#i restarted it not that long ago and was like. i feel so happy

[lavender--fairy]

Hello Fairy, it‘s so good to hear from you again! I can‘t explain how grateful I am to know about the law of assumption. You and many others have helped me understand it and I‘m so happy to be one of those who know that I AM is the truth and there is no other that has control over my world.

Which makes it a little overwhelming sometime… I know about everything (LOA-wise), but even when applying (Living in imagination, focusing on my state, identifying with my inner self etc..) I question if I‘m doing it right.

But I quickly realize that a person who has what he wants would NEVER question it like I do. He just knows because he‘s living as THAT version of himself that has everything. And then it goes on: I become aware that I‘m not in the state anymore and I get frustrated. Then I remember a very meaningful quote: ”be angry, sin not". And I‘m restarting all over again. I push myself gently in my desired state or I think I‘m doing it but deep down I still think about the fact, that 2 secons ago, I was not in my desired state.

I still think about the the past years of failure regarding LOA. And then I remember that I‘m not this body, this human. I AM. I shouldn‘t have to suffer. I shouldn‘t have to crave. I‘m telling myself that I‘m having it in my imagination, but right after that I‘m asking myself "well what the heck is even that? Where does is start, where does it end. If Imagination creates reality, why everytime I fulfill myself in imagination, I get sad emotions as if I‘m imagining another person living my dream life?"

I kid you not, I get jealous of my own inner self?? Is that even possible? 😭

I don‘t know if that could be the problem but for the past 5/6 years, I‘m maladaptive daydreaming. I used imagination to escape my 3d because I hated it and know I don‘t really know what 4d/3d actually is. I remeber angels post on twitter saying that she herself used to daydream excessively because that was her escaping from her reality which was preventing her from being in the state of the wish fulfilled (I‘m not sure If I remember it correctly she later deleted it I think)

I‘m so sorry if I confuse you with my rambling but you are so wise and successful I wan‘t to know how you manage to get what you want. You know I don‘t even want to get things in the 3d anymore, that‘s not my point, I just want to end the cycle of starting then failing then starting again just to fail again. I want to stop wanting it in the 3d because if I fulfill my desires in imagination, I wouldn‘t look for it in the 3d. But that‘s not the case with me. I fulfill, get excited and then look around. That‘s how I know I‘m not in the wish fulfilled, because I‘m looking for a response, I‘m looking for validation. I want to see my 4d as the end/validation.

I just want to make my imagination my safe place but what exactly is imagination? Is Imagination the creator or do I have to create in imagination? And why do I feel so shitty when I imagine?

Thank you so much for your time. Thank you for sharing your knowledge with us.

I truly wish you nothing but the BEST Fairy!

Heyy butterbean!

From what I can tell, you have enough knowledge about the law. You know what to do, you even seem to school yourself a bit here and there. You do remind me alot of myself.

Now, here's what we're going to do. And I say we because I am with you throughout it. Let's manifest a rose together. I want you to close your eyes and feel an imaginary rose in your imaginary hand and see it with your imaginary eyes. Touch and feel the softness of the petals with the pad of your thumb, bring it to your nose and take a nice long sniff, touch along the lengths of the stem. And there you go, that's it. Repeat it everyday whenever preferably before bed and tell me when you encounter it in real life. The rules are simple, we're not allowed to complicate it, make it fun, don't go actively looking for it, don't be anxious or stressed just relax. This is just like Neville’s ladder experiment, It helps build faith. Right now, you can chill and know that I am too imagining the rose with you each night, It's like a fun activity. And when you do manifest it, I'll walk you through manifesting the rest of your desires just like this one. I'll have my pinky linked into yours when I say this, it's not supposed to be hectic quiet the contrary, I promise we'll make this work effortlessly just like it's supposed to be.

[luludeluluramblings]

dream team back. we’re currently yapping central again (per usual)

both of us are straight up in a tim drake brainrot spiral too!!! he’s a delightful little weirdo. a strange little gentleman if you will.

tim is such a funny little guy!!! he also makes a solid yandere. you can’t outsmart him. you can’t escape someone who can find everything about you. On the upside, I feel like he’d be happy to spoil his darling. also he’d be like, really considerate in weird ways??? I mean like you don’t get privacy (or you get the illusion of it maybe but not actual privacy.)

like yeah you’re always being watched in some way, but the man has committed every single one of your favorites and least favorites to memories. He knows what clothing you like, what specific features you look for in everything, and if he doesn’t, by god, will he learn. He knows your favorite song, and he knows the nickname you went by in elementary school.

Do you think he pretends to be normal and basically sets things up to send reader to be like a little love story?? You meet by chance, and he fell first. He fell a LONG time ago, so now it’s his mission to make you fall too. And Tim Drake ALWAYS finishes a mission. (Even as a baby daddy candidate). He makes himself the best option, even if he’s not the father.

Yandere!TimDrake x PastFriend!Reader x Aiden Cobblepot

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: Sooooo, I'm finally and slowly going through my ask box and you two may have sparked an idea just for Tim. I might have to do a Part Two for this. (I'm falling into the WIP trap. Help!) But, I love the thought of the Bat Family have competition when it comes to their darling. Gives them a challenge. Plus, I really wanted to use Aiden Cobblepot for this. I've been wanting to sneak him into something.

A/N: We have neglected!Sib!Reader, but what about a Neglected!Friend!Reader? Fun idea. Tim already knowing everything about you only to find you’ve changed and wants to study you all over again. Only this time he’s keeping you! (I’m very fond of Tim. I think he’s difficult to write for me, but I enjoy the little stalker so much.)

Warnings: Yandere Themes, Romantic themes, Tim can be read as kinda platonic, GN!Reader

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

You and Tim were once good friends. Well, he was your best friend. To him you were just a good one. High school buddies that would hang out all the time. At school only. And sometimes the rare gala you saw him at. It was rare you ever actually went to The Manor. You never asked to go. But, you had hoped to be invite.

Just like you had hoped that he might reciprocate that pesky crush you had on him back then. You had felt like it was so painfully obvious. Though it wasn't as painful when you finally figured out he was Red Robin and you waited and waited for him to tell you his secret identity. And, then you would tell him you already figured it out and you would look so cool.

Only, he never did. You both grew distant. You had put so much carful effort into keeping that distance from growing. Inviting him to hang out more. Asking him out for casual coffee. He always said the same thing.

"Oh, damn. I could really go for that right now. But, I'm just sorta busy. Next time though. For sure."

Over and over. He sounded like a broken character. Repeating the same phrase. One that you would hang around after the game was over to reminisce about all the fun adventures you both once had. However this was life not a game. You couldn't just restart and rerun the same adventures.

It made you ache when you finally moved on. When you finally pulled away. Because, Tim didn't even notice you were gone. His life to change. He didn't have to restart anything. You had lost your best friend and he didn't even care. It stung. It stung more than you realizing he'd never reciprocate your feelings.

But, like all things, time moves on and so do you. Leaving the past behind and starting a new game. One that you start to flourish in. Making new friends. Meeting new people. Building closer bonds and more healthy friendships. It had been interesting to realize how dependent you had been on Tim once upon a time. And, embarrassing. You can't help looking back on it with a wince. You almost want to reach out and apologize. But, that would be weird and you both live completely separate lives now. You hardly ever see him at galas now. Mostly because you don't go anymore.

Things, do change. You never expected your new partner would draw Tim's attention back to you. And, in such a terrible way.

You had a rough idea of what you were getting into when Aiden Cobblepot had asked you out to dinner. You figured he was only interested in you for your money or your half-decent looks or your family name and position. You had heard all the rumors about him, but still you went. Mostly, because you knew how dangerous he and his family were. And, you were… presently surprised.

He was a bit of an entitled asshole. But, he wasn't scared of getting dirty. You watched him lead you through the puddles of rain water and Gotham grim in the posh restaurant. He held more concern for you're clothing getting dirty than his, which were more expensive than yours. He paid for the date without flinching at the price. Encouraged you to try his own food from his plate. Talked about fond memories of the things he and his sister got up to as children while asking you about your own childhood.

Admittedly, you were easily seduced because after that the two of you became an item. You didn't even realize how official you were until he introduced you to his sister, Addison, and she was actually nice to you. Extremely nice. She did, however, threaten to kill you if you betrayed Aiden in any way, which was honestly fair enough.

Aiden and you were a bit on the opposite side of things, taste wise and morally wise. But, you both made it work. He continued his life of crime, but made no mention of it around you to keep you legally clean. You shared most of your life with him, letting him have a slight glimmer into normalcy. He liked to take you on fancy dates and show you a good time. You were happy to pull him inside just to spend personal time with each other. Of course, you both made compromises. Aiden had a taste for luxury, and you didn't mind indulging in it. Especially after you beat his ass multiple times in Mario cart. It was only fair you let him take you to a gala some point.

Little did you know that that was how Tim would come clawing and digging his way back into your life.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

For Tim seeing you again was like finding an old precious treasure. His life had gotten so difficult and complicate lately that just a reminded of all those old times was nice.

However, seeing you on the arms of the Penguin's son was a brutal wake up call. What were you doing? Had you hit your head? Was he blackmailing you? Drugging you? Everyone in Gotham could recognize the name Cobblepot and how dangerous they are. And, he remembers how smart you were so you couldn't have willing chose to be there. It's not logical.

For your safety, he reintroduces himself to you. Long time, no see. We should hang out some time and catch up. Only he means it. He can't let this happen. He can't let you fall in with a man like that. You're his friend. He'll win you over for your own sake. Ruin Cobblepot while he's at it because how dare he use you.

Even if you changed. Even if you don't smell the same. If your hair is different. If you dress different. Even if your very laugh had changed pitch, he knows you. And, if anything, he can just re-learn you all over again. It won't take long. He's done it all before. This time he'll savor though. This time he won't let you go as he pulls you back in. You were a good friend, this time he'll make you more.

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

A/N: I’m starting to type up Part Three of Pregant!Reader, but I ended up coming up with another start to it with more drama that would be strictly for the BatBoys. The messed up drama in it sounds fun and challenging, but I won’t do it until I finish what I started with the blurbs I have planned included.

A/N: Smalltown!Meta!Reader Part Nine is going to take a while. I have big plans for it, but Pregnant!Reader is kinda outshining it.

A/N: I will post about the LoungeSinger!Reader and another idea I came up with that y’all might like that I’ll add to the concept list.

A/N: There’s a Tony Part Two coming, but it’s only halfway typed and still not that yandere-y. Need to fix that.

A/N: My asks box is full, so I’m gonna try to empty it, but I host Thanksgiving in my family and I’m also a Christmas nut, so I’m gonna be busy. (I have four Christmas trees in my house currently… But I’m not as bad as my in-laws! They had their trees up BEFORE Halloween.)

[b14augrana]

Open Arms

Two players, one last name. Only one of you is suffering from the legacy attached to it

Alexia Putellas x sister!reader

masterlist

Warnings: angst and/or hurt + bit of an inconclusive ending lol not happy or sad kinda just… 🫠

A/N: more alexia angst in the place of aapa pt. 4! heavily inspired by open arms by sza, and i highly recommend that you listen to it because this will make a whole lot more sense if you do + it’s amazing. this song is so dear to my heart and honestly one of my favourites ever, so i had to write something inspired by it because the meaning is so deep and interpretable in many ways. this is just one of them :)

You thought that playing for Barcelona was your lifelong dream.

It was a picturesque scene; two players sharing the same last name stepping onto the pitch in the same jersey. It had been your dream at one point, until you realised the influence of your sister was leading you to believe that.

This set something off in you, like it triggered a chain reaction of thoughts and epiphanies that led up to the inevitable.

It was so hard to shine as your own individual self, when all you were credited for was the name on your back and the uncanny resemblance you had to Alexia. You were good, you were so good, but nobody ever noticed. You knew it would stay like this forever if you didn’t do something for yourself.

You could remember your hometown of Mollet de Vallès to be a place that was rife with FC Barcelona pride; it would’ve been the ultimate betrayal to your neighbourhood if you hadn’t elected to play for the club. It would be the ultimate betrayal to leave them, as well.

You were born and raised in Barcelona. The culture, the people, the club, all of it was surely intertwined into your soul. That wouldn’t stop you from running away from every bit of it and breaking out of the manacles this city held you in.

If it wasn’t for your sister and the fact that all your years spent at the club was deeply rooted in the love you had for her, you would’ve been gone ages ago.

At first, you thought you were just having one of those days when nothing felt like it was going your way, but the feelings persisted and you became more acutely aware of the real problem — you were staying for Alexia, and her feelings were beginning to come above your career and self-esteem.

You could only spend so much time in the dark before you started craving the light. Living in her shadow was simply not good enough. You had spent enough of your life feeling hopeless.

Being on the same team as her meant that the closest you’d ever get to being called good is comparisons to your sister. Alexia was La Reina. Alexia was everything. You? Well… you were barely anything if not Alexia’s little sister, the other less impressive Putellas.

Talks with your agent made the decision you had to make crystal clear; you could continue to be downplayed as long as you stay at Barcelona, or you could leave the club and feel what it’s like to be appreciated for the skill you possess instead of your relations to Alexia.

The hardest part of this entire thing? Telling her.

You could pack your things and book your plane tickets, call your agent and tell him to start negotiating with clubs, let the board know that you’re leaving for good and never turning back, but breaking the news to Alexia was easier said than done.

When you were in her kitchen one night, bearing a burden on your shoulders, you hesitated to speak. The knowledge of your career at Barça coming to an end after one more match was severing your tongue, preventing you from speaking, and eventually you’d cave beneath it and keep it all to yourself until Alexia found out in the worst way possible. The deal was done, you put pen to paper, and you were set to join Bayern Munich. All that was left to do was tell Alexia.

Bayern Munich, so far away from Barcelona, it was perfect. You could restart and build a name for yourself, completely separated from your family name. Even if Alexia did get angry, you would be in Germany within the next month (give or take a week), so what did it matter?

Part of you had faith that she’d understand, recognise your intentions and not take it to heart. The entirety of you hoped and prayed for that.

“Alexia,” you started, turning around in your seat at the dining table to look at her while she poured herself a glass of water. She hummed in response to you, as to indicate that she was listening.

“I’m leaving the club. I’ve signed it — the contract — and it’s done. I’m going to Bayern.”

She turned off the faucet suddenly, standing at the sink with her back to you. Her grip on the glass tightened ever so slightly, and you could hear the deep breath she took.

“What?” she mumbled, turning around to look at you with eyes narrowed in disbelief. You glared at the table, nodding your head slightly.

“I’m going to Bayern,” you repeated, looking up to meet her now widened eyes as she placed her glass down. “I’m leaving Barça.”

She glanced at you, her eyes softening for a moment, and you could tell that she was barely registering the news.

