#i remember this quote being released a couple months ago and never thought it would be charlotte

[branw3lls]

charlotte officiating is making me CRYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! the way she’s looking at her friends. there is so much LOOOOOOOVE at this FAKE WEDDING

[jenotapes]

10 meters away, what now?

pairing | huang renjun x fem!reader

genre | tooth-rotting fluff, best friends to lovers, love alarm au, high school au

word count | 3.3k

warnings | profanity, renjun is a little annoying, reader and renjun have a touchy feely friendship, RENJUN JUST WANTS AN ANSWERRR, sorta making out at the end, mentions of the reader being referred as petite!!

notes | my long awaited part for @aehyei's VALENTINE'S GONE WRONG! collab <3

synopsis | in a world where an application alerts people if someone in the vicinity, within 10 meters, likes them. things had gotten harder for you the day it rose to popularity, as you preferred to keep your crush on your best friend top secret. it doesn’t really help when he starts to pester you about it.

Quote unquote, on a fine Monday morning: and Everyone’s gripped over the newly released application.

You remembered about half a month ago, Park Jisung had come to you over a slight concern he had, sitting on the wooden bench with his antsy hands as the autumn leaves fell around the both of you.

“I’m telling you this first because I trust you.”

You thought it was kind of silly, and stupid. Actually, it was a little nonsensical, maybe a lot. He thought it was a good idea to entrust you with ‘confidential’ information, telling you that he was nearly done programming this app project titled Love Alarm— in the result of a final harsh rejection, he decided to show the world that there was no need to wait for a yes or a no, and to let the mooning tension consume you with the never-ending questions to whether or not your crush likes you back.

That very decision was made right after the both of you met up. He had a way different plan before that, to be frank, wanting to program Love Alarm only for himself and his crush, Lee Dongsook— it seemed to him that it would be more romantic that way, albeit you barely understood why.

It seemed as if he wanted to give her a new smartphone as well, sneaking with the app already installed. But of course, plans never go the way it’s supposed to be and it ends up on the downhill road, leaving poor Jisung to be ever so heartbroken. So instead, he gave it to you, you were one of his closest friends after all.

But then again, you were left with an extra phone.

What the hell do you do with an extra phone?

-

A week after the app’s launch, its ratings had unexpectedly soared and before you knew it, you’d be walking to school with plenty of aggravating ringing through the busy hallways. You could really use some ear swabs right now.

By showing the world, you weren’t expecting it to be like this. You thought he was going to have some extreme makeover, gain some muscle and show Dongsook what she’s been missing out on; even though he looks completely fine, and maybe she just turned a blind eye. He’s finally putting his nickname dubbed ‘the coding genius’ to work but proclaimed ‘world record for most bitches’? Not so much.

Sure, you’d be complimenting his developing skills, after all, he is still a high school student— maybe you don’t know how entirely accurate the app is itself, but for a reminder: you still had an extra phone in your hands and you were no doubt on edge.

With the app already installed, maybe you could pick up the pace and try it out. Excuses and excuses, you just had a habit of going onto compatibility websites, maybe taking love and relationship Buzzfeed quizzes along with keeping an eye on the spicy couple gossip surrounding the school (who doesn’t?).

To add on, an avid romance lover who is, indeed, a hopeless romantic.

A little curiosity isn’t going to hurt anybody, right?

You sat on a bench that was set in the middle of the school’s open area, taking out the navy blue box that was wrapped around with a pearl white ribbon. Carefully pulling the ends and gently opening the cover of the box— the familiar blue and pink gradient of the app immediately appeared.

Do I just press it?

It was sort of terrifying, what if someone did like you? There were tons of people near your vicinity and something unexpected might happen. May it be a stranger or a close friend, that just so happens to pass by and ring your alarm.

A delicate touch on the screen was all it took to have it already ringing, scanning people within 10 meters of your vicinity that were currently using the app as well. It was like pretty much yearning for a high grade, though what would an app decide for you anyway?

Even with the ringing, you heard the faint beep.

One?

Looking at the number made you turn around, obviously to see and pick out who was in your surroundings. And of course, fate does an entire 360 degree. You were sort of hoping for it, but at a time like this— maybe you wished it wouldn’t have happened.

Renjun? Renjun. Not to exaggerate anything, but he was nothing short but the man of your dreams. He was your best friend in fact, and you couldn’t help but fall head over heels for him. I mean, come on. Who wouldn’t fall for him? That delicate, sweet look, an absolute gentleman, he isn’t fickle for shit and he’s got everything to fall for.

He just had to be there.

Then again, there were seven other people around you. Random guy, another random person, Jaemin, another random girl… and Renjun. You didn’t really recognize anyone besides the two you mentioned, possibly you’ve seen one of them in an old class before.

Your heart easily skips a beat from the thought of Renjun ringing your alarm, immediately turning your view away from him as you bring the phone close to your chest out of pure worry. Sure, you liked him, maybe so much to the point where all you’ve done on your little love percentage website hunts— was just to name the both of you. Results, you dare not say.

That’s because of the ‘don’t date best friends, don’t ruin friendships’ policy. You didn’t really care but then again, how were you going to face him if things were actually so much more different than they were? Worst case scenario, you idiotically confront him, he rejects you, things become awkward, and then it leads to the end of a long-time friendship.

Cardinal rule number one: do not confront him about your feelings, don’t even express anything.

You felt so stupid, mooning over him like a lovesick high school teenager. The only thing you could really do was to keep your lips zipped, pretend this never happened, and keep this phone safe in your hands.

–

“Have you downloaded Love Alarm?”

“Nope, not too interested. Why?”

Your response appeared cool, great. But you don’t realize the sort of dispirited expression that was sitting so prolonged on his face. You don’t know whether you should play cliche and avoid him but then again, knowing Renjun remarkably well, a straightforward question ushers to the inevitable start of cat and mouse. You don’t know if he’s just that of an observer, or it’s because you’ve been best friends since the start of your untold chocolate milk incident; the vending machine coincidentally dispensing two of the cartons at the same time Renjun came near to get a drink.

Right now, instead of two cartons of chocolate milk— he’s waiting for your phone.

“Why’d you ask?”

“I’ve gotten like, five people.” He’s awfully stern today, and that’s because he’s hoping for an answer from you. “Wow, I’m friends with a chick magnet.” A scoff leaves your lips, and he stares at the screen before putting it in his pocket. There’s a brooding look on his face, and it looks as if he wants to tell you something crucial— while trying to put two to two together.

“Pfft, chick magnet my ass. Have you seen Jaemin? He’s gotten at least twenty.”

“Twenty? Holy shit, that’s like— half a class.” Your jaw was slack, eyebrows raised as you lean your back on the chair. “Wishing my five was more than that.”

By more than that, you don’t realize he exactly means one person and not more than the number of secret admirers Jaemin had. He wants his five to add to a six, not a thirty-five nor a thirty-one. He wants that sixth person, to be you in fact.

And that’s the only probable reason why he’s looking at you so expectedly, he’s asking you because he had presumed you were one of the five people within his 10 meter vicinity— but he assumed you were not, unaware you were sitting on a bench right behind him that morning. He was so nonplused on why he was oddly eager to get a response from you, and by the looks of your shifting eyes, and reluctance to download an app, there was something you were hiding from him.

After all, you’re the Y/N he knows that loved to go on relationship percentage websites to see how compatible you were with different people in school (unaware it’s just Renjun’s name you were putting actually), always keeping tabs on the spicy couple schemes that get tangled in the school’s gossip blog, a hopeless romantic, and favorite movies entirely being just romance and it’s wide variety of subgenres.

Sounds familiar right? He loves catching details.

So he’s wondering why an app gets you less interested than a similar stupid bot-generating website. You told him yourself that a student here programmed it, right? Bot or not, what really was the difference?

He doesn’t want to sound crazy, but he thinks you like him.

And he definitely isn’t wrong.

In fact, he isn’t wrong at all.

If the two of you were on a dating reality show, you’d totally hit it off at first sight, as quoted by a Buzzfeed quiz you took the other day, and it totally hasn’t been in your mind since.

Actually, it totally has.

You choose to ignore his more-than-five comment, clearing your throat while tapping slightly on the table. “I’ll just stick with my websites.” You sigh, earning a raised brow from the latter in front of you. “But, this is real, isn’t it?”

A little taken aback by his reply, you tilt your head. “Yeah, why? Got your eye on someone?”

Playing fire with fire, he decides to take up a bold response. “I do.”

Renjun has never wanted to hit himself so hard in the face, it was a straightforward response but he swore he had an intuition that he’d be giving out a more indirect answer, something like ‘i don’t know, maybe i do’ because he reckons things like this would rile you up— but he pushes himself to another route.  Luckily his flushed cheeks weren’t too noticeable, “W..what about you?”

“Yeah, I do.”

Were you going to say it?

Should you be forward?

“Six letters, there’s a J in their name.” Your voice stumbles more than intended.

You’d expect him to immediately get the hint, but for some reason he’s absolutely clueless— dumber than a brick. “Joohee?” You shook your head. “Jisung?” Again, no. “Jaehyun?”

“That’s seven, hasn’t he already graduated?”

He’s thinking hard, and it should’ve been easy to piece— and you were somewhat ready to tell him, you’ve concluded that Renjun wouldn’t let go of your friendship so easily, at least that’s what you were hoping.

“...Jaemin?”

Just before you opened your mouth to say anything, the teacher already made her way in. Looking at your expression, Renjun is already set to a muddle. Why was he even thinking so hard about this in the first place? “Later.” You whisper, leaving the latter to glance at the teacher before a sigh leaves his lips.

“But–” Before he can finish his sentence, you abruptly stand up from your seat to sit on your own. It’s not like he’s overanalyzing your current movement, but he feels a little dubious. Is it Jaemin?

While Renjun was busy probing, you had realized the conversation was going nowhere. He’s always so dense when it comes to the answer being all about him, and maybe that hint was enough to get it festering into his brain for a day or two. You speak without thinking and this is the outcome of it, and now you’re back to square one: avoid him, you know desperate times call for desperate measures.

-

Renjun’s a little mixed up over the situation, over sixes and sevens how you were suddenly averting his every move and avoiding him. Maybe he beat around the bush too much, and you probably didn’t want to tell him anything of the sort. He feels a little shitty, but then again he was curious on why you were so reluctant. Was it really Jaemin that you liked?

Call him crazy, but Renjun doesn’t realize these are the effects of falling in love. He’s yet to know, and he’s yet to piece that your beloved crush is indeed, him. Huang Renjun.

You reach home completely exhausted, and not to mention, guilty that you’d be steering clear from him. What if he thinks you hated him? Maybe you did, to be honest. He makes you feel so corny inside— it’s insane. Falling in love makes you feel like a different person, and it’s hurting all of you for no reason.

You plop yourself on the bed, staring at the ceiling of your room before questioning your life choices. Then again, there’s always that familiar notification ring that whips you into shape.

renjeon <3: hey

renjeon <3: you okay?

No, you definitely weren’t, it’s only been a day and now you were putting up the face of utter guilt. You take up the courage to type something, but quickly delete the message after—- licking your lips in anticipation as you shut your phone. At that moment, you feel your shoulders droop as you hug your pillow tight, burying your face into the soft cushion to let out a muffled scream. You were kicking your feet in the air and you felt like a complete idiot.

Hours and hours of tuition and art school were enough to get you weary, let alone the thoughts that were eating you up inside and out and feeling as if you mislead him and might have unintentionally ravaged your relationship with Renjun in some way. It was late at night and all you wanted was to sleep this night away and hope it all ends up magically well tomorrow, and that the misunderstandings would be quickly explained to.

renjeon <3: is smth bothering u?

You immediately glimpse at his notification, sucking your teeth as you had just decided that you were giving up right here, right now. Taking the phone in your hands, you type what you had forerun to text him just now.

you: meet me at eunhaeng children’s park, the bench near the playground

you: 8:47

The latter never dare to leave you on seen, quickly replying a short ‘okay’ as you mutter curses under your breath.

Now you were panicking on what to wear, fuck.

-

Renjun immediately grabs his dangling keys along with his phone, who cares if his hair was disheveled to oblivion— and that he was still in his sleepwear? No one would stare, but I’m afraid the Pikachu socks were a little out of pocket.

He kisses his mother goodbye, leaving her a little confused as he quickly runs out the door to ride his bike to the children’s park. It was about 5 minutes away at least, the latter cycling his way out, late at night, just to hear what you had to say. And he still hasn’t realized anything?

He’s panting, and he’s tired, moving his legs to quickly get to you.

And luckily, he’s managed to reach his destination in a matter of 5 minutes. Seeing your petite figure, huddled up on the bench as he swallows his throat.

The moment he arrives, your face lights up— giving him a small smile as he settles his bike near the tree trunk, walking up to you with his face all flustered. “5 minutes? Here I thought you’d take at least 9.” You laugh, getting a monotonous look from him in return. “Sorry.”

A quick scoff leaves his lips, sitting next to you. “What is it that you want to talk about?”

Your eyelashes flutter at his question, swallowing the lump in your throat as silence follows through the air. He was looking at you expectedly, your hand reaching deep in your pocket to take out a familiar phone.

It wasn’t familiar to Renjun at all, in fact— he’s never seen it once in his life. But it was familiar to you, in all means— it’s the phone Jisung gave you.

You lock eyes with him, your lips slightly curved as you fumbled with the gadget in your hand. “Love Alarm.”

“What?”

“Open it.”

Your voices were close to gentle whispers, accompanied by the noise of crickets and the somewhat chilly air. Renjun’s eyes blink as you tell him to enter the app, and as the familiar screen pops up— he glances at you. He feels as if your eyes were telling him to press it, and he does. You press it too.

It’s the familiar ringing.

Instead of a thousand rings at a time, it’s just two.

And instead of zeroes, there were ones.

Your eyes widened in shock, and not to mention— Renjun seemed stunned by the result.

“It was you?” The two of you said in unison.

Renjun was the person who had rung your alarm amongst the seven people, and you were among the five.

The two of you could only stare at each other, it wasn’t tense nor was it awkward— rather it was taking it in what they had just witnessed, trying to put two and two together. “Holy fuck, six letters, R in his name. Renjun,  fuck! Renjun.” The latter abruptly says, bringing a palm to his forehead as you let out a laugh. “You’re so stupid, you know that?”

“I never thought it’d be me.”

“In denial?”

Bingo, he was definitely in denial. To him, you were like a goddess and he was like a fool, there was no way you would find any interest in him anyway. You click your tongue as he starts to ponder, bringing your soft hands to cup his face.

“You don’t understand. You..”

His face melts in your touch, and suddenly everything in him falls light like a feather. Nothing comes crashing down, and no thunderstorm to ruin the day, everything was like feathers falling. “I..?” He raises his brows.

“You… I like you.” You smile.

God, that was all he wanted, let alone— needed to hear.

He gently holds your wrists to settle them on his lap, shooting heart eyes as his idiotic smile was uncontainable, he couldn’t hold it. All he needed, was for you to confess to him right then and there. Sure, he should have made the first move— but you made it first before he did, and it reassures him in some way.

“I like you more.” Finally, an ear-to-ear smile forms on his pink lips.

He was firmly holding your cold hands, not too tight but it was enough to tell you not to pull away and stay with him, at this moment.

“So does this mean were…dating?” You cut to the chase, giving him your sheepish smile as he lets out a wholehearted chuckle. “Of course, idiot.”

“Says you.”

The two of you share a laugh, and as it fades, Renjun glances at your eyes— slowly bringing his hand to cup your cheek as he raises a brow to get your approval.

His little gesture left a smile on your face, immediately pulling him into a soft kiss as the two of you melt in each other’s arms. His hands begin to gently intertwine with your yours, and it slowly became a more passionate kiss. His pecks were gentle, barely rough and the way he leaned in was enough to tell he was a good kisser.

Your connected, intertwined hands sent your beating heart into a palpitation, his thumb slowly caressing your cheek as he never fails to make you the giddiest person alive. As a hopeless romantic, you set your ideals beside— as this was much better than what you desired. Begin a hectic day, follow with your sentiments let out, and sweet canoodling to end the night.

It’s always good to solve things, maybe avoid kissing at a children’s park if you sort things out.

Well, rest assured, the two of you walked into school hand in hand.

do not translate or copy © jenotapes 2022

[oppatxtme]

Christian Yu: Half Moon

x Christian Yu x

Note: Read at Your Own Risk ~~ (ง⌐□ل͜□)ง Type: One Shot [ masterlist ]

A/N: Hope Y’all enjoy this! Happy halloween ♥

_______________

‘This is insane. I am insane and stupid.’ Christian thought as he walked up the steps to your apartment.

He had been to your apartment at Hongdae a couple of times with the rest of the crew. But this is the first time going solo. At that moment, Christian was surprisingly nervous. He was rarely nervous. Maybe it was because besides the fact that he’s coming to your apartment alone — it is also in the middle of the night. Plus drunk. And his body is burning and want to release it to you.

‘Well, here I go.’ Christian thought as he gulped and ring the doorbell.

————

You slowly opened your eyes when you hear your doorbell chimes. When you realize you’re not dreaming and someone is actually ringing your door, you looked at the time. You groans.

You grab your pajama. Since you’re only wearing is your oversize shirt.

Before you can go and check who it was. Lisa — your roommate, was already at the monitor dedicated to seeing who’s at your front door.

“Who was it, babe?” You asked her when she looked your way.

“It’s your ex-boyfriend.” She said with a grimace expression.

For some reason, you breathed a sigh of relief. At least it wasn’t some crazy old stalker.

“Which one are we talking about?” From fear, you’re now confused.

“Mr. Christian Yu, that guy who loves touching his hair.” She said with a teasing tone.

“Aye ~! Nice to see you too Lisa.” Christian said as he reached up and touched his hair. 

Lisa just smiled and walked back towards her room.

Now it was only you and Christian in the living room. Why was Christian here? And at 3 in the morning. Can you even call this morning?

You took a rather long breath to stop overthinking.

———

Christian looked at you from up and down. Again and again. Now that you’re in front of him, he was thinking that this is a mistake. A drunk decision has gone too far. But it was too late to turn back.

‘Fuck it,’ he thought. He was drunk. He was going to tell you how he felt, not let you slip away — again. He needed you to know.

“Do you want anything to drink?” You asked when he massaged his temple.

“Oh? Yeah, sorry.” Christian replied.

You walked towards the kitchen and grab some glass and poured some cold water for him.

Christian was looking at your back. You can feel it.

After he finished drinking, you invite him to your room. Thinking that whatever reason he came to your apartment — at this godly hour is not really good for Lisa to hear.

Like automatically sit at the edge of your bed. But quickly stood up. You became nervous and embarrassed for even sitting in the first place. It was supposed to be cute and casual. Like friends typically do it but you were sure it came off as uncaring and cold. And the truth was, Christian, didn’t even notice it.

Both of you stood there awkwardly for a few minutes before Christian took a deep breath in, preparing to speak.

You can see him being uncomfortable. ‘Is it wrong to invite him into my room?’ You asked your self.

You’re about to ask him but he looked at you as if he was about to say something so you stopped.

Silence.

Again, awkward.

Then both of you attempt talking first but ending up blabbering something.

You laughed. Then he joined you.

“I’m sorry Ian, what I’m trying to say is it’s good to see you... although this was certainly a surprise.”

“Yeah, I know. I'm sorry about that. I just — I couldn’t wait.” Christian looked down at the carpet

“What is that couldn’t wait?” You go through your mind looking up what could it be. You tried not to, but you ended up settling on the biggest feared — insane reasons. This was a habit you had picked up growing up. ‘Think for the worst’.

“I remembered in one of your interviews, you quoted from your favorite song — ‘If you know how you feel ~ and you so clearly know what you need to say ~ I don’t think you should wait ~ I think you should speak now ~’ you said that and it got me thinking. It’s really important to take those words to heart. So I just — I needed to come here to say something I should have said a long time ago.

You smiled upon hearing him say the lyrics from your favorite song. You tried not to wince, anticipating what might be next. 

“Say what Ian? Christian, is there something wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong Y/N. I just — oh God! Okay ~ I’m READY.” Christian blurted out.

“What?” For some reason, your stomach filled with butterflies. 

‘Ready’. The word meant a lot to both of you. Both of you had a long history with this word. There was a time when you would have killed to hear him say it.

‘I’M READY’. Now though, it was the biggest fear reasons you could think of.

“I’m ready, Y/N. I’m ready for this — for us. We broke up because I wasn’t ready. But I’m ready now. And I don’t just mean ready for us to talk. Hang out. And fool around... but I mean — I’m ready for us to be together-together. The hell with media! I’m ready for the fans on both sides and their options don’t bother me. They can say whatever they want to say — I’m ready for all that shit. I can handle it now, Y/N. I’ve got this. I needed you to know that I’m not messing around any longer and as I just said — I’m sorry if I kept saying this but I’m ready.” Christian didn’t look up once during he said this, for some reason he couldn’t watch you react. He was afraid that seeing your reaction could make him stop talking. And he wanted to get it all out.

But even so, he could feel you looked confused with a mix of frustration.

“And more than that,’ Christian continued. “I want to try again. I want us to really try again, now that I’m ready. I think we could really make it. I’m ready to make that shot for us.” There. He said it all. He finally looked up to see your face.

“Christian —“ you started. You stopped though. You really had to form these next sentences carefully, and Christian had his time. You can’t help but think it was unfair and insensitive of him to just go to your place at 3 am and say all these things that clearly he had time to craft these words. He didn’t even look at you when saying this. As if it was all as planned — memories for perfection. 

You can’t help but think as well that he might even think through your possible responses and rehearse how to react to each one. You had none of that. No warning, none at all.

Just an unexpected late-night drunken declaration of love. Just great.

“You’re drunk, Ian and —“ you sigh.

“No. I mean, I’m drunk - but I meant what I say. All of it. Please, Y/N.” He cut you off.

With that, your ears become hot. What does he expect you to do? The nerve to come in here at your apartment and feed you a declaration of love — and even a declaration of READINESS as if the love was just implied but didn’t even need to be stated.

