#i saw her petting goats (her favorite animal as she used to take care of them with her grandma as a child)
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having a bad memory is what it is but it's scary when your memories of people you were close to are far less clear than they used to be
#it's been only almost 2 years since i last saw her but i just had a moment of. i cant remember my mom.#i mean i can but. i was looking at her ig (i have an old account i dont use where i still follow her) and i cant just#think up any memories of her#i saw a picture of her smiling and realized i had forgotten what that looks like#i saw her petting goats (her favorite animal as she used to take care of them with her grandma as a child)#and i realized seeing goats doesnt make me think of her as my first thought#well thats a bit different but yknow#i cant remember the details of anyones face but shes my mom. i saw her almost every day for a long time.#its hard for me to imagine her voice#i know if i met her it would all be familiar and a lot of memories would come back but right now everything is so vague#i think its like. an adhd person object permanence thing mixed with something else#anyways its kinda scary#also im. having a kind of a hard time with my mom stuff as christmas gets closer. i miss her.#she wasnt a perfect mom but we were super close and we still would be if i had just stayed a girl#i shouldnt say that its not my fault. we would still be close if she wasnt so transphobic.#and yea shes kind of an unpleasant person but she was a good mom and did so much more than anyone would have dared to hope and#i had a very good childhood where i felt loved#wheres that post about someones adult dad being like you never grow out of needing your mom#idk i. i miss her.#i was watching tv today and there was this woman having a chat with her kids and it was such a pleasant normal conversation and#she listened to them in a specific way like. one of the kids was scared of taking the bus somewhere by themself bc they didnt know when to#leave it and the other was like ''well i did that on a train'' and the mom was like ''yeah but just because i have done something doesnt#mean its the same for others'' or something like thag which. yeah! normal but also oh my fucking god#some people are like. good parents on a different level. you KNOW theyre going to raise well adjusted kids#anyways#despite me feeling like that and acomplaining about my mom a lot i dont think i hate her#i have very mixed feelings#and its okay to feel so but i feel bad complaininh sometimes bc i dont want people to think it was all bad#nd my mom doess deserve credit on some aspects of my childhood. like i had such bad adhd (undiagnosed) but she managed it so fucking well#leevi talks
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hello! i have questions for you i’m wondering about! you can answer them if your comfortable ^.^
what are your pronouns?
do you have a favorite drink?
pet peeves?
do you have any talents?
what song is on repeat now?
what got you into jjk?
are you in a relationship?
any allergies?
favorite color?
HELLO ! I LOVE QUESTIONS !!! (I’m very excitedly typing)
Pronouns - she/they! Lately one of my profs has been referring to me as “she” and … well … it doesn’t feel quite right, but for me personally I don’t care that much if people use she/her towards me. Sometimes I refer to myself as she and it’s totally good in the moment. Sometimes I don’t feel like a she. So she/they works!
Favorite Drink - I only really like water with my meals, or possibly green tea. I love sipping on sugary drinks when I crave that (i take very tiny sips and the drink lasts forever), but never ever do I drink anything like that with meals. I will also drink black tea with coffee creamer when I’m feeling like I need dopamine HAH. Drinking coffee or matcha unfortunately makes my body and brain feel wonky. I can’t focus and it’s like I’m in a state of numbing anxiety. Don’t like it. But l still, on occasion, will drink either.
Pet peeves - Mean people when existing near me. Narrow minded & judgmental people when existing near me. People who walk NEAR ME when they could walk further away, (I think I have a personal space need). People who reject others without engaging in discussion and critical thinking (a lesson for us all). When somebody isn’t emotionally intelligent and doesn’t try to be better. When somebody can’t break things down and explain a concept *and they’re a teacher* for fucks sake. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of kids and adolescents. When people don’t care about the wellbeing of another human regardless of age.
Talents - Yes, but the one I’m thinking about shall stay a secret because it’s not a very common skill and I don’t wanna give too much away. Other talents I can talk about… Well, many liberal arts teachers/professionals who meet me and get to know me more, say that I’d be a good psychologist. Oh. A talent I’ve had since I was little: understanding cats. HAHHA. (I was that weird kid who was lost in her own head when she was little, and I hissed at people)
Fav song atm - Strangely enough no song has been on repeat lately! That is unusual though. Try asking again another time, I’ll have an answer for ya
What Got Me Into JJK - Honestly, the hype around JJK is what led me to it AND kept me sticking around. I was seeking something to cure my depression (anime won’t do that, but it can certainly help but you also have to get consistent sunlight, socialization, feed your mind, body, soul, too), and I kept hearing about Jujutsu Kaisen. So I thought WOW this must be a really good one! The thing is that for me, with most anime it takes time for me to feel hyped about it… even with AOT, and AOT is goated… So for JJK, while I laughed A LOT in season 1, I also just felt underwhelmed. I did stick around though, because the fandom kept showing up on my timeline, and it was nice to feel like I was a part of something (seeing everybody simp over characters made me wonder what there was to this show that I was possibly missing out on), because at the time I really wasn’t doing well. It’s embarrassing to admit but it wasn’t until I started talking about it and listening to other people talk when I started seeing the nuance to JJK, and I began to appreciate it. (Don’t watch anime while half asleep and expect to walk away with an understanding of what’s going on…) I also really wanted to understand what others saw in JJK for them to hype it up so much.
Relationship? - No. Do I want romance? Yeah. Will I let myself be in a relationship anytime soon? Highly unlikely. I’ve got a lot of healing & growing to do before I can be a good partner.
allergies? - hurtful people who do stupid things and have zero interest in anyone but themselves (not to say I don’t pity them or have sympathy and empathy for them. I do. But I’m also allergic to them). Oddly enough, I was genuinely allergic to a certain leafy green as a kid. Outgrew that though! thank god haha
Favorite colour - I can’t choose! They each have their own beautiful feel to them. If I had to choose, I’d say green :) with yellow undertones, not blue undertones, though that’s also very pretty (if you’re an artist or take a basic art class with colour involved, ykwim).
Any more questions? Feel free to ask! Loved answering this :) Thank you so much for hopping into my inbox 🩷
#asks#about me#received!#strawberry answers#curious anons#thank u for asking!!#m talks#m answers#about m#mental health#journaling#journal
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to the whole cast (if thats ok) what are your guys' favorite animals and why?
The gang lounges in the Ipomoea living room. Jackie and Theo sit beside each other on the couch while TV and Antigone have taken up opposite armchairs. Dakota is perched atop the arm rest of Antigone's seat. Jackie leans forward eagerly.
Jackie: "Oh, that's easy. Wolves."
How come?
Jackie: "They're just the ultimate predator. They have all the evolutionary equipment to be killers and at the same time they're smart enough to hunt in packs and have a hierarchy and everything. It's badass! I'd pet one if I got the chance."
Theo: "You would be mauled."
Jackie shrugs.
Jackie: "You don't know that."
Theo shakes their head in disbelief.
Theo: "I'm fairly certain that--"
TV: "Anyway! My favorite animal is a deer. They're such gentle creatures. I went hiking with everyone last weekend and saw a doe and her fawn. They were so precious."
Is that the only reason?
TV: "I mean, I feel drawn to them. I think. I'm not sure why. Probably because they're cute?"
A crooked smile crosses Jackie's face.
Jackie: "TV, have you seen a movie called Bambi?"
Antigone: "Shut up, Romero."
TV: "I know it's a Disney movie. Is it any good?"
Jackie: "Yes!"
Antigone: "No."
Jackie just laughs and leans back in their chair while TV looks confused.
Theo?
Theo: "I like wyverns. When I was in my twenties, I had the opportunity to see the British Wyvern Races in person. It was a sight to behold, for sure."
The BWR one of the largest betting events in Britain. Did you make any wagers?
Theo scoffs, insulted.
Theo: "I'd never make an agreement so foolish. The trick to the matter is to wait until someone else's recklessness outweighs their luck. Then I offer them a deal. That is my trade."
TV: "How ominous."
Theo just hums dismissively.
Dakota?
Dakota's eyes light up.
Dakota: "Obviously my--"
Antigone cuts him off.
Antigone: "Charmander is not an animal."
Dakota huffs indignantly.
Dakota: "If you knew me, you'd know I was going to say charizard, but fine. Um, a little after I started monster hunting, once I got really good, I took this job dealing with this town's disappearing cattle. Turns out there was a freakin' chimera living in a cave nearby. I ended up having to fight it and turns out the thing won't die unless you kill all the heads. I wish I knew that going in, but whatever. Anyway, those things are awesome-looking and are great opponents."
Antigone wrinkles her nose.
Antigone: "Is that what you took from that encounter?"
She looks toward the interviewer.
Antigone: "He got overconfident and got himself bit. Luckily, he only broke his arm because it was the goat's head that got him. If it were either of the other two, he'd be dead."
Jackie: "Out of the two other dangerous animals to get bit by, the goat's the one that got him?"
Dakota: "I was worried about the massive lion paws! Excuse me for putting the goat at the bottom of my priority list!"
Jackie: "I could take out a chimera without getting bit. I'm built different."
Dakota: "Oh yeah? Theo, could one of your weird contacts track down a chimera for us to fight?"
Theo already has their phone out.
Theo: "I can have a location in ten minutes."
Oh lord. What about you, Antigone?
The witch and TV share a grimace before the former refocuses on the topic at hand.
Antigone: "Dogs. I like dogs."
Care to elaborate?
Antigone: "No."
Jackie: "I know where that is!"
The three of them, TV not included, are hunched over Theo's phone looking at what seems like a map.
Dakota: "I'll drive!"
Dakota and Jackie trip over each other on their way out the door, Theo strolling leisurely behind them. TV gives the interviewer an embarrassed smile.
TV: "We'd better go after them."
Antigone: "Do we, though?"
TV: "Please, Annie?"
Antigone: "Fine."
The final two follow after the rest of their group. There are hurried footsteps back to the door, where Jackie pokes their head back in.
Jackie: "By the way, my brother's favorite animal is a phoenix. He's big into the concept of rebirth and all that crap blah blah blah okay I'm leaving bye!"
The door slams shut behind them.
#interactive fiction#trouvaille game#trouvaille#if#ch:trouvaille#aya being dramatic#ch:jackie#ch:theo#ch:jace#ch: dakota#ch:antigone#ask my muse
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Pink Chains pt Five
Punk! Kyotani x Bubbly F! reader. Aka my favorite cliche trope. It lives in my head every second of the day.
Kyotani owns a grunge /punk apparel shop after leaving the Sendai Frogs after a incident with the Black Jackals. He designs his own clothes and hires Oikawa & Iwaizumi as his employees. Everything goes smoothly for awhile, till you walk in; pink dress, big smile , and bubbly personality. His whole life stops in that moment.
W! Brief Violence
Before you and Kyo could go to the zoo he had to drive everyone back to the beach so they could drive home. Yahaba was hiding in the back seat by the window , still red in the face. Oikawa was next to him and constantly teasing Yahaba over you , Iwaizumi was on the right by the window in the back, Mattsun was in the passenger seat and Kyotani was driving,,, with you on his lap.
“Its fine” he told you. I mean hes not gonna let one of his friends hold you so .. And besides, this was funner. You held onto his neck giggling while you peppered kisses on his neck the whole way to the beach. Mattsun was the last to leave Kyotanis car, he wanted to check on his red panda tattoo on you and you happily showed him it. The red was finally all healed up and the whole tattoo looked very nice to him. He pat your head and said goodbye to his friend as he exited the car closing the door. Kyotani took off and plugged the directions into his cars touch screen.
“Kyo? Should I move to the seat?” you asked him, wiggling on his lap as he drove.
“Your fine right here on me sweetie.” he told you, nuzzling his cheek into yours.
So you sat there the whole time, giggling each time someone did a double take as they passed. You told Kyo about your day and what the girls said to you too. It still pissed him off but it was taken care of now.
“Kyo?” you were rubbing at his chest.
“Hm?”
“Are you okay after this morning?”
He thought on it for a few minutes, the only sound was the music coming from his car. He groaned heavily and placed a hand on your thigh pulling you closer to him. “Yeah, im okay sweetie”
“Promise?”
“Promise” he gave you a gentle kiss as he pulled into the zoo's parking area.”before we go in i have to tell you one thing though”
“What is it?” you were about to open the door but he had stopped you, causing you to get all pouty and puffy in the face with him. Kyotani smiled and kissed your cheek laughing lightly.
“So i know one of the employees and i need to see if hes working today”
“Okay!!” you opened the door wiggling off Kyos lap getting out and Kyo was quick to follow you and pull you back to him locking his arms around your hips as he hip bumped his car door shut.
“Kyo!!!!!”
“Hm?” he kissed along your neck holding your wiggling body with a smile on his face.
“The pandas!!” you whined with a big smile on your face til you felt his fingers start to move over your tummy .” KYO!! Tickles!!!”
“Okay okay, but please stay close to me okay?”
You whipped around to grab his ring hand squeezing it tight. “You stay close!! Dont want anyone stealing you away”
He laughed walking you up to the entrance to pay and buy a ticket. “Ive already been stolen by the best person sweetie.im not goin anywhere”
*
Miyagi Zoo was a small zoo, basically a big circle with some attractions down separate walk ways that lead to birds, a petting zoo and the gift shop. But it all looped back around to the entrance.
The first animals were the lions; you were so excited but the display glass was occupied by some people and you could not see. Kyo pulled you close while he waited for the people to move, he could see them but that was because he was 5 ‘ 11, he did not want to wait too long since he still had to find his friend and see the rest of the zoo so he moved himself behind you , wrapped his arms around your hips and lifted you up into the air so you could see the lions who were asleep on the rocks enjoying the sun. you had grabbed onto Kyotanis shoulders to steady yourself and people looked back to see you and the look on Kyos face, they quickly moved and he smugly walked closer with you still in the air. The glass was cold against your hands when you touched it to steady yourself to look in. it was two males and three females all asleep enjoying the sun. Kyotani had never seen a lion before so he was equally as excited but seeing that excited grin on your face just made it 10x better. He set you down and you gave him a big kiss on the lips , you also grabbed his hand running off to the next animals.
The second animals were the timber wolves and that was .. an interesting experience; no one was looking at the animals so you and Kyo were free to get right up to the glass to look for them. They appeared to be hiding and you did not want to leave without seeing at least one so Kyo crouched down next to you to look into the enclosure. A pile of leaves was moving up and down and he could see a couple paws sticking out. “Sweetie, down here. ones asleep” he told you. You folded your dress behind you to crouch down next to him and you gasped a little loudly once you saw it. He was asleep, the sign said this enclosure had 6 timber wolves in it but they all must be asleep somewhere.
Kyotani liked wolves, they reminded him of his friends and they were very misunderstood creatures , like him. You leaned into his side placing your hand on his wolf sleeve and Kyo laid his head on yours as you both watched the wolf sleep. The other animals could wait a little longer to be seen.
After a few more minutes Kyo was about to get up with you when a grey wolf came out from under the leaves and right over to the glass. Kyotani expected you to latch on to him and be a little scared but instead he watched you wave and say hello to the wolf. He pulled you to him giving your cheek a kiss, you were perfect.. So so perfect.. The wolf stared at you both for a little while till new people started to come over and dashed off to hide. Kyotani helped you up and you both made your way to the petting zoo holding hands.
The little goats refused to interact with Kyotani.. It was kinda funny. They loved you and loved to eat at your dress while all they did with Kyo was scream at him. People were staring because you were giggling trying to feed the baby sheeps with a brown goat eating your dress and a black goat screaming its head off at Kyotani. A pig came over as well to use Kyo as a rubbing post for an itch and he was not very happy but what the hell, hes lucky hes a cute pig. The screaming was starting to get to him though and you had to get some food for Kyo to get on the goats good side. He held the food out and instantly the goat stopped his screaming to munch on the food. The quiet was a relief for everyone…
The last animals were the red pandas but Kyo was preventing you from getting close to the enclosure, he had his arm hooked around your waist and seemed to be looking around with his phone out.
“Kyo!!!! Im gonna tell Iwaizumi!!!”
“Pft oh yeah Sweetie?” he leaned down to nibble your neck. “Whats Iwaizumi gonna do?”
“Something!!!” you struggled against his grip but you were not getting free. You could see the big tree that was the main part of the exhibit and a bunch of tall glass with smaller trees and climbing toys spread out all around .. just a little.. Closer..!
“Mad Dog ! over here!”
“There he is. Okay sweetie this way” he led you to the side of the exhibit over to an employee who had a big smile on his face . his name tag said Takahiro on it.
Kyotani bumped his shoulder against the man and Taka did the same saying hello to his friend.”this her?” he asked, giving you a big smile.
“Yep, Sweetie this is my friend Takahiro, he was on the team too”
“Nice to meet you!!!” you beamed .
“Aww. shes adorable, you ready ?”
“ready? “ you turned to Kyo and he pulled you with him gently.”but Kyo the pandas…”
“Cmon sweetie.” he locked his arm around yours as Taka led you both past the Employees Only area next to the exhibit.
Taka opened a door and Kyo snuck you in with Taka closing the door behind him. “Okay,” Taka said. “15 minutes max Kyotani”
“Sure sure” he moved you closer to what looked like the inside of the exhibit. “Stand right here” he told you.
You hold his hand tight unsure of what was happening and heard Taka whistle a tune. Soon enough you realized and got the biggest smile on your face.
Four little red pandas ran over flopping all over each other and right into your legs to rub on them . “KYO!!!” you instantly crouched down to pet them and give each one a hug, you were also a crying mess.
Kyotani nudged his friend after snapping a picture of you with the pandas. “Thanks Takahiro”
“Mmm sure, i dont just let anyone back here ya know”
“Yeah yeah, trust me i appreciate it “ he looked over to see you holding a red panda and trying to pet each one at the same time.
“Hows the store? The guys?”
“All good, i made up with Yahaba too.”
“Really? Thats great Mad Dog, proud of you. You look like your doing good.”
“Im doing amazing now,” he gestured to you. “Never been better Takahiro”
Taka nudged his friend teasing him over how sappy he was being and you made sure you pet every panda at least 10 times before it was time to leave. You thanked Takahiro and he waved his hand saying it was not a problem.
*
After Taka escorted you both out Kyo took you to the Gift Shop where he bought you a red panda plush and a red panda bag that had a fake tail hanging off it. The gift shop also had a cheetah display that said they save a cheetah with each purchase. He bought 6 of them. It was time to leave after the gift shop and you were just so happy with your day, everything was perfect. Kyotani opening up to you, saving you from the girls at school, the surprise at the zoo. You were falling deeper and deeper for him.
It was a good day for him too, after a rocky morning everything turned out great. Making up with Yahaba helped a lot and he was happy to have his friend back. He took care of those dumb girls that were bothering you and got to take you too the zoo . seeing your smile all day was the icing on the cake for him. Things were going so good with you and he never wanted it to change, he never wanted to mess it up and wanted to hold onto you forever.
When you got to the car you asked Kyo if you could go for ice cream before heading home and he agreed, one was close by so you both could walk to it. It was dark now and Kyo wanted to invite you too sleep at his place tonight. You were almost at the ice cream shop now but something stopped you.
