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soccerbites · 3 years

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BETTER MAN | RAFE CAMERON

words count: +2k

This is a short story inspired by Better Man, a song written by Taylor Swift. This is not revised so sorry for any mistakes.

warnings: mention of drugs, cursing and fight/discussion I think, and also very bad writing because I haven't done this in months

I know I'm probably better off on my own

Than lovin' a man who didn't know

What he had when he had it

And I see the permanent damage you did to me

Never again, I just wish I could forget when it was magic

I wish it wasn't 4 am, standing in the mirror

Saying to myself: You know you had to do it

I know the bravest thing I ever did was run

It lives in my head. Every day when I wake up the memories rush through my mind, so fast that sometimes I think I might still be dreaming. I wish I could forget it all, but the scar he left in me will forever be open, always burning red and I know it will not be easy to erase.

In the beginning, being with Rafe Cameron was a fairytale, for a short amount of time he was the best thing I've ever had, and it hurts knowing that I'll probably never love anyone the way that I loved him, not because there's no other man like him but because I do not think I will ever be capable of trusting any other again.

My heart raced every time I saw him and saying that my stomach filled with butterflies even at the mention of his name is not enough, it was not only my stomach but also my hands, head, arms, and the entirety of my body and soul jumped in happiness knowing that he was alive, knowing the world got to experience the person he was.

I remember everyone telling me to be careful, his own sister, Sarah, begging me to leave while I still had the chance. But I did not see why, so I stayed.

Even when seeing him and hearing his name did not bring happiness and love anymore, even when his presence brought fear and anxiety, even when Rafe Cameron was not anymore the man I once knew, even then I stayed; hoping, praying, wishing that one day something would click in his mind bringing back the love of my life.

Rafe Cameron never laid a hand on me, I still to this day know he would never do it.

I gave my all to him but he did not see it, or he didn't want to admit it, I gave him happiness, I gave him love. I gave Rafe Cameron all the things he never knew.

I was aware that he was broken, it's a tiny island we hear and see things, I just didn't know how much. And even if I did, It wouldn't have mattered.

Now It's almost 4 am and I'm standing in front of my mirror and desperately crying while I try to put myself together just to not wake up my cat. I know it was the right thing to do, not just for me but also for him and everyone who had ever been involved in our mess.

A mess, that is what being with him felt like. One moment I was the love of his life and the next one the worst thing he ever had, but then when he saw me crying and pulled me into his arms. He would whisper the sweetest things between sorry, and I believed every single one of them.

I am proud of myself because running away was the bravest thing I ever could have done, I saved myself.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again

But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

And I know why we had to say goodbye

Like the back of my hand

And I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

A better man

Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night, just like now, and think I'm feeling the hands I so much loved grabbing me by the waist. I miss the good feelings, When we could not sleep because we would not stop laughing or impeding him from sleep by peppering his face with kisses.

I wish he was a better man, but he never had one to look up to, his dad was even worse. Rafe Cameron does not have a good example of a man to copy.

Saying goodbye was necessary, everyone tells me so, but I wonder how's his life now, does he still think about me? does he regret being with me? or does he regret not treating me like I deserved it? does he blame it all on me?

Does he even think about me?

I know I'm probably better off all alone

Than needing a man who could change his mind at any given minute

And it's always on your terms

I'm hanging on to every careless word

Hoping it might turn sweet again

Like it was in the beginning

But your jealousy, I can hear it now

You're talking down to me like I'll always be around

You push my love away like it's some kind of loaded gun

Boy, you never thought I'd run

And just when I'm almost asleep again, another memory hits.

The Camerons had gone on holiday so I was spending a few days at Rafe's house with him. He had been out with his friends for some hours, I was laying on the couch reading a Colleen Hoover book when I heard the front door close so hard that I almost felt the floor trembling, "he's mad" I thought and mentally prepared my mind for what was going to be another meaningless fight.

"I'm in the living room!" I shouted and heard his steps getting closer. I was really invested in the story that I didn't see him coming until he grabbed the book and threw it across the room, "what the fuck Rafe?!" I got up.

"You're sneaking out to see JJ, aren't you? that's why you come to bed so late?" I tried to talk but he would not stop yelling, "where did you fuck him?"

"What?" I managed to say.

"Was it here on this couch?" he pushed it "or was it on the table?" he did the same with the glass table, shattering it.

"Are you out of your mind?!"

"FUCKING ANSWER ME FOR GOD'S SAKE"

"How dare you?" I tried to stay calm, I was not going to be like him, "How dare you come into here and accuse me of cheating on you?"

"Topper saw JJ sneaking into the backyard two nights ago"

"I don't fucking care what Topper saw" I walked over to him trying no to step into the glass, "JJ? I haven't talked to him in over a year because of how insecure it made you, I stopped seeing my best friend because it made you insecure AND jealous" I pressed my middle finger to his chest, "do you want to know what I have been up to? why I stay down here until three am?" he was not looking me in the eyes anymore, "I go to bed late because I am staying up preparing you stupid little surprise birthday party" a wave of sadness filled his face, "guess it is not so surprising now, isn't it?"

"I- I am sorry" I brought his hands to my face trying to cup touch my cheeks but I pushed them away.

"No, you are not" I walked to the corner of the room to pick up my book so I could go back to my house as soon as possible.

"Please don't walk out on me" he rushed to the door, blocking my way out.

"You don't get to feel bad Rafe, I have done everything for you, and you have the decency of coming in here, clearly coked up to accuse me of cheating on you"

"I am not coked up I told you I had quitted it"

"Doesn't look like it" I pushed him to the side and got out, thinking that was the last time I would set a foot at his doorstep.

I went back the next morning.

I hate me for being so naive, for thinking he was going to change, for going back every single time.

I hate myself for missing him.

Another memory rushes in, just from a few days after the first one.

"You don't do anything for me", Rafe says as he sits on my bed.

"I don't do anything for you? screw you, Rafe"

"You already have"

"Oh, so now I'm the reason you're fucked up"

"You're one of them" I opened the door for him to get out.

"Get out Rafe" he got up and started walking, "maybe one day you'll realize that I might not be around anymore".

"Please, you're not capable of leaving me".

He came back saying he was sorry two hours after it.

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again

But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

And I know why we had to say goodbye

Like the back of my hand

And I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

A better man

Better man

I hold onto this pride because these days it's all I have

And I gave you my best and we both know you can't say that

You can't say that

Sometimes I imagine myself at his door to say I miss him and mentally slap myself. I am better than that, my life is better now.

I am seeing my friends again. They assure me that I did the right thing but it still feels wrong.

"You always knew he is an asshole", "everyone could see how he treated you", "he deserves being alone", that's what JJ says. And even though I know it is true, I still feel bad.

I wish you were a better man

I wonder what we would've become

If you were a better man

We might still be in love

If you were a better man

You would've been the one

If you were a better man

Yeah, yeah

Sometimes, in the middle of the night, I can feel you again

But I just miss you, and I just wish you were a better man

And I know why we had to say goodbye

Like the back of my hand

And I just miss you and I just wish you were a better man

A better man

Better man

We might still be in love, if you were a better man

Better man

I have a letter I never sent him but that I always read.

"Rafe Cameron, I loved you, more than you know, more than the rest can comprehend. I ignored them all when they told me you were no good. I ghosted my friends when you told me to.

I still can't believe how blind by you I was.

After I left I realized that we never talked about what we really wanted, about our future, I don't know if you want kids or you prefer traveling the world without any responsibility, if you want a big wedding or a small one, maybe you don't even want a wedding at all; that would be a shame because you look really good in a tuxedo.

I am writing this to tell you what I wanted and never told you.

I always dreamed about Italy, and I know it sounds cliché, but my biggest dream was to open a little café where you could also buy books or read them while being there. Writing this I am realizing that I never told you my dream and you never told me yours, how sad.

In my dream, I managed the café while you managed a branch of your dad's company. We had an apartment up the store, and every Sunday we would slow-dance to "she" by Elvis Costello in the kitchen just to after watch a movie you liked and I secretly hated.

In my dream, we had three kids, two boys, and one girl. We never got married but you told everyone I was your wife and I pretended not to listen.

We would buy a house in a little village in France and spend the entirety of summer there. I would read while you cooked dinner and the kids played in the backyard, and later sip too many glasses of wine when the kids were watching a Pixar movie.

Another thing you never knew about me is how much I love to paint, I still have all the draws I made of you, I might send them one day. The first month we were together I painted us, it's the view the France house has in my mind from the kitchen window, both of us at the beach while the kids play in the ocean and the sun is setting. It's hunged up in the living room of my apartment here, in Italy. Every time someone asks who the people are I tell them my dream, no one knows that for me it's us, is my little secret.

I'm happy to say that part of my dream became true, I am in fact in Italy and I own a little bookstore, the café was too much, and my apartment is across the street, not on top. I do not have a summer house in France yet, but I am working on it.

In my dream, we spend the entirety of our lives together. And maybe if you were I would share an apartment with you and not my cat and JJ.

I want you to know that I really loved you, and that now, my dream is that maybe in another life, there's another me maybe a bit taller, and another Rafe Cameron who I hope is a better man to her than you were to me, and they are in dancing to "she" by Elvis Costello while talking about baby names with a life full of love ahead."

I put the letter into an envelope with some of the drawings I made of him. I write "For Rafe" on it and walk a few blocks to the mail and send it, and finally, after a long time I feel I've closed a chapter of my life.

I continue my walk down the beach and stop by JJ's surfboard store, he smiles at me when he sees me.

"I'll be out here reading," I tell him and sit on the sand.

I see him making his way to me a few minutes later, he sits down next to me and gives me a little folder, "I found it", he says.

"You found what?"

"The perfect summer house in France"

END

(or maybe not)

#rafe cameron fanfic #rafe cameron x reader #rafe cameron obx #rafe cameron #rafe angst #drew starkey #obx fanfiction #obx x reader #jj obx imagine #obx jj

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kitcat47universe · 3 years

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Broken Heart

Warnings: I have a sad life right now and I am just trying to release some stress

A/N: Please understand it's just the ramblings of my broken life. I have anxiety so it's a bit chaotic.

As I sit here thinking about all that I want to say. I’ve been pushing away from writing as this makes my heart ache more than I’d like it to. It's more, I want to let out what is floating around in my head for me. I grew up knowing I was nothing. I was never going to be considered beautiful, smart, or even wanted. The whole of the world told me so, as did most of my family and most everyone I knew. The rest just didn’t care enough to even bother with me. I just believed them because I had lost all my hope. How do you have hope when it's just a big empty place and no light ever reaches you. My anxiety and PTSD are not really my friends, but they are the biggest voices I hear. They have made me something different in this world we live in.

