#i really need to remember having a hair tie around my wrist again to put my hair up when i need to Explore tagged Tumblr posts

[hello7soone]

‼️ RANT START ‼️

i fucking hate summer </3

‼️ RANT OVER ‼️

[amaranthineghost]

FLOWERS FOR THE 'TOTALLY-A-COUPLE' FRIENDS ( oscar piastri. )

oscar piastri x reader

when two friends visit the market and, upon seeing free flowers being given out to couples, they decide to pretend to date for the sake of free flowers. when they end up liking the idea of pretending to be together, they end up wondering why they need to pretend to begin with.

credit to @foreveralbon for the idea!!!! <333

authors note: this was so fun to make!!! i really wanted to make something for oscar and totally stole this idea from liyah (THANK YOU AGAIN!!!) so I finally have an imagine for oscar yay!!!

SOMETIMES IT’S NORMAL FOR FRIENDS TO PRETEND. pretend they’re fighting, pretend while playing games, pretend they’re racing against traffic, pretend they don’t really like each other more than friends.

they pretend they’re dating for the sake of free flowers from a random guy in a market that they visited as friends because they are friends. they are friends. it’s totally normal, totally completely normal for friends to do such things.

it was as simple as that.

at least it was before it all happened because now they didn’t know if they were just pretending anymore or if they had dropped the act hours ago. was it all really that simple now?

it was a clear day in oscar’s hometown and what better way to spend such a beautiful day off than in the company of his good, even best, friend at a market down the street from where he grew up. considering she hadn’t grown up in the area he had, he wanted to show her around all the classic spots that he used to frequent with his mum as a little kid.

well, now he felt like his mum when she used to drag him to all the corner stores or street markets in the blazing sun and smudge sunscreen on his face, except now it’s with her. his best friend, and only his friend and nothing more because his mother was convinced he was smitten. he always denied it.

but everyone could see the way he looked at her whenever he smiled, how she would be the first person he looked to when he laughed at a joke someone else made.

everyone knew except for them, it was painfully obvious that they both felt more for each other than they allowed, and they were painfully oblivious.

the walk on grass, through the bustling market, was relaxing with hands to their sides and their shoulders constantly touching. every so often, they'd look away with red faces and awkward smiles as their hands just barely grazed each other’s skin, but they never closed that gap. it had been happening for months and their friends were clawing at their eyes just waiting for it to happen.

but they weren't here to push them together, just the two friends walking past different stalls of clothes, antiques, accessories, and other various items.

a light breeze blew her hair into her face, causing the constant sputtering of lips as strands stuck to her lip gloss.

of course, in true friend fashion, he laughed every time at her struggles with taming her hair, telling her without fail, “you should really put your hair up, it'll only keep getting in your face.”

she scoffed at him as he pulled strands from her face and futilely attempted to tuck them behind her ears as they blew back into her face.

“i don't think i even have a hair tie,” she whined as she pulled her hair back but couldn't tie it up.

“oh, wait, i do,” he remembered the band on his wrist, years of being friends meant carrying hair ties around for the girl because she wouldn't.

she gasped softly, taking it from his hand that held it flat on his palm, muttering “oh my god, osc, i love you so much, thank you,” she rambled under her breath, “not going to question why you even have it.”

a smile graced his face, completely tuning out her last words at the nickname she had called him. it made his heart flutter every time.

the words ‘i love you’ had been said constantly throughout their friendship that it was second nature at this point. to them, it was just a simple sentence they threw around, though the saying became more and more frequent in the past few months.

maybe it was their way of getting to say their feelings in a disguised, double-meaning phrase that wouldn't confuse what they were.

oh, but it did.

at this point, the words ‘i like you’ held deeper values because it told them how they really felt, but they would never say it. they could've rehearsed it in their heads for days, weeks, or months on end just at the end of the day to say the thing that felt safest. i love you.

he simply muttered back in admiration, “you're welcome.” a smile played on his lips for the longest time, the more he looked at her, the warmer and fuzzier he felt his heart become.

maybe his mum was right.

he shook his head internally. no, she couldn't be. but as he looked at the girl, in such deep admiration like she was the only thing to have ever existed in his life before, he wasn't so sure.

he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly as they continued on walking. the breeze had calmed, and her hair was safely tied up and out of her face. back to grazing hands ever so slightly and arms rubbing against each other caused goosebumps to line their skin.

it was cold, they said to play it off as they looked in opposite directions. the more time passed, the more they hung out, the more excuses they made, and the more awkward it became.

the awkward silence between the pair, birds chirping and other monotonous conversations were the only thing heard until a deep voice called from somewhere up ahead of the crowd.

she stood on the tips of her toes to see over the heads of other people while he made no effort to because he already could.

“guy’s handing out free flowers,” oscar started before pausing and looking at her, “for couples.” he scratched his neck again.

she exhaled sharply, “we could totally pull off being a couple,” she slowed down to the side and stood in front of him. he looked down at her with raised eyebrows and a racing heart.

“you think?” he tilted his head with thought, pursing his lips, “free flowers are free flowers.”

“exactly,” she said in a intellectual tone, holding her hand out for him to grab, “what do you say?”

he thought for a moment. at least he acted like he did because he would've grabbed her hand in a heartbeat, but he couldn't make it obvious.

“alright,” he agreed, hesitantly interlacing their fingers together, “but if you’re uncomfortable at any time, we can stop.”

she rolled her eyes, turning back walking into the crowd, now with his hand interlocked with hers at their sides, “yeah, yeah.”

but he pulled her back before she could slip into the crowd, bumping back against his arm, “promise me, you'd say something.”

she paused, and sighed, “i promise, okay, let's go,” she pulled him along, feeling his slight resistance while dragging him because he thought I'd be fun to see her struggle.

when she gave him a look when she turned her head, only then did he follow alongside her.

the guy handing out the free flowers wasn't too far from them, considering how loud he was when they first heard him.

when they first approached him, they could tell he was skeptical. for some odd reason, they didn't fit the image of a couple. it didn't mean they didn't suit each other, they did by all means look amazing side by side, but he knew. somehow he knew.

maybe it was the way they looked so naïve, how they stood with space still between them, or the nervous energy they put out. either way, he didn't believe them.

“kiss then,” the guy shrugged, causing the ‘couple’ to look at each other confused. she pursed her lips before opening her mouth to say something when he spoke first, “if you're really a couple, just kiss. not that big of a deal.” 

it wasn't like they were uncomfortable with what he was asking. oscar was just unsure how she felt about it, meanwhile she didn't care. deep inside, she was nervous because they're just friends, they've never held hands—until now—let alone kiss.

though once she noticed oscar's hesitancy to make a move, she knew she would have to be the one to do so. she didn't give him time to react, hand around the back on his neck to pull him down to her level and his chapped lips met her glossy ones. his hand ravelled its way into her tied hair, messing up the perfectness she had.

she tasted sweet, the gloss on her lips transferring to his before she pulled away less than a second later. his lips were pinker with the blood rushing to his face.

the guy was smug and satisfied, handing them the bouquet they just kissed—as friends—for.

by the time they had walked away, still no words had been exchanged between the pair. their faces still flushed red and their lips left pink and glossy. every glance in the others direction led to them looking the opposite way. they hadn't processed the fact their arms were interlinked now as Oscar held the flowers in his other hand.

he cleared his throat, prompting her looking at him as he held them out to her, “here.”

her lips parted as she stuttered over what words to say, “are you sure?”

he furrowed his brows, “yeah, why wouldn't i be?”

she nodded, “right, yeah.” she took them from his grasp. she looked at then how oscar looked at her, but maybe it was because oscar had given them to her.

she felt fuzzy, she felt a smile creep into her face as she smelled the flowers. her heart was pounding in her chest. she liked the idea of this fake dating thing, but she didnt imagine the length it would go to in such a short amount of time after she proposed the idea.

maybe she only liked the idea of pretending to be together because it was the closest thing she had to actually being with him.

they remained in silence for the whole walk back to his car, she still clutched the flowers with almost both hands. his hand still laced with hers as she held the bouquet against her body. they only separated as they went to their respective sides of the car, carefully getting in before buckling their seat belts.

the drive was silent, even the volume for the radio hadn't been turned up, only the air conditioning could be heard. it was like that for a while as he drove her back to his house because they'd made the plan to hang out afterwards. he thought it would be rude to change routes and drop her back at her house.

when they arrived, they sat in the car, unmoving in silence.

“do you want to talk about it?” his voice was uneven, and he wasn't looking at her when he spoke, not until the silence consumed them again did he turn his head.

“i mean—there's nothing to talk about really,” she shrugged, unsure of what to say as she bit on her lip, “we were just—pretending, right?”

she turned in her seat to look at him, and he nodded, “right, so just friends.”

“right,” she repeated in confirmation, nodding along as they both looked ahead again.

she hesitated. she realized things had already changed between them, their dynamic had shifted and it wasn't going to be the same. it wasn't going back so if she was going to do any more potential damage, she knew now would be the time.

“but—i guess i didn't mind it,” she muttered under her breath, causing him to gaze across at her, “the fake dating, I mean.”

“really?” he questioned, hand gripping the wheel despite the fact they were stationary.

“i mean, it was fun while it lasted,” she finally met eyes with him, fidgeting with her hands as she pursed her lips, “i enjoyed it.”

“the fake dating?”

“the kiss.”

he only nodded, thinking deeply in his head, but on her end, she thought she majorly fucked up whatever they could've salvaged from before. now they couldn't.

truthfully, he just had no words. the kiss had given him a different perspective because now he was longing to kiss her again, to feel and taste the lip gloss on his lips that came from hers.

it was like every feeling he had ever felt for her was pushed to the very forward part of his brain and refused to be put away again.

“i enjoyed it too.” he muttered so quietly, she nearly didn't hear him.

but when she had finally registered the words, a smile cracked her serious face and she looked at oscar, “really?” her voice was high and so unsure.

he only nodded in confirmation as she melted back into the car seat, smiling giddily as if she hadn't been waiting for this.

“hey,” he spoke softly, still gazing at her with eyes of admiration she only saw now, “i guess—it doesn't have to be pretend.” he shrugged.

“are you saying what i think you're saying, piastri?” she leaned back and watched him roll his eyes, only pulled in by oscar's hand on the back of her neck to make her meet him in the middle above the center console. he felt her lips smile against his which caused him to as well. it was infectious.

he cradled her face in his hand, this second kiss lasted much longer than the first, and it marked the end of their long-lived friendship and short-lived pretend dating, but marked the hopefully long-term relationship that had now sparked between the two.

—

taglist (found here): @slut4lrh @taylorslovesswifties13 @sbella13 @kaa212 @nhlfs @poppyflower-22 @thearchieves @beskardroids @lorenica @hiireadstuff @delululeclerc

proofread by @foreveralbon <333

[hellinistical]

Nahoya is gonna sleep on the couch for trying to get you riled up, but a quick fuck might make the punishment more enjoyable. Married, fem reader. m.d.n.i.

Tw: degradation, masturbation

WC: 1.3 k ish.

A/n: is it out of character? Yes. Kinda. But I write how I want to. Also not proof read. It's 4:00 in the morning I don't have time for that. -Taken from my archived account @/ yejiroh-

1…

2…

3 ...

The digital alarm clock that sat on your nightstand struck 12:00 o’clock, and once again, Nahaoya was not home. Probably cleaning and closing down the shop, you figured. But did it really take 3 hours? He’s been staying out late, saying that he was saving for his “pretty girl,” and honestly, 

You missed him. 

The ache between your legs grew as the A.C. turned on, the automatic function seeming to catch on at the worst sides; his side of the bed was getting cold. 

Still, you kept your eyes open, no matter how heavy they became. All the way until the alarm went off once again, signaling the turn of the hour- now 1:00 o’ clock. 

And whoa and behold, the front door’s locks clicked open- your husband had come home. 

Quickly, you turned over, keeping your eyes closed as you tried to steady your breathing. There would be no acknowledgement tonight. Not if you could handle it. 

Hearing his heavy footsteps come closer, and the lights in the halls flicking on, you sucked in a breath as your bedroom door opened- and again as you felt the bed dip from his weight. 

A hand came to your waist, running down your sides as your husband relaxed. He bent over, kissing your cheek before sighing. 

“‘Missed you, baby,”

Your eyes opened, albeit abruptly, before you quickly turned over, grabbing the hand that lay on your wrist. 

“Pardon?”

Nahoya smiled, his peachy curls bouncing. “I knew you were awake. You’re not slick.”

He flicked your nose before laying down, 

“Is that what you wanted to say? That you missed me? That you needed me? That you wanted me? That it pretty girl? You know I’m busy, don’tcha?”

He turned over, grabbing one of your hands before placing your index in his mouth, running his tongue over it, sucking it lightly.

“ ‘hoya…”

With a ‘pop’ he released it, laughing. 

“You missed me so much you’d get wet just from me sucking your finger? I haven’t even been gone that long, Y/n.”

“ ‘hoya, that’s not fair…”

“Uh-uh. What’s not fair is not tellin’ me what you want and denying yourself. That’s what’s not fair, baby. “

Grabbing your hand again, he licked your index, then kissed your knuckles.

“Look at these nails, baby. Who paid for these?”

“You…”

“That’s right. And do remember why?”

He was playing you, you realized. Playing you like a fiddle just so he could get fucked. Staying out late just so you would get needy, whiny, and eventually, mean.

Two could play at that game. 

You pulled your hand away, putting the finger he had been sucking on in your own mouth, watching as his breath hitched. He was getting excited. 

Taking your finger out of your mouth, you examined your nails, the peachy pink that matched his hair so well not chipped and still glossed over. The set he wanted to see on his dick. 

“You told me to get these to wrap around your dick.”

