#i really do think it all ties back to the way the writers idolize angel

[greensaplinggrace]

unfortunately a large portion of the issue with spike's soul is that the decision was forced into the narrative for a number of shitty reasons, and i firmly believe that one of those reasons was angel. angel set a precedent of excusing one's actions if there's a soul tied to them. he set a precedent of separating the soulless personality from the souled one. the way he's idolized throughout the show leads to the writers attempting to keep forcing that black and white false dichotomy into future scenes where they are no longer applicable.

the reason spike was pushed over the moral event horizon to obtain his soul is because his existence without one put everything about angel's character into question - especially the way his soulless actions were excused. spike's very existence as a soulless creature that performed better than angel and who was developing positively in the story made people question our beloved star crossed angel's motives, and subsequently every theme surrounding soullessness and real love in a way that the writing team didn't want. because bringing that into question unfortunately brings the truth of buffy's romance with angel into stark clarity.

i think this is one of the biggest reasons for the sloppy and cheap way seeing red was handled. i think this is one of the biggest reasons for the way the show treats spike's soul and excuses his actions afterward (in the way that happens with angel). and i think it's the worst proponent for the way season seven goes down the fucking shitter.

[atalho-s]

Light Up The Dark

Part 1 | June

pairing: bartender!tom x famous!reader

warnings: some smut +18 (in this particular chapter it’s nothing TOO explicit, but miniors be aware), swear words?, drinking, let me know if anything else!

words: 4.9 k

summary: y/n is a famous horror writer. Her books are on the lips of the people and her face is on all the magazine covers of promising young people.

She has just moved to Los Angeles, the city of celebrities and luxury, when she starts to get a writer's block as she starts writing her newest book. A way to distract herself and seek inspiration leads her to have her destiny mapped out with a simple waiter named Tom who has a delicious british accent.

What happens when her inspiration comes back only after she spends a night with him and she only manages to write after being in the company of that guy she just met? Maybe he'll become her newest addiction.

a/n: english it’s not my first language, so i’m sorry for any mistake! this is a series i started writing a while ago, i hope y’all enjoy :) the reader it’s from brazil here, but you can replace from any country you want lol And obv i’m not from LA and never been there, so if i say something out of reality it’s bc of that 😂

"June arrived at the restaurant, sat down near the bar and looked around vaguely. The strange people's faces made her think better and maybe drink a shot of tequila too.

She opened his folder with the horrifying photos of the mysterious case. She felt sick to her stomach.

People said that by then she should have been used to see this kind of thing, but that was repulsive.

She wish the nightmare she had the night before was a way to solve that puzzle, but believing in the afterlife now wouldn't help her... If...If..."

- Damn it... - Y/n slammed her fist on the table. - Writer's block sucks. - She said and took the last sip of her tea.

It s been a week since she couldn't write anything. She would write maybe two paragraphs, maybe even three if she got lucky, but she always ended up erasing it, because she always turned into something meaningless or too cliche.

Damn the time she had promised to deliver something to her editor by the end of the month. But she hadn't counted on the lack of ideas when she agreed to that.

She got up from her chair in frustration and crossed her arms, pacing, as if her creativity had gone out for a walk and she was waiting impatiently for it to come back.

Why had she agreed to write a new book in the first place? She didn't need money. Their previous four books were already making huge profits, and they were going to make a new television series based on one of them.

So why writing another one? Maybe because, she had been having too many nightmares lately. Many family and friends told her to see a psychologist, see if she didn't have some hidden trauma. But looking for a psychologist? Admitting your weaknesses and personal things to a stranger? Never. That would be horrifying.

Writing helped. Transferring his fears to pages was hers gift. When she wrote she didn't have nightmares, didn't see things, wasn't sad. It was like a drug, a calming medicine.

Maybe fame was also making her restless lately. She hated being the spotlight, being the magazine cover of promising young people. She hated to see her name highlighted. But she loved having readers, yes. She loved when someone felt good reading her books or in the good sense of the word: terrified by her stories.

At the height of her 25 years, he never thought her books would become famous at that point. She had always enjoyed writing since she was a child, but working with it was just an unattainable dream. Until, at age 19, she quit her hideous job as a hotel receptionist and decided to publish her first story.

Obviously there were many rejections, until a publisher agreed to publish their work. From then on, her books became more and more known. They called her the new horror genius, the mystery queen, and sometimes even "Stephen King's lost daughter."

She didn't think it was all that. But she accepted the descriptions gladly. No wonder her books didn't come out of the top spot on the best sellers.

Another thing that motivated her to continue with that story, was a phrase from her own idol mentioned, Stephen King: "good stories are those that stay in the head for a long time". And God only knew how that story had been with her for far too long. She always wanted to put it down on paper, so here she was trying to put into words what her head brought up as random thoughts.

But now she was having one of his first creative blocks. Obviously she had already had it with previous books, but nothing as frustrating as this one. She had been trying hard for days, which was exhausting.

She looked at the clock on the wall: 11pm. Who knows if she took another break before starting writing again? Maybe it would help to come up with more ideas.

She thought about watching a show or movie, but he wasn't in the mood. She looked at her long polka dot pajamas under her favorite warm robe and snorted. Go out? On a Thursday night? On a cold night? No way.

But what if it helped her have more writing material? Watching people on the street really helped. If June, the character in her book, was in a bar, maybe if she went to one too it would help to have something to build on.

Writers did it all the time. Describe places that already existed, situations similar to which they lived. So, it wouldn't be new. Maybe she'd even put the location in her tribute if helped she got out of her creative block.

She took a deep breath and went to take a shower. It was decided, she would go out. She put on her best jeans, a Ramones T-shirt with a leather jacket. It wasn't a fancy outfit, but she didn't intend to go somewhere fancy anyway. Her stylist would have been dying to see her now, but she didn't care one bit.

She went out pressing the bottom of the elevator. Y/n had lived on the top floor of a building for 2 months, right in downtown Los Angeles. Sometimes she didn't even know why she chose to live there, she hated the big city and what came with it: paparazzi, celebrities, crazy people who feel superior, wealth and luxury. She came from a humble family, so she always felt like an outsider.

Y/n arrived downstairs and left the condominium calling a taxi that was passing in the street just in time. She walked in and closed the door, crossing her arms, trying to ward off the cold.

- Good night miss, where are you going? - the driver asked looking at her in the rearview mirror.

- Good night... Actually I don't know, do you have any suggestions for a bar around here?- she asked looking out the window. She didn't even bother to look for suggestions for places nearby.

- Well, it depends on what you're looking for... Something luxurious or something fun? - He said and a smiled played on the corer of her mouth. Luxurious was the opposite of fun indeed.

- Something fun, of course.

- So, I suggest the new Seven Devils bar, it's less than 20 minutes from here... - he said.

- Interesting name... Could be. - She said shrugging.

- The name is kinda creepy, but the place is cozy and welcoming, I went once. - the driver said starting and entering the street that was practically empty for being a weekday.

- Cool... - Y/n said looking at the city lights through the window.

After nearly twenty minutes the taxi stopped in front of what appeared to be a small door with a security guard in front of it. The neon sign indicated the name of the place, it seemed a mysterious place for those who passed by without knowing it.

- Thanks. - Y/n said handing the driver the money.

- You're not the Y/n Y/l/n? I didn't want to say anything, but I'm a fan of you, I love your books, they help me pass the time while I wait for passengers. - the driver asked turning a little with one of the Y/n books in his hand. - Could you sign this for me?

- Sure! - Y/n spoke excitedly taking the book from his hand and leaving a message along with her signature. - Thanks for the tip of the place. Have a good night... - She said opening the door.

- No, thank you, have a good night miss. -he said and she smiled closing the door and the taxi left leaving her alone looking at the door in front of her.

She approached the security guard who wished her good night, giving her room to enter, after she showed her ID. Y/n entered a little afraid of what she would find. The door behind her closed and she looked around. It was really cozy as the taxi driver said, it had a part with several tables, which were a little empty and a bar with stools around. The place had a good atmosphere, one of those that people go there to meet and chat with friends, in the background there was a kind of pop song that she wasn't sure if she knew or not.

He slowly approached the bar and sat down on one of the stools. A woman with several tattoos appeared behind the counter and came to serve her.

- Good night! How can I serve you?- she asked with a smile.

- Good night... Hm... Maybe a martini? - Y/n said taking a look at the drinks on the shelf behind the attendant.

- Okay, I'll be back with your order, anything else?

- That's it for now, thanks. - She replied smiling and the attendant walked away.

Y/n kept looking around, watching people, maybe looking for some inspiration. Something that would turn the key in his mind. Many who were there were in groups of friends and were talking animatedly, laughing. Some young and some older, in suits and ties, perhaps coming out of work.

Until one guy in particular caught her attention. He wore the black uniform with the name of the place, with an apron tied around the waist of the same color, and was picking up some glasses from some empty tables. He had dark brown hair slicked back and eyes the same color, very expressive and large. A boy's face from the outside, but on the inside had a mysterious and confident air.

He balanced a tray full of things with an greatest skill in one hand and smiled at some people, he seemed charming because everytime he left a table he left people whispering and giggling embarrassed behind his back.

He walked over and entered the bar placing the tray behind the counter, came close to the other attendant who already had the Y/n martini ready and she could hear him talking, soon realizing he had a perfect accent.

- Sally, you can leave it to me, go take your break. Whose martini is it?- he asked taking a look around.

- Oh thank you, my feet are killing me. It's the girl over there. -she said indicating Y/n with her head and he looked at her, making Y/n realize that she was staring at him for too long, so she looked away embarrassed.

- Okay. - he said looking at where Y/n was sitting and stopped in front of her with the glass. - Good night miss, here is your order. - He spoke with a british accent. Only at that moment did Y/n realize that his accent was well loaded and God only knows how much she loved that accent.

- Oh yes, thank you very much. - She said raising her eyes to look at him and smiled then he blinked with one of his eyes and gave her one more look, before going to deliver another order to a man who was sitting a few benches away.

Y/n felt a shiver all of a sudden, that boy had made her legs a little weak and she didn't really know why. I mean, he was handsome, very handsome and he had a special charm, but it wasn't that much, was it? Maybe it was because it had been a while since she'd dated anyone. When was the last time? Two months ago? Since she had moved in she hadn't gone out with anyone, she had locked herself in her apartment and was writing like crazy. She didn't have time to go out, not even with her friends when she was working on a new book. Which brought them dissatisfaction from time to time, not just because she didn't hang around with them, but because she didn't even go out on one-night stands.

She never been the one that going out with a guy just for sex, she had to have some good first dates and maybe she would take him to see her apartment or go to his apartment. Friends of hers thought she was too old in her spirit, but what can he do? If she couldn't be bad girl once in a while. For a moment she thought, "For this english guy I would be" but shook her head away from the thoughts. She went back to analyzing him, dammit why did he have to be so fit? She could see that the T-shirt he was wearing highlighted his muscles that were only left to her imagination, she found herself biting her lip a bit and snatching her martini off the counter, taking a big sip.

The attendant approached again, drying some glasses with a towel, and took one more look in her direction where she looked away quickly making him smirk. He stopped in front of her again, bracing her arms on the counter, making her swallow hard. He didn't know why she was so nervous, he was just a guy, no biggie.

- I like the shirt. - He pointed with a smile, which made her think he had a beautiful and endearing smile. She looked down and then looked at him smiling too.

- Thank you... Ramones is everything... - she said and drank the last sip of her drink placing the empty glass in front of her right after. - Can you serve one more?

- Sure...- he said, still smiling, took the bottle and filled his glass again. - Trying to distract yourself on a thursday night?

- Yeah... you could say yes... - she said taking another sip. - Have you worked here for a long time?

- In fact, it's been almost six months since I moved to the United States and I've been working here for four months. -he said putting the towel that was in his hand on his shoulder.

- Hm... You're from London?

- I am, wow how did you find out? - he asked raising an eyebrow playfully and she smiled.

- Yeah, your accent really doesn't give out anything ... - she said and he gave a low laugh making her have more goose bumps.

- You also have a different accent, have you lived here for a long time? - he didn't know who she was, which was good. But it also wasn't like she was recognized all the time, despite her face being on magazine covers, she was still a writer, so she was only recognized by those who liked to read or who vaguely remembered her face.

- I was born in Brazil actually, but I've lived here for years, lived in another city for almost five years and now I've decided to come to Los Angeles two months ago...

- I see ... - he said organizing some drinks that were on the counter. - Do you like it here?

- More or less... It's a busy city, isn't it?

- Yeah, it's not for anyone. - He said shrugging. - I like it, I like the rush, but the glamor part really isn't me. - the attendant said and she smiled.

- You're right... I mean, I don't like the glam too much either... - She looked away at her nails.

- What do you work with? - he asked and she looked at him again.

- I'm a writer...

- Nice! What do you write? - He asked curious looking at her with attention.

- I write horror and thriller books.

- Interesting... I would never read, actually I'm not much of a reader anyway, but I wouldn't, because I'm terrified of those things. - He said crossing his arms and she laughed.

- Oh, it's not that terrifying, it's just stories. - She said leaning her elbows on the counter.

- Still, I prefer to have my good night's sleep intact. - He said and she laughed making him smile looking at her.

When she was about to say something, a customer signaled for him and he excused himself going towards the man who was furthest away.

Y/n sighed. She still didn't have any new ideas about her story, but she was entertained by that conversation. She liked not being recognized, she liked him not being interested in her books, for a moment she felt oblivious to anything, liked feeling disconnected from her world.

He returned shortly after and they started talking again. They talked about bands, movies, superficial celebrities and even politics (an important topic in Y/n's vision, who was very firm with her ideas, thankfully he had passed the test). She found out that he was the same age as her and that he moved to the US to look for something that would give him money or a perspective on life, ended up getting that job and intended to stay until he found a different area. The hours passed and they kept finding subjects to give their opinion or questions to ask each other.

- Did you go to college? - she asked after a while.

- No, I don't think I'm smart enough for that, or have the patience. What about you?

- Everyone is smart enough. I started going to business school, but I dropped out when my books started to pay off...

- Wow, your books should give you a good amount of money to be able to drop out of college and dedicate yourself to them...

- Yeah... You could say that. - She shrugged.

- You know looking at you closer like that...- he said getting a little closer and she held her breath for a moment. - I've seen you somewhere...

- Really? - She said raising her eyebrow and drinking from a straw, now with a different drink.

- I don't know, you're not strange to me... - he said putting his hand on his face thoughtfully.

- Well, I hope it's from somewhere nice. - She smiled and he smiled back looking at her. - Do you have a girlfriend or are you married? - Y/n asked and regretted a little, what was she thinking? He wasn't married, as he didn't have a ring on his finger as she'd noticed. But what was her intention by asking that question? She didn't even know, she just knew it had escaped her.

- Neither darling. - He replied smiling a little mischievously and she felt butterflies with the way he called her by that nickname and with that accent. - How about you?

- Neither ... - She replied avoiding looking at him, those eyes hypnotized her and she didn't like to feel at his mercy of a guy she had just met. She took the cell phone disguising but paid attention to the time. - My God, it's already 2:00 in the morning! I completely missed the time.

- I think the company ended up distracting you. - He said still not taking his eyes off her and she felt her cheeks heat up.

- Yeah, the chat was really good... But I have to go... - she said getting up.

- If you wait I can take you home, I'm already leaving, the bar is already closing. - he said and Y/n looked around seeing that some waiters were already collecting some things from the tables.

She thought for a moment, take a ride home with him? It didn't make sense, she had just met him, but at the same time she had enjoyed talking to him so much. He didn't seem like a bad person, but even so you would never know for sure. At the same time she never took any chances, why not let that pretty boy take her home? Finally, she thought: you know what? Screw this.

-Erm, ok...- She shrugged. - I'll go to the cashier to pay and wait for you outside?

- No need to pay darling, it's on me. - He spoke winking and she smiled.

- Oh no, I'll pay no problem...

- Your company has paid off your debt, it's ok. - He replied and she took a deep breath rolling her eyes.

- If you insist...- she said giving up.

He came out from behind the counter and motioned for her to follow him, arriving at the front door where the security was.

- Tuwaine, you can let her pass, it's on me. - He told the big guy and he looked at the english man, sawing his eyes suspiciously and smiling right away. Making Y/n laugh inside.

- Meet you outside? It will only take a few minutes - the attendant said and she nodded, leaving in the cold night.

She leaned against the door with her thoughts. She had come here just to get inspiration and to have her creative back, but she was coming home with an english guy. She didn't even recognize herself anymore, but to say she wasn't anxious (in a good way) was a lie.

She was lost in her thought, until minutes later he came out wearing a denim jacket, which made him look even more handsome.

- Let's go? - He said and she followed him to an old car parked right in front of the bar.

He opened the door for her to get in and she thanked him by sitting in the passenger seat, pulling on her seat belt as he closed the door. He sat down next to her right away, also putting on his belt.

