#i relate hardcore to Dan

[siffroncrocus]

ford not realising he fancies a triangle and bill being into it is so funny to me because i did not pick up the subtext during the first time i read tbob until someone pointed it out

[maribird444]

EUUUUUGGGAAHHHHUUAAGGGHHHHH😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹❤️‍🩹

[eagna-eilis]

Lestat Watches Star Wars

Louis, viens t'asseoir dans la chambre television! Daniel has informed me that I must watch these masterpieces of the modern cinema... called Les Guerres D'Etoilles... you see this little boy, hm? i believe he will grow up to be most maniacal! MON DIEU regarde the red hornéd one as he twirls his rapier of fire! Louis, what is this, 'ow you say, 'podracing'? Is this a new mortal diversion? I should like to try it!

*

Mon cher, I do not understand why you are not paying attention - is the beauty of Monsieur McGregor not enough to draw your eye? Is he not your type, so blonde and charmant ...I neither understand nor trust these bourgeois politiciens d'espace at all... Oh, Louuuuuuuiiiisss regarde the beautiful dresses worn by Mademoiselle Padmé, she is trés elegante! Louis, what is a 'clone'? ...PUTAIN DE MERDE the heroic boy has slain tout les Raiders Tuskens! Les hommes, les dames, ET LES ENFANTS! Louis, I do not think that Mademoiselle Padmé should marry this brute, he is 'bad news' as the mortals say... WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU KNOW HOW SHE FEELS?! PUT DOWN THE PROUST AND SAY THAT TO MY FACE!

*

Ah, Louis, I can feel myself becoming attached to Monsieur Williams' belle musique. C'est most expressive, non? I feel for Petit Ani, he suffers at the thought of his beloved dying. Ah, would that he could bestow upon her the Dark Gift! ...LOUIS THEY HAVE OPERA IN THE GALAXIE LOINISSIMENT! ...oh SACRE BLEU Petit Ani has been flambéed! I can, 'ow you say, hardcore relate? Ah, so you are listening to me! What do you mean that if I was in space I would be a Sith Lord? that is most unkind, cher, most unkind indeed! Hmph!

*

C'est le temp pour le quatrieme! Un Espoir Nouveau! ahahaha Louis we should get an amusing little talking robot, non, come Le Err-doux-dee-doux et Le Cee-trois-pay-zero! oh mon cœur regarde the sunset, but double! How I understand Luc Marche-Etoilles, he longs to leave his sandy Auvergne for the bright lights of Tosche Station! Louis, what is a power converter? Louis, why do they fight poorly with their rapiers of fire when not three films ago they were wielding them with preternatural grace? ...Louis why did the furry one not receive an accolade from La Princesse?

*

Oh, Louuuuuiiiisss regarde the handsome Monsieur Solo in his coat d'hiver! He is such a dashing rogue! He loves to be told how bad he is! Il est trés sexy. Oh, Louis, don't pout with la jalousie. ...ugh, Lou, may we please do the fast-forward? I do not like this business in the swamp, and I think you know why. No, I don't know how to work the controller-remote - you must do it. PUTAIN SACRÉ THE EVIL BEAST IS THE FATHER OF BRAVE LUC! ...what do you mean we knew that already? We did not! I am shocked, Louis, SHOCKED I tell you... Why are you laughing at me? Oh, nevermind, I do so love to hear your laugh.

*

Louis, doesn't Monsieur Le Hutt remind you of Alderman Fenwick? Bahahaha, yes, Princesse! Strangle him! Oh, what a lark! ...Louis why do L'Empire continue to create these Etoilles de Morts when clearly they are no match for the magical powers of Luc, especially now that he is aided in confidence by wearing the most beguiling boots from Madame Chanel's fine atelier? ...Mon cher we could not trust you amongst those petits Chewbaccas, I fear you would eat them! ...sniff... sniffle... no Louis I'm not crying, there's just blood leaking from my eyes... just... I'm glad that Ani and Luc reunited... sniffle...

*

Louis, I do not understand what you mean. How can a mouse grab cash? Its petit souris paws could not hold more than a few centimes! ...hush now, mon chou, it is beginning ...Louis the delectable pilot and the beautiful ex-infantryman, they are supposedly 'just friends'. Mais ce n'est pas vrai, unless they are 'just friends' the same way you and I are 'just friends'! ...NON! NON NON NON! The beautiful Monsieur Solo has been slain by the fiery claymore of his own progeny! Que triste! Que Shakespearean! Though I for one wouldn't mind being impaled by Jeune Solo's claymore if you catch my... OW LOUIS DO NOT ELBOW ME IN THE RIBS! ARRÊT!

*

Loooooouuuuuuiiiiiiissssss, viennnnnnnnn, it is time for Les Derniers Jedi! OH MON DIEU Luke Skywalker, he is a hermit! Dedicated to his dying faith! Did you know Armand was comme ça when we met? Lou, do you think the petit Jedi and Jeune Solo should be lovers? L'internet is most divided on this, 'ow you say, sheeeep. Very well, declare me problematique if you must! Would L'Internet sheep us, pense-tu? Ce qui sera notre Sheep Name? Je pense qu'il y a 'Loustat'.

*

...Louis zis one has more inconsistencies du narrative than yours and Daniel's infernal book! Le Chancellor, 'e 'as returnéd. Somehow. SOMEHOW. Ou est my beloved Rose, une femme trés capable and courageouse? Putain de merde, zis is an abomination! Treasure hunt aprés treasure hunt! I cannot continue! I refuse! I will consult Notre Propre Archive for a superior conclusion! Bon nuit!

[starshifter]

notes for chp 5. come listen to me ramble

-

Blade is such a fucking mess in this chapter. No one emulate this self-destructive idiot.

Blade take a shower challenge. That’s fucking gross, dude. (Walking around with blood still on him is taken from in-game, actually. Bailu made that comment about him smelling like blood when he visited her, but not seeming injured, and that’s majorly colored how I see him interacting with his injuries. He can’t be bothered to take care of them all, because they just happen so much and he doesn't have the energy. Relatable, I guess. Still a biohazard.)

Why didn’t Blade call Welt directly? Honestly, I forgot he could do that lol. My terrible depression brain can’t remember anything. So clearly, Blade also forgot because he also has that. He’s been through a lot, forgetting things is normal. He also probably just wanted something familiar and comforting at that time, so he called Silver Wolf. She would have the answer, wouldn’t demand payment (looking at you, kafka), and would still be awake (firefly deserves what sleep she can get).

I fully believe that Silver Wolf is a disgusting goblin because she is a hardcore gamer. I don’t care how “gamer fantasy” she dresses. She’s a little gremlin who touches her gum and then puts her spitty little hands all over things. Disgusting. Someone spray her with a hose.

So I made the incorrect assumption that the Express had facilities for guests onboard. Since, you know, it’s a train that had passengers cycling on and off it in the past. Hell, in the present as well, based on the guests we picked up on Penacony. Where the hell are they staying??? Are they sleeping on the couches and borrowing the Trailblazer’s bathroom?? We just don’t know. Maybe there is a guest section, but that wasn’t good enough for a Nameless. Idk man. Nothing makes sense around here I’d honestly originally assumed that sleeping cars with additional rooms for passengers appeared and disappeared by the power of the Trailblaze depending on how many people were staying on the train. This was wrong. I also assumed they had public bathrooms since I didn’t see any attached to the archive’s or March’s room. Also wrong. Go figure. What the actual fuck was Himeko thinking? She deadass just looked at the half rebuilt train and was, like, three rooms is enough, right? And then she launched the Express into space without waiting for anyone to respond.