“I did,”

You sat up, placing a hand to his chest before straddling him. Nahoya hadn’t changed into his pajamas yet- he’d been too busy trying to stir you. . taking his tie, you tied his hands to the bedpost, watching as his chest rose and fell faster, feeling his crotch get warmer underneath your thighs. 

“Pretty girl?”

“Hush, ‘hoya. You’re not getting a say in anything tonight.”

“Oh? And why is that?”

“‘Cause, you’re an asshole. Staying out late just to get a good fuck.” You mimicked him. “You’re not slick.”

You unbuttoned his shirt, making a point to crease it as you tucked the sides underneath him. His nipples were hard, goosebumps rising as the cold air hit him. Hooking a finger under his pants, you yanked them down, looking up to grin at him before yanking his boxers down, his hard cock resting against his stomach, tip leaking.

“Y/n?”

You got off him, untying his hands before pointing at his dick. 

“Make yourself feel good. Tell me how it feels, ‘hoya.”

“Huh?”

“Jerk yourself off like I had to every night you decided to stay out late. You thought that was funny? As a matter of fact, you probably jerked off enough thinking of me playing with myself, right? What a pervert you are.”

Nahoya glared at you, reaching out just for you to take a step back. 

“I untied you so you could know how it feels. Go on, ‘hoya.”

The smile on his face was nowhere to be seen, except for a smirk.

“Alright. Fine, I will. “

Bringing his hands to his cock, he gripped it and starting from the base he made his way up. Over and over again, he ran his hand up and down. Little pants of excitement soon turned into pants of frustration as he couldn't seem to get off. 

"Y/n...I need your help."

"Sorry?"

"I...I need your help."

You scooted closer to him, kissing his cheek before patting his tip. 

"Don't worry, honey. If I could get off by myself, so can you! You can do it. I believe in you!"

Your husband grits his teeth, getting more aggravated as his hand went faster. He spits into his hand as if trying to provide some sort of lubricant.

And as his frustration grew, so did yours. Watching him play with himself wasn't supposed to make you feel bad; it wasn't your punishment. But still, seeing him get sweaty and hearing his heavy breaths made your own neediness rise. 

Finally, you crawled back to him, taking his hands away from his dick. 

"You're fucking pathetic, ya know that, 'hoya? Can't even get off on your own, yeah?"

His head hit the pillows, lips parted as you gripped his cheeks. Slipping your panties off, you guided his dick to your entrance, slowly letting it fill you up. Lord, you had forgotten this feeling. How Nahoya's cock filled you up so well was the world's eighth greatest mystery. The underside vein throbbed against your gummy walls, and the both of you moaned. 

"You're still not in the clear, 'hoya. Don't you forget that. I'm just using you to feel good. After this, you're going to sleep on the couch for the next week. Understood?"

"Yes'm!"

Your pussy clenched and he gasped, his back arching, pushing his cock deeper into you. You had forgotten how sensitive he was. 

Gripping your thighs, he raised you up before pulling you back down. 

Your mouth opened, wanton moans slipping from your tongue. Oh, you had missed this. 

Becoming drunk on the feeling of his cock dragging against you, arousal came down your legs and onto Nahoya. 

He pressed two fingers to your clit, rubbing circles on it fast. 

Going faster, seemingly chasing after his own orgasm, but you were close too. 

Tears formed at the corners of his eyes, and his grip got stronger, nearly bruising your thighs. 

Nahoya's moans turned into whines as you took the lead again, putting your hands in his hair as you bounced on his cock, taking great care not to pull too harshly on his curls, knowing how tender-headed he could get.

Leaning over, your breasts pressed against his chest, and you kissed him greedily. That seemed to be the breaking point. Nahoya gasped loudly as his legs shook violently underneath you, his hands moving from your thighs to your waist, hugging it. He pulled himself closer to you as he came- hot spurts of coming shooting into you. Then gripping your shoulders, he panted heavily, and then you came, right after him. You squirted, juices covering both him and you, and you practically screamed. 

He pulled out, then pulled you down on top of him, hands going to your ass, kneading the flesh before giving it a lovely pat. 

Sticky and satisfied, you pushed yourself up, smiling at him. 

"You're still sleeping on the couch."

[writingoddess1125]

Helping Hand?

Buggy + GNReader

Fluffy Corny kinda Platonic

Just random shit I thought of

Support me on Ko-Fi ☕️

"Shit Shit Shit-" Your grumble as you frantically look around for something to tie your hair back with- You had finally gotten time to wash it out after the past few horrible days out at sea. Usually you had just come to shoving your hair into a hat and calling it a day- However your hair had gotten so tangled and messy it didn't fit into the hat at all so you figured today you would attempt to do it but ran out of time, patients and materials. Now just needing to find something to cover it with-

You wished you knew someone who did hair- Standing there you flexed your thinking power and a image comes to mind- Didn't Captian Buggy to the hair of that contortionist girl?

Captian Buggy!

Grabbing a towel to cover your mess of hair you rush quickly our of your shared quarters and down the maze of halls to the Captian's- Hesitating for a moment before you knock on the door to his room, Standing there awkwardly as they slammed open and he glared down at you.

"What do you want?" He all but hissed, clearly not pleased at having such a low member of his crew bother him.

"U-Um Captian do you.. Um" you stumbled over your words and messed with your food nervously.

"Spit it out!" He yelled making you jump-

"Do you have any hair stuff?... I lost my hat and don't know how to cover my hair or put it up for work-" You admit and pull the towel from your hair ashamed. Buggy's eyes widening for a second as he stared at the mess on your head.

He sighed annoyed, you thinking you have a Muggy Ball coming your way but instead he opens his doors to you and snaps at you to come inside.

Quickly scrambling inside you see him grabbing some tools from the massive vanity in the corner of the room. Grumbling under his breath as he did so-

"Sit there-" He snaps pointing to a lone chair which you are quick to park your ass in. With a armful of items he comes back to you quickly and looks over the damage.

"For fucks sake-"

You feel his detached hands part your hair with ease using a skilled comb before setting the moisturize your hair and begin to detangle it- about were amazed since what usually took you quite some time and arm discomfort he had done in 5 minutes tops.

"Wow youre really good at this-" You say as you feel him parting the hair expertly and beginning to braid

"How did you get so good?"

"Have to do my own damn hair everyday" He chimed casually- You remembering seeing his hair down once when a storm set it and he came out to steer in his pajamas.

"Thats right It's long- Why do you keep it long Captian?"

"You talk a lot" Buggy sighed, clearly not uses to being the one having his ear talked off and used to doing the talking-

"Sorry- I tend to babble..Especially when nervous-" You say softly, feeling embarrassed about talking so much. Buggy was silent for a second as he continued to braid-

"..It's cause of my Chop Chop abilities- I can't cut my hair it just reattaches itself so I have learned to just take care of it" He admitted calmly, this making you smile as you turn to look at him.

"That's cool! Could you use your hair in a fight!?"

"DONT MOVE! Or ill have to start over!" He snapped before flicking his wrist and the comb snaps on your scalp as punishment-

"Owie-!" You pout as you sit still as the Captian grumbles, starting that part of the braid over again as he finished his task.

"And no- It's too hard to use my hair as a Chop Chop man- gets tangled too easily" He said calmly, finishing the last braid he smoothed it with another few taps of condioner and stepped back.

"There- Go look" He said dismissively walking away from you so you could go look. There you look it the mirror and see two cute Dutch braids going down the side of your head. A bright smile on your lips as you admire your Captians work.

"Wow! You're really good at this Cap!" You say cheerfully as you look back at the Captian who was putting on fresh gloves.

"I know- Now Here, till you find your hat" He said as his hand floated to you holding a old red beanie with a tuff of fluff on the top- You smiling Brightly, him expecting the typical thanks which he was prepared to wave off.

"Yeah Yeah don't get used to it- OOF!" He stumbles when you hug him suddently- His face turning as red at his nose with the random physical affection.

"Thank you Captian! Gotta run!" You say cheerfully already knowing youre going to hear a earful from your peers about being late to your post, quickly slipping on the red beanie and running away while Buggy stood there shocked and unsure of what the hell just happened-

[101emo]

Self Harm. A guide to self help.

This post may be triggering to some.

Cutting, also known as self harm or self injury, can be a heck of a struggle to break- shit, I've been fighting for 5 years and ongoing. You're not alone in this. Let your cool emo older brother help out.

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Information: What is cutting? Why do people do it?

What is self harm? Self-harm is when someone would deliberately hurt their bodies- whether that be cutting, hitting or something of the like. This post is cut focused. -

Why do I do it? People sometimes cut as a way to cope with strong physical or emotional pain, distress, suicidal thoughts or some kind of punishment. But really, there's no 'why' to cover every single reason. It's individualistic. It's valid. Don't ever think you're not. Scientifically, the rush you get from the pain, the adrenaline that's released into your bloodstream- that's why you do it. For that moment of relief, that need to hurt yourself to feel alive or to feel something. -

How can I stop/Why should I stop? It takes time, especially if you're a frequent cutter. Again, that rush you get from pain can be as hard to break as drug or alcohol use. The thing is, this is way more life threatening than those. One wrong slip and you could slit an artery and bleed out in as quick as 5 minutes. Think about that one person that keeps you going- what would they do if they found you covered in a pool of your own blood, motionless, gone from this world. What would they say? Think about the panic of you running up to your parents after hiding it for so long, gushing out and begging for them to call an ambulance because you don't want to die? Morbid. I know. But those are thoughts that keep me up at night, thoughts that allow me to keep pushing back the urge.

Tip!: Baby oil can help reduce the appearance of scars overtime! Massage it into the area once a day and you should start to see fading in a week :)

Think about your reason, write it down. Remember it.

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Cutting Kit: Though I still strongly believe you shouldn't, here's stuff you should keep around for if/when you have a relapse.

Antiseptic. Clean your wounds and keep your items just as clean. Infections can kill you as quick as bleeding out if it gets into your bloodstream. -

Lighter. Run the flame over your blade to get some of the nasties off to prevent infection. This doesn't sterilize your blade, it stops the spread of germs. Never place the hot metal onto your skin though. -

Bandaids & bandages. Cover up fresh wounds and replace bandaids often to stop dirt or germs entering. -

Steri-strips. These help close wounds that may have opened up too much, they aren't stitches but they do the job. -

Wipes. I prefer the cooling kind to calm the sting of the cuts. They're better for cleaning fresh blood than tissues, plus tissues breakdown easier when exposed to liquids- you don't wanna get that stuff in your wound. -

Paper towel/toilet paper. To use when the bleeding has calmed down, press firmly on the wound to soak it up and to help with the blood clotting.

Tip!: If you need to cut, cut on your inner thigh. It’s easier to hide and there’s less chance of hitting a major vein or artery.

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Prevention Methods: What I find helps. Dive into some more methods to help yourself out too.

Rubber band/hair tie. Snapping something against my wrist has helped me hold off for quite some time now. It gives me that pang without permanently scarring my body. -

Exercise. Due to food being one of the main reasons I self harm, exercising helps put my brain at ease with no need for punishment. -

Hobbies. I play guitar, I draw, I write poems or stories, I read. Anything to take my mind off of the reason why I want to cut. -

Calling people. My partner is my go to. I go and piss off my sister too, she makes me laugh. And she's one of the reasons I'm still here. -

Crying. Crying. Crying gets all of my emotions out- sometimes gives me a headache and exhausts me. But hey, at least I didn't relapse. -

Stop, think. Stop and think- why? Why am I about to do this? What could I be doing instead? How can I fix my feelings? -

Put it off. Just put it off for five minutes, see if you feel the same way- rinse and repeat. -

Butterfly. I get my friends to draw on my arms, butterflies or their names specifically. If I cut, I kill the butterflies or I hurt my friends. -

This!! Yep! This blog is one of my methods to avoid hurting myself :)

Tip!: It's better to resist than it is to regret.

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Relapse: What happens if you slip up and relapse.

Don't panic. Things happen, what's been done is done. Breathe, calm down. -

Clean your wounds. Grab out your little kit, clean up the mess and your open cuts. Make sure they're covered so they don't get infected. -

Cry. It's okay to cry, whether its been two days or two years- things happen. Relapses happen. It's not lost progress, think about how much time you were clean for and how much more you can keep trying :) -

Reflect. Why did this happen? Why did you do it? See if you can avoid future situations like this in the future to stay safe.

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If you're in immediate danger, please- call your local emergency number. You're not in this alone <3

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Follow for more x Updates every week, Tuesday and Thursday. 6:30pm GMT +11.

[nordschleifes]

extra — la chica perfecta

➝ sometimes, you just need a shower and some japanese food to understand the obvious things

➝ word count: 2,7k

➝ warnings: smut

➝ author's note: this one shot takes place in monaco, the events of which are mentioned in chapter 6. i wrote it as a way to warm you up for the second part of the story and to close some points that i was feeling weren't clear. hope you like it.

They were sitting in complete silence.

The only sound that could be heard in the bathroom were her clothes sliding across her skin, landing in a pile on the tile floor.

Fernando felt his chest getting warmer. It was a strange feeling, but oddly familiar at the same time. It was something he hadn’t felt in a while, and it made him want to laugh and cry at the same time. 

— Are you just going to stand there? — Charlie asked, bringing him back to the present. She was looking at him skeptically, with her hands on her hips. Her expression contrasted sharply with the fact that she was standing in front of him, mostly naked. 

Fernando shoved his hands into the pockets of his pants, looking down at his feet as he started feeling sheepish.

— Well, you put on such an interesting show — Fernando replied, leaning back against the wall. Charlie rolled her eyes.

— Idiot — she muttered, reaching behind her back to unclasp the lavender bra she was wearing. She slid the straps down her arms, and the bra fell to the floor, along with the rest of her clothing. Then, she swept her hair back away from her face to secure it into a bun, securing the dark strands together with an elastic that she had been wearing on her wrist.

