#i really have to get my act together to organize information so then i can go out and expand on things ^^'

[bigfan-fanfic]

The Science of a Good Outfit (Male!Reader x Jayce Talis)

An assistant.

Jayce has never had one of those before. Not for something so... unscientific.

But Mel had offered to put him in touch with someone, and he had been loathe to refuse such a kind gesture.

So now you are assistant to the Man of Progress, organizing his social engagements and business meetings.

He frowns softly as he sees you waiting outside the lab.

"Oh, no."

You chuckle sympathetically. "You need to make an appearance at House Tariost's gala."

"Didn't they just have one?" he asks weakly.

"That was two months ago. You've been in the lab a LOT lately." you inform him, smirking at the poor man's excuses.

He sighs. "You'll be there?"

"Of course, Jayce." you say softly, getting another little thrill from how he seeks your stability, wants to depend on you.

He gives a little sigh of relief, and you almost find it cute how he doesn't even take you for granted.

If Councilor Medarda can't attend, you act as attache for Jayce, helping him remember names, charm and make deals, and maintain alliances.

But he's become close enough to you that he shares his genuine toothy smiles and stupid jokes with you that would look too unprofessional in front of the Councilors or even Mel.

You smile and wave at Viktor as the door closes. Like usual, he barely notices, still engrossed in their project, the next wave of Hextech.

You lead him to the apartments he's secured for himself - no more relying on the Kirramans to house him in some swanky top-floor of some street-level building, he's now in the towers themselves, near his lab.

"I've already got your clothes together." you mention offhandedly, and he chuckles.

"What, Mel thinks I can't pick out my own outfit?" he jokes, a little weariness creeping into his voice.

You chuckle and help him out of the overcoat he wears. "I think Councilor Medarda has a high amount of faith in you."

"Just not enough to let me wear something normal?"

You laugh. "Normal? Like your lab clothes?"

"Yeah. Imagine me, rubbing sooty elbows with the upper crust."

"That would be a sight. Hoskel would probably have some kind of attack."

You laugh, but it dies as Jayce removes his shirt and walks into the bathroom. His own chuckles disguise the silence.

You clear your throat and hand him the silky black shirt you had set out for him, trying not to stare at his well-formed muscles.

He sighs at the suit you have laundered and pressed. "Tell me, why does it matter this much which suit I wear?"

"Clothes make the man, Jayce." you respond softly. "In each thread are a hundred little details that can mean the difference between Hextech's success or failure. The success or failure of everyone involved."

He raises an eyebrow skeptically, and you help tie the vibrant red tie while he buttons the shirt. "Color, style - these indicate allegiances. Too similar, if you copy someone, it's a subtle attack. Complement, don't copy."

Next comes the vest and jacket, crisp and white. "Clothes, cut the right way, obscure anything out of the norm - it helps you depersonalize yourself. Others stop viewing you as what you are and start to see what you represent."

You help him apply the decorative red leather pauldrons. "Ornamentation can intimidate, add broadness and strength, exaggerate your silhouette. When dealing with these people, it's suggestion and innuendo that matter, a game where theoretically anyone can make a move at any time, but the implication is more effective."

He still doesn't seem convinced, and you turn him in the mirror. The vest corrects the slight slouch in his posture, making him stand tall. The pauldrons broaden and sharpen his stature, making him appear perfectly muscular rather than bulky. The suit jacket enhances the effect with its cut, making his waist appear more narrow.

"Wow. You've really got this down to a science, huh?"

You chuckle and pat his shoulder. "It helps having such a good baseline. You'd look good in anything."

"Ah, so it doesn't matter what I wear!" he teases.

You laugh. "I got you a present."

He suddenly clams up. "You... you did?"

You nod and grab a small lacquered box from your satchel. He opens it, revealing the T-shaped hammer crest of House Talis.

"This is..."

"A tie pin." You explain, helping him put it on. "It may not have been recommended by Councilor Medarda, but... I thought you'd like it."

He grins his toothy grin at you and wraps his arms around you.

You balk for just a moment, afraid to rumple his clothes, but you sink into the warmth and comfort, leaning into the hug.

"I love it. I... thank you, Y/N."

"Anytime, Jayce."

[hardware-sparks]

Uhhh your pinned post says tell me about things so… I wish we talked about Colon being Dutch more often, it isn’t an important part of his character but it means something to me. Like, Van Helsing (Dracula Famed Vampire Hunter) is ALSO Dutch, and there’s a lot we could do with them possibly being connected. There’s also a lot more cultural differences between the Netherlands and England/America, like, the Dutch swear with disease names and they’re way more comfortable with topics English and American people usually aren’t. Also, every European from a country known for its cheese I have ever met has something to say about American cheese and it’s never good ^^;

Idk, I know it isn’t that important to mention these things,, but it’s also a fun character aspect, and I think it’s neat and wanna do more things with it!

(Toast and Colon bickering during Eurovision…)

I think cultural background is also an important part of characterization! It affects how you speak, think, and dress. Also gives him more words to use because otherwise everyone sounds... too American.

[inlovewithquestionablecharacters]

Will Graham X Reader: Nightcap

Summary: Will needs a little help going to sleep after a nightmare.

Warnings: not proof read, smut, cowgirl, oral (f & m receiving), penetration ( p in v), pet names (baby), cursing, nightmares, cum eating, no use of y/n.

Word count: 1,8 K

He’s sweating through his sheets.

Even in his hazy state he can feel the cold sweat that covers his body. He tries to wake himself up but his body refuses. He’s staring at the stag before him. The animal itself isn't threatening. It's the feelings that come with it that cause Will to shake in bed. He feels something grab onto his shoulder and turns to look at what was touching him. His eyes find you, your mouth is open wide as if you were screaming but no sound comes out. He calls out your name just as his body sinks into the ground. 

Will snapped up from his bed, his heart hammering in his chest. His wet clothes cling to his body uncomfortably. He’s been in this situation before, the only difference is that this time he’s not alone. You're here with him. He feels bad for waking you up but he's glad he’s not alone. The palm of your hand warms his arm, causing him to stare at it. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah. Nightmares.”

“Are they always that bad?”

Will stops staring at your hand on him opting to look at your face. You're looking at him like a wounded animal and he hates it. But he supposes it's better than looking at him like he’s crazy.

“Not always but yeah most of them are…”

“Intense?”

“That's a word for it.”

Of course the only night he has someone sleep over he has one of the worst nightmares he’s had in months. He must have been quite loud for you to be able to hear him from another room.

“Sorry for waking you.”

“You didn’t. I couldn’t sleep. I was on my way to get a cup of water when I heard you. You sounded scared so I thought maybe I should check on you.”

Your relationship with Will was odd. You weren’t exactly friends but you weren’t just coworkers either. You’d been helping him organize information for his next class and hadn’t realized how late it had gotten. Will hated the thought of you driving in the dark because of him so he offered you a place to crash.

It was the first time you’d truly seen Will. You helped him cook dinner and the two of you had shared a bottle of wine. You talked until your eyes started to feel heavy. Will showed you to your bed and bid you goodnight. It all felt very intimate. You weren’t sleeping in his bed but this was the closest you’d been to each other outside of work. Will didn’t really know how to behave around you. He’d flush when you said anything remotely flirty to him and he would often find himself observing you as you worked. He was fascinated by you but instead of telling you that he bottled his desire deep inside himself. 

“Do you have more sheets?”

“Yeah in the closet.”

You moved over to the closet, searching for a fresh set of sheets. Will rose from the bed beginning to tug on the soaked sheets. He bundled the fabric in his hands before throwing it into the hamper. You made your way to him, handing him the clean sheets. The two of you worked together making the bed quickly. You pat Will's pillow lightly before moving away from the bed. 

“There. Good as new!”

“Thank you.”

“Don’t mention it.”

Silence fell over the room. You started at the bed wondering if anyone had ever had the pleasure of sharing the space with Will. Will watched you deep in thought. He used the opportunity to observe you. Your body was covered by one of his shirts. It was an old piece of clothing, worn down by time but you made it work. An overwhelming need to move closer towards you consumed him all of a sudden. He decided to act on it. He inched himself towards you slowly, not wanting to break your train of thought.

You didn’t notice him move. When you turned to look at him, expecting him to still be far from you, you bumped into him accidentally. The palms of your hands came in contact with his chest. Will looked down at where your body touched his. Before he could do anything you pulled away, creating some distance between you two. You let out a small laugh, stuttering a bit as you spoke.

“I’m gonna get out of your hair. Goodnight.”

You spun on your heels rolling your eyes at yourself. How could such a small amount of contact flustered you so much? Will reached out to you, his hand grabbing onto your arm. You felt the tug on your arm making you stop and turn. 

“Stay.”

“We have work tomorrow. You need to sleep, Will.”

“I won't be able to fall asleep anytime soon. Stay with me. We can talk until we feel tired again.”

You knew you should say no but the way Will was looking at you:  eyes glossy due to lack of sleep, hair tousled due to his abrupt awakening, lips slightly parted as he waited for your response, made it impossible. So you stayed. 

What's the worst that could happen?

Things escalated quickly. You’d gone from talking about work, to intensely making out, to Will begging to eat you out in a matter of minutes.

And you let him.

Your hands curled into Will's curls as his tongue moved over your clit. His hands grab onto your thighs as you squirm beneath him. 

“Will ah i can’t-”

“Come on just one more. You can do it baby.”

He’d said he needed to destress a bit before going to sleep again and what better way to take his mind off things than absolutely ravaging you with his tongue. He’d already made you cum twice but he needed to feel you spill your juices one more time. Just a bit more and he’d be satisfied. He’d said that but it was a lie. From the second he’d felt your lips on his he knew he’d never get enough of the taste of you. He was clawing so harshly at your legs you were sure you’d have scratch marks tomorrow. The thought of having a reminder of him on your body, even if for a little while, exited you. Your hips rose from the bed as you reached your third orgasm. Will kept licking at you until you had to physically push his face off you. He laid his head on your thigh, staring up at you like a puppy. A warm smile spread over Will's face as he watched your chest rise and fall. He would have never imagined he’d find himself in this situation.  You let out a content sigh, finally opening your eyes to look at him. He was looking up at you like a god. It was then that you noticed he was waiting for you to tell him what you wanted. You placed your hand on his face, thumb stroking his cheek as you called out his name. 

“Yes beautiful?”

“Come give me a kiss.”

You felt the weight on your legs dissipate as he rose from the bed. He crawled over your body, arms flexing as he moved. Once he’d gotten face to face with you he leant down slowly to place a kiss on your lips. You held his face, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. Your legs wound around Wills hips as you made out. He let out a small grunt when you accidentally grazed his hard on. Using all of your body weight you managed to flip your positions around so that you were on top of Will. You grinned down at him, hands splayed against his chest as you rocked your hips slowly.

“My turn.”

You inched your body down his. Will's breath hitched as you gave his hipbone a kiss. His hands gripped at the fresh sheets as you continued to tease him over his boxers. It was only when he let out a breathy “please” that you decided to indulge him. You tugged his boxers down, freeing his dick. You held him in your hand enjoying the weight for a moment before beginning to stroke him. The Will Graham you were currently seeing was nothing like the one you were used to. You’d never seen Will's body so relaxed. Your lips ghosted the tip of his dick causing him to whine.

“You want my mouth Will?”

“Shit baby please.”

He sounded so pretty for you. How could you deny him? As soon as your lips wrapped around his dick Will swore he’d never be able to forget the feeling. You boobed your head, tongue moving over the veins of his dick. Will tugged at your hair roughly, not being able to control his strength due to the pleasure you were giving him. Tears fell from your eyes as you gagged around his dick. He felt the droplets fall on his thighs causing him to raise his head from the people to look at you. A deep moan made its way out of Will as he began to buck his hips. Your grip on his legs tightened as he fucked into your throat. He was getting closer and closer to the edge. You waited eagerly for him to blow his load but then all of a sudden he was tugging you off of him. 

“ Will what’s wro-”

“Sorry baby can’t take it any longer.”

Will roughly tugged you onto him. He positioned himself at your entrance and before you could even process what was going on he sunk into you. You moaned out his name as he filled you up. On instinct you started bouncing on his dick. 

“That’s it baby. Ride me.”

“Jesus Will…you feel so good.”

His hands guided your movements forcing you to move faster and faster as he desperately tried to find release. 

“Fuck i’m gonna cum”

“Give to me Will.”

“Ah shit!”

Wills hips bucked up one last time spilling his load into your. YOu continued grinding on him as he came down from his high. Your hands moved to remove the curls that stuck to his forehead. Will gave you a sleepy smile as you caressed him. You leaned down to give him a kiss. His arms wrapped around your body holding you to him. You closed your eyes hearing the small snores that started to slip out of Will. You nuzzled your body closer to him.

“Good night Will.”

When Will woke up the next morning he found your frame nuzzled into his side, his arm slung over your waist. He placed a kiss on your temple before closing his eyes again. Sleep washed over him quickly. 

He waited from the nightmares to come.

They never did.

[thatonebirdwrites]

Questions and Safety Plans for Surviving the US's Fascist Coup

Crosspost from Mastodon: Questions are to help generate ideas and to get folks started.

I want to be clear in that my pointing out what Musk has control over US treasury isn't me panicking and speculating. He literally has control over US treasury Payment Systems and the OPM datasystem and has stated his intention to eliminate as many programs as he can. Federal workers sent anonymous tips to journalists of how Musk's cronies, no one has any idea of whether they are even US citizens, are downloading data onto private servers, which is a cybersecurity nightmare.

This is an unprecedented hostile coup on speedrun. It is a lot to take in, I know. It can feel overwhelming and paralyzing, but these first few weeks are crucial if we going to save the most lives. We can't rely on anyone to save us.

Look at the Democrats, who are failing to act or take this threat seriiously. Senate Minority Leader is posting about tariffs and pizza on bluesky. Elizabeth Warren stated Musk's actions are wrong and demands an investigation. Are they in denial? Do they not see what this is? Why are they not storming offices and punching fascists? Or at least organizing protests and going on news to show the unconstitutional and illegal acts for what they are? Why are they not blocking Musk from accessing any system?

Thus we can't rely on them to save us. They're complicit at worst and incompetent at best.

The destruction of the US government will kill a lot of innocent and vulnerable groups, and this is why we need to really work together to try to save the most lives. I'm asking these questions to get people to think.

Questions and Actions

When SSDI and other programs are destroyed, who is going to help homebound disabled folks? Do we know who are allies are? Do we know who we can trust to have our back?

What community care exists to help our most vulnerable? What infrastructure exists to care for each other? Do we have a list?

If not, are we researching what exists in our area? Are we looking into who we know and what skills we each can share with one another?

Make a list of your skills. Make a list with friends of their skills. You'll need this.

Do we have a way to train folks, especially on how to care for the unique needs of disabled folks? To train on accessibility and make sure our community care is accessible?

If you don't know how to train folks on accessibility or aren't sure where to find this information, feel free to reach out to me. I used to do accessibility trainings, and I still have those materials.

Do we have a safety plan? (I wrote a post on that here: https://ni.hil.ist/@TheBird/113909678180718685 ).

Do we have ideas on how to do this work and try to avoid burnout? Do we have a system to delegate tasks so no one is left behind or a task left undone?

Whatever actions you plan, you MUST write up an agreed upon plan for delegating tasks and ways people can take breaks. Draft an agreement or mini-constitution about how to handle people who fail to follow-through on the tasks they take on or are assigned.

Do you have a plan or an idea on how to hold people accountable? There's good resources on this within disability justice and transformative justice movements.

Do we have a list or understanding of what talents and skills we currently have and what each of us are able to commit to? Do we have a secure way to store this info to avoid surveillance state?

Disabled people (in particular Disabled Black and Indigenous folks) are the most likely to die after hostile coups like the one we're in.

We can't get out either. There are laws in most nations that prohibit us emigrating unless we can meet a minimum productivity/work threshold to prove we won't be a "drain on the state" and it's resources and healthcare. Yes, most of these laws use the word "drain." So that means when things get worse, and it will get much worse, disabled people end up trapped and left to die.

This is the questions we need to ask and address in our communities and activist groups. Within our friend groups as well. These questions won't be answered in just one conversation or meeting either.

We'll need to pick a set of tasks to focus on and find trusted groups we can coordinate with to help immediate needs.

This won't be easy. But community care and fighting white supremacist transphobic ableist fascism never is.

Be safe.

How to craft a Safety Plan

The item list of what's in your go-bag, which should include clothing, water, snacks, laptop/tablet/backup-drives, driver's license/passport, wallet, cash, phone charger, a portable charger unit, pet supplies, medicines, and for me I add in books/music-player/headphones.

Plan for your pets. I practice with my pets with leash and harness since tornadoes are common where I am, so they are used to heading to the bathroom to stay in place. For a go-bag, I have tuperware ready, where I can quickly scoop food into it and tuck into my bag. I make sure their carriers are near the door and easy for me to slip them into it.

Write down your rights. Memorize them. Yes, the rule of law is being thrown out the window, but hold firm to those rights. Do not allow ICE or any police authority into your home or area without a warrant signed by a judge. (I have to legally say that even if I personally think don't ever allow them in regardless, but safety comes first here and fighting ICE and police when it's just you or you and a few friends could get you killed and won't save the most people in the long run. We need to be hold firm on our rights but also firm on our safety so we can stay alive to help others.)

A route out of town. Make sure there's several possible routes planned in case one isn't viable. (Good to do if an area is prone to fire or flooding as those are unpredictable at best of times). Make sure you have a printed map. Do not rely on your phone.

Printed copies of all necessary documents: healthcare, phone numbers/addresses, identity, maps, etc. Include physical therapy exercises, mental health exercises, and medicine lists.

Share your safety plan with family and friends you trust. Work with them on their safety plans. For disabled people, this means we need to find people willing to help us evacuate (as needed) or check on us (for stay-in-place orders). These need to be people we trust to follow through. Leave no one behind is the motto.

Practice and/or review the safety plan monthly or at least four times a year with family/friends/pets. This becomes more crucial as fascism rises here.

Also helpful to plan community care events, where people share their grief and their hopes. This can help the fight to avoid burnout. Self-care is important, but it's not enough. Community-care is also needed, and should be included in a safety plan -- ways to engage in that care to help bolster one another.

It can be daunting to write up this plan alone, so do it with friends. Help one another through this.

We are not alone, but the fascists assholes want us to believe we are.

Sources: https://www.disabledginger.com/p/week-one-executive-orders-and-a-merit https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/01/us/politics/elon-musk-doge-federal-payments-system.html https://bsky.app/profile/thomaszimmer.bsky.social/post/3lh4lj7hfss2l https://www.wired.com/story/us-government-websites-are-disappearing-in-real-time/ https://insidemedicine.substack.com/p/breaking-news-cdc-orders-mass-retraction https://www.reuters.com/world/us/musk-aides-lock-government-workers-out-computer-systems-us-agency-sources-say-2025-01-31/ https://www.salon.com/2025/01/30/ai-nurses-as-good-as-any-doctor-rfk-jr-confirms-he-wants-to-take-away-peoples-health-care/ https://www.teenvogue.com/story/trumps-executive-order-on-gender-affirming-care-for-trans-youth And may edit in others later.

[ticktokrobotsnot]

Vapor

This is Part 2

You can read Part 1 here.

Pairing: Carmen Berzatto x fem!reader 

Summary: An accountant helps Carmen organize his not-so-shit-restaurant and gets invited over for family dinner. 

Word Count: 10k

__

The sky was blood orange and the reflection on the store window was mesmerizing. Y/n was supposed to be in the office getting ready for the full day ahead of her but she couldn’t resist slacking off for a bit, it was nice to finally enjoy the restaurant with no one inside. Y/n needed to be here early when a potential vendor came by to give some quotes. Carmen’s initial reaction was to stand his ground and act like some faux bodyguard because he couldn't fathom why some “sick fuck” would want to be alone with a woman in a restaurant at the ass crack of dawn without them having bad intentions—said it wasn't safe at all. Y/n had to inform him that the, “sick fuck” was a woman. And as soon as Carmen heard that, and realized they were going to be talking numbers for a while, he ran off to the farmer's market, wanting no part in that snooze fest. 

Y/n grabbed her laptop and started reviewing the binders she organized. Just as y/n was about to check her phone for any messages, she heard a knock at the door. A pretty blond woman looks at y/n with a bit of confusion. This woman wasn’t expecting to see y/n and y/n wasn't expecting to see this woman. Y/n walked to the door and opened a crack. 

“Who are you?” Y/n questioned. 

“I could ask you the same thing.” The women laughed but y/n wasn’t finding this funny.

“Natalie…” Y/n shook her head like a bouncer sending a teeager away without his fake ID.

“Natalie Berzatto.” She clarified and y/n recalled the name as a co-signer for The Beef, now The Bear. Y/n opened the door a bit more to let her in. 

Y/n gave her name but she didn’t know what else to say but Natalie was already filling the space. 

