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honeypirate · 4 years ago

Text

Just In Case part two

Part one here

The awakening

(Lol that’s kinda dramatic)

Bakugou x fem reader married pro hero au

The first paragraph is kind of a spoiler for season five ep one.

Anyway!! I hope you like this!! I hate angst with not a good ending so I had to make it a good ending with family fluff.

(You went to the hospital as a hero so he uses your hero name at the receptionist)

Kirishima feels like he’s in school again as he races his car from the office down to the hospital except this time Bakugou was in the passenger seat instead of on the hood.

“Can you go any faster? Fuck” bakugou grumbled and kiri laughed once “I’m going seventy in a 45 I think I’m at the limit. Plus we’re here” before he can even stop the car, Bakugou is slamming the door and running. “Lightseeker?” He’s asking the receptionist who seems a little star struck “come on!” He shouts and slaps the counter making her jump. “DynaMight” recovery girl says from the doorway and he’s never moved this fast before in his life.

“What happened? They told me she was gone” his voice is angry, he’s pissed. He’s never been this god damn angry before in his life. They said she was dead but she’s alive! These goddamn doctors don’t know shit apparently.

“We don’t know. She was dead. She was gone. They were about to take her to the morgue but her body lit up with electricity and then she was breathing and alive and screaming for you. We just got out of surgery and she should still be under anesthesia until the morning.”

(Flashback)

The first responders get there and bakugou checks out, they order him to move rubble or move other things and he helps how he can moving immediately. They free your body, one first responder had her hands on your face the whole time already healing what she could and pulling your body back together as the heavy piece of building was levitated away.

He followed behind them and sat by you in the ambulance, quiet and in shock as he numbly watched them work over you. He watched, like an out of body experience, as you flatlined. Watched as they tried to resuscitate you. Watched as the woman’s hands fell from your body and watched as her mouth moved calling the time of death.

He stared at your face the rest of the ride, ingraining your face in his memory. Trying to grasp the fact that he will never see you smile again, never hear your voice, never experience parenthood with you.

That’s what breaks him. Thinking of the half painted pastel green room, flashing back to finding you laying in the middle of the room unsure of the color again (the fourth color you’ve painted it) he laid beside you and you talked about colors and baby names for hours looking around the small room and imagining your future.

He had quiet tears going down his cheeks and he’s only semi aware of the woman handing him a card to the hospital morgue and their grief therapist before the police chief is there wanting a statement.

(Back to present)

He looks through the room window, watching you breathe with the help of a breathing tube. Your right arm was in a cast and your chest was bandaged under your hospital gown.

He was scared, terrified the moment he walks through that door he’d wake up and this would be a dream, you’d be gone.

Recovery girl has gone and he’s by himself but he still can’t go in there. “Hey man” Kirishima says softly “what happened?”

“She came back. They don’t know how”

Kirishima takes in Bakugous state, noticing the worry in his eyes and how he seems frozen to his spot. He decides to take the lead. “Hey y/n” Kirishima says gently as he walks into the room, Bakugou feels panic and follows him quickly.

“I’m glad you’re back. I don’t know how I could have lived without your caramel cake and your sense of humor. No one can put Bakugou here in his place like you could. He’d be insufferable without you so truly from the bottom of my heart, thank you”

Bakugou glares at him, but is grateful for him taking the lead and helping him through his fear.

“Hey pretty girl” Bakugou says and takes your hand, Kirishima smiles softly and pats his shoulder as he leaves the room.

“You scared the fuck outta me” he said, tears filling his eyes again as he sits in the chair beside the bed. “Never do that again” his voice cracks and he drops his head to the bed next to your left hand which he has clasped between his. Hot tears falling to the crappy hospital blanket that scratches his face. He was so broken, so terribly ripped to shreds when he thought you were dead. And to have himself be ripped to shreds and then tell him you’re alive? Fuck it hurt. He cried harder than he ever had from the pain of losing you to get you back, he didn’t know how to handle the whiplash of emotion.

At some point he must have fallen asleep because he woke up to the sensation of you running your fingers through his hair. His head shot up and the moment he’s looking into your eyes he’s crying again, his eyebrows knit as tears spill from his eyes “you dumbass” he mutters with a thick tongue and you chuckle “don’t cry sweetheart” you say softly and brush his tears away with your left hand, not moving more than that. “I’m right here” you whisper, your eyes filling with tears.

He stands and leans over, pressing his forehead into yours. “Please” he whispers. Not really sure what he’s asking, just knowing he needs you to be with him longer. “I’m here. I’m with you. Right here” you say and press your lips to his in a little peck causing his breath to hitch.

When he relaxes and sits back down, his hand never leaving yours, you tell him your experience.

“I woke up a little while ago as the doctors removed my breathing tube and I made them be quiet so they wouldn’t wake you” he chuckles gently, everything still feeling so fragile, “always thinking of me” he says and reaches out, brushing your cheek softly and you lean into his touch

“I remember what happened” you whisper and he raises his eyebrows “when you died?” He asks in a whisper and you nod “do you wanna talk about it?” He asks gently and you sigh softly

“I was floating in the darkness. I was wondering where you were. I wanted you. All of my favorite memories of you and I together filled that darkness. I saw what our future will be like” you close your eyes as tears start to fall “it was so beautiful. Our family” he feels tears prick his eyes as you talk and his hand tightens around yours.

You look into his eyes and smile “I don’t know if it was real. But she looked just like you, Katsuki. Crazy blonde hair and she had a quirk where one hand is explosions and the other was electricity. She was funny and sweet and she had my eyes” he smiles softly imagining the child “she ran to me and placed her palm against my chest and used her electricity and then I was here”

He lays his cheek against your thigh facing you and closes his eyes “I don’t know if it’s real or just a dream” he says softly “but I’m grateful to whoever it was who gave you back to me”

(Skippy skip)

He’s been so much more open with his feelings after that day and it’s been amazing. You two had gone to couples therapy just to help guide you both through that process and it brought you both closer together.

Healing was bitch. Physical therapy was a bigger bitch. But Bakugou was there every step of the way in your recovery. You’ve never seen him more attentive since you were dating. He got home from his patrol and wrapped his arms around your middle as you cooked dinner “I missed you today. The office is so empty without you” he mumbles against your neck and you smile, reaching up and cupping his cheek “I’ll be back soon” you say and turn in his arms “buuut maybe not that soon” you say with a knowing smirk and he raises his eyebrows “what do you mean?” You pull the stick out of your pocket and hand it to him

He’s quiet for a moment, looking down at the capped pregnancy test in his palm and at the pink line that confirmed his dreams “is this..” he looks up to you and you see the tears in his eyes “we’re gonna have a baby, Katsuki”

(Skippy skip)

He opens the room to the doctors office panting “sorry 'm late” he says as he takes his spot next to you in the bed, your hand taking his and squeezing it. “Right on time” excitement fills your voice and he kisses the top of your head. “I see the feet here” the doctor points out and types into the computer “and here’s the hands… and here is the little face” your eyes are hooked on the screen, so enamored by seeing your little one in your tummy. You hear a sniff and look up to see bakugou crying and it makes your heart swell “and here it is..” she turns to you “do you wanna know the sex?” You and bakugou both say yes at the same time and she laughs “it’s a girl”

(Skippy skip)

You hear an explosion in your house and panic, running to check on your daughter. You bust through her door and find her holding a busted and charred plastic dinosaur. “Sweetie what happened?” You kneel in front of her and she laughs “he was going to eat my Barbie and I had to save her”

Later that evening when Bakugou is sitting down with her explaining her quirk and his, that’s when the electricity manifested and she shot a bolt at your tv making it explode. You stared for a moment then looked at Bakugou both busting up laughing before helping her with ways to control it.

Later that night

“It’s real” you say as you cuddle into his side “it’s her” he hums and holds you close “she brought me back” he fights back tears “my precious girls” he says softly.

#bakugou x you #bakugou x y/n #bakugou katsuki fanfiction #bakugou x reader #bnha bakugou #bakugou katsuki #bakugou fluff #bakugou fanfiction

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skelemira · 3 years ago

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Ooooh whats Rowan's lore? *grabs popcorn*

ALRIGHT BUCKLE UP BUTTERCUPS

Gonna leave it after the cut (if I remember how to do the cut right on mobile lol) so I don't clog up feeds

So Rowan started out as a human. Her family was okay financially, probably lower middle class. Not rich enough to be truly comfortable, but not in a whole lot of danger debt-wise. She had a mother, a father, an older sister named Magnolia (Nolia for short) and a little brother named Cedar (lol do you see a naming pattern here I'm so creative). Her parents were... Okay. They weren't abusive or anything, but they weren't exactly doting. They didn't really have the time to be doting, since they both worked all the time. The siblings all got along really well, though, the type of siblings that stuck together initially because they lacked that true family relationship but slowly morphed into ride or die siblings.

So one day, little 14-year-old Rowan (Nolia was 16, soon to be 17, and Cedar was 10) gets home from school, pretty average, normal day.

She's sitting at the table doing her hw when someone knocks at the door and her parents (it was kind of weird, they were never home at this hour) rush to open it. There stands a man in a lab coat, holding an envelope. Rowan hated him instantly. Something about him seemed wrong.

He talked to her parents for a bit, and her parents asked her to go get Nolia and Cedar with some urgency in their voices. And.... If she was right in placing that tone.... Guilty excitement...?

She got her siblings and they came downstairs.

Turns out her parents had been closer to debt than she realized. So to get some more money and.... Relieve some financial burdens, they sold their kids to a group of scientists needing victi----research participants.

Of course there was a struggle, Nolia stepping up to try and defend her siblings, screaming at her parents, Rowan holding Cedar close while silent tears poured down both their faces.

But the scientist was prepared, and before anyone could react, three men appeared with rags, holding them over the kids' mouths.

She woke up in an empty white room.

Well... If you could call it white. It was more of a dinghy, hardly cleaned beige. These men were not with the government, she could immediately tell that.

Gonna sum up this part bc it involves torture but basically the scientists were experimenting to see if they could turn a human into a monster. They found only Rowan's soul was compatible. They used her siblings to keep her under control..... Only they had dumped Nolia and Cedar on the streets weeks ago. They simply reused footage to "prove" to Rowan they were still there.

They almost succeeded in their experiment. They forced so much magic into her soul that it started to flip.... But it was too much and Rowan flatlined. They dumped her body in the woods, only disappointed that they came so close.

A couple months passed. Her body decayed until only her skeleton remained. The decaying process was helped along by all the magic, which seemed to have concentrated in her bones, morphing them slowly until they were all connected.

She woke up.

She spent several years on the streets. She begged, she stole, and... She drank. Or at least she tried to. (She was allowed into bars because people thought she was a monster, and she wasn't wearing stripes, so that must mean she was an adult.) She quickly discovered that her alcohol tolerance was *legendary*. She drank bars dry having drinking contests with people (that's how she paid for all her drinks) but felt no different than before. Eventually someone dared her to try Everclear, and though she grimaced at the taste, she drank the entire bottle.

The bar was silent.

The taste eventually grew on her, a kind of self-inflicted punishment that soon became a routine, almost a comfort.

Now a good chunk of the next part has to do with my friend's sonas which I'm not going to talk about because they're not my characters, but suffice it to say they were amazing friends to her and helped her recover and get on her feet.

One such friend discovered her sleeping by Grillby's dumpster, and Grillby let her stay the night on his couch, setting up a job at Muffet's for her the next day. She and Muffet became really close friends and finally she started to have a more stable life. (She finds and dates Underlust Sans but that's another story lol which I would be happy to share in another ask~ but y'all these two are so cute plz)

So someone suggests she go see a therapist. Goodness knows she's got some trauma. So she agrees. The name of her therapist seems..... Eerily familiar but she decides to ignore her gut and go anyway. She walks into the therapist's office and---

And sees her mother sitting there, looking professional and well-rested and happy.

She runs.

Yeah so suffice it to say she isn't gonna trust therapy again for a bit lol, and it takes her even LONGER (and some good therapy sessions) to accept the fact that her mother was clearly better off without her and her siblings.

Yeah ya girl has a lot of issues, especially abandonment <3 she is very much a people pleaser and WILL put your needs high above her own. Anything to make you want to stay. Anything to make her feel needed or wanted.

So she's hanging out at Grillby's one day (he and his bartender like to try out different mixes on her, try to see if they can get her to make a face at a cocktail) when a huge party comes in. Rowan automatically shrinks a bit from discomfort because of the big crowd, and she continues her game with Grillby and the bartender (the bartender is my friend's sona that's why I'm not naming them lol). Then she hears something that makes her freeze mid-sip.

"Let's hear it for Magnolia!!!! The first of us to get tied down!" Followed by raucous laugh....ter...

She recognizes that laugh.

She flees the bar, with no explanation to anyone. She catches a glimpse of Nolia, with Cedar by her side, and both of their eyes squint slightly in confusion as she passes by them.

She makes it outside, looking around for where to go, unable to think in her panicked confusion when---

"R......Rowan?"

She goes ramrod straight and slowly turns, hands balled into fists to hide the violent shaking. Nolia bursts into tears, Cedar immediately clinging to her stiff form, his shoulders shaking as bad as her hands.

They.... Recognized her. They.........

Were *happy* to see her.

Slowly she hugged them back and they got to catching up. (So yeah if it wasn't clear Nolia was getting married, they both had survived on the streets together until Nolia was old enough to get a job).

Also something I forgot to mention lol is Rowan had found 2 kittens behind Muffet's, an older girl kitten fiercely protecting a little boy kitten. They immediately latched onto her after she made it clear she wasn't a threat, and she decided to name them after her siblings.

Also things worth noting, she smells like apples, she has magical red translucent hair, her soul wavers from more upside down like a monster's to more upright like a human's, she loves to bake, she is like the DEFINITION of cottagecore, she has magical tattoos on her face that change around to look like the Day of the Dead skulls (the colors get brighter or darker with her moods), and she drinks 2 bottle of everclear every time she goes to Grillby's. The paramedics in the area quickly become used to people calling the ambulance when she drinks (seriously look up everclear it's basically pure alcohol). She eventually stops drinking (not that it was *really* harming her since she had that alcohol tolerance and a body made primarily of magic at this point (plus alcohol isn't really gonna hurt her, she doesn't have kidneys lol) but she wanted to stop anyway. She loves to paint and teaches one of her friends to paint, tending to her friend's garden while her friend paints. She also loves to cook and bake, she eventually helps out with baking at Muffet's, though she refuses to bake the spiders into the pastries. Her scones are things of legend, they sell out as soon as she brings the tray out of the kitchen.

Yeah that was a lot lol and there's little things here and there that I missed so feel free to send in questions about her if you want to know anything! Or if you want to know how Rowan and UL Sans got together (spoiler: they eventually get married and it's so cute)

#ask #anon #oc time babyyyy #Rowan #Rowan beloved #also thank you guys so much for asking about her #I adore her so much and don't get the chance often to share her lore

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icefire149 · 3 years ago

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so this is kinda very random (if it's too random or too hard to write no pressure to do it) but I was thinking of #12 from the "i love you" prompts for hannah x charlie (i don't know what their ship name is or if they have one lol)

Hi there! I'm sorry this took a while to get to. I can't emphasize enough how exciting this was to work with. I know when you asked for this there were a couple posts going around with this ship and that was the first time I ever considered Hannah/Charlie. I really hope more people explore their dynamic more. I enjoyed taking a crack at it here.

I'm sorry if it's not what you were hoping for. From start to finish this took a crazy number of turns that I wasn't expecting. It kept worming away into it's own thing. Right off the bat the spring time part of the prompt flew away. Still, I hope you enjoy it <3

#12 – When we lay together on the fresh spring grass – Hannah/Charlie

“Thank you for bringing me here.”

The seasons were rapidly changing from summer to autumn. Any human today would know from a single look at a calendar. It was strange sometimes to think of how far humans have come since the garden and how much of the world they’ve been able to understand through reason and design. For Hannah, she knew from the moment the Earth shifted under her feet. And now the composition of the air just wasn’t the same as it was a week ago. Shortly, even the humans and the trees would start to notice the change in temperature.

