#i refuse to do the remix of the second set of songs until i get a superb in monkey watch. i'm not fucking resting until i get

[arcaneyouth]

I AM GOING TO GET A SUPERB IN MONKEY WATCH I DON'T CARE HOW LONG IT TAKES.

[what-is-your-plan-today]

Riding High

One Shot- Whamageddon

Summary: Frank loses a Christmas time bet…

Warnings: Bad Language words

Chapter Pairings:  Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: This is my first entry for @sweater-daddiesdumbdork and @sagechanoafterdark s Festive Writing Challenge. My prompt is- “Did you put antlers on the dog?” This takes place in the Riding High timeline, alongside Ch12- ILY which was their first Christmas together.  (FYI Whamageddon is a real thing that me and my friends play every year without fail...and its HARD!!!  https://www.whamageddon.com/)

Chapter Song:  Last Christmas by Wham

Series Masterlist //  Main Masterlist

Frank parked his truck in the space next to Fliss’ jeep and hopped out, making his way over the lawn to his apartment. That had been an awkward job, really awkward job if he was honest. It had taken him a lot longer than anticipated to locate the problem in the fuel pump, and at one point he was expecting to have to roll it over and finish in the morning which he really hadn’t wanted to do, as Saturdays were the one morning of the week he was able to lie in, uninterrupted and the thought of having to drag himself away from that pissed him right off. Thankfully, Bill had come to his rescue and collected Mary from school, dropping her with Fliss at the yard, something he knew Mary loved and Fliss seemed to enjoy too and it had given him the extra couple of hours he needed to finish up.

As a result whilst he was now tired, dirty, covered in grease and ready for a beer, he could relax that evening knowing he didn’t have to haul his ass out of bed at six am. He’d be able to at least sleep until Fliss’ alarm went off at eight. Mind you, even then he tended to go back to bed after they’d had breakfast, or nap on the couch until about fifteen minutes before Mary was due home. After all, he didn’t have horses to muck out and ride.

Fuck that.

As he traipsed up the steps to his apartment he could hear the sounds of Last Christmas by Wham playing and he cursed. “Fuck!” With a groan he pulled out his phone and opened up the group message, rolling his eyes in annoyance. He typed a single word “Whamageddon” and hit send. This was a game he and the boys played every year. It was a contest to see who could go the longest time over the holiday period without hearing that infernal fucking song. The rules were simple, you weren’t allowed to be a dick by tricking each other and sending messages, videos or emails containing it, and it had to be the original version, so covers, remixes and people singing it didn’t count. It also relied on all of them being honest enough to own up, but they were the Circle Of Truth after all. So far it had claimed Simon and Greg, leaving him and Jake in the running…and now he’d just lost meaning Jake won the forty-dollar pot. Mind you, the last 2 years they’d played it said forty-bucks had been used to purchase drinks on their night out so it wasn’t like he’d actually lost anything, just the satisfaction of beating Jake. But the fact he’d lost that was annoying in itself.

Fuck you George Michael.

Shoving his phone back into the pocket of his dirty jeans with an annoyed growl, Frank yanked the door open and instantly was hit with the sweet notes of nutmeg and ginger as something baked in the oven and the loud sounds of giggling and singing from the lounge. He passed through the small kitchen and paused in the doorway as he saw Mary on the couch,  bouncing up and down, her hands in Fliss’ as his girlfriend danced in front of Mary, twirling round, Thor bouncing along with her occasionally issuing the odd, excited bark. Fliss’ wore a headband upon which a pair of reindeer antlers were fixed whilst on Mary’s head sat a Santa hat which was adorned with light up stars.  The irritation of losing instantly left Franky’s system as he could do nothing but smile as he watched the pair of them dancing like idiots before Mary glanced up and saw him and gave him a grin. Fliss turned and smiled, waving him over. He shook his head, gesturing to the fact he was filthy but she simply grinned even more, and bent her finger at him, arching an eyebrow. The fact she seemed to get turned on by him being covered in grease greatly amused Frank and he simply met her down right filthy look with one of his own before she pouted at him as he was refusing to play. As usual when she fixed those eyes on him, he simply rolled his own and gave in, striding over the room where he dropped a kiss to her lips as Mary plonked the hat she had been wearing on his head just as the song ended.

“You just lost me a bet.” Frank looked at Fliss, then Mary. They both frowned at one another before Fliss gave a groan.

“Whamageddon?”

“Whamageddon.” He confirmed.

“Sorry!” she winced, shrugging as he returned Mary’s hat to her head, pulling it down over her eyes “We made sugar cookies though if that’s any consolation?"

“You’ve been busy.” Frank smiled and Mary nodded, pushing the hat up so she could see.

“We’re gonna decorate them tomorrow afternoon before we got to V and Bills.”

“Who’s we?” Frank arched an eyebrow.

“Me and you” Mary shrugged.

“That so?”

“Yup.” Mary nodded “We got ready made tubes of icing and stuff so even you can’t mess it up.”

Fliss laughed at the affronted look on Frank’s face as he narrowed his eyes at Mary before he reached out and grabbed her causing her to shriek as he tickled her sides.

Mary giggled, her protests becoming louder and lounder as did her laughter until, after one particular loud shriek Frank gave a yell and jumped, looking down at Thor who was stood behind him, his head cocked to one side, tail wagging furiously as he issued a loud bark.

“He just bit my ass!”

Fliss laughed even harder “he’s only playing. If he meant to bite you properly, you’d know about it. He’s never bitten anyone properly in his life.”

“Ha, he’s my bodyguard!” Mary straightened her hat once more before she hopped off the couch “Are you taking me to Roberta’s now?”

“Damned straight I am.” He mumbled, shooting the dog another glare before he turned back to her “You got your stuff?”

“Yup.”

“Okay come on. What do you say?” he nodded towards Fliss who rolled her eyes.

“Thanks for watching me and baking and stuff!” she wrapped her arms around Fliss’ waist and Fliss smiled, bending over to give her a hug. “Night Lissy.”

“You’re welcome babe. See you tomorrow.”

Mary skipped off and Frank turned to Fliss giving her another quick kiss.

“You know, you don’t have to make her thank me.” Fliss smiled as he pulled away. “She comes as part of the package.”

“She can still mind her manners.” Frank shrugged “Be back in five.”

Thor made to follow but Fliss grabbed his collar to stop him, before she grinned and after faffing with him for a second let him go. He padded after Frank and Mary, neither of them paying him any attention, although Frank didn’t fail to notice the grins the three of them were getting as they walked down to Roberta’s. Most likely thanks to the hat Mary had on.

Mary pushed Roberta’s door in and they all stepped inside, Roberta coming out of the kitchen to greet them.

“Mary Christmas!” Mary grinned and Roberta scoffed “Geddit? Mary, Merry…”

“Yeah I get it.” Roberta shook her head as Frank let out a snort. Her attention turned to him and she folder her arms, looking him up and down “You look like you just crawled outta some kind of pit. You’re filthy.”

“Yeah, well, been working.” He shrugged as Mary padded past into the living room. “Erm…forgetting something Stack?”

“Oh….” She turned and grabbed her little rucksack off him before she continued.

“Night then.” He shot sarcastically, receiving no response. He shook his head and turned to Roberta “We’re not going out so any issues…”

“There are never any issues Frank.” Roberta rolled her eyes “So, get….” She trailed off as her eyes fell towards Thor “Did you put antlers on the dog?”

Frank turned to look at Thor who was indeed sporting the antlers that had five or so minutes ago adorned Fliss’ head. He gave a snort, now realising why everyone they’d passed had smirked or laughed at them. “No, I didn’t” he shook his head as Thor’s tail began to thump on the floor. “That one’s down to Lissy.”

“You sure you’re not just feelin’ extra festive this year?” she teased and Frank gave a little smile.

“I’m looking forward to it, yeah.” He admitted, his eyes flicking back to the dog before he looked at Roberta. “Been a funny year. Some ways I’ll be glad to see the back of it, in others…” he trailed off as Roberta lay her hand on his arm.

“It was tough, I know. But…it all ended well.” She shrugged “You got that little girl in there and, well, a bigger girl waitin’ for you back home.”

“I’ll tell her you said that!” he grinned and Roberta slapped his arm.

“You know full well that wasn’t what I meant, besides, I’ve seen more meat on a damned grasshopper than there is on Fliss.”

“So now you’re calling her skinny…you know, I never had you down for size shaming Roberta.”

“Get outta my house before I hit you with the mop.” Roberta pointed behind him to the door causing Frank to laugh.

“See you tomorrow.” He turned, patting his thigh signalling for Thor “Come on Rudolph.”

Obediently the dog trotted after him as he left and made his way home, a soft smile playing on his face. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he pulled it out, snorting at the message of victory from Jake. He then noticed he had another message ftom Fliss. 

His phone wasn't great on picture messages, it was old school after all, but it was good enough to make him stop in his tracks. Her red, lace bra clad breasts flashed back at him along with the message "on second thoughts, maybe sugar cookies aint enough of an apology...I'll say sorry properly"

Frank swallowed as he shoved the phone back into his pocket and set off home, his pace doubled.

Thank you Whamageddon...

[alexseanchai]

Fanfic 2020 in Review

I got tagged by @kasienda @noirshitsuji and @marvelousmsmol and I am tagging whoever wants to play!

1) List of fics completed this year in the order they were finished:

*filters own works to complete and updated in 2020*

1 - 20 of 57 Works by AlexSeanchai

nope. *adds filter to include only works of at least 1000 words*

unless otherwise indicated, these are all Miraculous Ladybug:

“don’t bake it lying down”, post-reveal Marichat vs Felix Graham de Vanily

“veracity”, canon divergence from “Ladybug” featuring Mister Bug and Verity Queen (so also Marichat, I guess)

“(no request is too extreme, if) your heart is in your dream”, in which Hawkmoth wins, for the thirty seconds or so before Emilie saves Ladybug and Chat Noir’s lives

“tell me you love me and make me believe it”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire ropes Ladybug into helping plan her civilian self’s escape slash social transition

“kingmaker, oathbreaker”, in which Hawkmoth wins and Emilie watches her son remove himself from the family

“stay and let me watch you break it down” (Twelve Dancing Princesses), a modern setting

“set a course for winds of fortune”, in which trans girl Chatonne Noire has already escaped and Gabriel and Nathalie are trying to bring Gabriel’s son home

“we ground love in a hopeless place”, in which post-reveal Marinette’s attempt to remain resolutely not in love with her partner dissolves like sugar in coffee when they start a pun war

“ring the bells that still can ring”, in which Alya is deeply confused about why Adrien and Marinette are planning a wedding when last night both were single

“burning wishes at both ends (the cold wind and long loud wail remix)”, in which Gabriel made a monkey’s paw wish and Emilie makes another

“words cannot espresso”, in which Marinette’s OC roommate is justifiably worried for Marinette’s safety, and meanwhile Adrien takes care of Marinette

“the compromise of truth” (the chronologically second-earliest part posted to date of nine lives, snake’s eyes), in which Adrien tells his friends how he won some freedom and respect from his father

“At The Present Time”, the Ladrien/Ladynoir marriage proposal follow-up to @art-deco-shrimp‘s  “Your Presents Required”

“j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”, in which the events of canon must just have been a series of dream sequences, Marinette and Adrien both think, until they both arrive at Chloe’s Halloween masquerade dressed as themselves from the dreams

2) Number of words written:

ahahaha no. I am not counting all my scattered fic drafts and trying to figure out what I did and didn’t write in 2020. I refuse.

AO3 says I posted 162K in 2020. it is counting all of keeps you guessing (like any real love), which (a) I started posting in 2019 (b) is co-written by @galahadwilder​; it is counting all of my meta snippets collection, much of which was written in 2019; it is counting the Vimeo passwords for my vids. but I probably cleared 150K by a safe margin.

3) Your most popular fic:

“veracity” has a four-digit kudos count, wow, when’d that happen? this is also the 2020 work with the most hits and the most bookmarks, but “tell me you love me” has four-thirds as many comments as its nearest competitor.

4) Your personal fav:

“cannot break us, not with a thousand swords”, no question about it. this is the one in which Ladybug proposes marriage to Chat Noir via Princess Bride meme on Tumblr. (if you intend to download the work or otherwise to consume it with creator style off, you want the accessible version instead of the primary version.)

5) Your fav scene:

aaaaaaaaa

—okay so this is cheating and I know it, since Uncertain Humors (the one where Marinette/Adrien is both Orpheus/Eurydice and Theseus/Ariadne) is nowhere near finished, never mind posted (maybe I'll get “Sanguine” done to post on my birthday?)

but it is still my favorite of the year. as you might guess from that description of the story, this scene has content notes for character death:

Hell is a maze. Marinette walks.

This acrid passage has little to see but damp stone, seeming blood-stained in the dim carmine light. At about the height of her heart, the faintly glowing thread cuts through the not-clammy air; it ought to be pulsing at the same rate as the heart it's bound to. She might be able to see her own reflection if she looked down at the open sewage pipe, or at one of the puddles that now and again she splashes through, dampening the canvas of her shoes. She might see reflected what's behind her.

She remembers Mme. Mendeleiev lecturing on human physiology. In healthy humans old enough to have learned how, urination is a voluntary action: one may not know which muscles one tenses and relaxes in order to do so, and probably isn't paying attention to those details when one is doing, but one has conscious control over whether one does. Usually. Stress and anxiety mean some people are unable to relax the relevant sphincter muscle and others are unable to stop themselves. It's voluntary for cats, too: it's one way they mark their territories. Cat-boys have other ways.

There is a moment in every human life when all one's muscles relax at once. Some Parisians have had several such moments.

The thread is braided with itself around her left fourth finger, rows of tiny red half-hitch knots, and falls loosely over the back of her hand to loop twice around her wrist. She holds it wrapped between the fingers of her right hand to keep it at a constant tension, as though knitting with this insubstantial thread, so fragile for something two (two dozen, two million) lives hang from—too thin to sew with, no thicker than one strand of his hair. As she walks, she winds it around and around and around her wrist.

Between her ring finger and her right hand, it loops twice.

Marinette's shoe lands in a puddle she didn't see. The rainwater splashes soundlessly onto her bare ankle and on the stone.

(With cat-like tread, upon our prey we steal— It's a very loud song.)

She walks on.

6) A fic or scene that challenged you:

where the firelight fades, no contest. this is the second story I’ve ever been able to stick with more than a couple hundred words past the 20K mark, but it’s easily the twentieth novel-length I’ve begun. (though also, you know that kedreeva post? well, 90K later, I’m less than 15K from completing this 10K fic! I think.) and I have been learning so much about long-form fiction.

there has also been a lot of weeping and tearing my hair. case in point: I just trashed the chapter 15 draft because I figured out the reason it wasn’t going anywhere! I can probably keep the first few hundred words of that draft without any editing, and another few hundred with some revision...

7) A line of writing you’re proud of:

from “j'ai rêvé (so I don't have to dream alone)”:

Everything about their partnership is fragments of sentences in the dream diary Adrien writes in ultraviolet pen. Disjointed flickers of thought even when examined under the black light he hides in the snack cabinet under packets of Super Yoyo sandwich cookies and bags of cheesy Monster Munch potato chips and boxes of petit écolier butter cookies (chocolat noir)—none of which explains the gym-socks smell. All fleeting incoherent flashes, invisible between the mundane lines of La Modification shelved at his bedside between Leroux and Dumas. None of it is solid. Adrien has more proof his room's haunted.

okay let me break this down for you!

* Adrien started a dream diary to make sense of the memories

* in invisible ink, in a book that (according to Wikipedia) is thematically appropriate and won’t (if Gabriel sees it) look like anything other than Adrien developing an interest in French literature

* shelved between Phantom of the Opera and The Three Musketeers

* look I didn’t come up with the name “black light”

* or “chocolat noir” for what English speakers call “dark chocolate”, or “petit écolier” (that is, “little schoolboy”) for that sort of butter cookie

* also not my fault that “chocolat noir” sounds remarkably like “Chat Noir”, which, attentive readers may have noticed, is not a name that appears in the story after the header and before Miraculous Cure

* I found the website of a store in Boston, Massachusetts that caters to French expats, and the yo-yo cookies and the monster chips were right there in the photos, y’all

* the snack stash and the black light live in the cabinet where, in canon, the Camembert lives; yes, that cheese smells in the real world like gym socks

* this story’s akuma was not able to affect anything but squishy human memory: nobody affected remembers anything about Ladybug or Chat Noir or Hawkmoth, not in any solid way, not even when they read news articles about the subject, and this includes Marinette and Adrien not being able to see or hear or remember their own kwamis—but you know what Adrien’s Insta post about his poltergeist and Adrien’s Insta post with the floating sock don’t show and don’t explicitly refer to?

* I love this paragraph so much (my housemates may have been lovingly mocking me over it)

8) A comment that touched you:

there are people (y’all know who you are) who said y’all are studying my style. I ded of blush.

9) Something that inspired your writing:

by volume of fic drafts that can be blamed on any particular person, the winner is probably @norakwami​

10) Your proudest accomplishment (that one scene; finally finishing that one fic; posting your first fic; etc):

so that longest-story-ever-written record I set in 2007 with the 89.5K story that, till where the firelight fades, was the only story I’d gotten much past 20K?

I broke that fucking record!

and then I deleted the draft of firelight chapter 15 😭

11) Do you have any writing goals for the next year?

I’m starting work on a fantasy novel, a Sleeping Beauty retelling in which I explore (among other things) the economic consequences of the king’s ordering all the spinning wheels burned, and I want to make significant progress on that. and I want to not make my hands any worse; I kind of need those!

(breaking news alert: bodies fucking suck. so does giving yourself repetitive stress injuries in doing one and a half to two people’s worth of work for an organization that was never ever going to pay you more than one person’s worth of pay.)

[shewritestheblues]

The Elevator Bae x Chapter 8

Chapter EIGHT

Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)

-------------------

“I missed you so fucking much, baby girl.”

“I missed you too, E.” Phoenix huffed between words. Erik’s heavy figure above hers. His head rested in the crook of her neck as he placed wet kisses on her skin. She dug her fingertips into his back as he stroked her slow and deep. Her eyes stuck shut, moan trapped in her throat when she felt a vibration under her body. Where is this coming from?

Phoenix’s body jerked up and she looked around, realizing she was on her couch. It was dark out now and her tv screen paused with Netflix asking if she was still there. Her phone was ringing under her. That’s when it all hit her. She was dreaming. This was the third night in a row that dreamt of him. Three dreams, night after night of Erik doing all of the right things to her. Why is this happening to her?

Erik had been gone for ten days. The first few days, she poured herself into her work. She set up her equipment in her living room and did the best that could. remixing beats she already had and doing some writing. But has the days went on, she found herself thinking about Erik more and more. Thinking about how good he felt when she kissed him. Missing him, but she did everything but actually admit that to herself. She started watching Naruto because it was his favorite show, but she told herself it was because Netflix suggested it. She went out and bought two cases of Merinelli’s Apple Juice. But of course, not because he liked it, but because she ‘enjoyed the juice of apples.’ She told herself that he probably wasn’t even thinking about her. He’ll probably come back and not even bother talking to her again. Two weeks was more than enough time for him to realize that she wasn’t it and she should just prepare herself now, for it.

None of it worked, though she refused to accept the truth that she missed Erik. It ate her up inside that she couldn’t talk to him. He stayed in her mind constantly. She hated to like it.

“This is ridiculous.” She said to herself as she felt under her legs for her phone.

One missed call from Coby. She swiped the notification, selecting Call Back. When he answered, she could hear nothing but pure joy in his voice.

“PHILLY!” he yelled into the phone.

“Hey!” She pulled the phone away from her face and put it on speaker phone.

“My studio is done.”

Phoenix sat up, snatching the phone, bringing it closer to her face. “What! Say swear!”

“I swear. It’s finally done. You gotta come break it in.”

Coby had been working on building a studio in his home. Fully equipt. He promised that when it was done, she’d be the first person her called and she would be the first to record something in it. Before Phoenix could even express her excitement, Ava had taken over the phone call.

“Yeah, Philly. You might as well pack you a bag or three and come on.”

“A bag? Fuck she need a bag for?” Coby says.

“So she won’t have to leave. You know damn well y’all are about to be living in that damn room.”

“Bet!” Phoenix said. “I’m on my way.”

“Yay! We’re having a sleepover!” Ava yells into the phone. “See you when you get here.”

Phoenix ends the call. She rushes into her room to pack some clothes. She may or may not have packed enough to practically move in. She stuffed as much as she could in her giant Victoria Secret PINK duffle. Along with her face and hair products. She looked around to make sure she had everything. Her laptop was on the floor. She could NOT leave without that. She put it in her backpack with its charger and an extra phone charger and headed out the door. She texted Ava.

Phoenix: Be there in 20 minutes.

-------

Coby’s studio was her dream studio. It was huge. As soon as she walked in, purple lights glowed along the bottom of the soundproof glass that separated them from the recording booth. Coby turned on the lights that revealed all black decor and dark, hardwood floors. Phoenix walked in stroking her fingertips along the new equipment. Ava came in, sitting on the couch.

“You peep that?” Ava says, pointing to something inside of the recording booth. Phoenix goes inside to see. She looks up to see a huge black and white picture of her and Coby from when they were in the studio some time ago. One of Coby’s photographer friends had stopped by and took a few cool shots of them. Coby has the picture enlarged on a canvas and placed on the wall inside of the recording booth.

“Oh my gosh, Coby!” she grabbed his arms, shaking him.

Seeing her jump with joy, brought on the biggest smile that man has ever worn. “You like it?”

“I love it! What made you pick this one?”

“Well, we’re a team now, remember? I figured it was only right to put up a picture of me and my partner.”

“Aww… we haven’t come up with a cool name yet though.”

“We’ll figure that out in due time. But you like everything?”

“YES!”

Coby showed her around to look at everything that he had installed. Of course Phoenix’s favorite part was the fully stocked mini fridge and weed cabinet that held all of their smoking necessities. Phoenix wouldn’t be quiet about how proud of him she was. He had been working on this studio for months. He designed the entire thing himself.

They immediately got to work. Phoenix was so excited about the studio, and to be with her friends, she finally got her mind off of Erik… for now.  She was able to zone into her work. They created their first beat from scratch in the new space. Just as Ava had predicted, once Phoenix and Coby were in the studio, they were there for the rest of the night. After a few hours, Ava left them and went to bed. It was well into the next morning before the two of them had fallen asleep in the studio. They refused to leave.

--------

The next afternoon, Phoenix enjoyed a hot shower and co-washed her hair. She lotioned up with her favorite vanilla shea butter. She moisturized her hair and washed her face. She put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as she was applying some chapstick, Ava facetimes her.

“Morning!” Ava cheerfully says into the phone.

“Morning, love.”

“Get down here. I made food. I wanna see you before I leave out.”

“Where you goin’?” Phoenix says as she starts walking out of her chosen guest room to meet Ava and Coby down in the kitchen.

“I have a brand meeting.”

“Alright. I’m coming down the stairs.”

Ava ends the facetime call. Phoenix walks down the large staircase and through the hallway. She can see Coby sitting at the kitchen table. She joins him. They share a look before both breaking into smiles.

“You want eggs?” Ava asks Phoenix from the stove.

“Sure.”

Ava brings Phoenix a full plate of food. Phoenix pours herself some cranberry juice, mixing it with orange juice. Coby watches her mix the two drinks with furrowed brows. “Why do you that? That’s weird.”

“It’s delicious actually.” she takes a sip. “You should try it.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

The three of them sit and eat their food. Ava asked them about what they created in the studio and the way their faces lit up was enough to let her know they had a great session, breaking in the new studio. They played her the song they made. As the beat broke through the speaker, Phoenix’s voice rides the beat effortlessly. Ava squealed in excitement, hearing her friend singing.

Just me and you, nobody gon' break this up, this magic

My nigga, my babe, nobody comes before me and you

Numero uno, you know you my baby

What had these bitches off you lately?

“You sound so good!” Ava says. “You should drop this yourself.”

“I told her ass last night, that she should drop some music.” Coby adds.

Phoenix shakes her head. “Y’all crazy. Ain’t nobody trying to hear me sing.”

“You’re crazy! You telling me that you’ve never thought about releasing some of those songs you have locked away? You have a pretty voice, Philly. I think people would love you.”

“It’s crossed my mind, but I’m good.”

Ava rolled her eyes at her. Coby checks the time on his phone. “You better get out of here before you’re late. Traffic probably already crazy.” Ava takes one last sip of her drink. She gets up from the table, picking up her dishes and taking them to the sink.

“Don’t worry about those. I got it.” Coby says.

Ava leaves her dishes and starts out of the kitchen. “I’ll see y’all in a couple hours.”

Coby listened out to hear the front door open and close. As soon as he did, he looks at Phoenix. She’s so into her food, that she didn’t notice at first. When she did, she locked eyes with him and they stared at each other until one of them blinked first. Phoenix’s eyes couldn’t take it and she blinked. “Fuck!”

“I don’t know why you think you can beat me.”

“Nobody should be able to go that long without blinking. Something is wrong with you.”

Coby continues to stare at her as she eats. As he watches her, he notices that she checks her phone every few seconds. She’s not usually the type to be so caught up with her phone. She checks it again, this time, locking it and flipping it over.

“What’s up with you?” he asks.

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“You keep checking your phone. You expecting a call or something?”

“No.” she says quickly.

Coby smirks. “You waiting on Erik to text you?”

Her face drops and she rolls her eyes, trying to avoid looking in his direction. “No. I was-- I was just checking the time.”

Coby notices the change in her demeanor and the protector in him activates. “What happened? That nigga do something?” His words came out slightly louder than how he was talking before. They were stern.

“No,” she waves him off. “Nothing happened. I haven’t even talked to him.”

“Why not?”

Phoenix looks at him in disbelief. She feels like she’s getting grilled by her Mom. “He’s away right now… for work.”

“And he can’t talk to you? What the fuck do he do?”

Phoenix isn’t getting out of this conversation so she surrenders and figures she’d just answer Coby’s questions. She sits her fork down and leaned back in her chair. “He’s in the Navy. He had to leave for two weeks.” she says, figuring it was the safest answer. She can’t be telling people he’s hired to take people out.

“Hm. When did he leave?”

“Last Tuesday.”

“You must have gave that nigga some good-bye pussy or something.”

“Wha-- No!”

“Then why you actin’ weird?” Coby tries to catch Phoenix’s eye to see if she’s lying. She avoids him by looking off at nothing in the kitchen.

“I’m not acting weird. You are. Asking me all of these damn questions.” she snapped.

“You are acting weird. I’m just trying to make sure you good and I don’t have to kill that nigga. I bring his name up and you get all tense and shit.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She looks down and picks at her fingers. Coby patiently waits for her to give him something. When she doesn’t, he tries to push a little more. Phoenix is good for keeping things locked in. But not on his watch.

“Aye,” she looks at him. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Phoenix.” his voice was stern.

“I think I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Coby leaned onto the table, all ears.

“I- I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.” He motioned for her to go on. “I’ve only ever been with one person and that clearly didn’t end well, and--  I don’t really want to allow someone to hurt me again.”

“That’s not fair Phoenix.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Erik ain’t your ex. It’s not fair to hold what that lame ass nigga did against him. You have to let that shit go.”

Phoenix looked away at nothing again. She knew he was right.

“Aye…” Coby tapped the table. Phoenix looks at him. “I’ma tell you this, but keep it between me and you.” Phoenix agrees with a nod. “My ex, she wasn’t shit. Fucked around on me with half the niggas in the industry. We were supposed to get married and everything but I called off all that shit when I found out what she was out here doing. Everybody knew but me.”

“Wait!” Phoenix interjected with wide eyes. “You were gonna get married, Coby?”

He kissed his teeth. “Yeah man. That was a few years ago and it has nothing to do with my point.”

Phoenix through her hands up in surrender.

“Anyways, as I was saying. I was done dirty but I didn’t let that shit stop me from going after Ava. I still found it in me to care about somebody. I treat her crazy ass like the queen that she is because that hurt shit is the past. Ava is my fresh start and clearly Erik is yours.”

“What makes you think that?”

“It’s all in  the music, Phoenix. I’m not stupid. I can always tell what you’re feeling based off what you write. You like Erik. Just let the shit happen.”

Phoenix nods. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged.” she says, trying to steer the conversation away from her and her alleged feelings for Erik.

Coby stands up from the table, picking up their plates. “Happened before I met you. Don’t like talking about it.”

He washed their plates and pans on the stove. Phoenix got up and started walking out. “I’ll be in the studio.”

-----------

The next few days, anxiety filled up in Phoenix. She counted the days down until Erik came back. She continued her stay at Coby’s with him and Ava to distract herself as much as she could. Erik’s return day came and went with no sign of him. He hadn’t texted her. She figured he would. But maybe he was tired and just wanted to rest. But when two more days passed and still no text from him, she figured she would take this ‘L’ like a champ and move on. She didn’t want to talk about it with Coby or Ava and she had lost her desire to make music. It would all be about Erik anyway. She didn’t want to do that to herself.

Phoenix stood over the bed in the guest room that she had rightfully deemed her room and packed up all of her stuff. Ava sat on the bed, watching her.

“You should just move in, Philly. Then we can all be together, all the time.” Ava says.

“You don’t even live here!” They hear Coby yell from his room, down the hall.

“Ain’t nobody even talking to you!” Ava yells back. Her and Phoenix share a look before laughing. “He be killing me, not minding his business.”

“But, speaking of you not living here. When was the last time you went home?” Phoenix asked.

Ava looked up to the ceiling in thought. “It’s been a couple weeks. I should probably go back though. I’m sure the food in my fridge is done for and I definitely need to wash some clothes.”

“Ew, A!” Phoenix laughs. She just shrugs. “Welp… I’m all packed up.”

Ava gives Phoenix a very dramatic sad face. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Relax, love.” Phoenix places a petty hand on Ava’s shoulder. “A couple more weeks and we’ll be ass out on a beach.”

“Yes and then right after that… it’s your birthday.” Ava pokes her in her sides between words, tickling her.

“Stop! No need to be extra. It’s not that big of a deal.” Phoenix throws on her hoodie and slip her feet into her sneakers.

“You bet not say you don’t wanna do anything, because we’re doing something for your birthday.”

“Y’all can’t do it here!” Coby yells.

“SHUT UP!” “BE QUIET!” they yell back. Both rolling their eyes. Why was he listening so damn hard?

