#i refuse to update the app under any circumstances

[whom-the-bell-tolls]

[qyunii]

Art Commission Terms of Service

       If you’re interested in hiring me for a private commission, I highly encourage you to read and accept my Terms of Service. This ensures both you, the client, and I, the artist, have a smooth and easy experience. You don't have to read it now, but I definitely recommend skimming over it to get the general gist of it. A lot of what’s below the basic rules is for more professional transactions and does not require most clients to read/memorize (other than the Rush Fee and Refunds section). Thank you for reading my ToS!

For art inquiries, email my commission email (qyuniicomms@gmail.com), or message me on any of my social media platforms located on my linktree!

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Links are also located at the bottom of the page to my social media directly! :3

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【BASIC RULES¹】

1) Payment must be sent through Cashapp and/or PayPal.

       These are the only two digital pay apps I will use, as they are the safest for you and I. I will not use any other apps for payment.

NOTE FOR PAYPAL USERS OUTSIDE OF THE US - If commissioning from Canada, there will be a 3.5% upcharge on commission payment to cover the conversion rate cost, and anyone else outside of the US and Canada will be charged an additional 4% to cover the costs. This will be rounded up to the nearest dollar in the case of uneven change.

(Ex: $75+3.5%=$77.625, this would be rounded up to $78USD.)

2) All transactions $50 USD and below must be paid in full, and there is no refunds for art in the 'basic shading/depth' stage and above.

       This is to avoid any work being wasted, and to avoid scandals/fraud. For works that cost $50+ USD, a payment plan can be discussed, but for anything $50 USD or less I require payment up front. Please read my full TOS below for rules on refunds. (See Term 9, Sect. 3)

3) Full references are required, or else it will be counted as a 'custom design'.

       Custom design commissions cost more due to extra labor on my part to figure out the details, and working back and forth with you to get your commission perfected. With this, I will need proper references unless you're willing to pay the extra cost! References should preferably not be pixel art (small sprite) since it's hard to figure out details on such a small scale.

Will draw:

• Humans/Humanoids

• Furry/Anthro

• Robots/Cyborgs

• Complex Armor

• Monsters/Inhuman creatures

• Animals (to an extent; ask to see if I can draw what you're looking for!)

• Gore (mild injury, some major gore)

• Girls/Fem presenting Humanoid characters only

• NSFW/18+/🔞

• Artistic nudity

Will NOT draw:

• Men/Masc presenting Humanoids 

• Anything offensive (racism, homophobia, transphobia, xenophobia, incest, pedophilia, ETC.)

• Certain Media/Fan content/ETC (There is plenty of media out there that I am not a fan of/do not like, and I will refuse any commissions that fall under said media, because they typically break the rules I have stated already. If you have any questions about a certain fan base that I will not draw, feel free to ask!)

• Heavy/Realistic gore

       If there are any questions you may have or you want to discuss anything, always feel free to contact me, and I will get back to you as soon as possible. If you have gotten through this whole page, I really do appreciate it, and thank you for your patience.

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【TERMS OF SERVICE²】

Last updated - November 11th, 2024

Subject to change without notice

• By purchasing my services (art/digital artwork), you automatically agree to the following terms and conditions, as well as my rules, all of which are public and readily available in this document.

• Please read the full document entirely and carefully, as any disagreement on terms will result in a cancelation/refusal of my services.

• If you are not comfortable with my Terms and Conditions/TOS (terms of service) and/or not willing to agree to/follow the TOS, then you may not request a commission.

IMPORTANT

• Clients are not permitted under any circumstances to use any part of commissioned work from qyunii/qy.unii/unihornii/qy_unii such as images, goods, and copies of goods in any block-chain related technology including non fungible tokens (NFT), cryptocurrency, or future inventions in the space. Using any commissioned work is also strictly prohibited from use in any advertising or profits associated with block-chain related technology including non fungible tokens (NFT), cryptocurrency, or future inventions in the space.

• Any aspect of work by qyunii/qy.unii/unihornii/qy_unii may not be used to train, validate, or test any neural network or artificial intelligence. Doing so is in violation of terms against alteration and external non private use of assets created for patrons.

【USER AGREEMENT³】

       By commissioning me, you agree that you have read and accepted all the terms described and stated herein. You will agree here to the policy of using art for personal, non-profit purposes and usage, unless stated/discussed otherwise, and provide all image credits to me (preferably with a link to my page stated somewhere easily accessible). Violators will be added to a blacklist indefinitely and without warning with any additional appropriate actions taken.

【CLIENT⁴】

• You, the client, will be expected to read my TOS first and understand my general Commission Prices.

• You may not upload or host my artwork in any gallery that is intended to display your own work only.

• You may not claim my work as your own.

• Please only upload the smaller watermarked file publicly unless otherwise discussed.

• You may use the artwork for personal use, including but not limited to: Avatars, phone or computer wallpapers, and personal website/profile displays.

• You reserve the right to print or create an otherwise physical reproduction of the Artwork as long as it is for your PERSONAL use only (ie. NOT for sale).

• You may not use the artwork for redistribution or external projects, commercial or non-commercial (i.e. t-shirts, mugs, public flyers, etc.) unless otherwise discussed.

• In the case of an adoptable, you retain the rights to the character design.

• You are NOT authorized to change, modify, edit, or use my works without my permission.

• You are NOT authorized to trace over my artwork in any way, including the use of the artwork as a “base.”

• Any harassment in an attempt to bargain for a commission (a ‘slot’) is not tolerated. This includes inappropriately worded comments on any of my social platforms, as well as private messages. I reserve the right to place anyone on a blacklist over harassment.

• Clients who have commissioned and/or received work before this TOS has gone into effect are still bound to its contents.

• These clients are permitted to include signatures and/or watermarks indicating that the artwork is my intellectual property. Credit in some form is required.

• You are entitled to see updates (w.i.p./Work in Progress) on your commission if you ask if any have been made since the last update.

• By placing an order, you agree to these terms and conditions. Please read these terms carefully.

【ARTIST⁵】

• By commissioning me, you are purchasing my service as an artist only.

• I reserve the right to post your finished artwork in my gallery for any reason unless discussed and agreed otherwise beforehand. Anonymity can also be requested by you if you allow for the artwork to be posted.

• I reserve the right to decline any project or client for any reason.

• I reserve the right to refund you the full amount paid (including any upcharges added due to to conversion rates or custom design charges) if I no longer wish to work on your project for any reason.

• When you pay me, in the case that I do not deliver a piece, I am entitled to give you a full refund.

I will NOT create any artwork related to/containing the following:

• Anything considered offensive/bigoted (homophobia, racism, incest, pedophilia, etc.), realistic/heavy gore, certain media/fandoms.

【COMMERCIAL USE AGREEMENT⁶】

• If you, the Client, wish to order a commission for Commercial use, the total price of the commission, as well as any other royalties, will be agreed upon upfront.

• The minimum price increase is 100% of the original price, meaning double the end sum. However, I reserve the right to charge more if I deem fit.

• The following cases are considered commercial use: Reproducing and selling the artwork, publicly or privately, cases where you receive profit from a medium/platform where you have posted my artwork, (eg. Patreon, YouTube, Twitch, a personal site, business cards etc).

TIER CONTENTS % INCREASE

TIER 1 - TWITCH/YOUTUBE/TWITTER PROMOTION - 100%

TIER 2 - PATREON CONTENT/BUSINESSCARDS/ PERSONAL SITE - 200%

TIER 3 - REPRODUCING/SELLING/MERCH - 300% + DISCUSSED % OF SALES (royalties and/or bonuses)

【COPYRIGHT⁷】

• I reserve the right to sign and/or watermark my own work. I will send you a full resolution image (by email or via google docs), but my signature will remain on both the full resolution and smaller versions of the Artwork.

• You are responsible for protecting your ownership over rights to a character design made by me by creating a copy image with your name added as well (ie. through a watermark) when uploading on external sites.

• I retain all copyright over my work, which includes the right to redistribute, reproduce, or use the image as a sample for sales or self-promotion unless otherwise agreed upon. In the case of a Public Commission, I may do whatever I wish with the art (eg. post it to other sites such as Instagram) but will give proper credit to you for ownership of the character’s design.

• In the case of a commission, I will not claim the rights to a character design unless it was one of my own designs. Therefore I will not reuse/resell the Artwork for personal or commercial projects unless agreed upon.

• In the case of an adoptable design, I will not reuse/resell the rights to the design once ownership is transferred to you, the Client.

【NDA - PRIVACY REQUEST⁸】

• If you wish for your request to be private, it must be stated during the ordering process.

• I reserve the right to charge a fee if I deem fit.

• The privacy request entails that I am not allowed to share any WIPs on social media, nor am I allowed to stream the process of the commission anywhere.

• However, this also means that you must refrain from sharing any such spoilers and details yourself.

• This is especially important to consider if you are an Vtuber and want me to keep assets private until your debut.

• If applicable, an NDA fee usually starts at +5% of the total quote, but it might differ. The bigger the project the bigger the fee.

【COMMISSIONS⁹】

ORDERING

• You are expected to have read and understood my rules and spoken with me to confirm the piece you’re looking to purchase has been accepted.

• Your commission slot is only confirmed/reserved once you receive a reply from me discussing the details (as needed).

• I reserve the right to make small changes to your request (ex: due to artistic style) as I see fit unless otherwise discussed. To guarantee the total accuracy of your commission request, please make note of the required details and elements in the form.

• If your commission is highly detailed in any aspect, I have the right to charge a fee to include these details. This fee will be stated before the transaction, and you hold the right to make changes to your commission request (eg. change a character, agree to simplified design changes) before the transaction is complete.

NOTE - There are certain extra charges depending on the changes made after the line art stage unless it is an error on my side, such as I forgot a design aspect.

• Please make your request concisely worded with minimal abbreviations, so as to make the note clear to read. Feel free to provide images as needed.

• Any emails, private messages, and comments that you send must be in English, as I am monolingual (sorry!!). Miscommunication due to mistranslation is at fault of the client if they cannot communicate in English.

• Before taking part in any transaction, you are required to wait for a reply so that we can discuss the details.

• I will - after everything is processed and confirmed - send you an total price, along with payment options. You need to confirm the payment with me before I start your order.

PAYMENT

• I am not responsible for any mistakes that are made on your part over the course of the transaction.

• I will only accept USD via Paypal (international and US) or Cashapp (US only) as payment. You are responsible for making currency conversions and covering the conversion cost

• It is expected that you deposit 100% of the price upfront before I start. No exceptions unless otherwise discussed for more expensive orders.

• After 100% of the payment is sent, I will start Sketching. The Sketch will then be sent to you to confirm details, composition, etc.

• I will initiate the transaction to avoid accidental transactions by sending you link(s) to my digital payment accounts. Do not send me any kind of payment until I have confirmed I can accept your commission AND have asked for payment. Failure to comply will result in refund and potential cancellation of your commission.

• Payments via Paypal are sent via Invoice method only unless otherwise stated, but do not require an account to pay. I will cover the Paypal fees as it is expected from the Artist per PayPal ToS. What you see is what you will have to pay.

• I do not accept payment from shared PayPal accounts unless you are not of legal age and use a parent/guardian’s PayPal account.

• If payment is not made in a timely manner (48h unless discussed otherwise) after I’ve placed the Invoice, the commission will be cancelled. Please contact me if there are any delays or issues preventing payment. Repeated counts of commissioning a project and failing to pay will result in blacklisting.

• For auctions, you are NOT allowed to retract your bid. On your first problematic transaction, you’ll receive a simple verbal warning. The next time you back down from the auction you will be blacklisted and refused the opportunity to bid in the future. Only bid if you are sure you can pay your bidding.

REFUNDS

• I can refund 100% of the payment only if I have not started working on the sketch unless discussed and agreed otherwise by my own confirmation.

• Once I start the sketch, you can be refunded up until the amount that would be paid for either a sketch commission, or up until the stage your commission is (excluding basic depth shading and above).

• In the case of the commissioned artwork being a gift, but being unable to give it to the person, a partial to full refund can be discussed and agreed upon between you and I.

• If I cancel a project, I WILL reimburse the lost fees and refund 100% of what was paid, including covering the conversion rate charge for commissioners outside the US.

• Past the sketching stage there will be NO FULL REFUNDS, and past the Base Depth stage, there is NO REFUNDS.

• The only case of a full refund past the Base Depth stage is if I do not deliver the product in general, or do not uphold what was agreed upon in our contract.

• If we agree on a payment plan and I start the commission after the first deposit has been done, I will not refund your said deposit if you back out of the Payment Plan.

CHARGEBACK

• You are NOT authorized to issue a chargeback for any reason.

• A refund will always be available for almost any stage of art, so no chargeback will be needed.

• If, for any reason, your PayPal/Cashapp account malfunctions or authorizes an automatic chargeback/refund request without your knowledge, you must contact me ASAP in order to resolve the issue. Please and thank you!

• Purposely issuing a chargeback without contacting me to cancel/refund a project will result in an immediate blacklisting for you, as well as your email address, and anyone sharing your PayPal account, including side accounts.

QUEUE/SCHEDULING/WORK SPEED/DEADLINES

• I will usually take a 1-3 days to respond to your initial order inquiry.

• You reserve the right to set a deadline for your commission. This deadline must be discussed prior to payment.

• I have the right to decline a project if there is too short of a time allowance. I reserve the right to take up to 3 weeks to begin work on your project, and an additional 4-8 weeks to work on said project as needed. (This is usually due to life factors outside of my control.)

• If you did not alert me to a deadline, you must not send reminders until this 4 week’s buffer period has passed. Reminders will be ignored if they relate to work that I have prioritized above your project, including other commissions and gift art.

• Commissions are prioritized by ‘first come, first served’, as in whoever paid before you will be prioritized no matter the paid project.

• Tier commissions (See Term 6) are prioritized by tier and deadline, but I will only take 1-2 tier commissions on at a time.

• If due dates are discussed, it is also the clients’ responsibility to ensure prompt communication. I will not be held responsible for late delivery if the client did not contact me about fhe necessary topic(s) beforehand.

• For delivery of a product, an email for me to send the full resolution image as well as anything else will need to be provided by you upon payment.

• No harassment of my work speed will be tolerated, regardless of the time that has passed. (Harassment may result in a total blacklist.)

• It is possible that I might work randomly and with variation on commissions, as this is generally due to the time allotted, tier, and difficulty of said commission. (Ex: sketch commission will come before a fully rendered piece)

• You reserve the right to be notified of any delays.

RUSH FEE

• Rush fees are at least +25% of the original commission price, but the fee will change depending on the amount of time allotted by the client and the project itself.

• Estimated project start dates can be provided upon request but can not be fully guaranteed.

• However, in some cases, I am able to accept a rush commission, which will be put in first priority, or depending on the time frame for other accepted rush commissions.

• Full refunds can be provided if I do not finish by the latest due date given or partial up until the stage I was at in the commission.

• In the case of a base depth and above stage commission, the rush fee will be refunded, but the rest of the pay will be kept by me.

REVISIONS AND FEEDBACK

• I will send WIP (‘work in progress’) images after 100% of the payment is completed for orders under $50USD and when 50% of the payment is competed for bigger orders.

• These images will come in .jpeg or .png files, typically sent through email, Google docs, or a DM. If you're unsure of your options, feel free to ask to see how I can send you your order!

• The responsibility is on you to provide the necessary details and references for your commission.

• I am not responsible for any unsatisfactory element of the finished design if no feedback was given to amend it prior to sending the final project.

• I will only send a guaranteed WIP for the Sketch initially, but you are free to request a WIP at any given time. I would much appreciate requests to be spaced out reasonably to avoid interruptions to my workflow!

• In the initial sketch stage, I will provide you with a 1-3 composition photos unless you know what you're looking for specifically. Once a composition sketch is chosen, two major changes can be made to the sketch. After this, only minor changes can be made (unless it is a flaw on my side, ex: forgetting a physical aspect of the character).

• Only minor revisions (within reason) can be made after the sketch stage, but excessive revisions will be additional charges to the total of the commission.

• Each time I send a WIP to a client, I ask the client to provide feedback to me. If no suggestions are requested, the client is held responsible for dissatisfaction with incorrect details.

• Three major changes will only be made at the sketch stage. Any other changes must be minimal unless a fee is paid. Color corrections will be free of charge unless asking for the entire color composition to be changed.

• Any major changes to the character or subject will be subject to a fee, and the fee will depend on the nature of the change.

• I will not be held responsible for any changes in ownership of the said character.

• After the order is completed, minor changes such as color adjustments are allowed if the missing or inaccurate elements are my faults (e.g., I overlooked details provided in the order).

• In the absence of feedback from the customer, any changes to the final piece will be subject to a fee.

• I will not redraw a completed commission unless payment is received for a second order.

FINAL PRODUCT

• There may be slight differences between the samples in my gallery and the illustration you will receive.

• The commissioner must respect that my artistic style cannot be altered.

• I reserve the right to reject critiques pertaining to artistic skill and stylization, and if the critique reduces the artistic quality of the piece.