It was normal. Routine. The world kept spinning day into night and summer into autumn, and so forth. Since being flung back into the crown jewel of her father’s creation, Hannah couldn’t help but wander back to some of her earliest thoughts. She could still remember her hesitation when the spark of creation breathed life into mortality.

At the time she hadn’t the experiences or the vocabulary to explain her abstract feelings, but now she could equate the feeling to the sharp sting of a slap to the face or a thorn lodged in the heel of her foot. The Earth cycled seasons and spun around the Sun. The garden sprouted leaves, fruits, and flowers that quickly shriveled and crumbled before sprouting forth again. The humans were built with a carefully constructed system of oxygen, blood, and electrical impulses cycling around the body. It was marvelous to behold, but what was an immortal, unchanging being supposed to read between the lines?

Her father created the archangels long before everything else she knew. The rest of her siblings were made lesser, but until more recently she always believed they were still just as loved. Maybe she was just blinded by her grief and denial. Everything mortal came next, but humans were the ones her father plucked and planted in his favorite garden.

It was because of the humans that her father started altering her siblings. All of them. She never knew what the end goal was to vessels until all of Heaven had to confront the ugly truth: their father left them eons ago. And now, every time Hannah was caught in a crowd, she couldn’t help but wonder if the person who’s eyes lingered the longest was the one who’s skin and bone he’d slipped under.

“Of course! I can’t believe you’ve never done this,” Charlie turned her head on the ground to face her. The tip of her nose twitched as a blade of grass bounced free from the rest laying under her cheek.

“Since the fall there just wasn’t time for something so trivial,” Hannah answered, moving her gaze back up to the clouds slowly rolling by. “And before that…..every angel had a job and that’s just what we did. Nothing more.”

Moments like these were still completely foreign and strange to her. A month ago Castiel received a phone call during their travels, and suddenly their mission was no longer the top priority. Locating the wayward angels was still her mission, and she spent much of her time at the Winchester’s bunker researching while he…..focused on curing the mark of Cain.

It wasn’t the ideal situation or even the one she’d hoped for. It dimmed her and diminished herself to a flatline, because a part of her dared to hope that Castiel could offer her companionship. He was her friend, but he’d stuck by her and saw her in a way that Hannah wasn’t expecting again. Not since the siblings she’d lost when the Winchester’s came onto Heaven’s radar. She tried to establish a connection, even using human methods she’d observed from her vessel’s memory, but he just wasn’t receptive. Nothing clicked until she observed Castiel around the human men he gave everything up for.

Whenever he was in proximity to Dean, his true form would come alive in ways she’d never expected. Despite the damage done to his being, Castiel would still twist, and turn, and hum in ways that were almost too much to bear witness to. And she knew that he was trying to keep himself from doing that in her presence. A part of her liked to think it was because he was trying to spare her feelings since he just didn’t connect with her in that way, but she knew it was because he was embarrassed and desolate. As humans would put it: he wore his heart openly on his sleeve. But, it was beyond the limitations of human perspective.

But since staying at the bunker, Hannah had met a handful of humans. Mostly over the phone, but it was a Miss Charlie Bradbury that showed up one day at the bunker's entrance with a dozen movies and snacks, and a very puzzled look. Since then she’d been a frequent presence during Hannah's research.

And a welcome one at that. At first Hannah wasn’t sure what to make of the exuberant woman. Charlie would talk for hours about a million different things. It was odd to try to conceptualize how many ideas a human brain could hold, and Hannah spent an entire night doing just that after a busy afternoon that rolled into a busier evening discussing the delicacies of numbers and computer programming.

Hannah still wasn't sure how computers could help her mission, but there was something about Charlie's confidence in her own abilities that the angel couldn't help but automatically placing her faith in the human.

“What was your job before things started getting crazy? Dean says Cas was a soldier.”

“He was. He still is,” Hannah started. “I...I wasn’t built for the front lines. My duty was what the majority of the host was given: protect and watch over the souls in Heaven.”

Charlie’s eyebrows pinched together. “That’s it?”

“Of course.” Hannah sat up. She could feel the grains of dirt on the palms of her hands and particles caught in her hair. The rays of late afternoon sun reflected off the surface of Charlie’s car and made her pupils contract. Frowning, she turned to move the nearby road out of her periphery. “It’s one of the most important jobs in Heaven. Each soul generates their own paradise from their stored memories. Maintaining that happiness is everything."

“What about you?”

“What about me?”

Charlie rolled over so that she was laying on her stomach now. One of her feet kicked up and moved idly in the air. The corner of her mouth twitched until it decided to curve into a teasing smile.

Hannah still didn’t understand what connections Charlie was clearly making. It was utterly confusing. “I don’t understand,” finally she admitted out loud.

“Did watching over the souls make you happy?”

Hannah’s head fell to the side. This wasn’t the first time Charlie had asked her something that made her stop and reevaluate several aspects of herself and her memory. And just like the last few times it elicited a tiny pulse, a thrill, through her being. It started when she realized that Charlie kept purposely putting herself into the angel’s orbit. Charlie seemed like she genuinely wanted to know her.

“What?” Charlie’s smile widened.

“You asked an incredibly unusual and strange question. My happiness is irrelevant. That’s much more of a human thing. Angels weren’t built for that. But-” Hannah thought about those old days and the souls under her watchful eye. She enjoyed that privilege to bear witness to their joys. She could still remember the way her wings would puff with pride. “I did find great joy in my work.”

“I’m glad,” Charlie said, before laying her head down in the grass. There was a note of sadness buried deep in her tone.

They sat like that in meditative silence for a while, and the sun dipped further in the sky. Finally, Charlie continued, “You know, people think angels are watching over us while we’re living. Like you guys are ready to jump out and help us when….when we need someone most.”

The idea put a soft smile on Hannah’s face. “It’s a lovely notion.”

“A pipe-dream,” Charlie frowned.

“Well, there were angels stationed here on Earth with the job to watch. That might be where that very idea came from.”

That put a look of surprise on Charlie’s face. “But do they help?”

“Not unless Heaven commands it, and that….” She shook her head.

Charlie sighed deeply before standing. She started brushing the dirt clinging to her jeans away.

“You wish for divine intervention.”

Charlie’s surprise quickly morphed into something unreadable. She kept silent.

Hannah stood up, and for some reason it pained her to see the light dim in Charlie’s being. “I’m sorry,” she said keeping her gaze locked with Charlie’s. And she meant it, truly. “You needed help beyond human capabilities, and no one was there. You were alone.”

Charlie nodded, and led them back to the car. They drove in silence and Hannah spent the entire time trying to figure out what went wrong. Again, and again she replayed that final conversation, but humans were still too difficult to puzzle out.

It wasn’t until they were back within the bunker walls that Charlie’s demeanor seemed to equalize back to normal. She brightened even more meeting Hannah’s eye. “Thank you for that.”

“Of course,” Hannah answered. She honestly wasn’t sure for what exactly, but her instincts told her it was about their last conversation. And that was all she needed to lift her spirits after that car ride.

Charlie took a few hesitant steps towards the hallway that led to her room. She looked over her shoulder. “Will you still be around tomorrow?”

“Mmhm,” she hummed happily. Charlie asked her that same question every day since they met. She wasn’t sure why, but she enjoyed the extra burst of light that would emanate from Charlie’s soul the moment she gave the same answer.

Ask me more writing prompts (I’m using these as warm ups so send a number and a ship)

#spn #my writing #i'm sorry there wasn't a direct i love you. this ended up being more about the promise of a love blooming #the idea of beings who have been hurt and left alone wanting to connect. wanting to be seen and recognized.#i hope that was okay enough

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sunsinrinn · 4 years ago

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hey mamas 😼😼 congrats on 200!! you deserve it 💕💕 could i request shinsou+ my jinji by sunset rollercoaster (lmk if i need to be more specific lol)

Hey queen🤪 thanks you! I hope you like this! Set when both are pro-heroes about 5 years after UA:)

My Jinji

Trigger warning: mentions of cancer-

‘Everytime you lie in in my place, I do wanna say’ Shinsou thinks as he rushes home after a long day of work to cuddle with you, “it’s you, you my babe, I won’t be too late” he says out loud as he continues to run home.

You are sitting at the doctor’s office weeping quietly as Shinsou attempts to comfort you, both shocked at the news. You had terminal cancer. Nothing they could do to save you was what they said. With that, you were forced to retire from hero work. You beat yourself up about it but Shinsou was there for you to bring you happiness during your bad moments.

As he finally arrives home, he hears faint sobs coming from your shared he drops everything he has and runs inside the room to find you in fetal position crying in pain, “It hurts so much, Shinsou...” you say weakly.

“My jinji, don’t you cry...” he says soothingly as he reaches to caress you.

“This world out of time” You say softly

“I will continue to stay by your side for as long as I can. My jinji, please don’t cry. I will stay with you.”

“I’m running out of time shin, I can’t control it anymore... not like before... In this world, out of time. Maybe... maybe in another life we can have a happy ending...” You finally manage to say the pain not being as bad as before.

“Time out of mind, out of mind... Don’t worry about your quirk, my jinji... Just focus on yourself. Focus on working to getting better!” He says attempting to cheer you up. You scoff,

“How will I? This is killing me Shinsou. I’m dying.” You say on the verge of tears. Shinsou throughout the entire time of knowing kept denying it to himself, until now... now that he hears you say it for yourself, he’s terrified as his voice cracks he says,

“Y/N, don’t- don’t leave me behind... Without you, I would cry... I can’t live without you...”He says. You are taken aback by his sudden change in mood. You reach towards his face wiping away a stray tear. “Shinsou... it’s okay, I believe you will be okay without me” You say and give him a small smile. “But I don’t want a life without you, my jinji.”He says dejectedly. You pull him closer using the little energy you have and hug him tightly,

“I promise you, shin, that I will find you in another life. We will be together.” He sniffs and after a while of thinking he says, “What if... What if we ask Eri to help?” He says with a hopeful smile. You think about it knowing it won’t work but know he won’t give up until you give in and try. “I don’t know Shinsou... What if it doesn’t work... What if this is something that can’t be fixed?” He is stubborn and disagrees, “I know it will work. Please just try it...” you hesitantly agree and he becomes hopeful.

As the next few weeks pass, you grow even weaker and make up excuses to not visit Eri. Shinsou notices and still attempts to meet up with Eri.

Finally, the day comes he dreaded. In this world, you were out of time. He does not go to work that day because he knows the minute he leaves you, you’ll be gone. Gone from his grasp and slip away. He hated seeing you in bed pale, and skinny, barely clinging on to life. He tears up everytime you close your eyes because he does not know when you will slip away.

You decided you wanted to pass in your home instead of a cold and blank hospital room. Everyone of your friends came by to say goodbye and each one left in tears, including Bakugo. Shinsou always stayed in the room and never left not even to open the door for them to come in, instead texting them to just walk in.

Early in the morning, He had made arrangements for Eri and Aizawa to come by and attempt to help. Eri agreed eagerly because she wanted to help in anyways she could. You didn’t know though. You would have straight out refused.

So when you see a head glimpse of icy blue hair and black hair, you know Shinsou did this behind you back. You don’t even argue against them leaving not that you can anyways. You had no strength. You look over at Aizawa and see sadness in his eyes, and Eri was on the verge of tears.

You feel bad, knowing it won’t work, especially not this close to death. You made your peace with death. You accepted it. But Shinsou didn’t. And that hurt you more than the actual pain you felt. It hurt so see him sad, and knowing you will leave him alone. But, that’s how life is.

You feel someone get closer and you turn to find Eri and Shinsou right beside you. You see Eri reach for your hand grabs it. You did not want to get your hopes up in case it did not work. As Eri uses her quirk you feel a rush of energy surging through your body but suddenly its gone. You look over at her and see that Shinsou speaks up, “Did... Did it work?” You feel a sharp pain and shake your head sadly, “I’m sorry shin... It didn’t work” You say sadly using the little energy left.

“I’m so sorry... I wish it worked. I failed you Shinsou...” Eri sobs. Aizawa reaches for her and pulls her into a hug, “Hey, hey its okay Eri. You tried your best...” Aizawa tells her and pulls her out of the room to leave you and Shinsou alone.

Shinsou looks down and sobs, “My jinji-” You cut him off, “Shinsou, my love, it’s okay... you and Eri tried your best..” You smile weakly and feel you running out of time. “Just, please, remember I will always love you no matter what my love.” You give grab his hand and squeeze it ignoring the machines and wires you have on. ‘The irony... I can control time, but it seems like I just ran out of it...’ you think to yourself continuing to smile.

He holds on to your hand. But suddenly your hand drops and your shared bedroom is filled with a deafening flatline. He falls to his knees and sobs. He stays by your side crying for what seems like an eternity but perks up when he hears a faint beep. He is confused and looks around to find the source and he freezes when he lands on the heart monitor. The monitor showed the fainted heartbeat.

“My Jinji...” He says and watches as your still body slowly begins to move slightly as you breath. He watches intently as you slowly open your eyes and that’s when he finally smiles. “My love...” You say in a raspy voice. “How?” You ask confused.

“Only you can conquer time, My Jinji.” He says smiling and pulls you in for a tight hug.

200 & 300 FOLLOWER EVENT

A/N- so... I didn’t want to be so cruel. So I un unalived her... hehe. This is the biggest angst filled work I have every written- I hope you like it @yungguhnk :)

#shinsou hitoshi x reader #shinsou x reader #hitoshi x reader #shinsou hitoshi #bnha x reader #bnha #mha x reader #mha

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padme-parker · 4 years ago

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Collide / Chapter 2

[a Star Wars x Avengers crossover]

summary: You get interrogated by the Jedi Council and some calls home are made.

word count: 3,700+

warnings: my shitty writing, a few curse words, plot holes

A/N: I might’ve forgotten to edit some things out lol my bad, also this chapter is really messy but I will come back to fix it once I get the hang of writing for a series

Song(s) of the chapter: Creep by Radiohead, Home with you by FKA Twigs, and Softly by Clairo.

read chapter one here

“Is it alright to feel this way so early? And in my blood, all the sweet nothings fallin' in love overnight” -Softly by Clairo

Anakin was walking amongst the halls with Master Obi-wan and Master Yoda when he felt it, a disturbance in the force. Obi-wan turned to him, “Do you feel it too?” Anakin had merely nodded before taking out his holo device, bringing up a map of the Jedi Temple. His eyes quickly scanned it before finding something out of place, “Look, it’s an unrecognized heat signature in the lower levels of the temple.” Of all the years he’d been living in the temple, he had never visited the lower levels. He knew of its existence and that only certain Jedi, like Master Yoda, could enter. However, he never understood why it was forbidden to enter.

“Master Yoda, what should we do?”

“Go down, you must. Alert the others, I will.” He gave Master Yoda a nod before taking off with Obi-wan. Using the holo map to guide him, he found himself in front of a large steel door. He placed his hand on the door, seeing if it’d budge, but it didn’t move an inch. Beckoning forth the force within him, he imagined the door opening. A warmth that spread from his heart to the tips of his finger, encompassing his entire being until he felt the door shift. Pushing the door open, he put away his holo device, his lightsaber now in his grasp.

“They’re close Master, I can feel it.” Obi-wan took the lead, using the force to guide him to the person they were looking for. It didn’t take the two very long to find them, well more like her. Anakin took notice as to how she was gripping onto the wall for dear life. With her back to them, he couldn’t see her face. Only the outline of her figure, clad in all black. Who are you?

Obi-wan ignited his saber, Anakin following. “Stop right there! Turn around and face us sith!” Oh, so apparently I’m a sith now. Anakin furrowed his eyebrows, why could he hear her thoughts? His ears picked up on the approaching footsteps, as he felt the other Jedi enter the room, his shoulders slightly tensing.