“You can’t,” she responded, “Barça is your home, we belong here, both of us–”

There went any chances of her understanding you. That other part of you that knew she wouldn’t be rational about this, had been proven right. “You belong here, Alexia. I don’t,” you shot back, pointing at her with an almost accusing finger.

“What’s wrong with the club?” Alexia snapped. You glared at her, your angered façade crumbling away to reveal the true sadness that remained behind it.

“This club is your dream, (Y/N). I mean, I don’t get it,” she laughed, her expression seeping with disbelief, “You love it here, I love you here– don’t you remember? We used to talk about retiring here together, assisting each other and scoring from each other’s passes. Remember how you’ve always wanted to score a bicycle kick off one of my corners? Why do you want to leave, when we haven’t done all this, when there’s still so much for us to achieve?”

It wasn’t her fault that everyone kept you in the dark. Alexia would never want you at Barça if she knew this was going to happen. Still, you couldn’t cave now. There was no use in regretting anything, because it was done. Maybe if you had told her about your plans to leave, you would’ve felt this regret earlier, and things would’ve been different. Empty ‘what-ifs’ only reminded you that it was too late.

But still, her plea to make you stay was solely built on whatever regarded her. Not a single thing about what you wanted to do was taken into consideration.

“Tell me what made you want to leave, and I’ll make them change it. Just don’t ruin your career by leaving,” she continued.

“You know what?” you started, standing up so you were eye-to-eye with your sister, “I thought you out of all people would understand, but no. You’re selfish, Alexia. This is what’s best for me, I can’t stay here if I want to be any good!”

You were yelling, and you never liked to yell, but it felt like the only way to properly convey your feelings to the woman.

“I’m not even second best to you. Sometimes I feel like I’m only kept at this club to make you look good, and I am so, so sick of it. For years I’ve– I have no confidence left, no sense of pride in myself, I barely ever feel happy wearing this jersey because it’s always been your dream, not mine! I’m not the Putellas that belongs here, everyone knows that, so don’t try to make me stay because this is my only chance to be great. I want to be great, Alexia, and you should know better than anyone what it’s like to want that.”

It was only normal that you began to tear up amidst your words, and they trembled on your waterline as you spoke.

Alexia looked defeated.

More than anything, she felt unbridled amounts of guilt running rife through her. She wanted to reach out to you, hug you, tell you that everything would be alright and she never looked at you as a dim light that made hers look brighter, but she was glued to the spot, her muscles twitching and urging her to step forward with no avail.

“I love you, and I’ve stayed all this time for you. Honestly, I never even wanted to stay. You’re the only one that’s holding me down.” It was like a huge weight had been lifted off your shoulders, and in its place sat a mix of relief and guilt.

Alexia stayed silent, only a singular tear slipping down her cheek, the start of many that she would shed behind closed doors that night. It was more than just losing a teammate to her, and she wasn’t so emotional because her sister was leaving; it was the realisation that she didn’t know you very well in the first place, and the culpability of realising that she really had been holding you down.

That conversation was one of the last you had with Alexia in person. You played one last match for the Blaugrana, and then you left for Germany the following week.

Even weeks of knowing prior to your final match couldn’t soften the blow as Alexia stood on the pitch, clapping for you as you waved goodbye to the fans and teammates alike, tears brimming in your eyes that were akin to the ones rolling down her cheeks.

She walked up to you, and she embraced you like she never has before, like you were disappearing into nothingness instead of another country. You gripped her tightly, savouring the hug and trying to memorise the feeling, and when she pulled away, she had a pensive smile on her face.

“If you ever want to come back to me, I’ll always be right here with open arms. Cuídate, hermana.”

[lightweaver-chosen-if]

DEMO | FORUM | MAIN POST

New update is live!

New 27k words of content, bringing the game to 77k Each playthrough is around 32k~

IMPORTANT! Please use a new save. A lot has changed since the last update so it's likely broken. The game passed both the quick and random test, so if you encounter any errors please make sure you didn't use an old save before reporting game breaking bugs.

TO AVOID THE ACHIEVEMENT BUG This is something that happens on the CoGDemos specifically. If you've visited the site before, you may have to clear your cache to avoid this bug. Sometimes just restarting the game or playing it from a private tab also works.

This is it you guys! Omg. I'm just so happy to be able to update the game after so long.

It didn't end on the part where I wanted it to since I couldn't finish the rest of the character paths in time, so if you notice in this update, L’s paths are a bit longer.

And in case you're wondering why L appears sm, J and A is more aloof compared to L, who actively tries to befriend MC, so their interactions naturally feel more frequent right now.

But don’t worry—everything will balance out eventually!

If you want to see most of the new content, I suggest going to dinner with L & A and then decline their invite to train with them.

The unfinished paths will be included in the next update—likely next week.

This update hasn’t been extensively tested, since I really wanted to get it out there. If you spot any jank, garbage text (the drafts you shouldn't be able to see), or continuity errors, please let me know—I’d greatly appreciate your feedback!

The stats are also still under construction. If you notice it's not progressing at a certain point, that's normal. I still haven't set them yet :p

Thank you for your patience and support! I hope you enjoy this update.

Side Note: I actually dropped the update hours ago and desperately needed a nap right after. Some who frequently visit dashingdon or cogdemos might've seen this already :D

What's New:

Wardens

Some more MC lore during solo scenes

Establish your texting style!

Visit the library (and bump into A)

Practice weaving for the first time (and bump into L)

What's Edited:

Prologue

World lore

[bbydoll18xx]

An Inch Away From More Than Just Friends

Paige Bueckers x reader

Your ex-boyfriend is quite literally the smallest man who ever lived, and Paige is there to pick up the pieces

Themes: Heavy smut, angst, happy ending <3, friends to lovers

Word count: 3k

-------------------------------------------------------------------

“And you deserve prison, BUT. YOU. WON’T. GET. TIME!” you scream-sing, each word punctuated with a hand slapping the table loudly. Tears fall down your face and you let out a ragged breath, attempting to quell your rage and anguish.

Your stupid ass, idiot of a boyfriend, Connor, had cheated on you with some tramp from Florida, of all places. And he had subsequently dumped you over text, attaching a picture of the girl sucking his cock.

You wanted to murder him. Slowly. With a knife. 

Here you sat, though, after the shock of that text message wore off, sobbing at your kitchen table to Taylor Swift. Your life felt like a terrible sitcom. 

He was your first boyfriend. You didn't really date much in high school. The boys were immature and gross, and the girls were too intimidating to approach in a flirty way. You just wanted to feel wanted, sick of constantly being the third wheel with your friends.

Despite getting broken up with out of the blue, you knew why Connor had done it. It was the reason for your countless arguments you had suffered through the last year.

Paige Bueckers.

Paige was your best friend, and Connor had absolutely loathed her from the moment you had introduced the two blondes. 

Your boyfriend had always been slightly possessive; it was one of the things that had initially attracted you to him. You had always craved an intense and all consuming love, and at first, you had thought you'd gotten that. But fate was tempted as you and Paige grew closer.

As the song you’ve had on repeat restarts for the hundredth time, you recall your last argument. It wasn’t difficult considering it happened just a few days ago. 

You and Paige were hanging out in your apartment like you did frequently. Laying side by side on your bed, a movie played on the TV, sending flickering lights through the dark room. You were both exhausted from the week, but each other’s presence produced a calm energy that washed over all of the stress you had been feeling.

Your legs are tangled up with Paige’s, and your head is nestled in the crook of her neck. The movie is long forgotten, as you relish in the presence of your best friend. She hums in content at your closeness, enjoying your company just as much as you.

You can actually feel your heart cry, realizing that you couldn’t get any closer to the blonde girl. 

You had been having several realizations the last few months: Your fondness for UConn’s favorite star was more than just friendly. Unfortunately, you were pretty sure that Connor had also picked up on this. And if this helpless little crush of yours continued, you’d be in deep shit. 

Contemplating your situation, Paige nudges into you, catching your attention. 

“I can literally hear the wheels in your head turning. Whatcha thinkin’ about, baby?” Paige teases softly.

Baby. 

Your heart flutters, as it always did when she called you little pet names.

You shrug, the movement slightly jostling Paige.

“Just dealing with some stuff,” you mumble, a feeble attempt to minimize what you were feeling. It's not like you could tell her anyway.

Before Paige can goad you into revealing more, the door to your bedroom is ripped open, hitting the wall with a slam and reverberating through the apartment. 

“I fucking knew it!” Connor shouted, pointing at you and Paige. His face was screwed up into an ugly expression of contempt.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Paige yells back, as you simultaneously shout, “Connor you can't just barge in here. That’s so fucking rude.”

“Stay away from my girlfriend, you nasty, little bitch,” Connor sneers meanly. Paige’s eyebrows furrow at this, standing in front of him to look him in the eye.

You try to stifle a laugh as Paige gets in your boyfriend’s face; she was two inches taller than him, and she never let him forget it. 

“I don’t know about ‘little,’” she retorts with a smug expression on her face.

Enraged, Connor spins around, stomping out of the room, kicking your couch on his childish rampage out.

Your breathing is irregular as you try to slow your heart rate. Sobs are already bubbling up inside your chest, threatening to seep through the cracks that Connor had left once more. 

Paige pulls you into her lap, cradling you against her chest in a desperate attempt to comfort you. Little did she know, her touch was all you really needed. 

You are pulled back into the present, feeling empty without Paige. Tears roll down your cheeks and your bottom lip wobbles. You felt like you were never really present anymore; walking through life in a daydream. Pictures of Paige constantly filled your brain, and you knew the unrequited feelings would be much more painful than the harsh termination of your and Connor’s relationship. 

Fuck. You were down bad. 

You take to your couch with a pint of Ben and Jerry’s ice cream. Those were two guys you knew would never fail you. You allow yourself to rot the day away. Episode after episode plays, but you are barely paying attention. You feel like screaming, the feeling of desperation wrestling with your typical sense of composure. 

Your vision slides over to the top of your fridge, where an impressive amount of alcohol sits.

‘Perfect. I can't pine when I’m black out drunk,’ you think miserably. 

You were so, so wrong. 

An hour later you were dancing around in nothing but one of Paige’s shirts and your underwear, using a large bottle of tequila as a microphone. You were usually a quiet roommate, but the empty apartment was the perfect excuse to let out all the emotions you had been holding in for months. 

You were so engrossed in your performance, you miss Paige walking in. When you finally turn to face her in a dramatic spin, hair flying everywhere, you gasp in shock. 

Paige is grinning. “Havin’ fun, babe?” she questions, clearly amused by your drunken antics.

You were too inebriated to feel embarrassed, and you nod with a bright smile. You thrust the bottle towards the blonde, encouraging her to join in your fun. 

“Oh, what the hell,” Paige concedes, taking the bottle and lifting it up to her mouth in a way that had you suddenly feeling sticky. 

She was sinful when she was drunk. It was not your fault that you wanted the clingy Paige that accompanied large amounts of alcohol. 

You spend the next hour taking turns sipping from the bottle, enjoying the feverish burning in your belly that follows each swallow. It doesn’t take much time for Paige to catch up to you, and you know she’s tipsy once she pulls you into her lap and starts drawing shapes onto your thighs. A quiet moan escapes from your lips at her touch; her fingers were fucking magic. 

You turn to face Paige, straddling her on your couch. The tequila in your system was making you bolder than the blonde was accustomed to you being, but she welcomed it. Now face to face, with nothing but your flimsy panties in between Paige’s muscular leg and your slick center, you gaze at her with heavy lidded eyes.

She was so pretty, and her eye contact made you bashful. Breaking away from the heat of those blue eyes, you wrap your arms around her neck in a huge hug, causing Paige to let out a small chuckle at your affection.

You were nothing if not candor whilst drunk, so Paige is hardly surprised when you slur, “Connor hated how I look at you. That’s why he broke up with me.”

Taking a moment to gather her thoughts, Paige murmurs, “How do you look at me?”

“Like you hung the fuckin’ moon,” you sigh dreamily, the tequila making you feel warm and fuzzy.

“Oh, really, baby?” Paige questions, her voice growing deeper as you tilt your hips against her thigh once more in an attempt to feel some relief. Her presence was overwhelming your senses, and there was fire deep in your abdomen that was raging.

 You forget to respond to her, too distracted from the way her leg felt so damn good against your clothed pussy. Attempting to lessen some of the desire building up inside you, you experimentally roll your hips, letting out a lustful whine as you realize how good it feels. 

Paige is momentarily stunned at your boldness before she grabs your chin, tilting it up to meet her eyes that were full of want. Your pupils are blown, the irises just a small ring at this point, and she questions if you really want to do this. 

Well obviously.

You nod your head, unsure if you had any words in you to describe just how badly you wanted Paige to fuck you.

“Baby, use your words,” Paige drawls. The huskiness of the term of endearment has you panting, and you struggle to moan out a “Yes, please just fuck me, P.”

That was all Paige needed. She places her hands underneath your ass, and lifts you up, carrying you towards your bedroom. You wrap your legs around her toned figure and meet her lips in a searing kiss. 

In a second, it feels like all the shittiness has evaporated away, leaving you feeling reborn and renewed. Paige was a fucking drug to you, and you needed another hit. 

Setting you down on your bed, Paige wastes no time stripping you of your oversized t-shirt, leaving you in your cotton panties that were now completely soaked. She swirls two fingers across the drenched fabric, smirking to herself that she was able to have such an effect on you. You whine at her deliberate actions and pout like a child who wasn’t getting their way. Paige laughs at your desperation and kisses the pout right off of your lips, licking into your mouth with fervor. 

You tug at her shirt, wanting her to be as bare as you were, and she quickly slips it over her head, throwing it onto the floor. There was still an imbalance of clothing between the two of you, and you finger the waistband of Paige’s sweatpants, wanting to see every bit of her. 

Shaking her head fondly at your blatant lack of shame, she gets off of the bed and shimmies out of her pants, leaving her in just a sports bra and those boxers you loved a little too much. From where you were still sitting on the bed, you shamelessly let your eyes rake over her toned figure. She was stunning, and you felt pride well up inside you, knowing you were finally going to have sex with the tall blonde.

It almost made the years of pining worth it. 

“This better?” Paige asks, gesturing towards her body, and you giggle in response. 

She climbs back onto the bed, a knee placed between your parted thighs and presses it against your soaked heat. You let out another loud moan at the contact, and your back arches off the bed from the pleasure. 

There are no thoughts in your tipsy, drunk-in-love brain, and it shows. You’re mumbling in tangents, now, pleading with Paige to do more. 

She finally concedes and goes to take off your panties. She’s being a little tease, slowly dragging them down your legs, while keeping intense eye contact with you. You are pretty sure the act makes your pussy drip even more. 

Placing a leg over her shoulder, Paige opens you up and takes a second to admire the gleaming wet folds that were hers and only hers. You tremble under her stare, feeling deliciously vulnerable in a way that makes you want to submit to her every whim. 