At least a little courtesy you’ll appreciate but no. He even goes here drunk. And say ‘please’.

‘Who did he think he was?’ You thought arching your brow.

“Excuse you Christian. Don’t bring me that ‘please’ word. I am doing the best I can with this whole situation but you’re drunk as fvck. And it’s the middle of the night. I’m not sure THIS is the best time and place to talk about this.” You said firmly.

“Why not? It’s 3 AM, the hour of feeling. Isn’t that what we call it?”

“Yeah, and I think about now, it taught us nothing good happens after 3 AM. Maybe we should stop talking at all.” Your words fell harshly. You felt bad for it but it also felt appropriate somehow.

“Who are you?”

“Seriously?!” You said setting up your defensive self ready.

“You used to be so ~” Christian searched for the words. “FREE. Yeah. That’s it. You used to be free. Free with your emotions. Your life. Your love. You used to be so free that made you optimistic. Full of hope and now what? You believe that in the hour of emotion — nothing ‘good’ happens? After the emotional time of the night sets in, good things stop and bad things begin? Is that what are you saying?” Christian looked at you as if you’re some stranger. “What happened to you?”

“I don’t — I really don’t know Ian. I”m not that girl anymore.” You felt attacked. But you didn’t feel like fighting back. So, you took the defeated tone.

Christian was having none of it. He was going to fight with you. He came all this way, he was going to properly be heard.

“Well, that’s the girl I fell in love with.” He said.

“Too bad then. I guess I’m just somebody that you used to know.” Your sarcasm rises.

“No. She’s there somewhere.” Christian said while he shook his head.

“I said no!” You now realized that he was going to make you fight with him. Your anger was possibly more directed at the instance of fighting than the fight itself.

“No.” Christian stayed firm. “I don’t accept that. Maybe you think that — but I think you’re just scared.”

You can’t help by scoffed.

“You can scoff all you want, Y/N. But I know you. There’s something you’re not saying. Possibly even to yourself. You’re scared and you’re hiding behind the change as the reason. But it was never changed. There’s a part of you missing. And I mean a part of you. We all have parts about us that change. That mature. That grow up. But at our core. Deep inside. We are who we are. You are not a different person. You’re still Y/N that I love. You’re just letting fear run your life and it’s BS!”

You are now really pissed.

“So... that’s what you came here to say. You came to my apartment. Drunk. In the middle of the night. Scared me half to death. Just to say that I’m bullshit?!”

“Fuck this. You know that’s not fucking true. You’re doing that thing again. You’re doing that again. Fuck!” Christian ball up his fist.

“What thing that I do? I’m not doing anything, Ian.” Both of you were really in it now.

After 3years of being in a relationship. Both of you were on and off. Five months ago, both of you decided to call it quits. Mainly because it was affecting your careers. He was planning on coming back to the music scene. While you and your group are releasing a comeback.

“Oh stop it Y/N. You know what I’m talking about. Look —“ Christian sigh. “I came here to tell you that I was ready for us and I still love you. That I want us to be together again. You were the one who started the BS and deflecting. Trying to pretend I didn’t mean it. You hate emotion and all that shit. I just wanted to tell you I still care and that I’m ready. And that I want to try again. If you don’t want to.” He paused and looked at you directly. “All you have to do is fvcking say it. But this shit you’re doing is making it some big ass thing and ignoring what I’ve actually said. That’s you being childish. I’m over it Y/N.”

Both of you were silent for a moment.

Letting the words sinks in.

You feel being scolded like a child. And Christian feeling sad and freaking frustrated — like a parent who just wants the best for his child. Even though the child never listened to him.

“I think that’s how I realized I’m ready. I’m over and done with the shit thing. I just want you. All of you.” He continued.

You stopped breathing for a couple of seconds. Your lips trembled. Your eyes watered. Your thoughts raced. You felt your breathing shallow the becoming quicker and more audible with every in and out of air.

You felt your heartbeat hard. As if it wants to come out from your body.

You glanced up and saw the bathroom door.

It wasn’t far from where you stand. For you, it looked as if it was an escape. You stopped thinking and in one motion you ran into the bathroom. Shut the door. There, in the emptiness of the room. Behind the safety of the door. You broke down.

Tears began to escape your eyes. Light scratches and pulls at your delicate skin began to occupy your hands.

“Y/N?” Christian was really worried. He didn’t mean to make you cry — even worst, leading you to a breakdown. He just wanted to talk. He can’t help but hate himself for what he has done. “Y/N, I’m sorry. If this is too much... but I really needed to say it. I hoped you’d know why. But yeah.”

He stopped and waiting for your answer. He heard you crying still. Breaths became deeper — as if returning to normal. He didn’t want to push it. But he was still a bit drunk. Decision-making skills were not so much his strong suit at that moment.

“I also wanted to hear your response.” Christian paused for a moment to make sure you did not get worse. You stayed silent. “I just really want us to talk — really. Without the bullshit and the walls. What are you scared of Y/N?”

You slowly get up and walk towards the sink. You looked into the mirror. You saw your reflection. A mess. Bedhead. Faded oversize shirt. Mickey mouse pajama that was a gift from Jisoo. No makeup. Eyes puffy. Cheeks shiny from the tears.

You rarely saw yourself like this. Being carried by your emotions. Even when you were at home, you tried to do your makeup, practice doing your hair, and dress up nice — just in case some crazy ex-boyfriend comes by and declare some shit at you.

You wet your face. Grab the face towel and calm yourself. Then walk towards the door and opened it.

“Do you want to know what I’m scared of, Barom Yoo?” You said, eyes locking with his. Not wavering.

He nodded in affirmation.

“I’m scared because you’re not.” You said firmly. Letting her eyes break from Christian’s.

“I’m not what?” Christian’s voice was calm. And confuse.

“Not ready.” You said quietly. Looking at the floor. You didn’t want to look at him when the words fell out of your lips. It was too much.

Christian smirked.

“Of course I’m ready. That’s why I’m here Y/N. That’s what I’ve been trying to tell you. I understand all of that ready means — every last bit of it. I mean it. I am ready.” Christian felt his enthusiasm grow. If this was the problem — he wants to clear it. He did — after all, mean it.

You calmly shook your head.

His smirked slowly fade. His face becomes confused. He closed his eyes and shook his head.

‘Of course’. Christian thought. “But you’re not.” Christian opened his eyes and looked at you. He felt every muscle in his body relaxed — as if the secret was out.

“That’s crazy Christian. I’ve been ready. It was you —“

“No, Y/N. Stop right there. It was me, and then it was both of us. And now. It was you. It doesn’t mean anything less about you. It just means you’re not ready. And it’s a lot to be ready for. Trust me. I get it. Totally get it.”

You bit your lower lip and swallowed. You tried searching for words. But all you could find was silence. Angry. Sad. Frustrated.

“If there was anyone to be the last person to judge you for not being ready, it’d be me.” Christian continued after what felt like a silence gone on a little too long.

You blinked slowly. Your body language intensifying.

“And I mean really, you owe it to yourself more than anyone to admit that, princess.” He continued.

And there it was. You broke. Again. Into tears. In front of Christian. No more hiding.

“Okay fine.” You said between tears. “I’m not ready.” You tried looking up at him. He tried not to give you that satisfied smile of his when he called you out and kinda forced you to open up. “I’ve tried. But I’m not. You went through a lot Christian. All because of me. But I got the brunt of the hate from the fans.”

“I know,” Christian whispered.

“I don’t know if I can do that again.” Your tried hiding your crying face at him by covering it with both hands. “I can’t”.

Christian’s face was fallen. His smile faded and a look of concern had crept. Regardless of what happened here tonight between the both of you. He hated seeing you this down. But if it wasn’t him, he couldn’t help her.

“If I was going to do it again. You know it’d be with you, Barom. Right?” You looked up at him. “I mean it when I said ‘I know for me, it’s always you’. If I was ready for anyone — it had to be you, Christian.”

Christian took every word to heart. He let an audible exhale escape his body.

“I know, Princess.” He walked over to you and took you in his arms. He could see how badly you needed to be held. “I know very well, Y/N. I know.” He said reassuringly — softly. Running his hand up and down your back.

After a few minutes of this. You felt too comfortable. Too happy. Too at peace to not try something. Nothing wasn’t good enough anymore.

“Christian?” You said pulling out of the hug.

“Hmmm?” He responded, looking at you.

You pause for a moment before continuing. Trying to gain footing before you went down that rabbit hole.

“What if I —“ you stopped. Unsure if you really wanted to continue.

Christian opened his eyes wider in anticipation of what you’ll say. You somehow saw a gleam. that gleam. His beautiful brown eyes did this thing. It was mesmerizing and captivating to you.

“What if I take some time and really think about it. Like, do the work. Fight with myself — what if I get myself ready?” You smiled softly at him.

“What if what?” Christian tried his best not to be too excited. Or rather - seem too excited. He didn’t want to spook you, like what he already did tonight.

“Would you wait?” You had high hopes and low expectations. It was unfair of you to ask him. He couldn’t tell the future and know he was going to be ready when you are. You knew all of this. But you felt like you had to ask. Because what if Christian said ‘yes’. What if he would actually wait for you?

“Yes. Absolutely.” Christian said without a single waver. “I will wait for you. And I’ll try to stay ready so I am when you are. When I say I’m ready right now— I mean I’m ready for that too. I’ll wait.” He was suddenly taken with the over-assured, leading to an air of insincerity about his words.

“Thank you.” You said softly.

“Always, Y/N”. Christian whispered in your ears as he hugged you again. Pulling you tight.

——

Christian left quickly and quietly. You insisted on staying for the night but he insists to go and make everyone else worry.

When he left. You sat alone in your room and looked around. You grabbed your journal. You wrong every word (lyrics) you could think of.

[macgyverseries]

rebutting and debunking frequently used arguments against macriley

I made this 10-page google doc rant a while ago, but I never ended up posting it. Today, however, I woke up and chose violence. So here it is: my thoughts on frequently used arguments against macriley.

I took some quotes and arguments that people put online (reddit, tumblr..), and I debunked them all :p I feel like I always see the same arguments all the time, and I’m honestly getting a little tired of hearing them. I’m here to settle this once and for all.

and yes, i did manage to cut down the google doc by 3 pages :D (but it's still long af so rip my brain)

1.”Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father”

I can (mostly) get behind the argument that Mac and Riley shouldn’t be in a romantic relationship because of their super strong friendship. Some people really value that sole platonicness, and I get that.

But the argument that I can’t get behind is that: Mac and Riley are siblings because Jack is their father figure”

If you google the definition of “father,” the first result that comes up is: “a man in relation to his children.”

Now, Jack was definitely the father figure to Riley, and I would consider her his child. He raised her. He helped shape her ideals and upbringing.

Mac only met Jack when he left MIT. So it was pretty much after Mac was raised (by Bozer’s parents haha), that Jack really came into his life. Mac already became his own person. (also, I always saw Mac and Jack as more of a bromance)

So because Riley and Mac met Jack at different periods of their lives, and they were raised differently, I wouldn’t say that they were siblings who were raised by the same father.

2. “The show writers left the impression that there was a huge age gap between them”

I understand this a little. I do think Riley was introduced as pretty young and idk naive? Because she was literally in highschool, and then she went to prison, and then she got released into the wild. Personally, when I started watching the show, I googled the whole cast. So I started the show knowing that they were the same age.

And also, the more I got to know Riley, the more that I thought that Riley was more mature and had an old soul herself. I think it was because she was just a dynamic and round character, who is well-developed.

But, I get first impressions. I feel like once you get stuck on an impression, it’s hard to go away from that.

Also, Jack would’ve totally shipped macriley, and you can’t change my mind.

3. "Riley isn't ready for a relationship"

I honestly think that this argument should be more geared towards Mac. He needs to figure himself out and go to therapy ffs. However, this person targeted Riley (the literal queen), so I shall defend her:

I understand wanting Riley to take some time off, and figure herself out before going straight into another relationship with someone. But here’s the thing. Throughout the first few seasons Riley’s character was very well established, and she didn’t have any partners during that time. She has proven that she is a strong, well-rounded, independent woman (with or without a partner). So i think it is valid to say that she isn’t just some girl who only has boy toys. She is much more than that.

My next point is that Riley has made it clear that she wants a lasting relationship with someone who will support her. When talking with Mac in 4.04, we see her express her interest in a stable, healthy relationship. It’s not wrong to go out and look for that potential partner. This applies to everyone (not just fictional characters): It’s going to take a few relationships and self-discovery, to find a good relationship, and people shouldn’t be shamed for searching for that.

Riley has only ever had two major boyfriends that I remember. First was Billy; she took that relationship very seriously. She really did seem happy with him. It was a shame that he cheated on her. Second was Aubrey. She also took that relationship very seriously. She had been living with him for six months (and they even had the cutest date nights!) So I wouldn't say that Riley only has boy toys. She has meaningful relationships.

Lastly, I think this was written when season four started airing, but it’s been over a year (and a pandemic) since Riley has dated. I think enough time has passed.

*4. I had to split this one up because, oh boy, there is a lot to unpack here.

4a. “If that was the direction they’d chosen to take with that relationship from square one… My issue with it is that Mac and Riley were presented to us as friends/ found siblings for three years. There were NO romantic vibes to speak of between them..”

I actually felt the same way about macriley. The thought of them being together in season one, made me want to throw up. I don’t think the writers intended on having macriley, and I was perfectly fine with that.

I know that people look for different things when they ship. Some really like having instant gratification with the spicy, hot, sexy parts of a relationship, like macdesi (which is why I was fine with the idea of shipping macdesi in the past).

I always wanted to see macriley do more: have hot, flirtatious banters/interactions. it can be hard to ship people who seem to be missing that part of the love equation. So i agree. It's definitely strange. And I understand if you genuinely have a hard time seeing the romantic potential of macriley, when the writers have only dragged out and shown us the platonic potential of them.

Also, the reason why it is difficult to see macriley as romantic, was because they ALWAYS PRIORITIZED AND WERE DRIVEN on their friendship. A partner should be friends first, and then makeout buddies second.

But just because people start off as friends, doesn’t mean that they still don’t have that potential to be lovers. Because guess what?! Feelings change. It’s now canon that Riley has feelings for Mac, and Mac always had feelings for Riley (but never acted on it).

I'm sorry, but you like a boomer when you say “bAcK iN mY dAy, tHeY dIdN’t HaVe fEeLiNgS fOr EaCh oThEr.” like okaAAAyyYYyYY????? We are not “back in your day” anymore. We are in the present. We are in today. And today, macriley is real :)

4b. “There’s the incredibly tired trope where long-term coworkers suddenly catch feelings for each other out of nowhere”

Personally, I will never get tired of the friends to lovers trope. I think the fact that Mac and Riley had such a strong friendship and foundation is what makes them perfect. Again, I know that some people just like instant gratification, but I love when a couple can take their time to have depth, emotion, and realness in their relationship.

Obviously I am biased because I have so much love for this trope, it's my favorite trope, but I don't see why you would use the “it’s overused” as reasoning to hate a ship. Just because a trope is used a lot, doesn’t mean it is bad (that’s probably why it is so good lmao). I can understand getting tired of it, and growing a dislike towards a trope. For example, I have grown an extreme dislike towards the love triangle.

A bit of a tangent: But the difference between overusing love triangles and overusing friends to lovers, is that love triangles aren’t just commonly used tropes. They are cliches. They cause unwanted drama and unnecessary hurt to one character. Whereas friends to lovers doesn’t involve as much drama and pain for a character. It is more of just angst between two people. And we know that they will get together eventually with a happy ending. So it was never really problematic.

And even then, the great thing about overusing or utilizing tropes, is that they can act as a guide. It allows the show writers and cast to make it personal, make it their own, adding their own special flair to it

I just don’t see the “this trope is used a lot” as a valid reasoning for disliking a ship .It just seems like this commenter doesn’t like the friends to lovers trope for the sake of not liking it.

I could be very wrong in my assumption of this person’s thoughts on friends to lovers, maybe there is a deeper reasoning as to why they don’t like it, but the tone that i interpreted when i read this section, was that they don’t have a real reason to dislike it, it’s more of just because.

4c.“then there's the fact that Riley had a mostly single Mac in her life for 3-4 years and she never even considered him romantically until he was with someone else”

First: Riley didn’t CHOOSE to fall in love. You may recall that “emotions aren’t a science. You can’t control them.”

Second: Mac was broken up with Desi when she caught feelings for him. Plus, the moment Riley saw that Mac and Desi were getting happy together, she moved out and gave them space. She sacrificed her own feelings for his happiness, despite the fact that her heart was breaking.

4d. “and finally, Mac not only still doesn't seem to even have Riley on his radar in that way but he literally told another woman that he loves her just last week. Neither of them look particularly good here if they get together now.”

I'm assuming that this was written when 4.12 first aired. I'm also assuming that this comment was more directed towards the idea of Mac and Riley getting together immediately at the end of the season, rather than later down the road. I always saw of macriley as more of endgame material. That i would see them get together sometime in the future. So I agree. Macriley getting together during that time period, would be too rushed and unsatisfying.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

So those were most of the supposed arguments that I saw for people who were against macriley, but I also wanted to provide some really good examples of people who were very respectable, and actually had valid reasoning for disliking them.

1. they just don’t like shipping in general

Ships can be annoying af. Seeing people ONLY focus on the ships is sometimes tiring. I, myself, even feel a little guilty making this post, because I need to chill and mind my own business lmaooo. I really should let people do whatever they want to do with their lives, and not get caught up in the ships, but here I am :p

Anyways, I know that there is a lot of unnecessary drama that comes with shipping, and it's tiring to see people constantly go on and on about romance, when there are other perfect things about the show.

2. No matter how hard they try, they just feel it.

This is literally so dumb (and a little hypocritical/self-contradictory), but if you have a gut feeling, and you just can’t get yourself to ship it, I get it. If you truly and genuinely believe that they are best platonic friends, I can't change your opinion. And I have respect for you (if you say it in a kind manner).

Here is a nice example of a person who expressed their opinion in a nice way, with no BS.

So the moral of the story: I can't control your deepest thoughts. I can't control your gut feelings. And that’s okay. But the moment that you start backing up your thoughts and insights with BS reasoning, is the moment that I lose respect for you.

[dumbasscorn]

Exothermic : chapter ten

Amalthea vs the Fever

"God no, Uley. I just wanted you to stay the hell away from me if you're sick."

previous chapter 

987 words 

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Amalthea Swan had been a student at Forks High School for a week when she finally received her first weekend to herself. She no longer had any unpacking to do, having done that all throughout the week rather than the homework assigned.

It was a Sunday afternoon and Thea was burrowed under a blanket, watching a cartoon on tv as she nursed a bowl of strawberry ice-cream. Her thoughts were turned away from how Jerry would piss Tom off in the episode when she received a text message from Trevor Uley.

'Hey I feel like ass. I can't make it to school tomorrow. Just bring me the papers the teacher gives us for the project after school. I'll text you my address in the morning, my brain refuses to think.'

Thea groaned into her mouthful of ice-cream, replying to the text message with 'if i get your gross ass sickness i will be beating your ass.'

Trevor then spammed her phone with heart emoticons, clarifying at the end that all of them were absolutely necessary in order for his illness to be cured.

Locking her phone and throwing it on the cushion at the end of the couch she laid upon, Thea remembered that Uley wasn't feeling well on Friday and probably isn't lying so he can ditch school.

In history, Amalthea and Trevor sat in the back of the class, bickering quietly about whether or not she would attend Jackson's first game at the end of the month. Thea claimed she was a busy ass person, as Trevor argued that Son deserves his parents love and support! To which Mal knocked him on the back of the head, earning a scolding from the teacher who spoke about due dates for the project they had been assigned on Monday.

Once Mr. Huber turned back to the white board, Amalthea turned toward the Uley boy with her two brows pulled together.

Discreetly whispering toward his ear, she had asked why his head was so hot, and if he had a fever.

"Worried 'bout me, are we, Mal? Awe! I knew you cared!" Trevor spoke aloud, - which earned himself a detention from the teacher who seemed to run out of patience- hand on his heart as he frowned in adoration.

"God no, Uley. I just wanted you to stay the hell away from me if you're sick." Thea spoke just as loud, causing for the history teacher to purse his lips together so tightly that they started to go white.

"Detention! Both of you! All you do is talk, hush up and pay attention! This project will be a quarter of your grade. You need to focus. Considering you both are partners, I suggest you two face forward and quit speaking to one another until I tell you to do so. Next time I hear a peep out of either of you, you're out of the room!" Huber spoke harshly, face going beet red in irritation.

"Gotcha, teach'. Just for you, I'll ignore the buffoon." Amalthea nodded, aiming a thumbs up toward the agitated teacher.

"Buffoon? Buffoon! I am not a buffoon, Swan!"

The teacher glared at the two students who had caused for his classroom to erupt in laughter rather than listen to his teachings.

"Out! I'm done with dealing with this. The both of you get yours things and go! Come back Monday for the papers-- leave my classroom!" Mr. Huber harshly spoke at the two teenagers as they both pretended to be sad at the news of being ejected from the room.

The two students left a giggling classroom, silently thanking the other for getting them out of there.

So no, Amalthea did not think that Uley decided to fake an illness. She just hoped that Uley also texted Jackson, not wanting to deal with his worries when tomorrow arises.

Feeling a headache come on from the two pigtails that she put in after waking at eleven in the morning, - her uncle refused to let her first weekend free of school be spent sleeping - Thea released the hair ties from her head of hair.

Running her hands through the scalp of her black tendrils, the teen kept her eyes glued on the television that showed Tom chasing after Jerry in a haste.

Hearing the engine of a car cutting off, Thea sat prepared for her uncle to come inside the door. Charlie entered the threshold with a friend in tow.

Harry Clearwater followed his friend into his home, immediately seeing the mans niece lounging on a small couch in the living room. Spotting the elder that she had never before, Amalthea turned toward her uncle and tilted her head, "You've got friends?"