“Hi! It’s so nice to finally meet you, Carmen won't stop talking about you. You really saved our asses. Especially with the file organizing stuff, I found the old payroll stuff in like a minute, you're a real savant with stuff like that. Carmy is a real sticker for cooking but he is a real shit-”. It didn’t take a genius to figure out Natalie was nervous.

Y/n knew that Natalie was a part of Carmen’s family but she didn’t know how they were connected. One plausible scenario was that she was Micheal’s widowed girlfriend or wife, which would explain why anyone would co-sign the disaster that Micheal had created and promptly left. Y/n wondered why Carmen would be getting so chummy with his widowed sister-in-law, but then again men have done worse. 

Y/n bit the bullet, “How do you know Carmen?”

“I'm his sister… Sugar?” Y/n was starting to feel like a real idiot for not being able to piece these easy deductions together, she was losing her edge because it was to fucking early in the morning.

“Yes, Richie told me that “Sugar” was going to stop by this week. What can I do for you?” Y/n didn’t mention that she thought Sugar was going to be a stripper because of the name. 

“Actually I came to pick some old tax stuff… Micheal’s tax returns.” Y/n guided her to the office. Even if she didn’t look back she knew that Natalie was spying on her binders and laptop laid out on the counter, trying to find out a bit about y/n. 

“So, Carmy tells me that you two used to work together back in New York.”

“Yeah it was only for a few years.”

“Were you close?” Natalie probed. 

“We were…strangers at best.” Y/n chose to leave out the messy parts of her and Carmen’s origins. 

Natalie shook her head in disbelief. "That can't be true, he actually came to my place one day, pretty late. You know why?" Y/n, not knowing the answer, simply shrugged her shoulders. 

"He said he needed to make an important phone call, someone from his old job. He said that he wanted to ask for a bit of help." Natalie continued, her voice tinged with wishfulness "I thought maybe he was finally going to therapy or something." Y/n felt a strange sensation, like she was staring directly into the sun, hope gave Natalie a beautiful glow. 

Natalie's smile softened as she added, "And you know what? He made that phone call right on our porch." Her words carried a touch of warmth. "Well, at least he's reaching out for help. It's a good thing, right?"

“I recommended therapy to him too but I think we would need to put a gun to his head for him to actually go." Natalie let out a humored exhale. 

There was a lull of silence after she handed the tax returns. Y/n could sense that Natalie wanted to talk some more so y/n directed her to the bar stools out front. She checked her phone and saw that her vendor had a family emergency and needed to reschedule. After shooting a quick ok, she directed herself to face Natalie. 

"You can ask me anything. I've got plenty of time to kill." Y/n offered, feeling generous considering the recent kiss shared with Natalie's brother just a week ago.

“I was here a few times but I never had a chance to meet you?”

“I was probably apartment hunting.” Natalie looked like she was debating asking her next question.   

“What did you think of Carmen when you guys were back in New York?”

“He was like every other chef.”

“Nothing else? No pulling force?”

“No pulling force.”

“You moved state lines for him and you're saying there was no pulling force?”

“He asked me for help and I gave him some.” 

“You chose to stay. There had to be a pull.”

“The restaurant spoke to my soul, I had to stay.” Y/n was bluffing. 

“Bullshit, there was a pull.” Natalie said with a self fulfilled smirk like she had won a point in their imaginary game.

Natalie continued, “You know, he won a Michelin star. A man who cooks…is not too bad.”

“I don’t eat gourmet food. It’s pretentious.” Y/n didn’t want to make too much out of the kiss and make Carmen panic.

“I'm sure he can make something you will like.” 

“I have yet to eat something of his that would warrant him having a Michelin star.”

“You don’t like his cooking?”

“I don’t like anyone’s cooking.” Natalie couldn’t come up with something else. Point to y/n. A smile spread across y/n’s face and Natalie was relieved to realize that y/n wasn’t being serious. 

“What do you like doing?” Natalie probed. 

“I spend most of my time working here but I also read.” 

“Why did you leave New York?” Natalie blurted out.

“I don’t like working with other people, my boss was all over me. I thought Chicago would be a nice change of pace.” 

Y/n saw Natalie unlock her phone to respond to a text from someone named Pete, who had a pink heart near his name. Y/n knew that memorizing people’s passwords was an invasion of their privacy but it was fun to be a bit nosy. 

Y/n was also tired of getting the third-degree, she was hoping for a few fun questions asking if she ever murdered anyone or if she ever was contacted to be a part of a bank heist. She would be lying if she wasn’t a bit afraid that whatever she said would be relayed to Carmen so she didn’t want to say anything too damning. 

“You read romance?” Y/n saw the book peeking out of Natalie’s bag, it was one that she had read before. 

“Yeah, they’re my guilty pleasure.”

“Mine too. I liked that one.” Y/n pointed at the book peaking out.

“I hate it, it's filled with miscommunication. I’m only finishing it to justify the 12 dollars I spent.” Natalie said with a fake pout. 

“I love miscommunication because I suck at talking to people too. Much better than the one I just finished.”

“What killed your book?”

“Third-act break up.” Natalie nodded her head, it seems like they agreed. 

Y/n couldn't help but feel relieved; while the nature of Y/n's relationship with Carmen remained uncertain, it was evident that Natalie would become a more integral part of the restaurant. Carmen's recent discovery of three hundred thousand dollars hidden in tomato cans had sparked ambitious plans for renovating the place. Even if she ended up being nothing serious with Carmen, she needed to secure a stable support who wouldn’t completely hate her if shit hit the fan. 

They continued to talk about a few books that they had read, a few so trashy that they had to hide their faces in embarrassment from each other when reading the summary out loud. 

The door chimed and both women looked over to Carmen who was holding a few bags of produce and baked goods. Y/n went over and plucked the receipts for the top of one of the bags, she didn’t bother helping Carmen because he wouldn’t have let her help anyways. Carmen was gracious enough to put all the receipts together so she wasn’t digging to find them, she kept a record of them to write them off as a business deduction. 

“Nat, you’re here early?” Carmen spared a glance before opening a box of croissants to share and then disappearing to the kitchen to put everything away. 

“Yeah I had to pick something up, y/n was so kind to help me so early in the morning. Isn’t she just the best?” 

“Yeah…How did it go with the vendor?” Carmen mindlessly mumbled while busying himself with a notebook of recipe ideas. 

“Rescheduled.” Y/n didn’t look up, engrossed in cataloging some expensive mushrooms for record keeping. $268.43 for some mushrooms was honestly so ridiculous y/n needed to squint to see if she was seeing this right. 

“I need to return the favor.” Natalie started.

“It was just a few folders, you really don’t-”

“Why don’t you join us for dinner on friday?” Y/n felt like she was performing front and center.

“I couldn’t-.” 

“Please, Pete never wants to talk to me about…” Natalie was raising her eyebrows in the most unsubtle way possible so she didn’t expose y/n's softer side and her penchant for reading romance novels. Y/n couldn’t help but hide her face in embarrassment, “Yeah…fine. Just tell me what time.”

Observing the exchange, Carmen couldn't help but wonder if this was how dogs felt when humans engaged in their own incomprehensible conversations.

Y/n was starting to feel like she was edging closer and closer to Carmen’s limit. Kissing in the back alley of a restaurant and on the car ride to and from work was very different from being invited to his sister’s house for dinner. It carried a weight of intimacy, commitment, and solidity that made Y/n slightly uneasy, wondering if this was too much for Carmen. She waited for the other shoe to drop, Carmen would subtly show his discontent by telling Natalie that she shouldn’t force y/n to go to that dinner, which was just an excuse to create some distance. Y/n was surprised when Carmen asked what type of desert he should bring instead. 

Y/n kept her cool and excused herself to go to the office so she could get back to work. 

Carmen and Natalie moved to the kitchen where Carmen would experiment for a bit. Natalie sat on a stool next to Carmen who started washing produce. 

“She is very smart.” Natalie whispered. She took a glance at the closed office door.

“Yeah. Great with the books.” Carmen peeled and diced some garlic. 

“Nice too.”

“She is very nice.” Carmen started cutting some nepitella. The additional “very” caused some alarm bells to ring in Natalie’s head. She hid her smirk. 

“Everything about her is nice,” Natalie made sure to pay close attention to Carmen’s face, “Nice personality, nice face-” Carmen took a worried glance at the office door and then looked up at Natalie with wide eyes.

“Why, why, what are you-?” He was flustered. 

“I’m just sharing my observations. You don’t think she has a nice face-?”

“This is a business, we try to keep professional.” Carmen hid his fumble with fake professionality, unfortunately Natalie saw right through it. 

“Try?” Natalie teased. Carmen looked away to pretend to look for some dried porcini. He felt like an idiot. He understood why people used to see him as an easy target when he was younger, he basically showed everyone his buttons, and asked them to get pushed. Carmen continued to chop in silence. 

“I'm sorry, I just got a bit excited. I won't push.” Natalie gave her brother the benefit of the doubt, she always thought he would never get into a serious relationship but he liked y/n and y/n seemed like the serious girlfriend type. Natalie couldn’t help but nudge Carmen in the right direction. 

Carmen chopped in silence for a few minutes, debating if he should tell Natalie about the kiss. In his mind, he didn’t know if it was too soon for him to introduce his girlfriend to his family. Calling y/n his girlfriend felt unreal, past him wouldn’t believe it even if he saw it.  

He handed his notebook to Natalie so she could read measurements to him, he wanted her here for just a bit longer till he gained the courage to tell her about y/n. 

Tagliatelle with porcini mushrooms was the first test item of the morning, and he had to soak the dried porcini for 30 minutes, he was bummed that the market didn't have the fresh kind but he knew he would get the real shit when y/n got a hold of that vendor. He looked up at Natalie and tilted his head to indicate that they should leave. Carmen avoided the alley because he knew that y/n would look there first and he didn’t want her to overhear anything. They walked over to a nearby supermarket and started roaming the aisles. It was nearly empty because it was six in the morning. 

“I did something…and I need you to not…just listen and don’t make it a big deal.”

“I got it, Carmy.” 

“A while ago, I…” Carmen looked at all the different types of instant noodles they had on display. “So, we were in deep shit with these pre-orders and I was a mess and y/n and I were talking after…” Carmen moved over to the boxed pasta, he didn't intend to buy anything but he did read the nutritional facts.

“I umm, asked her to…” Jesus, Carmen wondered, why he didn’t make more friends so he didn’t have to talk to his older sister about something like this. Richie didn’t seem capable of giving any advice that wasn’t, “Just Do It”.

 “We ki…” Natalie kept her face hard but the second that Carmen turned around to look at a box of elbow pasta, she couldn't help herself but let out a small, barely audible squeal of delight. Her eyes widened, and a grin threatened to break through her determined facade. Natalie quickly covered her mouth with her hand, trying to contain her elation, making sure not to let Carmen catch a glimpse. She stifled her excitement with every fiber of her being, preserving the illusion of calmness for when Carmen turned back around, none the wiser.

“It’s been a while, and we k…” Carmen didn’t know how he was supposed to maturely ask for advice when he couldn’t even say a kiss in front of his sister while cringing. Carmen couldn’t do this, it was too open, too vulnerable. 

Nat cut him some slack and started asking questions instead, “Was it a one time thing?” Carmen subtly shook his head no. Her lips parted as she squeezed a jar of Pego to contain herself. 

“Do you regret it?” Carmen didn’t respond but that didn’t mean no, that ment that she was getting closer to the root of the problem.

“Do you think she’s going to regret it?” Carmen’s shoulder’s raised slightly, bingo. 

“Why don’t I gauge how she is feeling at dinner.” Nat knew he was about to run away from her for exposing too much and she had to give him an incentive to not follow his instincts. 

She continued, “We talked earlier, she said she hates your cooking.” Carmen’s head snapped up, Nat knew that y/n was just joking but it was still a bit funny to mess with Carmen. 

The look of shock transported her back to when she was eight sitting next to Carmy and watching Micheal convince him to finish a glass of milk or else he would lose all of his teeth to a calcium deficiency. This wasn’t the time to reminisce but it made her heart warm knowing that even after going through so much, there was still a part of young Carmy that persevered. She was feeling the burning in the back of her eyes, her hormones were making her sentimental. 

“Yeah she said that your food fucking blows.” Carmen caught on and let out a small laugh.

They both roamed in the aisle moving on to juices. Sugar free, diet, pineapple, orange. Carmen’s eyebrows raised when he saw the price of orange juice before putting it down and deciding to just make his own. 

Carmen started, “She isn’t the type of person who changes her mind easily,” but if she can make that shift to see him in a good light, maybe she'll stick around and eventually see the real Carmen—a pathetic, insecure loser. All he did was make a promise to her but he knew it meant nothing without actions, and he was unsure if he could control his anger or keep his obsessiveness in check when something especially difficult happened. If another shit storm made its rounds in the kitchen, would he really be able to be the bigger person? Carmen doubted it. 

Carmen just ripped off the bandaid, “I don’t know how to…I want her to not hate me. I know I'm going to..” Carmen waited till a child next to them moved to the other end of teh aisle towards his dad, “..fuck it up, but I dont want that to happen.” 

“What makes you think she is going to hate you?”

“When we were talking…she told me that I should have done better. And that I…needed to be “stable”, but I don’t know how to be that for myself, let alone someone else.”

“She isn’t asking you to do it for her, she wants you to do it for yourself.” Natalie offered. 

“Its like having to solve a word search to answer a stupid fucking puzzle. I don’t…” Carmen sighed in defeat. Nat knew that he was strong and it was impossible for her to fix this for him but that still made her palms itch seeing him struggle like this. She racked her brain, desperately seeking any glimmer of a solution that could offer him even a shred of relief. 

They both walked out the market towards the restaurant. “It's really hard…and it's not that I don’t want to, it just feels impossible.” Carmen muttered, he was close to giving up. 

A burning sensation welled up in the back of Natalie's throat, and she instinctively placed her hand on Carmen's shoulder as a gesture of support and to her surprise Carmen looked at her, saw her glassy eyes and hugged her. The shock knocked a few tears from her eyes.. 

Carmy was not a selfish person but Nat noticed that he was becoming a bit more aware that he takes up much more space then he originally thought he did. He now knew that his presence was big enough to be able to tear people down but was also big enough to offer meaningful support. He had come to understand his own significance, and this realization struck Natalie like a tidal wave, causing her to burst into uncontrollable sobs. 

“Does crying mean I'm fucked, Sugar?” Carmen asked, his voice tinged with humor and uncertainty, as he gently rubbed Natalie's back for comfort. Nat shook her head no.

“You'll be okay. You always are.” Nat wiped her face before continuing to walk back to the restaurant. 

Carmen snuck a few glances to see what was making his sister a sobbing mess, she wasn’t the type to break down like that, “Are you good?” Natalie nodded her head.

“Everything good at home?” It felt strange to say the word home, even after visiting multiple countries and living in many different apartments, Carmen couldn’t really call any place home. Home was supposed to be a sanctuary of warmth, Carmen's closest experience to that feeling was back in his family house—a place where the warmth was scalding and suffocating. Where it was a constant waiting game, anticipating the intense heat to escalate and cause everything, and everyone, to boil over. 

Carmen was acutely aware that he would never have a home quite like Sugar's. He couldn't help but wonder if he had what it took to be like Pete for someone else—always helpful, kind, and perhaps a little too accommodating. He questioned whether he had the capacity to fulfill that role and maintain his own sense of self. Granted, what about his “self” was worth preserving?

Natalie nodded her head but Carmen wasn’t convinced. “It's just a lot, you know. Seeing the place getting renovated. I used to hate that place, but..” She sighed, “...I picked up Micheal’s tax returns, I didn’t even need them for anything…I just wanted to see them to know what he was going through towards the…'' end. She didn’t need to finish for Carmen to know what she was talking about. They were in front of the restaurant and Carmen gave her a side hug and against his better judgment he tried his hand in verbal reassurance so he could be there for her, fully. 

“I think he tried his best to make everything look fine, and it’s nice to know that he was at least able to pretend till the...end.” Sugar looked up at him and didn’t comment on his successful attempt to be her support, not wanting to scare him. 

They wordlessly walked in the restaurant and Carmen finished up his dish. He made enough for one plate because he was expecting to have to remake it a few times. He grabbed a small plate and served a separate plate for y/n before knocking on her door. She looked up at him, not hearing him and gave him a “hmm” which echoed in his chest. She sat with them in the kitchen, taking her laptop with her. They all took the first bite together. Carmen watched both women’s reactions to gauge their uncensored reactions. Natalie’s eyebrows raised and she gave him a nod of approval. 

Y/n took a bite and looked up from her plate so see Carmen staring at her. “Why are you staring?”

“Do you not like it?” 

“It’s good.” Y/n put her fork down and propped up her head on her hand. 

“But, you didn’t-”

“I’m not really a foodie, so food is never like…” Y/n made an explosion sound and flicked her hands open, “Good, is the best you going to get out of me.” Natalie wondered how a chef and an anti-gourmet foodie were going to work. 

“Is all food just ”good”?” Y/n looked up and tried to think of food that was better than good.

“I like mom's cooking.” 

“What is her food like?”

“Intense…subtly in food doesn’t mean anything to me because I don’t taste the difference.” Carmen was waiting for more for y/n.

“I ate a lot of spicy, sour and bitter food growing up. My mom didn’t think that kids should eat different things than everyone else, so I guess pasta and mushrooms will always be just “good”.” Y/n felt like she was just shitting all over his profession but he asked for her opinion so he couldn’t get offended now. 

Carmen nodded his head before walking away. Y/n pierced her lips and looked over to Natalie wondering if she hurt Carmen’s feelings. Natalie looked just as bewildered. Just as y/n was about to find Carmen, he came out with a few more ingredients.

“What are you making?” 

“Something you will like.” 

“I liked what you made-” 

“Good is not enough.” 

“Come on, Carmen, it's something that everyone will like, it’s going to kill opening day.”

“But you have to like it.” Y/n sighed before indicating that he should continue. 

“You won’t be able to serve the food I like to eat, it would be considered a biological weapon.” Y/n was warning him but Carmen thought she was teasing him. He would learn to listen to her warning in the future. He put the porcini mushrooms to the side before getting started on some penne all’arrabbiata. 

Y/n laughed at him knowing that he wouldn’t have the courage to spice up a dish to her standard before grabbing her laptop so she could get some work done and also talk to Natalie about contractors. 

While Carmen chopped and stirred, y/n subtly glanced up at his flexing back and strong arms. She thought she was hiding it well but when she went to check if Natalie noticed she saw that Natalie was already watching her. Natalie snickered as y/n hid her face behind her laptop to hide her embarrassment. Carmen turned around to see what was so funny but was just met with the view of both of them with their faces hiding behind their hands. 

Y/n felt someone pass behind her and knew it was Sydney without having to look up. “Hey guys, what are we making?” She took a bite out of the pasta, which was slightly cooled but she still nodded her head. 

“It’s fire, chef. It would be great if it was hot, I want to remake it to see what it was supposed to taste like.”

Y/n couldn’t say that she completely forgave Sydney but y/n did respect that she went to Richie to give some type of apology after a while. Y/n could accept that the two of them wouldn’t be best friends, they just needed to be able to work together. 

Y/n went to Carmen’s locker before pulling out a few Tums for everyone, it looks like today was going to be pasta day because of her and she didn’t want to send everyone home with a stomach ache.

Carmen continued with his pasta, and served it in front of y/n. All the women took a bite,

“It’s got a kick to it.” Natalie said while reaching for a food container filled with water while wiping sweat from her brow. Sydney gave Carmen a, “This is fire, chef.” Y/n couldn't help but cringe inwardly at the comment because she knew she couldn't quite match their shared vernacular and the ease with which they expressed themselves with food. What private passion did y/n and Carmen share?

Carmen stared y/n down as she took a bite.

“It’s good.” Carmen waited for her to elaborate. “It’s too subtle.” 

Carmen smirked, “Yeah, next time I'll just make you a ball of fire for you to enjoy.” Y/n gave him a shit eating grin, it was just too fun not to mess with him, and when she saw him smile back she felt a bit of imaginary nostalgia, this was what she longed for back in New York. 

The restaurant was still closed for renovations and after a while a few other crew members came by to do some demo. Y/n was stuck on hold with the inspector's office when she was approached by Natalie, “I’ve got a doctor’s appointment so I've got to go, I’ll see you on Friday at eight.” 

The rest of the week flew by because they were on a very strict time crunch to open in a few months. Y/n wasn’t very worried but she could feel the nerves from everyone else and she knew it would be in bad taste to tell them to toughen up, so she let them be grown ups and deal with their own anxieties. 

On Friday, y/n left early to get ready for dinner, she opened an old moving box and pulled out a dress that she wore to an old work function. It was very tasteful because it was freezing outside. Y/n grabbed her gifts before running into Carmen’s car. Y/n took one look at Carmen and had to do a double take to make sure that she went into the right person’s car. Carmen’s hair was lighty slicked back, probably with pomade, and he was wearing a deep blue sweater with a white collar. 

“I didn’t know you had clothes other than aprons and Dickies.”

