#i said something without thinking yesterday and i cant get it off my head so i drew these

[greatbananachaos]

I drank glögi for the first time again this year and i can feel the seasonal depression getting closer

I spent too much time on these and theyre just shitposts 😰

[worldlxvlys]

can you plase make a story where chris is obsessed with the reader and is super clingy, and always want to be close to her.

and he cant stop thinking about her and talks about her to his friends all the time.

and he gets hard everytime he sees her, and everything about her turns him on, and he jerks off alot while thinking about her.

obsessed

chris sturniolo x reader

warnings: smutttt, masturbation, fantasizing, cursing

a/n: this is inspired by the request (obv) but also by @solarsturniolo ‘s series We’re Just Friends for matt, i’m absolutely obsessed with it ! please go read if you haven’t already :)

3 TIMES CHRIS WAS DOWNBAD FOR READER AND 1 TIME HE DID SOMETHING ABOUT IT.

1. HE’S IN DENIAL.

“you gus are being dramatic, it’s not that bad” i said to matt and nick.

“chris, you can’t go a day without being around her. and when you aren’t with her she’s all you talk about” matt said.

“that’s not true” i brushed off his comment.

“chris, you’re doing it right now. this conversation started with you telling us how much you miss her” nick deadpanned.

i rolled my eyes at this, “whatever bro”

“no, not whatever. you’re obsessed with her”

“that’s crazy. i’m not obsessed with her, guys. i just love spending time with her” i stopped to think, “and helping her pick out her outfits, seeing how excited she gets over little things”

“her smile, her face, her laugh, her voice, her body”

“but you’re not obsessed, right?” nick said “exactly” i agreed.

“kid, please listen to yourself” matt spoke,

“you’re smiling like a fucking idiot right now” nick pointed out, making me drop my smile quickly.

“you sniff her hair like a creep and whenever she is here, you’re always touching her in some way” he continued.

“and you’re always talking about how good she looks or how you like her hair that day. i bet if i asked you the exact outfit she wore yesterday you could tell me” matt said.

i went to object, but realized i did have her exact outfit memorized.

“she was wearing my favorite pair of shorts” i spoke, trying to give an excuse.

“chris, you can’t be serious” nick spoke, looking at me incredulously.

“what ?” i asked, my voice raising slightly.

“look, there’s nothing wrong with it. but you need to be honest with yourself about it” nick said.

“look, guys. you’re just wrong! i-” suddenly, i was cut off by my phone buzzing in my pocket.

when i checked to see who it was, i was met with the face of the exact person we were talking about, a wide smile growing on my face.

without hesitating i answered, putting the phone to my ear.

“hold on, i’ll be back” i told them, holding a finger up.

“this kid is unreal” matt spoke, rolling his eyes.

🤭🤭🤭

2. HE’S OBSESSED.

matt and nick had left to go to the store a little while ago, stating that it’d be a while before they were back.

i immediately took the opportunity to let out my pent-up frustrations, caused by her.

her eyes, always looking up at me so innocently. like she was just begging me to take that away and completely destroy her.

her lips, always soft and hydrated. like they’re just waiting to be kissed. i wanna see them get puffy and bruised from my own.

her thighs, always so shiny and squeezable. i wanna watch them shake while she screams out my name. i need them around my head, pushing me further and further into her pussy, holding me captive. i wanna see them folded into her chest while i hammer her pussy, her body thrashing under me.

her hands, always freshly manicured. whenever she gets a new set and sends me them, i imagine what they’d look like wrapped around my cock.

which was how we got here in the first place. except, this time, she sent me a video.

“fuck, chris” she started making me cum immediately. “i love these so much” she spoke excitedly, wiggling her fingers to show off the intricate nails.

“thank you for paying for them, i seriously…” she continued to ramble but i lost focus as my hips stuttered and thick ropes of my cum coated my hand, some even flying onto the phone screen.

i hadn’t even realized i was close.

before i knew it, i found myself overstimulating my sensitive cock as i continued to pump, getting lost in the sound of her voice.

yeah, nothing about this is normal.

🍆🍆🍆

3. HE’S DELUSIONAL. (OR IS HE 🤨)

she looked way too good.

we were hanging out at her house, after just getting back from shopping.

she was giving me a try-on haul, and god it was criminal how good she looked in anything she put on her body.

her body. i tried not to stare at her body when i was around her, but i couldn’t help it. she was hypnotizing. it was getting harder and harder to hide the boners that i got every time i saw her.

i was already struggling, but the second she pulled out the bikinis? i had to pull my hoodie off and place it over my lap.

every time she walked back to her closet, her hips drew me in. i watched her ass as she walked, gripping onto the sheets under me.

the bikinis got cheekier and cheekier as she tried them on, but i lost it at one in particular.

when she bent over to rifle though her bag, the fabric moved over slightly, giving me the smallest glimpse of her pussy.

“i gotta use the bathroom!” i yelled as i rushed past her.

“oh-“ she barely even finished talking before i pushed the door closed.

i leaned against the door as i pulled down my pants.

i spread the pre-cum that covered my cock around, my head falling back against the door as i held back my groans.

my arm started to cramp up at the speed that i pumped my length at, needing to finish quickly.

suddenly, there was a knock at the door, making my eyes widen but not stopping my movements.

“chris, are you ok? you seemed kinda off” i heard her speak through the door.

the sound of her voice alone pulled me closer to finishing.

“uh, yeah. just felt kinda weird” i did my best not to let any moans slip out.

the wet sounds of my hand furiously stroking my cock echoed through the bathroom, and i prayed that she didn’t hear it.

“do you need help?” she asked.

“what ?” i asked, her words catching me off guard.

“like, is there anything i can get you ? do you need anything?” she asked.

“uh, no. just give me a minute” i breathed out heavily, struggling to suppress my groans at the sound of her voice.

“a minute? you close, baby?” she asked. at this point, i was too far into the pleasure to question her words.

“yes, so fucking close” i moaned as my mouth hung open, drool dribbling down my chin.

“you thinkin about bending me over the sink in my bikini?” i let out an embarrassingly loud groan at this.

“feeling me clench around your cock while you fill my pussy up? reminding me who i belong to?” my eyes crossed at her words and my legs shook so hard i had to hold onto the sink.

“i’m cumming! holy fuck, i’m cumming!” i groaned.

my seed spurted out of me, making me groan at the feeling of it dripping down my length.

“oh my god” i breathed out shakily, grabbing toilet paper and cleaning myself up.

i flushed it down the toilet, pulling up my pants and washing my hands after.

i splashed water onto my face, letting the reality of my actions hit me.

did i just fuck everything up?

taking a deep breath, i opened the door.

she had a slightly concerned look on her face as she spoke, “hey, you ok? what happened?”

my eyebrows furrowed at her question. what did she mean, what happened ?

“i mean- yeah i’m good”

“ok, you kinda scared me. you seemed like you were gonna be sick” she spoke as she looked up at me.

did i just imagine that entire thing?

“chris, what’s wrong?” she asked, placing her hand on my shoulder.

“did you come to the door to talk to me at all?” i asked.

“no, why?”

oh, this is not good. i’m fucked.

she cupped my jaw in her hand, swiping her thumb across the corner of my lips.

“you had a little drool” she lightly smirked at me.

🤨🤨🤨

1. HE’S BOLD.

“ok, i should get going” she spoke as she patted my knee lightly.

she was cuddled into my side, her head laying on my shoulder while my arm was wrapped around her waist.

her shirt had ridden up slightly, allowing my hand to rest against her bare skin.

although it may not seem like a big deal, being able to feel her skin was driving me crazy.

i wanted to run my hands all over her body, but i couldn’t. so i settled for the small area of skin that was exposed.

“noooo, just tell your friends to come here” i spoke as i lightly played with the rings on her hand.

“chris…it’s a girl’s night out. that completely defeats the purpose” she said.

“i know, i know. i just don’t want you to go” i spoke before leaving a small kiss to her neck.

i kept my face there, inhaling the sweet scent of her perfume.

i tried my hardest to move my face away from her neck, but i couldn’t find it in me to pull away.

i shouldn’t have left the kiss in the first place, because now that i knew what it felt like, i wasn’t going to be able to stop.

i left a kiss to the same spot.

and another.

and another.

i moved up her neck, beginning to leave them along her jaw.

“chris” she sighed out, tilting her head to give me better access.

i continued to press my lips to her jaw, and moved up towards her ear, stopping just below it when she let out a moan.

the noise traveled straight to my dick, and i groaned out against her skin.

i focused on the sweet spot, enjoying the way her body reacted to it.

“fuck, chris” she moaned.

suddenly, nick bursted through my door, making us pull apart quickly.

“your friend’s here” he spoke to her, taking in the distance between us and our heavy breathing. “y’all good?”

“yup” we spoke quickly, at the same time, making nick look at us weirdly.

“i should go, don’t wanna keep them waiting” she spoke as she left quickly.

“i just ruined something, didn’t i?” nick asked.

i let out a heavy sigh as i fell back onto my bed.

yeah, i’m fucked.

💋💋💋

is chris delusional ??? 🤔

i loveee this

masterlist

tag list: @lustfulslxt @flowerxbunnie @sturnssx @mattslolita @its-jennarose @sophssturn @bernardsleftbootycheek @queen161718 @cupidsword @imwetforyourmom @nickmillersn1gf @mattsneezing @chrisstankyleg @sturniolobltch @ciarasturn1 @bethsturn @bernardenjoyer @mbbsgf @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @ssturniolo @blueeyedbesson @mxqdii @sturniolowhore @heraakayourname @defnotayonna @urmom2bitch @rootbeerworshiper @starsturniolo @hearts4chriss @theyluv-meee @carolinalikesthings @chrisstopherfilmed @judespoision @sstvrnioloo @littlebookworm803 @nicksdrpepper @chrisloyalgf @robins-scoop @fandomhopped @chr1sgirl4life @bbglmfao @55sturn @sturniolololover @meg-sturniolo @mattsnymphette @leah-loves-lilies @vanteguccir @ineedchriscock @junnniiieee07

[capricosalvation]

Young Cathleen Bate x Fem!Reader

After yesterday's poll, i Made this thinking about a Young Cathleen dressed in the uniform With a bike, heavily 80's inspired "Take my breath away" kinda thing. Both Of You Are +18 in this fic, but there is no smut.

—°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°˖✧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚✧˖°—

Cathleen and you have something going on for a while... And no one noticed...Its a relief, both of you have religious parents, but at the same time, the thrill it's interesting to Say at least..

You were coming out of your university when you saw your girlfriend waiting for You, standing in her military outfit close to her motorbike, She looked badass!

Cathy seems to have some bandages in her face...

"Don't worry too much for it, babe... It was just a quirkless combat with Ethan" - she cooed, caressing your soft right cheek.

"Babe You look like a beaten up banana at this point, i'm worried" - Y/N pouted, altrought humoring Cathy, she was worried "i think you shouldn't go that hard, cant imagine how Ethan looks compared to You"

"Nahh, It was part of the exercise! He was holding back on Me, I insisted him going full Power" - She brushed it off with a smile, but when she tried to smile she ended up wincing in pain.

