#i really want to do this whole fic justice so updates are going to slow up a bit but i'm still here writing it :)

[blazingstar29]

icemav angst

“I would suggest,” Jester continues. “Going across the hall and requesting reassignment to the next boat leaving port.”

His face goes slack with shock. Of all things, he hadn’t expected that. But it means they don’t know about Ice…He can still protect him. 

“Which one would that be, sir?”

[p1a9u3]

PeepHole Ch.1: Moving Day

Masterpost Ch.1 - Ch.2 Pairing: Dylan Matthews x Fem Oc

Rating: 18+ (mdni)

Genre: Neighbors/Strangers to Lovers, Smut, Angst, Fluff, Slow-burn

Summary: Moving isn't as exciting as Amoya thought, plus she may have pissed off her new neighbor.

Words: 3.2k

Warnings: (This story takes place in 2024) Mental illness (anxiety, ocd), Violent intrusive thoughts, Language, Age gap (5years), Using phone while driving

Status: Unedited

Author note: This is the first fic that I've ever posted, I've written before but I've never finished anything and published it so don't tear me to shreds, please. I chose to make an oc instead of just writing as a reader mainly because I made a whole character in my head before I wrote this so I decided to just make her an oc, if you would like a post going more into this oc of mine feel free to ask (I might post it anyway because I like her), there is no smut in this chapter btw. Please give me feedback and suggestions, constructive criticism, etc. Don't be a bitch about it though...please. I'm thinking of making this a series POSSIBLY, but I procrastinate a lot so that may never happen. To my fellow troublemakers hopefully, I do Dylan justice and my writing is at least a little bit accurate to his personality. Still, to be fair I'm a fairly new troublemaker having only found out about this man a few weeks ago, so if something isn't accurate please correct me...politely. He's become my new hyper fixation so when I saw there aren't really any fics about him I decided I should make my own so here we are. Anyway with that being said Enjoy <3. Update: Dylan is barely in this chapter

Monday, February 26, 2024 Time: 8:30AM Moving out was less relieving than you thought it would be. Having been by your mother's side for almost all your life, you'd gotten comfortable always having someone around.

'You can't live with your parents forever'

People would remind you whenever the topic of anyone's living situation would be brought up. Being twenty-seven and still living with your mother wasn't something you wanted to keep telling people, no one would take you seriously. Though your mother never pushed for you to move out, never mentioned it actually. You think you know why. You never say anything though, so you deal with the slight embarrassment, and ignore the judgmental stares you get whenever someone brings it up.

'They don't know our relationship'

More excuses you make up to justify your obstinance; and to mask the anxiety you're feeling as finish up packing your U-Haul. You had finished packing your stuff from your shared apartment and were now finishing the few boxes you had in storage. Now in the elevator mustering up the strength to carry the last two boxes back down to the truck. Grabbing the lock you had left on the floor, you place it on top of one of the boxes and stack the box onto the second one, bending down and lifting with a soft grunt. Long strides carrying you to the elevator, you push the down button with your foot. The doors open soon after, you step inside setting the boxes down as you push the bottom floor and wait. Pushing off the wall as the doors open you pick up the boxes once again, you quickly load them up into the U-Haul before grabbing the padlock from on top of the box, and then heading to the front desk of the storage building.

"Here, the unit is clean and empty." You smile at the woman as she takes the lock and keys with a thank you.

Turning on your heels you walk back to your U-Haul giving everything a once-over before locking it all up, now turning your attention to the hitch attached to the back of the Truck where your precious car is hitched too. It was a black and cherry red 1993 Nissan 240SX with a red interior, you had seen it while driving with your mom past a repair shop when you were 25, back then it had no windshield or wheels. You won't lie and say you fixed it yourself but you did invest all the money you had at that time to fix it up and color it how you wanted; you still would say it was worth it. Checking the hitch and chains attached to the bottom of the car making sure everything was set and ready.

"Everything looks good?" Your mother said making you jump

"Yah! A warning ma, please! And yes everything looks good, I packed up the last two boxes and returned the keys and lock to the front desk while you were in the bathroom." You let out a breath calming your heart from the scare you just had, your mom snickering next to you. You turn to her rolling your eyes playfully as you walk to the front of the truck, your mom following behind you.

"Good, let's get on the road." Your mom hops into the passenger seat and rolls down the window. "I wanna get home by Wednesday."

You climb into the driver's seat, buckling your seatbelt then checking your mirrors. You two had agreed on driving to your new apartment, taking turns every 5 hours, once you got there she'd help you unload and unpack on Tuesday, and your mom would then fly back to New Orleans on Wednesday. The more you think about it the more you feel yourself panic a bit.

"Okay."

Time: 9:00AM Starting the car, you let out a breath putting the car in drive and pulling out of the parking lot of the storage building. You could tell your mom was trying to keep herself calm by the way she would rub her right thigh with her right hand, it was a nervous tick she passed down to you. Unfortunately, you were just as nervous, so you decided to turn on the playlist you and your mom made while eating the night before, mixes of all kinds of genres put into one playlist to keep you both entertained during the drive. Pulling off the main road and merging onto the freeway, you glance over to your mom to see her smiling wide looking back at you. She has that look in her eyes, you know it well.

"Its happening ma." You smile back at your mom then look back to the road

Your mother places her hand on your thigh, letting out a long sigh and a soft squeeze before returning it back to her own lap. You see her wipe a single tear from your peripheral; you don't acknowledge it. She'll start bawling the second you tell her not to cry. So you pretend not to see it and start singing along to Erykah Badu, your mom turns the music up a bit and starts singing along too. You smile to yourself as you glance out your side window, watching as familiar buildings pass by in a blur, You think you'll miss this place. No, you know you will, but a part of you is kinda excited, relieved almost. You've silently always longed to live on your own, but another part of you calls you selfish for even wanting that until now

'How could want to leave your mother'

You know it's normal to want to move out of your parent's home, every grown adult has to move out at some point, and twenty-seven is a perfectly normal age to do so, You wanted to move when you were twenty-four. Hell, some people live with their parents till they are far in their thirties.

'But you know your mother may need you right'

All your brothers have moved out, they are doing good on their own, and you're the only one left. It was only a matter of time; you tell yourself. Your mom will be fine, she's dating a new man who treats her great and takes care of her. Hell he tried to hire a moving crew to move all your stuff, but you wanted to do it yourself and your mom wasn't going to let you drive almost halfway across the country by yourself.

'you could've found a place closer to her you know'

Phoenix, Arizona. You chose Phenix simply because it was affordable for you and close to LA, your mom agreed it was a good choice. There is work in LA, California is just so expensive, so you chose the next best thing. The apartment is nice from what you saw as well, one bedroom, two baths with a study. It was perfect for you.

Time: 11:23AM The drive was going well so far, your mother eating a bag of chips she packed along with all the other snacks and drinks. You were eating a Honeybun, one of your favorite snacks, and drinking water. Your mom had turned off the music and started watching YouTube with mostly commentary so you could listen and drive, Right now a video was playing talking about some ice cream drama in North Dakota. Author note: if you watched this video featuring Dylan is in Trouble, I know it's technically in the future but I don't care, this is all fake anyway. You found it interesting and kinda funny, laughing every now and then when your mom would pause to add her opinion. About two-thirds of the way into the video you glance down at the screen, there are two guys now instead of one, and one of them is wearing glasses, you glance back down looking at the title of the video 'Insane Local Ice Cream Shop Drama (w/ Dylan Is In Trouble)' You made a mental note of the second guy's name for later, his voice was nice you told yourself, he was also fine as fuck. You leaned your seat back as far as it would go, which wasn't very far, getting comfortable. You still have two more hours left to drive.

Time: 12:35PM Your mom had fallen asleep about ten minutes ago, YouTube was still playing, The next video had been the same guy as before. You looked down for a second, looking at the title of the video that had been playing for about fifteen minutes. 'Guessing Finales After ONE Episode (ft. Dylan Is In Trouble)' You smile to yourself a bit recognizing the name at the end of the title, you let the video play just listening to the guy talk for ten more minutes. You caught yourself smiling again when you recognized the second guy's voice as he joined in for the rest of the video, you took a sip of your water glancing down at the video, seeing him pop on screen whenever he had something to say

"he's funny." You mutter to yourself quietly, thinking out loud.

The video had ended and your lips fell back into their original position, as an ad played before the next queued-up video, you looked down at your GPS. 1322 miles to go; you let out a sigh.

'200 miles closer to leaving you mom'

She was helping you unpack, so you technically wouldn't be leaving her really. If anything she was leaving you since she had to fly back home. You prop your left elbow on the open window, your left hand holding the steering wheel, and your right hand comes down to your thigh, rubbing small circles back and forth.

'What happens if Devon goes back home'

Your oldest brother Devon was working at a mental facility. He was on his medication and was doing good, he managed to get a job there and has been making decent money. He was doing fine, He is doing fine.

'What if he stops taking his medication again.'

They will keep tabs on him, they know his habits, his symptoms, He is fine.

'Has another episode and gets out'

That wouldn't happen. He's fine

'He'll be there when mom gets back'

No.

"Hes gonna ki-'

-beep! beep! beep!-

Time: 2:00PM Your mom's alarm goes off, making you jump a bit. Reaching over to turn it off, your mom moans a bit as she wakes up from her short nap, stretching her arms a bit as she yawns.

"Jeste li spremni za promjenu." she yawns out, going for a sip of her water ( translation: Are you ready to switch)

Your mother's Croatian tends to slip when she's just woken up, or delirious. You nod your head looking at the next exit sign to find a gas station, spotting a Love's off the side of the freeway. Slipping off the freeway you pull up to the gas station before parking next to a pump.

"Bathroom?" You look over at your mom, she nods, unbuckling her seatbelt and hopping out of the truck, you do the same.

You both enter opposing stalls to relieve yourselves of all the water you had been drinking, washing your hands after. Your mother heads back to the truck to pump the gas as you browse the aisles for any extra snacks, spotting a honeybun you instinctively grab one, then two, and head to the cashier. You place your honeybuns on the counter and then look up at the cashier who seems to be invested in something on her phone, she wasn't wearing headphones phone volume at maybe thirty percent, you could hear what she was watching. You recognize the voice, the cashier finally looks up from her phone quickly apologizing for not paying attention.

"Oh I'm so sorry, will this be all" She quickly rings up the two honeybuns.

"No you're fine, that'll be it actually." You dismissively wave your hand pulling out your wallet to pay.

Looking down you notice her phone, she had put it on the counter, and the video on it had been paused but on the screen was that guy again, though it seemed to be a video of his own this time. You pull out some cash and hand it to the young woman behind the counter, she takes the cash, counts it, and then goes to get your change.

"No, it's fine, keep the change" Flashing a smile then grabbing your honeybuns you take another glance at the women's screen before it turns off from being left alone for too long.

Opening the passenger seat door, you climb into the seat buckling yourself in. Pulling out of the gas station your mom pulls off back onto the freeway continuing your journey. You pull out the bag you had brought for little activities, pulling out your book of choice. You had splurged at a Barnes and Noble a few weeks before you began packing, picking up a bunch of books you had either heard good things about or had been wanting to read. Red Rising was one of the books, it was also the one you were currently holding.

"I'm gonna put my headphones on, so you can listen to whatever you want." You tell your mom as you put your headphones on and pull out your phone.

You had gotten the book on Audible a while back and wanted to read and listen at the same time. Pressing play you turn to the first chapter and begin reading as the narrator spoke. Your mom seemed to have put music on, you could feel the bass as she turned up the volume and began singing along.

Time: 10:56PM Hours had passed, it was your turn now with two hours left till your next switch. Your mother was knocked out, lightly snoring as you drove in silence, you had stopped reading once you had switched. You also decide to put off reading it until you were moved in, the book had grabbed your attention, so much so, that you wanted to be able to focus on it solely; so you chose to wait. You had a couple hundred miles left to go and things were sinking in more as you drove silently. Your mind doing its usual thing, making you worry about things that most likely won't happen, even if it did, you know it wouldn't be your fault. You couldn't help but think maybe it would be though, it was a dumb thought but you couldn't help it

'What was that guys name again'

Your brain blanked for a second, random but ok, your brain goes back to the YouTube video your mom had been watching, that cashier was watching him as well. Dylan is in Trouble, you wonder what kind of videos he makes, most likely commentary. You pull your phone out glancing down and go to YouTube, you use the voice to text and hold your phone up to your mouth.

"Dylan is in trouble"

You press search, going back and forth between looking at your phone and watching the road. You look down to find his channel, press his icon, and scroll through some of his videos. Movie commentary is what you mostly see, occasionally you'd spot something different, you decided you'd dive into his channel later when you weren't driving.

Time: 5:00AM You were in the driver's seat, you had let your mom sleep more after she had been driving for about three hours. She was up now though, you could tell things were starting to catch up to her again. She was fidgeting a lot more now, well so were you, she looked very tense. She helped you find this apartment, but you assume she wants to see the neighborhood for herself, in person, wants to see how good the security is and what the neighbors are like. It's only natural, she's a mother and her only daughter is moving twenty hours away from her. You look down at your phone, your GPS says you are pulling up now, you look around the area, it was very nice, wasn't too far from the city. You spot the complex to the left, it was pretty big with multiple sections with apartments, you were building three, kind of in the middle of everything. You pull into the complex parking in front of the leasing office to speak to your landlord and to get your keys, your mom comes with you of course, sizing everything up.

"Hi welcome to Arts District Apartments, it's Amaya correct, my name is George?" An old-looking man stands from his desk, his hand reaching out to shake yours

"Thank you, George, it's Amoya actually" You reach out and shake his hand with a smile.

You two talk a bit about the complex and its rules etc. Your mom chimed in every now and then to ask her questions. Before you know it you're unloading the truck into your new apartment, you're realizing now that you didn't have as much stuff as you thought. The last thing you had left was your bed, you and your mom had been doing well with just the two of you, but after you two had gotten the mattress inside your mother's back began to bother her. Now you had your bed frame, you told your mom to relax for now and that you could get the frame up yourself. Partial lie, you previously took apart the bed frame and so there were mainly long pieces that weren't too heavy except the backboard, that thing was heavy as fuck, luckily you had a dolly at the storage building to help you carry it out, but now you have to carry it to the elevator and down the hall. You managed to get it down from the truck, and from there you lifted it and sped walked to the elevator, almost dropping the bed frame on your foot as you set it down to push the button. The doors had closed on you twice as you tried to pick the frame back up and lift it into the elevator, but alas you made it, now on the third floor and outside the elevator. You took pride in your body, you considered yourself strong, regularly went to the gym, and you would say your legs were the strongest part of your body, with that being said, you tried to make as little noise as possible since it was still early in the morning, you lost your footing. You were almost there, your door being right in front of you; but you fell. Landing on the door behind you hitting your head with a very loud thud.

"Bumbo." You whisper yelled at yourself in Jamaican as you set the frame down and leaned off of the door. (translation: Fuck)

Holding the frame upright you walk around it reaching for your door, the frame slipping from your fingers and falling against your neighbor's door again. You prayed that your new neighbor was either a very deep sleeper or wasn't home right now, though maybe you didn't pray hard enough. You lift the bed frame from your neighbor's door, getting your phone to get your mom to hold the door open for you so you can slide it the rest of the way inside. Stopping, you hear the door behind you click open. Your bed frame blocked your view of whoever had stepped out, but you could hear him.

Ch.1 - Ch.2

Updated Author note: Hopefully this was an enjoyable first chapter or part. The apartment is just a random apartment complex I saw on Zillow, everything in this is all fictional besides the YouTube videos and things that are obviously real. Anyway, I have decided to make this a series, I've gone into too much detail on little things like Amoya's intrusive thoughts and all that, and it'd be a waste to shorten and delete half of what I put and speed through everything, Amoya's intrusive thoughts and anxiety is a trait I added from myself, so you'll notice a lot of internal thinking and scenarios she makes up in her head. Hopefully, the idea is as cool as what I thought of in my head. If this does well, I will upload the other chapters one after the other, If it does bad I'll just delete everything, but please be patient I procrastinate a lot and I want the writing to be good. Please be honest and let me know how you all feel about this, if you like the writing, the main character, the pacing, the storyline, length, anything, and everything, I need criticism but don't be a bitch about it.

[descendantofthesparrow]

Hii! I’m a new descendants stan and Thomas Doherty simp here, do you have any fic recs?

hi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! welcome to the fandom~ its lowkey dead lol, of course-i rec my fics as i am the top Harry Hook bitch 'round these parts~ i have a whole master list available to read-but the other fic recs i have~ (be warned i mostly read x readers or huma fics)

my fav fics of mine are Regained passion(ballarina/chads sister reader!), the poyw series(our world reader gets sent to descendants and falls in love with Harry)(which has several rewrites and revises, but i suggest reading 2.0 and rewrite the most), and cant stop this feeling(mermaid!chubby! reader)-which is a smut fic so...yeah :D

Chasing the ocean by @findmeontheisle is amazing-i do not believe its completed yet(its very very slow updates but so worth the wait) but its such a good read-its an Harry Hook x reader(of course)

ANY of @disneyfan50's fics!!!!(which are hosted on quotev) like-they're so good-so good, she does justice to Ben's character and even Mal's character in certain fics(even if it's making her worse igbh), most of her fics are OC fics or have an OC in the fics that it mainly follows-aka Lia~ my queen~ the best of these oc fics being True defender and Rewrite the stars~ she ships Lia and Ben and its so cute-i love them so much

@humaforever has a buncha good Huma fics, like *mwah* chefs kiss

@eloras-headcanons is a fellow Harry bitch and has some AMAZING fics to read that have Harry as the main character(we love to put him through so much trauma and angst, like-frfr) my favorite of their fics is Labour of love! which is a chef/baker harry fic that bonds with ms.potts during his time at auradon prep and includes a madness curse~!(they are having writing block for descendants/harry so-slow updates~ but very worth reading)

isle of De vil is a good fic! its a d1/d2 carlos got left behind on the isle fic where he joins the pirates and gets feels for Harry n Uma, its very good-10/10

the line between is a sea three go to Auradon in d1 instead fic! its actually where i first read about the madness curse and just-yoinked it for myself lololololol, its very good, good amount of fluff, angst, yerning, Ben being adnorable, and Gil being a good boi-Huma fic with a side of Ben wanting to date the pirates, its incomplete but so good.

am i good, am i bad, help me figure out who i am? is SUCH a good fic-its complete and a reverse au of D1 that includes the D2 babes-where Ben, Jane, Doug, Lonnie and Aziz(a character from the books) go to the isle instead of the c4 going to Auradon, it includes Bal(cute bal) huma, Lonnie/Jay/carlos, Azis/Jonas, ad Gil/Jane(WHICH IS SO CUTE I CANT), plrently of angst and isle chaos-Lonnie and Aziz join the pirates and Jane is such a brave blue bird in it i love her sm

theres really alot of good fics on a03, thats a good place to look-dont forget to reblog and leave some love for the fics you read on here, and comment and kudos on a03~!