“You look..” Carmen marveled at the way her eyes sparkled with an inner radiance, drawing him in like a moth to a flame. He knew he wasn’t able to get the full picture yet because they were in a dark car but he could only imagine what she would do to him when they went to the well lit house. “..great.” Carmen wanted to punch himself for being so unoriginal but he couldn’t focus on anything. 

“Thank you, you look good too. Blue is definitely your color..” Carmen’s fingers loosened around the steering wheel, compliments had always made him uneasy; he spent the majority of his life trying to make himself as small as possible and now he was pushed into the spotlight and he wondered if he even liked it?

“Carmen, can you look at me for a second?” And when he swiveled his head towards y/n, she squished his face lighty before giving his puckered lips a soft kiss. Just as she was about to lean back into her seat, Carmen, unable to resist, slipped his hand beneath her hair, grasping the back of her neck and drawing her in for a deeper, more passionate second kiss. 

Yeah, he liked it.

“We are going to be late.” Y/n whispered before giving him one last peck. Carmen, still in a daze, fiddled with the radio so he could get his head straight. The ride to his sister’s house was quiet barring the soft jazz. Y/n was very nervous, they never had that conversation that said that they were official and for all she knew she was just a friend that Carmen kissed from time to time. She resisted the urge to ask right now because she was scared to find out that they were nothing more. She would savor the few minutes before she was inevitably introduced as a friend, or worse a co-worker. 

They pulled into Natalie’s driveway and got out of the car, y/n grabbed the bouquet of flowers and a bottle of wine and they rang the doorbell. 

"Why are you holding the tray like that?" Y/n asked, noticing how Carmen clung to it like a shield. Before she could receive a response, Natalie opened the door with a warm greeting, inviting them inside. Y/n handed over the gifts, but Carmen still clung onto his belongings. Just then, Peter descended the stairs, seemingly about to approach Carmen for a hug before his gaze landed on Carmen's protective tray. He hesitated and stepped back, realizing it was acting as a barrier. Y/n stifled a laugh, biting her cheek to prevent herself from laughing at Carmen’s immaturity.

Carmen greeted, “Pete.” Y/n could feel the dislike and she felt bad for Pete because he seemed nice.

“Carmen, it’s good to see you, man.”

“This is my girlfriend, y/n.” A sense of numbness overwhelmed her. It was like when people get run over by a semi and say that they don’t feel anything. Y/n extended her hand to shake Pete's, and she followed him into the living room. 

Carmen went into the kitchen to help Natalie and y/n made pleasant conversation with Pete, he seemed a bit soft but she could understand why Natalie might want someone like him. Y/n pretended to be interested when he showed her his Cubs memorabilia, she initially thought the Cubs were a fictional sports team made by the New Girl writers. 

Y/n and Pete walked over to the kitchen and asked if they needed any help. Pete looked like he wanted to actually be helpful but y/n had her fingers crossed hoping she didn’t have to do any cooking. It was weird to see Carmen let someone else take the lead while he watched. Even with Sydney, he still watched over everything like a hawk, not because he didn’t trust her, it's just because he wouldn’t let her fail. 

Y/n watched as everyone spoke and she wondered where she fit in. Natalie and Carmen were obviously close and Pete was doing his best to get close to Carmen, trying to bridge the obvious gap between them. Y/n had to stop herself from telling Carmen to either be nicer or for Pete to drop it.

Other than being Carmen’s new “girlfriend” and sharing small talk, what else was there for her to talk about? Y/n didn’t know them well but she could tell there was a lot of subtext between the three of them that added weight to their interactions that she wasn’t privy to yet. She was a flame trying to suck in any bubble of oxygen so she could ignite, she needed more information before she could actually join them.

 It felt like she was reading Dune for the first time, being dropped in the middle of an already moving plot and she was scrambling to play catch up. Carmen had a lot of triggers and she wondered if Natalie was the same. Even if they acted completely differently, y/n could tell that they were sidestepping something, like they were avoiding talking about a gaping bullet wound, and if siblings were acting like that it means that it's a problem with the parents. Despite the fact that they were in the kitchen, the three of them weren’t talking about the food. Y/n made a mental checklist of a few rules; 1. Don’t bring up parents 2. Don't mention food because it's a trigger 3. Pay attention to Natalie because she was not as good at hiding her feelings as Carmen. 

Dinner was served and they all took a seat, y/n took slow sips of wine and saw that Natalie’s wine was slightly darker than hers. Y/n was sitting across Natalie so she recognized the smell too, apple. She was drinking sparkling apple cider. Y/n hid her smirk by talking another sip, she would be a spy or something because she was killing it in the recon department. 

Dinner was starting to feel stiff, y/n took a deep breath and turned to Natalie, “Your cooking is to die for.” Natalie tucked in her lips but couldn’t help but hide her smile, y/n never told Carmen anything like that, barring the first day she got to Chicago, it was a petty way of getting back at him for blindsiding her by calling her his girlfriend. 

“Thanks, It's a family recipe.” Y/n wanted to stab herself with the fork, she just broke rule one and two. Just as y/n was about to make some asinine comment to change topics, Carmen did it for her.

“Can you pass me the bread, Sugar?” Y/n found her opening.

“Sugar, that’s a nice nickname, what’s the story?” 

Natalie paused and y/n had a feeling she fucked up, “We were having this Chrismas family thing and I added a cup of sugar into the gravy instead of salt. The name just stuck.” Y/n definitely fucked up, she was breaking rules left and right. Y/n scrabbled to put herself in the same level as Natalie.

“I’ve been there. My parents were having a few co-worker over for lunch and they brought a box of these expensive mangos and I was told to make some smoothies because it was boiling that day. I filled up the sugar container with salt without noticing and made them smoothies with a ton of salt.” Y/n saw that all eyes were on her and she didn’t allow herself to be nervous because she was trying to get a deeper point across.

Y/n continued, “I have never heard that many people gag all at once.” Their faces broke into a smile.

“What did your mom say?” Bingo, looks like the taboo parent could be narrowed down to their mother. 

“She didn’t say anything bad, she and her co-workers just laughed. I mean I was a kid and we all make mistakes. I ended up making lemonade instead.”

Natalie’s eyes lit up,“It’s a shame that all those mangos went to waste.” Natalie joked. 

“Waste?” Y/n had a fake offense, “I drank the rest to prove that it wasn’t that bad.”

“Was it that bad?” Pete asked.

“My blood pressure was through the roof. It was the first time I ever got a headache.” 

The rest of dinner was a bit more relaxed, y/n was expecting Carmen to talk a bit more because these were his people but it looked like she would have to do the talking for the both of them. They finished up dinner and y/n got up to help them clean up. It was y/n and Carmen alone in the kitchen while Natalie went upstairs to check on something, aka she needed some rest and Pete went to check up on her. 

As Carmen washed the dishes, Y/n stood by, towel in hand, drying them. The domestic scene felt comfortable, yet she couldn't determine if she truly enjoyed this newfound domesticity. She wondered if in Carmen’s eyes she was merely playing the role of the perfect partner – someone who could effortlessly navigate his family dynamics, fix his business, and be his own manic pixie dream girl. 

A selfish thought crossed Y/n's mind. What was she truly gaining from this relationship? She had been too afraid to make a move with Carmen after the kiss, fearing that one misstep could lead her to being shut out completely. She hesitated to voice her preferences about his food, to ask about the nature of their relationship, or to discuss their future plans if this relationship fell through. Y/n wasn't one to dwell in discomfort, except for her previous job, and she felt frustrated that she had to jump through so many hoops just to ensure that Carmen wouldn't leave.

They finished the dishes and y/n could tell that Carmen wanted to check on Natalie but he didn’t want to leave y/n alone. Y/n being a supportive girlfriend, practically pushed him up the steps before walking out the front door and leaning on the porch. Y/n grabbed her jacket and walked out. She underestimated the frigid Chicago air which felt like a sharp slap to her face, serving as a wake-up call. It reminded her that the warm and fuzzy feeling she had been battling within herself was merely fleeting, and that the reality of the world could be much harsher and more painful. 

Y/n couldn’t help but wonder why Carmen was even bothering with her, they had nothing in common but the restaurant. Work was everything for him and Sydney, their shared connection always pulled them together despite both of their volatile personalities. What pulled y/n and Carmen together? They both worked in the restaurant but Carmen didn’t have a passion for running said restaurant, it was a mere obligation that y/n took from him. If she stopped working there, what else did they have in common? 

Y/n came to the daunting realization that Carmen picked Sydney because he saw potential in her, a chance to let both him and her grow. However, he didn’t pick y/n because he saw something deeper in her, it was an act of embarrassed desperation. 

Was she just a means to help Carmen get his shit together? The restaurant meant a lot to Micheal and after he died Carmen stopped seeing the restaurant as something that was out of his reach but as something to connect him to his brother, a small thread connecting the estranged brothers. Y/n was there to hold up the connection in the vaguest of ways, she kept the restaurant afloat so Carmen could come to terms with Micheals’s legacy, good and bad.

She was lost in thought when she heard the door close, she turned her head to see Carmen was already lighting a cigarette. It was difficult for her to be objective when Carmen locked eyes with her with such intensity. Y/n ripped her eyes from him and faced forward looking at the neighbor's yard, they had nice shrubs. 

“I thought you left.” Carmen started as he leaned on the railing with y/n. He looked forward to see what was so interesting that y/n couldn’t look him in the face, it was just some trees.

“I needed some air.”

“You could catch a cold.” 

“I don’t get sick, sick is a mindset.” Y/n was obviously joking. 

She lowered her head so that she could feel the cold metal on her forehead, maybe a different type of pain would make this conversation easier. Her forehead landed on something warm, the back of Carmen’s hand. She turned her head to its side but remained connected to Carmen’s hand. The warmth radiating on her cheek was making her stomach do backflips. Even if she knew she shouldn’t be indulging like this she couldn’t help it. He felt too good and y/n was getting more and more greedy. 

“Hey, Carmen?” Carmen was still staring at y/n. “What do we have in common?” He looked taken aback.

“We like each other…” He was starting to feel the slow slitter of nausea because he knew the other shoe was about to drop.

“If we don’t have much in common, what do we talk about?” 

“We can talk about whatever we like. It’s nice to…be with someone who isn't wrapped up in the same things as me.” Carmen expressed a genuine warmth in his voice. Carmen wanted to say that she made him feel like the roof wasn’t going to collapse on him and that the small things weren’t going to destroy him but it felt selfish to describe how much he cared for her based on how she made him feel and not on facts about her. 

“I don’t care about fancy food.” Y/n blurted out.

Carmen chuckled, “You know about the vendors, where the supplies are sourced, how much they cost, and a bunch of other stuff. You do care, just in a different way than I do.”

“Is that a good thing?”

“It gives me perspective. It’s very realistic and grounded.” Y/n knew he was calling her realistic and grounded. 

“I like hearing you talk about my food.” Carmen offered.

“Even if it’s just “good”?”

“Especially if it's just "good". That means you're telling me the truth.” Carmen recalled a ninth grade world history lesson about the Rosetta Stone, an artifact written in three different languages and made it possible to translate some ancient language. Though he hadn't fully paid attention during the lesson, Carmen now saw the parallel. If Y/n had the courage to express her opinions on his food, it meant she was being honest with him about everything else. 

Y/n cracked a smile before covering her mouth and started laughing. It was a jarring sound, Carmen couldn’t pinpoint what the laugh was meant to convey but he knew it wasn’t good. 

“What?” Carmen asked, Y/n rubbed her face with her cold hands. 

“You said that you were scared of me a while back but now…” Y/n's laughter softened into a smaller chuckle, conveying a mix of amusement and irony.

“I’m scared of you.” The weight was lifted off her shoulders and slammed down on Carmen's. Y/n wondered if this is how the rest of their relationship was going to be; one person transferring their hurt to the other till the weight became too much to bear. 

"It's... I want to bring so many things up to you but..." Y/n wondered if this counted as an accusation. "..you’re so flighty. I don't know what to say that won't make you..." Y/n struggled to find a word that didn't feel so definitive, but the only word that felt honest was, "...leave."

The porch fell into an uneasy silence, both of them grappling with the weight of Y/n's vulnerability.

"I...I didn't realize..." Carmen stammered, his voice betraying his inner turmoil. "I would never just... leave." They both stared in silence, they knew that wasn’t true. Y/n lifted her head leaving the warmth behind, she knew this wouldn’t work if he made false promises. And against everything telling her to just accept his promise as law and ignore any doubts, she couldn’t fool herself like that. 

“That’s such bullshit.” Y/n lighty giggled. It felt as though a shark had promised to stop swimming—it was ingrained in their nature. In that lighthearted moment, a mischievous thought crossed Y/n's mind: What would happen if Carmen actually stopped running away? Would he cease to exist, like a fish in space? 

Her playful musings, though immature, offered a brief respite from the weight of their conversation. It was a temporary escape, a way to diffuse the tension. Y/n noticed that she brought all this shit up to comfort herself but she was giggling to make him feel safe. Even when she knew she shouldn’t, she couldn't help but try to make him feel better. 

As the laughter subsided, Y/n met Carmen's eyes, she forced herself to ignore the emotions he was conveying and instead tried to match his eyes with things she had seen in the past. If this ended poorly, she would miss his eyes the most and she wanted to know what else could match in intensity in case she never got to see him like this ever again, nothing came to mind.

Carmen felt like he was backed into a corner, he couldn’t promise her anything without her, justifiably, doubting him. 

"I don't want to leave you," Carmen offered, his voice carrying a mixture of sincerity and vulnerability. It was the most honest response he could offer at that moment. He couldn't guarantee that he wouldn't feel the urge to run, to escape when things got tough, but he had a genuine desire to stay. 

Y/n's eyes met Carmen's, her expression softened. She knew it wasn't a perfect answer, but it was a step forward. It was enough to know that he acknowledged his own complexities and still chose to be present with her.

They stood in the quiet watching neighbors turn off their living room lights and go upstairs. She wanted to test out whether, “They could talk about whatever they wanted too.” 

“What do you think they’re doing?” Y/n asked, Carmen parted his lips and turned his face to look at y/n so see if she was serious, she was.

“I think they go to bed and she has this super long night time routine and he is already asleep by the time she gets to bed. You?” Y/n knew that if they ever slept over at each other’s place, that’s exactly what would happen between them. 

“She probably got home from a shit day and she starts reading an easy romance book…Do you read any books?”

“They are mostly cooking stuff.” He took a drag from his cigarette.

“You read cookbooks for entertainment?”

“Sometimes, it's a part of the craft.” Carmen realized how fucking pretentious he sounded and was a bit ashamed but seeing y/n refrain from teasing him by bitting her lips made him not want to crawl into a hole and die of shame, her smile was addicting. “…but there is a lot of history and science too. '' Carmen knew he sucked at conversation but he would do anything to keep talking. 

“What was your last book?” 

Y/n and Carmen kept talking till they lost track of time and eventually when they had reached a comfortable lull, y/n could confidently say that they were in fact capable of holding a conversation about mundane shit. 

Against every fiber of her being telling her to end their conversation like this, she couldn’t help but ask, “What happens…if this ends?” Y/n didn’t know if she was supposed to use “if” or “when”; one was cautious, the other was a prophecy. 

Carmen didn’t look back at her, instead giving her, “You’ll still have a job…I’m not a dick…all the time.” Y/n lips curved upwards. 

“Will you be able to work with someone you’ve been in a relationship with?” 

“Yes.” Carmen wondered if the answer could ever be anything other than yes. 

Y/n knew that if this ended badly she would be allowed to stick around so that Carmen would have an excuse to throw himself at his work. She would be the catalyst to merge him from an individual to a vague reflection of Micheal’s legacy. 

Whether or not Carmen knew it, Micheal was a huge influence in his life and just like Micheal began to isolate himself towards the end, Carmen would do the same if they drifted apart. It was his inherent weakness and a relationship gone sour that would make it difficult for him to break the cycle that Micheal had started. 

“I won’t stay if it hurts you, Carmen.”

“I would want you to stay, y/n.”

“There is no trophy that comes with going through unnecessary shit.”

“I know, I would still need you.” Carmen hesitated but eventually placed his hand top on y/n's. 

“Because I can do the books?” Y/n rolled her eyes jokingly. 

“No…you do more than that. You are…” Carmen read books with a shit ton of adjectives, they had to be descriptive to describe food through text. Despite that, he was at a loss for words to describe her.

"You are..." he began again, this time his voice was a little gentler than before. He took a deep breath, hoping that he could find those words that would express everything he felt.

"You are very important to me,". His voice was soft like he was realizing this for the first time. 

The second time was meant for y/n, "You are very important to me."  I love you, y/n. 

Y/n locked eyes with Carmen for a moment. 

"You are important to me too." I love you, Carmen.

Neither of them had the courage to say that to each other, wondering if they were the only one’s feeling like this. 

They both had jackets on but y/n’s hands were freezing and she could feel Carmen’s hand was also ice cold. She knew that they had both reached their limits but y/n couldn’t help but relish in the cold for a bit longer. 

For y/n, the biting cold was always a catalyst for clarity, stripping away the unnecessary and forcing y/n to distill her focus onto the few things that mattered. Amidst the frost, she found solace in the simplicity. It was within this chilling environment that she discovered a clear chance to confront her inner turmoil head-on and confront the world. 

Carmen had always been drawn to the intense heat. It was as if the scorching temperatures matched the fire that burned within him, igniting his passion and driving him forward but leaving him with nothing to look back on. Extreme heat was his poison of choice, his way of confronting the world. 

Carmen’s heat was turning her mind into a messy slurry of slush. Y/n had to force herself to focus despite the fact that Carmen’s hand was providing her with a sliver of intoxicating  warmth.

“You didn’t ask me to be your girlfriend.” Carmen’s head shot up aback by y/n's words. He was excited to introduce her to his family, and he hadn't thought to ask her permission first. He tried to explain himself, his words coming out in a rush.

"I didn't mean to assume anything. I just thought that since we've been seeing each other for a while now, it was... " He took a moment to catch his breath, trying to gather his thoughts.

“I think you should try asking first.” Carmen stared at y/n not knowing if this was a trap to get rejected twice. He opted for silence.

“Carmen, ask me if I want to be your girlfriend?” Carmen didn't want to say the wrong thing, not when it was so important, for someone so important. Carmen trusted y/n so he stubbed his cigarette on the ashtray before taking a deep breath and asking, “Will you be my girlfriend, y/n.” 

Y/n wrapped her freezing hands around his neck accidentally grazing her finger on his neck making him shiver. She leaned in against his lip and even though they had kissed before this, Carmen felt like he couldn’t think. Y/n lips barely touching Carmen’s before whispering a soft, “Yes, Carmy.” 

Carmen closed the small gap between their lips. And y/n felt a gentle heat seep through the folds of her head making it difficult to focus on her freezing fingers, or her numb toes, or her goosebump riddled legs, or her shivering arms. Y/n felt Carmen pull her closer and even though they were as close as physically possible, it wasn’t enough. Carmen’s lips left y/n’s before trailing down the column of her neck, y/n could feel the blossoming of heat radiate from his lips. Y/n’s hands sank down to Carmen’s waist and slowly drifted up his shirt. The cold sent shivers down his spine as y/n’s hands moved at a glacial pace. 

Just as Carmen reached the collar of her jacket he looked up at her and y/n had to resist every irrational and reckless part of her that told her to continue. The realization that they were on Carmen’s sister’s porch made y/n look around to ground herself. She landed on a black box right near the door before looking back to Carmen with her mouth agape and her eyes wide open. 

“What?” Carmen questioned with furrowed eyebrows.

“We are on your sister's porch.” Y/n said with a thousand yard stare and a distant mutter.

“I’m not a fucking animal, obviously we aren’t going to do this here.” Y/n softly grasped Carmen’s face before turning towards the black box, a doorbell camera. 

“Jesus…fuck.” They both looked at each other before y/n scrambled inside with Carmen right behind her. Either they were caught and they had to face Natalie despite the embarrassment or they got to the footage before Natalie saw it.  

Y/n let Carmen lead her to Natalie’s room, who thankfully was still laying on her side, Pete had gone to the restroom. 

Y/n leaned up to Carmen before whispering, “Distract her.” Carmen sat near Natalie and asked her if she wanted some ginger-ale or if he should stop by a pharmacy. 

Natalie's phone was on the nightstand and y/n swiped it when Natalie wasn’t looking before unlocking her phone with the password she acquired from being noisy. She then deleted the footage of the last hour from her Ring app. Y/n wanted to scroll back a few months to watch Carmen call her for the first time but she didn’t have enough time. 

Y/n set the phone exactly how she found it and gave Carmen a subtle thumbs up. 

“I’m fine, I think I need to sleep this off.” Natalie sat up while glancing at y/n and y/n had to resist freezing like a criminal caught in the spotlight. 

“I’m really sorry-” Natalie started.

“Please don’t be. I had a great time. Is there anything we can do for you before we leave?” Y/n felt bad for taking advantage of Natalie’s pregnancy induced sickness but this was a matter of prestige, she wouldn’t be able to set foot in this house if Natalie ever saw the footage.  