I was four when I knew movies were not real. Fiction was a made-up world. A four-year-old telling a grown woman that it was ok during a scary movie because I knew it was pretend and she was jumping scared. I don’t know if that’s sad or incredible. I’m leaning towards sad mostly. How can I have such insight at four?

I can remember by the time I was eight I knew without question that a superhero would never save me even though I needed one. I was never going to be enough to be worth saving. I had already been physical and sexually abused and I was well on my way to being completely emotionally broken. (I remember being told to just get over it. That's super helpful.) I coped by letting myself get hurt in one way because it meant that I wasn’t hurt far worse in other ways. I never learned how to properly cope with everything that was thrown at me. Even my immediate family wasn’t really a safe place for me. Yet, I had a sliver of hope that maybe I was wrong. That hope died by the time I was fourteen. I lost myself and my heart.

I finished growing up with no idea what I needed and the only escape I had was going to the movies. I always wanted to see the big action adventure or superhero movies as no one can hear you cry over the loud explosions. No one can see you in pain in the dark. If you still have tears at the end of a horror movie you can blame it on the movie and not a bad life. When the big hero saves their love, I always knew that was never me. I would never be loved like that.

That changed the day I first saw Captain America in any movie. Something about the character seemed so different. I looked up the character and learned there were movies just for him. So off I went to see what was different. That was harder as I didn't any streaming service and buying anything that wasn't a need, well it was problematic. (Ok I admit it I was raising a kid on little to nothing. I know it's sad, but it happens.) I knew not even two minutes in that I was going to have my heart ripped from my chest and this was going to hurt. I watched a little Steve Rogers get beat up and his best friend keep him alive in the end. I was speechless. Every soft spot I could have for a character was playing out on that screen.

My favorite thing any actor can do is make me see the character and not the actor. I was watching Steve not Chris Evans and I was watching Bucky not Sebastian Stan. I hated it. I hated that my heart was going to be broken. I hated that I watched Bucky die. I hated that Steve crashed the plane. I felt like I was watching a part of me ripped out and killed. Like I was watching my own heart stopped beating in front of my eyes. I wanted it to be over. I knew why it hit so hard for me and yet I didn’t want to admit it. Admitting it would make it oh so more real.

I looked up the actors to see if maybe they were just really good and not great people. I was wrong, oh so very wrong. These two men are truly kind and wonderful. I don’t know if they had been directed telling them to act this way or if it was all their own choices. I really want to know. I doubt I will ever know.

Back to that first time watching them. All I wanted was for there to be no Captain America movies and I had only seen the one. (It would a couple of years before I had the nerve to watch any of the other films.) There on that big screen was my hope and I hated it.

These to incredible actors had given the world the one person I ever truly let it. The one I had lost years before. I saw him in how Steve was a “good man not a perfect soldier.” I saw him in the way Bucky always believed in Steve. I saw him in how Steve went after Bucky. I saw him in how Bucky wouldn’t leave Steve behind. I saw him in how Bucky walked and tilted is hat. I saw him in the good shot that Bucky is. I saw him in how they both broke some of the rules but never gave up. I saw him in the captain’s uniform that Steve wore. I saw him in them. It absolutely broke my heart. How could they give him back to me and take him away from me again? The only person I have no doubts about. The one person I know loved me unconditionally and fought for me. I one person I could always count on. I mean always.

They gave me back my granddad. He was a WWII Army Air Corp captain. He flew B-52 bombers over Europe. My favorite photo that I have is him in his dress uniform. Just like Steve's uniform. It makes my heart flutter when I see that uniform on screen. I am a complete softie for WWII soldiers in their dress uniforms.

Losing him was not something I could ever have been ready for, and it hurts to this day. This last decade has been the hardest for me. The last year and half left me feeling about as needed and loved as the worst people in history. I haven’t felt like a mom anymore. I haven’t felt like I was needed even by child anymore. I have felt like the world was telling me that I didn’t deserve to breathe anymore. I hurt so much. I feel just beyond alone.

What would I give to just have one more day with my granddad? Just one more day. And still I as much as I hate having my heart ripped out, I still could never ever have them undo what they did. I could never bare the pain of completely losing what my granddad was. I find so strange that it took two separate good men to give the world what my granddad was. In all the movies about soldiers I have ever seen never have I come across what my granddad was and is. The world can see him like I did. Not physically like since he wasn’t built like a demigod, but at least his heart and some of his soul. He was what grounded me and gave me a safe place. I’ll never know if he was still here how different I would have been. He would have given me my first flying lesson if I wanted to be a pilot. He would have encouraged me and told me I could do this even when I don’t believe. He would make sure I saw what he saw in me.

I know that I will never be able to meet either Chris Evans or Sebastian Stan. Could never afford to and plus I'm already invisible in this world. I wish they could know what they gave me and that he is still here in what they did with Steve and Bucky. I will always believe in these two. Not the superheroes but the good men with good hearts. I will always think of these two actors as great men because they gave me my granddad back just for a little while.

On a side note, I have seen all the Marvel movies thanks to my kid having a true love for all things superhero and space.

If you read this far thanks. Ummm, please know that I serious adore Steve and Bucky. They are as close as I can get to believing in any kind of hero right now.

#ChrisEvans #SebastianStan #SteveRogers #BuckyBarnes #SadLife #BrokenHearted #Marvel #PleaseBeKind

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notfeelingthyaster · 4 years

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Imagine (Son of Hades! Percy; Godswapped! Big Three's kids (6/7) or (11/12)

House of Hades Pt.2 - In the Argo II

Hello darlings! Before reading this, there's at least other 11 parts - and I almost had to divide this into two - check on the masterpost - but don't be sad is ending :(

First - I have no idea if I'll divide Blood of Olympus in two because I hate the climax Rick wrote - so probably? Also not sure if I'll need an epilogue - we're not delving into TOA, though.

Second - I'll keep writing! I have a handful of ideas that I want to do next - and the next AU will have Female! Percy - so keep logging in!

Check on the warnings before proceeding, and good reading :))

To say that things are tense in the Argo II is downplaying the major depression the ship seemed to be sunk in since Perseus fell.

Leo and, surprisingly, Nico are the only ones who are able to get anything done in the first couple of days, but they aren't fooling anyone - the white eyes of the son of Zeus seem to be every day a little more bloodshot, and more than one fire happens without no explanation.

Annabeth didn't stop crying for a second - even throughout Will's examination of her and her brother - for at least 12 hours. Then she crashed for another 12 hours - and when Annabeth woke up, she was enraged.

She is going to bring the damned statue back to Camp - and then she will kick her mother's ass. That's her best friend, not collateral damage.

And when her dumbass of a best friend comes back, Annabeth is going to kick his ass too. How dare he fall - for her, not even his closest friend - into freaking Tartarus?

Frank is devastated - he and Piper are coping by planning the future - how they can spend the summer at Camp and live in Nova Roma, how they'll visit Perseus if he decides to go to college in the mortal world. It feels a little like denial.

Hazel and Jason are coping in the totally opposite way. Where Leo and Nico are fueling themselves with determination, Annabeth is anger personified and the other two went in the road of negation - they're both in a deep state of panic.

The sea became too dangerous to travel - the tides answering to Jason's turbulent emotions - and any metal on board keeps exploding or becoming so fueled with energy that no one but Nico and Hazel can touch it.

They pray together - for Neptune, Jupiter, Pluto, Letum, any god that Perseus ever helped (a lot of them) - for his protection. Jason holds evening prayers - just like in Nova Roma - and they offer anything, everything, for Percy to be alive. Everyone goes.

Except for Will, who is in a whole other league. The moment that he arrived at Camp, Percy was the one to settle him, and calm him, and take care of him. It was a side of him no other person in this ship had ever seen - Nico got in Camp in the worst timing possible, and all the others were pretty independent when they met Perseus.

But Will remembers - the nights with hot chocolate, Percy's warm sweaters, a pair of blue gloves messing his hair, the anxiety when the boy left for school, just for him to keep IMing Will every evening - and he misses Percy.

After the Labyrinth, the war, the losses, they reconnected - the prejudices against Percy's parentage long gone - and it felt like nothing ever changed.

It was Percy who helped him coming out for his mother. It was Percy that held Will after he lost Sibele - a daughter of Momus - to her injuries. It was Percy, always Percy.

Percy is much more of a father then Apollo - and much better as a brother then some of Will's siblings. So Will just locks himself up in his infirmary - and grieves. It's weird in such a hard mission to remember that Will is just fifteen and that he is a veteran of war.

The mood lingers, even when they start fighting regularly against the Apennines - and isn't this a whole other mess.

The mountain spirits are pissed - because Hades/Pluto and his wife are really pissed. It's Malcolm - the only one with a phone and a good connection to the internet - that tells them that the world started having earthquakes every few days.

The mortals are confused because most of these are not even close to the tectonic plates - and none of those cause turmoil at the sea. It's just Hades - mightly pissed his only son is beyond even his reach.

Three days in fighting the Ourae - who don't like having their mountains shaken over and over again - the sky also starts thundering. Coincidentally, it's July 30th - they've been traveling for twenty-two days - which also marks Thesmophoria - the greek festival of harvest.

But, alas, nothing is blooming. Persephone is as dangerous as her husband - and Demeter seems to follow her daughter's lead. With the Earth corrupted - the crops aren't growing.

Jason doesn't blame his matron - he is not really happy himself. Besides praying for Perseus' safety, he spends most of his days in patrol against boulders and rocks of all things.

Leo barely sleeps - too busy keeping the ship from falling apart - and Nico is, most of the time, right behind him keeping the ship steady. They try using canons and fail miserably. There's no way to fight against mountains - it's like Dom Quixote fighting against the windmills.

The others, even Will, rotate between fighting rocks and sleeping. Four days after Thesmophoria, Leo decides it's enough, turns the ship around, and solves to not cross the Apennines.

He just hopes Perseus can last another seven days.

Hazel - the only one awake, because this is supposed to be her patrol and Leo finds her the most reasonable out of all their friends, who would probably insist on keep fighting the freaking mountains - is praying. Like always.

Leo doesn't know how he feels about praying. His extended family was very catholic - they prayed for a god that they couldn't see or touch. But Leo met the gods - or, if Annabeth is to be believed, one set of them - and he doesn't like them.

