#i really hate group projects and am slowly going insane

[verystressedcollegestudent]

lord give me the strength not to punch these complete idiots

[nonaddiction]

the death scene + how it looks in my head.

tw for death, drug abuse, overdose, exploitation. if you're here then you probably already know this, but i'd just like to remind you in case.

we're treading very carefully here because i know this is a topic that is deeply sensitive and relevant to me and many others that i am close to. the nature of this scene is troubling and traumatic; it's hard not to toe the line of exploitative and gratuitous, but i will make efforts to avoid that the best i can. at the same time, i think we are all owed a realistic portrayal of the subject matter because it should be acknowledged as horrific and not reduced to something more palatable.

this is only essential to the "canon" and is probably flexible to a lesser degree in the rp setting, but will always remain similar at its core, if not execution. but anyways. mostly just want to write this all down for myself, but i also like providing a visual reference for others. tone is very important to me with all writing and i think references can help project that specific tone better.

noah ripley dies on the night of december 28, 2003 in a downtown los angeles hotel room, but his body is not discovered until the next morning by cleaning staff. the room was not under his name, but belonged to an acquaintance of an acquaintance. he entered the room that evening after running into a group of friends (this word used very lightly because we know that noah doesn't really have any friends) and consumed heavy amounts of opioids, stimulants, and alcohol.

later in the night, noah began convulsing. his companions - some too intoxicated to recognize the situation - fled the room in a panic, leaving him alone in the room.

i'm going to get sidetracked for a second and talk about two movies that are very significant to me.

when i was in high school, i watched m.ysterious skin, which i won't describe in detail but became formative for how i view story, character perspective, and visual media. the final shot of the film focuses on the two lead characters as they process their grief. the room they're in is pitch black around them. it hovers over a wide shot of the subjects, slowly begins to pan out farther and farther, until the screen goes black.

this shot has stayed with me since i first watched it. ngl it's embedded in my head in a way that makes me feel insane, like it fucking haunts me. it was a movie i needed to watch to understand something important at the time and will always be highly regarded in my opinion, but i can also never watch it ever again. hope this helps.

in more recent years, i watched all of us st.rangers, which is film that focuses on similar themes of grief, identity, trauma, and loss of childhood. it also ends with a very similar shot (and i would also say a similar emotion) to the one in m.ysterious skin. pitch black screen, focused on its subjects, slowly panning out. i don't know if i was an intentional homage during production, but feels like a fitting one when comparing the themes.

this made me much less normal when i saw it just because i have this image embedded so deeply into the surface of my brain. anyways

the death scene, which i really hate, but have a clear image of in my head. i always imagine it as something similar. it's a medium shot of noah overhead as he convulses (i have the bridge of l.ykke li's carousel in my head as this plays out but i'll get to that later) and it pulls out slowly. wider and wider shots (we go into the song's outro) and eventually the frame is only black, enveloping the whole scene. credits rolls as i process it.

the song choice: i'm actually reluctant to say whether or not this would be a realistic choice for the scene because we kind of always wanted to use music that was period accurate (pre 2003) but this is the song that i hear when i imagine it currently so. i may come up with a period accurate alternative at some point, but not right now.

carousel's lyrics feel a bit reminiscent of the story. the repetitive cycle that noah lives through, chasing a feeling, instinct towards harm and the addiction to it. not just the addiction to substances, but to the temporary relief - both emotional and physical - and the constant search for it.

i think there are a lot of reasons noah dies in this story and i don't like the thought of it occurring simply to move plot forward or to bait an emotional response. he dies because he's stuck in a cycle that too many people around him enable - people who were responsible for him when he was young and were meant to teach him better - and his inability to cope with the loss of childhood. he doesn't know how to grow up. he dies because a lot of people with the same emotions as him do too. there's so many versions of that same story. and while maybe there is a lesson to be learned from it, i don't think that's necessarily the point. i think the point is that it did happen, it will happen over and over again, in both noah's world and our own. and we won't learn from it.

[horangkwon]

⭐ Veintiocho: I'm so fucking stupid.

wc: 900.

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Sweat ran down the tired girl’s face as she crouched under the scorching sun, her pruning shears were moving carefully between the branches of the big bush, making clean cuts here and there to slowly but securely fill her basket with beautiful, white roses.

—That should be enough— the voice of her coworker cut trough the empty silence, startling her and almost making her drop the delicate flowers; he had been so silent the entire time that it made the girl forget he was even there. —Have you thought of what to say to Jisun?—.

—Of course not— Jiwon sighed, sparing a melancholic glance at her basket —I wish giving her flowers was enough of an apology— and oh, that could have totally been the case if only her friend knew how she had lived through plenty of sleepless nights since their fight, tormented by guilt and regret. The SVT group was falling appart for the lack of communication and she was the only one to blame; tension was so high between her and the rest of the members that it was impossible for her to bring up the topic of their unfinished project into a conversation without feeling like throwing her phone out the window, or burying it uner the roots a palm tree.

Jiwon felt truly sorry, she really did, but how was she supposed to let her message across?

—I know it’s difficult— Wonwoo spoke again, fixing his glasses in a way that reminded her of an anime character… or a therapist, either could be of huge help right now —But I think you’re being too practical— he picked up his tools and gestured for her to follow him back inside —Apologies are supposed to carry emotions, you should stop thinking too much about it and just be honest about how you feel—.

—But what if I don’t know how I feel?— Of course, she felt bad for making Jisun sad, but even after giving it much thought, she still had not found what could have been the reason behind her friend’s behavior —How am I supposed to apologize if I have no idea what I did wrong?—.

—So what you’re saying is… you don’t want Jisun to be mad at you, but you can’t think of a reason for her to be mad at you?— Wonwoo frowned, neatly storing all the tools into their respective cabinets. It was safe to say that he was the most organized staff member, not even once had he misplaced a gadget with the help of a careful and practical system that made organization easy.

Jiwon nodded, an identical frown adorned her concerned face —She literally got mad at me because I decided to keep my private life to myself… Is that so wrong?—. The sudden memory of Chan telling her about how he had found Jisun crying hit her like a truck, making her head spin, nothing was making sense and it was slowly making the team leader go insane —Am I really a bad friend for keeping secrets? I bet she does too…— she mumbled to no one in particular, playing with her nails out of habit.

—Are you sure there’s nothing else?— Wonwoo sat in the only bench of the storage room, expecting a long conversation to unveil. He was used to playing the role of The Listener, as all of the staff members coincidentally opted to ask him for advice or to merely vent their worries; he took pride in being the pacifier of the Caratland Hotel and was more than happy to offer a hand... or an ear.

Jiwon hesitated before taking a seat beside him, because she was not sure whether she had enough time to waste before Jisun was done with her shift. —I guess she could be upset because I indirectly told her that I only see them as teammates and not close friends…— she recalled, and almost dropped the basket after realization hit her. She hated trucks so much. —I’m so fucking stupid—.

—Yes, yes you are—.

—Why did I even say that?!—.

—You were probably under too much stress… At least you realized your mistake, that’s the most important thing—.

—Cool, now I’m too embarrassed to talk to her— Jiwon left the basket on the bench and hugged her knees, burying her face between her arms —I’ve known her for years, but I never took our friendship seriously because I thought that we would go our separate ways in the end— she sniffed, her voice was a trembling mess and tears threatened to spill from her eyes anytime soon —It was her idea to work together, she recruited all the members in the first place, and I always thought that she just wanted to have good grades, but now I see that she actually pictures a future where all of us can work together, even after graduation, and…— her cries interrupted the speech, her heart ached so bad, it was suffocating, but at the same time it was so relieving.

Wonwoo sighed and handed her a tissue —I guess you know what to do now— Jiwon nodded, sniffing a few more times and sanding up again —Good luck—.

—Thank you, for everything— the girl held the basket once more with her trembling hands and bowed with her head slightly —I’ll get going then—.

ㅤ

❝⭐Five Dollars and a Dream.❞

Soonyoung's plan was perfect: get a degree in contemporary dance, upload covers on YouTube, perform on the streets, ???, become rich, and live in a gigantic mansion with a family of tigers. Well, there might be flaws in his logic, but his passion (and a lucky encounter) will push him to make his dreams a reality.

Previous ⭐ Masterlist ⭐ Next

⭐ Taglist: @mitchieki @rubberduckieyourtheone @winterwallacehenderson @brook0310 @merapehlapyaarwaapasaagaya @minhui896 @raely-study @strawberry-svt (Send and ask to be added<3)

[stitchthesewords]

I see your tags about the rendubs divorce arc + Ren running off with Bdubs' ex + Bdubs declaring himself king because he can do it better, and I hear you loud and clear

But I am now here with a counter offer, aka you got my thoughts spinning and this relates to a fic I started but never finished because writing angst makes me too sad. (this ask that ended up way longer than I thought it would oops)

What if renthubs polycule (or some flavor of poly hermits i'm not picky) where the three need some time to mentally recover and process the whole king arc. Ren goes to Doc, Etho goes to his single player world and Bdubs goes to Empires.

Doc ends up helping Ren get through his anxieties and fears after being king, including his dynamic with all the people in the rebellion and the feeling that his friends and partners would hate him for everything, which is of course not actually true. And I think that Ren is the type of guy to process things relatively quick and be able to bounce back. So once he is more stable, he follows everyone to empires.

Bdubs runs away through the rift and declares himself a god on Empires, which shows you about how well he is (not) coping with everything. To me, he is the type to loudly declare that he's over it, but he ends up festering the emotions, particularly when no one else is really talking about the king anymore. He's fine, why wouldn't he be fine, he's a god. (side eyeing joel here as well after dl)

Then Etho. Hmm. I think he isn't as bothered by it by the other two but I'm not 100% sold on that either. There has to be a certain melancholy to knowing your partners aren't in the best headspace and not really being able to do much about it. And the guilt about fighting against them and having to be part of the group to kill them. The third life memories would have to be coming in at full force. It may be lower stakes on hermitcraft but I don't think that matters when the memories are that emotionally charged.

I think that in the chaos of the empires collab and then the start of a new year with new projects and tcg and everything, the three don't really get a chance to sit down and talk. Bdubs is hiding away in the monolith drafting up visions of another grand castle base. Etho and Ren see each other more often with tcg matches and, through a number of casual interactions surrounded by other hermits, decide that maybe it would be time to talk. And there wouldn't be a better excuse to talk than a big project.

So the boat race idea is born. Etho and Ren go out to the ice spikes and scope it out. They end up around a fire made of some spare wood and end up talking well into the night. It starts out with plans and slowly ends in a heart to heart, where they finally express their struggles with everything and their commitment to each other going forward. They fall asleep cuddled together in a sleeping bag under the stars.

And bdubs is still festering. He doesn't stop long enough to realize. His days are filled with planning and designing and gathering materials. He works himself to exhaustion so he is too tired to think about who and what he is missing. He's fine. He builds a throne room.

Em you have no idea how insane this ask made me I am. HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

GOD! GOD! You are soooooooo right about how they would each react and recover/not recover tbh. And its like - Ren isn't 100% but he's like. He's getting there and being up and moving around will help him out - and Bdubs just. HHHHH Bdubs throwing himself into his work to hide from his woes while putting on the 'I'm FINE! ACTUALLY!!!" im ill. And Etho just having. No clue really god bless him he's looking between the two of them and trying to figure out what the best way to approach everything is.

GOD and then the way you thought about rentho bonding and finally talking bc of the TCG and then going out to build the boat race while bdubs unknowingly is festering back home im hhhhhhh. I am normal about this i am so normal. [They should. play clocks against each other in the tcg where they bond. For no reason. ]

Imagine coming back from having a boat race and doing fun stuff out in the ice to find bdubs having completely thrown himself into an insane task without break and its like. you've gotta figure out how to approach it he cant just fester but he's closed off and hiding behind work to not have to address his feelings. I am normal I am feeling soooooooooooooooooooo normal.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

noo i don’t think ur wrong for that, in my opinion fanfiction as an interesting… is just a very grey area type of thing in general, and if u don’t like reading sexual wlw fics (with idols) then like, u shouldn’t be made to do that lol… i get it. tbh i don’t rly read female idol fics, i like a few girl groups that i keep up with and 2 girls that come to mind that i really like are chaeryoung (itzy) and nayoung (lightsum)… like they just give me butterflies lmaooo but like i don’t even rly see them in that much of a sexual way but it’s def like a gay way.. i sound insane but again, i fear you understand me😔😔😔 but bottom line, if ur not into smth in fics.. that’s fine. it would be weird if ppl were like “u have to read [fic genre]!!!!” lmfaoo

i had a slight issue when i started reading fics again with toxic and noncon stuff and honestly i still read things sometimes and am just like… wtf is wrong with ppl😳😳 but i also understand this is meant to be a safe space and it’s all fiction and sending hateful messages to people is not productive so if i don’t like smth i just don’t continue reading it or try to avoid fics with similar content lol.. something more ppl should do! but i obviously like toxic headcanons and such now but it’s.. fiction, it’s like,, a roleplay almost it’s like a story and it’s not something i would ever want to experience irl.. and i think it’s just one of those things that if u get it, u get it and if u don’t, u don’t.

im also slowly starting to understand more and more the idea of dark fic content as a coping mechanism, and i think that’s really cool. it’s definitely not for everyone and that’s okay! but again, if it’s not for u, don’t do it, simple as that.

i don’t want to turn ur inbox into a soapbox or whatever the expression is, so chubby chaser jake time! im just making excuses to talk about chubby!reader but of course this is ur blog though and i like talking to u so if u ever did want to talk more about such topics im down!! im just getting myself away from going on a tangent atm

jake would 100% think it’s really hot if ur collarbones weren’t visible at all because of how soft u were🤭🤭 would go crazy for the arm pudge that sticks out from your sleeves, being pushed outwards by your bra wiring.. and if you lift your arms up and your shirt rides up to expose the underside of your tummy, it’s over for him<333 he looks so soft n sweet in the new enha concept pics.. need that jake to be an obsessed loser boy… again, going dark mode, thinking about him masturbating at home to pictures of u on social media thinking about getting his hands on your soft squishy body and making u all his :((((

- 🥟 anon

Bro that girl from itzy is sooooo pretty, i honestly can't understand how some people call her ugly??? but yeah, fanfiction is full of grey areas and of course I'm not forcing myself to read a type of fiction I don't enjoy. Still, I'm afraid I could be also be categorized with those guys that have the madonna-whore complex which is the only thing I'm scared 😭 I understand that is not a requirement for me or any human to sexualize people. Still, at the same time I hate that my aversion for reading fics with real women idols as lovers could also be seen as a way to project them as people that shouldn't be seen in a sexual light when all women are individuals who deserve feeling pleasure too (okay maybe right now I sound crazy but I swear I have many things in my mind that I can connect with this idea I have). Well, in the end I know that I'm not having any kind of real relationship with them so not the world or any person will be affected by the fact that I don't enjoy that kind of content, I'm just an overthinker who reads and feels too much 😭😭😭

Also, sure people can enjoy any kind of content while not harming others. Personally, I love death dove do not eat, dubcon, noncon, etc, and it's totally okay to see dark fiction as a coping mechanism, but I don't think that is the only reason why people enjoy it or should base liking dark content (not that you said this, it's just a little thing I've had in my head). People, like I said, can like anything they want, and dark fanfiction it's all words and no real act of harm, and writers, and readers, being real individuals in a society with values to coexist, should understand what is correct or not in real life, and we can't control people by hiding or creating certain a kind of content, if they want to find something, they're going to do it, whether is on tumblr, ao3 or any other platform. Also, I find it dumb how the people who go out to defend the morality of fanfiction (not only with dark content but with smut in general) are also the ones sending a ton of hate to people who do enjoy it as if they had a special spot in heaven to fight for 😭. (sorry I'm half asleep so maybe I don't make any sense and I'm just blabbering, I can talk about nothing and just keep and keep going)

CHANGING SUBJECTS, JAKE WITH CHUBBY!READER... I can't lie, the last concept pictures are fucking good. I love the lightning, the palette, THE PICTURE OF HIM UNDER THE TABLE WITH THOSE GLASSES???? It's totally dark fic potential. I can't help but imagine obsessed!coworker!Jake hiding in the weirdest places to spy on you. Jake going under the desk and looking up at you with those puppy eyes and those glasses begging to eat you out. So pervert!Jake too, tilting his glasses and maybe sometimes his eye twitching?! (that maybe sounds insane but with that pretty smile I imagine him looking at your mouth when you talk, his eye twitching and then moving his eyes down to your chest, pretending is because of something he can't control 😭). AND THE SHIRT THAT RIDES UP, ARE WE THINKING THE SAME??? Maybe loser!Jake working in a store with you and asking you to help him accommodate things up just to see your uniform moving with your movements 😭- this boy would totally make something sick too, maybe masturbating with pictures he took of you while you were in the changing room, or what if he's a manager... asking for some help after the end of a shift and convincing you to open your legs for him if you want that special help from him with your schedule since you have an important exam 🥺, oh but, also, if he feels like being kind to you because he likes you a lot, he won't try to fuck you, not at all, yeah, Jake is such a respectful boy, he only wants to see your plushy legs and maybe for you to show him your pretty ass to then slid his cock between your thick thighs... and maybe you could get used to the extra help too, telling him that he could slip inside if he gives you extra vacations day too...

[ram-de]

candlelit

never in years i'd be happy to feel awkwardness. what the hell, me. short story is. it's final weeks. let's ignore all the underlying problem like unmet assignments and other stuff.

there's this one class that had us form groups. it's not a mandatory class to take, but i took it because it fills up the required credits. i filled in my name in a random group for the conversational project. i know no one there. literal no one. and... i pushed my luck. and you know what... i couldn't care less😂

perhaps i am in the brink of insanity that a glimmer of life is making me all jittery. but screw it i'll take whatever crumbs... i am not unhinged i am just... i don't know how to pour it into words!!! i am a definitely not a nervous wreck of a train accelerating towards a dead end of a tunnel in a dark place and a loud noise and a steaming smoke coming out of the furnace. maybe a bit. but it doesn't matter...!

i've felt so distant from... everything. college-related. i've walked by my own simply because it's convenient and also because i suck at trying to reach out and maintain a proper connection. but. i don't actually hate like talking to people. it's the dread that i felt, the self-imposed pressure that i'm going to mess up, the expectations to be serving more into the interaction. i don't hate interacting... in fact, i like it. i like it, and it's being important enough for me to not wanting to mess up. but that instead turned into a bigger challenge because i ended up straying away from interacting exactly because i don't want to mess up. so i avoid any chances for encounter, so that i don't mess up. but then how can i actually interact that way?

it's funny how that works.

so... when i was forced, not exactly forced, when all the situation pushed me into putting myself into interaction... what else can i be except of being the same old me? i was nervous. i was scared of even texting in the group chat. like what the heck should i say. other members are texting back and forth. and i was like... this is... so... i am so screwed. ugh it's too late to send a message. i'm going to stand out. but i said fuck it. and then sent an introductory message, "hey, i'm [name] and i'm from [major] studies." or something like that.

and there i felt it. the... the very recognizable, familiar feeling. emotion. awkwardness. the heart beating, wondering how others will think of the message. the million second thoughts of doubting and all. the itchy self not knowing how to position myself. the dreadful silent reply (for a while, because they replied soon)weirdly, i let out a chuckle. a groan of something along ugh...! and. and it's so comforting.

it's so comforting. it really is. i missed a lot by being distant. i know. and i could never knew if i'd be out there one day. but it's so oddly. oddly endearing.

awkwardness. for me, it's a more gentle form of being anxious. rather than scolding me for messing up, being awkward is just. well. i guess, it just happen. cricket noises. but, as if whistling, it sizzles and slowly fades after a while. it's so endearing for me to feel awkward. because i haven't felt that. i've felt anxious, distant and so... not-me. like losing myself.

at least i can relate with how i used to be, how i always be, of being awkward. at least. i can feel like. maybe it's not bad. not everything is going to be. no promises though. i can always fall and heck maybe i'll take back my own words when stuff get heavier. but. it's so weird. i think i've wrote it in one of my entries back then. being awkward sort of... acts like it's a sign of being alive. and. maybe i needed that. a bit. for now.

-----------------------

EDIT. AS PER LITERALLY 30 MINUTES LATER.

i am eating my words. i am munching it right now. i am now crunching on all the bad and good parts of my words. i am now withering and fading away. yes. exactly. now, this. this, is anxiousness. there it is. it is not at all endearing. it is not at all comforting. it's demanding, it's paceful, it's pressuring. it's telling me to work. but my body couldn't move. only the thoughts eating me away in a dreadful silence.

no. this isn't about the group projects. it's for an entirely different the unmet assignment. the consequences has come to knock on my door. and one thing i am scared. no. AAHHHHH!!!!!!! stop. stop. it's not life threatening. it's not. i assure you, me. i mean, in the grand scheme of things, maybe. but does it cause me to bleed? no. does it causes me to feel like i'm in pain? emotionally, perhaps. does it literally threaten the physicality and the mortality of my being? no...? exactly. i mean, not really, but no. you're not going to... because of this.

it's exhausting. dealing with these. but people learn to live with it. maybe some heal. some deal with it less in a way that's more practical. i don't know how i'm dealing with it, if i'm doing that in the first place.

there's something in my brain that sort of understand the presence of consequences but couldn't properly wire up that and translate into urgency until it's too late. wow. fancy way to say i procrascinate. for things that matters. finding sleazy way out. thinking i'm going to be okay. in a way, true. but i can't deal with it forever like this. it's not going to be okay always. in a way, true also.

so what's the root of it? i've blamed distraction. i've blamed my environtment. i've blamed my social skills, or my lackthereof. what else...? what haven't i point out? me...? i point myself a lot. so what... what... i feel like it's so simple to get that answer out of me. so simple to connect the wires back where it shouldn't be. but i don't understand it. i don't understand why am i... so anxious. so... apathetic. sometime.

ah... i've deal with it. by what? delaying it one step further. i can't always rely on being pushed by external factors. the problem is inside me.

ahhh!!! everything is so confusing. not going to undermine the fact that i've accomplished sending a message to the group chat though. ha... i felt like screaming.

[hee4won]

hate(d) | nishimura riki x reader

requested by @onionhaseyeo i’m so sorry if this isn’t what you wanted but for some reason i got super excited

a/n: this is my first time writing a fic(?) i guess it could be considered.. i just had an idea i liked for the request and it felt more like a fic than a headcanon :] i hope it’s not too bad !

word count: 2.1k

warnings: probably some grammatical errors, other than that none. (lowercase intended)

tags: e2l, slight angst, slight fluff

you hate nishimura riki. when you tell others how you feel about him they always have the same unoriginal response, “hate is such a strong word.” and that, is exactly why you chose it. 

now, in order to really understand why your hatred runs so deep, let’s get into the Three W’s! WHY do you hate him so much? he stole your best friend, she ended up developing feelings for him and ghosting you, she moved away, he never apologized for it. WHEN did you realize nishimura riki was the worst thing to ever happen to you? 7th grade, it’s always 7th grade. WHERE did the beginning of the end commence? the cafeteria, your friend decided to spill her guts out in front of the whole lunch table, only to be humiliated not long after. 

there you sat, glaring at the back of riki’s head. anyone from a mile away could sense your distaste when it came to him. truth be told, no one could understand why, and you never cared to explain. you figured the situation between the two of you or - just you and an unknowing boy -  was personal and should be kept private. you were really good at keeping it a secret too, so good that riki himself couldn’t pinpoint the issue you had with him. 

for the most part you did your best to avoid him, whether it be physically or when he was brought up in conversation between classmates. ni-ki, as people on good terms with him would address him, was a really friendly student. he didn’t pick fights, kept his teasing to a minimum, and somehow got good grades despite sleeping in and skipping classes. 

going to school knowing his sweet, smiling face would be one of the first things you would see in the morning was what kept you in bed during first period. just the idea of him was revolting, and you simply weren’t strong enough to hold your ground right after waking up.

that was until your first period teacher emailed you letting you know a group project was coming up and it counted as 60% of your overall grade. all you could do was send a friendly reply, close the laptop, and scream into your pillow. you were going to be seeing nishimura riki for the first time in almost a month. which you considered to be the best month of your life.

you were alert all morning, barely getting any sleep the night before from how nervous you were. it actually wasn’t as bad as you thought. you were late, which meant everyone already picked who they were going to group with. and, to your luck, riki was nowhere to be foun-

*bump*

“oh my gosh, i am so sorry. . . y/n?” sigh, of course it had to be him. you flashed a limp smile and hurried over to an empty seat. you noticed his hand go forward then drop down to his side, almost like he was trying to bring you back. “oh! ni-ki,” even the teacher knows his nickname? how wonderful. “what perfect timing, you and y/n will be partners for the project, i’ll send the rubric out this afternoon. class dismissed!��

your legs were like jelly, since when did you become this way? sure, you hate him but. . . not being able to move? it was different, it was new. riki noticed the look of confusion on your face and cautiously made his way over to you once all the other students cleared the classroom. “hey, y/n. i haven’t seen you in a while, have you been doing alright?” why on earth was he concerned about you? so shameless.