- Hey, before we go: I didn't ask for your name! If you're going to take me home at least I have to know that- she asked realizing that she didn't even know that yet and he looked towards her smiling.

- Tom Holland. - He said stretching his hand. - Nice to meet you.

- Y/n Y/l/n- she said, squeezing his hand. And you can't deny that she felt butterflies in her stomach as she felt her skin on hers.

- Your name is not strange to me, I must have read it in one of your books in some shop window. - He said starting and leaving with the car.

- Yeah, who knows ... - she said and he turned on the radio leaving the volume low.

They were exchanging a few words until she indicated that they had arrived at the building where she lived. Tom parked and looked up in a daze.

- Wow, you really have money... - he said and she took off her belt turning towards him.

- A little bit...- she replied crossing her arms. - Well, thank you so much for the ride...

- You're welcome darling. - He said turning his eyes to her. Again that nickname that sounded perfect on his lips.

She turned around, but when she was about to open the door, she turned back to Tom, who was leaning with one hand on the steering wheel and watching her with attention. The next words escaped her again and she was afraid she'd regret it.

- Tom, do you want to come in? - She spoke still holding the door and the boy smiled.

- Sure ... - he said taking the key from the ignition and she shook her head slightly leaving.

He followed her and they entered the building. Tom looked at everything admired which made Y/n smile a little to herself. They entered the elevator and she pressed the penthouse button causing him to raise an eyebrow.

- You really must be a great writer. - he said and she laughed.

He leaned his back against the elevator wall, putting his hands in his pocket and looking her up and down, making her shy. He kept looking at her and it was making her nervous.

They were silent until the elevator opened after a while and they got out. Y/n put a password on the door and it swung open with a small click, she took held the latch and motioned for Tom to enter.

After the two of them entered she closed the door again behind her and watched Tom standing further on, looking around.

- Nice apartment...- he finally said.

- Thank you... - She leaned against the table at the entrance. She didn't know what to do next, maybe it had been a bad idea to bring him here. Why was she so impulsive that night? -Tom, I don't know why I invite you in, sorry...-she said a little nervous looking at her feet. He turned towards her, approaching and stopping in front of her.

- Are you sure you don't know? - He asked and she raised her head, seeing those brown eyes. She bit her bottom lip watching him closely. Damn he knew how to hypnotize her. He took another step and placed a hand on either side of her on the table, cornering her - Your body says otherwise, love... - he said softly feeling her breath hitch slowly and approaching his face to hers, alternating the look of your eyes to her lips. Y/n found another nickname that was perfect when he say.

He finally closed the distance by pressing his lips to hers. His lips were soft and warm, as if they were meant to be kissed. She returned the kiss willingly and when she laced her fingers in his neck, he licked her lower lip slowly asking for passage in which she opened them letting his tongue explore her mouth.

His hands gripped her waist and roamed her body greedily. As he kissed her, he caught her from behind her legs and sat her down on the entrance table, biting her bottom lip shortly after, provoking a low moan from her. He smiled against her lips and trailed kisses to her neck, attacking her skin with desire, making her throw her head back a little.

She grabbed his hair and pulled him back so she could kiss him. Which he gladly reciprocate. His kiss was urgent, but without being rude, he tasted like mint, making her want him even more.

His fingers found the button of her pants and he undid them quickly pulling them out, tossing them aside. When he came back he took her calf and kissed her leg up to her thighs, making her sigh. He moved up the kisses until he caught the hem of her shirt and pulled it up a little, kissing her stomach as well. Y/n didn't know what to do but feel goose bumps with every touch he gave. He then hiked up her shirt and she lifted her arms where he pulled her off, tossing along with her pants that were also on the floor.

She was just wearing her underwear in front of him, it made her a little excited and embarrassed at the same time, but the way he looked at her made her feel confident. He went back to kissing her body, this time kissing each covered breast in turn and reaching for the back of her bra and opening it. She helped him out tosiing to the side and he stood between her legs just watching her for a second, making her feel her cheeks heat up.

- Perfect... - he said with a low voice, as it was for himself and bent down to her breasts kissing each one of her nipples and then sucking them deliciously. Y/n moaned and bit her lip to keep her moans from getting louder, tangling her fingers in his hair again. He looked into her eyes for a few seconds and smiled slightly lowering his kisses to where she wanted him most.

He reached the hem of her panties and pulled them out slowly, kneeling between her legs and she looked at him with expectation. He returned the look and gave that smirk again.

- Look at you darling.... - That damn nickname. - Extremely wet and I haven't even touched you yet... - he said approaching and devouring her right away making her throw her head back with pleasure, biting her lips again to not sound so pathetic with her moans that insisted in wanting get out. - Oh, please don't drown out those wonderful sounds you make, I want to hear how good I'm making you feel. - He said in a husky tone, returning to his task after and she parted her lips letting her moans spread through the apartment.

****************************************************************************************

Y/n woke up the other day in her bed. She didn't even know how she got there, she just had flashes of the night before and how good she felt in each moment. She stretched and looked to the side seeing she was alone. She got up and put on a robe who was on the side of the bed.

After going to the bathroom and doing her morning hygiene routine she walked around the apartment looking around to see if Tom was somewhere else in the house, but found nothing. Which was understandable, it wasn't like she expected him to stay there and have breakfast with her and all.

She arrived in the kitchen and made black coffee and lean against the countertop. What that simple waiter had done to her was ridiculous, in a good sense, she felt great and kept remembering that accent that was stuck in her mind. He had consumed her in a way she had never imagined it she could be.

Taking a deep breath she set down turning her notebook on. Then opened her book and started writing.

[write-it-good-imagines]

Nothing more - Prologue Mark Tuan

Ah, hello everyone! *bows* I have made you wait, haven’t I? I am so sorry but I had something of a writer’s block these days with all the academic work and whatnot. I know you’re not here to listen to my excuses! Just as promised, here is a little something with our angel Mark which I am really thinking of turning into a series. Who knows?

Enjoy!~ 

~4.8k words, slight, angst, mentions of sex, fluff.

You had a couple of well-established rules which you followed in your daily life. There was a single golden rule you had never broken.

You didn’t do relationships.

It was the single rule you promised yourself you wouldn’t break anymore.

“Yo, Y/n, did you finally learn how to make the Last Word?”

“Piss off!” you laughed as your colleague and senior teased you, returning to the drink you were mixing. “See for yourself, then.”

“I am not much of a gin person.” He chuckled in response and took a sip from the glass, a pleased expression quickly appearing on his face. “Although this is really nice.”

You threw a small white towel on your shoulder and fixated your hands on your hips. “All in a day’s work. I’d better get ready, the opening’s in half an hour?”

“Hey, Y/n.”

You turned at your senior’s words, your eyebrow lifted in curiosity. “Why don’t you start working as a regular here? You’re a good bartender. And I’d…get to see you more often.”

A sigh escaped your lips. You hated turning down all of the nice guys. “I have a daily job I love. Besides, I have an agreement with my cousin I’d only come when you needed an extra pair of hands. I’m sorry.”

You rushed over to the staff room. You took a quick look at yourself in the tall mirror of the wardrobe and let out another heavy sigh. You opened it to retrieve your uniform, put it on, then tied your long hair in a ponytail. You ran a hand through your locks, trying to push back the unknown feeling in your chest. It wasn’t like you to pity others, especially when it was done for your own good. The music started playing loudly in the club and it was your queue to take your designated place at the bar.

The exclusive nature of your cousin’s club meant their party nights were generally filled with public people such as idols or actors who could only depart from their responsibilities ever so briefly. The club was very appreciated among the public figures, thanks to its discretion, and its events had always been a great success. It was your first event of that scale; your cousin was a persuasive person. And you couldn’t really refuse her, either. Bartending was a hobby of yours which you took great pride in from time to time.

You expected it to be a busy night, yet the amount of people continuing to come in exceeded your expectations. You barely had any time to breathe in between the orders and the various recipes, so you asked one of your colleagues to take over for you for a little while. A couple of minutes after, you noticed a distinctive group of seven people making their way to the bar and you resumed your position.

“A round of shots for us, miss!”

You took the cash and prepared only 6 shots, an American guy you knew all too well keeping his distance. The rest of the guys downed the vodka and went their way to the dance floor after confirming the aforementioned person would not join them. He then took a seat on one of the stools, right in front of you.

“And for you?”

He only smiled softly. “A coke for me, thank you.”

“Rum, whiskey, what should it be?” you questioned as you turned your back to him to grab the beverage.

“None of those. No alcohol for me tonight.”

You took two glasses out instead and the bottle of dark rum. In one of them you served him his cola, pouring yourself another one, with a pinch of rum. “Don’t tell anyone I’m drinking on duty.”

He quirked a brow at you as his fingers wrapped around the rim of the glass. You continued. “Being the driver sucks big time.”

“Not if it’s by choice.” He chuckled and raised his glass to clink to yours. You took a sip from your drink and caught a glimpse of other clients lining up for drinks, so you made a small gesture with your hand to indicate you would be back. As you prepared the cocktails, you noticed he seemed rather sad or tired and you were in a rather good mood. You could do some good in the world.

“Forgive my poor manners, but who comes to the club with his personal car?”

He lifted his head to look at you and there was something in his eyes that gave birth to a soft smile on your lips. “Honestly? I just wanted to stay home but you cannot reason with those guys.”

You nodded your head and leaned in closer to him, the loud music mixing with the sweet tone of his voice.

“You’re new here, haven’t seen you around. I am Mark, by the way.”

“Y/n.” you offered your name in response and folded your arms over your chest. “Well, you could say I am a part-timer here. This is my cousin’s club and I come and help sometimes.”

“Oh?” Mark rested his head in the palm of his hand, his finger drumming against the counter. “Part-timer yet you’re in charge of the drinks?”

“It’s a hobby, really. I think I took a liking to it.”

Mark nodded his head. “Do you…have a boyfriend?”

You clicked your tongue unconsciously and peeled yourself off the counter. It was a good conversation, too, you couldn’t help but feel disappointed. “I’m not interested.”

Mark flashed you a bright grin before pointing to a guy to the far end of the bar. “It’s rude to go and assume things like that, Y/n. That one has been staring intently at you.”

Your eyes followed his directions and discovered the barbaric stare of a man. “Yeah, I don’t know the guy.”

Mark motioned for you to lean closer to him, a faint English whisper falling from his lips. “Play along.”

He extended his hand to run his fingers through the locks of hair falling on your shoulder, occasionally curling them with a tender touch. Your eyes fell on his; a playful twinkle resided in them and a soft, yet charming smile, tugged at the corners of his lips. The English he spoke was clear, accompanied by an endearing rough tone.

“You really have to tell me what you wash your hair with. It’s really soft.”

Bursting out in an uncontrollable giggle, you looked down. “I just might. These products saved my life.”

Mark glanced to the side to check if you were still under unwanted surveillance and pulled away lazily, his fingers lingering in your hair still. “We’re good to go. He’s gone.”

You checked yourself and nodded your head at his words. You could notice a slight hue of embarrassment traversing his features but it was an undeniable cute stance. You leaned on your elbows against the counter. “Thanks for that. I might have avoided an unpleasant episode.”

“I see you’re quite popular around here.” Mark commented, gulping down the last of his drink. “I think it’s impossible no one around is your type.”

“I… I don’t do relationships.”

Mark nodded his head and felt a slight tap to his shoulder. It was one of his friends, trying to drag him into the fun. He responded indistinctly, alas standing up from his chair. He turned to you. “Hey, that’s not something bad. The choice belongs to you.”

You blinked at him as if trying to make sense of his words. “I guess so.”

“I suppose that doesn’t mean you won’t have a good chat from time to time.”

You smiled at him and it was more than enough for an answer. You grabbed a pen from the register and scribbled your phone number on an unused napkin. You offered it to Mark whose eyes widened. “What do you know? I like a good talk once in a while.”

Mark took it nonetheless with a bashful smile on his face and stuffed it in his pocket. “Thanks for the chat.”

 A couple of days later, you threw the keys of your motorcycle on the couch and your backpack to a random corner of your living room. You kicked off your shoes messily as you entered your house, a hand ruffling the hair that had been tugged in the helmet. You felt your neck stiff and your limbs weak and a groan left your lungs. Your day at work had been terrible with countless of projects flooding in and each of your superiors demanding something from you. You thanked an invisible deity that you had an afternoon shift the next day.

You took off your clothes and made yourself comfortable with only an oversized shirt and your underwear. The little commotion made your pet dog dash over to you, skipping here and there out of happiness. “Hey little one! Missed me?”

The little American Eskimo let out a short bark and decided he’d follow you as you walked to the kitchen to pour yourself a glass of wine and take care of its food right after. The dog took much interest in his meal and you smiled to yourself as the rim of the glass reached your lips.

Your eyebrows furrowed as your phone started ringing insistently. You took the glass and plopped down on the couch, an unknown number glowing on the screen of your phone. You debated whether to pick it up, suspicious it might be someone from your job who might have wished to discuss a matter that could have been easily solved in the morning, so you swore under your breath and received the call. “Hello?”

“Oh, so it wasn’t a fake number.”

The events that unraveled in the club had become a mere distant memory, which you disregarded as soon as your head hit the pillow that night. You were hesitant for a second, trying to recall who you had given your number to. “Mark?”

“I refuse to believe you forgot about me!”

You burst out laughing and so did Mark on the other end of the line. Truth be told, you never imagined he would have unfolded the piece of paper, let alone call you in the middle of a random night. You forgot you even gave it to him. “Who would have thought you would actually call a stranger, Mark?”

“Ah, come on Y/n, you’re no stranger, are you?”

You took another sip from your glass. “I suppose I gave you my name. What keeps you awake on this beautiful late night?”

“Honestly? It’s my dog. That and a stressful day.”

You chuckled at his remark and shot a look to the kitchen where your own pet was still tending to its meal.

“I figured you’d be a good companion for a late night chat.”

“I’m flattered.” You smiled, although you were quite sure Mark wouldn’t sense it on the other end. His timing was otherwise impeccable; you needed someone to talk to. “As it happens, my day was also sucky.”

You heard a sharp bark and Mark shushing his own pet. The echo of a squeaking toy indicated he gave it something to keep itself busy. “Oh? Okay then. Ladies first.”

The glass emptied so you walked yourself to the kitchen for a refill. “It’s not that complicated, really. Having a boss sucks. They also ask way too much from you.”

“Tell me about that. Always looking for, ah, quote, ‘the best result possible’.”

“Bingo.” You watched the red alcoholic liquid filling half of your glass. It was aesthetically pleasing. “I thought getting a promotion was meant to be an extraordinary thing but it’s just straight up bullshit, excuse my language.”

Mark laughed and it caused a grin to erupt on your face. The sound was enthralling in itself. “Doesn’t it also mean you’re kind of a…bigshot? What are you being promoted to?”

“I was assistant manager for the hospital I work in. But the manager is preparing to retire and I was chosen for the job at the last executive meeting. It took me by surprise entirely.”

“Congratulations! Ah, I should pour myself something to celebrate.”

“You’re late to the party. I’m on my second glass of wine.”

The soft sound of paws making contact with the floor made you look to your legs. Your dog extended its body using his back legs and you leaned down to take him in your arms. He let out a pleasant whine.

“Oh? Did you make that cute sound?”

“God, no.” you giggled and dragged yourself back to the couch, the little creature nesting in your lap. “This is Murphy, my pet dog. He’s an active guy, always jumping around. He probably curses me now that I didn’t take him out on a walk.”

“Milo does this all the time.” Mark sighed and you heard a loud pop. He must have grabbed a beer for himself. “He would never leave me alone if I don’t walk with him.”

“I would but I am very tired. I haven’t been able to sleep that well lately because of the amount of work I have to do. My phone was ringing through the night too. I cannot possibly match his energy anyway.”

“Oh my. Is there something I can do?”

“Nah.” You downed your drink and were extremely glad you grabbed the bottle on the way back. “One of those tight hugs that turns into sex would be great, though.”

You stopped midway, your hand freezing on the neck of the bottle. You scrunched up your face and let out a heavy sigh. Murphy perked up at you and yelped as if he detected your suffering. How could you say something of that caliber to someone you had scarcely met ever so nonchalantly? It wasn’t like yourself to act like that and, although it was the first time in forever you talked to someone else so casually, you were certain you ruined it greatly.

Much to your surprise, Mark laughed on the other end of the line. A hearty and sincere laugh that made your heart skip a beat.

“Well, if anything, I could walk Murphy for you.”

Strangely as if Murphy heard him, he barked and started wiggling his tail. It took you some time to register what had just happened. “Pretend I never said that, please. Just, ignore it, throw it away, empty your mind, I don’t know. I never said that.” You knew you were mumbling so you had to take another sip to counter your dry mouth. And to fool yourself into thinking it would do you no harm. “Besides, you would never come to walk my dog.”

“How do you know that?”

You scoffed. “Who in their right mind does that?”