“Kyo? Did you hear that?”
“Rr..”
“It sounded like a kitten?” he said looking around.
“I think over by the bench there, i gotta go see, it might by by itself..”
Kyotani was unsure about letting you go by yourself but he was close enough to the bench if you needed him. “Okay sweetie, come right back please.” he held your hand a little longer before letting go , he watched you hurry off and he leaned on the ice cream shop to wait, browsing his phone.
“Kyotani…?” it was a … familiar voice.
Kyo looked up and his heart nearly stopped.
“Kitty...kitty,,,” you crouched down looking under the bench to see a scared little kitten hiding under it. “Hey there.. Im not gonna hurt you.. Cmere baby” you held your arm out and the kitten sniffed it.
“It is you.” the voice got closer and Kyotani was frozen.”Bastard what was your deal back then huh?”
“...i..” he squeezed his phone trying to come up with words. No , no, this cant be happening now. Stay calm Mad Dog..
“Thats it.. Cmere..” you cooed the kitten out to you and picked it up hugging its shivering body. “There there.. Your safe now, ill take care of you, wait till you meet Kyo, hes a great-”
CRASH
You looked up to see something… something you thought you would never see. Kyotani hit the brick wall hard . he wiped the blood from his chin and grabbed a spikey haired man punching him directly in the jaw.
“Did you hear me?? Fuck was your problem huh?” he stepped closer. Kyotani put his phone away and stepped away trying to focus on this guy and see where you were. “Can we do this another time?” he asked putting his hands up, he was shaking,
“I dont want any trouble” he told him.
“Oh you dont? But giving me a black eye that was swollen shut for two weeks is fine? “ he grabbed Kyotani by the shirt and Kyotani was slammed into the wall.
“Fuck you Kyotani if you thi-” he punched him, right in the jaw. “Get the FUCK off me Bokuto!!!” he grabbed Bokuto by the shirt slamming him to the ground.
“Kyo….?” you were frozen in place and your heart nearly jumped up your throat when you saw him punch Bokuto in the mouth.
**
@galagcica @kozushiki @zopzoop
@haikyuu-but-low-iq @milkbreadcat
@derpeedoo @squeaky-ducky
*
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Chapter 9 and 10 End
Got to go, running late on things. Will do recap later
TL;DR: I’m screaming, parent issues are are abundant as abusive and manipulation, and I have a new ship going on.
Edit: Ok I am back and I have new theories on everything going on because Fuck I’m down the rabbit hole here. Where or where do I fucking begin.
Really this session just hammers down the different type of abuse that poor Lucy is going through. It’s even color coded and everything. Blue being cold, isolation, physical and emotional neglect from Thierry. Vs the Red of warm, attentiive, possessive and emotional manipulation that is Fidelia.
I don’t doubt that Fidelia cares for Lucy. But it obviously is really twisted if like only one day in Fidelia is already trying to run Lucy’s life how she thinks it should be. Honestly Seiji nailed it when he pointed out the outfit change was more for Fidelia’s taste instead of Lucys’s.
And this chapter is nothing more than family secrets revealed to Sylas isn’t it? Like, how far do you have to break the boy he’s already hurt enough. His dad literally hating his eldest and lawful child, hates his mother, 100% willing to have an affair and have more children and being told flat to his face he is nothing but a tool. It hurt to learn he was there just as a ploy for Fidelia to keep Lucy to herself, but I loved how he still cared for his half siblings. He wasn’t angry at Emilia’s existence, but how Fidelia had seemed to cast her to the wolves that is their father. He wanted to learn more about Lucy as a person, as his sibling, and was happy that it sounded like they wanted to connect too. But of course he couldn’t because Fidelia made sure to try and nuke that chance before it could bloom. Leaving them both just as lonely as ever.
Ugh it sucks so much because Lucy left from one form of isolation abuse to another!
And a minor note, Peony is probably another bastard child of Fidelia and Dubois. Her and Emilia are probably twins than Dubois didn’t want to take care of both of them so he found a way to ditch one into the streets. I mean, it’s the fucking nose people! The timeline merges and fit to one complicated mess that wouldn’t have happened if two people didn’t decide to bone down.
God I want to know what January will think of this, hearing that the anomaly they were supposed to hunt down is now Fidelia’s pet favorite. Actually, now that Lucy is here, will Fidelia even care for January as much? Or will she still try since this is her way of manipulating the council.
Rin is apparently living her best life as a wolf monster of not giving a fuck and about to do some dirty backdoor dealings with Fidelia. That is Not going to bode well.
And finally, Seiji. Wow did that Bastard Man manage to change my perception of him. You bastard, how dare you make me like you. Fucking Twerp. But god, he is trying to get it through to Sylas that he should go after someone who Likes Him. Which, puts Sylas first as part of his feelings, but also can be flipped on to himself because if Sylas is straight, then Seiji should go after someone who likes him. And that hurts.
And then when he talked to Lucy, like first time ever talked to Lucy, it was cute. It was dramatic. It felt like a normal conversation where they aren’t putting on airs with each other and just trying to figure shit out. And it was, really cute. He has this fucking “devil-may-care” rogue persona that he defaults to when he feels cornered, hence the kiss to piss people off. But, having that be your first form of romantic interest after being in isolation for 5 years, I can see why Lucy may be smitten.
Of Course....it sucks that Seiji only managed to put 2 and 2 together on Lucy and Cylas AFTER he dipped. But he got there eventually. The disaster bastard man.
I think I have a thing where I can only approve of ships if I see some in-canon connection/plausibility first. And it wasn’t a pair I would see dating. But I honestly hope there could be some feelings that sprout between the two. Some emotional development that doesn’t center around emotional abuse since Seiji knows what’s up with Fidelia and calls her out on that.
And since this post couldn’t possibly get any longer: underneath are my theories and just what is up with Morgan and Thierry.
This is what happens when I get caught up on comics, I have IDEAS.
Let’s start off somewhere simple here: Timeline.
Fidelia and Dubois have affair. Multiple times. And it resulted in Morgan. Something Something happened and they pushed Morgan into hiding so it has no connection to them. I’m also thinking that because of how Morgan has no connection to them, since Fidelia lost touch with her kid, she made sure/blackmail the Dubois to raise their next kid as his own to make sure they are taken care of. Hence Emilia’s life.
Anyway Morgan was sick, went to the care of Joe Rothart and Dr. Malliet, where a sudden Husk attack killed Morgan and Dr. Malliet 5 years ago. Where Thierry took them to be raised as “Lucien” under his care.
Thierry “gave up everything” for the kid, meaning he thought it was in his best interest to take Morgan.
The reason Joe has a soft spot for Husks is probably because Dr. Malliet was his significant other/partner. Tobi asked if they “broke up” so it implies they were dating. See here I was thinking that Morgan was like, Joe’s brother or something, way older at the very least. But Morgan was the sickly kid, the patient, and Malliet was the other Husk Expert trying to help.
Basically what I’m saying is that Thierry and Joe were lovers. Thierry Rothart is really Dr. Thierry Malliet. While trying to help Morgan, he used his own magic to maybe siphoned the illness away or something and ended up turning into a Husk himself. So when he squirreled away with Morgan (Lucy) he took the last name of Rothart as a momento of their past relationship/ what could have been and as a way of hiding himself.
Also, Ivy isn’t his cat.
We fucking saw what happened with Captain Yiff of the Wolf Brigard. She turned into wolf mode like Jade did. However!!! Thierry became the bird man of Alcatraz and sprouted feathers. AND! Husks are people who literally reabsorb their magic familiars back into themselves. Meaning that Thierry can’t have absorbed his Peacock Bird familiar AND have Ivy the CAT be his active familiar.
The only way I can think this was any way possible to have a “have your cake and eat it too” moment is because of Su. Su never had magic to begin with, and how she’s a Goat Husk, implying if she did have access to magic her familiar would be a goat. The same could have happened to Lucy.
It was stated that for a Husk the magic comes from the eyes, and eyes are the windows of the soul. Trying to heal Morgan resulted in draining the magic from their eye and that magic latched itself into Thierry, turning him into a peacock man.
....why he wants to have his house be a shrine of peacocks of what he did instead of his own fucking cat, I will never know.
Regardless, I’m thinking that after Thierry did manage to cure Morgan, since he took their eye (again, part of the soul) it probably resulted in memory loss too. I’m thinking that the eyepatch is just covering a hole or dark powers because if Lucy has like one-eye in husk mode that would be really stupid.
It also better explains Ivy helping out Thierry’s Husk mode. Familiars are conduits of magic that allows the Mages/Magicians to safely use their magic without overloading. That’s why when the magic is reabsorbed into the person the magic is out of control and fluctuates on emotion. The animals are safeguards. So Ivy, as Thierry’s familiar, is able to drain away the magic in his emotional states. But that also backfires because draining away magic that wasn’t necessarily his means it was also draining away his memory, hence his behavior issues with Lucy.
Which can also explain Lucy’s own “magic draining powers” is because they is out of balance. They aren’t like non-magic people where they aren’t able to access their magic. They aren’t like regular magicians where an animal familiar is there to help manage magic. And they aren’t like Husks where all the magic is fully absorbed into their body. Because they don’t have access to their original magic source (Thanks Thierry) their body is trying to balance itself out by siphoning the magic of others. Fill in the gap as it were. Which only works if they are in close physical contact with a magic source. But because it isn’t their original magic, it doesn’t last long. That’s why even though Ana was drained completely of magic, Lucy is unable to use it anymore, or at the very least can’t access it as easily.
The only other thing I could think of is how the hell does Fidelia connect with Thierry. Because Ivy was scared shitless of her or the thought of her. She probably threatened them both as Dr. Malliet to do “whatever it takes” to cure Morgan, and we all know how possessive she is with her children.
Long story short, Dr. Thierry Malliet did some experimental treatment which resulted in his husk form and Morgan’s cure/memory loss/magic issues. To protect themselves from being hunted, he fake their deaths and hid away as a recluse and raising Morgan as Lucy so the city’s magic leaders won’t hunt them down.
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Zoyalai Modern AU
This spring I joined @grishaversebigbang and for whatever reason I signed up as a writer. Not a very smart idea it was very stressful and I don’t even like it that much, but y’know, next year, I’ll be ready.
I worked with incredibly talented people who are, generally the sweetest human beings you could meet.
Materialki:
@someofgennie x
@edmeom x
Corporalki:
@shelbychild
Fic summary: Zoya was living day for day, not caring really, not after him. After she bumps into a guy at her favorite coffee shop, her life gets interesting again. Will she let herself feel again?
you can find my fic here *it’s not there yet, so if you wanna see it, keep reading*
It was a wet Tuesday morning; it had been raining all night and I wasn’t feeling like going out. But things happen 24/7 and that means reporters, like me, work 24/7. I wiggled out of bed and went to the bathroom. Seeing what I saw, I groaned. It's Zoya's-Famous-Bed-Hair. Once, in junior year, I woke up late and didn't have time for hair and makeup. So, naturally, I put on the first thing I got my hands on and ran out. Which is usually okay, right? Yeah, well Os Alta Speciality School has uniforms. Though, they’re not like Ketterdam ones. In Ketterdam, it's regular pants-shirt-jumper; in Os Alta they wore keftas. That's not the point, though; the night before, Genya and I were out, partying, so I wore clothes from last night's party. The principal suspended me for the day. This morning, I braided my hair, took my laptop, and left for the Dragon Scale. Dragon Scale is a coffee shop just around the corner from my apartment. Since I started drinking coffee when I was fifteen I have always gone there; it felt safe. Mostly because no one, not even Genya, knew about it. Just like every other day, it was almost empty. One person at the counter and a few others scattered in the back. I went to the counter and Anna, the barista, smiled at me. "The usual?" she asked. "You know it," I smiled back. "Could you bring it to me though? I have a lot of work today." Not turning from the shelves she said, "No worries." With that I went to sit by the window. I liked looking at people as they passed by, even when it's not a busy day. I opened the laptop and started writing: the elections are nearing, are you ready to decide between our two competitors? Is it going to be the cunning Petyr or the sly Nikolai Lantsov? I was never into politics, but Shelby, my publisher, insisted I write about this year's election. I love my job, I really do, but this is incredibly boring and the campaigns don't start until a few weeks from now, so when Anna brought my frappe, I looked to the street. I was like a less smart Sherlock Holmes. Meaning I can't really deduct, I just notice how people walk and dress, or if they have any ticks. Like if their left shoulder is lower than their right one. There was a woman in a hot pink coat, which was an unusual choice considering not many people wear bright colours at this time of year. A pig tailed girl who had stuck a lollipop to her mother's jacket. And a guy who was trying so hard not to be seen, but who obviously failed. With nothing else to do I packed my laptop, took my cup and went out. As I was turning to say bye to Anna, I bumped into a wall. I said, "Really? Couldn't have told me I'm going into a wall???" She started laughing hysterically. "What?" "Sorry to disappoint, but I'm no wall." I turned around. He definitely wasn't a wall. "Witty remarks are really unnecessary." I said. He put his arms up in surrender. "I am sorry that I bumped into you though." “Don’t worry, it could have been someone not as pretty as you.” “Thank you, I think. I’m going to go now. Bye Anna!” as I was walking out I heard Anna talking to the man.
Next day, I was sitting in the park, trying to write something on the elections but it was a no go. I was closing my laptop when I felt someone sit beside me. I looked to my right and saw the guy from the coffee shop. “What does ‘Z��� stand for?” “What are you doing here?” I asked, “Are you following me?” “No, I was walking, and I saw a familiar face, thought I say ‘Hi’. What does ‘Z’ stand for?” “It stands for Zebra.” “Really?” “No, of course not, it stands for Zoya.” “Oh that’s a nice name, is it yours? What does it mean?” “Yes, of course it’s mine. It means ‘life’”I said. “And you are?” “Nikolai.” he looked at his watch, “As much as I liked this encounter, I must go now.” “Bye?” He bowed to his waist, “Farewell.”
I snoozed my alarm three times, but it kept ringing. Then I realised it's not a regular alarm, it's a Genya alarm. "What is it, Kostyk?" I said into the phone. "Oooh!" she exclaimed, "Kostyk, that sounds nice. Not used to it though." "I know that's why I said it. What's the rush?" "It's Saturday." "Oka-" "ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU FORGOT OUR WEEKLY MEETING???" "Don't yell," I said. "Of course I didn't forget, you'd kill me if I did. I just didn't think it'd be this early." "Early?" she asked, "Zoya it's 11:00 in the morning!" "Oops? Okay, well, I'm obviously awake now, so what were you thinking of doing?" I asked. "The Zoo! Winter is coming, and I want to see all the summer animals before they stop going out." "Sure, meet you at the park in two hours?" "Yeah, love you!" she said, and hung up. I got up and went to the kitchen and opened the fridge. It was empty, guess I forgot to go to the store. So I decided to go to a bakery down the street, hoping they still have something warm. Luckily for me, they did. I bought two dollars worth of mini-whinnies and got back home. It was a relatively sunny day, so I sat at the balcony. And for a Saturday, it wasn't really busy. Besides Genya days, Saturdays are usually the farmers market days too. Most people don't have time to buy groceries during the week. I looked up to the Grand Palace. Tourists always said it was the most beautiful building in Os Alta, but I could never see it. It's not ugly, I just found the Little Palace more interesting. The Grand Palace is like any other palace ever, with big towers and shiny roofs, I can see that in any place that had a royal dynasty. But only we have a huge library with a fountain next to the royal Palace. I looked at my watch and yelped, I'm gonna be late!, I thought. I changed from my sweats and tee, and put on jeans, a jumper and boots, In case it rains. Took the leather jacket and keys from the hanger and ran out. The park wasn't far from my apartment so I walked. When I got to our usual meeting spot, Genya was already there. I waved apologetically. She rolled her eyes: "At least you're here, let's go!" "Fine, fine, I'm going!", I laughed. We sat in her car and went to the zoo. During the ride we talked about what we did during the week, how's married life and how's David in general, but all that was dropped the moment we walked through the gates of the zoo. First we saw the birds; pigeons, eagles and those funny colored ones that sing. Next animals were sheep, llama and deer. Their cages were around a pavilion that had horses and ponies you could ride, but those are mostly for kids. Few years back, Genya asked if we could ride but they wouldn’t let us. She said “it wasn’t fair that only kids can do fun stuff…” and continued to tell me how when she has kids they will be free to do whatever they want. We walked next to the deer cage. David loves them so every time we’re here we tend to stay a bit longer. Today we saw there was a new addition to the family. On the cage it said she was a doe named Lola. Next stop were the ostridges and the emus, we skipped those, mostly because one ostridge bit me a few years back when I tried to feed it. Genya got it on camera. On the other side of the sidewalk were the bison, and we always acted as if they were the flying bison from Avatar: the Last Airbender. We named all of them Appa. The seals were sleeping so we went to the reptiles instead. Most of the snakes were also sleeping, as was the aligator so we decided to skip the hippoes too and went to see the wolves. Though they didn't pay attention to us as they were eating. The monkeys were mostly shitting onto their hands and throwing it at each other… The petting zoo was empty so we had all the little goats to ourselves! When I was a kid, and my mom still my mom, I tried to take one of the goats with me home, but I couldn’t carry it alone so it stayed in the petting zoo. When we got to the bears most of them were in the water, but there was one who went in circles around his pond, like he was trying to catch fish. Lions were lying around, hyenas were laughing at the visitors, which is not creepy at all… At that point we got tired and went to the big pond where the ducks and the swans are. I sat on a bench while Genya bought ice cream. “Strawberry?” she asked. I just nodded. "So," she started, "you're not seeing anyone, right?" I choked, "What?!" "Are you seeing anyone?" "Where is that coming from?!" "David recently got together with a childhood friend and when he got home, he said you'd like him and that you should go on a date." she said, casually. "Genya, you know I'm not the one for dating…" She touched her eye-patch and looked away. "I know, but just try? I mean, just meet with him, then decide what to do. Not everyone is like Alex…" I sighed, "Sure, wh-" "REALLY?", she exclaimed. "Yes, chill. Who is he?" "Oh, oh… I have no idea. David just called him Sobachka, but-" "Genya…" "But he can't be bad if he's friends with David. If you don't feel like staying, I'll pull you out." "Okay, Pinkie Promise?", I asked, and she smiled, "Cross my heart, hope to fly!" We threw the rest of our cones to the ducks, passed the safari animals, and finished this year's last visit to the zoo. Next to the zoo is an empty parking lot that has a small adventure park. Ever since I befriended Genya, after the zoo we go to the ferris wheel and the bumper cars.
