#i really want to get back to comics so if you'll allow me I would love to try a few pannels with this fic!

[noahl-art]

pspsps just letting you know the next chapter of sundown is gonna have spiceee heheheh but also I'm so very happy you like it and you totally murdered me /pos with that swiss sketch <3

AAAAAAH I'M GONNA GO ABSOLUTELY BONKERS vjsrhgizerh

Also perfect timing because... here is Mounty 🥰✨ (again sorry it's only 5 minutes sketches) She deserves the whole world 🥹

please read the fic!!!!!! On AO3 or here

[wqlfstqr]

◟𖥻 ♡⃕ spider boy, king of thieves:

spiderman ! percy jackson

▰▰▰ pairing(s): percy jackson x female!reader.

Spider-boy, king of thieves Weave your little webs of opacity

author: percy jackson is the textbook definition of a peter parker variant, fight me

y/n loved Percy Jackson, she was sure of it. Had been sure of it for years now. For some time, she had been sure, too, that those feelings were one hundred percent reciprocated.

Percy and her, they had this pull towards each other, or that's what everyone else seemed to believe when they said the two of them were perfect for each other. Sadly, y/n was aware that the fairytale everyone seemed to buy was far from perfect and, as much as she wanted to be with him, something always seemed to get in the way.

This was the thrid time they broke up, and y/n was sure it was going to be the final time. Of course, they always seemed to find their way back to each other but she couldn't allow that to happen another time. As much as she loved him, she simply couldn't.

Because dating Percy was a mess, a hurtful mess. it wasn't always like that. they used to be happy and in love, but then he started disappearing for hours with no communication, arriving late to pick her up or standing her up on dates, and he always gave some kind of made up explanation about it. The last straw was when he arrived two hours late to the winter dance he had promised to take her and then refused to tell her why.

y/n's friends seemed to think there had to be two explanations: he was cheating on her or losing feelings for her. Either way, she didn’t want to find out, so she broke up with him before he had the chance to break her heart again. Now there was absolutely no going back, even if all she wanted to do was call him back and take back everything, that wouldn't even work since he never even answered his phone.

"so this is the last time, huh?" her best friend said skeptically, as if she really didn’t believe her. Fair enough, she had already gone back to him two times already.

"yes, and you'll see I really mean it this time." she reassured her friend as she held her phone in between her ear and her shoulder, her hands busy while she went through her closet. "this trip is just what I need, when I'm back I won't even remember who Percy Jackson is."

That was hardly the truth, but at least she hoped she could begin to get over him while she was away for the holidays. She was going to Boston to visit family there, and maybe some time apart from the city and from Percy would be just what she needed.

"y/n, you know I love you" her friend started and she was taking the clothes she needed for the trip but she paused when she heard her tone. "but I find that hard to believe."

y/n was about to reply in her defense, when her gaze landed on a blue sweater in her closet. Percy's sweater. She didn’t even know how long it had been there, but she knew exactly what to do.

"i'm being serious, I'll even go and give him his things back before I go to Boston." she decided, dropping her own clothes in her suitcase before taking the sweater from her closet.

that was something she had never done in the past two breakups, and she did have a lot of his stuff just hanging around in her room. Some of his clothes, his camera from the last time he came around, some of his books, drawings, comics, even the christmas gift she had already bought and wrapped for him weeks ago.

She hadn't realized how much of his stuff she had until she hung up on her friend and she already had a box full of his things. It was difficult not to cry while going through it all, everything held a memory behind it and every memory having anything to do with Percy was painful enough to bring tears to her eyes.

Still, she managed to keep her feelings in check as she took the box and walked out of her apartment, thankfully her parents seemed to be too busy packing to have any questions as she slipped out of the front door. Then, walking to Percy's was easy enough since he didn’t live too far from her, so twenty minutes later she stood upside of his apartment with the box in one hand as she knocked with the other one.

It wasn't Percy that came to open, and she should've been grateful that it was Sally instead, but her smile almost dropped because maybe she had wanted to see him. Still, Sally was too sweet not to smile at her as she opened the door. "y/n! what are you doing out in this cold? and without sweater!"

something she could admit was that she was going to miss was Sally, Percy's mom was just the sweetest and always cared for y/n like she was family. And now the tears were threatening to spill again.

"I wasn't planning on spending too much time out of my house." she started, biting the inside of her cheek because she couldn't, for the love of God, cry in front of Sally. "I was just dropping Percy's stuff off."

Sally looked at the box in her hands and finally seemed to register what was happening, her smile fading slowly as she now looked at the teenager with pity. y/n knew she was probably aware of the break up, Percy always told Sally everything, but it was hard having to stand there and act all tough when the woman was looking at her with such sadness.

still, Sally was nothing if not positive, so after a second she smiled again. "he's not here right now, but you can come in and wait for him if you want." she opened the door further, as if welcoming her in.

and y/n knew she shouldn't, she should just leave the box with Sally and forget all about Percy, but she simply couldn't say no to Sally. And, well, she hadn't seen Percy since last week, it would hurt to see him one last time. Maybe make sure he was doing alright.

"okay" she nodded and stepped into the apartment, following behind Sally as she beamed at her.

Of course, Sally gave her some hot cocoa and blue chocolate chip cookies while she waited, and she made sure to avoid the breakup topic when they both sat down to talk. y/n loved Sally, she was always full of stories and advice and a kind of motherly love y/n herself wasn't used to receiving from her own mother.

But after an hour, Percy hadn't came back and Sally didn’t have a clue where he was, so she sent y/n to wait for him in his room while she went to run some errands. Which y/n should've refused to do but yet again didn’t.

"And y/n?" Sally called as she opened the door, the younger girl was still amazed at how much the woman trusted her just to leave her there. "I can't say I know what exactly happened between you and Percy, but I can tell you he cares about you."

Yeah, that's what y/n had wanted to believe for years, what everyone always told her. But now she wasn't so sure about it, still, she smiled at Sally and let her go before she went into Percy's room, which was exactly how she remembered from the last time she had been there.

She tried not to look around too much, knowing she would feel too nostalgic about it all, instead she busied herself with playing some game on her phone while she waited. Unfortunately, thirty minutes later Percy hadn't arrived and she was already too tired of waiting for him. That's all she ever did. So she stood up from his bed, leaving the box there and shortly after making her way to the door while the dissapointment settled in her stomach.

but then just as she was about to turn the knob, she heard some ruffling behind her back and then the noise of Percy's window opening. She immediatly turned around, her heart racing as she expected to find some thief entering through the window, yet she had to stop herself from screaming when she didn’t find thief but, far from it, Spider-man.

what was Spider-man doing in Percy's room? As he entered the room, y/n put her hands over her mouth to stiffle a stragled sound. Spider-man didn’t seem to realize she was there as he started crawling through the roof.

y/n was gaping at the superhero, unsure of what to do as her mind raced through countless scenarios. Yet, nothing could have prepared her for what happened next. She let out a squeak she couldn’t contain when Spider-Man started to remove his mask, catching his attention

wait wait wait y/n froze when she realized- first she recognized the hair. his hair. the one she had ran her fingers through countless of times. When he finally turned around, she already knew who he was.

Percy looked as shocked as she was once his eyes finally found her, her pale face and her back against the door she had been trying to open just seconds before. "this is not what you think it is." he blurted out, still hanging from the roof.

She had trouble finding her voice again. "so you're not Spider-man, you just go around crawling on people's ceilings dressed as him?" she asked, surprised at the slight sarcasm in her shocked voice.

He let go of the roof, y/n was about to point out that his amazing landing didn’t exactly help his case at all, but he looked at her with panic in his eyes so she shut her mouth. "well maybe it is what it looks like."

She lost her breath, and she knew she had to sit down soon, so she simply walked past him and took a seat in his bed, exactly where she had been minutes before. Percy's eyes shifted at the box placed beside her, and he looked like he was about to question it before he shook his head and pushed it away so he could sit.

"So you're Spider-man." she managed to say after a few seconds of silence that felt like hours.

"I guess I am." he replied, shrugging like it wasn't a big deal at all, for a moment y/n wanted to throw something at him but now that she knew he was Spider-man, it was likely he was going to catch it before it even came close to hitting him.

That thought opened the door for many others as realization dawned on her: Every time he caught something without even looking, every time he was late to dates or disappeared for hours only to reappear suddenly—she realized it all added up. The missed calls, unanswered messages, and the times he stood her up, and-

"Oh my god, is this why you were late for the winter dance?" he seemed to hesitate before he nodded slowly, she averted her eyes to look at anything but him, she couldn't look at him right now. "so you let me break up with you instead of just telling me the truth?"

"it's not-" he stopped himself, taking a deep breath before he could go on. "it's not like that, I just wanted to keep you safe."

She didn’t know if she was annoyed or sad, but she sure as hell wanted to cry. "Percy you've been lying to me, that's not fair."

Percy rubbed the back of his neck, looking directly at her even though she wasn't looking at him. "I know it’s not fair. I know I messed up. But I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. I thought you’d be safer if you didn’t know, if I kept you away from me."

"Safer?" she scoffed, finally meeting his gaze with her eyes filled with tears. "Percy, you don't get to decide that for me. Do you know how much it hurt to think you didn’t care? I thought I wasn't enough for you for so long."

Seeing the tears in her eyes made Percy want to reach and hug her, but he knew her too much to know that she would probably pull away. "I care about you, that's why I did it." he felt like he was drowning as he tried to explain himself. "you mean everything to me, I wouldn't want to risk putting you in danger."

Her lips trembled as the anger melted into exhaustion. She wanted so badly to just let it go and fall back again into his arms, but the wound in her chest still ached. "You should’ve told me. I would've understood you."

He hesitated, his shoulders sagging as he admitted, "I was scared, okay? Scared the people after me would use you to get to me. Do you think I wanted you to feel like this? To lose you to this?"

The room fell silent again, but after a moment she looked away and stood up from the bed, she couldn't bear another minute there "I don’t know if I can forgive you," she whispered, her voice barely audible. "Not right now."

And with that, Percy let her go. He had so many things to say, but he knew it wasn't the right time, it was better to just give her some time to think. But he also knew that she wouldn't let her walk away again, not this time. Not ever again.

y/n's parents were very mad at her but she couldn't bring herself to care just yet. The boston trip would've been an excellent idea after all the mess with Percy, but instead she had decided to skip it altogether and stay home for christmas.

Fortunately, New York was big enough so that she could avoid running into Percy. Unfortunately, it was difficult not to think about him when everything reminded her of him.

y/n loved to spend her afternoons walking through the bustling streets of New York. Right in that moment, she was trying to distract herself, but everything reminded her of him: the street vendor they always stopped by for pretzels, the bookstore where he had listened to her talk about every book she had read, the park where they had shared their first kiss just under a snowy day like this. Every way she looked to, there was a memory of him hidden.

She was so lost in thought that she didn’t even notice him hidden, following her every step until suddenly strong arms wrapped tight around her waist, and before she could even gasp, she’s was already soaring into the sky. Wind rushed past her as she looks at the the familiar red-and-black suit. "Percy!" she yells, half-angry, half-dizzy from the height.

He chuckles, the sound muffled through the mask. "Hey. Missed me?" she wanted to keep screaming at him, but she looked down and realized just how high they were so she gasped intead, holding tighly onto him.

He swung them higher, the city blurring beneath them until they landed on the rooftop of some random building. She stumbled a little, trying to catch her breath, but Percy steadied her.

"What the hell, Percy? you can't just do that and-" the words died in her mouth once she looked at what was waiting just in front of her.

"Surprise." he said softly, motioning to the cozy picnic blanket and basket waiting for them. The setting sun was casting a golden glow over the skyline, the view breathtaking.

He pulled his mask off as he turns to face her, his sea green eyes full of guilt. "I know it won't solve everything, but I just need you to listen to me, and after that if you hate it, you can push me off this roof."

That made her smile just a little, unintentionally showing the lingering affection she had been trying to bury. "as if that would work, you would probably land on your feet."

He laughed, and she realized just how much she was missed that laugh.

However, before she could even try to commit it to memory, he turned serious again as he took a step closer to her. "I'm really sorry for not telling you the truth sooner, I should have never let you believe that I didn’t care about you. I can't take what I did back, but from now on I swear to you that I'll never keep anything else from you again. Just let me show you how much you mean to me. One day at a time"

She tilted her head to the side, giving him a soft smile. "You’re really not going to give up, are you?"

"Not a chance," Percy replied almost immediatly, as if he didn’t even need to think about it. "You mean too much to me."

She looked at him for a long moment of silence, but she didn’t say anything, she simply stood there in silence before she finally sighed and went to sit on the blanket he had set up, he seemed confused but immediatly followed her to sit beside her. He didn’t push her, didn’t try to force a resolution. He just sat there, letting her process, letting her feel.

"Does this mean I don’t get pushed off the roof?"

"Don’t push your luck, Jackson," she replied, rolling her eyes even though there was a smile tugging at her lips.

They both sat right there in silence until she finally speaked again, looking up at the sky before going back to find his eyes, that were already on her. "one day at a time." she granted finally, and before he could even begin to smile, she continued. "but no more secrets."

Percy’s lips twitched into a small smile, and he nodded. "no more secrets."

She smiled at him, and he smiled at her. And they both knew that maybe not everything was okay just yet, but they would work it out. They were both in silence, except this time it was peaceful knowing that there was no secret between them.

However, as much as Percy was happy, he was also Percy so he couldn't hold the silence for much longer. "have you ever wanted to see New York the way I do?" he asked.

She hesitated, narrowing her eyes at him. "What does that mean?"

He stood up, offering her a hand as his eyes had a certain playful shine on them. "trust me, just let me show you."

And because y/n would follow that boy just about anywhere without any doubt, she took his hand after a second and let herself be pulled by him. It all happened so fast, one moment she's was standing up and the next he had her arms wrapped around her waist, stepping backwards off the ledge of the rooftop.

"Percy!" she shrieked, clinging to him instinctively as they both hung upside down.

"Relax, I’ve got you," he told her, chuckling softly. He started to walk slowly along the side of the building, his movements careful. She clutched onto him tightly, her heart racing from the adrenaline... and maybe from being so close to him again. "I always do."