“yeah, i’m fine, thanks,” you glared at him while standing up and purposefully bumping into his shoulder. bad move. your knees gave out right then, luckily, riki held onto you before you could hit the cold floor. you sighed in defeat, today just wasn’t your day, and mister nishimura just wasn’t the person you wanted to be this close to.

“do you need something? or is there another reason you won’t let go of my arm,” every word had a hint of poison mixed in it. riki muttered a small apology and quickly released you. “i just wanted to let you know that we can work on the project at my place, only if you want,” he gave a boxy closed-mouth smile, almost as if he was trying to act cute. disgusting.

“whatever, give me your address and i’ll come by at 4.” and with that, you two went your separate ways.

after school

as you made your way to riki’s house, you were running over every possible scenario that could occur. you wanted to avoid arguing, only because you took your grades very seriously. but does he? you couldn’t help but feel nervous and slightly jittery as you got closer to his front steps. oh! the door is open. but. . . no riki?

you called out for him a couple times until hearing laughter and the crunching of chips coming down from the second floor. of course, he’s playing the game. trudging up the stairs you wiped off your sweaty palms, mentally preparing yourself before inviting yourself into his room.

“sunghoon, shut up! it’s not even like that, you’re so weird,” he was so loud. “jake, you too! as if you haven’t been trying to swoon that girl in your third period for the past two months now. haha!” well, boys will be boys.

you open the door and riki notices immediately. he throws his headset and controller down to the floor. “y/n, you scared me,” he was almost out of breath. “oh my bad, i called out for you but you didn’t hear me so. . .” you fiddled with your fingers awkwardly. riki muttered a quick, “it’s okay” and gestured for you to take a seat on his bed.

picking up his headset, he told the cheeky upper-class boys that he would talk to them later. grabbing his supplies and computer, he took a seat next to you. you shifted away from him a little, not comfortable with the closeness between the two of you. he didn’t seem to notice, that or he just didn’t care.

“okay, so, have you already looked over the rubric?” crickets. “helloo, earth to y/n! have you checked the rubric yet?” “OH! yes, i have, ha,” you gave a quick reply, trying to pretend the awkward moment of you staring at him never happened.

ha? are you insane? you were nervous yes, and you thought it was because of the bad terms you two were on but. . . this nervousness felt a bit different.

“i also wrote up a quick outline during lunch,” you took the paper out of your bag and moved to hand it to him. “ooh nice, you’re such a scholar,” you gave him a lighthearted “shut up” before looking back at your laptop.

did he feel that? your fingers touched. they did touch, right? you can’t be imagining all of this. Y/N. WHAT ARE YOU DOING? YOU HATE HIM, REMEMBER?

“uh, y/n? why do you look like you’ve been holding in a wet fart for the past three minutes?” he was being playful while also holding genuine concern because of your recent actions. your jaw drops, you were always bad at keeping a poker face. but you knew you had to go back to your cold state, there was no way you were going to finish the project by gawking at him. he has such pretty lips by the way, how did you not notice sooner?

it had been a few hours since you guys started working on the project. you checked the time, 8:00 pm. “hey, riki,” you began with a small yawn. “y/n, you know you can call me ni-ki, right? that’s what all my friends call me,” his eyes suddenly widened noticing your discomfort. “wait, i mean. . . only if you want to!”

you cleared your throat and just asked for the bathroom. once inside and closing the door behind you, you felt the need to cry. sob, even. what is going on? why do you feel so bad for being around him? are you a traitor? is it wrong to be laughing and giggling like the two of you are besties?

you turned the water on, hoping it would drown out the sound of your muffled cries. unfortunately, you have some awfully loud sniffles. riki came running to where you were and knocked on the door. he spoke softly, “y/n? are you okay? can i come in?” what was the point in saying no? it is his house, and maybe if you told him. . . you’d feel better.

as you opened the door and looked up at him, the look of worry on his face made your heart ache. gosh, why do you care about him so much? he looked at your tear stained face and slowly reached out his hand, giving you a look that pleaded for your approval. you pass a small nod, and almost sank into the warmth of his hand on your cheek. he pulled you in for a hug as you cried for a little while longer. “do you wanna talk about it?”

here it was, here was the chance to let him know what you’ve been wanting to since 7th grade. you took a moment to steady your breathing and gather courage to look him in the eyes. you told him everything, from the beginning of 7th grade, to the day it all happened, all the way to where the two of you stood now.

he just sat there, probably trying to process everything you had randomly dumped on him. you were about to apologize and pack your things, but for some odd reason, he smiled? “ni-ki? what’s so funny? i was being serious,” his smile only grew bigger, “no i know, i just find it so funny how you had so much agaisnt me meanwhile i just wanted you to like me.”

he?? wanted you to like him??? hmmm. “what do you mean. . . wanted me to like you?” you were really curious, “i’ve had a crush on you since 7th grade, that’s why i rejected your friend later on. i never knew it would hurt you in the process, and for that i am sorry. very sorry.” you let out a small chuckle, “it’s not your fault, really. now that i’m older i think i was only mad that you two didn’t end up together because i liked you too. i just couldn’t live with myself for liking the same boy my best friend liked. it’s stupid, i know.”

riki reached out for your hand, which you obviously let him have. “you’re a good friend.” he flashed you a sweet and caring smile. you let out a sigh of relief, it felt like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders. all this time you had been pushing for yourself to hate him, while it was all just a plot to get rid of your feelings for him. crazy.

it was 11:00 pm.

you and riki had already finished the project and were laying on his floor. the both of you just staring at the ceiling and stealing glances at each other. what lovesick little kids.

after noticing the time, you hopped up and told him you really needed to go. he gave you a small pout with puppy eyes trying to get you to stay, and of course, it was hard but you’d rather leave now and see him later than get grounded and not see him for another month. “i can just text you, don’t make that face.”

he escorted you down the stairs, both of you moving discreetly, careful not to wake the boy’s parents. he opened the door for you and you turned around, gazing at him. “what are you thinking?” he asked with a tired smile on his face and small pieces of fluffy hair sticking up in every direction. you gave a shy smile and pecked his lips. he was very surprised, but also very happy.

“nothing.” you said, holding a cheeky grin in an attempt to hide your shyness. “wow, just to think that you hate my guts,” riki poked fun at you.

“hm, hate is such a strong word.”

“what would you call it then?”

“i would say. . . i hate(d) you. past tense.”

the two of you just laughed, both of you yawning shortly after.

“goodnight, mr. ni-ki.”

“goodnight, y/n.”

and with that, the two of you went your separate ways. but this time, with mutual feelings.

oh and btw, the project got you guys an A+ ;).

[lounaryx]

(Hermitcraft AU) Cubfan

Mad scientist Cubfan design for my Intertwined Fates AU! :D Long post incoming!

More sketches and information!

|~+~|

Cub had forgotten how long he had been running. His body was starting to give but even if he collapsed to the ground, the Vanguard wouldn’t be able to catch him because they wouldn’t recognize him. As much as he hate his new form, a damned older bearded man, at least no one would know who he really was.

That thought made him laugh, laugh as he ran and ran. He really had gone insane, hadn’t he? After all those inhumane experiments, all for his own curious gain and wanting to create a perfect being, maybe, just maybe, he should just rest. All those years of blood-stained hands and coat, it made him feel numb.

Seeing the outside world, the lush greenery of the woods, Cub had long forgotten the feel of the fresh breeze, the smell of petrichor, the sound of the rustling leaves. He was confined in the laboratory for so long and occasionally only going out to hunt down new subjects, he didn’t have the time to experience nature.

And here he is, running for his life through the woods, getting his coat torn by the branches and the shoes soaked in mud after the rain. 

The idea of rest was becoming more apparent and enticing to Cub now.

So he let his body fall to the ground, laying his back. His whole back is covered in mud, all the while he was laughing. He was laughing like a maniac.

He really had gone insane, hadn’t he?

He didn’t hear the rustling footsteps, a voice coming after him. He didn’t care anymore, he didn’t care if the Vanguard would catch him. Let them be! All he wanted is to rest now.

A figure loomed over him and it turned out to be a man. It’s immediately apparent that there were scars marring his face. He was smiling, his verdant green eyes boring into his black.

“Why hello there, sir! I hope I am not interrupting.” His bright smile turned into a sheepish one as he ran his hand over his brown hair, “Can you help me find my way out of this forest? I’m sorry if I’m bothering you, but I am horrible with directions. I really need to get home.”

|~+~|

Okay, horrible writing out of the way, next one on the list is Cubfan!

Cubfan is a Vex-hybrid and among the variety of Vex subspecies, he is a Shapeshifter. He can shapeshift at will, but since he is not well-versed in transformation, his ability is very limited. So far, he had only transformed into looking like an older bearded man, a mummy, and a moleman. He can partially turned into a Vex and completely turn into one. In his Complete Vex form, he can phase through walls and hover on the ground with his psuedo-wings. Unlike other Vex species, he can’t really fly.

Cub was once renowned for being a mad scientist, a mad scientist conducting illegal experiments on various creatures, sentient or not. He would kidnap them, drug them, and experiment for his own curious gain and create a perfect being. Many had died in the process, some escaped and had to live with his horrific experiments, many had been locked up in a cruel state of cryostasis.

He had once an assistant, a sheep hybrid he had experimented on who unwillingly became his assistant. His assistant ran away and years later appeared in front of him again in the form of Zedaph when he joined Hermitcraft. Zedaph didn’t recognize Cubfan (who joined a season prior) because he transformed into another appearance. Cub was relieved by this since he had changed for the good at the time and didn’t want to cause any drama; however, he felt really guilty for what he had done to him.

During his mad scientist days, the Vanguard Force (the interdimensional police force of Minecraftia) barged into his laboratory and tried to arrest him. Cub, with his wall-phasing ability, managed to escape and shapeshifted his young look into an older bearded man. He ran and ran through the forest until he met Scar, who is terribly lost. Cub didn’t want to give attention to the man, yet Scar insisted into helping him since he is the first person he had seen for a long time.

Finally, Cub gave up and helped Scar out of the forest. Scar is very thankful and, in return, wanted him to join him with his friends because they need another builder. Cub, having nothing to do and the man is REALLY insistent, decided to tag along. 

He met up with the Kingdom Craft group and their leader, Python. They are a group assigned to design and build a medieval place as a commission for diamonds. Cub started building with them and slowly changed for the better. He also grew closer with Scar and because of this, Scar opened up to him.

Scar is a Half-Terranian (will be expounded in Scar’s bio) and Half-Vex. He was duped by someone who turned out to be a Fae Vex (Vexes that are mischievous and deceptive, they like to fool people and punish their gullibility). The Fae Vex turned him into a Vex and he hadn’t been able to adapt to his new abilities. Wanting to help a new friend, he taught Scar all about Vex magic.

During his stay, the Vanguard came after the group, but not for him since they didn’t recognize him. Apparently, there are people in the group that are hunted down for their crimes particularly Python since he helped the members hide from the policing force. Many of the members Python, who had no choice, made them stay temporarily in the Hermitcraft Season 3 world since he was already a member there.

Having nowhere to go, Python tried to persuade into letting his remaining members join the group. Xisuma, at first, was very doubtful and unsure about letting them join. They already had members being chased by the Vanguard at the time (like False for attempted assassination and Zueljin who became complicit with her crimes by hiding her from the Vanguard). Still, he gave in and let them join for the next season since during that time, everyone was finishing up their projects.

In the next season, he joined the Hermitcraft group along with Welsknight, Stress, Ren, and Iskall. It seemed that things are looking up to Cub now as he slowly tried to build a new life for him.

[Even though Stress joined during Season 5, it would be weird that she wouldn’t join them in this timeline so I made her join early in Season 4.]

It all seemed fine, until Season 8 came and stripped away his disguise. It looked like a few hermits recognized who he was back then...

|~+~|

No notes to add so no more info dump. Hooray!

Master post link for the AU if you’re interested :)

[self-proclaimed-chaotic-good]

Speak your Heart | Cassian Andor x Reader (Oneshot)

Words: 2395

A/N: Hey, look, it's another "not exactly unrequited love, they're just idiots" fic starring our favorite grumpy captain.

May the fourth be with you!

Summary: You may or may not have a crush on your longtime friend, Cassian, but he thinks that you may or may not have a crush on his friend Bodhi. It's up to your friends to quickly fix that.

-

When you laugh so hard, you would laugh with your whole body, clutching at your stomach or rubbing your cheeks when they grew sore. Your laugh was the most amazing sound Cassian had ever heard. It wasn’t a soft melodious sound, but it was a genuine, wholehearted laugh that would make anyone smile and join in. But, right now, he hated it. If it was caused by Jyn, he would have been fine. He knew you enjoyed her sarcastic humor and banter. No, it was caused by his other best friend. The quiet pilot that was always full of surprises.

You finally regained your breath and slapped the pilot’s shoulder. “Bodhi, Bodhi, tell them about the time you had to lead a small team of new recruits,” you said.

Bodhi rolled his eyes. “Oh, that one. So, there was this new guy who was acting all big, bragging about his knowledge of ships and how he fought numerous stormtroopers on his own. Long story short, he almost caught one of the Skippers on fire from his failed attempt of hot-hiring it and when the troopers came, he screamed and flung his blaster across the docks.”

“We had to go and save him,” you added. “Bodhi made it so we were able to get the cargo and save the guy all in one piece. He can think of plans so quickly under pressure. I don’t know how he does it.”

Bodhi ducked his head and laughed. “Well, I had an idea of how stormtroopers think. It wasn’t too difficult. The way they acted, it seemed like they were also new recruits, so it wasn’t too hard to take care of them.”

“Better watch out, (Y/n). If Bodhi ends up being full himself with all those compliments you’re stuffing him, then Cassian will have another handful to deal with,” Jyn said.

“Yeah, the other being you, of course,” Bodhi shot back. “I don’t think I’ll ever be like that, though.”

Jyn smirked. “But, can you even imagine the two of us ganging up on Cassian like that?”

He nodded with a wide smile. “He’d go insane. Probably abandon us on the nearest moon.”

“Guys,” you said, shaking your head, “that would mean I’d never hear the end of it about you two.”

Jyn wrapped her arm around your shoulder. “That’s right. Cassian tells you everything, doesn’t he?” She exchanged a knowing look with Bodhi.

“Not everything,” you muttered, crossing your arms as you thought about the numerous times where Cassian would avoid you for no reason when he had been telling you almost everything about the missions he had in the past and the ones he had recently come back from. You weren’t sure when your friendship with him had reached the point where the two of you would exchange stories late at night before finally attempting sleep, but it felt effortless.

You sighed, leaning your back against Bodhi as he carried off his conversation with Jyn and the others. There were times where you’d slip deep in thought and it occurred often enough that your friends learned to let you be unless they knew you were in a bad mood prior to it. Your eyes drifted away from the group, looking around the canteen nonchalantly.

All those faces, new and seasoned. The war never cared which ones they were, it just takes. Many would have sworn off on sentimental attachments and at one point, you did, too. That is, until you met Cassian and Kaytwo. You rarely saw them apart and it wasn’t until you were assigned to assist them as their technician did you have any close contact with either of them. Many spoke about the stoic spy who always got the job done, no matter the cost.

Cassian Andor. A man who had been in the fight since he was a child. You thought that a man like him wouldn’t want to get close to anyone unless they were solely a means to an end. So, when you saw Cassian panic after K-2SO got shot and damaged his arm and wiring, you were shocked to say the least. You had to help him drag the droid back to the U-Wing and try to stabilize him with the resources you had on hand while Cassian powered up the ship and flew away from danger. He had let out a sigh of relief when you told him that Kaytwo would be fine and repairable once the three of you reach base. Since then, you realized that living beings always end up getting attached to something or someone no matter how hard they tried.

Your eyes ended up landing on the very captain that occupied your thoughts more than half the time. Without realizing it, a smile slowly spread across your face. You were definitely attached to someone, alright.

Bodhi nudged your back and smiled. “Go talk to him.”

You turned your head to Bodhi and shook it. “I don’t know. Last time I did, he stormed off. I don’t know why, though. Maybe it was something I said, but I’m not sure what would have caused him to do that.”

Cassian froze as you looked at him with a smile. His heart began to beat fast as he thought of how to respond. But when he decided to settle for a smile, you turned your head away and towards Bodhi whose face was inches from yours.

“You should go talk to them, you know,” Kaytwo said. “There’s a ninety-five percent chance that you are misinterpreting (Y/n)’s and Bodhi’s relationship.”

“And what is that five percent?”

“That misinterpretation percentage used to be much higher, but given how long you want to prolong your lovesick yearning, that percentage would only decrease with time.”

Cassian grunted at this, walking away from the droid and out of the canteen. “And what are the odds of this biting us in the ass in the future?”

“Depending on what you choose.”

“I don’t have time for this. There’s a meeting in half an hour. Are you going or not?”

“Of course I am, Cassian. Your mind will be too preoccupied to pay any attention. But, remember what I said-”

“Let's start going.”

You stood up just as Cassian and Kaytwo began to walk out of the canteen. There was a sour expression on Cassian’s face as he spoke to Kaytwo, making you sink back down in your seat. “He’s busy,” you muttered.

Bodhi glanced over his shoulder then shook his head. “But that’s just how Cassian looks most of the time.”

“I don’t want to bother him.” You swung your legs around so you were facing everyone again.

“I don’t think he’d ever mind if it was you.”

“Bodhi’s right, (Y/n). Maybe you can try when his meeting’s done,” Jyn said.

You sighed. “Alright.”

-

The Rogue One crew was being sent off to another mission off planet for who knows how long. It was risky as it was within enemy lines near a major Imperial facility. You knew that they were fully capable individuals and together they were unstoppable, but you couldn’t help but worry whenever your friends left the tarmac of the base.

Maybe you should tell him before he leaves. Everyone’s been telling you to make the first move, since Cassian wasn’t budging any time soon. You were scared of the rejection, of him putting up and fortifying the walls around himself, and you would be losing a really good friend.

You had waited for Cassian outside of the meeting room. It took longer than you expected, but as soon as it ended, you jumped up from the crates and rushed over. Cassian halted as soon as he saw you. As you stepped towards him, he looked up at Kaytwo, then brushed past you. Your eyes widened as you watched him leave.

“I would tell you what was wrong, but Cassian told me not to,” Kaytwo said, awkwardly patting your head before strolling over to where Cassian had gone.

You collapsed on Jyn’s cot as soon as you entered her quarters, wondering why he was suddenly acting this way towards you. Jyn continued to talk about the time she was able to meet Princess Leia and how they had to rescue themselves when they were separated by the crew. You hummed along to show that you were listening, absentmindedly helping her pack as she threw clothes and gear onto the cot.

A heavy piece of cloth was thrown at your face, your surroundings falling into darkness. You pulled the jacket off and saw Jyn standing in front of you with hands on her hips. She raised an eyebrow, snatching the jacket from you and shoving it into her pack.

“We’re leaving tonight, but Cassian typically gets to the U-Wing an hour before us,” Jyn hinted.

“So… should I go now or…”

She sighed in frustration. “Run!”

“Okay, okay!” you shouted as she chased you out of her quarters with a blaster.

You weaved past tired pilots and mechanics as they retired for the night, only a few bothered to spare you a glance before yawning and continuing on to their respective quarters. There was a lamp shining next to the U-Wing where Cassian was loading the ship and checking to see if he had everything for the mission. Kaytwo took care of the heavy load and went to check on the ship’s condition.

“Cassian!” you called out.

His head shot up, a series of emotions flashing across his face when he realized that it was you. He was always happy to see you, but he wasn’t sure that you’d be friendly with him still after he had been giving you the cold shoulder lately. He set down his datapad and crossed his arms as you skidded to a stop right in front of him.

“You should be asleep. I heard that they had given you a pile of projects to work on this week,” he said.

His eyes widened as you gripped his shoulders and pulled him away from the U-Wing. Kaytwo popped his head out of the ship and shook it before going back to his tasks. You found an area behind stacks of crates where the two of you could be alone. You took a moment to catch your breath before opening your mouth for the rushed speech you had made in your head on your way to reach him.

“I’ll look after Bodhi if that’s what you’re worried about,” he said.

“What? No! I’m not worried about him. Well, I am. I’m always worried about you guys. Why would you say that all of a sudden?”

His eyes looked everywhere but you, your hands slipping from his shoulders as he stepped back. “If that’s not what you ran here for, then hurry it up. We’ve got a mission to go to soon.”

So all that gossiping that Chirrut and Baze had been doing with the others were true. Cassian was jealous. Apparently, he thought that you had feelings for Bodhi instead. “You know, I always thought that you were one of the smartest people I know. I guess I was wrong.”

He narrowed his eyes. “What-”

“Captain Cassian Andor, the leader of Rogue One, the very team that helped steal the Death Star blueprints, the spy who could get intel out of anyone, yet he can’t tell whether his friend is entirely in love with him.”

It took an extremely long and grueling long minute for that information to process, but he wasn’t sure if he was processing it correctly. He frowned as he looked at you. “Do you mean…”

You sighed, placing your hands on his shoulders again. “I. Am. In. Love. With. You. You. Idiot,” you said slowly, shaking him with each word. “Just thought I should let you know before you leave. You don’t have to respond, but I wasn’t sure when I’d be able to tell you.”

“(Y/n), I…”

“Just kiss them, Cassian!” Kaytwo shouted.

Cassian turned to scowl at his droid, but you pulled him towards you and smashed your lips on his. He stumbled back in shock, his back hitting the crates. You pulled away in concern, checking to see if he was alright. He glanced at the screen of his datapad, then turned back to you.

“We have half an hour left,” he said before pulling you in for another kiss.

The second kiss took your breath away as he pressed himself against you. His heart pounded in his chest, a giddy feeling spreading throughout his body as you eagerly returned the kiss. He wasn’t sure when he fell, but it was gradual and natural and it had caused a conflict in him when he thought that you were in love with Bodhi instead. Bodhi was his friend as well, and if the two of you made each other happy, there wasn’t much he could do but let it happen. Yet, here you were in his arms, reciprocating his feelings.

The two of you finally pulled away for air. Cassian rested his forehead against yours and sighed in content. “I love you, too.”

“Finally!” you heard Jyn’s voice shout.

You and Cassian walked away from your secluded crate corner and saw that the crew had already gathered. They all grinned widely before loading their things onto the ship.

“I… I need to go,” Cassian said softly.

You nodded. “I know. Better come back to me in one piece, captain.”

“Of course I will. Wait for me?”

“Of course.”

He was glad that you had made the first move. If not, then he would have ran off from one mission to another without telling you how he felt. Then, who knows where the two of you would be. He would have probably lost you.

As he entered the U-Wing, all of his friends turned to him with a smile. Bodhi stepped forward and patted his shoulder. “It was about time,” he said.

“Yeah, we were going to lock the two of you in a dark room together for two hours if you guys didn’t make a move,” Jyn said.

Baze snorted. “I think sending them out on a mission together would have worked as well.”