She inches closer to your pussy, pressing hot kisses all along your inner thighs. You revel in the buildup of it, trying to avoid being pushy. To no avail, your hips jut forward, slightly humping the air in an attempt to get some release. 

Coming back up to nip your earlobe playfully, Paige whispers sensually, “Gotta be a good girl for me.” 

You try to respond, but her use of the phrase ‘good girl’ makes the words catch in your throat. She resumes her kisses, trailing them down your throat to your chest, where she takes a detour in favor of showing your pretty, peaked nipples some attention. 

Another whine leaves your lips like a prayer, as Paige leaves love bites over your tits. That would look like a damn masterpiece in the morning, and you’re already planning to take a Polaroid picture of you topless, covered in Paige’s hickeys. 

Finally, she trails back down your stomach, fingers ghosting over your skin and leaving behind thousands of goosebumps in their wake. Your skin felt like it was on fire. 

“Please, Paigey. Need you, baby,” you whimper brokenly, begging for some respite from the torturous teasing. 

Paige gives in, dying to taste to you, and she licks a fat stripe on your pussy, starting at your dripping hole and ending in a tantalizing circle at your clit. Your hands fly to her head, trying not to pull at her hair too much. 

She inserts her middle finger into you, drawing another slutty moan from your lips as she pumps into you vigorously. 

There really is no way to describe just how good she is making you feel. The past six months of sex with Connor had been passionless and repetitive. You didn’t think you’d ever be able to go without this again. 

Paige inserts another finger in your pussy with a smirk and continues to pummel them against your g-spot. The pressure in the pit of your belly was already building, and you knew it wouldn’t be long until you exploded. Paige had taken a break from eating you out to kiss you once more, wanting you to taste your sweet wetness on her lips. It was possibly the hottest thing you had ever done, and the act pushes you closer to the finish line. 

“Gonna cum, Paigey,” you moan wantonly, your thighs twitching and your back arching once more. The tequila in your system causing you to act especially debauched. 

Paige loves it. 

“C’mon, baby. Be a good girl and cum for me,” she moans in response against your soaked pussy, and you fall apart instantaneously. 

High pitched whines and moans fill your bedroom as Paige continues thrusting her fingers in and out of you, slowing down as you ride out your high. If it wasn’t for the alcohol, you would be embarrassed with yourself, but there was no thought of that. 

You needed to taste Paige. 

Once Paige pulls out of you, licking her fingers off as if she was starved, you reattach your lips feverishly. You taste so good, but you are dying to know what she tastes like, and without warning, you strip the rest of her clothes off. 

She lays her head on your mountain of pillows, blonde hair fanning in all directions. You can see the heaving of her chest, already anticipating your touch. Her lips are swollen in a way that’s positively sinful, and you think you’ve never seen anyone look as beautiful as Paige does right now. 

Straddling her, you lean in to suck at the soft skin underneath her left ear, pulling out moan after moan that went right to your still-buzzing pussy. 

Trailing down to her tits, you knead one before attaching your hot mouth to the other, swirling your tongue around it and then nipping it experimentally. 

“Fuck, babe. Please. Can’t do more teasing,” Paige grits out, trying to maintain some semblance of control. 

Just as yours had, Paige’s hips squirm, and you grin up at her. You press kisses across her toned abdomen, mentally noting that her abs would be nice to ride another time, and finally settle at the opening of her legs. 

Spreading her open, you gaze upon her glistening wetness momentarily before diving in. You could not possibly wait another second to taste her. 

You two both moan at the contact, sending muffled vibrations against Paige’s pussy that brings forth a second, louder groan of pleasure. 

Wanting to make her feel so, so good, you plunge two fingers into her sopping wetness, while flicking the tip of your tongue across her clit repeatedly without ceasing. 

It had been awhile since you had eaten another girl out, but it came back to you immediately; it was like riding a bike. 

Paige’s moans fill the room, and you think you could die there happily. You’re unrelenting. The combination of three of your fingers and that lavicious tongue of yours soon has Paige panting out, “fuck, baby. I’m gonna cum.” 

She rides out her orgasm, switching between moaning your name and naughty words that have you immediately wanting to do a second round. 

You pull your fingers out of her wetness, making a show of licking them off in front of her before meeting her in an erotic kiss.

You lay back on your pillows, stifling your sighs and calming the beat of your heart from what you had just done with your best friend. You look over at her, hoping and praying that the sex you just had wouldn’t ruin your friendship. 

Paige bites her lip, in a not so great attempt at hiding a smile, and pecks you on the lips. “That was way better than that fuckhead, Connor, right?” She was smug as hell. But she was not wrong.

“Considering his dick was three inches, uh yeah,” you laugh. “But joking aside, you were amazing.”

“Just glad I could make my girl feel better,” she replies.

“I’m your girl?” you ask, cheeks ablaze in a fiery heat of desire.

“You are now,” Paige chuckles, interlocking your pinkies together in an earnest proclamation of affection. 

You were hers, and she was yours. 

[pe4cht3a]

happy new years!! could we have a one shot about Killua who emotionally hurts the reader because he doesn't pay much attention to the reader anymore (because for example he is too busy with his job as a Hunter) and who comforts him after realizing it :D (i really like your works💕)

ᯓ Come back to me ⋆˙

── .✦ a/n: i miss killua SMM pls lets revive the killua tags on tumblr 😋 and tysm ^^

you bit your lip anxiously as you were going back and forth. deleting and re-typing messages, fingers hovering above your mobile phones keyboard as your mind ran wild with every possibility you could possibly imagine.

eventually, you settled on just taking a phone call instead of messaging. to be fair, calling definitely took way more courage, so your heartbeat was speeding up like crazy.

you shoved your phone up against your ear, as you placed your other hand on your hips. the rhythm of the ringing tone of your phone kept pacing on, as the person on the other line continuously had not picked up.

“yo, this is kil. sorry i can’t take a call, say what you want into my voicemail though.”

ah, how nice. the familiar recorded audio of killua’s voicemail had spoken for him, once again. you held your phone against your ear for a good minute, even once the voicemail audio had finished playing.

returning your phone back into your pocket, you stared up at the clear sky, longing for any sort of response. other than hopeful wishing, you only had one thought on your mind.

where even is he?

4 years had gone by in a flash, since you three had chosen separate paths.

gon had returned back home to whale island and aunt mito, you decided to go to yorknew city to have a fresh start, and killua chose to travel the world as a hunter, as well as scouting for a hiding place for his sister.

the three of you were once 14 year olds who needed to restart all over. except, something didn’t restart, and that was you and killua’s relationship.

every single time, when the messages sent to killua were consistently left on delivered, or when you’d hear his voicemail audio again, you would always recall one memory.

“so.. you’re gonna go travel with alluka?” you questioned as you turned around to face the young albino. you fidgeted with your hands in a fit of anxiousness, as you looked up at him.

“yeah. to be exact, i'm heading out to go find a safe spot for alluka. illumi and the others wanna get their hands on her.” hands shoved in his pockets as usual, he returned back a some what.. sad look? was it because of regret and his feeling of knowingly being unable to continue a consistent relationship with you?

“ah… i see. thats.. where are you going after?” you held a glimpse of hope in your heart. praying killua will tell you that he’ll turn around and reunite with you, once he’s settled alluka down.

“i’m gonna go travel around the world.” the silverette smiled gently, although the smile was tainted with slight uneasiness. “you’re gonna go.. travelling?” your eyes shot wide. shocked that your fantasy was being dragged to ruins, right in front of you.

“i.. i know, you want me to come back to you. don’t you?” he said as he stepped closer to you. “mhm.” you were forcing yourself to sound undisturbed so hard, plastering on a fake smile. “i’m sorry, y/n. theres just so much for me to experience out there.” he took one more close step towards you as he placed his hand onto the top of your head, planting a soft kiss onto your forehead.

“lets not keep alluka and gon waiting back there.” you walked off away from his embrace, feeling unsatisfied and bitter. leaving killua’s arm hanging in the air and heart hurting.

that was all too long ago. yet, you remember everything as clear as day.

what even were you guys? were you guys dating? it surely was something, or else he wouldn’t have given you that kiss on your forehead, 4 years ago.

“never mind, fuck this.” you sighed under your breath. finally, deciding to snap out of your daily over thinking. you went on with your way, as you continued walking through the busy sidewalks of yorknew.

it was a comforting sunny morning. sure.. your relationship with killua was pretty cold but at least the weather was giving you warmth.

it was meant to be a usual, regular and totally not out of the ordinary morning. so why the fuck is killua suddenly standing in the distance, across the ocean of people.

you had to do a double take, as well as a couple of blinks to knock some sense into yourself. you could feel your heart practically sink into your stomach, as your mouth was hanging agape.

you were about to do a 180 degrees and run off, but just when you were about to turn away, killua’s head turned at your direction.

you were frozen in place, you could have ran but you felt as if some unknown force held you down in place.

“shit” you repeatedly muttered under your breath agitatedly. killua’s eyes soon fell onto you. sapphire eyes had matured, looking even more and more like his father’s.. except when his gaze laid upon you, those blue eyes looked just like how they were when he was 14 and infatuated with you.

killua began pushing himself against the big crowd, aiming to get closer towards where you were standing. unfortunately, he did end up reaching you.

“hey.”

“uh— killua… hi.”

you stared at the busy street in front of you, desperately not wanting to look at killua, who was now sitting beside you.

you two had decided on settling down at a bench on the sidewalk, in the middle of the lively city. though, you certainly did not wanna be alive right now.

“you can’t ignore me forever, y/n.” the albino turned to you, desperately trying to get any sort of acknowledgment out of you.

the only acknowledgment you gave back was you folding your arms in response to his desperation.

“you know what, killua? im leaving.” you stood up frustratingly, not looking at killua even once. you held onto your shoulder bag angrily, as you began heading off.

“you’re not leaving until you tell me whats wrong with us!” killua grabs onto your hand and interrupts your departure.

you take a harsh turn, and glare at killua fiercely. “fine, you wanna know whats wrong?” you question with a tone of bitterness. you were about to let out everything you had ever held in.

“i don’t know how you can’t tell whats wrong with us! we go our separate ways and you barely contact me even though we aren’t technically single! you knew how bad i wanted you to come see me once you dropped alluka off somewhere good.. so why did you barely call or return my messages? fuck, you never even tried to come find me! its like as if i was never anything to you! do you not remember how much we meant to each other when we were always going on adventures with gon? and yet you have the nerve to ask me whats wrong with us.”

everything felt slower and quite, despite all the noise from the city and cars. you didn’t dare to look at him, you just ran away.

away from everything. away from killua, and all the nonsense. you just had go go back home and calm down.

once you returned back to your apartment, you slammed your bedroom door and collapsed into bed. you basically passed out into sleep, immediately.

the next morning arrived way too soon.

your hair was messed up, lip gloss smudged off onto your bedsheets and mascara stained on the bottom of your eyes. you felt so dusty and heart heavy.

you got up and pulled out your phone from your bag. you had around 20 missed calls and 50 messages from killua, that awoke something inside of you again.

a fit of anger and even resent washed over you. you held your phone up against your ear, as you returned a call back to the albino you were about to scream at. although, you were too tired to actually scream.

“hello? OH SHIT— Y/N ARE YOU OKAY? WHERE DID YOU GO? WHERE ARE YOU?”

“shut the fuck up kil.”

“at least you still call me that.”

“leave me alone, don’t come looking for me.”

“i don’t care, y/n. after you ran off, i realised how terrible i’d been for so many years towards you. i took time to think to myself about everything… everything about us.”

“wow. so suddenly you wanna be my boyfriend after four years.”

“y/n—

you hung up on killua before he could even continue speaking. you threw your phone onto your bed as you decided to head out for breakfast. leaving your phone behind, so you could escape killua probably spamming you again.

as the cafe door opened, the bell above the door rang happily. you stepped into the cafe you usually visited for breakfast, trying to hopefully calm yourself down with a nice peaceful breakfast. no way would killua ever find you here. that bastard barely tried to contact you, so how would he even know this is where you regularly visited?

as you stepped into the cafe doorway, you opened your eyes with a newfound sense of peace… only to have it be immediately thrown out the window.

you opened your eyes to see killua leaning against the cafe barista counter.

you felt like running away all over again.

“y/n, can you please at least listen to me?”

“how the fuck do you know i come here?”

“i know its been a few years but, no way are you that stupid to forget that my brother is milluki zoldyck.”

“why am i even surprised at this point?”

the awkwardness and unease in the air between you two was definitely apparent. the whole cafe could practically feel it, even the barista’s were moving slower than usual just to be quiet, scared that if they made any sudden sounds would cause you or killua to kill them.

your usual breakfast order of earl grey tea and blueberry muffin sat in front of you on the wooden table. across that, was an opposing chocolate muffin and a tall glass of freshly squeezed orange juice.

unfortunately, this brought back some nostalgic memories for you. killua still had his insane sweet-tooth, some things never change..

“i thought about what you said yesterday, y/n.” the silverette muttered as he munched on his chocolate muffin. “good.” you sharply shot back, legs and arms crossed firmly.

“y/n, i know i’ve hurt you. i shouldn’t have put all my focus onto being a hunter and travelling.” killua placed his unfinished muffin onto the table as he gazed up at you.

you were still just as beautiful as you had been as when you three separated, years ago. killua still fondly remembers how your skin looked as it was kissed by moonlight, during the times when you, him and gon would be hiding in the lush forests while planning to take down the chimera ants.

“yeah right.” you still looked off to the side as you sunk into your seat. voice filled with a long aged resentment and hostility.

“you do realise you also hurt me, right? so calm the fuck down.” killua hissed back, patience coming to a breaking point. his sapphire eyes grew narrow and sharp.

“and how the hell did i do that?” you angrily snapped as you finally looked at him directly.

“maybe because you left me hanging there after we finally confessed to each other? being a hunter is important to me, but so were you. you were the only one there for me when gon was caught up with kite’s death…” killua’s voice trailed off as he remembered all the simpler times between you and him and when you were the only pillar of support he had during the mission against the chimera ants.

“please, y/n. let me make it up to you.”

“fine.”

you and killua… at last, decided to try to smooth over the bumps in your relationship.

you stood at the central park of yorknew city, in the middle of mass amounts of greenery and the moist air. you stared off into the distance, as killua had gone off to go get something, apparently.

“hey.” killua abruptly said from behind. you jumped around in a fit of surprise, “WOAH! damn kil, i forgot you walked completely silent.” you sighed in relief as you fixed your hair in a fit of embarrassment.

you were now face to face with the handsome silverette.

“oh?” you let out curiously as you spotted two things in killua’s hands. in killua’s pale hands, were two ice cream cones. one was chocolate, the other held lemon.

