#i really dont know much about the dude other than he likes experimenting (fuck yeah) but i should really look into the lore

[mint-silver]

Complete accident but I noticed when looking at my kingdom that I made the mycookie look super similar to butter roll. Oops lmao

[wickjump]

Please? 🥺

omg you all really do love me.... (theres another ask but i hit the 30 image limit so pretend theres another one here sorry). this is gonna be all over the place cause im like that. if this gets over 100 notes ill make a cross shrine in my room

OK!!!!!!! CROSS SANS TIME....

GRGRGRHRHRHHRN OKAY FIRST OF ALL. FROM AN OBJECTIVE STANDPOINT HE WAS MONUMENTAL TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THIS FANDOM. HE IS PART OF LITERALLY THE FANDOMS BIGGEST PROJECT(S) (UNDERVERSE AND XTALE THE SERIES). HIS EXISTENCE IS LITERALLY THE REASON THIS FANDOM HAS THRIVED FOR SO LONG AFTER SO MANY YEARS. UNDERVERSE IS KEY TO THE FANDOMS SURVIVAL AND CROSS IS A CORE PART OF IT.

HIS STORY IS A FUCKING MASTERPIECE. YEAH I MIGHT BE BIASED BUT SHUT UP. HIS STORY BROUGHT TOGETHER A LOT OF THE FANDOMS IDEAS IN A VISUAL SENSE LIKE NEVER BEFORE. HE EXISTS IN A WORLD THAT IS SO FAR FROM UNDERTALE YET NOT FAR ENOUGH TO BE LIKE DREAMTALE. HE HELPED ESTABLISH THE UNDERTALE MULTIVERSE AS A WHOLE. HE IS A PRODUCT OF A WORLD MADE BY A MEGALOMANIAC (get it) THAT HAS GONE THROUGH TEN WHOLE REBIRTHS. THOUGH HE WASNT A CORE PART OF IT UNTIL THE END OF TIMELINE X, HE ALSO PLAYED A SIGNIFICANT PART IN TIMELINE 2 WHERE HE AND FRISK DEVELOPED THEIR FIRST FRIENDSHIP WITH EACH OTHER AND THEN HE DIED AND AND. CROSS IS SO FAR FROM WHO HE WAS IN EVERY PAST REBIRTH. TIMELINE 1 IS JUST A COPY PASTE OF SANS. TIMELINE 2 IS SOME WEIRD AMALGAMATION OF SANS AND SWAP. TIMELINE 9 (I FORGOT THE ROMAN NUMERAL) STRAYS MORE TOWARDS CLASSIC SANS THAN NOT. AND TIMELINE X HE IS FULL SWAP. AND THAT MUST BE FUCKING WILD TO EXPERIENCE BECAUSE WHILE HE DIDNT GET THE MEMORIES OF PREVIOUS TIMELINES LIKE THE OTHER AU INHABITANTS DID HE FOUND OUT ABOUT THE PREVIOUS TIMELINE REBIRTHS AND AND AND

HES A SWAP. HE IS A SWAP SANS. AND ILL DRILL THIS INTO YOUR MIND AS OFTEN AS I NEED TO. HE IS A SWAP SANS. HE EATS TACOS. HE HAS STARS FOR EYES. THINGS FLY OVER HIS HEAD. HE IS PHYSICALLY STRONG BUT NOT THAT SMART. HE MWEHEHEHS (KIND OF IMPLIED). COME ON DUDE. STOP FORGETTING THIS. MAKE HIM MWEHEHEH MORE. MAKE HIM STAR-EYES MORE WHEN CLASSICS JUST,,, DONT. I NEED THERE TO BE DIFFERENCES CUZ THERES SO MUCH POTENTIAL THERE COME ONNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

AAND THATS NOT EVEN TOUCHING ON HIS CHILDHOOD. HE WAS DEADASS VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSED BY XGASTER AND HEAVILY NEGLECTED AND WE IGNORE THIS FOR WHY??? HE WAS BEAT AS A KID HELLO??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! STOP MAKING HIM AN ALPHA GRR MALE AND BREAK DOWN THE WALLS HE WAS FORCED TO BUILD SINCE CHILDHOOD AND GIVE HIM A GOODDAMN SMORE ON A STICK AND WEIGHTED BLANKET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

what a perfectly healthy and normal way to look at your father

HE IS MY FAVORITE TO PROJECT ONTO HIM. HE GREW UP IN THE HOUSE OF A CONTROL FREAK WHO WAS NOT AGAINST USING PHYSICAL VIOLENCE AGAINST A CHILD SO YOUNG THEY HAVE TO USE A FUCKING STEP-STOOL TO REACH THE BATHROOM SINK. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT. HE IS LITERALLY THE PERFECT PROJECTION DOLL. SUFFERED CHILDHOOD TRAUMA? CROSS IS YA BOY. MAKE HIM SUFFER. CAUSE HE ALREADY HAS. I CAN MAKE HIM HAVE MY PTSD SYMPTOMS ALL I WANT CUZ HES ME FR!!!!!!

ALSO ALPHYS IS HIS SISTER HOLY SHIT CAN WE TALK ABOUT THAT MORE??? "OHH BUT TECHNICALLY ALPHYS ISNT AND XPAPYRUS SAID-" THEY GREW UP TOGETHER. WITH THE SAME MAN RAISING THEM. IN THE SAME HOUSE. THEY WENT AS GROUPS TO THINGS. THEY LIKELY WENT TO THE SAME SCHOOLS. THEY SAT AT THE DINNER TABLE TOGETHER. THEY PLAYED TOGETHER. THEY HUNG OUT WITH THE SAME FRIENDS AT THE SAME TIME. ALPHYS HAS A SPECIAL CARE FOR CROSS THAT SHE DOESNT SHOW FOR MOST OTHERS. AND SHES A LESBIAN SO DONT TWIST IT TO BE LIKE A CRUSH OR SOMETHING. THEY R SIBLINGS. THEYRE JUST FLAT OUT SIBLINGS. YEAH PAPYRUS SAID THEYRE NOT BUT PAPYRUS ALSO HAS DISTANCED HIMSELF A LOT FROM HIS FAMILY OVER THE YEARS MEANWHILE CROSS STAYED PUT MORE OFTEN THAN NOT. PAPYRUS HATES XGASTER AND HAS SHOWN THAT DISDAIN MANY MANY MANY MANY TIMES--EVEN EXTENDING THAT DISDAIN TOWARDS ALPHYS HERSELF. HE ONLY STAYS CONNECTED WITH CROSS AND I KNOW DAMN WELL A GOOD CHUNK OF HIS REASONING FOR THAT IS BECAUSE THEY LITERALLY WORK TOGETHER. CROSS HAS ALSO SHOWN THE DISDAIN FOR XGASTER BUT ALSO HOLDS A TYPE OF LONGING AND FEAR IN REFERENCE TO HIS FATHER. PLEASE. PLEASE. COME ON. GIVE ME THIS.

ALPHYS IS LITERALLY HIS SISTER. THEYRE SIBLINGS. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. PLEASE. THERES SO MUCH POTENTIAL THERE. HES THE ONLY SANS TO HAVE A SISTER. THE ONLY SANS THAT SEES ALPHYS AS A SISTER. HOW ISOLATED MUST THAT MAKE HIM FEEL. NOT ONLY IS HIS AU SUCH AN AMALGAMATION THAT HE CANT CORRECTLY RELATE WITH CLASSICS OR SWAPS, BUT HE CANT EVEN RELATE TO ANYONE ABOUT ALPHYS. WILD SHIT.

OKAY ANYWAY. AFTER EVERYTHING CROSS WENT THROUGH AS A KID EVENTUALLY HE DISCOVERED HIS DAD WASNT JUST AN ABUSIVE POS BUT ALSO THAT HE CONTROLS THE VERY WORLD HE LIVES IN AND THAT HE IS JUST A SMALL PART OF SOMETHING MUCH GREATER, ONLY INTRODUCED BECAUSE HE TRUSTED FRISK ENOUGH FOR HIM TO CHOOSE CROSS OUT OF EVERYONE. THAT EVERYTHING ABOUT THE WORLD HE LIVES IN IS BECAUSE OF HIS SHITASS DAD. AND HES CONFUSED AND HES ANGRY. AND HIS WORLDVIEW IS COMPLETELY SHATTERED. EVERYTHING HE KNEW WAS A LIE AND HE WAS ALWAYS UNDER XGASTER'S CONTROL. HOW FUCKED UP MUST THAT BE TO REALIZE. ALSO HE WAS STABBED A LOT BY HIS BEST FRIEND. DUDE LOST HIS SENSE OF EVERYTHING. SENSE OF SELF, OF WHO HE CAN TRUST, FAMILY, ETC. AND IT WAS EVEN MORE DRIVEN IN WHEN UNDYNE AND PAPYRUS LITERALLY ATTEMPTED TO KILL HIM. HELLO???

AND. CROSS' OWN NAME. HIS NAME WAS SANS FOR MOST OF HIS LIFE, BUT NOW HE CALLS HIMSELF CROSS AND WILL INSIST THAT NAME IS USED FOR HIM AT ALL TIMES (i know what you are...it fucken transgemder...). BUT THATS NOT. BUT THATS NOT EVEN CONSIDERING THE ONLY REASON HE GOT THAT NAME WAS BECAUSE OF FRISK SEMI-TAUNTING HIM WHILE CROSS WAS IN THE MIDST OF DYING IN HIS DREAM WORLD. THE ONLY THING CROSS HAS LEFT OF HIS BEST FRIEND IS THE NAME HE WAS GIVEN WHILST BLEEDING OUT FROM LIKE 20 STAB WOUNDS. AND YET CROSS IDENTIFIES WITH THAT NAME SO PAINFULLY MUCH HE WILL PHYSICALLY FIGHT AND KICK AND SCREAM TO HAVE IT USED. THE NAME SANS USED FOR HIM MAKES HIM RECOIL.

AND HIS DYNAMIC WITH CHARA??? PAINFULLY UNDERUSED SO SO PAINFULLY UNDERUSED. OH MY GOD. THEY COULD BE THE BROTHERS EVER BUT NOOO YOU HATE CHARA!!!!!! THEY BOTH WENT THROUGH SO MUCH FROM XGASTER AND LOST EVERYTHING THEY LOVE AND CARE ABOUT. BOTH WERE CLOSE TO FRISK. BOTH WERE ABUSED. IF YOU KEEP THE SCAR AND THE RED EYE YOU GOTTA KEEP CHARA THATS THE RULES MAN. SAYING HES LOCKED AWAY IS COWARD SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!

CHARA AND HE HAVE FUN BANTER. THEYRE EXCITING. EVERY FIC WITH CHARA WAS A BETTER READ AUTOMATICALLY BECAUSE I LOVE SEEING THEIR DYNAMIC AND ALSO I LOVE CHARA. THE WAY THEY BOTH HAVE DEVELOPED AS PEOPLE FOLLOWING THEIR TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCES AND ACROSS THE DURATION OF THE X-EVENT IS WILD AND AND AND I LOVE IT. THE PARALELLS BETWEEN CROSS AND CHARA, AND CHARA AND XGASTER. THERE IS SO MUCH HURT COMFORT POTENTIAL HELLO?? AND ANGST LIKE. IMAGINE HAVING TO STAY STILL AND NOT REACT AS A GHOST TEENAGER HURLS INSULTS AT YOU THAT HURT DEEPLY, TRYING TO GET A REACTION. IMAGINE THAT SAME GHOST TEENAGER SILENTLY CRYING TO HIMSELF WHEN HE THINKS YOURE ASLEEP. IMAGINE GOING TO A SECLUDED PLACE AND YELLING AT THAT GHOST TEENAGER THAT FOLLOWS YOU AROUND AFTER A DAY OF HAVING TO IGNORE HIM. IMAGINE THAT GHOST TEENAGER WITHHOLDING INFORMATION ABOUT YOUR PAST LIVES. IMAGINE THAT GHOST TEENAGER AND YOU TALKING THINGS OUT. IMAGINE THAT GHOST TEENAGER NAGGING YOU TO EAT CHICKEN NUGGETS BECAUSE HE REALLY WANTS CHICKEN NUGGETS BUT HE CANT CONTROL THE BODY SO CROSS HAS TO EAT THEM FOR HIM SO HE GETS THE SENSATION OF EATING AND THE TASTE OF SAID NUGGIES. IMAGINE BEING INJURED AND THE GHOST TEENAGER WHO HAS YELLED AT YOU MORE TIMES THAN YOU CAN COUNT IS TRYING TO KEEP YOU FOCUSED AND AWAKE AND WHILE HE CANT TOUCH YOU HES TRYING HIS BEST TO COMFORT YOU THE BEST WAY HE CAN BECAUSE YOU JUST STARTED TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER DAMMIT, YOU CANT DIE NOW. IMAGINE THAT GHOST TEENAGER REALIZING HE'S ACTING LIKE HIS ABUSIVE DAD WHEN HE YELLS AT CROSS WHAT XGASTER ONCE YELLED AT HIM. IMAGINE THAT GHOST TEENAGER POKING FUN AT CROSS' MISTAKES AND BEING LIKE AN ANNOYING LITTLE BROTHER. IMAGINE THEM DEFENDING EACH OTHERS' NAMES DESPITE THEIR DIFFERENCES BC THEYRE BROTHERS AND THATS WHAT BROTHERS DO. PLEEAAASEEEE.