[letstrywritingmaybe]

I’m trying to write the next part of the sibling verse and I’m a little undecided over how things should go… so I’m thinking maybe I should just try and start the lying verse instead. I’ll edit the first part of the POV series later, I’m planning for a lunar new year update since it’ll be my day off. But we’ll see. I should also edit my Valentine’s Day ficlets too… I’ve not been on it at all writing wise with being busy amongst other issues… also trying to talk myself out of a big purchase but I’m kinda the worst at that cause I’m all about experiences and it’s literally on my bucket list! There’s a reason why I keep saying I’m self indulgent as hell, in all aspects of my life I’m like this *sigh the problem with being an impulsive fangirl with no chill. I’m supposed to be a responsible adult and I do not act like it

Just an addition, yo this lie verse is so typical lots of love vibes, like this is all my fics. Literally, I say this as if I don’t write fics that are like my vibe, but still. I’m just reading through my overall outline and I’m like this is what I was thinking??? Definitely very reminiscent of when I started this writing thing. Which means I hope I can keep it short, but also I’m impatient which is why I fail. I never wrote it cause too many other ideas but also cause I’m so bad at executing my visions cause I’m too impatient! Basically what I’m trying to say is, authors who can write slow burn well and keep things not super sappy I applaud you cause I could never. My brand really is just a fangirl with a bunch of ideas she speeds through cause she cannot keep focus and do it justice completely. And this is why I could never do this professionally, it’s an art and I’ve definitely not mastered it. Not even close

Unrelated thought that I’m just gonna let sit for a moment cause I don’t wanna get into it, but I’m generally curious over what the rest of the shippers think about the level of attraction between them and how extreme it can be. Cause I have my extreme of toxic as hell and girl you need run via the adoption divergent of the marriage verse. But generally I prefer softness and it’s what I typically write. But some fics I read make me want to explore the more extreme side… okay for real gonna go to bed now. Nighty night 😘🩵🌙

Update: I’ve sorta edited the valentines event ficlets and I’ve finally settled on a summary of sorts for the lie verse. And I wrote one whole sentence! Tomorrow I’ll have to edit the pov verse. I’m still unsure over the sibling verse, so it’s on the back burner. It’s a good thing I never make promises to update regularly cause I’m the worst at that

Update 2: I’ve started the lie verse and I’m undecided how long each chapter should be? Cause I also don’t know how many chapters there will be either??? Decisions, decisions… I’m 1.5k into chapter one and I’m at a good stopping point… but idk.

[thisgingerhasnosoul]

Hi friend! Hope you're well ❤️ I'll try, and fail, to keep this short by getting straight to my question: I was wondering whether or not you plan chapters. I just started getting into writing (and into reading fanfic tbh, A Girl of the Night's Watch is the second fanfiction ive ever read -- im loving it so far) and wanted to know what your process is; with this book in particular. I love how you build tension, and how you nurture the dynamics and allow for them to grow in a slow and real pace.

One of my favourite things you've written, which you deserve high praise for, is the whole sequence of Caitie being sent off the the Night's Watch. The little snippets we see of her conversation with her brothers and how Owen's send off later ties in with Lord Commander Mormont's short talk with her. And then we get the full scene after finding out the truth of how her brothers and Mormont worked together. It was such a satisfying and well planned out reveal. I had to go back a few chapters just to go through the whole thing again. Absolutely beautiful, truly. And it was subtle, too. I hope you got all the love for it.

Im fangirling, sorry. Back to my question: your process. You seem to have planned out the rest of your fic and where you're to take it (im scared but I know you plan on doing all these characters justice). Do you do this before you ever start the fic, or is it something you do sporadically? Do you write 10 chapters beforehand, or upload immediately after writing a single one?

Sorry if this was intrusive or boringly long. I appreciate your work and just had to ask. Cannot wait for the update, im genuinely on the edge of my seat.

Firstly, let me just say congratulations on your journey into fanfiction (and into writing as a whole)! I hope you continue to have a good experience with it, and feel free to ask whatever you want whenever you want—I don’t mind.

Now to answer to your question. To be honest, it’s a bit… complicated, because I am not a well-organized person, and so my writing process is pretty all-over-the-place. I have a document with the chapters all listed (even the ones that haven’t been written yet, which are always subject to change) and I have a rough idea of what will go in those chapters which definitely keeps me on track—but for the most part, my philosophy when it comes to outlining is: “know the basics of where you’re taking the story, and bullshit your way through the rest.”

For example, some of the major plot beats of the story I did have mapped out in my head from the very beginning—the Mormont thing, pretty much everything to do with Caitie and Grenn, her being found out after the battle at Castle Black, etc. I actually even wrote the events of S8 first (though the final version will be very different because the story and characters are wayyyy more developed than they were when I started). But there were also a lot of plot beats that developed on their own as I was writing, and I simply adjusted as needed. For example, Johnna and Willa didn’t exist until I was doing some early drafting for parts of season 5 (I think I was still posting season 4 chapters at that point), and Caitie’s friendship arc with Wun-Wun didn’t really become a thing until I started drafting Hardhome and went “Oh yikes, she’s probably gonna have issues with giants, isn’t she? I should probably acknowledge that,” and then things spiraled from there. I also tend to jump back and forth between scenes when drafting, so like, if I have any ideas for a much later scene, what I’ll do is open my drafts document where I basically just vomit words into blocks of text without paragraph breaks, and write the snippets there so I don’t forget them. Then whenever I get to the scene it belongs to, I can expand on whatever little bit I’d written down earlier. And honestly, half the time, I’ll start writing a scene and let it just go wherever it wants.

I do, however, write the final drafts of chapters ahead of where I’m posting. I usually try to be about 4-5 chapters ahead, although at the moment I’m closer to 7-8 because I really, really, really, wanted to get through season 7 as fast as possible so I blew through it. But if I had a time machine and could go back to 2020 to do it all over again, I probably would write everything out before posting. Because there are always things I think of later or change my mind about and waiting to post would have been a lot more convenient than editing afterwards.

TLDR; I vomit-draft whatever comes to mind, do the bare-bones of plotting by figuring out chapters (when I’m really stuck I will actually go and plot out the chapter on paper beat by beat), then write up a final draft that I spend way too much time editing. And I usually like to have at least 4 or 5 chapters finished (pre-edited, though) ahead of posting.

I hope this made sense! If you need any clarifications, let me know.

[ohheyitsokay]

just a day

welcome to the poly frontier? 

listen absolutely no shade to the other authors who write triple frontier poly fics (I got permission) I just wanted to try my take on what relationships with this group of guys would look like - and I honestly think my execution is going to look really really different. This one’s just for me to explore and start to develop the dynamics, so I really hope you all enjoy!

note: I’m going to say this is an 18+ series, sorry!

pairing: triple frontier guys - Will “Ironhead” Miller, Santiago “Pope” Garcia, Francisco (Frankie) “Catfish” Morales, and Ben “Benny” Miller x (f) reader

wordcount: 2k?

warnings: obviously a poly relationship, which includes kissing, domestic intimacy with all of them (not just with the reader, but not in-between Will and Ben because nope), mild sexual themes

another note: I will not be fetishizing male/male relationships, nor will I be including any romance or sexual between the brothers

>>

You wake up tucked into Will’s chest, his beard tickling your hairline like he fell asleep kissing it. Hand on his chest, you feel the steady rise and fall of it, slow and peaceful in the murky morning light. His arm is around your shoulder, half tangled in your hair, and there’s another arm tucked around your waist from behind - Santi's.

Pressing a kiss to Will’s collarbone, you gently begin the process of extracting yourself, apologizing with soft squeezes instead of words. Their hands find each others in their sleep, and you almost think you made it, for once, before Will’s blue eyes find yours for just a moment. It happens every morning – they need to know you’re okay. 

Verifying the time, he gives a bleary smile before rolling, free arm searching for a pillow to hold against his body in your place during the precious few minutes he has before he needs to get up, too. 

Frankie is in the kitchen already, and of all of them, he’s the best at hearing your quiet footsteps. His arms wrap around your frame, gathering you into him as he relishes the feeling of just you and him, for a moment.

Your nails run over his back, and he shudders at the feeling, smiling at you a little as the two of you pull things out of the fridge. It’s unreasonable, how many groceries you all go through, but feeding them is important to you, a love language in itself. Frankie was the first awake – his coffee is already brewing. In half an hour, give or take, Will and Santi will wander out, and the smells in the kitchen will change, but not yet.

For now, it’s dark roast coffee and there are quiet crunches of the apple you tossed into his broad palm. It’s not enough for the whole day so you tuck a breakfast bar into his work bag for later, with and extra jacket and a water bottle. There’s no need for notes, with him, the slow kisses he shares with you at the door are more than enough to bring him home to you in the evening. Before he can give up his time with you his hand slips under the shirt you’re wearing, just running over your bare side like he has all the time in the world. 

Then his hat is firmly on his head, and he brushes his rough thumb over your cheek, looks at the stairs to the bedroom with just a touch of longing, and slides out the door.

You’re mixing peanut butter into a premade jar of overnight oats when Will wraps his arms around you from behind, pressing his warm chest against your back. He’s tired – more than the others, and you let him borrow your strength for long moments. Santi watched from the doorway, giving them too you, his eyes fiercely affectionate, before he sandwiches Will between you half crushing you with their weight.

Laughter is a good way to start the day, even if it breaks the quiet. 

They bump into each other, happy, but silently arguing over who’s turn it is, before Santi relents and slips off to the shower. When you hand Will the jar, he kisses your temple before your mouth, and his hand is firm on your hip. He makes you eat with him, would make you pancakes if he had time, and asks what you’re working on today. His fingers flip the pen in his hand, but he’s too distracted by you to work through the paper like he did before. It’s new, all of you sharing the same space, and there are pros and cons. 

Then they trade places and Santi's body is damp and insistent as he kisses you, a little too needy for a man who has less than twenty minutes before he has to leave. You cant really deny him, though, indulging his touching while exploring him in turn, before pushing his distractingly bare chest away from you. He talks about his day a lot, considering it hasn’t happened yet, but his passion is contagious. He isn’t planning on telling you, but he fixed a bug on your laptop last night before he went to bed, and hid your favorite chocolate in your desk.

The kitchen smells like juice and granola now, and the ache of waking up is seeping out of your limbs.

When Benny comes out, you expect him to complain about the noise, but he doesn’t, just ruffles his hair and hugs Santi sleepily from behind.

His energy hasn’t quite built for the day, but he cant really sleep in like he wants to, and likes to see them off. He was restless last night, you could tell even with Santi between you on the bed, and you wonder if he relaxed at all. You give them space, retreating to get yourself ready and set up in your home office, pausing to send Will off with kisses and well wishes. When he forgets his timing and kissed down your neck, you hook your fingers in to his belt loops and he almost calls in sick.

It doesn’t happen, though, he’s too responsible without extra encouragement, and his eyes crinkle as he promises to continue, later.

Then it’s Santi and Benny’s turn, looking silly with the former prepared for tedious meetings and the other in his pajama's with a duffle bag, but that’s how it goes, sometimes. 

When Benny finishes at the gym, he finds you working away, lost in your music, and hovers at the door for awhile before his eagerness for you wins out. His hands are needy, but he doesn’t say words – his eyebrows speak for him and you nearly give in to his big, pleading eyes. 

He likes it when you run your hands through his hair, and you do, and press a promise into his cheek with your lips. You know today isn’t a day he wants to plan fights or check emails or update his socials, but he gets to it anyway, waiting for you, and needed to feel productive. They’re all too smart, beautifully, wonderfully overpowered with strength and mind and love and you know they cant help but direct it somewhere, Benny included.

As you finish your work for the morning your phone tells you the others are meeting up for lunch, and you thank them individually for the chance to give Ben a little extra attention.

Last night’s fight hadn’t gone great. The four of you had rallied behind him afterwards, patching him up while Santi yelled about justice and Frankie forced him to eat and drink, but now was time for something different. You were the center of this world they’d created, the one who’s undivided attention meant everything to them. 

Ben rarely wanted to talk about the pain, during, needed to punch it out at the gym or be soothed by Santi's validation before seeking you for heated, slightly painful kisses. Now, though, he’s frustrated with himself, and seeing it hurts in your chest like the cut across his skin.

You settle onto the huge bed in his corner, offering him your arms and a smile that soothes the throbbing in his bruises. This is a moment just for the two of you, and he takes full advantage, tucking his head onto the pillow of your chest and letting your hands wander his shoulders and hair and neck. Ben starts out ranting, but gets distracted along the way, soaking in your attention and the sliver of skin exposed on your stomach.

He kisses along the line, unable to resist half smiling at you as he licks it, almost losing himself to the temptation to go a round with you all on his own. They wouldn’t mind, really, but he doesn’t, just shifts back up to press your mouth against his. It’s slower and it’s nice for him not to have to be intense, with you.

The afternoon is spent quietly, both of you working diligently, knowing the others are doing the same, so you can cherish your precious free evening. You find a note from Frankie, a little inside joke that he knows will remind you of a story, and it makes you text him something that will make him laugh. 

At some point Santi calls you, frustrated, needing to verbal process, and the three of you on speaker phone navigate it with the gusto of heroes on a fantastical adventure. Will’s logic is absent with him, but you get the feeling it hardly matters, this time around. In truth, Ben is better at working the tightness out of Santi’s voice, and when you talk, you can hear him sigh like you’ve scrubbed a bit of darkness out of his day. 

When he gets home his mood is much improved and he picks Benny up with a grunt, spinning him around once, thick arms careful of the younger man’s sore spots. You get an equally soft kiss, and you smack him when he squeezes your ass, a glint in his eye.

There’s still a bit of shyness in Ben as he asks Pope to look over the videos from the fight, still a bit of awe and raw respect for the older man, and it makes you melt a little to see. The men are tentative sometimes, about the developments in their relationships with each other, but some things needn’t change. 

The couch is nice, a recent purchase, and you have a matching chair you like to settle in, mostly ignoring the distant voices and glancing out the window through the leaves of a large tree in the front yard. There’s a story on your phone you’ve been meaning to catch up on, and it’s peaceful, reading as the clouds float by.

There’s sounds of tires rolling over the gravel, and it makes you laugh when you open the door to see Ironhead and Catfish carrying no less than a small crate of take-out from Benny’s favorite Italian place. Unpacking it, Will spends more time invading your space, catching up, and flirting with you than Frankie does. He would never say it aloud, but he’s excited to see the reaction to their surprise.

He gets a perfect one – Benny yells when he smells it, and is jumping up and down, and the way Frankie’s chest puffs tells you it was his idea. Will gives you a squeeze and you know he’s proud, too, if for different reasons. He takes the moment of distraction, while the attention is on his brother, to slip his hand in your back pocket and kiss you without anyone noticing. If he had his way, he would yank you into the laundry room, but the idea of eating together keeps your feet planted and he sighs against your mouth. 

The boys eat like they’re starved, before they’re grabbing at you, coaxing you into the living room, and you’re beyond thankful there’s not really dishes to do. It’s not that they would make you do them, but it’s nice for all of you to be able to ride out the remarkably low-effort evening. 

Santi is insistent it’s his turn – the others have all had their time with you today, and only Will grumbles. They compromise, your legs over the later,  your side in the protective hallow of the formers chest. You choose a movie at random, knowing they’ll talk through it if you do. It’s nice, to listen to them banter from the cozy arms wrapped around you.

They get caught up talking about an old friend you’ve never met, and Frankie tries to explain things to you as they rapid-fire stories and bets on where he is now. You roll your eyes when you lose track again and again, but it’s full of joy, and he catches it before getting pulled into a ridiculous debate. 

Hands run over your calves, gently kneading, and you wonder if Will even knows he’s doing it – taking care of you is his second nature.

The film is finished but the talking hasn’t, now moved on to the inaccuracies in the movie as they try to outdo each other with random useless knowledge. There’s no real annoyance in their voices as they bite at each other, and you think that really, nothing has changed, and it’s good.

At some point you doze off.

There’s hushed arguing, and Frankie wins, scooping you into his sturdy arms and carrying you to bed. He likes the way you murmur your thanks, and his heart pounds as you sleepily pull off his hat and toss it somewhere. It makes him feel like you knew it was him, could feel it was, even in your mostly unconscious state. It’s a nice feeling, and he tucks it away in his mind, hoping to save it for if ever he get’s jealous. 

