#i really wasn't sure how to format this one because it's in three parts but i'm just gonna do it in reblogs i think?

[gravitywonagain]

Jack of All Trades

(a Fresh Powder in the Pine Trees story in three vignettes)

Sometimes when you’re working at Juniors’ Club, you’re actually doing any number of other jobs around Cloud Recesses.

~

Ski Patrol

Sometimes, you’re just faster than Ski Patrol...

.

“Lan Zhan!”

Wei Ying waves his free arm around, flagging down Lan Zhan who, to his credit, skis directly over to him. 

He watches Lan Zhan take in the scene as he approaches: Wei Ying, one foot strapped into his board, holding a child and their board in his arms, a small amount of blood running down the child’s leg. There is, also, an adult skier sitting nearby looking suitably chastened. Lan Zhan is smart, he’ll put it together.

“Lan Zhan, Lan Zhan. I need you to watch my students. Take them back to JC, I’ll meet you there. I need to get this little guy to Wen Qing and that guy,” he jerks his head at the skier, ignoring the eight-year-old’s protests at being called ‘little,’ “needs to come with me.” He keeps his voice calm and light, but his face, he knows, shows his anger. 

“Can you wait for Ski Patrol?”

“Lan Zhan. There's blood on the snow and these kids are eight. No. I cannot wait for Ski Patrol.”

“Are you--”

“Lan Zhan.”

“Yes. I will meet you at Juniors’ Club.”

Thank the Heavens for Lan Zhan and his fucking serenity. Wei Ying draws on it for the briefest of moments before he moves again. He feels steadier when he does. 

“Thank you. Here,” he hands Lan Zhan the child’s snowboard, “take this, too.” 

Lan Zhan nods at him and takes it.

Wei Ying turns to the students who are all still sitting so nicely on the snow. They really are being absolutely perfect. Lan Zhan will figure out how to compensate their parents for the truncated lesson, but Wei Ying will make them all extra hot chocolate or something when he gets back to JC. 

He adjust his grip on the kid -- eight-year-olds are not light.

“Okay guys. This is Lan Zhan. He’s a skier, but he’s going to bring you guys back to the Clubhouse and hang out with you until I get back. Don’t worry, he’s super cool. You won’t even know I’m gone. Did you guys know he used to race?”

With that new distraction in place, Wei Ying shares another quick nod to Lan Zhan and skates over to the skier sitting on the snow. The man looks appropriately guilty so Wei Ying doesn’t feel the need to yell at him again. He steps his right foot into the binding -- kicking the straps out of the way with the toe of his boot, resolved to ride like he skates -- kid still in his arms, and nods.

“Come on. Let's go tell Ski Patrol what happened.”

The skier stands and follows him. He’s not quite as incompetent as he seemed when he hit Wei Ying’s student and they make it down the hill relatively quickly. 

It’s awkward as hell, snowboarding with fifty pounds of eight-year-old in his arms. His center of gravity is so off and he can’t quite gather the speed he wants, both because it’s a green run and because he can’t let the skier out of his sight. But they make it to the clinic. The skier stays with him. Everything is fine. 

-

Wen Qing yells at him for not waiting for Ski Patrol to stabilize the child’s leg before moving him. She waits until the kid is safe with his parents and the skier has been dealt with and is gone, of course, but it’s still loud. 

“It’s just a laceration, Qing-jie. Ski Patrol would have freaked out my students and taken forever to get there.”

“A-Ning would have been there as fast as he could, and you know that.”

It’s true. Wen Ning has always been Wei Ying’s friend, but for the last few months, he’s been weirdly attentive. You get a nosebleed and pass out one time and suddenly your EMT friend comes sprinting whenever you call. 

“As fast as he could is still not instantaneous.” 

“Wei Ying --”

“I’m first aid certified, Qing-jie. He’ll be okay.”

“If he has so much as a sprain…” She points a finger at him, accusatory and threatening. 

“If he has a sprain, he got it when the fucking skier hit him, not when I carried him down the mountain.”

“Okay.” Wen Qing seems mollified by this. “You’re dismissed. I want a copy of that incident report for my records.” 

“Yes, Wen-daifu.”

“Don’t put that on me,” she says, exasperated but fond. The accusatory finger is back. “You have to wait!”

She’s starting her bachelor’s degree this summer and then med school. Wei Ying is so fucking proud of her. 

-

Lan Zhan is sitting on one of the tiny benches when Wei Ying walks into the Clubhouse. It’s adorable. He does not fit at all, knees practically up to his ears. He’s surrounded by Wei Ying’s class and they’re all drawing or asking him questions or drinking hot chocolate and Wei Ying can’t help but smile at the scene. Lan Zhan, for his part, looks entirely comfortable. He has a purple mountains’ majesty crayon in his hand, poised above the paper in front of him while he answers one of the junior’s questions about rail slides on skis. 

Wei Ying absolutely does not want to disturb any of this. But, alas, it is his job that Lan Zhan is doing and, no matter how outwardly calm he looks, Lan Zhan is probably very tired of eight-year-olds and their inexhaustible curiosity. 

It’s almost time for their parents to come pick them up, anyway. Wei Ying will just sit there with them until it’s time. Maybe he’ll take them back out to the practice hill, but getting all of their gear back on sounds fucking exhausting. 

One of the kids notices him and yells out, “Wing!” effectively ending the calm. The table turns to him, big smiles on the kids’ faces, something almost soft on Lan Zhan’s. Surprisingly, nobody spills their hot chocolate. 

Lan Zhan raises an eyebrow and mouths, wing? at him, which is fair, but they’re eight and he only has them for like four hours so what are you going to do? 

“Hey guys!” Wei Ying smiles brightly at Lan Zhan and the pack of juniors. “See, I told you you wouldn’t miss me. Lan Zhan’s pretty fun, isn’t he?”

A quick survey of the various hot chocolate levels in their cups leads Wei Ying to decide to spend a little bit longer inside. He settles himself down on the bench across from Lan Zhan, straddling it and dropping his knees almost to the floor, and starts engaging with the juniors. One of the kids shows him their drawing. Another very nearly spills their hot chocolate, but Wei Ying catches it just in time. He brushes off questions about their missing classmate and steers the conversation back toward snowboarding. 

He looks up to see Lan Zhan’s eyes on him again, or maybe still, and suddenly the room is way too warm. 

“Who wants to go out to the hill and get a few more turns in?”

The kids start jumping up, excited to go back out to the snow. Wei Ying busies himself with helping them gear back up for the cold. Lan Zhan helps, too, and soon everybody is ready to go. 

On their way out the door, Wei Ying stops Lan Zhan and says, “You know you don’t have to stay with us, right? I’ve got it from here. I’m sure this isn’t how you expected to spend your afternoon.”

Lan Zhan nods, but it’s a confirmation of Wei Ying’s ability, not an agreement. “I will stay,” he says, “I need to speak with their parents anyway.”

Which is a totally valid reason and Wei Ying tries not to notice the way his stomach swooped at Lan Zhan’s easy “I will stay.”

Wei Ying leads the line of juniors out to the practice hill and gets the Magic Carpet running again. The rest of the hour passes easily: Wei Ying child wrangling and filling out report cards, Lan Zhan helping to catch kids and soothing parents’ concerns with promises of free lessons or ticket vouchers or something. 

It’s easy, working with Lan Zhan. Too easy. Wei Ying could get used to how easy this is. 

It’s a shame, really, that Lan Zhan mostly sticks to adult lessons. He’s so good with the kids. Bullying Lan Zhan into taking more JC lessons seems a bit out of Wei Ying’s self-appointed mission for this season, though. Maybe it’ll be his goal for next year. 

Next year.

Wei Ying smiles to himself at the thought before an approximation of his name pulls him back to reality and he jogs to the top of the hill to help one of the juniors clear ice out of their toe clip. 

-

“Someday you’re going to tell me how you got a bunch of eight-year-olds to sit and color for an hour,” says Wei Ying once they’re finally back inside.

“I told them it was useful for developing fine motor skills.”

Wei Ying raises an eyebrow, “And that worked?”

“I may have implied that refined fine motor skills would improve their reflexes in the terrain park.”

Wei Ying puts down the bright green vest in his hand and turns to Lan Zhan. “You told them coloring would make them better athletes?”

“I did.” 

“I… I don’t know enough about childhood athletic development to dispute it.”

There’s a hint of a smile curling Lan Zhan’s lips, “Neither do I.”

.

[Next: Hot Chocolate Machine Whisperer]

[dseval]

ArchiveVerse Cross

(sorry if the quality is butchered everyone Ibis paint is uncooperative today)

Finally, i'm able to work on ArchV content, with my favourite character, Cross. More under the cut.

Cross is the first one to get a 'reference sheet' or a character intro, since he's the first one to kickstart this AU too. Expect more ArchiveVerse charcaters to receive the treatment in the future.

(though for now Delta is next, because i absolutely hate his current archv design, and i'm redoing it. If you had anyone you're interested in seeing next, please tell me.)

I actually don't know how to format this post, though, so sorry if the information is all over the place (or if it's too much information). To understand most of the things I write here, please refer to my ArchiveVerse post.

★Info★

Cross, a student from the Omega Public School (OPS), used to be a normal student. That is, until he got caught in trouble along with Ink and a student from Juvie, Error. Ink was let off scot free, but Cross wasn't so lucky. Due to the troubles he caused, he was quickly arrested and thrown to the Juvenile Containment. Much to his own displeasure.

There, as much as he distances himself, he made friends with the other students contained there (Dust, Killer, Horror, and Nightmare). Though, it doesn't deter him from grinding hard for credits and speedrunning his community service to be released fast and quick from Juvie. He succeeded.

After graduating from the Juvenile Containment, Cross returned to OPS, and swore to just become a normal student, avoiding having himself thrown into Juvie again. He tries his best to steer clear from trouble, though the other Juvie students seem to bring that trouble to him, often dragging him along to their mischief.

Quick facts:

His height is 180 cm (probably he's the third tallest character in archv)

Cross's powers are Lightning, and on the side, he has small matter manipulation powers, able to break down molecules, though he hasn't explored his capabilities with this yet.

His powers are volatile, and he still had difficulties controlling it. Occasionally he'd accidentally zap someone when he touched them. Purple sparks of lightning also fizzle out of his fingertips when he's flustered or nervous.

He wears at least three layers of clothing.

Cross has been described as handsome, with long legs.

He rides his bicycle everywhere, often going for rides in the weekend too.

Cross always brings his school bag whereever he goes, in it are chocolate energy bars, and other utilities.

His eyelights are starry whenever he's overjoyed (this is his swap sans trait guys)

Every student in OPS has their own house, Cross makes sure to keep his living space tidy and neat.

Character relationships:

(These are only the ones i can mention off the top of my head)

Cross and Dream hangs out sometimes. To drink latter or get breakfast. Cross really admires him.

He often hangs out at the arcade with Delta, Epic, and Color. Delta seems somewhat hellbent on beating him at anything, Cross felt like he can't lose. Epic and Color plays a cooking game.

Dust, who was banned from entering most merch stores and malls, often sent Cross for fetch quests to get him any new Ice-e merch. Cross finds this annoying but obliges.

Killer and him often zap each other back in juvie, he still have black spots and bruises in several parts of his body. Nowadays, they still zap each other sometimes, Killer mostly for teasing— and Cross, on accident.

Horror and him often went to all-you-can-eat events together, they also exercise together occasionally.

Even out of Juvie, Cross still calls Nightmare by 'boss'. Nightmare finds it embarrassing of him.

Cross rarely met Ink, still somewhat wary that Ink will drag him into some sort of trouble. Though, he doesn't hate him.

Credits (please tell me if I missed anyone!):

Cross Sans by Jakei

Artstyle inspired/taken directly from Mx2j, one of the artists for Blue Archive. The character intro format itself follows Blue Archive.

Mentioned characters: Dream & Nightmare Sans (Joku), Dust Sans (Ask-Dusttale blog), Killer Sans (Rahafwabas), Horror Sans (SourAppleStudios), Ink Sans (Comyet/Mye bi), Error Sans (CrayonQueen/LoverofPiggies), Epic (yugogeer012), Delta (AnimatedZorox), Color (superyomna)

[rafyki]

Goth! Nico/ Surfer! Percy AU Part 9!

I'm back!! I hope you missed me as much as I missed posting lmao This chapter wasn't planned honestly, I wanted to write directly their beach 'date', but then this happened and I decided it's gonna be one more chapter before the date - sorry xD I bet y'all are tired of this slow burn, but i promise they're gonna get together soon!