“ah… i see. you still remember that lemon is my favourite?” you mutter softly, pleasantly surprised by killua’s kind gesture. “of course i do, idiot.” the albino offered the ice cream cone towards you, as he felt his face burning up nervously.

you two decided to sit down on the grass against a tall willow tree, that overlooked a small pond in the park.

as you two were sat beside each other, the willow tree provided great shade from the sun. as you ate away at your lemon flavoured ice cream, your heart felt odd.

you had felt annoyed at killua for so long, but suddenly when he’s finally beside you. you felt in love once more and like a young teenager all over again.

“i’ve uh.. missed you kil.” you couldn’t believe you finally had a chance to utter those words out to him.

“i can tell.” killua sneakily smirked as he continued munching on his chocolate ice cream. the albino continued focusing on his ice cream, but he could see you glaring at him jaw dropped, from his peripheral vision.

once you two had finished the icy delights, you both looked off into the distance of the pond, in silence. except, this time was a comfortable silence.

“i’m really sorry, y/n. i turned to being a hunter, i didn’t know how to face you. i didn’t want to face the possibility of you rejecting me.” killua gently whispered as he started playing with locks of your hair.

you were now leaning onto him with your head on killua’s shoulders, up against the bark of the willow tree.

“you’re so stupid sometimes… kil. i wouldn't have ever rejected you.” you smiled sweetly as you nestled your head into the crook of killua’s neck.

“i suppose what happened to gon overwhelmed me too much.” killua sighed unhappily. “hmm.. yeah i know.” you gently muttered back.

killua soon wrapped his arms around you as he placed his head onto yours. “i just wish i talked to you sooner…” the albino now sounded sleepy.

“mhm.. me too.” you responded with a tone of sadness, but also hope for a better future for the two of you.

“this time, i’ll stay with you y/n.”

“promise me that you’ll bring me with you, if you ever go back to being a hunter.”

“i promise. i’ll always come back to you no matter what.”

“im glad you did this time.”

[charminglyantiquated]

What happened with Granted? It was my favorite comic to read but it suddenly stopped. Why??

Hey, it means a lot to me that it was your favorite, and I'm sorry it stopped updating so abruptly. Short answer is that I just became too busy. It took me an enormous amount of time to make. I could keep up with it while I was in school, but once I graduated I had to focus on paying jobs. Finding my career in sailing, which has virtually no free time/internet/electricity, didn't make it any easier.

At this point it's still very very dear to me, but it also feels like it was made by a completely different person - I started writing and drawing it in high school, half a lifetime ago. It would be hard to pick it up where I left off, after so long. If I go back to it (which I do still think about) it would have to be with a quicker, more sustainable art style, and probably redrawing/rewriting it from the beginning to make it something I was happier with as a whole. And I'd want to have everything roughly drafted before posting anything - I wouldn't restart it unless I knew I'd be able to finish it properly this time, with a quality I'd be happy with all the way through.

I'd still pick it up in a heartbeat if I could afford to take the winters off and do nothing but build up a buffer of pages to cover the year to come - it's a question of time and financial stability, not of interest. (The next few pages are still in my WIP folder, accusatorily) I just flat haven't been able to afford it, and what with the whole 'superyacht crushing the boat that was my sole source of income' thing, it's unlikely the next few years are going to give me the chance either. We'll see, I guess.

[lila-lou]

✨His true fate - Part 30/?✨

Summary: Jensen hasn't been happy for years. But it seems almost impossible for him to escape. After another nasty argument between him and his wife, he decides to visit his ´former´ best friend for his birthday. Back in Austin, an encounter awaits him that will turn his life completely upside down.

Pairing: Jensen x Reader

Warnings: 18+ only! Smut, Language, age gap, angst, fluff

Word Count: 7782

A/N: English isn’t my first language, please be lenient. 💙

A while later, Jensen stepped behind Danneel into her hotel room, feeling the weight of the evening bearing down on him. He was tired—tired of the endless back and forth, tired of the emotional tug-of-war, and tired of pretending that things were okay when they clearly weren’t. But before he could dwell too long on his weariness, he heard the familiar patter of small feet and a chorus of excited voices.

"Dad!", JJ and the twins shot toward him, their faces lighting up with excitement the moment they spotted him. Instantly, Jensen’s exhaustion melted away as his kids wrapped their arms around his legs and torso, jumping up to hug him. He knelt down, scooping them up into his arms as best as he could, grinning despite everything.

“Hey, hey!”, Jensen laughed, hugging them tightly. “I missed you guys”.

JJ was the first to pull back, looking up at him with a mischievous grin. “We missed you too, Dad! We were waiting forever!”, she exaggerated, her hands gesturing wildly, as if they’d been waiting hours longer than they actually had.

“Forever, huh?”, Jensen teased, ruffling her hair. “Well, I’m here now”.

The twins clung to him, babbling over each other about their day, their toys, and everything he had missed while he had been with Danneel. His heart swelled with love for them, the stress of the evening fading into the background. For these few moments, it was just him and his kids—no tension, no arguments, no looming decisions. Just them.

Danneel stood by the door, watching the reunion with a quiet expression. She didn’t interrupt, giving him this moment with the kids, and for once, Jensen was grateful. It wasn’t often that they had moments of peace like this, and he wasn’t about to let anything spoil it.

After a few minutes, Jensen stood up, his kids still clinging to him. “So”, he said, looking around the room, “what’s the plan for the rest of the night? What have you guys been up to?”.

JJ’s face lit up as she tugged at his arm. “We were watching a movie, but we can start over since you’re here now! Please?”.

Jensen chuckled, glancing at Danneel, who shrugged slightly, as if to say, it’s your call.

“Sure, why not?”, he said, turning back to his kids. “Let’s watch it together”.

They scrambled back toward the couch, the twins chattering excitedly as JJ grabbed the remote to restart the movie. Jensen settled onto the couch, pulling them close as they nestled against him, their energy contagious.

For a brief moment, as the movie started playing, everything felt… normal. Like they were just a family enjoying a movie, without the weight of divorce and custody hanging over them. Jensen allowed himself to relax, to be present in this moment with his kids, knowing that this was what it was all for—the long hours, the hard conversations, the compromises. It was for them, to make sure they had this stability.

Danneel sat down across from them, her expression still neutral but less sharp than earlier. She didn’t say much, just watched the movie quietly, letting the evening play out in peace.

Meanwhile, you sat with Jared and Misha at a quiet bar tucked away in a corner, the low hum of conversation around you barely registering in your mind. Dinner had finished over an hour ago, and the three of you had decided to stick around for drinks, waiting for any sign from Jensen. But as time dragged on, you couldn't help but feel the weight of his absence pressing down on you.

Jared was watching you closely, noticing your distant gaze as you stared blankly at the condensation on your glass. He leaned forward and gently shoved your drink closer to you, offering a small, encouraging smile. “You’re gonna want to finish that before it gets warm”, he teased lightly, though you could hear the concern in his voice.

Misha, sipping on his cocktail, shot Jared a glance before turning his attention to you. “You okay?”, he asked, his tone softer than usual, as if he could sense the tension building inside you.

You forced a smile, though it didn’t quite reach your eyes. “Yeah, I’m fine”, you replied, though your heart wasn’t in it. The truth was, you weren’t fine. It had been hours, and there was still no word from Jensen. You knew he was with Danneel and the kids, that this was important, but the uncertainty was starting to wear on you. You tried not to let it show, not wanting to come off as clingy or unreasonable, but the waiting was harder than you’d expected.

Jared raised an eyebrow, clearly unconvinced. “Look, I know this isn’t exactly how you pictured the night going”, he said, leaning back in his chair, “but you know how it is with the kids. They’re probably watching some Disney movie, and Jensen’s caught up in it”.

Misha nodded in agreement, setting his glass down. “Yeah, I mean, if he’s with the kids, that’s all the explanation you need. He probably got sucked into ‘Frozen’ or ‘Toy Story’ and lost track of time”.

You let out a soft laugh at Misha’s joke, knowing that he was probably right. “Yeah, you’re probably right”, you said, your voice a little lighter now.

Jared, sensing that you needed a distraction, leaned in closer. “Look, I know it’s hard, but trust me—Jensen’s all in with you. He’s dealing with a lot right now, but that doesn’t mean he’s forgetting about you”.

You glanced at Jared, appreciating his attempt to ease your mind, but a part of you couldn’t help but feel a little restless. “I know he is”, you replied, sighing softly. “It’s just… I hate waiting around like this, not knowing what’s going on”.

Misha offered you a reassuring smile. “It’s understandable. But you know Jensen—if something was wrong, he’d let you know. He’s probably just caught up with the kids, and that’s something we can’t fault him for”.

You nodded, knowing they were both right. It wasn’t that you didn’t trust Jensen or his commitment to you—it was just the limbo that made you uneasy. You wanted to hear from him, to know that everything was okay, and that the evening hadn’t turned into some drawn-out confrontation with Danneel. But as the minutes ticked by, you tried to push those worries to the back of your mind.

“He’ll be here soon. In the meantime, let’s finish these drinks and try not to stress, yeah?”.

You smiled gratefully at Jared, feeling a little more grounded. “Yeah, you’re right. Thanks, guys”.

Misha grinned, lifting his glass. “To patience, then”, he said, raising a toast.

You clinked your glass with theirs, taking a sip of your drink, trying to let yourself relax. Even though Jensen hadn’t called yet, you reminded yourself that he was likely caught up with his kids, just as Jared and Misha had said. He’d be there soon.

What you didn’t know was that, at that very moment, Jensen had fallen asleep on the couch with his kids curled up beside him. He hadn’t meant to, but after the long day and the emotional exhaustion of dealing with Danneel, the warmth and comfort of having his kids close had lulled him into a deep sleep. For now, he was completely unaware of the time that had passed, unaware that you were waiting for him.

Eventually, Jared and Misha walked you back to your hotel room, both trying to lift your spirits as best they could. They had been great company all evening, but as the hours dragged on and there was still no word from Jensen, your unease had grown. You’d texted him a few times, just to let him know where you were, hoping for some sort of response—anything to indicate he hadn’t forgotten. But still, nothing.

“He’ll probably be here any minute”, Jared reassured you with a confident smile, even though the clock was ticking later than anyone had expected.

Misha nodded in agreement. “Yeah, he’s probably feeling guilty right now for not checking his phone. He’s going to show up, don’t worry”.

You smiled at them, appreciating the support, but the anxious knot in your stomach had only tightened. “I hope so. Thanks, you guys, for tonight. I know it wasn’t the plan”.

“Anytime”, Jared said, giving your shoulder a comforting squeeze. “Get some rest, and Jensen will be knocking at your door before you know it”.

Misha added with a wink, “If not, just send me after him”.

You managed a soft chuckle at that, but deep down, you were more worried than amused. You bid them both goodnight and entered your room, closing the door softly behind you. The room felt too quiet now, the air thick with uncertainty. You paced for a bit, checking your phone again—still no response. You sighed, trying to push the unease aside, but the silence on the other end felt heavy.

Meanwhile, back in Danneel’s hotel room, Jensen and the kids were still fast asleep. Jensen’s body slouched slightly on the couch, his kids curled up beside him, their small arms wrapped around him in peaceful slumber. His phone, placed precariously between his legs, had vibrated several times throughout the evening, but he hadn’t stirred. The exhaustion from the day had knocked him out cold, completely unaware of the missed messages and calls.

Danneel, however, wasn’t asleep. She lay in her bed across the room, watching the scene unfold. She had been awake for a while, her thoughts swirling. Watching Jensen sleep with the kids, she couldn’t help but feel a twinge of something—jealousy, resentment, or maybe just a reminder of what they had lost. But as the phone continued to vibrate in his lap, her curiosity grew.

With a glance at Jensen to make sure he was still out cold, Danneel quietly slipped out of bed and padded over to the couch. The phone buzzed again, lighting up briefly as it vibrated against the fabric of his jeans. She leaned over, careful not to wake him or the kids, and caught a glimpse of the screen. Though the phone was locked, one thing was clear: your name kept flashing with every new notification. Three missed messages from Y/N.

Danneel’s eyes narrowed as she straightened up, her mind racing. She had never heard your name before in the context of Jensen, not in any conversation, not even as a passing mention.

Danneel’s curiosity only deepened as she stared at Jensen’s phone, your name flashing on the screen like a beacon. She had pieced together enough to know you were important to Jensen, but not knowing exactly who you were was driving her mad. The phone was locked, so there was no easy way for her to get the information she was dying to uncover—a picture, a detail, something that would help her put a face to the name.

Frustrated but unwilling to risk waking Jensen or the kids, Danneel silently slipped back to her bed, her mind racing. Who were you? How long had this been going on, and why hadn’t she known about it sooner? Jensen was a private person, but this was different. He’d hidden you well, but now that she knew your name, it felt like a key to unraveling everything.

Lying there in the dark, she couldn’t shake the urge to know more. She wanted to see what kind of woman Jensen had chosen after her, someone who had clearly been important enough to text him multiple times late into the night. What did you look like? Were you younger? Prettier? Someone more… her type?

A part of her burned with jealousy—whether it was toward Jensen for moving on or toward you for stepping into a life she once controlled, she wasn’t sure. But the feeling gnawed at her, pulling her into thoughts she hadn’t allowed herself to fully acknowledge. Was she just bitter because she couldn’t keep things together with Jensen? Or was it that seeing him with someone new made her face a reality she wasn’t ready for?

Danneel glanced back over at Jensen. It was a peaceful scene, one that reminded her of how things used to be when they were still a family, before everything had fallen apart. But now, with your name in the picture, she couldn’t help but feel like an outsider to that peace—like she had been replaced.

She knew there was no way she’d get anything out of his phone tonight, but she wasn’t done. She’d find a way to learn more about you, to see who this woman was who had apparently captured Jensen’s attention. Danneel wasn’t the kind to sit back and let things unfold without her knowing the full story.

For now, she had to be patient. She lay back down, though her mind refused to quiet. The knowledge that Jensen had someone else, that you were out there waiting for him, only added to the mess in her head. As she stared at the ceiling, she made a quiet promise to herself: she would find out more about you.

She wasn’t going to let this go.

Back in your hotel room, the silence was deafening. You sat on the edge of the bed, staring at your phone, hoping for some kind of response. You had texted Jensen multiple times, your worry building with each unanswered message.

Why hadn’t Jensen responded? Even a quick message, just to let you know he was okay, would have been enough. You tried not to let your mind wander too far into negative territory, but it was hard not to wonder if something was wrong—or if there was more to the situation with Danneel than he had let on.

With a deep sigh, you set your phone on the nightstand, trying to convince yourself to get some rest. Jensen would explain everything when he could. He was with his kids, and that was important. But as you lay there, the uncertainty gnawed at you, making sleep feel like a distant possibility.

