#i rely on the approval of others /silly

[applepixls]

can we talk about grians character development this season?

this time last year if he built a tree he would've asked for scar's help or asked him to consult on how to improve it. this time last year he wouldn't have even made farms in his base, he would've gone to the shopping district and if he needed to do redstone he would've asked for someones help/advice.

this season hes researching weird tree terms like pollarding and coppicing and da vincis rules about how trees should exist in proportion from trunk to branches. he's implementing scar's technique of using dirt scaffolding to plan out the shapes of organic builds and he's looking at his finished result and realizing it would look better and more realistic with 10% of the leaves gone. AND he's thinking about how it looks good from EVERY DIRECTION (normally he only cares about one side of builds, hence them all being unfinished and backless) and the perfect little bonus is that he's proud of it. it is so easy to look at your work and compare it to others' and think yours isn't good enough or just dislike your work from looking at it for too long. we're all conditioned to need approval from other people but to allow ourselves to take pride in our work is so!!!!! cracked skillset. theres a bit less evidence with the redstone but he still is finding tutorials for farms and adapting them to his needs and changing tick speeds so it works on laggy servers like hermitcraft and even if the sugarcane isn't a particularly original design it also isn't made following a tutorial meaning he figured it out all on his own!

while im sad our favourite codependent menace is getting a little less codependent (/hj, i mean this in a very silly way) i am so impressed by the amount of little changes its taken to make it to this sort of big noticeable change

[straitjacketzz]

Please make more "Chibifurs"

There's words like "sparklefur" and "emo dog" and "toon" to describe furry subtypes with certain art style and design elements, and we desperately need a word for little magical anime moe style critters like these. I propose the term chibifur

I'd say it's not the same as kemono because kemono isn't limited to cutesy chibi art styles with big sparkly eyes (ex: there's tons of anime style bara furry art labeled as kemono) though I would consider chibifur to be a Subtype of kemono and chibifur is more for unique/original/fantasy species anyway. It's also not just "drawing of any regular furry in a chibi art style" either. It's like.... character you'd see in a magical girl/ fantasy anime, and they look like that by default. Smaller bodies and stylized shapes, it relies both on certain character design tropes AND art style, not just one or the other. you know what i mean??? does this make sense to anyone else. I know a lot of people call these "mascots" but the only reason I don't use the term mascot is only cuz it's not limited to furry design and there's a lot of like, for example, american mascot costumes that don't fit this specific niche.

You don't need my "permission" or "approval" to call your oc a chibifur or whatever, like I said before this isn't owned by me, just be honest with urself about it. its gotta be SILLY. Anyway. Please make some. I want to see them.

[idlerin]

nonsense — epilogue: 43. utterly nonsensical

masterlist — previous | fin.

✦ fun facts !

oikawa does make sure that he proposes when [name] leasts expects it (and in clothes she would approve of)

its been two years since the final chapter, by this time, [name] already has a stable job as a screenwriter while oikawa’s acting career is still booming.

[name]’s friends know oikawa has been wanting to propose for months.

nonsense ! an oikawa tooru social media au

synopsis. you were oikawa tooru’s #1 fan, until you became his #1 hater. you hated him so much you went viral on twitter (accidentally) and literally became known as “the oikawa tooru hater”, doesn’t help that he keeps fueling the fire by subtweeting you. everyone is all in for this new drama. what isn’t known to the public, is that this particular drama’s been on hold for three years (him being your ex and all).

a/n — 3/3! i don’t even know where to begin, nonsense has been an integral part of my life for around 2-3 years, even before i began posting the story on tumblr, before it was even called ‘nonsense’. it’s been on the back of my mind for ages, and when i started this story i didn’t even think it would take me this long to finish it. there has been a lot of times where i lost motivation in writing, and i never forced myself to create because then i just know the content i would put out wouldn’t be the same. so i wrote when i felt like it, when i wanted to, because i think you should never force yourself to continue something if you don’t feel like doing it anymore.

i’m also the type of person that would persist when i love something, and i really really love nonsense. i love this little world that i created and i hope other people loved it too. it’s funny how nonsense began as a silly little thought just because i ran out of smaus to read, and i really did not know how to even make one! i just relied mostly on my gut and thought to myself what i would like to read :). nonsense is very dear to me because it’s the first smau i ever made, i started this last year and i think the story grew with me!

i would just like to thank everyone who read, liked, commented, reblogged, interacted, and spared time for nonsense. i can never say enough how every single one of you mean the world to me, you guys were part of the reason i kept coming back and finishing what i left of. motivation is really the key problem i have, and i can say what motivates me is my love for the story, haikyuu, and you guys ❤️

i love all of you so so so much, thank you for being part of this story and hopefully reading nonsense had made you smile or even made your day.

now, onto my next work! (that i will most likely procrastinate on too, bare with me my darlings)

taglist is closed ! + (1/2) @kawaii-angelanne @ceneridiankaa @kittycasie @rukia-uchiha-98 @polish-cereal @kellesvt @rockleeisbaeeee @kashxyou @imsoluvly @jjulliette @tooruchiiscribs @littlefreakjulia @gomjohs @qualitygiantshoepsychic @mellowknightcolorfarm @konzumeken @migosple @kuroogguk @sangwooooo @katsu-shi @wolffmaiden @rijhi @2baddies-1porsche @yeehawcity @aishkaaa @crueldinasty @renardiererin @yyuiz @llamakenma @penguinlovestowrite @princelingperfect @hearts4faey @yoonabeo @pantherhappy @julia-1901 @godsbiggestmenace @angel-luv-04 @noideawhothatis @bethbat @natsvmie @luna-mothii @lylovw @apinu @leave-rae-alone @kamikokii @bananasquash @eitaababe @minimari415 @hanabihwa @nilopillo

[aka-indulgence]

Imminent Threat: Baby Pictures Confirmed!

I was bitten by the inspiration bug and I do love this idea a lot, heheh…

Wanna see what happens if HT!Sans catches a glimpse of your baby pictures?

(HT!Sans x Female!Reader)

(No warnings just be prepared for silly, fluff, and cute (aggression))

——————

Sans twiddles his thumbs, watching you leave with the dishes into the kitchen. Your parents had forbidden him from doing the dishes.

“You made us this wonderful meal! It’s her turn on the chores anyway,”

“What! I come home to see you and you’re just making me do chores?”

“Yes! It’s to catch up on all the chores you missed these past few months! Hahahah!”

He turned to you and whispered a pathetic little “sorry,” but you waved him off.

“It’s ok, I’m used to it. Might as well treat them since I can’t cook like you, right? Keep them company.”

So here he was, sitting on the table, feeling like he was going to expel the meal he just ate, watching your parents wipe their lips with tissue like they were about to interrogate him.

“So, how’s living with (Y/n) like?”

“good.” no no. too fast. talk more. “she…… she’s nice.”

nice? is that all i have to say about her?

“Ah. That’s good to hear,” your dad replies, taking a sip of tea from a mug.

…

i guess if i said the other things i thought of her, they’d probably want to take her away from me.

“Hey, I hope she’s more active than how she used to be. She used to stay home for days, and we’d have to remind her to go outside and get some sun!” Your mom chortles, and Sans rubs the back of his neck.