ALSO THE POTENTIAL HE HAS WITH TORIEL IS REALLY CUTE AND IGNORED. SHES KIND OF LIKE A MOTHER FIGURE TO HIM IDK.... HE DESERVES A MOM I FEEL. EVEN THOUGH SHE WAS MORE LIKE AN AUNT (asriel calls xgaster "uncle") I REALLY LOVE THE IDEA OF THE DREEMURRS BEING PARENTAL TO CROSS. I MEAN. LOOK AT THEM.

HE AND METTATON ARE SO FUNNY TOO BECAUSE THEY HATE EACH OTHERS GUTS SO MUCH. WHICH IS WILD BECAUSE CROSS IS FRISK'S BEST FRIEND, YET METTATON WAS MADE TO PROTECT FRISK. BUT THEY HATE EACH OTHER. AND ITS SO FUNNY. do you think cross is curt with literally every mettaton he sees out of habit. i mean come on LOOK AT THEM. THEYRE SO STUPID.

ALSO CROSS IS SO FUCKING SHORT OH MY GOD. HES 4 FOOT 7 (i thought he was 5 feet until a few days ago cuz that was his old height). i need you to process this. like actually. i am 5'5. i would be 9 inches taller than him. i would be nine inches taller than him. 4'11? 4 inches taller than his tiny ass. he is literally so small. PLEASE make him tiny more often ill be so appreciative. he needs help reaching the cabinets

HES ALSO A FUCKING CUTIE PATOOTIE. HES GOT LITTLE FANGS. HES GOT FANGS!! BITEY BOYS!!!!!!!!! HES GOT FANGS AND THEYRE SHARP!! HE PROBABLY BITES HIS TONGUE SO VERY MUCH!!!!!!!! BITEY BOY. HE WAS A BITER AS A KID TOO. COME ON. EVEN IN UNDERVERSE HES GOT BIG ASS FANGS. ITS NOT JUST A STYLE CHOICE HES LITERALLY A BITEY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HES GOT SHARP TEETHERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! he probably needed chew toys as a kid (so did i)`

AND HIS MOUTH. THE WAY ITS ALEWAYS LIKE THIS. HES ALWAYS GOT THAT STUPID LITTLE CHEEK. HE JUST. HES SO.. RGGRGRGRGGRGRROWLS I LOVE HIM!! HE IS SO SILLAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

AND HES SO SMUG TOO ALL THE TIME. HE HAS SOME SUPERIORITY COMPLEX AT ALL TIMES. LOOK AT HIS SMUG FUCKING FACE. LOOK AT HIM. DUMBASS. HE DOES THIS SIGNATURE BASTARD THING WHERE HE TURNS HIS HEAD TO THE SIDE WITH A SCOFF. HE IS SO PRISSY. SO UPTIGHT ALL THE TIME. GOD

hes such a FUCKING MENACE TOO. LOOK AT THIS ASSHOLE.

HES TERRIBLE. HES SUCH A DICK. HES A MENACE AND SHOULD BE KEPT ON A LEASH. HES A SMUG IDIOT WHO THINKS HES BETTER THAN SO MANY PEOPLE AND HE IS MEAN AND SORT OF FULL OF HIMSELF AND DEFINITELY ACTS LIKE MOST PEOPLE FROM THE MILITARY IVE MET. which is fitting because hes FROM THE XTALE MILITARY. "ROYAL GUARD" IN XTALE IS JUST DEADASS THE MILITARY. HIS STUPID SELF WENT TO BOOT CAMP. AND YET HES LIKE THIS. AWFUL. HES MEAN TO KIDS. HE LITERALLY STOLE A CHILD'S CHOCOLATE MILK. WHO DOES THAT. APPARENTLY CROSS DOES.

HE IS JUST. CANONICALLY AWFUL TO KIDS. HES NEEDLESSLY JUST. MEAN TO THEM. FOR NO REASON. HE DOESNT KNOW HOW TO HANDLE KIDS. WASNT GIVEN A GOOD EXAMPLE. TERRIBLE BABYSITTER. BUT ALSO HE'D CANONICALLY LOVE HIS DAUGHTER IF HE EVER HAD ONE.... HE DOESNT WANNA TREAT HIS CHILD LIKE HIS DAD TREATED HIM.... SIGHS... HE CALLS HIS DAUGHTER HIS PRINCESS WTF,,, HES A CUTIE PIE.!!!!!!!!!!! HE NEEDS 2 WORK THINGS OUT :(

AND AND AND. THE LITTLE WAYS HE CHOOSES TO REBEL. LIKE HIS NEW TERRIBLE AS HELL OUTFIT WITH THE BOOB WINDOW. WHICH I DONT LIKE. BUT ITS A WAY FOR HIM TO REBEL AGAINST WHAT HES FORCED TO BE HIS ENTIRE LIFE YADDA YADDA. THE OLD OUTFIT WAS BETTER BUT THE SYMBOLISM HERE IS NEAT. ANYWAY. THE LEFTOVER FEELINGS AND RAGE AND ANGER HE HAS FOR HIS FATHER BUT THE LONGING TO BE ACCEPTED AND LOVED BY HIM?!?!??!?!?!?! COME ON GUYS. WE CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS. WE CAN MAKE HIM HAVE MORE DADDY ISSUES

HE IS SO CONFLICTING FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! INTOXICATED ASSHOLE WANTS A HUG FROM HIS DAD BUT ALSO HATES HIS DAD SOOOOOOOOO MUCH.

ALSO LOOK AT HIM AS A DUMB CUTE LITTLE BABY. BABY BOY. FAT USELESS INFANT. ADORABLE. I LOVE HIM

HE DOESNT KNOW ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NOTHING AT ALL!!! SWEET BABY BOY...... HE KNOWS NOT OF THE HORRORS THAT AWAIT HIM!!!!!!

and hes a CRYBABY TOO AND I LOVE THAT FOR HIM. GRGHRGRRGRHWOLOWLSS

he was BORN A CRYBABY AND THATS HOW HE'LL DIE!!! AND NOBODY UTILIZES THIS BTW. IVE GOT LIKE FOUR OR FIVE OTHER PHOTOS OF HIM JUST CRYING IN SITUATIONS WHERE CRYING ISNT WARRANTED. BUT HE DOES. HE CRIES WHEN HE IS MILDLY FRUSTRATED. HE CRIES WHEN HE IS MILDLY ASHAMED. WHERE IS HIM CRYING OVER STUPID SHIT. WHERE IS HIM TAKING A JOKE TOO PERSONALLY AND HE TEARS UP AGAINST HIS WILL. WHERE IS HIM SOBBING IN HIS ROOM OVER SOMETHING SOMEONE SAID IN PASSING THAT HIT TOO HARD. WHY DOESNT HE CRY MORE. YOURE ALL PUSSIES. MAKE HIM CRY MORE OFTEN. CRYBABY CROSS. HE DESERVES 2 BE ONE AFTER BEING WARPED INTO AN ALPHA MALE FOR THE PAST EIGHT GODDAMN YEARS. FUCK

AND AND AND THATS NOT EVEN CLOSE TO TOUCHING HIS FANON INTERACTIONS WHICH I LOVE JUST AS MUCH. HOW EVERYONE INSTANTLY DECIDED HED HAVE A RIVALRY WITH KILLER GIVEN HOW CROSS IS EASY TO RILE UP AND FRUSTRATE WHILE KILLER IS THE BUTTON PUSHER?? GREAT SHIT. ALL OF YOU. GOOD JOB. ITS FUCKING BRILLIANT. THANK YOU.

CROSS JOINING NIGHTMARE'S GROUP IS MY FAVORITE INTERPETATION. SPECIFICALLY BECAUSE I KNOW HE WOULDNT WANT TO. CROSS IS FUCKED UP BUT HE HAS MORALS, HE STILL FOLLOWS THE ROYAL GUARD CODE MENTALLY. HE DOESNT LIKE KILLING. HE DOESNT AGREE WITH NEEDLESS MURDER. HE CAN HARM, SURE, BUT ALL THE DEATH WAS XCHARA'S DIRECT ACTIONS OR HEAVY INFLUENCE (love u xchara). CROSS WOULD LOATHE TO JOIN NIGHTMARES GROUP AS A LACKEY WHO GOES AROUND KILLING PEOPLE FOR NO GAIN TOWARDS HIMSELF. HE DOES WHAT HE DOES TO GET HIS AU BACK. JOINING NIGHTMARE'S TEAM WITH NO HELP TOWARDS THAT GOAL WOULD BE HELL ON HIM, EVEN IN A FANON SETTING. BECAUSE HE'D HATE IT. HE'S GONE FROM A RIGHTEOUS ROYAL GUARD WHO HELPED THOSE IN NEED TO SOMEONE WHO LIVES WITH A GROUP OF MURDERERS AND AIDS THEM IN THEIR KILLING OF INNOCENTS. i like to think cross doesnt kill, like he just. refuses to. he will hurt and incapacitate, but he doesn't kill. and he also refuses to harm children, papyri, alphys, whatever. there were times where he couldve killed one of the stars but he didn't and idk i like that. i like it when hes like that.

I ALSO LOVE FANON AND CANON DYNAMICS WITH NM'S GROUP EITHER AS A WHOLE OR AS INDIVIDIUALS. I LOVE KROSS SO OBVIOUSLY KILLER AND CROSS' DYNAMIC IS MY FAVORITE. I LOVE RIVALS. I LOVE PEOPLE WHO CANT STAND EACH OTHER. I LOVE IT WHEN KILLER BUGS CROSS UNTIL HE SNAPS AND THATS WHEN THEIR DYNAMIC GETS MORE INTERESTING. I LOVE IT WHEN CROSS GETS RILED UP AND ANGRY. I LOVE IT WHEN HES MAD AND GOT ISSUES. I LOVE IT WHEN KILLER EGGS HIM ON BECAUSE ITS FUNNY. I LOVE WHEN THEY REACH A DEEPER UNDERSTANDING.

HORROR AND DUST... MAN. I LOVE DUST AND CROSS' DYNAMIC THE MOST OUT OF THE TWO JUST CAUSE DUST IS ONE OF MY FAVORITES. THEY BOTH HAVE GHOST BROTHERS (EVEN IF ONE ISNT EXACTLY REAL). DUST IS PARANOID AND JITTERY BUT MOST OF ALL QUIET, HE DOESNT PICK FIGHTS LIKE KILLER DOES SO CROSS LIKES HIM FOR THAT. THEY HANG AROUND IN SILENCE I THINK,,,

HORROR MAKES CROSS THINK OF HOME IN A WAY BECAUSE OF HOW HE COOKS AND WHAT HE COOKS. HORROR IS VERY RUMBLY AND SORT OF LIKE A GREAT DANE AND DEFINITELY VERY INTIMIDATING AT FIRST. HE SCARED OFF CROSS SO SO MUCH AT FIRST. I THINK CROSS ASKING HIM TO MAKE LIKE TACOS OR A BUTTERSCOTCH CINNAMON PIE WAS WHEN THEY STARTED 2 GET CLOSER. BUT THATS CAUSE I LOVE THEM AS A SHIP TOO SO YOU MIGHT BE GETTING SOME UNDERTONES. THATS WHY. HOWEVER THERES ALSO ANGST POTENTIAL GIVEN THE DIFFERENCE IN THEIR ALPHYS'. HORROR LOBOTOMIZED HER. CROSS WAS RAISED ALONGSIDE HER. LOVELY

NIGHTMARE IS A SUPER COOL CHARACTER IN UNDERVERSE I FEEL. NOT JUST BECAUSE HE IS VIOLENCE ITSELF BUT BECAUSE OF HOW MANIPULATIVE HE WAS. IN CANON IT WOULDNT BE TOO HARD TO MANIPULATE CROSS INTO FULLY JOINING, EXCEPT IN UNDERVERSE HE DIDNT HAVE A TEAM, JUST KILLER. IF HE DID, I DONT DOUBT HE COULD MANIPULATE CROSS INTO JOINING. CROSS HAD LOST EVERYTHING, AND HE WOULD DO ANYTHING TO GET HIS WORLD, HIS FAMILY, BACK. IN FANON, NIGHTMARE IS A LOT MORE A "take you under my wing" KIND OF FIGURE I THINK!!!!!!!!!! HE CARES FOR CROSS IN THAT REGARD, TAKING IN A STUBBORN SOLDIER WHO LOST AS MUCH AS THE OTHER MEMBERS OF HIS TEAM. EITHER WAY I LIKE HIM. I THINK CROSS WOULD HATE HIS GUTS IN CANON, BECAUSE. HE DOES. YEAH. BUT IN A MORE FANON SETTING CROSS WOULD BE PAINFULLY LOYAL EVEN IF IT HURT HIM, BECAUSE CROSS IS USED TO SURRENDERING HIMSELF TO LOYALTY. HIS MORALS, HIS WANTS, NOTHING MATTERS WHEN HE HAS A JOB TO DO AND SOMEONE TO PLEASE. NIGHTMARE COULD VERY WELL BE THAT, THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN CANONMARE AND FANONMARE IS HOW NM REACTS.

