#i really don’t want to be back at work rn
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wow i’ve never actually been tagged in one of these. i know it’s been quiteeee a while since ive posted so i thought maybe this might be fun? i might be writing a more serious less fun post but… yeah not right now lol
favorite color: purple, like a lavender, ironically kyoya’s lavender haha
currently reading: V for Vendetta for a class, and i just finished Black Klansman which was really interesting actually
last song: oooh uhmmmm… i think it was Change pt. by RM
last movie: aha… Tyler Perry’s Madea Goes To Jail…. listen my boyfriend and i thought it would be funny we’ve started liking the Madea movies
last series: The Office on REPEAT specifically the superfan episode version on Peacock there’s genuinely so much they removed and i can see why YIKES
sweet/savory/spicy: ooooo don’t get me on food rn i’m at the point in my calorie deficit where i have to be ok with going to bed hungry but god i’d kill for something savory right about now
craving/s: DO NOT do this to me, i’m craving being skinny!!!!!!! (seafood boil…)
tea/coffee: neither, actually. i want to get into tea but something about a floral taste i just cannot get behind
currently working on: haha… see, it’s actually a really funny story— listen, i WANT to be working on Indeed, i just have sooooo much going on right now i forget tumblr exists, and i took a scriptwriting class that actually debilitated my ability to write and i’m not gonna talk about it because i’m very upset but i’m getting back into the practice!
ooh no i do not have any tumblr friends but let’s see
tagging: @lazylittledragon @borathae @jungshookz ok i’m sorry for breaking the rule of 9 but i only follow ppl who i reaaaaally look up to their fic writing so they’re all too famous to be my friends guys
rules: tag nine people you want to get to know better
Tagged by @indrid-hot - thanks a bunch!
Favorite Color: A nice, warm, sunny orange - but also honestly most other colors of the rainbow and then some.
Currently Reading: The Tevinter Nights Dragon Age short story collection.
Last Song: L'appuntamento - Ornella Vanoni
Last Movie: Ah, gosh. HM. I haven't watched anything that's not a TV show in a while. I semi-voluntarily caught the last fifteen minutes of Scrooged over the winter holidays I guess?
Last Series: Last series I watched any part of is, as always, "Emergency!" because I will never not be stuck in 70's paramedic hell. If we're talking new-to-me shows, a friend's making me watch Grey's Anatomy (early seasons) once a week, probably because observing my growing despair about the characters' poor life choices is fun. I don't even normally watch medical shows, and yet here we are lol
Sweet, Savoury, Spicy: Savory if I had to pick
Craving: Some good spaghetti with olive oil and obscene amounts of lightly toasted garlic.
Tea/Coffee: Yes please, lol
Currently working on: OH BOY WHAT A QUESTION.
Spinning: Gotland on my spindles (4-ply, one single per spindle, for funsies - except I accidentally mixed up which bits of fiber go with which single on which spindle, so that'll be fun to sort out...), 7oz/200g of red Merino on the wheel (for a crochet hat, followed by 9.5 oz of red and black Merino for a woven scarf). But also 24.5oz/700g of grey Merino. And cotton on the supported spindle. And I've got some laceweight viscose on the mini turkish spindle that I should really work on...
Crocheting: Half a dozen things, including a lacy collar that needs buttons and blocking, a gigantic star-shaped wrap-around shawl, an incredibly boring granny square top for my little sister, and too many others to count.
Art: The Emergency! tarot as the eternal never-ending WIP; I also have some Dragon Age Veilguard related plans revolving around the Grand Necropolis and irl Catacomb Saints and I'd love to get some DA-style tarot cards done for all my player characters.
Writing: I still have a couple unfinished fanfics that need another chapter, as well as two deeply self-indulgent OC/Emergency! crossovers that friends are making me write, and I also have some Dragon Age stuff in the works - though if anyone will ever see that is another question entirely.
Music: Practicing various stuff for LARP; also slowly chipping away at Hozier's Work Song because my partner asked nicely.
With no pressure, I will tag: @geminyde, @caseyscraftycorner, @swords-n-spindles, @alpacazappa, @rosesonneptune, @rose-of-pollux, @zooarchaeologyatdinner, @kalikatze aaaaand I can't decide on a 9th person to tag so whoever wants to do this: You're It!