Natalie shook her head no and they said their goodbye’s before Camren and y/n practically tripped over themselves running out of that house. They sprinted to the car and slammed the doors shut before bursting out laughing. Y/n felt like she was a teenager again, sneaking her boyfriend out the fire escape before her mom walked in. Carmen pushed his forehead into the steering wheel to laugh and the sound that echoed felt like it was melting itself into y/n’s brain, forever branded into her memory. 

“How many times have you been here, Carmen? You never noticed the fucking camera, you dick?” Y/n struggled to shake off the heat that pulsed up her body, Camren hadn’t even started the car yet and she was burning up. 

“I…I never looked, what kind of freak looks?”Carmen said in between laughs. Y/n gave him a fake look of disapproval.

“Turn the car on, Berzatto, you’re getting on my fucking nerves.”

Carmen turned on his car before pulling out of Natalie’s driveway, he was still snickering and in the streetlight y/n could see his neck turn bright red. 

“Stop by a CVS or something.” Y/n said while fiddling with the radio.

“You think you caught something from Nat.” Y/n resisted telling him that pregnancy wasn’t contagious, men are so fucking stupid. 

“You have condoms on you?” Carmen slammed on the break, lucky they were at a red light.

“N...no.” Scarlet crawled up his neck and up his face. Y/n didn’t know someone’s ears could ever get that red before. Carmen stayed still trying to collect his fractured thoughts. 

“It's green, Carmen.”

He stepped on the gas and y/n was glad that the roads were practically empty because he was driving like he had all the insurance in the world. He pulled over to a Walgreens and ran out of the car. Y/n shook her head at his shit parking, he was in between two spots. Carmen came back in a minute with a plastic bag, y/n could decipher from the shapes that he had also bought some gatorades too. 

Carmen pulled out of the parking lot.

Y/n didn’t recognize the streets on their ride back, “Your place?” 

“Mine is closer.” Carmen replied, his voice tinged with a mix of anticipation.

Y/n could help but giggle, she always loved it when he was desperate. She knew it was wrong, but she always felt such a rush of excitement when her control over him was at its pinnacle and they both knew it.

When they reached a stop sign, y/n glanced over at Camren and saw that he was already looking back at her. 

They couldn’t seem to care that they were wading in uncharted waters and they couldn’t convince themselves that this was going to end badly enough for them to not at least try. If they looked at each other like that, there was no way they were going to let each other go. 

__

End Notes:

Fire + Ice = Vapor; It took me an embarrassing amount of time to think of that.

There is a lot of tension and maturity that needs to be written in smut for it to be good and I just can’t do that. I tried for this one and I had to close my laptop and take a lap because the second hand embarrassment was too much. So those drafts have been deleted and I’m glad I never have to see them again. 

I didn't think people would like Turbulence, I was going to delete it after a few hours and just keep it to myself but i'm glad that people liked it so ig it's here to stay. I tried to keep this one more contained then Turbulence bc writing about multiple days is such a pain.

I really don’t know what else I might write about for these two, or in general, so if you have any suggestions feel free to send them to me. If your suggestion inspires me, you better believe that I'm going to get out of bed at 2 in the morning and start writing. Or we can bury these two in a shallow grave and forget they exist, which is also fine by me because I think fic aged me.

[lbulldesigns]

Proof that Jinx Ziggs has a heart

I'm currently writing the first chapter of my Jinx!Ironman AU fic ❤️❤️❤️

I don't have an estimate of when it will be finished just yet because I keep going back and rewriting and editing as I go, but as soon as I finish I'll be announcing it here on Tumblr.

In the meantime, here is a list of character that I've come up with so far:

Powder "Jinx" Ziggs -

Jinx is obviously playing Tony Stark. There are some diversions from Tony Stark's character. For one, Jinx will still have her family and is a single mother to Isha. She is somewhat estranged from her family because of her busy lifestyle.

She also has a history of struggling with psychosis and is prone to auditory hallucinations but has made leaps and bounds in handling her condition.

Another diversion is that she built up her wealth independently, unlike Tony, who came from generational wealth.

Her company is called Jinx Industries, and even though her legal name is Powder, she prefers to be called Jinx.

She also prefers to go by her birth parent's names, because she's scared that their name will be gone forever if she doesn't go by it.

Isha Connie Ziggs -

Is Jinx's biological daughter, she was conceived by accident when her mother's gynecologist messed up their schedule and impregnated Jinx instead of inserting an IUD. Jinx used the settlement from suing the clinic to invest in her company. She also doesn't know who the sperm donor is, but that information will be coming to light later on in the story.

Jinx does what she can to keep Isha out of the public eye, for her own safety and to try and give her a somewhat normal childhood.

Isha absolutely loves her mother, and bugs ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Sevika Wafiya -

Sevika was a close friend to Felicia during her pregnancy with Jinx, and became Jinx's godmother when she was born.

She has been by Jinx's side her whole life, and they act more like sisters than mother and daughter. They are constantly butting heads. However, when Jinx needs advice or needs help cleaning up a mess, Sevika is who she'll go to.

When Jinx started her business, Sevika was the one to step in and help her get it up and running.

Her role in the company now is basically as a Jack of all trades. She runs the security in Jinx Industries, steps in and fills in for Jinx when Jinx isn't available such as when she doesn't turn up to claim an award or just decides to skip an important interview, and keeps things running smoothly alongside Lux.

When Jinx went missing, she organized for Isha to be sent to her family for safekeeping and got to work making sure that some of the more greedy board members didn't take Jinx's absence as an opportunity to grab the CEO seat.

She is loyal to Jinx.

Yasuo Hiraoka (I don't know Yasuo's full name in LoL, so I came up with one myself) -

Yasuo is Isha's personal bodyguard, Jinx hired him after a kidnapping attempt when Isha was four. Jinx and Sevika didn't play around with Isha's safety and sought out a former assassin to keep the little girl safe.

Yasuo is a very patient man and has developed a mild obsession with Animal Crossing. He and Isha play together often.

He is extremely protective of Isha.

Luxanna Crownsguard -

Lux is Jinx's personal assistant, she basically plays the role of Pepper Potts but isn't a romantic interest. Her and Jinx are best friends, and she is Isha's godmother.

Lux was disowned by her family for being an Inhuman and was given a job by Jinx, she takes her duties seriously and is one of the only people who can handle Jinx.

Vi Kirraman -

Vi is married to Caitlyn, and is a former Enforcer. She quit after a near death experience on the job and realized that she actually really hated her work and wanted to do something different with her life.

She opened her own gym that mostly caters to Enforcers, soldiers, MMA fighters, and so on.

She's currently working from home, due to reasons.

Caitlyn Kirraman -

Caitlyn is the Commander of the Twin City Forces and basically plays the role of Rhodey in this AU, she was previously an Enforcer but transferred over to the Twin City Forces when it was established as a means to draw Zaun and Piltover closer together.

She works quite a bit with Jinx, they used to be at each others throats but have somehow managed to form a solid friendship over the years. Caitlyn is Jinx's only real connection to the rest of her family.

She is career-driven and a bit of a workaholic but tries to make time for her family as they are extremely important to her.

When Jinx goes missing, she jumps right into action and is determined to bring her sister-in-law home to her family.

Mylo Lanes -

Owns several businesses in fashion, locksmithing, and even a dive bar.

He is currently single but is in the process of courting Gert, a DJ who works closely with The Chemical Sisters.

Claggor Lanes -

Is a botanist, who is working on improving Zaun's air quality using plants (much like his S2E7 AU self). He works closely with Ekko.

Claggor has his own daughter, named Cleo who is four-years-old. Cleo's mother is Sona Buvelle (I read a Star Guardians fic once where her and Claggor were sweet on each other, and just had to get them together for this one <3).

Sona Buvelle -

Is a virtuoso, and Inhuman. Who is engaged to Claggor Lanes, who she shares a four-year-old daughter with. She plays in the Piltover Grand Orchestre, on the high harp and grand piano, and is well renowned for her beautiful music.

Ekko Bennett -

Is Jinx's ex-best friend and ex-lover, they were never actually official but were close enough. They had a falling out due to miscommunication, and some meddling from Ekko's birth parents who thought knew what was best for their son, despite not being very present in his life. Due to this meddling, Ekko and Jinx had a falling out resulting in Jinx moving overseas, to Bilgewater, and cutting contact with Ekko.

When Ekko found out about the meddling he cut contact with his parents, and tried to get in contact with Jinx but it was too late.

He threw himself into his work in physics, engineering, and bio-engineering. He works tirelessly to improve the environmental status of Zaun with Claggor, and spends a lot of his free time working with the community and following Jinx's work even though he doesn't approve of her weapons manufacturing.

He suspects that Isha might be his daughter, and is pissed with Jinx for keeping him away.

There's still a bit more world-building to be done, but here are a few things to keep in mind:

The AU is set in Runetrra not Earth

Yordles, Vasteyans, Chireans, and other magical beings in LoL are citizens

Magic is a thing, but it isn't commercialized

Hex-Tech is a controversial technology

Piltover and Zaun are separate states but Piltover is constantly working on trying to merge with Zaun again

And, Vander and Silco's relationship is a great big question mark to everyone, they keep calling each other brothers but live together and raise four kids together and are always touchy-feely.

Anyhoo, this is what I have so far. I tried not to give away to much here because I want to leave some mystery for the actual story.

[cloudluvrrr]

"...I'm like your mother" Dan Heng x reader

minilial - asked: "Dan Heng with lazy reader so he would always act like a nagging mother and often scold reader"

--

why r the ones w black hair and emo the most put together cahracters dude (and the ones i want)

anyways HERE YOU GO POOKIE 💞

-- in the afternoon - the cardigans

-

you two were and unlikely pair, the most lazy and clumsy person (you) and dan heng the quiet rational one on the express.

-when he sees you lazing (wtf i s that a word) around he'll wack you with paper and drag you along with him to organize the archives (yay)

"this isn't fair" you huffed organizing the information he'd given you form penacony. "just do it, you have nothing better to do" he replied reading a book on the floor. "well your reading a book!" you mocked looking over at him "because I finished all my work, what have you done besides play game on your phone?" he said looking up at you. ".." with nothing to say you returned to your work, mocking him and grumbling under your breath.

-Even though neither of you have energy you two squabble a lot

-often about you doing nothing while he does all the work

-but he loves you beneath all that scolding and hitting

-he'll show it through buying you trinkets 😜or food (both r good)

-

you two were cuddling in YOUR bed (bc he sleeps on the floor like a weirdo) he read a book as you loosely followed along, before he remembered something. "hey did you clean the hallway like i asked" he asked looking over at you, soon realizing you forgot and looked away. "..yes" "don't lie to me, do i have to lock your phone away again. "WHAT NO" immediately getting up to do as your told.

"...I'm like your mother, telling you what to do" he said watching you get up. upon hearing this you stuck your tongue out and went to clean the hall.

-like i said before he often wacks you on the head, or tugs at your cheek/ear.

-when everyone else is gone though he'll kiss your cheek and rub it

'you dont listen to me, its for your own good'

'your not my mom your my boyfriend'

'.....'

-well more often than not he'll find you laying on the couch or sleeping, which he will drag you, and make you help him do something.

-that or he'll scold you for being on your phone too much

-and then you'll insult his phone case

-which ends up in him confiscating your phone and making you read

-but he loves you really, he can't really show it. But when your sleeping he will tuck you in and kiss your forehead. Or leave you credits to spend where ever the express is parked

-its when your awake where the problem begins

'i hate you' you grumble cleaning the windows alongside him

'you love me'

'....not right now'

--

this one is short and kinda bad but I HOPE YOU ENJOYED 😭

dude i got an email from my school

I WILL NO LONGER BE FREE 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔 im old as fuck

THANK YOU FOR 24 FOLLWOERS 😭😭🥳🥳

im glad you guys like my shit posting and bad fics 😍

(btw can u guys tell hwen i post from my computer vs my phone

-- COMMETN LIKE AND SUBSCRIBE I LOV YOU

[ceo-of-sloppy-women]

No grave can hold my body down; I'll crawl home to her

chapter 5

Chapter 6

There are tables everywhere – not that it surprises you, this is a bar, after all. But they look new, untouched by the apocalypse. Someone built these recently. They’re quality, too, at least from the brief glance you manage at them. You wonder if the artisan is still around (and if they could make Sevika a dining table). Sitting amongst the tables, at the far end of the room, is a large and spacious bar with several stools in front of it. The place looks relatively deserted, apart from the blue-haired woman with her head thrown back in cackling laughter at a joke apparently cracked by the white-haired man next to her. Judging by the look on his face, the joke was far funnier than he intended it to be (if it was a joke at all). You know these two: Jinx and Ekko – they had been part of Sevika’s group on the way back. You’re about to open your mouth and call out to them when the door slams shut behind you. Jinx spins around instantly, grinning when she realizes it’s you.

“There she is, the lady of the hour!” Jinx cheers, rushing up to you and peeking her head out from behind the books. “How’s Sevika, did she –“ she switches to the other side, miming the glugging of a bottle – “Or, did big’an’scary keep her act together for the pretty lady?”

“Let me take those,” Vander says, picking up the stack from your arms with ease. You hadn’t even seen him polishing tables to your right.

“Sevika was… nice. We had a little mead, talked about some things, and I finally had a proper shower since this whole shit show started,” you inform Jinx, who giggles in delight.

“Did she mention her bees? Did she?!” Jinx has a manic smile on her face, clapping her hands when you nod. “Wonderful! You know, she and Grayson worked on their hives for ages. Had to get them just right – Sevika kept complaining the bees didn’t like them, so they weren’t producing as much honey. Turns out, she was kind of right – I mean they do produce more honey nowadays, so she’s gotta have been right.”

“Who’s Grayson?” you ask, following Jinx as she weaves through tables back to the bar.

Jinx spins on her heel and gapes at you for a moment: “Grayson! You know – organizer of patrols and all things safety. Spends her time making chairs, tables, fences and anything else wooden that needs doing. She helped us raise the barn! Any of this ringing a bell? Anything??”

“It’s all new to me. Sevika didn���t really mention much about how things function around here, or specifics about the bees. She did promise to show me them later.”

Jinx snorts a little. “Didn’t do much talking with broodin’ and beautiful, eh? Got too distracted by –“ she puts her fingers together, miming scissoring. You flush bright red.

“JINX! Stop distracting our new friend. She has enough on her plate, and you have a job to do today!” Silco calls from the landing of the staircase, hands on his hips.

“Sorry,” Jinx sing songs, downing her drink from the bar in one gulp. “We’ll go, we’ll go. Ekko’s got a new house for me to blow up anyway!”

You grab her arm as she’s passing by you: “We didn’t. Sevika and I are just… friends.”

“Whatever you say, toots! You can’t fool me, though – she doesn’t let just anyone stay with her. Or bring her to heel like that,” Jinx giggles, shrugging off your hand easily. She throws her arm over Ekko and grins at him: “Now, what do you say? Wanna to see how much I can explode today?”

Ekko rolls his eyes with a playful smile, allowing her to lead him out the door: “You know that’s not what we’re doing.”

“Can’t a lady have a little fun?” Jinx whines as Ekko pushes the door open and leaves you standing in the bar.

“Come on, Silco’s going to get his panties in a knot if we make him wait any longer,” Vander jokes next to you, nudging you with his elbow.

“I can take some books if you want, I know it’s a lot to carry,” you offer, following after him toward the second floor of the bar.

“I’ve got it,” he simply says, leading you upstairs.

Silco has already left the landing. You find him in his office, sitting behind a large desk in a refurbished chair with a back far too high to be anything less than extravagant. Dirty, stained windows sit behind him, giving just the barest glimpse out into the streets. Vander sets the books down on the coffee table, and Silco huffs, getting up and walking around his desk to take a seat on one of the couches instead. You sit on the couch opposite to the two of them, picking up your book off the top of the pile and placing it carefully on the coffee table. The table looks to be new – a lot of the furniture in the room does, especially the bookshelves lining the walls.

“Is this Grayson’s work as well?” you ask, breaking the silence as Silco lights a cigar.

“Yes, she was a former enforcer in Piltover – used to be stationed in the neighbourhood of our original bar. It wasn’t the safest area, so she was constantly in and out of our doors, usually helping people who needed a place to sleep at night or a hot meal. We took a lot of them in. She’d bring them, stay for a drink, get to know who she was helping. When the world went to shit, she was working – helped us get out of the city with as many people as we could manage… then she helped us go back in for those we left behind,” Vander explains, a sad smile creeping across his face at the memories.

“She sounds lovely,” you say softly. Enforcers aren’t always known for being nice, especially not where you’re from.

“Oh, don’t let him paint her with rose-coloured glasses,” Silco scoffs, smoke drifting away from his lips. “She was still an enforcer. We saw her shoot an unfair amount of people, raid buildings, enable other officers – all the same shit pigs get up to. She was corrupt through and through.”

“She’s different now, though. I think the apocalypse humanized her, made her care for people – or see we’re all really equal. Not just those who can take people in and those who need to be taken in,” Vander cuts in, trying to pad out Silco’s cynicism.

Silco shrugs a little, blowing out smoke: “Apocalypse did that to all of us. Some more so than others. Now we’ve got a former enforcer making us furniture and organizing patrol routes. But that’s not what we’re here to talk about.”

“Right, sorry, just wanted to get a better grip on… everything. Zaun is a little daunting – I haven’t been around people in a long time, and to suddenly be around so many makes me uncomfortable. I mean, you guys are the first settlement that didn’t turn me away at the door – not that I tried to join many, people just like to flat-out tell you the moment you walk into the trading post where you stand and where you don’t,” you confess, ducking your head a little as you flip the pages to the table of contents.

“We will happily answer any questions for you after we finish this meeting. Or, you can ask Sevika, I’m sure she’d be happy to fill you in,” Vander offers, staring down at the upside-down table of contents. “Now, Jinx mentioned something about a windmill?”

“Oh! Right, yes – I’ve got all sorts of stuff in here, windmill included. There’s also generators, musical instruments, and penicillin. You name it, I might have it.”

“It certainly seems so,” Silco mumbles, squinting at the book as he leans closer to read it. “Let’s start with a windmill – we only have so much flour, and what we have made by ourselves has been…”

“Gritty. The bread has been foul,” Vander shudders a little, pulling a face.

“Yeah, I get that. I would probably kill for a proper loaf of bread at this point,” you agree, flipping to the windmill page.

“I’d like to copy down the medical section for our doctor, though. Singed would be quite appreciative. While he is adept, he is not trained for the apocalypse. Many of his methods have been… touch and go.”

“I can understand that; I wasn’t trained for an apocalypse either. Hell, I have a philosophy degree! The most I was trained for was an archival position before the world went to shit – which is not exactly helpful during an apocalypse. I just kind of survived on my wits, and the random courses I took during university,” you chuckle, drumming your fingers on the book pages.

“We weren’t prepared for it either. No one was,” Vander says, scratching his chin. “Let’s copy down these instructions so we can give them to the construction team. Then, we’ll need to plan out an area for our new windmill!”

“While we’re copying down instructions, perhaps it would be wise to pick out several new projects?” Silco suggests, flipping back to the table of contents.

“Sounds good to me, as long as you have the paper for it,” you agree, flipping to the generator. “How about this?”

“We have been running out of gasoline,” Vander comments, staring over Silco’s shoulder.

“And there is a nearby river that the hydroelectric power plant runs off already,” Silco hums in agreement, nodding his head. “We can probably establish a few generators in the stronger run-off streams.”

The rest of the day is filled with the three of you pouring over the book, writing down instructions for new projects that can be worked on simultaneously. In the end, they wind up with instructions for various quality-of-life improvements that could aid the entire settlement. By the end, your hand is aching from transposing every little detail, cramping up around your pen in protest. Thankfully, Silco and Vander seem impressed, offering you a glass of brandy to celebrate the success of the meeting.

You’re about to put the book away when Vander squints at one of the subsections. With a thoughtful look on his face, he flips to it, nodding along as he reads. You glance over at the page he’s reading: a printing press. It would be helpful for the settlement, especially to educate the general public and any passing traders. Books were incredibly hard to come by these days. Silco seems to pay Vander little mind until he shoots up with a grin.

“We need this too!” he announces proudly as if he’s struck gold.

“Oh?” Silco leans over to read the page. “Ah, a printing press. You’re quite right, honey –“ he kisses Vander on the cheek – “But who could we get to even run such a thing? Everyone already has their jobs. I doubt anyone would take this on.”

“I could do it,” you offer before you can help yourself. You know he’s just trying to coax you into volunteering, but running a printing press sounded fun!

“You would?” Silco cocks an eyebrow and takes a slow sip of his brandy, as if assessing you. You sit up a bit straighter. “Well Vander, I think we have found our Archivist. That is if you’re really up for the challenge. You will need to make a lot of books, everything from cookbooks to survival skills to novels. And, you will need to make your own paper – I’m sure you’re aware that paper is quite a rare commodity nowadays. Are you sure you can handle that?”