Yes, that was Himeko’s very polite version of a shovel talk. She does not have to resort to direct threats of violence to get her willingness to tear people apart across. Her power is just that great. I fucking love her, honestly. Her desire to tear Shush into scrap metal with her bare hands and impressive restraint fully justified my characterization in this scene.

They’re like…weirdly co-dependent despite being estranged for like 700 years?? Which is way longer than they’ve spent together. What’s up with that?

Also, there was a very fun gossip session held between the Trailblaze trio about DH’s crush on Blade that involved him sort of admitting that he did like Blade. He did try to stay silent and admit nothing, but eventually they started saying such outrageous things that he spoke up just to make them stop being so wrong.

The Trailblazer trio definitely all bully each other. Dan Heng gets bullied the least though, so he’s earned this. Let the girls repay his many sarcastic remarks 2k24. ….wait what’s the amber era in star rail again? Let’s try this again: let the girls bully Dan Heng back 2k157

I don’t know anything about archival work. However, I have two friends who work in archives. I still don’t really understand metadata (like, it’s shit like the day something was created. Useful and all, but I’m sure there’s more too), but they seem to think it’s a big deal. So Dan Heng cares about proper metadata maintenance. (I could have just asked them what they do, I suppose, but then I have to confess the existence of this fic and these are, like, college friends. Not fandom friends. I might combust on the spot if they asked to see the fic)

It also amuses me greatly that Jing Yuan is low-key haunting the narrative. Smuggled Blade off the Xianzhou… Sent DH those books to help him reconnect with his past… He’s out here playing 5D chess to help his friends while everyone else is still playing checkers.

DH did not decide his bed was lacking. At least not for the reason Blade thought. He doesn’t really care about having a big fancy bed, in fact he thinks it might make sleeping more difficult, he just wants to leech Blade’s warmth lmao

OK, so the suicide attempt was added on the edits, but I also debated adding an additional scene with Pom-Pom confronting Blade about it because they sensed the death happening on their train. Ultimately, I decided Pom-Pom was the wrong choice for this scene. Blade would not deal well with the Conductor lecturing him in that scenario. And! It was an excuse for more Firefly! I didn’t feel like I had enough of her in these last chapters and that annoyed me. So, more Stellaron Hunter feels, the whole fucking reason I started writing this damn fic before Blade hijacked it with his Dan Heng obsession smh

Seriously, this was supposed to be just Blade and Firefly going on an adventure together, and then I realized that they would both like to see their respective Trailblazers, so I added them, and then it spun completely out of control. As these things go…

Kafka’s bad romance choices were also added on the edits. I have a LOT of headcanons about Kafka and her disaster of a love life. Almost all of them are highly concerning. Oops. Kafhime might actually be more fucked up than Renheng the way that I would write it. That’s tragic. ….if I knew more about Kafka’s backstory, please know that I would ABSOLUTELY be writing kafhime right now. I crave my toxic lesbians, but I currently feel like I would have to make up way too much backstory with no supporting evidence and I don’t like doing that. ….maybe I could make an AU? No, bad, Des. Stop right fucking there. ….except… pirates……? NO. FUCK

[acourtofthought]

I am still confused as to why Rhys asked "you think you DESERVE to be her mate?" In response to Az asking if the cauldron was wrong. I am a hardcore elucien and gwynriel shipper but I want to know why Rhys responded this way. Rhys loves Az, and they didn't seem to have a fight before this conversation. Does Rhys know something we don't yet know?

I don't think it's so much that Rhys knows something so much as his shock at Az saying why he thinks he should be Elain's mate. "The Cauldron chose three sisters. Tell me how it's possible that my two brothers are with two of those sisters yet the third was given to another." I think Rhys's reaction to Az is best summed up with the following: "The entitlement mentality is defined as a sense of deserving-ness or being owed a favor when little or nothing has been done to deserve special treatment. It's the “you owe me” attitude. Entitlement is a narcissistic personality trait. It's not known exactly how this mentality develops." (source Dan Brennan, MD). The only reason Azriel gave Rhys for wanting to be Elain's mate is because his two brothers are with Elain's two sisters. Az refused to answer his question in regards to Mor then literally said to Rhys that because he is the third brother, he should have been given the third sister and that is a "you owe me" attitude. He believes that he deserves to be Elain's mate because of who he is in relation to Rhys and Cassian and that is entitlement. Not because they are in love and he's proven himself worthy of her. Remember, Az has pretty much avoided her for a year. Though we know Elain is still processing her trauma (confirmed by Elain herself), though we know she was upset over the fights she had with Nesta (we witnessed the tears in her eyes on page), Az decided that his best course of action was to not be there for her because he can't stand her bond even though she had not pushed him away (That is selfish). Rhys does love Az and I think that's why he was so horrified by his friends behavior because he knows Az's actions and his mentality in the POV were the worst versions of himself. He's treating Elain and mating bonds like a toy, that because his brothers got one with an Archeron, why didn't he? Regardless of whether people think that Rhys was too harsh or justified in how he handled things, the fact that SJM had one of Az's best friends call him out should be proof enough that Az's statements were disturbing and not romantic in the least.

[hannahmanderr]

can i get that bingo card w/ your Danny opinions?

DANNY MY SWEET BABY BOY okay so i was in the PJO tag a few days ago and saw a post where it was like "PJO is the only fandom where the fans' #1 blorbo is the main character" and I was like

I raise you the phandom despite the fact that y'all love to hurt this boy so much smh my head

ANYWAY HAVE SOME OPINIONS

Danny is a fantastic main character and the kind of archetype I love to see, esp s1-s2 Danny. In s3 he got screwed over by BH's determination to make him into a comic book superhero, but even still, you see the elements that make him so loveable and relatable

I am a hardcore proponent of the Danny Is The Only True Half-Ghost headcanon. Also Ghost King AU is canon to me

Reign Storm, for me, will always come out on top over TUE, especially in terms of Danny development. Yes, TUE is great for showing us the dark path that can await Danny should he stray from the one he's on, and it's great for making Danny come to terms with that, but I think the introduction of Dan and the aborted timeline overshadows most Danny development (no pun intended). And even though this post is about Danny, TUE also lacks in development for the rest of the cast (save for Jazz probably). Reign Storm, on the other hand, while we get dazzled with the world building and lore potential, still makes its mark as a huge turning point in Danny's development. It's his first real, huge test as a defender of not just Amity Park, and it's the first true test of how strong his character and convictions are. Possibly my favorite bit of dialogue from the whole series (that I have a nasty habit of referencing in my fics) is right before he goes to face Pariah Dark, when Tucker tries to tell Danny it's not his fault and he shouldn't feel so bad, and Danny responds with "Maybe not, but it is my responsibility." That just about perfectly sums up the kind of person Danny is and shows just how pure his heart is. Yes, he's still a kid who does selfish, irresponsible things and makes bad choices, but at the end of the day, when it really matters most, he's going to actively choose, without hesitation, to do the right thing. That's what makes him so compelling (one of these days I should do a thorough analysis of Reign Storm)

Danny is a bi icon

This boy, as fictional as he is, will always hold a special place in my heart. He's probably my favorite character in any piece of media ever, and that is not an exaggeration

Anyway I could probably go on forever about how much I love Danny and all my headcanons and how he deserves to be the Specialest Little Guy but I will refrain for now lol

[ramalbumclub]

20 Years of Almost Killed Me

Let me quickly run through the biography.

