#i really really wanna live many more years please

[ashisill]

Colorado woman

Warnings: (Abusive past relationship, past relationship trauma, illusions to sexual trauma,language, slight ptsd, drinking, smoking, and I believe thats all. If I missed any feel free to let me know)

Summary: Josh had given up on looking for a partner. After the last woman he swore he’d never love again. After two years of being alone his brothers started to believe him. They decided to take matters into their own hands. Lucky for them his dream woman awaits in Colorado … you.

: This is the longest fic I’ve ever written, so please give me a little bit to fix any mistakes!

~

“Let’s go out Josh. We can go to that bar Sam loves, and find you a partner. Or at least someone to fill that void”

“How many times have I told you? I don’t want a relationship. The last thing I want is to find someone drunk at a bar. Gross”

“Jeez Joshua look at you. You’ve lived at my house for two weeks now. Admit it your starting to get lonely and you don’t like it”

He laughed out loud “I’m not lonely I just don’t want to be stuck at my house all the time. Is that so bad?

“You have been sleeping in my spare room for two weeks. That’s a lot different than wanting to get out of the house for a while”

“I mean I’ll leave if your kicking me out” He laughed it off.

“That not what I’m saying Josh. Tell me what’s your type?”

“Don’t have one. I’m not like you Jake. I like to do my own thing. I wouldn’t be happy tied down to anyone”

“I’ve been doing my own thing for eight years, and my relationship is thriving”

“Well congratulations. That’s you not me. I promise you the last thing I want is a relationship”

“Then make it a fling, but for gods sake put yourself out there”

“You know I don’t see how this is any of your business or concern”

“I want you to be happy Josh, and I know that you’re not. You can brush me off like you always do, but you are lonely and it scares you. You know I don’t care if you stay with me, but you shouldn’t have to. You’re like damn near depressed all the time and that worries me Josh”

“Do you what scares me more? Getting into a relationship and everything being the same as the last one. I’d rather be lonely than risk having to feel like that again”

“Now was it that hard to open up to me? You’re not even looking. I’m not saying you have to jump into anything, but when’s the last time you’ve tried?”

“I have tried they just never work out”

“Josh you haven’t tried since … her”

“And so fucking what? You know what Jake but out. You’re not helping. All you’ve done is bitch at me” Jake just stared at him “what?”

“Josh” he placed a hand on his shoulder “All I’m trying to say is don’t give up looking. Don’t shut everyone out because you’re afraid. I want to see the light come back to your eyes. Because right now Josh I’ve never seen you so dull. Keep an open mind that’s all”

He sighed rubbing the back of his neck “Okay Jake”

~

“Do you think we should teach them more tricks?” Sam said to his girlfriend Hannah as they watched the dogs play in the yard. They heard the doorbell ring. “I got it last time” Hannah said.

Sam opened the door surprised to see who it was. “Didn’t expect you today what’s up?”

“I need to talk to you about Josh”

He took Jake to the backyard where they were sitting. “What’s up? Is he okay?”

“Sam he’s been staying at my house for two weeks. Not that I mind him there what so ever, but I worry for him. He needs someone new in his life. Hell at this point he needs a friend at least”

He looked at his girlfriend puzzled, and she spoke “he stayed at our place a few weeks ago. Sometimes he comes over for dinner as well”

“He’s scared because of that bitch. I hate her for everything she’s done to him”

“I mean I’m sure he is scared after all that. She practically abused him id probably give up for a while too”

“But it’s Josh the most loving person we know. He’s wasting all of his potential he needs someone. He’s not happy I’ve never seen his eyes so sad”

“You really wanna risk it again? We don’t know everything he went through in the first place. I think we just need to let him figure this out”

“It’s been almost two years Sam. He won’t do it himself”

“He’ll be fine we shouldn’t push him. If he gets hurt again it’s all our fault. I don’t want that guilt on my chest”

“I’m with Jake on this one. The last time Josh was over we smoked together. He got very upset, and was kinda spilled a lot to me. I promised him I wouldn’t tell, but Jake’s right I think he needs helps”

“That’s what I came here for thank you. Do we know of anyone?”

Sam sighed “There’s that one girl that we met at that festival”

“You want him with a junkie?”

“She wasn’t a junkie!”

“Sam honey you’re oblivious. I know someone that might be perfect. Only thing is she lives in Colorado”

“Josh always says he wants to live in the mountains. What’s she like?”

“Well she’s currently kinda in the same situation as him. Rough love life scared to move on. He would fall in love instantly. She’s beautiful”

“Personality?” Jake asked “she better be an angel”

“Just picture Josh, but as a female. I’d say she’s a more little outgoing than him. She reminds me of him a lot, but they are very different in their own ways”

“Good start” Jake said nodding his head.

“She very soft spoken. Overall she’s just a very kind hearted person. She’s the only person I know that would never hurt him”

“You’re positive she’s single?” Sam asked

“Yes she always says she talks to her dogs more than people. She lives alone, but says she hates being alone. She loves company because she doesn’t get it much living out in the mountains. I just know she would love Josh. They fit each other”

“Well you know it’s convenient that we’re off tour. How the hell are we getting Josh to Colorado?”

“I can talk to her. She would adore everyone coming out there. Let me see when she’s free” she stepped inside to make a phone call.

“Josh has always handled himself, but I’m watching him fall apart. He doesn’t act like himself anymore. He’s not content. When he’s home he’s pacing around the house. Or he’ll leave and distract himself for hours” Jake told his brother.

“I guess I didn’t realize how bad it’s gotten. He puts on a show for everyone. I suppose I wasn’t able to see through it like you did”

“The last thing I want is for him to get hurt again. He just needs his confidence back”

Hannah returned with a smile “everyone free next week?”

~

“Colorado?” Josh questioned picking at his fingers “why out of the blue?”

“My friend invited us to come stay with her for a week” Hannah said convincingly.

“Who’s your friend?” Josh asked perking up an eyebrow.

“Well her name is y/n, and I haven’t seen her in a while. She invited me and Sam, but we thought you guys might want to come”

“I don’t suppose I have anything better to do. Next week you said?”

Hannah got excited when he agreed. “Yes next week, and we will leave early that morning. This is gonna be so much fun!”

~

The air was cool, the green of the leaves was almost gone, and they were minutes away from arrival. A cozy little cabin in the middle of nowhere. Just you, and your dogs. You’ve spent the past week cleaning, stocking up on food, and preparing your house for guests. It’s not often you get them. Living so far away from everything your use to being alone. You would be lying if you said you weren’t beyond excited. You heard serval cars disrupt the once peaceful gravel road. Your dog’s ears perked up as you all headed towards the door. You hoped they wouldn’t be afraid of the large dogs that causally lounge around your home. You took a breath and opened the door.

“Why am I nervous?” Josh whispered to Jake.

“New place new person. Hannah said she’s a lot like you so maybe you’ll get along well”

“This isn’t a set up is it?”

He laughed “You think I would take you all the way to Colorado to set you up?”

“Yes … yes I do”

He sighed “well I didn’t. It’s just a trip Hannah invited us on. I know as much as you do. Just relax it will be fun”

He squinted his eyes at him “whatever you say”

You stood on the porch watching as they all unloaded from the cars.

“Y/n!” Hannah ran up hugging you.

“I missed you so much. I’m so happy you’re here!”

“This is Sam my boyfriend”

“I know you” you giggled “heard lots”

“Good things I hope. This is my bestie Danny”

“Hi Danny. Your hair so curly I’m jealous”

“Thank you” he laughed.

“This is Jake and his girlfriend” They waved at you, and you smiled back.

“And this is Josh”

“Oh” you paused “hello I’m y/n”

“Nice to meet you” he said quietly.

Maybe you were crazy, but you felt a connection. You known him for five seconds but you feel drawn to him. His fluffy hair that his fingers nervously ran through. His sense of style was definitely your taste. He was more soft spoken than the rest. You liked that a lot. He just had this air about him that made you want to know him.

You invited everyone inside, and you realized it was already late in the afternoon. You showed them around your place before the sun started to set. Everyone started to settle in and feel more at home.

“Very lovely place you got” Jake said admiring the cozy atmosphere.

“Thank you it’s Jake right?” You asked.

“Correct” he gave you a wink.

“I don’t wanna be that person, but where are we sleeping?” Sam asked.

“Sam don’t be rude” Josh corrected.

“No worries. So I only have one guest bedroom so the couples will have to fight over that” you laughed. “There’s an air mattress, and a couch”

“We call the bedroom” Jake shouted smiling at his girlfriend.

“Oh fuck you” Sam rolled his eyes.

“I mean he did say it first” Danny laughed.

“I promise the air mattress won’t deflate on you in the middle of the night. It was quite the investment”

“Then we call the air mattress” Sam said.

“I never mind sleeping on a couch. I’m used to it” Danny laughed.

Josh becoming worried “I guess I’ll be sleeping on the couch too?”

“No you’re sleeping on the floor Joshua” Danny said shaking his head. “No way in hell am I sleeping on a couch with you”

“Thank god I don’t have to share a bed with him” Jake said. “Tired of waking up with bruises”

“Rough sleeper?” You asked

They all laugh “absolutely. I used to be forced to share a bed with him when we were little I never got any sleep. He tossed and turned all night, and he kicks you … hard. Cons of being a twin”

“I’ve been slapped a few times” Sam said.

“I’m sorry did you say twins?”

“Yeah can you tell?” He joked.

“You know I can definitely see it”

“I don’t mind sleeping on the floor” Josh sighed

“Poor Josh” you said.

“Poor josh? What about the victims” Jake said making the room laugh.

“Well we can figure it out later. I’m not letting you sleep on the floor that’s for sure” you say to him. “Here’s the remote. Turn on whatever you’d like. Also there’s beer and stuff in the fridge” you said going into the kitchen to start on dinner.

Danny got up grabbing enough for everyone. You could definitely tell who the siblings were. As Jake and Sam bickered over the remote. Danny tried to intervene between the two. Which ended with a pissed off sam, and a cocky smirk from Jake.

Josh rolled his eyes, and walked into the kitchen. “Need some help?”

“Oh you don’t have to do all that”

“I don’t mind really” his eyes shifted to the potato’s lying in the countertop. “I could peel those if you needed”

“That would be lovely thank you”

It started out in comfortable silence. Only speaking to confirm he’s doing right. As he watched the sun set from the window his mind began to wonder.