“a… actually… she’s the one that wants to leave the house now. i don’t… like leaving. the house is nicer.” Sans forces a grin, but he can’t tell if it’s coming off as awkward or spine-chillingly horrifying.

He can’t gauge how your parents reacted. Your dad smirked, and your mom tilted her head. What does that mean? Do they not approve? Sans usually prides himself in being able to read people like a book- even after the head injury. But his skull is full of thoughts.

“I imagine you’d have to stay at home to hone that cooking skill, then?” Your mom offered, “that stew was amazing! The blend of herbs and spices, the broth wasn’t too thick or thin, and the meat was cooked to perfection…”

Your dad chuckles. “I don’t know about cooking as much as my wife does, but I’ll tell you what, that’s one hell of a stew you’ve got. You could probably start a restaurant,”

“heh… heh you think?” His grin turns more genuine as his cheeks turn a tinge of dark blue.

“How did you learn to cook so well, Sans? Did you go to culinary school?” Your mom pries.

“oh… no actually, i learnt it all myself,” Sans explains, “back in the underground we didn’t have much to go on but we didn’t want to eat something completely tasteless so i learnt how to make things taste good with what we had…”

Sans realizes too late that maybe he brought up the underground a bit too casually, because all of a sudden your mom looks stricken with guilt, and your dad looks awfully uncomfortable.

“O-oh, I’m so sorry Sans, I didn’t mean to…”

“no no. i-i brought it up, you don’t have to apologize,”

Is he smiling too much? Should he be frowning? Wait hold on he’s looking at your mom too much, he should look at your dad now. Oh he’s looking away…

Why was he so bad at this? He’s relied on looking scary and stopping everyone from trying to talk to him. B-but he likes your parents, they’re nice, some of the few humans that actually look past his scary face and see him as… sort of harmless?

Your dad broke the silence.

“Yes, I’ve always tried to make the most of my meals. Like when I have crumbs I’d toss them near the anthill we used to have in the backyard. Hahah, one time when (Y/n) was very little she saw me throw breadcrumbs and asked me what I was doing. I told her I was feeding the ants, and she must have been really impressed with that idea… because,”

Your dad got into a fit of giggles, and Sans perks up.

“Tch… hih! Because the next day I found her standing in front of the anthill… with bread on top of it. Whole wheat, whole bread slice. I asked her what she was doing! And she said ‘I’m feeding the ants!’ She looked so proud I had to take a picture of her! I think I have it on my phone,”

Sans mouth opens. He all but quaked in his chair, having to physically restrain from grabbing your dad’s phone.

“m-m…” Sans coughs trying to regain composure, “may i see it,”

“On it, just… give me a sec…” Sans watched as your dad scrolled and scrolled, until…

“Found it,”

He turned his phone around.

There you were, no older than 3, in a little bucket hat, sleeveless shirt and shorts, with tiny flip flops. You had a bright, sunshine smile on your face, and humorously… a slice of bread sitting amidst the grass and dirt just a foot or two away from you.

Sans’ eyelights shrinks, his grin gone. Carefully, he takes the phone out of your dad’s hands and zooms in on your face. You had dimples in your cheeks, and they… they looked so plump like little squishballs. Your eyes were round and sparkled in the sun. His hands shook.

He must’ve looked unhinged.

“What do you think?” Your mom asked.

“sh…… she’s so small……” Sans breaths, then swallows, turning to your dad. “d… d’you… do you have more…?”

Your dad snorts, his arms crossed. “‘Do you have more’ he says,” he scoffs. “Kid, we have an entire baby album.”

****

You tuned out of the conversation in the kitchen, earphones plugging your ears, a tried and true ‘dish washing’ playlist playing as your background music. It was a nice break. You’re happy to see your parents again, but they can be a bit overbearing at times… ask Sans odd questions about monsters, sometimes mention how tiny you look next to your boyfriend (which had Sans hiding his face… they thought he was offended but he was mortified, worried your parents were hinting at how he was like with you in private).

Though you certainly didn’t miss doing chores back home, you did see it as a bit of a reprieve.

But then over the music, you heard laughter… loud laughter. It didn’t sound like your dad. And Sans doesn’t usually laugh that hard. It started soft at first but it got louder and louder, until you were sure that was Sans. What were they doing to him? It almost sounded like they found his most ticklish bone and was torturing him with him.

A laugh startled you so bad you almost dropped a clean plate onto the floor. You took off an earphone just in time for your mom to walk in.

“Hi dear, this is your dad’s, he’s finished his tea. You don’t have to wash it if you don’t want to…”

“Yea, ok-” you say, distracted and looking over your mom’s shoulder as if you could see what was causing all the ruckus. “What is happening???”

“Oh,” your mom laughed, “Sans is such a sweet, delightful monster. Your dad’s showing him your baby pictures-”

“Excuse me my WHAT?!!”

You threw the gloves onto the sink counter, washed your hands hastily, and yanked the other earphone off, tossing them haphazardly into a pocket. Tripping over your feet to sprint into the room, though you realize you’re too late.

Sans is vibrating on the sofa, having migrated from the table it seems. His eyelight was blown wide, the widest you’ve seen it, glued to the open book in front of him. Your dad flipped a page, looking unaware of the murderous skeleton next to him.

“And here… oh this was on a trip to the beach. She’d gotten scared of water because of a wave too big had brought her out from shore and her legs couldn’t reach the sand. It wasn’t out to sea or anything, but when you’re that small it must’ve been scary. But the hotel had a pool and I couldn’t have my daughter stay afraid of water… this was after a fun session of swimming in floaties and being swung into the pool.”

“ah… HAHAHAH! bright… orange…!”

It was clear to you now. Sans wasn’t laughing from something funny. He was overjoyed. So overjoyed he can’t contain it in himself that he just bursts with it. His eyelights warbled. They looked like hearts shimmering under a running river.

You grabbed your head in despair. “No, no no- what have you done!”

Your dad had looked up immediately, while Sans’ didn’t, holding onto the album. Though… his grin had twisted into something dark.

Dad took a photo out, the one he was just explaining: a picture of you laughing in orange floaties, floral swimwear, carried by your dad in a clear blue pool, looking up at the camera. The sides of the picture were slightly yellow.

“Do you remember this, poppy? It’s weird to think you were ever scared of water now… it’s hard to stop you from swimming, nowadays,”

You can’t help but smile in your heart a little. It brought back happy memories of travelling with your parents when you were little.

Unfortunately, there are far more pressing matters at the moment.

“No, wait, dad… what did you do?”

“What?”

“You… you showed Sans my baby pictures?”

“Baby and toddler pictures,” your dad corrected. “Also there’s no need to be embarrassed, I feel like it’s a right of passage to have your baby pictures shown to your significant other by your parents.”

“No, I’m not embarrassed,” you shake your hands helplessly, “it’s just… Sans is gonna kill me,”

There was an incident, almost a year ago now. You were shuffling through some things you found in a box you never unpacked… at the bottom you found a polaroid of you rolled up in a baby blue blanket and, admittedly, looking pretty darned cute.

You showed it to Sans, innocently. It’s cute, you can admit it, and you knew Sans would appreciate it.

Oh how naive you were.

He held the picture, stared at it. Was at a loss for words, though he kept trying to form them helplessly, bringing it close to his face like he couldn’t believe what he was seeing. Then he muttered.