“I can! I promise!” You’re giddy with anticipation, grinning ear from ear as Vander nudges the book toward you.

“Well, write it down. Then you can take it to Grayson and ask her to build it for you. Don’t worry, we’ll pay for it – you can pay us back later once you’ve sold your first few books.”

“Really? You mean it?” you clutch your pen, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

“Of course, although this will mean you will have to put up with Sevika for longer than expected. Your printing office will take priority over a house,” Silco states, swirling his brandy contemplatively.

“Oh, don’t worry about that, I don’t mind. Sevika is… kinda nice. Last night was the safest I have felt in a long time,” you confess, rubbing the back of your neck awkwardly.

Silco arches an eyebrow at you, burying a sly grin in the rim of his glass.

“I’m sure she’ll have no complaints either. You’re the first person she’s willingly let into her house,” Vander comments, leaning back on the couch.

“I thought Jinx stayed with her a few times?”

“Oh, she did, but that was never willingly on Sevika’s part,” Vander chuckles, shaking his head. “Jinx does what she wants; no one can stop her. Unfortunately for Sevika, Jinx has grown quite attached to her.”

“Unfortunately? Jinx doesn’t seem so bad that it would be unfortunate,” you press, taking a sip of your drink.

“Ah, so you don’t know about –“ Vander starts to say.

“You should get copying – daylight’s burning, and Grayson likes to close up shop early,” Silco interjects, eliminating the conversation as he presses Vander’s glass into the other man’s hands.   

You want to ask – to press Vander further on the information, but the tight-lipped, awkward look he now sports deters you. Whatever he was about to say is probably best to hear from Sevika herself. From what you’ve seen, Sevika had never been outwardly uncomfortable with Jinx, nor had she spoken ill of her. Not that she’s outwardly friendly with her, either. Yet, Jinx’s comment about Sevika’s arm rings in your ears: “Clean off.” You’d seen Sevika’s arm; it hadn’t looked blown off… it looked cut.

What weren’t they telling you? And why was it so important everyone dodged the topic as if it would burn them?

You copy the instructions for the printing press quickly; there are some supplies you’re not sure that the settlement has. Someone’s going to have to make a supply run at some point. Perhaps you can convince them to take you along, that way, you can grab exactly what you need. Maybe even some old books you can reprint – novels that people could enjoy. Maybe there are even some authors in the settlement willing to publish their work…

“Finished,” you state, closing the book.

“Excellent. Vander will escort you to Grayson, since you don’t know your way around yet. This will most likely take some time to assemble. In the meantime, you will be assigned various tasks around the settlement – everyone carries their own weight. I hear from Vander you held your own against infected?”

“More or less. Sevika saved me from a horde of them in a supermarket, but I can take one or two on my own without much struggle.”

Silco nods his head and finishes his drink: “For now, then, stick with Sevika. She’s been in need of a patrol partner for quite some time – her last one met an unfortunate demise to a belcher. I hope that’s not too much to ask?”

You grimace. Belchers are a fourth-stage infected: eventually, your insides rot away and turn to sludge, which is expelled from your body in a disgusting substance. Make the mistake of swallowing any (or getting it on an open wound), and you’ll find yourself infected as assuredly as a bite. Unfortunately, given the acidic nature of the belcher’s “contents,” it burns away at the body as well, making the infection process painful and grotesque. On the plus side, infected Belcher victims are often easier to kill due to their weakened state.

“I’m happy to tag along with her.”

“Perfect. Well then, get going, daylight is waning,” Silco announces, standing from his seat and ushering you up as well.

“Right, of course – thank you. For all of this. This is a wonderful opportunity, and I won’t let you down; I promise!”

Vander chuckles and ruffles your hair: “Relax, we’re not going to throw you out on your ass. Sevika would have a fit – and even if she wouldn’t, you’re one of us now. Get used to it.”

“Thank you,” you mumble again, ducking your head with a shy smile.

“Of course, we protect our own. Leave your book here, though. We aren’t taking it, but it will be safer in the Last Drop than stashed in Sevika’s home. If anyone comes looking for it, at least it won’t put the two of you at risk. Though the journals…” Silco trails off, eyeing the stack of journals.

“They’re for Singed! You mentioned how he enjoyed the spare notes I had – well these ones are copies of my observations on the infected. I tried to record them in case… actually, I’m not quite sure I have an exact reason. It just felt wrong not to record any information I could about them, in case someone was developing a cure.”

“Well, you’re in luck! Singed is working on a cure, and he will find these incredibly helpful. He was a scientist before everything went down the drain,” Silco informs you, picking up the first one and flipping through it. “Pictures too… good.”

“I’m glad I can help – hopefully, there’s something in there that can help with a cure. It… kinda feels weird to know someone so close by is working on a cure. Let alone that my journals could even possibly be helpful. A cure always felt like a fever dream…”

“With any luck, that dream will become reality soon enough,” Silco says, shutting the book. “Now, you should hurry over to Grayson’s. I’ve got work to do now – this settlement doesn’t organize itself.”

“Of course, thank you for this, again. It’s really something special. Good luck with your work, and thank you for the printing press. I’m saying thank you too many times! Okay, uh, yeah, I’m going to go before I say it again,” you chuckle nervously and head for the door, printing press instructions clutched in your hand.

“Take care!” Silco calls after you as he takes a seat at his desk.

Vander follows you out of the office and into the street. The bar is full of patrons now, bustling with life and laughter. You stick close to Vander, all but taking his hand in the vain effort to keep yourself calm. Adjusting to the influx of people seems to be a far more daunting task than you had initially hoped. Thankfully, Vander makes polite conversation about your life before the apocalypse as he leads you to Grayson’s, distracting you from the chaos. It helps you adjust to the expanding crowd – while the day has gone on, the breakfast rush has turned into the afternoon rush as people bustle from one building to the next. There’s even a diner a little way down the street opening its doors for customers, and a few food stands that overwhelm your senses with smells you haven’t even dared dream of for years. Your mouth waters a little, but you keep it to yourself, not wanting to put Vander out because you definitely don’t have any money on you. Instead, you follow him a few buildings down to a small storefront. The windows have been scrubbed free of dirt, with a freshly painted sign adorning them: Grayson’s Handcrafted Furniture.

Vander holds the door open for you, a tiny bell ringing. You step inside, ducking under his arm, and take in the storefront. The room is full of tables, chairs, shelves, dressers, cabinets – anything that could possibly be made out of wood is laid out on the shop floor. In the back, an older woman with a strong jaw, sharp cheekbones and a quirked eyebrow observes the two of you curiously. You swallow thickly – she’s undeniably beautiful, even as she fixes you with an almost scrutinizing gaze.

“Vander, to what do I owe the pleasure?” Grayson asks as Vander leads you over to the counter.

“This one here has a special commission to place. We need you to build a printing press for Zaun,” Vander informs her, patting your shoulder.

“A printing press? I wasn’t aware we had anyone who knew how to make those,” Grayson says, dragging her eyes up and down you in a slow, deliberate assessment. “Does this have something to do with the new woman I’ve been hearing about? The one that Sevika brought back with her, that is.”

“That would be me!” You speak up, informing her of your name.

“Ah, it’s nice to finally put a face to the rumours,” Grayson hums, holding you captive with stern yet delicate eye contact. “So… tell me about this printing press you need from me.”

“I have the instructions to build one here –“ you place them on the counter – “Silco and Vander mentioned you were the best furniture artisan in town. I was hoping to commission your services.”

Grayson hums, looking over the copied notes: “Always the flatterer, that one… This seems reasonable enough. I can have this done for you in a few weeks. Acquiring specific parts will be difficult, and there are some that I will need Jayce to make for me.”

“What kind of price am I looking at?” you ask as Vander leans against the counter, lighting a pipe.

“Considering this is for the benefit of the settlement…” Grayson holds her chin and stares at the page for a long moment, then back at you, making you squirm under her hard gaze before making a satisfied hum: “It’s free of charge.”

You gawk at her, unable to find the words. Sevika letting you stay at her place was one thing, but you could see the price tags on the pieces around you. They went for hefty sums – no doubt a commission would cost far more! Yet she’s willing to do this one for free?!

“Grayson, we can –“ Vander starts, whipping around in shock.

She holds up a hand and smiles: “I know you have the money, but it’s not necessary. I make enough from furniture that I can take on a few commissions for free. On one condition…”

“What is it?” you pipe up, snapping out of your speechless state.

“You print a few trashy romance novels. The world has finally slowed to a crawl to let me read more, and I find myself without anything to read,” Grayson sighs as if this is a deep, troubling concern of hers. She rubs the bridge of her nose before continuing: “They do not have to be very long or fancy, but I have a few that I can’t even open without the pages crumbling on me. If you promise to reprint them, I will consider this a fair trade.”

“I can absolutely do that,” you agree quickly, beaming at her. “I used to be an archivist; I know a thing or two about handling books delicately. Besides, there’s nothing better than a trashy romance novel once in a while.”

“I’m glad we’re in agreement,” Grayson says, picking up a stamp from the organizer next to her. She presses it against a blank portion of the paper, leaving behind a mark that reads ‘accepted.’ “Your printing press will be ready in a few weeks. Where should I send the notification of completion to?”

“Uh, Sevika’s residence. The printing shop is taking priority over finding me a house,” you answer, trying to play it off as if it’s nothing.

However, Grayson quirks an eyebrow up, regarding you more closely. She opens her mouth to speak when the door to the shop swings open and cuts her off. You turn around to see Sevika standing there, looking equal bits, annoyed and relieved. She sighs, placing her hand on her hip.

“There you are! Next time, leave a message at the bar before running off,” Sevika grumbles, not quite meeting your gaze. She shifts awkwardly, something clearly on the tip of her tongue she was refusing to speak.

“Sorry, I thought we’d be done before you and I could get back to the bar in time,” you admit, crossing the room to stand in front of her. “I didn’t mean to worry you… but I’m grateful that you did worry.”

“Yeah, yeah, suck up all you’d like. Still annoyed with you,” Sevika huffs, glaring down at you.

“Why don’t you two go get something to eat, I’ll finish up here?” Vander suggests from the counter, taking a puff of his pipe.

“We’re done here anyway – Vander and I just have a few things to discuss about other commissions,” Grayson adds, levelling her gaze to yours. “Feel free to say hello if you see me around Zaun, darling.”

“I – uh – will do – thank you for your generosity,” you squeak, blush creeping up on your cheeks.

“Come on, I’m hungry,” Sevika growls, grabbing your arm and dragging you out the door. You allow yourself to be dragged out, waving at Vander and Grayson politely as you rush to keep up with Sevika’s hurried footfalls.

[mleprae]

LEPROSY 101

that I spent almost a week writing for my seminar, I simplified as much as I could 😭 the original text is WAYYY too long for a 20 mins presentation, so this is the ADHD version

WHY? Maybe you want to chuck leprosy facts at people. I dunno

WHAT IS IT? NOT a skin disease and NOT a neurological one either, it is considered a 'granulomatous' disease. A granuloma is when a bunch of immune cells form a barrier around a foreign object that they cannot destroy! If you ever had a piercing or had a wood barb and you got a little red bump around the area, congrats, you had a granuloma! There are many different types of granulomas for different situations. It also forms plaques (itchy, red lesions that 'flake off') and macules (small patches of skin that lost it melanin), there are many types of these lesions! But the ones that are unique to leprosy are the ones called 'Saucer right way up' and 'Swiss cheese lesion'

WHERE DID IT COME FROM? So many theories so many ideas, the boring one? Africa, like many diseases have. The popular one? Asia and middle east, leprosy is a ""tropical"" disease, there are a few theories to explain how a "tropical" disease managed to get to Europe in the first place, the most favored one is that it got spread by crusaders after the first crusade, given that leprosy was estabilished around that trail.

I'm not a historian, so I only regurgitate what I know, and what I DO know is that before that, a bacteria went through speciation; which is when an species divides into 2 different species. One, went to become the deadliest, infectious, and most aggressive disease known to man and the other one was leprosy.

Tuberculosis and leprosy are each other closest relatives, they share a lot of genetic information together and they sometimes co-infect the same host, they are very close! How cute.

WHAT'S THE DIFFERENCE? Mycobacteria have around 100 known members, they are, VERY good at surviving, except for leprosy who's the 'odd one out'. Leprosy has a VERY interesting strategy; it avoids the warmest places of the body and chooses the coldest regions... this is why I put "tropical" in quotations, it doesn't like warmth at all!

It will always, whenever possible, choose to colonize the coldest body parts; The skin, the eyes, nose and ears, the nerves, the testicles and the lung mucosa. (That's the wet and slimy part of your lungs!) This is important to note, other members of the Mycobacteria do just fine in warmer places, it's just leprosy that does this and reason is, to put it a bit vulgarly, is that this little Bacteria is, a pussy and a coward. The colder a tissue is, the less blood it receives, the less blood it receives, the smaller the traffic of immune cells! Your blood is a highway of patrolling soldiers, and leprosy became REALLY good at avoiding these highways, because it knows that warmth attracts them. The better example is the testicles and the nervous system, those two guys are what we call 'Immunoprivileged', some organs are so complex that they cannot regenerate, any damage to them is permanent! This means that the immune system has to act very carefully when threading around these parts, and even then, only very specific cells can act there. Leprosy knows this, and it targets the nerves and the testes because it knows that the immune system can do jack shit to it while it's there.

The warmth, again, is what deters it from going deeper into the body, you may have heard that leprosy causes loss of sensation, which is true, we call it 'Glove and stocking neuropathy' because it only affects the arms, and down the knees. Any other part is too warm for leprosy to be comfortable in.

HOW DOES IT STARTS? We don't know exactly the reason why some people can catch leprosy and some do not, it's due to genetics, of course, but we don't know exactly. Some ethnicities are prone to it while others are more resistant, we know it's very infectious but we aren't 100% sure on how it spreads from person to person. (Most seem to agree it's airborne) Leprosy is usually neural in it's inception, meaning that the first symptoms are probably going to be related to the nerves, HOWEVER, it has been noted that lepromatous leprosy, the deadliest type, starts with constant nosebleeds and trouble breathing as well as leg swelling.

And I hear you say, yes, leprosy has types! Currently, we know 8 different types of leprosy but every now and then a new weird case pops up, and researchers argue if it's a new type or not. You don't need to memorize them, only know that lepromatous leprosy is the one you are probably familiar with.

When the population of the bacteria grows, it starts moving to other parts, the skin and eyes and what not. Sometimes it gets carried into internal organs, mostly by accident, though, but it is able to stabilish itself there since it has grown in size.

HOW THE IMMUNE SYSTEM REACTS? Complicated question, in Tuberculoid leprosy you have a very aggressive response from our little microscopic crusaders, this is where 'spotaneous recovery' can happen, this doesn't mean that leprosy is gone, just that it goes dormant after being beaten by giant angry amebas that make up our immune system.

The bacteria can only survive inside the cells of our body, so in TB leprosy, the cells that are infected with the bacteria are instructed to make their bodies more acidic, destroying any invaders they might have, they also sound the alarm so other immune cells come rushing to where leprosy was spotted and help them destroy it

In lepromatous leprosy, for reasons we don't quite understand, the immune reaction isn't led by the cells at all...? In this case, the cells also sound the alarm, but it's not one to call others to arms, no, it's the one that basically tells "RUN AWAY AND STOP FIGHTING." for unknown reasons, leprosy can make the immune system incredibly incompetent at it's job? Making the infection SO much worse in the long run.

Usually, bacteria "smell" bad, very bad. And that smell is what make immune cells so aggressive, basically sending them into a frenzy the stronger the smell is. But leprosy "smell" can make some cells very unresponsive and docile, which is something I simply never even considered possible. Ever.

WHY DO WE STILL KNOW SO LITTLE? We can't study leprosy in the laboratory... yet, it's way too dependent on us as hosts so it cannot survive outside a body for too long. This means that getting samples, and keeping the bacteria alive is too difficult. One thing that has plagued many researchers (and me, honestly.) is the diffusive lepromatous leprosy type, for reasons we don't understand, leprosy decides to dig into warmer parts of the body, or that it can REPROGRAM CELLS OF THE NERVOUS SYSTEM, which is an INSANE thing to do?!? I know I say it alot but I can't wrap my head around it, it could be used to cure Alzheimer and Parkinson's if we ever figure out how it does it !! But we just know so little, there's just not enough funding to go around.. alas.

[sadgirlglimmeringdarling]

Like clockwork Jack posted this. As soon as you post about Olivia again. 😆

Like fucking clockwork everytime.

I'm not trying to stir drama. I was simply organizing my Olivia tag on my page because I kept getting asked the same fucking questions over and over.

"Do you have pictures of Olivia with no makeup?" , "Do you have pictures of Olivia when she was younger?", "Do you have pictures of Olivia's art that she's done?" She should be flattered people are interested in her. They aren't interested in her music, but their interested in other stuff about her.

Anyway, I organized the posts, putting all the pics together (by topic) in one post, so that if anyone has a question, they can just find it in the #oliviajean hashtag here on Tumblr before they ask me the same questions again.

Lord knows nobody is doing a manuel search within my blog to search for stuff, so I put it on the public hashtag.

At the same time, I thoroughly organized posts about Jack and Olivia on my page. I deleted about 30 posts that weren't informative or really important and kept the rest.

Looking through some of the inactive Olivia Tumblr fanpages, I reblogged a few things that were interesting. I reblogged a few videos on your page. I answered your Ask about Lupus. I wasn't trying to stir shit up. I'm just doing my thing over here.

Those who follow me know I lost interest in these two lunatics after they posted their unhinged fear mongering shit on IG. I honestly couldn't care less.

Again - if Olivia and Jack only knew all the Ask's sent to my inbox that I reject, delete and never publish. If I didn't delete them, my page would be a daily shit show.

There's a reason that I answer the Asks of mostly the same people. Because some people on Tumblr just don't know how to act.

Then there's people asking the same stuff I already answered 5 years ago.

Sadly for Mr. and Mrs. White, the same can't be said of the stuff people say about them on Reddit and X. They would lose their ever loving shit reading the stuff people are saying about them on X and Reddit.

Anyway, thanks for sending me another pic of these two looking like anything but a real couple.

[natureismynature]

Oh fuck it- I did the analysis.

Anyway, I want you all to remember that this is me talking about CHARACTER MENTALITY. This is me analyzing these characters' THOUGHT PROCESSES about the whole situation.

This is not me victimizing anyone, this is not me making EXCUSES for anyone, and this is DEFINITELY not me blaming Tazercraft for the other islanders' thoughts and actions. This is just me looking at relationships and characterization.

Okay, so the whole "Tazercraft situation" is an interesting one. They were betrayed, they were forced to relive their trauma, they lost a dear friend in the process, and so many more things. And we know that the person who arrested them, Foolish, doesn't understand how severe his actions were. He did that for FUN, with little to no remorse at first. But for some reason, the Islanders aren't that mad at him? Why? Why aren't they hounding on him? Why aren't they pissed? Why aren't they trying to save Tazercraft? Why aren't they avenging them?

Well, because if you look at it, the Islanders know Foolish more than they know Tazercraft. Yes, they're all friends, but Pac e Mike aren't as, well, *close* to the other residents compared to Foolish. Yes, they organize a lot of events for all the Islanders to spend time together and have fun, but most of the time, they're building said events together rather than speaking with the others. It's not very common that Pac and Mike have deep and personal conversations with the other Islanders, but Foolish is almost always the emotional support himbo. And yeah, Foolish used to build a lot too, but lately, he's been spending more time with the others just bonding and talking and getting to know them.

My point is, almost NO ONE knows Tazercraft outside of "The guys who makes cool games and give haircuts". While everyone knows Foolish as more than "The silly guy who builds things."

The only people (that aren't Brazilian) who I can think of that are very close to Tazercraft outside of their events, are Etoiles (he wasn't informed when they were taken, he's clueless of the situation), Fit (he's the ONLY one who's truly angry at Foolish to the point of considering murder), and Foolish himself. It would be kind of hard to find a justifiable way to be very mad if you know almost nothing about the victims (and this is not me blaming Tazercraft, this is just me looking at how people in general would react to situations like this)

Now that we've talked about the Islanders' relationship with TC in general, let's talk about specifics.

Cellbit, why isn't he mad? Well, because he WANTS to believe in Foolish. He wants to TRUST in Fooish. Because they were friends first before they were in-laws. Foolish was the one who stayed by him when he was at his lowest. The one who kept him sane by being more insane than him. And if you guys remember, he's still under the impression that Foolish is doing this to protect Richas. Cellbit's SON. Plus, he BELIEVES in Tazercraft. "They got out before, they can get out again." (Also, let's not forget that he's probably a sleeper agent and was instructed not to intervene with it)

Forever, why isn't he mad? Now for this one I'm gonna talk meta. Well, similar to Cellbit, he's under the impression that Foolish is doing this for Richas. But unlike Cellbit, he's not fully convinced. ALSO unlike Cellbit, he doesn't really know Tazercraft that much, he doesn't share the same history as they do with Cellbit and Felps. Now that we've established that, let's talk meta. qForever treasures his family, we know that, but the last time he lashed out due to strong emotions, the FANDOM attacked ccForever. You think he'll act strongly again after that? He's controlling himself this time. Bidding his time, waiting for the bomb to drop, waiting for the truth to come out, so he doesn't make mistakes again.