“Walk a dog? I don’t think it’s such a dramatic issue, Y/n.”

You grabbed the bridge of your nose with your fingers and let out a chuckle. Murphy was licking your other hand, definitely restless. “What am I even saying now…”

“Not making much sense. Are you drunk?”

You heard Mark laugh and it made you roll your eyes. He was starting to annoy you, yet strangely not in the bad sense of the word. “I’m not drunk, Mark. But if you’re such a smartass, then I’m waiting for you to walk Murphy.”

“Okay, I’ll do that. Text me your address and I’ll be there as fast as I can.”

“Hmpf. I say you won’t be.”

You put him on speaker while your fingers were busy texting the address and also adding him to your contact list. Murphy whined again and jumped out of your arms, pacing around the living room.

“See? He wants me there. “

“Funny. You’d better not rile him up then leave the burden on me.”

There was a small silence on the other end of the line and there was a small part of you which was scared you upset him. “I am a man of my word. Ah, your house is close to mine! I’ll be there in thirty or forty minutes if I walk.”

“Okay. I won’t be waiting for you, then.”

Mark sighed softly and if you didn’t know better, you’d say he smiled. “Okay, don’t.”

 You turned on the TV in the living room and played a movie you had wanted to watch for some time. You threw the phone away and made yourself comfortable, dragging a blanket over your half-naked frame. You dismissed any earthly possibility that Mark would show up at your door; the wine might have had an unforeseeable effect on you but you knew better than to listen to anything a man had to say. You did too many times before and always ended up grabbing the short end of the stick. And no one would bear the suffering in your stead.

You finished your last glass and shook the grim thoughts in your mind. There was no use digging up a gruesome past.

You were startled when the doorbell rang and you checked your phone. The amount of time that passed was just right.

“Can’t be.”

Murphy took the lead and rushed to the door. You sat up and rushed to your bedroom to put on a pair of sweatpants before walking to check the security camera. You gasped in surprise and unlocked the gate for Mark to enter your garden. As soon as the door was opened, Murphy sprinted out and analyzed Mark’s dog curiously for a brief while. The breeze of the summer night was tender and still warm from the day.

You rubbed your eyes, assuring yourself the alcohol in your veins and the fatigue in your body were not playing pranks on your vision. “I can’t believe my eyes. You really came.”

Mark let go of Milo’s leash and rearranged his cap backwards, the oversized sleeves of his hoodie covering his hands. You chuckled when you noticed he was wearing shorts and slippers. He had a charm about himself.

“I can’t believe you doubted me.” He countered, kneeling down to pet your dog. “Murphy, hey buddy! I see you’ve befriended Milo already!”

You leaned against the door frame and admired how adorable he was with the pets crowding for his attention. “He usually growls at strangers. Strangely, he likes you.”

Mark looked up at you briefly with a goofy smile before resuming his previous actions. You gulped unconsciously and patted your cheeks; no matter how well you held your alcohol, the wine was definitely tampering with your senses. “I’ll go grab Murphy’s leash.”

You walked back inside the house and stopped by the kitchen sink to wash your face with some cold water. You were unsure why you just felt the way you did.

You dried your face with a napkin and grabbed Murphy’s leash on the way out, clumsily stuffing your feet in an old pair of sneakers you had lying around. When you returned, you found Mark examining your motorcycle curiously; you were too tired to open the garage.

“You ride this?” Mark turned to you, his widened eyes and genuine curiosity made you laugh. Murphy was sitting patiently for you to put his leash. “Why? Is it so unlikely for a woman to ride a bike?”

“No! It’s so cool. It’s a beautiful Kawasaki.”

Milo nudged the palm of your hand with his head, silently asking for a pet. You smiled and gave him a ruffling before handing Mark the cord. “He likes you, too.”

“Well, I guess I have his approval to steal some of your time.”

Mark waited for you to lock the gate and matched his pace with yours as you started walking. “I think it’s the other way around. I’d say I am the one stealing your time.” He gestured to you and you understood he was referring to your extremely casual appearance. You refrained from making another vulgar comment about the state you had been in just moments before he rang the doorbell.

“I’m sorry, should I have put some make-up on?” you joked, watching the two dogs walking happily side by side. The neighborhood was enveloped in a comfortable serenity, the only sounds invading the equilibrium were made by your leisure steps and your spoken words. The night air was refreshing.

Mark broke the silence after a while in a soft tone. “You are beautiful as it is.”

Your fingers tightened around Murphy’s leash at his unexpected words. The dog sensed the tension in the cord and whimpered a couple of times. Mark stopped and looked at it. “What’s wrong buddy?”

Murphy let out another whimper and resumed his walk. There was a small buzz in the back of your mind.

“You never got to tell me about your day, Mark.”

“Ah, just the usual.” He responded, deciding not to pursue his previous remark. “We are back in Seoul for two weeks before we depart for our second leg of the tour but it’s not like we’re on a break. Practice was really intense today. I don’t know, I didn’t feel exactly well. Wasn’t like myself.”

It was easy to tell he had something on his mind. “Are you okay?”

Mark glanced at you succinctly and nodded his head. “Oh yeah, I’m fine. It’s like this sometimes. It tends to get overwhelming.”

Even if the nature of your jobs was different, you understood where he came from. Even the smallest of things could carry a certain pressure, no matter how much you loved or hated them. You nudged his side.

“I know it’s completely insignificant,” you began, your eyes falling on him “But I am a good listener.”

“It’s not hard to tell.” Mark smiled at you and halted his steps as Milo began sniffling something. “I’ve always known it’s easier to speak your mind to strangers but you have this about yourself.”

“Oh?” you blinked and folded your arms over your chest playfully. “What is that?”

Mark shrugged and brought a hand up to scratch at his nape. “I don’t know. Something.”

You couldn’t contain the laughter and covered your mouth to mask the sound somehow. It could have been the wine in your system, or it could have been his company that made you giggly. Mark was glad you faced the other way. He couldn’t have justified how his eyes were glued on you.

“Thank you for enlightening me!” You spoke. “This is one more thing to add on the ‘About me’ list.”

“I’ll come back with details.” Mark concluded and tilted his head to the side, motioning for you to follow him and Milo. “I’m curious about one thing though.”

You nodded your head. “Ask me, then.”

“Okay.” Mark chuckled and messed with his cap. “You said you were promoted, right? Why were you drinking alone, then?”

A sad smile tugged at your lips and you followed Murphy with your eyes. You weren’t that much of a liar, anyway, and with the alcohol in your veins it was even harder to mask an answer. Besides, what harm would it do to someone you knew nothing about and vice versa? “I felt like being alone. They’ll probably be all over my ass tomorrow morning.”

Mark caught a glimpse of your expression. Noticing someone’s need for help was a dignified act, yet sometimes pretending not to notice was just as noble. He knew he wasn’t in a position to push you. “I drank a can of beer on my way here so we can assume I destroyed your aesthetic.”

You let out a chuckle and turned to him. The peaceful expression on his face pained you. “Yeah, you did.”

A low buzz alerted Mark to check his phone. It was getting late.

“Ah, I’m sorry, do you have somewhere else to be?”

“What? Oh, no.” Mark waved his hand dismissively and turned to the direction of your house. “We should go back. You look really tired.”

You brought up a hand to your cheek and giggled. “I guess it’s evident, huh? I must have some canyons under my eyes.”

“Not bad, not bad.” Mark joked and you swat his arm playfully. Murphy was still too active for your own good and Mark offered to take his leash which you accepted silently. “That was the group chat. The guys asked about you.”

You perked up at him curiously. “Really? How so?”

Mark laughed shyly. “I told Jackson I would call you and he gave me this all-mighty speech of how I really should take the initiative and blah-blah-blah. Honestly, I lost him halfway through. Anyway, he obviously told the guys and here we are.”

“So they will probably pester you for answers about me, is it?” a sliver of laughter escaped your lungs and you felt a tad excited that he would be talking about you. Although you were stubbornly convinced you made a horrible first impression.

“That’s the way it works around these parts.”

“I’m sorry.”

Surprise engulfed Mark’s features at your sudden apology. “Sorry? What for?”

“Well, it’s nothing one should insist about, is it?”

He furrowed his eyebrows as he turned to you. Mark was clearly confused as of why you would declare such things about yourself. It didn’t take him much to realize there was something gnawing at you forcefully. The little time he spent in your company was otherwise enjoyable and he pondered whether to ask you to hang out again. Among all the other things he pondered over. “This night stroll really eased my mind, Y/n. You should give yourself some credit.”

You bit into the plush of your inner cheek and noticed Murphy turning his head to look at you. He was very receptive to your emotions and as it seemed, so was Mark.

It wasn’t long before you reached the gate of your house which you unlocked easily. Mark followed you inside and knelt down to undo Murphy’s leash, giving him a loving pat right after. “Good boy, Murphy. Make sure you don’t cause Y/n any trouble, okay?”

The little one barked at Mark, a cute answer to his argument. You watched the two of them and felt your heart clenching at how well Murphy was reacting in Mark’s presence. It was even better than how he reacted when your former partner was around. You knew what they said, dogs have a knack for detecting the kindness in people’s souls. It was one thing you wished Murphy wasn’t good at.

“Thank you for tonight. It was lovely.” You said faintly and tilted your head up to him. “Thank you for walking us.”

Mark offered a tender smile and hesitated for a moment. He was tense and you were tense, too. It did not help that you were peculiarly breathtaking with your ruffled hair and casual clothes embracing your body. Mark let go of Milo’s leash and opened his arms for you, the same smile now plastered on his face.

At any given moment, you would have walked away, you would have rejected the obvious invitation and would have gone on with your life. You were worn out, dizzy and melancholic, enough that you wrapped your arms around his middle and grabbed at his hoodie with both hands. His scent burned its way through every infinitesimal space in your lungs, intoxicating you more than that wine could.

Mark circled his arms around your frame almost immediately and held you as tight as you needed. He was aware you sought comfort and it was only fit he gave it to you. He pulled your head into the crook of his neck and ran his hand through your locks, reminiscing the feeling.

He remained quiet as you nested yourself into him until you pulled away and looked up at him with eyes that stole the sparkle of the stars. Mark cupped your cheek with his hand and his attention fell to your slightly parted lips. You grabbed his wrist. “Mark, I—“

“I know.” He cut you off with a smile, his thumb caressing your skin. “It’s just one of those tight hugs that turns into sex. Nothing more.”

Mark sealed off the distance between your lips and the electrifying contact forced you to grab a fistful of the hoodie to steady yourself. Mark wrapped his other arm around your waist and pulled you into him if possible, his lips working fervently against yours. You felt the tip of his tongue gently licking at your bottom lip and you granted him passage. His tongue dancing with yours made you forget whose air you were breathing. Whose air was so rapidly leaving your chest.

You pulled away after a while from the excruciating loss of oxygen. You fluttered your eyes open and Mark’s intense stare proved you weren’t dreaming the moment. He cupped both of your cheeks with his hands, his expression inquiring everything he wished to ask.

“One of those tight hugs that turns into sex,” you agreed, still your heart owned hidden plans “Nothing more.”                                                                                           Next chapter

[ryqoshay]

So I just finished reading all of How to Handle a Nico and I absolutely fucking loved it, do you have any NicoMaki fanfic recommendations of your own?

I must offer my apologies for the delay in response. I did not forget you, Anon, despite answering two questions that came in after this one. However, I wanted to wait until I knew I had a good amount of time I could dedicate to making a proper list of recommendations worthy of my time in the LL/NicoMaki fandom, which is typically sometime during my weekend.

Also, please bear in mind that this list is not all-inclusive. NicoMaki has one of, if not the most extensive list of fanworks out of the various LL ships. If someone reading this list is a fan of, or the author of a given work not included, please do not take it personally, this is merely a sampling of my favorites. There are genres and tags that I tend to avoid for various reasons, and there are many perfectly good works with the NicoMaki ship tag that I haven’t read simply because they are not the primary focus. And due to current events, as well as those of last year, there is a sizable backlog of NicoMaki focused fics that I hope to get around to reading sometime soon.

And as I expect this to get long, I will put the list itself under a cut.

First and foremost, I must shamelessly shill an author whose first forays into NicoMaki fanfic are based on HtHaN. It’s been almost a year since the first one went up and I remain in awe that I was able to pay forward the inspiration given to me by other authors. For this list I will only be including said works based on HtHaN, though VNVdarkangel has written some other NicoMakis I haven’t read yet.  - Always there - Nico wakes up in the middle of the night. Some post-canon fluffy angst.  - On tracks to the heart - Takes place during the scene transition in Homecoming.  - Meet ‘n’ greet - Nico has a meet ‘n’ greet event and Maki shows up  - Part-time idol composer - Nico hires Riko to compose some idol music for Egao. Minor YohaRiko to keep up the casual connections between HtHaN and HL.  - Next steps... - A long, multi-chapter work that takes place after the numbered chapters of HtHaN. This work tells the story of NicoMaki as they take advantage of the research mentioned way back in Telling Mama. Yay science babies!  - Out of focus - Maki can’t focus on anything but Nico  - The door to dreams - Riko finds the piano from How to Celebrate a Maki and Maki finds Riko. More minor YohaRiko from HL.  - Idol trainer - A non-NicoMaki, RinPana honorable mention tied to HtHaN

Next, I must link a few things from jstonedd, whose works I can point to as being among those that helped cement NicoMaki as a my favorite ship.  - Buy Your Love - By the gods, I’ve honestly lost track of how many times I’ve reread this fic. It is also responsible for my headcanon that Tsubasa teaches Honoka how to skate, which I thusly include in Nico on Ice.  - Soldier Wars - If memory serves, this work earns its M rating less for lewd stuff and more for action movie depictions of violence, like an R rated Charlie’s Angels or something.  - After School Troublemakers - Earns its tag of Fluff and Crack.  - Babies Maybe - More Fluff and Crack I only skimmed the first few chapters of Otonokizaka Private Academy and it didn’t seem very NicoMaki focused or really much my cup of tea. But I’ve heard others like it, and it was finally completed a few years back, so there’s that.

One author with whom I’ve interacted moreso than any other - maybe not VNVdarkangel as of late, but... - is the creator of one of my favorite Fantasy AUs, which is often a genre I don’t read much as it so often leans on Harry Potter, of which I’m quite unfamiliar. Of course I say I often avoid Fantasy AUs despite now writing two... Anyway, we have a few differing headcanons and I must say it’s fun to have a civil discussion about them - as opposed to others that become heated and dissolve into ad hominum attacks like the one marked by Comment Deleted tombstones in the comments of HtHaN. Anyway, that train of thought derailed, so here are some of lonelypond’s works. Worth mentioning that most works take place in the U.S. instead of Japan, something that confused me for a few chapters when I first started reading, but have come to enjoy it, especially when places are mentioned that I know.  - Casual Lunacy - The aforementioned Fantasy AU as well as my introduction to this wonderful writer. Pulls in a quirky character from Gekkan Shoujo Nozaki-kun, an adorable anime I’ve been meaning to finish. Maki is a werewolf. And I really need to reread this one at some point.  - PhotoJazz - Maki is a photographer and Nico is an actress.  - AU Yeah August - A collection of short 1 Shots. I haven’t read all of them, e.g. the Harry Potter one, but those I have were adorable, e.g. Summer Camp, Fake Dating and FWB.  - Christmas Confections - A collection of amazing Christmas themed works that rank among my favorite gifts each year since I first started reading them. I’d link them each individually, but they’re all amazing so just read them all; you won’t be disappointed. Maki and Christmas just go together and lonelypond writes them well.  - Can’t Get Started - To quote the summary “Nishikino Maki is trying to make it in the piranha fishbowl of movies, music and Hollywood. Yazawa Nico already has. And they keep crashing into each other.” Literally. It’s quite amusing. I’ve heard good things from other readers about the 1Kiss series but have only skimmed a few; they are high on my To Read list. The Idol House series came out during my troubled 2019, so it also remains on my To Read list. The Moonlight series seems to focus on NozoEli, which is fine, but for better or worse lowers it position on my To Read list. It’s lonelypond, so I do intend to read it eventually, but there are more NicoMaki focused fics that I’d like to get to first.

Next up is Lucia Hunter, a case where I must separate author from work. To this day I remain uncertain as to the details of the issues between this author and the denizens of Sukutomo, but the animosity exists nonetheless. Still, the listed works below were part of my gateway drugs into the wonderful world of NicoMaki fanfics.  - The Diamond Princess’s Melancholy - How NicoMaki came together.  - Love marginal - My favorite portrayal of KotoHonoUmi. NicoMaki is a side pairing here, and remain so through the rest of the works, but they’re still worth reading, imho.  - Shiranai Love*Oshiete Love - RinPana focus but NicoMaki still plays their role.  - Garden of Glass - de de deee de de deee Obviously NozoEli focused.

