#i really doubt anyone would be there to accept even if they won

[copia]

had to leave the heavy music awards after only 1 award announcement that sleep token were nominated for; obviously the whole show was incredible but if sleep token have anything planned for a possible win later and i could have been there to see it if i'd stayed another hour ... i will be distraught

[deathbxnny]

*Yanqing angst lurker sneaks in*

Congrats on the followers.

May I please request Yanqing and Jing Yuan Headcannons with an S/O who came from a planet that the Xianzhou ravaged/killed? Like, their planet received Yaoshi’s blessing and were healed (still going to die of old age, but not in a painful way) but then these massive ships came down from the sky and killed their people? Their people, who were farmers and weavers and storytellers who stood no chance of fighting back.

The absolute betrayal they feel when they learn that their partner took pride in that?

Oof, imma break that boys heart.

(They don’t plan to hurt anyone on the Xianzhou. They literally just trying to live with the trauma and survivors guilt.)

Oooh I really love this idea, Anon!! Thank you for the request and I hope you'll like this!<33

Content: Heavy angst, talks of vague trauma regarding survivors guilt, non-descriptive genocide, hurt/no comfort, established relationships, break ups?, sfw

Reader has no set pronouns!!

((Not proofread))

》YANQING

You tried your best to tell yourself that Yanqing would never feel pride in your people's genocide. You were so awfully desperate to believe in it, despite never having the courage to ask him directly. He was so proud of who he was and what the Luofu stood for. You knew it was foolish in the end to wish he'd think what happened was wrong... but somehow, you still felt shocked and heartbroken when he expressed his pride.

He didn't know any better, it's just how he was raised, you reasoned again, and yet your rage came as a surprise to the both of you. Perhaps it was because you were sick of hiding who you were in fear, the terror and guilt all consuming as you attempted to bury it within you with whatever was left of your past identity. It hurt to be a human when it was stripped from you the second your peaceful planet became the enemy.

Yanqing was shocked by your outburst, of course, all pride melting off his shoulders in horror. He never expected this from you, and most importantly, he never expected his own s/o to be a part of the enemies he was taught to hate so much. It pulled the veil of deceit off his head and made him question everything he had ever been told. Who was the real enemy here? It broke him to realise that the Luofu had actually done something wrong. He never thought that that was possible.

He watches you run off crying, his body frozen in fear from the betrayal and uncertainty of what to do with himself now that he knew the truth. Yanqing doesn't follow you immediately, mainly because he'll be too ashamed to show his face around you. He felt disgusted with himself and therefore takes a while to reflect on his and his people's actions, which eventually leads him to go question the general with a certain air of vengeance for the lies he'd been told.

He'd accept you breaking up with him with a heavy heart, knowing that it was ultimately for the best. Yanqing would never tell anyone about your identity, deciding that he'd simply atone and, in turn, protect the last person from an innocent planet they had wronged as a form of self punishment. He understands your pain and vows to wait for you, even if you'll never forgive him.

》JING YUAN

The general was proud of himself and the Luofu for all it stood no matter what. Every battle he was in, whether won or lost, he wore on his chest proudly all the same. With that said, I still doubt he'd agree with a complete genocide of a planet, even if he publicly would have to. And he knew what you were from the day he met you as well. Not that he let you know that.

His guilt only slowly developed over time for what he believed was a horribly wrong act against people who couldn't even defend themselves. But the worst of it was seeing the effect it had on you, the person he loved more than life itself. He had sworn his soul to you, and yet there was something so twisted with how he had to stand so tall and string for the decisions of his own people. He was disgusted with it way more than anyone would expect him to be. It made him near self-deprecating.

He was waiting for your outburst, for you to finally explode and tell him how much you hated him and his people. He acknowledged that your people accepted the blessing out of necessity and who could blame you in the end? You did what was best for you, even if it was deemed as wrong. But despite knowing all that, he still stayed to be a hypocrite when you did finally yell and scream at him in rage over making an insensitive comment at a dinner gathering.

He doesn't go after you when you break off the relationship, his heart aching for him to move, to chase you down, and plead for forgiveness. But this was all a part of his plan. He wanted you to leave the Luofu and go somewhere where you could be happier, where you wouldn't be reminded of your pain every day. Even if it was without him.

Your identity is a secret, one not even the worst torture could get out of him. He may be betraying his own people now as well, but as you leave him behind in his office, he comes to the realization that he was used to it by now.

Alrighttt... I hope this was okay, Anon!! I made it super angsty, but it also just fit too well. Thank you again for the request btw!!

[whatsk-poppinhomies]

Pairing : Lee Minho x F!Reader x Bangchan TW : lots of arguing ; just a lot of angst ; also the baby is born but there's no time for going into detail ; it's all angst ; it’s another cliffhanger :’) ; Word Count : 5.4k Request : A lot, it's been requested a lot! AN : It won the poll, it's time for part two. IS THIS THE ANGST THAT YOU WANTED!?!?!? IS THIS WHAT YOU ALL WERE WAITING FOR?!?! I LOVE ALL OF YOU SM!

Things were silent… Maybe too silent, eerily even, but you attributed it to the fact that the guys had a comeback coming up and they were just too busy pretending that everything was okay so that the press and the fans wouldn’t come up with their own speculations and rumors. No one thought anything of the fact that the choreographer planned every single dance to keep Minho as far away from Chan as possible. No one even realized it. The tension that was felt between the two, the looks that they’d give each other, either no one picked up on it, or they just thought it was part of the bad boy concept that they had right now. You knew… The other guys knew, everyone that was close to them knew what was really going on… But no one knew just how bad it could get. 

“I’ve gone to my lawyer.” Minho snarkily remarked as he walked past Chan. The comeback was done, they had done great, they had amassed multiple rewards, and reality was finally setting back in for the two of them. “I just thought that I’d let you know so that you can’t flake out on the hearing under the pretense that you didn’t know anything about it. I’m telling you right now, it’s going to court.” 

It was becoming enough for Chan, it had become enough the day that Minho had come to your house and upset you, but now it was going too far. “Why can’t you leave well enough alone? What are you trying to gain from this? She’ll never take you back, you need to accept that and move on with your life.” Always the peacekeeper unless he had no other choice, Chan tried to keep his emotions in check and under control. You were getting further along in your pregnancy and the last thing that you needed was another situation like before to stress you out. 

“I’m not the kind of man that’ll sit by and watch another man raise my child, especially my daughter. I have values.” He stated as if it were a well known fact, but Chan could only laugh, the loud snort sounding out in the studio at the proclamation. “I hope you don’t get too attached…” Minho continued, completely ignoring Chans cackling. “If you and Y/N won’t let me see her, and if Y/N won’t take me back… I’ll just fight for full custody.” 

That statement had Chan choking on his own breath as he inhaled sharply, his eyes widening to look up at Minho. “You’re joking? Tell me you’re joking. That’s fucking evil, even for you. You’d really be petty enough to take away Y/N’s child just because she won’t get back with you?” But the only response Minho gave was a coy smile as he slowly backed out of the room. “I won’t let that happen…” 

“You’ve got a couple more months to think about it… To let her know. What’s more important to her?” It would be a double edged sword, no doubt about it. It was the most vicious ultimatum, and Chan didn’t think that anyone would be low enough to do something like that, to threaten someone with something like that, but clearly Minho was lower than the average person when he strived to get what he wanted. 

“Fuck…” Chan mumbled, leaning back in his chair, his hands over his face as he tried to think about what to do. This wasn’t something that he could just bring up to you in casual conversation. You were in a fragile state, the smallest thing could work you up, and this was not a small thing. This was too much for even Chan to handle, he didn’t know what to do, but he knew that he needed to let you know. He wasn’t going to lose his daughter, and he surely wasn’t going to lose you. 

“You’re home early. I thought you were at the studio?” You spoke from the kitchen, clicking off the burner, and before Chan had even finished taking off his shoes, you were waddling over to him. “What’s wrong?” You deadpanned, and Chan thought that he was hiding his emotions well, but you could read him like a book, it was something that he loved about you, but right now, he wished that he could have just let you eat your dinner in peace before dropping the bomb. 

“Nothing, darling. Just stressed about a new song.” He lied, fingers crossed in the sleeve of his jacket as he took it off, hoping that you’d believe him. “Come, eat your dinner, I’ll tell you all about it.” He smiled at you, but he could see the suspicion in your eyes, but you let him lead you to the kitchen, pulling out your chair for you and waiting for you to sit down before plating up the food you had been cooking. “My girls are hungry, yeah?” 

“Christopher…” You said his name sternly, yet still graciously accepted the plate he put in front of you, giving him a smile of appreciation before letting it drop and watching him take the seat across from you. “I’ve seen you stressed from working on new songs… That isn’t what this is. Be honest with me, please? Is it something I need to know? Is it about… him?” Him… He who shall not be named… Minhos name hadn’t been spoken in your house since that day he came over. You looked at it as a bad omen, like if you said it, he’d show up. 

“Please eat first…” Chan responded softly, using his own fork to pick up the food on your plate and bring it to your lips, and even while stressed, he gave himself a small second to adore the way your eyes rolled yet your mouth still opened for the food. “I’ll tell you all about it, but I want to hear about your day first. How are you feeling? How’s our girl?” 

You sighed, leaning back in your chair and running your hands over your stomach. “I got another stretch mark today…” You mused, although your nose scrunched up while saying it. You hated the stretch marks, but Chan thought they were beautiful, just another sign to show how amazing you were. “She’s been kicking around a lot… I think she’s trying to break out.” 

He chuckled lightly, thankful for the small talk, thankful for these little images that your words filled his mind with momentarily to take his mind off of what was bothering him. “Ah, it’s getting a little too cramped in there for baby girl, isn’t it?” He joked, and your eyes lifted up with your smile as you nodded in agreement. “Just two more months and she’ll be home, free to kick about as much as she likes.” 

“Two months…” You said, almost dreamily, your head tilting to the side, and he could tell that you were picturing it, the way your eyes sparkled and your hands absentmindedly continued to rub over your stomach. “I know she can’t wait to meet you… Every time she hears your voice she starts moving more. I think she’s just as excited as you are.” 

Hearing you say that should have had him even more excited, but now his heart sank as what Minho said earlier replayed in his mind. How was he even supposed to begin telling you? How could he look you in the eye and completely shatter those dreams that fluttered like butterflies in your beautiful mind? “About… that…” Chan said softly, nervously, his head dropping. He didn’t want to see you cry, he couldn’t. “Mi…- He… Came to see me at the studio today…” He felt the floor begin to vibrate as your knee bounced, anxiously waiting for him to finish saying it. “He’s taking it to court… He said that… If you won’t get back with him… Or if you won’t let him see her… He’ll fight for full custody.” 

You were completely frozen and Chan worried, he worried about what you might think, what you might do. Would you try to run? Try to hide? He couldn’t let you do that. “I guess… We’ll just have to… Get our own lawyer then?” You whispered, your voice cracking with each word, your eyes turning up to the ceiling as your teeth came down on your bottom lip. You were trying not to cry, and Chan realized at that moment that he might have disliked the sight of you actually crying, but he really hated the sight of you trying to hold it back. 

“Darling… I promise… I swear… He won’t win. Our daughter is going to be here with us, and I’ll be here too.” He reached across the table to grab your hands that sat loosely on his own. You were too far in your own thoughts now, so far that he couldn’t pull you back out, not yet. “How about we finish our dinner, and then we can watch the new episode of that show you love… Hm? How’s that sound?” 

Your shoulders shrugged, your eyes downcast now as you twirled your thumbs. “I’m not very hungry anymore…” You mumbled, pushing yourself away from the table and getting up. “I think I just… I just want to go to sleep. I’m tired…” You pressed a kiss to the top of Chans head, and he could just feel it, radiating off of you, the way you slouched over and walked so slowly, yet so heavily towards the bedroom. You were devastated, you were scared, and that made him want to fight harder to keep his family together. 