Craig Finn, future leader of The Hold Steady, was THAT kid in school - neither the first to be picked for the sports team, nor the last. A bespectacled adolescent navigating the school corridors, aware that there’s an “in-crowd” and he’s on the outs. 

He's the kid in-between - like most of us. Like me.

So what's the plan? How does he get from there to here?

Does he settle or does he aspire?

He does neither, he retreats into a world of books and music and becomes an expert in HIS field. He learns how to play guitar, becomes a fan of local Minneapolis bands like The Replacements and Husker Du, and, even though he's still a kid, he goes to see them at the "all ages hardcore matinee shows" in town.

Just a quick aside here but "hardcore matinee shows" sound like the most fun in the world - something to really build a day around. I'd basically vote for any political party that introduced them into the U.K.

But back to the story....

In his early '20s, Finn forms a band called Lifter Puller who are simultaneously pretty good but also not quite right. What works, spectacularly, is Finn's lyrics about drugs and the shady characters that surround them but "the not quite right" bit is the music - a sort of '80s inspired synth overdose that, at its worst, sounds like the soundtrack to a Brian De Palma movie and, at its best, sounds like the soundtrack to a Brian De Palma movie.

After a few albums, a modicum of success, Lifter Puller split up and Finn becomes a financial broker for American Express before moving to New York to get a job at a digital webcasting company. At this stage in Finn's life it would appear that his brief flirtation with a career in music had ended and he was now on a course for a series of jobs in tech and finance. In fact, he doesn't do anything related to music for two whole years. He's just the guy at work, the one who used to be in a band called Lifter Puller.

And then it happens.

Craig Finn is watching Martin Scorsese's The Last Waltz, the film of The Band's final concert, and he turns to his friend Tad Kubler, and says "Dude, why aren't there any bands like this anymore?"

Finn's observation is correct - there are no bands like that and I'm not sure there ever will be. But that's obvious, that's the bit we can all see. Even I've watched The Last Waltz and said to my mate Dan (I don't have a mate called Tad, I wish I did) - "Dude, why aren't there any bands like this anymore?"

No, what I love about this moment is what they did next. Finn and Kubler, there and then, decide to form a band like that. They took the completely mad decision in 2003, when everyone was still floored by that Neutral Milk Hotel album and everything it spawned, of creating a band with just guitar, bass, and drums.

They called themselves The Hold Steady and there wasn't a singing saw, a zanzithophone, or a wandering genie organ in sight.

What started out as an excuse for a bunch of guys in their '30s to hang out, drink, and play the occasional show, then becomes something of a going concern. Finn's lyrics, framed by Kubler's big riffs, created an unlikely breath of fresh air, a sense of celebration. Before long they're signed to Frenchkiss, the best name for a record label ever, and they release their first album - Almost Killed Me.

The album, in fact their career, opens with A Positive Jam, a song which tells the history of 20th Century America in 171 words. In the background, a lazy guitar struggles to wake up as the events are passed like road signs. It's their first song, on their first album, and after 90 seconds there's been a stock market crash, a World War, and 3 Kennedys are dead. The lyrical economy is remarkable, the way he deals with each decade precisely and definitively in one sentence. 

This is how he nails the '50s -

"We got shiftless in the '50s, holding hands and going steady, twisting into dark parts of the large Midwestern cities"

No need for the white picket fence trope, no need for Ike or Truman to co-star. Post war America perfectly reduced to "Holding hands and going steady". And then The Twist tells you the ‘60s are coming.  I got it straight away.

And this is how he nails the '70s -

"We woke up on bloody carpets, got tangled up in gas lines and I guess that's where it started"

He rhymed "carpets" with "started" and reduced the long term economic and political effects of the 1973 Oil Crisis to a line. What's not to like? I can still vividly remember my first listen now - the time, the place, and an album cover of blacked out faces. It was immediate. I was in.

And I didn't even know then what I know now, that he was providing context - that he was explicitly saying "We have shared history." Because at the end of the song, he brings us up to date, the guitar does wake up and the band kicks in. It's then that he tells us that he was bored so he started a band, it's then that he tells us that he wants to start it off with a positive jam.

The first time I heard Almost Killed Me I rewound the opening song again and again. I guess the "positive jam" that the song was trailing was The Swish, the second song on the album. But I couldn't get to it, I couldn't get past how good the opener was. I listened to it five times on the spin – by the time I was finished 15 Kennedys had died.

But then I did I get past it. I got to The Swish and my head fell off. Honestly, I stood there laughing, air riffing and dancing, in thrall to my new favourite band after just two songs. The bridge from A Positive Jam to The Swish is one of THE moments in music for me. It simultaneously comes out of nowhere yet evokes a memory. I made it through the rest of the album, breathless and giddy.

I'd never heard anything like it, despite having heard things like it.

Does that make sense? That bit really needs to make sense.

You know when The Sopranos came out and you thought "Jesus, not another story about Italian American Gangsters. Surely not THAT again." But then you watched it and saw that the characters were immersed in that culture as much as the viewer. They existed within their own context and couldn't move without referencing it.

And that was the difference. It was derivative but it was spun, from an angle so it wasn't head on.

That's The Hold Steady. That's Almost Killed Me.

It would be easy to say it's my favourite album of the 21st Century if only it didn't have to compete with what they did next - Separation Sunday, Boys and Girls in America and, finally, the hangover, Stay Positive. Finn had done it, with his friends they'd made one of the greatest runs of albums ever - an aggregate score of at least 36 out of 40.

At least.

Yes, there were comparisons to things you'd heard before, a familiarity, but for me it was almost entirely different. People screamed Springsteen, people screamed The E Street Band but I never really knew why. These weren't stories about open roads, about making love to the interstate. These were stories about the claustrophobia of community, about the kids in between - confined by drugs and religion. And you know what? Springsteen never swished through the city centre to do a couple of favours for some guys who looked like Tusken Raiders did he? No he didn't, he was probably driving somewhere.

The Hold Steady wore their influences on their sleeve but they spun them. They humoured them. They said "Tramps like us and we like Tramps" and told stories about people who looked like people -  people who looked like Rocco Siffredi, Elisabeth Shue, Izzy Stradlin, Alice Cooper, Mickey Mantle, and, of course, Tusken Raiders. They were doing that thing again - they were saying "We know you know. Because we have shared history"

But this analysis, my attempt at explanation, is nothing compared to the visceral triumph and joy of a Hold Steady show - the pleasure of watching this band that had been plucked from their own lives and were creating anew. I used to spend hours looking at the bass player, I'd never seen anyone work so hard whilst standing still - a man who started the night dry and ended it dripping in sweat and smiles.