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— ⌈ dean x reader headcanons that are way too specific and very important TO ME! ⌋
『 part 2 of @bejeweledinterludes’ headcanon series. 』
read my headcanons part 1 here!
↳ . . . YOOOOO HEYYYY here’s a part 2 since everyone seemed to like the first one! thinking about doing a solely nsfw headcanon post OR some chubby!reader headcanons for deano 😋 bc i’m in the trenches of ovulation week rn and my stupid thoughts have to go somewhere. also, if anyone had requests, i’d definitely be open to that as well! anyhoo enjoy my pookies <3
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> being a decent hunter, the winchester brothers had heard of you before, and you them— you’d heard stories, of course, but you never officially crossed paths until you were at bobby’s house at the same time they were. you’d known bobby— because everybody knew bobby—since you started hunting.
your greeting to them came almost as quickly as your goodbye, nodding at them with a “hey” while clambering down bobby’s front porch to your car, your usual bag full of weapons and books in hand— but not before you notice the jet-black ‘67 impala next to your own.
and you know your way around a car, having your own ‘baby-esque’ vehicle that you love more than life itself (can be vintage or newer model, doesn’t matter, because it’s yours). dean had noticed your car in bobby’s driveway immediately, too— who wouldn’t? the man had eyes.
anyways, you walk past baby in all her glory while nodding appreciatively— turning just a little to dean and tossing a free thumb towards her with a grin before saying a quick: “dude. bitchin’ car.”
and after initially being thrown off by the way you carried yourself, a mixture of confidence, respect, and almost familiarity— dean shoots back with a “could say the same about yours.”
at that remark, you freaking smiled. and dean almost fainted right then and there at the sight. you got in your car, and that was it, due to your visit to bobby’s house really being just a pit stop/supply run before you headed right back on the road again, a new hunt already waiting for you in montana.
> because despite sam and dean being the most good-looking hunters you ever laid eyes on, you weren't one to dilly dally over just a pretty face (when lives were on the line, of course). but somehow, you knew that you’d see them again. hunting wasn’t exactly a booming career field, after all.
> that being said, it took dean a while to get comfortable around you whenever you did end up working together— like a while. you’d only crossed wires with the brothers a few times, helping them out when you could on hunts over the next few years. sam and you made easy friends almost immediately, but dean took longer to warm up to you. but you didn’t mind, or take it personally. you never pushed dean to be your friend even with how much you wanted to be.
> when you guys do work together, though, you and dean understand every single pop culture reference you guys throw at each other. he was shocked when he referenced a classic 80s movie (it was weird science) while working one of your first cases together.
and not only did you understand it and laugh— you made your own joke about it. now you two can’t shut your traps once you get going (for the love of god, do not ask about die hard around them).
> dean and you have also almost blown your cover and gotten caught on hunts because you guys laugh/giggle too loud at what the other says (especially in serious situations).
your favorite running joke is finding old portraits of ugly dead guys, pointing a finger at them and saying to dean “huh, i didn’t know you were alive in *checks plaque under painting* 1837” (and don’t worry, he does the same exact thing to you.)
> dean once fell asleep on your shoulder during a stakeout/recon/watching a potential victim’s house and you didn’t move an inch the entire time. when you finally tried to gently wake him up, he had the audacity to sleepily mumble “jus’ five more minutes” into your shirt and cling to you like a koala in the car. you, being the saint and not wanting to argue, let him sleep for another 2 hours couple minutes.
> and soon enough, dean eventually came around. you knew he cared about you way before he did, but you never forced anything. he appreciated that more than you knew.
and it wasn’t just one single moment of realization like in the movies when dean knew he cared about you. it was quiet, simmering, and when he looked, it was already just… there. but the feelings he hadn’t noticed he’d been pushing down for so long came to a head on a hunt when you almost died— the way they always did when someone he cared about was hurt.
after that, something shifted. you could feel and see it, even if dean didn’t say anything outright to you. for one, he called more often when you were away— he’d need help with something you knew that he already knew damn well how to do, or with something you knew he had much better contacts for.
i mean, come on. he knows freaking rowena, and he’s calling you for assistance on a spell? and sometimes, he’d call for no reason at all, making up some excuse just to hear your voice. you never mentioned it, out of fear he’d stop calling entirely.