Since I agreed to go on a blind date I decided it was best to do it in a familiar setting. So I told Genya that I wanted it to be in a coffee shop near my flat. I put on my battle armor, jeans and a sweater, and went out. The streets were empty, even for a weekday. I went into the shop and looked around to see a familiar face. Anna, behind the counter, Gennie in the corner, drawing probably. I sat in my usual place next to the window and waited. Anna came by the table. “Hey, what can I get you?” I looked up, “Nothing yet, I’m on a date…” “That’s a new one, how did that happen?” “I was out with Genya and she suggested it. And it’s Genya, she thinks he’s good, and she would not stop until I said yes so I’m here to see what happens.” She smiled, “Well, I’m sure it can’t be that bad.” “Yeah,” I said and looked behind her, “Gennie’s calling for you.” She turned around, “Oh, I better get that, she’s trying out a new technique.” Then she left. The set time was 17:00, I came a little earlier, just in case. I took my phone out of my pocket to see the time. He’s late. Door opened and Nikolai came in, he looked around and rolled his eyes when he saw me. He came and sat at the chair opposite of me. “Honestly Zoya, is it not tiring to follow me? You could just ask for my number.” I scoffed; ”Don’t flatter yourself I’m here for a date.” His eyes widened, “Come again?” “You thought you were-” “You’re a friend of David’s.” “What? How do you know that?” I asked. He scratched his head, “I, oh Saints…” “You’re my date, aren’t you?” “I would seem so.” I frowned, “Hey, don’t look so pissed I didn’t know either.” “Do you want to do this?” I asked. “I don't see why not.” he said. “I have no expectations, we sit and talk. If we click, cool. If not, we had an interesting afternoon. Deal?” He put his hand out. I shook it; “Zoya Nazyalenski, nice to meet you.” “Nikolai, my pleasure.” he smiled. Anna came by again, “This, it’s hilarious.” she said. “I’m glad I’m not the only one who thinks that.” Nikolai replied. She laughed; “ What can I get you?” “I’ll have a Frappe.” I said, “ What do you want?” Nikolai looked at me, then at Anna, “I’ll have what she’s having, and a plate of biscuits.” Anna nodded, “Coming right up.” “So,” I started, “do we start again, or do we just continue where we left off?” “We continue, can't pretend like you’re not my biggest fan.” i laughed, “Yeah, keep telling yourself that. On another note, how do you know David?” “We lived in the same neighborhood when we were kids.” he said, “One day, when we were 8, there was an explosion in his garage. I was playing in my backyard when it happened, I came running to see what happened, to see if he was okay. Spoiler alert he was, but I think he burned his eyebrows off.” “What happened?” I asked eagerly. “When?” I sighed, “What caused the explosion?” “Oh.” he looked confused, “I don’t know. I never asked. And how do you know David?” “I’m afraid my story isn’t so interesting, we met at highschool.” “You went to the same school?” “Yes but we were on different courses. I took journaling, he took engineering. He wasn’t social, I barely knew him before my best friend, his now wife Genya, worked up the courage to ask him out in junior year.” “Yeah, he definitely wasn’t a social butterfly. I was really surprised when I heard he was getting married.” “But I didn’t see you at the wedding.” I stated. “My father got sick, I couldn’t come” “I’m sorry to hear that.” he smiled; “I’m not, he’s an ass” “Who’s an ass?” Anna came with our order. “His father.” “My father” we said at the same time. I looked at him and smiled, he winked at me. “I see where you get it form” He gasped; “you didn’t” “I did.” Anna facepalmed. “I can see this is going great, so I’m gonna go.” “Thank you Anna.” Nikolai said. She waved him off. “Since we’re basically playing 20 questions, what else do you want to know?” I asked. He looked out the window, “Cliche, but, what is your favorite season and why?” “Winter, because there is nothing better than a wool jumper. My turn. Why does David call you Sobachka?” “This got very personal, very fast.” “Oh,” i said, “I’m sorry, you don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to.” “No it’s okay, no one is ever that direct with me.” he said and ate his last biscuit. “Why? Is it because you’re in this year's elections?” “I thought you didn’t recognise me.” “Oh please, I’m writing an article about you and the other guy” “Huh, he really is ‘the other guy’” he said. “So, are you going to tell me what’s behind your nickname?” “Right, ugh, I’m not my father's son, my mom cheated. Not many people know this. The ones who do call me Sobachka, y’know, like a dog.” “That’s rough buddy… So it doesn’t bother you?”I asked. “No, not really.” I chuckled, “Not many people are like that.” Indeed they are not.” he looked at his watch, “This has been fun, but I’m afraid I must go now. I would like to see you again.” “I would like to see you too.” I smiled.
I was walking down the stairs when I heard my phone ring. “Hello?” “Hi, is this Zoya?”said the voice. “Yes, and you are?” I sighed as I got to the bottom and went to check my mailbox. “Is my voice so plain to you that you do not remember it?” “Nik, it’s not like I have your number saved in my phone. How may I help you this fine evening?” “I was wondering if you are free tonight? For a stroll in the park.” “We saw each other two days ago!” “Please? I need a friendly companion.” he paused, “We’ll eat doughnuts?” “How dare you use doughnuts against me?! Of course I’ll come. Meet in front of the Little Palace fountain in an hour? “Done. I’ll see you there.” I smiled fondly. “Bye Nik.” During the past few weeks I have been seeing him more and more. One Saturday he and David tagged along on our weekly meeting. I got out of the building and went across the street. There were lots of cars so I decided against calling a taxi. It wasn’t a long walk to the Little Palace, but I had to go to the Library first. There weren't many people in the Library so it was a quick stop. The Librarian, Kuwei, is a friend of Nina’s so I paused to chat with him, but he had work to do so I left him to it. When I got to the fountain, Nikolai was already there. I kissed him on the cheek and sat next to him. “What’s up?” He picked up a bag and gave it to me, “Doughnuts first.” “Honestly I don’t know how can someone not like you.” I said and took a bite of the doughnut. “So good…” “Me or the doughnut?” he asked. “What?” “You said it’s good. Me or the doughnut?” “Oh,” I laughed, “definitely the doughnut!” “HA-HA, very funny. Look I didn’t want to ask you, but I really need help with my speech.” I wiped my mouth to get rid of any leftover sugar and took out a notepad out of my bag. “Sure, what's it about?” “Well, this showing is supposed to be about children. Their education, the schools, hospitals, even orphanages.” he rubbed his neck. “That’s great, children should be taken care of, we know that first hand.” “Yeah, but I don’t know how to phrase it. I thought you could help with that.” “Of course. You’re gonna tell me everything that you want to say, we’ll write that down and work our way from there.” We were working on the speech until the sun went down. I looked up at him and said:”It’s getting late, I should go…” Nikolai scratched his head, “Yeah, no, of course, we’ll see eachother on David's birthday, right?” “Yes. This has been fun, I’d like to be more involved with your campaign if you’ll have me.” “You’re always welcome, always.” he hugged me, “I’ll see you in a few days. Bye Zoya.” “Bye Nik.”
“Botkin is making a reunion.” “What, when?” “I don’t know, some time after today.” Genya said. “Hold on, how do you know that?” “Didn’t he call you?” “Not that I know. Wait let me check,'' I took my phone from the table and looked at my phone log, “Oh, right I do have a missed call from an unknown caller. But do I really have to go, I mean I’ll see everyone I like tonight.” Genya sighed, “Zoya, it’s a party, you are going, you are going to have fun.” “But-” “End of discussion.” “EnD oF dIsCuSsIoN” I mocked her. “Oh, piss off. Just don’t be late.” “That’s you Kostyk. Gotta go, love you!” I ended the call. We are celebrating David’s birthday tonight, I had to go and buy him a gift. A normal person would have done that by now, but I just love to do everything last minute. I dressed up, took my wallet and went out to the hardware store. It started to rain during the taxi ride, I was, naturally unprepared for that, thus making me a bit damp when I entered the store. One of the older workers came up to me and said:”A bit unexpected, isn’t it?” “You have no idea.” I replied. “How can I help you?” “It’s my friend's birthday, and he likes to repair regular household items, or just make up new things, so i thought to buy him a new tool kit because his old one is really worn out and probably very rusty or just damaged.” “Right.”he said, “Would you like a completely new tool box, or separate objects and a tool box?” I looked around, “Well, if it were for you what would you get?” “Is there a price range?” “Not really, no. But let’s not make it more than a weekly paycheck.” After a series of isles and relentless explaining of different brands of the same monkey wrench, he recommended a box with wrenches of all sizes, seven different screwdrivers and some kind of special doorknob key that is also in different sizes and very useful. When I bought the tool box, I went to the liquor store to buy Genya’s favorite wine, but the rain hadn’t stopped. I was dripping wet when I came to their apartment. I knocked, twice, when David opened the doors, he went in for a hug, I put my finger up “No, no, we’ll do that when I’m dry.” He shrugged. “If you say so.” “HAPPY BIRTHDAY!” “Thank you Zoya, come on in.” he let me through.I pointed my finger at Genya, “See, not late! And not the last one to get here.” “Not to burst your bubble, but you are the last one.” it was Mal. I looked around, Mal and Alina were on the couch, Nina sitting beside them. Toyla was on the armchair next to the couch. Tamar and Nadia were on the loveseat opposite the couch, near the kitchen. Leoni and Adrik on the floor beside them. Genya was on a stool, her back turned. “No I'm not, Nik isn’t here”. I took off my jacket, and sat on the edge of the couches arm rest.. “Nikolai isn’t coming, his father got worse. Didn’t he tell you?” “No…” I took my phone out of my pocket, “I really need to get this serviced, don’t I?” Nina raised a glass and said: “Yes, yes you do.” I stuck out my tongue to her, “Shut up.” “To change the topic, Zoya, are you going to the reunion?” Leoni asked. I groaned. “Yes… But I don’t really want to.” “Why is that that?” “I don’t like people from highschool, plus, half of them hate me because I acted like a bitch. “ i said, “You all are enough for me.” “That’s cute.” Adrik said. I smiled, “Yeah, cute. And honestly what can we do there and not here? I mean the only highlight of that reunion is Botkin.” Genya looked at me, “Zoya. You are going. You can Ask Nikolai to come with you.” “I doubt Nik would say yes. It’s a highschool reunion full of people he doesn’t know.” “You’d be surprised.” said Alina. “And with that comment we conclude this topic...” I said.
“That’s enough talking about food, It’s making me hungrier than I already am.” David said after an intense discussion of ‘Are Waffles Better Than Pancakes’. If you ask Nina, they are. Though, for Nina, waffles are better than anything. David stood up, “The boys and I will go to Jess’ to get pizza, you try to be nice and leave some wine for us, okay?” We started to laugh, “We’ll do our best.” said Tamar. “Oh, do you think Darina’s working?” asked Tolya. “Why?” asked Mal. “Well, she likes to draw, if she’s working, we could ask that she draws David with ketchup on one pizza, and write ‘HAPPY BIRTHDAY’ on the other.” “Huh, could be fun.” said Adrik, as he went after the others and walked out of the flat. “Bring umbrellas, it’s still raining!” yelled Nadia after them, “Idiots…” she muttered. I looked at Genya, “Kostyk.” “What?” “Go bring out the good wine.” I said. “Ooh, yes, bet! Alina, with me, we need to find the wine.” They stood up, and went to the kitchen. "Okay," Tamar started, "so there's this game Tolya and I used to play as kids, when the boys get back do you want to try?" "Yeah, sure." I said and turned my head towards the kitchen, "Girls, Tamar has a game idea, come here!" They stumbled back to the living room. Alina sat down and asked "What's the name of the game?" "Um, I don't really know? We always called it Nervous Breakdown, cause no one would believe Tolya, but I think it's called Werewolves." she said. "Oh! Oh! Oh!" yelled Leoni. "I think I know that game, but we called it Mafia. You played it with cards?" Genya sighed, "That's great and all, but we don't know how to play." "True." I pitched in. "Okay, so this is kinda complicated so no interruptions and questions are after I explain how the game works, cool?" Tamar asked. "Yes mom." we said in usion. "Genya, go grab the cards, rest of you sit around the table." When Genya got back and sat down, Tamar started to take the playing cards. She started explaining: "Point if the game is to find out who's the werewolf. We sit in a circle. Everybody has a card that's in front of them, that's your card and there's a card in the middle. After you see what's your card and what role are you playing you put it down and don't touch it. You put your hand next to it and close your eyes. Then when I say your role you wake up and do your roles part "Since it's seven of us there's eight playing cards. Two Jokers, they're the werewolf, they change the middle card with anyone's card and touch the person who's card they changed. But they touch with the card not the hand. Nod if you understood." We all nodded. "Then there's a Queen, she's the helper for the werewolfs, she wakes the same time as them and does nothing during that time, but when we all wake she tries to convince the rest of us that she's the werewolf so we'd kill her instead of the real werewolf so that the werewolfs would win. "Then there's the Jacks, he's a psychic, he can see anybody's card and the middle one, but he doesn't touch and he can't see his card in case it's been changed during the werewolf time. "Next up is King, he's a thief. He changes his card with anybody's card and touches the person who's card he changed. And then there's the Aces who are villagers and do nothing." she finished. I looked at all of them one by one and started laughing. Everyone was throwing a fit, there were a lot of spilled drinks. "No joke now, I think we could try, but everytime someone makes a mistake we drink!" Nina said. "You're gonna be the first one!" We started laughing again. And after a few more useless tries, we got serious. They all had so many questions that took a long time answering, boys got back with food before we could even play. So as we ate, we tried to convince them to play, but it was useless since they were drunk off their minds. To be fair I wasn't much better. We spent the night eating and drinking. Mostly drinking. And eating. It was getting late, most of the group left. Alina, Mal and I were still at the flat. David and Mal were talking in the kitchen, Alina was in the bathroom. Genya and I were on the floor.“Zoya?” “Yeah?” “You’re drunk, right?” asked Genya. I looked up and back down, the room was wobbly. “Yeah, definitely.” “Do you like Nikolai?” “Of course I like Nik, he’s a great friend.” She shook her head, “Do you like Nikolai? Like, like-like.” “Oh…” “Well?” “I- no. Maybe, how does one know that? Is there a test I can do online?” Genya started squealing, “HA! I knew it!” She turned toward the kitchen, “I raise my bet to 20 dollars!” But I didn’t hear that. I was thinking of Nikolai, of his face when we see each other.
I came home from Genya and David’s. I showered and put on my pajamas. I fell asleep. I woke up. My phone was ringing. It’s election day. I fell asleep. I woke up. I tried to write. I tried to eat. I fell asleep. I woke up. I got another text. “We won the election. -Nik”. I fell asleep. I woke up. I failed to write. I failed to eat. I fell asleep.
When I finally decided it was time to get out of the house, I went to Dragon Scale. It was extremely windy outside so I put on a beanie. When I walked in, my head was bowed, I went full face into someone. “I’m so sorry.” I said and continued forward,when someone took my hand. I turned around and saw Nikolai. “Zoya.” “Hi.” “Why didn’t you answer my calls? Genya said you were alright but you scared me to death!” I just stared, "Zoya, talk to me!" "Can we go and sit?" I asked. He followed me as I went to the corner booth and sat down, Nikolai a few steps behind me. "I got really drunk at Genya and David's. And I said something to Genya. And I got scared, because if it's true it might end bad for me, just like last time." "What are you talking about?" "i was in many relationships, but none were very serious until I met this guy, it was years ago, when I was in highschool. He was older than me, and I really liked him, at the beginning. But as it went on I realised he was being toxic. It… escalated." "Ecsalated how? Did he hurt you?" Nikolai asked. "No, not me, but Genya. You know that eye-patch she wears?" He nodded. "He did that, I don't know how, I was at work when it happened. I asked her to tell me but she refused, I just stopped pushing." I bowed my head. "Zoya." I looked up. "Nik, if I were to tell you that I was in love with someone, what would you do?" "I tell you that I'm happy for you and that he is an extremely lucky guy." He looked kinda sad. "And what if I told you that I'm in love with you, what would you do?" He shot up in his seat. "What?" I smiled, "I'm in love with you Nik." "I-" "Do with that what you will, but I don't want it, this, to ruin our friendship." "I'm afraid it did." He got up, leaned across the table and kissed me.
Next month was full of TV screening and restless nights as Nik and I wrote his speeches. But Botkins' reunion was soon, so he would take a few days off to have fun. I spent every free moment with Genya and Alina, shopping for the reunion. As much as I didn't want to go, shopping was fun. Genya found a dress in the same shade as her hair and Alina found a bodysuit in black and gold. I had a really hard time finding something I like. But the day before I found a perfect dress in victorian blue. Nik wore a gray suit and had this beautiful waist coat. When we got to the ball room in the Little Palace, it was already full, but we kept close to the outer ring. Most of the people were dancing, even Genya and David, but I went to talk to Botkin. "Mr. Botkin." He turned to face me, "Oh, Zoya dear, how has life been treating you?" That was his signature line, "Good. I just wanted to see how have you been doing?" "Never better dear." he looked behind me, "Now go off, there's a handsome young man waiting for a dance." "What?" I turned around and saw Nik. "Oh, thank-" he was already off to talk to someone else. I walked towards Nik. He bowed, "May I have this dance?" I looked around, nobody seemed to notice us. "Yes, yes you may." The music changed to a slow dance. We twirled around, and around. Once we stopped, I realised we were alone on the dance floor and there was a light on me. I turned to face Nik, but he was kneeling on the floor. "Nik," I said carefully, "what are you doing?" He took a box out of his inner pocket and opened it. Inside was the most beautiful emerald I have ever seen. I knew what it ment. “Would you do it?” he asked. I looked up at him, puzzled, "What?" "Well, y'know…" "No, I don't." He sighed: "Make me the happiest man alive. Would you do it?" "Yes." He got up and hugged me, I thought I was going to fall over, when these balloons started falling from the ceiling. I kissed him. "I love you." I said. He smiled, "I know." And kissed me again. When all the balloons fell, Genya came through. "Do you like it?" she asked. "What? Wait, how do you know?" "Oh silly we all knew." I looked around to see my friends standing around us, laughing. Mal said: "We had a bet on when are you getting official." Tolya raised a hand, "I won!" "You lot are unbelievable! Come one, you are being punished, this is a group hug!" That night ended up to be one of my favorites.
I didn't want to wait. We booked a venue for our closest friends. Genya bought me my wedding dress for "being strong, and being my best friend". It was a floor length dress with long sleeves. Top of my hair was in a bun, while the bottom part flowed in the wind. Alina even bought me a crown. I was walking down the aisle when someone came bursting in. I turned to see who it was. "I don't know why am I surprised, you always were a bitch." Genya answered, "What do you want Alexander?" Nik ran down to me and took my hand, "That's him?" he whispered. "Yes, stay here." I told him. "What do you mean "what do I want"? Isn't there a part when I get to the object?" I looked at him. "Alex, if you do not walk out right now, I'm gonna call the cops." "They didn't stop me then, they won't stop me now." "Ugh, you're so full of yourself." I said. Long story short, the cops stopped him. We continued with the ceremony. The priestess looked at me, then Nik and said: "If you went through that, on you wedding day, you can go through anything. Are the vows really necessary?" We shook our heads. "Then, I pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride." And oh boy did he kiss me.
We're at McDonald's. And we're celebrating. Genya took her milkshake and stood up. Everyone followed her. "For our friends, may they have a long, happy life. Cheers!" There was a long choir of cheers going around. I sat back and looked at Nik and his Happy Meal, "Is it too early to get a divorce?" He looked me and said, with his mouth full of french fries: "Why'd gou go dhat?"