///

“Christina Chana Bang, Stray Kids leader, Bangchans daughter's birth was announced today by JYPE…” The headline was longer than that, but Minho had stopped after finding out what he needed to know. His daughter was finally here, and he wasn’t a villain, he’d give you time to heal, he’d give the baby time to get back home… He’d give you a little extra time to think… But if things didn’t work out the way he wanted them to… He’d soon be meeting his daughter, and he’d be changing her name as well. 

It felt like more of a slap in his face that his daughter seemed to be almost directly named after Bangchan… You all did this on purpose, to spite him, to piss him off more. Well, you got the reaction that you wanted. “Maybe you should try to just calm down a bit?” Jeongin recommended, awkwardly fiddling with the remote after pausing the news while the headline was still written in bold black letters at the bottom of the screen. 

“Calm down a bit? Sure, I mean, that’s easy for you to say… It’s not your kid carrying some other guy's last name… And first name… No… You just don’t understand.” Minho said sarcastically, drumming his hands on his lap as his nostrils flared and his teeth gritted together. “I’ll just go up there and talk to him myself… I don’t fucking care.” 

As soon as Minho was off the couch, Jeongin had moved to stand in front of the door, making sure he didn’t leave. “I… I don’t think that’s a good idea. There’s a bunch of cameras and reporters and… And if you make a scene, it’ll look really bad.” Jeongins eyes flashed around the room, but none of the other guys were home, they had all gone up to the hospital to congratulate you and Chan. Why was Jeongin left in charge of Minho? He wasn’t quite sure, but now he was really cursing himself for agreeing to it. 

“Like I said… I don’t care.” Minho snapped, trying to move Jeongin out of the way, but the maknae was holding his ground, his arms stretched out to completely block off the door. “Who’s side are you on? If this were happening to you, I would let you go. That’s my kid, Jeongin… I need to go see her.” 

“B-But Chan hyung is up there too…” Jeongin nervously retorted, trying to avoid Minhos dagger like eyes as they stared at him. “Don’t you think… Maybe you should just… Let Y/N and the baby rest. If you need to talk to him, you should just… Maybe just call him? I’m sure they’ll let you see the baby soon and… Well, there’ll be a lot of pictures taken of her too.” His attempt at keeping the peace was both a long shot, and it didn’t work at all. 

“I should have been the one up in that hospital anyway.” Minho hissed, his anger only growing with the younger boy's defiance and everyone seeming to be okay with just accepting his baby as Chans. “Look… I love you… You’re my brother… But if you don’t move out of the way, I’m gonna have to move you myself.” 

Was it a threat? Jeongin wasn’t sure, but he remembered the way Minho had hit Chan when he was angry enough, and he didn’t really want to go through that, so he hesitantly stepped away from the door, his head dropping shamefully. “Please don’t do anything stupid… It won’t help you… It won’t help anyone.” 

Minho scoffed, pulling the door open with such force that it slammed against the wall. “Don’t try to preach to me, I know what I have to do, and I don’t need anyone else’s help to do it.” And with that final statement, the door was being whipped shut, sending a vibration through the walls that Jeongin could feel in his back as he leaned against it. 

“Oh no, oh no…” Jeongin muttered to himself as he backed away from the door, pulling his phone out of his pocket and dialing Chans number only for it to go to voicemail. “Dammit…” He huffed, his mind feeling far too jumbled right now, unable to even completely focus on what he had to do. He knew that if Minho got up there, if Minho got through those doors, it would be a shit show for everyone. “Hyung…” Jeongin sighed when Chan finally answered his phone on the fifth round of calling. “He… He might already be there… But he’s coming… He’s coming.” 

It wasn’t rocket science, Chan knew exactly who Jeongin was talking about. “Hm… Thank you…” Chan muttered, and he could hear you in the background, although distant, he could hear the worry in your tone as you questioned who Chan was talking to. “Don’t worry about it, darling. It was just one of the staff calling to congratulate us.” Chans lying came so easily now, and he didn’t feel good about doing it, but if it meant protecting you and his daughter, he’d continue. 

“I’ll text the guys to let them know… So you can stay in the room with Y/N… And I’ll head up there too. I’m sorry I let you down…” Of course, Jeongin was filled with guilt for letting Minho walk out that door, but he was scared, he was so scared… But now that he thought about what could happen if Minho got up to the hospital and made it to your room… That fear was tripled. 

Chan sighed softly, and Jeongin could imagine him shaking his head. “You didn’t let me down… I wouldn’t want you on the receiving end of Minhos anger anyway. Just let the guys know what’s going on…” His tone was so hushed, and Jeongin could hear the sound of a bathroom fan, and he knew that Chan had gotten as far away from you as possible so he could speak without you worrying. “Just be careful on your way up here, okay? You still have to meet your niece.” 

///

“I’m gonna head down to the cafeteria with the guys to get something to eat… Do you want anything? Do you want one of them to stay here with you?” Chan asked as he stepped out of the bathroom, and you could feel some kind of tension coming from him, but you assumed it was just because he had witnessed you giving birth and… Well, he did almost faint, so he was probably still just coming to terms with what had just happened and what the next couple years would look like. 

You shook your head, letting out a yawn as you nestled into the bed. “The nurses have Chana, I think I should… really take advantage of that and get some sleep.” You murmured, your eyes barely even opened as you talked to him. “I love you… You should try to get some sleep when you come back up too… We’ve got a long couple months of nights ahead of us.” You joked, and Chan wanted to laugh, he really did, but those nights were seeming to be more of a distant dream now that he knew Minho truly wasn’t giving up. 

“Yeah… I will… I’ll get some sleep. I’ll let the nurses know that you’re resting if I see them on my way down.” It was hard to hold himself together. Had Minho already shown up? Was he there? “I love you, dream sweetly, darling.” He quickly walked over to the bed, leaning over to kiss your forehead before rushing back to the door. “I’ll be back up soon.” 

Walking out of your room was hard. Minho was… He was like a villain in a horror movie. No one knew where he was at right now, he could be on his way up to the room while Chan and the rest of the guys make their way down. He didn’t want Minho alone with you, not that he worried you’d get hurt, he just didn’t want Minho to sway your mind. “Seungmin is in the front lobby of the building, he already let security know what’s going on…” Felix said, patting Chans shoulder to not only reassure him, but to show him that they were all going to stand beside him through this. 

“I’m just tired… Tired of everything.” Chan muttered, exasperation clear in his voice as he ran his hands over his face. “Today should be the… The happiest day of my life. My fiancee just gave birth and… My daughter is here… And instead of being in that room with her, I’m on my way down to hopefully keep her ex from getting in. It’s just… It’s exhausting.” His heart was on his sleeve, every single emotion that had been pent up over the last couple months was finally being poured out. “He’s threatening to take us to court… He’s gonna try to take her away from us.” 

Not only did Felixs mouth fall open, but the other guys who were listening shared the same reaction of shock. “You didn’t tell us that… Why didn’t you let us know?” Felix inquired, truly upset that Chan hadn’t filled him in on just how bad things were getting. “We… We’ll do whatever we can to help… We’ll be beside you… You and Y/N…” 

It was a sweet sentiment and of course Chan appreciated it, but he didn’t want all of the guys to turn against each other, he didn’t want this to hurt their friendship. That’s why he had kept it hidden for so long. “No… It’s fine. If he feels attacked or threatened he’ll only be worse. He needs to know… Or at least assume that he has someone in his corner, as awful as that sounds.” Chan relented, taking a deep breath and then clearing his throat as his lips pursed into a tight line. “I can’t let this affect the group, STAY would be devastated to know what was going on…” 

And no one could disagree with that, so they had to back down. No one outside the group could truly know what was going on because it would ruin everything that they had worked so hard to achieve. “Has Seungmin texted you or tried to call you or anything?” Jisung asked, nervously chewing on his bottom lip as he leaned against the wall in the hallway. 

Chan wasn’t sure, he hadn’t felt his phone vibrate, but then he remembered that he had turned his phone off while in the room so that the baby could sleep and you could rest. “Shit…” He mumbled, pulling his phone out of his pocket and seeing the multitudes of texts and missed calls from Seungmin. “For fucks sake…” He muttered, reading through the texts that were urgently written and misspelled, letting Chan know that Minho had shown up, and he was still sitting in the waiting room, and he was pissed. 

“Do you want us to go down with you?” Hyunjin whispered, sheepishly twiddling his thumbs as if he were hoping for Chan to say no, and while he hadn’t actually said it, his head shook in response. “We’ll stay up here and guard the door then… Make sure he doesn’t get in.” 

///

“This is fucking ridiculous and you know it, Seungmin!” Minho shouted from his seat in the waiting room, the only thing keeping him from storming up to your room was the security guards that stood in front of him. “That’s my baby! I have the right to see her as her father! Why are you doing this? Why are you protecting him?!” Minho continued, looking between the guards to glare at Seungmin who stood a little further away, his eyes intermittently glancing behind him, waiting for Chan. 

“I’m just doing what’s right by Y/N and Chana…” Seungmin mumbled, and Minho rolled his eyes at the name that his daughter had gotten, a name that he couldn’t wait to change. “You forfeited your title as her father when you cheated on Y/N… I don’t think it’s fair that you’re coming in here trying to ruin the moment that Chan hyung and Y/N have been so excited to have.” 

“Thank you, Seungmin…” Chans voice came from behind the younger boy who had never been so relieved to see his hyung. “You can go back up with the other guys now… I’m sorry about all of this.” Seungmin grumbled incoherently under his breath, clearly annoyed with everything that was going on as he walked away, leaving Chan and Minho to once again face off. “You’ve got a lot of nerve showing up here right now.” 

“You’ve got a lot of nerve being the one to take my spot beside her as she delivered my child.” Minho threw it back to Chan, and they both were already on edge, prepared for anything that might happen. “I don’t know how long you think I’ll let this continue… But I’m going to get her back, and I’ll have both of them. I’ve let you have your fun, I let you hang around while she was pregnant, but I think it’s fine time for you to go back to your place and let her real father take over.” 

There was nothing more infuriating than Minho constantly throwing in his face that he wasn’t Chanas real father, and he knew that the only reason Minho did it was because it was the only thing that could truly get under Chans skin. “I am her father. She’s got my last name, I cut her cord… I was the first person to hold her. She’s my child, whether you try to take her away or not. You’re not the only person who’s gotten a lawyer. I’m ready for whatever it is that you try to throw at us.” 

Minhos jaw set, his teeth grinding together as his knee started to bounce. Minhos attempt at irritation was intentional, but Chans words had really set Minho off, whether it was on purpose or not. “She’s mine! They’re both mine, all mine. You’re stuck in some silly little fantasy world. Do you really think that Y/N will choose staying with you over having her daughter? Our daughter? I’ll get her back, and I’ll have both of them, and you’ll have nothing. You could have made this easier on yourself, you should have… But you chose the hard way… And that’s on you.” 

Chan was a leader, he’d do anything to protect the guys, and with that leader instinct, it made it easier for him to fall into the role of being a father, and a fiance. Along with those roles came the natural need to want to protect you and his daughter from any of the pain or heartache that Minho might cause, and he sure as hell wasn’t just going to let you or Chana be taken away from him, not without a fight. “The only one stuck in a fantasy is you, thinking that you’ll ever get them both back in your life. You’re an awful person, you were an awful boyfriend and you’d be an even worse father. You don’t deserve to have Y/N, and you surely don’t deserve to raise Chana.” 

“That’s not her name…” Minho practically growled, his fingers tightening around the arm rest of the chair. “You chose that name to piss me off. Everything you’ve done has been an attempt to make me angry. You want me to go off so that Y/N will think I’m an awful person and she won’t come back to me.” He leaned forward in his chair, the security between him and Chan tensing up at his movement. “I’m not… You’re the bad one… I’ll make her see that.” 

The huff of air that Chan let out through his nose was loud, the little smirk that tugged up at the corner of his lips was blood boiling, but Minho knew better than to be set off by it. “I don’t have to make her think anything. Y/N can come to that conclusion on her own, and she has.” Chans tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth before he took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. “Look, I’d love to sit down here and go back and forth with you for the rest of the evening, but my daughter and my fiancée are upstairs waiting for me. If you want to take this to court, fine… But you’re not going to win. I won’t let you. You’re not taking my family away from me.” 