You pulled the blanket up, staring at the ceiling in the dim light, your mind racing with thoughts you wished you could quiet. You wanted to trust that everything was okay, but as the hours ticked by, you couldn’t shake the uneasy feeling that something had shifted. Something you didn’t yet understand.

It wasn’t until Arrow padded across the room, her little voice mumbling something about needing to pee, that Jensen stirred from his deep sleep. Groggily, he blinked his eyes open, the soft glow from the hotel room barely illuminating the space around him. The weight of JJ was still pressed against his side, her head resting on his arm. He glanced over and saw Danneel fast asleep in the big hotel bed, Zeppelin curled up beside her, oblivious to the world.

Jensen rubbed his face with his free hand, the fog of sleep slowly lifting. That’s when he noticed his phone, still wedged between his legs. His eyes widened as he saw the screen light up with missed messages from you.

“Fuck”, he cursed under his breath, the realization hitting him all at once.

It was 3 in the morning.

Arrow, too sleepy to notice his dad’s panic, shuffled into the bathroom, leaving Jensen alone in the quiet room with the weight of the situation crashing down on him. He felt a pang of guilt ripple through him—he hadn’t meant to fall asleep. The plan had been to check on the kids, spend a bit of time with them, and then head out to meet you. But now, hours had passed, and you’d been left waiting.

Carefully, he adjusted JJ, making sure not to wake her as he reached for his phone. The missed calls and messages stared back at him like a silent reprimand. You had texted him multiple times, probably wondering where he was and why he hadn’t responded. His heart sank as he scrolled through them:

You: Hey, just wanted to check in and see how things are going with the kids. You: We’re heading back to the hotel now. You: Is everything okay? Let me know when you get a chance. You: I’m starting to get worried. Haven’t heard from you. Please text me.

Jensen’s heart clenched at the last one. You must have been worried sick, wondering why he hadn’t responded. He ran a hand through his hair, frustrated with himself for letting things get this far. His mind raced with how he was going to explain the situation to you. You knew he’d been with the kids, but this wasn’t what he’d planned. And now, it was 3 a.m., and he wasn’t even sure if you were still awake.

He shot a quick glance toward Danneel, who was still sound asleep, and sighed. This whole night had gone sideways. Trying to move as quietly as possible, Jensen extricated himself from JJ’s sleeping form, laying her gently on the couch before grabbing his phone. He stepped out into the hallway, closing the door softly behind him to avoid waking anyone up.

Standing there in the dim light of the hallway, he tapped out a quick text to you:

Jensen: I’m so sorry. I fell asleep with the kids. Just woke up now. I didn’t mean to leave you hanging like this. I’ll explain everything, but I wanted you to know I’m okay.

He hesitated for a moment, wondering if you were even awake to read the message, but he hit send anyway. It was the least

But you were already asleep, your phone lying untouched on the nightstand, its screen dark and silent. Jensen quietly gathered his things, careful not to wake the kids, who were already fast asleep again. Arrow had climbed back onto the couch beside JJ, their small bodies curled together in peaceful slumber.

Jensen cast a quick glance at Danneel, still sleeping soundly in the large hotel bed, and decided not to linger. There was nothing left to say to her tonight. He slipped out of the room, gently closing the door behind him. His mind was focused now—he needed to get to you, explain everything, and apologize for leaving you in the dark for so long.

As soon as he was outside, the cold air hit him, waking him up a little more. He quickly pulled out his phone, dialing for a taxi. The streets were quiet at this hour, with only a few cars passing by. It didn’t take long for the cab to arrive, and Jensen slipped into the back seat, giving the driver the name of your hotel.

He leaned back against the seat, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

The taxi ride felt longer than it was, the silence in the car giving Jensen too much time to think. His mind wandered, filled with guilt for how the night had unfolded. He could only hope that you’d understand once he explained the situation. He wasn’t the type to leave you hanging, and tonight had been an exception—one he hadn’t anticipated but would make sure didn’t happen again.

When the taxi pulled up outside your hotel, Jensen paid the driver quickly and hurried inside, making his way to the elevator. His steps were quick but quiet as he reached the door to your room.

Jensen stood outside the door to your hotel room, the keycard in his hand, hesitating for a moment. He let out a soft sigh, his shoulders heavy with guilt. He hadn’t meant for the night to turn out this way, and now here he was, creeping in hours later, hoping you’d understand. He swiped the card through the lock and quietly stepped inside, careful not to make any noise.

The room was dim, the soft glow from the streetlights outside casting a faint light across the bed where you lay, curled up in the blankets. You were fast asleep, your breathing soft and even. Jensen paused, watching you for a moment, his heart heavy with the knowledge that he’d let you down tonight.

There were still two hours before his alarm would go off for the second day of the convention. Quietly, Jensen moved to the corner of the room and began to undress. He peeled off his jacket and shirt, setting them on the chair by the desk. His eyes never strayed far from you, the sight of you so peaceful in sleep only deepening his guilt. He wanted to wake you, to apologize and explain, but he couldn’t bring himself to disturb you.

As he slipped out of his jeans, he moved quietly to the edge of the bed, sitting down gently beside you. For a moment, he just watched you, his heart aching. He reached out, carefully brushing a strand of hair away from your face.

As you felt his touch, your eyes fluttered open, blinking heavily as the haze of sleep slowly lifted. It took a moment for you to realize what was happening, your mind still fuzzy with tiredness. You blinked again, and in the dim light of the room, you saw him—Jensen, sitting beside you, his expression etched with guilt and exhaustion.

“Hey”, you whispered, your voice thick with sleep as you tried to gather your bearings. “What time is it?”.

Jensen sighed softly, his hand still resting near your face. “It’s late. A little after three”, he admitted, his voice low and apologetic.

You blinked a few more times, your brain slowly processing the situation. You had fallen asleep waiting for him, unsure of what had happened or why he hadn’t shown up or answered your messages. Now here he was, hours later, looking as guilty as you’d ever seen him.

“You’re just getting in?”, you asked softly, your voice gentle but carrying a hint of the hurt you were feeling.

Jensen nodded, his hand moving to lightly touch your shoulder. “Yeah. I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for things to go like this. I…I fell asleep with the kids”, he said, his tone full of regret. “I should’ve texted you earlier, but everything with Danneel and the kids just…it got overwhelming, and then I was out cold”.

You sighed, shifting slightly in bed so you could face him more fully. You weren’t angry, not really. More than anything, you were relieved to see him, to hear him explain. But the lingering feeling of being left in the dark still stung.

"I was worried”, you mumbled softly, pulling the blanket up to cover yourself a little more, almost as if it could shield you from the vulnerability you were feeling. You hated the wave of emotion that came with it—the uncertainty, the waiting, the hurt. You felt stupid for staying up, waiting all evening, and now that he was finally here, the mixture of relief and frustration sat heavy in your chest.

Jensen’s heart twisted as he watched you, the disappointment in your eyes cutting deeper than he expected. He knew he’d messed up. He knew how much his silence must have weighed on you, and seeing you like this made him feel even worse.

“I know”, he murmured, his voice low and filled with regret. His hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb tracing lightly along your skin. “I should have been here. I didn’t mean to leave you waiting, and I’m sorry I made you feel like that”.

You nodded slightly, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling. “I just… I felt stupid, you know? Waiting around, not when you were coming”.

Jensen’s chest tightened at your words. He hated that you felt that way. More than anything, he wanted to make it right, to show you how much you meant to him. The urge to close the space between you, to kiss you, and make you feel loved and secure overwhelmed him in that moment.

Without thinking, Jensen leaned down, his lips brushing yours softly at first, then deeper as if he could pour all his apologies and emotions into that kiss. His hand slipped to the back of your neck, holding you gently but with an intensity that conveyed everything he couldn’t put into words. He wanted you to feel how much you mattered to him, how much you meant.

You kissed him back, hesitantly at first, but the warmth of his touch and the sincerity in the kiss began to chip away at the frustration you had felt. The connection between you two was undeniable, even through the mess of emotions. Slowly, you melted into him, your fingers tangling in his hair as you pulled him closer, deepening the kiss.

Jensen’s hands moved slowly, gently, as he deepened the kiss, his fingertips lightly brushing over your skin. The warmth of his touch sent a soft shiver down your spine, and despite the lingering frustration from earlier, you couldn’t help but let yourself sink into the moment. The intensity of his kiss, the way his hands moved with care and reverence, slowly began to erase the hurt you’d felt.

His hand slid down to the blanket you had pulled up around yourself, and with a gentle tug, he pushed it aside, revealing your body clad only in a thin thong and a small, fitted top. His breath hitched slightly at the sight of you, his eyes darkening with both desire and tenderness. For a moment, he just looked at you, taking in the way your body curved beneath him, but it wasn’t just lust in his gaze—it was something deeper, something that spoke to how much he wanted to make things right between you.

"God", he whispered softly, his voice thick with emotion as his hand trailed along your side, brushing against the exposed skin of your waist. "You’re so beautiful".

His touch was slow and deliberate, as though he was trying to remind you of how much you meant to him with every stroke of his hand. He leaned down, kissing you again—this time slower, more purposeful—as his hands continued to explore your body with the same delicate care. His fingers traced the line of your hip, slipping under the edge of your top, his touch warm against your skin.

You let out a soft sigh against his lips, your body reacting to the warmth of his closeness, the intimacy of the moment drawing you in further. The lingering hurt you’d felt began to melt away with each tender touch, each gentle kiss. Jensen’s hands moved to lift your top, sliding it up and over your head before tossing it aside. His gaze roamed over you, filled with both admiration and guilt, as if he couldn’t believe how lucky he was to be here with you, despite how he’d messed up.

He leaned down, pressing soft kisses to your collarbone, then lower, trailing down the center of your chest as his hands continued to caress your sides, pulling you even closer to him. Every touch, every kiss was an unspoken apology, a silent promise that he was here, fully present with you now.

You ran your fingers through his hair, pulling him closer as his lips explored your skin. The earlier frustration was gone now, replaced by the intensity of the connection you shared with him since day one. Jensen’s hand slipped lower, tracing the curve of your hip, pulling you tighter against him.

He pulled back slightly, his gaze meeting yours, his breath coming a little heavier now. "I love you", he whispered, his voice raw and sincere, as though he needed you to know it in this moment, needed you to feel how much you meant to him.

"I love you too", you whispered back, your hand still resting in his hair, tugging him gently back toward you. You pulled him into another deep, lingering kiss, and in that moment, all the worry and hurt from earlier faded, leaving only the warmth and closeness of being with him.

Jensen’s lips moved softly against your skin, the warmth of each kiss sending shivers through you. As he kissed down your body, his breath grew heavier, but so did the emotion behind his every touch. When he reached the waistband of your panties, he paused, resting his forehead gently against your lower stomach.

“I’m sorry”, he murmured, his voice thick with regret. “I didn’t mean to make you feel like you weren’t important… like you didn’t matter. You mean everything to me”. His lips brushed lightly over your skin again, soft and reverent.

The sincerity in his words cut through the haze of intimacy, grounding the moment in something deeper. It wasn’t just about desire—this was Jensen trying to make amends, to show you how deeply he cared for you beyond just physical attraction. His hands moved gently along your thighs, gripping softly but with a tenderness that matched his words.

“I never want to hurt you”, he whispered, looking up at you, his fingers gently tracing the outline of your waistband. “I’m here now, and I’m not going anywhere”.

Your heart clenched at his words, and you could see how much he meant it. His guilt, his need to make things right, it all reflected in the way he touched you, like he was pouring every ounce of love he had into each movement. His fingers slowly dipped under the waistband of your panties, and he kissed your hips softly, as though asking for permission, waiting for your approval before moving any further.

You let out a soft breath, running your fingers through his hair, gently urging him on. “I know, Jensen”, you whispered, your voice filled with affection and reassurance. “I trust you”.

That seemed to be all the reassurance he needed. Jensen kissed you again, lower this time, his lips brushing the sensitive skin just above the waistband of your panties. His hands moved deliberately, carefully sliding them down your hips, his eyes never leaving yours as he did.

Jensen’s actions were deliberate and filled with the sincerity of his earlier words. This wasn’t just about physical intimacy; it was his way of bridging the emotional gap.

As he gently spread your legs more, allowing himself to get comfortable between them, his eyes never left yours. The vulnerability in his gaze mirrored your own, creating a deep connection that went beyond the physical. It was as if, in this moment, all the frustration, the waiting, and the uncertainty were melting away, leaving only the raw, genuine affection you both shared.

“You mean everything to me”, Jensen whispered again, his voice barely audible but filled with unwavering conviction. “I don’t want to lose you. Not like this”.

This was how he expressed the depth of his emotions, how he communicated the things he struggled to say with words. You knew him well enough by now to understand that moments like these were his way of showing just how much you meant to him, even if the way he went about it was slightly unconventional—maybe even a little twisted.

You bit your lip, feeling the warmth of his body and the intensity of his gaze. There was no denying the connection between you, the way his every touch seemed to erase the distance that had built up over the evening. The frustration, the worry—they were dissolving, replaced by the unspoken promise that he was here, fully present, and committed to making things right.

“Jensen…”, you whispered, unsure of how to put into words the mix of emotions swirling inside you. It wasn’t just the relief of him being there; it was the reassurance that, despite everything, he truly did appreciate and care for you. You could feel it in every kiss, in every touch.

Jensen’s lips moved with deliberate tenderness, pressing softly against your most intimate spot. The warmth of his kiss sent a rush of sensations through you, blending seamlessly with the lingering emotions of the evening.

You let out a soft sigh, the mixture of relief and desire swirling within you. The earlier frustrations and worries seemed to dissolve under the sincerity of his actions.

Your hands ran through his hair, pressing him softly closer as he dipped his tongue gently, pressing it flat against your clit.

You moaned quietly, the sound a soft affirmation of the connection you both were rekindling. Jensen responded by pulling you closer, his hands gently resting on your hipbones, guiding you into a more intimate embrace.

Jensen’s tongue moved with deliberate patience, his movements slow and intentional as he began to explore your most intimate spot. Each gentle lick was accompanied by a soft murmur of apology and affection, his eyes never leaving yours.

You felt a warm flush spread through your body, the earlier frustrations and worries melting away more and more under the soothing rhythm of his touch.

Jensen’s hands moved gently along your thighs, his touch both comforting and electrifying. He was attuned to your responses, adjusting his movements to ensure your pleasure. Every lick was slow and deliberate, each one building anticipation and deepening the intimacy between you.

As his actions intensified, the passion overwhelmed your senses. With a breathless whisper, you guided him upwards, your hands trembling slightly as you pulled him closer. He understood your unspoken request instantly; his movements synchronized with your desires as he pushed his boxershorts down, freeing himself.