#grishabigbang#gvbbfic20#zoya nazyalensky#nikolai lantsov#zoyalai#modern au#genya safin#david kostyk#alina starkov#mal oretsev#tamar kir bataar#tolya yul bataar#nina zenik#nadia#adrik#leoni
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𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐃𝐈𝐃 𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐍𝐆 . . . but i don’t regret the thing that i did !! hello all, i’ve been keeping this under wraps for the past few days but on a whim i’ve decided to bring on my second ( and last, i promise ) muse for the ride !! with that being said, it is jada here, max’s mun, but this time i’m presenting to you the wonderful im nari !! she was my initial idea before max, but i loved her too much to get rid of her !! i’m so excited for her to be here and i really hope she’s well received as well !! i’ve been slow on his acc for the past few days, and she’s the reason why, but now that i’ve gotten my life ( mostly ) together & things are running just fine again !! anyways, her profile’s here, and below you can find some general trivia on her as well as connection ideas !! oh, and like this to plot !
𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐑𝐘 :
from damyang, south korea !! a v small agricultural town & was born into humble beginnings - a seamstress for a mom, and her dad a farmer !! so she lived on a small farm when she was younger and was raised with pigs, cows, and goats as pets !
she helped around the farm her whole time she lived home, so she has a lot of life skills t & knows all about caring for animals and tending the farm !
they weren’t well off by any means - they had a small income to spread thin between all those people - but they made it work !! she never felt truly slighted as she knew their situation, in fact in her own way, she was spoiled in the best way she could be given their predicament.
raised in a household full of boys - she’s the youngest w a family of 6 loud, rowdy boys.
so in a way she’s more of a tomboy, used to roughhousing and all her sibling’s antics !! she’s also used to doing a lot of heavy lifting around the farm so has surprising strength for her size.
on the other hand, being the youngest & only daughter has upped the girliness !! she’s used to being babied so knows all about acting cute & her mom was always using her as an experiment for all her clothes !! was raised on handmade dresses her mom made in all sorts of intricate patterns & loved it !!
has been an actress in the making for a g e s !!! it all started when she was a really young kid, her mom would let her watch the tv in the tailor shop so she’d have something to do while her mom was at work !!
so there was this drama “a rolling hills romance” ( which i TOTALLY made up lmao !! ) that she absolutely loooved !! it was about a farm romance and was one of the only ones she saw that wasn’t taking place in the city !! it just got her in love with acting in general though, she’d eventually memorize scenes from all the dramas she’d watch and recite them out of the blue !!!
eventually it got her into theatre acting, which was her favorite !! she started watching broadway shows from abroad, memorizing the songs even though she didn’t always know what they were saying. but she just loooved the whole thing, and when she was in middle school she joined her school’s theatre department !
this is where the majority of her english skills came into play - she would memorize the lyrics, and though she didn’t really know what they were saying after a while she began to understand some words !! so while her pronunciation is pretty good from mimicking actors, she lacks the vocab to really use it !!
so she’s really hesitant to speak in english, because if people hear her speak they think she’s a lot more fluent than she is & it lands her in awkward situations !! so she mainly just ... doesn’t do that lol !!
i can’t believe i forgot this when i first wrote this !! this is a very vital part of her character omg !! her first “acting debut” if you could call it that was for a chocolate commercial when she was 8 !! basically she was in this christmas commercial for peppermint chocolates that got on tv and everyone in her town went crazy !! she like goes and delivers these chocolates while singing jingle bells and it’s wholesome and cute and swet !! it wasn’t that big at all lol but for their small town it was, and to them she’s a sort of small celebrity for it !! i’m sure some people might remember the commercial but notlike .... her yk ?? because that was her first and last role for a while lol !!
anyways !! she’s always been self-conscious of her looks - she felt like she wasn’t pretty enough, and limited her confidence. so at 16 she got 2 part-time jobs to begin saving up money, and at 17 she went to seoul to get a nose job & jaw reduction surgery.
and things seemed to be great after that !! she was confident, gaining more friends, but the real excitement came when her mom read online about an audition for legacy and jokingly asked if she wanted to do it.
legacy had never even be on her radar !! she had always heard her friends talk about them for idols, but she had never thought of them as a company that accepted actresses. upon reading though, she was hooked !! she begged her parents, and they originally rejected the idea because they thought it was one of her phases. however, after much persuasion, they allowed her to attend auditions !!
she never expected to get in, she wanted to do it more as an experience than anything. but to say it was a shock was an understatement !! but she was so so incredibly happy.
had a hard time adjusting initially - she was only 17, and almost right after getting there she had to spend her birthday alone since she hadn’t made any friends yet. and although she’s naturally outgoing, it was really hard for her to be social at first because she was surrounded by so many more people than she was used to !!
for the past few years nari’s been doing general idol training, though that’s about to change !! she’s significantly improved her dance skills ( which were nearly nonexistent prior to training ) & gotten a lot better at her singing !! but her heart’s still deep into acting, and she knows that she wants to do that as well as some modeling !
she still suffers a lot with her self confidence, and there’s a lot of pressure for her to do well ! in school, because she’s the first of her family to go to university, and as a trainee, because she’s risked so much for it & doesn’t want to disappoint since her family has v high expectations for her !
𝐏𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐎𝐍𝐀𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐘 :
a little lovebug !! she’s literally so loving and accepting of everyone - definitely, someone you can come to talk out any issues, she listens & provides support, free of any judgement !! also v keen on skinship i apologize in advance
she’s come out of her shell a lot since she got to seoul, but she’s still a little shy if she doesn’t know you well or is put in a situation w a lot of people !! pls be patient with her ^^
like max, she’s got a lot of energy in that little body !! but she actually has adhd so a lot of it isn’t really by choice. it frustrates her a lot because it limits her focus & has the tendency to make her restless. it was worse when she was younger, but has gotten better as she’s gotten older and she takes medicine to keep everything in check.
she’s also got v low self-confidence, she’s never been satisfied with herself and constantly wants to get better !! despite the surgeries, she’s still got a lot of insecurities both physically and not, but keeps them bottled up a lot bc she doesn’t want to burden others !! ( i want to shake her !! ) bc of that, she takes both criticism & compliments very seriously, she’ll turn all red if someone gives her the smallest compliment but will also overanalyze & judge herself if she gets critiqued.
in fact her surgery’s almost made her more self-conscious, as she now feels that all the opportunities granted to her are because of her looks post-surgery. the worst insult she could get was she’s only succeeding because of her looks, because she’s worked so hard on her skills and she wants them to be what takes her forward, not something she had to pay to get.
despite that, she’s the true definition of a happy virus !! on the outside, she’s almost always smiling, and when all the other stuff doesn’t get in the way, she is on the inside too !! always trying to look on the optimistic side & give people a fresh perspective !
on that note she’s v childish, and sometimes she has to remind herself w younger trainees coming in she’s being seen as more of an example and needs to be ~serious~!!
the duality is real !! in performances, sad / angry scenes are actually her specialty, and right after she’ll just spring up and smile like what’s up guys !!! a lil creepy when she goes from sobbing to giggling so she’s learned to transition a little better lmao !!
she always wanted to be a youtuber, but never got the chance, and by the time she joined legacy she wasn’t allowed to have an account. so now she has these little vlogs she does to send her parents ! they’re mainly of her getting ready, hanging out with friends, and practicing ( all out of training hours, ofc ) so she can often be found seemingly talking to herself, even though she’s really recording videos !!
though being an idol wasn’t her initial dream, she adores the music. her love for the kpop genre has made the last few years more bearable, and girl crush concepts are her absolute favorite !! she’s been religiously keeping up w future dreams like she’s still just a fan back at home, and you’ll catch her humming all around the company building !!
in fact, prior to joining legacy, she had a fan blog for all her faves where she would provide commentary called ri raves !! it was ... a sight !!
she’s pansexual, and leaning towards girls !! it’s something she’s really shy about sharing bc of the fear of judgment, but if she tells you know you have all her trust !!
a little spoiled tbh !! she’s got the youngest child syndrome BAD, and since she was the only girl she’s used to things being done for her !! not in the bratty way, it’s just made her a little lazy and she loooooves attention and being doted on.
don’t let her appearance fool you though !! she’s got surprising strength ... strong woman do bong soon’s not her favorite show for no reason !!! all those years of defending herself from her brothers’ teasing had to come in handy, you know ?? we’ve got a black belt in hapkido here folks !!
definition of a theatre kid, starts bursting out into songs she loves out of nowhere omg it’s embarrassing ?? also overreacts about everything omg the world is on fire according to her !! she’s gotta faint dramatically !!!
she’s got the jeolla-do dialect, and prior to working on her standard dialect it was veeery prominent ! it makes her say a lot of words differently than someone from seoul might, and after realizing she was one of the only ones with it she’s been trying to make her speech sound more like standard korean nowadays.
she’s taken up sewing from her mom, and especially loves embroidery !! so she always loves upcycling & spicing her outfits up !!
definitely has a unique fashion sense because of it - in addition to that she’s very frugal, and favors thrifted clothing !! she’s got a mix of vintage, chic, and artsy style !
a rule follower !! veeery unlike max, she tends to stick to the rules out of fear of what will happen if she doesn’t, because she has way too much on the line to quit now !
𝐂𝐎𝐍𝐍𝐄𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐒 :
acting buddies ?? i know there aren’t too many, but even if that’s not your muse’s preferred career path, any muses who have a passion for theatre are welcomed as well !!
someone who unlike her, is v wild and lives on the crazier side !! she’s constantly going into a responsible panic when they’re around and they’re always trying to get her to loosen up !!
someone who co-stars in her little vlogs to her family !! hey, if you can’t be youtubers for real you might as well pretend, right ??
someone who made her adjustment to seoul easier as she transitioned from country to city life !! they’ve lived in seoul for a long time / their whole life and know all the best spots to show her !!
someone who’s clothing she likes to spice up, she’s always embroidering or adding pattern to their clothes to give their outfit a little flair !
someone who knows her past her happy side, who she’s got on speed dial whenever she’s feeling down and needs someone to talk to, and vice versa !!
someone who she came out too, be it on purpose or by accident, and it’s caused her to grow really attached to them bc it’s one of the most personal things about her !
a girl she’s got a crush on but is terrified to tell !!! like yes you’re pretty .... but these things are never easy !!! she’s gonna tell you .... eventually !!
and ofc - exes, flirtationships, summer loves, anything of the sort !
someone she lowkey fangirls over ?? she still hasn’t accepted the fact that she & the other trainees are kinda on the same level, someone she’s kind of became a fan of and can’t really function around them ??
by some crazy chance, this person has come across her old kpop fan blog at one time or another and won’t !!! let !!! her !!! live !!! it !!! down !!! will you accept her bribe and swear to never bring it up again ??? please ???
someone she doesn’t like ??? this is v rare but ... for one reason or another, she can’t stand them and transforms to a completely diff person around them !!
someone who made the mistake of teasing her a little too much or insulted her so much that she just straight-up tries to take them down !!! v unexpectedly !! bonus if it’s someone way out of her fighting capabilities !!
more ideas coming when i create an official plots page !!
#( nari & mun ! )#so late ... i apologize o.o#i will rb tomm !!#& i will be getting to all your lovely mssgs ty !!
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What Once Was Chapter 4
This chapter took waaaay longer than it should of, but I kept getting stuck. I hope you enjoy it! Thanks for reading!
As the sun drops below the horizon, the palace is illuminated with gold. The tallest towers seemed to kiss the stars. Across the alabaster bridge is Portia, the Countess’s servant who Armyah ran into at the market earlier that day. She walks toward the magician, meeting her halfway.
“If you told me you were Armyah I would’ve escorted you to the palace!” she teased. Armyah simply smiled back, but then, movement caught the corner of her eye. Corkscrewing through the swirling waters below was come sort of creature. She leaned over the edge of the bridge to get a better look. Whatever it is, it’s glowing like a bloodless ghost in the sparkling moat. Its body was long and rippling, almost ribbon-like. “Something catch your eye?” Portia asked, catching up with the other woman. She leans over the edge next to the fortune-teller. Her eyes light up when she spots the wriggling creature in the water below. “Oh! Do you like animals?” she inquired excitedly. Armyah smiled at her and nodded. “Oh good! You’ll definitely enjoy your stay here.” She loops her arm through the magician’s and leads her the rest of the way across the bridge. “The palace is home to all kinds of exotic pets! But you don’t want to get too friendly with that one.” She jabbed her thumb in the direction of the creature they just saw. “That’s a vampire eel, imported from faraway swamps. No eyes or ears, but they’re still pretty graceful, don’t you think?” Armyah doesn’t say anything. Even she wanted to, she didn’t think she’d be able to get a word in edgewise. “Unless you splash around a lot, they won’t even bother you. But you wouldn’t want to catch a bite. If they bite, they don’t stop drinking until the body is dry…” The fortune-teller nods slowly, peering just over the parapet at the creature as it spirals into the billowing silt. Graceful isn’t a word she’d use for the eel…terrifying seemed pretty fitting, though. Portia occupies them both with meaningless conversation all the way to the intricate doors. As they get closer, Armyah’s stomach starts twisting. Uncertainties start to bubble like water coming to a boil over a fire. Was this a mistake?
“We’ve arrived,” Portia smiles brightly. For some reason, the other woman settles Arymah’s nerves with the most simplistic of gestures. She swings her fists against the copper plating on the doors resulting in three skull-rattling rings. The pendulous doors swing open after the last echo fades and she sweeps the magician inside the radiantly lit hallways. Inside is like a different world, everything is gleaming; the floors, the walls, steep ceilings, all clean-cut and polished stone. Lining the hall on either side are many servants, standing at attention in brilliant uniform. Armyah winces slightly, she suddenly feels underdressed in her dirty, hand-made clothing. The servant just inside the door reaches out to take her bag, but Armyah clutches it close to her, unwilling to let the cards out of her possession. A chorus of welcomes chime from the smiling faces in all directions, the magician’s eyes flick left and right uneasily at the greetings. When they reached the end of the line, one servant slips away to join the pair. A kind face with exaggerated features beams up at them as they bow deeply. Barely four feet tall, a brilliant cerulean feather stands proudly from their hat of purple velvet. “How are we doing on time?” Portia asks them.
“Impeccable timing!” they exclaimed, “the first course will be served shortly. Her ladyship has yet to descend.” Portia heaves a sigh of relief.
“Perfect, run and tell the kitchen that our guest has arrived,” she directs. The funny, small person salutes dramatically and slips away behind a panel in the wall which slides seamlessly shut behind them. “Well, well! It looks like we’ll be arriving right on time!” Portia gives the magician a knowing wink and gestures for her to follow, “Her ladyship will be joining us soon. I’ll show you to the dining room.” Armyah stopped dead in her tracks.
“Dining?” she gulped, audibly, “as in…me? Dining? With the Countess?” Portia only looks at the young woman a moment before barking out a hearty laugh.
“What? Don’t tell me you thought we wouldn’t feed you!” She giggles and pats Armyah on the shoulders in sympathy. “Don’t be shy. You’re the guest of honor!” Her words make the apprentice’s stomach flutter with everything but hunger. Nevertheless, she follows the servant’s purposeful stride to the dining room. Soon, they were standing before a fine, mahogany door and Portia turns to face her. “We’ll go in together, okay?” Not looking at her, Armyah takes a deep breath and nods. She heaves open the heavy doors and leads the fortune-teller inside.
Rich scents fill her senses, unfamiliar and tantalizing. A quintet dressed in gauzy evening gowns are playing a pleasant, ambling melody. Before her, an impossibly long table laid heavy with platters of the most careful delicacies. There are foods that Armyah has never seen nor dreamed of right here in front of her. Portia pulls out a chair for her and she sinks down into the plush seat, clutching her bag to her chest anxiously. Now that the food was right in front of her, teasing her, her stomach knots. She wants to dig in, but the Countess had yet to arrive…and everyone was watching her. It takes every ounce of her effort to tear her eyes away from the table, trying to focus on anything but the delicious spread inches away. Her gaze falls on a strange painting on the wall across from her. The scene is that of a meal shared among a host of figures with the heads of beasts. The table is laden with smaller animals, provided by a central character with the head of a goat. Rays of gold glitter around its head, and its red eyes are strikingly lifelike.
“Do you like the painting?” a sonorous voice asks.
“No…” Armyah replies dreamily, without thinking. A chiming laugh pulls her from her thoughts, whipping her head to the voice’s owner. The Countess takes her seat, just as graceful as she remembers from last night. She smiles at the magician placidly.
“Such honesty!” she proclaims, “I must confess that I do not like it either.” She sneers in the direction on the offending décor. “I find it sometimes spoils my appetite. So why does it remain on the wall, where I must look at it always, you ask?” A servant appears at Armyah’s side and presents a bowl of yogurt and cucumber soup before her. She lifts the bowl to her lips and drinks generously. “Sentimental value, I suppose,” the Countess continued, “It was one of my husband’s favorites.” The magician is taken aback at the mention of the late Count. She looks back to the painting, the goat-like character in the center somehow seems familiar. Its ruby eyes so vivid it looks almost as if they’re looking right back at her.
“Beautiful red,” she mutters absentmindedly, still slurping her soup.
“Ah yes…” The Countess muses, “It is a beautiful red. But, more to the point…you have a spoon, I recommend using it.” Armyah flushes crimson, her bowl is already empty at that point. She sets the elaborate dish down carefully and wipes her mouth on her sleeve, not daring to meet the Countess’s gaze. Amusement shimmers in her brilliant, ruby eyes. “As I was saying, the goat-headed one in the middle is supposed to be him. Providing for the people, as he saw himself.” She scoffed, “Well, he certainly knew how to entertain. Festivities at the palace her exhaustive…he loved to spoil his guests.” Armyah’s empty bowl was whisked away, replaced with a dish of flaky golden pastries with some sort of savory filling. The Countess watches with morbid curiosity as the magician devours them. “Tell me, Armyah…did you ever attend our Masquerade?” She blinks up at the Countess, mouth full. “I would imagine so. Our doors were open to all…up to a certain capacity.” Armyah chews her pastry slowly, uncertain how to answer. If she did ever attend, she doesn’t remember. The Masquerade was a party held each year in celebration of the Count’s birthday. All this talk of the past, she wonders if it has to do with why she was called here in the first place.
“I know it’s a difficult matter to discuss,” the Countess reassures her, “I know how fondly the people of Vesuvia remember the Masquerade. And, of course, how deeply affected we all were by the murder.” Armyah nearly chokes on her pastry. Mercifully, she catches herself, but her pulse quickens nonetheless. “Such a terrible shock to the guests. Such a vicious injustice on this house,” the Countess looks almost forlorn until her expression hardens, “To slaughter the host while her celebrates his birthday, sharing his joy and prosperity, with open doors? A hateful crime, indeed.” The empty plate in front of the magician was replaced with a fragrant lamb dish in a complicated sauce. All she knows about the murder was through rumor and whispers. The story was full of holes, more questions than answers, but the end was always the same: The Count retired to his chambers and, by midnight, he and his bedroom were both engulfed in flames. The culprit was captured on the spot…or surrenders, the details vary. However, before he could be brought to justice, the murder escaped. The palace has been closed to the public since.