“b… baby…… b… baby…”

Then he went crazy. Picking you up, not listening to your protests- usually when Sans gets in a cuddly mood he ignores your complaints but that time, it was like he really couldn’t hear you. His pupil was blown wide and constantly shifted from heart to circle. He squashed you in bed, smooshed your cheeks, kissed you until you were gasping for breath- you don’t even think it’s a sexual thing, he was just overcome with cute aggression!

It wasn’t a one time thing either. Carelessly, you’d leave the picture propped up on the window as a cute memento aesthetic… thing, maybe, but every time Sans looked at the picture too long, he’d get into his violent cuddly moods and kidnap you to the bedroom to squish you. Eventually you had to hide it to avoid inducing anymore ‘cute-induced murderous rage’ in him.

And your parents just opened pandora’s box for you.

Your brows furrow in worry as Sans looks up from the album to you, his eyelight tightening into just a fraction of what it was before, zeroing in on you. His grin was wide and deranged. He chuckled, a low, threatening sound.

“heh heh… i’m going to crush you.”

[yuri-is-online]

Keep thinking bout Yutu and his relationship to his dad. Like we know a little more about Ace, Floyd, Azul and Riddle (maybe I miss someone else?) but I was curious about other details or interactions with the other Overblot boys.

Like how does talking with someone who tries his best to not get involved in other people's business like Jamil work for making his parents fall in love (if that's even something Yutu can see happening with how distant he is)? How does Yutu go about trying to lay some clues for Vil without being found when Vil's doing his best (with Rook's help) to figure out what's going on?

Or what about the shenanigans Ortho would get to to ensure Idia and Yuu get together so they can try to stop the apocalypse and how would Yutu feel about having at least one person (his uncle at that!) who he can rely on? Or does Yutu ever find himself in a situation that makes him go "oh, I could've had this with dad if it weren't for the council" whenever Malleus says something deep without realizing?

Gaaaaahhhhh I just really like this au and I wanna ask you so many questions but I also don't wanna be annoying

ask is referencing the fyuuture kid au, information on which can be found here and here, or under the series section on my masterlist.

No one is annoying for asking questions! I have asks for Idia and Leona's Yutus, which I think makes every overblot boy except for Jamil and Vil due for a detailed post. Azul! Yutu is a bit of a grey area since I have talked about him a bunch but haven't done detailed hc for him. Yet anyway, Jade and Floyd got one so he needs one too otherwise it'll bug me.

Jamil! Yutu absolutely has a lot of guilt and self hatred around his entire existence. As I talked about in the post about the main cast, Jamil was executed in Yutu's future, and he feels personally responsible for that. If his dad had never fallen in love with Yuu then he would have had a chance at his freedom, that's how Yutu has come to see it anyway. He doesn't want Jamil to fall in love with Yuu, even if it means erasing his existence. Down that road lies only tragedy, but there is also something so beautiful about the way Jamil interacts with Yuu when he thinks no one is looking. There is a degree of mutual respect for how hard the other works and intense desire for approval and praise he can sympathize with. He just doesn't see a way for this to end well if it's allowed to continue, he's a very pessimistic kid Jamil! Yutu. But then again the others didn't have to see the rotted corpse of their father getting dragged around by a blot phantom and be told by a few angry relatives of Kalim that he is the one who put him there.

Vil! Yutu is a bit afraid of his dad. He knows from personal experience that the man is intense and does not take no for an answer but he's never been in the position to see 1) what a good thing that can be or 2) just how silly that can make him act. He's also NEVER had to contend with the real Rook before. The Rook he's familiar with is a mindless monster, dangerous sure, but with patterns you can memorize and protect yourself from. This guy is just wild, sure his dad says that he's only putting up for his behavior "for now" but someone tell him where the fucking line is??? The last thing he wants is to just say everything and risk ruining the timeline but Vil keeps demanding specifics. The main thing Yutu tries to do is get him cooperating with Idia in learning about blot phantoms, the way he sees it things will be much easier if his two most trusted adults are on the same page. It's not a difficult ask either post chapter six, I think Vil is someone who would want to understand what happened to him on a scientific level to some degree, but oh Yutu. Now you've just made him wonder how you know that little piece of information, not everyone knows about his overblot, but he didn't know that bit did he?

Ortho and Idia! Yutu wind up being very close. Having his uncle on his side puts Yutu in a much more stable place emotionally and mentally than other Yutus. They spend a lot of time analyzing old records about blot and phantoms, everyone else is convinced they're just hyping each other up for some weird PhD project inspired by the Ramshackle Prefect's time at NRC and hey. They aren't exactly wrong. As for how they go about trying to get Idia and Yuu together... it's a lot of anime recommendations and conveniently forgetting they had something else to do. Yutu has just as in depth knowledge of Idia's tastes as Ortho does, and the added bonus of knowing Yuu's, so they search through lists of things, pick out the shows they know will get the two of you talking and then sit back and let you interact. Yutu is genuinely confused about why or if this is working... but Ortho did send him a video of his dad hyping himself up to try and ask you out (he over heated and just hid inside his room instead but hey. It's the thought that counts.)

Malleus! Yutu just got his post here. And yes he does think regularly about what he could have had with his father if things had been different, but a lot of those thoughts come from his sillier moments. Hearing Malleus talk at length about ruins or seeing him confused about how to interact with technology make him seem more... human for lack of a better term to him. He's very familiar with the myth of Malleus Draconia, but he wasn't fathered by a myth. He was fathered by a man who fell in love with a human under very extraordinary circumstances and Yutu wants to know about why. What things did Malleus like most about Yuu? About Twisted Wonderland? If he had gotten a chance to be raised by him what things would Malleus have wanted to teach him? Would he be any different?

Azul! Yutu is also afraid of his dad, but not based on any personal experiences just his own insecurities. He's not a thin guy, he's not in Octavinelle, and he is extremely worried that his dad will see him as some sort of stupid muscle head and be disappointed in having him. He's also, understandably, extremely angry at him when he learns what he did in Book 3 to his parent. Fuck this guy, he'll just save Yuu himself and hopefully if they still get together he'll grow up to be a totally different person when he's born in this good timeline. But there's just something about Azul's approval that he can't help but want now that drives him crazy. Why can't he just be ok with being alone? He has been all this time anyway...

(Meanwhile Azul is deeply impressed with how well Yutu is at disguising himself as a dumb muscle head. Just look at the kid, he's got everyone thinking he just is controlling their shadows while he's actually using a really complicated bit of cosmic magic. Suckers all of them. Not him though. He's not being fooled by anything about Yutu, no sir.)

Leona, Leona, Leona. He's tricky for me to write. Scar apparently has children? In one the the Lion King sequels? Leona's dislike of kids seems to come from his complicated feelings around the throne and his want for people to be independent. I think he would be one of those gruff intense kind of dads who does the whole "we are never getting a pet" thing and then you see him asleep on the recliner with Princess Nooodles III chilling on his lap with him. Anyway back to Yutu-

Leona! Yutu's relationship with his dad is tempered by the fact Leona knows who and what he is from the start and demands to know why he has traveled back in time. He doesn't explicitly say he knows that he is his father or that Yuu is his other parent, just that he knows time travel is involved, so they have a fairly open amount of communication regarding the overblot "business" but not on much else. Yutu has a desire to understand his father and Leona has a desire to not disappoint him. Who would want their dad to be the second prince? He's destined for nothing but a miserable life anyway, all of the responsibility and none of the privilege (outside of the money but lets be real, Leona's ass does not understand that.) I don't think either Leona or Yutu fully understands that his existence is enough for the other to be happy. When they are forced to talk about it they both laugh it off and roll their eyes at how cheesy that sounds but deep down it means a lot to both of them.

