#i really hope the reason they changed made sense here lol

[jazeswhbhaven]

I just want sth fluff right now... How about a week with the kings (plus Lucifer) turn into a smol boiiii (still chosen between their mind still normal or a completely child).

Hehe wonder if the whole kingdom would turn upside down because of the mother side of MC :3 (like they're a really good mother/caretaker/...)

(ok I'm sorry for the grammar, english is not my first language 🥹🥹)

Thank you for waiting anon, and don't worry I understood what you meant!

MC being a caretaker for our kings when they suddenly get turned into toddler versions of themselves is so much fun to think about honestly. They were probably all just little menaces'~

Lead in: Uh oh, a strange spell has come across Hell! For a week in springtime, it seems that a certain tree has spread pollen and affected only certain devils, that being the kings...and now they're? young devils? They have physically regressed in age to that of a small child (each king looking different based on the amount of pollen they inhaled). Let's see how MC will fare having to be a caretaker for them!

Satan: He's so mischievous, getting into everything and breaking things. And who knew a devil this age would still be teething with all of his teeth in?! There's bite marks in the furniture, the curtains, just about everything. He's also got a mouth on him, and plays pranks often. Sitri is being driven mad, and Ppyong has been chewed on like a toy far too much. Here comes MC to the rescue! They can't really discipline him that well, but they are firm by wrapping him up in a thick blanket burrito so he can move. He's a bit feisty and likes to test MC, but that's nothing for them. Though they had to be careful when feeding him or he's liable to take off their fingers in the process. The entire week goes well, and thankfully MC doesn't have to change any diapers. But...Satan purposely doesn't aim for the toilet so the walls are uh...quite filthy. Good thing this was only for a week and Gehenna is back to somewhat of normalcy.

Mammon: Thankfully, when he was turned into a small devil again he didn't inhale too much of the pollen resembling a 10 year old boy. As a child, Mammon was sick a lot and had to be monitored. He was just as curious and still didn't have that filter. So for the most part he was self sufficient. MC still needed to be there for him just to make sure he doesn't get himself hurt. And now that he's got MC to care for him, he gets in his feelings, still remembering everything that happened to him before...he clings to MC, often cuddling and being silent. Sometimes even crying. MC getting to see him this emotional more often is a nice change of pace as he seems to just bury his emotions more often as an adult. MC even sings to him, reads to him, and lets him sleep in the same bed with a few stuffed toys. When the week is over, he's back to himself but there's something slightly different about him now. It seems that maybe, his inner child has healed just a little.

Beelzebub: For whatever reason, he's a toddler, and just as rambunctious and destructive. His powers are still quite strong, and are out of control. Bael thought he couldn't get work done then? He certain can't now. Paperwork drawn on with crayon, puddles of acid spit, random half eaten piles of food...and hide and seek seems to be his favorite game that turns into a disaster when he's hiding in one of the many ADULT clubs in Aybssos. It's up to MC to help rangle in this small devil and fast. They prepare pre-made snacks of his favorite foods, the games that MC comes up with are good enough for his short attention span and fun enough to repeat multiple times of the day, a large room where he can color on the walls and crawl on them even, and well he can even use the targets added in for practice with aiming his acidic spit. It's a full time job looking after Beel, but MC has it done. It was also the most difficult week for everyone at the palace. Worst part is...Beel doesn't remember anything once he's back to normal.

Leviathan: You'd assume that looking over a small Levi would be easy. Um, it's not. Him being back at that age that he was brings back horrible memories of when he was in Heaven in the devil camps. He's lashing out on all the citizens of Hades, even his nobles, paranoia, nightmares, not wanting to come out of his coffin nor eat. It's a mess. MC has a lot of work cut out for them, but they go into this with grace and patience. Levi doesn't trust them, and MC has the bruises and scratches to prove it. But slowly through the week, he starts to calm down, though still independent. The only other noble MC has to worry about is Orias who has been trying to take advantage of this situation. But it seems that Levi's innocence deters him (and MC protecting Levi) The last half of the week, Levi is now sleeping with MC inside the coffin so his nightmares aren't as bad. He's even played a couple games with them, and held their hand just out of nowhere. When he's back to normal, he doesn't admit to anything that happened with MC while they were there, denying pretty much everything. But he's closer to MC now after the event. At least Hades is back in working order!

Lucifer: SMALL ANGEL LUCI??? When MC had the prevleige of seeing him this way, he's very much adorable. His wings have temporarily returned, but they're tiny, just itty bitty. His hair is fluffy, eyes wide and full of wonder, and his halo is so bright and cheery. This a different side of Luci that must have died over time being in Heaven. But during this time he's very quiet, likes to cling on MC, and his nobles, riding on their backs and asking for snacks and angel milk. Gamigin helps MC the most, the jingling of his staff actually being soothing to small angel Luci. Paradise Lost though for the entire week was just as it was before. Mostly peaceful, nothing important going on other than this. The week turns out to be pretty easy for MC in watching him. When he's back to normal, he kindly asks MC to never mention what they saw to anyone. His nobles also will die with this secret. MC feels important, knowing that even Luci's own brothers have never seen him that young.

Belphegor: Huh...well it seems the pollen has turned Belphie into a baby. And even when he's sleeping, he causes alot of problems for Nifelheim. His little baby snores causes earthquakes, he also soils his diaper during his sleep even though he's only been drinking milk....those diaper changes are near radioactive. When he wakes up and cries to be fed it's like a high pitched ear splitting cry. At least the best part is when he's asleep, in a deep deep sleep? No thing happens. And thankfully, he was asleep for the majority of the week. There was only once where MC had to deal with him awake and he was cranky the entire time. Non-stop crying, hair pulling, and demanding that Beleth holds him as he was biting his arm with his gums to teeth. Beleth did well, he and MC acting like a married couple while watching him. The week may have been over and done and he was back to normal, but goodness. Maybe it's a good thing he was sleeping for majority of his life until recently. Him being awake as a young devil is a pain.

Asmodeus: It's rumored that no one has seen Asmo as a young devil. Well that changed when MC got to watch him. He's...a lot less horny as a small devil which is a relief. He was still mischievous, and often hinted wanting milk from MC even though they had no ability to breastfeed/produce milk. But it was strange that he would ask that when he's...a young child devil. Oh, well maybe he was starting his puberty early. But it's no matter, his charming abilities were still working all to well meaning that MC spoiled him with pretty much attention and affection. He was still very behaved and would often be reading or writing something in a journal. MC partially wishes he could be like this all the time and wondered where all that horny energy came from even as the embodiment of lust. Maybe he'd tell her later when he was back to normal. Abaddon didn't change much at all in his absence, the guards holding things down as per usual.

[ivysprophecy]

I'll Be Damned

an: ummm @kimoralov3 gave me a request and we both decided i needed to write it immediately. sorry if its a little whorish LOL. the actual request is from a tumblr post TAGGED HERE AND I WILL TAG THE CREATOR @wttcsms i wanna make sure credit is given where its due. also i got SO CARRIED AWAY the longest thing ive ever written LOL and i started this so long ago i think the original post got deleted, whoops.

warnings: talks about conservative/strict/religious upbringing, purity rings, mentions of weed, loss of virginity, protected sex, mentions of not being on contraceptives, religious talk, mdni 18+, oral fem!recieving

word count: 4373

you were no saint, that much was certain. god knows if your parents knew you were alone in a boys room with said boy theyd have your head on a stick.

especially if they knew that boy was jj maybank.

your parents werent bad people by any means, they knew not to judge someone based on things out of their control. but in their defense jj had made some questionable choices.

but that was part of his appeal. his charm was his impulsivity, his wit, his knack for excitement.

how he'd decided youd be good friends you have no idea but you couldnt be happier that he had.

or else you wouldnt be sitting in his bed at the chateau with him as he smoked a joint and watched whatever sit com you were currently binging together.

"can I ask you something?" he blurted out of nowhere, his eyes still trained on the small television screen.

your head whipped in his direction at his cautious tone, "shoot," you said curiously. why did he sound so worried?

had you done something wrong?

"whats that ring? on your pinky finger..." he motions with a nod of his head down to your hand that was sitting in your lap, "i know you said its a family thing. does it have a meaning or something?"

oh boy. i hate this talk.

"its uh... its a purity ring... my dad gave it to me at my confirmation last year," he almost choked on his own spit.

"a- a purity ring? i know you said you were religious but damn- i thought those were some kind of fallacy..."

"im so proud of you! you just used 'fallacy' correctly in a sentence!" you said with an exaggerated sense of excitement hoping to change the subject.

you hated being judged for your ring. you saw the looks from boys when they saw it, if they knew what it was. girls teasing you for being a prude.

when in reality it wasnt much of a choice. rationally, you know having sex wouldnt send you into the fiery pits of hell. rationally, you knew that in your faith, heaven was created for sinners who had earned forgiveness and preached love and prosperity and worshipped God. but irrationally... what if your parents were right? your faith was important to you, a key part of how you were raised. you didnt want to become a disappoint by giving into temptation.

but late at night when a certain blond snuck into your thoughts... you wanted to give in. badly.

"i wasnt judging you, i was just a lil shocked alright? i didnt know you were that serious about all that," hed held up his hands in defense trying to calm your nerves on the sensitive subject.

"honestly?" you turn to face him with a shameful look on your face, a pink hue covering your cheeks perfectly, "sometimes i dont think i am. or- that my values and beliefs dont really line up like that."

"what do you mean?"

"just that. i dont think purity matters THAT much ya know? and forgiveness is there for a reason. that having sex doesnt mean im not a good person. right?"

jj chuckled lowly, "mama if that were true id be considered down right satanic."

you couldnt hide your laughter after his comment either. hes just so infectious. clearly with the way thoughts of him had been invading your mind lately.

"its not just that- then the insecurity comes along with it, even if i changed my mind everyone already knows about it. no guy would ever wanna sleep with me. unless its some kind of weird kink thing and i dont think my religion should be fetishized-"

"are you kidding me?"

"um... no? im not really comfortable with that-"

"no- mama-" jj shook his head in his hands, "there are plenty of guys that would wanna sleep with you. not just for some creepy kink."

"name one," you said seriously. because seriously, who the fuck would wanna sleep with you? not a single person has ever shown real interest in you ever-

"me."

shut the fuck up. he said that so confidently?! hello?!

your eyes widen with shock, "p-pardon?!"

"i didnt stutter right? i said pretty clearly that i want to have sex with you-" you clamped a hand over jj's mouth instinctively. praying that john b hadnt heard his friends loud proclamation across the hall.

"i heard you the first time!" you whispered, your tone stern.

jjs eyes gestured to the hand on his mouth as if to say 'move please so i can speak'. part of you didnt want to move your hand, partially because of what he might say, and the other because touching him kinda felt nice. in anyway you could.

haphazardly, you decide to remove your hand from his face, your face still showing your disbelief.

"why are you so confused? you asked a question and i answered it-"

"because i- well i didnt expect that from you. and i dont need a pitty fuck if thats what youre trying to say because thats even more pathetic."

"okay none of that- no maam," jj interrupts me shaking his head, "im not gonna listen to you talk about yourself like youre completely undesirable. because thats so fucking unbelievable."

his face, on rare occasion, is utterly serious. oh my dear god he really did wanna sleep with me...

lord if this is a test i want to assure you this not a battle you wanna give me. im not your strongest soldier because i will fold faster than a lawn chair.

"youre serious??"

"do i look like im jokin? do i have a mic in my hands? is there an audiance i dont see? cause im not a fucking comedian. im being for real."

what are you supposed to do now? like actually? do you kiss him? no one prepared you for what to do in this situation.

"okay listen- you look pretty freaked out. im not saying we have to or anything im just saying... ive thought about it ya know? youre gorgeous and were close so i just thought maybe youve thought about it too."

well here goes nothing, "i have. thought about it i mean. a lot."

"oh really?" that made jjs brows quirk up and a smirk plaster across his face. he always has to be so smug, "is that so?"

"dont do that!"

"do what?" he questioned.

your cheeks flush in embarrassment, "make me feel like this is so easy. because it isnt."

"but it could be," jj pauses the tv before looking directly in your eyes, meaning business, "you just said that this is what you want right? im right here offering it to you so whats stopping you?"

you took a deep, shaky breath at his words. you really didnt wanna sound like a crazy person but being scared of sex was normal right? especially with your best friend of all people.

there were so many reasons not to do this.

"honestly? im scared. scared of what that would mean for us, scared of actually doing this. scared of... a lot of things. im a chicken. a big fat crazy chicken."

he couldnt help but laugh at your words. thinking 'what the fuck is she on?'

and part of him knew hed have to talk you off the ledge if you were gonna do this, but hes willing to work for it. work for you.

"mama listen to me. we can be whatever the hell you want us to be, youre my girl whether we're just friends or my head is between your legs. and as for the other part- id never ever hurt you m'kay? if you wanna do this i promise id go as slow as you want. you set the pace, ill be gentle. but im not trynna make you do this."

oh my god jj maybank just gave you 'the speech'.

and youre sitting here with all of your clothes still on.

"and lets say i do... wanna do this... you really want this? like this isnt out of pity or curiosity or anything?"

"maybe im not making myself clear. y/n. i wanna have any and every part of you that you'll let me."

holy shit okay... yeah okay. this is really happening.

you try to scramble for the words caught in your throat, "okay.. h-how do i do this? what if i do it bad?"

"youre not gonna 'do it bad'," he chuckles through his words, one of his hands sliding onto your thigh, "look ill guide you through it okay? we'll go slow... i promise."

"that sounds...nice."

"i sure hope so," he chuckled softly, "otherwise we wouldnt be doing it... and if you wanna stop just tell me okay?

all you could was nod and watch as he moved so he was hovering over you and you were laid flat against his bed.

"i need to hear you say it mama..." his face was so close to yours you could barely muddle up a whisper in response giving him a small 'yes' before finally feeling his lips press into yours.

it wasnt anything like you thought it would be. it was... gentle, sweet, tender in the most romantic way.

but you could tell he was holding back...

your hands found the nape of his neck and quickly pulled him closer, needing more of him. wanting him to show you what its really like, not some pussy foot version.

his lips travelled further down to your jaw... to your neck... to your collar bone...

"can i take this off?" there was a small tug at the hem of your shirt, his eyes pleading with you, begging even.

you sat up almost immediately, helping him pull it over your head, and just like that his eyes were glued to your chest.

the pink on your cheeks intensified to a red at the sight, at first you were thinking of the worst case scenario. that hed changed his mind, the they didnt look right, that you werent as appealing as hed assured you.

his hands instinctively reached out but he stopped himself, unsure if he was moving too fast, doing too much.

"gorgeous..." his eyes were wide with excitement, raw and unfiltered. the inside of his mouth salivating at the sight of your braless body. "can i touch you? please god- ill pray if it means i can."

the laugh that escaped you was just as unashamed as his pleas, "yea. yea jay you can touch me," you wanted laugh more. aware that hes being considerate of your feelings but it was almost stupid how badly you wanted this.

he quickly pulled his shirt over his head before diving back in to kiss you, his hands gently kneading at your breasts. you were a bit disappointed you didnt get to ogle at him like he had you, but youd seen him without a shirt enough times at the beach to satisfy curiosity.

"jj-"

his head whipped up so fast from trailing gently little kisses across the swell of your breasts, a worried expression crossing his face. "you okay baby? need me to stop?"

"no- no i just... you can keep going. i need more. i need you..." your breathing was heavy as were your eyes.

"you sure? im just trynna go slow and make sure youre okay. wanna take care of ya."

"im okay jj... i promise. this is what i want," you meant what you said too. there isnt anyone else youd want to do this with.

he gave me a look, once more chance to back out, before letting a deep rooted sigh out. sounded more like relief than anything.

his fingers hooked into the belt loops of your shorts giving them a firm pull, "these need to go. now."

and he didnt have to tell you twice, within seconds they were unbuttoned and being pulled past your knees and being thrown across the room with abandon.

the giggle that escaped your throat was involuntary as jj pulled you buy your ankles further down the bed so the back of your knees were hanging off the edge of the bed.

"jj! what are you doing??"