"Wow Thea, you're so hilarious I almost forgot to laugh." Charlie exaggeratedly smiled widely, gently pushing the girls head.

"Harry, this is my niece Amalthea. Amalthea, this is Harry Clearwater. We stopped by so I could get my fishing gear." Charlie introduced the two, attention on the equipment he was there to collect.

"Amalthea? You wouldn't happen to be the young girl Uley's brother made friends with, would you?" Harry inquired, grinning softly at the girl.

Thea immediately groaned outwardly, hanging her head.

"Sadly, I guess so." She sighed, pushing hair out of her eyes, and met the mans eye line, "He showed me around on Monday so in his eyes we are now - and I quote - besties."

Harry chuckled at the girl, inwardly pitying the teen for having to lose her new friend so soon.

Charlie walked back toward the two, gear in hand. "Kiddo we're gonna head on out. I'll be back in a couple hours, Bella should be upstairs. Call if you need me."

The uncle patted her head, looking into her doe shaped eyes as they shifted toward Harry. The tribe elder nodded toward her, biding her ado.

"See you later Uncle Charlie and Uncle Charlie's fishing friend. Don't drown!"

═ ∘♡༉∘ ═

I watched the Tom and Jerry movie a couple days ago, have any of you seen it?

My spring break starts on Thursday, so I’ll begin writing new chapters then (except I’m gonna watch new moon first for a refresher lols).

Btw.... we're finally getting into things. ;) Are you ready?

Tag list; @ivettt​ @jjpogueprincess​ @demigodslut​

If you would like to be added to the tag list, please send me an ask or message me! Do the same if you’d like to be removed. :)

masterlist 

[atths--twice]

Chapter Nine  9/9

The Kosher Deli December 25, 2017 One week later

Mulder looked up from an email from Cera, as the bells on the door jingled, announcing an arrival. It was not Scully, but an older man and a little girl wearing hot pink furry earmuffs and a matching coat. They walked past him and he watched them approach the counter, smiling as the girl looked at all the cookies, as she decided on which one she wanted to buy.

He looked back down at his phone, at the photos she had sent over and he shook his head. The night she had been attacked in the amusement park, she had captured pictures of Elinor, unbeknownst to her until a couple of days later.

Elinor had not appeared as a ghost, but as a slightly out of focus person, getting clearer the closer she came to Cera. Not an angel in a graveyard, but a vengeful woman in her wedding dress. Mulder shook his head at the physical proof of an apparition that he held in his hand and all he could think was that it had nearly cost Scully her life. Not worth it.

Nothing was worth that.

“Hey,” Scully said, suddenly beside him and he jumped as he turned to look at her, locking his phone and putting it into his pocket. “Scare you?” She smiled as she sat down carefully, taking a chip from the bag in front of him.

“What have I been telling you for the past few days? I don’t get scared, remember?” he lied, his heart racing in his chest.

“Hmm,” she hummed, eating the chip and taking another. “Couldn’t wait for me?”

“You said twenty minutes and it’s been... at least thirty. So, I needed something to tide me over.”

“I believe the new established understanding is, if it’s longer than twenty minutes, bacon is involved. All the bacon.”

“Jewish deli, Scully,” he quipped, looking around and she laughed softly.

“Touché,” she said as she stood up just as carefully as she had sat down, brushing off her hands, and sliding off her coat and leaving it on her chair. “I’ll go order for us, you wait here and keep the table.” She stared at him and he raised an eyebrow. “Pastrami on rye, extra mustard, pickle on the side.” He kept staring and she smiled. “Coleslaw, unless the potato salad looks homemade.”

“Ahhh, Scully…” he said, more than a little aroused.

“Twenty five years, Mulder,” she said, shrugging and walking away.

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Twenty five years.”

He sighed as he watched her waiting in line, seeing her unconsciously rubbing gently at her chest. Knowing it was the ache of the bruises that covered the skin beneath the black sweater she wore, he shook his head, rubbing at his mouth.

They had only arrived home yesterday afternoon, after Scully had spent a couple of days in the hospital, making sure she was all right after nearly dying at the Boudreaux house. The ambulance had arrived not long after she had passed out and taken her to a hospital nearby, him following behind in the car.

He had not been allowed back until she was in a room, no matter how he had raged or flashed his badge. When he had finally been allowed back, he had walked into her room, believing she was asleep and causing him to pause in the doorway. But then she had opened her eyes and reached her hand out to him. He had walked over to her, grasping her hand and kissing her forehead, before resting his against hers.

“Thank you,” she had whispered, her thumb rubbing over the top of his hand.

“Scully,” he had whispered, pulling back to look at her.

“Stay with me. Don’t leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere.” She had tugged at his hand, trying to move over, groaning as she did. “Hey… careful. Let me help you.”

He had helped her shift over a bit, took off his shoes and suit jacket, and slid beneath the blankets beside her. Lying on their sides, she had nestled into him, his arms wrapped around her, and her hand grasping at his shirt.

“Mulder…” she had sighed, her breath warm against his neck, falling asleep almost instantly.

In the next few days, she had quite a few visitors for someone who knew no one in the area. Sheriff Lavonne had come to take their statement and her eyes had flicked to Mulder’s as he stood in the corner of the room, listening to her doctored version of events.

She had already told him what had happened, or what she thought had happened, shaking her head as she had said she did not know what was real or imagined.

“You think you imagined it, Scully?” he had asked, and she shook her head with a sigh.

“I don’t know, Mulder.” She had looked at him with a shrug, looking down as she rubbed the blanket between her fingers. “How can I explain to others that I believe I was trapped inside of a mirror with a woman who died over 150 years ago? I can barely comprehend it. How can I explain that without ending up in the psych ward?”

To that question, he had no answer.

Arielle, Davis, Cera, and Adam had come to see them, eager to tell their story of what had happened.

The four of them had met up, sharing the stories each had heard over the years concerning Elinor and Mary. When they had hit a dead end, they had done the same as Mulder, scouring past records for any information. They had called family members, friends, and friends of friends, asking if anyone they knew had ever mentioned or knew of stories related to Mary and Elinor.  

They had found a person related to James Cormier, a man who had heard his mother tell stories that she had heard about lost loves and being sure to choose the right person as your life partner. To never settle for the most beautiful or wealthy because both will fade. But love, it lasts and remains forever, no matter a person's social standing.  

“Better to be poor and happy than rich and miserable,” Arielle had said and the others had agreed, but then debated that being happy and a bit rich would not be so bad. They had all laughed and then they continued the story.

After they had spoken to Reese, James’s distant relative, they knew what they needed to do.

“Truth be told,” Davis had said, shaking his head. “The minute Arielle showed me the pictures Cera had taken a few years ago, I knew what we had to do, but I was terrified to actually do it.”

“I was too,” Arielle had said, taking his hand and looking at him with a nod. “I felt nauseous at the thought of even being there. But then, we went and saw Farrah and Tyler in the hospital, something I had been unable to do until then, and I wasn’t scared anymore. I was fucking pissed.” Davis had nodded in agreement, clenching his jaw.

They had driven out, stopping at a hardware store for sledgehammers and protective eye goggles, gaining curious looks, but no comments from the gum chewing young girl who had rung up four people buying such items in the middle of a storm.

When they had pulled up to the church, Arielle and Davis both had a moment of hesitation, breathing hard and shaking in the pouring rain.

“But then Cera…” Arielle had said, tears in her eyes as she reached for her friend’s hand. “She grabbed my hand and that was all I needed. She nodded and we walked together in the rain, determined to end it.”

Knowing exactly where it was, Cera leading them, still holding Arielle’s hand, they had each taken a sledgehammer and put on their goggles, lightning flashing and the rain making it harder to see, but not impossible to get their task finished.

Simultaneously, they had hit Elinor’s headstone and the large statue of Mary that had been ordered to be erected there by Mary’s mother Elizabeth, years after Mary’s death.

“Hany, the slave girl who had been befriended by Mary, had also been entrusted with letters Mary had written when she was the most ill regarding her concerns about Elinor, that were to be given to her mother after Mary’s father had died,” Adam had explained. “Mary did not like her father and he did not seem to care for her either. After his death, Hany came back to that house she had lived in as a slave, and told the truth she had kept secret for years. Mary’s mother had the statue made as a sense of revenge: that Mary would always be there no matter where Elinor was. So… that bitch had to come down.” The other three had nodded vigorously and Mulder had looked at Scully, impressed by the little group of badasses.

Not stopping until both were piles of rubble, they had fallen to the ground, everyone but Adam crying, feeling free, the rain washing them clean.

“I didn’t even feel cold,” Arielle had said, crying and wiping her eyes. “For the first time in nearly two months, in the pouring rain, I didn’t feel cold.” She had looked at Mulder and he had nodded with a smile before glancing at Scully. She had wiped at her own eyes and looked at him, understanding that their actions had not only saved them, but had been what saved her as well.

When Scully had been released from the hospital, they had gone to see Farrah and Tyler, who were now awake and making a slow recovery, much to Doctor Audrey’s relief.

“It’s going to take a long time for them to heal,” Scully had said, taking a deep breath as they walked down the hallway, slowing her steps for a second. Taking another deep breath, she had placed her hand on her chest, giving him a nod. “I’m okay. Just some bruising.” He had stared at her, knowing he had been the one to put the bruises there, in his desperate attempt to keep her heart beating, and she had shaken her head.

“I’ll take the bruises over the alternative any day,” she had said softly and he had nodded, placing his hand on the small of her back as they had continued out of the hospital.

“Food should be up soon,” she said, sitting beside him, pulling him from his thoughts.

“Great, I’m starving.”

“Maybe this will help tide you over until then?” she asked with a smile, placing a black and white cookie in front of him on a napkin. He nodded as he looked at it, breaking it in half horizontally, two pieces of equal amount of both colors.  

“Look to the cookie, Elaine. Look to the cookie,” he said, quoting Seinfeld and he handed her half. She laughed and nodded as she took a bite and he did the same.

“Order for Fox? Fox, your order is ready!”

“Really?” he asked, staring at her and shaking his head. She shrugged, not meeting his eyes until he started to get up and she looked at him, her eyes shining. “I’ll remember this, Miss Scully, mark my words.”

“I’m sure you will… Fox,” she giggled and he shook his head with a smile as he walked up to the counter.

“Fox?” the girl at the counter asked.

“Yeah, that’s me,” he muttered, and she nodded, sliding their tray of food toward him.

“Thank you for coming in today, Fox. And Merry Christmas!” He looked at her and nodded.

“Happy Holidays to you,” he said, picking up the tray and turning around. He shook his head as he saw Scully grinning at him as he walked back to their table.

“Did you get the food okay then, Fox?”

“You best watch it,” he said, setting the tray down as she took their plates off of it, and he moved the tray to the side.  

They ate in silence, sharing food back and forth as they always had, and he found comfort in the comfortable. Glancing at her as she stopped eating to take a deep breath, he shook his head needing to tell her something that had been on his mind.

“I know I’ve joked that I don’t get scared anymore,” he said quietly, setting his sandwich down, and wiping his hands clean. “But… I was more scared than I have ever been when I couldn’t bring you around. You were so cold-”

“Mulder-”

“I thought I’d lost you, Scully. I really did.”

“Your panic face was showing?” she teased and he looked at her, his expression serious.

“I’m not joking. I’m not-”

“Mulder,” she said quietly, covering his hand with her own and squeezing his fingers. “I know. I… I was scared too. Very scared.” He nodded as he looked into her eyes and they spoke the best way they knew how; silently. He squeezed her hand with a deep sigh and a nod and she squeezed back.

Not saying anything further, words unnecessary, they sat quietly holding hands, in a busy Jewish deli on Christmas afternoon, her head resting on his shoulder, as life bustled on around them.

[waywardodysseys]

Depths of Love - Oneshot

Pairing: Agent Whiskey/Jack Daniels x female reader

Warnings: angst, cussing

Requested?: Yes by @iamwarrenspeace - A year later reader is back in Denver and running her dream business along with having a healthy, beautiful baby. Jack is released from prison and finds her. What will become of these two broken hearted lovers?

Quote: “Only in the agony of parting do we look into the depths of love.” - George Eliot

Agony of Parting - Part One

~   ~   ~

One year later

Jack sits quietly at the oblong wooden table inside Champ’s office. He’s given the Statesman valuable information regarding a few people he was in league with prior to the misfortune of getting arrested and returning as a criminal. Once the people were obtained, Champ kept his word and was promising to let Jack go.

“My apologies Jack,” Champ remarks as he makes his way towards the table.

“It’s fine sir.” Jack states as he watches his former boss take a seat at the head of the table.

“I wanted to make sure all my t’s were crossed before I gave you information I have.”

Jack perks up, “what information?”

Champ sighs heavily, “I know Y/N hasn’t visited you in quite some time. I’ve kept tabs on her, making sure all is good. And well,” Champ pauses, “I wanted to pass along she has returned to Denver.”

The older gentleman did not need to divulge anymore. He knew what you were doing career and life wise. Champ needed Jack to figure that out on his own.

“She left me in the dust sir. I, uh, I don’t think she wants to see me.” Jack stutters as a wave of emotion washes over him.

Champ leans forward, “I think it’s best you see her Jack. I wouldn’t be tellin’ you this unless I thought was of grave importance.”

You have a child, Champ’s mind screams.

Jack eyes his former boss. The older gentleman was right. Jack lets out a breath.

“You have no one Jack,” Champ remarks, “but you could have someone. She was a part of your life Jack. You proposed to her and she said yes. Don’t let your actions account for what could be now that you are free.”

Jack’s heart sinks in his chest as he relives the day you left him alone in the prison.

He knew you had been right about him comparing you to Lela. He could not believe he was foolish enough to hold onto her for so long when he had finally found you. Jack should have buried Lela’s memory, along with the unborn child’s, the day he knew he loved you.

“She won’t want to see me.”

“I know you’ve changed Jack. Prison does that to a man. Let her see you’ve changed. Let her see Lela and the unborn child are behind you.”

Champ had visited Jack once a week. The old man felt sorry for Jack especially when Y/N didn’t come around for another visit. Champ had become Jack’s therapist in a way, helping him sort out his life, who he loved, and how he could be free from the prison he was in.

Jack sighs heavily as he stands, “Y/N said it was over. She didn’t want anything to do with me.”

Champ raises his eyes to look into Jack’s. “Find her Jack. As a friend, I beg of you to find her. Talk with her,” Champ pauses, “be kind.”

Jack nods curtly, turns on his heel and leaves.

-------

You pull the cookie sheet from the oven and place it on the counter. The smell of cinnamon rolls over the bakery.

“Smells delicious Y/N,” Lisa remarks as she walks over with your daughter, Adira.

The four-month-old smiles widely at you as you begin to place homemade cinnamon rolls on a cooling rack. You reach out and pinch her cheek lightly. You keep your eyes focused on her face.

Your parents had said she was the splitting image of you when you were born. Yet when you look at her you saw Jack in those deep brown eyes of hers. Your mind often thinks of him, recalling the happy years you spent together before everything came crashing down a year ago.

You wonder about the day when Jack gets released. You aren’t scared of facing him, you’re more concerned about him finding out about Adira and him becoming angered because you left out the tiny detail of being pregnant when you saw him last. Therefore, giving him the ammunition to be in his daughter’s life.

“Your mind is wondering off again,” Lisa states lightly.

You grab the made from scratch icing and begin to ice the rolls. “Just thinking.”

“About Jack?”

You wince at the name, and how right she is. “You know me too well.”

“I am your best friend. Same high school, college.”

“I know,” you turn and face her, “and you let me crash with you. You were there with me when I told my parents about the pregnancy. Were with me during the process of buying this place and starting the bakery.”

You had feared your parents wouldn’t like you being a single parent, but they supported you after you informed them of Jack’s situation and once their granddaughter was born they were enamored with her and spoiled her rotten.

Before Adira was born you knew you wanted to open a bakery. It was a dream of yours. You loved to bake. You did it often growing up, did it plenty back in N.Y.C.

“I love these sweets darlin’,” Jack’s voice drawls in your mind, “but you’re still the sweetest treat ever.”

You shake your head and push Jack’s words aside. You didn’t need him invading your thoughts. You were free of him and was hoping you’d never see him again. You know you’ve done well for yourself over the last year. You were a single mom running your own business, and you knew you were capable of anything.

You focus on washing the few pieces of dirty dishes as Lisa opens the bakery for the day. A line of people walk in ready to get their morning coffee and breakfast pastries.

*

The afternoon comes quickly but you know it drags on, especially since it’s Thursday. You sit at the counter planning out next week’s special treats. May fourth is amongst the dates on your piece of paper. You’ve thought about making cookies in the shape of Darth Vader helmets, Yoda’s head, and even the Millennium Falcon.

Your mind is focused on the list, you don’t pay attention to the person who walks in and begins scanning the small bakery. The place is empty save you. Lisa had taken Adira to a daycare around the corner. You’ll pick her up when you close the shop at five.

“Smells like heaven,” the voice drawls.

You stop writing as the familiar voice reaches your ears. You never thought you’d be hearing it again so soon, or even at all.

You look up and into Jack’s deep brown eyes. Your heart quickens at the sight of him. He looks freshly groomed – well trimmed haircut and mustache. He’s without his beloved Stetson as he wears a long-sleeved black button down top and blue jeans. You can smell the cologne he always wears.

Jack takes in your look of bewilderment as he stands in front of the cash register. You’re a heavenly sight to his eyes. It had taken him a couple of days to find out where you were. He had to plead with a contact at the Denver P.D. about doing a search on you.

When he finally got the information, Jack had watched the bakery for a day. His nerves getting the best of him because he wanted to wait till you were alone to speak with you. And now he had his opportunity.

“Jack,” you whisper.

“Y/N,” Jack drawls in return.

“What, uh, what are you doing here? How did you find me?”

Jack shrugs, “I was let go. Gave the Statesman some valuable information. I was able to beseech an old connection with the D.P.D. about doing a search for you.”

Right, you think. You remember Jack knowing some of the police officers working for various departments in the area when you had begun dating.

“Yet you knew I was back here?” You retort with slight anger.

Jack shrugs, “this was your home. Is your home. The only place you know. When we talked about having a family, we talked about me transferring permanently back here so you could have their support since I had no one.”

Even though I’d have you, you think. Because you knew he’d be a great father to his child. He’d be wrapped around their finger for life.

Your heart swells as you think of the possible scenarios Jack and Adira would have as a father and daughter – their first fight, meeting the dates who will take her out, walking her down the aisle, holding a grandchild.

And where would you be? Would you be with them, living together? Taking Jack back and loving him? Because a part of you still did – he is the father of your child. The precious gift you had been bestowed with by the man standing in front of you.

“I would like to talk to you. Explain things.” Jack remarks.

You nod your head as you walk from around the corner, towards a clean and empty table.

Jack sits across from you, “I’m glad you opened a bakery. You’re the best baker I’ve ever known.”

You blush, “thank you Jack.”

“You’re most welcome.”

Silence stretches wide between the both of you as you gaze into each other’s eyes. Both of you remembering and reliving the past you shared together.

Jack clears his throat, “I want to first and foremost apologize for my actions. I shouldn’t have done what I did which led to me becoming a criminal and you walking away from me,” Jack pauses, “I’d like to apologize for comparing you to Lela. You were right all those months ago when you visited me. I shouldn’t have compared you to her. I should have buried her in the past, where she belongs. It’s where she is now, along with the unborn child. They are both behind me Y/N,” Jack reaches across the table and takes your hands into his, “I want, I need a future with you. I love you,” he removes one hand from your skin and reaches into a pocket. He pulls out the ring he had given you then you had given him in return, “I want to marry you. Have a family. Support you in this bakery endeavor. I will find a job – to support us, to support the children we’ll have.”

You absorb the words Jack spews out. You let them sink in. Part of you wanted him to be a part of your life again because it would be beneficial to Adira. He needed to know his daughter. Jack needed to know he created another life.

“Jack, I—” you begin but you’re interrupted by someone coming into the bakery.

“Y/N!”

You stand and smile at the gentleman who walks in. He’s become a regular, he’s also a flirt.

“Rob,” you smile as you make your way behind the counter, “what may I get for you today?”

“Your world-famous snickerdoodles, and a few chocolate chips.” Rob says with a flirtatious smile.

“Anything else?” You say as you grab a bag and tongs.

“How’s Adira?”

You smile, “she’s good. At daycare.”

Rob eyes roam over you as you tie the bag then head to the register. He moves to the register as well. “She’s beautiful just like her mom.”

You swallow and smile. Your heart racing in your chest. He always flirted every time he came in but today Jack was here. You take this chance to fully look at Rob. He has short ginger hair, mahogany colored eyes. Light fuzz covers his cheeks. Your eyes then move down the small seating area and land on Jack who’s looking at you with a raised brow. You instantly melt at his gaze.

You turn to Rob, “on the house Rob. Just this once.”

Rob laughs lightly, “thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” you sigh as you hand over the bag of cookies then watch him depart the bakery.

Jack gets up from the table. He moves his eyes between you and the gentleman. He sees the gentleman smile at you as he takes the bag. A tinge of jealousy rolls over him. Jack wonders about the men who’ve flirted with you, wondered how many have been between your legs.

Jack waits till the man is gone. He takes long strides towards you and walks behind the counter. He pulls you into his arms and captures your mouth. He feels your hands travel up his arms and loop around his neck. He rejoices when you open your mouth and let him in. He relishes in how you taste of sugar and honey.

Your body overheats as Jack’s hands move down your back. You’ve had no one else since him. No one else has made your body vibrate like he has since he first kissed you years ago outside a rundown bar.

He had done the same then as he had now. Taken big steps and brushed his mouth with yours. He had wanted to make sure you never forgot him, and you hadn’t.

You pull faintly away from Jack, cup his cheek, “I need to tell you something.”

“What?”

You let out a breath, “I’d rather show you.”

Jack feels lost once you step out of his arms. He watches you scribble on a scrap piece of paper. You hand it over to him and he traces a finger over an address.

“Meet me at seven.” You knew the man needed to meet his daughter. “Dinner and I will show you what you need to know.”