"I'm being serious, don't overwork yourself." - The worried girl crossed her arms, raising her head to look at her secret girlfriend seriously.

But Y/N didnt knew that Cathleen was having a bad day already, and was trying to not burst up at the minimun pressure "Listen, I might not be the Best cadet yet, but I'm not a child anymore, please don't treat me like one, I'm a full grown adult" - She was being hard headed again... Y/N could tell this was a sensitive matter for her, and She didnt wanted to make scene in the University entrance.

She huffed, not wasting saliva in what would be a public discussion, Cathleen sitted on the motorbike looking at Y/N without a word, just a cold face that if it spoke it would say "get on, no questions"

Y/N complied sitting and hugging Cathleen for security, but at the same time, that hug was showing her concern. Cathleen revved the bike, who roared back to life, soon they left University grounds and drive towards her parents house.

Cathleen's parents werent at Home, neither her Sister. They went to visit Cathleen's grandparents, Y/N knew that because of Cathleen's rants about wanting to go with them... But She couldnt. She had to sacrifice that in order to be the Best.

The women arrived to the cadet's Home, a large, fancy condo, she got off the bike, and took off her helmet, and then turned to look at you "They went to see our grandparents for the weekend , but don't worry, they know you, they told me you could come In whenever you wanted" - she said in a tired tone, she realized that Y/N didnt deserve her anger, so She took her secret lover's hand, guiding her to the cadet's house, lo later enter to her room.

Cathleen's room was filled With All Might pictures and posters of planes. A photo With little Cathy posing happily in All Might's arms was proudly showed in her nightstand. Y/N sat on the bed, downhearted about what happened before, the blonde hero aspirant closed the door. Taking off her jacket... Y/N gasped, Cathleen was beaten up, purple and red bruises collored her fair skin, she looked at You with a mix of seriousness, whim and... Sadness?

"This is what happens when You want to be the best" - She huffed, agitated "To be like him, i need to be strong" - she was being hard headed... Again

"All Might Isnt strong all the time!" - Y/N said, her voice trembling "Because he's a human! YOU don't have to be strong all the time, because YOU'RE human!!!"

"You don't understand, Y/N" - She said, gruff "How can You be the Best in a world of men, 'taking it easy'?" - She said the last Words in a mocking, sarcastic, yet jealous and hurtfull tone. Then She sighed, She was hurting her beloved. "I... I can't help it... W-when you're surrounded by men that are so strong... So powerful... I... I feel weak... I feel useless..." - Cathleen began to sob and tears of anger started to flow from her eyes, she was feeling pathetic... Weak... She wasn't the hero she wanted to be... Cathleen tought herself as a disgrace that didn't deserve that uniform...

Y/N had enough, jumping from the bed to cup her girlfriend's cheeks "You Are NOT weak! You're one Of the Best fucking students!" - She sighed, then kissed her cheek in comprehension "You're a student for Gods sake! A student can't be a Master if they compare themselves all the time!!! Stop pushing yourself!" - that was the last straw for Y/N to get on her tippy toes and kiss Cathleen on the lips.

The bigger woman gasped and hugged the more petite one as they both kissed softly. Cathleen muscly arms hugged her girlfriend's more smaller frame, it felt like it was thanking Y/N with her body languaje. When the sweet kiss ended, the now smiling cadet cupped her girlfriend' cheek, a gesture She always makes.

"I'm sorry doll.. i don't know what happened to me.. i'll make up to You, just wai-.. - she was interrumpted by Y/N kissing the bandage in Cathleen's cheek. "You Are so selfless, Cathy.. that makes You shine like a Star"

At the end of the day, they ended up cuddling on the couch, eating Cathleen favorite gummies. And She couldnt be happier of having Y/N in her life, her little Star...

꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷꒦꒷

Hi guys! I hope You liked it! Please do tell me if i made a typo or grammatical error, i'm always learning. Anyways, if You have a idea for a One Shot like this please write a comment, i appreciate the feedback.

[galaxywrites]

ㅤㅤ ㅤ incorrect quotes from my freed revenants au!

ㅤㅤ ㅤsome may be nsfw! just a warning!! color-coded.

──────────────────────────────

Kabal: What if the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything?

Kabal: Pregnancy tests are Maybe Babies.

Jade: Socks are Feetie Heaties.

Liu Kang: Defibrillators are Heartie Starties.

Stryker: Nightmares are Dreamy Screamies.

Kitana: Stamps are Lickie Stickies.

Tomàš: I hate you guys so much.

-

Jade: You know, there’s something weird going on with your face?

Tomàš: What?

Jade: You’re smiling! I didn’t know you could do that

-

Tomàš: Be careful, I thrive on negative attention.

-

Tomàš: Well, has Jade been wrong before?

Kitana: How wide are we willing to open this up?

-

Stryker: Liu Kang, can I ask you a question?

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker: Okay, can I ask you two questions?

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker, frustrated: OKAY, CAN I ASK YOU FOUR QUESTIONS?!

Liu Kang: You just did.

Stryker: When?!

Liu Kang: Just now.

-

Kabal: I have a bad feeling about this...

Tomàš: What do you mean?

Kabal: Don't you ever get that little voice in your head that tells you if you're going to get into trouble?

Tomàš: No?

Liu Kang: That actually explains so much.

-

Kabal: I couldn't do this without you, Tomàš.

Tomàš: Sure you could. Not as stylishly, of course.

-

Tomàš: The path to inner peace begins with four words… not my fucking problem.

-

Kabal: Get in, loser, we’re committing vehicular manslaughter!

-

Liu Kang: Might I make a suggestion you possibly won’t like?

Tomàš: Do you make any other kind?

-

Kitana: What are you two arguing about this time?

Stryker: He's always using common phrases incorrectly!

Tomàš: Cry me a table, Kurtis.

-

Tomàš: We wouldn’t last two minutes without Nightwolf.

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Don't tell him I said that.

-

Tomàš: I love saying 'fuck me' because it can either be sexual or self-loathing and those are two things that describe me perfectly.

-

Tomàš: Fight me!

Kitana, standing behind him and holding her fans: *mouths* Do not.

-

Kabal: Yesterday, I overheard Nightwolf saying “Are you sure this is a good idea?” and Tomàš replying “Trust me,” and I have never moved from one room to another so quickly in my life.

-

Stryker: *falls down the stairs*

Kitana: Are you okay?

Liu Kang: Stop falling down the stairs!

Tomàš: How’d the ground taste?

-

Kabal: Why cant trees give off something important like wifi??

Stryker: So fuck oxygen, I guess.

-

Tomàš: Are you a masochist or a sadist?

Kung Lao, deadpan: I’m a Taurus.

-

Kabal: An apple a day keeps the doctor away!

Tomàš: An apple a day can keep anyone away if you throw it hard enough.

-

*During a game of Hangman*

Tomàš: Nope, there’s no Q. You lose.

Stryker: Are you kidding me?! You can still add something!

Tomàš: I already added a belt, four earrings and an extra arm! YOU LOSE!

-

Jade: Can you pass the salt?

Tomàš: Can you pass away?

Jade: Too much salt.

-

Kung Lao: Am I in trouble?

Liu Kang: Take a guess.

Kung Lao: No?

Liu Kang: Take another guess.

-

Kabal, trying to comfort Tomàš: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

-

Stryker: Why would you think any of this was a good idea?!

Tomàš: Probably because I’m a trained assassin with a long history of violence.

Stryker: Oh...

Jade, from across the room: I don’t understand how you keep forgetting that.

-

Tomàš: Can you recommend a book that'll make me cry?

Kabal: General Mathematics 8th Grade Edition.

-

Nightwolf: You three, explain right now.

Tomàš: It was Kabal.

Jade: It was Kabal.

Liu Kang: It was Kabal.

Kabal:

Kabal: …fuck.

-

Tomàš: Wait a minute, how did this happen? We're smarter than this!

Enenra: Apparently, we're not!

-

Kung Lao: Truth or dare?

Tomàš: Truth.

Kung Lao: How many hours have you slept this week?

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Dare.

Kung Lao: Go to sleep.

Tomàš: I don't like this game.

-

Nightwolf: I'm going to ask you to be respectful.

Tomàš: I will politely decline.

-

Liu Kang: Did you buy eggs like I asked?

Tomàš: Even better!

Liu Kang: What the fuck did you-

Tomàš: *holding up a chicken* Her name is Fluffy.

-

Liu Kang: Hey, are you free?

Kung Lao: No, I’m expensive.

-

Stryker: Want to hear a hard riddle?

Kung Lao: Sure.

Stryker: A rooster laid an egg on a roof. Which way did it roll?

Kung Lao: ...down?

Stryker: N-

Tomàš: Who cares about which way it rolled, it would be scrambled eggs by then.

Stryker:

Stryker: No, it's that roosters don't lay eggs... Jesus Christ...

-

Stryker: Do you take constructive criticism?

Kabal: No, only cash or credit.

-

Jade: Just be yourself. Say something nice.

Tomàš: Which one? I can't do both.

-

Nightwolf: One time I went to hand Jade a bowl of soup. I wanted to say “Careful, it’s hot!”, and “Here’s your soup!”, so instead I blurted out “Careful it’s soup.”

-

Tomàš: You're right.

Jade: That's... That's an unusual phrase for you. Did you just learn it?

-

Stryker: Anyone else feel good when their brain releases a bunch of endorphins?

Jade: Can't relate.

Tomàš: Why would my brain release a bunch of dolphins?

-

Tomàš: Liu Kang! Kabal got that thing on the control panel working!

Liu Kang: Wow! That looks pretty impressive.

Tomàš: Yeah!

Liu Kang: Any idea what it does?

Tomàš: Not a clue.

-

Tomàš: Where is my fucking mask?

Kabal: Tomàš, guests are around, can you say it a little nicer?

Tomàš: May I ascertain the whereabouts of my FUCKING MASK?!

-

Liu Kang: I don’t think we can mansplain, manipulate, or malewife our way out of it this time.

Kitana: *cracks knuckles* Manslaughter it is!

-

Tomàš: I wouldn’t wish that upon my worse enemy!

Tomàš: Unless of course. . We’re talking about our enemy, Quan Chi. Fuck you Quan Chi, you know what you did!

-

Tomàš: Tired of just deserving better. Gonna start taking it by force.

-

Stryker: Wow, Kano really hates us.

Kabal: Yes, perhaps he's homophobic.

Stryker: But we’re not gay, Kabal.

Kabal:

Stryker:

Kabal: We’re not?

-

Tomàš: Is having a penis fun?

Kabal: It has its ups and downs.

Stryker: Sometimes it’s a little hard.

Kung Lao: It’s a pain in the ass.

Jade: Oh, Jesus, fuck, guys, come on.

-

Kitana: What does 'take out' mean?

Liu Kang: Food.

Stryker: Dating

Tomàš: Murder

Kabal: IT CAN MEAN ALL THREE IF YOU'RE NOT A COWARD.