• Credit to me, the Artist, is required when you post or use it on another platform.

• You, the Client, are responsible for saving any information, images, and other digital data I provide.

• Any file you paid for will be available from me for as long as I can keep the images, typically backed up on my computer. However, I can not guarantee against computer failure or accidental deletion or loss.

• I am not required to post your project in any public space, and if posted, I am not required to keep it there indefinitely. I have the right to delete or remove any public project, even if you paid for it, as you should have your own copy for personal use.

• Feedback of the final product is permitted after completion of the piece, through private messages or comments.

• Any comments that are rude, inappropriate, inflammatory, and/or non-constructive may result in blacklisting.

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If you've gotten this far, thank you for reading my (very lengthy) ToS! The reason this is so lengthy is to save myself and others the trouble later and to confirm that I have covered every basis for transactions with others.

My contact information:

Commission email - qyuniicomms@gmail.com

Instagram - qy.unii

Discord - qy.unii/qy.unii#0466

Twitter/X - qy_unii

NSFW Twitter/X - unihornii

[gtseven7]

My Seven Idols

this is the picture mentioned in the story

Summary:

Got7 as highschoolers as they deal with graduation and college at the same time starting up their own Youtube channel as idols. 

A/N:

So this is chapter 1. Really, I wasnt supposed to write this thing but it has been bugging me for months and I just cant shake it off okay? I tried resisting thinking, dude you're on your way to the juicy parts of Seven Princes. But whelp I lost a battle within myself and wrote this anyway. I hope you guys like it!

masterlist

//prev

1

The click-clacking of the keyboard echoed in the room as Y/N furiously typed the remaining subtitle of the video she had been editing the last few nights. Hitting the export button, the brunette could finally exhale and relax. The beach aesthetic video she had been working on was now in the process of being complete. She just has to wait till it loads to a hundred and her hard work will pay off. Smiling to herself, she minimized the editing software and opened up her InstaBook. She scrolled leisurely, seeing the pictures of her peers and some from her photographer idols. Y/N was examining an aesthetic cityscape picture from one of her favorite photo blogs, Def, when her notification alerted her of a great news. Ding! And the words that popped up from the right corner of her screen made her screech. As it was almost midnight, she had to restrain herself and not wake her parents. But she can’t help the giggle that escaped her mouth. She quickly clicked the pop up. It said: pjy_01 updated his profile picture. When the picture loaded, Y/N's jaw almost unhinged. Park Jinyoung a.k.a. Mr. Student Council President rarely posts a picture of himself. His feed was usually just books, food and random sceneries. He did have few self-taken pictures and Y/N was happy with it (some of them are really just bad quality but she’ll take it) but this one? This one’s just beautiful, amazing, gift from the heavens. He was sitting on a comfy white couch, staring directly at the camera with puppy eyes. His white button up was slightly unbuttoned(!!) as he wore an innocent face and a cute peace sign as a cherry on top. Y/N was just about to scream and jump around. But before that, she made sure to save the picture in her Jinyoung Stash folder. “Woah. What is this Jinyoung? You should always post things like this. I’ll be a happy woman.” She sighed dreamily, staring at her screen but missed the notification of her software that finished exporting her video. 

Y/N was rudely interrupted when her phone suddenly rang. Not even looking at the caller id, she answered the call with an annoyed tone. “What?” No one would be phoning her at this time other than her best friend. “Yo chill out Y/N.” Youngjae laughed at the other end, knowing he most likely disturbed her from her hobby. Which isn’t entirely false, he just didn’t know that the hobby at the moment was staring at their president and not videography. ”It’s midnight Youngjae, what do you need?” She elicited another hearty laugh from the guy. Any other circumstance, she’ll laugh along since his laugh is contagious but this time was not it. “Well?”

“Geez, aren’t you such a joy tonight. I’m just gonna ask if you already finished the essay homework due tomorrow.” 

Blank silence. It was then that Y/N laughed at the ridiculing situation. Homework? Was there ever one? And she voiced it out, still half cheerful and half threatening. Youngjae might be pranking her once again. “The essay homework Mr. Kwon asked us to do. The one about Romeo and Juliet. Don’t tell me you don’t remember?” Youngjae chuckled a little too, thinking that his friend was making fun of him. When the only sound he heard was the bark of his cute dog Coco beside him, Youngjae started to sweat. “You haven’t done a single thing didn’t you?!”

“I think I’m gonna puke. Youngjae-ahh~ What do I do?!” 

Y/N's eyes bugged out, realizing that yes, there is indeed an essay due tomorrow. And it is for Mr. Kwon’s subject, her most feared teacher. Oh how that teacher terrifies her whole being. How could she be so stupid?! “Youngjae!!! What do I do? What do I do?!” Panic was starting to rise from her gut, her heart beating too fast that even midnight coffee can’t do. Add the obvious panic in her bestfriend’s voice on the other end, it made things worse for her. “I don’t know! Uh… I can lend you mine? Just modify some parts. Paraphrase things…”  

“Oh my God Youngjae I love you. You’re the best!!” 

“You owe me one Y/N.” 

“I do, I do. Thanks so much.” 

They bid goodnight to each other, Youngjae promising to pick her up from her house so she won’t be late; she once again praised his goodness before hanging up. And as promised, he sent her his homework, Jinyoung’s picture on her screen forgotten. Y/N once again typed relentlessly through the night. 

“I bet Jinyoung never had a problem like this. Y/N you must do better!”

That motivation fueled her to write the essay about Romeo and Juliet even if she didn’t understand what it was about aside from it being a romance story. Little did the sophomore videographer know, her high pedestaled president sat on his chair under the dim light of his study desk at the same time as her. He was hunched in concentration on the essay he stalled on doing days before it was to be submitted. 

No words flowed, his pen stuck mid-air. “Argh. What the heck is this shit about anyway?” Jinyoung huffed as he crumpled his nth paper and tossed it in the bin beside him. His brain was not cooperating with him that night and it’s just frustrating. Why does he have to explain why the economy of their country is not thriving as it used to? It’s just plain bullshit to be honest. He had mountains of council work the past few days and he wasn’t able to attend few classes including the class he was supposed to write this essay for. This is why he hates skipping, when things like this essay arrive, he doesn’t know what to do. He didn’t have time to read up everything that’s why he just went straight to bluffing his way out of the conclusion of the paper. The distracting noise of the instrument app on Jaebeom’s phone didn’t help him much either. “You have your own room, your own bed. Why are you always here?” His housemate just shrugged and continued his melody making. It was sounding good to be honest, not that his friend ever made a bad song but the other’s process was just making the writing too difficult for him. “How can I even finish when you distract me like this?”

“One, Jinyoung, it was your fault for not doing it earlier. Two, you are not distracted by my music. You just don’t want to do that stupid paper.” 

And it hit him too well. He’s right. Most times, Jaebeom’s music calms him but this time his brain just straight up refuses to do a thing. His long haired companion exited the app after saving his work. Jaebeom laid down on Jinyoung’s bed. He patted the space beside him, encouraging the other to lie down with him and sleep. “Don’t push yourself too hard. Get some sleep first, you’ve had a harsh week.” 

“Get out of my bed.”

“Hmm…”

And with that, Jaebeom closed his eyes to sleep. He’s not a fast sleeper per se, he’s just waiting for Jinyoung to join him but he didn’t. He opened his eyes just a slit saw the student body president scribbling again with a determined face. 

Few hours after, it was almost three in the morning. Jinyoung has to get up at six to prepare for their eight o’clock class. He doesn’t like not sleeping properly but for the sake of that damned paper, he had to sacrifice. He sighed once again and turned off the lamp. Looking to his right, he saw his friend sleeping peacefully, facing him from the farther half of the bed. Jinyoung shook his head in exasperation. He sat on the unoccupied side and stared at his friend of ten years. His face lax and serene. The nose ring glints under the soft glow of the stars from the window. Jinyoung’s hand inched towards the other’s face, stopping midway. He clenched his fist and brought it back to himself. ‘Ah, I really wanna remove that nose ring so badly.’

Morning came and the sunlight was harsh on Y/N’s face. She finished her essay in time, luckily. She trudged along the hallways of their small house, the only thing that woke her up completely was the smell of fresh bacon being cooked. She quickly ate her breakfast, showered and said goodbye to her parents with a tired smile. The sound of the bell announced the arrival of Youngjae by their door. She opened it and her friend almost screamed bloody murder. “I thought a zombie came out to eat me.” 

“Shut up.”

Youngjae laughed and slung an arm on her shoulders. He ruffled her already messy hair further. “Did you finish the write up?” She gave a gloomy thumb’s up while yawning, earning a giggle from the boy. “Ah seriously, you should take care of your studies more Y/N.” 

“Says you. You were up all night long playing. I can see it on the bags under your eyes.”

“At least I finished my work before doing so, unlike someone I know…”

Y/N clicked her tongue in disapproval but she knows he’s right though. “I got carried away with the good shots I had when me and Yeji went to the beach last week. Aah, I made such a good video last night.” Youngjae smiled at her friend as he watched her walk half asleep. 

Y/N and Youngjae were friends since they were toddlers. With their mothers practically sisters because of their closeness, and their houses are just one backyard away from each other, the two developed a close friendship. Oftentimes they’d be hanging out in their places, playing video games or reading comics. Although when they started to grow up more, they drifted away slightly, having different circles of friends. That didn’t bother the two of them though. They thought that it’s better to have their friendship outside school so that they won’t get sick seeing each other’s faces all the time. With this, they rarely go to school together anymore. Their classmates are in the dark about their closeness as well.  

Youngjae pulled out his phone and scrolled his pictures. He suddenly got excited about showing his bestfriend about his dog’s new outfit he bought recently. “Y/N, Y/N, look at Coco. I bought a new shirt. It’s so cute.” He practically shoved the phone on her eyes but it didn’t matter much to her as she was as excited as him. They practically raised that cute dog together. “Omo! Coco’s so adorable!” They were both bouncing on their steps as they look at the dog’s pictures posing differently with each new clothing. The two of them were cooing. “Ah, Coco is such a joy.” 

"Y/N!” 

They both stopped on their tracks when they heard a familiar voice. It was Yeji, Y/Ns other bestfriend outside Youngjae (he’s still the bestest but Yeji doesn’t know that). She happily waved at her two classmates, a teasing smile forming on her face already. ‘Youngjae and Y/N walking together eh? How interesting!’

Yeji’s appearance was their cue to head apart so Y/N smiled at Youngjae and said goodbye. “See ya later in class!” He just hummed in agreement, seeing as his peers are also in sight. He waved at Yeji and parted with Y/N He walked towards his other friends and greeted them. 

"So Youngjae huh?”

“What about him?”

“Nothing…” Which wasn’t true because now she is sporting a silly smile on her face. Probably imagining things outside of this world and conjuring up different ways how her friend and Youngjae fall in love. Yeji is a fangirl at heart and she just ships everybody. She never imposes it to everyone though, she’s just happy to think about it and keep it to herself. Amazingly enough though, the people she secretly shipped usually ends up together at some point. But Y/N knows her too well and she knows the outlandish things going in her mind right now. “We just happened to meet along the way Yeji.”

“I didn’t say anything!”

The school entrance as it always is, was full of commotion. More so today than usual. Y/N saw a hoard of students lining up the gate with annoyed expressions. ‘Ah, it’s probably President Jinyoung.’ She giggled to herself, happy to see him early in the morning. She’s still a little bit over the moon with his latest picture. “Do I look okay?”, that question snapped Y/N out of her daydream (the picture still lingering at the back of her mind). Yeji took out a small mirror and checked herself out. She combed her hair with her fingers, checked her uniform, straightened everything that doesn’t look ironed out. “You know he just nags at those who violate badly. We’ll never get reprimanded.” Yeji breathed deeply as she puts her mirror back to her bag. “I’m just making sure you know. I don’t want those cold eyes stare at me. It’s scary.” Y/N wanted to protest, ‘Jinyoung’s not scary! It’s a part of his charm!’ but a whine stopped her from doing so. While they were talking, they have pushed inside the crowd to get in and not be late for class. They reached the front where Jinyoung was standing sternly, his mouth thinned in disapproval. “Bhuwakul. How many times do I have to confiscate that earrings of yours?!”

“Why are you so keen on getting these anyway? Would I do better in my tests if I don’t wear them?” The boy, with his id lace yellow (which means he’s a *freshie), was so close to stomping his feet. But Jinyoung was not fazed and just stared at the boy with a piercing stare. “If you wear them, would you do better? No right? So hand them to me. You violated the school dress code. Come get it at my office after school.” 

The people around them were murmuring, Y/N even caught what the others are saying. They think that Jinyoung was being unreasonable and harsh for no reason. ‘Which isn’t true! He just cares about what the students of this school looks like.'  The sophomore turned to glare at the onlookers that defamed their president. ‘Ungrateful fools.’ But she was startled when the tall boy (oh my he’s tall) beside the one named Bhuwakul spoke innocently. “Let him be, he probably just wants to wear your earrings.” Even Yuna, the student council secretary, was shocked at the carefree manner of his dialogue. The president just raised his right eyebrow, “Kim Yugyeom, button up your uniform and tie your necktie properly.” and reprimanded the other freshie without hesitation. Yugyeom grimaced a bit but did what he was told. ‘You should be the one buttoning your clothes last night President huhu’

Despite the commotion at the front gate (which happens almost everyday as Jinyoung loves to greet the student body with “Rule # 5 under the clause of the dress code law….), Y/N and the students of their campus managed to get to their class safely. When they entered their homeroom, Y/N and Yeji was greeted by Ga Young, another friend of theirs. It seemed that she had only arrived a few minutes before them. “Yo! Entrance was pretty hectic today.” 

Yeji made a face and flipped her brow wavy hair away from her face as if she was hassled on their way over. “Ugh, don’t tell us. We had to push our way out earlier.” They both giggled and chattered mindlessly about the events that morning. 

“Don’t you think the foreigner freshie earlier was kind of cute?” Ga Young said dreamily, looking at the ceiling as if he could see his face there. “Oh, that one with the earrings?”

“Yep. We’re blessed with another foreigner beauty.” That’s true, the videographer thought. He’d look good on camera. 

“Yeon Seo isn’t a foreigner.” Y/N countered, debating that her friend’s crush wasn’t exactly from another country. He grew up in their city just like everyone else is. 

“He’s a half-half though.” 

“The tall freshie had a face too.” 

Yeji and Ga Young started to talk about the new eye candy they found. Those two are fans of idols, especially the amateur ones they have in their school. Y/N absentmindedly listened to the two’s gossip. Sometimes she thinks she’s in a webtoon or something. These kinds of things exist on books and comics even dramas that she consumes. Y/N still can’t believe such things are in her reality. Aren’t groups of popular boys with a cheesy group name only in fiction? She wondered if it’s possible that this is not a real world. 

“But you know, I heard rumors that Bhuwakul's gay.” 

That piqued Y/N's interest. Not that there’s any problem with being gay, the rumor just caught her interest. Not many people are brave enough to admit their sexuality in their community so it was pretty interesting. 

“Eh? Who told you?”

“My freshie cousin told me. He said that he’s close with girls and gives fashion advice. He’s on the softer side as well.”

Huh… Y/N thought it was a baseless rumor after all. “That doesn’t mean he’s gay though.”

“That’s true.”

When the talk about the foreign freshie Bhuwakul ended, the other two started to talk about their favorite topic once again. The Five Roses. Y/N was just done with that subject and had heard enough to last her a lifetime. She couldn’t even understand why the girls in their school seemed to be under their spell. In Y/N’s opinion, they aren’t that good looking. Heck, even Mr. Cold Eyes Jinyoung was much more handsome. ‘Especially if they saw last night’s picture. How come they don’t talk about it?!’ 

“Ji Woo looked handsome today too!” 

‘Oh come on, even Youngjae looks better than that guy.’ At the thought of her bestfriend, she turned to glance at him. He seemed to have caught her and gave him those warm sunny smiles that made her heart beat a bit faster. Even if she doesn’t consider her childhood friend as a man, she’s sure that he’s a good looking guy. 

//next

[whitescion-blog]

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[angstyteeninthegayscene]

Punk Goes Pop-Klance au

I’m back, bitches! Here's part 6, which gets angsty as fuck, sorry not sorry. I ended up completely rewritting this, which is part of why it took so long for me to update, but I’m pretty happy with how it turned out, and you get some answers to things, so I hope you enjoy!

First-Previous-Next-AO3

Pt 6

Lance spent the next day totally not moping. Pidge gave up trying to get him to do something and left him to his own devices, while they hung out with Hunk and tried to reassure Keith that Lance didn’t hate him, he was just processing things in his typical Lance way.

Mindlessly scrolling through his phone, Lance opened the Youtube app with the intent to watch shitty vine compilations to return some semblance of joy to his soul. When the screen loaded, a video at the top of his recommended feed caught his eye, Brogaynes’ Rihanna cover. He felt a surge of energy, remembering how fired up about the video he got yesterday. He couldn’t just leave this rivalry hanging.