AND EPIC. I LOVE YOU EPIC. I LOVE HIS DYNAMIC WITH EPIC. I LOVE HOW CROSS KNEW EPIC AND THEN FORGOT. AND THEN MET HIM AGAIN AND AND. GRGRRHRHH. HOW THEY WERE FRIENDS IN ANOTHER LIFE AND THEYRE FRIENDS IN THIS ONE TOO. HOW DESPITE HOW DIFFERENT CROSS IS NOW, EPIC STAYS. I LOVE HOW THEYRE CASUAL BESTIES. I LOVE HOW THEYRE SILLY TOGETHER AND WATCH EACH OTHER DO STUPID SHIT AND EGG EACH OTHER ON. I LOVE HOW THEYRE DUMB TOGETHER AND MAKE SILLY JOKES AND WATCH ANIME AND MAKE SILLY REFERENCES. I LOVE THEM. EVERYONE IS PROBABLY SO TIRED OF THEM. THEYRE SO DUMB AND SILLY AND GRGRRHRRHHRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THEYRE BESTIES. THEYRE THE DUMBEST BESTEST FRIENDS. CROSS ONLY EVER TRULY UNWINDS AND LETS HIS GUARD DOWN WHEN EPIC'S AROUND AND THERES SOMETHING SPECIAL ABOUT THAT. SOULMATES I TELL U.......

THE STARS!!! COULDNT FINISH THIS POST WITHOUT MENTIONING THEM. CROSS' DYNAMIC WITH THEM ISNT SOMETHING I FOCUS ON TOO-TOO MUCH NORMALLY BUT HERE WE GO!!!!

HIM AND SWAP FIRST. CROSS RELATES MORE TO SWAP THAN HE DOES MOST OTHER SANSES BECAUSE CROSS IS A SWAP. THIS IS KIND OF CANON TOO. WHILE CROSS FINDS A LOT OF CLASSIC BEHAVIORS DETESTABLE (ie drinking condiments or overall being lazy), SWAP IS LIKE HIM IN THAT REGARD. THEYRE BESTIES. THEY INTERACT A LOT OUTSIDE OF THEIR BRIEF CANON MEETING. JAKEI DRAWS THEM LOTS,,,,, SIGHS,,, I THINK THEYD BE GOOD FRIENDS EVEN IF CROSS ISNT IN THE STARS, LIKE A TRUCE AU OR JUST WHERE CROSS DOESNT ALIGN HIMSELF WITH ANY TEAM OR EVEN WHERE CROSS DOES, BUT THIS SWAP ISNT THE SAME ONE ON THE STARS' TEAM. THEYD BE SUPER CLOSE FRIENDS I THINK... au where cross is on nm's team but hangs out with a random swap from an unaffected timeline to destress between jobs, but that swap ends up being the one in the stars and idk. beginning of a truce or something much worse. u decide

DREAM!!!!! I DONT LIKE CREAM BUT I LOVE THEIR DYNAMIC IN CANON IN A PLATONIC WAY. I THINK THEYD BE FRIENDS. DREAM INSPIRES HOPE IN CROSS IN A WAY THAT HE THOUGHT HE LOST, REMINDING HIM OF HIS ROOTS AND HIS SENSE OF BELONGING IN THE ROYAL GUARD. WHICH IS A SCENE THAT MADE ME TEAR UP. THAT KIND OF HOPE IS JUST WHAT CROSS NEEDED IN THE MOMENT AND I FEEL DREAM COULD BE A REALLY GOOD GENUINE MORAL SUPPORT IN THAT REGARD. A GOOD INFLUENCE THAT CROSS 100% NEEDS. IF CROSS IS ON NM'S TEAM, DREAM IS THE ONE THAT MAKES CROSS HESITATE EVERY TIME DREAM OFFERS AND CROSS IS ABOUT TO DENY.

INK. WOULDNT BE A CROSS POST WITHOUT A LITTLE BIT OF INK WOULD IT. INK AND CROSS ARE SO DIVORCEES I THINK. BOTH WERE MANIPULATED BY XGASTER, ALTHOUGH CROSS WAS TREATED AHEM A LOT MORE POORLY. INK IS A REMINDER OF CROSS' PAST AND HIS TIME SPENT IN THE REMAINS OF HIS AU, IN ISOLATION. YET INK WAS ALSO HIS FRIEND. INK MEANT THE WORLD TO HIM BACK THEN. AND INSTINCTUALLY CROSS STILL DEFENDS HIM, EVEN IF HES ANGRY AND HATES INK FOR WHAT HE DID. THEYRE FULL OF CONFLICTING FEELINGS. AND I LOVE BOTH EQUALLY WHERE THEY EITHER TALK THINGS OUT OR WHERE IT STEWS FOREVER.

I ALSO REALLY LOVE JAKEIS DEVELOPMENT OF HIM. AT FIRST HE WAS A VERY ANGRY CHARACTER WHO WAS SORT OF DISSOCIATING AND IN A TERRIBLE MENTAL STATE (TO WHERE IF HE WAS ABLE TO USE THE OVERWRITE BUTTON AT THE TIME OF BEING TRAPPED IN THE REMAINS OF HIS AU HE WOULD HAVE DESTROYED HIS BODY AND ANY CHANCE OF FIXING THE AU BECAUSE HE IS SO OUT OF IT MENTALLY). AND HE REMAINED ANGRY FOR A GOOD BIT. AND THEN GOT EMO AND SAD. AND THEN HE GOT TIRED. AND NOW HES BACK TO BEING ANGRY AGAIN MOST LIKELY GIVEN THE FEW SNEAK PEAKS IVE SEEN OF THE NEXT UNDERVERSE EP. IM EXCITED TO SEE HOW HE REACTS TO SEEING XGASTER AGAIN. IM ALSO MOSTLY EXCITED FOR HIS OLD OUTFIT BEING BACK. I DIDNT LIKE THE BOOB WINDOW OR SLEEVELESS JOCK GETUP. SORRY CROSS

CAPSLOCK IS GONNA BE THE DEATH OF ME

OKAY. ANYWAY. HIS KNIFE THE BIG RED KNIFE. I MISS IT SO MUCH. THAT KNIFE INFLUENCED MY CHARACTER DESIGN FOR AGES. HES EDGY AND EMO AND I MISS THE KNIFE. THERE WAS SOMETHING ICONIC TO ME ABOUT IT. BIG RED KNIFE IS STILL CANON.... XCHARA COME BACK... I NEED U TO KNIFE HIM UP AGAIN...

AND AND AND. AND. CROSS!!!! HES PERFECT TO PROJECT ANYTHING ONTO. HES PERFECT TO WRITE ANGST OF. AND COMFORT I GUESS. HES MY FAVORITE CHARACTER TO WRITE THE DEHUMANIZATION OF BECAUSE HE EVEN CALLS HIMSELF A DOG AT ONE POINT IN UNDERVERSE. HELLO???? THERE WAS A POST THAT WENT LIKE "submissive in the way a dog is submissive to the sheep it kills coyotes for" THATS CROSS. THOSE IMAGES WHERE ITS A NOSTALGIC PICTURE OF A DOG/WOLF WITH TEXT IN A TYPEWRITER FONT ABOUT LOYALTY BEING THE DEATH OF YOU? CROSS. "IM NOT A VIOLENT DOG I DONT KNOW WHY I BITE" "I WONT WAIT FOR YOU, I BITE"? CROSS. CROSS CROSS CROSS. HE IS PERFECT BECAUSE HE IS ANGRY AND HE IS VIOLENT BUT HE IS HURTING. AND HE HURTS SO GODDAMN MUCH.

ID ADD SO MANY MORE IMAGES BUT I HIT THE 30 IMAGE LIMIT?!?!?!?!? PLEASE TELL ME U KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT THO.... PLEASE.... COME ON.......

I LOVE CROSS SO MUCH. I REALLY DO. HES MY BESTEST BOY EVER. I WOULD SAY GOOD BOY AND HE WOULD TREMBLE. I JUST REALIZED HOW SUGGESTIVE THAT SOUNDED. TAKE THAT AS YOU WILL I GUESS. ANYWAY YES CROSS SANS

I LOVE HIM. HES MY FAVORITE. I LOVE HIM AND HIS DYNAMICS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS. I LOVE HIM AND HIS STORY. I LOVE HIM AND HIS STUPID HABITS. HIS DAILY STRUGGLE TO GET DRESSED BC HES STUPID AND THE OUTFIT IS COMPLICATED. THE WAY HE CRIES SO MUCH. HIS STUPID FACE. HIS SMUG ASS STANCE. HIS STRAIGHT FUCKING POSTURE. THE WAY HES AN ASSHOLE TO EVERYONE WHO DOESNT HOLD DIRECT POWER OVER HIM. THE WAY HES DEVELOPED AS A CHARACTER OVER THE YEARS. I LOVE HIM.

THIS ISNT EVEN ALL OF IT. BUT ITS GETTING SO LONG IM JUST. GONNA END HERE. LMFAO. OK THATS IT

BYEBYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

[fudanshidoublevision]

Double Vision as a father.

Ray better kill him before Double puts his bloody claws on MC and even thinks of forming a family with them. /j

Dude, no, imagine being his CHILD, i feel sorry for anyone who has Double as some type of...paternal figure, LMFAO.

Experiencing parenthood isn't on my “to-do list”. Plus having a child, on this ECONOMY? I'm good.

Parenting is a humbling experience, my parents had taught me AND told me that. Well, that is certainly my fault because I was the devil reincarnated when I was a kid— but they still call me their little devil so not much has changed I guess. ( ͡°з ͡°)

But in this scenario...even if the circumstances aren't ideal, I believe that anyone can do their best if they really want to, it's not easy. It isn't the children's fault that their parents are so troubled. (meaning, if their progenitor is Double Vision in this case, lol)

I've discussed this with my best friend once, a long time ago and they said something about how Double will view his child as a possesion and extension of himself (and yours too, because he would only care about that kid just enough 'cause you are attached to them), i kind of agree with him. But, I mean? If Double Vision has kids with MC, wouldn't that mean he is fond with the idea of having kids? I haven't mentioned nothing about him being capable of “baby trapping” you because everyone else is disposable to him but you aren't. For all he cares, he only needs to held you tight by your throat to remember that he only needs you, he doesn't want or need someone else. In this scenario, your child was planned and wanted.

Even if you loved your child, he will be uncapable of loving them back the same way you love them but he wouldn't be uncaring, dude is deranged and a major bad influence. Mostly because of the way he is and taking in consideration the fact that his parents were emotionally and psychically absent when he needed them around, it's not an excuse considering how in this similar scenario Ray didn't had NO good-present parental figures on his whole life but wants to try his best, it just kind of explains why he acts and why would he act like that. I'm not saying that Ray would be perfect at parenting a child just a bit better than Double for sure, not gonna lie Double gives me “crazy-unstable uncle” vibes.

He is not right in the head, neither i am but hey, this is not a competition for who's more deranged, so...someone has to be the relatively-stable and emotionally available parental figure. (Meaning, YOU.)

Just sane enough to not make a mini Double 2.0. Who can be worse.

He would care...and “love” (the way he “loves you” is pretty different) his own child his very particular way. Yeah, he would be cruel and a piece of shit to you but just a tiny mean and highly authoritarian towards his child.

me if our kid ever asks me why their father fucking SUCKS at giving advice and why is it always has to end up with someone getting hurt:

"Mini-me, if you ever need adivice, you can open up to me and say whatever is bothering that little head of yours. Keeping some ugly thoughts to yourself isn't good, whatever it is, I'll never judge you and you'll never scare me off....What about your dad...? Eh, he...just isn't the best giving out advice. Some people aren't good with their words...and tend to say things that are bad, sometimes it's better to do...whatever you think is right instead of following what others may "advice” you but you can always double-check with me to know if you are doing the right thing.

Why, you ask? WELL... what about if we just...OH, what if we go out for a bit? Would you like that? I'll buy you whatever you want. ANYTHING! Just...dont tell your dad, okay..."

It's sad but it's not easy to explain to children why their mom/dad/parent acts or behaves “weird” or is incapable of doing things their other parent can do.

Oh well, i believe Double's kid wouldn't question what their dad tells them to do or say because...that's their father, they don't know any better than what their parents tell them.

Double's parental skills aren't the best; he is driven by his own emotions and he is the definition of what impulsivity means. He doesn't care much about consequences and who he might hurt to achieve what he wants and what he NEEDS. (You, again, for example. He obliterated the previous Night Crew members because of your “disappearance”. He may or may not broken someone's bones and mayyybe, just maybe! I think... he threatened some people here and there to get your location.)

I thought that maybe he would use your own child as a weapon to tame you so you'll do whatever he says. Emotional manipulation and conditioning...not even that poor kid is safe from that, Double is VERY MUCH controlling and overprotective. No matter how you behave, he stills wants you but of course, he loves a defiant behavior but he can't deny that he enjoys it when you "make things easier".