Riddle! Yutu has gotten a lot of posts about him and his "hatred" of his dad but I thought I'd take this post to mention I like the idea of Yutu's favorite food being the chestnut tarts/mont blanc that aren't allowed at Unbirthday Parties but that Riddle still wanted to eat anyway. He's a lot like his father in his love of sweets and his determined denial of it, but he isn't the exact same. Also gives him one more thing to pick a fight with Riddle over (his dad doesn't get the big deal, they can just have a private tea party with Yuu and have all the different sweets they want... can't they?)

[vampcubus]

Roommate!Kyojuro who’s been your best friend since Pre-K. You know each other inside and out, down to your usual orders and all your favorite restaurants. 

Roommate!Kyojuro who brings you food whenever he stops to grab takeout, always thinking of you and what you’d want. Haven’t eaten lunch yet? He’s driving up to your work so you can eat in his car. Falling asleep during college classes? He’ll show up with your favorite coffee order.

Roommate!Kyojuro who can read your mood with a single look and knows exactly what to say to get you cracking up. He’s emotionally intelligent and gives you massive side eye if you try to lie and say you’re feeling fine when you’re clearly not.

Roommate!Kyojuro who makes you do silly TikToks with him and has countless random pictures of you doing the most mundane shit in his camera roll. Most of the photos he takes are ruined somehow; there’s always a glare of light or you move at the last moment. Among those god-awful cryptid pics are albums upon albums of pictures of you two together. All photos from trips you’ve taken, those impulsive 3 am outings, and movie nights with you passed out on his shoulder.

Roommate!Kyojuro who sends you a meme when you’re both supposed to be asleep just to hear you laugh through the wall separating your rooms.

Roommate!Kyojuro who pokes his head into the kitchen the moment he hears pots and pans being moved around. “What’re you cooking?” 

Roommate!Kyojuro who relies on you for meals that aren’t takeout since he’s a pretty crummy cook, and though you’ve made progress teaching him, his rice still comes out crunchy and he overcooks most other things. Whenever you’re away for a few days he sends you pics of the meals he attempts by himself seeking your approval. Pls tell him his grilled cheese looks amazing, he’s so proud of it.

Roommate!Kyojuro who will actually RKO you if you even try to do the dishes. “You go through the trouble of cooking for me every day. I don’t want you to even look at those dishes, you hear me?” And if he finds out you did them, you’re in for an earful.

Roommate!Kyojuro who would never force you to come to the gym with him but always insists that he come along when you go. His close proximity wards off creeps and he’s an amazing hype man so you never complain, but he genuinely just wants to make sure you’re safe while you’re there.

Roommate!Kyojuro who cuddles with you on the couch and gets sucked into your tv dramas. He has the funniest reactions to shady moments and fights. He never fails to fall asleep at integral moments and needs to be briefed again, but acts so betrayed when he catches you watching them without him.

Roommate!Kyojuro who gets into crochet and makes you cute little plushies and socks. He’s SO proud to present his first full blanket to you and melts into a puddle whenever he finds you snuggled up with it.

Roommate!Kyojuro who has a bit of a “stray problem” and is always feeding the stray cats that roam around your apartment complex. At least two or three of them have become 100% indoor cats and he considers them his children. Takes them to get all their shots, sends you clips of them doing silly stuff while you’re at work, and crochets toys for them. He tears up when the most aloof kitty starts batting one of the crochet mice around. Sends you a frantic text of “HE TOUCHED IT!!!” 

Roommate!Kyojuro who mindlessly tosses your laundry in with his if he sees it building up.

Roommate!Kyojuro who sneaks your shampoo because he likes the way you smell and acts dumb when you complain about running out so fast.

Roommate!Kyojuro who respects you too much to steal your panties when they get mixed in with his laundry but desperately humps into his fist later that night to thoughts of you filling them. A hand clapped over his mouth to smother his loud whimpers so he doesn’t alert your sleeping form through the paper-thin wall between your rooms. 

Roommate!Kyojuro who wants to tell you how everything you do inadvertently turns him on, but would rather die than risk fucking up your friendship.

Roommate!Kyojuro that always cums with your name on his lips without fail, golden-red eyes rolled back as he fantasizes about your hands replacing his own. 

Roommate!Kyojuro who never forgot the time you were dared to kiss at a party in high school. The soft press of your plush lips against his trembling ones has been burnt into his mind, always surfacing when he’s rutting into a pillow, pretending it's you. He imagines kissing you so often it’s a wonder you don’t see the way his eyes stare at your lips when you drink from a straw or chew at a pen.

Roommate!Kyojuro who would do anything for you, but selfishly wishes you'd see him as more than a friend.

[beetlejuicyy]

"I'm home." Satoru announced as soon as he stepped inside the apartment. It wasn't the usual cheerful voice, since he must have had a particularily hard day. It was long past midnight but he knew you could never sleep until he got home, so he always let you know from the front door.

Too tired to bend over and take his shoes off properly, he only pushed them away from his feet by the heel and abandoned them there, right in front of the door.

"Wait a second, honey!" Satoru smiled as he walked in the spacious livingroom, the wall in front of him entirely made of glass. The night city was this peaceful thanks to him, who took care of three special grade curses today, one after the other. A mellow feeling of pride bloomed in his heart, although his body and his mind were exhausted.

Satoru landed on the couch loudly, his head leaning on the curved back of the sofa. The world surrounding him was even harsher on his eyes now that he was tired, but at home he could relax, at last.

"Aren't you coming to greet your amazing husband?" His voice echoed in the empty livingroom. The lights were off, only a warm lighted lamp in the corner of the room turned on. The silence was so comforting. He took his blindfold off as he waited for you, sky blue eyes brighter than the weak lamp light.

"Hi handsome." You greeted him as you came from the bedroom, freshly out of the shower, wearing the expensive set of baby blue satin pajamas he had bought for you. It consisted of a spaghetti strap short gown and a robe, both of them having soft white lace sown at the hems.

"Ooh. I have such good taste." He said as he raised his eyes to look at you, a smile forming on his lips at your sight. It was the first time you were wearing them. Last monday, he had come back from a week long mission in another city, holding a pretty bag saying he missed you so much he had bought everything that reminded him of you.

"The lace is itchy though, I don't think I can sleep in them." You said, still spinning around once in front of him to show off your fit before sitting in his lap, your arms around his neck.

"I was talking about my taste in women, actually." His hands found your hips quickly and he hummed in approval when his fingers felt the soft fabric.

Now that you were so close to him you could see, you could feel how tired he was. How weak his grip was on your hips, how heavy his eyelids, how sensitive his eyes. But the most telling aspect of his fatigue was his silence. Satoru was usually loud and playful, even if he came back to you at dawn. But his words were scarce now, as soft lines formed between his frowned brows, eyes vulnerable to every little information surrounding him.