He dragged himself out of bed at the glorious hour of 2:43 pm, got dressed, and munched on a granola bar as he sat at his desk and powered up his laptop. He opened his editing software and got to work.

***

“Hey, look at that!” Pidge exclaimed as they walked into the room, “It’s alive!” Their voice warbled like Dr. Frankenstein when he first awoke his monster. Headphones over his ears, Lance didn’t notice his roommate’s return and jumped a little when he saw them move into his peripheral. He pushed the headphones off one ear and turned to acknowledge them.

“Hey, Pidge.” He smiled at them briefly before going back to his work. They moved to stand behind them and flopped their weight over Lance’s shoulders, severely hindering his ability to do anything, but refusing to move when he tried to shrug them off.

“Whatcha working on?” They asked, their voice directly in Lance’s ear from their perch on his back. He swatted at them, his efforts to get them to move fruitless.

“Remix,” Lance answered concisely as he tried to focus, despite Pidge’s weight pushing on him.

“For the Youtube thing?” The ginger guessed correctly. They squinted at the screen, taking a closer look. “Evanescence, huh? You’re playing dirty there, Aoki.” Lance swung himself around to face them, doing so fast enough to displace them, causing them to stumble back. He snickered at their indignant hey.

“Serves you right, gremlin.” A shit-eating grin spread across Pidge’s face at the name-calling. “And Aoki, really? I thought we were friends,” Lance said, feinting a pout. Pidge’s grin only grew wider.

“I call it like I see it,” they said with a shrug.

“Rude! You and I both know I’m better than him,” Lance replied.

“I thought you weren’t a DJ,” Pidge said smugly, knowing they would hit a nerve with that one.

“I’m not!” Lance huffed and turned back to his computer. “Be gone, demon. I want to finish this.” Pidge complied, sitting on their bed and pulling out their laptop.

Several minutes of silence and soft key clicking passed, broken by a loud groan from Lance as he leaned back, pushed his headphones down around his neck, and rubbed his eyes. Pidge looked up as his hands slid down his face, stretching it out like a scream mask, and he groaned again.

“You good?” They asked.

“Yeah, I’ve just been working on this for--,” Lance eyes widened as he looked at the clock, “Jesus, I’ve been working on this for, like, 6 and a half hours.”

“Dude,” Pidge replied, “Have you moved from there?” Lance shook his head. “Have you eaten?” Lance nodded. “What?” They questioned.

“A granola bar,” he answered almost sheepishly.

“All you’ve eaten is a granola bar all day?” They said in disbelief, “It’s past 9 o’clock, Lance. That’s not healthy, man.” They resisted the urge to strangle him, electing instead to drag the lanky boy to his feet and point aggressively at his shoes and jacket. “We’ve got like 45 minutes ‘til the dining hall closes. You’re eating.” Lance hung his head at the reprimand but did as he was told.

Lance realized how hungry he actually was once they walked into the cafeteria and he could smell the food. He piled his tray with two meals worth of food, a comically large amount compared to Pidge’s bowl of fruit and ice cream bar they grabbed to snack on since they ate a few hours previous.

They barely sat down before Lance started shoveling food into his mouth.

“Hungry, huh?” Pidge quipped, laughing as Lance flipped them off between bites. They sat silently, watching him eat, refraining from making any more comments until he finished, pushing his tray to the side.

“You can’t do that, Lance.”

“What.”

“Not eat, dumbass,” Pidge said sternly.

“I know. Sorry.”

“You don’t need to apologize. You need to take care of yourself.” Pidge softened their voice, not wanting to come off as angry, but concerned, and continued, “I know you’re upset about yesterday, but that doesn’t mean you just get to shut down.”

“Yes, mom,” Lance retorted.

“Lance, I’m serious,” Pidge responded, a little too harshly.

“I got it. Just lay off,” Lance snapped coldly. He reached for his tray and tried to stand, but Pidge extended their leg and pulled the chair back in, forcing him to stay seated.

“No, you’re not running away from this,” Pidge’s voice was sharp, uncharacteristically so. “I get it, Keith doesn’t remember you, you’re upset, but you need to pull your head out of your ass.”

“It’s not that simple,” Lance mumbled.

“What’s not that simple? You were friends in middle school, you haven’t seen each other in, what, 7, 8, years? People forget about each other under normal circumstances all the time after that long. Keith has his reasons, you just need to listen to him.”

“We weren’t just friends, Pidge,” Lance cut in, a fire in his eyes, “He was everything to me. I’ve wondered every day where he went, why he left me, and I finally found him, and he forgot me. How could I not be upset?” Lance rested his head in his hands to cover the tears slowly making their way down his face, not wanting to draw attention to himself, despite there only being a few other people in the room, all seated far away. Pidge let out a heavy sigh, the result of an internal battle over how to handle this.

“He was in a car accident.” Lance’s head shot up, eyes wide.

“What?”

“It killed both of his parents and the doctors thought he had short term memory loss caused by a traumatic brain injury, but the memories never came back and it was more severe than they thought, he could remember next to nothing from the past 3 or 4 years, which includes the time he knew you.”

“He, oh my god,” Lance whispered, a hand over his mouth as the tears flowed heavier. Pidge gave him a moment before continuing.

“He went to live with his aunt and uncle and had to have private tutoring to catch him up to where he was supposed to be in school. That’s how I met him. My brother, Matt, was friends with his cousin, Shiro, so I came over a lot to help him with school stuff.

“He didn’t want to forget you, Lance. He just had a shitty hand dealt to him and you were indirectly caught in the crossfire.”

“Jesus,” Lance breathed, “Fuck, I was such a dick.”

“Yeah, you kinda were,” Pidge laughed softly, “I shouldn’t have even told you this, but you never would have talked to him otherwise.”

“I, um, thanks for telling me, Pidge,” Lance stuttered out, his hands falling to the table with a dull thud. Pidge reached out and squeezed one reassuringly.

“Just talk to him, Lance. You guys obviously had something before, there’s no reason you can’t start over.”

“Ok, yeah. Yeah, I will,” Lance nodded, letting out a shuddered breath as his body calmed down. Pidge smiled and smacked his arm.

“Alright, enough of this sad shit. It’s a school night,” they said, standing and grabbing their dirty dishes. Lance mirrored the action, following them to the dish drop and then their room, but stayed quiet, still trying to process the information that had just been dumped on him.

[never-was-has-been]

#GetOutTheVote  Phase 2020 & 2022

Anyone concerned about Primaries & General Elections for 2022? I am. We did great in 2018! Let’s do it even greater in 2020 & 2022! You've probably seen my repeated 2018 posts about the ALL 50 States' election boards. I'm updating to "Phase 2020 & 2022" of this #GetOutTheVote process. This involves "protecting" your Voter Registration once you confirm it. This can be done using a 'screenshot' phone app or the "Prnt Scrn" key on your computer. Why do this? Because I don't trust ANY election board in any US state to do their job, under the circumstances with this Senate full of liars & manipulators. We MUST STAY FOCUSED ON the next TWO YEARS! My Suggestions:

Go to the Election board link in your state. 

Check your registration & confirm it is correct: Click here--> bit.ly/3t1cYPR (Election Boards all 50 states)

Take a screenshot of the form that shows your registration data. This can be done using a phone or computer.

Print out a hard copy of that screenshot.

On primary day and/or Election day, BE SURE TO BRING THE HARD COPY Of Your Registration with you! If you are challenged by a election board worker that you aren't registered, SHOW THEM your Hard Copy! If they refuse to accept it, Request/Demand a written reason for their refusal.

DO NOT GIVE UP YOUR VOTE! I suspect that there will be unusual activity at some Poll stations, as election workers are primed for ANY procedural anomalies. Be respectful but firm. Don’t cause a scene or act erratically. Don't let them get away with making you leave until you get satisfaction that you're registered properly.

Links to instructions to take screenshots with Phones: https://fieldguide.gizmodo.com/how-to-take-a-screenshot-of-anything-even-when-theyre-1791505218 …

And here 4 Androids: https://www.makeuseof.com/tag/6-ways-to-take-screenshots-on-android/ … Please let me know if ANY info here is incorrect. I will fix it. If it's okay. PLEASE RETWEET & Re-Blog!! Thank you Tumblr @staff​ for letting me Get Out The Vote!

[ffsvalkyrie-blog]

... woo, another trash child from yours truly.

━★ ( jessica parker kennedy, cisfemale, she/her ) hey, that’s ( valkyrie blythe ), who’s lived here for ( fifteen years ). the ( thirty-three ) year old is known to be ( observant & compassionate ) but you’ll find that they can be ( outspoken & strong-willed ), too. i heard they work as a ( manager at oasis ) and ( bad girlfriend ) by ( theory of a deadman ) always seems to be playing around them. ( bad decisions, jeans, whiskey, rock'n'roll, classic cars ) ━★ ( sunny, 23, est, she/her ).

Okay, so... about Val. This is a character I’ve had, now, for almost two years, so you can imagine she’s VERY well-developed, lol. Get ready for a novel but if you don’t feel up to reading said novel, feel free to just skip to the bottom.

five traits:

COMPASSIONATE: She's always been a compassionate individual, to a degree. She would be the sort to piss on you if you were on fire but only if it benefited her in some way. In that sense, perhaps, she's more opportunistic than compassionate but under the right circumstances, she can be compassionate, just because it's the right thing to do. It's a rarity, but it does happen. Overall, though, she's a sweetheart.

OBSERVANT: She's what most would call a people watcher. She can tell you, just by observing you for a few moments, what your malfunction is and how you can best rectify said malfunction, even if you don't want to hear it. She might not be book smart or even tech smart, but she knows her way around people. Some would call it a gift, but she calls it a curse. It certainly doesn't make people want to be around her.

MATERNAL: Despite her flaws, she's got a mothering instinct like no other. She's been in a position where her own mother couldn't care for her and thus, she's more attuned to the problems of children, teenagers, and young adults. Even if you don't fall into one of those three categories, chances are she'll still mom you to death. She doesn't care if you don't want her to. Happy mama means happy you.

OUTSPOKEN: Whether or not you want to hear it, she's going to state what's on her mind. Yes, even at the risk of being completely out of the ballpark. She doesn't beat around the bush and while she isn't the most educated individual, that doesn't mean you should rule out what she has to say. There are occasions when she's extremely insightful and other times, she's completely off base. She doesn't wake up every morning with a set goal to piss people off, but she does tend to point out when she thinks you're being a fucking moron.

STRONG-WILLED: She's exceptionally stubborn. Once she sets her mind to something, there's virtually no changing her mind or stopping her. You'd have better luck turning a whore into a housewife or even turning a nun into a whore. She's not what you'd call pliable by any stretch and if you try to tell her what to do, chances are she'll do the exact opposite, especially if she doesn't agree with you. In that regard, it's easy to understand why some people probably wouldn't find her all that appealing, moreso when you combine her other traits.

five strengths:

ARTISTIC: What she lacks in book smarts, she makes up for in creativity. She might not be Picasso or even van Gogh but that doesn't mean she doesn't add her own flair to everything she sets out to do. You can almost always find her signature on whatever it is she does but whether that's a literal signature or a metaphorical signature depends on what it is she's signing. Some have said she's a bit out there, simply because of just how creative she is. She knows how to express herself, whether that be through her speech or less conventional means.

TIME MANAGEMENT: She's always been particularly skilled at managing her time. No matter how late she wakes up, she's always on time and presentable. Sure, she might have to cut a few corners like skipping breakfast and taking a whore's bath, rather than a legitimate shower, but she does everything she can to be punctual. She hates being late and especially hates to be kept waiting. It's not at all unusual for her to bitch at people for keeping her waiting.

WRITING: She's not just creative with a paintbrush or drawing/coloring materials. She also has a way with words and often opts to write longhand. She finds that her words flow better when she writes longhand and you can sense the emotions behind her words better that way. Newfangled technology, in her mind, just makes words seem cold and without expression. In any case, she is striving to write her own book someday and hopes that it'll be something worthwhile.

EFFECTIVE LISTENER: Because she's an observer, she oftentimes prefers to listen, rather than speak. She will listen to your woes until the cows come home and if you ask her for it (and, sometimes, even when you don't), she'll freely give of her opinion on the matter when you've gotten it all off your chest. She'll only speak when she's sure you've finished, however, and even then she might not offer much. She might be good at listening, but she's not so good at comforting people as time has proved to her time and time again. All the while you're speaking, she's pulling apart everything you say and comparing it to how you come off.

NEGOTIATOR: She's always been an excellent negotiator. She might not always play well with others, but she's great at problem solving and coming to a solution. It might not always be a typical sort of solution, but it's a solution all the same. She can help you solve your problem and if you don't listen to her the first time, she won't offer you a solution ever again. She doesn't speak for her health and refuses to waste her time on stupid, stubborn people... Pot calling the kettle black, amirite?

five weaknesses:

NOT A TEAM PLAYER: She doesn't play well with others. In fact, if it were up to her and she didn't fear being alone, she wouldn't deal with people at all. She hates most of the people she comes into contact with almost straightaway and usually comes away from most interactions with the other party pissed off at her to some degree. Again, it's not like she sets out to piss people off. It just kind of... Happens.

TECHNOLOGICALLY ILLITERATE: One of her biggest weaknesses is that she's technologically illiterate. She barely knows how to operate her smart phone, beyond the basic features. She hates using apps and hates using more advanced technology even more, if only because it makes her feel inadequate. She can't use anything on her phone more advanced than basic texting and the occasional social media update and as far as her computer is concerned, she only uses it when she absolutely has no other choice. For the most part, it collects dust.

UNABLE TO DELEGATE: She has it in her head that she needs to do everything herself. She often believes she doesn't need the help and by the time she finds out she does, it's usually too late to ask for help. Most of the tasks she sets out to do are done slowly but in the long run, they're done right. In her mind, no matter how many times it's been proven that help will make it go faster, things only get done right the first time if you do them yourself.

NOT BI-LINGUAL: She only speaks English. It's not for lack of trying or even that "America first" load of bullshit but rather, lack of patience. She doesn't see the point in speaking another language when all she's ever going to do is work in a restaurant for shitty tips and equally shitty people. Most of the people she associates herself with speak English and those that don't, she fakes it with them. She knows bits and pieces of Spanish but not enough to carry on a conversation. She basically knows enough to order somewhat confidently at a Mexican restaurant and not fear that what she's getting will make her physically ill.

PAYS TOO MUCH ATTENTION TO DETAIL: By nature, she's a perfectionist. She takes much longer on tasks that should be simple and relatively painless, especially if it means not half-assing it. She might take longer, but the results are almost always more desirable. She tends to overthink things and when she does that, it leads to a slew of doubts. She prides herself on a job well done and often takes that a bit too far.

five aspirations:

TRAVEL: She'd love to travel outside of the contiguous United States. She's already seen all forty-eight states and would love to see the last two, as well. She'd also love to see the world in general. Unfortunately, though, she can't afford it. All of the money she'd saved up, prior to coming to Seagrove, was spent on her trip through the contiguous United States.

ASSEMBLE A GOOD ART COLLECTION: She'd love more than anything to be able to see her home, no matter where that might be, lined with art displays. She wants only the best, though, and unfortunately, much like traveling, that costs money. She tends to find herself in art museums and places that have art displays when she's not working or holed up at a watering hole. She envies those that have become famous through their art. She also knows, however, that if she took up art, it'd only be as a hobby.

LEARN TO PAINT WITH OILS: She'd love to paint with oil-based paints but doesn't know how or where to begin with that particular endeavor. She's watched almost every video she can find on the subject and still doesn't know where to begin. She doesn't really want to keep painting with water-based paints but does so only because it's what she's grown accustomed to. She knows in order to succeed she'll need to deviate from her comfort zone but that's what scares her the most... That and fear of failure. She knows, logically, that you have to get knocked down a few times to succeed but she strives for perfection in everything she does the first time around or as close to it as she can get.

LEARN TO PLAY THE GUITAR: She's endlessly fascinated with guitar-driven music and has studied video after video and taken note after note. Still, it seems to pale in comparison to the actual thing. She'd love to find someone to teach her but doesn't want to rely on anyone for that sort of thing. Not to mention, she believes she has it in her to teach herself. After all, people teach themselves how to play the guitar all the time... Right?

PUBLISH A BOOK: She wants to publish a book for children. She figures it's probably as close as she'll come to being around children in any sort of capacity. She'd also like to publish a book in general but isn't quite sure how to go about doing that without the proper funds. She's thought of taking up a second job, but where would the time be for writing and drinking? The more she thinks about it, the more it makes her head hurt.

five fears:

SPIDERS: She's really afraid of spiders. She has a freeze response whenever she sees one and if said spider happens to venture too close, she's quick to flee. It's not a logical reaction and she knows that better than anyone, but she can't ever get up the stones to kill a spider, let alone get close to one. She doesn't even have a good reason for her fear. It just exists in the back of her mind and no matter how many times she's confronted by a spider, it never seems to make her fear go away.

SNAKES: Much like with her fear of spiders, her fear of snakes has no real logic behind it. It's not like she's ever even seen a snake in person before. She's always lived in concrete jungles, save for when she was traveling. Even when she was traveling, the only snakes she saw were dead ones. She supposes part of her fear comes from the fact snakes just can't be trusted.