Phoenix goes down to Coby’s room where he’s playing 2k and she says her goodbyes to him. She tries to kiss him on the cheek and snaps back, away from her. “Gone with all that shit, Philly. Don’t you see I’m in a game?”

“This game can’t be that damn important if your ear hustling on what me and Ava talking about.”

“Nah, y’all niggas were loud. Which is why y’all need to get out my house.”

Ava storms into the room. “Fuck you! I ain’t going nowhere.” She smacks him in the back of the head, making him pause the game.

“Don’t be putting your little ass hands on me. You can get ya’ shit and leave with your friend.”

Ava leans down to his ear and whispers something to him that makes his eyebrows raise up into his hairline. He clears his throat. “You know what… you can stay, bae.” He looks to Phoenix, “I love you, Phoenix, but you have to go now. This was fun. It really was, but Ava will show you to the door.”

Phoenix is disgusted. “Y’all are gross. I’m out.” She turns on her heels, heading back into the guest room for her bags. Ava follows her downstairs and walks her out.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?” Ava gives Phoenix one of those long, auntie hugs. Back rubs and all.

-----

Phoenix sat at a red light when her phone started ringing over the speakers. When she looked to see who it was, she almost choked on her spit. It was Erik. He was facetiming her. He’s never actually called her before, let alone facetime. They only talked in person or text. Her palms become sweaty at a new record speed. She wiped her hand on her hoodie and hit the green button to answer. The street lights lit her face up enough for him to see her. She looked down into the phone to see his face almost covered with a hoodie over his head.

“Hey.” his voice was deep and raspy.

“Hey.”

The light turns green and Phoenix drives off, quickly looking away from the phone on the mount. He just watched her for a moment as she focused on the road and traffic. “You going somewhere?” he finally asked.

“I’m on my way home. Just left Coby’s.”

“Oh.”

She could tell he wanted to say something more than just ‘Oh.’ As she came to a stop at another red light, she focused her attention back to the phone. “What’s up, Erik?” her tone came out frustrated. He’s been back for days now and he hadn’t texted her at all. He randomly facetimes her and barely has anything to say. She was definitely annoyed with how this was going right about now. He could sense her frustration.

“Can I see you?”

“Sure.”

“How far are you from here?”

She drives off once again. “Like ten minutes.”

“Alright.” There’s movement on his end of the phone. “I’ll wait for you in the garage. See you when you get here.”

“Um… okay.”

The call ends and Phoenix is every bit of confused as to how she should take this. He hasn’t talked to her and now he wants to see her. What the fuck was happening right now?

She arrived in the parking garage of her apartment and Erik is waiting, standing outside his car. She decided to leave her bags in her backseat and gets out to go to him. As she approaches him, he motions to the car, opening the passenger door. “Ride with me somewhere.” Phoenix very hesitantly gets into his car. He gets in and drives off. The ride was silent. He was distant. Not the Erik she had become use to. He was so closed off and she wanted to ask, but didn’t really know how. She didn’t know what to say. She just rode. She laid back into the seat and just looked out the window. The car ride wasn’t long. They pulled into a parking lot and as Phoenix searched around, looking out of the windows, she realized they were at the beach. There weren't many people out. Just a few bodies walking around. Erik turned the car off and opens his door to get out. Phoenix follows. He spares her a look and starts walking onto the sand, toward an empty picnic table. Phoenix doesn’t follow him immediately. She watches him walk and takes note of the slight dip when he takes a step. He turns looking for her and expecting her to be right behind him. When she’s not,  he stops to wait. She slowly begins her journey to him. When she approaches him, he takes her hand in his and guides her the rest of the way to the picnic table. Erik steps up onto the table, sitting on the top of it. He leaves just enough room between his legs for Phoenix to sit. He pulls her up on the reserved seat. As she settles into her place between his thighs, he wraps his arms around her torso and rests his face on her shoulder.

Silence.

Neither of them talk. They sit. The moon’s light sits on top of the water before them and faint sounds of the city in the distance. The few people roaming the beach had left, leaving just them with one another. Phoenix listened to Erik’s steady breath in her right ear and the sounds of small waves in the left. She felt calm. The slight irritation she had with Erik had subsided.

The late night breeze flowed right off of the water and a shiver crept up Phoenix’s spine. Erik felt her shake and wrapped his arms around her body completely, holding her tighter.

“Better?” his baritone voice spoke low in her ear.

“Mhmm.” she rested her head back on him.

“I missed you.” he whispered.

Without thinking, Phoenix’s words flew from her mouth. “Then why didn’t you text me?”

“I just needed some space… some time to decompress or whatever.”

“I get that. I just would like to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. Not really used to having to check in with anybody.”

Phoenix lifted her body from his and turns to look at him. “Well, you don’t have to check in with me then.” she snapped.

Erik sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ll let you know next time.”

“Nah, you don’t have to worry about it.” she faces forward but folds her body into her lap. Erik pulls her back to him. She resisted at first but eventually submitted. Resting her body against his chest again. She felt defeated. He wrapped his arms around her again, placing his face in her neck. He doesn’t do anything. He just lays there, lips barely grazing her skin. Phoenix silently prayed he’d move, though she wanted him to stay.

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” he said into her neck.

She took in a deep breath. Coby’s words popping up in her mind. ‘Let that shit go. Let Erik be your fresh start.’  

“I missed you too, Erik.”

His lips pressed firmly on her neck then. Her body melted more into his.

“Why are you so understanding?” he asked.

She shrugs. “It’s just who I am, I guess.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Why would you say that?”

He lifts his head, looking out at the water. Phoenix’s head falls back onto his chest. His grip around her loosens. “I’m no good for you. You’re too much of a good person for a nigga like me. I do terrible shit and you still find a way to be understanding about it.”

“...Erik.”

“Everything I touch dies, Phoenix. I don’t wanna ruin your life.”

“Shut up, Erik.”

“Phoenix--” She cuts him off and turns to face him again. She pulls the strings on his hoodie and moves her face closer to his. They’re eye to eye.

“I’m a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions, so if you ruin my life, it’ll be because I let you. I’m not scared of none of that shit you’re talking. I had my chance to cut you off when you told me that you’re basically an assassin. You mark your body for every fucking kill Erik. I tried counting them damn scars on your arms and I lost count… three times,” She dramatically throws up three fingers. “I’m understanding because I know what it’s like to only have yourself. I’m understanding because somebody has to be. Somebody has to be a safe space for you.”

Her words hit him right in the chest. Somebody has to be. Nobody had ever tried to be understanding of him. Nobody wanted to be and here this girl is, wanting to be that somebody. He felt a sense of safety with her that he couldn’t explain before and this confirmed everything he was feeling. This woman was special and the only explanation for how he got so lucky was that Bast herself, sent her to him. If that’s what Erik had to tell himself to accept what Phoenix was offering, he would. All Erik could do in this moment was smile. He hadn’t smiled once in the weeks he’d been gone.

Phoenix clutched her pearls. “Erik Stevens without his gold caps? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up.” He grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks and connecting his lips with hers. He needed to do this. He wanted to since she met him in the parking garage. The kiss turned hot, very quickly. The smacking of their lips seem to quiet out the sounds of the waves hitting the shore. Phoenix gripped his hoodie, pulling him closer. Their awkward position making it hard to do so. She lifted her body from between his legs and straddled his lap. She didn’t miss a beat. Their lips never parted. Erik’s hands gripped her ass, holding her in place above him. Just as Phoenix sucked on his bottom lip, he pulled back.

“Fuck, girl.” he shakes his head, trying to come back to reality. Erik has kissed many, and I mean MANY of women. But none of them felt like this. She made him want her in every way possible. He wasn’t used to this feeling. But, Phoenix has a history of making him feel things he’s not used to feeling. Like, well… feelings. Erik never wanted to just be with someone just to be with them. If it wasn’t about sex, he didn’t care. But, Phoenix… he wanted to sit next to her, talk to her, hold her hand, watch tv with her. The simple things.  

“What I do?” she grinned.

“I want you so fucking bad.” the lust in his voice sent heat to her lady parts. She wanted him too. “But… if I’m gonna do this, I have to do it right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I would love to bend yo’ ass over this table right now and just…” He thrusted his body up into hers. Her mouth dropped in shock. He laughed at her reaction. “But, I wanna do right by you. I wanna take you out. I wanna show you a good time first.”

“You wanna court me, Stevens?” she smiles, linking her hands around his neck.

“Yeah. All that shit.”

“Damnn, okay. A bitch ain’t never had that before.” she says in her hoodrat voice.

“Me neither.” He laughed at her and pulled her back in for a few more pecks on the lips.

They continued to sit in this position. Phoenix laid on his shoulder and he rested his face in her neck, still gripping on to her thighs. She rubbed the back of his neck. They sat quietly with the sounds of the night traveled around them.

“E,” she whispered. He moaned in response. “Why the beach? What made you wanna come here?”

“I like to come here to clear my mind.”

“I’m enjoying this. I really am. But, I’m cold.”

His body bounced under hers as he laughed. “Well, I’m good now so we can go.”

Phoenix stands. Erik moves to stand up but pauses and sits back down. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

He drops his head in laughter. “Oh my God, man.”

“What!”

He slowly stands up and his erection is VERY visible through his light grey joggers. Phoenix’s mouth drops and she laughs. She knew he was big from when he chilled with her at her place and she breifly sat on his lap, but seeing this nigga print in these pants, let her know she slightly underestimated him. “And I Oop…” They both leaned over in laughter. Phoenix’s funny reaction was simply a way to stir her brain from the many questions she wanted to ask herself. Was she able to handle that? Ya’ know… when the time came? How big was this nigga? Has he murdered anybody by dick in his past? But she’ll tackle that one later. They were okay. Things were normal.

Erik readjusted himself and they walked back to his car. The ride back to their apartment was different than the ride to the beach. Phoenix connected her phone to his car’s bluetooth and played her music. The air was lighter on their drive. Erik’s hand found its place on her thigh and they both sung along to the songs that played.

-----------

Phoenix and Erik picked up right where they left off. He texted her every morning and they’d text through the entire day, ending the day with a facetime call. The nights she’d be up and in the studio, they’d text until he fell asleep, only to facetime him when she made it in and they’d both sleep with the other on screen until their phones died. It was like they were teenagers again. The butterflies, the cute text. They enjoyed each other.

——-

Phoenix was currently standing in her hallway, locking her door. Before making her way to the elevator she texted Erik.

Phoenix: What’s your code?

She was feeling bits of nervousness. This would be her first time going up to Erik’s apartment. The couple of weeks that Erik had been back seem to have flown by and  her vacation with her girls was coming up quick, Erik told Phoenix he wanted to see her before she left. They haven’t seen much of each other since he’s been back with her schedule being hectic. Phoenix had a lot of work and meetings to get through before her trip. She wanted to enjoy her vacation without any work related distractions. Her and Coby had been working tirelessly so the only time she could really see Erik was on their nightly FaceTime calls. He’d always miss her on the elevators.

Erik: 8176.

She pressed the elevator call button.

Phoenix: Great. My goons will be up in a minute to rob your ass.

Erik: Play with me if you want to. I’ll drop you and them niggas.

Phoenix: you wouldn’t do that to me. You would miss me too much.

Erik: maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t.

DING! The elevator doors opened and Phoenix stepped on. She typed in his code to enter the Penthouse floors. 8..1..7..6. The twelfth floor light lit up and the doors began to close. She texted Erik back.

Phoenix: I’m not coming up then.

Erik: stop playing baby girl. You know I would miss you.

Erik: I miss you right now.

Phoenix sticks her tongue out, blushing. She locks her screen. The closer she got to his floor, the tighter the knot in her stomach. She could feel her hands getting hot. She tried taking some deep breaths. The cabin stopped and the doors opened. She stepped out and looked to her left and to her right. There was an apartment door in both directions. Erik didn’t mention which direction his door would be. She unlocked her phone, calling Erik.

“Hey baby girl. Where you at?”

“Um, I’m in the hallway. You never told me if your door is to the left or right of the elevators.”

“Oh shit. My bad. The right.”

Phoenix goes right and the door begins to open. Erik steps out with a smile sitting beautifully on his face. He made Nike shirts look like the most exquisite shirts on the market. His dreads were pulled up into a pineapple. The smell of seasoned chicken flowed out into the hallway meeting Phoenix as she greeted him with a hug. He steps aside, letting her in. First glance and Phoenix was stunned. The sleek and modern black and gold decor was designed perfectly. The high ceilings and floor to ceiling glass windows gave the most amazing view of the city. She walked in, looking around, noticing the African Art along the walls.

“Ohhhh, he got moneyyy!”

“Would you like a tour?”

She whipped her head around to him. “Yes, actually. I would.”

“C’mon.”

She follows him as he leads her more into his penthouse. They walk through his huge living room where he has the largest sectional couch that Phoenix has ever seen. It looked so comfy and she couldn’t wait to get lost in it. A 90” tv set on a stand in front of it.

“Full bar over there.” he points to underneath the stairs. “Dining area. Kitchen.” He takes her hand and leads her past the kitchen into a hallway. There are two doors to right. The first is a guest bathroom. The second door is a guest bedroom.

“Damn, Stevens! Your guest room is bigger than my living room. Go off with your rich ass.”

“You’re silly, baby girl. C’mon, we’re going upstairs.”

They make their way back into the main area to go upstairs. She follows him up and notices his pants hanging low on his waist. This nigga has cake.

“Damn, you kinda thick, E.” she pats him. He stops mid step and turns to give her the straightest face.

“Don’t do that shit again.”

She puts her hands up in surrender. “My bad big booty E.”

“Chill.” They continue their trip up the stairs and the space before them was big enough to be another living room. There were some workout equipment, neatly stacked against the wall.

“Oh this is where you be growing ya’ cheeks at.”

“Phoenix, you got one more time to mention my ass before I put you out.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done.” she smirks at him.

He takes her through some sliding doors that lead to his bedroom. The walls were white with a dark grey accent wall behind his bed. A TV was up on the wall between his large windows. The shades were down, blocking out the cities lights. His california king bed dressed in black and purple. A large black panther picture hung on the wall.

“I have an idea, E.” Phoenix says, rubbing her chin.

“What’s that?”

“I move into this room and you take the one downstairs.”

“You sound crazy. You could just join me in this one.” he winks at her.

“Nope. I need all of this to myself.”

“Nah. I come with it. All or nothing. If you don’t like it, you can stay in your shoebox downstairs.”

Phoenix’s mouth drops and she clutches her chest. “First of all, I love my shoebox.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, we’re almost done with the tour.”

She walks with him to the other side of his room and through another set of sliding doors. They step into his master bathroom. His shower had three shower heads and a bench. The tub sat in front of a large window and another tv was on the wall in front of it. “I’m sold. I might have to take you up on your offer now.”

“Oh now you want me?”

“Technically,” she put a finger up. “I never said that I didn’t.”

“You’re something else.” He walks out and she follows him. Right outside the bathroom’s doors was a small hallway that lead into his closet. He turned on the lights, revealing his amazing collection of clothes, sneakers, jackets, and a jewelry case full of chains and watches and few pair of earrings. Straight ahead was a large mirror. Phoenix walked right passed his clothes. Fuck his clothes honestly. The white light in the closet made for good lighting and the mirror called her to take the perfect picture.

“OH! It’s picture time.” She pulled out her phone, snapping a full cute pics, catching her body at all of the right angles. As she tried to get a new position, she noticed Erik leaning against the wall behind her. She hadn’t realized that he was visible in her pictures before. She stopped and looked at him.

“What?” he was lost as to why she was giving him the stink look.

“Get out my picture.”

He rolled his eyes, stepping out of her camera’s view. She snapped a few more pictures.

“Are you done?” he called out. She walks back to him.

“Yes. All done. Thanks.”

He turns off the lights and they both leave out of his room. As they walked toward the stairs, he points to a door on the other side, “That’s my office. I’m redoing it right now so it’s a mess in there.”

They go downstairs and into the kitchen where the food Erik had cooked sat on the stove. He made stuffed chicken, cheesy, garlic potatoes and grilled asparagus. Phoenix sat in the wooden barstool at the kitchen island as he prepared their plates.

“Red or White?” he asked without turning around.

“Hmm, white.”

Erik placed two plates of food on the counter in front of her. He grabbed two wine glasses from a cabinet, placing one in front of her. “You’re a sweet kind of woman aren’t you?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” He walks away out of her sight. When he comes back, he has a bottle of Moscato. He effortlessly pops the cork and pours into their glasses. He takes his seat next to her, pulling her seat closer to him. He grabbed her chin, bringing their faces just a breath from each other. He licks his lips and places a peck on hers, making a small closed mouth smirk appear on hers. “Eat up, baby girl.”

Phoenix pulled away from him. “You don’t tell me what to do, Stevens.” She picks up her fork and starts eating. He watches her with prey like eyes.

“We’ll see about that.” he finally says with a low tone before digging into his food.

As they enjoyed their meal, they talked about random things. How they’re sick of the construction outside of their building. Phoenix has a hair appointment the next day. Nothing major. Well about halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted.

“So,” Erik sat his fork down. “Your birthday is coming up. You and your crew planning something?”

Phoenix sipped her wine. “My crew? No. This vacation is enough for me. I don’t wanna do anything really.”

“I thought the trip was Camrens’s birthday gift?”

“It is. But, I don’t know, it’s right before mine so I’m okay with just that.”

“Why?” He was watching the side of her face.

“Not really a birthday person.”

“I’ve never met a woman that wasn’t a birthday person.”

She finally looks at him. “I mean, as a kid, I was. But the older I got, it just seemed so… extra. I would only do something because my brother wanted to.”

“Brother?!” Erik’s eyebrows raised high. “You have a brother?”

Phoenix rolls her eyes. “Yeah. A twin, actually. Zion.”

“You’ve never mentioned having a brother.”

“Because…” she takes a sip. “We don’t talk. He don’t fuck with me and I don’t fuck with him.” Her demeanor changed. Phoenix is tense now. She clenches and unclenches her jaw and the slight eye rolls as she talks let Erik know that her brother is a trigger. He waited patiently for her to figure out her words before she continued. “I don’t hate him. I just-- I don’t know.”

Erik turns his body to face her and let her know that she has his full attention. “You don’t have to talk about it.” She cups her glass with both hands, slowly taking sips. There’s a beat of silence.

“I’m here.” She began. Her voice small. “I’m living a decent life, doing what I love to do and he’s not.” she shrugs. “He hates me for that.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“He hates me, E. He said it. He’s convinced himself that I just have hella money and because I won’t move him out here and pay his way through school or fund any of his ideas, I’m not a good sister. He’s the only boy in the family, so everybody has always babied his big ass. I’m not doing that. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned everything that I have. He can do the same.”

“I understand that. Ain’t shit free.”

She looks at him in disbelief. Everyone (her family and old friends from back home) felt like she was being too harsh on her brother for wanting him to put in some kind of work. They had always just given him what he wanted, no matter the cost. Phoenix had worked for everything. She had a job at 16 while her brother did whatever he wanted. He was given his first car from an uncle while Phoenix saved up her money to get herself one. That same car she saved up for is the same car that she drove to California. Everyone excused her brother actions because he was just a free spirit. Phoenix was too but she still had some discipline.

“Why you look at me like that?” Erik asked.

“Because… you’re the first person to actually agree with me.”

“Hell yeah, I agree with you! That nigga better get a damn job.” That made her laugh. “Phoenix and Zion though. Interesting names for twins.”

“Our names were gonna be Zues and Megara since Hercules was my mama’s favorite movie.” Erik burst into laughter. “Thank God my grandma threw a bible at her ass and put a stop to that.” Phoenix joined in on the laughing.

Erik wiped a tear from his eyes, his laughter calming down. “Oh man. Speaking of names though. Can I tell you a secret?”

“Let me guess, Erik isn’t your real name or something?” she says, jokingly. Erik just looks at her, eyebrows raised. His silence answering his question. She slams her hand on the counter. “ERIK ISN’T YOUR REAL NAME?” she starts to raise up from the barstool. “Oh, fuck this. I’m out.”

Erik stops her, grabbing her arm. “Hold up. Hold up.” she snatches her arm from his hold. “Hear me out.” she motions for him to continue. “Technically, Erik is my name, but I also have my Wakandian name.”

“You better not be fucking with me.”

“I’m dead serious. I’m Erik Stevens but my real name is N’Jadaka.”

Phoenix takes a deep breath, staring at him like he has three heads. A whole minute passed with her just looking at him.  “I need more wine.” she finally says.

“Nah,” Erik stands, taking Phoenix’s hand, “ I know what you need.

Some dick! Her brain screamed at her. “What’s that?”

She followed him to the couch. He turned on the tv and picked up a blunt from the coffee table. They lean into each other, shoulder to shoulder as Erik lights the blunt, taking two drags of it and passing it to Phoenix. She takes a hit, holding in the smoke longer than she needed and slowly blowing it out. They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. They settled into the couch as Naruto played on the tv. Phoenix had come clean during one of their late night facetime calls that she started watching the show while he was gone and that she really liked it. They agreed to watch it together and here they were. As their highs hit them more, Erik dimmed the lights in the living room and got comfortable laying on Phoenix’s lap. They remained in this position until Phoenix’s legs were numb. She repositioned herself under him to lay fully on her back and he placed his body over hers, resting his head on stomach. He was heavy but she liked it. She wanted him to stay there forever.

Phoenix had been absentmindedly playing in Erik’s locs for an entire episode. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped. His hand came out of nowhere and placed her hand back in his hair. She giggled and continued rubbing his scalp again. She looked down at him and noticed that his eyes were closed. This man was falling asleep.

“Erik…” she called him softly.

“Hm.” he moaned.

“Are you sleep?”

“I’m resting my eyes.” his voice was low and raspy. He was definitely asleep. Phoenix waited a couple minutes before calling his name again, but this time she didn’t receive a response. She pulled out her phone, opening her front camera and took a picture of them. Erik’s face buried in her stomach and her fingers, tangled in his locs. She then opened her Instagram, swiping to make a story. A boomerang of course. She made one with the caption ‘Niggas be like, I’m just resting my eyes.’ She posted it and sat her phone down on the floor. She was pretty tired herself but the truth is, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right here, under him. So she did.

--------

Erik naturally woke up a little after  7am. He wanted to lay with Phoenix longer but his body was so used to waking up early, he knew he had to just get up. As soon as he moved from off of her, she curled up into the fetal position. He grabbed a blanket, placing it over Phoenix’s now balled up body. He stood over her, admiring how peaceful she looked while sleep. He then headed upstairs into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He changed into some compression pants and basketball shorts. He remained shirtless and went out to his workout area and began his at home workout.

An hour later, he was sweaty and tired. He checked over the railing to see Phoenix still asleep. She was still balled up in the same spot. He laughed to himself remembering that she never wakes up before noon. He goes back into his bathroom to shower and change into some fresh clothes. He left his locs to lay wildly over his face and came back downstairs to clean up last night’s dishes. The clanking of the dishes and ruffles of the dishwasher still didn’t get Phoenix to wake up. She was a hard sleeper. The opposite of Erik. Maybe it was his Navy training, but Erik could hear wind shift directions in his sleep. It was still early, just after 10. He’s let her sleep in some more.

He sat near her on the couch to watch some tv and lazily scrolled through his phone. He opened the Instagram app and the first thing he noticed was Phoenix’s profile picture at the top of his screen, glowing pink. He tapped it and the boomerang of them played over and over. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. He did everything he could to conceal the grin that threatened to appear on his face as if someone was watching. He watched it more times than he would care to admit. Phoenix began to stir in her sleep. One of her feet poked out from under the blanket. Her sock was missing and her neon pink toes struggled to find shelter under his thigh. He picked up her foot, setting it on his lap and started massaging her foot. He did this while watching tv until his fingers were tired.

It was approaching noon and Phoenix still hadn’t budged. She had a hair appointment in a few hours and Erik knew it was time to wake her. He softly shook her leg, calling her name.

“Philly. C’mon, baby girl. Get up.”

“Hm?” she moaning from under the blanket.

“Get up.”

He had to shake her a little harder for her to actually wake up. She sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She looked disheveled-- her hair were all over her head, she looked confused about where she was and she was missing a sock.

“Morning, baby girl.” He sat back, rubbing her unsocked foot again.

“Morning.” she yawned. She stared blankly ahead, trying to process that she’s awake now. The fresh scent of his body lotion traveled under her nose and she looked at him, taking in the fact that he was fully dressed and looked damn good.

“You smell good.” her tired voice rung out.

“Thank you.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Like seven thirty.”

She shook her head, “Early as fuck,” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it now?”

“Almost noon. Figured I’d wake you up so you’re not late for your hair appointment.”

Phoenix shifted her body and laid her head on his lap. “I don’t want to go to that.”

“Nah, Phoenix. Get yo’ ass up. You’re not about to blame me for your hair not being done later.”

Phoenix moaned in protest. He slipped his hand in her curls, rubbing her head. “How am I supposed to get up and you’re doing shit like this?”

He stopped and lifted her up from him. He held her chin, “Because… you need to go wash your hair, wash your face, brush them teeth and put some lotion on this ashy ass foot you had on me.”

She swatted his hand from her face. “You can suck my ass, Erik. My foot ain’t ashy.”

“I’ll do more than suck your ass, baby girl.” he licked his lips. Phoenix watched closely as his tongue grazed his lips. She had zoned out, flashing back to all of the dreams that she’s been having of him doing just what he said. Her breathing hitched and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The snapping of his fingers in front of her face, snatched her from her mind.

“Hm?”

He raised a brow at her. “You were thinking about me sucking your ass, huh?”

“What-- No!”

“Mhm.” he chuckled.

“I see you want to start with me early today.” she says as she stands and searches under the blanket for her sock.

“Early? Girl, half the damn day is gone.”

“Whatever. It’s early to me.” She finds her sock and sits down to put it on. She fills on the floor for her phone, checking it and seeing that the group chat with her friends is currently up in flames with 23 unread messages. She swipes to open the thread and finds that she’s butt of their jokes.

Mica: I know Phoenix up. She’s avoiding us right now.

Camren: lmao. That’s because Erik giving her that morning wood.

Mica: Right! “Niggas be like” head ass.

Ava: She think she slick too. Y’all notice how she made sure you couldn’t see his face?

Camren: yessss! No face. No Case.

Mica: lmfao.

“Oh my goodness.” Phoenix drags a hand over her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“My crew as you call them, they’re lighting my ass up right now about something I posted on Instagram.”

“Oh, that boomerang?” Her head snapped in his direction. “Yeah, I seen that.” he bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

“How did you see that?”

“I follow you.”

“What? When-- when did you follow me?”

Erik shifted his focus to his phone, looking unbothered at the fact that he just snitched on himself. “I been following you.”

“Since when?”

“Don’t worry about all that. Stop being fake bougie and follow me back.”

Phoenix was stunned that she didn’t know this information. She felt exposed. “This is weird. What’s your name?”

He snatched her phone from her hands and searched his name @Kingkill_ . His page was private so he requested a follow from her page. He exited out of the app and opened her messages, going to her group chat. Phoenix watched, confused as to what he was going to do. He tapped the photo icon and the camera popped up on screen.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Erik pushed Phoenix down onto her back, and straddled himself over her. She tried to grab the phone but he held her wrist in place and tapped the red button to record. He started dramatically humping her and laughing.

“Get off me nigga.” she shouted.

“Hold on, baby. I’m almost done.”

One of Phoenix’s hands broke free from his grip and she swung on him, reaching for her phone. He jumped up and ran. She pushed herself up from the couch going after him. He ran into his guest bedroom and locked the door. Phoenix banged on the door, shouting for him to open the door.

“I will break this bitch down. Open the door Erik.”

“Try it if you want to.”

Erik leaned his large figure against the shaking door. He proceeded to send the compromising video to her friends in the group chat. After hitting send, he unlocks the door and Phoenix stands there looking pissed with her arms folded over her chest. He hands her the phone and she snatches it and storms off.

“You really mad?” He goes after her.

She tries her best to not break her fake mad face. But seeing him laugh at her, she couldn’t hold it. “You play too much. They’re about to drag my ass.”

“C’mere.” He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, placing kisses all over her face. “You like it on the low.” She pushed herself off of him.

“I have to go get my hair done. I’ll see your childish ass later.”

As she turned to go put on her shoes, Erik smacks her on her butt and follows her to the door. All ready to go, she goes in for a hug and quickly gripped his face in her small hand and blew her breath in his face. The smile on his face dropped and snatched his face away. “You nasty! Get out of my house.”

Phoenix broke down in laughter. “That’s what you get for playing.”

[rome5683]

My Secret Mate - Chapter Two

—-

It was the most boring day of school ever. For some reason, I could never find him anywhere I looked. We didn't have any classes together, not even the same lunch period. It was surprisingly frustrating. The tests results were in by the end of the day, and somehow Trent had gotten the highest. It was unbelievable, but I was also relieved I'd have an excuse to be drunk. Maybe then I could curb this attraction to my mate, that I didn't want.

I pushed Trent playfully, "You only scored high 'cause you cheated on that girl besides you."

"Sure, I did." Trent scoffed as I leaned against my truck. "So what time does the party start again?"

I shrugged, "The flyer says seven, but I'm prepping for it as soon as I get home. You got the alcohol?"

Trent grinned, "Heck yeah. I'll bring it around six, okay? The kegs can be tough to bring in."

I nodded and looked to Lindsay. "You coming to my house right now or later?"

She nodded, "Yeah. Can we swing by mine so I can get a change of clothes?"

"Yeah, for sure."

Bella pulled me to the side, "Hey. So, where did you run off to this morning?"

I pursued my lips, not really knowing how to answer. I decided honesty would be better, I didn't wanna hurt her. "I found my mate."

"Oh." Her eyes widened a bit, "Did you... reject them?"

I shook my head, "It's... complicated."

She nodded, "Um, so this thing between us..."

I felt guilt prickle at the edges of relief. After meeting him, the thought of being with her in that way somewhat repulsed me.

"I'm okay with it. As long as you're not... involved with them."

I looked at her incredulously. "Are you serious?"

She blushed, "Of course. I mean, as long as we aren't hurting anyone, it's fine."

It was hurting me! I was going to flat out refuse her, but then I thought about how I might reject him. I might need all the comfort I can get at one point in the future, so maybe I should utilize this. "Maybe, yeah. I'll let you know what happens with them, okay?"

She smiled, reaching up to peck my cheek. "See you at the party."

I gave her the fakest smile of my life, and went back to the car. I got into the driver's seat, shaking my head at Lindsay.