Badboyhalo, why isn't he mad? Well, because he doesn't know Tazercraft (he often forgets who's Pac and who's Mike) and he's best friends with Foolish. As much as he wants to be impartial and fair on his judgment, he's still biased. He wants ANYTHING than to believe that Foolish is doing this by his own volition. He's trying his damn best to find anything to excuse Foolish's actions. His reaction when Foolish told him the truth was "Then why is everyone mad at you?" because to him, it's just normal Foolish behavior to sell out his friends for a gun.

Richarlyson, why isn't he mad? Because he's a literal CHILD. A child that is hopeful and loves his grandma very much. He's very close with Foolish, he copes through jokes, and has already lost so much. He doesn't want to lose his trust on Foolish too. So for now, he'll give him the benefit of a doubt.

Fit, why didn't he tell anyone that he found Pac and Mike? Well, because he could be putting his beloved son in danger if he said that. It was RAMON who asked him to keep it a secret. He has things at stake too. He cares for his friends, he's rightfully angry at Foolish, but he would never risk Ramon's life.

Jaiden, why is she siding with Foolish? Well, because she was lied to and she sees him as a trustworthy friend. She knows how it feels to be suspected by every, to be made an errand girl by the Feds. She thinks Foolish is in the same situation and wants to be there for him like many people were there for her.

Aypierre and Phil don't really have strong bonds with Pac and Mike so we can't really expect anything from them. They themselves are pretty out of touch with other players as well most of the time.

Now, let's talk about the "they would have been thrown in jail either way" sentence that the Islanders have been throwing around. They've been saying this because, well, it's the truth. No matter what, Pac and Mike would have been thrown in prison. The Islanders are just confused on why it had to be Foolish who arrested them. They all know of the illegal things that Tazercraft has been doing, and they all know what happens to people who break the rules, which is why no one was surprised when their illegal acts caught uo with them. I'd like to point out that the first person to be jailed was Maximus, and as far as the Islanders know, jail in the island isn't so bad because Max got out fine after a day. They're not AWARE of how fucked up the actual prison is because Max didn't experience what Pac and Mike did. I'm sure that if they finally see Tazercraft again and hear of the horrors they had to go through, people would be more angry and wary if anyone else gets imprisoned.

Tl;dr:

At the end of the day, it all boils down to biases and ignorance. The Islanders know nothing about the prison and they're very aware that Foolish would sell out his friends for free shit. They are not surprised about his actions because he was never shy to say he'd do anything for free things. And they are not that worried because they don't know how bad it was in the prison. They were all lied to, and they are all friends with Foolish. But I'm sure that if they hear the full story from Pac and Mike's side, they'd have a LOT to say to Foolish.

[andypantsx3]

hi andie!

do u have any tips for corporate girlies? my friend is starting out in the corp world !! and got a lot of reality checks over how harsh and 'corporate' it is :((

Ohhhhh my god yeah corporate culture sucks!! It's just a bunch of adult babies using fancy words tbh lmao, acting like we're going to war and/or curing cancer when we're really just launching a product no one wants or needs lol.

Not sure what industry your friend is or what role she's in but here are some general tips, starting with practical project tips to more personal/sanity check tips lol.

Make sure you understand your organization's goals and success criteria. This is so basic but in order to understand what leadership cares about and how all the different project components fit in, you're going to want to learn what are all the active projects, who owns them, what success is being evaluated on, and how those performance indicators are being calculated. I work with some people who have no idea what is going on (which, fair) but it ends up creating a ton of churn and can look super bad for them if they are not in step with what our corporate overlords expect from them.

Clear communication is key. Never have I ever encountered more communication issues than working in corporate; people often have one image in their head of what a task looks like where their partner teams might have another, and if you don't outline all the key details together, you could end up delivering something unusable. If you're an individual contributor (aka a task doer), make sure you ask clarifying questions of the project leads if they haven't specified (like, what testing environment something needs to be deployed to, what are the release gating procedures, what is the expected timeline, etc). If you're a project manager, make sure you're clarifying those details with stakeholders and passing that information to your team; prompt your team to ask questions even if they seem clear, and make sure you get that info for them ASAP!!

Documentation is crucial. If you make an implementation decision, document it. If you have a delivery, document it. If you have a process for anything, make sure you document it. If you have a meeting, get those notes out. If you have an agreement with stakeholders, make sure you get it in writing and get them to sign off on it!! Information is key to helping other people understand what you are doing, why you are doing it, what the expectations were from other related parties when you started doing it, and how it can be improved if needed. If you're a project lead or manager, start a folder or repository somewhere for all project communications, keep all your emails & slacks with stakeholders (because they will come back being snotheads and you can politely whip out receipts). :3

Be proactive. Observe the kinds of questions leadership asks, understand their concerns & needs. Then proactively make sure you are addressing those things in your work and/or in your reporting. For example, if you're reporting on a release failure in a weekly business review, make sure you call out things like: 1) what you tried to do to prevent failure, 2) what the ultimate blockers or root causes of failure were, 3) what your learnings were from that failure, 4) what you are going to do to fix it, and 5) what the revised ETA is. That way, even though things didn't go your way, leadership understands you are on top of things and proactively working to solve problems.

Understand priorities & tradeoffs. There will come a time where you have conflicting demands on your time. Work with your manager or org leadership to understand what projects are higher priorities than others, and do not be afraid to escalate to your manager or above if progress is threatened or if you need to clarify. For example, Project A is high priority and Project B is medium priority, but the project manager from Project B is all up in your business asking you to deliver something or investigate something that you don't know if you have time for. Loop in your manager to determine if someone else can take Project B, or inform them that doing B will impose these anticipated risks to A; are they comfortable with that? Then you can circle back to Project B to deliver the news that you're working on A, your manager has suggested this revised timeline or other POC they can work with, and if they have concerns they can escalate. (Usually this shuts ppl up :3)

Improve processes. I cannot emphasize this enough but try to think about how to do things better the next time around, even if things went solidly to plan. Do not get defensive about your work or the quality of your work; always be thinking (or asking other people) about how time could be cut off of something, what processes could be put in place to minimize touchpoints or decrease risks. If you can, try to impose this mindset on your team & ask for project retrospectives, and take specific action items out of those retrospectives! Trust me it makes things so much clearer and easier in the long run if you work to make things better over time!!

Get a mentor. Find someone who has the job you want to have or who seems to know the things you want to know about and ask them to work with you on that! Tell them what your goal is, whether to develop a special skill set to move roles, or develop a specific understanding of a project or concept, and ask them to help you develop a plan to get there. Set up regular time together and goals to work towards in that time. This helps you learn things faster and gives you someone who can vouch for you when it comes time for yearly feedback, role changes, or promotions.

Create a personal portfolio. Keep track of all the things that you do; all the projects you are on, what your role is, what you were responsible for delivering, and what resources you created as part of that, whether it's project wikis, some script, etc. Keep your manager aware of it so they understand your value and have visibility on your work; you can leverage this when it comes time for role changes or promotions. Additionally try to make sure you're working on high viz or high value projects; this gives you even more leverage!!

Do not tie your self worth to your performance or your job title. At the end of the day capitalism sucks, corporations are evil, and none of this shit matters. Even if you don't do something well once, you can improve in the future, and even if your company doesn't see it/isn't a good match for your skills, you have value!!! They profit from keeping you underpaid, stressed out, and dejected, but you are not just a 'resource' or a cog in a machine. You are a person; you will make missteps from time to time but you bring more value to this planet and the people on it just by existing than these capitalist enterprises could ever. Do do not burn yourself out trying to please them, keep yourself open to other job options, and make sure you have a good friend/family support structure in place to reality check you!!

Idk how helpful this was but I hope there was a little something in there that your friend could use. If she has specific questions on anything I'm happy to help out too lol; that might give me more idea what specific aspect she is struggling with & how to help!

[14dyh]

17 from the new list? hange getting rejected

Get Over Her | H.Z.

Pairing: Hange Zoë x gn!reader Summary: You helped Hange get over their rejection. Word count: 1.0k A/N: sorry anon i can't write about y/n themself rejecting hange so this happened :"")

It would have been impossible for you to miss it when Hange acts strangely– even for themselves. Being roommates for over a year, you've known how they take their coffee differently in the morning, never miss checking on Science Daily to tell you something fascinating, or how their footsteps sound when they're trying not to wake you up at night. 

You know Hange. 

Their pain wouldn't pass over your eyes and the way they ruminate in an excruciating manner that you're starting to feel the headache for them. It began with the rejection that happened weeks ago. Hange just came home, throwing over the flowers they failed to give in an empty bin and refused to say anything other than they got rejected, that's all, just kinda unfortunate this time, right? You knew better and recognized right away how the rejection slowly deteriorates them from the inside, even if they're trying to laugh it off by dousing those flowers with an organic-based chemical that speeds up the composting process (as Hange happily announced to you). At some point, you had to try and rip them away from that cruel cycle of never admitting their pain. Sometimes you would spend hours in the arcade, pull them along the quiet garden on the riverside to watch ducks, or watch plays and movies until you both pass out on the couch. From those moments, you managed to glimpse the sparkle in their eyes again which they lost a day later after seeing her. 

You want to shake Hange into reality and yell at them to get over her. But how can you manage to do such a thing when she looks like everything Hange had hoped for? 

She would pass by the hallway and everyone's attention would be stirred. Her grace and fragrance, or how she managed to stand out like a fascinating flower among a field of others. She was what Hange hoped to be the perfect opposite of their ideal paradox. But now they couldn't stand or act like themself whenever in the same room as her or not until they decided to space out and let their ideas absorb them. There were times that they would remain silent in school, but you knew that the sound of their thoughts was getting louder and louder to bear.

You were both in your dorm, studying in the dead of the night when they asked, "Hey Y/N? Do I sound annoying?" And it sounded more like a question out of curiosity than self-deprecation. 

"Well, not really..." you responded. 

"Not really? What does that mean?"

"I mean, why would you ask me? If ever you're annoying, I'll be the first one to get used to it so don't think I would mind that anymore,” you explained, sitting up from your bed as you tried to meet their eyes. Hange’s gaze remained far away. 

"So maybe I do sound annoying..." they pondered loudly before turning to you and continuing. "Was it my voice?"

Hange continued on and on, asking and piecing together information on that topic.

And you were getting tired and hurt from the inside as they thought that maybe their voice was annoying, or their humor, or their hobbies. You nudged their swivel chair with your foot. 

"Hey, stop that now. Why don't we go out? Maybe a midnight stroll or a snack. Anything to stop you from that nonsense."

You pulled them out of those thoughts again, taking the streets at midnight to walk around and get something to eat. To talk about anything else other than their rejection because you know it would make them break. The night faded into a deep dark blue and it was 2 AM. You forgot how you both ended up on the couch, drinking away your thoughts as Hange laid their head on your shoulder. They rambled on about funny anecdotes and fascinating theories that would concern anyone, and then they quieted for a moment before saying, "You know... I grew the flowers I wanted to give to her."

Hange only smiled before finally turning to you, "Heh, I like the sound of that."

They said in a quiet voice as though raising it any higher would cause them to break down. 

Then they chuckled before saying, "Those flowers were a cross-hybrid. And when I showed her, she said it looked like a weird sack of balls and I said noooo, it wasn't quite like that. It's supposed to symbolize how the sun dips on the fabric of space..."

They went on drunkenly, arms around you now as they leaned closer as if any attempt they would make to move away would result in great discomfort.

"And I thought it was a cute metaphor to relate her to the sun but... she only laughed at me. Not in a way you would laugh in amusement with my ideas. Somehow, it sounded mocking."

And that hurt, Hange's voice broke, prompting the sobs that came after. 

You held them close, a portion of your heart aching as someone made them feel ashamed of all the things you love about them. What angered you the most was that the girl never rejected them outright, maybe to keep Hange in a way to use them or entertain herself. You don't deserve any of that, your mind protested. You thought of Hange as everything wonderful that happened in this world, as all the poetry and love in your heart screamed. 

"I made a mistake... And I'm correcting that..." they muttered on your shoulder, on the verge of falling asleep. They held you tighter, their tears dripping down your shirt before they relaxed on your body. For a moment, you tried to make sense of their words, maybe they regretted falling for that girl after all and realized how much they didn’t deserve such treatment. 

As they drifted to slumber, still clung to you, your eyes found the small plant growing on Hange’s table that reminded you of the nebula you always talk about with them.

[mayflowers515]

(Wholesome Cartoon AU) Smiling Critters' Families

Wanted to make this to go more into depth with the Critters' families and their thoughts on them. I mentioned some aspects about some families already in my lore headcanons, but here the information relating to them will be more organized and may have some extra details not brought up before.

Note: For the purposes of cartoon logic, real-life lifespans of animals won't apply here when it comes to the parents (since their ages are definitely beyond what ages they typically live by-)

I also have headcanons for all the families, and I will update this if I think up more for them :)

🧡☀️DogDay☀️🧡

Members:

NoonHound - father; 32 years old

Bio: Works as a cartoonist and is very passionate and easygoing.

DandieDawn - mother; 31 years old

Bio: Works as a daycare teacher; she is very caring but a bit of a worrywart.

DogDay - older brother; 11 years old

SunnySpot - younger sister; 6 years old

Bio: Filled with endless curiosity and bubbly charm, but can be a smart allec sometimes.

DogDay loves his parents a lot and respects all of what they do for him and his sister. He only wishes they could all spend more time all together. That doesn't happen too often due to his mother and father working busy jobs. As for DogDay's relationship with Sunny, he cares a lot about her, too. Sometimes, he can get a bit too overprotective of her in cases where it may not be needed. Even then, he likes to play games with her whenever she asks about it. She's very playful after all.

DogDay's parents, Noon and Dawn, work a lot to care for him and Sunny. They used to all live in a more drab town where the job quality wasn't the best. They stayed there to improve their financial situation until finally they could move to a better town to work better jobs. Though they can still be busy at times, the parents now have much more initiative to take a break compared to before. As for Sunny, she really looks up to and admires her brother. Though she gets annoyed whenever he overly coddles her, and she occasionally plays smart with him.

Headcanons:

Sunny has learned how to solve a Rubik's cube at a young age. In general she is good with completing brain puzzles, but solving a Rubik's cube is her favorite one.

Dawn's experiences as a teacher is part of the reason for being a worrywart. Due to the way the kids at daycare act, she tends to have this persona of her slip whenever she tends to DogDay and Sunny. She is often out of work very exhausted and tense, but she still loves her job.

As a kid, Noon drew cartoons as he has always wanted to be a cartoonist. However, he doesn't really like looking back at them since he views them as "cringy". If his kids were to see the comics he created, he would laugh at them as a way of acknowledging how "cringy" his previous work was, even if this may not have been the case.

Dawn and Noon have known each other for a long time, as they were next-door neighbors in their childhood town (not the same as the drab town I described, though). They were childhood friends for a long time, but Noon had harbored feelings for Dawn for a long time even before they got together. By the time their high school's prom came around, he confessed his feelings for her, which she reciprocated (turns out she felt the same way Noon did, but he was oblivious to this thinking she was just being shy originally).

Dawn's hobby whenever she isn't working is landscape work. This ranges from gardening to decorating. She gets really into it, too, often taking a long time to finish her landscaping work to fit a certain occasion (especially the case when holidays roll around). Noon likes to help with decorations sometimes because of his own passions relating to drawing.

DogDay's appreciation of his father's drawings is also what makes him so interested of other people's art, even though he himself isn't as artistic of a person.

🩷🍎PickyPiggy🍎🩷

(I'm changing my mind about the status of Picky's parents. They never disappeared now- I didn't like the original idea I had for them looking back at it; may put what I planned for them previously in another timeline though, but I'm not sure atm)

Members:

PerfectPiggy - father; 36 years old

Bio: The main cook of the family's kitchen; has good leadership skills and charisma.

PetitePiggy - mother; 34 years old

Bio: The co-cook and gardener of the family's kitchen; not afraid to get messy and is hard-working.

PickyPiggy - older sister; 10 years old

PerkyPiggy - younger twin sister; middle; 7 years old

Bio: Takes a lot after her mother and loves outdoor activity. She and her twin brother commonly bicker.

PowerPiggy - younger twin brother; middle; 7 years old

Bio: Though very reserved, he is stubborn and goal-oriented. He and his twin sister commonly bicker.

PlayPiggy - baby brother; youngest; 6 months old

Bio: A very happy infant who loves to play games.

Picky has a lot of respect for her parents. They were the reason she has such a passion in gardening and especially cooking. As a result, Picky is a bit closer with Perfect than Petite, but she is always enthusiastic at both learning new recipes and growing new crops. She has learned a lot about responsibility and discipline from them that reflects in the piggy she is. Picky has a motherly attitude towards her siblings. Whenever her parents can't take care of them due to being busy, Picky usually volunteers to help. She is a peacemaker to her siblings if Perky and Power get into fights or whenever Play starts to get upset. She also caters a lot to their basic needs. She doesn't deny any of them for any reason, though she can sometimes act slightly mean and sarcastic towards them depending on her mood. She usually apologizes when she goes too far with this attitude, however.

Picky's parents love all of their children equally. In the case of Picky, they are especially happy that she takes interest in their work. They secretly want Picky to help run the business with them when she's older, and potentially even inherit it if and when they retire. As for Picky's siblings, they have a lot of respect for their older sister. Especially because of what she does to make sure they get taken care of whenever their parents can't help for whatever reason. Perky and Power usually have Picky play with them when she can because she can also let loose and play with them just like any sister can. Though not much is known with how Play feels about Picky due to being so young, he appreciates her company just as much as everyone else's. He especially loves the games she plays with him.

Headcanons:

Before their start as a local restaurant business, the Piggies took their food service slow. They helped out in any food drives and potlucks they came across. Their favorite place to help out is in homeless shelters and orphanages. Picky especially likes to help out in the orphanage (I imagine this is how she and Bobby met all that time ago).

Both Perfect and Petite were into cooking, and they naturally took interest in each other when realizing during high school that they both planned to go to culinary school. During their time in culinary school, they fell in love and eventually became a couple.

Perky and Power aren't into cooking as much as their older sister or their parents, but they still occasionally help out in the kitchen, especially if it involves their favorite food. They can't help out in the same room, however, since they bicker even in the kitchen.

Perky is VERY messy whenever she helps out in the kitchen. She often has flour and ingredients all over her clothes after helping out. This would annoy Power, who is much less messy in the kitchen.

Whenever Power is in the kitchen, he is very by the book. He does a good job keeping track with the details explained in the cookbooks, but he will question whenever something goes against what he expects would happen.

Perfect sometimes cooks the food he makes for the restaurant business as a surprise for the family. To save money, they usually eat store bought food whenever those surprise days don't happen.

Petite probably has a lot of injuries due to what she has to work with in her garden. She especially hates wasps since they sting her a lot whenever she tends to the garden.

🩵🌈CraftyCorn🌈🩵

Members:

King SpeQuine - father; 41 years old

Bio: A very demanding presence in the kingdom and always strives to receive the best in everything.

Queen PrisMare - mother; 38 years old

Bio: Known to be emotionally distant and no-nonsense. She cares a lot about keeping the kingdom afloat.

(Princess) CraftyCorn - daughter; 11 years old

Crafty's relationship with her parents is... complicated to say the least. While she doesn't hate either of them, she doesn't exactly respect them either. They always talked down to her for interests that didn't relate to royalty and they also talked badly about anybody that didn't share their status, and Crafty disliked that. Despite this, Crafty always tried to please her parents so she could feel accepted by them. She was often talked down to for not fulfilling their expectations. Eventually, Crafty had enough of this and ran away in the middle of the night. She was accompanied by a knight who took pity in her situation. She doesn't like talking about her parents ever since she ran away from them. This is also the reason why she's so sensitive on the topic of her upbringing.

Crafty's parents didn't really love their daughter as a daughter. Rather as someone that could help them with the kingdom's reputation. They always nitpicked her for not fulfilling the visions they wanted for her to be. SpeQuine would especially be more nitpicky with his daughter. PrisMare is the same, but she has a sense of coldness whenever she does the same thing. Mainly because she doesn't know how to show love in the traditional sense, since she was always so focused on her kingdom and her kingdom only. These attitudes caused Crafty to run away. Not much is known about the parents' reaction to Crafty besides the fact they are desperately trying to search for her, unaware of her current location.

Headcanons:

Queen PrisMare actually used to be a big artist as a young girl, but she was bashed for these interests in a similar manner that Crafty was. PrisMare herself doesn't realize her own hypocrisy because there was a point in her life where her family would convince her that art was nothing but a waste of time. She commonly uses those experiences to convince Crafty to do what she and SpeQuine want her to do. Even so, I feel deep down, she would've secretly been proud of Crafty and her artwork, but doesn't show it so she can be a "good example" of "proper royalty".