"m gonna eat, fucking starving. now spread your legs f’me. wanna see that pretty pink pussy," jj knelt to the ground, threw my legs over his shoulders with urgency, looking down and admiring the view before him. “you’re so fucking perfect…”

you didn’t think someone just talking to you could elicit a moan from you, however jj was always there to challenge you. like right now.

he was peppering small kisses down the inside of your thighs, along the curves of your hips, avoiding where you need him most trying to make you feel appreciated.

he’s doing a good job too.

his thumb gently glides over your sensitive clit with a featherlight touch making me shake with need, the other hand holding your hips against the mattress as you feel his lips finally capture your core and his tongue starts lapping at the bundle of nerves.

your hand flies to his hair gripping it tightly between your fingers eliciting a groan that vibrates through you as his tongue continues to skillfully pull every sound from you and send shocks through your body

theres a feeling of something toying with your entrance delicately, looking down to see him staring up at you with a needy, hungry look in his eyes. you gasp at the feeling, your eyes widening with a nervousness and desperation.

"'s just my finger baby, relax. it wont hurt i promise," he tried to reassure you gently as you nodded.

"feels good... keep going. please."

"yes maam," he smirks up at you before diving back into your slick folds, simultaneously ever-so gently pushing his finger into you beneath his chin.

was it normal to feel so full from just a finger?

holy shit what is it gonna feel like when hes actually inside you??

you tried your best not to think about it to avoid psyching yourself out and just trying to enjoy the feeling. your walls flutter around him and he can feel how close you are already with his finger pumping in and out of you painfully slow as he curls it inside of you.

his face his practically dripping with you when he looks back up at you, "hows it feel mama? talk to me."

your face is scrunched in pleasure as you shake your head quickly, your hands back to gripping the cotton sheets beneath you, "cant," you answer bluntly, out of breath as his finger works your mercilessly. it was the honest truth, the feeling making it hard to think straight, or at all really.

"oh cmon now i believe in you. tell me how good it feels... think you can handle another? youre so close gorgeous, let me help you get there..."

you practically squeal as he presses the second digit into you, the stretch a delicious sting that borders on uncomfortable. but the slickness greatly helps with the discomfort easing it almost instantly as jj keeps his pace consistent, your hips bucking off of the bed as you come apart on his fingers, your juices dripping onto his palm.

"holy shit mama that was so fucking hot... youre so tight," he presses small gentle kisses down your thighs as he talks you through your first orgasm. his forehead resting on your hip as he gathers himself.

it feels like the lack of oxygen has made you dizzy and oddly relaxed from feeling so breathless.

jj maybank just made you come.

jj maybank just gave you your first orgasm.

oh lord am i gonna have to ask for your forgiveness until the day i die. i might die right here right now.

"pretty mama i need you to say something... kinda scaring me," you lift your head off of the pillows to look down where he lays on you, his fingers lightly tracing patterns across your stomach.

"sorry," you run a hand over your face taking a deep breath, "just kind of... i dont know. calming down."

god even his laugh made you quiver.

"we can take a break if you need it- do you want me to grab you a water or someth-" you quickly shut him up by leaning down to kiss him

"i wanna keep going.. jj that was... eye rolling, moan eliciting, mind boggling-ly good. im okay i promise."

"youre killing me here baby-" he looked up at you as his hands roamed your body slowly and aimlessly. feeling comfortable in such a vulnerable state with her. "are you sure?"

you lean to the side diving into the drawer next to his bed where you figured hed have a condom lying around, you guessed correctly.

"stop asking me that, i know youre trying to be sweet but i already told you i want this. im not changing my mind. im not on birth control for obvious reason but-"

a groan from his lips interrupts you, the sound more like a struggled, suppressed moan. his head falling into the crook of your neck. looks like someone has a breeding kink. shouldve guessed it by that nickname.

"ill do whatever you want mama but youre literally naked holding my condom in your hand. im losing self control quickly."

you giggled softly, "youre okay with just the condom?"

"im okay with or without it. god, ill be perfect as long as im inside you."

it was your turn to moan this time as he takes the foil from you, ripping it open between his stupidly cute canine teeth, grinning from ear to ear as he rolls it on almost effortlessly.

watching him you realize it was the first time you could really drink in the sight of him... and how big he was.

"jj- i dont think-" you go to protest before he kisses you softly. so fucking soft for you in every way except for one.

"we'll make it fit," thats the only thing he says before he positions his body to loom over you, your hips meeting each other. his eyes light up and he reaches behind you grabbing an extra pillow. "lift your hips for me baby... good girl."

he adjusts the pillow under your hips comfortably, his hands gripping your hips to lower you then running down your legs to wrap them around his hips.

"i read somewhere that makes it better- for you. i dont know im not a chick. does it feel okay? are you okay?"

you could melt from his words, jj wasnt always great with telling people how he felt but he does one better. he shows them, shows you. always thinking of you and your wellbeing.

"its perfect jay, thank you," you smile up softly at him, "youre perfect."

the blond blushed at your words, placing one hand next to your head so he leans over you to whisper in your ear, probably to also hide how flustered that made him.

"ill go slow i promise... its gonna hurt a little but ill stop when you need me to. and if you wanna stop all together thats okay. youre in control baby. 'm at your mercy."

your hand reaches for stability, finding it tugging at the roots of his blond mop as his hand reaches between the both of you to align him at your entrance. the folds still slick from just moments ago.

hes pressing soft wet kisses to your neck, moving his hips forward just the smallest bit so his tip barely pierces your hole. you suck in sharply as you feel him, feel the pressure, the sting.

your gasp must have scared him, he lifts himself from you to look down at you with concern.

"you okay mama?"

all you can do is nod in response trying to keep your breathing steady. frankly, you didnt think youd be this tight. obviously hes not the size of your ultra big tampons but still. you were a bit naive.

"just let me know if you need me to stop... but you gotta relax or it wont fit. trust me, ill go easy on you but you gotta breathe babe. let yourself relax... im right here."

you nodded again, maybe it was lame but you were so focused on how he felt against you, you could barely speak.

taking another deep breathe you urge his hips forward with your ankles wrapped around them, and the sting intensifies as his tip finally goes inside of you, and you were already clenching around him.

hard enough that his arms wobbled for a slight second.

"shit mama, youre so fucking tight," he sighs in ecstasy, "jesus- stop clenching around me or ill blow like a two pump chump."

that got a chuckle out of you, even though he was completely serious. the sting goes away slowly, and you press kisses down his neck to calm yourself. you wanted your lips on every inch of his body.

"keep going," you begged, your voice abnormally high and breathy.

"there you go baby, made it through the hardest part. see? its not so bad... im right here baby."

he moves his hips forward again, and you felt another inch push into you. god how did you already feel so full?

and then another inch. and another.

how fucking big is he?

"jesus jj- so full... 's too much-" you whine, your hands clinging onto his shoulders, your polished nails pressing into his skin.

"need me to stop?"

you thought for a moment before shaking your head, "no.. need more. feels so good."

and with that he pushed himself all the way to hilt, fully pressed inside your sopping wet cunt. you moan loudly, forgetting john b is just down the hall in the living room.

jj presses his lips to yours, capturing them so your tongues meet in the middle, making every thought poof from your head. youve dreamed of this moment so many times and you know youre lucky that the first time feels just as good as the fantasy, if not better.

"move, jay i need you to move... please for the love god move your hips."

he moaned into your ear before pulling back and push back into you, again and again, setting a steady pace that was safe for the both of you. safe for you because he didnt want to hurt you, and safe for him because he didnt want to come in the next two minutes.

with your head thrown back on the bed, jj begins pressing kisses across your jaw, down your neck, focusing on the sweet spots he found before. making his way down to your collar bone, your chest rising and falling drastically as he continues to pump in and out of your swollen pussy.

and finally he makes it to your breasts, beautiful and full and ready for some attention, hips lips latch around one nipple while his free hand rolls the other between his fingers teasingly.

"so fucking perfect, so fucking mine," he grumbled against your chest before switching places. he pulls off of you with a pop, a sudden idea popping into his head.

his hips fastening their pace as he looks down at the ring on your finger, before taking your hand in his, and pulling that purity ring off.

your eyes widen as you watch him carefully, watching to see what he will do as he inspects it. or at least trying to as his hips slam into yours.

he takes his necklace off, and hooking the ring onto the string before tying it back onto his neck and leaning forward back the way he was. hovering over you, and now your purity ring, thats no longer needed, dangles in front of you like a taunt.

"dont need that," he whispers in your ear quickening his pace as he feels you clenching around him, so fucking wet for him you can hear the pornographic sounds of wet skin slapping against each other. only adding fuel to your fire, "wear it so everyone knows who you fucking belong to. youre mine, y/n. say it."

oh god.

"yours," you can barely speak without moaning, "yours jay."

he slips a hand between you, his thumb working your clit perfectly as he pounds into you pushing you to the edge of another orgasm.

"yea. youre mine? coming around my cock baby, youre squeezin me to death, you gonna cover me in your cum? yea?"

you squeal at the feeling, his words, everything, this is so perfectly overwhelming. you moan, almost scream, coming again just like he said.

and hes not far behind you, driving into you before you feel him twitch inside of you, spilling into the condom shuddering around you, trying not to collapse on you.

"holy-"

"shit," you chuckle finishing his though as another ripple passes through his muscles, he pulls out and you instantly feel empty, squeezing to find something that isnt there anymore.

he lays next to you with a very satisfied smile on his face.

more like a smirk really.

"ill be damned," you smile deliriously, turning to look at him, "jj that was... i couldnt have had a better first experience. seriously..."

"glad you enjoyed it mama," he wraps an arm around you pulling him into a chest as he starts to breathe normally, his heartbeat still racing though. "you okay?"

"im perfect jay... i loved it."

"well id be happy to be of service whenever youd like-" he teases.

you slap at his chest playfully, moving to wrap a leg around his before realizing how sore you were. and soaked. he sits up almost immediately seeing your hesitation.

"let me get something to clean you up..." he grabs his boxers pulling them back on to grab a warm wet cloth from the bathroom, crouching to clean you carefully and gently.

girls at school werent lying, aftercare was arguably the best part.

he treated you with such care and so much love that it didnt matter whatever anxiety you carried from what just transpired, you were happy you did it. even if it was with your best friend.

[lenny-link]

In regards to the SU x TF2 AU:

I have been racking my brain over here trying to understand the decision to make RED Spy a ruby and BLU Spy a sapphire. Nothing about his portrayal seemed to line up with canon depictions of rubies or sapphires, and RED Spy's gem isn't even faceted like a ruby. Also the obvious joke of making him a Bixbite, like the corrupted gem who was a giant crab, seemed obvious. Then it dawned on me.

He's a color-change sapphire, isn't he? That's why his RED version has a sapphire cut despite supposedly being a ruby? And also potentially why he's the only one we've seen RED and BLU variations of (though I get the impression that's also so one can be paired with Scout's Ma and the other with Engie) when all the others have been RED(-ish) isn't it? Or am I completely off base with this theory?

i LOVE your theory i wish you shared your thoughts before i elaborated the ‘lore’ of the au

but since ive had lots of questions about details id like to mention that:

1. i originally had not planned to make any story behind the su au, so if there’s things that dont make sense, don’t align with canon and stuff, it was not planned soo im working with what i have :p

2. i was hoping no one notices the mistake i made of swapping the gems ruby/sapphire lol its because at first i had drawn Blu(sapphire) Spy in that page, but i thought it was confusing since there was RedSpy x Scout’sMa and Scout next to him, so i just changed the colors and i didnt change the gem bc i was lazy :P

3. the main reason i put both Blu/Red Spy was to create fusion, i thought to add an extra merc with a blu color would be cool for the fusions that isnt from ClassicTeam, and idk i couldn’t think of a better merc to have as a pair than Spy and i thought there is more potential with 2 Spies to work on a story than any other merc idk

(yes i didnt put garnet as the fusion so as not to make confusion with Demoman being a Garnet, and we don’t have an Amethyst anyways so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ )

4. it is IMPOSSIBLE to align each TF2 character with a SU character, there’s nothing in common between the two medias whatsoever, so the dynamics that im gonna be making for the TF2 au are gonna be a bit mixed, for example: RedSpy and BluSpy having Ruby/Sapphire’s dynamic (kinda), but also they have the same dynamic as Rose/Pearl, for the part where Red would go with a human (Scout’s Ma) and Blu would be jealous (just like pearl), HeavyMedic also would be having Ruby/Sapphire dynamic (the part where they fuse for the first time just like Ruby/Sapphire in the show, im still working on comic about this btw)

5. also im mixing with well TF2 canon story + trying really to make an original story too, soo its a whole mess ik :p im trying just bear with me ^^"

but thank you for pointing that out, it makes me happy knowing people actually pay attention to details thats super fun! ill make sure to not miss any details next time! :D

[vaguely-concerned]

I think there is no better illustration of the more intimate, internal angle veilguard chooses to approach its characters and themes with than the fact that like... listen in this game we get to follow so much pain back to its source, and we find it really does permeate everything in thedas today on a level that evokes a kind of cosmic horror. the bones of the earth itself are broken open and drenched in trauma; the world is mired in suffering down to the core and the marrow. as above, so below. as outside, so inside. on the big scale, and the small. all of creation is a throat gone to bloody shreds from screaming in agony, when you allow yourself to listen. (maybe that's why we usually don't, or can't, bring ourselves to listen.)

...and yet the thing that makes me personally so desperately gnaw-my-own-arm-off sad that it feels like I could die from it is that in a run where you save minrathous, lucanis never gets out from the ossuary in his mind. what's worse, no one even knows he's in there. he's still in there. and there is no rescue on the way, because he's locked down so deep inside himself this time that there's no way for anyone to even understand there's a need for it. would he be able to welcome one, if someone did realize it and tried to reach him? You know him -- you can open the door, but he won't walk through. He won't move. There's nowhere to go. the way he says 'it doesn't matter what I want' with such utter, leaden, final resignation in the wrecked treviso cutscene is going to haunt me forever. it makes perfect sense to me you can't romance him after that, I'm not sure he's ever really here completely in that version of events, at least within the timeline the game takes place. he's just standing in the shitty awful ossuary torture room all alone, and no one's coming to find him.

and what is that, next to the millennia of suffering screaming through all of history and creation? well. nothing, of course, not really. a single plucked string in an endless deafening symphony of despair. one singular trapped and broken soul among the untold millions that have gone before and the untold more that will surely come after, that are being made as we speak in the conflicts and tragedies unfolding through the game. but more importantly it's also everything. to me. and to the game too. the game says this also matters. just as much as anything else, this pain matters and deserves to be loved and comforted. even in the face of all the suffering in the world, beneath the systems perpetuating all the banalities of evil, for good or for ill sometimes, we matter to each other. and what would be the point of anything, if we didn't? that's where hope lives. as long as you're alive, the right key might still arrive to gently open the locks of your mind, the right hand might reach out one day and you will bring yourself to take it. you don't know what tomorrow's going to be. if in the meantime the only thing we have to gain in staying is each other -- isn't that enough? isn't that everything? why does this one guy saved mean the world saved to me, a little bit? hello. hello. hello. there's stuff going on in the deep here.

when I say that the deep thematic spine of this game is so good and solid that the occasional clumsiness and false tones of the writing on top of it simply cannot hurt me... I think this is part of what I mean. works for every single one of the characters of course! lucanis' is the predicament that speaks to me most viscerally. for. uh. personal reasons there simply is no time to get into at this juncture lol. but just as much the idea that davrin can die before he could see the world freed from the blight and the need for wardens, or that harding can get cut down right at the beginning of a great revelation that could change everything and heal things no one had even dreamed could be healed. all of them are like this. each and every one of us has a world and so many stories inside that matter, and it's not to dismiss the larger systemic forces and evils that create so much of the suffering in the world to focus in on that for one installment of the series -- only to view it from a different angle that brings other things to light than what we're looking for normally in this series. it's worth looking at what's actually here.

(have you ever heard the poem 'good light' by andrea gibson? it's very good. you should check it out if you haven't, you can find it on youtube. it has these lines:

Come make it count Our finding each other like we found God Come root for the salt Come believing we can heal it all, even everything Even everything that has ever been done I know how much the pain of this world weighs But I can still tip the scales in light's direction Whenever I have your name on my tongue

and yeah. I think that's basically what I'm trying to say here.)

[farshootergotme]

Now that I have the confidence to send you asks, fully expect me to bug you periodically from here on out

Anyways- do you think Dick qualifies as a scapegoat? Cause I 100% think he's a scapegoat. People always try to shove the 'golden child' role onto Dick, and it always confused me cause like. He doesn't fit it at all if you actually look into what a golden child is.