"I don't wanna hear it."

"You're gonna hear it, asshole." I reversed, then began to drive out of the lot. "You know you're just leading her on, right?"

"I told her I met my mate-"

"But you promised the possibility of being with her. You're giving her false hope-"

I felt myself burst, "It's not entirely false, okay? I just... my mate is human. And I can't exactly reject them without an explanation."

Lindsay huffed, "Sure. That's the reason. You know what-"

I turned the radio up, tuning her out as it played I Belong To You by Muse. It was a good song, and I loved it. But for some reason, it reminded me of the very thing I wanted to forget about. My hands clenched around the steering wheel, suddenly thinking of him, even though I didn't want to.

Lindsay shouted, "Hey! This sounds different!"

I smirked as I yelled over the music, "It's the New Moon remix!" I didn't wanna say much, but it was my favorite movie series to binge-watch, though it wasn't without its faults. The writer could be controversial, and so could the storyline, but the Twilight Saga just hit me different. It was like a weird coping mechanism, I'd watch it over and over whenever I could.

"It's good!" She smiled at me, knowing she's the one who dragged me into her twilight craze. I remember watching it with her every time a new movie came out. I even had the book collection, as well as the new one that just came out.

We pulled up to her house, Monsè and Lindsay running inside. I rested against the seat, turning off the car as I thought about what tonight would bring. What if he didn't feel anything for me? Didn't he? He had to have felt something for me. He did blush when I was flirting, so maybe he did.

I looked down at my hands, annoyed at my chipped and black nail polish. I started peeling them off, not wanting him to think it was trashy. Since when did I care what he thinks? I suddenly felt self-conscious about the way I looked. My somewhat wide shoulders, and I was muscular but I felt like I looked scrawny compared to my friends. My tan skin was sprinkled with freckles here and there, and the rings on my hand made my fingers look a little fat. Were my fingers too long? My hands were maybe too big too.

I looked in my driver's side mirror, and sighed as I tried to fix my hair. It was too unruly, and my eyebrows were a little too unkempt. My eyes weren't exactly rare, just a dark and shitty brown color. My lips were looking a little dry, I decided to add some chapstick. It was cherry, one of my favorite flavors, and it made my lips have a tint of red, or maybe just hydrated.

I still hated my appearance, and just slammed the mirror away as I listened to the next song on the radio more intently. I muttered along to the lyrics, my mind involuntary thinking about romantic situations between him and I.

"I miss you, Berlin..." I imagined him showing up to the party, flirty comments being exchange between us. "The taste still lingers on..."

I imagined us dancing, drinking, playing games together. Maybe during a certain song, during a certain dance, we'd get closer and closer. Our lips would meet, and it'd be a desperate but sweet kiss.

The car door slammed shut, scaring me out of my daydream. I looked to Lindsay and Monsè in surprise, lowering the radio. "Hey, you guys got everything you need?"

Lindsay nodded, and Monsè just pulled out her phone. I turned up the radio, the same song still playing. After a couple seconds, both Lindsay and I sang as loud as we can, really jamming out into it. "Our lips touched beneath the stars! The lights flashed from passing cars! Your face melted in my heart, and it showed me who you are!"

Even Monsè got into it.

"I feel my heart explode, I can't explain! The sky is falling down!"

We pulled up to my house in a screeching halt, and we kept singing to the so until it ended. I turned off the car, spent from singing as much as I could. We got off the car, talking about what we'd prepare for the party tonight, and how we'd prepare for it.

It was six thirty now, and everything was almost set up. My parents had left, and Trent and Bella were getting the kegs off their brother's car. The lights and sound system was being set up by Lindsay, lent to us by her uncle, with some help from Lance. Monsè was preparing the snacks, plates, cups, and dips. I was in my room, wondering what I should change into for tonight. I wanted to impress him. Them, I meant them, everyone at the party, I wanted to impress everyone at the party.

I decided on a white tank top, with a charcoal short sleeve button-up that was unbuttoned, and changed into light blue skinny jeans. I put a chain on the right side of my jeans, changing into some vans instead of the doc martens, and a silver chain around my neck as well. I wondered if I should leave my rings on, and I decided maybe earrings would look nice. Just simple diamond ones would do, I decided.

I looked in the mirror, deciding maybe a small application of orange lip tint would do. No, garnet was a better color on my tan skin. Besides, it wasn't matte, but it was just a slight lip tint.

I shook my head, annoyed how I could be so overwhelmed about impressing some stranger. My inner wolf practically growled, which means I growled under my breath at the mere thought of regarding him as a stranger. He was my mate. But I didn't want him to be. But I did want him.

This was confusing.

It was eight now. The girls were dancing with their friends, and I was in the kitchen with Trent, Grayson, Raul, and Ethan. Most of the pack had come, all the ones in high school or colleges nearby of course, and it was refreshing to just be with the guys for a bit. Lindsay has been talking my ear off about Bella before the party started, and I didn't need to hear it.

I chuckled at Grayson and Raul as they wrestled. Grayson was your standard football player with a heart of gold, and he had a huge sweet tooth. Raul was more into soccer, and was very vain, yet somewhat kind but always spoke his mind whether it was dumb or smart or rude or nice. Ethan was the most sarcastic, even above me, and the most cynical, unlike me. I considered myself realistic.

Trent laughed, "Come on, Grayson! Beat his ass!"

Ethan rolled his eyes, "Raul obviously has the upper hand."

I sipped at my iconic red party cup, it was filled with this fruit punch alcohol. I wanted to stop thinking about the fact he wasn't here yet, I wanted to stop watching the clock tick as time went by, as I waited for him to show. Thank god, I couldn't taste the alcohol over the sweet punch, because I didn't like anything bitter.

Raul pinned Grayson with a triumphant laugh, and stood up with both arms held high. Everyone in the kitchen with us cheered, and I shook my head at the stupidity of the whole thing. Trent reached up in the cabinets, pulling out a bunch of shot glasses.

"Now for the main event! Raul, go get Lindsay." He nodded and took off to the living room, amidst all the dancing swarm of teenagers. "The birthday boy, and my best friend Lindsay, are gonna have five shots. Anybody wanna join?"

The whole kitchen seemed to murmur about whether or not they'd want to. Bella appeared from the crowd with a grin, she seemed a little tipsy already, and stood across the island from me. Her eyes seemed to try to flirt with me, I looked away. I couldn't even think of trying to be with her right now.

"I'll do it."

Trent gave his sister a high five, "Heck yeah!"

Raul came back with Lindsay, her face etched with a scowl. She wasn't much of a team player, and hated losing at anything. Nevertheless, she marched next to me, raising a brow, "I can't believe we lost to him."

I snickered, "Neither can I."

The scent hit me, and my head snapped over to the front door. I could sense he was here now, but where? I caught sight of him down the hall, looking around for what I assumed was me. His hair was pushed back, and he was wearing a hoodie which was rolled up by its sleeves. His blue jeans and converse looked great, and the watch on his wrist made him look hotter somehow. He ran a hand through his hair before his eyes met mine, and a shy smile etched itself on his beautiful face. I walked over, placing my hand on his shoulder and leading him into the kitchen with us. It was like a small hum of electricity spread throughout my body when I touched him, and even when I let go, it was still there.

"We're doing shots, why don't you join us?" I placed him next to me, feeling giddy all of a sudden. "It's five of them, and it's not a race."

He raised an eyebrow, "Why? Scared you'll lose?"

Trent patted him on the back, "Don't challenge the master- you might just get schooled, dude."

I waved Trent off, grinning down at him. "You asked for it, pretty boy."

Trent set up the shots for all of us, including Lance, Grayson, Raul, and himself. Ethan and Monsè simply watched, for two reasons being that they didn't want to drink, and they made for good referees. In this case, they would shout who won.

Trent bellowed, "Ready?! Set! GO!"

I drank as fast as I could, the harsh but semisweet liquid of tequila going down my throat. I set the last shot down with a grunt, looking up as everyone shouted and laughed.

Trent looked at Ethan and Monsè expectantly, "So who won?"

Monsè chuckled and pointed, "The random guy next to Xavier."

Everyone started talking about how it had stung, or how it was rigged. Some even joked about how they had seen his jaw unhinge to drink faster. My mate had won.

I looked at him surprised, and he looked at me with a smirk. His face was flushed, which was a really cute look at him.

I leaned in, a little too close, but not close enough for my inner wolf to be satiated. "Hey, so I never got your name."

He cleared his throat, licking his lips, "It's Seth."

I nodded, "Xavier. Pronounced with an J, spelt with an X."

He nodded with a smile, "Cool." There was tension from the close proximity, but I didn't back away. He didn't either. "So, how's it feel to be a loser?"

"Well, it's a little bit of a bummer." I shrugged, "But I'm also in the presence of a winner, so. It's a win-win."

He laughed, shaking his head. "So what now?"

I looked around, seeing everyone talking amongst themselves, and everyone dancing to the music. I cocked my head towards the living room, "Let's go dance."

I grabbed my drink, along with Seth's wrist, leading him through the crowd of people. There was a couch in the back, filled with stoners and people who were entangled in hormones. Towards the front, there was music and different colored lights. I led him to the front, pulling him somewhat close as the music bumped. It was a mix of rock and alternative, and it was made up of my favorite music. We didn't necessarily dance together, but we didn't dance apart from each other either.

We danced for what seemed like ages, but was only forty minutes. I leaned in, putting my mouth against his ear. "Wanna get something to drink and maybe play some video games in my room?"

He nodded as I leaned away, and for a second we stood there before I led him away again. In the small lobby by the stairs, there was a table set up with the alcohol fruit punch and chips and other snacks.

I served us both, handing his cup and sipping from mine before pointing upstairs. My words slightly slurred, "I lied. There are no video games in my room. I mean, there are, but honestly I just wanted to get out of that crowd. It was sweaty, and I'm hot-"

Seth nodded, "Yeah, me too."

"Yeah." I chuckled, licking my lips to taste more of that fruit juice. "So, what are your classes? I didn't see you anywhere today."

His mouth formed a small 'o', "Oh. Yeah, I left early because I had a doctor's appointment. I think I have you for the second lunch period, fifth and sixth period."

I felt excited at the prospect of seeing him everyday. I bit my lip, "So wanna hang around here or..." I scratched the back of my neck, "...maybe I can give you a little tour of my room?"

He shrugged, looking around nonchalantly before leaning in with a wide smile. "I think a small break from the party wouldn't hurt."

I smirked, walking upstairs. I looked back as he stood there with a blush, and I cocked my head. "You coming or what?"

Seth took a deep breath, downing the rest of his drink before following me to my room. He walked quickly, slowing down when he caught up to me. I led him down the small hallway, motioning to the room at the end.

I opened the door for him, allowing him to walk into my room. "Make yourself at home."

My room wasn't super big, or super small. The walls were painted a dark garnet, with small pieces of graffiti here and there.

Seth had noticed a particular one about a girl's profile with a pained expression by my bed, looking at me with his eyes shining in awe, "You draw these?"

I nodded as I closed the door, feeling sheepish. My bed was slightly messy, the blanket crumpled at the bottom and the pillows were ruffled. It was a subtle gray theme with black in the form of pillows and stuffed animals. The posters on my wall were just some bands and movies I had taken interest in here and there. I cleaned it when I got home, so the desk looked semi-okay with my sketchbooks open with papers full of unfinished sketches. My tv was on the opposite wall of my bed, with the entertainment center semi-okay. My dresser had a bunch of little nic knacks and small toys from shows I watched.

He scoffed, "These are amazing." He then walked over to my desk, seeing the papers thrown around. He looked back at me with a smile, "I saw how good you were in art class... but I didn't know... You really have a gift."

I shrugged, "Thanks. I spent years trying to perfect my skills." I plopped down on my bed, slipping off my shoes. I gave him a serious look, leaning against my bed frame with my arms behind my head. "So, you bring me a birthday present?"

Seth chuckled as he sat beside me, kicking off his own shoes. "Maybe. Why?"

I shook my head with a smile, "Just wondering." I glanced at him nervously, before grabbing a rubix cube from my bedside table. Him being so close was so... intoxicating. The door being closed made it worse. I bit down on my lip hard, almost enough to make me bleed, to make myself focus. "Ever done one of these?"

He took it gingerly, looking at it with peculiar determination. "I've seen them around, just never got around to getting one."

I laughed as he started moving it around, "So tell me about yourself. All I know is your name's Seth, and you're in my grade."

He glanced at me before refocusing onto the cube, "Well, I'm a Taurus. Very chill, but my moon is a Leo. I'm prideful. Stubborn. I like a challenge, but if it's too much and too costly, I'll quit. I like writing." He passed me back the Rubix cube with one side completed, it was the white side. "Your turn."

I went at the cube too, "You know I like drawing. I like parties. I know I'm a Libra, but not about moons and shit. Um, what else?" I passed it back to him, the red and white side now completed. "I like rock and reggaeton. I can watch shitty movies all day, including the twilight saga. I'm a lazy bum, so lazy that even though I'm built like a god, I hate sports. Too much work, too much time spent away and not relaxing. I usually say what's on my mind, but sometimes I find myself keeping some things to myself. I'll eat junk food all day."

I looked at him in surprise, realizing I'd been droning on. He didn't seem bothered, just focused on the cube. I liked this banter, it was refreshing. The alcohol didn't seem able to curb the attraction like I thought, but it helped that I couldn't hear my inner wolf egging me on to jump him. Though, the smell was a nuisance. An attractive, fuckable nuisance.

"Well, my turn." I nodded, my mouth suddenly feeling dry. "I'm also lazy. My favorite snacks are hot chips or sweet chocolate. And..." He passed me back my rubix cube, all messed up suddenly. "Yeah."

I looked at him in confusion, his small smile and the way he went off topic threw me off. I don't know how we had gotten so close, shoulder to shoulder. I noticed the hum from his touch, it was annoyingly addictive, and everything seemed to fade away. I leaned in slowly, and it seemed that so did he. Our lips grazed slightly, and I involuntarily shivered at the sensation. I pressed forward, kissing him softly. I closed my eyes, and I felt him tense up at first, but give in after a moment of hesitance. This was it, we were kissing. He moved his mouth slightly against mine, and it was like the most sensational feeling I've ever felt in my life. I couldn't begin to describe the way it made me feel, and I quickly took back everything I ever thought or said about mates before. This was like a gift, an amazing gift that I never wanted to take for granted. My body felt like it was slowly burning from the inside, and I wanted more. I felt sober now, suddenly very aware of everything that was happening between us. I could hear his heartbeat, feel his body heat, and hear his breathing.

I suddenly made the kiss deeper with a groan, suddenly wanting more. I tasted the sweet punch and the faintest alcohol. I heard his breathing stutter though, and realized he was out of breath. I pulled away, our noses brushing softly, and I heard Seth make a small whimper, and I suddenly developed a goofy grin on my face. He looked up at me, as if coming out of a daze, and his face flushed with sudden realization. He looked away, "Sorry. That was... Sorry. I've never really made that noise before."

I gently cradled his cheek, making him face me. "I didn't mind." He rolled his eyes, and I chuckled, "It was a nice birthday present."

He cleared his throat, twiddling with the hem of his shirt in nervousness. "Would you mind keeping that... keeping our kiss between us?"

I grinned, giving him a sensual kiss. He made a surprise moan as he kissed back, and it stirred something in me that I didn't want stirred. Not right now, at least. I pulled away, my voice suddenly feeling a little tight and restrained. "Of course. I don't kiss and tell."

He shook his head with a laugh, still blushing. "So besides luring innocent young men into your room to seduce them, what else do you do in your free time?" I smiled at his comment, leaning away and onto the headboard again.

‘Xavi, where are you? I was hoping to give you your present early.’ Bella's slurred words rang in my head, and I restrained a groan of annoyance.

‘Not now.’ My harsh tone earned a growl from her, her beta wolf wanting to tear me to pieces for the disrespect no doubt, but I blocked her and the rest of the pack out again.

"Well, I like to read sometimes. It has to be really interesting and consuming though. If it doesn't have me hooked from the beginning, it's hard to really get into it."

He nodded, "Yeah, I get you. I mostly read fiction 'cause of that, but I get a little attached sometimes. Especially in romances."

I smiled, "Yeah. I know what you mean completely. It's like you're there with them, and you wish you could help or explain, but you can't and it's really..."

"Frustrating."

"Yeah."

We talked. We talked about the most minuscule and unimportant things, but we talked. It was the nicest conversation, full of snarky remarks and small battles of wit. There was a point where he almost got up and left because of how I felt about Jacob from Twilight, but after hearing my argument about how his behavior in eclipse and being mated to an infant, he accepted my point of view. Didn't entirely agree, but accepted.

"So what? You want me to say that I would do the same if I were Ellie?"

I scoffed, "I mean, I don't know! I don't agree with the last part of the game, though she did kind of help them, she lost everything she cared about."

"She was doing it to avenge her family! Joel suffered, and Abigail was a bitch! You can't just blame her when she was in grieving-"

"Nah. She was being stupid, and you know it."

"It's more complicated than that, and you know it." He narrowed his eyes, I shrugged.

"Maybe."

He tensed, as if suddenly remembering something. "Shit, what time is it?"

I grabbed my phone out of my pocket, "Ten. Why?"

He winced, "My curfews in thirty minutes."

"Oh. Well, I guess we should do the cake then."

"There's cake, and you didn't tell me." He looked at me, almost aghast at the way I had withheld dessert from him.

I laughed, "I'll get you an extra big piece, okay?"

He seemed pleased at that, and followed me downstairs. I connected back into the mind link, slightly dazed as I walked towards the first floor of the house. ‘We're doing the cake, people. Trent, use your authority. Get everyone to the kitchen for the cake. Lindsay, get the knife.’

Trent's loud voice slurred in my mind, making me wince. ‘HOLY SHIT! It's cake time! It's cake time, bitches! Get ready now! Come on! Get the fuck to the kitchen! CAKE TIME! And ice cream, yum.’

"Cake time, people! Move your drunk, sexy asses!" His out loud voice was worse, more slurred and more obnoxious, but still authoritative.

Seth laughed beside me, "He's drunk." I laughed with him, and he raised an eyebrow. "Did you text him or something?"

"Oh, yeah." I nodded, cursing myself that I forgot how humans couldn't mind link like us. There was no other human way Trent would've known about cake time. I had to be more careful.

I walked in with a giddy feeling, and sat on the bar stool by the island and right in front of the cake. Seth was beside me, and Monsè lit the candles carefully. I glanced to see Bella staring at me from across the island, and I looked away. Lindsay giggled alongside the boys, (Grayson, Raul, and Ethan) and Lance was alongside her.

Trent laughed, loud. "One, two, three!"

On queue, everyone started to sing as the lights turned off. All I could was smile and laugh at the drunken slur of everyone's voices, and feel awkward at being sang at. I looked to Seth, his drunken grin and his cheeky dimples. How had I not noticed his dimples before? They were killing me.

The song was over, and Seth raised an eyebrow as he leaned in with a whisper. "Well? Make a wish."

I blew on the candles, thinking about him. Purely him. That was my wish.

We cut the cake in squares, it was red velvet and with Oreos on top. The cream on top was decorated with a bunch of badly drawn dicks and smiley faces, done by Monsè and Lance. It was obvious which one did what drawings. The ice cream, however, was rocky road.

I handed Seth his slice, and another cup of punch. I also got a slice and a drink, and we sat by the stairs eating and talking.

"Are you going to Uber? You shouldn't drink and drive."

Seth rolled his eyes, "I think I'll be fine."

"No, really. I'll order you an Uber."

He contemplated for a bit, before someone stumbled on the stairs by us, almost falling on his cake. "Can we eat in your room?"

I nodded, "Yeah. Let's go." I grabbed a couple beers for the road, for myself mostly. Mostly was a funny word. Most. Lee. Mostly. We were upstairs in a hurry, and I went in first, placing the cans and plate on the desk. "So, wanna watch something before you go-"

I gasped, his mouth firm on mine as his hands cradled my cheeks. I kissed him back, with more fervor.

Deeper. More. I kissed him more. Sloppy, even. I sighed against his lips, this was blissful. My body was like fire, a small and spreading fire that sent shocks everywhere.

He straddled me on my bed, and I bit at his bottom lip teasingly. My hands drifted to his thighs, slightly squeezing and massaging them. He kissed me again, placing his hands on my neck. I pulled away, looking up at him in a daze. He looked at me confused, and I smiled.

"You're really pretty like this."

"Like what?" His voice was a little husky, and it made me want to mark him then and there.

"On top of me." I smiled, again, at his wide eyes before finding his lips again. I travelled down to his jaw, kissing harder, even suckling the skin lightly.

He panted, pulling away with a light moan. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be doing this."

Seth laid on the bed behind me, and I sat there in a lustful haze. I was very confused now. All I could think about were the fireworks that went off in my head, and that it wasn't there anymore. As quick as the make out session had started, it had ended. I was frustrated. I looked over, about to ask what was wrong, but saw that he was asleep now. I shook my head with a laugh, and laid down next to him. He was cute.

I closed my eyes, wishing for him again. Again, and again.

______

THANKS! Like, repost, and comment your thoughts~ 😘

[dreamgirl4certain]

The Elevator Bae

SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

Erik Stevens x Black OC (Phoenix)

A/N: Just some cute shit here. | Song lyrics referenced are not my own. They are from a song by MILA J x Me and You. **I will be referencing lyrics from her music in the future. I picture her style of music when Phoenix’s is writing music. And I barely did any proofreading so my bad from the bottom of my heart.

Word Count: eh, idk. a lot.

***************************************

“I missed you so fucking much, baby girl.”

“I missed you too, E.” Phoenix huffed between words. Erik’s heavy figure above hers. His head rested in the crook of her neck as he placed wet kisses on her skin. She dug her fingertips into his back as he stroked her slow and deep. Her eyes stuck shut, moan trapped in her throat when she felt a vibration under her body. Where is this coming from?

Phoenix’s body jerked up and she looked around, realizing she was on her couch. It was dark out now and her tv screen paused with Netflix asking if she was still there. Her phone was ringing under her. That’s when it all hit her. She was dreaming. This was the third night in a row that dreamt of him. Three dreams, night after night of Erik doing all of the right things to her. Why is this happening to her?

Erik had been gone for ten days. The first few days, she poured herself into her work. She set up her equipment in her living room and did the best that could. remixing beats she already had and doing some writing. But has the days went on, she found herself thinking about Erik more and more. Thinking about how good he felt when she kissed him. Missing him, but she did everything but actually admit that to herself. She started watching Naruto because it was his favorite show, but she told herself it was because Netflix suggested it. She went out and bought two cases of Merinelli’s Apple Juice. But of course, not because he liked it, but because she ‘enjoyed the juice of apples.’ She told herself that he probably wasn’t even thinking about her. He’ll probably come back and not even bother talking to her again. Two weeks was more than enough time for him to realize that she wasn’t it and she should just prepare herself now, for that.

None of it worked, though she refused to accept the truth that she missed Erik. It ate her up inside that she couldn’t talk to him. He stayed in her mind constantly. She hated to like it.

“This is ridiculous.” She said to herself as she felt under her legs for her phone.

One missed call from Coby. She swiped the notification, selecting Call Back. When he answered, she could hear nothing but pure joy in his voice.

“PHILLY!” he yelled into the phone.

“Hey!” She pulled the phone away from her face and put it on speaker phone.

“My studio is done.”

Phoenix sat up, snatching the phone, bringing it closer to her face. “What! Say swear!”

“I swear. It’s finally done. You gotta come break it in.”

Coby had been working on building a studio in his home. Fully equipt. He promised that when it was done, she’d be the first person he called and she would be the first to record something in it. Before Phoenix could even express her excitement, Ava had taken over the phone call.

“Yeah, Philly. You might as well pack you a bag or three and come on.”

“A bag? Fuck she need a bag for?” Coby says.

“So she won’t have to leave. You know damn well y’all are about to be living in that damn room.”

“Bet!” Phoenix said. “I’m on my way.”

“Yay! We’re having a sleepover!” Ava yells into the phone. “See you when you get here.”

Phoenix ends the call. She rushes into her room to pack some clothes. She may or may not have packed enough to practically move in. She stuffed as much as she could in her giant Victoria Secret PINK duffle. Along with her face and hair products. She looked around to make sure she had everything. Her laptop was on the floor. She could NOT leave without that. She put it in her backpack with its charger and an extra phone charger and headed out the door. She texted Ava.

Phoenix: Be there in 20 minutes.

-------

Coby’s studio was her dream studio. It was huge. As soon as she walked in, purple lights glowed along the bottom of the soundproof glass that separated them from the recording booth. Coby turned on the lights that revealed all black decor and dark, hardwood floors. Phoenix walked in stroking her fingertips along the new equipment. Ava came in, sitting on the couch.

“You peep that?” Ava says, pointing to something inside of the recording booth. Phoenix goes inside to see. She looks up to see a huge black and white picture of her and Coby from when they were in the studio some time ago. One of Coby’s photographer friends had stopped by and took a few cool shots of them. Coby has the picture enlarged on a canvas and placed on the wall inside of the recording booth.

“Oh my gosh, Coby!” she grabbed his arms, shaking him.

Seeing her jump with joy, brought on the biggest smile that man has ever worn. “You like it?”

“I love it! What made you pick this one?”

“Well, we’re a team now, remember? I figured it was only right to put up a picture of me and my partner.”

“Aww… we haven’t come up with a cool name yet though.”

“We’ll figure that out in due time. But you like everything?”

“YES!”

Coby showed her around to look at everything that he had installed. Of course Phoenix’s favorite part was the fully stocked mini fridge and weed cabinet that held all of their smoking necessities. Phoenix wouldn’t be quiet about how proud of him she was. He had been working on this studio for months. He designed the entire thing himself.

They immediately got to work. Phoenix was so excited about the studio, and to be with her friends, she finally got her mind off of Erik… for now.  She was able to zone into her work. They created their first beat from scratch in the new space. Just as Ava had predicted, once Phoenix and Coby were in the studio, they were there for the rest of the night. After a few hours, Ava left them and went to bed. It was well into the next morning before the two of them had fallen asleep in the studio. They refused to leave.

--------

The next afternoon, Phoenix enjoyed a hot shower and co-washed her hair. She lotioned up with her favorite vanilla shea butter. She moisturized her hair and washed her face. She put on some sweatpants and a t-shirt. Just as she was applying some chapstick, Ava facetimes her.

“Morning!” Ava cheerfully says into the phone.

“Morning, love.”

“Get down here. I made food. I wanna see you before I leave out.”

“Where you goin’?” Phoenix says as she starts walking out of her chosen guest room to meet Ava and Coby down in the kitchen.

“I have a brand meeting.”

“Alright. I’m coming down the stairs.”

Ava ends the facetime call. Phoenix walks down the large staircase and through the hallway. She can see Coby sitting at the kitchen table. She joins him. They share a look before both breaking into smiles.

“You want eggs?” Ava asks Phoenix from the stove.

“Sure.”

Ava brings Phoenix a full plate of food. Phoenix pours herself some cranberry juice, mixing it with orange juice. Coby watches her mix the two drinks with furrowed brows. “Why do you that? That’s weird.”

“It’s delicious actually.” she takes a sip. “You should try it.”

“Nah, I’m good.”

The three of them sit and eat their food. Ava asked them about what they created in the studio and the way their faces lit up was enough to let her know they had a great session, breaking in the new studio. They played her the song they made. As the beat broke through the speaker, Phoenix’s voice rides the beat effortlessly. Ava squealed in excitement, hearing her friend singing.

Just me and you // nobody gon' break this up, this magic My nigga, my babe, nobody comes before me and you Numero uno, you know you my baby What had these bitches off of you lately?

“You sound so good!” Ava says. “You should drop this yourself.”

“I told her ass last night, that she should drop some music.” Coby adds.

Phoenix shakes her head. “Y’all crazy. Ain’t nobody trying to hear me sing.”

“You’re crazy! You telling me that you’ve never thought about releasing some of those songs you have locked away? You have a pretty voice, Philly. I think people would love you.”

“It’s crossed my mind, but I’m good.”

Ava rolled her eyes at her. Coby checks the time on his phone. “You better get out of here before you’re late. Traffic probably already crazy.” Ava takes one last sip of her drink. She gets up from the table, picking up her dishes and taking them to the sink.

“Don’t worry about those. I got it.” Coby says.

Ava leaves her dishes and starts out of the kitchen. “I’ll see y’all in a couple hours.”

Coby listened out to hear the front door open and close. As soon as he did, he looks at Phoenix. She’s so into her food, that she didn’t notice at first. When she did, she locked eyes with him and they stared at each other until one of them blinked first. Phoenix’s eyes couldn’t take it and she blinked. “Fuck!”

“I don’t know why you think you can beat me.”

“Nobody should be able to go that long without blinking. Something is wrong with you.”

Coby continues to stare at her as she eats. As he watches her, he notices that she checks her phone every few seconds. She’s not usually the type to be so caught up with her phone. She checks it again, this time, locking it and flipping it over.

“What’s up with you?” he asks.

“Hm? What are you talking about?”

“You keep checking your phone. You expecting a call or something?”

“No.” she says quickly.

Coby smirks. “You waiting on Erik to text you?”

Her face drops and she rolls her eyes, trying to avoid looking in his direction. “No. I was-- I was just checking the time.”

Coby notices the change in her demeanor and the protector in him activates. “What happened? That nigga do something?” His words came out slightly louder than how he was talking before. They were stern.

“No,” she waves him off. “Nothing happened. I haven’t even talked to him.”

“Why not?”

Phoenix looks at him in disbelief. She feels like she’s getting grilled by her Mom. “He’s away right now… for work.”

“And he can’t talk to you? What the fuck do he do?”

Phoenix isn’t getting out of this conversation so she surrenders and figures she’d just answer Coby’s questions. She sits her fork down and leaned back in her chair. “He’s in the Navy. He had to leave for two weeks.” she says, figuring it was the safest answer. She can’t be telling people he’s hired to take people out.

“Hm. When did he leave?”

“Last Tuesday.”

“You must have gave that nigga some good-bye pussy or something.”

“Wha-- No!”

‘Then why you actin’ weird?” Coby tries to catch Phoenix’s eye to see if she’s lying. She avoids him by looking off at nothing in the kitchen.

“I’m not acting weird. You are. Asking me all of these damn questions.” she snapped.

“You are acting weird. I’m just trying to make sure you good and I don’t have to kill that nigga. I bring his name up and you get all tense and shit.”