(I hope the texting format is easy to read here on tumblr, but otherwise you can read it on AO3)

Enjoy~

Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8

You can also read it on AO3!!

~~~

Percy: Ehi, Nico! You have the afternoon shift tomorrow, right? Let’s hang out at the beach again after it?

Me: Percy, hi!

Me: So you really do know all my shift hours, huh?

Percy:  What can i say, Im a great obsever

Me: Huh, are you?

Percy: For important things at least

Percy: so is that a yes?

Me: of course

Me: No need to tell you what time I finish, I guess

Percy: nope 

Percy: 20ish right?

Me: yeah

Me:  see you tomorrow?

Percy: yep

Percy: see you tmorrow! 

Nico had been rereading the conversation for the best part of the previous night, and the first thing he had done after waking up had been checking his phone once again to make sure he hadn’t just made it up in his dreams. He knew the short exchange by heart now, yet he kept staring at it, reading it over and over again. Part of himself was afraid it would disappear if he so much as locked his phone and looked away for a second too long.

Their chance meeting at the beach three days prior still felt like a waking dream, like he had hoped so much for something like that to happen that he had started hallucinating. He wondered if hallucinations always felt so real, if they would let you to feel the water splashing against your legs, the warmth of the setting sun on your skin, or the pressure of a hand holding yours, the touch soft and warm, everything and more Nico had let himself dreaming about for the past months. The way Percy had smiled at him had been so beautiful that Nico’s mind probably wouldn’t have been able to conjure something like it if it hadn’t been real.

Still, it didn’t feel real.

Leo and Jason would have probably blamed the feeling on Nico’s self sabotaging tendencies. You’re allowed to have nice things, Nico, they would tell him.

Was he? Could he let himself hope that he could really have this? His heart was going berserk in his chest at the sole thought.

Percy had stopped to talk to him at the beach, Percy had taken his hand and held it while walking in the water, Percy had memorized his schedule and asked for his phone number; Percy had texted him first and asked him to hang out again.

For important things at least.

Percy had said that. Important. Nico wanted to scream.

His phone's sudden ringing almost made him jump out of his skin. It was Jason’s number, but it was Leoìs voice that greeted him from the other end of the line.

“Hi there, goth boy, so how ya feeling for your date today?”

“Not a date, Leo, shut up- and why are you calling me with Jason’s phone?”

Of course, Nico’s traitor heart stumbled on the word date. It wasn’t, and he couldn’t simply assume otherwise, it would make things awkward, wouldn’t it? And so far nothing had ever been too awkward with Percy - Nico surely wouldn’t be the one to make everything between them crumbling down for expecting too much.

“Not important-”

“He lost his phone”, came Jason’s voice. “Again. By the way, hi Nico”.

Nico rolled his eyes at their antics. “Hi Jason”.

“Anyway!”, Leo jumped in. “How are you feeling for your ‘not date’ then?”

“I hate you, Valdez”, Nico groaned, letting himself fall backward on his bed. His heart didn’t seem willing to stop running like crazy anytime soon, his hands were sweating from anticipation and tension.

“You’re freaking out, aren’t you?”

He put his phone on speaker just so he could set it aside, take a pillow, and scream into it.

Apparently, his suffering was extremely funny to Leo, because his obnoxious laugh came as a reply. “I’ll take it as a yes”, he said.

“Nico, I’m sure everything’s gonna be great”, Jason said. “You’ll have fun, get to know him better, and then-”

“Then you’ll finally date, hopefully”, Leo finished.

Once again, Nico’s heart skipped a beat and did a little dance in his chest. He threw the pillow aside. “What if I make a fool of myself though?”

“Well, your boy has made a fool of himself plenty of times already, hasn’t he? I mean, he knows your schedule by heart”, Leo replied. “So I’m sure you’ll be fine”.

Jason laughed at that, and after a moment Nico joined him.

~~~

Nico expected his shift at the kiosk to last an eternity, stretching on and on to keep him apart from finally seeing Percy in the evening. And, truth be told, the first couple of hours were just like that, long and boring and way too slow.

It changed when his phone notified him of a new text.

Percy: i got work today so im coming to teh beach latr 

Percy: ill meet you at the kiosk!

Nico’s heart was starting to become extremely good at doing somersaults in his chest. There were no customers at that moment, so he had time to reply, his fingers shaking just slightly as he wrote back.

Me: alright, I’ll meet you here then

Me: What time do you finish at work?

Percy: What, you wana learn my scdheule too?

Me: It's only fair, isn’t it?

And so, they ended up texting back and forth for a while and, after that, the time seemed to move faster, the day shining brighter, and Nico’s customers’ smile felt just that tiny bit more honest.

Nico’s internal list of the things he knew about Percy kept growing longer by the minute; he liked to text and wasn’t afraid to double text, his spelling mistakes were so atrocious they left Nico smiling and feeling so endeared it was almost ridiculous.

Nico’s nerves eased with every new text, his heart now beating out of excitement and anticipation more than fear and anxiety. The evening couldn’t come fast enough.

Me: Why are you spending so much time texting me instead of working

Percy: Why, arent you enjoying it :( 

Me: not what I said!

Me: i wouldn’t be replying if i weren’t enjoying it

Percy: :D 

Percy: im on break anyay

Percy:  what abot you, youre also on your phone instead of workin

Me: there aren’t many customers today

Me: no one to buy the same old blue drink

Nico put the phone aside for a moment, hiding his smile behind his hand and hoping that no one would think he was a creepy psycho smiling for no reason. He had every reason to smile. Flirting was easier through text, even if he kept spending minutes on end before forcing himself to press send. The downside of it was that it was way more difficult to avoid it when Percy flirted back.

Percy: aww you miss me?

He wrote and then deleted a reply a few times. He was lucky Jason and Leo weren’t there today to see him being like this or they would have made fun of him for the rest of their lives. 

It was strange. Nico was feeling embarrassed, but in an easy lighthearted way, and that made him feel just that little bit braver. Maybe it was because Percy was willingly spending his break texting him instead of whatever else he usually did; maybe it was the fact that he had the feeling Percy was feeling just like him.

He wrote a reply, looked at it for a few seconds and pressed send before he could overthink it too much.

Me: Maybe

Just then, before having the time to send a second text for damage control, a customer came and Nico had to put his phone down to serve them. His heart kept hammering in his chest the whole time, and his eyes kept stealing glances at the phone, hoping to see it ring. It was taking a little longer than usual for Percy to reply, and Nico didn’t know if it was because he had scared him away or flustered him too much.

When it did notify him of a new series of texts, he was still busy with new customers, and it took him all of his willpower not to make them wait while he checked his phone.

Finally, he thanked and said goodbye to the last customer of the queue, he moved so fast he almost stumbled on his own feet; and when he read what Percy had written, his heart was ready to jump out of his chest and start dancing on the counter.

Percy: me too

Percy: maybe

Percy: goot thign were seeing each other in a couple huors

Percy: cant wait

He read the words, reread it again and then again, once again feeling like they were nothing but a pipe dream. He blinked, and they were still there when he opened his eyes again. 

Maybe he really could let himself hope this time.

Me: me too

Time definitely couldn’t pass fast enough. 

[scrollonso]

First Kiss (Race 3)

A strollonso AU where 18 year old rookie Lance Stroll falls helplessly in love with the notoriously mean world champion. (1.5k words, angst, hurt/comfort) [@v3lnys @biancathecool] {I was worried I wouldn't have motivation to write this but i got it done in one sitting LMAO}

last part - masterlist - next part

Thankfully Mark listened and stayed far away from him while the drivers were getting interviewed, leaving the rookie to just have to answer a few questions from smaller journalists.

It was nice to not be swarmed and just asked questions about his dad but he did wish he could've spoken to Fernando again before quali, seeing how much fun he seemed to be having with Mark.

Quali was decent, he got 7th so it wasn't anything spectacular but it was in the points. All he had to do was keep his spot or better and he'd count it as a good race

Before he could even reach Nico's side of the garage he heard a voice call him, though it wasn't the one he expected

"Alright, Stroll, you're the only one left" Mark announced, earning a groan fron the younger

"Mark please" He begged, not entirely serious but also not wanting to get interviewed anymore

"Fernando will but you dinner if you let me interview you" Lance wasn't one to turn down free dinner.

"What am I doing?" Fernando asked, finally reaching the garage

"Sure" Lance laughed, neither him nor Mark answering Fernandos question as the three of them left the paddock

By the time they reached a restaraunt Fernando had pieced together what exactly he was doing but he didn't really mind, the three of them had paid about the same amount while going around Australia together so it wouldn't kill him to treat the two to a little dinner.

They got seated not long after entering, Fernando and Mark in chairs while Lance sat across from them in the booth

"So, Lance. You ready for your interview?" Mark asked, having no plans on really interviewing him

"Shh," He said, bringing his finger to his lips "After Nando pays" Lance laughed, hoping Mark wasn't serious because the last thing he wanted to do after his second favourite part of the day, eating dinner (talking to Nando is first), is be interviewed.

Last nights dinner went well, Lance liked having friends, Karting had kept him from having too many growing up so having friends in F1 was a nice feeling, it gave him something to look forward to outside of the car.

Today was race day and all Lance wanted was to keep himself in the points.

He walked out of his drivers room, race suit tied around his waist (he couldn't be bothered to keep pulling it up), as usual Fernando somehow managed to completely ditch his garage and get away with it just to wish him good luck.

"Lancito, good luck today, let's see if we can get you on that podium, eh?" He smiled at him, elbowing him slightly

Lance loved seeing Fernando away from Media, he was completely different when the cameras were off, by this time in the season Lance had read the articles, seen the blogs, watched the interviews, people were convinced Fernando was some mean winning machine, he was a winning machine, yes, but the last thing he was was mean (at least to Lance.)

"Thank you, Nando, but don't be too hurt when I beat you" He flashed Fernando a cheeky grin, he wanted to beat him of course, all racers want to win, but a part of him knew that wouldn't happen

The cars all lined up and then started the formation lap, as it ended someone had already spun. Lance knew this was gonna be a hectic Grand Prix and it hadn't even started yet.

Lance stared anxiously at the lights ahead of him then everyone took off, the Australian Grand Prix had begun.

Nico was involved in a minor collision on the first lap with two other drivers, causing him to lose his rear wing, Lance was told over the radio that he was fine so he wasn't too worried, the two had gotten used to not finishing by now.

The safety car was deployed then recalled in two laps but then a driver crashed and it was deployed again. Lance was annoyed, why even bother to take it out if it was just gonna be out not even ten laps later.

They got about 20 laps in when cars started to pit and to Lance's surprise he took the lead, he was leading a Grand Prix, he heard instructions over his radio to take care of his tyres, with better cars coming back out with fresh ones he had to defend like his life depended on it.

He wasn't surprised when Fernando took back the lead, he wasnt sure why but he wasn't exactly mad about it either. He managed to build up a decent gap ahead of the driver behind him and asked if he should pit, he was advised not to so he stayed out.

On lap 32 there was another safety car, he took the chance to finally pit, getting into the pit lane first, the race starting behind the safety car again with him just behind Fernando, for the first time he had a chance to be on the podium with him, he was overjoyed at the idea, if his first podium was with Fernando he was sure it would he a memorable one.

On lap 35 the safety car was recalled but literally one lap later it was out again, they might as well have a safety car out all race at this point.

Two more cars retired after the last safety car was recalled and Lance made it to the final lap, he had managed to stay in 2nd for the past 34 laps, it was insane to him, his engineer tried not to say too much but it was obvious how excited he was for him, and now all he had to do was finish.

He had four corners left, then three, then two... then his engine blew. The car right behind him had been covered in oil and the safest thing to do was pull off the track, ten meters away from his first podium.

"I'm sorry- I'm so sorry, I was almost there, I'm so sorry, I'll try harder in San Marino-" He kept apologizing, wondering if he had made the right choice, wondering if the team would be mad at him

"Lance, It's okay, you're the driver, right? Do what you feel is best, if this is what's best then it's fine." His engineer consoled him, the canadian having a hard time not crying

He finally reached the garage, taking off his helment and his balaclava, his eyes red as he talked to his engineer at the back of his side of the garage, not noticing as the tears began to fall

"Fuck, Brad- I'm so sorry, I feel like i fucked up. I could've kept going, I should've, I almost got us a podium, I was so close." He gasped as he spoke, the Canadian distraught as he thought about his team being mad at him, what if he lost his seat because of this? The media already doesnt like him what would they say now? Was Brad lying about not caring?

"Lance, Lance it's okay, no one is mad at you for keeping yourself safe" He promised, speaking to the boy as if he was a child, which wasn't too far off

Lance couldn't respond, all he could do was cover his face, embarrassed at the reality of him sobbing after a DNF, he didn't care the other times.

Lance got himself together before Fernando came looking for him, not saying a word before dragging the rookie out of his garage

"Nando-" He started, Fernando moving them behind the Racing Point garage "Fernando what-"

Then he hugged him, without saying a word he just hugged him, arms tightly wrapped around the rookie as he sunk into his arms, unable to stop himself from crying again

"Fuck, Nando" He choked out "I feel so stupid"

"Shh, is okay, Lancito" He spoke softly, hand stroking the taller mans hair but at that moment the thing he felt was big. He was embarrassed, trying not to cringe at the reality of him crying in another mans arms but all that mattered was he felt safe in them "You did well, am so proud"

Lance hummed, sniffling as he kept his head in the crook of Fernandos neck "I'm sorry, Nando," He practically whispered "I wanted to be up there with you"

Fernando knew that, he was upset to hear Lance was no longer behind him, all he wanted was to celebrate with him, he was looking forward to it for the whole race and now he's stood there with the younger man a complete mess in his arms, he hoped San Marino would treat him better.

[good-to-drive]

your analysis of paul + golden children was superb!!!! you mentioned that for children, abandonment means death. how would you say this manifested/developed in john considering his childhood (who's usually the one we think of regarding abandonment issues)?

Thank you so much, I really appreciate that!!! I always hope someone enjoys my ramblings lol. I definitely think John was deeply shaped by abandonment trauma and neglect, having had caregivers leave him, neglect him, and pass away during his childhood and adolescence, and I think you can see a mix of fear, shame, and anger connected to abandonment/rejection throughout his adult life. 

The best description I’ve read for the mindset of a child in a tumultuous family system is “Don’t let me disappear.” I touched on this here, but it all comes back to the deep, primal knowledge that without a caregiver you will die. It’s called existential fear because it’s quite literally a fear of nonexistence – it’s the knowledge that the only thing between you and death is the adult world, clashing with the knowledge that the adult world is inconsistent and unreliable. It's your survival being fundamentally dependent on a world you can’t control and, based on your experience of it, can’t trust. 

Ideally, children would never be confronted with the possibility of a caregiver dying, leaving, or neglecting them. But obviously John experienced at least two of those things, and arguably all three, and that means he was probably very acutely aware of death as a constant presence in his life. 

I know the way both Julia and Alfred abandoned him is already pretty heavily discussed, but one thing I don’t see people talking about is his life when he did live under Julia’s care.

I'm also not sure abandon is the right word for what Julia did, because I'm under the impression she may not have felt she had a real choice, but regardless it would have been abandonment to John. Children don't really understand that adults also don't control the adult world, and I'm sure he felt that if Julia wasn't his primary caregiver it was because she didn't want to be.

I don’t have an enormous amount of detail on this, but I know from this piece by Psychology in Seattle that Julia would leave John physically alone for long periods of time, particularly at night, to the point that he would have panic attacks and beg neighbors for help. And, again, when children feel abandoned or neglected it’s dying that they’re afraid of. He wasn’t just lonely and confused – though I’m sure that was part of it – he was existentially terrified. Through that experience of serious neglect, being unloved and rejected translated literally to death, which will set a horrible schema in a child's mind.