My first encounter with Rinforzando was a T rated cute and fluffy fic but they’ve done some pretty good NSFW works as well.  - Ten Years - Always enjoy a good adult NicoMaki fic. - Limbo - NSFW FWB NicoMaki - Caprice - NSFW 2nd Person post-canon NicoMaki. I’m not typically a fan of 2nd Person perspective, but this one was worth it.  - Cheers for Loving You - NicoMaki Secret Santa.

Hidekins is another author that has written a lot of NicoMaki I’ve enjoyed, but on a quick scan through the AO3 entries, few are jogging my memory with title and description alone. Perhaps I’ve read more here on tumblr? Perhaps I’ll come back and add more if I remember them better later.  - NicoMakisses - A set of five cute short NicoMaki stories about kisses.

Saberin writes a lot of 3rd year stuff, and that’s fine, but the NicoMaki collection is worth checking out.  - Prickly Love - As of writing this list, there are 10 chapters of cuteness

whoneedsapublisher writes a lot and I enjoy the style. Thus, when I see NicoMaki pop up on the account, I try to read.  - Couples Therapy - One of my favorite Maki headcanons is included here. Not explicit but earns its M rating and thus is NSFW.  - Subtle - Not particularly crazy about the Nico-taller-than-Maki, but that’s a minor complaint compared to the rest of this wonderful work.  - At Least Six Confessions - Presequel to the above work. Poor Nico had her work cut out for her with a romantically dense Maki.  - Keep Your Promises - Ten years later...  - Happy New Year - Sometimes stalemates must be broken by someone.  - Hidden Depth - Nico’s voice changes. And Maki likes it  - Pretending to Pretend - Not explicit, but earns its M rating so NSFW. One of my favorite examples of the Fake Dating trope.  - Merry Christmas Maki - I can’t think of a better present.  - No Lies Allowed - Truth of Dare, NicoMaki style.  - All Dressed Up - Based on a wonderful pic by noelclover  - Santa’s Stand-in - Guess who still believes...  - Switcheroo - Always love the idea of the girls trying to behave like the others. Makes me want to rewatch that episode.  - Tick, Tock - Some introspective Maki  - Insensitive - NicoMaki dating issues  - Tomatoes - Maki’s favorite food I’ve heard good things about Dazzling Warrior Nightshade, so it’s on my To Read List, but I must admit I can be picky about my Magical Girls stuff. Madoka set an... interesting bar for the genre for me and in most cases I’d prefer to watch it as an anime or read it as a manga/doujin. Still, the idea of Nico being a magic girl amuses me greatly, thus why the fic remains on my radar.

And here are some other random works I’ve enjoyed over the years.  - Smile, Nico Nico! - In which Nico drags Maki to the dentist  - Billiards - NSFW 2nd Person. Yes, I know I just said I’m not typically a fan, but this one was also good.  - Piano For Beginners - NSFW AU where Maki is assigned to teach Nico how to play the piano so as to be convincing for a film.  - critical rules for not-dating - NSFW FWB AU that I need to finish reading someday but was happy enough with what I’ve read that I’d still recommend it.  - 24 visits - Visits as in Nico the idol visiting Maki the doctor in the hospital.  - 24 dates - A NSFW followup to 24 visits

So yeah, that’s a fairly decent list to get one started in their AO3 NicoMaki delving. As mentioned above, this is not all-inclusive and there are a ton of NicoMaki works out there. I haven’t visited FFN in years, so there may still be some authors that post there exclusively and have written some amazing stuff, but I cannot recommend what I haven’t read, or at least skimmed. I also have some tumblr works bookmarked... somewhere, so if I find them I might compare them to this list and maybe add those missed.

Here’s hoping something here piques your interest and makes you fall a little more for the wonderful NicoMaki.

[yanjuniverse]

RANKING MY TOP 5 FICS

hello everyone. let me just take a moment to introduce myself. my name is Megan and two years ago, I started this blog originally under the user name @/syzygy-yoongi to post one shots about the boys from IQIYI’s Idol Producer. since that time, i have gain a mass following (2,000+ today) that i am forever grateful for. i have also made many friends that i love dearly and am so blessed to have in my life.

when i began this blog, i didn’t expect so many people to pay attention or to read my stories. if you remember, i was pumping out chapters two or three times a day, finishing series within a week or two because i loved writing that much.

today, i’m going to rank my top five completed series that i have written. feel free to reblog with your own opinions/rankings as well or leave me an ask with your opinions about my stories! (i’m very bored).

Now let’s get this show on the road!

SPOILERS BELOW! vvv

1. Girls Like You (Cai Xukun)

Summary: IP High School is one of the most prestigious boarding schools in China for the fine arts. Owned by the Huang family, the school only accepts the best of the best. Many of China’s biggest stars came from this school and many of their students already have offers upon their graduation.

This year will be Cai Xukun’s fourth year at the school and fourth year witnessing the favoritism of his classmate, Zhu Zhengting (who’s parents are world class dancers) as well as the favoritism from students Fan Chengcheng (little brother of China’s most famous actress) and headmasters’ son, Huang Justin. The three of them are known to run the school. They get away with being late to classes, missing classes completely, missing assignments, talking back and Xukun swears he’s never seen them in full uniform. Safe to say that he kind of despises them and their “holier-than-thou” mindsets.

So when Justin’s sister joins them for her senior year, he could only roll his eyes at the news. While all of Xukun’s friends seem to fall for her, he can’t see the magic of it all.

“Girls like you? Girls like you are the kind that I can’t stand! You think just because you’re rich and pretty that we all have to fall for you? Well news flash, it’s not going to work on me. Now stay out of my way!”

MY OPINION: I really hold this fic near and dear to my heart because of the amount of work I put into the relationship between YN and Justin, YN and Zhengting and YN and Xukun. These were the three main relationships throughout the story that I feel really made readers pick sides. In all honesty, I was very nervous the first half the the story because everyone was on Zhengting’s side. This story was one of my most popular series and I was very pleased with the outcome, though I do have some regrets.

LOVED MOST: The relationship between YN and Justin. Justin’s character was the most difficult character I have ever portrayed. The early stages of developing his character actually spurred from Charlie from the movie The Perks of Being a Wallflower. As for YN’s character, I grew up in a household where my parents were always at work and so I had to raise my younger siblings (obviously not to the extent of YN’s and my parents are kind people). Her motherly tendencies came a lot from the things I had personally done growing up (making meals, putting together backpacks, so on and so forth). I think of all the relationships I’ve ever written, YN’s and Justin’s “Huang or Die” relationship is always going to be my favorite.

BIGGEST REGRET: The ending. Looking back on it now, I honestly think the story should have gone another way. Of course YN runs from Zhengting but I personally think that the ending was way too rushed. It was something I put together in the matter of hours just because I wanted to get the story over with. I think now, I would have let YN have more time to be herself and to be a kid in Korea rather than carrying on being a mother. I also would have liked it if she had ended up with Chengcheng, the only boy in this entire story besides Zhengting, who had been there from start to finish . I would have also liked to have seen the more interaction with her and Yanjun and Ziyi, considering they, along with Bingbing were the main hands that took part in her escape.

2. SUBSCRIBE! (Xiao Gui)

Summary: Wang Linkai just posted videos of himself playing videos for fun. He never in a million years expected to build the type of following he did.

or

Zhu YN started off just posting little home videos for her and her friends. She never in a million years expected to build the type of following she did.

or

The one where you and Xiao Gui have no idea who the other is until one day, your brother sends you the link to a video called “REACTING TO TEXTS FROM AN ANGEL I MET TODAY!”

MY OPINION: Though Xiao Gui continues to be my bias up until today, the fic that I wrote for him is second place. I had a lot of fun writing it but with a more regrets than I did with Girls Like You. (Also let’s all remember when I wrote that he was a matcha frappe guy and then days later, he was papped with that exact drink).

LOVED MOST: Xiao Gui’s character development is something I’m always going to take pride in. I think out of all of my stories, his character was one of the most carefully planned. There were little details (such as when Gui goes from stealing Ziyi’s car keys to asking for them in the end) that really showed how much he grew. I’m also glad he didn’t just give up his dream for love and how he wanted YN to be free while he was away. I feel like had he been the same person from the beginning, he either would’ve given up his music career or made YN wait for him. I really loved to see how much he grew during this story.

BIGGEST REGRET: How YN knew Xiao Gui’s mother 🤦🏻‍♀️. That was such a plot twist ending that didn’t even make sense. I wish I had found a different way for YN to have gotten Gui to be with his mother other than “oh she sells me fruit”.

3. Smile for the Camera (Zhu Zhengting)

Summary: Nine Percent Photography is a small company with big names. Owned by Y/N, it features the faces of Cai Xukun, Chen Linong, Fan Chengcheng, Huang Justin, Lin Yanjun, Wang Ziyi and You Zhangjing.

Nine Percent Photography is best known for their creativity and ability to push their models into various aesthetics. They are one of the richest companies in Asia with every model raking in an estimated 2.3 million dollars every month. It is every model’s dream to be apart of this world class company.

Zhu Zhengting is an aspiring model. Up until this point, he has only scored small gigs. That is, until one phone call changed his entire life.

Zhengting finally has the chance to follow his dreams. He’s not going to let anything get in his way. Right?

MY OPINION: This story was the first story of mine that really blew up. It’s my pride and joy and where my following really started to build.

LOVED MOST: I loved the harmony between the company. It was like they were all destined to be together. I also liked how they were so honest with each other towards the end. I loved how they all had to fall apart to come back together. I also really appreciated Yanjun’s friendship with YN and how much YN loved her company.

BIGGEST REGRET: I should have made the the story longer so that YN and Zhengting could have had more time to fall in love with each other. I reread it a couple of weeks ago and honestly, the way the fell was so awkward and rushed. Had I gone back to write it, I would have focused more on their love story. I also wished I would have gone and written more about their modeling and/or their work since they were a modeling company. I also wished I had gone deeper into YN and Zeren’s backstory.

4. Oblivious (Wang Ziyi)

Wang Ziyi has never been the type to confront his feelings head on. He’s always swallowed the butterflies, tied his shoe laces and held on to the safety handle to make sure he never let him fall for anyone. He likes to say it’s because he doesn’t want to get his heart broken but his friends say that maybe he’s just saving those feelings for you.

or

the one where people aren’t sure whether you two really hate each other or really like each other.

MY OPINION: This was one of my more humorous stories. I’m usually an angst writer so getting to write Ziyi and YN in such a playful manner was like a breath of fresh air. This is also the story that came after I took my first hiatus (which was supposed to be like a week but ended up being like a day lol). I remember the stress of wanting to write something angsty for Ziyi and not having the storyline so instead, I decided to write a funnier story for him. Though, not as popular as Girls Like You, Subscribe! or Smile for the Camera, it still ranks high for me.

LOVED MOST: I LOVED HOW FUNNY ZIYI AND YN’S CHARACTERS WERE — actually all of them! One of my favorite parts of the story is always going to be the line where Linong says he has “bible study in an hour” and Yanjun replies “PLEASE STOP CALLING YOUR THEOLOGY (the study of the nature of God and religious beliefs) CLASS BIBLE STUDY!” All of the characters played a big part in the story unlike in the others where characters like Zhangjing and Linong are more of the background extras.

BIGGEST REGRET: THE WHOLE ENDING! I remember a lot of people were upset with YN and her plans and I agree because what she did was a bit uncalled for. But I remember just wanting it to end so I let it end the way it did. Had I gone back and rewritten it, I probably would have let Xingjie and YN play out for a bit before the two realized they were better off as friends. Sort of along the lines of Lara Jean and John Ambrose.

5. Trust Me - Lin Yanjun

Summary: Summary: Ever since you were a freshman in high school, Wang Ziyi has always felt the need to protect you. Now you’re a freshman in college and nothing has changed. When he hears that the labeled player, Lin Yanjun, is trying to make his way into your life, Ziyi finds it harder to keep his secret under wraps - especially when you make friends with You Zhangjing, Lin Yanjun’s best friend.

MY OPINION: Ah yes. I feel like this is a forgotten story of mine. It was one of my first ever series. I think I was still @/syzygy-yoongi at the time that I wrote this. I still get nostalgic when I see people finding it now. This is actually the story that got me into writing series (I had never written one before Trust Me) when a follower suggested the idea to me.

LOVED MOST: I really loved the plot twist at the end. I think of all of my stories, this was the only one that I really planned out and stuck to it. I didn’t overthink Trust Me because at the time, I did get have many followers and I didn’t have anyone to disappoint.

BIGGEST REGRET: I think the reason why I ranked Trust Me so lowly is because of the lack of quality it had. It was the earliest development of what yanjuniverse is today. This is the story that made me realize that I really had a knack for angst. I have the fondest memories of Trust Me and I’m so happy I wrote it.

Conclusion: This was my top five rankings for my completed series. Of course it doesn’t go into my incompleted series (I Bet would’ve knocked Trust Me right off of this list). This was a complete waste of time but just something I wanted to do because I had just spent the past couple of weeks rereading my fics. Hope you all enjoyed and if you made it this far, thank you so much. I’m so grateful for this blog. It really made me who I am today. I’m so grateful for the memories and how much I grew from these stories!

[yoongi-sugaglider]

Forget Me Nots

A wealthy young man falls overboard while vacationing with friends only to find himself with amnesia and a pretty young wife who seems determined to remind him what hard work and dedication really mean.

Warnings: Strong language, angry Min Yoongi inaccurately portrayed based upon the writer’s imagination,angst, eventual super fluff.

Pairing: Eventual Min Yoongi x reader

Word count: 2304

A/n: Wow, it’s been forever and almost quite literally a year since I revisited this. Apologies for taking so long to update it. I ran out of inspiration and then put it on hiatus just because I wasn’t sure what direction I wanted to take the story. It’s pretty obvious by the tone of this chapter that fluff is the way. And I knew it was meant to be because as I was typing the last sentence So Far Away came up on random on my itunes lol. I will warn there’s mention of Yoongi in a towel down there at the bottom somewhere so prepare to be semi blinded lol. Other than that, no she’s not off hiatus (the story) But there is more content made available in the form of this chapter! Lemmie know what ya’ll think yeah? Any feedback is always appreciated~

<<Chapter 7---Chapter 9>>

As the evening wore on y/n offered to cook dinner while allowing Yoongi to take a shower, citing that he might want to wash off the antiseptic funk of the hospital.

“If not for your sake then at least for Champ’s.”

He’d chuckled, eyes gazing at the two goofy dogs in adoration before he finally agreed that the hot embrace of a shower sounded good to him.

She hummed as she worked,cutting up various ingredients as she went about making up a quick stew. A thought gave her pause though and filled her with a moment of panic as her eyes darted to the dark recess of the hallway leading to her bedroom and the showering man beyond.

“Shit...what if he has food allergies or something…” The moment of panic had her scrambling for the purse that lay forgotten where she’d discarded it in search of her phone. Memory served her well enough in that he was an idol and therefore surely his food allergies had to be somewhere online. Things like that spread far and wide in the social media frenzy that was idol worship in modern society.

Thankfully her search eased her anxiety as it turned out that he seemed adventurous when it came to trying new food so long as it had plenty of meat. She smiled to herself, glad that she’d decided on a stew. 

There were plenty enough sites that had different facts about him that would come to be useful later on so she bookmarked a few before returning to the kitchen to finish up the meal.

“Angel? You wouldn’t happen to know where my deodorant is?” His deep rumble of a voice sounded from behind her and she thought for a moment as she scraped a cutting board full of chopped carrots into the large pot simmering on the stove.

“Um...I don’t remember. Hang on and I’ll come help you find it.” She finished adding the last of the carrots before turning to his voice.

The cutting board dropped to the floor and she let out a tiny shriek of embarrassment at the sight before her. He stood, leaning against the fridge with his arms folded over his bare chest, large white towel wrapped snug around his waist and nothing else on.

His sugar pale skin seemed to glow under the lights of the kitchen, and the little she’d seen of it before she turned away to hide the glaring flush of her cheeks was enough to burn the image forever in her mind. He wasn’t overly muscular by any means. But he seemed to be lean and well built,barely any body fat to be seen as if he spent a large amount of time dancing or something along those lines.

Well toned arms reached for her, slowly turning her to face him as he voiced his concern.

“What’s the matter? Is something wrong?”

“Ah...n...no nothing’s wrong.” She gulped, steeling herself and mentally bracing as she slowly looked up to meet his worried gaze. “I just, wasn’t expecting you there is all. I thought you had gone back to the bedroom.”

He tilted his head, pink tongue darting out to wet pale lips as he contemplated her still flushed face.

“Hmm...sorry I scared you.” He dropped his hands, brow still furrowed as he watched her hurriedly step out of his grasp and head towards the bedroom.

“S...sorry. I’ll go find your deodorant.” She squeaked over her shoulder as she disappeared into the bedroom.

***

Dinner was spent in relative silence. Him complimenting her on her cooking to which she replied with an appreciative squeak and her avoiding his questioning gaze as much as she could without it seeming rude.