When they reached a quiet spot where they could see the skyline, he stopped, holding her steady. "Look" he said softly, holding her with one arm as he uses the other to point to the city.

She followed his gaze, her breath hitching at how breathtaking the city lights looked shining beneath them. "it's beautiful, Percy" she mumbled.

"You’re beautiful" he didn’t meant to say it out loud, but he did and maybe he didn’t regret it, because when she looked at him, just a moment, the weight of their recent struggles melted away.

She rolled her eyes, but a small laugh escaped her. And it was the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. "That’s the corniest thing you’ve ever said."

"hey! I’m trying here" he replied, grinning. "besides, you deserve all the cheesy lines in the world."

y/n shook her head, but she couldn't hide her smile. And maybe, she thought, it isn't perfect at all but it's right. He's right for her. They are right for eachother.

They stayed there, just looking at the city underneath them as the night stretched on until it's was time for her to go back home. With the city humming below, Percy swung her back to her apartment.

The night air felt cold against her face, but thankfully her apartment wasn't far away. in no time, Percy was settling her down on the fire scape by her window.

"home sweet home." she couldn't see his face since he had put on the mask, but she knew he was grinning.

"thank you for dropping me home, quite literally." she smiled at him as she opened her window, but she didn’t step inside just yet because she wanted to be there with him for a longer moment. "and for everything else."

"anytime." once again, y/n wished she could see behind the mask because she could swear he was smiling, and she loved seeing that smile. Percy seemed like he was also buying time before he had to go. "hey, we're ok?"

"we will be" she nodded, and that seemed to be a good enough answer for Percy, who nodded back and took a deep breath.

Not knowing what else to say, she finally stepped into her room. Percy he took a deep breath as he saw her, then legs hooked over the ledge and he hung upside down, his head poking through her winsow.

"good night, y/n" he mumbled softly, ready to swing away. but just as he was turning to leave, she finally spoke.

"wait, Percy" she called for him, making him stop and turn his face back to her almost immediately, he looked alarmed, like he was bracing himself for something terrible to happen.

He was about to ask what was wrong, but y/n didn’t even stop to think before she pulled his mask down, uncovering his lips. Percy, perched outside her window, let out a surprised gasp just as she leaned in and claimed his lips with hers.

Percy's breath caught in his throat as he froze, surprised. But when he finally did react, he steadied himself, and leaned into the kiss, his heart pounding so hard he was afraid it might jump out of his chest at any moment.

The kiss started tentative, a mix of hesitation and longing. But as they melted into each other, the city around them faded away. For the first time in weeks, she felt whole again.

When they finally pulled apart, she could finally see the smile on his face. "and there it is folks, Spider-Man always gets the girl."

She rolled her eyes, swatting his chest lightly, but she couldn't possibly fight the smile tugging at her lips. "You’re impossible."

"And you love it." he replied, his grin widening.

y/n chuckled, looking down at him, her heart full. "I’ll see you soon, Percy," she said, her voice playful yet fond.

"make that tomorrow." He winked at her, then swung away into the night, leaving her standing by the window, knowing that they would be alright.

[mashiraostail]

can u write some soft cuddling hc for the main party?

aw (does have some minor spoilers for the game!)

Shadowheart: Doesn't really mind the position you're in but will certainly like to be able to hold hands, even just laying side by side, shoulder to shoulder, hand in hand. She'd also like to see your face, and be able to kiss you. She not a quiet cuddler either, she likes to chat about nothing in particular, how dinner was, the strange hairstyle you'd seen someone in the city sporting, asking questions about your life pre tadpole and so on. Just gets softer post nightsong if she goes against Shar. I think she'll really enjoy having something in someone for once, she's spent her whole life not really knowing or having much of anything so she'll really revel in you. She'll want to touch your face, hold your hands, smell you and just be as close as possible.

Astarion: He's snarky and all but once he's warmed up I think he'll really enjoy a bit of a snuggle. He's not picky at all either, he'll enjoy tucking you into his chest, resting his chin on your hair, and listening to you breathe. He'll also enjoy laying his head on your chest, feeling you arms come around him and hearing your heart beat under his ear. Enjoys chaste little kisses, peppered along his hairline or neck or wherever you can reach with no intention of anything more. He's not as talkative as Shadowheart, in fact he probably won't say much at all unless you do. It's not that he doesn't want to talk he just...is enjoy you, your beating heart, the feeling of your hands on his back, the warmth of you. He'll forget to say anything, and that's fine because his presence will just lull you to sleep. If you do get to chatting he won't mind, in fact you'll probably find he'll deveulge some incredibly tender information at times like these. He's loved cats, always, he isn't sure why, he learned to sew to maintain his clothes from his life, just something to hold onto. Try not to be too snarky with him in these moments, he'll most certainly recoil at it.

Wyll: Dutiful big spoon, he likes to rub your back, or your tummy. Besides Halsin I think Wyll is the most obsessed with your smell, he'll definitely bury his face in your neck and take some comically big whiffs of you. Also most likely to tickle you. He compliments you a lot too, your skin is soft, your hair smells nice, you are just generally lovely, and thank you for allowing me to be so close to you. He loves to listen to you talk too, cuddling is a great time to yap to him about anything. Literally anything. Short bows vs longbows, which one do you like better, why? Recount some fond memories, talk about your favorite food, he's just happy to listen. He likes when you lay against his chest the best though, he loves squeezing you and getting to cast the occasional glance down at you. Chronic forehead kisser too, he'll be leaning in to kiss you mid sentence, he's just delighted to be allowed it.

Halsin: He's soooooooo big spoon shaped and he loves curling around you and tucking you away. He's so warm too so he's the best napping partner. He loves a chest/stomach rub though so you have to indulge him as it would be unkind not to. But don't linger tooo much because Halsin and Karlach are probably most likely to turn cuddling into something a bit....more. He also enjoys being 'little' spoon, having a backpack is funny to him and he'll hold onto your arms wrapped around him to keep you in place. He enjoys it as quiet time, just getting to enjoy the company of someone he loves when there is little time to be afforded to such pleasures. And a pleasure it is, simple and easy and kind there is little in the wold Halsin prefers than spending that time with you. He does enjoy a few quiet, affectionate words shared between you though. Nothing grand or poetic but some soft appreciation for your closeness, the feeling of skin on skin, or a quiet confession of love isn't uncommon.

Karlach: Bear hugger. Major bear hugger. Once she can finally touch you she does not ever want to take her hands off you. She'll wrap her arms and legs around you, kiss you everywhere, and beg you to stay the night with her in her tent. Cuddling becomes a sacred ritual to her, you always end your day in each other's arms talking about anything and everything. In these quiet moments Karlach wonders if her heart really was stolen, because she's never felt more full of love than she does now. She loves to crack jokes and tickle you, hearing your laugh, feeling you turn into her neck or chest, it all puts her on cloud nine. She'll run her fingers through your hair, and possibly start a thumb war.

Gale: Oh boy does he just love to end a day with you. He loves to have you sitting between his legs, your back against his chest while he talks about the whole day as if you weren't there for it all. He may spend the time reading or writing too but he'll always ask you to talk for a bit. Gale loves talking, especially with you and if you entertain him he'll talk until the sun rises. He loves to rest his head in your lap while he talks with you, the feeling of your hands in his hair, your fingers against his scalp, your palm resting on his stomach. Gale struggles to think of anything better after a long day on the road. I think secretly Gale likes this sort of human connection, the skin to skin, studying your eye color and all the shades of your skin. Connecting via the weave isn't unpleasant by any means but something about this sort of connection is new to him. Maybe being with Mystra made him cast it out of his mind, or maybe it had never been any good with any one else... he isn't sure. He is sure that he loves it now, he wants to rest his forehead against yours, he wants to feel your hands in his shirt, against his stomach, he wants to feel the huff of your laughter against his lips and most of all he just wants you however you'll have him.

Lae'zel: She's almost adverse to it at first. Ease into things, sit shoulder to shoulder, rest your head on her arm, let your thighs touch when you sit beside each other. It comes like most of your relationship, with trust and with time. Eventually she'll look forward to you after the day's up. Mostly she just likes to have her arm around you, she likes to slick your hair back off your forehead and pull your head even closer into her. She'll make a mean little quip about Gale or Astarion and you'll laugh and Gods help her it actually lights something up in her chest and all she can think to do is pick her hand up off your shoulder and pull you into her. The first time it happens it actually makes her stomach hurt. She's never been one for the mundane, for a routine, but there she was, chatting with you about nothing while you traced out shapes on the back of her hand. In these moments she could almost see it for herself, whiling away the days with you.

[hetalian-veteran]

The Draw of the Hetalia Fandom (and Why You Can Never Leave)

From the perspective of a fan of (technically) twelve years or so.

Something occurred to me a while back, and I wanted to share it to get other people's thoughts. I'll try to add funny pictures and gifs to break up the wall of text so it won't be as exhausting to read.

I made a post the other day about how the Hetalia fandom always draws you back in. This was, of course, based on the joke about how you can never really leave the Hetalia fandom. A joke you can find virtually everywhere you look in fan spaces online.

But this begs the question. Why? Why can't you ever truly leave the Hetalia fandom? What is it about this fandom that consistently draws you back in?

And note that people don't talk about Hetalia itself, but rather its fandom. You could stop watching the show or reading the comics for years, but the fandom is what won't fully leave you be.

(The Hetalia fandom every time you check to see if it's dead yet).

One answer I've heard has to do with the phenomenon known as Associative Memory, where you can learn and remember the relationship between unrelated items.

For example, you watch Hetalia, a series about the countries of the world personified as anime characters. These characters have their own personalities, traits, quirks, etc. And the more you watch the show and get into the fandom, the more you start to associate these things with one another.

For instance, someone can say the word Italy, and I'll start thinking about Feliciano Vargas. Or someone could say the name Matthew Williams, and I automatically associate that with Canada. Or I could see bushy eyebrows and immediately start thinking of APH England. Heck, someone starts talking about Vikings and my thoughts almost always go to the Viking Trio of Denmark, Norway, and Sweden. I could go on, but you get the idea.

And there's also the fact that we live in a world full of the countries that the show has personified characters of, which would in turn likely remind you of Hetalia.

But there's something more here going on. I've thought about it for a long while, and I think I've realized one of the biggest reasons why you can't fully leave the fandom.

It's because of how versatile the characters of the series can be in fan content. Allow me to explain.

(Me preparing to explain to everyone the epiphany that came to me one dark, stormy night).

Hetalia is a series with literally no plot. Like, zero. Some episodes may impact each other, but the overall series is episodic in nature. The only episodes you'd have to watch in order would be the ones going over the miniature love story between Chibitalia and HRE. And then there's the sequence of episodes going over the Industrial Revolution in season seven, and then the sequence of episodes explaining the relationship between Czechia and Slovakia. But that's it. And the Industrial Revolution and Czechia and Slovakia episodes aired in the latter seasons, long after the fandom was already very big and well established.

The episodes are largely adaptations from the original webcomic and thus are all a bunch of skits haphazardly thrown together. So I'll reiterate what I said earlier; there is no real, canonical plot to Hetalia. There are canon events and facts about canon characters, but seeing as the show is largely skits, they aren't tied down to any real narrative.

(The Hetalia fandom whenever they're given a piece of canon they don't like).

This leaves a lot of room for headcanons. Which leads to fans sharing their headcanons online. And when headcanons get super popular, they become fanon. And when a piece of fanon gets super popular, where it finds itself getting mingled with fanart, fanfiction, and even fan theories, you'll have people who start to confuse it with actual canon. There's really a lot to be said for the wild fanon of Hetalia, but I'll get to that another day. I need to turn the focus back onto the characters themselves.

I'm just gonna put it out there. The Hetalia characters are largely one-note. This isn't to say there isn't some depth to a few of the characters, but these characters are largely the epitome of "what you see is what you get." Especially in the early days of the series. The characters all have a set of straightforward, basic character traits, with their interpersonal relationships often being displayed in a very simplistic manner.

For example, Italy is a pasta-loving coward who's a massive flirt. Germany is strict and authoritative with a no-nonsense attitude. Japan is quiet and soft-spoken, only speaking up when he feels the need. America is a bombastic dork with a hero complex. England is an arrogant stick in the mud. France is a hopeless romantic who flirts with anything that has a pulse.

(Me taking a moment to pause and push away the cringy middle school memories of me shamelessly fangirling in class).

And as I said, their relationships are typically portrayed as simplistic as well. Italy annoys Germany, but Germany doesn't want to get rid of him because he's one of his only friends. England and France hate each other. America is that hyper-extroverted friend trying to get his introverted friend, Japan, out of his shell. Switzerland and Lichtenstein have a sweet sibling dynamic. And Prussia and Austria are portrayed as old friends who like to antagonize one another.

Because of the way the characters and their interpersonal relationships are written, this also lends them open to a lot of headcanons and eventual fanon. Not to mention that most of the characters have canon, human names. So if you want to use these characters in a fanfiction, particularly one where you don't want to depict them as countries (which is most fanfics), you have names at the ready that you can use.

And because of the simple way the characters are written, you can potentially write or portray these characters however you want in fanwork without too many people complaining that someone "isn't in character." There is so much room for your own interpretations of the characters. As long as you keep some of their basic personality traits from the series intact, you can portray the characters however you want. Especially because there's no real canonical storyline to drag them down. Because of the lack of canon storyline, you don't have to worry about fanworks being canon-compliant, canon-divergent, or canon-adjacent.

(Fanfic writers when they realize canon cannot stop them from creating whatever they want).

Do you want to portray Romano as the notorious mafia boss, Lovino Vargas, in the 1930s? Go ahead. As long as you can keep some of his cowardly and stubborn nature intact, you can do what you want with little trouble.

Do you want to portray England as the infamous pirate, Arthur Kirkland, in the 17th century? As long as you maintain his disdain for France, have at it!

Do you want to write a college AU with all of the characters present? As long as you keep in mind their personalities and have a basic understanding of their interpersonal relationships, have fun!

Now you're probably sitting there thinking, "Big deal, people can create all kinds of fanwork, regardless of what its content is, or what property it's for. What makes the Hetalia fandom so special?"

