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csykora · 4 years ago

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hockey, a primer

Hockey is a quick game to start watching. Fundamentally there’s a goalie guarding the net, two defensive players guarding the goalie, and three offensive forwards attacking the other team’s net.

Unlike normal sports, hockey players break the rules a lot. Common infractions include smacking another player with your stick, pretending they smacked you with their stick, poking them in the dick with your stick when you are not on the ice, licking them (yes we need this rule) and tripping them. This happens every couple minutes, and the player is punished by having to sit alone for a couple minutes while the teams continue to play with an uneven number of players.

This is called the man advantage, powerplay, or, regrettably, the PP for the team who didn’t do a crime, and the penalty kill for the guilty team. There aren’t a lot of set plays compared to something like football, and what strategy there is in the game depends on this. Listen closely and you will hear someone’s dad already screaming more information about special teams into your ear.

You do not need to know the names of the formations used in special teams. Just watch how the puck gets from one person to the next, or how it doesn’t, and you will start to see the important things.

Rosters

Each forward line has two wingers, who are expected to skate fast up and down the sides of the ice and take the most shots, and the center, who manages the middle, passing the puck between the others and directing them into the right series of positions so the puck can be bounced to where it needs to go: they’re the brains of the operation (with the goalie also using their unique view of the full rink to direct play by banging their stick and swearing at the players in front of them).

Sometimes multiple players who usually play the center position are put out at the same time, with some of them taking up the wing position. This strategy is called a ‘two-’ or ‘three-headed monster’ in the NHL, because a ‘natural center’ is thought to be a smarter strategy player.

Defense is organized in pairs, so one person takes each side. Compared to forwards who mostly skate...you know...defenders have to be able to skate equally well going forwards and backwards, which requires a different skating stride. Their main goal is to isolate and disrupt the other team’s forwards, by positioning their bodies in the ‘passing lane’ between two opposing players so they can’t pass to each other or in the shooting lane in front of a player so they can’t shoot, or by knocking the opponent out of position.

Often you’ll see one defender will tend to “stay at home” guarding the net while the other swings out wide or follows the forwards into the other team’s zone as a second wave of offense.

A team has enough to make three pairs of D and four lines of forwards, which are numbered. Flashy stars are expected to be in line 1 and 2 (the ‘top’), workmen in 3 and 4 (the ‘bottom six’), and by tradition the 4th line in particular are your rowdy boys who lay the most hits and start fights. Everyone knows those ranks are kind of imaginary, but players getting moved up or down the hierarchy gives us Drama. Hockey players mate for life, and usually play with the same D-partner or linemates, but they can also be swapped around into different combinations when the coach sees fit.

Structure

The NHL plays a bonkers number of games. Most years, the hockey season starts in the fall and grinds with games every other day or so through the winter until the players are all dehydrated and exhausted, at which point the playoffs start. The Stanley Cup playoffs are four rounds of best-of-seven elimination series, and it’s often described as the most intense championship in sports. This year, we’ve just wrapped up made-up qualifiers to pick the teams that will start the first round of the playoffs tomorrow.

Please follow a smarter blog than me for current updates on the North American women’s leagues. I am going to refer to the North American women’s game, but I’m not the best source on it.

The KHL and ZhWL play a slightly less bonkers number of games, but make up for it by being weird as shit and incorporate live music, even live-er pyrotechnics, and swords. You can buy access to games for about a cup of coffee.

The EIHL is in Britain, and I don’t know when they play but they do, so if you’re one of the British people who ask me this question, good luck

North America vs The World

International hockey is played on a larger and wider rink than North American hockey. More space means that passing accurately and skating efficiently become more important, and it’s statistically less likely that players will bump into each other, so hitting is less important than in North American men’s hockey. The greater width means that wingers in the Continental Hockey League (KHL) and other national leagues are expected to control a decent chunk of open ice, not just the lane along the boards, so they’re more like North American centers, running the “three-headed monster” play all the time.

When men’s Team Canada plays on international ice, they’re able to fill their roster with centers, bridging the two styles.

Overpassing

Overpassing is a buzzword used to critique both women’s hockey players and Russian men’s hockey players. In North American men’s hockey, there’s a principle that the person who carries the puck into the attacking zone should be the one to shoot it, or make at most one pass: passing back and forth in the offensive zone ‘wastes time’ and increases the risk that the defenders will intercept one of those passes and take possession.

But this is something Russian men’s players are actually taught to do. They are expected to be more accurate passers, so the risk of the pass being intercepted should be low anyway. Shooting is almost guaranteed to give up possession, after which the other team will have a chance to shoot and score on you…so why not keep passing it around we either have a perfect opening or we run down the clock?

Women’s hockey players are similarly good enough skaters (young girls often come into the sport with figure skating experience and they all receive a high level of skate training) and passers that they can hold possession. They are trained to be very aware of how their teammates are positioned, and so they will pass more in the zone.

Think of it like this: North American men think, “I gotta shoot the puck to score goals before the other guy smashes me and takes it and scores goals with it!”, women think, “I’ve got a 50/50 chance if I shoot, but my girl over there is 100%” and Russian men think, “Aw, you want this puck? You wanna shoot it and score goals with it? Okay…catch me first.”

More on culture

Equipment

Skates

Skates have a firm boot and a blade which has two sharp edges with a hollow in between. They do not have toe picks, so skaters have to use a two-foot parallel stop or “hockey stop”

Hockey stops send up a cloud of snow so they’re a great way to be a dick to your teammates, and they make a swoosh swoosh SWOOSH sound that’s just great.

You will be able to see who is a great skater, trust your eye. There are lots of different ways to be a great skater that you can start to appreciate. Some people are fast on the straightaways, some people can pick up speed more quickly over short distances, some are more mobile with lots of fine turns, some have endurance.

Sticks

Hockey sticks are made of different materials with different levels of whippiness. They have a shaft, which is cut to measure from the ground to somewhere between your chin and your eyebrows. Forwards tend to go shorter for control, defensemen longer for reach. No player is allowed to carry a stick over 63” unless they have a height exemption, which is why Colton Parayko has to carry a Certified Big Boy card and his own teammate once got a penalty for coping a feel of his stick. The blade curves forward away from you as you hold it, and the blade and top of the shaft are wrapped with slightly grippy tape. Some people care a lot about tape.

Your dominant hand usually goes at the top of your stick to control it, with your non-dominant hand on the shaft providing the power for most shots. Your hockey-handedness is named after the side of your body the blade stick is on: if you are right-handed, your right hand is on top, left hand is on the shaft, and you have a left-handed shot.

That makes for a lot more natural left shooters than natural right shooters. Because you have the wall on one side and passes coming from another, it’s in some ways difficult for a left shooter to play on the right side of the ice. That means that the people who do have to play their “off wing” learn to switch how they hold their stick and will usually be very good at it, and can surprise the other team in certain ways, but there are strategic advantages to natural handedness, especially on defense. Coaches fantasize about having three pairs of perfectly matched right- and left-side defensemen, so right-shooting/left-handed d-men are hot shit.

The whippiness or stiffness of your stick helps you with your choice of less powerful, more accurate wristshots (which make the pretty ting! sound off the goalposts), medium one-timers and snapshots, preferred by forwards, or the big booming slapshots that defensemen use when they don’t much care for whoever’s between them and the other team’s goalie.

Pads

If you are going to shout an opinion about injuries, hits, fights, concussions, exemptions for young or small players, etc, please, you need to understand pads. This shit matters.

Hockey pads for skaters cover the lower legs and wrap from the shoulders across the upper chest and down the arms. This is why certain plays are held to be more or less dangerous than you might instinctively think. (More on weird injuries: here and here)

There are chinks in the armor at the knee/calf, wrist, and none at all on their belly, so a slash to the wrists or a blow/blade coming anywhere near someone’s stomach is very different than one landing elsewhere. The modern skate boot is also very stiff and ‘locks’ your foot in a certain position relative to your leg, so trips and falls can easily lead to foot injuries. Slashing, tripping, and especially kicking have a really good chance of hurting someone, which is why they are treated that way even if by good luck no one was hurt this time.

Pads are soft-cap or hard-cap: soft-cap is a thick layer of padding, hard-cap is a literal hard plastic shell armor. Hard-cap pads are illegal at major junior levels of competition and in rec leagues, because you can’t really feel through them: if you’re wearing soft pads and lay a hit on someone, you’ll both feel it, so there’s an upper limit on how much force you want to hit them with, but in hard pads you can smash someone into oblivion without hurting yourself. This is the same reason why you drop gloves before fighting: hitting someone with an armored glove on hurts you less but lets you hurt them more.

Concussions are a type of traumatic brain injury when a large force moves through the head and neck, causing the brain to slosh around in the skull. It is not just caused by direct blows to the head, but by intense movement of the head when the body is hit elsewhere. Men’s hockey is a leading sport for concussions in men, and women’s hockey is a or the leading cause of concussions in women. This is a problem, because concussions are bad. This is not just because fighting is allowed in men’s hockey, but because of the forces and collisions in both games.

Statistically, an individual NHL player lays hundreds of hits per season, and fights between zero and a dozen times. Across the league there might be about a hundred hits in each game, and there’s a fight about every other game. Each fight lasts about 6 seconds and involves about a dozen shots. So while fighting is not safe, about 60% of concussions are linked to the much more common shoulder and head hits.

I deeply, dearly do not care if you do or don’t like fights. It is fine. You do you. But if you say banning fights would cure concussions while ignoring the role of hits, I will hunt you down and smack your phone out of your hands with a foam roller.

Jerseys Because they’re standing on ice, which is slippy, players grab each other’s jersey sleeves or collars during fights to hold them in range and punch with the other hand. In the past, players would not only drop their gloves before a fight but try to strip their sweaters off as well: if you were totally topless, he wouldn’t have a handhold and wouldn’t be able to hit you effectively. Now, jerseys are hooked to hockey pants with an elastic “fight strap” to stop the stripping.

Also they’re fun to fuck with.

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Hockey socks are actually two pieces: a normal sock that goes on your foot and in your skate and then a tube with no foot in team colors that you pull on over it. Some NHL players do not wear the sock in their skate. I’m not going to name names, but I feel very, very comfortable saying that it is only the men that do this.

Note: OMGCP is not a depiction of athletic practice, injuries and safety, or Northern North American communities/culture (much less Russian). I desperately do not care if you like it as what it is, but the plays that are presented as normal and the mechanisms of injury shown are not accurate, and might be dangerous to apply to real injuries. Please do not base your opinions of rule calls or injuries that affect the safety of real people on it.

Bonus facts:

Hockey is a sweaty, sweaty game. However much you are imagining: it’s more. Skaters lose an average of 1.5 liters of fluid in a game, and some lose 2 to 3 liters. Goalies lose about 3 liters every practice. Braden Holtby specifically sweats off 9 pounds. This is why you see them chewing bubblegum during the game, and why rubbing a glove on someone’s face is a playful (or not) insult

Athletes don’t eat pop “health food”. They do not eat salads every meal. Hockey players today are typically on protein-heavy diets during the summer and early season to put on weight (both muscle and fat, which plays an important role in hydration and metabolism!), then switch to carbohydrate-heavy diets to make up for the amount of energy they burn in the later part of the season. Many are on “low sugar” diets because…well, that was pop science in the era that their coaches trained in, but many are not. Exercise anorexia and overtraining are increasingly epidemic in the sport because of the focus on body fat and form that is institutionalized in many programs. More on body fat here: X

“Indian head” logos commemorate the practice of white settlers trading the severed heads or body parts of Native Americans for cash. This is bad. Support Indigenous and First Nations fans in changing the name.

#long post

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hopeaterart · 3 years ago

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RWBY HPTR AU: Timeline

More of my embarrassingly self-indulgent AU. It tackles the timeline of events happening before the show starts. For those for who it's the first time here: most of the antagonists in the show are students at Beacon here, hence why the 63 A.G.W. point is probably a bit confusing, as well as the presence of many, many OCs. Warning: Very Ozpin-centric, especially at the beginning, because I'm insane and constructed a whole backstory for this man. If you want me to add something to the timeline, or have questions about the AU, just ask. ^^

(REFERENCE: A.G.W. stands for After Great War.)

34 A.G.W.: Ozborn Pinhead is born to con-artists living in the mountains of Vale.

45 A.G.W.: King Ozymandias Valenoa dies. On a side-note, Aura Lycoris is born.

46 A.G.W.: Ozymandias/Ozma reincarnates into Ozborn the moment he hits puberty. A few months later, Ozborn runs away from home to join a Collibet Monastery.

(REFERENCE: Collibet is branch of religion in the world of Remnant. It's followers' main belief is that life is to be enjoyed to it's fullest, and they have to help people enjoy it. Their worship is mainly centered on the God of Light.)

51 A.G.W.: Ozborn decides to enroll in Beacon for multiple reasons. He's placed in Team DSOO with Cadmium Duat, Zephyr Olympia, and Jade Sheng. He will become very close to Jade, almost like siblings. She's the one who coins the Ozpin nickname.

52 A.G.W.: Vytal festival happens in Haven. Ozborn ends up being finalist instead of his teammate through circumstances that went against his will, and ends up befriending fellow finalist from Shade Theodore Yellowstone, as well as a Faunus competitor from Haven called Leonardo Lionheart. Theodore is the winner.

53 A.G.W.: During a training mission that brought them to Solitas, Team DSOO ends up working with James Ironwood. Even if difficult to work with, Ozborn forms a tentative friendship with him, which they'll maintain through CCT communications. Ozborn also accidently ends up mentoring a first year named Glynda Goodwitch.

54 A.G.W.: Team STRQ enrolls in Beacon. Ozborn ends up being their mentor (intentionally this time) through a mentorship program at Beacon. Summer Rose is the winner of the Vytal Festival, having beaten Ironwood. After warning them that the truth isn't pretty, Ozborn comes clean about his cycle of reincarnation to Jade, STRQ, Glynda, Theodore, Lionheart and Ironwood, as well as Salem and her immortality. The only one unwilling to get involved is Taiyang Xiao Long, who can see that Ozborn absolutely does not want to be in this situation, thinks he's in way over his head and probably needs to take some distance from Huntsman business. Qrow and Raven are given their bird powers.

55 A.G.W.: Having taken Taiyang's opinion on the situation to heart, Ozborn decides to take a step back and go back in the Monastery he grew up in in order to become a Priest. Jade joins him in a show of support.

57 A.G.W.: Ozborn gets ordained, and he and Jade promptly go on a pilgrimage together with one very clear objective in mind: fuck Salem over. They find her at the end of the year, successfully lie to Salem about Ozborn's identity and fool her into thinking they want to join her side. On a side note, Gretchen Reinhart, Hazel Reinhart and Winter Schnee are all born.

58 A.G.W.: After getting out of Salem the secret to her immortality and the location of the God of Light's pool/former residence, Ozborn and Jade run away in the night in order for Ozborn to get similar immortality. Salem finds out about the betrayal, successfully kills Jade before Ozborn can go in the pool, and permanently cripples him with a magical attack that destroys his leg in a way that the pool's magic isn't able to completely fix. Ozborn still obtains immortality, permanently changing the game. He also sheds away the identity of Ozborn Pinhead, and renames himself after Jade's nickname for him.

59 A.G.W.: Ozpin comes back, and marries Taiyang, Raven Branwen and Summer Rose together. He also enrolls in Beacon as the Myth & Religion teacher.

60 A.G.W.: Desperate to get back at Ozpin after such an humiliating defeat, Salem takes a teenage Aura Lycoris under her wing.

62 A.G.W.: Aura starts the deep-undercover operation of gaining Ozpin's trust, starting by enrolling into Beacon.

63 A.G.W.: Yang Xiao Long, Weiss Schnee, Blake Belladona, Jaune Arc, Pyrrha Nikos, Nora Valkyrie, Lie Ren, Arthur Watts, Tyrian Callows, Cinder Fall, Mercury Black, Emerald Sustrai, Roman Brunswick, Trivia Vanille, Ochre Wedjat, Raoul Arsenic, Wilhemia Key and Lys Rosenbed are all born. On a side-note, Ozpin and Qrow start a tentative romantic relationship at the end of the year.

65 A.G.W.: Ruby Rose is born.

66 A.G.W.: Aura graduates, and goes on a small pause in her mission in order to clean up some loose ends on Salem's part.

67 A.G.W.: Summer dies on a mission gone wrong (Unless/until we get something specific, Aura's partially responsible in my AU). Overwhelmed and disillusioned by the demise of the woman she loved, Raven abandons the rest of her family and goes back to the Branwen tribe. Both Taiyang and Qrow are left broken by this series of events, and Qrow ends up falling to alcoholism, leaving Ozpin to pick up the broken pieces of the inner circle. On a side note, both Oscar Pine and Whitley Schnee are born.

68 A.G.W.: Following a convoluted series of events that leaves Oscar orphaned for a total of maybe an hour before Ozpin adopts him, the wizard finally starts getting his shit back together, and starts formulating a plan to get back on his feet properly. On a side-note, Marcus Black steals his son's- Mercury- Semblance.

69 A.G.W.: Ozpin successfully becomes Beacon's headmaster, and promptly pulls strings to put Theodore, Lionheart and Ironwood in the same positions in their respective kingdoms. He also makes Glynda into his successor to the position. Meanwhile, Aura joins his staff as the Study Hall teacher/supervisor. Kuroyuri is destroyed by the Nuckelavee, orphaning Lie Ren and Nora Valkyrie.

72 A.G.W.: Mountain Glenn is destroyed. Ozpin is able to save a few people at the last minute, including the Reinhart twins, thus inspiring Gretchen to become a Huntress. On a side note, James Ironwood becomes General, and thus Atlas' Chief of Armies, and gains a second seat on the Atlesian Council. The rest of the inner circle has mixed feelings about this, mostly negative.