> because you always loved when dean called.
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you have two ( 2 ) new messages from the author ! ↓
i genuinely believe that i tweak out over this man at least 4 times a day stg. and the gif i picked lives in my mind rent-free. he looks so ethereal sigh i wish he was real 💔
ANYWAYS here’s my taglist (so far): @blossomingorchids @bluemerakis @ambiguous-avery @maddie0101 @titsout4jackles @deansbeer @sunsbaby @emeraldcrs @h8aaz @honeyryewhiskey @supernotnatural2005 @cowboysandcigarettes @soldiersgirl @figthoughts + if i missed anyone OR if you want to be added/taken off, please let me know! <3
#faith’s works . . . @bejeweledinterludes!#dean winchester#supernatural#spn#dean winchester headcanon#dean winchester x reader#dean!reader#dean x you#supernatural headcanon
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🪽
#I would kindly request some of the gacha fandom to please go touch grass at some point#my brain is about to leak out of my head#i really don’t want to be back at work rn#𝐗𝐈𝐈𝐈. [ . . . ] out of character /
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Done (heavy quotation marks) with monster Ody @evergreen292 ;)
tbh I couldn’t for the life of me pick a color palette I liked And Render it so I gave up on color. Enjoy the half assery.
Tbh I’ve just been call it Ithacan Naga, but it’s objectively it’s a mix of snake, owl/bird, and human. So 🤷.
Tbh the wings are supposed to be white/gray-brown, cause owls & Hermes, while his scales are supposed to be an oscillating scale from sea green-blue to purple-tinted gray. Uhm. Evidently that sorta didn’t happen but also did. So.
The purple/grayer scales are gonna be more around with the feathers and wings.
Those fin colors are. Too blue and too bright but I love the colors themselves so they’re staying for now.
Uhm. That’s it for now, ig. I’m sorta on a timer rn and I’m tired so <3
The writing bit with this is still in the works (😭)
#Odysseus#epic the musical#Ithacan naga au#guess that’s what we’re calling it#an Ithacan naga would deadass just be an aquatic naga#I think#the feathers and wings are cause he’s Zeus/Hermes’ kin & Athena blessed#tbh the main reason i wanted to color at all is cause I wanted easier differentiation between… everything. and actually draw the scales.#so snakes have this extra (?) bone that connects their skull & jaw which is what lets them extend it. so. ody gets that here.#resting/casual naga ody is like. 7ish ft? anything intimindation or just rising usually reaches 11-12 ft. his full length js 20 ft#naga eyes don’t have any eyelids. it looks very odd on a human (unsettling)#owl eyes don’t really have visible white scelcra#or however you spell it#nor do snakes#unsettling#maybe I’ll caption this later but hhhhh#he’s sorta supposed to be an olive sea snake and fish owl#but fuck colors rn#uhm cause he’s aquatic I suppose he does have to make up with Poseidon… uhm let’s say after everything Seidon picks up a fuss and Athena#argues back n everything and it causes a reallllly big fuss so Zeus (+ others) eventually work smth out that basically amounts to:#Don’t fuckin bother each other (intentionally)#also endgame for naga ody (he can change back and forth dw) is that he gets used to it. he doesn’t advertise it cause he’s sneaky like that#(and after he gets over the self loathing). uhmmm. yeah. It’s great cause NEREID PEN and SEA NAGA ODY#they can go on sea hunts together!!!!#ody CAN fly yes. same logic that lets Hermes fly with 2 small pairs of wings on his ankles and head.#he folds the wings when swimming and the fins fan out underwater. vice versa. his feathers are waterproof.#you can BARELY see the vauge shape of thighs/legs melting into the serpent part btw.#Ari’s art#my art#I’mma add onto this + actually type this out in a post later or smth
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I really liked “I Saw The TV Glow” for a lot of reasons like the lighting and sound design and stuff
But I also really liked it because how similar I felt to it. Like you watch a show you love so much you want to Be In It and all you do is interact with That Show to the point where you start talking like it and you make everything you see like it because you don’t Know anything else
I really liked owens character because of how Stuck he is in his life. He says he doesn’t think about “that stuff” because it makes him feel gross so he doesnt. He takes a job at a place he doesn’t like and when it gets shut down he goes with the manager to the next place also doing a job he hates. When his parents die he lives in the same house he grew up in because he doesn’t want to leave. He had one friend and when she disappeared presumed dead he didn’t do anything but reminiscenced on his time with her and watching the show she helped him watch. You can also see how he starts taking care of himself less after his father died, in the last scenes of the movie he looks like he barely eats or drinks water, he doesn’t do anything but his job. “Years feel like seconds” because he isn’t doing anything of importance he lost everything that he looked forward too