Dick is definitely one of the scapegoats of the batfamily (Jason being the other) and it makes me sad that people always label him a golden child when he's the exact opposite. Seriously- he's hit, beaten, unfairly blamed, lashed out at, not told about important things (Jason or being replaced, Jason dying, Jason's funeral, probably other things, i wouldn't be surprised), etc. Definition of a scapegoat to me.

It's also why I hesitate to label him the 'favorite' even when the comics try to say otherwise. Mostly because... favorite children aren't really treated this way. Favorite weapon, maybe, as I've said in a post I've made before, but that's it. Bruce wouldn't kill for him or any of his kids. He's come close, yeah, but he's also come close to killing the Joker too after Jason's death and had to be threatened into not doing it. Every time, it's in a strong surge of emotion, and the second Bruce thinks rationally- well, he doesn't do it. Dick isn't at all unique, Bruce wouldn't kill for him either.

I think Bruce is the most proud of Dick, and has a unique relationship with him due to knowing him the longest and the parentification, but I don't think that makes him the favorite. Maybe to the other batkids, but probably not in reality.

I don't think Bruce really HAS a favorite- Dick is probably the closest to it, but still.

Though, if you wanna play around with angst and fanon ideas, maybe both Dick and Jason are the favorites and that's why Bruce treats them the worst? Dunno, it'd make a fun fic, even if it's not really grounded in canon (though I ignore RHATO and Comic UTRH).

Idk. Just,, gestures. Dick is a scapegoat to me.

Hope my 2 am rambling made sense lol

Okay, I see you, but I'll argue:

Dick Grayson is both the scapegoat and the golden child.

Now, you might not believe this since he doesn't tend to be both at the same time, and it isn't common for these roles to exist within the same individual. But Dick Grayson is praised and favored as much as he's blamed and pushed.

A golden child is the one who carries most of the expectations in the family. The parent expects them to be perfect, make no mistakes, take on roles they're pushed into with no issue (thus parentification can happen), and continue on and on to be good enough and meet the criteria so they don't make the parent disappointed.

The love is conditional hence they develop this unhealthy perfectionism and self-esteem and self-worth issues that will follow them till adulthood even when they're out of that environment and living their own lives.

The reason why a parent might choose a specific child (or children) to be the favored one is because they tend to see this child as an extension of themselves. And consequential to this, they will project their insecurities onto said child and force them to improve—be the best—where they fall short. All of their capabilities are overvalued, making the parent see them as special and much better than the rest, causing the unrealistic expectations a child must hold and fulfill so as not to “fail” their parent(s).

Although this child might seem like the favorite and who could do no wrong on the outside, the love they receive isn't something they can take for granted.

When a golden child underperforms or isn't as good as they're expected, the parent’s demeanor might change. They will feel the disappointment and fear this might cause the treatment they get to change. Sometimes the child might even fear abandonment or rejection from their parent as a result of their failures.

The mix of all this turns into a person who's over-competent, hard-working and someone that tends to take charge of things so they aren't at risk of failing, making them ‘natural’ leaders in any group they might be part of.

Sounding familiar yet?

Now, let's move on to the scapegoat:

A scapegoat child is the one that is blamed by all the things that go wrong in the family. They are constantly criticized and shamed by things they might've not even been part of, but somehow they're now involved and taking all the blame for the others so there are no consequences for anyone but them.

(All the blame also messes with their perception of certain events, making them prone to self-blame for the problems that occur in the family or their behaviors towards them.)

The scapegoating in the family may be due to subconscious projection from the parent when they're dealing with difficult emotions such as shame, guilt, rage, etc. They feel threatened by their own feelings and therefore they will try to escape from them by externalizing those feelings and making them their scapegoat’s problem.

Because of this treatment, the scapegoat might become an outsider in the family, feeling excluded and isolated from the rest. And for this, when push comes to shove and they're going through a rough patch, they will not have any reliable support they can go to inside the family as they'll be ignored or otherwise unfairly treated, having their feelings be invalidated.

Like the golden child, there's some aspects the scapegoat shares with the former:

Being treated differently by the parent/family.

Having unrealistic expectations placed upon them.

Being pushed into roles or responsibilities the child isn't meant to take.

Fear of expressing how they feel.

Self-worth issues and low self-esteem.

Although they're usually roles that are considered opposites, they aren't as incompatible as one might think. A child can alternate between being a scapegoat or the golden child, and this usually happens when the parent is very emotionally unstable, commonly due to a disorder such as narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) or borderline personality disorder (BPD).

(I have so many thoughts about the latter applying to Bruce, but I will refrain from elaborating to not make this longer than it needs to be)

Having all I've said until now in consideration, I'm sure you've noticed how Dick meets both criterias—dare I say the golden child more often than the scapegoat.

Bruce is always speaking about how Dick is “better than him” and “the thing he's ever done right”, but in both of these statements you can see he's taking who Dick is and making it as something that's part of him, comparing Dick's accomplishments to his and putting him in this pedestal, and because of this projection happens and Bruce starts seeing Dick as an extension of himself.

This is why, when he or Dick fail, Dick will suddenly become the scapegoat, contrasting with the former golden child position he was in.

Here you can see the high expectations, praise for his accomplishments, his siblings feeling like Dick is better than them (i.e. treated differently than the rest), and you can also see how when he doesn't meet the expectations, he's met with disappointment (see: Alfred disappointed he's not as bright as he usually is) or judgment (see: Bruce angry at him because he isn't committing to his cause as much as he expects him to).

And these are examples of Bruce being too harsh on Dick and expecting him to do better, blaming him for his brother's death, and in result Dick having a habit of blaming himself and accepting mistreatment, thinking it must be his fault.

More often than not, Dick is put on a pedestal by his family and even his friends sometimes. They praise and love him, but when there's occasions in which he's acting less than perfect, the treatment towards him can change.

Dick Grayson can be the golden child as much as he can be the scapegoat.

[certifiedsexed]

is it weird that my little brother and i still bath with my little sister?

for context: my brother (16) is about two years younger than me and we’d always bath together when we were little. to my knowledge, nothing sexual happened - our parents gave us what i’d consider a good understanding of sex ed when we were young, and all either of us can remember is playing together and such with like bath toys and stuff.

but the thing is, we never really outgrew that? like, we don’t routinely bath together anymore, because we don’t fit into the bathtub lol, but we're comfortable being naked around each other and the like, and i’ll often ask him to get stuff for me if i’m the shower and vice versa. but when we’re on holiday and usually somewhere with a bigger bathtub, we’ll often share a bath or two with my little sister (8) so that we can all play with her with her bath toys, bath crayons, etc.

this sort of thing has always been normal in my family — i’ve never felt sexually harassed by them, and we’re all comfortable being naked around each other and know that our boundaries would be respected even if not. my brother and i don’t have any sexual intentions and don’t do anything sexual towards my younger sister — all we do in terms of touching her is to, like, put soap on her back, and we’ve never made any sexual comments or unwanted touches or anything.

but i’ve been starting to think this is weird because of the gap in our ages now. is it? is it something wrong/should we not be doing this? i genuinely don’t know. it’s always been normal and no one has ever expressed any discomfort, and to my knowledge no lines have been crossed, but i don’t want to be missing something if that makes sense? bc like, ive got friends whose parents never even changed in front of them, and i’m worried that my family, not having any of that sort of social stigma against non sexual nudity, is maybe doing something wrong — but i don’t know if we are, yk?

Look, people can find a reason for anything to be weird but siblings bathing together is actually quite common in some cultures and as long as none of you are being forced into it, it's fine.

Nudity in of itself is not an inherently sexual thing. Clearly, this is the culture your parents have raised you in and so far at least, you've all enjoyed it and are quite comfortable with it.

You've not described either of your parents trying to harass you in connection to nudity, none of you are doing anything sexual with each other, no one is being hurt, everything here sounds good!

If your sister were to say she was uncomfortable and you continued doing it, that would be a different matter. But this in of itself just sounds sweet, Anon.

Just because you and your brother are older doesn't mean you can't still play in the bath with your sister or change in front of each other if that's what you want to do.

Honestly, this all sounds fucking adorable and I wish you all the best!

Hope this helps, Anon. Let me know if you have any other questions! <3

[xmencompletionistgirl]

Alright, I guess this is my "yap about the Fall of the Mutants" post? This is my first major milestone completed while I'm running this blog so I'll ramble for a bit. This isn't really an event in the traditional sense, like, none of the X-titles actually cross over in meaningful ways other than a member of one book learning about the goings-on of another book via the news or something. So there isn't a grand narrative to comment on, the connecting thread is thematic, I guess. It's really just a glorified status quo change-up, which all events are in theory, but it doesn't actually really have the crossover element of the event which is kind of the selling point, so??? either way I'll talk about each book one at a time

(Uncanny X-Men #225-227)

May as well start with Uncanny. Shockingly, I don't have a ton to say. I think it was fine, but not amazing. Tbh I feel like Claremont's writing falters a bit whenever he's writing about 'end of the world' type stuff on a cosmological scale. The Phoenix Saga is great, but beyond that when he does these 'end of the universe' things it's all very similar, like a mini-Phoenix Saga repackaged. He's in love with these sweeping concepts of the world being in balance, very New Age, and he gets sort of lost in it. I don't have a great way of articulating it, though, and I'll save some of my deeper thoughts on his writing for a big fat Claremont era post once I finish his run. Some cool visuals anyway, and I'm glad that Storm has her powers back. We'll see where the 'world thinks the X-Men are dead' stuff goes, but I'm guessing it's not going to last very long.

(Power Pack #33)

X-Factor, also fine. Also not a ton to say. It was probably the weakest of the 3 overall, but not for lack of trying. I just find these early Apocalypse stories kind of dry? They aren't really saying much with his character, at least not yet. Not a fan of the 'dumb Beast' stuff either, no idea how long that last. I hope this leads to a power reset with him and getting his blue fur back, I really don't like looking at hairless Silver Age Beast. That being said, thank GOD X-Factor as Mutant Hunters era is over. Jfc what a bad concept. Simonson did her best to salvage it but you can physically feel her grating against the concept with every issue she writes. I feel so bad for her for inheriting Bob Layton's mess.

Oh I almost forgot; I hate Caliban in this?? Like, I really don't buy his turn to Apocalypse at all :( Probably the only part of this event that made me a bit irritated.

Every non-X-book tie-in was related to X-Factor, for some reason, also. It's really the only part of all of this that feels like a big event, but it's downplayed. Power Pack and Daredevil all the clear standouts. Really good. Pictured above, the Power Pack issue does a phenomenal job of selling the scale of it from a kids' perspective. Everything is on this incomprehensible scale and watching this giant rectangle of a spaceship knock into stuff in New York really sells how big of a threat Apocalypse is. And Daredevil is an on-the-street version of that, moreso focused on how New Yorkers react to this battle and think that the end of the world is here. It's a very human story and I really should read Nocenti's Daredevil run sometime, it seems pretty good.

The Fantastic Four tie-in was painfully average and the Captain America one was awful. Avoid them lol, they are very mired in their own continuity. Luckily I was familiar enough with the F4's history that I caught on quick, but they are in a VERY weird era here. No Reed or Sue, the Thing is in his pointy rock-skin era, She-Thing just got made, Doctor Doom has been ousted from Latveria... just madness. As for Cap, it's more comprehensible but it's just not very good. They're in the John Walker era and Steve has been forced out of the role (and is wearing USAgent's future costume), but he and Falcon and... *checks notes* Demolition Man a.k.a. D-Man and Nomad-but-not-the-Steve-Rogers-one,-the-Jack-Munroe-one (alright?) go and stop Famine from destroying a fuckton of crops in Nebraska or something and that's it, that's the whole tie-in. No mention of X-Factor iirc. Really weird book.

(New Mutants Vol. 1 #60)

And now, the New Mutants. Once again the BEST X-Family book. I'm a New Mutants girlie, I will stan them until my dying breath and that is THAT. I have so much to say. The book is great, Sunspot and Warlock are back, and the falling out with Magneto and the death of Doug actually sells the event!! It really feels like only they go through a status quo change worthy of the name 'The Fall of the Mutants'. It's a fairly average adventure for them to start with, and there's a bit too much fixation on a fairly uncompelling villain for my liking, but at the end of #60, a switch flicks. Doug dies in a really brutal, unceremonious way. He's just shot by the villain of the arc and that's it. He's dead.

(New Mutants Vol. 1 #60)

(New Mutants Vol. 1 #61)

I love. LOVE. Watching Illyana go demon mode on these guys. No notes. Please more of this before she's uh, out of commission until like 2007 lol.

(New Mutants Vol. 1 #61)

And then #61 is mourning. Everyone lashing out at each other and Magneto... being Magneto, ultimately pushes everyone away out of fear. I don't think my screenshots can capture it, it's really great stuff. (Also, that panel of Illyana crying about pretending to be a normal kid while sitting next to the body of her dead friend? Art.)

(Uncanny X-Men #227)

I almost forgot about this, but in Uncanny #227 we get a checkup with Kitty and Kurt, who are back! The sigh of relief I let out omg. I didn't even realize how much I missed them or how long it's been. Excalibur soon!!!!

Overall, it was alright! I'd say it's a step up from Mutant Massacre at least, which I thought was a bit all over the place. Events were a new concept back then though, and very clearly an editorial mandate, so I guess that's to be expected. I'd say read it if you're a Claremont era fan or an event completionist, but otherwise, eh. Not terrible, not mindblowing.

Except for New Mutants. That was great. Did I turn my Fall of the Mutants post into a New Mutants shill post? Yes I did and I won't apologize

[alexanderlightweight]

For writing Wednesday:

I know you only just posted the first part an hour ago, but maybe malec meeting and bonding in your new sentinel/guide au? Or magnus reacting to alec's childhood in the new sentinel/guide au. I really liked the first part and I'm weirdly fond of sentinel/guide AUs.

If you don't want to write any more sentinel/guide stuff, maybe something about how Alec growing up in the New York Institute made him weirdly connected to the wards or angelic core.

Your writing is a major highlight of my week! Please make sure to get some proper rest and dring lots of water!

Either nsfw or sfw is good

no you're good! I ended up having a flareup last night that hit pretty bad. I took my meds and got through it but I couldn't think straight so I'm finishing now, today lol there's a piece that goes before this here because you are not the only one who asked for more! and I love sentinel/guide au's so like, I definitely get being weirdly fond since i'm extremely weirdly into the trope.

thank you! I am definitely working to hydrate and drink water not just tea today! I hope you hydrate as well and have a good day and everyone who reads this! drink and rest <3

i hope you enjoy <3 lumine

currency of fate

Magnus frowns at the way his magic is tugging frantically at his levels, trying to beg for more magic yet he refuses. Recognizing exactly which one of his many wards are currently running out and unwilling to assign more of his magic to shadowhunters.

Fifteen minutes later, Magnus catches a fire message out of the air and when he goes to ignore it, Cahya’s growl deters him.

There’s a moment where Magnus meets eyes the same blue as his magic and then he rereads the message carefully. 

“You want us to go there, despite insisting we ignore everything to do with the Institute for almost two decades?”

Cahya growls, a stubborn note to the rumble.

“Then off we shall go.” Magnus steps into his closet to change and instead, his clothes are magically swapped. Cahya is unrepentant as they impatiently nudge Magnus and well, they have impeccable taste and are unwilling to wait.

Magnus’ outfit is dark, elegant and deadly.  It’s a statement piece of power and wealth and Magnus wears it with ease as he summons a portal and appears just outside the Institute doors. It’s with a sigh that he straightens his back and lets a smirk grow across his mouth.

The doors don’t open until Magnus flares his magic but there’s no one on the other side, in fact it isn’t until he’s already down the corridor that he hears voices at all. 

“Sentinel Bane!” There’s a call of recognition as a shadowhunter with dark, shoulder length twists greets him.  He’s clearly worried even as he nods to Magnus, politely refraining from offering his hand. 

“There’s a problem with the power levels of the wards, correct?” Magnus doesn’t want to waste time, he wants to get to the bottom of the issue so he can hunt down whatever is causing the restlessness in his soul to wake up.

“No, the wards are a problem but the real problem is Alec and his guide abilities and how the wards are isolating him.”

“What?” Magnus needs to be certain he heard that correctly. 

“Alec Lightwood, the Head and Commander, he’s a guide. We can’t get anyone close to him and the wards are shutting down in a pattern that’s locking us in our Institute but away from him. Medical can’t reach him and everyone who got past the wards before lockdown started are already unconscious from Alec’s abilities.”