-

Nightwolf: Good responses for being stabbed with a knife?

Stryker: Rude.

Kabal: That’s fair.

Tomàš: Not again.

Jade: Are you going to want this back?

-

Nightwolf: What do you think Kabal will do for a distraction?

Stryker: He’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Stryker: ... or he could do that.

-

Kitana, carefully running a brush through Tomàš' hair: Did no one teach you how to manage your hair properly?

Tomàš, shrugging: The Lin Kuei elders just said brush it with your fingers, it'll be fine.

Tomàš: When Cyrax joined, he used to do it. But I haven't seen him here in the Netherrealm, so I just assumed his soul didn't end up here.

Kitana: ... We need to teach you a proper hair routine.

Tomàš: Say what now?

-

Tomàš: Did you just call me a shrimp, you asshole?! I'm still growing, dammit!

Enenra: You stopped growing when you were fourteen!

-

Enenra: What’s sexting?

Tomàš: I'm not having this conversation with you.

-

Stryker: Are you okay?

Kabal, crying: Yeah, it was just the onions.

Stryker: *Picks up an onion* What the fuck did you say to Kabal?

-

Kitana: There are no friends when playing board games. I am here to win.

-

Kitana: I am going to need you to swear-

Kabal: Fuck.

Kitana:

Kitana: ...swear as in promise.

-

Stryker: The Ocean is a soup.

Tomàš:

Tomàš: Do elaborate.

Stryker: What are needed for something to be a soup?

Tomàš: Erm... Water, salt, some form of vegetation, and personally I prefer some meat in mine.

Stryker: *Tilts head*

Tomàš: The Ocean is a Soup.

Stryker: The Ocean is a Soup.

-

Nightwolf: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.

Stryker, Liu Kang, Kabal, and Kitana: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!

-

*Everyone is playing a board game together*

Kabal: I will put 'A' down to make 'A'.

Tomàš: I will add onto your 'A' to make 'AT'.

Kung Lao: I will add onto your 'AT' to make 'RAT'.

Kitana: I will add onto your 'RAT' to make 'BIOSTRATAGRAPHIC'.

Kung Lao: *flips the board*

-

Kabal: *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*

Stryker: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?

Kabal: I—

Kabal: I don’t know the correct answer to that question.

-

Kitana: Don't break someone's heart, they only have one.

Tomàš: Break one of their bones instead, they have 206 of them.

[preciadosbass]

18/8/24 [4 new CDS + 2 other purchases // draft from yesterday — key + significant photos at end]

woke up at half 7 and got up almost straight away. i said goodmorning to boris first thing, and he was surprisingly inside on the kitchen table today, and not outside on the driveway. i pushed through my tiredness and dressed myself in my sleeping with sirens shirt, black ripped skinny jeans, knee high converse, gray + black striped arm warmers, a studded belt, my taxidermy silver fox tail, my taxidermy scorpion necklace, my diy kellin quinn necklace + the same bracelets as yesterday plus a purple falling in reverse band bracelet. so, a copy of my previous outfit, but with a different shirt.

me and my dad left for the bootsale at 8 after id roughly straightened my hair/put on eyeliner/and said goodbye to boris. literally the first stall we walked past was hosted by three alt people selling various alt [goth, scene] plushies and skirts. i try my best to stay away from so called ‘feminine’ clothing [i say even though i wore a ‘fem’ shirt yesterday. its a shame that it’s not androgynous, but it wouldn’t even look profoundly androgynous on me anyways because i cant bind.] i was too scared to actually go up and pay for one of the scene looking plushies myself so i asked my dad to do it. it’s a bright green bunny thing with one X’d our eye. he was £2 and i think he’s really cute. [photo at end].

we walked around for about 20 minutes until i decided i wanted to go back to the alt stall and see how much this skull + crossbones shirt was. we took a short walk back and when i got there, i realised its actually a skull beanie. which is just as good, as i don’t have any alt specific hats. we asked for the price and it was literally 50p. 50.. P!!! what a bargain 🙂‍↕️ [photo at end] — me and my dad strolled around for quite a while longer, stopping of every now and then while my dad looked through boxes of vinyls. he got 6 good vinyls [according to him] that came together at £5-6. while we looked around, i randomly brought up to my dad that i cant wait until everyone goes back to school so i can rollerblade at our local skatepark. and how i’ve always wanted to learn how to skateboard.

funnily enough, the next stall we looked at had four skateboards stacked up on the grass. the guy asked if i was interested and showed me the wheels etc. he explained if you make them looser, you can turn more freely, and things like that. one was broken so he took it away and gave me the chance to decide if i wanted one/and what one i wanted if i do decide on buying one. i decided on a skateboard with cool-ly printed monsters on the back. it also looked in the best condition so that’s convenient. i got it for £2!! [photo at end]. we walked without any more luck for a some time until we came across a new cd stall. [as in, the cds were new]

i looked through what i thought were singles [they were albums, they just didn’t have cases]. while flicking through, i found two good charlotte cds, a blink 182 cd, and a the used cd hidden at the back of the box. i literally could’ve lost it over these finds. [photo at end] it was once again i coincidence something like this happened, as i was just speaking about that i thought i’d come away from the bootsale without any new cds. but i was wrong!! they were also only 50p each which is insane. i cant believe i found the used merch in the wild. after this, we went down one more row/isle and then headed home at 9:30. on the way back i did see another new cd stall, but the cds were £5 each and i didn’t see anything i recognised. i did look at a rancid cd, but decided against it.

i blasted panic! at the disco’s death of a bachelor in the car and arrived home at 9:50. i greeted boris and stayed outside with him for a little while before coming inside to get my bag + jacket to go out again. i used to go to this club, it’s the same organisation that sent me off to that expedition — and after that i never went again. but i decided i might go and see how it is if i go with my sister as there is an alt person there i’m friendly-ish with. i actually might see her tomorrow. she’s a nice person, the problem is i cant trust her and i’m not good around full on/energetic people. i don’t really know how to act or what to do with myself.

while i was waiting to leave, my dad made sure the cat was kept inside just so he’s not out when we’re out, and asked me to do something because his hands were busy. i said i dont know how [because i’ve never been taught what it was, and i thought he’d understand because obviously i’m not in school and it’s not my fault nobody’s showed me] but he started screaming at me and calling me ridiculous. the cat ended up escaping from his grip and running outside. then everyone started arguing. i just sort of stood there, waiting for it to all be over. we finally got out of the door after my mum had screamed at me over and over again. it was one of the worst arguments i’ve witnessed in ages.

and me, my mum, and my sister walked across the driveway to the car. on the way there, i said ‘everyone is ridiculous’ [which i shouldn’t have said, just in the moment everyone was having a go at me and i was already terrified to go back to somewhere that’s given me so much trauma. everyone has been screaming for ages.] then my mum lost it. she said we couldn’t go anymore and she made boris run away. i sobbed for around two hours because i was scared he’d gone across the road and into the woods. i was also beside myself because i knew that it’s my fault he got so scared. i shouldn’t have been so ignorant and said that knowing everyone’s mad. i just didn’t expect my mum to go as crazy as she did and shove me inside and into the kitchen counters/go to hurt me even more.

i told her she scared the cat and he’s gone missing but she grabbed me and shouted ‘i don’t care. i really don’t care anymore, ___.’ i stood behind the front door, looking through the window part to see if he’d come out and then stood on the doorstep to see if he’d come to me. then my mum slammed the door and locked me out. no matter what i did, he wouldn’t come out. my dad saw this and let me in, but he [my dad] was still acting weird. my dad said i should go somewhere else in house, because he could not be coming out because he can see me through the door and thinks i’m going to try and get him inside again.

i did and came back outside when i heard the news that he’d come back onto the driveway/was calm. i sat outside with him, still crying — and my dad saw me through the door. he tried speaking to me about what happened but it ended up being a disagreement. he came back inside and i stayed cuddling boris. i apologised for everything that happened, even though he cant really understand what i say to him. he does understand ‘your my bestfriend’ and ‘i love you so so so so much’ though, because he knows i’m going to give him treats afterwards. i was with him for as long as i could until my parents changed their minds about keeping me from the rest of my family and not meeting up for the barbecue arranged.

but obviously i was already upset about it because i couldn’t go to something that id already had in my head that’s going to happen/prevented my sister from going because i said something stupid/i was again, being isolated from the rest of my family. i said i don’t know what i want to do but we ended up going. which is secretly what i wanted because i wanted to be cheered up by someone. we left at exactly 3 and i listened to the used + mcr’s ’under pressure’ cover on the way there. when we arrived, i didn’t speak to anyone and just had some crackers because one of my cousin’s girlfriend was there and i’m intimidated by her. i don’t like how she acts considering she hasn’t been ‘in the family’ for long at all. although it’s bad for me to judge her as i don’t know her, she just does act really iffy.

her son is okay though, he’s slightly less shy than me, and is usually just there, if that makes sense. while i people watched/listened, my sister was using her nunchucks to hit a tennis ball that she was calling people up to throw for her. she ended up whacking the ball into the bush separating my aunts house and her neighbour’s garden. the same cousin i just mentioned got out a ladder and tried finding it. while they [him, my sister, and my dad] did, they came across a cat inside the bush. it must’ve been the neighbours and was just sitting inside, looking through these bar things. [photo at end] it was really sweet looking but must’ve been scared of strangers because it went to scratch me when i gave it my hand to sniff.

or maybe it didn’t like the smell of crackers. i watched it for a while because i was missing boris. another one of my cousin’s fiancé’s mums is really wealthy and just buys random stuff for my cousin/his fiancé. [i know it’s rude to call someone wealthy or something but everyone else does, because she is, and admits it — and i don’t necessarily mean it in a bad way.] anyway, back to what i was saying. because of this, my cousin just gets gifted things and a few of the things in question are still round my aunts house from before he moved out. one of these things is a large swing-seat thing. i had a go of it and ended up sleeping for 2+ hours lolll. it was really so comfy. after waking up, i tried speaking to my dad [it didn’t really work, we’re both bad socialisers.] i once again, people watched until 8:20 when we left for home. i said my goodbyes to everyone and got into the car to listen to frank iero.

when home, i was with boris on and off [while sorting through my weekly recap draft] until 11:40 when i copied one of my journals into this youth website thingy. basically, while i was doing my hair earlier, my sister mentioned that she does this thing run by the council and gets payed at least £20 for answering questions/doing activities listed. id never heard about this before and my mum also brought up something about a diary being one of the requirements so i asked if i could do it aswell. i’m running out of money even though compared to my sister i’m very mature with it, so at 12 i did that and submitted my journal, it was from wednesday this week. i also kinda just did it for fun because the youth council thing, whatever it was, wanted an idea of what teenagers do in a day.

then at 12:30, i asked my parents questions about boris. for once my mum didn’t get in an argument with me [this sounds rude, i just don’t know how to word it.] and i finished just 10-15 minutes later which is revolutionary for me. i forced myself to be quick because i knew my mum would get mad over my panic, but i was stressed over them [the questions] not making sure boris would be okay in the morning. i came downstairs, did a bit of my journal, and had naps on and off until 1:40. i didn’t intend to even have a nap, but i knew i’d fall asleep while saying goodnight to boris/without saying goodnight to him otherwise.

i brought out my plushie and cds to show him, and forgot to take my skull beanie/didn’t carry my skateboard out into the kitchen because i wouldn’t have been able to signal with my hands that i love him if i did. i finished at 2:40 and got into bed at around the same time. before i slept, boris came into my room again and explored the underneath of my bed. i went to sleep at 3.