He doesn’t talk above a normal speaking volume until he’s literally DYING and even after he apologizes still out of breath. He’s still dying then. No one responds to his apologies or responded to him when he was screaming
He gets a chance to leave and go with Maddie to The Pink Opaque and he gets scared, he gets a chance to leave with her when he was younger and he gets scared. He’s so unhappy with his life but he doesn’t want to change it because he doesn’t know what else to do
#yeah this movie totally didn’t resonate with me at all#haha#fuck#also he didn’t say anything or really try to wxplore not being a guy except that one time he wore a dress with Maddie. he didn’t even bring#it up with his parents but they made little comments that made him scared. so for the rest of his life he didn’t think about it he tried to#hide how he felt his entire life about everything because he didn’t Want to live his life. he was happy while watching The Pink Opaque so#everything else felt like he was waiting to get back to it#when he rewatched it years later it didn’t feel the same and that’s when he started falling apart. you could see his ribs when he was on th#ground in one of the last scenes his inhaler didn’t work he didn’t do anything to try and get help or get out of it#uhhhhh do I tag the movie#I think I will I liked writing this#I wanna talk about it more but idk How rn#i saw the tv glow#woo hoo!!#the feeling this movie gave is one that got me to start making dextrine and stuff. I don’t want to say too much and spoil it but it’s simil#similar ((:
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Do any other self shippers feel guilty when they start focusing on a new f/o?
#okay so I feel kinda bad rn because scratch been my main for awhile now and still is#like my self ship with him is a comfort ship for me#but bill kinda took over and I feel a bit guilty because one) I’m not focusing a lot on scratch like I use too#two) I feel like people who probably followed me for my ship with him are going to get disappointed because I keep focusing on bill#like I make jokes about scratch always pulling me back everytime I get a new crush but I wasn’t expecting to fall so hard for bill#don’t get me wrong scratch is still my 1st main and I’m still going to draw my ship with him and work on that comic#but rn I’m just really focused on bill#like I know I have a habit of jumping f/o(s) at times but this feels different#and I been feeling kinda sad about it#so I don’t know if others in the community have felt this or worry about disappointing other who followed them for something else#and I know it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want but I still stress about it#💬 chy chatter 💬
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so
#last night was really so so so fun and it was super hard to get myself to go out? like#in the sense of I really wanted to because I knew it would be fun but I also knew my anxiety was eating me alive#and it would be an obstacle getting through that without alcohol and I need to be … careful#but I got fun drunk and didn’t have too bad of a hangover and didn’t feel super anxious once we got out :#and a different friend wants to make plans for tonight but I am really bad at making plans in advance because sometimes I physically can’t#do things after work bc tired bc neuro disorder and it’s frustrating to my friend with severe control issues#bc she needs to make specific plans like a week out and I’m like erm babe I can’t like#do that? and then if I don’t feel well day of and need to be home she gets (rightfully) frustrated because I’m bailing but it’s#challenging. and you don’t understand unless you live with it.#and it’s frustrating for us both. I don’t want her to think I don’t value her because I do and I force myself out often enough bc I#genuinely feel bad. but it’s so fucking hard sometimes . she also lives sort of far so going from work and having#to drive an hour to her place to then go somewhere and be out like#I’m spent before I even get there#friend I saw last night and I don’t talk consistently but when we do it’s always the same vibe and so fun and we just catch up about life#I feel like when I see my other friends they have things to always talk about because they’re in a discord call almost every night#I don’t have the energy!!!!!!!!!! like I’m so sorry that’s so much for me#idk she isn’t answering me now but if she wants to do something I need to know in the next hr bc if not I’m literally going to bed#I love her but there’s a disconnect between us rn and I don’t know how to mend that gap#but I do love her friendship so I’m just like. sigh#idk it would be different if she was closer and I know that#I hope getting back on medication helps get me being more social again. I’m just so tired this week that speaking is hard lol
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will i ever feel genuine joy about life again more often than once every six months or is this just it. like is this just going to be that for now.