The moment his lips met yours, the intensity escalated. The taste of yourself on his lips heightened the experience, blurring the lines between your separate existences. As he positioned himself at your entrance, you both paused, sharing a look. Then, with a gentle thrust, he eased inside of you, the depth of his penetration making you cry out softly against his lips. The sensation was overwhelming yet perfect, filling you completely in one fluid motion.

Jensen’s movements were slow, almost reverent, as he began to move within you. Each thrust was measured, designed to bring pleasure and express his apologies and promises non-verbally. His hands, previously tracing paths along your thighs, now cradled your face and ran through your hair, pulling you into a deep, passionate kiss that mirrored the rhythm of his movements.

"I love you”, Jensen mumbled into the kiss, his voice low and filled with emotion. His hand gripped your hip firmly, holding you in place as his thrusts became slightly rougher, each movement still deeply reverent but now driven by a growing intensity.

Your response was a soft moan into his mouth, your arms wrapping around his neck, pulling him even closer if possible. The way he said those words, with such profound sincerity, made your heart swell within your chest. It wasn’t just a declaration; it was a reaffirmation of everything he felt, everything he wanted to make up to you.

The sound of your combined breaths filled the room. You could feel every inch of him, every pulse and throb as he moved within you, each thrust meeting a need you hadn’t voiced but he had understood.

The intensity of the moment built with each passing second, the room echoing with the sound of your bodies coming together. His free hand wandered up to caress your cheek, his thumb tracing the line of your jaw as he looked into your eyes. The connection was palpable, a raw and unguarded exchange of emotions that spoke louder than words could.

“You mean everything to me”, Jensen breathed out, each word punctuated by a deep thrust that sent waves of pleasure radiating through you. His gaze held yours, locked in a moment of complete vulnerability and trust.

As Jensen’s movements became even more focused, each thrust seemed to hit just the right spot inside you, his tip brushing against your G-spot with a precision that left you breathless. The intensity of his actions brought waves of pleasure that coursed through your body. His name escaped your lips in a loud moan, the sound filling the room, mingling with the rhythmic sounds of your unity.

Feeling you clench around him, Jensen’s breath hitched, his movements momentarily faltering as he shuddered with the sensations.

Jensen’s hand, which had been caressing your cheek, moved to entwine his fingers with yours, holding them beside your head on the pillow, anchoring you to the moment, to him.

"Look at me”, Jensen urged gently, his voice low and intense. He squeezed your intertwined hands, while his other arm supported him, keeping him elevated just above you. His gaze was unwavering, filled with a mix of raw desire and deep affection, inviting you to connect not just physically, but soulfully as well.

You met his gaze, locking eyes with him as he continued his deliberate, focused movements. The depth of emotion you saw reflected back at you amplified the sensations rippling through your body. In his eyes, you saw not just the physical pleasure, but a profound commitment and an open vulnerability that he shared only with you.

As Jensen maintained eye contact, his thrusts remained slow and measured, each one driving deeper. The intensity of his gaze, coupled with the depth of his strokes, created a crescendo of sensations that threatened to overwhelm you.

“Stay with me”, he breathed, almost as a whisper, as if he was sharing a secret that only you could understand. This simple plea was laden with meaning, reinforcing his desire to remain connected in every way possible.

Your response was a breathless nod.

His gaze drifted momentarily to your chest, watching the subtle movements synchronized with his thrusts. The sight elicited a deeper groan from him as his eyes fluttered closed, a wave of pleasure evident on his face. Then, with a firmer resolve, he pushed deeper, increasing the force slightly.

When his eyes reopened and met yours again, something in his expression had shifted—a raw intensity, a silent plea mixed with the depths of his feelings laid bare. The connection in that look, so charged and so full, tipped you over the edge. You felt the climax build rapidly, an overwhelming rush that seized your entire being.

As you came around him, your eyes locked with his, the world outside melted away. Your body clenched around him, and his response was immediate; his own climax triggered by the intensity of your release. Jensen’s movements slowed as he rode out the waves of his own release, each pulse and throb echoing yours, deeply interconnected.

After a moment, Jensen’s thrusts slowed to a stop.

As Jensen’s movements finally ceased, his grip on your hand loosened, his chest heaving as he fought to catch his breath. His eyes remained closed, lashes fluttering slightly against the high color of his cheeks.

Slowly, his eyes opened, meeting yours once again with a softness that contrasted starkly with the raw intensity from moments before.

Jensen’s hand shifted from yours to trace a gentle line along your jaw, his touch tender as if he were handling something precious. “You okay?”, he asked softly. It was a simple question, but laden with deeper meanings, seeking assurance not just about your physical state but also about the emotional undercurrents of what had just transpired.

You nodded, unable to keep from smiling slightly.

With a soft, lingering kiss on your forehead, Jensen gently pulled out of you, the sudden absence leaving behind a sense of warmth and tenderness. He let himself sink onto the bed beside you, his body still humming with the aftermath of your shared intensity. His hand brushed through his damp hair, pushing it back as he exhaled deeply, still catching his breath.

As you cleaned up, you glanced over at him, his chest still rising and falling with a gentle rhythm, a contented smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Jensen turned his head to face you, his eyes full of affection as he watched you. “I’ll never get tired of moments like this with you”, he murmured, his voice low but filled with sincerity.

You felt a slight blush creeping up your cheeks at Jensen's words, his sincerity catching you off guard in the best way possible. Before you could respond, he gently pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you and pressing your body tightly against his. The warmth of his embrace enveloped you, and for a moment, it felt like the entire world was just the two of you, nestled in this shared, quiet space.

His heartbeat was steady beneath your ear, a comforting rhythm that mirrored the ease of the moment. You let yourself sink into him, your arms finding their way around his waist, holding him as close as he was holding you. The softness of the sheets, the warmth of his skin, and the gentle rise and fall of his chest created a cocoon of calm around you both.

Jensen pressed a soft kiss to the top of your head, his lips lingering there for a moment. "I love you", he whispered, the words almost a breath against your hair. It wasn’t the first time he’d said it, but each time felt just as powerful, as if he was reminding you of something constant and unwavering between the two of you.

You tilted your head up slightly to meet his gaze, your heart swelling with affection as you whispered back, "I love you too", The smile that spread across his face in response was pure, filled with the kind of warmth that made everything else fade away.

For a while, you both stayed like that—wrapped up in each other, the quiet hum of the world outside the only sound that occasionally drifted in. There was no rush to move, no need for words to fill the silence. Everything felt right, exactly as it was.

Jensen’s hand absentmindedly traced gentle circles on your back, his touch soothing and familiar. "Let’s just stay like this", he murmured, his voice soft, "for as long as we can".

You nodded against him, your body relaxed in his arms. "I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else".

As you drifted back to sleep, your body curled up against Jensen’s, he lay there wide awake, his mind racing even though the room was peaceful. His heart ached as he watched you sleep so peacefully, your face relaxed and your trust in him evident in the way you clung to him even in your sleep. He gently brushed a strand of hair from your face, careful not to wake you again, his touch soft and reverent.

In the quiet moments that followed, Jensen couldn't shake the heavy weight pressing down on him. You had given him so much—your love, your support, your patience—and yet he felt like he was always falling short. His life had become a series of complications, and somehow, you were constantly caught in the middle of it. The guilt gnawed at him, growing heavier with each passing thought.

He didn’t deserve this level of trust, of unwavering love. Not when he kept disappointing you. Jensen's mind wandered to the countless times his complicated life had interfered—his obligations, his kids, the unresolved issues with Danneel. Every time he thought he was getting things right, something else would fall apart. And yet, through it all, you never wavered. You believed in him, supported him, encouraged him, even when he couldn’t see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Jensen’s chest tightened with the weight of it all. He couldn’t help but wonder if you deserved more—someone whose life wasn’t so tangled, someone who could give you the stability and simplicity you deserved. The thought of losing you, of not being enough for you, scared him more than anything. But even scarier was the idea that he might hurt you by continuing to drag you through his messy world.

He let out a shaky breath, feeling the lump form in his throat as his eyes lingered on your peaceful face. He loved you more than anything, but how long could you keep giving him so much without him truly being able to give back? He wanted to be the man you deserved, but with everything that weighed on him—the kids, the divorce, the constant demands of his career—he worried that no matter how much he tried, he would always end up falling short.

His hand tightened slightly around your waist, pulling you closer as if to reassure himself that you were still here, still with him. He kissed the top of your head, his lips lingering there as he closed his eyes, trying to push away the suffocating guilt.

"Sorry", he whispered softly, his voice barely audible. It wasn’t something he intended for you to hear—just something he needed to say, even if only to himself. "I´m so fucking sorry". He wished he could do better, be better, for you. But right now, all he could do was hold you close and hope that someday, somehow, he would be able to live up to everything you saw in him.

As the night wore on and the room remained silent, Jensen stayed awake, his mind restless despite the calm around him. He watched you, a mixture of love and guilt swirling inside him, knowing that no matter how complicated things became, he would do whatever it took to keep you in his life—if only he could figure out how to balance the chaos and keep from breaking the heart of the one person he couldn’t bear to lose.

———————————

A/N: Please let me know what you think.🥰

-

Part 31

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Taglist: @cheynovak @chriszgirl92 @jenniferr0323 @angelbabyyy99 @cevansbaby-dove @muhahaha303 @jackles010378 @suckitands33 @n-o-p-e-never @mayafatimakhan @ladysparkles78 @viviandarkbloom06 @jassackles @evasmlp @acklesaddict67 @mostlymarvelgirl @emma1998sblog @mishaesque @headinthemoon87 @hobby27 @winchesterwild78 @impala67rollingthroughtown @manicjk @kr804573 @zaratahir @djs8891 @winchesterwild78 @jamerlynn @whimsyfinny @libby99hb @deansimpalababy @deans-queen @kawaii-arfid-memes @faephoria @stoneyggirl2 @fitxgrld @luvr4miya @yikeschoices @lyssalvus @soab1967 @luvr4miya @didi0666 @impala67rollingthroughtown @cheekygirl2309 @kamisobsessed

[every1sno1fangirl]

Happy Hifuumo Friday everyone!!!

One day I'll post this when it's actually friday but this time at least, we are SO BACK LIKE WE'VE NEVER BEEN BEFORE WOOO

I GOT THAT TREATMENT I NEEDED AND I FEEL FANTASTIC AFTER IT!

I don't feel /completely/ better, but enough to where I'm noticeably able to eat food with no difficulties and walk around without being in horrible pain, which is why I actually got to go out this week and get some pictures taken again!

In general it feels really great to be existing without managing/dealing with some kind of horrible pain again. I forgot what that was like in the past few months and getting to experience it once again is so so so very refreshing.

It is truly a most miserable experience I would not wish on anybody. I've been feeling fantastic since I got my actual treatment only a few days ago; I have another appointment set up earlier than usual for the 28th as well and I'm looking forward to that as well.

I have to restart the treatment dosage and such all over again because of how long it had been, including the amount of time I spend with the IV actually in my arm, but I'm more than happy to bear it if it means I can handle doing things in my life again.

I'm less exhausted even if my sleep schedule is still a little messed up and I'm able to actually use my brain again which is great. It's like a night and day difference and I really cannot possibly express that enough.

I won't be able to take total advantage of it of course—I'm still a little limited after all—but I'm happy I can at least go outside and take my funny little pictures again.

It's something I really, really missed doing.

So it's very refreshing that I actually get to do so once again. Fingers crossed I never have such a big gap in treatment ever again because so many of my habits (particularly with going out regularly) just fell to the wayside as a result.

I don't think I 'backslid' on any of my worst habits so much as just get rusty; Shaking it off should be no problem so long as I dedicate myself to it again. Either way I'll be going on adventures again.

And that's more than I could have asked for with the things I have to deal with.

If anybody reading this has been going through similar troubles, I hope yours will be alleviated soon as well.

As always, I love you all and I hope you have a great day/night!

[thewulf]

Here For You || JJ Maybank

Summary: Request - could you write a jj maybank and sister where she has a panic attack and he helps?

A/N - Ahhh I just cannot get enough of a good old hurt/comfort. This was a little different of a write since its an X sister! insert but I had a really good time writing it. A little shorter than usual but I really like it! Thanks for the request @obxlover14

Pairing: JJ Maybank x Sister!Reader

Word Count: 1.7k+

TW: Talks of Breakdowns, anxiety, overwhelming feelings etc.

It always happened when you least expected. The panic came over in a massive wave that engulfed your entirety seemingly out of nowhere. You’d been stressing out a little lately. Getting older meant decisions had to be made. Were you going to try and go to college? Or were you simply going to stay on the island and find weird jobs after graduating high school being the disappointment your dad expected from you? These thoughts consumed you whole making it hard to think of anything else. You started ruminating on it and before you knew it hot tears were streaming down your face.

It usually didn’t get this bad. You were normally able to stop you brain from going this far down the spiral it so often wanted to. You were a complete and utter mess who hid it well from the others. Ever since your mother left nearly ten years ago your father become more and more abusive as the years ticked on. Attributing that to your anxiety all you wanted to do was get the hell out. You knew JJ wanted to as well and he could. He turned eighteen a few months ago. But he waited around for you. Far too terrified at the thought of leaving you alone with your shared father. If you could even call him that anymore.

You found a wall in the hallway leading up to the kitchen and leaned back on it. Sliding down you brought your knees in close to your chest trying to huddle in on yourself. Bringing your hands up your tried to rub the anxiety away from your face to no avail. You tried your normal methods of calming down but was coming up devastatingly short. Tears kept slipping out of your eyes as your tried to slow your every increasing heart rate. Thank God your father was at work, you couldn’t imagine the ass beating that would come from a breakdown. Only further deteriorating your already rapidly declining mental state.

Not having a clue how long you were sitting there you tried your best counting back from a hundred. Trying to ground yourself in the moment. But you just couldn’t seem to get the hang of it. You kept losing track and having to restart after your mind started playing those normal tricks on you.

You felt a gentle hand on your shoulder breaking you from the trance you were seemingly locked in on. Head snapping around you met the familiar blue eyes of your older brother. Normally happy go lucky but a growing concern clouded his vision as he looked you over.

He grabbed at the hand that was grabbing at your own face, prying it away from its grasp, “Hey kid, there you are.” His smile was anything but real but he was trying his best to get you comfortable. It wasn’t all the often he came home to you cowering in on yourself on the floor unresponsive to his calls.

“I’m sorry.” You looked at him with wide eyes as you came back to the present. How long were you sitting there? A few seconds? Minutes? Hours? You hadn’t a damn clue.

He ignored you continuing, “Are you okay? I called out for you a few times.” He looked you over only giving a soft sigh once he concluded you were physically fine. Mentally he hadn’t any idea what you were going through.

You nodded before looking away. Suddenly embarrassed by your episode, “I’m okay JJ.” You voice rasped out sounding like it hadn’t been used in weeks. Were you yelling? Why did it sound so hoarse?