That doesn’t make any sense.

None of it.

Magnus would have known if there was a nephilim guide on his territory, he couldn’t have been hidden under Magnus’ own wards. There is no reason for his own magic to betray him so intimately. There’s a slim chance the guide recently came online, or is visiting from Idris, but Magnus still should have been able to feel or at least notice them.

“Why wasn’t his pride called?”

“He doesn’t have one. I can’t tell you why, it’s classified and I don’t personally know.” The implication is he’d tell Magnus if he did know is not unappreciated.  “They said restraining and healing magic are our best hope and as local Archon, you shouldn’t be overwhelmed.”

“Overwhelmed?”

“He’s powerful and the sentinel who caused this had been decently powerful. The Clave sent him through from Idris but he was sent back catatonic before the wards started to rampage.”

Cahya growls and flicks their round ears before knocking a large paw into Magnus’ calf followed by a hurried snap of their teeth in the air. Impatience suddenly sharp as the frost beading on their silver fur.

“Oh.”

There would be a reason, and not one that could be considered a betrayal. In fact it explains why Magnus magic is so desperately trying to sequester the guide, to hide him away from intruders or other sentinels.

Sentinel’s who aren’t Magnus if what Magnus thinks is right.

Magnus portals through the shuddering and quickly closing wards.  

They are locking in on themselves, just as the nephilim at the entry said. The fragmented magic was running out of power and it latched on the angelic core like a leech. Layering shields around the shadowhunter guide, his surroundings and finally the very Institute.

—

Alec tries to forget the rage trembling through his body, tries to clear his mind and ignore the fact that the Clave is pushing their agenda on him. There’s a strange noise that the wards don’t react to and a presence Alec doesn’t recognize is suddenly in the same space as him.

Alec’s mind reacts first and yet instead of a foreign intrusion, he’s met with nothing but familiar comfort and his mind unravels, reaching out to pool against the stronger power. It’s slightly different from what already guards his mind, but it’s too familiar for Alec to be thwarted.

It’s exactly what he needs after the slick, disgusting feeling of someone else's mind trying to influence his own from earlier.

“Oh darling, do you even know what you’re asking for?”

The voice is rich and makes Alec feel like he can do or ask for anything. It also doesn’t matter if he doesn’t know the words for what he wants, when he knows instinctively it’s what he needs.

“I’ll settle you enough to get you out of here. Then I’ll bond you properly.” 

—-

Magnus' mind luxuriates in the feel of rich, raw energy nestling against him and his senses instantly calm. Layers upon layers of Alec... Alexander's mind wraps around him in protective defense. The restlessness is purged, instead being replaced by urgency.

Magnus frowns as his guide growls, clearly displeased by the suggestion and the fact that Magnus isn’t yet touching him.  However, the last thing Magnus wants to do is bond to his guide in an unfamiliar and dangerous location, no matter that his magic is wreathed about the Institute.

The euphoria of being right, of having his guide here and now and already begging to be his — as if he hasn’t always been. Considering that Magnus can already feel the reciprocal energy of shields on his boy’s mind and doubts Alexander’s ever been anything but his.

Magnus knows that with his own tendency to go feral and the way Alexander’s rage coils like veins of lava bubbling beneath the surface that he should go for the kind of bond that will stabilize them. However Magnus has always been accused of being ‘too much’ and perhaps, he wants to prove people right.

In his own special way, of course.

After all, it’s a gift from Magnus, a choice that he’s making, to ensure someone else is correct for once.

So as much as Magnus wants to fuck Alexander through the Institute’s floor and sear their bond into existence and would be happy to do so. He also doesn’t want to share a single moment of their bonding euphoria with any shadowhunter beyond the one that’s his.

“I’m going to leave a note and then I’ll take you somewhere we can bond.”

Alexander grumbles at the delay, his familiar echoing displeasure and then a sharp-toothed maw and soft muzzle nudge Magnus’ fingers as if in acceptance.

Which is sweet, because no how much Magnus wants to sink his senses into Alexander here and now, he can’t with the knowledge and sense input of all the enemies around him.

AN:

typically sentinel/guides kind of project emotions when bonding etc and Magnus doesn't want to share that sensation. he could share it with his own pride as like a morale boost but he might not ever share that.

Alec is dissociating right now because after another year of ignoring attempts, the Clave sent one of the sentinels who work more directly under their influence to uh... seduce him. It didn't work and Alec's mad and the wards had a panic because they don't want to risk losing Alec for Magnus' sake and Alec's safety.

i'll get more into descriptions later, Cahya is ice natured as a representation of Magnus' future guide and Jayr is fire natured for the same reason

[silksongeveryday]

Drawing Hornet everyday until Silksong comes out - Day 365!

1 year! One whole year of daily doodles!!

Honestly?? Idk how to feel, so much has happened since I first started this blog.

I guess I’ll just write what I’m thinking right now??

(Everything under the cut, this thing is longer than I expected)

A lot of this text probably isn’t going to make sense. I’m writing this at 1 am. If there’s any mistakes or errors that’s why. I’ll fix them in the morning maybe.

So like. This whole thing kinda started as a joke, I wasn’t intending to actually draw for a year straight lmao. Like I even used a completely different art style from my regular one that was simple, quick and intentionally dumb. Not that I’m upset by it, I’m actually quite proud of myself that I managed to stick to something for an entire year. That’s pretty unusual for me believe it or not. My original intention was to stop at maybe 20 days because I really wasn’t expecting for this blog to get as much love as it did.

So, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so so much to everyone who has followed and supported this silly little idea I had, you guys are the biggest reason my experience has been so positive and worth it. (Sure it’s not original but I hope it’s at least been interesting!)

I’ve said this a few times now but I’ve mentioned wanting to take a break. I’ll admit that even though it’s been fun it’s still pretty tiring to keep up with this blog sometimes since some recent life events have made it so hard. After some thought, I’ve decided that I’ll likely take a break sometime in the coming months. Maybe toward day 400 or so. As of right now, things are at a lull so I’ve been okay enough mentally and physically to keep up this daily streak I think. Though this could change in an instant for whatever reason.

Overall I think my burnout has kind of gone away I think?? Or at least I’ve been reinvigorated recently after replaying a few runs of hk randomizer and steel soul. No promises it’ll stay away but I silly expect it to come in waves.

Ok but call me crazy or delusional or whatever, but my hopes are up that Silksong will release this year. (which means slowing down/not doing daily doodles yay) I genuinely believe big news is coming since I’ve been getting a lot of dreams lately about something happening with Silksong in March. Idk, I could be wrong but after doing this for a year I’m literally clinging onto anything right now lol

I’d obviously still make the occasional doodle or two when HKSS releases but not daily. This stuff is tough to keep up sometimes, I would never do daily posts like this again once it’s over

Oh yeah also I have an actual big drawing I’m still working on, expect that in sometime in the next few weeks I think!

Anyway, I can’t think of anything else to say right now so I guess that’s it for now!

Thanks so much and here’s to more doodles!

[tenswrld]

true romance

popstar!haechan x upcomingartist!reader, angst, fluff

summary: haechan's the world's boyfriend — and yours too, i guess.

word count: 4.1k

listen to: true romance - pinkpantheress

a/n: first, sorry that its been so long...im trying to be better about writing but inspiration comes and goes,,i hope you will indulge in whatever this is!!! everytime i hear this song my mind goes to haechan for some reason sooo yeah >_< i have lots of drafts its just a matter of when or if i finish them LOL love yall tho & enjoy

•°. *࿐

tell me, do you view me the same or do you call me a stranger?

"leave a bit after me so no one sees."

haechan is popular — without a doubt one of the most popular artists of your time. everyone either wants to be him or be with him, to which you completely understand. everything about him screams someone who was born to be on a stage, stealing hearts and whatnot. with such a bright personality, it was almost impossible to not like him.

you've had the privilege of getting to watch haechan grow from singing songs he wrote in his bedroom on youtube to him performing them in sold out shows. you're a fan, of course, but somewhere along the way — with crazy luck — you've wiggled your way into his life and into his heart. the two of you were music artists wishing on every star for some kind of breakthrough to the industry (take a guess on who got it). naturally, it brought you together. you were there when haechan reached 5,000 subscribers, and you were still there when he was selling out shows to 50,000 people. you've stuck by his side for so long that you're sure that its where you fit best.

in the moment, however, you're not so sure anymore.

"leave a bit after me so no one sees."

the small smile on your face slowly disappears at haechan's words and hurt quickly settles into your chest. "...why? what would be so bad about that?"

haechan seems unable to grasp how upset you are at his words. he shakes his head with a small laugh. "it's not like that, y/n. but a scandal at this time wouldn't be good."

"a scandal?" you scoff slightly. "since when have you ever cared about that?"

he sighs and runs a hand through his hair that's still slightly wet from his post-performance sweat. "i just don't want to take any risks right now. especially since my album is coming out soon. you understand, right?"

"i fly all the way out here to see you, and you don't want to be seen with me?" you say with a trembling lip and a weak voice. you're hurt and you're angry, but can't seem to keep your tears at bay.

"i didn't say that."

"you might as well have," you spit back at him.

"let's talk about this later, okay? trust me, it would be a lot worse for you than it would for me." haechan picks up his bag and swings it over his shoulder, making his way towards the backstage exit door.

frozen in place overwhelmed with emotion, you watch your boyfriend open the door. you think he's had a change of heart when he pauses at the door and turns back to you, but somehow he's managed to hurt you even more.

"maybe you should take these too," he says, placing the bouquet you made him back into your hold. the smell of roses and sunflowers taking over your senses as more tears well up in your eyes. you hope the flowers hide them from haechan's gaze. though, you're not so sure he'd notice anyway, as he'd already let the door close and left you behind.

•°. *࿐

'cause, baby, i don't care about the fame

people talk. as an upcoming music artist, you're aware that people talk. as the (hidden) girlfriend of a global superstar, you're more than aware that people love to talk about anything and everything that doesn't concern them.

you and haechan aren't on the same level of fame — not that it matters to you. it never mattered to you, really. even as haechan grew and grew and you remained with your significantly smaller (but still decent) following, fame was never your strongest desire.

yet, now, you're wondering that maybe if you were just a bit more famous, more popular, more well known, then you wouldn't feel as far away from haechan as you do right now. even as he sits beside you on the king bed of the luxury suite he booked for this stop of his tour, you feel further away from him then ever.

"i mean, what would people say about us, y/n? about you?"

"you keep saying that, hyuck, but you're not explaining it to me," you say, growing frustrated with him. "why is it just about me?"

he purses his lips before averting his gaze to the floor. "they'll say nasty stuff about you — that you're using me for fame, or money, or something like that."

you shake your head. "but you and i both know that's not true. we've been together for how many years now? their words shouldn't matter." you take hold of his hand and rub your thumb against his knuckles. "you could have nothing and i'd still be here."

"people don't know that," he scoffs. "they'll assume the worst about you."

maybe he's right — you're sure they will assume the worst about you regardless of your long, deep history with haechan. would he start to believe them? you think it, but you don’t ask — too afraid of the answer you might receive.

"what are you so afraid of?" you ask him softly, begging him with your mind for him to look at you.

but he doesn't, his eyes stayed trained on the ground and he can only weakly squeeze your hand that holds onto his own.

"i don't know."

•°. *࿐

tell me, why i don't play about you

every song is about you

haechan finally has a short break in between the legs of his tour and he chooses to spend every waking moment of it with you.

things between the two of you have felt rocky for a while. it makes haechan ashamed to say it, but he's been so focused on tour and his new album that he's pushed everything else to the side. he's a perfectionist and he feels like he's barely made it — he wants everything to work out perfectly and is committed to making sure that happens. he's not sure how long he's been brushing off anything non-career related, but he misses you — even if you're with him.

he flys the two of you out to a small, quaint place in kyoto where he finally gets to enjoy some peace and quiet in his life. he chooses to turn off his phone, not too keen with the idea of his manager berating him about all his responsibilities he'll have to tend to when he gets back. he's on vacation and he's here with you: the one person who's been with him through every up and down.

you're laying in his arms and haechan misses you to the point where it hurts — when was the last time he laid with you like this? the revelation urges him to pull you closer, placing a soft kiss to the crown of your head as you lay on his chest. he sighs into your hair, breathing all of you in. it's silent, for the most part, until you ask a question that rattles haechan's being.

"why do you not sing about me?" you ask it so softly that haechan almost misses it.

"what? what are you talking about?" he's genuinely confused as to what you mean. who do you think he sings about?

"i know a handful of your old old songs are about me, but you don't perform those anymore," you murmur into his chest. "ah, don't mind me, i'm just talking."

you sound embarrassed and defeated and haechan wants to cry. did you really not know? how long has he been pushing you away?

"y/n, every single song i write is about you," haechan professes. "i couldn't write about anyone else if i tried."

his words shock you, even if they shouldn't. you tilt your head up to look up at him and he looks down at you with the softest gaze.

"not that i ever would, anyway," he continues, a sad smile painting his face.

"you mean it?" you whisper to him, wanting so badly to believe him.

when haechan's resolve breaks and his eyes glaze over, you know he means it. his hold on you tightens with one hand and the other comes up to caress your cheek, swiping a tear you didn't even know had fallen.

"of course," he croaks. "you're my muse, y/n. you."

this time, you're wiping his tears away as he cries and cries into your palms. you shift the two of you so that he lies in between your legs, arms wrapped around your waist and face buried into your torso, your hands running through his hair. he's apologizing over and over and doesn't say why, but you know why. you regret ever doubting haechan's love for you — even if he was to blame.

but, just as you're certain you love him more than anything, you know that haechan loves you back all the same.

"it's always been you, y/n."

•°. *࿐

and everybody’s shouting out your name

“you look too handsome to be pouting like that, you know,” you tease lightly, approaching haechan to adjust his tie fondly.

he can’t help but smile at you as you do so, his hands easily finding their place around your waist, tugging you close. “if you tell me to stay, i will.”

you sigh and place your hands upon his chest, allowing you to push yourself up to place a soft kiss on his lips. his lips trail after yours once you pull away and he pouts at you again, eyes begging for another kiss but you push him back ever so slightly.

“you can’t miss this, hyuck, you know that. this could be really big for you!” you beam, swiping a bit of your lip gloss off of his lips. “some important people might be there.”

“but you won’t be there,” he whines. “what’s the point?”

you roll your eyes playfully. “you’ll be fine. now go, your manager has been waiting.” haechan sighs and leans down to place one more kiss on your lips.

you pull away before he can get carried away. “go! and put a good word in for me with taeyong, yeah?”

haechan rolls his eyes but smiles at you, pecking you on the cheek as he bids you farewell. “no promises.”

ੈ♡˳

it’s barely been over an hour and haechan wants to leave.

normally he’s able to tolerate these sorts of things — the bright lights, loud music, snobby people all trying to one up each other. he can get by and chat with anyone as if he’s known them for years. typically, events like these breeze by for haechan. why was he hating every second of it?

it’s lee taeyong’s end of year celebration party. of course, as his junior, haechan was invited. he’s grateful that he’s made friends with lots of other artists under his company, otherwise haechan would have been long gone within the first 45 minutes of arriving. but, haechan stays, mostly because he admires taeyong and does, in fact, bring up you and your songs — which, to his surprise, taeyong says he knows you and enjoys your music.

haechan isn’t given the chance to talk more, unfortunately, due to an excited kim jungwoo who locks an arm around haechan’s shoulder and drags him away.

“ow — hyung! i was in the middle of a conversation!” haechan grits to jungwoo, lightly shoving his arm off of him.

“my bad, it looked like you needed saving,” jungwoo chuckles. “come on, everyone’s been looking for you.”

jungwoo leads haechan to a small circle of people to which haechan knows as his small circle of friends: mark, his company's beloved canadian rapper; johnny suh, one of seoul's most popular djs; and of course there's kim jungwoo, kim doyoung, and jeong jaehyun who make up dojaejung, korea's heartthrob boy group.

"yo, where have you been?" mark greets him excitedly, lightly slapping him on the shoulder playfully.

"what do you mean 'where have i been', i saw you yesterday, mark," haechan grumbles.

"woah, someone needs a drink," johnny chuckles. doyoung is quick to hand haechan a glass of champagne.

haechan takes a large gulp, hopefully to ease whatever tension he feels in his shoulders. he's trying to enjoy the party, he really is, but all he wants to do is come home to you.