The sleeping arrangements are a mess – Will has tried multiple times to make cohesive charts, and none of them stick. It’s a tangle of limbs and everyone shifts depending on temperature and general neediness. Santi laments the choice of a movie over a long evening of unhurried lovemaking, and receives and smack on the stomach in return. It makes you wake, halfway, and when your arms reach for him, he forgets his previous complaints.

They settle at their own pace, quiet conversations floating in and out of your dreams, and the sounds of teeth being brushed and plans being made make you smile. Tomorrow maybe, you’ll be up without a thought, awake and talking or kissing with whoever else didn’t need as much sleep, but for now, you didn’t mind. It was just day, with many before and many to come.

>>

taglist:

@fangirl-316 @scribbledghost @writeforfandoms @beautyagegoodnesssize @princess76179 @mrsbentallmadge

[yoonieboonie]

The Substitute Lover (4)

word count: 3k (longest one yet)

genre: fluff, angst hehe

pairing: myg x reader

summary: Finally meeting the college boy you’ve been eyeing on for months, everything goes wrong when you realise what you’re really getting yourself into.

a/n: this is part 4!!! Thank you to hat one Anon that gave me a review on the last chapter :< it really made my heart swell. I hope I’m doing this fic justice because in my head, there are countless of possibilities for this story! If you can, please please please leave me a feedback after reading this chapter. Can you also let me know if you prefer weekend or weekday updates? :> Thank you!!!!

NEXT | PREVIOUS

Yoongi zoomed home to pick up his car. He didn't bother dropping the call, his constant whispers of reassurance ringing through the phone.

"You're going to be alright, I'm coming." He assured. No response was heard on the other line, the only indication that she was still there were soft and steady breathes, enough to make Yoongi weak in the knees. It took everything in him not to floor the gas and attend to her faster. Traffic was almost nonexistent in the wee hours of the night but he wanted to get to her already.

He arrives to his destination and parks. Not bothering to do it properly, at that. He blindly reaches under the pot of plant for a spare key. He entered the apartment, heading straight to her room, only to find her curled up in her bed. Staring into space, not bothering to acknowledge his existence but spoke into the air.

"Took you look enough, Yoongs." Yoongi felt his heart swell at the nickname that left her lips. If there was any confusion as to why he went to the park with you, it was gone now. In his head, there was only one thing sure and one thing only.

It's her.

He took a good look at her, drinking her in. Floods of memories rushing back, making his head spin.

"You know, if you do this more often," he trails off. "You're just proving that you can't really live without me."

The voice has a teasing tone to it but they both knew the gravity it held. She shook her head playfully and motioned for him to come near. He obliged, missing the feeling of her touch. He ran his hand through his hair as he walked near her.

The moment he reached the foot of her bed, she reached out to him. Yoongi lay down, hugging her to his chest. She let her head rest on it, feeling slow and steady heartbeats. She recalls how often she found herself in this position with him. He was her safe place, no one can change that.

"I heard from Mijin that you found a girl to match your stubbornness." she mumbled, tracing circles on Yoongi's arm. He made a sound of denial. Somehow, he didn't think she would have heard of it that quickly, and to be frank, he didn't think she would care.

Yoongi, however, did care. He didn't want her to find out. He huffed as he figured out that it must be her little sister that told her. He started to stroke her hair as he spoke gently.

"Jagi, you know I'd never replace you." He assured.

"It's you and it'll only be you. You know that." She hummed in appreciation and snuggled closer to Yoongi. She knew that. Everything Yoongi was not, she was able to change. Like ice in a hot summer's day, she melted the cold man that is Min Yoongi.

Regardless of how things ended between them, Yoongi feels grateful that she made him come out of his shell. He was no one without her, or so Yoongi thinks.

She feels herself letting go and slowly falling into slumber. Yoongi made sure she's comfortable, hovering the blanket over to her sleeping form and cuddling her closer. He sigh, he shouldn't have went to the theme park. He shouldn't have taken you to get those stupid pink pair of bunny ears. He shouldn't have bought you matching sweaters. An ugly feeling was blooming in his chest, feeling like he cheated on her. He vowed to himself that he would never do it again.

You sure were a breath of fresh air, with your huge glasses and the green cardigan you loved so much. He noticed that you were smart, too. Always carrying a book in hand whenever you have lunch with the trio. Not that he paid attention but he commends how committed you are and dedicated to your studies. No matter how he denies it, you are the type of person who leaves a mark. He's seen it with his two friends, always contacting you for lunch and study groups. Both have seemed to form a liking to you.

He let himself think that if you didn't like him in that way, would you two be friends as well? He did enjoy your time in the park, he didn't even thought of her the whole time. This scared him. He was terrified that with you, he forgets.

He should never, ever forget.

So that whole night, Yoongi tried to convince himself that he regrets spending the day with you. However, there's this voice inside his head countering this. Deep down, he enjoyed himself too. He can still remember the way your eyes sparkled the whole day, beaming at every sight you see. This made him smile to himself.

He shook these thoughts away. He belongs to her. No one, he would let absolutely no one to take his attention away from her. No one deserves him but her.

Deciding to stop overthinking for the night, he snoozed off to dreamland.

-------------

"Yoongi." a voice awoke him.

"What is your dumbass doing here?" Mijin hissed.

"Where's Eujin?" Yoongi asked, trying to focus his blurry sight. Mijin sighed and sat down on the bed. She liked Yoongi, yes. But every decent human being would be concerned if someone was being used for convenience. That was what her older sister was doing to Yoongi.

"I asked you a question." She repeats. "You were doing so well. Why did you let her wrap her hands around your neck again?"

The statement made Yoongi's blood boil. She wasn't using him. She was under no obligation to reciprocate whatever Yoongi was giving her. The negative image that was painted of her isn't true, Yoongi thought.

"Where is she?" He groggily asked ignoring her question completely. With a defeated sigh, Mijin pointed to their kitchen and exited the room for Yoongi to freshen up.

"Is he awake?"

The voice made Yoongi stop in his tracks to hide behind the wall next to the kitchen. He decided to let the two sisters talk first without intervening.

"Eujin, why did you call him out here? I thought you made it clear to him that you were no longer interested?"

"I know." Eujin sighed. "But since I heard about the girl who asked him out on a date, I got curious." she dragged out.

This made Yoongi's heart leap with joy. His hands reached up to feel his necklace, the ring he gave Eujin as the pendant. He recalled how he lashed out at you when you asked about it. She returned it to him when she called things off. Yoongi has worn it around his neck ever since.

Finally hearing enough, Yoongi stepped in the kitchen, faking a smile. He looked at Eujin, who is eating beside Mijin.

"Nice shirt." Mijin compliments. Yoongi's hand flies up to rub his nape. Due to the urgency to rush there, he didn't bother changing last night. He ignored it and sat on Eujin's other side. The moment he did, she lays her head on his shoulder and looks at his chest. She sighed in relief when she spotted the ring.

It's still her. She still has him.

"Tell me, Yoongs. Is that from your date?" She asks.

Yoongi wanted to deny it. He wanted to say no. Instead, he nodded meekly, his hand holding onto Eujin's.

"It's not a date. I just want the bet to be down and over with." He desperately explained.

"It's okay, Yoongs." She offers a smile. "I don't really mind."

That stings. Yoongi winced internally at how genuine she sounds, hearing that made his heart drop to his stomach. He had hoped that Eujin would at least be concerned with who he was seeing, because he would surely lose his mind if she dated someone else.

That's how much he liked her.

Mijin stood up, tired of the conversation already. She muttered something about leaving early for school and with that stalked to the front door and left.

As soon as the door closed, Yoongi faced Eujin with so much sincerity swimming in his eyes. He looked at her lips, how it beat every ruby in existence with how the red painted them all over. Her nose pointed at the tip but just rounded enough to pass as a button, up to her eyes that light up the whole room. The ones that make Yoongi weak all over.

"What do you want me to do, Jagi? Tell me and I'll do it."

She shook her head. Despite her reassurance, Yoongi didn't believe that she was alright with how he stupidly went on the date. He wished he could turn back time.

"Do you want me to never see her again?" He pleads. "Tell me, Jagi. I'll do anything."

She shook her head but felt water brimming in her eyes. Truth to be told, she was scared. Never once did she feel threatened by anything when it comes to him. She watched him reject every advances made to him, even by her own sister. So when she heard that he agreed to this one specific date, it terrified her.

Yoongi instantly panicked upon seeing her cry. He stood up and hugged her as close as he possibly can. She clutched onto him until it can no longer be identified where one body starts and the other ends. They both knew that it was hopeless, they have tried multiple times to fix what was broken but they both know they would try again.

--------------------------------

That morning, both of them had class and Yoongi waited for Eujin to gather her things. She was carrying her management book and surveys for her upcoming business plan. She was a Business Administration major like you. Little do you know that it was the reason Yoongi held onto the necklace that day at the park. You and Eujin have so much in common; it couldn’t pass as coincidental to him.

Yoongi and Eujin held hands as he drove to the campus, at every stoplight he looks over her. His eyes turning into crescents as he smiles at everything she says. He was at awe with how good she looks on his passenger's seat. He didn't think he would see her seated on it again. But here she was, in the flesh.

After arriving at the campus, Yoongi had to go to the dorm to change and get ready for classes. She on the other hand is preparing to head to her professor for coaching. Together, they spot Namjoon looking at their intertwined hands.

Namjoon mumbled something to Hoseok who has his back turned on them. He looked over and his eyes trailed at Yoongi and Eujin's hands. He didn't bother hiding the scowl that formed on his face.

Hoseok abruptly stood up to leave, making Namjoon sigh and give Yoongi a disapproving look. They both thought this was over but they were apparently wrong. Yoongi squeezed Eujin's hand in assurance. He doesn't care at this point. It may be them versus the world and he wouldn't give a fuck.

"Jagi, call me after this. Please." Yoongi said, before bidding goodbye. Eujin nodded and headed inside.

Yoongi turned and headed to class where he has to face his two best buds that clearly weren’t impressed by his decisions.

He stopped by a vending machine, buying two sprites. He knew Hoseok couldn't say no to him. He just has to apologise and fix the rift between them.

As he entered the room, Yoongi's eyes searched for Hoseok's bright orange hair. He quickly beeline to them and placed the cans of soda as an apology. He squeezed himself in the middle of the two and mumbled a "sorry" sheepishly. He heard Namjoon open the can and took this as him accepting the apology.

"You made her come home wet and alone. It was freezing outside, Yoongi. I never pegged you to be this much of an asshole." This made Yoongi freeze up. It didn't cross his mind to take you home last night. His head was too clouded to even think about that. All he knew was to get to her immediately.

"Hoba," Yoongi trailed. "You know I never wanted to go in the first place. Why are you getting upset with me?"

"She's I and Namjoon's friend, Yoongi. If you cannot find it in you to be concerned with her, we do. Last time I talked to her, she sounded sick." Namjoon held Hoseok by the shoulder, trying to get him to stop.

"Hoba's just worried Yoongi." Namjoon explained. "Y/N hasn't picked up her phone and didn't go to her classes today."

Yoongi was taken aback by that but didn't show it. He shouldn't be concerned. You were no one to him. If merely being seen with you will make Eujin uncomfortable, he was willing to avoid you like the plague.

"Eujin needed me last night. I couldn't just say no."

Hoseok's eyes darted to Yoongi's necklace; it no longer held the ring. Instead it was now worn on his ring finger, confirming that they had indeed gotten back together.

"Whatever." Hoseok scoffed, not bothering to open the Sprite that Yoongi has gotten for him.

------------------------------------

You felt like absolute and utter shit. All over.

The moment you opened your eyes, you feel yourself burning as if you're in a furnace. You tried to reach out to your bedside table to get a thermometer and groggily held one to your ear. The moment it beeped, you already know that you are indeed burning with fever.

It must be the weather, you thought. Standing up, you went to the bathroom to get a paracetamol from your medicine cabinet. You fetched yourself a glass of water and gulped it away. You despised taking medicine but you had no choice, it was this or skipping today's lectures. It cannot be the latter since you already missed yesterday's.

Yesterday.

You sigh as you prepare the day. You remember how delicately Yoongi called the person on the other line "Jagi" or how he constantly reassured her that he was coming. To be honest, you didn't even think Yoongi was capable of being comforting and warm but the Yoongi you saw last night was, and sadly, it wasn't for you.

You shook the thought away and attend to your phone, you realised that you haven't responded to Hoseok or Namjoon. You got a call from Hoseok yesterday asking about the date and you told him that you are walking home and would call him after. However due to exhaustion, you fell asleep right after showering.

Glancing at the pink bunny ears at your vanity, you took out the picture from the waterpark and placed it next to it. Yoongi might not care about the date and was seeing another but you didn't care. You'd like to cherish the date as much as you can.

"First and last date." you whispered. "At least it was a good one."

You didn't bother texting Hoseok back, thinking that you'll see them later for lunch. Still feeling a bit under the weather, you went on your usual way to the campus.

You attended class per usual, not bothering to register the information given by the professor. You decided to go home after this, you can feel your fever getting worse and you're getting dizzier by the moment. You stalked to the restroom and went in to wash your face.

The moment the cold water hits your face was a relief. The burning feeling in your face is momentarily gone; you lift your hand up to feel your forehead when a voice spoke beside you.

"Hey, are you okay?" You glanced at her in the reflection of the mirror. You examine her face, she was ethereal. Every angle looks divine and sculpted by the gods. You have to look away because you found yourself staring.

"Yeah, just feeling a bit under the weather." You replied.

"I'm headed to the cafeteria, come with me. Get something to eat before taking a medicine." She offered.

Thinking about how Namjoon and Hoseok might be there, you agreed. Both of you exited the restroom and stalked to the cafeteria.

Students are scattered around making it difficult to spot Hoseok and Namjoon. After a little looking around, you spot them and waved your hand.

Hoseok looked relieved to see you alive and breathing while Namjoon just smiled at your direction. You noticed that Yoongi was nowhere to be seen. You guess he was still with her.

You shook your head. It was none of your business, like he said. All you need to do is focus on your studies and try to make the most out of university with your new friends.

Just before Hoseok and Namjoon reach your table, your new friend's phone began to ring. She stood up and answered it, leaving you alone at the table.

"Y/N," Hoseok breathed. "Are you okay? I thought you were sick." he pouted.

You offered a smile and nodded. Meeting the trio was a blessing. Hoseok was a great friend, same goes for Namjoon.

"Why did you come to school?" Namjoon asked, clearly disapproving that you chose school over health.

"Shush, you guys. I'm alright!" you laugh at Hoseok, still upset at your attendance.

Hoseok was about to speak again when a voice interrupted him.

"Hey, let's get something to eat so you can take your medicine." your new friend, who you've forgotten to take the name of, offered.

Namjoon blinked back in shock calling her name while Hoseok sarcastically smirked on the side.

"Eujin?!"

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[synnefo-nefeli]

Hello!! Just wanted to say I just re read Heard Your Heart Beating for like... The fifth time, probably?? And now that I know ur tumblr, I just wanted to say. Its probably one of my fav Klapollo fics. I LOVE your characterization in it. Especially Apollo's, in which he gets flustered and provoked quite easily but he can also get super sassy and bitchy lmao. And I love his and Klavier's friendship? It makes me so happy to see fics where their pre-relationship is explored. I love seeing romantic interactions but it's also SUPER nice to see them just being... Platonic and hanging out together and supporting each other and being friends!! I mean relationships are founded upon friendships so it's really cute to read about them before they get all romantic too. I loved reading about their Valentine's Day hangout at Apollo's house. It's just... So chill. Even though you touched on the big Kristoph issue, it is also lighthearted at times. It was really nice to see Kristoph being addressed but it not being the whole point of their 'date'. And their banter...... Omg.... Especially Klavier's highkey flirting LMAOOO ITS SO FUNNY TO READDD!!! And Trucy omg.... I love the inclusion of her because of course she needs to be included. Love her. Anyways thank you so much for writing it!!! I don't want to, like, unknowingly pressure you into continuing or anything though!!! I just wanted to share my thoughts! I know how hard it can get continuing a fic when you have real life obligations lol. Anyways I will be suppperr happy if you do but even if you don't! I am still so glad you wrote the chapters so far. PHEW THATS IT. HOPE YOU HAVE A GREAT DAY

Anon, I am just dead from this comment.  When I read this, I wanted to cry because I am just so touched and humbled.

“Heard Your Heart Beating” has such a special place in my heart and I am sorry that it takes me 5ever to write in general that the updates to it are slow. Never did I think that a story I came up with nearly seven years ago (lsdkfmslkfdm) would take me this long to write but also I like taking my time with it, as I’ve never ever written a slow-burn fic.

I love Klapollo so much, and I just want to do them justice (haha), because there is so much there between them as characters.  They’re two characters bound by tragic events but, they’re both forthright individuals who have a lot of external factors (good and bad) impacting their relationship.

AA5 was such a great game and full of emotion, but there was a lot to read in between the lines-  Apollo had suffered a personal tragedy in losing Clay, and his introduction as an attorney had been fraught with betrayal and a lot of fighting against the odds, then he nearly has to accuse Athena for Clay’s murder...and it was just a lot for him.  

As for Klavier, the year prior had left him with the truth that he’d been used and betrayed by his brother and his best friend...and then as he’s picking the pieces of his life together, transitioning from the rocker life that was his way of life/protection from Kristoph for 7 years, his mentor is murdered.  Klavier is a genius prosecutor, he most likely advanced early through Themis, changed his career path, graduated, got his badge, and then his debut is just a mess.  Apollo brought him back to the courts but Klavier, it seemed at least to me in DD, was still trying to figure out where he fit in.  

Constance Court’s impact on Klavier is a big part of Heard Your Heart Beating and will be explored in later chapters.