Phoenix doesn’t respond. She looks down and picks at her fingers. Coby patiently waits for her to give him something. When she doesn’t, he tries to push a little more. Phoenix is good for keeping things locked in. But not on his watch.

“Aye,” she looks at him. “Talk to me. What’s the problem?”

She takes a deep breath. “I’m just… I don’t know.”

“Phoenix.” his voice was stern.

“I think I’m scared.”

“Scared of what?” Coby leaned onto the table, all ears.

“I- I can’t believe I’m about to tell you this.” He motioned for her to go on. “I’ve only ever been with one person and that clearly didn’t end well, and--  I don’t really want to allow someone to hurt me again.”

“That’s not fair Phoenix.”

“What’s not fair?”

“Erik isn’t your ex. It’s not fair to hold what that lame ass nigga did against him. You have to let that shit go.”

Phoenix looked away at nothing again. She knew he was right.

“Aye…” Coby tapped the table. Phoenix looks at him. “I’ma tell you this, but keep it between me and you.” Phoenix agrees with a nod. “My ex, she wasn’t shit. Fucked around on me with half the niggas in the industry. We were supposed to get married and everything but I called off all that shit when I found out what she was out here doing. Everybody knew but me.”

“Wait!” Phoenix interjected with wide eyes. “You were gonna get married, Coby?”

He kissed his teeth. “Yeah man. That was a few years ago and it has nothing to do with my point.”

Phoenix through her hands up in surrender.

“Anyways… as I was saying. I was done dirty but I didn’t let that shit stop me from going after Ava. I still found it in me to care about somebody. I treat her crazy ass like the queen that she is because that hurt shit is the past. Ava is my fresh start and clearly Erik is yours.”

“What makes you think that?”

“It’s all in  the music, Phoenix. I’m not stupid. I can always tell what you’re feeling based off what you write. You like Erik. Just let the shit happen.”

Phoenix nods. “I cannot believe you didn’t tell me you were engaged.” she says, trying to steer the conversation away from her and her alleged feelings for Erik.

Coby stands up from the table, picking up their plates. “Happened before I met you. Don’t like talking about it.”

He washed their plates and pans on the stove. Phoenix got up and started walking out. “I’ll be in the studio.”

-----------

The next few days, anxiety filled up in Phoenix. She counted the days down until Erik came back. She continued her stay at Coby’s with him and Ava to distract herself as much as she could. Erik’s return day came and went with no sign of him. He hadn’t texted her. She figured he would. But maybe he was tired and just wanted to rest. She was so confused about how she should feel. But when two more days passed and still no text from him, she figured she would take this ‘L’ like a champ and move on. She didn’t want to talk about it with Coby or Ava and she had lost her desire to make music. It would all be about Erik anyway. She didn’t want to do that to herself. 

Phoenix stood over the bed in the guest room that she had rightfully deemed her room and packed up all of her stuff. Ava sat on the bed, watching her.

“You should just move in, Philly. Then we can all be together, all the time.” Ava says.

“You don’t even live here!” They hear Coby yell from his room, down the hall.

“Ain’t nobody even talking to you!” Ava yells back. Her and Phoenix share a look before laughing. “He be killing me, not minding his business.”

“But, speaking of you not living here. When was the last time you went home?” Phoenix asked.

Ava looked up to the ceiling in thought. “It’s been a couple weeks. I should probably go back though. I’m sure the food in my fridge is done for and I definitely need to wash some clothes.”

“Ew, A!” Phoenix laughs. She just shrugs. “Welp… I’m all packed up.”

Ava gives Phoenix a very dramatic sad face. “I’m gonna miss you.”

“Relax, love.” Phoenix places a petty hand on Ava’s shoulder. “A couple more weeks and we’ll be ass out on a beach.”

“Yes and then right after that… it’s your birthday.” Ava pokes her in her sides between words, tickling her.

“Stop! No need to be extra. It’s not that big of a deal.” Phoenix throws on her hoodie and slip her feet into her sneakers.

“You bet not say you don’t wanna do anything, because we’re doing something for your birthday.”

“Y’all can’t do it here!” Coby yells.

“SHUT UP!” “BE QUIET!” they yell back. Both rolling their eyes. Why was he listening so damn hard?

Phoenix goes down to Coby’s room where he’s playing 2k and she says her goodbyes to him. She tries to kiss him on the cheek and snaps back, away from her. “Gone with all that shit, Philly. Don’t you see I’m in a game?”

“This game can’t be that damn important if your ear hustling on what me and Ava talking about.”

“Nah, y’all niggas were just loud. Which is why y’all need to get out my house.”

Ava storms into the room. “Fuck you! I ain’t going nowhere.” She smacks him in the back of the head, making him pause the game.

“Don’t be putting your little ass hands on me. You can get ya’ shit and leave with your friend.”

Ava leans down to his ear and whispers something to him that makes his eyebrows raise up into his hairline. He clears his throat. “You know what… you can stay, bae.” He looks to Phoenix, “I love you, Phoenix, but you have to go now. This was fun. It really was, but Ava will show you to the door.”

Phoenix is disgusted. “Y’all are gross. I’m out.” She turns on her heels, heading back into the guest room for her bags. Ava follows her downstairs and walks her out.

“Let me know when you get home, okay?” Ava gives Phoenix one of those long, auntie hugs. Back rubs and all.

-----

Phoenix sat at a red light when her phone started ringing over the speakers. When she looked to see who it was, she almost choked on her spit. It was Erik. He was facetiming her. He’s never actually called her before, let alone facetime. They only talked in person or text. Her palms become sweaty at a new record speed. She wiped her hand on her hoodie and hit the green button to answer. The street lights lit her face up enough for him to see her. She looked down into the phone to see his face almost covered with a hoodie over his head.

“Hey.” his voice was deep and raspy.

“Hey.”

The light turns green and Phoenix drives off, quickly looking away from the phone on the mount. He just watched her for a moment as she focused on the road and traffic. “You going somewhere?” he finally asked.

“I’m on my way home. Just left Coby’s.”

“Oh.”

She could tell he wanted to say something more than just ‘Oh.’ As she came to a stop at another red light, she focused her attention back to the phone. “What’s up, Erik?” her tone came out frustrated. He’s been back for days now and he hadn’t texted her at all. He randomly facetimes her and barely has anything to say. She was definitely annoyed with how this was going right about now. 

“Can I see you?”

“Sure.”

“How far are you from here?”

She drives off once again. “Like ten minutes.”

“Alright.” There’s movement on his end of the phone. “I’ll wait for you in the garage. See you when you get here.”

“Um… okay.”

The call ends and Phoenix is every bit of confused as to how she should take this. He hasn’t talked to her and now he wants to see her. What the fuck was happening right now?

She arrived in the parking garage of her apartment and Erik is waiting, standing outside his car. She decided to leave her bags in her backseat and gets out to go to him. As she approaches him, he motions to the car, opening the passenger door. “Ride with me somewhere.” Phoenix very hesitantly gets into his car. He gets in and drives off. The ride was silent. He was distant. Not the Erik she had become use to. He was so closed off and she wanted to ask, but didn’t really know how. She didn’t know what to say. She just rode. She laid back into the seat and just looked out the window. The car ride wasn’t long. They pulled into a parking lot and as Phoenix searched around, looking out of the windows, she realized they were at the beach. There weren't many people out. Just a few bodies walking around. Erik turned the car off and opens his door to get out. Phoenix follows. He spares her a look and starts walking onto the sand, toward an empty picnic table. Phoenix doesn’t follow him immediately. She watches him walk and takes note of the slight dip when he takes a step. He turns looking for her and expecting her to be right behind him. When she’s not,  he stops to wait. She slowly begins her journey to him. When she approaches him, he takes her hand in his and guides her the rest of the way to the picnic table. Erik steps up onto the table, sitting on the top of it. He leaves just enough room between his legs for Phoenix to sit. He pulls her up on the reserved seat. As she settles into her place between his thighs, he wraps his arms around her torso and rests his face on her shoulder.

Silence.

Neither of them talk. They sit. The moon’s light sits on top of the water before them and faint sounds of the city in the distance. The few people roaming the beach had left, leaving just them with one another. Phoenix listened to Erik’s steady breath in her right ear and the sounds of small waves in the left. She felt calm. The slight irritation she had with Erik had subsided.

The late night breeze flowed right off of the water and a shiver crept up Phoenix’s spine. Erik felt her shake and wrapped his arms around her body completely, holding her tighter.

“Better?” his baritone voice spoke low in her ear.

“Mhmm.” she rested her head back on him.

“I missed you.” he whispered.

Without thinking, Phoenix’s words flew from her mouth. “Then why didn’t you text me?”

“I just needed some space… some time to decompress or whatever.”

“I get that. I just would like to know that you’re okay.”

“I’m sorry. Not really used to having to check in with anybody.”

Phoenix lifted her body from his and turns to look at him. “Well, you don’t have to check in with me then.” she snapped.

Erik sighs. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’ll let you know next time.”

“Nah, you don’t have to worry about it.” she faces forward but folds her body into her lap. Erik pulls her back to him. She resisted at first but eventually submitted. Resting her body against his chest again. She felt defeated. He wrapped his arms around her again, placing his face in her neck. He doesn’t do anything. He just lays there, lips barely grazing her skin. Phoenix silently prayed he’d move, though she wanted him to stay. 

“It won’t happen again. I’m sorry.” he said into her neck.

She took in a deep breath. Coby’s words popping up in her mind. ‘Let that shit go. Let Erik be your fresh start.’  

“I missed you too, Erik.”

His lips pressed firmly on her neck then. Her body melted more into his.

“Why are you so understanding?” he asked.

She shrugs. “It’s just who I am, I guess.”

“I don’t deserve you.”

“Why would you say that?”

He lifts his head, looking out at the water. Phoenix’s head falls back onto his chest. His grip around her loosens. “I’m no good for you. You’re too much of a good person for a nigga like me. I do terrible shit and you still find a way to be understanding about it.”

“Erik...”

“Everything I touch dies, Phoenix. I don’t wanna ruin your life.”

“Shut up, Erik.”

“Phoenix--” She cuts him off and turns to face him again. She pulls the strings on his hoodie and moves her face closer to his. They’re eye to eye.

“I’m a grown ass woman. I make my own decisions, so if you ruin my life, it’ll be because I let you. I’m not scared of none of that shit you’re talking. I had my chance to cut you off when you told me that you’re basically an assassin. You mark your body for every fucking kill Erik. I tried counting them damn scars on your arms and I lost count… three times,” She dramatically throws up three fingers. “I’m understanding because I know what it’s like to only have yourself. I’m understanding because somebody has to be. Somebody has to be a safe space for your dumbass.” She lets go of his hoodies strings. “Even though I couldn’t get a damn text letting me know you were still alive.” she says sarcastically. 

Her words hit him right in the chest. ‘Somebody has to be.’ Nobody had ever tried to be understanding of him. Nobody wanted to be and here this girl is, wanting to be that somebody. He felt a sense of safety with her that he couldn’t explain before and this confirmed everything he was feeling. This woman was special and the only explanation for how he got so lucky was that Bast herself, sent her to him. If that’s what Erik had to tell himself to accept what Phoenix was offering, he would. All Erik could do in this moment was smile. “I said I’m sorry.” He hadn’t smiled once in the weeks he’d been gone.

Phoenix clutched her pearls. “Erik Stevens without his gold caps? Never thought I’d see the day.”

“Shut up.” He grabbed her face, squeezing her cheeks and connecting his lips with hers. He needed to do this. He wanted to since she met him in the parking garage. The kiss turned hot, very quickly. The smacking of their lips seem to quiet out the sounds of the waves hitting the shore. Phoenix gripped his hoodie, pulling him closer. Their awkward position making it hard to do so. She lifted her body from between his legs and straddled his lap. She didn’t miss a beat. Their lips never parted. Erik’s hands gripped her ass, holding her in place above him. Just as Phoenix sucked on his bottom lip, he pulled back.

“Fuck, girl.” he shakes his head, trying to come back to reality. Erik has kissed many, and I mean MANY of women. But none of them felt like this. She made him want her in every way possible. He wasn’t used to this feeling. But, Phoenix has a history of making him feel things he’s not used to feeling. Like, well… feelings in general. Erik never wanted to just be with someone just to be with them. With other women, if it wasn’t about sex, he didn’t care. But, Phoenix… he wanted to sit next to her, talk to her, hold her hand, watch tv with her. The simple things.  

“What I do?” she grinned.

“I want you so fucking bad.” the lust in his voice sent heat to her lady parts. She wanted him too. “But… if I’m gonna do this, I have to do it right.”

“What do you mean?”

“I would love to bend yo’ ass over this table right now and just…” He thrusted his body up into hers. Her mouth dropped in shock. He laughed at her reaction. “But, I wanna do right by you. I wanna take you out. I wanna show you a good time first.”

“You wanna court me, Stevens?” she smiles, linking her hands around his neck.

“Yeah. All that shit.”

“Damnn, okay. A bitch ain’t never had that before.” she says in her hoodrat voice.

“Me neither.” He laughed at her and pulled her back in for a few more pecks on the lips.

They continued to sit in this position. Phoenix laid on his shoulder and he rested his face in her neck, still gripping on to her thighs. She rubbed the back of his neck. They sat quietly with the sounds of the night traveled around them.

“E,” she whispered. He moaned in response. “Why the beach? What made you wanna come here?”

“I like to come here to clear my mind.”

“Hm, well, I’m enjoying this. I really am. But, I’m cold.”

His body bounced under hers as he laughed. “Well, I’m good now so we can go.”

Phoenix stands. Erik moves to stand up but pauses and sits back down. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

He drops his head in laughter. “Oh my God, man.”

“What!”

He slowly stands up and his erection is VERY visible through his light grey joggers. Phoenix’s mouth drops and she laughs. She knew he was big from when he chilled with her at her place and she breifly sat on his lap, but seeing this nigga print in these pants, let her know she slightly underestimated him. “And I Oop…” They both leaned over in laughter. Phoenix’s funny reaction was simply a way to steer her brain from the many questions she wanted to ask herself. Like: Was she able to handle that? Ya’ know… when the time came? How big was this nigga? Has he murdered anybody by dick in his past? 

But she’ll tackle that one later. They were okay. Things were normal.

Erik readjusted himself and they walked back to his car. The ride back to their apartment was different than the ride to the beach. Phoenix connected her phone to his car’s bluetooth and played her music. The air was lighter on their drive. Erik’s hand found its place on her thigh and they both sung along to the songs that played.

-----------

Phoenix and Erik picked up right where they left off. He texted her every morning and they’d text through the entire day, ending the day with a facetime call. The nights she’d be up and in the studio, they’d text until he fell asleep, only to facetime him when she made it in and they’d both sleep with the other on screen until their phones died. It was like they were teenagers again. The butterflies, the cute text. They enjoyed each other.

——-

Phoenix was currently standing in her hallway, locking her door. Before making her way to the elevator she texted Erik.

Phoenix: What’s your elevator code?

She was feeling bits of nervousness. This would be her first time going up to Erik’s apartment. The couple of weeks that Erik had been back seem to have flown by and  her vacation with her girls was coming up quick, Erik told Phoenix he wanted to see her before she left. They haven’t seen much of each other since he’s been back with her schedule being hectic. Phoenix had a lot of work and meetings to get through before her trip. She wanted to enjoy her vacation without any work related distractions. Her and Coby had been working tirelessly so the only time she could really see Erik was on their nightly FaceTime calls. He’d always miss her on the elevators.

Erik: 8176.

She pressed the elevator call button.

Phoenix: Great. My goons will be up in a minute to rob your ass.

Erik: Play with me if you want to. I’ll drop you and them niggas.

Phoenix: you wouldn’t do that to me. You would miss me too much.

Erik: maybe I would. Maybe I wouldn’t.

DING! 

The elevator doors opened and Phoenix stepped on. She typed in his code to enter the Penthouse floors. 8..1..7..6. The twelfth floor light lit up and the doors began to close. She texted Erik back.

Phoenix: I’m not coming up then.

Erik: stop playing baby girl. You know I would miss you.

Erik: I miss you right now.

Phoenix sticks her tongue out, blushing. She locks her screen. The closer she got to his floor, the tighter the knot in her stomach. She could feel her hands getting hot. She tried taking some deep breaths. The cabin stopped and the doors opened. She stepped out and looked to her left and to her right. There was an apartment door in both directions. Erik didn’t mention which direction his door would be. She unlocked her phone, calling Erik.

“Hey baby girl. Where you at?”

“Um, I’m in the hallway. You never told me if your door is to the left or right of the elevators.”

“Oh shit. My bad. The right.”

Phoenix goes right and the door begins to open. Erik steps out with a smile sitting beautifully on his face. He made Nike shirts look like the most exquisite shirts on the market. His dreads were pulled up into a pineapple. The smell of seasoned chicken flowed out into the hallway meeting Phoenix as she greeted him with a hug. He steps aside, letting her in. First glance and Phoenix was stunned. The sleek and modern black and gold decor was designed perfectly. The high ceilings and floor to ceiling glass windows gave the most amazing view of the city. She walked in, looking around, noticing the African Art along the walls.

“Ohhhh, he got moneyyy!”

“Would you like a tour?”

She whipped her head around to him. “Yes, actually. I would.”

“C’mon.”

She follows him as he leads her more into his penthouse. They walk through his huge living room where he has the largest sectional couch that Phoenix has ever seen. It looked so comfy and she couldn’t wait to get lost in it. A 90” tv set on a stand in front of it.

“Full bar over there.” he points to underneath the stairs. “Dining area. Kitchen.” He takes her hand and leads her past the kitchen into a hallway. There are two doors to right. The first is a guest bathroom. The second door is a guest bedroom.

“Damn, Stevens! Your guest room is bigger than my living room. Go off with your rich ass.”

“You’re silly, baby girl. C’mon, we’re going upstairs.”

They make their way back into the main area to go upstairs. She follows him up and notices his pants hanging low on his waist. This nigga has cake.

“Damn, you kinda thick, E.” she pats him. He stops mid step and turns to give her the straightest face.

“Don’t do that shit again.”

She puts her hands up in surrender. “My bad big booty E.”

“Chill.” They continue their trip up the stairs and the space before them was big enough to be another living room. There were some workout equipment, neatly stacked against the wall.

“Oh this is where you be growing ya’ cheeks at.”

“Phoenix, you got one more time to mention my ass before I put you out.”

“Alright, alright. I’m done.” she smirks at him.

He takes her through some sliding doors that lead to his bedroom. The walls were white with a dark grey accent wall behind his bed. A TV was up on the wall between his large windows. The shades were down, blocking out the cities lights. His california king bed dressed in black and purple. A large black panther picture hung on the wall.

“I have an idea, E.” Phoenix says, rubbing her chin.

“What’s that?”

“I move into this room and you take the one downstairs.”

“You sound crazy. You could just join me in this one.” he winks at her.

“Nope. I need all of this to myself.”

“Nah. I come with it. All or nothing. If you don’t like it, you can stay in your shoebox downstairs.”

Phoenix’s mouth drops and she clutches her chest. “First of all, I love my shoebox.”

He wraps his arm around her shoulders. “C’mon, we’re almost done with the tour.”

She walks with him to the other side of his room and through another set of sliding doors. They step into his master bathroom. His shower had three shower heads and a bench. The tub sat in front of a large window and another tv was on the wall in front of it. “I’m sold. I might have to take you up on your offer now.”

“Oh now you want me?”

“Technically,” she put a finger up. “I never said that I didn’t.”

“You’re something else.” He walks out and she follows him. Right outside the bathroom’s doors was a small hallway that lead into his closet. He turned on the lights, revealing his amazing collection of clothes, sneakers, jackets, and a jewelry case full of chains and watches and few pair of earrings. Straight ahead was a large mirror. Phoenix walked right passed his clothes. Fuck his clothes honestly. The white light in the closet made for good lighting and the mirror called her to take the perfect picture.

“OH! It’s picture time.” She pulled out her phone, snapping a full cute pics, catching her body at all of the right angles. As she tried to get a new position, she noticed Erik leaning against the wall behind her. She hadn’t realized that he was visible in her pictures before. She stopped and looked at him.

“What?” he was lost as to why she was giving him the stink look.

“Get out my picture.” she barked at him.

He rolled his eyes, stepping out of her camera’s view. She snapped a few more pictures.

“Are you done?” he called out. She walks back to him.

“Yes. All done. Thanks.”

He turns off the lights and they both leave out of his room. As they walked toward the stairs, he points to a door on the other side, “That’s my office. I’m redoing it right now so it’s a mess in there.”

They go downstairs and into the kitchen where the food Erik had cooked sat on the stove. He made stuffed chicken, cheesy, garlic potatoes and grilled asparagus. Phoenix sat in the wooden barstool at the kitchen island as he prepared their plates.

“Red or White?” he asked without turning around.

“Hmm, white.”

Erik placed two plates of food on the counter in front of her. He grabbed two wine glasses from a cabinet, placing one in front of her. “You’re a sweet kind of woman aren’t you?”

“Yes. How did you know?”

“Lucky guess.” He walks away out of her sight. When he comes back, he has a bottle of Moscato. He effortlessly pops the cork and pours into their glasses. He takes his seat next to her, pulling her seat closer to him. He grabbed her chin, bringing their faces just a breath from each other. He licks his lips and places a peck on hers, making a small closed mouth smirk appear on hers. “Eat up, baby girl.”

Phoenix pulled away from him. “You don’t tell me what to do, Stevens.” She picks up her fork and starts eating. He watches her with prey like eyes.

“We’ll see about that.” he finally says with a low tone before digging into his food.

As they enjoyed their meal, they talked about random things. How they’re sick of the construction outside of their building. Phoenix has a hair appointment the next day. Nothing major. Well about halfway through dinner, the conversation shifted.

“So,” Erik sat his fork down. “Your birthday is coming up. You and your crew planning something?”

Phoenix sipped her wine. “My crew? No. This vacation is enough for me. I don’t wanna do anything really.”

“I thought the trip was Camrens’s birthday gift?”

“It is. But, I don’t know, it’s right before mine so I’m okay with just that.”

“Why?” He was watching the side of her face.

“Not really a birthday person.”

“I’ve never met a woman that wasn’t a birthday person.”

She finally looks at him. “I mean, as a kid, I was. But the older I got, it just seemed so… extra. I would only do something because my brother wanted to.”

“Brother?!” Erik’s eyebrows raised high. “You have a brother?”

Phoenix rolls her eyes. “Yeah. A twin, actually. Zion.”

“You’ve never mentioned having a brother.”

“Because…” she takes a sip. “We don’t talk. He don’t fuck with me and I don’t fuck with him.” Her demeanor changed. Phoenix is tense now. She clenches and unclenches her jaw and the slight eye rolls as she talks let Erik know that her brother is a trigger. 

Erik turns his body to face her to give her his full attention. “Why not?” She cups her glass with both hands, slowly taking sips. There’s a beat of silence. 

“I’m here.” She began. Her voice small. “I’m living a decent life, doing what I love to do and he’s not.” she shrugs. “He hates me for that.”

“Hate is a strong word.”

“He hates me, E. He said it. He’s convinced himself that I just have hella money and because I won’t move him out here and pay his way through school or fund any of his ideas, I’m not a good sister. He’s the only boy in the family, so everybody has always babied his big ass. I’m not doing that. I’ve worked hard. I’ve earned everything that I have. He can do the same.”

“I understand that. Ain’t shit free.”

She looks at him in disbelief. Everyone (her family and old friends from back home) felt like she was being too harsh on her brother for wanting him to put in some kind of work. They had always just given him what he wanted, no matter the cost. Phoenix had worked for everything. She had a job at 16 while her brother did whatever he wanted. He was given his first car from an uncle while Phoenix saved up her money to get herself one. That same car she saved up for is the same car that she drove to California. Everyone excused her brother actions because he was just a free spirit. Phoenix was too but she still had some discipline.

“Why you look at me like that?” Erik asked.

“Because… you’re the first person to actually agree with me.”

“Hell yeah, I agree with you! That nigga better get a damn job.” That made her laugh. “Phoenix and Zion though. Interesting names for twins.”

“Our names were gonna be Zues and Megara since Hercules was my mama’s favorite movie.” Erik burst into laughter. “Thank God my grandma threw a bible at her ass and put a stop to that.” Phoenix joined in on the laughing.

Erik wiped a tear from his eyes, his laughter calming down. “Oh man,” he tapped on the counter, looking as though he had something else to say.  “Speaking of names though. Um, can I tell you a secret?”

“Let me guess, Erik isn’t your real name or something?” she says, jokingly. Erik just looks at her, eyebrows raised. His silence answering his question. She slams her hand on the counter. “ERIK ISN’T YOUR REAL NAME?” she starts to raise up from the barstool. 

Erik stops her, grabbing her arm. “Hold up. Hold up.” she snatches her arm from his hold. “Hear me out.” she motions for him to continue. “Technically, Erik is my name, but I also have my Wakandian name.”

“You better not be fucking with me.”

“I’m dead serious. I’m Erik Stevens but technically, my real name is N’Jadaka.”

Phoenix takes a deep breath, staring at him like he has three heads. A whole minute passed with her just looking at him.  “I need more wine.” she finally says.

“Nah,” Erik stands, taking Phoenix’s hand, “ I know what you need.

Some dick! Her brain screamed at her. “What’s that?”

She followed him to the couch. He turned on the tv and picked up a blunt from the coffee table. They lean into each other, shoulder to shoulder as Erik lights the blunt, taking two drags of it and passing it to Phoenix. She takes a hit, holding in the smoke longer than she needed and slowly blowing it out. They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. They settled into the couch as Naruto played on the tv. Phoenix had come clean during one of their late night facetime calls that she started watching the show while he was gone and that she really liked it. They agreed to watch it together and here they were. As their highs hit them more, Erik dimmed the lights in the living room and got comfortable laying on Phoenix’s lap. They remained in this position until Phoenix’s legs were numb. She repositioned herself under him to lay fully on her back and he placed his body over hers, resting his head on stomach. He was heavy but she liked it. She wanted him to stay there forever.

Phoenix had been absentmindedly playing in Erik’s locs for an entire episode. When she realized what she was doing, she stopped. His hand came out of nowhere and placed her hand back in his hair. She giggled and continued rubbing his scalp again. She looked down at him and noticed that his eyes were closed. This man was falling asleep.

“Erik…” she called him softly.

“Hm.” he moaned.

“Are you sleep?”

“I’m resting my eyes.” his voice was low and raspy. He was definitely asleep. Phoenix waited a couple minutes before calling his name again, but this time she didn’t receive a response. She pulled out her phone, opening her front camera and took a picture of them. Erik’s face buried in her stomach and her fingers, tangled in his locs. She then opened her Instagram, swiping to make a story. A boomerang of course. She made one with the caption ‘Niggas be like, I’m just resting my eyes.’ She posted it and sat her phone down on the floor. She was pretty tired herself but the truth is, she didn’t want to leave. She wanted to stay right here, under him. So she did.

--------

Erik naturally woke up a little after  7am. He wanted to lay with Phoenix longer but his body was so used to waking up early, he knew he had to just get up. As soon as he moved from off of her, she curled up into the fetal position. He grabbed a blanket, placing it over Phoenix’s now balled up body. He stood over her, admiring how peaceful she looked while sleep. He then headed upstairs into his bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face. He changed into some compression pants and basketball shorts. He remained shirtless and went out to his workout area and began his at home workout.

An hour later, he was sweaty and tired. He checked over the railing to see Phoenix still asleep. She was still balled up in the same spot. He laughed to himself remembering that she never wakes up before noon. He goes back into his bathroom to shower and change into some fresh clothes. He left his locs to lay wildly over his face and came back downstairs to clean up last night’s dishes. The clanking of the dishes and ruffles of the dishwasher still didn’t get Phoenix to wake up. She was a hard sleeper. The opposite of Erik. Maybe it was his Navy training, but Erik could hear wind shift directions in his sleep. It was still early, just after 10. He’s let her sleep in some more.

He sat near her on the couch to watch some tv and lazily scrolled through his phone. He opened the Instagram app and the first thing he noticed was Phoenix’s profile picture at the top of his screen, glowing pink. He tapped it and the boomerang of them played over and over. He looked at her from the corner of his eye. He did everything he could to conceal the grin that threatened to appear on his face as if someone was watching. He watched it more times than he would care to admit. Phoenix began to stir in her sleep. One of her feet poked out from under the blanket. Her sock was missing and her neon pink toes struggled to find shelter under his thigh. He picked up her foot, setting it on his lap and started massaging her foot. He did this while watching tv until his fingers were tired.

It was approaching noon and Phoenix still hadn’t budged. She had a hair appointment in a few hours and Erik knew it was time to wake her. He softly shook her leg, calling her name.

“Philly. C’mon, baby girl. Get up.”

“Hm?” she moaning from under the blanket.

“Get up.”

He had to shake her a little harder for her to actually wake up. She sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She looked disheveled-- her hair were all over her head, she looked confused about where she was and she was missing a sock.

“Morning, baby girl.” He sat back, rubbing her unsocked foot again.

“Morning.” she yawned. She stared blankly ahead, trying to process that she’s awake now. The fresh scent of his body lotion traveled under her nose and she looked at him, taking in the fact that he was fully dressed and looked damn good.

“You smell good.” her tired voice rung out.

“Thank you.”

“How long have you been up?”

“Like seven thirty.”

She shook her head, “Early as fuck,” She rubbed the sleep from her eyes. “What time is it now?”

“Almost noon. Figured I’d wake you up so you’re not late for your hair appointment.”

Phoenix shifted her body and laid her head on his lap. “I don’t want to go to that.”

“Nah, Phoenix. Get yo’ ass up. You’re not about to blame me for your hair not being done later.”

Phoenix moaned in protest. He slipped his hand in her curls, rubbing her head. “How am I supposed to get up and you’re doing shit like this?”

He stopped and lifted her up from him. He held her chin, “Because… you need to go wash your hair, wash your face, brush them teeth and put some lotion on this ashy ass foot you had on me.”

She swatted his hand from her face. “You can suck my ass, Erik. My foot ain’t ashy.”

“I’ll do more than suck your ass, baby girl.” he licked his lips. Phoenix watched closely as his tongue grazed his lips. She had zoned out, flashing back to all of the dreams that she’s been having of him doing just what he said. Her breathing hitched and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The snapping of his fingers in front of her face, snatched her from her mind.

“Hm?”

He raised a brow at her. “You were thinking about me sucking your ass, huh?”

“What-- No!”