“I don’t know if I can wait,” Jack drawls.

You reach out and cup his cheek. Your thumb strokes his soft skin. “Please Jack. If you love me, you’ll wait and show up.”

Jack takes your outstretched hand, kisses the inside of your wrist. “I’ll wait and see you at seven.”

-------

Lisa looks at you quizzically. “You’re really going to let Jack meet her?”

“Yes,” you sigh out, “he’s her father.”

“I know Y/N. But what if he wants the whole nine yards? You back with him and married, raising Adira together?”

You shrug, “he said he loved me. He said the ghost was behind him.”

“You believe him?”

“His words were genuine. He looked like a changed man, sounded like a changed man.”

Lisa embraces you tightly, “I just, I want to make sure you think long and hard before you agree to get back together with him. I was here when he wasn’t. I was your rock when he fucked everything up.”

You hug Lisa in return, “I know. I love you. He needs to know about his daughter. That’s all that matters.”

You were still hesitant about being with Jack, but he deserved to know about his daughter.

Lisa steps back and smiles, “call me if you need anything. I’ll be at my parents which isn’t far away.”

“I know. Now go.”

Lisa smiles weakly and grabs her purse. “Alright. I’ll see you later.”

You walk her to the door, “you will, and I’ll be fine.”

Lisa nods her head, opens the door, and leaves you alone in the house you share.

*

Jack rings the doorbell promptly at seven. He smiles widely and holds out a bouquet of roses as you open the door.

You smile in return and take the roses. You inhale their scent, which brings your mind back to the night he proposed. You push the memory aside as you usher him in.

“Let me get these in some water,” you murmur as you walk into the kitchen.

Jack takes in the open and expansive floor plan. “You’ve done well.”

“This is my best friend’s house. I’ve been staying here since I returned.” You remark.

“And where’s the roommate tonight?”

“At her parents but she will be returning Jack. So don’t get any ideas.”

“I’m a gentleman,” Jack drawls.

You smile and shake your head.

“Is this what you wanted to show me? You’re doing well and don’t need me?”

“Don’t jump to conclusions Jack,” you reply.

“Fine but I am dying to know what you wanted to show me.”

You look at Jack. You’re nervous but must get on with it. You begin walking and turn down a hallway, “follow me.”

Jack follows you down a long hallway and to a closed door. He watches as you turn the handle and open it slowly. He sees the finger you press against your lips – signaling him to be quiet.

He turns to look in the room. It’s a baby nursery with a crib and changing table, even a dresser. The walls are lavender in color and wooden block letters adorn a wall.

“Adira?” Jack’s voice cracks.

You grab Jack’s arm and walk him towards the crib.

Jack looks down and sees a beautiful sleeping baby.

“Meet your daughter,” you whisper.

Jack swells with emotion as he reaches down and runs a lone finger down a cheek. He’s a father. He’s always wanted a child, wanted a family since he could remember. He wanted to have something great in his life because he had to endure the nastiness of his own family. He wanted to raise a child with the woman he loved. He needed a family of his own. “May I?”

“Yes.”

Jack reaches down with his other hand and with both hands picks up the baby slowly and carefully. He cradles her against his chest as tears escape his eyes.

“She’s amazing, beautiful,” Jack whispers, “why Adira?”

“It means strong, noble, powerful. I wanted to give her a worthwhile name. Something to reflect my strength and power because she was mine throughout the past year.”

You watch as Jack makes his way to the rocking chair and sits. You see the glassiness of his eyes and the wave of emotions overtaking him. You watch as he absorbs the moment of holding his child for the first time, slightly surprised he’s not angry for keeping Adira away from him but you know he’ll make up for the lost time now.

“I’ll leave you two alone.”

Jack looks up at you. “You’ve given me the greatest gift.”

“You deserved to know Jack. She’s your daughter too.”

“And what about us?”

You walk towards the open door, look back at Jack and shrug, “we’ll see.”

Tags:  @pascalisthepunkest, @synystersilenceinblacknwhite​, @caitlincat-95, @kaelyn-lobrutto24, @x-wingwarriorbbpoe8, @arrowswithwifi, @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead, @longitud-de-onda, @knight-of-heart44, @pedrosdoll​, @halefirewarrior, @stardust-and-starlight, @readsalot73, @random066, @earl-01, @ezraslittlebirdie, @bonkybaaarnes

Part 2 tags: @shayna-winchester​, @mrsparknuts​

[liskantope]

Some briefer(?) reactions to major Disney films 1989-1998

I consider the Disney Renaissance (around the period I refer to in the above title) to have been the last official leg of my chronological journey through major Disney features through Disney+ (for this one I need to mention that I’m excluding CGI animated ones on this journey, except when I feel like watching them on the side). I logged some thoughts on the films I watched in the two earlier legs of the journey here and here, where honestly I intended my notes to be short and not turn into full-blown mini-essays for each movie. Those posts turned out to be major timesucks and I can’t afford that now, but I thought I’d jot down a hodgepodge of reactions and just be briefer and sloppier about it. I feel like I have overall less to say about this set of films anyway, since they’re pretty much all very high-quality and are talked about extensively in the cultural discourse much more than films from Disney’s earlier eras.

As I was still trying to stick to taking one day for each year in the Disney Studios timeline and major film production by Disney picked up pace a lot at the start of this era, I wound up doing a rather intense marathon of one full Disney movie each evening: over ten evenings (corresponding to the years 1989 through 1998), I watched the ten movies The Little Mermaid, The Rescuers Down Under, Beauty and the Beast, Aladdin, The Nightmare Before Christmas, The Lion King, Pocahontas, The Hunchback of Notre Dame, Hercules, and Mulan. I would have watched Tarzan the following evening, but I had very recently sort of re-seen it when it came on Netflix -- I didn’t see it for the first time until an outdoor event near the end of grad school not that many years ago; I didn’t bother paying full attention on seeing it the second time a couple of months ago and couldn’t much get into it on the second viewing.

The thing about the ten major animated Disney movies on this list is that, while I can’t say I love all of them, the uptick in quality is dramatic right from the start and never wavers. Every single one of these films just seems objectively better than Pete’s Dragon, The Fox and the Hound, or Oliver and Company. This will help me be a little shorter-written when talking about them, as it’s easier to expand on specific criticisms than to wax on about how great something is.

[EDIT: Okay, these still turned out pretty long and more on the polished side. Guess I’m just not that capable of being brief and sloppy.]

The Little Mermaid, 1989

Although we didn’t have the video at my house growing up, I somehow knew The Little Mermaid quite well; I guess I watched it quite a few times. I went a gap of many years before seeing it again in college (I’m fairly certain that my college girlfriend and I watched it together, in fact). My reaction at the time was that although it was well enough done with good music, the story was terrible. This was right around the time I watched a performance of Once on This Island, a musical based on Hans Christian Anderson’s “The Little Mermaid” on which, of course, the Disney movie was based. I thought the tragic tale told in Once on This Island was beautiful and scorned The Little Mermaid for cheapening it. In fact, my opinion was quite scathing in the way that my opinions more often were when I was younger. So I was a little wary on watching it again.

I’ve mellowed out since my college days and don’t hate the story quite as much now -- in particular, I can’t really blame Disney for Disnifying a mature tragedy into a more lighthearted tale with a happy ending -- but I still think it’s kind of bad. We’re back to Disney princesses (I think for the first time since my first round of Disney films?), this time with a Disney princess who had goals that didn’t involve meeting her prince, until she actually meets him and every other interest, including staying in the world she grew up with where to which all the people who ever loved her or knew her are confined, giving up her voice, and drastically changing her physical form. And this is all for a prince character of flatly generic personality who is superficial and dim-witted enough that he only knows his true love by her voice. (I don’t understand why this isn’t the Disney Renaissance-era film that routinely gets criticized for being anti-feminist rather than... a certain other one also on this list.) Also, while King Triton isn’t by any means a flat character, his sudden turnaround at the end and almost lightheartedness at saying goodbye to his daughter presumably forever doesn’t quite feel right.

I was very surprised at how much I’d completely forgotten among plot events and certain scenes in the movie. For instance, as the action neared the climax, I really had no memory of how Ursula would be defeated and watching it didn’t jog my memory.

This is the first of several films on this list where I noticed a sample of what I’m starting to think of a set of 90′s sitcom/romcom tropes, in this case the situation of the romantic leads courting very publicly with all the other characters watching and cheering it on and working behind the scenes to help it happen. This shows up again in Beauty and the Beast and (to a slight degree) Aladdin below.

Great music of course, even slightly better than what I remembered. Fun fact: you know that “Part of Your World” song, almost certainly the most widely popular in the film, the one that musical theater kids at my (and maybe your) middle school always used for auditions? Apparently it was almost cut from the film, mainly because it was shown to a test audience of little kids who all fidgeted and got visibly distracted.

The Rescuers Down Under, 1990

I don’t have too much to say about this one, the first Disney sequel ever. I had only ever seen the first Rescuers before and, as my previous set of reviews indicates, didn’t particularly like it, but came in to this one a little more optimistic since some consider it better than its predecessor. They aren’t wrong -- this movie was similar to The Rescuers but better, I think. Although the villain was just as forgettable, the setting was far more enticing (at least to someone like me who has never been to Australia and thinks of it as exotic), and the dynamic between the main mouse characters was more engaging. Here we have another subplot that somehow reminds me of a 90′s-ish sitcom/romcom, with the aborted marriage proposals and a love triangle -- not that love triangles hadn’t featured in movies for decades, but something about how this one was done felt distinctly more modern.

Beauty and the Beast, 1991

Ah, this is not only one of the Disney movies I saw the most as a kid but one which has only grown on me as I’ve gotten older -- I consider it one of the most groundbreakingly beautiful of the animated classics ever made, one of my very favorite Disney productions of all time. We got the video when I was only five or so; I remember distinctly that it came out on home video (right after coming out in theaters) right around the same time that 101 Dalmatians came out on home video and that my mom explained to me that she was choosing to buy Beauty and the Beast instead because of its superior music. She was right about this -- not that 101 Dalmatians has bad music, but it’s hard to measure up to Alan Mencken’s masterful compositions for Beauty and the Beast. For me it solidly ranks in the top three Disney movie soundtracks ever, one of the others being that of Mary Poppins and the third being from an easily-predictable film later on this list.

I’m pretty sure I remember watching portions of this movie every morning for weeks before leaving for kindergarten (this is what makes me think we got it when I was five), and I continued to enjoy it throughout childhood. I next watched it when I was much older, but I can’t remember exactly when. During college I got hold of the soundtrack of the musical, which since has been one of my favorite musical soundtracks to listen to. I never actually got to see the musical until last December when it was showing in my hometown, and I thought it was excellent. Interestingly, there were a number of scenes that I assumed had been added for the musical but I had actually forgotten were in the movie -- unlike with certain Disney musical films *ahemMaryPoppinsahem*, they didn’t take many liberties with the musical except to add a number of new (very good) songs.

Leaving aside the top-notch music and exquisite animation, the story in my opinion is one of the most beautiful and distinctively memorable stories Disney has ever told, not to mention entertaining without every being silly or over-the-top. It speaks of compassion, drawing out core goodness from an ugly exterior, and the fact that, to quote the enchantress from the start of the tale, “beauty comes from within”. Belle is also, to my mind, the most feminist Disney protagonist ever to be seen up to that time, which is why I get super super annoyed that so many people point to this movie loftily shouting “Stockholm Syndrome!” I feel it’s kind of inevitable that I quickly address that here, even though I’ve brought it up on this blog several times before. (Also, for an excellent takedown of the “Beauty and the Beast is a sexist story because Belle has Stockholm’s Syndrome” take, see this video essay of Lindsay Ellis.)

When watching the musical last winter I kept an eye out for justification for the Stockholm’s Syndrome take that I might not have remembered and couldn’t find any, but it pains me to admit that I did find a smidgen of justification, for someone determined to be a bit uncharitable, in a particular bit of dialog from the movie. I don’t recall it appearing with quite that wording in the musical, although it’s entirely possible that the musical has those exact same lines and I just wasn’t being observant. Here it is:

BELLE: What did you say?

BEAST: I release you. You’re no longer my prisoner.

BELLE: You mean... I’m free?

BEAST: Yes.

BELLE: Oh, thank you. Hold on, Papa. I’m on my way. [tries to hand mirror to BEAST]

BEAST: Take it with you. So you’ll always have a way to look back... and remember me.

BELLE: [in sweet, deeply moved tone] Thank you for understanding how much he needs me.

So okay, maybe Belle comes off as showing just a bit too much unqualified gratitude here, an oversight that the writers circa 1990 clearly should have avoided in case diagnosing female characters with Stockholm’s should ever become trendy twenty-something years later. But this could be remedied by a quick rewrite of the dialog in that one scene; it’s not as though the whole plot has to be changed away from its inherently misogynistic nature.

And that’s all I want to say on that one aspect of this absolute gem of a Disney production. Despite a few minor issues I noticed, such as Maurice being a little too innocent and helpless, and it lacking my very favorite line from the musical (“Belle don’t you recognize the beast within the man who’s now before you?” at the end), Beauty and the Beast comes about as close to perfection as it gets.

Aladdin, 1992

Although I didn’t see this major blockbuster hit when it first came out -- it was probably considered a bit too intense for me at kindergarten age -- this is the first time that I was aware on some level that a particular Disney movie was a new release. (One of my few sharp memories of kindergarten recess was a boy standing on a stump or low piece of playground equipment making proclamations to passersby for minutes at a time that alternated between, “You are a street rat!”, “You were born a street rat!”, and “You will die a street rat!”, and how this made me consciously contemplate the concept of present/past/future tenses for the first time.) When I saw it, I loved it -- it was clearly the most exciting animated movie out there. At some point in childhood I thought it was bested by its sequel, but a few years later as a teenager I decided that the tightly resonant plot of the original Aladdin made it the best Disney movie ever. I’ve definitely mellowed out my opinion on this, as Aladdin certainly has flaws and some other features are more deeply meaningful to me as an adult, but I still hold up Aladdin as one of the greats. I saw at least parts of it as an adult on TV and saw it very recently prior to getting Disney+ when it appeared briefly on Netflix, but I was perfectly happy to rewatch it yet again on Disney+ the evening after watching its predecessor as Aladdin is fun and entertaining every time.

In this animated production we have finally topped The Great Mouse Detective in terms of animated action. We have topped most movies that ever came out prior in terms of a manically funny yet also soulful character in Robin Williams’ role as the genie. The story is excellent, apart from having only one female character, and my being bothered just a little by the slough of magic tricks dominating the action towards the end -- I tend to prefer universes where magic requires scholarly study and careful training (e.g. The Black Cauldron) rather than “genie points his finger at you and now you have the ability to point your own finger and make anything happen that pops into your head”. The sultan continues the trend of old man characters who are portrayed as helpless and infantile -- in this case, even more intensely, since the sultan has none of Maurice’s brilliant smarts. But I’m mostly nitpicking here -- Aladdin is well deserving of its high status in the history of Disney.

The Nightmare Before Christmas, 1993

I was very glad to finally get a chance to see this movie, because I clearly remember knowing about it from the time it was being advertised back in 1993, and I heard about it during my entire childhood, adolescence, and early adulthood. Although it seemed that most of my friends had seen it growing up, it didn’t look much like my conception at the time of a “normal movie” or even normal content, and so I don’t recall ever asking to watch it. But my recent-day self recognized that it’s quite a classic and was curious to see it.

I don’t regard The Nightmare Before Christmas as one of the really great Disney productions, but I strongly admire how original it was (particularly for its time) in every single aspect, including use of claymation, overall aesthetic, intriguing characters, and story. It was also fun to see what seems to be the only Disney musical that is done in the style of opera, that is, where the entire story is told in songs without any extended non-musical dialogs. And the songs are quite good in their own way, too. I don’t particularly want to see the film again, but I might not mind getting a soundtrack of it.

The Lion King, 1994

This is the first Disney movie -- and I believe the first movie of any kind, in fact -- that I went to see in the theater. I remember it as a powerful and sometimes overwhelming experience, but as a movie I overall liked even as young as I was. This is remarkable especially considering that much of the story feels more adult in nature than almost any other Disney animated feature.

What can I even say about this one? I think the general reaction to watching it is almost unanimously shared. My impression is that what its creators were going for, more than anything else, was epicness, and they succeeded in a way that had never been done through animation before. Apparently the entire (incredibly epic) opening number was shown as the trailer -- a questionable move, but understandably it got people very excited about The Lion King’s release.

One of many particular things that makes The Lion King stand out is the profound darkness of its main villain, perhaps the most chilling that has ever appeared in Disney. An argument can be made that not only murdering a major protagonist halfway through the movie but convincing the child that he’s to blame is the most evil act we’ve ever seen from a Disney villain. I’ve seen it pointed out that it’s vaguely ableist to give the villain an ugly scar and even make it his name. Some have suggested that they should have made the villain the handsome and strong one and given the scar to one of the heroes -- Simba or Mufasa -- instead. I’m definitely sympathetic to this point of view, and I totally agree that Scar shouldn’t actually have been someone’s name. However, without getting bogged down into something that could be a lengthy post all on its own, I strongly feel that in a way it adds to the depth of our villain’s depravity through the backstory that it implies. And by the way, his ending is probably my favorite out of the fates of all Disney villains.

The music also follows the film’s ethos of being as epic as possible (well, with the exception of a couple of the songs, but they were still fine songs). “The Circle of Life” and the instrumental music propel The Lion King’s soundtrack to possibly the very best in all of Disney.

To be sure, this movie does have more flaws than I remembered. As I said, Scar is a terrible name to give any of the characters, especially in a story where everyone else’s name comes from Swahili. Pumbaa is basically just one big fart joke. (Although, I give the writers major credit for managing to switch the tone to accommodate fart jokes within like five minutes of Scar confronting Simba over Mufasa’s death.) The video essayist Big Joel has pointed out interesting things about the story and made some rather troubling points about it, although to me that almost just makes the film deeper and more thought-provoking rather than actually worse (I see the Chronicles of Narnia this way). But overall, The Lion King has well earned its high rank on the list of highest grossing films of all time.

----------

At this point in Disney’s history and my childhood, apparently I decided that I didn’t care to see new Disney films coming out because I was content with watching my old favorites over and over, and anyway I was getting older and discovering that non-Disney movies could be quite entertaining as well. Therefore, I didn’t see any of these last four until adulthood, even though they all came out when I was still a kid.

Pocahontas, 1995

I was glad for the chance to finally see Pocahontas for the first time, unfortunately not before hearing countless references to it as being Problematic while I would have preferred to go into it completely uninfluenced by popular opinion. I had actually seen songs from it and Disney books of it as a child and it didn’t interest me at all. On finally watching the film, I found that I got what I expected on both counts: it wasn’t  terribly interesting or gripping, and it doesn’t really pass the muster of today’s higher standards of responsible storytelling about colonialism.

All that really sticks out at me looking back (after some delay in writing this post, so that it was over a month ago that I watched this) is that the plot felt a bit atypical in two ways. One, a character, who is neither a protagonist really nor a villain, is killed off around halfway through -- a daring move that The Fox and the Hound chickened out of doing, but I shouldn’t have been all that surprised given that Pocahontas’ very predecessor did this with a protagonist in a much bigger way. And two, the story ends sort of anticlimactically: I can’t help feeling a bit disappointed when a big Disney animated feature doesn’t end with a lot of action, despite realizing that this more peaceful kind of ending being a reasonable alternative is basically the entire point the story wants to make.

The songs are sort of meh, at least by the high standards of Disney movies of this period. Nothing more really to say on this one.

The Hunchback of Notre Dame, 1996

Here is another movie that I had never gotten around to seeing before, despite having been somewhat more interested in it than I ever was in Pocahontas. And this turned out to be the main breakout attraction on this list, as I found it nothing short of spectacular (save, perhaps, the music, which was “only” quite solid, maybe not spectacular).

I would nominate this for the award of most mature movie among all the animated features included in this journey. I would almost say its ideal audience is adults, not children. It showcases an abusive relationship with enough intricate care to be worthy of analysis through abuse discourse on Tumblr. It displays lust and sexuality in a way that I don’t think I’ve never seen anywhere else in Disney animation. Its violence and political undertones are quite dark. It examines religion deeply (which is as far as I know unique in Disney), and the capacity of religion to bring out both the best and the worst impulses in humanity is exposed. Its main villain is one of the more multi-layered ones. It treats physical handicaps and deformities in quite an honest way and subverts expectations with its love plot.

Perhaps the only thing one might reasonably criticize this movie for is the characters of the gargoyles, which are clearly present to lighten the tone a bit so that the film isn’t entirely heavy and austere. But I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised -- I think the gargoyle stuff could have been executed in such a way that may have made the whole film sag, but instead they were done just right: the gargoyles are depicted as being animated only in the mind of Quasimodo. This means in fact that in a way, they actually implicitly add some gravity to his situation. (Consider that in a more typical Disney film there would have been some sort of cheesy sentient animal friend instead whose existence would not have been confined to the protagonist’s imagination.) Here I’m going to choose to ignore the fact that the gargoyles do seem to interfere in the final battle with some explosives, a possible inconsistency which is minor enough to be glossed over.

Anyway, I think before I unsubscribe from Disney+, I might just give this one a second watching.

Hercules, 1997

Although I never saw this one growing up, I did get talked into watching it by my college girlfriend who had been fond of it growing up. I distinctly remember not caring much for it when I saw it with her. My reaction at this later stage of my life is basically the same. There’s something about the animation style that I find subtly grating and distracting. And there’s something about the story itself that feels like way too light and cartoony a take on ancient Greek mythology (although it’s not like the ancient Greeks had a particularly heavy or dark mythology, and what else could I expect from Disney, really?). I guess that stories that are so explicitly centered around a young man’s quest for hero-hood and being godlike just don’t speak to me that well, and I didn’t find any of the characters that appeared to be especially memorable or engaging.

I did like the muses and enjoyed their singing but can’t say I love any of the musical numbers. So, I respect the effort and earnestness and general respect for ancient Greek culture that went into Hercules, but my overall reaction is still meh.