HEIGHTS: This fear has a bit more logic behind it but not much. She was stuck on a ferris wheel for several hours and the person she was stuck with thought it was funny to constantly rock the boat, so to speak. She thought she was going to plummet to her death and looking down to see how far up she was certainly didn't help matters any. She knew the golden rule of don't look down and now, she knows why that rule exists. When she got off the ferris wheel, she promptly lost the contents of her stomach.

CROWDED SPACES: As much as she fears being alone, she fears crowded spaces even more. Anything can and will happen in a crowd. She needs room to breathe, besides. It's not that she fears the people in the crowd as much as she fears stupidity in large numbers. When you get that much stupid together, there's virtually no telling what will happen.

BEING ALONE: She's deathly afraid of being alone. It's part of the reason why she'll do things like fall asleep on the phone or with music playing in the background. She'll do everything she can to feel like she's not entirely alone. At night, she'd love nothing more than to have someone to cuddle and during the day, she'd love to have someone to talk to but getting her to admit to any of that is like pulling teeth. She's also afraid of what people will do, once they obtain that particular knowledge, but she won't admit to that, either.

five moments:

MOTHER GOT SICK: Her mother got sick when she was a young girl. The woman was a beacon in the dark and a pillar of strength in Val's eyes. Seeing her waste away, though, it broke a part of Val that's still broken to this day. It proved to her that no matter how strong you might be, someday, you will waste away and it also proved to her that your efforts to fight it are futile at best. It took her until just recently to forgive her mother for getting sick and being unable to care for her.

FATHER LEFT: Her father couldn't handle her mother's illness and bailed. He made no attempt to take Val with him or even stay in contact with his wife or daughter. Val has hated him ever since. She blamed him for a lot of her problems. Even though she normally wouldn't have had such an adverse response, she wished misery and death upon her sperm donor.

WAS MADE A WARD OF THE NY STATE: When social workers found out her mother wasn't properly caring for her and there wasn't any family around to take her in, she was made a ward of the state. From that point on, she wanted to run away and never look back. To a point, that was exactly what she did. After dropping out at seventeen and going through the ropes to have herself emancipated, she got her GED and left the big apple. She never looked back.

DROPPED OUT AT SEVENTEEN: At only seventeen, she dropped out of school. She was a senior in high school and was close to graduating but just couldn't take anymore bullshit. She wanted out like a heart needed a beat. She absolutely abhorred her life circumstances and did everything she could to rise above certain aspects of her life. In the end, though, she became a statistic.

RECEIVED HER GED After dropping out, she went to a community college to obtain her GED. She barely passed and not for lack of trying. Schooling just wasn't her cup of tea, so to speak. She tried many different ways to cheat the system and basically bullshitted her way through the test. She had to retake it twice and with the threat looming over her that if she failed a third time, they wouldn't let her retake it again, she barely managed to pass.

five facts:

BARELY MANAGED TO OBTAIN HER GED: As mentioned above, she managed to get her GED by the skin of her teeth. She failed the test twice and with the threat of not being able to retake it after a third time, she finally managed to pass. She barely scraped by, however, with a D. She was only a few points away from having another failed test attempt. She hates that that's the case but when schooling's not for you, it's just not for you.

RESENTS HER FATHER: She hates her father with every fiber of her being. Not only was he selfish by abandoning his ailing wife, but he abandoned his daughter who still very much needed him in her life. She knew it was coming, though, as he was increasingly distant. Just before he left, he made it a point to tell both his wife and daughter not to contact him for any reason whatsoever. Val was more than happy to oblige.

GHOST-WRITING FOR FAMOUS AUTHORS: Even though her dream is to be an author, she has started off with ghost writing for other authors who are probably far more famous than she could ever hope to be. Her work is critically acclaimed and she knows better than anyone she'll look fucking nuts if she tries to claim credit for what she's written. She just stews in silence while these moochers take credit for what she worked so hard on. She's too afraid to set out, writing her own authentic works, even though she now knows she could make it. She knows she couldn't afford the cost of being published, though, so she'd rather have people enjoy her work, even when they don't know it's actually her who's writing it.

SHE DOESN'T HAVE HER LICENSE: She's scared to get her license. She knows there's no real logical reason behind it but having come from NYC, where there was literally no need for a license, she just abides by habit. She either uses public transportation or walks everywhere she goes. She tries to walk more than anything else, if only because it keeps her in shape, which she needs, especially considering how much she eats. Overall, she's content with her life, even though she spends more on public transit than she probably would a car of her own.

READS THE SUNDAY COMICS: It's more of a guilty pleasure, really. She looks forward to getting the Sunday paper for the sake of reading the comic strips. She knows it's kind of childish, but so fucking what? She enjoys it, and that's all that should matter. For her, the comic strip reminds her of happier days gone by and she would love nothing more than to hang onto those memories.

platonic:

FRIENDS: She likes a lot of people, despite her claims, but feels like she can't show it to the world around her. She lives in a near constant state of fear and does her best not to poke the hornet's nest. She often gets the notion she'd love to have friends but knows that she's not everyone's cup of tea. She'd rather be alone, as much as she fears it, than change who she is for the people around her. She's never been one who enjoyed change, and you can imagine how she'd feel if she wasn't true to herself.

FAMILY: As far as she's concerned, she doesn't have any family to speak of. Her father abandoned her and by now, her mother is either dead or withering away in hospice. She has no siblings and her grandparents are in senior living complexes, as far as she's aware. Nobody came to claim her when the state came calling, and she thinks she's better off. She'd love to have a family of her own someday but is afraid of getting sick like her mother did.

romantic:

CASUAL: While she might be too old for casual sex in the eyes of some, she still rather enjoys it. It makes her feel remotely human and feeling human, to her, is about all she has at the end of the day. She doesn't stick around and chances are, she'll probably kick you out of her bed, no matter how much she might want to cuddle afterwards. You're going to leave in the morning if you stayed, so why delay the inevitable? At least, that's how she feels on the matter.

COMMITMENT: She's as free as a bird, as far as romance goes. She could do with pretty much anything and everything. Once you sink your claws into her, she won't stray. She's a loyal and loving partner and will do anything under the sun to make sure her relationship remains light and breezy, even if it means avoiding conflict at all costs. She does, however, believe in individuality and the heart growing fonder in one's absence.

others:

RIVALS: I don't really see her having rivals, if only because she doesn't really have anything enviable about her. In fact, she's probably as far from enviable as a person can possibly get. I do, however, see her having enemies and probably quite a few of those. Her mannerisms are rather abrupt and oftentimes unpleasant. People will probably dislike her, just on principle, alone.

LOOKING FOR: I'm not really sure what I'm looking for at this point in time, honestly. I do know that friends and the usual connections would be nice. She's been in Seagrove for about fifteen years. She went on a road trip and landed here in Seagrove when she was eighteen. She's been working the same dead end job ever since and perhaps, roommates would also be nice but again, totally not mandatory, as I can just NPC her roommates.

[swanandapirate]

Blue Petals & Broken Glass Ch.11

Summary: Emma had the night shift and when a burglary call came in, she had to go and do her job. She ended up at the flowershop of a certain Killian Jones and he clearly knew more about the robbery than he was letting on.

ch.10: tumblr / ff.net

this chapter: ff.net

the whole story: ff.net

Amazing banner made by the wonderful @shady-swan-jones

A/N: And I'm back! I apologize again for the large gaps between updates but pfff... life. Anyways, this is quite an angsty chapter and I'm already going to apologize for that but it's where the muses lead me and who am I to ignore them. Thanks for not giving up on this or me <3

(A trigger warning for grave injuries and mentions of violence)

She couldn't sleep; her eyes wouldn't follow her command of staying closed. Emma couldn't even get her body to listen to her pleas to simply relax. Turning and twisting her limbs into every possible position, her sheets rustled with the movements. The plethora of fear haunted her, uttered whispers of distress into her head and they were all in a very familiar voice.

In the darkness of her room, Emma fumbled around to find her phone that was lying somewhere on her nightstand. As she sensed the device under her fingertips, her hand curled around it and brought it closer. The bright screen informed her that it was 2:09 am. Letting her eyes fall shut, she sighed.

You're imagining things, Emma. Killian's fine. He's at home, above the flower shop, sleeping soundly, maybe even snoring like last time. There's no reason to worry.

Her eyelids opened again and Emma rubbed over her cheek. She clicked the nightlight button, sparking it to life and illuminating the room. Reluctantly, she left her cocoon with the realization that sleep wasn't in the cards for her right now. First, her bare feet hit the cold floor, then her bare legs braced the chilled air, goosebumps following instantaneously. Emma wasn't sure if the cold was the sole to be blamed, however. She grabbed her robe, to protect herself from the cold or maybe to not be confronted with the small shivers afflicting her body.

With the minimal light of her phone's flashlight, Emma maneuvered to her couch, curling herself in it as soon as she reached it. One by one, she pulled her legs close to her chest. Her hands wrapped around her shins and Emma rested her head on her knees. A breath came and left with a lot of dramatics, her chest drastically expanding and deflating because of the air passing through.

"Tobias, am I going crazy?" she said in direction of her cabinet. The living room was still dark but Emma's orientation in her own apartment was impeccable. "Well, I am talking to a cactus, so probably." The huff that came out of her mouth after she answered her own question of sanity was something between amusement and despair. "You should have seen him yesterday. I just– I can't shake the feeling he's going to do something stupid."

Emma, stop it. The lack of sleep is making you paranoid. You have to go to work in the morning. You need to sleep, so no more distractions, no more worrying.

Her internal voice did have a point, taking on the role of voice of reason. She was basing all of this distress on a hunch, a combination of word choice and actions. What if it had just been an inconvenient moment? What if she was just blowing everything out of proportion?

Trying to expel the nerves upsetting her stomach, Emma took a gulp of air and released it again. There was nothing to worry about, absolutely nothing. After repeating that mantra just about fifteen times, her mind started to believe it and her body started to unwind. To keep herself from staying up and scrolling mindlessly through Facebook until the sun decided to color the world again, to force herself to drag her body back to bed and try to get some sleep, Emma put her phone on airplane mode. Shutting it off completely would mean taking the risk of not being woken up by her alarm in the morning but this was the next, best thing.

The bells of her alarm clock sounded extremely loud in the early morning and were violating her sleep. Though her dream had been anything but peaceful; Emma couldn't complain about the interruption. Her face contorted as she thought back to the nature of the dream, to the images that had flashed by during her sleep. Giant hands and blood and an earth-shattering scream. Not a bone in her body that wanted to experience that ever again. Nor in reality, nor in the back of her slumbering mind. Stretching her back and legs, she rolled around in her bed. Her throat tingled with dryness and her eyes stung, the common side effects of sleep. Coffee. Her body screamed for a dose to wake her up.

Emma sighed and lifted herself out of her sheets, her movements slowed down by slugginess and reluctance but countered by the thought of the smell and taste and instant rush of the caffeine. Her bare feet crossed her living room and halted when Emma reached her kitchen. A yawn sneaked up on her and her hand was just too late to cover her mouth. The coffee maker was plugged in and set into motion.

The wait was excruciating, the slow trickle of water mocking her and somehow not advancing at all. Emma stared and her eyes kept falling shut, more slowly and with bigger time intervals, staying closed for a moment before opening anew. At this pace, she would fall asleep again before her coffee was even ready. She needed some sort of encouragement, a distraction, a figurative electric shock to awaken her senses. An idea formed, a plan which required her phone, or more specifically the Spotify playlist she made a few years ago filled with pumped up music.

Emma ran–or staggered–back to her room and yanked the charging cord out, bringing her phone closer. Her thumb swiftly tapped the airplane icon again to let the signals reach her phone again and make Spotify active–no way in hell she was going to pay every month to download songs. She immediately clicked on the familiar icon leading her to the app and waited until her phone had reconnected.

Suddenly, a buzzing sensation traveled from her phone to her hand, and another one, and another one. It was a shock so big and slightly overwhelming that Emma dropped her phone in response. She picked it back up, retrieved in from the fluff carpet it had nestled in and saw the notifications piling up, a constant flux of vibrations and boxes being stacked on each other.

Missed Call: David 2:36

New Voicemail: 2:37

Missed Call: David 2:41

Missed Call: David 2:43

Missed Call: David 3:07

New Voicemail: 3:07

Her breath hitched, got stuck somewhere between her lungs and lips as she read and counted how many times he had called her.

There was nothing to explain the urgency or the need for her. No text message to clarify it all. Something happened must have happened that's what her mind instantly concluded but with whom? With him? Mary Margaret? Baby Elliot? Emma didn't have the patience to call her voicemail, to listen to messages that were running behind on the current circumstances. With lightning speed, she pressed call, the dialer tone taking forever. The nail of her thumb became the victim of her anxiousness, getting bitten down on by her teeth.

"Emma."

She gulped air for the first time in actual minutes it felt when she heard his worried, yet relieved voice. The relief probably had to do with her finally being reachable again, showing a sign of life.

"David. What's wrong?"

Straight to the point, because she was not going to be able to stomach small talk, to let her worry increase even further.

"It's Killian."

Even though she hadn't mentioned him earlier, hadn't added him to the list before, he was always number one. She should have known to follow her gut, to listen to her premonition. It never ever failed her. She should have fucking known.

A certain scent clung to the hospital walls and spread into the halls. It smelled of disinfectant and of sadness somehow. Like if sadness could have a smell, a distinctive odor, it could be found in a hospital. She had always hated it; it never failed to bring a sense of lightheadedness, as if she was about to faint any second. To ensure that didn't happen, Emma had bought a can of Coke, to get her blood racing and her sugar levels spike. Her foot nervously tapped on the floor, a fast tick that surely annoyed the other people occupying a spot in the waiting room, but she couldn't stop. Nor could she stop shaking.

David had explained everything meticulously during their phone call–at least his take on the story and what he knew–and still Emma did not understand. Or could not comprehend, could not wrap her mind around it.

Killian had attempted to break in into Gold's shop.

That, she could process, didn't sound too surprising.

A silent alarm was triggered as he did, summoning Gold to his shop.

Which was logical.

David, already done with his shift at that time, was home, asleep, and got woken up by the same silent alarm Gold received. He dressed as soon as he could and made his way towards Main Street, towards the place of crime. When he entered the pawnshop, David found a bloody and battered Killian, his breathing shallow and wheezing. The floor was enameled with a pattern of crimson droplets and Killian lay in the midst of them, unconscious and cradling his left hand. Gold was nowhere in sight.

That was where Emma's mind refused to come to terms, refused to accept that that was what really happened.

Emma spotted a familiar face, a reassurance in the chaos of white, as he walked past her with a worried look troubling his eyes.

"David!" She jumped up, catching his attention and causing David to turn around again. "Why didn't you come to my apartment and wake me?" she asked when he stood before her.

"Emma, it was a whirlwind," he tried to reason. "I needed to call an ambulance and find Gold first and when I did that, I needed to make sure he didn't try and leave again. Besides, you weren't really the best person to have on this case."

She knew that objectivity was near to impossible for her when she was this involved. In the case, in Killian, and the thing they once shared–possibly still did–but the reason David didn't wake Emma up himself was also the reason he should have.

"But you should have," Emma said. Her hands rubbed over her forehead, fingers eventually ending in her hair as she combed through it. "I mean, he's been here for hours, all alone. He could have died." She moved her weight from one foot to another.

"He didn't, Emma," David reminded her, his voice soft and kind. "Have you seen a doctor yet?"

"No." Her head moved from left to right. "A nurse told me they're still operating."

"Hmmm," David made a sound in thought, his hand settling on her upper arm. "You stay here. I'll take over your shift." Emma felt a small squeeze as he spoke.

There was no way Emma would agree to that, not when she could discern the blue color under his eyes.

"No, David," Emma protested, "You've been up the entire day and night. Go home. Go sleep. I'll just be on call."

David tried to object; she could derive that from the small, discontented sigh he let out and she could see that in the movement of his eyes. To go home, to sleep during such precarious times felt unnatural, it would to her as well. They had to help people, always be on standby; that was what a job as sheriff entailed. David had to be reasonable, however, and understand that she was right. He could rest now, take a step back and let Emma take over, regardless of how emotionally compromised she currently was.

"I'll stop by the station on my way to the loft to put up a sign that we're only handling emergencies today." It was a last attempt to be useful, not wanting to capitulate completely.

Who was she to deny him that?

Emma shaped her lips into a smile. "Thanks, David." It was simultaneously a permission as a genuine sign of gratitude. He was the best colleague and friend anyone could ever wish for.

"Send me a text when he's out, will you?" he requested, making her notice David's affinity towards Killian.

He had said they were friends and maybe Emma was being a bit too self-centered on how this was affecting her, that she forgot that David had to be struggling as well. Even more reason to let him go home.

"I will," Emma reassured, summoning every ounce of sincerity she possessed and inserting it into those two words. Anything to make him catch his sleep quicker and worry less.