— You still do that the same way — the driver said, his voice quiet.

Charlie's eyes met his.

— What are you talking about?

— Your hair. You still tie it in the same way you did when you were at McLaren.

She blinked. She looked a bit disconcerted.

— How do you know that?

— I like to think that I have good observational skills.

— So you use them to notice how I tie back my hair? 

Fernando smiled.

— Yes. You put it all together, twist it and turn it clockwise before putting the elastic around it. 

The bathroom was silent again. With his eyes fixed on hers, the Fernando noticed the strange heat spreading across his chest again. How had he managed to ignore it for so long?

— You're weird — she said, after a few moments.

— As I said, I have good observational skills.

— You should use them to observe things thst are more interesting than the way I tie back my hair. 

— Like the way you drink your coffee? — he asked.

— Do you know how I drink my coffee?

— No milk or sugar — Fernando said — You once said that you liked it as “black and bitter like my soul”, which I thought was quite clever.

Charlie smiled, a little embarrassed.

— Well, it's true.

— I don’t think so.

— No?

— You're not bitter — Fernando  replied — In fact, you’re sweeter than I imagined.

They stared at each other for a few seconds before he smiled. It was enough to make Charlie shake her head.

— You really are an idiot — she muttered, turning to step into the shower stall. She turned on the water without saying another word. 

Fernando took a few seconds to start undressing, while the room filled with hot steam. After placing his clothes in the laundry basket and his watch on the edge sink, he stepped in behind Charlie, who was staring intently at the temperature markings above the tap, standing against the wall to avoid the stream of water coming out of the showerhead.

— What’s wrong?

— I'm trying not to turn into soup here — she grumbled.

— It would be a very tasty soup, I assure you — Fernando said, which made Charlie snort — Okay, let me help you.

After teaching her how to adjust the temperature of the water, they spent a long time under the hot spray, busying themselves with removing the remains of travel and party from their skin. As he rubbed the soap over Charlie's back, Fernando couldn't help but remember the first time he saw her.

He was nervous, more than he should have been that morning, even though he knew what was coming. It was another press conference, no different from the hundreds he had already taken part in. Maybe it was his mother's accusatory voice in his head, telling her he had to be crazy to believe in Ron Dennis again, especially after everything that had happened during the 2007 season, when he last drove for McLaren.

— And these are our performance engineers, all graduated from the best universities in Europe — he remembered hearing someone say — I’d like to introduce you to John, Anthony, Adam and Charlotte.

Fernando extended his hand first to her, and she shook it firmly. Charlotte had bleached blonde hair and blue eyes, so blue they reminded him of the summer sky in Oviedo. There seemed to be a hint of a blush in her cheeks, which made him wonder if she was as nervous as he was at that moment.

— You're quiet — Charlie murmured, bringing Fernando out of his thoughts again, his hand resting on her shoulder.

— Any problem with that? — he questioned, making her turn to him.

— Your silence almost always means you're thinking, and that's a problem.

— Is thinking a problem?

— If the person thinking is you, yes.

He raised an eyebrow.

— Why?

— Because that means you're planning something devious.

Fernando let out a laugh.

— Is that really what you think of me, nena?

— Well, you're still the bad guy, aren't you? — Charlie asked, an edge to her voice that filled his stomach with butterflies.

— Yes, I'm still the bad guy — he said, bringing his hand toher cheek — But that doesn't mean I'm always planning devious things.

— Does that mean you have room in your head for other things? — she asked, with an almost malicious smile.

— I always do.

Charlie got closer to him and wrapped her arms around Fernando's neck. With her breasts pressed against his chest, he could feel the heat her wet skin emanated. He could feel her nipples grazing his skin. However, contrary to what he expected, the anxiety that had consumed him until he set foot in his apartment had dissipated. There was no longer that almost primal need to be close to Charlie consuming him.

All he felt was… peace.

— What were you thinking, bad guy?

— I was thinking about you.

She clicked her tongue, looking dissatisfied.

— And your dick isn't hard?

— Maybe I was thinking of more innocent things, Charlie.

— Like what?

— Like the day we met. Do you remember?

Charlie gave a playful little smile.

— It's hard to forget the day I first met the biggest asshole I’d ever know.

— Oh, come on, you met Ron Dennis before me, no? — Fernando, his voice teasing, causing Charlie to shake her head in disapproval — If you must know, I didn't think you were an asshole that day.

— No?

— No. In fact, meeting a female engineer was hard to forget, at that point.

Her smile faded, almost as if the driver had touched on something that made her sad or uncomfortable. “Me and my big mouth”, he thought to himself, as he tried to formulate something to make the sentence more pleasant.

— And then you used it against me — Charlie muttered before he had a chance to say anything. 

After she talked about that fateful afternoon in 2015 during a debrief, he couldn't get the story out of his head. Fernando was so upset about the whole car situation that he hadn't even realized that the blonde, blue-eyed woman was the one named Charlie who was mentioned every time performance was discussed. And, in a moment of irritation, he said the worst thing he could say to her, as if those words could transform that car into something remotely drivable.

— Because I'm an ungrateful asshole —Fernando said quietly — And I apologize for that.

Charlie blinked, almost as if he couldn't believe what he had heard.

— Are you…

— Regretful? Yes — he replied — Ashamed of how I acted? Wanting to go back in time and punch myself in the face? Yes, but that's beside the point.

The end of his sentence caused the shadow of a smile to appear on Charlie’s face.

— I was blind with anger, with frustration, especially after so many years trying for a third title with Ferrari and failing — Fernando continued. Now that he’d started, he found his words coming out like the water of the shower running behind Charlie — I simply didn't see the effort you were putting in, or how willing you were to help me. I was just an asshole when, in reality, I should have been thanking you for still having hope in that shitty car.

— I was very naive…

— No, Charlie. You were the person I needed to listen to, and not the others who wanted us to carry on like we were until the end of the season and pray for the next year to be better. I should have been more involved, tried to help fix things with you — he said. After a few seconds of silence, he let out a long sigh, lowering his head — Forgive me for everything, nena. Forgive me.

Charlie's hands slid from the back of Fernando's head towards his cheeks. Then, she lifted his face, her blue eyes filled with something warm and familiar.

— I forgive you, Fer — she whispered, before bringing her lips to his, kissing him delicately. The sensation caused a wave of heat to fill his chest as his fingers tightened around her waist. A few seconds later, Charlie rested his forehead against his — I forgive you for everything.

— Even for asking them to fire you?

— Even that, as stupid as it was.

They kissed some more, eventually finishing their shower and getting out. Fernando suggested they order something to eat, which Charlie agreed to. They exchanged a few kisses as they dried off and got dressed before getting comfortable in the living room. The hours passed by peacefully, the two of them talking and enjoying the sushi that Fernando had ordered as they were sitting on the living room floor.

— Nena, can I ask you a question? — He said, after taking a sip of the water.

— You just did — Charlie said, giving a small smile. When she saw him roll his eyes, she laughed — Ask, then.

— Did you receive any other job offers when you were at McLaren?

Charlie pursed her lips, thinking for a few seconds.

— Yes — she finally spoke — After Monza, I received an offer from Alpine.

— But you refused it, didn't you?

— I did.

— Was it because of me? — the driver asked, almost certain of what the answer would be.

— Yeah. Let's just say I wasn't ready to deal with you again...

Fernando let out a sigh. Maybe it was the right thing to say at that moment.

— I was the one who asked them to make the offer.

Charlie raised an eyebrow.

— You…

— After the race in Monza, I saw Daniel hugging you on the pit lane and handing you the trophy. And it was like it clicked something in my head, you know? If I wanted to win, I needed someone to help me do it, and you were that someone.

— And you thought I was going to change teams for you? — Charlie asked, looking skeptical.

— Well, I thought you wouldn't refuse an offer if the money was good…

— Their offer was only 10% higher, which wasn’t worth having to work with you — she murmured — So I saw no reason to take it.

— I figured. So much so that I asked them to improve the offer, to ask what you wanted and give everything. But, when they finally sent another proposal, you had decided to go to Aston instead.

Charlie giggled..

— Did you really want to work with me?

— Yes, nena. So much so that the first thing I did after I saw Sebastian's video  on Instagram was call Lawrence and tell him I was available.

Seeing Charlie's eyebrows rise, Fernando smiled.

— So quickly?

— I couldn't pass up the chance to work with you again. It would probably be my last and — he hesitated, looking at the glass of water — I wanted to do things the right way this time.

She sat up slightly, sitting closer to him. Their close proximity made Fernando's belly fill with butterflies. How could something as simple as sitting next to Charlie have that effect on him? How could that woman make him feel like a teenager at that age?

— I think you're doing well — she said softly.

— Well, I still haven’t gotten another win — Fernando began, being interrupted by a chuckle from Charlie — What?

— I'm not talking about your results.

It took him a few seconds to realize what the engineer was actually referring to.

— Ah, well — Fernando stuttered, feeling his face heat up — Do you think so?

— I do, Fer — she replied, bringing her hand to his face — You're doing very well.

Kissing Charlie felt inevitable for Fernando. It also felt inevitable to take her to his room and undress her, like a child opening a gift on the Dia de Reyes. However, more inevitable than all that was feeling his heart leaping inside his chest when he penetrated her for the first time that night.

There was something intoxicating about her, something he couldn't understand or explain. It was something in the way she gave herself to him, her eyes half-open and her breathing heavy as Fernando caressed every inch of her skin. It was something about the way she gasped and sighed as he moved slowly, her hands squeezing his shoulders, her nails digging into his skin. It was something about the way her cheeks turned completely red as a louder moan escaped her lips.

— Sorry — Charlie whispered as soon as Fernando suddenly stopped moving.

— For what? — he said through gritted teeth, trying to focus on her words and not on the way she pulsed around him.

— I didn't mean to be so loud — she said with one hand over her mouth, a guilty look on her face.

— No, it's okay — Fernando said, removing her hand from her face and taking it to the mattress — Actually, you have no idea how much I like to hear you moaning, nena...

Something about the words made her eyes darken with desire.

— I like listening to you too — Charlie murmured, as Fernando slowly moved again, biting his lower lip. And, almost immediately, he gave her what she had asked for.

The room was filled with the sounds that escaped their lips. Each of Charlie’s moans was matched by one of his, louder, almost as if they were in a competition. However, unlike all other disputes, Fernando never wanted to lose as much as he did at that moment. After all, losing meant seeing Charlie completely given over to pleasure, her mouth open in a perfect circle as her muscles trembled.

— Harder, Fer — she moaned, pressing her heels against the base of his spine, as if she wanted him to go deeper. And he knew he was capable of anything to dive into Charlotte and give her what she wanted — Touch my clit, I need more...

With his fingers massaging the spot just above where his cock was, Fernando realized how different sex with Charlie was to his previous partners. With other women, he felt as if he had no other concerns other than satisfying himself, but it wasn’t the case with Charlie. He wanted to please her at all costs, even if, in the end, he didn't reach orgasm, something almost unthinkable months before.

“What the hell did this woman do to me?” Fernando thought to himself, while his thumb drew circles over her clitoris. 

— Fer, I'm coming — she whimpered, her eyes closed tightly — Please, please, don't stop, please…

A split second later, Charlie reached her climax. As her pussy contracted with pleasure, Fernando quickened his own pace, moans escaping his lips as her nails dug into his skin, protesting the overstimulation.

When the driver came in the condom, he was sure that everything made sense, in a way it had never before. As he moaned Charlie’s name, Fernando simply became aware of the obvious.

He was in love with her. And it wasn't just because of the incredible sex they just had.

He was in love with the way she understood him without them saying anything. He was in love with her curiosity, even if it lacked the innocence her eyes seemed to convey. He was in love with the sparkle in her eyes, with her confidence, with the tired but completely satisfied smile that was on her face at that moment, as he pulled out of her and collapsed onto the mattress.

It was indisputable.

Charlotte Whitlam was the perfect woman.

[exclusivecolette]

it’s never over.

Pt.3

(not proofread, very rushed)

(if you aren’t blonde or don’t apply to the features, you can just put your own features in. i just put my features because i didn’t really know what else.)

Summary: A girl forced to move to massachusetts, meets a boy across the lake. As they spend their days with each other, they all fall in love. When one decides to end the relationship, the other one is left feeling abandoned. After a few years, they find each other again. But was the love strong enough?

TW: panic attack, cussing, hospital?

———————————————————————

My head was throbbing. Like I was banging my head against rock. I sprung out of my bed then out-

where am i?

I couldn’t look around to figure out. I just need the toilet. I open the door inside the room. Luckily it was a bathroom. I didn’t even bother to shut the door. I move my hair out of the way.

I let out a cough as my back hit the wall behind me. My arms propped up on my knees to hold my head. I can’t even think with my head throbbing.

I finally stand up and look in the mirror. I look down at the orange hoodie I was wearing. The orange hoodie.

“You can keep it, Y/n.” He stated “Don’t want it-“ i try. “Y/n-“ he interrupted just for me to interrupt him. “Chris- I can’t. Please” i let out quietly looking away, pushing his hand that held the hoodie. He just sighed.

I appreciate the hair tie on my wrist. I put my hair in a low messy bun.

where are my pants?

I think as i look down at the underwear I’d put on yesterday. My thoughts were interrupted by a groan. My head snaps. “what are you doing?” he asked in a low, raspy tone. “Chris what am i doing here?” i ask ignore his question.

“And where are my clothes at?” i walk out the bathroom and back into his room. “On the dresser- are you okay?” he asked in an worried tone. “chris i can’t be here” my breathing started to pick up. I put my hand on my heart and he stood up and started toward me. I put my hand up to keep him away. He wasn’t making it easier.