73 A.G.W.: After a very long time of frustration at the Atlesian Council, Hagatha Greene snaps after a combination of her project being denied in favor of Pietro's, and being forced to work with an actual child (10 years old Arthur Watts). She's approached by Salem via Aura, and fakes her death. On a side note, the Brunswick farm is invaded by Apathy, forcing Roman to run away. He'll later stow himself away to Vale and rename himself Torchwick in order to cut ties with his past.

74 A.G.W.: Lionheart is forced to inform the Spring Maiden about what Salem can do. Overwhelmed, she runs away to the Branwen tribe. Lionheart himself latter approached by Greene, who more-or-less blackmails him into joining Salem. He calls Ozpin to know what he's supposed to do, and ends up becoming a double-agent. On a side-note, Gretchen signs up for Beacon, and Winter for Atlas in her first step to distance herself from her family.

76 A.G.W.: Gretchen is severely wounded on a training mission. Since her body was never found, it was assumed she died. Despite knowing that he'd probably be attacked on sight- and he was- Ozpin is able to provide Hazel with a bit of peace concerning the demise of his sister. Unknown to the both of them, Gretchen was actually found by Salem's circle and brought to her in order to get a new underling. On a side-note, the Spring Maiden dies and passes the power to Raven.

77 A.G.W.: Cinder and Arthur meet off-handedly while running away from Atlas for different reasons (Cinder is running from the Madame, Arthur from the military) due to sneaking on the same cargo ship. They separate after. Cinder ends up staying in Mistral, while Arthur wanders around Anima and ends up meeting Tyrian, who's part of a circus. Tyrian ends up following Arthur, who intends on getting to Vale as fast as possible. The two end up becoming fast friends after some initial frostiness. Trivia also runs away from home and meets Roman, and renames herself Neopolitan after the imaginary friend she had in her childhood.

78 A.G.W.: Cinder meets Emerald in the streets of Mistral, and the two bond over their dreams of becoming Huntresses. After Cinders remembers something Arthur told her about Beacon having a program for students like them, the two girls set off for Beacon.

79 A.G.W.: Marcus is hired to assassinate Ozpin, and fails in this task. Some time after, Cinder and Emerald, who recently got to Vale, cross path with Mercury, who's running away from his abusive father after a savage fight with him due to the man cutting off his legs. Marcus joins Salem after.

(AMBIGUOUS TIME PERIOD: Somewhere in the 70s, Aura found and started forming all the members of Team ORKL. I don't have a precise time period, but for those curious, the order she found them in was: Raoul, Lys, Ochre and Whilemia.)

80 A.G.W.: The story starts.

#rwby #rwby au #hptr au #timeline #worldbuilding #i am not tagging all the characters in this.#my au is basically half 'what if the villains were friends with the heroes' and half #salem: there is nothing ozma can do that I won't see coming #ozpin: VIBE CHECK *becomes immortal*

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extremelyblackandwhite · 4 years ago

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handmaid - 26

PAIRING: mob!sebastian stan x ingenue!reader

WARNINGS: age gap, mention of weapons and gunshots

A/N: will i ever write a chapter without a musical reference? no as i literally cannot help myself.

NEXT CHAPTER

The night was like a warm blanket tonight yet the world somehow seemed wider, brighter as she laid against his chest, hearing his heart softly beating against his ribcage. The sound itself sent her in a spiral of her own mind, the sound itself proved he was alive, he was real and he was there. Laying down next to him was just the right thing to do despite it being at the same time the wrongest of all wrong things. Sure, this was the man Gwen had been promised to ever since she was born but at the same time whenever she was next to him he seemed like a completely different person than the mythical mob boss her mind had fabricated over the years. When she was next to him he was her lover and at the end of the day that was what overwhelmed her overall perception.

- What are you thinking about? - Sebastian slightly raised his head with precaution as to not disturb her. - You’re very quiet.

- Just basking in the feeling. - she looked up to him without really moving the rest of her body, hand remaining in its imaginary circle drawing. - We should probably return to doing what we were doing.

- I think there’s more boxes in the garage. - he sat up, arms wrapped around her figure so she didn’t fall off his lap and landed on the ground. If it was up to him, he would remain in that position for another hour with his nose buried in her hair smelling the scent of her fragrance mixed with her shampoo. - Maybe there’s something there.

- You don’t need to do this for me. - she pushed her hair to the side, cocking her head slightly as her hand searched the ground for her jumper which was colder than she would like due to the winter weather just outside. - I know you probably have your own business to take care of.

- I’m a good multitasker, my angel. - he kissed her naked shoulder before she slide her jumper on, shivering at the contact of her warm skin with the cold fabric. Y/N gave him a playful smile followed by a roll of the eyes before getting up, picking up his garments in the process and throwing them at him.

Smiling like a fool who just won the lottery, and in a certain way he sort of had, he got dressed up in the wrinkled clothes and wrapped his arm around her natural waist before leading her out of his office and into the life to the garage. If there was a room in the house that was always, if not ever since its construction, in chaos, it was the garage. Whatever he didn’t want in his home anymore or anything for which he didn’t have space, he would send it down to the garage which meant the room was filled to the brim with boxes and boxes along with some record books and more contracts, most likely belonging to his father as Sebastian prided himself in keeping an electronic copy of all his contracts, just in case. Y/N couldn’t help herself but sneeze at the amount of dust that had gathered over the years as she grabbed one of the boxes. Surely he had enough money to hire someone to clean it, however it seemed to always escape his mind.

Sebastian took the other side of the box created walls while Y/N started to go through the first box which weirdly was filled with clothes, children’s clothes. She cocked an eyebrow in confusion, but continued to go through the box’s contents, carefully putting the clothing off the box by her side until she reached a silver picture frame of a woman holding a baby whose gaze was somewhere else. She smiled at the warm nature of the photo which looked to have been snapped unknowingly. Her fingers traced the contours of the photo as she wondered who the two individuals were until she felt Sebastian’s hand on her shoulder.

- That’s my mother. - he pointed at the woman in the photo. - And that’s me.

- Why is this photo here? - she asked, turning her head to stare at him. Y/N knew Sebastian clearly had a soft spot for his mother as he spoke of her like any kid spoke of their parents, something that didn’t seem to occur whenever he mentioned his father whose relationship seemed to be more apprentice-master than father and son.

- In all honesty, I didn’t even remember it was down here. My father got rid of most stuff related to my mother after the divorce. - his hand left her shoulder as he took a seat next to her.

- You’ve never spoke to me about your mother. At least not a lot. - it was in her nature to be curious, she found the most she knew about people, the best she could connect and help them out. Sebastian normally would’ve taken curiosity at harsh value but whenever she asked him something, he couldn’t help but feel wrapped around her kind nature.

- Well, they got divorced when I was 6 or 7. Bad divorce, my mother didn’t have enough money to get a legal team so my father got everything, including me. One visit a year ... she ended up dying when I was 14.

- I’m so sorry, Seb. - she wrapped her arms around him, kissing his temple, trying to console him the best way she could. Sebastian however had closed that wound a long time ago and instead looked inside the box she was looking at, recognising most of the items as childhood belongings. With a curious look in her eyes, his hand rummaged through the box’s belongings taking an old teared by time stuffed bunny which gained Y/N’s attention. - What’s that?

- Oreo. - he said nonchalantly.

- Oreo? - she giggled. - It has a name? You don’t mean to tell me that the mob boss had a stuffed animal named Oreo.

- Mob bosses aren’t born mob bosses. - he put the stuffed animal back in the box. - I thought one of my kids might want it someday but if they’re anything like Gwen, I think they won’t want something this old.

- Right. - she swallowed her worries which kept telling her that she would never be the one to bore him a child. Mr. Williams words rang inside her mind like terrifying echoes. Mistress. Mistresses don’t get happy endings. - Well, you have good taste, Oreo is a great name.

- Good taste ... - his eyes seemed to rewind to a past time, leaving Y/N to look at him weirdly as he jumped on his feet to walk to a little shelf filled with books which turned to be photo albums. Looking through several pages in second-like intervals, he finally stopped in the middle of the album, a smile on his face as his memories proved right. Quickly moving towards the young handmaiden, placing the book in her lap. Her eyes glued to the photo which was of a round table filled with mostly men and little to no women, however, a specific woman stood out in the middle of everyone, a kind smile contrasting with the tight lipped smirks of the rest of the crowd. Around her neck a golden necklace just like the one which was wrapped around the young handmaiden’s neck. - I knew I remembered the name Robin.

- What happened to her? - Sebastian sadly couldn’t answer this question as he was rather young and most of the times forbidden to even be close to any of his father’s parties or dinners. Y/N flipped through the pages noticing she showed up in a few more pictures before completely disappearing. - She seems to stop appearing.

- Whoever she was, she was no mere worker. My father had a rather elitist taste when it came to who got to attend his dinners and parties. - the theory that her parents didn’t want her screamed at her again. At that point, it just sounded like the most plausible theory. Noticing this shift his attitude, Sebastian closed the photo album, putting it away from her. - You don’t need to keep going, angel. You turned out just fine without them.

- I know. - she forced a smile, trying to see if she could fool Sebastian but he was much too familiar with her characteristics to be easily fooled. Sighing, Sebastian took her hands in his, slowly yet surely getting her on her feet.

- I think that’s enough detective work for today. - he leaned down, pecking her lips two times, a smile on his face. Y/N nodded, thinking it would be best if she didn’t dig in the past and together they returned to the lift which took them back to the penthouse. The lift doors slowly open and Y/N noticed her suitcase standing slightly to the side of the lift. She didn’t think much of it knowing Sebastian to be a man who had man for everything so he had probably gotten someone to grab it earlier than mentioned. Even with that, she felt a somber heavy vibe in the air as she located her suitcase, something that seemed to push her down, like a weight. - Your suitcase is here.

- Oh ... I guess I should just unpack. - his words took her from the glued, almost hypnotic glare at her own bag. Sebastian shrugged, letting her do her own thing, only offering his help to help her move the suitcase into her bedroom to which she declined.

Her intuition was telling her to be careful and as such, she closed the door behind her immediately opening her suitcase. There was nothing odd about it, mostly filled with the clothes she had brought to the Forrest along with other objects and personal belongings. Still there was a heavy weight which seemed to grow heavier and heavier as she folded her clothes and put them back in her wardrobe which hit a climax as she noticed a piece of white like fabric right at the bottom of her suitcase. She took a step back however her hand leaned forward, her fingers lightly tracing the fabric as if the fabric itself were a bomb.

The fabric itself didn’t feel worn out and as she raised it into the air so she could inspect it better. It was an old fabric which at his prime was white but had started to grow slightly yellowish with the passage of time, the material of cashmere itself however still had the same comfort of a new one, almost as if it had never been worn. However, the most notable feature of the blanket was the cursive embroidery spelling Ella next to the silhouette of a robin. Without much thought to it, she brought the blanket up to her nose, inhaling what was reminiscent of fresh rosemaries on a hot summer day spent in a garden. Then out of the sudden, just as her nose sensed the scent of the blanket, a loud gunshot sound seemed to reverberate from the back of her skull to the front. She let out a scared scream, dropping the blanket on the floor as if the fabric was burning her hands. Her eyes scanned the room, looking paranoiacally for where the gunshot could’ve come for but there was nothing in her bedroom, there was no one in her bedroom. That was until Sebastian broke into her bedroom, black revolver set in the air to which she immediately put her hands up, noticing there were few tears rolling down her cheeks and meeting at her chin. Sebastian lowered his gun, after inspecting her bedroom for any threats.

- I heard a gunshot. - her breathe came rather harshly through her mouth, almost as if she had been holding in her breathe.

- There was no gunshot, angel. - his hands cupped her face, kissing the top of her forehead as she leaned into his embrace. - Your mind’s playing tricks on you.

- No, I heard it. - she heard it, she could still hear it ringing in her ears like a never ending sound. Sebastian’s lips tightened as he embraced her tighter, letting go of his revolver on top of her bed. - I heard it.

- I know, angel. I know. - he spoke very lowly, whisper-like even. - You’re tired, you need some rest.

- I swear I heard it. - she looked around, her eyes convincing her that there was no real danger but her mind telling her to keep her guard up, specially when the blanket on the ground caught her attention once more like a cursed amulet. Like a child, she hid from it on Sebastian’s shoulders, the contrasting cedar wood scent almost erasing the soft and fresh rosemary from her mind. She had heard it, she knew she had heard it. - Maybe you’re right, I just might be tired.

- C’mon, I can make you a cheese toastie. - he rubbed her arm soothingly, a inviting smile on his reddish pink lips which just always looked so inviting. - It’s gonna be alright, angel.

- Well, I’m surprised you can use a sandwich maker. - Y/N pushed the worries to the back of the brain, that part you only see when you’re trying to fall asleep or too lost in your own mind to visit those darkest parts which you hope disappear with time.

- I’m not completely incompetent in the kitchen. - she looked up at him, a seemingly calm smile masking all her worries. - I never set it on fire.

- What an amazing astonishment. - she giggled, a hand coming to stand in front of her lips.

- C’mon angel, let’s get some food in you.

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#sebastian stan #sebastian stan x reader #sebastian stan/reader #sebastian stan x you #sebastian stan/you #sebastian stan x y/n #sebastian stan/y/n #sebastian stan imagine #sebastian stan drabble #sebastian stan fanfic #sebastian stan AU #mob!sebastian stan #mob boss!sebastian stan #mobster!sebastian stan #mafia!sebastian stan #mafia boss!sebastian stan

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aion-rsa · 4 years ago

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Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers

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It’s easy to take one look at FOX’s newest animated comedy, The Great North, and assume it’s exactly like the long running and beloved Bob’s Burgers. Two of The Great North’s creators wrote a good chunk of Bob’s Burgers episodes and the shows share a near-identical art style after all. At first glance some of the Bob’s Burgers character archetypes seem to be involved as well: awkward daughter, an odd sarcastic youngest child, and a loving, if somewhat offbeat, father. So why bother with something like Bob’s Burgers when you could just watch Bob’s Burgers?

While there are a few surface similarities, by the end of the first episode of The Great North you’ll realize there’s so much more to it than just an Alaskan set version of the Belcher family. It’s got humor all its own, unique characters, and the potential to be something that isn’t merely a rival to Bob’s Burgers but a truly unique experience.

So let’s head up north to discover all the reasons why The Great North is so wonderful. As a brief primer, the show is set in Alaska and follows the Tobin family with fisherman dad Beef, artistic daughter Judy, loveably dumb son Ham, bear-suit wearing son Moon, oldest and eager to please son Wolf, his always chipper and new to Alaska fiancé Honeybee, and Judy’s best imaginary friend Alanis Morissette…played by Alanis Morssette.

The Family’s Lack of a Mom is Refreshingly Handled

A lack of a mom is a huge trope in animation at this point (look at damn near every ‘90s Disney movie) and if there is a mom, especially in a comedy, she tends to be wacky or overly loving. The Great North puts a new twist on both of these in its very first episode.

The plot of the premiere deals with Beef struggling to get over his ex-wife years after she abandoned the family. An ex-wife isn’t anything to write home about, a single dad taking care of a family is a comedy trope in of itself, but it’s what we learn about Beef’s ex that makes this element so refreshing.

Instead of the mom just not being present or having died off screen, Beef only acts like she’s dead, a fabrication everyone goes along with to keep him sane. When he isn’t around though Judy is quick to point out the rest of the family doesn’t buy this and they never liked her much anyway. She even flat out states,

“She was a really bad mom, okay? And it was actually better when she left.”

The other kids then list off horrible things she did, like name their dog Grandma solely so, “she wouldn’t be lying when she said we were with Grandma when people asked.” She runs a blog with her “new lover” about stores that wont chase you if you shoplift. Even in her goodbye letter to Ham she just wrote, “smell you later.”

I love this so much because it replaces all the easy sentimentality of a dead or simply absent mom that comedies love and instead opens up some fantastic new storytelling opportunities. In the pilot alone it gives us deep insight into Beef, that despite how awful she was he refuses to think anything but the best of her. Why is he like that? Is it his way of not thinking about all the terrible things she did? She’s left him so broken he has to concoct an elaborate fantasy to keep himself sane. It makes you instantly love the character and while he does seemingly get over this denial in the pilot I can foresee it impacting him for the rest of the series.

It’s also so refreshing because the kids aren’t all that broken up about it. Knowing their mom was terrible helps reflect a lot of what kids go through in real life. Sometimes they just have a bad parent and there’s no deep explanation of why, they just are and it’s not great. Maybe Judy and the others are hurt by this and I’d love to see the show tackle that in the future but even if it strictly keeps this part of their characters on the comedic side of things? It’s empowering. These kids aren’t broken up by their awful mom and want her back; they’re thriving BECAUSE she isn’t around.

Nick Offerman Being Nick Offerman

Over the years Nick Offerman has perfected the deadpan and loveable character that brought him to fame in Parks and Recreation. His role as Beef isn’t a major departure from that mold but it does allow Offerman to be even warmer than his most famous character.

As Beef he’s a capable man who gets up to see the sun rise and chop wood. He loves nature so much he steals a potted plant from a mall to take better care of it. His love for his family is on full display and he often goes to absurd lengths to keep them together. Offerman brings a great charm to the role and all of the jokes he delivers are winners.

The Rural Location

Bob’s Burgers draws much inspiration from its city setting, while The Great North is set in rural Alaska. This may seem like a surface level change but once again opens up all kinds of new opportunities for stories and characters. Where the Belcher family was somewhat cynical to city life (you would be to with a landlord breathing down your neck) the Tobin family openly embraces the chilly north.

Judy sits out on the roof and talks with her imaginary best friend, Moon takes great pride in his ability to mimic a soon to be eaten cadaver laying out in the snow, and Beef specifically gets up every morning to stare in wild wonder at Alaska’s majesty while whispering “hot dog.” The whole family even delights in going to the mall, which is the kind of joy only someone living out in the middle of nowhere can truly appreciate.