After all, parents will do anything for their children, right? Oh well, I'll be guessing that you'll do that for the sake of your child. Sorry if I'm wrong.

It doesn't really matter how that child appeared or how they were conceived and brought to you two to form a family. Those little details don't matter, you'll try your best, right? No matter what. You don't have much of an option if you are with Double, I guess. ಠಿ_ಠ

But I have the feeling that this freak will be overjoyed if the kid, shares your and his blood and genes. Just another thing to reaffirm his ownership over you. I don't think he will be capable of harming his own child, psychically, I mean. Maybe he WILL threaten you and say he'll hurt your kid when you “act feisty” so you'll give up.

Double Vision wouldn't be jealous at all of his child if they take all the attention from his most beloved possession off him because they aren't simply a bit of a threat to him and that kid is just trying to bond with you, i don't think Double would even bother to get in between of the parent of his kid and his child. Unless it is to annoy you or just be insufferable, as usual.

I like the idea that he underestimates what his child is capable of doing, lol.

For my own mental peace, i didn't added details like “what if your child had abilities?”. Because I have the feeling Double will be up to NO good with that little piece of information.

But let's just sit and think about it, either way, if your child is an ability holder or not, doesn't really matter if Daddy Double is around. Anything is possible and who is he to deny his child's wish to follow his daddy's step? Villainy, I mean, lol.

He would be overjoyed and proud his child wants to be a villain, like his parents. Well, he still is a villain and MC is not longer in the business because of Double, LMAO.

If you'd like to enter a more dangerous territory well, what if his kid wanted to become a hero? Not even an option, haha.

It's not like they have one, being a villain or just a regular citizen, no child of Double is going to become a hero on his guard. He will be very open about his distaste on the wish of his child wanting to be a hero, he might be ticked off by that.

Maybe he is usually cold-headed when he interacts with his own child, I think it's enough with him having you in edge constantly, at least he wouldn't behave or treat them the same way he treats you. Even though, there are times that his patience runs thin (when annoyed or angry, not entirely directed towards his child) and could say some concerning things that his child may take to heart.

Parents knows best, I've heard from a certain someone say before.

Now, what if that child grows? Woah, they are going through the terrifying, horrifying, traumatizing, horrible phase of adolescence! Amazing, worst years of my life! ᕕ( ՞ ᗜ ՞ )ᕗ

They are slowing growing into becoming an adult, they might realize how different everything looks when you are a bit...mature, you become more aware of what's going on around you. They will notice about how some behaviors from their parents aren't normal and not what they seemed, I'm specifically talking about Double Vision but you get it.

Maybe they will develop a rocky relationship with you but I believe that no matter what they will still love you and care for you, maybe you'll become their favorite and appreciate more the way you cared for them, who knows. Maybe they will hate you because you didn't tried enough and had to choose Double Vision as their shitty dad (I think it's for the best if they didn't know the reality of your situation 😁), they will grew and distant but who knows...?

About Double, I have the feeling that for their own sake they'll ignore his dad's existence as much as they can, Double is aware of that and doesn't care that much but I won't deny that he might be annoyed by that and oh NO! They ended up being just like you and Double is going to pick on you for that and even say that is your fault why they hate him so much.

Maybe it's for the better if your kid ended up being more like you rather than Double.

Double is an only child so i believe that he'll only want one single kid but I don't think he would be opposed of having another one but MAYBE, just maybe, no!

But there's something I believe that everyone can agree on and that's on the fact that Double looks so fucking HOT with grey hair.

And oh my FUCKING God, his gloves? You can see his tattooed sleeves and his neck? I feel like a Victorian man seeing a woman's ankles for the first time. I want to break his senile back.

Conclusion, could you have kids with Double? Absolutely, will he be a good dad? Questionable but most likely, not. I think he might be like his parents, he exists but he isn't a reliable person for his kids, it's kind of difficult to come a conclusion because he is so complex to me, my opinion on him is always ever-changing.

OH YEAH, you and your child might be the only ones besides some of your family members who probably meet him wayyyyyy before, a long time ago, that know his real name. It isn't that relevant but one of the most important things a kid has to know it's their parents name and last name, right? Not that Double's real name is going to be used as much as you might think.

I wrote this solely because I had a dream where Double Vision was my uncle and he lived on my grandparents backyard??? Sick and I just wanted to post this because I spent three days of my life writing this and then chickened out.

This post in particular wasn't proofreaded (at all) by my friends that usually encourage to post my dusty drafts.

I hope you liked it, I might add some things to this post in the future...

Anyways, Haley bae is next. Maybe even Binary Star because I think having kids with him sounds scary, if you are aware of WHY ARE YOU having kids with him on the first place (canonically speaking).

How would Double actually act if he ever had a kid: /j

I had this video on repeat playing in my head while writing this.

[themolluscasometimes]

(if you havent seen dmeon slayer s3 or read the mange this has spoilers)

okay no but look-

who tf. gave genya a sword an told him to go to final selection

It's stated that Genya calmed down and mellowed out after getting Gyomei to train him. ALSO he got mega buff between when we see him at final selection and when he see him next like yeah he obviously had a growth spurt but the point is he went from scrawny to brawny. He was also a giant asshole at final selection so like. Genya 100% only got trained by gyomei after passing final selection.

Which MEANS either someone ELSE sent a kid that cant use breathing to final selection with a sword OR he got himself there. I dont believe anyone wouldve willingly sent him given how important breathing is to the demon slayer corp

also. The only trainers we really see are hashira or former hashira. Im SO convinced there are other that we don't see given that not every water breather couldve been taught by Urokodaki but it still makes sense that these teachers are retired professional demon slayers that lived long enough to be no longer in active service even if they aren't hashira

which leaves us with options:

OPTION 1:

genya tried to learn breathing from a cultivator/some other demon slayer, failed, stole a nichirin sword and probably shook the poor sod down to get info on the when and where for final selection

OPTION 1a

When the person who tried to teach breathing to Genya refused to continue after finding out he cant Breathe Right, said teacher was too strong for genya to really do anything about it (see: they're teaching him and it seems likely that the teachers of demon slayer tend to be upper ranked at least) Genya fucked off and assaulted some weak random demon slayer to steal a sword from and get info

Or, you know, something along these lines because he had to get a nichirin sword and infomraiton from somewhere, and Im doubtful it was willingly given to him since he like. cant fucking breathe.

HOWEVER

when we see him at the end of final selection, he's like. mega obsessed with the sword thing. like. super. like yes these are special swords but here's the thing everyone there already has one of the special swords, just not one of their own.

It kinda maybe implies that Genya. Doesnt have a special sword. So.

OPTION TWO:

Genya has been roughing it with a regular ass sword for seven days and given that he can't Breathe his primary form of defense would've been step one: cut the demons arm off. step two: monch. step three: beat the demon to within an inch of its life with demon enhanced brute strength until he can get away or force it die in the sun.

In which case Genya was not likely to be doing much direct demon slaying during those seven days.

(even if he HAD a nichirin sword theres no guarantee that without breathing he wouldve been strong enough or skilful enough to use it to kill all the demons he ran across but given how obsessed and intense he is with getting his hands on a nichirin blade and how much not one single person would want him to go to final selection, i honestly think he had just some random sword. It would explain why he's so desperate to get one, other than being generally unhinged. Anyway-)

While everyone else was roughing it, surviving and slaying demons in the night, Genyas experience of the final selection exam was somewhere between a survival challenge and an all you can eat buffet, with not a lot of demon slaying involved.

can u imagine being part of his cohort and running across some dude that needs you to cut off this demons head thats missing a suspicious amount of its body bc he doesnt have a nichirin sword for some fucking reason. also he has really, really, fucked up eyeballs.

can you imagine watching one of your fellow exam participants use a sword only to defend himslef bc its a functionally useless offense only to attack by eating the fucking demons.

can you imagine seeing him at one point, looking a certain way bc hes been eating a demon and then seeing him again later looking human. or looking like a different demon. or both.

can u imagine struggling to feed yourself during these seven days and this man is having a straight up feast. and also couldnt be assed to show up with a sword for demonslaying to the exam for fucking demon slaying

[onthepyre]

my dear moot. so gallavich are fuckbuddies and the ian leaves and becomes an emt and then what??? how do they get back together? do they like. see each other in the couple years between because of mandy or other people or do they go no contact?? if it's no contact then why do they see each other again?? i desperately need to know. i'm invested in this au definitely more than i should be since i haven't even finished the show yet but like. it's amazing. i'm obssesed

omg hi!!!!!! thank you so so much for the question. i swear im still spinning this au around in my head ive just been so very preoccupied lately but i intend to write about that first night in the bar soon so keep an eye out for that. BUT! i will put the answer to this under a cut because it got longwinded.

so i want to start with why things fizzle out in the first place. they start up very much like canon gallavich - ian is ass over teakettle for mickey, and mickey, while definitely interested, isn't nearly as invested. things diverge from their canon characterization around the time of mick and svet's marriage. ian remains pissed, but rather than fucking off to the army, he stays - and it triggers his first major depressive episode.

and then mickey's like....... dude what the fuck is going on with you. because mickey, at this point, has bigger fucking fish to fry. instead of him being ian's main caretaker during this time it falls on the other gallaghers and mickey's just sort of around, in the periphery, and then when ian hits that manic upswing again, a LOT of the insane reckless shit he does is with or for mickey. but they never hit that deeper connection that we see gallavich develop in seasons 4/5 because they're just too fucking busy

so then ian quits work, and that's fine, but that means he and mickey dont really see much of each other anymore. they try to keep things up for a little bit, but it's just not really convenient since they aren't constantly in the same place, and so they're just kind of like, well whatever.

(they are both secretly very sad about this. but neither of them wants to come out and say that. so they just don't.)

and yeah, they do end up seeing each other a little, because ian and mandy are still friends, and she's probably so, SO tired of his bullshit, because he tells her all of these conflicting feelings he's having. she drops these stupid-obvious hints to mickey, but he's got a thick skull. so mostly she just pesters ian.

and then a little over a year goes by before the next major event - eventually they kind of put each other in the back of their minds, not really forgotten but not a main figure anymore. maybe ian gets a boyfriend, for real. but he still hasn't exactly nailed the balance of his meds, and though he doesn't experience the full spectrum anymore, there's definitely periods of time that...... aren't quite right. so he finds himself in one of those, and he gets off work and, well, that bar he used to work at is kind of close. and he kind of misses that messy thing he had going with mickey. and he drops in.

he gets more than a little tipsy at the bar, hanging around waiting for mickey to come in - and eventually he does. and ian isn't really sure how to approach this, but you know what always worked for him? starting a fight. so he does that. he calls mickey over, brings him outside, and just fucking. socks him in the face. and it does what ian wants it to! they beat the shit out of each other, take a little breather for mickey to ask what the fuck that was about, and in response, ian kisses him. they barely make it inside before their pants are off.

but ian, for the most part at least, has his life on track right now. he can't get involved in organized crime, he's a fucking emt. he has shit to be doing. his brother's a cop, even if a corrupt one. so he leaves that night, as much as it pains him, and puts it in the past. for a bit.

but FUCK! it hurts more this time. it SUCKS, suddenly, very badly. he wants nothing more than to go back again and apologize and start over, start it again the right way. and though ian loves mandy, he doesn't really trust her judgement on this specific thing. so he confides in lip. lip says, no dude, you did the right thing. don't spend more time around them than you need to. and ian takes that advice! for a little while.

another ten months goes by. it's been two years - two years! - since they had a regular thing going. and really? they're still stuck on each other. mickey very nearly reaches out a few times, but svet worries they'd be spending too much time with the gallaghers. and mickey trusts her.

thing is? yev's a clumsy kid. when he's about three, mickey turns his back for all of ten seconds and yev pulls a pot of boiling water down from the stove - and onto himself. it only really gets his arm, but it's a LOT of his arm, and naturally, mickey freaks the fuck out! and like, ive mentioned this offhand before, but he and svet are STUPID protective over their boy. like, would kill for him protective. so he calls 911. guess who shows up?

ian. of course it's ian. so they treat yev and get everything sorted out, but fuck, if watching mickey be a good dad isn't, for some fucking reason, the hottest thing ian's ever seen. and he misses him! by this point, he misses him so goddamn bad. can't get mickey out of his head. so he says, hey, you still have my number. give me a call in a couple days, let me know how yev's doing. i can come check on him, change the bandages.

and mickey calls him that night, actually. ian's like, did something happen, is yev okay? and mickey says, yeah he's fine. do you want to get dinner. and ian says yes, jesus christ, please.

and they're like, actually pretty normal from then on out. they remain ian and mickey, so of course there's ups and downs. but they're ian and mickey again.

[notbangoose]

Instead of both being experiments, I think it would be really funny if the goldfinchduo were just mindwiped scientist from the federation.

Not really a theory or anything, just a au of mine. Though I do have to say, with what I know from the character lore (fandom osmosis due to being Jaiden Pov), it feels more fitting to me than project bluebird. That is, with Jaiden having implied to have helped cucurucho in the past and Foolish being an immortal being. Anyways--

Foolish disguises himself as a normal human and decides to hang with these group of scientists he found on some deserted island out of boredom

The Federation is still in its early stages, still small, but very much starting to turn more unethical.

