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natashaslesbian · 1 year ago

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We Saved Each Other (Part Three)

Summary: Natasha finds herself feeling protective over you when you have to go and see Doctor Bruce

Word Count: 1.9k

Parings (Natasha Romanoff x Kid!Reader)

Warnings/Content: Red Room references, medical check up, needles, crying, Fury appears, Nat being the biggest softie

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You woke up with a slight panic, the unfamiliar feeling of the sheets over your skin confusing your small brain. You reached out a single arm and folded it over to pull on your cuffs, but they didn’t seem to be there. You peered around the dimly lit room and your gaze caught a larger frame on the floor, sprawled out with curly red locks. So - yesterday hadn’t been a dream? You were still in your fluffy clothes and in the company of the one person who had ever shown you kindness. Almost on cue, Natasha began to stir. She groaned slightly, probably relieving the ache in her neck from sleeping on the floor. You pulled the duvet up to your chin, afraid the woman would see you and change her mind at hospitality she was offering you. When the redhead saw you were awake too, she smiled. So warmly. So calmly. “Good morning sweetheart!” Her soft nature had you itching to smile back “did you sleep well darling?” She asked, you only managed a nod. Natasha peeled herself from the floor and came to sit beside you, she opened her hand towards you “it’s okay, you’re still safe I promise” she could read you so well. You reached your hand out and slotted it into hers. “No chain?” You whispered.

The older widows heart dropped. They still did that? “No, no chains darling, you’re free to leave the bed whenever you’d like” this was so alien to you, but you sucked in a sharp breath and used your feet to push down the duvet and reach your other arm to Nat. She helped you down off the bed “thank you” you said “you’re very welcome, would you like some breakfast?” You couldn’t quite remember the last time you had eaten, and you were definitely hungry “no thank you” you lied. “It’s alright, you can have something to eat if you’d like” Natasha said “bread?” You questioned, “how about some toast?” You thought inquisitively “toast?” You had never heard of it before “it’s just like bread” the agent started “but it’s warm and you can but butter or jam on top” you were defiantly curious now “please may I have toast?” You smiled “of course”

You decided you wanted to have whatever Natasha was having on her toast, and today she chose butter. You watched her every move as she prepared the simple breakfast. “Here we are” she said. It was almost comical how excited you were over such a basic food but Natasha knew your taste buds hadn’t explored much at the red room. “Is it good?” She said “yes! So tasty!” You squealed, making the most noise you had since Natasha met you, she was loving seeing more of your personality. Unfortunately, that didn’t last long. “Good morning agent Romanoff!” Fury loudly made his presence known. You slid right back into your shell, not daring to look up from your plate “good morning” Romanoff said. “I’ve set up a doctors appointment for the young one, in an hour at the tower with doctor Banner, I thought you might like to take her there” take you where? To see a doctor? Didn’t Natasha say you were safe? The red head sensed your tension and came to Fury for a quiet word “um, is there any chance doctor Cho could see her? She might feel more comfortable with a female” she said “she’s away I’m afraid, it’s doctor Banner or no one” Fury boomed “he’s just gonna give her a check up and take some blood so we can get some information on her” Natasha felt her blood rising “she’s not a lab rat” she shot at her superior “No. but she is entirely unidentified to us. We don’t even know her name. It’s not to scare her Romanoff, it’s to help her okay. Try not to worry. I understand it’s close to home but I promise we’ll keep her safe” Nick’s words calmed Nat slightly, she still knew you would be terrified but she also knew this was important. Who knew what injury’s you could have.

You followed Natasha’s every instruction. Followed her to the car. Sat silently the whole journey. Quietly followed her into the avengers tower. Of course she was looking out for you, trying to assure you that you were safe but you were still scared. “Okay little one” she said as she came down to your level outside of a white door “my really good friend Bruce is a doctor, and he’s going to have a little look at you okay? He’s going to make sure that you’re well and that you’re not hurting. I promise he won’t hurt you” you hoped and prayed that ‘doctor Banner’ would be a girl, but no, instead it was a man, your biggest nightmare. The door opened to reveal a small hospital room, medical equipment littered everywhere, and everything you were afraid of was clear to your eyes. You couldn’t step foot in there. Silent tears crept towards your eyes and the widow was instantly at your side “hey, hey, hey, it’s alright. You’re safe I promise. I’m gonna be here the whole time and I’ll protect you, I promise!” She soothed, it worked for a moment and you crept towards the bed “can I lift you up?” Nat asked, you nodded. You sat in a nervous quietness and as promised, Natasha stayed right by your side. The door crashed open. A doctor came in. You whined quietly and leaned towards Nat. She was slightly took by surprise but immediately wrapped her arm around your shoulders, shushing you softly.

“Hi there, I’m Bruce” the doctor said. He had been filled in on the basics so decided to skip most of the small talk. You apprehensively let him check your temperature, eyesight and blood pressure. At the mention of having to look over your body for injury you focused your attention to the red head. “You don’t have to be ashamed of them, remember?” She said, quoting from your conversation last night. While keeping your dignity, you undressed and sceptically let Bruce take a look at you. He took notes, so many notes on his clipboard. He was probably writing down everything that was wrong with you. Banner made the examination as quick as possible, sensing how uncomfortable you were. He was glad to note down that you didn’t appear to have any recent injuries. “Ok” he said “there’s just one last thing we need to do okay. We need to have a blood test to make sure you’re all healthy inside and so we can learn a little more about you” what did they need to know? There’s nothing wrong with you. “It’s just a quick little prick darling. It’ll be over before you know it. And then I can find out your name. I’m sure it’s just as beautiful as my new friend” you didn’t quite understand her, who was she calling beautiful? Bruce tried to be discreet, but as soon as you saw the needle you flipped.

“NO. NO. NO.” You screamed as you pulled away from them both “you say safe! You going to hurt me!” You started crying your heart out. Natasha was taken aback. “Sweetheart it’s okay I promise, we’re not going to hurt you it’ll just be a small prick” her words brought no comfort. You cried and cried. It was happening again. You trusted her and she was betraying you “No! Let me go!” You screamed as arms wrapped tightly around you “I’ve got you darling, I’m gonna keep you safe I promise” Natasha whispered into your ear. You calmed ever so slightly, her voice bringing you comfort. You were to weak to fight her, there was no where to go. Bruce came towards you with a sharp needle. you would tell them anything they wanted to know, anything that would stop the pain walking towards you. Nat’s grip tightened around you, suffocating you in her warmth. The doctor decided this was his only chance. The needle pushed past your skin, sinking into your blood. You let out the most gut wrenching scream, Natasha had to hold back her tears, she knew all to well what you were going through. “Y/N!” You screamed “my name is y/n” your voice was hoarse, like you were swallowing glass “I promise. Please!” it was hard to comprehend but Natasha heard it “y/n” she cooed “it’s okay y/n. Your safe” nothing seemed to stop the pain and memories that filled your little head. The only thing you could do was squeeze your eyes tightly shut, just hoping and praying it would be over soon. all your strength was gone, small whimpers were all you could release.

“Hey y/n, look” her soft voice caught your attention. She pointed over Bruce, on the other side of the room. “It’s all done” she said “you did so well y/n” you continued to whimper into her shoulder for a few moments and although you were hurting, Natasha was loving holding you so close. “Well done y/n. We’re all finished now” Bruce said. The older widow was quick to remove you from such a frightening environment and headed to her bedroom in the tower. The morning had taken its toll on you, you were in desperate need of a nap, but you knew you weren’t allowed one. “Here we are y/n. This is my bedroom, and you can stay here for as long as you need. You hummed in an unsure agreement “would you like to take a nap sweetheart?” Natasha said as she sat you down her bed. “I can have nap?” You said as you rubbed your sore red eyes “of course you can y/n. It’s okay if you’re tired and need a rest” you shyly nodded and crawled up to the pillows with Natasha’s approval. Nat helped to tuck you in all snug and then set off to the door “Natty?” You whined. Her heart stopped, the first time you used her name and it was the most beautiful nickname she had ever been given. “Yeah y/n?” She said “will ou howld me pwease?” You mumbled, already falling to sleep “of course” the redhead wasted no time and climbed into her plush bed with you, you wrapped yourself around her and fell into a deep slumber.

Natasha was too shocked to move. This tiny little person she had known for less than 48 hours had given her so much trust. But Nat knew she was a monster, even if the little y/h/c haired girl didn’t. Natasha was still traumatised by her past, how could she help you deal with yours? She didn’t know the first thing about caring for a toddler, or even about caring for herself. The widow thought of countless ways she could give you a better life, she could take you to an adoption agency, maybe Clint’s family could take you in? But every idea came back to the same thought, she would miss you so much. Natasha couldn’t imagine ever letting you go, she wanted to hold you like this forever. She carefully reached for her phone and dialled her new found friend “Hey Natasha” he answered after a few rings “Hi Clint” Nat said as she took a deep breath “her name’s y/n” Clint smiled, although Natasha couldn’t see it “how’s she doing?” He asked “she’s frightened, scared, afraid, she just fell asleep…” she trailed off “and?” Clint said, already knowing his new partner so well “and” Natasha started “I’m gonna keep her”

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I’m loving writing this series, please please send me any ideas you’d like me to include or touch on!

-Astara🩷

#marvel #natasha romanoff #black widow #marvel fic #nat x reader #avengers #natasha x little!reader #clint x natasha #director fury #nick fury #clint barton #autistic spectrum #natasha x y/n

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itslottiehere · 1 year ago

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mors tua, vita mea — h.s

hello beautiful people 🤍 welcome back! i know, i know, it’s been a while, but i truly hope this story makes up for the lack of writing! i’ve had so much fun while writing this, and i hope you’ll like it as much as i do <3 please, let me know what you think! you can do so in your reblog, in your tags, or in my asks! if you enjoy the story, please consider reblogging! it really helps me and also make me want to keep going!! without further ado, happy reading! <3

— inspired by “getaway car” by taylor swift.

cw: angst, a bit of kissing, some swear words

word count: 6.5k

gif by @londonharry

masterlist | leave your feedback or requests here

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the backstreet was dark, a few spots of light showing her the way to the car she hid before the heist took place. before chris could know that there was only one way that night could have ended, and that was with him locked up.

she had been planning this for months now: their biggest heist, her biggest betrayal.

she wasn’t sentimental about it at all, it was just pure business: she knew the cops were closing in on them, so she had to leave before shit hit the fan. simple as that.

also, chris was becoming way too attached to her as it was, so it was really a two birds with one stone deal for her: she had always made it clear that their “relationship” was nothing more than work, but sometimes the nights in the safe house got boring and lonely, and the company was appreciated.

still, a few nights of sex didn’t mean there were feelings involved or anything of that sort, and no matter how much chris said that he “got it”, she noticed the changes in his attitude, how protective of her he became, how his touch would linger for a second longer, how he would double and triple check with her if she got wounded, how he would always make sure she was safe before worrying about his own safety.

how he made it so easy for her to manipulate him.

the poor thing never saw it coming. the pink lenses of infatuation making him painfully oblivious to the fact that he was never gonna see her again.

both her and the outside world, from her calculations: the cops would find plenty of evidence on him, in the safe house, that would tie him up with a pretty little bow and send him off to prison for god’s know how long, all the while making him the perfect scapegoat for her.

she couldn’t know if chris would rat her out, — although she thought it not likely, given the lovesick puppy look he had ever since they slept together, — but even if he tried to, she made sure not to leave any trace of her identity in any document, in anything that had to do with any illegal activity.

and even if she did, they wouldn’t have found her: the identity she used wasn’t hers, and she was gonna stop being the person chris knew as soon as she drove away, her new id card safely stored in the pocket of her jacket, the old one burnt to a crisp.

the soles of her shoes were scraping against the gravel, the ground wet from the light november rain, while she jogged to what would bring her into a new life, a new start. she had to get out of there, immediately.

what she wasn’t expecting was a dark silhouette appearing on the other side of the alley, seemingly jogging towards her.

fuck, fuck, fuck.

she was so sure she had locked the exit door on the back, so how did chris manage to get out? he would have had to figure out she was planning on framing him.

if that was the case, this wasn’t gonna end well.

she opened up the door to her car, ready to bolt, when the unknown figure spoke slowly: “wait.”

that was not chris. the voice was deep, rough, and the way he pronounced just one single word made chills run through her body.

or maybe that was just the adrenaline of it all, the fear of getting caught betraying her partner by said partner.

“wait.” the figure spoke once more, getting closer to the car. “i need a lift.”

what the actual fuck? did he take her for an uber driver or something?

she scoffed and got in the car, keys inside the ignition, ready to drive off.

which couldn’t be done since the tall figure decided to stand in the middle of the alley.

she couldn’t really honk, not when the alarms inside the building were about to go off and the place was about to be stormed by cops. she had to leave, and if she had to run over him, then so be it.

she put her foot on the gas, put in the first gear and was very much convinced that the man would decide to move out of the way.

but she had no such luck.

his hands hit the hood of her car, hard, while she pressed on the breaks with all her strength in order to not make him flat on the ground.

so much for survival instincts, she thought.

“were you really about to run me over?” the man spoke — his figure now becoming clearer since he was nearer than before. a lazy smirk cut his face. “mmh. i like you.”

and just like that he was opening the passenger’s door, seating down and buckling his seatbelt.

she was utterly shocked, what the hell was going on, why was he- “who the fuck are you? and what the actual fuck do you think you’re doing in my car?”

the man chuckled lowly, casting two deep indents in his cheeks. “oh wow, they didn’t tell me the owl had such a filthy mouth.”

the name made her eyes go wide: the owl. working in the darkest hours of the night was her distinctive trait, hence the nickname she chose for herself while doing business.

“‘m harry, by the way. don’t have a cool nickname like yours yet, but perhaps i should find one. what about the puma? what do you think?”

she scoffed, looking straight and finally driving away. “well, harry or the puma or whatever you wanna be called-”

“harry is just fine.”

“alright, harry, would you mind telling me why the fuck are you here?” her patience was wearing thin and she really didn’t want to lose any more time on this.

“oh right, sort of forgot to tell you, didn’t i? okay, well, my dear owl- hold up, don’t i get to know your name? i told you mine.” he turned his body to face her.

judging by the deep frown of her eyebrows and how set her eyes were on the road in front of them, he assumed he wouldn’t get it that easily.