The girl raised her arms slowly, showing defeat. Turning around, his eyes immediately found hers. He watched as her eyes moved across the room until they landed on his. He let his eyes widen for a fraction of a second, before composing himself. He realizes that he’s seen her before, in his dreams. The ones where her beauty overtook him, and they’d spend their time together in the meadows. When he dreamt about her, he felt at peace. He felt whole. Even after waking up, only to find Padme at his side, he could still feel her lingering touch. He had always wondered why the force was showing him visions of her, of their future together. Now, he knew why. He felt a tug in his chest, the force insisting that he move closer. To take you in his embrace and never let go.

He watched as you blinked, licking your lips before uttering his name. He watched as your knees buckled, sending you to the floor. He watched as your eyes shut, your body going limp.

It’s you.

He was angry at the force. Why would they send him to you, after he had gotten married to the love of his life. The force had also shown him visions of Padme and him, their life together. He knew it was one full of joy and happiness, the force assured him of that.

“Anakin? Anakin, I asked you a question,” He was broken out of his reverie by Obi-wan, “Do you know that girl?”

“No, I don’t know her.”

Anakin found himself in your room, the steady beeping of the machine was beginning to frustrate him. He needed you to wake, he needed to know why you were here, in this exact moment. Why not earlier? Before he had fallen in love with Padme? He wasn’t sure, all he knew was that he couldn’t leave Padme, especially now that she was carrying his child.

He walked closer to your bed, before sitting on the edge of it. He observed your face, she looks the same. She even smelt the same, like a meadow of flowers with a hint of something fruity. He took his time to observe you, not knowing if he’d ever see you again. What was the Jedi Counsel going to do to you? He gently brushed a lock of hair out of your face, tucking it behind your ear. Brushing his knuckles softly over your cheeks, he was interrupted by his holo device pinging. Signaling that he was needed elsewhere. He didn’t want to leave your side, but he has a life to get back to. He looked at you one last time before swiftly turning away, leaving you alone once more.

A few hours later, you regained consciousness. Sound was the first sense that came back to you, and all you could hear was the stupid beeping of the machine. The next sense that came was sight. Your eyes scanned around the room, noticing the IV that was hooked onto you, along with the heart rate monitor attached to your index finger. Using your free hand, you ripped off the monitor and IV, the beeping of the machine stopped, only to be replaced by a flatline sound. Oh my stars, does this thing ever shut up. Before you could make it to the door, it flew open. Obi-wan, Anakin, and Master Yoda walked in.

“Where do you think you’re going, sith.” Obi-wan asked.

You titled you head to the side, “What makes you think I’m a sith?”

“What other force user would be able to cunningly sneak into the temple unnoticed?” Although his face was completely serious, his voice held a sarcastic tone. “Besides, who wears all black in a Jedi temple?” You gave him a pointed look.

“Uh, Anakin. Duh.” Turning to face Anakin, you also gave him a pointed look. Both brows furrowed as you called him out.

“And exactly how do you know Anakin?” Right, you forgot that they were going to question you. Luckily for you, Fury had gone over the plan with you a couple of times, so you knew what to do.

“I’ll tell you, only if you bring me to the Jedi council.”

Standing in front of the council was more intimidating than you thought. Especially when your eyes landed on Master Windu’s. You couldn’t tell who was scarier, Fury or Windu. As intimidated as you were, you were also amazed. Gazing through the windows, you could see the flying shuttles and speeders, something Earth certainly didn’t have.

“Right Miss…” There was a pause, they waited for you to say your name.

Remember, no real names. Why? ‘Cause Fury said so, “Alyra.”

“Just Alyra? No last name?” Obi-wan questioned

“Yep,” the pop of your ‘p’ echoed throughout the silent room, “Just Alyra. No middle or last name. Mysterious right?” You said, wiggling your eyebrows, trying to lighten the mood. When no one laughed or cracked a slight smile, you gave them a tight smile. Right, the Jedi don’t like having fun.

“So Miss Alyra, please do tell us why you’re here.” Fu- Master Windu’s voice booms, showing that he isn’t in the mood for jokes.

“It’s extremely vital that you explain to the Jedi Council the reasoning for your arrival. And I don’t care how much you admire that Anakin Skywalker, don’t do anything that will forever alter their timeline. We need him to turn, because we need the Death Star.”

“So, you want me to watch and do nothing as Anakin suffers? Absolutely nothing. Also, how the hell am I supposed to acquire the Death Star?”

“Correct, I trust that you can do that. Right, agent L/N? As for the Death Star, just make sure you get close to Skywalker, close enough that he won’t kill you when he turns, but not too close.” You assumed Fury hadn’t watched any of the prequels because Anakin killed and pushed away literally everyone who was close to him.

You swallowed before swiftly nodding, “right.” you replied. Your mouth had gotten dry all of a sudden. You’d be damned if Fury thought you weren’t going to do anything to help Anakin. You couldn’t imagine yourself holding the knowledge of their future, Anakin’s future, and not doing anything to help. You didn’t know what you were going to do, but you sure as hell knew that you weren’t going to sit around idly. Something had to change.

How were you supposed to explain to the Council that billions of lives were being threatened, and that the only way to save them was through a weapon that doesn’t exist yet. On top of that, it was a weapon created by the empire. There was no way Fury’s plan was going to work without questions arising, so you created a plan of your own. Of course one that Fury would approve of.

“I’m here because not only is my planet being threatened, but so is yours, and every other planet in this universe. The only way to stop it from happening is if you train me.”

“Before we can even decide on if we should train you or not, please do tell us, how did you find out about our existence.” Taking a deep breath, you composed yourself before telling them the story.

“Long ago, there was a Jedi named George Lucas.” You glanced at Master Yoda, noticing his eyes light up as he remembered him. “He was a powerful Jedi, gifted with foresight. Almost always, his visions came true. One night, he dreamt of the destruction of Coruscant and it’s people. At the time, he didn’t know that it didn’t only affect Coruscant, but the whole universe. Scared of being caught in the destruction, he warned his friends, Jedi or not. Together they fled using the bridge, coming to my home planet. There, they started their new lives. George Lucas then created comics and movies to serve as a reminder to himself and his friends of their home. He did his best to replicate Coruscant, but I must say, it’s more beautiful in person.” I can’t wait to see Naboo though. You smiled, a frown soon emerging. This means that I can never tell Anakin of his future, not even a little. They wouldn’t believe me.

You cleared your throat before speaking again, “If that’s all, I’d like to go for a walk.” You waited for one of the Jedi to reply.

“Alright, you have 30 minutes. We expect you to be back once those 30 minutes are over. In the meantime, we will be discussing your stay here.” Master Windu said, waving his hand to dismiss you.

Quickly walking out of the room, you began to wander around aimlessly. You took in your surroundings, admiring the new environment. Who knows, you were probably going to hate it as time passed. The vibration coming from your chest startled you, picking up the necklace you pressed the button. A hologram of Director Fury and Mr. Stark came up.

“Hey kid, how are you holding up in there?”

“Well, I think I’ve got everything under control. I’ve told them about the mission,” well not really, “So far, everything is going as planned.”

“Alright agent L/N, if that is all, I’ll be ending the call no-”

“Wait, wait, wait! Can I speak to Peter, pretty puhhhleasee! Come on Fury, you owe me this.” You watched as Fury rolled his eyes and huffed out a fine, soon after Peter came into frame. “O. M. G. Peter you’ll never guess where I am.” You panned the device around the hall, showing off the Jedi Temple.

“Holy crap! You're in the freaking Jedi Temple. That’s so cool!” You heard feet shuffling behind you, “Hey, I’ve gotta go, but I’ll call you later Peter. See ya!” You shut off the device before a voice was heard behind you.

“Were you talking to someone?” Anakin’s voice rang out from behind you, turning around you found him resting against a pillar, looking casual as ever.

“Yes I was, Mr. Skywalker. However, that information doesn’t concern your prying ears.” you smirked.

“And that is where you are wrong Miss Alyra. You see it does in fact concern me, do you think the Jedi Council knows of this device.” He strided up to you, gently grasping your necklace. You were able to get a good whiff of his scent, he smelt like strawberries and cinnamon. It was a peculiar combination but it worked together. Honestly, that was probably the most attractive thing about him, besides his face. You could stare at it all day. There was just something so mesmerizing about his face, it demanded your attention.

“Why are you staring at my face?” He asked

“Hmm, oh nothing. I just thought I’d never see you in real life.”

“Real life? What do you mean in real life?” His brows furrowed, making the scar on his face more prominent. Shit, not even a day in Coruscant and you had already blown your cover, “Have you,” He inhales deeply before continuing, “Have you seen me in your dreams too?”

Wait, what? Sure, maybe you had a sexual dream about him every once in a while, but you didn’t expect him to dream about you too. “Umm, yes…?” It’s too late to stick to the original plan now.

“So, you’ve seen it then? Visions of us, in the meadow?”

“Yes, I was… unaware that you were having these dreams too. I thought I was going crazy.” Maybe you are.

“Well, we’ve only known each other for a short period of time, so it wouldn’t be plausible for you to know. However, I do suggest we talk about this tomorrow. I’m afraid we have to get back to the council now.” He motioned for you to go first, following closely behind you. The two of you walked in a comfortable silence until the doors of the Council came into view.

“Well, here goes nothing.”

“The Jedi Council has come to the decision that we will train you,” You let out a breath, “But you need to tell us of the threat first.”

“In my system, there is a moon filled with powerful beings. Their greediness and selfishness will ultimately lead to their demise. There was a famine, the poor and weak struggled the most, while the strong thrived for a short amount of time. However, once the food was all gone, everyone perished. Except for one. His name is Thanos. Struck with grief, he sought after power. Enough power to eliminate half of the universe. He…. He wants to spare us the grief of losing our loved ones to selfishness, but fails to realize how much anguish we will be in if half of the universe just disappears. That’s why we need your help. Without your knowledge and technology, we wouldn’t be able to save the universe. But once my training is over, I will need others to help me.” There was a pause, you let the words sink in before speaking again, “Like I said, they are powerful beings. But even they cannot survive a famine. The only reason Thanos survived was because he was exiled. An acquaintance of mine saw this, through a vision. So it hasn’t happened yet, but it will soon. So the sooner I can get trained, the better. But I will need others to train with me too. I cannot take down a titan alone.”

“It’s settled then, Kenobi and Skywalker, you will train alongside Alyra to help her. We will send more Jedi if needed.” After Master Windu dismissed the council, Obi-wan came up to you to formally introduce himself. Of course, he didn’t need to, you had already known who everyone was. But for the sake of the plan, you had to act like you didn’t.

“Hello there! I am Obi-wan Kenobi. I’d like to apologize for my behaviour earlier.”

“Oh, there’s no need to apologize. But thanks I guess.”

“I assume no one has shown you to your quarters yet?” You nod, “Let me show you the way then.”

Anakin watched as the two of you left, a gentle laugh escaping your lips. Although Obi-wan’s hands were clasped behind his back, Anakin didn’t like the way he was so close to you. The furrow of his brows were noticeable as he felt the jealousy grow in him. Snap out of it, you just met her. He took big strides in order to catch up to the two of you.

“Hey! Wait up.” Hearing Anakin's voice made the two of you stop in your tracks. “Where are you two heading?”

“I was just going to take Miss Alyra to her quarters. Anyhow, since your quarters seem to be closer to hers, I think you should take her instead.” Obi-wan stated, giving Anakin the information he needed before leaving.

“Well, it looks like your room is right across from mine.” He began to lead the way, taking smaller steps to make sure you kept up.

“Tell me Anakin, what’s it like living on Coruscant?” You’d been curious, life as an avenger was grueling, although you did travel many places for missions, it was never for leisure. Living in New York for most of your life, you lacked knowledge about culture and life in general outside of America. So being in a new environment like Coruscant was quite exciting to you, but it was also scary. Give or take a few Jedi, some senators, and siths; you barely knew anyone.

“Well, I’m not gonna say I love it, because I don’t. But Coruscant does have its perks. There are many different cultures here, you’ll never get tired of it. Plus there’s no sand here, I fucking hate sand. It just-”

“-gets everywhere. Yeah I don’t like sand either. There’s a lot of branches and broken shells in it, making it hard to walk on.” You finished his sentence for him. Not realizing what you said before it was already out of your mouth, you gave him a sheepish smile. Anakin gave you a smile in return.

As your quarters came into view, Anakin grew nervous. He didn’t want the conversation to end, “About tomorrow, how about I pick you up for some breakfast, then we can explore the lower levels of Coruscant while you tell me about your home?”

You looked to the floor, biting your lip to keep you from smiling like an idiot, “Yeah, I’d really like that.” you continued to stare at the floor as you felt your cheeks heat up. “I’ll see you tomorrow. Goodnight, Anakin.” Finally meeting his gaze, you gave him a small smile.

“Sweet dreams, Alyra.” You watched as Anakin disappeared into his room before entering yours. Truth be told, you weren’t expecting much from the Jedi. The room was moderately decorated, only containing necessities. The bed itself looked like a bag of rocks, but was surprisingly comfortable. Going into the refresher, you were delighted to find that it wasn’t some outdated 90’s looking bathroom, but a more modern one. There was a single sink, along with some counter space where you could put your toiletries. A circular mirror was hanging above the sink, giving the bathroom some style. Everything in the bathroom had been so monotone, the same shade of white. Except the shower curtain, which was a very light gray.

Walking out of the bathroom, you noticed a door which presumably led to your closet. In it you found Jedi robes already hanging, there was also some sleep wear too. The robe itself was black, just like Anakins. However your clothing had been variations of white and gray. What a weird combination for a Jedi. It felt weird to be calling yourself a Jedi, it just didn’t feel right.

You decided to take a quick shower before calling Peter again. Turning on the shower, you watched as the water fell from the shower head attached to the ceiling. To your disbelief, the water was already hot when you jumped in. You thought it would’ve taken a while for it to warm up or that the Jedi absolutely loved taking cold showers. They hadn’t given you any shampoo or body wash, so you just let the hot water do its magic. I should probably tell Ani that I need some tomorrow while we're in the lower levels. Stepping out, you hastily dried yourself before putting on your night clothes.

Sitting on the bed, you took off your necklace. Pressing the button to turn on the device, you scrolled through the hologram screen until Peter’s name came up. Clicking on his name, you waited for it to connect. After a couple of seconds waiting, the video connected.

“Y/N!” He said eagerly

“Hi Peter! How are you? It feels like ages since I last saw you.” It had been only mere hours since you had left, while for you it’d been almost two days.

“Honestly things have been...okay. It’s just not the same without you around y’know?” You could hear the hesitation in his voice, as if he was hiding something.

“What do you mean okay? What happened?”

“I meant to tell you this before you left, but everything happened so quickly, and then you were gone before I knew it.” He pauses, taking a deep breath, “Umm…. MJ and I broke up.”

“What, why? Peter what happened?” Before he could answer, the hologram disappeared and the call ended. You tried to call him back but the call wouldn’t go through. Giving up, you let out a sigh. It’s probably for the best, I need to get some sleep.

Crawling into the covers, you situated yourself before finding a comfortable position. Thoughts of Peter and Mj lingered throughout your mind as you tried to fall asleep. You decided not to think about them for the rest of the night, and instead think of your day tomorrow with Anakin. Soon your breathing slowed down, a smile could be seen on your lips as you fell asleep.

somewhere in the Star Wars galaxy

Darth Sidious sits on his throne, hood pulled up to hide his face. He too, felt the disturbance in the force. Reaching into the force, he sought to find the person responsible for the disturbance. Quickly finding his answer, he lets out a vicious cackle.

so, the last of the Andarae bloodline has returned.

read ch 3 here

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lycorogue · 4 years ago

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Miraculous World: New York - United HeroeZ live-blogging (sorta)

Okay, it’s hard for me to live-blog everything I want to squee about, especially with the first watch. But I’m still wide awake and watching the re-air so let’s see how I do. (Turns out, I’m a slower typer than I thought and most of this was done post-watch again :P )

I absolutely love this special’s opening credits. It has a very Marvel feel. Nice.