“So” he cleared his throat. “how long have you lived in Colorado?”

“Well I visited when I was 15 fell in love, and I moved when I was 19. Been here ever since, and I wouldn’t change it for the world. You’re from Nashville?”

“Not by choice” he laughed “originally I’m from Michigan, but with the band and all. We had to move closer to the studio and stuff”

“How’s that all going?”

“The band? It’s been a lot to be honest. Rewarding, but exhausting. I’m just glad we’re on a break from tour”

“I don’t know how you do it every night. I can barely work without getting drained”

“You figure it out eventually I suppose. Knife?”

“Top drawer. What’s it’s like traveling the world, and playing to people every night”

“It never gets boring I’ll say that. When you’re up there looking out into the crowd. They love you with all their heart. It’s like they understand you in a sense. You can really feel the love up on that stage. It makes up for the exhaustion I suppose”

“That sounds beautiful. Maybe I’ll get to come to a show one day”

“So what made you invite everyone out here? Gotta be an adjustment from peace and quiet all the time”

“Oh it wasn’t my idea. I’m glad everyone came out though it’s nice to have a change”

“Oh? I was told something different wonder why” he thought it over in his head

“Well now I’m curious what you were told”

“The story was that you invited Hannah, and she invited us”

“She called me” you laughed hard. “That’s a silly thing to lie about”

He knew. He knew exactly why they lied. He knew Jake lied to his face in the car. Now that he’s met you he knows exactly why they’ve brought him here. You. Now he would be lying if his said his heart wasn’t skipping beats right now. Only now that he’s figured it out his nerves are shot.

“Good thing this cooks pretty slow so we can go relax for a while”

He followed you to the couch and hesitantly sat down beside you. His eyes shifted from the movie to picking at his finger, and back to the movie. He had scabs around his fingers from it. You could tell he was on edge a little bit. Something changed since your talk in the kitchen but you didn’t know what. He seemed nervous around you now. Although you couldn’t understand why you knew what might help. “Do you smoke?”

He nodded his head with a smile “me and Josh are gonna smoke if anyone wants to join”

You walked outside and a few of them followed. Passing it in a circle and making small talk. Josh took a drag off the joint and closed his eyes. Blowing it out and nodding his head. “Damn that’s good shit”

“Told you so” you laughed as he handed it to you.

“It’s so pretty out here. Wish I lived in the mountain” Danny said admiring the view.

“I couldn’t imagine living anywhere else” you said. “Shit I left my drink inside be right back”

“Jacob Tomas Kiszka” Josh said stern. “You brought me here to hook me up?”

“I already told you I wouldn’t-”

“I made the mistake of asking her. She said this wasn’t her idea to invite us out. Instead she got a phone call from Hannah”

“Josh listen” he said before Hannah cut him off.

“We were worried about you Josh. She’s in the same situation you are. Give her a chance”

“How did you know? How did you know we would click? Because I’ve never- I’ve never done that with anyone”

“I just knew”

They were quick to end the conversation when you walked back outside. You all stayed outside for a while passing the joint around. They gave you the last hit, and you threw the roach out into the yard. After everyone was done eating dinner the night started to get fun. Everyone had a good buzz going, and the house was lively. Josh started to come out of his shell, talking louder, and with more excitement. “My god you guys are funny” you went into the kitchen to make another drink. Josh followed you also needing a refill.

“Doing alright?” He asked you.

“Haven’t been this messed up in a while” you laughed.

“How are you feeling?”

“I’m almost to your level” he smiled. “I never told you but-”

“Y/n holy shit! You got more weed? I feel fucking great” drunk Sam comes shouting in the kitchen

You laughed “go into my room and there’s like 4 laying on the tv stand” you paused waiting for Sam to leave. “Never told me what?”

“Oh never mind” he waved a hand in the air.

“But-”

“Y/n” Sam came back in tugging at your shirt. “Come smoke with us”

“Fine. Josh you coming?”

“I think I’ll set this one out” he smiled at you.

“Josh is sweet” you said sitting outside with Sam and Hannah.

“Oh he’s a sweetheart” she said.

“I can tell” you put the joint between your lips and lit the tip.

“Single” Sam said and Hannah gently smacked him. “What? It’s true”

“Oh”

“He’s been through a lot relationship wise, but so have you” Hannah said.

“Don’t let him fool you he’s not always that quiet”

“Well neither am I” you laughed “he seems nervous”

“I suppose he is” Sam said taking a hit “he has been just kinda down recently. Plus his ex kinda took his self confidence from him”

“I guess he just gets lonely a lot, and it’s catching up to him” Hannah said.

“I know how that feels” you said pointing to the mountains “it’s just me and my dogs out here”

“It’s got its perks I would assume” Hannah said.

“Oh yeah definitely” you stared for a moment “he’s cute”

“Think so?” Hannah asked excitedly.

“He has kind eyes. I like his hair it’s fluffy. He just seems so nice”

“All I’m gonna say is he’s interested”

Josh sat on the couch with his brother. “Has she said anything to you? About like me or anything?”

Jake laughed “no but I can tell she’s taking a liking to you”

“Oh definitely” Danny chimed in “how do you feel about her?”

“I dunno she just kinda has this glow around her, and I wanna be part of the light”

They looked at each other and started laughing “oh he’s in love Danny”

“She seems perfect for you. Gonna thank me or what?” Jake teased taking a sip from his drink.

“Yeah yeah whatever”

“So what move are you going to make? Let’s get this started right?” Danny asked.

“Yeah you’re funny. I’m done making the moves. If it’s meant to be then it will be”

They both rolled their eyes “well shit”

“Hi” you said slamming open the door. It was obvious by your state that you were pretty messed up. “Joshua. Can I call you Joshua?”

“If you’d like” he turned to look at you. You plopped down beside him on the couch.

“Joshua!” You shouted “I have an idea”

He jumped when you yelled his name. Laughing about how you startled him. “What’s your idea?”

You shuffle through your phone looking for a song. When you found the perfect one you jumped to your feet. “Wanna dance with me?”

He smiled, and he cheeks blushed pink. “I would love to dance with you.

You wrapped your arms around his neck, and his hands held your waist. “oh shit. I’m so sorry I stepped in your toes”

He smiled down at you “don’t worry about it darling”

“Darling? I like that” you laid your head on his chest. He danced you around your living room. By the time it was over almost everyone had joined. It was magical to see your house so lively and full of love.

“You made me dizzy” you giggled and sat down on the couch. Your head laid on his shoulder and you begun to get sleepy. Danny went into action being the dad of the group. Helping Jake as he stumbled into the guest room. He helped Sam blow up the air mattress, and grabbed blankets for everyone. He filled up a glass of water and sat it on Jake’s bedside table. Making sure everyone had a least a little water to drink before bedtime.

“What we gonna do about you?” You turned to Josh. “Want to sleep with me?”

“Good luck sleeping” Danny joked.

“Oh he won’t bother me I’m a deep sleeper. Nothing wakes me up”

“They’re not wrong. I don’t wanna hurt you in your own bed”

“Joshua shut up” Sam whispered.

You laughed at his attempt to help his brother “come on Josh”

“Are you sure I mean I-”

“Josh shut up” Sam and Danny said in unison.

You reached out your hand, and he grabbed it. He headed into the room “you’re room is cute”

“Thank you most the decor is diy or thrifted”

“They look amazing. Did you make this?”

He took interest in the large painting on the wall. You nodded “yes I love to paint”

“That’s so impressive. I love art myself, but I could never make anything like this”. He gently ran his fingers on the edge of the painting.

Your cheeks now bright red, and a soft smile on your lips “thank you Josh. I’m sure you could do better”

“Definitely not. I’m not really a painter. I design my own stage clothes. I sketch what I want it to look like, and then somebody makes it. I like it because it’s always exactly how I want it to be. I take inspiration from all kinds of stuff, and make it into one thing. It’s more than just an outfit really. It’s almost like another person when I put them on”

“Like each outfit is its own art piece? It’s like painting. When you’re in a good mood your art is going to distribute something completely different than if you were gloomy. The paintings are entirely different it’s almost as if different people painted them.”

“That’s exactly it! You understand” he smiles.

“Artists to artists of course I understand”

You let him look around a bit longer before excusing yourself to go change. When you came back he was still looking at the painting. He had pajama pants on with a white sleeved shirt. You tripped over your feet walking into the room. Stumbling around, and your vision was getting blurry. “Stumbling around a little. You okay?”

“Hmm” you reached for his shoulder to stabilize yourself. Without much thought he picked you up. Tucking you into the bed, and lying down beside you.

“If I hurt you or keep you up please wake me up. I don’t mind sleeping on the floor. I just-”

“Shh you’re not gonna bother me. Stop stressing about it. I can tell this is something people might have made you feel bad about”

“Yeah well try hurting the people you love and have no control over it”

A lazy finger pressed against his lip “shh don’t worry about it. Joshua”

You both laid there in silence trying to drift away. The silence was deadly, and you tossed and turned. Unable to fall asleep, and your mind raced about the man next to you. In a whisper you spoke “Josh”

Sleepy he replied “yes?”

“Can you hold me?”

“I would love nothing more”

When the sun started to rise you two were the last ones awake. Jake crept open the door worried you might have ended up on the floor. Instead he found you tangled up together. The sheets hanging off the bed, and he was holding you protectively.

“Sam come here … look” Jake said pointing at the two of you.

He poked his head through the door “awe they look so cozy”

“I wonder how long they’ve been like that”

“All he needed was a cuddle buddy I guess” Sam said.

You started to stir as the sun shined through the curtains. “Shit” they giggled and shut the door.

Josh’s eyes peeked opened to you lying across him. He closed his eyes for a moment taking it in. You were you wrapped around him tightly. One leg hiked across his waist, and the other twisted in his leg. Your arm laid across his chest, and so was your head. He was loving every minute of you. Wishing this moment would never end. However, you started to wake up. His grip was strong hopeful you wouldn’t move. You looked up at him and smiled. “Good morning”

“Good morning. Sleep okay?” He asked.

“I slept amazing. You?”