It's special because, since Hetalia is a series with almost zero canonical storylines, and the characters are portrayed in such a simplistic way, both of which lend their way to boatloads of headcanons and fanon, as well as small scraps of canon information that we can choose to either ignore or elaborate like crazy on...

Hetalia is a freaking goldmine for creating all kinds of fan content.

(Hetalians when creating the 2p! variations of the characters, probably).

So much fan content is out there. From creepypastas, to Hetaoni, Dreamtalia, the 2p! characters, historically accurate AU's, school AU's, and so, so much more. All because the canon is just loose enough to allow all kinds of fan content to be created and not seem too far off from the series or characters.

And that fan content ends up being way, way more fun than the actual series itself! Don't get me wrong, I still love the show, but I'd be lying if I said I didn't (or currently don't) have a freaking blast every time I engage with fan content. The creativity is insane, and the fanon is even more fun and entertaining.

The reason you cannot fully leave the Hetalia fandom isn't just because of Associative Memory, but because of the immense amount of fan content and fanon where, because of the nature of the series, you can do, write, draw, and create whatever you want. You can project onto these characters and their stories and interpret them to your own personal tastes. And you know what? That's a heck of a lot of fun.

And there you go, that's my two cents.

[felassan]

David Gaider on Shale, under a cut for length:

"Oops! I realized I'd moved on from DAO but missed one of the companions I'd written. Which checks out, honestly, because I almost didn't write Shale and, even after I'd written her, she almost didn't happen anyhow. Then she did. Prepare yourself for... PIGEON QUEST. 🦤 So... I'm wracking my brain, but I don't recall how Shale began. I have this vague memory of us wanting a "weird" party member who didn't conform to the normal classes (this was back when Dog didn't need to be in the party), and I think my mind drifted to an old indie comic character named Concrete."

"Now, your reaction to that is probably "who?" That's OK. When I explain that HK-47 in KotOR was inspired by an old Canadian TV show called the Littlest Hobo I get the same perplexed response. 😅 In short: Concrete was just a regular dude. Who happened to also be a walking hulk of rock. Cue hi-jinx. The problem here is I don't remember whether the Concrete thing was part of the original inspiration or something I thought of at the point when I started writing the character. Because I didn't, at first. That was later. Shale was initially taken on by Jay Turner, then one of our junior writers. Jay had an idea to make Shale more of a robot, an emotionless automoton killer... think HK-47, but without the layer of sarcasm. I was leery, and told Jay he'd have to be very careful. "Emotionless" can very quickly turn into "boring", after all, unless you're VERY careful. But Jay was determined. Sigh. This was a fail on my part, as his lead. There's been a couple of times in my career when I've let a junior convince me with their enthusiasm to take on something my experience said they shouldn't. And then watch their confidence crumble despite every effort I made to reassure them it was OK. This was one of those times. Jay, no idea if you'll read this but: I'm sorry. Even an experienced writer would have found that a daunting challenge. Tonia, my other Big Fail on a similar situation in DAI: I'm sorry. Both times, I should have known. You did your best, but I set you up to fail. 😔"

"Jay did his best, and this version of Shale was certainly interesting... but, when he was done, it was one of those peer reviews where every writer had that look of "I'm REALLY sorry to say this..." It felt flat. Jay tried numerous revisions, but the issue wasn't his ability - it was the concept. I only allowed my writers a certain number of tries before I take it away. This hearkens back to an earlier time at Bio when writers would hack away at something that wasn't working 6, 7, 8 times or more until finally their soul was dust. Mike Laidlaw can attest. Revision isn't always the answer. So I moved (a much relieved, I think) Jay onto something else, and the question arose: what do we do with Shale? Do we cut it? It was already very late. Then Shale dropped in my lap. I don't remember if it was me refusing to let it go or maybe Brent (Knowles, Creative Director) giving it to me. I suspect it was the latter, because I recall being a bit bitter about the whole thing. WHAT am I going to do with this character? At the time, they'd moved me out of the writers pit to instead be in a big office with the other leads. I had this corner desk by a window (yay) with an awful view (ugh) What was so awful about it? It looked out onto the neighbouring roof, where there was only an HVAC unit to see. In the winter, pigeons would gather around it. They pooped all over everything - there was this alcove around the access door, right? The pigeons roosted there and it was POOP FAUCET city."

"Not only that, the pigeons used the HVAC like some kind of sex den. Angry, ugly pigeon sex. The only respite was when a hawk would appear and the pigeons scattered. Then I'd get maybe a day when there was a single pigeon corpse, like an exploded ball of down, to act as a scarecrow. Good days, those. What does any of this have to do with Shale? Well, there's me, staring out the window trying desperately to think what I'm going to do. But I CAN'T stare out the window because, gross. But what else am I going to stare at while I think? It was making me furious. I hated those pigeons SO SO MUCH. And then it hit me: Shale is basically an animated statue, right? Something that pigeons are rather notorious for also gathering on? And so I wrote. I wrote like the angry, angry wind. I had zero time to do this so it was basically me vomiting all my annoyance at everything into a single character. Not that it helped much. There was a battle going on over Shale - first, as I recall, it was the art team. They were going to make every doorway in the game EXTRA HUGE because they were worried that Shale was too large and might clip. So, yes, let's alter the whole world to fix that. Good idea. 🙃 Eventually, they compromised by making Shale smaller. Sten-sized. Or Brent went Akira mode, but I don't really know. This was a battle happening above my level. Yet Shale got cut anyhow. There wasn't time to do her abilities and we were short on cinematics time. There was never enough time on DAO."

""Oh well," I thought. "That's that." I did what I could, but cut content is almost never resurrected. The idea was floated of making Shale into a DLC but I scoffed. Yeah, right! But... it happened. That's why the "almost" is there. Enough of the team liked Shale they made it happen this one time. This meant I could finish up the writing once we'd more or less wrapped DAO, and the rest of the team (cinematics, in particular, who were pressed the hardest for time) could move onto the Shale DLC once they were ready. It was supposed to come out well after release, but you know. Shenanigans. This particular shenanigan was EA deciding to sit on the finished DAO a few months in order to delay the release. Why? Again, not my level. To get closer to Christmas, maybe, or maybe for sim ship. It did mean Shale ended up being ready for release day. Unexpected confluence of events, honestly. Cue some fans getting upset that "cut content" was sold to them separately, which... fair, I guess? The alternative would have been that Shale was simply cut, period, and it just worked out this way but... yes, fair. This was back when DLC was the main beef of hardcore gamers. Oh, the good old days. Overall? I have a soft spot for Shale. She has no soft spot for anyone, being... you know... made of rock. It's why I put her in Asunder, and why she was also going to be in the - apparently now notorious for its Fenris murder - cancelled fourth DA novel. Also, if you're a pigeon fan: not sorry. 😇"

[source thread]

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hey! before I begin, I wanted to say how much I love your comics!! the style and palettes are really soothing, and it's always nice to read them, relate heavily, and not feel quite such an oddball!! so thanks :]

I (very recently) received the results of my diagnosis for autism and adhd (I got both, and a couple other smaller things) and was wondering what things you did differently immediately after diagnosis that helped you? I've tried things like proper organisation and cleaning, keeping on top of deadlines for college as much as I am able, and trying to study as much as I can (a levels are very stressful even though I've only just started the course, and while these solutions are what's considered "good" by the college, its not really helping me as much as I would like)

a large part of the diagnosis was dedicated to brain function (I had the privelidge of being assessed privately, so the evidence was very detailed and thorough), and I scored stupidly high on vocabulary and language study. However, I feel like there's somewhat of a disconnect between the effort I've put in on my foreign language studies and the progress I'm seeing- I'm trying so so hard to understand grammatical concepts and absorb a lot of vocabulary in preparation for some smaller tests in the near future, but I'm not seeing the reward during lessons or even with preparation. I am fully aware that with all the work and effort I'm spending, I am closer than I would like to be to a meltdown and probably burnout, which I desperately want to avoid. It just feels that although my brain is wired for linguistic study, I feel like I'm falling behind or failing

I guess if you have any advice or anything that helped you once your diagnosis was confirmed, or tips for study, I would be greatly appreciative :]

Tldr: struggling with study and fearful of failure, any advice?

hnng I remember the stress of A levels, you couldn't pay me to go through that again 🫠

After being diagnosed I started to allow myself to unmask and stim in more obvious ways. Previously my stims had generally been pretty small, like flicking my fingers or wiggling a bit, but now I allow myself to flap and rock and play with fidget toys as well and it genuinely does help release tension.

It sounds like your're working really hard - if you feel close to burnout and/or meltdowns, you might be working too hard. I also found it really hard to take breaks when I was studying (...still do) but the truth is, by not allowing your mind to rest, you're actually making it harder for yourself to learn and retain information.

So my advice is, take a break! A real break, not 'I'm gonna scroll on my phone for a bit' or 'I went to the toilet that counts as a break right'. Get up, step away from your work for at least an hour, and do something you find relaxing and fun. Go for a walk or just sit outside. Make yourself a drink. Take a nap if you need to. Try to avoid looking at screens during your break if you can. And when you go back to studying, schedule times to have regular short breaks as well (eg a 10 minute break every hour). I set alarms for mine because otherwise I forget to move for five hours.

A break allows your brain to process the information and let it settle properly. When you go back to work you'll hopefully feel more refreshed and able to take in information again. Remember, if you've just started the course, then this is a marathon, not a sprint, so please try not to overdo it and burn yourself out right at the start. Conserve your energy for the long haul.

If you're still struggling, are you able to ask for help, maybe from a friend or a teacher? A teacher could give you some techniques on how to improve in the specific areas you find difficult, and sometimes just talking through the bit you're having trouble with or not understanding can help a lot.

Good luck with your studies and I hope you take some time to rest as well :)

[lightofraye]

Hi there!

Per request, I cropped your name.

I also sent you an apology privately for how long it'd taken me to get to this. Largely because it's just a depressing thing to talk about. Danneel is doing classic abuser techniques here--putting him down; humiliating him in front of others (when at cons like Wales Comic Con) or having him repeating negative stories at cons himself; continuously finding fault with him; making him feel like the foolish one; disregarding his thoughts and/or emotions; and using sarcasm to cause harm.

Imagine having your own spouse, your partner of what... 17 years?... saying "You'll do" when they're stanning other, wealthier actors and stars. Like, wow. Consolation prize? Thanks? As though she didn't force his hand into proposing to him. Mind, Jensen even said she laid down an ultimatum--propose or she walked. That's love, for sure!

Imagine landing no less than three shows with Amazon and a regular guest starring appearance on a major broadcaster... and still being told "Not impressed". God. That's painful.

He may likely be so busy that despite what some AAs are saying ("It's only 1.5 hour flight to home!"), he might not even fly back home all that much. Why would he? For his kids? Absolutely. For his so-called loving wife? Not so much.

Have you noticed in that clip, Jared had to stop Jensen from rambling? Because he was listening to his friend and brother in all but blood put himself down repeatedly, hearing how his friend's wife is being emotionally abusive... in public, no less. I can't even imagine how Jared feels about this.

Mind, Jared knew Danneel before Jensen did (or so Danneel claimed). Ever notice how they barely ever hang out in the past? If all four of them--Jared, Gen, Jensen and Danneel--did hang out, Jared was rarely spotted with her. He knew what kind of person she was and wanted nothing to do with her.

Even Gen barely engaged with Danneel. Oh, Gen was friendly and warm in public--I'm reminded of that one live video where Gen praised Danneel's acting as Sister Jo/Anael on Sueprnatural and the look Danneel gave her... Danneel knew Gen didn't mean it.

Getting sidetracked here.

I know a lot of anti Jensens won't agree with me here, and that's all fine. We're allowed different opinions. Even those who are "Jensen critical" would disagree as well. Also fine. What I'm about to say next is my own personal opinion, speculation, and observation.

As I've mentioned before, I'm a survivor of abuse. From childhood onward, I've endured a variety. Emotional neglect, physical abuse, even sexual abuse as a child. That wrecks people. Because we're experiencing abuse from the hands of people who should love us. So if our own parents, siblings, relatives, whatever, are hurting us... we start to think: "Did I do something to deserve this mistreatment? Am I such a horrible person?"

And if that isn't corrected--and too often childhood survivors are overlooked and ignored, not able to get the help they desperately need, they often develop and grow into insecure adults with low self-esteem and low self-value.

One very common refrain will ring in their minds: "I am unworthy and undeserving of love."

This is where I feel Jensen's issues stem from. He was exploited by his parents for their gain and profit. Modeling, acting, often told by his father he's being punished out of love (thus creating a negative association of what love really is), and likely surrounded by a lot of people who use him for their gain and profit.

I can't speculate on the relationship between his parents, but what little I've heard and seen of Alan Ackles, it doesn't sound like a healthy example either.

If you don't know what a healthy relationship looks like, or experience it yourself... one struggles a lot. It's how generational trauma is created. My paternal grandfather... was abusive. Emotional and... otherwise (there's a massive skeleton in that closet that left me floored when I discovered it). My own father continued it. I'm determined to break it and I think I've largely succeeded. No, I didn't have a healthy relationship, but I grew strong enough to know what I had wasn't it.

I'd rather be single than in an unhappy relationship. Unfortunately, for so many survivors and victims, it's never easy. Because the voices in their head parroting the fears back to them lie.

It's sadly easier to say "Oh. That person made that choice! It's their own damned fault they're unhappy!" Or "They're the ones who stay!" It's easier to judge than it is to admit that it's not a cut-and-dry situation. That breaking the emotional abuse cycle, that breaking free from abuse in general, is never, ever easy.

I speak from experience. I lost quite a few friends because they actually thought I wanted to stay, or that I was being unreasonable in my fear. Not once did they bother to reach out and try to understand from my end.

"Oh just leave!"

No... it's never easy to "just leave".

Jensen's trapped in a very vicious cycle right now. He finds it easier to put himself down and think he deserves it, than to admit that he's in a situation that he could leave. It's scary to leave. It's the unknown. It's easier, in so many ways, to live with the pain we know than the pain we don't.