I think people might ignore this part of John's life because there’s a chance he can’t remember it, but aside from the fact that trauma can lead to early formation of memories, you don’t actually have to be able to remember something in order to be shaped and traumatized by it. And living with an early-childhood trauma you can’t remember, but which still shaped your brain and your perception of reality and your ability to ever feel okay, is a very painful and complex experience. In some ways trauma lives in the brain more than the mind, and being inside of a brain that’s been misused and twisted in a way you can’t get any clarity on is uniquely terrible. I genuinely don’t know if John could remember his early childhood, but there’s no way that experience didn’t instill deep trauma and permanently alter the way he saw and interacted with the world by instilling an early, maladaptive schema. 

It might also be a good time to mention how a schema is defined, which is something I don’t think I’ve ever explicitly done before. This article about the connection between maladaptive schemas and depression is way too long and mostly irrelevant, but this part is important:

A schema may be defined as “any broad organizing principle for making sense of one’s life experience” (Young, Kloscko, & Weishar, 2003, p. 7). While schemas can provide useful heuristics with which to organize the world, they can also be maladaptive when they involve pervasive, inflexible, and dysfunctional cognitions (e.g., Young, 1990). Expanding upon 78 EBERHART ET AL. Beck’s (1967, 1983) cognitive theory of depression, Young (Young, 1990, 1994; Young et al., 2003) has suggested that there are a number of specific maladaptive schemas that develop in childhood and are elaborated throughout life that place individuals at increased risk for psychopathology

A more straightforward explanation might be that schemas describe how you think about the world, and you usually learn them as a kid (sometimes even before you learn to talk), and everyone has them but when they’re really rigid or really negative they can cause a lot of problems in your life. One schema might be “I am unworthy of love.” That’s something a lot of people who experience early-childhood abandonment will develop, essentially explaining their abandonment to themselves by saying it must have been their own fault for not being lovable, and it echoes through their adult relationships by making love feel impossible or fake because it conflicts with one of their fundamental beliefs. A schema could also be “Most people are bad and want to hurt you,” which would make positive relationships in general very difficult to form. 

John also had his primary caregiver change early in life, when he went from being under Julia’s care to Mimi’s, which is always traumatic for children. It’s like being abandoned, except you’re also now dealing with a new caregiver who you don’t know and don’t know how to deal with. All the little things you learned for managing your relationship with your initial caregiver, the knowledge of how they usually react to things and how you can keep them appeased and thereby keep yourself safe, a sense of familiarity and the ability to know if you’re okay -- it's all stripped away, and it's utterly destabilizing and therefore terrifying. It can also make children very scared of feeling loved, because they’ve been taught on a deep level that being given love is a precursor to having love taken away. Of course, it can also make children desperate to feel loved, to be someone it’s impossible not to love. Or it can be a combination of both. 

There’s also evidence that Mimi used emotional neglect as a punishment during John's childhood – i.e. gave him the silent treatment when he did things that upset her. This is already a pretty horrible thing for a parent to do with an adult child, much less a young child who still feels (and is) utterly dependent on their caregiver for survival. I doubt I have to explain why using existential horror as a tool to torture your child when you’re unhappy with them is incredibly cruel and destructive, but it’s even worse for a child who already had a history of abandonment and neglect. And I think by reactivating his abandonment trauma in order to punish him or express dissatisfaction Mimi probably instilled in him very deeply that feeling unloved or rejected is something people do to you intentionally, because they want to see you hurt, because you've made some kind of mistake that displeased them. It would be so difficult for John to see any slight hint of rejection as anything but an intentional, malicious act meant to convey disapproval or retaliation, a conscious choice to hurt him in the absolute worst way possible because they felt he did something to deserve being hurt in the worst way possible. Because, in his experience, that’s exactly what it was.  

This would have created so much shame and self-hate connected to any kind of abandonment, as well as deep mistrust for people he loved and who therefore had the power to reject him. And for most people shame, self-hate, and mistrust are transmuted to anger and then to cruelty. I think you can see a bit of this with how John tended to react with anger when he perceived himself as rejected or overlooked (see also: John’s later relationship with George). Rejection, abandonment, and neglect were incredibly sharp tools in John’s world, both in how they were (sometimes unintentionally) used against him, and in how he himself used them when he felt abused and betrayed. 

Then when he’s still an adolescent Julia dies suddenly, and while John did have a positive relationship with her at the time of her death, it would be hard to construe it as an ideal mother-son relationship. And even if you’re past the point of wanting an ideal relationship with your parent, the fact that you didn't have one (and, in John’s case, that he’d never had a truly healthy relationship with any caregiver) will always be a source of grief. 

Not that it isn’t also horrible to lose a parent who’s been good to you (as with Paul), but it’s the difference between the emptiness of losing something wonderful and the emptiness of never having had that wonderful thing in the first place, and knowing now that you never, ever will. Even if the relationship were already dead, a parent’s death is often when you grieve what you could or should have had, and it’s like any grief in that it never completely leaves you. And the schema you build around that emptiness in order to make it survivable is usually very persistent, too. 

That being said, there’s such a thing as corrective experiences, where (usually through therapy) you reshape your experience of the world and by extension your schemas. My point being that trauma isn't fate and things can always get better.

I also think Mimi was one of these people who expresses love through control and criticism (would love to know more about her and Julia and Alfred’s childhoods, but a lot of that seems pretty opaque, which is so bizarrely universal for toxic caregivers – you know they came from somewhere, but you don’t know where, so you’re trying to draw compassion out of thin air and it’s hard). And there’s a lot to be said about how this translated to John’s relationships with women, how he was shaped by two powerful female presences in his early life who likely never made him feel fully loved, while simultaneously reiterating that being unloved is death. There are also multiple relationships with potential male authority figures that probably connected back to a perpetual state of mourning for his relationship with his father. 

I also think he’s probably like pretty much everybody who had a childhood dominated by fear in that he spent his adult life coping with anxiety and depression, and I’m guessing he was someone whose anxiety probably never dropped below about a 6/10. It’s actually kind of consistent that when people with this kind of childhood get into therapy they rate their anxiety based on their experience of the world, which is that you never really feel okay, you just feel better or worse, so they think their anxiety is around a 3-4. And then over time they start to experience moments of true calm and they realize their default state for most of their life was actually being at least somewhat activated, like a 6+, and that’s why it was so hard to think straight or keep their cool or look at things in a reasonable way. People always say you get the worst of someone when shit hits the fan, but the thing is that for some people that’s just what a normal day feels like. I don’t know how true that is for John, but I do think it’s possible, especially in his early life. 

Anyway, this is way too long, but thank you so much for the question!

[corviiids]

THANKS @kimdokjafan you are so kind and generous. ok im cashing in the first of three blank checks to talk about faith trust and pixie dust (most recent chatfic) because the last two directors commentaries were too serious so let's do a silly one.

some p5r spoilers, and this is mostly about sumire, and it's long again. do i need to keep disclaiming that these are long? you should know me by now.

i had this written for a while before i started formatting it because i wasn't really sure if i should post it? i feel like silly chatfic is something people go to for predominantly lighthearted nonsense so i was like, maybe there's too much plot and dramatic misunderstanding and i should just keep this one for myself. but then i was like well nothing matters and maybe someone will have fun with it. it's kind of terrible how much fully or mostly completed fic there is my docs that just doesn't see the light of day lol. write for yourself etc but i like sharing! too bad it comes with the mortifying ordeal etc. anyway that was a tangent

potato counter is a neopets game. there's no deep lore i just like neopets. i guess in this universe ryuji doesn't play neopets? or maybe he's just never played potato counter specifically. i also have a different fic where ryuji DOES play neopets. it's about neopets and ryuji and goro talking on neopets.

i think this might literally be the first time ive written sumi in a fic because i haven't actually written that much fic for royal, like, now that im looking, literally almost none? and none that had a group dynamic. so it was kind of fun to find her voice for the first time in a silly groupchat like this. i was worried people would find her exclamation marks annoying but i personally thought it was endearing so i added it in there.

every time i do a gag where a character corrects their own typo i have to code more stupid little bubbles to make it happen but i think it's worth it. all the effort that goes into making tgis look as much like a real chat as possible

this obviously doesnt take place in the canon p5/r universe, but im imagining sort of a postcanon sumi personality where she's more comfortable being herself and isn't borrowing kasumi's brand of confidence, but she's visibly a really anxious person without that kasumi veneer. i also think in this universe sumire is a fairly recent addition to the friend group, and while everyone likes her a lot and she really likes them, i kind of wanted to emphasise that feeling of being in a friend group where everyone's established and you're sort of a plus-one? you don't really fit yet. part of that is her being new, part of it is her anxiety, part of it is just the kind of person sumi is where she's so polite and self-conscious she ends up taking herself out of things with her own good intentions. stuff like her interrupting the flow of an existing conversation by greeting everyone instead of jumping straight in because she doesn't feel comfortable inserting herself, which means everyone else stops to greet her even though that doesn't normally happen in a friend group, or making a point of thanking everyone for being invited to events while the others take it as a given.

idk i love that she feels a bit out of place with the phantom thieves in p5r. and part of that is a natural consequence of being a new addition in royal who can't be naturally integrated with an existing dynamic but i honestly feel like the writing team realised that and acknowledged it, and really leaned into it, and that made it work incredibly well for me. like, it's part of her character that she's sort of an outsider. it's not like p4g's incredibly clumsy integration of marie and subsequent attempt to shove her down everyone's throat as the canon love interest in p4ga (knife). sumi has that outsider vibe on purpose and it makes me really like her dynamic with the thieves as an individual

goro also feels slightly out of place in these chats, but his conversational style blends more naturally with the other thieves at this point and he even uses their codenames sometimes. i keep saying my chatfic series isn't a real Series because the lore keeps changing, but if we accept that they're all kind of following a General Continuity, assume this takes place some time after the last fic in which ren added goro to the groupchat and they made an effort to integrate him into their friend group. he's kind of there now and has settled into being the weird boyfriend. that's his role.

every time goro says something like "ren and i" assume it's the text equivalent of him talking to the group with his arm around ren's waist.

ok i got really fond of this silly running joke where sumi brings up the weather when she's feeling uncomfortable. she's so polite. i like this thread because setting it up meant i got to tie it off like this:

this just made me happy lol i liked writing this. i tried to use it to demonstrate that despite goro's abrasiveness he obviously knows sumire pretty well, he's attuned to her quirks and knows how to tell when she's having a bad time with her anxiety, so he uses her little weather habit to ground her.

i honestly dont think goro and sumire could be considered close in p5r and as much as i like the "royal trio" in canon they're not really... like... friends? with each other? they're both attached to ren, so it' more a V shape than anything else. but that said, i really LIKE goro and sumi's canon dynamic. he takes a really grouchy but politely attentive supervisory role to her during their few forays into the palace as a trio where he doesn't really know her well but clearly identifies her as a harmless little tryhard who needs some guidance and steps into that role grudgingly, and she immediately looks up to him despite being very wrong footed by his ruthlessness, which i find incredibly charming. i think given time they could be good friends, they just didn't get much chance to know each other very well in canon. so i tried to kinda do that here.

once goro stops being evil and joins the group they all kind of tiredly accept that his role is to occasionally push a cup off a bench while smirking and refuse to clean it up. emotionally, i mean.

wait i need to backtrack chronologically to talk about akeshu.

in this scene they're in the same room lol talking and snickering while typing. im trying to get at that vibe of the annoying couple who is flirting with each other, via you. you know? like ostensibly they're talking to you (sumire) but everything they say to you is part of their stupid game. sumi is incidental to goro and ren teasing each other about flirting with someone else, goro is reporting everything ren says because his boyfriend is so eye-rollingly foolish in a cute way. they're very tickled by how amusing and charming they are. gross. disgusting. sumire im so sorry for putting you through this

anyway here are too many of my favourite jokes from the fic

[pensat-i-fet]

Selfie partner (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**I got a request recently to do an imagine where Rúben and the protagonist meet, rather than the couple dynamics I’m usually requested. And I don’t even know if I’ve ever done this in imagine format before, how crazy is that? Then I realized I had this little idea outlined and it worked well for the request so hopefully you enjoy reading something cute this Sunday! ❤️**

Word count: 2033

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Alright. Like this…no, the shirt looks bad. Maybe this way…”, Rúben’s attempts at modelling while on the lift were interrupted by the doors opening on the 8th floor.

“Good morning”, you said, holding a laugh after finding one of your neighbours doing a photoshoot there at 8 am. Not what you expected.

“Morning”, he said, slightly embarrassed by being caught.

When you reached the ground floor, you said goodbye and left. He stayed on the lift to go one floor lower to find his car, but you were taking the bus. And all the way to work, you kept thinking about that funny moment. And about how cute the guy from the lift was. No wonder he was taking photos of himself everywhere. All guys who looked like him probably did the same.

“Sorry”, you said when you couldn’t help but laugh.

The next day, you thought about leaving in the morning ten minutes earlier than usual so you could grab a cup of coffee on the way to work. Tea wasn’t enough after staying up late to grade exams. And Rúben…well, he wanted to avoid being embarrassed again so he also left ten minutes earlier so he could get the stupid selfies done. He actually liked the shirt he was wearing that day better so it all worked out perfectly…until the doors opened on the 8th floor again and you caught him taking more photos.

“It’s ok. I just…I have to do this because of my management. I don’t just take photos all the time”.

“Management? Are you a model?”, you could believe that. But also couldn’t believe your luck of living in the same building as a model. Were there more? You were just wondering.

“No, I’m a footballer”.

You cocked your head to the side, confused. “I didn’t know that was part of the job”.

“Yeah…”.

"You don't have to make up jobs, really. It's ok to feel cute and want to take a photo of yourself. I'm not judging".

And now you didn't believe him…

"Look", he said, showing you his Instagram profile and then laughing seeing your shocked face. "You really didn't believe me then".

"Well, men lie all the time to impress girls", you said, shrugging and making him chuckle. "I imagine many pretend to be footballers often".

"Probably, yeah".

When you reached your floor, you left again after wishing him a good day and once you were gone, Rúben realised he didn't even ask your name. Too busy trying to justify his lift antics.