“y/n” He moved my hand. “Chris” i managed to let out but even his name made my heart start racing. “just come here” he said slowly stepping toward me. “just breathe” he start to pull me in. “i can’t” i whisper. And he just pulled me closer.

“im sorry. i’m sorry” he repeated quietly. My breathing started to slow. “I love you y/n. I always have.”

~~~~~

Y/n didn’t remember what happened last night. What she said, did, or how she got there:

“why didn’t you love me” her smile left her face. “i love you y/n” i say to her fighting back the tears that was begging to leave my eyes.

~~~~~

My breathing got worse than it was before. I suddenly couldn’t breathe at all. “stop” i gasp out pushing him off me. My hands held myself up on my knees. My vision went blurry.

I’m dying.

-

I felt my eyes start burning when they started to flutter open. I looked around. I and saw a sleeping chris and nick.

fuckkkkk.

Matt was sitting close to me. My hand was buried in his. His hand covered my entire hand. His head was down, he was on his phone. “Matt.” i whisper. His head shot up “hi y/n.” he said carefully scooting closer. “why am i here?” i say referring to the hospital room.

“You passed out or something.” he explain. A doctor walked in, “hey you’re awake.” she said carefully. “So what it looks like,” she looked down at her clipboard. “is that you had a panic attack, it shows you were drinking alcohol on an empty stomach. You haven’t ate in a while, and whatever happened this morning must’ve resulted in a panic attack.”

I felt matt’s head turn to me, but i couldn’t look. “So we just advise you eat, drink some water and you are okay to leave whenever you’re ready.” she walked out. The door shutting made the boys wake.

“Hi you’re awake.” nick said get close to me. I just smiled softly, but i couldn’t take my eyes off chris as he just looked at the ground with the most guilty expression i’ve ever seen. “Chris can i talk to you?” i ask watching his expression change as he looked up to me.

[yandere-fics]

I kind of imagine their spirit stuck in the item and being a looming spirit, but the reader and the OC are linked mentally. Like in the field while fighting their more focused of keeping reader safe and guiding their actions so they're in the item. While when it's calm, maybe walking through a market then they come have a "body" and loom.

I also have the idea that they have very limited control over the readers body. As well as having different kinds of control due to them being different items.

Like if Abigail sees reader do something that puts them in danger she jerks their arm hard enough to make them stumble back. As if she's grabbed them by the wrist. And when they try to leave to go on some dangerous adventure the hand that she's worn on grabs the other to stop reader from opening the door.

With Elisha who's a hair tie or a choker she might have slight control over the readers mind since she's so close the readers head. Same thing with Theanna and Ainsly.

I also think that when you realize how toxic they are they have ways to stop you from removing them.

Abigail constricts around you hand so tight she might end up breaking it. Veronia just wraps around you like a cocoon. If Elisha's a choker she tightens until you either tap out or pass out. If she's a hair tie then twists and pulls on your hair so hard it feels like you're being scalped. Ainsly makes the pendant untouchable whether it her heating it up or electrifying the thing. And Theanna squeezes around your temple harder and harder it feels like she's going to cave your head in.

Again this is just spooky brainrot so if you have anymore ideas feel free in hopping on bus. I'm interested in what you think too.

(I'm so sorry this took so long since I had to gather my thoughts on it but it's finally here, please enjoy.)

♡ Them As Cursed Objects ♡

Perhaps putting on the faintly glowing crown of the former leader who rose to power through mysterious methods was a bad idea, but with your fellow rebels gathering around you, you could deal with the after effects later. For now the kingdom needed a symbolic leader and you could always relinquish control to a real leader later so you put it on.

She didn't appear immediately, which now you realize was the crown luring you into a false sense of security. She wanted to make sure she got it right with this ruler so it started with your dreams being invaded. Dreams with brilliant ideas for how to lead the kingdom towards peace. Things that made you feel as though it were destiny for you to take control since you saw the perfect way to run things as you slept.

Then the specter from the corner of your eye. She looked to be a noble woman, dressed in the garb of a prince but when you turned to look at her, she was gone. It started as being in the corner of your dreamscape, weird dreams that you always remembered when you woke up and were way more comprehensible than before.

It wasn't long before she appeared in court, invisible to those around her, except you. Almost as if giving the message that she was behind all the peace in your kingdom, that you shouldn't allow the power to taint you. And you, well you were far more respectful than previous kings, it only seemed fair that you leave offerings for the spirit that was so generous to guide your decisions.

You weren't aware that she was tied to the crown until one day you were set to meet another noble, someone who could be your consort, when the spirit appeared and your crown felt as though it was tightening painfully. She glared in your room, and you obeyed, afterall she must have some reason that this one will not work out.

So you tried again, and again, and again, and it was always the same thing. There wasn't really any way to ask the spirit who you should marry since she never seemed to talk except for in dreams, and well in dreams you always seemed to forget to broach the subject.

It wasn't until two years into your reign when you began to discuss replacements, that she finally spoke and you almost wish she hadn't because it seemed the spirit thought of herself as the king and you as her queen. Like you two were romantically entangled and now that you knew that, she was only more persistent in her advances.

"I can not allow MY queen to retire, I swear anyone that you attempt to give the crown to share perish by my hand until you resume wearing the crown." It was in the library, you were looking through books of noble families who supported the rebellion to find a suitable candidate, when those words came out, the spirit shredding your book to pieces.

"That book was property of the royal library, please don't damage any property." You stood up and rushed out of the library, realizing it was kind of stupid considering that the spirit would always be at your location but you had to get out when you considered how possessively the spirit spoke to you.

She seemed to subsist until later in the day when she approached you in your chambers, you now being acutely aware of how the spirit watched you sleep at night. All her gazes as you danced at balls made sense now. When you laughed and got close to your rebel buddies. How angry she looked at your proposal letters, taking them and throwing them in the fire as she read them from behind you.

"I refuse to allow anyone else to be my queen, as long as the crown lasts, you shall be my queen and we shall rule together, darling." Her cold lips gave you a kiss on the cheek as she sat on your bed for the first time since this had begun and beckoned you. And of course, like a fool you followed, afterall who could disobey the spirit who made your kingdom so prosperous.

The hair tie was intoxicating, cursed artifacts always were but this one particularly so. It had made it's way into your wares and well, you had to know what the item was before you could sell it to your customers. You knew a curse object when you saw one so you felt it was best to try it on to see the effect.

It was only a day after that you generally seemed happier, your sleep was better, you seemed healthier, and your mind was clearer than ever. It was magnificent. Yet, you knew it was cursed for a reason and you didn't want to be responsible for a death by giving someone a product that they don't know everything about. It had to be tested by you, especially as you had warding devices around to ward off anything too malicious.

Some days it changed form, to a simple choker, like it could anticipate what you would want to wear that day, as if the object almost aimed to please? Cursed objects never usually were so friendly but you surmised this wasn't the typical object that you were dealing with.

Perhaps something cursed by accident without malice, an object made for nefarious purpose that had a will of it's own and didn't want to hurt people. Well that thought was disproven quickly, so quickly that you might have gotten whiplash.

There the spirit stood, in the middle of the market place, smiling as she killed the guards that stole all of your wares. Sure your wares were illegal but the only reason you got them confiscated was because you didn't want to pay a bribe. Well now you figured out why the object was cursed, but strangely, you didn't feel the need to take it off, even after seeing her tap the guards with her cold hands and causing them to instantly fall to the ground.

Your first impression of the spirit was that she was clearly loyal to her master, it would make her a great object to keep around, you couldn't sell this, it was too good for protecting your business. The second thing you noticed was she looked cute, the kind of girl that doesn't look like she would do these things, she didn't seem to fit the setting, as if she was born in another world.

You barely spoke to her but she spoke often, sitting next to you at your stall and telling you little secrets about every customer who passed. She never seemed to harbor bad intentions towards your customers either, sure she was protective but otherwise she seemed non-violent.

Or maybe that was the hair tie manipulating you to justify all of her actions. Either way, your life was better now so did it even matter if the spirit was made with malice or not? You couldn't even bring yourself to care about how it had made it's way into your wares or why it looked somewhat unfamiliar to this world. Why the hair tie came with a cute spirit with the power to kill in a single touch. It never mattered to begin with.

At least until a fling of yours visited your room at the inn one night, someone with no malicious intent but the girl didn't see it that way. One tap was all it took and you had a big mess to clean up. Oh well, it really didn't bother you, afterall things were so much better than before, right?

Coming from a family of sword fighters and not learning to sword fight made you the black sheep of the family. You were much more interested in becoming a proper lady and obtaining the love of a knight, but at the current moment you were from a lesser family ans so the only way to earn your way to court was to be exceptional. That was how you would be able to catch the eye of a pretty knight.

You did have one skill, and that was lore on magical items. Ones that made the wielder invisible on the battlefield, one that would get you exactly what you needed, fame and glory. A handsome lady who would swear a knight oath to you.

And thus began a year long journey to visit any old dusty caves that you could in order to find any object that called to you. Still you found nothing until you were alerted to a cave that had been caved in near your families property. And what is any desperate lady to do except to take a pickaxe and bust your way in there.

Your family would forgive you when your hard work paid off, and paid off it did when atop a pile of untouched goodies sat a beautiful knight, holding a glove and seemingly looking at you.

In truth she had been buried there for years and was unable to wander far from her glove, but before the cave in she would go to the edge and see you reading books of love letters in the meadow, hoping that when you got to court that a lady would swear and oath to you.

Abigail never got to have that in her human life before she was bound to the glove, but if she got you to put the glove on then you'd both get something that you wanted. She knew that knights were rarely loyal even after and oath of loyalty, and she knew your chances of going to court were slim to none, so she'd have to give the pretty maiden what she desired.

It's only fair since you pulled her out of the cave, and this way, you'd be protected no matter what. She'd always be able to guide you out of danger and she'd have complete control over her precious lady so she could guarantee that you wouldn't be meandering with any foolish squires, desperate for a crumb of attention(coochie).

The spirit, she called herself Dame Parley, though said you could call her any name you liked as it had been so many years that she forgot her mortal name, you decided on Abigail, wrote you lover ballads almost every day. You presumed she was just so grateful to be free from the cave.

Sure it was nice to have the attention of a knight but this wasn't what you were expecting, she rarely even allowed you out on the battlefield despite now having enough skill to become a hero. She didn't seem to want you to make your name known, content to stay on your small family estate.

You were the one who wanted a knight to swear their oath to you, and what was a more permanent oath than a cursed glove that promised you would be the only lady in their life and that if you ever died, they would have the glove thrown into a flame to go with you.

Veronia, the spirit, made a very nice travel companion. She said that she was bound to the coat in order to maintain the original masters health but now that you were the owner, she had to help you wherever you decided to go. You thought of her as a companion that others were unable to see.

She liked you far more than any other fool she had been made to serve, putting in more attention to detail than she had done prior. You actually spoke with her and bantered with her on your journeys, unlike the previous adventurers who had worn her.

Adventurers did tend to be a selfish bunch, you knew that all too well, your travels had been filled with strife before your luck changed and you met Veronia in an equipment store. You got a wonderful deal too since no one seemed to notice she was attached to the coat.

Your most common complaint on the road was having to cocoon in Veronia's coat temporarily so the other adventurers who were destroying your camp would see you, and so you wouldn't see when Veronia made her appearance and slaughtered them brutally.

You always wondered why that was the only time she showed herself to people other than you, but otherwise you weren't too bothered. She was just your companion until you reached the quests end after all and she was good company, minus the murder.

Veronia didn't see it your way. How could she? I mean despite being a spirit, she also had a destined mate and it was you. It did take her longer to discover that then it would have if she had her physical form still, but all that mattered was that at the end of the day, she had finally found her mate.

Now she just had to find a way to broach the news to you. You'd understand right? She was your only companion on the trip, at least consistent companion, others tried joining but were often unsettled by her aura being all around you.

You were also the exception to the people that found her aura to be haunting. Previous users wanted her off as fast as they could, often thinking using the coat was more trouble than it was worth but you had been wearing her for months now so surely you'd accept her as your eternal companion.

Of course, you couldn't even find any complaints with this, being on the road was dreadfully lonely and having permanent company would be a blessing, right? Yeah, let's go with that.

Ainsley had come to you with the bargain first, the pendant dangling from her hands. You had limitless potentially when it came to the study of magic but very little mana. Ainsley had infinite mana but no body anymore to continue to use it with.

She was property of the magic academy but no one had been allowed to wear her until she decide she wanted you to be her wearer and the academy had to oblige though they were warned not to warn you of any of the side effects.

She'd fallen in love with you as she saw your study, the way your mind worked when it came to magic was incomparable and she knew that you two must be destined for each other. She just had to make the circumstances to make it happen.

It wasn't hard to make the choice to wear the necklace, although you were a little bit bothered by the flirtatious spirit inside, a spirit was all she was so it wasn't like anything could actually happened and you wanted to progress your research before marrying your wonderful fiance so it was a win in your book.

Ainsley really wanted to give you privacy to begin with, she really did, she swears, but seeing you giggle and kick your legs like a schoolgirl when you received letters from home, was just pushing her limits.

For a genius, you were so blind to her advances so she should have seen this coming. She needed to work harder, after all you two were soulmates and with your weird circumstances, it meant she had to push for the relationship much harder. You'd come around.

She had almost free roam of the academy but usually chose to remain at your side, near the necklace so she could guide you in the right direction when you needed a firm scolding. Her free roam would work to her advantage.

The kingdom was desperate to keep her infinite well of mana on their side so they'd do her almost any favor, including sending a woman to seduce your fiance and then send you proof of the seduction so you'd realize that being with mortals when you were on the cusp of immortality, was extremely foolish.