“well, doesn’t matter for now. so, back to where i was: i have been checking you out for a while, saw your latest works and was very impressed. i’m in need of a partner, and from what i saw tonight, so do you.” he spoke, and in the far distance they could hear the police sirens and spot the blue and red lights: everything was about to go down.

harry coming to bother her on that particular night was really somewhat karmic, wasn’t it? she screwed over her partner, so fate had to bring an annoying man in her plans, once again. she cleared her throat, her tone dry.

“how did you know what i would do?”

harry turned once again towards the road. “i knew the police was closing in on you, so i thought that if you played your cards right you may have the chance to get away, and the better escape plan would have been to ditch your partner.” the man in her passenger seat stretched his legs, his arms raised up, his voice coming out a bit strained. “word on the street was that tonight something was going down, i thought to check it out to see if it was actually gonna be you. my lucky night, i’d say.”

harry had heard plenty about the owl’s operations and was extremely intrigued by her. the plans were intricate, but incredibly well thought out, and often went down without a hitch, and the chosen artworks to be stolen being invaluable masterpieces made it all the more admirable. he knew as soon as he saw one of her biggest heists go down so smoothly that he desperately wanted to be in business with her, so he began keeping tabs on her, which brought him in that alley, that precise night.

he didn’t expect to be so entranced to her.

sure, he was in awe of her plans and the way she carried on her business, but he was struck by her. even more than her looks, it was the confidence she radiated from her stance, her set gaze, her clenched jaw, that was what drew him in immediately.

he knew she was trouble, especially given her line of work. but it seemed like he couldn’t help himself to fall under her spell, and that was saying something, since she tried to run him over not even 20 minutes prior.

oh, poor harry didn’t know what he was getting into.

she wasn’t dumb, nor blind: harry was a treat for the eyes, and obviously way more prepared than chris ever was. still to that day she couldn’t believe he didn’t see it coming, it was all so clear to her. she was sneaky, of course, but he must’ve had some clue, right? or well, she guessed that what people say is true: love makes you dumb.

harry was another league, though. he kept track of her, which must’ve not been easy since she always took so many precautions to keep everything on the down low; he discovered her plan and also understood that the better route for her was to ditch her partner.

he definitely had more experience than chris, and that could be an advantage: for once, she could have someone to bounce ideas off of, and since harry managed to find out her ironclad plans, it means that something wasn’t as hidden as she would’ve liked, and having him could help with that.

when she started her business, she swore that she had to be the one calling all the shots: being the perfectionist she is, she couldn’t relegate the responsibility of something so important like a heist to someone who wasn’t herself. she decided to get a partner — enter, chris �� just because sometimes it was physically impossible to do it all on her own. that didn’t change the fact that he was merely a mean to an end, he had no voice whatsoever in planning anything, and not once had he complained about it, nor he had any reason to: the money was good, and once he even got to win her affection — or well, what he thought could’ve turned into something more — he was good with doing whatever she wanted.

she had the feeling it wasn’t gonna be like this with harry.

or well, at least not that easy.

“that was impressive, not going to lie. it mustn’t have been easy to keep track of my movements. so, bravo.” she spoke, her eyes quickly glancing towards him.

a smirk took place on harry’s face, the praise of such a pro stroking his ego. “it was, but very much worth it.”

his voice was smooth like silk, and even the dumbest person walking on earth could’ve felt the flirty undertones of his words from miles away.

she quickly thought about it, a new plan. a new, better plan.

“okay, pretty boy. if you can keep up, i can think about being partners. that is, if you prove worthy of my time.”

“deal.” he smiled, and again the dimples on his cheeks made an appearance. “pretty boy, huh? should that be my badass nickname?”

“still better than the puma.”

that night marked the beginning of a new era, four years of the most lucrative, crazy, exciting heists the both of them could have ever imagined.

and over the course of those years, the inevitable and not so unexpected happened: they fell for each other, and they fell hard.

endless night of planning, scheming, and building trust with each other turned them into real life bonnie and clyde, absolutely drunk on adrenaline and love.

it was definitely not something she had planned, not something she had wanted either, but there was no denying chemistry: sometimes, things just happen, and you have no choice but to let them run their course.

harry was just as smitten: he was hooked from the beginning, and fought hard to win her over from day one.

it started as a ‘business partners with benefits’ kind of deal, a way to ‘pass the time’, — at least for her, harry was already harboring feelings for the woman — but it bloomed into something more, somewhat organically.

he still teased her that she became soft for him when he got injured during an escape: the rope attached to the top of the building didn’t hold up harry, who suffered a bad fall. his shoulder was dislocated, and she had to be the one who had to put it back in place, since hospitals weren’t really an option, and harry couldn’t ignore the look she held in her eyes, as if even just the thought of hurting him was physically hurting her.

he didn’t expect it, definitely not from someone like the infamous owl: she showed no remorse for her actions, no feelings for the first six months of them working together, and he made peace with the fact that that was just the way it was gonna be, but was pleasantly surprised when that revealed not to be the case.

the world knew her as a scheming, logical woman, but harry had the privilege of being her soft spot.

he was always a pretty open guy, not scared of having big feelings or of falling in love. he had already felt it in the past, he just wasn’t prepared to experience how powerful it could feel with the right person: what he felt for her was something out of a novel, a perfect mixture of infatuation, almost obsession, adrenaline and maybe insanity, and it was so incredibly addicting.

the last heist was a perfect success, their biggest bag as a matter of fact. the artwork they managed to steal had taken months upon months of planning, but it all went down incredibly smoothly: 7 minutes, in and out, exactly like they had wanted. they were already far when the police arrived, harry behind the wheel, driving their getaway car.

with chris, she had never let him drive, ever: she had to be in control of everything, of every little aspect, probably because she never fully trusted him. but she did trust harry, wholeheartedly so.

the drive to the dingy motel wasn’t too long, the night chill enveloping them thanks to the lack of a roof on their car. the adrenaline was running high still, and she couldn’t stop herself from leaning in and leaving a kiss on harry’s smiling lips, their grins quite too big to properly kiss each other. but it didn’t matter, the feeling was all the same, the rush quite impossible to describe to someone who never felt it.

harry disconnected their lips, not before leaving a quick peck once again, and looked back to the barely lit country road ahead of them.

“very risky to distract me like that right now, sweetheart.”

“couldn’t help it, pretty boy. you’re just too damn good-looking.” she smiled at the nickname, and harry did too: it stuck ever since that first night, and harry definitely never complained.

“c’mon, we’re almost at the motel.” harry’s hand took its rightful place on her left thigh, softly squeezing the flesh, awakening a storm of butterflies and inviting them to bat their wings in her stomach. she rested her hand on top of his, gently toying with his rings.

the motel neon sign was missing a few letters, its occupants nothing less than unsavory, but she didn’t care: she wasn’t one to be scared in the first place, much less with harry by her side.

once they got to their room, she locked the door and quickly found her back pressed into it, harry’s lips straight on hers. she knew what was coming, it happened every single time after a hit: the euphoria of a successful heist was a very powerful aphrodisiac.

harry’s lips pressed slowly against her own, he was in no hurry now. after he felt her body relaxing in his hold, he moved onto her neck, and smiled against her skin when he heard a shaky breath falling from her lips after he sucked lightly on the spot he knew would drive her crazy.

her hand went immediately into his hair, tugging on the curls she loved to play with at every chance she got, while the other travelled down his torso, heading towards his belt.

knowing where she was going, harry detached his lips from her neck and looked at her: flushed cheeks, her eyes — his favorite feature of hers — slightly glazed over, her lips full and a raspberry colour. he smiled at the sight.

“sweetheart,” he murmured. “sweetheart, hey.”

“mmh?” she hummed, her hands roaming under his shirt, feeling the expanse of his tummy and chest, pressing her lips in the dip of his throat.

harry hated to have to tear himself away from her and her touch, but a shower was in order, and also making her wait made the whole situation way more intriguing, her getting antsy waiting for him really did a number on him.

her forehead rested on his chest, a small whine falling from her lips when he felt him trying to move away from her, which made harry chuckle. he softly pressed a kiss to the top of her head, slowly walking backwards towards the restroom, but her arms refused to leave his body, so she was stumbling along with him, her cheek still smushed against his chest.

harry reached behind his back to untangle her arms from his waist, not without her protesting. he leaned in and planted a wet kiss on her cheek, murmuring a low “be right back”, before leaving the room.

she felt drunk, as she usually did whenever harry was in near proximity, but there was nothing she could do about it.

she laid down on the dingy bed, eagerly waiting for her lover to be back and, to kill the time, she decided to turn on the tv.

what she saw sobered her up real quick.

the news were reporting a robbery at a famous gallery, two figures with their dark hoodies up filmed from a camera at the end of the alley.

a camera both she and harry failed to notice.

they were lucky the camera was at the opposite end of the dark and unlit alley, and caught just a glimpse of their backs, but this wasn’t good. this was not supposed to happen.

never, in all her years of planning, had she forgot to notice a camera, and the fact that this happened with their biggest heist made the blood drain from her face.

she tried her hardest to lower her heart rate and to focus on what the newscaster was saying: two suspects, no faces identified, probably left by car, all the other cameras in the block were somehow off during the escape — somehow actually being the work of one of harry’s acquaintances — and the police had no leads for the moment.

all things considered, it wasn’t bad at all.

so why couldn’t she seem to catch her breath?

the bathroom door creaked open, a bit of steam filling the room. harry stepped out, a towel hanging on his lower half, his body glistening with little droplets of water, hair matted and still dripping a little.

he had a dopey smile on his lips, which soon fell once he noticed that she wasn’t ogling at him as she usually would when he stepped out of a shower.

“hey,” he called out to her, “something wrong?”

she didn’t even notice that harry had walked back into the room, so she slightly jumped at the sound of his voice. her head quickly turned towards him, as she just as quickly turned the tv off.

“of course, yeah.” she smiled. “missed you.”

“could’ve joined me, you know?” he grinned, “never would refuse a beautiful lady like you.” he got closer to her and pressed his lips softly against hers.

she reciprocated the kiss, disconnecting it quite a bit earlier than harry would’ve liked, and murmured still close to his lips, “can we cuddle for a bit?”

harry’s hands cupped her cheeks, his thumbs slowly stroking the apples, “yeah, of course. want my shirt to sleep in?”

she excitedly nodded, staring at his back while he retrieved a shirt from his luggage.

sleep came quickly to harry, his arm holding her tightly against his chest, comforted by the feeling of having her safe in his arms.

she still couldn’t quite catch her breath.

harry woke up to an empty bed: the creamy rays of sun beamed through the worn blinds, rousing him awake. as he did every morning, he reached for her, looking forward to hooking his arm around her waist and feel her snuggle against his chest. but that day, his hand touched a cold piece of comforter instead of the warm, soft body of his girl.

his eyes opened immediately, trying to adapt to the light, his brows furrowed as he knuckled his eyes, trying to blink away the sleepiness. his slightly startled heart stopped once he saw her seated at the little desk the room provided, typing away on her computer, wrapped in his sweatshirt with her hair still damp from the shower she probably had just taken.

way too focused on adjusting the last details of the meetup with the buyer for that same night, she jumped when she felt two strong arms engulfing her.

“morning, love.” his morning voice was a gift straight from heaven, it never failed to make her feel warm and cozy. “don’t like it when i wake up without you.”

she could hear the pout on his face, and she smiled at the notion that he was so affected by her absence. “good morning, pretty boy. just had to take a shower and finalize the details for the drop off with the buyer tonight.” she turned around and looked at his still half closed eyes. she tilted her head up, puckering her lips a little, “kiss?”

harry didn’t miss a beat and laid his mouth on hers, moaning softly at the contact.

she hadn’t lied per se, she had to do all of what she said, but she also couldn’t stand lying awake in that bed for one more second: she had barely gotten any sleep the previous night, the video of them on the news flashing continuously in her mind.

so she tried to focus on work, to get things right before they could go wrong.

the day went by as usual, the two of them laying low, preparing for the meetup with this anonymous buyer. the sum of money this person was offering was definitely mind blowing, and there was no way they could turn it down.

in the late afternoon, they left the motel to reach the location given to them: it was a rundown warehouse, obviously abandoned, and they were under strict orders to arrive at 8pm on the dot, to leave the car outside the main gate, and proceed by feet till they arrived to the container with the number 258: that was where they’d find an employee of the buyer.

it was all routine, they almost never handled a deal with the buyer directly, and they understood the reason. she and harry never exchanged names as well, for safety reasons, or any other details, just informations about the drop.

at 7:50pm, they were parked outside the warehouse. the chill of the desert air made the hair on her arms stand, a shiver running down her spine.

“cold?” harry asked, after he noticed her shudder. it wasn’t that cold at the moment for him, and it was probably gonna be worse once the sun was set all the way, but nonetheless he put his jacket on her shoulders, his big hands running up and down her upper arms to give her some warmth.

she smiled at the gesture, and tilted her head up, “thank you.”

he reciprocated the smile and took her hand, in the other one holding the bag containing the stolen piece of art. “of course, darling. now let’s go, wanna be back in that motel bed as soon as possible,” he cheekily remarked.

they walked hand in hand till they found the container 258, and knocked three times, as instructed. the shutter was pulled up, a man dressed in a suit, who looked to be in his forties, appearing behind it.

“welcome, you must be the sellers. please, come in.” the unknown man spoke, and she and harry made their way inside.

harry laid the bag carefully on the table, beside a briefcase, previously set down.

“thank you, sir. as per your request by email, the-”

“actually,” harry interrupted, “you didn’t speak with me. she,” he pointed to the girl beside him, who had a stony expression, “is the head of the whole operation, so if you want to explain something to someone, you can do so with her.”

this was also something they were both used to, but that didn’t make it any less annoying. if only they knew they were actually talking to the owl, they’d probably kiss the her shoes.

the deal was over in 5 minutes, the majority of which was spent with the two of them counting the money, making sure every penny was in that briefcase. after confirming so, they barely said goodbye to that sexist prick, and went back to their car.

the drive to the motel was quiet, but not uncomfortably so: harry’s right hand took place on her left thigh as usual, while her arm was stretched behind his headrest, playing mindlessly with his curls, scratching his scalp lightly.