"everything okay?" doyoung asks him, concerned with the way haechan seems to be downing his drink.

the younger boy sighs. "yeah, i'm fine, sorry. just stressed out."

"oh, your album is coming out soon, right?" jungwoo remembers, nudging haechan with his elbow. "congratulations!"

the rest of the boys congratulate him and haechan can only half-heartedly reply despite being very grateful.

"i'm sure it'll be great," johnny reassures him.

"saw a lot of love songs on that track list," jungwoo teases. "got a special someone?"

haechan stills at his words and he's caught in an argument with himself. does he mention you? does he say no? is this how he wants people to find out you’re together? before he can even reply, though, jaehyun cuts in.

"speaking of, i heard that kim minjeong has had her eye on you for a while, haechan," jaehyun says. he raises his eyebrows at the younger boy and haechan gulps, the rest of his friends nudging him playfully as they coo at him.

"that's the model, right? and singer?" doyoung asks. "you should talk to her!"

haechan feels like he's going to be sick. maybe he's being dramatic — its not like they're shoving him into minjeong's face and asking him to profess his love. still, he feels like he's betraying you in some way and he realizes he has to go home.

"i can talk you up, probably," mark says. "we're normally at the studio at the same time."

“i heard that shin ryujin has been talking about you, too,” johnny pipes in. “honestly, who hasn’t been talking about you? i’m surprised you’ve done nothing about it.”

doyoung hums. “she seems like your type, donghyuck! i know some people over at —“

"no! no, don't — " haechan places his champagne glass onto a nearby table abruptly and sighs shakily. "just...don't. sorry, i-i don't feel well. i should go."

confused and concerned eyes watch haechan as he rushes towards the nearest exit. he doesn't bother saying goodbye to taeyong, but makes a mental note to send him an apologetic note tomorrow. haechan sees kim minjeong catch sight of him, and he's sure she's about to make an attempt to stop him to chat with the way she looks at him with a flirty gaze. haechan is quick to turn in the opposite direction and flees out of the nearest door.

haechan's manager comes out soon behind him, frenzied after trying to catch up to a frantic haechan. he doesn't get the chance to ask the latter if he's okay, too occupied with calling their driver upon haechan's request.

"home," he chokes out. he's out of breath and he feels dizzy — whether its from the champagne or from guilt, he's unsure.

"i want to go home."

•°. *࿐

i'm in the crowd, can you see my hand?

haechan has reached the encore of his final show of his tour, yet he still feels a pressure that he cannot explain.

its not from all of his seniors and friends that attended in support of him, he knows that. it's not from the different producers and music artists that flew to seoul for him, either. its a pressure that weighs on his chest that has made him feel unsatisfied with each stage, despite putting 150% effort in everything.

the crowd is going crazy for him after he delivers his final ment, and he takes a moment to soak in it all, in hopes it would give him some peace of mind.

then, his eyes finally spot you.

you, in the back row of some random section, sitting with your manager, with a banner with his name on it and a headband with bear ears perched on top of your head. he doesn't know if you can tell that he's staring right at you, but you start waving around the banner with excitement. haechan can't help but adore you even more than he already does.

time stops for him as he realizes that you're here. through thick and thin you've always been there — what has haechan ever done for you? he hasn't given you even a sliver of what you deserve, yet you've never left him. you stayed when he was a nobody, and even now when he's been terribly selfish, you let him be.

there are thousands of other hands waving at him, but haechan can only see yours.

"actually," haechan starts, quickly silencing the crowd. "there's one more thing i wanted to say."

from your seat, you feel your heartbeat quicken. haechan is still standing and looking into your direction and you know he sees you.

"there's someone very special to me that's here tonight."

your heart stops as you realize what he's doing and you can't help but glance at your manager in a panic. fans around you are murmuring in confusion since haechan had already given a shoutout to his guests.

"they've been by my side since i was writing silly love songs in my childhood bedroom," haechan says, a fond smile taking over his features. "i wrote those love songs about them then, and i still write every love song about them now."

the gasps and shocked noises at his confession fall upon deaf ears — to you, you and haechan are the only two people in the world.

"some of you may know her — she's an amazing music artist as well. far better than me, in my opinion, but maybe i'm a bit biased." haechan sees you laugh and can't help but chuckle too.

"my girlfriend, y/n, is here tonight, and i couldn't be more grateful. wave, y/n!" haechan calls out to you. surprisingly, the camera cuts to you as you wave shyly, hiding behind your haechan banner. even more surprising, the crowd cheers loudly for you.

"isn't she cute?" haechan asks. he's delighted when he sees and hears the rest of the stadium agree.

haechan finally feels that weight lift from off of his chest and he feels like he can breathe. he's happy — ecstatic, even — now that the world finally knows he's yours.

"y/n, you once asked me what i was afraid of, and i said i didn't know," haechan recalls gently. "but i know now." he purses his lips to prevent himself from choking up.

"you've always been so supportive of everything i've done. you've done so much for me and i'm not sure how i could ever repay you." haechan sucks in a sharp breath. "i'm afraid that i'll never truly deserve you."

the crowd coos and some fans in front of you turn around to look at you. you're a mess: tears are streaming down your face, and your hands are shaking. you hide pathetically behind your banner again as your manager wraps a comforting arm around your shoulder.

"i'm sorry for making you wait." haechan puts a hand over his heart, and you do the same. "i love you."

the camera cuts to you again and haechan glances at the monitor to get a better look at you as you mouth something back. haechan doesn't even attempt to conceal his smile or to hold back his tears. there's no use.

"i love you, too."

•°. *࿐

say what you want, this is true romance

“did you really have to mention that, hyuck?”

your boyfriend settles next to you on the couch, arm draping over your shoulder, as you scroll through his recent interview with vogue korea.

you pout at him and he's unable to stop the smile that takes over his face. he pinches your cheek and you quickly swat his hand away.

"what? what did i say?" he rests his chin on your shoulder to read the article for himself.

"i mean, does the public really have to know about me crying on our first date?" you complained. you continued scrolling and laughed as you read. "in what context would you ever have to tell vogue about our matching crayon shin-chan pajama pants?"

haechan laughs and presses a kiss to your shoulder. "honestly, i don't remember half of what i said during this interview. or any of what they asked me." he tugs you a little closer to him so that you're leaning against him, laying the two of you down. "all i know is that i'm pretty sure i started talking about you so much that they just called it a day."

"you're that obsessed with me, huh?" you teased.

haechan scoffs, wrapping both of his arms around you tightly. "obviously."

he watches you open instagram and sees you check the likes on your new post. he gasps dramatically, loosening one arm around you to snatch his phone from his pocket. "you posted?! where was my post notification?" he whines cutely.

he's a little too quick to find your account and he then quadruple clicks the picture to give it a like. "babe, why are your comments off? i was about to get really out of pocket," haechan whines again.

"okay, first, don't do that, please. save some of your dignity," you scold him. "but its because people are mean," you admit softly.

haechan's eyebrows furrow together and his tone stiffens. "who? what did they say?"

you sigh. "no one specific, don't worry. some people are just not too keen about us. your predictions were right, i guess," you attempt to joke, but it only makes haechan upset.

"here, come here," haechan beckons you up with him as he sits up. you're still under one of his arms, which he locks around your neck as he tugs you into his side. you're caught off guard, but lean into him anyway, arms wrapped around his torso. haechan lifts his phone up and takes selfies of the two of you, cheeks pressed together as you both smile uncontrollably.

you're both giggling like two high schoolers fresh into a relationship and you've never felt more happy and in love in your life. haechan presses wet kisses against your cheek before you eventually push his face away. still, he steals one more kiss from you — this time on your lips — and you let him.

"okay, i'm posting all of these," haechan declares casually, leaning back against the couch.

your eyes widen and you reach for his phone in an attempt to stop him, but haechan has already dodged you and raised his hand up. "hyuck, don't."

"why not? i'm in love with you, people just have to deal with it," he shrugs. "anyone who has a problem with us can get blocked."

you fall onto haechan's chest and he gladly wraps you up in his arms again. "you're stupid, but i love you."

"good, because i just posted it."

you peer up at haechan's phone and you see that he was true to his word. all of the selfies you just took piled into one singular post to which haechan captioned 'my heart'. you watch as he scrolls through the comments and blocks anyone with anything bad to say.

"wow, you weren't kidding," you say, amused.

"'course not. these people need to learn true romance." he leans down to kiss you one more time, this time letting the kiss linger. he pulls away but rests his forehead against yours, staring at you with eyes full of love. "i love you, too, by the way."

ੈ♡˳

haechan is popular — without a doubt, he's one of the most sought after guys in the industry. he's confident, charismatic, and he's bright. he's everyone's dream guy, it's no secret.

but, above all, he's yours, and you're his as well. he has devoted his heart and life to you and its not a secret to anyone anymore.

this time around, haechan wraps you up in his scarf to protect you from the cold before the two of you leave.

"i already have a scarf on, hyuck, just keep yours," you mumble from underneath the thick fabric.

haechan doesn't hear you (not just because he literally can't) because he's too focused on zipping up your jacket and tugging your beanie over your ears.

"okay," he says as he intertwines a hand in yours. he clutches the bouquet you made for him proudly in his other arm while he carries your bag and his own over his shoulder. "let's go home!"

its bittersweet as you realize how familiar yet different the situation is. you clutch haechan's hand tighter as he tugs you towards the backstage exit door, outside where the press and his fans are waiting.

he doesn't hide you anymore. no, instead haechan shows you off proudly and wholeheartedly as if it was what he was meant to do.

[illusioncanthurtme--art]

First off, always love to see your art so 90s-ified billford is wonderful. Secondly, I grew up on Don Bluth movies and adore the style to this day but I find imitating it takes forever since the colours in the linework change depend on what's being outlined. Do you feel the same or is there an obvious shortcut I'm missing?

Oh! Good question! I did notice that the lines vary in color from looking at screenshots, but I didn't want to take ten years to change the colors of all the lines, and also I didn't care too much about being *accurate* or anything. I was mostly just aiming for vibe. So I really pushed the whole old, low res screenshot vibe, so I wouldn't have to put in as much effort into other, more subtle things, like the colors and textures of cel animation.

I made the lines dark brown (seemed like a neutral color that would look good), and then only changed the line color at a few spots: glasses black, bills hands and body outline white/light grey, and I decided to make fords pants light blue, just because if I didn't, they would blend in with the background. Since ford is mostly made up of warm colors, the brown lines as the default made sense. Only exception might be his blue shirt, but I didn't bother with it, it's not really noticeable.

I put a magenta "saturation" layer on top of everything - and not only did this make everything look brighter/more like animation colors, it also made the lines look more like their surrounding colors, for some reason. Mostly the white lines on bills hands. (Idk what half these layer modes technically do LOL! I just experiment with them.)

But like i said, I compensated for half-assing things by making it look very fuzzy. Here it is without all the layers to make it look like an old screenshot: (it's also just a very low res image to begin with)

Let me know if you have any other questions! I hope this made sense.

[tempests-bards-and-birds]

i think that one of the most tragic aspects of venti's character is the fact that no matter how hard he tries, no replication that he can make of the bard will ever be perfect because for a single image or concept to be long-lasting and static goes entirely against the nature of the wind.

it has been consistently emphasised throughout the game that "seeds of stories brought by the wind" will be "cultivated" by time - in other words, they will grow, but they will never remain the same as they were when they were first told; to try to remove that element of warping and artistic interpretation that is inevitable as a story is passed on is like trying to bottle up a storm and hoping that'll stop it from damaging the surroundings - instead, no one will ever know about it, and the only thing that it will have left to destroy will be itself.

venti is basically doing exactly this by trying to preserve the bard's memory - the only way to stop it from being warped would be to remove it from any kind of environment where that could happen, which would require taking the story out of circulation, which then means that he is the only living being who knows it in its whole detail and entirety. he understands, however, the fallibility of his own memory, as can be seen in how reminders of it seem to shake him; in his story quest, he seems strangely unguarded after resolving the situation with hans (whose story is massively identical to venti's for a reason - having a mirror can be very useful for storytelling, and genshin relies on it perhaps a bit too much), describing the barbatos statue as "the usual place" despite the fact that for our traveler, it is not (this ties into another theory that i am Not going into here lol). we know that venti prizes being able to keep a certain level of anonymity, with him describing the traveler's high level of intuition as "scary", so for him to show even the slightest level of disregard for maintaining his façade suggests that being faced with the reality of the impossibility of his self-imposed purpose is something that did really bother him (which tbf makes sense now that i write it out).

comparisons have been made before between venti and zhongli wherein the irony of having a god of wind whose appearance is unchanging and a god of stone who is (supposedly, if we assume zhongli's teasing about his own past forms to be reflective of the truth) in contrast constantly shifting is often key, and in a lot of ways zhongli's situation does mirror venti's in many ways; he theoretically has the ability to accurately preserve history as one would by carving it into stone, and yet it is almost as if he lets it slip through his fingers instead - he finds humour in inaccurate historical accounts and allows himself to change, not just physically but in terms of attitude (the whole point of the liyue aq is for him to be able to do this; to live as a mortal after millenia spent overseeing as a god). in many ways venti and zhongli are polar opposites, but the theme of wanting to transcend one's physical constraints, of wanting a state of existence that the other already in theory has, is consistent throughout both.

venti, however, seems to be so much more uncomfortable with this than zhongli is, and this awareness of the issue while still being so bothered by it to the extent that he pushes it away even more, causing the pressure in that jar to by extension increase too, is where the true point of tragedy lies.

maybe, though, by deciding to share the bard's story with the traveler, he is beginning to accept the necessity for change.

[littlexscarletxwitch]

── ༊*·˚⋆ 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸 𝗶𝘁, 𝗶𝘁'𝘀 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗲

paring: yelena belova x fem!reader

tag(s): smut with plot but not really, a bit of angst but then again not really, nsfw, wlw sex

warning(s): MDNI, +18 ONLY read at your own risk, explicit wlw smut, wlw sex, oral sex, kinda toxic relationship, mentions of drinking alcohol, grammatical errors, unedited

word count: 3k

note: I'M SO SORRY GUYS IT SOOOO LOOOONG. College had been kicking my ass. Agh! I need a break from that shit. Anyways... I was actually going to make the smut part longer but I kinda didn't want to ruin it, so this is what you get lol. Also I literally googled the russian pet names, so please correct me if they are wrong. I hope you all like it! Lots of love, M <3

note 2: I got so many requests and I'm so glad you guys asked me to write your ideas, I really appreciate that. It's going to take me so time but I WILL WRITE THEM and I'm so excited about them. Love the way you guys think lol <3

requests are open! + check my rules here + masterlist <3

⇨ Detka: baby - Moya lyubov: my love - Malishka: little girl - Krasotka: gorgeous

You knew this whole thing was wrong, it was a toxic never ending cycle, but still you could never help yourself when it came to her. 

You and Yelena were together for three years, three years filled with love and lust and happiness; but then your relationship became hateful, bitter and full of anger, still the lust between the two of you remained the same.

Allegedly, the two of you had broken up 5 months ago. Allegedly, you resented her for the shit she put you through. Allegedly, you didn’t even want to see her face. 

Nevertheless, she always found her way back to you, —back to your bed—. The moment her lips made contact with yours, you knew you had lost all sense of reason. How could you restrain yourself when her hips grazed against yours in a slowly almost painful yet divine pace that had you arching your back and curling your toes?

“Fuck,” you breathed out, as her hands thighten the frim grip on your waist.

You always promised yourself it would be the last time, that it was just your body reacting to hers, that you would be strong the next time and would turn her down. It took you a couple more slips to finally understand that you and Yelena were done, that the two of you were through. But you finally came to your senses.

“You do know this is the last time, right?” you said breathless, feeling your quick heartbeat in your eardrums. 

You sword to yourself that would be the last time you let yourself give in to her. Just one more night of pleasure, just one more night of kisses and whimperings and moans, and the next day it would be over. 

“Yeah, I know,” though her voice was muffled by your cunt you could still make out the sarcastic tone in her voice. 

“I mean it, Yel,” you tried to sound serious, and apparently you did because she lifted up her head for her eyes to find yours.

“I know you do,” and she did know. She knew that you meant it, at that specific moment. 

But she also knew your statement wouldn’t last long, that you would soon change your mind and her lips would find their way back to your neck, hips, thighs and cunt. 

So she allowed you to think it was over, but it will be over once she decided so. 