And then there was Finn - the inbetweener, the most generous of front men. He was always so warm and inclusive to his audience, so glad that they're there with him. Yet he never forgets the band. Never. And for someone so wordy it's remarkable the gaps he leaves for them - the gaps for them to play and for him to admire. Often he’d be clapping, dancing, and having so much fun in admiration, that I’d worry he’d forget to join in again – that he’d forget that the moment after the gaps were his.

But he never did.

Fast forward to 2014 - to the Holiday Inn, in Brighton, a few hours after a Hold Steady show.

I'd probably had my back to him for about 10 minutes, having a night cap at the hotel bar and thinking about what had come before. But then I turned around and there he was - Craig Finn, sitting alone, a hero rather than a star. I decided to say hello and he gestured for me to sit down. We talked about The Last Waltz. I asked him if it was true, whether that's really how it started, and he said it was. We talked about the rest of the film, all those conversations, you know where they go - Joni Mitchell and all her chords; Van Morrison and that ridiculous high kick. And somewhere in the drink and The Last Waltz I lost the memory of the night, other than to say he was good company and he paid his way.

And if I met him now?

If I met him now, I'd probably get lost down another rabbit hole - about how we're the same age and how I wasn't picked first for the sports team either. I'd ask him how he feels now, at 44, about the start he gave himself at 33 - whether that still surprises him, whether it ever did. Whether he knows, REALLY knows, that for about four years The Hold Steady were the best band in the world. But more than that I'd tell him about how HE influenced, how HE inspired, about how Ruth and I always used to say this album club was about spinning familiar stories, about telling them from an angle rather than head on - just like The Hold Steady.

Because that's what we used to say. When we wanted to avoid nostalgia and reheating the past , we used to say it should be "JUST LIKE THE HOLD STEADY".

And before I lost another evening, and its fluid memory, I'd like to take the opportunity to thank him for that.

Martin Fitzgerald (2014)

[the-firebird69]

MASS MONSTERS EDITION - XXXL MUSCLE - HARDCORE GYM MOTIVATION

The Sun is going to be this big but he will be bulky meaning the arms will be larger the bones will be larger shoulders wider more like Marcus rule and he's a good example and that's why he's stuck to our son it sounds just someone new it's as if someone new and they're trying to see if they're related or something somehow and they are but it's by Mac and Max build is similar but not the same and he'd be the one to look at so I wonder what the hell they're doing and we found out that Marcus rule was doing stem cells and doping but it's all normal stuff A lot of it was from a bull run bull and our son's mom did that she gets big and it makes people Big and chunky so it's fine it's because of the analogy so we found out and he's big and he used to do it a lot they don't like him cuz he fights Max and used to help a lot of people the same with Dan AKA Dave's it's a size against and you've been trained forever there's accidents up here and nobody was killed during the filming of this massive accident. And that girl was kind of blame A little but still they're playing this question but he's going to look like this and by the time he goes up there it'll be different but this is what he'll be probably around August September and he says a little later and it's true but he'll be taller he's going to be pretty big probably like a regular bodybuilder by July August even in that room with him but he look like this guy but 64 and both are bigger bones and a bigger hands and slightly larger but in proportion like this just immense and it's going to be fine but it's good to think about it because when he goes up there to New York he's going to be probably on his way to Juggernaut size and we'll show you which one

Thor Freya

Olympus

Maybe we can figure out what year he was thinking three or four years and it's kind of telling me a little and I believe it it's not going to be tomorrow and we're not going to disappear tomorrow but we're taking some heavy casualties

Brad

Yeah just call me auntie it's not the person behind him was a girl and it's pretty big and he's huge he's like a bull and we are going to be that big so I'll be thinking of him he says thankfully and yeah I may have ripped the doors off and I'd say don't threaten me I can do stuff and you smiley cuz he knew he ripped them off never said anything so both not say anything it's like somebody ripped the damn doors off here I am the big guy he says well sometimes they threaten me cuz I'm big and they said laughing and said okay so they're looking around to find out you were there and like what happened so they may have done the accident because of it but it's really the max who orchestrated it and he found out about it and I said what in the hell do we have here I said cheap metal doors is what you have here I figured out there not so hard to pull off I looked and it wasn't really that tough so I didn't say anything.

Brad

Yeah I started the top part and he started talking it's going to be huge well obviously reminded of him because it's like a German but then he's going to be going upwards his face will fill out they said I mean 6 foot 4 to look kind of normal and he's still going to be young yeah that's good

Becka

Olympus

[opedguy]

Trump Hints at Running as Independent

LOS ANGELES (OnlineColumnist.com), Dec. 31, 2022.--Former President Donald Trump, 76, appears to recognize his dwindling chances of winning the Republican nomination in 2024, floating that idea of running as an independent.  Trump’s run as an independent would doom the GOP chances of defeating 80-year-old President Joe Biden who looks poised to run for a second term at 82.  Recent GOP polls show that the Party appears to have moved on from Trump who announced a third run for president Nov. 15.  GOP’s party establishment looks for a fresh face in 2024, believing, like former 52-year-old former House Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.), that Trump can’t win a national election.  Unlike the Trump-hating side of the Republican Party, Ryan thinks that Trump 25% base isn’t enough to carry him back to the White House.  Ryan has been coy about his future plans but could very well toss his hat into the ring in 2024.

Conservative writer Dan Gelemter, writing in the journal “American Greatness,” wrote about the “Coming Split,” seeing that Trump could be pushed out of GOP contention in 2024.  Gelemter backs Trump all the way in 2024 but sees the GOP moving away from the former president.  “ Do I think Turmp can win a third-party candidate? No,” wrote Gelemter.  “Would I voter for him as a third party candidate” Yes.  Because I’m not interested in propping up this corrupt [GOP] gravy-train any longer,” wrote Gelemter.  Trump’s run as an independent would take at least some portion of his 25% base away from the GOP nominee, handing the White House back to Democrats.  Another term of Biden could bean WW III or nuclear war in Europe, all because Democrats and GOP elected officials agree on fighting the Kremlin.  Only Trump has the guts to end the Ukraine War.

Four more years of Biden would mean four more years of perpetual warfare with the Russian Federation.  Biden shows no signs to ending his support for the Ukraine War, promising to pay Kiev’s government salaries and the war as long as it takes.  Delivering his New Years message tonight, Ukraine’s 44-yer-old President Volodymer Zelensky wished his national “victory” in the year ahead, saying nothing about peace talks with the Russian Federation.  As long a Biden is commander-in-chief, the Ukraine will continue to disrupt peace in Europe and the world economy.  Biden has, for whatever reason, trashed U.S.-Russian relations to subsidize a bankrupt Ukraine economy and fund a senseless war.  Demonizing 70-year-old Russian President Vladimir Putin doesn’t provide a justification for continuing a dangerous war which, any minute, could morph into WW III, possibly nuclear war.

