their usual long-standing dynamic, at least on the surface. We see Ed being depressed and suicidal, trying to open up to Izzy about it, and Izzy shutting him down and making him act like Blackbeard again. Since it's already clear that Ed and Stede are the main characters, we're primed to see Ed as the victim here and Izzy being an annoying, insensitive nag.

Except the context of those interactions changes everything. The context being that they are literally about to be attacked by the Spanish - something Ed knowingly brought on them with his decisive power as captain - and Ed is deliberately withholding crucial information from his own first mate and the rest of the crew, making them all think they're going to die and he isn't doing anything about it. Izzy wasn't just being a boring buzzkill not being excited for Ed when he showed him that ship model. He was actively panicking and trying to do his job asking Ed for orders so they don't all get slaughtered.

So, yeah, those are some very exceptional circumstances that don't say anything about their typical day to day interactions go when they're not in immediate mortal peril due to lack of communication. Was this the first time Ed ever told him about not wanting to be Blackbeard anymore? Izzy didn't seem very surprised, so probably not, but we don't know, and if Ed had confided in him before, we don't know how Izzy reacted - but I'd like to point out that this time he didn't ridicule Ed in any way, he simply pointed out that they were about to die if Ed didn't do anything. Does Izzy usually indulge Ed in the stuff he finds fun when they're not about to be killed? Again, we don't know, but Izzy's playfulness during that first confrontation with Stede in S01E02, and his whittling and jokes in S2 showed that he wasn't always as grouchy and joyless as he's made out to be. We actually saw him smile when Ed got excited about Buttons, too. Pretty sure if Izzy always shut him down about things like that, Ed would have stopped trying to share it with him long ago.

And, finally, there's one piece of this puzzle that doesn't seem to fit in with the rest at all. The show both told us and implied that Izzy couldn't let Blackbeard go because his own identity was too tied up in it, and because he idolised the glory of violent pirate lifestyle. But if that's the case, then why did he have no problem with Ed wanting to retire? Izzy literally gave him an enthusiastic thumbs up on the whole "kill Stede and steal his identity so he could live the rest of his life as a rich aristocrat" plan. If Izzy only admired Ed as a pirate, and was so hell-bent on keeping the Blackbeard persona alive, why was he ok with Ed retiring? How does this square up with the idea that Izzy had been keeping Ed chained to piracy?

I'd honestly hoped we would get some flashbacks of the two of them in S2, and then S3 before that hope died too, because there's still so much we're missing.

[spacerockfloater]

I am so displeased with Alicent’s character development, if you can even call it that.

Her taking her frustration out on Criston and slapping him because her grandchild died? Disturbing as hell, but I was willing to led it slide because she was grieving and it seemed like Cole understood that, too.

Her letting Gwayne insult the fuck out of Criston and be racist/ classist towards him without defending her lover in the slightest? The man who has no personal gain from all this shit-show and does it all for her sake? I was fucking livid. Tell me, whose loyalty is as fleeting as a moth’s again?

And then having the audacity to be angry with him for not standing up for her when she herself didn’t do the same for him? What is wrong with her!? Especially when Criston made a perfectly valid point: she doesn’t have the heart to do what must be done to win this war, which is crazy considering that she was fully ready to fight Rhaenyra to protect her children. The children she borderline hates now apparently (I can’t get over how much she suddenly disapproves of Aegon and Aemond this season), which would have been fine since they are her rapist’s children and all, but then why would you go to war and not be ready to do whatever it takes to win it? What do her and Rhaenyra think that they’re doing here? Did they plan on being the first pacifist war leaders in the history of the universe or what? Neither of the two act like women with motherly instincts or humans with personal agendas to pursue. It’s as if all of the women in this show are competing for the fucking Nobel Peace Prize.

By the way, speaking of her and Rhaenyra, the parallel of them being women who are ignored by their council is so forced. Alicent never wanted to rule neither in the show or the book. In HOTD she supports her son’s claim to save her family from Rhaenyra and her faction and in F&B she does it because she feels that the law is on her son’s side and he deserves the throne. She NEVER does it for herself or because she thinks women shouldn’t rule. Never out of selfishness or misogyny. So where the fuck did this “parallel” come from? It’s so infuriating.

I understand this is not completely her fault. I think her character peaked in S1 E9 and the producers saw how justified her actions were and how sympathetic she is (even Emma D’Arcy said they are on her side) that they decided to knock her down a peg, because God forbid the Greens have anything good going on for them! Let’s make them all hate one another! She’s slowly regressing back to herself from the first half of S1, because the determined mother and queen that was ready to win at all costs is no longer there.

As someone who has spent countless hours of my life defending and praising her, I am so saddened by her behaviour this season. I know this is Ryan’s tactic to make us hate the Targtowers, but nonetheless it is show canon and I feel the need to be fair and hold her accountable for it.

[randomlifex]

Sunshine and storm

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ‘♡’- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Go Kyungjun x fem!reader

Plot:the sun shines and the storm doesn’t understand why he likes it, but when his clouds will cover her rays, he’ll do anything to make the sun shine again

Warnings:bad language

Please notice:in this timeline Seun hasn’t died yet so there’s no game going on

This story is a request

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - ‘♡’- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

The spring weather was approaching, the temperature rose and birds had finally begun to sing all day long.

“What a great day! -you exclaimed, hugging Seun, your friend- and in a few weeks cherry flowers will blossom! Finally my favourite colour will be everywhere again!” you clapped

Seun smiled, putting her book on the desk, then she watched as you sat next to her:

“How can you be always in such a good mood?” she asked

“How can you not be when it’s spring! It’s the season of blooming. Birds sing all day and animals come out from their hibernation”

“You make me nauseous” Kyungjun popped out from nowhere,sitting with Seungbin right behind you. You rolled your eyes hopelessly:knowing how he was, you didn’t expect him to appreciate the cute little things of life

“Man you gotta smile more, you’re always so angry. The situation is getting serious” you mumbled as the teacher came in

“You don’t wanna see me angry, do you, Snow white?” he hit the back of your head with a pen, making you groan in pain, then he shifted into the “I don’t care about the lesson” mood,texting…or at least that was what you thought.