[...]

It’d been a year since you had last seen her, you thought that was it, that the two of you had moved on at last. But maybe you got it all wrong, maybe all the things she made you feel enhanced by being away from her, maybe you forced yourself to forget about her. But there was no point in trying it, for she had made a mark on your heart. Like a tattoo, always under skin even when it gets removed.

But tonight was supposed to be different, you were supposed to have fun, drink and dance with your girl friends. But for some odd reason you couldn't stop thinking about the blonde. You would mess around with some people, but you found yourself thinking that it wasn’t her hands roaming around your body, or her lips leaving kisses and bites all over your neck, it wasn't her scent and it most certainly wasn’t her hoarse voice reaching your ears.

As you and your friends made your way to the bar, you heard your phone ringing. Even before you took a look at the screen you were 100% sure that it was her calling you, who else could it be then? 

Your heart picked up its pace as you looked at the ID caller and your suspicions were confirmed. It was at that moment that you realised that you had never blocked or deleted her contact number. 

Before you could answer or decline the call, it stopped. You swallowed down the lump that hard formed on your throat, unsure of what would be next. And soon after it stopped you got a text from her, you were about to read it when you noticed that someone was calling out for you. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” you said, quickly putting away your phone, trying to focus on your friend’s words over the loud music.

“We have to use the restroom. Let’s go,” she said, reaching out for your hand, motioning for you to tag along. 

“No,” you step back, away from her reach. “I, um,” you felt your phone burning your hand. “I’m going to get some air, okay?” you noticed she wanted to say something against it, so you quickly added: “I’ll be right back, I promise,” you smiled at them, before making your way out of the club before they would follow after you. 

Once the cold air of the night filled your lungs you felt like you could finally breathe properly. You looked at her missed call and her text message on your phone screen, it was simple: an address. You knew what that meant, but you weren’t sure of what you should do. As if sensing your doubt, she called you again. The phone kept on ringing in your hand, as you made up your mind.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? Yes, you might not be really drunk but the alcohol was messing with your brain and you were not thinking straight. Plus, your friends were going to kill you for meeting her.

Seeing her tonight was a bad idea, right? You weren’t just going to throw away the last year and pretend like nothing had happened.

Seeing her would be a bad idea, right? But your mind had other plans as the memories of her soft lips and her rough hands and her raspy voice all came rushing to your brain, and suddenly it was all you could think of.

Seeing her tonight…? Fuck it, it’s fine, was your only thought as you picked up the call. 

“Hello, detka.”

The old pet name sent a silver up your spine, still you were yet to form a coherent thought. 

“I missed you,” she paused, waiting for you to say something. “Did you miss me?” she tried again. Still, you weren’t answering her, but she knew you were listening carefully to every word. “You know? I’m all alone right now. I wouldn’t mind some company.”

You could sense the undertone she was using, you were no fool to her tactics, even though you would always fall for them. That was the kind of power Yelena had over you, everytime you would do so much as think about her your brain would just shut down and you wouldn’t be able to hear your own thoughts. 

“No,” you stated firmly. Shaking your head even though she could not see you. 

“Oh, baby. What’s the matter? You want me to pick you up?” you could hear the jiggling of some set of keys. Your heart stopped for a second, was she really that desperate to come and pick you up? You felt your stomach burning. 

“This is… This is not right, Yelena. I shouldn't have picked up the call. I should probably not—.”

“Oh, come on, moya lyubov,” again with the russian nickname that would make your knees weak. “How about this, I pick you up, we get some coffee and we just have a quick chitchat?”

You knew that it never was so simple with Yelena, but you felt your walls crashing down. 

“I’m not sure, Yel…” it felt weird to pronounce that nickname after so long. 

“Look up, pretty girl.”

You felt your stomach sink as you did as you were told. And there she was, in all her glory. You didn’t even question how she knew exactly where you were, Yelena just knew stuff. You knew she was your ex, but she said it was just a quick chat, can’t two people reconnect? You knew you were stronger now to her advances, you were pretty sure you only saw her as a friend. But, in all honesty, you knew you were full of shit. 

Without a word, you sent a text to your friends, put your phone in your purse and got into the car, wrecking all your plans. You knew you should just stop, but you couldn't. You cursed yourself for that, she knew you too well and you hated both yourself and Yelena for that.

As soon as you took the passengers sit, Yelena sped up the car and the two of you left the building and your friends behind. 

“I did miss you, Y/n,” was the first thing she said as she rested her hand on your thigh. 

She knew how much you loved it when she did that.

“Mmm,” you muttered, unsure of what your answer should be. 

“Didn’t you miss me?” she jokingly asked as she gently squeezed your skin. 

“What do you want, Yel?” 

“I thought I told you,” she quickly took a look at you before looking back at the road. “I just want to chat, that’s all.”

“It’s never that simple with you.”

“Well, maybe this time it is. Maybe this time I want things to be different,” she smiled at you, making your heart skip a beat. She still had that kind of power over you and you hated her even more for that. But not really.

You gently shook your head. It was bad, you shouldn’t have picked up the call, you shouldn't have gotten into the car. You should have thought things more clearly before letting her into your life again. 

As you were mentally cursing yourself you didn’t realise that the two of you had already made it to whatever place she had driven the two of you. Realisation hit you as you now had now idea where the fuck you were, you had no other choice but to follow her. Or so you told yourself. 

Yelena opened the car door for you and stretched her hand out for you to take. Which you did, you didn’t even fight it, you longed for the contact of her skin against yours. And maybe, just maybe, you thought it would be enough, just by intertwining your fingers in between hers. But, god, you were wrong. 

You knew the moment you would step through her front door all sense of reason would leave your mind, and it would only remain the lust and feel of belonging you always felt around her. And you were right, the soon you stepped in, it was like you were that same person a year ago and you had no intention in fighting your feelings, not anymore. You thought maybe you deserve it, as a reward for being all this time apart from each other.

As soon as you entered it was as if you could feel Yelena everywhere. It wasn’t just the fact that she was there next to you with her hand in between yours, but you could all also smell her scent all over her place, you could see her in the furniture she had chosen, hear her in the music that was playing, and even though you had yet to taste her lips you were so overwhelmed by her entire being that it felt as if you already had. 

“So, um,” she cleared her throat as she closed the door behind the two of you, getting your attention. “Would you like some coffee…?”

“Fuck it, it’s fine,” you mumbled to yourself once more before dropping your purse and shortening the distance and crashing your lips against hers. 

Yelena’s hand quickly found their way to your hips, gently squeezing your flesh earning a low groan out of you. She pulled away gasping for air but the next second her lips were back on yours. You moaned into her lips as her tongue easily slipped into your mouth and found yours to mess around with. 

You felt a warm feeling in your stomach as her hands roamed all over your body leaving goosebumps on their way. Then they rested on your ass, grabbing the muscle motioning for you to jump on top of her, which you did without a second thought. The feeling became a small fire in your stomach the moment your chest was pressed against hers. 

“I knew you would come back,” she mumbled in between your lips, feeling her grin into the kiss. 

As a response you bit her bottom lip, not really sure what you meant by that but it felt good when you heard a low moan escape from her lips. 

“Don’t push your luck,” you said once you let go of it, earning a small chuckle from her. 

“Yeah, you’re right, krasotka,” her thick russian was only fuel to the growing fire in your stomach. 

Her lips found the crook of your neck and she left as many bites and kisses as she pleased, leading the two of you to her bedroom. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head and your fingers found their way in between her hair. 

Once in her bedroom, Yelena gently laid you on her bed. As her lips made their way down to your collarbone, her hand tugged at the hem of your dress slowly and painfully bringing it up to your waist. 

On command, you spread your leg open letting Yelena’s head take the place in between your thighs. She kissed and bit them, her lips ghosted over the area where you needed her the most, but all you got was her hot breath which sent a shiver up your spine and made you groan out her name. 

“Stop with the teasing,” you begged her, as your legs rested on her shoulders. 

“Tell me what you need,” she breathed out. 

“I need you… I need your lips on me,” it almost came out as a moan. 

And she did as she was told, but it wasn’t quite what you wanted. Her lips kissed and licked your core, but it wasn’t enough since the area was still being covered by your panties. You wanted more, needed more. 

“Yelena, please…” you begged her once again. 

“Shh…” she cooed as her fingers tugged at the hem of your underwear and slowly pushed it out of the way. “Is this where you need my lips, malishka,” her hot breath over your now uncovered cunt ripped a moan out of your mouth. 

“Yes, yes, just please do something. Please, Yel, I—,” a whimper cut you off as you felt her tongue licked up your slit. “Fuck,” you could feel your heartbeat going a mile per hour. 

Her tongue went up and down a few times, tasting your juices, loving who wet you were for her. She then made sure to give your clit as much attention, so she wrapped her lips around it and sucked hard. You felt your leg trembling on her shoulders as she worked her magic on you. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” you were a moaning mess, the fire in your stomach felt like it was taking over your entire body and you only wanted to give in, to let it consume you whole —to let Yelena consume you whole—.

You wrapped your legs around her head, bringing her even closer to you. The thought of her suffocating on your count scared you for half a second, but then as she ate you like a starving woman, the thought only added more to your arousal. 

Yelena took a quick look at you: eyes closed, lips slightly trembling and parted, brows furrowed, your leg around her head, your hand flying to meet her hair. She wanted that moment to last forever, she wanted to be forever buried in between your legs if it only meant she could see you like this. But she could not stop time and live forever in that moment, so she could only moan at your sight. And that was what it took for you to finally come undone in her lips.

You cried out her name as your leg almost squeezed her head too harshly, but she could take it. A few curses followed her name as her tongue and lips helped you right out your high. 

“I missed this, malishka,” she said breathlessly as you unwrapped your legs around her. 

Her nose, lips and chin were glistening from your release, you felt something like a match lighting up inside you once again. Much to your dismay she used the back of her hand to clean some of it, which she noticed that it had bothered you since you slightly frown. She chuckled at just how cute and precious you were. 

She crawled on top of you, placing her knee in between your legs and her lips found yours. You moaned as you tasted yourself on her lips and tongue, feeling the fire coming back to life. 

“I missed you… so much,” she said in between kisses. “Tell me… you missed me too…”

Drunk on her scent, lips and words you couldn’t think properly. But still the words you blurted out were the truth: “I did… I missed you too…”

“Then we should… make up for… the time we lost…'' she said as her hand expertly tugged down the cleavage of your dress, she smiled to herself as she realised you weren’t wearing a bra.

She trailed a path of kiss from your neck, down to your collarbone to finally end with her lips sucking your right nipple. 

“Yeah, we should…” you breathed out. 

“Then, we are going to be here for a while,” she said, her words were muffled by your tit inside her mouth. 

You giggled at her words but then it turned into a moan as she went on sucking. 

You knew the whole thing would fire back eventually, but your head was empty, blank, no reasonable thoughts. Just one that it keep you going and that was the only thought you were willing to listen to: ‘Fuck it, it’s fine.’

Likes, comments and reblogs are appreciated! <3

-M

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello my wonderful fandom! :) We've finally reached the ep we've all been waiting for. The gif below is pretty good description of how I felt when I turned Hulu on this morning LOL

OH my word. I knew this episode was going to be good but I had no idea how end to end good it would be. I mean obviously we were all racing toward that hotel scene. But holy hell. The journey to it was just as good tbh. To quote Sandy Cohen "The appetizer is as good as the main course.” That truly was the case here.

I saw 'S' in the rating and knew we were in for some GOODNESS. I wish the gif library would work for the amazing gifs right after an ep. I'm sure tons have been made. But that'll have to wait till my in-depth ones this summer.

Been trying to keep these brief since their first impressions. But I couldn't with this one. They made it impossible lol Also apologies for any errors that may be in this. I wrote this while having a fever and on cold meds lol. Let us get started on this fabulous ep before my head implodes any further.

7x06 The Gala

We start out at Tim's place. Please let us continue to return here. It's such a happy place for me. Also Genny is backkkkkk I'm so excited. We have missed you my friend. I hope you appear again this season. Makes me so sad Tim saying he’s single. He’s never ever said that in a sad tone before Lucy or post anyone else really. Only her. *sad sigh* This ep hurts so good.

Genny has come with a mission in mind though. Only thing is she needs Tim for it. LOL I am glad she didn't imply he needed to start dating as well. She sure as hell knows where his heart lies. Their sibling dynamic never ceases to amuse me. Wanting to use him to get into the Gala haha Shoot your shot Genny. Get it girl.

Tim of course tries to talk her out of it. Clearly he had zero plans to be there. But his sister is changing that for him. Begrudgingly accepting her plus one offer. Citing he wants to bed asleep by 11pm if he does lmao I love this man. If he only knew where his night would end. Definitely wouldn't be that plan...Such a good big bro doing this for her. I need more of them in my life. I really do.

Seth is MIA and I'm pretty ok with it. Need a break from the kid. The day starts out so great. Grey has them running the arrest your ex event. I'm dying. When I saw this I thought phew lord this is gonna be gooooood. I felt it in my bones.

When Lucy says happy to do it…Tim’s face kills me. I’m dying. If only she could see his dismay. I know she could sense it. She isn't jazzed but isn't going to cause a scene in roll call. So she runs with it. Despite Tim's annoyance.

Tim giving her grief the very moment roll call is over. Lucy is ready with her reply. Had that on deck really quickly there Luce lol Almost as if she had it saved on her phone already....#grumpycop says what? LOL Let the flirting goodness begin. Being married af no matter what. I love them so much. *happy sigh*

Oh my goodness I’m cackling right off the bat. Grumpy x Sunshine in all its glory in this first scene. ‘Really can’t think of another reason?' I'm dying. Tim is so very over this and it's just begun for them. This is classic banter vibes for them and I’m here for it. Lucy trying to be the kind empathetic one. Tim having ZERO patience or tolerance for this nonsense. Letting her know right away he's not a killer. Just a cheater....Lucy's face. Classic.

Lucy calling Tim ‘sir’ and then showing him grumpy cop I cannot you guys. This is so good. I'm grinning ear to ear. Even post relationship she has this man wrapped around her finger. He is at her mercy and will do whatever for her. We see him give in. Turn on his best fake smile and dole out some advice. I'm so giddy I could cry.

‘Was that so hard?’ ‘Pure agony.’ Their banter at it's finest. This is primo level stuff. I wanna inject it into my veins so I always feel this giddy. The level of happy I am right now, I can’t even tell you. Hard to put into words honestly.

I’m loving Lucy keeping him in line and smiling while doing so. All she has to do is tap her phone. Could you be more in love with his grumpy ass my friend? She is very much enjoying this. We all know she loves her grumpy old man. I can’t get over Tim just listening cause she asks him to. Only for his girl. He is beyond fed up with this situation. Especially this man with his puke in a jar. LMAO.

Only Lucy Chen could make this man be friendly to this idiot. He then gets some points back and says they’re super cute together. Why yes sir they are. Thank you for noticing. Anyone with eyes can see their chemistry. But props for pointing it out. Then asks if they’re dating? We’re trying get back there my man. Climbing our hardest. Slow and steady wins the race and all that.

Lucy saying they're just 'co-workers'. Mmhmm and John Nolan is my favorite character. This dude has the audacity to ask her out after that. ‘You’re holding a jar of your own vomit. I’ll pass.’ If you aren't laughing at this I can't help you. This is pure comedy gold.

They finally get a real one. Just as they're about to close shop. This woman comes up very ready to take down her boyfriend. Then she hits on a VERY specific note. ‘You don’t put your drama on someone you love.’ Lucy’s face...That definitely struck a chord. Giving her flashbacks to 6x06. Tim too I am sure of it. Their looks say it all if you ask me...

Of course Tim wants to make it a bet. It's part of their love language to do so. I love this episode so much I’m vibrating. Lucy says his guess is boring LOL I mean it is. I love you Timothy but hers about legos is way better. Tim has to give her hard time about that being her final answer.

She ends up agreeing with him that it’s jewelry ha She just had to throw a Lucy like answer in there before she gave into his logic. Agreeing with him but wanting to add some flare before she did so. heh God I love these dorks.

Oh my. Tim asking her if she’s going tonight? I love the look he gives right before he asks. Just keeps taking his shots with her. My man. She got a room for Galentines but Celina has her dude now…..Frees up the room…. ‘So who knows what’s gonna happen?’ I’m percolating with excitement at this point. I didn't even need coffee as I wrote this to wake me up this morning. This was doing the trick just fine.