The Different Character Dynamics

Even after eleven truly fantastic seasons Bob’s Burgers characters still manage to never feel stale and the team behind the show always finds new ways to play around with them. With such a rock solid cast of characters you’d think they could tackle any story imaginable but The Great North is already proving to be a home for stories that just wouldn’t work for Bob’s Burgers.

The most noticeable change is that most of the kids are older. Judy and Ham are both sixteen which opens up a lot of possibilities that couldn’t be done with the Belcher kids. They can get involved in more serious relationships, have jobs (as Judy gets in the first episode), and are able to be more autonomous from the family. Wolf, the oldest of all of them, is engaged! Imagine what could be done with a soon-to-be married couple? Honeybee herself also functions as a delighted fish out of water to Alaska, her thoughts on the Tobins’ life a needed commentary. Her outgoing personality also clashes well with Moon’s stoic nature.

The 10 Best Bob’s Burgers Episodes

By Chris Cummins

Judy and Ham also share a more loving sibling dynamic than any of the Belcher kids ever have. In Bob’s Burgers the kids don’t wear their hearts on their sleeves, they’re more likely to make sarcastic quips about one other. The Great North though has Judy and Ham share a special bond, the two have a secret handshake that goes for an indeterminable amount of time. It’s really sweet and it makes me excited to see what kind of comedy can be mined from this more openly affectionate family.

Ham Is Gay And I Love Him

Ham is my favorite character so far in this show. He’s a little slow on the uptake but loves everyone in his family a lot and can even make a perfect replica of a cadaver… in the form of a cake. He also happens to be gay, a fact that is wonderfully confirmed in the first episode when he blurts out, “I AM GAY!

To which Moon responds, “we know. You’ve come out to us a bunch of times.”

Beef then adds, “we love you just the way you are, damn it!”

Ham, clearly not remembering his past comings-out, yells, “WELL, THANK YOU FOR BEING AN ALLY!”

It’s a great scene and kicks any subtext out the door. Queer audiences don’t have to sit around guessing who COULD be queer in the show (as they’re so often forced to do with so little representation in media) there’s a character who said OUT LOUD he’s gay. He’s one of us!

Bob’s Burgers has had several one-time gay characters (Bob did refer to himself as “mostly straight” once but that was more of a gag) but getting a gay teen in the main cast is sublime. He’s also a different sort of gay teen then we’re used to in television, with a tiny “probably thinks it’s cooler than it actually is” mustache and his “not quite all there” personality. He’s not a stereotype, he’s got some obvious flaws, but he’s loveable! Sure enough, his family loves him and accepts him.

Having a gay character in the cast opens up so many story possibilities. Are there any other gay kids in this rural town? What if there’s only one and he’s forced to date him? Does he know what kind of guys he likes yet? Where do the gay kids hang out in this town?

It also must be reiterated that his family loves him and accepts him. While drama over coming out and acceptance is totally valid, I’m glad that Ham will get the chance to just be gay and his family will support him all the way. We can just see him happily (if somewhat absent-mindedly) live his life and that’s needed in a world with so little queer representation. As a pansexual man myself it’s heartwarming. I wish I had a character like Ham when I was growing up.

Alanis Morissette Is A Main Character

Yes, Alanis Morissette is in The Great North (played by the actual Alanis Morissette) but in an absolutely perfect choice she’s not the REAL Alanis Morissette, she’s Judy’s best imaginary friend who just happens to be Alanis Morissette. Judy’s artistic so it makes sense she’d look up to someone as incredible as the Canadian musical genius. As an imaginary best friend she tends to serve as a sounding board for Judy’s thoughts and gives absolutely flawless advice.

Even better though? The imaginary Alanis Morissette also only appears in the Aurora Borealis. That’s… incredible. What a way to take advantage of the show’s location!

cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });

The Great North is a delight. It’s only been two episodes (the third one premieres February 14 and the first two are available on Hulu) but it’s already shown a lot of promise. Not in the “oh it’ll get good eventually” sense but in the “no it’s already great and I want to see more of it!” Don’t think of it as another Bob’s Burgers, just think of it as its own wonderful moose-filled show (it’s Alaska, what did you expect) and you’ll have a fantastic time. Truly, in these dark times we could all use a little help from imaginary best friend Alanis Morissette.

The post Why The Great North Isn’t Just Another Bob’s Burgers appeared first on Den of Geek.

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#aion-rsa #Den of Geek

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shortythescreen · 5 years ago

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I wanna know all your headcanons but after that last one I'm more specifically curious if you've got any general ones for Mirage, Wattson, or Wraith?

wolfeh! i was actually working on the OTHER ask you sent me when i hit a bit of a block, so i figured i’d answer this one for you first! this post isn’t gonna be as long as my others for each of the legends because.... i don’t want it to be too long......

Mirage Headcanons:

- One of his big brothers was an aspiring rockstar, so Elliot has a lot of classic rock albums. He’s also a bit of a snob and will only listen to them on a record player.

- Elliot is laser-focused when he’s working on something technical. So much so that he’ll forget to eat.

- He has several tattoos. The most prominent is a rose on the inside of his bicep, and the stem is all of his brothers’ names.

- Elliot is pigeon toed. When he’s standing, he tends to rocking on the inside of his feet.

- Sits with his legs wide open. Which is nice for some and annoying for others.

- Personally, I think Elliot is black. Like, just black. However, he does have a lot of Hispanic people mistake him for Latino and it’s lead to him knowing the phrase ‘no hablo español’ by heart.

- Also headcanon him as pan! When he refers to ‘babes’ in his loadscreen, he doesn’t just mean ladies.

- He has his Master’s degree in engineering. Wattson makes a lot of playful jabs at him regarding his suit -- not because she wants to be mean but because she wants to push him to better his work.

- Evelyn named all of her sons names that started with E. In order, it goes Elijah, Ethan, Ezekiel, and Elliot.

- Will shoot an imaginary basketball into an imaginary net when he makes a point in a conversation. Would totally say ‘Kobe’ if he knew who that was.

Wraith Headcanons:

- Accidentally became pescatarian. Even then, it’s rare she’ll eat fish. She often walks the line of vegetarianism.

- Wraith is half Japanese. Hence the reason her blade of choice is a kunai.

- She hasn’t reconciled being Renee with being Wraith. Even after finding out her real name, she still prefers to be called Wraith. If Revenant could build a bridge and get over it, the two might be able to bond over it.

- Is addicted to caffeine. She lives for her energy drinks but will settle for coffee if she can’t get her hands on one.

- She thinks about taking her nose piercing out sometimes -- but she likes the way it looks, so she leaves it alone.

- She and Mirage get along really well, even if they tend to argue when they’re on the same team. Literally the ‘extrovert that found an introvert’ pair.

- Wraith stress cleans. Her apartment always looks impeccable but only because she likes being able to organize and clean things when her thoughts start to get loud.

- When she first started hearing the voices, it didn’t register that they weren’t her thoughts. They all have her voice, so it seemed easy to brush them away as an intrusive thought. When they started referring to her as a separate person, it clicked that she wasn’t just... thinking out of turn.

- Wraith really likes science experiments. Not really complicated ones, or things like Caustic’s gas, but little, stupid kiddy ones. Like a potato battery, or food coloring in dish soap.

- She doesn’t identify with any one label! Is very nonchalant about her partners bits and identity and her own. She doesn’t place too stock in the importance of finding a title that ‘fits’.

Wattson Headcanons:

- A wolf in sheep’s clothing. Natalie is still very sweet, and kind, but she has the same feral energy as Octavio. Hence the reason she skipped up to snipe Bloodhound.

- Her father taught her how to shoot a gun years before she joined the games. She needed to fine tune her skills once she officially joined but she already had the basics down.

- Part of her cool off after the games is to watch trash TV. Maury? Jerry Springer? She lives for it. Will shout ‘I knew it!’ at the screen when someone is revealed as a cheater.

- Is the one that buys Caustic mugs with chemistry puns on them. At first, she thought it would brighten up his work day. Now, it’s just kind of funny to see the big, bad scientist with a mug that says ‘Don’t Be So NaCl’.

- She’s currently working on her master’s degree in electrical engineering. She earned her bachelor’s just before her father passed.

- Personally, I think she has autism! Very ‘mildly’ (i hope that’s an okay word to use for it. please correct me if not!) but lots of noise tends to bother her. She has earmuffs in the head of her body suit.

- Naturally an early riser. Natalie will wake up at like, five in the morning on her own, and still be as perky as she usually is.

- Is very texture sensitive. She can’t eat things like mangoes that are very mushy or stringy or both.

- Natalie has a significantly older half sister. Her name is Odette. They don’t talk much, their relationship strained by the large age gap, but they call each other every so often.

- She hates when people touch her feet. Could never get a pedicure.

#apex legends #apex legends headcanons #apex mirage #apex elliot witt #apex legends mirage #apex legends elliot witt #apex wraith #apex renee blasey #apex legends wraith #apex legends renee blasey #apex wattson #apex legends wattson #apex natalie paquette #apex legends natalie paquette #shorty writes #dargonwolfeh

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miafic · 4 years ago

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hi, i’m rereading mia and rt and i’m just wondering which characters are oc’s and which are actual people? bc you don’t use last names very often and i figured out yungblud and all time low and ashton and calum pretty quickly (actually quicker then i figured out jawn, lucas, zakk, and travis but mia was the first fanfic i read coming into the fandom oops i was so new i knew nothing) but it took me a while longer for some of the other people such as jb being jon bellion

this is always such a fun question!! and yeah, no last names because awsten doesn’t know/care haha.

clara rose is original. and otto’s parents, geoff’s family, ida jones from across the street lol. clark, everyone who works at the library and the sheriff’s department, mr. harrison and his son colt. the school counselor is an oc.

zoey from bible study is based on an old oc from fics on my ao3 that i just deleted. “zoey’s friend” is another oc from that same series based on demi lovato haha. awsten never talks to her, so she doesn’t get a name.

lucas and zakk’s families are all original. no one in awsten’s family is based on anyone real, although i figured out last year that in my head, a therapist i saw for a couple years is cast as his mom lol

leslie is an oc but she’s laura dern in my mind. travis’ siblings, nell and benny, are both original. ashley’s brother is an original character. mrs. chang who owns the yogurt place is original, and so is the guy from the newspaper and everybody who works at carson’s. emily is original and didn’t start out this way but is now cast as liv haynes.

i guess just assume that lakeview people are generally mine haha, especially if they showed up in rising tide. i will now contradict myself immediately.

maddie who works at the yogurt place is maddie rooney from liv and maddie on disney channel

maddie at school needs a new name, but she and chloe from geoff’s class are maddie and chloe from dance moms (for you dance moms fans, there’s a reference to jill and kendall and kendall’s sister ryleigh at one point lol)

taylor is taylor swift

hayley is hayley williams

max who i just recently added as an aide is maxx danziger

bran who is also (an aide) new is zach dewall from set it off but i renamed him because i already have zack and zakk. his name is brandon but they call him bran.

brendon and ryan are from patd

mr. o’callaghan is john o’callaghan from the maine

everyone i mention at the beginning of p&p is based on someone, either irl or a character (justin, kingsley, shane, etc.)

aunt tabby is tabitha brown

chance is chance sutton from team 10 pls kill me hahahaha im so sorry i just think hes cute and his name was perfect and his face when he was young is great for what the character is and idk i just thought he was a good fit for what i wanted. i was originally just using his name but the more i thought about it, the more perfect he became.

i posted about this on the mia instagram when it happened, but the old music therapist, cady, whom jawn has a crush on, is based on cady groves, who died at the beginning of may this year :(( she was 30

carter is very, very loosely based on carter hardin (yes hi i am admitting this now). mostly just using his name + face.

rob who runs tag is rob damiani, the lead singer of don broco

big t who works with jon is not called big t in real life. his name is travis mendes, and he works with jon (bellion) in real life. they make music together.

nate from bible study is nate kulina from kingdom which is my favorite tv show of all time. they just added it to netflix and i know you’ve probably heard me say it 80 times but if you’re old enough to be comfortable with tv-ma i HIGHLY recommend it

this is kind of funny and also kind of bad but eduardo from bible study is loosely based on eduardo from foster’s home from imaginary friends. he’s a big dude and he’s shy outside of bible study. he feels really at home at futurefaith <3

jake is whoever you want him to be. ashley is whoever you want her to be.

i know im probably missing like a thousand people!! but this is what i have for you right now. if you want to know about anybody specifically, please let me know! :)

#thank you for reading it again!!! i still cant believe yall do that. truly wild to me.#reference #anon #ask Aly

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charonaraccoon · 5 years ago

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Alex and Marc together at HRC

First of all… Can you imagine Marc negotiating with Honda after Alex won the title, which must have been a condition?

(The following transcript is a trustworthy original and certainly not imaginary and fake) Honda *nervous*: “So, Marc… What can we do to make you stay with us?” Marc *pondering*: “Rice crackers. I want more rice crackers in between sessions.” Honda *irritated*: “But… what about your diet, you shouldn’t-” Marc *stubborn*: “Couch. I want a couch for naps. Big, fluffy and red.” Honda *frightened*: “What? We don’t have the space… and shipping and-“ Marc *happily evil*: “Sign Alex!” Honda *drops pen*: “WHA-?!” Marc *evil intensifies*: “Sign my brother or I’m walking out that doo-“ *gets handed a pen* “Gracias!” Yep, this is how this went. Definitely.

Let’s be serious for a moment.

Marc told Alex two years ago, that they won’t use Marc’s (funny, they share the same, you get it, right?) name to get him into a MotoGP team and Alex won everything on his road there and now it’s finally happening.

It’s time.

I can’t wait for them together at Honda for various reasons, although I have my doubts, whether this will work out.

First,

The Pros

Basic, but the atmosphere around the whole team. Those two Bambis together means a lot of chaos, but a lot of love and determination, as well. They are like one person at times and not getting along with them is almost impossible.

Julia doesn’t have to rush from garage to garage multiple times every weekend, but can watch both his boys from one spot. The man’s getting older and his sons won’t make it any easier – he just doesn’t have to run 20 marathons per season.

Abuelo Marquez doesn’t have to get up super early anymore to watch Alex race, but can sleep another two hours to see both his grandsons race together. Give that old man a break, he needs all his energy for bullying Marc over that one title Alex won and he didn’t, thehe.

The sheer physic handsomeness of these brothers combined will crush enemies to dust. Imagine the promo footage including outtakes. Repsol? Good work. Point taken. (Including Marc having to stand on boxes for everything they’re doing on screen. Their height difference is immense by now and I’m here waiting for lotr references!)

Imagine the podiums with both of them together. Sunglasses, caps, champagne, those smiles – ‘nuff said, can’t wait!

Lots and lots and lots of pictures of Marc adoringly staring at Alex and vice versa. Press conferences and the mocking that will come with it, maybe more frequently than usual, if (and now we’re entering the

Cons:)

If Alex can gain a foothold within the team. The bike’s a bitch and their riding styles are very different (remember the height difference?) and the question is, whether and when Alex will be able to compete with his brother. Because that’s what it’s about in the end. Honda want a strong second rider and he has to deliver results at some point, better yesterday than tomorrow.

Honda is Marc’s team. It will be until he starts losing races. Really, honestly losing (a second place is not losing, Marc, worst result of the season or not!!!) and I don’t know, how they will cope with that. Alex is a two times world champion and he’s a fierce rider. Question is how he will fight against his own brother on track once he’s used to the bike. I love Marc. And I love Alex. And my heart is big enough for both of them, but there (eventually, hopefully) will be a time, when Alex competes for the championship and that inevitably means against Marc. They love each other, there will be no animosity between them, but they will fight and one of them will lose and it WILL break my heart. It’s a tough sport, but seeing them both happy and winning may have to stop after this season.

But it’s Alex and Marc Marquez, they love each other SO much, this

will outlast races, results, numbers on sheets of paper, trophies, records. They are bigger than that (well, at least Alex is, sorry, Marc^^) and let’s not forget, that they. want. this. to. work. It was their decision and I’ll support both of them for as long as they race.

Other than that…

May the gods have mercy on us all, their reign will be long and handsome and very Spanish.

But seriously? They are the epitome of clumsy adorableness and chaos and I really hope the paddock will still stand after next season.

We had Team Handsome. We had Team Talented. We had Team Tiny. And now it’s time for… *drum roll*

TEAM BAMBI!

That’s all, folks.

Thank you for your attention. ILY <3

#motogp #marc marquez #alex marquez #hermanos marquez #bambi and thumper #team bambi #God #I'm so hyped for this already!!!

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badlydrawndrawnings · 5 years ago

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ATWQ Book Three Thoughts

I finally got time this week to finished reading the third ATWQ book, and I got to say, I am honestly very, very scared how this series is going to end. I am feeling a sense of dread I don’t think I got when reading ASOUE as a child. Something about this series is making me go (O.O) with a dash of 8U I had no expectations on what the hell would this third book even hold. This is honestly all over the place like seriously...

This book just got me shook.

Okay, so first all...BERTRAND WAS THEODORA’S LAST APPRENTICE? Holy **** this was one of the many things that shook me to the core. “He’d end up married to a wonderful woman and have very charming children, while I languished alone and lonely.” Lemony Snicket you have no idea what you just foretold for your future.

Prosper Lost really decided to tell Lemony about his family (daughter Ornette + brothers in law?) and shows he isn’t just a nosy, sneaky and lurking in the background type of guy. He has great concerns that aren’t related to his business it goes to the whole freaking town! I get the feeling something bad happened in his past and with a fire like shoot why else is he working the Official Fire Department. I guess it has something to do with his wife (I assume since he has a daughter).

In regards to Ornette, I don’t have a true clear thought or opinion of her yet. Cleo while showing up late got talked a lot for about 2/3 of the books and an illustration that gives me some idea of her character. Ornette got mention a few times, and then shows up at Wade Academy and she’s very gung-ho; willing to work with the others and Lemony who she just met. I like she’s open minded working with a stranger like Ornette is gonna fit in well. However, I guess I have to say her first impression was weaker than Cleo’s build up so I’m just *thinking* over her still. I hope we get to see more of her in the last book though.