They're petty children who have no care for the fate of their children - the ones who fight for them, go on their errands, keep them alive, y'know. Leo doesn't want to praise them. He doesn't think they deserve it.

But Hazel's prayers are answered when her venti, Tempest, appears aboard. Hazel tells Leo to go on without her - she'll be back soon.

He is concerned for her - like always. Of all new people, Leo seems to be the closest to her - his overall cheeriness and electric behavior are endearing to her, a light in these dark times. Sometimes, his smile makes her flush - just like Frank's did and still does.

Hazel mounts Tempest and the venti takes her, through mountains and hills, to a door. There's mist curling at her ankles and a chill in her spine.

She isn't very thrilled by meeting Trivia - Hazel heard stories of her greek son by Perseus, who seemed to hold the guy in high standard, but she knows gods. The goddess of magic wants something.

Trivia is an imposing woman - taller than Hazel, she has the same midnight skin as Perseus, though hers looks purple-ish, and her eyes are entire universes - stars bloom in her irises and twin moons rise in her pupils.

The goddess is fickle - she seems to be there and not, at the same time. Ghostly. There's three of them, then one, then five.

Trivia beacons to the daughter of Jupiter and she follows, the cursed little girl she is. The goddess offers her three options: Perseus, prone in the ground as she, Leo, and Annabeth battle an invisible foe, the two demigod installments at war, or the Argo II.

Hazel chooses the Argo II, but she promises herself, and the goddess, that she will save Perseus, and that no demigod blood will be spilled by other demigod's hand. Not again.

She will learn how to control the Mist. But Trivia is very mistaken if she thinks Hazel is going to become her acolyte. She remembers well what happened last time - she died.

The Argo II is traveling without much hassle - when they're crossing Monte Falterona, in the Campigna National Park, they are attacked by a new mountain spirit - and this one talks.

"Get Pluto his brat back, you useless halflings!"

Like the boulders the immortal is throwing at them will help. Leo screams this back at the mountain, who is not impressed at all.

Their next foe is in San Marino - a chimera. Most popular knowledge is wrong about those monsters: chimeras are not just goat-lion-snake mixes. They are an amalgamation of any three or more animals.

This one, in particular, is a very... candid mix of a Pyrenean chamois, a monk-seal, a mouflon, and a goose. Not very lethal or hazardous - just very angry. It's the first time they hear Annabeth laugh since Perseus fell.

While Malcolm is chasing and being chased around by an evil goat-goose-seal-weirdass deer chimera that he is fending off with an encyclopedia, the others can't even bring themselves to help. It's ridiculous - the thing is not even big. It's just ugly and it sounds like a honking clown.

Eventually, they get around to killing the clown chimera - it honks as it vanishes - and following route to Bologna. Frank tries to mutate to the chimera during the travel - to different levels of failure - which makes everyone laugh.

Thanks to their two encounters, the crew gets to Bologna at two in the afternoon.

Frank can't help counting the days as they pass him by. He is not the only one - he can see Annabeth muttering the time every now and then - but it feels like a countdown. Can Perseus survive one more week in Tartarus?

Even with the pressing worry for his lost friend, he can't stop thinking about Hazel and Leo. The two of them are thick as thieves - and Frank wants in.

But he knows it's wrong - Leo is a boy. Hazel is younger. Leo bares a power that could kill him. Hazel is his best friend. They're two people. - but he sees them flirting and can't keep his eyes to himself.

It's wrong. Soldiers aren't supposed to date men. Men who dated men are prostitutes, entertainers. Less. And two people at the same time? Outside of a bedroom? Preposterous.

Frank wishes he was more like Perseus. Perseus is all about duty: he would eventually marry Reyna. Or Annabeth, or other pretty and intelligent warrior, and have two point five kids with a picket fence.

But no. Here he is - midday, they are stopping for lunch, and he can't keep his eyes off Leo and Hazel - who are quietly chatting in the other end of the long table.

Frank ponders what would they think. Would the two be repulsed? Would they laugh at him? He can deal with laughter. Their disgust, however, would cut his heart in half.

Nico is in a very similar, and yet completely different, situation. He has been in love - or as close as love could be when you never dated the person - with Perseus Jackson.

He knows it's okay to be gay - he is friends with Will and Jake. He lives on CHB since he was a pre-teen. Perseus himself was - is - queer.

But the thing is, he'll never have a chance with him. Not the chance he is longing for gods know how long. He failed Perseus yet again - he let the demigod fall.

Perseus can have anyone. Perfect Annabeth Chase, Shrewd Reyna Arellano, Magic Alabaster Torrington, anyone. And he wouldn't have a problem with that - no. The problem is that he can't make a choice. Because he is in Tartarus.

Because Nico. Let. Him. Fall.

He isn't even sure if he let Perseus fall on purpose. A part of his mind knew someone would have to go. It was always meant to be Perseus. Did he purposefully let him go?

The rational part of his mind knew that if he tried to fly them off, all he would accomplish is falling into Tartarus with Perseus, probably dragging Annabeth with them.

But the guilt creeps into his heart - again, yet again, Perseus suffers for something he did or failed to do. He can't sleep. He doesn't know how anyone can eat.

A rock for him in these difficult times has been Jason. The son of Neptune seems to be as affected as Hazel or Annabeth - but Nico would never be able to rely on them.

Hazel has her own problems - a lot of them since Trivia appeared - and Annabeth is a painful reminder of everything Nico is unable to have.

Jason, however, is different. They had dreams of each other - something about their conquests, Nico didn't pay attention - and that apparently brought them close. Jason, differently from Annabeth, isn't a competition. He isn't vying for Percy's attention and love.

He is just a close friend - like Nico pretends to be most of the time - incredibly worried about the son of Hades. Nico would tell Jason about how he feels - but the militar roman's sensibilities might not be adjusted to the greeks' freedom yet.

Nico, however, is also not the only one with heart problems. Piper finds himself entranced by Annabeth Chase - even when she knows, she knows because of her powers, that Annabeth is painfully straight.

And Piper knows it's not love - it's the heat of the upcoming war and the hormones of being cooped up with just other teenagers for twenty days. She sees the blossoms of young lovers everywhere.

The yearning between Leo, Hazel, and Frank; Nico and Jason unconsciously sharing long-term crushes on Perseus; Will missing Jake and his parental figure;

She wishes she was more like Malcolm. Malcolm is asexual - besides being the only other transexual person on board.

Before this war spiked from nothing, the boy was just back from his mission for Hermaphroditus - a two-month search for a missing choker. He is still adapting to his body - it's bigger and broader and he doesn't have to wear a binder. Piper thinks it's amazing - he tells her it isn't that easy.

It's not a slow transition. One second your body is something - and then it isn't. One morning, the demigod caught him holding a red binder in his hands. Sometimes, she sees a shot of testosterone tucked in his pocket.

One day, he was a boy stuck in a girl's body. Then, he wasn't anymore. He has the body he dreamed of for forever - and it's difficult accepting it. Malcolm tells her is not exactly body dysphoria - is just difficult to conciliate.

Piper thinks after this, she'll get her body. After all of this, she deserves it - her body, all hers, with boobs and a killer jawline. Maybe then, it'll be easier to like girls as well. Maybe then, she'll shave half of her head and get a piercing. And maybe, a couple of tattoos.

But while this doesn't happen, she is whining to her asexual friend about her crush in his sister. Malcolm crushes her with logic - "Annabeth has only shown interest in men. She might be bi or pan or even a lesbian, but the odds aren't on your favor" - and she tries to put the blonde out of her mind.

Lunch, however, is a little ridiculous for her. As a daughter of love herself, that table is such a mess of yearning and pining and infatuations.

Malcolm seems to be the only rational - but even he is a little flushed. Piper totally saw that picture of Mitchell in his drawer last week.

She couldn't blame him really - her brother is hot. All demigods are - in very different ways of course, but their godly blood made them more or less otherworldly compared to mortals. Didn't matter their ethnicity, their gender, if they're disabled or not - they are all hot.

Piper, however, doesn't spend all her time freaking over hot people. She is a teenager with a friend who has a good connection to the internet, so she does that a lot - but most of her time these days is looking at Katoptris.

She's waiting for a vision of Perseus. Anything - just proof that he is alive, that he hasn't curled in a ball on whatever is the ground down there and went mad.

It doesn't come. She is looking at this ridiculous lunch table, eating vegetarian burgers, and waiting. Just as it seems like her dagger starts glowing gold - two monkey twins sweep down and steal it. And Leo's tool belt and Archimedes' Sphere.

Piper is really pissed. She wants this mission to end - she wants to find Perseus and stop Gaea, and that's her magical item. It's important. So she and Leo go after the twin monkeys.

Using one of the armory's javelin - for lack of a better option - they sprint over roofs and marketplaces. Bologna is a beautiful city - but they have no time.

They corner the twin monkeys, get their things back - and some things pertaining to a god of harvest - Triptolemus. Perhaps if they make an offer to him, Demeter and Persephone will be more cooperative. Maybe Persephone will be able to calm her husband.

Piper really doubts it. If she learned anything in the nineteen days she traveled with Perseus, is that he calls Persephone "Kore" or "Mater". The only other person he refers to with such open childish joy is his own mother, Sally.

The guy IMed both of them twice a week - enough that Piper knows their voices. While Hades isn't high in the demigod's list of people, his wife seemed to be at least number #2.

But they go back to the ship and relay their plan anyway. They set route to Venice. In the hour that it takes them to get there, they're delayed twice: once by the personification of River Ádige - which enabled them to pass until Jason helped with a small problem - and then by a couple of ventis - which Hazel sent off.

Frank, Annabeth, Hazel and Nico venture into the drowned city - Piper declines to go, saying that she is waiting for Katoptris to cooperate - being Nico the only one who actually speaks Italian in the ship.

The city is infested with anteater-like herbivorous monsters called katoplebones, which are pointedly not from the Greek pantheon. It's pretty rare for monsters to cross pantheons - and the Egyptians are pretty good in keeping them under lock and key - but sometimes, this happens.

They aren't capacitated to deal with those. Annabeth has half a mind to call the Kanes and demand an explanation. Pretty sure they were possessed by the gods to avoid this kind of situation.

She doesn't have much time to think - Hazel is quickly overwhelmed by the poisonous breath of the cows. Of course - is there anything in Egypt that isn't connected to snakes?