Mulan, 1998

I had only seen this movie once before, during a trip with some grad school friends back some years ago. One of my best friends at the time, who was with us on the trip, highly recommended it as pretty much her favorite Disney movie as she especially liked father-daughter stories. At the time, the film didn’t make a particularly strong impression on me, although I could recognize its quality. Watching it again on Disney+ has given me a deeper respect for it as having quite a good story and characterization, fine animation, and pretty decent music. I like both Mulan and Mushu as characters, and I enjoyed their dynamic.

I guess it’s telling, though, that I don’t really have all that much more to say about it. Maybe I don’t relate closely enough, maybe the movie didn’t imprint itself on me at an early enough time in my life, maybe I don’t engage that well with any plot that involves organized warfare, I don’t know. But I think I can only really like this film on a more dispassionate, intellectual level, rather than feeling touched in any kind of resonant way by it.

I think it’s interesting to note that Mulan is actually pretty rare among Disney protagonists in having two parents who survive through the entire story. And that moreover, despite it being billed as a father-daughter story to me (and I’m not denying that it is somewhere at its core), Mulan never directly interacts with her father except at the beginning and the very end.

Anyway... since watching all of these, I’ve been watching the more recent major films sort of sporadically: The Return of Jafar (a favorite of mine at some point in childhood, but with maturity I can now see why it was direct-to-video), The Emperor’s New Groove (quite good, better than expected), the first half of Home on the Range (about as bad as I expected, hence my quitting halfway through), WALL-E (as good as I remembered from when it came out when I was in college), Enchanted (one of my favorites, not on Disney+ so I got it through... other means), The Princess and the Frog (a real treat, slathered with Louisiana flavor), Tangled (sweet but nothing outstanding), Frozen (one of my favorites from seeing it in the theater; however I had never seen the first ten minutes which makes a major difference!), and Frozen II (which I had been sorry to miss in theaters last winter, a bit of a weird story but not bad and absolutely the most stunning animation I’ve ever seen). And, of course, Belle’s Magical World, the infamous mid-quel to Beauty and the Beast; this was not a major film but I just had to see if it was as legendarily bad as people say and, yes, it was.

I’m very glad to have been able to get a break from Netflix by taking a tour through the main history of Disney -- including many childhood memories, would-be childhood experiences, and more modern things from my adulthood -- thanks to Disney+.

[ins0mnia-an0nym0us-au]

re: getting told i have borderline nazi-ideology

I very recently had an interesting experience that I wanted to share.

I use Discord, a communication program that’s main purpose is an instant messaging feature, you can create a server, which can have multiple “rooms” in it for different topics of conversation. It also has various other features, like voice chatting, video-calling, screen-sharing, etc. 

There are lots of uses for it but mainly I use it just to hang out with people. Recently, I started branching out and joining different ‘fandom’ discord servers. I first joined an Arrowverse server, then just a server for people who ship a certain couple on one of the tv shows. 

But then I binged all of Agents of Shield and I wanted to find somewhere to talk about it, make some friends. So I joined a server and it started off pretty great. Everyone was very kind. We all love Marvel and Agents of Shield. 

Here’s where it turns into an experience (SPOILERS FOR AGENTS OF SHIELD) -

In Agents of Shield and the Marvel Universe in general, there is an organization called Hydra, which was founded by Nazis. Agents of Shield deals with Hydra a lot and one of the main cast members turns out to be a member of Hydra hidden within Shield. The actor Brett Dalton seems like an absolute sweetheart, I’ve actually seen him in person at Dragon-Con a few times and he’s one of those actors that refuses to sit behind his table, he stands in front of it to talk to his fans, give hugs, handshakes, etc.

People were talking about how apparently because of him being a Hydra member in the show and saying things like ‘Hail Hydra’ with fans or maybe even randomly (I’m not sure the context of that - if someone asked him to say it with them or whatever), that people cancelled him and that’s why he only does Hallmark movies now. Which is something I find ridiculous for a few reasons. 

Brett Dalton is an actor. He is given a role and he plays it. If that is a good guy or bad guy, it doesn’t matter, he reads the lines and acts the part. The fact that people ask him to repeat lines or certain lines get more famous than others is not his fault. 

This brought into question why certain people would even have ‘Hail Hydra’ as a favorite line. Which was incredibly stupid of a question in my opinion. 

Hydra is an iconic enemy organization within the Marvel Universe

‘Hail Hydra’ is a quick and easy line to say vs longer quotes

It comes from many iconic scenes in the franchise itself - both within comics & the cinematic universe

Then they questioned why anyone would be a fan of Hydra at all when it’s a Nazi run organization - a fictional, Nazi run organization. I pointed that out and they scoffed at that and said it doesn’t matter. So instead I tried the following reasons -

Some people just love to root for the bad guy - no matter how bad

Favorite actors/actresses play the villains

It’s ‘edgey’ to root for the bad guys

In the end they didn’t buy any of that as good enough reasoning and said that deep down every person who was a fan of Hydra must secretly be a Nazi or Nazi sympathizer and that even if Brett Dalton was a nice guy, he shouldn’t go around saying ‘Hail Hydra’ because some Jewish people have stated it makes them uncomfortable. 

Listen, if something makes you uncomfortable, you have the right to say that it does and if it is a good enough reason then maybe that person will change what they are doing, hell, maybe everyone else will agree with you. But I find this entire thing incredibly stupid. If you watch anything from Marvel and expect not to run into something referencing Hydra then you are either naive or incredibly foolish. If Hydra triggers you, if Nazism triggers you, just stay away from Marvel.

“But we should make Marvel available for everyone!”

No, we can’t make everything available for everyone. That is literally impossible. Should some Marvel content have less Nazi references in it for those triggered by it? Sure, I’m sure there is something out there for them. 

But this isn’t even the end of this experience I had on this server. I thought we ended this conversation on good terms. But I’ll never know if they were secretly reporting me to the server owner or not. The next bit is when I was given a ‘warning’ not to open my mouth again on my beliefs or I would be kicked from the server. 

It started when I saw people just saying things like “America is such shit” and “Yeah, America is such garbage” - even the Americans were saying this. Now I’m a proud American but I understand that the media is very influential, so I tried to be diplomatic in my approach. I entered by saying something like - “America definitely has its problems, that’s for sure, but so does every country - still, look how far we’ve come!”

Responses were not kind to that. They were insistent on just pointing out all the flaws in America. From apparently rampant racism, a fascist regime, terrible public education.

I once again tried to approach diplomatically. I simply said that there is racism everywhere, I don’t think I touched the fascist regime comment, and I agreed on the terrible public education comment. Which spiraled into a talk about our public education system. We all pretty much agreed that our public education system is shit… which I still don’t understand how someone can want more government when the government fucks everything they already run up. 

I’m not sure how it went from that to talking about being able to choose who to serve at your business. It’s hard to remember exactly. I just remember the whole Christian Baker thing being brought up but it turns out we were talking about two separate cases. 

They were talking about a case where a baker was contacted by a lesbian couple and that baker released their information to a hate website, later they sued the baker and won. Which - yeah, that baker deserved to be milked for every last dime. 

But I was talking about a baker that was contacted by a gay couple to make a ‘gay cake’ - this baker said no because it was against his religion, and even told them that he doesn’t make Halloween or Anti-American cakes but he’d happily make them other desserts. But they still sued him and originally the gay couple won but it was taken to the Supreme Court and the baker won the suit. I think it’s a good thing the baker won that case. 

No one should be able to tell you who you should or should not serve. If a gay baker is contacted by a homophobic person and is asked to make an anti-LGBTQ+ cake, they should have every right to say “no, I will not.” in the same way a Christian baker should have every right not to make a ‘gay cake’ or a cake covered in penises or an anti-Christ cake. 

Do I think it’s dumb not to make a cake for someone just because it’s gay? Yes. Take the business. In the same way I think if a gay person turns down someone just for being straight it’s dumb. But that is their right. 

But apparently because this is how I believe, I have borderline Nazi ideology and was told that if I didn’t keep my mouth shut when they spout off about politics, I would be kicked from the server. The message I received was laughable at best. All about making a ‘safe-space’ for members of the fandom from all ages, genders and orientations. 

How impressionable young people are around (a few sentences ago it was children - which, there are no children in this server, teenagers, they are teenagers) and that it may influence their minds and opinions in the future - as if their spouting off about how much they hate America and all of their political opinions won’t? The hypocrites. 

Then came the point in the message where I was basically called a Nazi. Which… really? I’m autistic, non-binary, lesbian, with several disabilities. The Nazis would have put me in the front of the line to be executed. The gall these people have to think that I could ever agree with Nazis or Nazism. I’ve been to the Holocaust Memorial Museum in Washington, DC. I’ve watched unfiltered footage from WWII of the Concentration Camps and what they did to people like me. It’s disturbing to me how ignorant these people are of what Nazism actually is but mostly it’s sad because of how intolerant they are of anything but their own point of view.

The final bit of the message was about how I had treated people flippantly despite how they expressed their discomfort. Again - the gall of these fucking people. Not one person ever fucking said they were uncomfortable when we were talking. I would have stopped talking about politics immediately if one person spoke up. They just kept talking, kept responding to my messages, but instead they went and tattled on me to the server owner. 

So, instead of staying in a server where I was told to just sit down and shut up, I messaged the owner back and told them exactly what I just told all of you. I also told them that they are exactly what is wrong with everyone today, why everyone is so divided and why no one talks to each other anymore. That going through life being unable to hear opposing opinions when they don’t do you any harm is a sad way to live. That it did make me sad that they had just assumed the worst in me because I did enjoy my time there, I even spent a solid month editing a photo as a Christmas gift to the server.

I apologized for making anyone uncomfortable but also told them that no one ever said anything. Then told them I won’t apologize for anything else and that I wouldn’t bother sticking around. Why would I? Everyone had been secretly talking about me it seems. No one had the same opinions as me and no one wanted to hear them. What was the point? So I just left the server. 

Being autistic makes it so hard to understand social queues in real life, doing so online is pretty much impossible unless you use emojis that have certain connotations linked to them. I generally have to take people at face value of what they are saying. If no one says that they are uncomfortable - I assume they aren’t. If no one tells me that I’m breaking a rule or doing something wrong, why would I assume differently? Mostly though it hurt me that they all just sat there and decided that I was pretty much a Nazi when I’d been nothing but nice to them. I thought we were becoming friends, some of us anyway. 

It just proves that once more, the crowd of ‘tolerance’ is the least tolerable. Now I have no Agents of Shield server and I miss my almost friends. 

[godsporncollection]

Sunday GC Sessions Summary

(long version) (personal commentary in parenthesis)

M Russell Ballard

List of how the second coming is described followed by a huge list of the very obvious things wrong with the world right now. 

We pray for you. 

Remember to pray. Pray lots, and for lots of people, because the leaders of the world need divine inspiration. 

Quotes the lord's prayer. 

Pray for everyone, even people you don't like. 

(Do deaf people sign their prayers, when praying alone? What about when they pray in small, maybe family, groups?) 

Prayer will help us by making feel better. 

Pray everywhere you go. 

Personal story of being in pain from a surgery on the hand; prayer helped the pain.

Lisa L Harkness

Story of a child jumping into a lake and feeling she needed help, even though she was safe. Sometimes we do this too, because we can't see that we are safe with god. 

Biblical story of JC falling asleep in the boat that entered a storm and the disciples got scared and asked him to save them. 

Recent events can leave us feeling lost and afraid, but we should have faith in god.

Ulisses Soares

Seek JC in every thought and follow him with all our heart. 

Metaphor of magnet + metal object. Magnetic force holds objects tightly, but looses that power when the object is far away. 

Temptation will fade when we continue to resist it. 

JC told JS when in prison "let thy bowels also be full of charity towards all men and women, and to the household of faith, and let virtue garnish thy thoughths unceasingly; then shall thy confidence wax strong in the presence of god. The holy ghost shall be thy constant companion, and thy scepter an unchanging scepter of righteousness and truth." 

If you fall into temptation, there is hope. 

Story of friend who fell into temptation. He was sad. 

Prodigal son story.

Carlos A Godoy

I believe in angels. They're important. Some are here on earth. I'm gonna talk about those. 

I converted at 16, after two angels (sister missionaries) introduced me to the gospel at a church activity. 

I met another angel at youth conference. Her squad became my squad. 

Then I met two other angels; my seminary teacher and young men president. 

"Thanks to all these angels and many others I encountered during those important early years, I received enough srength to remain on the covenant path as I gained a spiritual witness of the truth." 

"Please, please do not give up on your efforts to be part of this big family. It is the true church of JC. When it comes to your happiness and salvation, it is always worth the effort to keep trying. It is worth the effort to adjust your lifestyle and traditions. The lord is aware of the challenges you face. He knows you, he loves you, and I promise he will send angels to help you."

Neil L Andersen

Jc's resume. 

"A recent study revealed that in the last 10 years, 30 million people in the US have stepped away from believing in the divinity of JC. Looking worldwide, another study predicts that in the decades ahead, more than twice as many will leave christianity than those who will embrace it." 

Use the correct name of the church and talk about JC more. We have to talk more about JC because the world is talking about him less.

Russell M Nelson

'Israel' means 'let god prevail'. 

Israel's descendants stoned the prophets. (...) 

My grandkid's wife was sad that her father was dying, but I told her she was being near-sighted. She felt better after looking at the big picture of god's plan. 

I greive for black people. 

(I can't listen to any more of this asshole, sorry.)

AFTERNOON SESSION 

Henry B Eyring

"My hope is to give encouragement when life seems especially difficult and uncertain. For some of you, that time is now. If not, such a time will come." 

Personal story of pulling weeds as a child and the frustration of the weeds breaking instead of coming out. Mother said "oh, Hal, of course it's hard; it's supposed to be. Life is a test." 

Story of us choosing to come to earth and satan disagreeing and getting followers. "Now, he tries to cause as many as he can to turn away from god during this mortal life." In the spirit world, we must have decided that whatever hardships we were going to face, "the forces of good would be overwhelmingly greater." 

Two quotes that say that god will be with us, and will help us, even in our darkest hours. 

God occasionally shows me the next couple of steps, but never a glimpse of the far future. 

Also, we need to help others. 

Another story of mother, who "all her life, she felt effects of the trials of illness. In her last 10 years of life, she required multiple operations. But through all, she proved faithful to the lord." "The last speaker [at her funeral] was elder Spencer W Kimball. After saying something of her trials and her faithfulness, he said essentially this: 'some of you may wonder why Mildred had to suffer so much and so long. I will tell you why. It was because the lord wanted to polish her a little more."

Jeremy R Jaggi

My youngest brother died two years ago. "We found comfort in the words of elder Neil L Anderson in general conference the week before Chad died: 'In the crucible of earthly trials, patiently move forward, and the savior's healing power will bring you light, understanding, peace, and hope.'" We'll be with him again, but losing him hurt. 

James 1:2. 

We thought 2020 would be all joy. Shit happened, but we're determined to see joy in this year anyway. 

Chapter 6 of 'Preach My Gospel'. 

"Blessed are the meek (etc)". 

Many unsourced quotes saying that the more you seek/follow/believe in JC, the happier you will be. 

Daughter, Emma, is a missionary. "[Emma] asked us to connect [online] with friends she was teaching [in the Netherlands]... We invited them to join our weekly online... study... All have become our friends." They've all converted. 

Nelson recently said "Voluntary fast offerings from our members have increased, as well as voluntary contributions to our humanitarian funds." 

"My brother Chad's passing came just a few months after our release from presiding over the Utah Ogden mission... Of all the 417 missions we could have been assigned to, we were assigned to... a 30-minute drive to Chad's home. Chad's cancer was diagnosed after we received our mission assignment. Even in the most trying circumstance, we knew that our heavenly father was mindful of us."

Gary E Stevenson

I was serving a mission in Japan. Kimball was speaking in Tokyo. I wanted to go. It was a long commute, so the mission president said no, but the rest of the branch went, so we were alone. Kimball announced a temple in Tokyo. I was disappointed to miss it. 

This is like the even deeper disappointment people today experience due to covid. 

How do we move forward? Consider the first verse of the BoM. 

Wife and I met online with many missionaries who still managed to do lots of ministering, despite covid restrictions. 

Think of "JS, languishing in Liberty Jail, feeling abandoned and forsaken, then hearing the words of the lord: 'these things shall be for thy good' and 'god shall be with you forever.'" 

"We, too, can draw parallels, as individual members and as a church, in the way in which we have been highly favored of the lord during the challenging times we have encountered during the past several months." 

"Let [these examples] strengthen your testimony of the seership of our living prophet, who prepared us with adjustments before any hint of a pandemic, enabling us to endure the challenges that have come." 

List of ways that we have been told to prepare. 

Story of a young woman who was just barely able to go to the temple right before leaving for her mission.

Milton Da Rocha Camargo

Gave his entire backstory before getting around to the topic: prayer. 

"An important part of heavenly father's plan is the opportunity to communicate with him anytime we want." 

"Every one that asketh, receiveth (etc)." 

"Recording our impressions is an important part of receiving. It helps us recall, review, and re-feel what the lord is teaching us." 

I like it when I have strong feelings after praying, but, more often, we're likely to hear the "still, small voice of the lord whispering to our mind and heart, 'I am here. I love you.'" 

"Revelation often comes when we are in the act of doing good."

Dale G Renlund

Can I be a better person? 

And "how can I, as a flawed person, qualify to 'dwell with god in a state of never-ending happiness'?" 

"Good deeds are not sufficient. Salvation is not earned... Left to our own devices, the prospect of returning to live in god's presence is hopeless. Without the blessings that come from heavenly father and JC, we can never do enough or be enough by ourselves... Because of and through JC, we can become enough." 

"We can be redeemed and stand clean and pure before god" by the ordinances of the gospel. 

"Do justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with thy god." 

*Jewish appropriation* 

Story of someone who had to remind someone "Dr. Jones, you became a physician to care for people and work to heal them. You didn't become a physician to judge them [on a self-infilcted wound]. If you don't understand the difference, you have no right to train at [Johns Hopkins Hospital, Baltimore, MD]." 

Don't think you're above others. 

"To be christlike, a person loves mercy... gracious, kind and honorable. These individuals treat everyone with love and understanding, regardless of characteristics such as race, gender, religious affiliation, sexual orientation, socioeconomic status, and tribal, clan, or national differences."

Kelly R Johnson

Story of daughter who set the microwave to cook [instead of timer] for 30 min. It caught on fire. This is because microwaves need something in them to absorb the energy. 

"Our entire microwave went up in flames and burned because there was nothing on the inside. Likewise, those who have faith and the word of god deep in their hearts will be able to absorb and overcome the fiery darts which the adversary will surely send to destroy us." 

(As someone raised with a fire extiniguisher in the kichen, I feel the sudden urge to suggest this to anyone with children) 

(I have no idea what else he said because he used the word 'power' 34 times in his short talk, and it lost all meaning)

Jeffrey R Holland

Covid sucks and it's going on too long. 

We want to know when our struggles will be over. 

I'm now speaking about "those who would like to be married and aren't or who are married and with their marriage were a little more celestial. I speak of those who have to deal with the unwanted appearance of a serious medical condition, perhaps an uncurable one. Or face a life long battle with a genetic defect that has no remedy. I speak of the continuing struggle with emotional and mental health challenges that weigh heavily on the souls of so many who suffer with them and on the hearts of those who suffer with them. I speak of the poor, whom the savior told us never to forget. I speak of you, waiting for the return of a child no matter what the age, who has chosen a path different from the one you prayed he or she would take." Plus economic, political,and social concerns. 

Your prayers "are heard and they are answered, though perhaps not at the time or in the way that we wanted." They'll be answered when and how god thinks they should be. 

We shouldn't ask for a stress-free life; struggles make us worthy to live with god.

Russell M Nelson

"We live in a glorious age, foreseen by prophets for centuries... Despite the world's commotion, the lord would have us look toward the future with joyful anticipation... The gathering of Israel moves forward. The lord JC directs the affairs of his church and it will achieve it's divine objectives. The challenge for you and me is to make certain that each of us will achieve his or her divine potential." 

Let JC be your 'new normal' by "repenting daily. Seek to be increasingly pure in thought, word, and deed. Minister to others. Keep an eternal perspective. Magnify your callings. And... live each day so that you are more prepared to meet your maker." 

Six new temples: Tarawa, Kiribati; Port Vila, Vanuato; Lindon, Utah; Greater Guatamala; Sao Paulo East, Brazil; and Santa Cruz, Bolivia.

[aboutcaseyaffleck]

Actor Casey Affleck Reflects On The Past And 'The World To Come'

The last time I saw Casey Affleck was after an 8:30 a.m. Sundance Film Festival screening of “Manchester by the Sea,” which left my colleagues and I so emotionally drained we were pretty much useless for the rest of the day. Affleck finds this very funny. “Oh man, that’s awesome,” he laughs. “That was a tough screening. At Sundance I’m usually just going to sleep at 8 a.m.” We’re talking on the phone a few days after the festival’s virtual premiere of his latest movie, “The World to Come,” which made its Sundance debut last month under very different circumstances. “It’s so strange doing these things sitting in front of your computer,” he sighs.

Directed by Mona Fastvold, “The World to Come” is a powerful period piece about a forbidden love affair between pioneer women played by Katherine Waterston and Vanessa Kirby, set in upstate New York during the early months of 1856. Affleck produced the picture, in which he plays a supporting role as Waterston’s uncomprehending husband, and he did his best to soldier through a crowded Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening, with results pleasant enough, but nonetheless missing that in-person festival magic. “I used to love going to film festivals and talking to journalists and seeing all the movies and talking to other filmmakers,” he laments. “Sitting here alone in a little office in my house is such a drag. But it was nice to know that the movie was getting seen, at least.”