He wondered at it as he stood at the sink, having offered to wash dishes though she’d fought him on it up until he’d insisted after a yawn tripped her up mid sentence. She’d finally relented with another yawn tearing through her and said she was going for a shower herself before retiring to bed.

After putting away the last dish he’d taken a moment to let the dogs out into the spacious backyard. They’d raced around for a while, taking care of their business before spending a bit sniffing at as many nooks and crannies as they could find in the dim light cast on the darkness from the open back door.

By the time he’d made it back inside she was already curled up and asleep in bed, hands tucked into the crease beneath her thighs similar to the way he himself slept. He’d smiled to himself, offering her sleeping form a gentle kiss to her cheek to which she sighed.

Sleep didn’t seem forthcoming and so he decided to spend some time in the living room, comfortably sprawled on the sofa with Kaia tucked between his legs and a pouting Champ sleeping on the floor beside him as there’d been no more room for him.

It felt at once comfortable and yet unfamiliar and a wave of sadness washed over him. Memories begging to flood to the surface and yet still hidden away from him causing him to groan in frustration at their elusiveness.

What was it that had caused his wife to act so strangely towards him? She’d seemed flustered and shocked when he’d come from the shower in just a towel. Surely she’d seen him at least naked before if not at least partially so. They were married after all right?

And then it came to him. She’d mentioned before that the night he’d been injured they’d been fighting. Was it possible that they’d been having a rough go of it? Was it possible that he’d been pushing her away before everything went down and that they could have been on the verge of divorce?

Though he couldn’t remember much he knew that he wasn’t exactly an easy person to get along with. It was just a feeling he had, that he wasn’t the easiest to approach, or like right off the bat for that matter.

Was it possible that she’d been acting that way because they had become estranged in their marriage?

It didn’t sit well with him. Much less so because she seemed to be such a sweet and loving person. The dogs alone attested to that, not to mention the way she’d been caring for him the past few days.

He spent some time staring at the ceiling, eyes unfocused as he thought over what he could do to fix this. To fix their marriage, to fix whatever he could have possibly done to cause her to be so uncomfortable around him.

“It sticks a little.” He remembered the issue he’d had with opening her car door, as well as the front steps and the other issues she’d mentioned about how the roof leaked and how the front step was dangerous to walk on.

“This won’t do.” He muttered to himself as he sat up, disturbing a sleeping pair of pups in the process. After a few whispered words to settle them back down he got up, determination filling him as he began to look for the tools he would need to fix his home, and maybe even fix his marriage.

***

The next morning dawned bright and filled with life. Dew glistened on the window panes, sunlight reflecting off the tiny water droplets in a sparkling dance that shimmered with iridescent prisms off the walls and greeted her with a warm and welcoming feeling.

Her arms stretched high over her head and she let out a groan of appreciation at the pleasant stretch of muscles and sinew. The smell of fried eggs and warm toast filled the room, causing her stomach to grumble and complain that she hadn’t gotten up yet to investigate.

A moment of confusion filled her, trying to place who could have cooked for her. Rose and Dev hadn’t slept over so...who?

“Angel? You awake?”

A sleepy eyed Yoongi peeked around the partially open door, shy smile tugging at the corners of his lips as his eyes met hers.

Ah, right. Her “husband”. 

Her heart fluttered at the sleep tussled state of his hair, spatula still in hand as he motioned for her to follow him.

She shuffled from bed, smoothing the overly large t-shirt she’d gone to bed with over her curves as she shuffled down the hall and around the corner of the kitchen.

The kitchen was filled with the smell of breakfast. Yoongi stood at the stove, spatula in hand with one of her frilly pink aprons tied around his small waist as he patiently awaited the browning of what looked to be chocolate chip pancakes.

“Well..good morning?” She moved into the kitchen, taking mental note of the sudden shade of pink gracing the tips of Yoongi’s ears.

“I...ah th...thought you might like some breakfast? There’s coffee made if…”

“Oh gawd yes!” Y/n groaned. Moving forward like a zombie looking for its next meal she made grabby hands at the steaming mug Yoongi’d pointed to with his free hand. Leaning against the counter she sighed, eyes closed as she inhaled the scent of roasted bean water filling her nostrils.

Yoongi watched her out of the corner of his eyes as he flipped a pancake. A soft almost fond smile threatened to creep over his features as he hummed along with her.

“I don’t remember but...you seemed like a cream and three sugars kinda girl...I hope it’s…”

“It’s perfect Yoongi, thank you.” The smile that lit up her whole body as she gave her thanks was doing all sorts of strange things to him. For one his palms had suddenly grown incredibly sweaty, making holding the spatula that much harder as he slipped the now cooked pancake onto the ever growing stack on the plate beside the stove.

For another it seemed his heart wouldn’t stop racing, not that he wanted it to stop at all. It was just… the racing of his heart seemed to have caused a migration’s worth of butterflies to awaken in the pit of his stomach.

Despite his doubts from the previous night he was sure his heart was trying to tell him something. The domestic feeling that spread through him as he turned off the stove and fondly watched his wife walk over to the dining room table and curiously lift the lids off of several of the dishes he’d prepared for her felt so foreign. Maybe his fears had been right and their marriage had been strained. He shook his head, attempting to dispel the thoughts and the looming headache that came along with them.

“You made all this?” She asked, eyes sparkling like diamonds as he brought the plate of pancakes over and sat them on the table before sitting down himself.

“I couldn’t sleep last night so I worked on a couple things. By the time I was finished the sun was coming up so I figured I’d make you breakfast to surprise you.” He shot her a bashful smile, scratching at the hair on the back of his head before nodding at the food in front of them.

“Worked on some things?” She tilted her head, confusion lacing her words as she pulled the bowl of eggs towards her. Yoongi had covered everything with bowls to keep it all hot and fresh for her and he smiled, proud to know that the ploy had worked.

“You mentioned that the passenger side door stuck on your car so I thought I’d take a look at it. Turns out the latch had a bit of rust on it so I took care of that.” He looked up from the piece of bacon he’d been placing on his plate to see her staring at him wide eyed.

“Oh...but Yoongi the doctor said…”

“That I needed to take it easy, yeah. I managed that and getting the step on the front stairs fixed up before the dizziness set in. I took a break after that before making breakfast I promise.”

She shook her head, frown tugging her lips down as she sat back in her chair. “OH...Yoongi you didn’t have to do all that.”

Anything he’d have said was interrupted by a large shepherd snout wedging its way into his lap, chocolate brown eyes staring up at him from beneath the table. “Well hi there handsome.” Yoongi chuckled. Slender fingers threaded through the fur on top of the goofily grinning animal’s head.

“I don’t know buddy, I’m not sure Momma would appreciate you sneaking my bacon from me.”

He glanced up at y/n through his eyelashes, smirk barely restrained as he watched the subtle dusting of a blush raise to her cheeks.

“Mo..he...I…” She cleared her throat, clearly trying to force her flustered state down. “It’s fine just...don’t let Kaia have any...she’s on a diet right now…”

“Hmm…” Yoongi shook his head, a deep rumbling chuckle rising from his chest as he slipped the begging dog a morsel. “Poor girl’s being deprived of my excellent cooking. Really a shame isn’t it Miss Kaia?”

The lab in question gave him a loving flop of her tail from the pillow he’d placed for her in the warmth of the early morning sun. He winked at her conspiratorially, having shared a few bits of cooked unseasoned egg with her earlier.

A joined sigh escaped the two as they continued with their meal, unbeknownst to either of them as they enjoyed the quiet and peace of the morning. Neither realized that they were both sharing the same thought, that they could get used to living like this if it meant enjoying the shared company of the person sitting across from them.

[quintessence-sentimentalist]

quintessence-sentimentalist Takes on 30 Days of W.i.t.c.h.versary!: Week One

So I’ve been way too swamped as of late to keep up with this challenge day-by-day, even with only written answers (because guys, I write long answers, even when I cut myself short). As a solution (at least to start), I’m going to lump my answers for days falling within the same week together. Here’s Days 1 through 7!

Day 1: Favorite Guardian

Well, glancing up at my username and icon, I think it’d be remiss not to say Will Vandom, at least in some respect.

Will was my favorite from the beginning, back when I only had the chapter books with comic inserts. I can’t quite put my finger on why I gravitated to her, though I get the feeling that my love of energy/electricity-based powers had something to do with it. Plus, she got the cool transformation trinket! I’m sure there are many, many more reasons why she became my favorite, but this was also a good 15 years ago and even my obscure-detail-focused memory is having a hard time tracing back.

I’m not as passionate about comics Will as an adult, just in terms of how they loaded the poor girl up with so much drama that it’s just overwhelmingly exhausting, and she has some pretty immature reactions to her problems with her mom and Matt (pre-relationship). But animated Will is still my girl, with her awkwardness and quipping (of a different sort than Irma’s) and the way she grows as a leader, to the point where she’s basically set up a long con on even the viewers as a battle strategy in the latter quarter of season 2. This was the Will I grew to love as an adult rewatching the series after many years.

Since I’ve always been a Will Girl in some form, this has to be my official answer, but very honorable mentions to Irma and Hay Lin across both media. 

Day 2: Favorite Villain

Alright, if we’re talking the animated series and you aren’t new around these parts, we all know it’s Shagon. Listen, this arc is 90% of the reason why I love the cartoon as much as I do, because they took a character from the comics with a nebulous backstory and a spooky, badass design who was relatively underused even with being Nerissa’s strongest/preferred minion, and decided to pull out all the stops. They gave a recurring character (who, okay, I already loved) with very strong ties to the girls - and who’d already evolved out of his role in the comics at the time - his own challenge/story arc about literally facing his inner demon; they gave the Guardians a deadly enemy to face off against (distract them) while Nerissa is off plucking up ex-Guardians one by one; they gave Will and Matt some brutal emotional turmoil that’s actually new and refreshing for the two of them (let’s send the repeated comics jealousy plotlines back to the kitchen, yeah?). And, uh, they made an already spooky, badass character design EVEN SPOOKIER AND MORE BADASS. 

(The darker colors all around? The brilliant gold mask? The dark angel wings? I have been in love with this design since I was 12, alright?)

But! If we’re talking comics, then I’m going with Yua. I’ve talked about this at length before in a different ask game, but I think I gravitate to Yua because a) I’m largely not about full-on villains in any media and b) she’s a beautifully complex character in the context of the third arc’s narrative. 

I’m not going to reiterate everything I said before and just redirect to that post, but I just find it fascinating that the banshee - whose species we’re repeatedly told are eeeeeevil by nature - shows more humanity than the actual human antagonists in this arc. She never wanted harm to come to Maqi, taking him away the second she’s freed as both revenge on her oppressor and a means of keeping this little boy safe from his father’s single-minded crusade. Yua even directly expresses this sentiment when Maqi falls, horror-struck and swearing that it was always about hurting Ari and never Maqi. And even when Maqi is... eurgh, “healed” (yeah, there are a lot of problems with the resolution to this arc), Yua has the opportunity to strike Ari at his happiest and complete her vengeance, but seeing Maqi so delighted makes her retreat, at least for now. 

So yeah. More humanity than Ari and his blind rage in his quest to “cure” his son, and more humanity than Riddle & Co. in abducting an innocent teenage girl on the mere suspicion that she has powers with the intention of putting her through human experimentation. Yua takes Best Villain in my heart because she’s not a villain, not really.

Day 3: Favorite Love Interest

Again, unless you’re new here, it’s no shock that - if we’re talking animated series - it’s Matthew “I’m Arguing With a Housepet” Olsen. 

As wildly different as it is from the comics, I do so adore his character design, with his dark hair (which, uh, may have been the first indication that I have a Type when it comes to my favorite male characters) and purple hoodie. His personality is so endearing too, because he’s not just the idolized older boy we initially see him as in the comics, but like... a legitimate dork. He’s sweet and plays guitar and generally exudes Cool, but you get to know him and it’s easy to see that he and Will are like souls. Not the best about expressing their feelings to the person they like, but always ready to step up and fight.

That’s another quality I love about cartoon Matt. Even before the Shagon arc, very shortly after even learning of the Guardian secret, Matt wants in on the action. It’s not in a “living out his action hero dreams” way, or even really a matter of impressing/protecting Will: it’s more about not being the guy who sits safe on the sidelines while everyone else is risking their lives, and trying to prove (largely to himself, in the end) that he’s worthy to be Will’s boyfriend when she’s a honest-to-Kandrakar warrior and he’s just “Funny Matt.”

I’m going to skip the Shagon arc for now because I assure you I could probably talk for ages about cartoon Matt, and we don’t have that kind of time now.

As for comics, I definitely have to go with Eric Lyndon and - technically a pseudo-love interest - Joel Wright. Oh, and Peter Cook!! Basically, all the sweet guys who don’t get quite as much attention with the comics and whose romantic relationships developed a bit later.

Day 4: Favorite Ship

Surprise, surprise: it’s animated Will/Matt. I’ve blubbered about them before, I will blubber about them again (please give me reasons to do so?), so I’m going to spare you all this time around. Just know that they’re my longest-held major OTP, and that it normally takes a hell of a lot to get me to full-on ship something.

(Real quick though: mutually pining dorks? Matt’s insecurity about being enough for his badass electricity-flinging girlfriend? Will’s drive to just blast shit down to find and save Matt? “If this all goes south, I’m gonna be beside you”??? Please ignore my choked sobbing.)

Anyhoo, there are a couple different comics ships I’d say qualify, though I might not be as passionate about them as I am cartoon WxM. Hay Lin and Eric are positively adorable, and I love how their relationship was slow but not agonizingly so. Hay was the only one not to get a love interest of sorts from the very start, taking us all the way to issue 18 before a guy makes her giggly. And I really appreciate that it wasn’t just a superficial crush, that while Eric was cute, it was his kindness and the time he spent with Hay that made her go, You know, I think I like this guy. It was a refreshing change of pace, they’re both adorable, and we ignore the fact that Eric was mysteriously written out and Hay has that one issue in the Dark Times late in the series where she falls head-over-heels for this rockstar-ish guy for no real reason and changes her style to try to impress him. 

Honorable mentions go to Irma and Joel, who had excellent potential and should have still been kept as friends even if they decided to give Irma a different SO (we ignore the later issue where Joel just wistfully looks at Irma with his “We used to be friends” thought bubble and no actual explanation for why they aren’t anymore); and Cornelia and Peter, who I don’t give enough credit and definitely need to reread.

Day 5: Favorite Friendship

This is a tough one - can I say all of the W.i.t.c.h. girls together? Because outside of the first arc, there isn’t really a whole lot of focus on the smaller group friendships. 

Cornelia and Elyon is a good one, though, literally spanning worlds because Cornelia is dead-set on saving her friend. I’ll toss Orube and Will into the mix as well, because Will was crucial to Orube’s initial character development and they seemed to have the closest relationship moving forward.

Day 6: Favorite Cover/Pinup/Promotional Art

Oof, giving me the hard questions, are we? I have a few favorites, but one of the first that came to mind was this one of Will. It’s the cover of the 21st chapter book, which I think is actually the pinup for issue 21. They must have changed it up for the US release in order to keep it more in-line with the actual plot.

Day 7: Favorite Episode/Issue

Hrm. Let’s change it up and start with the comics on this one. Off the top of my head, I have a soft spot for issue 32. It’s the zenith of the Sylla sub-arc, so the stakes are high, the girls get cute semi-formal clothes when they go to the opera to spring and hopefully evade Riddle’s trap, Sylla double-crosses Riddle and teams up with Medina and McTiennan (and I still think there’s a missed opportunity here with wiping that particular team’s memories of the girls), and we get the most iconic page in this entire comic with Orube beating up Riddle’s goon while brushing off a suitor and then coyly asking him to be her arm candy. 

Issue 50 is another one I like, though largely because I enjoy the futures presented for each of the girls (I particularly love the concept of park ranger Cornelia and writer Will). And as a lingering vestige of my young, comic-Will/Matt-shipping heart, issue 40 is another nostalgic choice.

As for the animated series, I routinely consider my favorites on the chance that Greg Weisman still sells scripts at cons and I get the chance to buy that of a favorite episode. But true to form, basically all of my favorites are heavy Will/Matt episodes...

“D is for Dangerous” is fun because it’s the first time Will gains her quintessence lightning (yay!), the running gag with the Sisterhood of the Traveling Mr. Huggles is amusing, Elyon’s deadpan “Barehanded folding. My one talent” still kills me, and Matt and Caleb’s epic failures of training montages are great. “M is for Mercy” is brutal, with Shagon at his absolute deadliest and taunting Will with Matt’s disappearance, the utter hatred Will has for this demon who’s taken on the form of the boy she loves (and, unbeknownst to her, is legitimately a twisted reflection of Matt), and the sight of Shagon at his lowest while at Will’s mercy and her offer to teach him just that. “S is for Self” has not one but two musical numbers for Matt, and we finally get the resolution to the Shagon arc, so of course it’s a favorite.