#and i get the ‘it’s about small joy’ i live by that too but sometimes you just want to feel good about your life in general u know#sincerely feel like i fucked up one thing and now it’s just. ramifications of that forever and ever. well we will see i guess#one of the things is that what happened made it really really hard for me to talk to people and be a good friend again#and like wanting to talk about myself bc well the last time i did that it came down so horrendously i don’t know how to work through it rn#i am working through it but i feel like it will take months and years longer to come back to a state of myself where i feel genuinely good#i will unpack 2022 / 23 for years to come anyway just had to put this somewhere#gonna delete it later peace and love on planet earth#al.txt#tbd.
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screaming into the void <3
#my best friends boyfriend (who i’ve also been friends with for years) is just. not himself rn#we think it’s a manic episode but we don’t really know but it’s. terrifying lowkey#he thinks he’s genuinely jesus and that he’s conquered time and that he and my bsf are adam and eve#he’s been sending my bsf liek hundreds of texts per day since tuesday but it got really really bad and incoherent yesterday#and i woke up this morning to see multiple texts from gcs he created w me in them#and he keeps being like ‘because it’s 6:20 this is true’ and like ‘i know that at 9 pm everyone is gonna understand’#and he’ll text like 5 times then send a sc of what he just texted like that proves something but it’s all nonsense#i’m just really really concerned cause he really needs help but i don’t know how to ensure that happens cause he’s 19. not a minor#he’s just. not him rn. he’s called my bsf multiple times yesterday when he HATES calling normally#he had his band and his mom over in his apartment yesterday cause my bsf called his mom and h went to his bands show but was visibly not ok#and he saw nothing weird about it even tho he hates having ppl over normally and never without warning#and you can’t get him to see logic because everything you say he just twists around to work for him#to be clear it was not this bad when it started. when it started it seemed like normally maybe slightly out there conclusions he was drawing#but it just got worse and worse like exponential decay and really bad yesterday#he also didn’t sleep at all yesterday night and idk if he slept tonight#i know his mom took his phone at one point but he texted me and gcs w me in it starting at like 6:20 this morning#and my bsf and i and friends are on a trip out of state rn but we’re leaving today and i don’t wanna wake her up until i have to because#this is literally hell for her. but it’s just. scary. i don’t know what to do. i don’t think there’s any good options really for me rn#i want to warn ppl and try to explain he’s Not Him rn so they don’t get concerned but who knows if they’ll understand what i’m trying to say#i know it’s not the end of the world but it really feels like the end of my world as i know it if that makes sense#and my bsf lives with him in an apartment near their college and they just signed the lease for the next year#but she can’t stay there with him alone. not until he gets help. we’re all too scared it’s going in the directon where he thinks it’s better#for ppl to go to the afterlife. which like he never would normally. but he’s Not Him and so like. who knows#he keeps talking about all these different dimensions and how you need to travel to the 7th dimension to understand#my bsf was crying yesterday and she called her mom to explain and she keeps saying that she just wants her jake back it’s really scary#cause he will probably never be the same again. he’ll be similar but different but she wants his comfort but he’s Not Him. and can’t give it#i just. really want this to get better but it’s so hard to see that happening rn
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Stayed up too late and now I’m scared