Theodora really just hit me with a tone of bricks. I admit this book really made me like her more because damn it, I think I did what Theodora did once or twice in my life and it sucks. So first off: Theodora all this time knew she was rank last? God, that must mean in the previous books those fancy talks of her reputation partly must have been done to make herself feel better and have confidence and skills that isn’t really there. Since she’s rank last it means there’s a chance she’s not well respected -and maybe not well like (I assume rank is a combinations of reviews from past apprentices and peer reviews). That means Theodora puts on an act for Lemony (and Bertrand who was a lot easier for Theodora to chaperone; Bertrand what review did you gave Theodora?) and everyone else to make herself seem better and more competent. Because if others of different standings take her serious, then VFD will start taking her more serious, and ergo, others (work) associates will be all ‘yeah we can be friends 8D!’. Clearly it’s not working as plan.

Theodora latching on to Sharon and their short lived friendship (the nail polish...Theodora may not have gotten friendship bracelets but she went all out anyway, this just sad to think about). Here we have Theodora thinking she not only has a friend in who know how long -and a friend from she thought was part of VFD- but has a chance to prove herself for once from all her past mistakes and screw up. And Sharon reveal herself as a fraud and Theodora is all like ‘well ****’ and despite not liking Lemony, she still made sure Lemony sure as hell wasn’t going to be taken by Hangfire and the Inhumane Society (such is a duty of a chaperone).

But despite her low rank, Theodora just more than that. She not just a wild hair driver, and yeah, this was clearly shown since the first book if she saved Lemony from getting kidnapped. Theodora knew the whole time Lemony was going to plan something with Kit (IDK if she knew of the coup, but she knew something big was going to happen. Did she took him to SBTS so their plan would fail?). She also knows enough the plan got so off the rails Kit is in jail and Theodora was willing to help Lemony break her out. I’m not saying she’s a favorite character, but she’s in a general tier of ‘I like very much!’

The Haines family (two out three at least): I feel for Sharon, wanting her daughter Lizzie back at any cost. I can understand why she felt like she had no choice to work with Hangfire. If Hangfire got Sally Murphy to work for him (she was trying to help save Lizzie this whole time oh my god), then it’s not much of a stretch Hangfire could get the Haines as well if they’re desperate. But she dragged Kellar into it and was considering striking Kellar across the face. She was willing to go that far to get her son to continue working with Hangfire to get Lizzie back. I hope with Lizzie getting found, the family can be together again and work their issues out.

Won’t say too much on Kellar himself, in part because apparently, ‘dynamite hair’ translated into the famous Tintin quiff. Don’t get me wrong, I like Kellar. His situation sucks to the tenth level and he stood up for what he know is right, even if it means he and his mom have to temporary part ways (again, I hope the Haines family can be together again and work their issues out). I totally think he and Moxie will become very good friends (he needs friends in general). Typist buddies are a go-go! But whenever I think of him and his illustration I can’t get Tintin out of my head. Thanks, Seth.

I got a better feel of Cleo from this book, and yeah, she is totally Team Chemistry Dad, and Jake is totally Team Food Mom. They’re the team parents for all these kids and they’re doing a very good job. Cleo honestly rocks the mask with her color scheme. As to the rest of Lemony’s SBTS associates + Qwerty, nothing much change on thoughts and opinions (Lemony is still upset over Moxie’s arm 8U). I hope Qwerty in the last book gets free. I thought something bad was gonna happen to him like Dewey. I feel a bit happy Qwerty is just arrested and not dead from a harpoon gun.

Ellington, meanwhile, is getting more desperate to find her father (she has a picture of him in her music box my goodness that hurts! However, thanks to a re-watch of Netflix ASOUE, and thinking about [RETRACTED] and looking at something I wrote in a different ATWQ post, I have a very bad feeling, and I hope I’m wrong about it.) if she was more or less ‘working’ with Hangfire. Those film noir vibes are getting to real warning levels that are in the red zone and close to 100% Got to admit thought, her and Lemony’s ‘first and last date’ really ended on a damp note 8U.

I’m too scared on guessing WTF is the creature/noise Lemony and Ellington heard. And do I want to know about the honeydew melons (I like cantaloupe more TBH)?

My opinion of the Mitchum parents are the same but my goodness! Someone let them know how terrible their son is and let them know they’re failure as parents! Stew upgraded from bully to ‘part time villain’, knows it, and just got worse. I gotta bring up Carmelita again because Stew is making me think over Carmelita’s character more than I ever thought before.

I interpret Carmelita as a spoil rich brat and bully who got away with her rotten behavior due to her parents not being parents, just giving her too many gifts and not teaching her important manners. She a bit of an ill-fusion of Veruca Salt and Dudley Dursley in my opinion. Anyway, Carmelita has no idea what she got herself into in the TSS, but by TGG-TPP she is ‘okay! 8D’ because Esme while teaching her to be a ‘villain’ and other dangerous things, it’s mitigated by Esme still spoiling Carmelita rotten and keeping Carmelita’s old lifestyle she’s used too. It also help in the TAA and TSS she just used words as weapons, so this ‘jump’ was just a real shocker and showing how Carmelita while knowing of VFD, is still blind to their hidden nature if she didn’t dwell to much over it.

Stew on the other hand, is a bully who has been using force since the first book, but it’s on the low-down side. Now, Stew is willingly working with Hangfire, and he just decided to go all out and take it up a notch. And Stew unlike Carmelita, isn’t blind to what is going on. I think. It’s also possible Stew doesn’t know the major end goal of Hangfire and Stew is happy he gets to continue bullying people through any means, and his target just has to be Lemony. I honestly don’t know what’s up with him and his actions.

Speaking of Lemony...someone help this poor child mentally and physically. This is all too much for a thirteen year old (or anyone). He has to worry about Kit and save a dying town, and IDK if Theodora is even going to help in the final book if she wanted to high tail it out of there. He’s feeling more lonely than ever and Imaginary!Kit shows up again. Lemony Snicket you just jinx yourself about being lonely shouldn’t stop at age thirteen ;_; you have no idea what is in store, especially when it comes to your siblings. Lemony is closer to Kit than to Jacques, but the ‘flashback’ to playing Beethoven was sweet because the two were able to spend time together and this was like, the first time Lemony actually thought of Jacques in who know how long. Now I’m thinking about Netflix!Lemony wishing he spend more time with Jacques.

So uh...Olaf got a name drop (is guess who referring to the game? band? IDK who Q is but, this is gonna be weird with my headcanon of Mr. Quagmire), I covered Bertrand’s name drop...and Josephine cameos.

If I have to put her on a tier list, Josephine would be the middle between ‘like’ and ‘neutral’. She isn’t my favorite character and guardian, but I like her enough to not put her in neutral (and I have thoughts on her that I won’t 100% share here). With many fears (rational, irrational, surprisingly rational but on first glance irrational), due to VFD messing with her to where she has no choice to become a hermit and hide away from the danger of the world and become very safety conscious. Her years of being frighten grew to where she is cowardly and cares for herself more at times (she does ‘scream’ coward near the end of the TWW, especially in the books and Movie).

Once Quite Adventurous (Movie Only), and Fierce and Formidable (Netflix Only), if it’s not a headcanon, it’s almost canon Ike’s death was the turning point for Josephine deciding to hide away from the world. With Ike’s death, Josephine must have thought she has no choice to retreat to her hazard of a home and live alone for who know how long to keep herself safe. In both adaptations, they show hints (and Netflix only; also shown it via flashback) of Josephine’s old life through photographs. Also in both adaptations, it seems Josephine really went from ‘dangerous lifestyle’ to ‘gonna hide in my room please go away’ very fast after Ike’s demise.

So, I’m happy and a bit upset Josephine cameos in this ATWQ book. Josephine is not 100% Quite Adventurous, or 100% Fierce and Formidable. I mean, she is those thing, but Josephine is also rather...Cautious. The fact Lemony even calls her ‘careful girl’ and Josephine is taking a risk to visit SBTS seems both adaptations was exaggerating her personality before Ike’s death/possible retirement from VFD. While certainly less afraid of the world, and much braver than TWW, there’s a implication Josephine is on her tip-toes, as well as making sure where she steps (or flies to in her helicopter). I have to say showing a teen Josephine being cautious is a good way to show how her extremism phobias and hermit habits have their roots since her younger years.

And that’s why I’m happy and a bit upset. I’m happy Josephine’s character is explore and it’s fueling to my pile of headcanons that are half bake for her. But I’m upset because...the adaptations. I’ll give Movie!Josephine a minor break though. Since it came out before ATWQ, I doubt Daniel Handler had even thought of this series and character cameos planned out. Movie!Josephine was a shot in the dark and one of the few things that somehow came out unscratched. I think the film played up her fears and cowardliness, but her photo album doesn’t mess up anything regarding ATWQ’s cameo.

Netflix however, has ATWQ. And from my past re-watch, I can now see there’s some references to ATWQ that went over my head (I am seriously hopping I didn’t got accidentally spoilers *stares at [RETRACTED]*). Anyway, Netflix!Josephine’s portrayed and the changes are fitting to her character. Her last act of courage after realizing Olaf killed Ike is rather nice. Yeah, I know it seems Josephine snapped due to his grammar mistake, but on the re-watch Josephine was all \OMO/ when Olaf slips up on the tamales, so I think Josephine confront Olaf for Ike’s murder and his bad grammar. I don’t want to say they ignore Josephine being described as a careful girl in her youth to making her freaking Sporty(TM), but if I do think of rewatching the show again sometime soon after finishing ATWQ (I started reading the first chapter before lunch and I think I’ll have more time the rest of the week to read), ATWQ’s cameo will be haunting the back of my mind.

Josephine totally needed to called out Lemony for ditching Kit, just like Hector. Though I guess Josephine has more reason to since Kit is really close to getting lock up, all because of two ‘new’ characters: Gifford and Ghede, who also tried to kidnapped Lemony back in the first book. Damn, for ‘noble’ VFD members, they sure suck at their job if Kit is still arrested and they tried to kidnapped Lemony...for some reason.

Are they are on the fire starting side?

#atwq #all the wrong questions #shouldn't you be in school #s theodora markson #asoue #a series of unfortunate events #lemony snicket #josephine anwhistle #yeah i talk about her #spoilers #I guess #this is a text post

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tisthenightofthewitch · 5 years ago

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THE NEXT CHAPTER: TOBIAS FORGE AND THE FUTURE OF GHOST

Their Kerrang! Award-winning fourth album Prequelle took Ghost from cult concern to global superstars. But the arena-filling congregation of fans is growing restless for clues as to what’s next for Cardinal Copia, Papa Nihil and the ministry. Let Tobias Forge, then, take you behind the mask and into the making of – and future plans for – a band like no other…

The WaMu Theater, Thursday 19 September. Last night this venue – attached to the side of CenturyLink Field, the home of the Seattle Seahawks NFL team – played host to the ‘Groover from Vancouver’ himself, Bryan Adams. Tomorrow it’s the turn of the Pacific Northwest city’s beloved sons, grunge legends Alice In Chains, for their last show in support of their sixth album, Rainier Fog. Tonight, though, Seattle gets the latest ritual on Ghost’s extensive Ultimate Tour Named Death.

Despite this morbid moniker, the scene inside the building is one of lively activity, with techs rushing around to finish the show’s elaborate staging. The house lights illuminate the stained glass window backdrop, while the seating, flat on the floor and sweeping upwards towards the back, furthers the illusion we’re in a vast church. Just then, Tobias Forge, the man whose job it is to address tonight’s 5,000-strong congregation appears. Kerrang! doesn’t notice him at first given the ninja-like silence of his approach, but there’s an intensity to his presence in these make-or-break moments of preparation.

“I’m interested in tour production, so I get to know a lot of these things,” he offers matter-of-factly. “I’m sure I only get to know about 40 per cent of it, but I notice if things aren’t in place.”

As a nine-year-old child, Tobias used to watch the documentary 25x5: The Continuing Adventures Of The Rolling Stones on repeat. The film charts the rock legends’ genesis in 1962 and their steep, heady ascent to becoming the biggest band in the world, circa their 1989 album Steel Wheels. Tobias considers their subsequent Bridges To Babylon Tour (1997-1998), which made more than $274 million and became the second-highest grosser of all time, to be the greatest ever piece of rock staging, and he was evidently taking notes even then. As a result of the level of professionalism he aspires to, you get the distinct impression he’s not a man who suffers fools gladly in this setting – an idea he doesn’t go to great pains to dispel.

“I want to know who’s in the shit today,” he explains. “Who has been put in the situation where his or her job is compromised, because I don’t want to start yelling if it’s a case of, ‘Oh my truck didn’t arrive in time today,’ because then I’ll know what the problem is. If you want to be a good boss, it’s very important you keep things on your radar.

“I’ve definitely got into trouble over the years by being too nice to people and giving them too much slack,” he continues, surveying the operation. “When you do that it’s like with dogs: if you don’t tell them what the rules are, they start making up their own. That sounds horrible, but there are 40 people on this tour, so there has to be a line and a curriculum. I’m adamant about getting my vision through, especially now we’re in this transitional phase between theatres and arenas.”

This increase in scale reflects the continued upswing in Ghost’s popularity, which has seen them go from misunderstood cult band to metal superstar status in the space of less than a decade. Despite this success, Tobias clearly isn’t taking anything for granted. Ghost haven’t played Seattle for three years, but this time around they’re doing two shows in Washington State, the other being the one they played at the Toyota Center in Kennewick two days ago, which has a capacity of 6,000 – almost eight per cent of the city’s 80,000 population.

Tobias may or may not be referring to that show when he discusses his unbridled joy at recently playing in an unnamed city that doesn’t get a lot of large-scale entertainment coming through town, save for appearances from KISS, singer-songwriter Pat Benatar and a touring production of the musical Wicked in recent years.

“None of us had ever heard of this place, and I’m pretty good at geography,” he explains. “But I loved being the singular moment somewhere, instead of the seventh show they’d had there on that particular week.”

And while Tobias describes the resulting night as “phenomenal”, earlier in the day there was an “unforeseen curveball” when the company who were meant to be selling merch at the show pulled out at the last minute, citing Ghost’s satanic image for their decision. This was, of course, a throwback to earlier shows, such as one in the Texan city of Odessa in 2018, when a minister attempted to dissuade people from attending because of the band’s threat to the morals of good God-fearing people. Unsurprisingly, this outburst resulted in an increase in ticket sales.

Despite this more recent – and, these days, more unusual – blip, Tobias’ desire to cover as much ground as possible on tour this time around is inspired by his heroes in Iron Maiden and Metallica, who have long provided him with the blueprints for achieving and navigating monumental success. In this case, the lesson he’s putting into practice is that every location Ghost visit, without exception, should be treated the same.

“The most important thing to me on this tour is that we bring the same production to everyone,” he says. “They all get the full-fucking-monty, whether they’re in Sioux Falls [South Dakota] or New York.”

The walls backstage at the WaMu Theater are lined with Seahawks jerseys, personalised with the names of acts that have performed here, including The 1975, Bastille and Nas, and the rockier contingent featuring twenty one pilots, Halestorm and Dropkick Murphys. Various rooms lead off from these labyrinthine corridors, providing sizeable production offices for the band’s tour management and crew, all of who wear dapper black shirts, trousers and braces affixed with silver broaches of Ghost’s upside down cross insignia. They affectionately address Cardinal Copia as ‘Cardi C’ when he appears later for a fan meet-and-greet. Here, too, are the dressing rooms for the headliners and the opening act for this tour, San Antonio rockers Nothing More.

On all of the doors is a distinct A4 page, the day sheet for this show, which not only details what’s happening, where and when, but also includes a different tongue-in-cheek quote for the occasion. Today, for example, in recognition of the touring party travelling overnight to Vancouver for tomorrow’s show at the city’s Pacific Coliseum, we get this gem courtesy of Britney Spears: ‘The cool thing about being famous is travelling. I have always wanted to travel across seas, like to Canada and stuff.’

Tobias, of course, has actually travelled over oceans to be here. Nowadays he lives in Stockholm, the capital of his native Sweden, with his wife and their 11-year-old twins, but he was born in Linköping, the country’s seventh largest city, where the steeple of its 13th century cathedral dominated the skyline. That’s not what the young Tobias was fixating on, though. Instead, aged five, when he already knew he wanted to transform into another person, he’d stand outside his childhood home and gaze down the street. The sun always seemed to be hovering between the buildings at the end, like a fixed but intangible hand beckoning him to get on a plane and go somewhere else and be someone else.

“The days and options seemed limitless,” he recalls today. “For some reason I always thought of the world as being there for the taking, even though I didn’t have any access to that world.”

In spite of this, he felt a deep affinity with his heroes, like the Rolling Stones and Queen, who also came from places you didn’t automatically associate with being breeding grounds for rock gods.

“I felt similar to them, even if they grew up in Dartford [Rolling Stones] or an island off the coast of Africa [Zanzibar, the birthplace of Freddie Mercury]. I, too, felt out of touch with my surroundings, and knew I had a higher calling.”

Twenty-three years later, in 2009, Tobias realised he hadn’t made much headway in heeding this call. He’d been in bands from a young age, from death metallers Repugnant to alt-rockers Magna Carta Cartel. The latter featured Martin Persner and Simon Söderberg, who’d later appear as Nameless Ghouls in the first incarnation of Ghost. Söderberg, along with some other ex-ghouls, is now embroiled in an on-going lawsuit with Tobias over what they suggest are the rightful shares of profits they’re owed from their time in the band. Tobias doesn’t volunteer any information on this topic today, which is perhaps understandable given the considerable column inches already dedicated to it.

Regardless, none of those early bands provided Tobias with the success he needed to, say, quit the day job. He had then been working in a call centre, aiding people having trouble with their mobile phones. Despite spending his childhood endlessly sketching elaborate stage designs and lighting rigs, he still has little interest in technology, particularly mobile phones. Back in 2009 his personal life was happy and satisfying, having welcomed children with his then-girlfriend – now wife – though this potent reminder of the finite time we have drew his attention to the area of his life he recognised as falling short.