While big brother Ben plays Batman in studio pictures, Casey has exhibited a restless independent streak ever since he was a student at Cambridge Rindge and Latin School. (Our ninth-grade classes competed against each other in the Mass. High School Drama Guild Competition. His won, perhaps unsurprisingly.) A longtime friend of the Brattle Theatre and former creative advisor for the Independent Film Festival Boston, the younger Affleck has always seemed more at home in indies. Not a lot of actors would follow an Oscar-winning role in “Manchester by the Sea” with a microbudget art film like “A Ghost Story.” But then his internalized, minimalist acting style is often at odds with the concerns of contemporary blockbusters. There’s a weird dissonance watching something like Disney’s hokey Chatham sea adventure “The Finest Hours,” with Affleck going full Montgomery Clift while surrounded by CGI silliness.

“The World to Come” is the most ambitious project yet from Affleck’s Sea Change Media, which partnered with Pamela Koffler and Christine Vachon’s legendary NYC indie institution Killer Films for the arduous production that began with a conversation between Affleck and novelist Ron Hansen nearly a decade ago. “When I did ‘The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford’ I got to know Ron Hansen, just because I loved the book so much. Ron has a very unique talent for writing 19th century language. He’s just from another era. I asked him if he had something he wanted to work on together, and I thought he would send me one of his things. Instead, he sent me this story by Jim Shepard. It was beautiful. I said, why don’t you and Jim write the script? And they took about six years, but it came together beautifully. Good things come to those who wait, I guess.”

The film eventually shot in Romania with a break built into the schedule to accommodate the changing seasons that are so crucial to the movie’s rugged, outdoor textures. “We were way out in Transylvania, out in the mountains,” Affleck explains. “We were just in some valley and they built a couple of farmhouses. I like being far away in a new place. It makes you feel outside of your life. And I love working in weather. There are so many aspects of moviemaking that are artificial, but when there’s extreme weather, it’s real. I did this Disney movie about a boat rescue, and it was, like, December in friggin’ Quincy and they were just soaking us with water every single take. There’s not a lot that you have to quote-unquote act. You’re just standing there, teeth-chattering, shivering, just being.” This reminds me of the scene in “Manchester” when he and Lucas Hedges have an argument walking in the blistering cold and can’t remember where they parked. “I forgot about that one,” he laughs.

I’d never say so on the phone, but I consider Affleck’s performance as Lee Chandler in “Manchester by the Sea” among the finest I’ve seen in my 22 years of reviewing films, worthy of discussion alongside Brando’s Terry Malloy in “On the Waterfront” in its aching, inchoate longing. Lee holds his grief somewhere very private and dear, as if to begin to forgive himself would be an act of betrayal. The movie nails a gruff, emotional constipation popular among men of a certain stripe, especially in New England. (My mother offered my favorite review of the film: “Why don’t they just talk to each other? Jesus, this is like watching you and your father.”) Words don’t come easily to most of Affleck’s movie characters, but he chafes at the description of them as inarticulate. “It’s funny, I find the characters in ‘Manchester’ to be sometimes very articulate,” he argues. “There’s misunderstandings, but they end up communicating what’s inside.”

“The World to Come” is rife with such mixed signals and miscommunications, about which co-star Katherine Waterston raved during the Zoom Q&A after the Sundance screening. “It was so much fun to play the scenes with Casey,” she said. “A lot of these scenes are written as dances, where somebody tries to reach out and engage and they’re misunderstood. Inarticulacy is a very interesting thing to see in film. The failed attempts. Failed communications. It’s actually fun to play those things. You don’t know what the other person’s going to throw at you. It keeps it really alive on set. Mona and I felt if we had the money we could have kept shooting this thing for months, because the scenes were so much fun to explore.”

Affleck agrees. “When Katherine’s character writes in her journal or she starts talking to Vanessa, they have this beautiful, expressive way of speaking to each other,” he enthuses, whereas his character “says what he’s gotta say in as few words as possible. He’s very brusque and curt, which I enjoyed. The way that he talks is the communication equivalent when he gives her a birthday gift of sardines and a tin of raisins.”

Indeed, her increasingly florid diary entries — originally intended as a ledger to keep track of the farm’s monthly expenses — become the heartbeat of the film, providing an emotional release otherwise suppressed by the rigid formality of the era and the ugly drudgery of day-to-day farm life. “The World to Come” is ultimately a movie about the need to share our stories, and how through telling them we make sense of ourselves. As producer Koffler explains in the press notes, “Part of the film’s vision is to dramatize a very basic human impulse: to create, to connect, to say ‘I was here, and I mattered.’”

This has become a recurring theme in Affleck’s recent work. In 2019, he wrote, directed and starred in “Light of My Life,” a little-seen but strikingly tense post-apocalyptic road movie about a father and daughter hiding out in the wilderness after a pandemic has wiped out most of the women in the world. The film begins with Affleck telling the little girl a bedtime story that runs almost 13 minutes and sneakily sets up the movie’s major themes. Then in last month’s well-acted but regrettably soggy “Our Friend,” he starred as real-life journalist Matthew Teague, whose soul-baring Esquire story about his wife’s struggle with cancer became a national phenomenon.

“Matt Teague wrote that article and then wanted it made into a movie as his way of processing everything that had happened,” the actor elaborates. “You transform pain into other things as you go through life. That was all him working through it. I like stories about storytellers and I like stories within stories. Obviously, I wrote and directed a movie that starts with a 12-minute bedtime story. I love that. I know that other people don’t love it as much as I do, so I have to be careful about it.”

That kind of love led to last summer’s “Stories From Tomorrow,” a project initiated during lockdown by Affleck and his schoolteacher mom Christine, encouraging children to send in poems and short stories to be read on social media by celebrities like Matt Damon and Jon Hamm, as well as his “The World to Come” co-stars Waterston and Kirby. “That was something I started out at the very beginning of the quarantine as a small project to encourage kids to write creatively, because I know it can be a great way of processing anxiety and working through feelings that you aren’t really talking about or aren’t aware that you’re having. It wasn’t something I thought would go on forever; once the kids are back in school that ought to be where they should be doing all that kind of work. But while they were sitting at home, I thought it would be a good way to get their attention off the awful news and into something more imaginative. And I also got a chance to read all these super-cool stories! Really creative stuff that kids sent from all around the world.”

Finally, as a Boston publication it would be dereliction of duty not to mention the hysterical Dunkin Donuts commercial parody from when Affleck hosted “Saturday Night Live” in 2016, so dead-on in its depiction of a local 'regulah customah' that on one of my critics’ poll ballots that year I tried to nominate the sketch for Best Documentary. Alas, the performer shoots down a pet theory I’ve been hanging onto ever since, that the dirtbag Boston guy in the Bruins hat is secretly a grown-up version of Affleck’s scene stealing, bug-swallowing Morgan from “Good Will Hunting.”

“I hadn’t thought about that, dude. That’s really funny. It never crossed my mind." He pauses before confiding, "I wasn’t that great on SNL… I just wasn’t all that funny on the skits, because it’s live and you’re reading the cue cards and it was my first time. But when we went to make that little pre-recorded short film of the Dunkin’ Donuts ad, I really felt like that was my wheelhouse there. I could’ve played that character in a movie. I could have gone to work and played him every single day, and I would have had a blast. That was really fun to do. I would love to do another one of those. That would be funny to see that character again.”

I bet that guy’s got some stories.

“The World To Come” is now in theaters and will be available via video on demand Tuesday, March 2.

[source]

[ohlayarfp]

Film Review - Misteri Dilaila by Syafiq Yusof

Misteri Dilaila is a Malaysian horror thriller film that went viral in 2019. I rarely watch Malaysian films because when i do, it’s usually the same plot all over again. Drama, romance, action, comedy and everyone’s favourite, Horror. I feel like these genres are the usuals everywhere but what makes it unbearable for most of us Malaysians is how similar every story is. Rich boy meets a poor girl. Rich boy falls in love with her and when they get married the mother hates the poor girl. They fight and one day someone dies and the end. For horror, it’s just about some people getting haunted by a ghost that was sent by a close friend of theirs.

The thing I understand about the horror hype for Malaysians is how our culture is deeply rooted with mystical beliefs and as religious as we tend to be, ghost stories seem to intertwine with our faith for countless years. Personally, I believe in Asian ghosts more than the western versions. This is probably due to my own family having our fair share of sights into the world of the undead. 

The reason why I chose to talk about this film is because of how disappointed I felt when I watched it. Unlike most Malaysian films, it had the potential to be a great one. The look of the film was far better than the usual ones we got and the story building had a Gone Girl vibe. What made me disappointed was the fact that while watching that film I was hopeful and excited thinking finally a Malaysian Filmmaker is making a psychological horror instead of those in your face jump scares. 

The story is about a married couple, Jefri and Dilaila, who were spending their holiday together at a luxury vacation home in Fraser’s Hill. After a petty issue where they end up quarrelling at each other, Jefri discovers his wife went missing the following morning. Next thing he knows, a mysterious woman who also goes by the name of Dilaila shows up one night where she claims to be his wife. Adding more confusion is the supernatural occurrences that regularly haunts Jefri whenever he’s alone in the house.

Throughout the whole film, I was at the edge of my seat thinking that there’s finally a malaysian filmmaker that is about to introduce a character with a mental illness as the protagonist which would’ve justified his hallucinations of the ghost. Unfortunately, it was just like other films where there’s no actual context to the sightings, they were just ghosts being ghosts and haunting him for no reason. Well that’s for the 2nd version of the film.

Another fun fact about this film is that it went viral due to the alternate endings it has. When the film came out in the cinemas, people were surprised to hear that they had different endings when they discussed it with their friends. This was purely the filmmaker and his team’s intention. Different halls have different endings and this was meant to be a surprise for the audiences. It was a great marketing strategy and considered as a genius way of thinking for some people while some were mad that they were being ripped off. 

*SPOILERS AHEAD*

As a person that watched both versions, I was unsatisfied with both versions as both endings angered me. Nevertheless, I didn’t think it’s an absolute flop though. Both versions have the fair share of plot twists. The first version revealed that the protagonist we thought all along was the actual antagonist. He was the one that killed his own wife whilst every supporting character was a part of the police team that were acting to make him confess to his wrong doings. It was then stated that the hallucinations he got was a result of his guilt and him being under the influence of drugs all along.

The second version on the other hand is more mystical. The ghosts made more appearances in this version. The protagonist is still the good guy but the inspector that was involved in the case turned out to be a fake policeman and he was working with the imposter Dilaila. Towards the end, Jef found out that his wife has been dead a long time ago and the ‘wife’ he was holding turns out to be something else (this we never see on screen though). 

Personally if i were to choose an ending, I would choose the 1st version as it makes more sense logically but I can understand why people love the 2nd Version.  Malaysians and their thirst for horror films explains the statistics. But a famous film reviewer on YouTube (ZhafVlogs) once made an instagram poll and asked his subscribers to choose between the two versions and surprisingly it was a tie. This proves that the director made the right decision to come up with alternate endings. 

*END OF SPOILERS*

The film then landed in a controversy within the next few weeks after the premiere. Someone noticed that the story was awfully familiar. It was then proven that the story was 90% similar to a few films from India, America, Russia and more. People were comparing it to a film called “Vanishing Act” and they were right. 

As a film student, I am aware about the concept of adaptation so I personally see no wrong in the filmmaker’s act. However, I can understand why people are mad. The filmmaker went silent once news got out about him “stealing” the idea and “claiming” the story as his. But based on my research, I never found him claiming the story as his before. Although, he also never mentioned about him making a remake of the initial film as well. The filmmaker went silent for a long time and people kept sending him hate comments but soon died after a few months. 

A year later, the issue was raised yet again by someone and this caused the filmmaker to finally speak up. He explains the concept of adaptation and how he was inspired by a scriptwriting book called Save The Cat which said that “A good artist copy, but a great artist steals”. He also states about there being so many films abroad that have the similar concept to an older film such as Fast and Furious with Point Break, Avatar with Pocahontas and Inception with Paprika. He finally came clean and stated that he was inspired by a stage play from France called “A Trap for a Lonely Man”. He then added his own twist by adding some horror elements knowing that it being the target audience favourite genre.

Also regarding the quote from Save The Cat, (in my opinion) I feel like what the author was implying is about ‘stealing’ stories from life. Not stealing the exact plot codes from other films. This is based on my understanding from the phrase which I assume Syafiq may have misinterpreted it.

He raised logical points from a filmmaker’s perspective and he also raised some issues about being pressured from his father (Yusof Haslam) and brother (Syamsul Yusof) who were well known filmmakers as well. He said that everyone kept on telling him to be better than his father and brother. Sadly, when he was at his lowest, even his family turned their backs on him and said that it’s fully his fault. 

From my point of view, I was initially furious with him for not being able to defend himself by explaining about the adaptation because I feel like most Malaysian audiences are unaware about it. People assume adaptation is from book to film when it's more than that. I, myself, learnt that from film school. And I’m not entirely defending him as well, I’m still disappointed in him for not speaking up sooner. But I do empathise with him as well. The audience were quick to attack him. The film industry in Malaysia is not entirely in the best state for these past few years. So a film like Misteri Dilaila made everyone hopeful for more quality films like it only to be betrayed at the end when they found out that it wasn’t his own creative idea and a total rip off. I still feel like he did a good job with his visuals which was an improvement from the local films around that time.

Reading through the whole issue and looking at how this decision to “copy” the plot codes as he was inspired from the Save The Cat book has opened my eyes. As a filmmaker, I feel like i should always do research before starting on a project and the best thing is to always be honest with our intentions. If it’s inspired by a remake, then set it straight and give credit to the original piece. Don’t keep it to yourself. It is terrifying though, being in his state where everyone turned their backs on him, even his own family. He released a few films after that, saying that film is his job and that it is his source of income so as much as it may seem hard sometimes, life still goes on. Sadly, he received a lot of backlash and people lost their faith in him. People were being sarcastic and teasing him if the film was even his.Seeing that happened to him opened my eyes. People may let it slide but they’ll never forget. Once you screw up, people will remember and use it against you. 

Pictures of the set:

Links to Film Reviews:

A Non-Horror Fan's Guide To Watching 'Misteri Dilaila'

https://rojakdaily.com/entertainment/article/6414/a-non-horror-fan-s-guide-to-watching-misteri-dilaila

Misteri Dilaila (2019) Review

https://www.caseymoviemania.com/2019/02/misteri-dilaila-2019-review/

Movie review: Misteri Dilaila

https://www.thesundaily.my/style-life/reviews/movie-review-misteri-dilaila-DJ649603

Link to news about the controversy :

Is Local Horror Film ‘Misteri Dilaila’ a Rip Off? Here’s What The Director Had To Say..

https://juiceonline.com/is-local-horror-film-misteri-dilaila-a-rip-off-heres-what-the-director-had-to-say/

Horror fans slam ‘Misteri Dilaila’ for ripping off Hollywood film ‘Vanishing Act’

https://www.malaymail.com/news/showbiz/2019/03/05/horror-fans-slam-misteri-dilaila-for-ripping-off-hollywood-film-vanishing-a/1729154

Clarification/Statement by the Director about the issue (in Malay);

https://www.facebook.com/photo?fbid=649749852534594&set=pcb.649750949201151

[purplesurveys]

1102

survey by joybucket

What color are your eyes? They are dark brown. They’re actually really more of black because of how dark they are, but that sounds creepy so let’s just go with really really dark brown.

What's your favorite type of milk? I don’t take a lot of milk and am not familiar with most of them.

What's your passion? What a deep, introspective question three questions into this survey lmao. My interests are always changing so I don’t really give much thought into this. I don’t let myself be bound to just one thing.

What's your favorite color? I really like the way baby pink looks on everything.

Are you shy? Sure, but I’m trying to break out of that shell. Based from hundreds of past experiences, being shy is the easiest way to be forgettable and I’m tired of people never remembering my name or anything about me.

What is/was your favorite school subject? History. Anything about it I will surely enjoy.

Do you celebrate Christmas? Yes.

What's your favorite quote? I don’t keep track of quotes.

What is your natural hair color? It’s black.

Do you like it? There’s nothing to complain about. I’d love to have it dyed just to try out something new with my look, because it’s been black and untouched for 23 years; I guess it’s just a matter of when I’ll push through with it.

Are you happy with the way you look? I wish some aspects were different, like my hair to be less frizzy, my front teeth to be straight, my eyesight to be clearer, etc. But it’s also whatever; I don’t really focus on these things too much as I’ve never been the type of person to concentrate on my physical looks.

What would you change about your appearance if you could? ^ Well, those things I listed. Also, to have boobs?? Puberty never did anything for me in that department.

What would you change about your bedroom if you could? I’d move the bed up against the wall because that’s always been more my vibe. If I had the energy, I’d buy a storage container and place all Gab-related stuff in there so I can finally hide away those things (but not entirely throw them out). I would also fix my closet, all three sections of it. I’d also love to get a homey and soothing night lamp and be able to regularly buy scented candles to de-stress at the end of the day. In other news, my room has remained stale for so long and needs a revamp HAHAHA.

Are you rich or poor? I’d say we are in the middle, but our financial situation throughout Covid has been making me increasingly worry.

Are you double jointed? Nope.

What's the most physically painful thing you've ever experienced? The time I ripped my ear piercing, and my foot infection from snorkeling. Also getting my blood drawn, but that’s only because I’m a big baby when it comes to sharp things.

Do you like shots? See above.

Are you afraid of spiders? Our spiders are never too large or look menacing where I live, so not really. I’m aware of how big they can get in other places though so I totally understand the widespread hatred for spiders lol.

Have you ever had an allergic reaction to something? Not sure if it’s an allergy, but my legs quickly get irritated if they’re exposed in a grassy area for too long. My face also doesn’t seem to appreciate face masks, (the skincare kind), but I’m not sure if that’s an allergic reaction or if face masks are meant to do that.

Name a food that you like that's green. Green curry, or broccoli.

Do you like to read? Yes. More of non-fiction, though. I haven’t read a fiction book since I wasssss probably in middle school or early high school.

Do you know what your purpose in life is? No. I don’t stress out over stuff like this lol, I just make sure I’m happy where I am and at the same time, still feel fulfilled with the things I’m doing. 

Are you lonely? I can be, but I guess it’s just meant to happen sometimes.

What's something you are good at? Reading people. Sometimes to my benefit, sometimes otherwise.

What's a color that looks great on you? Olive green and maroon are my favorite shades.

What's something you would like to improve at? Being creative. My work requires a lot of it and I end up being a shitty teammate whenever we have to do brainstorming, because I literally just stay to the side, unable to think of anything.

Do you believe you have great potential? Yes.

What's one word to describe you? Right now? Tired.

Are you spiritual? Nope.

What's one thing that you get a lot of compliments on? My writing.

What's one hidden talent that you have? I dunno if it counts as a talent but I memorize a great deal of songs from Jay-Z and Kanye’s Watch the Throne album, which has always been a fun ‘talent’ to whip out and surprise friends with when we’re partying at a club/bar and a song from the album is suddenly played.

What are three girls' names that you really like? I love Olivia, Mia, and Harper. I’ve probably listed those names a thousand times on these surveys by now.

What are three boys' names that you really like? I like Liam, Mason, and Lucas.

What is the most beautiful scenery you have ever beheld?  The prettiest place I’ve been to was probably Palawan.

What is your favorite pizza topping? Just cheese is fine with me. If that doesn’t count, bell peppers come second. I can definitely live without the other usual toppings like pepperoni, beef, etc.

Name a food that you like that's red. I said green curry in the green foods question, and I’ll answer red curry here, haha.

Are you color blind? Nope.

Have you ever had a crush? Yes.

Can you type fast? I can and I do on a daily basis.

What's your favorite type of cereal? Erm, I’ve never tried them before but I’m drawn to cereals that are rather sweet lol, like Reese’s Puffs or Hershey’s Kisses cereal line. The thing is, they’re classified as one of the luxury imported brands over here so their prices are very unreasonable for a box of cereal, and I never get to have them as a result. Otherwise I don’t enjoy cereal too much.

What is one of your dreams? I would love to have a family.

What are your top three favorite colors? Baby pink, white, and mustard yellow.

What is your favorite book? I don’t have one.

What is your favorite amusement park ride? Ones that would provide enough thrill but won’t make me pass out, like the octopus.

What are three middle names you wouldn't mind having? Idk, I’m fine with my second name. I actually really like the name Isabelle and at one point I unsuccessfully tried to make it my main name, back when I still hated Robyn.

Are you flexible? Not really anymore. I used to be, kind of.

Do you consider yourself religious? Not at all. I haven’t been in around five years. I’ve been atheist since I was in the 4th grade, then I had this very sudden (but very brief) change of heart back in senior year when I started praying a lot. I went back to atheism as soon as I started university.

Are you bold? I can be, but it’s not one of my principal traits.

Are you spontaneous? It’s nice to be every once in a while, but I’m not always.

Do you have a significant other? No.

What's your pet peeve? Lateness.

How tall are you? Just a little over 5 feet, which does not classify me as tall at all.

What's your sexual orientation? Demi. I’ve also been increasingly self-identifying as asexual, so let’s go with that too.

Can you sing? Nope.

Can you dance? Nope, but I still do it when I’m alone.

Can you draw? No.

Do you play an instrument? I mean, just the recorder, but I don’t know if that counts.

What school subject do you hate the most? Chemistry. I struggled with it both in high school and in college. I hated physics and geometry too, but at least I got better at them as I got older. Chemistry is just far too complicated for me to appreciate.

What's your least favorite color? Most shades of yellow and neon green.

Do you eat healthy? I wouldn’t say I exclusively eat healthily, but I do keep a good balance in the food I consume. I enjoy my junk food as much as I like eating vegetables.

Do you think you look better with short or long hair? I’d say short.

What's a color that doesn't look good on you? White.

Are you passionate? Sure.

Are you doing the most you can with your life? Right now, with the world falling apart around me? I definitely try to. I have a great job, I spoil myself and try out new things for myself every now and then, I’ve pulled myself out from the rut I used to be in a few months ago, etc. I guess I can say I like where I am.

Are you proud of yourself for the way you are living? See above.

Do you love yourself? I've started taking a couple of steps down that path.