Um... Uh... Did... Did Cristina Vee forget her Ladybug/Marinette voice over the break? I’m not liking this voice. I’m not liking it at all. STOP WITH THE VOICE! NOOOOOOO! (Also... Mr. Pigeon... Again? -_- )

Love that Adrien has started looking up the meaning of roses so he can find one Ladybug will actually accept. XD The boy tries so hard. <3

Hubby thought that Cristina might have decided to change up Ladybug’s voice so it’s not so obvious she’s Marinette (a la Batman) but the deeper voice is still here for Marinette. WHYYYYY!? The hiatus was clearly too long. She’s completely forgotten Marinette’s voice. OTL

Awww, Miss Bustier is pregnant!? She’ll be a great mom! eeeee

Also, smoooooooooth Marinette. Adrien is TOTALLY just a friend now... >_> Poor Luka. -_-

Also... ALYA’S VOICE IS WRONG TOO! WHAT THE HECK! WHYYYYYYYY. THIS IS SO AWESOME BUT I JUST CAN’T WITH THESE NEW VOICES! Everyone sounds deeper and gruffer... is that because the VAs are out of practice? Is it because they had to record at home with different equipment? What’s going on!?

Of COURSE Gabriel suspects a Miraculous in America. Good way to bring him to the States. At least Keith Silverstein remembered his Gabriel/Hawk Moth voice. I don’t know if I could have handled either Hawky or Adrien having the wrong tone of voice in this.

Oh. Oh no! Oh dear! Nathalie’s voice is the worst! At least hers can be explained away that she’s still recovering from the Battle for the Miracle Box but... *cringe*

KAGAMI’S OFF TOO! I think it’s 100% the actors not remembering the voices they used for these characters. -_- Such a shame. This movie is amazing, but the voices are so hard for me to get past.

OMG, THE LITTLE CAT TO ALERT LADYBUG IS FLIPPIN’ ADORABLE! I’d hit the button a million times myself, so I feel ya, Chat Noir. Also, BRILLIANT play, Ladybug. :D

Equally brilliant plan on Plagg’s part. At least, it would have been if they were able to actually exercise it. Also.... WHERE DID THIS POWER OF FLIGHT COME FROM AND WHY DIDN’T THEY USE IT BEFORE!? >_> Me thinks the recipe for this power is magically going to be forgotten again once we get into the show proper.

Also, I know there will be salt thrown by the handful at Adrien after this special BUT THE BOY DIDN’T WANT TO ABANDON PARIS! He was going to stay and give up his class trip, but Plagg was right, when does Gabriel ever give him the freedom to do something like this? As someone who never got to go on any out-of-state (let alone out-of-country) class trips, I know how hard FOMO hits. If I had the chance, I would have jumped at it, ESPECIALLY after Plagg came up with a solid plan. EVEN SO, HE WAS GOING TO STAY! PLAGG CONVINCED HIM! And Plagg meant well. He wanted his kid to have a taste of freedom. Just... JUST LEAVE THESE TWO PRECIOUS BEANS ALONE, SALTERS!

UPDATE: The salters did NOT leave Adrien alone for this -_-

-_- And of course Luka’s voice is ALSO off. Still, my boy RACING A FRIGGEN BUS so Marinette can make the trip to NYC! SUCH A FRIGGEN GOOD BOI AND HOW CAN FANS HATE HIM HE’S JUST AMAZING AND *chef kiss* My heart just BREAKS for him though, because he’s sending his would-be girlfriend off on a weeklong class trip with her “former” crush and he KNOWS she’s still in love, but he’s not asking her to stay or pushing her to give up on Adrien and omg this kid is too pure my poor son!

UPDATE: So, apparently the hate mostly comes from Luka being - excuse the pun but - “one note” where as Kagami is more fleshed out and well rounded? Really? We know just as much about her as we do Luka. Just because we’ve seen Kagami flawed and we haven’t particularly seen Luka stumble that makes her more well-rounded? What if we just haven’t seen what Luka’s bad at? It IS possible to write someone whose flaws don’t necessarily come up often without them being some 2D Mary Sue. Give the writers (and Luka) a chance....

Awww. Adrien feeling guilty about leaving Paris and Ladybug. :’( But look at how cheered up he was just by SEEING Marinette! LOOK AT HOW HE RACED TO HER TO SEE WHERE SHE WAS SITTING!

Aaaaand then she panics. -_- This could have been Startrain all over again, but NOOOOO she’s now so focused on “he’s just a friend and I have to get over him” that she just has 0 chill around him anymore. -_- Go back to admitting you have a crush and just stumbling over yourself around him, huh?

(The Adrienette is STRONG in this scene though and I’m eating it up)

LOOK AT HOW DISAPPOINTED ADRIEN LOOKS SINCE SHE RAN OFF FROM HIM! WHYYYYYYY? And he has to be stuck sitting between his bodyguard and Mendeleiev. Poor kid doesn’t even have a friend to chat with on the long flight. TT3TT

(So kind of serves Marinette right that she ALSO feels guilty about leaving Paris and now she has Mr. Damocles falling asleep on her instead of Adrien!)

I do appreciate that Cristina seems to be remembering Marinette’s voice more-or-less finally. Yay.

EEEEEE The sunset on the plane scene!!!!! <3 He speaks so softly to her and <3 <3 <3 (Also... Bryce Papenbrook seemed to have lost his Adrien voice in this recording... -_- )

UUUgh... was that still Ben Diskin doing Nino’s voice during the whole Operation New York dialogue with Alya? That didn’t sound anything like Nino! *sigh* Again, the main problem I have with this is the actors didn’t seem to get back into character before recording. Such a shame.

UPDATE: It was in fact NOT Ben Diskin anymore. :’( The new voice actor did well enough, but it just wasn’t Nino. I’m sure it will feel more like him the more I hear it, but I already miss the Southern Cali 90s Surfer Dude accent, even if it made no sense for a Gen Z Parisian to have it in the first place.

Awww, Mr. Damocles changing into his Knight Owl costume. <3 And then had to change back out of it. XD

They... actually named a superhero Uncanny Valley......

Knight Owl and Sparrow, AKA Batman and Robin.

“That’s just Captain Redlight directing traffic.” XD I mean, yeah, we have a lot of superhero characters but I think this is a bit much.

Alya oh so discretely pointing to Marinette as Nino directs Adrien to look out the window to see how beautiful NYC is. XD

AAAAAAND sliding doors vs Adrienette part 1. LOL I love how Aeon instantly figured out that Adrienette belong together.

Ooooooo Sabrina is gonna get herself an American boyfriend (And look at how jealous Chloe gets XD)

Adrien’s Soft Smile as Marinette realizes she was resting her hand on his stomach as she was hiding from Ms. Mendeleiev. So cute!

“Is it a bird?” “A plane” “No, it’s Hotdog Dan!” Oh. Em. Gee. Seriously? Ketchup Boy and Mustard Justice? Why!? Who came up with these code names!? XDDD

HOW DID NINO AND ALYA JUST RIP A HOTDOG IN HALF!?

eeeeeeeeeeeee THE FLOATING SCENE!!!!

Also, helium-voiced Nino commenting about his chick having wings <3

“Do you know this song?” I KNEW INSTANTLY WHERE ALYA WAS GOING WITH THIS AND I’M 100% HERE FOR IT. I AM SCREAMING!

Adrien’s soft asking Marinette to dance with him? He was practically PLEADING for her to say yes! And then she just scurries away from him!? And he grabs her hand to stop her from floating away. And then they just... nuzzle into each other as they dance and... yup. I’m screaming. <3 <3 <3 <3 (Also, the dance was at a party Chloe threw to prove to Adrien that she can be nice; it wasn’t her birthday, but I guess canonically it now was????)

Superheroes in America don’t have to hide their identities... perhaps someone should look into the comic book run of Avengers Civil War and decide if that’s a good thing... >_>

“I don’t mind being stuck with a friend like you” My heart is just flatlining. Like. ADRIEN, JUST SAY YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH HER ALREADY, OKAY!?

Jess and Aeon’s plan is as convoluted as one of Marinette’s XD I just love these two and I hope we see more of them.

Ah, Alya and Nino are good at manipulating their friends.

Paris is under attack! Oh no! 0_0

Ah, bargain-bin Doctor Octopus

After fully watching the special I know the answer, but when first hearing Sparrow I wondered if maybe Jess was genderfluid. Kind of a reverse of the Sailor Stars.

The transformation for the American heroes is both awesome and ridiculous and I love them.

“Marinette’s in danger” Adrien then INSTANTLY becomes Chat Noir to save her! <3 <3 <3 <3 I FREAKED when I first watched this part because I was afraid he might have spotted (excuse the pun) Marinette transforming. I was also curious how they were going to explain why they were in NYC. “I’ll explain later” is a good excuse. They are preoccupied by the villain and that gives him time to come up with a lie. Smart?

Aaaaand Cristina Vee forgot her Ladybug voice again. I hope this isn’t a new thing; switching up her voice for Ladybug. I’m not much of a fan, especially since she hasn’t always done it. :/

It kills me that Sparrow constantly comments about not calling for backup and gets in trouble for not calling when Sparrow DID try and the communicator was destroyed.

*flinch* The Chat Noir Cataclysm scene. My heart. It hurts. Poor Adrien. </3 All the guilt he has to hold for the majority of the second half of this thing.

EDIT: Totally forgot about the “American superhero gets understandably emotional over a loved one and smashes the villain through about half-a-dozen buildings with complete disregard for the collateral damage” trope.

Dollar Store Batman couldn’t figure out the manhole cover wasn’t in place. Whoops.

The breakdown scene where Ladybug lets Chat Noir know about how her powers work and how she can’t repair Paris. And Adrien giving up his powers. </3 And even though she’s so upset, and she felt betrayed by Chat Noir, the fact that she INSTANTLY yelled when she heard him renouncing his Miraculous and relinquishing it to Ladybug! And her TEARS as she realizes she lost him and won’t be able to return his Miraculous to him since she can’t even ask Fu to return it anymore!? Aaaaaaaaa! My heart!

“Gilbert?” XD I’m sorry but just hearing the poor little Eagle calling out the name is just too adorable.

ADRIEN WANDERING ALONE IN THE RAIN!? MARINETTE LOOKING ONTO THE CAT MIRACULOUS ALSO IN THE RAIN!? MY HEART IS BREAAAAAAAKINGGGGGG

The press conference requesting the NYC residents to stay inside until further notice. >_> Yeah... that... that might not work out so well if real life is any indication.....

“I wouldn’t have minded being stuck here a little longer with a friend like you.” >______< OH MY GOD, ADRIEN! (Also, Bryce lost his Adrien voice again... *sigh*)

Oh, and Marinette trying to chase him down to finally confess!? TT3TT

Oh man. Releasing a superhero from her fear of her powers. That can’t be.... yup. There goes like a dozen buildings in Manhattan.... -_-

Of course the POTUS is a superhero as well.... with access to weapons. Greaaaat. This isn’t a terrifying thought right about now.

I adore Sparrow. I ADORE SPARROW. I ABSOLUTELY FRIGGEN ADORE SPARROW!

About a million missile launchers hidden throughout the streets of NYC... >_< This isn’t hitting close to home or anything.

Eeeeeee. Marinette isn’t just unsure she can be Ladybug without A Chat Noir. She needs HER Chat Noir. She needs ADRIEN specifically. (Also, there goes Bryce once more forgetting his Adrien voice. Maybe he forgot what Adrien sounds like when he’s sad???)

UPDATE: Can we just talk for a minute the significance that Uncanny Valley - the superhero (accidentally) KILLED by Chat Noir (even if she was revived shortly after) - is the one happily returning Adrien’s superhero powers to him? How she has NO malice towards whatsoever towards Chat Noir? How SHE is the one to tell him that “to err is human”!? Beautiful! Love it!

Nice. I liked that Uncanny can’t see the kwamis. Nice continuity.

THE LADYNOIR GLOMP! She was so afraid to never see him again. I LOVE how much this solidifies how important he is to HER, if not the team itself.

The Americans being coerced by a foreign power to start a world war. -_- This truly is hitting too close to home right now....

Uh...How did Ladybug come up with the plan to trick Doorman to go to the Statue of Liberty? Both her and Adrien were already out of the room when he talked about the mystery of Eiffel’s safe inside the statue, and Marinette didn’t have any time to talk to Alya, so the two of them couldn’t have discussed how Doorman resisted figuring out this mystery because you don’t use your superhero powers for personal gain. Did she just luck into there being a mystery there that Doorman wanted to solve? Slight continuity issue there with the writing.... Whoops.

Awww, poor Doorman. He just wants to know the answer to the mystery!

Eagle’s transformation is so awesome! I love it. I love her. I want more of these American superheroes and wielders.

I love that Knight Owl and Sparrow are hand-me-down superhero titles!

Oh my god, Hawk Moth slowly walking backwards dramatically from the window. XD WHY IS THIS MAN SO EXTRA AS WELL!? At least we know where Adrien gets it from. :P

I FORGOT ABOUT THE GORILLA! OMG! THAT IS AN AMAZING CALL BACK TO HIM! XDDD

So the American Miracle Box looks like it’s filled with Native American styled jewelry. So... are they based off the spirit totems!? I NEED TO KNOW MOOOOOOOORE!

UPDATE: Upon really paying attention to the opening credits, yes, the American Miraculous do indeed seem to be based off spirit totems.

I’m sure there’s more that I reacted to in real-time, but, as I mentioned at the top, I wasn’t writing fast enough to keep up with the pace of the show itself, so this is also largely by memory. :P Oh well. Always wanted to do a sort of reaction post about this series. One thing off the fandom bucket list, I guess.

#ML #ML spoilers #Miraculous Ladybug #Miraculous Ladybug spoilers #ML NY special #ML NY special spoilers #live-blog #reaction post #If only they could have gotten the voice acting down #amazing animation #loved it #allll the Adrienette #long post #LycoRogue original #LycoRogue reacts #LycoRogue delayed live-blog

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big-meows · 5 years ago

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Borderlands 3 final thoughts

disclaimers:

Fuck randy pitchford. I mean, obviously i feel like that goes without saying, yes I bought the game, i like the series and sometimes a bitch just wants to sink 70+ hours into a hyper-violent but ultimately goofy, non-threatening video game in a stressful time, sue me.

to that end, yes I played on easy. I also played solo.

i play for fun and i dont fuck with build culture or w/e. i picked moze because i know her VA personally, and that was my only deciding factor.

I play on the ps4 so frankly i have no horse in the epic/steam debacle. I dont really care.

i didnt play bl1 but ive played the others.

spoilers. all the spoilers.

Anthony burch deserved better. I cant believe i have to see “at least im not anthony burch” in the year of our lord 2019 but its still happening out there. He deserved better, and this game is proof. maybe bl2 was “memey,” but it had a solid foundation and a great villain. TPS was also good, i think, honestly i only played it once and I dont remember it super well. Tales is the best in the franchise, and yes it counts, shut up. Burch’s absence is felt here. the story is weak, the villains are flat, and everything is written with the energy of a man who thinks everything that comes out of his mouth is fucking hysterical. like, im not even mad at “big dock energy” or the other stupid, already dated goofs, Im mad that every NPC was painful to listen to, or that rhys, arguably one of the most developed characters in the BL universe by virtue of the game he came from, was 90% mustache jokes. All these characters are like the versions that come out of fandom a year later, flanderized and already boiled down to their one token joke and repeated forever and eternity. You just met Lorelei and she seems cool, but man she REALLY NEEDS HER COFFEE AND IT IS HER ONLY DEFINING PERSONALITY TRAIT LOL!!!