Lucy is surprised he is going. Then her anxiety asks the question she's scared to know the answer to. Does he have a date? His answer trails off before he can finish. Oh Timothy don’t do that to her. Leave her hanging. I mean he was gonna tell her it was Genny before he was interrupted. It wasn't intentional but ugh nonetheless.

Let’s take a moment to dissect her expression. Look how distressed and crushed she looks. My heart. So in love with this man still. This hurts so good. Before he can address her absolute panic their van pulls up….Oh Lucy. So distracted she doesn’t even hear him mention that.

Instead of jewelry it ends up being a friggin Tiger.... Her excitement is infectious and makes me smile. I would be the same way. I am Lucy she is me. Exotic animal that could rip my face off but I am still jazzed. Wanting to see it. Tim's face after she gets all excited is too funny. You love this goober of a woman don't deny it.

This scene is VERY VERY telling IMO. Also I am hoping a set up for things to come later this season for them. In terms of having THE talk. Tim your therapy hasn’t fully hit yet and it shows in how he reacts to this man's decision. At first he tries to empathize with him. Then turns his cop brain on. Saying he might as well throw her under the bus too. Get off a little easier. Telling him to just do it since she betrayed him anyways. That she's given up on him. No way he could still love her despite the betrayal...Careful Tim your trauma is showing my sweet.

Tim has grown in a lot of ways since 6x06. Truly he has. This is a sticking point he hasn't gotten through his lovely skull yet. That someone can love you despite the ugly stuff. Despite you not being perfect. Love you just the same and be deserving of that love even though you messed up. It's striking a emotional chord with Tim and he doesn't even realize it. Lucy can't stand it and that's why she tells this man not to do it. It's hitting far too close to home for her.

Lucy showing in this moment why we all love her. Why Tim is such a goner for her. That sunshine empathetic human shining through in this scene. Her forgiving spirit showing up in the most beautiful ways. It's the reason Tim fell so damn hard for her in first place. Why he fell in love all over again the second half of s6. The kindness and empathy shown towards him from her. When he thought he had betrayed her so deeply she would've thrown him to wolves.

What he hasn't figured out yet is she would NEVER ever do that. Regardless of the deep hurt, she stood by him when the chips were down. He still is a WIP in terms of that. it shows in his initial reaction to this situation. Lucy instructs this man despite the hurt not to do it. Tim's look reminding me of the one from 5x19 when she pleaded with her eyes to let the father go.

He ends up caving even if he adds some sass in. The way Tim looks at Lucy when he says 'Lock me up.' Looking at her smiling face. Oh Tim connect the dots my love please. If not now then in the near future. This scene gave me all the feels. We still have some work to do in terms of their relationship. Tim in particular.

Lucy’s relief at seeing Genny is written all over her face. You can see she is ecstatic she's Tim's 'Date.' Also just happy to see her in general. I have no doubt they hung out when they dated. Ganged up on Tim from time to time as well.

Genny forcing Tim to engage. Asking doesn't she look amazing? Tim melting like butter. ‘She always does.’ This man gushing about her in front of other people. This is the change I'm talking about right here. Gah I’m vibrating you guys legit vibrating. The sweet stares I'm diabetic at this point. Lucy can't hold his gaze long especially with company around.

Genny tries to lighten the mood with saying she is ready to flirt it up. Asking if Lucy wants to join her? Lucy’s shot about not dating people at work…Tim's cue to go to the bar. lmao I’m dying this is fanfic level goodness here everyone. I’m delirious. Genny's face is everything after he leaves. Even Celina's date realizes it after they depart. Asking something going on between them? Yes sir. it's been brewing all damn day.

Lucy coming to Tim worried about Balian is sweet. But Tim gives it all of two seconds of thought before he's pining after her. I mean look at those heart eyes. That smile. One I'm sure he flashed her anytime they were alone at home. The man is an absolute marshmallow for her. Lucy calls Tim out for his extreme heart eyes and Lucy smile. Holy cow is this real life?

She knows that smile so very well. You can’t look at her like that, Timothy. Especially looking like a damn snack leaning against that bar. It’s not fair. She has every right to tell you to stop devouring her with your eyes babe. There is a little bit of Tim Bradford Bedroom eyes in that stare too. Mercy. I would be a damn puddle if I was her. Why she has to call him out for it. Basically saying he can't stare at her like that anymore.

It's not fair to her heart to look at her like he loves her. *heart clutch* He then turns around and flirts some more with the grumpy cop thing. Making her laugh with him being the biggest goober ever. I love this side she brought to life. Their smiles as Genny approaches make me squee. I'm nuclear with excitement at this point. He really has softened for her it’s unreal. Making her laugh makes my heart so happy. I can't even. Had to pinch myself to make sure it was real.

Poor Genny can’t get a date cause of Tim. Lmfao I mean we can’t be that surprised? Still that’s hilarious and I’m laughing so hard. She just wanted to get a date and they're all too frightened of Tim to do so. He seems pretty proud of that fact. Cocky Tim coming out to play a bit. This ep has everything. The cute shared look afterwards is very cute.

If we didn't know they were apart you'd think they were together. Lucy turning down the invite out after Tim’s little joke. Stating it's because of an early shift. That doesn't seem to stop you later....Not that I'm complaining. Lucy is about to lose out on her room with Celina hitting it off with Scott...But Nolan’s suite becomes available…..I’m fine letting them rise out of the ashes of Balian's fight right now I really am. Sorry Balian shippers. lol

Just when I think this ep couldn't get any better. We get a sexy Tim takedown. *fans self* Not gonna lie I crossed my legs a bit when I saw this go down. *grabs some ice water.* This episode was gonna kill me before we even got. to that hotel room. Ovary explosion x1000. It's hard to keep Feral Caitlin in her cage with scene like this. Hot damn this is attractive. Lucy touching him instantly after he is done. I'm here for it.

Only reason for this gif is what's going on in the background. Look at Lucy jumping into wife mode taking care of Tim immediately. The attentiveness right out the gate has me reeling. Taking his jacket off for him. Checking him out. I’m lightheaded with happiness. I hope you are as well. I was on cloud 9 at this point and we hadn't even gotten to the hotel room yet.

We get to watch Lucy go into worried wifey mode and never leave it. The sweet way she touches his neck. I'm dead. I am posting from he grave. Lucy lets him know he has a cut there. Luckily Tim has a room they can go to.... Thank you Nolan. He tries to handle it himself but she isn't having it. So she comes up with him… I was getting all tingly with anticipation at this point.

Lucy has Tim take his shirt off make sure there’s no more glass or cuts. Mmmm won’t hear me complaining…. Was kinda relived the kit was there waiting for them. No chance for interruption if it wasn't. I honestly thought it would be the thing to stop them.

Mmmm shirtless Tim. Welcome back to my screen. Yum. God he’s gorgeous. Her resolve was crumbling when he had clothes on. Now he has no shirt….. God speed Lucy Chen lol

Heh calling Tim tough guy oh my word. The banter never stops and I don't want it to. The little joke of unfortunately he will live. Followed by his smile *screams into a pillow* I'm in heaven. The flirt train is continuing to barrel through this episode at mach speed.

My god it’s the soft thanks and you’re welcome in tandem. I’m a puddle. Suddenly he is all in her space and her words die out. She tries to replace them with a shaky ' We shouldn't....' The longing looks I cannot. Before it was bedroom eyes at the bar, with some heart eyes mixed in. This time it’s legit all heart eyes with intense longing he’s aiming at her.

He misses her deeply, and it's evident in the sadness that fills his expression when she says they shouldn't. Gah. Take a look at him after he says 'I know.' The depth of longing he conveys through just his eyes is truly unreal. Any resolve she has left looking up at him with those puppy dog eyes crumbles below.

The way he just tosses his shirt and devours her completely has me reeling. Nothing matters more in this moment than her. He gently envelops her in his arms. The soft way he cradles her face in his hands, like she is his greatest treasure. Because she is. The way he chases after her lips. I’m a damn goner. Feel like I'm in a fever dream.

Captures her top lip like he's done so many times before. Giving me 5x12 vibes with this make out. Lucy's hands all over him in the process. Touching her way down his body. Phew lord. Also like to note I think it's very important Lucy be the one to go for it in this scenario. He would’ve stepped back because she said they shouldn’t. Respected her bounds. But she can’t fight it any longer and goes for it.

And holy cow does she ever go for it. The impatient needy noises coming from her I’m dying. The desperations is real. The moment her lips meet his and her fingers graze his skin, she’s completely defeated in her struggle to resist him. Resist this pull of their's. Wastes no damn time undoing his belt buckle sweet lord. You can hear it. She is ready to go. As is Tim. She has lit a flame and he isn’t wasting a second of it. The needy desperation has me fanning myself.

I love the way he spins her around, savoring her with tender affection. All the while he relieves Lucy of the tie on her dress.*fans self* He is just burying himself in his hair and neck. Losing himself completely in her. I might implode with how tender and sexy this is. The music is on point as always. Tim is chasing after her when she turns around and brings him back to the bed. His desperation coming through ten fold.

Doesn't waste a millisecond before he's diving back in for more when she turns around. Lucy’s face. Holy hell. You can see how much she missed this. Missed him. They’re in it now and she can’t stop herself. There’s still some conflict playing across her features. Knowing they shouldn’t and yet she can’t stop herself from wanting this man. She is conflicted then his lips rejoin her neck and she melts into him. All logic flies out the window after that.

There is a song from one of my fav bands Digital Daggers. From their song ‘In flames.' This moment reflects it IMO.

'Keep your confessions 'Cause babe I'm no saint , We're playing with fire But I like this game And I know your devils I know them by name When you look my way Oh, I'm not afraid With your kiss on my skin And this mess that we're in

In flames (we're going down, we're going down, we're going down) '

Definitely playing with fire in this moment and we're here for it.

We get the morning after. I was not expecting this in the least. But this episode continues to surprise me in the best way. Also hello chest hair on Tim. They need to leave that for future reference. I’m very much for it. Holy cow everything about him just makes me so damn feral it's insane. He is sex on two legs walking. Man he looks good.

The awkward looks upon waking up have me cackling. Tim's face when she starts to get up LMAO. Eric the king of expressions came to play. Tim breaking the awkward tension by saying he's awake. Lucy replying 'Right. Of course he is. He's like a rooster she remembers.... 'Ugh my heart.

I love Tim being the one to wanna talk this out. Again. He's gotta be the one to bridge the gap. Especially this go around. Not wanting this moment to pass by without suggesting it. Lucy of course even with her lapse in resolve isn’t sure why they would. She is still hurting and with good reason. Tim you gotta make this right babe. Oh my lord.

We see Lucy retreat at this offer of a talk. Passing it off as 'Classic case of ex sex on Valentines.' Oh it’s so much more than that my girl. I'm getting 5x01 flashbacks of ‘It's basic biology right?’ Lucy trying to have Tim give her the out of talking about this just like she did then. Pass it off as something that isn't a big deal when it is.

Tim shies away due to this. Agreeing with her ex sex theory although his body language does not in the least. Hoping he can at least hide his disappointment if he turns around. Feeding her a line about it being a singular moment in time. Mmhmm...Sure. Lucy agreeing with his BS line.

That fear running through her and needing a way out to avoid this conversation. So she runs with it. Trying to talk herself out of it more by saying it needs to be in their rear view. Never to be talked about again. Tim's defeated and slightly hurt 'Great...' Lucy can sense it. You two are idiots but I love you.

Gah, you can watch the internal battle on Tim's face. Reminds me of 5x01 once again and him psyching himself up to talk. We get our first ‘Lucy.’ of the season. Definitely was not where I expected it to be. Sadly after he builds up the courage he just says 'See you at the station'…*forehead smack* Oh you two. Killing me softly. She wanted him to go for it and he didn’t. Disappointment just littered all over her body language when he doesn't.

Lucy looking like she wants to go back in but the door closes. UGHHHH. Effectively making the decision for her. It is a good she wanted to go back but this is Tim's fight ya'll. And he knows it. He's so frustrated with himself for not fighting more for her in this moment. Lord this is good but killing me. Hurts so good never felt more prevalent than it does in this scene.

Tim ever the gentlemen having her enter first. His chivalry never ceases to make me happy. The energy in that elevator is charged to say the least. So Lucy straight up says she didn’t regret their night together. I love this. Letting him know she has zero regrets about jumping him last night. Heh Tim replying right back saying him either. These two idiots in love. What am I going to do with you?

Lucy adding in it it can’t happen again. Ok sure…..you both messy. And I’m not mad about it. Tim's sad 'I know.' Not agreeing it can't ever happen again. Just he knows it shouldn't...Lucy following that up with it can't for a million reasons. I mean they haven’t had THE talk yet so I get it. I truly do.

That's definitely one of the reasons for me. As fun as that lapse in judgement was, it still needs to be followed up with a real convo. Tim coming up with his own reason of the Chain of Command issue. *Grumble* he is back in her chain of command again even with being her being a T.O. Le sigh. Even though their tones suggest they could give a single fuck that he is this time around lol That definitely wouldn't keep them for repeating the night before is my guess.

The flirting my god though. Tim using grumpy cop again to make her smile and laugh. We all know she loves his grumpy ass. It's one of the things she truly loves about him. That smile after he says that tells me everything. That most definitely is on the list of BS reasons for why they shouldn't. Tim keeping the flirt train going by saying he wasn’t grumpy last night though. Heh no you were not.

Her face my god you two. ‘No, you definitely were not.’ No transparency at all saying how happy he was last night with her. She doesn’t stop him either knowing she wasn’t 'grumpy' either. They're not even trying at this point. Basically saying they had a great night in bed together. No regrets. One of their many things they're so good at hehe. Imma need a fic of that night LOL The flirty smiles and stares. Tim almost reels her back in with it. The ding of the elevator breaking them out of their UST filled revere.

Lucy trying to keep it together as she exits. Tim hot on her heels. Ooooh lord I’m excited to see where this goes. Tim you still have some work to do. That much is clear. I'm glad them hooking up didn't serve as a fix all. Because this SL deserves more than that. They deserves more than that. The promo for 7x07 ‘Don’t make the same mistake I made with Lucy. Fight for her.’ Um sir you need to fight for Lucy right now. She is waiting on you for it.

I hope this Balian crisis puts that into focus for Tim. Because if this ep proved anything it's that. He needs to fight for her more and prove to her why she should give them a second chance. The feelings are clearly still there. So much so she relapsed into her resistance to keep him at bay. Hot damn this was a good episode I am buzzing. I cannot wait to see what the rest of this season holds for them. Gimme Gimme.

Thank you thank you to anyone and everyone who loves, comments (love me some comments) and reblogs these. They are a true joy for me to make. So I am grateful for any and all engagement with them. I shall see you all in 7x07 :)

Side notes-Non Chenford

#grumpycop. Only cause it’s Vday and he has no Lucy. Also anniversary of the necklace…amazing though. Fantastic cold open.

Wes is too excited for that he’s tipping his hand. Glad Angela figured it out without Wes compromising his lawyer oath. Using that dude to get her stuff done LMAO.

Look at Celina just taking charge cause Nolan is distracted af at a scene. Proud of her. Scott dude seems tad needy don't love that.

Sad about Texas and his girl but realistic af. Appreciated that.

Bailey being pissed about the judgement. Can't say I blame her. I mean instead of understanding John jumped right to judgement but he is also right in being upset she didnt' share that with him. Shall see where that goes.

[kingkat12]

so... this is the deleted original ending to the first chapter of seven minutes in heaven. made centuries ago. enjoy!!

(it sorta starts in the middle of the closet scene, so here goes nothing)

WARNINGS: SMUT! SMUT! ROMAN BEING AN ASSHOLE! mind control powers being used for BAD bad bad BAD things!! implied mind control during sex so is it dub-con?, dark!Roman, not-so-happy-ending

word count: 1,811

a/n: there was a reason this version was scrapped... it felt too dark and not fun and urgh i'm simply posting this as an ancient artifact lol. it might suck as i wrote this back in august, but oh well!!!

(Roman is NOT a feminist in this one, so... irony<333 generalizing cunt)

 "And I reckon this is your first time playing?"

"Yeah," I mumbled, no longer meeting his gaze. I couldn't look at him, not right not, not when we were this close and alone. 

"So..." Roman ran his fingers through his hair, the usual smirk returning. "You know what usually happens in here, or...?"