“You may be wondering why I’m telling you this. Why I called you here,” the Countess spoke with gravity. Every eye in the room was set on her. “I have been planning this for some time…This year, we will hold the Masquerade once more,” she announces. The room was split between two different reactions, delighted and petrified. “The gates will again open, and the festivities of Lucio’s honor will be more fantastical than ever.” She dabs the corner of her mouth daintily, you could cut the tension in the room with a knife. The only one who seems indifferent to the news is Portia. “As I said, I have planned all the necessary details already. There is but one loose end in need of tying.” She folds her napkin and places it back on her lap. “The murderer roams free to this day…too long he’s evaded me. So long as he stalks the shadows of this city, I cannot guarantee the safety of my guests.” She closes her eyes, her eyebrows furrow in determination. “I must find him, and I must bring him to justice before the people of Vesuvia. Surely, you know the murderer of whom I speak…” Armyah did know, she knew very well who the Countess was referring to. “Doctor Julian Devorak,” the name fell from her lip like venom, “my husband’s trusted physician.” There was a terrible crash. All eyes land on Portia, whose face is stricken with horror. The broken remnants of their dessert at her feet. “Portia?” The Countess’s eyes are wide with shock.
“F-forgive me, milady,” the young woman stammered, “slippery hands.” Two servants rush to her aid, sweeping away the shattered porcelain with wind-sprint speed.
“You are forgiven,” the Countess sighed with a wave of her elegant hand, “Anyway…this is where you come in, Armyah.” She looked to the magician as the young woman shrinks under her gaze. “The fugitive has proved very elusive. The palace guard is helpless in rooting him out, but while they continue to disappoint me…” she looks pointedly at the guards stationed on either side of her. “You come highly recommended. Your master is known far and wide.” Armyah was aware Asra had a reputation, but she didn’t realize his name was spoken far and wide. “Rumor has it that you have surpassed him already.” She wasn’t sure where the Countess was getting this information, but she would hardly say she was stronger than her teacher. However, he does go on about how gifted and talented she is. “I, myself, can see the future, in dreams whether I like it or not. That is how I know it is you who will find the fraudulent doctor who betrayed us and murdered my husband.” Her sour face softened, albeit slightly. “This is why I’ve called you here, Armyah. If anyone can help me find him, it’s you.” The Countess gives a smile that can only be described as mischievous as she takes a sip of wine.
“And…if we find him?” the magician squeaked. It’s not what she wanted to ask…she wanted to ask what would happen if she dared to tell the Countess no.
“When we find him,” the Countess affirms, setting her glass down hard, “we will bring him to justice before the people so that all may see his long-awaited punishment.” She sneers in disgust, “whether he begs for his life or hangs his head in defeat, the people will delight in his suffering. A spectacle of vengeance…the mob with love it.” Another impish smile crosses her lips as a servant fills the Countess’s glass and she takes a fresh sip. “And so, to commence the festivities the doctor will die on the gallows.” Armyah turned green at the thought. “If all goes according to plan, that is.” She rises. On instinct, Armyah does so as well. “Portia?” the Countess calls.
“Yes, milady?” she replies, stepping forward and awaiting her command.
“Show Armyah to the guest quarters. I imagine there is much to ponder before the night is out,” the smile she gives the magician is almost tender.
“Right away, milady,” Portia nodded obediently. She whisks young woman to the door after a humble bow to the Countess.
“I’m interested to see more of this magic of yours, Armyah,” she calls after them, “and I look forward to our partnership.” Portia practically pulls the fortune-teller out into the corridor. The Countess is probably counting on the fact that she’s too afraid to refuse.
They’re quiet as Portia leads her to her room, but she doesn’t mind. The Countess’ words left them both with a lot to think about. After a few turns, they pass a wide staircase, veiled in shadow. It’s cold and smells of ash. Armyah strains to see where they lead, but the darkness at the top is impenetrable. Curled up on the bottom are two large, lanky dogs. They notice the magician just as she saw them. Fathomless eyes fix on her and they silently rise from their stair. Though they look like they could strike at any given moment, she sensed no ill intent from the animals. She holds out her hand as they approach to sniff it. Huffing breaths tickle her skin and the longer they sniff her, the harder their tails swish back and forth. Portia watches is wonder.
“Oh…you actually got up from your favorite stair?” she asks the hounds, “These two never take kindly to strangers. It’s how they’re trained, but…” she pauses, hesitant, but intrigued, “I’ve never seen them act like this.” Slim snouts brush against Armyah’s sides as the dogs investigate her further. When they decide they’re satisfied, they draw back and look to the fortune-teller expectantly. There was something unsettling in their gaze. They weren’t ordinary dogs…and the deeper she looked into their eyes, the less she understood. She finds herself almost staring them down. The animals shiver and drop their heads low under the pressure of her observation. They slink back to the staircase obediently. When she looks back to Portia, her face is radient with curiosity. “I’ve…never seen them do that. For a second there, I was sure you were going to lose a couple of fingers. I’m impressed.” Armyah blushed from the compliment. “You didn’t cast a spell on them, did you?” Thankfully she laughed, the magician couldn’t tell if she was joking or not. “Ugh, remind me to get them their chamomile cakes after I get you to your room. Otherwise, they’ll be up all night.” She beckoned Armyah to follow her. As they passed the stairs she could feel her vision become hazy, almost like the feeling she gets when the cards speak to her, only more menacing. She shakes away the feeling and follows the Countess’s servant. They reach a wooden door with elaborate designs carved into it.
“Here we are!” Portia announced, “These will be your quarters for now, Armyah.” Armyah looked around at the beautiful room. It was simple compared to the rest of the palace, she was thankful for that. A large window looked over the city, dim under the moonlight. A daybed tucked under a canopy was nestled against the wall, it looked very comfortable. “You can put your things wherever you like.” Portia smiled at the magician. “Breakfast is at sunrise…I’ll be sure to wake you.” Armyah must’ve looked tired, the servant gave her a sympathetic smile. “If you find anything lacking, don’t hesitate to ask.” The fortune-teller put her bag on the bed and smiled at the other woman. “You look about ready to drop. I’ll leave you be unless you have any other burning questions?” Armyah blinked…she feels like she could tell Portia anything, but she knew better.
“What happened at dinner?” she asked, “why did you drop the tray?” The color drained from the girl’s face and she bites her lip anxiously. For a moment, Armyah thinks she just might bolt out the door leaving her question unanswered.
“You know…” she laughs nervously, “slippery hands, for one thing…” The magician doesn’t reply. “It’s just…we were all so glad to hear the Countess was expecting a guest, but to think she asked you to come here for something like this?” She quiet for a moment, then she shakes her head, “Finding that doctor who, for all anybody knows, could be dead in a ditch somewhere. I mean, it’s been years since anyone…you know.” She leans nonchalantly against the doorframe. “He could be anywhere, right?” And it’s not like the guards have had any recent leads. But now that you’re here…” she sighed, staring Armyah dead in the eyes, “the Countess is hopeful, for the first time I can remember. If anyone can help her, it’s you.” He pushes off the wall and claps the fortune-teller on the shoulder, “Sleep well, Armyah.” Her soft voice trails off as she walks through the door and shuts it behind her.
Armyah burrows herself in the soft, satin sheets and it feels as though she’s weightless. The sound of Portia’s ever distant foot-falls lull her into unconsciousness…
Of course she can’t sleep. After the day-long trek to the palace she finally has a chance to rest, but whenever she settles into the embrace of sleep she’s tugged back to consciousness. She sits up, frustrated. Once she does, she feels the faintest hint of magic in the air coming from somewhere beyond the door. Armyah slips quietly out of bed, slips on her shoes and grabs her bag. Turning the metal handle, she emerges into the brightly lit hallway. Thankfully, there’s no one in sight, she must’ve wasted a few hours tossing and turning. Shuffling down the hallway, she trusted her magic to lead her down the winding corridors. The trail leads her to a balmy veranda bathed in starlight. Below are the lush, green gardens and from the balcony she can see that the middle forms a maze of greenery with a clearing at the center. She silently descends to the garden path and follows the trail of magic through the maze. As she nears the center she can hear the soothing melody of falling water grow louder and louder. A gazing pool surrounding a beautiful fountain and a rich, old willow tree blanketing it. Hanging from the tree is a familiar face, a certain lavender snake she is delighted to see.
“Faust!” she whispers as to not alert anyone to their presence, “what are you doing here?” If she was here, maybe Arsa was too. She flicks her tongue at the magician and hovers over the gazing pool. She looks as if she wants to show her something. Armyah sits at the edge of the pool and leans over to peer in the reflective water below. The longer she concentrates on the shape of the water, the more the change; colors too faint to see start to deepen, shadows start to twist and form. She blinks, her reflection fades away and in its place is Asra, drawing water to his face and drinking deeply. Each droplet that falls from his hands sends ripples through the water and distorts his image. Armyah doesn’t speak, afraid that any sound will break the spell. She’s just relieved to see a familiar and friendly face. He shakes out his hair and blinks the water from his eyes and looks straight at his apprentice.
“Armyah?” he gasps in disbelief. He looks as surprised as she is. He leans forward, so close she can see the droplets sticking to his eyelashes. “Can you hear me?” Armyah nods, still barely able to believe she’s talking to him. If he didn’t do it, then how did she? “Incredible…” he breaths. He’s sitting cross-legged, probably beside a pond. His mount is laying beside him resting its head on his knee…it’s the same beast as she saw in her dream the night before. “I see Faust found you alright? I wasn’t sure about leaving her, but after that reading you gave me I thought I’d trust my intuition.”
“I’m glad she’s here,” Armyah admits. The serpent is still hanging from the branch. She looks very proud of herself. The magician is beyond relieved to have her near. In the pool, Asra looked pretty pleased with himself as well causing his apprentice to laugh, “I’m glad you’re here, too.” She swears she could see a blush creeping across his face, but she’s not sure why. Then the beast on his knee gives a grumbling snort resembling that of the sound of groaning wood.
“Where is here exactly?” he asks, looking behind her, “I know that tree…are you at the palace?” Armyah regales him with the details of the previous night with the Countess. However, she leaves out the part about the alleged murder breaking into their home…she doesn’t want him to worry. The more she speaks, the more interested he becomes. “Unbelievable! The day I leave is the day you needed me the most. Even then, you didn’t really need me at all.” She doesn’t say it aloud, but it would have been nice if he was there through it. The entire ordeal is still a bit overwhelming. “I’m glad Faust is with you, at least. I would guess that she had something to do with this.” He gestures to the water in front of him, “if anything happens to either of you, I’ll know. I can live with that.” She wanted to ask if he was so interested in her well-being then why did he leave in the first place, but she thought better of it. Mostly, because she’s too tired to argue. The beast on his knee groans and blinks awake, peering up at Asra. “Looks like we’ve rested long enough,” he pats the strange creature on the head and looks back at Armyah, “we have to go, but I’m really glad I got to see you.” He rises with one last glance and moves out of view of the gazing pool, the great beast lumbering behind him. The wind roars and the image was enveloped in a storm of rust-colored sand, once it clears she can see her reflection again with Faust slithering up next to her. The color of the sand, the creature beside him…everything was the same as that dream she had the night he left.
She remembers Asra once telling her magic is what you do to make the outcome of your desire become reality. Did her magic reach out to him, wherever he is, to find a familiar face in the sea of unknown surrounding her? Arymah rises, knees trembling with exhaustion, and beckons Faust to follow. Getting back to her room unnoticed is going to be a challenge. Steeling herself, she heads back to the palace. Birds chirping signal dawn is going to be arriving soon. A suffocating feeling engulfs her, and she feels almost like she’s being watched. Many eyes, from every corner of the garden. This maze is teeming with life. The rustling leaves are starting to sound like whispers. Hastening her step, she retreats up the stairs and slips back inside.
“That snake has gotten much bigger…”
Sorry about skipping over the part in Lucio’s old wing, but this chapter was getting way too long. Let me know what you think! <3
Tag list: @julians-chest-hair
#the aracana game#the arcana#julian devorak#julian x apprentice#asra#portia devorak#nadia satrinava#count lucio#muriel#what once was
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All arcana asks ;)
I hate u so much Hayden. Putting it under a read more cuz HECK this is a lot. Also u can clearly tell Rose is my most fleshed out apprentice lmao. U can also tell when I started to burn out lol. THIS TOOK ME ALL DAY HECK
1. Name? Surname?Rose LaFontaineAaron (???)Lyra (???)
2. Any Family?Rose: she has a sister who’s 10 years older than her named Yvette, she’s a pirate. And her mother still lives in Fantasy France.Aaron: SO MANYLyra:….she doesn’t like to talk about it
3.Any Familiar?Rose: A bull mastiff named Mika who can change in size (so she can fit in a pocket or be the size of a horse, at her will)Aaron: A bearded dragon named Sir Slappy Skiddaddly the Third Lyra: A cute little rat named Pixie
4.Asra, Nadia, or Julian?Rose: JulianAaron: AsraLyra: Nadia
5. Best strength in magic?Rose: IllusionsAaron: Fire magic. Anyone who follows Eereree saw this coming.Lyra: the creation and manipulation of light
6. Favorite color?Rose: Maroon or light pink Aaron: Red. Surprise surprise Lyra: Purple
7. Favorite number?Rose: 69Aaron: 420Lyra: HOW DID YOU TWO ANSWER THAT SO FAST??? Uhh, 7?
8. Sexuality?Rose: BiAaron: PanLyra: Lesbian
9. Weird hobby?Rose: not really weird so much as unexpected for her, but she likes to sew and knit.Aaron: Weed lmaoLyra: Buying books but never actually getting around to reading them.
10. Favorite season?Rose: SpringAaron: FallLyra: Spring as well
11. Favorite weather?Rose: Sunny, but not hot.Aaron: Thunderstorms Lyra: Drizzly
12. Favorite place in Vesuvia?Rose: The Raven, or Mazelinka’s place. She loves that lady like she was her own grandmother.Aaron: The market. That pumpkin bread thoLyra: The palace library
13. How does their laughter sound like?Rose: Sober, its a soft almost teasing giggle. Drunk, loud cackling. Both are very charming in their own way.Aaron: LOUDLyra: giggling and soft snorting
14. How do they look like when they cry?Rose: She doesn’t cry often so when she does its…a lot. Loud gross sobbing often accompanied by yelling. Its not pretty.Aaron: Ghibli tears. You can’t convince me otherwise.Lyra: A lot of sniffling
15. What do they like to wear?Rose: Long dresses/skirts with low cut tops. Her brests are her best asset and she’s gonna show em whether you like it or not.Aaron: Tits out. That’s all u need to know.Lyra: Long, modest cut dresses with a corset. Very simple, but she always looke nice.
16. What are their fears?Rose: Fears? Don’t know her. (Actually death, which is…ironic considering the circumstances)Aaron: Abandonment. And cockroaches.Lyra: Rejection. The dark.
17. What do they like to do Friday night?Rose: put on fancy lingerie, get wasted, and play card games.Aaron: Blaze it lmaoLyra: (cuddling with Nadia) Reading
18. Do they use makeup?Yes. All 3 of them.
19. Favorite food?Rose: Mama LaFontaine’s crepesAaron: Spicy Vegetarian ChiliLyra: Cookies (technically not FOOD, but sweets are her big weakness)
20. Favorite drink?Rose: Rosé wine. Sounds redundant considering her name, but thats why she likes it. Growing up she thought it was named after her.Aaron: Just water, surprisingly.Lyra: Green tea
21. Zodiac sign?Rose: CancerAaron: Cancer Lyra: Aquarius(I dont care i have two apprentices that are the same sign leave me alone)
22. Day of birth?Honestly haven’t even thought if that lmao
23. Favorite movie?Rose: Heathers. She loves a bad bitch movie.Aaron: Shrek. Lyra: Not really a movie person tbh. She likes Disney stuff tho.
24. Favorite music genre?Rose: Classic rock or indie. Also has an interest in things involving old or obscure instruments.Aaron: Pop PunkLyra: Soft indie or video game soundtracks
25. Favorite song?Rose: Over the Hills and Far Away- Patty GurdyAaron: It’s Never Sunny in South Philadelphia-The Wonder YearsLyra: Youth- Daughter
26. Favorite TV show?Rose: Likes to watch cooking shows cuz its usually the only thing good onAaron: Doesn’t really do TVLyra: Also not really into TV, will put on like, QVC or something for background noise tho (im guilty of this)
27. What is their style?Rose: Like i said before. Long skirt, tits OUT.Aaron: Lazy but somehow manages to look hot? How does he do that???Lyra: Simple and modest, but always in pretty colors.
28. Any mental health issues?Rose: She has some anger issues, along with a tendency to bottle everything upAaron: hrrhgghh i haven’t gotten that deep with him WHOOPSLyra: Really bad anxiety
29. Any health issues in general?Not really?
30. Are they human?Yeah….or are they dancer?
31. Favorite book?Rose: She honestly can’t remember the last time she had time to read for fun.Aaron: Wtf is a book lolLyra: Don’t make her choose for the love of god
32. Favorite book genre?The person writing these questions assumes I know books lmao
33. Favorite time of the day?Rose: SunsetAaron: Early afternoonLyra: Like, really early morning. My sweet child why are you awake this early
34. If they weren’t a magician, who would they be?Rose: A pirate like her sister. Unless this is meant as like a modern AU then she’d probably sew and knit cute things and sell them online.Aaron: Probably a video game youtuber tbhLyra: Not much different, only she’d run a little mom and pop knick knack/ book store instead of a magic shop
35. Do they believe in ghosts?Yeah
36. Do they believe in aliens?Kind of?
37. Do they like sports?What is this…sport you speak of?
38. How do they look like?Sexy
Rose:
Aaron:
Lyra:
(art by @willowwish64 )
39. What is their biggest motivation to solve the Lucio’s killer mystery?Rose: To clear Julian’s name Aaron: To make sure it wasn’t him and he just doesn’t remember. I mean…fire is kinda his thing, so…Lyra: To put Nadia’s mind at ease
40. What do they think of Lucio so far?Rose: “He’s an asshole.”Aaron: “Goatman! Fuck you, goatman!”Lyra: “I can never look at a goat again without feeling terrified”
41. What do they think of Nadia so far?Rose: “She’s the kind of woman I strive to be. I have so much respect for her.”Aaron: “A smart, capable woman. Also really hot like wowie.”Lyra: “She’s so amazing and so beautiful and i don’t know why she likes me so much, I’m so dull compared to her and-” (this can go on for hours)
42. What do they think of Asra so far?Rose: “A great friend and mentor. I’d do anything for him.”Aaron: “He’s like…a human sheep…but really skinny…imagine hugging cotton candy filled with bones…its amazing. Also dat ass.” (He loves him but he’s bad at serious answers)Lyra: “A close friend to whom i owe my life”
43. What do they think of Julian so far?Rose: “Oh, Julian. How do i begin to describe how i feel about him? I’ve never met someone who’s so smart and witty yet so dumb? And he’d do anything for you but doesn’t think he deserves the same, even though he does. And, well, i could go on but the long and the short of it is, I love that idiot.”