Minho pushed himself up from the chair, stepping closer until he was up against the security guards, as close to Chan as he could be. “If that’s what you want to do then do it. You’ll ruin the group, everything that the guys have worked for, everything that you’ve worked for… It’ll be ruined. You won’t just give up when you can, you won’t give me back what’s mine. It’ll all be on you.” 

It was a threat, but it wasn’t nearly as scary as the possibility of never being with you again, of never holding Chana again. “The guys know where my priorities lie, and if you’re willing to destroy the group because of your selfishness and your inability to realize that you’ve screwed up for good, then that is entirely on you. You can take your guilt tripping elsewhere because quite frankly, we don’t need it, nor do we want it. Go home.” 

“You won’t win…” Minho muttered as he stepped back, his hands shoved angrily in his pockets. “I won’t let you win this… I’m gonna see her… They’ll both be mine, all mine…” He continued ranting as he was practically ushered out of the doors. It wouldn’t be the last you’ve all seen of him. He wasn’t going to give up until he got what he wanted, and he wanted you, he wanted his daughter. He realized his mistakes, he’s suffered for them, he’s regretted them since day one of being caught. It was time for forgiveness, at least in his eyes it was. He’d get that one way or another, he was sure of it. 

///

“What’s this?” You asked, walking into the kitchen, your daughter snuggled close against your chest. The white envelope with the massive bold letters had immediately caught your eye, and you shifted Chanas weight into one arm so you could grab the mail off the table and look at it. “Have you seen it yet? It’s already opened…” 

Chan was leaning over the counter, his back turned to you, almost entirely hunched over. He was silent, but his body was shaking, the veins of his arms protruding as his fingers gripped onto the edge. “He won’t give up…” Chan mumbled, finally turning to face you, his fingers running through his hair. You could see the pain in his eyes, the faint streaks of tears on his cheeks that he had attempted to wipe away. “Let me hold her while you read it… I’ll take her…” 

Your eyebrows wavered, worried about what could be inside the envelope, but you had a pretty good feeling of what it was, so you handed your daughter over to Chan before slipping out the paper. “A fucking summons? Is he serious right now?!” You screeched as you read the bold letters at the top of the paper. “He’s going too far… I thought he’d give up. I… I need to talk to him… Maybe he’ll-“ 

“No!” Chan practically shouted, his eyes glancing down at Chana and then back at you before taking a deep breath that left his lungs shakily. “No…” He repeated, his eyes closing as he continued to take deep breaths to calm himself. “I don’t want you talking to him. We can handle court, I’ll have one of the guys or something… They can babysit Chana… You can talk to him in court. You’re not… You’re not talking to him right now. He’ll try to use whatever you might say against you… I know how he works.” 

You lowered down into one of the chairs at the table, dropping the paper down on the surface before burying your face in your hands. “She’s not even three months old yet… He’s already trying to take her away from us…” Your words were muffled in your palms, and it wasn’t made any better that you were already beginning to cry. “If he… If he takes her… I need to go with her, Chan… I-“ 

He shushed you, walking over to stand beside you, brushing his fingers over your hair. “Don’t say things like that. I’m not letting him get her, and I’m not letting him get you. He’s not getting my girls, not now, not ever. Please don’t think like that. You’re not going anywhere.” He leaned in to press a kiss to the top of your head. “We’ve got enough proof, enough witnesses to say that he’s not fit to be a father, he’s at work all the time… Plus, Chana is too young, she can’t be taken away from you. Everything is going to be okay. Believe me, trust me.” 

Your head shook fast, your hair falling around your face, small strands sticking to your tear coated cheeks. “It’s not that easy for me to believe… this is my daughter… my baby, we’re talking about. I won’t believe that things are okay until this is done, until it’s over with and he’s completely out of our lives…” You glanced up at Chan who looked like he was deep in thought as he swayed back and forth with your daughter in his arms. 

“I’m trying… I really am. I’ve got a lawyer and everything for this… I’m… I’m scared too. I don’t want him to take her… I love her, she’s our baby. I love you too, you’re my baby girl…” The pet name had you rolling your eyes, slightly flustered as you dropped your head to look at your knees. “He’s not going to win this, I won’t let him.” He slipped a finger under your chin, tilting your head back so you’d look back up at him, your glossy eyes reflecting the twinkling lights of the chandelier like stars. “You’re strong, you’re so strong, darling. I’ve watched you get over him, I’ve watched you carry a baby for 9 months and then push her out… You’re so much stronger than you think. If anyone can get through this, it’s you.” Passing your daughter into your arms, he pressed a kiss to your cheek before standing up straight again. “Take a deep breath, darling. We’re gonna get through this, together.” 

Permanent TL : @whatudowhennooneseesyou @duchesskaren @mytherapisttoldmenotto @lovesunshinefelix @moon0fthenight @kurolils @maruskz @hello-2-u-from-me -> (continued in the next line because html coding is ridiculous)

@mrswolfiechan @bunnychangbin @his-angell @if-spearb @yomomma104 @lanatheawesome @facelesswrittes @grannyindehouse @cutie-wooyo @felixmainacc @syuuji @sanriiolino @yukichan67 @randomwimp @silentreadersthings @cutiespaghetti @its-hannjisung

People who wanted to be tagged in this specific fic : @hannie-bees @klyde06 @jihyun2monster @everglowdaisies @miniminkis

[dark-frosted-heart]

Clavis’ 4th Birthday Story (Part 3)

As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

—An incident that happened after I left to make tea at Clavis’ request.

The sounds of swords clashing rang in a corner of the large garden.

The two had been going through paperwork in the office only a short while ago, so how did they end up fighting each other with their swords drawn?

(Clavis aside, it’s rare to see King Chevalier entertain anyone)

Clavis caught King Chevalier’s swing at the right moment.

To the untrained eye, the two would look evenly matched.

Clavis: Haha, you’re stubborn. Just drop dead already.

Chevalier: I thought I’d settle this quickly, but it looks like you have some fight in you today.

(I really should stop them, but…)

I was reluctant to when I saw how Clavis was enjoying himself.

(Now that I think about it, every year on King Chevalier’s birthday, Clavis would celebrate by swinging his sword)

Chevalier doesn’t see any value in birthdays and doesn’t accept any well wishes or celebrations.

So Clavis swinging his sword every year to celebrate(?) acts as a reminder.

(Perhaps it’s reversed this time)

(Even though King Chevalier says he doesn’t celebrate…)

If their official business was actually something important, I doubt King Chevalier would drop it and draw his sword.

It’s likely that the pile of paperwork acted as a an opening to this unique present.

(I don’t know what caused this change of heart, but…Clavis must be happy)

Watching the two exchange blows didn’t feel right

(I wanted to make Clavis happier than anyone else did…and now I feel like I’m losing to King Chevalier)

(It’s a little frustrating…)

Clavis: Chevalier, I don’t have time to casually beat you up. My lovely fiancee looks like she’s jealous.

(Hm…?)

Clavis, who had been engaged in a fast-paced sword fight, took a step back and reached into his pocket.

What was quickly thrown to the ground exploded, creating a plume of smoke.

(Woah, the smoke’s coming this way!)

As I held my breath, I suddenly found myself lifted out of the smoke that clouded my vision— 

Clavis: Let’s run.

Emma: Woah, huh…why?!

Clavis carried me with ease and ran through the garden.

--

Before I could even process what was happening, we arrived at a guest room decorated just like the ones in the castle.

Clavis set me down like a gentleman and peeked down the hall.

Clavis: Haha, so he didn’t chase after me in the end. Looks like I won today.

Emma: King Clavis…what was that fight just then?

Clavis: Rebellion of course. There was no way I was going to let him take up more of my precious time on my birthday, regardless of circumstances.

Emma: Is it okay to rebel against official business?

Clavis: I verified that it could all be done tomorrow…That man took advantage of me. Ah, just thinking about it makes me angry.

(...That sour look. I wonder what they talked about while I was gone)

Clavis: You forget about that treacherous man too. In the time left, our new maid will be celebrating with me.

Emma: …

Clavis: What’s wrong?

Emma: …King Clavis, didn’t you call me your “lovely fiancee” earlier?

Clavis: Hmm…Did I?

(I’d like to think I was imagining it, but there’s no question about his demeanor)

(My surprise operation…)

I resisted the urge to collapse and removed my glasses.

Emma: How long have you known?

Clavis: Oh, so the new maid was Emma all along…!

Emma: Don’t pretend to be surprised.

Clavis: Haha, don’t pout.

As if to console me, Clavis hugged me around the shoulders and kissed my forehead.

Clavis: I love you, so how could I not have noticed? I’m confident that I can see through any of your disguises.

(Now that I think about it, he even recognized me while I was dressed as a man some birthdays ago)

(He knew from the very beginning but pretend he didn’t to not let me down)

(My heart’s a mess from both happiness and frustration)

Emma: I guess I still need to practice more if I want to surprise you.

Clavis: Yes, that’s right. But your aim wasn’t to surprise me, was it? My lovely fiancee, whom I didn’t think I’d be able to see on my birthday, appeared before my eyes and stayed by my side the entire time. Furthermore, she showed just how much she loved me when she saw through and stopped all my pranks. Is there a man out there that wouldn’t feel over the moon by this? I doubt it. I had another wonderful birthday this year. There were some complications, but you made up for them. 

When I looked up, Clavis’ smile melted my heart.

(That’s the face I wanted to see)

It was one different from the joy he expressed while with King Chevalier.

Only I got to see Clavis look this relaxed.

(...My surprise failed, but getting to see this kind of happiness on your face made it all worth it)

My frustration vanished instantly, leaving only happiness in my heart.

Emma: It’s still too early to feel satisfied. The real thing’s just beginning. 

Clavis: Haha, is that so?

Those alluring golden eyes made my heart skip a beat as he held my gaze.

I couldn’t help but kiss him when I saw the look of love on his face.

When I stole a kiss, fingers curled around the back of my neck, fanning the flames.

(...I was thinking about getting the cake I prepared for him…)

Clavis sealed my lips with his and slowly shed the gentlemanly facade.

Every touch sent heat down to my core, snatching away any confidence I had to leave this room.

(Rather than cake right now…)

I also placed my hand on the back of his neck and desperately tried to take in all the love given to me.

Emma: Apologies to King Chevalier, but…I want to spend the rest of the time with you. I’ll celebrate you for as long as we can, Clavis.

Clavis: Yes, of course. But I have one complaint…

He gently pushed me down on the bed and lifted the hem of my maid skirt.

Clavis: This skirt’s a bit too long for my birthday, don’t you think?

Emma: ……You pervert.

(Wait, no. It’s his birthday today. It’s his birthday)

When I shook my head and lifted my skirt, Clavis smiled as if he was about to burst into laughter—

Clavis: I’m a man who likes to be celebrated, so I’ll let you celebrate as much as you want.

—Eventually I was able to leave the room just as the morning sun began to light up the world.

I prepared the tea and birthday cake while savoring the happiness from the sensation of my body still feeling flushed.

But Clavis, with an elbow propped on a pillow and dreamy expression on his face, didn’t even try to get up.

Emma: Don’t you want to eat?

Clavis: Of course I do. But the problem is that I don’t feel like getting out of bed today. Oh dear, what a problem indeed. I could eat if my kind-hearted, lovely fiancee would feed me.

Emma: ……

Clavis: Every year I look forward to being wrapped in your love. Can you at least do this for the birthday boy?

Emma: …Just for today, okay?

(I have no choice but to respond when he’s looking at me expectantly)

(But I can’t bring myself to look at Clavis when he looks so charming after just waking up)

He’s normally fully dressed by the time I’ve woken up, so it’s rare to see him with just his shirt.

I turned away from Clavis, who still had the traces of last night surrounding him, and carefully placed the tray with the birthday set on the bed.

While I sliced the rainbow cake with the fork and brought a piece to his mouth, eyes down, I felt a strange sensation on my leg. 

Emma: W-what are you doing?