"You can keep the blindfold on, you know." Your voice was soft, almost a whisper, your fingers buried in his white hair.

"Naaah."

It was almost unbelievable that this spoiled toddler who was burying his face in the crook of your neck was the strongest jujutsu sorcerer everyone was relying on. Satoru took a deep breath, your familiar smell helping him relax a little more.

"Toru..." You hummed as your fingers gently massaged the back of his neck. He whimpered lowly, encouraging you to keep going. "If it's easier for you to wear the blindfold you can wear it, I don't mind."

You once made the mistake of complaining that he would keep his eyes covered even at home with you sometimes. A selfish and unconsiderate tought of yours that you let out without pondering much on why he felt the need to lessen the burden on his senses at all times by wearing a blindfold. Anyhow, he stopped covering his eyes in your presence.

"I want to see my pretty girl clearly." He argued, although he looked for some relief by pressing his eyes closed against your skin, his lips close to your collarbone.

"You can't see me anyway, silly." You giggled. His hands were now shut into fists grabbing your night gown as he pulled you closer, and you embraced him as tightly as you could. "Don't you want to lay down?" You asked after a few short minutes of silence. Only when he didn't answer you noticed his deep, even breaths. He had fallen asleep. "Satoru." You called out his name softly, one hand of yours rubbing his back, trying to wake him up as gently as possible. If you could, you would have put him in your pocket and took him to bed yourself.

"Hmm?" He hummed as he rubbed his eyes against your skin.

"Let's get you to bed, baby." He sighed, a loud sigh that signaled disappointment. "You can't sleep here. Come on." You tried to break away from his embrace, have him put the last drop of effort into walking to the bedroom, but he only held you tightly as if you were his teddy bear.

"Five more minutes." He whined.

"You'll fall asleep again..." Before you could finish your argument, he pulled you to the side to lay down on the couch. One of his legs placed on top of yours, his arms around your body as his face was now buried in your chest. He was completely at peace with you in his arms. You sighed as you shifted under his grip. Luckily it was warm enough to sleep without a blanket, although the couch wasn't the most comfortable spot and the lace at the hems of your pajamas was itchy. Still, you pressed a soft kiss on the crown of his head and closed your eyes, falling asleep in no time. The sun was rising over the city.

a/n: i miss him so much fr

divider: @dollywons

[hkpika07]

How do you think Gordon would show affection? Does he express it through physical touch or words?

YAY I GET TO TALK ABOUT HOW EMOTIONALLY REPRESSED GORDON IS AND THE SUBTLETIES OF HOW HE SHOWS LOVE

Okay Gordon is…. Not good at showing affection to say the least. It takes him years to even begin to soften up around his fellow engines and even when he does it’s very rare. But that’s not to say he doesn’t love and appreciate his friends far from it. Though he hides it under a million layers of coded jargon and fake anger/annoyance. (To which I’ve labeled Gordon Jargon) I honestly think if he tried to expression affection through words like a normal person he’d struggle to stutter out half a sentence then explode and crumble into dust.

I even drew a little comic about it. But I’m too lazy to grab the link since I’m answering this on mobile. So to summarize, Gordon will hide his worry/affection.care under a billion different layers that you have to decode. For example he might say to Edward. “You never shunt my coaches right, I’ll do it myself.” Is his was of saying “thanks for helping me up the hill again. I’ll shunt my coaches so you can take a break.” Or he might say “No no, big strong engines like myself don’t need the warm berth. We are perfectly fine without it. I’m far too strong to rely on such frivolities.” Is his way of saying “you take the warm berth, I heard you had a bad run in with the snow earlier, please take the warm berth so you can rest up.” And his most common phrase “You are such a stupid silly little engine what on earth were you thinking!?” Is his way of saying he was worried about you.

Gordon also probably shows a lot of emotion through micro-expressions because of that patented Gresly Emotional Repression™️

Another way of him showing affection is the amount of time it takes for him to apologize to you. His image is very important to him. He despises being wrong or being in the wrong. And will take a bit to apologize since he doesn’t want to admit it. Now he will always apologize since he learns from his mistakes and is a good person at heart but the amount of time it takes for him to apologize depends on the person and the situation. He will apologize to Edward and Henry the fastest, since not only does he realize he’s wrong he also doesn’t want to see them upset.

Gordon is not a physical touch person at all. I would say his love language is acts of service. He’ll do little things like shunt his own coaches, let others take the turntable first, let them go ahead of him for water, coal or go first at the steam works.

In ITAR specifically, he shows affection with his avatar as well. While he doesn’t do hugs or physical touch, the most he’ll do is give you an approving shoulder pat. Though he has made a couple of exceptions. He was pulled into a hug by Edward and Henry a few times (they always initiated the hug), he gave James an affectionate side hug at the end of the great race, he has hugged Spencer after the silver slick had a emotional breakdown, and the only time he ever initiated a hug was when he had his own emotional breakdown in front of Edward. But the most often way he’ll show affection with his avatar (and this is a sign you’ve earned his trust) is by giving you his jacket. If you’re cold, or sad and he cares about you, he will toss his jacket in your face or throw it around your shoulders. He’s probably the most affectionate with his kids. He will leave a small plate of coal and mug of water for his kids as well as give them some hair ruffling.

In ITAR one of the only times Gordon has actively shown great amounts of parental emotion is in Journey Beyond Sodor when James and Thomas get lost on the mainland. He has a panic attack because James is gone. If anything happened to any one of his kids he’d be a wreck. He worries by anxiously pacing back and forth for hours, hand over his mouth not saying a word.

[gidle]

I read the lyrics of Wife and they're even worse than Queencard. I'm too afraid to listen to it, I can only hope that the rest of the album isn't like this nonsense. I miss their old music and lyrics, it was poetry in comparison to whatever they're doing now :(

Anon i wonder if you arrived at this blog in the past five minutes bc i have not been silent about wife. You’re barking at the wrong tree here.

I will always defend someone’s right to not vibe with the style of the song bc that’s personal taste. But if you say Wife has gibberish lyrics I’m assuming you rely very superficially on only English translations because KBS has deemed the song too sexual for broadcast, so it’s definitely not “nonsense”. It isn’t in English either. The mv, the styling, the lyrics, they’re all full of metaphor and satire (detailed here and here and here).

I don’t think you’ll like when you listen to the song because your mind seems already set. Honestly I don’t think you’ll like anything they put out because as you say, you miss their old sound and music, whatever you think that means. Nxde was just a comeback ago. Senorita and dumdi dumdi were terribly unserious. I don’t think latata and uh oh were that groundbreaking either. I do wonder if you’re the same anon I answered a while ago?

If you’re using pre and post Soojin as old and new I just think you need to be more honest with yourself about why you don’t like their new songs anymore. For the reasons stated above, I think it’s way beyond what you deem sensical lyrics and good music. Gidle has a wide range, they’re versatile and always with a new concept, to the point I’ve seen people calling them inconsistent. So if none of their very different to each other comebacks has been appealing to you, there can be other reasons than the ones you’re trying to rationalize. Soyeon will not produce gidle as it is now the same way she would as it were then. And I will miss Soojin in the group until I perish but it will never be because I want them to return to their old “better style”. I’d kill to see Soojin tomboying and queencarding.