“Best sleep I’ve got in a while”

“Your so warm that’s probably why I slept so good. It’s usually freezing in here. I wasn’t all over you too much right?”

“Not too much at all. Been a while since well you know”

“Feels nice to be held. What happened to the sheets?”

“Not sure about that one”

His eyes were glowing, and his face had a smile you haven’t seen before. Dosing off a little bit with the warmth of his body. You’ve never felt so comfortable in your life. The sheets felt like honey on your skin. You wondered if you found heaven, or at least peace. You two laid tangled up together for at least an hour. Realizing the time you sighed, and climbed out of your side of heaven. The two of you stumbled into the living room. “Well good morning love bugs” Sam teased which resulted in another playful smack from his girl. “Leave them alone” she whispered.

“Checked for bruises?” Danny said.

“I don’t think he moved one bit. Except the kick the sheets off. Or maybe that was me” you shrugged your shoulders.

“Maybe all he needed was someone to hold” Jake said.

His face turned bright red and his eyes got big “oh my god shut up. How did you know that?”

“I have my ways”

“Creep” Josh rolled his eyes.

You giggled at him, and walked into the kitchen. You opened the container of coffee grounds and put it into the maker. Making a pot then going to your bedroom to get dressed. Jake and Josh were talking in the kitchen as they drank their coffee.

“So” he paused taking a sip “seems to be going well”

“Last night was the first night I didn’t wake up in the middle of the night”

“Is that why you’ve been up doing fuck knows what?”

“Yeah I’d wake up at like three in the morning and I could never go back to sleep. So I’d get up and start doing stuff”

“You’ve scared the shit out of me when I walk downstairs to get water, and you’re standing in the kitchen. You really gotta go back home bud”

“I know I know. Hey maybe I won’t have too” he joked.

“Gonna become a mountain man?”

Josh talks with his hands that’s very obvious. What he doesn’t do is pay attention to where his hands fly around. The conversation has peeked his interest, and when his hands flare out he hits the open container. Coffee grounds go everywhere. Josh’s face turns white, and he starts to panic.

“Oh fuck” he repeated over and over. “Here we go. It was going so good, and I’ve fucked it all up”

“Josh it’s just coffee grounds I’m sure she’ll understand it was an accident”

“You don’t understand Jake. Do you not fucking remember?”

“I remember, but she nothing like her. She won’t get mad I’m sure of it”

“I’ve ruined everything. Why am I like this Jake?”

“You haven’t done anything wrong. Josh you’ve been the best I’ve seen you in so long. Let’s not lose progress over coffee grounds …. Josh”

Still he panicked, hyperventilating, going into his head and -

“Josh how fucking stupid are you?”

“I’m sorry it was an accident I’ll pick it up”

“I just fucking poured that drink. You are fucking useless”

“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to. I’ll clean it up”

“Why am I even with you? Your so damn pathetic”

“It was just an accident”

“Shut the hell up and pick it up. I don’t need to hear your whining”

“I’m trying but your yelling at me”

“Are you gonna fucking cry about it? Go ahead cry see if I give a shit Josh”

“Josh!”

“Huh?”

“Did you hear me? She’s gonna get the broom for us”

“You told her? Why would you do that? We could of figured it out”

“Josh breathe. Take a damn breath. I’m gonna say it again she’s isn’t like her”

“Oh no what happened?” you said walking into the kitchen.

“I’m so sorry it was an accident I’ll clean it up”

“Oh no worries. Shit happens” you waved a hand in the air.

“I’m so sorry I-” his fingers ran through his hair. Processing your response he looked at you confused “Wait what did you say?” he said softly.

“I said shit happens. I’d be a fool to get mad over something so small. Go sit down I’ve got it”

He looked at his brother confused. “You’re not mad? Why aren’t you mad? I spilled this everywhere”

“Don’t beat yourself up. I’m clumsy as hell. Always spilling stuff. Go sit down” you handed him his coffee cup “here. Go take a breath”

Josh exited the room, and you turned to Jake for some answers. “Jake” you whispered.

“What’s up?” He grabbed the broom as you held the dust pan.

“Is he okay? Why did he get so upset?”

He swept the grounds into the dust pan. His face shifted to an almost confused look. Then you thought maybe it was an angry one. But his eyes looked hurt, and watched him quietly.

He sighed “his ex is a horrible person. She treated him like shit, and made him feel bad when he made a mistake. I don’t know everything, but I know she did get physical sometimes”

“That’s horrible he doesn’t deserve that”

“No he doesn’t. There was a trip we were on and he spilled her drink on accident. She cussed him out, and called him all these names. He was cleaning it up and she kicked him with her boot. I got a little rough shoving her away from him, but it should have never happened. He stayed and I don’t know why. I think he was afraid to leave her. It was like an intervention I swear. We all sat with him and told him he deserved better, and we helped him break it off”

“But he’s so sweet how could anyone treat him that way? I want to fix this”

He sighed again, and you could tell something was weighing on him “can I tell you the truth?”

You nodded, and he spoke “your the reason we’re here. We thought maybe you two would hit it off. We were worried for him … very worried. Josh has always been the most outgoing person, and it hurt watching him fade. Hannah said that you were single, and it was just a hunch. We just wanted to help him. I’m sorry I don’t want to pressure you”

“So that’s why everyone lied to him” now it made sense. “I don’t click with people. There’s never been a person I felt instantly connected too. Except yesterday when I laid eyes on Josh. It’s been a day, but I’m glad you brought him here. We’re both wounded, and because of that I think we can heal each other. Thank you Jake”

You decided to put there plan in motion. You got up to find Josh “Hey follow me”

You went out the gate and started walking down a rocky path. He didn’t ask where you were taking him nor did he care. He watched as the dogs switched between walking beside you to scanning the area ahead. You never minded the dogs running off when on your walks. You got closer to the mountains and Josh’s eyes began to glow. You hiked down to the river. A deep spot that nearly looked like a pond. The mountain ran above it making the spot secluded. “Look at this place. It’s breathtaking”

“It never fails to impress me. The waters cold I don’t usually get to swim. I just come here to relax”

He reached his hands in the water “I mean it’s not that cold”

“Wanna get in then tough guy?”

He reached to remove his shirt “wait!”. You took off running and he ran after you.

You made it to the top of the smallest cliff. “Your kidding me right?”

“What? Are you scared?” You teased him.

“Maybe a little. Sure it’s deep enough?”

Rolling your eyes at him you asked “do you trust me?”

“I do”

You took your shirt off revealing a lacy white bra, and panties to match. He looked away quickly, but his face already turned red. “It’s okay” you giggled

“Sorry” he said with his eyes glued to the ground.

“Don’t be. Human nature ya know. You’re turn”

He removed his shirt, and stripped down to his boxers. You placed your hands on his shoulders grabbing his attention “Listen whatever we went through let’s try to move past it. I’ve been scared too Josh. For two years I was afraid of any interaction with a man. I could barely go places by myself”

“What happened? Only if your comfortable to answer”

“Started at a party my drink got spiked. I don’t remember anything or if anything happened to me. I thought it was because he like me so I started dating him. He would hurt me often. I thought it was normal, and I convinced myself he loved me. The cycle continued until my friends got me help. It was relationship after relationship, and it was all the same. That’s what I thought I deserved I suppose. I’m still in therapy and I continue to get better every day”

“I guess it was my first serious relationship. Or so I thought, but I meant nothing to her. I never dated much in high school. All she did was yell at me. I couldn’t spend enough on her. It was never enough. She would hit me and it’s not that it hurt that bad. It hurt more knowing she wanted to harm me. I loved her, and she wanted nothing more than to hurt me. My brothers got me away from her thank goodness. I’m also in therapy I never thought it would help, but it has. And I know I’m so awkward, but it’s almost as if I don’t know how to act. No one’s ever been as gentle with me as you are”

“We will heal together. This jump is us letting go”

You reach out your hand, and counted down. With no hesitation he jumped with you. Falling farther than he thought, and his body rushed with adrenaline. You both hit the cold water, and gasp coming back up. He slicked his hair back, and tried to catch his breath. “I take it back this water is freezing”

“That was so fun Josh” you shouted holding his shoulders. “Oh my god I feel so alive. Do you feel it Josh?”

He nodded his head and wrapped his arms around your waist. You threw your arms on his neck. “Yeah I feel it”

You held on to him tight, feeling his heart beat against yours. You stayed in the water far too long in this cool weather. You just couldn’t make yourself let go. You put your forehead against his. “Can I kiss you?”

He smiled softly “I would love that”

You leaned in placing your lips to his. Your body felt warm for a minute. Like a shock of electricity ran through your veins. Your lips moved against him. You let the last kiss drag out before you pulled back “I cant feel my toes”

“I can’t feel a lot of things” he said, and you busted out laughing. You hiked back up to the top to grab your clothes and headed towards the house. You were shivering and your teeth were chattering. When you arrived back at the house you couldn’t feel a thing. Everyone was sitting outside, and their neck snapped around to look at you two.

“What the hell happened to you guys?” Jake asked

“Oh you know we just jumped off a cliff. No biggie” Josh teased.

“We left you two alone for an hour and you jump off a cliff” he laughed.

“I’m gonna go change, and start the fire” you kissed his cheek.

Causing everyone’s jaws to drop. “Did she just-?”

Everyone gasped excitedly, and Josh just seemed to glow. He nodded his head proudly, and started to tell the story. His hands were flying everywhere as he spoke in detail.

“Hot chocolates on the stove, and the fire has been started”

“Actually that sounds quite nice” Jake said.

As the temperature dropped everyone piled in the house. Laying around the living room with hot chocolate in hand. A cozy movie playing, and the lights turned down.

You turned off the stove, and stepped into the living room. Looking around the room seeing everyone so content. You just smiled wishing it could be like this forever. He noticed your giddy smile “Come here love”

You cuddled up beside him, and he threw the blanket over you two. The house was warm, and everyone was completely relaxed. You felt as if you were melting into Josh. You thought this might be the most comfortable you’ve ever been. Your eyes started to get heavy, and before you knew it sleep had taken over.

You feared for the end of this week. Knowing it was coming soon. He would leave and go back to his busy life. You would be here like you always are. For now his fingers ran through your hair, and his lips kissed your forehead. He couldn’t quit place the feeling he was feeling, but he knew one thing.

He was home.