She sat back down on the uncomfortable chair, the plastic squeaking in response, and watched David get into the elevator, his departure leaving her alone again with her worry.

Her head rested on her arm, arm on the thin bar of metal of the chair. It was imprinted into her skin, a red line running from her elbow to her upper arm, but she couldn't seem to muster the energy to switch her position.

A white coat appeared in front of her, Emma hurriedly looking up and meeting the eyes of the person approaching. Dr. Whale came closer, a facade of neutrality preventing Emma from reading him, from concluding how it went before Whale even opened his mouth.

"Sheriff," he greeted her with a small nod. Emma practically jumped out of her chair. "We've finished Mr. Jones' operation with success and he's stable again."

Her shoulders sagged in relief, the tension leaving her body in one big swoop.

"Can I see him?" she asked, trying to control her eagerness in front of Whale.

It didn't seem to completely work as Whale slightly narrowed his eyes and tilted his head.

"Oh," is his surprised response. "We only allow family into the ICU before visiting hours."

She was barely holding on as it were, barely able to calm herself, waiting even longer would make that impossible. Her mind would conjure images of unrecognizable Killian, the only indication of his identity the color of his empty gaze, and would flash them across her closed eyelids.

"I'm his girlfriend," she blurted out, so adamant on seeing him that she would even admit that there was something going on between them, that Emma's concern went further than just a worried sheriff. Whale almost succeeded in hiding the shock from his face but didn't question her admission.

"Oh," he repeats, the sound even more befuddled than the last. "I wasn't aware. No problem if that's the case. I would like to warn you that it will be a shock to see him."

Dr. Whale lead her through the maze of hospital hallways and hospital rooms until they stood still before a door. Emma felt the doctor scanning her, assessing if she was ready, if she wasn't going to faint or break down and apparently, he was more sure of that than she was.

Even though Whale had warned her, she still felt the tingle through her body as the door opened and revealed Killian. He had a cracked lip, a discoloration on his eye, a gash on his forehead, but the most pronounced thing, the thing that made Emma silently gasp as she covered her mouth was his left hand–or rather the lack of it.

"We tried to salvage his hand but it was completely crushed," Whale explained.

She couldn't seem to be able to stop staring at the white bandage.

"How could that happen?"

"To cause this sort of damage–," Whale gestured to Killian. "–you would have to hit the hand with a very heavy object and multiple times.

Multiple times. And intentional.

"So this couldn't have been accidental," Emma concluded.

While the deduction was mostly meant for herself, Whale still shook his head.

"Definitely not. Someone heinous really must've held a grudge against him."

You could call him that.

"Emma," Whale said, turning towards her and surprising her with the use of her first name. "He's going to be fine. He'll have to do a lot of adjusting as can be expected with the loss of such a vital limb. It will take a while for his face to heal and his bruises to disappear, but besides that, he will survive."

"Thanks." It came out mumbled and despondent. Emma wasn't doubting his survival; it was his mental state she was worried about.

Whale must have realized that as well as his hand squeezed her shoulder in one final act of consolation before he left the room, before he left her alone with him.

"Let one of the nurses know if you need anything."

I just need him to wake up and really be okay.

There were about three instances where Killian began to stir and his face contorted and Emma prepared herself for his rousing, sitting straight and leaning towards him, only to be disappointed when his eyes stayed closed and his body turned limp again.

She attempted to make the wait less excruciating and more bearable; Emma played games on her phone, texted with David and Mary Margaret, scrolled through Facebook and watched a couple of videos. She had to tell Leroy that a lost axe was not an emergency and that he shouldn't bother her if he hadn't exactly that. He had rumbled a grumpy reply and had ended the call.

Because of the lack of change or progress in the last hour or so, and the abundance of hungry outcries her breakfast-and-lunch-void stomach was making, Emma decided to check out the hospital cafeteria for some bad to mediocre coffee and maybe some pastries. Who was she kidding: a lot of pastries.

Choosing a table in the corner, right by the window and far away from the bustle, Emma sat down. She did some contemplating, her hands curled around the steaming cup of coffee. She thought of the last twenty-four hours, of the last few months. Of all that had happened, of how her life had been a rollercoaster. The fear, the heartbreak, frustration, and anger but, above all, the love. The nail of her index dented the soft cardboard of the cup.

You love him.

Yeah… she did.

The feeling had been lingering around her for most of the time they spent together, approaching with every smile, every flower, every kiss. It had nearly taken over her entire body, settled into her mind and heart when Killian had forced her to pull up her walls again, denying it access. It had somehow managed to creep up on her anew, only becoming clear as she faced losing him, as she came this close to not having him around anymore. Distress revealed important things sometimes.

Not knowing what to do with all of this newly acquired knowledge, Emma sighed and stood up. She threw her wrappers in the trash and made her way to the elevator. Her finger pressed the button, sparking a little light, and she waited, teeth nervously nibbling on her lip

The elevator doors opened after notifying Emma that she had arrived at her destination. Rubbing her hand over her face, she got out. She felt tired. Both mentally and physically and both could be blamed on the man lying unconscious in the hospital bed three doors down. She took a moment to gather her courage again, to prepare herself for the upsetting sight she still hadn't grown used to.

The room looked exactly like she had left it–bed in the middle, two chairs on the side, a small table, lots of wires and machines–with the exception of a now awoken Killian Jones.

She couldn't've been gone that long, could she? For him to wake up and to calmly and lucidly be staring at his left arm.

Emma closed the door, causing Killian to look up at her. His eyes were empty of emotion; no tears, no anger, no pain and it only reaffirmed her worry about his mental state.

There was silence, a long, outstretched, awkward silence. It was Emma's fault because she couldn't think of anything to say, couldn't open her mouth and let out a word. And Killian just watched her.

Say something, Emma. Anything.

"Hi."

Killian cleared his throat and swallowed visibly, his Adam's apple bobbing.

"Hello," he rasped.

The sound instantly made Emma search for a remedy of his discomfort and she found one, a bottle of water and a plastic cup on the small, wooden table. The water was poured into the cup, the cup was handed to Killian, who had a look of relief written all over his face.

"Thank you," he said, the sound less raspy than before.

"Don't mention it."

Emma sat down on the chair next to his bed, clasping her hands together and rubbing her thumb over the surface of her palm.

"How long have you been awake?"

Or how long ago did he discover his left hand was gone.

"About half an hour."

She nodded in understanding.

"How long have you been here?" he asked in return.

"Since this morning so about eight or nine hours."

Killian didn't reply and Emma didn't know if she should continue to carry the conversation or if she should just let it die down, if that was what he needed; peace and quiet to let him absorb everything.

Her eyes roamed the room, painfully aware of the tension and avoiding him, his eyes, his bruises, his stump, with determination.

"Go ahead," Killian suddenly spoke up, forcing her eyes to stop darting around and settle on him again.

"What?"

Emma assumed that she looked startled and confused, eyes wide and eyebrows creased. Did she miss something while being so focused on evading more awkwardness and speechlessness?

"Scream, shout, do whatever you'd like." It was hopeless, careless and yet again Emma would give everything to know what was going on in his mind; she simply wanted to understand.

"I'm not going to yell at you, Killian." She sounded a bit indignant at his suggestion that he would think she was capable of yelling at him in the situation he was currently in.

"Emma," and Killian seemed to share her exasperation. "you have every right to. I know you're angry and feel like venting. So vent."

He was right. The anger lay under a layer of worry but now that he was okay, he was doing as good as he could in this situation, the layer was thinning, only a fine sheet, fragile and breakable.

Her eyes stared at him, a harsh gaze without any blinks. She licked her lips and pressed them together so hard that her tongue picked up the iron taste of blood that came out of the dents her teeth created. Her view became dark as she closed her eyes and attempted to control her breathing. It didn't help, however. Emma felt layer crack, felt it break under the weight.

"You are a fucking idiot, Killian Jones." Her lips barely moved as she whispered the words while shaking her head.

Her voice slightly rose with her next words but never passed a normal conversational tone. He wanted her to yell, to scream in outrage and lose control but she was not going to, because she knew the words would carry more of her sincerity, of her disapproval this way. Killian knew too.

"You could've gotten yourself killed and you are so lucky David found you in time. You promised me you wouldn't do fucking shit like this and scare the hell out of me."

He didn't answer for a while, settled for watching her with attentive eyes. He waited until she calmed down, until breathing came less in spasms.

"If it makes you feel better, I've paid a price for my mistake."

By shaking it, he pulled her attention towards the bandaged stump.

"Don't, alright?" she bit and a warning finger got pointed his way. A shiver traveled through her body and Emma knew what this meant. Sure enough, the water started gathering at the ridges of her eyes. Tears of fear. Tears because and for him.

"Don't make jokes about that. Nothing about this is funny. I can't even trust you anymore, Killian. Do you even know what you put me through?" Emma clenched her teeth, trying to stop the flood but it was in vain. The tears quickly multiplied and ran in great numbers down her cheeks as she thought not only of the stint that had landed him here but of everything he had done. "I thought you were gone for good, that I'd lost you like everyone else," she admitted, her voice unsteady.

"I'm sorry, Emma." And it seemed like the guilt was too much to bear in that moment, like he couldn't face her because he was ashamed and that was why he closed his eyes.

Emma roughly wiped her tears away and averted her gaze.

"So am I."

She didn't want to dwell in this mix of anger and fear, not while he was okay and alive but it was proving to be a challenge to extinguish the fire, to assuage the distress raging inside.

"I'm going out for some air," she announced, standing up immediately and not even staying long enough to let him respond.

The automatic doors rolled open for her, granting her access to leave the hospital, and the cold air immediately hit her skin. The sky was slowly turning dark, a last color burst of purple and orange and pink being painted before Emma's very eyes. A small stone bench stood not far from the entrance and she sat down, crossing her legs under her body and resting her hands on her knees. Her eyelids closed as Emma focused on her breathing again. In and out. Let the panic out and the calm in. Let the racing thoughts out and the silence in.

It helped.

How much time passed before it helped, Emma wasn't sure, but at least it did.

The sun had completely set by the time she felt ready, the streetlights buzzing to make up for the lost light, but Emma didn't immediately return inside; she didn't rush to rejoin Killian. There was something else she needed to do first.

She stood up, stretching her legs. Her hand dove into her pocket, in search of her phone and when she found it she dialed David's number. He had asked for an update of how his friend was doing and Emma owed it to him.

Emma lightly maundered across the concrete while listening to sounds her phone was emitting. The call went straight to voicemail, something that Emma knew was Mary Margaret's doing. It was a reassuring thing, knowing that David had her to take care of him, to make sure he rested.

"Hi, David, it's me." She cleared her throat to get rid of the last remnants of the discussion with Killian. "Killian is awake." It was the first thing she said, the most important thing he needed to know. "Umm... he's doing good, considering the situation. Too good if you ask me." Her hand gently untangled her hair. "He was only awake for an hour when we already fought, but I think that I just really needed to get some stuff off my chest and he really needed the wake-up call. I'm outside right now to give us both some space and I'm planning to return in a bit. I'm probably going to stay at the hospital for the night as well. He needs someone to be with him and support him, I think. Umm… I'll take the early shift tomorrow, as usual, so definitely don't worry about that and don't worry about Killian either; he's in good hands. Yeah… I think that's it. Give Elliot and Mary Margaret a kiss from me and I'll see you tomorrow. Bye."

Emma quietly slipped back in the room, taking notice of the dimmed lights and closed curtains. As soundlessly as she could, Emma took off her jacket and sat back in the chair.

"You came back," he said, voice somewhere between a whisper and a breath. Emma startled as she thought he was asleep.

"I did."

Her words came out as quiet as his question but lacked the wonder his carried.

"What time is it?" Killian asked, eyelids still hiding his cyan irises.

Retrieving the device from her pocket, she clicked it to life again.

"It's… 9 pm," she answered.

"Are you allowed to stay here this late?"

"Um…" Secretly, she was hoping that he wouldn't ask about that, especially since they had already covered so many emotions today and how exactly was she going to explain this without creating more confusion? "Family is, and seeing that I told Whale I'm your girlfriend, I don't think he'll make a problem of it."

She should've been deaf or blind not to notice the sudden spike in Killian's heart monitor.

"Oh," was his simple reply.

He clearly had no idea if she meant it or if it was just a cover to get to him; if that was what she wanted or only a temporary thing.

Emma didn't know either, if she was being honest.

"Thank you, Swan."

"For what?" she asked, genuinely unaware of what he was referring to.

"For lying to Whale." Their eyes met. "For being here." And for the first time in twenty-four hours, Emma knew what he was thinking, knew that what he was expressing was what he truly felt inside. The look on his face was so sincere that it slightly took her breath away and that she sensed the familiar chills run over her skin.

They would be alright.

"Don't mention it." The corner of her lips gently went up. "Do you want me to stay the night?"

It was his decision, completely his to take; she would adjust herself to his needs, to what was best for him.

"Where would you sleep?" Killian replied to her question with one of his own. He attempted to lift his head to scan the room for any possibility of accommodation and Emma could see the strain in his neck, the effort it was taking to such a simple thing after such a complicated surgery and such an eventful day.

"In a chair." Her shoulders slightly went up. "It wouldn't be the first time."

Back in the day, when Neal was still her great and eternal love, they made it a sport to sleep in unusual spots, in places that seemed completely inept to slumber at first sight but they made something of it. They were good at that, self-sufficiency and ingenuity.

There still had been no actual answer to what she needed to know, so Emma tilted her head and lightly raised her eyebrows, repeating the question without any words. Even in the dimmed light, she could see the tips of his ears redden as he admitted his preference.

"I'd like that."

Her lips curled as she witnessed the return of bashful Killian and the familiarity of it felt like a warm embrace.

"Okay."

At first, she tried to fight the sleep, startling awake each time she realized her eyelids started slowly dropping. Emma tried to keep her them open, tried to be what he needed, someone to watch over him, someone to protect him, to soothe him but.

I can think of a word that describes all of that.

"Emma," Killian said softly, his voice a whisper of reassurance. "Close your eyes, love, I'm here. And I'm not going anywhere."

Emma nuzzled further into the small, white pillow, sighing with relaxation as she did.

"You better not," was mumbled right before the familiar lull took over and gently put her to sleep.

A/N: This is the penultimate chapter so we are very close to the end. I'd love to hear what you thought of this

[annmarie770imvu-blog]

How to get imvu credits 2017 check now

IMVU Credits Hack And Cheats

IMVU is a 3D game with the virtual planet and the features to connect you with the true planet. Credits can be employed to get goods from the virtual catalog. This catalogue has higher than a whopping six million products most of which were developed by IMVU members like you. Some cool and popular products to purchase are clothes, scarves, 3D and 2D stickers. There are also brilliant animations, jewelry, automobiles and lots of other items that you obtain and make your own one of a kind character in the IMVU world.

When you 1st register yourself and start off participating in, you get 1000 advantage credits that you can use to acquire anything you want from the shop. You can even earn credits by doing specific tasks. For e.g. you can invest time with a household pet and subsequently earn credits or you can talk for a couple of days which will get you some credits. You can even earn credits by completing surveys by sponsors.

The use of day-to-day spin is somethingthat a player can practice on a dailybasis to earn credit via IMVU game. This hack is pretty little recognized by men and women, and these who know do not know its suitable can earn 15 to up to 10 credits in one-time mode. It is wonderful to usebecause the quantity of currency it generatesis endless.

Via the IMVU underground you can also choose, as you would in a true-world shop, objects that enhance sexual pleasure, such as dildos, strap-ons, vibrators and swings. If you have a the underground also has toys, furnishings and avatar add-on accessories that can make you really feel as if quore really in the moment. It doesn't matter if you like BsdM, part-play, uniforms, furries or shemales, you will locate the right item or things to fit your demands somewhere in the IMVU underground.

6) the youtube players stop operating immediately after roughly each and every other update of the app. As soon as again I am getting that issue. I refuse to ask the staff again what to do for the reason that it will always be the same run about, check this, modify that and see if this is installed proper and appear for this update. Pre-Written copied and pasted just like constantly with no avail. Then some one particular will pop up saying Right here attempt this patch which usually does work but not tonight. I'll have to wait for the subsequent update to get those back on the web once again which leads me to my final problem about this issue. It took just about an hour to DL the new IMVU app, you imply with that over bloated POS that looks just like the other 1 ahead of but took this long to DL where other folks only took about ten minutes they couldn't get the youtube players to function properly.

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How For taking The Headache Out Of IMVU CREDITS

IMVU is an avatar primarily based social network that lets you chat and play with folks about the globe in a virtual atmosphere. An awesome way to meet men and women and interact on the web! You can use an IMVU Gift Card like a prepaid card to acquire far more IMVU credits to style your virtual avatar. Browse and shop IMVU items like clothing, accessories, make up, hairstyles and much more for your avatar and spend very easily with your prepaid IMVU credit.

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This private info, if shared can lead to severe challenges in future. This is what tends to make the parents disinterested in the on-line gaming globe, and youngsters are addicted player of the games. In this case, little ones start employing their parent's bank accounts for producing transactions to play the game further and the information therefore shared may well not be secured. Properly, developers preserve a strict verify on the security of the transactions and confidentiality of the info. But the other way is to locate some quick and safe strategy of having credits in the game to safe the facts too. In this situation, imvu hack generator helps.