“Mhm.” he chuckled.

“I see you want to start with me early today.” she says as she stands and searches under the blanket for her sock.

“Early? Girl, half the damn day is gone.”

“Whatever. It’s early to me.” She finds her sock and sits down to put it on. She feels on the floor for her phone, checking it and seeing that the group chat with her friends is currently up in flames with 23 unread messages. She swipes to open the thread and finds that she’s butt of their jokes.

Mica: I know Phoenix up. She’s avoiding us right now.

Camren: lmao. That’s because Erik giving her that morning wood.

Mica: Right! “Niggas be like” head ass.

Ava: She think she slick too. Y’all notice how she made sure you couldn’t see his face?

Camren: yessss! No face. No Case.

Mica: lmfao.

“Oh my goodness.” Phoenix drags a hand over her face.

“What’s wrong?”

“My crew as you call them, they’re lighting my ass up right now about something I posted on Instagram.”

“Oh, that boomerang?” Her head snapped in his direction. “Yeah, I seen that.” he bit his lip to stop himself from smiling.

“How did you see that?”

“I follow you.”

“What? When-- when did you follow me?”

Erik shifted his focus to his phone, looking unbothered at the fact that he just snitched on himself. “I been following you.”

“Since when?”

“Don’t worry about all that. Stop being fake bougie and follow me back though.”

Phoenix was stunned that she didn’t know this information. She felt exposed. “This is weird. What’s your name?”

He snatched her phone from her hands and searched his name @Kingkill_ . His page was private so he requested a follow from her page. He exited out of the app and opened her messages, going to her group chat. Phoenix watched, confused as to what he was going to do. He tapped the camera icon and the camera popped up on screen.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

Erik pushed Phoenix down onto her back, and straddled himself over her. She tried to grab the phone but he held her wrist in place and tapped the red button to record. He started dramatically humping her and laughing.

“Get off me nigga.” she shouted.

“Hold on, baby. I’m almost done.”

One of Phoenix’s hands broke free from his grip and she swung on him, reaching for her phone. He jumped up and ran. She pushed herself up from the couch going after him. He ran into his guest bedroom and locked the door. Phoenix banged on the door, shouting for him to open the door.

“I will break this bitch down. Open the door Erik.”

“Try it if you want to.”

Erik leaned his large figure against the shaking door. He proceeded to send the compromising video to her friends in the group chat. After hitting send, he unlocks the door and Phoenix stands there looking pissed with her arms folded over her chest. He hands her the phone and she snatches it and storms off.

“You really mad?” He goes after her.

She tries her best to not break her fake mad face. But she couldn’t hold it. “You play too much. They’re about to drag my ass.”

“C’mere.” He grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her, placing kisses all over her face. “You like it on the low.” She pushed herself off of him.

“I have to go get my hair done. I’ll see your childish ass later.”

As she turned to go put on her shoes, Erik smacks her on her butt and follows her to the door. All ready to go, she goes in for a hug and quickly gripped his face in her small hand and blew her breath in his face. The smile on his face dropped and snatched his face away. “You nasty as hell! Get out of my house.”

Phoenix broke down in laughter. “That’s what you get for playing.” She opens the door, stepping out into the hallway. Erik is being extra, pinching his nose and waving her out. She winks at him, “See you later, N’Jadaka.”

--------------

Tags: @purple-apricots @abeautifulmindexposed @lostennyc @missshae @tip222u @janelledarling @lushloaded @chaneajoyyy @thadelightfulone @raysunshine78 @toniilaney @purpleskiesxhopefuldreams @elaindeereads

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[lonelypond]

Nico Attacks: A Campfire Tale, Chapter 3

NicoMaki, NozoEli, Love Live, 1.6K, 3/4

Eli and Umi make their separate ways back to camp while Maki's night of adventure continues.

And Then There Was One

Eli was concentrating on holding Vik’s hand tightly, but not too tightly as they made their way back to camp, focusing on the flashlight beam, forcing herself not to see out of the tunnel vision, not to hear the noises, focusing on how cute Vik looked, wolf ears bobbing as they happily chattered about how much fun camping was.

And then there was a brighter light ahead and a silhouette Eli would know anywhere. “Nozomi!”

“Mommy!” Vik ran toward Nozomi, who hefted them up easily with one arm. Nozomi might look soft, but Eli had always been impressed by her strength, both physical and emotional.

“Hi!” Nozomi’s voice was the warmth and bright Eli needed right now and she hurried to get in on the hug. “Missed you.”

A family moment and then Nozomi put Vik back down, “Why don’t you go find Teddy and tell her what you and Aunt Nico did.”

“Okay.”

Vik disappeared through the trees and then Nozomi snapped off the flashlight, causing Eli to freeze like ice had suddenly coalesced around her.

“Nozomi.” Eli couldn’t keep the whine out of her voice, “Turn that back on.”

“But Eli, you’re so cute when you’re clingy.”

“Nozomi!” Eli kept her hands behind her back, she’d learned long ago it was risky to reach for her wife when Nozomi was in this impish, playful mood, “Did you know Nico was going to this?”

Nozomi’s response was a giggle as she stepped closer to Eli, her hand reaching for Eli’s waist.

“But Maki’s having fun isn’t she?”

“I’m not.” Eli grumbled.

“You could be.”

“Nozomi.” Eli could feel the thrill, at war with the embarrassment and the fear. In the dark, she couldn’t see the dare in Nozomi’s eye, but it was a familiar mood. And they’d been busy, and not really had enough time for each other, Nozomi’s hands had just found that spot, and Eli could only feel Nozomi and not the tree at her back.

“You’re lovely,” Nozomi whispered and Eli reached forward to grab the steadiest support in her world.

###

“Caught.” Umi stated matter-of-factly as she lifted the net near Maki’s shoulder.

“Can you get this off me?”

Umi considered. The wind howled again, sounding even more artificial than 30 seconds ago. Then there was a weighted, expectant silence, long enough for Umi to pull out her clasp knife again and suddenly speakers blasted from everywhere, Maki and Umi and Eli’s Soldier Game singles vocal tracks amplified loud enough to make the leaves still clinging fall. But it wasn’t right. Maki frowned, her hands pulling at the netting, wanting to rip a hole so she could find the speakers and demolish them.

“That doesn’t sound...right.”

“It’s not...Nico-chan remixed it,” Maki’s voice was thin with anger, “She took the damn songs and transposed them into a major key. And picked up the tempo.”

“Why?”

Maki hissed, “She’s making it ‘cuter.’”

Umi froze, and then laughter roared out. “Hits you where it hurts.”

“My ears?” Maki raised her hands, the netting making the gesture slow.

“Your ego.”

“I don’t have an ego. This isn’t subjective in any way. There’s the songs the way I composed them and now, there’s the songs Nico’s bastardized.”

Umi held up her knife, sliding it under a string. And then, as Maki made encouraging sounds, Umi pulled the knife out, stepped back, and flipped it shut with a grand gesture.

“This really seems like a private marital squabble.”

“UMI!”

Umi nodded her head, “Yes, I think it’s time for the Diamond Princess to be rescued by her Ruby Rogue.”

“C’mon, Umi, don’t do this.”

“Thank Nico for the stimulating evening.”

“UMI!”

And with a bow, Umi wandered off, toward the main cabin, whistling “Cutie Panther.”

###

Laughter really was the cure for fright, Umi thought as she chuckled at the memory of Nico’s antics over the years, from the haunted doll set up in the club room to this. Always impressive attention to details. Nico had just started directing music videos. She was going to be really good at it, Umi realized. Now low drifts of mist rose around Umi from the creek to her left. Umi knelt her keychain flashlight shining on melting chunks of dry ice. Nico was close. Umi turned the light off and waited, listening.

A low groan started, rising in volume. Not Nico. She would have done a better job of disguising her voice and stretching out scary thrills. This was light, fast, silly...definitely Rin. Umi crept forward cautiously, waiting to trigger the opening act for whatever Nico had roped Rin into.  With a loud crack, a branch swung, clearing two feet over where Maki’s head would have been (she’d gained 2 cm on Eli). Timed to the crack, a short ghost jumped at Umi.

“BOO!”

Umi laughed and put a hand on Rin’s shoulder, “Hi, Rin.”

“HEY! You’re supposed to be scared. You’re also supposed to be Maki.” Rin crossed her arms over, catching some of the folds of the sheet scattered with flourescents as she did. Nico must have a black light set up.

“Left Maki in the net.”

Rin thought about that for a few seconds, and then went to push past Umi, “I have to see that.”

Umi shook her head, “She’s probably out by now and looking for Nico.”

“Shoulda gotten a picture.”

“Who says I didn’t?”

“Let me see.”

“First, we get back to camp.” Umi glanced at her watch, also fluorescent under the black light, “It’s time for Kaito to go to bed. Kotori will indulge him.”

“We’re camping, Umi.”

“Routines are important.”

“Boo. Bedtimes are boring.”

“You have a child not a curfew, Rin.”

“You’ve never closed down anything in your life.”

“Just this conversation. Let’s go.” Umi had decoded Nico’s trail sign and set off for camp.

###

Maki wanted earplugs. This was the worst thing yet, this loop of Soldier Game and Bibi songs, twisted just enough to be annoying. Not even earplugs, she wanted to be a turtle, and pull her head in her shell, and just sit here and wait it out until Nico was bored or exhausted or out of ideas. But Nico was never out of ideas. That was part of the fascination, how Nico could hop with quicksilver speed from wild thought to weirder inspiration and still stay so solidly grounded as wife, mother, and professional. It was dizzying sometimes, but Nico always made sure they landed safely somewhere, usually bed.

Maki grimaced. It was too early for that thought, she was annoyed at Nico, not hot for Nico. Okay, always hot for Nico but there was definitely going to be a phase where she refused to admit it. Maki pulled at the netting, it still refused to just tear. She dropped to her knee, the edges were slightly weighted, but with careful movements, Maki managed to work it over her head. Shaking it off as she stood, she reoriented herself. Umi had left the camping lantern. There was nothing but trees and woody shadows to be seen as far as its light shone. Unless Nico had decided to impersonate a dryad, she wasn’t lingering to see Maki struggle with the net. Leave the music and run, that had been her strategy. Maybe Umi had stumbled over her.

The adrenaline buzz of a challenge was wearing off. If Maki had those speakers within reach, she’d rip them out of the trees. Umi had gone to the left, but Maki knew by the creek that that trail headed back to camp, which left Maki guessing that to the right would bring her to the cabin. But would it bring her to Nico? Or just more nonsense? Maki sighed, running her fingers through her hair. Still sticky. Once she got to the cabin, Maki was going to lock all the doors and windows, blast music Nico couldn’t stand, and soak for hours. Everyone else could go back to Tokyo.

###

“There’s a whole song called "Autumn In New York", Nico. I added it to my set. People LOVE it.”

Honoka’s voice carried through the trees as Rin and Umi approached the camp. But why did she sound like she was on a call with Nico? Neither of them should be fireside right now.

Umi stepped into the light of the campfire, ahead of Rin. Nico was sitting, smug, comfortable, on a camp stool, mug in hand, phone propped on a low table. Rin immediately dodged around Umi and ran for the tent she was sharing with Hanayo, Tora, Dia, and Ruby, giving Nico a thumbs up.

Nico was paying no attention to anyone physically present. “Post a video. Nico wants to see. Maybe from Central Park. It’s pretty there this time of year.”

“Nico.” Umi said sternly. Nico looked up, surprised.

“UMI!” Honoka’s excited tone brought Kotori out of the tent she had claimed for their family.

“Why are you here, Nico? You are supposed to be in the woods…” Umi searched for a word…”shenaniganing. I left Maki in a net. You were going to rescue her.”

“That’s not on my schedule.” Nico sipped.

“What exactly is on your schedule?” Umi glanced down at the phone, where Honoka, her hair now long, was gleefully watching the exchange. Kotori wrapped Umi in a hug, but Umi refused to allow herself to be soothed.

Nico raised her mug, “Maki rescues herself, tears everything out of the trees, and stomps off her anger while Nico has a warming drink.”

Honoka sounded like she was bouncing. “Next year, I want to help you make a haunted house, Nico. How about at the beach? Skeleton mermaids crawling up to the house.”

Umi rubbed her forehead, “Can we get Maki back safe this year, first.”

“Nico has everything handled."

“What’s next?"

“Ooohh, what are you gonna do next?” Honoka sounded like the Ayase twins about to unleash a prank.

Nico grinned, leaning forward, “The best kind of trick.”

“And that is?” Umi let herself relax back into Kotori, exasperation winning.

“A treat.” Nico winked.

A/N: Have been working on three concurrent Poe projects so only a little time for fanfic. What's your Halloween like this strange year? I'm watching ParaNorman with an open text chat.

[ren-c-leyn]

The Last Job

Another fusion story, this one is a little different, though, as it’s a sci-fi instead of my usual fantasy ones. It’s made up of this prompt by @oopsprompts, this prompt by @coffin-prompts, this prompt by @thependragonwritersguild, these 1,2 prompts by @thewholekitandkabobble, this prompt by @scandy-inspo, these 1,2,3,4,5,6 prompts by @humdrummoloch, and these 1,2,3,4,5,6 by @givethispromptatry.

 This one is a tale of crime and betrayal. There’s some fight scenes and swearing, but nothing gory. 

 I wish we got warnings for the important things. We only seem to have them for what’s absolutely meaningless. And of all of the warning labels I should have gotten in my life, Jean’s should have been the brightest, most eye-burning, shades of red and yellow.

 Sure, I knew things didn’t always turn out how you wanted them to. Sometimes life didn’t work out like you planned. Sometimes life really didn’t work out like you planned. Sometimes life looks at your plan, scoffs, and makes an illegal u-turn into on coming traffic. But when she was around, it was ten times more likely that that u-turn would lead to a head-first collision with an explosion of chemicals and gunfire.

 But here I was, standing in the shadows of a ship with her, going over an insane plan we’d never follow for the last time.

 “I really don’t like this.”

 “Come on. This is tame compared to some of the things I’ve asked you to do in the past,” she replied, rotating the holographic projection of the blueprints.

 “Which is why I know it will go horribly wrong.”

 “You worry too much,” she said as she clicked the projection off. “It’ll be fine.”

 “Is this legal?”

 “A little late to be asking that, isn’t it?”

 I frowned.

 “So it’s not.”

 She snorted, a prideful smirk pulling onto her lips.

 “Half the things we do aren’t, but that’s never stopped us before. Now come on, we’ve got money to make.”

 With that, she tuned the com channel to her favorite music playlist, the thrum of Plutoian club music ringing in my ears, and then she clicked on her hover boots to begin entry plan. I grumbled but sighed, following after.

 We followed the schematics she had gotten a hold of, easily slipping past the initial defenses before stopping at a terminal.

 “Okay, now shut it down.”

 I took a seat and swiped the card, getting a deeper and deeper sinking feeling with each line of code I bypassed. This seemed... heavier than what we normal dealt with. Advanced well beyond what I would expect.

 “Jean, what’s the target?”

 She grinned at me.

 “Enough to set us up for life.”

 That didn’t make me feel any better, but I finished turning off the cameras and sensors. But I didn’t see that one string of code until it was too late.

 “Shit.”

 “What?”

 “I accidentally activated the drones.”

 “Then turn them off!”

 “I can’t, it’s locked me out of the system.”

 “Fuck, new plan then, let’s get our asses moving.”

 We sprinted down the halls, only for her to come to a skidding halt, swearing under her breath.

 “What now?”

 “Warrick.”

 “Whose Warrick?”

 “Oh... just someone I screwed over and probably wants me dead.”

 I gave her a blank stare.

“Is there anyone who doesn’t want you dead?”

 She started moving her fingers, like she was counting on them, before giving up and shrugging.

 “Probably not. But we have bigger fish to fry, so prepare yourself for plan X.”

 “Not again....”

 “Quit bitching and get ready.”

 With that, she drew her laser pistol and stepped out of the shadows. A well placed shot took out the drone, but there seemed to be more guards than just Warrick. The biggest of the group pulled some sort of bladed weapons from his belt.

 “Surrender now, before my-!”

 “Ok!” She sat with crossed legs and placed her hands on the top of her head.

 “I- really?”

 “Dude, you look like if you shrugged the world would shift in orbit. I know when to not tempt death.”

 The thin man, whom I assumed was Warrick, frowned at that reply, but held his tongue.

 “Right then... Warrick, deal with her.”

 Warrick stepped up and put her into some sort of restraining hold. I waited for the signal, the high-pitched hum of the music grating on my already fraying nerves.

 “If you don’t think I’m going to bite you to get out of this hold you are going to have to think twice,” she teased, flashing her modified canines at him.

 He scoffed.

 “As if you could reach.”

 She grinned, and then jerked into motion. Her skull came up against his chin as she pitched her weight to knock them both off balance. Warrick recovered partly, but left himself open to those stupidly long fangs. She flipped the music to a deep, foreboding beat. My signal.

 I set my pistol to stun and dropped the big guy first. The smallest member of the party caught on and tried to run from the madness, but I shot them in the back. Then, with measured steps, I went to Jean and Warrick, dragging her off of the poor guy before stunning him too.

 “Awwww... but I was having fun.’

 I rounded on her.

 “The rules! You swore you’d....”

 “Never kill, never smuggle weapons or drugs, and never target good people. Yes, yes, I remember.”

 I pointed down at the bloodied man at my feet.

 “That doesn’t fucking look like you remember.”

 “He won’t die.”

 I frowned at her before snarling.

 “I hate you.”

 “I know.”

 “If we get out of the alive I’m quitting.”

 “That’s fair, but first we have to get out alive, and I do believe there’s more of their pet robots running around.”

 I sighed as she pushed passed me before following. A drone popped up in front of us, and she hauled off and punched it out of reflex. I tried not to laugh as she swore and shot it a couple of times.

 “What’s so damn funny back there?”

 “It’s just.... What kind of idiot punches a robot in the face?”

 “The same kind of idiot that works with people like you, now move.”

 We finally made it to a round room with a large computer terminal.

 “I’ll get...”

 She held up her hand.

 “No, I’ve got this. It’s done in Jupiter code.”

 “Oh, yeah, in that case I’ll keep an eye out for drones.”

 She smiled and sat down, running her fingers over the keys. Then, the door we entered through fell and locked. I blinked as I heard her swear.

 “Shiiiiiiiit.”

 “I’m gonna assume that’s not supposed to happen?”

 “Would I be saying ‘shit’ if it was!?”

 “Guess not.”

 She sighed.

 “Okay, can you go see if you can get it open with the keypad while I try to fix this?”

 “Sure.” I turned to go back to the door, but couldn’t help but feel a little uneasy about this situation.

 We didn’t have the time to fight with doors when there were security drones and guards who could come for us at any second. Yet, Jean’s typing was unhurried, casual, calm. 

“Can I be real with you for a second?”

 “Sure,” I said, though I was a bit distracted with trying to power up the keypad.

 “I’m starting to doubt if this is worth it.”

 It took me a moment to process those words.

 “After all of this time, Jean?” I asked as I popped a small panel out of the wall so I could get at the wiring. “What’s changed your mind?”

 “I just realized... that I have different goals now, you know? This has been fun and all, but I’m craving... a different kind of thrill. Something more.”

 I hummed as I attempted to rewrite the door to bypass whatever she did.

 “And I’ve realized something.”

 I paused, noticing that her voice sounded a closer, and that the typing had stopped.

“You’ve done nothing but hold us back. You and your silly little ideals. Keeping us from the big money, keeping us too far below the radar for the good jobs, keeping us just far enough on the light side to make contacts wary of us. It’s so stupid, and, well, in conclusion: you are an idiot. I know you meant well, but a well-intentioned idiot is still an idiot. And you know I don’t work with idiots.”

 I looked over at her, my blood went cold as my hands shook slightly. Her pistol was pointed at me, glowing with red light. And on her face was that expression I had grown to know and hate. It was a look of mockery.

 “I’ll give you three seconds to run.”

 I froze for second one as my mind tried to catch up to what was happening, but on second two my instincts took over. The screaming laughter of Plutoian club music beat in my ears as the blood and adrenaline rushed through my veins. The pistol was in my hands and pointed back at her. On second three, we both fired.

 I was on the ground, bleeding out as the howling lyrics ran through my ears. I heard her laughter only distantly as she stepped in time with the music. She stood over me with a smirk, pointing the gun down at my face.

 “Any last words, dear partner?”

 I somehow found the nerve to smirk back at her.

 “What about the rules? You promised....”

 “Rules and promises are only good for making people dead, like you.”

 She began to squeeze the trigger.

 “So it’s my fault for believing you....” I sighed as I let my head drop onto the floor in defeat. “I always knew I’d die to this song. Kill me at the chorus, yeah?”

 “Fine,” she replied with a smile.

 We both listened to the garbled remix of a song about regrets for a moment, counting down the beats to my demise. Just before the fated moment came, the door exploded open, and everything went black.

 When I woke up, I was wrapped up in some light fabric. There was the whooshing noise of waves, and a shrill cry of some sort of birds. Slowly, very slowly, I forced myself to sit up before looking around.

 It was so beautiful, the light of dawn cresting the waves. The air smelled wonderful and felt even better. Had it not been for the pain and bloodstains, I would have thought I had died and somehow reached heaven.

 I didn’t know how I came to be in that beautiful place, and I honestly didn’t care. I  just stared out at the waves rising as they moved closer to the shore. The thrum of betrayal still ached through my veins. The empty space beside me seemed to howl and scream, refusing to let me think of anything else.

[2013sharry]

DJ Got Us Falling In Love

Hello, hello! I am finally back with more writing! Honestly, the only reason I took so long was because this literally took me almost two months to write because I am the worst and my computer broke and I don’t really even know. This isn’t completely how I wanted it to be but I’ve been writing it for two months and I couldn’t keep tweaking it anymore. Let me know what you think! 

EDIT: I totally forgot to mention that I kind of set this up as a Part 2 for Secret Love Song. It can be read as a standalone one shot if you want but if you want some backstory for it or were looking for a part 2 for SLS you can read it like that as well!

“So baby tonight, the DJ’s got us falling in love again.”

You’re torturing yourself. Scrolling through all your social media only hurts you but it’s like your fingers work of their own accord.

It’s everything Harry trained you not to do. “Don’ pay attention t'it, love,” he’d murmur in your ear as he’d reach around you to close incriminating tabs open on your laptop. “Doesn’t mean anythin’.” But it did mean something, it always did.

More than ever, you should be heeding his advice. Every article, every new picture, every interview twists the knife in you that much more. It’s enough that he isn’t a part of your life anymore. But now you’re forced to watch his life unfold in front of your very eyes, whether you like it or not.

And like it, you do not. It isn’t as simple as unfollowing him like with any old ex. No because his face would still be splashed all over the internet, even if it isn’t his social media pages you’re checking.

Although, you are checking. And you don’t like what you see.

Countless blogs and gossip sites have his picture all over their page, speculating about the new girl he’d been parading around. Even as you read the various accounts, you can hear his voice in the back of your mind, “S'not real. These people are jus’ bored. Need something to do,” but you push it away. He’d broken up with you, hadn’t he? You don’t have to listen to what he says, even if it is only in your mind.

“Stop it,” a voice chimes out that mirrors the one in your head. You peel your eyes from your phone screen in time to watch your best friend snatch it from your hand.

“Hey!” You reach to grab it back but she only pulls it farther.

“This is not healthy,” she continues, rolling up the window of the cab. She smooths out the unruly mess the wind had made of her hair, dropping the phone in her bag. “I’m taking this hostage.”

“Give it back,” you insist. You had been only moments away from discovering the identity of your ex’s mystery girl. A sigh escapes you when you remember that you were once considered his mystery girl.

“No,” she fights back. “Come on. We’re having a girls’ night.”

It had been months since you and Harry broke up but you still didn’t feel ready to get back out there. Your friends had understood, giving you the space to figure things out for yourself, but tonight you aren’t being granted that space. It isn’t so much a girls’ night as it’s your best friend dragging you out of the house. And though she’d nearly had to pull you out of your bed kicking and screaming, once you walk through the door of the bar, you feel good. Maybe you aren’t ready to put yourself out there yet, but you could still dress up and have a good time with your best friend.

“Drinks?” she asks and you nod in agreement. “You go find a table, I’ll grab us something.” With that, she’s off to flirt her way to free drinks.

Your eyes scan the room, hoping for an empty table. Nothing was worse than wearing shoes you couldn’t possibly stand in all night in a place with nowhere to sit. Much to your dismay, that seems to be exactly the case tonight. Undeterred you make your way over to a table of drunk girls. If nothing else, your specialty was hovering around tables in the hopes of snatching them up as soon as they became available. However, these girls are just as determined to stay as you are, so you glance around the room for another table almost ready to leave. And that’s when you spot him.

You hope you’re imagining things but the curly head and flashy shirt are a dead giveaway. It’s definitely him, and with the flock of people hovering around him, you’re surprised you hadn’t noticed earlier.

And it’s like he can sense your eyes on him because within seconds, he’s turning to face you, eyes wide with surprise when they register you. You avert yours, hoping it’ll give the impression that he shouldn’t come over. But either he doesn’t notice, or he ignores it, because out of the corner of your eye, you see him excuse himself and make his way over.

Your heart is pounding at such a rapid pace you feel like everyone else in the room can hear it. The space between the two of you is growing smaller and smaller which each one of his heeled boot steps but you still can’t manage to look over at him. Maybe if you keep your eyes squeezed shut you can will this to just be your imagination.

“What’s a pretty girl like you doin’ standing here all by yourself?” And suddenly, your eyes fly open. There Harry is, standing in front of you, his signature smirk pointing directly at you. The sound of his voice hits you like a train and you’re certain your knees are going to give out. You’d heard his voice in interview clips and the crooning sound of it on his album but to hear it directed at you makes your breath hitch in your throat.

“Hi,” you reply back lamely. Neither of you say anything after that and even in the crowded bar, you feel like the silence is swallowing you whole.

“Yeh know,” he says after realizing you aren’t continuing, “you don’ have to stand over here alone. Could sit with us.” He gestures back across the room to his already packed table. You catch glimpses of members of his team that had never approved of you and people that look so glamorous that you feel out of place being in the same space as them. The exact group that had intimidated you out of your relationship.

“That’s ok,” you say, coming off a little shy. “It looks like you’re all full anyway.”

“‘S’always room for yeh.” He says this so directly, his eyes locked on you. You’re suddenly aware of how empty your hands are and would kill for that drink your friend promised you.

You choose not to respond, mostly because you don’t know how to. “I’m here with someone, anyway.” You swear his smile falters. “Uh, she’s at the bar getting us drinks.”

His face brightens a little at the clarification and thankfully, he finally averts his eyes from you to take a look towards the bar. He squints, “’S tha—?”

“Yeah,” you confirm and he smiles.

“Doesn’ look like she’s bringing ‘em over anytime soon.” You follow his gaze to see your friend making conversation with the bartender with what is most definitely her flirty face, sipping on an already half empty drink. You note yours sitting right in front of her, discarded and ice melting.

“C’mon,” he says and you turn your attention back to him. His hand is outstretched and you hesitate.

Its one thing to make casual conversation with him in passing but it’s a different thing altogether to take his hand and spend the night at his table with him. It would be too much like old times for you to bear. But his eyes gently plead you, something you’re very familiar with, and like always you’re powerless to resist. Your hand reaches out, almost on its own accord, and takes his. The smile on his face grows and he moves to lead you through the crowd.

At his table, he introduces you to a few people loitering around before pulling you to sit down next to him. You can’t help but note the mysterious blonde from the internet photos and the fact that he doesn’t extend his hand to introduce you.

He’s got bottles at his table and though you’re about to refuse, Harry’s already poured you a drink – your favorite, of course. He slides it over to you without a word and he picks up his own glass. It’s quiet between the two of you, both sipping on your respective drinks, until he speaks up and it’s like his voice echoes across the whole place.

“You look…amazing,” he says, almost breathless. The intensity of his gaze used to make you feel special, the most important person in the room to him. But right now, it makes you feel shy, like you don’t deserve it anymore.

With averted eyes, you reply with a soft, “Thanks.” He doesn’t take his eyes off you and you feel the sudden need to reciprocate. “You look very handsome, yourself.” Your compliment is spoken just as softly with an added, “As always.” A blush flies over your cheeks at the involuntary addition but he doesn’t seem to mind.

His lips curve into a smile and it fills your body with unexpected warmth. It may not have happened too often right before things ended, but nothing could make you forget the feeling of knowing you were the reason he was smiling. His expression lingers and you find yourselves just looking at each other. To be honest, after all this time, it was nice to be able to see his face somewhere that wasn’t the grainy screen of your computer.

As if on cue, Sign of the Times comes blaring through the speakers. It’s some insane club remix, and you scrunch your nose in displeasure. “You know,” you say, straining to be heard over his voice pumping out of the speakers, “your new stuff is really good.”

“Don’ think I forgot to add a bass drop?” he comments with a cheeky smile as the beat thumps heavily around the bar.

A giggle escapes your lips at the thought of him making beats in the studio. “Definitely not.”

He chuckles, breaking eye contact and looking down at his drink. “Thanks, though. I, uh, I’m glad t’see your opinion hasn’t changed.”

“I’ve been listening to it non-stop,” you admit. “It’s my favorite album to listen to at the moment.”

“Mine too,” he replies. “In the least self-absorbed way possible, of course,” he adds with a dry chuckle.

And with that, the two of you fall into a rhythm that feels almost too natural. His head still falls back the same way when he laughs at something silly you say. Your eyes still nearly roll out of your head when he tries to subtly sneak a few puns into the conversation. And even though there’s plenty of space between you two, his hand still manages to brush up against the bare skin of your knee a few times, sending your heart rate soaring.

A few more drinks, a few sideward glances you throw the blonde at the end of the table, and almost an hour of catching up goes by. His arm is resting around the back of your chair now, his own chair having been slid over little by little directly next to yours at some point.

He’s leaning in when he speaks, so close you can feel the fan of his warm breath across your skin. “You know, it’s really…” Harry trails off, like he’s lost steam but the inquisitive look on your face pushes him forward. “It’s really good t’see yeh.”

And though your heart aches for him even more now that he’s sitting right next to you, you agree. “You too,” you say. The hint of politeness in your voice isn’t lost on him.

“No,” he says, sighing as if you didn’t understand him. He runs a hand over his face, frustrated, seemingly trying to string together the words to make you understand him. “I jus’…I haven’ been able to stop thinkin’ about yeh since everything happened.”