Clavis: Oh, would you like me to explain in detail? Sure. I saw your exposed legs, so I thought you were offering— 

Emma: Hurry up and eat your cake, happy birthday!

Sensing a hint of pleasure, I shoved the cake against his lips, but his hand didn’t leave my leg. Instead, he began to tickle the back of my knee in a lewd way.

Emma: Nn…

Clavis: Haha, that was a sweet sound.

Emma: The cake’s about to fall off.

Clavis: We can’t have that. I don’t want to miss a single piece from a cake you made. Come on now. If you keep looking away, it’ll really fall. 

(Ah, that’s why he’s playing a prank…)

Determined to overcome his sex charm, I met his gaze.

I had to steel myself so my hands wouldn’t shake when met with such overwhelming charm, but Clavis looked satisfied.

Clavis: You really know how to please me, don’t you?

Emma: Do I?

Clavis: Yes. I present you with the honor of Lelouch Master. A title only you could earn.

Emma: That… Might make me feel a little happy.

Clavis: Don’t feel so modest. You’re “very happy” aren’t you?

(Geez…)

I felt so embarrassed that I unconsciously tried to look elsewhere, but a finger on my knee started acting mischievous again, as if to reprimand me.

Clavis: Keep your eyes on me, Miss Accomplice. After all, everything I do is out of love for you, isn’t it? Not just now, but everything else up to this point.

(“Accomplice” instead of “fiancee”...There was something implied there)

(Why accomplice all of a sudden…)

(...Ah)

Emma: Clavis, it can’t be that…all the pranks played on King Chevalier…they were— 

Clavis: As expected of the Lelouch Master. You’re pretty sharp.

(I see…those pranks weren’t for King Chevalier)

(Maybe they were evil deeds done out of love so that he could watch me flounder about)

(Which means I was unknowingly an accomplice to Clavis’ evil)

Emma: You played me.

Clavis: Haha, you still have ways to go. After Master, you should aim for Legend.

Emma: Of course, I’ll get promoted right away. I’ll reach Legend next year.

Clavis: Oh, that’s a lot of confidence.

Emma: So, um…that means I want to understand you even better than before!

(No one loves Clavis more than I do)

Feeling more embarrassed, I shoved the cake in his mouth and kissed his cheek.

I’m sure my face was bright red while Clavis smiled at me in delight.

Clavis: Now then, let’s see what your future holds. Can you love me even more, Emma?

[ericmicael]

My fear that "Frozen 3" will end up confirming one of the worst theories about the Northuldra Tribe and which was intensified with the release of "All is Found: A Frozen Anthology" for me has never been so real.

The theory is a response to the theory that Disney would always need to ask for permission from the Sami Tribe to do something relevant with Honeymaren, Ryder and Yelana, which is why these three, who are the only named characters from the tribe, have disappeared from the extra materials and are so little present in the marketing, with the Enchanted Forest itself having its name changed to Arendelle Forest for Disney to use it in its parks.

The theory behind the answer is that Disney would replace them with a new group of characters who would be the focus of the new film and would only use the Northuldras as background characters. And honestly, this concept art has revived that fear of mine.

A place that seems to have little to do with the Enchanted Forest and figures that seem to indicate a new inhabited magical kingdom, which made some people create a new theory that also worries me: Elsa changing home again, but this time she would change from a place that brings her a great sense of freedom and connection with her mother to a kingdom with magical people like her, which would make the change more acceptable to the general public.

And let's remember that among the 18 questions that came up in the F3 presentation, there were none related to Northuldra or Elsa's presence in the Enchanted Forest, but rather: "who gave Elsa her powers?", "why there castles ruins throughout Ahtohhalan?", "where did the nature spirits come from?" which smells to me like what we know about Ahtohallan will suffer a retcon. Why was anyone really still in doubt about who gave Elsa magic after the movie? I feel like a new addition will come to Ahtohallan that will end all the importance of the tribe in this even less important story.

I'm actually afraid that there will be a complete replacement of the entire role of the Northuldra Tribe by something now officially magical and completely owned by Disney that would prevent new dramas if they want to make material about it. And the Northuldra themselves? Relegated to the role they have in the Anthology, being just a reminder that the film has indigenous representation and that Iduna's blood heritage has not been forgotten. And so a mobile game would continue to be the only place that delves deeper into Honeymaren and Ryder, and that its main highlight is confirming that the siblings have already competed for Elsa's attention with a romantic air (Honeymaren won the dispute by a long shot), and that Ryder, after seeing his sister's feelings for the Snow Queen, decides to help please the woman in a task that the female warrior could not perform because of her difficulty in talking to strangers.

I hope I'm wrong, but the way Disney has treated the tribe since the release of "Frozen 2" is yet another indication to me that I'm unfortunately more right than wrong. So many excuses not to approach a member of the tribe and so many excuses not to approach Elsa in the Enchanted Forest doing something other than playing with animals, spirits or putting out a fire being her most relevant feat there in the podcast "Disney Frozen: Forces of Nature", to this day we don't even know where she lives. It seems that Disney never cared about making us attached to Elsa's ending in "Frozen 2" like they made us attached to Anna's ending in the same film, so making a new change in the life of the Snow Queen who we officially can't say much about and the people she theoretically lives close to, but seem to barely interact with, wouldn't be that hard.

[satansapostle6]

Lovers and Liars | Draco Malfoy

Draco Malfoy and Theodore Nott, both determined and resourceful from reputable houses, find themselves at odds in the name of love.

Warning: Mature themes/language. Violence. Sexual content.

Chapter One: Who You Know

Theodore Nott sat perched above the courtyard of Hogwarts like a gargoyle, watching. Typically, he wasn’t selective about what he payed attention to; observation was information, and information was power. But on this particular day, he did have an intended focus. Theo’s eyes were locked on Lorelei Morrigan, another fourth year at Hogwarts.

Lorelei was one of the most popular girls at Hogwarts. She was a Slytherin just as he was. She was best friends with Pansy Parkinson and Daphne Greengrass, and the heiress to House Morrigan. Theo felt strongly that he and Lorelei together would be an unstoppable pairing that could one day become its own dynasty, but he knew that first, there were other external factors that stood in the way.

“I can’t wait ‘til they announce the Champions,” Pansy Parkinson remarked to her friends, referring to the ongoing Triwizard Tournament, an event that happened only once every hundred years. “I hope a Slytherin gets picked.”

Pansy Parkinson was the self-proclaimed most popular, beautiful, and powerful girl in Slytherin and the rest of Hogwarts for that matter, and she often treated and viewed her two best friends as her loyal handmaidens. Lorelei scoffed at her claim as she walked alongside Pansy and Daphne Greengrass.

“I doubt it,” she laughed emptily.

Pansy frowned, not accepting of her negative opinion even as a fellow Slytherin. “Why not?”

“Look at our House’s luck in the past ten centuries or so. The last great wizard we produced was Merlin,” Lorelei pointed out.

Pansy took offense. “What about The Dark Lord? Or Grindelwald?”

Lorelei saw herself out of the debate, recognizing it would get political.

“I hope the Hogwarts Champion’s a cute guy,” Daphne shared. “Or a cute girl. Those Beauxbatons girls make us look stupid.”

“Ugh, don’t get me started!” Pansy exclaimed in disgust. “They’re all Draco’s been looking at!”

Daphne and Lorelei exchanged glances, knowing that once Draco Malfoy’s been brought up, the topic remains relevant for the next fifteen minutes or so. Pansy, as the ‘most popular girl at Hogwarts’, insisted on having the ‘most popular boy at Hogwarts’, Draco Malfoy, the Slytherin from one of the wealthiest families in the Wizarding world.

Why she insisted on eventually marrying one of the richest boys when she was already one of the richest girls herself, Lorelei had no idea. Her family, of course, was admittedly just as wealthy as the Parkinsons, if not more, despite not being a part of the elite Sacred Twenty-Eight. But Lorelei wasn’t quite as obsessed with finding the perfect rich, Slytherin boy at Hogwarts to ultimately marry.

*****

That night at dinner, all of the magical students currently housed at Hogwarts were reminded that the three Champions of the Triwizard Tournament were to be selected.

Lorelei, who was more ambitious than Pansy, at least in some areas, wished that it wasn’t only seventeen year-olds who could put their names into the Goblet of Fire for selection, always having had a genuine curiosity about how talented and strong she really was, although she never would’ve actually admitted it to anyone.

She never would have wanted to sound the way Draco Malfoy did when he went around boasting that, had he been able to enter his name, he would have won the Tournament. Why exactly Pansy insisted on him being the one for her, Lorelei had no idea. That night, she sat beside Daphne at the Slytherins’ table in the Great Hall as the students all waited for the names to be drawn.

She was silent as she listened to Pansy whispering to Daphne about her plot to get Draco to finally ask her out. This wouldn’t be her first scheme, of course. It was more like her sixteenth in the past couple of years or so. Lorelei thought she was pathetic and small-minded, but that was a thought that she was saving for Pansy’s inevitable betrayal.

Lorelei considered Pansy to be one of her best friends, due to the way they got along thanks to the way their minds both worked. Pansy was her non literal meal ticket, and her credibility, and her scapegoat, but she didn’t trust Pansy at all when it came to the social games that girls, particularly Slytherin girls, liked to play. That was why the only other friend she really had outside of Pansy’s group was Blaise Zabini, the loner that all the girls wanted.

But tonight, Lorelei found herself seated at dinner between Daphne Greengrass and Theodore Nott, who she had barely spoken to before. Seeing her boredom as Pansy was talking, Theodore lifted his head and paid closer attention to Lorelei, moving in closer as he spoke.

“Who do you think’s going to be Hogwarts Champion?” he asked.

Lorelei looked at him, and decided she was glad someone else decided to take interest in talking to her.

“I don’t know. But I hope it’s not a Gryffindor,” she remarked coolly, staring at the giant Goblet by the Headmaster’s podium.

Theo laughed, finding her coldness amusing. “You really buy into the rivalry, don’t you?”

“No,” she responded. “It’s just… they already have everything else.”

He nodded, finding her answer insightful. “I know what you mean. Our first year here, we were supposed to win the House Cup. But then, our esteemed Headmaster gave out just enough Gryffindor points to win them the Cup.”

“And all the other Houses hate us,” Lorelei thought. “Gryffindors. We make our own victories, and they take them.”

“I’m Theo,” he introduced himself.

“I know who you are,” Lorelei said.

Theo raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

No one ever paid him any attention. He clung to the shadows, and they clung to him.

“You’re Theodore Nott,” the ruby-haired girl recognized. “Your parents knew my parents.”

“They do, yeah,” he agreed.

“I think I’ve seen you… outside of school, I mean,” she thought. “At the parties.”

“You have a sharp memory,” Theo remarked.

“I never forget a face,” Lorelei told him.

Theo smiled, just as the Champions were announced by Professor Dumbledore. Fleur Delacour for Beauxbatons. Pansy had made a remark about how many of the boys had been talking about her. Viktor Krum for Durmstrang. Many all around seemed excited about this one. And finally, Cedric Diggory for Hogwarts. This was one of the few times Lorelei shared Pansy’s bitterness, as a popular Hufflepuff, of all people, was chosen as the Hogwarts Champion.

“This is somehow worse than a Gryffindor,” Lorelei made a face, as Theo just chuckled.

But then, unexpectedly, a fourth and final name was ejected from the Cup. Harry Potter, Hogwarts’ most famous student, and Gryffindor. Lorelei and Theo both looked at one another in surprise as the room immediately erupted into chaos. Almost everyone was yelling, including Pansy.

“Cheat!” Pansy yelled, which everyone seemed to agree with in an angry consensus. “Filthy Half-Blood!”

This one was a bit more controversial. She and Draco were having the time of their lives. Lorelei watched in silence as Harry Potter silently walked up to Professor Dumbledore to claim his name. Everyone was extremely tense. Lorelei leaned over to Theo, whispering quietly.

“Do you think he put it in?”

Theo scrutinized the entire situation closely, not yet forming a concrete opinion.

“It’s hard to say,” he murmured. “You’d think so… But I don’t think even he’s that stupid.”