The immortality was just a fun little surprise she'd tell you about later once you finally were rid of the mortals who were holding your studies back. Afterall, only those with a use were good enough to be near her baby girl.

[glossgwen]

oh how i hate big parties

dreamwastaken x fem!reader

a/n: this is actually a portion of my novel but i made it into 2nd pov since i wanted to share the plot line and stuff ,, so hello to chapter 4: the gala but with dream

The Committee

1600 Pennsylvania Avenue, N.W

Washington, DC 20500

Mr. and Mrs. WasTaken

58931 Embassu Drive

Elkon, MD 21921

“Dream, what the fuck is this?” You were quick to shove the letter in his face, ignoring his silent protests.

“Why am I supposed to know? Just because it’s from the Committee doesn’t mean I know everything about it.”

“Oh, that's not my issue. It is to the WasTakens. Mr. and Mrs. WasTaken. Dream, you do remember we don’t share that name, correct?” Your tone was venomous, matching the look in your eye.

“Do you not want to be Mrs. WasTaken? Why don’t you actually open the letter, pretty girl,” He spoke softly. His hands grazed your hip, squeezing lightly. “Just remember, you are mine.”

“I really doubt that, especially from a man like you. I find absolutely no sort of interest in ‘being yours’. I’d consider you a narcissist, but you know,” you spoke, words dripping with a venomous tone. Fingers gripped the letter, fingertips turning a bright shade of white. Your eyes scanned the countertop, finally finding the knife.

Seconds passed, knife in hand. Your hands trembled, not knowing what she was supposed to expect from the letter. Opening the letter, you discovered a sheet of paper with text in gold, almost as if it were done by hand, letters frilly and beautiful.

August 14, 20XX

To whom this may concern,

You are invited to the Committee’s Gala of the century. You are expected to attend, as your spot at the Committee's top may falter without attendance. You are some of our finest members. Guests will come thousands of miles to finally meet you.

The dress code is black-tie, so make sure you come dressed in the proper attire. The address is on the RSVP sheet, please call or email to reserve your seating.

The Committee

“Dream, are you reading this? We actually are required to go? And we’re supposed to go together? Oh my god,” your voice trailed off. “Wait, it’s literally tonight... I’m calling them now, to make sure we have seats. I know I should have the proper attire, but I can get you some as soon as possible.”

You could hear Dream chuckle, how he must have been smirking. Your mind was racing, almost forcing a migraine to form. So many things to do within so little time.

It didn’t take too long for you to rush to find one of your old dresses, though finding Dream a suit with hours' notice was extremely difficult; you ended up finding a black button-up and black dress pants. You almost went together perfectly, complete opposites. Together you both were almost god-like.

Minutes blended into hours as you forced herself to transform almost into another person. Plucking ingrown hairs, washing your hair, re-dying your roots, all so that you could get attention. It was almost like your makeup was formulated for your skin, all of the work that you put in seemed to have perfect results.

“What are we supposed to be again?” You stood in front of the mirror curling your hair. Everything you were doing seemed meticulous, each curl being pinned in place perfectly. Your makeup seemed to be done seamlessly; it made your skin glow in a way. Everything you did made you look perfect.

Dream smiled softly. “I was thinking hopelessly in love. They don’t need to know that we’re partners of a different kind.” He walked up behind you, his hands ghosting over your hips as his lips grazed over your shoulder.

Your face fell once you felt his hands traveling lower, almost grazing your ass. You spun around and grabbed his wrists without a second thought. “Move your hands one more time and I can’t be held responsible for my actions. Do you seriously believe I’m dumb enough to believe the bullshit that spews out of your mouth? Let alone how your body acts,” you scoffed.

You pushed him into the wall as you walked out. You almost glided as you walked over to your bed, to slip into heels. Everything you wore was as if it was made with your body in mind, though they had been modified months earlier. You put in so much work to be entrancing almost with the motive of being a siren who could lure in a sailor.

“I hope your shoes are decent for this event, my love. We need to look put together,” you murmured as you bent over to finish the clasps around your ankles. “And if you come up behind me one more time, we won’t go.” You heard him laugh from across the room. Everything was so overwhelming, even though you had done similar events to the Gala. Maybe it's because you knew you loved him.

Everything was moving so fast, your mind couldn’t even comprehend how your body had made it across the house without remembering it.

“Little lamb, you’re moving quite fast. Are you okay?” His voice was soft, almost concerned in a way. His words were too kind, especially for how gruff he was naturally. “Please, if you aren’t alright I would like to know. At least let me help you, okay?”

Your body almost completely softened under his touch. Even though he had just grabbed your wrist, you still felt at home.

“We should be going, Dream,” you spoke dryly.

“Oh, you’re right. We should be.” You watched as he grabbed the door handle for you, holding the door. Everything was falling into place, even if it truly were just a facade.

You did everything to keep a straight face—pursing your lips, keeping your mind in another world. All because you didn’t want to start believing you both had feelings for one another. You loved him and he was only reciprocating it because he had to. This would be a night she would need to cherish forever.

When they both got into the car, you didn’t expect him to put his hand on your inner thigh as he drove. It drove her crazy, knowing he was physically playing into your fantasies. The false narrative was supposed to be a romance. Your dream of actually having a partner in crime, even if it is only for a while.

Your blood ran cold as he drove; Dream was speeding almost the entire time, one hand on the wheel and the other on your thigh. Your face was almost maroon; his touch made the skin beneath it hot. Everything about this situation was dangerous. The darkness almost enclosed the car, the road lonely.

Time seemed to blur together, minutes turning into hours. You had been staring at him for the past few minutes, ignoring the sideglances Dream had given you. You essentially had heart eyes—big doe eyes full of adoration and desire. Your vision blurred stating so long due to the extensive focus on his features. Like, how his left hand tapped the steering wheel as he drove. Or how he occasionally drove with his knees if he wanted a cigarette. Or how he occasionally gave you a look and smiled.

“You know, I can feel your eyes burning a hole into my body, Y/N.”

Oh. Did he notice? Shit. His words your you shrink back into your seat. It almost drained her confidence and left you a puddle on the floor. “I– Uh. I’m sorry about that, to be honest. The driver's window has a better view,” you lied; it was straight through your teeth. Your skin was almost dusted with pale pink, from her cheeks to the tips of your ears. “I just really like how the sky looks on your side since the moon is on that side.”

“Oh? Are you sure that’s what you’re looking at?”

“Pretty sure, pretty boy. Now, how much longer until we finally arrive? I am so exhausted,” you breathed. Your voice was strained as if you were choking out her words. Your thumb massaged at one of the pressure points– skin between the pointer and thumb. You had to force yourself to look forward, instead of to the boy on your left.

“Only a few more miles, calm down. I’ve been driving 30 over so we would get there faster.” His thumb rubbed your thigh in small circles.

“You know, you don’t need to put up with my crap. Even at an event that's a luxury. I want you to understand you don’t need to act as if you love me. If you can’t fake it well enough do not try at all,” you said, the words burning your tongue.

“Oh, so you want to play that? Fine. Tonight will be a turning point for this ‘relationship’. Let prove that you shouldn’t believe that,” he smirked. You could feel his hand ghosting further and further up your thigh. Just until he was about to... You huffed when he finally took his hand off of your leg.

“You need to stop doing that. You give off mixed signals, especially with what stunt you just pulled.”

“And even if I am? I do not believe that’s what I’m doing. Quite frankly, I just think you have a crush on me,” he said as his smirk turned into a smile.

Your face deepened in color, face matching a bing cherry. You knew this was just to make you flustered and quite frankly it was working. All of his actions made your mind spin causing your judgment to become clouded. You just wanted to worship him. To finally give up the power and fame. To go back to being normal.

Your body jerked back to full consciousness when she felt the car stop. “I honestly didn’t even notice we were...” Your voice trailed off. As you looked out the window, you looked like you were a kid in a candy store. “Wow… This was not the house we had the gala at last year.”

The house looked like it were out of a movie; it was surrounded by lush green hedges–the ones that had to have a special gardener trim them every time they outgrew their shape. The courtyard had a fountain in its center, with bushels of flowers encasing it. The driveway was full of cars that had to be worth millions. The entrance to the house was glass, so all guests could see into the foyer.

You knew it was worth the pain. All for tonight. They would be worshiped. People would know who they both were.

You smiled as you got out of the car. Dream snaked his arm around your waist, pulling you into his side. Almost as if this was proof you were his. How you were owned. Galas seemingly always made you cocky, but that's when you did not have a date. Now, you had one and he was one of your own.

“When you walk in there, keep your head up. Drink if you’d like. Make some friendly conversation. Just, be likable. I know you have a really shitty personality, so drink.”

You stopped walking. Instead, you grabbed Dream’s arm to force him to face you. Wrapping you arms around his neck, pulling him forward and knocking the wind out of him.

Your lips met with the side of his neck, teeth meeting with its skin. Finally being able to prove you own him. Finally even.

“Ow- what was that for?”

“Instead of having to be on your arm, it's proof you have a date,” you smirked. It was almost as if you were on the same playing field. Maybe faking love wasn’t going to be so hard.

You were finally able to enjoy the moment. The crisp northeast wind. The smell of freshly mowed lawn. A slight aroma of flowers from the garden. The stars were so clear. It's as if the night was going to be perfect.

“Let’s show these people what they’re missing.”

Fingers intertwined, you both walked up to the foyer while admiring everything in its path. You could feel Dream’s thumb on the back of your hand in small circles: the one sign he cared.

[casspurrjoybell-32]

Runaway Wolf - Chapter 25a

*Warning: Adult Content*

Levi Blackman

My shaky hands fumbled with the gold tie around my neck.

I glanced up from what my hands were doing in the full length mirror to see my light grey suit making my already pale face seem paler.

Was I really going to do this...?

I laughed shaking my head, hell yeah I was.

But I've never been so nervous in my life as I was right at this moment.

Taking a deep breath I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself with images of my beautiful mate which usually did the trick but this times it caused more butterflies to go fluttering around in my stomach.

"I think I'm going to throw up," I muttered to my reflection.

Reaching up I smoothed my long gelled hair back with an unsteady swipe of my hand when I noticed a shadow in the background lurking in the mirror and turned around.

A smiled grew wide on my face.

"What's with that nervous face? You look like your gunna shit you pants," Caleb said from the doorway.

He was dressed in a navy blue tux and his hair was gelled back.

"Caleb," I cried and ran to hug him.

It has been forever since I've seen him and it was a good thing he was here because I was in desperate need of his presence.

"How you been, Levi?" he muttered hugging me back.

"I've been well," I said shakily.

"I can tell from the 'I'm about to faint' expression," Caleb chuckled clapping a hand my shoulder.

I smiled before it fell and Caleb shook his head with amusement.

"Come here," he said reaching out and straightened my disaster of a knot.

"You look very handsome, Levi."

I met his gaze

"I still can't believe it."

"Me either," I said letting out a heavy breath.

"At least Kyle's seen the error of his ways," Caleb said give the tie a final tug before brushing his hands down my jacket smoothing out the wrinkles.

"You can say that," I mumbled to myself dropping my eyes to the ground.

'I just wish he hadn't been tortured to see the errors., I thought.

"I heard about what happened to him."

I glanced up to meet his eyes and I could see the concern and anger in them from what Kyle went through.

"I wish I could help him get past it but I can't. I can only help those with mate problems."

I nodded in understanding.

I remember when I though Kyle had left me, Caleb had help me and my father get past our grief of the loss of our mates.

"I know," I said hugging him again.

There was a knock on the door and we both looked to see my dad in the doorway in black suit and a smile on his face.

"Are you ready?" he asked me.

I bit my lip and glanced over at Caleb who nodded and pushed me towards my dad.

"Let's do this," he said, closing the door behind me.

As my father, Caleb and I walked down the fancy hallway of the hotel we were staying at I couldn't help but think about how this all came about.

I smiled as memories of that night came back to me.

How Kyle had confessed his love to me in out bed.

I remember how I thought my heart would explode just from the overload of feelings I was getting.

How I couldn't speak a work as he let me know his heart in that special moment we had together.

I though nothing could top this feeling of love and safety he was giving me and I him when he whispered those few words to me and I couldn't believe them.

We had moved up in our relationship in these last few months but what really made me believe that was the day I confessed to Kyle about the marks on my wrist.

I knew he had seen them but made no move to mention them which I was grateful for.

I told him about the way I felt the time I though he had left me and went to finish my pain in the bathroom thinking that is want he wanted.

I felt ashamed of my actions as I told him my darkest secret.

I thought he would be mad at me for being such a fool but unexpectedly he had grabbed me close and cried on my shoulder apologizing for all he put me thought and I joined him as I told him that I should have searched for him and not have given up like I did.

I remember how my heart ached as he gathered my wrists in his hand and pressed soft warm kisses on each scars.

"You will never have to go through something like this ever again, I promise," he told me and I truly believed him.

Mere days later he told me he loved me and made an even bigger leap and asked me a question I never thought I would hear.

[openmouth4cock]

Hogtied for real

Another key moment I clearly remember with my second love was the first and only time that I got hogtied by someone for real. We had two handcuffs that we occasionally used for sex play. These were made from proper metal. Once they were around your wrist you could not get them off and if they were too tight they cut into your skin. 

I asked her whether she would want to tie my ankles and wrists to the back with the chains of both handcuffs going over cross - a simple hogtie with 2 handcuffs. She was a bit hesitant but finally I could convince her that I really would like to do this. I told her she did not have to do anything and that I would try it myself and that I may needed some help (which I knew that I would not need it).

I put the first handcuff around my ankles. Then I lied on my side with my hands on my back. The second handcuff klicked around my left wrist. I pulled my legs closer to my hands. I wrapped the chain around the other handcuff's chain. I put my right wrist into the handcuff and .... klick. 