Though through the weird human and animal experiments, he befriends a scientist going under the alias Bluebird

She's just another human scientist that helps create assets for the federation, having made some of the helpers on the island (I have conflicting headcanons on whether the federation workers are body horror nightmares or robots but I'm bad at articulating them so)

He thinks the bear guys are rad as hell and she thinks Foolish is a nice dude to talk to, fast friends

Though eventually, the federation gets more... federation-y and Bluebird starts to realize that things are kind of fucked up (she found the children in the basement/j)

"I dont think we're good people"

"Well yeah I'm pretty sure you guys go hand in hand with some of the other cults I've been in-- maybe with just more labcoats"

"What?"

Anyways, as things progressed they eventually get mindwiped for 'perfection' and get seperated

Foolish somehow gets off the island (back in normal totem shark form), though memory erased. While he gradually gets his pre-island memories back, he doesn't remember being a fed worker. Also Bad found him, Foolish just pretended to know him until the amnesia went away.

Bluebird gets bluebirded (Also my headcanon that the federation birds are basically uncanny valley freaks to any actual avians plays into this-- think a wolf seeing a dog, a being like you but dulled)

Currently, they have a weird deja vu feeling about the other, but they dont know why

They're kindred spirits either way

Also in this au the Feds don't realize that Foolish is their ex employee until before the point in canon where he gets (re)hired by them to arrest Pac and Mike

Im really bad at explaining the fics my mind creates so ill try my best to draw them out sometime

[nicomrade]

A genuine question here, but why do you dislike The First so much?

well its a weird thing to talk about cause really its the same reason why i dislike stolen lupin or any other low tier TV special. the real question is why other people liked it so much and i think its only because its such a pretty movie, its jaw dropingly gorgeous and the lupgang banter is great but just those 2 together isnt enough to make a good MOVIE. but it is enough that u can have a good TIME if u dont think about whats happening. thats the short version, its just a bad movie. sorry🐅

i purposefully havent been too frank when talking publicly about it (why i kept a mean tweet about it in drafts for literal years) but compared to the unlimited love it gets from the fandom it looks like thats enough for people to pick up that i dislike it so much lol. so lets talk about the first!

ill be brief on each point. that ancient technology thing it does w the eclipse? thats a bad trope. its a very very bad trope. its the atlantis conspiracy theory, its 1 throwaway line away from slipping into ancient aliens, they pull the same shit in a couple other TV specials and none of them are fondly remembered so hopefully we all know this plot point sucks and is racist. if not you can google it. lets move on

the nazis. after watchin harimao i said it was more anti-nazi than the first, idk if id stand by that cause i havent seen it again since but i mention it to put it in lupin context. generally if it isnt OK to have lupin scam an ex-nazi in part 2 ep 3 by disguising himself as hitler, whys it OK for lupin to steal from nazis by disguising himself as hitler? at no point is the movie actually anti-nazi (though i wouldnt call it pro-nazi either) and its fucking weird to see lupin disguised as hitler in modern lupin cause each time nazis show up in classic lupin everyone agrees its tasteless & overdone.

laetitia! TMS did a genius thing w her cause shes incredibly well written as a self-insert fic protag. it is very easy to watch the first & pretend u urself are best friends w the gang by projecting urself onto her. this doesnt balance out her lack of character it only helps the audience not care about it. compare her to mariya from tokyo crisis- one could be written out of her own movie and we only get info bout her to move the plot (the bad, boring plot) forward, one is essential to the core of her movie and shes realistically affected by the things that happened to her and makes believable connections with some of the gang. yay! a character!!

the movie is also very segmented between "plot scenes" and "lupgang banter scenes" you will notice everything fun about lupin STOPS when we are being explained Plot Elements. lupin talks to laetitia and its a boring nazi ancient treasure movie. then we get a scene thats not about the eclipse or laetitias grandpa or the nazis and all of a sudden its super fun !!!!!!! this is bad writing. lol. watch fuma & see how lupin at its best can blend comedy and plot and exploration and fun banter.

my personal experience w the movie! the first time i watched it i had to pause it cause i was bored out of my mind. iirc it was more or less when lupin gets on the eclipse ship thing n all banter stops cause its just him n the nazi dude n i realized hey this movie kinda sucks actually! i texted a friend about it n he was like. yeah having to force urself to finish it sounds like ure not enjoyin this movie. i did watch the first 3 or 4 times? i did gif it a lot. theres scenes i like (the banter) but it doesnt make it a good movie. like i said when i first wrote my personal review of it: "I think looking at gifsets of this would be more enjoyable than actually watching it". laetitia really embodies her movie in that sense, shes a really good character if you only look at her. she shares her name with all of her ancestors! just who is she? why is she wearing short shorts? why was she a cop? how old is she? then you realize theres nothing there

and ultimately this IS a reaction to it being an unpopular opinion. there are so many lupin entries a lot more worthwhile than the first (2019) that dont even get half of the hype. in my personal ranking its in the bottom 10 (tho ive skipped 2 specials so u can consider that the bottom 12). i genuinely dont like it but im not as vocal about lets say, angels tactics, because we usually agree thats a bad one- or at least we dont recommend it to newcomers. the first has a good reputation so i feel more strongly about it despite liking it more. i would be just as vocal about dragon of doom & voyage to danger if people talked to me about them more often. (and i have a much more coherent critique of dragon of doom lol)

so i dont really know how to explain why i dislike the first cause i just do; the same way u just dislike a bad part 2 episode, the same way most of the fandom just finds napoleons dictionary kind of boring. how do u explain why u dislike the nazi ancient tech self-insert npc girl movie- except by calling it just that? i guess i wasnt blinded by how pretty it is which makes me sound full of myself LOL. but its true a lot of animation can get away w god awful writing if its well animated enough- and if its too ugly no one will watch the best written animated movie. i love animation too and it has so much to offer and i want to see more done in the style of the first with the story of [insert your personal favorite TV special]. im glad it opened the door for vs cats eye to look that way (though lets not forget the 2012 3DCG lupin short!). but the WRITING the STORY the MEAT of the first just isnt any better than any other mid to low tier lupin TV special. is it really worth recommending the first as someones entry into lupin just because it looks pretty? is it really better than the anime that made the author reboot his own manga? why are we even still talking about the first?

[intertexts]

HIIII ROS i am sorry i never replied to your reply to my ask from a while ago i am so bad at that ;-; in response to that kinda (bc we were talking about jhariah) i did see them live! 3rd concert ive ever been to in my life & it was life changing... i was front row n there was a baby mosh pit n i was with my best friends it was so good <3 i didn't get to see all the songs off TRUST CEREMONY live but if he tours again i will try to get tix because i must see CONTROL BABY live... my faves are control baby n fire4fun n russian doll <3 but it is my fave album ever created (except maybe Måneskin's Teatro D'Ira vol 1)

Dont wanna yap too much but other music im liking rn: Dua Saleh's ROSETTA ep; Missouri Surf Club's songs Rotten & Kingdom Come; Jean Dawson's entire discography generically but specifically SICK OF IT* and New Age Crisis; Ethel Cain's everything; and then im still consistent w the narcissist cookbook, an unkindness, sons of the illustrious father etc. I have been getting into a crazy amount of music since summer started though so there are sooooo many others but i wanna know what you're listening to! i like your music taste as ive said :3

ANYWAY I think i might just send another ask because this is ramble-y n u dont have to reply to it bc its overwhelming but!! Yeah hehe okay p. 1 - mare

HII HI HI no worries!!!!!!! all good i'm also really terrible at it!!!!!! hehe <33 jhariah concert & mosh pit is SO awesome though.. man.. thats so cool.... love that experience for u!!!! <333

checking out all of these rn they're SOO GOOD.... dua saleh ROSETTA ep literally going on the repeat playlist rn omg. ough. how have i not heard them before. holy fucking shit. missouri surf club goood i love the florence influence.... jean dawson & ethel cain WHOO!!!! hell yeag. god. u also have such good music dude. good shit.!!!!!!!

what have i been listening to!!! shit!!! this is gonna be LONG but u asked for it!!! a lot of morcheeba (big calm), de la soul (the grind date), sneaker pimps (bloodsport), tricky (maxinquaye) <- one of my all time faves, madvillainy, cibo matto (viva! la woman), yaeji (with a hammer), chai (wink)... summer to me is usually very hot & humid & sticky & dreamy to me (busted ac) so this is my laying on the floor staring at the fan vaguely dissociating rotation.

other than hip hop & trip hop-- dragon new warm mountain i believe in you by big thief!!!!!! somehow never listened to this one & i'm ill over it. & july flame (other all time fave) by laura veirs & central reservation by beth orton (<- huge recent discovery ill over her voice) & broken social scene self titled for my acoustic rotation...

heavier set: been getting BIG into creature feature they're literally so fun. i think u might like them tbh. american gothic is my fave so far!! summer is for shitty pop punk 2 me!! esp. when i actually have to Do Stuff & not lay on the floor melting. so. we the kings, fall out boy (cork tree & infinity on high), the cab, the academy is..., yellowcard, motion city soundtrack, alkaline trio :]

ALSO special mention 2 blue sky black death (slow burning lights, late nite cinema, noir) bc their instrumentals make me so insanely nostalgic & have been my writing soundtrack for the past month!!!!

[cerealmonster15]

[Wakes up in a cold sweat] wh o would dañarte and char choose in the brother/island question

FJKSLJFKLDS WH- HUH- 🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔 HMMMMMM

ok we are going w/the timeline where dañarte gets BANISHED from RSA and is in scarabia so per THE RULES he cant pick jamil or kalim.... and char uhhhhh well for funsies i also want to pick nrc students so 😌 [otherwise he'd probs pick che'nya his beloved bestie] [unless theyre in the same rsa dorm??? idk how their dorms work!!!] [and dañarte would not pick any of the currently known rsa characters anyway LOL i think he Hates Them All so far]

so HMMMMMmmmMMMmmm i think it might differ for the island vs brother question actually! i think for char at least, for the island question he'd want someone reliable and trustworthy, and for that i think he'd pick someone like vil or maybe lilia! he sees them both as people who are very strong and dependable and have a lot of life experience, and are more than what one might initially think about them at first glance. i think char has a lot of respect for them! my first choice was gonna be vil but then i remembered lilia and tbh i cant choose lol!!!

and for char's brother question i think he'd pick a first year bc he wants to be a good big brother 😭 tbh i think he'd like to care for any of the first years BUT i think he might actually pick someone like jack or sebek fjkslfjsdl because theyre the most like. tsundere Feelings Resistant, and he sees that they have a lot of hidden love in their heart and wants to help them EMBRACE IT and LEARN NOT TO FEAR THE FEELINGS!!! and maybe their grouchiness reminds him of a young dañarte, and he wants to help them out before they're too far gone 🥺

now. speaking of dañarte. bitch boy himself lol. tbh if he wasnt in scarabia i feel like for the island question he might have similar line of thinking as leona and idia here lol, that kalim would get him rescued faster by Being Important and that jamil would be the most Useful and Tolerable, but sucks to suck buddy thats against the RULES!!! oh actually maybe he would pick leona. i think he wants someone who is not going to Annoy Him and who can get shit done... hmmm but would dañarte be able to see past leona's lazy exterior and even be aware that hes like, really smart and capable fklsjeklf i cant believe the day has come where im making a case for leona but alas, it's true 😔 my other thought was malleus LOL like someone he'd know is strong and important and can pull his own weight. he doesnt wanna babysit a first year otherwise he mightve picked jack but i think he sees too much immaturity in the baby squad. man this is so hard when dañarte doesnt like anyone LOL i need to put this beast in more situations WHO DO YOU TALK TO, DUDE!!!!

brother question. hmmm.... damn i couldnt pick just one for any of these bc im torn between ruggie and azul LOL Hear Me Out,

ruggie - independent and fellow shitty schemer. maybe their interests dont align much, but he likes that ruggie's willing to play dirty and for easy incentives like money or food lol. would probs want to use that to his advantage to get ruggie to back him up on SCHEMES and maybe learn some sneaky secrets from him lol.

now azul jskfldksjjel listen LISTEN- half of dañarte's potental story existance is to stress azul out via jamil bc i love drama. yes. so in this timeline i think Azul Does Not Like Him and dañarte is well aware of that klfsjkelfe BUT he thinks it's funny. he's doing it on purpose. i was saying to myself "yeah hed absolutely not touch the fish, no fish club fuck the tweels fuck azu- wait actually-" i think if he picked azul it would be for psychological warfare purposes 😔 he could Bully Him More and learn his secrets and coerce him into schemes, something something useful contracts magic. theyre fellow schemers but dañarte doesnt like to play nice about it LOL

[chaoticgremlinbrainspace]

wow me thinking about dick Greyson? more likely than you think!