“hey, pretty boy.” she called, a soft smile on her lips.

harry smirked at the nickname, he couldn’t help it, “yes?”

“i really love you,” she softly said, taking her hand away from his hair and moving it to stroke his cheekbone, “you know that?”

harry couldn’t help but feel his tummy warm up at her words, his cheeks getting a bit flushed. “i do know, darling, but thank you for the reminder.” he snickered, “i love you too.” he said, and took his right hand off her leg to grab her hand, planting a soft kiss to her palm, and to every knuckle.

once they finally reached the motel, harry turned off the ignition and turned to face her. his hand took a hold of her jaw, and pressed a kiss against her pouty lips. she sighed into the kiss, a thing that drove harry absolutely crazy.

“what if-” she tried to talk, but was quickly interrupted by harry kissing her again, “we go to the room to-” another kiss, “put down our things and-”, yet another kiss, “then we have a drink at the bar?” she put her hand on harry’s chest to push him a bit further, or else she wouldn’t be able to finish the sentence. “if i’m not mistaken it’s right by the reception. sounds good?”

harry nodded, and to seal his agreement he kissed her once again.

after making their way down from their room into the motel bar, they sat down at the counter, harry’s hand on her back while she climbed on the stool.

the bar was definitely empty, just a couple of old men sat in the corner of the room, a deck of cards between them.

“two old fashioned, please.” harry asked the man behind the counter.

it was a sort of a tradition, getting that drink after a deal: the first time they did a deal together, he was the one suggesting going for a drink, which she — surprisingly to him — did not turn down. once they reached the pub nearby, she ordered an old fashioned, and asked harry what he wanted, to which he answered “the same”, and it became a tradition ever since then.

“oh wait-” she said all of a sudden, which made harry turn his head towards her.

“oh i’m sorry, did you want something else?” he asked, unsure of even his question, since she had never ordered something else.

she quickly shook her head, “no no, don’t worry, i just realized i forgot my phone in our room.” she stood from the stool, “i’m gonna go get it and i’ll be right back, alright?” after she spoke, she left a lingering kiss on his cheek.

harry hummed and with a little smile, he playfully said, “be quick, i’m gonna miss you.”

she returned his smile, and opened the motel bar door, “i’m gonna miss you too, pretty boy.”

harry didn’t think any of it after ten minutes, she probably got caught up on something online, or had to answer to an email right away and couldn’t wait.

he didn’t think any of it after twenty minutes, thinking she may have had a call to make and it was taking a bit longer than usual. he settled on shooting her a message, asking if she was fine. the message was left on delivered.

but after thirty minutes, he needed to check on her. what if she was sick and he was there waiting for her at the bar like an idiot? what if there was a problem and she needed his help, even if she would most likely never admit it?

he left some banknotes on the counter, and rushed his way upstairs.

once he stood in front of the door, his blood run cold: the door was ajar.

something was wrong, very wrong.

carefully, he pushed the door, reaching for his pocket knife; once it was open, his eyes darted around the room, looking for something out of place.

the thing is, it wasn’t that something was out of place, it was that something was missing: her bag, her clothes, her laptop, herself, they were all missing. there was no trace of her, as if she had never been there.

“what-” he rushed in, the door left slightly open behind him. he hastily opened the bathroom door, checking if maybe she was there, but, alas, she was not.

“what the fuck is going on?” harry muttered to himself, so confused that he was sure that his movements weren’t even making sense. his head kept turning from side to side, trying to find something, anything to help him understand what was going on.

he was never one to panic, always been a pretty clearheaded guy in every situation he’s found himself in, but not when his girl was involved, and especially when he was totally in the dark about what had happened.

his eyes finally zeroed in on a piece of paper on the desk.

of course, of course she’d be smart and leave him some sort of trace, so he could find her and get her back.

he stumbled on his steps, his legs wobbling as if made of jelly and with frantic fingers, he opened the piece of paper, which showed just four, short words.

mors tua, vita mea.

“wh-what, no-”, he rambled, shaking his head energetically, choosing not to believe the reality that was downing on him. “no, no, it can’t-” he kept chanting, over and over, but his rambling was cut short.

in his peripherals, he saw the red and blue lights bouncing off the dirty white walls of the motel room, the sound of the police car doors closing and of the steps of the officers coming up the stairs, but the sounds were almost muted, the shock making his ears ring.

the door was pushed open, three officers coming in first, guns blazing, while the others were surely waiting all around the motel, pointing their guns at him through the windows.

“put your hands up! over your head!”

harry robotically obliged, not in control of his body anymore.

“harry styles, you’re under arrest. you have the right to remain silent, anything you say…”.

he didn’t hear the rest of the miranda rights over the sound of the faith he had in her shattering, puncturing his lungs and making it hard to breathe.

—

18 months later.

“styles, you have a visitor.”

harry’s eyes opened at the voice of the guard, the ceiling of his cell staring back at him. those were words he didn’t get to hear often, only two other times, and both times it was always a nosy journalist wanting to write a story about a pretty successful art thief. he laid still, pondering whether to go or stay in his shoe box of a cell for the rest of the day.

“styles, get up. i don’t have all day.”

harry dragged his feet along the corridor, and once he arrived to the designated room, he headed towards the seat the officer pointed. once he sat down, he grabbed the black phone receiver, and didn’t even bother looking at the person standing in front of him, his eyes closed already in annoyance.

“look, if you’re another fucking journalist, i’m not gonna say a word to you, so you wasted your time coming here and i’m asking you to leave.”

the person in front of him hesitated, as he heard a shallow breathe on the other end of the receiver.

“hi, pretty boy.”

harry’s eyes had never opened so fast, and his heart skipped a beat.

no, no, this wasn’t real, this was just his mind playing tricks on him: stupid, fucking horrible and cruel tricks.

the voice didn’t match the exterior: the person in front of him had another haircut, a whole other hair colour, the eyes — the feature he most loved about her — covered by large sunglasses.

but he knew. he knew it was her: the way her lips were set in her natural pout, the shape of her face, the freckle she had at the right corner of her bottom lip.

the way his heart was going out of his chest trying to reach for her.

he was supposed to hate her — and he did, he so did — but the way his nickname fell from her lips lit up something in him, something that no matter how much he wanted it to be dormant, it was still there.

his brain could only manage to ask her the one question that nagged at him ever since that day.

“why.”

he stared at her through the glass, green tired eyes boring into her soul. she knew it was risky, showing up at a prison under yet another false identity, but she knew she couldn’t leave without saying goodbye one last time. one real last time.

so she swallowed harshly, and opened her mouth, keeping her answers short in order not to break down.

“think about the place where you first met me, harry.” she murmured, while his stony expression was staring back at her. “i had no other choice.”

harry chuckled darkly, a grin so deranged that she felt her blood run cold. this answer of hers opened the gate to all the hatred that had been boiling in him for 18 long months.

“that’s such bullshit, and you know it. you had a choice — you fucking did — and you made it. you chose to tip-off the police, you chose to leave your name out of every document, you chose to use a fake identity with me as well, and make it impossible to track you; you chose to pack your bags and steal the car, you chose to leave me behind and letting me take the blame for it.” his voice was laced with venom. “i spent 18 fucking months in this cell, with just one question running through my mind, all day, all night, every day: why did you choose to do this to me.”

“harry, i told you, i had-”

“bullshit!” he screamed, a prominent vein on his neck, while smashing his fist against the plastic glass, over and over again. “you ruined my fucking life, and you have the gall to give me that as the reason why you did it? tell me the truth! tell me the fucking truth! you owe me at least that.”

the volume of his voice and the violence he was hitting the glass with made her stand up and hang up the receiver, scrambling to get away from him before his actions brought too much attention on her as well. three officers had to come in to stop harry from smashing down the glass and jumping on the other side of the window, and had to drag him away whilst he was still fighting with all his strength, his legs kicking and arms flailing trying to be freed, his voice repeatedly shouting just one word, over and over: why.

nine days later, harry found himself moved to a facility of a higher security rank: his violent act during the visit wasn’t an isolated episode, and basically opened the door to a side of harry that he never knew. he never knew such anger in his life.

the guard guiding him stopped in front of the nth same looking cell.

“bradford, your new roomie is here.” the guard sarcastically said, making harry want to punch his face in, but unable to do so because of the cuffs on his wrists.

the man laying in the bunk barely scoffed and glanced at harry while he was walking into his new “home”.

once the guard went away, bradford turned to harry and looked him up and down, then returned to stare at the ceiling. harry could perhaps even manage to put up with the guy, if he always kept this quiet, but he felt like at least an introduction was to be done, to be the least civil. “‘m harry, harry styles. and you are?”

his new cellmate groaned softly while standing up, putting his legs down from the bunk.

“i’m bradford, chris bradford. and i know exactly who you are.”

harry was definitely dumbfounded, “what? how do you-?”

“your case was all over the news, even inmates got to know about it. but most of all, i know you because i’ve been you.”

harry’s confusion must’ve been displayed clearly on his face, because chris just scoffed and kept on talking.

“we’ve been framed by the same person." he murmured, "and we’re gonna take her down together.”

—

the latin phrase mors tua vita mea, of medieval origin, means “your death, my life” (or: “your death (is) my life”).

beyond the dramatic tone of the literal sense, this expression is used when within a competition or in the attempt to reach a goal there can be only one winner: the saying indicates that the failure of one is an indispensable prerequisite for the success of another.

—

taglist: @a-strange-familiar @stilesissaved @harrysonlylover @walkingintheheartbreaksatellite @kittenhere @neverstaisfied

–

please, let me know what you think and please, please reblog! thank you so much for being here, it means the world <3 also, just a little fyi, there's no plan for a part 2!

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles one shot #harry styles blurb #harry styles angst #harry styles x reader #harry styles fic rec #harry styles fic #harry styles fluff #harry styles x y/n #harry styles writing #getaway car #harry styles x you #my writing #harry styles story #harry styles imagine

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fruitsoxs · 1 year ago

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Hello! I like your writing a lot and i was wondering if you'd do wolfwood x gn-reader, and the reader has a flirty and vulgar way of joking. I'm curious how would he react to that kind of chaotic person who likes to taunt and tease

I got a little bit nsfw with this haha-- a little full on smut drabble included so-

warnings: !nsfw minors dni! smut, swearing, make outs, blow jobs, face fucking wolfwood gets a bit rough, it's gender neutral but he does call you "angel" (my dyslexic ass is praying i managed to not put a single "angle" in there)

Okay I really do believe he’d probably think you are hilarious. He’d probably immediately connect with you.

You take his jokes, and then you tease him back?? Wowie he’s already in love lol

But here’s the kicker- I think eventually he’d dish out more than he could take

Especially if he starts falling for you along the way

Like he’d say a whittle inappropriate joke and you would try and up him

And then this man would fold

Red face

Unable to talk

Completely and totally flustered

One time you make a joke about him using something else for his oral fixation and he straight up walks away

He doesn’t talk to you until the next day

You think it’s pretty funny actually - so you decide to start seeing how far you can take it before he snaps

NSFW part below the cut!

Imagine one day you say something and he finally just explodes

Like you make a job about him fucking your sins away and you thinks it’s all witty because he’s a priest

But he literally is like “You know what?? I think I will-” And bam he’s got you bent over screaming his name lol

It’s a particularly hot afternoon, and in order to keep group morale up everyone has decided to make a little stop to drink some cool water. Maybe even eat some food if money will allow it. You’re pretty thankful. One more moment in that damn car and you’re sure you’d burst - it’s WAY too hot with both Vash and Wolfwood on either side of you like that.

It takes only a couple minutes for your dark haired friend to saunter up to you and sit down, throwing his arm on the seat behind you. Not close enough to touch you, but close enough that you can almost smell the cigarette smoke on his clothes. He’s, thankfully, curbed the habit of smoking inside. With a sucker popped in between his lips, he lets out a small sigh.

He doesn’t like sitting still, you know that. He hates when the group decides to take breaks like this. If it were up to him, you all would be moving non-stop into the dead of night. Thankfully, it’s not. So he’ll just have to live.

“Feeling restless?” You ask, knowing the answer already.

“What do you think, angel?” he sighs again, his voice slightly horse.

You smile softly at the nickname, a bit unsure why he calls you that still. He told you once before that it all started when he saw your worried face after he was hit by a car. He said you looked innocent, and pure. He’d find out minutes later that you definitely weren’t- yet the nickname still rolls off his tongue like it belongs there.

“Why do you call me that?” you ask, looking up at him. “You know why.” His answer is simple. He looks down at you with a raised eyebrow, craning his neck. He’s too tall.

“Yeah I know why you started calling me that- but why still call me that?” you clarify rolling your eyes. He knew what you meant, he’s just being difficult. “I’m not really the most holy individual.’ You point out. He laughs and shakes his head. “Trust me I know.” He mumbles, that smirk still present on his lips as he looks forward. “You’re the biggest sinner I know.” he jokes. He really walks into this one. He should know, with how much he jokes about being a priest, that this joke was always in the back of your brain. Always waiting for the right moment. Yet here he is, giving you the perfect opening. It’s almost like he’s begging for it.

“Oh? Am I a bad girl, father? Should I get on my knees and confess my sins?” You ask with a sneer. He freezes immediately. “Are you gonna punish me?” You go on, leaning in close. Man, this is a gold mine. You’d probably keep going too, if he doesn’t stand up and yank you out of your chair.

You let out a small yelp as he starts pulling you along, through the room, and into a little storage place that is probably only for employees. He throws you in, softly of course, and you stumble forward slightly. “What hell are you-” You’re interrupted by the door locking as he turns to you, shrugging the Punisher off his shoulder. He leans the giant cross against the wall, and sighs.

“You’ve got the naughtiest mouth angel, I can’t fucking stand it anymore.” He curses sauntering up next to you. “All you do is tease me, and yeah it can be pretty funny. Then you go off and say shit like that- and you have no idea what it does to me.” He grabs your chin, forcing you to look up at him. “And you know what? Maybe it is about time you get punished.”