The truth was that Kyungjun spent the whole class staring at you. He had been doing so a lot in the past weeks, shifting his eyes away only when you noticed it. He didn’t know why, but there was something leading him to you, even if he hated it, and acted like the meanest person on earth (not that he was nice, but he had never put you into troubles).

He wasn’t used to it, nor to your constant happy mood; and since those feelings were unknown to him he would find any reason to come for you, even when you were doing nothing besides being a nice teammate.

That day your team had been pretty unlucky:the teacher had decided the members on her own, meaning that if you had to play with good athletes like Hyunho and Kyungjun himself, who was the captain, you had to put up also with those, like Sungpyo and Yoonseo, who were terrible at PE.

She got called out lots of times by everyone, but to Kyungjun the real problem was Sungpyo; or better, he was the victim whose ass was supposed to be constantly beaten in order to scare everyone and get great results.

Hyunho tried many times to stop the bully, but he eventually got kicked out due to a so called “litigious behaviour” ; so, in order to calm everyone down, you tried to spread positivity, like you always used to do.

“It’s okay, next time we’ll score something”

“It can happen, I made mistakes too”

“Don’t think about it and let’s have fun! It’s about having a good time, not winning”

You were dispensing smiles and comfort as you saw that someone was actually on the edge of tears, but Kyungjun got even more mad:

“Ya! Yn! -he called you in the middle of the first break- what the fuck are you doing?!” he was yelling, his eyes burning like fire

“What…what do you mean?” You asked, a little bit scared

“What do I mean? Do you think that’s how you make a shitty team work?!”

“I’m just trying to be positive…they’re all stressed out…” you justified yourself

“Really? -he laughed- are you fucking kidding me?! “Trying to be positive”…bullshit. Do you know what you can do with your stupid positivity? Go home and stay there. Idiot” he scoffed

“But…”

“No buts. You’re getting on my nerves. What’s so funny to be constantly smiling and laughing? Uh? Come on tell me! Be serious for once, and let the captain be the captain. Go to the back lines, you suck anyway in the front” he shrugged his shoulders, pointing to the back of the field.

You looked around you, realising that everyone was staring, the your eyes rested on Kyungjun:

“You know what? -you were holding your tears back- fuck you and this stupid game! Get a new player to cover your shitty back lines. Asshole!” you yelled, running away to hide in the first empty classroom you had found.

Kyungjung looked at you:something inside him shattered as soon as he realised you were terribly hurt. “Did I…did I cover the sunshine with my clouds?” he asked himself, feeling guilty as hell.

You spent the whole lesson crying in a corner of the room, next to the blackboard, suffocating your sobs in order to not be found by anyone. You didn’t want people to see you in those conditions, you had promised yourself to be always happy to make everyone around you happy as well. Your friends used to call you “sunshine” for a reason, and you loved it, just like you loved keeping up your good mood. Why Kyungjun had to ruin everything? You hated him. He was always so mad, so mumbling, so rude…was it so hard for him to relax at least once? And if it was, who allowed him to ruin everyone’s mood? No one!

The more you thought about it, the more you felt sad. You kept seeing his angry face, and his yells wouldn’t stop resonating in your mind. You brought your knees to your chest, hiding your face in the cloth of your tracksuit…until you heard someone.

A hand rested on your leg, squeezing it. You rose your head, seeing Kyungjun kneeling in front of you.

“Go away” you scoffed

“You need to see something”

“I don’t want to. Leave me alone”

“It’s urgent. Come on” he grabbed your arm, forcing you to follow him to the backyard.

“I swear to God if it’s something stupid…” you weren’t even able to finish the phrase as wonder got your mouth to open wide

“You tell me if that’s something stupid to you” Kyungjun said, carelessly.

You didn’t know what to answer, you were too busy staring at the flowering cherry blossom in front of you…the first of the season.

“When did you find it?” you asked, grabbing the boy’s arm

“Yesterday, during the break”

“Why didn’t you show it to me?!” sadness had already left your body. It took nothing to make you happy, Kyungjun thought, but he was okay with that. He didn’t want to see you crying ever again.

“I wanted to, but I forgot. That’s just a stupid tree after all…” he shrugged his shoulders, hiding a smile

“That’s not! -you started jumping- that’s the first cherry blossom of the season!!” you then exclaimed, taking a bunch of pictures.

“You good now?” he asked, still cold. His facade was hard to fall.

“What do you mean?” you blinked

“Are you okay now? You were crying…”

“Yes, I cried cuz you’re a rude asshole” you crossed your arms, giving him your back.

Kyungjun stepped closer, wrapping an arm around your shoulder:

“I crossed the line…” he talked

For a second you were surprised…was he apologising for the first time in his life?!

“But you got me angry there. Don’t do that again” he scoffed, letting you go with a path on the shoulder.

Of course he wasn’t, not openly, not that time, but you knew his intentions when he showed you that tree:he was aware of the fact that he had fucked up, and was trying to fix things in his own way.

“I did not made you angry…you were born angry” you said, sticking your tongue out.

Kyungjun didn’t reply, he simply put his hands in his pockets and walked away; but, once again, he was smiling behind your back.