But yeah I liked the idea of these two coming together organically- they’re both highly empathetic people, so there is common ground there.  Klavier knows that Apollo has seen the Kristoph that Klavier once knew and admired. It’s easy to paint Kristoph as a monster, but when you look at how Apollo and Klavier speak of him (before the murders obvs) you can tell that all they both wanted was to make Kristoph proud.  And I also wanted to explore those human moments with Kristoph too.  Yes, he’s an asshole- but he was someone that Apollo and Klavier looked up to.  So that betrayal and grief is something they can both share, and while Daryan is still alive, Klavier’s friendship with him died metaphorically. But the hurt and pain of not having that friendship, not having that person you love platonically in your life for the rest of your life- is a death unto itself not unlike Apollo’s pain and grief over losing Clay. 

They strike me as two people who are just looking for safety, and they both recognize (Klavier more quickly than Apollo, although I feel it’s subconscious on Apollo’s part) that they can have that safety with each other.   This theme is reflected in the title.  It’s from the song “Cosmic Love” by Florence + The Machine.

“Then I heard your heart beating, you were in the darkness too So I stayed in the darkness with you “

When I heard this song while writing the opening drafts of this story, I felt that this song summed up Apollo and Klavier in this story-  they’re both in personal darkness that no one else seems to understand, but when they recognize that the other is in that same darkness- they reach out, even if it means remaining in that grief and sadness, there is comfort in knowing that you’re understood and not alone.

Oof that was a tangent hahaha.

The Valentine’s Day scene was one of my favorite scenes to write. It comes from such a personal moment between the comfort I’ve found with my own friends during a time where I was trying to get my footing in life.  Also, not to side note again, but this fic is actually pretty personal- I’ve never really put my own personal experiences or feelings into a story to the extent that I have in this fic. The opening chapter was written during a time when I thought I was losing my best friend- I had commiserated a lot with Apollo while playing DD- I cried while writing it and I still cry when I read it because it is so intrinsically tied to that time of grief and a feeling that the universe was taking my friend away from me.

So the Valentine’s Day scene was meant to be a scene of comfort and banter- two friends, just hanging out together rather than being alone on “Singles Awareness Day”.  I love that everyone had an expectation of where I was going with that scene.  Especially when alcohol was introduced and then it ended up with them being in Apollo’s bed XD.  It amuses me that their first time ever sharing a bed together would be under the most platonic of circumstances XD.

Anyway, thank you so much anon for the lovely comment- it definitely made my day and made me look over my drafts for this story :)  Maybe an update will come soon!

Have a good day!

[giurochedadomani]

Fic-in-progress type of update that has gotten a tiny, little bit out of hand but I regret nothing and I really want to share it

I’m doing the third and final part of this. 

When I do get to finish this I feel like it’ll work just fine as a one shot, but. Just to give you some context: this scene of the story takes place after a botched plan ends up with the son of a rival capo dead at the hands of? Leonardo? I never bothered to write out what exactly happened on That Fateful Night and now I’m taking 100% advantage of that.  

The thing is, the other mafioso certainly blames him. When Primo manages to keep Leo out of jail by putting the blame of the murder on the son of the town’s mayor, their rival decides to take justice into his own hands, failing to consider how little Primo is likely to stop until he owns the city and ends with every kind of threat vaguely pointed in his direction, Leo’s or this family he has adopted himself into. Enter: 

[Gioia Tauro, Saturday night] 

Uhhhhh there are things I can tag for: mentions of abuse re: Primo’s childhood, discussions of murder and other Mob related stuff, but there are other things that I can’t really tag without spoiling away what happens,  so I’m gonna highlight that this story is basically about a mob war and that violent stuff happens and use the handy ao3 sign of ‘Author decided not to display any warnings’

“Do you want me to tell you, or not?”

“I don’t know, you seem to be doing quite well on your own”. 

It comes off way drier than Leonardo means to, and the without me goes over them, unspoken. He bites the tip of his tongue and stands his ground and tries not to picture the hint of hurt that passes over Primo’s face as Leonardo goes through his business, picking up his suit’s jacket and the briefcase from the sofa as the other looks at him like some kind of gargoyle while he fusses through the office. 

“A bomb. In his office”, Primo explains, slow, after a moment, blatantly ignoring him. “Next week, we’re aiming for Friday, although Fiore needs to tie up some loose ends”. A beat of silence. “I insisted on it being Friday. Less people in the building that day, like you said”. Leonardo won’t give in to Primo’s unsubtle attempts to win him over. “I was going to tell you”. 

He gives the other a sharp look. What he means to be a sharp look, really. It’s kind of endearing that Primo cannot withstand a grand total of half a minute of silence treatment. No, Leonardo’s still pissed that he didn’t call him into the meeting. 

“What loose ends?”, he asks, tone clipped.  

“ID passes. He wants to get a couple of original ones”, rob some innocent cleaning lady of her own pass, more likely, Leonardo thinks, as if he were in some shape or form morally superior to that, “and just modify the photos, keeping it simple. He can’t do that a week earlier, it’d be...”, Primo trails off, looking at him with a tinge of— 

It’d be less likely to call on any unwanted attention, that’s for sure. And truth be told, they’ve never been lucky with forgeries. It’s not as if they’re trying to enter the fucking Quirinale, and one would think that a sleepy guard on a Friday morning wouldn’t pay much attention to some cleaning staff’s passes, but it doesn’t hurt to be a little bit extra cautious: Romano has proven himself to be able to become quite the headache. And he can’t help feeling a little satisfied at how Primo is not diving head first into danger for once in his fucking life— no. He’s annoyed.

Leonardo hums, pensive. He locks the door of his office after they step outside, and speaks again once he finds another direction in which to funnel his irritation. 

“What’s their story, if they’ve got to flee the scene”.

Primo frowns. His patent confusion vindicates Leonardo, for some fucking reason. He focuses on that instead on how much it pisses him off that he already knows that Primo will avoid simply saying that he’s sorry, as if the words were fucking poisonous. 

“They don’t manage to do it, what do they do”, he insists.  

The eerie stillness of the building, empty at that hour, just makes Primo’s silence louder as they walk to the elevator. 

“Why, if someone had thought to ask just that”, Leonardo concludes, sarcastic, stabbing the push button. 

Primo huffs. He can behave like a child all he wants, Leonardo is not going to give in. He’s fully capable of becoming as difficult as Primo can be, when he puts his mind to it. Let’s see if the other can take his own medicine—  

“Her name’s Lucrezia”. 

…

Leonardo is so thrown off by the non sequitur that he almost manages to momentary forget about his exasperation. He stares at Primo for a long moment, the doors of the elevator opening and staying open for them. “...She’s one of his classmates”, Primo adds, as if that clarified anything. 

Leonardo’s bewilderment must be patent on his face because Primo makes a whole show of rolling his eyes, looking up as if asking God for patience. He grabs him and pushes him inside the elevator, pushing the button to the ground floor. 

“Francesco”, he starts again, slowly, once the doors close off again. He’s probably aiming to be more comprehensible, but doesn’t manage to make it look as if he’s not in some way explaining things to a baby. “He’s not out there doing…”, he has to think for a moment to land in something Leonardo could possibly be pissed off about, and he’s not entirely convinced when he says: “...Drugs, or whatever the hell you’re worried about. He’s just got himself a...”, he trails off again, does a florid gesture with his hand as if he could grab the right word, ends up saying a very dubitative: “... friend”. He shrugs, as if deeming it a suitable enough explanation. “So yeah. You can stop being insufferable now”. 

Each button keeps getting illuminated as they descend, a little peep sounding each time they pass a floor. So that’s what was up with them both. Leonardo feels tranquility washing over his surprise, before his gut settles on uneasiness as he continues looking at Primo and the stiffness of his shoulders. 

He passes a hand over his face. 

“Francesco’s got a girlfriend”. 

“You’re not this dense on the usual”. 

“And he told you about it”. 

He’s well aware that Franceso regards Primo with an undercurrent of hero worship. He’s also intimately familiar with how despite the fact that Primo is a man of many hidden talents, romance is, to put it mildly, not the subject he feels most comfortable with. The other is fucking with him in some way, he can’t help feeling sure of that, and it makes him kind of tense not being able to point out exactly where. 

Uncharacteristically of him, Primo feels the need to fill the silence. 

“Don’t be jealous”, he starts once the doors open, and he sounds a tad arrogant, as he always does when— “I told him to do a formal presentation at some point, bring her home to have dinner and all that stuff, let Regina gush and… yeah”. He turns to face Leonardo once he realizes that he has stopped on his tracks, adds, defensively: “You have been weird all fucking day. That’s why I didn’t tell you to come into the meeting”. 

“Lucrezia”, Leonardo repeats. The name sounds familiar. It’s Primo’s closed off expression what makes realization fall onto his mind like a circuit breaker blowing up the fuse: a scratching sound and then fade to black. He stares at Primo in disbelief, mouth hanging open until he can work around the knot at his throat. 

“Brambilla. Lucrezia Brambilla. Brambilla, as in. The daughter of the—”. 

“Yes”. 

A well-mannered girl, soft spoken and sweet. He has seen her in passing, disappearing behind the tinted windows of his father’s fancy car at the entrance of Francesco’s high school. He knows her father better. Sergio Brambilla.

Prosecutor. 

“And you told him it was a good idea?”, Leonardo asks, in which he’d defend as a very reasonable tone of voice, given the circumstances, but doesn’t perhaps quite manage to hit the whole discreet thing, because Primo makes a sharp movement in the general direction of the night guard booth.

“What’s exactly bad about knowing what the fuck happens in that house?”

Of course. Of fucking course Primo would think it’s a good idea. He doesn’t even know why he’s surprised except that for the very little, trivial fact that he cannot believe what he’s hearing!

“You had a hand on it!?”

Primo has the sheer audacity to look offended. 

“Me? In what? How the fuck could I possibly— As if it were my fucking fault now that your kid likes blondes!” 

“I swear on everything that’s holy, Primo!”

Primo throws a look to the booth over his shoulder, then at him, then promptly grabs his arm and pushes him forward, making him advance towards the garage entrance, past the night guard, who takes a look at them and searches to fade with the wallpaper behind. He loves Primo, God damn them both, he does, but sometimes he’d hit him with a fucking chair, but also no, because someone’s got to keep a levelled head and he refuses to go down the level of a machiavelian, manipulative jerk who deems feasible to intervene in his son’s life like— 

“Shut up for a fucking minute, will you”, Primo says, which is fucking rich. Leonardo shoves him off the moment they’re passing the first row of cars, the itch of a fight bubbling right under his skin. Primo doesn’t continue after seemingly making sure that he’s going to listen. He takes a deep breath before doing so, evidently to rile himself in, which would be the most annoyingly petulant thing in the world if he were any other person. “He took a liking to the girl on his own. They’re classmates, as I said. They’ve been friends since the start of the year, and now, well”, he shrugs, ostensibly. “She’s also going to study in Rome, it seems”. 

It hurts. The fact that not only did Primo know before him about it, but that he has done so for such a very long time. 

“And you planned to tell me when, exactly?”, Leonardo can’t help but to interrupt.

Primo copies his sarcastic tone when he answers: “When you’ve decided to make a problem out of it, perhaps?” 

He knows in his heart that Primo trusts him, and that he does so seemingly to a further extent than anyone else. That he loves him, in his own peculiar way, and that he’d move heaven and Earth to protect him, and his family. That’s why it’s so hard to wrap his mind around the fact that he wouldn’t even bother to mention something like this. Besides, the careless way he’s speaking about it doesn’t really sit well with Leonardo. As if he had landed himself had single handedly on court when he came to know the girl’s father: “You remember that Brambilla accused me of murder, don’t you?” 

“You were acquitted”, the other replies, instantly, tone tense. “You’re a model citizen, for all the guy knows”.  

“He defended that I’m a mafioso”, he insists. He remembers the charges line by fateful line. Refusing to talk about it won’t make him forget what happened, notwithstanding Primo’s look on the subject. “He said that I planned to set up a cocaine distribution ring with the money I supposedly stole from—”. 

“Nothing about them getting together forces you to have a good relationship with Brambilla”, Primo points out, exasperated, as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “It’s Francesco the one who’s dating his daughter”. 

Leonardo limits himself to stare at the other from the other side of his Berlinetta when they reach it.  

He should have confronted Francesco directly about it, but no, because the kid’s got an angelic face of never having done harm to a fly and he’s soft. Regina has a sixth sense for these things, she would have been a better option, except that he feared that Francesco would have gotten himself in bigger problems than a girl. It’s not a girl, though, not just like that, and really, there’s probably an option that he has somehow missed that would have prevented him from ending up in a parking lot, being looked at as if he’s hawk’s prey. 

He sighs, opens the car and gets in, going through the usual motions as Primo follows him suit, putting the briefcase on the backseat, his jacket covering it after he fishes out his keys from one of the pockets. 

Francesco could easily say the wrong thing, in the wrong moment, to the wrong person, and neither of them would be none the wiser. He could rat them out in a bid to brag, or because he thinks that he can relax his guard. What if he breaks the poor girl’s heart and she wants to take revenge? He remembers how stupid young love can make you, how blind. 

“Telling Francesco that he can’t do it won’t work”, Primo says, serious, but not quite as biting. “You’ll just be handing him over the perfect excuse for him not to tell you shit in the future”. 

Leonardo wonders if it’s the girl sticking it to her father what appeals to Primo so much about the whole thing, he supposes the other could appreciate a kindred spirit. It’s obvious that he’s talking from experience, and Leonardo doesn’t know if he feels more insulted by the possibility that Primo might be comparing him to Salvatore, of all people, or to Primo’s own dad, of all fucking people, as if he had ever given the slightest indication that he’d beat— That he’d— Just considering the idea that he might have to explain to the other that not every son has quite the same relationship with their father as Primo did with Angelo Nizzuto makes him kind of nauseous. 

Primo must sense where his mind’s heading because he ends up adding: “Doesn’t matter if you’re nice about it, but you can be my damn fucking guest if you want to try”. He shrugs, then looks out of the window, as if he were washing his hands out of the situation instead of biding his time, as Leonardo is completely convinced he’s doing. 

This is a lost battle, if Primo has already taken such a defensive stance on the subject. He’s got months on him, despite all (“They’ve been friends since the start of the year, and now, well”), more than enough time for him to look at Francesco and Lucrezia from every possible angle and to collect every single argument in favor of their relationship before quick starting a confrontation with him. And really, he’s just so blind sided by the whole thing. He must be a really bad father not to suspect a thing for months.  

Leonardo puts the ignition key on, but Primo speaks again before he turns it. 

“I’ve just told him to be smart, to pay attention, and not to run himself into problems” he insists, softer. “Your kid can do that. You know he can. Besides, I’m keeping an eye on him”, he turns to face him, “You can at least trust that, don’t you?” 

That’s very unfair of Primo. It’s not a question of trust. Francesco’s a very inexperienced hot head. He’d be up to his knees in problems before he recognizes the first signs of danger, let alone ask for help. 

“He’ll tell me himself if he does fuck up, you can be sure of that. Holy hell, he just won’t stop talking about the girl, you know? Lulu this, Lulu that”, Primo continues, as if he knew full well that he’s picking at his reticences little by little. Leonardo’s running out of excuses not to associate the pang in his chest with the notion that he’s been kept outside this little secret. “He calls her Lulu”, Primo explains, seemingly flabbergasted at the notion, which is very boldly rich coming from him, and kind of makes Leonardo want to ask him what exactly makes Lulu any more ridiculous of a nickname than Leo. 

He snorts, despite himself.  

Primo smiles a little when he sees him doing so, as if he’s just proved his point. It’d be so annoying, if it wasn’t so genuine.  

“Better to wait the whole thing out. Let him go to Rome. There are more options in Rome. He’ll just grow bored, with time”. Leonardo raises an eyebrow. Primo’s smile takes the barest turn to playful. He deadpans: “Worse case scenario, they do end up getting married and we need to find you a proper suit to wear. You look hot with a suit. I don’t see a downside of the situation for anyone involved”. 

Just like that. As if it were so easy. 

He’d like to have a smidge of Primo’s unwavering faith in their future, of his unstoppable conviction that they’ll always come up on top, though he’s reduced to trust that the other knows what he’s doing and join for the ride. 

Leonardo’s done so many bad things in his life, this is surely his God given punishment. 

“When I told you to solve this I didn’t mean, like, personally”, Primo interrupts his train of thought making a vague gesture towards the backseat. “We’ve got people for that. You keep insisting on that: a good boss knows when to delegate”, he adds, in which Leonardo’s forced to interpret as his attempt to mock him. It’s very unfair, given how different is delivering the suitcase from when he told Primo that, that is, when he had to keep him in bed after getting shot, but he knows where Primo’s going with this. He knows this kind of dance. 

He looks at him and keeps silent, so Primo’s forced to elaborate. If he wants to have dinner with him, he can just ask. Primo purses his lips, frowns a little, but finally says, slowly: 

“I have an idea. That I want your opinion on”, then he stops for a moment, seemingly to revise what he’s going to say, and adds: “That we could discuss, with wine”. 

“You want to have dinner at the Olimpo, then?”, he insists, just to hear Primo say it, and not be the slightest bit surprised when he ignores him. 

“It’s got to do with your cousin. Does he still want to work for us?”

“Antonio? Yes”. 

“How fluent would you say that he’s in Spanish?” 

Leonardo takes the ignition key out. 

___

An hour later, Dante would finish his cigarette under the street light by the back entrance of the office. He would take a quick look at his watch, and he would get into the car after checking the backseat, adjusting the jacket slightly over the suitcase. If he came back soon enough, he could have dinner with his girlfriend, he’d think, fishing for Leonardo’s car keys in his pocket. Maybe he could take her out next weekend, treat her to somewhere posh by the port. He’d turn the ignition key on. 

…

KA-BOOM!!!!!

[i-dont-want-your-hysteria]

a message.