Disclaimer I am just a guy on the internet having a self indulgence time for fun, my grasp on canon vs Fanon is shakier than when I tried rope climbing in P.E also I am not a trained medical professional all things related to adhd I talk about come from Personal Experience or further research FOOD AND TEXTURE: fun fact, people with adhd can hyper fixate on foods, found that out from my mom’s doctor. so I think dick definitely has foods that he fixates on and will prefer to eat over other foods. also he would have foods he just can't fucking eat because of taste or texture, like for example when I was younger I refused to eat fried eggs but I would eat boiled eggs, even better example jellies and puddings are things I can eat bc it activates my gag reflex and I hate the way they feel, physically can't swallow them without feeling sick. so ya know ya boy is gonna project that onto the dickster lol. I think he would probably hyperfixate on foods that fall into a similar category of each other I know I do lol. my food hyperfication has been crushed up instant ramen. and has been for a while but specially a certain kind. think dick would hyperfixate on certain brands of cereal because ive seen the “dick likes sugar cereal” thing floating around, and because this the projection corner I think he prefers to eat it a certain way, probably dry because of easy transporting and he can bring as a quick snack for when hes on the go, but I think he also would like the crunchy texture and mouth feel. again projection corner I think he would fucking hate gelatinous foods with a passion. but also like gritty foods would probably be a no go. like he can eat them if he needs too because bat training and all that doesn't mean he would enjoy it lol. and like I feel like when hes knighting hes just in a consent state of near discomfort bc hes masking so hard(lol)  so when hes dick Greyson he sorta lets lose a bit and his symptoms are worse or hes allowed to be particular about things like food when hes a civilian.  and I think he probably likes the texture of the nightwing suit otherwise he would peel his skin off. projecting is fun so I think he would hate rough and scratchy clothes and bed sheets are the bane of his existence so he kicks them off before going to bed other wise he can't sleep. he probably fidgets with his gadgets quite a bit especially when on patrol and hes looking around and nothing much is happening. I think dick would do the leg bounce tm as a civilian a lot maybe play with his hair if its long, or just generally messing with with when hes nervous or fidgeting. idk I guess im making nightwing his “nooo guys dw im super normal im just like everyone I am a functional put together adult haha” which its funny bc masking. I think this dude would have so many built in work arounds like (projecting) audio processing problems, so he probably has people either reapet or smth to like record and play back that or hes just really smooth about (smile and nod and hope to god that was the correct answer) anyway sorry back on topic, i  have dick having a stuffed animal named zitka (?) that an elephant and like hell yeah, but also I think his thing is very much a “ive had a bad time today and I just need to destress for a bit and hold something soft/familiar in a dark room for a bit” as you can tell I am projecting onto dick Greyson a lot lol. anyway I think he would also struggle to like, eat consistently, like eating too much or eating too little bc he gets distracted with a case then over compensates or he gets bored and then eats to get some form of stimulation(I do this lol) I just think dick would chew on things but be embarrassed about it(projection) but yeah I just think this asshole would have a system tm that no one else gets bc his room just looks dirty as hell but hes like Nono guys I set my bag and wallet in the same spot in the corner of the room because if I dont I will spend 30 minutes looking for it and it will be in the freezer. that and I think he would either do really well with cold foods or really badly. I think dick is the kinda guy that would leave his sodas out overnight so they stop being fizzy bc he hates the feeling of the fizz(projecting) but yeah overall I think he prefer sweeter foods as like his comfort/perfered foods. I also like the hc that he can cook he just doesn't have a lot of time too, so he snacks a lot bc he needs the energy. adding my own shit onto it, executive dysfunction got his ass like “I could get up and make a sandwich I know what I need to do I have the ingredients and im hungry but I can't fucking get up to do it” anyway funtimes in hyperfixation with grem thanks for reading the insane rambles <3

[tranquilspot]

John: Open Pesterchum.

I don't have much to say about this page, except that it's well animated, the chat window is minimalist and the app design is realistic and nice.

I used to have Pesterchum installed on my computer, but I got bored.

There was (is?) an option that allowed you to encounter a random user. It was pretty neat but other than that I didn't know anyone so I ended up deleting it. I think they disabled that option too.

John: Open message.

Our first pesterlog, how exciting!

I mean I know by heart its content but regardless it is pretty cool. (sorry, I can't put the text both in indented and chat I had to pick one)

————————————————————————————————————————————————————

-- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 16:13 -- TG: hey so what sort of insane loot did you rake in today EB: i got a little monsters poster, it's so awesome. i'm going to watch it again today, the applejuice scene was so funny. TG: oh hell that is such a coincidence i just found an unopened container of apple juice in my closet it is like fucking christmas up in here EB: ok thats fine, but i just have one question and then a word of caution. have you ever seen a movie called little monsters starring howie mandel and fred savage? TG: but TG: the seal on the bottle is unbroken TG: are you suggesting someone put piss in my apple juice at the factory EB: all im saying is don't you think monster howie mandel has the power to do something as simple as reseal a bottle? EB: try using your brain numbnuts. TG: why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like TG: i mean his reaction was nigh instantaneous EB: it was the 15th day in a row howie mandel peed in his juice. TG: ok i can accept that TG: monster B-list celebrity douchebags are cunning and persistent pranksters TG: also fred savage has a really punchable face TG: but who cares about this lets stop talking about it TG: did you get the beta yet EB: no. EB: did you? TG: man i got two copies already TG: but i dont care im not going to play it or anything the game sounds boring TG: did you see how it got slammed in game bro???? EB: game bro is a joke and we both know it. TG: yeah TG: why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now EB: alright. ———————————————————————————————————————���————————————

I really like how the conversation keeps diverging and converging back together, it's funny ans realistic. Never saw that movie, I saw Beetle Juice though! Why is Dave so obsessed with the idea of having piss in his juice? I guess with the environment he lives in, he's gonna be wary of everything and anything. I think his room is Bro free. "why did the fat kid or whoever drank it know what piss tasted like", the same reason I know what cat food tastes like: kid self-experiment. Though it could have been a mean prank or an accident, the piss one I mean. The cat food was on purpose. Tried recess grass too. Pretty meh. "try using your brain numbnuts" *chuckles* kids when they try to insult someone.

"his reaction was nigh instantaneous" acting is hard dude, especially when you're a kid. I can testify, I participated in my bro's short films. No I won't share them, those worms will stay in their can. "fred savage has a really punchable face" I have not enough info to give any opinion on the matter. I usually suck at identifying/knowing actors in my own country, but american ones? Forget about it man. By the way pretty pompous to call yourself "americans" like you owned the whole continent. Do I look like I call myself "european" on a daily basis? Starting now I'll call you "statians" or something like that. No hard feelings~

"but who cares about this lets stop talking about it" Homestuck if its characters stopped rambling.

*roll credits* (You guessed it, I don't recognize any of those names either xD)

"man i got two copies already" Dave is smart so I don't think he's talking about the server and client discs here, but rather his copy and his bro's. "but i dont care im not going to play it or anything" hmmm not sure if he genuinely doesn't care or if he's trying reeeal hard to play it cool and keep down he's looking for a chance to stick his nose in the Sburb session. Kinda hard to know for sure, 50/50.

"game bro is a joke and we both know it." I third that. "why dont you go check your mail maybe its there now" The boy, is on a quest. And ooooh man a long one since he won't acquire the other half of his mail before a long time. So this is my first post with a Pesterlog formating. Lemme know in the notes or via message what you think about it: Do you want me to keep this format, the whole pesterlog + quotes? Or only quotes + the page so you can follow on your own device the conversation in parallel. —>

[maaaxx]

im trying to finish outlining cots and telling yall my train of thought might help me finish this so here that is.

This is also the first time you guys are getting any idea of what is actually going on in this story so have fun.

It takes like 5 chapters (not including the prologue) for things to actually start going somewhere. I dont know if thats normal pacing or not but oh well.

The difference between Sokka and Katara in this half (ish) of the story is so funny because theyre both experiencing the opposite sides of the teenage experience. Kataras out here rebelling (against who??? not even she knows), and Sokkas going through the beginning stages of gifted child burnout but like on crack.

Azulas a lot more better off in this fic than in canon because her and Zuko get to have a lot better relationship. Theyre not extremely close, because there is still some tension but not nearly to the extreme as canon. They just have a normal sibling relationship or close to it. She gets to be the well rounded and overall stable one. She deserves it. Everyone else at one point or another is going to be pretty distraught. Azulas just watching the world burn. and we love her for that.

So far all four of Zuko, Azula, Sokka, and Katara have atleast one pov in each chapter. And the difference between these is so funny because you have Sokka, who is worried about everything and anything and is like the mom of the group trying to keep his children in line, Katara's out there doing the dumbest shit she can think of on impulse, Zuko's trying to fight 10 people at once at any given chapter and Azula's just... watching.

Direct quotes from some of the outlines of azulas povs include, "Azulas really confused at everyone", "Azula's scheming", "Azula's interrogating and also scheming", "Azula's being a girlboss" Pretty much Azulas just taking everything in and laughing at everyone elses problems.

I love Azula in this fic.

Zuko's getting himself into trouble. This boy really just needs to shut the fuck up and life will overall just be a whole lot easier for him.

Most of the oc's from this fic are the more minor ones from ihiap. So far I think they've only been mentioned once or twice. But there are also some new ones and one of the new ones should be pretty familiar because its like, if two of my other ihiap ocs had a baby and you change the font a tad bit, you get this dude.

This dude is going to be the one to save Zuko from getting himself murdered because he wont stop running his mouth. This guy is the type that usually really soft and kind and quiet but at one point he just has to go "it's not that zuko's a horrible person, he's just really fucking stupid" and everyone else in the situation just goes "Oh yeah that makes sense thanks for clearing that up"

Katara and Sokkas relationship kind of replaces Zuko and Azulas for the strained sibling relationship in this fic. This is because Sokka a few times has to do something that majorly goes against Kataras strong morals but he has to do it to save her but he doesnt tell her that and it creates a lot of tension.

Zuko getting himself captured by making dumb decisions while Kataras trying to be his braincell 🤝 Katara completely abandoning any and all responsibility, actively putting a target on her back, after Sokka had to mansplain manipulate manwhore his way into some semblance of control to keep her from being tortured and starved 🤝 Sokka making the most impulsive and not well thought out decisions possible while Azula is constantly covering him and fixing the mistakes hes making in order to keep Katara and Zuko from getting killed.

I think that Sokka and Azulas relationship is a lot more simular to canon Katara and Sokkas relationship than cots Sokka and Katara. Because like,, while canon Sokka and Kataras bond is the whole "we're siblings, we grew up with eachother, we've always been by eachothers side' thing going on, that got a little bit interupted in cots. Mean while Azula and Sokka both have this 'I have this overwhelming weight resting on my shoulders and it's caused me to have to do horrible things to protect either myself or my loved ones and my sibling doesn't underdstand the entirety of that' solidarity in one another that allows them to have a really close relationship.

This story has so much going on right now because all four of the characters that im trying to keep track of all have very different goals and drives and plots. And it's going to be a while before they start to overlap.

I really love writing Azula and Ursas relationship because canon gives you so little that you can interpret it in so many different ways. Like if you put a little bit of work in you can turn it into every single mother-daughter issues dynamic in the book.

Thats all for now I'll add onto this when I feel like mentioning something else.

[dballzposting]

In GT Goten & Trunkz dont hang out religiously anymore and thats fine but they dont realize how often they still hang out I think.

I think they both think that they could go a year without seeing each other and that it would be the least of their problems. But out of the 3 out there in space, Goten has the least experience of being away from Trunks.

And they thought that Goten was gonna go into space and that was gonna be cool and they were gonna have a guys night, and then that fell through, but it's cool.

But it's just that the last time they hung out was, like, 4 months ago, and theyre due for another session. So now it's just, like, um, okay, well. I understand that there are bigger things at stake but I really miss my bro time lol.

And Trunks up there in the cockpit steering the damn spaceship starts to miss Goten a bit and he has to stop his mind from wistfully wandering becasue, HE KNOWS THAT THIS IS FOR THE BEST. LIKE..

Goten can get pretty hyperactive at times and you DO NOT WANT to be TRAPPED in a vessel with him ...

How could he be more hyperactive than two children, you ask? Well, it's just that Goku spends a lot of his time sleeping and eating, and he gets bored and sore about it, but all he does is whine about it. He doesnt break shit like Goten would. And Pan has the creativity as well as the energy of childhood, so shes always able to find shit to do, even if it's something arbitrary that she made up but that she believes wholeheartedly (for example she spent a long time trying to make a functional chore sheet that everyone would abide by, even though Trunks's outlook is just hey, if it needs to be done then someone will see it and do it.) Also she took a real shining to Giru and they are able to keep each other occupied.

Goten would not like that robot much and it's becasue, in his space boredom, he invents drama to pass the time. He decides that he and that robot are competing for Trunks's attention, so he devises a petty rivalry with that fucking thing, but the most dramatic part of all is that he and Giru actually have deep and repressed feelings for each other ... in the end it all shatters into "Oh Giru maybe we can all be best friends TOGETHER... can life truly be that good?" And again Giru is just this orb robot thing. He deosnt know what's happening

And Trunks knows Goten well and can see this all from a mile away so hes up there in space and is reminding himself to be GRATEFUL that Goten ISNT THERE!!!