“The Force would have found a way,” Chirrut piped up.

He was definitely glad that you made the first move.

[gatecoeur]

hey so, i’m now officially gonna make a slow return onto here - it’s been well over a month, and frankly i missed being on here. i guess i should give a lil update on my life for those who care, but i’ll get the rp parts outta the way first and put the rest under read more.

TL;DR, other than the starters people have written for me that i’ve yet to reply to, i’m dropping all my threads. i just really need a fresh start right now, and given that i’m going into a Master’s degree that’s in the English department, i’m not sure how well i’m going to be able to keep up with my more plot-heavy threads. i hope people see this as an opportunity to throw new ideas at me, and i hope to interact with some of the people who’ve recently followed me, so i feel like starting anew is the best way to go about it. 

for those who’ve left me asks, i’ll do my best to work through them. i may have to delete some, especially if they’re in reference to things that happened while i was gone, so please don’t take it personally. i’m just trying to take things at my own pace and time. i hope you all understand.

now, onto where the fuck i’ve been this past month and a bit.

so, back in late July, i was faced with a situation i was hoping i wouldn’t have to deal with, but nonetheless had anticipated - in searching for a place to live in for the school year with friends, they all bailed out on me. all their reasons were valid, but it put a crazy amount of stress on me, because i was already dealing with trying to get myself a car and the insurance for it. so i poured all of my energy into finding a place before i’d be forced to settle on a room i’d hate. 

for two weeks, i had to travel between my home city and the city the university was in to do viewings, which typically was a full day sort of ordeal. not that i didn’t do so beforehand with my friends, but it was taxing and frankly costed me a decent amount of money, especially when a lot of the places i initially looked at were incredibly shitty. i am so fortunate that i found the place i’m in now - sure, the room’s small, but the place is newly renovated, the rent’s cheaper than everywhere else i looked at, my roommates are very nice people, and it’s close to the university. 

when i had that out of the way though, i still had to deal with getting a car. my mom had been flip-flopping for WEEKS about whether or not she wanted to give me hers or not, but finally she did, which honestly ended up saving me a lot of money. dealing with the insurance had been a fucking nightmare though, and it’s actually still ongoing, but it should be resolved by the end of this week. during that time though, my mom had done absolutely nothing to help my stress, because there was potential that i had to stay with my parents for longer than i wanted to, since the car was still needed to get my brother to work, as well as needed for my mom to travel around to find herself a new car. the situation ended up being way more ideal than what my mom had projected, but still, you can imagine how much that sucked for me.

now, during this time, i had the brilliant idea of getting back into the dating pool. i ended up downloading a few apps, and met a guy that i really hit it off with - we’d talk pretty regularly on Discord, and we even went on a few dates. he had so many similar interests with me, was insanely intelligent, and he treated me with so much respect. by the second in-person date, i’m not gonna lie, i was head over heels for him. we even talked about him visiting me every weekend once school started up again, which was way more effort than any of my exes had ever put into me. 

but then, just a few days before i’d officially move into my new place, he messaged me saying he wasn’t ready for a relationship. even though we weren’t official or anything of the sort, it devastated me. i understood his reasons though, and we agreed to stay friends. sometimes it still hurts to think about, but i’m slowly but surely getting over it. we’ve sent each other the occasional message since then, but nothing more than that. 

i’ve also deleted all those apps since then -  i’m not sure how long it’s going to be before i’m okay with opening myself up like that to another person.

it wasn’t all bad though. i went to a wedding with my best friend, and her entire friend group from her hometown has basically accepted me as one of them - they’ve even invited me to join them in their yearly cottage trip that they’re hoping to have next year. i also got to meet up with an old friend from high school - even though it had been literally 3 years since we last saw each other, it felt like no time had passed at all. i got to see some family members that i also hadn’t seen in years, and just yesterday, i helped a friend move into a new place.

overall, the past month and a bit has been one hell of a rollercoaster for me. i hope things will be relatively more manageable, especially when my mental health is in such a fragile state - i need some healing, and part of that includes coming back here and doing what i love most. interacting with you all.

if you’ve read through this all, thank you. i promise i’m doing much better now, and i hope to get back into the swing of things soon enough. <3

[halpertstuna]

Could you do 8 and 10 on the prompt list with JJ?

A/N: i’m so sorry it took me so long to answer, i’ve been pretty occupied lately and so i didn’t really have time to write and when i did it was for ‘someone to stay’, anyway, here it is i hope you’ll like it🥺

and PLEASE don’t hesitate to send me requests, questions, messages whatever you want. i would love to make friends and mutuals on this platform plus i love feedback and would really like to hear your opinions(:

also, this turned out way longer than i intended it to be, it was supposed to be a blurb but i guess i’m just gonna turn it into a whole ass imagine cause why not

-> prompt list <-

word count: 1,899 (oops... guess i got a bit carried away)

prompts: “i’m not jealous!”, “you’re hot when you’re mad”

pairing: jj x kook!reader

warnings: a pretty heated make out sesh, jealousy?, platonic Kie, Pope and John B. oh and typos probably.

btw, i was kinda in a rush to post this so please forgive me if it’s not that good, i’m too lazy to edit this again (and this is the first time i wrote something that’s kinda smutty? i mean this isn’t really smut but you get my point. don’t know how i feel about it), anyways, if you’ve made it this far in my insanely long intro congrats! enjoy <3

-> masterlist <-

(gif credit: @anakin-skywalker )

—

It’s been almost two years since you started attending the kook academy, almost two years since you became one of the pogues.

On your first day there you met a brown haired hippie chick named Kiara. The two of you had chemistry together and were paired by your teacher to be lab partners.

On your first encounter you didn’t really talk, and on the following couple of lessons it developed to only small talk and warm smiles if you saw each other in the hallway.

Kiara didn’t like kooks, even though technically she kind of was one.

Judging by the way you dressed and the people you surrounded yourself, she didn’t think you were really the type of person she’d get along with.

But when the two of you got assigned to do a project together, you instantly proved her wrong.

You met up with her at the wreck, the two of you talked about the project then yourselves and bonded almost immediately.

You revealed that you actually hated the people you usually associated with, thinking they were all fake, stuck up snobs with their heads way too far up their asses, and the only reason you hung out with them was your parents.

You turned out to be really reckless and funny which she wasn’t expecting at all, but she liked, it kind of reminded her of someone, her best friend, JJ.

She was quick to introduce you to the rest of the pogues and they welcomed you with open arms into their group. You instantly befriended them and vice versa.

Just as Kie suspected, you got along extra well with one particular blond.

The two of you had a lot in common; you were both hot headed and impulsive which often got you into trouble. You two were pretty competitive, always challenging one another.

You being so similar was the reason you got along so well, but it was also the reason you fought a lot, neither of you ever willing to admit you’re wrong or be the first one to apologize, but you couldn’t stay away from each other for too long. The sexual tension between you two could be cut with a knife.

Hungry glances, longing touches, needy desires that were transparent on both your faces.

Everyone on the island could see it but you. You were both so terribly oblivious.

You tried treating him like the rest of the pogues, you pushed your feelings for him to the back of your mind, thinking he was just being friendly, knowing he was a flirt, and for almost two years, it worked.

But seeing him flirt with Harleen tonight was literal torture.

Harleen was your neighbour and former best friend. A tall, tan brunette you hated with all of your heart.

The two of you have known each other since birth, you were practically inseparable, but as you grew up you noticed she always wanted what was yours, and she always did whatever it took in order to gain it. Whether it was the new shoes you got for your birthday which she bought herself the following day, or the guy you told her you liked in middle school the week prior to her dating him.

With time your friendship grew toxic and you felt like she was bad for you, constantly bringing you down and never caring.

So you decided to defriend her and ever since that moment you despised each other.

You were sat on a log beside Kie at a kegger, Pope next to her as they argued about god knows what. You tuned them out, far too focused on each and every one of JJ’s actions, watching as he whispered in her ear.

He probably said something funny since she started laughing, leaning forward and grasping his bicep for balance, which made your blood boil, you felt like history was repeating itself.

The grip on your red solo cup tightened, you stared and it seemed as if lasers were about to shoot out of your eyes and burn her pretty face off, but you diverted your gaze down to your hand, jumping up slightly when you felt a cool sticky liquid on your fingers, noticing you accidentally created a hole in your cup of beer with your milky white painted nails.

“Wow, what did the poor cup ever do to you?” Pope joked, his and Kie’s attention averted to you the second they heard a pop coming from your direction.

“Huh? Oh, well it didn’t tell me how pretty I look tonight, take that as warning sign” you trailed, trying not to look suspicious, “are you sure it isn’t because JJ told that to the girl beside him instead of you” she implied winking, causing Pope to cackle with laughter.

“What was that?” You asked rhetorically trying to act intimidating, “oh nothing” she gave you an innocent look.

“Anyways... i’m gonna go get a new drink” you swiftly stood up and started walking until you made out John B. from afar who was stood by the keg.

“Refill?” He questions once he spotted you making your way towards him.

You nodded “I accidentally poked mine” you admitted lifting the ripped cup in your hand and pursing your lips as you came to a stop beside him.

As he poured you a new cup of beer with the tap head connected to the keg by a tube, you searched the crowd with your eyes and focused your attention on JJ again.

You’ve seen him flirt with a countless amount of chicks before - kooks and torouns mainly, but none of those times pissed you off os much as seeing him flirt with Harleen did.

I mean he probably didn’t even like you back, so why where you so pissed? It wasn’t different from any other time, except that this was Harleen. She was a bitch. But he’d probably catch on quickly, right?

He placed his hands on her waist and you clenched your jaw at the sight grinding your teeth, you were irritated by the whole situation.

John B. noticed, a sly smile spreading slowly across his face.

“Hey, want some peanut butter with that jelly?” You turned to face him, a dumbfounded look on your face, “what are you talking about?” You raised an eyebrow at him.

“You’re obviously jealous”, he chuckled at the bewildered look on your face and you felt your cheeks heat up. “am not!” You denied huffing.

“Tell that to the vein popping out of your forehead” he teased.

You gasped and jabbed his chest playfully with your elbow, you mumbled a “shut up” then channeled your attention back to the two.

Her hands were rested on his chest, like that wasn’t enough already to send you off the edge. But when he pecked her cheek you lost it.

Abruptly you stormed off from where you were stood, John B. shouted from behind you “where are you going?“ but you ignored him.

When you approached JJ and Harleen you clutched onto his wrist dragging him away from her towards the chateau, ignoring both her and his protests. You led him inside then turned around to face him.

“Hey! What did you do that for? It was going really good for me! This better be an emergency” he sneered.

“Are you fucking serious? Out of all the people in the party you chose to hit on Harleen?” You scoffed.

“What’s the problem with that?” JJ was clueless, he knew nothing about your and Harleen’s rivalry. You never told any of the pogues, well except for Kie but she didn’t recognise her as the one flirting with JJ.

“The problem is Harleen hates my guts and the other way around. We used to be best friends but she became toxic, trying to take everything that I had and I’m not going down that road again JJ”

Your words confounded JJ, what did you care if she flirted with him? It wasn’t like he was yours, although he really wanted to be.

Does you caring about whether they end up together or not mean you wanted to be his too?

Then he noticed what emotion your eyes held, he’d never seen it before on your face, but he immediately recognised it.

“Wait.. are you jealous?” He questioned, the corners of his lips perking up into a smirk when he noticed the furious look on your face from his revolution.

“I’m not jealous! Would everyone please stop saying that?! I’m mad ok?!” You defend.

“Ok! Ok!” He surrendered lifting his hands up in the air “but just know, you’re hot when your mad”. Your mouth slightly agape as you weren’t able to form words to deny, far too transfixed under the fact he directly called you hot.

He started walking towards you slowly, you didn’t want to cave, to admit you have fallen for his charms, so you backed up until you felt your back gently hit the wall. Chest rising and falling quicker as your breathing started getting heavier and your heart beat faster.

The second his hand landed on your waist you felt a million butterflies erupt in your stomach, he tenderly stroked the exposed skin of your v line between your low cut shorts and crop top. You felt as if the skin under his finger was being set on fire.

He brought his other hand to rest beside your head on the wall, he leaned in, inches away from your face. His breath mingled with yours, fanning your lips, it smelled of cheap beer and weed.

He slowly moved to your ear and extolled in a low voice “I mean, really hot”, his warm breath sent shivers down your spine.

He left a sloppy, open mouthed kiss on the skin under your earlobe and you could’ve sworn you were seeing stars.

When he detached his lips you bit down on yours holding in a whimper at the loss of contact as he brought his face back to yours.

His blue orbs gazed into yours, they seemed darker than usual, lustful.

He waisted no more time and captured your lips with his. You didn’t hesitate to kiss him back.

You wrapped your hands around his neck and pulled on the edges of his hair deepening the kiss. As your tongues fought for dominance, he brought his other hand to your ass and squeezed it causing you to moan, he took the chance and slipped his tongue in.

you tugged on the hem of his shirt and he got the message. He separated his lips from yours and within less then a second, practically tore it of his body and discarded it on the floor. The two of you were panting at this point, completely out of air but you didn’t care. Breathless, you reattached your lips to his, desperate to taste him again.

You caressed his much bigger length with your petite hand, signalling you wanted more and he groaned into the kiss.

“Up” he demanded mumbling agains your lips. You jumped up and wrapped your legs around his waist, he grabbed your thighs and without breaking the kiss led you into the spare room.

Almost two years of yearning and craving dissolved in that night at the chateau, and to think it happened because of Harleen.

As much of a bitch as she was, you did owe her that.

[sassy-starker]

Five Times Stark Industries Employees Saw Peter Parker

(And One Time They All Found Out Who He Was)

Word count: 9128

CW: none

Notes: I promised @tony-is-my-daddy that I would tag them in my fluff fic and that was literally almost 2 weeks ago so I’m really, really sorry. I got caught up with finals and everything, but, I finally present to you, A Self-Indulgent Fic Where Peter and Tony Act Sappy And Confuse Employees

1.

Peter couldn’t focus.  His eyes were bleary and his mind was wandering.  His attention was completely taken up by the hollowness in his chest.  The workshop felt all too empty and quiet, but he knew that background noise wouldn’t help.  He needed someone there.  He needed people— hell, even just a person— to be with him.  His mind felt distant, yet all too aware at the same time and it was driving him insane.  He hated the winter.  He hated seasonal affective disorder.  He hated this.

In a rash decision, before his brain could even think, Peter pulled out his Stark Phone and tapped into messages.  He tapped on his most recent contact and began to type.

Peter: hey, do you think i could go down to the intern labs and just work down there?

Peter: like the ones with the individual workspaces?

Peter: i need to be around people

Tony: Of course! I should be done with my meeting at about 5 so then we can go binge shitty rom-coms and cuddle and eat Chinese food

Tony: Pepper saw me on my phone. Gotta go

Peter: <3

Tony: <3

Peter, now with confirmation, gathered up what he was working on in his backpack and shoved his phone in his pocket before getting up and moving to the elevator.

“Where to, Peter?” FRIDAY asked him.

“Fifty-fourth floor please.”

The elevator moved relatively quickly down the floors, and it wasn’t long until it dinged and the doors opened, revealing rows and rows of worktables with interns scattered around and working on individual projects.  Peter knew that they moved on and off the floor, depending on whether they were working in groups with their department or solo.

People looked over to the unknown young man while he set his stuff down on a table.  He paid no mind, feeling comforted by having people around.  He always felt nice when he knew that he wasn’t all alone, that the world was still there and time was still moving on.  Just as he sat down, though, a lab director from some floor below them walked right up to the desk.

“I’m sorry. I don’t think you’re allowed to be here,” he said in a sickly sweet, obviously fake voice.

“Excuse me?” Peter asked politely, looking up to the man.

“This space is for interns and employees. You don’t appear to be either,” the man elaborated.

“No, I’m allowed to be here,” Peter shot back simply before looking away from the man and reaching for his bag to pull out his project materials.

“Who do you think you are?” the lab director interrogated. “I’ll get you kicked out of this building!”

“I’m Peter-” the young adult started, but was cut off by FRIDAY interrupting.

“No last names, Peter,” the AI warned. “We don’t want anything to happen to you.  I can assure that Peter is allowed to be here.”

Peter simply looked up and gave a shrug to the lab director before continuing to pull out the materials from his bag.  The man looked up to the ceiling fearfully before retreating back to his own workspace.

That was the first time they saw Peter.

2.

The next time Stark Industries employees saw Peter could only be described as chaotic.

The door to the stairs opened and somebody rushed out, weaving their way around people and workstations with practiced ease, all while laughing so hard that there were tears falling from their eyes.

Upon closer inspection, the employees realized that it was, in fact, the mysterious young man from only a week earlier.

Moments after Peter rushed in, the elevator dinged and the doors opened, and out ran the Tony Stark, covered in red and blue glitter. Not to mention that he looked furious, but not the type of furious where he was genuinely angry. It was more like that fond kind of furious, where you’re annoyed and upset, but can’t help but find the situation a bit funny and the person responsible is somebody you care about.

Tony ran out of the elevator, also weaving around his employees and their projects, obviously chasing the young man. By that point, though, the young man was laughing so hard that he had slowed down considerably. Thanks to that fact, Tony caught up and tackled him to the ground. All the employees were frozen in shock and just watching as their boss stood up and rubbed glitter off his skin to get it onto the man he was now standing above.

“No!” shouted the younger, getting up from his spot on the floor and giving the engineer a light shove. Both of them were still smiling and laughing about it though. “This is gonna take forever to wash off!”

“How do you think I feel?” Tony retorted, sprinkling some glitter into the other man’s curly hair. Once again, the younger man gave him a light push.

That’s when the two of them became acutely aware of the attention they had garnered.

“Sorry for disrupting your work,” Peter apologized to the crowd of employees sheepishly.

“We’ll send somebody to clean up the mess we made,” Tony told them, eyeing the trail of glitter he had left on the floor, “but get back to work.”

Hesitantly, they all began to go back to their workstations, but kept their eyes on the two men as they talked quietly and walked back to the elevator. Nobody said a word until the elevator doors had closed, obscuring their view of their boss and the mysterious man.

“Who the fuck is that kid?” Ashley questioned, turning to the coworkers she was in an experimenting group with.

“I have no idea,” Dylan answered, slowly tearing his eyes away from the elevator doors.

“He’s definitely a weird one,” Jenna piped up decisively. “I mean, have you ever even seen a picture of Tony Stark smiling that fondly?”

“And he talked back to him!” Dylan added on. “Like, holy shit, that kid shoved him and Stark only laughed!”

“I’ve seen a lot of strange things while working here,” Ashley told them, sparing a glance at the elevator, “but this is definitely one of the strangest.”

3.

“Please?” Peter begged.

“No,” Tony answered for what felt like the hundredth time. “Gossip spreads across the building quickly and basically every employee is already trying to figure out who you are! I don’t want them finding out and leaking it to the press!”

“But they already know, so what does it matter? It’s not like the rumors will go away if they just don’t see me again!” Peter argued, jumping up from where he was seated in order to stand in front of his boyfriend.

“The rumors will die down if they don’t see you again. They’ll eventually move onto talking about something else,” Tony replied, grabbing Peter’s hand and pulling him close. Peter embraced the man and the two just stood there for a few moments.

“I just want you to be safe,” Tony told him quietly.

“I’ll be fine,” Peter responded, pulling away but still holding onto his boyfriend’s hands. “All your employees sign NDA’s, so even if they did leak something to the press, which I doubt they would, legal would be on their ass and sue them for all they’re worth.”

Tony sighed, realizing that Peter had a good argument that he just couldn’t counter.

“Fine. You can come help me with the presentation.”

Peter pumped his fist in the air and let out a whoop in victory, causing Tony to roll his eyes fondly.

+++

When the employees working in R&D walked into the small auditorium on the 16th floor, they knew Tony Stark was going to be there, but they didn’t expect the infamous mystery man to be there.  On the stage, Peter was talking animatedly about something or other while Tony just listened, a fond smile on his face and his eyes sparkling.

The crowd walked in hesitantly, everybody’s eyes on the two men up front, who still hadn’t acknowledged them.  When everyone was seated and the clock struck the exact time the presentation was supposed to start, the two finally turned to them to get started.

“Hello, R&D department! I hope you’re all doing well!” Tony greeted with his press smile on. “You all know who I am, but I have somebody else here with me today.”

“What’s up? I’m Peter,” the younger man introduced himself, hitting the woah as he said his name.

“Did you just-” Tony started with a sigh before cutting himself off. “You and your fucking tiktok dances.”

“You say that as if you didn’t ask me to teach you the Renegade last week!”

“That was different! That was for the Stark Industries tiktok! I need to be relatable so I stay relevant!” Tony defended.

“And yet you still won’t let me teach you the dance to ‘Say So’ even though it’s iconic!” Peter shot back.

“You and I have different ideas of what counts as iconic,” Tony said dryly before turning back to the crowd of employees. 

“Anyway, today Peter and I will be telling you all about the new prosthetics line that your department will begin developing!”

Despite the importance of the presentation, the employees were only half listening as they were more focused on whispering about the mystery boy.

“Okay but what the actual fuck happened at the beginning of this?” Jenna asked quietly as she leaned over to her coworker on the right of her.

“No fucking clue. I can't believe this dude is just casually talking and joking around with Tony fucking Stark!” Dylan whispered in reply, not taking his eyes off the stage.

“And apparently he taught Stark how to do the Renegade. That’s fucking insane,” Ashley added from Jenna’s left.

The three turned their attention back to the two men on stage, finally listening to what they were saying again.

“Street smarts!” the younger man exclaimed, jumping in about something they were saying before.

“Stay alert out there,” both Peter and Tony quoted with large smiles. As if nothing happened, they jumped right back into the presentation.

“This is the weirdest fucking thing in the world,” Dylan declared quietly.

“I second that,” Ashley muttered.

“I third that,” Jenna added on without taking her eyes off the stage.

The presentation went on a bit longer, but it didn’t drag on.  It helped that the entire time the two men were joking around and making the employees progressively more and more confused.

Peter and Tony wrapped up the presentation soon enough and the R&D employees began to file out, most of them keeping their eyes on the two men talking quietly on stage.  Jenna, Ashley, and Dylan walked out together, some of the last to exit the auditorium, and the three made it to the elevator before Jenna realized she left her jacket behind.  She told her friends that she would catch up to them and way back to the now empty seats.  Not paying attention to the world around her, she looked for where she had sat and made her way through the row until she reached her seat and found her cardigan.

“See, I told you it would be okay,” said a voice from the stage.  Jenna turned around and saw Peter talking to Tony, the men standing close together.

“You know I just get worried,” the billionaire replied, his voice more sincere than Jenna could’ve ever imagined. “I just want to make sure you’re okay.”

“I can take care of myself, Tones. You don’t need to worry so much.”

Jenna felt like she was intruding on a private moment, so she started to make her way out of the rows of seats and back to the door as quickly and quietly as possible.

“Just because I don’t need to worry doesn’t mean I won’t. I care so much about you, Peter. You know I love you.”

Jenna froze in place, right at the end of the row of seats and about to step into the main aisle that led to the doors.  Against her better judgment, she found herself staring up at the two men on the stage, her gaze stuck on them.  She just couldn’t look away.

Peter and Tony were basically right up against each other.  They only were a couple inches apart with both their hands intertwined.  She couldn’t see it earlier, but, now that they were right next to each other, Jenna could tell that Peter was about half a foot shorter than Tony.  The younger man was looking up at the billionaire with a bright smile that was returned.  It was like nothing she could’ve ever imagined; a ball of sunshine and pop culture references right next to a man known to be scuffed up and rough around the edges.  It was like this boy brought out a completely different side of Stark.

“I love you too,” Peter replied softly before leaning up on the balls of his feet to give Tony a soft kiss on the lips.

Jenna, sucked in a breath of air harshly, the sound being enough to alert the men to her presence.  The two men stared at her with wide eyes for a moment and she stared right back.