🗝️ — boris/my cat, questions [about boris]/i ask my parents questions about my cat to verify he’s okay + will be okay in the morning. its a compulsive thing and i’m hopefully going to be tested for OCD in the future.

have a good day/night O_o

[luisthefool]

Learning 'No'

Eddie Gluskin x OC (Bunny)

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'No', such a simple word yet one so hard to understand for one such as Eddie. How could anyone...especially his Darling wife Bunny ever tell him no? She was his wife, his bride. Ever since she said 'I do' she belonged to him....right?

Yet she fought like a feral animal whenever he overstepped a boundry. She would yell and fight until he gave up and let her have some space...and no amount of cuddles, kisses and gifts would make her happy until she had calmed down.

This was one of those days, yesterday he had fought with her over something trivial in his mind. He had just wanted her to clean the entire basement again after he had scared away an intruder and made a mess! It was a simple request and she should have said yes, like a good wife. Instead she had said no and continued cooking, which started the hours long argument.

After not being able to get his way he had stormed over to his workshop and made a sloppy 'shirt' before tossing it away.

His clothes were sticky with drying blood and grime, things that she should have washed without question! Instead she was being a brat.. talking back and refusing him! Who did she think she was?!

With an angry sigh he stepped out of the workshop and stormed to the kitchen, finding bunny eating the now warm canned soup with a solemn expression.

"...Dinner's ready.... Eat if you want.."

She didnt even look at him as she spoke, simply passing him a bowl and continuing to eat. This only made him angrier....it took everything in him no to discipline her right then and there.

"...Why, why must you act like an ungratefull brat!? Like all those whores out there! I though i married a good girl... Not some.. ungrateful slut!"

He yelled out, slamming the table with his hands as he loomed over her tired body. She mearly flinched and looked up at him, her normally happy face tired and frustrated.

"....I spent all day cleaning....I finished all my chores..Its not my fault the chase got messy... Blame that man for breaking into our home...."

That nearly made him snap, but she cut him off before he could yell at her.

"..I... I nees to rest. My back hurts like hell... You know this... I told you this... Several times today! I'll do it later, tomorrow morning maybe, but i cant do it now.."

She said as she stood up, gently pressing her forehead to his as he processed her words.

".... Just...stop yelling... Please...i hate it when you yell..."

Her quiet voice tugged at the lucid side of him. She was right, she had spent the day cleaning, scrubbing the floor of his workshop until the rag she was using was dripping red.

He wasnt so mad about the lack of cleaning as he was about her telling him 'no', her refusing to do as he commanded. But deep down, all through the madness and delusions he loved her to bits and knew she had a point, a much as the other side of him wanted to 'put her in her place' so to speak.

Maybe he should cut her some slack this time....

With a sigh he gently patted her head, he wanted to yell and scream and demand, but there was no use in it, no use in pushing her to exaughstion when it wasnt even her fault the house was dirty again.

"..Fine! tomorrow then. You should have told me why you couldnt clean, Darling. Ill get you something for your back too, no use in having you in pain."

Bunny smiled weakly, giving a tender kiss to his scabbed face. She was surprised that he had accepted this so quickly, having prepared herself for another argument.. but maybe he was changing.

Maybe love can change actually a person?

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Aaaaa im kinda happy with now this turned out. Its not cannon Eddie but shut let me have this. I dont know if its fluff or angst or what but im happy, its been a while since ive written anything :(.

[specialagentlokitty]

Mr Evershed x Student!reader - just breathe

Mr Evershed x Student reader where they end up having a severe panic attack due to overwhelmed because of how crowded the corridor was - ends up losing consciousness and then when she comes to, she feels like she cant move her body but she just needs calming down which he helps with? - Anon💜

The corridors seemed twice as full today as they did yesterday, you kept bumping into people, and you tried to calm your racing heart.

It was getting warmer, and it was getting harder to breathe and you tried to find somewhere to go but you couldn’t.

So you stopped, leaning against the lockers as you gripped your shirt tightly, breathing nearly impossible now and your vision looked like it was pulsing.

No one seemed to stop what they were doing, and you felt yourself fall.

Students immediately stopped and they started shouting for a teacher to help them as they tried to clear some space around you.

Mr Evershed was sat in a meeting with someone’s parents when he heard someone running into the room.

“Mrs Carp I’m in a meeting!” He snapped.

“A students collapsed in the hallways!” She rushed out.

He nodded and quickly stood up.

“I’m so sorry I’ll be back as soon as I can or we can reschedule!”

With that he ran out the room and followed the woman down the hallways to there teachers were pushing students into classrooms out outside.

Mr Evershed dropped down next to you, placing his hand on your wrist.

“An ambulance won’t be here for a at least a two hours.” Mr Hyatt said.

“We have a collapsed student!” Mr Evershed snapped.

“And they can’t do anything, they’re spread thin at the moment with strikes and such.”

Mr Evershed sighed and nodded his head.

“I know sorry. Get all these students out of here, and Mrs Paracha to bring some water.”

The teachers went off to clear the area and Mr Evershed placed his hand on your forehead.

You weren’t sick, you didn’t have a temperature, but as he was checking your pulse he noticed it was racing.

He knew you had anxiety, so he was trying to list all the possible reasons for you collapsing.

Without knowing the reason he couldn’t do anything else to help but sit there with you.

You slowly blinked, opening your eyes and you started to breathe heavily again.

“Hey, calm down. Calm down.”

Mr Evershed came into your view and you tried to sit up but you couldn’t.

“I.. I can’t move.. I can’t move..” you cried weakly.

He gripped your hand tightly.

“Okay. Okay. (Y/N) Breathe. Breathe.”

You nodded and took slow and deep breaths to try and calm yourself down.

He kept instructing you to breathe for a few moments before he nodded his head, giving you a reassuring smile.

“Good. What happened?”

“Panic attack..”

He nodded his head and helped sit you up, leaning you against the lockers.

“Okay. You just need to stay calm okay? Everyone’s in class, this hallway is closed off. Just calm down, you put you body into shut down mode, so you just have to calm down.”

He lifted your hand and held it out, and it was trembling violently.

“Okay. You’re okay. It’s okay.”

“I.. I can’t calm down.. I can’t..”

Mr Evershed looked around trying to find something to distract you before he thought of something.

“Tell me about that song you were showing your friends this morning.”

“The song..?”

He nodded.

“You were playing a song. It sounded good, what was it?”

“Oh.. that’s my favourite band..”

You slowly started to tell him about the song, about your favourite band and what other songs they did and he kept asking questions.

He kept it simple, music related to music you liked.

He kept looking at your hand, and he noticed the trembling had slowed down.

Reaching for the water bottle, he opened it and held it out to you for you to take a drink.

“Do you think you can move.”

You shuffled a little and furrowed your brows a bit.

“Yeah.. but I don’t know if I can stand..”

“That’s okay, I’ll help.”

He stood up and held his hands out to you, letting you pull yourself up, and you leant against the lockers.

You seemed unsteady on your feet so Mr Evershed shook his head.

“Okay, no let’s sit back down.”

He helped you sit back down and carried on talking to you.

He was hoping you’d be able to get to the office by yourself by the time the next class ended or by the time the ambulance got here

[emblazons]

hi!

i read the tags you wrote about millie in a post yesterday (i think you deleted the post because i cant find it now) and i just wanted to say im glad theres someone who shares similar thoughts as me. i love millie but i cant even say anything on twitter without her toxic stans accusing me of misogyny and insulting her intelligence, even though thats not my intention.

if byler is canon, how do you think she’ll feel about it? im asking because your perspective is interesting! i think shes going to take it a bit personally because she strongly relates to her character and wants el to be on the same path as her (like getting married young). its understandable though, considering her upbringing.

!! I actually took it off my blog because the other day I resolved the issue of my tags not archiving—but when it got resolved, my blog ended up square in the middle as “top blogs” with the full mlvn name tag because I hadn’t been abbreviating their ship in the tag I used before ☠️ that said, I changed the tag to “anti mlvn” so I could keep myself out of mlvn corners, but a lot of the recent posts that I kept under the old tag are gone or private until tumblr tracks the change—hence the missing post!

Still...me and that tag rant was giving “why would you say something so controversial, yet so brave” for sure (lmao), though I certainly meant it less as a comment on her life decisions themselves and more a "I can tell by the decisions you make as a creator, producer of other films, and in general that you are not The Duffer Brother's target audience, but a lot of your fans can't" kind of way...which is still controversial in several corners of this fandom for sure. 😭

the rest of this answer under the cut because it got long lol

Like, yes, she does play a principal character in the show, but playing a character does not mean the character is modeled to you as a person—just look at Emilia Clarke playing Daenerys Targaryen, Anthony Hopkins playing Hannibal Lecter, or even Rachel McAdams playing Regina George lmao.

Despite playing El since she was a child, as Millie has come into adulthood it's become clearer that she is very different from El—and that The Duffers aren't creating Eleven's arc with Millie's own "coming of age" in mind. Her choices to create things like Enola Holmes, Damsel, and even Nineteen Steps (her new book) showing up as sharp contrasts to not only the women in Stranger Things, but in all of The Duffer's upcoming work on Death Note, The Talisman and The Boroughs prove that well enough, which would be zero problem at all...if a lot of her fans didn't conflate Millie with El is as a character.

To your point though...I honestly don't think Millie is going to be all that personally upset if El ends up single and Byler happens—she's already made clear that she loves El, but is ready to move on and tell other stories and that she would have written the story as a high school drama if she was in control of the direction of the plot (while pointing out that she's not the one in control of it) lol.

Even what she said recently in an widely published and official Seventeen interview shows that she's really just here to finish the story and move on with her career—that she's ready for her role as El (and the drama I'm 10000% sure comes with that) to be done:

At least to me, all of that makes it seem like she is a level-headed young woman who can handle her character not being aligned with how she would live her own life—and will, when the time comes.

That said: imo the real problem is that fans of MBB are confusing Millie's own "I can be young, strong and still have a man" creative and life choices with El's "I am overcoming the bounds men have put on me to become strong by myself" storyline, which only becomes an issue when Millie jokes about things like mlvn getting married—

—and (by nature of being an influential celebrity) ends up with fans who mistake Millie's headcanons (because...honestly that's what they are) based on what she enjoys in fiction as what The Duffers are writing & planning for the ending of Stranger Things.