Do you have regrets? Sure.

Do you have wishes and dreams? Of course.

Do you have a huge secret you are keeping from the world? I suppose so.

Do you have neat handwriting? Yeah, I get quite a lot of compliments on my penmanship in general. I liked practicing my writing as soon as I learned how to properly hold a pencil, so I guess all those times served as good training.

Name a current favorite song. I dunno but Hayley is set to release a new album by tomorrow so a couple of songs from there will most definitely end up being a favorite.

List a song lyric that you like. “Can you live with what you know about yourself when you're all alone, behind closed doors?”

Are you happy? I think so. I’m definitely not as sad as I used to be.

Are you a generally optimistic person? I try to be, but I allow myself to be negative or realistic sometimes.

Have you ever had something horrible happen to you? Between deaths in the family, depression and other mental health issues, and personal life events that were less than nice, absolutely.

Have you ever been abused? Sure.

Have you ever been harassed and/or bullied? I was bullied as a kid because of my name, and as a result it was difficult to make friends for years. I’ve never been harassed though.

Do you love nature? Yes, I love being around nature when I get the chance.

Are you free-spirited? I wouldn’t consider myself that. I like being on the careful side when it comes to many things.

Are you carefree? Not really. 

Would you say you are an overcomer? Yup.

Are you a good friend? I hope I am.

Do you like animals? Love them, except insects.

Do you meditate? No. I actually tried yoga for the first time yesterday because that’s what my workout app had planned for me, but I quickly learned that I am way too impatient for it, lmao. The whole session was meant to be I think 30 minutes? but I quit by like the 14-minute mark and did another program. Idk, I guess it’s just not for me.

Do you pray? No.

What month were you born in? April.

What's your favorite season? We don’t have the usual four seasons but I’m gonna go ahead and say winter because it’s what appeals to me most.

What's one place you've been to that you want to visit again? I want to keep coming back to Sagada.

What's one place you want to go that you've never visited before? Thailand.

What's your favorite type of tree? I don’t have one.

Are you laid-back? I tend to be uptight most of the time, actually.

Are you hard on yourself? Yes.

How's your self-esteem? It’s been getting better, but sometimes I still can’t help but feel insecure.

What medical conditions do you/have you had? Scoliosis.

What are you allergic to? I have had itchy, irritable reactions to face masks and grass before, but not sure if they’re allergies.

Do you like to try new things? For sure, as long as it’s not a crime or if it involves my fears lmfao. Like I would be willing to skydive or dye my hair a strange color, but I’d never scheme a burglary or jump in a tub of cockroaches.

What's one word to describe your style? Chic.

What's one word to describe your bedroom? Plain. I definitely need to mix it up so that it can feel more like who I am.

What's one thing you like about yourself? I like that I’ve always been able to surpass difficulties and come out a better person from them, instead of letting them consume me.

What's one thing you dislike about yourself? I need to stop blaming myself for things out of my control.

Are you competitive? To a fault.

Are you faithful? Sure.

Can you cook? Hell no.

What's your favorite restaurant? Ramen Nagi.

[harcourtholmesii]

Fragmented (Chapter II)

(Warnings: Depictions of Violence, Referenced Self-Harm, Potentially Uncomfortable Imagery and Referenced Nudity.)

THROUGH THE LOOKING GLASS

‘DO YOU REMEMBER ME?’

 Remus would hardly consider the question or how it was phrased an issue. He had never been one to get offended, concerned or disgusted easily. Hell, he was the Duke after all, and all intrusive and mature thoughts were his domain. It took a lot to get to him.

 The question was not exactly threatening, and neither was the fact that Remus had seen this question drawn many times before. He had found it once in his sketch book after he had a mental blank, and once again, drawn into the dirt after he passed out from his failed invasion of Roman’s territory. No, he had never really been concerned with it.

 Not until now.

 He looked between the pair of scissors in his hands and the scratched message in his full-length mirror. It was cut deep into the glass, uneven and unnervingly cryptic. The scissors had been worn down to a blunt edge, Remus’ hands aching with strain. His hand was shaking, bruising and locking up from what he had apparently done. His mind had trailed off, lost in thought. It couldn’t have been too long, certainly not any more than a few seconds, but in that time he had all but blunted his scissors down to half their size, and marred a good portion of his already chipped mirror.

 Attempting to will away the writing proved fruitless, as it had been a mark made in their ‘physical’ Mindscape, and not something conjured. He just didn’t understand. Sure, Dee-Dee had been telling him he had been having some quiet episodes, where he seemed completely out of it. ‘Mindless’ and ‘highly suggestible’ was what Janus told him, and Remus trusted his scaled friend not to abuse this state.

 What was happening to him?

 Was he drunk? Could Sides even get drunk? He would have to test that theory. He was sure Logan would be proud of him for experimenting.

 His thoughts turned back to the writing on the mirror, and how his hand was outstretched towards it. He let his fingers gently trace the sharp abrasions in the glass surface, trying to just wrap his mind around it and what it was doing there in the first place. He had blissfully ignored all of the previous questions, scrapping the paper from his book and brushing the dirt away, but this wasn’t the same thing.

 Well, it could be gotten rid of. Smashing the mirror was not exactly off the table, but whatever was doing this, he wasn’t entirely certain if ignoring it was the best course of action. It shook him that he was even considering giving this… whatever, even a moment of thought, but he couldn’t just keep overlooking these episodes forever. What if it got worse? It would be cool to see what he would do next, but he didn’t want to wake up from an episode having carved the question into Janus’ face.

 He couldn’t be certain how long he was staring at the mirror, but it was long enough that Janus had deemed it a good idea to check on him. There was a polite knock on the door, Remus’ eyes turning to peer over at the chipped and stained wood of his door. Stains that probably should have been cleaned off a while ago added ‘character’, he would like to argue. Within the past few months though, with Janus making periodic trips to the Light side, Remus had felt the urge to do more for Janus, including cleaning his room and his door for him so the other wouldn’t be so disgusted upon entering.

 “Remus.” His smooth voice cut through the Duke’s mind, pulling his attention back to the other’s immediate presence outside the door. “Are you not alright? You’ve been in there for some time and I haven’t heard something smash yet.”

 He knew him too well.

 “I’m fine, Dee. Just…” He glanced back to his mess of a mirror, and the room surrounding him. He skipped over, leaping across his bed like a feline, landing in front of the door and opening it wide, being sure to put himself between Janus and the view of his mirror. Didn’t need to worry his poor head off! For good measure, he tucked the blunted scissors behind his back, their cold weight heavy in his hand.

 “I was just thinking.”

 “A dangerous pastime.”

 “I know.” He chuckled, returning the quote as easily as the other had started it. The two of them shared a smile, Remus feeling something in his shrivelled heart stir. It felt as if someone was playing his heartstrings like a fucking harp, plucking them ever so softly. He wondered if a heart like that would spray a small mist of blood every time it was plucked. He shook his head of the thought.

 “Can I help you with anything, J-Anus?” The other cringed at the use of the nickname, Remus biting the inside of his lip. That was probably not the best thing to say. Especially when the other had come looking for him out of concern.

 “I was wondering if you were okay… You entered one of your episodes a couple of minutes ago and I hadn’t heard much from you for a while. Thought I should check and make sure you did hurt yourself.”

 “Well, I’m fine so…” He trailed off, trying to encourage Janus to leave. He didn’t want the other gone, in fact he took some comfort in knowing the other cared, but he didn’t particularly wish to introduce Janus to what he had been doing during his episodes. He had no doubt it would freak the other out. And the other didn’t need the stress.

 “If you’re not sure…” Janus conceded, peering over the other with something akin to concern in his human features. The reptilian side looked as stoic as ever. “Well, I’m supposed to not go and see Patton and Logan about Thomas’ mental health. Will you be okay not on your own?”

 He knew it was in Janus’ nature to lie, little fibs and tricks slipping free from his lips even without his consent. But even that little fib had Remus on edge. He hated being left alone, always had ever since… But now, the idea that he wasn’t as alone as he thought caused a stir in his gut. It made him want to throw up, and he knew Janus wouldn’t like to have his shoes ruined. He swallowed down his bile, offering a wolfish grin that strained taut against his cheeks.

 “Of course! No need to worry about little ol’ me, Dee.” Remus forced himself to believe it. He wanted to believe it. He didn’t need Janus picking up on his lies. It seemed to work, Janus offering him a polite smile in return, and bowing his head ever so slightly. He turned, making his way down the corridor to the common room as to begin sinking out.

 Remus shut his door immediately, taking a minute to focus on his racing heart, eyes turning back to the mirror’s surface. Was there a poltergeist possessing him? No… Janus made him swear never to bring creations from the Imagination back into the Dark common room. Threatened him with the worst act of violence he could think of- a bath. Sure, Remus was hardly terrified of being in the buff, in fact he regularly forgot about wearing his clothes to the common room. Virgil’s horrified eyes and the urges Remus could feel Virgil had (something akin to gouging his eyes out with whatever cutlery was in hand) made him laugh aloud, whilst Janus’ obvious embarrassment made something warm tickle Remus’ heart.

 But a bath… Ew.

 Focus, Remus. Focus on the problem at hand.

 He rounded his bed, approaching the mirror once more, feeling how his entire form was trembling uncontrollably. They were just words! Why was he acting so terrified? He could feel a pressure behind his eyelids, burning and hot in the front of his brain. Like a thousand needles threading through his grey matter and piercing every nerve firing off in his skull. It felt familiar.

 He watched as his hand raised of its own accord, feeling his throat run dry. He took a breath, letting his body act on its own accord. He didn’t fight it. The hand raised and began carving, slow and deliberate, as if it had a mind of its own. The words were not as obviously defined in the glass once his hand returned to his side, but the message was still as clear as day.

 ‘YOU’RE SAFE WITH ME.’

 Somehow, Remus felt otherwise.

 ‘YOU’RE NOT ALONE ANYMORE.’

 He grit his teeth, hand on the scissors clenching so tight he could feel how his muscles were beginning to cramp up. He felt the urge to let go, and just as he relaxed, his hand rose again, reaching forward to scratch at the mirror.

 The sentence that had been etched there was nothing like the previous ones. It wasn’t as cryptic or obviously creepy, but this one hit him harder than any of the previous messages. He felt his whole world spinning, dizzily as his sight focussed in on the words that stared back at him. It wasn’t threatening, but it left Remus feeling scared. Even more so than his disturbed night terrors and horrific day-mares.

 ‘YOU KNOW ME, DON’T YOU?’

 He reached up to the crown of the mirror, forcefully pulling it to the floor, smashing it into a thousand pieces, glass spraying out over his carpet in a halo around it. Even now, it did little to kerb his fear. His hand relaxed, releasing the scissors and letting them fall to the floor. Something wet brimmed at the edges of his vision, Remus wiping it away as quickly as it came. Remus had never been one to cry. There was only one conclusion to this odd circumstance.

 Just like how those words were not his; these were not his tears.

[fckinwild-kiwi]

Mystery Girl

Shawn Mendes x Fem!Reader Warnings: Swearing, Angst, Fluff Word Count: 2k+

----------

‘I love you, y/n. So much and not as a brother or a friend but I love you. With everything that I have and am, I love you.’ She listened to that voicemail probably four hundred times in the last two months. The night y/n received that voicemail from Shawn was the same night of his album release party that he had in New York City. The following morning, when y/n noticed she had a missed call and voicemail, her heart soared for at least two minutes until she saw the news all over twitter. With headlines reading: Shawn Mendes getting cozy with Mystery Girl. Is this his new boo? Of course, it would be too good to be true, they had been best friends for a long time, if something were to happen between the two of them, it would have. She was disappointed but she couldn’t say she was too surprised. Y/n was just a broke college student, she wasn’t a model or a dancer. She was as normal and plain as they came and that certainly didn’t fit the lifestyle of Shawn Mendes. The next day when y/n got off work, she noticed a message request on her Instagram from a girl named Mary, she claimed to be Shawn’s Mystery Girl and she left a lengthy message that read: Hi Y/n! My name is Mary if Shawn hasn’t already told you… He and I are dating. He’s told me so much about you. Unfortunately, I thought I should be the one to tell you that the things I’ve heard aren’t the prettiest. I think you need to give him some breathing room. Shawn explained to me a few days ago that he thinks you’re the clingiest friend he’s ever had and sometimes it feels like you’re suffocating him or nagging on him. He has a mom, and newsflash she’s not you. Leave the poor boy be. Maybe we can meet next time Shawn and I are in Toronto. M, Xx.

Y/n quickly got the message, letting the new couple have their space and for the first time since y/n and Shawn became friends… They shared complete radio silence. An unheard-of record-breaking two months of no communication. “Y/n!” Nicola, y/n’s friend and voice of reason for the past two years of her college experience, called out. “There’s an incredibly handsome and ridiculously famous boy at our door asking for you!” “For fuck’s sake,” y/n said, putting her book down. It was her fourth time reading I’ll Give You the Sun, but it was still difficult to pause when she was in the middle. “Y/n,” Shawn said, breathing out a sigh of relief as took a few massive steps toward her to envelope her in a hug. “I’ve missed you so much.” “I’ve missed you too, Shawn,” y/n said, pulling away to create some distance between the two. “What are you doing here?” “I just got back to town and I wanted to see my best friend, whom I haven’t talked to in months, I might add.” “About that, I’m sorry… I’ve just been so busy with school and work,” and I’ve been preoccupied with thinking about your confession, she thought to herself. “Speaking of busy, I have to get back to what I was doing, maybe we can hang out before you have to take off again.” As y/n turned back towards the stairs that she had just previously walked down, she couldn’t help but notice Nicola’s glare directed towards her. “I didn’t realize reading the same book fourteen times constituted as busy, y/n,” Nicola said sarcastically, crossing her arms. “Why are you avoiding me?” Shawn asked, his eyes noticeably glassy. “I’m going to leave you two to it. I have some errands to run,” Nicola said, interrupting the moment building. “By the way, I’m Nicola… The one who makes sure she’s okay when you’re away. Don’t fuck with her, not anymore Mendes.” “Bye, Nicola,” Y/n said, covering her face with her hands. If someone would have told y/n a year ago that she would feel awkward and embarrassed around her best friend, she would have laughed in their face. He was just Shawn when it came to her. Just Shawn, the dorky but undeniably cute and sometimes an accidental asshole. Not Shawn Mendes, international pop sensation… So why did he have to feel like a stranger to her… “Would you like me to go too, y/n?” Shawn asked with pleading eyes. “Yes- I mean no,” Y/n said, rubbing her temples. “Of course I don’t want you to go anywhere, Shawn.” “What’s happening here? What did I miss?” “It’s nothing, Shawn. I missed you, a lot by the way. I just haven’t talked to you in a long time and it’s just- “ “It’s just what? Honey, you have to talk to me, us not talking has been the problem,” Shawn said, reaching for her hands. This would probably count as their first ever fight. You’d think with being friends for over fifteen years, the duo would argue a lot, but that was certainly not the case. “Honestly… I don’t really want to talk about it, but I do think it’s important to make sure you know that I feel like I’m too reliant on this friendship. I rely on you way too much and I know that you’ll never live up to the expectations that I’ve set for you because you have other obligations and important commitments. So it might be better for us to distance ourselves from each other,” y/n said, tears welling her in eyes. “Why are you shutting me out, Y/n?” Shawn asked, holding onto her hands tighter. “What happened between us? You’ve ignored me for months now but even though that, I came home early to see you. I missed you.” “Shawn, please,” Y/n said, tears building. “Your girlfriend would not like knowing you were here, trust me.” “My-what? Is that what this is about? That girl I was papped with? Mary? She’s not my girlfriend! She’s going to be my love interest in my new music video,” Shawn said, letting go of y/n’s hands to run his fingers through his hair. “What the fuck is happening?” “She messaged me a few months ago,” Y/n started. “You’re fucking kidding, right?” Shawn said, looking at y/n with a narrowed gaze. “She’s the reason you want to distance yourself from me. Holy fuck, that’s pathetic.” “Excuse me? What’s pathetic? Me or the fact that you told your what looked like at the time girlfriend that I was just the clingy friend. You said, and I quote, ‘sometimes it feels like she’s smothering me’ and that’s word for word directly from her message. Don’t think for a second I didn’t memorize the hurtful things you said, Shawn.” “What? No, I didn’t say those things. You know how much I love you and love our friendship. I would never- “ “Save it, Shawn. I didn’t message you because I thought I was overstepping and not being a caring friend when it came to your love life. What’s your reasoning for not talking to me, huh?” Y/n said, crossing her arms and looking Shawn right in the eyes. “You had the audacity to call me and leave a voicemail saying you love me. Oh, this is your exact words too, ‘I love you, y/n. So much and not as a brother or a friend but I love you. With everything that I have and am, I love you.’ So don’t give me any bullshit. Just let have it, the full truth. I’m so fucking tired of cowering like an abused puppy. I need to hear you say the fucking truth.” “Y/n… I do love you, so fucking much…” “You know I don’t doubt that you love me,” Y/n said, with a small smile. “I just don’t think you love me in the way that’s needed. Maybe the idea of loving me and being with me sounds fantastic, believe me,, Shawn, I know. But I’m me, regardless if I wanted this or if you wanted this… We both know that I wouldn’t fit into your lifestyle the way you would need and I’m not cookie cutter perfect like you need.” “You’re delusional,” Shawn said, sitting down on the couch in front of y/n. “I know my own feelings. I don’t remember that phone call, but I completely believe that I said how I felt… I always did seem to get a little too emotional and needy when I was drunk and thinking of you. It’s important for me to explain myself with the whole Mary situation…. Like I already said, she was playing my love interest in the new music video… We went to dinner in New York a few months ago so that we could talk about the video and what was expected of each other… It was mostly so that we could air out any awkward tension, that’s all.” Y/n was speechless. These are the words that she dreamed of hearing when they were slow dancing together at their senior prom. Of course not the part about the crazy video girl, just his feelings. She always had a feeling that they would end up together but even though he was saying the right things, her feelings were hurt, and her heart was slightly crumpled. “Why did you never reach out to me,” Y/n said, biting the inside of her cheek. “We used facetime all the time and send each other funny videos on Instagram… What happened to that.” “I,” Shawn said, sighing. “I’m a shitty friend, that’s what happened. I let my ego get in the way and I a few times I let myself believe that maybe the time zones were getting in the way other times I thought that if you wanted to talk to me, you would do it on your own terms. I was just letting work be the forefront of my priorities because I didn’t want to deal with what was happening between us. Because if we were having a fight, talking about it would make it incredibly real.” “You’re a fucking idiot,” Y/n said, as she pulled Shawn into a hug. “I really did miss you, ya know.” “Oh my god, y/n. I missed you so much it physically pained me,” Shawn said, wrapping his arms around her tighter. “So you love me?” “Jesus,” Y/n said, a smile gracing her features as she nudged him. “Of course I do, I always have.” “No I mean, more than best friends,” Shawn said, rubbing his neck. “I know,” y/n said. “If I have to pinpoint the exact moment that I knew I was completely in love with you I think I’d have to say it was in third grade when we were playing house.” “Really it took you that long? I think I knew when we shared our first kiss in first grade,” Shawn said, as he touched y/n’s chin. “Let’s go on a date.” “Hmm, how do I know that I can trust you? How do I know you won’t just break my heart?” Y/n asked, biting her lip. “We’ve been best friends since we were three, I think that constitutes trust,” Shawn said as he started leaning in. Y/n closed her eyes, her heart beating out of her chest for what felt the most anticipated moment of her life. Shawn reached out, cradling her face and slotting their lips together. Their kiss started out soft, fueled by all of the love and passion the two had for one another. But Y/n wanted more, as she gripped his shirt, pulling him closer to her. She was high on the feeling of his lips on hers. They quickly deepened the kiss, y/n became addicted to the taste of him, craving more. In that moment, y/n believed that no other kiss in the history of kisses felt like that one. No other kiss could ever possibly be that perfect and meant to be. “You’ve gotten better at kissing since first grade, I’m impressed and a little jealous,” Y/n said as she pulled away and opened her eyes, grinning up at her best friend. “Jealous?” “Yeah, jealous that I wasn’t the one you practiced with. Why is that? We spent every moment together and we didn’t make out once- “ “Until now,” Shawn said, winking at y/n. “Well yeah, until now.” She said smiling at him. “I’d love to go on that date with you, Mendes.” “Fuck yeah, and If it makes you feel any better, we have all the time in the world to practice...together,” Shawn said, reassuring y/n as he leaned to kiss her again.

[galivantingg]

sinking

the beginning

People want to believe they are what they choose to remember. The good stuff. -It Chapter Two

Jacob thinks about that quote a lot. What does he remember about himself? His mind flashes back to the days of arguments, bullying and proving to be the biggest brat ever. Of name calling, rude quips and stoney faces. Too long arguments about things that didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things. If all he remembers is the bad stuff, does that make him a bad person? Yes, it does. Jacob is a bad person. He's mean, belittling, and takes everyone for granted. He thinks about himself first, doesn't ask how the other is doing in return, at least not automatically. He has to try to be nice. He has to force it. Jacob is a bad person because he is a thoughtless person. He just doesn't think, before he acts, or speaks. He literally is, head empty, no thoughts.

He can be nice, people have told him that, but he doesn't think he is nice. He has his moments, It's usually when he's giving someone something, or doing something for them, but there's no ulterior motive; except for validation. That's all Jacob wants. Validation. He wants to be noticed, to be needed. And when he does something for someone, he becomes needed. Which grants him what he wants, which makes him a bad person. Nice people don't do things for others for expect something in return. It is a fact,  Jacob is a bad person.

Now that that's out of the way, let's begin.