[peaches2217]

Come to think of it, I don’t believe I ever formally apologized.

TW: suicide, the Presidential election

I wanna apologize for declaring suicidal intent following the election results. That was reckless and stupid and incredibly selfish, even for me. I went to bed thinking everything would be okay and woke up to news about how those of us who are queer or women or both and living in southern states are as good as dead and no longer have any hope or future to cling to. That was… a lot.

I’ve made no secret of my religious trauma and how it’s affected me over the years. I was raised in the mindset that, if some great tragedy occurred, there was a very good chance it was God teaching me a lesson and knocking me down a peg. On that day, I reverted back into that mindset and decided that my death was ordained by God, and I’d resisted it for far too long. Saying “I’m gonna die soon but I don’t want anyone else to die so please take care of yourselves” is extremely selfish, but hypocrisy was never my intent. I’ve wrestled a good chunk of my life with the notion that I’m a mistake and God wants me dead because that’s what I was taught growing up, more or less. I really did think, in my screwed-up head, that I’d delayed the inevitable for too long and my time was up, and I didn’t want anyone else following me down that path.

Both of my pastors reached out to me that day. I told them my thoughts, and that I was scared. They told me that no one is born to die, or to become a martyr or an example. Things are scary and uncertain and it’s now more than ever that we need to cling recklessly to hope and love as we fight for justice. That’s something I’ve been doing a lot of thinking on this past week.

I won’t go into where all that’s led me though; I just wanted to say I’m really, truly sorry. I brought distress to people I love and who care about me during a time when we needed to support one another. In a fit of desperation and psychological relapse, I spit in the face of everything I’ve tried to champion during my time here. I caused a lot of hurt that can’t be undone, so I know asking forgiveness is laughable, but I do wanna ask that y’all know I’m truly remorseful, as well as truly grateful. I received so much love and so many words of encouragement, and I’m holding tight to those as I move forward. I love each and every one of y’all so much. Whatever happens, I intend to live and fight for a better tomorrow, and I hope all of y’all know you’re strong enough to do the same.

There’s a lot more I wanna say, but I don’t even know where to start. I also know apologies mean absolutely nothing without action. I’m sorry my actions have been so stupid, and I’m going to work hard in the coming weeks and months to change that.

[rafesbabyg1rl]

Hiii pretties! Welcome to my blog!! Please keep things positive and stay slutty my friends!!!

~If you have any requests, please feel free to leave it in my inbox!!!~

Masterlist: The Watcher (Part One, Part Two, ...)

you can read the rest if you wanna like know more about me n shit ig

Hello!! I'm Kay, or K, kat, whatever you wanna call me. I'm literally just a girl. I am a freakkkk. I do be a bit of a stoner y'all, and I usually am high when I write, so if I make a mistake, I'm blaming that. I'm from the United States (unfortunately) and I only speak English. This is a safe place; I am always here if anyone wants to talk. I do not discriminate; I do not spread hate. I do not and will not tolerate hate or unkind behavior towards me or others here on my blog. Like seriously guys I have bad anxiety, so please be nice and don't make it harder for me.

This is pretty much solely for Outer Banks, Rafe Cameron to be more specific. But, feel free to talk to me about other things!

Other things I'm interested in/passionate about: Taylor Swift, veterinary medicine, Breaking Bad, Better Call Saul, The Walking Dead, 13 Reasons Why, Supernatural, Jurassic Park/World, Harry Potter, The Maze Runner, The Hunger Games, comedy movies (Seth Rogen & James Franco). I love cold weather, books, and cats. Music is life and I listen to a little bit of everything so feel free to send songs.

I AM a student, so just keep in mind that I may be inactive because I’m in CLASS or doing work; because I will prioritize that over tumblr (well, i try). Other times I’m inactive because I am sleeping, or because I’m busy with LIFE. I am not tied to my tumblr and blog. I’ve had only positive experiences here so far, but I know that fanfic writers are often mistreated by readers, but guys we are all just people.

If you want me to hurry up and publish new work, don't tell me that, just interact with my blog and compliment my writing and that will motivate me more than anything else ever could. Also ASK AND REQUEST PLEASEEE!! I really enjoy and appreciate new ideas and feedback from other people's brains. I also appreciate constructive criticism. Don't be mean about it, but if you dislike or disagree with something, tell me politely. I like hearing feedback and am always working on improving my writing.

Seriously y'all, please please PLEASE do NOT be hateful. Do that on your own time, not here. I will not tolerate unnecessary attitude and hate. I believe in forgiveness, and I know that mistakes and misunderstandings happen. I will treat anyone and everyone with kindness and respect unless I have reason not to (really hoping I don't).

Who do I write for? I only write for Rafe Cameron. However, I'm not opposed to writing a little or sharing thoughts about other Outer Banks Characters!

What do I write? I will write literally almost anything. There’s no such thing as too much for me, so request away please. ------ As for darker topics, I will write them. Actually, a large portion of my work will include darker topics/themes/kinks, etc. I will write sensitive subjects too. But just because I live for that shit, doesn't mean everyone else does so I'll do my best to include warnings on all my work for any content that might potentially be triggering for others.

(Small warning: mentions of my mental struggles and self-destructive habits) I've always struggled mentally. I've always felt as though the way my brain works is different from everyone else; like something is wrong with me. But after many many years, I now have a better understanding of myself and how my brain works. Not to dump this on y'all, I swear I have a point, but I have diagnosed depression, anxiety, and ADHD. These things are all a big challenge I face in my day-to-day life and are often the leading cause of why I may take longer to write and publish things. I may take breaks, so don't worry if I'm not active, I will be back at some point. And I'll try my best to update you guys on when I'm gonna be less active or vice versa. Another way my mental health effects my writing is because when I write, a lot of the time my personal experiences or feelings will end up incorporated within my work, since well, it's all coming from my brain. I mostly write for myself to express my thoughts and feelings, having others read and actually enjoy my work is just an added bonus. But personally, I have struggled with self-harm for about one third of my life. I often get ideas for new works revolving around this theme and may publish things about it eventually. Themes such as mental illnesses, self-harm, abuse, insecurities, EDs, suicidal thoughts, unhealthy relationships (obv), toxic household, etc. will have a reoccurring appearance throughout my works. So just be prepared, I guess.

And like I said before, if anyone needs to talk, I am ALWAYS here and I am a very good listener.

Everyone is more than welcome to message me or leave anything in my inbox. Whether it's to chat, request something, ask something, literally whatever is welcome!! (Except hate I don't fw that)

Thank you for visiting my blog, I hope you enjoy! As always, be kind and stay slutty!

[no-light-left-on]

I often wonder about the quote-unquote logistics of Corvo the Black/Emily the Butcher endings. Emily makes more sense to me, in a way, carving her way through the empire only to come back with blood caked under her fingernails and realising that she did everything her father refused to do 15 years ago. but why did Corvo have a similar choice?

what happens to the statues later? does Emily keep her father trapped in stone? does Corvo look at his daughter, frozen in the moment and considers freeing her? is he at his deathbed when he finally reaches out and cups Emily's cheek, freeing her into a carcass of an empire that he gutted for her, in her name, in the name of her mother?

when I first heard of the endings I thought that if you reach very high chaos, you are locked into this choice - Corvo or Emily tries to free the other and the stone just doesn't budge. they are trapped. the quest is over but the world knows that the bloodshed was extreme and this is the punishment they have to face

[james-spooky]

this is a test

[cuteniaarts]

Digitalised + coloured + redesigned version of my Suiren and Vaatu sketch from two days ago, as promised!!

Coming up with Suiren’s design was a very long process of trying and failing because after you’ve drawn 9+ different versions of one character, the creativity starts to run a little dry, but I’m actually really proud of this one, she looks absolutely adorable <3

(Also yeah I did mostly just scribble Vaatu’s pattern because who has the energy to draw the all out accurately. Not me, that’s who, I’m chronically tired. People who draw him on the regular have my utmost respect. He’s still a funky little guy though :D)

Bonus, Raava incessantly screaming inside Suiren (and being completely ignored because Suiren is tired of her) while all this is happening:

[letbuckfuck]

.

[excitedrainbow]

ally’s player behaviour in Sophomore Year is actively making me wish Rekha had been able to be part of the Intrepid Heroes as originally intended, I HATE all the narrative interruptions which actively gets in the way of other players story moments, and so many of their bits are just Ally as Ally doing something they think is funny, there’s nothing to Kristen as a character and they hardly ever do jokes in character as Kristen!!!!!

[whencartoonsruletheworld]

Hey so like many of you, I saw that article about how people are going into college having read no classic books. And believe it or not, I've been pissed about this for years. Like the article revealed, a good chunk of American Schools don't require students to actually read books, rather they just give them an excerpt and tell them how to feel about it. Which is bullshit.

So like. As a positivity post, let's use this time to recommend actually good classic books that you've actually enjoyed reading! I know that Dracula Daily and Epic the Musical have wonderfully tricked y'all into reading Dracula and The Odyssey, and I've seen a resurgence of Picture of Dorian Gray readership out of spite for N-tflix, so let's keep the ball rolling!

My absolute favorite books of all time are The Haunting of Hill House and We Have Always Lived in the Castle by Shirley Jackson. Classic psychological horror books about unhinged women.

I adore The Bad Seed by William March. It's widely considered to be the first "creepy child" book in American literature, so reading it now you're like "wow that's kinda cliche- oh my god this is what started it. This was ground zero."

I remember the feelings of validation I got when people realized Dracula wasn't actually a love story. For further feelings of validation, please read Frankenstein by Mary Shelley and The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson. There's a lot the more popular adaptations missed out on.

Rebecca by Daphne du Maurier is an absolute gem of a book. It's a slow-build psychological study so it may not be for everyone, but damn do the plot twists hit. It's a really good book to go into blind, but I will say that its handling of abuse victims is actually insanely good for the time period it was written in.

Moving on from horror, you know people who say "I loved this book so much I couldn't put it down"? That was me as a kid reading A Little Princess by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Picked it up while bored at the library and was glued to it until I finished it.

Peter Pan and Wendy by JM Barrie was also a childhood favorite of mine. Next time someone bitches about Woke Casting, tell them that the original 1911 Peter Pan novel had canon nonbinary fairies.