This was the first time I felt complete helplessness. This was the first time only one other person would be able to untie my. I was hogtied for real. The handcuffs cut into my skin. It was painful and I loved every single second of it. My penis was rock hard. 

She wasn't quite sure what to do next so I asked her to roll me on my belly as I could not do it myself. Then I asked her to position her vagina right in front of my face so I could lick her. She did as I told her and I licked her pussy. It was so good. I could have done that for hours if it hadn't been that tough on my neck. I would have loved her to simply grab my hair and fuck my face with her pussy really hard. However, I did not dare to ask. 

Instead she wanted to fuck me. Given the position I was in, that did not work well and proved pretty much impossible. Instead she gave me a blow job and I shot a massive load down her throat. That orgasm was ecstatic. One of the best in my entire life.

Unfortunately, we would never do it again. However, I also would never forget the helplessness and the pure joy I felt licking her pussy. 

[pottersshead]

“...The Ring?”

Eddie Munson X Reader

Authors note: it’s been so long since I wrote something and I miss it. I came up with this scenario while I was trying to sleep the other day and I just had to put it somewhere! (Also I know this used to be a Harry Potter type blog but I’m adding Eddie in too because... it’s my blog and my rules🤗) (I also said I wouldn’t post this if yk... but I really enjoyed writing again!)

Summery: Eddie gives reader one of his rings with the promise they must wear it all the while they are a couple but when reader takes it off to have a shower while staying over at his trailer and he notices it on his bedside table expect some insecure!eddie. (Just image no Vecna or something idk I can’t do all the work😉)

Being at Eddies trailer was a second home for Y/N and they loved it! With Eddie’s uncle away a lot working it’s gave them lots of alone time, sometimes more then they knew what to do with, so what did they do? Absolutely nothing except cuddle in Eddie’s bedroom.

“I’m way too relaxed right now” Eddie said with an unlit cigarette hanging loosely from his lips, more for comfort then anything.

“Me too but I need to get up and have a shower” Y/N said while pushing themselves up off from Eddie’s bed and moving more towards his bathroom grabbing a towel and tying their hair up with the hair tie they had wrapped around their wrist and in one very swift motion. Eddie also got up and made his way to the kitchen grabbing some stuff out of the fridge and minding his own business. Y/N was looking in the mirror trying to wipe off any left over make up from the morning, considering it was summer most of their make up had been washed off with sweat already making their job so much easier. While wiping off the make up they noticed they still had all of their jewellery (one of their items being the ring Eddie gave them as a promise) on remembering to take it off before showering not wanting to damage it. They picked it up and moved it back in to Eddie’s room and leaving on the slightly stained bedside table and going back to the bathroom and starting up the shower.

Eddie was sat, beer in one hand, with both arms around the back of the couch in a tank top and some shorts. After taking a deep sigh he realised he left his lighter in his bedroom… so he got back up grumbling and groaning, muttering things under his breath, complaining that he has to get up again. As soon as he stepped through the doorway he noticed the ring on the table and his heart broke.

February 1986

It had been a year (almost two) since Y/N and Eddie started dating. They had just gotten back to Eddies trailer after spending the day with Robin and Steve. Both Eddie and Y/N were buzzing from the excitement of the day as they got out the van and opened the door to the trailer. In the heat of the moment Eddie turned around to Y/N and held a ring out in front of him. Y/N was taken aback by his sudden change in mood.

“Y/N today is the most fun I’ve had in a long fucking time and it made me realise... you’re kinda perfect for me” he stuttered our trying not to sound too cheesy or soppy aside from the fact that it was genuinely also hard for him to say as he’d never felt like this before.

“Now I want you to keep this ring and wear it for as long as we are together as some type of symbol...” he mumbled as he scratched the back of his neck with anxiety. As he saw Y/N start to laugh and the tears they held back then escape down their cheeks, he held the ring back out again placed it on their middle finger on their left hand (so it was near to their ring finger but not enough to look like a proposal)

Eddie sat on the edge of his bed with restless legs holding the ring in his hand waiting for Y/N to finish in the shower. As soon as he heard the shower turn off he was stood outside the bathroom door waiting for them to be able to talk.

“You took the ring off?” Eddie said to Y/N less than an inch away from their face inundating them with worry and questions while taking poor Y/N by surprise.

“Yes baby, I was having a shower. I took off all my jewellery” Y/N said placing a soft hand on the side of his face trying to console him proving to him that’s it’s okay.

“But we promised you wear it while we are together?” Eddie said back almost on the verge of tears but with a slight stern tone in his voice.

“Eddie, baby? I didn’t know you were so serious about it. We’re not breaking up, I love you, we’re still together!” Y/N said with a gentle look and slight chuckle trying to reassure the man in front of them.

“Are you sure?” Eddie quietly replied looking back up at Y/N with big brown puppy eyes while slowly sliding the ring back on to Y/N’s finger.

“Yes baby I’m very very sure” Y/N replies taking his face in to their hands and giving him a gentle kiss filled with so much love and emotion.

The two moved back in to Eddies room placing themselves on the end of Eddies bed with his head tucked into Y/Ns shoulder with tears slowly sliding down his face.

“I’m really sorry baby. I didn’t realise it meant so much to you” Y/N said with the most gentle voice he’s ever heard.

“It’s okay my love but please just promise me again that you won’t ever take it off again...I’m being serious this time” Eddie replied with a slight chuckle at the end of his sentence.

“I know Eds don’t you worry, I won’t do it again” needless to say Y/N never did.

[thousandfourhundreddays]

52. “I’m worried about you” prompt with mason plz! Reader has come down really sick and mason is really worried it’s making him upset to see her like it…turns out she’s pregnant 🥰

DAD MASON INCOMING❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

A/n Heyyy!! Thank you so much for your request, I really enjoyed writing it. Hope you enjoy!!

P.s. my writing is always so soppy, I’m so sorry🫠

The Best Surprise

Your body scrunched over the toilet, the cool bathroom tiles against your knees a stark contrast to the thin layer of sweat that now covered your skin. You stayed still for a moment, not daring to move in case another wave of nausea came over you. You’d lost count of the times you’d found yourself in this position over the past week, you felt like you couldn’t go more than a few hours without having to rush off to be sick, and between that, you’d never felt so drained in your life. You’d put it down to a bug, with the weather turning cold, you’d assumed it was a pre winter virus you’d caught, despite the constant post corona paranoid hand washing. Tears slipped down your cheeks as you eyes began to water, a burning feeling settling in the back of your throat. Your mind felt hazy, a familiar sensation over the past few days, before you suddenly felt a warm hand rest against your back as Mason began to rub calming circles against your skin. Only stopping a few seconds to tie your hair back with a hair tie that’s he’d now taken to keeping on his wrist for this exact reason. He’d subconsciously fallen into a routine since you’d been ill, every time remembering to tie back your hair, staying by you side until he moved swiftly to get a glass of water from the bathroom tap, encouraging you to get rid of any clothing that might make you too hot, but keeping them close by for when your sweat inevitably became a cold one.

Once you felt sure enough that the sickness has passed, you let yourself topple backwards, clumsily resting against the bathroom wall, keeping your eyes closed firmly in an attempt to fight off the dazed sensation that clouded your body. Mason brought his hand up to brush any stray strands of hair from your face that’d fallen loose due to his awkward makeshift pony tale as he crouched in front of you, His hand drifted to you cheek as he ran the back of his fingers over your skin soothingly, letting you lean into his touch.

“Do you need anything” he spoke softly. He’d realized a long time ago that asking ‘are you ok’ was pointless when you’d just heaved up the whole contents of your stomach not even thirty seconds ago.

“No, I’m ok” your voice was weak and horse, and summed up exactly how you were feeling right now.

Mason simply let out a sad sigh. He must admit, he felt a little lost as to what to do at this point. He didn’t want to annoy you, but he couldn’t watch you go through this any longer, and he definitely couldn’t hear you tell him that you ‘just have to let it pass’ again.

“I’m really worried about you, babe” he whispered

You knew he was right, and you definitely couldn’t take feeling like this for any longer. Letting your eyes flutter open, your brows creased as tears began to stream down your face, a mix of exhaustion and frustration and a million other feelings taking a toll on you.

Tiredly, you nodded your head, and you didn’t need to speak a single word for Mason to know that was your way of agreeing to get some help. Relief washed over him as he moved to sit next to you on the tiles, wrapping his arms around you tightly, holding you close to his chest whilst placing a soft kiss to your hair.

-

Mason managed to get you an emergency appointment at the doctors later that day, what persuasion techniques he used on the receptionist, you didn’t want to know.

He drove you to the doctors and insisted he came in with you. You told him he didn’t have to but secretly, you were relieved to have him with you.

-

And just over an hour later you were back at home, sat side by side on the sofa, shocked.

You were pregnant.

The drive home had been quiet. Mason grasping your hand tightly, refusing to let go as he drove you home as your doctors words played on repeat in your mind. You couldn’t quite describe the feeling, uncertainty sat in the pit of your stomach. The chance of you being pregnant hadn’t even crossed your mind. It hadn’t been anything like you’d imagined, there was nothing magical about the way you’d felt over the past few days, not like other people describe when they’re pregnant so the possibility never even occurred to you. You’d felt nothing but weak, drained and exhausted, but your doctor had assured you that it would get better after the first trimester. You couldn’t even begin to bring yourself to think about trimesters or baby scans or birthing plans yet. Of course, you’d thought about the prospect of having children, those frequent late night conversations about your future whilst wrapped up together in the duvet often ended in discussions of baby names and bets on whether you’d have a boy or girl, but you didn’t think those plans would come so soon. At the ripe age of 23, you were both at the peak of your careers, often skipping a good nights sleep for a night in town, stumbling home to eat a takeaway on your living room floor whilst watching a film with a target audience of an age at least a decade younger than you.

But beneath that lingering fear, there was the most undeniable love, stronger than you could ever imagine. And god you couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone other than your Mase.

You turned your gaze towards Mason, him intuitively doing the same. His eyes glossy with tears, mirroring your own, both of you overwhelmed as you both let out shaky, synchronized breathes, and for once, you were unable to read him. Until, he caught his bottom lip between his teeth, trying to withhold the grin he so badly wanted to let out, desperately trying to read your thoughts the same way you were, but he couldn’t quite hide the way his lips tugged at the corners, finally giving you an insight to his thoughts. Your shaky breaths faded into a bewildered laugh.

“We’re having a baby” you breathed, almost trying to get used to the unfamiliar words,

Instantly, Mason pulled you into his arms, holding you impossibly close. Resting your head against his chest, you felt his body begin to shake as he cried the happiest tears he’d ever shed in his life.

Reluctantly pulling back, he held your face between his hands as he brought his lips down to yours, the kiss so full of love and pride and excitement for what was to come and suddenly, timing didn’t matter. Everything felt perfect as you sat soaking in the realization that you were having a baby with the love of your life.

“This is the best surprise ever” he whispered against your lips, his voice barely a whisper, words kept for just you, him and your baby.

“The best surprise”

[little-fics]

Curiosity Killed the Cat

Fandom: Marvel

Pairing: Stucky x Reader

Request summary: you are not happy about your daddies new way of keeping track of you, but maybe you could warm up to the idea of it

Warnings: Age regression; pacifier mention; sort of leashes but its like a baby leash connected to a backpack; baby has hurt feelings; I could have missed something so please read at your own risk.

Word Count: 2.6K

A/N: I really hope you like it nonnie, I really enjoyed writing it. love you buggy boos <3

You wanted to look at everything not matter where you went with your daddies. At the park it was every dog, every leaf. At the store it was every fluffy thing you could find, every piece of candy or toy. If you saw something you wanted to look at, you were gone. Steve and Bucky had discussed their options after the fifth time you'd run off from them. It wasn't that they didn't want you to look, but you're their baby and you needed one of your daddies to go with you. The problem with that? You forgot in your excitement; a lot.

That's how you've found yourself in this predicament.

You were ready to go to the zoo, tattered thigh jean shorts and a pretty tie-dye shirt with SpongeBob's crew with cute purple shoes. You were bouncing on your heels at the door, waiting impatiently on your daddies. You know better than to go out the door and wait for them by the car, so you're whining, rushing your daddies.

"Papaaaa, it's time to go! We not gonna get to see eb'ryfin'!" Steve came rounding the corner, Bucky trailing right behind him with a lavender backpack in his hand that seemed a little full. Steve picked you up, balancing you on his hip, "We're almost ready little one," he wiggled his finger on your tummy, "we just want to show you something before we go." Bucky held the backpack up, smiling innocently.

It was so cute, it was a shade lighter than your shoes to match perfectly. It was plain, other than the pins and small keychain fidget toys your daddies had surely put on. He opened it up and it had a coloring book, a pack of colored pencils, your favorite pacifier and Lincoln the Ram, the oldest stuffie you had. You reached for the ram, and when you'd pulled him out you saw a bag of candy. Bucky laughed when your eyes lit up, "No baby, that's for today, you can have some later." You jutted your lip out and he shook his head, "Nice try, but puppy dog eyes only work on papa."

When you accepted that, Steve spoke up, "This is a special backpack sweetness." Your brows furrowed as you looked at it, not seeing anything about it. Bucky pulled out a stretchy cord that ended in a scrunchy like bracelet. "When you put this backpack on, daddy or papa will put this on." He slid it on his wrist and tugged at the cord close to his wrist, "So you can't go wondering off like you always do." You whined loudly, "Won' run off!" Your face in Steve's neck, letting out another loud whine.