This whole post is full of things I’ve wanted to say for a very long time. So yes, this is going to be very long.

Before I begin, I just wanted to say I’m sorry to the innocent people who had nothing to do with this. I’ve never ever been involved with online/fandom drama before, I hate being in this position so fucking much with all my heart and soul, and I never thought in my whole life that I’d be in this position, either.

Secondly, this is about the DEF LEPPARD FANDOM ON TUMBLR. If you’re not part of this fandom, kindly fuck off :^) This is not about you.

This post explains why I feel this way. And to those innocent people who aren’t involved with this, I’m sincerely sorry if any of this has changed your opinions of me.

I’m in a mood and a half, so I’ll do my best to effectively tell everything from my perspective. Read if you want, but this is just what I’m thinking.

I’ve been running this blog for almost three years now. When I first joined this fandom on tumblr at the beginning of 2018, there wasn’t really a ‘fandom’ per se; all the main blogs were dead, no one ever really posted, and there wasn’t much content. I decided to start a DL blog of my own to vent my love into it and not spam my main account. 

Within a month, I could quickly see that some sort of renaissance was happening in this fandom; more blogs were popping up, more people were posting, and more people were just participating in general. There were memes now, there were conversations now- it was great! There was a real community; it was all about sharing information, spewing our love, getting creative, and interacting! 

There was integrity, and there was respect for the band as well as one another.

I, as part of this community, wanted to do everything in my physical power to contribute in any way I could. I was insanely active and hyper-productive and could not be stopped. I still haven’t stopped, but I certainly have slowed down significantly (due to lack of new activity from the band and increased mental health issues I won’t get into). I don’t want to be self-centered and say that I was “running” this branch of the fandom for the past 2.7 years, but I was certainly a big player in it, and I feel everyone agreed (and some still agree) with that as well.

There were some times where disagreements happened. There were times where many of us knew that someone else was crossing a line in a post. We knew what qualified as “not okay” in terms of being perverted and such. We’d solve this by not blaming, not hounding, not sending anon hate, not calling out, but by presenting facts, talking maturely, and trying to right the wrongs as maturely as we could.

Yes, it was possible. Was.

I don’t think you guys realize just how much content I’ve contributed to this fandom. I have spent basically every single day of the past 3-ish years trying to spread information/content/photos/videos/links/etc. to everyone who follows me (and everyone who doesn’t). This fandom was (and I cannot stress this enough), literally my entire life for the past 3 odd years, and I really wanted to spend the rest of my life contributing to it the way I’ve been.

I don't think anyone on here realizes everything that I have done for this community. Because of me:

this fandom has access to Animal Instinct for free

this fandom has access to the rare picture disc interview

this fandom has numerous scans of photos that may have not ended up online otherwise (I also paid $70 to have access to some of these. You're welcome.)

we have Fabulist Icons content

we have a decent amount of fanfiction that doesn't only focus on the boys banging each other/sex in general (seriously, this simply didn’t exist on here before I started posting my shit)

we have a little more fan art

we have content from Phil's and Ross's books

we have hundreds (yes, literally, HUNDREDS) of edits/moodboards/memes/etc. that I made myself

we have gifsets of things that no one else would have made

we have achieved justice a lot of the time when content was stolen because I have defended everyone without question/rallied up armies the second I heard it happened

some of you have gotten updates on news/facts/history/details/etc. that you’ve never even heard of

probably a shit ton more things, but that’s all I can think of for now. You get the point.

But that’s only half the story. This band and fandom has given me so much to cherish over the past few years.

Because of this fandom and the people (that were once) in it, I have:

met Rick in person

met, quite honestly, my two best friends ever, @ballistic-lipstick-dream-machine (my true Terror Twin) and @paper-sxn (adopted little sister/cousin)

became in contact with Phil's guitar tech from the mid-80s (Mike)

gained creative ambition to play guitar, create art, write stories, make edits/gifs, travel, and basically just better myself

began a record collection that is now in the hundreds and gained a lot of knowledge from it

discovered a whole new genre of music

found a community/culture where, for the very very first time in my life, I felt like I BELONGED.

fallen in love with something and someone for the first time

felt like I actually mattered to people, like I was actually important (because people would always come to me for information or help if they needed it)

basically impacted every corner of my life

just about a million other things, too, but I will be here all night if I try to list them all.

To put it delicately: Def Leppard and this fandom on tumblr absolutely changed my life, and was the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me.

I have spread so much information around, you newer people wouldn't imagine. I have gathered and seen so much information, you wouldn't believe how much I know and how much I've learned. I have bounced back and forth between formats time after time again that I feel like I’m stuck in a time warp. I have edited so many things on non-professional programs that I am an MS paint expert. I have been here so long, that I’ve seen 98% of the people in this branch of the fandom rotate in and out at least two or three times. 

That being said, all of the toxic people in this fandom will most likely be gone within the next 6 months. 

Def Leppard has taught me so much, but a big thing was love and loyalty. It's clear that the majority of people in this fandom (read my lips- I am N O T saying anyone’s names. I mean that.) do not know the meanings of either of these words. I've been practically running this fandom on Tumblr for nearly three years now, you’ve seen all that I’ve done for you, and what have I gotten in return?

Slander, cyberbullying, disrespect, consistently stolen content, etc. That’s what I’ve gotten. I’ve never attacked anyone on here, and that is still something I won’t do.

Yes, I am against slash fic, and I can’t believe that THAT’S the only reason why I’m being torn down like this. Something so dumb and immature as that has torn my beloved community in half. I have never attacked ANYONE for writing slash fic, yet I’ve been getting attacked since August (it is November now) for simply believing it is wrong to openly admit you want the boys to fuck each other.

(I’d also like to point out that someone from the KISS fandom ((god knows why)) had the balls to call me “homophobic” for hating slashfic. I can’t even begin to explain how much I laughed at that.)

I just wanna say that these are REAL people you’re writing about, you know. Don’t you think THEY would be against it? I know I cannot stop anyone from writing slash (I’ve said that before, but no one seems to remember it). I don’t think any of you realize that there is a certain line you shouldn’t cross when it comes to the internet, and being perverted in such an explicit and disrespectful way is one of them. We always had integrity in this fandom, and slash was never part of something we stood for. We knew when to stop, and we kept the slash on rockfic.com (where it belongs imo. That’s like their element).

I was very confused when more slash fics started appearing on tumblr this year. Now, it seems like that’s all there is, and I’m disgusted.

Whenever something close to that happened in 2018, everyone would be totally against it, and we’d talk it out and explain. While we all had our fair share of horny (and maybe then some) in this fandom, but we always knew where to draw the line. That was the line. That line doesn’t exist anymore, apparently, and nobody knows how to be mature and respectful to the band, to each other, and just for fuck’s sake. Now, I’m being slammed that being perverted for them fucking their best friends is “just fandom, bitch” and “the norm” and that it’s done “out of respect”, which I will never understand. You can’t use “slash” and “respectful” in the same sentence, and you can’t change my mind, but I know I can’t change yours, either. 

Slash is not, nor will it ever be, respectful. This fandom has become toxic.

Fanfiction is an outlet for creativity to be used for fun, not to be used as an excuse to project your sexually perverted sexuality headcannons/fetishes onto innocent, REAL, LIVE people. If all you write/read is them having sex with each other, then it really makes you wonder if it’s about “respect” anymore, doesn’t it?

In my opinion it’s fucked up that it’s “normal” and “just part of fandom” to create sexualities for- again- REAL, LIVE PEOPLE, and it’s everyone’s first instinct to argue that it’s fine, apparently? If you “respect” your idols so much like you claim you do, then why don’t you maybe respect their actual orientations instead of creating masturbation material for random 12 year olds and boomers, perhaps?

I don’t know what I did that was so fucking wrong in your eyes, as I’ve always tried to keep integrity in this area of tumblr. 

I'm very deeply hurt, more than I've ever been by this. It physically hurts me to admit that this fandom has become as toxic as it currently is. I don’t feel welcome here anymore at all, despite practically running things on here for so long.

I don’t know how I could ever live without this fandom, but now it looks like I’m going to have to try, or at least try and rebuild it on my own (again). I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop posting about Def Leppard, and after all, I only started posting about them for myself to begin with.

We were supposed to be the good fandom, the happy fandom, the fandom with no drama. I am ashamed to be associated with you now. I tried to stop it as best as I could, and hoped people would back me up, but I’ve received nothing but hate for simply trying to preserve some dignity.

You guys have been immature to say the least, and I find it very hard to believe that some of you are legal adults (but let’s be honest; most of you toxic people are probably too young to even be behind a computer, anyway). 

I’ve had to block some people that I really didn’t want to, but the deed is done. Keep your slash to yourself, tag it, do a read more, post it somewhere else, even- that’s how you co-exist. Just don’t come after me because I think it’s wrong. I never came after anyone specifically like that.

This isn’t goodbye, but I certainly am leaving for a while. I hope I got my point, my history, and my perspective across.

And I hope you’re fucking happy, because you’ve destroyed something I loved.

-Rachel

[benkouji726]

So I wrote my 5+1 Forlex fic, as I was saying earlier. I really lack impulse control when it comes to rnm, sigh.

Jealous Guerin may have some appearances in this fic too, but it’s eventually Forlex. 

This is the first part of it. I will try to update it daily, before I lose my nerves.

Five times Alex surprised Forrest and one time he didn’t

1.

It was supposed to be some harmless fun, at first.

Forrest was intuitive, to put it mildly. You didn’t grow up in a Long household and become this well-liked and popular family member by being dense, especially when you were gay. Besides, his gut feeling had saved him more times than he could count in battles, it was one of the reasons his buddies trusted him with their lives.

He was very good at reading people and situations around or between them. He didn’t always care what people thought of him, of others or of themselves, but he noticed all the same and would efficiently use that information to his advantage. Call it his people skills, but it was how he managed to live through his rebellious youth period, his military years, and now his adult life in a backwards town like Roswell, while never stopped being his colorful-haired, emo-poetry-writing, 20 pounds of personality in a 5 pound pocket-sized body self.

So he had known there was something between Alex and Alien Guy even when they first met at the Long farm. As they talked, it was like there were only them in the whole world. The air seemed thicker and more tangible, the atmosphere charged. Then at the diner, Forrest noticed the meaningful glance Alien Guy shot his way. When Alex sang that song, Guerin walked in and they seemed to have some soul searching conversations through their eyes only, well, it was really not that hard a guess who the song was for. And frankly, Alex needed to work on his poker face a LOT if he was ever gonna sell that obvious “it was a long time ago” lie.

But at the time, it hadn’t really mattered. Whatever it was between them, it seemed neither of them was going to make a move. And Alex was so hot sometimes he wondered how the hell he remained single in the first place, but he WAS single, and a smart guy like Forrest was never gonna miss out a perfectly good opportunity to make out with a hot guy and have some fun time with him.

It was supposed to be just like that, some fun, some company, some glorious make out sessions. Nothing heavy or potential heartbreak or anything.

Which was probably why he didn’t even realize he was falling for Alex until it was a bit of too late.

They were dating for two months at that point. Forrest had met almost all of Alex’s friends and family members (the ones who counted as friends and family in Alex’s book anyway), minus Michael Guerin. And Forrest had won them over one by one. He once overheard Liz call him “charming, funny, honest and loyal to a fault”, to a reluctant Isobel Evans, who had been giving him stink eyes ever since he and Alex had gone out, but in their last get-together thingy (Forrest honestly didn’t know how to call these, because they were irregular as fuck, both in schedule and in attending member counts), Isobel joined him at the bar when he was getting them the last round, considered him for a second, patted him on his shoulder without looking at him and said in a small but genuine voice: “You are not half bad”. So Forrest would call it a win.

In hindsight, it should have been his first warning sign that he cared so much of what Alex’s friends think of him. But in his defense, Alex was most at ease when he was with his friends, which meant he would always be sweet, adorable, sometimes sassy, sometimes soft, and had the unique sense of humor in a deadpan way, and Forrest was too busy being charmed to notice it.

So when his platoon buddies, Tony and Chris, came into town to visit him and he brought Alex to have a beer together, he was so caught off guard when Alex went to bathroom and Tony said:

“Man, you’re so gone on him, aren’t you.”

It wasn’t even a question.

Forrest spluttered, red faced, and said, eloquently: “uh, what?”

Tony and Chris changed a look, both amused. “You’ve been staring at him all night, Long. You look at him as if he hung the moon. You can’t seem to keep your hands to yourself, not to be PDA or something, but little touches, I think you didn’t even notice. He made a joke earlier, granted, it WAS hilarious, but the way you laughed, like you think he is the most funny guy in the whole world, which, no offense, is really not the case.”

Tony drank some water after his long ass bullshit, and Chris went in for a final blow. “So in conclusion, you’ve had it bad, dude, like, we’ve-never-seen-you-like-this level bad.”

Forrest was dumbstruck at that. He must’ve seemed like a dumbass too, because they decided to take pity on him, and changed the subject.

“Anyway, you know we’ve been relocated to the nearby base, Tobias and Leo are near enough too. The others all cashed in some long-overdue vacation days so we can have a little get together for our platoon in Santa Fe next month. You should come too.”

OK, that was exciting news. He missed his buddies and would be very happy to spend some time with them.

But Tony hesitated a little before continued: “There is a catch though. We thought it would be nice that we all bring our significant others, or even our children. So it would be a more family style setting. It may not be your thing.”

The thing was, it would totally be Forrest’s thing. He just didn’t know how to say it. With his platoon buddies, he always seemed like the free spirited lone wolf, easygoing, open and honest, but never the one to talk about family issues or kids problems with. But he would enjoy being surrounded by family love and loud but innocent kids, so he opened his mouth to just say that when he was interrupted by a light laugh.

“What are you guys talking about, family and kids and platoon buddies all under the same roof? It’s totally his thing.”

Forrest was startled, both by Alex’s sudden reappearance and his seemingly psychic ability to read his mind. When he remained silent a second too long, Alex apologized.

“Sorry, did I overstep? You actually don’t want to go or...?”

“No! I mean, yes, I wanna go. I just, something they said earlier, it was a lot to unpack. But you are right, I would love to go.” Well, it wasn’t exactly a lie.

Alex didn’t seem to buy it, but he was kind enough to drop it at the time.

On their drive home though, Alex picked it up again, as Alex would do, because he was a stubborn son of bitch like that.

“You wanna talk about what happened earlier?”

Forrest sighed. Best to just cut to the chase.

“Why did you say it was totally my thing? We didn’t often talk about family and kids, if any.”

Alex frowned, “No, we didn’t normally talk about that stuff. But it’s obvious you like family energy and friendly gatherings, isn’t it? Am I not supposed to know that?”

“But how? I served with my buddies for a long time, we trust each other with our lives. But almost none of them know it.”

“Forrest”, Alex smiled, “you like almost all of your family members, stay friends with a lot of them, despite some of them are real assholes. You even like hanging out with my friends and family too, not just because we are dating, but because you love being around people who give you warm family-like feelings. You organize every open mic night at the pony, and are genuinely interested in the acts and the people behind them, you like to talk to them about their lives and their relationships. You volunteer at the youth shelter. You are, simply put, a people person. You like people, you see good in them, you want to be around them and be a positive influence for them. You don’t necessarily tolerate stupid bigots, and you would be the first to call out their cowardice, but if they are willing to change and be better, you would want to believe in them too.”

He exhaled, oblivious of Forrest’s stunned expression, and continued.

“For a man who has that big a heart, I’d imagine spending some time with his buddies and their families would totally be his thing, don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, but...”

“And there’s also your poetry.”

Forrest was getting whiplash tonight, he could hardly keep up.

“My poetry?”

“Yeah, you gave me your emo poetry journal the other day and asked for my opinion?”

“I remember that. In fact, I remember it was a week ago and I still haven’t got any feedback yet.” If he was being honest, he would say he had been a little hurt by that too.

Alex’s face turned a shade pink. “I know I was being a little slow. But I just want to do them justice, you know? I’ve been reading each of them multiple times, so I can get the gist right.”

OK, hurt instantly healed. He really should be concerned how Alex’s words could so easily affect his mood.

“Anyway, the poems you wrote, they are all very pro-humanity, at least in my opinion. Like, the themes vary, some about personal journeys, some about lost love, some about struggling life, some about anger and pain. But the words have something like warmth attached to them, like despite all, there’s hope, and there’s good, in people, in humanity, in the whole world.”

He looked down at his hands then, voice quiet.

“And that’s the thing I like most about you.”

Shit.

“Shit”, It was definitely too soon, but Forrest just can’t not say it. “I think I might be falling for you.”

Alex looked at him right then, hesitated then determined: “I don’t think I’m there yet. But I think I could see myself heading down that road someday.”

He added in a more unsure voice: “Is that OK?”

Forrest reached out, squeezed his hand, and reassured him: “It’s OK”.

And it really was.

[bettsfic]

Hey! I was just wondering if you would soapbox a little about your creative process. I absolutely adore your writing advice but was wondering a bit more about how your ideas form and how you choose which to pursue and do finished products look like you want them to? What's a bad habit you're trying to break? No obligation to answer, especially cause an anon is like tell me your secrets! But thank you for all you've written, you are so helpful and kind

thanks for the great question anon! i wrote a bit about my drafting process here but that doesn’t encompass the idea building side of things (also i’ve made some changes to the process so i was thinking about writing a more cohesive, updated version at some point).

i tend to think of project ideas as piles of aesthetic, and usually i only begin writing once the pile has toppled over and i can’t not write it. that’ll make more sense in a moment. 

i’ll walk through 2 examples of my idea generating process, from how they started to where they are now. 