Hed be relentlessly giggling about how it's called the "cockpit." He'd really want to press buttons and pull levers and hed beg Trunks "which one can I press???" "None right now" "Well WHEN???" "I dont know, when we need to next?" "Well when will that be???" "I dont know, could be in a minute, could be a few hours, space is unpredictable" "I thought you said that space is isotopic and homogeneous????" ".....That's not...what I meant-" "Well when you need to press a button next can you TELL ME????" "...Okay, sure, yeah."

And then Trunks presses a button or pulls a lever or flicks a switch without thinking about it and Goten springs up and is like DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And one time Goten is in the space shitter and he can feel/hear the ship change its tempo like its velocity has changed and that of course means that TRUNKS HAD PRESSED A BUTTON and Goten storms out of the shitter holding his pants up (belt unbuckled) and tumbles into the cockpit like DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And long before the gas leak occurs Goten is exhibiting what an allistic may dub "space madness" but really hes just making a lot of sounds. Animal sounds and music sounds and whatnot. Some of these sounds Trunks cannot stand however and so long before the gas leak strikes there is a moment when Trunks snaps and abdicates the control chair so that he can wrestle with Goten and strangle him and kill him dead he needs to kill kill kill kill kill him NOW.

Goku sees this display and decides that as long as they dont tear the spaceship apart they should be good. So he jumps into the fray and they all try to kill each other in this cartoon ball of dust and smoke and flailing limbs

And after that everyone goes back to normal for a while becasue I think everyone was just getting a little understimulated lol.

Not to mention Goten always clogs the space shitter and blames it on Giru

[thenixkat]

also the next issue is the prelude to the Death of Superman and hah also like Superman really got into a knockdown slugfest with a fucker as strong as him and died because of it instead of fighting smarter just chuck the bitch into space at mach speed get any of the psychic people you know to chuck the bitch into space with their powers from a safe distance Doomsday couldnt fly and didnt have ranged abilities in its first appearance other than throwing rocks really hard Superman didnt have to try punching it to death to win is what i'm saying

also apparently this was a containment suit suppressing Doomsday's powers and the heroes by fighting the fucker kept peeling away more and more of the suit

when again, they could just chuck him into the space. or the psychic fuckers could squeeze his brain enough to likely make the fucker pass out not enough characters with telekinesis just fuck around with fuckers insides yeah actually that's a containment suit Doomsday only has one arm free here

this fucker really crawled out of who knows where in a containment suit just killing shit and destroying shit with no explanation later retcons made it a Kryptonian experiment, originally it was just bitch that came out of nowhere

local escaped thing that has been stated to not be that much more intelligent than a cunning animal that only hates and desires to destroy very effective at fighting fuckers with one arm tied behind its back

granted perhaps dont get that close to a fucker with superstrength they tend to be a bit fast too again fuckers getting up close to punch a bitch

yer priority should be mentally chucking the fucker away from teh road and the bystanders

Ted is lucky to have survived that with no enhanced durability.

and he got thrown after the getting his head bashed. man is lucky lucky lucky to have survived and not been permanently paralysed

me: damn Khaji Da worked hard to keep that man's body from getting too befucked by that incident

like, of course the writer didnt think about shit from Blue Beetle 1986, let alone the fact that Ted's bonded to an alien parasite/magical talisman that has brought a man back to life and healed his fatal injuries but I'm thinking about it heh like, Ted very much probably should have died from someone that strong denting mental with his face. and then throwing him. Magic is a better reason than sheer luck for his survival and coming out of a months long coma able to fight fuckers as soon as he woke up with no lasting damage other than what sounds like some chronic pain

man's face aint even broken that. A higher power was looking out for him and its Khaji Da

Booster's costume here isnt that much torn up than how it was at the end of the 1000 arc in his solo series. He didnt have to wait for Ted to fix it when he could have gone back to Dr. Soos

cause like who would reasonably expect a man that just got out of a coma cause by getting his head slammed into metal to be able to do fine circuitry work involved in fixing a suit from teh future without at minimum a year of rehabilitation/physical therapy (and frankly should be a lot lot longer than that)

like fucking wild and unreasonable that the moment Ted woke up from that coma he was fighting a villain, still in the damn hospital gown and everything. Man was just actively dying like 5 mins ago but he woke up and can do backflips One of Ted's kidneys shut down, do organs boot back up or is the dude just down a kidney forever cause that has health complications too

Booster medicine in the 80s aint that good

again Booster you know a a guy who's fixed yer shredded suit b4. The same fucking writer. Same fucking writer acting like Booster doesnt know a guy who's fixed his suit before

huh. well i will assume they got Ted's kidney working against since they dont mention him being down one later. Granted writers do just decide that characters arent disabled anymore all teh time. See both Ted's heart condition not coming up at all and Mr. Reyes no longer needing a cane in the most recent Blue Beetle run

it still bothers me that the Thanagarians arent actual bird people aliens their wings are fake i hate it

again I would like to like Booster and Ted's friendship. There's some decent moments but good lords is everything around it terrible

Just the knowledge that shit started with fuckers being ooc and cut off from their original support groups and used as vehicles for jokes, turned into the comic relief in a comedy series AND derided for it at the same time by the writers like…

most of this issue was just superheroes mourning Superman …Maxima's costume… is formed by her powers…ma'am are you naked? no, Martian Manhunter is bad enough pls put on undies at least under that power-projected costume Booster continues to forget that Dr. Soos exists and has fixed his shredded ass costume before this comic is set in the year 1993 Also Booster being casually ableist towards Oberon

just cause he's mad Guy Gardner harasses, attacks, and forces the Ray (a teen just getting a handle on his powers) to join the Justice League. I hate these people so much.

like I have no reason to belive that if Ray said no, that Guy wouldn't have beat him up and made him join. And we know that once Ray talks to Max and expresses any desire to leave he'd get brainwashed to stay just like Huntress ah yet again the notion that if a person has superpowers they have to be a superhero its their duty. Which is all kinds of bullshit

Also Booster turned Skeets off and put him in storage. Just that is the most blatant 'what the fuck writers' to me with the handling of Booster Gold in the Justice League International/America stuff. why the hell would Booster be so callous to turn his friends and partner off and put him in fucking storage?

that is his friend, the only person around who also knows the future that Booster misses and has been there for him just also Skeets is a person turning him off is fucking awful to begin with. The only reason anyone should do that is to fix him if he got badly damaged just… people like the JLI/JLA comics even tho they did so much bullshit just assassinated the character of these characters

just I do genuinely think that Booster Gold and Ted Kord/Blue Beetle 2 could be friends just not how this shit was done. Skeets should be involved. Ted's friends should be involved too. Also just Ted shoudl actually be in character and not some money-grubbing fame-seeking schemer using the Blue Beetle name as a brand that shit aint him. Ted actively avoids the press and the cops in his superhero work and the Blue Beetle name is not something that he'd use to make a buck off

also why is Skeets not angry about being turned off

its not like he's programmed to want to help Booster. Helping Booster is a choice Skeets made to help with teh fucking time loop shit. That doesnt mean he cant get snippy with him about treating him like that

Wonder Woman joined teh League and Ice leaves to go back to her homeland b/c she's not vibing with all the danger and friends dying and frankly that's fine again fuckers with teh argument that if you have powers its yer responsibility to be a superhero and save lives

i guess every ablebodied person in the world is failing our duty in having any job other than being a cop, firefighter, or paramedic

[raziel8]

@Mariana : There's love out there.

@Me : Wouldn't know.

@Mariana : Thats a lie, You would know more than anyone, its out there

Me :(Sighs with a smirk) yeah; It is out there. Just not for me. In my fantasies the most beautiful woman in the world loves me as much as I love her. But that's was just a dream.

@mariana: (eye rolls) Calm down R.E.M

Me: (Sighs with a big smile) Its a good song tho.

@Mariana : What would you do if all these fantasies come flailing around?

Me: It would probably bring me to my knees.

@Mariana: Dude... now you said to much. But seriously what would you do if for some reason she does end up loving you?

Me: What could I do? Its BILLIE FUCKING EILISH I'd be at her mercy by those hypnotic eyes of hers.

@Mariana: Better wear them sunglasses.

Me:Good idea

@Mariana: Hey

Me: Yeah?

@Mariana : I've been wanting to ask you something

Me: Ask away

@Mariana : If you really love her the way you say you do. Why dont you think about her as much.

Me: Well... I actually do. A wise man once told me: "Hey! You've got to hide your love away."

@Mariana : Really Dude? You're hopeless

Me: WHAT....?😏

@Mariana : (eye rolls) Nvm lets go im getting hungry

Me: (pfft)🤭 You can eat this big ass dick

@Mariana : DONT FUCKING START WITH THAT SHIT!!!

Me: Don't yell at me I have asthma 🥺👉👈

@Mariana : no you fucking don't.

Me: 😮‍💨 (Sighs)

No, no i don't.

@Mariana : every time i ask you a question. It leads up to another set of unanswered questions. Without having the answer to the first question.

Me: Think about it, "Why dont you think about her as much? "I actually do.' "You have to hide your love away." I hide my love for her. The world will try to take that from me too.

@Mariana : So they weren't successful?

Me: Hmm..🤔Now that that I think about it. Were they successful?

@Mariana : Well idk? Look at your fantasies, you know the answer. What does it look like.

Me: I see us laughing a lot, on the road to new places. Writing and sharing songs and poems with her.

@Mariana : you know her brother writes...

Me. Yeah. He's a musical genius on his own right.

@Mariana : you think so?

Me: know so

@Mariana : (eyerolls) how do you know?

Me: My amazing powers of observation.

You're about to roll your eyes at me

@Mariana : (rolls eyes) stops halfway through

Me: 🤭

@Mariana : asshole, I hate it when you do that.

Me: you know you love it.😇

@Mariana : 😤

Me: (hugs her)

@Mariana : 😑

Me : Back to our convo, if you listen to Billie's songs. It not just one style, Finnias mixes his style with different genres of music.

@Mariana : examples would be nice

Me: Of course, the song Billie Bossa Nova, Finnias sounds like he mixed his style with this 50's/60's contemporary Jazz. Contrast that song with "Your Power" which has this sweet smooth mixture of acoustic style thats sounds amazing. I can already hear 1000's of virtuoso guitar enthusiasts say I can play better than that... Well, I heard someone say this, and I take this as a wise quote now. and it could be fit for anything and everything. "The beauty lays on its simplicity."

@Mariana: damn, who did you quote?

Me: im bad with names. But he has a show called "Meat Eater" ironically hes a he's a hunter.

@Mariana : 😑

Me. Thats why I said ironically. And this one of many things where you can see different sides of me. And its confusing when you know me for this and others know me for that. I been and lived in so many different views of life. And there is no wrong way of seeing life. We all see it differently. And that ok its what keeps life's experiences more unique. Im lucky to be able to see everyones point of view. We all have this gift of life. We all have the right to exist. We do what we do.

@Mariana : why are you like this?

Me: got carried away again didn't I?

@Mariana : most will say yeah. But no, this world doesn't deserve you.

Me: stop you bring tears to my eyes.

@Mariana : listening to you brings tears to mine.

[babyboibucky]

Should’ve Known Better

Pairing: EB!Frank x Reader

Summary: You should have known better than to sleep with a friend.

Word Count: 3.3k

Warnings: Smut, FWB set-up, a little bit of toxic shit, angst

A/N: Frank got the most votes when I asked which other Seb character I should write for, so here it is! This is very personal to me lmfao it’s somewhat based on my own experience that really fucked me up a couple of years ago aksncajscna no but for real, stay away from the friends with benefits kind of relationship if you can’t keep shit purely sexual lmao also some guys are just fucking assholes even if they’re your friend lol

ALSO, I tagged those who are in my Everything Bucky Tag List. I’m not sure if I’ll write more Frank in the future too so I won’t be creating a separate tag list for him yet.

MAIN MASTERLIST

"Do you love me?"

It was a simple question that was supposed to make you think. Given your experiences and your personality in general, you were supposed to cringe and ignore it. Maybe even make a joke out of it, especially that it was Frank who was asking you this question.

He wasn't supposed to ask it too. He wasn't one to ask such thing, not especially with the relationship that the both of you have. It was clear from the get go that this was nothing serious.

So why was he asking it now?

And why did you respond to it right away, as if you knew your answer even before he asked?

-

"Come on, it'll be fun."

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"I'll make you feel good, you won't regret this."

It did feel good, you were going to give Frank that. Possibly the best, even. But the latter part? You weren't so sure. Were you regretting it? Honestly, no.

Maybe not yet.

You'd rather not think about it for now.

"What's there to lose? We know each other too much to develop feelings anyway, you said so yourself."

Oh there's plenty to lose. Maybe a decade's worth of platonic (was it really platonic from the beginning though?) friendship. Your self-esteem was on the line too, but you didn't know it yet. You'll get there though, whether you like it or not.

"I'm free next Friday, come over. Spend the night with me. What do you say?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Next Friday. I'll see you, okay?"

You should've said no. You should have known better.

"Ugh, fine."

But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

-

That first night with Frank was something else. It was fun and he kept his promise to make you feel good. So, so good. You never thought that sex could be that fucking good. At least, not with your previous partners. Not that you had many in the first place.

But god, Frank knew what he was doing and he loved doing things to you. He loved the entire process of knowing your body, what you liked and what you loved. How you liked to be kissed and touched and fucked.