“That’s true, I suppose,” Lorelei considered the possibility. “Remember second year, when everyone was convinced he killed Filch’s cat?”

Theo agreed. “He may be stupid, but he’s more of a circumstantial stupid.”

Lorelei looked at Theo critically, knowing that his parents had the exact same sort of ‘associations’ that hers did.

“Theo?”

“Hmm?” he inquired.

Lorelei thought carefully, trying to phrase her question as delicately as possible for the stranger.

“You don’t think that… they had anything to do with this, did you?” she wondered.

She watched as the blank expression on Theo Nott’s face slowly curled into a mischievous smile.

“Smart girl,” he said, so that only the two of them could hear.

“Was your father at the World Cup too?” she asked him.

Discussing the Death Eaters’ march on the Quidditch World Cup over the summer was a very delicate conversation. It was a topic that Lorelei typically avoided with Pansy, due to the fact that Pansy’s beliefs were a bit too pro-Death Eater, even for her.

“He… was present,” Theo responded carefully.

Lorelei looked at him, appreciative of his honesty. He leaned in to whisper something to her, a humorous grin on his face.

“Tortured a bunch of people, too.”

Lorelei stared at him in surprise, giggling.

-

Chapter Two

[prettyboykatsuki]

extended authors note for another name for homesick

hey...lmao

first of all. i want to give a shoutout again to @ficsforgaza for hosting this event and giving me and my followers a nice way to fundraiser through our community. i just wanted a place to promote them and encourage people to donate and participate in the event. thank you for your hard work!

second, i'm writing this preemptively. i.e. before the fic is even finished. the way things are going right now, i have no doubt that i'm going to need some kind of authors note

this fic got more serious than i thought it would. which yeah, makes sense. i initially just planned on making this a horny fic with a little hint of bi4bi undertones but somewhere along the lines it started being about queerness and growing up on the whole.

there is definitely some sexism and homphobia relevant to omegaverse lore in here. there is also a lot of references to puberty.

specifically, though - there's a scene where reading experiences sexual harassment while very underage. and i felt that needed more context.

the scene itself is reader being on the train home while experiencing their first heat and their feelings of disgust in relation to their body's instinctual response to touch / sexual harassment by an older alpha.

i wondered if i should include this scene a lot before writing it but ultimately, it felt like betrayal to this readers struggles and characterization to not as it shapes their life and worldview.

the scene itself is not strictly necessary for you to read. it's intended to be more true to life in a way i know might be triggering so i will include an indicator for the scenes stop and start. but i wanted to give some explanation before that.

in general, i hope this fic doesn't upset anyone. i write a lot of incredibly dark content but it's very different imo to be writing something that handles such serious real life subject matter and i wanted to at least try to handle it with some level of delicacy.

it's really not my strong suit, nor is world building. im actually so dogshit at both its hilarious so imagine my horror and dismay when this fic won the poll. fdkjfskjd.

either way, i wanted to at least try to handle these themes with some care and i hope at the very least you can give me benefit of the doubt when it comes to how i've written.

this fic isn't meant to dismiss labels, but rather to emphasize that labels come secondary to acceptance and that love takes a lot of different forms. and i hope to any young queer people who don't full know which way they land that you're not obligated to put yourself in a box.

anyways. thank you for letting me yap and i hope you enjoy the fic. if nothing else, i hope the porn is hot.

love,

fang.

[indiaalphawhiskey]

Hello India! Because I unfortunately belong to the overthinkers club, I´ve been recently thinking about that "famously sexy" quote especially after H´s extra sexy outfit yesterday. And I would like to share some of my opinions about this theme which maybe goes hand in hand with H´s sexuality.

As we can see how Louis is becoming more and more confident and open every show - his tanktops, his smile after barricade ripped tank top and how he came back half naked looking beyond happy, his interaction with fans, dancing and just feeling himself - I have no doubt that H is very the same. When I think back to that Better homes and gardens´ interview he said something like how he struggled with himself and felt that his sex life was the only thing that was truly his and he felt ashamed of that. The Harry we can see on stage these months is - as I personally see it - very open person who no longer struggle to be truly himself, being proud and comfortable of his sexuality (no matter how he identifies) and he loves his body. Of course, there´s a factor of being on stage and put up a great show but I don´t think he´ll be able to do it as he does if he won´t be confident and won´t feel it. Yes, there are all those marketing strategies how he´s sold as a sex symbol mostly for female audience and I see this very similar to how Ricky Martin has been sold during 00´s - he has very sexy videos where he´s making out with woman, his body was (and still is) very ripped and mostly half naked. Back then even my child self (I was about 10 years old) saw him as a total sex god. And now he´s openly gay, still doing very sexy photoshoots....because he´s proud and he´s feeling himself. But I see something different with Harry being more open and giving hints of his queerness - something Ricky Marting wasn´t probably able to do back then - his total sexy gay outfits (yesterday he looked like he´s literally came on stage from gay bar), his banana dick, penis jokes and gay innuendos are just a few which came to my mind now. And there´s his role for MP and those sex scenes which he was able and comfortable to shoot which also speaks volume. Writing this, his stunts with women and interaction to some het signs are just to get away with everything queer he does. And the last question to think about - for whom is he famously sexy? He´s sold as a sex symbol for female audience mostly but....but does it mean that gay men don´t see him as a sex symbol too? What if his actual target are gays and never women (but heteronormativity makes us feel like it´s primary for women) - we will never know because he will never tell and that´s probably good because he´ll loose most if he just come out. Sorry for longer message, hope it´s understandable what I´m trying to say - not everything we think he´s sold as and primary for whom might be true and his inner target can be totally different.

I think, to stay mentally healthy, Harry has very much learned to compartmentalize between his personal and professional life.

I tend to think the fandom struggles with this compartmentalization because it feels so drastically different from what he seemed to want when he was younger and how much he visibly pushed against that overly sexualized image (which he still does, btw, because enjoying being sexy and inviting sexualization will always be two different things).

But yeah, I think the fandom doesn’t know how to reconcile his personal acceptance of his status as a sex symbol with the way he used to push back so fiercely against it. But really, I think it’s just a conscious, strategic adult decision.

This is not to say I agree with forcibly closeting anyone, or using closeting/stunting as currency to win back inalienable rights and personal freedoms. I absolutely do not and I wish the world was not this way at all.

But I’m also aware that we live in this reality, where the entertainment industry will continue to commodify people because there’s nothing that stops them, which means playing into that role allows him other freedoms, because anyone with any kind of professional career understands that making yourself “worth the trouble” and irreplaceable, especially in such a finicky industry, is what’s going to allow for both creative control and longevity in your career.

At the end of the day, I think it all boils down to cost. We like to think of stunts in a vacuum - either they exist or they don’t, and everything else stays the same - but the truth is, that’s not the way it works. Rather, it’s a lot more likely that stunts are a constant part of being That Kind of celebrity, particularly because of Harry’s profile, how he shot to fame, and how he has always been marketed, and what he has managed to do is gain enough leverage and popularity to exchange participation for something/multiple things: creative freedom, personal expression, rainbow flags every night, sparkly bi music… the list goes on.

And, as easy as it is to say it’s black-and-white not worth it… do we really mean that? If we had a printed receipt that said the cost of being allowed to fly a rainbow flag every night and play a starring role in a queer film and write songs like She and Find Line and Little Freak and helping fans come out and saying “we’re all a little bit gay” was one (1) stunt every year, would we, as a fandom, be willing to make the trade? Would we be willing to go back to the way it was in the 1D days, where everything he did and said was so tightly monitored that a glimpse of anything rainbow would send us into cardiac arrest and growing his hair was the biggest act of authenticity and rebellion he could manage?

And more than that, do we even have the right to have weigh in on something we know nothing about the complexities of, and that neither affect our life/our career/our future/the way we’re allowed to move about the world as a person/artist?

[sickandunwell]

Enobaria

I think a lot about Enobaria. At first she seems indifferent, if a bit sadist or even barbaric. She ripped a tribute's throat out with her teeth, that seems fitting for a ruthless, sadist girl from district two.

But anyone that knows even a little bit of fighting would realize that it was not an act of sadism. If, for example, she came up to the other tribute from behind, would they not have enough time to run the minute they felt her hands on their body? Would they not be able to somehow wrestle their way out? The idea that the tribute might been someone frail also doesn't make this more plausible. Not to mention, if this was how she wanted to kill them, wouldn't she have done it multiple times throughout the Games? But it's stated in the books, it was her last act of violence in her Games.

Biting someone's neck is an act of desperation. It's something that can only be accomplished by doing it to someone weak or otherwise incapacitated, unlikely because they made it to the final 2. It's much more likely that she was in a struggle with this person, likely had her hands occupied with keeping this tribute's hands/weapons from ending her life.

This is the final duo. The last fight. There’s no ending other then survival or death. Like Katniss said during the fireball attack, you act or die. Enobaria, having been trained for this, knows that. Looking at it this way, it makes her ending to the games so much tragic.

The Ballad of Songbirds and Snakes gives more context as to how the Capitol citizens would have percieved this last act of survival. In the Capitol citizens' eyes, the district people are barely human. Barbaric, in need of control for fear they'll go feral. Enobaria ripping that Tribute's throat out would be a confirmation of this. Of course a District 2 girl would do something so barbaric. That's the backwards mountain country. That's why they're the ones becoming peacekeepers. How else can their feral behavior be contained? Her job as a victor isn't to give the Capitol citizens more entertainment. It's to be held up as a symbol of everything wrong with the district citizens. A reminder that the districts would fall into feral chaos if the capitol released its grip on the districts.

No room for consideration. She probably wasn't comforted by anyone. I wonder if the doctors and capitol attendants made a show of backing away, cowering, giving her wary looks. You could say in this act alone, she was innocent. What else would you expect her to do? Die? What teenage girl would accept that, knowing her death would be braodcast to her parents, her siblings, friends, a lover if she had one? It being the final fight means it would be shown again and again. No one would want their family to see that.

But she doesn't get that empathy. That moment of survival defines her for the rest of her life. It confirms the Capitol's prejudice towards the districts. I doubt her teeth were done with her consent. Haymitch barely got Katniss out of her own cosmetic enhancements. It's actually a rather dangerous cosmetic procedure. How many times have we bit our tongues by accident, drawing blood? Imagine how carefully she'd have to eat for the rest of her life. How often she's been hospitalized from accidentally puncturing her tongue. She couldn't kiss someone, in fear of them poking themselves on her teeth. Everytime she smiles or laughs, her trauma is exposed. And every year, the capitol would make a show of revisiting that moment.

And she's so defined by this act that even Katniss is wary of her. But, she seems to still remember that Enobaria was a child much like her when she won the games. That's why she has enough empathy to give Enobaria immunity, because whatever happened wasn't her fault to begin with. Just like Katniss sentencing Glimmer & the District 4 girl to a horrific death wasn't really her fault.

Of course, when the opportunity to inflict that trauma on the Capitol children pops up, she gleefully takes it. Wanting to give the capitol a taste of their medicine. This last line, to me, cements how traumatized she is by her games. Maybe if she sees a Capitol girl driven to unthinkable acts, being defined by her desperation for the rest of her life, it could lessen the pain of her trauma, if only a little.

[arliedraws]

Young Sirius as a boyfriend? I'm talking post Hogwarts Sirius, in the order. I imagined this scenario: there's this girl in the order (yeah, I know most people headcanon him as gay or bi, but for me he isn't, don't judge me, ok? :c), he doesn't feel much for her at first. They met in hogwarts, and she always kind of liked him, but he never cared so much for her, until they realised they have the same sense of humour, family trauma (different kind, but still) and a similar sense of adventure. Slowly he starts falling for her. I think he would be intense, but he wouldn't accept his feelings for her at first. I think that Sirius might have secretly wanted what James and Lily had..like he craved that kind of love he got from his friends (James especially), but at some point he would like to have his own family. Sorry too long😅

I’m not poo-pooing this idea, it’s only that I don’t see Sirius feeling like he has time for a relationship during the war, so I don’t think he’d ever be a boyfriend at all (or call himself one). If there really was a girl in the Order who fell for him (which, I sort of doubt because I think MWPP + Lily were the only youngsters in the group), I would imagine he would find anyone who doesn’t take the cause seriously to be a bit too silly for him. I agree with some of your points, but personally, I don’t think he would want what James and Lily had - I think he just wants JAMES (even if it isn’t Prongsfoot-style desire).