But it turned out he didn't need to ask it because you couldn't help going back to his profile while bored on the bus. He was a legit footballer but also…yes, there were all the photos he had to take because of his management. Or so he said.

He had more than 2 million followers so he wouldn't notice one new follower, right? But he did, of course. Rúben was just checking his notifications when he saw a face that looked familiar. And after clicking on the profile, he saw that it belonged to his neighbour that kept interrupting his photoshoots in the morning. It was a private account, should he request to follow you? Sure, he had nothing to lose, did he? Worst case scenario, he'd have to start walking down the stairs. He could always use the exercise.

After accepting his request, you hoped to find him in the lift the following day but…he wasn't there. Of course, three days in a row would be too much of a coincidence but you couldn't lie and say you weren't at least a bit disappointed.

And so was Rúben. He almost thought about talking to you on Instagram but that would have been too much, right? You barely knew each other. He did check your account to see if you had posted something about that day. Maybe it was your day off? It said on your profile that you were a professor but he wasn’t sure what your work schedule would look like.

When you got back home, you were so exhausted. But when the doors to the lift opened, you saw Rúben there and couldn't help but smile.

"Hi, mister footballer".

"Hello, professor. We see each other on the way back from work today then".

"Gotta spice it up a bit, I guess".

"8th floor, right?”, he asked, ready to press the button and you nodded. "I'm on the 12th".

Why was he telling you that?

There was silence after that. You didn't know each other after all but you both wanted to talk and didn't know what to say.

When you reached your floor, the doors opened and you stepped out after saying goodbye to Rúben. But instead of hearing the doors closing, you heard them open again and saw him leave the lift.

"What…".

"Do you wanna do something together? Like…go for a drink or food or I don't know…".

"I would love that", you said, happy he took the initiative. "I was planning on going for a picnic tomorrow by myself. I wouldn't mind the company".

"That's a great idea. I have training in the morning but then I'm free all day".

"Well, you know where to find me", you said, pointing at your door and making him chuckle. "Pick me up at noon?"

"I'll be there".

                                      **

Saturdays were the days you took off completely unless something came up. And you loved going out to have some food somewhere, either by yourself or with some friends. Since the weather was good for once, you knew you wanted to take that chance to go to the park and enjoy the sun. And now you had a companion for your little picnic.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you liked what you saw. Your outfit was cute but nothing that screamed “I’m going on a date”. Even if you guessed, and hoped, this was a date.

You were putting your hair up in a loose ponytail when the doorbell rang and you walked to open the door and found Rúben there. Well…he really put a lot of effort into his outfit, making you feel insecure all of a sudden.

“I need to get changed”, you said, making him frown.

“Why? You look good”.

“But you look better. I didn’t know we had to dress up so much for a picnic”.

He laughed and shook his head. “Remember I’m the one who takes selfies on the lift, so obviously I’ll try harder. But really, you look great so let’s go”.

This time you both were going to the same floor and soon you were out of the building on your way to the park you had chosen for the picnic.

“I hope you like the food. It’s healthy…for the most part”.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine but tell me what you have on that basket. I’m curious”.

“Oh, you know. The typical things…I got some sandwiches, summer rolls, some pasta salad, lots of fruit and some chocolate snacks. And juice and water”.

“Perfect!”

The park was obviously very busy on such a sunny day, but you found a nice little spot without too many people around. Placing the blanket on the grass, you got comfortable and started to take out the food so you could start eating.

“I’m starving. I didn’t eat after training”.

“Help yourself, then”, you laughed.

“Why don’t you tell me more about you? I only know you’re a professor and that you’re my neighbour”, he paused after trying some of the pasta salad. “And you’re pretty good at cooking too. Good qualities to have”.

“Thank you. I do know a bit about you…I googled you. Don’t judge”.

He smiled at you, trying not to laugh since his mouth was full of food.

And so you told him more about you. Where you were from, what you taught in University, why you had moved to Manchester, …

“And I’m guessing you're single”.

“You’re guessing right, mister Dias. I hope you’re single too. I don’t want to be fighting angry girlfriends”.

“Didn’t you find your answer to that on your Google search?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.

“Oh, I found a lot about your love life on my Google search. Hard to know how much I should believe, though”.

“Only believe the good. Always”, he laughed. And his laugh was so nice to hear that it always made you smile. “But yes, I’m single”.

“So the selfies weren’t for the posts your management wants you to do then. They were for Tinder. It all makes sense now”.

He snorted. “Will you help me choose the one that’ll attract all the pretty ladies? If you like them, then we know they’ll work”.

“I could help you take them too. Maybe we can add some shirtless photos too. You seem to like posting those and…well, I guess they are alright to look at”.

“Already asking me to take my clothes off. Wow! You move fast”.

“Sometimes”.

Anyone who saw you there would have known you two were flirting. The looks on your faces said it all. The smiles, the cheeky looks or the slight blush on both of your faces, but mostly on yours.

“Should we take a little walk around the park now we’re done eating?”

“Sure”, you agreed and with his help, you quickly tidied up and got up to go for that walk.

Rúben took the basket from your hands so he could hold it.

“Not as gentleman-like as you think because it weighs a lot less now, you know?”, you teased.

“Did I just lose points because of that?”

“One or two, yes. You should do something to get them back”.

“Like what?”

“Well, there are a few options. You could buy me an ice cream, you could carry me home later if my shoes hurt my feet or…you could give me a kiss? Your choice, really. Just offering some options”.

“Hmmm”, he pretended to think while turning to face you. “Ice cream sounds like the best option but I don’t see any places where we could buy it and those shoes actually look very comfy so I guess I’ll have to kiss you”.

“Poor you, it’s a big sacrifice but the points…”.

He interrupted you by placing a kiss on the tip of your nose, which made you laugh.

“That’s only half a point”.

“I have to do better then”.

He leaned down to kiss your lips and soon your arms were around his neck to help you kiss him better. One of his hands went to your waist while the other kept holding the basket until he got tired of not being able to hold you properly and dropped it, breaking your kiss for a second so you could laugh. And then you kissed again. Who cared about an old basket anyway?

“How many points was that?”

“Maybe…four? I don’t want you to get too comfortable by giving you too many”.

“Good…I love a challenge”.

                                     **

After that picnic date, there had been a few more. And now you texted each other every morning to know when to go to the lift and spend some minutes together before you both headed to work.

“You know”, you said one morning in between kisses. “We could take some selfies together. Not for your Instagram but for fun. It’s what made us talk to each other in the first place. It’d be cute”.

“Let’s do it”.

And when you were in the middle of taking another photo, the door opened on the 3rd floor and a neighbour looked at you with his eyebrows raised seeing the scene in front of him.

“I could wait if you’re busy…”.

“It’s ok”, you said, trying not to laugh. “We’re done. It’s for his Instagram. Not a model, just a footballer. This is part of the job apparently. Weird, I know”.

The neighbour kept looking at you two funny while Rúben pinched your arm and made you want to laugh even harder.

Minutes later, you were on the bus scrolling on social media when you got a notification for your Instagram that made you smile.

Rubendias

Finally found a selfie partner 📷

[ms-demeanor]

So i do have trouble running anything in my lap, but it is old and very basic but I can't really get a new one, how do i learn how to change its RAM, battery and anything that could make it perform better?

So I actually have a post that's a basic explainer on this kind of stuff, but here's my specific steps for figuring out if your computer can take more RAM, what kind of RAM it takes, and if/how you can install it.

If you're in a hurry or this entire thing looks intimidating, scroll down to the section with the pink text for a quick and dirty way to find what you're looking for that I don't wholly endorse because there are sometimes errors with this process.

This is literally my job, so while this guide won't cover all contingencies it is the basic process that I do every time I need to source upgrades for a computer.

How to Find RAM for your computer:

Step One: Identify the model of your computer. This is usually visible in a sticker with a barcode on the back of the tower or on the bottom of a laptop. If you aren't sure, you can search "how to find model number of [Samsung laptop][HP desktop][etc.]" I'm going to use a Lenovo M710e as my example here, because it was the computer I had to find RAM for yesterday.

So, the ThinkCentre M710e is the product line and the model/product number is 10UR001JUS. The product number gives us the information about the specific configuration of that computer when it was sold, while the product line gives us the general information about configurations that were produced as part of this line. So for example, all M710e desktops will accept the same RAM technology, but the 10UR001JUS specifically came with 2x4GB RAM modules while another line might have come with 1x8GB RAM installed.

GENERALLY SPEAKING it is better for you to work from your product ID/product number/model number and not from the product line.

Step Two: Find out what memory technology your computer uses, what's installed, and what the max your computer will accept is. Most manufacturers will have spec sheets, so if you search the part/product number you will likely see a link from the manufacturer for the specifications of that device. Here's the one for this computer:

So this tells me that the computer has 8GB total memory in 2 modules of DDR4 RAM with a speed of 2400 Mhz. When I am shopping for RAM the important numbers here are DDR4 and 2400. BUT this does not tell me how much RAM the computer can take or what the physical format of that RAM is, so I need to look a little more, which I do by searching "[model number] specifications," which brings me to a Newegg page that has more information about the specs:

This shows me that the computer has 8GB of DDR4 2400 RAM installed in 2 slots. It shows that the computer only has two slots, and it shows me that the maximum RAM for the computer is 32GB. What this means is that if I want to upgrade the RAM I would need to remove a module from at least one of the slots.

RAM tends to come in 4GB, 8GB, 16GB, and 32GB modules. If I wanted to increase the RAM in this computer for the least amount of money possible, I would add one 8GB module, and that would help the computer a lot, taking it from 8GB to 12GB. BUT if I wanted a higher performance for just a little bit more money, I'd replace both 4GB modules with 8GB modules. RAM is happier and works better when the modules in the computer match, so what I'd do is look for 2 8GB modules that are faster than 2400mhz.

Step Three: because I'm me and I was the one who initially ordered this computer five years ago and I have RAM upgrades for this model in my order history, this is where I would stop. But if it was for a computer that I wasn't familiar with, this is where I would check my work. I do this by going to the Crucial Memory tool:

I'd click on "upgrade my computer" and I'd use the "upgrade finder" option.

If you are searching for a RAM upgrade on the computer that you are currently using, you can use the Crucial Scanner tool which will read the specifications of your system and take you to recommended upgrades that Crucial thinks are compatible with your system. I do not 100% endorse doing this, and if you do use this option I recommend checking Crucial's work because I've ordered RAM on Crucial's recommendation in the past and then found that it was incompatible when we went to install.

But, like I said, I use the upgrade finder option. There are a TON of computers listed in this, so once you go through manufacturer (lenovo, in this example) and product line (for crucial, "product line" here means "thinkcentre") I'll use ctrl+F with "M710e" to find the actual product, because scrolling though this bullshit is for chumps:

That takes you to a page with what should be your computer's specs and recommendations for product upgrades:

As I scroll through, looking for 16GB upgrades, I notice that all the RAM listed is 288 pin, which is the correct size for this computer. RAM tends to come in two physical formats for consumers, Desktop RAM and Laptop RAM. Desktop RAM is longer, Laptop RAM is shorter. There are some more complicated layers to that, but what it means is that I need to match the RAM in my search to the format the computer uses.

So let's say that I want to upgrade my computer here and I decide that I want to go with the 3200 speed. So instead of buying from Crucial (which you could do if you wanted to) I decide to shop around. If I search for "16GB DDR4-3200" on Amazon here's what I get:

One of those is 288 pin and will fit in desktops, the other is 260 pin and will fit in laptops or very small form factor desktops. You need to make sure, either by checking the specifications from the manufacturer or on a ram compatibility site or PC part picker, that you are getting the correct physical format in addition to the correct size/technology/speed.

Step Four: Shop around. I prefer not to buy from Amazon when I can help it, and I like seeing what deals I can get. You *do* have the option of clicking "where to buy" on Crucial and there are usually several choices of where to get that specific Crucial part number, but I want to see if there are more generic options, or options from other brands I like.

A newegg search shows me an A-tech 16GB kit with the specs I'm looking for, but at a higher price than Crucial. Poking around a few places doesn't show me any better deals than Crucial, so I go back over to the crucial site, click on "where to buy" for the product I want, and choose to get it from B&H because it's not amazon and I've got an account there.

Step Five: Figure out how to put the RAM inside of your computer. The easiest way to do this is usually to check IFixIt.com, a website designed to show people how to fix their computers.

IFixIt has guides for some types of ThinkCentres but not an M710e. I can check out the M72e, because that's a pretty similar model, but then it turns out the page is a stub. So I search "how to upgrade RAM in Lenovo M710e" and I found the user manual, which has an diagram of the internal parts of the computer, an exploded view of where everything goes, and a section on replacing RAM modules.

Replacing RAM on most desktops is pretty simple, and if you haven't done it and this set of diagrams doesn't give you much information, I really recommend watching some videos from Paul's Hardware that show you how to handle computer components and identify what parts of a computer you're looking at.

Replacing RAM on laptops is usually a bit more complicated than on desktops. But sometimes it's even easier (one of my computers just had a little door on the bottom where you could add RAM if you needed to). Regardless, the principles are the same - there is a slot on the motherboard for you to put RAM in. Watch videos or look at tutorials for how to open up various kinds of computers and see if you're comfortable replicating those steps.

SOME CAVEATS:

Sometimes you can't add or replace RAM. Sometimes RAM is soldered directly on the motherboard. That should be noted somewhere in the manufacturer specifications.

Sometimes computers are more of a pain in the ass to upgrade than they're worth. Most ultra-slim laptops are difficult to get into and most all-in-ones are a *nightmare* to get into. Watch videos of people working on computers similar to yours before you buy anything to figure out if you're even going to be able to get into the damned thing.

On older laptops replacing the battery is very easy, on newer ones it's getting more difficult. Use the same process of identifying your computer model number to look up compatible batteries, then look up how to replace batteries. Sometimes they're just inaccessible and difficult to get at, and sometimes you literally don't even need tools besides your thumbs.

Anyway. That was kind of a lot. I hope it made sense. Check out the linked post at the beginning for tips on performance improvements outside of hardware upgrades, and good luck.

[marimayscarlett]

I sometimes wonder if where Richard lives is somewhere close to where the guys used to hang out in the early days. Prenzlauer Berg isn't that big, so I'm curious if there's any significance to the building because before he bought it, it wasn't much of anything (like most of PB).