Danneel knows it, feeds on it, uses it.

I rambled on a lot. I appreciate your ask and your compassion for Jensen.

Thank you for reading.

[n3kk1tty]

Lost Boys Drabble: Yeehaw David

(Based in Beasts of Santa Carla Universe)

It all started with a joke and a western movie. Only you and David were in the TV room at this point as Michael and Star had long gone to work while Laddie went to go harass his new teenage friends in Woodsboro. David always had trouble sleeping, especially with Laddie being a teenager now thanks to his special meds and the daywalkers being up during the day. He felt anxious being the leader and though he'd rather than die then admit it he was worried about his coven.

" Up late again handsome? " You sprawled into David's lap as he stared blankly at the news channel. He grumbled before a hand found its way to absent mindedly caress your thigh. " Can't sleep. Nothing good is on anyway. " You laugh affectionately as you hand him a glass of whiskey. " Well can't be helped, your watching them talk about the weather. Why don't you watch something with me maybe you'll fall asleep. " The scruffy blonde takes the glass placing a kiss of thanks to your temple before handing the remote to you. " Just no romance movies. I can't fall asleep to those I get too invested. "

Pulling a thin blanket onto your pile you stretch out on the big recliner with David as you turn on a western movie you wanted to see. The quick and the dead seemed like an interesting movie premise to you especially with a female gunslinger as a main lead. It was pretty much assumed David didn't like westerns and thought they were boring as anytime you tried to bring up watching them he'd make snarky comments about it. This time though with him being so tired he was silently complacent as he laid his head on your chest. Curling his aching immortal body against the silk of your night gown which clashed with his cotton tshirt and comical striped pants.

David made it through most of the movie fighting through his sleep towards the end as he really wanted to finish it. When his body did finally crash falling into a deep unwakeable sleep it was right before the finale arc of the movie. Michael had discovered his loves asleep in the big brown recliner when he came home on his lunch break. Having to gently scoop you both up one by one to take you to bed before he had to head back in. Michael lovingly cleaned his hands from motorcycle grease before placing a gentle kiss to David's tired form. This little ritual started a passion in David he didn't know he had.

By the time the local rodeo came around David was an avid fanatic of anything western cowboy related. He even went so far as to have you, Michael, or Star record him rodeo or Westerns on Vhs from the VCR. It wasn't a secret and even if he got some light teasing at first about it everyone could see how much joy it brought him. David even got Laddie to sit and watch a few with him of course though this led to him being called an old man and asked if he lived through Western times. Which hurt but he did indeed live during that age which may have added to his initial disdain for the genre.

All of that didn't matter though when you placed a big stack of rodeo tickets down for him. It would be at night so him and the boys could enjoy which David was absolutely excited for. He made a not so big event of it getting a black cowboy hat and a new stylish black outfit to boot. Dwayne thought it was endearing that he was so excited to have things he couldn't have when growing up. David only ever heard rumors of the cowboys of America's great frontier and here he was at a rodeo watching cowboys at work. Paul and Marko loved the bull riding while Star really only thought the female sections of the rodeo were cool. Michael didn't even know it was legal to strap kids to the back of sheep but he found himself cheering when a little contestant made it half way through the stadium.

Laddie had convinced you to allow his two friends to tag along to the rodeo. The teenager stated it would be boring but he'd go to support David if his friends could come. The minute the bull riding started Laddie, Stu, and Billy were seated eyes glued to the arena as David smirked in triumph feeling like he was still cool. That was until the three teenagers asked if they could ride the sheep which the older vampires huffed they would be too heavy. David would never trade in his motorcycle for a horse but after that night if you offered him a black stallion he'd be tempted. You smiled to yourself as David let you wear his new cowboy hat as you hopped on the back of his motorcycle ready to go home from the rodeo.

Locking your arms around his waist you whispered in his ear. " Isn't there some rule where if you wear a cowboys hat it means you're 'riding' them. " David laughs to himself. " I don't need a cowboy hat to get that message across with you. But officially no that's just a rumor, not actually in the etiquette code. " You both laugh as you ride out into the Santa Carla wilderness back to your shared home with the loves of your immortal life.

[canirove]

In The Name of Love | Chapter 7

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Masterlist

"Ferran, is this allowed?"

"Not really" he shrugs. "But you aren't the first girl we are sneaking into the hotel, and won't be the last" he smirks.

"What if they see us?"

"I'll deal with that, don't worry."

"And what if he doesn't want to see me?"

"He will, Val. For the past month he's been looking like shit again, like when they made him play every game under the sun. But you should have seen his face on the bus on our way to the stadium. His smile. That was my Pepi."

"You need to stop calling him that, he doesn't like it."

"I know" Ferran winks. "And this is his room."

"How did you manage to get the key?"

"I can be very charming" he smiles.

"That charm didn't work on Luis Enrique's daughter, did it?" I chuckle.

"I had not missed your witty comments, Val. Anyway, go make yourself comfortable, he'll be here any moment now. And try to fix things before fucking. Or first fuck and then talk. I don't know, whatever works for you."

"Thank you, Ferran" I say, rolling my eyes. 

"My pleasure" he replies, taking my hand and kissing it like he always does before saying goodbye. "See you around, Val."

"Bye" I say, walking into the room. 

Just like his own back home, it is an organized mess. There are shoes on the floor, a towel thrown on a chair, a phone charger hanging from the bed's headboard… And a book on the bedside table. "Harry Potter and the prisoner of Azkaban." 

"You've kept reading" I smile, touching its cover. 

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"You spend hours traveling and in hotel rooms. Why don't you pick up a book instead of playing FIFA all the damn time?" 

"Because reading is boring."

"Not if you find a genre you enjoy. For example, what movies do you like watching?"

"Anything Marvel" Pedri says, his eyes fixed on the tv.

"Those are comics, you could read them."

"But if I've already watched the movies, what's the point?" 

"Sometimes, if not always, the books are better than the movies."

"Sure. And 5-0. That will be happening in real life very soon" he smirks.

"Militao and Alaba won't allow it" I reply, sticking out my tongue. "But that's not what we were talking about. What other movies do you like?"

"I don't know… Harry Potter?" he shrugs.

"Have you read the books?"

"They are for kids."

"Said the old man" I laugh.

"You know what I mean" he says, trying to tickle me. 

"Pedri, don't" I warn him, moving away from him. "But you've given me an idea."

"Tickling contest followed by sex?"

"No." 

"Then I'm not interested."

"We are gonna have our own movie and book club."

"What?"

"You'll read a book, then we'll watch the movie together, and then we'll discuss which one is better."

"You won't be reading with me?"

"If I have time, I will. I promise."

"Ok…"

"Do we have a deal, then?" I say, offering him my hand.

"We do" he replies, taking it and using it to pull me against him. 

"Pedri!" I laugh while he moves me until I am straddling him.

"Can we now have my tickling contest followed by sex?" he smirks. 

"We can skip the tickling" I say, wrapping my arms around his neck. "But tomorrow we are going to a bookshop and buying you the first Harry Potter book."

"Fine" he sighs. "Can I kiss you now?"

"You can… Pedri Potter" I laugh.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Val?"

"Oh, shit" I say, coming back from my memory, the book falling from my hands. 

"What are you doing here? Who let you in?"

"Ferran" I say, standing up and leaving the book on the small table.

"Ferran, of course" he scoffs. "Was this his idea?"

"Kind of. I didn't want to sneak in, but I needed to talk with you, so" I shrug.

"Talk about what?"

"Us. Me. I want to explain everything to you."

"We can't talk while you are wearing that."

"What?"

"My shirt. I can't focus knowing that my name is on your back."

"Oh, sorry" I say, playing with the hem of the shirt. "I thought you would like it, but I can put on a jacket or something if it bothers you."

"It doesn't bother me, Val. Well, it does, but not in the way you are thinking."

"What?" I ask again, looking at him. 

"It bothers me because you don't know how many times I've pictured you wearing it. How many times I've imagined us fucking while you only have my shirt on. And now here you are" he says, slowly walking towards me. "In my mind you are always wearing the Barça one, but oh well."

"That will never happen" I reply, my voice shaking a bit. 

"I know" he says, getting closer. He's looking at me as if I was his prey, as if any moment now he will jump at me and devour me. And it is turning me on. Big time. 

"Then…" 

"Then we are gonna have to do something about this" he says, now just one step away from me. 

"About what?"

"Me wanting to fuck you."

"Aren't you still mad at me?"

"I am. I'm mad. Disappointed. Sad. Confused. And fucking hard, Val. I want to bend you down on that bed and make you scream of pleasure while I see my name on your back."

"Then do it" I hear myself saying.

"But you came here to talk."

"We can talk later." 

"You'll be too exhausted to talk after I'm done with you."

"Nothing like trying" I say, closing almost all the space between us, my heart feeling like it is about to explode inside my chest.

"Are you sure?" Pedri asks, arching one of those perfect eyebrows of his.

"I am. Are you sure you can do everything you are bragging about?" I tease him, moving until our noses are almost touching. "You kids like talking and then…"

"As if I had ever disappointed you" he laughs. "That was your ex, not me."

"There always is a first time for everything."

"Not with me, and not today. Definitely not today" he says before kissing me.

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Morning" I yawn.

"Good morning" Pedri smiles.

"Have I ever told you that I love your smile?"

"You've said that you like it, but I think this is the first time you've said that you love it." 

"Well, I do. I love… fuck" I complain when I move. 

"Sore, uh?"

"Yes."

"I warned you."

"Shut… ouch!" I say when I try to hit him. 

"Do you need me to carry you to the bathroom or something?" he says with a teasing smile.

"I can do it myself, thank you" I reply, slowly moving to face him while trying really hard to not complain again.

"Are you sure you don't need my help?"

"I'm fine, Pedri. I've been this sore before."

"With whom?" he laughs. "I'm sure your ex never did what I can. Or made you feel the way I do."

"He didn't, no. But last year Emma convinced me to go to one of the classes she takes at the gym, and for the next four days I felt like this."

"So you are just out of practice, uh?" he smirks.

"I am, yes. A month of doing nothing, and look at me. I'm getting old" I sigh.

"You aren't old, Val" Pedri laughs. "And I can help with your fitness. Because I'm a professional athlete and all that."

"Of course" I laugh. "Anyway… Is it ok if we have that chat now?"

"Sure" he smiles.

"Ok" I say, taking a deep breath. "I've rehearsed this many times in my head, so let's hope I remember everything."

"There is no rush, take your time" he says, caressing my cheek.

"I have time, my plane doesn't leave until late in the afternoon. But yours?"

"That doesn't matter now, Val. Talk."

"Yes, ok. So, umm… I guess I should start from the beginning, right?"

"For example" he chuckles.

"So… Marc and I have basically known each other our whole lives. We went to the same school, same high school, same university… And I think I always had a crush on him. Like, I can't remember a moment before we started dating where I didn't think he was… perfect. He comes from a really good family, very posh to be honest. And he is charming, intelligent, super nice with everyone, handsome… The man every mother would like for their kid. And when we both were 15, he asked me out. We were in the same group of friends with Silvia and Isabel too, and half the girls in our high school were in love with him. But he chose me. The girl who didn't drink or partied, the one who knew Real Madrid's starting eleven by heart instead of how to do her makeup, the one who didn't dress fancy, the one who wasn't considered one of the hot girls but neither an ugly one. I was just… there. And he saw me."

"Because you have something, Val, I already told you. I still don't know what it is, but… It is there."

"Yeah, well, thank you" I smile, feeling my cheeks getting warm. "Anyway, after he asked me out we started dating, and that made many girls jealous, Isabel the first of them all. Looking at it now I can see that she bullied me for years, but back then I didn't understand what she truly meant with her comments."

"And Marc didn't do anything?"

"No, he didn't. I think he didn't notice either. Or that's what I want to believe" I shrug. "When we went to uni, Isabel was sent abroad, and during those years without her, everything was perfect. I had met new friends, I was loving what I was studying, and Marc and I were better than ever. But then we both finished our degrees, and everything changed." 

"Isabel came back?" 

"Among other things, yes. Even though we had just moved in together, I felt like our relationship wasn't going anywhere. Silvia had just met Pau for example, and I kept looking at them or some of our other friends and then at us, and something was missing. And then I found myself jobless. Marc had been offered a position on the bank where he had done his internship the moment it was over while I had nothing. I didn't know what to do, if I should keep studying or what. I even started having doubts about teaching, wondering if I had wasted my time and money on a career that I didn't truly like, on something that I wasn't made for. And seeing him thriving while I had all that in my head, wasn't helping our relationship."

"Did you ever tell him?"

"I tried, but he always was so busy…"

"And he didn't notice something was off with you?" Pedri asks, putting a lock of hair behind my ear.

"Never."

"What a shitty boyfriend, then."

"Yeah" I chuckle. "Thankfully everything started to change when I met Emma. Silvia had booked us a pottering lesson and she was there all alone, so we asked her to join us and we instantly connected. Back then she was working at an academy teaching extracurricular lessons with kids of different ages and that they were looking for people to cover for someone who had just retired. She asked me if I was interested, I said yes, and I suddenly found myself with a job and feeling alive again. It was as if all my doubts and fears had disappeared, as if I was me again. The only thing stopping me from moving on and enjoying myself again, was Marc."

"So you broke up with him."

"I did."

"How did he take it?"

"Really good. He said that we had made it to a point where we were more like flatmates sharing the same bed than boyfriend and girlfriend."

"But he never bothered to talk about it with you. He sounds like a bit of a coward, doesn't he?"

"He is, yes. After we broke up I moved in with Silvia, but I still wasn't feeling completely like myself. And then, the night at the opera happened."

"The night… I'm lost" Pedri says.

"Remember when I told you about the engagement party, that it was themed as a night at the opera?"

"Oh, yes."

"Well, six months after Marc and I broke up, he and Isabel were going on a date to the opera and sharing their first kiss." 

"Six months?" 

"Yep."

"He didn't waste his time, did he?"

"And neither did Isabel. The moment she found out we had broken up she was all over him. This was her chance and she wasn't gonna let it pass."

"And she didn't" he laughs.