“I had an epiphany,” he explains, raising his hands as if sizing up an imaginary canvas. “I found myself very far from the path, so decided in the limited time I have to invest everything in the one thing out of all my [professional] options I believed most in, which was Ghost. I understood wholeheartedly what it was, the music and the image, and felt I could do it without my vanity coming in, because I didn’t like how I looked in pictures or the sound of my own voice. But this would be fiction, so that was fucking cool. So I took all of my eggs and put them in one basket and was back on track. For the first time in my fucking life I was really focused.”

For evidence of the dividends this paid, you need only look at the fact that just a year later, with the release of their 2010 debut album Opus Eponymous, Ghost exploded on to the scene, taking the first step to becoming metal’s hottest new hope.

Further proof of this focus comes today from interviewing Tobias somewhere there’s a screen showing news channel CNN. We’re in the band’s pre-show warm-up space, which is decked out with guitars, keyboards and an electric drum kit he removes the stool from to sit in the centre of the room. He admits if he were in a hotel room now, he could easily watch CNN for 24 hours straight. He doesn’t so much as turn his head to look at it now, though, giving his full attention to the interview at hand.

Even at 38, an age he says his kids consider “as old as shit”, he remains remarkably boyish looking. His dark and piercing eyes, however, belong to an older soul – and it may be Kerrang!’s imagination – but they appear to moisten at several points during this hour-long chat, particularly when connecting the dots between his past ambition and what he’s achieved today.

“I’m trying to recreate a lot of things that aren’t necessarily real,” he says mysteriously. “In my head they’re real, and I’ve been given this fantastic carte blanche where I don’t have to sit in a fucking call centre anymore and am applauded for getting to be someone else. It’s perfect for someone like me who has a fundamental problem with functioning normally in society. If it wasn’t for the fact I was doing this, I would be completely useless.”

When Ghost signed with their American record label, their mythology wasn’t the deep well of fascination it is today. In fact, there was nothing to it at all. They had a unique aesthetic and a sound that didn’t necessarily go with that look, something that would wrong-foot new listeners in the early days, but Tobias didn’t have an answer to why Ghost were the way they were.

“They said the music was great but asked, ‘What’s the story? What’s the biography?’” recalls Tobias. “I said there was no biography because there was no story to tell. I wanted people to throw themselves into the vision and make up their own. But in the end I had to come up with one, which is second nature to me now. Even [Norwegian black metallers] Mayhem had a story. In the early ‘90s, before the internet, there was something that compelled us to want to find out more and listen to their music.”

This mythology Tobias has developed over the years was furthered with the release of Ghost’s fourth album, last year’s GRAMMY-nominated Prequelle, which introduced Tobias’ latest incarnation, Cardinal Copia, a character fans have come to love if the number of $40 plush toys sold at the merch desk tonight is any indication. More recently, a web series on YouTube has added to the intrigue, with the latest episode harking back to 1969, when a young Cardinal Nihil was fronting Ghost at the launch of their EP, Seven Inches Of Satanic Panic. That just so happens to be the band’s latest release in 2019, which will also be available as part of Prequelle Exalted, a limited collector’s edition of the album. Meanwhile, The Ultimate Tour Named Death has introduced the EP’s two new songs, Mary On A Cross and Kiss The Go-Goat, to its set list.

While Ghost’s music has always tipped its papal tiara to the ‘60s, particularly its psychedelic leanings, the latter song in particular sees them take this interest a step further. How much can we glean from them, then, with regards to where Ghost goes next? Not too much, as it turns out, according to Tobias, who suggests, as with the YouTube series, it’s a way to deepen the story of Ghost spanning from the ’40s to the present day, without necessarily providing clues to the sound of album number five.

“It’s just there for shits and giggles,” he laughs, before revealing that Kiss The Go-Goat, a song that’s been knocking around for some time, actually had the working title ‘The Throwback Single’. “I grew up listening to ‘60s music like the Rolling Stones and The Doors, as well as metal. People shouldn’t read too much into this direction, though. The next album is going to be something completely different from that.”

Can Tobias perhaps give two words to describe where, musically or thematically, album number five is heading?

“I’d choose the words ‘fifth’ and ‘album’,” he replies with a wry smile, before justifying what seems like a diversionary tactic. “I look at many fifth albums as a guide as to the urgency for what that record will need to be, with [Iron Maiden’s] Powerslave being a great example. By the fifth album you’re at a point in your career where you have this momentum built up, and you have the expectancy of people depending on you, so you have to put something special in those many spotlights. You need to step up and make a record that’s worth it and justifies all of these things.”

Who, then, can we expect to see fronting these rituals in future?

“I just know that person will have the name Papa Emeritus IV. It will be the fourth Papa Emeritus. But who that is, we don’t know yet.”

We’re not sure we believe him, so push for more. Might we see Cardinal Copia graduating to Papa status? The latest episode of the web series seems to indicate the ‘Sister Imperator’ character and Papa Nihil conceived a child. Wouldn’t that make him part of the papal bloodline?

“I think that what you will get over the next year are a lot of answers to a lot of questions,” offers Tobias, keeping things vague.

Like the question of whether Sister is pregnant? (In the latest ‘chapter’ of the web series, Sister attacks a woman at a Ghost show for smoking next to her).

“We don’t know that yet. It would blow my mind if she was now,” he says, clearly referring to the elderly Sister in the present day. This suggests she could well be with child back in 1969, though.

Has Tobias sketched what this new Papa will look like?

“Have you ever seen The Big Lebowski?” he asks by way of an answer, referencing the scene in the Coen brothers’ classic where Jeff Bridges’ character, The Dude, spots someone drawing on a notepad. When the man leaves the room with the piece of paper, The Dude rushes to scribble on to the page below to reveal the outline of what’s been drawn, only to discover it’s a doodle of a cock and balls. “It’s something along those lines.”

Sensing Tobias is in full evasion mode by this point, we change tack. Perhaps understanding his ambitions, and whether there’s a summit to them, can shed some light on the future – especially as he seems more focused on what Ghost’s next album will do rather than what it will sound like.

“I wouldn’t necessarily compare [my ambitions] to what the Rolling Stones have done, because that was a completely different time under completely different circumstances. For the last 40 years they have sold tickets because of nostalgic reasons, and maybe 40 years in the future there would be a nostalgia element for Ghost, but I can’t count on that.”

“I regard Metallica as colleagues and friends now, but they’re still Metallica,” he says of the thrash legends Ghost supported on their European stadium tour this summer. “I am an ambassador and they are presidents. But when I look to Metallica for influence, I’m looking at what they did in 1988. We’re on our fourth album, as they were on the Damaged Justice Tour, so the next stop is the Black Album.”

Spotting Kerrang!’s obvious joy at this admission, Tobias is quick to clarify exactly what he means by this.

“You have to make a responsible record,” he adds emphatically. “That doesn’t mean to expect riffs. It’s two different things – what the record sounds like and knowing to put yourself in the right spot at the right time. When I had nothing, and lived in a small apartment that cost very little because the ceiling leaked, the dream was to be able to live off making music. When I had kids that became even more important. Now it’s about something else. I’m responsible for showing my wife and my kids that all these years of waiting for me have been worth it. And that goes beyond money, because at the end of the day that’s just seasoning. One day my kids will be grown-up and I have to be able to show them that all this time playing rock shows had a real purpose.”

Of course, it doesn’t hurt that Tobias loves touring.

“I’m like a sailor,” he says. “I just love being on the ocean. I’ve not always been on tour, but I’ve always been a transient person. And the road to achieving all this is endless, just like the road I looked down when I was five seemed to me at the time.”

Kerrang

#Tobias Forge #Tobias Interview #The Band Ghost #Ghost Band #Cardinal Copia

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lizzybeth1986 · 5 years ago

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Quick Thoughts on TRH Book 1 Chapter 6

• It's YEEHAW time everyone!

• And also raise a middle finger to logic as we see the MC wear something that she should have probably lent to the Platinum MC for a country performance, rather than for farm work.

• There's also the bit where she randomly takes a pregnancy test coz she feels nauseous (yes I know. It's plot related and is probably done to show a false negative. But you need to time these things, MC! The best time to look for a double line is closer to the time you're supposed to be having your period, if your period is regular).

• Screenshot Credits:

Hana: @pixieferry

Drake: @thefirstcourtesan

Maxwell: The Abhirio YouTube channel.

• These are the tags you can block if you don't want to see these posts: #long post, #trh quick thoughts, #trh qts, #trh qt reblogs.

• Drake has an AUNT? Please don't give me any more family members, I'm done dealing with the ones he already has.

• I'm wondering if Leona exists so that PB can do some serious retconning on Bianca's behalf. After all, when she appeared in the Drake playthroughs of Book 3, there wasn't much of a positive reception for her - with some players even saying that the MC should have a few choice words to say to her - and for good reason.

• Title: Home, Home on the Range

So whatever little knowledge I do have about a place like Texas is from films and pop culture, so this might not be new information to you but it is to me! 😁 So I'm probably going to be a gazillion times more excited about sharing it than you guys might be to read it! Bear with me for a sec.

From what I'm reading, "Home, Home on the Range" seems to a western folk song that's so popular it's considered an unofficial anthem in that region. Its origin was from a poem called "My Western Home" from a Kansas native called Dr Brewster M Highly, in 1872 (it was even made Kansas' state song in 1945?). The lyrics are very...Drake:

Where the air is so pure, and the zephyrs so free,

The breezes so balmy and light,

That I would not exchange my home on the range,

For all of the cities so bright.

Mostly a very idyllic, glorified portrait of country life. You find similar sentiments in Drake's diamond scene this chapter.

• Alternative Title: We Just Needed An Excuse to Use the BSC Soundtrack Twice.

• So we meet Bianca, Drake's mother, this chapter. If you married him this is the second time you're seeing her, and if you married anyone else this is the first time and you have no clue who she is until Drake introduces her to you. She also mentions in the Drake playthrough that this is not the kind of welcome she was hoping to give her son and daughter-in-law.

• We also meet Leona, Bianca's older sister and Drake's aunt. She's extremely unimpressed with this group of nobles and largely seems to blame the nobility in general for whisking away her younger sister, leaving her alone to manage the ranch?

• She pretends not to listen much to Cordonian news while talking to Liam, but seems to have the time to keep up with Cordonian gossip while talking to us - and luckily you can call her out on it too.

• She seems the type that likes a rebellious Duchess/Queen, going by her responses to the more sarcastic options from the MC.

Hmm. This scene does two things: one, it establishes that the ranch is facing financial problems, in terms of money and staffing, and two, it possibly may build up to why Bianca had to return to the States. Both I think might become important points in the coming chapters.

• Bianca seems intent on not letting her children know anything about the fraught situation at her ranch, but Leona is having none of it. You either do your work and do it well, or she will put you through your paces. Which is exactly what is happening with Bertrand now.

• The whole theme of "we need to get pregnant, and fast" returns with the presence of Savannah, who greets us with a very excited, sociable Bartie in tow. You can choose to either pick him up and pay attention to him, ask Savannah to figure out what he wants, or ignore him completely. Whatever you choose, the topic of you becoming a mother will come up (either she comments on how you're a natural, or she will tell you that you'll eventually be able to read your own baby's signals). Savannah now joins a long, long line of people who will talk to us as if we're already pregnant (her fiancé will join this list in a couple minutes too, don't worry).

• Speaking of parents, the sole dad of the (extended) group - Bertrand - is nowhere to be found. Bianca is all praise, Leona is Unimpressed™, and Maxwell is shocked that the guy who swore never to touch fowl again after witnessing a flooded peacock enclosure is now chasing chickens. The group overall can't believe it.

• Bertrand is, in fact, chasing chickens.

• So here's the other issue that will come up. Having eventually convinced Savannah that he is serious about her and Bartie, he now wants to win the approval of the family. Bianca is more than ready to accept him, Leona is...Unimpressed™.

• This sets stage for Problem 3 of the Goings On at The Walker Ranch: Bertrand is desperate for approval and Leona seems pretty set on not giving him that. So I'm pretty sure getting her to realize that Savannah's fiancé means business and there is actually something for her to respect about him - if not love - is pretty much one of the loose ends we will have to tie up in the course of the Texas chapters.

• Savannah's laid out some clothes for everyone, so everyone gets a 'country' look and a cowboy hat.

• Like always, the outfit options come with different reactions based on the LI you're romancing:

Liam's looks nice I think, Hana is pretty (I haven't the foggiest idea of what would on a ranch so I wouldn't know how feasible - or not - these two outfits would be), Maxwell looks like he's dressed for the ranch AND for winter and Drake looks okay (like...there's a theme or something with his outfits, like he needs to have a LOT of a particular colour. Denim on denim, brown shirt brown hat).

• While Liam and Esther collectively swoon over each other, Savannah is all shocked and like "you both know we're still here, right?". Uh huh, you had no problem fangirling over Bertrand's "stern but sexy eyebrows" in public but suddenly me flirting a little with my husband is too much for you 😑

A little too much??? Listen, Esther has worn a hat that looked like it swallowed a hundred smaller hats on the way and cried in JOY at the sight. She has COMFORTED a widowed grieving Queen Mother and STARED DOWN Hana's awful parents, all with that honking big hat obscuring her face. How does a tiny puny cowboy hat with a bracelet thingy around it even compare??

• In the kitchen, Bertrand continues his woeful attempts to make conversation with Leona by revealing just how little he knows about running a ranch. Leona is Unimpressed™ (Betrand: How are the crops? Leona: We have cattle 😑. Bertrand: Who...ate the crops? Leona: 😑😑😑)

• Leona's like the adult version of the Unimpressed Sikh Child in Bollywood Hogwarts:

• We get darkly roasted coffee to help us gear up for the day's work at the ranch, and it's quite...the mouthfull. If you succeed in drinking it, you get high on coffee, and if you react to the strong taste, Leona makes a smart-alec comment about how "her highness must have wanted a chilled latte" (I forget which drink she mentioned but something similar) or something. Wish there was an option to tell her "Bertrand didn't tell me about the stick up your ass" (callback! From which book? Guess!)

• You feel slightly nauseous on the way, which is a bit of a set up to the end of the chapter.

• We split up into teams. Liam and Maxwell help with getting the hay for the horses, Hana and Drake help with sorting the tack.

Liam is a quick learner (and learns stuff just by observing), Maxwell is confused between the interests of horses and dogs, Drake is even more confused at Hana's speed, and PB has forgotten that Hana has actually ridden actual horses and would actually have at least a working idea of what actual tack with an actual horse would look like. Sure she may not have MADE tack for those horses, but you can miss me with that "imaginary horse friends" bullshit.

• See Team TRR, this is what happens when you focus on nothing else but Hana's skills. Even you fail to keep track.

• We feed the chickens (and I can see what I think are shades of Hana's upbringing in the way she says "wait your turn! one at a time!"...with chickens).

• ...there was a "no royal pets" policy in the palace that Liam waived?? No wonder we could get a corgi and Penelope could bring her poodles to court as soon as Liam became King!

• Re: Liam talking about having stuffed animals rather than pets and stating that he and Hana were on the same boat. Et tu, Liam? HOW MANY TIMES DOES HANA HAVE TO TELL YOU GUYS SHE NEVER HAD TOYS.

• I'm imagining poor young Maxwell realizing that peacocks don't like hugs and now I'm sad ☹️

• So the set up to the group scene is that none of these characters have truly experienced the joy of cuddling cute pets. It's not much even by way of a group scene, just a cute scene where the MC can direct Tiny the little calf to cuddle all these sad sad people (pushed into embroidery lessons and diplomacy sessions as children!) and cure Bertrand of his cow-suspicion (cowspicion?). The more pets you have with you the cuter it is, coz the two corgis go about acquainting themselves with everyone - the cat, the cows, everybody.

• ROE REFERENCE! We see Jess and Blake spearheading a successful business as caterers and wedding planners (did Jess take coaching from Chaz's sister-in-law Carmen? 😁) and they leave it vague (as expected, since Jess' romantic relationship with Blake is determinant - as is the possibility that Liam and Jess could be related by marriage if the RoE MC chose Leo lol) whether they're romantically involved or not, but at least this way I know they're happy with their jobs!

• Apparently they'd catered at enough disaster weddings that they decided they could do a better job

• I have two questions:

1. Did Leo ever recommend Carmen? I'm guessing not since based on whether the RoE MC married him or not, he'd probably feel more comfortable recommending family/friends than someone who - in a different playthrough - probably never really met him.

2. Why is Liam helping Bertrand and Savannah with contacts for their wedding when we ended up doing most of the searching and finding ourselves?? 🧐

• BertVannah seem to want a mix of local and Cordonian traditions: Savannah wants to recapture her parents' wedding by riding a horse down the aisle, and Bertrand asks Liam to officiate, as a royal. Maxwell and Hana will be in charge of entertainment and decorations...and the MC should not move a muscle because Bertrand has already decreed us pregnant.

• Savannah's ex Chuck is a buff ginger, and an already insecure Bertrand is made even more insecure at the sight of him. Another on the list of things PB expects us to fix in the Walker Ranch. Drake owes me both in cash, fancy hats and a lifetime supply of free smoked BBQ ribs after all this. The kind of shit a pregnant royal is expected to do...

• Time for Drake diamond scene - which is a mostly fluffy scene that takes place close to a river nearby which has a great view of the sunrise and sunset, and a ride atop a kayak.