It kinda sucks that early Rammstein days are not that well documented, at least not as extensively as Feeling B. I'm sure Paul has loads of photos, but no one filmed them that much.

Hi 👋

As a matter of fact, Richard apparently really does live close to precisely two locations which were rather significant in the early days of Rammstein.

In this interview, it is mentioned that his house is located near the spot where the Knaack Club existed. Here, Rammstein played their first concerts in the beginning of their career as well as when they were already very popular - this location doesn't seem to be that important to Richard, but the second one which is mentioned: near the Knaack Club, the former rehearsal room of Rammstein was located, which holds fond memories for him.

[Rammstein at the Knaack Club in 2004. They played three concerts to present their new album "Reise Reise" to their fans]

It's interesting to note that despite having lived at Prenzlauer Berg very early on (he moved there for I think two years when he was 19, but felt very lonely in this part of the city and spend most of his time playing guitar, mentioned here) and many memories were made there, Richard really isn't a big fan of the city. He mentioned numerous times that Berlin striked him as cold and elitist and doesn't overly feel like home, at least when he moved back there after his time in New York. Slowly he warmed up to the city, he doesn't really know where else he should live in Germany (mentioned here) and as a father, Richard is amazed how many playgrounds there are in Prenzlauer Berg 😊

Prenzlauer Berg in general is apparently in the process of heavy gentrification (a reason why the Knaack Club had to close its doors), which Richard heavily critizes, and he thinks that Prenzlauer Berg got rather boring now that a lot of artists can't afford the rent anymore. If he hadn't any personal relations to this district, he would've most likely live in Kreuzberg.

I don't know if the building held any significance before Richard bought it - he once mentioned that he actually didn't like the building in the beginning and only bought it because of the rooftop 😅

Regarding the documentation about the early Rammstein days: it really is noticeable that Feeling B has an extensive "archive" with videos and picture materials as well as a whole book ("Mix mir einen Drink") dedicated to their history. The book holds some information about the formation of Rammstein, but not a lot. There are two documentaries about punk music in the GDR in general, which also has some Rammstein/pre-Rammstein information (I can sadly only link the trailers since you have to buy them to watch them):

"flüstern & SCHREIEN - Ein Rockreport"

"ACHTUNG! WIR KOMMEN. UND WIR KRIEGEN EUCH ALLE."

A fotobook with Paul's pre-Rammstein pictures would be very informative, as well as some more picture material of the numerous other bands the band members originated from (Orgasm Death Gimmick, Die Firma, Das elegante Chaos, The Inchtabokatables and more). Well, we can dream 😊

[vocallywritten]

Season 2 of Play It By Ear is even better than the first season, and I will stand by that.

I liked the first season, but it honestly didn't have the same magic as the Mountport episode. That's not super surprising, since Welcome to Mountport was a lightning in a bottle kind of success and that's really hard to reproduce.

None of this to say that the first season wasn't good. It absolutely was. But you could tell they hadn't quite figured out the best format yet. Since Jess and Zach had their podcast with the same conceite as Play It By Ear, I'm sure that the folks at Dropout wanted to differentiate their own show from the podcast in some way. It seems like in the first season, they did that by having a more rigid set of prompts.

The prompts in the first season were a lot like the Mountport episode in that they were designed to guide the story. And of course they upped the ante by asking the actors to include certain changes to the music, or funny choices, which is kind of a natural progression from the "include this phrase" that Game Changer did.

But they also seemed to want to let the actors have more freedom to improv on Play It By Ear as well, which would sometimes clash with the more rigid directions Mano was given.

I imagine Sam decided not to host this show even though he did chose to host Game Changer's other spin off, Make Some Noise, in part because he wanted to make room for other talent on the dropout platform. (And also because hosting three shows is a lot.) But that's also a tricky situation because I think part of the appeal of the Welcome to Mountport episode WAS Sam's presence. His enthusiasm and the way he hyped up the cast was part of the charm of the episode.

So when Play It By Ear premiered, I'm sure there were people who were disappointed Sam wasn't there. However I think Mano was an excellent choice for host. He has a very similar energy to Sam's (in that he seems super happy to be there and hypes up his fellow cast members) without needing to act like Sam. They didn't get a Dollar Store Sam Reich to host this show, but found someone who brought the appropriate energy to the hosting role, is what I'm saying.

In season one, I kinda got the sense that Mano, on occasion, struggled with how rigid the format was because it put him in the position of needing to police the narrative a little bit. And it kinda sucks that him just doing his job and trying to keep things on track also kind of detracted from the quality of the show a little bit. I maintain that this was not his fault, or anyone's really. Again, I think the show just needed time to find it's footing and get the format down.

Which brings me to season two. This season it looks like the prompts are a little more general, or will suggest styles of music, rather than dictating a lot of story beats. I think this was absolutely 100% the right move.

Jess, Zach, and their costars all have a lot of experience doing exactly this, so giving them more freedom to take the story where ever they want is the best direction to take the show.

I think that this slight change to the format has also done wonders for Mano's dynamic with the rest of the cast.

Again, I think a huge part of the appeal of Mountport was how genuinely wholesome it was. Like everyone seemed very supportive of each other and like they were all having a blast being there. So I think Play It By Ear should have a similar, wholesome dynamic to be a true spin off. Last season, though it wasn't /too/ often, there were moments when Mano, as host, had to play up a little playful antagonism with the cast. But the whole cast vs host, Drew Carey-esque dynamic is already pretty well represented by Sam and his collegehumor cast. Dropout didn't need another, similar situation there, especially when the pilot episode very much did not feature that cast vs host relationship at all.

I think season two lends itself to a much more natural dynamic. One where Mano is guiding the story, rather than dictating it.

I did genuinely enjoy season one, but this season has really had a consistent spark that I haven't really seen since that first game changer episode.

The cast, crew, and of course the band are all doing such a marvelous job and I can't wait to see what happens next!

[fictionkinfessions]

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for mundane memories, formatted bc i saw others doing text like this and it looks Cute and Fun

╭─────────────╮

context: i am all might, this is my hero academia 😂

╰─────────────╯

📼💪 Hanta Sero: i have a lot of memories of him coming up to me and making observational jokes? like, endless hilarious jokes about really unexpected things

🍡🌌 Ochaco Uraraka: the poor girl was lacking funds and that resulted in some! very upsetting behavior! so i tried to make sure the student's fridge was always full and i got her a bunch of junk food and snacks all the time. i gave her an extra card i had and i also went a little overboard and got some room decorations and posters and stuff for her. she was the reason i changed the former policy that Might Tower's student outreach programs had, my dumb ass had not realized what was going on b4

📚🪆 Momo Yayorozu: the leader of the girl's sleepover squad. she was always getting new nail polish or types of tea or hair care products or face masks for all the girls to try together at a sleepover. and how do i know this? well, you'll never guess who was invited as an "honorary girl" to most of these sleepovers. it was shoto! betcha didn't see that coming. i was also there, haha!

🌑🐦‍⬛ Fumikage Tokoyami: he would write and share poetry often! it was pretty insightful and beautiful, and occasionally it would inspire his classmates bc i remember tsu sharing a few poems too

😈🗡️ Dark Shadow: dark shadow was such a disturbance in class until we started treating them like an actual person 😂 it made me rethink a lot of subtle rules that Nezu had, bc tokoyami's grades increased dramatically and dark shadow was able to perform better in P.E. when they knew the other parts of the lesson plan. who'd'a thunk it (this anime is a psychological horror)

🥊⛰️ Ejiro Kirishima: kirishima was so positive and supportive that you wouldn't expect him to struggle with negative self talk, but sometimes one on one tutoring got a little heavy! knowing his goals and inspirations helped me to give him pep talks and hype him up, and i also remember recommending a few movies, plus a documentary on crimson riot that he said he had never seen before. i told him i dye my hair too (bleach)

🪩🎭 Yuga Aoyama: after the whole. well. plot thing, he was so sad and so scared, but everyone in the class was very supportive and tried to be a good friend to him! he confided in me about feelings of guilt and shame sometimes, and i was grateful to be able to reassure him. it was also cool to be able to reassure him about having a quirk he wasn't born with, bc same hat.

🦁🥋 Mashirao Ojirou: we watched all of the star wars movies in 30 minute to an hour sessions after tutoring. his hero costume was inspired by luke skywalker's outfit in a new hope. it kind of ruled

👾💗 Mina Ashido: pinky helped me figure out a bunch of stretching routines for the class, especially her peers who had different body plans or muscle tension. tutoring her was more like her tutoring me half the time!!

🪞💡 Toru Hagakure: her quirk awakening was so cool, she got skilled enough at it to make bizarre glowing checkerboard patterns move across her body. she looked like a glitched minecraft texture sometimes, it was awesome

🐙🥷 Mezo Shoji: he was part of the poetry club and he also could play the sanshin (i think. it was tall and had three strings and he used a pick or his fingers). he was shy in front of groups but he was a beautiful performer and i might have cried the first time i heard him play

🍰🍬 Rikido Sato: he was so sweet and sensitive that he was one of the only people who could hold kouda's rabbit. i was in his room all the time because he kept baking me treats

🐇🕊️Koji Kouda: lemme tell you, this guy's quirk in the middle of summer when all the ants start trying to come indoors? game changer. one of my favorite things about him is he would baa like a sheep sometimes.

🚏⛑️ Tenya Iida: one time he ran out of glasses by breaking them all and he had to wear prescription swim googles until his replacements arrived. pure game, legends only

🎤🎚️ Kyoka Jirou: she made some seriously killer remixes in her free time, it was so awesome being able to hear them, like itching part of my brain. extremely stimmy hyperpop shawn wasabi core stuff, bangers only

🔥🧊 Shoto Todoroki: he had this ongoing theme where he would get mismatched red and white stuff, like pairs of shoes, which matched his hair colors. i remember him getting both vanilla and strawberry whenever he would get sweets, and he had this big knit blanket that was half white and half red that he used in the common area sometimes

🐸🌧️ Tsuyu Asui: tsu would ask the most interesting questions sometimes. like sometimes you'd just be sitting there in the common room doing something else, and she'd come up to you and then read you so severely it'd give me whiplash. i saw a few students react... poorly, to this, at times, but i think it was a testament to how observant tsu was that she could pinpoint not only someone's insecurities but even a few explanations for those insecurities, accurately. and some of her classmates seemed to really appreciate being so Seen and Known. definitely a trait that's valuable in a hero!! extremely awkward when she called me out on my hygiene due to my mental health 😂

🍇⛓️‍💥 Minoru Mineta: i dunno how to say this but in my canon she was trans. idk. an integral member of the girl's sleepover squad. as soon as she felt accepted she became the most cool and chill person ever, everyone loved her

🥦🐰 Izuku Midoriya: pretty much the most common activity Izuku did besides work out was sit next to me with his notebook and write stuff about me in it. he had a ruler or sometimes a measuring tape that he would use, and i would catch him measuring random parts of my body when i wasn't looking and writing it down. dude knew the exact length of my wrinkles and what not. just complete fanboy behavior, he had his hyperfixation on lock

*~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~*

🎞️♟️ Sir Nighteye: one of the most common memories i have is this repeated situation that i put us through where i had a crush on him, right? so i would be on the verge of confessing or kissing him or holding his hand but then he would use his quirk on me and see that i was about to do that and then he would get so flustered that i wouldn't. which is changing the future btw jsyk

🛡️⌨️ David Shield: shout out to that one semester of college where whenever i went to find david he was in the labs working without eating or sleeping, listening to ABBA on repeat. what a legend.

🔎👔 Naomasa Tsukauchi: when i met his sister for the first time then it suddenly explained like so much about him. he also helped me connect with an organization to foster kittens when i was rescuing them outside of work. we would text each other memes

👁️❌ Eraserhead: aizawa had this secret evil sixth sense where he could just tell whenever i was smoking and would magically appear out of nowhere (feeding stray alley cats) and catch me in the act (trying to quit)(not succeeding)(nicotine gum did not help)

🔊🎙️ Present Mic: president michael's radio show was extremely popular so whenever he would do a call challenge then his work phone would be destroyed with incoming messages. he was pretty much always ringing off the hook with work stuff but it was insurmountable on giveaway days.

🪤🔒 Midnight: we would go out drinking with her friends a lot, sometimes with coworkers but sometimes she would introduce me to all sorts of folks. she was extremely social and popular??!

👻🗃️ Ectoplasm: he flipping loved karaoke, he would only go out with any of us if we were going to do karaoke. he would use his quirk to sing harmonies. he also did jigsaw puzzles in the common area sometimes, and sudoku.

⚕️🌀 Thirteen: she had such a messed up sleep schedule dude, so when we figured out that we had the same taste in tv then the dorm couch became like. a crash pad. usually one of us was leaving a recently vacated depression nest of blankets and snacks with a nature documentary playing

🚧🏢 Cementoss: ken was such a sweetheart he was always giving me sweets and trying to care for my wellbeing. he liked nature documentaries too so he was part of the late night cuddle puddle often, altho he usually went to bed instead of sleeping on the couch

╚═ * .·:·.✧ ✦ ✧.·:·. * ═╝

x

[bangbangchann]

HARSH TIDES - DAY ONE

word count: 1.1k

cw: mentions of war, strong language, violent themes, hatred for reader.

masterlist.

Outbreak of war is inevitable. It is in the very human DNA to fight other humans for a piece of land. Now how ambitious the attacking humans felt for the size of the land they were aiming for varies.

Chan knew - albeit very deep down - that as soon as he joined the navy he would be wrapped up in a war sooner or later. Honestly he didn't expect it to be this soon.

Chan sighed as he looked at his fleet, the glorious Fifth Fleet's formation for the tenth time within not even three minutes. 

General Major of the operation Im Jae Beom - by far Chan's superior - instructed that he and another Admiral of the Crescent Navy would join forces and lead the offensive against the enemy. An enemy which he didn't even know about a week ago.

"Will you stop huffing like that? I'm starting to think there's something really wrong with you." Vice Admiral of the Fifth Fleet Lee Minho, Chan's trusted comrade and good friend, spoke out in annoyance.