Jacob was lying there on his bed, watching the sun rise through his window. He wanted to know the time, but didn’t have the energy to turn his head to the side and check the clock. The sun was a little over halfway over the houses, the sky a brilliant blue already, and the birds were just as annoying as ever. It was pretty at first, but after the first twenty minutes of tuneless chirping it became tiresome. He doesn't remember the last time he slept properly. Either he'd come home, sleep until dinner, push his food around, then go back to sleep, waking up some time around four or five in the morning, and spend the next two hours staring out his window or at his ceiling, or he'd come home and not sleep at all. There was no in between, no compromise. He'd either get roughly eleven hours of sleep in one day, or none. On nights he didn't sleep he would do homework for ten hours straight. He'd work through essay after essay, checking the syllabus for each class and starting a new one when he finished. Never mind if it hadn't been assigned yet, Jacob would do it. He'd do anything to avoid sitting and staring at his wall for ten hours. He thinks he has insomnia, but it could just be a symptom of the depression.

He only allowed a certain time slot for his thoughts to run wild. If he didn't keep to his routine, he'd go insane.

His family didn't see him often, not for a while. His parents didn't approve of him locking himself in his room all the time, but they got his report cards, ninety-five percent average, and he joined them for meals, so they didn't fight it. In fact, they just carried on with things. They would make jokes, "oh look, he's alive!", "well well well there's a surprise for you," and a couple "woah! Sorry, not used to seeing you". The jokes didn't make him want to spend time with them. Of course, if he told them that, they'd say that it's only a joke, he shouldn't be so sensitive. He would say he's not being sensitive, it makes him feel judged. They would tell him that he needs to stop taking everything so seriously, it was just a joke. He’s not laughing.

They don't understand. Sure maybe it's not their fault, maybe Jacob could've explained things better when he was formally diagnosed two years ago, or even when he first started feeling this way six years ago, but he knows it wouldn't matter. They can be sympathetic, but they'll never really understand. They'll never be empathetic, and Jacob knows this for sure. He knows this because when he told his mother he was depressed maybe four years ago, she brushed it off. She said, "Oh Jacob, I know it seems like that now, but just wait. You'll feel better soon," completely ignoring the fact that Jacob had said he'd felt like this for two years at that point. Things just went downhill from there.

Jacob has a lot of feelings about the past four years. Mostly nothing, but sometimes he'll be overcome with anger, then annoyance, and then that blissful emptiness. That wonderful nothing.

Months went by, and nothing changed. Not even his mom's attitude towards him. Jacob remembers when one of his friends found out by accident. He was keeping a secret, but said something he shouldn't have, which led to that friend finding something Jacob wanted to keep secret. He was nicer to Jacob for a while after that, it took Jacob a while to notice. Every time someone in the group would tease him, that friend would tell them to back off. Jacob didn't know where it was coming from at first, but was thankful nonetheless. Until he found screenshots of a conversation between that friend and another friend in the group, talking about Jacob's secret. His friend was only being nicer because of this secret.

Jacob was angry for a while. He didn't understand why being depressed was the only way to get them to stop teasing him, to stop making him the butt of the joke. Why couldn't they see that it doesn't matter if he's depressed or not, he shouldn't have to endure that much teasing. Then they went back to normal. And Jacob stopped feeling angry. He just felt empty.

There's a memory Jacob has, a memory of when he was maybe six, and it was his mother's birthday. His dad wanted him to stand next to him while they sang Happy Birthday to his mom, but instead he was knelt next to the coffee table untying his toy dog on wheels from the leg. He was still singing Happy Birthday, not to mention he was six, so it's not like he really understood anyway, but his dad got mad. He was taken upstairs to his room, and was yelled at, until he started crying. Jacob has a vague memory of being hit across the face, but looking back, he doesn't know if that really happened. He attributes that moment to his development of depression. He doesn't remember experiencing all the symptoms, but he does remember around Grade Six feeling like he will never be enough. He clearly remembers trying hard to fit in, but no one really wanted him around. He'd interact with people, but wouldn't get the same reaction as others did. He'd say something witty, and no one would laugh, but someone else would say a simplified version of it and suddenly they were the funniest person in the world.

Jacob has some issues.

Sometimes these memories made him angry, other times embarrassed, but more often than not they just reminded him why he doesn't belong.

A soft knock came from the door, and he heard his mother from the other side say, "Jacob, honey, are you awake yet?" Jacob sat up and pushed himself off the bed, walking to his door. He twisted the knob, pulling the door towards him and walked away to his dresser, pulling clothes out of the drawers. "Good morning sweetie, how are you?" His mom took a step into his room. A twinge of annoyance flickered in the back of his mind but he shoved it down, telling himself he has no right to feel that way. His parents didn't ask much of him, he has no right to be rude to them.

"I'm good fine, mom, only been awake for a bit so I don't really know if it's been a good day or a bad day yet," he turned to face her, smiling a bit. He had become an excellent liar over the years, able to hide his mood and fib his way through a conversation. "I'm gonna shower now though," he murmured, starting to walk towards the door. She smiled gently at him and stepped to the side, following him out and walking down the stairs.

As he lathered shampoo in his hair his head was filled with the usual back and forth debate on whether or not the people in his life actually cared about him. The evidence is pretty fifty fifty. An image of the gentle smile flashed across his mind, then he remembered a moment where his mother had said that he needed to get out in order to feel happier. But she isn't wrong, statistically speaking fresh air is better for you, and exercise releases endorphins that make him happy. On the other hand, he knew that if he went out without someone expecting him some place at some time, he wouldn't exactly be careful when crossing the street. He doesn't trust himself, and while he doesn't believe his family actually likes him as a person, he could never risk hurting them, no matter how much pain they've caused him.

That shower got depressing really fast. He shook his head and stepped out, grabbing a towel and drying himself off. He pulled on his clothes, brushed his teeth, moisturized and opened the door, heading down the hall and walking down the stairs. He greeted his dad, grabbed an apple, picked up his school bag and headed out the front door. Jacob dropped his bag in the passenger seat of his car and slid in behind the wheel, starting up the car and tapping his fingers on the wheel. Thirty seconds later the front door opened and slammed shut, and out of the corner of his eye he saw two figures moving across the lawn towards him. The locks made an audible sound when he locked them, just as the girl put her hand on the passenger side handle.

"Um Jake," she said, not looking very pleased. "What, do you think you're doing?"

Jacob rolled down the window and leaned over, smiling up at her. "Back seat is for people who crash their cars, Phoebs."

"Don't call me that it's not my name," she snapped back, her hand still on the handle. The boy behind her started snickering. "Shut it Pai." The boy's head snapped up, a scowl on his face now.

"Hypocrite." He muttered.

Jacob was still smiling. "You two, in the back. Now."

The girl still wouldn't let go of the door handle. They're going to be late at this rate.

"Only if you promise not to shorten our names anymore," she said, loosening her grip.

Jacob sighed. Well there goes all his fun. "Fine. Phoebus, Paieon, back seats. Let's go."

They smiled, the same smile, stupid twins and their identicalness. He unlocked the door and they slid into the back seats like plebeians, then they were off. The ride was filled with beautiful serenity. Just kidding. It was filled with the sounds of Phoebus and Paieon arguing, over something stupid no doubt. Jacob paid them little mind. He was very good at ignoring everything, from feelings to hunger pains, among other things, not to toot his own horn or anything. Those other things include overanalyzing, patronizing others, and most of all, worrying. He is very good at worrying. Soon they pulled up next to the school and the twins were dashing out of the still moving car (yikes!) shouting something along the lines of "see you at three ten". Jacob took a moment to himself to breathe, drawing up the energy and reinforcing his walls for the day. Each day got harder and harder, it was only a matter of time. You’re not here for yourself, you’re here for others. Your purpose is to serve until you are no longer needed.

A knock on his window startled him. He looked over to see a girl leaning down, her hair hanging freely and a furrow in her brow, She mimed cranking down the window, like in an old car. Jacob rolled down the window. "Yes?"

"Sorry," she said, biting her lip. "It's just uh, you looked I don't know, alone? I was wondering if you're okay?" Jacob's eyebrows rose in surprise. She must be new. "Yeah, I am new," she laughed a little, looking away then looking back at him. Her eyes seemed to look past his walls and see right into his soul. He didn't like it. Make it stop.

"I'm Jacob, but everyone around here calls me autistic mostly." Jacob said, staring right at her to gauge her reaction. She looked taken aback.

"Are you?"

That's a new one. Asking if he is autistic. He shook his head. "Just anti-social," he smiled half heartedly. She grinned.

"So I'm getting the most anyone's ever gotten out of you?" Jacob nodded his head, confirming. She smiled again, her eyes twinkling. There was something behind them, something he couldn't quite place. Oh well, must not be important. "Cool. Why don't we head in and you show me around, Jacob?" The way she said his name sent a shiver down his spine, and he tried not to move so it wouldn't show. He smiled a little, and she stepped back to let him out. He locked the door behind him, and she wound herself around his free arm, the other shouldering his bag. Jacob looked down at her in surprise. No one has willingly gotten this close to him in a long time. The only time he had physical contact was during gym class.

He opened his mouth to say something but she forged on ahead, dragging him along with her. He was too confused and overwhelmed by this sudden change that he didn't notice they had arrived at his locker. He was still confused as he unlocked it, grabbing a textbook he had forgotten and closing it.

"Take me to the office? I need to get my schedule and student card." He nodded dumbly, letting himself once again be dragged along. She looked up at him and gave him another dazzling smile, and it took him walking into the wall for him to regain his focus. He laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand and set off through the hall, ignoring the looks from the students staring at the weirdo with a very beautiful new girl hanging off his arm. His mask rose, and his face went stoney. They arrived at the office and his second mask slipped into place. His customer service mask, if you would.

"Good morning Irene," he greeted the older woman behind the desk. She didn't look up. "I have a new student here who needs her student ID and timetable if that's not too much trouble?" Irene mumbled something. He leaned closer, "Pardon? I didn't quite catch that sorry."

She looked up at him as if he had personally wronged her family a thousand years ago, then repeated, "Name?"

Jacob froze for a second, just now realizing that she knew his name, but he didn't know hers. "Leah Marsh," she jumped in, still holding on to Jacob's arm. Would she ever let go? Irene muttered again, and Leah must have very good hearing because she laughed and said, "No no, we're not related. We just met," and she looked back up at him with that dazzling smile and that twinkle in her eye. Jacob's ears went red. She laughed.

Irene stood and grabbed something from a drawer, a piece of paper and a small plastic ID card, putting them on top of the half wall separating them before sitting back down. "Have a good day now," she murmured to her computer screen.

Jacob smiled, the polite boy his mother raised in him coming out. "Thank you, you too."

And they were off once again, Leah dragging Jacob out the door and around the corner.

"Let me see your schedule? I can help you find your classes before the bell goes." Jacob offered. He held out his hand, and Leah passed over the piece of paper. He scanned it, then scanned it again. He pulled out his phone and her the two items next to each other, looking back and forth. "Looks like we have all the same classes? Odd," he murmured.

"Cool!" Leah said. He glanced over at her and her face was brighter than the sun. How could one person be so happy? Doesn't it get tiresome?

"Well I guess we're heading to first period English," he handed back the schedule. "Come on, it's this way." He led her down the north hall, stuck inside his head again. He was so caught up in his own mind that he didn't notice Leach staring directly at him, not even looking where they were going. Which led to her knocking into someone, of course.

"Hey!" The kid exclaimed, outraged, until he got a good look at who he had bumped into. "Oh, hey," his voice changed, and Jacob finally snapped out of his thoughts and looked over.

"I'm so sorry, I was leading and I didn't see you," Jacob apologized, getting a good look at the kid. It's Matthew, one of the popular kids. He's a guard on the basketball team, though he should be post guard, what with his height. He was a tall lanky kid, and easily made three pointers. The only reason Jacob knew this is because one of his classes is Yearbook, which makes him a photographer for the school. You'd think that would make people be a little nicer to him, but nope. Still gets bullied.

Matthew sneered. "Who said you could speak, retard." Jacob looked at the ground, ashamed. He should've known better. Leah giving him attention does not make him liked by everyone else all of a sudden.

Leah laughed lightly, and he looked at her. "No, Jacob's right, we should have been paying attention. Sorry about that," she lifted one of her hands and held it vertically in front of her face. Odd. Jacob had never seen someone do that before. He'd never seen anyone like Leah before. She truly was a unique person.

Matthew looked her up and down, then smirked lightly. "Why are you hanging out with this retard?"

"We have all the same classes it seems, so he's showing me around." Leah smiled up at him and this time Jacob wished she hadn't. Matthew was glaring at him and if looks could kill, well let's just say Jacob wouldn't be doing too well.

"Why don't I show you around? You're not going to get much out of him, he doesn't talk." Matthew was speaking to Leah but was staring directly at Jacob. It was like Matthew was daring him to say something, prove him wrong, but Jacob knew better. Any time he spoke outside of class, weird things would happen. He'd suddenly trip, or his books would be knocked out of his hand, or even weirder, he'd be shoved head first into a locker. Strange.

Jacob said nothing. Leah looked back up at him, and finally noticed his whole demeanour had changed. He was rigid, stone face and looking at the ground. More than that he was closed off. The arm she was holding onto had gone limp, and he other hand was shoved into his pocket. She gently let go of his arm. Matthew smiled broadly. He held out his arm, as if he were a gentleman.

"Great, let's go." Matthew led the two of them down the hall, chatting animatedly. She didn't look back.

The next few hours passed in a haze of learning, note taking and teachers droning on, just as bored as their students. Jacob didn't understand why but he was somehow hurt from Leah ditching him. He shouldn't be, because everyone leaves him at some point, but she seemed different. There was something about her, she was warm, friendly, and she seemed genuine. Ah well, it doesn't matter now. She met Matthew and she was obviously getting along well with him. Jacob sat in the middle at the far side of his classes, trying not to draw attention to himself. He'd also somehow get there earlier than everyone else, and would keep his head down as people walked in. He noticed Leah walking in each time, but she didn't look at him. That solidified it in his mind: she wasn't worth the emotions he was feeling.

He focussed on the board, transferring the words from the board to his laptop, then don't get too comfortable, you're just a placeholder. He shook his head lightly, shaking away the unpleasant thoughts. Intrusive thoughts begone! He doesn't have time for this, he needs to take notes.

Lunch came and Leah walked right past him with Matthew and another girl named Clarissa. Matthew stared at him as they walked past, as if challenging him to say something, but Jacob knows his place. He looked down. Grabbing an iced tea from the cafeteria he paid for it and headed out a set of double doors to the lawn, finding a tree and climbing up into it. He pulled his apple out of his bag and bit into it, enjoying the peace up in the branches. It was quiet, birds chirping and kids laughing, tossing around a football or stretched out on the grass. Jacob looked up, captivated by the sun shining through the leaves.

This tree was his escape, no one else ever came out this far so no one else was there to bully him.

He stared out at the field, looking at each and every person. They know him, but they don't at the same time. They know his face, his speech (or lack thereof). What they don't know is his mannerisms, his story, his raison d'être, which really doesn't exist. They don't know that sometimes he cries himself to sleep, sometimes he doesn't sleep, and when he does, he dreams of everyone around him leaving. The haunting image of the backs of those he loves flashes across his eyes and this time he doesn't shake his head. He embraces it. They don't love him, it's just a fact. Well, they do, but they don't. What Jacob means is that they love him, because they're family, but they don't love him for him. They don't love his random outbursts of weirdness, standing in doorways like a creep, making horrible jokes. They don't love who he is as a person, and that's okay. Jacob can barely tolerate himself, how are others supposed to tolerate him?

Before he knows it, he's climbed to the very top of the tree, and he's leaping out of it,

falling

falling

falling.

He crashes to the ground hard on his arm and lets out an involuntary yelp, drawing the attention of the other students outside. Well shit. That's not what he was planning, but it's happened now and there's no going back. Some kids came running over, the ones who didn't really know him, and one asked if he was okay. Does he look like he's okay? He's pale, sweating, and his right arm is bent awkwardly. He is not okay. They send someone inside, and the kid who asked if he's alright kneels beside him, helping him lean against the tree. He spots Jacob's bag in the tree and stands up to grab it, pulling out his iced tea.

"Thanks man," Jacob says, accepting the drink.

"What happened?" The kid asked.

"I was trying to climb higher, but I must've slipped or something because next thing you know I'm falling."

"Hm," the kid pondered. What could he be pondering? "Cause from where I was it looked like you had jumped out," he looked sideways at Jacob, and his blood froze.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Jacob stammered. The kid just looked at him coolly.

Before he could answer he was interrupted by someone else rushing over, calling his name.

"Jacob? Jacob!" He looked up, and saw it was Leah. She was followed closely by Matthew and Clarissa, and in no time she was kneeling on his other side, hands halfway through the air and her face riddled with worry. "Are you okay? What happened?"

Jacob just stared at her. What was she doing here? This was a complete turn around from how she had been acting earlier. Matthew and Clarissa had caught up. "I'm telling you Leah," Matthew was shaking his head, still wearing that stupid smirk. "He's not going to talk."

Leah glared at him before turning back to Jacob, looking at him softly. The pain from his arm was already starting to go away, which makes absolutely no sense at all. "Jake are you okay?" He felt that twinge of annoyance at the nickname, who was she to give him a nickname, but he shoved it down. He nodded.

"He fell out of the tree," the kid said. Jacob didn't know who he was, and he knows everyone. He has to, he's on yearbook.

"Oh my god, Jakey that's horrible! Is your arm hurt?" She lightly touched his broken arm and he hissed, drawing back a bit. From Jake to Jakey in less than a minute. Who was she? Why did she feel so comfortable with him, and why did he feel so comfortable with her? He just wanted to tell her everything was alright, but nothing was alright.

Leah looked up at the kid, a smile covering her face. "Thanks for coming to his rescue and letting me know. My name is Leah, nice to meet you," she held out her hand and the kid shook it.

"Erick," he replied, smiling tightly. How did Erick know to get Leah? What's with this kid?

"The retard is fine, Leah. Just leave him alone," Matthew said, growing impatient.

Leah whipped her head back to glower at him. "The 'retard'," she spat, emphasizing the slur, "is my mate, so back the fuck off."

What?

Matthew held his hands up, trying to calm her. "Woah, how was I supposed to know that?"

Leah just growled. It sounded animalistic. The gears in Jacob's mind started to turn. How she had shown up when he was in distress near her, how she had answered a question he had only thought, why she seemed so keen on attaching herself to him. But why did she leave him then? Why did she choose to go with Matthew over him? This doesn't make sense. First he has to accept that werewolves are real, she's much too warm to be a vampire, but she could be a selkie? Or any other mythical creature really. Jacob doesn't know, he doesn't know anything anymore. If they were werewolves, and that's a pretty big if, Jacob could understand why Matthew always hit him so hard, versus other people, like Max, or Grizz.

Jacob lifted his eyebrows. His arm is broken, he's been on an emotional rollercoaster today, and he would just like to know what's going on. So he said as much. "So, what pack are you guys from?"

"I'm a rogue," Leah replied, turning to look at him.

"Half Moon," Matthew responded offhandedly. Then he realized what he said. He put a sneer on, "What's it to you?"

"I'm human," Jacob shrugged, ignoring the pain.

"Ah," Matthew said, nodding. "Wait, what?" He looked at Leah, then back at Jacob. This is probably the first time they've held eye contact for this long. "How are you human?"

"Uh, good question. I just am? My whole family is human." Jacob replied.

Matthew shook his head. "No, your family is part of the other pack in this town, Rising Sun. You smell like them, so we all assumed that you just hadn't shifted yet, which is why we bully you. But you're saying you're human?"

None of this makes sense.

Jacob nodded. "Yep, that's what I'm saying. Guess I need to have a talk with my family about a certain furry secret." Jacob smirked. This'll be fun. God this day has been crazy, and it's not even halfway over. Wait a second, Leah said she's a rogue?

"So," Jacob looked at Leah. "You're a rogue?"

Leah stiffened. Touchy subject apparently. She nodded.

"And you're my mate,"

Leah brightened, "Yeah! I wanted to tell you, but you got so cold when we ran into Matty that I thought maybe you were going to reject me," she looked at the ground. She's lying. She wasn't going to tell him, she didn't want to tell him. She's only here now because of what they call the mate bond, and she couldn't exactly up and leave halfway towards running to him. Then she'd really look like a bitch. Jacob is seriously starting to doubt she actually wants to be mates with him.

"Fascinating," Jacob commented. Leah frowned. Jacob shook his head. "That there are werewolves," he explained. It was kinda cool. "So what other mythical creatures are real?"

Leah was about to launch into a whole explanation but she was cut off by Erick. "Shouldn't we get him to the office? His arm is still broken." Thank you Erick, for being the voice of reason. Jacob never would have remembered that the bone in his arm is broken if not for that comment. It's not like he couldn't feel the searing pain coming from the limb. How enlightening.

"That would be much appreciated," Jacob said instead. Erick helped him up, and Leah tried to help by grabbing his other arm, which was the broken arm. It did not help. She retracted her hands, demoting herself to just standing and walking beside him. Irene the office woman was not entirely impressed to see him, but called an ambulance nonetheless and he was off. He got his cast, bright pink of course, and was given some pain meds before being sent on his merry way.

He walked back to the school.

Since he was technically exempt from his afternoon classes but it was close to three ten so he just waited in the car. After bumming around on Tumblr for a bit, he finally heard the bell go, and not long after that his beloved younger twin siblings were racing out the school doors, headed right for the car. They tugged on the door handles impatiently, waiting for Jacob to unlock it. He finally did, and they slid in.

"Why are you out so early? Aren't your spares tomorrow?" Jacob lifted up his broken arm in response. He looked back at their faces, the picture of surprise. Eyebrows raised, mouths in the shape of a O. Hilarious. With that, Jacob started the car and drove off. When they got home, Phoebus slamming the door of course, the twins headed upstairs and Jacob strolled into the kitchen, ready for his talk with his parents.

"So I met my mate today," he said casually. His mom was typing on the computer, his dad filling out papers, and neither of them looked up.

"That's great sweetie," his mother said lightly, still not paying attention. Silence, then, "What did you say?"

"My mate," Jacob said louder. "I found her,"

"Mm not possible Jacob," his dad murmured. "You're not a werewolf."

"But you guys are," Suddenly they froze, finally tuning into the conversation.

Gotcha!