“Oh silly baby,” Steve kissed your hair, “it’s okay, you’re not in trouble for being curious, we’re just trying to protect our kitty.” You let out a heavy groan, “No, don’ wanna wear it.” You clutched to Lincoln, your chin wobbling on edge of tears. “Dollie,” Bucky said softly, stepping forwards to rub your back, “it’s dangerous when you run away from us, you forget in the pretty head to tell your daddies where you’re going and we can’t find you.” You let out a long groan in protest and stayed in the crook of Steve’s neck, Bucky’s hand still on your back, “We can stay home instead of going and seeing all the animals, would you like that better?” Your head rose and you shook your head at him, “No daddy, I’ll wear it.” Bucky felt a strain on his heart when he saw the way your pout still rested on your face. “You won’t hardly notice it baby,” he kissed your nose, “not with all the pretty animals we’re gonna see.”

When you got to the zoo, Bucky unbuckled you in the back. You always sat in the middle because that’s where you were most protected, so he had to drag you out of the car a bit. “Okay baby,” he held the backpack up, “put ‘em in there.” You just stared at him a minute, “What if I pinky p’omise to be good?” He shakes his head, “Baby, you already are good. You agreed to wear it to be safe, we can’t go in if you’re not going to be safe.”

You huffed and put your arms in it, the band already around Bucky’s wrist. “Good girl, now listen to me baby, you gotta keep your backpack on, it can’t come off or it defeats the whole purpose.” You nodded deftly, body now trained on bouncing towards the gate. As you got around more people, Steve grabbed your shoulder and bent down to your face. “Did you hear daddy baby? That backpack doesn’t come off until we are back in this parking lot or you're in one of our arms, understood?” You nodded and Steve raises his eyebrows, “Yes papa, I understand.” He rubs your cheek with his thumb before giving you a quick kiss, standing back up.

It had worked remarkably well, you’d gotten distracted by all the animals as suspected. You were pulling Bucky around everywhere, and of course with Bucky came Steve. You pulled them to the lions rather quickly, jumping up and down, changing positions all over the outside of the enclosure to see them. “Daddy!” You ran to near the end of the enclosure, stopped dead in your tracks by the leash.

Bucky chuckled, but to you it was no laughing matter. “Wha’ you doin?” You pulled on him, shaking your bag roughly, “Baby, slow down okay, we’ve got plenty of time to look at the lions.” You made an angry face at him and continued to pull at the leash, “Come on! Wanna walk wif it!” You stomped your feet until he finally caught up with you. “Dis’ is why I always look wifout you, you too slow.” Bucky ignores your comment, mainly because you grab his hand and intertwined your fingers with his, shaking his arm and pointing at the big cat, “Take it home wif us?” Steve, who stood behind you, laughed in shock, “That’s a no from me bug, come on, let’s go see what’s next.”

With his recommendation you remember that there are so many more animals at the zoo. You squeak out a high pitched okay and take off skipping. Your long legged daddies had no problem keeping up throughout the next few hours, but then you had to potty. Truth be told, you were tired of looking at the giraffes anyway.

You glanced up to your daddy, who's whispering something in Steve's ear and laughing. You tug on him, and he turns toward you, "Gotta go potty." He smiled, nodding his head, "Of course bug, thank you for telling us without trying to run off." You grumbled and started walking to the bathroom, keeping the leash taught the entire time. You started to shrug off your backpack, irritation creeping up your spine before stopping.

You turned around to Steve and Bucky, a frown plastered on your face. You waited until they were dead in front of you, you slid off the backpack and pushed it roughly into their chest, stomping away to the bathroom. Both of them stared at each other for a moment, Steve commenting lowly, "Awfully grumpy." Bucky's mind swirled, you're not one to be outrageously bratty, so when you came back out, he knelt down and grabbed your hand.

"What's going on my buggy boo? Is something bothering you? You not feeling good?" You shrugged, pulling your hand back and taking the backpack with a wobbling lip. He made a clicking noise, smiling and took the backpack from you. "How about papa wears the backpack and I'll carry you, it's about time for lunch anyway, right?" You seem to instantly relax and let Bucky balance you on his hip, kissing your cheeks.

Steve slipped on the backpack, an odd and tight fit on his body but with the straps completely loosened, it had a millimeter of wiggle room. He starts to lead the way and Bucky whistles sharply at him. Steve turns around with raised eyebrows, but Bucky is looking at you with a 'can-you-believe-him' look.

Bucky turns to Steve, grabbing the bracelet part of the backpack and sliding it on your wrist, "You can't go running off either," Bucky looks down to you, giggling into his shoulder, "isn't that right sweetness?" You nod, looking up to Steve, shaking your wrist, "Papa we gots tuh know you safe!" Steve immediately catches on to what Bucky's doing, and smacks his forehead playfully, "How silly of me, huh dovey?" You pointedly nod, a smug look on your face, "Uh-huh, now nommies please!"

You're in a much better mood being carried by your daddy, shaking the leash playfully at Steve when you sit down at the table. He slid the backpack off of his back, laying it down on the table. "I thought maybe you'd like a dum dum while we wait on Daddy to come back?" Steve was bouncing you on his knee, already popping the sucker into your mouth. You laid your head on his shoulder, your eyes fluttering closed while enjoying the sweet lemon in your mouth, too asleep to notice it disappearing from your mouth.

Bucky sits down with Steve, smiling at your tired form, "I told you she'd tucker herself out and we wouldn't be able to get through the whole zoo today." Steve scoffed, "You act as if she's going to be willing to leave." Bucky kissed Steve softly before planting kisses all over your face, rousing you from sleep.

As much as you don't want to be grumpy, you can't help but frowning at Bucky. He just kisses your nose and tilts his head towards the food at the table. Your eyes land on the chicken strips first and your whole body bounces at sight of the large slushy on the table. "I-Buh-'S mine?" Bucky laughs at your apprehension to breaking the rules, don't have too much sugar. "Of course baby, we thought you'd like something sweet, like yourself."

When you are done eating lunch, Bucky tries to help you put your backpack on, but you run away from him, around the table. "Nuh-uh," you cross your arms over your chest and look to Steve with puppy eyes. "Baby," he starts, coming over to you, sitting on the metal seat, "what's going on? Don't you like your new backpack?" Your bottom lip wiggles again, tears in your eyes, "'S ugly." Steve looks shocked, "Honey, you love purple, what's really going on?"

That's when the damn broke, tears falling from your face and broken sobs coming out. Steve's holding his arms around you, and Bucky's found his way to rub your back. "Shhh, dove, tell papa what's got your head going so fast." You're hiccuping, letting out broken coughs with small gags, unable to form coherent words. Bucky grabs your chin, holding your straw to your lips, "Here baby, take a drink of your slushy." Somehow you listen to him, sugar is always a good bribe for you.

"Dollie," Bucky pulls you onto his lap, "what's wrong?" His eyebrows are raised, forehead against yours, noses almost touching. He's waiting for you to regain a normal breath to press harder. He doesn't get the chance, because you start talking before he can ask again. "J-jus- 'nother reason tuh ignore me."

Bucky's heart breaks, Steve's expression matching the hurt Bucky feels deep inside him. "What on earth are you talking about honey?" Your eyes start to tear up again and Bucky scolds you gently, "No, no more of that you hear me?" You nod and let Bucky wipe away one of your stray tears. "Honey, we bought the backpack because we were so worried, not so we could ignore you. You run around and poke at everything, you forget to tell your daddies what you're doing and it scares us. You understand baby?" You shrugged and Bucky sighed, kissing your cheek. He's about to say something else when Steve picks you up from Bucky's lap.

"Bucky, put the backpack on, let's go," he's gentle about it, but you're still upset. "No! Wanna see more pets!" Steve tries to lightheartedly chuckle, but it comes out dry, "Oh dove, we're not leaving the zoo, we're just moving on." When Bucky has the backpack on he puts the leash on your wrist, just as it was when Steve wore it.

Steve catches you shaking the band around your arm, and a lightbulb goes off in his head. "You see baby?" Steve starts, and you're confused, so he continues, "You're constantly playing with it, that means your eyes are on daddy at all times." You furrow your brows, a pout still resting on your face. "Go on Bucky," Steve nods in an opposite direction, and Bucky starts walking. When the leash reaches the end of its rope, your arm is pulled until Bucky turns around to face you.

You're hesitant, eyes flickering between Steve and Bucky, "No forgettin' me?" You're looking up into Steve's eyes, swimming with love, "Dove, you're everything on our mind every second of every day. We got it so if anything happened, anyone tried talking to me or Bucky, or we argued over dark or milk chocolate, we'd never be too distracted for you." You instinctively wrap your arms around his neck, cuddling closely to him.

You can feel the leash pulling on you, and it takes your attention away from Steve. Steve doesn't move his feet though, Bucky playfully moving side to side to pull at the cord around your wrist. "Papa, daddy's tryin' to run off!" You could hear Bucky laugh as Steve caught up to you. "Whatdya say we get some of that ice cream you love so much Dollie, before we go see the rest of the animals?"

You beam at Bucky, a genuine smile crossing your face that lights up your eyes. "Dippin' Dots!" You shake and dance in Steve's arms, "Lemmee down, lemme down! Dippin' Dots! Dippin' Dots! Dippin Dots!" Steve lets your feet hit the ground, and you pout a little, glancing to the backpack. Steve seems to pick up on your hesitation, "How about daddy wears the backpack, you wear the bracelet and hold my hand? That way everyone is kept together and safe?"

You happily take his hand, all wariness thrown to the wind when you started skipping. "Dollie," Bucky stops, making you and Steve stop in place. He looks stern for a minute, but then breaks into a laughing fit, pointing to the righthand turn at the intersection. "You were so excited," he kept laughing, moving you to see the stand with many balloons and a sign that says 'Dippin' Dots', "that you ran right by it!"

You take off running, Bucky and Steve quick to follow. They didn't bother trying to gently reprimand you, they didn't care if you were excited and couldn't contain yourself. In fact, they loved it, as much as they needed a way to keep track of you with the leash, they wanted a way to make sure they never miss your bubbling excitement.

When you've made it to the stand, you are tugging on Steve. He looks down to you, watching your eyes flicker to the balloons. He smiles at you, adding your favorite color balloon to the order. Once you'd all sat on a bench, he starts to tie the balloon around your free wrist but you jerk away. "Daddy," you turn to Bucky, "we switch." You starting pulling the backpack off Bucky without waiting for a response, causing him to struggle to shuffle around his dippin' dots while laughing at you.

You've safely switched who holds what, now chowing on your dippin' dots in your hand and a y/f/c balloon on your wrist. You're starting to think the backpack isn't so bad, maybe you can convince them to buy you more of the things you want if they see you so excited over them.

Or you could always pout about the backpack and get what you wanted any ways.

[4dtk]

jaehyun as a bf

anon: “your writing brings me butterflies i love it you are so underrated!!!!! would love to request a jaehyun bf headcanons (like the one you did of mark <3)” thank you for the kind words anon <333 hope you enjoy this one!

(a bit of a plug lol but check out NCT 127's ideal r/s headcanons in this post!! i appreciate you checking it out! <3)

brief mentions of sex, but nothing explicitly nsfw!

likes to talk about music with you

especially jazz. there’s a plethora of songs out there with different renditions and sometimes he likes to ramble about who’s rendition he likes best

would play the piano for you if you asked, just maybe not after schedules or something. but usually when you’re free or alone together in the room, he likes you to sit beside him to listen to him play

you guys like to play a little game where he’ll play the chords and you play like a random note to create blobs of music

even if you don’t know how, the way the session always dissolves into giggles is his favourite thing in the world

if you know how to play the piano that’s great too!! jaehyun just likes the unexpected notes that come out since there’s no set melody in his mind

jaehyun needs to have some part of his body on yours at all times. like he has to hold your hand all the time, or a finger hooked around your backpack, or an arm around your waist.

at least when you’re together he does it very often and he’s just. obsessed with you lmfao

it’s also the reason he buys a promise ring when he’s sure of you as a significant other so you always have a part of him with you (his love)

would buy you those lockets for you to put pictures inside. he doesn’t care where you wear it though, around your neck, wrist, ankle, as long as the locket is on your person

he clings onto you like crazy in the mornings. jaehyun’s a heavy sleeper and likes to hug you on his side, so you’re always having trouble trying to pry him off of you in the morning

a bit nsfw: he likes morning lazy sex lol, ngl. jaehyun adores the rawness of your relationship in the morning and the sleepiness in your eyes when you’re gently pushing him away. he knows you don’t mean it but he makes sure you really want it first

loves the sunlight kissing your skin and the slow, gentle movements

so so intimate, he prefers it to the rougher forms of sex, but sometimes he doesn’t have that luxury since they leave for schedules quite often in the wee hours of dawn

for cuddling sense, jaehyun likes it when you’re under his arm and cuddled into his side. classic position but he dies every time inside when you look up at him and there’s this clueless look you have. has the biggest smile on his face after and you have to repeat the stuff you said bc he’s too distracted by how your eyes shine

second hot favourite (more of when you’re making out) is when you’re straddling him. nothing sexual, just like you on top of him when you’re kissing and stuff. he digs it when you’re pulling away for oxygen and he has to lift his body to reach for your lips again

gets flustered from kissing, but doesn’t show it. if he’s found a way to suppress the crazy crimson on his ears (which i doubt) then he will but his words will always contradict his expression

jaehyun can say “are you nervous, y/n?” with a smirk but his ears keep giving him away!!!!

mfer’s hands are shaking too when he trails it over your body. in disbelief you’re his.