Basically: as an actress, it's literally MBB's job to bring life to stories that don't necessarily reflect her own values or desires, and she knows it—but because she's been playing the character on people's screens so long (and from a young age) a lot of fans have issues separating the woman from the fiction and recognizing that (as Adam Driver once said) it's not Millie's job to have a feeling about or even agree with who El is as a person—it's her job to bring El & The Duffer's vision to life, even if her life informs how she plays the role.

None of that is particularly Millie's fault (though she, like Noah sometimes, adds fuel to fandom fire with the jokes she makes lmao), though it does get irritating to navigate when you're constantly subjected to arguments rooted in nothing but headcanons when trying to make sense of The Duffer's work itself lmao.

TL;DR - Mills joking about El and Mike getting married feels the same as someone here putting their headcanon out into the world about married & domestic Byler—only, because she's the face of Eleven + has now gotten engaged young herself, people misinterpret her own "cute headcanons" as canonical fact, leaving people who love the actual canon + who enjoy the 'style of womanhood' the Duffers write to arguing with people who misunderstand the actual characters.

Millie is a woman whose had a complicated relationship with celebrity and fame since she was a very young girl, and she has certainly made different decisions than I have (and likes different fiction than I do)—but that has nothing to do with her intelligence or ability to respond gracefully to the character she's played since 12 turning out differently than she would have imagined it if she had written El herself. If and when Byler happens, I'm sure she will meet the reality of it with respect and consideration, even if her fans (and hardcore fans of mlvn) don't lmao.

Hopefully that explains it (and doesn't get me shot for saying lmao). But thanks for the ask!

[oodlyenough]

aa3 trials and tribulations

alright after dragging my heels to get four months out of a idk 35 hour game i have finished aa3. spoilery thoughts mostly about the last case bc i played the others months ago fjglhgkf

Positive stuff:

FRANZISKA... my mvp... I loved Franziska after aa2 but she was so great here, everything I could've wanted from her lmao. My best worst girl. I LOVED having her hang out with Phoenix fhlgfhgklf incredible, showstopping, spectacular. Their dynamic is sooo much fun and I also really liked seeing her interact with the witnesses outside of the courtroom, and how she tries to establish her authority but uses that authority to try and comfort them, etc -- she gets mad at Phoenix when he isn't complimentary enough of Sister Bikini lol, she takes control of the sacred cavern situation, she bullies Edgeworth into selfcare garden sulking after the earthquake, etc. It was really interesting and kind of sweet, in her way, it was nice to see that side of her. I can easier see how she and Adrian ended up with their weird gay thing although I have to admit Franmaya remains my Franziska ship of choice. (Just yesterday I was telling someone "I want Franziska to show Maya how to use her whip"... so close and yet so far Capcom.)

Defense attorney Edgeworth was awesome what a fun idea, and the Edgeworth/Franziska court battle ruled. I think I talked about it a lot at the time so I won't dwell much but lmao. wonderful. you're both sooooo bonkers

The Fey family drama! Cool af! Love a matriarchal society of women murdering each other. Amazing. I was spoiled for bits and pieces but not for Misty, which was a great surprise, I had expected they'd just leave that thread hanging but resolving it was the correct choice. I also loved that this game gave a bit more of a nod to Mia. I had said in my previous reaction post that I loved Mia having her own lil Moriarty in Dahlia and their showdown was so fun. Get her ass Mia. Pull each other's hair in the afterlife.

The actual plot mystery stuff in this case was great. I was able to do 3-4 and 3-5 without any walkthrough help AND without banging my head into a wall, which really does make it more fun, lol. You feel clever for solving it without feeling like it's being spoonfed. Or at least I didn't feel it was spoonfed :P and I guessed wrong about some things.

I loved Dahlia LMAO she was fr on the stand like "Your honour I was born evil and I died evil and I'm still evil now. Peace". I sort of expected she'd have mixed emotions at least about Iris but uh nope. Choose a way to born: Evil Baby. You could probably say something about AA returning to these cartoonishly evil villains to smooth over any of the ethical quandaries probably but tbh for the most part I just find it fun. Whatever. Cant a girl have hobbies (poisoning, failure).

Less positive stuff:

I was surprised and disappointed to not get a send-off epilogue screen for Edgeworth or Franziska 😔 they just kind of disappeared in the back end of the case, and while I don't have an issue focusing on the Feys in the end, the Edgeworth/Franziska stuff felt a bit unresolved to me, to not even get a few lines when Oldbag and Larry do. I guess Capcom wants me to play AAI (... sort of. not enough to port it or translate it :P).

Two finale cases in a row shelved Maya for a considerable portion. She got much more to do here, in the end -- her as Nick's last witness was very good, and obv she's central to the whole case -- than in 2-4, but I still felt her absence.

And I do wish we'd gotten to see more of Edgeworth and Phoenix interacting - they're sort if implied to be spending time off screen but I would like to see it.jpeg, I thought he was gonna be a more active part of the case after trial day 1. Since AA1 it often feels like the game is juggling characters so I can have like, one fave with me at a time but not more lol. Rude.

The Iris/Phoenix stuff was 🙄 I realize it's futile to be mad about like, token heterosexuality in a 20+ year old video game, but 🙄 lol. Also naturally I spent most of the game believing Dahlia had grudgingly put up with Feenie while dreaming of murder for 8 months and that's so much funnier than the truth turned out to be, lmao. Her eternal torment.

I couldn't stand Godot lmao I didn't like him at the start of the game and by the end I hated him. His gimmick was boring to me at best, I found him deeply condescending and sexist in the case with Mia, and then obviously 3-5 just sent all of that overdrive. The upswing was that he was the killer so that was satisfying for me lmfao. Throw the book at him judge.

Overall:

I see why this is often called the best game. The overarching stories all tied together well, I can see how the cases of the week led into the finale even if I hated one of em (mask de masque do NOT interact), the puzzles are good while being solvable, and there are some really really great fun moments of character stuff in here for almost everyone.

Having said that, I think the first game is still my fave. Its comparatively limited scope meant each major character got their moment, Maya and Edgeworth are my besties and it's the only time I actually got to have both of them around at the same time. And Turnabout Goodbyes is just so good and so is Rise from the Ashes.

I'm sad the trilogy is over 😔 while I wait for 4-6 to get ported I'll play TGAA and AAI, but not sure in which order, and in either case I'm gonna miss my best friend Phoenix Wright. Luv u buddy

[thehopelessexception]

"And I've been a forest fire I am a forest fire And I am the fire and I am the forest And I am a witness watching it"

there are some tears dropping from my eyes while im writing this. i guess it's nothing. im feeling myself changing and i dont know how to make it stop.

i dont know how to explain it, but i feel like something is wrong with me. i mean, ive always felt like something was wrong, but rn, i can feel it crawling from the inside, wanting to take over my head. and i dont know how to make it stop, how to go back to my old self. because i loved myself then, i felt comfortable and confident in it. but now, i feel like im just my body, and theres nothing left.

i always thought i was smart, i always thought i was somehow brilliant. also, people recognized that of me. life has proven it already, a million times over. but right now, i feel like my head is completely empty. i feel empty all the time, but right now it's like nothing i say matters, because theres nothing there. it feels like i have to prove myself, and i cant. and each time, it gets harder and harder to get in touch with that old self.

i dont know where reality is anymore. i dont know what time it is. i dont know what i did yesterday, or a minute ago. i dont know what day it is or what i have to do tomorrow. i feel like the faces of my friends arent there anymore. i dont think i feel lonely, but the world isnt there. i always felt lonely, but now im the only one wandering the world and i dont know if it's because im being ignored or if everything just feels turned off, and im slowly turning off too.

i mean, i always felt like i was alone, but it was a me problem. right now, it feels different. it's like the world isnt there, it's like nothing is there. i dont know where that person is anymore, and i dont feel like i am this person, and i dont like it because i loved that person. i loved me, and i loved happening to be myself.

what about perception, right? i know perception is not reality, but fuck that, i dont believe it anymore. ive always been this confident being. i was so sure of what i was saying, what i was thinking, what i was feeling. but right now, it's like im inside a box that is crystal-clear, and im seeing from the inside how trees are burning down, how the city is falling, all the streets are growing woods, and then there i am, burned. and i understood what mitski meant in a burning hill.

i feel like theres no hope, and i am a hopeful person. if i dont have hope, then whats going to happen to me? is the world crumbling, or is it just me?

and there are tears falling from my eyes, and i feel nothing, like theres nothing there. im saying this out loud because im writing this with my fears. is the worst gone? is the world gone? do we just need to get a job, go to work, go back to being like ants doing their deeds just to die days later, forgotten by their peers? i dont want to be an ant.

and everything i ever believed in is gone. i dont know what to do anymore. what should we do? what should we leave behind? what should i believe in? is my existence just a joke? what if im not here? what if we're not there? whats the purpose of keeping my head up, or looking for solutions, or somehow love? and they said “love”, just as a thing that sets things in motion, but i am so static. i dont have emotions. i dont have moments. i dont have anything. is my life worthless? it’s like im not here. for the first time, it's not because im sad. it's because im scared. im scared of change, and ive been feeling it fading away. i feel my hopes, i feel my mind, my skin, and my hair and my feet, and my mouth, and my eyes fading away. i dont know how to make it stop for good. i love myself too much to disappear, but i think this time it's nothing special. it's not intentional. it's just happening without me even addressing it. i cant help but fading away. i dont recognize myself. i dont recognize my voice. i dont recognize my reflection in the mirror. i feel like theres a fire in me that i turned on and im feeling it burning everything to shreds. and it doesnt matter.

im sleeping a little. every day a little more. i cant stop thinking, and they dont really understand that theres something wrong. even if partly it is, it's not all on me. how do you breathe without oxygen? how do you breathe underwater? im walking for hours, taking wrong turns, and there are no directions worth following. i thought about dying again. to know if so i embrace peace. and sometimes i think it's no longer up to me, but to them. i dont recognize the streets where i grew up. i dont recognize the days passing, the time flying by or stagnating at my door. i dont know what the future holds, or if i even said it or just thought about it. and i dont feel the love or the humanity. i dont feel any smiles. i feel like all the parts of me are fighting with each other, not to stand out, but to hide better. and suddenly, i find myself not recognizing which one of them i am because they're all trying so hard not to be any. they opened the cage to fears, and gets reconfigured, the attachment and pity for my past self. nostalgia becomes innocuous and pathetic in feeling. i dont know where i am. i walk because that's what movement does. i breathe because that’s how lungs do it, and i write because my hands want it that way. but i dont know where she is or who is holding her. i dont remember her eyes, nor her laugh. i dont remember what made her happy, nor do i remember what made her angry. i dont recognize what she was wearing. i dont know what she believed in or what she would give her life for. i dont know who she loves or who she hates. i dont know what her favorite color was either. i only know that i loved her. my last memory is opening the cage to the interest, whose greed disarranged my head. where is she? where are you? i dont want this. i want you to come back. i see the sun become the moon, and i feel it night. the gathering of personalities escaping and climbing the walls before the adults arrive to put things in order has become an orphanage. in the kettle over the fire i see strangers, and also at the mirrors. how did you drink the tea?