Vaughn is The WORST, BRO

i dont think anyone really grows imo. Im particularly irritated by ava, who i very much want to like! but she has like three stock phrases she uses throughout the entire game, so after maya gets evaporated, you go talk to her and shes like “WOW this ship is cool, so much shit to steal!” like, you couldnt program her to sulk or not want to see anyone for a while? come on.

influencers as villains could have been really powerful if it had been introduced gradually, but mostly it was just obnoxious and too on the nose. troy and tyreen were very hollow. you get brief glimpses of humanity in them, but they’re so rare it almost feel like an accident. You get one(?) mention of their childhood before you finally stumble fully into the plot in the last few hours of the game. troy’s “betrayal” could be spotted a mile away despite it being hardly developed. I honestly dont even know if they loved each other or not? Was tyreen hurt by troy’s betrayal and subsequent demise? did troy look up to her and want to be her equal, or did he want out from under her shadow? i dont know. did i miss those echo logs? should the majority of the lore in a game be MISSABLE?

jack tracked well as a villain because you, over time, learned exactly how awful he was beyond “cocky corporate asshole who wants you dead” re: angel being his daughter. the twins are just....flatline obnoxious the whole way through.

sucks to be leda, apparently extremely badass but ultimately an afterthought who lives and dies offscreen only in recollections of the past.

sucks even worse to be fiona. i can tell you right now i wont be fucking with DLC unless it brings back fiona.

hammerlock saved this fucking game, he brings a certain dignity to the table that really helped level the tone after the rhys-katagawa stuff. Eden-6 was actually my favorite section of the game. loved hammerlock, loved jakobs, loved clay, and LOVED the jakobs estate. dunno why?? maybe because that level had me thinking “i could almost pretend im playing bioshock rn”

my GF absolutely hates the new claptrap. she’s right though. a claptrap that experiences emotions outside of “delusional exuberance” isnt actually claptrap

can my boy mordecai catch one single fucking break

is the vault hunter ever actually there? its really distracting how they’re never actually involved in cut scenes.

zer0 was too chatty. kind of kills the air of mystery.

gripes aside, i DID clock like 76 hours as moze, and i will probably continue to fuck around in it post game to clean up some extra stuff. might even start a zane of fl4k. the reviews promised it would be “more borderlands, nothing special” and thats what we got. it came at a time when i needed to remove myself from social media for a few weeks and lose myself in something mindless and violent, and it provided me with exactly that. its not elevated from BL2/TPS at all. the only improvement i can think of off the top of my head is being able to change quest objectives without entering a menu (thank god). it falls short in a series that always kind of had a low bar to begin with. disappointed but not surprised. i knew burch and eddings were both gone and that their absence would be felt. but i wanted to be gay and do crime anyway. so. you know. whatever. i got approximately what i paid for.

#borderlands

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bigskydreaming · 5 years ago

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Like, I definitely firmly believe that someday soon I will be able to finally resolve this whole jaw issue once and for all, because like....I have to, lol, that’s literally how I get up in the morning.

But just...lmao its so weird to think about how I really have no idea how to picture my life after that point, because like....every day is a ridiculous onslaught of ridiculous that keeps me so stressed, panicked, desperate and oh yeah in pain, to the point of not being able to have a single life goal, ambition or like....future event I want to do, because its almost all about ‘must make today’s rent and food by the end of today so I can eat and sleep and oh yeah also another $800 by the end of each month so I can continue to enjoy even the possibility of this not being the state of my existence for the rest of my life.

Wow, that came out way more pity party than I intended, lmfao, because like the whole point of this post and why I started writing it was not like oh look at me, my life sucks so many balls, whine whine, a little bit of cheese, barrels of more whine. Like, believe it or not I was kinda rolling my eyes while typing out that above paragraph and literally laughing in that “look I know its not funny but I’m still laughing because fuck you that’s why” kinda way.

Bizarre as it may seem, this is actually intended as an optimistic kinda post? And like....the result of me doing deep breathing exercises and making a concerted effort to be optimistic today? Because the point is, the above has been the day to day state of my existence for almost two straight years (look, I’m not SAYING all things straight are bad, but hey if you can, be gay, do crimes). And its definitely not like my life was all sunshine and roses before that, lmfao, but at least there were breaks in the storm clouds, like...I had actually hills and valleys of suck but also wahoo! It wasn’t like........the constant annoying beep that accompanies a flatlining heart monitor, but also somehow seems to keep descending.

Like, I can handle sucky events, as long as I can find that bit of normalcy in between, and I mean, I feel like the fact that I’m still here and have at no point really entertained the thought of not still being at this point, like, it kinda lends credence to the idea that I can also handle sucky events even when I CAN’T find any bit of normalcy in between. I don’t LIKE to, because who would, lmfao, but I can, and do, and will continue to do so.

Its just.....I mean bottom line of where this whole train of thought started and was aimed at is.....its been so long since I wasn’t just preoccupied day to day with constant chronic pain and stress and an unknown future or how long this would last, as well as repeated attempts to fix things that have managed to end up just being a disappointment at every turn so far.....like....I’ve literally forgotten what it FEELS like to not wake up every day in pain and spend the whole day worrying about making enough money to still have somewhere to sleep before the day is over. LOLOLOL, like the bar is super low, I’m aware, but like....I remember that state of existence exists, and that I’ve definitely enjoyed it in the past and have every hope of doing so in the future, its just....I don’t remember how it FEELS for this not to be the only thing on my mind, 24-7.

And I’m so looking forward to that, to feeling that again, even if I can’t picture it at the moment, because like...I’m anticipating how MIND-BLOWING it’ll be, the first time I can spend a whole day just...enjoying myself. With no interruptions, no pain. And as crazy as it may sound, I’m so lucky in that I know that day is even out there? Like I know that as bad as things have gotten for me over the past two years, I can hold out hope that there is an actual end point to THIS state of existence, that it is a specific problem with a specific solution, and once I find it, so much about my life will change because I’ll be able to stand on my feet for hours at a time, go running, exercise, all things that I enjoy and use to keep myself centered, I’ll be able to take a day to just go to the movies even if its just by myself and like, have a fucking chewy pretzel without having to worry that doing so will actually be the thing that finally fractures my jaw beyond repair, lmfao.

And the thing is.....as sucky as the last two years have been.....constantly, day to day....its not like they’ve been nothing BUT suck. I may not have had a single day in the past two years where there hasn’t been at least SOME pain, SOME stress, SOME inescapable awareness of like....all the things I can’t do and the reasons why, all the things I desperately want to do but can’t afford or physically am incapable of, but none of that means that through all this time I haven’t also had tons of good moments to carry me through.

Because I have. And I’m so thankful for them. Even if they seem miniscule to other people in comparison, they mean everything to me, because any moment that takes my mind off all the things that are wrong or that suck and just lets me laugh and MEAN it, be truly entertained, any moment where I’m more preoccupied with being inspired by an idea or something someone said or something I’m picturing, any moment where I’m just smacked in the face with the undeniable truth that I have some of the best friends on the planet and who love me unconditionally and are here for me even if its just to bombard me with cute animal pictures at 2 am so I go to bed with a smile on my face instead of focused on the pain...and the flip side of that, any moment where I’m able to feel good that I was able to provide one of my friends with that good moment for themselves, to make THEM laugh or be inspired or take their mind off their pain or troubles, like.....

Those good moments still exist, no matter what else exists or in what quantities. They still count. They still add up. And the point isn’t even about them needing to add up to some specific tally or quota or otherwise they don’t mean anything, or don’t mean enough....because each good moment exists purely on its own, for itself. There’s no POINT to them, they’re not FOR any specific purpose or outcome. They just exist. They simply are. And that’s all they need, in order to matter.

Because I firmly believe, and honestly always have, that ultimately, life is just about the good moments. They’re the things we focus on when times are hardest, they’re the things that spring to mind when we try and think of reasons to keep going. Because I mean...there ISN’T a specific tally of how many good moments you need to reach before life is worth living, before there’s a reason to be alive. Because each good moment is enough, all on its own. Each good moment, no matter how small it is in anyone else’s eyes, IS the reason to be alive. The whole reason. The only one anyone needs. Because the only way you get those good moments, those small snapshots that are for whatever reason, just wholly, undeniably GOOD and WORTH IT.....is by being alive. That’s the only way you ever get to have any more of them.

Like yeah, 90% of 99% of the days over the past two years might have epicly sucked for the most part, especially if we’re focusing on percentages, defining each day’s ‘success’ by whether or not I spent more of the day miserable or more of it enjoying myself...but when you say screw the percentages, the quotas the tallies....when you look just at the good moments, specifically, let each one of them matter by themselves and be worthwhile, worth EVERYTHING just in and of itself....

The whole picture changes. Because that one conversation I had with my friend Moukie on a day where I just laughed myself breathless at something he said.....that good moment wouldn’t exist if I threw in the towel before I got to it. That one story I loved and just blew me away with how perfectly it encapsulated everything I wanted from certain characters but that I would never have dreamed up myself, but that I kept thinking about days, even weeks after I read it.....that’s a story I wouldn’t have read if I only let the fact that it’d been seven months of chronic pain at that point, like, be the only thing that mattered. Instead of how just that one story made me feel, for however long I felt it. That one conversation, that one episode, that one post or tweet or daydream or whatever.

Anyway. I wasn’t intending to get all sappy or life coach woowoo or whatever, more just thinking out loud or in text, as I’m wont to do, and I use it to put my complaints to paper often enough I might as well use it to put the non-complaints to paper too, lmao.

But I mean. Yeah. Its the good moments that really matter, if you ask me. They’re what any of us are here for any way, no matter what form they take or how much space there is between them, but like....idk, I think we could all benefit from being reminded from time to time that they all count. They all matter. They’re the POINT. At least if you ask me, because if we’re not here to enjoy good moments in whatever shape or quantity we get to enjoy them, like, what other reason IS there, to spend however many years on this earth as we end up getting?

*Shrugs* So yeah. That’s it. That’s the point. Enjoy the good moments, and don’t forget to keep them somewhere you can queue them up when you need a reminder that they exist, they’re out there, you’ve had them before and no matter how long it takes, you’ll have them again. They’re what carry us through however much suck we have to wade through before we chance upon the next one, and the one after that and the one after that. And the more we carry with us, keep with us, THAT’S when the percentages start to matter, if by the end of it all we can say no matter what the actual quantities of good vs suck, or what shapes or sizes that good and that suck took....its the good moments that mattered most. Stuck with us most. Defined us most.

Anyway, that’s where my thoughts took me just now and it helped so maybe it’ll help someone else too, and if not. More verbal diarrhea, business as usual. Same place, same Batchannel. Tune in tomorrow, I’ll probably be bitching about Tim. Or hey, maybe I’ll surprise myself. Who knows?

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doux-ciel · 6 years ago

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Sanctuary

A/N: Hello my lovely angels ✨👼🏻🏹 I’m back with a little one shot, it’s not too dramatic lol at least not as dramatic as I would make it. I’m just trying to write stories that make me smile. And I hope this story makes you smile too!!

Tagged: @youngdumbxlit @cvlms @jess---writes @jadeswritinggarden @bambimattel @requiemdelune @writing-under-the-stars @bzrtales @viviscreams @thewriterkatie @erinisawriter @seraphilth @godxblooded

*let me know if you want to be added or removed*

*Im going to have a link to my post in which it asks if you want to be tagged in my WIP’S*

If so click here -> ✨✨✨

Moving her glasses to the side Sumi Turner rubs her eyelids slowly; suppressing a yawn. Hearing the heart monitor beeping softly behind her. Turning her head over to the patient currently laying the bed. Sumi’s eyes scan him, looking at his chest rise and fall. Smiling to herself she places her hand over her heart. Admiring her work, knowing that one more person will live another day makes her job worth it. Untangling her legs from the chair she places her limbs onto the white granite floors. Sumi walks out the room, having been there all night she knew she had to give herself a break. Her feet leading her to the front desk, after telling on of the nurses to give her any updates on her patient, she feels someone tapping her shoulder. As she turns her body around she is met with one of her co-workers, Kirby.

Kirby holding a drink carrier in her hands, examines the young surgeon with her one eyebrow raised she asks, “Did you spend the night here again?”

Holding her tongue Sumi honestly didn’t want to answer but she could tell there was no lying to Kirby. She already knew she could see the puffiness under eyes and the handprint on her face from the sleeping in that very uncomfortable chair for half the night. Sumi’s mind went to something else, Kirby’s attitude. It was different today; Sumi was confused as to why Kirby was in her face all of a sudden. Not even 7 hours earlier they got into a heated discussion and it didn’t end pretty. Sighing, Sumi rests her body on the desk her back digging into a clipboard. “Yeah I wanted to make sure my patient was ok throughout the night.”

Reaching behind her she moved the wooden clipboard away from her aching back. Looking at the drink carrier in Kirby’s hand Sumi’s nose recognizes her favorite coffee. Yes it came from the crappy hospital cafeteria but still, after a long shift it felt like liquid gold in her body. Swallowing her lips she glances up at Kirby’s face pointing to the cup holder. “I really need some of that”

Handing Sumi a cup of the 2 coffees that sit in the holder Kirby chuckles, “Well it's actually for you, it’s a peace offering from last night.”

“You mean because you?”

Kirby puts up her free hand, silencing Sumi. “Let’s not get into that right now”

Accepting the offer Sumi grabs the cup, taking a sip.

It felt like liquid gold. Being present in the moment, feeling the heat of the hot beverage going into her body instantly brings her peace. Humming to herself Sumi grins a bit, her eyes meet Kirby’s who was staring at her. “Thanks anyway...I really appreciate this”

Kirby’s gives Sumi a nod with her eyes closed. “Your welcome”

After a bit of uncomfortable silence Kirby starts the basic conversation of adults, asking about kids. Which Sumi absolutely despises, “How’s Peyton doing?”

She was rolling her eyes inside her mind, she hated it when people try and make a more awkward situation more awkward. Setting the cup of coffee on the countertop of the desk, she cracks her knuckles. “With my mom....she honestly makes me wish I didn’t have a kid”

“Sumi!!”

Wincing at Kirby’s voice going up a few octaves, she could feel that anger she had just 7 hours ago rising back up. Looking around the hallway she sees a family member of a patient walking down the hall. “What?! Your not with her when we go home, she’s only 8 but she is a terror.”

Kirby eyes brown like pools of honey give Sumi a concerning look. “Well your going home right? You need to rest.”

“I was wanting to maybe sleep in the on call room and just-“

“No!! Sumi I get it you love your job but you have a family you have to see...and not just a couple days out the week”

“Kirby I need to be here for my patient, he needs me”

“Your family needs you more” she argues.

Not that Sumi wanted to admit it but she knows Kirby was right. Unlike her mother she wanted to actually be present in her daughter's life. “Your right....I think Peyton should be at school by now so the house will be quiet, maybe I can stop by 580 Street.”

Kirby, who was not familiar with Sumi discussing her personal life is taken aback by her announcement. “580 Street?”

“It’s a house I used to live in” Sumi answered.

“Why-“

Not even 3 seconds later they both hear a flatline dial and a loud beeping noise occurs throughout the hallway. A bunch of nurses rush to the room where Sumi’s patient who just had surgery was laying.

“He’s down!!”

“Sumi we need you in here!!”

“Starting compressions!!”

Not thinking twice Sumi’s legs were starting to run to the small 32 sq. foot space when she feels that same soft hand grab her shoulder. “Sumi I got this....now go!”

Leaving the hospital Sumi heads down the road, past the sav-n mart and the piggly wiggly. Looking around fairly fast moving town in the middle of nowhere she feels happy to be seeing the sun rise. Rolling down her window she feels the somewhat warm air now prickle at her skin.

Stopping by the store she grabs a fruit basket. As she was in the parking lot eating some crappy Burger King hash browns she had gotten prior to coming here she looks in the back at the basket.

It looks tacky

Throwing her hash brown cup in the bag she promptly returns the dreadful fruit basket and instead gets a candle from the home section.

580 street is where she was headed and she wanted to make sure the family that was moving in knew her well. She wanted to make a good first impression.

20 minutes pass and she is now turning into the driveway of 580 street, she sees the red door she has grown to love.

Sumi seeing the new family move in, greets the mother and her children. As she was looking around the house, she made sure everything was clean and put in their correct position just as she had left it.