A few moments later and his lips are on yours. It’s a heated kiss from the beginning, open mouthed and messy. The sucker that was dangling from his lips falls against the dirty ground. You can’t help but moan into the kiss, as he devours you like you’re the last meal he’ll ever eat. His tongue invades your lips, and roams around every inch of your mouth. He drinks in your taste, and when he pulls away he’s got this shit eating grin that stretches across his lips.

“What do you think, angel?” He whispers, his hand sliding to the back of your head.

Like you even have to think about this- Wolfwood is quite literally the hottest man you have ever been given the privilege to meet. Plus he’s endearing, and sweet when he wants to be. Plus that kiss was just about the most amazing thing you’ve ever experienced.

“I have been pretty naughty.” Is your answer.

His grin widens, and his fingers dip into your scalp, pulling your hair so your head tilts back. You gasp, and he takes that as an opportunity to slip his tongue back into your mouth. You’re not sure if it’s even really a kiss at this point, but if the noises that leave your throat are anything to go off of, you really don’t mind.

After a while he pulls away, his cheeks red. “Are you gonna make good on your promise and get on your knees, angel?” he whispers, lips dangerously close to your ear. Your cheeks instantly heat up. You just now notice something hard pressed up against your thigh, and you wonder how easy it was for him to so worked up on your teasing alone.

You bend at the knees, and slowly fall to the ground. The floor is a bit sticky, but whatever. You have bigger things to deal with right now. And with the way he’s gripping your hair, you’re not sure if you can stop yourself from what’s to come.

He grunts as you slide your fingers into the waistline of his pants, and drag them down. His black boxers are already dripping with precum from just the thought of what's to come. It makes your mouth water.

You press your lips against the fabric, and he growls softly. You take the hint, and slowly rid him of the undergarments. His dick flies free and you have to pinch the skin on your legs to keep from freaking out.

He’s big. Thick. Uncut and freaking beautiful.

“Like what you see, angel?” He asks, pressing your face forward. You nod, and reach a hand out, delicately tracing your fingers along the shaft. His hips jerk forward slightly, but he’s quick to let you know who’s in charge by pulling on your hair. You moan and lean forward, placing your tongue towards the middle, and licking a line up to the head. You look up at him, eyes wide, before quickly wrapping your mouth around the tip.

“God-’ He mumbles softly. “So perfect. Those lips are so Goddamn perfect angel.” He groans. You can tell he’s holding himself back, so you slide your head down and take in bit by bit slowly. He grunts and moans softly, clutching onto you for dear life.

“Just like that angel, take it all in. You’re doing such a good job.” His praise ignites a fire in you, and you let out a soft whimper. The vibrations against his dick make the man freeze for a minute. He’s getting closer to losing control. But he wants you to take your time before he face fucks the life out of you.

“You like that angel? Like when I praise you?”

You try your best to nod, lips still wrapped around his cock. He gets the idea, and lets out a soft chuckle. “I’ll keep that in mind.” He mumbles, and his touch feels a bit softer for a second.

You continue on your journey of giving him the best blowjob of his life, licking and sucking as you see fit. One hand wrapped around the bottom of his dick, moving in unison with your head. You find the courage to finally slide it all the way into the back of your throat. A cry escapes your mouth, followed by a gag, and tears threaten to spill from the corners of your eyes. The moment you deepthroat him, his hands grip the back of your head, and keep you there for a few seconds.

“Fuck- angel-” He grunts before releasing you. You slide your mouth off of him for a second. “I can’t hold myself back. You feel too good- can I fuck your pretty face angel? That okay?” He asks, his hand dropping to your chin for a second. You nod, and he smiles.

And then, he grips your hair so tight you might scream. Before you can even make a sound, his dick is in your throat again, as he slams his hips against your face at a dead pace. It’s rough, but not aggressive enough to make you uncomfortable. And the noises he makes are insanely hot.

You can’t help but choke and moan as his dick slides into your mouth. You try your best to move your tongue around it, but it’s hard to think straight. You’re almost drunk on his cock.

“Fuck- you’re being so good for me angel.” He coos. His soft voice is a pleasant counter to his rough grip on your hair.

Finally, his movements begin to get a bit clumsier, and you can tell he’s close. “Angel, shit, I’m close.” He grunts. “You gonna swallow every last drop? Gonna let my cum clean your filthy mouth, angel?” You cry out a yes against his cock, nails digging into his thighs.

That’s all it takes for him to unload into you, letting out one final curse as his seed drips down your throat. He keeps your head pressed against the bottom of his dick until you’ve swallowed the last of it. He lets go of your head, and you fall backwards, knees starting to hurt.

After a few seconds, once his pants are back on, he wraps his hand around your wrist and pulls you back up softly. He lets you lean against him as you get your strength back in your legs, and kisses the top of your head softly. His arm is around your waist, his touch now soft and loving.

“You okay, angel?” he asks, his mouth presses against the top of your head. “Of course.” You hum, and lean into his embrace.

#wolfwood x reader #nicholas d wolfwood x reader #wolfwood drabble #wolfwood headcanons #wolfwood x you #request #wolfwood smut

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camilaxmartin · 8 months ago

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gonna put them emoji’s again💀😭 so it would be: 🥑🍬🌸🐝🎨🍄

I love using these TOTALLY USEFUL emoji’s so I picked em🥰

you don’t use avocado/bee/mushroom everyday? what are you even doing?🙄

BUT ANYWAY

🥑: you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

probably @bunnylove1 and @blookyag, idk why tho honestly, just getting the vibes they’d help somebody out with hiding the body💀 (it’s a compliment, i swear-)

🍬: post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character:

okay uhh- (don’t cancel me plz) i respect with my whole heart that alastor is asexual and (?) aromantic but i don’t get the hate people receive when shipping him with someone? as far as i know being on the spectrum means he can still date? like i know, he doesn’t show any interest in that but if its just for a silly au or for a cool drawing then what’s the fuss about? i’m not talking like about erasing that part of him because that’s a big no no for me, but like…? respecting it but still having fun with his character? i saw a great tiktok explaining my thoughts exactly so maybe i’ll link it here if i can find it (add the link here later camila:) (besides all that i project a lot of myself onto alastor (still debating if im aromantic or not) and i want to explore myself with his character (if i can even phrase it that way) so all the hate and shit really bother me, you know?)

(another thing more about whole thing not a character is that “whatever it takes” is in my top 4 songs and i don’t get the hate it gets?? i love this song?? it’s so great?? two latina (?) girls singing together?? cmon??)

🌸: do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them:

i do actually! i have a dog and three rats:) (also had a rabbit but he died not so long ago and he was like my whole world so i got a tattoo to remember him, i’ll add it as well just because i can)

🐝: tag your biggest supporters and say one nice thing about them:

@kimmyisachiisaiakuma - ugh of course?? like in my head we are already besties fr fr, what can i saaaay😭 idk i love you and how supportive and just friendly you are!!:) and god of course, i love your art?? but i’ve already said it a thousand times??? so here’s one thousand first??

@bunnylove1 - just how supportive you are towards my stuff and how with exactly one request i felt like we also became besties? maybe it’s just me but yeah😭

@blookyag - liking my every post and responding to every single one of them!!! she’s a treasure, really. i’m surprised someone cares about my rambling this much💀

@informist - i’ve noticed that she’s also reacting to a lot of my stuff and she’s so quick with it like?? idk it makes my heart jump okay? i love attention from people even when it’s just my stupid rambling😭 (#iamanattentionwhore 😗😗)

@rougecreator1 - liked a lot of my posts as well, and somehow i feel like they enjoy my stuff? idk tho?😭😭 yeah just noticed interactions in my activities:)

@riveramorylunar - i feel like we were more active on each other’s accounts when i was still in my lady lesso era, but idk i really liked you then and i still love seeing your stuff pop up on my main page:)

and of course, all of my lovely anons who send me their ideas that i can’t wait to write!!:)

🎨: link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it:

okay so like it changes every day?? but for now i must say this one:

click!

why? simple. a. brokerdoll b. the marvellous style? c. i want to draw like that d. just… just look at it okay? e. lesbians.

(and a special mention for THIS as well, as it’s the first time someone ever drawn my oc and besides the fact that she looks so pretty here it’s just… idk i just love it okay, she stole my heart)

🍄: share a headcanon for one of your favourite ships or pairings:

let’s start with the fact that i even have a favourite account for all the headcanons about brokerdoll which is @vypridae (adore all the hcs, really)

buut! my personal headcanon is:

• carmilla didn’t really expect to fall for velvette, i mean in my head she just saw her as so… respectless and dumb and stupid and careless and carefree and wild and free and pretty- wait

yeah, so in my head velvette was the first to initiate anything and at first carmilla was like “ha! no way, you stupid girl” but then she started to think more and more about velvette as the time went on and one day she just got along the fact that she might be attracted to the young overlord and somehow… went with it? like she didn’t make a big deal out of it… but velvette definitely did, despite the fact she was actually the first one to say or act on her attraction in any way.

(i need to write more headcanons for them, they’re literally eating up my brain)

#camilarambles #ask camila!#camilaanswersasks #brokerdoll

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creepytoes88 · 1 year ago

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Ao’nung HeadCannons

He absolutely Hates getting his hair done he’s not very patient anyways, but having to sit still with his mom tugging on his scalp just for it to be ruined in a week or two from his constant swimming it’s not worth his time or energy that is why it’s usually in a bun with a few braids to his scalp so it doesn’t knot so easy when he does finally let ronal redo the braids n bun

He loves flowers sure there are pretty sea shells ,rocks of all shapes n sizes and colors and bits of colorful coral but flowers man they take his breath alway from the simple flowers to the rarest of them all, he can’t help but stare in awe excitedly smelling them unfortunately that has resulted in a few mishaps from him have a sneezing fit or his face itches but the worst one was he fell asleep for the entire day and most of the night waking up groggy in the middle of eclipse

He isn’t the biggest fan of fish yeah ik that is like the main thing they eat sue me lol it’s not that he disliked all fish but he’s pretty picky of a eater one of those people that eat like the same 6 meals that’s him lol however I feel like he’s a slut for berries and I mean all the berries lol keeps them bad boys on hand for snackin

He loves to lay in the sun even as a child when him and his friends would run off of from their parents watching eyes to play in the water he would always end up on shore with his back leaning against a near by tree covered slightly by shade soaking in the sun into his beautiful blue skin even now as an adult he spend most of his spare time laying in the sun

He’s a great singer most males in the metkayina Clan usually don’t sing much like the Omaticaya clan, but it’s not necessarily frowned upon by the people but he loves to sing, he feels it’s just another way to free his mind from the constant pressure and expectations of other people when he’s singing his gear out he can just be him even if it’s just for a song

He LOVES bugs like so very very very much when he was just a child maybe 4 or 5 he started trying to bring them home to which of course Ronal said “hell nah boy you crazy” of course Tono being the softy he is couldn’t tell his precious baby boy no (the only one allowed to was ronal but she was the only one to tell tono’wari no too lol ) but it kinda just stuck with him as he got older he really loves butterflies the most he loves to take care of the small caterpillars feeding them and watching them grow into the beautiful chrysalis hanging from the large cage he has them in to prevent them getting way or someone messing with them once they hatch before they can fully open their wings ofc once they do he brings them some sweet fruit juice and feeds them from his finger before letting his little babies fly off into the world it’s his favorite part because he gets to start all over again!

He has a bad habit of doing before thinking without out a doubt getting him in trouble nearly everyday he’s been cleaning the Ilus for years now it’s not even a punishment anymore besides he loves animals sometime more then his people

He can’t make jewelry it either falls apart or it’s terrible ugly and the string looks to bulky with the clumsy knots he used to keep the shells and rocks in place but he can make a MEAN net okay like this man right here makes the strongest nets the clan has ever seen making it possible to catch big fish in the seasons where the fish are hard to find, they scoop that big bitch up and just take it to shore before thanking it for its sacrifice to feed the clan in this time of need (thank you great beast that he doesn’t want to eat but will lol)

He’s a cuddle monster from the time he was just a baby he was attached to his dear mom making everyone think he’s gonna be a mamas boy with out a doubt but from the time he was able to follow his dad around while ronal took care of the sick and his baby sister he realized his dad had not a single problem carrying his son on his back, in fact tono’wari liked to carry him because he felt like he missed out on the the cuddly years of his childhood his son being almost 6 now but soon realizing his beautiful son was just as much interested in being held by his sempal as he was his mother, soon moving him to carry him with one arm under him and one around his small Frame keeping him safe from all danger he’s sons head firmly pressed his chest as he snoozes away, even as an adult he finds himself cuddling his family lol when his parents are sitting in bed doing their little routines of getting ready for bed like ronal sewing up some clothes and Tono fixing up a net for the hunt tomorrow, he would lay between them just talking about their days before making his way to his baby sisters room touching her stuff, making muscles at himself in the mirror, and pulling her hair the classic big brother things he gives her a big bone crushing hug just to hear her complain before dropping her on her plush nest of a bed before making his way to his own house lol

Small head cannon for baby Ao’nung

Dedicated to @prettiestplanetarian

Ao’nung had just takin his first steps not to long ago now pretty much confident in his ability to get around, Tono was a very proud sempal saying that it was a sign from eywa that he was destined for great things for learning to walk so fast and so easy at that in fact that was exactly what he was bragging about to a few of the warriors that were also new to parent hood. Completely engrossed in the conversation to see his brave little boy completely fucking taking off like vvvvvvvvvvvrrrroooooom!!!!! right down the path to the beach like he knew where his little legs were carrying him he didn’t even hesitate to jump belly first into the water shortly after being taken further in the water by the large waves sucking him further further unfortunately the poor baby has no idea what swimming is he just knows that the water is fun that he loves the water. Right now as he has difficulties breathing he’s very scared tears running down his face right before he could take a big gulp of water an ilu swam up to him placing her nose right under his belly lifting him out of the water enough to breath before swimming him to shore placing the baby on the sand nuzzling against him to keep him warm in the cool air as if she knows that he needs help immediately, just as the baby starts to come back to reality not so scared anymore his sempal comes running with many worried warriors by his side, before snatching him off the ground crying tears of joy thanking the animal and eywa for watching over his precious baby boy in his time of negligence so happy that he is still here safe and smiling so brightly all while petting his sempals face as if to say “hey dad look I’m tough all in one piece see”