1. Vandal

Vandal is a novel i’m working on that i really have a lot of hope for. i’m about 60k words in right now and 75% finished. it’s about a teenage girl (sierra) who casts a spell on her hot, helpful neighbor (frank) to bind them together. the spell ends up working but backfiring when he becomes her foster father. then, in his custody, sierra gets jealous and casts a spell on his girlfriend (jenny) to break them up, but that backfires too: sierra gets taken out of frank’s custody and placed with a manipulative and abusive foster brother (leo). frank more or less kidnaps sierra and they have to Run From The Law. throughout the novel, sierra is inwardly battling Vandal, an immortal archangel that has possessed her and is trying to get her to kill herself so he can break free of the prison of her body.  

the idea for that story has a looooong breadcrumb trail and a huge aesthetic pile. since i couldn’t manage to get Baby traditionally published, i had a lot of that dynamic i could adopt into something else. i wrote at length about where that idea came from but i can no longer find that post (UPDATE: here it is). it’s somewhere in my training wheels tag. in short, i spent an entire summer watching/reading age gap stories and the male perspective in them bothered me a lot, so i wanted to write a story from the younger party’s perspective, and do the reality of those situations justice. i wrote that story, though, so i didn’t want to rewrite it. 

then, in december 2019, for reasons i don’t remember, i started reading snape/hermione fics. i really liked the dynamic, but it was a little too angsty for me, and none of the fics gave me the catharsis i was looking for, which was basically Grouchy Soft Boy Takes Care Of PTSD Weary Girl. being unable to find anything that fit the exact no-conflict, angstless dynamic i was looking for, i decided to write it myself using an A/B/O reylo idea i’d been kicking around for about 8 months but i could never land on, because i didn’t know if i wanted ben or ren. that fic turned out to be Reclaimed.  

to answer one of your questions, Reclaimed didn’t turn out the way i wanted it to at all, and i’m still kind of shocked by the traffic it has. i felt bad about writing it, because i was setting down so many other things to work on it, and it was a struggle from start to finish. at the time (and this is a major theme of my process), i thought it was a waste of energy.

but it opened a very important thematic concept to me, which is the idea of voicelessness and trauma, and recovery through finding one’s voice.

fast-forward to february, i’m headcanoning with @star-sky-earth just days before i have to head to nebraska for a writing residency. she and i are talking about a certain male celebrity who shall not be named, flirting with his younger female costar who shall not be named, and i said something along the lines of, “wouldn’t it suck to get a crush on a dude like him, only to find out he likes you back, and then you realize he’s actually kind of shallow and boring?”

i remember distinctly saying, out loud, “god fucking dammit,” because, right then, an aesthetic pile had toppled over, and an entire novel unfolded itself in my brain. i pound out an outline. it’s garbage. i play around with a vocal gauge. it’s not quite right. then, two days later, i write an opening scene that i don’t think is great but i send it to some people and they’re like, oh this is fire. 

the aesthetic pile looks like this:

lolita, where dolores is the one in control

delusions of grandeur born from a major traumatic event

obsessions with fairy tales and the escapism they provide

the consequences of extreme neglect

forced voicelessness as both a theme and a major structural constraint

a lot of wolf imagery

non-chronological timelines

i proceed to spend the next two days driving across the country brain-writing. by the time i reach nebraska, i hit the ground running, and write for basically 30-40 hours a week for 5 weeks. then, because pandemic, i decide to stay 2 more weeks, but i hit a snag. i write about 14k of really boring drivel and realize my outline has failed me. i toss the 14k and re-outline and try again. then, my attention is rattled by a crush on a composer who has no interest in me. 

i go home and fall into my annual summer depression and i lose focus. so, that’s where i’m at. i really miss vandal but it’s gotten super dark and i’m finding it difficult to manage darkness with everything going on. which brings me to my next aesthetic pile that has recently toppled over.

2. Eden

that’s not the title but it’s the project name. i’ve begun writing a YA sci fi comedy with an ensemble cast. this aesthetic pile took years to build before it toppled. it started with Elixir of Erised, hands down the best fic i’ve ever written by a huge margin. i reread it this past winter and was kind of amazed i’d written it. 

i really liked the idea of a potion showing you your deepest desires, but until recently have not had the patience to build an entire world around it. so, for the past 3.5 years, i’ve kept a document of “if i WERE to a YA SFF book with the themes of EOE, what would i want to include?” over those 3.5 years, here’s what the list became:

dark academia vibes

heist plot

soulmates

that list is not really conducive to an entire universe, and i never had the motivation to sit down and think through it. 

then i watched breaking bad, and a lot of things started clicking. at the same time, i was talking to my buddy kyle about my fallen knight archetype schematic, and i began fleshing out all the archetypes that went with it. i came up with 12. i built a database. i thought, wouldn’t it be cool to write something with ALL 12 ARCHETYPES?? haha but who would be dumb enough to do that?

me. i would. 

with breaking bad as the missing plot piece (which introduces the idea of conflict around the MANUFACTURE and DISTRIBUTION of addictive substances, with an ensemble cast of morally grey characters, which leads to a war), i had enough to get started. 

i wrote an outline. i wrote another outline. i wrote a third outline. i stopped to write some histories of this place i’d built. i wrote a fourth outline. gdocs became a mess so i downloaded scrivener and taught myself how to use it. i wrote a gauge of the first chapter and landed the voice on the first try. then i did a rough sketch of how a trilogy would go. then i outlined each book in the trilogy to make sure my character trajectories were on point. then i did a lot more worldbuilding. now i’m working on my fifth outline, which breaks the entire novel down scene by scene. 

and for Reasons, i’m tasking myself with writing the first draft in 6 days across two weekends. it’s a high-stakes adventure story with a very tight timeline, so i think it’s conducive to being written quickly.

which brings me to another question you asked, which is, what bad habits do i want to break? i always, always slow down at the halfway mark. sometimes i even give up. i have no idea why. no matter how much preparation i do, no matter how solid my endgame is, at the halfway mark i either slow to a crawl or set the whole project down and pick up something new. i do this with reading books, too. i can only ever read the first half of books. then i either skip to the end or put them down forever. it’s definitely something i have to figure out because at this rate i’ll never finish anything.

okay this took way longer than i thought it would to write but i hope it answers your question. tl;dr i follow aesthetic and thematic interests until they lead me to a point where i can’t not write the stories that develop from them. 

[gwendolyngreene]

I swear I haven't abandoned Aloha

Actually, I just logged in for the first time in a while and saw 76 notifications... If anyone has been watching this page to see if I have any updates, this is all I've got:

I still love Jurassic, Clawen is still OTP, I never planned to abandon any fics, and I really do wish I could start writing again.

Truth is my mental health has been in one hell of a tailspin lately...I had a pretty major surgery at the start of 2020 and thought that everything would finally fall into place and my life would be great after that...aaand then you know what happened. Covid put a stop to my plan to move out on my own and I've been working from home (still full time) ever since March so my entire life has felt on hiatus until this shit is over. I haven't had anyone close to me get sick and I'm still financially stable so it could absolutely be worse. However, depression really loves isolation so I've had to focus on just keeping myself alive for a while and haven't been able to spend much time doing things I used to do. Even then, most of my fun free time has been spent on other hobbies; video games (Animal Crossing most notably but also Jurassic World Evolution) and cosplay/sewing projects. Also my computer is kind of shitty so I hate opening it up because it's so slow.

Aloha was supposed to be the start of something great, part 1 of a whole series I've been calling the "Buttercup" storyline. So honestly as much as part 2 of that story could have been my perfect 2020 happy place I didn't let myself write it because part 1- Aloha- isn't done. The reason I didn't finish writing it is because...drum roll... I kind of need to rewrite almost the entire thing. I know! I know. But the story isn't working and I plotted it out before it was ever tied to this whole other AU series I've created so it doesn't connect the way it needs to. If I'm going to Do A Thing I want to do it properly and this storyline actually means a lot to me, so I need to do it justice.

(Also as much as I love Harry Potter and the HP AU fic I planned called "Owl Ways" it's just not quite as important. And the JK anti-trans bullshit has been super polarizing for a lot of long-time fans so I don't even know how many people would want to read it? HP/JW is already pretty niche)

TL;DR I haven't been writing much but whenever I get back to it I will be rewriting Aloha, then more fics that fall onto the same storyline but could also be read separately and they will be great 👍 I promise

[bangtanxm]

Bookclub; March Highlight

This month’s theme was “The Darkness Within” asking for our bookclub members to find the most angstiest and darkest stories to recommend for this month. These are our our monthly fanfic recommendations from our bangtanxm; bookclub!

In the following you find a list of fics we recommend and reviewed this month. Please support these amazing authors! With every monthly recommendation, there is also a drabble game that everyone can participate in. You’ll find the masterlist at the end of the reviews. Happy Reading!

BOOKCLUB; recommendations

PS. As this theme involves a lot of triggering topics, we’d like to emphasize to thoroughly read the disclaimers on each story. Thank you.

TEMPTATION written by linzeigh

— Summary; Yoongi and Jimin are priests. Jin, Taehyung, and Jungkook are hungry. — Disclaimer; pwp, demons, nsfw-content

bookclub; review

“AAAAARRHHHHH. This was so incredible. I feel like no matter what I say, it will not do this masterpiece justice. It's so sinful and forbidden, but oh how it feels so right! The gradual revelation of Jimin and Yoongi’s mutual lust for each other was masterfully written. And fuck, I love the demon trio of Jin, JK and Tae. Their interactions and teasing brought a surprisingly bright mood to the fic, and I giggled several times at JK and Tae’s bickering. The concept of them feeding of sexual tension and being able to read Jimin and Yoongi’s mind was really interesting. The blasphemy was so shocking (and surprisingly intriguing), and I kept thinking damn how far is the author gonna take it, and oh lord very very far indeed. This is a must-read for anyone who likes explicit and dark fics!!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“This fic is so good. It is lengthy, for one, which is so admirable and amazing considering it’s largely smut. Smut can be so hard to write such big fics of and keep it fresh and interesting, but this author was able to do so. They were able to really take their time with each character and it felt fresh and interesting, without being slow or repetitive which is such an awesome accomplishment. I love the small details that were added in, the fact that they didn’t bleed, probably didn’t need to breathe, were super strong, etc. – it really added to the depth of the characters themselves, which is something that is often left out of smut fics. Also the entire subject/plot. Though blasphemous in some ways, it was handled really really well and I think kind of brushed on some very important topics (like being gay and religious). Overall just a stunning piece of fiction that I will be coming back to again and again for a reread.” [anon]

THE PERFECT ILLUSION written by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that. — Disclaimer; mentioning of abusive behavior

bookclub; review

“this is...just wow.... the story is so interesting and unique, the writing is beautiful, the characters are so on point. Ive only read the first chapter so far and i just know this is going to be one of my classics. The universe is so well constructed, the characters very nuanced in such a short amount of time... You can see the research that went into the geisha world, and it's paying off into what i feel is a masterpiece.” [anon]

"I already had an admiration and love for geisha culture and craft so seeing this story come out the first time just made me so excited!! Granted it has darker thematic tones to it, I loved how Jimins character was so well embodied that it stuck with me even after I read it. Also Jungkook as the maiko liSTEN I GREW SO PROTECTIVE OF HIM THROUGHOUT THE STORY. That build up of his mizuage made me want to take him away to somewhere and Namjoon and Yoongi were just the best, most complimentary characters to each of them. Jimin needed someone soft and kind like Namjoon while Jungkook needed someone sort of protective and a little cheeky like Yoongi. Their dynamics just worked so freaking well and you can always count on Jey and Cat to have just the right amount of angst mixed with fluff cause damn it HURT for a while reading this but the relief of it all was so welcoming. I can't rec this fic enough honestly, the characters, the settings in the teahouse are so beautiful and I LOVE authors who aren't scared to make a member into an antagonistic character cause it added so much flavour to the chemistry OOF just well done it was so nice reminiscing with this fic again!!!” [anon]

“I read The Perfect Illusion originally as it came out. It is just as enjoyable the second time through. It was such an interesting and stunning piece, I felt. The real shining star was the slow burn aspect of it, I think, even more so than the angst or abuse aspects. The slow sort of build of romance between Joon and Jimin was really beautiful, especially with the constant looming danger of what they were doing. The gravity of it was revealed in a really slow, measured manner that I think really helped the reader feel that sense of urgency as the fic went on and we – like Namjoon, learned more and more about the situation than we’d known before. The disgust of what was being done to Jimin and JK and the other dancers was enough to roll one’s stomach, but it was done in such a way that it worked well with the fic. It wasn’t there just for shock value; everything seemed to have a purpose and a point and it wove together in a really fitting and gorgeously heartbreaking and bittersweet tale overall.”  [anon] 

SING FOR ME written by Trilluvium

— Summary; When Jimin set out to find Earthshine in order to save his mother, he’d been ready to give up his life. Earthshine’s keeper, however, was interested in taking more from Jimin than just his life. — Disclaimer; non-con, tentacles, rape

bookclub; review

“Just wow. Okay, so this fic is so beautifully done. There is nonconsent, yes, it’s dark, yes, but it’s so much more than that. Particularly because of the ending, which is so bittersweet – Jimin’s choice. But my thinking is, vaguely hopeful? Maybe things will turn around? But that’s just me. Either way – the real shining star in this fic is the descriptive writing. The author does such a good job of writing in a very clear and detailed manner that a lot of folks just can’t accomplish without it dragging the fic down. It feels far heavier in description than dialogue, which I think fits it perfectly. The author was able to perfectly describe this absolutely beautiful fantasy realm in which the characters are, as well as the inhuman aspects of the characters. The description left me breathless – I wasn’t distracted, struggling to imagine what a, b, or c looked like – the author painted this amazing, film quality scene in my head. And because of that, I was able to focus fully on the dialogue and action of the characters.”  [anon]

WHISPERING SHADOWS written by @jooniesmind​

— Summary; It’s an already tough ability, that becomes borderline impossible, when you’re scared of ghosts. And Jimin was like that. — Disclaimer; angst, ghosts, mentioning of death

bookclub; review

“This is an excellent start to what could be a really sad, beautiful fic! The descriptions used are really stunning, painting a lovely picture (and a sad one). I’d love to see what would happen if JK came back, or even just following poor terrified-of-ghosts Jimin through his life, doing his job in whatever way he can manage. I’d love to learn more about how it works, what he does (and doesn’t do) and meet other ghosts he’s had to tangle with. And other whisperers! How it works and what makes them have the ability, etcetera. There’s such a whole rich world here that I think the author really began to develop in a beautiful way.” [anon]

“this story just hits you right in the feels. the author does a great job of putting so much emotion in a little one-shot that i’m just in awe at how they’ve done it. it is perfect!” [anon]

The Chaos Theory (Love Me Now) written by leanmeancuisine

— Summary; Jeon Jungkook, Prince of the South Korean Royal Pack and CEO of the largest conglomerate in the world, was thought to be following his father’s footsteps in becoming a Purebred Alpha. Oh, how wrong was that. Freshly presented at 18, Jungkook is discovered to be a Genus—a rare and one of a kind type of wolf that has more than one special gene. — Disclaimer; ABO Dynamics, mentioning of suicide, depression, kidnapping, poly-relationship

bookclub; review

“So I read this entire wip in one sitting. And then had to lay down and sleep on it before writing this. That’s how damn good this fic is. I was absolutely blown away. The style of writing is unbelievably well done. The author was able to really create this whole world and species, essentially, borrowing from some of the more traditional tropes but changing it into something very unique and creative. It feels so entirely fresh and interesting, weaving both very well handled traumas and angst in with softer, gentler bits that give the fic a level of depth and beauty that I haven’t seen in a very long time. All of the characters are so beautifully developed; I honestly can’t think of one I prefer more than the other of the ones that we have met so far. I’m so incredibly curious about the remaining members, as well as how Jin will blend with the rest of the group as things progress. I look forward to many updates!” [anon]

“ALRIGHT DAMN what a ride and im only prologue + 1st ch in! the introduction to jungkook's is honestly so good, and the author describes the scenes so perfectly its like we're there with jungkook, annoyed at the world. These two chapters definitely got my attention and i have a feeling ill be binging this in a near future. I can't wait to see how the author develop the other boys, how they'll introduce them... im getting excited now” [anon]

MONSTER UNDER THE BED written by Born2beSad

— Summary; Namjoon’s new apartment came with a little more than he was expecting… …luckily for him and his nighttime visitor, he’s into it. — Disclaimer; tentacles pwp, monsters,

bookclub; review

“This is such an interesting twist on the tentacle genre! I loved jimin and Joon's dynamic, although definitely wrong...but in a universe with monster under the beds i don't think that matters. Jimin as a character was weirdly endearing, and you can't help yourself from feeling sorry for him and his loneliness, and relieved he found Joon. And well, Joon is leaving his best life, so props to him for sticking around. The writing was impeccable, will definitely be going through the authors fics in a near future” [anon]

“I'm a lil bit of a newbie with tentacle porn reading wise and def haven't tried it writing wise but THIS WAS THE SHIIITTTT I LOVED IT SO MUCH (and lowkey highkey brought out a small tentacle porn interest of mine i didn't know i had oop) just the way Namjoon loved it and wanted it I could feel it in my freaking bones and maybe even related to him a littejnerighs i mean it was JIMIN HOW COULD YOU NOT and i loved the sprinkles of fluff in there it really brought a nice relief from the hot, heavy and body tingling smut embedded into it gdfoegg this was so good, such a hot way to depict a monster under the bed concept and the author did it so well also really inspired to dive into this territory of storytelling cause i'm 0.0 intrGUED” [anon]