Going upstairs she looks in all of bedrooms, first she goes to the one on the left. The smallest bedroom out of the three, not seeing much but a suitcase, a bed, a dresser and a mirror in the room. She goes on to the next room, the second biggest room in the house. There was 2 sets of bunk beds, a dresser, and a toy box. Something on one of the beds caught Sumi’s eyes.

A teddy bear.

A teddy bear that looked familiar, she used to have one just like it when she was a kid. The one she left when she they left their old life. Grabbing the bear she looks at the button eyes and feels the faux fur on its exterior.

A voice interrupts her thoughts, “Is something wrong?” Jumping out of fear Sumi meets the face of the woman who would be staying here for the next 2-21/2 years.

Catching her breath, Sumi replies while placing the bear back on the bed. “No....nothing wrong just remembering old memories when my family first moved into this house, how grateful we were.”

The mother holding her infant daughter gives Sumi a hug. “Now your making me and my kids grateful.”

They hear a thump coming from downstairs, and a tiny squeal from one of the children. Trina pinches the bridge of her nose, walking out into the hallway she yells down below. “Sierra what did I tell you about running in here?!”

The child replies, “We just got here momma you haven’t told me anything”

“You watch your mouth, you hear?” Frustrated, Trina grips the stair beam; her knuckles turning red. She rolls her eyes and turns to Sumi handing her the baby. “Can you take her for a minute?”

Sumi reaches out and grabs the sleeping infant from her, cradling the young child in her arms. Just then a thought quickly came to Sumi about the extra room downstairs. As Sumi sees Trina quickly walking down the stairs She calls out to her, “Also can you leave the room downstairs open...I’m leaving that for a guest who will be staying here with you.”

“Someone’s staying here with us?”

“She’s staying only for a little bit, until I find something more permanent.”

“Who is she?”

“She goes by Mama bear.”

Flashback

The sound of rain

Sumi remembers the sound of the soft patter of the rain on the window.

Mama Bear hates it when you get too close, she fears you could fall in the glass.

Nobody knew her real name so everyone just called her Mama Bear.

She took care of 15 children all from the age of 3 months-12 years old in what we call a back alley nursery.

We were the children of the mothers who were prostitutes.

Our mothers might not have regular 9-5 jobs like the rest of the world but they work hard, if not harder than them.

And Mama Bear was the one who took care of us when they were out doing god knows what with god knows who.

All I know was, she was all we had.

If not for her we would all probably be in the system.

We stayed in a small 500 sq. foot apartment which smelled of piss mixed with household cleaner.

She bathed us, fed us, sometimes if she had time she would even teach us, whether that be spelling or writing. But most of the time she was the only one looking after all of us.

Being at the tender age of 9 I was over being stuck in the house with 15 other kids for most of the day when I could be outside playing.

But I knew we didn’t live in a safe neighborhood, we didn’t live where you could just run around and play outside.

When I would come home from school I would be embarrassed to walk down “Easy Street” where Mama bear lived. Where everyone knew you only lived here unless you were in a gang or you were a street walker.

Momma told me one time that even taking out the trash is dangerous, you could get mugged right then and there.

Momma, her real name is Odette Turner. She always would tell me Odette means wealth, she never knew why her mom named her that because she was anything but wealthy right now. Trying to raise 4 kids, my siblings and I have never experienced anything but poverty.

She always says she’s going to quit every 2 years or if she gets pregnant again, but she never does. She has been working the streets for more than 10 years.

When I was small I remember momma having a regular job, she worked as a receptionist at a local law firm. When the business failed and she lost her job, we were living on the streets for a while. One of her old friends from childhood Junie wanted her to come work at her club.

She worked as a stripper for the first 4 years of my life, then she had my sister Evelyn soon after she started. 2 years had passed and momma had another job and a pimp that came with it.

Prostitution was something I thought you did when you wanted to meet new friends but momma told me it wasn’t anything like that.

Fantome was his name and he was a scary man. Everyone knew not cross him or else no one would ever hear from you again.

Although he was a well feared individual he had his moments. He gave us shelter when we needed it, he would give us food when we were hungry and sometimes he would even get us toys. Although he was nice to us he wouldn’t get along with momma. Him and momma would argue a lot, when he was mad he would take her money and she would have to go back on the street to get some of it back.

One day when we were out at the market, I was holding Evelyn’s hand waiting by the flowers. Momma and her pregnant belly was furiously arguing with the store owner as to why she couldn’t get some apples for free since they fell on the floor. While Evelyn was crying I spotted a bear on the street, a brown dirty teddy bear.

I knew I shouldn’t have left my sister alone to fend for herself but it was just a few seconds. While I looked back and forth seeing if anybody was watching me, I let go of Evelyn’s hand and shot out in the street, grabbing the teddy bear I smiled to myself as I felt it’s button eyes and soft exterior. Maybe this would make my sister feel better. Maybe I can get her to stop crying.

I bumped into a heavyset older lady when I was on my way back to the market.

“Now you know it’s not nice to take toys that aren’t yours”

I bow my head ashamed that I had gotten caught, my arms extend out to give the bear back to the mysterious woman. My voice was hushed. “I’m sorry...was this yours?”

“No it isn’t mine, but it is one of my children’s, She threw the bear out the window because she wanted more crackers...my poor Tilly doesn’t listen.”

An arm snatched me up and I instantly knew it was my mother. “Sumi what the hell are you doing out here?”

The elderly woman places her aging hands on top of my mother's arms that was gripping me tight. The woman had kind eyes, her skin tan like leather and her eyes blue like ocean. She gets snappy with my mother, “Excuse me miss but I don’t think you should be talking to her like that”

We all hear another voice coming into the already heated conversation. A man who was not far from the scene whistled. “Hey sugar, you wanna come over to my house later?”

Momma cursed through her teeth, “Not in front of my kids”

“You a red hottie?” The woman asked.

Red Hottie = Prostitute.

Momma slanted her eyes at her, “What’s it to you?”

“Where do these kids stay while your out?”

“At home where they belong”

I see the woman staring at momma and then her belly, I see her lips purse. “I see you having another....if you need someone to look after them while your working....I could-“

“I don’t need your help!!” My mother yells causing everyone’s attention onto us.

One of my moms friends rolls up to the scene looking very angry at momma, she nudges her in the shoulder which in turn pushes me back. “Girl why are you talking to mama bear like that?”

Momma’s tone gets soft, probably realizing she was being mean to the lady. “Is that who she is?”

“Yeah...that’s her, she helps take care of Sonny when I’m away. Hell she doesn’t charge that much either.”

Letting go of my hand she rubs her skull, “Shit im sorry....I didn’t-“

Mama bear gives momma a smile,“It’s ok honey...is she your oldest?”

Pushing me to the front I’m met with her again, handing her the bear. “Yeah Sumi is my angel, she’s a wild card though. You might have to keep an eye on her.”

“Oh trust me I will never let her out of my sight.”

She was telling the truth, she never let me out of her sight until I was 10.

When I turned 10 that’s when my life would change forever.

¤ ¤ ¤

“Libre comme l’air” Odette whispered to Sumi while doing her hair.

Sumi who was sitting in between her mothers legs giggled at the funny words her mother said. “What does that mean momma?”

“Free as a bird.”

Looking up into the sky Sumi sees birds passing them by, watching them soar above made her feel happy they could go wherever they wanted.

They could be free.

“Why can’t we fly like birds momma?”

“Because Sumi.....we don’t have wings.”

“But you always call me your angel and don’t angels have wings?”

“Of course angels have wings, your wings just haven’t come in yet.”

“When are they coming? I want to fly away far from here and take you, Evelyn and the twins.”

“I wish Sumi.....I wish.”

WeIl Odette got her wish.

After 5 years of staying on easy street they finally got out.

It just wasn’t the way they had planned.

¤ ¤ ¤

“Momma why do we have to go!!”

Sumi saw as her mother was running around the apartment scrambling to get our things in a bag. She pauses yelling at the child. “Because I said so Sumi now hurry up and pack your things!!”

It was the morning just before school started, Sumi was confused because she had no idea where her siblings were. Blinking her eyes 2 times Sumi comes to her senses and yells back. “Momma what about school?”

“What about it? I’ll home school you!”

“No you can’t, you dropped out in 6th grade”.

“Sumi now is not the time to get smart with me!!”

Sumi‘s eyes start to water, “Why are we leaving!!”

“You wanna know why Sumi?! You really wanna know!”

“Yes!!!”

“Because I stole money from Fantome. Now he’s on his way over here and we need to go before he comes and hurts us.”

A light bulb went off in the 10 years old head. she runs to her mother who was in the bedroom

Grabbing a handful of pampers for the twins. She tugs on her mom’s dress. “Mama Bear!! She can fix this”

Odette shakes her head, tears pouring down her face. “No she can’t Sumi, no one can fix this.”

“Why did you steal money from him? You know stealing is wrong.”

“So is not standing up for yourself. Now either you pack your shit or your not taking anything!!”

They hear whistles outside.

“Dede”

“Oh Dede”

Odette grabbed the bag and took Sumi’s hand, “We don’t have time, let’s go!!”

As they were on their way out the apartment door and into the hallway, Sumi pulls away from her mother's arm. Running back to the apartment she yells behind her. “Momma wait!! Teddy is still in there!!”

Odette screams for her daughter setting the bag down, “Sumi you come back here right now!!”

Just as Sumi was about to enter the apartment. Odette snatches her back, hiding behind the stairs that lead up to the next floor. Odette slides the bag with her foot to them, in an attempt to hide their location. Odette sweaty hands covering Sumi’s mouth, she quickly shushes her.

Two groups of men came stomping through the building, one of them knocks on the door of Odette Turner.

“I know you in there!!”

One of the men orders the other two to kick the door down.

As they kicked the door, Odette and Sumi escaped up the stairs and out the back exit door. They got in a car courtesy of Odette long time friend Buffy driving away from the place they called home for 10+ years and just like a bird they were finally free.

¤ ¤ ¤

Odette stole 30,000 from Fantome, its safe to say the family of 5 were probably never going back home again. They moved a couple of towns over, not knowing a soul they could get a fresh start on life. After 10 years of working the streets, she was finally free.

The family is now staying in a trailer home, Odette didn't want to spend all of the money on a big house or a 3 bedroom apartment knowing all she had was that money in her bank account.

After a couple of months the money was starting to run low so she came up with a reasonable solution. She started a new job at the local grocery store; after a couple of months she got promoted to manager, taking care of her 4 kids all by herself.

Sumi was angry about the move.

Angry at her mother for not giving Fantome back his money.

Angry at herself for not saying goodbye to Mama Bear.

Angry that she couldn’t grab her teddy bear when they had to leave so suddenly.

The 10 year old resented her mother and the fact that they had to start a new life, start a new life without Mama Bear.

After 2 years of attending Huntersville Middle she adjusted, making new friends, attending sleep overs, and making new memories.

Memories she would cherish forever.

By High School she was a very hot headed teen, often getting into fights and getting detention all the time.

Odette didn't know how to steer her eldest daughter in the right direction, she didn't know why she was acting out.

One particular morning which happened to be around the holiday season Sumi had headbutted a classmate, the student retailted and they got into a huge fight in which the teacher got involved and got sent to hospital. Odette had to miss the rest of the day to try and reason

with the principal. After an hour of her arguing with him, It didn’t take long for the principal to come to a decision. He didn't want to expel her so he had given her 3 days of suspension and she had lunch detention for the next 3 weeks.

The real reason why Sumi was so aggressive with her classmates was because someone found out that her mother is still out in the streets.

Odette was still a prostitute.

All of the laughter that would occur when Sumi would walk into the lunch room.

All of the snide remarks by them as she would change in the locker room.

All of them mocking her, teasing her, belittling her.

It was all too much for the 17 year old to handle, so in turn she fought anyone who say her mothers name out their mouth.

Many years of anger management and counseling made Sumi realize that violence was not the answer to everything.

It made her realize that selling her body is all her mother knows, she has been doing it for as long as she can remember.

At age 18 is when the light would start to shine through on their very gray lives.

At 18 her mother met Juno.

Juno was a local police officer, who was well known in the town and whose wife just had a baby girl.

Nobody knew the secret life he had.

Nobody knew instead of arresting the prostitutes on his late night shift, he would sleep with them.

One of them being Odette.

Odette was nothing like the 18-24 year olds who would just wear a skimpy top and try to blow you for $100. She knew what she was doing and lord knows she did it well.

Being 36 years old she was well experienced in what it takes to get your money's worth of a man.

Juno was crazy for Odette and Odette felt the same way, but when days would pass. Weeknights would go by of them staying in a crappy motel room. Odette getting on her knees and him washing up afterwards because his wife needs him got stale pretty quick.

She needed more from him.

She craved more from him.

She got pregnant by him.

She blackmailed him into getting them out the trailer and into a 3 bedroom house.

It worked.

"Isn't this house wonderful?" Odette exclaimed as she put the key through the red door.

"Momma you know your wrong for lying to the man like that." Sumi sighed while walking into their new home. Her brother and sisters rushed passed her quickly running up the stairs to choose which bedroom they want.

She was pregnant but got an abortion, her exact words were. "I'm not having a white man's baby"

So she lied and said she lost the baby but she needed the house for her kids to have a stable environment to grow up in.

He let her have the house, he took care of all the bills and explained to her to not tell a soul what he had done.

She obliged and we never saw him again.

Sumi thought she would follow in her mother's footsteps and become a street walker like she was. But she knew better, she knew her sisters were looking up to her and she’d be damned if all her family was, was a bunch of people fucking for money to get something to eat.

She decided she wanted to make something of herself, she wanted to become someone that contributed to society.

She attended college and after many, many, many hard years she became a Cardiac Surgeon. And she couldn't see herself doing anything else.

She knew this was her calling.

Buying a decent sized apartment for her mother and siblings she knew that was the right thing.

580 street was on its last leg and it wasn’t safe for her mother to stay their anymore.

Sumi starting the remodeling on the house meets a contractor named Esai.

Esai was the best and worst thing to ever happen to Sumi Turner.

After dating for 1 year & 8 months, the house was finished and so was the relationship.

Sumi was a workaholic, always seeing patients, scrubbing in on surgeries, even spending the night at work. Rumors spread quickly around town and it was revealed that Esai was sleeping around with other women. When Esai found out that she knew about the other women, he knew he had to get in her good graces. Sumi knew she would never find a man like Esai, plus she felt he was sincere about the adultery.

Instead of ending the relationship she took him back.

He kept his word, 2 more years would pass when the couple got married stayed in the house with the red door. Although things looked good on the outside of the house it was anything but pretty on the inside.

After marriage counseling, talking to their local pastor, they even went on a couples retreat to Greece. They decided to go their separate ways, Sumi stayed in the house while Esai left and went to live back home with his old roommate.

Sumi wasn’t fond of kids, of course growing up she was around them constantly but by no means was she ready to be a mom. But life knows how to throw curve balls, unexpectedly Sumi became pregnant. She knew Esai had always wanted kids and she knew he would want to be in their child's life. So the now exes were bound to see each other for the years to come.

When their daughter Peyton was born Sumi thought she couldn’t love anybody or anything more than her. She knew it would be hard taking care of a newborn with her just starting her medical career but she knew she had it in her.

Mama bear taught her to take care of the people she loved, so she did just that.

Moving back in with Odette wasn’t the plan but she knew, she needed help. After her maternity leave ran out and Sumi was back to work and Odette was a full-time grandma, showing Peyton the love and attention that her actual children had never received.

After many months of staying in the 3 bedroom apartment, Sumi needed a change.

A change of space for Peyton and Sumi.

Of course she could go back to 580 Street but that house didn’t feel like home.

So she wanted to make a new one.

Moving into a small 2 bedroom one-story house Sumi and Peyton lived well.

The house with the red door sat empty for 3,485 days until one day Sumi had a thought.

A thought that would change her overall look on life for the better.

580 street became a sanctuary for women with children who didn’t have a home.