I hope y’all liked it I was gonna do one similar to nat’tayams but I thought I wouldn’t be able to make it much different the his tbh I did put something about food in this one tho lol I think I like this better anyways thanks for reading y’all and I honestly could do more of these this is just what’s on the top of my mind rn lol

Taglist: none mostly because she’s already tagged and I’m not gonna do it twice that’s weird lol if you’d like to be added for when I post (only stuff to read ofc) I’d be glad to tag you ❤️

#Ao’nung #Ao’nung smut #avatar #avatar twow #new followers #headcannons #thank god hashtags arent cringe here

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golbrocklovely · 6 months ago

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Do you ever get tired of the drama? I took a step back from the fandom years ago because it was absolutely exhausting me. It seems like it’s gotten worse somehow and I was just wondering how you do it. How do you keep up with the asks? How do you keep from banging your head into a wall? How do you not get exhausted when you get asked the same old shit every. single. time?

oh, absolutely the drama gets tiring to me lmao

when i first started out, i never intended for my account to become known as the gossip account. i just wanted a place for ppl to come and vent about the fandom if they needed to anonymously bc i knew how the fandom was about being honest, since there were times i had opinions that made me feel like i was the outlier compared to everyone else.

but it kinda became this way on accident. and now i just kinda accept it for what it is. i know i got a lot of eyes on me, and i know a lot of ppl know about me without really knowing me, if that makes any sense lol

originally tho, and especially for at least the first two years of me doing this, i would answer every ask no matter what. but now i don't do that as much, or at the very least, i take a while to get to every one i plan on answering. bc look, if you come on here and are really rude to either me, snc, or just in general ppl i like - i'm not gonna answer you. it's just that simple. and also, sometimes i don't have the energy to answer everyone. i am one person after all, hearing literally everyone's opinions. so it's a lot sometimes.

and i do get tired about talking in circles with certain topics. i usually try to let everyone know "hey, i'm done talking about this" in some way or another - whether via an answer to an ask or just straight up turning off my ask box for a while. bc what i've noticed is that most topics are just a 24-48 hours thing max. after that, ppl move onto other things. so if it ever gets super stressful to me, and it does occasionally, i just turn off my ask box and turn it back on the next day. and by then, everyone has moved on for the most part.

and i think the biggest thing i had to learn in doing all of this is separating snc from the fandom. bc snc aren't angels. i know they've fucked up before, or just generally done things i don't agree with. however, if i genuinely thought they were bad ppl, i wouldn't be a fan of them. i wouldn't spend all of this time or money or energy into giving them attention. snc don't piss me off, but the fandom does. and separating the two of them has made it so much easier to stick around. bc when the fandom pisses me off, it doesn't reflect how i feel about snc anymore.

not only that, but when i'm not here, i'm disconnected. i might still watch snc's vids or whatever, but i'm not thinking about the fandom. when i log off, i don't give the drama a second thought. and that has saved me a lot of anxiety and anger. that being said, i also think there are a lot of fans that can't do that, which is why they get so frustrated at every little thing. but i get it at the same time bc i was like that for a while.

also, if i'm completely honest, some of the drama is fun to me bc it's not life or death. we aren't talking about something serious or direly, nine times out of ten the drama is about colby's love life or sam's philosophical takes or something dumb like that. it's not that deep. that's why i can have fun with it lol which is why i implore others to not get so hung up on the details or get upset when they don't know everything or make every drama the biggest deal ever. if it was that serious, we all would know.

but this is also why i get annoyed when this fandom, especially for the past like six months, have been having tantrums left right and center over snc and the girls. like… this should be fun. we should be able to kiki and laugh and move about our day without insulting anyone in the process. and yet… somehow that's an issue for everyone now. not for me or really anyone on here, but… other places sksks

at this point, i try to enjoy what i can and keep it pushing. i have a whole life outside of snc that i worry about waaaaayyyyyy more, and that's why the drama only gets to me so much. this is supposed to be my entertainment, so when it's not, i clock out. and only come back when it seems enjoyable again.

#ask #personal

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m39 · 7 months ago

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Doom WADs’ Roulette (2009): Killing Adventure

Br1: Killing Adventure

Main author(s): Ruba

Release date: September 5th, 2009 (database upload)

Version(s) played: ???

Required port compatibility: ZDoom

Levels: 32 (30 + 2 standard)

Killing Adventure… confuses me. At first glance, it looks like a typical 1994 slop made by a twat who has more farts in his head than brain matter. But something tells me there is more to it than it shows. It might actually be self-aware Troll WAD made to piss people off.

Is it true though? From what I’ve heard about its author, he was definitely a troll in the community. But I must play this WAD to be entirely sure about it, so let’s get into it.

Starting with me, feeling like WADs from the mid-90s’ looked better than Killing Adventure. I do realize that the maps were done like this on purpose, but it doesn’t change the fact that they look overly basic, stale, dull, and other synonyms of the word boring.

I liked the music, though. At least half of it feels relaxing to listen to (MAP11 might have the best track), although, there are also tracks that are more blood-pumping.

I hope you like patience because this WAD will test it. Although the maps are simple and I don’t think you will get lost playing them, almost all of the maps seem to feature one, rather small square/rectangle/whatever-shaped area that constantly repeats itself and has the same roster of enemies in (probably) almost every single one of them. You might feel like you are running in circles.

Thankfully, there are maps that create shortcuts after reaching a key or some other important place. That’s always nice in a WAD.

Some of the maps tend to be more interesting than others. Jail for instance will kill all enemies in cages when you reach the end of it, so, if you want to, you can spice it up by ignoring everything on your path (except barrels of course) and just run to the exit.

Hundred Demon Fortress (I’m slightly changing titles to be written correctly) is basically a pun to the fact, that you fight one hundred Pinkies in the area next to the start.

Death Row Ultima, meanwhile, makes you choose the correct switch to open the door with Romero’s head, otherwise, it sends an Arch-vile squadron on your ass. Still a better ending for the WAD than another Icon of Shit.

There are also maps that use Keens either in the form of secret-hunting or just stagnating your progress until you kill all of them, with Column Shift Punch Halls being the biggest example of the mechanic related to them.

Also, three of the maps from this WAD use fans’ favorite – chess-moving floor filth.

vomit noises

sigh

I don’t think it’s worth talking about how funny this WAD is since it’s yet another case of LUL SOS RANDUMP crap that most of the Mockaward winners at this point did.

I’m gonna say it now, but Killing Adventure feels like Mock 2 lite. I only watched MtPain’s April Fools’ review on the latter, but I felt like the WAD was making fun of many elements that appeared in the Doom maps back then (hell, even now), focusing on one thing per map. This WAD, as I said earlier, most of the time is the same thing with one, small area repeating itself ad nauseam. Its joke, at best, became stale after MAP11. And I’m surprised that I managed to properly play these maps twice without falling asleep.

Most of the time, the WAD was rather easy, but there were moments when it got hard (not for a good reason of course). Arch-viles on Grey and Easy smell of lots of bullshit (I got lucky on my second try), and Pyramidal Hell might look like hell, but if you know how to get to the exit, you can just grab an invun and run there (secret exit is behind the regular one).

And, uhm… I think that’s it. Killing Adventure tries to be funny, yet now that I think about it, it fails to deliver on that. It fails as regular WAD, a joke WAD, and it’s basically a worse version of Mock 2 on every level. You might get a chuckle out of it when you play it the first time, but after that, there is nothing to laugh at.

Let’s hope that’s the last poor-quality WAD from 2009. Luckily, the next Doom map on the list promises something better.

Don’t read my next review if you are afraid of clowns.

#doom #doom wad #review #doom mod #doom 2 #doom 2009 #2009 #killing adventure #doom killing adventure #doom wads’ roulette #cacowards #mockaward

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ultyso · 1 year ago

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So my friend let us come over to try the XVI demo on their PS5.

Overall I’d give it a 6/10. Not something I’d immediately rush to buy a PS5 for. But if I did own a PS5 already, I wouldn’t object to buying the game.

Here’s my thoughts included below. Forewarning this point forwards is spoiler territory:

So played the demo and there are some things I liked and some things that’d prob be better the more I’d get to play. But from just the Demo, it just didn’t really hype me up as much as it did for others. I’m not really into medieval type games, which prob is a major factor. But, I didn’t want this to deter me so tried to give this a fighting chance by going in with an open mind.

For those who may not know, I’ve played many FF. Not every single one out there but to give some info on what I have if it means anything for you: VI, VII series, VIII, IX, X series, XII partly, XIII series, XIV slightly, XV

The first Eikon fight, reminded me of Panzer Dragoon so thought that was kind of neat. Starting the game off with fighting Ifrit just had me thinking of how XV had started with an Ifrit as well. I figured after this fight it would move back to the past afterword, but it didn’t do it as quickly. I did like the whole fight, found it interesting. ^^

The UI is nice and simple. I like how it’s all formatted, easy to pick up and learn. Nothing cluttered.

For gameplay, this is probably the strongest point it has. It feels like an enhanced gameplay of XV, making it much better. I like all the different skills you can acquire (based on what I saw for the Eikon challenge mode I played after.) I honestly like the most how the dodging is in the game. It’s such a simple thing, but idk it just moved so smoothly, I liked it.

Not having to hit any buttons to pick up items was probably the best thing to! Biggest grievance with XV with the pick up/interact and jump being same button was so annoying.

I know everyone said it was super lax but the scene with Bernadictka and Titan dude still made me uncomfortable as hell 😂

I do find the ‘oh we must go and do this important task but first do this random side quest’ so you can learn further fight mechanics, felt a bit wonky and could have flown more seamlessly a different way. Just kinda took me out. I liked Wade he amused me. The marlboro fight was interesting, fairly simple, I liked how they did the QTE events but I felt it dragged on longer than needed to be, like health a little too high. So sometimes the fighting got boring.

I wish the environments were less dull looking. Everything is so grey. I hope this is not so much the further in you go. The only times it looked visually very pretty were the Eikon fights.

As for the characters, I’m not really feeling anyone. honestly a lot just def give generic NPC vibes. None really made me care about them a whole lot. Except Torgal. I loved the furry baby. Clive not really anything omg about him. He’s typical duty bound character. He’s just ok. The dad tho lookin nice 👀👀 well till they killed him off right in front of poor Joshua, poor kid gonna have major trauma. I was sad they killed him off already. This whole scene just like XV. betrayal and killing the dad part. Uhm the wife is an asshole, scumbag I forget her name. Joshua is alright. He’s just trying his best. His voices sounds weird to me sometimes when it gets all cracky, but I can tolerate it. This other dude I forget the name of just looks like Clive with a slight different hair cut. Also wtf my sis wasn’t kidding with her issues with there being no diversity to the designs. Everyone looking like generic white dudes lmao.

The map looks so much like how Stranger of Paradise is. Which made me a little eh. Hope we’ll be able to manually travel more than what was given.

Poor Joshua for getting all beat up by Ifrit like that was so not okay 😤 Poor kid. If anything with Joshua, I just feel bad for the mess this kid has had to go through already.

When I got to the thanks for playing, I was all ‘that’s it?’ So it was engaging enough I wanted to continue playing despite some of the issues I had. Hoping that a lot of what I was meh of will be improved upon later as you’ll get to know characters more and move to new places.

Uhm those were main things I remember. So some good and bad but a lot of things left me lackluster. It is pretty much what I expected I’d feel based on my thoughts from the trailers, they didn’t change much. My main thought was that like Stranger of Paradise, the gameplay would be more engaging than story, which it is too for XVI for me. I personally wouldn’t call this game the pinnacle of Final Fantasy. It doesn’t scream the best of the best, at least just from demo standpoint. Thoughts could change the more that is played beyond.

I’m not super hooked. If I had a PS5 I’d buy the game. It’s not a game that I’d be all “I need to buy a PS5 stat” I can wait it out. It’s overall just an OK game. Of course, these are just my opinions. Everyone else is clearly ok to like it lmao.

#ffxvi spoilers #FFXVI Demo Spoilers #FFXVI #FFXVI Demo #Final Fantasy #Final Fantasy XVI #Spoilers #UltySo Talks #Long post

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beaniehasapoliticalviewpoint · 2 years ago

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An Opening Statement:

When impressing myself into the world of politics as a kid, I always thought I’d be the cool motherfucker that’d band people together to fight against an oppressive government and liberate the minority. And then, I realized that

1. People don’t like to listen to other people

2. It’s really hard to get America to stop being lazy

3. There’s more countries than America out there

That third one is a big one, I’d say, and it defines a lot of what makes the world what it is.

“American Exceptionalism is the belief that the United States is either distinctive, unique, or exemplary compared to other nations.” - Donald E. Pease (I think, that’s what Wikipedia said they got the quote from)

You see, I live in a country that loves to suck it’s own dick, and pass around the fruits of that labour by spreading its seeds of “democracy” and “freedom” onto other countries that did not ask. Now, I love my country, I think US propaganda does a great job of making even the most US hating individual feel proud to love this country, and I do in fact feel wonderful every single day knowing I’m a citizen of the country that loves to spout off how free it is. I’m also not blind, it’s also a damn shame what the country looks like now. Shit, let’s be honest, the American government is an absolute cesspool of old dudes jerking each other off and making fuck tons of money doing it, which, by the way, could very easily be cut to go into our economy, but I digress, the American government is at core the fault of our country, and by god thank you for letting us see that, and giving us the option to vote them out- except we don’t. Because no one votes. And when they do, it’s always “vote blue no matter who” or “trump is the best”, stupid shit like that. The solution? Simple. Hell, let’s cut this whole chapter down to two simple words. “Start. Reading.”. It’s that simple. I mean, we literally have the biggest goddamn treasure trove of information ever held accessible to the common man, and y’all motherfuckers use it to argue whether or not trans people should get rights. They should by the way. Because they’re people. Expanding off that, I’m not saying I’m not guilty of the same stupid shit. My heart strings soar when I see some dumb shit confederate get clowned on online. But none of it means anything. I can talk smack all I want on this earth but it’s not gonna make it any greener. We’re members of a generation capable of making the most change, and we have been given the greatest informative platform to do it on. Stop staring at the next controversy when they made Ariel black; who the fuck cares if they removed a gay character from a show. While y’all weren’t looking, they let Florida allow first responders to legally deny medical care at their own whim, based on their beliefs. Imagine if you pissed some motherfucker off in 8th grade when you snitched on him for passing notes in class, and then 10 years later you go to a specialist, the same guy, and he denies you care because he’s a salty motherfucker, and you DIE. Who let this law pass? Certainly not the citizens of Florida, you guys are fucking awesome, but can’t see the obvious issues here.