I love the fun they bring to kpop. I love to see them act confidently “silly”. Even the silliness is debatable, as it is intentional, as it’s not mindless, because they ARE making statements, whether you recognize it or not, and also regardless if you approve of the way it is made. Gidle is thriving with a method a lot of groups can’t afford to. They’re grown women doing grown women business, they’re self made and self produced and paraphrasing one of the videos linked above, they’re not gonna say something unless they have something to say. They’re always innovating, they never follow a formula, there’s barely a pattern between comebacks except for the fact that it’s always them. It’s who they are and what they want to show. That’s what I love about them, that’s what makes every comeback interesting. And this has not changed, not even once.

[revvethasmythh]

Looks like Sam/FCG is getting on peoples nerves (fandom wise) the last few episodes. Saw someone say that FCG was hypocritical, and putting others in danger, relying on the changebringer too much. Someone was also annoyed with the FCG’s insistence on going to Imogen’s hometown when she clearly didn’t want to. It seems like I only see criticism and hatred to FCG and not to Imogen or Laudna or any other character when their being annoying or assholes.

You know, anon, fantastic timing on sending this because I've been debating whether I wanted to write something about this exact topic for a little over a week. Because, at least imo, I agree that I've seen quite a bit of...disgruntlement? anger? mean-spiritedness? over FCG's more (intentionally! it's part of the bit! and, like, his character development!) annoying traits, most recently his turn to blind faith with the Changebringer coin, but it's certainly something I've seen pop up other times in general. And I think it's interesting that FCG seems to exists within the confines of a sort of....conditional tolerance by a lot of people? And that condition seems be to whether he's supporting their favorite character (or, god forbid I talk about this, favorite ships) in a way that they like to see. It's like, as along as he's supporting who the viewers want him to be supporting in a way they see fit, he's fine. Hell, you even get the "fcg/sam riegel supremacy" comments sometimes if they do something the viewer particularly approves of. But the second FCG deviates from that and does something solely to further their own story, or even just, well, doesn't cast guidance on Imogen, it's like we're backtracking to this really strong point of negativity regarding them that really just seems to culminate in the idea that their behavior is plain on old annoying and could they stop, please?

It's an interesting dichotomy. And, like, this isn't really about whether people actually like or dislike FCG as a character (a person's opinions about him as a character is actually not the point here!), it's the fluctuation of the opinion that stands out to me. The loud approval if he does something the audience deems as "good" and the loud dismissal if he does something the audience deems as "bad" or "annoying." Hence "conditional tolerance" is sort of the phrase I've landed on to describe the phenomena. This is something I think has shown up in shades with other Sam Riegel PCs as well, though to be fair I wasn't active in the fandom pre-90s in the M9 campaign. But I feel like something similar did happen with Veth in parts of the M9, as memory serves. I feel like it has to have something to do with people's inability to look past the "bit" and see the deeper character work that seeded into those bits. If the audience member is assessing the character's actions as nothing more than a silly bit that's getting in the way, perhaps they become quite aggravated by it? (Also, I'm not going to get into the specifics of how people's christian-centric view of religion is absolutely affecting the way they're responding to the "blind faith" thing, but. You know). Like, there is something to be said here about people not wanting to actually delve deeply into the character work happening in Sam's PCs, I'm sure. It's a...unique way of engaging with his characters that is simultaneously so annoying to me as fan of Sam's PCs and also, like, weirdly fascinating as someone who did reception studies in grad school? Like, it is genuinely a unique, if irritating, aspect of the fandom discourse.

[mandatory-blog-stop-asking]

Weird thing, but I miss Alfred.

It's shaping up to be one of the longest "deaths" of a famous, legacy secondary character, at least in modern DC history. And in that way, it served the narrative pretty well, subverting the usual problems with death in comics. Sure, it was all over an ego trip some bad former Editor in Chief decided to have on a whim; King didn't really plan to kill off Alfred so nonchalantly and it wasn't meant to stick. People know that, it's well documented and they even had foreshadowing that he was Clayface being a part of the plan. So the fact that it sticks should be lauded, right? This is, after all, how death works.

And, sure, it made some characters grow. Bruce, specifically, moving to a brownstone and taking care of his son all by himself is a genuinely cool idea and I'm enjoying seeing him bond with Damian in ways he never bonded with the others. Dick as a billionaire philanthropist dedicating his newfound fortune to Alfred, his late sponsor, is a genuine stroke of genius. Actual change and progress in comic books, holy shit. A feast Spider-Man fans don't even remember how it tastes!

Yet it sometimes feels like you're reading a Batman book in an empty house, because Alfred is gone, and it was over nothing. An unplanned death that took him suddenly with no real gravitas or preparation. Not exactly the same -- okay, not the same by a wide margin, -- but it kinda reminds me of how Buffy fans reacted to The Body.

The character was here, and now they're not, and it genuinely feels empty and real in a way you're not really expecting popcorn media to feel. There's no power fantasy or melodrama or anything. Someone broke his neck and threw his body on the floor, and that's the end of Alfred Pennyworth.

And like, yeah, man, people obviously write stories about other versions that are alive and flashbacks. Nobody is literally gone from comics, things don't move forward *exclusively*, Alfred is a brand unto himself and will never be truly gone. It's the same reason why aging up Jon Kent isn't that big a deal; Super Sons will release as long as someone gets the approval, it's just going to be a flashback. It's fine. But to see the world having to move forward without him has been quite something, you know? People have had big personal moments that he's not there for.

Dick and Barbara got back together, Jason moved to the Hill, Tim got a boyfriend -- it's the kind of stuff these kids could rely on Alfred to talk about, or to help out with, or to simply Be There as a zealous figure for them, and he's just. Not. And the story moves on all the same, yet now it feels like there's a panel missing, somewhere.

Albeit they had like two or three individual times when the actual fucking ghost of Alfred Pennyworth came to say goodbye and peace out to Bruce, I still think it's a pretty solid guess that he'll come back before the end of the decade. The nature of comics means sometimes you need a back from the dead story to keep things fresh, and those can be done extremely well -- Resurrection of Magneto might be the best thing released in the Krakoa era, as far as fully realized minis go. But...

Shit, Alfred missed Damian going to school, you know? That's really sad. I miss Alfred. In a way I'll never miss Uncle Ben or the Wayne couple, I really miss opening a monthly and reading the latest wit out of Alfred's mouth at his silly son and his funny crusade. The nature of comic books being infinite until they're cancelled means this sort of relationship just doesn't get cut like this very often, and I can't recall the last time I *cared* when they tried cutting it.

It will be an awkward day when he comes back and it's back to normal business again, honestly. There's now an understanding of what Batman is without Alfred that I feel they don't have a great way of addressing. Don't really envy the writer who gets the job.

[regularponyfan]

Ok, so there’s this show on Nickelodeon, right?

It’s about a trio of anthropomorphic non-humans…

The members of the trio consist of a gray, lovable doofus who acts as a friend to all living things…

…a level-headed wannabe hero who is under the delusion that he is something he’s clearly not (ie: a genius or a member of a clan)…

…and a raven-haired, selfish jerkwad with an enormous ego and desire to be a part of the in-crowd.