Sumi thought becoming a surgeon was her destiny, But helping other women who didn’t have anything, was more rewarding. Seeing how her mother struggled for years to provide a stable home for them really pushed Sumi to be that light in the darkness. To make that walk way from poverty to middle class living.

She needed to do this not only for the families she meets; but for herself as well.

End of Flashback

¤ ¤ ¤

Peyton, Sumi’s daughter was in the back seat of the car waiting for her mother to come out the bank making a withdrawal.

The May weather was very humid but not scorching hot like June or July, grabbing her Ipad Peyton begins to play a game.

Sumi emerges from the building, money in her hand and her mind clear on one thing.

Getting Mama bear back home with her.

Sumi recognizes her old neighborhood, it has changed a lot since she left, some of the stores that she had gone to as a child disappeared. Her old elementary school got tore down, even Mama bears apartment building looked abandoned. Parking on the side of the street Sumi looks into the windows of the old apartment, seeing nothing but the light in the hallway.

Her attention moves towards the back seat where her daughter sat, sleeping. She didn’t tell her where they were going, she just announced they were going on a girls trip just the two of them and they were to meet a special friend along the way.

After a few minutes of waking Peyton up and grabbing their bags, they both walk into the building where Sumi stayed all those years ago. Reaching the front door Sumi takes in a breath, she doesn’t know if she’s even here, if she’s dead, she didn’t know anything. Putting one foot in front of the other, her hand gripping Peyton’s she knocks on the door.

No Answer.

She tries again.

Still no answer.

Peyton starts to whine about how scared she was, Sumi clicks her tongue, placing her hand on the door knob and turning it open.

The door opened.

The light shining from the hallway reveals an old frail woman, her skin had lost its color, her hair was dirty and tangled, her eyes are still blue like the ocean. She was in the kitchen eating some crackers, pleading with Sumi, “Please don’t take me away, I will listen and clean up after I finish please let me live here….my children might come back.”

“Mama bear?”

Peyton was very afraid of the dark and not having any lights on really bothered the 8 year old child. Leaving her mother’s side she feels across the wall searching for a light switch and when she finds, she flicks it on.

Mama bear frantically runs towards to child, not to scold her but to turn the lights back off, she then retreats back to her crackers, taking little bites of the salty food. “No lights….if they see they will know someone’s in here”

As Mama bear ran Peyton caught a whiff of her body odor, she stands back by Sumi whispering. “Mom she smells”

Sumi who couldn’t believe what she was seeing, she of course wanted to hug Mama bear so bad, but she knew it was too early for that. She quickly embraced Peyton in a hug patting her bum laughing at her daughter’s comment. “Shh...I know.”

As the mother and daughter got settled into the very dark apartment, they decide to light some candles throughout the house. Sumi knew the power was still on in the building so that meant the heat and water was on as well. They both decided to give her a hot bath, Peyton was in charge of washing her hair while Sumi was in charge of washing her body. While they were waiting for the water to fill up the claw foot tub Peyton and her two high puffs start to brag about her mother to Mama bear. “Mom knows how to make the perfect bath! She can do other cool things as well, like make my hair pretty for picture day and she makes really good grilled cheese.”

Mama bear shows the little teeth she had left to the child, observing her face, she touches her cheek feeling the soft skin of Peyton's face. “And who are you?”

“I’m Peyton”

“Peyton, your not one of children”

“No” Peyton replies shaking her head.

Shutting off the water from the tub Sumi Places her hand in checking the temperature making sure it's not too hot, but also not too cold. Satisfied with the temperature she walks over to Mama bear kneeling in front of her. “Mama bear….it’s me Sumi”

Giving Sumi a blank look she starts to take off her clothes.

Sumi not wanting to believe she didn’t recognize her squeezes her hands, her manicured fingernails digging into her palm. Turning her attention over at Peyton it seems as though she didn’t have the shampoo bottle in her hand, Sumi tells her to fetch a bottle out the bag in the living room and then they will get started.

Sumi while helping her with her pants, bends down grabbing her foot and pulling it out the leg of the pants asks again, this time emotion evident in her voice. “Mama you really don’t remember me?”

Mama bears hand lands on Sumi’s back it had two meanings, one for balancing herself to not fall and two for comfort. Lifting her other foot out she replies, “Sumi you think I’d forget that beautiful face of yours?”

As they were walking to the bath water she questions Sumi, “Why didn’t you visit?”

Sumi was afraid she would ask that question but she knew it was bound to come up. She had rehearsed it so many times in her head as to how she was going to answer. But nothing just seemed right, she answered honestfully, “I was busy”

Mama bear settles into the water, “Too busy to come see mama?”

Looking behind her Sumi checks to see if Peyton was nearby, not seeing anything she turns back around. Letting out a sigh, her eyes flutter as she thinks about her answer. “You knew how dangerous it was for me to come back.” Thinking about way they left when she was 10 years old, how Fantome said he would go to the ends of the earth to find us. Some say he got locked up, others say he’s still on the streets and a sprinkle of people say he cleaned up, got out the game and got a real career. Nobody knew the truth but Sumi didn’t want to take that risk of being here long to run into him. Mainly for the well being of Peyton.

As Sumi got the wash cloth ready she dipped it in the water, taking it out and placing some soap on the cloth. Lifting up her arms Sumi starts to scrub away all the dirt and dead skin off of Mama bears armpits. Mama bear quietly states. “It shouldn’t matter…..I clothed you, I bathed you, I hugged you when you needed it, I took care of you like you were my own. Your still my child Sumi, although my mind is leaving me these days. One thing I’ll never forget is how all of my children impacted my life, you all made me feel whole. But no one came to visit….no one came to see how I was doing, if I was ok.”

Hearing that made Sumi wish she had came sooner, to check up on her, even a letter would have made her day. But nothing, for 12 years Sumi not once thought she would ever come here, but for Mama bear she would do anything. Continuing to wash her up Sumi’s lips slowly started trembling and her nose was starting to run, sniffling while holding tears back she cries out, “Mama I came back for you….I came back to take you-”

Peyton’s feet come running up to tub, bottle in hand she steps closer to Mama Bear, “I can start on her hair now mom!”

Turning her face over to the wall Sumi uses her arm to wipe her face. Both of the adults chuckle as the child pours some shampoo into her hands, she starts to work the shampoo in her hair. Seeing it foam up excites the young girl, she giggles as she molds Mama bears hair into a mohawk. Sumi smiles and continues to wash her up, thinking about how life would’ve been like if she never left.

Would have she became a surgeon?

Would she have Peyton?

Would her mother still be alive?

A hand placed on top of Sumi’s breaks her thoughts, looking down she sees a very bony wrist knowing it was Mama bear’s she felt safe.

Their eyes meet and she takes Sumi’s hand bringing it up to her sunken in cheeks. “My Sumi….a mama herself”

¤ ¤ ¤

As Sumi and Peyton slept on one of the couches, Sumi’s mind couldn’t stop racing and she thinks back to when they had just arrived in town. Stopping by the old market where Odette used to argue with the owner daily. Still the same but of course the owner died years ago so one of his daughters had taken over. Sumi was getting some essentials for Peyton and herself, also for Mama Bear in case she can’t take care of herself. As she got to the register the daughter started talking about Momma bear and what has happened over the past 12 years. “Her son took her to a nursing home after last thanksgiving, even though she started to lose her mental faculties little by little bit she was still going strong, raising all those women’s kid. CPS raided the place and took all the children away from her. Of course the city wants to tear down the property and make some new apartments. Of course her son was on board, and is still trying to get her to leave the place but she keeps going back every time.”

An unsettling feeling set in the pit of Sumi’s stomach but she didn’t know why, ringing up the total the Indian woman repeated. “That will be $26.68.”

¤ ¤ ¤

It was early morning; 6:45 a.m. to be exact, Sumi was sitting by the window looking out into the sky, watching it change colors as the day moves forwards.The suns starting to peek out in between the buildings. She has always loved to wake up early and experience the earth right as the moon falls and the sun rises again. Hearing her daughters snores tickled the mother, She swore she was raised by bears with a snore that loud. Knowing today was Sunday and its Esai’s week to pick up Peyton, Sumi knows he’s going to be upset. Her ex husband was an amazing father, never a day late to pick Peyton up, always going to her school events, never complaining about how hard it is to take care of her knowing he has very little income.

He was the father Sumi wanted for Peyton. But Sumi often times thought about the way she would treat her daughter, not giving her cuddles at night when she was scared, missing out on field trips when she’d be at work. Being a parent is hard, but being a mother is even harder.

Knowing no one was awake Sumi needed to speak out loud, turning her head away from the window and facing the living room of the 500 sq. foot apartment.

“Will I be able to take care of my child? When I didn’t have a good example myself?”

Sumi sees Mama bear walk out the back room, “It’s ok, you will get the hang of it.”

Rubbing the back of her neck Sumi responds with deep sorrow. “I think it’s too late.”

Mama bears eyes squinted as her eyebrows furrow.

Defeat was not a contender in her house.

She slowly walks over to Sumi bringing Sumi’s face into her hands; her voice was scratchy but Sumi could still understand what she was saying, “It’s never too late, look at your mom she redeemed herself.”

“Can I redeem myself Mama? Am I doing the right thing?”

Mama bear takes a seat on the loveseat nearby, patting next to her Sumi then follows popping a squat. “I remember when I first started my nursery I asked the same thing...am I doing the right thing? Some moms would sell their children, some moms would take them on the street with them. Some moms would never come back. I said dear god I don’t know what I’m doing. Or if I’m teaching these children the right things but the thing about motherhood is, you don’t what is the right and wrong thing to do. But now as I look at you, I know I did the right thing. I’m happy to see you become a mother, to see you try and fail and teach her the right things…I’m grateful for you Sumi.”

A loud bang on the door startles the 3 females as they were having a quiet morning in the apartment. Peyton woke up in a panic and ran to her mother when the pounding kept occurring.

They hear a voice yelling on the other side of the door. It sounds manly, like Mama Bears son.

“Mom open the door I know you're in there!!”

Then another voice.

“You need to evacuate the building ma’am”

The first voice again, this time Sumi can tell he’s enraged. Although Sumi never knew she had actual children she knew it wouldn't be long before they came bursting through the door.

“Mom just come out so I can take you to a safe place.”

Sumi goes to open the door when a smaller hand grips hers, not letting go. Sumi sees Peyton and those big hazel eyes looking back at her. Crust in her eyes, her hair has flatten out but the child was determined to not let her mother’s hand go. She pulled with all her might forcing Sumi to step away from the door.

“Mommy I don’t want her to go!”

Ignoring her daughter cries she shakes Peyton off and turns the knob allowing them access.

“Mom!!”

“Mommy no!!”

As Sumi stepped back taking a look at the son, she realized he looked very familiar, he must have observed her face too because he was just as shocked.

“Fantome?”

He looked better than before, looked like he has been off drugs for a while. Having on an appropriate outfit for the weather he walked passed her, his only concern at this point was his mother. “I don’t go by that anymore….my name is Nero I don't know why your here but you need to leave so I can take my mother and leave this god awful place.”

Sumi scoffs “This god awful place? Really?”

The building manager nudges him, “Nero take her and lets go”

Sumi quickly places her hand around Nero’s exposed arm stopping him from leading Mama Bear out the door. “No!! Not yet...let me tell you something this place was my safe haven. This was the place where I knew someone else in this crazy ass world cared about me. This is where I knew when I was home, I still feel at home here. This tiny 500 sq foot apartment was the best thing that ever happened to me. Now my daughter got to experience a night here and as you can see she loves Mama Bear like she’s been here all her life.”

Nero clears his throat staring directly at Sumi, he wears a cold expression while getting his arm out of her grip. “Are you done?”

Although so badly Sumi wanted to just grab Peyton and Mama Bear and run she knew what was best for her, she knew mama bear needed to be wherever her son placed her, if that be a nursing home then so be it. She just wanted to make sure she was safe.

Before she walks out Mama Bear whispers to Nero, Nero who didn’t expect the request let her have one last look around the place, she has called home for more than 20 years.

As she was slowly walking around the vicinity she walked around as though the apartment was more than 500 sq. feet. walking over to the same spot over and over. A part of Mama bear didn’t want to let this place go, she didn’t want to let her nursery die out. She also knew she couldn’t keep living like this, like there was still children living here with her.

She needed to let that dream die out as well.

As she heads back to the front of the apartment where every waited for her to come back. Mama Bear sees Peyton who was crying like somebody had died, Mama Bears’ own eyes starting to get glassy as she holds back tears.

“Peyton you're my last child...my lucky number 16, take care of your mom for me as I have for her, make sure she feels loved. Your mom was one of the bravest out of all my children. She used to help me with the kids when she got older. She became my guardian angel, she made me fall in love with you just as I did with her those many years ago.”

“Mama bear…” Peyton ran to hug her one last time.

Mama bear rests her head on top Peyton curly mane. “Shhh child, don’t cry….You’ll see me again.”

Now it's Sumi’s turn, after all of these years she has gotten the goodbye she has always wanted. Hugging Mama bear so tight she cried in her arms as she wailed out. “This is harder than the first time I left.”

This was not how it was supposed to go.

Mama bear was supposed to come live at 580 street.

Sumi was supposed to help take care of her.

They were supposed to be back together again.

Mama bear smooths out Sumi’s hair, kissing her on the forehead she replies, “I know I know but it’s gonna be ok”

All the laughter, all the cries, all the love that was shown through this place showed. The crayon markings on the wall added character to the rather dreary and run down apartment. To Sumi it was her childhood.

This was her sanctuary.

¤ ¤ ¤

After a couple of months have passed it was nearing the end of fall and winter was soon to come. The family that was currently staying at 580 Street were hosting a dinner party and of course Sumi with her family were in attendance. As they set the food out on the table and everyone got in their preferred seats a ring of the doorbell filled the house.

Sumi who just took a bite of her fish looks over at Peyton who was sitting by her mother Odette. “Peyton get the door please”

Peyton gives her mom a nod, hopping out her seat she quickly gets the door.

“Mom!!” Peyton yells out to Sumi.

Everyone’s chatter went quiet as Sumi looked around, nervous as to what her daughter was yelling about. She rose up from her seat at the table. While turning the corner to the entryway she clears her throat before seeing him.

“Nero?”

Sumi found out after Momma bear got put into the senior home that Nero AKA Fantome had actually got his life on the right track, quit pimping out girls, quit drugs, made a new path for himself. He went to school, got a degree and was now making enough money to support himself and support the family he was raising with his longtime wife whom he met when in school.

Nero who was bundled up in a coat, scarf and hat gave them a sheepish grin, “She said she couldn’t go another day without seeing you...she refused to go back unless I brought her here.”

As he moved out the way, they saw her. A smile plastered on both Peyton and Sumi’s face as Peyton ran to her almost knocking her over.

“Mama bear!!”

“Mama Bear!!”

Mama bear embraces Peyton while waving at Sumi. “Hey sugar!!”

Inviting them inside Sumi showed Mama Bear around the house, they even invited her to stay over dinner. Of course Odette and Nero talked, they had a very emotional reunion but they came to an understanding that he is only here for his mother. Also Evelyn and the twins don’t remember Mama bear as much as Sumi does but they have heard the wonderful stories Sumi has told about her over the years. As they were all around the table eating Mama bear wanted to make a toast. Getting everyone’s attention wasn't that hard, Looking across at Sumi she begins to speak. “Sumi, I provided a sanctuary for you and my other children to stay in and now you provide the same thing for other women looking for a safe haven, I raised you right...Sumi thank you for becoming a mom, I was so happy to hold your daughter. I hope god won’t let me forget this moment.” After dinner was over and hugs were exchanged Sumi was walking Mama bear to the car when she stopped all of a sudden. “Sumi?”

Sumi who had no coat on was freezing, her body shivering as she leans into Mama bear, trying to get some body warmth. “Yes?” “My name is Ramona.”

Sumi let out a breath, a smile appeared on her face while she looked up into the sky thinking about all the years Mama Bear has taken care of her, taken care of her neighborhood.