They find Triptolemus - who is not thrilled with their presence. Demeter - his mistress - and her daughter are distraught by Perseus' missing status - and he blames Annabeth and Nico for it.

Annabeth tries to persuade him - after all, they have Jason on board, and he is blessed by Ceres. Triptolemus - a very greek god - is not swayed.

"Your trickster words shall not fool me, daughter of Athena."

That's how Annabeth became a rosemary bush - good for memory and brainpower. Nico, when he tried to fight back, became a corn crop.

Mars is whispering in Frank's mind - he is not really fond of his father but uses his help to kill the evil Egyptian cows and get a python for the god's chariot.

He can't let Hazel die. He can't see the light go off her eyes - to see the same pain reflected in Leo's eyes. But Frank is so using Nico's stunt as a corn plant as blackmail material later. Not with Annabeth thought - she would stab him.

Triptolemus, pleased, turns Nico and Annabeth back to human and heals Hazel. Then, he tells them they have to eat barley cakes - so they can survive the poison needed to enter the house of the dead.

Proceeding south down the Adriatic toward Greece, a journey that should take about half a day, the crew of the Argo II is first accosted in Koper - a city on the coast of Slovenia - by four monocerus in the middle of the night.

Monocerus, in Leo's very succinct explanation, are "evil unicorns with big feet that can't fly and shouldn't be in a flying ship".

Whoever, the monsters apparently don't care where they should or not be - and Annabeth - still reeling for her time as rosemary - takes two of them out, keeping the horns as a prize. Nico takes one, who is so beat that leaves nothing, and Malcolm kills one with a handgun.

It's not the most practical weapon, because celestial bronze is not that easy to fabricate/find/obtain - so to use it in bullets that will explode and render it unusable it's kind of a desperate - but it's the first thing he could get - Malcolm's double tessen was being repaired by Leo.

Because yes - not only was the twenty years old able to fight with normal blades, he also fights with freaking fans made of iron.

After the run-in with the evil unicorns - Annabeth looks really cool covered in gold blood and curved silver horns in her hands - they proceed across Croatia.

It goes well for about thirty minutes - in Zadar, they cross paths with Sciron. Sciron is a bandit and outlaw, who - for some reason, is assisted by a giant predatory sea turtle.

While Hazel tricks him into throwing himself off the cliff using her new-discovered Mist, Jason talks to the turtle. It says its name is Chelone - that it's the turtle who took Aphrodite Ourania from the depths of the sea to the shores of Cythera - when she was still young, with remains of other goddesses in her anima - Innana and Ishtar.

He convinces the turtle to stop killing people - mainly by saying that he should hunt elsewhere, deeper onto the sea. It may become a problem for his father, but Jason has bigger issues right now.

They go to sleep, and Hazel dreams. She expects any god to come - but who comes to her is none other than Pluto and his wife, Proserpina.

Proserpina is shrouded in black, and her eyes are not green - but yellowish, like dead leaves. She talks - and tells Hazel that the Doors of Death are in the bottom of the Necromanteion - her powers over metal energy would guide her - and will be guarded by Pasiphae, vengeful of Pluto - and, by default, Perseus - for the lack of punishment for Minos.

Her husband is a silent presence by her side. He is not in mourning... probably. It's difficult to tell, as he is always in black. But his eyes hold a weight easy for Hazel to understand - he just lost a son to the abyss. No matter that Perseus might be alive - he wouldn't get back whole and safe.

Proserpina ends her dream by telling her to wake up Piper - the goddess is putting all her strength to send a vision of Perseus to Katoptris - they need one much more than her, seeing that they are able to interfere.

What Piper sees don't tell them a lot - Perseus seems mostly okay, with some sort of companion that Nico says it might be Iapetus, a brand new scar over his face and a bad limp.

It's the last they'll see of him until their eventual meeting face to face, but it gives them hope.

Annabeth herself has a dream - a dream that the Romans give the statue to the greeks. She sends an iris message to Rachel - so she can meet personally with Reyna.

Reyna, on the other side of the world, mounts her pegasus, Scipio, and leaves. Not only her co-praetor is in freaking Tartarus, but they are on the verge of two simultaneous wars. They need peace.

As soon as she is out of the roman range, however, she sends an iris message to Jason - telling him to go to their hero's place of rest - she had a vision from Mars. That she will meet them in Greece. Jason tells Leo to set course for Split, in Croatia. There's a roman scepter there.

Of all of them, the most capacitated for this mission are Frank and Jason, who are both educated Romans, and Nico, who can fly - a very good power to have in unstable ruins.

They're confronted by Favonious, who takes them to his master, Cupid, in Dalmatia. Nothing good can come of talking to the personification of love - such an old concept that the god has been reborn twice.

"Well, well, well"

"What do we have here?"

Jason falls onto the ground - "You think you found true love, haven't you? But alas, I was where you last expected me" - and he hates love, for that single moment.

"I shall give you what you want, Romans, if each of you is able to tell me - who do you love the most?"

Nico trembles - guilt is a difficult pill to swallow - and Frank visibly wants to bolt out of there.

"Oh, are you afraid? But there's no hiding in the face of true love"

Jason - always the brave one - gives a look at Frank. His friend never met the greeks. He might hate Jason after this.

But they need this scepter.

"Perseus Jackson"

Two heads whips in his direction - one unbelievingly, and the other distressed.

"Ah, love crafted in dreams - the perfect mix between me and my wife. Tell me, Jason Grace, was it bad when he looked upon you and saw naught but a myth?"

A laugh creeps upon Jason's spine, and he turns around. His blade hits something hard, and he is on the floor again.

"Such luck, to be able to even graze love. Perhaps yours is the purest of all - not yet tainted by failures and mistakes. On that note, why don't you go next, Nico di Angelo?"

Nico shivers - he... they have no time for that. That is unnecessary drama - to cause unnecessary problems.

A memory rushes to the front of Jason's mind - that quick chat with Reyna in Nova Roma. "The blond girl, Di Angelo"

Nico loves Perseus. It rushes to Jason now - the way that the younger boy stared adoringly at the son of Hades. The drunkness of his lovesick gaze. The despair when Perseus fell.

"Tell them Nico di Angelo" Cupid prompts "Tell them all about your guilt, your mistakes, the way you let him down, again and again, and again."

Nico floats a little off the ground. It's years of pain and sorrow that won't bring Perseus back.

"Will you fly off yet again, in the face of rivalry? Will you be my next servant - just like Favonious, consumed by jealousy, Nico di Angelo?"

Jason sees the memories. Nico screaming at Perseus. Grover reluctantly telling him about their adventures. The way he betrayed Percy - and a dozen more scenes he never saw from Nico's perspective, only Percy's, that made him unable to speak.

"It's okay Nico... I.... I get it."

It's painful to utter these words - it's almost like he is giving up Perseus. But they have a war to get through - and then, when the other demigod is back, they can figure this out.

"P-Perseus Jackson"

And then it's Frank's turn. But Frank is as pale as a ghost - he seems to be close to vomiting.

"It's a costly thing isn't it, looking at the true face of love. Now it's the turn of the brave son of Mars. Will you tell your friends easily, or shall you be a coward like the son of Zeus?"

Frank doesn't talk. Jason doesn't understand why - it's Hazel, isn't it? Is it because of Nico? He mentions talking to the son of Zeus, but Di Angelo doesn't look at him - the Cupid knew very well how to play his game.

"Come on. Tell them - tell them of whom you think before you sleep and who dominates your first thoughts every morning."

"You don't scare me"

"Oh, I scare you very, very much. Face me. Be honest."

"H-Hazel. Levesque."

"That's just half my question, little half-blood. If you want to lead the roman legions, you must answer it fully."

"I love H-Hazel. She is the one I think before I sleep and when I wake up."

"Still hiding. You're not strong enough, Frank Zhang."

Frank tries to charge at the wind, but it just mocks him. It's weird seeing Frank crying - it looks like the world is crumbling at his feet.

Jason, yet again, doesn't understand. Nico is also confused - he looks between the Romans as if he never saw any of them before. But then it dawns on the son of Zeus.

"Not only my sister. That's why you keep gazing at them, isn't it?"

All the fighting and denial leave Frank at once. His sword clangs in the ground.

"I love both Hazel and Leo. Together." He spits out, still trembling. "That's the truth. Are you happy now?"

"I wouldn't say Love always makes you happy. It can make you incredibly sad, sometimes. But you have faced it now. It's the only true way to conquer me."

Cupid appears - in a flash of white wings. It might be the god Jason hates the most - his eyes seem to penetrate his very soul. There's a scepter in his hand.

"Only a true child of Mars Ultor can yield it. It's your destiny, Frank Zhang."

Then he promptly disappears. The demigods look at each other - there's a flurry of emotions deep inside their chests. Frank looked at both of them, waiting for an attack, or for them to start fighting.

"No one has to know" He starts "I'm s-so-..."

He doesn't end. There are copious tears rolling through his face - his cheeks are a deep shade of red. A sob escapes his throat.

"P-please, p-pleased-don't t-te-tell anyone." Frank sobs, and it's such a jarring sight that both Nico and Jason rally to reassure him, leaving their own issues aside.

"There's nothing wrong with loving two people at once. No one will have a problem with it, Frank - fuck, this isn't Nova Roma. Most of us are greek."

"Hazel would hate me though. This is unnatural- I- I can't."

"You don't know that. Hazel loves you, Frank"

But the son of Mars just keeps crying until they both promise not to tell another soul what they saw. It's enough for the weird atmosphere to return.

Midway in the trek back to the ship - a six-hour walk - Nico is too riled up to safely fly with two people and none of them being too fond of air right now - Frank summons enough power to ask the question.

"So... uh... hm... Perseus?... like, uh, I can see the appeal-... but... both?... forget I asked, just....uh oh, sorry."

Jason and Nico pointedly avoid looking at each other. It's very bizarre - Jason knows a lot about Perseus, but now he knows Perseus also from Nico's perspective - and this is all messy.

They go back to the ship, relay to Annabeth that they got the scepter, and immediately go back to their cabins - to cry, to scream, to think.

It's been a day and a half - and they're still eleven hours off Epirus. Leo is pissed - because not only their three heavy-hitters are pissed at something and won't communicate, and they're of course.

Emerging from the infirmary for something other than to eat and mend people is finally Will - at least. He takes patrol in place of Nico - the boy quietly mumbled at his friend that they had a run-in with Cupid. Will can imagine how that went.