"She did not, no. I was so angry when I found out. The person I had shared my life with for a decade was now dating the woman who had bullied me for years. And according to most of our friends, I didn't have the right to feel like that because I had been the one who had broken up with him."

"What?"

"Yeah" I sigh. "Anyway, a couple of years passed, I got used to them, dated some guys here and there and started to work at my current school, but I still couldn't let go of that anger, I couldn't close that chapter of my life. Then they announced their engagement, and I met you."

"And I made you forget."

"Exactly" I say, moving closer and caressing his cheek. "You were exactly what I needed to finally leave them in the past, to move on, to fully enjoy this new life I had started after breaking up with Marc. You made me forget about them and my anger, but also made me stop thinking that I was a failure because I had wasted the best years of my life with a man who didn't deserve me or because I wasn't getting married and having kids like everyone else. You were the key that closed that door, but also the one who allowed me to completely open the one of my new life. The life I wanted, one that was mine and no one else's."

"Then why didn't you tell me about Marc? Why didn't you tell me all this?"

"Because I was afraid, Pedri. Afraid of losing you because you are still young and knowing all this about me could scare you and make you run away. Afraid of opening up to someone again after everything I went through. Afraid because maybe telling you could open that door again and make me realize that I had been lying to myself, that he isn't in the past."

"And is he?" he says, wiping away a tear.

"He is. He definitely is, now I know it, 100%."

"Good. Because Val…" Pedri says, cupping my face and making me look him in the eyes. "I have feelings for you. I'm not sure about what they are exactly, at least not yet. I have never felt like this with any other girl I've been with, you know? But I do know that I want to be with you. And I want you to be able to trust me, to open up to me, to tell me everything and anything that worries you. I'm here for you, Valeria. I'm not going anywhere."

"Thank you" I smile between sobs. "But I like it better when you call me Val."

"What?"

"Marc always called me Valeria. Always. And I found it so annoying… Not even my mum calls me like that, only when she's angry with me."

"Ok" he laughs. "Then I will only call you Valeria when I'm angry with you."

"And during sex."

"What?" Pedri laughs again. "Is that some kink or something?"

"When you moan my name it turns me on" I smirk.

"Interesting" he smiles.

"Are we ok, then? Have we made up?"

"We have." 

"Thank God" I sigh.

"That much did you miss me?" 

"I did, yes. You can ask Silvia and Emma if you don't believe me. And before you say it… I missed everything about you. Not just the physical part."

"One would start to think that you've caught feelings, Miss Val" he says with a teasing smile.

"And one may not be wrong. But step by step, ok?"

"Step by step" he says before kissing me.

[shannendoherty-fans]

Shannen Tribute by friends and co-stars, from "Let's Be Clear"

I complied these from the next-to-last "Let's Be Clear" podcast episode. The podcast launched last year (2023) by Shannen Doherty:

Holly Marie Combs:

I think Shannen would be really pleasantly surprised by the outbaring of love and emotion that has come from so many different people in places, because she really did often feel like the underdog and vilified, and that she had to prove herself in so many different ways. I think she'd be really surprised and shocked by how many people have reached out and said really beautiful things about her. It's just a testament to who she was as a person.

I'm angry and I'm sad she doesn't get to see the places that she wanted to. And I'm angry and sad that once again I've lost, you know, that person that you can call in the middle of the night, to cancer. I've lost another friend to cancer. And it's really hard when you lose someone who should have and really wanted to live along in full life, not just for herself, but for other people in her family. You know, when I went through tough times in my life, some really horrible stuff, and one day I showed up on her door step, and I didn't know how bad I looked physically until I saw it on her face, and I saw her face change, and I knew I must have been pretty beat up. To her credit, she never shied away, she never took a step back, and if something was wrong, she went full end to help me fix it. And I think that's because she had seen so much pain and trauma in her own life that she didn't want to see anybody else go through it. And whether it was me or my kids. She was literally always a phone call away.

It's so unbelievable that, even knowing she was sick, we just thought we had more time. And she definitely did think she had more time. So I guess for me, that's the lesson is that you think you have time, but you don't. And not many people could do what Shannen did in one day. She was just like a tornado of energy. But I think that's the thing to take away from all of this is you think you have time, and so you know, she would give me an awful hard time that I don't say I love you enough. To anyone. It's not on a like you know, personal oasis, but to anyone in general. And so I would say, you know, tell the people you love that you love and live like there is no tomorrow, because that's what she did.

Brian Krause:

When I got on the show Charmed, I was really nervous to show up and perform in front of her. I knew the stakes were raised that you know, I had heard rumors and blah blah blah. And I got on, I knew my lines, I did my thing, and she just looked over me and she kind of gave a little wink in a good job, and you know, to get her approval that I had formed well and done well. It meant everything.

I was told I was going to be a regular on the show [Charmed] , it was actually Shannen who had said to me, because when you had powers on Charmed, you usually were a bad guy and you died. And she took me aside and she said, no, you're a good guy, and you're going to stick around, and you just keep doing what you're doing and you'll be around for a while. And it was her way of saying, you know, good job, keep showing up and keep kicking ass and kind of joining me, opening her wings and allowing me to be a part of her family. And I was so honored by it that Charmed had this "let's kick some ass" and make really good entertainment, and that was all Shannen … setting the standard of what professionalism was. And I'll never forget it.

And I've been so lucky the last few years to have gotten to know her as we've done comic cons and this podcast, and to know Shannen is a human and her enduring spirit of anything is possible. And if I could say anything to "Let's be clear" fans, Shannen really believed anything was possible with hard work, determination and vision, let's go get it. And I don't think I ever should heard her say I don't know how, or oh what if, or it can't. It wasn't a part of her DNA, it was "oh, we've run into a wall. Okay, let's fix this, let's get this done, let's do this. No, let's take action". And I think anything I could pass on that rubbed off on me that meant so much was our work ethic and desire to do what she wanted to do and live fearlessly. And I'm going to take that with me and try and do it every day, every day, every day. I love Shannen so much and I wish I got a chance to tell her that she's an amazing, amazing human being… I just feel really lucky that I was able to be a part of [Charmed] . I'm forever grateful for her friendship.

Drew Fuller:

In honor of her, Let's be very clear: Shannen was a warrior. She faced adversity head on with everything that she got and refused to be a victim. She lived her life with so much passion, with love and a fearlessness that I will strive daily to replicate. She's inspired, hired millions of people, She's inspired me, and I will love her forever, and I hope each and every one of you listening will honor her spirit by living the way she lived.

Dorian Gregory:

I remember her with a smile and the laughter and the joy that we shared together, and that way it will live forever. I was impacted by that. First thing on set. I heard this amazing laughter. I looked around the corner and it was Holly and Shannen sharing a moment having such genuine, real laughter. I walked over first days awkward, she welcomed me warmly, and that was and then a lot.

I come from a house of strong women to turn. Accomplished and sharp as sharks, sharp as sharkingby. That was her. My father passed from cancer, and my mother passed with cancer. So I have a little idea of what happens on the day to day. I say this: because I remember Shannen a year ago and her autographs on me. It's the last time I actually was there physically around her and her wit and her warmth and her energy and her strength just as strong as ever, and her generosity and care for her fans… In every convention I've been with her, every time i've been in her presence. A week ago we did a podcast and Shannen was sharing her years of experience in this distance and the ins and outs, and the ups and downs, and her artistic affectionism, and that was so wonderful to hear.

James Eckhouse:

You were a ferocious spirit. You were ferocious in your work, your talent. You're ferocious in your love. You're ferocious in your courageous battle with cancer. I really loved working with you both as actor and director. Yeah, you always brought all of your heart to every scene. And when I brought my young kids to the set, I'm forever grateful to you for being so welcoming, so kind. They never forgot. We honor you and we treasure you. You will be sorely missed.

Mark Damon Espinoza:

Our storylines [in "Beverly Hills,90210"] were always going in different directions, and I'm really sorry we didn't have more opportunities to actually work together on screen. She was a terrific actress. However, when we did pass on the set at the studio wherever we were, you know, make up, trailer or wardrobe or whatever. She was always really really nice to me. And at the time, it would have been very easy for me to be intimidated. You know, I was working with some of, if not the most famous young people on the planet at that time. They didn't have to be nice. Shannen was, however. And I'll always remember that.

Years after "90210", she was shooting something at the gym where I was working out… and I was a mess. I was just coming from a run and I was sweaty, but she saw me from a good distance away and stopped production, came over to me, gave me this huge hug and wanted to know how I was doing. And she didn't let me go until I told her. I mean, not everyone would hug a sweaty guy at the gym after they've been in hair and makeup and and have a crew waiting. But that that's Shannen, and I'll keep in my heart, you know. That's that's the one I'll remember for the rest of my my own life.

None of us are immortal, and our time is far too short. Hers was far, far too short. But her energy, her her fight, her spirit, that'll live on. That'll live on.

Shenae Grimes:

I owe more to Shannen than I'm sure she ever knew, than most people know. If it weren't for Shannen, I would not be who I am in so many more ways than one. I had the good fortune of being cast on the spin off series of "90210" in 2008, playing the character Annie Wilson, who was part of the brother's sister duo that moved from a small town to Beverly Hills. And the only reason why that happened is because Shannen Doherty created one of the most iconic characters ever to be on television in my opinion, and I think a lot of people would agree with me on that one. Shannen Doherty created the character that we all fell in love with.

I had the incredible fortune of stepping into a tiny version of her shoes and hopefully follow into her footsteps in a way that made Shannen proud. Because Shannen was so warm and so lovely and so fiercely strong and unapologetic, and she is the type of woman that I have always aspired to be. And it was watching her do it despite everything that she was met with and continue to forge ahead, being true to who she was that gave me the confidence to do the same, no matter how much resistance I've been met with throughout my life. Because of that, and there, I've said it before, there's really not been much of a blueprint for how to be a strong, unapologeticly strong woman in a world and society that is so determined to tell you not to. But she did it. She did it, and she, as far as I'm concerned, is one of the very few that is the blueprint. It's women like Shannen Doherty that give the rest of us permission and confidence to demand what we deserve, stand up for ourselves, and not take any shit. And I hope I'm allowed to say that, but I think Shannen would be okay with it. In my short time of getting the job on "90210" and starting to film and being a part of the tabloid fodder and media craze that was at that time, it was only a little why into that process and that experience that I met Shannen and had the privilege to actually work with her portraying the character of Brenda alongside me on "90210". And at that point, already in just a short window of time, I had been so mentally broken down by the experience. You know, I was eighteen when I moved out to La to take on the job. I was by myself, left my family back home, really didn't know anybody other than my cast. And the behind the scenes drama that "Beverly Hills, 90210" was known for definitely was recreated behind the scenes of our spinoff of "90210" as well. And I think Shannen and I am not having ever spoken about it, but I think a lot of our experiences, or the experiences I had, mirrored a lot of the experiences that she had.

Meeting her that day in the trailer, I was so exciting because she was my favorite character from the original show. I had watched it with my mom growing up, so I was a super fan of her already, and I think, you know, brown hair like, she was the gorgeous brunette for the show, so I felt most like tied to her, and I was so nervous meeting her, and she literally just like welcomed me into her trailer with the biggest smile and the warmest hug, and it was like I don't even know if she meant to communicate this with her hug, but it made me feel so seen and like I was not alone in everything that I was experiencing at that time, because it was a lot. It was a lot for an eighteen nineteen year old girl to go through. And getting that hug from her, knowing that she experienced so much at times a million when she was my age, like, was everything to me because all I saw with this was this beautiful, strong woman who was so resilient, who had made it out of that experience still with her chin held high, fire in her belly and being true to who she was, and to me, that was Shannen Doherty. The queen of the Badasses that give us all permission and confidence to be who we are, to demand respect, and to never settle for anything less tan what we deserve.

David Lascher:

I always admired her for being such a strong woman. She knew what exactly what her voice was. She didn't pander to anybody. My scenes [on "Beverly Hills, 90210"] weren't with Shannen, and she was a tough nut to crack, to be honest, she was guarded. But then we became friends. She had this soft side to her that I think a lot of people didn't know, and she was a beautiful soul, and to see such a strong person have to fight the fight that she went through was so heartbreaking and I really thought she was winning. And I'm just so sad and heartbroken, and I love her soul and I hope she's at peace.

Randy Spelling:

Ever since I saw that smile on "Little House on the Prairie" it just lit up the screen. And Shannen lit up the screen, every screen that she was on. She lit up a room, every room that she was in. She just had this energy about her, and she was small and she was slight, but she just had such a big presence and energy that you could feel tough at times, soft and sweet at times.

Shannen, you will be so missed. You will always be my first legitimate crush. And I know you were greeted by so many loved ones. Thank you for being you and for being so committed to that which you believed in and showing that to the world. No matter what it was, you had this incredible commitment and tenacity and drive and passion to go after what it is that you believed in.

Dean Butler:

When we met Shannen for the first time at the beginning of season nine of "Little House on the Prairie", she made a very strong impression. And that impression there were a couple of things. One, she was talented. There was no doubt that Shannen had a gift. And the other thing that you couldn't miss about Shannen is that Shannen was determined to make something of herself in the entertainment industry. She had one of the most powerful motors in that area that I've ever seen in all the years that I've been around our industry. Shannen left us way too soon, but not unlike someone else that she and I both worked with on "Little House", Michael Landon, who died at the age of fifty four from pancreatic cancer. Shannen fit a lot of life into her fifty three years, and she will be remembered for it.

Kevin Smith:

Shannen broke the Internet before the Internet even existed. She's an American icon.

When I went to work on 'Clerks', when we went to Minnesota to shoot the movie, it was almost as if you know the business, Hollywood whatever, you know, I'd arrived with my first movie, but here I was about to take make my second movie, first with the studio, first with a real budget. And the first person from the industry to meet me over this bridge that I crossed thanks to making 'Clerks', the first person in the business of professional who was there to welcome me was Shannen. And I always found that wonderful and bittersweet and ironic that I spent so many nights watching her [on 'Heathers' and 'Beverly Hills, 90210'] on this little television grainy TV, and then I saw her in all her glory in real life, no grain whatsoever. I had a crush on her then I'll always have a crush on her. She was a force of nature.