Watership Down by Richard Adams is my sister Cori's favorite book period. If you were a Warrior Cats, Guardians of Ga'Hoole or Wings of Fire kid, you owe a metric fuckton to Watership Down and its "little animals on a big adventure" setup.

A Raisin in the Sun by Lorraine Hansberry was a play and not a book first, but damn if it isn't a good fucking read. It was also named after a Langston Hughes poem, who's also an absolutely incredible author.

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury is a book I absolutely adore and will defend until the day I die. It's so friggin good, y'all, I love it more than anything. You like people breaking out of fascist brainwashing? You like reading and value knowledge? You wanna see a guy basically predict the future of television back in 1953? Read Fahrenheit.

Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain and To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee are considered required reading for a reason: they're both really good books about young white children unlearning the racial biases of their time. Huck Finn specifically has the main character being told that he will go to hell if he frees a slave, and deciding eternal damnation would be worth it.

As a sidenote, another Mark Twain book I was obsessed with as a kid was A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court. Exactly what it says on the tin, incredibly insane read.

If Beale Street Could Talk by James Baldwin is a heartbreaking but powerful book and a look at the racism of the time while still centering the love the two black protagonists feel for each other. Giovanni's Room by the same author is one that focuses on a MLM man struggling with his sexuality, and it's really important to see from the perspective of a queer man living in the 50s– as well as Baldwin's autobiographical novel, Go Tell it on the Mountain.

Agatha Christie mysteries are all still absolutely iconic, but Murder on the Orient Express is such a good read whether or not you know the end twist.

Maybe-controversial-maybe-not take: Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov is a good book if you have reading comprehension. No, you're not supposed to like the main character. He pretty much spells that out for you at the end ffs.

Animal Farm by George Orwell was another favorite of mine; it was written as an obvious metaphor for the rise of fascism in Russia at the time and boy does it hit even now.

And finally, please read Shakespeare plays. As soon as you get used to their way of talking, they're not as hard to understand as people will lead you to believe. My absolute favorite is Twelfth Night- crossdressing, bisexual love triangles, yellow stockings... it's all a joy.

and those are just the ones i thought of off the top of my head! What're your guys' favorite classic books? Let's make everyone a reading list!

[tellafairy]

thoughts on shifting + manifesting with ease. (as someone who's shifted many times, alongside manifesting)

coming back to this side of tumblr after spending years away from it has made me realized how many of you are truly the problem, it might sound kinda harsh but really. so many of you ask the same questions over and over again.. "but HOW do i do it?" "how do i shift" "how do i manifest" JUST DO IT. stop looking for signs, stop looking for methods or "cheat codes". just do it man.

your mind is so powerful and it actually kinda irritates me how many of you doubt it, just because it "seems to easy". you don't understand how you've been manipulated by society to not see your power. how have you been on loa social media, shifting social media, for soooo long — yet still don't see it?? let me tell you..

the moment i got off social media, the moment i took time to erase everything in my head and stop overthinking everything, was the moment everything came to me. i already had it, i just needed to stop telling myself i didn't.

it took me barely any time to get used to convincing myself i had everything i wanted, i shifted to my desired realities, and everything worked out in my favour. AFFIRMING IS ALL YOU NEED. I AM YELLING AT YOU. JUST AFFIRM.

really, please, affirm. the routine is so simple.

1. any bad thought is instantly turned positive.

ex: "i really want her waist"

to

"am i stupid ... i have her waist.. tbh mine even looks a little better.. am i crazy?? like actually? this must be a glitch or something cause my waist is practically identical to hers.. i literally love my waist"

exaggerate, say what you need to say to erase the negativity.

2. it's yours, so act like it..

ex: talk about ur DR normally. it's your reality, not a fantasy land you made up in a dream. ITS REAL. it's a reality. for example, i'd watch videos of my s/o in this reality, and speak about our lives in my dr. "i can't wait to see __ tonight... god i love __, it's so nice hanging out with them everyday.. wow they look so pretty in this video — i'm so lucky their mine". it's natural, they're yours aren't they? exactly, so act like it.. this is used the exact same way when manifesting..

you see someone with something you want? thinking of something you wanna do? something you wanna be? ... it's urs... so can you act like it?? like whyre u feeling sad someone else got a job promotion 😹😹 you literally got a better one ...

3. that's literally it

you don't need a fancy method (although it can give u some peace of mind.. let's be real, a lot of methods set y'all back and make you overwhelmed, blocking ur beliefs and making everything seem harder). you literally just need to live. tell yourself it's done, over and over again. nothing matters. it's done, it's yours, you have it, you're happy and fulfilled. other peoples sucess should really mean nothing to you negatively. it shouldn't make you stressed, shouldn't make you feel behind.. why would it when you have everything, you can do everything, go anywhere, and you can be anything.

it'll seem like manifesting blogs and shifting blogs just repeat the same things.. which is true, they do, because i'm telling you there's nothing more to it than what you've already read. it is that easy. all it takes is your mind. decide, and tell yourself.

as i said before, it took me barely anytime to switch my mindset once i actually started focusing on myself, my journey and not every body else's results. repeating stuff to yourself WORKS. repeating is literally ALL i did. choose what i want, told myself it's mine in any way i could describe it. and there, it's mine. ive shifted to many different realities, along side gaining a better life in this one after years of convincing myself there was nothing for me. if i can break out of the cycle, trust me you can too. i cannot describe how desperate i was at the beginning, how long i took in false info and wasted time on methods all while doubting every single thing.

so why don't you believe it? you'll sit there and tell yourself over and over again that you're ugly, or broke, or friendless... but you won't tell urself that you've shifted? that you have your dream body...? girl okay i guess....

once you realize nothing besides your mind truly matters, is when you'll be free with yourself. circumstances don't matter, past feelings don't matter, doubts don't matter, your mind is all you need.

yes this is just loa explained longer, that's the point of the post because some of u still can't get it in ur heads

[cashmoneyyysstuff]

HI ILY!!! i was wondering if u could do a argument fic likeeeee katsuki and reader got into a argument and they are both DISTRAUGHT bc they’re so corny and in love and hate fighting but the argument was bad and they’re oh so sad whatever whatever !! and katsuki has to make it up to them EEE !! PLEASE I LIVE EAT SLEEP AND BREATHE UR FANFICS !! LOVE U CASHHH🤍

operation : trouble in paradise !

katsuki tries to get his boyfriend privileges back..

EEEE TYSM AND I ACTUALLY LOVE THIS ASK !! Its my guilty pleasure like both parties hating to argue bc they love each other so much im so sorry that’s adorable. and again ty SOOO much !!! hope you enjoy, ive actually gotten a similar ask, so that one ill try to have that come out soon !

FEM READER, katsuki is melodramatic, argument, fluff fluff despite argument, 3rd year bk squad boys !, kissing, making up yipeee, reader likes flowers,lemme know if i missed sum else !

“she fuckin’ hates me.”

for the past ten minutes he’d barged into kirishima’s room, bakugou has been moping. wallowing, even.

“no she doesn’t, man..” kirishima reassured. for the umpteenth time, he’s honestly lost count. he’d tried putting a hand on the boy’s shoulder earlier but said boy had shrugged him off angrily, grumbling out a dramatic “don’t touch me.” despite being flopped face down on his bed.

“i know her better, kirishima. yes she does.” the blonde insists, voice muffled by the redhead’s pillows. kirishima sighs, patting his friends leg before making his way to his office chair across from the bed, ignoring the muffled grumbles bakugou lets out.

“how bout you just..go apologize ?”

“i already told you i can’t. she—”

“yeah, she hates you. got it.” kirishima finishes his friends sentence, causing the blond to groan. “look dude, you’ll never know unless you try. you’ve been together for ages now.”

“a year.” katsuki corrects, he purposely forgets to mention he knows exactly how many months it has been too. kirishima nods excitedly, trying to get him out of his frankly sad state. “yeah ! so, this shouldn’t be anything man. arguments happen all the time, no matter how much you love each other.”

katsuki feels his ears burn at the word love on his friends lips, he’s told you he loved you of course. but it still felt weird to acknowledge it.

he turns just enough for his scowl to be visible to his friend, who sends him an encouraging smile.

“so what the fuck do i do then ?” kirishima grins wider, sharp teeth on display. “there we go, that’s more like ya, dude !” he exclaims. he quickly shuffles to grab a notepad strewn onto his messy desk (kirishima’s desk was so messy it made katsuki itch sometimes, a shiver almost passes through him whenever he sees the state it’s in)

kirishima drops onto the floor, placing the notepad onto his mattress and scribbling, with a pen katsuki has no idea where he fished out, a messy “operation: get your bf privileges back !!!!!!” bakugou fixes kirishima with a dead look, the other only tilts his head, still cheerful.

“what ?”

“what the fuck is this, kirishima.”

kirishima scoffs at the blonde’s dead tone, “listen man, you wanna win your girlfriend back or not ?!” bakugou squints at him, hard. but only let’s out a loud sigh. kirishima takes that as his answer and with a nod continues writing down notes.

katsuki groans to himself, looking down at his friend scribbling down his grand plan, and he better hope it works.

maybe you should call him..

no, you won’t. it was his fault you were like this anyway.

..but maybe you went a bit too far..?

ugh. you groan, rolling around in your bed. you’d tried to distract yourself by going through your tiktok feed but it seemed the world was against you or your fbi agent hated your guts. your feed was either overly cutesy couples content that made you miss your angry blond, or break up videos that made you miss him even more.

ugh. you shove your head even harder in your pillows.

you’re really trying to hold your ground, because you want katsuki to know he’d hurt your feelings, but now that you think about it you don’t even remember what you’d argued about. it was petty for sure, you’re about 80% sure it was a petty argument.

maybe you should—

you shake your head, steeling your nerves. so what if it was a dumb argument ?! that didn’t mean he could get away with everything!

“uuuugh,” you groan out loud, you miss your katsuki.

a knock at your door startles you. it must be mina, you’d texted her earlier that you were mad at your boyfriend and she’d told you that she “excepted all the deets of what his dumbass did this time as SOON as i get back !!!!” and you were waiting, maybe venting about it could make you feel better and less dramatic.

you open your door expecting to see your overly excited best friend. but instead—

flowers, almost whacking you in the face you might add, are shoved in your face before you can get a word out. you squeak in shock, they’re pretty though, your favorites. and you know only one person who knows what your favorite flowers are.