King SpeQuine grew up in a rich family that spoiled him rotten before getting married to PrisMare. He was always taught that he always deserved the best of the best at all times, even if that realistically couldn't always happen. Due to the way he was raised, if he wasn't getting into a relationship with PrisMare, he would've stayed with his parents and never got a chance to work. His parents didn't care about the severity of running a kingdom at the time. They only cared that their son got with a royal because of the reputation it gives them.

Though they aren't seen or heard of much in the events of the cartoon, there are implications that the finding of their daughter is getting more widespread. These implications would grow more and more as the cartoon goes on (probably during a point where Crafty is going through an arc).

The natures of both PrisMare and SpeQuine also caused them to clash and not have as healthy of a relationship with each other either. They hid this from Crafty as much as they could to set a good example for her.

The only reason the parents got together at all is because PrisMare was pressured by her family to find someone to marry for their kingdom and SpeQuine's parents wanted him to marry a rich lady to upgrade their own status. Both PrisMare and SpeQuine seldom treat each other like married couples typically do. They may have a slight hint of care for each other, but this never extends to true love.

💛⭐KickinChicken⭐💛

Members:

CooperRooster - father; 40 years old

Bio: A social butterfly who likes to live in the moment. Can get too over his head at times, though.

WendyHen - mother; 39 years old

Bio: A sweet but self-conscious hen who wants the best for her family.

StrikinChicken - older brother; 17 years old

Bio: He is generally chill and agreeable. He likes to tease Kickin a lot, but he also likes helping him.

KickinChicken - younger brother; 10 years old

Kickin doesn't show it around others, but he is very clingy to his parents. He is especially clingy towards Cooper since he often spoiled him and his brother ever since they were young. Despite not being as close with Wendy, he still appreciates her a lot and usually tries to help her when she has her episodes of self-doubt. As much as Kickin looks up to both of his parents, however, it doesn't compare to the amount of admiration he has for his brother, Strikin. They have always been really close, and Kickin wants to be as cool as his brother. He worries whenever he feels he can't reach Strikin's level of cool, but Strikin usually reassures him whenever he feels this way.

Kickin's parents care a lot about their son, but they deep down worry a lot about him. He was picked on a lot at a previous school he was at, and they feel Kickin gets a lot of his own hidden self-consciousness from those experiences. As a result, they reassure Kickin that he will always be a star to them. Strikin also feels this way, but he is very close to Kickin. He checks up on him a lot, and he feels bad whenever he feels he couldn't do much to help him with his doubts, even when Kickin is just happy Strikin was there for him at all. Deep down, Strikin worries about how Kickin will feel once he leaves for college...

Headcanons:

Strikin plans to major in engineering once he graduates high school and goes to college.

Cooper used to be in a garage band when he was younger. He still has a rock guitar reminding him of those times. He hopes one of his sons pick up on his skills sometime.

Wendy likes to scrapbook in her free time. She may also have some embarrassing photos of her sons when they were really young. Strikin doesn't really mind, but Kickin would absolutely get embarrassed if his mom ever showed anyone those photos-

Wendy and Cooper had BIG crushes on each other during high school, but neither one of them knew about it.

When they did get together, I imagine it happened in a really funny, coincidental fashion. Like, when they were teens, they took part in a spin-the-bottle game, and Cooper just so happened to land on Wendy, which she was TERRIFIED about at first because she thought she would be way out of Cooper's league yet he still pursued her. They hit it off ever since that night-

Though I wouldn't be able to straight out say it in the AU (since I hc the cartoon was created in the early 90s where rep wasn't exactly normalized yet), it is very much implied that Strikin is gay. Probably what made Kickin himself feel more comfortable about realizing he was bisexual (this would also be implied).

Strikin has a BIG comic book collection with comics he doesn't even read anymore. He plans to give those comics to Kickin once he moves out to college (he doesn't give it to him sooner because he wants to surprise him).

💙💡Bubba Bubbaphant💡💙

Members:

(Ben) Benvolio Bubbaphant - father; 42 years old

Bio: An outgoing, fun-loving elephant who likes seeing the bright side of things.

Bridget Bubbaphant - mother; 43 years old

Bio: A kind, calm elephant who usually likes to reminisce on the past.

Bubba Bubbaphant - son; 11 years old

Bubba cares deeply about his parents, but he hasn't always been so trusting of them. For some time (prior to the series), he thought the relationship he had with his parents was "off", as if they couldn't be his real parents due to how different they are from him (size, color, etc). Eventually he realized the reason why, and he has become much closer to them ever since. He always appreciates how much they support his academic interests, and they always strive for him to achieve the best he can. Bubba likes Benvolio's energy, but he sometimes gets annoyed when he doesn't take certain things seriously. As for Bridget, Bubba admires how calm and wise she is. They also like to reminisce on old memories together.

Bubba's parents care a lot about their son. They originally were concerned for him because he would barely open up to them at a certain point in time. Once they realized why, they took extra time in making sure they valued their son for being himself and that they would always care for him. Benvolio has always made sure to do what he could to cheer up his son whenever he felt hard on himself. Meanwhile, Bridget usually helps Bubba whenever he wants insight on certain decisions he's about to make (he wants to make sure he's doing the right thing).

Headcanons:

The reason Bubba distrusted his parents so much in the past was because of how different their genetics seemed to be. He accidentally slips up on this distrust one time when he had an argument with them. Benvolio and Bridget open up about why this is the case. It turns out they are still his real parents despite how different they seemed. Just their genetics made him turn out to not be as similar to them. This discovery was part of the reason as to why Bubba has become much more inclined to learning new things nowadays. Afterwards, he starts to trust his parents more.

This misunderstanding led to Bubba's own fear of his lack of knowledge on certain things. Benvolio and Bridget are aware of this, and always let him know that there's still a lot for him to learn and that it's normal to not know EVERYTHING. Though this doesn't personally help Bubba very much, he would appreciate the support anyway.

Benvolio was NOT good at school back in the day. However, he would barely ever get any help due to the discrimination on him being so small for an elephant. This is eventually how he met Bridget, who was the only one who would help tutor him (she also had similar problems being rejected for her differences). Though they did clash sometimes, they eventually became high school sweethearts.

Bridget had a lot of achievements for her work in school back in the day, but this wasn't capitalized on as much during the time due to the discrimination following her. They have been given much more recognition as she grew older whenever anyone found out due to their world becoming more accepting of these differences.

The Bubbaphants loved to play board games together. They don't get TOO chaotic, as to them it's all just harmless fun to them. Sometimes, Benvolio likes to be silly about the way he plays and is usually the most dramatic whenever they play.

❤️❤️Bobby BearHug❤️❤️

Members:

Beckett BearHug - adoptive father; 34 years old

Bio: A tough-looking bear who has a bleeding heart on the inside. He has fighting experience.

Barbara BearHug - adoptive mother; 33 years old

Bio: Looks snobby, but she is actually very empathetic and gentle. She is known to have a rbf.

Bobby BearHug - daughter/adopted daughter; 9 years old

Bobby loves her parents a lot. She doesn't see them for their outward flaws, but rather as the parents she wished she was born with a long time ago. The truth is, these aren't her real parents. They adopted her after she was dropped by her real parents who neglected her. Due to her previous experience with those parents, Bobby gets really scared and apologetic if she feels she is being too much with Barbara and Beckett or if she isn't good enough for them. They always give her reassurance that they love her no matter what. Bobby sees them as her real parents because of the love they've given her that she needed all along.

Barbara and Beckett care a lot about their daughter. They always wanted to have a child of their own, but they were unable to for some time. They were glad to have the opportunity to raise Bobby after realizing her situation. As a result of realizing what she went through previously, they take extra care in being as kind and reassuring to her as possible. This is so she can know that they won't leave her or neglect her like her previous parents did. They love Bobby unconditionally as if she was their biological daughter.

Headcanons:

Bobby's biological parents are Homer HoneyComb and Cara HoneyComb. They had Bobby at a young age and at the time, they weren't at all ready to have a child. They kept her anyway due to pressure from both sides of the family, but they seldom gave her any attention outside of the bare minimum. This left Bobby starved for love at a young age, and as a result, she was more clingy to them. Homer and Cara took this clinginess as an opportunity to make her a scapegoat whenever they fought and brush her off as a "nuisance". They also used it as a reason to eventually abandon her. This all happened when Bobby was at the age of 5, and she was placed in an orphanage for some time after this. When she was 7-8 years old, she finally found loving parents in Beckett and Barbara.

Beckett is heavily trained in martial arts. He someday wants to teach this skill to his daughter, but he knows she may not want to do that at this point (she doesn't like to get her hands dirty). Beckett is patient about this aspect of Bobby.

Beckett's side of the family runs a honey farm that is far from the Smiling Critters' hometown. Whenever Beckett visits his parents, he makes sure to bring back honey to share among him, Barbara, and Bobby.

Barbara and Beckett met sometime when Barbara visited Beckett's family's honey farm. They related to each other a lot due to being misunderstood by others, and they eventually fell in love as a result.

Barbara actually works as a teacher at the school the Smiling Critters go to. To avoid bias, however, she agreed to not have Bobby in the same classroom as her. She occasionally checks in on her daughter whenever she is on break to make sure she's okay during the day.

Barbara and Beckett allows Bobby to visit the orphanage sometimes due to her positive experience with the fellow orphans there before getting adopted.

💚⚡Hoppy Hopscotch⚡💚

Members:

Scott Hopscotch - father; 36 years old

Bio: Passionate and a little aggressive. He can have a bad temper at times.

Rebecca Hopscotch - mother; 36 years old

Bio: Excitable and optimistic. She can be pretty reckless outside of parenting decisions.

Harley Hopscotch - older sister; 16 years old

Bio: Reserved and a bit shy, but very protective when it comes to her family's safety.

Hoppy Hopscotch - younger sister; middle; 10 years old

Holly Hopscotch - younger sister; youngest; 4 years old

Bio: She is carefree and imaginative, and her innocence is still very present.

Hoppy respects her parents a lot. They usually encourage her to follow her dreams of being a sports star. In fact, she was inspired to do it because of her mom's role in sports during high school and winning many medals. Hoppy also cares a lot about her sisters, though she wishes they would be more willing to play the kind of games she wants to play. That doesn't happen often since their interests are inclined in different directions. Hoppy would get protective of them if something happened to them.

Hoppy's parents are very happy with their daughters. Specifically for Hoppy, they appreciate the amount of energy she brings to the dynamic. Also happened because of their influence and their own energy. Hoppy's sisters also look up to her in their own right. Though Harley can act very cautious with Hoppy due to how reckless she can be, she appreciates what she does whenever she doesn't feel up to doing things. Holly really looks up to Hoppy despite not being into sports like she is. Holly usually likes piggy backs from her or Harley.

Headcanons:

This family seems to have a habit of cursing. Scott and Rebecca curse often whenever they're mad (mostly for Scott) or feeling intense about something (mostly for Rebecca). Holly and Hoppy usually have to be taken out of the room so they don't pick up on their cursing habits (Harley is the only one allowed to listen). Hoppy listens in anyway, so now she has a habit of occasionally cursing just like her parents. Obviously since the Smiling Critters is intended to be a kids cartoon, the swear words aren't actually heard by the viewers. They're coincidentally and comedically blocked out by something or someone every time. Ironically, Hoppy's parents would get mad if they heard their daughter cursing (secretly a bit proud at the same time, though). She usually tries not to curse in front of them anyway, but she occasionally slips up.

Family game nights are likely very, VERY chaotic with this family... Think like that Odd1sOut Monopoly scene-

Speaking of game nights, imagining this is how Scott and Rebecca met. One time they just had a game night with their high school friends. They basically had a game respects game attitude towards each other and grew very close ever since.

Harley wants to major in English once she makes it to college.

The sweater Hoppy has wrapped around her waist was given to her by Harley as a hand-me-down. Hoppy loved it so much that she has worn it ever since it was given to her. If she were to wear it, it would likely look a bit oversized on her-

Despite Hoppy getting in on the chaos of her parents, she will usually partake in making sure Holly keeps her innocence since she's so young. Basically like a "No! Not the baby!" situation like in Amphibia whenever something that would ruin Holly's innocence is about to happen.

💜🌙CatNap🌙💜

Members:

MewZizz - father; 34 years old

Bio: A calm, quiet guy who likes to play music for anyone willing to listen.

FeLune - mother; 33 years old

Bio: The resident "crazy lady"; She has a mysterious aura, but is she really what she seems?

CatNap - son; 11 years old

CatNap isn't by his parents often, but he still shows appreciation for what they do. Sometimes he can be a little embarrassed by the antics of his mom, but he will help her with any errands she needs done. As for his dad, CatNap appreciates the music he comes up with. He occasionally stops by to see his dad perform whenever he's awake.

CatNap's parents care deeply about their son. MewZizz is worried about his son's mental state sometimes, suspicious of the fact that he sleeps so often throughout the day. Though he knows why, he sometimes tries to convince him of better ways to go about the stress. This doesn't usually work since CatNap is so convinced that he just has to stay as calm as possible through proper sleep. Meanwhile, FeLune nags CatNap out of her own worry. Also because of a lot of the many traits they share with each other... She worries about CatNap going through the same judgement she went through, but she attempts to help him whenever he feels stressed about this.

Headcanons:

FeLune had a love-at-first-sight experience with MewZizz. She was always a part of the audience watching his performances. Eventually, she mustered the courage to talk to him, and they shortly got into a relationship afterward. For MewZizz, he loved FeLune's support and the quirks she had, so he quickly fell in love with her in a similar way.

The poppy gas CatNap has as his second scent came from FeLune's side of the family. FeLune herself had to deal with poppy gas, but she managed to control it to a healthy level. However, before she did, she would often get flak for having this ability, being deemed a monster by many for having it. As a result, this affects the way she feels about her son's poppy gas. She worries a lot about if people found out about this. Little did she know, her excessive worry about it is also what drove CatNap's own fear of the others finding out about his ability.

MewZizz often played lullabies for CatNap when he was younger. CatNap has fond memories of these lullabies, and he even hums them himself whenever he helps put others to sleep.

MewZizz and FeLune are very openly romantic in public. They do a lot of PDA, and sometimes this gets on CatNap's nerves because of how openly they do it.

FeLune was able to have their home installed with their own observatory. Besides his own bedroom, CatNap finds the observatory to be his favorite place to unwind.

(Phew... This took so long to make with the designs and descriptions =v=' I'm sorry for not posting about the AU in a while. I hope this makes up for it- Also tried to not be exactly the same as the existing family dynamics other people came up with for their own interpretations of the Smiling Critters- It's their original OCs after all- I did still get inspired by some things. If anyone has an issue with this, let me know and I'll work something out with my own characters since I don't want to copy off of anyone T^T)

Hope you guys enjoyed this (long) post!

🩷❤️🧡💛💚🩵💙💜

[sweatertheman]

to me, a really emotionally effective suselle denial is worth more than 10 suselles, because itd do wonders for noelle's arc, pull the themes of rejecting fate into focus, and illustrate a great point about how we play matchmaker with these characters, and how everyone else does too.

literally everyone seems to be gunning for susie and noelle to end up together, but the one person whose feelings about this pairing we've been ignoring, and the one person whose feelings actually matter, is susie! no one gave her a choice here! noelle didn't give susie a choice, she's incredibly possessive of susie and feels like she is owed information about susie, which she can then use to get susie to like her. noelle won't stop until susie is hers. ralsei never asked susie if she enjoyed her ferris wheel ride, or how she felt about noelle, he just watched from a distance and assumed how she felt, because it suits his deterministic worldview. rudy never asked susie if she wanted to go out with noelle, iirc, he just assumed she would say yes, because he loves noelle, and wants noelle to be happy. everyone else is just imposing roles onto susie, the same as they always have!

and while in the real world, having a gay lover is an act of defiance against oppressive social norms, in the world of deltarune, its the opposite! no one is telling her she can't, and everyone wants her to (with the exception of catti, and the couple asshole classmates). even if susie DOES have feelings for noelle, those feelings are sullied by the fact that everyone is still removing her agency, STILL telling her who she is and isn't allowed to be! would you still like your partner if you learned they had done everything in their power to make sure you would end up with them? obsessively collecting information on you in order to seem more appealing, constructing situations for you to meet up in a way where it seems organic, trying to get closer to you by any means necessary? i don't think susie would.

the thing susie seems to value most out of anything is her own agency in choosing what she gets to do, and how she gets to do it. no societal norm, social convention, narrative trope or gameplay mechanic stands in her way of choosing what she wants to do. she won't let you take her armor off unless you give her something else. when you give her a more powerful weapon, she won't accept a weaker one. she's too good for that. susie can dance on her own if she wants, she isn't stupid. it's not fair that kris gets to make all the choices, so its her turn now. heal prayer is boring, so she makes up her own spell. she challenges the idea that darkners are a slave race because she wouldn't want to be complicit in such a system. she believes they should be free to make their own choices. in what world would a person who values freedom above all be happy knowing that their partner wasn't going to let them make their own choice? this isn't even a question of whether or not susie likes noelle, its a question of if susie would be okay knowing that noelle feels, however unconsciously, as if susie belongs to her in some way. and i believe the answer is no.

and this rejection would hurt regardless of if susie liked noelle back, because we do like noelle, flawed as she is. and that rejection forces noelle to change in some way. either she accepts that susie's freedom to choose means the freedom not to be with her, or she doubles down and tries to win her over. she doesn't get what she wants, so she has to choose to get better and start seeing susie as a person, and not merely an idol, or a fantasy, or she has to choose to get worse, and cling onto susie harder.

my rejection of suselle is only somewhat about susie's feelings towards noelle, and is mostly about susie's freedom to not have those feelings, a freedom which is being violated by the "narrative" she exists in, the "Legend of DELTA RUNE"

she deserves a choice, and when the person in question, noelle, doesn't seem to care about how she feels, and only wants susie to be hers, i think she'll choose no, even if she did really like noelle. maybe even especially if she really liked noelle. people talk about how betrayed susie will feel learning kris is possessed and darkners are objects, but what about when she learns noelle was willing to change herself to be whatever susie wants, was willing to treat friends poorly, to almost stalk her, just to make her hers? would she be able to trust her feelings for noelle learning that it was all out of her control, that she hadn't been given a choice?

this isn't even to say they won't end up together in the end. its just to say it can't be like this. it cant be with a noelle who doesn't really respect susie's personhood and sees her more as an object whose affection must be won, and it can't be by the will of a divine entity that orchestrated everything for susie to end up with her. it has to be susie's choice.

this is kind of why i like ralsusie. what better way to make a display of your agency than to reject literally everything others have coaxed you into? rejecting the prophecy, rejecting noelle's advances, rejecting the player's agency, rejecting the concept of darkners not being real people.

its not like she can only choose to be the bully no one likes or the hero protector who ends up with noelle. its a false dichotomy, where fate locks her up and offers an escape, but the "escape" is only another cell. true escape is carving your own path, playing by your own rules.

[yacinthemorning]

Bamboozled by the Bird

Chapter 3

[start][prev][next]

Summary: Tango is the muscle for the Tuff Guys, a gang that deals primarily in money lending. How he got here he can't remember anymore, and his only moments of respite from his awful job is hanging out with Scarland's accident-prone mascot. His life gets infinitely more complicated though, after he's assigned to put the pressure on a new client who seems to know way too much about him. The situation quickly escalates from there in ways Tango could have never imagined.

Ships: Jimmy/Tango (romantic(?)), Bdubs & Etho & Skizz & Tango (frienemies), Jimmy & Lizzie (familial)

Warnings: Organized crime, Violence, Extortion, Threats, Hidden identity, Theft, Paranoia, Arguments

"I just think you seem a bit tense, is all."

"Me, tense? No, why would I be tense while you're skulking around other families!"

"C'mon..."

Tango let out a long drag of his cigarette, barely lifting his head off the rusty balcony railing to do so. Behind him, Bdub's screeching hysterics and Etho's cracking lies a chorus echoing throughout the supposedly uninhabited warehouse. It was a miracle they hadn't been caught. Not like the cops didn't already have it out for them.

All he wanted was an address and pay. Why did he have to suffer the dumb and dumber show just to keep their business afloat? Did those two even do anything except send Tango out for chores? He could be at home right now with a nice discount porkchop...

"Tango what do you think?"

His whole body jerked, cigarette slipping from his grip down to the wet concrete two stories below. All he could do was whine and give Bdubs a glare. "What?"

The shrimp rolled his eyes, jabbing his thumb over his shoulder into Etho's chest. "Tell this guy to get his act together and stop two-timing us or get the hell out!"

Tango blinked, oh so very tired. He tilted his head up towards Etho. "Bdubs wants you to know he is cranky."

"Hey!"

"I can hear that." Etho said, only slightly muffled by his mask.