We, as citizens of the United States, are held victim by our own beliefs and emotions. We impose our own restrictions on ourselves, by acting like the differences in the world is because one side lives a different kind of life. We draw so much attention to the smallest of differences, the pigment of our skin, who we love, who we want to be, and we miss the big picture. It’s not republicans Vs. democrats, the gays Vs the church or the north Vs the south (god forbid that shit happens again), it’s the fucking people Vs the goddamn government, and it always has been. Every distraction from our common goal of uniting against corruption gives more power to the corrupt, and they fucking LOVE it. And no, this isn’t me saying if you think gay people are inherently evil or some shit that’s ok. It’s not. You’re weird. Weirdo. This is me saying theirs a far larger issue at hand that could kill us all, and both of y’all need to shut the fuck up and look around you.

So yeah. I’m trying to be the cool motherfucker that bands the oppressed together against a common enemy. I wish I could. I’d be lying to myself, and you, if I said something like, “I’ve grown”. I haven’t. I’m no better than the person next to me, no greater than the young child behind me or the older folk in front. We’re all equal in a struggle against power. (And NO this isn’t some Marx shit, the economy is a joke and I’ll get to that later) All I’m saying is, we could do with a lot more loving in this world, because shit, that would make me feel a helluva lot better, and I’m sure you would too.

Remember when I said that thing about American Exceptionalism? Promise I didn’t forget about it while I ranted about America. Because it’s wrong. We aren’t special. We’re one empire in the long line of many, not the first nor the last. The entire world is out there, billions of people, millions of cultures, thousands more being made. Many suffering a helluva lot more than my upper middle class in college ass. Many living a lot more luxurious than I am too. Despite us all being the same species we manage to become so different, global divisions of “countries” and “nations”. I can’t speak of the minds of everyone, because I’m not everyone. I can’t say that every single person should act some way, because I didn’t grow up in their shoes, in their home. Everyone lives different lives, everyone lives differently. So why the hell should my country pretend to know what’s best for them. American “global security” is an authoritarian grip on the less fortunate, for our benefit. And only the people can fix that.

#politics #america #swearing #rant #canijustwriteanythinginthetagsectionandgetawaywithit?immisusingthisfeatureforsure

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francisp0rter · 2 years ago

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BLINDSPOT/ROCKIFICATION

Why does this dude have such a massive blindspot when it comes to trap and street rap?

Just take a look at his new top 50 albums list. Not one trap or drill album. Not a single one. Are you fucked in the head? How are you gonna call yourself "the internet's busiest music nerd" when you don't even acknowledge the existence of the biggest rap subgenre in the world currently.

Imagine leaving Babyface Ray, Icewear Vezzo, BabyTron, Quavo & Takeoff, Duvy, Lucki, iayze etc. off of your end of the year list in favour of some generic, derivative garbage like The Forever Story. Just try and imagine that. Try and imagine having that bad of taste while also calling yourself "the internet's busiest music nerd."

The bald man seems like a nice guy but he needs to learn to listen to music properly. You're supposed to be this bigtime music critic right? So why you still listen to music like a fan then?

The thing that drives me nuts about Fantano is the simple fact that he tries to cover pretty much all music in the popular and indie spheres. There's a reason that reporters and critics have "beats" or specific areas of expertise that they cover. Pitchfork wouldn't send Al Pierre to review a Carly Rae Jepsen record. They know that's not his wheelhouse. They'll get Dylan Green or some other poptimist sycophant to do that kind of bidding. So why is Fantano reviewing shit that he doesn't like, is never going to like, and doesn't understand? That's not to say critics shouldn't give negative reviews. That would be ridiculous. I'm saying that a critic should not speak on music that they don't understand, and based on Fantano referring to Chief Keef's "Finally Rich" as "ridiculous novelty" (as well as his general ignorance on street rap), I think it's fair to say that he has no understanding of it. A 16 year old kid recounting all the murder, addiction, and destruction he's seen in his life is "ridiculous novelty" to you? Come the fuck on, bald man.

Remember when this dude was sucking off Brockhampton being all buddy buddy with them? That shit was unbelievable. What kind of self respecting music critic would ever make friends with an artist? There is a very necessary division between critic and artist and you can't just go around playing jump rope with it. Lester Bangs didn't start kissing up to Lou Reed when he interviewed him, despite Reed being Bangs' idol. No. He did the exact opposite. He called Lou Reed a bitch to his face and said his music sucks now and he should give it up. That's a real critic.

This guy needs to realize that traditional albums have never been a good way to consume rap music. Sure, you get an Illmatic or a Butterfly every now and then, but for the most part rap is a singles genre, and rappers' attempts to create albums in the rock & roll tradition (ten to fifteen songs, cohesive, with a curated tracklist and reflective cover art) is always annoying. It rarely ever works out. That's why J. Cole sucks so bad on albums but on features he's pretty good. Because when he's on a feature or a single he's just rapping. He's not concerned with making some great cohesive rap album, he's just spitting bars.

Idk. I love albums. I hate them in the context of rap sometimes. I "hate" them for the same reason that I hate when rappers perform with a live band. This is Hip Hop. It's not rock music. We don't need to conform the genre to the popular standards of music, because none of this was ever about that. The whole thing I fell in love with about rap, besides the music itself, is that it existed in stark contrast to and firm defiance of established musical norms. Rappers didn't try and be popstars. If one became a popstar, like Em or Wayne or Hov, it was almost always in spite of them being a rapper, not because of it. And I loved that. I mean, it's great that rap is popular now, but also it's terrible at the same time. I'm glad more people are being exposed to it, but also I wish that they would please just leave us alone and stop trying to make this genre into something it's not.

I'm aware that I'm not making the clearest point here, so let me say this: Trap and drill music are the new blues. It is a hyper-violent blues, but it is blues nonetheless in that it is poetics and rhythms that speak on a working class Black American experience. And it is being received with the same ignorance and narcissism that blues was received with.

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phantomrose96 · 2 years ago

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Chrissy help how do you keep motivation for such huge writing projects?? I've seen you posting about abot for a long time but I just clicked it and it's got like 360k words. My guy you are incredible and if you've got secrets to share I'd be very interested. Major props to you

(ABoT)

I'm hoping to resurrect Dickinsonian-era "paid by the word" writing gigs and retire off ABoT Kidding! kidding! I make 0 dollars and 0 cents off ABoT do not sue me IP holders.

More genuinely it's a couple things I guess. One big and simple one being just--I really like the story. It's long because there are a lot of parts I like and wanted to tell. Another is spite, because for a long period of time between 2017-2020 I thought I would never be able to come back to the story so it's something of a "fuck you look what I made anyway."

But I really REALLY think the biggest part to this all was the (tough, but doable) process of learning to be okay with this story taking however long it's gonna take, and being however long it's gonna be.

Back in the days when Tumblr was really a hub for fandom, fandom attention was extremely fleeting, and when you had any of it, it felt like it was always moments away from vanishing. Tourmaline, my 80k Steven Universe fic, I wrote in the span of just over 2 months. I had a chapter out roughly every 2-3 days for that entire sprint. I'm proud of pulling that off. But my main motivation for doing that was absolutely the fear of losing people's attention and interest if I dawdled even a little.

Early-days ABoT was like that too. The first 9 or 10 chapters were all posted in intervals of about 2-3 days apart. I was staying up extremely late to do this which wasn't good for me and I was doing it because I was afraid of losing people's interest and I was getting more intimidated the more I realized how long ABoT would likely be. And then for school and life reasons, my update schedule absolutely had to slow. And I was having a bad time because it was like I could feel myself losing readers and losing relevance, and the backlash was growing, and even when I was finding the time to write I'd started burning out hard on my passion for the story. I'd get frustrated with my own plot and characters, and you can't write a good passion project while frustrated with the characters.

And then I kinda quietly admitted defeat because the stress and the backlash were too much to handle and I couldn't wring anymore of this from myself. After a 1 year, 2 years, I was pretty much sure my readership was long gone. I still thought about the story constantly! I still cared. I just figured I'd missed my window and would never be able to come back except to backlash.

Then just shy of 3 years, I said "fuck it, actually" and wrote the next chapter (okay it was a lot more complicated than "fuck it" but that would take too long to explain.) And in FACT, a ton of the readership came back! It was an extremely warm reception! And new readers, too. Just a lot of really warm, positive feedback. Which absolutely blew my mind because it was completely at odds with my feeling that things needed constant updates to cling to relevance. And the idea of "well if they waited 3 years..." has helped me a lot with allowing time and breaks between chapters. I don't burn out on them. I edit them more. My update schedule's been more like 2-6 weeks between chapters, rather than days.

Allowing that down time, letting ABoT be a steady jog instead of an all-out sprint, has been absolutely crucial to getting as far through it as I am. Even right now, it's been pretty long since chapter 45. I dove super deep into putting ch45 together and I kinda needed some time off after to decompress and step away to not risk burn out. Which was very needed and helpful and now I'm back to chugging through ch46.

There was an old comment, I think on Reddit, that I read years ago which has stuck with me ever since. Someone was recounting a conversation with a single mother who was considering going back to college to get her degree, but was hesitant to do so because she would be 40 by the time she graduated. To which the other person responded "You'll be 40 anyway."

And "you'll be 40 anyway" plays in my head a lot. Like, ABoT's been going for almost 6 years. Well 6 years were going to pass anyway. ABoT might not be done for x-many more months. X-many more months are gonna pass anyway. Time's gonna happen anyway. So I'm not worried about whether this thing is still going by then or not. I'm just keeping at it until it's done.

#ask #abot #a breach of trust

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josiebelladonna · 1 year ago

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you know, the more i think about it, the more this shit makes me mad. worse, i can't hardly talk to anyone about it, because i'm always met with condescending horse shit like "suck it up" and "you should do it for yourself" (listen, if i was doing this bullshit for myself, i wouldn't be public with it), or i'm met with less-than-helpful comments like "but your art is awesome!"

not gonna lie, i actually cringe when i see the word "awesome" thrown my way because i saw that SO MUCH in 2015/2016 when i was starting to lose it with all of them (not to sound grandiose or anything, but i relate to jimi hendrix on that level: he was the same way, he didn't want to be called "awesome" or "talented" because he knew it wouldn't help him).

on a side-note: no, i don't think this is what led me to give that former friend "tough love" earlier this year, because i promise what i said to them was not tough love. i was genuinely concerned for them and completely baffled as to why they weren't doing anything but complaining about every little thing, and even more baffled when they turned it into a gender thing. to exert tough love is to tell someone straight-up to take responsibility, i may have insinuated it by saying i don't know why you're not doing anything (besides, that fucking idiot wouldn't know it if it fell out of the sky and hit them in the head; I know tough love, they don't. kira is a ticking time-bomb, mollycoddled out the nose while engaging in risky, often gross behavior: it's only a matter of time before they get pregnant, contract an std or some kind of disease, or get in trouble with the wrong people all because they're surrounded by ass-kissers and enablers).

and my family really are out of their fucking minds, too: i remember the drama that ensued after i met chris. it was a huge deal for me, meeting him in september 2015 (8 years already, my god), and it was in no one's place to corner me and demand what comes after that, which is exactly what my dad did. i finally came out and said - i remember saying this, too, word for word - "don't message me unless it's important because i want to be alone for a while." simple, right? i'm taking a break because i want to figure things out.

seems simple enough... right?

cue everyone bombarding me with messages. cue the weird texts and phone calls every single day from my dad and my brother demanding if i'm okay at all (and cue the slight ptsd i get whenever my mom gets a text). cue every single one of them talking about me behind my back and concluding that i have severe depression and i'm completely mental (when ironically, i was actually doing a lot better at that point, like meeting chris gave me a great deal of clarity). cue my mom getting caught up in the crossfire all because i turned my phone off, i.e., set a boundary. cue my brother pitching a fit and calling me names and being the biggest asshole since my worst bully. cue getting either screamed at or patronized and painted the bad guy whenever i tried to give an explanation (that alone is enough to trigger a depression or bout or anxiety, like my family really does hate me, don't they). cue their health issues the last several years even though i'm the healthiest i've ever been as i write this (gee, i wonder why?) cue my sis-in-law showing me dirty looks at my grandma's funeral the following june really for no reason - and that's my one regret with her, too, like she died a month later whilst barring a grudge against me. cue all of them treating me like a delicate flower - even though i'm literally thinking about things like running marathons and triathlons once i get fit enough - and asking me if i'm okay at all with every phone call and every gathering and really, to the point that i really just don't want to be around them anymore if this is how it's going to be. cue all of this... really, just because i wanted some space and time to myself. it was the whole "i've been chill this whole time, you're the one freaking out" taken to its absolute worst conclusion.

and i'm wanting space again. except i learned my lesson this time. i quietly logged off last night because... i don't deserve that. chris was a big deal to me, he was my friend - and to make matters even worse, my dad rides on my coattails about it.

but you know, now that i write this, i'm kind of glad that they all overlooked that testament drawing (nor is anyone under the impression that the painting of chris and mike mccready i made for mike inspired that rock opera about chris that's in the works; in fact, i don't think any of them even know about that painting, i don't remember sharing it on facebook). more of them for me~ it's rosh hashanah, and there are apples and a chocolate babka in the kitchen, so i say "let them eat cake."

wow, i shared that drawing on facebook, and NOBODY MOVED (meanwhile it’s up to 1200 likes on ig). and in fact, i was given the whole “that’s nice” treatment by virtually everyone, except it was completely unspoken.

it’s exactly like the time soundgarden shared that one drawing all over again. it’s summer 2016 all over again, except this is actually worse: soundgarden, i kind of saw it coming (i also wound up disliking that drawing, too, because i made it during a very grim time of my life). i had no clue testament’s social media person would dead-ass message me about my drawings of them: i’m also really proud of that drawing.

i could get a book deal for a coffee table book, and i could make a comic for the whole bay area strikes back thing, and i would still get outshined by someone and my family would still be ungrateful.