“Shit.” Tony broke the silence of the room, his voice conveying the concern written across his face.  Peter put a hand on his forearm and schooled his features into a comforting look.  The man looked over at him and tried to take solace in his lover’s gentleness.

“I told you something was gonna go wrong,” the billionaire said with a mix of concern and fear on his face.

“We’re not getting into this argument again,” Peter responded decidedly, his tone making it sound final.

“I- I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I was walking in on anything. I just came in because I forgot my jacket! I . . . please don’t fire me, Mister Stark,” Jenna stammered once she had broken out of her shocked stupor.

“He’s not going to fire you,” Peter reassured her with a kind tone.

“Well . . .” Tony said, but his tone was a bit humorous.

“You’re not gonna fire her because we decided we couldn’t wait until we got back to the penthouse to be all sappy.” Peter gave the man a stern look and it occurred to Jenna once again that this soft, delicate-appearing brunet clad in pastels had somehow reined in the man who had spent so many years being known as a playboy.

“I’m not going to fire you, but you can’t tell anybody, not even anyone within the company. If you do, my legal team can and will sue you for all you’re worth. Understood?” Tony had a dangerous edge to his voice, letting the girl know that he was completely serious. There was no way that this was an empty threat.

“Understood,” Jenna replied with a curt nod. “But I just have one question.”

“Shoot,” Peter told her.

“How old are you? Because . . . well, you look pretty young.”

Tony started laughing and Peter gave him an annoyed look.

“Stop laughing! You do this every time!” Peter exclaimed, lightly slapping his arm.

“Everybody thinks you’re, like, sixteen! You look barely old enough to have your license!” Tony shot back, his laughter dying down.

“I’m twenty-one,” he told Jenna. “I’m not underage, if you were wondering. Tony may be a bit of a mad scientist, but he doesn’t date people who are underage.”

“Okay, good. I was just worried for a second. Um, thank you for not firing me and I swear I won’t tell anybody. I should get going,” she rushed out with a relieved smile.  Without another word, she made her way out of the auditorium, holding her jacket close to her chest.

When she got back to her floor, Dylan and Ashley bombarded her with questions about what took her so long, but she just told them that it took her a second to find it.  Of course, they weren’t satisfied with that answer, but Jenna didn’t let anything slip.

That was the third time Stark Industries employees saw Peter.

4.

When Jenna walked into work the next morning, early as always, she found an envelope sitting on her designated area of her group desk, which separated into four sections for her project team to sit at. Across the front, it had her first name written out in a neat, cursive scrawl. She furrowed her brows as she looked at it, questions racing through her mind as she wondered who it could’ve been from.

Without another thought, she ripped it open and pulled out the contents. She unfolded the paper that was inside only to find a letter written in the same handwriting.

Dear Jenna,

I wanted to write you a letter, but realized that I never caught your name yesterday. I hope you don’t mind, but I asked FRIDAY who you were. Thinking back on it, that definitely makes me sound like a creep, so I apologize.

I wanted to thank you for not completely flipping out on Tony and I in the auditorium yesterday. I know that the whole thing was definitely crazy and it would’ve made sense if you freaked out. I also wanted to thank you for not immediately telling anybody. Seeing as no news stories have come out and nobody in the building has confronted Tony, I’m assuming you didn’t leak it, which is relieving.

I hope you’re doing well and if you need literally anything, just drop off a letter in the company mailroom in box 106.

As a thank you, there’s a Starbucks gift card also in the envelope! I wasn’t sure if you liked coffee, but seeing as you work in R&D and most of the employees in that department survive off coffee, I’m going to assume you do. Enjoy!

I’ll (hopefully) talk to you soon!

-Peter

P.S. Tony might not say it, but he’s also grateful that you haven’t leaked anything! I can promise that you’re good in his books :)

“What’s that?” Ashley asked, sneaking up behind Jenna and startling the woman.

“It’s nothing,” Jenna replied quickly while shoving the letter back into the envelope and cramming it into her bag. Ashley gave her a suspicious look but let it go, sitting down at her area of the group desk that was beside Jenna’s.

“I have a prediction!” Dylan announced as he entered the almost empty floor and waltzed over to Jenna and Ashley. He collapsed onto his stool and dumped his bag onto the floor beside him.

“This should be good,” Ashley muttered sarcastically, crossing her arms.

Jenna just looked away.

“So, we’ve established that it’s strange that nobody has ever heard of Peter and how, out of nowhere, he shows up!”

“Yeah, that’s kinda why we all think it’s weird,” Jenna shot at him, hoping that it covered up her panic.

“It’s also odd that he’s got a bit of a resemblance to Stark,” Dylan continued, decidedly ignoring her.

“I don’t see it,” Jenna interrupted once more, but the man didn’t stop.

“Maybe, just maybe, Peter is Stark’s son who he didn’t want in the spotlight until he was old enough to handle it!”

Ashley gasped while Jenna glanced away from them with a look of both panic and amusement. 

“Or Peter is Stark’s illegitimate child and he doesn’t want to have a scandal!” Ashley built on the theory with an excited smile and wide eyes.

“What do you think, Jenna?” Dylan asked, and both of Jenna’s teammates had their eyes on her.

“I think you two are full of bullshit,” Jenna told them, trying hard to keep her voice steady. “He’s probably just Stark’s intern. Maybe he’s a super genius or something.”

“Bor-ring!” Ashley replied with a roll of her eyes.

“Yeah, our theory is way better,” Dylan bragged, a bit of humor in his tone.

Jenna stayed oddly quiet for the rest of the morning.

+++

When lunch rolled around, Dylan and Ashley went off to the food court floor of the building, but Jenna decided that she wanted to make use of the Starbucks gift card she’d been given. When she opened the envelope back up to get it, she discovered that it was a two-hundred dollar gift card, which left her in shock for a few moments. Still, she shook herself out of it and went to go get a sandwich and a coffee.

After lunch, she found herself back with her teammates, working on their project, but sipping on a venti white chocolate mocha this time around. Around half an hour after they’d come back from lunch, the elevator doors opened to reveal Peter, wearing a sunny yellow sweater that matched the smile on his face. He walked out of the elevator and seemingly ignored all the eyes on him. He made his way over to a table working on prosthetics and began to help them out, the team there looking a bit surprised but extremely grateful for the assistance.

When Peter looked up and spotted Jenna, he gave her an even brighter smile, which she returned. She shook the coffee cup in her hand a little, bringing his attention to it, and he gave a silent chuckle. Jenna took a sip of her mocha and turned back to her project.

“What the fuck was that?” Ashley asked, drawing both of her teammates away from where they were designing arm prosthetics.

“What?” Dylan and Jenna replied in unison.

“That little interaction you just had with Peter,” the blonde woman elaborated, looking at Jenna accusingly.

“What interaction?” the man piped up before the brunette could respond.

“She and Peter made eye contact and smiled at each other and then Jenna held up her coffee cup and Peter chuckled!”

Dylan gave Ashley an incredulous look before shifting his gaze to Jenna.

“It was nothing,” Jenna defended with a level voice before getting back to work.

“Does this have something to do with the letter from this morning?”

“What letter?” Jenna and Dylan asked in unison.

Ashley sighed. “Jenna, come on, just tell me what’s going on? Is there something you know that we don’t?”

Before the brunette could even respond, Peter passed by their table.

“Hey, Jenna!” the young man greeted cheerily.

“Hey, Peter,” she responded, a smile on her face.

When he was gone, she went right back to her work, ignoring the looks from her teammates.

Jenna knew it was going to be a long rest of her day.

That was the fourth time Stark Industries employees saw Peter.

5.

By the next Friday, the questions from Dylan and Ashley had died down, but the suspicious glances were definitively not stopping, nor becoming anymore secretive. Luckily, though, Jenna was becoming better and better at ignoring the looks from her coworkers.

There were no more appearances from Peter, but Jenna had been enjoying exchanging letters with the brunet. The letters would sometimes be accompanied by pictures, mostly of Peter and Tony, and the woman had fun printing dumb pictures of her own and sending them back. The two would share funny stories and talk about themselves, though Peter still never shared his last name, but the brunette didn’t blame him for that; she knew he wanted to continue to keep himself on the down low. Tony would sometimes put in a few sentences on a letter, mostly a short quip about something his boyfriend wrote, and Jenna couldn’t help but find her boss’s dry wit rather humorous.

As the weekend approached once more, Jenna found herself feeling glad to get away from her teammates’ conspicuous looks and probing questions. When it reached midday, she was beyond happy to escape to the food court, rushing in order to get ahead of Ashley and Dylan. 

When she walked into the food court, she knew there was something going on. The chatter of the floor was quieter than normal, despite the normal amount of people being there. It was less conversation and more pointed whispers. When she followed where everybody’s eyes were looking, she discovered Peter sitting at one of the round tables on his own.

The young man had a couple slices of pizza on a plate in front of him, with one slice in his hand. He had wireless earbuds in and his phone was propped up using a pop socket attached to the back. It was obvious that he was watching some show or another.

Jenna simply shrugged and went to grab her own food, paying no mind to the whispered gossip spreading across the floor. She got a container of Chinese food from one of the stations and looked around to find a place to sit before realizing that she didn’t know where to go. She usually sat with her teammates, but she had been trying to escape them until she had to get back to work, which left her with nobody to eat lunch with.

In a strange and unusual burst of confidence, Jenna walked across the floor and toward Peter’s table, decidedly brushing off the eyes that followed her. She put her food down and sat in the chair across from her boss’s boyfriend, attempting to act casual as the quiet chatter toned down in order to hear what happened next.

Peter looked up when she sat down, seemingly confused that somebody was joining him at his table. When he saw that it was Jenna, however, he cracked a bright smile. He took out his earbuds and put them back into the carrying case before shutting off his phone and setting it face down on the table.

“Hey, Jenna!” His tone was bubbly, an air of familiarity to it. Just hearing him talk made Jenna feel calmer; the boy had a way of doing that.

“Hey, Peter,” she greeted back, less excitedly but still conveying that she was happy to see him again. “What’s up?”

“Not much! Tony’s in a meeting and I decided to come down here for lunch. I didn’t like how quiet it was.”

“I think you mentioned that once. That you don’t like being alone in spaces, I mean.” Jenna paid attention to every word in every letter she received from the young man. She felt like she connected to him in a way that she’d never connected to anybody before; it wasn’t like any friendship she had in the past.

“Yeah. It just feels nice to know that the world is still turning and I’m not completely alone.” He looked sad for a moment, eyes glazed over and distant. It was a somber kind of happiness, a mix of emotions that weren’t supposed to be mixed in case of an explosion, but not a loud one; it was more of a combustion, internal and quiet, soft and powerful. “But, anyways, what’ve you been up to?”

“Not much,” Jenna replied, trying to move on from the delicate moment. “Been working on the prototype for the prosthetics and I think it’s going well. There’s a few bits and pieces that me and my teammates have gotta work out before we send the design to our lab director, but I think we’ll get there soon.”

“That’s really cool! I honestly can’t wait for the prosthetics line to go into production! I think it's really gonna change the game since it’s gonna be a high tech line but also more affordable than the competitors!” Peter’s eyes were shining, the gleam replacing the far off look from only moments earlier.

“I’m excited for it too!” Jenna admitted. “I know it’s gonna help so many people and I can’t wait for it to go on the market!”

Peter opened his mouth to respond, but his phone buzzed before he could speak. He picked it up and read the notification, giving a small chuckle and typing out a response before looking up at Jenna.

“Was that . . .?” Jenna trailed off, unsure of how to finish the sentence but sure that the brunet caught her drift.

“Yeah,” Peter responded easily with a fond, but exasperated, look. “He finished his meeting and asked if I saved him some food from my lunch. I did, but I’m tempted to eat it myself and tell him to go get his own food.”

Jenna snorted.

“I’m not that mean, though, so I’m gonna take him the last two slices.” He slid his phone into his back pocket and his earbuds case into his front one before standing up and grabbing the plate with the two slices of pizza.

“I’ll see you later, Jenna!” he called as he walked away, heading towards the private elevator.

“See you, Peter!” With that, the woman went back to eating her lunch, as if nothing had happened at all.

When two people sat down at the table, Jenna looked up at them, only to find her two teammates, who had bewildered and suspicious looks on their faces. Dylan’s brow was furrowed and Ashley’s eyes were narrowed, the blonde obviously more dubious than him.

“What the actual fuck, Jenna?” she asked, voicing everybody’s thoughts.

“What?” the brunette replied as if she didn’t know.

“Don’t act all innocent! How are you so friendly with him?! This shit doesn’t add up!” Dylan nodded along to Ashley’s words. 

Jenna gave an exasperated sigh.

“Sorry, but that’s confidential information. NDA’s and all that, ya know?” She was trying everything she could to weasel her way out of it, but it was the first time she’d given her teammates a semi-straight answer, even if it wasn’t that revealing.

“Oh, come on, Jenna!” Dylan finally spoke up. “It can’t be anything that serious! Just tell us what’s going on?”

“I’m afraid that Ms. Locke is right, Mr. Hoffman. This is confidential information that Ms. Locke does not have the authority nor the necessity to reveal to you,” FRIDAY interrupted, garnering the attention of the people watching.

Jenna only shrugged under the intense gazes of her coworkers, but it still shut them up about it.

That was the fifth time Stark Industries employees saw Peter.

+1

It was relatively quiet for the next few weeks after the food court incident. While the suspicious glances remained, the questions had died down, though whispers still followed Jenna around as her coworkers spread rumors about how she knew Peter.

Speaking of the brunet, he hadn’t shown up since the incident, but he and Jenna had continued to exchange letters, becoming closer friends as time went on. The next time news about Peter came, it was only news for Jenna, as nobody else had any clue of how the young man was involved.

It had happened when Tony Stark had come to the R&D floor to talk to the employees there about the progress on the prosthetics line. Everybody had been trying extra hard to look busy as the man went around, all of them hoping to seem like they were valuable employees who actually did work.

Jenna’s team was the last that the billionaire came to, but as soon as he started talking to them, the brunette noticed something.

He had an engagement ring on.

The woman mentioned nothing, though she did freeze for a moment when she noticed it. Still, she pushed through and continued with the discussion about the progress they had been making.

When her boss later stepped away to answer a text, she quickly told her coworkers she had to use the restroom, rushing away and going down the hallway that Tony had gone down, which happened to lead to the bathrooms.

When she got there, she found him smiling down at his phone and typing quickly.

“Did you guys get . . .?” Jenna started, but trailed off at the end, startling the man a bit. He looked up at her, eyes a bit wide, but immediately recognized her. He looked confused at the question for a moment before realizing that her eyes were on his ring.

“Yeah, we did,” Tony answered, looking a bit sheepish as a blush painted his cheeks.

“How did it happen?” It was obvious that the girl was excited to find out.

“It’s actually pretty funny. I got down on one knee to propose and he looked so exasperated and I freaked out because I thought he was gonna break up with me or something. Instead, he reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring box. He was planning on proposing that night too.”

“That’s absolutely incredible!” Jenna told him excitedly, but still kept her voice quiet.

“When we told our friends, they all looked so unsurprised that something like that would happen for him and I.”

The two both laughed before the billionaire’s phone buzzed again.

“I’ve got a meeting in, like, five minutes, so I should probably go.”

The two said their goodbyes and he started to walk back out to the main area to head to the private elevator, but stopped and turned around before he could.

“Just do you know, you’re invited to the wedding.”

Without another word, he walked away, leaving Jenna standing there in shock. A million thoughts were racing through her head and her eyes were still trained on the end of the hallway where the man had disappeared from.

“I’m invited to the wedding,” she whispered to herself. Taking a moment, she shook herself out of it and began walking back to her team’s table to get back to work.

Before she could get there, though, Ashley rushed at her and grabbed her arm, pulling her back the way she came. The blonde pulled her into the women’s restroom and checked every stall to make sure they were empty before turning back to her coworker.

“What the fuck it this?!” She held up a letter and  Jenna immediately knew who it was from. She snatched it from her co worker's hand and skimmed through it, praying to Thor that it wasn’t one of the letters that explicitly mentioned Peter dating Tony. She then proceeded to thank Thor when she realized that it was one one of the notes that mentioned a relationship, but not outright who it was with.

“Okay, Peter and I have been talking through letters. So what?” she replied, attempting to keep her voice steady so it sounded like she wasn’t fazed by the whole thing.

“Are you fucking with me?! You’re friends with this mysterious dude who’s all buddy-buddy with Tony fucking Stark and you’re expecting me to just let that go?! You’re out of your mind!” Ashley was obviously worked up about the whole thing and the brunette didn’t know what to say, but, luckily, her coworker started talking again before she could get a word out.

“You’ve been so secretive these past couple months and it’s been annoying as all hell! You’re not telling me anything and it feels like I’m so disconnected from you! Just tell me what’s going on!”

“I can’t! I can’t tell you what’s going on! I’m sorry that I don’t wanna lose my fucking job just so you can know every aspect of my life! Just let it go and leave me and my letters alone!” Jenna blew up, which was something she didn’t do very often.

Unsurprisingly, Ashley looked taken aback, shock written across her face. Jenna immediately regretted it.

“I’m sorry,” she told her friend softly. “I just can’t tell you.”

Jenna turned around and left the bathroom, the letter in her grasp. As soon as she was out, she went to her lab director and asked if she could leave a little early, giving the excuse of feeling sick. Of course, her lab director was understanding as always and let her go. She quickly gathered her stuff, ignoring the looks from Ashley and Dylan, and hightailed it out of there.

+++

“Dylan!” the R&D lab director, Kelsey, called from her office.

The man shot up from his team’s table, where the silence was as dense as molasses and the tension was so thick that you could cut it with a knife.

“Yes?” Dylan asked as he made his way over and placed himself in the open doorway. The director stood up and handed him a couple files.

“I have to go to a meeting, but these files need to be turned in. Could you take them up to the boss’s office for me?”

“You- you want me to take these to Mr. Stark?” His voice was a bit shaky.

“It’s not that big of a deal. You go to floor 89, you find the office with his name on it, you knock on the door, you tell him that I sent you, you give him the files, and you leave. I promise it’s not as stressful as you think it is.” Kelsey’s tone was comforting, but it did little to ease his anxieties.

“Okay,” he muttered, turning around and heading towards the elevator.

When the doors opened and Dylan stepped in, he found himself alone in the elevator. The silence was filled up by his anxious thoughts about what could go wrong. He spent the entire ride up trying to take deep breaths and remember that it was a simple job; just go in, give him the files, and leave.

The elevator stopped and he stepped off onto the eerily quiet office floor. It seemed that nobody was there and it freaked him out; it felt like a horror movie. He crept along the halls until he made it to a door with his boss’s name on it. He raised his hand to knock until he heard voices coming from inside.

“I don’t get why it’s such a big deal.” That was Tony Stark’s voice, and Dylan recognized it immediately.

“It just is!” A voice replied. It took Dylan all of three seconds to realize that it was the mysterious Peter who seemed to show up at the most random of times.

Against his better judgment, Dylan peered through the semi-open blinds that covered the windows of the office. When he did so, he found Peter sitting on the edge of the desk and Tony a couple feet in front of him.

“It doesn’t seem like that hard of a decision. If you don’t like this guy, don’t invite him to the wedding! It’s so simple!” The billionaire looked confused at the dilemma at hand, though Dylan had no clue what they were talking about. He was getting married?

“But it’s not! I don’t want to invite him, but it would be rude if I didn’t!” Peter looked worked up about the whole thing, face slightly flushed and fiddling with his hands.

“It might be rude, but if you don’t want him there, then don’t invite him!”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Except that it is.”

“Maybe for you!” It wasn’t a yell, but it wasn’t quiet. Peter had stopped fiddling with his fingers and was now pulling slightly at his hair.

“What do you mean?” Tony spoke like he could accidentally shatter the young man in front of him if he wasn’t careful.

“I mean that you’re Tony Stark. You’re a famous billionaire that can do whatever you want. If you don’t want to invite somebody, you don’t invite them. You don’t care if it’s rude because you’re Tony fucking Stark and you can do anything you’d like. I’m not like that, I can’t just do whatever I want. I’m Peter Parker, an average guy from Queens, and I’ve always been just that. If I’m rude, there’s consequences and it can actually affect my life. I have to think things like this over, even if you see it as trivial.”

Tony paused for a moment, letting the words sink in.

“Except you’re not just some average guy. You’re Peter fucking Parker. You’re incredible. You’re gonna change the entire world. Maybe I don’t get these kinds of things because I was raised in such a different world than you, but all I want is for you to be happy. Whatever choice you make here, I’ll be fine with, but that isn’t what I care about. I care about you, because you’re the most amazing person on this planet. You’re Peter Parker, the man I fell in love with.”

Dylan’s jaw dropped as he finally found the closure he’d been seeking for months. He knew what Peter’s last name was, he knew what relationship he had to Tony Stark, he knew who Peter was. He had never expected this, though. He cringed as his mind went back to that theory he had about Peter being Tony’s son.

He watched as the two shared a short kiss and finally moved back in front of the door, feeling the need to give his boss the files, run back down to his floor, and tell his teammates everything.

Dylan knocked on the door and he could almost feel the two men inside freeze in shock. It only took a second before the door opened, though, and revealed Peter Parker standing there with Tony Stark slightly behind him, both of them looking worried.

“Uh, I’m from R&D and my lab director, Kelsey, asked me to deliver these files,” Dylan stuttered out, failing at his attempt to remain casual.

“Oh, uh, yeah, yeah, thanks,” Peter replied, seemingly relieved as he took the files.

“I, um, bye, I guess,” Dylan stammered before turning around and booking it out of there. He could feel the two men’s eyes on him as he left.

When Dylan got to the elevator, he pressed on the button a few times, praying for it to arrive faster, and jumped on the moment the doors had opened wide enough to get through. He then adamantly pressed the button for the R&D floor. The elevator ride down felt much longer than the one up.

When Dylan did get to his floor, he raced through the doors and to his teammates, grabbing each of them by the upper arm and dragging them into the men’s restroom. He checked every stall to make sure they were alone before locking the bathroom door and turning back to his teammates.

“You guys aren’t gonna believe this!” Dylan announced. “I found out some crazy shit!”

“Why am I here?” Jenna asked him in a deadpan voice. “Can I leave?”

“Jenna, you’ll actually wanna hear this! I found out who Peter is!”

Ashley and Jenna both froze, but for different reasons.

“You gotta tell us!” Ashley exclaimed excitedly.

“No, you better fucking not!” Jenna said over her.

“What?! Why?!” Dylan looked genuinely confused.

“Because we’re not supposed to know! It’s obvious he wants to keep his identity a secret! You can’t go around telling people! You need to tell him and Stark that you know so they can feel sure that his identity won’t get leaked!”

“God, you’re such a buzzkill, Jenna,” Ashley shot at her.

“No, I’m a good person.”

It made her teammates go silent, the words piercing through them like knives.

“If you wanna go and tell and lose your job, then go ahead, but I want no part of it.” Jenna turned around and started to leave.

“Do you know?” Dylan asked her, making the woman stop in her tracks.

“What?” Jenna slowly turned back to him.

“Do you know?” he repeated, voice cold and serious.

Jenna stayed silent for a few moments, mulling over what she could say.

“Not on purpose . . .”

“And you didn’t tell us?” Ashley questioned, betrayal written across her face.

“Sorry I respect their privacy!” It was obvious that she was very much not sorry.

“Wait . . . did you find out when you went back to get your jacket after the presentation?!” Dylan exclaimed, looking like he had put all the puzzle pieces together. When Jenna stayed quiet, he knew that he had gotten his answer. “Holy shit! What happened?! Did you, like, see them kiss or some shit?!”

“Kiss?!” Ashley shouted.

“Jesus Christ,” Jenna muttered, putting her head in her hands.

“No fucking way! They’re in a relationship?!”

“Yeah!”

“That’s it,” Jenna declared decisively and turned around.

“Where are you going?” Ashley asked her, bewilderment shining in her eyes.

“I’m going to go tell them that Dylan figured it out and that you know,” Jenna told the blonde, voice laced with venom.