“That’s not very believable kid.” He sat down next to you letting you know he wasn’t planning on going anywhere until you stated speaking. As gently as JJ could manage he brushed your hair out of your face.

“Well, you better believe it.” You offered a rather pathetic smile. Again, not terrible believable and JJ clocked it.

“Come on, spill.” He spoke waiting on your response.

You looked him over. He didn’t look very thrilled with you. It was more out of concern than anything else, but it still made you terribly embarrassed. It seemed so pathetic, especially when you tried to explain it out loud.

“I’m just overwhelmed J.” You sighed in defeat not really wanting to go into much more detail.

He cocked his head to the side ever so slightly as if trying to read your cryptic mind. Sure he was your sibling but he wasn’t a miracle worker. He didn’t know the ins and outs of what kept your mind racing, “What about?”

“The future.” You answered honestly not trying to hide it from it. He’d get the answer he wanted from you anyway.

He gave you the first genuine smile of the afternoon, “You’re only a Junior. You’ve got some time to figure it out.”

You shook your head, “Applications are due soon. I don’t even know if I want to go to college. What will I do there? I can’t waste any time there. Don’t have the money too…” You began to babble.

He placed a grounding hand on your shoulder, “Relax, Y/N.”

“I can’t JJ!” You snapped. Eyes wide. You rarely yelled at your older brother. You knew better.

He ignored your outburst once again and placed a second hand on your other shoulder, “I need you to breathe after me. Alright?”

You nodded watching him closely. Mimicking his actions slowly. Breathing in for a second longer than you wanted and out. Copying him for a few minutes did actually help as your breathing slowed which also dropped your heartrate.

A few more tears slipped down your face as you calmed down. Thank goodness for your older brother being able to break you from the entrapment of your mind. After one last shaky breath your eyes met his once again. He looked nervous. It was an expression your rarely, if ever, saw on your older brother and you were sure it was because of you. What a time to have a mental fucking breakdown.

“I’m sorry J.” You breathed out in more of a whisper once again embarrassed by your very own whisper.

He shook his head, “Don’t say sorry. That’s what I’m here for kid.” Knowing that you were somewhat okay he reached over and wrapped you into his arm giving you one big squeeze. JJ adored you, his younger sister by a few years. See, you were the best of the Maybank’s. As kind as they came and smarter than ever. JJ knew he had to get you off this island one way or another. After seeing you so panic stricken over everything JJ knew it wasn’t a matter of it but when. You were too good for this island. Bound for so much more even if you didn’t know it yet. JJ did.

You nodded into his shoulder not daring to say another word knowing it’d come out a shaky mess. It was nice letting yourself feel the comfort from somebody you loved and adored. JJ might not have known it but you always looked up to him. He was never afraid to speak his mind, make new friends, go on crazy adventures. He was the opposite of you and you adored that about him. He was so unashamed to be himself. It did get him into trouble more than you liked to admit.

He spoke up breaking you out of your quiet stupor once more, “You don’t have to be scared. That’s what I’m here. That’s what the pogues are here for. We’re here to talk, okay?”

You nodded knowing you would never actually take him seriously. It wasn’t your place to bother them with sixteen-year-old problems. They had their own shit to deal with. Own people to please.

“Hey, I’m serious.”

You hummed in acknowledgement. He wouldn’t take that as an answer though.

“Look at me kid.” He said more seriously than he had in this entire interaction with him.

You did as he said and waited.

“You’ve got to speak to me. Talk to me. Or somebody. You can’t let these emotions bottle up anymore. It’s okay if you’ve got to talk about it. But you can’t keep doing this to yourself.” He gave your hand a gentle squeeze letting you know he was there for you, always.

When you didn’t speak he finished, “I’m here for you kid.”

“I love you J.”

His smile reached his eyes, “I love you too kiddo. Forever and always. But you know that.”

Permanent Taglist (Message me or comment below if you want to be added!) : @loving-and-dreaming @kmc1989 @memeorydotcom @matisse556 @buckylov3r @taygrls @ah-blossom @hardballoonlove @rosiahills22 @djs8891

[jesterwriting]

(for that timeloop post,, uhm this relates to the whole body horror thing ((not too much just a brief mention)) so if rn u don't wanna see that SCROLL AWAY!!! OR DELETE ME!! OK disclaimer ends here)

oh man but what if Law did say room anyway and there were impossible scars on your insides... like littered everywhere, they're not fresh but old, almost phantoms that make no sense, because if they were real you would've died. how would he react to that? maybe not when he noticed them crying but after weeks or months, dunno, where they keep skipping his more thorough check-ups (where he uses his devil fruit) since they're anxious about the pains? and think that somehow there are signs of their previous deaths and the mention of them makes it hurt more and more and they just can't do it. but they can't bring themselves to say it because who could possibly believe them? if Law doesn't, it would just feel even worse, won't it? even if they understand his point of view. maybe they even die in front of him and it gets harder to just hold all of that in,,, oh boy. if you think about continuing your oneshot i'll eat it like a starving animal!

pairing: law x gn!reader

contents: slight body horror, slight gore, timeloops, suicide done to restart the loop, hurt/comfort, happy ending,

word count: 1.6k words

note: OHHHHH I LOVED THIS IDEA OH MY GOD. absolutely so smart. anon your mind is huge and i had so much fun doing this request. <33 i really hope you enjoy :33

playlist: caribou - tanya tagaq

a sister fic to this

This had never happened before. You had experienced hundreds of loops, maybe even thousands, and this was the first time Law saw fit to scan you with his Devil Fruit.

Maybe you were getting sloppy. You had a strong immune system so you never got sick, and the first time Law scanned you for your general checkup upon joining the crew, there was nothing of note. You wondered what changed, as if you hadn’t died more times since you joined his crew than you had in your entire life. Maybe it was because the more you suffered, the more reckless you became, throwing yourself into the fray with little regard for yourself. You could take a bullet for your crewmates, so you would. It was as simple as that.

There was a first time for everything, you supposed. A first death, a first breath, a first kill; there were uncountable firsts that one could experience, and you had experienced most of them.

Not this one, though.

You had tried to avoid it for as long as possible. Your captain was a man who carried burdens, ones almost as heavy as the ones on your shoulders. If he knew how many times he failed you — or how many times you failed him — you knew he would take all the blame for himself. As if you hadn’t been the one lying, and fighting, and dying over the course of countless lifetimes.

Law blinked a few times before his brows furrowed and his eyes narrowed. You fidgeted under his stare. If his reaction was anything to go by, he found something horribly wrong with you. While you had experienced slow deaths before, you had never experienced what it felt like to waste away from disease. Maybe you’d find out this loop, you thought, trying to feel nonchalant about the idea and not like you were about to throw up.

“Um. What’s wrong,” You tried.

Law shushed you, the blue glow from his room still surrounding you. You bit your tongue, fingers playing with the hem of your shirt to try and take your mind off of whatever he could have found.

“This can’t be right,” He muttered, one hand cradling his chin. He pointed to your chest. “There’s a scar inside of you, it looks like a puncture wound through your lungs. When did that happen?”

Three loops ago when you fell off a building and onto some rebar. That was a particularly awful death. The last thing you remembered before everything went black was Law’s panicked expression as he tried to put you back together again. There was terror in his eyes. You tried not to think about that part.

“And here,” Law continued, pointing to your abdomen. “There’s a scar running across the length of your stomach. It almost looks as if you were previously disemboweled.”

You had been. Multiple times. It was a common and very disturbing loop ender that you tried to avoid if you could. Watching your organs fall out of you in a steaming heap was never something you liked to experience, but for some reason, your opponents kept aiming for the gut. You wished they’d aim for the heart or the head more often. At least then it’d be quick.

He didn’t stop there, jaw falling open when he stared directly where your heart was. “When were you stabbed, Y/N-ya, this looks recent.” Law blinked a few times before realization dawned on his features. His eyes shot to your face, expression going from open to unreadable in seconds. “How did you survive without my intervention?”

Your mouth was dry. How were you supposed to respond? There was no way you could tell him that you had died on his watch more times than you could count. Law didn’t deserve that. Your captain was a good man, one you loved admired far too much to allow this to weigh him down. He would take your failures to heart, completely discounting the amount of times that he had saved you from having to start anew.

You must have been quiet for too long because Law was speaking again. “Answer me.”

“It’s from a long time ago,” You said.

That was a lie. It was from the previous loop. A quick death by your own hand over the cold corpse of your captain. If Law didn’t survive, there was no point in continuing, and if there was one thing you had grown accustomed to, it was taking your own life after one loss too many. You knew how to make it quick, no suffering. So with a precise hand, you drove your knife into your chest and let the timeline begin anew.

When you saw Law again, whole and alive, you vomited. You were under the impression that he believed that you simply ate some bad seafood, but from the concern that was slowly etching its way onto his features, you weren’t so sure of that now.

“Don’t lie to me.” Law’s eyes flashed, barely contained frustration needling at the corners of him. “None of this makes any sense, half of these injuries should have killed you. The other half would have needed to be treated.”

The truth sat on the tip of your tongue. You felt selfish and needlessly cruel for your desire to tell Law what was really happening. Your eyes burned, and their glassy sheen didn’t go unnoticed. Law handed you a tissue, expression softening.

“I- um.” You hated how your voice cracked. It had been a long time since you told someone about your Devil Fruit. You always died, and they always forgot. For a long time, you thought it was better that way, carrying this weight on your own. The way Law looked at you, though, it made you want to pour your soul out to him. Every pain, every loss, every death lain at his feet, and for once, you could stand unburdened. “It’d be wrong of me to tell you.”

Law’s eyebrows knit together. “Now you’re being stupid.”

“No, I’m not. You’ll regret asking once you know. Don’t pretend like you don’t carry the weight of the world on your shoulders, you don’t deserve my troubles on top of that. It’s better for both of us if you just forget what you saw.”

With that, you stood and made to brush past Law and out of the room. He grabbed you by the shoulder, not allowing you to go any farther. Though his grip was firm, it didn’t hurt. If you really wanted to, you could wrench yourself away from him.

“You’re trembling.”

Your lower lip wobbled, your resolve ebbing away by the second. “It’s complicated.”

“So tell me.” Law’s lips twitched upwards ever so slightly. “Doctor’s orders.”

You let out a small huff. He didn’t deserve this, but there would always be another loop. This current one hadn’t been going so well, and by your estimation, it would take at least three more before you managed to reach your next checkpoint. It wouldn’t hurt to tell Law what he inevitably wouldn’t remember. You steadied yourself with a deep breath and turned to face him, his eyes met yours with a mix of concern and exasperation.

“It’s my Devil Fruit,” You started. Law leaned back on his heels and crossed his arms, attention solely on you. Your heart thundered in your chest. “I’ve died so many times.” Without your permission, your breath hitched. Law’s hand encircled your own with a small squeeze, encouraging you to continue. “It, um, brings me back, I guess. I’ll die, and then wake up in the bunkhouse days earlier, and I’ll be the only one who remembers what happened. All those scars you saw were what killed me in a previous loop.”

He was silent while he chewed on his words.

“How many times have you died since you joined my crew,” Law finally asked.

Your hand was still in his and you gave it a squeeze. “That’s not fair. I know what you’re doing and I won’t let you do it.”

Law’s shoulders slumped as he brought his free hand to pinch the bridge of his nose. “I believe you. It explains a lot. I noticed you cry in your sleep sometimes.”

“You watch me sleep?” The tips of Law’s ears were tinged pink while you laughed.

“I was worried so I checked on you.” With a sigh, he began to lead you out of the clinic to his office. “Come on, you’re telling me everything you can remember. We’re going to come up with a plan.”

Humoring him, you followed close on his heels. It didn’t matter how long or how hard you planned, there was no accounting for the unpredictability of the universe. This comfort wouldn’t last long. Soon, you would be dead again and the cycle would start anew. That didn’t mean you couldn’t enjoy sharing a space with your captain, listening to him meticulously craft tactics to keep you, and everyone else, alive.

It wasn’t until four days later you found yourself breathing, though covered head to toe in blood, with the rest of the crew. Everyone was safe and sound, and Law wouldn’t stop looking at you with a smirk on his face. When you found yourself next to him, he bumped his shoulder against yours.

“I told you my plan would work.”

Just like that, for the first time in your life, you were no longer alone.

[dozing-marshmallow]

HENRY HOTLINE X OPTIMISTIC! READER ONE SHOT

“Oh hello Henry!” you waved,“I’m doing some origami, would you like to join me?”

“No.” yet he still watched over your hands,“What is this anyway?”

“Oh! It’s the art of paper folding that originated in Japan and there are so many shapes you can do!” you explained, putting down the one you were working on to proudly hold up a few that you’ve done recently,“This one is a star, and I made this duck and these rabbits a couple of days ago.” you showcased, now going back to work on the current one, though on the next step, it came out irreversibly wrong.

“Ah, looks like I messed up a step there. I guess I’ll have to restart.” you admitted, scrunching up the paper and discarding it in the bin.

“Too bad you won’t have that option next season.” Henry was very encouraging.

“I know, that’s why I’m going to try make all the mistakes I can.” you agreed, grabbing a new piece of A4 paper,“Though every time I do these things, I always think this is the one.“

“So you purposely set yourself up for such high standards? It must be so devastating when things take a turn away from them.” he assumed pessimistically.

“Not at all. Life goes on and so do I.” you folded diagonal triangles on each side of the paper and unfolded so the dents were perpendicular.

“Not for long.”

“And that’s what makes it more important!” you chirped, folding smaller triangles,“I really thought being in here would crush my spirits. I’m not happy about having grown used to seeing dead people on display, but I guess that’s all part of the motivation. The inflated possibility of death facing me everyday, it...it forces you to acknowledge the delicacy of life. You think you’ll be here long, but no, anything can happen.” more triangles in the centre,“We take for granted even being able to feel.”

In his disagreement, Henry prompted you,“And what if the feeling was agonising?”

You repeated the steps on the other side of the paper, not taking your eyes off,”Every day is a day worth making to. If we really had everything we wanted by the snap of our fingers, would the point of living really exist?”

“You sound like a cartoon.” Henry sneered, grabbing one of the rabbit origami you made and squeezed it in his fist,“And I hate cartoons.”

You saw what he did, but weren’t offended. You could always make another,“That’s okay too. We can’t please everyone, can we?”

Henry stuttered at your response,“How do you find it in you to still be so untroubled?”

You thought for a moment. The minds of human beings were inclined to stay in the bad, mysteriously needing more good to cancel out one bad,“I might have trained myself to. No matter my failures, rejection, I...just think oh well. That’s that. It’s not in my control to worry about. My responsibility is to focus and move on, do better next time. Even if things don’t improve immediately, the fact I take action, is still progress. If I give up now, I’ll truly guarantee nothing.”

“The only thing you’ve guaranteed is death.” sneering, the ruined work in his hand now descended back to the table.