parts of me are just breaking loose, outside of myself. if i along my arms, i cannot catch them. i tried, i tried, and i tried, and i cannot keep them. i dont know what i think about stuff anymore. i have a position on everything. i can talk about everything, i know everything, ive learned lots of things. i love knowing, knowledge, and i love to answer questions and to raise my voice. but i dont remember it anymore; i forgot how to do it. every time i try to fix it, i feel like im up in the pits. i feel like im acting the parts on the starring role even when it’s my own movie. im not in the script; im just the voice begging it to do it better. do it better, you're not like this. do it fucking better! and i look from the outside at this person, and i dont know her. and i want to be clear about this: nothing happened to me, it just clicked because ive been dissociating for ten months now. and i feel like every day im not close to being myself again. every day it's harder to remember that person. and i have high migraines, my head hurts, and my tears keep falling even though im not crying. and the fire is getting bigger and bigger, im watching it surrounding me. im surrounded there, like i surrendered to the life i have, but i dont feel.

and i was thinking the other day —not today—, ive always felt like i was incapable of being loved. what if this actually happens and what if i fall in love? what if this person wants a child? because i dont know if i can have a child, not because of something specific i guess, but because i know i cant. it's not that i dont want it, i know i cant. im not sure im capable of that mentally.

what if i grow old? whats going to happen then? because im living the best years of my life doing absolutely nothing. the clock is ticking, tick tock, tick tock, every day. i cannot see myself being pregnant. i cannot see myself being responsible for anyone or anything. how can i find love if i dont find it for generations? because i want the magic of being loved by a child and i want it to have my face. i have nothing against adopting a kid, i think that's probably one of the plan b's, but i want that magic of genetics too. i want to know that magic. maybe i never actually thought of that, that much.

i am asking so many questions that a year ago i remember i knew how to answer to. and every time i breathe, i exhale. every time i close my eyes, i think i need to stop. i need to stop thinking for my own sake because i dont have the answers to anything, when i used to have them all. i dont know who i am anymore. i dont know what i want anymore. i dont know what to love anymore, what to believe in, and i dont know whats supposed to be. im so tired.

[rabidcriterion]

bro im so.

we're having a renovation on our bathroom right now. its the only one in the house, so it's fucked up my morning routine for heading out to work significantly. you know porta potties? well apparently they make porta showers too!! my bedroom also shares a wall with the bathroom, so we had to remove all of the photo frames and anything else off the wall so it won't fall and break.

on top of that, my relatives who live in the country just so happened to have to visit (they couldn't possibly stay in a hotel, apparently it's an entirely new skill for my newrly 50 year old mother to say no) and stay for about a week. they go to bed early and wake early, which means that every night at 9pm every light in the house had to be off, and if i needed water (which i would usually go to the bathroom to get) or pain management or anything else, i couldnt get it.

i returned from being away over the weekend to find the pillows from my bed were missing because my parents had decided to clean them, and didn't bother putting them back

all of these small changes have had a pretty big impact on my life at home, before the renovation i sold/donated a lot of my stuff that was just taking up space, and because of removing the photos from the wall there is still just as much clutter lying around as there was before. sellijg and donating that stuff took a lot of effort for minimal impact, and i only did that because my parents suggested it. i am finding it all very stressful.

so then my mother comes up to me in the kitchen this morning, whispering even though i have music blasting through my headphones. i take a second to pause what's playing and remove my headphones to hear her better and then she repeats about the same thing she just said. for no reason she repeats herself again, all without getting to the actual fucking point of what she was saying. it also sounded like she was telling me to do something. after her failing to tell me what it was for the third time in a row, i asked if she could get to the point, and then she told me i was rude and stormed off.

i dont know why this is pissing me off so much. i guess being 25 years old and having no other options but to live at home is why. i fully can't be an adult when my parents are around. i cant cook because theyre already putting on dinner every night when i get home, except for when they arent, in which case they dont always tell us. i went out last night for around an hour and was home by 10pm. on a friday night. my mum cracked it at me because i didnt tell her i was going anywhere. (mind you, if i mentioned i was going anywhere, i wouldnt be! she wouldnt allow it)

oh also i came home yesterday and found the one pillow thats been missing from my bed for a week, which i was beginning to think my parents had thrown out. it was thrown into a corner and had black marks on it where there were none before. what was the fucking point in washing it then if it was only going to get dirtier?

[pwblogarchive]

July 2006

July 1, 2006

“sex and the city (the part theyll never tell you)”

its strange here this time of year. because the weather never changes.it is always summer here. so it doesnt feel like the same desperate love of these three pages on the calendar. or at least not what i am used to.patrick and i wrote a song yesterday. not a hit single or maybe anything that would even turn your head.noone knows how it goes.sometimes the worst wishes are the ones that come true.yellow and white lines to the coast.you can learn to love anything if its around enough.some people learn to love their mistakes.shakes hands. "thank you, our time is up".what keeps you coming back?i got a long rap sheet.(the statute of limitations is running out on you pretty fast).the powders wet. the sparks arent coming.the hammer isnt hitting. its spinning.you can learn to love anything.posted by xo @ 11:22 PM

July 5, 2006

the last thing i think of before i fall asleep and the first thing i think of when i wake

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst- you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.

haveanicelife

Posted by xoat 6:06 AM

June 5, 2006

Stick around long enough and everyone becomes parody of themselves 

you dont hate me, you hate the part of you that is like me. i cant sit here and ride my flaws until the end because the truth is i live the charmed life because of you and them. we are a gang. maybe its time to disband. im not sure i am thinking clearly but i just want you to know that i waited on you guys calls all night- they never came. i just wanted to say i miss you or im sorry or you know something that would have meant something to you. i would have made it poetic and memorable or at least something you could laugh at while drifting off to sleep. always trying to relive the glory days.

i dont care how poorly these sentences were constructed or how in the light of day i will wish i had not written them- right now i can only curse the fucking light off of this stupid western city because it wont ever get dark enough for sleep but otherwise how could you guide your way back here?

my head always feels warm right before i pass out, i always worry that there is something wrong and i wont wake up or you know i will. promise me that you wont take anything i ever say too seriously.

July 7, 2006

“his and hers”

sometimes i cant wait to be forgotten.i wish i could put up an away message in real life and just go to sleep forever.posted by xo @ 3:10 AM

July 7, 2006

“im so sorry, but not really. ('straighten up and die right’)”

i said i want to be rebuilt like a frank lloyd wright only without all of the water damage. or painted over like a monet only less blurry. she said “no, youre something different”. like what? “something better”. it gave me the rush of warm blood like you see in cartoon dogs right before their eyes pop out and all of the bells go off. my head is spinning like a car off of an icy guardrail. show me what you are made of. your eyes were always rolling but youd tilt your head so they were somehow always still stuck on me (have your cake and eat it too). i feel safe but not like a bet more like the way mothers feel when the lock the car doors in bad neighborhoods. i am blue waves across the red rootlike veins in the bodies drawn flat in medical books. i wonder at the way that someone can write thousands and thousands of pages about my insides. when i met you i gave you a name- not your own- but in my head so i wouldnt ever mix you up with anyone so ordinary- i cant tell you- but to me it meant salvation. you only wanted reaction. but i cant be bothered. not anymore. ill see you in the spring. first pew on the left. wear your white veil and dont forget the words. warped tour. sun drenched days. bestfriends. new roads. so long salvation. dont worry your pretty little heads. i am sleeping safe tonight.

July 8, 2006

“the fraternal order of the handsome boy”

ive been watching you from afar

my breath on the inside window as you walk in from the car

candy caned lies in red and white against clashing patterns bending in and out of understanding.

"youre the stranger ive been dreaming of", stranger than any ive ever known.

love through a telescopic lens. when the air is clear i can see how perfect you are for me.

late at night when the city sleeps i cast a spell on you

to make you think of me the very same way i think of you.

i only love how the words feel in my head when i write them.

fireworks over the valley. how can i tell you i gut people for a living.

that everything you say is likely to end up as evidence when i rewrite history.

over and over again.

how everything you do reminds me of something else, someone else.

how im humble and arrogant at the same time,

chased and never caught.

that i just want to stay up late and wake up early to talk to you.

that i want to show you all of my jealousy and insecurity and have you not care.

youre like a light switch and i just want to turn you on and watch them all shrink away.

the words come out of my fingertips on impulse. it is instinct. my head cant keep up.

i envy the comatose. i admire the bedridden.

i am addicted to the way i feel when i think of you.

"im blowing smoke rings around the moon...."

i wish i was the exact opposite of how the world knows me.

Posted by xoat 2:36 AM

July 11, 2006

we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes).

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.

my personality and everything about me is just a carefully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.

i am (not) real.

sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.

its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.

all i can do is read and write and wait.

ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.

Posted by xoat 6:32 PM

July 14, 2006

a little life, alot of death (i want to be known for my hits not my mrs.)

i should probably not be typing in this mood. i wish there was a lock on the keyboard. it is too enthralling in a state like this. just like all of this has always been. the world around me has changed as if overnight. "for someone so smart you are acting pretty stupid". i cant focus on but like three thoughts in my head but i am compeltely wrapped in them. they keep me warm at night. i pray for something to crash into me and smash me back to something more simple. i pray for fistfights so i cant be knocked out and wake up in the e.r. i wish for disaster so i can be razed. im telling you if i could do any of it again, im pretty sure i wouldnt.

fuck your life under the microscope.

fuck your conclusions.

you have no idea.

it never got me anywhere but here.

over and over again.

every single time.

i wish for five months ago. and not in the way you would imagine either. "you are unfixable". my eyes are washed out but they dont feel clean. they are strong you know not the athletic type, but could definitely used to carrying heavy bags. im guessing in any real light i will delete this, apologies in advance. whatever caption is written next to the picture is the exact opposite of me. i am mapless. you are caught. lets go out and get forgotten.

bad news travels fast. and i am the worst of it.

i will always remember the day i met you.

"leave you feelings in your heart boy".