Jenna unlocked the door and left, not letting her teammates get another word in, but the two followed her out and watched as she stormed past all her coworkers and to the elevator, disappearing as soon as the doors opened.

“I might lose my job,” Dylan muttered, eyes wide and trained on the now closed elevator doors.

“Is it true?” one of the other employees, Amelia, asked as she walked up to Dylan and Ashley.

“Is what true?” Ashley replied.

“That Peter and Stark are in a relationship? You guys were implying it in there, and you aren’t exactly good at being quiet.”

“I’m definitely gonna lose my job,” Dylan whispered, correcting his earlier statement.

“So it is true!” Eric, another employee, shouted.

Everybody started talking, the floor turning into a storm of chattering.

“We’re so fucked. We’re absolutely, completely, utterly fucked,” Ashley murmured, only loud enough so Dylan could hear, and the man only nodded in agreement.

The two slowly walked forwards, looking around at their gossiping coworkers as they made their way back to their desk. They looked completely horrified, and guilt was quickly eating away at Dylan.

Before they could sit down, the elevator doors opened and Jenna walked out with Tony and Peter in tow. Everybody stopped, staring at the three of them. Peter looked nervous and tears were glistening in his eyes, but Tony just looked furious, his expression mirroring Jenna’s.

“Okay, which of you knows?” Tony asked the room, his voice deadly calm. He didn’t yell or scream, but that steady tone was almost worse than him blowing up at them.

One employee raised their hand, and everybody else followed, the last people to put their hands up being Ashley and Dylan.

“All of you, go to the auditorium. Now. All the other employees will meet you there. Do not say a word of this to them before I get there to talk to them about it. Do I make myself clear?” 

If looks could kill, all of the R&D employees, minus Jenna, would be dead. All of them mumbled their confirmations or nodded and slowly shuffled off to the elevators, heading to the auditorium floor.

Ashley and Dylan had fallen into the back of the crowd and were the last to get onto an elevator, meaning they could see the floor before the door closed. The two watched as Tony turned back to Peter and Jenna, who were looking regretful and heartbroken respectfully. The last thing they saw before the elevator started moving was Peter beginning to cry and burying his face in Tony’s shoulder as the man embraced him and Jenna putting a comforting hand on his back.

By the time the R&D employees reached the auditorium and began to make their way into the seats, other employees were either already there or just getting there. There was chatter, a mix of people confused why they had been called there and those who knew praying that they wouldn’t be fired. The chatter seemed to die down a bit as everybody was seated, all of them waiting in anticipation for whatever was going to happen.

After a few minutes, the doors of one of the entrances to the auditorium, which had been closed, slammed open. Everybody turned, though plenty of them couldn’t see the doors, and watched as Tony Stark stormed down the aisle towards the stage, Jenna Locke behind him and looking slightly less, but still plenty, furious. The two made their way up the three stairs that led up to the stage.

All the employees gazed up at the two standing center stage, and they were glaring back at them with serious faces. After a moment of silence, Tony finally spoke.

“I’m sure the majority of you are wondering why I called everybody to the auditorium. Today, somebody found out something that they shouldn’t have about my private life and, instead of coming and talking to me about it in order to keep it confidential, they went and told somebody, and those people’s department overheard. That person who found out and told will be fired and the person who was first told and was complicit in revealing information about my life will be put on probation.”

In the back of the auditorium, Dylan and Ashley sank down in their seats.

“You may also be wondering why I have one of your coworkers up here with me today. If you weren’t already aware, this is Jenna Locke.”

Jenna gave the audience a curt nod.

“Jenna also found out about this information a couple months ago. Instead of telling anybody, she talked to us and promised to keep it to herself, and she has kept that promise. She was also the one who told me about the information leak.”

The employees, minus the R&D department, were on the edge of their seats, eager to find out the information but scared of their boss and what he could do to them if things got out.

“Seeing as nothing can seem to stay a secret here, I have elected to talk to you all about it. Keep in mind that what happened in terms of this information being revealed was a serious breach of confidentiality and disrespected not just my own privacy. Take this as a warning. If any of you are to tell anybody outside of this company about this, your employment will be terminated and my legal team will sue you to kingdom come. This is not a three strikes you’re out situation. Do not tell a soul about this. Keep in mind the fact that you all signed non-disclosure agreements when you took this job. This counts as a company secret, and you will treat it as one.”

Everybody seemed to nod or give a murmur of confirmation. It wasn’t much, but it appeared to satisfy the man.

“Moving on, I’m sure you’ve all either seen or heard about Peter. Only a select few of you know who he is, though without his consent, and others have seen us interact but never known who we are to each other. This information about our private lives was discovered and we have no choice but to let you all know in fear of rumors and gossip being spread around and taken outside the company. Everybody, please meet my fiancé, Peter Parker.”

The room was shocked into silence, the only sound being the clacking of Peter’s shoes as he softly walked out from the wings and to Tony’s side. None of the employees uttered even a sound as they looked up at the boy, whose eyes were still slightly red and puffy from when he had cried only ten minutes earlier.

“Hey, everybody. I’m Peter. You’ve all probably seen me around,” the young man introduced himself, voice only loud enough to hear. “Like Tony said, we weren’t planning on telling people yet, but we don’t get that choice anymore.”

They were still silent.

“Since this will be your only chance to do so, we’ll be answering questions about this,” Peter continued. Nobody spoke, until one person in the third row raised their hand and the young man motioned to them. “Yes, go ahead.”

“How, uh, how old are you?” the woman asked quietly, looking slightly concerned.

Peter sighed as Tony looked to him with a humorous smile.

“Don’t you fucking dare,” he told the billionaire, who didn’t have a chance to respond before Jenna started laughing a bit. “You too?! I can’t believe you would betray me like this! This happens every fucking time!”

The employee who asked furrowed her eyebrows, seemingly mirroring the confusion of the rest of the audience.

“I’m twenty-one,” Peter told her. “Tony likes to make fun of me because I look like I’m not old enough to drive. Jenna’s laughing because she asked the same question when she found out.”

The woman nodded along with the explanation and everybody went silent again before another person raised their hand and Peter pointed to them.

+++

Eight Months Later

“And this is your team!” Kelsey told the new employees excitedly. “Meet Jenna and Ashley! They’ve been here for a while and are definitely excited to show you the ropes!”

“It’s nice to meet you!” Jenna greeted. “What’s your name?”

“I’m River,” the new guy replied quietly, cheeks flushed.

“I’m glad to have you on the team, River!” Ashley exclaimed.

“I’ll leave you all to it!” Kelsey gave River one last smile and walked off to talk to some teams about their projects.

“We’re finishing up some last touches on the update to the prosthetics line,” Jenna explained to the new recruit as he sat down. He nodded along as she began to explain the project.

Jenna was cut off by the elevator doors opening and Peter walking onto the floor.

“Excuse me for a second,” the woman told her team before jumping up and running over to the brunet.

“Who’s that?” River asked Ashely as he watched Jenna excitedly embrace the man and begin to talk to him.

“Have you signed all your NDAs?”

River nodded.

“Peter!” Ashely called. “Come meet the new kid!”

Peter bounded over eagerly, a large smile on his face as he approached the two employees, Jenna trailing him.

“Uh, hi, I’m River.”

“Nice to meet you, River! I’m Peter Parker. It’s always great to see new faces around here!”

“It’s great to be here,” he replied awkwardly.

Peter nodded and was off again, going around to teams and helping with projects, but, more importantly, just talking to the employees in general.

“Is he a director or something? Everybody seems to know him,” River questioned his team.

“He’s even better than a director,” Ashley told him with a grin. “He’s Tony’s Stark’s fiancé.”

Shock painted itself across River’s face.

“There’s no way that’s real!”

Ashley and Jenna glanced at each other before turning back to River. They didn’t say anything else to him, which was unnerving to the new employee.

As if on cue, the elevator doors opened once more and the Tony Stark walked out, a small smile adorning his face. Peter worked up from where he was helping a team and flitted over to the man happily. The two shared a short kiss before Peter turned back a bit.

“We still on for lunch on Friday, Jenna?”

“Of course!”

Peter shot her a smile and the couple entered the elevator, talking quietly as they disappeared behind the metal doors.

“Okay, so maybe it is real.”

Tag List (Let me know if you would like to be added or removed):

@darkerstarker @dim-ships-johnlock @haylove5

[waveypedia]

Key to a Memory

(warning for swearing)

~

{people need a melody to open their eyes

like a key to a memory frozen in time

holding on to everything, you’re stuck in the past

boy dontcha know that the world moves fast

it’s been a little while since we’ve been together

it’s been a long time since we were young and wild, remember

when we were friends, remember}

--

May 14, 2019 I 6:26 pm

UNKNOWN NUMBER: GYRO

UNKNOWN NUMBER: HEY GYRO

UNKNOWN NUMBER: It’s me Della!! Your bud!!!

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I’m back from space!!!

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I can’t believe you have the same number you nerd! lol I remember when Uncle Scrooge finally forced you to get a phone and you got a super cheap one and then upgraded it with your own tech

UNKNOWN NUMBER: I can’t wait to see how much more upgraded and fancy your phone is now!

UNKNOWN NUMBER: sorry for not texting you sooner I got back a couple days ago but things have just been really hectic since then ya know??

UNKNOWN NUMBER: anyway I know you’re probably busy changing the world and inventing amazing things for Uncle Scrooge

UNKNOWN NUMBER: he told me you got an intern!! Congrats!! I can’t wait to meet them

UNKNOWN NUMBER: just call me when you get a chance ok? I’d really like to catch up

--

“GYRO!!” Della screamed, kicking open the door to the lab. Gyro scowled at his desk and scrawled a quick note to outfit the elevator with self-opening doors. The scientist sighed and stood up reluctantly, stepping around his desk to be in full view. “What is it now, Della?”

Della sprinted into the lab, her grin threatening to split her face in two. She exuberantly waved a bundle of papers in Gyro’s face. “Donnie and I got tickets to the new Galaxy Wars movie, and you’re coming!! Thursday at 6!! Be there or be square!!”

Gyro snorted and gently waved her off, pushing the tickets out of his face. “Dels, I’m busy here. Besides, any self-respecting scientist knows those movies are garbage.”

Della fake-pouted and slung her arm around Gyro’s shoulders, despite the height difference. She had to lean and go up on her tiptoes to manage, making Gyro burst out in a fit of laughter. She shrugged, tugging Gyro down to her height. “Whatever. The premiere was a couple weeks ago, so you probably won’t get into a fistfight with an overzealous fan this time-”

“-Their fault-” Gyro muttered under his breath as Della prattled on.

“-Aaaaaand Cousin Gladdy’ll be there! With his luck we probably won’t get kicked out by the ushers,” Della finished proudly.

Gyro rolled his eyes good-naturedly. “Ugh, Gladstone? That man is too self-absorbed. Takes one to know one. And does that mean Fethry will be there as well?”

“Yep!” Della beamed. “He loves science, Gy, and he loves you! He’ll grow on you one day.”

“Highly unlikely.” Gyro shoved her arm off and stretched, standing up to his full height. “I grudgingly respect Fethry’s passion and his interest in scientific fields. He’s just so…” Gyro huffed. “Annoying.”

Della poked him in the beak. “Whatever. If you think Fethry’s annoying, my buddy Loopy from flight school will be there and she’ll blow your mind. But in a good way! Loopy’s amazing!”

Gyro groaned and slapped a hand on his face, slowly dragging it down. “Loopy and I are your only friends, aren’t we?”

Della puffed her chest out in mock effrontery. “I have lots of friends! I’m the best at making friends! They’re just all over the globe, you know, cause of all the amazing and daring adventuring I do!”

Gyro snorted and knocked his friend with his shoulder. “Whatever. When one of these international ‘friends’ comes around to Duckburg and hangs out with you beyond the adventure, let me know.”

Della smirked. “So you’ll be there?”

“Fine. I’ll be there.” Gyro affirmed, rolling his eyes.Della beamed mischievously. “Wonderful! See you there! Also it’s a sleepover and I’m adding you to a group chat specifically for this event now byeeeeee!!!”

“WHAT?!” Gyro squawked, racing after Della, but the elevator dinged and carried her far away. “Della! No! Come back! DELLA!!! I WILL NOT SUBJECT MYSELF TO THE TORTURES OF YOUR CHILDISH SLEEPOVER!!!” He chanced a look at his phone. It was already blowing up with texts from Della and Fethry.

Gyro groaned and slammed his head down on his desk, grateful for the solitude of his lab. He pulled up the calendar Scrooge filled with his deadlines from the board and added the movie night so he wouldn’t forget. A small, pleased smile played at his beak.

He picked up his phone, muted the group chat, and returned to his work.

 --

read 9:28 pm

--

May 15 I 4:03 pm

Della Duck: hey dumbass

Della Duck: they have read receipts now stupid

Della Duck: I know you saw my messages

Della Duck: whatever I know you’re hella busy just call me when you get the chance

Della Duck: hahah did you see that? hella! I used new slang!

Della Duck: Louie taught it to me :D

Della Duck: I can’t believe his name is Louie and not Rebel! I’m kinda mad at Donald but also it suits him more than Rebel

Della Duck: Dewey though… he’s DEFINITELY a Turbo

Della Duck: Huey could go either way but he’s okay with Huey so I guess I am too

Della Duck: It’s a lot to take in

Della Duck: although Webby would be overjoyed to be Jet or Rebel

Della Duck: I can’t believe I have an extra daughter!!! how cool is that?? four kids for the price of three!!

Della Duck: or maybe it’s more like six kids for the price of three since Webby had friends over today and they all seem close

Della Duck: Ooh you know who would be a good Rebel? Lena! apparently she just came back from the shadow realm??? I missed so much

Della Duck: i can’t believe you guys got to fight magica de spell without me AND she had a kid

Della Duck: she’s still kinda hot ngl

Della Duck: but louie showed me a picture of her after she lost her magic and ehhhh

Della Duck: but also there are lots of hot people around these days and I’m kinda freaked out

Della Duck: like I made a best friend of my roommate on the moon!! Her name’s Penumbra but I call her Penny and I’d let her stomp on me. Best part is she probably would

Della Duck: also Uncle Scrooge got a new pilot & driver and I hate him cause he’s sorta replacing me?? But also he’s hot in a himbo kinda way

Della Duck: I know you have insanely high standards but you gotta back me up here gyro Launchpad is kinda hot

Della Duck: damn i’ve missed our conversations about various hot people and our lack of love lives

Della Duck: I told you about Penny you gotta fill me in on the current hotties in the Duckburg science community

Della Duck: I also met your intern! He seems nice ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ) ;) ;) ;)

Della Duck: i can hear your voice. “Della that is an excessive amount of emoticons”

Della Duck: well if you want me to stop you’ll just have to reply ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;) ;)

Della Duck: at least you’re not telling me to use “emojis”Della Duck: apparently they all have hidden meanings and I don’t understand

Della Duck: Louie, Dewey, and Lena tried to teach Uncle Scrooge and I

Della Duck: I’m ashamed to say I think he fared better than I did

Della Duck: he’s old!! He’s supposed to be clueless!! I’m not old I was just on the moon for a decade!! That’s gotta count for something right?

4:46 pm

Della Duck: i see how it is

Della Duck: ignore me all you want but i’m right

--

The sun was nearly below the horizon, painting the evening sky and the waves below it in a plethora of muted colors, when Della broke the topic. “Yo. I think Magica de Spell is kinda hot.”

Gyro swerved to stare at her so fast he felt something in his neck crack. “Magica?! She’s ancient; are you crazy?!”

Della shrugged, kicking sand around absentmindedly with her bare toes. “Yeah, but she doesn’t look it. She’s hot in an unattainable kind of way.”

Gyro snorted, loud and sad. “I know how that feels.”

Della nudged him teasingly. “What’s going on in your love life? I shared, now you have to.”

Gyro rolled his eyes and nudged her back, harder. “You know nothing’s happening.” He shrugged carelessly. “It’s not like I have much time outside of work.”

“Yeah, but that’s because you refuse to take care of yourself and you act like you’ll die if you leave the lab,” Della said good-naturedly. “You should come on an adventure with us!”

Gyro sighed contentedly and waved her away. “I’ll stick to the lab, thanks. My inventions’ corrupted morality circuits provide me quite enough stress and adventure, thank you very much.”

(He couldn’t very well tell her that her dear ol’ uncle had entrusted him with the project of a lifetime, his chance to thank her for her gift of friendship, his chance to prove himself to Mr. McDuck for once and for all, his chance to redeem himself from the smoking failure that was 2BO. He didn’t have to run himself ragged working on the Spear of Selene day and night, but this was important, far more important than anything Gyro had worked on at McDuck Industries before. For his career, and for his friendship. And he wanted to do it right.)

(Shame he failed in the end anyway.)

Della sighed assent, smiling, and leaned back on her elbows, working her fingers into the sand. She had given up for now, but Gyro knew she would broach the subject again soon, from a new angle, with a new tactic. Della Duck never gave up.

“Maybe one day,” Gyro said, surprising himself. After this whole Spear debacle is said and done.

Della beamed and knocked her shoulder into his affectionately. “I’ll hold you to that!”

Gyro smiled wryly. “I know you will.”

--

Gyro pushed up his glasses and studied Della’s texts, willing his eyes not to unfocus and his brain not to zone out. He read them once, twice, three times. Four.

He began typing.

Gyro Gearloose: I remember-

Gyro Gearloose: My love life is as nonexistent as it was when you left-

Gyro Gearloose: emojis are zealous anyway-

Gyro Gearloose: I’m sorry-

He deleted his words, frustrated, nerves and old, painful memories rubbed raw, and never sent a reply.

--

June 11 I 2:09 pm

Della Duck: so Fenton and I went out for coffee today

Della Duck: not on a date, just as a chance to get to know each other platonically

Della Duck: he’s so much like you

Della Duck: not on the surface. In fact you guys are pretty much opposites

Della Duck: but you both care so much, even though you show it differently

Della Duck: i know you care your prickly demeanor can’t fool me

Della Duck: you’re both incredibly passionate about sciences

Della Duck: you’re both super awkward

Della Duck: he has high praise for you, and he really admires you, but it sounds like you’re not that close and I think you totally should be!

Della Duck: I know you’re probably annoyed that I’m meddling in your (love) life again, but get used to it!! I’m the best wingman and friend and I’m here to stay!!

Della Duck: even if you don’t text me back

Della Duck: (but seriously, please text me back. I miss you.)

Della Duck: he said you might need some space and I guess that makes sense but i just don’t understand why

Della Duck: that’s the only reason I haven’t stormed down to the lab by now

Della Duck: Did i do something before I took off for the moon?

Della Duck: or are you like Donnie and you’re mad?Della Duck: at least I think Donnie’s mad

Della Duck: or he will be

Della Duck: he’s on a cruise, Gyro! A fucking cruise!!!

Della Duck: he left the day I got back and now he’s gone for a fucking month

Della Duck: he thinks I’m dead

Della Duck: I miss him so much

Della Duck: the cruise doesn’t allow cell phones so I can’t even contact him and tell him I’m alive

Della Duck: But Huey and I sent postcards!! I don’t know if they’ll reach him but I really hope they do

Della Duck: Huey and Webby have been checking the mailbox meticulously to see if he sends one back

Della Duck: sorry for ranting

Della Duck: I just miss him

Della Duck: I miss you too you know? Yeah i’m being stupid sappy again but it’s dumb that you’re right here, across the city, and we haven’t talked

Della Duck: call me gyro you fucking coward

2:43 pm

Della Duck: also Fenton is totally Gizmoduck right

Della Duck: I met Gizmoduck once when he came to formally greet me

Della Duck: and i’ve seen him around the city lots

Della Duck: but they’re so similar. They have the same mannerisms

Della Duck: I guess that means you built his armor then right?

Della Duck: or you helped

Della Duck: it’s great Gyro

Della Duck: look at you! An invention that didn’t turn evil!!

Della Duck: I’m proud of you bud

--

“Have you ever thought about hiring someone to help in the lab?” Della asked one day, apropos of nothing.

She had dragged Gyro into a fancy coffee shop - one he’d probably be banned from had he attempted to patronize it on his own, and one he would be in the post-Spear of Selene era - and forced him to take a break from the top secret project he’d been devoting all his time to. They bought overpriced, bougie coffees on Mr. McDuck’s dime and traded jabs without any real bite to them, as was customary for them. Della mocked Gyro’s unique taste for black licorice, again. Same old, same old.

And then, this.

Gyro paused, his ceramic mug halfway to his face. “I’m fine on my own. Any help would only get in my way. They would stumble over their own feet and I would have to take precious time off of my own projects to tediously help them flail and fall.”

Della set down her coffee and leaned forward with her elbows on the table. “You’re so cynical. Besides, you’re working yourself to death down there! It might help if you had someone else to lighten the load.”

Gyro paused. “I suppose I might be more productive if I didn’t have to do the menial tasks beneath me…”

“-And you could make a FRIEND!!!” Della cheered, standing up and leaning heavily on the table, her enthusiasm thundering in full-force. “Someone to chat with on late nights deep in projects, someone who understands your passion for science, someone you can count on when Donnie and I are off on an adventure!”

Gyro groaned, startled at first but then settling into resignation. “I should have known you had an ulterior motive.”

Della giggled, batting her eyelashes jokingly. “I only have your best interests at heart.”

Gyro shrugged and swirled his quickly-cooling coffee around in his mug. “Besides, Dels, you know there’s a reason you’re one of my only friends, right? You and Dickie and Daisy, you’re the people I’m closest with and that’s because you wouldn’t put up with my prickly, stay-alone-all-the-time bullshit. You guys drag me out of whatever place I’m holed up in kicking and screaming. Most people are not like that. I’m lucky to have three of you,” he admitted in the kind of moment of uncharacteristic vulnerability and clarity that only comes when you’re with someone you really trust.

Della snorted and reached across the table to shove Gyro gently. “Shut your self-depricating hole, Gyro Gearloose. Trust me, I wouldn’t put up with you if I didn’t want to.”

Gyro smirked, a small smile chasing away the dark storm clouds that covered his face. “I know, Dels.”

“Good.” Della replied self-assuredly. “I love Dickie and Daisy, and I love that they love you, but they’re not local. You need more friends, Gyro.”

“Maybe,” Gyro hummed softly, the closest he would ever come to admitting it. “But it’s even harder to get along with coworkers, and the chances of my subordinate being someone who actually wants to be friends with me is abysmal.”

Della shrugged. “Sometimes you learn to like each other. Like me ‘n Donnie! We drive each other crazy, but we have each other’s backs when it matters, and we’re always there for each other.”

Gyro snorted. “This hypothetical person and I will be coworkers, Dels, not siblings. That’s different. Besides, you and Donald love each other too much to be healthy.”

“Yeah, but Donnie and Uncle Scrooge and I are a little like coworkers, aren’t we? Adventuring is our job, and it’s very stressful at times,” Della said.

Gyro shook his head. “Dels, honestly, you have to get a job at some point. Mr. McDuck won’t let you leech off of him for much longer now, and you have no experience. It’s really not the same.”

Della shrugged. “At some point. I know Uncle Scrooge is biting at the bit, especially after Donnie joined the Navy, but I don’t want the responsibilities and schedules of work to tie me down and take me away from adventuring, you know? It’s the same reason I didn’t go off to college.”

“I still think you should have,” Gyro replied, smiling wryly. “You’re bright and you’d flourish being able to study what you choose.”

“I learn a lot adventuring,” Della replied smugly, stubborn as always. “I can speak seven languages fluently, you know!”

“Even if most of them are dead, or belong to otherworldly beings from alternate dimensions,” Gyro pointed out.

Della sighed contentedly and shook her head. “Whatever. What’s done is done, and I’ll get a job someday. But just think about it, Gyro, all right?” She locked gazes with Gyro pleadingly.

Gyro sighed in defeat. “Fine. I will give it some thought. But don’t get your hopes up, all right?”

Della smirked. “Whatever you say.”

Gyro put his head in his hands, roughly shoving aside his expensive coffee. (He was lucky it didn’t crash and burn, like most of his inventions.)