One month since your departure. Forever missed. Never gone, never forgotten.

[vrmxlho]

"so you must be the new sous-chef..."

"yes, that's me." the kitchen was much smaller than you anticipated. there was no staff either. you knew they were on a break but you just couldn't imagine any more than 10 people using the place. you had expected the great chef sae itoshi to have a vast kitchen with thousands of assistants and cooks so he wouldn't have to lift a finger. after all the restaurant he was running was no small place. 'so, he's picky with his staff' you thought. 'that feels oddly satisfying'. the fact that he was so young and handsome made it even more satisfying. someone your age accepting was an ego boost.

but he didn't even spare a moment to look at you. turning harshly, he threw an apron in your general direction and snapped his fingers twice, indicating he wanted you to follow him.

"you'll be working with me on the final presentation of all dishes before they are served." he looked back at you this time. not really at you but to more so to show you his sour, displeased face. "i take it you've worked as sous-chef with many other chefs before."

"yes."

"yes, chef. if you don't mind." again, he turned his displeased face over his shoulder and gave you a sickly, forced smile.

"sorry, chef."

"so you're incapable of running your own kitchen."

"i just want more experience as–"

"that wasn't a question or an invitation to talk."

there was this burning coil in your stomach as you both came to a halt in front of the main island. it stood right in middle of the kitchen but far from the fridge and the service doors. there were already three plates on it, each hosting components of the the great chef's speciality.

"i'd like to test your skills for a week. if i am unsatisfied, you'll have to find some other place. does that sound fair?"

"yes, chef." it didn't sound fair at all. your contract strictly stated that you would have this role for at least a year before anyone could even think of firing you. but what could you say? you couldn't anger him before you'd even started.

so, you slowly approached the three dishes and inspected them carefully. the first had a perfectly cooked sockeye salmon, with iridescent scales you could almost see yourself on, and a buttery pink flesh that smelled of lemongrass and green apple vinegar.

the next plate had flowers. many flowers. sprigs of lavender, spotted pansies and violas, bright and bitter marigolds, and heaps of small, gentle violets. you could still smell the life in them, as if they had just been picked.

the last plate had a single comice pear and a large orange. it was almost insulting to see the mass producing fruit company sticker still on both the fruits. yet inside, you knew this was a test of creativity. not of how well you could spot expensive ingredients.

"no sauce, chef?"

to this he looked at you gravely as if he was going to slaughter and serve you as the next 'it' dish. "i can only sauce dishes after i've examined them and i have made sure they're ready to go."

"what about white wine?"

"we serve that at the table."

"but where can i find some?"

"are you planning on drinking on the job or is there some other pressing reason?"

"i want to make something."

again, he looked at you, infuriated. this time he slammed his hand on a nearby island and spat, "you can do that when you get your own kitchen. if you get your own kitchen."

"it'll only take a moment." you said directing yourself towards the fridge door that loomed behind his imposing figure. you didn't really understand yourself. all you knew was that your body wanted, no needed, to move in that direction. but before you could reach the handle to open it he pulling you back by the waist until your back hit him.

his mouth was right above your ear. and he whispered in a menacing tone that felt as if it was sucking the life out of you. "i swear i will lock you in that fridge if you dare waste a single extra second. you could have been done by now."

"how am i supposed to prove my abilities if all i'm allowed to do is plate a dish with no taste or sauce?"

you didn't know why you were still whispering. what you also didn't know was why you were still being held to his chest by your waist. 'is this something i can tell HR?' somehow you chose not to. perhaps because you wanted to stay like that. his smell was intoxicating and you had to fight the urge to take a deep breath it.

"what abilities exactly? you come into my kitchen, tell me you want to make a sauce when you've clearly been instructed to plate. you have full liberty there, yet you are not satisfied." there was something very cold and cutting about his warm breathe on your ear and you felt a chill mix into your burning stomach. he slowly pulled his hand away from you and turned you around. your back was now flush against the cool metal fridge door as he towered over you menacingly. "what can i do for you? oh great sous-chef!" he mocked.

the coil in your stomach finally snapped and couldn't tell if you wanted to beat the life out of him or cry. you took a deep breathe and walked back to the island. you pulled a knife from a rack beside you as you quartered into the pear vertically and plated it with the salmon. you gently put the flowers around the fish in the centre to fill up the entire plate, leaving space only for sauce.

you were left with the massive orange, which you peeled and ate. a snack to be enjoyed. while staring sae dead in the eye. he probably wanted you to plate it with the salmon. elementally, they went wonderfully together. but all you wanted right then and there was him pissed, and on the table ready to be gutted alive. you were going to kill this man before your contract was up. that was a vow.

"this will have to do." he seemed to have given up at this petty war you had started. you didn't want him to back down, but what were you to do? you couldn't keep provoking him, that would get you no recommendation letters for future jobs. "we'll continue with this tomorrow."

and continue you did. it was as if that night's rest had spawned an even greater hate for you within him. all day you were running around the kitchen getting dishes ready for him to inspect and taste.

"this could use some sauce."

"you said not to use any or else it would overpower the taste of the quail. chef."

"did i? are you sure? why would i say something so ridiculous and untrue? quail is already much richer than any other poultry. i doubt a simple sauce would overpower this." again, he gave you that sickly, dead smile that made you squirm.

'then i suppose the other sae must have told me to leave the sauce out.' you thought. but you couldn't bring yourself to say it.

you too made the most repulsive face you could, before quietly saying, "my apologies, chef."

it didn't end on a simple sauce though. you were never the lucky type. and so, the harassment continued with everything you did.

"this sorbet is too icy. i could cut myself on the ice crystals."

so you changed it. you melted the base, added sugar and lanique and refroze it before serving, yet, it was still not enough.

"too much alcohol, this isn't supposed to be a digestif."

and you remade it completely. it was perfect, even he would agreed. yet he said nothing to compliment your work.

"i hope you don't need to make things three times before they're edible..."

would anyone really mind if you threw a knife at him then and there? you surely wouldn't. besides, with all the knives around an "accident" is bound to happen right? 'stay calm. just cope for another 12 months and you're good.' it was hard to convince yourself you were fine but you just had to.

"now blindfold yourself for the next task."

"why exactly?" you asked uncertainly. there was no way you were going to obstruct one of your senses in his presence.

"do as you're told."

"where am i supposed to find a blindfold? i'll just close my eyes. or turn around–"

he took a step closer to you. his face was mere inches from yours and you feared he could feel the heat rising to your face radiate off your skin.

he looked even better up close. you could see the pigments in his iris, the dialated pupils as if he was enjoying himself, his gracious eyelashes that curled perfectly the almost there freckles, his rosy nose, and his lips. his lips. his lips? how would you describe his lips? well, his lips looked kissable. that was really it. and you wanted to kiss them. you would've too if you didn't know any better.

you felt his hand slip close to the pocket near your stomach where he pulled out a silk blindfold. you could feel that same burning coil in your stomach and you suddenly felt nauseous. your heart was palpitating erraticaly as you wished to step away from him. but you couldn't. you were frozen.

"you're able to put a blindfold on right." he sighed as if just being in your presence was sickening.

"yes, chef."

it's a strange feeling, being robbed of your sight. 'i guess it's to heighten my sense of taste.' how foolish of you. he wasn't even thinking at that moment. he found himself wondering how soft those lips could feel. perhaps they would melt in his mouth just as your indian fig sorbet had done. what would your lips taste like? if he was going to kiss you he might as well feed you some mint.

"tell me what you taste."

you feel a cool metal spoon approach your mouth and you open it just a bit before you tasted the contents.

"honey."

"what, honey?"

"lavander. it's salty. and greengage prune. half-ripe."

"good. now try this."

this time the spoon faltered a little and a bit of whatever was in it was smeared on the corner of your lips. before you could quickly wipe it, you felt his fingers gently swipe over the area. the burning, nauseating coil in the pit of your stomach was cutting. it felt like a searing pan constantly hitting you or a knife pulling your skin off. your heart rate was increasinging steadily and you were reminisced to a time were you were free of such a fragile heart, a time before sae.

"confit peppers. and a seaweed sauce? or is it just very salty–"

"can i kiss you? please."

"why are you so polite suddenly?"

"please."

you didn't speak. you just parted your mouth slightly, eagerly, restlessly. the next thing you feel is a pair of lips on yours, soft and tender. he kissed you slowly and languidly, as if he were filled with a deep longing that he’d never experienced before.

when the kiss does come to an end, and you're left standing there, breathless and wanting more. the air is thicker, heavier even. the moment lingers as you hear the thundering of your hearts, and your panting breaths.

"mint? chef?"

for @earthtooz, ik you don't even like him but you're the only reason i finished this

[valentine-writes]

hiii would love to see anything about miguel or spot!! if it’s not too much trouble!

in a good way.

「 tws + notes: no tws, unedited, might be ooc, almost all fluff, ok maybe a little angst but nothing crazy, pining becuz im a sucker for the chase, they are Yearning 」

「 gn!reader, can be platonic or romantic <3 」

↳ ft. miguel o'hara/spider-man 2099 and the spot/johnathan ohnn

author's note: I LOVE U ANON!! IT IZ NO TROUBLE AT ALL!! i hope these suffice,, plz 4give me if miguel's part is lackin just a bit!! im workin on writing him more accurately (*ﾉε｀*) <3 and y'all ATE UPPP the hcs for the spot last time so,, i hope y'all end up liking these too!! (also psstt,, usually i take into acc reader's personality here but since nothing specifically was requested, i'll try to keep it vague! sorry if certain parts aren't what you'd like!!)

MIGUEL O' HARA headcanons:

"i didn't know i was capable of being happy right now / but you showed me how"

▸ he's already lost,, a lot. this man is someone who had lost everything he had ever loved in pursuit of keeping it with him

so when he finds himself growing attached to you?? he feels like it's something he simply can't afford

he's doing everything to make sure he doesn't end up too attached, that you never get any closer to him

however– overtime, he finds that you are unavoidable. whether you're doing it on purpose or subconsciously, you always manage to pull him back to you.

just when he thought he had finally left you behind for good, you lure right him back in.

▸ i've seen a lotta hcs saying he's like,, smooth w/ it and stuff– BUT... part of me thinks that he doesn't have a clue about what to do with his feelings towards you

and he is far too prideful to ask for any sort of help or advice from anyone.

...so does it take an immense amount of time for him to even consider that it's okay to wanna be close to you? yes.

but he's weak for you. he knows it. part of him really, really doesn't want to be. but he is. and though he tries to convince himself it's not evident, it doesn't take a genius to realize it

▸ especially because miguel allows more to slide if it's you. this especially manifests in touching.

while miguel's not all "ew don't touch me" he doesn't really care for brief, friendly touches. this is different when it's you.

he might be speaking to you after a mission. while he talks, you're silently tracing the tips of his fingers with your own, observing his hands like they're the most interesting thing in the world.

"are you even listening to me?" he questions. there's a slight hint of irritation in his voice, his brow furrowing slightly. this expression of his softens almost immediately as you look up at him, eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"...your talons," you comment quietly, "they're retractable. that's cool."

he makes no effort to pull his hand away from yours. maybe he even secretly hopes you'll do it again sometime.

▸ miguel might be haunted by loving and losing from his past. but maybe loving you isn't such a bad thing. maybe it's a pain he's willing to endure. he'll try for you.

for you, it's worth it.

▸ OK GETTING LESS SERIOUS HERE. so i understand in atsv his fangs are retractable. but in the comics, it's noted that he tends to open his mouth very little when talking to conceal them.

i love this first of all.

now, miguel's not necessarily insecure of his fangs or his teeth (which are slightly crooked because of the new growth of his sharpened canines) but i imagine that he finds it easier to just keep them hidden and avoid any questions.

if he has to explain he's not a vampire to someone again he'll genuinely explode

"morning, migs–" you greet casually. another sign of his lenience towards you– he lets you give him nicknames.

"morning." he mutters back, just barely audible to you

you blink at him, trying to process what he said. "huh?"

"i said, good morning." he repeats, still mumbling without much of a volume change.

"damn, okay, okay– what's with all the grumbling? something got you stressed?" you're aware your question is stupid. knowing miguel, who always finds something to stress about– even at 8:30 am

he shakes his head this time, much to your surprise.

"i'm not grumbling." miguel insists.

"sounds to me like you are."

("nuh uh"

"fym nuh uh–")

miguel– when not bossing people around– is out here, mumbling and grumbling in casual conversation

and you're the one who's trying to remind him to speak up.

▸ no matter what relationship you're in– friendship, queerplatonic, romantic, whatever– he's generally a bit more reserved about it.

he sees it like this: if you two are close, why would it be anyone else's business?

however a certain holographic companion and her big mouth (which i wanna kiss oh so sweetly i heart lyla) ends up making a little joke about you two in front of a few other spider-people

lyla's casual abt it– saying sumn like, "don't mind him, he's being grumpy because his favourite isn't around."

name-drops you before miguel can tell her to shut up– and everyone's like "?!?!?!"

and the word SPREADS

▸ but like. is it really too much of a surprise? more than often, he finds himself trying to check up on you to see how you're doing.

"just making sure you're fine." is his weak little excuse just to see your face and hear your voice again.

when something is just mildly wrong though... he's the type to scold while taking care of it.

"i'm fine," you shrug, trying to rub some warmth into your arms, "just a little cold."

"i told you to bring a sweater." he groans, looking around for his.

those seemed to be miguel's favourite words sometimes: "i told you."

"i know..." you mumble sheepishly, staring at your shoes.

before you can say anything else, he drapes his sweater over your shoulders. "next time, i'm letting you freeze."

you look up at him with a little smile, mouthing a quiet "thank you" to him.

(there is no next time. he lets you keep the sweater.)