Chan couldn't help but huff once more, as if Minho told him to continue huffing instead.

He couldn't help it, his blood pressure had reached skyrocketing levels, not only because of the war in general, but most importantly because he still didn't know which Admiral and which fleet he would have to team up with for the rest of the operation.

He slowly massaged his temples, head down towards the floor and legs crossed in his seat,

"I'm starting to think there's something really wrong with me too." Chan trailed off.

"Dude, there's nothing wrong with you," Minho rolled his eyes and sat next to his Admiral, 

"You're just extremely stressed to the point of a stroke. I get it, but you don't have to worry. We've been over the plan with the General Major five times now. Everything will go according to plan." Minho tried - key word tried - to smile comfortingly at him.

Chan furrowed his brows with newfound thought.

"It's not the plans.. why would Jae Beom ship out another fleet? Are we that low grade to him that we need a helping hand?" the more he spoke, the more frustrated he became,

"I've proven and my men have proven how capable we are! We have the Crescent Airforce as support sure but we don't need six other ships out here too!" Chan yelled out with exasperation, his hands flailing around him wide open. 

He huffed again - seemingly a recurring pattern for him - and fell back in his chair, rubbing his hands forcibly up and down his face.

"I just hope it's Mingyu and the Fourth Fleet.." Chan groaned under his palms, the result of his sentence sounding muffled and borderline unintelligible if it wasn't for Minho's understanding of the Admiral's behavior.

Even though Chan was visibly on thin ice with his frustration levels and high blood pressure, Minho couldn't help but tease,

"What if it's the newly promoted Second Fleet?" he raised his eyebrows suggestively.

Chan snapped his head from his palms to glare at the Vice Admiral,

"I swear to God Minho if you jinx this and that witch comes I'm throwing you overboard to the sharks." 

And by God did he mean it.

Y/N Y/L/N was not someone Chan even wanted to affiliate with.

Since the beginning of time - exaggeration from Chan’s part - she was out to get him. That was the only logical conclusion he had for what she had done to him. 

He had met her in his fifth week of training as a simple soldier, in fact, he remembers that day as clear as day. He was stationed to clean the ports for a physical exercise later that day with his good friend Mingyu when he saw the then Vice Admirals of the Third and Fifth Fleets show new recruits around the camp. 

He’d rather die than admit that Y/N had caught his attention the moment he laid his eyes on her. But it was the truth. Her radiant smile and crinkled eyes as she took in the campsite and the docks was still ingrained into his brain.

Being a naive little boy, he agreed to Mingyu’s idea to approach the group of recruits and introduce themselves, he would see them in the cafeteria and during drills either way so there was no harm in approaching them - said Mingyu at least. 

Boy was he wrong.

His shimmering image of Y/N fell apart the moment she opened her mouth. From that interaction alone, he didn’t want to be around her, not even for one second. And worst of all?

He didn’t know to this day why Y/N was just so rude to him from the beginning.

Minho scoffed and rolled his eyes, 

“I still don’t know why the two of you hate each other but like it or not, joining fleets would be the ideal in this situation. Her fleet is renowned for being one of the hardest trained and best-”

“Yeah, I know ‘best fleets in the Crescent Navy’.” Chan cut him off with an eye roll of his own.

“Real talk, why do you hate that woman? She’s been nothing but kind to the rest of us.” Minho inquired further. By the rest of them, he meant their Rear Admirals’ Yang Jeongin, Han Jisung and Lee Felix. 

“Real talk? I have no fucking clue. From the moment I met her she has been nothing but fucking rude to me!”

“Maybe you did something to her, then?”

“Oh fuck off Minho.” Chan shot him a glare and waved him off, going back to rubbing his face with his palms. 

Minho snickered and walked out of his office and back to the docks. He had a strong feeling he would be seeing the Second Fleet soon, he just hoped it was after Chan had calmed himself at least a little bit. 

Luck was not on his side because he heard the signature honking of the Second Fleet from the distance coming right towards them. He guessed Chan must have heard it too because he heard a door slam and angry stomping headed his way.

"I'm throwing you overboard you cunt!" Chan hollered as he made his way towards the Vice Admiral.

But he had been too late, for he heard the Second Fleet's booming Vice Admiral greeting them, even if the distance between their ships was still quite big. Chan felt his left eye starting to tick with annoyance.

And adding to his annoyance, he could also make out the figure of the Admiral next to the loud Vice with crossed arms and what he could only picture as an annoying smirk on her lips.

This would be a looong operation.

all rights reserved bangbangchann 2023. no rewrites or translations.

TAGLIST: @lilybahng

[fostersffff]

The Big Gundam Watch, Part 14: Mobile Suit Victory Gundam

What a mistake it would have been for me to skip this series.

I observed in my last post that opinions on Victory Gundam seem more volatile than ZZ, and now I understand why. Like F91 before it, Victory Gundam is an attempt at soft rebooting the Universal Century, but obviously unlike F91, it had the chance to be a full, ~50 episode TV series. I can say with confidence now that this is the format in which Yoshiyuki Tomino is at his most powerful.

For better and for worse, Victory Gundam takes the essence of nearly everything that came before and refines it into a more pure, undiluted version of itself. I'm of the opinion that this works brilliantly for the most part, although when it does fall flat, it really hits with an echoing thud. Even so, Victory Gundam has usurped ZZ when it comes to my opinion on "the true successor" to 0079. A lot of that is down to executing on a most of ZZ's plot beats and character archetypes better, but it also adds some new elements that improve upon it as well. With that said, I can think of no better element to start with than with the belle of the ball herself, Katejina Loos.

CATEGORY 5 WHITE WOMAN

I have been thoroughly enchanted by the story of Katejina Loos. I knew, via osmosis, that she was a Bad Woman who does Bad Things, but I wasn't exactly sure what that really meant. That descriptor applies to characters like Haman Karn- who I love- Reccoa Londe- who I hate (affectionate)- and Michele Luio- who I hate (derogatory). She has a little bit in common with all three, because she's all the most stereotypical "evil woman" traits wrapped into a single character, but what makes that so engaging is watching how those traits get worse and worse and fucking worse over time, in a way that is kind of disturbingly mundane.

Katejina starts out as what I can most succinctly describe as a Privileged White Liberal; she's from money, but because she hates most of the wealthy people around her- including her own dad- she considers herself wholly different from them. Because of how they shuffled the first few episodes, her introduction is literally "I'm glad all those rich assholes died", glazing over both the grotesque cruelty of the situation because she thought they were bad people who deserved to die anyway and also that she is, in fact, one of those rich assholes.

At first she goes along with the League Militaire, mainly because there's nowhere else to go anyway, but she often bristles against most of the other members. This is because they pretty willing to point out that she's a rich asshole, but also more importantly because she disagrees with them using Uso as a pilot for the Victory. It's entirely possible this may have been amicably resolved- especially considering her initial attitude towards the Zanscare Empire is "they're obviously bad guys"- if not for her abduction by Cronicle Asher (who, by the way, may have The Most Tomino Name).

At this point I need to take a detour to talk about him, and how one of the other smartest things Tomino did was make Victory's Char completely unlike Char. While he is scheming against the Zanscare Empire's military dictatorship, he's a genuine believer in Mariaism- a matriarchal doctrine advocating for peace in space- and wants to elevate his sister (the titular Maria from Mariaism and Queen of the Zanscare Empire) from merely being a figurehead to the actual ruler of the empire. However, instead of subterfuge and betrayals, he's trying to change the system from within, doing his duty as a soldier with the utmost diligence so he can rise through the ranks, which will allow him to achieve his goals while not inadvertently destabilizing the empire (and thus Maria's access to power). He's maybe the most Straight-Edge Good Boy I've seen in a Gundam series, but unfortunately, all of that Good Boy Energy is being used in service of the genocidal military dictatorship. He regularly expresses distaste for the methods Zanscare's military regularly employs, but he carries out those cruel tasks anyway, because ultimately, the end will justify the means.

With all that in mind, Cronicle being the one to abduct Katejina is legitimately the point of no return for her. That genuine Straight-Edge Good Boyness of his endears her to him immediately, which leads her to reconsider what she thought of the Zanscare Empire; after all, Cronicle treats her with such a great deal of kindness and respect, so surely they can't all be bad. That one commanding officer even shot the subordinate who tried to feel her up, even! Combine that with the fact that the members of the League Militaire were mean to her, and that they have to use an innocent little baby boy like Uso to fight for them... maybe she was wrong about who the bad guys were.

I'll speed it along here, but what is essentially a corruption arc is on full display from this point forward. Slowly, she starts to integrate herself more and more within the Zanscare Empire's military, halfheartedly trying to justify what she's doing as "spying" to Uso and company until she doesn't even care to bother with that anymore, more and more convinced that Cronicle is just, and his plan to elevate Maria as the true ruler is for the greater good. The last act of kindness she musters for Uso is letting him know Shahkti and the others are safe, but the next time we see her after that is in a Zanscare dress uniform, and then later in the same episode, in a Zanscare mobile suit.

And once that threshold has been crossed, she continues to sink lower, going from "maybe we can just... capture Uso, and bring him over to our side" to "he's gotta go". And then she starts employing increasingly depraved methods of "he's gotta go", sliding from simply killing him in combat, to ordering the all-female imperial guard to fight him on foot and naked (or as naked as early 90's Japanese TV would allow) to try to fuck with his head, to finally faking a surrender after she's already lost everything so she can stab him, because fuck him.

If the League Militaire (and Uso as its spearhead) had just fucked off and let Zanscare achieve their goals, Cronicle would have eventually usurped the military dictatorship, given Maria the freedom to enact her will, and everything would have been perfect. It would've been like a fairy tale: she's swept off her feet by a handsome prince who enlists her aid to rescue to queen, and in saving her, they save the whole kingdom, and then they live happily ever after. The only minor caveat was the mountains of innocent corpses it was all built upon.

Uso- the innocent little baby boy no more- took all that away from her- the prince was dead, the queen was dead, and the kingdom had fallen apart- and rather than actually admit defeat or commit suicide, she instead continues to try to kill him, until her brain basically poisons itself as a self-preservation tactic- it's not the V2's Wings of Light that blind her, it's literally her own rage.

And, shockingly, that's where she ends up. Still alive, but unable to see the world around her anymore and with no memory of anything but where she lived. Karlmann's name evokes a memory she can't access anymore, which makes her cry for reasons she can't understand. Shahkti gives her a replacement compass so she can make her way back to Uwig and continue to live, and presumably just live... assuming Uwig has even been rebuilt, considering this series seems to take place within the span of a year (if Marbet's pregnancy is anything to go by). It's honestly a much crueler fate than I was expecting, but it's hard to argue it's not one she earned.

All of this is to say: it's possible I may change my opinion once recency bias wears off, but I think Katejina Loos is maybe my favorite single character in a Gundam show to date. A perfectly executed villainess, top to bottom.

And, you know, nice thick eyebrows, which is terrific.

Now that I've finished gushing, let's get to the normal segments:

THE STUFF I LIKED

This series is just ripe with Tomino names. Cronicle Asher, Maria Pure Armonia, Karlmann Dukatus, Junko Jenka, Duker Iq... and I would be remiss not to mention that while not explicitly said in the series, Marbet's last name is Fingerhat.

I adore the technology level of UC 0153. We've advanced forward from F91 and now goddamn near everything is beam-based; even things that aren't mobile suits use beams because the technology is so normalized. I'm also of the opinion that it's enhanced further by Tomino's obvious appreciation of the aesthetic of Pastoral European Landscapes and 20th Century European Cities; the visual clash of super futuristic robots and old-timey environments worked in F91, it worked better here, and I imagine it'll continue to be just as strong- if not stronger- in Turn A and Reconguista in G

I know on a meta level that Victory Gundam was pushed even harder than previous Gundams in the direction of MAKE TOY, which sounds like a nightmare creatively, but fuck if they didn't make it work. The in-universe justification for most of the wheel-based weapons is goofy, but damned if they don't make the Einerad (The Tire) one of the most devastatingly effective support units in the franchise. And, to be honest, if I had access to a toy as a kid that was just a cool robot inside of a wheel, it would've been, like, my favorite toy.

Plus, despite my noted dislike of the Zakrello from 0079 for being a Goofy Snake Ship, having most of the Zanscare's mobile suits have the dogu statue eyes that open into vertical slits is a great unifying aspect that is also super different from Zeon's monoeyes.

One of the coolest things about this series is how it flips the formula from 0079, Zeta, and ZZ with regards to setting. It starts on Earth, which frames space and the colonies as different and scary. Like, it was fascinating in 0079 to see the White Base crew react the way they did to a thunderstorm and other Earth phenomena we obviously take for granted, but here's it's like: hey man, space is fucking scary! I was genuinely anxious watching Shahkti and Suzy trying to get Karl and Flanders into normal suits.

This also extends to the finale taking place on Earth, which is a genuine first for the franchise. You'd think this would make things slightly less deadly overall, but man Cronicle goes out in a bad fuckin' way.

Following up on that: I love Angel Halo as the ultimate threat (with one caveat I'll mention that in the next section). "Total Human Regression as performed by Warhammer 40k's Golden Throne" is much more horrifying than what I was expecting (which was A Super Duper Space Laser), especially considering they showed what happens if everyone in an arbitrary area suddenly falls asleep, and that every time someone blew up a section of Angel Halo, civilian bodies would just FLOOD out.

I also really liked how the memories Angel Ring was evoking when Maria was trying to pacify Uso were just ever so slightly wrong, in terms of what the characters are saying. That's a very tiny detail to address in such a long series, where most people wouldn't even remember what was actually said as it was airing, but it's appreciated.

At this point I consider Tomino to be pretty masterful at a lot of things, but I think one of his strongest abilities is writing mascot characters who are good. Victory Gundam has a baby, a dog, and the most talkative Haro yet, and all three of them are great. Karl and Flanders are just a normal baby and dog who primarily either enhance hijinks or raise stakes, and Haro earns the extra lines it has by constantly being in MVP in bad situations.

THE STUFF I LIKED LESS:

It was dumb that they arbitrarily had Episode 4 as the first episode so they could show the completed Victory Gundam right away, and then spend the next three episodes framed with Shahkti going "well Karl, as you know...". I know this ties back to toys, but surely it could've just been written differently in the first place.