I rolled my eyes; "I'm not an idiot,"

"I know," Roman's voice got lower, breathier, and he took a step closer. There wasn't much room for more steps, actually— it was getting rather cramped up at this point. "But if there's anything you've wanted to try out, now's the time."

My breath hitched, hoping the thumping of my heart wasn't audible to him. 

It was almost as though Roman could sense how nervous I was; he bent down a little, getting on my level before he whispered; "I won't tell Letha,"

Feeling his hot breath against my skin, how dangerously close he was, was almost too much for me. The way he said it made me even more conscious of what was happening; I hadn't even told Letha how crazy I was about Roman, and I knew she'd be against it.

However... I was being served my biggest dream on a platter. Maybe if I got this bit over with, my feelings would subside and go back to being purely hateful again? 

I mustered up the courage, letting out a shaky breath before I opened my mouth to speak; "Could you maybe... kiss me?" My words came out barely louder than a whisper. "I've just had a really shitty night."

Roman's expression remained unchanged. "I'm sorry to hear that,"

"... No, you're not,"

"Okay, you might be right," He let out a soft laugh against my lips, and my eyes quickly darted down to his hands to check if he wasn't holding a needle or no. That was when I knew my anxiety was through the roof. "So... you want a kiss? That's all?"

This was too nerve-wracking. I kept imagining that he would say no, that he would reject me somehow and make me the only girl at school he wouldn't want to do anything with— that would definitely make me hate him even more. In a flash moment of weakness (which I later blamed the alcohol for), I sighed; "Just... could you? Or am I asking for too much?"

Something about Roman's expression changed— he seemed to realize what it was that I was actually asking of him. Not to make out, not to drown in one another, but the simplest of all things romance; affection. Something gentle, something sweet, just to check if he had a sliver of anything resembling that in his system. 

"You like me, don't you?" Roman whispered, nudging his nose against mine, eyes rounding out as he heard my breath hitch at the simple gesture. "This is what all of this has been about?"

I closed my eyes, revelling in the feeling. It was the smallest thing, yet it was a comfort in the midst of the conversation. "All of what?"

"Your anger," Roman let out a sigh, connecting our foreheads, closing his eyes as well. "You can't stand that you like me, can you?"

For some reason, I felt the urge to cry overcome me— I spent a few seconds pressing down the stream of tears that threatened to surface. Having someone say it out loud felt like a desperately needed release. "It's been a nightmare,"

Roman stilled, eventually letting out a hum which sent a shiver down my spine. "You know nothing about nightmares," he breathed against my lips. "If I tell Letha we fucked in here, you'll be living through your worst one."

I shouldn't have been so shocked— I should've expected this. I should've known that Roman would spin this around on me. I definitely knew he wouldn't reciprocate, but this? What was it, revenge? 

"I could make your every waking moment a living hell," he continued, his cold hands suddenly travelling up my body, gripping my waist with a grip I was afraid would bruise. "Letha would take my side, of course... Who else do you have but her, hm?"

I wanted to break out into tears, now grabbing at his hands. Almost panicked, I tried to get him off of me, but to no avail. "I'll leave you alone," I pleaded, finding his eyes.

"Nah, that's not what I want," I could see the sadistic satisfaction overcome him— I saw how he broke out into a wide grin at the sight of my glossy eyes. "How about we make a deal?"

Making a deal with the devil reincarnated? Very smart move, on my part. Fucking genius. "Okay?"

Roman hummed, his harsh grip around my waist releasing, allowing me to finally suck in a heave of air. Catching me off guard, he suddenly pressed his lips against my forehead with the softest touch I had ever felt— was he trying to throw me off course? 

"Start being nice..." Roman murmured, his now hands drawing soothing circles onto my back. "And I will reward you."

I let out a shaky breath; I was thankful that the agreement didn't involve any needles. "... That's all?"

"That's all," Roman echoed, pulling away to watch my expression. "You and your mouth have been making my life hell, do you know that? So if you can calm the fuck down, we could both get what we want. How does that sounds?"

I wasn't completely sold. "And what is it that you think I want?"

Roman's eyes darkened; he knew he had won. "Me," 

Oh, how I hated him. I hated him, and I knew I always would. But as his lips ghosted over mine, seconds away from touching, I didn't stand a chance anymore when the following words sounded past his plush lips; "I have a feeling I might have to put you in your place a little, hm? Maybe you'd even want that? Because honestly, I know girls like you... You fight until your last breath, then you're completely in denial, and then you'll fall apart the minute you get what you've always wanted,"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was this... me? 

"And you've always wanted to be one of my girls, haven't you?" Roman leaned down, pressing a deadly soft kiss against my cheek which nearly took my breath away; I could feel him smirk against my skin. "Or maybe... the only one?"

At this point, I felt so broken down that I gave in to a nod. 

Roman's hand slowly ghosted up my body until his fingers gently wrapped around my neck, holding me in place, almost as though he feared I would run; "I can arrange that, y'know?"

This conversation had unlocked a deep, dark part of me that I didn't know I had— like this, completely at his mercy, I had a feeling I was made to be his. Brainwashed. That I was put on this earth to find him and be with him, and that we were destined to be together. It made me feel so weak and pathetic that my lower lip eventually gave in to a quiver, feeling a sob build.

Roman let go of my neck, stroking his fingers through my hair. "Shh, no need for that... You're fine, you're okay. It's just me."

Just me. Just Roman. He who that had haunted my dreams for months, the only one I could think of when I got myself off, and the one I had been longing for from afar for so long that it turned into burning hate. 

Roman must've felt like he was done torturing me, finally meeting my lips with the most gentle kiss I had ever shared. This was all I had ever wanted— he was right. My heart beat hard in my chest as I let myself melt against his dangerously soft lips. 

I wanted to be his, no matter the cost. No matter what happened or what I had to sacrifice. 

I loved Roman Godfrey.

... and I was sure of it now.

｡ﾟ•┈୨♡୧┈• ｡ﾟ

Yes— This was right.

Of course. 

I loved him. 

I loved him, I loved him, God, how I loved him. With every fibre of my being, I loved him. 

I loved the feeling of his body against mine, corrupting my mind until I was nothing but mindless. A small part of me also loved that it was our little secret, and ours only. 

Letha didn't have a clue, of course— I had kept my act up quite well when I was around her. I had kept it up around everyone else as well, but the anger that was ravaging through my system, the hate that was burning me up from inside was currently being mended by one thing and one thing only;

"A-Aah—"

My fingers tangled into Roman's hair, feeling his bruising grip around my hips tighten as he fucked me into my mattress. I let out a small cry, feeling my legs starting to go numb after how long they had been thrown over his broad shoulders. Deep down, I didn't care— nothing could put out the angry fire in my soul like Roman did. Nothing was a better remedy than feeling his cock inside me, no matter what, when, or where.

I let out a gasp as Roman shifted, pulling me into his lap with ease. I couldn't feel my legs now, and I had a sense that he knew— he barely had to put any strength into moving me around, especially with how he was towering over me in general. 

I let out a gasp as he sunk me down on his length, and I gripped his shoulders with a short squeak for support. Heavy breaths escaped my parted lips as I clung to him, whimpering at the feeling of his thick cock stroking my insides. 

Roman seemed beyond content, gazing up at me with half-lidded eyes. He revelled in the sight of how ruined I was before he attached his soft lips to my collarbone to bring forth a hickey, humming. That was the one place we both knew Letha wouldn't see it, after all. 

It was impossible not to submit to the devil reincarnated when sex could feel this good with him. It didn't matter that I had practically sold my soul for this, because every second, every stroke of his cock, was worth it. 

"You're heaven," he murmured, lifting my hips and pushing himself further into me, taking more control. "You feel so... shit, this is heaven—"

Ironic.

And just as I felt my climax approaching, flashes of thoughts I had suppressed came crashing forward. No matter how nice all of this felt, I couldn't help but wonder how I had even agreed to any of this in the first place. But it wasn't like he had mind control powers, right? It wasn't like this was some sadistic ploy to seek revenge against all the times I had been a complete and utter bitch to him.

No— it couldn't be. Don't be ridiculous.

... Right?

[erinwantstowrite]

Let me just quickly say, cross-overs can sometimes get REALLY difficult to map out and write in a cohesive way but you have absolutely NAILED IT!! I absolutely ADORE LoF!!! I usually don’t even bother reading fics with the ‘Richard Grayson is Richard Parker’ premise cause I felt like they were super confusing and overcomplicated but this fic?? SUPERB. ABSOLUTELY INCREDIBLE. OH MY GOD I ADORE IT. Everyone’s characterizations are so nice and wonderful aaaaaaah!!!! <33333

Ok ok I did actually have a question as well: would you be willing to share what your writing process looks like in terms of a chapter you’ve already posted? I was just wondering since I’m also currently working on my own fic (it’s been a few years but I managed to get fixated on an idea and it grew legs lol) and I’m currently fighting the organization of it haha.

How do you keep track of the plot points and/or foreshadowing you want to get a ‘lightbulb!’ moment for later? Do you have any tips?

Thank you so much! I absolutely adore your writing AND your art is so gorgeous omg it adds so much to the incredible story :DDD I hope you have a good day!!

I have a secret: I actually didn't like "Richard Grayson is Richard Parker' tag for a while for the same reason. Sometimes they felt like they missed the mark or it's just. A thing that's there? I almost didn't include it for LoF, but I'm glad I did because it changed the direction in such a big way.

Another secret: this made me incredibly happy because I have read so many wikis and scoured the internet to make sure that I had enough info on both fandoms so LoF could make sense to anyone who's reading it, whether they know Spider-Man, Batfam, or neither at all. Sometimes I worry a lot before I post that I'll miss a mark and will confuse people.

As for the question: I definitely am willing to share what my writing process looks like!

Be prepared for under the cut, I love to yap. It's in my blood to yap. And that's why it took a minute to get to this ask haha

(Spoilers for Leap of Faith!! Everything mentioned has already been published ((Chapters 1-11))

I had to go and find out which chapter I wanted to use as an example and I think we're gonna go with Chapter 5 for the most part :)

My writing process is, as described by alighterwood:

I think the description fits because while I'm all over the place, I have to be very detail oriented and I store everything in one spot.

Starting with the overall process, what I find is most helpful for me, when organizing, is having a notebook rather than doing it all digitally. I've been using a 70 sheet notebook that I had lying around waiting to be used, and as of yesterday, I officially filled the entire thing front to back. It's been an incredible help, for a lot of reasons, but mostly because it's a lot easier to remember something I physically wrote down than it is to remember something I typed. I'm now on to my second notebook for LoF, and I might even have to get a third.

In another ask, startupkat asked me this:

And I shared a little about my outline process there, but I'll try to go into a little more depth here. Emphasis on little because this is so long.

I write a truly insane amount of outlines in this notebook.

This is just what I can show you, but a good chunk of the notebook is just outlines. Over and over and over again. That's because they're always changing/adapting based on so many different factors. Sometimes I get to a chapter I thought I had fully planned out and then realize it just doesn't work anymore. Other times, I get to the chapter and realize I don't want to write that anymore/isn't as interesting as I thought it would be. A few times I got halfway through a POV of a scene I was struggling on and decided to switch POV's, which will change up the outline for a chapter every now and then.

Which is why I don't write incredibly detailed outlines and try to keep it vague until I actually get to that chapter. It's a lot less daunting to rewrite a chapter outline than it is to rewrite the entire outline.

Fic outlines and Chapter outlines look a lot alike.

This is what I said in the other ask, but I didn't elaborate on it all the way.

I make a list just like that, and then I try to put it in chronological order/in an order that makes sense. I keep the Fic outline vague by writing down "Goals" for a chapter rather than scenes. But I also keep notes to myself if I really think something is important. The more important I think a scene needs to be, the more details I write down to make sure my future self recalls what I had in mind when I thought it up.

Really simple example:

Chap 1 Goal: Peter gets to Gotham and meets Babs while running around. Meet Nightwing too? Get shelter.

Chapter 2 Goal: Bats are like "???" about Peter. Batfam dynamic important... Peter stalking Batfam back? Peter meet Batman >:)

When I get to a chapter, that's when I make a far more detailed list of wants/needs/goals. It's the Step 2 from the Step 1. Here are some examples from Chapter 5:

Needed to have:

More POV's from universe 1299 (Peter's home universe)

Tony's POV more specifically, how he's doing/feeling, what he's figured out

What they've figured out on 1299 side vs what's going on in 1300 (Gotham)

Explaining more about Peter's trauma/his past

Dick learning more about Peter, and vise versa

Wanted to have:

Ned being a more central character

Natasha :)

Loki being a little shit

Tony and Cap bickering

Peter talking to Nightwing again

The last name Grayson

Gymnastics!!

(This is the shortened list, because the chapters are so long)

When I looked at this list before writing my outline, I had to figure out how I could incorporate everything. If I needed more 1299 POV's, and I wanted Ned, Natasha, and Loki, there's one scene accounted for. I had to get their side of things and wanted that trio together. I needed a Tony POV, and I wanted Tony and Cap bickering, so those went together, plus I got 1299's POV of Ohnn and his plans explained.

I needed to have Peter explaining more about his trauma, and Dick and Peter to talk/get closer. I wanted a Nightwing POV, to have Peter say his last name, and them doing gymnastics. I knew Peter wouldn't willingly talk about that, so I had him have a nightmare. Not only did it give readers perspective but it made Peter more susceptible to talking to Nightwing because he was more emotionally vulnerable/lonely, and that's how that scene came together.

That's when I would write down the chronological order of these events by writing out "Scene Blocks." (This is what I wrote down but my handwriting was so bad I can't subject y'all to it):

scene 1- Ned talking to Loki. Natasha should be nearby and observing Loki's behavior. They are not on friendly terms. Ned is more worried about Peter than he is as to what Loki could be up to, so Natasha takes on that role.

scene 2- Tony is freaking out about Peter being in an alt dimension. He should attack Ohnn when he's not prepared for it. Beat his ass? Beat his ass. Cap there too.

scene 3- Peter's nightmare. "Ben, where do you go when you die?" "Where do you think?" "With you. Where you went."

scene 4- Nightwing and Peter.

Of course, things come to attention when writing. Like originally, Tony and Cap were arguing in the Tower. But it was a little too much like his and Natasha's argument, and I kept in mind that Tony is smart. Sometimes I forget that the characters are smarter than I am, so I have to account for what they would figure out. So Tony would have picked up the puzzle pieces and come to more conclusions than I originally thought about, and I figured he'd be way more proactive about it than just. Being in the Tower and waiting.

Which means that that scene ended up being as listed above: having a squabble with Cap, learning more about Peter's dynamic with the Avengers in this universe, and seeing how Tony is reacting to it by throwing himself head first into trying to capture Ohnn.

I'll realize I need something else to be mentioned or put in and I'll have to shimmy things around, but that's basically how it goes.

As for other forms of organization:

Keeping a timeline is so important because it tells you a lot about the environment your characters are in. It's also important to remember what a character has on them, what money they've spent, who they've met/who you have mentioned, every alias that is being used, to read your work and write down edits you want to make before you make them, to write down ideas beforehand of situations you can use, and, most importantly: MAKE A MAP!! This has saved me so many times. Sometimes your brain WILL trick you or make it harder on you to envision a scene. Make a map of where your characters are physically!! It will save you too!!

As for foreshadowing and plot points, I'll let you in on yet another secret:

Your subconscious is doing a lot more than you think it is.

Sometimes when I foreshadow something, I didn't even know I was until I got to it. I very often go back to read chapters that came before this to see what I've mentioned and what I haven't, and when I do, I'll see something and go "I have to bring this back" or "I almost forgot about that!"

Other times, I am very aware of what I'm foreshadowing, and that's because I follow a mystery plot formula. You have to keep in mind everyone's intentions, all the time. How are they feeling? What are their motivations? And: what are they doing right now, while this character is doing this?

Like Beck and Ohnn. From the very beginning, I knew I had to make sure that it was obvious Ohnn wasn't working alone. From there, I had to weave through the story and slowly build him up as someone who's working behind the scenes. Even from Ned's first POV, I made sure to mention that this person knows Tony and is tech savvy.

My biggest tip is to make sure you reread your work or at least skip through it, because sometimes you don't even know that you placed something there.

And sometimes, it's very purposeful. :)

I hope this helped! I really tried to keep it short but I am insane and the process is sooooo long. It sounds complicated but it really is simple when you're actually doing it I swear