He doesn't have a clue about Frank - but Jason and Nico? They have the same long-lasting crush on Perseus - everyone on board knows that. Except, apparently, for each other. And Perseus - because his mentor/kind of brother/bother figure is a dumbass.

When they're passing through the coast of Albany, they're attacked by Khione - who is still very pissed her ex-lover's son doesn't want to spend eternity frozen with her. Leo ends up being sent away - for the distress of both Hazel and Frank and the anger of his best friends, Piper and Jason.

Piper ends up stabbing Khione - while Frank transforms into the giant dragon and burns her - making her unable to freeze them. Eventually, she runs away.

Leo, however, wakes up on an island. There's a sad girl at his side - she is using a modern blue dress, and there's a crown of black flowers upon her head.

"You were not the one I was expecting."

The son of Hephaestus wants to scream. Well, he didn't want to be whatever here is either! But her face is so sad - her gaze down to her bare feet. She seemed to be crying. He settles for asking who is her.

"I... I am sorry. My name is Calypso. This is Ogygia."

It startles him. Mainly because he has heard this name before around camp - wasn't she supposed to be freed?

"What happened to you?"

The immortal girl relays her tale - how she got freed for a year, and then the war started. The gods - Zeus - didn't trust her not to turn against them. So they locked her up - she was not the only one. Leto, Themis, Rhea - good titans or their offspring. Locked away.

She, after a year of freedom that Perseus got her, was back into her old shackles. Calypso is waiting for him for months now - but she thinks he forgot her.

So Leo tells her what happened - the bits he knows anyway. Juno/Hera, Nova Roma, the mission. Calypso seems calmer. They stay together for a while - friends it seems.

Calypso tells him about her year - about how she wanted to explore the world. She tells him she wanted to join Artemis' hunt - but, courtesy of Odysseys, she is no maiden.

He tells her about Hazel and Frank, Perseus, and the love hexagons he doesn't even know he is in - omitting the part that he is now in Tartarus. They talk about Festus - Calypso tells him about how his father is good to hear - how he came to visit, sometimes.

A week passes, maybe a week and a half. Leo vows to take Calypso off the island once the war ends, and she believes - once, a hero as brave as Leo made her the same promise, and stuck with it through the end.

In Cancun, Africa, Jason and Nico are having daily audiences with Auster, the Roman god of the south wind, in connection with the Seven being able to proceed on their way to Epirus - seeing that their ship is all broken and they have no Leo.

Auster is indolent and seems increasingly disinclined to cooperate with Jason and Nico: he dislikes the son of Zeus, and the wind never had a good relationship with the sea. Annabeth also tries her hand at it - but it's rebuffed at every turn. Piper is prohibited from entering the palace because of her magic voice.

Jason and Nico - even though they aren't speaking to each other - have for a long time admitted they don't fit completely at either camp. Jason is still too militar for CHB. Nico is too old for CHB. Both are too free with their personal lives for Nova Roma.

Auster agrees to meet with them and tells them to commit to one side - greek or roman. They deny it - they're both. The gods are both, they have been thrust in a war of both sides, they commune with gods on both aspects and they ask them to run errands for both pantheons. They have the right to be both.

Auster is not happy with this - mainly because he believes they should keep the sides separated. But it's the first time Nico and Jason agree on something - and they fight together for it. No god has the right to define those petty things when the demigods are fighting their war.

Auster merges with his greek counterpart Notus - an amalgamation of both his carefree and his militar side - and sends The Seven on their way when coerced by the threat of a hurricane and a typhoon.

He sends them to Valletta, Malta, where they find the Argo II fully repaired and in the harbor. In the port, on a small cafe, there's Leo - sitting and raging internally against the gods, who once again, fucked up something.

They trade stories, and Leo just rages more. He isn't sure how Perseus didn't ally himself with Kronos in the first war if that was the bullshit he had to deal with every day.

First Khione, then Zeus locking Calypso up, then this Notus guy - they are a week and a half late. Is Perseus still alive after nineteen days in the Pit? Is he sane? Did he tried to get out - and they weren't there?

It's with a shocking gasp from Annabeth that they realize that Perseus's birthday is in three days. They have been traveling together for thirty-seven days now - and they have to get Perseus out of Tartarus before the 18th, at least. Is the minimum.

It takes them a day to get to Epirus. There are enough monsters in their way to start a menagerie - Gaea is actively trying to stall them, so there must be a reason. Perseus might be alive.

Arriving at the Necromanteion, which they learn is just a very fancy name for catacombs, Hazel, Frank, Leo, Annabeth, Will, and Piper descend into the ruins, leaving Nico and Jason - who are both completely useless under the earth - behind with Malcolm - who, since Arachne, is pretty much claustrophobic.

They eat the barley cakes to protect themselves against the toxic potion they must drink in order to enter the temple. It's difficult to swallow poison - it burns as it goes down.

The mist tries to confuse them at every turn - Hazel diverts it. Her power over metal energy guides them - she can feel the basis of the building, way down where they are.

Katoptris burns in Piper's hand. It shows her Perseus' face - he looks cadaveric, shrouded in death. Sometimes he flickers, like a ghost - but he is alive, and heading to the Doors just like they are.

It's enough to spur them forward. Perseus is doing the same journey - from a much difficult side. They will meet in the middle.

Earthquakes strike the caverns, making part of the floor collapse. In a side, Piper and Will, surrounded by monsters in all sides. In the other, Frank, Leo, Hazel and Annabeth. The son of Mars doesn't think twice - the scepter.

He uses the Scepter of Diocletian to summon ghostly Roman soldiers, and as a Legatus Legionis, he does have the power to command all of them. It would be more controlled if he was Praetor, but the actual Praetor is Perseus, and so, in his absence, Frank will have to do.

The tunnel collapses. Hazel. Leo. They might be dead - but Frank can't panic right now. They are alive. They will protect each other, they have Annabeth Chase with them. Hazel controls the mist - everything will be just fine.

Anger grew in his chest. Those are his friends, his... his loved ones. This freaking ruin don't get to kill them before Frank summons enough courage to submit himself to the ridiculousness of telling them.

Hazel wants to cry - they left Frank behind. He might be dead - they might be all dead. Leo isn't much better. For all that Zhang seems to hate him, his infatuation with the Canadian never disappeared.

Annabeth however, is practical. She tells them Frank will be fine - the guy can transform into a dragon. Or a chimera. Probably a poisonous one, after the stunt in Venice. He has an army - it's okay.

Pasiphae is a bitch. Leo hates the woman - she reminds him of Aunt Rosa. Or Juno. Or Lady Muddy herself. He and Annabeth let Hazel do the majority of the talking - but both of them bristle as the Doors shake.

An unauthorized presence. Perseus actually did it - they have twelve minutes, in accord to Annabeth - who Leo knows better than to doubt - to open the Doors. Or he is dead, lost forever.

"It's a pity Gaea needs a son of the Earth and a daughter of the Sea... But none of you are children of the Underworld or the ocean, are you? Not even the acolyte of Trivia."

Everything indicates that she'll open the door herself - but Annabeth can't risk she whisking Perseus away to Gaea before they can reach him. So she sneaks past with her cap while they fight.

Pasiphae goes down to Hazel's illusions. Annabeth opens the Doors, before cutting the chains as Hazel and Leo distract Clytius. Perseus stumbles out, a giant tiger in his heels.

Leo didn't think he would ever see a harsher picture. The tall boy was still muscular - but gaunt as if he hadn't eaten since the fall. There were scars everywhere.

He couldn't look more - Clytius is threatening Perseus, but both Annabeth and the tiger stay in his way. Trivia appears - but they aren't truly winning until Piper, Will, and Frank are able to reach them through Hazel's magic.

Will goes immediately to Perseus' side - there's panic in his eyes. Leo can't see much this far - he hopes the son of Hades isn't dead. Piper and Frank fight alongside them. Annabeth is still hovering protectively over her best friend's prone body.

There's not much need for help - between Hazel and Trivia, the bulk of Clytius powers are unusable. The shared power of Piper (love is never where you expect it), Frank (and his undead soldiers), a very angry Annabeth, and Leo is just overkill.

They win. Will is feeding Perseus ambrosia - there's something really wrong because there are tear tracks in the blonde's face. Leo comes closer - their friends follow.

Perseus is destroyed. He looks like he has been through hell - there's a scar crossing his face and his eyes are sunken in. But that's not where it stops.

Leo's gaze goes down, to the ragged clothes that are barely recognizable - the sweatpants he was convinced to wear to go underground, the once-green sweater - and sees what is missing.

Where Perseus' leg once was, there's a metal one. The boy is curled in the fetal position - his metal leg sticks out like a sore thumb, and it looks like he might cry if he wasn't so dehydrated. The tiger nudges its head against the boy's leg and growls at them, but it doesn't attack.

"I... I can't touch him. I touched him and he started panicking... I... We have to take him back to the ship. He is stable, but..."

Frank picks up Perseus in a bride-carry - a month ago, he wouldn't be able to do it. But now, he is stronger - and Perseus must weight ninety pounds wet.

The tiger follows - when they cross to the daylight, they can see it's not a normal tiger. Annabeth - with a distraught look in her face - tells them it's a skeleton tiger. Probably a saber-tooth.

They go back on board - Piper goes up to call Nico, so he can fly Perseus into the ship. He does, but the expression in his face is so crushing Leo almost wishes they had delayed it by destroying property and landing the ship on the street.

The mood of the ship is yet again somber. No one wants to leave the infirmary - but Will forces them to rotate, so as to not overwhelm Perseus. Hypocrite - he is living in there.

Leo, Malcolm, and Piper - the least close to Percy, even though they are friends - let the others take the bulk of the shifts. Annabeth, Nico, and Jason almost get into blows about it - she wins on the fact that she knows Perseus longer.

It's difficult to IM both Rachel - who is a minute away from depression since he fell - and Lady Persephone. It's even harder to tell Sally - they leave the task to Annabeth.

They harbor for two days, waiting for Reyna. She appears from the sky during dinnertime - her horse has to be euthanized almost immediately after a run with the spirit mountains.

They talk - and end up deciding that she will take the statue back to Camp with Malcolm, the most resourceful out of them. Percy would be the logical solution - taking him out of Gaea's reach - but the son of Hades would probably be unable to shadow travel so soon.

While this happens, the others will set course to Athens - to stop Gaea and destroy the Giants. For now, they eat.

Midway through their meal, Will comes into the board - everyone knows what it means. Perseus is awake - on his birthday to boot. They take their food to the infirmary - to see the boy looking at the ceiling.