While I did like Zanscare's refusal to acknowledge the Victory, Hexa, and V2 as Gundams, I'm so mad they were mainly referred to as "the white ones" instead of "white devils". "The White Devil" is my favorite name for the RX-78-2 and I hate that it doesn't get used more referencing Gundams, especially in contexts like this.

So obviously from a series composition point of view it was never going to be the case, but I was bummed out that in-universe, Marbet was intended to be the League Militaire's ace and got sidelined due to her injury. This isn't such a big deal, because she contributes regularly and actually lives through to the end in what I would consider to be the best possible circumstances (Oliver is dead and instead she has Uso, Shahkti, Karl, and Flanders as a family), but it's was just like "aw no you're so much cooler than this dumb kid with a bowl cut!"

I straight-up don't like Oliver. He just shows up randomly but everyone knows who he is, he's revealed to be the commander of the Shrike Team (who actually are foreshadowed in an earlier episode!) but arrives without them for some reason, he has a strained romantic history with Marbet, and he gets a completely unearned Bright Slap shortly after showing up, which is already something I hate outside of its original context in 0079. Then despite denying it, it really seems like he shacks up with Marbet because Junko died and she wins by default, and then after nutting inside he just killed himself in spectacular fashion, achieving nothing. Fuckin'... bad vibes, all around.

Lupe Cineau, huh? My complaint here isn't that she's a weird pedophile, bur rather that she really shouldn't have been? Her introduction is that she's a Stone Cold Bitch, murdering the guys in the bar she just got information from when she first shows up. And her tactic to try to seduce Uso into joining up with Zanscare seemed less like "oh my, a cute little boy, I know exactly what to do..." and more of a dismissive "he's like 12, all I need to do is show hole and he'll be in our pockets forever". Like, 'she fails at seducing a 12 year old because she's too much of a Stone Cold Bitch' is the point of that entire scene! Statistically, not every antagonist could be a quality one, but it felt like they just scrambled to figure out how to reintroduce and get rid of her, and the bath scene was the most memorable thing about her, so: pedophile.

There sure is a lot of biology in this series! Most of it has to do with Karlmann, naturally, but I was taken aback at the scene of Shahkti washing the diapers in the river and you see his poop get washed away. Odelo pissing himself and it filling up the bottom of his normal suit was gross but like... kind of informative on how that works? But then the scene where Cronicle redirects Suzy to the bathroom when she sleepwalks to pee in the hallways was just... eugh.

I don't know why they felt compelled to allude to the threat of Angel Halo's psycommu physically degenerating people as well. "Everyone on Earth will mentally become an infant, and if they don't die in the initial collapse of infrastructure that causes, they'll eventually starve to death because they lack the capacity for self-preservation" is scary enough!

I can't really begrudge Tomino for reusing it, because it's a powerful scene, and Karl was much more important to this story, but the fact that Karl has the same origin story as the F91 baby was just like "you can't just do that again, man". It's not even as good a moment because the pilot intentionally shoots down Karl's mother, versus F91 baby's mom just accidentally getting brained by a spent shell. They're even wearing similar outfits!

OTHER OBSERVATIONS

I've read that this is, or was at the time, Hideaki Anno's favorite Gundam series, and lines up with when he would've been making Evangelion- and I definitely think he cribbed some things. As soon as I saw the episode title "Beneath the Ultra-High Altitude Attack" my eyes narrowed, and I can't be convinced that Arael wasn't inspired by the Zanneck and Fuala's mental instability. Also: Angel Ring and Human Instrumentality and the associated Christian imagery.

Speaking of Fuala Griffon, she is Victory Gundam's winner of the "fucking insane fit" award, wearing an oversized suit and porkpie hat while riding a dirtbike with the biggest case of resting bitchface I've seen since Monsly in Future Boy Conan.

I kind of regret learning about trigger discipline (keeping your trigger finger extended along the side of the barrel of a gun until you're actually going to fire) because now it's one of those things I look for everywhere, but in this case I do think it's the second most telling detail about Cronicle's character. The other being the fact that Flanders is cool with him.

Speaking of Cronicle and guns, for however out of character it may have been I was hootin' and hollerin' when Shahkti stole his gun and shot him.

Final note on Cronicle: My favorite thing about his mask that I only realized in writing this post is that it's the inverse of Char's, covering everything but his eyes and hair.

I really like the Eyecatch Flipbook they must have made to include as an extra for the laserdisc release of the series, but it does kinda... disrupt some things. Most notably in the last episode where you get the very violently abrupt shot Cronicle slamming into a piece of Angel Halo before cutting to HARO WORLDWIDE with the cute little jingle.

I legitimately thought Maria's demonstration where she healed the sick was staged. Like, it would be revealed that Maria was a low-level Newtype with some genuine power, but all the people who claimed to have been healed during that demonstration were crisis actors designed to make the public fall in line. In hindsight, I don't even know if "crisis actors" was a concept anyone had ever thought of before the turn of the century.

I alluded to it in another post, but due to the scant few memes that have circulated about this series, I was shocked to learn the Shrike Team were protagonist-aligned. I thought that they were the ones who did the Bikini Bazooka Attack, because a second faction made up entirely of beautiful women just seemed unlikely, and I kept trying to figure out at one point they were going to turn on Uso, especially considering most of them are dead before the halfway point.

I'm really proud of the image I used for the header, and was initially planning on doing a full video of the clip, but video editing is hard. Then I was going to photoshop in more characters' faces but I didn't want to hunt for images of the right angle for that many characters. But that was a really good Shahkti face, so I left it in.

IN CONCLUSION

Victory Gundam is without a doubt my favorite of the Tomino-directed TV shows thus far, and in the upper eschelon of favorite Gundam shows. For however much he hated doing the series and may still hate it in hindsight, it's not like he just phoned it in. It's got a good cast, good conflict, good mobile suit designs, and despite a massive kill count and some really fucked up parts, it doesn't strike me as being particularly edgy or even mean-spirited. It's absolutely not going to hit the same for everyone, but I think if Tomino's other Gundams clicked with you, it's more than worth a shot.

Next up: considering I've already watched the next two entries in chronological order, I'll be moving ahead to the third Gundam OVA series, The 08th MS Team, notable for being the first new entry in the Universal Century timeline following G Gundam and Gundam Wing and for often being recommended in the same breath as War in the Pocket. Considering how that turned out, I'm optimistic that this will also be good, and if nothing else, it's sure to have that 90's Anime OVA budget going for it, much like Stardust Memory.

[marypsue]

what has griffin mcelroy taught you about the dreaded middle of a story, if you don't mind me asking? i've listened to taz and i feel like i have the barest memories of this being mentioned, but for the life of me i can't remember the details

So I have to apologise, because it wasn't something that he said directly or a piece of advice that he gave, exactly. And I don't know that I can say that everything about what I learned came directly through TAZ Balance, or if TAZ Balance was just a lens through which I could finally see and understand some things that had been building up for some time before that.

BUT.

For the longest time, I had a bad habit of getting hung up in the middle part of any story I was working on. I had a vague sense that Something had to happen between the inciting incident and all the 'ooh, what's going on?!' of the first third, and the big reveals and explosions and fanfare of the final third. But I had absolutely no idea how to map out what actually had to...happen, in that middle third. So I mostly just...didn't.

This, as you may have realised, is an excellent way to get hopelessly lost and mired in the Dreaded Middle, and never make it to that fun exciting ending that you have in mind.

I'm not sure why it was TAZ Balance that unlocked something for me. Whether it was the fact that I was listening to Griffin's Baby's First Long-Form Narrative unfold as it was written, or if it was the collaborative TTRPG format, or what. But there were two important things that I figured out about the Dreaded Middle as a result of listening to TAZ Balance.

First, that I had some secret rules about the Dreaded Middle, that even I hadn't realised I had. One of those rules was also a misconception about outlining - I felt like I had to know exactly how everything in the Dreaded Middle was going to go, how it was all going to play out, before I could write it. I felt like I couldn't put a problem in front of my characters that I didn't already know the solution to.

But listening to some of the big TAZ moments - the train crash in Rockport Express, Hands Outstretched - and The The Adventure Zone Zones about them, and realising that Griffin set up an interesting problem and then let his players figure out the solution, and that sometimes the solution they came up with was not the solution he'd had in mind, but actually ended up making the story better, really illuminated it for me. I didn't have to be all things to my story at all times. I could break it down - come up with a fun and interesting problem to put in front of my characters, and then come at it from the perspective of my characters and try to figure out how to solve that problem and get to the next big interesting thing to happen in the story.

(Jettisoning this secret rule has also really helped me embrace outlining, which has helped me improve hundredsfold as a writer. With my previous secret rule in place, of course outlining felt boring and soul-draining and like it sucked all the fun and spontaneity out of writing! Because it did! Because I was trying to plan out every single little moment, down to the last detail, in chronological order, instead of figuring out what my big problems were going to be first, and then going through and brainstorming what possible solutions there could be to them and what I would need to add to or remove from the story to allow each solution to work!)

The second thing that I learned from TAZ Balance was that I was thinking of a story in three parts: beginning, middle, and end. And I had a sense of The Middle as a place where stuff had to happen in between The Beginning and The End, so that the story would be long enough to feel satisfying. But somewhere in the back of my mind, I had this sense of The Middle as...well, basically filler.

I cannot put my finger on why, exactly, TAZ Balance was the thing that broke me out of that mindset. Maybe it had something to do with how each individual story arc was, well, its own story with rising action and a climax within the larger, overarching story? Maybe it was just that everything that happened was so much fun, even if it didn't necessarily feel...connected to the larger, overarching story in a way that was easy and natural to parse? Maybe it was the fact that Griffin threw everything and the kitchen sink, genre-wise, at it? I don't know.

But for some reason, listening to that show was the first time I really got that the Dreaded Middle was not really a separate, discrete, modular piece of story, but just...the beginning and the ending running into each other. Yeah, it has its own fun problems - and they can get weird and apparently unrelated to the Big Overarching Story! - but it also is just the place where all the 'ooh, what's going on!?' of the first third flows almost invisibly into the reveals and explosions and fanfare of the final third.

I had a secret rule here, too, about how long the story had to go on before certain types of big reveals and dramatic moments could be 'allowed'. And, while I didn't identify it and jettison it immediately after finishing TAZ Balance, I know that TAZ Balance contributed. No part of the Dreaded Middle needs to be filler. Stuff can just happen. This isn't Disneyland, you don't have to hang around waiting for your FastPass time. The story doesn't have to have boring stuff you have to get through to get to the interesting bits. The interesting bits are the story.

So! In a nutshell, that is my advice for dealing with the Dreaded Middle, thanks to Griffin McElroy and the shenanigans of his family. 1) You don't need to know the solution when you come up with the problem, that's what the writing part's for, and 2) if you're getting bored and bogged down in the Dreaded Middle, make one of the things you're looking forward to happen.

[onlyhereforghosttrick]

I would really like to know more about your pmd oc's. Tell me as much about them as you want (if you want to of course). I'd love to hear everything about them.

Ooh thanks a ton for the very open-ended ask! Sadly, most of the ones I have have a greater story behind them that I don't really mind spoiling, but I can at the very least give you some from the archives of [admittedly mostly abandoned] works, including one I'm hoping to get the prologue out sometime this month!

The Other Side [Gti-inspired sort-of-sequel]

Only really one character I want to show off from this one- Ryei [pronounced Re-ay] the Snover, a human-turned-pokemon in a world that now seems to have been almost rewritten to think of humans being reincarnated as a curse, and finds himself now having to balance three things: Finding out the truth of what happened to change the perception of humans so drastically, Joining a Pikachu named Kishi in her exploration team, and the part where he's switching bodies with a Noibat named Daisukei every night, who seems to have been taken in by Outlaws who are really just looking to survive more than anything.

I liked the idea of it, but I couldn't figure out how to format it- how to decide who the perspective would be, the pacing, all that stuff- so it's basically been abandoned. I'll likely continue it if I'm ever hit with a double lightning strike of ideas or something, but for now I won't be working on it.

Curse of a Martyr [EoS AU]

A fairly simple explorers AU I concocted when board on the cruise I posted a few images of, but ended up abandoning because it wasn't that interesting, so here are essentially the culmination of what I had imagined for the [main three] characters:

Shomoto the Treecko - He's just your average Explorers hero treecko, with the one difference being the fact that he hits like a truck [i.e. a level 40], despite apparently still being level 5, and the fact he isn't even sure if he's a human.

Eifos the Zorua - Yeah, just about a normal Explorers partner, except with the insecurities cranked up a few levels thanks to Shomoto's sheer power, and also without Team Skull's harassment [they're scared of Shomoto's sheer stats]

Yuki the human - You know, most Pokemon recognize tales of humans arriving in the form of pokemon to assist with a disaster, not humans arriving on their own to cause a disaster.

Honestly, the only other thing I had settled aside from these characters was a scene during the lake guardians arc in which well... Let's just say a pokeball is involved, Shomoto gets in the way, and the level gap becomes far too apparent.

All to Nothing - A [Mostly] original actual project

This is the only of these with any active work being done, although currently being only halfway ready to release the prologue to the public- so I'll just give a few [admittedly summarized] character bios:

Aster the Ivysaur - Waking up to find herself in a cruel 'game' where the punishment for failure is death, and she has to place her faith in a partner she's never met before... And what's more, the memories she has are all faded at best, and the question of who she is would be one she might never find the answer to... if she doesn't take a risk, and fast.

Chera the Clefairy - When he finds himself thrown into a game meant to test the contetsants in an unknown aspect with memories that don't quite fit together... Including the fact they might have been a human in a past life. And yet, for some reason he can't quite recall... he knows he should never tell anyone that again. ...Or was it something else he shouldn't have said...?

Aside from that there aren't any characters I can A. write good descriptions for, or B. write descriptions with minimal spoilers in them.

But uh that's kind of it for OCs I can show? Sorry if it isn't exactly what you were looking for- the main set I have, I'm already doing lore posts for [the first of which you might have seen- it's here if you haven't], and I don't really want to double dip, and I don't think I'm great at talking about my own stories without spoiling them- I hope this slight middle ground is acceptable to you.