Running as an independent, Trump would all but guarantee Biden four more years.  If the GOP picks a younger nominee like Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, Trump should do the right thing, withdraw his bid.  Why spend the money on a losing proposition but, more importantly, why lead his sheep-like followers over a cliff?  Taking the House of Representatives in the Midterm election was a monumental accomplishment for the GOP.  Whatever Trump did or didn’t do to help the GOP take the U.S. Senate, the party should stop blaming him for the Senate result.  Getting the House back was even a bigger feat than taking the Senate when you consider certain demographic trends since the 2018 Midterms and 2020 election favoring Democrats.  Running as an independent in 2024, Trump would be purely vindictive, retaliating for the GOP looking for a fresh face in 2024.

Gelemter thinks the GOP has given up on Trump running again in 2024, believing he can’t pull in independents and swing voters to win the White House.  “Republican machine has no intention of letting us choose Trump again.  He is not a uniparty team player.  They’d rather lose an election to the Democrats, their brothers in crime, then win with Trump,”said Gelemter, a hardcore Trump backer.  Republicans, like Sen. Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) are tired of Trump’s antics, but, more importantly, his criticism of GOP leaders.  McConnell agrees with Sen. Mitt Romney (R-Ut.) that the GOP needs to move on from Trump in 2034.  Whether Trump decides to retaliate against the GOP is anyone’s guess.  He could very well take a party elder role by endorsing whomever the party decides has the best shot of beating Biden.  Growing numbers of Republicans think Trump can’t beat Biden.

Trump’s sour grapes response to losing the 2020 election turned off a lot of GOP party officials, knowing that there was no evidence of widespread voter fraud.  Unlike Trump’s Democrats and GOP critics, Trump is entitled, no matter how farfetched, to his eccentric views of the 2020 election.  Democrats call his election denial the “Big Lie,” but really it’s his right to think whatever he wants about the 2020 election.  Democrats criminalized Trump views of the 2020 election.  But no matter how much they’ve demonized the former president, the Jan. 6 House Committee didn’t prove their case that Trump in any way planned, orchestrated or conspired with any groups or individuals that committed crimes on Jan. 6, 2021.  All the Committee showed was extreme partisanship and bias, trying to frame Trump for something he didn’t do.  When it comes to 2024, Trump should take the GOP’s preference so seriously.

About the Author  

John M. Curtis writes politically neutral commentary analyzing spin in national and global news. He’s editor of OnlineColumnist.com and author of Dodging The Bullet and Operation Charisma.

[dooandpoo]

Boo’s clown thoughts about Dan

I just re-watched the Heartthrob video from 2018. I have listened to Dan and Phil playing Heartthrob in 2021. I have watched compilations of Dan and Phil’s liveshows and ✨ gay moments ✨ throughout the years. I am officially qualified to make reaching assumptions about Dan’s psyche, and his taste in men 💅. (I am a clown.)

Dan hides many of his feelings under sarcasm. This essay is predicated on a combination of assuming many of his jokes are actually his real feelings, and also taking into account things he has said with sincerity.

First, he wants to fix people. His whole perspective of Bobby changes when the card “never been kissed” is added — Dan gets all soft and literally says “that’s a game changer”. Phil thinks the same, suggests that everything else of Bobby is bravado, to which Dan heartily agrees. Dan loves himself some 💪 meaty men 💪, but gravitates more to the men that seem soft or personable. “Never been kissed” is a big deal for a cool sexy rich guy in high school, and Dan just knows that he could take care of him. It brings Bobby back down to earth, makes him feel real, makes him someone that Dan could relate to. Dan is obsessed with cleaning, takes forever to plan things, gets worked up when things aren’t perfect, must be in control. But he’s drawn to the imperfect, knows that he can do something with it. Someone that’s already perfect isn’t interesting to Dan. But Bobby, who’s rich and sexy but never been kissed? That’s interesting to Dan, that’s someone he can work with.

Dan is a gold-digger 💷💰 (let me explain). Even before the kissing detail is learned about Bobby, Dan chose him to go to the party with just because he’s rich, because his house would be cool, and Dan could pretend to like him for a night of luxury. Dan is a minimalist, he enjoys things to be simple in his life (as stated in the pizza mukbang video), but he loves opulence .... but not for himself. This is fascinating — Dan doesn’t parade his current wealth around, actively works against it. But. He wants to go to a party at a fancy house with a pool, hang off the arm of some cool guy. He wants to have a “team of stylists” for red carpet events to choose his outfits and dress him up all pretty for the world to see. He loves his fancy trips to beautiful places. He gives his Sims elegant and gaudy accessories and furnishings, splurging in a way he never would in real life. This boy loves him some extravagance and attention, wants to parade around looking like a snack, even though most of the time he prefers being low-key.

Dan loves cultivating a specific image for himself. He spent much of his teenage and young adult life trying to fit in, making sure his hair is perfect, making sure his photos are from the perfect MySpace angle, not being “gay”. His Instagram is a wall of black, broken up by only a few things. This is partially because he doesn’t like choice, can’t commit to things when it’s his decision. He can’t choose something “wrong”. See the mukbang video where Phil suggests just picking different clothes from along the line in his closet, and Dan says “that’s how you get ensembles that look like this” indicating Phil’s absurd get-up. Dan can’t imagine just throwing things on willy-nilly, he must present a completely unified vision of himself to the world. In the Attitude shoot, he was devastated that he couldn’t wear the cool boots, that his hair was too long. He secretly wished that it was a nude or horny photoshoot, joking about this during their first Stereo, because he wants to be noticed in that way. He wants to be seen as sexy and cool, he loves it. He wants positive attention. His mid-2020 thirst post on Instagram is a perfect example of this, playing it off as silly when he clearly was really into it. He does this with most of his photos, needing to look a certain way so that the world sees him as cool and sexy even when he’s masking it behind sarcasm. He knows he’s cute, and flaunts it, even though “flaunting it” means he has to be in control of everything all the time.

Let’s go back to the 2018 Heartthrob. One of the boys’ personality traits is revealed to be “can’t wait to have kids”, and Dan is not having it. 🙅‍♂️ Now, Dan would describe that as his fear of commitment. But let’s look closer. Earlier that year, Dan and Phil met Louise’s newborn baby. Both boys go completely gooey the entire time, entranced by her. Dan gets this look in his eye when he hands Pearl to Phil. He watches Phil closely to make sure he’s holding her correctly, hovers and touches her, needing to protect and feel the inherent trust of a baby. He and Phil keep smiling, and then Dan — out of the blue — gets a far away look and comments that there will be phanfiction of him and Phil adopting a baby. Dan was thinking about having a baby with Phil. But he’s scared, because even though Dan would take care of his baby so well, he’d probably worry his ass off making sure the baby has everything. It’s not just the fear of commitment, it’s that he can’t trust himself to do it “correctly”. Even though he’s been with Phil for years, I think Dan second-guesses himself constantly. A baby, or even a dog, for that matter, would send his anxiety into overdrive, because he can’t be in complete control (even though he’d be the best dad and partner ever).

Time to think about thot Dan. In the end, Dan is horny. He visibly reacts to each of the Heartthrob boys that have their “guns out”, and doesn’t easily deny that he’s interested in Bobby for his arms. And Phil knows that. When Dan asks Phil why he thinks Dan chose Bobby ... Phil stalls. Phil does his best to justify his guess that Dan likes Bobby because of his random personality traits, because Dan would like being driven around in a nice car and to ask Bobby about his dream of being a secret agent, but Phil clearly thought Dan would choose Bobby because he knows Dan loves the meaty lads. Phil knows Dan well enough to know that this boy loves him some skin and some muscle showing. (Hmm, interesting that Dan likes his boys meaty 👀, and frequently refers to Phil as such, even at the beginning of this very Heartthrob video …. hmmmm ... says he’d like to receive a lapdance 💋 from Phil “for the spectacle” .... hmmmmmmmmm.)