Posted by xoat 12:57 AM

July 22, 2006

“my phone cuts out in the same place every single day ("the gospel of gossip").”

it feels like there is so much to say.but it can only be said in songs.please dont go so quickly."The city with fires of night seemed an archipelagoWomen asked the love and for the dulieBut in my eyes of male horror I rememberThe busy ones of the evening were never prettyThen the day returned but sometimes without sunTo draw up the houses coast at coast at the edge of streetsWhere our lives with the other smilar lives are mislaidLives trailing their shade while passing in the streetIntercalated in the year they was widowed daysBloody and slow Fridays of burialsWhite and whole blacks come from the skies which cryWhen the woman of the devil beat her lover"guillame appolinairesend me a flashlight. i cant seem to find my faith.iwishicould.posted by xo @ 2:17 PM

July 23, 2006

“we used to talk on the phone every single day (nooneknowshowitreallygoes)”

its strange the way people will window shop on your life or score it for style and grace.my personality and everything about me is just a cerfully constructed collage of magazine articles and flashy pictures.i am (not) real.the puppy is purple after spilling a grape soda on himself. he then ate the tropic of cancer by miller. paperback, so i guess it went down easier.sometimes the days spent all by myself in my head are the scariest.its enough to make you want to pack it up and call it a day.all i can do is read and write and wait.ihavecodedmessagesforyou.aretheygettingthrough.posted by xo @ 8:32 PM

July 26, 2006

you spend every waking moment and many sleeping ones thinking of one heart, one person. you let it slip, they let it slip. who knows where it all begins or ends. but as it falls to pieces you keep grabbing them and collecting them less like for a museum of things that used to matter and more like you are going to keep putting it back together. except there are akways a few pieces missing each time. deep breaths. slow your heart beat. the road winds. there was a time before you always felt like this. try to remember pete. you are being pulled in every direction. everything is bigger under the microscope. you want it to be simple. you make it complicated. "hey, pete- i am middle ground. how come we've never met before". sometimes i wish i could re-engineer the path from my heart to the tip of my tongue and let my head have a shot at it. i dont got bigdreams, i just want to be okay. it comes down to my word versus your word versus the worlds word and i dont think i want to anymore. im worn out. my head is full, my eyes are empty. the dog loves the salt in the corners of my eyes and on my cheeks- i am nervous about cutting it from his diet. and i could and should be, and jealous of it, from the children on the street walking hand in hand with their mothers to the homeless man content with his world of a bench. and noone knows the way i spend my nights counting the individuals grains in the tiles in the bathroom, the coolness of the floor the only comfort- or if anyone does they dont want to ehar it, i cant blame you... i dont even want to hear it anymore. in the mornings the world is blurry. it comes in and out of focus. this is when im the worst. when i awake from a dream to realize that none of it was real possibly ever.one of the things stranger than realizing you are alone in this world is realizing that you are not.pupils the size of baby worlds.every bad decision is put on file for later viewing. mapquest your way back to me, take a turn for the worse and then continue for .5 miles.i want to file a restraining order against myself.and i want to be myself again looking at my reflection in your eyes from the first time i failed you. i am nostalgic for disaster. i want it back.he sleeps sound. he has no care for what buzzes and changes in the world around him.because of this i envy him.run away from a city because of one single heartbeat. it doesnt make sense.its not that i dont trust you, actually it is. and i dont trust myself when i think of you. i sell myself out.i wish you were awake right now. i just want to let myself be happy.posted by xo @ 3:53 AM

July 28, 2006

as i run away from everything i have ever known. just whisper in my ear."and the tears come streaming down your facewhen you lose something you can't replacewhen you love some one but it goes to wastecould it be worse?Lights will guide you homeAnd ignite your bonesAnd I will try to fix youHigh up above or down belowWhen you're too in love to let it goBut if you never try you'll never knowJust what you're worthLights will guide you home"so obvious. so much more brilliant than i could ever imagine to be.be bright and shine. its dark. im sorry ive come so off course.tell the pilot to clear us to land in your backyard.posted by xo @ 11:02 PM

July 30, 2006

regardless of what stars i end up under- for the best and for the worst-you have made me who i am. and i try to make myself more decent and better only because of you.happybirthday.posted by xo @ 3:05 PM

[wheretheyrot]

I think I was born to care too much.

I babysit my niece in a house full of her family, I'm the only one who plays with her without complaining until my knees are sore and my back hurts. I cant help but see myself in her, the youngest after so many kids, ignored by the older taller folks unless she screams. She's so smart, so was I. She's called bossy, so was I. She likes rice cakes and cream cheese, and a special kind of grapes, she's so much like me it makes my heart hurt.

She talks to herself like I did, making up stories in her own head. I wish I could see what she sees, think what she thinks. I wonder if time passes the same for her like it does me. Children are so full of happiness and wonder that it almost seems to come off them in waves. She names her dolls, she calls every bug a baby looking for its mother, she hands with her small, chubby ones and leans close to tell me the biggest secret in her world.

As I stand in the messy kitchen, while everyone else is asleep or busy, I spread more cream cheese on her rice cakes for her. I claim, "You ate all that up, good job! You must be getting ready to grow, girl!" and she giggles, explaining to me that she is a big girl already, and her tone makes me laugh. She tells me things like they're the most obvious fact in the whole world. I agree, she is a big girl.

Between you and me, though, I still remember when she was a chunky little baby, napping beside me, crawling after me, babbling incoherently. I remember when she couldn't say my name right, and I remember the confused little turn when my sister told her to give something to my desdname, and she saw nobody who fit the name. Yesterday she told me, "Mummy called you a girl, isn't that silly?" I wish everyone was a kind as she was about that. I wish misgendering trans people could be reduced to something dumb and silly by their own little toddlers.

She told me my boyfriend doesn't sound like a boy, and I said some boys have high voices. She giggled, I think she understood. My sister lectures me constantly, saying that it's no big deal. I agree, it's not. I tell her things if she asks, and she asked if I was a boy, I said yes, that was that. I hope the world never ruins that for her. I wish, as silly as wishing is, that I could protect her forever abd ever, and nobody would ever be cruel to her, or teach her cruelty.

[theluxuriansecret]

Diary Entry 6.18.2024

Dear Diary,

I haven't felt this consistently anxious in a really long time. It is really starting to get to me. I had my phone on DND all day and cried when I got home. I know that the answers lay within me, I just have to dig them out. I hate that I don't take the time to write (or type) as much as I used to, and I need to start getting back to my routine. I swear I say that every week and yet there is something about life that does not help me stick to it. I understand that life throws you curve balls sometimes, but I feel like.. why cant I dodge any of them? Why must I fall off every single time? I am starting to grow frustrated with myself because I feel as though there are too many outside factors starting to effect me. I try to let the emotions flow through me, but then it becomes everything at once and I can't handle it.

To begin, my moms misery is truly starting to rub off on me I feel. On Sunday, it was fathers day, my grandma didn't feel too well so we all went to dinner as 4, it has been a really long time since we did that. For the most part, I think dinner went really well. We were all laughing, making jokes, even my brother was participating. Until my mom brought up the fact that she's the one thats been cleaning out the fridge, they got a little loud about it, but my dad ultimately thanked her for cleaning out the fridge on his day. It was true, my dad was not holding up his end of the chores so naturally it fell onto my mom. I can completely understand her frustrations, but sometimes I wish she could put her misery aside for the rest of her family. That seems like such a selfish thing to wish for, but for a moment it felt like we were normal again, until she made it incredibly clear that we weren't. The food was really good though.

Moving on, but similar topic, my mother and I have really been butting heads. I just feel like some space would be really nice. I wish I had my own space, I wish I could just have the people I wanted over with out a three day notice. I wish that I didn't have to tell her every detail of every part of my plans. I appreciate her being such an incredible parent, I appreciate the fact that she is very attentive in my life and knows my friends names, and what they mean to me etc, but sometimes it just becomes too much. DO NOT get me wrong, I love that both of my parents are alive and I am grateful, but I cannot help but think about how I am trapped in these four wells, shrinking. In this house I feel small and helpless.

One of my friendships I truly feel is on the fence. Yesterday, my 4 friends and I went to dinner and one of them (one that I share a tattoo with) made a face at our other friend (who we also share the tattoo with) because I laughed a little loud. I have a really loud laugh, it's true, and it may have been right in her ear, but not on purpose. But I just felt like making fun of me right in front of me was truly rude, and I feel like this is the same thing I've dealt with in the past. I feel like she likes me, but she also doesn't like me. I think she enjoys my company, but also just doesn't like me. I don't know what that means. She has made sly comments, and faces and other uncomfortable remarks before, but I always decided to let it slide because they were moments where I wanted to just keep the peace and enjoy my night, but right now I do not feel peace, I feel very far from it actually, and I hate that. I've decided I am not going to be as present in her life as I want right now, not a full removal, but a full step back. I've done way too much for that girl or her to treat me as she does, it's just not right.

Lastly - I love my boyfriend, things are gong well on paper, but something feels off. I asked him if we were in good standing and he said yes, he also emphasized how our relationship was good in a situation that happened in his own life. I can't help but wonder why he hasn't told me he loves me without me saying it first in a week. I don't want to assume anything, or put anything negative out there. but I swear it started a week ago. And i know he has been going through things on his own so I try to give not only myself grace, but him as well. I also try to remind myself that no matter happens outside of me, it is not a reflection of me. I have enjoyed the experience thus far, and just like anything else in this life, it is an experience. I am grateful to experience all that I have in the years I have spent on this earth, and I will continue to the years count on.

no tags today, xoxo

[swiftfootedachilles]

people are so weird how are u gonna bash a well meaning person and then refuse?? to tell them?? WHY you’re bashing them?? if ur post was offensive then explain why jesus christ this is not how u have healthy useful dialogue with people, it’s just piling unnecessary hate and cruelty on someone. i’m really sorry you’re being treated so shittily by this fandom, i love your posts.

hey thank you so much for this. the handful of people ive talked to have been very understanding of my side and agree that it seems like this person already didn't like me and was looking for a way to renounce me+my posts

truly, i don't know why she feels my posts are offensive. i hate the idea that a jewish person feels i was antisemitic and fetishizing jewish culture. i researched antisemitic fetishization tropes in opera during my undergrad program. ive always tried my hardest to understand minority communities that i am not a part of, without overstepping and seeming like a white knight/savior. i have always been guided through life by my ethics and a burning need for social justice. i want to fix this!

i was really pissed off yesterday and used more aggressive language in my posts and replies. today my head is clearer but im just as confused. i never expect minorities to do the emotional labor of researching topics for me and handing everything over on a silver platter. i will gladly educate myself, but i cant do that when i don't know what i did wrong. this isn't a situation where i did something clearly wrong and there's an obvious gap in my understanding - ive asked multiple friends where they feel i went wrong, and all of them have said they aren't sure

one very kind person messaged me about how, from an outsiders perspective, they were reminded of other situations where autistic people have their words or actions purposefully misinterpreted, and that seriously opened my eyes. OBVIOUSLY im not saying this person is accusing me of antisemitism because she hates autistic people. but i have often experienced people purposefully misrepresenting me and getting mad without explanation. everything starts out good, great even, and i build a script with which to interact with others. but eventually, you get very comfortable and stop following a script, start to unmask a little. and suddenly all hell breaks loose.

you're not acting right. you said the wrong thing. who would say something like that? so inappropriate. and when you ask for clarification because you genuinely do not know what you did wrong, all you receive are eyerolls and more hate because you should already know this, im not gonna spoonfeed everything to you. you're an adult figure it out yourself.

like i said, i don't think she's, like, hating on me for being autistic. i think ive gained a certain reputation (of what i don't know) in the shameless fandom, and people are projecting their preexisting judgement into me. this means that they don't actually want me to apologize. they don't care. they think i am already not a good person and just want to point that out to me to shame me into saying sorry because they think it'll knock me down a few pegs. whatever. my real offline life is much worse than getting mildly ganged up on on the internet. ill survive. i still want to finish my mickey embroidery and my edits/webweavings and my fics. maybe i will, maybe i won't. like ive mentioned many times before, i have pretty bad rejection sensitive dysphoria and i need to be reassured i will get feedback on my works before i ever post them. my fics were already being ignored by most of the big fandom writers - i think those will just have to be scrapped because i genuinely cannot take hollowing out my chest and putting it to paper only to get a few nice comments/kudos. the embroidery though, that's for me. i definitely wanna do it. the other original posts like webweavings, idk maybe i really don't know

[dr4cking]

I could request a smut with draco post war, where he and his wife (reader) have tried to have sex but their young children always interrupt them in some way, so they give it to cissy to take care of so they can have privacy. Thank you and only if you feel comfortable writing this request😊😊

Interruption.

masterlist taglist

draco malfoy x reader | smut | anon requested.

a/n : hi! thank you for requesting! this one is a really cute idea 😂💞

draco twisted the doorknob entering the house with his sleeping 5 year old son on his hips, the familiar scent tickling his nose as he step into their house, a smile crept up to his face as he sees the mother of his kid busying herself in the kitchen.