▸ ok one last headcanon cuz im obsessed w/ the little details abt this man. so. canonically (and i love this) HE DOESNT HAVE SPIDER-SENSES LIKE MOST SPIDER-PEOPLE.

instead, he has elevated super-human hearing and vision. but– (if you're like me) when this information is revealed to you,,, the immediate thought is to mess w/ him as much as possible.

trying to sneak up on him and startle him has become a common game between the two of you– so much so, that he's almost expecting you to be around every corner he passes if he hasn't seen you in a while.

he catches you before you get the chance on occasion. you forget to hold your breath and he hears you. your heart is beating hard, out of the sheer adrenaline rush of hiding and he picks it up. maybe you didn't notice that you're not fully concealed.

each time, he'll sigh exasperatedly and pull you out of your hiding spot.

"you think you're so funny." his grip is still on you, and though most would read his expression as annoyed– you catch the slight glimmer of amusement in his eyes. you're just lucky he finds your antics endearing.

on the chance you do manage to genuinely catch him off guard, he curses loudly, immediately going on defence mode

"shocking hell," he groans, upon seeing it's just you, "i was going to web you to the wall."

miguel probably does accidentally web you at some point. "play stupid games, win stupid prizes" he'd say.

(he might act like you're a complete headache sometimes- but ur his headache <3)

THE SPOT/JOHNATHAN OHNN headcanons:

"you make me wanna cry in a good way"

▸ he finds an excuse to talk to you always. (SINCE WHEN DID "I WANNA HEAR YOUR VOICE" NOT BECOME A GOOD EXCUSE) calling you up, messaging you– if you give him permission, he'll ramble a ton to you. about physics, the multiverse– anything he's passionate about.

it means the world to him if you ask him questions about it, actively engage in the conversation, or even just showing that your listening by welcoming his endless chatter. he even tries to impress you with his knowledge. he wants to be perceived as cool in your eyes so bad. craves admiration,, or at least appreciation. and nothing makes him feel more admired than you listening to him talk.

but he's obviously not tryin' to talk your ear off and bore you to death. he wants to hear your voice too– and takes genuine interest whenever you decide to ramble back with whatever's been in your head recently– maybe it's something you find particularly interesting, a piece of media you really like, something you're passionate about– he'll pay attention and listen to every word.

you get a turn and he gets a turn! ´͈ ᵕ `͈

if you happen to share a common interest– whether it's because you got him into it, he got you into it, or you both just liked it in the first place– the back and forth about said topic will be as endless as you want it to be

▸ the type of guy to bump into you constantly while you walk with him (is this also a habit of mine? we'll never know...) and it is PURELY unintentional. he can't walk in a straight line to save his life

he's walking with you casually, and all of a sudden, his shoulder will crash into yours, nearly knocking you off balance

he fumbles over his words a moment, reaching out his arms to catch you– and he manages to break your fall. he regards this as a very smooth move on his end, in spite of the fact he was the cause of you nearly eating pavement

"sorry! i'm so sorry– are you okay? i mean, yeah, you probably are. i caught you. you're welcome–"

"my hero." you reply, with a playful roll of your eyes, giving him a light smack on his arm (earning a little "ow" and a nervous chuckle from him) as you restabilize yourself.

▸speaking on his little “ow haha” moment… headcanon that even though he’s not really all that sensitive, he reacts like he is. the type of guy to say “ow” at every minor discomfort.

he has a mild headache? actually his brain is melting inside his skull and he needs to whine about it. he has a cold? he’s literally dying. when he’s comfortable with you, he’s comfortable enough to complain– even about trivial things

he's well aware it's not actually the end of the world. he's just silly enough to act like it is. very reactive fella :>

totally the type to exaggerate just to see you react,, he thinkz itz funny–

"oww,," he whines, rubbing his arm where you'd just given him a light punch, "you're so mean to me."

you try to stifle a laugh. "man, c'mon. i didn't even hit you that hard."

"it's gonna bruise :((("

"can you even bruise in uh..." you trail off, staring at the his post-collider incident body, white and spotted with black portals "...your state?"

"ok now that actually hurt."

▸ he's more selfless with you. ohnn often finds himself wanting to do anything in his power to make you happy. anything for you. anything.

may be just a teeny bit insane about the way he carries this out, but it's mostly innocent and sweet gestures

like, if you casually mention wanting something, he'll 100% dimension hop just to bring it back to you.

and while you know that he's probably stolen it,,, you can't find it in yourself to blame him. he's got the purest of intentions. his demeanor changes from nervous and awkward to proud, as he presents you with the thing you were just talking about a few days ago.

“no way, dude!” your eyes light up, taking the bag of candy (or whatever you like if you're not a big fan of sweets) he just presented you with, “i haven’t had these in ages-  i swore this was discontinued, though. where'd you get them?”

“i have my ways.” you can hear the dorky grin in his voice.

he loved watching your face light up in excitement over even the simplest of gifts.

▸ feels like he's holding you back sometimes. he's well aware that his situation means that you two can’t really be in the public eye. it hurts him to think you could be living a completely normal life if he was just never in that stupid collider… or if he let you go, so you could find someone else

he’d never break up with you though. he feels too selfishly about you– if you’re gone from his life, who else could love him the way you do?

sometimes, these thoughts and worries keep him up at night. expect late night conversations, his face buried in your shoulder as he holds you tight, as if he’s scared you’re going to slip away if he lets go.

there are nights where he has a hard time believing you really wanna live like this.

“hey…” you whisper, pulling away slightly so you can look at him. you gently grab onto his jaw, tilting his chin up so he meets your gaze.

his entire frame is trembling, leaning into your touch. he doesn’t speak.

“you know you’re irreplaceable to me, right?”

he melts at the tenderness of your voice, the patience you have with him. he pulls you in just a little tighter. your comfort never fails him.

▸ TRUST ME WHEN I TELL YOU THIS MAN IS 100% FOR YOUU. on your side. always.

someone was mean to you? they're an asshole and he hates them.

someone was condescending towards you? they're an idiot and they've got no clue who they're talking to.

but if someone dares to bother you beyond just making you mildly irritated and/or upset– if someone makes you cry?

DAWGGG,, ALL HELL IS BREAKING LOOSE. nevermind if you insist you're fine or that you can deal with it yourself. he's asking for full names, addresses, details– he's revenge motivated. anything for you.

▸ ok moving onto normal fluff for the last bit (ﾉ)'ω`(ヾ)

corny. corny. corny.

he's incredibly endearing with his earnesty as he tries to expresses his adoration for you... but also very cheesy and dorky when it comes to showing you affection.

it's sickeningly sweet, the way he stammers over every compliment, trying to explain how much he loves every bit of you.

giving him a genuine compliment back to shut him up has him nearly fainting.

johnathan likes getting verbal reassurance and praise,, but he's much better at showing his affection via physical touch– of course, only if you don't mind. doesn’t wanna make you uncomfortable!!

but if you're comfy, he ends up craving physical affection as well– i talked abt this in these headcanons but IM BRINGING IT UP AGAIN AS PART OF TOUCHSTARVED JOHNATHAN NATION.

one day, you're leaning into his side sitting close to him on your couch. your cheek rests against his shoulder while your fingers are gently tracing his arm up and down, brushing against his skin with a feather-light touch, absentmindedly. he squirms a little beneath your touch, the room being too quiet for his liking.

"so... what are you doing?" he asks, glancing over at you.

"guess." you reply, not looking up.

you're tracing... something. he can't seem to get why though.

"oh uh- okay." he thinks for a moment, a bit puzzled. after a second, he perks up, piecing it together slowly in his head.

"are you tracing a letter?" johnathan asks curiously.

you nod silently.

"okay, okay– uh... L?"

another nod.

"O?"

nodding again, there's a small smile on your face.

"V? ...oh–" he chuckles slightly, now understanding what you were spelling.

he's amused at your strange way of affection. guess he isn't the only one capable of being sappy.

you laugh softly, finally tracing an E on the skin of his forearm, followed by a U and a little heart <3

"you could've just told me, y'know." in spite of his words, he knows that he likes this. you and your silly ways of showing that you care. the ways you tell him that he's cherished.

you huff, giving him a light smack on his arm. "you're no fun." your eyeroll does little to conceal the grin growing on your face.

he flinches from the playful hit. "owww..."

(YOU TWO ARE SILLY 2GETHER!! SILLY NATION!!!!)

[adjit]

This was originally going to go in my post on Dick and Tim's relationship in Red Robin, but I have moved it to a separate post because while I can draw conclusions from it that ultimately serve my defense of Dick, it's kinda a whole other subject.

If you know the story of Tim's hot girl summer, you might know this: he saw a portrait of an "ancestor" of Bruce's and realized that Bruce was alive, and trapped in time, which lead him on a worldwide quest to finding clues about where and when Bruce is. This is true! However, this is not how a reader would experience the comic. Because while the first 4 issues cover most of the saga of Tim's departure from Gotham, you don't actually see that he had any proof of Bruce being alive until issue #12- the end of the arc. And this was done 100% intentionally.

Details and analysis of this under the cut!

In issue #1, this is all you get (in two separate flashbacks spaced over the issue):

A closeup shot of his face, after throwing a bit of a fit and breaking shit, suddenly saying that Bruce is alive. That's it.

It isn't until issue #12 (which was published an entire real time year later!) that you finally get to zoom out and see what actually happened:

The first four issues jump back and forth between Brucequest and the events immediately preceding Tim's departure from Gotham, and while that time is mostly covered in these issues, they withhold from the reader that Tim had any proof until after everything is over. Tim never mentions it and it isn't shown on page.

This is done very intentionally to create narrative tension! It introduces mystery and doubt!

And more importantly, for the point of this post, it introduces the specific tension that Tim isn't sure if he's right that Bruce is alive and neither is the reader.

(Granted, comics readers are going to know that Batman is alive. They don't kill off big names in comics, not forever, and in any case you can read his adventures in time in a different comic and he's clearly alive there. But that's not the point and you know it.)

When Dick, Stephanie, and Cassie all react to Tim suddenly saying Bruce is alive with alarm, confusion, or pity, the narrative is constructed so that the audience is reacting the same way.

Why was this a part of my Dick defense? Because the narrative itself is reinforcing his view. Tim is supposed to come off as unreliable, information is withheld from the readers to invoke that reaction from them as well, and the characters believing that he's reacting poorly to grief are completely understandable.

But, if you'll allow me to go on some more analysis...

As I said, Tim never mentions his proof on page. He knows he sounds crazy, and yet not in a single conversation does he bring up what caused him to think this way. Throughout the first issue especially, he also has a way of insisting that he's right in a way that makes you think he absolutely does not think he's right.

"I know I'm right until I think too hard about it" really inspires confidence. Almost as much as "he's all I have and he has to be alive." That's definitely an argument based in logic and not in grief! (<- lying)

And thinking to yourself "Oh my god, it's true" when you actually find evidence is the sign that you really actually believed it before you found that evidence!

All this to say, Tim was not at all confident in his hunch. He himself doubted whether he was right, but he latched onto the idea in his grief.

Dick wasn't even wrong to believe that Tim was only believing this because he was grieving! Because he absolutely was! Tim was doing all of this as a last ditch effort and it was absolutely motivated by him not wanting to face a world where Bruce was gone. He ended up being right, but even he doubted his own original hunch, and underneath it all knew he was grasping at straws, even though he couldn't bear to admit that out loud. So much so that he, and the narrative, never mentioned it. Not until he already knew he was right.

[password-door-lock]

Saeran lingers outside your door for a moment before knocking as gently as he can. He's still getting used to the feeling of the leather gloves against his skin, but the rest of this disguise is easy for him. He's spent so much of his life pretending to be Ray that by now it almost feels natural to imitate that marshmallow. “Come in,” you call from inside the room, your voice soft and sweet. 

Already, you are falling for Saeran's ruse, hook, line, and sinker. All he needs to do is knock differently to convince you that he is no longer a threat, that your darling Ray has returned to comfort you. “Are you sure you even want to see me, after everything I’ve put you through?” He calls back, sounding as timid as possible. The look on your face when he finally pounces is going to make up for all of this groveling, Saeran assures himself. Then, you’ll be the one asking embarrassing questions and averting your gaze. 

“I always want to see you,” you reply, sounding almost cheerful. This is nothing out of the ordinary, of course— you’re usually energetic, even when Saeran is doing everything in his power to make your life hell.

Well, you're practically asking him to mess with you now, he decides, restraining himself from throwing the door open. Instead, he calmly turns the knob, allowing himself just enough space to slip between the door and the wall. “My MC,” he breathes, trying to sound pathetic. Judging by your expression, he's doing a phenomenal job. “My prince(ss). I missed you so much.”

“I missed you, too,” you reply, still sounding painfully tranquil. You must be pretending to be strong to trick Ray into trusting you— well, to your credit, it worked the last time. This time, though, Saeran is going to show you what happens to weak people who try to act stronger than they are. “I was getting worried. I'm glad you came— I was just about to call and check on you.”

Ha! You would try calling Ray even after he disappeared. You're probably too much of an airhead to figure out that he wouldn’t be able to answer. Saeran needs to change the subject fast, before he bursts out laughing and ruins his scheme. This is really just too good, and he's barely even started. “MC…” he lets your name escape his lips as a breathy sigh, “Would you... could I please… well, could I have a kiss?” He widens his eyes as far as they'll go, letting his lips part in a pantomime of vulnerability— he's sure he looks as comical as he sounds, stumbling over one simple request, but you seem unperturbed. 

“Of course, honey.” You speak so casually as you hold out your arms for him, like this was exactly what you expected. Then again, of course you would expect Ray to fall for your strange tricks. “C'mere.”

“Sure,” Saeran breathes. It takes a lot of effort to keep imitating Ray's voice as he approaches you, pitching into your embrace. Unlike Ray, he's never done this before, but he must be doing a passable job, because you don't have anything to say about his strange behavior. Seriously, he’s not even trying that hard anymore, and you still can’t tell the difference between him and Ray? Pathetic.

You draw him into a hug, and Saeran inhales the breezy scent of your shampoo. He hates that smell, hates how weak it makes him, hates the way it mixes with your natural scent and expands to fill up the whole room. It takes all of his effort to keep from pushing you away, from punishing you for giving him these complicated feelings— you must be doing it on purpose. How could anybody's passive existence have anything resembling this effect on somebody as strong as Saeran? But it will all be worth it when he reveals himself.