He gives them a faint smile, but no one misses the way he curls into himself any time there's someone a little too close. Perseus relays his tale - it's heavily edited, Annabeth can tell.

But he tells them about the leg - but not how he lost it - about the tiger - the name is Small Bob, but he doesn't talk about Bob - and about the firewater - but not how he got the injuries.

Small Bob never leaves Perseus's side. The demigod insists that he wants to go outside - he ate enough ambrosia and drank enough nectar that even some of his scars are gone. Not the one in his face though. Will let him go - but Annabeth thinks that he just asked out of courtesy.

He doesn't have green eyes anymore - they darkened to a point they can't distinguish his pupil. They observe as he sits calmly in the deck, metal leg sticking out, and strokes the head of the tiger, who is acting more or less like a giant house cat.

None of them miss the tracks of tears across his face, or the look he gives the night sky - it's bittersweet.

"Bob says hello"

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tuancore · 4 years

Text

Lost You (Part 13) :

Starring- Jinyoung x reader

Genre- Heavy angst, self harm.

Summary- It's your choices and actions which made you miserable.

Gladly Jackson brought his car otherwise rest of them would have been walking to their houses right now, "Jackson....we are sorry for not believing in you........we genuinely are" Mark sighed, staring at Jackson as he drove. Shaking his head lightly with a small smile, Jackson spoke, "Hyung it's okay, everything was really pointing out at me and we purposely made it look like I'm behind all of this...right Yugyeomie".

"Yeps....." Yugyeom chuckled, "You knew everything from the start!?" Mark asked, his tone laced with shock. Seeing Mark's and JB's eyes widened like some fungus Jackson and Yugyeom chuckled.

"Actually Jackson hyung was the one who figured out Youngjae hyung's handwriting on that card, from there all three of us decided to portray as Jackson hyung is the one behind all of this so Youngjae hyung wouldn't doubt us" Yugyeom explained with a slight grin, "What about Jackson meeting up with Jisoo?" JB inquired hastily.

"Oh that" Jackson chorused aloud, "The night when you guys kicked me out, Youngjae messaged me showing his concern, so just to test him further I told him that I'll be sweating on gym—".

"And just like that I proposed the idea to follow Jisoo, we didn't really think that he'll get on proving Jackson hyung as the culprit but he did by sending Jisoo there" Yugyeom added as a matter of fact.

"What about the other girl that Jackson met at the café?"

"The girl was Minyoung..." Yugyeom laughed like crazy, poking Jackson's shoulder, "Shut up Brownie" Jackson glared at the younger, making the others smile in return.

"What do you guys think will she forgive Jinyoung?" JB asked worriedly, exchanging looks with Jackson, Yugyeom replied sternly, "The damage is already done, the way he hurt Noona is no joke and to be very honest I don't want Noona to forgive him".

_____________

"I'M SORRY ANGEL...... I'M SO SO SO SORRY......"

Upon hearing his voice, your tears stopped spilling out all of a sudden, but your heart picked up the pace making it hard to breathe, a knot forming in your throat. Brushing your locks back angrily, you walked towards the door but didn't open it, you didn't want to and you won't.

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!" You growled vehemently standing right in front of your door, "NOW YOU THINK THAT A SLUT CAN BE AN ANGEL!".

Jinyoung sobbed harder, his painful whimpers loud enough for you to hear, of course you didn't ignore his whimpers and you hated yourself for still caring for him, you hated the fact how much you always have loved him and how much you still did, that the mere thought of him crying made your insides churn in pain, but unfortunately he didn't feel the same, back then when you cried like anything on your knees he didn't dare to spare you even a drop of mercy and it hurt you, bad, real bad.

"Please don't say that.....please" He croaked out, plopping down on the floor, his back pressed against the door. Trying to gulp down some of your pain, you spat, "Why not? Wasn't it you......who called.....me..... a.....slut.....". At this point all he wanted was the ground to swallow him whole, he cursed at himself for calling you such a terrible thing. "I'm sorry.... I promise I didn't.......mean it......" He clasped his hands hoping for you to accept his apology, "Please....Forgive Me, please give me one more chance.....".

"One more chance? Huh? For what? To not to trust me again? To not to love me enough to hear me out? To break me into pieces all over again?!" Your each word pushing the dagger of hurt and guilt deeper into his heart, "No, I won't do it ever again, I won't. I was an asshole for not trusting you, for not letting you explain but I'll never repeat the same mistake ever again, I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY!".

His throaty voice was now starting to get to you, your heart stung at his sobs and apologies. But the amount of scars and stabs he has given you was much severe than his and he has to know what you went through in these past two months without him. As difficult it was to voice out your sad times in front of him, you encouraged yourself to do it.

"I wish everything could be placed back as it was before with a single sorry" You chuckled dryly, no humour in it, feeling your legs wobbly you slid down the door with your back pressed against the door same as him. Jinyoung hugged his knees to his chest, his head ducked down, with tears soaking the fabric of his knee area.

"Jinyoung-shi...." You called out with a dry laugh unable to believe that you'll ever use this on him, his breath hitching at your words. You once told him, that you don't like calling people by their first name but always used the prefix 'shi' for the one' you didn't know well or you were awkward with, even if they are younger than you.

"How funny, the one I loved is the one who became unknown to me......anyways Jinyoung-shi I hope you have time in hand, and if you don't mind hearing tales".

"Two months ago, when you started staying at office during nights with the same excuse again and again, that you've to finish you paperworks. I didn't complaint even once. Did I?....." You asked softly, all he could come up with was a hum.

"You know why?..... because I trusted you, because I loved you......I thought you were saying the truth but in reality......you were warming up some other girl's bed, while I craved for your presence every now and then......hoped with everyday to see your smiling face and just recoil in your arms which I proudly called home. Instead what I failed to notice was, you already kicked me out replacing me with someone else....." You choked on your tears which you held in with all your might, how can you not cry. Just how?

"BamBam and Lisa told me about you cheating on me with your own secretary, but I yelled at them, for them to be wrong that they mistook you as someone else. You were my pride Jinyoung.....You were my everything. Do you have any idea......how much I loved you......do you?....." Your vision blurred with tears streaming heavily down your face and neck, "That's not what I am hurt about...I'm hurt because you never loved me the way I did. It wasn't the love that I wanted to keep for my entire life, to cherish it with my life. You proved me so wrong so—" Unable to speak further you sobbed hard, the whole place echoed with your's and his' cries.

"I know baby, please let me in again, let me try to fix the things again.....give me one last chance. It doesn't matter how much I beg for you to forgive me, not a thing will change but I promise to love you the way you want, the way you always deserved......be mine again......for all the times we were together, please" He coughed out painfully.

Shaking your head vigorously, you replied hastily, "I was ready to forgive you back then even when you cheated on me because I didn't want our child.......oh sorry, My child" You purposely empathized on 'My'. "To grow up without a father, I was ready to reconcile and try out things anew.....then again,you called my child a filth.........you accused me of sleeping with different men out there, tell me Jinyoung. Did you ever hold any respect for me? Was I that low of a woman? And because of you only. I lost my only hope of living, my child".

"No. You never were, you can never be! I was the selfish one, I'm sorry for hurting our child, for being the reason for our child t—".

"MY CHILD!" You interrupted him with an inhumane growl, you won't let this man call your child his child anymore, after he openly denied that it was his child. Neither can you ever forget that he is the one to take away your child from you, "My child! It was only my child! Do you fucking hear me Park Jinyoung? It was my child.....which you took away from me. You are the reason my baby left me! You hurt my child by saying it wasn't yours!!!".

"I'm sorry....I'm sorry" Jinyoung continued to chant his apologies, sobbing and sniffing, as much as it was hurting him hearing your venomous words he had to endure everything. After all his pain stood nowhere compared to yours. He felt like the worst person alive, how could he go around cheating on you so freely without thinking about your feelings one? How could he say that you slept with men behind him?

"Your sorry won't bring my child back" You smiled remembering the time when you found out that you were carrying a mini you and Jinyoung, "You know how ecstatic I was to find out that I was pregnant that finally you were going to be a father, we were going to be parents, it was your dream to have kids, I couldn't wait to break the news to you while you were busy fucking Jisoo, I waited for you to let you know face-to-face but you never came home, all that came to me was the news of you cheating on me, then also I believed in you so blindly, I'm a fucking bitch to be so blinded by your lies! I cried every night to sleep, engulfed in coldness........talking to our child for everything to be alright, and this is where my hope led me to.......".

"I know I broke you so bad, but let me be the one to fix you again, I knew I was hurting you but I—"

Cutting him in the midway, you laughed, "You knew what you were doing will hurt me, but somehow it didn't stop you from doing what you did! Gosh! Jinyoung I seriously can't believe I fell for a guy like you! I loved a man like you for these past five years like crazy! For what? Just to not be loved the same way? Only to get betrayed at the end!".

"I don't love Jisoo! Nothing was about her! It was always you, it's still you and it always will be! You are it for me baby! Trust me!" He yelled aloud showing his desperation for you, determined to not to let you go, "I always loved you! I still love you! And I always will, you're the only woman I'll ever love!".

"Stop! Stop! Just stop! I don't want to hear your lies anymore! If you really loved me that much then didn't your love scream to trust me! Didn't suffocate you before you found your way in between her legs! " You screamed back, grabbing your scalp harshly, kicking the vase behind the door.

"I'll not ask you to forgive me anymore, but please give me a last chance to prove that I can be your old Nyoungie again! I will never hurt you again! I love you and forever will! " He stammered pressing his head onto the door, hearing your sniffs.

"I don't want to hear that you love me, you made me hate Love! You took everything from me, because of you I've turned into a person I don't even recognise" You shouted cupping your face messily wiping your fresh tears, "Why did you do this to me? Why ? Just why? Tell me what about me made you not trust me enough? What was I even lacking?!"

"You never lacked anything, you were more than enough for me baby".

"THEN WHY YOUR ACTIONS DIDN'T MATCH WITH YOUR WORDS WHY?!!! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE LIKE YOU DID FOR THESE TWO MONTHS!"

"PLEASE DON'T SAY THAT, I can't live without you angel...." He pleaded softly knocking on the door, "Then move on, you decided to step on our love, you drained all trust and love out of me in the most brutal way possible, there's no love left in me.........anyways it won't be difficult for you to move on, how confidently you said that you love Jisoo now and that I'm trying to break you both off because I can't see you happy for once, now I'm only telling you to go back to her".