A chuckle falls under your breath,“It may seem that way. Focusing and mourning about mistakes, failures of the past, won’t do anything for me. Yeah, a lot of the past influences my present, but it doesn’t mean it’ll influence my future.” you hummed thoughtfully up to him,“There’s this saying that goes, the temptation to give up is usually right before success.”

“Then I’m assuming you either never had the strong temptation...” he began, now looking into your eyes,“Or you’re simply in the rare unusual.”

“Who’s to say? How much do your dreams mean to you if you gave up at a few setbacks?” you asked, smiling at your progress, adjusting the shape,“Woohoo! That’s the second box done!”

Henry paused,“I forgot we were discussing this filth.”

You frowned,“You’re free to go, you know.” 

“I am, but it’s been so long since I could talk to a contestant, let alone a winner, and they like doing this.” he pointed a sharp finger at the table like it really was unbelievable.

You grabbed the other paper box,“And so what? I could believe the sky is purple and the moon really is made of cheese, does it do anything to you? Does it hurt you or anyone else?”

His wired neck yanked his head back,“It hurts to watch.”

You put the ends of the long rectangular paper through the gaps on top of both of the boxes,“Then that just means you haven’t learnt to appreciate having fun for yourself. When you do, you would find that comments like that don’t mean much.” you replied, rotating the origami from all angles before throwing a fist of victory in the air,“There! I finally finished. You can have this one, Henry.”

He caught it when you tossed it and he examined it.

“From what I’ve heard, origami is typically given as a gift of healing and hope since a plain piece of paper can transform into something beautiful.” you grabbed a new piece of paper, planning on recreating the rabbit one,”At this rate, I’m not sure if I’ll see the day where I reach that, but I’m happy I got to do something.” you grabbed a new piece of paper, planning on recreating the rabbit one,“You can destroy that one if you want,” yet he shoved it in his interior pocket.

[o0o0thorn0o0o]

It’s that time of year again!!!

The amount of times Ibis crashed on me ;~; (still sorting out the storage issues—at a slug’s pace, ‘cause other things be preoccupying my mind), but it was worth it!! I’m very much proud, very much pleased, with how it came out this year if I do say so myself! Ahhh, all that struggling with and “refinding” my art style this year was not for naught!!

I think of my previous years, 2021 is my favorite, but it’s officially been replaced now 😌 I feel so content rn (please don’t let this be a short moodlet, eheh)

That said, I do think I prefer last year’s hands. They were also a pain this time—primarily Yukiko’s right hand…

Anywho, previous versions (+ “base-color” version + a close-up ‘cause why not) under the cut (after some more rambling, eheh):

I was really struggling to start this—I restarted it 3 times essentially—so I’m also really happy with how it came out in that regard. As such (plus the crashes), I’m a wee bit late this year, but only by a few days; I really don’t mind it for once, haha.

I noticed I was going in a certain direction over the years with Yukiko’s hairstyle and the light source, and not the one I intended. Realized that this year, so I fixed those trends:

Tried to make the light source more behind and adjusted it’s position to match with the scene in my head more (though, if I really wanted to be truthful to that, she’d be in one of the other ballgowns I designed for her since she wears this specific one for her first meeting with Gakushuu in this AU, whereas the idea for this scene is supposed to be from when they’re much more familiar with each other later on. But, uh, I like this dress wayyy too much, so let’s just ignore that, haha). I was actually thinking of finally implementing a proper bg this year—even sketched it (mainly for perspective, though)—but I really wanted to just get this done, haha, but also… I didn’t want to deal with more crashes… Perhaps next year… but don’t quote me on that, haha.

As for the hair, the strands that bunch up the rest of Yukiko’s hair—I noticed I was placing them too low. How I imagine her hairstyle to be is that they eventually connect up to her bun (I should definitely sketch a back view concept of this design, mainly so I don’t forget stuff like these, eheh, and to visualize just what in the world is going on… but that’s something distant future me will worry about… if she remembers, of course ^^;). But they’re also supposed the same length as the rest of her hair, so… yeah… I thought this would make her hair less fluffier, which would’ve saddened me, haha, but it didn’t! That said, I have a feeling I’ll possibly make it less voluminous next year… Seems a bit too thick… but idk. I like drawing thick hair, haha.

Oh, also, if you’ll notice: I decided to simplify her underskirt design last year, and… yeah, no, I reverted that change, haha.

Mannn, I am in such a mood to draw more “A Brothers’ Quarrel” stuff/AC Kingdom AU stuff in general (like designing some proper outfits for Gakushuu and Karma finally (they’re the main characters, and Yukiko only appears for a specific part of the AU, yet who do I draw the most…? XD), drawing her horse, Camellia, drawing her in her other dresses, finally getting around to drawing her ladies-in-waiting designs in that other Kingdom AU (just how long ago did I post the traditional sketches of them? Yikes…), etc, etc), but I’ve got too much stuff to get finished before the end of the year. I really need to pick up the pace, eheh.

[lover-of-mine]

https://www.tumblr.com/lover-of-mine/755197579959123968/so-over-the-slow-burn-thing-too-also-the-idea

I firmly believe that all the people who say they want an entire season of buddie pinning and then like season 9 mid for canon buddie just truly don’t understand how long that is. Like I don’t think they understand in tv show format that translates into months upon months of just the same thing episode after episode after episode. Hiatus and breaks. And the fact that mid season 9 is over a year away. It’s not like their ao3 fics where they can just binge through all 70k words of pinning and get to the happy ending in an hour or two. I also don’t think they understand just how fast they will get bored of seeing that play out for so long. After the 3rd or 4th episode of them pinning (so a month of it) they will be begging for it to end. Nevermind watching 8 months of pinning, 3-4 months of hiatus, then another 4ish months of pinning before hitting that season 9 winter break.

I blame streaming format for "slowburns" for that actually. Like, Colin and Penelope from Bridgerton, people wanna call that a slowburn, it took them 20 episodes total to get engaged, but you have whole seasons being put out at once, so you watch the story all at the same time and have to wait a shit ton of time between season, so it feels like a lot of time has passed, but let's face it, you probably watched the whole season in a weekend, so the actual story is not frustrating, but couples that get together in one season feel rushed. Same with JJ and Kiara from outerbanks, it took them 29 episodes to get together, but there's a lot of space between seasons, so a relationship that takes time to develop, it's not just introduced as romantic gets called a slowburn when it's literally just... developing in a decent pace. Wanna know what's episode 20 for buddie? Sink or swim. Episode 29? Seize the day. What's 4 years of "slowburning" in streaming is a season and a half. That's what? A year and a half for us? Mid-season 9 for us is 28 episodes away if we keep the 18-episode format. Which doesn't seem like a lot, but we are getting one episode a week, other things happening to other characters, a mid-season hiatus, a between-season hiatus, stops in the middle of a season. If you experienced a classic procedural network slowburn real-time, Kate and Castle, Bones and Booth, Castle says he loves Kate at the season 3 finale and they keep dancing around getting together after and it's 23 very agonizing episodes waiting week by week for them to stop being idiots. It has been 96 episodes since Eddie has been introduced. It happened 6 years ago. The clock didn't reset all of a sudden when Buck came out as bi, for all intents and purposes we have been waiting for 6 years. I've seen multiple people say getting buddie in season 8 would be instant gratification and no matter how I look at it, I can't see how. I doubt it could realistically happen before 804, so that's at least 100 episodes. It's not like they're gonna drop the whole arc at once and we're gonna watch 10 uninterrupted hours of 911 on a Saturday and see them get together. We have been watching week after week for YEARS, and I will keep watching, but MY GOD, you can't get any slower than we're at right now. Getting them together during 9b is them getting together after February 2026 at best. We don't know if we're gonna get a season 9, the idea of gambling and stalling this when it has been locked and loaded already is just............ At this point, any other classic procedural slowburn had at least kissed one. At this point, it's stalling just to stall. Just get Eddie out of the closet and get them together already, it's been SIX YEARS. It will feel like a slowburn once you watch back. Can we just please stop acting like the show suddenly restarted with the switch the ABC?????????????????????????????

[locatedattycho]

tell me about your hmsonas please?

OH……. OH MY GOODNESS….. GLADLY!!!

so, i rlly rlly like chonnys idea of a being consisting of three parts, the heart, the mind, and the soul. and i have felt like i have my separate identities for soooo long so i made hmsonas of my skrunkles!!! i have very very rough designs that i made awhile ago, so excuse the style. i’m warning you, its going to be lots of info, so ill make a cut for people’s sake 😢 everything under here!! 🎆🌠🌅 ⬇️

this is my heart!!! aka, callisto!! she represents the moon, more importantly jupiter’s moon callisto, “the dead moon”. she is my emotion, love, and passion. she is very very bubbly and crazy, and basically has zero self-control… sometimes she can be a problem. she’s very loving of her sisters, especially jupiter (soul). as you can see, her eyes are dark, this is bc she is partially blind! yet instead of seeing the world in a shaded tone, she sees it in a rose-tinted hue! (little metaphor for always seeing the positive/being too hopeful) (it gets her in rough situations, harming her deeply). when she feels emotion, she feels is HARD. mind often claims she’s dramatic, but mind couldn’t possibly understand hearts ever-changing nature, think of it like the moon in a way! also, she is a doll made by soul, at first she is made out of porcelain and string, which as you can imagine, she breaks very easily when pushed.

this is my mind, aka “io”, she represents the stars! she is my logic, reasoning, and control. and boy does she know control! she is very stern, blunt, yet wise and very philosophical. she is harsh because she cares, but she would rather let heart take over whole instead of tell anyone. if she doesn’t feel secure/in control, she can get forceful, which doesn’t end up anywhere good nor beneficial. she is a robot, also made by soul! she is a lot more stable than heart physically, rarely breaking. but she is known to get viruses and glitches, which she can’t control, they’ve had a past for making her violent. she has star antenna and a cord tail! lil robot things. she ISNT afraid to express her disappointment in heart, even if it causes heart to spiral. but in the end, mind couldn’t be more protective of her sister.

then lastly, we have my soul, aka jupiter!!! (love her sm) she represents the sun, and also jupiter in a way?? she’s kind of like that quote: “jupiter was supposed to be a star but failed”. she is very laidback, silly, happy, and calm. yet her moods can flip when her ids are being difficult, she goes completely numb, loosing her bright glow, burning out completely, like she never had the light inside her to begin with. she is the main one in control of whole (me), being reasonable and mature. she is made of pure energy, not being “created”. her main purpose is to create, art runs through her system, bringing her back to life, she runs on inspiration and passion. she’s well aware of the loops, even having a trident of her own, which she sometimes has to use to restart if a loop gets insolvably bad. she has access to all her pasts loops, like portals in a way, often reflecting on them and plotting on how she can be better the next. also!! you might’ve noticed that like cccc soul, one side of her is shadowed. this represents my ego, which soul has to control to support whole. the ego does help soul make better decisions for wholes path, yet gets in the way of making new decisions and embracing change. and yes she loves her ids more than anything, always appreciating their presence no matter what.

THANK YOY FOR READING THIS SILLY BIG THING!!! im never not thinking of them when making a decision, picturing them deciding and making different points for me. 🩷🩷

[kandisheek]

FIC REC WEEK 22 – MCU

this is the long haul by meidui

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 1,357 Tags: First Dates, Friends to Lovers, Mutual Pining

Summary: It takes them eleven years to go on a first date.

Reasons why I love it: They're SO CUTE, oh my god, I can't! Steve, you oblivious fool, you could've had Tony ages ago! But I'm glad they got there in the end. This fic is wonderful, and I highly encourage you to read it, if you haven't already!

To Punch a Nazi by jellybeanforest

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 767 Tags: Politics, Punching Nazis, Humor and Fluff

Summary: “I can’t believe you punched a Neo-Nazi on national television.” “You’re surprised? I can’t believe there are still Nazis left to punch.”

Reasons why I love it: This absolutely feels like something Steve would do. And Tony's response is so very Tony too, it's great. I love the characterizations in this, the dialogue is hilarious, and the ending put the biggest smile on my face. This fic is fantastic, and I hope you give it a shot!

Haven't Met You Yet by JehBeeEh

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,649 Tags: No Powers AU, Domestic Fluff, In-Vitro-Fertilization

Summary: “Hey sweetheart,” Steve called out tiredly as he toed off his shoes. He heard a small sound that he thought might be hey coming from Tony. He threw his jacket on the chair nearest the door and walked towards his husband, who still hadn’t moved a muscle. He looked at the screen with an expression Steve had never quite seen on him. A mixture between the look of delight he got in the lab, when he was deep in some techy binge Steve did not understand, and a fondness that Steve usually saw directed at him. “Tony? Everything okay?” “Yeah,” he whispered, a smile creeping on his face, eyes still locked on the screen. He stretched a hand towards Steve, some slower version of a one-handed grabby hand directed at him. “Com'ere,” he mumbled, and Steve couldn’t help but smile. Steve sat next to him, Tony's arm curling around his waist to pull him as close as could be to him. He gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before leaning his head against Tony's shoulder, feeling his husband's head drop against his the moment he was settled. “Look at this,” Tony told him as he restarted the video.

Reasons why I love it: You gotta love it when a fic is both entertaining and educational. I don't know a lot about IVF, but after reading this, I definitely want to learn more! This fic just warms my heart, it's so fluffy and sweet, and I hope that Steve and Tony get the happy ending they deserve. Definitely check this one out, it's amazing!

Operation Check Yes or No by avengersandco

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: G Words: 2,797 Tags: Getting Together, Flirting, Fluff and Humor

Summary: Steve just wants Tony to notice him, but he’s not sure how. Lucky for him, his friends help him make a plan to capture the attention of the one he wants.

Reasons why I love it: Gah, they are SO CUTE! I love how the rest of the team despairs at their antics while Steve and Tony remain utterly oblivious. And Steve's methods of flirting with Tony are adorable, I love every single scene. This fic is wonderful, and you should definitely read it!

Last Call by antithestral

Pairing: Steve/Tony Rating: T Words: 1,330 Tags: Fluff and Humor, Alcohol, First Kiss

Summary: “Still,” Steve said softly. “You should let me buy you a drink, one of these days.” Tony glanced up at him, puzzled, tense, trying to figure out what that meant, what Steve meant, trying to look past the thing he… wanted it, so desperately, to mean. “Yeah?” Steve slanted a glance at him, from underneath his lashes. His mouth gleamed from the cognac, shiny and wet, and his eyes were dark, fathomless, stunning. “Yeah.”

Reasons why I love it: Oh my god, I don't know why I find Steve needing some liquid courage to make a move on Tony so goddamn adorable, but I really do. I also love Tony being the responsible adult in all of this, it's a part of his character that I think really doesn't get explored enough, and this version of him is just perfect. I love this fic, and I bet you will too, so please give it a shot!