• Here's the important stuff you can get from this scene:

- Drake knows how to build stuff (we knew this already, but here Drake talks specifically about how he and Savannah would build rafts)

- Drake sucks at taking compliments, but Drake stans who saw their MC's intro to TRH already knew that 🤭

- You get to flex your paddling muscles. Drake is...Impressed™

- Lovely sunshine

- A cute story about how Drake and Savannah had a canonball contest at this river, and happy memories of his Dad being just their dad for once, not dad + King Guard

- Drake gets to talk about the mark his father left on him, and how carefree he used to be before Jackson's death

- You can revive the cannonball contest with Drake before you head back to the estate, and if you're married you share a passionate kiss. The writers went to great lengths to describe how passionate the kiss wasqqq

If you're married to Drake, this spot is described as 'romantic' and 'private', the MC makes a joke about being the "First Mate" of Drake's heart, the usual variations. Drake also mentions that he hopes to emulate his father's way of parenting once he himself becomes a father. I'm also guessing the story of how his father and mother used to visit this lake before they had children would have an implied added importance to a married Drake trying for a child.

Funny how the assassination attempt on Liam always ends up revolving more around what it did to Drake than what it did to Liam. Both in the original Book 2 Italian Restaurant Scene where it was first referenced, and here (Drake's restaurant scene is also the only scene that highlights how that particular attack affected Liam - if you don't buy this scene, the attacks are mentioned in a more offhand way by Constantine when we confront him, and Liam still doesn't have a word to say). Stop. What happened to Liam happened to him. Stop making it all about Drake.

• Also why does Drake keep insisting the MC helped him find Savannah? She didn't. He spotted the envelope. He saw the address. He deduced where in Paris it was and tried to check it out. The only help we could provide was convincing him to stay and listen to her, and even that was optional.

• The MC wakes up wondering if she's going to feel nauseous, which then leads to the realization that it could be morning sickness. That's the most random race to use a pregnancy test I've seen.

• The result is negative, and the LI wakes up to the MC telling them about the result of the pregnancy test. The reactions to the news are identical. They follow roughly this template:

I can headcanon that Hana is actually feeling and understanding the MC's pain when she says "that's not silly at all", but I won't. I refuse to do the heavy work for the writers.

• In any case, there are some guests, and only Hana seems to know who they are.

• My face as it goes from seeing Kiara, Olivia, Penelope and Madeleine (yes, in that order):

• Sooo it looks like this week we're going to have a clash of the country and the courtly. Uh oh. I don't see this ending very well...unless there's a deus ex machina coming our way.

• General Thoughts:

- This chapter is filler, as expected, but it's the kind of filler meant to set up the major problems in that place. And there's plenty hinted at in this chapter alone: solving the financial troubles of the ranch, the clash of cultures that will come with the court ladies being guests, winning over Leona, learning about Drake's and also Bianca's past, Bertrand's insecurities. It's going to take a couple chapters to untangle all that!

- My guess is that the MC is possibly pregnant, but got a false negative (esp if she's nowhere near her expected time for her period), and will probably find out during Bertrand and Savannah's wedding? IDK. Most people I know will wait to see if they get their periods first (I did that too, waited a couple days after the expected day just to be sure), because that's when your hCG levels are high enough to show in your urine sample. That was a waste of a perfectly good pregnancy test, MC!

- The variations are very few, besides the scene where they all get new outfits and references to the MC and her spouse by different people including Blake and Jess. Perhaps there may be an LI scene coming soon.

- I mentioned earlier that Leona may be there as a way for the writing team to retcon Bianca's departure, since in the original series all we are told us was that she "was...struggling" after Jackson's death and left for the States at some point, leaving her children behind. Not a lot of people were very happy about this and though she was portrayed as a positive character in Book 3 (Drake's playthrough), it wasn't convincing enough. Leona is possibly there as a way to soften the audience to Bianca, and perhaps to get us a plausible reason for her leaving without her children. I'm not sure what could justify not taking them along, but okay.

- So Drake in his scene tells us that they came to the ranch as kids, but there is that matter of Savannah having been there long enough at some point to have had a boyfriend. I'm wondering if she spent some time on the ranch while Drake had gone to college.

- Also...if that's what happened, why was France even an option for her to bring up Bartie if she'd been in touch with her mother. Why did France, a place where she had very few contacts or living experience, win out over a place she was familiar with and where she had family?

- Leona's very Drake-like...but with an actual job that she's probably good at.

- Leona's also going to be Unimpressed™ for the most of her time in this book, with her probably becoming a little more impressed towards the end. Told you she'd be The Unimpressed Sikh Child (if you still have trouble with this meme, it's a character from a Bollywood film about a magical school called Aabra Ka Dabra. Here's some additional context from desi comedians and former Pretentious Movie Reviewers Kanan Gill and Biswa Kalyan Rath to illustrate why Unimpressed Sikh Child is so awesome:)

"Stop trying to impress people. Impress people with how unimpressed you are." If that isn't what Leona is doing. One wry expression and that's all it takes for all of Cordonia's royalty and nobility to fall over each other to prove themselves to her.

- Leona is an ass but you've got to respect the way she plays that game.

- I hope the writers don't forget that Kiara and Savannah were...yknow...good friends. Given how badly she was treated in Book 3 (and the narrative treated her really, really badly. Like I'm pretty sure some of you might have no idea just how badly she's been treated), I have serious doubts.

- Will we get a Hana or Maxwell diamond scene next? A good one or mostly just fluff? Let's see.

- Will we get another flashback scene? Maybe. It's possible. Bianca would remember something.

- One thing I do know for sure is that there is going to be more of Perfect Angel Savannah and Bumbling Bertrand. I'm not looking forward to it.

• Next: I'll be doing TRR Book 1's QT for Chapter 6 as well! Hopefully it will be ready by Friday. As for this series...until next week, folks!

#long post #the royal heir #trh quick thoughts #trh qts #king liam #hana lee #maxwell beaumont #drake walker #texas walker ranch

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kpopchangedme · 6 years ago

Text

Saint-Agnès de Roma | Mark Tuan

A scholarship student like you has no business hanging out with the cool, filthy rich, teens of your private Academy... But somehow you still end up playing a naughty game with that one guy…

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

Protagonists: Mark Tuan & You

Word count: 8.2k

Lysandre’ note: FINALLY POSTING A NEW FIC. Trying to see if my shadowban is gone for ever and ever and ever. :’D I’m excited (can’t you tell?) and hope you like this.

Snippet: “You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now. He smiled, face glowing, illuminated only by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. Mark had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky. “Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?””

It was the long weekend of Thanksgiving, which for the rest of the students of the country, meant enjoying great food with their loving families. To the students of Saint-Agnès de Roma however, it was merely an opportunity to leave the dormitory and go wild for four days straight. If Jackson – the youngest son of the Wang family, and occasionally your best friend – was the one telling this story, he’d probably put it that way: Thanksgiving was the Saint-Agnès get-fucked Holiday. For all those ridiculously rich teenagers that long weekend meant; ski trips to the Rocky Mountains, manors deserted of any parental figures, countless parties and even shopping sprees to London or Paris.

You couldn’t care less about all that.

For you, every year, holidays only meant having the girl’s senior dormitory all to yourself. For a few nights only, you wouldn’t be woken up by your roommate’s grinding her teeth, your studies wouldn’t be delayed by some jock disrupting the peace and quiet of the library. Thankfully, they were only a few students that stayed over during the rare weekends of freedom: the ones with family issues so bad they’d rather be here than home, and the ones with an official school punishment.

You were neither; the exception, the scholarship peasant, there merely to make others feel better about themselves.

This year’s get-fucked Holiday however, you had agreed to do something quite unorthodoxy.

Soothing imaginary wrinkles on your skirt, you breathed in slowly to gather courage as you neared the Wang’s mansion. You were beginning to wonder why you accepted to come in the first place. You shouldn’t have given in to your best friend’s plea, him begging didn’t make you special in any way. Jackson had always been extra like that. He was a social butterfly and he was ‘close’ with everyone and their mothers. You guys were polar opposites and there were days where you were convinced Jackson believed himself to be the center of the universe, which was only partially right.

Still, even with his amazing social skills, sometimes it seemed that Jackson couldn’t understand the most basic things about humans in society: Birds of a feather flock together.

No matter how hard he’d try, his friends would never accept you.

It wasn’t true that finally joining one of his little ‘get-togethers’ would suddenly make you fit in with the cool crowd. Besides, it’s not like you even wanted those rich brats to like you. You’d gone through Middle School and most of High School invisible. You could endure what was left of Senior year being known as "that kid”. It wouldn’t kill you and you’d much rather spend your Friday night alone at the dorm, binging the latest tv show on Netflix, than with all of them.

Unfortunately, Jackson would never forgive you if you bailed out now. He freaked out when you tried to refuse his invitation for the hundredth time. He kept insisting tonight was going to be the ‘greatest night of your life’. Unfortunately, if all the invitations to his previous parties were anything to go by, you bet you’d still hear this argument to try to convince you to come to the next one too… And all the ones after that.

Jackson couldn’t stand the idea of people staying on the sidelines, and you knew why. He was just as righteous and idealistic as his father, Mr. Wang – probably the only billionaire in the world who always insisted to be called by his first name.

Ruiju Wang was one of the biggest benefactors of, not only the Middle School of Sacred Heart and its big sister’s Saint-Agnès de Roma Academy but also of the local orphanage. That was the only reason a kid like you got to meet a golden spoon heir like Jackson in the first place. You being a big bookworm and nerd was only coincidental, and Ruiju, seeing your potential, offered to the Sisters of the orphanage to sponsor your studies in the top schools of the area. You had always been thankful, graduating from Saint-Agnès Academy, despite your unfortunate background, guaranteed you’d get into one of the best universities of the world.

Thanks to the Wang’s gigantic fortune – mostly made in the late 70s by grandma Zhou, who Jackson once told you built a highly illegal traffic ring of tobacco and opium in British controlled Hong Kong – you now had a promising future. Perhaps that’s why you hated to disappoint your best friend. A future was a gift most orphans of the world would kill for.

Perhaps that’s also why you made it to his giant wooden front door, Friday of this Thanksgiving Holiday. Your finger hovered for a short second over the doorbell, still hesitating to join the party. But even so, your choice had already been made, you promised Jackson...

Seconds later, you were already following your very excited friend through the maze of corridors. It seemed you were heading to the East living room where you had already been countless times for the Wang’s charity events. It was an isolated part of the house, as opposed to where the rooms of the three living servants – but they called them employees – were. Ruiju and Sophia Wang had left for Australia to visit their eldest son and his family. Jackson opted out, favouring this little get together instead.

“I am sooooo glad you came y/n! You are not going to regret this!”

You could only lie through your teeth, this would be your first party ever and you didn’t belong here at all. If it was anything close to what you heard from rumours at school or seen in 90s teen movies, you’d flee without hesitation.

“TA-DAH!”

Jackson threw the doors of the living room open in front of you, spreading his arms widely. The small group of partygoers inside turned to stare at your entrance, as though you dramatically interrupted the most serious talk ever. He wasn’t kidding when he said it would be a small gathering, there was only around ten people, and you knew all of them from school.

“Wow, isn’t this a sight to behold.” Salome – head of the Senior’s Girl Dormitory, Captain of the Girl’s Lacrosse team and second-best student of Saint-Agnès – giggled, staring at you up and down. She was the devil incarnate and you threw an accusing glare at Jackson, who had conveniently not mentioned her being here. She hated you for always placing first despite lacking the help of expensive private tutors and made sure your life was hellish because of it. “How’d you manage to leave school y/n? I bet your convent strongly opposed.”

“I took the bus.” You answered sarcastically, choosing to ignore her last insinuation. You weren’t a nun, and you took the glass of colourful punch Jackson was already handing you as if to prove it.

You drank the cold alcoholized juice, walking closer to the group. It tasted like what you always imagined a vacation to the Caribbean would; sugary, with too much stuff going on, but overall enjoyable. Tonight would be your first time really drinking alcohol, but you were determined to try to blend in and that clearly meant boozing. A lot.

“I didn’t know public transportation served this neighbourhood,” Salome mused, frowning in disapproval.

It didn’t. You always had to walk 30 minutes after the nearest bus stop to make it to the Wang’s.

“Anyway, I’m glad you could join us.” A dangerous smile stretched her lips and you swear you saw Mark Tuan – descending of a long lineage of Saint Agnès alumnae and infamous serial-dater – squeeze her shoulder to ease her. It looked like these two were on again, his right arm was stretched to enclose her against his chest, as if afraid she’d dare breathe if he’d let go for a second.

“Everyone, this is my best friend y/n, she goes to Saint-Agnès too.” Jackson beamed as you carefully sat at the last empty spot of their circle. In front of you, Salome exchanged a long look with her friend Marissa – a total bitch from a new money family. The others all smiled and nodded, nonchalant at best. You had known most of them for years although you’d never spoken, and you were pretty sure they also already knew who you were. “Be nice, she’ll join our game! Where were we?”

“Katy was about to tell us about the weirdest place she has ever woken up in!” Salome laughed and Katy’s boyfriend Luis – the grandnephew of the Tsar of Bulgaria, or whatever – groaned, embarrassed for her.

“Come on, tell us!” Someone else’s pressed on, impatient. “It can’t be bad enough for you to strip.”

Immediately it clicked, and your gaze widened, staring at the pile of abandoned socks in the middle of the circle. Apparently, even filthy rich teenagers had nothing better to do than playing dumb games at parties. Still, you were glad their attention had left you completely.

Truth or Strip was sort of a legendary game at Saint-Agnès de Roma, and, as far as you knew, it was the first time an outsider was witnessing the closed circle of cool kids playing it for real. Maybe your luck just turned, this was a great behavioural observation opportunity.

“I once woke up in a…” Katy paused for effect and Luis tilted his head, frowning in anticipation. “... Gentlemen’s Club in Miami!”

“Boooo!” Marissa exclaimed as soon as the confession left her mouth. “Who hasn’t?”

You laughed as everyone did, certain 99,9% of the world’s population had never even set foot in that sort of exclusive place.

“BUT,” Katy raised a finger to defend herself, “the night actually started in Los Angeles!”

Impressed clapping followed, and you smiled in your glass as their sick oversharing game moved on. Apparently, you were as invisible here as you were in school, which was a relief, even if you promised Jackson to make friends. Everybody got drunker by the minute and almost an hour later, they were still playing the game.

Jinyoung Park – of Park Films, by far the largest movie production company in Asia – lost his shirt in a very gentlemanly manner, refusing to give away the name of his first conquest. Mark Tuan lost his too, refusing to share the weirdest place where he ever had sex. Chao-Xing – daughter of a Chinese real estate mogul, rumoured to own more than a third of Vancouver – took off her tights to keep the phone number of Justin Bieber her dirty little secret. Hyunwoo Son – of the South Korean ambassador’s family – gave up his (rather outdated) Ralph Lauren’ Polo to avoid spilling the tea on the craziest thing he used his diplomatic immunity for.

Everyone kept losing pieces of clothing except you, and you were starting to feel the dangerous buzz of the alcohol through your veins. So far it was all fun and games, perhaps it really was a great thing you’d come to this party.

Looking at them making fools of themselves felt surreal and oddly satisfying.

Studying these people in their own habitat could be great for your plan of pursuing an Anthropology Major. It made you feel like your very own Jane Goodall in the Kenya jungle, learning how to interact with primates.

“Jackson!” Jaebum Im – rumoured to be the secret love child of a top actress and one of Hyundai’s already married chairmen – slapped a hand on the built shoulder of your close friend, ready to get him to confess some horrible deeds. “Who’s your first love?” There was a collective roll of eyes at the easy question, but it caught your attention. “Truth or Strip!”

“Y/n,” Jackson answered immediately, not embarrassed the least by it and you blushed when everyone looked at you. Your friend was way too honest at this game, he only lost a single sock so far. He bluntly answered almost everything.

“What!?” Marissa – both of them infamously dated for a year during your time at Sacred Heart’ Middle School – sneered, staring dagger at you. “When?”

“My family sent me at least a day per week at her place when we were young, so we got really close.”

“Your parents sent you to... a-an orphanage?” Her mouth dropped, clearly horrified by the idea. “Is that even legal?”

“Yes.” You replied before Jackson could get offended for you, grinning at her unemotionally. “We used to play together every weekend since we were 8 years old.”

“Well well…” Salome, who seemed to have forgotten your existence until then, smiled diabolically. Perhaps she really had forgotten, everyone was pretty drunk by then. After all, the party was already going on a full swing when you joined. “Looks like we haven’t played with you yet… What should we ask y/n?”

“It’s not how the game works.” Youngjae Choi – golden son of one of the teachers, Mrs. Choi, and main soloist of the Saint-Agnès choir – cut in, trying to stop her. Half of an official nerd himself, he was already too familiar with her dirty shenanigans. Lord knows what he was doing here tonight, maybe your common friend forcefully dragged him too. “It’s Jackson’s turn to ask!”

“Fine.” She rolled her eyes, miffed. “But it has to be y/n since she hasn’t played yet.”

“Y/n…” Jackson frowned, seemingly unable to think of a question invasive enough to satisfy the vultures, but still soft as to not make you regret you’d come. “Um…” Also, he already knew everything about you. Growing up in a Catholic orphanage wasn’t exactly the most propitious background for nurturing some dark and wild secret.

“Come on…” Another one sighed.

“Are you still a virgin?” Jaebum asked curious, earning himself a warning glare from the host.

“It’s too obvious she is,” Katy giggled, turning his more innocent question into something displeasing. As though being a virgin was nasty and shameful, you clenched your jaw. “Has she even ever been kissed to begin with?” From the corner of your eyes, you spotted Tuan straightening, probably ready to join in and make fun of you.

“Give me a second, I’ll think of something.” Jackson – your actual first kiss, by the way – ignored them, but you felt your face warm up.

Ultimately, the impending question didn’t matter, because you knew just the way to remain in control of their game, stay ahead and not give them the pleasure of embarrassing you. It’s the only advantage to being picked on often, you learn to understand the rules better than the ones making them. It’s like chess, if you’re always a move ahead, they can never truly get to you.

To survive tonight and fit it, you’d have to channel your inner Jane Goodall; think like a primate; become a primate.