[lucky-clover-gazette]

i’m not interacting directly with the post that brought up this topic, but i will say that if laurent saw someone claiming that what he did to damen in book 1 was justified, he would start picking up chairs.

laurent takes his own moral integrity very seriously, so even if we set aside his love for damen he would absolutely say that what he (laurent) did in book 1 was unequivocally unjust. it may have been done out of revenge rather than aimless cruelty, but it would still be a source of shame for laurent to know that he 1) did those things and 2) got any kind of gratification from doing those things, even to his worst enemy. look at how he acts after aimeric’s suicide—he experiences regret and knows that he was wrong to take it as far as he did. he tells damen specifically that he’d been wrong in book 1 to treat him (damen) so cruelly, and given laurent’s high standards of integrity, i believe that he means it. that wasn’t just something he said to be nice to damen, or because they fell in love—it’s because laurent knows he went against his own moral code for it, especially considering that damen is also a morally decent person and not a monster.

when laurent treated damen how he did in book 1, he met damen’s assumed depravity with what laurent understood to be depravity of his own. laurent was being evil, on purpose, because he thought damen deserved it. but part of laurent’s growth in the series is understanding that his assumptions can sometimes be wrong, his actions were unjust regardless of damen’s status, he (laurent) was being a hypocrite, and he (laurent) needs to do better. damen learns the same lesson, just about different topics (slavery, his rose-colored perception of akielos and kastor). these character arcs contribute to damen and laurent’s “coming-of-maturity” so they can rule together as kings.

a character’s actions being unjustifiable, at some point of the story, does not mean that they are ultimately a character who stands for and represents injustice. laurent can be a good person who did bad, unjustified things. in fact the power of his characterization comes from his moral complexity. to rob him of those things is to rob yourself of fully understanding and appreciating this one-of-a-kind character and story.

part of what makes fandom great is that people can have discussions to better understand appreciate a piece of media they all enjoy. these are just my personal thoughts on the matter. some people will share them and some will disagree! i’m down for it all :)

[aceoflights]

Lucas Johnson

Saw an other post and wanted to write down my own thoughts and feelings. I haven't read tgr yet, because I'm waiting for the physical book to come out, so I'm only working on information from tsc.

I've seen some people say they hate Lucas. And I suppose I get it. I get why Jean would hate him for sure.

But as someone who loves complex characters and relationships, I really can't hate him. Because everything he does is very understandable (I wanna use the German word nachvollziehbar. Which means something like understandable, but feels less weighted. It feels less like you're justifying someone's actions) imo.

Like, put yourself in his shoes. His brother, who he was pretty close to, goes of to college. On a sports scholarship. Of a sport they both play and love. Very exciting. Lucas probably can't wait for him to come back and tell him all about it. But he doesn't. Grayson doesn't come back. For years. Lucas has essentially lost his brother. He doesn't even know what's going on. Probably thinks Grayson abandoned him. Doesn't care about him anymore (sort of correct).

I have a brother (although younger). We're not very close. Never really have been. But I love him so dearly. If my brother went of to college and just didn't come back, I would be heartbroken. I would honestly probably try to go there and get him. Because what the fuck?

Then he is back. His cult collapsed and he's finally home. Lucas thinks he finally has his brother back. But he won't even acknowledge him. The only thing he ever has a reaction to is Jean. So of course when he says he wants to talk to Jean, Lucas says okay. Lucas thinks this might be the only way he could possibly get his brother back. Maybe him having a talk with Jean could be a first step for something. Or Lucas' foot in the door to be able to talk to his brother.

Of course he should've at least told Jean in advance. Probably shouldn't have even agreed to it in the first place, if he paid attention to how Jean acts every time Grayson is mentioned. But despite the fact that he feels like he doesn't really know him anymore, Lucas still feels like his brother is in there. Like he could get him back. And the Grayson he knows would never harm someone in that way. Would never attack someone like that. Would keep his promise of "I only want to talk to him". He doesn't want to believe that his brother could ever do things like that. And obviously when it happens he tries to intervene. He obviously didn't want this to happen. He thought this could be a way to get his brother back. Obviously it was selfish, because he knew that Grayson hated Jean. And he knew Jean implied some not great things. But he's heard bad rumours about Jean for months, and that's his brother. His priority is to get his brother back. Now that he probably feels closer to the possibility of that than he has in years. Now that Grayson is at least physically there.

And then of course it goes horribly wrong. In a way Jean and we, the readers, immediately saw coming. But Lucas couldn't have. I think even in his worst case scenario, he wouldn't have guessed it would happen like that. Because Lucas knows essentially nothing about what went on in the Nest. he has no idea what kind of violence was common place. And he would never think that his brother could be part of that.

I understand why people are mad at him, but I just can't be (and I don't want to be. Because my heart just absolutely breaks for him. This boy who lost his brother in so many ways. First physically, then emotionally, and then the image he had of him. It is all completely shattered. And now Lucas is going to loose him in the most finite of ways. I don't even know yet, if he will be able to talk to him before he dies (as i said, haven't read tgr yet).

[balladofmyramblings]

I’ve seen my fair share of…interesting BOSAS takes (Tigris and Snow’s relationship doesn’t make sense, Sejanus wasn’t important to Coriolanus/Coriolanus’ character, Dean Highbottom was inconsistent, people just called Lucy Gray Lucy instead of LG or something, etc) but never has one irked me as much as people saying the ending was rushed or out of character or didn’t make sense.

The ending is a representation of their whole relationship. Yeah, it’s rushed, because it lasted 3 months and they were prepared to spend their life together after that. No, it was completely in character. Yes, it made total sense, because what else would have convinced Coriolanus to go back, if not the idea that he was safe?

First off, elaborating on the rushed point, be so fr. 1, the book was getting a bit long anyways, and 2, it couldn’t have been long and drawn out. How quick their relationship crumbled and we were shown Coriolanus’ true loyalties shows so much I can’t even begin to explain it, but I’ll try.

It shows how Lucy Gray valued family and trust. She’d already talked about how much trust mattered to her, and she’d been hurt so badly before she needed it. She needs trust, and she doesn’t just need it for herself. She needs to be able to trust him, and she needs him to be able to trust her. When Coriolanus obviously lied about the third person he killed, Lucy Gray realized that neither of those things were there.