Aaron: “He’s like a taller, hotter version of me AND IM SO PISSED”Lyra: “he sure is…something”
44. What do they think of Portia so far?Rose: “My future sister in law???? I love her so much! ”Aaron: “She’s…so small…my god im surrounded by small people”Lyra: “She’s so lovely!! She’s like my best friend!”
45. What do they think of Muriel so far?Rose: “He…doesn’t like to talk much does he? And he’s so…TALL. Makes you wonder about…things.”Aaron: “Him big. ”Lyra: “He…kind of scares me a bit? ”
46. Do they like animals?OF COURSE
47. Are they allergic to anything?Nope
48. Do they have any talents (except magic)?Rose: Again, she’s really good at sewing/knittingAaron: He can lick his elbow. And he shows off his “skill” to everyone. Charming i know.Lyra: She’s really good with animals
49. Do they get drunk easily?Rose: No, she can hold her liquor pretty well. She usually just gets tipsyAaron and Lyra: YES
50 .What is their personality type?*fart noises*
51. What is their worst negative quality?Rose: She tends to dodge any question that’ll make her show any negative emotion. Being with Julian is kind of helping her with that, since he needs her support and she feels okay talking about this stuff with him. Also she tends to be kind of overly sexual. She doesn’t really mean to, it just happens.Aaron: He tends to take serious things as a joke sometimes.Lyra: She likes to just, avoid people. She’d rather just be alone by her own choice than face rejection.
52. What is their best positive quality?Rose: She’s like a mom? You wouldn’t think that on the surface, but she’s actually really warm and motherly.Aaron: So fucking funny.Lyra: She has a heart of gold
53. What is their position to fall asleep?Rose: She likes to fall alseep with Julian resting his head on her chest and petting his hair. Motherly instincts, i guess. Also it’s the only surefire way of making sure he sleeps. If she’s alone, on her stomach or side with her arms under the pillow.Aaron: Starfish. Asra just has to deal with it, i guess.Lyra: Curled up with Nadia. It’s where she feels safest.
54. The most uncomfortable moment they ever experienced?Rose: (spoilers) Finding out she died. Considering death is her greatest fear, it was especially hard for her to swallowAaron: When his brother found out him and Asra were fuckin…and he found out his brother and Nadia were fuckinLyra:…..
55. Their happiest memory?Rose: When she first came to Vesuvia. It was kinda scary, but there’s SO MUCH TO SEE!!Aaron: Getting Slappy. Lyra: Finding out Nadia likes her back. She nearly fainted.
56. Do they blush?Rose: Not really, if she does its hard to tellAaron: SometimesLyra: YES
57. Are they clumsy?Nah
58. Do they like jokes? Of course, they’re people, arent they?
59. How do they flirt?Rose: VERY direct. She’s not afraid to let people know what she wants.Aaron: “Hey cookin’, what’s lookin’?”Lyra: oh god she’s so bad at it help her
60. Favorite fruit?Rose: StrawberryAaron: Orange Lyra: Kiwi
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Unusual Asks
I saw someone post this list, and decided to just answer all of them.
Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Pandora all the time.
is your room messy or clean? SO MESSY.
what color are your eyes? Brown. Or as my grandmother called them, shit brown.
do you like your name? why? Absolutely. My last name is a one-syllable English word, and has really cool pun opportunities.
what is your relationship status? Married.
describe your personality in 3 words or less Anxious, low energy
what color hair do you have? Brown.
what kind of car do you drive? color? White Prius.
where do you shop? All kinds of places?
how would you describe your style? A shitshow?
favorite social media account I have no idea. Yo, Is This Racist? maybe?
what size bed do you have? King.
any siblings? At least three half siblings (two on dad’s side, one on mom’s.) I’m told there’s a good chance there’s more on my dad’s side.
if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? I don’t like staying anywhere for long, but maybe Nice? Or back home? I’m hoping to move to move back to Africa again soon, though.
favorite snapchat filter? I have never used Snapchat in my life.
favorite makeup brand(s) No idea. I don’t wear any.
how many times a week do you shower? 6-7.
favorite tv show? Forensic Files.
shoe size? 11.5
how tall are you? 5′8″.
sandals or sneakers? Depends on the circumstances.
do you go to the gym? No.
describe your dream date When I was younger, dancing and drinks. Now? Karaoke and drinks.
how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? No idea. 10?
what color socks are you wearing? Black.
how many pillows do you sleep with? 2.
do you have a job? what do you do? Diplomat.
how many friends do you have? Too many to count.
whats the worst thing you have ever done? Worst for me? Married someone I shouldn’t have. Worst for someone else? Probably the same.
whats your favorite candle scent? I don’t know, rain?
3 favorite boy names William, David, Xavier.
3 favorite girl names Mathilde, Margaret, Rebecca.
favorite actor? Chris Evans? Not sure.
favorite actress? Gillian Anderson.
who is your celebrity crush? Nope.
favorite movie? Casablanca.
do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? Used to, still read a lot of blogs and articles. Favorite book? Good Omens.
money or brains? Brains.
do you have a nickname? what is it? It’s too close to my real name to put on here.
how many times have you been to the hospital? If you include non-emergency procedures performed at a hospital, I think 4. I might be forgetting some.
top 10 favorite songs 10 is a lot. This list would change on any given day. Let’s see: 1. Jack Frost and the Hooded Crow, Jethro Tull; 2. Parabola, Tool; 3. Color in Your Cheeks, the Mountain Goats; 4. Cult of Personality, Living Colour; 5. The Soul of Man, Blind Willie Johnson; 6. Toxic, Post-Modern Jukebox cover; 7. Long Live the Chief, Jidenna; 8. Django Jane, Janelle Monae; 8. A Tout Le Monde, Megadeth (esp. the version with Christina Scabbia); 9. Turtles All the Way Down, Sturgill Simpson; 10. Tourniquet, Evanescence.
do you take any medications daily? Oh god yes. An antidepressant at a minimum.
what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) I don’t know?
what is your biggest fear? Death.
how many kids do you want? None. too many medical issues and too stressful a job to deal with kids too.
whats your go to hair style? I woke up like this?
what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) I go back and forth. Usually small, but I do love space to entertain.
who is your role model? Chiune Sugihara: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Chiune_Sugihara
what was the last compliment you received? Someone I think complimented my dedication to my work?
what was the last text you sent? “Happy Birthday! I hope it’s gone well, and hope you are doing well.”
how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? 7
what is your dream car? For my current situation, my Prius is darn good. But it depends on where I’m living. It would have been terrible in Togo.
opinion on smoking? GROSS.
do you go to college? I did, 14 years ago...
what is your dream job? The one I have. DIPLOMAT.
would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? Ugh if those are my options? I guess suburbs.
do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No. I can’t get them on the plane anyway.
do you have freckles? No.
do you smile for pictures? Yes.
how many pictures do you have on your phone? Several hundred? Mostly for utilitarian purposes.
have you ever peed in the woods? I was a Boy Scout. So many times.
do you still watch cartoons? Sometimes? I don’t let whether something is animated or not determine whether or not I watch it.
do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? I’ve never had Wendy’s nuggets.
Favorite dipping sauce? What am I dipping? It’s highly context dependent. But I do love a good pili pili sauce.
what do you wear to bed? Shorts.
have you ever won a spelling bee? I don’t think so, but I only competed in a few.
what are your hobbies? Video games. Liqueur making. Bartending.
can you draw? God no.
do you play an instrument? I played string bass in middle school, very badly.
what was the last concert you saw? The Mountain Goats.
tea or coffee? Depends on circumstances and purpose. Am I thirsty? Tea. Am I tired? Coffee. Is it during or after a meal (tea in the first case, coffee after.) Etc., etc.
Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? Starbucks.
do you want to get married? Already am.
what is your crush’s first and last initial? That gets a bit too personal, esp. since I am married and would thus be my spouse’s info.
are you going to change your last name when you get married? I’m a dude (I realized after starting that this list assumes a woman responding), so there was no pressure on me to do so. My first wife did, assuming I wanted her to, and was mad to learn during the divorce that I’d never cared. I tried to dissuade my now wife from doing it, which she pointed out later was me mansplaining her decision to her. I’m still embarrassed by that.
what color looks best on you? Green.
do you miss anyone right now? A crapton of people. Some are far away (professional hazard), and some have passed.
do you sleep with your door open or closed? Our cats would be pissed if we locked them out, and we’d be pissed on if we locked them in away from their boxes.
do you believe in ghosts? No.
what is your biggest pet peeve? Prejudice.
last person you called` A colleague.
favorite ice cream flavor? Changes with the day, but right now I’ll cookies and cream.
regular oreos or golden oreos? Regular
chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? Blech.
what shirt are you wearing? A t-shirt from some bbq place.
what is your phone background? A lichee bush.
are you outgoing or shy? Yes.
do you like it when people play with your hair? No. Unless it’s my wife.
do you like your neighbors? Yes, they’re all really sweet!
do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? When I shower, so mostly in the morning.
have you ever been high? From prescription painkillers and anesthetics, yes. From illegal items, never.
have you ever been drunk? Oh yes. Many many times.
last thing you ate? Lamb burger.
favorite lyrics right now “Remember: We are eternal/all this pain is an illusion.”
summer or winter? Winter. Ah, winter.
day or night? Night.
dark, milk, or white chocolate? Dark. Darker, the better. Add chile, and oh god yes.
favorite month? December.
what is your zodiac sign I don’t believe in astrology anyway, but Cancer.
who was the last person you cried in front of? Either my wife or my boss.
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Of Feelings - excerpt
Find it on Amazon
"Get away, you pest! Oh, just wait until I get my hands on you, you little ingrate!" Sarah screamed at the dragon who stared at her innocently with two of its heads as it continued munching on aloe vera with the other three. Half of the leaves on the gardenia shrubs were consumed to the bare branches and Solomon had found refuge all the way up one of the pear trees, hissing like a tea kettle with all its fur standing on end.
"Don't you talk like that to my dragon! Come here, sweetie, did she hurt you?" sister Joseph came quickly to the lizard's defense.
"You were concerned what it was going to eat? It eats everything in sight, it's an unstoppable garden wrecking machine, and it's not picky either! Check out the hot pepper patch, your beast has no taste buds! I replanted the aloe vera five times already!" Sarah protested, really flustered and trying to look menacing to the lizard. The dragon watched her innocently, attempted a gurgle and blinked its eyes in series. "I swear if you weren't so cute!" Sarah thought. "Sister Joseph finally lost it! She wouldn't dream of letting the goats have free reign of the vegetable patch but she has no problem allowing mini-Godzilla here to run havoc through the land!"
"It's not like I can't hear you! You stay away from my dragon, it's infinitely more interesting than any one of you!" sister Joseph picked up the lizard who blinked at Sarah and then half-closed its yellow eyes feeling protected and content in its owner's arms; the redhead could swear she saw one of the muzzles sketch a little smirk like a reptilian Cheshire cat.
"You may swindle sister Joseph who gave into her weakness, but you don't fool me with that innocent stare, you evildoer! Stay away from my plants and leave Solomon alone!" Sarah frowned furiously at the dragon.
"Screech!" the dragon uttered cheerfully.
"You tell me if she bothers you and I'll give her a piece of my mind! And I won't be shy about it either!" Joseph coddled the creature as the rest of the sisters collectively burst in Homeric, albeit inner laughter.
Sister Joseph named the beast Josephine despite the fact they haven't figured out yet if dragons had genders (if someone were able to ascertain that fact it would have been the sister herself). Joseph didn't take this detail into consideration when she decided the dragon would be a 'she' and allowed 'her' to share her name. Nobody could argue with the sister about the behavior of her beloved pet, Josephine could do no wrong in her eyes and showed such devotion to her master that it was allowed to follow her everywhere with the exception of the Prayer Hall and that only because the sisters decided the line needed to be drawn somewhere.
A second mat was placed on the other side of the Prayer Hall door and Josephine lay there munching on veggie snacks for the duration of the service, eyeing Solomon with a couple of its heads and making the cat bristle its fur and push its ears back.
Josephine was loud, especially when discontented, and the sisters learned it was less unpleasant to accommodate her whims than to put up with the horrid noise, but otherwise she proved to be an adorable creature who gleamed through the Institute hallways in intense cobalt blue looking like she had just come down from the Gates of Ishtar.
The original idea was to keep her in one of the desert greenhouse environments but Josephine didn't take well to being confined and screeched their ears off until they let her out to the absolute delight of the children, visitors and science delegations and the chagrin of Sarah for whom protecting the crops became a full time occupation.
She remembered her daydream about petting a peacefully resting dragon who was supposed to lie cooing at her feet but nobody other than sister Joseph ever managed to touch the scratchy lizard. It turned out that dragons were really fast runners when they didn't fly and were not shy to use their five sets of teeth if annoyed. Josephine had the activity level and temper tantrums of a toddler and after putting up with the biting, clawing and deafening screeches Sarah resigned herself to admire the creature from a distance and breathed a little sigh of relief when it was quiet.
***
"Are you letting the dragon roam free? Aren't you worried it's going to attack the children?" doctor O'Shaughnessy asked, concerned. He had brought his own toddler to Terra Two and the sight of the seemingly vicious lizard ran shivers down his spine. The little boy on the other hand was absolutely enthralled with the alien creature and didn't seem to question the fact that it had five heads.
"Not at all! Josephine is the sweetest thing and completely harmless!" Sarah said with a level of conviction that seemed a little suspect. "I can't believe I have to defend the wretch after she practically destroyed my garden! What am I saying, we don't even know it's a 'she', there's a good side project for sister Joseph! She's the animal specialist, she should be able to figure that out!" her mind rummaged quietly.
Josephine stared at them turning one of its heads sideways like a chicken to get a better view. It gurgled, took a few steps forward and pecked at whatever was left of the cauliflower patch. Sarah uttered a sigh and resolved to put an invisible fence around the vegetable garden before the lizard finished it off.
"Josephine is part of the family," sister Joseph intervened, concerned that the little boy might rough handle her beloved pet, as if anything on two legs could outrun the blue lightning, especially at his age!
"Come here, sweetheart!" the sister enticed Josephine and the latter batted its wings leisurely to jump on her shoulder. "Say 'hi' to the nice people!" Joseph encouraged and Josephine uttered a random sequence of little screeches from a few of her heads.
"Who's a good dragon?" the sister asked.
"Screech-screech!" Josephine replied, fluffing the frills around her heads.
"Shiver me timbers! Now the only things she's missing are an eye patch and a peg leg!" Sarah thought.
"I'm not missing them at all," sister Joseph frowned at the latter, to the confusion of the visitor who wasn't wearing an interlink bracelet. "Would you care for a tour of the Institute, doctor?" she graciously asked the guest, then left with Josephine, the doctor and his son. The lizard's tail swayed gently in the breeze while a dozen of her eyes looked back reproachfully at Sarah. Sarah got annoyed that the dragon stole her thunder and was now conducting the tours but slightly relieved that she got an hour to herself to tinker with recipes in the apothecary.
No such luck, though, because when she arrived at the shop she found Gemma running a large experiment that required virtually all the glassware and equipment. The teenager smiled apologetically when she saw Sarah come in.
"I'm making something for Jimmy and Jenna, they must miss home!" she said.
"And home surely misses them," Sarah thought, taking a moment to remember that Jimmy and Jenna were not children anymore. "What are you making?" she asked curiously.
"A globe shaped terrarium with miniature Terra Two plants," she said. "It's completely self-sufficient, it should be able to keep itself in balance indefinitely."
"Oh, I see you even included Purple, they'll be pleased to send a delegation!" Sarah smiled. In the middle of the Lilliputian landscape a minute graft of the bean plant flourished, half green, half purple, just like the original. "What's with all the dirty glassware?" she asked, puzzled.
"Soil, air and water testing, the chemical balance has to be perfect," Gemma said, and that's when Sarah noticed that the miniature planet had rivulets and lakes and tides in its oceans, and up in its atmosphere fluffy clouds gathered, releasing sudden showers over the toy sized rain forest.
"What, no cats?" the redhead joked. "You know, there are a lot of visiting horticulturists in the Institute right now, maybe it would be a good idea to show them a presentation of your project before you send it to Soléa, I don't think anybody ever made something like this before."
***
With all the back and forth between Terra Two and Soléa the solenoid attained the well worn look of an old favorite sweater that gets softer and more comfortable after many washes.
Restless parents found every reason imaginable to slide through time back and forth with warm clothing, fresh baked pies or favorite and woefully unavailable fruit.
Lily and her exploration team were past the eye-roll age, even though not by much, and wore down the device just as much from the other end, coming back often to Terra Two to grab the music they forgot to pack, their sculpting tools, their scuba gear.
Because the dragons were quite friendly, though not trustful enough for contact, some of Sarah's kids made regular trips home to bring them delightful succulent treats from their planet, so different from the dragons' scraggly diet and so flavorful in comparison. Despite Lily's impossible to enforce ban on bringing alien food to upset their regular fare, Jimmy snuck back to Terra Two on a regular basis to bring fresh vegetables he pretended to eat himself, so many that he had to print a couple of extra refrigerators to store the kale and lettuce the blue lizards liked so much.
Their accommodations were modest to say the least because it was decided Soléa's environment was too pristine to be developed and it was to be disturbed as little as possible. The children had never seen a wilderness like this, born as they were in a world made by hand, a place designed from the bare ground and filled with plants and animals brought from Earth. Soléa was rugged and cold like the top of the mountains, worn by winds and overwhelmed by the vastness of its deep blue sky.
Its vegetation was low and cast almost no shadows on the archaic rock formations and its topography looked frozen in time shortly after the ground hardened, harsh like it had just emerged from the bowels of its molten core and showing strangely little wear for a planet haunted by the winds. Everything had a blue hue on Soléa, mostly because of the refraction in its thick atmosphere, but not entirely so. There was blue and azure in the rocks themselves from the aluminum salt deposits, and the peculiar prismatic structure of the dragons' skins only let out the color of the sky.
Here and there in long dried river beds the water had carved and polished the soluble rocks into giant sculptural masterpieces, round, hollow and twisted like frozen waves, with stunningly beautiful grain hugging their curves. Far in the distance tall limestone needles glowed violet against the horizon like a stone forest.
The scarce vegetation rarely covered the ground and their team carved no paths through the bristle, they just walked around it following the tracks of the dragons to the best watering holes, the thickest clumps of Oma trees or the soft sandy shores of the mirror lakes where the blue residents of the planet built their nests undisturbed.
Flocks of dragons flew majestically overhead watching the newcomers with tolerant dignity almost as if they wanted to guide them on their way and show them their beautiful world. Everything seemed quieter in the blue land, everything but the calls of the dragons and the song of the wind.
The children of Terra Two unconsciously softened their unrestrained vigor and assumed the reverence one finds in the depths of a cathedral as the blinding radiance of the sun descended upon them through the thick sky and wrapped their shoulders in light like in a blanket.
The unrelenting brightness of the solitary sun didn't feel that unusual to the sisters, who had grown up on Earth, but it felt very intimidating to the tanned and care free children of the tropical forest born to warmth and rain and they missed the rosy chocolate skies and the gentle gems of their two suns like one misses the roof over their head when one has to sleep under the open sky.