Back to “commitment” 💍 issues. During a liveshow from the early danisnotonfire days, Dan is asked for relationship advice. Here, he is surprisingly honest and serious. He says to not stay in a relationship where you’re not happy. It seems simple, but Dan really digs deep here. Dan says that if you’re not going to marry a person, don’t stay with them for even a day longer. Dan said that. Dan is scared of trusting others, he is constantly sarcastic and talks about himself disparagingly, but he is self-aware enough to know that he wants commitment. He wants someone to love him forever, to be by his side. That’s why he says there’s no point in remaining in a relationship if you and the other person can’t see yourself together in 50 years. And Dan had been with Phil (in whatever way that means for them) for a few years at that point, completely comfortable with each other. They were already making huge decisions together, like living together and moving to London and starting a radio show and considering moving to New York together. Dan had committed to Phil at this point, knew that he could see himself still with Phil in 50 years. And Phil had committed to Dan, regardless of if Dan felt sure of that or not.

Even earlier than that, Dan had told a fan on formspring that he loves sleeping in the same bed as other people, not even in a sexual way. He loves human contact, sharing space 😌. We know this because he’s so open to hugs with his fans, wants people around to make him feel safe (by people I mean Phil), and is so exasperated by quarantine because he needs more touch and contact. (Tangent — Phil also loves physical touch, as stated in an old liveshow when he said he prefers cuddles to kisses, and is very handsy 👐 with Dan.)

This doesn’t end in physical touch though. He needs other people around. He wants a companion through life. He misses Phil when he’s gone because he’s scared of the house being empty, because Phil makes him feel safe. He wants another person in his bed because it feels nice to be with someone, knowing they’re there. He wants to have someone to work with, to connect with, to make music with, to share moments with. And now this boy has all of that. He has for the last ten-odd years. But this is scary. Dan isolated himself growing up, built barriers between himself and everybody else. He needs to be control of the situation at all times, embarrassed when he’s not. Dan uses self-deprecating language constantly, complains about his inability to connect with people. But he has Phil. Every day they’re together, I think Dan accepts just a little more that he can deserve happiness, that he won’t lose Phil, that Phil is not temporary. Phil shows him that he is worthy of affection, physical and otherwise, that Dan is allowed to reach out and it’s safe to do so. Dan doesn’t have to be alone anymore, he can reach out and Phil is there.

These nonsense ramblings are just to say that Dan has the perfect life partner in Phil. Phil balances him out, lets Dan be himself loudly and quietly, jokes when Dan is too serious. Phil will never leave him, proving that every day, making plans with Dan in mind. Phil is confident and self-assured where Dan is not. They ease each other’s anxieties, approach their fame in similar ways. They genuinely enjoy being together, not just in their personal life, but professionally as well. They are a perfect match, soulmates. 💕

[dnps-trashcan]

If you find me funny/like my posts please message me and talk to me I’d be too scared to do it myself but I’m very open to making friends :)

[kae-karo]

i just saw christopher robin and like. dan’s gonna fricken love it.

[90363462]

Search Opener

MUSIC

CULTURE

VIDEO

MAGAZINE

EVENTS

SHOP

SUBSCRIBE

NINE INCH NAILS' 'THE DOWNWARD SPIRAL': 8 THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW

Nine Inch Nails' Trent Reznor, 1994

photograph by Tim Mosenfelder/Getty Images

text DAN EPSTEIN

March 8, 2019 

On March 8th, 1994, Nine Inch Nails released The Downward Spiral, a landmark not just for Trent Reznor's career, but for hard, electronic-oriented music in general. Featuring harrowing and uncompromising tracks like "Mr. Self Destruct," "March of the Pigs," "Hurt" and "Closer," which managed the difficult feat of being addictively catchy while also being unbearably intense, the densely layered record has sold almost 4 million copies in the U.S. alone, and influenced just about every dark and edgy metal, hardcore and/or electronic act that came after it.

In 1992, NIN's heavily distorted Broken EP had signaled Reznor's move away from the clean and commercial sounds of 1989's Pretty Hate Machine; now, nearly two years later, it was clear that Reznor's artistic vision had evolved even further. "This time I wanted to make an album that went in 10 different directions, but was all united somehow," he told Guitar World in 1994. "I didn't want to box Nine Inch Nails into a corner, where everything would be faster and harder than the last record ... On this record, I was more concerned with mood, texture, restraint and subtlety, rather than getting punched in the face 400 times."

Most of the album was infamously written and recorded at Le Pig, Reznor's home studio at 10050 Cielo Drive in Beverly Hills, the same address where actress Sharon Tate, her unborn child, and four other people were murdered by followers of Charles Manson. Reznor has insisted many times that he had rented the property before learning of its history. "The reason I was there is because it's a cool, nice house on this beautiful green mountainside that overlooks the whole city from the ocean to the downtown," he told Kerrang! in 1994. "It's really quiet and secluded, yet it's also five minutes from the Whisky …"

"If there was any sort of vibe then it was one of quiet, maybe sadness. But the nice thing about the house, which I feel had nothing to do with what happened there, was that I wouldn't leave it for weeks. The house was on its own, gated in, and once I realized I hated L.A., there was never any reason to leave. That perhaps added to the isolation and claustrophobia of the record."

Here are eight things you might not know about the album.

1. The album was significantly influenced by David Bowie

Recorded at a time when much of the rock world was looking back to Seventies punk and heavy rock for inspiration, Trent Reznor used David Bowie's moody and atmospheric 1977 masterpiece Low as a guiding light for The Downward Spiral. "I got into Bowie in the Scary Monsters era, then I picked up Low and instantly fell for it," he told Kerrang! "I related to it on a song-writing level, a mood level, and on a song-structure level … I like working within the framework of accessibility, and songs, of course, but I also like things that are more experimental and instrumental, maybe. You may still be expressing extreme emotions, but instead of loud guitars it's the silence of restraint. When you think it's going to explode and it doesn't, it's over."

2. Most of Trent Reznor’s vocal and guitar parts were recorded spontaneously

Despite Reznor's reputation for perfectionism, and the fact that it took a year and a half to complete The Downward Spiral, most of his own vocal and guitar contributions to the album were recorded in a fairly off-the-cuff manner. "The music just flows out of Trent like no one else I've ever known," longtime NIN engineer and mixer Sean Beavan told Sound on Sound in 2012. "As with any great artist, there's a lot of procrastination, but while he's playing [video] games, his brain is still working and at any moment he could come up with something fantastic."

Beavan recalled that he and the other engineers working on the album always had been on their toes, in case Reznor suddenly felt a creative urge. "You had to make sure that one or two mics were always available for him to sing at any given moment," he said. "You captured the moment with him. It might seem that there wasn't a lot of thought behind what he was doing, yet he'd obviously been thinking about it for a long, long time and he would lay down maybe three tracks of the vocal without ever repeating himself. He'd always ad-lib stuff, and after you picked one of the takes he would never allow you to punch in anything less than an entire verse … To his way of thinking, whereas the rhythm should be perfect, the emotion should come from the voice and the guitar. So those things were largely performed in a single take."