It shows how Coriolanus valued himself and the capitol above all else. He was going to, and tried to, kill Lucy Gray. The person who, just 10 minutes ago he was prepared to spend the rest of his life with. He did that because he couldn’t be guaranteed loyalty, and because he realized she definitely didn’t belong to him. Coriolanus’ view of Lucy Gray- that she’s a pet, or something just for him, is entirely effed up and he can’t see that, so he clings to it. He clings to that idea of her being his and when it’s proven false, he can’t let go of it.

Lucy Gray was there when Coriolanus lied to her about the killing, and there was only one person he could have also killed. She was wary of him then, what he was capable of, but she didn’t know for sure where his loyalty truly laid until she saw the look on his face with the guns. She knew then that the Coriolanus standing before her she couldn’t trust, and she knew what that meant, and Coriolanus knew she knew what that meant and he couldn’t deal with the fact she wasn’t completely infatuated with him.

It’s also worthy to mention how easily Coriolanus started to see Lucy Gray differently. He justified his killing of her to himself, as we see in the whole “she’s a victor, maybe Billy taupe was right, etc” page. He thinks that it may have been an act all along, and can’t deal with the fact he fell in love with someone who could turn on him so easily. So he justifies it and makes stuff up and uses all he can to convince himself of the devilish nature of Lucy Gray.

Coriolanus’ deep, unwavering faith in the capitol is shown here so clearly I feel like it’s bleeding into my eyes. He was so ready to leave her (also how he thought she’d be ok with it also proves how he sees her as completely loyal) when he realized he was basically innocent. He is only ever scared of the capitol when it could harm him.

Their whole relationship was a whirlwind, and could never have had a breakup 3 chapters long. It needed to be quick and easy, all ties cut. The fate of Lucy Gray also needed to be a mystery, because nothing else in his life is. The constant worrying of if she’d ever tell, if she’s alive or not, blah blah blah unsettles him just like he deserves it to. We don’t get an answer to if Lucy Gray came back (probably not though), we don’t even get an answer if she’s alive.

In conclusion, the end of BOSAS was very fitting, and though unpredictable and fast, it was right.

[apnourry]

sex work is WORK, y'all.

I just saw a video of a male porn actor responding to someone basically saying there must be some level of insecurity with his partners because of his job. He went on to bring up aspects like the fact that there is marketing involved and more people around and added pressure. I'll add that there is definitely performance evaluation and expectation along with prep and a lot of other things. But for some reason sw opens you up to a lot of people treating your work as something you do just for fun and expect a relationship type dynamic and that's just not how it works. Sex workers can work together and not like each other, or they can get along and then just be normal once the work is done. A sex worker can like you as a person and a client, but their work is still work and it's still valuable. It's also insulting to them to act like work is an excuse to just be disloyal to a partner. Stop trying to find excuses to devalue work and workers to make yourself feel justified in wanting to consume things without feeling bad about it. You want the content. You don't ask if people sell content without interest. You don't want to be caught paying or you're broke or you're a liar. Could be a combination. If you think someone is beneath you, you get to act like it's nothing. Especially if you get caught. Who do you blame and badmouth? The person whose content you sought out. If you don't like the work that someone does, don't seek it out. Heal your own insecurity. Learn to mind your business. It's that easy. But if you couldn't do the work yourself (and there's a lot more to it than you think) then maybe learn to knit or read a book instead of speaking on things you really do not understand.

[bonefall]

This is kinda a funny comment but @ Brambleclaw telling Hollypaw how smart she is, i remember reading an article about how corporate spies (YES THIS IS RELATED) got information. The article was mostly one person's retelling about how it was entirely though phone calls where they just ask for information, and whenever the person on the other side started questioning them for why they needed the information, they were told to switch to praising the person on the other side for sticking to the rules and 'authenticating/checking' everything. That they'd 'put in a good word for how dedicated they were', basically buttering them up and making them feel good about catching what they were doing specifically to nudge them away from actually catching on.

I find it WILDLY interesting how the Erins just ACCIDENTALLY put actual manipulation tactics in their books when trying to make a male figure seem like a good person, almost like they're writing from experience in some kind of elaborate essay to themselves about how that behavior is okay and justifiable. They write in another character, Crowfeather, who abuses in a different, more noticable way just to compare and go "At least it's not this bad!" (the scene where Crowfeather chews out Breezepaw and one of them goes 'id rather Brambleclaw any day of the week!'), and then have Ashfur butter up Brambleclaw so that him excusing Ashfur's abuse can be claimed as Ashfur manipulating him.

ANYWAYS a question so you can properly add to the ask: How DOES the Ashfur buttering up Brambleclaw thing go down? Does Ashfur even NEED to butter him up? I think it'd be a little interesting if Hollypaw telling Brambleclaw was the first time he's actually heard of it happening, but he either confronts Ashfur and THEN gets buttered up, or he heards, thinks about it, and goes "nah its good actually I'd do the same".

There's actually a name for the tactic Ashfur uses that you saw in that spy article. It's called Ingratiation.

It's the act of making someone have a higher opinion of you, therefore putting more trust in you, by simply getting them to like you. Flattery, posing yourself as an in-group, and even using humor can all be part of ingratiation.

Now-- Ingratiation isn't ALWAYS nefarious. It's normal to try and make a good impression, or want to be liked by a possible friend or coworker. We try to influence other people all the time, we're social animals. It's just good to know that it CAN be used maliciously.

So I'm not too surprised to see a manipulation tactic in the book. I was using "buttering up" exactly because most people know WHAT it is, and that it IS a way to get people to do stuff, but don't connect that to its academic name. Like you said though what's so BIZARRE about it is how they really DO sometimes seem to be writing this looooong essay to themselves about how that was all Fine, Actually.