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ravenadottir · 2 years ago

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What do u think about the opinion that s2's nain LI was Gary with lottie being the season villain and hope being mcs bff. Ppl have been posting about it

this is gonna get long, grab a snack. i've got a lot to say on this matter

((um, future vena here... this post has 2.188 words... like i said, i have a lot to say!)) (quick observation. the tone i acquire at some point, in this post, is not directed to you anon, it's directed at lottie. ok, let's get started)

i was possibly the first one to say gary is the main li, anon.

'cause here's the thing... when the season ended, fusebox released a FAQ, and in there they said bobby's popularity was a surprise to them. they didn't say who was their biggest bet, but i do think it was gary.

think about his route, and what it takes to not only go through it but also to get him again. it's day 1, then day 9, but in between you have plenty of opportunities to sneak around and have secret kisses while being coupled up with someone else.

you have hannah and marisol pining for him, someone else choosing you and stopping you from being a couple again. in the mean time he asks for advice on what to do about marisol, but at the same time there's a spark between you two, which is foreshadowed in the dialogue between the girls during brunch.

there's just too many hints about his couple not working and how displeased both of them are while together. and he does say mc is the person he feels closer to, and asks for a kiss right after.

lucas has become more popular after the season ended, and i do think because he's interchangeable, he wasn't a bet either. i don't think fusebox believed in his potential, which is crazy to me!

ibrahim will bring shannon back regardless, and then switch to jo. his personality doesn't fit with mc's, so it's also a no.

noah, as they called, was "a dirty little secret", and they have said multiple times he wasn't supposed to be end game.

henrik is also interchangeable, so i don't think he was either.

casa amor guys, poor boys, don't have much time to make an impression, and even if you bring them back, they end up sharing scenes and dialogues with the OG boys.

DON'T GET ME STARTED ON MARISOL AND ELISA. sloppy routes, inconsistent dialogues, reasoning that doesn't make any sense. jesus!

so yes, i do think, since the beginning, gary was fusebox' biggest bet.

now... lottie being the season villain fits her trope, and i say 'trope' and not 'arc' because she doesn't have one. not really. even if gary is not your li she's still very problematic and nosy. she just HAS to get involved, even when it doesn't concern her. she doesn't know the meaning of the phrase "stay in your lane" and just shoves herself in very single thing, but somehow mc is the one the tweet was talking about. *rolls eyes*

by the time the operation happens, she says she's done with the drama. but in the same night she doesn't explain herself and instead gives chelsea shit for telling everyone what she did.

lottie loves preaching about girl code but only follows through when it's beneficial to her. she's not supportive of mc if she's with gary, and there's a huge difference between lottie and hope.

the main one is noah always picking hope. by choosing to recouple, over and over, with the same girl, he's making a statement that he's into her and wants to continue on that couple. it's simple!

gary has never, not once, picked lottie over mc. there's no reason for her to believe that he has any deep feelings because he has never said it or done anything that reaffirms that.

i consider her a villain because she's possessive. she's delusional, toxic, problematic, and to top it all off, not a good friend. when did she ever approach mc to talk about her problems? spontaneously i mean.

because hope and chelsea do that. chelsea being programmed to be the best friend, hope, despite having her problems going down during the season, is also very supportive.

AND SHE'S FUCKING CUTE, because she declares mc is the only girl she sees being friends with her on the outside. does lottie do that? marisol? priya? jo? elisa? NO! it's so endearing when she says that, and even if you go for operation, she still trusts you by the end of the season, because she doesn't say anything about you going to the roof terrace with noah.

LIKE- if this was lottie she would throw a fit, you know she would!

lottie however doesn't respect people's boundaries, she doesn't leave it alone unless it's about her own wrong doing. she's an immature self righteous girl, who thinks power play is more important than real friendship.

biggest example of that is the cringe worthy line she delivers when leaving chelsea and priya hanging. "acquire some taste" is not a slay. it just isn't! it's her being confronted by something she did and not owning up to it, despite demanding everybody else to do it when she demands it!

it's really easy to go around and judge people on their mistakes, but if you cannot check yourself and think "maybe i'm being an asshole, let me listen a little, let me learn" you don't have maturity, you're not trying to grow up, you're not having a redemption.

the next day, when you put lottie and priya together, the only thing lottie does is victimize herself. "ah, i thought about leaving, i thought about hannah, me this, me that" but have you seen lottie apologizing to marisol, and admitting she was wrong?

NO!

have you seen her admitting she wasn't even that into rocco (because she was planning on hitting on gary by day 5, during the welcome party)?? she doesn't. she sits on the fact that she had already kissed the guy before marisol and rocco even connected.

fucking hypocritical as shit!

instead, she gives puppy eyes and i'm supposed to believe she's a better person? she only admitted what she did because chelsea had told everyone what happened. she hid the kiss and she was probably never gonna talk about it.

then they try to forcefeed this redemption arc, this maturing ??? i don't fucking think so.

now hope, and i've said this many times before, is a different case. there's no comparison when you put lottie and her side by side, because the situation is not the same, they don't act or react on the same manner.

hope is ENTITLED to feel that way, because she found out the guy that has reassured her multiple times has gone behind her back and talked to the person that betrayed her trust!

NOT ONLY THAT, BUT SHE FINDS OUT ABOUT IT IN FRONT OF EVERYONE!

are you telling me you would smile and calmly get up and invite both for a chat? 'cause i fucking wouldn't! this is the ultimate betrayal. even if noah was talking about mc, he still went to the person that just two days prior to that, had tried to kiss him!

and priya, who let's face it, is not any better or more mature, throws it on hope's face while in a group scene. everyone was there! and it happened right after hope found out that noah had an ex named priya.

COME THE FUCK ON, THE GIRL COULDN'T CATCH A BREAK FOR DAYS!

now tell me, what has happened to lottie, that was so humiliating that she hadn't done before? "ah, vena, but she had to watch her couple kiss another girl."

yeah, the girl whose trust had been betrayed by lottie herself FOUR DAYS PRIOR! and she kept that fact really fucking quiet! if anything, lottie is not entitled, lottie is not a victim, lottie is a damn villain.

this is just A FEW examples. i have plenty to go around. *cue circus song*

lottie criticizes hope for starting a game because that put hope in the spotlight;

she tries to mine priya's confidence when all of them were part of the day 1 cast, not that it would be ok to do it any other day, but calls herself a girl's girl; "i kNoW wHeRe mY LoYaLTiEs LiE", girl, shut the fuck up;

she judges gary by saying he looks like the type that only cares about soccer and drinks, but later on is offended that someone judged her;

she goes behind everyone's backs and kisses a guy that isn't her partner on the very same day her best friend leaves, best friend who was into said guy, and keeps it to herself;

keeps flirting with gary and henrik, even though she says it's the sign of a cheater when rocco does it;

lies/omits her mistakes on early days but says it out loud that bobby is a liar;

calls priya out on the slime challenge, but had the color green ready to go on her own body, which means she also rubbed against someone that wasn't her partner;

threatens to tell rahim about priya's slime challenge performance even though noah is not her couple;

when she asks mc if it's appropriate to choose gary, and mc says no, she disregards the advice and says "i've made up my mind anyway";

tries to play the victim when chelsea tells everyone about something wrong she did, and walks away leaving everyone hanging when lottie herself has demanded and followed people around to get explanations that didn't even concern her;

should i go on? alright:

first thing she does is changing the color of her hair because she thinks the guy that spent the night with her in the hideaway doesn't like it (fake confidence much???);

talks about an intimate moment she shared with him, WITHOUT THE GUY'S CONSENT, while dyeing her hair. so casual of her;

when sees kassam, immediately gets wet and proceeds to flirt and talk to him but when asked about gary she says "he better be ready for the consequences". CRINGE.

keeps claiming ownership on gary when she wasn't even with him (not that it would be okay for her to do it if she was), completely dismissing and ignoring mc's feelings in the process;

getting angry that ibrahim switched, even though he was having couple trouble before, and shames him for finding someone because now she's in danger of getting dumped. UNLESS HE WAS WITH MC BEFORE, in which case mc should be happy for him;

this is just the first 18 days. and not everything happened during gary's route. should i go on?

let's keep going!

lottie gives mc shit for being hurt about noah and hope getting back together, but insists that she and gary are meant to be, EVEN WHEN SHE WAS NEVER COUPLED UP WITH HIM;

when hannah comes back, lottie is afraid of the backlash she's gonna get, and not concerned ONE FUCKING BIT about having an opportunity to apologize to her so called best friend;

SHE FEELS THREATENED AND CONCERNED ABOUT GARY'S HEAD TURNING WHEN SHE'S NOT COUPLED UP WITH HIM; not only it's disrespectful to mc, but it's also disrespectful towards bobby, who has endured this fucking girl this entire time, the poor guy!

and after 25 days, we get the final recoupling, and an opportunity to tell her off about claiming gary as someone who has dibs on the last fry, and she still continues pining over him afterwards;

baby challenge, remember? even when she's with bobby, the baby's name is LARRY. lottie+gary. not only did she fail to get the guy, she also has a massive fail by trying to launch their couple name, AND AGAIN, SHE'S NOT WITH HIM;

now let me tell you something. she goes through all this, all this trouble, all this bothering and poor attitude, without having an arc, or redemption of any kind, just so he would dump her ass less than 3 months later.

she talks about his moves in bed in front of everyone while dancing in the prom; GIRL!

she just can't let go even though she knows they have nothing in common. a lot of people give shit to hope and noah because they would never work, but where's that energy for lottie and gary????

WHERE? they are just PHYSICAL, and somehow it's ok? it's passable? it's "goth girl and gamer golden retriever" energy??? it's cute???

NO! i see people that are not noah stans giving nope shit, but where's the shit for lottie and gary being the biggest disaster of a couple? where is it? i've been trying to find it and can only see when gary stans say something.

i think i made my point.

in conclusion, lottie is the villain because she's a bloody hypocrite who only cares about herself, doesn't own up to shit she does, criticizes people for the same mistakes she makes, has the cringiest fucking one liners i've ever heard, thinking she's the hottest shit in the villa, and to top it all off she blames it on being a scorpio (DON'T GET ME STARTED).

girl, you're not a queen, you're the jester, sit down and shut the fuck up.

#litg #litg gary #litg lottie #litg hope #litg noah #litg priya #love island the game #litg s2 #litg season 2 #queue

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jbreenr · 4 years ago

Text

Stunt –Sebastian Stan

Pairing: sebastian stan × reader

Summary: shooting a fight shouldn't be as difficult for two professional actors.

Word count: 3.4k

Warning: poorly written smut (+18 only, please), mild degradation, choking, oral sex (f receiving), explicit language, semi-public sex (???), unprotected sex (don't do that, kids. be responsible), this is a rpf so don't read if you're not comfortable with it.

A/N: after watching the assembled of tfatws and olli haaskivi's post about being chocked by the metal arm, inspiration hit me so, yeah. also, this is for @buckyownsmylife because she insisted that i should start writing and, how am i supposed to say no to her? i hope this thing makes sense and you like it at least a little. Lack of vocabulary, grammatical and orthographic mistakes abound. *apologizes in español*.

ᴹʸ ᵍⁱᶠ

“It is simple,” Kari, the director, started explaining. “while Anthony struggles to separate John from Karli in the background, you and Sebastian will have a little fight over here.” she gestured with her hands as she spoke. “After she tries to knock you out, you take her with you and corner her against that wall…”

Sebastian’s eyes followed every move the woman did, absorbing the information she was giving.

You were about to shoot a scene for The Falcon and the Winter Soldier and you were nervous. Not only because it was your first fighting sequence ever since you landed in Prague, but also because you were supposed to do all the maneuvers of your character. According to Kari, it was going to be a single, long and intricate shot, which made it impossible for the stunts to do it themselves.

After talking to the choreographer and making one vague demonstration with Sebastian, you practiced all week, moving left to right in the reduced space of your room, kicking the air, jumping around and failing miserably when you slipped off the edge of the bed more times than you cared to admit.

Only when you understood that you wouldn’t be able to do it alone, you tried asking Sebastian to help you with some movements in which his body was required. Of course, he was busier than he'd be in other circumstances, now playing one of the biggest roles of the show, and told you that he'd for sure help you later.

Later quickly turned to tomorrow and then to next week but you were fine with it, you knew his schedule was tight and if he was not working, he was probably getting some well deserved rest.

Insisting was something you thought of doing, of course, but changed your mind the day you bumped into John, his stuntman, and he offered to help you.

He was really funny and you enjoyed spending time with him. He knew his job. He taught you some tricks for when you needed punch someone or when you had to fall backwards and not break your neck in the process, but most importantly, he knew how to make the practicing seasons less awkward in that singularly difficult part.

“… And then you throw her to the mat. Got it?”

“Yeah, it's gonna be fun.”

Kari turned to you with a smile on her face. “Are you ready?” she asked, oblivious to the fact that you had been lost in your thoughts for the last few minutes.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah, I'm ready.” You reciprocated her smile.

Your eyes followed her as she walked away to sit on her chair. Behind her, you visualized John waving at you and giving you two thumbs up, signaling that he was there to cheer and support you.

“Hey,” Sebastian’s voice caught your attention. “Are you okay?” You looked at him in the eye and nodded. You were okay, only not sure if you were going to do a good job. “Don't worry, just imagine you're doing it with John.” And with that, he left you to go to his initial position.

His words stuck in your head for longer than they should have. The way he said them was… how was it? Strange was the best definition you could think of.

Pushing the thought to the back of your mind, you walked to the blue X marked next to a wooden table in the other side of the room.

“And action!” Kari said, bringing the set to life.

Erin and Wyatt started with the last part of their argument when Anthony appeared to start with Sam’s speech about knowing what Karli had been through. “Captain,” said the director. “your turn.”

As soon as the words left her mouth, Wyatt spat a tired comment and went to take the non existent shield in his back, unleashing hell… at least for the characters.

Their fight had just started when Sebastian approached them, prosthetic metal arm and all, to make his part helping Sam.

“Now!” Erin’s, well, Karli’s order worked as your clue to enter the scene, running straight to Sebastian to put him away from the others.