“wh-katsuki ?!”

and there he is, red faced and angry. scowl on his face and bouquet of pretty flowers in hand.

you can’t tear your eyes away from him, he can’t keep his eyes in one spot—flying from you occasionally to your door to the flowers and repeat. he blinks, you blink.

“here.” he grunts, waving the flowers towards you. “f’r you.” he glances at you.

“o-oh !” you exclaim suddenly, whisking the flowers towards yourself. the bouquet is big, it’s definitely a bit bigger than your head. katsuki searches your face to gauge your reaction“i—uhm! thank you..” you utter shyly, katsuki grunts. he shoves his hands in his pockets the moment you’ve gripped the bouquet, kicking at something you can’t see on the floor.

your heart skips a beat. tentatively, you lean against the door “didn’t take you for a flower guy..”

he scoffs, kicking the toe of his sneakers against the floor “‘m not.. but you like these, right ?”

trick question. he knows you do, you mentioned in passing these were your favorites, unless you suddenly decided you didn’t like these anymore. then he’s fucked. but he decides to continue despite the worry growing in his lower belly, the plan was already a go now.

“i—uhm, listen..” your boyfriend fumbles, he throws his head back and groans when his words won’t come out right. you give him a tiny smile, his eyes soften just a bit.

“i fucked up, okay ?” he admits, scratching at his nape “shouldn’t have said all that shit to you, or whatever..” you can tell he’s beyond embarrassed. he’d melt if he could get any redder, he keeps scratching and won’t look at you for more than a few seconds at a time and katsuki who’s always the loudest in the room can barely manage a mumble. you know he means it though, he never did anything he didn’t feel like doing. you wait for him to continue and he looks at you then.

“i don’t ever like arguing with you. ever.” he insists “so jus..forgive me, kay ?” he finishes quietly. your heart jumps and leaps and you can’t stand acting cold anymore. you walk a bit closer to him, the flowers block you from fully being close to him.

katsuki’s eyes are wide as you lean in to kiss right next to his lips, you laugh at his bewildered expression and his eyes soften when he snaps out of it. he rolls his eyes, you smile wider.

“i forgive you, i’m sorry too. i don’t like arguing with you either..” you admit, katsuki reaches for your hand, you feel the tips of his fingers brush against your skin, you give it to him and he grips it tight. then he leans in and presses a kiss to your lips, it’s a sweet little apology kiss that turns a bit too passionate after a while, and you pull him towards you and into your room away from prying eyes. katsuki kicks the door shut behind him and pulls you closer by your waist.

“guess i gotta—thank shitty hair..” he mumbles in between kisses, “an’ i owe him twenty bucks.”

you make a noise against his lips and pull away, raising a brow and holding his shoulders when he tries to lean in to kiss you again. “what’s that mean ?”

your boyfriend huffs “told shitty hair i’d give him twenty bucks if his shitty plan worked.”

“plan, what plan ?” you ask, katsuki squints at you, a grumbling noise comes from his throat, almost a whine.

“yer really gonna make me spell it out aren’t you..” he mutter bitterly, shoving his head in your neck. he continues, “shitty hair helped me come up with a plan to make you not mad at me anymore. i told him it wouldn’t work, he said it would, and we bet on it.”

you laugh in disbelief, katsuki chomps at your neck to silence you, squeezes his arms tighter around your stomach to make you wheeze, but you can’t stop laughing. “that’s so cute !”

“shaddup.” he growls in response. you muffle your giggles in his shoulder. katsuki grumbles some more and you run your hands up and down his back.

“well then,” you hum, pressing a kiss to his nape, his arms around you tighten. “i guess we’ll both have to thank kiri then.”

[mugiwara-lucy]

Hello, everyone! While I am VERY proud of the Democrat voter turnout for Early and Mail In Ballots; here's ANOTHER thing to keep in mind.

Two of the Supreme Court's chairs will be up for grabs and the next president will be able to put in two new justices that are younger. Currently there's a 6-3 demographic in the Whitehouse with 6 being Republican and 3 being Democrat. SHould Kamala win, she can put two more Democrat court younger justices in and we'll be 5-3 (the five being Democrats!) and we'll have a less corrupt SCOTUS.

Should Trump win......he'll stack the Supreme Court with younger justices and the Supreme Court will be locked HARD RIGHT for AT LEAST 30 years.......do we REALLY want that??

And keep in mind, one of the justices (Clarence Thomas) was talking about giving a look at gay marriage if he comes back into office.

And I bet one of the Supreme Court justices that Trump will put will be Aileen Cannon, the person who threw out Trump's stolen documents case. We ALL KNOW he stole those documents for nefarious reasons......do we REALLY want someone like that in office??

Here is the link below to register to vote along with the deadlines varying by state! Also, your own vote isn’t enough! Get as many people as you can to vote for Kamala be it your friends, cousins, parents, grandparents, old friends from high school and college, coworkers, boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands, wives, stepchildren (if they’re 18 and over) and the list goes on and on but every vote counts! ALSO PLEASE check your registration DAILY because MAGA WILL purge your voter registration!!!

And early voting has started! And if you don’t wanna vote on November 5th, Early Voting is another option! Like I said get as many people as you know and try early voting that way you can avoid MAGA fuckery on November 5th! Down below is a list of dates by state:

And Mail in Ballots are ANOTHER option I highly recommend!! And like I said get as many people as you can to take advantage of this option! BUT if you decide to go with Mail In/Absentee Ballots; PLEASE mail your ballots at the ACTUAL USPS office!! That way MAGAts won't fuck with it.

And if you’re an American who lives overseas; PLEASE use the option of voting overseas since I know every country other than North Korea, Russia and China do NOT want to see Trump’s stinky ass back in the Oval Office! Here’s a link below:

Like I said last night....because of Trump's first term, we had Roe v Wade, Affirmative Action and Chevron overturned. I bet all the money in my savings and checking accounts that Interracial Relationships, Women’s right to vote and Gay Rights will be done away with should he be back in office. BET MONEY.

We're doing well....let's NOT get complacent like 2016.

THANK YOU.

[olivianyx]

OMGG I JUST GOT RESULTS WITHOUT BEATING MYSELF UP WITH ROUTINES 😭 + RANT ✨

HEYY LUVS! I JUST WANNA SHARE MY RESULTS I MANIFESTED WITHIN 2-3 DAYS! THIS YEAR'S GONNA BE MY BEST YEAR Y'ALL ✋AND GUESS WHAT I DID? NOTHING. LITERALLY NOTHING. NUH-UH. PERIODT.

⚠ LONG POST AHEAD, SWEARING ⚠

WHAT I MANIFESTED:

🪄 PASSING MY FRESHMAN YEAR WITH HIGH SCORES

🪄 MY FAMILY BOUGHT A NEW APARTMENT WHICH WERE PREPARING TO MOVE IN 3 WEEKS

🪄 ME GETTING INTO THE VOID STATE 😭 AND MANIFESTED CLEAR SKIN! (DAYUM GETTING INTO THE VOID IS DEFO VERY EASY OMGG)

🪄 GETTING LESS ANXIOUS LATELY!

🪄 MY GASTRITIS AND ULCERITIS GETTING CURED

🪄 GETTING MORE COMPLIMENTS IN MY UNI!

🪄 GETTING TALLER! I WENT FROM 5'3" TO 5'7" IN 2 DAYS 😭😭

🪄 GETTING DREAMS OF ME SHIFTING TO MY WR 🥺 (ACTUALLY RESPAWNING LOL, AS THIS THING IS REALLY CONTROVERSIAL IN HERE, PLEASE DON'T GET ME CANCELLED- I'M DOING DEATHLESS RESPAWNING ✋)

🪄 MY MIND IS SURPRISINGLY CALM 😌 THERE'S STILL INTRUSIVE THOUGHTS THO (THOSE ARE ANNOYING ASS BITCHES) BUT I JUST IGNORE EM LIKE I IGNORE PEOPLE AT SCHOOL 🗿

🪄 GOT MANY CONFESSIONS TOO 😭 AND I REJECTED EM ALL, CUS I JUST WANT TO BE SINGLE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE ✋🗿 JK

🪄 GETTING COOL CLOTHES THAT MY MOM DENIED A LOTTA TIMES! (ACTUALLY I'VE ORDERED EM BUT STILL HAVEN'T SHIPPED TO MY ADDRESS YET LOL)

🪄 MY CRUSH BECOMING CLOSE TO ME HEHE 🤭 LIKE SHE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME MUCH, BUT LATELY SHE'S BEEN TOO CLOSE TO ME AND ALWAYS WANNA BE WITH ME LOL, 3 DAYS BACK SHE AND I WALKED HOME TOGETHER, WHILE WE GRABBED SOME SNACKS, SPOKE ABT EACH OTHER AND ALL (I FELT LIKE BEING IN A SHOUJO MANGA 😩)

🪄 A NEW PHONE! THAT SAMSUNG GALAXY S22 😩

I MANIFESTED EVERYTHING WITHIN 3 DAYS 😭 I REALLY CAN'T BELIEVE MY EYES, JUST. 3. FUCKING. DAYS. GODDAMMIT.

HOW I DID IT:

JUST FULFILLED IT IN MY IMAGINATION

YEP, YOU HEARD THAT RIGHT. I LIVED IN THE 4D REALITY, I NEVER GAVE A SHIT ABOUT THE 3D AT ALL. OK LEMME BREAK IT DOWN FOR Y'ALL SO JUST PAY ATTENTION FROM HERE ONWARDS.

🪄 SUPPOSE SOMETHING UNDESIRABLE OR UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE HAPPENING IN YOUR 3D. WHO'S THE CAUSE FOR THAT? YOU. 'BUT I DIDN'T IMAGINE OR THINK OF THESE 😭' BABY, YOU'RE THE SOLE CAUSE, EFFECT, AND THE SOLUTION. THERE'S NO OTHER EXPLANATION TO THIS.

🪄 AS WE ALL KNOW, 3D IS A MIRROR. RIGHT? WHATEVER YOU THINK ABOUT, YOUR ASSUMPTIONS, YOUR THOUGHTS, YOUR FEELINGS, YOUR PERSPECTIVE EVERYTHING WILL BE REFLECTED. SO WHY NOT THINK THE WAY YOU WANT SO YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME? GET IT.