And who Sirius is in a relationship depends on who the person is, you know?

If you were going to build an OFC for young Sirius, you would need to make her really fucking interesting. Like, there’s no wishy-washy nonsense here, and you can’t self-insert here because our self-inserts are never that interesting (because we take away the things we don’t like about ourselves and hardly any of us see ourselves accurately tbh). I don’t think she needs to be that hot, frankly, but she needs to be interesting (but he’d need to find her sexy). This is why I rarely ship him with people his own age.

An OFC who’s in the Order for a post-Hogwarts, young Sirius could be:

- A woman who is 5-10 years older than him (or, idk, 15-20 is fine too). She should be able to teach him a few things, and he would probably then get off showing HER things.

- A young woman who was a prefect OR Head Girl when he was a 1st-2nd year and took points from him/gave him detention (and he never forgot). Same as above.

- A young woman who was recruited because she is VERY good at something (Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, Potions, etc) and she’s very serious about it (and not very silly—that doesn’t mean not funny, but definitely not a silly person). OR she is really well-connected and her parents are hoping she’ll make a good marriage after Hogwarts, so Dumbledore sees her as a useful “in” to pureblood circles. But still, not silly.

But golly, I really struggle with OFCs for Sirius. I see him either having casual sex (not in a fuckboy way, but in a “sex is a stress reliever” way), or having a relationship so compelling to him that to suggest he’s simply a boyfriend would be insulting. No in-between. They are partners, not boyfriend/girlfriend. He takes the idea of each person giving equally very seriously, but in the end, he does have to ‘win’ and the person he’s with would have to accept that (but like, they could know he’s wrong and be okay with the fact that he thinks he’s won if he really hasn’t). Sirius is the most loyal person—once he’s decided on you, that’s it, baby. If you do something wrong or betray him, he’ll punish you (and it’ll be cold and mean and petty as hell). He’ll let you see the deepest parts of himself, but the trade-off is that he sees you too—and if you fuck with him, he will use your insecurities against you—very, very effectively.

So my point is, you not only have to be interesting, you have to be willing to be humble AND stick up for yourself just the right amount (unless he believes the sun shines out of your ass like James). It’s a fine fucking line. If you do something wrong, he’ll stand up for you, but you’d better not make it a habit. Don’t tell him what to do or suggest that you know better than him. You are partners, and if he feels like you’re getting the upper hand, he will bring you back to his level very quickly. No, I would not like to be in a romantic relationship with him.

The reason James is so perfect for Sirius is that Sirius sees him as everything a person is SUPPOSED to be. So uh, if you can top that, sure. Go for it.

[travllingbunny]

Hi! I don't know how much you're interested in the subject today, but considering how i really adored a lot of your opinions/views of the Wars of the Roses and some people involved, especially Richard III, i was wondering how you think a scenerio where Richard remained King for more time or simply won Bosworth would be

Thank you for the teresting question.

Contrary to historical fiction works that portray him as desperate at the Battle of Bosworth, I think it's more likely Richard was hoping to get rid of Henry Tudor quickly and saw him as just a temporary nuisance. If only the battle had happened a couple of days later, when Richard got reinforcements from the North, or if William Stanley had not made the decision to definitely switch sides to Henry, the battle would've probably gone completely differently.

Below is my speculation of what happens if Richard wins:

The immediate outcome seems relatively clear - we know now that Richard was in the middle of secret negotiations with the royal family of Portugal for a double marriage between him and Infanta Joanna, and Elizabeth of York and King's 16-year old cousin Manuel, Duke of Beja, which were apparently going very well. It seems unlikely that Joanna, who had been refusing to get married for so long, would accept, but supposedly the negotiations were going well. We know Richard had sent her a personal letter, so it's fun to speculate what he said that would make her reconsider. I'm thinking he may have talked about religion (as they were both known to be pious) and pitched the marriage in terms of a partnership, and how she could do good for peace and the people of England through charity work (which she was known to do) and maybe even assured her that she wouldn't have to keep having children after she gave birth to an heir? Richard was expected to remarry and have a son after his only legitimate son and his wife died, but going by his choice of bride, he was looking for a great Queen and political partner above all, and not a broodmare - I can't imagine Joanna, who wanted to be a nun and was against marriage, agreeing to keep popping up a child every year or two until she hits menopause. He also may not have been two concerned because he had an heir and spares already, even though not 'of his body'- - his adult nephew John de La Pole and his younger brothers William, Edmund and Richard. The Portugal double marriage would've been a genius political move for many reasons: it would allow Richard to claim that he was ending the York/Lancaster rift for good by marrying Joanna, since the Portuguese royal family were through the female line the main surviving Lancastrian branch; it would fulfil his promise to Elizabeth Woodville that he would find good matches for her daughters in spite of their new 'bastard' status - and how! a Portuguese royal marriage was worthy of a princess* - and could be seen as healing the rift between the Yorkists too (and would at the same time make it impossible for Henry Tudor or anyone else to try to claim the throne of England by marrying her); and it would give England a great, intelligent and respectable Queen, who had experience in ruling as regent and could rule in RIchard's absence when he spent time abroad in wars, and whose reputation for piety and charity for people would help restore his tarnished reputation.

One interesting consequence of his marriage alliance is that Elizabeth of York would eventually have become a Queen Consort, but of Portugal, as Manuel eventually became King.Manuel I in 1495.

Once the situation became more stable, Richard would've probably focused on the things he had already started to do during his short reign - legal reforms aimed mostly at bettering the judiciary and the status of common people, and he would no doubt also want to curtail the power of major noblemen of questionable loyalty such as the Stanleys - and things he is known to have enthusiastically talked about planning to do, such as trying to convince other European countries to mount a campaign to stop the Ottoman Empire's conquests in Europe. (France would be an unlikely ally, Portugal and Burgundy would be obvious ones, and he'd no doubt try to pitch it to the Holy Roman Empire.)

I don't know whether he'd be successful at that, or how long he would live, but a few most obvious historical consequences would be:

the way the previous few decades were remembered in history would be very different, and no one would ever call them the "Wars of the Roses" - which was a name given by Walter Scott in the 19th century based on the fact that Henry VII used the red-white Tudor rose as his sigil, promoting it as a sign of supposed unity between the Lancaster and York dynasties - in spite of the fact that the Lancasters didn't actually use a red rose, or any kind of rose, as their sigil. Henry VII also presented the conflicts that had gone on as a part of one ongoing conflict that he ended with the Battle of Bosworth and by marrying Elizabeth of York. In reality, these were a few conflicts separated by years or even decades in between, and before the battle of Bosworth, the last actual armed conflict fought over the throne of England had been 14 years earlier, when Edward IV won his second and decisive war over the Lancasters. The conflict between the two Yorkist factions after Edward's death did not result in any actual battle (in 1783, Buckingham failed to ignite a rebellion, and his ally Henry turned back to France, realizing the war was lost before it began), so Henry basically 'ended the Wars of the Roses' only after he restarted them in 1485. (Not to mention that Henry had to fight another battle two years later against the Yorkists led by Jon de la Pole, which is always conveniently left out in history books, and had to catch, exile or execute various Yorkist pretenders throughout his reign.) If Henry loses the battle, he becomes only a footnote in history. Edward IV remains considered the one who ended the Lancaster-York conflicts with his decisive victory in 1471. Richard probably manages to be popular and respected king (much more than Henry was with his notorious tax laws) and would likely have claimed to have 'united the York and Lancaster branches' with his marriage to Joanna (though he probably wouldn't have made a huge deal out of it as Henry did, since Henry was promoting himself as the founder of a new dynasty that would start a new era). But what of the Princes in the Tower? Well, we don't know what happened to them and Richard may be suspected to have murdered them, but Henry definitely did imprison 11 year old Edward of Warwick and keep him locked up in the Tower until he was 25 and then executed him on trumped up treason charges just because he was another pretender to the throne, but barely anyone talks about it or cares, so... (insert something about history being written by the winners)

Scotland and England remain separate independent countries. It's very unlikely that the same chain of events would happen where the daughter of a king of England marries a king of Scotland, and then a century later her descendant becomes not just the king of Scotland but also the heir to the throne of England because the ruling dynasty of England died out. There is never a Tudor dynasty, never a Stuart dynasty, never a Hanover dynasty. And there's never a United Kingdom.

There is never such a thing as Anglicanism/the Church of England, with the monarch as its head. Mind you, this doesn't necessarily mean that England remains fully or predominantly Catholic - Protestantism was gaining popularity not just in England (even when Henry was still a devout Catholic) but also in Scotland, which didn't have a Henry VIII splitting with the Pope so he could annul his marriage. It's impossible to tell how exactly the Reformation and Counter-reformation would've affected England under different monarchs and a different dynasty, since so much of the religious strife in the 16th century was linked to Henry's decisions, his break from the Pope, his marriages and annulments and his succession issues, and then with the personalities and backgrounds of his children: Edward as a staunch Protestant (just like his mother's family), Mary as a staunch Catholic (completely unsurprising with her background and the fact that her father broke from the Pope so he could annul his marriage to her mother, proclaiming her a bastard), and then Elizabeth, who couldn't be tolerant to Catholics even if she didn't care about religion, since the Pope and therefore all Catholics considered her a bastard and an illegitimate monarch. How would elderly Richard, and/or his heirs, treat Protestants? What would they think of Martin Luther, or of William Tyndale? It's impossible to tell. He was a devout Catholic, but Protestantism didn't exist at the time, and would he (who was the first of English kings to publish official state documents in English) hate the idea of translating the Bible into English so ordinary people could understand it without the help of clergy? I really don't know, and it's even harder to tell what his heirs would be like in that regard. Would there be more religious tolerance in England? For all we know, it might even be less if a particularly fanatical monarch ended up on a throne... but at least I think I can say with some certainty that English monarchs of this hypothetical York dynasty would have no personal and dynastic reasons to persecute either Protestants or Catholics the way monarchs of the Tudor dynasty had due to their specific circumstances.

[zaruba-needslove]

Times I wonder if some people were overthinking too hard on some of the initial motivations for many of Geats major and minor characters.

Like how some people claim that D may appear to be an AH but they might actually be a nice person because of the wish they make and their back stories... or how C's wish might seem pretty shallow but it's actually pretty deep and reflected their past etc...

I mean for real...

Aside from Ace... I doubt any of the DGP players had time to think up any long-term goals when they make their wish. So their wishes that they wrote down on their cards shouldn't be too deep, even if you'd argue that the wishes weren't made rashly.

Like how Tanba's wish was to be young again, i doubt that the old man really made a thorough plan on what he gonna do once he got that wish come true or WHY he wanted so much to be young again to justify risking his life for it. Tanba probably only thought if he could be young again he don't have to worry about how he gonna spend the rest of his old age by himself in the current short term. The same should be for many of the minor or major players in the series.

Like take Keiwa for example. When he arrived at the Desire Temple with everyone and suddenly they were asked to write in a wish, did anyone took note at how much time given for players to think up a wish and write it down on their card? Not very long... esp when no one was being told of all the finer details and hidden traps that waits them should they sign up as player. If people were told of all the risks involved, would they recklessly write in their wish recklessly? Had ppl known that they'd die for real if they get killed by the Jyamato, won't their resolve start to waver... like what happened to Win's friend? And seriously, had anyone able to think deeply about their wishes... they wouldn't have written such reckless wishes.