3. “Piggy” may have been about former NIN guitarist Richard Patrick

The fact that The Downward Spiral was recorded at the same house were Sharon Tate and her friends were murdered by followers of Charles Manson led many listeners to believe that the lyrics to several of the album's songs were written in reference to the killings. The word "Pig" had been written in blood on the door of the house by one of the killers, so therefore the song "Piggy" — with its chorus of "Nothing can stop me now" — was widely interpreted as being about a mass murderer and his "family." However, former NIN guitarist Richard Patrick (later of Filter) believes the song was actually about the dissolution of his friendship with Reznor.

"When a guy writes a song called 'Piggy' about you, there's obviously tension or some leftover shit," Patrick, who left NIN in 1993 during the recording of The Downward Spiral, told the Sacramento Bee in 2010. "My nickname was Piggy. He's writing songs about me … you know, I wish it hadn't been so complicated and so weird. I wish it would have been a little more fun. Maybe one of these days we'll talk and it'll be OK, but it doesn't feel like it's a friendship, that's for sure."

4. “Ruiner” was Reznor’s least favorite song on the album

With its slamming industrial beats and glitched-out layers of sound, "Ruiner" is one of The Downward Spiral's most compelling tracks. But Reznor admitted to Guitar World in 1994 that he wasn't satisfied with how it came out. "There's always one song per record where you work and work and work, and it just takes a hell of a long time for the song to come together," he explained. "Then you get into the trap of saying, 'Well, I spent so much time on this, it's gotta be good. I've gotta make it work.' It's usually one part that's fucking the whole thing up. And that's usually the part that you think is really great. You'll hear a million playbacks of the song and say, "Man, that part is so fucking cool. Why is the song not happening?' Then finally someone hits the mute button for that part and the song's good. And you realize, 'Oh fuck, it's that part I love so much.'

"So on this record, 'Ruiner' was the hardest song to write. I still don't know if I got it right. I have such a bad vibe from that song now — from it sucking in so many different ways."

5. Reznor was originally unsure about keeping “Closer”’s most famous line

The infamous howl of "I want to fuck you like an animal!" has made "Closer" a favorite of strippers — and the bane of conservative pundits — for a quarter of a century. So it's kind of surprising to learn that Reznor originally had severe misgivings about including the line in the song. "Trent was actually worried that 'I wanna fuck you like an animal' sounded too trite, even though it was the thing that everyone would relate to," Beavan told Sound on Sound. "He was always so concerned about making 'real art' that he'd wrestle with the people-friendly aspects. Still, he obviously reconciled himself to that line, because we kept it."

6. “Big Man With a Gun” includes an audio sample of live-in-the-studio girl-on-girl sex

The Downward Spiral contains a variety of non-musical samples, including audio snippets from the films Texas Chainsaw Massacre, THX-1138 and Robot Jox. "Big Man With a Gun" also includes a sample that's credited to Tommy Lee, though it had nothing to do with Lee's work with Mötley Crüe.

In Tommyland, his 2004 autobiography, Lee recalled bringing several porn stars (including a woman with a well-earned reputation as a "squirter") to A&M Studios — where Reznor was working at the time — as a "birthday present" for NIN bassist Danny Lohner. "I bring the girls across the hall into the Nine Inch Nails studio," Lee recalled, "lay them out on Trent's grand piano, say, 'Dudes, set up the mikes, get some grapes, roll the tape and have a seat. You're not gonna believe this.' The girls take the grapes and stick them in the squirter's pussy only to suck them out and stick more in."

Said "squirter"'s moans of pleasure were picked up by the studio mics, and subsequently appended to the beginning of "Big Man With a Gun." "They reversed it and fucked with the tone of it," Lee explained. "But if you listen closely you can hear her."

7. Reznor didn’t think the album had any commercial potential

It's not uncommon for recording artists to lose perspective on their work, especially after months and months in the studio. When Reznor finally delivered the completed version of The Downward Spiral to Interscope Records in late 1993, he was happy with the finished product — but also completely convinced that it was entirely devoid of hit potential.

"When I handed the record into Interscope, I recall apologizing to them because I thought it had no commercial, 'single' potential," he told Alternative Press in 2004. "I loved the record, but I felt sorry for them having to try and sell it. As soon as [lnterscope president] Jimmy Iovine heard 'Closer,' he said it was a hit. That's when I knew he was crazy, and it goes to show what I know."

Indeed. Not only did the album reach No. 2 on the Billboard 200 — it was only kept off the top spot by Soundgarden's Superunknown, which had been released the same day — and go on to reach quadruple platinum status in the U.S., but "Closer" became a genuine radio hit (albeit in a censored version) in the U.S., U.K., Canada and Australia.

8. Reznor was initially weirded out by Johnny Cash’s cover of “Hurt”

Country legend Johnny Cash's Rick Rubin–produced 2002 album American IV: The Man Comes Around featured new interpretations of country classics mixed with some stunning reworkings of contemporary material — the most stunning being Cash's moving cover of "Hurt," which received considerable airplay on both country and alternative radio stations, and earned the Country Music Association's coveted "Single of the Year" award in 2003. Though Reznor gave Rubin his blessing to have Cash cover "Hurt," he recalled to Alternative Press that "the idea sounded a bit gimmicky to me," and that Cash's interpretation of his song initially  "sounded … weird to me."

"That song in particular was straight from my soul, and it felt very strange hearing the highly identifiable voice of Johnny Cash singing it. It was a good version, and I certainly wasn't cringing or anything, but it felt like I was watching my girlfriend fuck somebody else," he said. It wasn't until he saw Mark Romanek's video for Cash's version that everything clicked for him.

"I pop the video in, and ... wow. Tears welling, silence, goose-bumps ... Wow. I just lost my girlfriend, because that song isn't mine anymore. Then it all made sense to me. It really made me think about how powerful music is as a medium and art form. I wrote some words and music in my bedroom as a way of staying sane, about a bleak and desperate place I was in, totally isolated and alone. Some-fucking-how that winds up reinterpreted by a music legend from a radically different era/genre and still retains sincerity and meaning — different, but every bit as pure. Things felt even stranger when he passed away. The song's purpose shifted again. It's incredibly flattering as a writer to have your song chosen by someone who's a great writer and a great artist."

Nine Inch NailsTrent Reznor

Never miss a story.

Get the latest from Revolver straight to your inbox.

Email *

RELATED

Elon Musk Calls Trent Reznor a "Crybaby"...

See Flyleaf Cover NIN on 2006 Family...