“hi dray, he’s asleep?” y/n whispers, walking to her husband, examining their son and she smiles as she sees her son sleeping peacefully resting his head on his father’s shoulder.

“he is, love. i think he got exhausted after playing all day in the park, lemme put this little guy on his bed first okay?” draco said as he kisses her forehead before heading into his son’s bedroom.

draco put scorpius carefully on his bed, pulling the cover up to his small body, he chuckles internally as he watched that scorpius is a spitting image of him. he left a kiss on his forehead as he closed the door quietly then head downstairs going back to his wife.

“hey, how’s your day? i miss you so much, love” draco put his hand around y/n’s waist startling her, he buried his face onto the crook of her neck inhaling his favorite scent making her giggles.

“i miss you too, dray. its been lovely, how about you hmm? did you have fun with our little guy?” y/n said not turning back as she still chopping the carrots.

“we did but he kinda took out all of my energy, you know what that means, right?” draco smirked as he pressed her back closer to his chest, his hands started to groping around her body.

“d-draco scorpius is s-sleeping” y/n said between her moans as her husband pressed her ass against his crotch and rubbing it behind her, she gripped the knife harder.

“then we’ll have to be quiet” he turns her around pushing her back against the table carefully, quickly catching her lips on his, kissing his wife hungrily moaning instantly into the kiss. she broke the kiss to catch some breath.

“f-fuck y/n” draco let out a whispered moan into her ear as he starts grinding his boner on her core, y/n throw her head back in pleasure feeling butterflies errupted in her stomach as he starts to trailing kisses down on her neck and still grinding on her.

“god its been so long since the last time, baby. i cant believe we managed to last that long” y/n chuckles at his words but turns into a hitched moan as draco pulled down the straps of her dress and latching his lips onto her nipple sucking on it, she interlocked her hand with his hair.

“no bra, yeah? as if you know you were gonna get fucked” y/n bites down her bottom lip, her eyes never leaving her husband who started to go down kissing her stomach, she gets more excited as he lifts up the bottom of her dress and kissing her inner thighs.

“d-draco please-” y/n hooked one of her leg onto his shoulder as he pushes her panties aside, he was about to gives all her craving but-

“mommy, daddy!” both of them froze as they heard a small footsteps approaching them, they quickly redressing themselves and act normal as their son run to y/n, hugging her leg.

“whats wrong baby?” y/n asked worriedly as she gets down on his level, patting his head.

“i’m having a nightmare mommy” she places soft kisses to all over his face to calm him down then she looks at draco who still held the frustation on his face, she wanted to laugh but she remember that her baby needs her right now.

“c’mon daddy lets put scorpius back in his room” y/n teasingly said running her fingers on his cheek, draco clenched his jaw gritting his teeth as he realizes what his wife playing at.

“you’re gonna regret that, babygirl” draco whispers into her ear as she walking the three of them to scorpius’s bedroom, he walked behind her and squeezing her ass, he smirks when he heard her gasped.

after an hour of reading scorpius a book, telling him a story, he finally gets back into his sleep but y/n and draco are too tired to continuing what they were about to do in the kitchen.

y/n look up to her husband who already staring at her, her mouth agape as she watches draco mouthed “i’m still horny” to her. holding out her laughter she shook her head.

“not now draco, we almost get caught by our son” y/n said quietly cant help but chuckles lowly when she sees draco whining and rubbing his face in frustration.

>>>>>

the next day comes, draco was sitting on his chair working through something, a quill on his hand and a parchment in front of him. then he heard rustling behind him, he turns around to find his beloved wife, only in a towel.

y/n gives him a wink and motioning him to come over making draco gulped, he made his way to her as fast as possible then pulling her closer by her waist, his lips immediately founding hers, his hand goes to unwrap the towel and it falls down onto the floor.

draco let out a grunts as he sees y/n’s exposed body he was getting hard by the seconds, he grabbed her by her thighs and placed her on his desk. his hands roaming around her body.

y/n moans softly when she feels draco sucking on her nipple, his hand playing with the other and his free hand rubbing her clit collecting the wetness, he brought his fingers into his mouth sucking it hungrily making y/n whimpers at his action. draco was about to pulls down his sweatpants until he heard a soft knocks on the door, he groaned in frustration.

“mommy, daddy? i’m so bored, can we go get an ice cream?” scorpius yelled behind the door making draco frustrated more.

y/n melted at her son’s voice, quickly getting a piece of clothes and putting it on, draco look at her in disbelief.

“are you serious, y/n?” draco loves his son so much but he always had a bad timing.

“draco he wants to get an ice cream, i cant say no to him, later okay? now c’mon” y/n chuckles at his pouted face, she kisses the tip of his nose and leading him with her to approaching their child.

after hours taking a walk and getting an ice cream per their son’s wishes, they go back to the house.

draco took a seat on the couch in their living room reading daily prophet while his wife and his kid starts to playing together in front of him, enjoying their day off but suddenly an owl barging into the house making the three of them turning their heads at it. draco raised his eyebrows in confusion as he takes the letter from the owl.

y/n rose up from the floor wanting to see who was sending them a letter, scorpius still unbothered playing with his toys.

“oh its from mother” draco said as he opened the enveloped.

Dear Draco & Y/n,

How are you? I havent heard anything about the three of you, I sent this letter to tell you both that Lucius & I missed our grandchild so much, I was hoping that he could stay for a little bit in the Manor, we wanted to spend some time with him. I wish you all healthiness as always.

Narcissa.

“perfect.” draco smirked as he finishes reading his mothers’ letter looking up to his wife with a sly grin making her blush.

“scorp?” he called out his son smiling at him as scorpius turning his head to listen to his father.

“do you want to stay with your grandmother and grandfather? they said they missed you and will be happy if you’re staying with them for awhile.”

“really? of course yes dad!! i missed them so much, mommy please pack my stuff” scorpius shouted happily, jumping around with his toy in his hand making his parents laugh at their boy’s cuteness.

in the evening, draco, y/n and scorpius apparated to the Malfoy Manor. lucius and narcissa already waiting at the front door welcoming the little family happily. scorpius runs to his grandmother and she picked him up kissing his cheeks.

“draco, y/n aren’t you staying too?” lucius asked as he watched the couple didnt go inside with them.

“uh father actually we were kinda busy- the work is stuffing up our faces.. but thank you for willing to take care of scorpius” draco nervously said as lucius looked at them in confusion but after connecting the dots together, he nods giving his son a smirk.

“sure sure, have fun you two” y/n widen her eyes but quickly laughed it off, the pair blushing madly because of draco’s father words but draco hurriedly takes her hand in his and apparating back to their house saving them from embarrassment.

as they appeared back in their house draco opened the door and shoving his wife inside kicking the door behind them as he pushed y/n against it.

“woah woah slow down draco” y/n laughs at her husband aggressiveness but interrupted by his lips capturing hers, she returns the kiss with the same passion, moans slipped off of her as draco undressing both of them.

“fuck- i cant take it anymore baby wanna take you right here right now” draco places wet kisses on her neck, marking every inch of her skin. he slowly get down after he finished assaulting her neck, continuing what he was doing yesterday, but now without any interruptions.

“draco.. oh- fuck” y/n couldnt control her moans anymore as draco drowned his head between her thighs eating her out making his wife squirming and scratching on the door.

draco let out a hum at the taste of her, he was hungry he eats her out like a starved men, its not only for her but for his pleasure too. y/n’s moan ringing in his ear filling the house making he gets more hungrier, he inserts his fingers into her thrusting and curling them inside of her making her body shake, his tongue skillfully playing with her clit.

“oh my god draco.. i-im so close!” y/n warned him, she was closer than she thought, after she said that she felt her orgasm snapped through her body, a loud moan of her husband’s name escaped her lips, it feels too good.

“fuck i missed this, babygirl. taste so fucking delicious.” draco hummed as he lapping up her juices closing his eyes at the taste, he was longing for it.

draco stand up after he finished, looking at y/n who was still catching her breath, he chuckles deeply before reconnecting their lips, shoving his tongue down her throat letting her taste herself, he squeezes her ass giving it a few slaps before placing one of her legs on his waist and he starts to lining his cock on her glistening cunt. whimpers and begging came out from her mouth.

“h-holyfuck y/n feels so good” draco groans as he bottomed fully inside her letting her adjust for a second before picking up his pace, he starts to rocked in and out of her, her walls clenching and squeezing hard around him making it impossible for him to last longer.

y/n’s body bouncing up and down uncontrollably against the door, all she cares now was getting her high again and feeling her husband’s cum filling her up. she rolled her hips fucking him back, loud moan left her lips as the head of his brushing her spot, draco took a notice and pounding harder into thek spot making her seeing the stars.

“fuck fuck fuck y/n im gonna fucking come if you keep doing that.” draco wrapped both of her legs on his waist the new angle making his cock going deeper inside her, he screams her name as y/n starts to pulsing around him signaling she was close, he sneaked one of his hand and rubbed a small circle on her clit making her body jolted out at the double pleasure.

“yes- yes.. oh my god im cumming daddy!” y/n doesnt care about her words anymore as she lets her second orgasms washed over her- wait no she’s.. she just squirted all over draco.

“holy shit! that was so fucking hot.. gonna give you all of my cum until you carry my second child.. f-fuck y/n take all of me!” draco screams her name out loud as he stilled, shooting all of his semen into his wife filling her womb non stop until some of it dripped out of her but he quickly pushing it back inside not letting it go to waste.

draco is still inside her, both of their bodies shaking from their intense orgasms. y/n look up to him, sweats running on his forehead, his blonde hair messy, mouth hung open to steadying his breath, he looks like a god.

they continue their activities for a whole days, now without interruptions. rounds after rounds, on the couch, on the desk, against the walls, in their room, in the bathroom, basically everywhere in their house, it was like they were making up for the lost times.

and a month after, lucius and narcissa were given a news, that draco and y/n are expecting their second child.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

tagging : @dracoscum

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