🪄 IF YOU WANT TO CHANGE THE 3D, CHANGE YOUR 4D FIRST. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE TO HOW YOUR DESIRED SELF WOULD SEE THE WORLD. KEEP DWELLING IN IT. IF THE 3D SHOWS UNFAVORABLE CIRCUMSTANCES, DON'T FUCKING GET TRIGGERED. GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION AND DENY YOUR SENSES.

🪄 EVERYTIME YOU SEE SOMETHING ELSE IN THE 3D, GO 'BRUHH THIS IS MY OLD STORY, I ALREADY HAVE WHAT I WANT, THIS IS JUST FAKE' AND MOVE ON. DISTRACT YOURSELF. CUS THE 3D WORLD WHICH YOU SEE IS AN ILLUSION, IT'S NOT REAL. IT'S YOUR CREATION, WHY WOULD YOU TRY TO CONTROL WHAT YOU CREATED? IT'S ALREADY IN CONTROL. YOU ONLY GOTTA REALISE YOUR GODSELF. YOU ARE THE CREATOR, NOT THE CREATION. STOP FUCKING VICTIMIZING YOURSELF.

🪄 I GET IT THAT MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE CONFUSED BETWEEN LAW OF ASSUMPTION AND NON DUALISM. EVEN I WAS, BUT SLOWLY I REALISED THAT WE'RE ALL NOTHING. WE'RE JUST LIVING IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. VICTIMIZING OURSELVES IN OUR OWN CREATIONS. IRONIC RIGHT?

🪄 THOSE THOUGHTS, ANXIETY, FEELINGS, EMOTIONS ARE ALL IN YOUR PHYSICAL REALM. YOUR MIND, YOUR BODY, YOUR EGO EVERYTHING IS NO REAL, WE ASSUME IT TO BE. WE'RE ARE SHAPELESS, FORMLESS, WE'RE NOTHING! AND EVERYTHING AT THE SAME TIME. CUS EVERYTHING COMES DOWN TO ONE THING, I AM.

🪄 K Y'ALL MIGHT BE SUPER CONFUSED, WHAT I'M TRYNA INFUSE IN YOUR BRAINS. SO WHAT YOU DO IS, LIVE IN YOUR 4D.HOW? IMAGINATION. NO MATTER WHAT YOU SEE IN YOUR 3D, GO BACK TO YOUR IMAGINATION, AFFIRM OR VISUALISE. ANYTHING IS FINE BTW. JUST STAY IN THE STATE OF WISH FULFILLED.

🪄 STOP RELYING ON METHODS, FUCK THEM. JUST BE. DON'T TRY TO CHANGE SOMETHING WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM. JUST STOP, SURRENDER, STOP FIGHTING, STOP TRYING SO HARD WHEN YOUR ALREADY IT. SO GO LIVE IN YOUR IMAGINATION, FULLY SURRENDER. DO THINGS WHICH YOU LIKE. GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. TAKE YOUR POWER BACK.

LIKE AREN'T YOU TIRED? TRAPPED IN YOUR OWN CREATIONS? YOU CREATED THEM, YOU HAVE THE POWER TO CHANGE WHATEVER. TELL ME HOW LONG ARE YOU GONNA LIVE THIS BULLSHIT LIFE? YOU'RE REALLY GETTING COMFORTABLE BEING UNCOMFORTABLE. SO LISTEN UP, DO WHAT YOU LOVE, AFFIRM, VISUALISE, OR DAYDREAM, ZONE OUT, WHATEVER. ALL I DID WAS DO THIS MEDITATION IN THE MORNING, WENT ABOUT MY DAY WATCHING JUJUTSU KAISEN LMAO. THEN RANDOMLY AFFIRM, LIVED IN MY 4D, NEVER PAYED ANY FUCKING ATTENTION TO MY 3D, CUS I'M GOD. I REALLY LOVE VISUALISING, SO I PUT ON A SONG AND START DAYDREAMING IN MY ROOM SMILING LIKE AN IDIOT. ALSO, I DID SATS BEFORE GOING TO BED. THAT'S IT. THAT'S ALL I DID FOR 3 FUCKING DAYS, AND GOT WHAT EVER I WANT. ALSO I MADE A CUSTOM TAPE TOO (IT'S A GENERAL SELF CONCEPT ONE) I LISTENED TO IT FOR 30 MINS AND JUST WENT ABOUT MY DAY THINKING I HAD WHATEVER I FUCKING DESIRE, CUS IT'S ALL MY CREATIONS AND I HAVE IT ALREADY. THERE'S NOTHING TO GET, IT'S ALREADY IN ME.

LUV YOU, BYE 💋

[bvidzsoo]

Popular boys? Overrated ♡ (masterlist)

Urban Dictionary:

♡ Popular boy: Annoying assholes who think making fun of other people makes them cool. ♡ Overrated: When something or someone becomes too popular than others, and is given more credits than it deserves to be.

♡ Synposis: University? Stressful. Assignments? Too many. Social life? Above par. Boys? Disgusting. Popular boys? A total and complete headache. Sex? Optional. Sleep? Not so optional. But really...what are you supposed to do when you've got a hot guy up your ass begging for your attention? Nothing much but give in to him.

↳ Follow the two separate stories of our protagonists as they maneuver their lives at University while trying to avoid the two nefarious popular boys, Seonghwa and Yunho.

♡ Author: bvidzsoo

♡ Pairing: Park Seonghwa x female reader; Jeong Yunho x female reader

♡ Rating: nc-17

♡ Genre: 90's rom-com; University!au; Popular guy!au; Sports!au

♡ Status: on-going

🎧Playlist🎧

♡ Park Seonghwa ♡

📝Sugar on my lips: ˗ˏˋ First assignment ★ Second assignment ★ Third assignment ˎˊ˗

Summary: Besides looking pretty and acting dumb, popular boys were good for nothing else. Park Seonghwa, who you've known for over a year now, wasn't an exception. Obnoxious, eccentric, and a peacock, he seems to have an affinity of getting on your nerves. But when coincidentally you get paired up for an assignment, you happen to discover a different side of him. Is it possible you have misjudged him?

✫☼☾☁ ❝𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐢𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲 𝐠𝐢𝐫𝐥, 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞'𝐬 𝐚 𝐛𝐨𝐲…𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐨𝐧𝐠.❞ ☁☾☼✫

♡ Visual Board ♡

♡ Jeong Yunho ♡

🎭Under the pretense: ˗ˏˋ First act ★ Second act ★ Third act ˎˊ˗

Summary: What was supposed to be the best time of your life turned into something more bizarre and only slightly fun. Don't get me wrong, having to share your theater class out of the blue with popular guy Jeong Yunho, to most, didn't sound like the worst idea, but to you...yeah, you would've been more grateful if the principal found other methods of punishment for her son's misbehavior.

꧁༺ ❝𝔜𝔬𝔲 𝔥𝔞𝔳𝔢 𝔟𝔢𝔴��𝔱𝔠𝔥𝔢𝔡 𝔪𝔢, 𝔟𝔬𝔡𝔶 𝔞𝔫𝔡 𝔰𝔬𝔲𝔩, 𝔞𝔫𝔡 ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢, ℑ 𝔩𝔬𝔳𝔢 𝔶𝔬𝔲.❞ ༻꧂

♡ Visual Board ♡

A/N: Weeell, hellooo, surprise?? Total random idea with the most random plots, but here I stand before you, presenting two separate stories which happen in the same universe. They can most certainly be read as standalones, but fyi I will post them by jumping from Seonghwa's story to Yunho's and then back and forth. I most certainly will not start their stories until I'm done with my Mingi rockstar series, which will take a few more weeks, sorry for making you wait but...priorities. As you can see, I have a playlist that I will be updating with songs that remind me of our girlies, our main characters, as they will be girlbossing in their respective stories lol. I hope I'll be able to pull off the 90's romcom vibes, don't be too hard on me if I fail lol <3

Taglist is open and you can leave a comment on this post, please specify if you're interested in both Seonghwa and Yunho's stories, or if in only one of them! Kisses and I hope I have piqued your interest! <3 divider

↳Perm. taglist: @orshii @jjoongstar @tinyelfperson @thestarskiller @zuuhaa

@aaa-sia @gong-fourz @a-tinycarat @sooberryworld @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad

@anastasiamin860 @yunhogrippers @vcutparis @tunaasan @blvckarabixnvoid

@yusalterego @arigakittyo @slowee00 @jaerisdiction @hey-syia

@vnessalau @oddracha @chatsgotmytongue @potatos-on-clouds @yunhowooyo

@watermelon2319 @yoongzsmile28 @klllerwaifu @apriecotte @hwasbbyg

@kyeos4ng @samiiy20 @woosanhobros @aswho1estuff @khjoongie98

@ateez-main-yapper @kang-ulzzang @felixs-voice-makes-me-wanna @ginger-mingi @redzie02

@unholywriters @autieofthevalley @roomsofangel @peachyy-joonie @baeksofty

@tunafishyfishylike @syubseokie

❀ complete the forms if you're interested! ^^

[pixiecaps]

recapping a bit of what haru said on stream

haru on her stream spoke about how shes had a really awful past five years and all her experiences just from this past year has been incredible. she gave a massive thank you to everyone and that she has no regrets.

“i never imagined i’d be where i am right now and i mean it with all my heart thank you so much. i had a very good time and i hope to have made you guys happy.”

she mentioned that since she was young shes always wanted to make content that makes people happy because she felt the world was missing a lot of love so shes happy to have given the world a piece of her heart. she mentioned how shes met so many incredible people who motivated her to see the good parts of life. to have found even this little bit of sunshine has left her so grateful. she says thank you for all the kindness, all the moments, all the memories, all the words, everything. shes very happy and mentioned this has been a very special experience for her. she reminded her chat that theres always another day and to enjoy life to the maximum, to live, to love, to talk, to hug each other, to be happy always, and that all the beautiful happiness we’ve given her will be returned back to us. she continues to express her gratitude. she mentioned this is one of the most beautiful communities shes ever had the pleasure of meeting in the entire world. she goes on to include the spanish, portuguese, french, english, german, and korean community in that statement.