She’s not gonna win this one, Gyro aggressively promised himself. I can’t subject anyone else to my bullshit.

(The only reason he assented and allowed an intern on, in the future, was because Scrooge all but ordered it. He saw firsthand the way having positive people around improves lives and wanted that for Gyro too, especially with Della gone and Donald barely speaking to him. And if Mr. McDuck’s not-so-subtle hints and gentle persuasion-turned direct orders gave Gyro crystal-clear flashbacks to Della’s not-so-gentle prodding, and if he cried that night after his boss left, well, no one would be anyone the wiser.)

(He got quite lucky with Fenton and Manny, though. Some of that was the Board's thorough vetting process, but some of it was Scrooge himself intervening, because he wanted Gyro to make a friend as badly as Della had.)

--

August 15 I 7:26 pm

Della Duck: all right

Della Duck: I talked to Fenton again

Della Duck: i’m sorry for bothering you

Della Duck: it hurts to not talk to you but I’m gonna give you your space

Della Duck: I’m here whenever you’re ready

Della Duck: but please be ready soon Gyro i’m impatient

I know you are, Gyro nearly whispered as he read the texts. It felt like a finality, a surrender. But that couldn’t be right, because Della Duck never gave up.

How could he and his stupid, stupid inability to communicate his feelings and face his irrational fears be the one thing that forced Della Duck to admit defeat?

(read 7:58 pm)

--

The McDuck Annual Holiday Party was in full swing when Gyro arrived quietly. Launchpad had offered to drive him with Fenton, Manny, and Scrooge when they left a couple of hours ago, but Gyro had stayed to put the finishing touches on his current project, lest he lose his motivation.

That was the only reason. Not because Della would be there, and he might be forced to talk to her. No, sir.

Gyro clenched his fists so tight his knuckles turned white in the pockets of his vest. Who was he kidding? He wasn’t fooling himself, and he certainly wasn’t fooling his friends family coworkers. Every single one of them, even Mr. McDuck (now that was painful) had tossed him a look that ranged from disappointed to knowing to pitying as they left for the party. It made Gyro want to scream in rage and slam his fists against the wall until they were bruised and bloody. But even he knew that was unacceptable party behavior. (Mrs. Beakley had humiliatingly taken him aside for a quick rundown on which of his usual behaviors were not applicable at company parties.)

Steeling himself for a night of faux cheer and passive-aggressive conversations, Gyro quietly opened the door and slipped inside. Skirting on the outskirts of the party, he scanned the room desperately for allies to swarm to and enemies to avoid.

He spotted Fenton and Launchpad first, amicably chatting up the legendary Greek hero Storkules and his sister, the equally inexplicable and ethereal goddess Selene. (A mystery to unpack at a later date.) Beside them was the gruff Moonlander that Della seemed to love.

Gyro set his jaw. He could handle chatty immortals and aggressive aliens. At least they probably wouldn’t have a personal vendetta against him because of a malfunctioning invention or a poorly placed comment. He waded determinedly through the sluggish crowd, surprisingly stopped a couple times by friendly faces. (Boyd’s hug of greeting lasted almost three minutes, and that didn’t even account for the rest of the overzealously affectionate kids.)

Looking back, he’s lucky his the kids stalled him, because when he finally emerged from Webby’s hug, his eyes locked on his own personal horror story.

Della.

This was the first time Gyro had actually seen her since she’d come back from the moon. Her hair was longer, if only slightly, and her metal leg gleamed in the light from the chandeliers above. (His fingers itched to get his hands on it and upgrade it, toy with it, make it into a personal project, but he adamantly refused himself.)

Alongside the physical differences, Gyro noticed some changes to her demeanor as well. She seemed more… weathered, and tired, despite the ever-present spark of energy she seemed to radiate and her unwavering grin. It was cliché, and Dr. Gyro Gearloose hated clichés with a passion, but she had an almost haunted look in her eyes, contrasting her radiating cheery energy.

She was different, and he was different. So much time had passed. It seemed almost impossible that the duck in front of him was the same duck that Gyro had shared coffee and secrets with almost daily ten years ago.

And yet he yearned to return to their easy friendship. Not for the first time, Gyro wished desperately to go back in time a decade and stop the Spear of Selene from ever happening.

Della slipped between Penumbra and Selene, glowing in the way only an extrovert in social situations can. By way of greeting, she hugged everyone, even Fenton (!!!). She settled at last, hanging off Penumbra’s shoulder with Selene’s arm around her and Launchpad’s jacket around her shoulders (how she had acquired that, Gyro had no idea).

Unfortunately for Gyro, from her new position, she had a perfect view of him, stuck with only a single sparse group between them. Her eyes strayed to lock onto him and he froze, panic creeping in a mile a minute.For a moment neither moved, staring at each other.

She hadn’t texted him since August, true to her word, albeit how much it hurt for both of them. She had come to the lab a couple times, to pick up Fenton and/or Manny for coffee or to pick up or drop off Huey, Webby, or Boyd. But Gyro had always hid like the coward he was, terrified to face his best friend. The last time they’d talked was the day before Della took off in the Spear of Selene, ten years and eight months ago.

At last, after four months, and nine months of radio silence from his end, here she was, almost close enough to touch.

Then Gyro’s fight-or-flight instinct kicked in and he turned tail and ran, panic clouding his vision and his judgement. He shoved one of the Sabrewing husbands roughly aside (Scrooge would undoubtedly make him apologize for that later) in his frantic quest to escape all the raw emotions, of hurt and guilt and self-hatred, that sprung up all of a sudden.

His eyes locked on a door and he wrenched it open before slamming it shut. He leaned hard against the door, hands clenched around the handle, breathing hard.

Only once the panic began creeping away and his breathing slowed did Gyro finally process his surroundings. He was in a small broom closet, filled to the brim with glittery party supplies Mrs. Beakley had probably denied Webby. (She would probably find a way to sneak them into the party sometime later.)

And perched precariously on top of a box labeled “glitter fireworks” was a woman Gyro had met once, in the Old West, two hundred years ago.

Goldie O’Gilt sized him up, panicked and ruffled, and apparently decided he was no threat. She slid gracefully down from the boxes. “What brings you here, to the closet of forgotten and abandoned party supplies? Girl troubles?”

Gyro wanted to laugh, because technically, she was right. “I’m gay,” he replied, giving her his best deadpan stare. It was lacking.

She assessed him, trying hard not to smile, before bursting out laughing. Gyro barely resisted the urge to bury his face in his hands. “People problems, whatever. Please. You can’t fool me, hun.”

Gyro crossed his arms testily. “Why are you here? Away with you.”

Goldie grinned smugly, pretending to examine her nails. “Oh, nothing special. Just some extra fun for Scroogey later. May or may not involve glitter fireworks. You?”

Gyro snorted, without any real humor behind it, and rolled his eyes. “Great. Well, I have better things to do than watch you drive Mr. McDuck up the wall. See ya.”

“This is about Scroogey’s rediscovered niece, isn’t it?” Goldie called after him, as if as an afterthought.

Gyro froze, his fingers curled around the doorknob. “Why do you care?”

“I don’t, really,” Goldie hummed, faking disinterest. “But spare an old woman some juicy gossip, would ya? ‘Sides, I’m a professional conwoman. I see all the angles, and yours is in plain sight.”

Gyro scowled and shifted so he could see Goldie’s face again. She was smirking, small but triumphant, which did nothing to quell Gyro’s steadily growing mix between annoyance and panic. “And I suppose this has nothing to do with ‘Aunt Goldie,’ would it?”

Goldie shrugged nonchalantly, but the smile on her beak shifted into a small pout of annoyance. “I’ll do you a favor and be honest with you. Cherish this moment; it won’t happen again.”

She sighed and leaned more heavily against the precariously stacked boxes. “I may have missed Della and her adventurous, rambunctious spirit over the years,” she confessed, suddenly looking a good deal more like the age-old tired adventurer she was. “It hurts to see that spirit quenched, especially when I just got her back. She hasn’t even frustratingly tagged along to one of Scroogey and I’s not-so-solo adventures! And… I care about her. She’s almost my niece.”

Gyro frowned, stunned at Goldie’s clarity. “...Oh.”

Goldie straightened up and whipped out a shiny knife from the folds of her dress. “But tell anyone, especially Della or Scrooge, and they’ll never know what happened to ya,” she warned, wagging the knife in the direction of Gyro’s face.

He pressed himself against the door while maintaining his scowl, despite the fact that it was too far away to hurt him. He knew what she could do if she put her mind to it. “I won’t.”

Goldie slipped the knife back into the folds of her dress, where it seemed to magically disappear from her hand. “Good. Now go get my niece’s spirit back,” she instructed strictly, shoving Gyro not-so-subtly towards the door.

He wrenched it open and slipped surreptitiously outside, glancing around the party. The crowds seemed to have thinned a little.

Gyro spotted Della easily. She, Donald, and Mrs. Beakley were gently corralling the gaggle of children upstairs - it was quite late, after all. Gyro started to step towards her, then hesitated.

He chickened out and sprinted unsteadily outside instead, taking in big mouthfuls of the refreshingly cold December air.

The chill set in after a few moments and he wrapped his arms around himself, shivering, and despairingly started the long trek away from the mansion.

His phone was buzzing with worried texts from his friends (and Della, no doubt), but Gyro set his jaw and walked on, stubbornly ignoring their annoyingly righteous concern. No use telling everyone he lost his nerve again, just like every time Della texted.

Gyro gritted his teeth and pulled the collar of his jacket over the lower half of his face as protection against the biting winds. The physical pain lessened, but the icy feeling in his gut did not. He balled his hands into fists, as if to physically punch his overwhelming guilt and regret away.

I’m a bad friend.

--

Early April was always a little tough for Gyro, with the anniversary of the destruction he inadvertently sowed in Tokyolk. It got better with time, but the early years were always a little rough.

(And after that he always had another grief-filled and regretful anniversary to observe in April, anyway.)

He was pushing through it, though, by throwing himself into his work. This year was especially easy. The Spear of Selene was almost done, and would probably be finished just before the eggs’ hatching.

The last time he talked to Della was when he was taking a quick, rare break the day before what would be the second-worst day of Gyro’s life. (Tokyolk took first, if only narrowly.) He had gone off on a quest in search of coffee - he was at the launch lot, and he’d unfortunately been banned from the closest coffee shop. (It was their fault anyway - what kind of coffee shop didn’t want an automatic coffee bean stocker? Even if it tried to stock customers when there were no beans left? Really, they shouldn’t have run out of beans. And his price of free coffee for life was so reasonable and small, really, when he usually frequented the one closer to the lab. Their loss.)

“Gyro!” Della sprinted up to him, face flushed from running in the chilly winds and early spring air. She held out a coffee from the aforementioned shop to him with a grin, prompting his frustrated rant, but Della just let him prattle on with a goofy grin gracing her face.

“What’s going on?” Gyro finally demanded, after watching Della beam ardently at his violent threats and calls for justice and revenge towards the coffee shop. “Your smile is… sillier than usual. Which is saying something.”

Della waved him off, his insult breezing past her. “It’s a surprise. You’ll see!!”

Gyro raised an eyebrow, unconvinced. “Is it a good surprise?”

Della beamed triumphantly back at him. “Definitely.”

Gyro frowned dubiously, but he knew Della well. For all her recklessness, when she was this sure about something, her judgement was usually worth listening to.

(Later, he’d wish he hadn’t listened to her, and trusted his own gut, for once.)

He shrugged. “I highly doubt it’s as good as you think it is,” he replied haughtily, prompting carefree laughter from Della.

“It definitely is. Just you wait.” She reached out with her free hand and booped him on the beak, causing him to reel back, away from her. “I can make an educated guess that you’ll love it.”

Gyro rolled his eyes at her rudimentary science terminology, causing her to giggle. “If it’s another movie night with Fethry, I’ll pass.”

“Better than that,” Della promised, her smug grin turning downright devious. It didn’t faze Gyro in the slightest.

He shrugged carelessly. “With you, that could either mean better or worse. Otherwise known as pure, unadulterated torture for me.”

Della laughed, but her smile softened into something more vulnerable and emotional, no longer masked by a carefree and reckless demeanor. “I’m telling you, Gyro. You’ll love it. Come on, when have I ever been wrong?’’

Gyro barked a laugh. “Do you really want me to answer that? Because I have a full comprehensive list at the top of my head, and that only covers the basics.”

“Hating black licorice doesn’t count,” Della protested. “It tastes worse than every iteration of Hell, and I’ve been to every iteration of Hell!”

Gyro raised an eyebrow, unimpressed. “Did you taste every iteration of Hell?”

Della rolled her eyes playfully. “Whatever. Just trust me on this one, will you?” she asked, hitting him with that almost vulnerable expression again.

Gyro huffed. “Fine.” He stuck a finger pompously in the air. “But I reserve the right to pass judgement when I see it.”

Della sighed without any real weight behind it. “Fine, whatever you want. But trust me, you’ll be blown away by the amazingness of this surprise!!!”

“We’ll see about that,” Gyro replied, smirking. “Now, away with you!! I have a highly important project to finish - which is unanimously more important than whatever surprise you have cooked up - and I simply cannot afford any distractions!!”

Della snorted knowingly. “Whatever. See you tomorrow at my amazing surprise! And you’re welcome for the coffee, Mr. Banned-From-Coffee-Shops!!”

Gyro shook his head fondly and made his way down the hill back to the lot. The Spear of Selene loomed in front of him, shining in the weak midday sun. It seemed frozen, waiting, on edge.

“Soon,” Gyro promised to no one in particular. He climbed inside to make some last-minute tweaks to the nuanced controls. “You’ll be in the air by May at the latest,” he promised, patting the cold metal of the rocketship. “Just let me make sure this is perfect. So nothing could ever go wrong.”

--

Jan 3, 2020 I 5:47 am

Donald Duck: hey asshole

Donald Duck: fyi Della’s really upset

Donald Duck: she really missed her friends ya know?

Donald Duck: Look, Gyro

Donald Duck: I know how this feels

Donald Duck: I know you’re scared

Donald Duck: but dude you face scarier stuff every day when your inventions go evil

Donald Duck: if you can face Lil’ Bulb turning evil not once but twice and still call him your son I think you can face your best friend

Donald Duck: and i know I said some shitty things to you the day we lost her and I’m sorry, that was uncalled for

Donald Duck: I was upset, as were you

Donald Duck: I forgive you if that’s not clear

Donald Duck: i forgave you a long time ago

Donald Duck: Della has too

Donald Duck: she never blamed you

Donald Duck: except maybe for the flavor of Oxy-Chew. But that saved her life, Gyro!

Donald Duck: I know I said your invention killed her, but your invention also saved her, and after she fixed it your invention brought her home

Donald Duck: now she’s back, but you’re losing her again

--

Gyro stumbling blearily awake, fumbling for his glasses, tired and disoriented, was nothing outside of the norm. He was a secluded, inane inventor with few friends, little social interaction, and no sleep schedule. Not to mention the plethora of projects piled on his desk vying for his attention, and the ever-present mug of coffee in his hand. (At the moment, there was a half-empty one on his desk, placed precariously on top of some blueprints.)

But his latest cup of coffee’s predicament was the least of Gyro’s worries at the moment. Because his phone, charging on his bedside, was blowing up. And that was decidedly not normal.

Gyro, at this point in time, didn’t have social media yet. (Fenton, Louie, and Dewey didn’t exist in his life yet, and so they had not had a chance to plot and execute an intervention.) Sometimes his phone blew up from the group chat with Daisy and Dickie, or the group chat with Della, Daisy, and Dickie, or just Della when she got excited. Or Fethry, once in a while, but Gyro was certain he’d blocked Fethry’s number this time.

Gyro clumsily put on his glasses and pulled himself up into a sitting position, still half-asleep. He scrolled through his notifications, frowning.

Mostly missed calls from Donald and Scrooge, a couple confused text notifications from Gladstone, two missed calls from the Board (that couldn’t be good), and one from Roxanne Featherly, a trainee journalist under Angus Fangus who had taken an unfortunate liking to calling him whenever one of his inventions went haywire.

Panic began to stir in Gyro’s gut.

The weirdest part, though, was that most of the notifications had not come from Della. She was by far his most ardent caller, and she had called, a couple times, but they were all over an hour ago. They were all buried by the rest of his missed calls.

Odd. Very odd.

Gyro tried calling Della first, to soften the blow of whatever was happening. Della wouldn’t sugarcoat the problem. She knew better. But there was something about her contagious enthusiasm and optimism, as well as her face-it-head-on attitude, that made whatever issue was at hand seem less daunting.

But his call went to voicemail.

Gyro shook his head, confused and more than a little scared at this point. Della almost never refused his calls, even if she was on an adventure (as long as she had cell service). It annoyed Donald to no avail, but Gyro was grateful for it - he didn’t reach out for social interaction with no reason.

But now? It only scared Gyro.

He frowned, contemplating, and called Donald next. Scrooge was more likely to call unprompted than Donald, and he didn’t want to deal with the Buzzards or Featherly yet, so Donald it was.

He picked up on the third ring.“Oh, so now he picks up!! When he can’t be of any help!! What’s the big idea, Doctor?!”

Gyro scowled, annoyance beginning to mix with the terror in his gut. “For your information, I just woke up. Now, what is going on?! Della won’t answer my calls and I have an ungodly amount of notifications at three AM. Seriously, people.”

“You want to know what is going on?!” Donald screamed, his voice and temper steadily rising. Gyro flinched at the volume, but kept the phone pressed close to his ear out of half morbid curiosity and half unwanted worry. “I’ll tell you what’s going on!!! Scrooge just killed Della!! And he used your stupid, untrustworthy invention to do it!!!”

Gyro nearly dropped the phone.“...Killed?” he nearly whispered. “How? The Spear of Selene isn’t ready yet and-”

“She took it!!” Donald screeched. “She took that good-for-nothing rocket and flew straight into a cosmic storm!”

“She wasn’t supposed to!” Gyro spluttered, numb. “She wasn’t even supposed to know about it yet!”

“Well, she did!” Donald spat darkly. “And now she’s gone. She left her boys orphaned. What were you thinking, making her that rocket?!”

“It was Mr. McDuck’s idea,” Gyro whispered numbly, automatically. “He- I- We never thought-”

“Scrooge,” Donald growled, and if Gyro knew him well enough he was dragging a frustrated hand down his face. “Of course. He’s too reckless and careless. He killed my sister.”

Gyro rubbed at his eyes under his glasses, unable to think of a coherent response. “I- I don’t think-”

“That’s right, you don’t think,” Donald snarled. “None of you do. And now my sister is dead, thanks to Scrooge. And you. Lose my number, Gyro. You won’t see me again.”

Click.

Gyro stared numbly at the floor, his phone still pressed against his ear, as the dial tone played. Finally, he slowly lowered it to his side and dropped it on the bed next to him before taking off his glasses and dropping his head into his hands.

Then, finally, he cried.

Della Duck. Dead. His best friend. Dead.

It was impossible, improbable. Della Duck was a famed adventurer barely two decades old. She breathed life. She had faced perils and terrors far worse than a cosmic storm, sustained injuries far worse, and bounced back.

Dead.

Because of Gyro’s invention. Maybe if he had worked a little harder, been a little more meticulous, he could have saved her.

He had failed again, gambled and lost with precious lives again, caused death and destruction again. It was Tokyolk all over again, and this time, the lost stakes were even more personal.

Gyro grabbed his phone suddenly, shakingly off the bed and pulled up Della’s contact. Her face beamed back at him, so full of life it seemed to burst from the tiny circle on his cracked phone screen.

He called her again, listening to it ring with baited breath even though he already knew the outcome.

“Hey, this is Della Duck, adventurer extraordinaire! I’m probably trekking through the Amazon or fighting a demon monarch in another dimension right now. Catch ya later!”

Gyro hung up before she could finish her last syllable and sobbed.

--

February 28 I 2:26 pm

Della Duck: fyi I’m picking Huey up today instead of Launchpad since he has a sleepover with his friend Jason today

Della Duck: you know

Della Duck: in case you wanna hide from me again

Della Duck: btw do you care if I snag that magnifying glass that shrinks people in like a month? We’re gonna go to Miniapolis soon

Della Duck: i mean i’m gonna take it anyway but figured you might want a heads up

March 14 I 5:18 pm

Gyro Gearloose: go ahead

Della Duck: GYRO!!!!

Della Duck: oh sorry

Della Duck: look I’m really excited but I also don’t wanna come on too strong

Gyro Gearloose: you’re fine

Della Duck: :D

Gyro Gearloose: it’s my fault I was being a coward

Gyro Gearloose: i couldn’t face my emotions and that was shitty of me

Della Duck: Gyro i took off in a rocket at midnight without telling anyone and left my kids without a mother for a decade

Della Duck: i win for stupid shitty actions here

Gyro Gearloose: it’s not a contest

Gyro Gearloose: we’re both shitty and stupid let’s leave it at that

Della Duck: yeah ur right

Gyro Gearloose: but dels

Gyro Gearloose: I’m sorry

Gyro Gearloose: it’s been almost a year and i fucking ignored you

Gyro Gearloose: i had the chance to get you back and i didn’t take it

Della Duck: hey

Della Duck: it’s okay

Della Duck: i know this is all a lot

Della Duck: i’m here now and that’s what matters

Gyro Gearloose: della i’m so glad

Della Duck: hey Huey is coming to the lab today

Della Duck: what if I come to pick him up and then you and I go out and catch up?

Della Duck: get expensive coffee on Uncle Scrooge’s dime just like old times?

Gyro Gearloose: fuck yeah

Gyro Gearloose: I’ve missed our expensive shitty coffee and gossip

Gyro Gearloose: I have SO much shit to talk about Dr. Akita

Gyro Gearloose: god

Gyro Gearloose: I hate him now

Della Duck: oh man

Della Duck: Huey told me a bit about Tokyolk but I want to hear all about it for you

Della Duck: and Boyd!!! Omg I can’t believe you’re a father

Della Duck: he’s so sweet

Gyro Gearloose: I don’t know if I’d call myself a father he has the Drakes

Della Duck: but you want to be don’t you?

Gyro Gearloose: ...yeah

Gyro Gearloose: but i’d be a shitty parent you know that

Della Duck: actually I don’t think so

Della Duck: i’m a shitty parent and I’m doing fine

Gyro Gearloose: what a surprise

Della Duck: wow thanks for the vote of confidence

Della Duck: but Beakley Donald and Scrooge are helping me

Della Duck: we’ll help you

Della Duck: join the shitty parents club!!

Gyro Gearloose: haha all right

Della Duck: also

Della Duck: i want to hear all about fenton

Gyro Gearloose: then I want to hear all about Penumbra

Gyro Gearloose: you’re not the only one who can play the love interest card

Della Duck: joke’s on you I WANT to talk about penny

Della Duck: anyway i’m leaving now

Della Duck: see you soon!!

Gyro Gearloose: i can’t wait to see you and your ugly 10-year-old clothes

Gyro Gearloose: seriously you’re wearing almost the exact same outfit

Della Duck:  uh HELLO you have no right to shit on the way I dress look at yourself

Della Duck: you dress like a very old gay man

Della Duck: i mean that vest?? really?

Gyro Gearloose: at least i’m not old

Della Duck: touché

Della Duck: LP is driving so i’m almost there see you in a sec

Della Duck: and i’ll probably grab that magnifying glass now

Gyro Gearloose: that’s fine

Gyro Gearloose: i missed you

Della Duck: aw you old sap

Della Duck: never thought i’d hear you say anything like that tbh you’ve gone soft

Gyro Gearloose: I realized recently that my greatest mistakes were not as black-and-white as they seemed

Gyro Gearloose: and if Boyd can forgive me for unknowingly letting Akita turn him into a weapon of mass destruction and for me ignoring him for years and belittling him throughout this trip

Gyro Gearloose: and if I can face both brainwashed 2BO and Akita and win with the “power of love” or whatever than maybe I can talk to you

Della Duck: damn

Della Duck: I have SO many questions about Tokyolk

Della Duck: but i can hold onto them for a minute

The lab doors dinged open, but Della was sprinting out of them before they were fully open. The rest of Team Science watched warily as Della rushed towards Gyro, beaming and laughing, joy seeming to spill out of her. They expected him to hide, or push her away. but to their happy surprise, Gyro met her halfway and wrapped her in a hug.