#I’m fine. I’ll be fine#I’m gonna dieeeeee I will be behind on school work!!!#actually anxiety canceled it’s now time to be a bitch#not even really but this person I went on a weird date with I thought it’d be chill if we stayed friends and I straight up don’t like them#first date was fine. we talked a lot and they spent the night BUT we didn’t have sex or even kiss#we cuddled in the morning a little but that was also weird. since then I have not loved our hangs#I feel like they aren’t nice Enough to service workers and make weird judgy comments and the last time we were out their backpack was sooo-#in the way of the staff at the restaurant and it didn’t need to be and they just like let their hair get EVERYWHERE and it’s nasty#I showed up 20 mins late to our last hang#I barely text them back and it’s ALWAYS them reaching out first and I do one text responses#but they just texted asking to get drinks on Sunday if I’m bored. NO? also I think they didn’t let me pay on the first date#one of us has to or it’s not a date to me. we take turns or we’re not even friends#and we’re not really friends the hangs are not that fun like maybe I’m just too much of a sweetheart but. the conversations are dry#its like coworker talk to me. that’s not fully true it’s sometimes more interesting but it’s also so nothing#whatever I could communicate better but I think I’ll just ignore the text bc the only thing I want to send rn is ‘busy’#I wish they would drop it but also that makes me feel kind of hypocritical as someone who tries to reach out to people a lot#also for those who don’t know I almost always fuck on the first date - the fact that they came home n we didn’t have any sex?#we even talked abt practicing safe sex so we acknowledged that we both have it. we just didn’t. I dont wanna with them but still how boring#‘if you’re feeling bored n wanna get drinks again or smth’ shut uuuuup!!! i don’t know you and I don’t respect your time!#they deserve better bc i literally don’t care abt them or respect their time. like if i were them id drop me.#thats not negative self talk or anything either i just have been a bad friend cuz I don’t care. so go talk to sm1 else!
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🎶I have this thing where I make a new show/album my personality every 3-6 months—🎶
#rn it’s new girl#October was Steven universe which is painfully ironic in hindsight#😀#AND ALSO AGATHA ALL ALONG we had two shows in the fall thank goodness#we had a brief book of bill obsession#this summer was tortured poets#last spring it was the office#what will the next one be#ladybug? pnf?#I love both of those shows but it’s not really healthy for me to make them my personality😅#I’m hoping to like#be excited but chill for all the new content#it is cool that the two shows that really got me into fandom will likely be airing new stuff at the same time tho#I do need to finish adventure time but I don’t see myself becoming obsessed with that beyond the pre existing bubbaline obsession#anyway#fandom#cadence rambles#ik there’s lots of newer Disney cartoons as well but i just don’t find myself intrigued by any of them#I miss the high fantasy of toh and amphibia but that era is over#I’m not really interested in the misadventures of a bunch of random children on an island 😅#NO OFFENSE TO ANYONE WHO WANTS TO WATCH THAT OR GOD FORBID WORKS ON IT#I’m just not the target demographic and not intrigued that’s ok!#I’m enjoying stuff about adults more these days (other than stuff I grew up with)#like new girl they’re all in their late 20s and barely have their lives together and I’m only 24 it just makes me feel normal and alright#rather than looking back to my past and mourning what I could have been#anyway. diary entry over.
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definitely feeling overdramatic right now, but i am SO overwhelmed from the stress of that trip and everything that happened before it and everything i have going on between now and the end of the year, that i would like to not interact with a single nother person for two weeks minimum.