ESPECIALLY the way Bramble and Crow were contrasted in the Dog Scolding Scene. I left most of Bramble out because I was trying to focus on proving that Breeze was abused, but Nonny... the way the Three get chewed the fuck out by Bramble, as he insults them, assures Crow he won't be stopping for their exhausted sakes, and doesn't indicate that his anger is coming from concern...

It massively reminded me of when one neglected kid sees another kid get abused too. "Oh, well, what I'm going through isn't so bad, because it's not like THAT."

THEYRE SO CLOSE. ALL THE TIME. Like an INCH away from the point and it's AGONIZING.

Anyway... in BB, Bramble's enabling of Lionpaw's abuse is a WATERSHED moment for a bunch of the character arcs, especially Hollypaw.

I plan to keep it very similar to canon actually, I think it's stainless steel the way it is.

Ashfur KNOWS what he is doing.

He wasn't rolling for a save. It was calculated. Brambleclaw is someone who could have stopped his abuse, so he sought him out.

Can you see how inescapable that makes it, for Holly and Lion?

Holly finally worked up the courage to say something and stand up for her brother, only for her father to coo like she's a kitten who doesn't understand the world.

Even Lionpaw's father believes it's good and right to BLEED for your Clan. That this is normal... that this is even what love can look like.

BB!Lionblaze is the adopted father of his bio-nespring, Ivypool and Dovewing. What he internalizes here as a child is going to hurt BOTH of his daughters down the road, as he shoves them into the Dark Forest and a Prophecy, respectively.

Even after Brambleclaw disowns him and Lionblaze rejects him in response, adamantly saying he has ONLY a mother, he won't reject this lesson until it's TOO LATE.

And Hollypaw is so damaged by this scene that it's going to be the first domino towards her murderous break in Cruel Season.

"I need you to keep your brothers in line, Hollypaw" is soup stock, and then add obsession with the Code, constant betrayal from the relationships she forges in other Clans, her near-murder at the claws of Ashfur when he finds out the Power of Three + Fire and Tiger prophecies, and the murder of her mentor and grandfather.

And then she finds out her HalfClan brother, a Cleric, angel-punching blasphemous wretch he is, has gotten Poppyfrost pregnant. Just like Leafpool before him.

What else IS "keeping them in line" supposed to be, when he's gone this far? He's had enough chances. She will do what she's meant for. Jayfeather must DIE.

Bramblestar himself is notorious in BB for being incredibly controversial as a leader, taking power in Cruel Season just after Firestar is killed by the Dark Forest assassins.

This is part of his personality. He is easily blinded by his own feelings, and it makes him a good target for manipulation.

His first deputy, Thornclaw, exploits many of the same weaknesses Ashfur did. All part of the Dark Forest's plan.

And even Ashfur. Up in StarClan, he continues to plot, eventually leading to the events of TBC and his time as the Impostor.

[bruhduck]

Why are all Slytherins "evil"?

I was re-reading Harry Potter in the last period. Awesome experience, as always. I mean, HP is literally my favourite book series: it helped me to grow up and find my own identity, it made me feel less alone, it taught me how to dream and it introduced me to the world of fandoms in the internet.

Despite many problems of the series (narrative and ideological), I love Harry Potter with all my heart and I will never stop to recommend it to young readers.

But, you know, there's always something that really, really bothers me with Harry Potter. Well, yes, we could discuss about the problematic aparth- uhm, separation between Wizards and Muggles, or about the fact that Elves slavery is pratically... justified (?), and there's no solution for the Elves question in the final book.

But these topics are too much complicated for a random tumblr post, and we are on the internet, I don't want to start a war about politics, etc. :)

No, I want to complain about a certain thing that I really can't understand and it bothers me everytime that I read the books or watch the movies.

WHY ARE ALL SLYTHERINS EVIL? JOANNE, I NEED AN ANSWER, BECAUSE I DON'T UNDERSTAND.

Why they have to be so mean everytime? Being ambitious and shrewd doesn't mean "bad person".

Also, why are they all racist? And why it seems that all of them are sons or daughters of Death Eaters, or in any case their parents share Voldemort's ideology?

Are you saying that ALL SLYTHERINS are pureblood and racist? ALL OF THEM came from a family of Death Eaters? So there are not cunning, ambitious and shrewd people between halfbloods, Muggle-Borns and healthy pureblood families. That's weird.

Oh, yes, and in the first book Slytherins are described as all ugly. Literally.

So, yes, Slytherins are evil and ALSO ugly. Again... why?

Yes, there are some exceptions.

The first one is Severus Snape: now, I love Snape, he's such an interesting character and I feel sorry for his past; the scene in which he gets bullied is so hurting to me (I was bullied myself so I can understand the anger and that feeling of weakness), but... he was not a good person. He has been dominated by hate for his entire life and he never overcomed his past. He was a Death Eater for a period. He bullied Harry, Hermione and Neville for no reason. And sometimes he was so cruel that I think his behaviour is a part of the "All Slytherins are evil" mentality.

Like, Snape has deceived the Dark Lord for years, he is a genius in Potions, DADA and Occlumancy, he's supposed to be one of the smartest characters in the series. So... why has he never understand that Harry is not like James?

"Because he was blinded by hate", you can say.

Ok, but when he saw Harry's memories in the fifth book, why didn't he change his mind?

"He had to act cold because he was pretending to be still loyal to Voldemort."

OK, but there's a difference between being cold to someone and being openly cruel. Snape's behaviours are often illogical and contradictory with the idea of his character, and I can only think that the author depicted him in that way not only to write a "grey character", but also to be loyal to the tradition of "Slytherins are evil".

Next? Oh, Regulus Arcturus Black, one of my favourites. Yes, he was a Slytherin, he was a hero who betrayed the Dark Lord for the sake of Wizarding World. However, his character still has many negative traits: he was a Death Eater, and he shared the racist ideology of his family for years. Again, not bad, but not a good example.