His face displays a hint of the same sadness that you’d been feeling deep in your chest every moment you’d been separated from him. He’s given you an opening. It’s a chance to really tell him how you’ve been feeling – the night you broke up, the months since, and even the bittersweet moments you’d spent with him tonight. It’s your chance to finally tell him how desperately you miss him.

But missing him is an understatement and you aren’t even sure how to express that to him.

“No, no,” he says hurriedly, and it’s only then that you realize your eyes are filling with tears, “I didn’ mean to upset yeh, love.”

You sniffle. “I need some air.” And without waiting for a response, you’re shimmying out of from behind the table to find the door. You don’t make it too far when a hand tugs on yours and you look back to see Harry.

“Door’s this way.” His head nods in the opposite direct and you allow him to pull you towards it. Feeling a bit childish, you wipe away stray tears with your free hand. The cool night air hits you as soon as the back door swings open. It’s obvious why the outdoor tables are all vacant but Harry heads towards them anyway.

“I don’t want to sit,” you say. You shiver as you wander over to the fence that closes in the back area.

Harry’s right behind you – you can feel him – but he doesn’t say anything. You take a deep breath in, hoping the fresh air would clear your head. If anything, being outside makes you feel worse. The inside of the bar, with the noise and the people, is full of distraction. Out here, it’s just the two of you.

“Talk to me,” he whispers quietly when it’s obvious your deep breathing isn’t calming you.

When you remain quiet, he sighs. “’M’sorry.” You sniffle but don’t turn around. “M’not trying to overwhelm yeh.  Jus’ when yeh show up here,” he pauses and you can see from his shadow that he’s gesturing to you, “lookin’ like that, it’s hard for me to stay away.”

A puff of air blows past your lips and you finally turn to face him. “I miss you too.” It’s so quiet you’re sure you have to repeat yourself but the twitch of his lip almost into a smile lets you know he heard loud and clear.

“Then talk to me.” Looking into his eyes, it seems so easy. Like the last few months of hurt and yearning would spill out of your mouth just because he asked. His earnest expression nearly tricks you into thinking you could solve everything in the back of some random bar.

“I just…” you trail off, contemplating the right words, even though you know there aren’t any. If there were, you’d have said them to him long ago.

Though he doesn’t prompt you any further, his body inches dangerously closer to you and the pull for him you’d felt when you first spotted him is getting hard to ignore. It’s been too long since you’ve been this close to each other and selfishly you want to soak up every second of it, even if it’ll hurt later.

“I just miss you,” you repeat. It’s simple, and doesn’t even come close to the ache for him you’d been feeling, but it’s all you can come up with – nothing but the shallow characterization of your emotions that the statement brings.

His body responds to the tears continuing to brim your eyes, almost to convey words he isn’t ready to say. His hands reach out, hesitantly, to settle on your waist, pulling on you until you’re flush with him and his forehead drops to yours. With eyes closed, he lets out a sigh.

“’M so sorry,” he mumbles. Your hands feel stupid, hanging limply at your side, so you slid them to grip his arms. His sleeves are rolled up and the brush of his skin against yours sends shivers down your spine. How long had you been desperate to feel this again? “Ruined everythin’, didn’ I?”

“You didn’t,” you reassure, grip tight on his arms. Your eyes squeeze shut, sending the tears pooled in them spilling down your face. “Just…circumstances got out of hand.”

With a shake of his head, he insists, “Circumstances I let get out of hand,” and you can’t deny it. Had he not let his team’s opinions cloud his mind, maybe things wouldn’t have changed so much between the two of you.

He senses your agreement through the silence. “I’ll fix it,” he murmurs quietly. “I’ll make everything up t’yeh. Please let me make it up t’yeh.”

You want to pinch yourself. There’s no way he’s standing here, holding you, gently brushing the tears from your cheeks, telling you everything you’d been desperate to hear the last few months. Your fingers dig into his skin, involuntarily. You want to believe him so badly but it can’t really be as simple as him promising to change the hurtful way he’d let his team treat you. If it was, wouldn’t he have had tried it when you were still together?

You hold each other in silence, his hands now cupping your face, yours gripping onto the warm skin of his forearms, while Harry waits for a response – affirmation that yes, he could still make things work with you, or rejection that no, it’s too late.

At the prolonged quiet, he lifts his forehead from yours, eyes intently searching yours for some kind of answer. You look up at him, lip pulled in between your teeth. Words are lost on your tongue as you feel a breeze blow through the two of you. Being this close to him is too much, any resolve you’d have to think straight being broken down with every stroke of his thumb over your cheek, every waft of his familiar scent. And though there’s so much you want to say in response, all you can muster up is a nod of your head.

A flash of joy – or was it relief— passes through his eyes, though his serious expression doesn’t change. His thumb tugs your bottom lip from where it’s nestled between your teeth. Shallow breaths escape your lips as he leans his face closer to yours. Fingers resting on your chin, he tries to tug you closer to him. You let him.

The door to the bar banging open suddenly makes you look up. It’s a bunch of college kids, too drunk to even notice that Harry Styles is standing right in front of them. But it’s enough for you to push his hands off of you and take a step back.

“Can we go somewhere else?” he asks, not discouraged from the space you created, though he does seem to be aware of the company around you. “To talk?”

You consider the invitation for a moment.  You’d barely been resistant to his kiss in the middle of a very public place. In the privacy of one of your places, you didn’t stand a chance. And though it’s become more and more apparent with every touch that you long to feel him between your legs again, you know you need to talk more.

But if there’s one thing you’re sure of, it’s that you’re no match for the soft gaze of his eyes.

“Ok,” you say softly and the smile that stretches across his face sets off a fire in your belly. He reaches forward to take your hands and give them a light squeeze. “I’ve got to say goodbye, though.”

Harry nods vigorously. “That’s fine. Talk to your friend. I’ve got to go make the rounds before I leave anyway,” he admits. Your heart, so high now from the proximity to him, nearly sinks right down to your toes when you recall one specific person he has to make the rounds with.

Unaware of your hesitance, he moves to let go of your hands but you tug him back.  “What about that girl?” His eyebrows scrunch in confusion and you’re tongue burns as you clarify. “That you’re all over the blogs with. The one that’s been hanging off the end of the table all night.” You look away from him as soon as the words leave your mouth, feeling like a child that was about to be scolded.

His reaction lacks frustration, and to your surprise, has more amusement to it. “The tall blonde? She’s just my new image consultant.” A relieved puff of air escapes your body and a smile attaches to your face as a similar one reemerges across his. “So you’ll meet me at my place?”

Your bottom lip is back between your teeth in contemplation but it only lasts a moment before you nod your head again to confirm. His smile spreads wider and on impulse he moves in to kiss your cheek. It’s quick but enough to send a spark through your body.

“See you there.” And then he was off, back into the bar, leaving you outside with your head spinning.

—

It takes a while to get your friend to pay attention long enough to understand what you’re talking about. Once she manages to pull herself away from making eyes at the bartender, she hands you back your phone (finally), insisting that she was fine.  

The drive down the familiar roads is quick and instinctive, like you still traveled them every day. It takes no time at all to get to Harry’s. Working up the courage to get you to the door takes a bit longer.

You stand outside with a fist hovering over the door, hesitant to knock. If you left now, you could avoid any heartbreak that waited on the other side of the door. Just because he’d promised to fix things didn’t mean that they would actually work out this time. And the thought of losing him twice makes your stomach sink. But all your fears aside, you know not going in would do more harm than good.

Knocking on the door doesn’t seem right, so you lower your hand to the knob, choosing to let yourself in. The sight of his place sets your heart racing in your chest. You’d assumed he’d switch things up a bit, take the touches you’d added back down at the very least. But he didn’t. Everything down to the photos of the two of you is exactly where you left it.

“Love?” Harry calls out. “’S tha’ you?” The sound of his voice snaps you back to why you’re here in the first place.

He’s sitting on the bed when you finally make your way to his room. His shirt is unbuttoned a bit more than before and his shoes are strewn haphazardly across the floor. He bites his lip when he sees you in the doorway, the same look in his eyes from when he’d first seen you tonight.

“Took a while,” he comments. “Was afraid yeh weren’ coming.” And you swear he’s a bit bashful. You’d seen him be many things over the course of your relationship – vulnerable, needy, a tiny bit jealous – but you’d never seen him lose his charm, not even a little.

“I almost didn’t,” you admit.

He stands up closing the space between the two of you. “Glad yeh did,” he says. You hold your breath as his long frame strides closer to you but you deflate when halfway there he turns to his dresser.

“Been meaning to call yeh,” he says as he rummages through the drawers. It isn’t what you expected but you follow him to the open drawer anyway. “Left this behind ages ago.” You recognize the shirt he pulls out immediately, wondering how you’d hadn’t noticed its absence at all in the last few months.

It’s impossible not to remember first and only time you’d worn the shirt. Before the break up, it had been a part of an outfit worn on a night out with your friends. Although, tried to wear the shirt out with your friends might be more of an accurate statement because you’d barely made it passed the kitchen before Harry was desperately trying to tear it off of you.

“Look so good, love,” he’d whispered into your ear as he hastily tugged on the straps. “Always so good.” And he’d hiked your skirt up, pressed your underwear aside, and taken you right there on the counter, girls’ night be damned.

The memory makes your cheeks burn, especially considering it had happened not too far from where you’re standing right now. It’s obvious he’s thinking of it too because he has that mischievous smirk played across his lips as his fingers stroke the fabric thoughtfully.

“Remember when…”

Your heart rate spikes and you reply before he even finishes, “Yeah.” A blush rushes over your face when you realize the damp heat spreading between your legs at the memory.

“Here.” His voice is barely perceptible at this point, reaching the shirt out for you to take. Electricity rockets through your body when you take it and your fingers brush his. You feel like a teenager standing close to their crush with the way your eyes are unable to move from lips that had so desperately pressed kisses into your skin in the memory recalled from the fabric in your hands.

His gaze is just as intense on you, looking in the way you always loved, when his hand reaches out to grab yours, using it to pull you to him. “C’mere,” he murmurs quietly. And though he’d just handed it to you, Harry reaches to slide the shirt from your hand to place back on his dresser. The hand holding yours slides to your waist once you’re close enough and his other grips behind your neck. Every bone in your body is screaming that you just came to talk but you can’t hear anything over the pounding of your heart.

Gentle pressure against your back brings you to him and his thumb presses into your cheek. The butterflies swirling in your tummy apparently are contagious because he hesitates for a moment when his lips hover just above yours. Back at the bar, he’d been more than ready but between the time it took you both to get here, he seems to have lost his nerve.

He’s mere millimeters away from a much anticipated kiss but instead he brushes his nose lightly against yours. You tug involuntarily on him with your hands at his waist, unable to wait anymore and the subtle motivation from you kick starts him again.

His lips twitch above yours, hesitating before pressing a firm kiss to yours. With his bottom lip tucked into between yours and the way your bodies form together, it’s like nothing had changed. Both his hands grip at your waist, digging into the material of your dress so forcefully you swear they could rip right through. The fabric of his shirt is smooth beneath your hands as you slide them up to wrap around his neck. A gentle tug encourages him to deepen the kiss, his tongue sliding into your mouth with ease.

His taste on your tongue overwhelms you, both familiar and foreign at the same time. Everything that you’d been too afraid to say out loud radiates through your body as you press into his to kiss him as deeply as possible. You hope it’s enough to convey words that had been left unspoken for months.

Kisses that start out soft and gentle turn to hungry and needy, tongues battling to rediscover more of the other first. His lips move across your cheek to your jaw then your neck in burning kisses that leave a fire wherever they land. The sudden intensity makes your stomach swirl with a hunger for him and your mind is cautious to where it’s leading.

You press a hand to his chest to push him back in an attempt to catch your breath. “I thought you wanted to talk,” you whisper quietly and the words are barely out of your mouth before he’s pulling you back in for another kiss.

“Can talk later,” he murmurs and its obvious chatting isn’t all he’s desperate to catch up on. You can’t blame him since you don’t protest when he runs his hand down to rest at the lowest point of your back. You know you very well could protest, push back against him, insist on really talking first, and he would stop. But he’s got his hands all over your body for the first time in months and the thought of where else they’d be soon is enough to push everything else out of your mind.

You trip over his feet when he moves backward in the direction of the bed and despite the intense atmosphere, he can’t help but chuckle at your clumsiness.  His thumbs rub against your cheek affectionately as he searches your face. “Don’ have t’do anything yeh don’t wan’ to,” he murmurs close to your lips. It’s a sweet sentiment, him making it clear he’s not pressuring you, but there’s no way you could stop now even if you wanted to.

You hope your eager kiss is enough of a reassurance to him, paired with quick fingers that work to undo the few buttons his shirt has still got left. When the fabric swings open, it’s impossible for you to not reach out and touch his skin. You take your time as you trace every familiar inch of the tattoos covering him, from the intricate pattern of the butterfly all the way down to the ferns, brushing lightly at the tufts of hair that lead somewhere lower.

He stutters at the feeling of your hand dipping dangerously close to where he’s beginning to strain against his pants. “Tell me what yeh wan’,” he breathes out against your lips.

You’re toying with the cool metal of his belt when you respond a soft, “You.” At your confession, he pulls your chin up to face him, almost as if he can’t stop himself, and he presses a slow kiss to your lips that knocks the breath out of you.

Your fingers are fumbling with his belt buckle and the two of you break apart only to give you a chance to undo his belt. A loud clink greets you when you finally pull it open but you’re not as successful undoing the rest of his jeans. The anticipation of the moment makes your hands clumsy and looping his button back through its hole is proving difficult for your shaky fingers.

“’S ok, love. Go on,” he encourages. His warm fingers come to steady yours and aid in sliding the zipper down. The sharp hissing sound sends a spark of motivation back through you and you’re ansty to get him undressed. When you eagerly press him to sit down on the edge of the bed he falls back without question and watches as you kneel down between his open legs. Your heart races as fingers dig into the band of his jeans to tug them down. How long had you wished to be right in this position? How often had you hoped you were still the only girl he let see him like this? And here you are, yanking his underwear down his legs haphazardly in your haste to get them off.

He springs from the confines of the fabric, hitting against his belly. He’s already thick when you reach out to stroke up the length of him and you relish the familiar weight of him in your hand. He feels full against your palm, just as you remember, and your stomach dips when you realize you’re about to find if he still feels the same on your tongue.

With that thought in mind, your tongue darts out to lick up his length without much of a preamble. You’re pleased to find the fullness of him inside your mouth is just as you remember it and you can’t help but let your lips close around his tip to suck gently. A groan escapes him at the sudden warmth of your mouth on him and your eyes flick up to his as you open your mouth to slide down on his cock. He watches as your head starts to bob up and down, tongue flattening out as you go.

“Missed having m’ cock in your mouth,” he mumbles, hands tangling in your hair. You can’t tell if it’s a question or a statement but you moan against him regardless.

He tastes the same as you remember and you can’t stop yourself from hungrily devouring him. Your mouth chases your hand as it twists up and down on his length, eliciting little puffs of air and soft moans from him. His hips stutter and his hands press deep into the mattress to support him when you open your throat to take all of him in your mouth. “Bloody…” he trails off when his tip brushes the back of your throat and you gag a bit. You repeat the action a few times, swallowing him whole, fingernails digging into the skin of thigh.  

When you pop back off for some air, you can’t help but smile at him with swollen lips when you see the mesmerized look in his eyes. “Fuck, love,” he whispers. “Missed this so fucking much.” His thumb strokes your cheek warmly, the rest of his fingers massaging the nape of your neck. The sight of him slightly sweaty, chest heaving, is familiar and you too missed the thought that you’re the only one that can get him this way. You stroke up and down him while you give your mouth a break and watch his slick tip disappear into your palm and reappear as you slide back down. His tip is leaking now, the sticky liquid getting on your fingers and making them move easier on him.

You’re hit with the overwhelming urge to taste it on your tongue and as soon as you lean down to tongue at his slit, his heady taste overwhelming your senses. The moan that flows out of your mouth earns a similar one from his. Stray hairs fall into your face and he reaches up to brush them away for you, balling your hair up in his hand while you continue to lull your tongue around his head. A suck harsh causes him to tug on you, desperately trying to pull you off of him.

“Love, please,” he pleads when you continue to suckle on his tip. “M’not gonna last if yeh keep at that.”

You feel greedy. One taste of him and you want to take him over the edge with your tongue, feel the weight of his thick ropes spurting down your throat. But you know that’s not what he wants right now so you allow him to gently pull you off of him.

The second your mouth leaves him, he’s leaning down to press a kiss to your lips. The taste of him on your tongue doesn’t deter him from the quick succession of kisses he gives you while tugging at your dress. “Why s’this still on?” he questions, hands bunching up the fabric at the bottom. “Take i’ off.”  You lift off your knees and spin around, pushing your hair to one side.

With a look over your shoulder, you ask, “Unzip me?” He’s eager to oblige, rising from his seat quickly. Hands skim your waist as they make their way up to the top of the zipper that runs along the back of the dress. His breath fans over your shoulder and he leans down to press a kiss to the skin there. As skilled fingers pinch the zipper to pull it down, you shudder at the trail of sloppy, uneven kisses he leaves across your shoulder and the base of your neck.

Even though his skin is smooth and soft running down your arms as he removes the straps, it doesn’t replace the empty feeling he leaves where they were on your waist. You feel like a brat, wanting him to be everywhere at once but at the moment, you’re craving his touch any and everywhere you can get it.  

Your heels come off when you step out of the dress, leaving you in just the flimsy lace underwear you’d worn underneath. His fingers dance down your body, exploring the newly exposed skin, and your skin tingles as they drop closer and closer to your pulsing center. It doesn’t take long for his fingers to slide inside the band of your underwear, the pressure of his hand pushing you back flush against his chest. He finds your soft nub, aching to be touched, and an involuntary moan radiates from you. His lips are back on your neck, sucking harshly as his fingers work slowly against your clit.

You want to scream, cry, anything, from the feeling of him teasing you so agonizingly and your fingers dig into the hand of his that’s resting on your stomach. The way your nails dig into his skin must pinch but he doesn’t react, just breathes heavily in your ear, mesmerized by the way you’re already falling apart in his arms.

When you finally can’t take it anymore, you turn around to find his mouth for a heated kiss. Moving back towards the bed, he steps out of his pants completely. His hands only leave your body when you yank his unbuttoned shirt down his arms to discard on the floor.

He falls back onto the bed, pulling you with him. Your legs land on either side of his and instantly, your hips grind down against his uncovered erection. With the only barrier between you the delicate material of your underwear, you revel in the rush of his skin directly pressed to yours. His hand comes to the nape of your neck to tug you in for a kiss that he uses as an opportunity to flip you onto your back.

In the new position, you miss the contact that grinding down on him granted you but he doesn’t leave you hanging for long. His lips drag down your jaw, dancing around the sensitive skin on your neck before nipping at your exposed nipple. His reward is the soft moan the escapes you and he repeats the action. While his mouth pays attention to your chest, his hand is back down at your center, rubbing over the cloth covering it.

The dampness of the fabric is evident and his eyes peer down at it. “You’re s’wet, angel,” he says, continuing the gentle circles that are starting to make your breathing uneven. “’S that…for me? Still for me?”

You moan as he puts more pressure on your clit through your underwear. “Barely even touched yeh,” he comments, body shifting to lie between your legs. His nose nuzzles your sensitive bud almost lovingly. “Wanna taste yeh so badly. Can I?”

“God, yes,” and you’re practically begging as he’s tugging your underwear down past your feet. Your legs spread with his help and his hands hold them open.

He’s taking a second to admire, a soft, “Look at yeh,” escaping his lips. His cheek is resting on your thigh, while his fingers stroke your slippery folds, feeling the wetness without any barrier. They run up and down your slit slowly and your body flushes with anticipation when his breath fans out across you. You know he’s just trying to reacquaint himself your body but his mouth is so close to where you need him and you’re getting impatient.

He wants to chuckle at the slight bucking of your hips but he doesn’t. With a gentle kiss to the plushy flesh of your thigh and eyes that peer up at you, he puts you out of your misery and licks a firm stroke up your slit. The feeling of his tongue finally on you sends goosebumps over your skin and you lose eye contact as your eyes slide closed.

He’s quick to make it to your clit, tongue working a steady rhythm against it while in an attempt to settle your jolting hips, his hands snake under your thighs to rest at your stomach. They’re strong and hold you in place and you reach down to tangle your fingers in them.

His tongue is moving in short, quick flits against your clit and though you’re squirming above him, he’s relentless. Your hands are grasping for anything they can get a hold of – the sheets, the pillow, his curly head between your legs. He doesn’t let up though, lapping his tongue in ways he knows still make your legs squeeze closed around him.

His hands are everywhere too. On your stomach, giving your hand a squeeze, palming your breast, gripping your thighs as if his life depends on it. You’re certain he’s going to suffocate down there with the way he’s diving in, his full face immersed in your wet heat and he’s looking up at you now, slowing down to give you long, slow licks that drive you crazy in a completely different way.

You’re starting to feel the slow burn in your stomach when his middle finger slides into you easily with how slick you are. He leans back, letting his digit slide all the way in, pressing repeatedly on that spot deep inside of you. Your back arches, your head digging back into the pillow and you can’t tell because you’re eyes are screwed shut but you bet he’s got that smirk on his face, soaking up every second of what he’s doing to you.

“Just like that,” you breathe out, even though you know he’s got no intention of stopping what he’s doing. Your chest is heaving with uneven breaths and if you weren’t so caught up in how good it felt, you’d be almost annoyed that he could still get you worked up with just one finger.

You can tell he’s thinking it too because he’s not doing much now, just pumping his finger into you and admiring the way your body’s reacting to him. His eyes are glued to you, watching every desperate clutch of the sheets and breathy moan of his name. The pressure in your tummy is growing and he’s starting to sense it too. “Harry I’m…” you trail off and he smirks, knowing exactly what you’re trying to finish.

“Yeh about to come, pet?” he murmurs, the hand not inside of you pressing back against your thigh as it begs to close. “Can yeh get there? Fo’ me? It’s been s’long. Want to watch you come.”

All you can do is nod because he’s added an extra finger that stretches you out just a bit. In an attempt to coax your finish closer, he attaches his lips back to your clit, sucking the bud firmly between his lips. The combination of his nimble fingers inside of you and his skilled mouth working your most sensitive nerves sends you over the edge quickly, chest panting and walls clenching down around him.

“Tha’s m’girl,” he murmurs. “Yeh are, aren’t yeh? Still mine?”

“Always been,” you mumble on instinct, still coming down from your high. At the moment, you would’ve agreed to anything he said but you do mean this. It didn’t matter how long you were apart from him. You’d always be his, and him yours.

He gives a smile before pressing a kiss into your thigh. Your hand is at the nape of his neck, desperate to tug on it to bring him back up to you, but the gentle trail of mouth up the slope of your body feels too good to stop. His lips plant kiss after kiss along the smooth skin of your stomach, taking his time to work up to your chest and the hollow of your collar bone.

It seems he’s never done in his mission to relearn as much of you as he can. You can’t be sure but it feels like he’s covered every square inch of your body. If you’re being honest, he could kiss everywhere ten times over and it still wouldn’t be enough for you.

As he moves up the slope of your body, his heavy length makes itself known when it brushes up against your thigh. His mouth finally finds yours again and between the slow, languid pace his tongue is keeping and the weight of him against your leg, your cunt aches for him inside of you.

Harry’s just as needy, rutting against your thigh and letting the sticky substance of the precome still leaking out of his tip help him glide across your skin. His moans reverberate in your body, his chest rumbling against yours.

He’s so close, so ready to be inside of you that you can practically feel him already but instead of giving you want you both so desperately need, he suddenly jerks away. A whine escapes when he lifts off of you, mumbling, “Gotta get a condom.” He’s rummaging around in his drawer and you stop yourself from wondering if any of them had been used in the last few months.

Tugging on his arm, you dissuade him, promising him you’re protected. “Don’t need it,” you moan, feeling his hand still in the drawer. “I took my pill. Promise.” The drawer remains open but he’s pulling back towards the bed again. His eyes search your face, deciphering what you’re really trying to tell him. “Haven’t been with anyone else, prom—”

Your reassurance is cut off with his mouth hotly pressing to yours. His body exudes relief when he sighs against your mouth. “Me either, love,” he promises. His thumb reaches out to stroke your cheek and his eyes are looking at you so intently you want to squirm. “Jus’ wanted you.”

Your heart swells at his admission that he had in fact not slept with any of the girls that tabloids had been so certain he had. He really was yours, no matter the circumstances.

Overcome with emotion and a sudden neediness for him, your hand reaches down to stroke his length. “Wan’ my cock, love?” he murmurs. You nod your head eagerly, lip pulled between your teeth. “Go on, then. Get what yeh wan’.” And his green light is all you need to bring him to your soaking entrance. He slides in easily, just as his fingers had, and the stretch you feel makes you bite your lip. It’s been a while since you felt the thickness of Harry inside of you and though it’s a feeling you’d never forget, it still is something to get used to.

His thrusts inside of you at first are slow while your walls adjust to the delicious stretch that his cock provides. You can tell he’s working hard to control himself, the pace so slow and deliberate, lip bit in concentration. Beads of sweat are already broken out against his hairline as he works hard to keep his thrusts even and controlled.

Your fingers are pinching half-moons in his biceps, legs hooking over his. “Faster,” you plead, quietly, knowing he’s desperate to drive into you and hit deep inside of you and you realize you are too. As his speed picks up, his face gets nestled in your neck, hot breath puffing out against your skin. His chest is pressing hard into yours, and it’s a bit uncomfortable the way your breasts are being squished, but you revel in the heavy feel of his body resting on yours.

The bed shakes with the vigor of his thrusting, knocking back against the wall in a rhythmic pattern. Your head leans back against the pillow as your body arches into him. He takes advantage of your position and sucks a mark into your neck. You aren’t his to mark anymore –or are you?—but you let him anyway. The harshness of his lips is soothed by a flick of his tongue and then he’s moving down to kiss your shoulder and your collar bone.

His hips slow as he presses deep inside of you, opting for small, pulsing thrusts that press exactly the spot that gets you panting and digging your nails into his back. Your stomach coils when you feel the brush of his tongue against your earlobe before he nips at it.

With his face buried in your neck, your lips are equal with his shoulder, pressing out kisses and tiny nicks when he hits you particularly deep. He surrounds you, not one part of your body not completely enveloped in his and the smell of his skin, now sticky with sweat, is intoxicating. You’re overwhelmed with how every one of your senses takes him in.

He’s thrusting fully now, pulling in and out so he can slide the entire length of him in and out of you. Your groan of pleasure is immediately followed by one of pain when his shoulder accidentally nudges you in the eye.

“Wha’?” he asks when you press back against his body.

You’re rubbing your eye when you respond, “Poked my eye with your shoulder.”

He pauses for a second, pressing kisses to your eye. “’M sorry,” he murmurs, kissing your cheek, then your nose and any other area his shoulder could’ve offended. “Didn’ mean to.”

You assure him you’re fine, it’s fine, everything is fine and he should keep going but he still leans back to create some space. One of your legs is lifted, granting him a new angle that almost makes up for the loss of contact.

This position gives him more of a brace as he holds onto your leg and really pushes into you. He’s grabbing you by the nape of the neck, foreheads pressed together while he unceasingly pumps in and out of you. You try to hold his gaze but he seems incapable of stopping from his eyes sliding closed in pleasure, mouth hanging open though no sounds come out. And though he’s so relentless that your eyes almost want to slide shut as well, you keep them trained on the sight in front of you. Nothing was better than the fucked out look on his face as he drives into you and the knowledge that you’re the one that makes him feel that good.

You know he’s close by the way he picks up his pace, thrusts coming uneven as his fingers dig into your leg. “Kiss me,” you whisper and he obliges placing a sloppy kiss to lips as he grips your face. Personally, you don’t know if you have another orgasm in you but then you feel the rough pads of his fingers rubbing against your clit to get you there again.

It isn’t long before you’re running your hand up the nape of his neck to tug at the hairs there as your climax washes over you. He only thrusts a few more times after your walls squeezing down on him enough to coax his finish as well. His thick spurts land inside of you, though you’re not concern because you really are diligent about taking your pill.

His body collapses down to yours, face finding its way back to the crook of your neck. The two of you lie with sweaty bodies panting against each other for a while. Your fingers dance along his back, drawing patterns and shapes against the skin, smoothing over the marks and scratches your nails had etched. They then make their way up to his hair, scratching the scalp gently in the way he’d always liked. You figure there’s a fair chance he’s already fallen asleep because, as you remember, nothing puts him out quite like back drawings and head scratches but eventually he does move off of you. His body lands next to yours, chest heaving significantly less than a few minutes ago.

He looks over at you, an unreadable look in his eyes, and you know he’s looking to talk finally. Instead, a smirk spreads across his face as he pulls you to nestle on his chest. “Now, what did I tell you about reading those bloody gossip sites?”

[jonathanbuckland]

A Wonderful Adventure

I stopped using this account months ago because of a very specific personal reason which was completely unrelated to my love for Coldplay and Jonny. However, THE PAST FEW DAYS HAVE BEEN ABSOLUTELY INSANE AND I NEED SOMEWHERE TO VENT ABOUT IT! 

I don’t really know where to begin or how to explain properly what happened recently. After years of saving, I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to follow Coldplay for the last 5 dates of the European leg of the A Head Full of Dreams Tour in Cardiff and Paris. A few amazing things happened on the tour, so I thought I’d make a post explaining them. 

By now, I’m sure you all know about the incident at Coldplay’s Dublin gig a couple of weeks ago where Jonny got hit in the head with a bottle while he was performing on the C-stage. It really upset me as someone who looks up to Jonny a lot, both physically (because he is part giraffe) and as a musician. There was a massive outpouring of love across social media towards him and it made me really happy because he’s such a sweet person and deserves love and respect, rather than things like that. But the idiot who did it is just that; an idiot. They pale in comparison to the hundreds of people who were showing love towards him. 

The day after the concert, on Sunday 9th July, my friend Alycia (@coldplay-kid) was coming to my house as we were leaving for Cardiff the next day to see Coldplay. I was in my room blasting A Head Full of Dreams as I tidied it. I was also scrolling through Twitter and I noticed that Jonny tweeted a fan saying that he was okay after what happened in Dublin. I replied telling him that I couldn’t wait to see him nail his guitar solos in Cardiff:

I also tweeted about how British he is because he said thank you twice in his tweet before I went back to tidying my room. A few minutes later I picked up my phone because I noticed it was lighting up with loads of notifications. I went on twitter and loads of people were mentioning both me and Coldplay. Then I realised that Jonny had tweeted me! 