Or, Della nearly crashed into him and squeezed him so tight he couldn’t breathe, prompting some annoyance, but it was crushed under the sheer joy and emotions of seeing his estranged best friend after eleven years.

Gyro laughed shakily, holding back tears, until he realized Della was crying too. She got snot on his work shirt, but he didn’t care.

They held each other for quite a while, until Della finally pulled back, wiped her eyes, and socked Gyro in the shoulder. “Don’t ever leave me hanging like that again, you hear?! I will hunt you down! I’ll give you your space but I’ll hunt you down! I won’t let this happen again!”

Gyro smiled and wiped away his own tears. “Yes, ma’am. Now, coffee?”

Della beamed. “The expensive kind. You got it.”

“It’s about time,” Manny tapped grumpily in the background, with Huey, Fenton, and Lil’ Bulb adding their agreement, but Della and Gyro ignored them as they flounced out of the lab.They had eleven years of friendship and gossip to catch up on, after all.

{it’s not too late, it was

never too late}

~

woohoo this is a wild ride! i didn’t intend for it to be this long but it just got away from me. Della and Gyro having a friendship, especially before the spear of selene, is one of my favorite headcanons. I think Della would basically grab Gyro and force him to be friends with her and to hang out with her haha.

I have a hard time writing Gyro as mean as he is in canon because I’m a sensitive sweet bean who isn’t creative or socially adept enough to come up with good insults (yet, hopefully). but i’m getting better! i hope this read as somewhat in character. same with Goldie, i’ve been trying to figure out how to write her for two years now sdfghgfds. I think I got Della’s character somewhat down though!

soft Gyro is more of an interpretation (albeit supported by canon) than canon fact but I LOVE it and i’m writing four (counting this) fics based off of it so get ready for that

the title and song lyrics are from People Need a Melody by The Head and the Heart. That song is really special to me because it was my closing song for camp last year (we would sing a song special for each unit each night before bed). I didn’t plan to use this song from the start (the working title was “DR. GYRO GEARLOOSE GET OFF UR ASS AND ANSWER UR PHONE -Della”) - I was listening to it one night, nostalgic for camp, while writing this fic and I realized the lyrics fit!

(also I was on a call for colorguard while I was writing this author’s note and my instructor said “I hear a lot of typing” lol)

[n-ugg]

I didn't expect to get tagged but here we are. As you all will be able to tell in a bit, I am a massive Quackity fan

Thank you for tagging me @skeetlehands!

who is your favourite member on the smp?

Look, I love them all but these have a special place in my heart.

Quackity, Slimecicle (I am fully aware he just joined but I still love him), Schlatt, Tubbo, Eret, AweSamdude, and Ponk.

They're just great in and out of character and just have comforting vibes.

when did you first start watching the smp and what made you get into it?

I gotten in during the Pogtopia era since it took me a while to get access to the streams.

I mainly gotten in with the Sad-ist War animatics along with me trying to catch up on Quackity's VODS. Just someone that I was already familiar with being an easier shift into story and learning others through him

what is your favourite part about watching the smp?

Just watching everyone interact with other and just seeing the plot progress in real time. Its literally just dnd but with extra steps but I enjoy it so much

The improv that they all do is amazing and how everyone have different approaches to their characters makes my writer's side so happy with dissecting everything.

What piece of cursed lore is your favourite

That Wilbur canonically fucked a fish and Philza canonically fucked a Samasung fridge and just seeing the fanbase try to change into something that will at least make a bit more sense.

Im included in this, I basically joined the side that has Sally being a mermaid shapeshifting pirate. Mainly because of pirate Fundy

Who is your favorite duo on the smp

Slimecicle and Ranboo: They're the same person but in different fonts, you can convince me otherwise

Schlatt and Quackity: They managed to be super funny together with all of the jokes and balanced with making a very realistic abusive relationship work. It was always fun seeing them flirt with each other for a joke then get hit with whiplash when canon comes in to remind me that this isnt healthy

Tubbo and Tommy: They're two dumbasses who share the same braincell but then they constantly lose it and Tubbo mainly has custody of it

Wilbur and Schlatt: I just enjoy seeing Schlatt messing with Wilbur and occasionally flirts with him to get Wilbur more pissed off

Who are your comfort streamers

Quackity and Slimecicle are comfort streamers

Eret, Fundy, and AweSamdude are my comfort people (meaning I dont watch them as much but I find comfort in their presence. And the other two are also under this category)

Who is your favorite character

Quackity due to how complex his character is and yet how it looks so simple

Schlatt because is just a villian who knows how to play the game without getting caught

Tubbo, watching him trying to be hopeful with everything destroy around him and he just slowly become used to everything going wrong

AweSamdude because he is just trying his best to be a father figure others and I just got family issues

Who do you think the best actor(s) on the smp

Imma skip over the ones that we all already said and get into the ones that dont get enough praise

Quackity: Just how he managed to make his character seem so basic but in reality its really complex. And just seeing the shift from him being a chaotic force of nature to being a serious character that is trying his best to reach something that has been hanging over his head is just *chefs kiss* and he always delivers amazing lines on the spot.

BadBoyHalo: He is doing great right now, even though he is a bit rusty with starting he still manages to get into character and stay in character the entire time. When slowly easing in, you can tell its a bit forced but once he finds his footing, he knows how to deliver his lines.

AweSamdude: His entire bit where he was getting rescued from the egg fucking hurt. How he sounded weak from the entire thing and tired to where he just wanted to rest was so well. And I know he can act more energetic when he was accidentally dragged into playing a cop during Quackity's and Bad's date

Fundy: You guys need to give him more praise for his acting because he is fucking amazing at it. The little touches to how he voice when speaks is so good along with his body language in game. He knows what he's fucking doing and I love him for that. And when he snapped, it made complete sense if you payed attention to his character

I didnt add Ranboo because he's automatically at the top section due to him being a dnd player. Same goes to Slimecicle even though he hasnt acted yet. I dont make the rules. You play dnd, you know how to act

What are your favorite quotes

I dont have favorite quotes, just dialog heavy scenes.

Before Doomsday, Quackity going to take his horse far away from L'Manberg, it being the one thing he cares about. It was just so good

The entire Schlatt and Quackity argument in front of the white house

The meeting between Schlatt and Quackity with Schlatt yelling out to him in a taunting way to where Tommy and Quackity are trying to figure out what happened to the tnt. I constantly rewatch it to feel the adrinaline pumping to feel something

Wilbur's slow descend into insanity and talking to Tommy. Just showing his paranoia and fears consuming him, him projecting his fears into Tommy as an attempt of manipulation, and his hero complex shift into villian one

Schlatt's winning speech of him projecting it as something that was bound to happen no matter what. The amount of charisma and confidence that was in his voice as I was watching Tommy hiding underground in fear was just a perfect scene

Tommy's argument with Dream when everyone is protecting Tommy. Its the small details of Tommy taunting Dream to kill him, knowing he wont no matter what. Him telling everyone to protect Tubbo and everyone listening without hesitation.

The debate that Quackity and Dream had for like 11 or 14 minutes. All of that was completely unprompted unscripted, it was just so satisfying seeing someone stand up against Dream for the first time and actually beating him. Sure it was in a verble conflict but it still counts as a defeat

Be honest, who do you simp for? (Ayo if anyone says Tommy or Tubbo I will🗡)

Schlatt, Quackity, and Slimecicle

Its pretty obvious, I dont really try to hide it

Whats your favorite stream

Uhhhh I dont exactly have one so none I guess

Whats your least favorite streams

Im sorry, but all of the Jackbox stream. You need a specific group of people to play together in order to actually make it funny and keeping the energy throughout the entire thing.

After a bit later, everyone has a tendency of pandering to the audience and repeat jokes. They managed to beat jokes to the ground faster than Tiktok AND Twitter.

Dont get me started with DreamTeam being in there. They're funny in thier own rights but the shipping jokes get so unfunny so quick and they dont know how bounce off of others well. The only exception to this is when Quackity, Velvet, and Ant were playing with Sapnap and Dream. And thats because they decided to mess with the straight white guys into accidently saying offensive shit and seeing those two suffer with trying tiptoe around was so amusing

Whats something about the smp fandom thay makes you sad

This doesnt get me sad, just frustrated and its mostly towards dsmptok and dsmptwt but sometimes this fandom doesnt fucking know how to analyze characters. Like when everyone jumped on Tubbo on being the bad guy when he was a kid trying to use old tatics that knows that worked before and stand up for himself

How when one person decides to do something that they believe is right, everyone just throws the term villian arc around

When one person does one good thing the suddenly everyone accepts into them being good and not ever looking into it.

For fucks sakes, I saw people keep saying that Quackity was turning into Dream or Wilbur and I just sat there being confused on how they conntected those dots that were in different books.

Its so frustrating to read through. But here on dsmpblr, you guys actually understand character analysis, are able to critique them and able to love whoever you enjoy.

Another thing is how this fanbase really puts everyone on a pedestal or objectify them. Just completely forgetting that they're human and treat the streamer as a character. Like, yeah they're playing up a persona whenever they're making content but theres a difference and you shouldn't hold them up like that.

You cant use the argument of "They're young, they dont know any better", when I first entered my first fandom (I was like 11/12), I fully understood that theres a boundary between me and the creator. What they are on screen is a persona but they're still human and I should treat them as such. Its just something that bugs me and its unnerving to see whenever people start getting wierd about it

Final bit is just how the twitch chat acts. They all force the streamer to follow the 'main' plot of it being Tommy or Techno or whoever the fandom chooses to have a favorite, completely ignoring the fact that they are their own character. No one wants to meta game because where is the fun in that but the fucking chat gets so annoying when the streamer goes against fanfavorite of the week. It drains the fun of it being multiple pov's and different characters.

When Slimecicle was barely starting stream I saw so many people spam "Go with Ranboo" and not let him even get into lore first. I hated that I knew it was coming but it was still so fucking frustrating seeing them try to boss him around. Please just let people live outside of the 'main' plot, not everything revolves around your favorites. Now shut the fuck up and let them play

What about the smp fandom that makes you happy?

The people that create art, animatics, theories, playlist, or write oneshots

All of you creators are great and deserve so much more respect then what the fandom gives you because jesus fucking christ they're all so fucking rude. You guys are the ones that are carrying this fandom on your backs and I fucking respect yall for that

________________

Time for da spead: @nixavia @dambette404 and @mocha-is-lost yall dont need to join.....unless😳😳😳

[halo-jpeg]

Bearable | A Reddie Fanfiction

Read it from the beginning

Chapter 7

"E-Eddie?" Bill's voice, loud and clear, echoed throughout the apartment just loud enough to be heard over the sounds from Eddie's Walkman, "Wuh-wanna come with me down to the p-puh-park?" Hastily, Eddie pulled his headphones from their place atop his head, leaning up on one elbow. His limps felt heavy, his eyes bleary with semi-sleep, a fog shrouding his brain. He was lying in bed, having never gotten out of it since he woke that morning- it was a Friday today, and his Fridays were always void of classes, so instead of getting up and starting his day with Stan and Bill at 7:00 am he had stayed in bed until, well, now- it was just past 5:00.

"Shit," Eddie hissed to himself, clicking 'pause' on his Walkman and setting both it and his headphones aside. He really hadn't meant to stay in bed so late. He hadn't eaten anything yet today, and silently cursed himself for it. He was afraid that he was developing a habit of missing meals; without his mother here to tell him what to do as she used to, he was forgetting all sorts of things. Sonia had been the very best at keeping Eddie on a set schedule, fitting meal times perfectly in between his medication times and getting him out of bed at 6:30 am sharp every morning, even weekends and holidays (which he had hated, but understood). Not having her here was strange- other than food, Eddie found himself forgetting to shower and do his laundry, too. He wouldn't have a single clean outfit if it weren't for his roommates.

"Eddie?" This time it was Stan who called, his voice just on the outside of Eddie's door, snapping him from his thoughts, "Are you dead in there or something?" With three knocks, Eddie called out 'come in!' and the door slipped open. At once, Stan frowned, already knowing that, so far, Eddie had spent his whole day in the same spot and had yet to do anything productive. One could tell by Eddie's disheveled hair and lack of shirt alone. "I'm making you something to eat and then you're coming down to the park with us," He said, his tone flat, leaving no room for argument. With a quick glance over his shoulder (towards where others were most likely waiting) Stan pushed into the room and shut the door behind him, "Come on, what do you want to wear?" As Stanley crossed the room to stop in front of the dresser, Eddie pushed his blankets aside. He felt a little weak, a little dizzy- most likely from the lack of nutrients- and silently cursed himself for losing track of time to such a degree yet again- he wondered how he had done it. With his trashy 12-hour mixtape playing in his ears he must have fallen into some sort of daze.

"Anything's fine," He shrugged, wiping at his eyes with the heels of his hands and then moving to stand at Stan's side so he could dig around his drawers on his own, "How'd your day go?" Stan was passing Eddie subtle, rapid glances, ones that clearly weren't meant to be noticed but were noticed anyways. You didn't have to be a genius to see that Stanley was nervous for Eddie, either his physical or his mental health- both of which were in decent enough places, by the way- and that he was probably desperate to go into some sort of mother mode. Instead of beginning to pester and maybe scold, he replied in a cool, collected voice,

"It was nice. Ben, Beverly and Richie caught me while leaving school," Stan's last Friday class ended at noon, so Ben, Bev and Richie must get out then as well, "and asked me to come down to the café with them." For a brief moment, almost unnoticeable, Eddie froze, and then forced his limbs to continue looking for suitable clothing.

"Ben, Beverly and Richie?" He asked, trying to keep his tone neutral and uncaring, "Are they here too then?" At once, Stan chuckled, shaking his he ad and bumping his elbow gently into Eddie's.

"No, Ed, Richie isn't here." Eddie gawked, startled as a rapid gone-and-then-gone thought shot through his head (how did you know Stan do you suspect that-), and was about to protest (yes, he had been curious about Bev and Ben too- but Richie had been his main curiosity, though he'd sooner die than admit it) but Stan continued before he could, "He and Bev had to work. Maybe we can stop by after the park. Ben's here, though," With a smile and another chuckle Stanley continued talking about his day. He had ordered a coffee, black, as usual, and chattered away with the three others before Beverly and Richie were swept behind the counter. Then, he and Ben had stuck around for a little while until Mike arrived, and then sooner or later Bill as well. Now, Ben, Bill and Stanley were here to gather up Eddie to go bird watching or sight seeing or whatever you called walking around and listening to Stan point and chatter about grackles or crows. Eddie had reached for a sweatshirt and Stan had rapidly shook his head, noting how hot it was outside today and that Eds would cook alive. Instead, he pulled out a short-sleeve button up tee laden with stripes of different colors, reds, yellows, dark blues and whites, along with dark grey jeans that were rolled up just above his ankles. "There," Stan said with a smile as Eddie finished slipping on a pair of white socks, "You look like you haven't been dead all day now." With careful hands, Stan leaned forwards to try and flatten down the mess of Eddie's hair. The shorter boy tried to flinch away with an exasperated groan, but gave in after a moment of fighting and let himself be pestered over. A small, tiny little part of him noted how nice it was to have Stan caring for him like this, how similar it was to the way his mother used to, but he pushed that thought away because he did not want to compare his mother to Stan.

"Thanks, idiot," Eddie grumbled after his hair was finally regulated, bashful and red in the face. The two boys, side by side, caught each other's eyes through the mirror. Stanley smiled, and one hand raised to rest on Eddie's shoulder.

"'Course, Eddie. Come on," He flicked his head, motioning for Eddie to follow, "Let's find you something to eat."

*****

Eddie had been greeted warmly by Ben and Bill, and then promptly fed leftover chicken caesar salad and the tallest glass of water he'd ever had. After he finished his food, a little embarrassed because Stan had been watching him like a hawk to make sure he ate every last bite, the group had left the apartment complex and made towards Back Cove Park, where they now walked side-by-side-by-side-by-side. Truth be told, the endless expanse that was the North Atlantic ocean was breathtaking, and the setting sun lit the rippling waves aflame. Though Back Cove Park was nothing like the Barrens, the footpaths did lead you towards a copse of trees about half the size of the jungle that was back in Derry. It was really nothing in comparison, but with the sound of the waves crashing against the shore no more than 100 feet away from the tree line, you could almost imagine that it was.

"You're going to break something Bill!" Eddie had his hands planted on his hips, face upturned to watch as Bill scaled a spindly pine tree, it's branches spiraling up and up and up and getting thinner with each, "You know the branches get weaker in the fall and winter, right? They could snap out from right under you and you wouldn't even be able to do anything!" Despite Eddie's worrying, Bill continued upwards with a haste that was almost inhuman- he was like a goddamn monkey for Christ's sake, taking his steps two branches at a time and giggling like a child each time something creaked underneath him. At last unable to continue watching (his anxiety was mounting steadily) Eddie spun on his heel and trekked away through the underbrush. Dried leaves crunched underfoot with each step thanks to the soft mulch covering the forest floor, and, if anything, that reminded him of the Barrens the most. In the fall the tangle of bushes and trees would turn orange and red, and then a deep brown, shedding their foliage and creating some sort of crackling sheet not unlike like some musical instrument. Stan and Ben were stood beside one another looking over a wide clearing and chattering about something Eddie couldn't quite piece together.

"But that raises another question," Stan mumbled, tapping his chin with one finger, "How would we get it down here? We don't have a car, and I guess we could bring it all down by hand but that would take a while," Ben straightened up, snapping his fingers as a grin split his face.

"I've got it! Mike's grandpa works at a farm, and I know he's got these big ATVs- Gators, I think they're called. I'm sure he wouldn't mind lending 'em to us for a day or two."

"Lending who what now?" Eddie stepped up on Ben's other side, his curiosity piqued. He glanced over the space before him where the trees thinned out for a good 50 feet and then grew dense once more. The break in the trees let slanted sunrays pass by to bathe the clearing in a golden glow.

"Eddie, perfect!" Ben turned to him with that same beaming smile, "What do you think-" He held out his hands, as if presenting a large project, a masterpiece he was very very proud of, "A clubhouse. No, wait- does that sound, like, lame? I... I don't know, but I've been eyeing this place for a while and I think it would be great to build in. Me and Stanley were talking about digging into the ground and making a sort of... underground hideaway so no, like, park rangers come by and report it. We could have a hidden trapdoor and everything. No one would even know it was there if we got it built fast enough!" Eddie took a brief moment to process, both Ben and Stan staring at him expectantly. Ben's words had come out in such a rush they put Eddie's chatter to shame, and despite his thoughts constantly racing a mile a minute he couldn't seem to comprehend what had been said. Slowly, he pieced together this plan, and then, his mouth dropped open as he fought to find the right words to express his outrage.

"Are you insane? Building a clubhouse in the ground?" A hand raised to pinch at the bridge of his nose, a sigh pressing out of his lungs, "With all the bugs and mold and fungus and shit? It's not safe to be digging around in that! And how would we even make it? As if we know anything about building a whole-ass clubhouse!" Stan's own smile overtook his face and he took a few steps closer.

"That's the thing! The cold will kill all of that gross stuff, and make the ground easy to dig without us getting all caked in mud! Before the snow falls we can have it built and winterized! We'll make it watertight, too! Ben knows how to do all of that!" The way both boys were smiling was reminiscent of two children who had just requested a puppy for Christmas- they were hopeful, pleading, almost- if Eddie said yes to this silly little idea then it would be decided. With Eddie's approval, Bill would think the idea as totally safe, and if Bill agreed then everyone else would too. If they could get Eddie to agree with them, then convincing the others would be easy. "Ben's in architecture, Eddie. He knows all about safety and building- he'll make sure everything goes okay." With a heaving sigh, Eddie let his shoulders sag, a frown on his face. He was reluctant to let this happen, but... well, if he supervised everyone to make sure no one did anything stupid then maybe it would be kind of cool. Maybe. And, if Ben really was in the architecture classes then he must know what he's doing.

"Fine," Two fists pumped into the air and a cheer rang out, "But, if anyone gets hurt, even once, I'm shutting it all down! I'm not letting you all get tetanus or aids from rusty nails and shit like that, okay?"

"We won't, don't worry! Come on," Ben punched Stan gently in the shoulder, "Let's go find Bill." At once, the two sped away, into the trees and in the direction of Bill. Following the crashing and crunching of fallen branches and leaves were their voices, loud and clear in the still, Autumn air, shouting up their crazy idea to Bill who must still be perched in the pine tree much like a bird Stan might find interesting and document in his bird book. With another heavy breath, Eddie turned back to the clearing, and really absorbed the details of the small place he was standing in. He missed the Barrens- the sad attempts at building dams, and even an attempt at building treehouse had been massive failures but they had still been lots of fun. Here in the small forest of Back Cove Park there was no bone-like bamboo to rattle eerily in the wind, calling silent warnings of fictional quick mud and tigers and creating the perfect environment to play jungle hunters. Here, there were no sewer drains spilling greywater into the Kenduskeag, which tumbled endlessly through the woods without restraint. Here, there were no paths trodden by children's feet, no trails flattened by generations and generations of walking and running and sneaking during a game of guns- but maybe, Eddie thinks, that will be okay. A clubhouse. A probably illegal underground clubhouse. It would give Eddie a new place to be, to spend his time. It will be a reason to return to these forests and to create new paths with new people, and maybe those paths will help them all one day just like the familiar ones back in Derry would have carried you away from the wrath of Henry Bowers. As Stan and Ben continued shouting their plan skywards, Eddie let the idea of a clubhouse grow on him just a tiny bit. A bud of excitement, even happiness, settled in the pit of his heart. It was warm and comforting, and he held to it tightly. Maybe this really was a good idea.

*****

By now the sun had set and cast the world into darkness. Though Eddie couldn't read his watch with the lack of light, he had to assume it was at least 9:00 pm and he was still in the forest with his friends; Bill, Ben, Stan and he had cleared some of the leaves from the clearing to expose the tough grass underneath, then Ben had found and rolled the smoothest stones he could find into the place to use as makeshift chairs. Now, the four were sat facing one another, a single flashlight in Bill's hand pointed upwards and casting an ominous too-white light over their faces that dragged shadows underneath their eyes and gave them the appearances of ghosts.

"Wait really? Like, full-on OCD? Not just... being a perfectionist or something? I know a lot of people say they have OCD when they actually don't," Ben was leaned forwards with his elbows on his knees, his steady gaze trained on Stan's who, in turn, had his hands clasped tidily in his lap.

"Yeah," He nodded, his curly hair a mess of bright browns and stark blacks thanks to the lighting, "If that's how you want to put it. I'm taking medication for it and stuff." Stan looked as if he were about to continue when Eddie cut in with a smile on his face,

"I remember one time Stan had come over to my house and I went to the bathroom for like- not even five fucking minutes. I left him in the kitchen and when I came out- oh my God," Eddie was already trying not to laugh, biting at his bottom lip to hold in the string of giggles that threatened to escape him, "He had organized everything. In five minutes! All the slats on my blinds had been straightened, all the dishes had been stacked big to small- the dishes!" Amusement grew in his chest, and he let it out in a sound one might imagine a coked-up chipmunk to make. He raised one hand to let it hover over his mouth, his eyes squinting, "I walked- I walked into the kitchen and caught him turning all my cans to face the front of the shelf!" Bill had cracked his own smile, a wide and toothy grin, and soon Ben had picked it up as well. Eddie wasn't certain why this was suddenly so funny. After being in bed all day his energy had shot through the roof. His laughter only grew and grew as he went on foretelling his story, his eyes beginning to glisten and his chest threatening to hurt. He didn't have his inhaler, but the slight concern he felt at that thought was quickly smothered by another wave of cackling, "I- I-I went hey! and he spun on his heel, his face all red- it- it was-" Eddie squeezed his eyes shut, his face hurting with his mirth, "He had a can of- of corn and- when he spun around he tip-" Through gasps for breath, wheezes that left him dizzy, he forced out, "He tipped over everything else on the shelf, too! All his hard work- like dominoes! Oh my God my mom was pissed! Stan was so- he looked like he was gonna die!" At last, Eddie couldn't hold himself together any longer. His amusement was contagious, and throughout the course of the story Bill and Ben had grown giddy all the same. Now, the three were howling, heads tipped back, rocking back and forth and fighting to get ahold of themselves while Stan on sat bashfully, a grin on his face. Briefly Eddie wondered why this felt so goddamn funny but found he didn't care.