“So, so good. Many of your general tentacle fics tie so deeply with nonconsent or dubious consent at best. Which is entirely fine, but sometimes it’s so nice to see something refreshing and new, and this fits the bill. While still brimming with great imagery and really well written smut, it also injects a supply of sweet fluff and near domesticity to the situation. Rather than being the ‘boy gets taken against his will by sex crazed monster’ – the relationship is symbiotic, allowing a give and take; even if it is largely physical in nature. I think that sheds such a fun light on the tentacle monster trope. This is one of those fics that I would really enjoy seeing another chapter or two, additional shenanigans that the two get up to with or without smut. Further, I love the descriptors used in the fic, I feel like it painted a really lovely visual that helped the reader really dive into it.” [anon]

“This fic....whew! It is really something! I don't read tentacle stuff and I'm not a fan of bottom!Namjoon but I wanted to read something different for this month. It's a great balance of fluff and smut with how the ending turns out; it's not rape or non-con either, since Namjoon is a huge monster lover lol I can just imagine him with a whole collection of monster dildos. The writing is wonderful too. The way the author set up the beginning without giving things away until maybe halfway through is really well done. Like, you already know Namjoon's going to consent but (at least for me) not in a way you expected. Jimin being a cute, friendly monster who isn't afraid to show his devilish side too <3 I seriously reccomend this to people who like tentacle porn. Maybe even people who don't read it often like me” [anon]

“This was such a surprisingly sweet and fluffy tentacle fic. I love the author's description of Jimin’s duality; the mixture between his sweet pretty features and his black demon tentacles, really feels so believe haha. The ending was so lovely and really put a smile on my face!” [@tinysweetscrown​]

INTO THE WOODS written by bugarungus

— Summary; Seokjin wakes up to find he’s been kidnapped by some nature nymphs and their pet. — Disclaimer; tentacle pwp, fae & farieis, dubious consent

bookclub; review

“Oh my, I was completely immersed in this beautiful little universe, the author created. Everything about this fic is so lovely and stunning - from the descriptions of Jin’s everyday life before he meets the nymphs to the actual smut. I loved the bickering between Jimin, Tae and Yoongi, because it truly felt like a “brotherly” relationship. Also the fact that they each were a different “type” of nymph, and especially Tae’s protectiveness of LeeAnn, was so interesting and funny to read. This fic really strikes a perfect balance between a dirty smutty plot with dubious consent without it being too vulgar and uncomfortable to read!” [@tinysweetscrown]

“Wowowowow. Honestly this fic blew me away. There was so much going on but it was all so clear and well written, just… Perfection. The descriptions were so clean and clear and visually stimulating, it was easy to picture exactly what was happening. This is something so hard to do sometimes, especially in smut with more than two people, and this one was four and a plant! I wanted to know more about the nymphs, and their plant – the backstory bet would be so fascinating and amazing. There was so much subtle romance between the nymphs, and even being dubious consent, I feel like that oozed into Jin as well – opening up the idea that the future isn’t going to be questionable. Kind of a happy ending even with a smidge of the darker/dubious consent that laced through it. I think also, the relationship between the nymphs was just really fun. Despite the alternate universe, the characters felt really true to the actual group members. Their personalities matched up great and I didn’t find myself wondering if x would actually say that, do that, etcetera. It’s amazing when you can keep things true to ‘life’ but put them into this awesome fantasy world. Just so, so well done.” [anon]

NICE THINGS written by @kimlinebiased​

— Summary; Namjoon is clumsy, even with others’ hearts. — Disclaimer; smut

bookclub; review

“This was such a sweet and wholesome fic! I especially enjoyed Namjoon's letter to Yoongi. I felt like the description of how Namjoon and Yoongi are different really fit so well with at least how I see them irl! Also the call back in the end to "this is why we can't have nice things" tied the whole fic so nicely together and left me all warm and fuzzy :)" [@tinysweetscrown]

“Nice things is such a sweet story, even with the angst thrown into it, you can feel the love yoongi and namjoon have for each other. It make the angst hurt even more, and wraps things up in cute ending. The smut if soft and just right for the story, and you just find yourself rooting for the characters to make it work, and also to pls wrap namjoon in bubble wrap...”[anon]

“A blend of angst and smut, it's really well done. I don't read a lot of canon/idol stuff nor do I write it much, but I decided I'd give it a read. Considering it's Dean writing, I wasn't disappointed haha Namjoon and Yoongi have a really nice relationship and Yoongi's reluctance to get back with Namjoon makes sense given how Namjoon broke his heart. The smut at the end is A+ too.” [anon]

DEVILS HAND by @softjeon​ & @cassiavioletblue​

— Summary; There had been rumors, but in the end it was not really a secret that Namjoon loved delicate and beautiful things. Especially when it came down to his lovers and his castle. It was decorated with lot of flowing, long blue curtains, colorful paintings in every room, rows of marble columns leading along every aisle. There was a large garden surrounding the palace, which was by far Jungkook’s favorite place to be – next to the king’s bedroom. — Disclaimer; alcohol, abusive relationships, abusive behavior, (sexual) violence, major character death

bookclub; review

“This fic….. ruined me… When I first started reading it, I was immediately intrigued, because I had no idea where the fic was going! I was so captivated by it, and I HAD TO finish it, but holy fuck I needed like a good day to digest it. The universe the authors created was absolutely beautiful and so well-described that I feel like I, days later, still have a clear image in my head of what the scenes look like - as if I’d seen a movie. The ending was absolutely devastating and painful and awful (but like in a good way) and im so conflicted about the whole thing…………” [@tinysweetscrown]

“alright so another masterpiece by the incredible duo! The dynamic in this story are amazingly complex and layered, the characters interesting and their motives are well thought out.. You can't help but have your stomach tied in a knot after the first chapter, anticipation making you nervous. There's this general feeling that shit will hit the fan and it won't be pretty... beautifully written, bravo!” [anon]

“How. Dare. You. Omg, I just reread this fic and ughhhh the ending breaks my heart every time! I've never hated Namjoon in a fic before. Even when I've made him an asshole, I didn't hate him. But here...he's just such a dick and Jungkook is such a sweetheart looking to please the man he loves. It's such a sad story because Jungkook is a rabbit surrounded by vipers (Taehyung being the only good one imo). I definitely rec it to anyone who wants a good angsty read. I do say mind the triggers though, since it's not for everyone. The writing is beautiful, sets a good pace, and gives detail without going overboard. Jey and Cat really get you inside the character's feelings while delivering really steamy smut scenes.” [anon]

“The Devil’s Hand was such a sad, dark story for all involved. I don’t often read major character death because it makes me so sad, but I think it was really fitting for this fic. There was no winning for JK, and the end really solidified that lesson of not knowing what you have until it’s gone. The relationship between Taehyung and Jungkook was one of my favorite parts of the entire fic. They had such a well-developed friendship and I think that Tae really embodied the person that JK deserved, in a weird way. Though they were only friends, he was loving and trusting and would do anything for JK, even at the risk of his own life. The contrast between how Tae treated him versus Namjoon, even versus Hoseok – it was so stark and telling in terms of the fic and the deeper meanings. I think overall the fic was heart wrenching and so, so sad, but such an excellent piece that really cuts the reader to the bone. “ [anon]

The Drabble-Game; MASTERLIST

— prompt; “Sometimes the darkness is too big to keep inside.”  

Thank you to everyone who participated! Stay tuned for the next theme of the month to participate! 

THE ROOM WHERE IT HAPPENED written by @chimknj​

— summary; Jimin was in the room when Hoseok walked in. Only one of them would get out of it alive.

EAT THE RICH (BECAUSE THEY’RE ROTUND AND DELICIOUS) written by @kimlinebiased​

— summary; Jungkook had a mission. That mission may involve killing people and burying the bodies. It’s going great… Until the bodies go missing.

— Join the Bookclub here! — official post — faq

[the-whole-long-stupid-story]

Hypothetically Speaking

A M&M wedding fic - with picspam to follow 🍬

Okay, so this has turned into a CHAPTERED freakin’ debacle, because I need to do it justice and a one-shot didn’t allow me the head space /thinking and brainstorming I needed. 

Here’s chapter 1, with chapter 2 hot on its tails. I’ll share the picspam at the end of this, so it makes more sense.

@adampascalfan thanks for the inspiration! This has now taken on a life its own - hope you enjoy it.

Marriage wasn’t a huge priority for him. He didn’t really think he and Maria needed to do the whole ‘spew-your-guts-out with a bunch of kissy kissy vows, proclaim undying love and seal it with a chaste kiss while wearing white’ type thing like Max and Liz had, because in his mind they had already been married for years. Although he’d only admitted openly to it recently, it had always been her. He had never had eyes for anyone else, Maria was the only girl for him and that’s the way it would always be. He didn’t need a piece of paper to declare to the world what he already knew to be true. And going on the amount of times people would mutter that they bickered like an old married couple, it seemed as though the rest of the world already knew they were bonded for life too.

But was it enough for Maria? He didn’t need the piece of paper, the pomp and ceremony - but did she? He was certain she knew how he felt about her, because he had made a habit of trying to tell her more often. Since that afternoon he left Roswell on his bike and told her he’d always love her, and ever since that evening when she’d chosen to leave with them - with him - he had made a point of letting her know how he felt about her. Not super regularly and certainly not in huge proclamations, it wasn’t his style. But during quiet moments together in the back of the van, or when she was nearly asleep in his arms, he’d whisper the words quietly against her ear, so she would never forget. He’d also made their fake IDs with matching surnames, something he hadn’t even done consciously. It just seemed natural to do so. He didn’t bother correcting strangers when they assumed that he and Maria were husband and wife, either. These were all just little gestures towards their unspoken commitment and he did them mostly without a second thought, but he also knew it culminated in ensuring that she knew exactly where he wanted her to be - with him.

But still he wondered - did she need a receipt for these actions? The paperwork?

His thoughts were answered one sunny Spring afternoon in May, when they were in California. They’d been careful, and they hadn’t managed to find anyone on their trail, so they had stopped in a small town north of LA for a few months or so to re-group and get some temporary work to keep the finances flowing. They had a small 3 bedder, which was better than the nookie motels they’d previously stayed in, but it still wasn’t 5 star living by any standard. Better than the van, though. Michael was ready to toss that load of junk in and find something a little more reliable, but so far he had to concede that it had done them proud. They’d changed its colour several times so it was less traceable - at the moment it was a lightish, mustardy yellow.

Across the road from the apartment was a park - a pretty decent size, with a playground for kids, and picnic areas, a pond and lots of trees. It’s where they usually went when they needed to discuss something in-depth that they didn’t want anyone in the apartment complex to overhear. But they also went there to relax in-between their temp work and errands. Michael and Kyle had just finished their shift helping a local mechanic with parts, and were making their way over to the park to find the girls. Max was back at the apartment, using their old clunky computer to check for any updates and research where they might head for next.

Michael could see the girls sitting in a bushy clearing near the pond, they all had ice creams and seemed pretty relaxed as they chatted and laughed. He smiled a little as Maria tossed her head back, laughing at something that the other two had said - he liked seeing his girl so happy. She was like sunshine, she made everything brighter. Warmer.

“Hey, I’m gonna grab a water. You want one?” Kyle asked, pointing over to a kiosk near the playground.

“Yeah, sure. I’ll meet you over there,” Michael said, nodding towards the girls.

They hadn’t seen him walking towards them, and they were continuing their conversation happily as he approached. They were sitting in a clearing near the pond, with shrubs and bushy trees surrounding them. He couldn’t fault their choice; they always had to be wary of who could see them or hear them, and he was pleased that they’d done so well at finding a secluded patch to hang out in.

“It definitely wasn’t something I was expecting, especially after what Future Max had told me we’d done in the other timeline with the wedding in Vegas,” Liz smiled at the girls as she recounted the tale of how Max had proposed the night before graduation. Michael slowed down a bit and hung back. They still hadn’t seen him, and he didn’t really want to interrupt her moment. “But I just knew it was the right thing, the best thing for us. I didn’t mind that we were so young.”

“I think it’s so romantic. Star crossed lovers,” Isabel mused. Michael rolled his eyes.

“Well you were pretty young yourself, Isabel” said Maria, nudging her lightly with her elbow. Michael leaned against a tree, just out of their sight in order to continue listening to their conversation. He didn’t want to barge into any girly chat, especially one that was about marriage. Next thing you know they’d be cooing at the prospect of babies, and he sure as hell didn’t want to be present for that conversation either.

“Yeah, you’re right. I guess when you know you know - age shouldn’t factor into it,” Isabel shrugged, taking a lick of her ice cream.

“Is that why you conducted your hypothetical survey on me at the Crashdown that day?” Maria smirked and raised an eyebrow.

“It wasn’t so much that I wasn’t sure about marrying Jesse. I loved him, I wanted to marry him. I was more concerned about everyone else, how they were going to react. I knew there would be push back…”

“They all came around eventually though,” said Liz kindly. “They all wanted to be part of your special day in the end.”

“Yeah,” Isabel smiled tightly. Convincing her parents, Max and Michael to give her their blessing had been hard. But she didn’t want to think about her wedding day for too long, it was too painful to recount. She switched the spotlight off her. “So…what about you Maria? That day at the Crashdown you dropped a handful of plates when I asked my hypothetical question about marriage. Still feel the same way?” Isabel raised her eyebrows expectantly at Maria, awaiting for an answer.

Michael’s eyes narrowed. He was pretty certain he knew which day Isabel was talking about, but he’d been distracted with his friends, devouring breakfast and sharing jokes after a long night shift at Meta Chem. He’d never thought to discuss it with Maria in more detail, thinking she had just accidentally dropped a bunch of plates in a rush. Now that he thought about it though, she never dropped plates.

“Wait…what exactly was this hypothetical question you asked?” Liz hadn’t witnessed their interaction and had never sought out a further explanation as to what had happened. Michael smirked, he was grateful Liz hadn’t been there either.

“Oh, Isabel asked me what I would say if Michael asked me to marry him,” laughed Maria. He froze. Isabel had what?! “And she didn’t mention it was hypothetical until after I dropped all the plates.”

All three girls giggled. Michael didn’t. What was so funny about that? Was the idea of marrying him so far beyond her - no, so terrifying to her, that she had forgotten all about fine motor function? He remembered when George at work had asked him if he would ever marry Maria, and although he assumed that the guys were expecting him to flip out at the question, he hadn’t. In fact, he’d properly considered it, for a few milliseconds at least, before he gave his answer. And it had been a truthful one - it was something he’d think about further down the track. He blinked. That had been nearly 3 years ago. Was ‘further down the track’ now? They were both only 20 years old, but they felt more like 40. They’d been on the run for nearly 2 years, and even before then they’d all grown up pretty quickly. So much for misspent youth.

Isabel snickered and continued. “Honestly, the look on your face. You were gobsmacked. But also - I remember there was something else there in your eyes too. Excitement?”

“Uhh, I’m not sure if that’s the word I’d use,” Maria smiled. “I’ve never had any huge desire to have a traditional white wedding - no offence. I guess it just comes with the territory of being raised in a broken home - my dad deserted my mom, his wife.” She shrugged. It wasn’t a big deal for her, she just wasn’t sure she believed in all the fuss of marriage. “I don’t exactly have a great track record when it comes to the men in my life sticking around long-term. Why tempt fate?”

“C’mon Maria, your dad - that was lousy. Unforgiveable. And yeah, Michael has done his fair share of running in the past, but you really think he’ll ever walk away from you again?” Liz grinned. “I know he’s not exactly your traditional marriage prospect, but you must have at least thought about it. You and Michael, surely one day you want to make it official?”

Michael held his breath, and bristled slightly. Good old Parker putting his girl on the spot. He suddenly felt tense. Did she really place him in the same category as her dad? Fearful he’d abandon her? Concerned that if they tied the knot, that they’d end up as just another statistic in the divorced column? Those times he’d walked away, he thought he’d made it clear it was for her own safety - her own protection. Never on a whim. And certainly not because he didn’t love her enough. Christ, it was the opposite of that - he’d even said it to her. Suddenly he didn’t want to stay and hear anymore of this. But he couldn’t pull himself away. He needed to know her answer.

“Well, I mean - does a piece of paper make true love official? I think there’s more to it than that,” she paused and looked at the other two women as she realised they might take that the wrong way. “I know there’s more to it than that for you guys too, I just… I don’t need a big white dress or an official ceremony to know that Michael and I are in it for the long haul. He stayed here for me, I left there for him,” she shrugged again. “One day sure, I’d love to have an intimate ceremony with him somewhere and make it official. It’d be great to do that in our own type of way. But I also kinda feel like the night we left after graduation was a ceremony in itself. It was a one-shot decision. Just like the night he was supposed to go home. Make a choice, and that was it. No turning back. I chose Michael.”

Michael released the breath he didn’t realise he’d been holding. Leaning against the tree, he closed his eyes for a second. He was taken aback by her honesty, and touched by her feelings towards him. It had been unspoken, they’d never really gone into detail on it. But she was right - had had stayed on earth for her, and when it was time to leave Roswell forever, she had left for him. She’d left everything for him. Despite all the crap he had put her through over the years, she had chosen him. They’d chosen each other over everything else - there wasn’t really anything bigger than that when it came to love. They didn’t need a ceremony with sappy vows to prove it.

Well, sometimes it’s nice to hear it out loud too though, you know.

Michael opened his eyes sharply and looked around. He had sworn he had heard that voice out loud. But there was no-one else around, no-one close by enough to be able to invade his thoughts. And though he didn’t want to fully admit to it, the voice had sounded pretty close to…

Alex. Yeah, good work Sherlock.

Michael shook his head a little. He must be dehydrated. Where was Kyle with that water? Instinctively he rubbed a hand down his cheek, feeling a tingling sensation on his face.

Just remember what I told you a few years back, Guerin. She’s not just some girl.

Get out of my head, he thought angrily, trying to shake the voice of Alex out of his brain. He knew she wasn’t just some girl. Hadn’t he already proven that countless times? She was his girl, and he was planning on keeping it that way. He wasn’t planning to leave her side, ever again. But a wave of fear washed over him. Did she doubt that, even a little bit? He looked down at his hands, they were trembling a little, and the sun through the trees glinted off the rings on his fingers as the shook. What the hell?