I started completely freaking out and my mum came in asking what happened! I went around telling everybody in the house that Jonny had tweeted me. I really don’t know how he found the tweet because I didn’t reply to his tweet for 25 minutes and in the one he replied to I didn’t even tag the band’s account! I guess he was lurking on Twitter or stalking my account (!) It was incredible because Jonny tweets very rarely and tweets fans even more rarely. I always used to tweet Coldplay asking them to check whether Jonny had the correct password and working wifi because of how infrequently he tweeted! I feel really honoured to have been one of the few fans that he has ever tweeted. I never ever thought he would reply, especially because I didn’t tag the band in it and they don’t follow me! It was such a funny tweet and it makes me smile every time I read it. Still hasn’t sunk in, to be honest. 

After the tweet, I thought my week couldn’t get any better…but then the concerts happened. 

Cardiff Night One (1/5)

I was going to the first Cardiff show with Alycia and our three other friends, Amber, Hannah and Laura. We all decided to make signs for the band. I wanted to make one for Jonny and settled on one that said “Jonny Buckland Defence Squad”. After what happened in Dublin I thought he deserved a supportive sign. The plan on Tuesday was to run to C-stage and to hopefully get on the barrier and get them to notice our signs. After almost three hours of queueing in the pouring rain, we managed to get C-stage barrier! Here’s a picture of all of us with our signs before he concert started:

The first part of the concert was amazing, but we were waiting in anticipation of them coming to the C-stage. Finally, the lights went down and The Guesthouse and Amazing Grace played. We knew it was time.

The first song they played on the C-stage was In My Place and as Jonny was playing the opening riff, he started turning around. He saw my sign straight away! He nodded at me and started beaming and even bowed his head like he was a bit embarrassed, bless. It honestly made me SO happy because Cardiff was the next show after Dublin and the last time he was on the C-stage something was thrown on him, but now he had a positive sign just for him! 

Here’s Jonny noticing the sign on the video I took:

Immediately after Jonny saw it, Guy saw it and smiled at me and then Chris came over to him and started looking at the crowd and he also saw the sign and laughed! I was in heaven. During the rest of the set, Jonny looked at me a few more times, still smiling, which was just amazing. They really are so close on the C-stage. I didn’t think it could get any better but boy, was I wrong. At the end of Us Against The World, Jonny took his guitar off and put it down on his stand. He walked straight over to me, beaming, and put his hand out towards me. I tried my best to reach over the barrier but then he mimed throwing something at me. I was shaking so much I couldn’t quite take in what was happening until it was over. He threw his pick at me and it landed just in front of me on a coat which had fallen off the barrier! He was trying his best to get it to me and absolutely beaming at me as he did it. It was such a special moment. He even waved goodbye to me as he left. I found pictures on Twitter of the moment a couple of days later:

(There’s also a video).

I put the torch on my phone on and refused to take my eyes off the pick until I had it in my hand. Infuriatingly, I was slightly too short to lean over the barrier fully and pick it up. Amber even offered to pick my ankles up so I could lean down and get it! Eventually, the stewards returned and I managed to get one of them to pass it to me (but not before she sent it flying as she thought I meant the coat…very stresssful). I finally came back to consciousness about halfway through Up&Up as I was in such a state of shock (and stressed over getting the pick)!

I still can’t process what happened and don’t know that I ever will. I wrote on the reverse of my sign “P.S. Can I have a pick please :)” and after Jonny had seen my sign I flipped it over. I intended to hold it up at the end for one of the Roadies to possibly notice, I never thought in a million years that Jonny Buckland would throw me his own pick on stage! I haven’t seen him do that to a fan recently. I feel so lucky and grateful for everything. 

Here’s me at the end of the show, pick and sign in hand (I look like a deer in headlights):

We also all got given picks by one of Coldplay’s roadies, Hoppy, who told us to come to the A-stage at the end because he didn’t have any with him at the C-stage. It was such a sweet thing to do. He really went out of his way to make our night special.

Cardiff Night Two (2/5)

On the second night in Cardiff, Alycia and I both had VIP Early Entry meaning we would be near the stage. I thought we were on Guy’s side for some reason, but when we got to the stadium on the day we realised we were actually on Jonny’s! I was over the moon. We already agreed that we wanted to stand near the A-stage, so it now meant I would be close to him again. After a messy entry, we managed to get on the barrier a little bit along from Jonny. We were both ecstatic with our spot. I brought the sign with me to the stadium, but I wasn’t sure whether to hold it up or not. I felt a bit awkward doing it again, so I had it at my feet on my the barrier thinking I would use it during the concert if he didn’t notice me. It wasn’t needed at all! As soon as the band came onstage for A Head Full of Dreams, during the opening verse, Jonny saw me and smiled at me. I think he remembered me from the night before. I was so happy. I made so much eye contact with him throughout the concert and there really is nothing like having his infectious smile aimed directly at you! During the Paradise remix, I was jumping up and down like a woman possessed. It’s one of the highlights of the concert for me, it’s so fun live. Jonny saw how much I was dancing and smiled at me again! He also smiled at Alycia and I during Fix You when he started his guitar solo because we started cheering him and dancing to it. I caught another moment on camera during Adventure of A Lifetime. They have monkey graphics on the screen and as a joke, I pointed at the screen and screamed “HARAMBE!!!!”. I looked up towards the stage and Jonny was looking at me and laughing. I mouthed something like “oh my god” and face palmed in embarrassment and he kept smiling at me. I don’t know if he heard what I shouted but he was definitely looking at me and smiling so that was pretty awesome. 

Here are a few screenshots of that moment:

At the end of the concert, Rob Brydon and a couple of others came out to sing the Welsh National Anthem. I noticed Jonny learnt it on guitar which I thought was really sweet. It was amazing to see him at his “home” show. Just before the bow, he came and stopped in front of us and applauded us. It was just incredible. I couldn’t get over the unbelievable couple of days I had. But I still had three more shows to go!

Paris Night One (3/5)

Luckily for Jonny’s mental health, I had seats for this show. I knew I was high up but I didn’t realise I was right on the back row! I had an amazing view of the Xylobands:

The Jonny Buckland Defence Squad was also still going strong at the back, as seen in this video I posted on Twitter.

I enjoyed a more chill gig and I think you need to see it from near the back to really appreciate all the special effects and effort that goes into each and every show.

Paris Night Two (4/5)

For this show I had normal standing. Feeling kind of insane and pretty exhausted, I headed back to the Stade de France at around 8am (after getting back to my hotel at 1am) and met up with my friend Ginnie. I spent the day queueing with Ginnie and her friends in thirty plus degree heat which was exhausting. Doors opened at 5pm and we managed to make it onto the second row, right in front of Jonny as our gate was on his side. I was pretty much directly behind where I had stood on the second night in Cardiff on the barrier. It was an amaaazing spot.

I managed to set the record for the quickest Jonny notice ever! As the introduction was still playing and he walked onstage, before he even picked up his guitar, he saw me and smiled at me. I was over the moon before the first song had even been played!

The concert was incredible. During ETIAW me and Ginnie stuck confetti to our foreheads because we were so sweaty. Jonny and Will saw and looked a bit confused but amused:

I didn’t film much of this show because I just wanted to enjoy it and it was beng filmed anyway.

Here are a couple of pictures of Jonny I took:

After the concert as I was walking out of the stadium, I saw a piece of paper on the floor and for some reason I decided to pick it up. It turned out to be a setlist! I looked around to see if anyone had just dropped it but it seemed that no one had. I couldn’t believe my luck!

(Yes, they were supposed to play Miracles….I want to fight them).

Paris Night Three (5/5)

After a wonderful day spent exploring Paris with some lovely Coldplayers on Monday, it was time for the last show. For the final show I had VIP Early Entry once again. I go to the stadium around 10am and queued with Ginnie and her friends in thirty four degree heat. I also met a really sweet fan, Mathilde, who was attending her first Coldplay show. I decided to join her and her brother on the B-stage. We got barrier right opposite the steps.

The heat was so intense, I probably would have fainted if I didn’t have the barrier to lean on and access to water from the stewards. I saw so many people that had to leave the crowd, some in tears. It was so sad.

After the longest five hours of my life waiting in the stadium in the suffocating heat, Coldplay finally came onstage.

When they came to the B-stage I held up a sign that said “PLEASE PLAY MIRACLES” but sadly they didn’t see it. Jonny noticed Mathilde’s sign which thanked them for coming to Paris and told them to come back soon and gave her a thumbs up!

I thought Jonny wasn’t going to see me but then near the end of Magic he saw me, grinned at me and we nodded along to the music together. I was over the moon once again for the umpteenth time that week.

Here’s some pictures of them on the B-stage:

I thought my night and the tour couldn’t get any better, but once again I was wrong.

During Charlie Brown, I noticed one of the roadies coming around the barrier with things in his hands after they were taking the instruments off the B-stage. I saw him hand something to a girl a bit further along the barrier from me and when I realised what it was, I freaked out. He saw and came and passed it to me!

I now had Will Champion’s drumstick which he just used on the B-stage right in front of me! I felt like the luckiest girl on earth! But the concert wasn’t even over! I had been drumming along with my stick all night to the songs (as I play drums) and during A Sky Full of Stars the camera guy saw me and filmed me for pretty much the whole song! I was on the screen so much! I was a sweaty, frizzy mess but I was so happy I didn’t care.

When the band walk to the C-stage, they had to walk down the steps in front of us. On their way there I was too in shock to do much but I did pat them all on the back. Jonny and Chris saw Mathilde’s sign, asking for a hug because it was her first show and both shook her hand! It was amazing to be so close to them and Jonny kind of leaned over to me to get to Mathilde (I was dying). Will also picked up a green AOAL balooon that was in his way and hit it into the crowd!

One of the highlights of all the concerts happened to me on the way back from the C-stage. I decided to stick my hand out for a high five. Guy and Will came past first, Guy just kinda ignored everyone but Will went past smiling at people on the barrier.

Then Jonny walked past. He saw me, grinned at me, came right over to me, took my hand and gave it a firm handshake. I filmed the moment, you can’t really see much but you can hear our hands clap together and me laughing hysterically before squealing like a pig. I’m 97% sure he recognised me throughout the tour, but this made me believe it even more! To me it felt like a thank you and goodbye. It was the perfect way to finish my last show of the tour.

I’m not sad everything is over because I’m so overjoyed this happened to me. I’ve spent a few hours typing all this up, with a grin on my face as I did so. I can’t believe my luck. I got two picks, a drumstick, a setlist and countless special moments with the band onstage. I’m so lucky to have had the chance to attend these shows. I can’t describe the feeling this band gives me. I admire them as musicians, human beings and everything they stand for.

Thank you to all the crew that work so hard every single day to make this amazing tour possible. The eight shows I attended last year and this have been some of the happiest days of my life.

And finally,  Guy, Will, Phil, Chris and Jonny: thank you for everything. I’ll see you soon.

[lonesomealley]

A Short Hike - In Depth Analysis and Review WRITE UP

DISCLAIMER: If you haven't seen the video that this write up is based on, I highly recommend you watch that before reading onwards.

This is a video project that, frankly, I didn’t expect to take so long. And I can’t really go into details as to why it did outside of just immense family issues taking place. Sprinkle in a little procrastination, school work, and a part time job, and it’s kind of a miracle I had the space and time to finally put this together. But it’s here, I’m alive, and I can finally do this write up to give a little more insight into the design philosophy of this video.

I stumbled upon A Short Hike sometime back in June or July when I saw that it was in Humble Bundle’s humble trove that you gain access to when subscribing to their humble monthly service. We had subscribed to this service for my girlfriend’s birthday just as a way to give her a large library of games that she can sit down and slowly churn through, while I was all about playing this game. So I sat down and played it, and played it, and played it. This was one of those games that would cause me to zone out and just put all of my focus towards the game while I’m playing it. That sounds like an odd statement to say considering it should be your goal, as the player, to be fully immersed in whatever you’re playing. However that’s more of a fantasy than a reality, at least with me, because I find myself taking many notes or going between tasks while playing video games.

A Short Hike is also just one of those games that really hits you right in the feels with its message. Now I’m not one to be very receptive to emotional ploys or to be hit by the sad music that plays whenever a character dies in a media piece, but this game somehow nailed it. It’s kinda weird, especially given my videos, that the only two games I would attribute with legitimately evoking an emotional response from me are A Short Hike and The Beginner’s Guide. So given all of the blog posts and video ideas that I had failed to really kick off so far, I decided to write up a 3700 word review for the game and put it into full production.

And that brings us to the release of the video, which took about 4 or 5 months to produce. . . Now I have an excuse for this that I stated previously. And ummm, I was hungry? That’ll do it. BUT, it’s here now, and I can write this paper.

This video was relatively simple, and honestly I could’ve (and probably should’ve) completed this a lot faster than I did. During the production of this video, I played A Short Hike 3 times, and 100%’d it. I feel that playing through games multiple times, and 100%ing them when reasonable, is necessary to understanding the more complex or abstract design of the game I’m playing. Hence, this allows my reviews to become in depth and hopefully more worthwhile than the standard review videos.

When it came to writing the script, I was primarily interested in the narrative design and atmospheric setting of the game, because the way the game goes about doing this was quite interesting. As noted in the video, the game puts its purpose right at the end, no hints, no anything, just a big twist right at the end of the game. And that’s a very unique way to design a video game’s story because it breaks typical writing norms. Usually you’d include tid bits here and there of where the game is going or what the underlying tone is, but nope. A Short Hike says, “fuck it,” and gives you a game that is unapologetically and completely invested in itself. And that’s something that deserves to be documented, which is ultimately the point of my channel: To highlight things that deserve to be talked about, that no one else is really covering.

After I had come to a satisfactory amount of thorough analysis with the writing, I decided to write a review for the entire game. This was because the amount of information I had on the relatively simple plot of A Short Hike didn’t make for a long enough video. Something like this may ultimately drown out the point of the video, which was to highlight the anomaly of ASH’s design, however through this medium I was actually able to also convey other points like the effective world design and gameplay.

If you haven’t read through the script yet, you can do it HERE!

Going into the editing, my project folder will often start out as just some footage files of me playing through the game, and as I begin putting stuff together and deciding on what pace I want the video to be, I’ll go out and collect other resources. My final video project folder ended up being about 67 gigabytes (including the files used for this write up.)

I unfortunately don’t have too much to write about with my editing, because it’s super basic. It’s a lot of cross fades, cuts, and key framing. If you know even the most basic stuff about Premiere Pro you can decipher how I did a lot of my edits with ease, so instead of going in depth about them, I’ll just show you how I put together the video and my workflow.

The first screenshot is how my secondary desktop typically looked while I was working, and the second is my primary desktop which features the default look and layout for Adobe Premiere.

I don’t have any real specialized work flow or editing process for how to put a video together, I just linearly piece the video together until I get a finished project. Going into the script I’ll come up with several ideas for how I want certain bits of the video to work, and will either keep a mental note of it or put some [brackets] in the script to signify what I want down there visually. This keeps the pacing of the video somewhat in check, but a lot of it ultimately comes down to whether or not I want to put in the effort to make a video that’s super stylized. I already tried this once with a previously cancelled project and it turned out horribly. So the editing for this video was a lot of just cuts to different gameplay pieces.

My general philosophy when it comes to editing is that I want exactly what I’m talking about to be on the screen whenever applicable and present visual information in a way that will back up the audio. So while my editing style and workflow are pretty free form and otherwise unfocused, I do try to at least have a reason for why I edited something the way I did. As I’ve said this video was designed to be straight to the point and contain just enough information to make a very snappy video. And the goal of these write ups is to explain a lot of the decisions made during the video editing process and things that influenced the video to get made the way that it did. As I continue making these videos, I hope to improve the conveyance of information over time so that what you’re being told is much more concise and comprehensible for many different audiences.

That isn’t to say my design philosophy is flawless though. One major problem with this format comes down to not having the right footage for a certain thing, or not having enough time to properly show it off. There’s one part where I briefly mention the direct shortcuts you can use on A Short Hike’s island and I couldn’t use a piece of footage of me using it because I simply didn’t have enough time. So I compromised with just a brief close up shot of one of the shortcut entrances, this was the best I could do to convey that this was what I was talking about.

I think in many instances the pacing of the cuts is done effectively enough that you can pick up on all of the information I’m trying to portray, but in some others it may fall flat or be convoluted by the use of filler footage. Filler footage is, and will always be, a problem in the medium of video essay because you aren’t going to have an example for everything you’re talking about from gameplay alone, especially if you like discussing hypotheticals. Of course, you can spend a lot of time developing those concepts in your own mediums such as through a game’s development tools, but that takes a lot of extra time and effort that I simply couldn’t afford to put into this video. On this note, let’s talk about the audio quality. This has been something that primarily just comes down to not having the proper equipment to really make my audio sound good. And I can really only subsidize this so much through the use of audio editing to the point where the effort that I put in just isn’t worth it in my opinion. That’s why there’s several moments in the video where my audio cuts out or goes a bit wonky. I want to clarify that in these moments that isn’t me just being terrible at audio editing like my Beginner’s Guide video, that’s actually my microphone just randomly refusing to pick up audio information. This can be worked around if I really sought to, but that would take too much time and effort on my part when I could purchase new audio equipment.

My overall goal with this video was to construct a snappy, well paced video that put all of the game into one convenient roll up. It might be a little strange for a review video to have massive game spoilers (as the point of reviews is to inform customers who haven’t played the game yet) but I feel it was necessary to be able to explain what exactly this game does.

A lot of my external resources and information either came from Adam and Mark, or were just some google images regarding what I was talking about. You may notice that in my video I use screenshots of DMs from Mark but not Adam, this is because Adam said that while I could talk about the information he gave me, I was not to screenshot it. I guess you’ll just have to take my word on that.

The final thing that I’ll really talk about video wise is the part where I play my own remix of a rock song to demonstrate how music affects video games.

This is basically a vaporwave version of an alternative rock song called “Black Domino” created by the band Ozma. And trust me, I really have no rhyme or reason for making this outside of just pure boredom. I loaded this song into Audacity, threw a bunch of effects on top of it like phasers and slow pitching, and it turned into this monstrosity(?). I figured since some people might want to listen to the full thing that I’d include it here. This song is technically part of a full album that I’m working on, that’ll feature a bunch of vaporwave or just weird songs constructed very shottily in Audacity or whatever I feel like working in. If a blog post ever appears about the album, now you know ahead of time.

Next I want to talk about the artwork that I commissioned for the video thumbnail. For this I went and picked out an artist that I already knew somewhat. That artist is Kagu, aka NeroNero, aka Totoaba. . . She really needs to decide on a name. But anyhow, she has fairly exceptional design skills and I saw the potential in her making a good, catchy, and flashy thumbnail that would show another level of effort and philosophy when it came to YouTube thumbnails.

So we started by discussing what I was expecting and how much I was going to pay. That went along the lines of, “Hey I need a thumbnail for a YouTube video and I will pay you at most $50 to make it.” Fortunately for me, she said yes. There was just one issue, however. Kagu was all about character design, and I mean that. There are next to no scenic pieces of art on the entirety of her twitter. Although considering I wasn’t sure how much scenery was really going to be needed for the composition, I went with the most comfortable option and pressed on. For reference, here’s a couple pieces of her art.

Again, please visit her twitter!: https://twitter.com/neru_nero_/

Having to go out and commission art was a really interesting process that I documented as it went along. Going into the commission I didn’t really know what I wanted (don’t be me), but not wanting to be that commissioner who just says, “Surprise me,” I had to quickly assemble a basic composition. However the only drawing program, and access to actual drawing tools, was Microsoft Word on my laptop. What resulted was the below abomination.

However, I feel like I should carry you, the reader, through the commission process so I want you to take a close look at that first sketch and this finished product:

After this first sketch was sent to her she immediately went to work and came back to me with this:

It’s not great, but it’s definitely a start. What may stick out to you immediately is that Claire, a big focal point of the composition, is pretty stiff and otherwise blocky. So she went through a redesign.

And then, deciding there wasn’t enough in the composition, we added a waterfall.

Once we had finalized the composition sketch, the next thing was to make a nice outline for it all so we could start coloring.

I knew from the get go that the background was just going to be some gradient that would mirror the colors and tones from A Short Hike. We used several official art resources and in game screenshots to come to the conclusion of what this gradient looked like.

Now given my standards, that’s about where the thumbnail would’ve ended. Just slap a logo on there and I would’ve been like, “Alright cool here’s some money thanks.” But she didn’t stop here.

I feel the need to point out that Kagu was entirely gracious in trying her own thing and putting her own spin on the rather simple ideas that I gave her. She wouldn’t just stop at adding basic shadows to something, she really went the extra mile to make sure that things aligned and matched. And while she had some communication issues where some of my feedback she would seemingly ignore, we did eventually work through those to produce something that looked better each and she was always willing to adjust something even without my input. An example of this is the clouds.

Initially, I had no idea what I wanted these clouds to look like and how that process of describing it to someone else would go. All I knew was that I wanted the clouds to appear like how they do at the end of the game with their odd flat appearance blended with the use of gradients. (The screenshot was rendered in high resolution for clarity.)

When I sent her that, she took a good amount of time to just experiment and figure out what she was doing. She then came back with clouds that were way above my expectations. And even as we adjusted the background gradient, she was happy to change the tone of the clouds along with it.

And speaking of that background gradient, I believe we spent a good hour making sure that the gradient in the background was just right, and she did it joyfully and productively.

And so we eventually came down to the final product.

This piece was well smoothed out, and I used my eye as an observer to catch all of the little details and errors that she made along the way, and she was entirely happy to clean them up. In the end we settled on $50 for me to own the rights to the art, and the money was promptly sent through PayPal.

Something that my brain didn’t quite register in time is that I’d possibly want to have a logo-less version of this piece polished and available to be put up here. So unfortunately I don’t have the most polished logo-less piece in the world, and I deeply apologize for this. However if you’re able to look over some of the rough edges that the logo was previously covering up, then you are entirely free to download and use this however you please.

I have a download link to the full resolution (1920x1080) pictures (plus some little bonuses) HERE!

In retrospect this video write up wasn’t as impressive and as grandiose as I had previously hoped for, and this will hopefully resolve itself with time as I build up a fan base and figure out more things to talk about with these write ups. But hopefully what I’ve put out so far gives you a little bit of insight into how I develop my videos and I plan on continuing these for every single essay video that I put out there. If you have anything you want me to talk about in the next video write up, please send me an email at countunderscore@gmail.com.

-Count_

[thisislizheather]

July Jiffs 2019

So technically the end of August is the appropriate time to start any and all Halloween/autumn talk (I think I made up that rule, but it feels right), so I’ll respect that and wait. Just know that I’m inwardly filling up with joy in anticipation of the best time of the year. Here’s what went down this month!

I made a list of some of my favourite summer vacation-y movies that I like to watch to pass the ungodly slow summer hours.

I read and reviewed the book Tiny Beautiful Things by Cheryl Strayed (the woman who wrote Wild).

We had a small party for July 4th and it was the best. Here’s what I made and loved: Panzanella Salad with Fresh Mozzarella (I used the How Sweet Eats recipe, but added mozzarella and omitted the corn and avocado - I also made the croutons the Ree Drummond way, because that’s the tastiest way), Spinach Bacon & Artichoke Stuffed Mushrooms (because they’re so delicious I want to scream), I used bell peppers as the bowls for holding the ranch for the vegetables, Slow Cooker Ribs, Eggplant Lasagna (I can’t remember the recipe I used, but it was pretty basic), Peanut Butter & Nutella Cheesecake Bars (this was the second time I’ve made these and it’s a perfect dessert to make a night or two before so that it can really set up), Blueberry Lemon Bread, and a charcuterie board (which is like assembling food art & I love it).

My favourite fruit/vegetable season is the end of summer mainly because of the fresh tomatoes and corn, so I can’t wait to try some of these corn dishes available in NYC right now. Although I don’t know how any of them are going to compete with the corn gnocchi at Park Avenue Summer. (I just looked and there’s also a sweet corn agnolotti with black summer truffles on the menu now too, so things just got interesting.)

Jenn sent me a link to this lovely poem Perhaps the World Ends Here by Joy Harjo that I just love.

I watched the AOC documentary Knock Down The House on Netflix and it’s so, so good. Cried at the ending.

I went on Nathan’s podcast to talk about dogs, cheating and movies.

I went for lunch at the cafe at Lilia in Brooklyn and it was ONLY AVERAGE. So that was disappointing. Maybe I ordered badly? I got the prosciutto, parmigiano butter, balsamic mustard sandwich - and even though it looks great (love whole grain mustard), it was really just too bready and not very flavourful.

Above Photo: Prosciutto, parmigiano butter, balsamic mustard sandwich at Lilia Cafe, Brooklyn

I saw Midsommar (by the same guy who did Hereditary last year) and I really liked it. Some parts are just unnecessarily graphic (and the slow motion shots of this stuff are insane to watch), but the plot was great. Love an original movie.

Watched the entirety of Champions on Netflix and it really bums me out that it got cancelled, it was a really fun show.

Made this chocolate chunk coconut banana bread and it was goooooood.

I visited the new TWA Hotel at JFK and wrote about it over here.

So excited to hear that there will be three more seasons of Big Mouth!

I also rewatched Dante’s Peak (still a great movie) and Twister (again, it holds up). I think I was in a natural disaster kinda mood that week.

Do you remember experiencing or hearing about the ride Kongfrontation at Universal Studios in Florida? I’ve only ever heard of it, but it seems like it was probably the best ride that ever existed at that park. I hate how most ride these days are just 3D screens with no real interaction or animatronics, it’s bullshit.

Fucking obsessed with this strawberry lemonade kombucha that’s apparently only available at Trader Joe’s. I thought their gingerade was the best flavour, but now I have to reassess everything. (Also tried the “watermelon wonder” but it’s pure trash.)

Some songs that I can’t stop listening to: You Need To Calm Down by Taylor Swift, Blow Your Mind by Dua Lipa, Everybody by Elliphant feat. Azealia Banks, Boys by Lizzo, Let Me Go by Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso feat. Florida Georgia Line & watt, Doin’ Time by Lana Del Ray, We Were Young by Petit Biscuit feat. JP Cooper, Calma (Remix) by Pedro Capo & Farruko

Apparently I can’t get enough of Bill Hader.

I refuse to shut up about how great the (square bottle) nail polishes are at Urban Outfitters. They’ve been consistently great for years. I’ve been wearing their neon pink Hot Tub off and on for at least five years, and they keep putting out wicked new colours. There’s almost always a 3 for $10 deal and recently I got Coffee Creamer, Sun Bunny & Optic White and they’re BEAUTIFUL.

It’s currently Restaurant Week again (it’s on until August 16th), so of course I went back to The Dutch for their beautiful wagyu steak tartare. I also had the corn cappelletti with chanterelle mushrooms and marjoram that was heavenly.

Above Photo: Wagyu steak tartare, The Dutch, NYC

Above Photo: Corn cappelletti, The Dutch, NYC

I saw The Farewell and it’s everything I wanted it to be and more! Definitely go see it. It also reminded me of this beautiful song that I had to sing for a competition once years ago, Caro Mio Ben.

There’s a deal with ClassPass where you can use the service for free for two weeks, so I tried it and it’s not that great. It’s just too expensive to justify having it when I already have a monthly gym membership somewhere else. I did try an aqua cycling class through Aqua Studio during the free trial and it was… only okay. I mean, it’s fun and great to be in the salt water, but it wasn’t all that challenging as a workout.

I wasn’t planning on buying it, but I tried it, loved it, so had to buy it: Glossier’s Brow Flick. I’m still learning how to use it properly, but so far I’m really into it. It inspired this eyebrow products video that I posted last week.

I saw Toy Story 4 and I really hope this is the final one they make because the ending was so good. That’s all I’ll say. Quality series of movies, right here.

Some friends of mine recently opened up a small, late night food place called Foodstruck in Astoria and the food is really good. They’ve just opened, so they’re still figuring out their hours but I think they’re catering to the late night crowd, especially servers/bartenders who get off work late. Check out some of the food specials from this past week.

Above Photo: Burger with gruyere, onion marmalade, sun dried tomatoes & a rosemary garlic butter on a potato bun

Above Photo: Fried boneless chicken thighs with a garlic soy tamarind glaze

Above Photo: Fried chicken sandwich with a spicy mayo, cheese sauce & pickles on a potato bun

My too-kind friend Irene got us a housewarming gift of a Diptyque candle (in eucalyptus) and somehow it’s still going after three months of daily use, which is incredible. Do not look up how expensive this candle is.

I watched To All The Boys I’ve Loved Before on Netflix and really liked it! Especially the hot tub scene. But let’s not get into it. I double-checked to make sure they’re both over 21 and they are, so all’s good.

Made this pappardelle pasta with mushroom ragu when Nathan was out of town (I like to get my mushroom recipes in when he’s gone) and it’s definitely going on my favourite-dinner-recipes list.

I ate at Misi in Brooklyn because I’ve wanted to go for ages and the pasta was solid as hell, I’d definitely go back. We had the charred peppers, marjoram, and whipped ricotta crostini, the corzetti with marinated sungold (peeled) tomatoes, garlic, pecorino & summer herbs (have you ever eaten a PEELED tomato? It almost feels wrong. The good kind of wrong), the strangozzi with pork sugo, nutmeg and parmigiana and for dessert we had the strawberries and cream gelato (it was a special that night) and the espresso gelato. Everything was so crazy good. The service was fantastic and the space is huge. Is it better than Lilia or L'Artusi (pasta-wise)? Ugh, that's such a hard question. It's really good. I'll have to revisit to get more intel to make a final decision on that.

I went to Coney Island with Irene and it was great, as it always should be.

I visited the Profundo Day Club (mainly to get my ass in a pool) earlier this month, and I highly doubt that I’ll return. Mostly because even though the pool was nice (small, but nice) and refreshing, the blaring house music in the middle of the day was a little excessive. There’s also a disco ball above the pool itself. And a unicorn floatie that drifts around the water. And waitresses who shoot sparklers off when someone buys a bottle of liquor. It’s… not for me, let’s say. And the cheapest pass was $70 (tax included), which is waaaay too expensive for Queens. Let’s be real.