But what the hell: I’m going with “T is for Trauma” as my favorite. I watched this episode three times the day it aired, and I still love it to this day. We get the introduction of rejuvenated C.h.y.k.n. (who wipe the floor with the W.i.t.c.h. girls at first), the Egyptian-themed costumes for no actual reason (“Could someone tell me how that man could look at me and think camel???”), Matt getting to fight as the badass normal for the first and last time since “L is for Loser,” etc. But most of all, this is Hay Lin’s episode, and it is absolutely soul-destroying but with a magnificent payoff at the end. It hurts to see the naturally lighthearted, high hopes member of the crew with her spirit absolutely shattered by her grandmother’s apparent betrayal, Eric’s brainwashing, and Nerissa’s general existence, and it’s just as painful that this was the way they gave her character development, but I have to commend this episode for one of the heaviest lines ever: “That’s how you survive the trauma - not by knowing it will be alright, but by having no other choice. ...I don’t have the luxury of breaking down right now.”

[konekoryuugamine]

MLP Late Season 9 Speculation

This season is really doing everything and pulling out all the stops to make sure the show is tied in a neat little bow.

The Tree of Harmony is now the Treehouse of Harmony, villains have returned to obtain vengeance, Celestia and Luna are ceding their throne to Twilight and her friends, and characters are evolving beyond their original purposes.

And if these promos are anything to go from, we are in for a long and emotional ride for the next few episodes.

I figured going from episode speculation and predictions would be the best, so first up is the new episode for this week.

“The Summer Sun Setback” - The Mane Six try to make Celestia and Luna's final Summer Sun Celebration extraordinary.

- Obviously, another step towards the Royal Sisters in retiring, and another chance for Twilight and her friends to really show their stuff as future rulers. And another chance for Twilight to freak out like she did before.

- I’m hoping to see some growth from Twilight here in terms of her mental state. She’s learned to calm herself in the past, i.e. “Games Ponies Play”, but she still lets her anxiety and perfectionism get the best of her. She’s under the impression she needs to be Atlas, and carry the weight of the kingdom and ruling it on HER shoulders alone. Almost like she’s becoming the perceived idol image she’s held of Celestia all these years.

- It’s not just her inheriting the kingdom. She and her friends are going to rule together. And as she learned - or needed to learn - in “Between Darkness and Dawn”, delegating duties is a necessary tool for a ruler. No one person can do anything ALONE. They can’t just shoulder every little responsibility themselves. They need to learn to ask for help and seek it accordingly. 

- On another side note, I hope we see more of the “League of Villains” here. Now that Cozy Glow, Chrysalis, and Lord Tirek have Grogar’s bell, I want to see if there’s something more they can do with it. Control it, use it’s powers, develop their bond and possibly become friends and use it against him - you know.

- Watch me call that.

“She Talks to Angel” -  Fluttershy seeks help from Zecora to understand her pet bunny, Angel.

- An Angel episode? Now this may be interesting. Angel’s personality is one that is far from appealing. He’s often seen causing more problems for Fluttershy than solving them, and he has a bit of a sadistic streak.

- And a love for Starlight, but that’s something that may not be picked up on ever again.

- I hope we get more insight into Angel and his relationship with Fluttershy. I want to know how exactly these two met, and what their dynamic really rests on.

- And I want to see more of the animal sanctuary. The last we saw of it was a season ago when it was created, and then a few mentions here and there for the students at the Friendship School. And as Pinkie Pie mentioned, Fluttershy helps run the sanctuary, so her newfound responsibilities may be more than she bargained for with all these animals running around. 

- Angel may be jealous, he may want to help, it may be a monster attack - either way, I’m in.

“Dragon Dropped” -  Rarity worries she’s done something to upset Spike when he stops making time for her.

-  . . . this is gonna read like a break-up episode, isn’t it? 

- I’m not one for Spike/Rarity shipping, so this is something I was hoping the show would NOT tackle. I’m a fan of Rarity acknowledging Spike as a friend and treating him with respect, but I’m not fond of her using him and thinking she could possibly be manipulating him with his crush to do things for her.

- I know it’s Rarity. I know it’s Spike. I know the implications here. I’m gonna tread lightly and pray that the writing here will be done with care. 

- As an addendum to this, I’m okay with a show like MLP tackling romantic relationships. I’m not fond of it using Rarity as the jealous girlfriend archetype because Spike gets over his crush and the fandom twists this into some newfound “confirmation of their ships”. That may sound mean, but I don’t sugar coat things.

“A Horse-Shoe In” -  Starlight Glimmer attempts to find a Vice Headmare for the School of Friendship.

- I was hoping for more Starlight Glimmer this season. And this is a valid point to make. With Twilight and her friends ascending to the throne, the School of Friendship will need to be maintained with something other than them. And Starlight can’t run a place like that by herself.

- See my point above. 

- I just know more Trixie in this episode will happen, and possibly some Discord. He wanted in on the school as a sub before, so now this may be his chance to introduce a whole new world of chaos magic to Equestria.

- Or, it’s Starlight being the new Twilight. And I use that saying very sparingly.

“Daring Doubt” -  Fluttershy goes on a quest to find a mysterious writer that publishes his own renditions of Daring Do's adventures.

- So, someone else writes Daring Do’s stories another way? This is something I’m actually in for! And I’m surprised it’s FLUTTERSHY tackling this rather than RAINBOW DASH. 

- Sometimes Kindness is needed more than brashness. 

- I just hope this isn’t something in MLP that’s tied up neatly. Daring Do’s adventures are meant to be an Indiana Jones style adventure that continues, no matter the age or the environment. That’s a type of thing you can’t really conclude. Unless there was some sort of way to tie it up nicely. But eh, I can hold my tongue.

“Growing Up Is Hard To Do” -  The Cutie Mark Crusaders discover that growing up is a lot harder than they thought.

- AND now I jump off the ship of speculation into the sea of questions. 

- How do the CMC look when they’re older? Will they keep their VAs? How is this possible? Can there be more to their talents? How will this effect them when they turn back to normal? 

- And on that matter, when they DO grow up, how will this effect the organization and their decisions on helping fillies? 

- I think this is gonna be an existential episode. So, I’ll keep the tissues and the notepad at the ready.

“The Big Mac Question” 

- THis one has no summary, but MAN do I know what THIS may be about. And talk about loose threads being TIED, eh?!

- Another pony marriage? Are they going to leave Big Mac and Sugar Belle as a romantic couple and let her want to focus on work? Will others come in and try to ruin things?

- Are we gonna get more canonical ships?

- Thus maybe more of a wham episode than most will expect!

[smoochews]

what are your favorite writers and your top favorite works from them?? like a top ten

I saw this ask in the middle of work and I wanted to scream aksldfjalks I’m gonna tell you rn that I got really overwhelmed with the amount of authors that have earned a spot in my top favs that I actually cut this to just the authors that I have most recently visited (this counts as returning multiple times to reread a certain fic… which happens… a lot)

@arckook Ria is one of the first authors I ever read from for k-pop fanfiction. Until Ria, I was just highkey on that Haikyuu volleyball gays/imagines and I’d like to believe that she was one of the main reasons why I began to invest myself heavily into the kpop fandom. I’m always amazed with each piece she releases. Her style is so unique and hypnotizing. There’s a big section in my heart reserved just for Ria that I don’t have enough words to convey. plz support. plz love. she’s the best

- To The Stars (Jungkook, BTS): Zombie Apocalypse AU, Enemies to Lovers AU, series, violence, angst, drama

This read is not for the light hearted. You have been warned. You will sob hysterically. You will feel rage seep into your bones. You will punch a hole in your screen. MC is an entire badass, but so broken and vulnerable; somehow she manages to keep herself together and carry on. Even when she hates Jungkook with every cell in her body, she makes sure to keep him alive, watch his six, just as he does for her. There’s only a handful of works that have kept me as heavily invested and on my toes every step of the way. And that list begins with To The Stars

 @brokeandjetlagged I cannot tell you how many times I’ve made a fool out of myself in public while reading Bailey’s work…. like lord help me I can’t stay in my chair…

- We Take A Shot (Baekhyun, EXO): Office AU, boss!Baekhyun, one-shot, fluff

Even after re-reading it 2-3 times, I cannot help the obnoxious laughter escaping my mouth….sounding something along the lines of a screeching seagull. Dorky Baekhyun trying to be Mr. Businessman really killed me. LIKE PLZ THE HOVER BOARD asdfjsj I’m laughing just thinking about it

- Hurt Me, Heal Me (Yixing, EXO): Hospital AU, nurse!Yixing, one-shot, fluff

Honestly, I would pay to be Baekhyun in that moment. Someone kick me in the face if that meant I could spend some time with nurse Yixing. He’s so adorable and I highly relate to MC being a mess when he thinks that she’s Baek’s girlfriend. Overall, this fic makes my heart go kyuu~

- Bromance .2 (Minseok, EXO) : College AU, frat!Minseok, enemies to lovers AU, series (ish), fluff, smut, drama

enemies to lovers…. honestly I’m not entirely sure of what to say other than that you should read it

@sehun-smut ngl. one of the reasons, besides me passing out, that this rec list took so long to make is bc I stopped to re-read both of these fics…. no ragrats… I don’t think you’ll understand until you read all of their work… so like… you know what to do…

- Business in the Front (Baekhyun,EXO): Restaurant AU (ish), one-shot, smut

Older Baekhyun is a kink okay. I’ve never wanted to call someone daddy more in my life than while reading this fic… and like to begin with it’s hard for me to imagine Baek being zaddy, so that should say A LOT.

- Deceitful (Chanyeol, EXO) - Mafia AU, series, smut, violence

I think this is the first honeytrapper fic I’ve ever read in my life. I mean I was aware of the job description but not the actual title. I must say I’m thoroughly aroused and equally terrified.

 @exhoe-imagines I really adore Ruby and Jewels. Like, they’re so funny and interactive with their followers; and their content is always breath taking. highkey power couple energy

- Can’t Hold Back (Jongdae, EXO): Enemies to Lovers AU, one-shot, smut, drama, slight angst

You already know Jongdae is fucked the minute he sees MC’s bathing suit on the ground while she’s in the pool. You already know that when he went home that evening, his meat was begging for mercy by the end of the night. jfladskjf okay I’m gross, I know, but carrying on– the growth between Jongdae’s and MCs relationship is really heartwarming. Could not have asked for more from this fic

- Lucky (Baekhyun + Chanyeol, EXO): College AU, one-shot, smut

So…. let’s talk about the elephant in the room… or should we say two? bc there is definitely more than one trunk for MC to handle… so…. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH GET WREKT MC

@yehet-me-up I will never not be in love with Sarah. Her Exodus Mall series really takes me back home. Often times when I’m feeling down and sick, I return to Sarah’s page and re-read that series. To say the least, I find home in Sarah’s writing.

- The Problem With Wanting (Kyungsoo, EXO): Mall AU, series, fluff, slight angst, smut

listen to this song and just take it in…. I think this was the first fic I read from the Exodus series and it will always hold a special place in my heart. This fic in particular is what I find myself coming back to again and again, time after time, and I always feel renewed. I feel youthful. More like… you know that feeling you get when you realize you’re falling in love with someone? That’s this. Please read. Please.

- Disqualified (Kyungsoo, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, one-shot, angst, fluff

Imagine twisting a knife in your gut and slowly removing it through the opposite side of your body. That’s this fic. But like. With love. askdjflksjd I really love the way Sarah portrays Kyungsoo. Her descriptions of his thoughts, mannerisms and quirks make me feel like I’m watching a movie. Everything is so distinct and the atmosphere feels tangible. idk words. I just love Sarah.

@snakescript I don’t know too much about this author but I’m totally and completely enamored with their writings. 

- Make The Devil Cry (Taeyong, NCT) : College AU, one-shot, light angst, smut

I’m weak for the “playboy” tamer… and tbh I feel like this would be Taeyong irl. Hard and complex to the eyes of an observer, but a major softy and sweet pea to the eyes of a listener. I’m upset of how little attention this fic has bc the world is really missing out on a diamond.

- Face Like Thunder (Chanyeol, EXO): Mythology/Greek God AU, one-shot, light angst, fluff

I would like to file a complaint. My heart is crying and my love for Chanyeol is soaring and I’m ACHE FOR THE MAN. Lmao I’m not even a Chanyeol stan but this fic got me thinkin’

@johobi you can always count on Jo to make you cream your pants in the middle of Target (stay away from the baby section kids)

- Bloom / Snared (Yoonji/Yoongi, BTS): Mafia AU, smut

honestly, Yoonji can wipe the floor with my body, in pool of my own blood, and I would thank her. I really really love the way Jo depicts Yoonji here. I can just feel that fem fetal power and that in itself got me ruining my underwear.

- Tooth and Claw (Jungkook, BTS) : Werewolf AU, smut

I’ve never related to furry more in my life than while I read this fic. high key wanna be rawed and torn in half by his king kong schlong … idk how MC survived, but she’s my idol.

- Dig Deep + Interval (Yoongi, BTS): Space AU, smut

I’m ngl. I really went to Pornhub and looked up tentacle porn after reading this. Y’all can @ me, roast me if you like,,,, but you’re a got-damn liar if you say this doesn’t get your blood pumping. p sure I wrote this on my tags but i didn’t even know I liked tentacle porn until then…. I hate myself

 @bread-jinie idk where to start…. there are so many things I can say about Kat…… im tongue-tied…. 

- Wings (Chanyeol, EXO): Friends to Lovers AU, angst, fluff

I think this fic is my favorite work Kat has written so far. It’s like she knows the right words to tug the strings of my heart and play me like a puppet. A heartbroken but hopeful puppet. MC and Chanyeol always looking at each other but never at the same time breaks me; thankfully, the ending patches me back together.

Honorable mentions bc I’ve grown v tired and cannot continue with full details for info regarding everything, in addition to the fact that I’m inpatient and I want to post this ASAP:

@kollectionn GOD SENT. DO NOT PLAY AROUND. YOUR LIFE WILL CHANGE. YOU WILL NEVER BE THE SAME. THE WORLD WILL END AS YOU KNOW IT. THEN BE REBORN FROM THE ASHES AS C WILLS IT SO. (sorry for the all caps but I feel INTENSELY about C and her works of art; If I can recall correctly, I believe she said that she would begin to write her own non-fanfic when she finds the time. I think she has the power and ability to write best selling novels that would leave J.K. Rowling quaking in her boots. Plz go and love C. Don’t ask for updates. Just show her all the love she deserves and more; I haven’t been lately and I feel terrible for it; I hope she knows I love her!!!)

@dropsofletters lemme tell you somm’… this author is so talented and diverse in her work that I find myself scattered with the amounts of fandom’s she holds in her clutch. I’m so thankful to have found her page on this godforsaken website bc she caters so much to this world. Talented. Spectacular. Amazing. Blessing to Society. I don’t think I’ve found any multi-fandom writers that has spread out as far as she has. She’s one of those authors that has exactly what you’re looking for, even if you don’t know what it is. An Angel.

@layhyunnie beautiful. ethereal. whimsical. Inspiring. I mean literally inspiring. I wrote a few drabbles after reading Guardian bc I wanted to try and bring to life a world outside of our own, to step outside reality, just like I felt while reading their work. 

- Guardian (Yixing, EXO): Supernatural AU, series, fluff

Again… I’m v tired… so here’s a short list of authors I meant to add here, along with their fics/full details of why I love them:

@knockknocksoosthere / @underthejoon @marshmallow-phd @kpopfanfictrash @yeolology @yeolology @whimsical-ness @remembeo @lofiexo @nochugguk @noona-clock @noonachronicles @oilblotter @soobadnoonecanstopher

((If you would like to know more about my interests in the unfinished authors, or any authors above for that matter, then please leave me an ask!! I will answer them when I am no longer tired akjsjdf I cannot reply via chat as this is only a side blog))

[aceyugiohdreamer]

Hey! (I'm the anon dude who asked about your Judai hatred) So I'm currently gradually catching up in my watch on VRAINS, and I just finished EP34. The whole badly animated episode made me quite uncomfortable because of its more blatant fanservice that sucked the episode's obviously weak budget. But when I reached the end to see Aoi's persona violently crushed head first on the ground, it made the feminist within me feel REALLY uncomfortable watching this. (1/2 or 3, I dunno)

Hey again! Thanks for coming back! I’m putting the rest under a cut because I ended up having quite a bit to say lol …

I know what I’m watching, a kid showtarget towards nippon boys and mostly otaku, and even the original mangacommitted the original Dark Magician Girl sin first, but now that the show ispurely a TCG commercial, I guess there’s not much moral left. I vigorously hatethe previous two shows but actually surprised myself enjoying VRAINS, knowingwhat it is, as I usually don’t watch anime. But after reading about somedragging Japanese idol assault case on my feed today, (2/3)

this episode really strikes me… Idon’t see many YGO fans that I relate too online, and I only found your blogrecently, but I wondered what you opinion on this would be (?) , what yourreaction at the time of the ep’s broadcast was (?) , being a queer duelist too- if I may label you as such without intended offense. Maybe I’m just gettingtoo old for anime as a mid-20s guy, but this Blue Angel character’s fucked,whilst the Aoi side is the most decent female since early Aki.. Opinion? (3/3)

(I’m definitely not offended by“queer”, I like the word, so you are more than welcome to use it with me ^^)

Ughhhh what a topic. Frankly, Ican’t really name anything about yugioh that has ever felt feminist to me, andvrains is no exception. I had some hopes in the very beginning that Aoi wasgoing to be a respectable (and respected, by the narrative) character, but those hopes were dashed pretty quickly and it’s only gottenworse as the show has gone on. She was set up to be a strong duelist, but thenquickly got demoted to damsel who’s not allowed to be on par with the amazingprotagonist. She gets lip service from characters who say she’s good, but wedon’t get to see it on screen, which is a problem.