The tallest of them, yet he slouched so badly he might as well be eye level with Tango. Never mind his hair that might not have been washed but was certainly not brushed, or the shirt he was wearing a week ago still on him. Everything about him screamed "I can't be bothered to care." Why Bdubs seemed so convinced that he alone in the world had some magical tongue that would compel Etho to act any differently, Tango would never know.

Tango ran his hand down his face, trying desperately to massage away the annoyance. "Look, I really don't feel like being your couple's therapist right now, so if you could just give me my gig and I can go..."

"Very freaking funny!" Bdubs snapped like a purse chihuahua. "For your information, no thanks to this guy and previous employment, we gotta lay low, so the only gig you got today is keeping an eye out."

"For real?" He balked, dread already consuming him. "Ugh, fine, but I ain't hanging out here." With that he pushed himself up, tossing the last bite of his cigarette into the alleyway below. "I don't want to be bored and annoyed. I'm going to Burrito Time."

"Get me a chicken taco!" Etho's too-cheery voice cut through Bdubs' screeching.

Tango waved him off, "I sure won't!"

Even halfway down the fire escape the fighting was loud enough to hear. It took exiting the alley into the tight side street before they completely dissipated. He was ready to pull out another cigarette in celebration when movement caught his eye.

There, delicately untangling his long limbs from a crinkling blue tarp, was a man of unfortunate familiarity. Except- well. Except that instead of casual clothing, the tall blond was dressed, quite frankly, like he was about to run a marathon. If the marathon was hosted by a gay bar. He had the expression of someone unwillingly dragged into such an event, at that, with a scowl scrunched around his nose and slight redness to his ears. He grumbled to himself as he lifted one box from an identical pallet's worth.

Perhaps Tango was simply stunned at the coincidence. No, it was the shorts that needed a second glance to be sure they weren't underwear. What in the world was his target doing here looking like that? Regardless, it gave Jimmy enough time to realize someone else had approached. Their eyes locked from either side of the box of...

... Was that explosives?

"What the fuck is going on?" Tango shouted, voice breaking.

Jimmy's head snapped, "Language!"

Both froze. Slowly, recognition washed over the taller, accompanied hand in hand with horror. He snapped out of their mutual trance first, dropping the- A sound Tango could never hope to replicate escaped him as the box of explosives slammed into the ground. Between his shock and jumping as far away as he was physically capable, Jimmy got a head start. And did he use it. He was already rounding the corner into another alley before Tango shouted after him, "Hey, wait!"

Thoughts spiralled as Tango ran. What was Jimmy doing around the corner from their office? Was he planning on dealing with his problem by blowing them up? Where the heck did a man hundreds of thousands of dollars in dept purchase explosives?

Jimmy's long legs carried him further and further away from Tango even through the cramped alleyways. The wind carried his voice back to Tango, "Leave me alone!"

"Like hell I am after that!" Tango shouted back. Did it make it to his target? Jimmy didn't so much as stutter in his steps. He burst out into the sun of the main road first by a wide margin, leaving Tango in the dust. Alas for Jimmy, the same long legs that carried him so far ahead gave him away from around a large truck. Tango bolted around traffic, too full of adrenaline to think about how he was near past-tensed by a bright pink beetle in the process. When his target rounded yet another corner, vision blocked by a tall wooden wall, Tango screamed, "Get back here-!"

The cry of frustration quickly spun into fear as he hit the corner and something else hit his ankle. With nothing but his leather jacket for protection he fell face first into the pavement. At the last moment his arms shot out, saving his actual face, but sending a thousand needling pebbles straight into his palms and knees. Pain infested every nerve in his body for a solid three seconds before he was able to move once more.

Shakily, he looked up. No sign of Jimmy. Dammit.

He looked down. The perpetrator of his downfall was still there, tucked safely under his ankle. A sneaker, worn and thin and... sparkly? Shifting back caused it to fall and Tango was subjected to a miniature light show as it thumped against the ground. He didn't even know they made light up shoes in adult sizes. What grown man in debt with loan-sharks wore light up sneakers?

Half-baked plans formulated in his mind. Groans accompanied him all the way back onto his feet, and he clutched the sneaker tight to his chest. "Alright, Cinderella," He muttered mostly to himself as he limped along. "No way you got far on one foot."

Unfortunately, his search ended abruptly via a wall of blue.

"Tango!" Squawked a familiarly muffled voice.

"So-Solidarity?" Tango stumbled back. There was the bird, wing pressed into his cheek. "What are you doing here?"

The mascot shook his head, his whole body following suit, "What? Oh, um, I mean... Well..." Feathers pointed up. It was only then that Tango realized the wall flush to the sidewalk was brightly painted with posters, and through the tree branches Tango spotted a ferris wheel.

"Oh."

"I work here." He huffed. It must have been quite hot in his suit today, because he continued to do so, breaths heavy enough to give the costume motion not dissimilar to an old video game character. "What are you doing here?"

Right, he had a spy to catch. Even a quick glance over Solidarity's shoulder showed no further sign of his target, however. "You wouldn't happen to have seen a questionably dressed tallish blond guy run this way?"

"N-no- Wait, what do you mean questionably?" Solidarity's wings went to his hips.

"You know, like..." Tango's nose wrinkled, taking the length of his hands and tapping them against his high thighs "Like, shorts like this, and a size too small. You can see everything if you look."

"Why were you looking!"

That was not the response Tango was expecting, nor a question he was equipped to answer. He tried his best, he truly did, but the seconds ticked by and he had no reasonable response, not with those giant soulless felt eyes boring into him like a priest expecting a confession. So he didn't, "And a sleeveless top, I think it was blue." His voice cracked. Hopefully his face wasn't too red.

The parrot's head tilted, then knocked up, "Well, no, I haven't. I've been here all day working, they've been running me ragged."

"Same, except the exact opposite."

"So... Not the same at all?"

God he really knew how to make a fool of himself. "I just, you know. I meant, like, work sucks. So I was playing hooky to go get a burrito like usual but then..." His hand went to the back of his neck. Too awkward to look at the mascot again, his eyes wandered the streets. No sign of his target. He breathed out a sigh, "Man..."

"Oh, did- did someone drop that?"

Tango's palms were suddenly lightened. Little flashes of red and green filled the space between them. Jimmy's shoe rotated in Solidarity's feathers, practically mushing his beak against it, before tucking it away. "Poor kid. Well, I'll just pop it in the lost and found."

"Ah-" Words struggled to form in Tango's mouth, so startled by the theft. Nails dug into felt, giving so much easier than he could have ever suspected, able to feel the bony wrist underneath the feathers. Both froze.

For some reason, the slow turn of Solidarity's head was suddenly so much more... human. "Yes?" His voice had a slight warble to it.

Tango released his grip then, as if burnt. His mind rang with the alarm bells he'd once heard in a museum display. In that moment he decided he would never touch Solidarity ever again. "No, nothing." He said, taking a step back "I, uh, I should... Y'know. Get back to work."

The mascot head tilted in a nod. Did the person within nod too? Of course he did. Solidarity crumbled away right in front of him the more the thought about it. So, like his explanation, Tango didn't. In fairness, it was made easier by a call from Etho. He quickly waved goodbye to Solidarity and bolted around the corner, pressing himself to the fence. "Hello?" He squeaked.

It was difficult to hear past Bdubs's background screeches, but with too much amusement Etho asked, "... What, did I interrupt you flirting with the cashier or something?"

If Tango had anything to drink it would be all over the pavement. "What? No! I ain't flirting with anybody! And I haven't gone, I ran into a client."

"Shame. I was looking forward to my taco." He hummed. The screeching got momentarily louder before there was the sound of fabric rubbing against the mic. "Yes, 'Dubs I got it!" But Bdubs seemed sure he hadn't, the ranting continuing on. At the point, and Tango could picture it so clearly in his mind’s eye, Etho was surely curled up in his weird little corner ignoring everything Bdubs said. "A client, you say?"

"Yeah, that Jimmy guy. He had dynamite not a block from our place."

"Interesting..."

"He slipped away before I could nab him, though. I was thinking he might need an extra visit."

"Sounds like he might!"

"Do you even care?" Tango hissed, tucking his free hand under his arm before he started fiddling with his knife in public.

"Of course I do, I just trust you."

"Yeah, right."

"Yeah, right! So go do you job, my trusty little penny-pincher."

With that the call ended. Tango raised the phone above his head, taking deep breaths. He needed his phone, it'd be a waste of money, it would just make him more ticked off. A full minute of listing all the cons of swinging his arm down and letting go. "Alright." He hissed to himself, tongue clicking against the roof of his mouth. "Alright, let's go. Office to give 'em a piece of our mind, then trailer, then Burrito Time."

He left without looking back.

A shouting match over the appropriate level of concern one should have over dynamite within proximity to their headquarters took up most of his afternoon before he finally stomped back out towards the trailer park. One of Jimmy's neighbours was having a one-man party, music blaring from their window. Perfect cover, for the potential screaming and fighting that might occur. Jimmy's shadow silhouetted the window blinds. Knuckles against his door made the shadow jump. Long moments passed in what felt like slow motion, Jimmy's hunched form clearly not eager to open the door. Eventually, though, it had to be done.

"Why hello there." Tango drawled with a forced smile. The paleness that washed over Jimmy failed to give it any genuineness. Knuckles wrapped around the front of Jimmy's shirt. "Have you heard of our lord and saviour?"

Jimmy squawked like a chicken as he was shoved back into his fridge, Tango following after him with one swift motion. The man's long legs buckled, knees wobbling from both fear and exertion of trying to right his unbalanced stance. He was still in that terrible outfit, Tango lamented. Was it right to judge what a man wore in his own home? He felt like he could, considering it was apparently his "blow up the guys I owe money" outfit and he was the guys in question.

Unfortunately it did manage to distract him long enough for Jimmy to get back on his feet and flee to the other end of the trailer. The bathroom door shuttered behind him just as Tango remembered to reach out. If he really wanted to he could easily bust he flimsy thing down, but it wouldn't change the fact that there was now a wall of protection between him and his target. "Leave me alone!" Jimmy shouted.

"Like hell I will after that stunt!" He snapped back, fumbling to force open the door. "You think you can threaten us and get away with it?"

"I wasn't! It wasn't for you!"

The lock was a flimsy piece of plastic. Tango flipped open his knife and dug into the coin slot and twisted. It gave out under the sharp blade, barely managing to open before it did, and he flung the door open. "Yeah, right." He spat, now face to face.

A squeak escaped the man, "I'm not lying, I swear! It was for my job!" He fell back onto the seat, arms hiding his face as best they could with how horribly they shook. "They weren't even real!"

"Convenient!"

"It's true! I swear it's true!" There was the telltale stutter of a sob in the man's voice, though it was hard to see anything the way he'd curled up on top of the toilet seat. "You can go back and see for yourself, I couldn't do it if it was. I don't have any intention to do anything except pay things back, I swear to you!"

It was about as believable as a flying pig. Anyone who looked upon the crumpled up man before Tango might be tempted to believe him. How could someone this pathetic try to pull something like collapsing a building? But Tango had been in the business long enough to know that was exactly the sort of person who would pull something. Scared, cornered, desperate enough to have already turned to illegal means once before.

But Jimmy still owed them big bucks, and Etho would gut him like a fish if they lost the money. That's what he told himself as he backed away from the bathroom. "Alright then." He hissed.

The trailer wasn't much different than when he'd last been here. Smelled slightly better without the cat litter, and a chair had been moved. The only other thing out of place was a familiar, greasy paper bag sat in the middle of the small table. A pleased hum escaped him as he sat down in front of it. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Jimmy uncurl and peak out. He ignored the man in favour of tearing open the bag. Two foil wrapped burritos spilled out. He snatched up one, peeling it open while Jimmy cautiously stepped forward. "Sit." Tango commanded.

Jimmy flinched, but shuffled into the seat across from him, just barely caught the burrito thrown his way. He didn't unwrap it, eyes trained on Tango while he bit into his own. Nor did he speak, lips sealed tight.

"Mm! Well, I'll be damned!" Tango chirped through a mouthful, spice stinging his tongue. "You have some good taste. You looked like an extra mild sort of guy!" It was near identical to his own order.

Jimmy biting his tongue was visible in his cheek, nose crinkling slightly. "Thanks." He said through grit teeth.

Instead of calling him out, Tango turned to the torn up bag. Another tug and it split in two, one large piece taken out of the side. He reached into his pocket, pulling out a pen, and slid both across the table towards Jimmy. "You're gonna write down exactly what I'm going to find when I go back there and what you were doing with it. If anything doesn't match up you're gonna get another visit.

"You won't find anything." Jimmy declared, even as he pulled the greaser scrap in front of him. "I told you, it was a pick up for work. When I went back without them they sent someone else."

"And what exactly were you picking up?"

"Fireworks." The pen clicked. "Custom for an event, they barely have the strength of a noisemaker. My boss didn't want to store them on site in case of an accident, so he rented a garage for them."

"And it just happened to be near our place, hm?"

"Yes!" Jimmy snapped, before he caught himself. He poured his anger into his scribbling. "For goodness's sake, I don't even know the place you're talking about. I met Skizz at Pizza This."

That did sound remarkably like Skizz.

With mounting embarrassment it was becoming painfully clear that not only had he misread the situation, but that Etho in all likelihood knew it from the beginning and let him waltz on over to Jimmy's anyways. If he was five years younger and Jimmy was literally anyone else he would be curled up on the floor apologizing. As it was he had to do his damnedest to keep his cool. There was no stopping his ears from heating up. The best he could do is give his arms a rub like it was cold and hope Jimmy didn't notice. That, and focus on his plans to kill Etho next time he saw him.

The pen clicked. Tango snatched up the greasy page as it slid towards him. Inventory, labels, addresses, even the code for the door were all laid out. If he hadn't figured out already that he was likely telling the truth that was the nail in the coffin. Not to mention stupid, even if there wasn't much of value in the garage. One in a long line of poor decisions that led this guy to Tango, he supposed.

When he looked back up he found Jimmy staring directly at him, before his eyes darted to the side. "What?" Tango asked, trying his best to sound intimidating, or at least grumpy.

"I just..." Jimmy murmured something too low for Tango to hear.

"Huh? Speak up!"

"Is Norman doing okay?"

Tango blinked, question refusing to process for several seconds. That's what you're thinking about in this situation? "How would I know?" He lied, turning back to the paper.

"Right..."

"Anyways," They both stood up, Tango shoving the last bit of burrito down his gullet before shoving the page in his pocket. "For your sake I hope you ain't lying about this."

-

Tango all but flopped down, letting out a shriek into his palms before curling up against the hollow Princess Jellie statue sat demurely on the bench next to him. "I messed up so bad."

"It couldn't be that bad if you're still employed."

He let his hand slop off his face, giving Solidarity an utterly miserable look. "No, of course I'm not fired. How could my boss laugh at me if he fired me?"

Solidarity's head shook, in what Tango hoped was sympathy but was probably annoyance or disbelief. If he could only see his real face it would likely be easier, but the thought filled Tango with a strange feeling. Did he want to see another human face, really? He wasn't sure he could talk to his new acquaintance if he did. "Why don't you ever take that off?" He asked anyways, you know, like a moron.

Solidarity's head shot up and wings shot down, like he was just shocked. "W-what?"

"Your costume. I've never seen you outside it, even backstage." There was no need to continue, not when Tango dreaded the most likely outcome. That was his self-sabotaging nature for you, refusing to leave himself even the small whimsy of speaking to a giant bird. Joy was illegal, and happiness was punishable by death. Isn't that how he wound up here to begin with?

Solidarity hummed and hawed, head flicking up and then to the side as he switched between folded arms and The Thinker, before he bounced back onto his other foot, hands out in a shrug, the costumes blank smile looming over the whole situation. "Well, I'm at work. It's against policy for cast to remove costumes outside the cast room unless its an emergency. What would we do if a child saw us?" He suddenly lurched forward, Tango flinching several inches down the bench. But Solidarity only reeled back his clasped feathers and swooped until they were over his opposite shoulder, "We'd get a strike! Three strikes, you're out!"

Tango's brow furrowed, "Uh, strikes are baseball. In golf it's, like, a bogey I think. Or... A penalty?"

"Whatever, man, you get my point! No changing outside the cast break room!"

Though he was the one that asked, Tango relaxed. "That's good."

"Good?"

"Fair! I mean it’s fair."

An awkward silence filled the space, Solidarity slumping forward before he suddenly jolted and practically bounced over to Tango's side. "Oh! So... so how is N- your friend's cat doing?"

Tango blinked, knuckle tapping against his glasses as he tilted his head in thought. How was the cat doing? "Good, I think? He doesn't seem to like me much." The little rat had yet to do much besides hide under things until it absolutely had to eat or poop, sometimes not even for the latter. "Every time I get near him he swipes at me."

It looked like crouching took far too much effort in the mascot costume for it to be worth it, but Solidarity did so anyways to be eye level with Tango. Far too close. Tango leaned away. "Are you cornering him?"

"How else am I gonna grab him before he runs?"

"You're supposed to show him he doesn't have to run!" Solidarity squawked, flailing his arms out. "I bet you stomp around the poor thing and shout too, you grump!"

Tango's jaw fell open, too shocked to take offence, "I- I don't do that!"

"I bet you do!"

"I don't!"

Done with listening to Tango, apparently, Solidarity spun on his talons, one feather up in the air. "Cats are small, they might be predators but they're still little guys. You need to show him you're safe. Try and put out treats for him and let him eat them on his own, give him space, don't touch him unless he touches you but give him the chance like holding out your hand for him to smell. Don't change things up on him and control your voice around him-"

"This is a lot of work for a cat." Tango muttered to himself.

"It's not that hard!" Solidarity insisted. "Cats need mutual respect, you can't strong-arm them into liking you. You need to make friends with him."

His eyebrow went up, hand waving up and down himself. "I don't know if it's obvious from the fact that I'm spending my work hours talking to a giant parrot- no offence- but I'm not exactly great at the friend thing." More than Solidarity could ever begin to imagine, in fact. Or maybe he could, Tango looked rough, and not in the ruggedly handsome sort of way. He was more "used car salesman who fell into a mosh pit at a NIN concert", as Bdubs had so eloquently put it.

"Oh, shush. No one wants to hear you beat yourself up, mister." The entire bird head rolled in place of its eyes. "Taking care of a cat is probably easier than your job, at least."

"That, we can agree on." He nodded solemnly. "I don't know what I'm even doing, they just shoved this work on me after the last guy... suddenly left..."

A quick glance towards Solidarity, and at the very least he didn't look like he was suspicious. "N- not fun work?"

"No, client's being a pain in the butt."

"A pain-!" Wings flew up, clutching at either side of Solidarity's face. "I- you-! I'm... I'm sure he has his reasons..." The voice came out stiff.

"Oh, he does. I do not envy that fool." Admitted Tango, feeling his head scramble just imagining being in that scenario. The difference was that Jimmy was stupid enough to agree to borrow money. And you only agreed to work with them, because that's so much better, right? "But I have no clue what I'm doing man. It's like..." How on earth did he explain his job without explaining his job? "...Uh, confidential stuff, but it's like if you decided to promote the accountant to security guard and let him keep his paperclips as his weapon. Like, what the hell am I doing here?"

Solidarity's wings folded on top of one another, about as far as they could go before they would pop out of the suit. "I don't know, you seem like you'd be a scary security guard."

"Pssh, I'm the last person who should be a security guard. Anyone who's scared of me's an idiot. Like what can I do? Frown at someone? Look at these noodles!" He threw out his arms, waving them in all their flabby glory. Apparently even that was too much for his unstretched limbs as his shoulder locked up. He sputtered his way through the cramp, trying desperately to find the position that would reverse it.

Solidarity doubled over, grasping desperately at his own head to keep it from falling off. The laughter that echoed out from within it was more like a cackle, hard stops where the mascot was trying his best to restrain himself. Attempt being the key word. For the second time that week Tango felt his ears heat up. He couldn't bring himself to mind. Though he did his best to hide his face in his aching shoulder it did little to stop his own amused - pleased - smile.

Wasn't that a strange feeling? When was the last time he'd had someone laugh around him? Without wanting to punch them in the face for it, of course. His coworkers laughed at him plenty. But this... Maybe it was the most pathetic thing in the world, but he enjoyed it. Even more than when Solidarity's antics made him laugh. Hearing another human being be happy shouldn't feel this good, should it?

For a brief yet infinite moment, Tango became far too aware of how agonizingly miserable the last half decade of his life had been.

When Solidarity finally righted himself, laughter fluttering away, Tango decided they'd spent far too much time on his complaining. "So, how's your job been doing?"

"Oh, absolutely dreadful!" The mascot's hands flew down dramatically as he plopped down besides Tango. "Scar's been insufferable while planning for the end of the month parade, and do you know what cinnamon toast toddler puke mixed with sweaty nylon smells like? I sure do! Never taking pictures with big families again. I mean I don't think I'm supposed to be holding babies in the first place, I don't have the best grip with these wings..."

"Nonsense, you could fly a plane with those." Teased Tango, which got him feathers in the face.

"Shush!"