It was a good thing you were done with your second drink. Already, your mind was numb in the most perfect way, you felt courageous and unbeatable. You were going to show them – those rich brats – show them you weren’t scared of anything. You could be fun. You could play and act dumb too. You could misbehave just like them.

Just as Jackson was opening his mouth to ask something, you started to pull at your dark t-shirt, riding it up and out of your suede skirt. The room automatically fell silent, everything stood still. The only thing you could hear was the sound of the stereo in the background, playing the dirty pop of the Hit 40. All the other girls only had stripped off their socks, tights or blazers so far, not wanting to take off anything more substantial, but you weren’t like others.

You’d rather expose yourself before they’d try to expose you.

After you threw your t-shirt on the pile of already stripped clothes, you sat there in silence as the boys cooed, highly conscious of your bra and mini skirt. Thank God you were tipsy enough to still act confident. Like another – primate you.

“What the heck?!” Jackson yelped, gaze crazy wide as he looked anywhere else but your exposed skin. “I haven’t asked my question!”

You shrugged, playing cool, “My answer is Strip.” Turning to Salome, you mimicked her earlier smirk. Right now, she looked like she had swallowed something nasty.

See? Virgins can be so much fun.

“Awesome...” Jaebum clicked his tongue, clearly entertained. “Looks like it’s your turn now, brainiac.” The boy’ Lacrosse captain handed you a third colourful drink, eyes dangerously lingering on the curve of your boobs.

By your standards, Im was the most handsome guy at the Academy, not that you’d ever tell anyone. He appeared out of nowhere at Saint-Agnès in 10th grade. According to the rumours, he earned himself this one-way trip by stealing his dad’s favourite sports car and crashing it into the Han River. His father was said to have sent him to Catholic boarding school only because his mother cried and begged for it not to be Military Academy. Jaebum was a ‘no comment’ type of guy, so nobody ever got to the bottom of his story. If it was true, you had to admit his mom horridly failed him. You were pretty sure Saint-Agnès’ Reverend Mother was scarier than any drill inspector could ever dream to be.

Accepting the drink, you blushed for everyone to see. It felt as though Jaebum’s eyes were fire on your neckline, as though it were his fingers and not simply his gaze that was on you. You didn’t feel exposed, you felt seen. Every single guy in the room – except Jackson – had his eyes glued to you and surprisingly, it wasn’t as bad as you thought it would be.

“Let’s stop now.” The host gloomily stared away. You knew him enough to be aware he thought he was responsible for letting his schoolmates corrupt you.

“Yes, let’s play another game.” Salome agreed all too eager, having recovered from your little stunt. You smiled widely as you took another big sip of the tropical punch, aware she was fuming.

“The Knot?” Marissa suggested.

“Strip Pong,” Luis replied, running his hand up and down Katy’s thigh.

You rolled your eyes as the ideas kept coming, all games you had no clue how to play and clearly involving losing more clothes and dignity. Mark Tuan snorted at your dramatic gesture, catching your attention.

He was also childhood best friends with Jackson, but you never hung out together after you entered High School. Jackson was the only one who kept publicly addressing you, whereas that jerk played the other kids’ scheme, the invisibility one. Mark offered you one of his legendary lopsided grins as you held his gaze. You quirked a brow in distaste for him to see, a part of you wanted that almighty guy to know he had no effect on you whatsoever. Not anymore anyway, you were way past that naive 11 years old phase where you thought he was kinda cute. Nowadays you weren’t one of his fangirls, dying for him to notice her.

Coming from alumni and rich – you-have-no-idea-how-rich – kind of family, Mark Tuan stood at the very top of Saint-Agnès eligible bachelor hierarchy, the type you bet student’ parents slyly mentioned at family suppers: “Are you friend with the Tuan kid? I hear he’s as beautiful as his mother. She was a Miss Universe in the late 80s.”: “Isn’t the oldest son of the Tuans in your class? He’s old money, they left Mainland China many generations back.” or perhaps even: “He’s worth 20 billion at the very least. Please, do shag him and get knocked up”.

You, however, had no parents shoving you his way. Mark Tuan had been the quiet and hard to get close with type even in Middle School, and of course, it took a Jackson Wang to break down his walls. But he wasn’t the shy kid following you two around anymore. Now Mark had found his own species and returned to the wild. Like all of them, he was all about Gucci tees, yachts, drugs, fun and whatever. You definitely hadn’t seen him at Sunday mass in a while.

From what you heard, he had become as superficial as these other rich jerks, going through girls as models go through clothes. Curiously, Salome always seemed to find a way to pull him back somehow. Why even bother? These two started dating on and off between Middle and High School and never stopped. The same summer you and Jackson had a fling. Why did Tuan like the she-devil though? Even Jackson didn’t have any clue, nor could justify his friend taste for the dark side.

Filthy rich players like Tuan weren’t a ‘catch’, they were the poison of modern society. They thought they could get away with anything.

“Suck and Blow.” Salome decided on the game Authority herself, unaware her very shirtless boyfriend was still checking you out. And boy was that a sight, even you had to admit it. He might’ve grown up to be a piece of shit, but Mark had become one damn good looking turd.

Once everyone agreed, you all stood and – Thank God – got dressed. You picked up your own t-shirt from the pile to put it on, relieved. Sure, you were confident, but you didn’t want to chill with them half-naked all night either. Done, the party spread in a circle again and, sensing your confusion, Youngjae pulled you by the wrist to his right. He then leaned in to whisper in your ear, not as subtle as he intended to: “We just pass a card around with our mouths without dropping it. It’s about timing, the pair that drops it has to deal with a punishment.”

“Ew, that’s disgusting.” You grimaced and he shrugged, apparently already familiar with the game. You didn’t peg him for the type to come to these parties often, but perhaps you were wrong. Perhaps the choir sweetheart had a secret thing for booze and dirty games… How intriguing, you turned to consider him anew. “Are you good at this?”

“I...” Youngjae hesitated a second too long, doubt shading his features, “am really, really bad.” He confessed like a sin, making you laugh. He was cute in a ‘pure guy’ kind of way, you were familiar through Jackson and often shared a table to study quietly at the library. Youngjae was also in Saint-Agnès’ top 5 and didn’t come from a particularly wealthy family, thereby an ally. Jackson once told you that Youngjae attending the Academy was in his mother’s teaching contract. His financial background made him comfortable and relatable somehow. At least you had someone like him here with you tonight. Jackson was way too busy hosting to notice you didn’t know where to put yourself.

“What’s the punishment?”

“Well, obviously, there’s a risk you’ll… kiss, by accident.” He cleared his throat, accidentally adorable. They were far worse fates than sharing a kiss with him, you decided. “And if you drop the card, the usual pun-”

“Have you never played, y/n?” Tuan, who somehow had appeared to your own right chuckled, amused by how clueless you were. “Cute.” You gulped, staring in his almond eyes, he was about the same height as you now. In your Middle School friendship years, he’d been shorter by many centimetres, never managing to grow fast enough to catch up to you. “Don’t worry.” Mark plucked his lips your way and winked, gaze dropping in your neckline. “I’m good enough at this for us two.” If you were reminiscing of young innocent feelings, his douchebag attitude definitely brought you back down to the present.

Strong of your alcohol confidence, you feigned to look over your shoulder in confusion. “Are you talking to me?” You pressed your chest with both hands like honoured to be blessed by his recognition. “Can you really see me?” Tuan blinked, taken aback and Youngjae snorted to your left. He was always a great public, easygoing and always laughing at your stupid jokes.

“Of course, y/n. Your bra was kinda hard to miss earlier.”

Having recovered, Mark’s rude tongue darted through his parted lips to taunt you and your face warmed treacherously. It had been forever since you two last spoke or stood this close. The way Mark was looking at you now felt unsafe, predaceous. You almost took a step away instinctively, but that wouldn’t have been a very ‘primate y/n’ thing to do so you held back.

“Good girl gone bad... I’m all here for you.”

Instead, at that, you rolled your shoulders and exchanged a glance with Youngjae.

“Well, you must not know a lot of good girls, Mark… We’re the very best at being bad.”

Youngjae immediately coughed and the player’s brows shot up, a new glimmer in his eyes. What the fuck was primate y/n doing, flirting? Why would you ever say something like that? Jesus.

“Well, colour me intrigued.” Mark exhaled before taking a sip of his cup and you stared, trying not to hate yourself for saying shit like that aloud. “Then a good girl like you probably has a few bad tricks to teach me.”

You were about to reply with something – hopefully clever – for him to sod off, when Jackson announced the start of the game, standing on the other side of the circle. Your jaw dropped, realizing it meant you’d play between Youngjae and Mark. You’d sooner eat a live spider than kiss that jerk. Oblivious to your inner turmoil, Jackson winked at you, taking out a credit card from his wallet. (Lord knows where it had been!) Without wasting a second more, he put it on his mouth, sucked air and lowered to Salome to his right, passing her the card.

The game had started. Suck. Blow. Suck. Blow.

Pretty simple and self-explanatory. You tried to concentrate on watching the others play with ease to prepare yourself. If you mastered the technique, there was nothing to be afraid of. Still, you suspected it was a lot harder than it looked though and you peeked at Tuan, nervous. In a matter of seconds, it was your turn and Youngjae lowered himself above you, brows furrowed in concentration. You sucked the card successfully, disgusted at the sensation of wetness on your lips. Dreading the next exchange, you turned to the man to your right, not without a certain sense of responsibility. You were usually good at games and you could own this one too. Tuan’s face drew nearer, and you stilled, trying to make it easier for him. You passed the card without any difficulties. Thank God, you sighed, watching it make its way faster and faster around the circle.

You would get herpes because of this stupid party game. Ew.

You lacked time to dwell on that new disgusting realization before it was your turn again. Clearly, the unspoken rule was to accelerate to make things harder. No one had dropped the card yet. Youngjae chuckled gladly when he successfully passed it to you once more and you tried to ignore the dirty wetness from all the other players this time. This time, Mark wrapped his hand around your neck to stabilize himself when you turned to him. Other players had done it too and it made the exchange easier, so you tried not to think much of it. Like you did earlier, when you felt him suck, you blew to let the card go. Only this time, to your absolute horror…

The card fell.

You barely managed to retreat away from Mark’s plucked lips in a panic to avoid any skin contact. Drunkenly stumbling backwards, you hit Youngjae who held you up with strong hands. The small gathering collectively laughed at the fail and Mark winced, falsely apologetic.

“Gee!” He snapped his fingers like a 30s cartoon character who just made a blunder. You stared, bewildered as he bent to pick up the credit card, tossing it to Jackson under a thunder of woos. Mark lost on purpose. You were almost sure of it. Next, to the awfully serious host, Salome was livid, looking like she was about to murder you on the spot.

“Seven Minutes in Heaven!” Bambam – a 2nd generation heir from Thailand, newly transferred after being successively kicked out of his four previous boarding schools in Asia (and very proud of it) – announced your punishment.

Unfortunately, you knew how to play that game.

“W-What?!” You gasped in dismay, desperately turning to Youngjae for help as Mark shrugged at you, smirking.

Seven Minutes in Heaven?! More like: your own personal Hell.

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Salome crossed her arms in front of her petite frame, head about to burst. “She obviously dropped it on purpose!” Your mouth opened in befuddlement. It was the stupidest accusation in the history of mankind. “Mark.” She warned, and the young man shrugged again, unbothered by her dirty glare.

“Rules are rules.” He said with a laugh.

“It’ll be the most boring seven minutes of your life, Mark!” She snapped, lacing venom in her words and the others self-conceited asstwats stifled their laughs.

“Excuse me?” Insulted, you narrowed your eyes at the brunette. Alcohol was apparently making you forget that these rich brats’ opinion of you couldn’t matter less. Boring? Why was she taking her anger out on you? You weren’t the one who failed the game and it’s not like you were trying to seduce her disgusting boyfriend.

“Please y/n, everyone knows you’re frigid.” Spiteful, Salome snickered, but no one found her funny this time. Jaebum even took an instinctive step between you two. Wait… Was she jealous, of you? The thought made you secretly ecstatic. Jeez, she should keep Mark Tuan on a leash if she cared that much. It’s not like he wasn’t running around giving it to anybody in the first place.

“Sally, don’t–” Even he tried to stop her, but she cut him off.

“I mean, isn’t she saving herself to take the veil or something?”

Your jaw clenched at that one last insult. You were aware of your prudish reputation, an overly Catholic childhood tends to stick to anyone, but you hated it. Salome regularly used that to publicly ridicule you. This time was different though, and she was either too drunk or stupid – or both – to realize that. She had just shown you her entire hand.

You smiled, she’d given you leverage, the upper hand, something invaluable you never had before. Now you knew her weakness.

“Jackson?” The summoned boy winced at your call, apparently dying a thousand deaths. It was too late now, you were worked up and he recognized that expression on your face. There was no point trying to stop you. “Where’s the closet?” You asked, as if there was some sort of unholy place specially dedicated to playing that game.

“W-What?” He couldn’t have looked more alarmed

“Tuan and I obviously need a heaven.” You pressed on, rolling your eyes. You should’ve stopped, but you were getting way too defiant.

“We do?” Mark whispered for only you to hear, slight panic now showing.

“Rules are rules.” Primate y/n replied to him sarcastically.

You wouldn’t have played Seven Minutes in Heaven with that asshole just to abide by the rules of this stupid party, but if it made Salome lose her mind... Then it was the only reason you needed to be willing. You’d do almost anything to give her a taste of her own medicine.

Youngjae pulled at your elbow, mouthing a very clear ‘don’t’ as a warning, probably thinking you had a death wish. There was no way she’d let you live when she got back to the dormitory after the Holidays. Too bad for her, the she-devil was already making your life a living Hell. You grinned at Tuan, trying to look convincing. You didn’t see him anymore, he wasn’t that former childhood friend nor the school’s hottest manwhore.

Now he was it, your own personal vendetta.

“A closet?” Jackson breathed out, mind completely blank. You bet if it was anyone else playing, he’d laugh and cheer, turning into his usual overdramatic bubbly self. Right now, he looked nothing but dejected.

“To show Tuan a not-so-boring time.” You enlightened, seriously exasperated. This time everyone else came alive to guide you two. Mark, who followed with heavy feet, clearly had a change of heart, but you didn’t care. He was the one who dropped the card. He didn’t have to do it for laughs, to bluff like that. What an ass.

‘We’re still young and they aren’t all that bad. You need to learn to have fun y/n!’

That’s what Jackson had said to convince you to come. I’m trying, you thought, I’m being; not boring. You bet now he was regretting ever inviting you.

You had to enter a guestroom to find an actual closet and it was empty and surely uncomfortable, like pretty much anything in the Wang’s gigantic mansion. Still, in a daze, you stepped it, followed closely by Mark. As soon as the door closed behind, you heard a chair being dragged to block it.

Now if either of you wanted to make a run for it, you couldn't. Great….

“Why’d you do that for?” You immediately ushered and hit his arm, freaking out at the dramatic shift of atmosphere. Before, you were sure he lost on purpose and he must have had intricate ulterior motives. There was no way one of the biggest playboys of the Academy did that just to earn himself seven minutes in the dark with your nerdy ass.

“Weren’t you begging for this to happen just now?” Mark drew nearer and you backed away until you couldn’t escape anymore. His arms found the wall on each side of your head. That proud asshole didn’t seem half as reluctant at the thought of you now that nobody could see him. This situation felt awfully intimate... Even though Salome was probably counting the seconds until she could open the doors.

“Besides, I haven’t done anything yet.” His whisper made you shiver as his breath fawned over your face.

You exhaled anxiously, staring back at him, oscillating. “Your girlfriend is going to kill me.” Perhaps you shouldn’t have drunk that much. Sure, you told Jackson you would try to fit in, but right now, with Mark, locked in this closet... It felt as though you had succeeded at becoming an entirely different person and you wondered if you’d find yourself back once the door reopened.

Jane Goodall did struggle after she left the primates to their jungle and returned to her own reality.

“Who?” He questioned innocently, “When I’ll date for real I won’t play around.” Mark’s right hand found your hip bone in the semi-darkness, thumb brushing your stomach through the fabric. You stilled, not knowing how to react to that. “Sally’s just a little intense,” he glanced down at your lips, “sorry she’s being hard on you.”

“That’s the understatement of the year.” The last world barely left your throat. From this close, this turd… He smelled kind of nice. Dammit.

“So… Are you really a good girl?” Mark hummed softly, leaning closer, voice deeper than the freaking Pacific ocean. Betraying goosebumps immediately spread on your skin. Right, you closed both eyes in defeat. That was why he made sure to lose the game. He knew it would turn out like this. “I bet it’s true...”

Mark's tongue darted out, catching the light and your eyes dropped on his lips. It was unfair. You weren’t prepared to face that kind of threat tonight. He was getting all predacious again and you were an easy prey. Sure, you hated the guy… When sober, collected, in control of yourself… Apparently, being pressed against a hot torso in the secrecy of a closet can change one’s perspective. You were almost trembling, blood boiling, body turned to stone; trapped.

“That you’re good at being bad.” Mark let out a weird small exhale, almost inaudible, tilting his head to the side.

Oh God, he was going to make this happen.

You had kissed boys before – OK fine, mostly Jackson and only when you were about twelve – but you had never made out in a dark closed space with anyone and surely that was bound to be sinful. Just being this close with Mark was surreal, electrifying, completely wrong. Did all guys smell like that? Jesus.

You were kind of expecting the Reverend Mother to appear and throw the door open, yelling at you and Mark to get on your knees and recite Hail Mary any seconds now.

His thumb pressed that spot on your hip and you inhaled sharply in apprehension, almost a purr. How humiliating, you’d never even made a sound like that. That jerk’s touch was more inhibiting than alcohol. Primate y/n was a traitor. Hopefully, you’d remember not to ever trust her again tomorrow morning, when you’d sobered up. Mark must have heard it because he smiled, face glowing, illuminated by the small rays of light coming through the door crack. He always had a dangerous animalistic smile, one exposing canines and baring far too many teeth, often it made him look spooky.