She thought of Ramona which meant, ‘Protecting Hands’

It fit Mama Bear perfectly.

Nero opens the door for his mother to get inside the car, once she’s in he closes the door but not before taking off his own coat and placing it onto Sumi’s back.

“Thank you.” He states while looking out into the distance not once placing his eyes on Sumi.

Sumi looks up at the 6’6 male as she wraps the coat around her body. “For what?”

“Your the only one of the 15 children that has ever came back for her….to love her like she loved all of you.”

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moviegroovies · 5 years ago

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you know, i saw flatliners (2017) when it came out, but i never got around to watching the original until tonight. now that i HAVE seen it, i think i can safely say that the original was really good! it also, unfortunately, made me like the remake a little less than i did before.

i’ve been on a kiefer sutherland kick, if you can’t tell from all the fuckin’ lost boys posts. in that movie, and in a pretty big chunk of his earlier roles, sutherland plays an aggressive gang-member type, the express antagonist for the film. flatliners was a departure from that for him... but not that much of one.

the thing about kiefer sutherland is that i’ve yet to watch a movie where his character isn’t loud and aggressive at some point. even young guns, which has him play the softest & most affable of the guys in the gang, has some uncomfortable scenes where he’s just altogether frightening toward a girl with some obvious trauma, made worse by the fact that she’s ostensibly his love interest. i’m not here to pass judgement on how that translates to kiefer’s behavior in real life; it’s just something i’ve noticed. well, in flatliners, that trend wasn’t exactly kicked to the curb. his character in this movie is nice enough, an ambitious doctor with a calling to break the next great barrier of our time, and also... kind of a terrible person.

i’ve never been one for the “ambition is evil” trope, but this movie definitely plays with it. kiefer’s character nelson isn’t evil, not really, but he has a troubled past that is revealed as the movie goes on: apparently, at age 9, nelson’s bullying of another boy from his neighborhood saw him responsible for the child’s accidental death, as well as the crippling of his own dog. nelson was taken away from his family for this, and, though he says he thought the punishment he suffered after the fact had been atonement enough for what he did, it’s clear that there was an element of guilt attached to the act that never left him alone. in fact, the common thread that binds together the four main characters who flatline over the course of the film is that guilt--one way or another, each of them has done something they have to carry with them, and when they “die,” they come back unable to repress or excuse these things like they were once able to. aside from nelson’s manslaughter, the film also deals with joe (william baldwin) filming his sexual encounters with women without their consent, rachel’s (julia roberts) feelings of culpability in her father’s suicide, and david’s (kevin bacon) history of bullying a black girl who went to grade school with him.

the way that the remake treats the guilt/“crimes” each of its protagonists are carrying with them is the major point on which it departs from the original. in the original, two of the characters, david and rachel, deal with pain relating to people in their lives who are dead--whether they are actually culpable (as david is) or not (like rachel). additionally, joe’s guilt, while it does involve people who are still alive, deals with something that, for most of the film, only he knows about--how can you atone for something that no one holds you accountable for? the only one of the characters in the remake dealing with a similar guilt is ellen page’s character courtney, who feels responsible for the death of her sister in a car crash. the thing is (spoiler!), ellen page’s character is also the only character who dies.

now, i’m going to be upfront with the fact that it’s been a while since i watched the new flatliners, and unlike the original, i’ve only seen it once, so the details are fuzzy. if i get something wrong in my recollection, please be gentle and ascribe the error to human imperfection, lol.

that being said, i feel like the remake fundamentally misunderstood what made the original a great film, trying to remake it in a genre it was never meant to occupy, and as a result, it turned what should have been a suspenseful, thought-provoking story of error and redemption into... just another cookie-cutter horror movie with a nostalgic name. the ways the two movies deal with the guilt their characters face are fundamentally opposed; in the original, only one of the four characters who flatline face the person they wronged physically and apologizes. david, yes, goes to winnie hicks and tells her he was wrong for doing what he did to her in their youth, and when she accepts his apology and sees that he’s genuinely a changed person, he gets a moment of catharsis that’s similar to the one that seemed to be repeated in different forms throughout the remake. however, joe, nelson, and rachel have no such opportunity. in the remake, neither does courtney... and courtney dies.

that’s the difference that bugs me. never mind the way that the remake changed the nature of flatlining itself (as far as i can remember, unlike the 1990 flatliners, the 2017 version has actual demons/monsters/creatures/ghosts/whatever follow the protagonists out of their trip, which always felt like a strange turn from what started as a psuedo-scientific film, and seems even stranger when you compare it to the scene in the original where david finds nelson struggling against himself in the van, implying that the manifestation of billy mahoney that we and nelson had encountered was, in fact, a product of nelson’s guilty conscience), the thing that really fucking gets me is that the remake gives its characters one way to make amends: apologize to the person you wronged, and if you can’t, then you die.

honestly, the nuance the original showed, the way that joe couldn’t ever really fix what he did to those girls, the way that nelson didn’t easily give himself over to regret, even mocking billy mahoney at his grave (“wake up, you little shit, you’ve got company!”), the way that rachel had no real reason to feel guilt for her father’s death except for the fact that it’s easy for a child to take the blame for something that’s out of their hands; all of that was what made the film good for me, and all of that is what i think the makers of the remake sort of missed. a 2017 reimagining of flatliners could have been really incredible; i’ve seen many posts praising the inclusivity of the cast (and yeah, after the original’s sausage party with one token female and no people of color whatsoever, the cast of the remake is a breath of fresh air), and i think that advances in science in the 27 years between the two films could have made the psuedoscience the original thrived on a little more believable. however, when it came down to the heart of the thing, the same understanding of them human psyche just wasn’t there--and honestly, i don’t think it was ever supposed to be.

in comparison, flatliners 2017 just felt cheap.

that’s just my two cents in hindsight, though. i think, coming out of the theater, i really did like the film... it just didn’t hold up the way i feel flatliners 1990 has.

i don’t want to end on a bitchy note, so let me just say a few more things i admired about the original while i’m pouring my heart out. basically: i loved julia roberts’ hair and general Look in this film, i liked the subplot with david the atheist reaching a point where he rallied against god for nelson’s life at the end, and i really enjoyed nelson’s entire plotline, the way he teetered on the edge of batshit crazy without ever quite taking the plunge. from the beginning nelson is set up as an ambitious genius, a real victor frankenstein type, and his pride definitely gets the better of him multiple times throughout the film. despite being a promising student in their medical school, nelson is never very professional in the resuscitation when anyone else is flatlining; he pounds joe’s chest when he doesn’t immediately respond to the cpr, he goes on a little bit of a power trip and plays with david’s life, and he very nearly injects rachel with a fatal dose when the defibrillators short circuit. additionally, when rachel insists on getting a try at flatlining and is backed by the rest of nelson’s handpicked team, he accuses them all of being tourists riding his coattails. he’s kind of messy, and never exactly nice. it fucking ASTOUNDED me that he got to live at the end of the movie, but honestly, i’m really glad he did. as we got to know more about him, it was clear to me that nelson was generally a person with his heart in the right place, acting out of residual trauma and a pretty obvious dose of jealousy. there were always signs that he wasn’t all bad, though: he let the others take over with joe when his way wasn’t working, he listened to steckle and david and refrained from injecting rachel with the stuff he was certain would save her, and by the end, his remorse for his act which killed billy was so genuine that he was willing to kill himself to make amends. in general, i think that nelson was clearly a more troubled and gray-moraled person than page’s courtney, but he was a character in a movie with more forgiveness for wrongs done, and the end product was kind of fantastic.

anyway, fuck all of this. must a movie be good? is it not enough to see kiefer sutherland, unhinged?

#flatliners #flatliners (1990)#flatliners (2017)#text post #okay so i shat on 2017 a LOT but i will say i fucking love diego luna he can do no wrong okay goodnight #full disclosure i think that by the end kiefer was looking SO sexy in that movie so if you're like #'did you really think it was a better movie or do you just want kiefer with all those facial scars to fuck your brains out'#i don't honestly. have an answer for you #'that's the wrong reason.' 'it's the right idea'#lol

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letswritefuriously · 6 years ago

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PLEASE PLEASE REBLOG NOT JUST LIKE OTHERWISE NOBODY SEES IT AND I SPENT HOURS ON THIS. HOURS ON THIS WHEN I WAS 13, BUT HOURS NONETHELESS.

Okay so I wrote this month’s story at 13, so don’t judge. You can clearly see the difference in the writing style (You be the judge of what’s better, find my last story here. Or just go back to my third last post, if you can’t get the link).

Warnings: Possible trigger, attempted suicide, character death (again lol, it’s sort of a recurring theme in my stories okay, I’m going to attempt to have one without death soon), nightmares, dreams, visions, comas

This also had a word limit (f*** the word limit, am I right) so it’s a bit rushed at the end.

(I would LOVE to have constructive criticism, positivity and feedback of any form, so long as you’re not rude, because then I’ll probably cry).

Details

Arwen was on puppet strings, floating, flying through the air. It didn’t matter who was controlling her, because it was beautiful.

But it couldn’t last. She saw it – the black fraying at the edge of her vision. She knew what it meant but couldn’t recall it. She also knew that the floating was going to end soon. Arwen sighed. It always ended. But then she noticed the red blossoms. Not flowers, but blood.

She soared to the ground at lightning speed. Please no!

She wanted it to end now – she knew what was going to happen. A screech emanated behind her. She leapt forward, soaring twenty metres, the puppet strings aiding her. The air whooshed behind her, and she turned, but the creature had already gone. She jumped further, seeing a door ahead. It had appeared out of nowhere, but that made sense now, as she knew what this was; a dream.

Just as she reached the door, a hand grabbed her and imprisoned her, her outstretched hand a centimetre from the doorhandle. She shrieked and pivoted to shove it away, but it wasn’t a monster – it was a boy of about seventeen.

“Listen!” He said. “Wake up. Wake up now!”

“I’m trying! She protested, attempting to wrench her arm away from his.

“No. Wake up fully.” Another screech. “If you don’t wake up now, we’ll die.”

She glared at him. “But I don’t know who you are!” She cried.

“It doesn’t matter-” He broke off. “It’s too late. They’re here.” He looked her directly in the eyes and said, “I’ll be dead long before you wake up.”

And the monster’s claws pierced her heart.

Arwen jolted awake. Her heart was hammering. It’s only a dream. It hadn’t felt real – she knew that. She had been lying here, in her bed, the entire time. It’s only a dream.

9:00 found her at school. She stopped as her friend Kaya bounded over.

“Hey Arwen, what’s up?”

“Cool with me, I- “

“You’ll never guess what happened!”

Arwen sighed internally as she prepared to hear the latest hot gossip. Every other girl in the school was gossiping to her friends – all they cared about were celebrities. She liked Kaya, but she was so shallow!

“Someone had an affair with aliens?” She said sarcastically.

“No! Of course not! Honestly, you can be so thick sometimes! Anyway, these two hot celebrities – that you probably don’t know, you rock dweller – got married, but the guy was cheating! And the article was traumatising, I was crying...”

Arwen tuned out. There were more important things to worry about, like the maths test – she frowned. Was there a maths test? She checked her timetable. She didn’t even have maths. She turned to tell Kaya that something didn’t feel quite right, but the bell rang before she could. Thank goodness for that. She thought; Kaya’s blabber was over. Now I can get on with my day.

Arwen plonked down at a table with Kaya and buried her face in a sandwich to muffle her friend’s commentary of her Instagram. She looked up for a moment, and the sandwich dropped from her hands. She hadn’t been able to place her finger on it before, but now she knew what was wrong.

Like she had seen before, every girl was blabbering to her friends about the latest gossip. But what she hadn’t seen, was that they were all the same. Every single girl was a perfect copy of Kaya, and every girl talking back was the same identical girl wearing designer clothes.

They were all copies. The edges of everything turned white, and she couldn’t see any details. Mist covered the horizon. Something creaked, and Arwen whirled to see the dream boy next to her. “Wake up!” He yelled. “Wake up now!”

She gaped at him.

“I will be dead, long before you wake up!” He screamed.

Arwen sat bolt upright. She’d had many of these dreams lately; they began like a normal school day but became increasingly unrealistic until she realised she was dreaming, and the boy came and told her to wake up.

She walked into the kitchen to pour herself some cereal and stopped dead.

“It’s you!” She gasped. The boy had his feet kicked up on the table like he owned the place.

“Me.” He agreed. “I- “

“But you’re real!” She gasped, looking around wildly. It seemed like it was real; but then again, all the dreams did.

“I don’t have time for this!” He said. “You’ve been asleep too long – you’ll die!” He looked at her meaningfully. “And I will too.”

“Why do you keep saying that?” Arwen pried. “Every time; wake up, I’m going to die. Why?”

“I don’t have time!” He cried. “Just wake up!”

“But I am awake! There’s enough details...” But she trailed off, noticing that they were disappearing rapidly. “But what do you mean? Every time I think I’ve woken up, it’s only another dream! And you’re there every time! How do I wake up? How will I know?”

“You wake up by seeing the detail. You wake up by knowing that it’s fake. I can help you. And you’ll know you’re awake when you- “

Arwen sat up rapidly, and nearly brained herself on the wall.

It was only a dream.

She pinched herself. The pain was real. The dream wasn’t.

She was in the kitchen, making breakfast, about to pour herself a bowl of cereal –

How did I get here? A moment ago, I was in my room... I don’t remember walking here. It’s almost like a dream... She gasped and scanned the room. Everything was perfectly ordinary, extreme details, there was nothing wrong-

My parents! In my dreams, they’re never here! And they’re not here now.

But the white streaks weren’t appearing. They just weren’t there. But the red streaks were. She shrieked.

“Help me!” She screamed. “Help!”

A shadow crossed into the room. It stole towards her and raised its claws, preparing for the kill.

She raised an arm, but it didn’t stop the claws from cleaving her head from her shoulders.

When she woke up, it was slowly this time. Her head hurt, and her vision was blurred.

“It’s the second time they’ve got you.” A voice said. “You need to wake up. Now.” The boy stood up. “You can’t let them kill you again – we’ll both die.” He sighed. “I don’t have time to explain, but you need to wake up.”

“How?”

He smiled. “I think you already know.”

Arwen woke up several more times, but nothing lasted long.

“Congratulations.” The boy said. “You only have to wake up one more time. Then you’ll really be awake. I- “

Glass smashed as a shadow burst through the window. The boy grabbed Arwen and pulled her up out the door. The house disappeared; the world was a blanket of white. She sprinted ahead, and the boy followed. The dream was fading, but not fast enough. The shadow reached out and grabbed the first thing it found: the boy.

In seconds, he was on the ground. The shadow stood for a moment, as if savouring its victory.

The boy smiled. “I’ll be dead long before you wake up.”

And the dream vanished.

The world blinked its way into existence, and Arwen knew that this time, she was truly awake.

“Oh, thank God!” A voice sobbed, tears marring the words. Arwen recognised the voice.

“Mum?” The woman hugged her, and a man on Arwen’s other side was crying softly.

She was in a hospital bed, in... a coma ward?

Her mother nodded. “You were out for three months. It looked like you were going to die, and then he came.” She nodded towards a bed on the left, and it was then that Arwen heard the flatlining. Without even looking, she knew who it was. “After you overdosed, you were just getting worse and worse. The doctors worked away, and they said that soon you would be recovering. But you didn’t. You stayed asleep.

“But he came, like a miracle. And we don’t know how, but he said he could save you, and he did. The doctors argued, but we thought it could be our only hope. We insisted. He sat on the bed next to yours, and he asked the doctors to knock him out. They agreed, and within a day, you were already better. Another week, and here we are.” Tears streamed down her face. “We don’t know what he did, but he did something.”

“And he’s dead now.” Arwen said. Her mother nodded.

Arwen looked over at his bed. The machine was still flatlining.

Thank you. I will never give up again, I will never wish to die again. No matter how long it takes to recover, I will not give up.

And I will always look for the details.

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