Narcissa Black. She saved Harry, but she is still a racist woman who is married to a Death Eater, and she failed complitely to educate her son.

Her sister, Andromeda Black. Yes, she is the only example of "good Slyhterins" who is not racist or who has not connections with Death Eaters. So, yes, she is good, but there's another problem in this case: she appears once in the whole series, she is barely a character!

Horace Slughorn, my love, he is good, yes. BUT the main trait of his character is negative: he loves to collect the best students like they were trophies.

Draco Malfoy. He is a useless bully for five books, then he changes but even when his character became deeper and more interesting he remains a coward.

Sorry Draco's fans: I like Draco too, but it's true.

I often see people talk about "Draco's redemption", but honestly I don't see this redeption. Simply he becomes a decent person, but he don't go through an actual process of change. He is mean, but he has never wanted to kill, he has never wanted war, so he tries to not get in the way of Harry and his allies, that's it. This is not a redeption, this is an awareness.

There are also Albus Severus, Scorpius and Leta, but they are not characters from the original series, and they were created AFTER all the criticism about the fact that all Slytherins are depicted as bad, so I won't consider them.

It's a shame, you know? Because one of the most important themes in HP is supposed to be INCLUSION. So, why, WHY, nobody, even the "good characters", try to understand or socialize with Slytherins?

Why, in the SIXTH BOOK, I have to read about Harry and Neville who don't greet their Slytherin schoolmates because "Gryffindors and Slytherins don't talk, that's it." Yes, Harry says that.

This is the reason why I love those fanfiction in which we can see Harry and other characters interact with Slytherins. Because this is what I want to see at Hogwarts: inclusion, no prejudice, brotherhood between the four Houses.

I don't know why, but nowdays I still see some "fans" of HP criticize or have prejudice about Slytherin house and I'm like: "After all this time?"

Don't answer "Always" this time, Slytherism (?) has to finish, once and for all.

So... Yes, peace and love between the Houses, thay are all great in their own way!

[I also hope that my English was comprehensible, I'm not that good, but I'm trying my best.]

[lakesbian]

so i blinked & accidentally wrote 2.4k words of alec analysis, content warning for extended discussion of child sexual abuse

i am actually like. genuinely surprised by how common of an alec opinion it is that people would probably feel more negatively about him if we had a chapter from the perspective of one of his victims or if we had more details on his life prior to the undersiders, because the idea goes directly counter to one of the core Things you have to get if you want to understand alec: much like taylor, you should take absolutely fucking nothing he says about himself at face value, because--also much like taylor--he is Absolutely Fucking Terrible at understanding himself!

and speaking of taylor, she is also absolutely fucking terrible at understanding alec. nearly all of the commentary we get on alec is from taylor’s point of view, and she’s frankly incredibly ungenerous towards him.

her very first thought about his childhood mentally classifies him as not being one of heartbreaker’s victims, and the pity she’s offering him wears out pretty quickly when he doesn’t speak about the abuse in terms she finds palatable--while she does secondarily recognize that living with heartbreaker impacted him on some level, she regards him primarily as someone who does Bad Things because he’s a Bad Coldhearted Person.

she and alec are fairly similar--they’re both people who have been abused, people who are remarkably desensitized to violence because they’ve been abused, they’re both people who have ended up on the same villain team where they regularly commit terrible acts of violence, and they’re both people who are terminally oblivious to their own emotions while they commit those acts of violence. their actions are both similarly horrifying from an outside viewpoint, but by sectioning alec’s actions off in her mind as being horrifying because he’s ontologically a bad person w/ no interiority or justifiable reasoning for his actions, she doesn’t have to face that her own actions are horrifying regardless of how she justifies them to herself. neat little compartmentalization trick! alec stabbed that guy to death with a fork because he’s a Bad Person, but when she used triumph as a bargaining chip by filling his lungs with bugs, it was for Understandable and Interiority-Having reasons, so she’s fine.

what this means is that nearly all of the commentary we get on alec is from the perspective of someone who has a very strong psychological incentive to avoid being fair to alec.

much of what taylor thinks about alec is blatantly irrational and wrong, and the fact that he (similarly emotionally oblivious wrt himself + probably entirely unaware she feels this way about him) never directly confronts her misconceptions means that we spend the entire book being told “hey, here are the reasons you should think alec sucks” without any alternate viewpoints to consider. i think that if we saw the worst things pre-undersiders alec did without the repressed way undersider alec describes them or taylor’s biased perspective obscuring what actually happened, most people would feel Really Fucking Bad for him!

even in the very first discussion of his childhood, it’s clear that taylor’s reading of the events is wrong--aside from the fact that she’s not classifying the kids as victims (girl what), there’s these lines from alec:

“[He] pushed my limits, made me do stuff that was dangerous, stuff that was hard on my conscience.”

“I had convinced myself I didn’t care about the people I was hurting or about this guy I’d just killed, and maybe I didn’t. Maybe I don’t, still. Dunno.“

taylor’s response to this is:

“He’d been made to do it, he’d been in fucked up circumstances with no real moral compass to go by, still a kid. The way he described it, though, it didn’t sit well with me. Cold blooded murder.“

that is not how he described it. 

1. he outright says that what he was forced to do was “hard on his conscience”

2. he outright says that he “had convinced himself he didn’t care about the people he was hurting,” i.e he was a 10-13yo child being forced into extreme violence by his ridiculously abusive father & he naturally repressed his emotional reaction to it because there’s no other way to feasibly psychologically cope with feeling the full brunt of the emotions that induces. he’s not a Cold Blooded Bitch, he was a kid desperately convincing himself he didn’t care because he couldn’t care if he was going to survive.