Soléa's sky made them restless and overwhelmed them with its vastness like an unknown depth of a sea and sometimes when they were almost asleep they were jolted awake by the feeling of falling in it.
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Ferdinand Review (Spoilers)
Blue Sky’s tenth film adapts the 1930’s children’s book about a pacifist bull who is forced to be in a bullfight in Spain. The story wasn’t long at all, it takes about 20 minutes to tell the whole thing, which of course means the scriptwriters had to pad it out to 90 minutes with new characters, scenes, and details, and that is very hard to make all that match the quality of the source material without ruining it. Ferdinand … pulls that task off well enough. The producers started by reviewing and analyzing the story and interviewing people from Spain of what they thought the message of it was, and I think that very much helped the film have this air of dignity to it, that it really wanted to be Oscar-worthy, as opposed to Blue Sky’s previous films tried way too hard to be awesome and keep the kids attentive instead. Ultimately they went with the moral “you can be anything you want” which is overdone in animated films, but it remains faithful to the story. The film sets up a very dark world where bulls are pressured into being tough, manly athletes who only exist to fight. Ferdinand is constantly put through uncomfortable situations like a family death, getting violent with a teammate who loathes him, almost getting slaughtered, and finally himself fighting in a ring. I really enjoyed the tension it has. The film has 3 or 4 songs, a few which are performed by Nick Jonas, that give it a very homey, comforting feeling that reflects Ferdinand’s relaxed lifestyle.
Ferdinand adopts the humble, low-key tone of The Peanuts Movie, despite the wacky character antics and filler-ish scenes still being there that all of Blue Sky’s films suffer from. It results in long scenes of Ferdinand hanging out at his ranch and meeting wholly original new characters, some that quickly become his friends like Lupe the calming goat that boasts about being his new coach, even more that are tough as nails and can’t warm up to him immediately like Valiente and Angus, and silly sidekicks that really have no place being there like the WTF-funny Swedish horses, or the trio of hedgehogs who help Ferdinand escape in one scene and for some reason keep appearing. There’s a sheepdog who fits the role of the doubter who reminds the lead character how the world won’t listen to him. There’s even an animal dance-off in the middle. Viewers may find themselves getting antsy waiting for the goddamn actual bullfight to arrive at the climax already, but the pay-off is worth it. The bulls Bones, Valiant and Angus in particular have great character development thanks to Ferdinand’s good deeds.
The cartoony animal character animation is some of the absolute best Blue Sky has ever done, with Ferdinand, Lupe, Bones, Maquina, the horses, the hedgehogs, and El Primero being highlights. There is the same wacky Looney Tunes exaggerations, comic timing, and excellent use of character silhouettes, but that is well-balanced by nuanced drama. Sadly, save for El Primero, the human characters’ animation is uninspired. They look like the models you use in Animation Mentor. I didn’t much care for the girl that takes in Ferdinand as her pet, I don’t even remember her name, or her dad’s name, they were really the only time I felt like the movie was forcing kiddy melodrama. Lupe can be annoying to people in a Donkey-ish way and it gets a tiny bit disturbing when she uses double-entendres around Ferdinand, but I wasn’t bothered by her, she’s my favorite character. There is a moment where one of the bulls, Guapo, is sent to the slaughterhouse, but Ferdinand breaks in and saves him like 15 minutes later, which did annoy me. I know it was to uphold his views and how he wins in the end, but from a writer standpoint, if a film shows a good guy on his way to being turned into Guapo-mole, he should stay that way.
Oh and David Tennants’ in it.
Ferdinand is not excellent, but I am glad that Blue Sky finally has another honest, humble movie that isn’t The Peanuts Movie, and doesn’t seem to exist only for comedy, with excellent animation and bold visuals. Sadly, 20th Century Fox decided to release it on the same day as Star Wars Episode VIII: The Last Jedi, which resulted in it earning only $13 million in its opening weekend, the lowest of any Blue Sky film. So if you already saw The Last Jedi and have free time, see this one soon before it’s inevitably dropped from theaters.
7/10
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You have to do them all sorry I don’t make the rules
This about to be so long! But thank you! This kept me busy while at work! I didn’t include questions I answered already so scroll down a couple posts on my blog to see those.
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender?
Male, he/him
Amaryllis: Birthday?
July 18!
Angelonia: Favorite TV show?
The Office will always be a classic
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes?
“If you come to a fork in the road, take it.” I was always very indecisive until I heard this and it just made a lot of sense to me. Along the same line, “Take it easy, but take it.”
Aubrieta: Favorite drink?
Water! But my favorite special drink is probably hot chocolate in winter and lemonade in the summer
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?
I shouldn’t! (I don’t think I could)
Baneberries: Favorite song?
Literally changes every hour but The Good Side by Troye Sivan has been up there for a while. Iscariot is stuck in my head at the moment. Boy Meets Evil gets an honorable mention. This question is too hard
Basket of Gold: Describe your family.
I have my mom who’s a teacher, my brother Scott who’s 20 (21 in a few weeks!) and studying applied math, my sister Amanda who’s 18 and studying animation! I also have a (beautiful) dog Lexie who is 10 and practicing vigilance. I also have a whole extended family that I love and who support me and a bunch of compassionate friends who I want to give the world to
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it?
I have many! Amanda, Lio and Alex, and Annie and Gabe :) And Lexie!
Begonia: Favorite color?
Yellow probably! The pale kind!
Bellflower: Favorite animal?
Literally any animal, but especially dogs and cats and squirrels and guinea pigs!
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person?
I think I’m going to be a morning person but I love staying up late & in college, everyone kind of has to be a night person
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be?
What happens to the animal when I become it?? If I become an animal does that animal then become me? Who’s going to my classes? Do I have work? Do people still know I’m me? Can I talk? What about to other animals? Am I still in Ann Arbor? I have a lot of questions
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children?
I like kids! I really am excited to be a parent! My number one priority in life is to be a good one
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood.
Uhh I remember none of it!
Buttercup: Relationship Status?
I’m not dating anyone right now
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go?
I think it’d be cool to leave the country! But I haven’t really travelled much so I still think going anywhere is exciting !
Canna: Do you have any tattoos?
Nope!
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings?
Nope!
California Poppy: Height?
5’5
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts?
I don’t know! I think it’s a bit silly to say no because I don’t have any evidence that they /don’t/ but I don’t that they do either. The world is weird. I’d like to be a ghost for a bit so I hope they do!
Carnation: What are you currently wearing?
Boots and jeans and a red t-shirt (I realize I wear this most Thursdays)
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight?
Yeah!
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged?
My friend Kelsey
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed?
An ex
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font?
Hind
Columbine: Are you tired?
A little, yeah. I haven’t slept much these past few days & I think it’s time for a good night’s sleep
Coneflower: Dream job?
I recently am thinking I’d like to teach some college nursing courses one day but I’m not sure! I’d love to get my MSN or DNP and practice as an NP
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert?
A little bit of both. Almost an extrovert
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about?
This is hard. I would do almost anything for someone I care about. I don’t think I would let someone abuse me mentally, physically, or emotionally, but also I would save someone I really cared about over myself if it came down to it. Does that make sense? I think it matters that they also care about me and that what I do for others is out of mutual respect and love not manipulation or abuse.
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it?
I did! Her name is Rabby and she is a rabbit. She was initially my brother’s but he wasn’t interested so I got her when I was born. I also had Baby Blue and he is a very small blue bunny & Rabby’s adopted son.
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign?
Cancer
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering?
Depends who you ask, but I think so!
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment?
Becoming a kinder person
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to?
Amanda, I think!
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at?
I’m generally a good student! I have a good work ethic
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at?
Typing :( I failed fifth grade typing, so I still use the two-finger method. Also I’m not good at dancing but I’d love to be!
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month?
I had a really great spring break with Alex and Lio!!
I went to the Arb with Alex the other day and saw a bunch of deer right up close!
I’ve learned more about myself!
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today?
Honestly I’ve been feeling pretty anxious today but I did get lunch with Lio and it’s a pretty chill day at work so it hasn’t been too bad!
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life?
Yes. I appreciate where I’m at and how far I’ve come and I’m unbelievably proud of that, but I also have so much more to improve upon and grow with so I’m excited for the future as well.
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two?
I’m uhh considering coming out to my nursing friends as gay. We’ll see what happens
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed?
Music. If my thoughts are very loud then I turn up the music really loud and it drowns them out enough to calm down. If I’m anxious, very quiet music helps. The more anxious I feel, the quieter the music. I don’t know why it works but it does. (Note to include here is that what doesn’t help is touch!)
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of?
Actively working towards bettering myself and my life (still and always working more, but that doesn’t negate the progress already made)
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day.
I just love spending time with people I care about. It’d probably involve staying up late up to antics or chatting and cooking (and eating) some good food and not anything extravagant. Ideally there’d be pets involved too.
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time?
Usually I like to just take time for myself. Self care, working out, meditation, Netflix, reading, or practicing the things I’d like to learn (recently, this has been handstands). I think it’s good to enjoy spending time with myself!
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them?
Like I said, I have many! I’ve known Amanda for my whole life. We got Lexie when I was almost 9. I met Gabe in seventh grade, Annie in sophomore year (but we didn’t become really good friends until senior year!) and I met Lio and Alex September last year when I moved to AA!
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything?
Amanda
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have?
A lot! I probably have like 15 close friends but I couldn’t really sit down and list everyone
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received?
I don’t know! It’s nice when people believe I’m kind or cool!
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself?
I think I’m a pretty kind and genuine person. I tend to be optimistic and I like that because it took a lot of CBT to get to this point. I do think I’m smart but I also feel that a lot of that comes from work rather than natural kind of ability. I’m also becoming more assertive which is a big deal for me and makes me feel more confident! I think most of the time I look good but I want to work towards being more physically fit and feeling like I look cool because I’m not a big fan of the clothes and things I wear right now. Other than that, I think I come off as a good person and people tend to trust me and depend on me which I appreciate.
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself?
I tend to be a pretty open-minded person and I like that I try to empathize with and understand other’s positions and adapt to them
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself?
I don’t think I’m very fun, especially around people I don’t know very well
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child?
My siblings and I would spend a lot of time playing the colony game which I loved! It’s a simulation game we made up and as we grew it got more and more complex which was awesome
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid?
I had a few! Mallory, Lindsey, Kirsten, Summer!
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for?
Just every inconsiderate thing I’ve ever said or done
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about?
Being trans/gay
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name?
Charles means masculine! My mom just liked I guess and it’s also a little bit of a family name! Fun fact though I really love that my mom picked my name
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it.
I grew up in the house I live in now! It was always very cozy. The house is really a communal space 100% so I never felt like I couldn’t be anywhere growing up which is so good and it also has a nice backyard and we had a trampoline which was my favorite thing!! I would spend all day out there just being a kid and it was incredible
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up?
Sparse! We didn’t have many toys besides a couple stuffed animals each but my (and Amanda’s) room had a bunk bed, two dressers, and a bookshelf
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years?
From what I can remember, I was going through it from about age 10-16. When I started junior year, I ended a toxic relationship and started going to therapy a lot more and it’s only gone up since then!
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom.
She’s a fifth grade teacher and you’d know that as soon as you meet her! She talks a lot and is very excitable but I love that because for a long time she’s been mentally and emotionally not doing great. It wasn’t easy growing up with her the way she was but now we are both in such better places and I feel closer to her than ever. It’s a work in progress. She is big into physical contact in a way that I’m not comfortable with but that really allowed me to practice being assertive and setting boundaries in a healthy but kind way which has been good for me. She really loves me and my siblings and most people with her whole heart. I love her a lot even though we’re very different people.
Onions: Tell us about your dad.
Oof. I don’t have much to say about him I guess.
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents.
They’re awesome!! Pop can be a lot sometimes but we all know it and he’s working on it. They both have such compassion and my grandma is the most graceful person in the world (she’d never let me say that about her if she could hear it but she really is incredible.) Pop is the person who pushes me the most academically but I know he is looking out for me and sometimes he softens up for a sec and goes on about how proud he is and I could cry every time. Both of them give the best hugs. I love them a lot and I’m so grateful they’re in my life.
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable?
I’m not sure what year it was—I think 14—but my sister had a softball tournament in Wisconsin that week so we were staying in a Wisconsin Dells hotel and it was very hot and I didn’t really want to be at the game. Then, the other team didn’t show up!! So we went back to the hotel and we spent the day at the waterpark and it was so fun and already a great day and then when we came up to the room, my mom pulled out a gift for us that I had no idea she had snuck along and it was just the nicest surprise of a day I’ve ever had :’-)
Peony: What was your first job?
Babysitting! But I guess the first proper job I had was as a janitor
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any?
At school!
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain?
I think I have a pretty high physical pain tolerance. Most of it is a mental game for me
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change?
I don’t know! I’m a strong believer in the butterfly effect so probably nothing (@alex this is a Jin move) but if everything else would be the same, I’d start focusing on recovering/therapy earlier and transition immediately
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them.
I look up to so many people but I haven’t talked enough about my brother yet so. He’s so cool! I always admired him for being smart and creative (he would make up the most fun games when we were kids!!) but he’s also super charismatic and likable and he’s great in social situations! And still overall, he’s a kind and reliable and caring person. I love talking to him about philosophy and things because he’s super passionate about it and he thinks through things thoroughly and in a way I never thought about before. We’ve grown so much closer in the past few years and I love that.
Primrose: Describe your ideal life.
I just want to be happy and make the people around me happy!
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child?
Santa!
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life?
Amanda
Rose: What’s your favorite sound?
Rain outside when I’m inside and it’s just a little chilly
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory?
I have so many great memories and I can’t pick just one!! I have nice memories of my family spending winter weekends all in pjs and sitting in our family room reading with fire in the fireplace and those are very nice! I also have a lot of great memories at the Culver’s by my house bc that was the high school place to hang out and it was always a fun, chill time :)
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory?
The most loaded question?? I have some bad memories from being a kid but I’m not going to talk about them in a Tumblr response
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things?
Usually kind of difficult if it’s got to with emotional things because I’m still working on distinguishing which emotions are which so articulating that can be a challenge when I’m already not feeling good
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without?
Lexie :(
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night?
5-6 hours
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning?
I try to get excited for something happening that day! I also will make time for meditation or something if I’m anticipating a rough day
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job?
I like it a lot! I work in the nursing clinical simulation lab and I’m learning a lot and it’s exciting to be getting the chance to practice stuff before doing it for class
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic.
I’m into the pastel inspirational quotes and things because they make me feel very calm. I’m also a big fan of things with symbols and stuff
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called?
I think the last non-textbook I read was The Stranger over winter break! It was really good!
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year?
I want to be applying for CNA summer jobs and spending time with my best friends and feeling accomplished about being halfway through nursing school!!!
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is?
I think so but I don’t want to
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself.