Back to Keiwa, when he wrote down the World Peace wish... I doubt he really thought too deep about the wish. To Keiwa, at that point he can't think up on any wish that he would want... so he settled on his usual standard answer. World Peace. Because that should be a good wish, right? A world where people are happy, no war no disease etc... if only that was so simple, right? No. Because that wish was too vague. Yet it was accepted into the system, unlike A's wish to see Mitsume. Why? Because in the end, the GM would determine HOW the wish be fulfilled. Like how Ace's wish of turning the DGP management as his family only really affect Girori and Tsumuri, and not all of the hidden staff of the DGP including Win. Likewise, had Keiwa won his first DGP... his 'World Peace' probably only really affect just Keiwa's 'world'. Since it's not like Keiwa actually specify the wish exactly. Regardless, the only reason Keiwa's wish for world peace at the end of the show become a well-thought wish compared to his first world peace wish that Keiwa wrote down was because so many things had happened in between that makes Keiwa think deeply what 'world peace' really meant for him. Not just a standard answer like what a Miss World candidate might answer to appear virtuous or pure, but something [Sakurai Keiwa] would deeply wish.

In short, Keiwa's first world peace wish DO NOT reflect who Keiwa really was. Because no one would have clear knowledge of what they are from the start.

This above point is important for what comes after this.

I would use this same argument to all the other main characters. Aka Ace, Neon, (Win), Daichi... and even Michi.

Like when Ace wrote down his wish to meet Mitsume, and other subsequent roundabout wishes to get to her; all he cared about was reuniting with mama. Ace cared NOTHING about other people... but then he met Keiwa and stuff and Ace's wish for Mitsume (which was for her to be happy -which strange enough, mirrors Keiwa's who made their wish for Sara) evolved into a wish to grant happiness to everyone. Like Keiwa, that wish (and sacrifice) Ace made was not something Ace thought up on a whim. Like Keiwa, Ace's initial wish was not reflective of their whole personality.

Let's get to Neon. Cos I had some1 telling me about some random post saying that Neon's wish for true love wasn't shallow but actually really deep. And i just-- Guys? Do we forget how sheltered Neon's life used to be? How her idea of finding 'happiness' was for her to meet her prince charming who'll give her a happy ending like some dis-knee story? Her initial wish was really just THAT. And it's likely not for some reason some overthinking ppl projected themselves to what they imagined Neon's 11 years of life could be. Neon's initial wish for 'true love' was most likely stemmed from her idealistic image of a loved one as well as a desire to live freely (without needing constant protection cos she's a rich heir who face risks of getting kidnapped for ransom all the time). Like why else was mom trying to find a suitor for her, aside from wanting to give her a secure life? (since Neon's life was always so sheltered). So since mum was trying to get her to marry, she might as well wish for someone she could truly love, right?

Neon's initial wish was really as shallow as it was. Like really, even if she won her initial DGP I doubt she'd really get her 'true love'. Because the wish might end up just 'brainwashing' a random person near Neon to be her prince charming. But would that really be 'true love'?

Yet Neon's wish for true love did become much deeper than it initially was (but it definitely did NOT happen until at least the Dezastar arc, because only starting then she had a much clearer idea of what kind of love she was looking for and it's not just abt finding a husband, but finding true happiness). Still, it didn't change the fact that Neon did used to wish for a superficial wish, and willing to sacrifice other people's wish to get her own fulfilled. Neon's wish to find her prince charming in the end of the show was definitely not the same wish she made at the beginning, because this time... she had a clear image of what her prince charming should be. And that prince is Kyuun.

And now we come to the main root of contention. Which was someone's wish to [Crush all Kamen Riders]. Because someone claimed that a certain cow was thinking about the 'good of humanity' when they make that wish and STUCK to it until almost near the end.

That wish about crushing the Kamen Riders? it's just a plain simple wish. Because (some) Kamen Riders made his friend get killed so he wanted every other Kamen Rider to die. While cow might have thought of a 'deeper, noble' reason of why he needed the power to why he wanted to fight as a kamen rider later on (which may stem from a sudden newfound guilt for 'killing' Sara in front of Keiwa), it still doesn't change the fact that the dude did wish for the ability for his Rider system to bypass the DGP Rider system's safety features that prevents any DGP rider to cause physical damage to another DGP rider just to allow him to take his (supposed) revenge on Tohru's killers (whom he still have no idea who). And those two things had nothing to do with each other, since the reason why someone wanted the power to crush Kamen Rider was because Tohru died. He just wanted that power for revenge. Like seriously it's not that complicated.

Like seriously if you're the cow and you just saw your ONLY friend being pulverised literally in front of you. Would your first thought be 'I wanted a power to save the people from their own greed'? NO. You'd just wish for a power to destroy everything that had a hand in causing the friend to die stupidly even if you may end up dragging along some innocent ppl cos your anger caused you to have tunnel vision and only see the object of your final goal. Which is..... all kamen riders be destroyed by you.

Like really, we're talking about a character whose strategy was just 'pick a target and rush forward' like a bull being taunted by a matador to rush blindly at them. You expect this guy to think about stuff in a big picture?

😃😃😃😃😃😃

That said, as much as I'm commenting about some people overthinking things over plot stuff that was just plain simplistic, here I am making super ass long meta post because I had too much thoughts about stuff and gets stupidly bothered when some people are spreading misinformation about fictional stuff 😃

I should be better off writing porn about characters that i extremely dislike 😂😂😂😂

[bellaxgiornata]

As one of the best MattxReader writers, what do you think would happen if Reader gets pregnant with Matt's child? Do you think Matt would hang up the suit to be a present father? Maybe at the request of the Reader, being afraid their child would possibly grow up fatherless due to Matt's dangerous night activitie

Or continue being the Devil to "make the world a better place for his kid to grow up in"?

Oh wow, friend, that is quite high praise for my writing! Thank you so much! I know there are a lot of talented and wonderful writers for Matt so I'm flattered you feel that way about my writing ❤️ Thank you 😭 And because this got really long I'm putting my answer below the cut 😅

As for your question, it's something that you'll see explored in Seeking Forgiveness and way later in FFTD. Personally though, I will say I could never see Matt abandoning his own child. I mean, that's exactly what his mother did to him. And it's also what he feels his father did when he won that match knowing he'd be killed for it. Matt has deep trauma around the idea and fear of being abandoned, so I without a doubt don't think he'd ever walk away from his own kid.

Now, as for hanging up the suit? Absolutely not. He'd never give it up for anything and I think anyone who was with him and loved him would have to accept that and everything that means. But do I think he could compromise? Absolutely. I think it would take work and he'd fail often, but I think he could try to find some semblance of a balance. Though most times things would sway in favor of the Devil. Matt is a flawed man after all, he's certainly not perfect. So I don't believe a partner begging him to quit would work--we saw how he failed to give it up once before. He'd probably use that as an excuse to continue--saying he was making the city safer for his child--but I think he also knows he just needs that side of himself, too.

Though I will say if a situation came up that was serious enough or life threatening and meant picking being there for his family or being the Devil, he'd pick his family in the end. We saw how he gave up that chance to go after Fisk in season 3 to save Karen instead. So I think there's also that to mention--he would be there if he was really needed.

Thank you so much for that thought provoking question! It's one I've thought about a few times before but I always come to that same conclusion. Matt would die as Daredevil unless he somehow willingly gave it up in old age (if he kept himself alive that long). But I also do not believe that man would walk away from his own child, even if he thought he'd be a terrible father.

[sovonight]

xadri dialogue scraps

Radri: I don't think that'll happen. I'll have a choice—and if I'm not given one, I'll make it. I have a stronger will than this taint on my soul, remember? How many times now have I fought it, and won?

Xan: But it only takes one defeat for…

Xan: (sigh) No, I will not say it. At worst, I will have sown doubt into your mind, when doubt could be fatal.

Xan, quiet, tentatively, honest: I know it may not always show… but I believe in you, Estel'amin. If there is a way, you will find it.

Radri gives him a soft smile, and finds his hand, grasping it.

Radri: I know.

—

Xan, quiet: It only takes one defeat.

Radri, coaxing: Can't you believe in me for a moment?

Xan: I do. I always do… but my belief counts for very little.

———

Radri: I can't even really picture it. Slowing down… Being able to stay in one place again… (thinking of the Underdark) Being able to choose it.

Xan: Where would you choose?

Radri: Well…

Radri: …It can't be Baldur's Gate.

Xan: Why not?

Radri: They know about me there.

Xan: …Radri, if that is the metric, the entire Sword Coast knows about you. Therefore, nowhere within a reasonable traveling distance is acceptable. Besides… I may have already purchased a property in the city.

Radri: …

Radri: What?!

Xan, sheepish: You heard me well enough, I think.

Radri: A—A property. As in—a house?

(Xan just nods, and Radri gawks at him)

Xan: I saw it on the way out of the city, and seeing as I was already carrying a large amount of coin that would be dangerous to travel with on the road, I made the purchase. For the price I paid, I suspect there may be something sinister about it—perhaps some ancient evil hiding within the basement—but knowing you, you would find that challenge a feature. (He glances at her) Of course, if you do not like it, we can sell it.

Radri: I… I…

(Lost for words, she just stares at him, then,)

Radri: I can never hear you complain about my rushing into battle again. You just bought a house on impulse? Did you spend your entire share of the reward on it?

Xan, kind of miffed/insulted: No, thankfully. I still needed funds to travel. But if you'll remember, I was robbed upon my arrival in Athkatla, so it was ultimately for the best.

Radri: No, I'm not criticizing, just shocked!

Radri: I haven't thought about returning to Baldur's Gate. I… I don't know what they would think of me. I wish I could step into the city anew—neither hero nor Bhaalspawn. Maybe a disguise, could…

Xan: (sigh) If you go down that path, you will wind up sneaking everywhere—and what kind of respite will the city make then? Let them think what they will, and watch them soon forget you. Human cities have such short memories; it is one of their few benefits.

Xan: Of course, should anyone still think so poorly of you that they dare attempt to hurt you, they will soon be met with a spell to the face.

(Radri glances up at him with a surprised little smile)

Radri: Oh? They would?

Xan, rolling his eyes, secretly glad she perked up: How did I know that a threat of violence would cheer you?

Radri: Only because it's so rare for you, and I know you only say it for my benefit. (She kisses his cheek) …Thank you, Tahlimil.

—

Radri: I just don't think I'll ever be able to forget what they thought of me. I'd rather have not left an impression at all—hero or Bhaalspawn.

Xan: You sound as if you would rather be a ghost, passing through unseen.

Xan: But you are alive, Estel'amin. You cannot help but write yourself into memory wherever you go. Will you propose next that we always travel, lest you build any history, anywhere, at all?

Xan: Let them think what they will of you—and let them forget you. Human cities have such short memories, after all. It is one of their few benefits.

Radri, thinking that over: …I suppose so.

———

Xan: Now… now, I must confess, I dream of our future.

Radri: What do you imagine?

Xan: Well, I have not thought on it long, but…

Xan: Perhaps the evening finds us in separate rooms—I, in the library, and you, in the study, not to be disturbed—and I pester you with spectral touches until you storm down to meet me, only to melt in my arms.

Radri, amused: Why do both of our plans involve kissing it better?

Xan: Because it is a chance to exercise the influence we have on each other—to be one of the few that can soothe the other's annoyance so swiftly through a gesture of love?

Xan: But that is only one version of events—in the other, you react to my teasing with delight, and descend the steps silently to return my attention in kind.

Xan: What do you think? Are you displeased with me, or delighted?

Radri: I think I would have to experience your means of summoning me, first.

———

Xan: Do I detect a hint of irritation in your voice? Are you displeased with me, beloved? If so, you must say it, for our bond has informed me only of your sense of anticipation.

(Her heartbeat is rising, and he's not wrong, but he knows very well every facet of what she's feeling—he just wants to hear her say it.)

Radri, relenting: …Perhaps I am.

Xan: "Am"…?

(He's prompting, teasing, trying to get her to say it. She huffs.)

Radri: …Irritated. …With you.

(It's short lived, and even as she says it, it's already given way to her wondering what he has in store. Through the bond, a brief glow of satisfaction comes through from him; outwardly, Xan sighs.)

Xan: I see. What shall I do? Shall I remove myself from your presence? Shall I kneel and ask for your mercy?