Every person deserves to play IMVU without having obtaining to commit hundreds of dollars in accessories and looks to appropriately delight in the game. A lot of people turn into so obsessed with this game that they will commit a portion of their paycheck in credits just to unlock new appearances. On the other hand, we present a improved option and we can get one hundred% absolutely free working IMVU credits into your account with little effort expected on your end.

I contacted IMVU, which was also a different load of crap because in order to speak to them you have to create an account or develop a ticket. I received a prompt reply, significantly to my surprise. They stated I had to email them from my Facebook e mail in order to delete the account. Effectively, negative news Facebook has permanently disabled e-mail access, so I am unable to send an e-mail.

[tallia671gaming-blog]

Never Be Misled By IMVU CREDITS

RELEASED IMVU API For Unity

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The release of the Mac client for IMVU follows on the heels of the debut of IMVU 2Go , an app for the iPhone and iPod touch that quietly arrived on Apple's App Shop two weeks ago. The mobile app, which requires iOS 3. and later, basically acts like a messaging client. Customers can chat with friends, modify and update their IMVU profile, get IMVU news, and participate in contests at the social entertainment internet site such as the daily costume contest for avatars. The business plans to add far more capabilities to its mobile app in the future, Rosenzweig says.

Working with IMVU is yet another example of Kin partnering with the greatest and most effective community-driven apps and platforms out there: IMVU is a single of the best grossing apps in the Apple and Google Play shops, and it's seeing explosive development on mobile — with downloads up 91% on iOS and 62% on Android YoY in 2017. Customers upload six,000 new virtual solutions to the internet site every day.

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Interpret The Pressure Out Of IMVU CREDITS

It is a 3D avatar based game with social encounter. A different way to earn credits is to generate two accounts and send your self-gifts from the secondary to the principal account. So we will have to make skids and jumps to get it, but if you go to attempt crazy, do it in races that you are positive that you dengie.info imvu credits cheat will win. This program comes with new and undetectable anti ban program, it has constructed in proxy assistance. Mods Apk usually let players to unlock all levels, build new units made by fans or add resources in some offline games. It is also suggested that you send an e mail and they will certainly accept it.

Tip for consumers: If your youngster is interested in IMVU, or is currently a member, please make sure their profile matches their accurate age. This will help in offering an age-acceptable content material experience. The cheat tool would offer you the unlimited credits scores for you. As IMVU analyzed the Leanplum information, staring them in the face have been a series of hooks — or golden engagement opportunities — that could support them drive retention and ARPU (Typical Income Per User) for their app. Many of these hooks existed in the onboarding flow.

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6) the youtube players cease working immediately after roughly each other update of the app. As soon as once again I am having that problem. I refuse to ask the staff once again what to do mainly because it will normally be the very same run about, verify this, change that and see if this is installed ideal and look for this update. Pre-Written copied and pasted just like always with no avail. Then some one will pop up saying Here try this patch which generally does work but not tonight. I will have to wait for the next update to get these back on-line once again which leads me to my final concern about this difficulty. It took almost an hour to DL the new IMVU app, you mean with that more than bloated POS that appears just like the other one before but took this lengthy to DL where other individuals only took about 10 minutes they could not get the youtube players to function appropriately.

Immediately after downloading our new IMVU Credits Hack you will be ready to add limitless Cost-free IMVU credits and get highly-priced items on IMVU you always wanted. This is the updated version of the imvu cost-free credits generator and it canbe located only right here: SLICK-CREDITS.On-line. If you are a student or employee, you probably never have enough time to farm for credits. With credits from PlayerAuctions, you never have to. You can purchase it from our members at the most economical rates on the web. Now you can shop up riches and save time.

That is the a single that fans regarding way can suffer in the property with because large sort go to chat space now connected with entries, models, with avatar alternatives never ever makes old. Po skanowanie się skończy, pokaże wykaz i szczegółowe dane wszystkich niebezpiecznych wirusów rezydujących w tym IMVU w formacie miniatur. Nevertheless in the occasion you appreciate break for a little to truly chat with fellow players, take a appear at IMVU. The most substantial influence involving IMVU more than further digital complete world may possibly be the vast IMVU list that appears a lot more than 10 trillions products with practically all of them ending up getting put with each other by new member. If you download Firestorm viewer's pertaining to SL along with opensim, it is attainable to use each opensim and also SL. This excellent simple to transition.

[airbnbfestivals]

And now the guest that canceled is potentially threatening me...

Looking to vent but am also kind of scared... awaiting Airbnb's return call for this growing issue.I accepted a booking request for 5 nights from "D" on Sunday. "D" booked as 1 guest. I corresponded with "D" via the Airbnb app, asked about his travel, reiterated that 1 bathroom wouldn't be accessible the 1st day of his stay, and asked about his food preferences (I provide breakfast). I updated him that installations happened faster and indeed both bathrooms would be available to him.On Wednesday, 2 hours before check-in, "D" messages me that in regards to his preferences, he's "pretty much okay with what (we) have, and (he) also has 2 small pet dogs."My rules for pets and extra guests are identical and there is even a handy example. I require that each canine or human guest be booked as 1 to cover the costs. My listing states to book this way, even going so far as to include "If, for example, you are booking for yourself, 2 other adults, and 1 dog, you'd book as 4 guests." My extra guest fee is set for any guest above 1.I have brand new carpet in the rental "D" requested. I accept pet guests only on a case-by-case basis because I have a Service Dog and his comfort and health are more important. I would not have accepted this booking if it was honest from the start.I like to keep this particular rental for solo or couple travelers - it's a little bedroom with a full size bed. There would not be room for a dog crate, let alone two. I offer an attached (not included) "closet" bedroom for guests to hang clothes or place luggage if they wish, as a courtesy. I don't mention the extra space in my listing purposely so it cannot be used against me later - I've had a guest treat 2 bedrooms like their own "because there wasn't a guest in the other room." My point here is simply that to accommodate this situation based on what I have, would requires me to let the guest use the attached room next door. A pet or extra guest fee makes that more doable. ("D" rented my work-listed room with a desk in it.) I also provide breakfast and have a moderate cancellation policy.Airbnb advised me to put in an alteration request for the correct total. The guest declined the request, stating "that's above my current budget." He sent in another alteration request for a much lower sum, which I did not accept.The guest cancelled his booking an hour before check-in. He was refunded about half of his booking total. He then sent me a refund request for the remaining $100. I declined it. He immediately started messaging me through the app, "How do you feel comfortable taking money you didn't earn?"I replied to "Please see notes on refund declination." Which did have detailed notes, guest booked as 1 guest, fee is this, etc."D" continues to message me all night. I didn't check until this morning. He says, "You didn't earn anything, I didn't even move in?" "I tried to change my reservation and you refused. I tried getting a refund and you are refusing. Hopefully someone returns the kind gestures to you or a family member."He continues, "You stole my money." "You didn't earn $100 for doing nothing." "The only reason I couldn't cancel is you wouldn't respond to my messages in time." "What you don't understand is I paid for services I never received yet you still want to take all the money. Who does that with a conscience?"I replied "I encourage you to research both the hosting and guest cancellation and refund rules."He replies "So you're really comfortable taking my money under those circumstances. Smh."Hm. Yeah, I am. This guest was more work than my last 4 guests combined, without ever setting foot on my property. I did all my required work before his visit. I prepared food, I do that in advance and freeze if I can. If he wasn't harassing me or if it wouldn't have been straight ridiculous, I might have refunded him or at least a bit more. He has wasted hours of my life now and doesn't seem to be stopping. He also left me a review which I have to also do to see his "until Airbnb receives the ticket." I'm a Superhost and statistically my cleanliness has to be above 4.7, I noticed it's now below that despite my 3 guests over the weekend all leaving all 5 star reviews. I suspect that this review will get removed, but I don't even know what it says yet. Do I write "guest threatened my family" on his review? Ugh. This guy has my address and I do not like that. Airbnb even sent me the arbitrary "contact local police or emergency services" if I feel threatened, message. Ugh.TL, DR; Guest booked a room over the weekend, guest waited a couple days and decided to inform me of his 2 additional guests 2 hours before check-in, guest was sent an alteration request to cover the stay and he declined it, and guest canceled an hour before check-in. Now guest is continuing to harass me via Airbnb app and Airbnb support transferred the case to a different department.Edit: werd spelz Get $20 off your first AirBnB stay.

[themoneybuff-blog]

Is OnTrajectory the best retirement calculator?

My colleagues, who are money nerds just like me, know that I'm obsessed with finding the best retirement calculator. I've been on this quest for years. As you'll learn later this week, my favorite retirement tool is (and has been) NewRetirement. But there are other great tools out there. You really need to try OnTrajectory, Jillian from Montana Money Adventures told me last summer. It's great. She's been telling me that over and over ever since. (Meanwhile, Gwen from Fiery Millennials has also been pressuring me to try OnTrajectory.) Last week, at long last, I had a chance to chat with Tyson Koska, the founder of OnTrajectory. During a 30-minute call, he walked me through setting up an account and playing with the tool's features. I'm impressed. NewRetirement is still my favorite tool, but OnTrajectory is damn close. And I can see how for some people, the latter may actually be a better choice. Today, let's take a look at what makes OnTrajectory one of the best retirement calculators available on the web. How OnTrajectory Started The OnTrajectory origin story is similar to that of You Need a Budget. Koska spent decades looking for a tool that would give him a high-level view of his financial future. I couldn't find one that I liked, he says. He didn't like their assumptions. He didn't like their interfaces. He didn't like their limited functionality. Eventually, he took matters into his own hands. He built a complex spreadsheet to explore different variables and what-if scenarios. From there, he began coding Excel macros and small software tools. Over time, the current version of OnTrajectory evolved from his experimentation. Just as YNAB grew out of Jesse Mecham's desire to build himself the perfect budgeting tool, OnTrajectory is a product of Koska's quest for the perfect retirement calculator. Over the years, it's morphed from a simple spreadsheet to a complex tool with a distinctive look and feel. OnTrajectory is all about this graph:

That graph really dominates your tool, I told Koska on our call. Exactly, he said. That's the whole point. That graph is always present at the top of your screen to show you your trajectory. Any time you make an adjustment to your assumptions any time that graph gets updated. Because Koska considers himself a part of the growing FIRE community the group of folks who is interested in financial independence and early retirement OnTrajectory is built with their needs in mind. You want to retire by 40? Fine. OnTrajectory can handle that. You want some absurd saving rate like 90%? No problem. You can model pretty much any scenario you can imagine. Getting Started It's easy to get started with OnTrajectory. Once you provide login credentials, you're given two choices: A quick-start wizard that asks only three questions before launching you into the tool.A more comprehensive guided entry process during which you manually enter your income, expenses, and existing investment accounts. The former is quick and easy. The latter provides better results. As you can probably guess, I'm not a quick-start wizard sort of guy. I opted to use the longer guided entry process. It didn't take anywhere near the 30-minute projected time. (But that's probably because I already had my financial info gathered in one place.)

During the set-up process, OnTrajectory asks questions about your existing financial infrastructure and your goals for the future. It uses this info to populate three of its five navigation tabs. The guided entry asks you to: Designate expected income, including regular salary, Social Security, pensions, rental income, and so on.Specify large, recurring expenses such as vehicle payments, housing payment, insurance premiums, property taxes, and the like.Enter current balances of major financial accounts like your Roth IRA and 401(k), regular brokerage accounts, and your bank accounts. (OnTrajectory does not automatically connect to your accounts. You must enter this info manually.) You can add to or alter these numbers at any time. They're not set in stone, so don't be afraid of making mistakes. OnTrajectory is free to use for fourteen days. (You don't even need to enter credit card info, which is awesome!) If you'd like to continue using the tool, however, you have to subscribe at $4.99/month (or $49/year).

Using OnTrajectory OnTrajectory seems simple at first, but the more I worked with it, the more I appreciated how it handles complexity. One of its strengths, for instance, is the ability to plot a variety of possible futures. Our lives are dominated by uncertainty. Sure, there are likely paths that lie before each one of us, but there's plenty we don't know. Plus, a few times each decade, we reach major forks in the road to our future. Do I take this job or that job? Do I move to Savannah, Georgia or do I remain in Portland, Oregon? Should I draw Social Security at age 62 or wait until I can get maximum benefits at age 70? Normally, it's tough to predict how your decisions will affect your financial future. With OnTrajectory, however, it's simple to explore these alternate dimensions. You can toggle any parameter at any time. Here, for instance, is a list of my potential income sources. I've included working at the family box factory, two possible income levels from this website, eventual Social Security payments, and a potential inheritance from my mother.

In Personal Capital, it's nice that you can add or remove various events to see how doing so affects your future. But if you remove an event, it's gone. You can't save it. With OnTrajectory, you just toggle a button to see the difference. If you want to add, say, an inheritance back into the equation, you just click the button once more. What this means from a practical perspective is that you can enter several possible scenarios/events that you deem likely, then explore different possible futures. This is a very handy feature.

OnTrajectory also allows you to play with the assumptions under the hood. Three key variables are always instantly accessible: your retirement age, your Trajectory End Age (a.k.a. your projected date of death), and a projected inflation rate. (The default inflation rate in OnTrajectory is 3.00%. That's just slightly optimistic for me. I chose to change it to 3.18%, which is the U.S. long-term average. If I were extremely pessimistic, I might change it to something like 4.08%, which I think is the 50-year moving average but don't quote me.) You can also play with tax rates, investment contributions, investment returns, and more. As you might have noticed, you can enter start ages and end ages for most line items. If you want to explore different possible paths, you can enter additional age range possibilities without deleting your original item. Then you just toggle between the two lines to see the effects of, say, working longer.

OnTrajectory allows you to set specific goals, such as I want my Trajectory to reach $1,500,000. These goals then get plotted on your Trajectory graph. For instance, if I want to know when my net worth Trajectory will hit $1,500,000, the app will plot it on the ever-present graph. In this particular case, it says I should hit that goal on 11 November 2029.

So, as you can see, OnTrajectory is very similar to a lot of other retirement calculators out there except that it takes things to the next level. Anything the Personal Capital retirement tool can do, OnTrajectory can do better. But wait! That's not all! OnTrajectory also allows users to create and print a variety of PDF reports. It includes a handy inflation calculator. And there's a nascent OnTrajectory community on Reddit where you can ask questions and share ideas. Having said all of that, OnTrajectory isn't perfect. Problems with OnTrajectory As much as I love OnTrajectory, there's one key piece of the tool that I hate: the terminology. For me, it's confusing. In this tool's parlance, your Trajectory is your projected future financial path. And your Trajectory for any given date is your net worth on that date. That makes total sense, right?

But individual accounts can have trajectories too. If my 401(k) has a Trajectory of $246,136 today, that's its balance today. So, maybe Trajectory actually means balance? I don't know. I'm confused.

Things get more confusing after you've been using the tool for a while. Your Trajectory is based on your initial parameters, not your current situation. The tool does plot a trajectory projection based on your current situation, but your Trajectory (with a capital T) is based on your starting assumptions. (There's a logic behind this. OnTrajectory uses the Monte Carlo method to look into the future. It assumes that your current situation is one point on many possible projected paths, and that your circumstances will very likely be subject to reversion to the mean. By basing your Trajectory on your starting circumstances rather than your current circumstances which generally improve with time it's providing a more conservative/cautious approach to retirement planning.) I understand that OnTrajectory uses the term trajectory to stay on-brand, but for somebody like me it creates more confusion than clarity. I'd prefer that existing standard definitions were used. If your Trajectory is your net worth, then call it your net worth. If Trajectory simply means balance, then use the word balance. OnTrajectory is a fine name for the tool, but I don't see the need to cloud the issue by getting cute with naming conventions. That's my main beef with OnTrajectory, but it has other minor quirks too. There's a Default Investments account that cannot be deleted. (It's meant to be a catch-all for stray cash, I think. This is sort of like the petty cash account I use in Quicken.)

While attempting to enter my Basic Expenses line item, OnTrajectory refused to let me set its End Age to 79 (my projected end of life); it only let me set it to 78. (I was able to set everything else to 79 but not my Basic Expenses. Weird.) As a result, OnTrajectory believes I have $0 expenses during the last year of my life haha.At one point, the OnTrajectory graph simply disappeared. I changed my projected date of death (or Trajectory End Age in the program's terms) and the graph vanished. I couldn't get it to come back. After trying a bunch of different things, I clicked the Undo button. I'm not sure what action I undid, but pressing the button brought back the graph. To me, these minor quirks don't affect my overall impression of OnTrajectory. They're bugs (or features I don't like). They're likely to go away in the future. The terminology thing drives me nuts, but I suspect I might be the only person who is bothered by it. And it's not enough to dampen my enthusiasm for this tool. The Bottom Line So far, OnTrajectory is the best traditional retirement calculator I've found. (As I said, I like NewRetirement better, but it takes a different approach.) It's a comprehensive, complex tool but the interface is never overwhelming. If the interface does become overwhelming or confusing, OnTrajectory features extensive (and useful) documentation. In nearly every section of the screen, you can click on a little info button to bring up the on-line manual. This guide provides answers and tips on all of the functions and features. Impressive.