One day I drank like 150 oz of water in 3 hours and got very sick
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1-150 ;)
This is so overdue BUT here u go❤️1:Name- Katerina 2:Age- 173:3 Fears- praying mantises4:3 things I love- my girlfriend, my friends, my dogs, eating, music5:4 turn ons- chewing on random things, confidence, good sense of style 6:4 turn offs- being mean to your parents or pets, chewing with your mouth open, bad body odor7:My best friend- my friend Nichole, my girlfriend @flowercoasts, and my bff @plumppeachprincess8:Sexual orientation- gay maybe bi9:My best first date- never had a real date10:How tall am I?- 5'8"11:What/Who do I miss?- my dad and sisters that live in another state 12:What time was I born?- I think around 4 pm13:Favourite color- mint green and purple 14:Do I have a crush?- yeah this girl I'm dating is pretty cool I guess15:Favourite quote- "if a man has no sauce than he is lost, but the same man can become lost in the sauce."16:Favourite place- golf courses at night??? Don't ask me why they have good vibes 17:Favourite food- any and all seafood, and fried rice 18:Do I use sarcasm?- sometimes 19:What am I listening to right now?- this probably means what song I'm into but all I can think about is the loud ass lawnmower outside my house20:First thing I notice in a new person- their sense of humor21:Shoe size- 8 1/222:Eye color- brown23:Hair color- brown 24:Favourite style of clothing- I really only wear flannels and tank tops 25:Ever done a prank call?- yeah.... I'm sorry Pizza Hut...they didn't have goat cheese and bean sprout...27:Meaning behind my URL- I play a lot of roadhog 28:Favourite movie- spirit: stallion of the cimmaron29:Favourite song- right now it's either daydreamin' by Ariana grande or love on the brain by Rihanna 30:Favourite band- is Cher Lloyd a band 31:How I feel right now- tired but content 32:Someone I love- my good and wonderful girlfriend 33:My current relationship status- taken34:My relationship with my parents- my mom is one of my best friends35:Favourite holiday- thanksgiving I love to EAT36:Tattoos and piercings i have- none37:Tattoos and piercings i want- I want to re-pierce my nose and probably get a partial sleeve on one arm. and a shoulder tattoo38:The reason I joined Tumblr- I saw something funny on my friends account 39:Do I and my last ex hate each other?- no40:Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?- yeah 😊41:Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?- unfortunately not 😞42:When did I last hold hands?- like 2 hours ago with one of my friends43:How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?- 35 minutes 44:Have you shaved your legs in the past three days?- nope45:Where am I right now?- in my bed46:If I were drunk and can’t stand, who’s taking care of me?- probably my friend Nichole 47:Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?- reasonable or else I get Noxious Stimuli™48:Do I live with my Mom and Dad?- yeah 49:Am I excited for anything?- to go see my girlfriend in a few weeks 😄😄50:Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?- no51:How often do I wear a fake smile?- probably never if I'm unhappy I'll look as mad as I can 52:When was the last time I hugged someone?- today while my friend was hugging her boyfriend and I was like "I gotta get in on this here I come"53:What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?- that's fine 54:Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?- not that I'm aware of 55:What is something I disliked about today?- some kid was spinning his fidget spinner on his desk and it was loud and annoying and I was feeling ...rather hostile...56:If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?- Zoe Saldana 57:What do I think about most?- my girlfriend... every god damn second of the day 58:What’s my strangest talent?- I can pick lots of things up with my feet and make various weird noises59:Do I have any strange phobias?- no60:Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?- behind I like to record and take pictures of things 61:What was the last lie I told?- "I'm not gay mom" 62:Do I perfer talking on the phone or video chatting online?- video chatting 63:Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?- maybe and yes 64:Do I believe in magic?- maybe???? I really don't think about it 65:Do I believe in luck?- not really???? This is making me have a CRISIS 66:What’s the weather like right now?- well it's 103 degrees and I'm in the middle of the desert so yeah I love it67:What was the last book I’ve read?- secret life of bees by sue monk kidd68:Do I like the smell of gasoline?- jesus no it's my worst enemy 69:Do I have any nicknames?- Katie I guess??? Everyone calls me that instead of Katerina 70:What was the worst injury I’ve ever had?- broke my skull on a tennis court 71:Do I spend money or save it?- spend it....72:Can I touch my nose with a tongue?- no 73:Is there anything pink within 10 ft from me?- yeah some colored ping pong balls im not sure why though 74:Favourite animal?- crocodiles and squid 75:What was I doing last night at 12 AM?- FaceTiming 76:What do I think is Satan’s last name is?- Peterson 77:What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?- Temperature by Sean Paul 78:How can you win my heart?- by being @flowercoasts79:What would I want to be written on my tombstone?- bye bitch80:What is my favorite word?- snatched 81:My top 5 blogs on tumblr- I don't know probably porn blogs 82:If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?- butthole83:Do I have any relatives in jail?- yeah 84:What superpower would I have?- shapeshifting is by far my favorite 85:What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on?- 86:What is my current desktop picture?- a picture of tracer with crying Michael Jordan's face photoshopped onto it87:Had sex?- yeah88:Bought condoms?- yeah but not for myself 89:Gotten pregnant?- no90:Failed a class?- no91:Kissed a boy?- yeah92:Kissed a girl?- yeah93:Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?- no94:Had job?- yeah95:Left the house without my wallet?- yeah96:Bullied someone on the internet?- I once told this girl on facebook that I was gonna eat her babies in like 7th grade97:Had sex in public?- .....kind of????98:Played on a sports team?- yeah football and softball99:Smoked weed?- yeah100:Did drugs?- no101:Smoked cigarettes?- no102:Drank alcohol?- yeah103:Am I a vegetarian/vegan?- no but I was for like 3 months a few years ago lmao104:Been overweight?- I'm really heavy but I wouldn't say I was overweight??? 105:Been underweight?- nopeeeee 106:Been to a wedding?- yeah my moms and I had to dance with my new weird step dad 107:Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?- oh yes108:Watched TV for 5 hours straight?- Oh Yes109:Been outside my home country?- no110:Gotten my heart broken?- no111:Been to a professional sports game?- yeah I've been to a baseball game it was terrible 112:Broken a bone?- yeah like 12113:Cut myself?- not on purpose 114:Been to prom?- yeah115:Been in airplane?- yeah116:Fly by helicopter?- yeah 117:What concerts have I been to?- none118:Had a crush on someone of the same sex?- yeah for my entire LIFE119:Learned another language?- kinda 120:Wore make up?- yeah 121:Lost my virginity before I was 18?- yeah122:Had oral sex?-yeah god damn these are really gettin into DETAIL123:Dyed my hair?- no124:Voted in a presidential election?- no125:Rode in an ambulance?- yeah126:Had a surgery?- no 127:Met someone famous?- I meet god in my dreams 128:Stalked someone on a social network?- not really129:Peed outside?- all the time 130:Been fishing?- yeah I'm not a fan 131:Helped with charity?- yeah132:Been rejected by a crush?- yeah133:Broken a mirror?- yeah I slammed into that bitch134:What do I want for birthday?- to go to my girlfriends house 135:How many kids do I want and what will be their names?- one and Alexandria 136:Was I named after anyone?- yeah my great grandma 137:Do I like my handwriting?- I don't really care but I know it's super bad 138:What was my favourite toy as a child?- Kim possible and avatar the last air bender139:Favourite Tv Show?- I haven't watched any recently but it's probably the legend of korra 140:Where do I want to live when older?- in Las Vegas or somewhere in California 141:Play any musical instrument?- guitar 142:One of my scars, how did I get it?- cut my elbow open on a random glass shard in my bathtub while I was drunk143:Favourite pizza toping?- pineapple and ham😎144:Am I afraid of the dark?- no I love it 145:Am I afraid of heights?- not really I'm pretty good with being in high places 146:Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?- got caught by my mom coming home with McDonalds at 2 am and she was like ....you didn't even get me anything 147:Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?- every time I take a math test148:What I’m really bad at- showing someone I really like them without being weird. 149:What my greatest achievements are- uhhhh getting best lineman in football, my ACT score, Gettin a smokin' gf150:What I’d do if I won the lottery- buy houses for all my friends. I'm talking the whole street and we're all gonna be neighbors. Buy my mom a house in the Bahamas
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07-16-2017 Rudy Birthday 2017 (part 1) Out of the 365 days we have to choose from this one has become one of my very favorites. This was the fourth year I would be taking Rudy out for her birthday and I have to admit planning things are getting harder and harder 😅 I was thinking of a few different ideas but ended up going with the zoo. We went there before but it was rainy so I wanted to go on a nice sunny day, hoping to see more animals. We meet up and caught septa there, while on the train I decided to give her the first gift of the day. I bought her a card, something I don't think I've done before. I also wrote in it but everything I wanted to say wasn't able to fit so I let her ready it from my phone. I wonder what she thought about what I wrote? The card had cool magnets on it, I wonder if she put those up? I meant every word I wrote to her and I feel extremely lucky to have her in my life. She's the best. After the sub we had to catch a bus so while on that I gave her the second gift of the day, the last of the small gifts, it was a DVD she really wanted about a kids parents being killed. She's so odd, but that's what I love about her. She said she really enjoyed the movie and her reaction when she opened it was so cute. I like doing stuff like this. This one dude on the bus checked Rudy out so hard when she walked by, to the point I wanted to say something. I'm not the dude who really cares about that, but relax. We got to the zoo and we walked right on by that long line because your boy thought ahead! Why am I so good at planning this stuff but always forgetting everything else for the other 364 days? Anyway, we immediately started our tour and it was so much fun. Our Snapchat was the bomb that day lol. So many cool animals, like my favorite red panda. But the hit of the day was again the petting zoo. We love those goats and sheep. I was jealous because some adorable goat dude kept pushing up on Kayla. Was following that girl everywhere trying to play it off. She is spoken for goat! After the zoo we went to go ride in the hot air balloon but the line was sooo long. Like an hour wait long. The balloon was one of the main reasons I wanted to go, but we had a bunch of stuff we still had to do. Stuff like visit Kayla cousin, Shalonda. She was fronting on us that day though. We also saw coldilocks and that peacock who was messing with the 🐻. We saw almost all the animals and had to leave because we were both starving at this point. We went downtown because Kayla has been wanting to go to Marathon Grill for such a long time. I have also wanted to go so it was about time. This place did not disappoint. The waitress was nice, even though Rudy was rude to her. I know it wasn't on purpose though. She asked us if we wanted drinks and I didn't want one...but Kayla did. But since I didn't want one she didn't want to order one...so bratty. I got tired of going back and forth with her so I just ordered her a drink. It was a pomegranate margarita that was really strong. I think she liked it though. I had a grapefruit Collins. A twist on my favorite drink and it was so good. If I saw that in the beginning I would have def ordered it. Want to go back for it actually. 😋 Okay so there weren't a lot of options to choose from but what they lack in quantity they make up for in quality! I had the Marathon burger which was a cheeseburger with bacon and some sauce. It was delicious. The only thing Kayla could eat was the salmon burger and that looked incredible too. They both came with fries which was great because they were tasty and I don't think I would want to share them lol. We didn't get dessert because we walked by a Rita's and made plans to get water ice after for dessert. We have to go back and get dessert next time. I really liked that place and our table. So our plans for Rita's hit a snag because we both forgot where it was lol 😅. But luck for us Insomnia Cookie's is right across the street! We walked there and got ice cream sandwiches. Well she did and I got a Brownie with ice cream. It was sooo bomb. Kayla got cookie dough with sugar cookies? Her mind is one of a kind. The girl who made the sandwich for her had to be confused. We stood there and ate while we took more pics for Snapchat and IG. But again, I had more in store for us. We went to lush to get Rudy (and me) some cool stuff. Rudy got a bubble bar and a bath bomb that I'm still anxious to see. I got two bathbombs and a sample of beard wash. It's really nice. My bath bombs were so amazing. Unfortunately I used them both. My favorite was definitely intergalactic, I have to buy that again. After lush Rudy and I went to Blick. I told her we were going to the bowling alley. Trick her! We got there just as it was closing, which was my fear, but we managed to grab some paint and some paint things. She still had no idea about her finally 3 gifts. Well two of them, she knew about the one. So we got the paint stuff and I used my Blick card which I think surprised Kayla that I had. We came back to my house and I made her go directly to my room after she spoke to everyone. I had to set up her big bday gifts! It was hot as hell downstairs so I worked up a sweat putting this big gift together lol. Luckily I had practiced putting it together a few weeks before so I would understand how it worked. I put it together and called her downstairs. I made her come down the steps with her eyes closed lol. So dangerous. So after I set her up on the couch I let her open her eyes to see her gifts. I got her a super cool painting easel. A bunch of canvases and a giant hello Kitty in a bunny outfit. She was totally shocked by this easel and it made me so happy to see her reaction. She isn't great or even good with emotions and even worse with words but I know this woman pretty well so I knew how much she loved it. I think this topped the record player. I believe in this woman so much and I need her to paint more. She's too special and talented to not take this more serious. After I gave her those we came up to my room and hung out. I absolutely love hanging and growing and laughing with her. No one is more special. Don't think anyone ever will be. Even though I had to force her to call her dad for a ride. She's so stubborn it kills me. I wish I had a pic of the easel to post here, but... Anyway, this was just the Saturday before her bday. Her actual bday post will be posted soon..
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103 questions
Alisons: Sexuality? ollie
Amaranth: Pronouns/Gender? she/her, female
Amaryllis: Birthday? december 28
Anemone: Favorite flower? snapdragons
Angelonia: Favorite t.v. show? i have a lot right now but it’ll probably always be supernatural
Arum-Lily: What’s the farthest you’d go for a stranger? like 2 hours
Aster: What’s one of your favorite quotes? i love quotes but i don’t really have a favorite
Aubrieta: Favorite drink? arizona green tea
Baby’s Breath: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? n/a i’ve never kissed anyone
Balsam Fir: Have you ever been in love? currently 😌
Baneberries: Favorite song? my blood (tøp)
Basket of Gold: Describe your family. complicated
Beebalm: Do you have a best friend? Who is it? i have two: ollie and jonathan
Begonia: Favorite color? black or red
Bellflower: Favorite animal? sloth
Bergenia: Are you a morning or night person? both
Black-Eyed Susan: If you could be any animal for a day, what would it be? a sloth
Bloodroots: When you were a kid, what did you want to be when you grew up? a vet
Bluemink: What are your thoughts on children? love them but like? also hate them but i feel like it’s way different when it’s yours and you know how to raise them does that make sense
Blazing Stars: What are you afraid of? Is there a reason why? losing people, bad storms, the uncontrollable
Borage: Give a random fact about your childhood. i ate cat food once
Bugleherb: How would you spend your last day on Earth? i’d fly to ohio and kiss ollie
Buttercup: Relationship Status? basically taken
Camelia: If you could visit anywhere, where would you want to go? that cat cafe in japan
Candytufts: When do you feel most loved? talking to ollie
Canna: Do you have any tattoos? not yet (devastating, i know)
Canterbury Bells: Do you have any piercings? two on each ear
California Poppy: Height? five one
Cardinal Flower: Do you believe in ghosts? yes
Carnation: What are you currently wearing? black tshirt, jean shorts (what a rare sighting)
Catnip: Have you ever slept with a nightlight? yes
Chives: Who was the last person you hugged? jonathan
Chrysanthemum: Who’s the last person you kissed? my cat
Cock’s Comb: Favorite font? haven’t used fonts in a while but i’m pretty sure it’s georgia
Columbine: Are you tired? permanently
Common Boneset: What are you looking forward to? right now, getting my income tax
Coneflower: Dream job? vet tech but who knows i might change my mind in a couple days (although i’m pretty sure this time)
Crane’s-Bill: Introvert or extrovert? introvert
Crocus: Have you ever been in love? you already asked this, dumbass
Crown Imperial: What’s the farthest you would go for someone you care about? hours
Cyclamen: Did you have a favorite stuffed animal as a child? What was it? this bunny from build a bear, i named her swirly cuz she has almost like a rosette pattern on her fur, i still have her
Daffodil: What’s your zodiac sign? capricorn
Dahlia: Have you done anything worth remembering? no
Daisy: What do you feel is your greatest accomplishment? surviving up til now
Daylily: What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner(s)? uh sorry bout that
Dendrobium: Who is the last person that you said “I love you” to? ollie
False Goat’s Beard: What is something you are good at? gaming i guess
Foxgloves: What’s something you’re bad at? literally everything
Freesia: What are three good things that have happened in the past month? 1- ive lost 5 pounds this month 2- ollie makes me really soft and i’m just super in love with her 3- i bought some new clothes and they’re two sizes down so it makes me really happy to wear them
Garden Cosmos: How was your day today? it’s actually been great
Gardenia: Are you happy with where you’re at in your life? not really but i’m working on it
Gladiolus: What is something you hope to do in the next year or two? hopefully get my ged, start working on college or some kind of second education like that, and maybe meet ollie cuz i don’t wanna wait any longer >:(
Glory-of-the-Snow: What are ten things that make you happy/you’re grateful to have in your life? ollie, my mom, my gamecube, my cats, my bee necklace, my tahitian bracelet, fall out boy, twenty one pilots, my ipad, and my pillow
Heliotropium: What helps you calm down when you feel stressed? ollie (i know she’s been in like 30 of these answers but it’s the truth), sometimes just breathing and sitting on the floor, doing my hair
Hellebore: How do you show affection? idk i’m really bad at it but i try? i usually remind them like a hundred times a day that i love them, check up on them, buy them stuff (only if i REALLY love them though)
Hoary Stock: What are you proudest of? i defeated the shadow queen at age 6 >:)
Hollyhock: Describe your ideal day. sounds lazy but literally watching tv with a cozy blanket
Hyacinth: What do you like to do in your free time? video games
Hydrangea: How long have you known your best friend? How did you meet them? ollie: through instagram, five months. jonathan: middle school, six years
Irises: Who can you talk to about (almost) everything? y’all already know.
Laceleaf: How many friends do you have? i wanna say four friends but there’s other acquaintances that i’m close to
Lantanas: What’s the best compliment you’ve ever received? ollie called me pretty once or like twelve times
Larkspur: What do you think of yourself? disgusting. don’t talk to me about that thing.
Lavender: What’s your favorite thing about yourself? uh i can bake a mad chocolate chip cookie
Leather Flower: What’s your least favorite thing about yourself? myself
Lilac: What’s something you liked to do as a child? i liked littlest pet shop and eating breakfast idk
Lily: Who was your best friend when you were a kid? the r*xana 😔
Lily of the Incas: What is something you still feel guilty for? dropping out of school
Lily of the Nile: What is something you feel guilty for that you shouldn’t feel guilty about? mental illnesses
Lupine: What does your name mean? Why is that your name? annie means grace. while my mom was pregnant, she had a dream where a curly haired little girl with a round face was running and she kept calling “annie” so she decided to name me that. weirdly enough, as i grew up, i had the same curly brown hair and round face that she saw in her dream.
Marigold: Where did you grow up? Tell us about it. i grew up in a small house with my mom and dad until i was six. i don’t want to talk about it here because it’s kinda private and personal and i don’t wanna share it with the world.
Morning Glory: What was your bedroom like growing up? my bedroom used to be really messy but as i grew up and developed my ocd everything’s pretty neat most of the time
Mugworts: What was it like for you as a teenager? Did you enjoy your teenage years? i’m still a teenager calm down. it’s horrible there’s too much pressure i wanna be twelve again
Norwegian Angelica: Tell us about your mom. she’s amazing but she also makes me feel like shit a lot
Onions: Tell about your dad. where do i begin. used to be a complete asshole until a couple years ago he got a girlfriend that completely turned him around bless her soul. she broke up with him though. distant but i still love him with all my heart. i worry about him alot.
Orchid: Tell about your grandparents. moms mom (granny)- lives with me, i have to love her cuz she provides for us but god damn she gets on my nerves and i’m pretty sure she hates me. moms dad- used to be really cool, disappeared for six years, came back two years ago, now he’s an alcoholic, has dementia, and is a complete asshole. he’s dead to me. dads mom- the kind of grandparent that appears during holidays and birthdays and stuff and then disappears for most of the year. dads dad- wasn’t too close to him, but he died six months ago from cancer and i got pretty sad about it. he looked a lot (a lot) like my dad but just much older, so to see him in the hospital bed with all the tubes attached to him.. it was pretty emotional.
Pansy: What was your most memorable birthday? What made it be so memorable? most memorable birthday was probably age six i think?? i had a really cool birthday party at a park with some first grade friends, and i took an iconic picture thats super cute and i still look at occasionally but it’s hard bc it’s got the r*xana in it
Peony: What was your first job? i’ve never had one
Petunia: If you’re in a relationship, how did you meet your partner(s)? If you’re not in a relationship, how did you meet your crush/how do you hope to meet your future partner(s), if you want any? met her through instagram
Pincushion: How do you deal with pain? grit my teeth, walk around, distract myself
Pink: Where is home? technically, miami. but home is a feeling.
Plantain Lilies: If you could go back in time, what is one thing you would stop/change? i don’t know, really. i know it’s impossible and it’s totally metaphorical but if i could, not only could i not choose just one, but i do believe in destiny and i worry that if i change something then everything down the road would change and maybe i wouldn’t have met you her.
Prairie Gentian: Who is someone you look up to? Describe them. i don’t really look up to anyone i just wanna be a good person and i also wanna be thin.
Primrose: Describe your ideal life. well number one, this would take forever, number two, youre the only person that’s probably gonna read this and and you already know
Rhodendron: What is something you used to believe in as a child? the basics: santa, easter bunny, tooth fairy
Ricinus: Who’s the most important in your life? hmm i wonder who 😌
Rose: What’s your favorite sound? everything’s quiet except for the rain falling on the window, maybe some light music in the background
Rosemallows: What’s your favorite memory? i don’t want to think about this right now
Sage: What’s your least favorite memory? also don’t want to think about this right now
Snapdragon: At this moment, what do you want? you
St. John’s Wort: Is it easy or difficult for you to express how you feel about things? it’s usually really difficult but you make it so easy somehow
Sunflower: What is something you don’t want to imagine life without? once again, you. but also gamecube or flowers or bagels or hoodies or nail polish
Sweet Pea: How much sleep did you get last night? a lot actually? i think like eight hours woah that’s a weeks worth
Tickseed: What’s your main reason to get up every morning? i’m about to copy and paste these answers they’re getting repetitive
Touch-Me-Not: How do you feel about your current job? pretty good, being that i don’t have one
Transvaal Daisy: What’s your favorite item of clothing? generally? hoodies. my personal one? it’s either my new black pants or my trench hoodie
Tropical White Morning Glory: Describe your aesthetic. damn i don’t even know 🥵 it’s probably white or light furniture and windows with natural light shining in on houseplants and nice comfortable sofas
Tulip: What would be the best present to get you? i love clothes or flowers or money
Vervain: What’s stressing you out most right now? i’m not stressed about anything at this minute so i don’t wanna think about something that’s stressing me out because then i’ll start stressing about it
Wisteria: How many books have you read in the past few months? What were they called? i read the fallen queen on wattpad does that count
Wolf’s Bane: Where do you want to be in life this time next year? hopefully getting somewhere with my education. i’d love to get my ged instantly but i’m not gonna pressure myself or be upset at myself if i don’t pass the test the first time. i might have to take classes for it, and that’s okay. i hope.
Yarrow: Do you know what vore is? whasthat
Zinnia: Give a random fact about yourself. i hate food but love cooking/baking
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