There’s a new season of Comedians In Cars Getting Coffee and the Martin Short episode is just lovely. It almost killed me when he was talking about when he bought his house and said, “We bought it in 1986” even though his wife passed away years ago. Am I being ridiculous in thinking that him using the word “we” is so sad and sweet and nice? Or maybe that’s a normal thing to say and I’d melt at anything to come out of his mouth. And while it was a good episode, I got so fucking sick of all the filler shots of coffee being brewed, coffee being poured into a cup, beans being tossed in a can, flowers sitting in vases - for fuck sake JUST TALK TO MARTIN SHORT AND SHOW ME THAT. Annoying as hell.

Nathan and I started watching season three of Stranger Things and… it’s not good? We saw all of the first season, which was pretty good. Attempted season two and never finished it because it became boring. And last week, we watched the first couple episodes of season three and I think we’ve silently agreed on just stopping it altogether. And look, I’m happy other people like it, but it’s just not for me. Demogorgons are too close to being dragons, maybe that’s why I can’t care about them?

I like to go to at least one baseball game each season, so I went to a Mets game last weekend and got this beauty that was the giveaway (below) since it was the 50th anniversary of the moon landing.

Honestly, this bobblehead makes me so happy for some reason. I love going to Citi Field especially ‘cause the food is always so good. We got the filet mignon steak sandwich from the aptly named Pat LaFrieda’s Original Filet Mignon Steak Sandwich, incredible fries from Box Frites, souvenir cups & drinks from Effen Vodka Bar, mozzarella sticks from Big Mozz, and chips & queso with ginger lime margaritas from Cantina.

Above Photo: Pat LaFrieda’s filet mignon steak sandwich, Citi Field

Above Photo: Fries with parmesan ranch and cheese sauce from Box Frites, Citi Field

Two new things that I’m going to start doing:

1. Buying less things off of Amazon. If there’s an alternative, independently run company that I can find the item at (and if the price isn’t wildly more expensive) then I’ll shop there instead. Every new thing I hear about Amazon makes me shudder, and I hate that it’s become my default place for me to buy anything.

2. If a store/restaurant is cashless (ie. credit cards only), then I’ll refuse to shop there. It’s insane that this isn’t illegal everywhere yet. I’m so sick of it and cash should be accepted everywhere, it’s nuts that I even need to say that. (I was excited to have lunch at Ole & Steen in Union Square for lunch the other day, but they’re “cashfree” so fuck them!)

Some things that I’m looking forward to doing this month: I’ve already sent in my email requesting tickets for Saturday Night Live (you can only request tickets during the entire month of August), I can’t wait to see Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark with Layla, there’s a tomato gelato that I want to try that sounds either awful or life-affirming, going on our anniversary trip at the end of the month, excited for a Canyon Creek caesar salad with Harmeet, planning on going to the CNE with my mom (haven’t done this in years), going to two weddings (!!) and I love weddings, being in a pool with Marla and a bunch of our kids, and taking advantage of a few more Restaurant Week specials. Excited for the last month of trash weather!

[tenrkarchive]

TRC ENTERTAINMENT’S TRIPLE THREAT CHALLENGE

                                                            ... performing a remixed version of SHE’S A BABY by ZICO                                                                                                 and BODY by MINO

» (1:11-1:38 / 2:14-2:40) vocal » (0:010 - 0:55) dance 

May 21st - Yongsan District Open Stage

he hears about the trc competition from a classmate on the day it’s announced, and there’s not a shred of doubt in his mind as to whether he’ll be competing or not - even if purely for the experience and chance to get himself noticed, even if he’s not signed, he’s determined to make the most of the chance. that very day he sets about picking music, asking for his teachers’ advice in what songs fit him best out of the few he’s got scribbled down on a scrap piece of paper he had to hand. 

within days he’s got his two chosen songs with the times picked out and mixed into one track (thanks to a friend who knows a lot more about mixing music than he does). from that point on he refuses all help - he wants to do this on his own; show his skill, and his skill alone. this is a chance to show what he can put together on his own at this point in time. 

waiting in line to sign up gets to a point of nerve wracking that ten thinks he may have never even been acquainted with before. if he doesn’t get to sign up he’s going to regret not arriving at 6am to get in line for pretty much the rest of his life probably. it isn’t that he particularly wants to get signed to trc, in fact he’s somewhat terrified of the tiger. 

maybe a few years ago trc would have been his dream company, due to the reputation of the company producing great rappers, but then, recently he’s wondered if he really does wants to be a rapper, or whether he wants to sing instead. he can’t deny he enjoys both, but he’s got less faith in his singing voice. this will be the first time he’s sung in front of anyone while not drunk, or overheard in the shower. but he’s glad he’s about to face his fears and let people hear him sing for real, even if the thought makes his hands grow clammy. 

finally he gets his name down and just has to wait for it to be called - it’s as if he’s fine tuned his hearing to respond only to his name being called as he blocks out everything else, going over his performance in his head over and over, making sure every point is perfect and his muscles have the moves memorised, the lyrics hammered into his subconscious so he doesn’t have to worry about forgetting his lines. 

the sound of his name being called out loud and clear over the hum of conversation, both excited and nervous, pulls him out of his thoughts and tugs his feet into motion. he’s at the edge of the stage within seconds, an anxious type of exhilaration thrumming through his veins. for the most part this is about experience, and exposure, getting his name, face, and recognition for his hard work out there. of course it’d be a dream come true to be offered a contract with trc, but even just the experience itself would be something truly notable to have under his belt. 

whatever happens this won’t be the end of his road towards the future he craves. 

so he walks up onto the stage and finds the perfect centre naturally. his eyes lock on the judges, falling on tiger jk as he bows ninety degrees to them and introduces himself with a small smile. then, he steps back and the music starts, the remixed track he’d had put together blasting out over the sound system. 

잘 들어 손 안 쓰고 간지럼 태울게 좋아해란 말은 그만 관둘래 얼마 못 가서 넌 날 엄청나게 사랑하게 될 거야 이렇게 행복할 땐 뒤도는 거 아니야 ah ah How ya feel 기분 어때 고개 까딱까딱해줘

he starts off with the bit he’s most scared about - the singing. it’s his way of challenging himself, dropping himself into the deep end to get the worst out of the way so he can shine even brighter once he’s got his foothold. he’d spent most of his time practising the singing part, to make sure his voice didn’t have a single waver or tremble from the nerves he knew he’d inevitably feel. dancing was his forte, and he’d been rapping for years already, but the only singing practise he’d really had was from vocal music in high school when he learnt purely how to control and strengthen his voice and how to pronounce words clearly. he’s put most of it into his rapping until recently, when he decided he wanted to put more of his time into singing as well. he felt it would be beneficial for him to level his skills across the board, since he knew he didn’t have a bad singing voice, and he knew well how to control it. 

the track melts over the bit he’d cut out of the music and into the rap, where he feels like a weight suddenly falls off his chest and the smile that had lingered on his lips as he sang widens, before falling into a smug little grin, his weight shifting as he lets his body move gently to the beat as the rap begins, slowly working his way up for the dance coming later. 

내 검지를 움켜진 작은 손엔 복숭아 향이 나 얼마나 멋져져야 그 눈동자에 나만 담길까 남김없이 다 퍼다 줄래 개털 돼도 뭐랬어 중간 없대도 Not enough 심장에 무리 갈 만큼 해야지 가끔 힘들면 그 시간 나한테 맡겨 깨끗이 해결 짓고 올게 그땐 말없이 안겨 혼란만 부추겼던 등장인물이었지만 지나보면 못 잊을 줄거리야 네 얘기야

he saunters across the stage slightly as he raps, wagging a finger at one of the judges with a cheeky half smile on ‘i’ll solve all your problems’, earning a laugh from a few audience members who he mentally thanks - it boosts his confidence for sure, leaning his head back slightly and peering at the audience out of the corner of his eyes as he finishes the rap. 

then comes the smooth transition into the song he’d picked to dance to, a hand smoothing through his hair as his body simply melts into the dance moves. 

그리워 너의 몸 간지러운 숨소리 생각나 어렴풋이 I can’t feel you

그리워 너의 몸 찰랑이던 머리 생각나 어렴풋이 So where are you

there’s deeper feeling in these lyrics, a more mature, lustful feeling that ten can’t completely empathise with yet - so he does as best as he can because it’s sexual, and he can’t just play the lyrics off as romantic longing. a person pops into his head and he fights the instinct to push him from his mind, instead using those feelings to fuel the passion he puts into his performance. 

Oh god 널 보고싶어 목적은 다를지도 알콜의 힘을 빌려 실수로 전화할지도 모르겠어 판단력이 흐려 흐려 흐려 무의식중에 허공에 너를 그려그려그려 미쳤나봐

the lyrics speak so true to him - drowning things in alcohol and making reckless decisions (like turning up at his window in the early hours of the morning) and drawing him in the sketchbook he carries with him most places he goes. he really must be crazy to let himself think about him so much but a guy can dream, can’t he?

his body ebbs and flows to the lyrics and the beat, eyes linking with the tiger’s as he nears the end of his performance, putting everything he has into it, treating it like it’s the last time he’ll ever get to perform. with him in mind he finds that certain desire that the song requires and he knows he’ll have to deal with the guilt later but for now, to make his performance as real as possible, he bring his own experience to the table. 

the track fades out as he reaches the end of the dance, completely out of breath, but pleased with how it had gone. there’s a grin on his lips as he gives a last bow to the judges then makes his way off stage. his eyes scan the audience until they fall on jieqiong and he’s practically throwing himself at her, a hopeful smile on his lips as he asks “so? how did i do?”

[destiny-smasher]

So I did the “get to know me” meme on Twitter but because of how Twitter functions now it’s a hard to follow mess of a thread. Decided to post it all here -- and hey, if any of ya’ll are curious, feel free to read.

1) When I was 10 my abusive stepdad threw a spray at me. I ducked -- it scraped my head. Sent to school bleeding b/c he was too stoned to realize it'd get noticed and I'd get pulled out of that environment immediately. This moment changed my life, left a scar on head.

If I hadn't ducked, would've hit my stomach. No cut. Whole childhood would've been different. My first Butterfly Effect Moment.

2) I started writing fiction about Pokémon. First-person, from the Mons perspective. Rotating point of view each scene.

3) I moved on to crazy crossover fanfic where I constructed an entire war, personal and political motivations, so many ideas I still like?

4) Part of this involved detailed drawings of Mario-themed Keyblades I wish I still had.

5) Paper Mario 1&2 are some of my most influential inspirations. expanded such a simple world so much so fluidly. (Harder than it looks)

6) When I was a kid my sister would wake me st like 6am to watch dubbed Sailor Moon. Bothered me they all sounded like same person.

7) I can recognize voices very well and even specific sounds and songs. Couple years back my roommate ran a test - playlist of 100 NES tracks, he'd play the first NOTE, singular, and I could recognize exactly where it was from if I'd played the game.

8) My first computer was a PC I bought w/$ saved up during an entire summer of custodial work in HS. Had no Internet.

So I'd use the public library's very slow connection to download things to floppy disk and copy them over.

Eventually, I was able to graduate to a USB. Obtaining music was hellish so I treasured each song I could download -- most from OC Remix.

9) We had this tiny rabbit ears TV that could get WB and Fox sometimes if it was set up in a specific corner of my sister's room

And so I would desperately use it to try and stay up to date on Pokémon and Digimon, it was so bad

10) Teen Titans was arguably the most influential piece of media for my teenage mind. It formed the base of so much I care about re:stories

Fleshed out, varied protags who grew together and each had their times to step up and step down. Action w/character dev context.

Fantastic themes important for growing humans; awesome moments "between the panels" instead of all comic book melodrama and action.

Then everything changed when TT GO attacked and pissed on everything smart and thoughtful because MONEYYYYY

11) Cowboy Bebop was the first "good" anime I ever saw and blew my mind open about what animated stories could do -- i.e. Not just kid stuff

I don't like "anime" in general because most of its common tropes but the shit out of me even worse than most western toon tropes

And yet like 50-75% of my most favorite shows ARE anime because thoughtful animated storytelling has so much potential.

11) I predicted months before Last of Us came out that you'd play as Ellie but when it happened I had to stop, cry happy tears.

I predicted the second I saw the Left Behind trailer what was going on w/those two and again, still had to stop and cry happy tears.

(I seem to have pretty good gaydar now but I also don't like, ship everyone together all the time)

It just hits me so hard when actual canon queerness happens in mass media and is done well, but we're still so bad at following through.

12) Favorite m/m ship: Troy and Abed in the Morning. Favorite w/w ship: Max and Chloe BFF Pirates 2008.

ATLA ships: Tokka the most, also Katang, also Smellershot. ATLA makes me more open to shipping than any other series?

Like, Zutara makes me feel kinda gross and some of the crack ships like Sokka/Azula scare me but otherwise I'm pretty chill w/ATLA ships?

13) When I was a kid, and we'd role play, I always wanted to play the girl characters. I was surrounded by boys so they always were weirded.

It was weird to me, too, honestly.

Now it makes perfect goddamn sense.

14) Apparently I was kidnapped as a baby by some mobster or something but it's hard to tell with my mom what's real or not.

15) Smash Bros. Melee was the first game I ever got genuinely hype over before launch. I still remember being startled to discover it --

-- existed via E3 trailer on GameTrailers back on my goddamn dialup connection in 2001. I had to wait all fuckin' day for that thing to load

And when it did, it was GLORIOUS (and had FZero music, which at the time I did not recognize) and I was FLOORED.

The screenshots made the game look too good to be real, and I was instantly sold on the GameCube, the first time I NEEDED new hardware Day 1

I got SSBM as an Xmas gift before my grandpa's GCN present arrived, so for a week or two all I could do was stare at the box/manual/disc

That game kind of changed my life -- SSB64 was the first time I'd gotten so invested in a multiplayer game, and SSBM crushed it.

A fire was born in me -- competition, something I'd never been much interested in w/games before, not against actual humans.

Those months between E3 2001 and finally getting to play SSBM felt like forever. And thus did I post online fiction for the first time.

That's actually how I met @SDiDuro , my first 'Internet friend' and what I'd consider to be my first proper 'reader.'

16) After college, I ended up working at a call center because it was  the only job I could find and I needed to support my disabled wife.

DURING college, I gave up on writing fiction and had focused on gaming editorial through a site where I'd engaged with an online community

But that empty space between phone calls eventually got filled in by writing fiction on a notepad, with a pen, inspired by Street Fighter 4.

Eventually, this evolved and radically changed into what is now (still in dev) DownRight Fierce.

Back then, I had no idea I'd be motivated to DO this, though -- write original fiction -- but the fire had been re-lit.

I wanted to write.

I was sickened by my "naive" adolescence crossover fics and wiped them from my http://FF.net  profile and started anew.

Having just come off of ATLA 1st time, I knew I wanted to explore that world/characters more, so I wrote a story about Toph & puberty.

That serving as "practice," I then went on to write SRU, and...well, that...changed EVERYTHING.

17) My biological dad (who I have never met) has OCD, to the point where he apparently washed his skin raw trying to avoid germs?

So as soon as I showed enthusiasm in gaming, my parents FREAKED and worried I was exhibiting OCD and they brought the hammer down.

They made me feel BAD for writing about video games when I wasn't playing them, but they never READ anything I fucking wrote.

Even now, my mom tries to comment on what a good writer I supposedly am, yet when I ask for her thoughts, I ask what she's read?

Silence.

I wasn't writing fiction based on games because I was THAT addicted to games.

I did it because a storyteller was awakening within me --

-- and I told stories through the worlds and characters I was familiar with.

(And my first genuinely "serious" fic was Teen Titans, anyway)

But even now, it really hurts that my parents will sometimes try to guilt me over not calling or whatever the fuck, when they never READ

never supported, and actively DISCOURAGED my writing, my storytelling, refused to understanding why I loved games.

18) I never watched Avatar until after college (years after it had finished), and I watched it because of the live action movie.

I watched halfway through the season 1 of the cartoon to get "read up" on it. Then the movie. Which was horrible. Then the rest of season 1.

At that point, the movie utterly baffled me. My wife and I proceeded to marathon the rest of the series. And it became my fav story ever.

But I ironically owe it to that terrible live action movie. ^_^;;

19) My taste in music is really weird. I couldn't tell you what my favorite genres are, and even fav musicians is hard.

Like, every year my top three fav musicians "change" because I just add more to the pile and spend the year focused on their music.

But music inspires my storytelling more than any other medium, I'd say -- in terms of me actually planning and growing ideas.

I didn't just give Nishiko and Seiko last names of my two fav game composers as tongue-in-cheek. In fact, that's not why I did it at all.

I gave them those names because I wanted some element of their very design to express how Japanese composers inspired me in my teen years.

[hd-remix]

HD-Remix 2017 Reveals and Masterlist

Your mods @snowgall​ and @vaysh11​ wish to thank to all of our wonderful artists and authors for helping us put together another great remix fest!

Over the next couple of days, we will be reblogging all of the previously posted fic headers and pull quotes with the authors’ names added. Stay tuned!

Full 2017 masterlist can be found on AO3, Livejournal, and right here below the cut:

violet light by @nephila-clavipes​ ​( R | Art )

your star, through the scars

Keats and Yeats are On Your Side (A Little Insecure: Culture Shock Remix) by @bookshop ( T | 4,700 words )​

“There are all these Muggle songs on the Wizarding Wireless Network these days, and they're all about love.” Or, The thrilling tale of how Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy culturally integrated their pants.

Dark Places by @bixgirl1 ( E | 8,930 words )​

Harry and Draco have been Auror partners and even friends for the last few years--damn good ones, at that--which is why Harry's never tried to change their relationship despite his feelings. Until, of course, they're on assignment and get locked in a wardrobe together. Remix of Leontina's "Pure Imagination"

Two Things About Harry Potter  by @unadulteratedstorycollector ( E | 2,960 words )

Draco knows two things about Harry Potter. He likes to stare at Draco, and he's got a weird thing for a piece of crumpled parchment that should be in the bin. Remixed from the wonderful Map Kinks / Mischief Well Managed by khalulu

5 Times Harry Tried to Propose (and The Time They Get it Right) by alienlover13 ( R | 6,014 words )

5+1 marriage proposals Harry makes to Draco, from Draco's POV. Relationships have ups and downs, and, in this case, six proposals. One has to stick eventually.

Living Secret by @acciotomriddle​ ( R | 1,900 words )

In the eyes of the world, Pansy is Draco’s loving wife and Harry is nothing more than his slave. Behind closed doors it’s an entirely different story.

A Recipe for Happiness by @kikibluemay​ ( T | 4,360 words )

Harry is asked to become the new Minister of Magic and Draco makes sure everything his perfect on his husband's big day.

The Best First Kiss by  @persephoneapples ( G | 2,861 words )

Harry has this theory that his best first kiss is going to be in the rain since his first and worst kiss ever would best be described as ‘wet’.

Shadows Where We Meet by @carpemermaid​ ( T | 2,180 words )

Their secret relationship is starting to be a point of contention for Harry when he tires of faking fights with his boyfriend. [Remixed from Dark Doo Wop by creole_toile]

What Love Really Means by lyonessheart ( R | 4,637 words )

She always thought she knew what love truly meant, until she really understood. Remix of "Second First Chances" by megyal.

Hijinks by @spindlekiss​ ( T | 8,102 words)

a remix of A Blessing in Disguise by alienlover13

Dogged by tigersilver ( R | 5,813 words )

Harry knows exactly why he freed Draco Malfoy, the problem is finding the right words to describe it.

Dream for Me by scarletladyy ( G | 2,152 words )

This fic is set immediately after Shall I Stay by Darkravenwrote, and details exactly why Draco was so drunk earlier that night.

Sea Glass by @i-didnt-wanna-do-it​ ( G | 2,426 words )

When death comes unexpectedly the lives of loved ones are torn apart until the healing slowly begins.

A Special Blend of You and Me by germankitty ( T | 4,539 words )

Draco finds a bunch of letters in Professor Snape's effects that were written by Lily Evans to her best friend at school, Marlene McKinnon. He passes them on to Harry, who consequently starts his own correspondence with Draco.

A Hot Cross Bundle Of Draco Malfoy by @gingertodgers​ ( T | 3,130 words )

Harry and Draco stopped doing whatever it was they were doing months ago. It's over and it hurts but it's fine because Luna has invited Harry over for tea and hot cross buns. Pity she forgot to tell him who her new housemate is...

At the Leaky Cauldron on a Friday night by @awesomedig​ ( G | Art )

and if some dim bulb should say | we were in love in some way

How To Catch A Weasley (And Maybe A Potter, Too) by @bixgirl1​ ( R | 7,606 words )

In which Pansy has a crush and needs Draco's help, Draco has a crush but staunchly refuses to admit it, Potter might have a crush, but is as infuriating as always, and no one knows what the hell Wealsey is thinking--likely not even himself.

The Shape of the World Is the Shape of You In It by @penmaries​ ( T | 3,093 words )

He has dreams, and they are only small parts of a world he probably knows.

Bite Your Tongue by @snowgall​ ( R |  405 words )

How hard can it be to cast a silencing charm?

If We Only Had A Rubber Duck by @snowingalway ( T | Art )

Draco and Harry share a bath on the orders of Madam Pomfrey. Draco's a bit more pleased about it than Harry is :)

Sinking Under by darkravenwrote ( R | 1,046 words )

This is Draco's point of view from some of ustorycollector's Stutter, in which Draco doesn't think he's good enough, while Harry wants more than just benefits.

Mending (in the Mountains, with Monkeys) by khlaulu ( G | 3,322 words )

Well along on the road to healing, Harry and Draco do some sight-seeing in Sichuan, amidst the monks and monkeys.

[mvssmallow]

Cloudy With A Chance

Part 4: …of 150 million suns.

Masterlist

Hanbin hates driving. He hates the stop-start motion. He hates how many tasks he’s expected to do. He hates that, no matter how cautious he is, all it takes is one reckless idiot to cause a crash. Most of all, he hates how anxious driving makes him.

But.

He loves being a passenger. He loves how the soothing and repetitive hum of the engine lulls him to sleep. He loves how he can just stare out the window and watch the world roll by without having to think of gear shifts and mirror-signal-manoeuvres. He loves the calm but sometimes he wants to feel the aggressive power of all cylinders firing and the way the engine growls into life around him.

Right now though, he just loves watching Jiwon drive.

They’re in The Beast, Jiwon’s secondhand black M3, and cruising down the freeway out of the city.

Everything about the way Jiwon drives is different. His left hand at ease on the wheel, his right hand tight with a roadmap of veins when he’s shifting gears but all smooth skin when he’s not. His body casually and comfortably planted in his seat. The way all his movements seem second nature, like the car is merely an obedient mechanical extension of his will and intent. The way there’s no doubting who is really in control.

Hanbin would feel envious if not for the fact that he just finds it a frighteningly attractive skill to have. Maybe because he knows he doesn’t have it. He still drives slow enough to drive Miss Daisy: bolt upright, tense and frighteningly unattractive.

Jiwon fiddles with the stereo system as they wait at the lights. The last strains of Run DMC thumps out through the Beast’s sub woofers before abruptly cutting to an old Dusty Springfield song that Hanbin hasn’t heard in years. Grimacing, Jiwon presses the skip button repeatedly, the music cutting from Dr. Dre to Michael Jackson to The Rolling Stones.

Hanbin looks over at him. “You okay there?”

Jiwon grunts and continues to skip through 3 more songs until the lights turn green and his finger relunctantly leaves the stereo, allowing Lupe Fiasco to finish his opening rhymes.

“Want me to pick something?” He meant to be helpful but Jiwon scoffs.

“You’re a nice guy Hanbin but if you ride the Beast you gotta stick to the rules. And the first rule is: driver picks the tunes, shotgun keeps his hands off the stereo.”

Hanbin rolls his eyes so hard that it vaguely hurts. “Oh okay. Didn’t know I was in Fight Club. Well, I guess you don’t want to hear the remix I made last night then.”

The Beast crawls to a stop at another red light. Jiwon is silent with a tense jaw for a moment before turning to Hanbin with a serious expression, “Okay. One song.”

Hanbin nods with his best serious face and tries not to laugh. “One song. Okay.”

He plugs his phone into the stereo system and turns on the playlist that took him 3 hours to make the night before. His remix of Kayne and The XX soon fills the small space and they both nod along in unison when the back beat kicks in. Jiwon looks over with a raised eyebrow, “You did this? It’s pretty good actually.”

Hanbin smirks. “Thanks for the tone of surprise. You should stop spoiling me with all these compliments.”

“I said it was good! What more do you want? Geez.”

Hanbin smiles and turns to look out the window. His playlist beats on as he watches the sky change from baby blue to indigo to black. The scenery changing from buildings and pavements to hills and trees. They eventually leave behind the haze of city lights as Jiwon steers the growling Beast up the windy path to the city’s look out point.

It’s only later, when the engine stops humming, that Hanbin realises he fell asleep. He can hear ‘The Lonely Shepherd’ playing in the background and there’s a soft grey hoody tucked around him like a blanket. When he buries his face in it, it smells like a woody-citrus cologne, generic laundry detergent and sweat. There’s something else that Hanbin can’t articulate, even with his extensive vocabulary. Something familiar but inexplicable.

The pessimistic corner of his heart warns him not to get poetic but truthfully, he’s not interested in knowing or trying to figure everything out. Not right now. The Universe is unsolvable and unknowable and that’s what makes it magic. Maybe it’s the same with Jiwon.

“Hey, you awake?”

Hanbin turns to the direction of the deep voice. The lethargic fog of sleep begins to dissipate, only to be replaced by the comforting glow of contentment. It’s the type that starts underground and spreads like a fever, hitting him unexpectedly and warming him from the inside out. “Yeah. That was a good drive.”

Jiwon lets out an amused chuckle. “Was it now? You know that you were unconscious for 90% of it right?”

Hanbin snuggles further into Jiwon’s hoody and stifles a yawn. “It was a good drive though. I know these things.”

Jiwon leans forward and peers at him through narrowed eyes. “Are you high?”

Hanbin groans and buries his face back in the hoody. “Shut up. I’m still sleepy ok?!”

He feels Jiwon’s hand grabbing the fabric to pull it away. He fights it out of principle but Jiwon easily wins and drags the hoody down to expose his embarrassed face with a victorious laugh.

He knows the static is messing his already messy hair and waits for Jiwon to joke about it but he doesn’t.

There’s an unreadable expression on Jiwon’s face. Hanbin hasn’t catalogued them all yet and while he’d like to think he’s pretty good at reading people, he’s got nothing but a question mark on a blank page this time.

The silence stretches out to the point where it starts tensing up Jiwon’s jaw and itching at Hanbin’s skin. So he does what he always does in these situations. “Did you know that the Andromeda Galaxy is like 150 million times the mass of the sun?”

Confusion flits across Jiwon’s face before he bursts out into laughter. The tense lines of his shoulders relaxes and set of his jaw melts away. He rolls his eyes dramatically. “Well, yeah. Everybody knows that, Hamster. Tell me something I don’t know.”

“Firstly, I refuse that nickname. Secondly, you did not know that. Thirdly, Andromeda’s heart is literally a black hole. If you tell me you already knew that, I’m going to hit you.”

Jiwon just snorts and reaches over to ruffle his hair. “Man, you are high.”

Hanbin sinks further into his chair with a huff that he really doesn’t mean and stares out the car window. The sky is clear and since they’re so far from the city, there’s not much light pollution obstructing the stars. He finds Orion first. Then a small but bright smudge to its left.

He sits forward and touches Jiwon’s arm. “Hey, there you are.”

“Huh? I’m where?”Jiwon follows his line of vision as he points out the constellations through the front window. “What am I supposed to be looking at?”

“Your galaxy. See those three bigger dots in a line?”

Jiwon hums. “The ones going downwards?”

“Yeah. That’s Orion’s Belt.”

“I’m a belt? Out of all the galaxies, you gave me a belt?”

Hanbin bumps his shoulder and tsks. “No! I haven’t finished. If you look a bit left there’s a bright smudgey thing. See it?”

Jiwon narrows his eyes. “All I see my registration sticker?”

“Get out of the car. I’ll show you.”

He holds out Jiwon’s grey hoody but his hand is pushed away dismissively. “Take it, you’re gonna get cold.”

He starts to protest but his visible shiver loses the argument for him. Jiwon gives him one of his lopsided grins as he pulls the hoody over his head. “Aren’t you gonna get cold then?”

“Nope.” Jiwon disappears into the back seat and emerges holding a blanket. “Got this. Just in case.” They sit on the bonnet of the Beast with their backs to the windshield. Jiwon wraps the blanket around them and tells him to find his galaxy again.

The proximity and warmth simultaneously makes Hanbin feel overwhelmingly safe and just a shade jittery. “Okay, you found Orion already. So if you go a little left to where my pointer finger is….there’s a bright smudgey thing.”

Jiwon leans further into his space and squints. “Okay…..what about it?”

Hanbin takes a breath. “That’s Andromeda! It’s like the biggest galaxy next to us! It’s probably the most massive thing in space that we know about and has like a trillion stars. A trillion Jiwon. Do you even know how many that is? It’s a lot. Anyway, right in the middle of it there’s this giant radio source that they think is a supermassive black hole, which is kinda funny because you’re so useless at controlling your own radio.”

He’s rambling and it makes his voice come out all high-pitched. “But honestly, it is the most awesome galaxy out there.”

It’s too dark for him to see Jiwon’s face but he can hear him breathing and feel his body heat through their winter clothes.

“So…I’m Andromeda?” Jiwon asks, unconvinced.

“Yep.” Hanbin nods and doesn’t elaborate. He hopes Jiwon doesn’t ask again because he’d have to lie and they both know he’s rubbish at lying.

There’s an anxious pause before he feels Jiwon shrugging. “Okay.” He says simply. “Which one are you then?”

“Oh….I don’t know.” Hanbin doesn’t think anyone has lasted this long in an astronomy conversation with him before, let alone assigned him a galaxy.

“Okay. You’re this one then.” Jiwon states with a firm nod.

“Which one?”

“This one. Our galaxy.”

“The Milky Way?”

“Yeah.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re boring on the outside, soft on the inside and the shops sometimes have you on sale.”

Hanbin reaches over to punch him on the arm. Jiwon pretends it hurts.

“Hey. Isn’t Andromeda a girl?”

“Yeah. A Greek princess. Andromeda means ruler of men.”

“Does it?” Jiwon chuckles brightly. “Okay, you’re right. Me and my galaxy are awesome.”

“Yeah.”

You are.