“there is love in all types of languages and that love needs to be shared.“

she said her words will never be enough to express all her gratitude. she gave a reminder to always keep being kind. her voice falters a couple times from all the emotions. she mentioned shes cried enough and didn’t want to keep crying since she had something to do tomorrow and she didnt wanna have swollen eyes lmao.

she then shares a more personal moment. paraphrasing here.

“after i lost my dad i swear i felt like my life was falling apart. i never thought i’d be able to recover. after that many things happened and in those things, i wasnt destined to meet two people, this is a story i’ll always remember because i wasnt destined to meet these people. … they tell me hey the actor for this little thing didn’t show up and i say no way seriously? tell them to let me be it, tell them please because i want to be with you guys (harus two friends who were apart of the project). and i didnt think they’d agree… and they said yes. and i met two very important people and honestly (starts crying) thank you so much. thank you so much nussa. thanks to you i was able to meet them. i never imagined this would happen i promise you. thank you nussa. it means a lot to me that you decided to put me (into the leo spot). the only major thing in my life, i started being so happy, i started enjoying all the moments in my life as if it were the last, thanks to all this i’m here. and could meet you all. such a beautiful community.” she goes on to keep thanking nussa while crying and saying it was written in the stars. she goes on to say that shes gonna tell this as a story some day to her family, who doesnt know what she does or that she streams, and she’ll tell them about all of this with so much care and love. shes very thankful to have learned so much english and more about so many different cultures. she again reiterates shes very happy.

she also teases that she wants to go to brazil!!!! which… might be soon… and that theres little things being planned so hopefully if all goes well…👀 (an egg admin meetup would go so hard)

NOW GO SUPPORT HER ON TWITCH @ HarumiVT

[dixons-sunshine]

Sweetest | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: Wounded and benched from runs for the week, Daryl was asked to watch the kids in the prison while you and some of the others worked on repairing a breach in one of the fences. One of the kids asked Daryl how he met you, his wife, and it made for a rather sweet tale.

Genre: Fluff.

Era: Prison, pre season 4.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU.

Warnings: None.

Word count: 1.6k.

A/n: This turned out worse than I hoped, better than I expected. I don't really know how to explain it, but I hope you like this! (Thank you @ddamm and @dixondystopia for giving me your favourite moments from the entire series to add to this! They were pretty much the same, so great minds truly do think alike, as they say.)

“Mr Dixon?”

At the sound of his name being called, Daryl looked up from his baby girl and locked eyes with a little girl—Mika, he believed her name was—who was staring at him with a big smile. “Yeah?” he replied, slightly bouncing his knee when Hazel began fussing a little.

Mika giggled slightly, sharing a look with her sister, Lizzie, before turning back to the archer. “Mrs Dixon is your wife, right?” she inquired, bouncing slightly on her feet.

Daryl's lips involuntarily twitched up at the mere mention of you. He nodded and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah? Why do ya ask?”

“Well, my dad likes to talk about how he met my mom. Mr Greene has told us how he met his last wife a million times. We wanna know how you met Mrs Dixon!”

Almost as if for added emphasis, the other children all perked up and voiced their interest in knowing the tale of how Daryl met you, his beautiful wife. The archer, both amused by the children's nosiness and embarrassed by the metaphorical spotlight he was placed under, let out a small scoff and adjusted Hazel in his arms, allowing the small girl to happily toy with his fingers. “It ain't some big love story or nothin'. It'll only bore ya.”

“No, it won't,” Carl added from his position atop one of the tables. The teenager had been sulking because Rick had forbade him from helping fix the breach in the fence—where several walkers had managed to crawl through—but the chance of getting to know some insight to one of the most talked about couples in the prison brightened his mood somewhat. You and Daryl were the only couple that dated back before the outbreak, and everyone was eager to know how the two of you got together, and how you managed to keep that spark alive. “We wanna know. Come on, Daryl. Please.”

Daryl let out a small groan and rolled his eyes at the young Grimes' insistence. “Why dun' y'all go pester Glenn or somebody? M'sure he'd be more than happy to tell y'all 'bout how he met Maggie.”

“But he's told us that story a zillion times already,” one of the kids groaned. “We wanna hear your story. Please, Mr Dixon.”

Daryl let out a deep sigh. From somewhere behind him, he could hear Carol chuckle, closely followed by the chuckles of a few of the adults that were taking a break from their chores around the prison. Daryl shook his head and pursed his lips. “Y'all really wanna hear?” Almost instantly, all of the kids perked up and simultaneously voiced their clear interest, trying to talk over the other. Daryl raised his eyebrows and let out a small chuckle. “Woah, calm down. I ain't sayin' nothin' 'til y'all quiet down.” And just like that, it got so quiet, one could hear a pin drop. “Y/n and I go back many years, long 'fore all'a y'all kids were born. We're closin' in on three decades'a knowin' one another.”

“Thirty years?” Carl voiced in a disbelieving tone. “That's basically forever!”

Daryl chuckled and shrugged. “Guess ya can say tha', yeah.” Daryl shushed Hazel when she began fussing a bit, lightly tickling her stomach to coax a laugh from her. “We met when we were twelve, 'side this river in the woods outside the trailer park we lived in. I admit, I didn't know wha' to think'a her at first. Refused to talk to her fer a whole month, but she never gave up. She kept pesterin' me 'til one day, somethin' happened and I broke my quiet facade. Tha's when we started becomin' friends.” Daryl stopped and tried to hide the smile that spread across his face, but to no avail. “She, uh... She quickly became my best friend after tha'.”

“When did you start love-liking her?” one of the kids asked with a giggle, closely followed by the mischievous laughter of the other kids.

Daryl hummed and shrugged. “After she did somethin' fer my sixteenth birthday. I liked her fer a while 'fore tha', but tha' occasion was my wake-up call. My feelin's fer her slapped me righ' in the face tha' day.” He stopped and let out a small sigh before continuing. “I didn't have the balls to confess to her fer 'nother year after tha'. And when I did confess, it was righ' after we went and bought pa—” Daryl cut himself off, painfully aware of the immature teenage boys that would freak out over the mere mention of pads. Because of that, he altered the truth a little. “...Pasta fer dinner tha' nigh'. Things escalated and we kissed, and then her mom walked in.”

“No,” Beth gasped, slightly tightening her grip on Judith as she thought of the embarrassing scenario.

Daryl chuckled and shrugged. “It was embarrassin' as shi—crap, tha's fer sure, but we lived. Her mom was nice 'bout it all. Definitely didn't mean we could escape her teasin', though.” He pursed his lips as he thought of that moment, the embarrassment still fresh in his mind, even all those years later. “Her teasin' got even worse when Y/n and I eloped. She was kinda upset 'bout it, but she soon went straight back to teasin' us fer not bein' able to wait to have a proper weddin'.”

By that point, unbeknownst to the archer, the group that had been working on fixing the fence—a group that included you—had silently stepped into the part of the prison everyone was in to alert the kids to the fact that they could go play. However, once they heard what the crossbow-wielding man was talking about, they stopped and remained quiet, eager to hear about it all. And you stayed quiet as well, quite shocked that your husband was willingly telling stories about his past with you. He preferred to keep that part of his life private, but there he was, happily talking away. It made your heart swell with love and affection for the man.

“The two of you stayed together for all those years?” Zach—Beth's boyfriend—asked, leaning against the wall. When Daryl nodded, he continued. “How?”

Daryl shrugged and adjusted his daughter in his arms again, feeling her head begin to droop as she was beginning to fall asleep. “I love 'er. And fer some reason I still don't understand 'til this day, she loves me. Ain't tha' hard to stay committed to the person ya love the most. Relationships ain't always all sunshines and rainbows, but when yer with the person ya love, s'all worth it. Y/n taught me tha'. She's the sweetest person ever. I dun' know wha' I did to deserve her, but I thank my lucky stars every day tha' I get to call her mine.”

It went silent after that. The only sound that could be heard was the distant sound of walkers groaning outside the fences. That is, until Rick spoke up from behind the huntsman, startling him and alerting him to the fact that essentially everyone had heard him practically rave about you.

“Well said, brother. Well said,” Rick complimented him, a faint, teasing smile on his face. He turned towards the younger ones in the group and gestured towards the door. “Y'all can go play now. Just stay away from the fences.” And just like that, all the kids—except Carl—had forgotten their need to hear about Daryl's love story with you. They all excitedly darted out the door, their laughter fading as they disappeared out the doors.

Michonne smirked, playfully hitting you on the back. “Y/n, you never told me you found such a keeper. And you found him early on, too. You're so lucky.”

“Yeah, she is,” Carol chipped in, a teasing smile on her face as well. “Did I ever tell you about this one guy in our old camp that insulted her and Daryl instantly put him on his ass? He did accidentally reveal her pregnancy while doing so, but that's besides the point.”

“Was it Shane?” Rick asked, sighing when Carol nodded. “Yeah, of course it was,” he mumbled while he shook his head.

“Not to mention how he nearly killed Jenner because he wouldn't let us out—well, wouldn't let them out. He didn't care much for us back then. We all know he only wanted the doors open so that Y/n was safe,” Glenn piped in.

“Aw,” Michonne cooed teasingly. “That is so sweet, Daryl. You're just a big teddy bear.”

Daryl ducked his head in embarrassment as the others joined in on the teasing as well. He could feel his cheeks flush, and he would've gotten up and bolted from the embarrassing situation, had it not been for the fact that Hazel had just fallen asleep, and he didn't want to wake her.

The feeling of your hand being rested on his shoulder almost instantly made him calm down, your familiar touch bringing a sense of comfort to him. The rest of the group were to busy relaying their favourite moments they had seen between the two of you to notice this interaction, and the archer was glad about that. He was also glad that they couldn't hear what you whispered in his ear, because although Daryl Dixon wasn't a selfish man, the others didn't have to hear these words you clearly meant just for him:

“I'm proud of you. You climbed out of your shell today and did something I know you don't always enjoy doing. You're amazing, Daryl Dixon, and I love you so much.” You placed a soft, tender kiss on his cheek. “You really are the sweetest person ever.”

©dixons-sunshine 2024. I do not give permission for my works to be copied, modified, adapted or translated to any other site or platform without evidence of my given consent.