You say you love Ray so much, but you don’t even notice when Saeran dresses in your lover's clothes. It will destroy you to realize that you unknowingly kissed the monster who waltzed into your bedroom wearing your prince's face. You'll prove once and for all that all you care about is that face, anyway— you're just like every other liar, making false promises that you do not intend to keep. Saeran is going to revel in ruining your plans, in the tears that you shed once he turns this game around. 

He expects you to pull away a little to kiss him on the lips— that was certainly what he hoped would happen when he made his initial request. Instead, you press your lips gently to the top of his head. “You don't have to act like Ray, you know,” you breathe, caressing his arm with affection that feels obvious, even through the ridiculous pink coat. “First of all, I can tell the difference, anyway, and more importantly, I never want to make you pretend to be anything you're not. You’re safe with me, Saeran. I hope you know that.” 

He pushes you away. Of course, he has to. Saeran can’t let you go around thinking that he liked being held in your arms— no matter what you say, he has a reputation to maintain. “What the hell are you doing?” He demands. It’s all he can think of to say.

Before you can tell him what he already knows— that you were only giving him what he asked for— Saeran darts across the room and slams the door behind him on his way out. He doesn’t need to hear your excuses, anyway. He’s too busy making up his own. 

[toffeebrews]

Time has come. So what do you think about Cross x Nightmare, Killer x Nightmare and Error x Nightmare? (yeah, 3 in one hehe)

I kinda understand first 2 but the third one was always questionable for me

I realize now an ask like this is probably asking for my opinions on the ship rather than yapping about hcs.... Personally not a big fan of nightmare ships! Just because of how I see nightmare I'm just not sure if he could? Even if my version of him is different then canon (you'll see him...someday). Idk my view of him is weird. For this, I'll just go with assumption Nightmare can love unlike the canon. For fun of course! I'm a canon bender what can I say.

Crossmare I personally have never really gotten. Their relationship is? Not good in anyway and I don't?? really see cross actually liking nightmare? Perhaps I just missed something but I believe Cross saw their relationship as transactional. Same goes for nightmare of course. I don't see it going beyond that. But like go off bro ✨

(more yapping under the cut)

this one image by @/jakei95 is funny though (I'm only posting the first part LMAOO)

Killermare however I can see the appeal. As I said, don't really know much about killer. However, the head and the henchmen? Yeah, I like that trope lol. I like to think they have a sort push and pull dynamic that while yes Killer have a sorta...dependent relationship killer isn't like?? trusting of nightmare at first?? Eugh its hard for me to word but like... killer has a bit of pull back and isn't just... an softie i suppose? I see Nightmare actually enjoying the presence of Killer over other characters. They would have a spicy (not as in sexual though I love the hc that killer is asexual LMAO) dynamic though. There's probably a better word but I can't think of it rn. Unlike cross killer has more... uh? feistiness to him ig. Not that cross wouldn't have but I suppose I mean killer's words could actually have an impact on nightmare while I don't think cross could ever effect nightmare. Hopefully I worded that correctly. Also like... killer enjoys killing and cross doesn't? I find from what I've found (which is like two comics so far I'll finish it all someday...) of their canonical dynamic quite fascinating.

I'll be honest I just like this ship because of this. one image I found drawn by @/rahafwabas . A joke post obviously but it's so silly I said "yeah I kinda get it." That and you killer fans posting about it converted me.

What a goofball huh? Anyway.

Errormare I can't really see either. I could maybe see them working together if they had too but only then. Especially since Error would be a PAIN to work with. Unlike someone like Ink, Nightmare wouldn't allow himself to be friends/in relations with someone if he was constantly interrupting his plans or interceding his goals. Error would do that since he destroys aus and Nightmare wants to keep these aus around to feed off their negativity. Idk I feel like Error wouldn't listen to nightmare and that would annoy the hell out him LMAO! Maybe if they both went on a ✨ self care ✨ journey they could be like redemption bros or something

To you shippers out there though love you all anyway even if I can't see it!

[blackstarchanx3new]

Creations AU, But I obnoxiously over explain it PT 1

Pages 1-30

We are introduced to the man who ruined my life:

Currently nameless night guard with pale as fuck skin and pretty dead inside eyes. Weirdly grey hair for how youthful he is and blonde eyebrows.

Bro dyes his hair grey for some unexplainable reason.

forgive the art looking goofy it is over 2 years old lmfao.

I was too lazy to draw shit on a lot of the walls. I hate drawing backgrounds. Still do they are annoying. So BGs barely exist in Creations. It allows a lot more character focused shots but it is also very annoying looking back. X'DDDD

Though it means if I bothered with a background thing it's IMPORTANT.

Mike suspiciously eyes the things I bothered to draw on the wall because: Oop Springtrap.

Which you think would be a plot hole but this comic fucks with your sense of what reality is in the comic's own logic.

Mr. Nightguard still refuses to talk, but is intrigued by the robots on his cameras.

You'll notice: I tend to draw a LOT of panels for smaller details.

My comics have now been compared to "Storyboards" and I feel like that is more accurate. Like a lot of comics STUFF dialogue and actions into tight panels but as an indie comic creator: I don't have page limits lmao.

So I can make them do smaller actions and have the pace be a little slower.

I think this is why a lot of people get impeccant with my comics but I kinda like showing off more small simple actions.

Freddy appears!

And Mr. Nightguard is flabbergasted and checks his cams. Sure enough Chica and Freddy are both gone.

There's an error in this page lmfao but we're not gonna talk about that.

Freddy seems friendly enough...Maybe TOO friendly...

Freddy wants to fuck the nightguard lmfao and makes it very obvious.

So this is a running gag in Creations: you think a character will be one way and they just...Aren't. (Because of pre-established AU concepts like..."Freddy's a good leader")

This Freddy, is distinctly "a hoe". And I love him.

If it isn't extremally obvious...but just for those who are REALLY dumb: Most of the robots aren't possessed by kids.

This AU takes ideas from the FNAF series and ignores a lot.

Because it's an AU.

And I can do whatever I want lmfao.

People accepted Freddy was a slut but then got REALLY ANGRY about random semantics like what a certain character's name was.

And I'll never understand how you could accept Freddy being HIMSELF here, but would get mad about like...NAMES.

Someone explain that to me???? X'D

Either way Mr. Nightguard isn't ready for Freddy and locks him out of the office.

Freddy responds rather childishly by getting angry and proclaiming he is the most important person here.

Mr. Nightguard just points to the camera wordlessly as if to say "I am watching the place/you"

Freddy gets pissy and decides to go to SOMEONE to sort the nightguard's rude behavior out.

Freddy is seemingly more bothered about the Nightguard being rude than the rejection itself.

Bonnie the Bunny is a smoking tough guy in this comic.

Why?

Because the most accepted Fannon Bonnie was a weak little shithead that didn't do much so I made mine a tough guy. X'D

He's a stoner because comedy.

Distinctly one of his eyes are busted and he is not a fan of Freddy plowing into him.

We learn immediately Freddy whining to Bonnie is normal and while Bonnie acts annoyed he goes to sort things out immediately showing his loyalties do lie with the bear.

Also bonnie is huge if Freddy's height is anything to go off of.

He yanks off Mr. Nightguard's hat and is generally a rude fellow himself.

Asking bluntly if Mike has a second to hear what he has to say.

Mr. Nightguard stares blankly at this action.

Bonnie has no clue what personal space is, getting more and more into Mr. Nightguard's face and doesn't even let him respond.

Bonnie's the one who seemingly keeps the peace around here via thinly vailed threats of violence.

Freddy's whining fest is again linked to the rude behavior of slamming the door and Bonnie isn't a fan of hearing it.

Bonnie continues not to let Mr. Nightguard get a word in and is ready to leave getting ready to smoke another cigarette.

Mr. Nightguard recognizes Bonnie prompting my favorite lines from any character in this comic:

"What a freak"

because Mike being considered a freak is a running gag in this comic for reasons that become VERY apparent.

Bonnie's eyes shift a different color too. How odd. :)

I was lazy with this one lmao.

Someone with the initials "F.S" is a big fan of Freddy.

And other doodles have a lot of references to broken hearts.

Mr. Nightguard can hear Mike coming, he DID something that pissed Bonnie off. This presumably had to do with Freddy Mr. Nightguard seems unphazed and rather silly in his mannerisms and dialogue despite his blank expression.

Saying "Boop" as he presses the button and obviously lying when he claims he doesn't know how to use a knife in a fight.

Why is Mr. Nightguard carrying a suspiciously large kitchen knife around on him exactly?

Bonnie is ready and WANTS a fight, but Mr Nightguard is very hesitant to do so.

Bonnie is rude and blows cigarette smoke into Mr. Nightguard's face, repeating he is pissed off.

asking if Mr. Nightguard knows how people die there.

Golly gee. I can finally stop calling him "Mr Night guard"

This is Mike Schmidt. We are introduced to the idea there is ANOTHER Mike in the building... If you are familiar with FNAF lore you know exactly who that is.

Bonnie proclaims Mike Schmidt's new name is "Baby boy"

a very rude and condescending nickname for a grown man.

Bonnie has an odd device in the back of his throat when he opens his mouth wider. If you've noticed up until this point: Bonnie doesn't open his mouth to speak, that thing in the back of his throat is an air filter and he keeps his mouth shut until the air he smokes is clear.

This is never stated directly in the comic, rather smth you gotta infer yourself at some point. Which lead to MANY people asking "Wtf is that thing in Bonnie's mouth"

It's an air filter.

Mike gets tossed into the backroom area.

There's a cheeky reference to my OC comic Falling Cards with some art on the wall. There's a LOT of Falling Cards references in at least a few of my FNAF animations I know that for sure. X'D

Mike is disturbed by the blood on the spare empty Freddy suit.

Bonnie not so subtly threatens "That's where he's going"

Implying someone has most certainly DIED in there.

I have joked with just about everyone that scene is kinky.

And that joke only gets funnier when smth about Bonnie is revealed later buuuut I digress.

Mike is prepped for death.

Mike actually shows some emotion here being disturbed as the suit is tossed besides him and Bonnie lifts up the Freddy head.

Mike shows off a package of SOMETHING that captures Bonnie's attention.

People assumed that was chocolate.

But considering we've seen Bonnie obsessed with ONE THING and ONE THING ONLY...you can kinda infer what that packet is...

Mike's attitude intimidates even Bonnie.

This kinda gives the vibe nobody's been this aggressive, at least in this particular manor towards the animatronics before.

Mike comes off as an incredibly unstable individual given what we know about him so far:

He carries around a kitchen knife and will quickly snap if you act in a way he deems inappropriate.

It's revealed in case you didn't realize: This was a package of cigarettes.

Which leads to the fun question: Does Mike smoke?

This would seem silly on first glance. He HAS a pack of cigarettes of COURSE he smokes...Right?

Notice: He doesn't use the previously mentioned knife through this scene but would rather use bribery...

This shows Mike would rather manipulate/intimidate than actually fight physically. Which makes sense considering Bonnie's size and strength.

Or perhaps he is avoiding a fight with Bonnie for emotional reasons. As it's implied Mike has some connection.

Either way he cuts a deal with Bonnie that he will give Bonnie a few cigarettes for work. And Bonnie agrees.

We start off in the office, it is unclear if this is a new day or the same night.

Bonnie happily has his cigarette and Mike remarks he didn't think Bonnie NEEDED to smoke.

Bonnie just responds Freddy's bots are weird.

There's a help wanted easter egg here with the faz token in the lockers.

Mike is searching for "anything of interest" and establishes he's interested in the bloody suit.

Bonnie seems amused by this outright stating he just wanted to scare Mike. Delighted in getting a reaction out of our so far very stoic night guard.

Bonnie seems clueless about the actual death surrounding that suit, just that he knows SOMEONE died in it at SOME POINT. But can we really trust his word at this point?

Bonnie also says ANOTHER favorite line of mine, because it's so stupid

"Hah...Blunt"

get it. because weed-

Anyway Mike mentions a person named "Jeremy" to Bonnie and Bonnie confuses this person with another Jeremy in a different department.

This evidently isn't who Mike is talking about.

Bonnie's SHOCKED Mike would DARE leave the office but Mike's full of sass and says as long as he has the tablet to watch the cameras he IS doing his job.

Bonnie shows an odd level of concern, voicing Mike is putting himself in danger.

Mike not so slyly brings up he can bring Bonnie more cigarettes as a way to keep himself safe.

Bonnie's vision gltiches as Mike smiles and Bonnie is very freaked out by this, weirdly apologizing for nothing.

Bonnie has a moment of clarity realizing he has seen Mike before somewhere too.

Something about this man is FIMILAR.

Bonnie catches on Mike's method of self preservation: His blank expression.

It's a lie.

One Bonnie can see through easily as Mike's actions don't reflect a state of someone who is calm.

Asking Bonnie to stay close and holding his hand, coming to the realization Mike feels safer with Bonnie for whatever reason.

He purposely does a creepy at the cameras freaking out Jeremy Fitzgerald, who isn't interested in "Being a witness".

A hand pokes out from behind Mike. One that isn't Bonnie's.

OH HI GOLDEN FREDDY'S MASSIVE BLEEDING FLOATING HEAD. HOW THE HELL ARE YOU!?

Mike and Jeremy seem to not notice their presence.

Jeremy is terrified of Bonnie however. Mike reassures Bonnie is a non issue as Bonnie pats Mike's head firmly mockingly saying "Hi Jeremy"

Bonnie continues to mess with Mike's hair rather childishly while Mike seems unphased. Bonnie's antics aren't something he really seems to mind.

He bribes Bonnie with more cigarettes to watch the cams while he discusses things with Jeremy. Jeremy himself lamenting Mike is WEIRD.

Jeremy quickly realizes Mike isn't completely insane and starts rambling about his terrible experiences at Freddy's.

Noting the Nightguards are really redundant considering the robot security.

His comment about the robots being "Evil" pisses Bonnie off.

The person who shares Mike's name is brought up again we now know him as "Michael". Jeremy is eager to get onto dayshift with this individual and Mike also wants to get in touch with him.

This "Michael" figure apparently works in the rental place below the main building and not much is known what goes on down there...how odd. Jeremy seems a bit upset by this fact.