Together they have adventures involving lunar sports…

…bizarre transformations…

…and a ton of fighting...

like...a lot...

Other characters on the show include the next-door neighbor whom the level-headed character has a crush on and tries to impress with elaborate lies…

…a perpetual-frowner whom the trio rely on to fix their problems…

…a group of brothers who act as rivals/bullies to the mains…

…Did I mention there’s an awesome car?

There’s also another female character who is badass at everything she does, thus earning the approval of the jerk character…

And overall, it's just a ton of fun chocked full of silly chaos and nonsense.

...Ya'll...these two shows are the same and you can't convince me otherwise...

[fanartbyherd]

Me having silly head-cannon designs for the other Olympians form Ulysses dies at dawn by the Mechanisms.

As well as what their role in the city is outside of being crime bosses and mobsters. I’m not 100% certain with all these designs, but they are something.

Introducing from top to bottom, left to right.

Zeus - the biggest crime boss of the city. He practically owns the utilities, especially has a monopoly on most of the cities power grid. He controls a lot of the city by keeping it in the family and he has a big family. (he/him)

Poseidon- powerhouse in industry who’s main competitors are hestia and hepatitis, but they work in a shaky alliance as often as they work against eachother. He also has control of all the resources that come from what’s left of the oceans.(he/him)

Hera- the ultimate socialite. Anyone who is anyone wants to be invited to her shindigs. To be dropped from the invite list is to be declared socially dead. She controls large parts of the cities everyday burocratices and especially when it comes to marriage, funerals and organized festivals. Paperwork needs her seal of approval to be legal. She is known to be petty. (She/her)

Apollo- a huge influencer, dominates the social media and content viewed by the masses. Most of his power comes from his control of the medical sector, but he distracts the population from that fact by his contributions in the arts and music. Called the sun of Olympus. He is sometimes called the sun of the Olympians and is set to take over as head of comity if Zeus ever steps down (not happening) has a particular dislike of the Coptic gods, Hades in particular. (he/him)

Athena- she is a powerhouse in libraries, education, and the legal network. They know the laws as they wrote most of the laws. She is also a great sponsor of the arts. she runs the newspapers and has a web of information.(she/them)

Hermes- transportation, shipping and delivery, they also essentially run large portions or the cities information network. They are sometimes called the ghost of the internet along with their assistant Iris. (they/them)

Artemis- law enforcement and jails. She has her elite huntresses who deal with outlaws and criminals, renegades and thieves. She also preserves the little that remains of the cities “wild places” this is most of the time more of luxury gardens than anything that is actually wilderness. She is often considered one of the weakest of the Olympians, but as she has the backing of her brother no one bothers her, she is also a lot more powerful than people really give her credit for. After all the weakest Olympian is still more powerful than the strongest mortal king (she/her)

Demeter- the madam of food. The farms of the cities are hers and everyone relies on her food. She has adopted the mysterious ‘Persephone’ as her daughter (she/ her)

Hephaestus- the other powerhouse of industry, but focusing more on specialized goods and luxuries. Him, Aphrodite and Aries have a well known on-again-off-again situation going on. He is also know for creative (he/him)

Aphrodite- she defines beauty. Their head can be removed and swapped out as well as most of their other body parts. She controls cosmetic industries and clothing trends. He is the ultimate pimp. Running all the cities brothels and red lights districts even if doing so In the shadows. (she/them/him)

Note: Aphrodite was sort of inspired by princess langwidere from the wizard of oz. Because she is low key horrifying and I think it would fit.

Ares- the machines of war, the defenses of city districts, personal security, and criminal activities are all places where ares turns his attention. War is business and they make certain business stays booming. (they/them)

Hestia- she is that one essential oils lady, queen of home gadgets and MLMS. This Olympian has for centuries monopolized housing and construction. She is the largest landlord and head of the majority construction companies in the city. She is planning on retirement so she can focus more on her love of pyramid schemes. Though she has yet to name a successor. (she/her)

Note: this is all headcannon that I made for the fun of it. Perhaps it will be useful to someone, but for now it’s just silly headcannons.

[asmallmoon333]

Silly question because I was scrolling through your Tumblr blog and really wanted to ask something but nothing came to mind except L and L looking different because Reasons TM.

We have L the rich family heir in the current Time Speaks arc. He's got a Family Approved TM makeover.

But what if Light was given a chance to give L a makeover? How would this new and visually improved L be?

Also how long do you think before L takes back makeover privileges and gets back to his usual? I bet an hour, max lmao.

So I thought about this for a minute lol

The thing about Light is, I actually don't think he spends as much time on his appearance or on appearance in general as some fanon implies. Yes, he's put together and looks good, but most of that is just a clean haircut and his natural face. Light is just good-looking on his own hahahahaha, and he uses that against people as part of his repertoire of tactics. Personally tho I think he relies on the "upstanding member of society" shtick much more than his looks, despite how I personally like to comment on his face in my story.

Why did I ramble about this here, you may ask? Because I actually don't see Light as giving L a makeover or even thinking about it much, based simply on what Light finds value in or has an interest in. At best I think he'd buy L a nice suit, or at the very least some fitting clothes, and give him a haircut, but nothing more than that. This would be a special occasion with other people involved, and so L would give in since he'd see it as important enough to submit until the end of whatever occasion it is. But in daily life or a makeover just for fun? I don't think Light would do it. Their weird sexual tension is 90% cerebral, and while Light uses society's proceptions against them, I don't think he takes them seriously himself. He's an actor on a stage wearing a costume, which is also why I think he's got so may clothes, and so many "fit the situation" clothing as we see. But beyond that, he doesn't care what others look like, and certainly doesn't care about L's looks beyond that one time he called him a weirdo when they met.

Also I don't think Light knows a thing about makeup (remaining purposefully ignorant, despite Misa's attempts), but also he's possessive and wouldn't want L to look too good to other people. So even less inclination to give him a makeover lol. But he does, personally, admire what L looked like with slicked-back hair when he has the chance to see it, as in that one fan art of them in the tub I've saved. >v>

Sorry if that's not the answer you were hoping for, it was still a fun one for me to think about!

(Now, if you'd asked about Misa giving L a makeover, that's a whole other story; she would sit him down and keep him there as her doll (hah) for as long as she possibly could, and he would actually just give in cause why not, he's bored, let's see what Misa can do. And she'd go in full, she'd dress him in all types of styles and genres, from historical to modern to goth, and even go into cosplay a bit, with full makeup and accessories. She would splurge on this cause his frame would make him perfect for some anime cosplay. There would be photoshoots, face artfully averted of course, and they'd be popular online. This would include male and female outfits btw. And L would have fun, even tho he didn't expect that he would, he finds it interesting. While Light would watch from the sidelines with an annoyed look on his face (he's not fooling anyone, he's there for every shoot). L, in contrast to Light, would actually listen to Misa and learn about a full makeup and hair care routine. He'd never employ that knowledge personally, but he'd remember it even if just to bring up to Light randomly like "Light-kun could do with some moisturizing sunscreen and leave-in conditioner, you're looking a bit sun damaged" "What?" lmao.)