For me, the killer feature is that OnTrajectory not only allows you to save your data, but also to create and save multiple scenarios. You don't have to re-enter your data each time you want to check on your progress. And if you want to play with possibilities what if I were to quit my job and take a more meaningful non-profit position? it's super simple to do sowithout trashing your existing info! We're all about the what-ifs, Koska told me during our call last week. OnTrajectory is specifically designed to let users explore possible futures. We let people play with a lot of variables, but our goal is for the interface to never become overwhelming. The bottom line? OnTrajectory is like the Personal Capital retirement calculator on steroids. It has everything I like about the PC tool, but is much more customizable. In fact, I like it so much that I signed up for a paid account!

Author: J.D. Roth In 2006, J.D. founded Get Rich Slowly to document his quest to get out of debt. Over time, he learned how to save and how to invest. Today, he's managed to reach early retirement! He wants to help you master your money and your life. No scams. No gimmicks. Just smart money advice to help you reach your goals. https://www.getrichslowly.org/ontrajectory-retirement-calculator/

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Huawei Mate Xs Review: Folding Marvel, Frustrating Flaws

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Huawei Mate Xs Review: Folding Marvel, Frustrating Flaws

"The Huawei Mate Xs is a technical master class that is affected by faulty software and a disappointing speaker."

Excellent construction

Can be used both folded and unfolded

Nice screen

Quick charge

Useful multitasking functions

Excellent camera

Unreliable software

No Google Mobile Services

Bad audio

Very expensive

Shelf life is unknown

Smartphones are usually easy to check. For example, the shape and general functionality rarely change drastically. However, the Huawei Mate Xs is not easy. Not only is it completely different from most other phones because it folds up, but also because it costs £ 2,300 or about $ 2,750 and has no Google mobile services on board.

Still, it remains a convincing phone, and it's impossible to ignore the dramatic benefits that come with owning it. They range from the viewing experience to the camera to the cache for using such a futuristic phone. There are frustrating elements, but I never wanted to stop using the Mate Xs.

design

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

The Huawei Mate Xs is what many people would consider a real folding smartphone because it looks and works like a normal smartphone before it unfolds into a tablet. This way you can quickly send a message with one or two hands at any time without opening the phone or watch a video on the big screen. To achieve this, the large screen of the Mate Xs can be folded back on itself and becomes "normal size" until it is needed again.

I found that under normal circumstances I didn't have to flip the screen open and typing when the phone is closed is easier as it is just like any other large, modern smartphone. This versatility – phone in one minute, tablet in the next – is addictive, and the return to a non-collapsible phone is restrictive. It's also less noticeable when you use the phone in public, unlike the Galaxy Fold, which has to be unfolded to be really useful. This comes in handy if you don't want to draw attention to the fact that you're using a $ 2,750 smartphone.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

A rail on the right side of the phone has a button that can be used to release the screen from its collapsed position. It's easy to look with your index finger without looking, but you need two hands to unfold the Mate Xs. The central hinge has a wonderful, firm and high quality effect with just the right resistance. It snaps into place without much fuss and remains completely flat after completion.

This is a big deal because if it were only a few degrees away from flatness, the screen would look poorly constructed. Regardless of whether you look at the Mate Xs screen folded or unfolded, it always looks just right. There is a crease, but it is hardly noticeable when you look directly at the phone.

When folded, the lines are clear, as the back of the screen folds flat against the rail and creates a thick piece of smartphone that you can hold. It is 11 mm thick, closed and only 5.4 mm thick at the thinnest point. At 300 grams, however, this is one of the heaviest smartphones currently available.

When closed, it is slippery due to the rounded sides and the lack of grip. You can use it closed with one hand, but you must hold the phone firmly. I mostly used it like the Galaxy Note 10 Plus and other large phones, holding it in one hand and wiping it with the other. When opened, the vertical rail on the right becomes an excellent stopping point and an inspired design piece.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

How about durability? The design and materials of the screen have been improved over the Mate X, but there is still concern that the exposed screen will be destroyed quickly. I have been using the Mate Xs with other devices for a few weeks now. The screen has collected a few small scratches on which it bends sideways. However, I cannot immediately notice them when the screen is on.

Whether it collects more scratches will only become apparent over time, as will the hinge. It has eased somewhat in recent weeks, but remains firm.

screen

Using the Mate Xs with the screen closed is like any other Huawei smartphone. The 6.6-inch OLED has a resolution of 2480 x 1148 pixels and shows strong, dynamic colors with excellent clarity right down to the app icons on your home screen.

Compare it to the stunning screen of the iPhone 11 Pro, and the Mate Xs really questions its superiority. It produces the same natural tones that make the Apple phone screen a winner, and then adds a pleasant saturation to give it a visual boost. It is wonderful.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

The fully unfolded 8-inch screen with 2480 x 2200 pixels differs in some respects from the Galaxy Fold. Both are amazingly sharp when playing 1440p videos, with the Mate Xs again showing a little more liveliness than its competitors, but missing some of the richer, more natural tones. The unfolded Mate Xs offer you a fantastic video experience, but with black bars above and below the picture.

I can live with the black bars, but not with the Mate X's frankly terrible speaker. It's a single speaker on one side of the device, and it can't come close to the excellent audio experience of the Galaxy Fold and most other flagship phones. It's a big disappointment for such an expensive video focus device.

Samsung Galaxy Fold (left), Huawei Mate Xs (right) Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Since the phone only consists of screens with partially deactivated areas when folded, some problems with touch sensitivity occur when using the phone in the closed landscape format. Buttons near the fold may stop responding until you adjust your touch point, and scrubbing through videos can be frustratingly difficult to activate. However, there is no such problem on all other sides of the phone.

Visually, the Mate Xs with its beautiful, perfectly calibrated screen exceeds expectations, but due to the poor audio experience it does not become a dream partner for mobile films.

camera

There are four camera sensors on the Mate X, all of which are positioned in the side rail on the back of the phone. The main lens has 40 megapixels and an aperture of 1: 1.8 and is complemented by an ultra-wide 16 megapixel lens, an 8 megapixel telephoto lens and a flight time sensor.

You won't find a dedicated selfie camera with the main lenses doing selfie tasks as you turn the phone. This will activate the screen on the back so you can see what's going on. It's a clever, simple solution and can be used when taking photos of other people so they can review their pose.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

The camera can be used with the screen open or closed, and the app interface is changed to be more suitable for the larger screen. The app offers a wide-angle shooting mode, a 3x optical zoom and a 5x hybrid zoom. There is also Huawei's night mode, both portrait and aperture mode for images with a bokeh effect, as well as a macro mode.

Up to 4K 60fps can be recorded for videos. Huawei collaborates with Leica on its cameras, and there are several Leica camera modes to choose from that work similar to conventional filters and give photos a unique Leica look.

I love the photos taken with the Mate Xs. The color balance, vibrancy, details and tone are expertly assessed to ensure that the scenes have atmosphere and emotions. The Leica filters can be cumbersome, but when used carefully they give nice results. Edge detection in portrait and aperture modes is excellent, and even super macro mode works well. 3x and 5x zoom shots are great, but the 50x digital zoom is only for display because the photos taken are pixelated.

Above all, I like the reliability. Regardless of the situation, I know that the Mate Xs will make a great, usable photo for me. The lack of a selfie camera is a problem: there is no face unlock on the Mate Xs. The power switch on the side has a fingerprint sensor that is relatively fast and reliable. However, I miss the convenience of face unlocking, especially when there are problems with notifications that I'll talk about next.

Given Huawei's track record with cameras since the P20 Pro, it should come as no surprise that the Mate X's camera works so well. Quality is one thing, but I also think that the different modes, the artificial intelligence and the simplicity of the app increase my creativity so much that I just like to take photos with the phone to see what I can get. For me, this is the hallmark of a great camera.

Software and connection

Google Mobile Services (GMS) is not installed on the Mate Xs. Therefore, you need to use the Huawei App Gallery, Amazon App Store or APK files to transfer your favorite apps to the device. I've tried a few workarounds to get GMS on the Mate Xs, but none of the easy routes work, and although there are more technical routes that work, they may have questionable effects on the phone. I found that the more apps I installed from alternative sources, the less reliable the app became.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Using the methods above, I installed most of the apps I need. However, for almost all Google services you need to use a browser. I chose Firefox so that I can easily sync all my bookmarks with Chrome, although you can install Chrome with an APK, just like with Google Maps. The problem with this, however, is that you can't sign in to your Google Account to use saved places or bookmarks.

There is another problem with downloading apps from the Amazon App Store and APK files that has to do with notification support. It's random at best, as the Mate Xs almost never provide Twitter or Messenger notifications.

The usually reliable Huawei email client became problematic even after a software update and often refused to sync my Exchange account. I could use WhatsApp, but not with my chat history. What was worse was that Line Messenger, an app that I use a lot, does not work and there is no mobile payment system. The app situation on the Mate Xs and P40 is so complex that I wrote a completely separate article about it.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Another annoying change is the inability to use an app drawer on the Mate Xs. This is not the case with the Huawei P40 or any other EMUI 10-based phone I use. However, there is no alternative here to distribute all of your apps across multiple home screens. The software is sometimes unreliable. Some apps can only be opened after the phone has been restarted, and the search function in the settings does not always work.

Finally, the Today pop-up is not very helpful. It only contains a few shortcuts, the screen time and a list of messages. Even worse, all messages came from sources behind a paywall, making them completely useless for those without a subscription. Coincidentally (or not) the stories from news UK publications, a group that recently partnered with Huawei to add their apps to the App Gallery, have been merged.

What about the good things? EMUI 10.1, based on Open Source Android 10, is smooth and fast, and tailored to make switching between screens on the Mate X seamless and comfortable. It works really well. Regardless of whether you expand the "Settings" window, the e-mail client or the browser, it is adapted immediately and attractively, so that you have more screen space and more control. The gesture control system also responds. I like the indicators on the sides of the screen that indicate that your swipe gesture has been recognized, and the system-wide dark mode looks brilliant.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Huawei's multitasking is also top notch. Swipe and hold the page for a second to bring up a quick launch bar with apps. Then drag the displayed apps. If you simply tap an app in the bar, it will appear as a floating window.

The large, square screen is very suitable for productivity. The SwiftKey keyboard is standard, but Gboard can be installed as an alternative. I don't like SwiftKey because of its massive keys, desperation to register, and crowded keyboard layout.

However, it does have a split screen where the thumb can be entered when the screen is open that Gboard doesn't have, so I have to use it more often. However, the split screen has to be activated manually and won't return to normal view when you close the phone – another thing you should hate about SwiftKey.

Unfortunately, the software on the Mate Xs frustrated me more than on other Huawei phones, including the new Huawei P40. Some changes felt like a step backwards while others still felt like a work-in-progress, making me less willing to accept the changes I need to make to live without access to Google Play. While Huawei can't fix this aspect of the Mate Xs, the other parts are in good control and can change with future software updates.

Battery and power

Inside is a Kirin 990 chipset with an integrated 5G modem, 8 GB RAM and 512 GB storage space as well as a second 4G SIM slot. A 4,500 mAh battery supplies the Mate Xs with power and is charged using the supplied 55 W charger, which, however, cannot be charged wirelessly. The superb SuperCharge system fully charged the battery in 55 minutes after 30 minutes to reach 80%. With a few photos, games, surfing and about 30 minutes of video, the battery has enough power to last a whole day.

I was able to perform the following benchmarking tests based on the apps available to me. The results show that it is next to the LG G8X dual screen, but far behind powerhouses like the Galaxy Note 10 Plus. The results come from apps that are not available in the app gallery, which may have affected the results. In my opinion, this does not show the absolute performance of the Kirin 990, which has proven to be strong and fast in every situation.

3DMark 2,791 (volcano)

Geekbench 5: 2693 multi-core, 761 single-core

Games play well and the Mate Xs has effective cooling so the phone doesn't get hot. In contrast to the Galaxy Fold, games can be played with the phone folded or opened. However, note that when playing some games on the larger screen, some cropping takes place due to the aspect ratio. This is noticeable in asphalt legends and games like Hill Climb Racer. but not for games with vertical alignment like Cut the Rope 2.

Andy Boxall / DigitalTrends

Network reception and performance are often only mentioned when it comes to garbage. However, the Mate Xs should be recognized for their first-class ability to receive a signal. Switching from the Galaxy Fold with poor reception shows how much better the integrated 5G modem can detect a 5G signal. The reception is great across the board. The 4G performance in my region is significantly better than some other phones.

Price, availability and guarantee

The Huawei Mate Xs costs £ 2,300, which is around $ 2,750. It is available through Huawei itself, Carphone Warehouse and in a contract with Three UK. Huawei grants a two-year warranty in the UK. The Mate Xs is not sold in the United States, but can be bought as an import.

Our opinion

The Mate Xs is almost the most expensive smartphone from a mainstream manufacturer that you can buy today. The cost can be justified in part by the amount of cutting-edge technology in terms of design, screen, and hinge, but is much more difficult to justify when considering software vulnerabilities and audio trash. The Mate Xs is impressively versatile, has a strong battery and performance, a beautiful screen and is equipped with an excellent camera. This makes it a great everyday companion that is fun.

Is there a better alternative?

The next competitor is the Samsung Galaxy Fold, valued at $ 1,900. It can be folded inwards rather than outwards. Although there is an outer display, it is too small to be used for much more than displaying notifications or Google Maps. However, it does have Google Mobile Services on board, the camera is also very good, and the audio is better than that of the Mate Xs. On the other hand, it's not only flawed because of the outer screen, but also because of its bulky design. The Huawei Mate Xs is the better folding phone.

If you just want a big screen smartphone, the 6.4-inch Samsung Galaxy S20 Ultra is $ 1,400 and the 6.5-inch iPhone 11 Pro Max is $ 1,100. I would probably go for the $ 1,100 Samsung Galaxy Note 10 Plus, which offers many features of the S20 Ultra as well as the S Pen pen at a cheaper price.

The Huawei Mate Xs is the better folding phone.

If you boast with a folding phone and want to spend less, the $ 1,400 Galaxy Z Flip is another option, though again, this is a different offer than the Mate Xs because it has a normal 6.5-inch screen, which can be halved for easy transportation and convenience.

If you want something bizarre, check out the cheaper LG G8X Dual Screen, which offers some great multitasking benefits, is a lot harder than the Mate Xs, and also has a great price.

How long it will take?

The Mate Xs isn't waterproof, so you need to be careful with it, and you'll likely be concerned about the screen's durability, despite Huawei's assurances that it's more robust than the first-generation model. Treat it badly and it will likely get scratched, but that's true of almost every phone. Huawei regularly provides updates for EMUI, but it is not known how long it will take for Android 11 or higher to appear on a current Huawei phone.

If you buy it now, you have one of the most modern, futuristic smartphones currently available, and this ensures that it stays fresh and powerful for many years. Huawei has numerous software and hardware improvements that ensure that the software runs smoothly and the capacity of the battery is optimally used.

Yes, you will spend a fortune to get one. Assuming you can now live with the lack of Google Apps, the Mate Xs will serve you very well in the coming years. During this time, Huawei promises improvements to the app gallery so that it could become more accessible to international audiences in the coming months.

Should you buy it

No, but not for the reasons you might think. The lack of Google Apps is a problem, especially when you're deep in the Google ecosystem. However, for many people, little adjustment may be required to cope with it on a daily basis. Instead, it is other aspects of the Mate Xs that make it difficult to recommend. The audio is disappointing, and the unreliable software doesn't meet my expectations for Huawei, so it doesn't live up to the expectations you'd get after paying the extremely high price.

Editor's recommendations

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[marymosley]

Letting the Jury Know about “Collateral” Consequences of a Conviction

Under North Carolina law a criminal defendant has the right to inform the jury of the punishment for the crime being tried. In State v. McMorris, 290 N.C. 286 (1976), the North Carolina Supreme Court traced this right back to the mid-19th century. Back then, the legislature took umbrage at a judge’s refusal to allow a lawyer to argue both the law and facts to the jury and enacted what is now G.S. 7A-97. That statute states that “the whole case as well of law as of fact may be argued to the jury.” The Supreme Court in McMorris held that this provision gave the defendant the right to inform the jury of the statutory punishment in the case. The Court observed: “In a real sense the sanction prescribed for criminal behavior is part of the law of the case.” 290 N.C. at 287.

This basic right obviously has deep roots. How does it apply to the many and varied sanctions that have sprouted up in the law, including collateral sanctions for crimes? In State v. Prestwood, 211 N.C. App. 198 (2011) (unpublished), the Court of Appeals addressed one such sanction—sex offender registration—and held that the defendant has the right to inform the jury of that consequence in the trial of an offense triggering registration. I learned of the decision in readying the latest edition of the North Carolina Defender Manual (more on that below). Although the decision is a few years old, it strikes me as an important addition to the criminal law’s treatment of collateral consequences of a conviction.