[accirax]

Disventure Camp All Stars Power Ranking (Round 16)

Ah, the sweet sixteenth. At this crucial final 5 vote-out, will I be able to rein my theories in, or will I just be horsing around? With this few players left in the game, it's harder to distinguish between yay and nay.

In case you haven't seen my previous power rankings, the Power Ranking Format is essentially a way of ranking how well each player is doing in the game. So, in essence, this is a long form way of predicting who I think will be eliminated from the competition in the next episode. There will be spoilers for last week's episode (obviously) and its power ranking, so make sure to read that first if you don't want to be spoiled on how I ranked our last boot. If you want more clarification on the rules, that first post will help you out as well. Furthermore, I'm going to be spoiling the preview for next episode, so if you want to go in TOTALLY blind, save this for later. Let's go!

Recap - Alec's Elimination

Current Score: 70 acquired/103 total

(Points versus @venus-is-thinking: 21 acquired/29 total)

"But, I really feel like it has to be Riya's time to go. If it isn't, well... I hope the rest of my list holds up well enough."

Given that Riya didn't get eliminated last week, I'm happy to report that I did put the correct boot in my second best spot. Makes me feel a little better, after my Gabby and Aiden blunders. What I'm not happy to report is that one of my favorite characters this season (and in Season 1) is now out of the game. That's quite saddening. But, I'm not too upset about it.

In the entire pre-merge portion of the game, I knew as I was watching Alec absolutely slay that he was going to have a downfall eventually. Now, I didn't know that said downfall would involve a romantic entanglement with Riya and getting idoled out, but I also didn't know that he'd be able to repair and reflect more on his relationship with Connor, so, pros and cons! Or, rather, cons and pros. And he gets to be in the Loser's Motel episode with Fiore now, hehehe >:)c

While I wish he could have had a nicer exit for his sake, I understand that villains need to be "punished" in shows like these-- and, y'know, at least he wasn't blown up and exploded at age 6 with no support! (/j) Plus, he did get some closure in the form of coming to terms with why his relationships were failing, and having hope for moving on in the future. It was kinda bs that he lost that puzzle challenge because he needed to not be immune for plot reasons in this episode, though. The Alec I know could have smashed a twelve piece jigsaw in seconds. (/j)

Trailer Analysis

Trevor and Emily are back at it again. Are the interns also not allowed to use their phones, or is that just the campers? Just looking out for Trevor's future employment potential, especially in light of Kristal potentially quitting as host.

I guess Riya is worried about appearing in front of a camera now? Perhaps Connor proving how pathetic she had become might have had a more profound impact on her than I might have assessed.

Ooooooh, are we doing letters from home? That would be so interesting. It could also factor into Riya looking nervous in front of the camera-- if the message from her family isn't so supportive of her actions. ...It's a good thing Alec went home before this episode, if true.

The women's alliance is real after all! It wasn't just a myth created and spread by me!!!!

horse

While I absolutely feel for the riggers in this situation... good lord these horse rigs are rough. Their legs just do not move as much/in the right way as they should. I wish the animators retroactive luck in animating this challenge. Also, Riya is the only one who seems to really be struggling with the horses in the preview.

Grett's entering her challenge beast era.

Who the fuck is throwing sticks at Jake? Is it Ally, or is it part of the challenge?

"Final three, let's go~!"

See, told you the women's alliance is real. This is definitely from the same scene we saw earlier of Grett, Riya, and Ally standing around. The real question is just whether or not this will remain as the plan for even this episode anymore.

Power Ranking

#1: Ally

Look, I know I keep putting Ally way above where Venus has her, but... well, it's worked out for me so far, hasn't it? At this point, my vibe check honestly says that Ally is more likely to be a finalist than not (and not just because everyone theoretically has a 60% chance of finalist at this point), even if I can't pinpoint exactly how she's going to get there. I'm sure part of the reason why is because Seasons 1 and 2 treated the Final 4 very differently-- Season 2 had a vote-out with idols fully permitted, while Season 1 had half of their competitors have immunity and choose between the two losers. But, I digress. This is about the Final 5.

The main reason why I think Ally will survive is because she has Grett's favor. I think that Grett will be looking to protect Ally this episode, even if the favor doesn't work the other way. Jake may very obviously want to gun for Ally, but Grett knows that she (and Ally) are the swing votes. Grett will want to take out Riya instead, and if Jake and Connor refuse to comply, she can always eliminate whichever one of them may not have immunity alongside Riya. And, if Grett chooses to work with Riya/the women's alliance in the first place, then Ally is totally fine, too!

The only way I see Ally going home is if Grett decides to abandon her, which I don't think is going to happen. As I see it, Grett currently views Ally as a pawn, and while that may cause Ally to rebel in the future, Grett doesn't seem too concerned by that at the moment.

To be clear, I really hate putting anyone anywhere near the top, because I do think that everyone has a genuinely good reason to be eliminated at this point. It's easy for that to be the case when there are so few competitors left. However, I think Ally has the least reason to go home at this point, so I feel most comfortable with her in the #1 position.

#2: Jake

Not going to lie, pretty much every reason why I don't think Jake is going home this episode is a meta one. If Grett and Ally decided to ride the women's alliance to the end, and if Jake doesn't have immunity, there is a high likelihood he could just die. They voted for him last time. Why not do it again?

That being said, there are a lot of meta reasons why Jake would stay in the game.

Under the assumption that the writers would plan for a mix of Season 1 and Season 2 characters in the finale, and for at least one man to make the finale (as they've already had an all-women Final 3), if Jake goes home, Grett has to be in the finale as the only other Season 1 remaining, and Connor has to be in the finale as the only other man remaining. It's a lot simpler if Jake just makes the finale.

On top of that, Jake's character arc just seems like it's been leaning winner as well. I won't explain all the reasons why, because that would take a long time, and I've been mentioning it in my Power Rankings and initial thoughts for a while now.

While their relationship does have nuance, overall, I think we're supposed to root for Jake and against Ally in their rivalry. Thus, I don't think that they'd want to let Ally actually eliminate Jake. He's a fan favorite, while Ally seems to draw in new haters with each episode.

Jake was already eliminated at Final 5 after being saved by an idol at Final 6 once before. I doubt they'd want him to get eliminated in the exact same way again.

There might be even more, but I'm not thinking of them right now. At any rate, all of those meta elements combined gives Jake enough power to survive being put at a lower placement for this round, at least. Whatever happens in this challenge, I think they'll find some way to save him, whether it's giving Jake immunity, Grett deciding to work with Connor and Jake, the girls deciding to target Connor this time, or whatever else. Still, though. It's scary having him this high.

#3: Connor

Once again, a character conveniently lands in the middle of the ranking because I think they have good reasons to stay or go. Or, at least, I think that's happened before? Possibly even with Connor. Kinda scary that that point is third place, though.

So, why would it make sense for Connor to stay in the competition? Well, like I said with Jake, I think that there'll be at least one man in the finale, so if Connor goes home, it would make it "pretty obvious" that Jake is locked in for the finals. He also still hasn't yet outplaced Riya in this season (or at all), which is something I've been predicting will happen for a while. I also think that Connor would make a very sensible last place finalist, as someone who we can root for but understandably get rid of (because he's already rich) in going from Final 3 to Final 2, opening the stage for a more dramatic showdown between Final 2 rivals. Uh, to be clear, at this point, I'm expecting a Jake/Ally/Connor Final 3 with placements in that order. I didn't really set out to put the three of them in the top 3 positions of this week, but, I guess my internal biases got the best of me?

Screw all that, though-- why would it then make sense for Connor to be the one going home? Well, even though he hasn't been there to see Riya voted out, the end of last episode and this trailer have made it pretty clear that he's already had a moral victory against Riya. Honestly, that might sting for Riya even more-- even though Connor didn't even outplace her, he still seems more content than she is. Why?! Eliminating Connor here could also create a very dramatic do-or-die scenario for Jake at the Final 4. If Jake then wins immunity to secure his spot in the Final 4, it could also lead to some intriguing drama at the Final 4 tribal. I'd love to see Riya going out in that fashion: voting out Connor actually leads to her downfall, as it exposes that her social game wasn't strong enough to save her at the eleventh hour.

Also, if Connor and Alec still need a final conversation at the Loser's Motel, Connor would need to be... well, in the Loser's Motel. To be honest, though, I could actually see the fact that Alec and Connor hugged it out already as being a good sign for the fact that Connor doesn't need to be in the Loser's Motel episode. For that reason and the ones listed above, I think Connor is decently safe... but even decently safe will land you in spot #3.

#4: Grett

After Ally started to sneakily pick up what Grett was discreetly attempting to put down last episode, Grett's life in this game definitely started to flash before my eyes. At this point, it seems to me like Grett is being set up for a pre-finale downfall. However, I think we might still need a little bit more time for Grett's threat level to rise enough for her to truly feel like a final boss archetype.

To quickly explain what I mean by that, modern Survivor (at least) has very frequently edited the show in a way that makes the Final 4 or 5 boot into a final boss that the true winner of the season has to defeat before rightfully claiming their crown in the finale. This is because, a lot of the time, the best strategic players of the season make it really deep into the game, but are such obvious threats to win that the rest of the players scramble to take them out before it's too late. If you've seen Survivor 42, 43, or 44, some names might jump to mind. I don't know if the ONC writers might have been trying to specifically emulate that phenomenon with Grett or if it's just something that could occur naturally, but either way, I think she may receive that treatment.

Part of it is just that I think she's decently likely to win immunity this episode. We've heard that Grett enjoys working out and being athletic in these past few episodes, and she seemed to be kicking ass on that horse. She also has a rich(?) background, so she might have more inherent knowledge of horses than some of the other competitors.

There's more I could specifically say about what I think might happen in these last few episodes involving Grett, but I'll save that for #5. But, if I'm so convinced that Grett will be safe this episode, why put her at #4?

Well, truthfully, I'm not. First of all, I said the final boss can be eliminated at 4th or 5th place, and this is 5th place. Granted, I think 5th place final boss is more warranted for Survivor, with their Final 4 firemaking twist, but it could still be the case here. I could also see Ally convincing everyone else that Grett is too threatening, and everyone working together to vote her out of the game. Even if Jake would hate to work with Ally, I don't know if anyone would be able to pass up such an obvious "as long as it isn't me" opportunity this close to the finale.

While I do still think Grett would be a deserving winner, she's entered into wide enough of a danger zone that I fear she won't make it to the finale. The debate in my eyes is whether it'll be this episode or the next that takes her out. I'm leaning next episode, but I'm unconfident enough in my prediction that Grett goes at #4.

#5: Riya

Alright, back to my direct predictions about what will happen. As long as Riya doesn't win immunity this episode, I think that what will happen is that Grett will decide to turn the tables this time, and plan to vote with Jake and Connor to take out Riya. That way, she can fulfill her personal vendetta against Riya, as well as prevent someone who almost won last season from getting a chance at a re-do.

Given that Grett is locked in with Connor and Jake as Riya votes, there isn't really much of a point to voting for someone else if Ally is in on the plan. But, that doesn't mean that Ally won't be mad about it. The line where Ally seems so happy about going to the Final 3 with Riya and Grett would factor into this. I think Ally might genuinely believe that that's the plan moving forward, before Grett goes "lol no of course we're taking Riya out this time." At that point, Ally will put two and two together, and be confident that Grett tipped Connor and Jake off about the idol play without telling her. Some super close ally she is!

Going into the Final 4, Ally will be sick and tired of Grett bossing her around, not taking her opinions into account when it comes to who to vote out (Jake still isn't out of the game!) and treating her as essentially a second vote. That rage will cause Ally to somehow get Grett out at the Final 4-- possibly in combination with a Jake immunity win or some other situation where Jake is immune from being voted out. Or, maybe Ally would put her hatred of Jake aside in seeing Grett as a bigger threat. Doubtful, though-- she really fucking hates Jake.

Anyways, I feel bad that I haven't actually talked about Riya much in this Riya section. Of course, I don't know if anything that I'm going to say about Riya will make me feel any nicer. I really don't think that Riya is going to be a finalist again. I think that Grett or Ally make more sense as a "villain" finalist for the series, between Grett being a former member of the villains' alliance and Ally being one of the most detestable characters at this point. (Not saying I personally detest her.) If Riya isn't a finalist, it's now or next episode.

And... really, the thing that makes me want to put Riya on the bottom this week the most is wondering what the hell she would be doing still in the Final 4. If she gets there, it's probably either a Connor or Jake boot that gets us there, possibly Grett in the "Ally convinces everyone to vote Grett" scenario. What does that get us?

If Connor is eliminated, Riya is just an awkward third wheel on the Ally/Jake and Ally/Grett scenarios.

If Jake is eliminated, I guess she continues beefing with Connor, but about what? Whatever they have to talk about will probably be talked about in this episode.

If Grett is eliminated, then... I mean, I guess we'll focus in on her and Ally? And she can keep beefing with Connor about whatever. I don't know about you guys, but to me, that feels... kind of fruitless?

The main issue is that, at least in my eyes, Riya has already lost. She's not going to win this season, and everyone in the audience knows it. With Alec's elimination, she lost any sort of power she could have had. She doesn't have Alec to order around, she's officially made a fool of herself in front of Connor, and she doesn't even seem to enjoy the presence of the cameras she's always loved in the trailer. I think Riya may kinda quietly go off into the night this episode, which is the saddest (/pos) method for eliminating her there is. TV's greatest villain, taken out by Grett as an obvious move with very little fanfare. Is this where her relentless ambition and manipulation has gotten her...?

Oh, and she still needs to talk with Alec in the Loser's Motel, probably. Kinda fitting if they're eliminated back-to-back, as well.

As we close out this Power Ranking, let me reiterate that I genuinely could see any of these competitors being eliminated this episode. I wound up having stronger opinions about Ally and Riya than I thought, but I really struggled with where to place everyone at the start. I don't want to get 1 point this week, but I wouldn't be all too surprised if I do. I just have to hope that the power of the horse is on my side.

... wait, Venus was born in the year of the horse! Dammit, I'm totally gonna lose! Unless we have the same person at #5...? As I write this, I haven't read hers yet, so I guess I'll have to wait and see. To the episode!