#irl… online… anything#i honestly think that would fix me#i just don’t wanna see ANYone#i am soooooooo unhappy#like. not to be a huge baby but i really need support rn and instead i’m supporting everybody else#i am completely at the end of my rope though#i didn’t know it was possible to be THIS done#just completely burnt out… i finally got there!#but instead i have to do fucking Thanksgiving tomorrow#and then work and do TWO programs on Friday#and then drive to North Carolina for the concert. and drive back#and it’s just like. Man.#i REALLY can’t live like this#and do you KNOW how much i still need to get done before the end of the year?????#and i’m going to another concert next Thursday#and then i have a bird walk on Friday#and a Christmas party on Saturday#and ANOTHER bird walk on Sunday#just AHHHHHH. UGH UGH UGH#and that’s not even discussing regular work and SCHOOLWORK and volunteer shit#just fuck#i’m so done#don’t wanna do anything… don’t wanna see anybody#i just want to move away and never speak to anyone again#fuck
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imagine if we all mourned the guy only for him to dramatically return w nobara and then use the power of love and limitless to defeat sukuna but immediately lose to kenjaku (bc love is also this man’s weakness) and gracefully die but this time with no regrets and more faith in his students
#imagine that#bc i was thinking (while drawing stsg and abandoning all my work) that his death is weirdly unjustified and underwhelming#like the math ain’t mathin bro. make it make sense#ngl i really don’t think there is any version of this story that can be told w/o gojo dying. but rn? the timing isn’t right#i’m just gonna wait for the next few chapters i feel like somethings gonna happen????#but that could also just be me in denial. or like a dull state of shock bc gege can’t nuke his story just like that i think#nobaras coming back though there will be no jujutsu kaisening w/o her#anyway gojo isn’t even my fav bro why am i overthinking this.#when i said i want to study him under a microscope i didn’t mean like THIS *gestures to his remains*#jjk#jjk spoilers#jjk 236#jujutsu kaisen#gojo satoru
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my workplace is gonna have extended hours coming up so my life is going to be miserable for 2 months starting in 2 weeks
#i guess i should just give up on having a sleep schedule or any routine or a life outside of work#how can i leverage my seniority to make my situation better. idk if i can since my managers don’t particularly like me it seems#i’m also like way too embarrassed to be like hey. please don’t make my life hell as much#when that’s pretty much the whole gig during the holidays#whatever. it’s so busy in december that it kind of flies by in a haze#not in a good way but at least it doesn’t drag#and it will be fun probably for 2 weeks + then it will be fun to complain about for another week before there’s nothing fun about it anymore#whatever i just need to find a way to frame it in my mind so that it’s not torture#like pretend i’m in a video game or something#and drink an absurd amount of coffee every day#maybe i should try to find a psychiatrist or something before it gets too busy. like if possible#get back on antidepressants because even my current mental health baseline is not good rn. tbh#idk just pondering. i want to make it through the winter still alive + employed + not failing out of my certificate program#(+ i’m already on thin ice with that last goal. i can’t get away with another fuck up)#anyway this is so dramatic but it really is the shittiest time of the year
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#gonna make a really personal and selfish post but idk where else to write#i don’t know how to explain this to my bf cause it’s only been a month and i didn’t even get to tell him about 1d#and now ill never get to share that in the way i wanted to#this is how im gonna have to introduce and merge those part of me that are so close to my heart#and i just don’t know how to do it#we usually call when we get back from work but i couldn’t cause i broke down as soon as i came home#and i know he saw my story that’s probably why he didn’t call either#i just don’t know how to explain or if someone who didn’t experiment this can even understand#and i feel bad that he can’t be the first thing in my mind rn#and i don’t know how to say that without making it sound like a celeb is more important#but at this moment it is#cause it’s not some celeb it’s a huge part of me#i wouldn’t be here without 1d and now i have to keep going when he won’t
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I’m back! Well, not necessarily, but I’m on the road back home. I am mentally exhausted, but my break back in Mexico was fun! I won’t exactly get back to posting normally, but I will in a few days
#yeyarants#nobody probably cares#but to the few mutuals that do#hello again!#I’ve been offline the past two weeks and haven’t gotten checked on things in a bit#i NEED to watch the two TGCF season 2 episodes before posting my reaction to them#but I need a bit of a break rn lol#the break felt like nothing and now I gotta go back home#like I miss it… but also not really#Mexico just feels so different but in a good way#I will post my reactions to episodes 9 and 10 don’t worry#and the small bits of time to myself I’ve been trying to write something#I’m halfway done#and my plan is to post it here in February#and if not hopefully by March#it’s something I’ve been working on and I want to share it but I also feel self conscious about it#but it’s the most I’ve ever written!#and really want to share it#it’s basically an OTP prompt thing which is writing something about said OTP every day of the month#and if you know me then you know which two ships#Idc if it doesn’t get that much attention#even just a little bit would make me happy and I plan on posting it on ao3 and sharing it on my blog#still don’t know if I should make post it chapter by chapter or making a series and posting each prompt individually#the prompts were like one to three words and I wrote quite a lot for it#the average for most of them are around 700 words#but again#felt like sharing this small update and what I’ve been doing
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