"It was... I felt horrible," Stan had to raise his voice to be heard over the laughter of the three, his face visibly reddening even in the weak light, "Canned foods are expensive, and I didn't have the money to reimburse her or anything!" The howling laughter didn't cease, and, well, Stan decided that maybe this situation was funny enough to let himself laugh. His grin cracked wide and now he was giggling all the same, all flushed and breathless just like anyone else. Eddie was nearing physical pain but wow was that feeling fantastic. A good hard laugh was something rare to him and he always tried to soak in the moment when it arrived. His lungs burned, his head throbbed, and his eyes spat tears down his face. He glanced at Bill through bleary, slotted eyes and then at Stan and then at Ben, who were all laughing just the same, giddy off the feeling of being with one another. That feeling was just like when Eddie was with Stan and Bill, but amplified now that Ben was here too. That feeling was fantastic- That feeling was cut abruptly and Eddie shrieked like a madman as a sudden hand shot around his shoulders- all of a sudden, just like that, he was being pulled backwards into something, into someone- an arm around his throat in a chokehold threatening and dangerous and memories bad memories Henry Bowers and bullies and-

"Ooooooh looks like somebody Got Off A Good One!!" A fist was pressed into the top of his head and the sudden spurt of panic was gone again all at once- that giddy, light, precious hilarity returned and so did Eddie's grin as Richie trapped him in his arm and gave him a harsh noogie. It burned and Eddie didn't care as Richie continued off with that stupid MovieTone Newsreel Announcer voice, "Yowza, Eds, just YOW-za! You've got the stuff, kid, you've got the stuff for live theater! Sign right here on this dotted line and I'll get you on a stage! You'll make it big I know you will-!"

"Get off, Richie!! Beep fucking beep!" Eddie was giggling again, clawing at Richie's arms as tears streamed from his eyes, "Let me- Let me go!" He kicked and thrashed, writhing as a chorus of laughter continued on bright and bouncing. Somehow Eddie managed to wriggle free like a fish, and then he was rocketing up and bursting into a run as Richie reached to trap him again. He leaped from his seat on the rock, smiling from ear to ear- just as he had gained his freedom he saw Richie reaching to capture him once more but Eddie wouldn't let that happen. He glanced a single time over his shoulder to see Richie's own warm grin- that split second of time, no more than a heartbeat as Eddie's eyes locked with Richie's in a silent challenge, Eddie saw what was most likely the greatest thing he ever would. Richie's glasses were gently lit by the harsh LED from the flashlight- underneath the stupid coke bottles perched on his nose, Eddie could see the deep brown tone of his eyes and the way his smile pinched them gently in the corners. His teeth were miraculously straight, as if he'd had braces at some point in his life, and his cheeks wore a high flush. Eddie's head snapped forwards again and he set off into the forest, the darkness, hearing Richie's voice echoing behind him.

"I'll git ya Spaghetti! I'll git ya good 'n then I'll wrap y'up like a big 'ole presen', put ya undah my tree!" The New Yorker's accent rang through the trees with an almost surreal undertone, sending a shiver down Eddie's spine. Exhilaration ripped through him, lighting his veins aflame with a shaky happy-fear he didn't quite know how to explain. He was letting out little squeaky sounds, things like giggles of terror but he wasn't scared in the slightest. His chest was swelling with an almost-sick feeling, but it was a good kind of almost-sick. The emotion was confusing but reminded him strongly of childhood and he accepted it with open arms. As he crashed haphazardly through the undergrowth, eyes strained in the darkness, Eddie wasn't concerned in the slightest for what he might be pushing through- poison ivy, thorn bushes- shit, he could walk right over a corpse and he wouldn't be afraid for his health! Though certain he was not being too quiet, Richie was being even louder. Eddie had the upper hand here thanks to his significantly smaller, less gangly, more agile frame and also his ability not to be a big lumbering goofball every second of the day. Wyatt the Homicidal Bag-Boy was gone, and Richie was back in his place with his crooning, teasing, playful voice, "Eddie, my love! Come out come out wherever you are!"

Eddie's stomach did a weird little backflip, probably a symptom of his excitement as he decided that he was far enough away to start searching for a hiding spot. Years and years of hide-and-go-seek experience came flooding back to him, and he bit at his bottom lip to stop from making a single sound. He dropped into a crouch, scanning his surroundings in a flash; the darkness made it difficult to navigate, especially since everything was so unfamiliar as of now, but Eddie could work just fine with the silhouettes of trees and bushes. The beam from the flashlight danced through the trees, bobbing and waving around as Richie blundered closer by the second. Cheater, you shouldn't get a light, Eddie thought and then almost let out a bubble of laughter driven by his own delirium- he reached out a hand and brushed the brittle, hardened leaves of a bush, crawling immediately closer and trapping one between his fingers. Rubbing the surface rapidly, he deducted that it wasn't poison ivy (which had an oily feel, even when the leaves were dried) and used both hands to part the branches and skitter right through. He kept his head low, his shoulders and elbows tucked in with an expertise you could only get form having done this a billion times already. Hiding places like these were Eddie's specialty- this bush was small with tight-packed branches, but he was smaller and could fit just fine, whereas someone lankier like Bill or Stan would not stand a chance.

"Come ooooon Spaghetti-man!" Richie called out in a sing-song voice, only about 100 feet away, "If you don't come out right this instant I might just have to lure you, and trust me, you don't want that! My singing is just i-rre-sis-tible!" Eddie patted around him, finding a smooth, round stone about the size of a golf ball and clutching it tightly. Risking his spot just for a moment, he slid his front half out and pulled his arm back- then, with as much force as possible, he sent the rock flying. If everything had gone according to plan, the rock would have flown far and called Richie's attention away; that would have allowed Eddie to scurry back to the others with a smug smile to wait for the Trashmouth to give up and return to see him sitting proudly. Sadly, everything did not go according to plan, and the stone barely made it 10 feet. Eddie's throwing hand wasn't horrible- he considered himself rather strong for his size- but his vision sure was, and the rock collided with a thin, wiry tree and went clattering into the brittle leaves before making any great distance. At once, the beam of the flashlight went whipping towards the sound, and Eddie felt his heart leap into his throat. That almost-sick feeling went waving through him again as he shot back into the bushes and curled his knees into his chest, slapping a hand over his mouth. Through his mind ran the word shit shit shit shit shit shit shit shit but he was grinning like an idiot and trembling lightly with stifled howling. The flashlight clicked off- now, total darkness ruled the world.

"Heeeeeeeeeere Eddie Eddie Eddie!" Richie's voice was like a breath of wind, far-off and terrifying. Eddie balled his hands into fists and bit down on the knuckles of his left, the right one wrapped tight around his knees to hold them as close, as out of sight, as possible, "Why are you hiding from me like this?" That was the last thing Richie said- the silence that followed was stifling. Far off, Eddie could hear the voices of his other friends, Bev's dancing titter was familiar now, as was the powerful tone of Mike's. All seven of them were here in the forest right now. Following that realization was another wave of childish glee, along with a swell of affection that was there and gone in an instant. Who knew Richie could move so silently? Not a single breeze stirred the branches, and not a leaf crunched under the sole of a sneaker. Eddie's own rapid breathing sounded much too loud, and he wouldn't be surprised if the thudding of his heart was as noisy as the beat of a drum. Anticipation, cold, crept up his spine and fed him a sudden alertness. It felt as if the world had brightened for a second, as if his eyes had sharpened and began to see crystal clear just for a blink. The outline of unruly hair, a mass of it, was suddenly discernable from the shape of the nature. Richie's head was bent, half-kneeling, and he was slinking around like a ninja. It was only for a brief moment that Eddie could see him before he was gone again, swallowed by the shadow, but he had been much, much closer than before- Eddie bit into his knuckle a little harder, afraid he would let out a squeak like a mouse.

The quiet seemed endless. Time lost all meaning. If it weren't for those far-off voices, Eddie would have been convinced that time might have frozen entirely. The air was cool and fresh, warmed to a pleasant bite and not the bitter iciness it would have been otherwise thanks to the days sunniness. Through the leaves blocking the sky Eddie could see faint glittering stars, but the pollution from the Portland lights almost smothered them entirely. It was fascinating to him- back in Derry, the stars had been crisp, clear, displaying their constellations with pride. Now, here, it was the polar opposite. Curious. Somewhere an owl hooted and Eddie jumped. Leaves crumbled beneath him- a twig snapped under one heel. He didn't even have time to register that he had made a noise.

"Eddie!!!" Eddie shrieked, a total screech, ear-splitting, blood-curdling, horrific enough to freeze the blood in your veins. Hands plunged through the foliage and then he was being dragged out by the arms, yanked to his feet and then swept right off of them as he was thrown over a shoulder. "Sure an' begorahh! I caught me-self a boyo, an' a foine one at that!"

"Richie! Richie!" Eddie was squealing as a hand wrapped tightly, securely around his waist, and then Richie was spinning, twirling Eddie with him in endless dizzying circles that brought out that bubbling fountain of laughter once more. "Richie no- no, put me down- Richie!!"

"I caught me-self a boyo! A foine, foine boyo!" Richie picked up a tune to his words, some improvised nothing-ness that was too, too funny. He began to dance, prancing around on light feet and rocking Eddie all around as he sang his words. "I caught me-self an Eddie!" Eddie's lungs were hurting again because of his lack of breath, tears rolling down his face in steady streams. Richie was laughing too and the sound of it made Eddie's stomach do it's little backflip yet again. His laughter was hearty, loud, the sound of someone who was entirely happy with life and all of it's wonders. The spinning didn't stop until Richie almost stumbled, stomping down on his shoelace and drawing out another cry from Eddie as he almost went to the ground. "Wooooah! Sorr-ee 'bout tha', Spaghe-i-man, rough rough wa-ers it be!" Richie took on the voice of a sea captain, dragging up the image of an old man with a peg-leg and a pipe hanging from a mouth full of golden teeth. Eddie was laughing only harder.

"Put me down you fucker! Let me- let me go!" Eddie began to pound on his back with his fists, and at last that flashlight clicked on again. The light was blinding after the absence of it, but Eddie couldn't care less. He was on cloud nine.

"Something tells me you wanna stay up there, Eds! Something tells me you- you wanna stay where you can see the whole world!" Richie took one more grand spin, a pirouette that would put a beginner ballerina to shame. It would have been impressive if Eddie hadn't had his eyes screwed shut to stop the flow of tears.

"Fuck you, Tozier! Let me down!" Alas, Tozier didn't comply. Instead, he began to hum the tune of 'Here Comes the Bride' as he took overdramatic, high-kneed steps towards the direction of the others- the hand that isn't wrapped tightly around Eddie's waist moves up to capture his legs, which had begun to kick and had almost knocked him right in the glasses.

"Watch the toes, Eds, you don't want to knock out these pearly whites, do you?"

"That's what I'm fucking going for you jackass!" Eddie brought his elbow back into the back of Richie's head, knocking it forwards with a dull thud and an 'oof!'.

"Oh-ho, you're in for it now, Eds! You asked for it!" And then, Richie began to tickle. Eddie felt his heart stop, and then begin to thud much too quickly. He could handle teasing and carrying and stupid singing but tickling- oh no, he didn't have the breath to deal with that. He was howling again, curling instinctively in on himself as much as he possibly could- which wasn't a lot, since he was tossed over Richie's shoulder and locked into place. Fingers jabbed and poked at his ribs, his sides, and he was in pure hysterics.

"No- No no no Richie Richie stop! Stop it stop it ohmygodRichieRichieRICHIE-" Eddie no longer had any breath. His screaming laughter had halted, now no more than painful wheezes. Tears soaked his face, soaked the back of Richie's shirt, and his cheeks were a bright beaming red. He wanted to scream at Richie to stop, to let him be, to please please spare him but oh my GOD he couldn't take it- Richie's hand pulled away and Eddie sucked in a heaving breath, his chest pulsing with each and every one as the lasts of his laughter forced it's way out. He felt like he was suffocating and for once it wasn't because he didn't have his inhaler.

"There," Richie said, the smug grin basically audible in his voice, "That'll teach you, Eds. No more elbowing!" Just to defy him, Eddie bumped him in the back of the head again- and then instantly regretted it as he felt Richie shift to tickle-attack him again.

"No! No no I'm sorry it was a joke-" Richie's own laughing burst out, and the hand dropped as he nearly doubled over. The tickling hand went to rest on his knee, and now he was the one howling away, that jovial sound echoing around the trees with a dream-like authenticity. It was bliss.

"Oh, Eddie, Christ you're just- you're a hoot!" Richie spoke as best he could through his growing breathlessness, and finally put Eddie down back onto solid ground, though the shorter boys knees wobbled as his own dizziness held strong. The two boys fell apart beside one another, grinning and sobbing and cackling like maniacs, fighting just to stay upright as their contentedness fed off of one another and radiated in warm, yellow rays. Minutes passed, more than 10, before either boy could regather themselves. Surprisingly, Richie was the first to go silent and manage to catch his breath- and then, just as Eddie did the same, the tone shifted, growing warmer yet. Eddie's eyes raised, locking with Richie's own. The Trashmouth wore his toothy smile, his eyes crinkled in the corners, bright as stars behind those coke-bottle glasses. Something heavy settled around them, something Eddie had never felt before and didn't recognize. Richie's head tilted, and the smile fell into something smaller, more serene, and yet almost ten times prettier. "I like the sound of your laugh, Eds." His voice was uncharacteristically sincere, and it took Eddie by surprise. The sudden flat tone was dripping with... affection? He wanted to answer, to say something back like 'Yours is nice too' or 'I like the sound of you shutting up' or anything at all, but before he could piece together a coherent phrase Richie was moving again. "Come on," He grabbed Eddie's hand- no, more like his wrist, and with no intent other than to guide him- and began to head back in the direction of the others, "I'm sure they'll want their light back."

Eddie's face was warm and red, and he had seemed to lose his voice. He felt like he was glowing with a soft light- and he felt like Richie was doing the same. He had never, ever laughed like that before. He had never, ever felt that free and normal and human. There was no voice of Sonia Kaspbrak, no warnings of broken necks or arms or noses, no shouting over bugs and thorns and rashes. For those last minutes, Eddie Kaspbrak had been just that- Eddie Kaspbrak. For once in his life he had not been Eddie Kaspbrak, son of Sonia Kaspbrak. He had just been himself. With Richie's hand around his wrist, dragging him, he wanted nothing more than to relive that moment forever and ever. If he died right now and went to heaven, he was certain that those moments alone with Richie would be what heaven was. The sound of his stupid, goofy laugh, the soft, almost manic dancing of those big, brown eyes, that lanky arm around his waist- that is what heaven was. Eddie found himself wanting to go back in time. The two arrived back with the others.

[lannee]

even my phone misses your call (by the way) - part 1

jo yeong x koo seo ryeong fanfic

AO3: link

_

It’s only 9:30 and the Prime Minister is already on the verge to implode.

If she has to endure another unnecessarily stupid conversation with the men existed within 10m of her seat, she might truly lose it. So she shuts them up, and walks towards the door. She can hear it vividly in the air, through the look in their eyes, “What a cocky brat, leaving again in the middle of an important meeting, with so many elite people twice her age”. As if she actually cares, as if she has the time to ponder over whatever nasty things they think of her.

She gave up doing that years ago. Koo Seo Ryeong did not crawl her way out of a fish market and become the youngest female Prime Minister of Corea to put up with some 60 year old men’s bullshit. So of course she leaves, whispering death threats to Secretary Kim for not doing his job properly and forcing her to attend another useless meeting that can just be a goddamn report on her table.

Back to the office, she walks straight to her private balcony after taking out a pack of cigarettes she secretly keeps in the room. Seo Ryeong is not a regular smoker, not silly enough to sustain an addictive habit that can damage her impeccable skin. But here she is, stressed out of her mind, holding the lighter so very close she can almost feel the nicotine coming in like waves. Then out of nowhere, she thinks of him.

She thinks of 20 year old Jo Yeong, to be exact. Standing in front of her under the heavy July rain while carefully taking the cigarette out of her soft lips. Jo Yeong with his navy umbrella. Always managed to find her at her worst, always be there next to her without saying anything because words were usually wasted when you talked to Koo Seo Ryeong.

God, he really ruins cigarettes for her. She throws the whole pack into the trash bin along with the one on her lips.

She hates him so much, it almost makes her want to see him just to say that to his face.

But they do not do things like that anymore.

_

When Yeong passed the entrance exam of Corea National University, Seo Ryeong was books deep into her Master degree in Political Science and International Relations. He instantly became popular in the campus for being the King’s closest friend, with rumors about him floating around every lecture that she attended. She studied with Lee Gon for years and never met him or his friends outside, but whenever they talked he always mentioned Yeong’s name and stories about what they did together in the palace.

She listened tentatively to everything he said not because she had a huge crush on him and wanted to be his Queen, as every jealous fangirl in the campus always thought of her, but because she needed to know every deep dark secret of the King of Corea. She knew it would tremendously help her career as a politician in the future. That was the reason why she followed him around like an innocent puppy, the pretty girl with a lovely figure who came from the dirty market and scored the highest grade on the insanely difficult entrance exam. She beat out Gon fair and square, sometimes late at night she even dreamed about taking the throne of his to herself. If people knew about her thoughts, they would laugh at her and spit on her face but frankly, she thought if she wanted it enough, she could be the Queen of Corea. With or without Gon by her side.

When Gon introduced Yeong to her for the first time, she could not read his face at all. She was used to be so good at knowing people after the first meeting, but Yeong stirred her curiosity and she felt strangely intrigued by him. Maybe it was because he did not talk much, he had an incredibly calm expression and most of the times he only looked at Gon. He acted like a well-trained bodyguard around the King, which she found quite hilarious. Gon already had an army walking around him every step, and with Yeong by his side it felt even impossible to her how she could still hang out with them so casually. She and Gon both knew they worked perfectly together as a team. Even when they had zero interest in each other romantically, she earned her place to be by his side and let’s be honest, he would never pass any group project without her insights and intelligence. It took Yeong a while to understand this, he was always careful and silent when she was around. She could feel him trying to crack her facade, as if he was able to see through her 10 year plan of becoming the Prime Minister of Corea.

He did not trust her, and it annoyed her how she cared about that more than she thought.

-

It started out with Seo Ryeong simply wanting to earn Yeong’s approval. She tried to ask him personal questions, which he only gave out vague answers that did not satisfy her at all. They even went together to a few field trips exclusively for the university’s top students, and girls followed him around all day hopelessly asking for his phone number. Sometimes he intentionally tried to find Seo Ryeong and asked her to go out for a walk in order to escape their horny fellow students. Everybody seemed to be intimidated whenever they saw her. She made fun of him every single time, “How desperate you are to come to me for help”. Gon never went with them on those trips due to security reasons, obviously. It surprised her how much she enjoyed having Yeong all for herself. He bought her food after their walk and one time somehow they ended up drinking beer together in Gyeongju. He told her about his family, mostly to subdue the awkwardness between them, and even asked her about things she never cared to share with anyone. They were both not a fan of getting deep and personal, their stories ended quickly and strangely left her longing for more. She did not know how to talk to him without sounding premeditated. Only with him did she feel like maybe she was not good enough. Maybe she needed to live life differently, to drop the act and let him see all of her calculations.

That was when she unknowingly started flirting with him a bit. She tried that with Gon years ago until they both realized the true intention of being in each other’s life. Then she did it with Yeong because there seemed to be no other way to get closer to him, she was kind of impatient and definitely not herself. She started drinking a lot around that time because of all the essays she had to write, relationships with important people she had to maintain while staying alert around Yeong and waiting for him to be under her control.

A week before she submitted her final thesis, she did the most stupidly cliche thing ever, and that was drunk calling Jo Yeong while she was out drinking alone. She was fed up with reading and writing and living alone in the city. Most nights she could not sleep peacefully and had no idea when the last time she ate a proper meal. So she drove to the closest bar she could find and drank half a bottle of expensive whiskey which would cost a lot of the money that she made working part time. She counted in her head how many days were left before she could stop with the pretentious studying and actually start working on her long overdue plans. Five glasses led to nine, then some guys came over offering to buy her drinks. She remembered being sober enough to drop mean words and scare most of them away. One guy stuck around for so long and was shamelessly insistent about bringing her home, she had to pull the boyfriend-coming-here-very-soon card. She knew she was completely intoxicated when she pressed his name on her phone. There was no way she would come out of the bar safely if she didn’t call someone she could trust.

“Noona, it’s 2 AM. What’s going on?”, he picked up after a few seconds and said boringly. Like he was about to fall asleep but she appeared out of nowhere and prevented that from happening.

She chuckled, regretting whatever she was doing in the back of her mind, “I don’t know, why don’t you come here and find out?”

“And where are you exactly?”, he signed.

She told him the address, and imagined him wondering why he even answered her call. She was so drunk, the thought of him not coming at all actually scared her. The guy next to Seo Ryeong kept on persuading her to go with him, to leave her fictitious boyfriend behind and stop acting hard to get. She laughed in disgust without batting an eye and continued drinking. The funny thing was none of the guys dared to touch her for too long, she guessed she had that kind of power. Time passed slowly and she was convinced Yeong did not care enough to drive all the way here from the palace to deal with someone he never really trusted. So when he called out her name from behind, she almost fell from the stool where she was sitting. Then everything suddenly happened too quick, too fast.

Yeong held her upright, one hand caressing her face, the other tugging her messy hair behind her ears. He asked for the bill and paid for it. She leaned her head on his chest during the whole card transaction, when he had to sign the bill his arms surrounded her. He was wearing a black linen shirt and dark jeans. Did he always smell this good? She buried her face in his neck absentmindedly and inhaled his scent. She could feel Yeong stopped abruptly in the middle of asking the bartender about something related to her drunken state. He wanted to know if she was alone the whole time, and she kind of imagined him not wanting any guy near her. Then he carried her out the front door, the early summer heat was suffocating and she told him she wanted to lie down somewhere. He quickly put her on the passenger seat of his car and she tugged on his shirt to pull him closer while he was trying to secure the seatbelt.

Seo Ryeong woke up in the morning with the worst headache ever. Her room smelled faintly of vomit. She panicked for exactly 10 seconds while everything from the night before flashing through her mind. She did not remember anything at all after entering Yeong’s car. She still wore the same clothes from last night, covered by her warm blanket. Her room seemed pretty clean, maybe he helped her to the bathroom before she made a mess of herself... For the first time in her life, she wanted to end her existence right there. While trying to grab the phone she saw a bottle of hangover cure on her bedside table. There was a text from him, sent 2 hours ago, “Drink it, cook some soup, text me when you’re awake.”

Could a heart ever get swollen? Because it felt like hers kind of did. She prayed to all the Gods above she did not say anything stupid to him during the drive home.

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it’s been awhile since i wrote a fanfic. i didn’t know i needed to write a fanfic for these 2 incredible characters until i read this by @rain-hat​ - thank you for inspiring me dear. writing this is fun because i kind of know they’ll never be canon lmao. so i just went wild with my imagination. i’ll post part 2 maybe this weekend after the new episodes come out. hopefully there will be some scenes of them together. i literally only watch Eun Chae and Do Hwan’s scenes and skip the rest of this drama. please tell me i’m not the only one! 

title is from From the dining table - my fav song by Harry <3

hope you enjoy this!