11 Greatest EPs in Heavy-Music History

Sent from my iPhone

[watching-pictures-move]

Put On Your Raincoats | Educating Nina (Anderson, 1984)

Educating Nina is notable for two reasons. One, it represents the feature debut of Nina Hartley, one of the true legends of the business, all the more remarkable because she managed to stick around for over three decades and seems like a well adjusted person to boot. Much respect. (I used "feature" debut because she has a Swedish Erotica short listed on her IMDb from a few years prior, but everywhere else I've seen this cited as her debut. When in doubt, hedge your bets.) People of my generation are most likely familiar with her as a more mature figure, having aged like fine wine, but time works both ways and like many of us, she too was young once as she is here. Two, it's one of the few directorial efforts of Juliet Anderson, who started in skin flicks and the like in the '60s and entered hardcore pornography in the late '70s, also staking out a name for herself in mature roles, and left the business after some bad business dealings related to this movie. (I'm a fan of her supporting performances in Taboo, Taboo II and Purely Physical.) In that sense it represents a passing of the MILF torch, from one of the OGs to one of the GOATs, a dynamic made explicit in the final sex scene where Hartley excitedly takes notes while Anderson and her friend Lili Marlene go to work on Dan T. Mann. (Apologies for the jargon, but it's important to be technical when discussing these things.)

As for why Hartley was taking notes, that goes back to the premise, where Hartley is a student doing her Master's thesis on the "positive effects of sexual fantasies", which she plans to study by getting her friends to re-enact the sexual fantasies of her subjects and making porno tapes out of the experiments. (In the scene where she recruits her friends, she wears a "Cat Lover" t-shirt and pets a cat, which is very important to note.) Now, I didn't do a Master's degree, but her academic rigour reminds me of the time I used a high school project about Canadian culture as an excuse to watch Strange Brew. (For research, you see.) But what this means for the movie is that we get a series of brief interviews in between sex scenes with a variety of scenarios depicted.

There's one where Aaron Stuart has breakfast in bed while his wife Karen Summer gets it on with their maid Nina Hartley (who shows up in a cute maid outfit, which is very important to note). Stuart eating breakfast is an important part of the fantasy apparently, so we get lots of close ups of him chewing on his toast and reading the paper while more interesting things are happening nearby. (1984 was an election year, so it's understandable the news had his attention.) And then there's Billy Dee as a male stripper in an impossibly sparkly outfit, showing off his dance moves until he invites Hartley to the stage to get it on. This is probably the most fun scene in the movie, as it feels the most dynamic in conception and lets Hartley put her experience in stage shows to use. And you can't argue with Billy Dee's dance moves. The next interview raises some concerns. The subject starts describing a fantasy that...I'm not going to judge, but imagine if you go to a fancy steakhouse and only have the bread. Guy, Nina Hartley is making you a complimentary personalized porno, use your imagination.

Thankfully, the scene that proceeds is nothing like what he was describing, and has Stuart spying on his wife Lili Marlene while she has a threesome with Mike Horner and Nick Niter (who strongly resembles Barry Gibb from the Bee Gees). Surprisingly, he seems pretty cool with it, conceding it's a fair price to pay to keep their marriage as strong as it is. (The guys are from a lawn care business called "Loving Hands", which seems a bit on the nose.) Then there's a scene where Dan T. Mann gets propositioned by Karen Summer, who compliments his posterior (he wears frighteningly short short-shorts) and takes him to a gym locker room to get it on. Mann returns in the final sex scene, playing a guy who's beating off to a layout of Juliet Anderson in a porno magazine while calling her for phone sex, and then through some miracle, she appears in his room with Lili Marlene for a threesome. During these years, I understand that if you wanted to rent one of John Cassavetes' movies to show somewhere, for a pretty reasonable fee, you could go up to his house to pick up the movie and get to meet him and Gena Rowlands. The scenario depicted here seems like a similarly good deal. (The end credits feature an ad for her phone sex line. I'm going to assume the number is no longer in service.) And then the movie ends with everybody saying they learned something from the proceedings, and Hartley announcing that her thesis went great and she plans to continue these explorations. (I assume she's doing a PhD.)

On one hand, the premise is clearly an excuse to string together a series of sex scenes with some nominal variety, but I did find it interesting the way it foregrounded the way the genre serves as a vehicle for fantasy. In that sense, it might pair nicely with Little Showoffs from the same year, which has a similar structure of interviews punctuating sex scenes, but I think it's quite a bit better as it interrogates that relationship a bit more thoroughly and is executed with a great deal more style. (In that movie, I detected a slight and not unwelcome twang in Lili Marlene's voice. Alas, that twang is absent here, thanks to her precise diction.) That movie had the benefit of being a presumably reasonably-budgeted film production, while this is a crude shot-on-video affair, replete with lo-fi title text and fairly static camerawork, with the odd zoom or pivot punctuating the extremely basic shot setups. (There isn't much of the fluidity or aggressive fourth-wall-breaking you see in some of the early gonzo efforts a few years later.)

That being said, I had a good time with this as the atmosphere is consistently pleasant. The cast is quite appealing and fun to hang out with, and while this is very much targeted towards a straight male audience, the movie does seem appreciative of the male cast, with hints of female gaze appearing in in scenes with Dee, Horner, Niter and Mann, which helps alleviate the tawdriness that might result bargain basement production values. As hokey as it is, the bit at the end about everybody learning a lesson does add to the good vibes here. And as for Hartley, while you can't credit this movie with the entirety of her success, it does seem like a pretty good showcase for her talents (even if it moves her to an observational role after the first few sex scenes, but I suppose she needs to learn by both seeing and doing to do her thesis). And most importantly, during the interview scenes she wears sweaters and scarves in consistently interesting colours as well as a gigantic pair of glasses that appealingly frame her deep blue eyes. The ideal version of this movie would have consisted entirely of these scenes, or at least had her in these glasses for the entire runtime, but alas, they don't make these movies for just me.

[hustlerose]

idk how to really put it into words but dan carlin (the hardcore history podcast guy) seems to discuss history in a fundamentally right wing way. its just a lot of subtle things that add up. the way he talks about race sometimes, the way he focuses on military tech and strategy, the way he privileges america and americans, the fact that he basically never talks about women. it's kinda depressing that this is many ppl's introduction 2 the idea that you can teach history in terms of narrative and characters and things ppl can relate to. i dont like it

nobody tell the redditors im hating on their favorite podcast because of bad vibes, but it's bad vibes

[bisluthq]

Yeah most of hardcore gaylors want her to date a woman because then all those songs would be about a woman, they don't want to date her they want her to relatable and 'just like them' her being heartbroken and devastated about so called kaylor is like a doomed tragic love story for them, to them she's depressed and sad and closeted with no other thought in her head, we just love to see the biphobia within the community

Yeah I’d say very few hard Gaylors want to date her. A lot of Bilors/Bisluts do lol but also like… it’s so easy to self-insert into Joe. He’s like endlessly self-inserttable into, especially if you’re someone who likes to write and be online? And like him being hot but not too hot makes it… easier to do the self-insert hence I think so many of us love him? I’d have struggled to do the self-insert with Calvin because it’d make me have body issues (more of them lol and there are so many). Like we love that he’s not always photogenic and that he’s shy about his smile and that he clearly has Issues™️ like those things make us feel like the only thing standing between us and Taylor Swift is a dick and like obvi people who thirst on her love that???

And I pick My Bois™️ very rarely but Joe is one of mine now. Jury’s still out on Jack because I don’t like what he makes me feel but Nic, Dan K and Joe are marked safe from unstanning unless they like r*pe someone and I hope they never will.