Prove it. She’s your girl. Make sure she knows it.

“Hey, what are you doing?” Kyle was approaching, holding out a bottle of water to him.

“Nothing, just…waiting for you. What took you so long?” He grabbed the water and opened it quickly, guzzling it down in the hopes of washing Alex’s voice away from inside his head.

“Big queue, lots of people here today,” Kyle glanced over to where the girls were sitting in the clearing and nodded in their direction. “You going over there?”

“Trust me, you do not want to go over there right now,” Michael said emphatically.

“Ohh,” Kyle breathed and furrowed his eyebrows. “Girl talk.”

“Yeah, listen - I need your help. Let’s go talk somewhere away from their kissy kissy conversation,” Michael muttered, taking all his might not to physically grab Kyle and drag him back to the apartment as quickly as possible. He had plans to make, and he needed all the help he could get.

[sassaetcie]

The Molten Charcoal (Idia x Silver fic) : Chapter 2

Enjoy this second chapter :) Please reblog if you like, or comment, I love to see your comments,,, 

I... went outside my room. The corridors were pretty chilly... I guess I should really go outside, huh. What if I spread the curse here, though? If some ice were to be born here, to be blossoming peacefully, or furiously, no melting would even be bestowed upon them. Only my flames would remain. Only I will remain... somehow. The darkness were soothing, though. They don't burn, after all. I should ask someone to use dark magic to boost my computers, lol. Nevermind. I didn't meet anyone, of course. All of Ignihyde's students aren't giving a shit, anyway. If we were to come across each other, we would both stare at the void and walk as if no one was there. My legs hurt a bit, tho. Less than in PE and after PE and the day after but still... I walked for a few minutes at least. Maybe I was just hungry... I was so stressed I couldn't tell lmao. But the corridors were so quiet and chilly... I'm just annoyed our colors are black (tho it's not really a color) and blue... Can't blue just fucking disappear. Hmm... if blue were to "fucking disappear", Ortho would as well kflgldlnf,. I'm stupid. He even called me some... time ago, I think? I should check the hour from time to time... What if I miss some event???

My "date" with Silver is in 6 days, probably. Why would he call it a date if he doesn't know I'm in love, though... I guess Ortho really saw through me and wasn't joking with my Prince Ideal?! Is he going to shoot Truth Bullet in my face and make me the only victim of this love trial?! Six days, tho... I'll have to see Silver... I've already met him so it won't be as awkward as the first time but... Do I even have the right to love him, anyway? I probably have, but I can't fulfill my lovey dovey dream, LOL. Even if he were to love me... Even if he is a Prince... That's the way I should behave as the future Shroud Family Head. I should wed someone of my "rank". But if I do, how many responsibilities will be pushed upon our shoulders? I can not just marry him, that's right. But he is still a "prince". I won't ever wed a fucking prince. Wouldn't that mean fulfilling my kin's wish? I don't. fucking. want. to. I don't want to be a Shroud. I am just... Idia... I am just Idia... And if the prince's ideal was just something I started to wish after what happened back then? What if I don't really love Silver but just love his aura? That's it, right... Sorry, Ortho, I really can't be in love with Silver, huh. There's no way I truly love. That's just another delusion. I'm just a stupid kid. I'm just a stupid adult. Whatever. This delusion is sweet, huh? That will last some time. And it'll vanish. I can't love a prince since it would be a Shroud's fate. I want to love the Prince Charming since I want to be saved. Couldn't I just love the sweet and caring senpai ideal?! Guess I went the hardcore mode because I'm rich and used to opulence, lol. I still got six days... I guess Ortho will knock my door like hell when the time shall come, anyway. That makes me going outside at least five times to be prepared... Welp, I'll just play some games and read the lessons's content Ortho has sent me. Lol.

[Started Recording at : 11 am : Second??? Day]

[May contain fragments and shattered data]

[The user has deemed preferable to let them be.]

-LET'S FUCKIIIING GOOOOO

-What do you mean, dude? ... trying my best. No... really.... serious!

The room next to Ortho was definitely reflective of Idia's moods. His shouting and screaming and screeching and howling were as reversed as his flame hair. He was not a bother when he let his voice ramble... He was not annoying either.

-I'm... best DPS! Y'all can't outrun my skiiiiiiiiills!

He was just acting so happily. His little brother sat on the bed he had been offered by the school, in the room the school had offered him, in the world he had been offered. The covered by some shades of blue, very likely azure, bed, was probably soft.

-GOOD GAME y'ALLLLL! I'm... play... See y'all!

-Huh? If I want to stay in the... channel? Sure~! What do... wanna talk about, though?

He did not need to go outside to seek happiness. They knew about that. His flames barely had enough sense in existing, and could erase all of the logic they were looking for. This story did not make any sense. Should this story make sense? He was a half, after all. This should make sense. But why?

-Yeah, WyverneCastel? I.... yeah... need... later. If you can, ... course!

The next lesson would soon begin. It was better to stop Recording right now.

[Ended Recording at 11:30 am : Second??? Day]

Tbh, I only had good games so far. No Internet problems (of course, since I usually fix them, NRC is so fucking slow when it comes to administration and solving problems LOL), no Internet problems for my team, no server crash... I kind of like to solve little stuff like that, to be fair... Like, I didn't really use to when I was younger. Well, until a certain incident, of course... Maids and butlers would just bring sweets, cupcakes, forêt noire, macaron, lemon pie, millefeuille, sachertorte, éclair, tropézienne, chou à la crème, mochi, dango, baklava, Turkish delight, praline pie, crepes, waffles... No matter how dark and clean their suits and dresses were, none of them were exactly identical. I guess that's why I could recognize them, especially when I was small... I guess my parents just wanted to show off by telling others their servants could have a slightly customized outfit, or some kind of shit like that. It would probably cost a bit more than regular outfits they could just ordered at the same moment... Just because they had money, the "bit" was staying a "bit". I don't want to see them again... Their blue burning hair, like mine... I fucking hate it. I can't even dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye it. I can't dye... I can't change them... I can't change... I'm a cursed heir in love with someone who could be a prince but isn't at the same time. This story cannot end in a way or another. This doesn't make any sense, yet it does. Can it just be absolutely absurd? Give me some powers that don't make any sense. I want them. I don't want to be a Shroud. Welp, guess I'll go and check what Ortho did for the lessons. I'll probably go and take a "walk" after (that is, earning outside-resisting exp points to lvl up my skill).

Okay, so the "recordings" go as "The Seventh's history may seem simple at first, but do not forget that History is made by winners. They were the ones to win and if their people are living in, for the most, good conditions, it is yet to be proven that the means were as glorious as the results. If someone says something when speaking of History, try thinking about the opposite. It may end up interesting, although I cannot deny some FACTS exist in History itself, since an enormous sample of people were made to make sure that it was a "fact" and therefore, not a "speculation". Well, these facts could be denied since propaganda exists in our world, alas. But doubting everything will spread discord, and even lying can be used by leaders to prevent peoples from collapsing or killing each other."

Up to this point, I cannot say it's difficult. I mean, it's just almost a Civilization creative game, huh. I guess this is just the introduction or something like that, and that the "hard" part will come right after...

"The Queen of Hearts has made an abnormal lots of rules, for instance. Yet, her peoples did not dethrone her. Does that mean they like her? Well, this could be interpreted as "respect" from our point of view. But from someone else, they could actually fear her and fear the fact she has sent people to death. She held trials to judge them before sentencing them to death or other punishments, that is true. Yet, were that true trials or actually fake trials only meant to look like trials and fair justice? We do not have enough clues about whether she actually listened to mitigating factors or... . To keep going with this idea, ... also was judged when ... came to Wonderland. The trial was ... and yet almost ... ."

I'm not gonna lie, why the hell are there blanks? Ortho is always serious and meticulous. There's no way he can miss a single word. His ears are among the best of the world. I'm pretty sure he can fucking outrun all of Savanaclaw when it comes to earing (well, actually, he probably can outrun ANYONE since he's great). So if there are blanks... there are but a few reasons for that. Either he needs an urgent update, but this has NEVER occurred before since I've spent months to create a perfect calendar to never let him suffer the most insignificant flaw. Thus it can't be that. He could have been beaten up but that wouldn't make any goddamn sense. Who would even try to hurt him when I'm so neutral to anyone? I legit don't give a shit about what's going on in NRC. I'm not even sure I met the new student (if they're that new since I dunno when they have arrived lol)... This left me with two solutions.

Either Ortho was infected by a Virus, but nobody here has my hacking skills so it's very unlikely or... he has started recording more than expected and it's making its components slow down. I guess I won't have any choice but upgrade his memory next time we update him. The thing is... what the fuck is Ortho recording outside of our notes? He's probably doing something for my sake or...?! No, he wouldn't do something that twisted... He wouldn't!!! He wouldn't seek intel on Silver for my sake?! Go back Ortho! GO BAAAACK! You're a pure-hearted shota character, you shouldn't seek to change your condition or you may end in a fucking violent time loop! I don't think he's actually doing this... It would be weird for Ortho to act on this own on shady stuff like this. I guess he is trying to help me in a way... But what the fuck can he be recording... I'll think about it after checking the other days recordings. Maybe there weree already some parasite noises or something like that?

So, I've listened to the whole yesterday recordings, and even the one before yesterday (I just sped up his voice since I just wanted to be sure there were no vocal errors). I am.. pretty sure of it, now. Ortho did not have troubles until yesterday night at least. It seems it has begun during the second part of Trein's class, so it wouldn't be stupid to think that his memory is being more and more filled by "something else". I guess I will just ask him to only pick the key information and understand by himself what the teachers told him... It will take faaaar less room. I'm going to get out now, that's probably night. I hope it will be another chilly travel.

OKAY THIS DIDN'T GO AS PLANNED AT ALL. NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL, NOT AT ALL. I thought I'd take a stroll towards in the refectory since no one is supposed to be there at that time but I FUCKING FORGOT THAT NO ONE GIVES A FUCKING SHIT IN THIS FUCKING SCHOOL?! I even thought of taking some food if there were some leftovers so that I could award myself from getting out of my room (cause honestly walking is boring as fuck, I'd rather walk in Skyrim, at least I can hear my leather boots on the ground, lol)... Of course people would have been there. But when I got out of my room, the chilly ascension kept on telling me to move forward.  Everything was covered in darkness, to the point I thought my flames would become that of a raven, finally. I took several steps, no matter what the light piercing my skull did. The gleam may try to bath the corridor of their blue burning halo, there were too much potential icicles ready to kill it. I just wanted the chill atmosphere to let me walk, and somehow it ended up this way. For now, my flames were too weak to even absorb the ice before absorbing their waters. I wish for it to weaken to the point my sparks die. I want to walk on that silver lake too... I don't want to fly above. I don't want to sink beneath. I want... to walk on it. To swim through it.

Basically, by the time I got to the refectory (always fucking heavily decorated, like what the hell, luxurious chandeliers????), I realized I made a mistake. There were at least two potential people going there at least once a week. From the moment I heard their voices, this was too fucking late. Trey and Jamil were arguing, somehow? I didn't even think it was possible for these two to argue... I mean, Trey is the cool glasses trope and Jamil is obviously the tortured-but-actually-cunning-and-not-that-bad one. How could they even argue? Well, not that I knew if it had happened before. Cater could post a lot of stuff on Magicam (and yet that wasn't even shitpost...), lol. But I don't remember seeing stuff on Trey badmouthing Jamil or the other way round... Trey was the kind to avoid troubles at all cost, especially since he was under Riddle's influence... I would behave the same, tho I would never have been vice-dorm-leader lmao (well im already dorm head and it's already a fucking pain in the ass, thanks)... I tried to escape but it was too late... I guess that's what I get for playing with my burning curse. They asked me what was I doing there, though they probably were not surprised of my walking "hours". They seemed so suspicious of myself that it was not an ordinary situation. Usually, they would maybe have greeted me... That's all. They began asking me if I was the one stealing the food. Even if my answer was clear, even shaky, none of them would accept it. I was... after all... fire. Fire and water never meddled. Even if I pushed my body to repeating the same answer under different shapes since I may have had a bad locution... They wouldn't listen to me. At some point, I even told them I would find the criminal later and that I would just record some little things they would say to me before going back to my dorm, but they wouldn't even let me go.

-Well, you see, Shroud, there were supposed to be some yakitori, curry portions and blanquette de veau left. All of them disappeared. Although I think it would be hard for you to eat all of this, your health habit seems bad enough to let you eat nothing for several days then compensate suddenly by a huge chunk of food. Am I wrong?

Jamil wasn't especially agressive toward myself, though I know he probably doesn't like me. Who likes me in this ocean, anyway. They were not fishes like Octacreepnelle, but more of... water elementals, I guess. Or maybe barely humans able to seize water and flowing into rivers. They could merge into this part I couldn't access. Of course I would be forever different and... hated as such. Very likely.

-I am sorry to interrupt you, Mr Viper, but I don't think Shroud is the responsible. I know for sure he has a sweet tooth, and yet, most of the sweets are actually there. Except some of the biggest cakes, everything is more or less there.

I would have rather prefered Trey not to reveal my weakness to the enemy, but he was also trying to protect me in a way. Trey is probably actually more of the hero in disguise trope...! Just kidding. But up to this point, they had so many proofs and yet were clueless and even daring to choose me as the culprit...

-The culprit isn't me, isn't Trey and isn't Jamil...

-Heh?

-How can you be so sure about that, Shroud?

-E-eh... You suddenly rely on me so much... Guess I'm good as long as I can be useful, huh... But you won't let me go if I don't spit the truth so... Basically, all of the sweets, which are tiny and not good for health, are left. Then, we can conclude it's neither of you because you would have picked up ingredients, not food itself, or at least not Trey since he probably values a lot baking and improving.

-T-That's true...

-Then, that could be Jamil... But why would he come again if he already has stolen that much? And from what I know, Jamil prefers to cook because of some dark poison stories, right?

-Y-yes, I cannot deny that...

-Then, it is neither Trey nor Jamil. About myself, I try to stay in my room as much as I can, and I'm pretty sure Ortho only go to the refectory during the authorized hours since he is much more reliable than I am. But why would anyone steal so much food in the first place? If it were for one person, one or two dishes would have been sufficient. Moreover, let's say it again, the sweets were not stolen. So the person who stole... didn't pick up what they wanted by love of good food! They stole it because they needed it.

-Hmm... I wouldn't disagree with you, Shroud but.. I am pretty sure I got a letter from Jamil telling me I had to get here at 10 pm...

-Excuse me, Clover? Aren't you the one who sent the letter?

-And that solves the mystery. There is someone who planned on stealing food, knew that you were the only two going for sure in the refectory during night and set you up.

-Wait, who dares to do such a personnal attack against Scarabia?

-It is very likely that the culprit is... Ruggie Bucchi from Savanaclaw.

-Wait.. that would actually make sense...?!

-Especially since he didn't get a lunch earlier... I guess he planned on pleading for hunger if someone was to catch him during the act. And so he sets us up by delivering letters on different hours, and not by his own hands... Wait this level of intellect is almost that of Azul... Ruggie Bucchie is really cunning and... worthy of praise in a sense.

-Hm, that would definitely make sense since he is always the one to get the leftovers in the refectory before the holidays to help the people of his town. I did not expect you to be that useful, Shroud.

-Heh, you're talking to the one who solved Hinamizawa and Rokkenjima's mysteries on the second parts of each, of course I can do such petty investigation.

-Well... thanks... on the behalf of... Scarabia. I am going.

Jamil just left, but tbh I don't really know why. I guess he wanted some time alone before going back to Kalim. At a certain point of my childhood, I had tried to ask less and less to maids and butlers since they all worked so hard. They probably wanted some freedom too. And... I wanted to learn things for myself, too.

-Oh, Shroud, since you've helped us a lot... And... you've thought of how hard I work on my cakes... I want to make you one as an award. And it must have been hard for you to speak to us. Ask me anything and I'll bring you a cake, my best cake, when you want me to give it to you.

-H-h-h-h-huh? I mm-m-m—mean it's really nice b-b-b-but I...

-That's okay, take your time, I won't scream or shout on you just because you're different from others.

-I... I... thanks... Thanks... But... Shouldn't y-y-y-y-you be paid for that...? I mean, you're a kind of artist, and artists should be p-p-p-paid, r-r-r-ight?

His face certainly moved. But why? Was it on its own, or an order, a semi-order, even? I couldn't tell whether his mouth was smiling or if he was smirking, or the other way around. His limbs were linked like any of the sea-universe kin. So, if he were to makes any action, it should be on purpose... but that would be far too easy and stupid.

-Yeah, sure, but you paid me by solving a big trouble. Of course, depending on what you ask, the fees could overcome the wish I had, and thus you would have to pay a supplement.

I had already asked him about the fees and talked about artist respect. I couldn't possibly go beyond what he would offer me since I, for once, had gathered experience on this one, right...

-Please... Can I have a... I hope it won't sound weird... grey and blue cake? With some hard candies on the top...

-Wow! That's an original idea, I like it! Sure, I'll make it. Blueberries and hmm... I guess some white chocolate, maybe some Turkish Delight if I'm in for it... I'll try to make something unique for you! When should I give it to you?

-I-in... five days, if it's fine with you... I really don't want to bother you, you're already so nice and patient with me...

-That's okay, I'll bring it in five days to the Ignihyde Dorm! But the hard candies and the Turkish Delight may make the cake harder to make... Since you're a Dorm Leader and I don't want Riddle to have troubles with you, could attend at least one PE class? That would make up for it.

-Y-y-y-y-y—yeah, sure.