"Don't come to me now Jinyoung, Don't.....just go where your happiness resides..." Your throat burning with all the sobbing.

"I never loved her, I never will!—".

"Didn't you notice how much it hurt me when you believed her that I tried to kill her! That my tears were a lie, my whole self was a lie! I begged you Jinyoung, I fucking begged you on my knees but that was also not enough, you went so far as to slap me! It was the absolute last straw" You explained him your feelings in the most calm way possible, "The person I fell in love was the most caring out there, he couldn't see a drop of tear in my eyes, he vowed to be the best partner ever. Instead the Jinyoung I saw at Jisoo's house was.....just someone else......so animalistic......so carnal, you raised your hand on me Jinyoung and for what? Telling you the truth!! I don't need you in my life".

Jinyoung stared at his right palm with which he slapped you, he was so ashamed of himself for hitting you, You are right, he wasn't the same Jinyoung you fell in love with.

"Why? Why did you even come into my life? I was so well without you! You.....You are not my Jinyoung......my Nyoungie couldn't even think about hurting me, but you fucking killed me, it's only my body left, my soul has already died".

"I AM A FUCKING MONSTER FOR HITTING YOU! I'M A FUCKING ASSHOLE, HOW COULD I DO THIS? YOU'RE RIGHT BABY, DON'T FORGIVE ME! I ABSOLUTELY DESERVE THIS! FOR BEING THE WORST FIANCÉ EVER! FOR BEING THE WORST FATHER EVER!" He yelled aloud in a carnal tone, because he wasn't irritated by you but was angry at himself, for ruining his life with his own hands, wiping his tears harshly.

"Angel.....all I want you to know is I'm genuinely sorry for everything and ashamed of my whole existence, I will no longer budge you or show you my terrible face, I'll leave you like you want, but I'll always love you remember that....." His demeanor changing completely as he whispered softly, loud enough for you to hear from another side of the door, standing up on his feet to leave, Hot tears streamed down your face. He is leaving, isn't this what you wanted, to not to be his anymore. Then why were you crying for him.

Listening to his words, something lit up inside your chest, your heart beating erratically all over again, you went completely pale, hands and legs feeling as heavy as a metal, you didn't want to forgive him, for what he has done to you and your child. Then again, why was his words hurting you all over again, it felt all of your bones were breaking at the same time and you just couldn't bare it any longer. He hurt you so much but why did you still want to hold onto him.

All your heart chorused was his name on an infinite loop, Park Jinyoung. He is it for you, there's no doubt in that, from your head to toe, from your heart to soul, you were bounded to this man and atleast not in this lifetime you will be able to separate from him.

You don't know what was from his side, but from your side it was an unconditional love, a love that bloomed in a millennium.

Your eyes landed on one of the shards of the vase which you kicked before, picking it up you did what you never thought you ever would.

Jinyoung snapped his head at the sound of the door unlocking, you stumbled your way in front of him before hugging him tightly leaving no space for air. He hugged you back with the same intensity kissing the side of your head.

"Jinyoung I want to hate you but I don't know why my love for you is stronger than that....." You whispered into his chest, "I love you too baby", he replied in a heartbeat, peppering your head with chaste kisses.

"I love you but I can't bare to be in love with you anymore, I can't see you walking away from me, leaving me, I can't live without you, but I also don't want to live with you......I'm sorry that I couldn't find an easier way to end my misery...." You murmured with a strangled breath, before darkness swallowed you a whole, your body fell limp in his arms. He panicked at your unconscious form, shaking you lightly he tried to wake you up, but upon not getting any reaction. He called your name impatiently multiple times, lightly patting your cheeks, and that's when his gaze went to your hand, his blood ran cold, his heart almost stopping, seeing blood spurting out from your wrist, dripping down on the floor.

Part 12 // Part 13 // Part 14

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#got7 imagines #got7 jinyoung #got7 x reader #jinyoung imagines #got7 angst #got7 bambam #got7 jackson #got7 jaebeom #got7 mark #got7 youngjae #got7 yugyeom #jinyoung angst #jinyoung au

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ma-gic-gay · 4 years

Note

Leaving a former assassin turned mob boss alone with his thoughts and anger about his... Whatever him and Carly are, since that seems to change every ten minutes going through what she went through, is a stupid idea. Especially for two hours.

It's either that or confront the fact they've kissed and had sex in the same 24 hours.

Not exactly the most friendly things to do.

This is exactly what he's not supposed to be thinking about, yet it's what he's thinking about while he's sitting in a chair at the hospital.

Turns out that when he's not doing illegal things, he can actually have time to think and not freak out about the cops finding out what happened. Time to think about them and how he doubts they'll ever go back to normal. A one night stand is one thing, a kiss after you get kidnapped and raped is a completely other thing.

Go figure, the one person who he could willingly discuss this with is the same person who he can't right now.

Maybe talking about this with Sam would work?

Nope, scratch that. Even though she's moved on from their relationship, they're not that close of friends and really only hang out for their kids sake.

If this was a year ago, he'd say he should go to Sonny, since he can't go to Carly about it. But then again, if it was a year ago or if Sonny hadn't vanished, been presumed dead long enough for even Carly to believe it (which meant he, by extension, believed it finally as well), last night never would've happened. Not in a million-

Alright maybe it would've happened but he doubts it. After all, a year ago, he was with Sam and Carly was with Sonny.

Does this count as a betrayal, sleeping with her? Not like conceiving a child on his biological brother's grave with the woman who's the reason he's dead. Or knowing that your best friend is in love with someone but sleeping with her anyways out of horniness.

Maybe he's still a little bit mad about those things.

Or a lot bit mad.

Thinking of all the times Sonny's betrayed him is definitely not helping the fact that anger is just about the only emotion he's feeling right now. Notably, that comes with the exception of confused and that one's only because he's seriously confused about what the hell him and Carly are right now.

Just thinking about what she must be going through right now... It makes him so furious he could take someone out for even mentioning the word. Or something negative even in the slightest bit about her.

That last part might be a telltale sign he needs to do an evaluation of his feelings for her but after this. Probably should right now, but he doesn't want to.

Even the mention of what happened to her, which is spreading through the hospital like wildfire (whoever spread that information first is on his shit list and that is not a good place to be), makes his blood boil.

Cyrus did that to her, he decided to treat her like an object. Like she's some disposable thing, that after he had his fun with her she'll be killed to hurt his business competitor. And the fact that he'd managed to scare her, that he'd managed to do something so difficult he thought it would never happen again unless something happened to one of her kids or him. That part makes him want his head on a stick outside his front door.

And the only reason he did it is to hurt Jason, to make him feel hopeless and in despair and angry and hurt. The only reason she went through that is because of him. That's the worst part, for him, that he's responsible for her going through that, that it's his fault. Even though he knows that's not how it went down, that he's not responsible for Cyrus's actions or her kidnapping and rape, that's sure as hell what it feels like. It feels like everything's getting blurry, like the lines he had drawn in his life are bleeding into each other.

Keep her safe, that was always his number one rule. Even if it meant getting hurt himself (which it normally did), keeping her safe has always been his priority. It's why he tries, unsuccessfully, to shelter her from the mob.

When she needed him, really needed him, he couldn't do that for her. He wasn't there when she needed him the most, when she needed him to save her and get her out of that situation.

No matter how you frame it, what he's doing is beating himself up for something that he knows to be his fault. Maybe if he'd been there, sent someone else to deal with Florence and stayed at the house with her, he wouldn't be dealing with this right now. Maybe then, she wouldn't have been kidnapped and raped.

"Jason?" Britt asks him, noticing he's zoned out. "She's fine. Carly's not pregnant and we gave her a pill just in case to prevent against it. She doesn't have HIV or any other STD's, I ran a full test. As far as I can tell, her uterine health is great right now."

"Thanks, for the update," he thanks her, remembering where he is. "Can I, uh, can I go see her?"

"Yeah, the sedative wore off and she's been complaining and crying for a few minutes. She's in room 3115," she tells him, noting the relief and pain on his face. "You doing okay?"

"What matters right now is whether Carly's okay or not." Jason answers her quickly and his feet take him to the room she's in, somehow. He doesn't even know this hospital that well.

That's new.

"I woke up a few minutes ago and they told me they were looking for you, where were you?" Carly asks, aggravated.

"I was in the lobby," he tells her, wiping away her tears as they come. There's a look of relief on her face through everything, which doesn't surprise him in the slightest.

"Why didn't they let you in before the sedative wore off? I thought I'd been taken again, I was yelling for you," the blonde complains.

"Apparently I'm a hard guy to find."

"You have seven black shirts, seven pairs of blue jeans which you haven't replaced since the 90s, and a leather jacket. That's pretty much all you ever wear. I can't remember the last time you wore a suit. Or a shirt with any color in it at all. How hard could it be to find you?"

"You're just saying that because you always know where I am. It's a sixth sense of yours."

"True. Maybe it's time to spice up your wardrobe with some colorful shirts. We could start with blue and then ease into colors like yellow or white eventually," she suggests cheerfully.

"Carly," he warns. "I like my clothes."

"I know you do, but you need more variety in your life, Jason," Carly argues.

"You keep life interesting enough, trust me," he assures her. "I'm sorry for what happened to you tonight, you know that, right? It's my fault, if I'd gotten there sooner or I hadn't left you alone, this never would've happened."

"No, it's not. Cyrus would've gotten me another way, or he might've gone and snatched one of your kids. Danny, Scout, Jake, they don't deserve that. Neither did I, but if that happened to one of your kids? You wouldn't be able to live with yourself and he could've killed them easier. At least with me, I'm alive. Severely traumatized, but alive," Carly says, hugging him gently as to not hurt herself.

"Yeah but if I'd been there to protect you-"

"Then he would've gotten to you another way or waited until you went to sleep or went back to your dull apartment where the only piece of decor is a moss bowl. I'm a target, alright? We've known this for years, and what happened to me is not your fault. It's as much my fault as it is yours. No one deserves what he did to me, not even that dirt bag himself, and you cannot blame yourself."

"He did this to you as a way to hurt me!"

"And if Sonny were still around it would've been as a way to hurt Sonny. He hates me, alright? Cyrus hates me so much he wanted to hurt me, just as bad as he wanted to hurt you. It's not your fault that he's a monster." She attempts to help him see that it's not his fault, but he doesn't.

"The only reason you know about this business is me. Practically every bad thing you've gone through, Carly, is because of me by extension," he tells her, feeling a tear slip out of his eyes.