“Relax.” He commanded, hand climbing slowly on your side as his erratic breathing neared your cheek. “I’m not gonna jump you. You were such a tease earlier. Is this really your first time?”

Mark wasn’t that much of a talker in Middle School, this new him was the worst. He chuckled silently, unaware of your thoughts and a resolve birthed in your chest at his amusement. You weren’t about to let that guy boast later to the whole school about how inexperienced you were. Especially not to his bitchy non-girlfriend. Strong of determination and anticipation, you put your own hands around his hips, unsure where else they should go. You weren’t going to freak out. You weren’t going to be boring. You might as well go all out if primate you were about to do this to herself.

“No,” you lied, almost convincing your drunk self. “it’s not.”

“I’m gonna kiss you...” Mark announced with his alpha tone, not buying the lie. Although his statement should have sounded awkward, it made you shiver at the suspense. Through the tip of your fingers on his shirt, you felt his heart thump loudly in his chest. Was he nervous? Surely not, you bet he’d kissed a thousand girls in dark closets.

“Well…” You faked confidence again, acutely conscious of how hot he was now– in every possible way… Even if he was a disgusting manwhore. “Is it coming today or...”

Mark was still baring his toothy grin when your noses brushed. You’re the one who met his lips in the middle, surprisingly tilting your head to help.

He tasted of Caribbean punch, a mix between warm nights, fresh fruits and bonfire. It was addictive, not half-bad. Instantly, Mark’s kiss became insistent, his mouth opened against yours, adding pressure and you obeyed, too dazed to do anything or have second thoughts.

He was trapping you against the wall roughly, ravaging you. He had absolutely no mercy and you were pushing back with all your might to survive, hips, lips and hands all over. This wasn’t about the reality outside at all, any thought of the others completely vanished the second Mark slid his hand under your shirt. You let him do it, skin awaken by the touch, discovering a thousand new nerves on your body.

Yes, you had become another y/n.

That was the only explanation. A y/n that makes out in dark rooms with cool kids and grinds into them shamelessly, but just for seven minutes.

Seven extremely messy minutes.

Mark groaned in your mouth, skilled fingers caressing your stomach softly and you curved against him, craving more, possessed. Your skin was buzzing, like screaming, begging to feel him more. His left hand hiked up your body in a hurry, climbing under your t-shirt in your back and you prayed the door wouldn’t shed light on this scene. It would be terribly embarrassing; you were letting him put both of his hands up your shirt. Mark pressed his leg between yours that opened automatically, and your fingers entangled themselves in his hair, almost for support. He never broke the kiss. He too, probably knew better than to waste any second of whatever shared craziness this moment was.

“So good,” Mark grunted, words shaking to escape his throat and you opened your eyes in amazement, “but so bad.”

Shared hysteria. That was what this was.

You both weren’t done though. He adventured his left hand on the fabric of your bra and you froze briefly. Mark must have felt your hesitation because he kept it there. He didn’t push it further nor did he take it away and it felt weird. Like your heart was about to burst through your left breast for him to hold. Sometimes you dreamed of being touched like that, but it was even better than what you imagined, overpowering.

Even if it was by Mark Tuan, or perhaps even more frighteningly; because it was him. This was all Primate y/n’s doing, anyway, not yours.

The Reverend Mother would’ve had a heart attack if she knew where you were and with whom. Your head was spinning, imagination taking this even further. This deserved at least a thousand Hail Marys, a plethora of Rosaries.

“Fuck,” He whispered in your mouth, the sound like thunder. “Who knew.”

Not you.

You had no idea you were so easy, such a whore. He resumed kissing you as though this was perfectly normal, but perhaps he just couldn’t stop either. You could feel him through his pants, the bad boy wasn’t so unphased by you. This was so new, everything was exhilarating. Mark rocked between your legs, causing your eyes to roll back in your head. You were enjoying every second of this, you were right; Seven Minutes in Heaven with Mark Tuan was your own personal Hell. Whatever this was would haunt you later on for sure. The smell of his skin, the taste of his tongue, the touch of his hand. But you were shameless, you took it all. You didn’t have any second to waste before reality hit. Mark pushed against you again and you pressed closer involuntarily, wondering if he was doing it on purpose.

The direct friction on your tights and panties was going to make you lose your damn mind. You slid one of your own hands under his shirt to feel the abs you spotted earlier during the Strip or Truth game. You ran your nails on his body, and he moaned.

Mark Tuan, actually moaned while making out with you.

You stilled for a heartbeat, unsure if this was supposed to be good or not until he bit your lips, rolling it between his teeth. And you came alive again, because... Jesus. That was unexpected. And Lord, that felt like Heaven. Your hands slid to his back to pull him closer and Mark obliged, fingers caressing the curve of your boobs endlessly, every bit of skin not covered by your bra. In the moment, you wanted to ask him to touch you under the fabric, wanted to know if you would break, but your mouth was too busy being full of him.

As though he heard your thoughts, or unable to refrain from it anymore, Mark’s left hand finally slipped under your bra to touch your breast. He brushed your nipple, causing you to make another embarrassing inhuman sound, something low that he swallowed and kept to himself. Thankfully, Mark only became more eager after that. He used his other hand to press you harder on him through his pants, rolling his hips forward. Your whole body was ablaze, alive in a way it had never been before, and surprisingly Mark seemed as equally taken. His kisses were messy, his breathing on your face heavy as if he was running a marathon. According to your heart rate, you certainly were too.

Mark mumbled unintelligibly, something about his will failing and doing this sooner, as he slipped his free hand to where your thighs met. Before you could process what he said, he touched that forbidden place through your tights and panties, even just like that it felt overwhelming and dangerous. Instantly, you fidgeted and dug your nails in his skin. He hissed and stilled too, but you pulled at him, undecided on what you wanted to do next. Reality was still waiting outside that door.

“Mark…” He seemed to recognized the call for whatever it truly was, and his fingers started to move cautiously on the fabric.

“Shhh, don’t want them to hear, do we?” Mark’s head dropped in the crook of your neck to suck on your skin. Your whole body was humming at his touch, like wanting to be heard, to scream for the world to know.

Right. Reality. You covered your mouth with your hand, flustered. If you were still logical, sober and calm, you’d push him away, ask him to stop, but you didn’t want that. You wanted Mark to keep going, keep that up for an eternity, nothing else mattered. “Mark, this is s-so…”

Summoned, he grunted on your neck pleased you kept calling his name. “Good,” he asked, lips now brushing yours “being bad?”

Reprobate. Wrong. Lewd. Vile. Immoral. His fingers were still rubbing you, and you sighed, clinging to him, unable to say anything else. Perfect. Mind-blowing. Addictive. Perfectly right.

“Fuck, you’re so hot.” Hot.

“Me?” Hot. “Have you lost your mind?” You giggled and he joined, complicit.

“Yeah,” Mark’ hands abandoned their dirty deeds to cup your face, pulling you in for a deep kiss, “long ago.”

“When?” Seeing your frown, he grinned way too largely again. He was just about to answer when reality interrupted.

“ONE MINUTE!” Someone loud – very Bambam-esque – hit the door and you both jerked away, startled.

How many bases did you two run anyway? Suddenly, you wished you knew baseball enough to get the sexy metaphors. Was that only the first base? This felt like way more.

“Fuck,” Mark swore again, exhaling loudly. “Y/n, that was… so hot.” That word again. It was the first time someone used it to describe something about you. Then again, tonight felt like a night full of ‘firsts’. Mark reached for your skirt that had riled up your hips and pulled it downwards, hiding how far your game had gone. The fact that it was his first move gave away how accustomed he was to that kind of heated make-out sessions and you shook your head from side to side, remembering who you were with and why. Right. He was the player of Saint-Agnès de Roma, a manwhore… Surely that was why.

“Did you drop the card on purpose?” You asked hurriedly while he was making sure your t-shirt was back to its original place.

He blinked, staring at you for a long second like you were a dimwit. “Yes.”

“Why?” You were determined to leave this place with a clear answer.

“Well, y/n,” Mark murmured, pressing his lips on yours and running his tongue at the edge of them one last time, “I don’t think I could make myself any more obvious.”

“W-What?”

“TIME’S UP!” Someone yelled – yep, it was Bambam – letting the too cruel light shine on the scene inside the closet.

Thankfully, Mark was standing at a safe distance when the door opened. Still, he must have looked guilty somehow, because Jaebum applauded, impressed.

“Jesus Christ,” Jackson swore – a very rare occurrence – when he saw your ruffled hair and swollen lips.

Another day, you’d feel like hiding away, but, probably because of the rush of oxytocin and all that Caribbean Punch, tonight, primate you just shrugged it off. Your mind was caught up elsewhere, up in the clouds. No wonder that jerk was so popular with girls.

After those Seven Minutes in Heaven, you had learned three new things:

One, Mark Tuan could Jedi trick you into doing absolutely anything.

Two, you could make him lose his mind...

And three…

You sneaked a look his way while getting pulled by Jackson out of the (blessed) closet. Mark was strangely silent, letting his friends tease him without much reaction. He met your gaze and you misstepped, almost falling on the Wang’s luxurious carpet. Jackson caught you in extremis and your clumsiness made Mark snort, struggling to conceal his inhuman grin. There he was, making fun of you again.

And three... Tonight was obviously going to become a regular thing between you two.

And you weren’t the one making the rules.

|| M.List || GOT7 ||

270 notes · View notes

toloveawarlord · 5 years ago

Note

can you tell us a bit about your ikevamp ocs?

*crackles knuckles* Alright, but hear me out. I have currently 15 ocs (13 of them being children but is anyone surprised?) I will certainly be creating suitor specific ocs, but those typically come knocking at my door whenever I am playing a route so it’ll be a few days before I get any of those.

This is gonna be long so strap yourselves in fam.

I’ll start off with the first OC that I wanted created and that is *drum roll*

1. Amelia Earhart!

I wanted to have at least one oc that is history based like the rest of the bitey boys, and through my research, I settled on her. Or rather, she flew her airplane right into my oc pile and said “pick me! pick me! I am amazing!” and thus she was the first oc for Ikevamp.

Amelia or “Melia” as she goes by at the bar she owns in town, was plucked from her time by the Count after her final flight when she disappeared from time itself. In this story, she crashed at her destination but was seriously injured. The Count turned her into a vampire and then took her back to the mansion

I won’t spoil too much or there won’t a reason to write the story, but she ends up moving out of the mansion some time later and opens her own bar, which Arthur frequents as she assists him in finding women who won’t cause a fuss if he drinks their blood. Why did she leave the mansion? Guess I’ll have to write that story soon.

2. Alara Bayar

I’m a sucker for kids ending up in the care of the suitors, so I have my little baby Alara. Originally hailing from Turkey, her mother was forced into a marriage with a French noble and Alara came with the two to France. Her step-father barely acknowledges her, and is very cruel to the two. She witnesses an argument that ends in her mother’s death. Attempting to escape her feral step-father, she runs away and finds herself at the mansion late at night. Long story short, they vampire boys take her in as their own child. She was 6 years old when they met her and she has just turned 16 at the present of the game.

And now to get into the kids. Unlike my Ikerev Kids, I’m not planning on doing an origin toddler story for this bunch. I don’t want to run it into the ground. So instead, I’m going to focus on them as teenagers and have some one-shots of them from their toddler days or maybe do some headcannons about them. It’s up in the air at the moment.

Vanessa “Nessa” Bonaparte

As a child: Generally a happy and good “sister” to the other kids. She typically followed the rules and doesn’t argue with her dad or “Grandpa Count” when asked to do something.

As a Teenager: Loves swordplay more than any other hobby, sparring and training with her dad is her favorite thing. Attends a public Academy for school and is considered a social butterfly. She has plenty of human friends and cares for them deeply, despite knowing that once high school ends, that she will have to cut them off.

Lyric Mozart (Twin)

As a child: Intimidated by his father’s brilliance and cold nature, he struggled to learn to play the piano. He played the best when doing duets with his twin sister. Began violin lessons at the age of 8. Timid and soft-spoken, he was often left out of play because of his indecisiveness.

As a teenager- Prince Charming, according to his classmates. He solely plays the violin now, accompanying his sister as she plays the piano. He won as President of the Student Council as a second year student at the Academy. He is kind and thoughtful of his fellow students, but keeps the humans at arms length, afraid of rejection because of him being a vampire.

Aria Mozart (Twin)

As a child- Innate talent with the piano, reading musical composition was easy for her, but she struggled to play with how small her hands were. Much more outgoing than her brother, dragging him along with her when playing with the other kids. Vies for her father’s approval more than her twin.

As a teenager- More introverted and focused on her craft. She has a strained relationship with her father, feeling inferior to his skill and pours her energy into catching up with him. Tends to be a loner at school, spending most of her time in the music room, practicing. She struggles with her own identity as a musician.

Emery Newton

As a child- Overly curious and sneaky in nature. She blamed any and all accidents that happened in the mansion on Vanessa, knowing that if she played the cute and innocent card that she would not get in trouble. This only fueled her behavior to play pranks and cause mischief in the home.

As a teenager- Currently suspended from the academy for blowing up the science laboratory. She did it to spite the teacher who she claims is ill-qualified to teach them. She is currently studying along side her father, preferring this to school as she finds school dull and boring. Skips class often whenever she does attend.

Owen Da Vinci

As a child- Ring leader of the kids. If they all played together, he made the rules and was the only one who could change them. Hated losing and would bend the rules so that he could win. Could be a bit of a bully if things weren’t going his way.

As a teenager- Exudes charm and is always surrounded by both girls and boys. He competes in horse races and is the captain of the school team. He drinks the blood of some of his classmates but uses a drug to put them into a fog so that they don’t remember.

Alaina Conan Doyle

As a child - Cried all the time for attention. Thick as thieves with Emery. The two were practically inseperable.The biggest troublemaker of the girls. Even as child, her blood lust was hard to control. She couldn’t enter a public school until high school. Her thirst was easy to quench as a child, since she couldn’t drink that much blood.

As a teenager- Attends the academy but has to take a bottle of blood with her to sip on throughout the day. she calls them her smoothies to help with a “health condition”. In her first year of school, she killed a classmate by accident and was nearly banned from returning. Loves to play around with humans, especially timid boys. She cuts them to drink the blood without biting.

Clarisse Van Gogh

As a child- Pure flower child. She loved being outdoors and in nature. She would often get lost in the forest chasing after a butterfly and would have to constantly be watched when outside. She likes to play with her dad’s paints and would rather spend time with him than playing games with the other kids.

As a teenager- Still a pure bean. Her classmates refer to her as an airhead and gullible. She makes good marks in class but is typically doodling or daydreaming during lessons. She is willing to help anyone out no matter how busy she is. Paints a lot of abstract things, simply adding color and strokes based on her feelings.

Malachi Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child- Big brother to his twin and his cousin. He often bumped heads with Owen if the other child ever tried to pick on the other two Van Goghs. He especially cared for Clarrise, because he could tell she could not fend for herself at all.

As a teenager- Wary of humans. He did not attend the academy until Clarisse did, joining a second year when she was in first. He has no interest in art, but has a deep love for baking. He makes the lunches for all the kids attending school.

Knox Van Gogh (Twin)

As a child - Constantly felt like he had to compete for his brothers attention. He could be intentionally mean to Clarisse but regretted instantly because of her soft nature and she never got upset with him. He cried easily.

As a teenager- Bad boy, loner. He is the only child not attending school. He tends to wander at night, getting close to humans. He finds them fascinating in how they don’t sense danger lurking around them as a vampire would. He sometimes steals Clarisse’s art and sells it for cash.

Katsuro Dazai

As a Child- Quiet and introverted. He prefers to read books and play alone. He questions everything in his path, trying to find the meaning behind it. His favorite things to play with was sand.

As a teenager- Still relatively quiet. He spends most of his time with Clarisse, either reading or writing while she paints. He follows her around at school, not conversing with other classmates. He finds her light to be so blinding that he can’t help but be near her.

Nina Shakespeare

As a child- Nina was locked away in her room until the age of 8, not allowed out or allowed visitors other than her father. Developed an imaginary friend that she kept even as she grew older. When she was finally allowed out into the mansion, she hated the other children out of jealousy and lashed out often.

As a teenager- Aloof at school and unapproachable. Many of classmates are afraid of her. She absolutely despises discussing her father’s works as she blames him for her horrible and lonesome childhood. She creates dark and tragic stories to reflect her own feelings towards the world. Nina cannot connect with her classmates because she fears them rejecting her and leaving her alone.

Nico Moreau (The Count’s Son with his mother's maiden name)

As a child - Curteous and inclusive, he always tried to keep the peace among the kids. Never a fussy child. He did whatever was asked of him and thoroughly respects his father.

As a teenager- Keeps up with all the happenings at the school, especially anything related to the other vampires. He is the one tasked with making sure that Alaina doesn’t kill any other students. He is suspected to be the next student council president after Lyric graudates as his classmates find him to be gentle and kind and very smart. He hides his own bloodlust well. He falls only 3rd behind Alaina and Owen in thirst level, but he has the most self control.

Lucien D’Arc

As a child- A follower of the other kids. He never stood out, and was called lazy most of the time. The only game he ever excelled at was hide and seek, and he loved to be the seeker, feeding off the others fear of being found. Had a tendency to harm small animals.

As a teenager- Learned sword play but finds it tedious and dull. Has a sadistic side. He loves human girls because of the smell of their blood when they are frightened. Rarely follows through with drinking their blood, finding satisfaction in bringing them to the brink of breaking from their fears.

The kids are all going to the academy under the family name Moreau so that no one questions their original surnames.

The kids are not set in stone fully, as they might get more siblings or they might slightly change.

And there you have it! All my current ocs for the game!

Let me know which ones you are most interested in! ^_^

-Ruka

#ikemen vampire #ikevamp #my ocs #ikemen vampire ocs #there will possibly be more kids #and definitely more ocs

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