He studied your body like his fucking life depended on it and you let him. You let him own your body because you needed someone to. You needed to feel something, wanted to have a purpose even for just a short while, even if it meant being someone's fuck buddy.

You felt lost for the longest time, but as you laid on Frank's bed with his tongue lapping up your cunt, you actually felt like you belonged somewhere.

-

You weren't a booty call, definitely not. And when things escalated between the both of you, Frank was already single and had broken off with his recent girlfriend, Daphne. You weren't a doormat nor a side chick. Frank had been your friend for the longest time, one of your closest actually. He knew you the best and not just physically. Frank knew the darkest parts of you the same way you knew him like the back of your hand. He was the most open to you, he said so himself.

"I don't know what I'd do without you." he told you one time.

Frank wasn't afraid to show you his true colors; how he wasn't the kind to settle for one or how he would often end up with someone immature or toxic. He himself was toxic and for the most part, you tolerated him.

That was the mistake on your part.

You let him be himself, that's why you held a special place in his heart. Not even his past girlfriends could get rid of you. You were untouchable.

"Are you sure she's fine with us going out?" you asked Frank one time, as the both of you headed to the movies.

He scoffed, "Yeah, don't worry. I already told her you're my best friend. You're off limits." he chuckled as he placed his hand on the small of your back, guiding you inside the cinema.

"You're fine." he reassured again, this time wrapping his arm around your shoulder and then cradling your head playfully.

-

Looking back, you sometimes ponder whether the friendship was really platonic. You were sure of it when the both of you first became friends; he was a couple of years older than you. You sort of looked up to him like an older brother for the first few years of your relationship. And he was very caring too, always looking out for you.

Your other friends were the first one to notice the closeness. They often told you that Frank seemed to have a thing for you. You brushed it off though, saying that it was impossible.

His girlfriend then was an acquaintance of yours. She was nice and wasn't bothered by how Frank was affectionate towards you.

Indeed, you were untouchable. You were the best friend after all.

-

"We fought again."

You rolled your eyes at Frank as he sat across from you at a local coffee shop near your place. It was your birthday and as always, you spent the most part of it with Frank.

It was like a tradition already, to celebrate your birthday with Frank first before you went out with your friends. Or even family. It was that kind of friendship.

"I'm sorry but who are we talking about again?" you joked.

Frank made a face, "Daphne." he responded. "I just told you about her like, two days ago."

You snickered, "I was kidding. But honestly though, you have to stop flirting with other girls. It's been really difficult for me to keep track of your record, Frank. And are you and Daphne even official?" you asked, taking a sip from your cold brew.

He rubbed his chin and shrugged, "Sorta. Well, we were official two weeks ago. Now though, I'm not so sure. Here's the thing, Daphne can be really..." he said, trying to search for the right words.

You hummed and shook your head, "Immature?" you said and mindlessly scrolled through your phone.

"You should really stop dating girls who are immature, Frank. I swear to god, this is like...I don't know, the fifth time you dated someone like her? Why don't you settle for someone who actually acts her age?" you blurted out.

Frank groaned and transferred to the seat next to you, his body facing yours and his hand landing on your thigh. You didn't mind, didn't think it was too touchy or intimate for someone who was in a relationship. It was pretty common for Frank to be this touchy with you anyway, you never paid much attention to it nor given it any malice.

"We fought because of you actually." Frank admitted with an apologetic smile.

Your head snapped towards him, a scowl etched on your face. "What did I do?!" you asked in defense.

"It was my fault. Daph saw your photo inside my wallet." he said.

"You should really throw away that photo. Jesus, why do you still have it anyway?" you complained.

Frank scoffed, "That's my favorite photo of you. I don't wanna get rid of it."

That was the last day that you considered your friendship with Frank platonic.

-

Come over

I miss u xoxo

Miss eating u out

Miss ur moans, wanna hear them again

You groaned at the continuous notifications that flooded your phone. While you were at work. After that first night with Frank, he had gotten extra clingy. No lies though, it felt nice to be wanted like this.

im free nxt Sat

Yay

Cant wait to see u, missed u a lot

dude, we were at the mall together just last wk

U really dont get attached do u?

Frowning at Frank's reply, you honestly didn't understand what he was implying.

what u mean?

Nothing

Work kept you busy for the entire week, with Frank bombarding you with sweet texts. You've avoided being sweet with him, it felt wrong. You weren't an affectionate person but Frank was, it was sort of one-sided. It wasn't a big deal anyway.

No one from the rest of your friends knew what had become of your friendship with Frank. You just thought it wasn't something that should be revealed. It was like your and Frank's little secret. You had to admit, the thrill only made the sex better.

Whenever the both of you went out with other people, the tension was there and it was fun. It was fun trying to brush off the way Frank's hand would steal touches from your waist, or how he'd subtly squeeze your thigh. The looks you exchanged from across the room; how Frank's "fuck me" eyes were meant for you and only you.

Things like that made you feel a certain type of way. But you never dwelled on it, or at least, you thought you didn't.

-

"Yeah, fuck...just like that, baby."

Frank's fingers dug deeply into the skin of your ass as he guided your hips. You gripped onto the back of the couch as you bounced on his cock, head thrown back from pleasure as Frank suckled one of your nipples. You could feel each of his fingers pressing down against your skin, it's probably going to leave bruises again.

"Frank, shit. I'm close." you panted against the skin of his neck, your arms wrapping around his shoulders and pulling him close.

Frank grunted and took your face in between his palms, forcing you to look at him as he began to thrust his hips upwards, eliciting a high-pitched whimper from you.

"Wanted to see you like this ever since." he breathed out, pressing his lips against your open mouth.

"Wanted you since we met, d'you know that?" he asked, grabbing a fistful of your hair and tugging your head back so he could nibble on your throat.

You shook your head and gripped his shoulders, nails scratching at his skin as you continued to ride his cock, "God, Frank...so close." you moaned.

You felt Frank's lips curl into a smirk against your neck, his fingers gripping your hair to keep you in place as his other hand slipped in between your bodies, finding your clit and rubbing it to help you reach your climax.

Every single time he touched you, you felt like your entire body was on fire. You felt the most alive, the most free whenever Frank fucked you. Maybe because he was truly gifted in bed or maybe he just knew your body and how to make it sing.

Or maybe it was because of the way he looked at you whenever you fall apart for him. Like he only had eyes for you, like it was only you that he could see.

Sweaty bodies and hoarse voices, the smell of smoke and sex lingering in the air. It was such a familiar ambiance by now. You liked how the aftermath of fucking Frank was never awkward, if any, it was a comfortable experience with the both of you just talking casually about how each other's day went.

"So I'm talking to this girl..." Frank said, turning you around so he could spoon you. Oh, the irony of the intimacy and conversation.

"Where'd you meet this girl?" you asked.

"Tinder." Frank snorted before pressing a kiss on your nape. "No, but she's different. I don't know, there's something about her."

You merely hummed in response.

"Think I might ask her out."

The first sting. The first realization. The first denial.

You should've said no. You should've known better.

-

The art exhibit wasn't a flop, but you wouldn't call it a success either. When you got a call from the organizer asking whether they can include your paintings in the exhibit, you said yes instantly. What can you say? You were a struggling artist who was seeking validation.

But now that you stood in front of your works with barely ten people attending the one-day exhibit, you thought that this wasn't a validation. It felt like a wake up call that maybe, art wasn't your calling and that you should probably give up on your dream.

"These are amazing."

You were on the verge of breaking down when you heard his voice. Turning around, you were surprised to see Frank. He was nodding his head as he approached you, his eyes scanning each of your painting.

"What are you doing here? I thought you had work." you asked.

Frank gave you a face, "Did you really think I'd miss out on your first exhibit?" he said and pulled you into a warm embrace.

"I'm proud of you." he whispered before kissing the crown of your head.

One validation from Frank was all it took for the walls to crumble down. He was the one who had been there for you all along and that was why you completely trusted him.

Frank will never hurt you, he'll never bring you down.

Or so you thought.

-

"Do you love me?"

It was a question that was supposed to make you think. But you didn't, because even before Frank decided to ask you that, you already had your answer.

You knew your answer for the longest time now, but decided to lock it into a box that you kept in the deepest part of your heart. It remained there unbothered and almost forgotten, up until this point.

That's why it was so easy for you to respond to it without even batting an eye.

"Yes."

It was too late when you realized that you had just admitted that you were in love with Frank. But you felt like it was the right time for you to bring out the key to that box, open it and just set your truth free.

They said that the truth will set you free, but why does it feel like it only imprisoned you?

"Shit, I was kidding." Frank said, his face panicked and body stiff from your unexpected admission.

Before you could even say something, Frank let out a nervous laugh as he ran his hand through his locks. "Wow, I didn't...are you serious?" he asked again.

It took you everything to brush off the pain, "Yeah, but it's no big deal. Come on." you shook your head and forced out a breathy chuckle.

Frank heaved out a deep sigh, "Fuck, I was messing with you. Are you sure it's fine? I mean, would this change anything?" he asked.

You deadpanned, "No, Frank. It wouldn't change anything. Like I said, get over it. It's not like I'm in love with you. I just love you...if that makes sense? You're my friend." you explained, more like lied.

"Look, it's not like I'm unattracted to you. I like you, I like spending time with you. It's just that I sort of don't see myself committing to you."

It didn't sink in to you immediately, Frank's statement. You didn't pay it any mind because again, you knew Frank. He wasn't one to commit so that was fine, you understand where he was coming from. It's not like you were going to force yourself on him too. But then you accidentally glanced at his phone and saw the messages he'd been exchanging with a certain someone.

When r u coming home?

In a little while, Daph

That night, Frank's statement hit you like a ton of bricks but again, you chose to deny what you actually felt. It's fine.

You're fine.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better.

Those words rang in your ears on the day that you found out. Your body turned cold, your vision blurred and your head spun. You'd never experienced hurt and anger like this, the kind that consumed you.

The kind that made you realized and admit that fuck, you'd truly fallen for Frank only for him to break your heart.

It didn't help that you were having such a terrible day at work. And Frank was so sweet to ask you whether you wanted to meet up with him. Not for sex, but to talk. The sex came rarely recently and was replaced with wholesome trips to the grocery, shit like that.

You knew there was something special going on. Even after he told you that he didn't see himself being with you, there was something.

Apparently, that something was just an assumption. Because when you asked Frank to meet you up that night, he said he couldn't and needed to be somewhere. That he'd meet with you the next day instead, a promise.

But then you saw him post a photo of him and Daphne. And it made your blood boil.

u back together?

No. Not really, been trying to fix it but u know how it is.

if ur trying to fix it with her then im out, frank

Wait what? Hey, are u mad?

r u fucking serious? u knew i love u and u come here parading ur ex, what the fuck is that all abt?

Shit, hey. Look, let's talk later, okay? Im out, will txt u when Im free.

Frank didn't text you back for the rest of the day.

-

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

Were you regretting it? Yes. Sometimes.

You didn't know which hurt the most, the fact that Frank kept you in the dark while he was trying to patch things up with his ex, or that he considered you his best friend and still chose to break your heart.

He knew you the best, your relationship and trust issues and out of all the people, he really had to be the one to fuck you up the most. You trusted him so much, trusted him not to hurt you. Hell, if he doesn't want to commit then that's fine. But for him to treat you like a second option? Fuck that.

For him to confuse you with his actions, the intimacy...were all of those even real? All the times he came to your support when you had no one, when he was there for you on days you felt alone. What were those? He made you feel so fucking special, like it was possible to actually turn the friendship into something more than just fucking.

All this time you thought it was one-sided because you never actually showed Frank how much you meant to him the same way he did to you. Turned out that it was one-sided, but only because you were the only one who fell.

The following day, you received a voicemail from Frank. You pondered whether you were ready to listen to it but at the same time, you wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. It was pretty stupid, he fucked you up and there was no excuse for that. But the friendship you had with him had a strong hold on you.

"Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you. That was my mistake." he started off. "I thought that this was really just sex and having fun, but I want you to know that I like you. I really do, you're special to me. Please give me a chance to make things right. Daph and I...I want to end things with her. Please stay, I don't know what I'd do without you."

“I just didn’t expect that you’d end up falling for me, I mean shit. You know the real me, how fucked up I am when it comes to relationships. Just please...please stay?”

Did you stay? Sort of. But you kept your distance, didn't meet up with Frank after that and only responded to his texts occasionally. Did he end things with Daph?

He didn't.

He said he would but instead, they got back together.

It was fucking selfish of Frank to ask for you to stay only for him to get back together with his ex. It'd be better for him to just slap you in the face then.

Being told that he couldn't see himself committing to you but then going back with his ex was the cherry on top. God, if that didn't mess up with your self-worth.

You totally stopped talking to Frank, ignored his texts and calls. You stayed away from him, tried to get over him and eventually, you did. But you'd be lying if you said that he never left an effect on you. Because he did, Frank did a number on you and it would take you a long fucking time to completely recover from the damage he inflicted on you.

You should've said no. You should've known better. But you said yes because you didn't know any better.

And that's okay, because there's nothing wrong with taking risks and ending up in heartbreak.

You live, you love and you learn.

-

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