3. yeah, he says “maybe i don’t [care], dunno.” this is because the 3+ years he spent learning to cram every emotional response he had to his abuse into a box & then solder-iron that box shut do not magically disappear the second he escapes from his father. it’s not at all unreasonable that taylor (also 15 and horribly emotionally repressed) misses this, but the “maybe” and “dunno” are indicators that he genuinely can’t tell whether or not he cares! as imp points out after he dies, it’s not that his emotions aren’t there at all, it’s that he has no ability to read them--much like taylor, he’s great at convincing himself of things regarding his feelings and then genuinely believing those things. he’s fifteen and has been out of his abusive home for all of 2.5 years--he’s not capable of grasping the full impacts that the abuse had on his psyche, and the way he describes everything from a detached perspective and waffles about on allowing himself interiority is a natural result of that.

if we saw this or any of the other murders alec was forced to commit as they were happening, we would not be feeling less generous towards him, we would be thinking “i want to beat heartbreaker to death with his own bones, because this is an evil thing to do to a child.”

okay, that’s the murder out of the way. now onto the significantly more controversial aspect of what alec did as a 10-13yo.

taylor generally regards alec as a special type of ontologically real & distinct class of person called a rapist. many people in the fandom share her viewpoint on that one. and, like, objectively true--he is a rapist, he raped people. but applying “rapist” as a descriptor meaning “evil piece of shit who sucks, but i guess he gets some leeway since he was a kid, but he still sucks and is bad and probably a sociopath” is massively flattening the circumstances under which he committed sexual violence & severely underestimating how it impacted his psyche.

taylor--and again, most other people in the fandom--tend to unilaterally go “gross and fucked up, he sucks, moving on” during bits where alec discusses that aspect of his childhood. but if we actually pause to read between the lines for the details and then address the actual context (which alec is not capable of doing, because 1. emotional repression to hell and back and 2. it was, as he said, normal to him), it becomes very clear that it’s unjustifiable to slap the “Sucks + Evil Predator” label on him and then move on feeling comforted by the straightforward moral judgement.

“’Sure,’ Alec drawled. In a more normal voice, he said, ‘But what I’m saying is he wouldn’t mind. Now, it’s been a little while, but there was a time when I had someone in my bed every night.’

‘When you were with Heartbreaker,’ I said. From the look of disgust on Aisha’s face, and what I imagined was a similar expression on my own, I suspected we were on the same page. At least on this one thing.

‘Sure. Cape groupies, my dad’s girls, people I used my powers on toward the end.’

There wasn’t even a trace of guilt or shame on his expression, no regret in his tone. He just looked bored.

He went on, ‘What I’m saying is that I’m speaking from experience.  Having someone cuddled up beside you, even if it’s a little bit of a pain in the ass, having that body contact isn’t so bad. Especially when you’ve had a bad day.’”

like, okay. let’s unpack all the implications there.

1. alec is bringing up this whole topic as an attempt at empathy--aisha is effectively saying “i’m pissy at taylor for being intimate w/ brian while he’s experiencing the worst pain of his life” and alec is effectively responding with “i support them, because when i was in similar circumstances, physical intimacy made me feel better.” it is extremely notable that he’s implicitly comparing brian’s “bad day” (getting fucking bonesawed!) to his own “bad day” (living with his dad)!

2. alec grew up in Emotional Neglect & Abuse: The Household. this is established in buzz 7.1--he recounts that there was zero attention paid to him & the other kids except for when heartbreaker was terrifying the shit out of them for either a perceived slight or in an attempt to force a trigger event. he also grew up in Sexual Abuse: The Household. as detailed in one WoG, the heartbroken were a massive group hiding out in significantly less massive houses--6-8 people sharing a room was common. alec was constantly in close quarters to normalized sexual abuse from the ages of zero to thirteen, e.g the memory mentioned in his interlude where he starts crying over not being given the TV remote and a sweaty, wearing-nothing-but-briefs heartbreaker stomps out of the bedroom to terrify alec for interrupting what was, very presumably, a marathon of sexual assault. exposing children to abuse happening in their environment is a form of abuse itself. there’s also the WoG in which this is mentioned:

“Look at it this way - at the age that many boys are raising an eyebrow at boobs, family members were saying 'hey, here are all the boobs you could want...’ Interested in dick? ... Dad's not that into it but a sister can hook you up. At an age when many are just figuring out enough of the world to ask 'what's heroin?' or 'what's weed?' he was given heroin and weed and everything else that was theoretically obtainable and told to only indulge if it was someone else's body. At an age when many are saying 'sex must be awesome' he was given free reign.”

which is sexual abuse! it is in fact exceedingly sexually abusive for alec’s father & older siblings to go “hey, 10-13yo son/little brother, i notice you are Hitting Puberty! here’s a fucking tidal wave of sex and drugs, have at it.” he didn’t magically get the idea to commit acts of physical violence w/o grooming & coercion from his family, and the same goes for the sexual violence. it’s not a hard extrapolation to make that after 10 years of isolation and abuse he leaps on the chance for physical intimacy, for something that actually makes him feel good when good is a feeling he’s never really gotten to have before--and how would he have a frame of reference for this being bad when his childhood was one long march of his own autonomy being violated + constantly seeing other peoples autonomy violated?

alec did not leave the house as a kid. alec Wasn’t Even Thirteen. the people he assaulted were victims, but he’s inarguably not the person with primary culpability for the assault--that would be the family members significantly older than alec who directly groomed him into hypersexual behavior, kidnapped + brainwashed victims also significantly older than alec, shoved them at alec, and said “have at it, buddy.” (which he, considering it to be normal and desperate for any positive attention or emotion, immediately adopted as a coping mechanism.) it would be absurd not to regard alec as a victim in this circumstance as well, and the fact that the way he was victimized led to him hurting people doesn’t change that. he was a chronically abused and manipulated preteen--he couldn’t issue meaningful consent or exercise any real autonomy in his decision-making. his lack of emotional reaction to casually sharing the story isn’t a moral failure, it’s an indicator of how badly the abuse skewed his perception of what’s normal.

and despite All Of That, taylor’s immediate reaction is to judge his lack of guilt, shame, or regret. which isn’t a wholly irrational reaction from her by any means--it makes complete sense given who she is and what information she has. but it does mean that the judgement we’re given on alec in this moment is nearly entirely detached from the material reality of what happened & how that reality should reasonably be regarded.