And I don’t understand idol culture,so that whole persona of hers really turned me off. It’s not just that Ipersonally don’t like that kind of hyper-feminine aesthetic, it was also thatthey directly tied that aesthetic with a character that the writers seemeddeliberately determined to weaken and fetishize. She’s only allowed to havecute, frilly female monsters, and in any duel that matters to the plot, sheloses most of the time, which just continues this association betweenfemininity and weakness. Aoi/her Blue avatars are mostly meant to be eye candyand waifus, and it’s so fucking frustrating.

To be honest, I tend to forget a lotof details from vrains after I’ve watched an episode because I’m just not incrediblyinvested in it, so I don’t put much effort into trying to remember it. I justremember what happens to stick, and I don’t think about it much. I’m mostlyonly watching out of some kind of nostalgic love for the original, not out of agenuine love for vrains itself, even though I do enjoy it on some level.

So I had to google which episodenumber 34 was to remember the scene you mentioned. And yeah, I feel you, thephysical abuse Aoi endures in this show comes across as brutal in a way thatfeels different from the trauma Yusaku went through. What he went through wasfucked up too, but it’s been presented as the catalyst for him becoming strongand focused and justice-oriented. With Aoi, her defeats are spectacles,sometimes given lavish attention, and they don’t seem to lead to anysubstantial development for her. She gets a few superficial changes, but thenarrative still treats her as second-class and expendable, because ultimatelyher development doesn’t have much impact on the overall story.

I don’t really remember how I feltat the time I first saw the episode, but I’m pretty sure it was something alongthe lines of an annoyed sigh, because it was just so disappointing andpredictable at the same time. Of course she lost. It’s just Blue Angel afterall, why would she be important enough to defeat an enemy? (At least a maleone. She does win against the one other female character in the enemy camp,because THAT’S allowed apparently.)

I don’t think the violent manner ofher defeat struck me at the time, but seeing it again and in that context ofactual idols getting assaulted, it does feel pretty gross. It’s always felt tome like idols are presented as public property and not human beings deservingof dignity and agency, and they perform specifically to draw out love fromtheir fans to encourage them to obsess and feel possessive of them. So when yousee a fictional idol getting physically hurt like that, it does smack of thatidea that idols exist for the emotions of their fans. If Blue Angel gets hurt,it’s because the writers are hoping to get an emotional reaction, not becausethey plan on using it for any substantial purpose. So yeah, anything having todo with Aoi makes the feminist in me cringe, but I went through that with Akitoo and I’ll still never forgive the writers for how they ruined her.

I wanted to like Aoi, but they justcouldn’t resist making a mockery of her and dropping any potential she had tobe a character that actually mattered.

And I totally agree that the show feelslike an ongoing TCG commercial. That’s why I only half payattention to the duels because I can’t keep up with them anymore. I don’t remember the originalfeeling this way, and maybe that was because a lot of the monsters felt likecharacters themselves and actually played an emotional role in the players’ lives, whereaswith vrains, there’s no relationship between players and their monsters. It’sall about their relationship with vrains and the AIs. The cards have become simple tools now with no heart and soul and meaning to them.

(and if you want to keep talking about this, you’re more than welcome to message me on chat, or keep sending anons, whatever works for you, it’s all good ^^)

[shidoukanae]

Who are the People of the Data Storm? (theory)

Okay going over episode one again because there’s so much information packed full into there and since everyone’s combed through the obvious information I’m gonna comb through the “doesn’t-seem-too-important-but-I’m-gonna-scream-over-it-anyways” information. Namely, about the special group of people Kusanagi talks about when bringing up the infamous Data Storm of the VRAINS.

Alright, so, Kusanagi mentions that a “certain” group of people did Speed Duels, introducing to us the fact that Speed Duels (and therefore probably Data Storms too, since he’s on the topic of it) are not new to VRAINS. Alright, okay, cool. On one hand, this is an obvious in-show explanation to familiarize the audience with the concept of Data Storms and their importance to the show (namely, Playmaker’s skill and his ability to draw new cards to help him in battle). On the other hand though, it’s also a means to bring up some questions.

For example, this special group of people...do they still exist? Who are they and where are they now? Supposedly, they were well-known and (possibly) well-liked as Kusanagi seems to imply. I mean, if they were notorious for the concept and perhaps the creation of Speed Duels, now that Speed Duels have been reinvented, where are they? Past this point, there has been nothing mentioned about them or even referenced about them. Yet, obviously, they had some huge impact on the VRAINS world. 

In the current day of the show, we see that the re-emergence of Speed Duels and Data Storms had created quite a stir with the real world. People are fascinated by it, trying it out for themselves and overall making a huge fuss about it. Kusanagi is the only one who seems to have a decent recollection of what a Data Storm (and what Speed Duels) are while Akira is hinted to at least recognize them in some vague fashion. Other than that, it seems like both Speed Duels and Data Storms have become a sort of “myth”. 

In episode two, the audience watching Playmaker’s duel seems to have heard of it but none of them actually seem to recognize the Data Stream that has appeared before them. And, what’s more, in episode 3, people seemed initially unaware of the dangers of riding the Data Stream, with two surfers tackling the mysterious ‘wind’ head-on with the intention of looking cool in front of the cameras. They were more fascinated with internet fame than wary about the potential harm that could occur from surfing on such a strange thing. It’s unknown whether anyone has actually died in the past from a Speed Duel but it’s been implied that, yes, it has, because Akira himself was well aware of the consequences enough to be certain about it in front of his sister. 

...But, back to the point. I feel like this “certain group” of duelists holds high importance to the plot. They may be the “true” antagonists we’ve been thinking of, the so-called “Dark Signers” or “Barians” of this series. Their evident lack of existence so far in the series is suspicious. 

Despite only ever being mentioned once, the show wouldn’t have reason to talk about them if they didn’t have a place in the plot. We already know episode one is chock full of “gonna be important later” facts (we have yet to see the other five AI’s, SOL’s desperation to find Ignis, Cyverse, Yusaku’s seeming connection to Ignis/the VRAINS) so it’s not out of the question that this “certain group of people” will have relevance too. 

Another possibility is that we already know these special people. Or, at least, some of them. From what little we know, it was likely they were active five years prior to current day. Likely, they were kids or young adults as those two groups are the only ones who seem interested (as of now) in Speed Duels. But, if it’s five years later, those “certain people” of the Data Storm are likely adults.

Like...Kusanagi. Or Ema. Or Akira. Or, even, Revolver’s dad. 

Consider this. All the adults we’ve been shown so far seem to be hiding something. Kusanagi, though more a background and supporting character to Yusaku than anything else, seems to know a lot more than he’s tell us. The mere fact that he seems brings up Speed Duels randomly to Yusaku hints of both plot explanation AND of plot importance. Kusanagi doesn’t only mention Data Storms and groups of people we’ve yet to know, but of “monsters in the wind” and a “paradise” that sounds eerily significant for something to occur down the road. 

Kusanagi seems to be more knowledgeable than he lets on and, perhaps, the reason why he is the only one (so far) who has referenced this notorious ‘group’ is because he was one of them. He’s aware of Speed Duels when most of the public has forgotten about them, speaking that Speed Duels (and, by extension, Data Storms, which are needed for Speed Duelst to exist) must have had some sort of relevance with him for him to have not only remembered what they were but what they looked like as well. 

I definitely feel like it’s suspicious that he’s able to recognize them while Naoki, someone who is a fan of the VRAINS enough to keep up-to-date with the latest in technology and the trendy idols, seems clueless as hell about what Data Storms are aside from basic rumors (which means we can infer that images of Speed Duels are apparently unavailable as otherwise how can you NOT recognize such a weird and obviously Speed Duel-related phenomenon if you’re such a fan of the VRAINS??? This makes it even more suspicious that Kusanagi is able to recognize just exactly what a Data Storm looks like) which is just plain odd.

It’s possible that Ema (and yes, I AM bring her up again because, like I’ve mentioned before, her potential can go in so MANY directions that it’s hard just to place in one certain direction and automatically assume I’m right) was once a part of this "people of the Data Storm” group too. There’s nothing to point her in this direction necessarily but her baring some similarities to Kusanagi makes me wonder. Both seem to keep to themselves, seem to be loners (aside from Yusaku, in the latter’s case) and, if Kusanagi is suspicious of knowing more than we know than so is Ema. She’s just as secretive as Kusanagi is, with few connections and just as lacking in motivation as the hot dog man is. 

Well, anyways, episode 8 will hopefully be more indicative of whether or not she has more major influence than we realize. Personally, I wonder if she has some history with Kusanagi. The fact that the writers are keeping her from interacting with anyone but Akira (who seems to be, as of now, a business-related contact only) makes me a bit suspicious. Every other character introduced has had their time to shine so far in almost every episode (and I’m including the times whenever Aoi appears as her Blue Angel persona) and yet Ema is the only character to have shown up for a grand total of like maybe a minute throughout the duration of 7 episodes. I realize she’s been off-screen investigating into Playmaker but with all the on-screen appearances other characters have made (even Specter, of all people, has had more screen-time than her) you’d think she’d be shining a little more brighter. Yet, the fact that they tuck her away makes me think they do so for a reason (And hopefully not just because she’s a YGO female). If she knows other members of the cast like Kusanagi, it is better to keep her from interacting with them so as to maintain her mystery and as well as to hide from us just how much she really knows. The less we see her the less we know about her and her connections and how she plays into anything at all like being in this ‘special group of people’.

Now, Revolver’s “father” and Akira Zaizen can also potential members of this perplexing band of hidden individuals but I actually believe they don’t really have any relevance. This is merely because Revolver’s dad looks a bit too old to have partaken in such shenanigans (and how would being the ~potential~ leader of the Knights of Hanoi have tied in with him being a member of this group, anyways? It doesn’t seem like the two factions are in any way related to one another from what he know so far) and, had Akira been a member, his sister would have known and used that against him. Akira being a notorious duelist (unless he kept his identity a definite secret from even her, I guess) of the Data Storm would have given Blue Angel fuel to fight against her brother when he chided her for partaking in such dangerous duels. Not only that, but if he knew of the consequences of the Data Storm firsthand (as I’m sure this group of people were super attuned to that fact) then he would’ve been more pushy and insistent to the point of probably locking her out of her account instead of just letting it slide when she went against his wishes. It might also explain why Ema and Akira are on familiar-ish terms to each other and why Akira seems to trust her when we’ve learned beforehand that she’s just as likely to help someone as she is to harm them (apparently. Again, waiting for episode 8 before anything concrete can be assumed about her).

Tl;dr: Kusanagi mentions a certain group of people in episode one and I believe they hold a lot of importance to the plot and what little we know about it so far. I also believe that Kusanagi might have been one of their members (due to recognizing the Data Storm immediately in episode 2 while others in the audience only knew it by name and rumors) and that it’s possible the other relevant adults - namely, Ema, Akira, and Revolver’s father - were also members of this special Speed-Dueling team. Whoever this certain organization was could also be villains or could be relevant to the plot in some other way.

[girls-scenarios]

Red Equinox. Pt 4.

Idols: Red velvet.

Prompt: All was well for the red velvet coven. The spring equinox was approaching and the girls were preparing. However an unexpected visitor returns and shakes their world upside down. Will they be able to protect themselves and each other? Will they make it out alive?

A/N: This is another one of those weird chapters that’s like a filler to move onto the next one so sorry if it’s not as exciting as before (oops). Everything is now written and finished so part 5 will be the finale so please look forward to the end.

Warnings: swearing

1//2//3//4//5

Writer: Admin Kitty.

Rain hammered against the small square window waking Wendy from her slumber. She looked around the dark box room. She definitely wasn't at home anymore. She tried to move her arms but they were tied together around a water pipe. Seulgi was still passed out from hitting her head on the stairs but Irene was awake, watching the rain hit the tiny window.

“Ugh, what happened?” Wendy asked feeling like she was going to be sick.

“She blew some kind of powder in your face to knock you out.” Irene said.

“What about you?” Wendy asked.

“I distracted Jessica and Krystal so Joy could escape.” Irene tried to move down the pipe closer to Wendy.

“And did she?” Wendy hoped they still had Joy as hope. Irene nodded.

“I hope she’s okay. Don’t lose faith, Joy would do anything for us.”

A groan came from the other side of the room. “Fuck, my head is killing me.” Seulgi moaned.

“That’s what you get for trying to slice an evil witch's face.” Irene couldn't help but chuckle.

“Yeah well, I can’t say she didn't deserve it.” Seulgi went to touch the bleeding wound on her head but found her hands were tied to a pipe.

“Great, just great. Where’s Joy and Yeri?” Seulgi squinted in the darkness, she couldn't see them in there with them.

“Joy managed to escape and Yeri is with Jessica.” Irene said studying the rope around her wrist.

“She’s got Yeri! Fuck.” Seulgi rolled her head back and rested it on the wall.

“She didn’t get Yeri, Yeri wanted to go with her. She said she was sick of being treated like a child by us.” Wendy scoffed. She didn’t treat Yeri like a child, she just wanted to protect her at all costs.

“That doesn’t sound like Yeri. I know Yeri better than you and I know she wouldn’t do that.” Seulgi didn’t believe her.

“Well that’s what she did, get your head out of your ass and see that she betrayed us.” This whole day had taken a tole on Wendy and her patience was wearing thin.

“Maybe if you didn’t treat her the way you do, she wouldn’t want to leave us.” Seulgi retorted. 

“I’m sorry that I care about her well being.” Wendy said sarcastically.

“There’s caring and then there’s smothering. No wonder she hates you.” Seulgi replied venomously. The two girl began shouting insults back and forth until Irene had, had enough.

“SHUT UP!” Irene shouted.

“We are locked in a fucking basement that only God knows where and you two are arguing like fucking children!” The two girls looked a different corners of the room, avoiding eye contact with each other and Irene. They felt ashamed.

“Frankly I am tired of the both of you arguing all the time. We are supposed to be a team. How can we work together if the only thing that comes out of your mouths is insults.”

“We can’t change the fact that she’s left us, but Jessica will kill her when she’s done with her. I suggest the two of you grow up or you will both be forced to leave the coven.”

Both the girls were gobsmacked, they never thought in a million years that Irene would do such a thing but by the look on her face she was deadly serious.

“I’d strangle you both right now if I could.” Irene said not looking back and forth between them.

All the girls remained silent. Irene was scraping her ropes on the bar hoping it will cut loose.

“I don’t think we can cast magic in here.” Seulgi said looking for a door. It was too dark to see if there was anything in the room, all she could make out was shadows of Irene and Wendy.

“Obviously. Jessica isn’t stupid.” Wendy replied sarcastically.

“I was just saying, God you don’t need to be so rude about it.” Seulgi was tired of arguing.

“This isn’t working.” Irene panted, she stopped trying to break her rope.

“If this is the end, I wanna say as much as you two get on my nerves; I love you both.” Irene said sincerely and smiled. Seulgi started tearing up.

“Thank you for saving us Irene, you’re the reason we’re still alive today. We couldn’t have wished for a better coven leader.” Seulgi said through her tears.

“Yeah, thank you Irennie. Also Seulgi I’m sorry. I didn’t mean anything and you know that. Sometimes I…” Wendy was cut off by the small box window being smashed by a rock.

Joy popped her head into the window.

“How’s everyone doing down there?” she said cheerfully.

“Well you interrupted my heartfelt speech.” Wendy said annoyed.

“I’m sorry, I only came here to save your lives. Carry on.” Joy prompted Wendy.

“Just get us out of here!” Wendy shouted up to her.

Joy pulled out a large jar and opened the lid, releasing a sparkly smoke into the room. From the smoke four girls appeared, their beautiful pixie wings shimmered.

“I hope you’ve brought other friends Joy.” Seulgi shouted out “I’m not sure pixies are gonna cut it. No offence guys, you know I love you all.”