Xan: Or would you permit me to earn back your favor, which I have so foolishly lost?

—

(Xan meets her eyes very seriously)

Xan: I cannot live knowing that you hold even an ounce of irritation towards me. I swear to you, whatever I may have done to lose your favor, I will stop at nothing to earn it back.

Radri, fighting a smile: You are so ridiculous.

Xan: Is this the source of your ire? Shall I be more solemn and contemplative?

———

(Xan holds her closer, and kisses her hair; Radri only seems to melt further against him.)

Xan, softly: Am I forgiven already?

Radri, murmuring: You always were.

Xan: Then shall I cast dimension door, and take us into our bedroom?

Radri: …Our bed is right there.

Xan, kissing her: In our dream, Estel'amin.

(Radri's smile grows, and she laughs against him)

Radri: What a waste of a dimension door.

Xan: I beg to differ; in times of peace and quiet, this is the exact use of dimension door. For lazy convenience.

(Radri draws back at last, looking up into Xan's eyes with a dreamy grin)

Radri: Whisk us away, then, enchanter.

———

(Radri, waiting, holds her arms out to him)

Radri: Hurry here.

(She's aware she's being more demanding than usual, but she misses his warmth, and Xan is willing to comply. Still, he takes the time to bow by the bed)

Xan, dryly, jokingly: Yes, my goddess.

(Radri makes a face, and Xan can't help an amused raise of his brow)

Xan: I suppose a reimagining of us as goddess and chosen is off the table?

Radri: As if you even want it to stay on.

Xan: Or perhaps I could be your high priest, or your willing sacrifice…

(Radri's distressed frown deepens)

Radri: Just come here, please. As you are.

Xan, smiling: Yes, Estel'amin.

(He joins her, and props himself over her reclined form to lean down and kiss her on the forehead; she reaches up and pulls him down to her, and he folds easily, his legs tangling into hers, his weight on her a comforting one. He shifts to the side, so that his weight will move off her chest, and though she lets him, her arms don't leave his shoulders, and she hooks one of her legs around his.)

Xan: It's as though I've been captured in an entangle spell.

(Radri peeks up at him, miffed, and Xan hugs her back and kisses her hair)

Xan: A rather beautiful and charming one, of course.

Radri, murmuring: You're beautiful and charming.

Xan: It echoes compliments, too? Has spellcraft gone too far?

(Radri breaks into a small smile, hiding it even though she knows Xan can already feel the glow of her contentment.)

———

Radri: I love you, Tahlimil. I will never leave you, or resent you, or tire of you… (She kisses him between words)

Xan: Tire of me? Now there is another one to worry about.

Radri, smiling against him: You know I would be apart from you for all of three days before I began missing you again.

Xan: Three days?

Radri: Hmm, two, then. (She kisses him again on the cheek)

Xan: If you continue counting down, you will soon imply that you would miss me even when I'm by your side, and that would mean something is gravely wrong, indeed.

Radri, laughing: Perhaps you should stop me from counting down, then.

———

Xan: I am grateful to have you, Estel'amin.

(Her face warms, glad for his closeness)

Radri, quietly: …I'm grateful to have you, too. I don't know where I would be without you.

Xan, light amused huff: The same place you are now, I'm sure.

Radri: …No. I wouldn't be right here, with you in my arms… I wouldn't have your name on my tongue, or your heart within mine…

Radri: I would be deprived of you. And I wouldn't even know what a tragedy that was.

Xan, touched, hiding it: And to think, I assumed that I was the one with a penchant for dramatics between us. You speak as if I am as essential as the air within your lungs.

Radri: You are.

(He kisses her fondly on the cheek)

Xan: You are far too sweet, Estel'amin.

Radri: …You don't believe me.

Xan: I do. I believe your love…

Xan: But a thousand other men could have stood in my place. Devoted themselves to you as I have. Thrown themselves at your mercy, for the merest brush with your affection. They would have served you just as well.

Radri: Please don't say that anyone else could replace you. You know they couldn't.

Xan, sighing: Radri…

(He trails off at the sincere look in her eyes)

Radri: You're the only one it could've been.

(She leans in to kiss him; he accepts, eyes falling closed, letting her take the lead for once.)

[jokertrap-ran]

[スタオケ] La Corda d'Oro Starlight Orchestra Osakabe Seiji Cast Story Chapter 2 Translation

*Starlight Orchestra Masterlist | Osakabe Seiji's Personal Masterlist *Spoiler free: Translations will remain under cut *Osakabe's Route Tag will be #Seiji's Star

Seiji: You’re awfully cheery today, Ryuzaki. Did something good happen?

Hayate: Yeah. Bando-san contacted me recently, and it’s been a long time since we last talked to each other!

Seiji: Bando-san? Now that’s a familiar name.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Hayate: Oh, you don’t know? Bando-san’s a member of last year’s Starlight Orchestra. He’s currently attending university in another prefecture.

Seiji: He’s a tuba enthusiast.

Hayate: Well, you don’t really see people who are as enthusiastic about it as he is, that’s for sure.

Hayate: He’s still keeping up with those daily training runs he’s been doing ever since his time in the Starlight Orchestra.

Hayate: How nostalgic…

Seiji: Ahh… I’ve heard that those were good for helping increase one’s lung capacity.

Seiji: I didn’t get the chance to join in on that, but that sounds more like something a sports club would do.

Seiji: But, come to think of it now, I remember that you were always doing it with them despite being part of the strings.

Hayate: I was invited, so I figured I might as well build some stamina.

Hayate: I remember as clear as day that he’d often lament about how you’d always turn him down, claiming that you were too busy.

Seiji: …I’m grateful for the invitation, but our schedules never matched.

Hayate: There were even plans for everyone to go running together if we went to Vienna to represent Japan.

Seiji: Oh? I suppose he’s making the best out of his youth.

Hayate: Yeah. I bet it’d make for some unforgettable memories if it actually happened.

Hayate: If it wasn’t for Glanz… It looks like Bando-san’s still pretty hung up about it even now.

Seiji: …

Hayate: We have to defeat Glanz this year and take the world stage.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Hayate: Oh, right! Why don’t we invite him to our concert?

Hayate: It’s a brilliant chance to show him just how much the Starlight Orchestra has grown.

Seiji: Good idea. I’m sure he’ll be pleased.

Hayate: Now we’re talking! I’ll go get Narumiya to procure a ticket for us.

Seiji: Ryuzaki seems to be in pretty high spirits after getting into contact with an old friend.

Seiji: There’s even a considerable spring in his steps, so much that he may just as likely start skipping as he walks.

Seiji: …Hm?

Seiji: Did something I said pique your interest?

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Seiji: …We have starkly different levels of enthusiasm?

Seiji: How observant of you. I’d almost praise you for it, but…

Seiji: Running in Vienna sounds like a beautiful dream.

Seiji: I'm almost sorry to burst his bubble, but I find it hard to picture a dream like that.

Seiji: Even if Glanz wasn’t in the picture last year, I doubt the Starlight Orchestra would ever be able to take to the world stage.

Seiji: If it truly were an Orchestra capable of taking to the world stage, then I wouldn’t have been able to join them in the first place.

▷Choice: But you won 4th place, didn’t you…?

Seiji: A mere fourth isn’t anything special.

Seiji: A “proper” Orchestra would have even more stringent rules that they’d all have to adhere to.

Seiji: This means that they’ll most likely do background checks on all applicants. And that would make it impossible for someone like me to join them.

Seiji: Though, Ryuzaki is still adamant that last year’s Starlight Orchestra had also been faring pretty well as a “proper” Orchestra,

Seiji: Well, if accepting almost anyone from all walks of life is what makes the Starlight Orchestra stand out from the others, then I suppose the current Starlight Orchestra can be considered a legitimate successor.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

???: (L/n)-san!

Teacher: Thank goodness I managed to catch up to you in time!

Teacher: I needed to pass this document to Osakabe Seiji, you see, and he's part of the Starlight Orchestra.

The document seems to list the entry requirements for a competition.

Teacher: I was wondering if he'd like to participate in another competition again. Of course, that depends on whether he's interested.

Teacher: Osakabe-kun has potential, you see.

Teacher: And apparently, the reason why he came fourth in the Concours last year was because he refused to play the second piece in the finals and withdrew.

Teacher: The outcome might have been different had he remained till the end.

Teacher: That's why I'm hoping that he'll participate in this competition.

Teacher: If he wants to be taught by a music teacher, or if he wants to join Seiso Academy’s music department…

Teacher: Please tell him to contact me, regardless. I will do my best to support him on all fronts.

Teacher: Sorry, but I hope you can help convey my message to him!

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Seiji: …Oh? You're still here?

Seiji: Hm? What's that document you have there?

Seiji: Ahh, information about the Concours? I've already heard about it.

Seiji: What’s the matter? If you have something to say, then out with it.

▷Choice: You withdrew from the finals back then…?

Seiji: Oh dear, I see that word has reached you.

Seiji: I see. That explains why you look so grim.

Seiji: …Dear me.

Seiji: I did waste a great opportunity, but can't you forgive me for having withdrawn?

Seiji: You're way too serious, just like Ryuzaki.

Seiji: I'll take the document though. See you next time.

☆ ━━━━━━━ ∘◦♬Seiji’s Star♬◦∘ ━━━━━━━ ☆

Previous Part: (Chapter 1) Next Part: (Chapter 3)

[iruludavare]

(( ✘ is there someone you really truly hate? ))

Truth asks || Accepting

(1/10)

          "I try not to hate anyone. I... I don't think it is a productive use of my time or energy. If someone does wrong by me or others, if someone hurts me in a way I cannot forgive... I don't want them to have the satisfaction of seeing it. Some people say the opposite to love isn't hate but indifference... and to a certain degree, I believe that. So, that's what I do. Or try to. They don't deserve to derive any pleasure from seeing anything of me— not my thoughts, not my emotions. Nothing,"

          "...I've tried not to hate him. I don't know why— by all means, I should hate him. He offered me kindness and understanding when I was most vulnerable. But he wasn't being kind or understanding. It was nothing more than a farce. To slowly chip away at my beliefs, my very core, until I was pliable enough to convince me to join his cause. Have someone who could wield Mega Evolution, or a trainer who showed promise, likely to carry out dirty work and force people into line. That's... what I think now, anyway. He had asked a few times, throughout my journey. Even as I actively stood against him after the announcement, he still kept telling me to reconsider. Thankfully, even when I was left for dead, outnumbered and fading, I never succumbed to the offer. I held my ground."

          "Part of me still hopes that even the slightest bit of his act was real— that him being a mentor of mine wasn't all just... just a massive waste of time that's only left behind memories I now have to call into question every time they surface. For a long while, I could not tell what were my own thoughts and values, and what had been influenced by him. I... still doubt myself, every now and then."

          "What's more... I cannot forgive him for his plans. To wipe the world of life, but immortalise the things that fit his twisted definition of beauty. I don't care how many times in his life he was slighted— a few bad actors does not mean the world is beyond saving or in a state of absolute disrepair. He was at the forefront of society, with enough power to make a change at a fundamental level— change the actions of those in charge and exploiting the everyday person—, but instead... he chose the most selfish option of them all. An 'ugly' one, as he would have put it. He was a coward. He became the very thing he claimed to despise and think to be the lowest form of humanity, but placed the blame on everyone else."

          "He hurt the professor. He hurt several families. He hurt me. He hurt everyone around him. For someone constantly pontificating about how people ought to give more than take... he took more than anyone else I have ever known, or ever will. I would not be surprised if investigations into his life find that he is guilty of everything he said others did. That they were never accusations, but confessions he thought could vanish if he pawned them off onto others."

          "I think... it speaks far too much about his true character when instead of killing me when he had the chance, he inflicted on me what he considers to be the most excruciating, worst form of existence— endlessly waiting for a 'beautiful' world to be built. That is why I try to not hate him. If he can see me angry, if he can see me cry, if he can hear me doubt myself... he's won. And I take no greater pleasure in doing what I know would annoy him the most— pretending he never existed."

          "...Lysandre. I hate Lysandre. I truly hate him and everything he stood for."