Unlike Erin, you were not wearing a mask. Your character was supposed to be hidden, ready and waiting for Karli’s instructions in case things went wrong.

Grey walls and blurry faces spun before your eyes as you whirled and jumped, pretending to punch and kick Sebastian.

The camera moved from Wyatt’s face to Erin who took off her mask and threw it to your direction, bringing the attention of the camera to you.

It went from your feet to your arms that grazed Sebastian's as if you two were in the middle of a dance. The lens, now focusing on Bucky’s arm.

Your hair, that had started tied up in a bun, was now loose thanks to the choreography and its intensity.

One of your boots touched Sebastian's ankle and he fell to his knee, you went back a few inches.

“Two more steps and your fist, Y/N.” Kari indicated. The colorful marks on the floor, agreeing with her.

You did as she said, moving your arm towards Sebastian’s face. He took your fisted hand in his, stood up and easily dragged you with him near to the closest wall. After all, he was too, playing a super soldier.

Your knuckles barely touched his chest and he staggered as if it actually had hurt him.

“Yes!” Hearing John saying that in the distance, you did your best to hide a smile. That part had been complicated while rehearsing but you just managed to make it look real.

With more straight that you anticipated, Sebastian's hand, the one with the fake metal arm, gripped your throat and walked you to the wall, slamming your back to it with a dry thud. A heavy and almost inaudible whimper fell from your lips, surprising both Sebastian and you, your eyes connecting instantly with his.

His palm was firm on you, the supposed-to-be vibranium glove slowly warming against your body heat and the end of the sleeve pressing against your pulse point.

Despite the barrier between his fingertips and your flesh, he could feel your rapid heartbeats and the way your breathing increased in speed by the second. His eyes, now following a drop of sweat that rolled down your cheek and fell from your jaw to the shirt you were wearing.

His fingers tightened their grip on you so mildly that the rest of the crew didn’t register it. For a split second you felt like your body was burning, as if he had poured gasoline on you and threw a match at your feet, waiting for you to turn to ashes.

“Now, straddle him.” That was the second time Kari’s voice brought you back to reality that day.

If you were not sure you’d be able to perform what was next before, you now knew you were about to screw it up.

The camera guy walked a few steps back to have a better view and when he stopped, you sweeped your arm under Sebastian’s to free yourself. He looked as deconcentrated as you were seconds prior.

He was quick to come to his senses and moved his leg to the front to help you climb his body like a koala. His right hand, hidden from the camera behind his torso, held your hip to keep you from falling.

Putting a leg on his shoulder, you pushed yourself up to bring your whole body to be on top of him, quite literally.

When you executed that part with John, there had been no problems; no complications while climbing him, no accidents while putting you down, no your inconvenient and unexpected arousal pooling between your legs almost touching his nose thanks to the closeness your current position had you in.

You tried to keep your intimate parts as far from his face as possible, with your ankles buried near his neck, the sides of your parted legs held by him and an annoying pang on your lower back caused by the, in your opinion, extremely necessary lean of your torso.

He walked a few steps away from the wall, trying to stop you from strangle him with your thighs.

One of your hands was on your knee steadying yourself, the other was taking a handful of his hair in a desperate attempt of your character to make him let go of your legs, and your hair kept covering your peripheral sight when you heard Sebastian inhale. A sharp and deep breath that ran down your spine. The moment he exhaled and looked up at you, your legs lost strength instantly.

“Shit” was all you said before you lost balance and felt your back hit the cold concrete, kicking the air out of you.

The entire set froze, people stopping whatever they were doing as soon as Kari screamed “Cut!” She and a few others approached you.

“Y/N, are you okay?” John asked as he leaned to help you get up. “What happened? You nailed that part this morning.”

Gazing at Sebastian, you saw him looking everywhere but in your direction.

“Well, it was just… not the same.”

“Timing is everything in these cases.”

You heard Sebastian telling Kari that he’d be right back, to which she said, “Alright, people, let’s take a break and then we’ll try it again!”

“I’ll go to fix my hair for take two.” You informed your friend and headed towards the dressing rooms, he went right behind you.

The walk was not long, and still, John found the time to scold you for not following his instructions in your last jump. Little did he know that was not the problem.

“Let’s just say that it is easier to do it with you.” You said, walking inside the room, leaving him laughing as you closed the door.

You were the only person there, the hair and makeup team nowhere to be seen. Sighing, you took off the hair tie and with a comb, started brushing your tangled locks.

Without warning, the door swung open revealing an exasperated and apparently angry Sebastian. With the look he was giving to you, he only needed the black mask to be the Winter Soldier.

“So, is that it?” he shortened the distance between you two with slow steps. “You prefer to work with Nania than with me? Is that why you were so uncomfortable while we were ‘fighting’?” his fingers making quotation marks.

With every step he took, you did the same, except backwards. When the back of your thighs hit the table in front of the mirrors, you moved to the side, approaching the door, ready to excuse yourself and run back to set.

You should have been faster, though.

Just as your fingers grazed the knob, his were already on you, holding you by the neck and slightly depriving you from your air supply. Only then you realized he was still wearing the metal arm.

“Is that why you'd rather it being him you're shooting that scene with?” his eyes were on fire, his beautiful features distorted by a grimace. “You like having his face between your legs?” Your breath hitched, this time for a reason beyond his fingers touching you. His words, having an effect they shouldn't have had in your body.

“Why do you care?” Your question, followed by his grip loosening a bit. “You didn’t have time to practice with me so he did it for you.”

His mouth molded into an incredulous smile and the laugh he let out had no humor on it.

“You really think that, don’t you?” With the back of his other hand, he caressed your cheek. The difference between his touches, making you tremble. “I kept delaying our practices because I knew that once you got your legs on my shoulders again, there'd be no going back.”

Your confused expression seemed to amuse him. He reduced the distance between your bodies to zero.

Bucky's suit was cold against the thin material of your shit, you felt his belt pressing in your stomach and something else right below making contact with your lower belly.

“And apparently, you felt the same way.” The hand that was tracing your jaw descended to your clavicle, passing by the space between your breasts and went down until reaching your cargo pants.

Your head was spinning, how did you get in that position? Why were you trapped against a wall again? But the most important question was, why were you enjoying it? “Sebastian--.”

“Shhhhh.” he shushed you. “Instead of saying whatever you were going to say, tell me,” his fingers found their way under your panties. “do all men that ever had you wrapped around them get you this wet?”

You snapped out of your trance. Bringing all your strength to your arms, you pushed him back successfully, no super soldier serum needed. “How dare you?”

“I dare.” The bluntness of his voice was shown when his fingers found your throat again and squeezed harder this time. “Don't act like you didn't like it when I did exactly this back there.” He repeated the action and your hands caught his wrist. A whimper, betraying your resistance. “Was it what made you all bothered that you couldn't handle me being so close to your sweet little cunt?” Cold air hit your legs. He somehow managed to unbutton your pants and drag them down until they were pooling around your boots. “Or was it the memory of John doing it what baffled you?”

You were out of words. Not only because his grip on you was still there, but also because you couldn't find a coherent answer to all of his questions. Not that it'd matter.

“I think I hit the nail on the head. ”His fingers moved your underwear to the side and parted your lips to start rubbing your clit in slow circles.

Your head turned to the right trying to suppress a moan, and you panicked. The door was still opened. Even when you two were covered behind it, someone could so easily enter and witness the show.

“Please.” You murmured.

“'Please', what?” You didn't know. You didn't know if you were asking him to stop his hand or to keep it moving.

Adrenaline ran through your veins, the idea of someone walking on you, moistening Sebastian’s hand more. His low chuckle hitting you in the face.

“Just… please.”

His fingers left your center and you almost yelled at him, the only things stopping you were the sight of him taking them in his mouth, groaning as he did so, and the force his other arm was still holding you with.

"You know?" His fingers slowly left your throat and traveled down your body until reaching your panties. "When I first saw you, I never thought you'd be so desperate to be filled up that you'd let the first guy that was nice to you have a taste." He yanked the piece of fabric down. “Let alone the one that bruised your beautiful skin and gets paid for it, too.”

The implications of his words should have made you kich him for real and leave him there to think about how he was going to apologize, but they didn’t. Instead, they planted you in that room like a tree, waiting for his next move.

You felt numb, your arms and legs tickling in anticipation as he fell to his knees.

“Who would have thought that you were such a whore?” He didn't even give you time to refute with his soft lips already pressing against your needy clit.

His hands opened your legs as far as possible and brought one of them to his shoulder, bending it and hitting the wall with your boot sole, surely leaving a dark stain.

At this point, you were probably delusional, too caught up in the pleasure that you could have sworn he was drawing the alphabet with his tongue.

A loud groan rumbled in the room the second his teeth lightly bit you. You covered your mouth with the back of your arm and prayed that there was no one outside to hear.

“Quiet, sweetheart.” His hot breathing hit your nub as he spoke, his lips grazing your sensitive flesh. “Don't want anyone knowing we're in the middle of a…” He left a soft kiss in your inner thigh. “conversation.”

“Ironic,” You almost whispered. “Considering how much I want you to shut up right now.”

The expression on his face had your hips involuntarily reaching for him.

“Your wish is my command.”

He resumed his assault with sloppy kisses and long stripes of his tongue from your center to your clit. The wet sound of his lips covered in your juices, obscene. The scratch of his beard having you seeing stars. The low cries leaving your mouth and the grip of your hand in his hair, motivating him to keep going.

Out of the sudden, his tongue entered you, making you jump and ripping a groan from your insides. You bit your lip to prevent it from happening again.

“Y/N, you there?” a fememine voice called for you.

Your shocked eyes found Sebastian’s, who, unbothered, continued with the task in hand, as if he didn’t understand the dangerous predicament you were in.

“Yes. Yes, I'm here.” You said, with the steadiest tone Sebastian's tongue allowed you to.

“Karli's looking for you. You better be ready in five.”

You could see her shadow peeking inside the room. She was four steps away from finding out. Three, the slight growth of it told you.

“Yeah, I'm--” Sebastian drawed away and you felt relief. But it didn’t last long. His finger quickly replaced his tongue and began moving in and out, hitting that spot everytime, making you gasp. Soon after, he added a second finger, making sure to be as silent as possible. “I'm coming.”

“Sweet!” the girl said. “Hurry up.”

You heard the door closing and internally thanked her for it as the sound of her footsteps faded.

“Shit.” You rested your head in the wall. “That was close.”

“Not the only thing that was close, though.” He observed, scissoring his fingers inside of you. The spontaneous action, surprising you.

With renewed speed, he moved his arm, circling his wrist and bringing his mouth to your clit once again. Your hips involuntarily jolted forward and his left hand went to rest in your stomach, pushing and stopping you from moving. He licked and slurped with such a ferocity that your release hit you with no warning. A silent scream reduced to a mewl ringing in your ears. Your body on flames again. It was as if he had activated the fire alarm but closed the windows to prevent the smoke from leaving the place.

For the first time that day, you didn’t question the fact that you were against a wall. Actually, you were happy it was there to hold you.

Sebastian stood up and with the back of his sleeve, cleaned the mess around his beard. You just pulled your clothes up.

“Oh, no, no, no. I’m not done with you yet.”

He towered in front of you, trapping your smaller body and hindering you from getting properly dressed again.

“B-but, I have to go back to the set and…”

“‘And’ nothing.” He reached for his belt, having it gone in a second and lowering his own pants along with his pair of boxers. “I told you there’ll be no going back.”

“No, I'm serious.” Your trembling hand set on his chest, trying to maintain some necessary distance. “I only have five minutes to get ready. Plus, I'm sure they're looking for you as well.”

“Five minutes?” he asked with a chuckle, ignoring the rest of your babbling. “I can make you cum again in three.”

“But--” His lips were on you before you processed it.

The kiss was sloppy, full of need and desire. The taste of yourself in his tongue, making you forget why you were so worried.

Not knowing what to do with your hands, you placed them in his shoulders, gripping the thick material of the suit. Meanwhile, he blindly got rid of your right boot, took your foot out of your pants and yanked your leg to rest it on his hip.

“God, I have wanted to do this for so long.” he said in between kisses.

You giggled, catching his attention. “We've only known each other for two months.”

“Feels like an eternity to me.” The sincerity of his words caught you off guard, you were not expecting him to say something like that, not while the tip of his length was already brushing your swollen lips.

“Then, what are you waiting for?”

Neither “longing,” “rusted,” “furnace,” nor the rest of Hydra's code to activate the Winter Soldier could have provoked the brutality with which he entered you as your words did.

His palm covered your mouth, making sure to muffle your otherwise loud scream.

The rhythm of his thrusts was fast, ruthless, desperate; eager to fulfill his promise, and do it in less than three minutes.

“C’mon!” He whisper-yelled, duplicating his efforts and hiding his face on the crook of your neck. When you clenched around him as his lips played with the soft spot of your neck, it was like a bulb lightened above his head.

He separated his face from your skin and, maintaining eye contact with you, the cold of his gloved fingers found your throat once more. The force applied, led you to your second orgasm like a tidal wave. Your teeth biting your lower lip and your eyes shut. Your body, floating in pleasure.

“Fuck.” His head fell back and his erratic movements weavered, your spamming walls bringing him closer and closer. All it took for him to finally release inside of you, was the tug of his hair that you used to connect your lips to his to silent your low cries.

Touching your forehead with his, he put an end to the kiss and drew out of you. Both, your juices and his seed going down your thighs.

You stood like that for a few seconds, trying to recover.

“Typically, you take the girl for dinner first.” You commented jokingly, in hopes to fill the silence before it became uncomfortable. He went to a drawer and handed you a towel for you to clean yourself.

“That’s the plan.” He smiled at your impressed look. “If you’re willing to let me have dessert after we leave the restaurant, of course.”

You rolled your eyes, but nodded your head nevertheless. “I like the idea.”

“Great! Uhm, I’ll go now. You better fix your hair fast.” He said as he fastened his belt. “Kari is looking for you.”

He grew closer to give you an unexpected fast peck and then walked to the door, opening it.

“Oh and, I think there's no excuse for you to stay away from me now, uh?” he winked at you and made his way back to the set.

“I guess not.” You murmured, knowing that he wouldn't listen.

Needless to say, the shot went perfect in take two.

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