sometimes shamelessly moans into the kiss LOL, not too loud but he whines when you pull away, and has to kiss you breathless again

when you kiss him, expect like a long-lasting kiss. doesn’t mind small pecks and stuff but he’ll want to savour your lips a little longer than a mere peck

jaehyun likes your neck too. when you’re hugging his face is always in your neck, placing small little butterfly kisses

you need to look out for him, always. mans always tripping over something at some point. it’s become more frequent now that he has you and my god he’s so unable to keep his eyes off of you that he trips over simple things. he once tripped over nothing

on the daily when he’s not tripping over you, he’s clumsy in a sense where he drops food on the table. he once struggled to tie up his growing hair into a mini ponytail bc it was just too little hair. the hair tie slipped from his fingers and shot itself into your face - those kinds of small small mishaps

it’s endearing but sometimes you can’t help but laugh at him

likes to take you out on impromptu dates. dates that are close by and easy to plan (?) i guess.

not saying jaehyun is a lazy boyfriend but he likes the more candid dates where you decide what to do as you go along. of course if it’s a big day like your anniversary or birthdays then he’d want to plan something out.

other than that, he just either lets you choose the places to go there or you two decide along the way. he doesn’t want to impose options for you and pressure you. if he’s being honest, he wouldn’t know where to go either lol so he just follows wherever you bring him

laughs so much when he’s with you. giggles, deep laugh, whatever you name it. your relationship is very light-hearted and he finds that he’s the one laughing more when you deliver jokes even tho he wants to make you laugh too

i can’t lie… his jokes can be dry sometimes i’m sorry jaehyun 😭 so he backs it up with laughter and has to catch his breath sometimes bc he finds it really funny

you’re not laughing at the joke, rather at his laugh so you might have to tell him that some way or another bc he’ll just keep making bad jokes i’m sorry y’all

he can’t handle the suuuuuper cheesy physically affectionate films or series (with shitty plot) but i feel like if the story’s interesting enough he’ll pay attention. likes bittersweet films too, i feel, gets him thinking

doesn’t mind cliched plots (fake dating / idealist girl meets realist boy / idk any others lol) but would propose something at the end that he thinks will make the movie/series more interesting

jaehyun likes to share his theories with you

unironically wants to learn the la la land tap dance scene with you. he ALWAYS hums city of stars too, no matter what. idk why but it sticks to him, in bed, in breakfast, when he’s doing something random

he did it once on the radio and he received a text from you in break that told him he was humming along to the song

with that said, jaehyun wants to try out the stuff in the rain quite a bit. making out, dancing, lying down, running, he likes that fascination that society has with doing things in the rain

doesn’t like it too much that he’ll get soaked, but as long as you’re with him and willing to do it, he’s all for it

jaehyun would def want kids in the future. wants to dote on them and buy them stuff and whatnot. wants to see them running around the house with laughter while you both struggle to contain the bursts of excitement they have

doesn’t care for the dynamic much. if he’s the one to stay at home to take care of them while you work, he can work with it. if it’s the other way round, he’s okay too

he just worries that if he’s still involved with the entertainment industry, you might have to take a back seat since he’ll be the one earning the money, and he doesn’t want babysitters either.

heart is so so full when he comes back home and you’re just playing with the kids, or singing them to sleep. any sight of you with him is enough to make him melt into a puddle

HAS to hold them even if they’re asleep. wants to always have them close to him while he nudges you to shower or get the food ready.

like jaehyun, he would wanna meet someone in a vinyl shop or bookstore. he knows it’s cliched but the thought of meeting someone when you’re buying something is exciting. anything unexpected for him, he welcomes it

the next few are just random, miscellaneous headcanons: he likes to see you in his clothes, preferably with nothing underneath. just his shirt lol. cheeky man

jaehyun likes it when you shower together (again, nothing sexual, just likes the domesticity)

likes it when you fall asleep on him

will never stop gushing about you to his parents, first time you met them they’re like “he’s told us so much about you!” and he really did

feels comfortable in your presence, no makeup, messy hair, no need for a perfect bod. he’s just jaehyun. jung yuno if you will

adores it when you call him “lover” i mean boyfriend is good, significant other is good, but lover is just chef’s kiss

it is a bit cheesy if you think about it, so it’s not often that you say it. when you do say it in songs when you’re singing it to him, he can’t stop smiling

plays lover, you should’ve come over when he’s on tour bc it’s the closest thing he can get to a replica of how he feels for you

and when jaehyun falls asleep to the song, all he can remember is your honey voice singing it to him. he’ll just have to hold onto it before he can see you again

<3

[bajisbabe]

[author’s note] song slap hard ASF, song so good it pisses me off—🎼😡 y’all better listen to it, too

# ‘CAUSE I WANT YOU TOO

“If you say I’m on your mind, you gon’ need to spend more time to prove it.”

drunk-ex!baji comes to your home

warnings: kissing, drunk!Baji, arguing, Baji is kind of mean, cussing, Baji is 23 here, angst ig.

synopsis: Your ex, Baji, gets drunk and comes over. You try to turn him away because you’re afraid to admit that he wasn’t at fault for the breakup, but he doesn’t leave.

song: say it (mashup) by tory lanez and sevyn streeter

You hadn’t thought twice when opening the door. It was late in the night, and you just wanted to answer the door and get it over with; to stop the loud banging that just wouldn’t go away. You turn on the table lamp near the couch as you make your way into the living room. Tucking yourself into a robe, you turned the knob and opened the door, rubbing the sleep from your eyes as you asked groggily, “Who is it—?”

Long hair, yellow eyes, and bruised knuckles with a hair tie around the wrist. Your ex, Baji Keisuke.

For a split second, you wondered what you should do. But without thinking it through, you clutched the door and attempted to slam it in his face. But he shoved his foot in the door, smiling lopsidedly at you as he pressed in further. He gradually worked his way into your home with ease.

You felt a strange sense of fear in your stomach. You hadn’t seen Baji in months after your breakup. Although he argued with you when you two broke up, he hadn’t bothered to contact you since. You thought he had moved on, but here he was. Stumbling into your living room and taking a seat on the couch, his head lolling as he let out an obnoxiously loud sigh.

You watched him for what felt like an entirety, subconsciously flinching whenever he made a move. You thought to call the police, but to get your phone you would have to make your way past him. And you didn’t have the guts to try.

He took a moment to glance around your apartment, looking somewhat confused. You vaguely remember having thrown out quite a few items when the two of you split, so your place must have looked different to him now.

He slowly turned his attention to you, his expression blank as his eyes raked over your face. He mumbled something under his breath as he took a swig from the beer bottle that you hadn’t noticed before. It was practically empty, as he shook the last couple of drops from it into his mouth. Your brows furrowed, you never knew Baji to be much of a drinker. He let out a burp, smiling at you when he finally noticed that you had been watching him the entire time.

“Miss me?” He said.

You slowly shook your head, backing up a couple steps. But there was nowhere to go. You were inches away from colliding with the front door. And you didn’t even think of running, knowing that he could easily catch up with you even in a drunken state.

“Baji,” you started firmly, trying your damnedest to remain cordial. “I think you should leave.”

“Oh, you think?” He spat, turning and twisting the bottle in his hand. Watching with vague interest how the dim light catches on the glass. “That’s funny.” He lets out a crude chuckle, glaring at you.

You merely stared back at him, not sure of what to say. You two didn’t end on good terms, that’s for sure.

“Did’ja think when you broke up with me for no—fucking—reason?” He punctuates each word with a tap of the butt of his beer bottle on the armrest of your couch. “Hmm, (Y/N)?”

“Baji, please.” You frowned, crossing your arms and trying to appear unafraid. But your hands are shaking like crazy. “You should just go—”

“S’not my name.” He mumbles. He looks at you again. But this time, there is no malicious glint in his eyes. He is merely looking at you and nothing more. Not glaring, or leering. Just looking. “You know that’s not m’name.”

“Yes, it is.” You say quietly. “That is your name. And now, I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, please—”

“Just stop it.” He says. He stands slowly, noticing immediately the way your shoulders hunch and you put your hands up as though you expect him to attack. He frowns at the sight, sucking his teeth as he approaches you steadily. “You know that’s not my name. You know my name… just say it.”

His large hand comes up to cup your face, you pull away. Your fingers fidgeting as you hesitate, thinking that you should push him away. Not that he would budge even if you did.

“Please, (Y/N).” His voice is soft and low. And he’s looking at you like you’re the most precious thing in the world. You haven’t seen those eyes—and that look—in so damn long. “Please.”

“Baji, you need to leave.”

“That’s not my name and you know it.” There’s a subtle bite in his tone, but his eyes are still soft. “Now, could you please just say it?”

“Baji,” you breath, clasping your hands in a pathetic attempt not to lose your cool. “I’m asking you to leave—”

“M’not leavin’ ‘til you gimme what I want.” He reaches forward, much faster than you can comprehend. You sputter and grab hold of his wrists, trying to pull him off of you. But he doesn’t waver. His palms squeezing your cheeks, a subtle ache in your jaw at the sudden pressure. “Scratch that, I wanna kiss. Gimme a kiss.”

You try to pull back, but he merely follows you. His lips closing in on yours while you shake your head, eyes blown wide as you desperately yank his arms. “Stop it! Baji, stop it!”

You felt scared. You had never felt this way with Baji before. Somewhere, in the deepest depths of your mind, you were terrified that he would win you over yet again. That’s the last thing you wanted. You and him broke up because you became known as his girlfriend and nothing more. His personality and presence was so big that it completely swallowed yours.

You just wanted to be your own person. And he didn’t understand that then. You didn’t expect him to understand now either. So you never bothered to mention it, not even during the argument that ended your relationship.

You had left him without a spoken reason.

“S’Keisuke. Not Baji… You know that.” He says quietly, his lips a breath away from yours, your head still trapped between his calloused hands. “Kiss me. Do it now.”

“Get off of me,” you cry.

You should’ve run. You know you should’ve. You should’ve at least tried. But you didn’t. Your thoughts ran rampant, and you found that your own subconscious was ruthlessly blaming you for this situation. Thinking that you didn’t really want to break up with Baji, and that you just came up with a reason out of the blue. Baji was a good boyfriend, after all. But it was more so about how you felt like an accessory to him, rather than an equal.

He was just so important, and popular, and—just everything.

You knew it wasn’t his fault. You just needed some time to yourself to figure out who you were, and it ended up being months rather than a mere break. Now that you knew your worth, you didn’t have the guts to come back to him and tell him how you really felt. You didn’t have the guts to bring a genuine conclusion to it.

You had unknowingly hurt yourself by not voicing your opinion. And you didn’t know it yet, but you also hurt him just as much by ending your relationship without spoken reason. The more you thought about it, the sicker you felt. You just wanted him out of your home, so that you had a second to think before you made a decision you would regret.

“What’s your problem!” You shout, squirming in his grasp. “You’re drunk! Just go home!”

“Yeah?” He bites back. “Duh! And guess whose fault that is?”

You blink, your struggling momentarily halted. Whose fault…?

“S’yours, if you’re wondering.” His voice is quieter than before. His eyes are boring into yours. “I don’t drink—didn’t. Not ‘til…” He trails off, but you know what he’s getting at. And your heart shatters at the realization.

He notices your expression, it’s conflicted but he misunderstands. From his perspective, your blank stare is degrading; like you’re looking down on him. He doesn’t like that at all.

“Like you’re doing any better!” He says, eyes narrowing. “You’ve got problems too, I can see it!”

You don’t dare to speak, knowing that you might say something that’ll only make matters worse.

“You don’t think I saw that shit?” He says, glaring at you. He tugs you just a little closer and you feel your resolve crack some in return. “The way you flinched—like I was gonna hurt you or something. I wouldn’t do that, you know that!”

“Just stop it!” You rasp, your hands clutching his.

God, you don’t want to blurt out the real reason behind your breakup. After hearing the shit he’s put himself through, you don’t have the guts to tell him that it was nothing he did that caused the breakup.

Tears are brimming in your eyes as you stare back at his frowning face. “Stop it, Kei—”

There’s a moment of silence. So silent that your ears ring. He is no longer looking at you with that hard expression. His eyes are wide, brows raised, lips down-turned almost in a pout but not quite. “Kei?” He repeats quietly under his breath, eyes lingering on your face. He can feel your skin warm under his touch. And the brief sound of your name on his tongue has his heart beating hard. “Go on… Say it.”

“Don’t wanna,” your lips tug down, the backs of your eyes burning. You were gonna cry.

“Say it,” he releases his grip on your face. His hand comes up to wrap around the back of your neck, his thumb rubbing over your skin. He can even feel your pulse thrumming beneath the flesh. “Say it, and I’ll go… Promise.”

You don’t believe him and rightfully so. You shouldn’t believe him. And even still, you find his name rolling off your tongue. You think at the very least, you can give him that. After your breakup caused him so much hurt, and you still hadn’t given him a good reason.

“Again,” he whispers. His eyes never leave yours. “Say it again.”

“I can’t—”

“You can.” He presses, his grip tightening. You can feel him pulling you in; pulling you closer.

“Please, Baji—”

“You know my name.” He says, his voice lacking the strength from before. “S’only been a couple of months, you couldn’t have forgotten already.”

You see the sad look in his eyes and you break. Repeating his name just like he asked of you. And you don’t even get a chance to tell him the real reason behind your breakup as he places a chaste kiss on your lips.

Just one, then two, then three. Each longer than the last. And his grip is so strong that you couldn’t pull away even if you wanted to. But you don’t want to, and he knows it.

He pulls away slowly, his eyes racking over your face again. He looks at you like he’s afraid he’ll forget what you look like. Or that if he looks away, you’ll disappear.

And he knows he’s being selfish by asking you again and again. But he can’t stop himself, having not heard your voice in months. His teeth biting at his lower lip as he runs his tongue over the flesh, trying to remember your taste.

“Can you…” he pauses, knowing damn well that he’s being selfish and stringing you back in. He knows he’s gonna win you over. He just knows it because he knows you. And he just can’t bring himself to stop. “Can you say it...just one more time?”