"You didn't force me to be a part of the business, Jason. Hell, it was your worst nightmare. I made that choice for myself, to marry Sonny and, when he died, helping you run his territory. I knew the risks and I did it for me, for you, for my family."

"For me?" Jason asks, confused. "How do I factor in?"

"How do you factor in? You're my family and you needed help. Of course I was going to help you! Even when you tried to talk me out of it," the blonde continues, smiling widely.

"That help could've come with Max or Milo or someone else."

"And there's a reason it came in the shape of me. You trust me more than them, even with this business," she smiles.

To be continued when school ends because FUCK IT'S BACK NO

@ryleighjosephine

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smileyoongle · 5 years

Text

Come Back Home (A Kim Taehyung Mafia AU) // Part Three

Too much angst going on.... let's give you guys a little hope, shall we?

Summary: You were dead. Or at least that's what Kim Taehyung thought. But love never dies. A myth, yes. And maybe that's why when he finds out that you are alive, he may have already lost you.

Pairing: Mafia!Taehyung×Reader

"Where is she?!"

A female voice sounded through Taehyung's house, making him turn his head towards the source.

Yoona.

"We need you to sit first." Jin said, standing in front of her and preventing her from walking further into the house. She glared at him, placing her hands on her hips.

"You really think I'm gonna listen to any-"

"He. Said. Sit. Down." Taehyung clenched his jaw, glaring at her with much more intensity. His voice made her shiver as she hesitantly sat on the black couch in the huge living room. Taehyung smirked, enjoying the way she lost all her confidence in a minute.

With threatening steps, he himself sat in front of her, keeping his eyes fixed on her cowering figure. Yoona couldn't help but curse. She should have just brought her entire gang for back up. Just in case, Taehyung decided to kill her. But she was here for you. She was here for her best friend who she had lost months ago. If she needed to die for you, she would.

"I'm sure you already know that we found her." Yoongi said, leaning on the arm of one of the couches, his arms crossed across his chest. Yoona could sense the coldness that every single person in the room emitted. Nobody wanted her there.

"I hope you painfully killed that bastard." She said, feeling her blood boil on even thinking about Castillo. He deserved to burn in hell. Taehyung nodded with a smug look on his face. That expression was enough for Yoona to know that Castillo got the worst death possible.

"Now, the main reason why you're here." Hoseok said, glancing at Taehyung.

Taehyung sighed and closed his eyes, preparing himself for what he was about to say. He knew that Yoona was gonna enjoy this. She just wanted a reason to take you far from him.

"Castillo did too much damage. She….." he trailed off, feeling his chest tightening. He wished this wasn't true. He wished this was just a dream and he would wake up with you by his side.

Yoona leaned forward, raising her eyebrows as a sign for Taehyung to complete his sentence.

"...she lost her memories."

Yoona's breath hitched, her body shutting down as if someone had taken away her soul. The things that you must have gone through in order to lose your memories…..

She clenched her fists and stared at the floor, her eyes itching as tears formed in them. Suddenly, she was standing on her feet and rushing towards Taehyung. She gritted her teeth as she grabbed his collar and pulled him to stand up. Jungkook and Jin were already running to get her off him but Taehyung lifted his hand up to stop them.

He deserved this for letting you get hurt. He deserved much worse but this was pretty close. Letting a rival gang leader lift a hand on him? Pretty bad for him.

"It's all your fault!" Yoona screamed and slapped him. Not once. But twice. She grabbed his collar and shook him, screaming at him about how he didn't deserve you.

"You haven't loved anyone but yourself. You are selfish and heartless. I shouldn't have let her go with you. You don't love her. You never did!"

Taehyung's eyes shot up to her face as he gripped her hands tightly. That was the last straw. With anger lacing his eyes, he pushed her away, towering over her as she fell on the couch.

"Wrong. I haven't loved anyone as much as I love her. I always have and I always will. You don't get to come to my house and say shit to my face." He spat, glaring at her. His hands itched to choke her but he couldn't. He still needed her for you.

You stared at the scene unfolding in front of you, tears pricking your eyes. You already felt light headed and all this screaming was making it worse. You heard every single word since your best friend slapped the man who brought you to his house.

The one who wanted to hurt you.

You had also heard him. It was obvious that they were talking about you. But why? You didn't remember this man at all. So why did he keep saying he loved you?

"Yoona…" you whispered, not wanting to hear any more of this conversation. All heads in the room turned to you. Yoona's eyes widened as she ran towards you and hugged you. You slowly wrapped your arms around her as she cried into your shoulder. You placed your chin on her shoulder and let your eyes wander to him.

He was indeed a gorgeous man.

But he's bad. He wanted to hurt you.

He stared back at you with pain evident in his eyes. Did he really mean what he said? But that didn't matter. You didn't know him.

A part of you was screaming at you to run to him. It made you wonder if he really wanted to harm you. Because if he did then he would have already done something. Instead, he brought you to his house, got your wounds cleaned up and even respected your words when you asked him to go away. That didn't seem like a bad guy to you. You could see him clenching his fists, as if he was holding back.

"Are you okay?" Yoona pulled away and cupped your cheeks. You nodded and smiled softly before pouting.

"I wanna go home." You said, blinking rapidly to stop yourself from crying. Yoona chuckled and nodded before bringing you back into a hug. This time you buried your head in her neck, inhaling her scent. This was home to you.

"We'll go home. Wait for me in the room and I'll get you ready. Then we can leave." She said, making you nod as you backed away into the room. Your eyes met his as you closed the door, your heart picking up its pace. You frowned and placed a hand on your chest.

He's a bad guy.

Taehyung stood still, staring at the closed door, wishing for you to come back out and tell him that this is all a joke. And that you remembered him.

"You said she lost her memories. How did she know me?" Yoona asked, looking around at everyone. They all glanced at Taehyung before Jimin sighed, knowing that Taehyung wasn't gonna answer anything anymore.

"She lost all her memories related to... Taehyung. She remembers you so that's the only possible explanation." He explained, receiving a nod from Hoseok.

Just for a second, Yoona felt pity for Taehyung. It must be really painful to lose someone so quickly. But it disappeared just as it came, her mind displaying nothing but joy. If you really didn't remember Taehyung then she could do anything. She could make sure that you never remember him.

"I'll help you." She lied, watching in amusement as Taehyung's eyes lit up. She walked closer to him and gave him a look full of sympathy.

"She's my best friend. No matter how much I hate you, I can't take away the part of her that was happy. Unfortunately, it was with you." Yoona was surprised at how convincing she sounded. With a poker face, she left everyone to think about her words as she entered your room.

After a minute of silence, Jungkook spoke up.

"Do you seriously believe that?"

His eyes danced across the room, taking in everyone's face as he waited for a reply.

"Of course not. She thinks she's good at lying but she isn't. She couldn't even hide her satisfaction." Taehyung stated, moving to stand by the window. He was already tired and with every passing second, he could feel you slipping out of his fingers. This was the first time Kim Taehyung was gonna lose. And he was pretty sure that a lot of people would enjoy watching him break.

"We'll get through this, Tae. We all know she loves you. Someday she's gonna come back." Namjoon said, squeezing Taehyung's shoulder comfortingly. He was right. Taehyung knew that. Namjoon always managed to say the right things.

Taehyung leaned his head against the cool glass, closing his eyes and gathering himself. He had to say goodbye to you for a while. Just for a while.

Is that what you think?

He gritted his teeth and inhaled deeply, hating how a big part of him had already given up.

💔🖤💔🖤💔🖤

You held yoona's hand and followed her as she led you out of the room. You glanced down at the clothes you were wearing, still wondering how there was an entire closet full of women clothing and why Yoona had packed them all in a bag. You didn't know if they were your clothes but if they were….

How did they get here?

Your head hurt with the amount of questions you had. Everything was so suspicious and you were so lost.

You gulped on seeing seven men standing in the living room, all their eyes fixed on you as Yoona continued to drag you. You recognized one of them. He was the one who had treated your wounds. You hesitantly nodded at him with a broken smile. His aura was warm and you felt calm around him.

Hoseok.

That was his name. That's what he had told you.

You could see the sad smiles on everyone's faces and it seemed as though your heart hurt. But one thing was out of place. The man who was the target of most of your questions, wasn't looking at you. He was just staring out the window with his back facing you. Just as you reached the door of the big house, you stopped. Yoona frowned and looked at you as you glanced at your clenched fist.

Your mind was a mess. You didn't know if you should do this or not. With a shaky breath, you let go of yoona's hand and turned towards the men in the room. Surprisingly, you weren't intimidated by any of them. They all seemed nice to you.

Giving nervous looks around the room, you slowly made your way towards the window, your heart beating faster with every step you took. You could tell he wasn't in a good mood. The way his body was slumped against the window made you think that he was upset. You stopped right behind him, feeling more nervous as everyone continued to stare at you.

You bit your lip harshly, reaching your hand out to place it on his shoulder. Hesitantly, he turned around, his breath hitching as he clearly wasn't expecting you.

Your heart started pounding in your chest on seeing him up close. He was really beautiful. His eyes looked into yours with emotions that you couldn't decipher. Averting your gaze to the floor, you stretched your closed fist towards him, waiting for him to take it.

Taehyung frowned and placed his palm beneath your fist, watching as you slowly opened it. A folded piece of paper fell on his palm making him look up at you. Your hand had briefly touched his and your eyes widened momentarily. For some reason, your cheeks became really warm and your heart felt as if it was gonna jump out of your chest. With all the courage you could muster, you looked up at him one last time before turning around and rushing towards Yoona, a soft smile gracing your lips as she led you out of the house.

Taehyung wanted to dance around with joy. He wasn't ready to watch you leave, which is why he had decided to not pay attention to you when you came out of the room. He could feel eyes on his back but he assumed it was the members. There was no way you would look at him. You were scared of him. Out of everyone, you were scared of him. When a hand tapped his shoulder, he again assumed it was one of the members. But it wasn't.

It was you.

His heart was gonna leap out when you handed him the paper. This was the most exciting thing that had happened since he found you. He quickly unfolded the paper after you left, his eyes lightening up when he read what you wrote. And for the first time in a while, he had hope. He smiled as he read the words again and again. He was gonna make you love him again. No matter what it took.

"I do not know who you are or what happened but I'm guessing it has something to do with me. If you aren't the person who wanted to kill me, then...I hope we meet again!" -Y/N Y/L/N

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-XX

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