In Prestwood, the defendant was charged with three counts of sexual battery against three female students at a school they all attended. The defendant was 16 years old, the female students were 16 and 17 years old. Defendant Appellant’s Brief at 3 (Nov. 29, 2010). All were students in a class for children with behavioral problems. Slip Op. at 1–2. Defendant’s counsel attempted to inform the jury that, if convicted of sexual battery, the defendant would be required to register as a sex offender. The State objected, and the trial court sustained the objection. After the judge instructed the jury about the offense, defendant’s counsel asked to readdress the jury to let the jurors know of the consequences of a conviction of sexual battery. The judge denied the request, and the jury convicted the defendant of all three counts.

The Court of Appeals held that the defendant had the right to inform the jury of the registration consequences for sexual battery and that the trial judge erred in refusing to let the defendant do so. The Court relied on the language of G.S. 7A-97 and the reasoning of cases interpreting it. The Court recognized that the provision does not permit the defendant to question the appropriateness of the punishment or argue that because of its severity the jury should acquit. In other words, the defendant cannot argue for jury nullification. However, the defendant has the right “‘to encourage the jury to give the matter its close attention and to decide it only after due and careful consideration.’” Slip Op. at 6, quoting McMorris, 290 N.C. at 288. Informing the jury of mandatory registration consequences is part of that right. Slip Op. at 7.

The holding may at first seem surprising given other decisions on sex offender registration consequences. The courts in North Carolina and elsewhere have resisted characterizing sex offender registration as punishment. Doing so would trigger a host of criminal law protections, such as constitutional protections against double punishment under the Double Jeopardy Clause and retroactive imposition of punishment under the Ex Post Facto Clause. The decision is consistent, however, with the growing recognition of the impact of collateral consequences. Whether characterized as criminal or civil, direct or collateral, they can be as or more significant than the criminal sentence itself. See, e.g., Padilla v. Kentucky, 559 U.S. 356 (2010) (finding it unnecessary to decide whether mandatory deportation following a conviction is a direct or collateral consequence; regardless of how characterized, defense counsel has a duty to advise criminal defendants about mandatory deportation as part of counsel’s Sixth Amendment obligation to provide effective assistance of counsel).

The disparity between the possible “criminal” sentence and mandatory “collateral” registration consequences is particularly striking in cases involving sexual battery charges. On the criminal side, sexual battery is a misdemeanor only, punishable by no more than 150 days imprisonment per count and, under the consecutive sentence limits in misdemeanor cases, no more than 300 days for multiple counts. In contrast on the collateral side, a person convicted of sexual battery is automatically required to register as a sex offender for at least 10 years; is subject to numerous other prohibitions and requirements, such as residence restrictions and detailed notification obligations; and faces felony charges for violations. A jury could well conclude that the offense is relatively minor if only aware of the criminal sentence. Allowing the defendant to include information about registration consequences “serves the salutary purpose of impressing upon the jury the gravity of its duty.” McMorris, 290 N.C. at 288; see also State v. Hartley, 212 N.C. App. 1, 18 (2011) (recognizing that purpose of instruction on mandatory commitment procedures in cases involving insanity defense is to eliminate confusion or uncertainty by jury regarding fate of accused if found insane and remove hesitancy in returning verdict of not guilty by reason of insanity based on fear that the defendant would be released into the community).

The Court in Prestwood concluded that the trial judge’s error did not prejudice the defendant in the circumstances of the case. Assessing the evidence presented, the Court found that there was no reasonable possibility that the jury would have reached a different result had the trial judge allowed the defendant to inform the jury of the consequences of conviction. Slip Op. at 7–8. I have reservations about this aspect of the Court’s opinion. One of the three counts involved the touching of a female student on her thigh. I don’t believe that touching that part of the body constitutes “sexual contact” within the meaning of our sexual assault laws. See G.S. 14-27.20(5) (defining sexual contact); G.S. 14-27.33 (requiring sexual contact for sexual battery). The other two counts involved sexual contact—touching the vaginal area of one student and the breasts of another student over their clothes—but the evidence was unclear or at least not conclusive that the defendant engaged in this contact “by force,” another element of sexual battery. See State v. Raines, 72 N.C. App. 300 (1985) (holding that force in sexual offense and kindred cases requires physical or constructive force separate from sexual act); see also State v. Brown, 332 N.C. 262 (1992) (stating that defendant must use “force sufficient to overcome any resistance the victim might make”; Frye, J., concurring, states that a surprise attack meets this definition).

Because Prestwood is unpublished, it does not constitute controlling authority and may not be well known in any event. Therefore, if defense counsel wants to inform the jury of the registration consequences of sexual battery and other offenses, counsel should consider making a motion to the trial judge ahead of time. Although Prestwood recognizes that the defendant has the right to inform the jury of mandatory registration consequences, counsel also may want to indicate why the information would make a difference. The argument is not that the jury should let the defendant off the hook. Rather, the argument is that the information will reinforce to the jury the importance of carefully considering disputed evidence and elements.

I want to thank Julie Lewis for letting me know about this case. An assistant public defender in Mecklenburg County as well as a legal wizard, she is the lead author of Volume 2 of the North Carolina Defender Manual, which focuses on trial procedure. All but one of the fifteen chapters have been revised and updated and are available online at no charge here. A complete, soft-bound edition will be available for sale this spring for those interested in a print version.

The post Letting the Jury Know about “Collateral” Consequences of a Conviction appeared first on North Carolina Criminal Law.

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How to Troubleshoot Your Slow PC

Credit: Cody Berg/Pexels.com

Speeding up a slow PC can be a challenge, particularly when dealing with older hardware that may be on the cusp of needing an upgrade or replacement anyway. Sometimes, a system simply needs a fresh OS install or driver update to perform significantly better. In other cases, upgrade or wholesale replacement are necessary.

This article is designed to help you troubleshoot a slow machine. Specifically, it walks through the process of determining whether your problem is more likely to be caused by software, hardware, or simply the age of the machine. I’ll address the topic of what to upgrade (and when a machine is worth upgrading) in a separate article.

Top Level Questions

Whether you are doing this for someone else or for yourself, here are a few “big picture” questions to consider:

Has the system’s performance changed recently? If the answer to this is “Yes,” did it change when you installed a specific application or OS update?

Has the entire PC slowed down, or just specific applications? If the problem is isolated to one app or a specific group of apps, have those applications been recently updated or modified?

Does the machine feel sluggish and slow to respond to feedback like typing? Does it have this problem in all cases, or only when certain programs are running? Does it have the same lag if booted in Safe Mode?

Does the system begin to run slowly after a few minutes of work or gaming, or is it slow from boot?

Is the system just slow, or is it also unstable? If it crashes, is there a specific application or application(s) that makes this happen reliably?

I ask these questions even before I ask for the make and model of the PC or specific information about its components. Knowing the age, model, and intended purpose of the machine are all important. But age, especially in desktops, just doesn’t mean what it used to. My media center PC downstairs is built on a Core i7-920. It’ll turn 10 this year and still works perfectly.

It’s not enough to say that the system is running slowly. Where it’s running slowly (or displaying other issues) tells us something about why these things are happening.

How Do I Tell If My PC Is “Just” Slow?

A PC that’s “just slow” shouldn’t have any other real problems apart from the lack of performance. You should have a feel for how long it’ll take to open a webpage or launch a game, and you shouldn’t see any unexplained variation in those times or particular instability when performing them. A slow PC may thrash the hard drive if you ask it to open too many browser tabs simultaneously, but there should be a reasonable and predictable (to you) relationship between how much work you are asking your PC

to do and how quickly it can do it. A machine that’s “just” slow shouldn’t have problems with pop-ups or persistent trojan and malware infections, and it shouldn’t be unstable.

If you’re a gamer on an old gaming PC, said system should still run the same games you bought it to play back then (with allowances for OS compatibility or driver issues). If you could run BioShock Infinite at 60fps on your current computer in 2013 you should be capable of running it today. If BioShock Infinite (or any other old game or application) plays and runs perfectly, but newer software doesn’t, you may be looking at a situation where you need to upgrade as opposed to dealing with an underlying hardware or software problem.

Any PC still using a magnetic HDD is going to feel slower than a PC equipped with a SATA or M.2-based SSD. Any PC with less than 4GB of RAM is going to struggle at least some of the time under even moderate workloads. 8GB should be considered a minimum for any modern gaming. Dual-core CPUs without Hyper-Threading or SMT and CPUs based on Intel’s Pentium, Celeron, or Atom product lines are more likely to “feel” slow, even if the system is well-configured. Systems based on old AMD CPUs from the Phenom II era or the Bulldozer/Piledriver product families do not offer particularly high performance.

A system that was brand-new in 2013 and hasn’t been upgraded since shouldn’t feel like the latest-and-greatest in 2020 — but it shouldn’t be riddled with unexplained performance drops or errata, either.

Hunting Software Problems

Performance problems are more likely to be software-related if they are associated with an underlying change to the OS or target application. If you’ve been gaming with no problems but recently bought your first new title in months, your GPU drivers may need to be updated to play it appropriately. It’s never a bad idea to check the minimum specifications for a new title to make sure you meet them: If you’ve got a GTX 480 and the game recommends a GTX 770 as a minimum card, you may well have found the cause of your problem.

Similarly, if you have an older system and you are having issues related to a specific subsystem (networking, sound, video), it may be worth updating your chipset and component drivers as well. The chance of this solving a problem is much higher if there’s an actual identified issue with what you’re using already, but I’ve had reinstalls clear up issues before from seemingly unrelated causes. It’s rare, but the chance isn’t zero.

Tools like Task Manager can sometimes be used to troubleshoot basic software problems with responsiveness and performance. Consistently high CPU usage may indicate a problem with an application, especially if it’s a browser and especially if killing the process improves system responsiveness. Some browser extensions can cause higher CPU usage under certain circumstances.

When you check Task Manager for CPU usage, you can also check the Startup tab. Make sure you recognize the applications that are loaded and running. You may not recognize every process listed in the “Processes” tab, but look for suspicious names or random, nonsense strings of text. In some cases, this may be a sign you’ve been infected by malware — and malware can steal CPU and GPU time for cryptocurrency mining and harm overall perf.

Event Viewer may contain data related to a performance issue or slowdown, but honestly, it’s a crapshoot and interpreting Event Viewer isn’t all that easy for the common user. I’m not touching on it much here as a result.

If you are concerned that old 3D drivers might be hanging around on your rig and cluttering up its performance, tools like Display Driver Uninstaller can be used to completely remove these traces. I use DDU for reviews when testing AMD and Nvidia cards. Booting into Safe Mode, running the tool, and then booting back to Desktop adds some steps compared with just installing a newer driver. But if you’re trying to troubleshoot performance issues, DDU is a good way to ensure you’ve cleansed your metaphorical palate. If you are having issues with your sound card or network solution, it may be worth visiting your motherboard vendor to see if they’ve released updated drivers for these components, for example.

When all else fails, a full Windows reinstallation will almost always nuke any software-related problems and let you determine if a hardware upgrade is necessary. I try very hard not to take this step for obvious reasons — “Just reinstall Windows” is the kind of advice that cost US citizens millions when deployed as part of a scheme to lie to people about the state of their software. Most people do not want to go to the hassle of reinstalling Windows and losing their current data installations in the process. But if you are facing weird performance issues that you can’t lock down any other way, and you’ve tried the other steps discussed here, it’s one way to deal with the problem.

There is an exception to this. Sometimes, a Windows Update is responsible for changes to user systems that cause high CPU usage or break Start Menu functionality. Upgrading components or an entire PC is no guard against these sorts of failures. In these instances, even a full Windows reinstall may not fix the issue.

We’ve discussed the software side of the equation. Let’s talk about what which hardware issues are most likely to slow a PC. I’ve tossed in a fair bit of discussion about what component failure looks like in each case to illustrate the difference between the problems that sap performance and the problems that turn your computer into an expensive paperweight.

Hardware Failure Characteristics (and Which Ones Hurt Performance)

RAM: Failing RAM

can make a game run more slowly, but only if the CPU is still having some luck pulling data out of it at all. More commonly, applications just crash. The distinguishing characteristic of RAM failure is that there isn’t automatically a distinguishing characteristic. If the failure has occurred at a high memory address, you may only see the issue intermittently when you have a lot of programs loaded. It may happen mostly in games if games are what you typically run, but a RAM failure will pop up anywhere given enough time. Applications like MemTest86+ can be used to test RAM. MemTest86+ is the only RAM test I recommend — I’m not saying it’s the only good application available, but I’ve seen other RAM testers claim that memory was good when it actually wasn’t. I’ve never seen MemTest86+ throw a false positive or false negative.

GPU: A failing GPU may display odd colors and textures whenever you run a 3D application, or function perfectly for basic desktop work but fail if asked to render a video or play a 3D game. Using a third-party utility like MSI Afterburner may allow you to resolve the issue by either lowering the GPU/RAM clock or increasing the chip’s voltage, but these fixes tend to be temporary. Games may crash at load or may run for short periods of time. The problem may begin in a specific title, but it probably won’t stay isolated. A failing GPU may also refuse to install its own driver.

A GPU that runs perfectly for a long period of time before you start seeing errors or texture flickering may be overheating, but may not be damaged yet. Dust the system and see if that improves things. Many games offer benchmark modes for testing GPUs, and running these tests in a loop will often produce a failure, though it may take multiple loops through the test to see it happen.

GPU failures typically will not slow down the system, unless lowering the clocks yourself (temporarily) fixes the problem.

CPUs: CPU failures are difficult to categorize because CPUs

almost never fail. If your CPU’s performance is dropping, chances are it’s a thermal issue — either a mismounted heatsink or a thick build-up of dust. Make certain that your heatsink is properly mounted with an appropriate amount of TIM (thermal interface material) between the CPU and its heatsink.

Power Supply: One way to discover your PC PSU needs replacement is for it to burst into flames without warning. (Ask me how I know!) A far less terrifying method is for your machine to simply flip off or reboot during a gaming session or rendering run. In some cases, your motherboard may warn you that power delivery from the PSU was disrupted. Power supply failures can superficially resemble RAM failures, but MemTest86+ won’t return errors and the PSU won’t trip while running basic desktop tasks unless it’s truly having issues. In these cases, your motherboard may also report that one or more of the power rails is low. Bad PSUs often don’t cause slowdowns; they cause shutdowns.

Hard Drives: Mechanical spinning drives may click quietly and repeatedly when attempting to access certain parts of the drive, or I/O performance may drop badly when attempting to access data. Event Viewer may also log hardware failures if the OS can’t read data across the bus properly. SSDs

will not click (no moving parts), but they may display the same longer-than-expected access times or sharply reduced performance as the CPU tries to read data from damaged parts of the drive. In many cases, these types of failures will kill the drive altogether rather than leaving it limping along at a lower level of performance.

Low Storage Space: Not a “failure” as such, but it’s a hardware issue, not a software one. Windows generally does not like to run without hard drive space. The less free space you have, the less the OS likes it. This can lead to errors, application crashes, and cache thrashing, all of which harm performance.

Heat: I’ve decided to list “heat” as a common characteristic of hardware instability and lost perf, rather than breaking this out by CPU and GPU. Dust is an amazing insulator. Pack in enough of it and fans won’t even spin. I’ve lost count of how many gamers and readers I’ve met who were afraid they needed to buy new hardware, only to discover that dusting what they owned restored the performance they were missing. Laptops can be a little trickier to dust than PCs, but if you have a desktop and are experiencing instability while gaming, pop the side of your case off and see if things don’t improve. It’s no guarantee — but it’s not a hard thing to test, either.

A PC with issues in just one game or a handful of games may only need a driver update, especially if the titles are newer. A machine that never crashes during desktop or browser work but slows down and crashes during gaming may need to be dusted. When I run into people who are suffering PC crashes while gaming, one of my first pieces of advice is to take the side panel off their computer. The growing popularity of laptops for gaming has made this fix a little less applicable than it used to be, but you’d be amazed how many “unstable” PCs become stable if you just improve airflow. Dusting is obviously the best way to do this, but you can’t always take time from a raid instance or Fortnite game to hunt down a can of compressed air. Just taking a side panel off is a quick way to test this theory.

Systems are less likely to crash outright from high temperatures than they used to be, but throttling can still play merry hell with game performance. I always check thermals when I’m evaluating system behavior.

Of all the issues here, I’d say dust, driver updates, and low disk space are the three most common factors likely to cause slower-than-desired performance in the absence of hardware failure. Broken software can absolutely cause all manner of problems, but these cases tend to be specific and particular to the user in question (or the hardware in question) and are much harder to resolve in a general-purpose guide like this.

Questions? Tricky cases? Got a machine with an issue you can’t seem to fix? Drop it below.

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from ExtremeTechExtremeTech https://www.extremetech.com/computing/298645-how-to-troubleshoot-slow-pcs from Blogger http://componentplanet.blogspot.com/2020/05/how-to-troubleshoot-your-slow-pc.html