3. i think i’m literally the only person i’ve ever seen point this out--the first category of person he lists off as having slept with is “cape groupies.” as in, fans of capes. 

what kind of person do we suppose would be a fan of heartbreaker’s cult? what kind of person would have a thing for heartbreaker’s sexual abuse and mind control cult? the fact that he specifically mentions “cape groupies” means these were people who liked the heartbroken and were picked up by it voluntarily--what kind of person would want to sleep with one of heartbreaker’s barely-pubescent superpowered children?

yeah, that one sounds less like alec committing rape and more like heartbreaker providing access to his children to pedophiles w/ a Thing for the powers involved, presumably because it was a fantastic honeypot for people he could drain for money or otherwise use as a resource (which was his primary method of staying undercover & getting by). which alec parses as normal enough to casually slip into a random sentence.

alec’s childhood was not a lengthy tour of him committing sexual violence because he sucked, it was him being sexually abused, and a portion of that abuse included him being groomed to perpetuate it onto others. because that’s one of the Core Things about his character: he was a victim of grooming to perpetuate a cycle of abuse, he ran away from it at an impressively young age, and he spent the rest of his life making stumbling attempts to jerry-rig a distinct system of ethics & decision-making so that he wouldn’t be like his father.

no, the abuse he experienced & the way he responded to it wasn’t straight-forward or palatable. he’s not a stereotypical or idealized Good Victim--none of the traumatized teens in worm are. the specifics of what happened to him & what he did as a result are uncomfortable. he participated in hurting other people very badly. he still doesn’t really understand everything that was wrong with what happened. he doesn’t open himself up for pity or add caveats when discussing it to make it clear that he’s viewing his childhood the Right Way. he doesn’t feel or talk about it the way he’s “supposed” to. he doesn’t understand why or care that it upsets and disgusts people. the abuse left him with low to no empathy, and he’s not ashamed about admitting that.

and absolutely none of that changes that he’s still undeniably a victim, and if we saw any of the things that happened to him from the perspective of anyone involved, if we saw the abuse he experienced without the normalized lens he views it through or the villainizing lens taylor views it through--everyone would probably feel really fucking bad for him.

or in other words: alec vasil is a little boy whose life fucking sucks, and we all have to be nice to him, okay?

[snapesshylittlebadger]

Welcome to my side blog!~

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๋࣭ ⭑⚝ Info ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

๋࣭ ⭑ It was December 2003 when I watched the first Harry Potter film. I fell in love with the film! I saw the 2nd movie when it came out at the time but for the rest I didn't watch until 2020. (Yes I know, WAY LATE.) As for the books I've never read until now which I am slow at but I am reading the books.

๋࣭ ⭑⚝ Why the love for Snape? ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

๋࣭ ⭑ First and foremost, I am a huge fan of Alan Rickman. He has captured my heart with his exceptional acting skills and down-to-earth personality. He knows just how to bring a character to life and add that extra spark of excitement! ๋࣭ ⭑ One of the other reasons I am drawn to Snape as a character is his unique appearance. Tall and dark, with an aquiline nose and long black hair, he is like a piece of eye candy for me. There's something captivating about men who dress in all black, especially if it's in vintage styles that are more modest. Maybe it's just my quirky Aquarius side, but I find what others may consider unusual and strange to be fascinating and uniquely attractive.  ๋࣭ ⭑ But on a deeper note…I love Snape because I can relate to the bullying he went through while at Hogwarts and I had a friend in 5th grade who was bullied and outcasted like him. Like jayrickman on TikTok put it… “If you asked me what I think about the Marauders, I would say…That like every other character they had their flaws and strengths and that I quite like Remus! But if you asked me on a deeper level…I would say they were horrible people (except for Remus), that came from wealthy influential families and bullied people until a point of attempted murder and S.A. Nothing can ever justify that and I’m wholeheartedly convinced that, if Severus was not excluded by literally everyone BUT Slytherins, he would’ve turned out to be a completely different person. People crave companionship. Milieu forms people.The Slytherins passively and actively brainwashed him to think of his hatred towards his abusive muggle father as hatred towards all muggles. He was abused at home and thought Hogwarts would be his safe place, only to then be bullied there too. Marauders fans have managed to spin their little fanfictions in such a way that they actually made the victim the villain. Snape becoming a bully is such a CLASSIC case of the abused becoming the abuser yet Marauders fans will still say that he deserved to be S.A. I sincerely wish I was privileged enough to say things like ‘sometimes bullying is okay’ because it is more than apparent that no Marauders stan has ever felt what it’s like to have absolutely no one and cling on to whatever lifeline you have. It was always Tobias’ and the Marauders fault that he turned out the way he did.” 

๋࣭ ⭑ I am someone who faced bullying since Elementary because of being of mixed race and the things I like, being S.A during my 10th and 11th grade school years and people saw and did nothing as well as the staff and then having a good majority of my so-called ‘friends’ tell me ‘it was my fault’ and ditched me when I needed them most. I feel a kinship to Snape through that trauma, unfortunately.

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๋࣭ ⭑⚝What will we see on this blog? ๋࣭ ⭑⚝

๋࣭ ⭑ Well, you should be seeing things related to the Potion Master, my character Sandrine Everhart and anything and everything H.P related. ๋࣭ ⭑ On top of that I will be sharing commissions of Snape and Everhart on here too.