So, yeah! ^v^

[semperreformanda]

life update

last june my boss let me go for “not being a good fit”

it didn’t take me long to put two and two together and realize that the big reason was because of my pregnancy. and the biggest support to this theory was he talked negatively about a coworker (who was in the company for 6+ years) who got pregnant, saying stuff like ���I don’t want her back … I already know how it goes when employees get pregnant, they’ll start calling out … I don’t want to deal with that” he would say all that stuff to me and others behind her back so I knew I was only gonna stick around to save some $$$ and use the insurance as much as I could

(oh and she was forced to resign bc they literally did not want her there anymore 🙃)

but when it finally happened it drove me in anxiety and anger because I had relied on the insurance especially bc I AM PREGNANT

yes it is illegal yes I should have reported it but I had no energy to do anything

but God reminded me through it all that He provides and He does! and so silly of me to think He could provide for my greatest need (my salvation through Christ) but not provide for our little earthly needs

another reason I was annoyed was I was already planning to quit but they beat me to it 😂 but that was honestly the worst company I’ve ever worked for. I could not deal with the constant disrespect and the yelling and the cussing and their questionable ethics

they stole an engineer’s professional seal and stamp it on their projects WITHOUT HIS APPROVAL meaning all projects are “approved” 🥴 this was the last straw for me bc imagine all the hazards

anyways… that was almost 3 months ago and I honestly feel so relieved to not be working there anymore. I spent too many times feeling so incredibly stressed out and then even more stressed out that I may be hurting the baby from it

speaking of… I am already 27 weeks pregnant today 😭 I remember when I first saw that faint line and thought I was hallucinating things. we tried for months only with a stark white test every month, so seeing a shadow of a line sent chills down my spine. and 27 weeks later my little bubba has gotten so big and active 😭 I love him so much

like it’s so crazy how he’s so close to me but also so far it’s like a long distance relationship 🥴💀

also learned a lot about gestational diabetes bc my hypochondriac brain was convinced I HAD IT

apparently it’s not due to your diet and you can’t even cause it. shocking how this is not widespread knowledge, because so many moms feel guilty for failing their baby when they’re diagnosed but in reality it is mostly your placenta being a jerk 😭

so for the past few days when I got the call that I failed my 1 hour I acted like I had gestational diabetes 😭 became very picky with what I ate, which is hard bc my culture loves rice 😭 and I took 10 min walks after meals

all I could think about was my blood sugars spiking and how I needed to bring it down 💀

also I had to fast for at least 8 hours before I could do my 3 hour glucose test which was honestly so hard bc if you’ve been pregnant you know the pregnancy hunger pangs!!! I cried after my test because I was anxious about having GD and also I felt so bad for my baby 😭😭 like I starved him 😂 even though I know he’s fine in there because placenta n all dat

anyways I just wanted to let you guys in on that bc why not and also I’m bored and drinking chai while my husband works besides me 🙂🤠

[useless-donut]

oh my god i played through both endings of astarions companion quest and spoilers below - it's really just an extremely long ramble

btw i just mean the finale of his quest, not the ending after the whole game

BOTH ARE SO DEVASTATING AND IM OBSESSED WITH BOTH OPTIONS

i rly like to play like im rping my tavs personality so that'll influence the end i go with on other playthroughs but woof

i love that larian gave us the one consequence that might make the power of ascension not worth it... fundamentally changing how astarion relates to and treats us. i REALLY thought id be chill with this option bc i love a power hungry man & my tav would die for him, but it hit SO much harder than i thought it would. maybe also because it was 2 am. but like im obsessed with the difference because of course it changes him—the man emotionally devastated by seeing his past victims deciding to condemn them all, and 6,000 other souls, for the allure of power and safety? and then reaching that unlimited power?

on one hand, seeing him lose that mix wariness & fondness & softness & bravado was GUTTING but also its very sweet that despite basically ascending to vampire godhood, he so badly wants to keep you around. even if, at the moment, he is still wrapping his head around his power and doesn't really see you as an equal lover anymore, vs. an item arguably at the top of things he wants

the lines where he stays hes toootally joking about calling you a pet and that you'll be too obedient for him to need to compel you, and his desire to keep you as a thrall & not give you agency... those are the lines that really killed me and sold the idea that our relationship was fundamentally altered. the "i love you... is what you want to hear, isnt it?" is also brutal, but astarions almost verbatim said that before lmao so i dont mind it as much, hes just silly

the break up options were really satisfying tho ngl and i love that theres two routes where you apologize for even bringing it up and you stay together, when in the past he'd act shocked if you ever chose to be with him

this ending also REALLY made me want to write a self insert (tav insert) fix it fic where you dump him for being a condescending asshole and after a long period of time and yk pining and mourning on your part, astarions going to finally decide maybe he does want a lover with agency and have like this nice slow burn of his personality resurfacing through all that power

like the vampire ascendant astarion rly felt like it was just like 900 tons of power smooshed into an astarion skin suit, and i love the idea that he would find his way back to himself eventually (but maybe after losing you... so sad... maybe he will come back and do the worst approximation of begging youve ever seen...)

anyway for the other ending, i mean. if youve gotten there you know what i mean. its lovely and bittersweet bc consequences and i think larian went a little too hard on selling us that this was the "good" outcome. however. i dont actually care because i played through it after the former version and WOW it was like the most relieving thing ever? to see him acting like himself again, and also very sweet to see how he relates to us afterwards. really up in my feels about how much he trusts us and also relied on us in that moment to remind him of his priorities. as he both he and us were perfectly aware he is exactly the type of personality to be absolutely corrupted by absolute power lmao (which is cute of him)

i thought it was also very interesting that in that moment you persuade him, he approves—like even in the heat of the moment, he didnt truly want to forget everything he cared about outside of safety and power. i didnt get an approval notif for him when i helped him go through with it, but it could just be bugged lol. anyway i rly love that that moment shows so clearly how ascending is a decision driven by fear and hunger for power, not by considering what he wants out of life

anyway my unfiltered thoughts:

we know a great deal about astarions wants and fears and desires from his story

- he desires freedom more than anything

- but that's not ALL he desires. it's freedom in abstract, but also freedom to be himself and to have a sense of who he even is in the first place. he know he deeply mourns losing touch with who he was when he was alive

- he fears being controlled by others, but has also never shown desire to control others in return

- he wants real intimacy & partnership and was afraid he couldn't figure out how to do it, how to relate to any of it without being coerced

because of all this, i do think the ascended vampire is more tragic for him. as an individual, he is happier, but as astarion, the person we've been getting to know—his new life doesn't meet his needs any better than the non-ascended version does. he'll talk about being free, but all he wants to do is... subjugate the world? control everyone and everything around him? like since when?

what really stood out to me is this man who LOVED the sun, missed it in the underdark, was amazed by seeing baldurs gate in light, he wants to cover everything in darkness. for his thralls he supposedly cares for (after sacrificing 7,000 of them for this power)

imo he gained a lack of fear and he gained safety, but the other things he wanted he didnt rly get, which i have more thoughts on than i really want to write here

umascended, he is still free, maybe less safe but that safety is in his control now, at least. and he probably could still swing a castle and an eternal lover if he wanted (did he even become a full vampire? i feel like he must have somewhere along the way) ngl.

anyway to sum it up, i love him so much both directions and will follow him around forever like a puppy regardless of what path he takes