“None taken, but we can get you out of here and that's all that matters right now.” Yooa said untying Seulgi’s rope. Binnie and Arin untied Wendy and Irene while Hyojung was digging around in her pouch for shrinking powder.

“Okay girls, grab onto a pixie. Once you’re shrunken we’ll fly out, if you let go I can’t promise that you’ll live.” she tried saying as lightly as possible. They all grabbed onto one of the pixies long flowing pastel coloured dresses while Hyojung sprinkled shimmering dust on them.

Once shrunken they were the size of a pea.

“I can’t believe I could get any smaller.” Wendy said in a high pitched voice.

“Your voice sounds stupid.” Chuckled Seulgi in the same way.

“So does yours!” Wendy shouted back.

The pixies flew out the small window, un-shrinking once they reached the ground.

“Joy!” Seulgi ran and pulled Joy into a hug, refusing to let go. 

Irene didn’t like pixie magic, it made her disorientated. She struggled to gain her balance so she sat on the muddy floor.

“Umm, Yeri’s in trouble so….” she pried Seulgi off of her.

“I say we leave her, she betrayed us.” Wendy said looking around at where they were. Which was the middle of nowhere, yet there was something oddly familiar about it.

“I told her to.” Joy said nonchalantly.

“What do you mean?” Irene said confused.

“I knew that our best bet would be if she went with Jessica, so I told Yeri to try and find a way to make it seem like she legitimately wanted to go so she caused an argument.” Joy said.

“When did you do that?” Seulgi asked.

“I left a note on her bed. I told that she needed to do as I told her because it would save our lives and hers.” Joy explained.

“I told you Wendy. She would never leave us.” Seulgi said smugly. Wendy rolled her eyes.

“Where are we by the way?” Irene said looking around. They were standing next to a small thatched roof cottage in the middle of nowhere. There were no other houses or buildings in site only fields and grasslands. In the distance huge black clouds were swarming and lightening was striking. She assumed that was where they were going.

“Take a guess.” Joy said sadly.

“We’re in the field again. She brought us back here didn’t she?” Joy nodded at Irene's response. “And I’m guessing we’re going over there.” Irene said pointing at the dark mass of clouds in the distance, to which Joy nodded again.

“Did you bring backup?” Wendy asked nervously.

“The werewolf boys, the EXID coven and the angels.” Joy listed off.

“Angels?” Seulgi asked. She didn’t know any angels.

“Is it Dayoung, Yeonjung and the others?” Arin spoke up from behind them. Joy nodded.

“I wanted to contact the SNSD coven but they are travelling at the moment.” Joy said looking around. She could hear rumbling from nearby which was quickly getting closer.

A large pack of wolves was fast approaching. The pack leader howled loudly as they grinded to a halt near the girls. They transformed back into their human selves; the Nct wolf pack.

“Irene.” The pack leader nodded towards her.

“Taeyong.” She responded back. They hadn’t really seen eye to eye before. “I see you’ve brought the young ones.” She said looking at Jisung and Chenle. She didn’t agree with werewolf practices.

“I figured they could use the training.” He said without showing emotion.

“Where are the others?” Binnie asked. “It’s getting late and the equinox is fast approaching.” she said nervously.

“We’ve been down there for two days?!” Wendy exclaimed.

“Yeah it was hard to find you.” She responded. 

“Also the others are meeting us there. We need to get going.” Joy walked off towards the stormy are as the others followed. They were sure in for a fight.

[fem-castielnovak]

I want to talk about storyteller!Cas who knows all these legends and lore and can talk for days about the things and people he’s seen over the millennia. Who loves history and knowing firsthand how humans have grown in intelligence and ability and how their interactions have changed with society even as it all tied together. Humans tell stories; it’s what they do, it’s how they communicate and Castiel appreciates that on occasion he gets to participate in the storytelling firsthand. 

I like to think about Cas making friends in Purgatory, too. Even as he tried to remain a hermit. Maybe he found himself stumbling onto a camp of lesser supernatural creatures who couldn't tell he was an angel. And maybe he was so starved for contact that he didn't think anything of pausing to rest with them, and then they convinced him to join their group because there's safety in numbers (lesser supernatural creatures try to follow this code in the predator-filled forest) and because he's a good storyteller. So he makes friends with them and travels with them for weeks, able to easily get them to continue moving away from Dean. Until they stumble onto some Leviathans who slaughter everyone except Cas because Cas is the only one who can manage to get away. He makes the mistake of making friends one more time before realizing that the leviathans will always find him and always slaughter his companions. And that's when Dean finds him.

Now please consider storyteller!Cas in purgatory, newly happened upon by Dean and his vampire buddy. It would take a few days for them to adjust to being together as a group, and they'd talk about what they did in their separation but when Cas mentions the storytelling part, he's mildly surprised when Dean shows interest in it. He knows Dean's forte is myths and lore but they've only had a few conversations about it. The next day, as they're traveling, Dean sniffs and sighs, breathing in the too cold air before asking, "So, Cas - what do you know about Purgatory?" "You might want to narrow your question," he responds and gives a wry glance which Dean returns easily. "You're familiar with Dante's divine comedy, yes?" "It's been years since I read it through but yeah." He turns to the vampire, "You ever read it, Benny?" "Can't say that I have." "'S a good story," Dean says, looking forward once more and nodding to himself. "The stories recorded by Dante are more artful and of course, twisted to rhyme,” Cas intones, “But the overall themes and concepts as well as the cyclical nature of it all stands true." "So was God really a reading rainbow?" Dean asks with a grin. Cas squints at him, "I assume you're making a reference by twisting Dante's portrayal of the Devine, but no, God was and is not to my knowledge a book surrounded by refractions of light. Man made in his image is closer from what I understand. Dante was never actually permitted to see God,” he adds, “that was just the way he processed what he was presented with." "So what actually happened?" Dean asks. And his voice intones that he is ripe to hear the story in its truth; Cas soaks in the moment and then begins to speak. Over the next few days and nights he tells them the whole tale. Benny and Dean ask questions that keep him on his toes and keep him talking because it means they're still interested. Sometimes they're interrupted by fighting or hiding in silence and the topic might change in/because of that interim, but Cas's companions would always bring it back to the story of Dante and Virgil and Dante's search for Beatrice.

So Cas paints this picture of words. And he revels in the way his telling of this story can visibly evoke emotion in his companions and keep them interested enough to ask questions and make commentary that provokes thought and discussion. And Cas gets caught up in the characters; discussing who they were in life and why it was important that they meet Dante and how they interacted in the story. And Benny, romantic that he is, asks about Dante's relationship to Beatrice, which of course raises Dean's own questions on the matter. ((in reality, Beatrice and Dante had a great meetcute but Dante was creepily obsessed with Beatrice for his entire life even after she died so I rewrote it and romanticized it like he does in his books)) So Cas describes Dante and Beatrice's relationship. "In the stories," he says, "she is a beatific character because of her name and because of the way Dante almost idolized her. In reality, she brought light and love to his life; and eventually she would be what connected him to Paradise. They were childhood sweethearts and circumstances dictated that they couldn't marry but they remained in love with one another and were the closest of confidantes - best friends when they were not allowed to be anything more. When Beatrice died, Dante was desolate. His potential is formidable though, and he was sent a *dream vision* of the afterlife in three parts." "Isn't that the thing where writers use dreams in their writing to talk about stuff - knowledge - that they supposedly they can't realize when they're awake?" Dean asks, then snaps his fingers and points at Cas, "Beowulf." "Dream of the Rood is the more popular example but yes, dream visions were popular storytelling devices in the time of Beowulf." Dean nods and Cas goes on. "The purpose of his dream was to impart and spread the knowledge he learned. Getting to see Beatrice at the end of it was just an incentive. As the three of us are well aware, the journey through the afterlife is not an easy one." Emphasizing his point, Benny and Dean both nearly slide down a sudden slope that cuts off part of the path. They recompose themselves and Cas turns back to the path ahead of them, "Dante was the only one deemed talented and dedicated enough to reach the end goal." "He was //that in love with her?" Benny asks. Cas nods. (^that never sent earlier)Last Tuesday at 1:49 PMfem-deanwinchester"They meant the world to each other. Virgil made it clear that Dante would see her again in heaven at the end of his life, but it wasn't enough. Which, again, was the point of sending him rather than someone else with his talents. But it's still beautiful to think about." Dean's gone quiet, but Cas keeps talking about Dante's struggle through the afterlife and how the clearly outlined and ordered trials of Purgatory were presented to him in a specific manner so as to appear ordered and were, in reality different physical and metaphorical monsters to be battled. "Virgil was charged with protecting Dante and illustrating the lessons he was meant to learn. It was a more difficult job than one might think, because the whole time, Virgil kept having to reassure Dante that they were in fact on the path to heaven to meet Beatrice. Dante seemed to think that the lessons were merely a diversion along the journey to reunite with his love. He did learn them, though, and after a time was even able to assist Virgil in battling the physical monsters, not just the metaphorical ones." "Wait, go back a minute," Benny actually stops in his tracks to say this, and Cas thinks he might be about to prop his machete up in the ground. "Are you tellin' me that there's a way to get to heaven from Purgatory?" "Well, firstly this was something less than a physical journey to Purgatory, and secondly there were special circumstances where a portal - not unlike the one we're heading to - was opened for them to travel through. The original illustrations for it are beautiful in the books." "So, can't your Angel buddies come scoop us up and get us the hell out of here? Swing low sweet chariot?" Cas resists the very telling and human urge to clear his throat, "The politics of heaven have changed dramatically in the past four years, let alone the past four hundred." "Is that a no?" Benny asks expectantly. "That's a no," Cas tells him dryly before turning back around to start walking again. They get through what little they have left to discuss of the last Le of Dante's journey through purgatory but get interrupted just as he enters the garden of heaven. The battle is short work but night falls quickly in the land of gods and monsters. Finding territory that isn't hunting grounds or camp grounds for anyone else takes what little time qualifies as sunset and then they're building a fire with the driest logs they can find. Benny has a little bag of purgatory-herbs he tosses into the fire; the scent and heat-light combination help deter other monsters from bothering them at night, although in especially dangerous territory, patrol shifts are necessary. Benny shoves a pile of leaves together and lays stretched out on his side while Dean and Cas lean up against trees on opposite sides of the fire. It gets too cold at night for any of them to get more than a couple of feet away from the flames so they can still speak in low voices (both for polite reasons and so they don't attract unwanted attention). "So, what happens when he finds Beatrice?" Benny asks. Dean scoffs because he's started making fun of Benny about begging for bedtime stories each night. Cas doesn't mind though, and he can tell Dean like it too. He thinks it makes them both feel normal for a little; humans have always been storytellers. "Dante, even though he was prepared to find her, was still shocked to finally see her after so long. So he stood still for a  moment, called out her name and stared as he took her in. She smiled at him with the grace of a soul content in their afterlife and they embraced," Cas likes to embellish sometimes because he can tell what his audience wants to hear, but he can picture this perfectly.

"The trip through paradise was a lot of standing around and explaining and peeling back veils and dimensions and layers of enlightenment. Beatrice held his hand and stood close to guide him through it all. She played her part to perfection by imparting knowledge and truths to Dante so without sparing comfort." He can hear how grandiose he's getting but there's real poignancy in this story. He goes into detail about what it was she told him and why it was important and talks about it for a while but when he catches sight of Dean stifling a yawn, he promises them that tomorrow, he'll describe the unseeable and celestial dimensions and beings that were partially revealed to Dante. Benny grunts goodnight then rolls over and starts snoring softly. Cas watches him for a moment and can feel Dean staring at him from across the fire. Cas musters himself and turns to meet his gaze. The fire feels too accurate, crackling between them as they stare. Dean seems too lost in thought for his first words not to be a diversion; "You're a fantastic storyteller, Cas. I get why Sam would sometimes come outta conversations with such a big nerd boner.” He tries for a grin, “When we're done with Dante's Bible study you should let me pick your brain about other types of mythology." Cas holds their locked gaze but he remains silent. Dean sighs. "I figured it out," he says, serious and resigned. "You're my Beatrice." Cas glances surreptitiously at their snoring companion. "Doesn't matter if he's awake or not," Dean says, catching him at it, "Pretty sure he knows already, anyways." Cas takes his time bringing his eyes back to meet Dean's. "What I want to know," Dean continues, "is when you figured it out." He waits a beat, "How long have you known?" "A long time." "Your narrow and specific time frame is appreciated," he says, and Lord have mercy on Castiel - Dean hasn't been this rudely sarcastic to him in ages. He'd thought they'd gotten past that. "Not as long as the feelings have been there but not less than two years." "Jesus," Dean mutters, "and you didn't think to mention this to me?" "I didn't think you'd want me knowing." "For future reference, you having knowledge of my incredibly personal secrets is something I'd like to be discretely," he delivers a knowing look with the emphasis, "made aware of." Cas waits in case he has anything else to add. "Duly noted." "...So there's not a different, more personal reason you didn't say anything?" Cas lets confusion color his expression. "Like pulling fucking teeth," Dean sighs and then in a voice riddled with sarcasm asks, "Are my advances wanted? Is this terrible pining one-sided? You're my Beatrice, but am I your Dante?" "Dean-" Cas starts, but cuts himself off with a sigh and sudden avoidance of his gaze. Dean gives him a generous minute. "Cas." he prompts. "Do my feelings offend you?"  he asks with careful, patronizing enunciation.  "No." Cas responds, but even he can tell that Dean is going to need more than that. "They're returned." He forces himself to look across the fire once more. "Returned?" Dean asks, nearly incredulous. "So- You feel the same way about me as I feel about you?"  "That's usually what's meant when-" "Cut the crap." "So, you get to be sarcastic but I don't?" "Cas, you literally just told me you were in love with me." "Thank you, I'm aware." "Jesus," Dean swipes a hand over his face but lifts his face. "So?" he asks quietly. "So, what." "So-, so- are we gonna do anything about this?" Cas hesitates, "I wasn't sure you'd //want to do anything about ... this." "Cas. Buddy. You're the one holding all the cards here. What is it that you want?" But Cas isn't thinking about what he wants. Or he is, but only in the peripheral sense of the way Dean is involving it in their conversation. What he's thinking about is how Dean feels and what he's going to feel when ... at the end of the day they can't be together. He's thinking long-term about Dean's abandonment issues but he's also thinking about Dean's issues with rejection, and what sort of story/out Cas can create that Dean will buy into and accept. He's trying to find a middle ground that isn't a ... a fucking purgatory of emotion (he wants to roll his eyes at himself and the English language for that). "Is it... is it a good idea to start something here? Now?" Dean stares again, "Cas, if you felt about me how I felt about you-" "Dean, I want this. I also don't want anything to spoil my chances with you. This ... this, with you doesn't feel like a risk. It feels like an inevitability. But I want you to be safe and I don't want you to be hurt."  Dean frowns severely, "And what?" he asks rhetorically as he moves to stand without warning. "Being around you constantly - which is something that will continue to happen - spending all this time together, knowing we want each other but not doing anything about it," he begins to slowly round the fire, "is supposed to, what? Protect me? How?" he asks, crouching down to sit beside Cas who stares into the fire. He lowers his voice, "I know you're aware that that doesn't make sense. You're just afraid. So either give me a real reason, or kiss me." The words are phrased lightheartedly but his expression is confrontational. Cas takes his sweet time before looking away from the flames. Dean is close enough to share body heat. His face is open and searching, and Castiel can only think of moths batting at lampshades and turtles following the light of the moon. He leans in swiftly - time will only make him doubt himself and he wants to be allowed to have this. Their lips meet and break. 

They kiss for a long time. 

Dean slowly, progressively tangles their bodies together until they're horizontal and slack-mouthed. "Didn't wanna sleep alone tonight," Dean mumbles, nuzzling into the corner of Castiel's shoulder. “Glad I don’t have to.” Cas hushes him and rubs a soothing hand across his back. Another pretense. But Cas knew what was coming. What is coming, still. He knows what's going to happen; at this point it's just a matter of how long it lasts. Because Cas has told Dean how the story plays out, and it was written five centuries ago. He's played by the rules; Dean's had his warning. And if he can't see what the end means, well... It's just another game Castiel has to play to execute his escape and get Dean safely back home. He wonders what they'll talk about when the Divine Comedy has wrapped itself up; thinks about how he's going to finish the story tomorrow. He's said everything in fullness. But the part he's going to have to be careful about, is the analysis of the ending. Because no matter how much either of them wanted it, Beatrice couldn't come back with Dante. 

[doctorwhonews]

Doctor Who - The War Doctor Vol 4: Casualties of War

Latest Review: Written by Guy Adams, Andrew Smith and Nicholas Briggs Produced by David Richardson Directed by Nicholas Briggs Big Finish Productions, 2017 Stars: John Hurt (The War Doctor), Louise Jameson (Leela), Jacqueline Pearce (Cardinal Ollistra), Joseph Kloska (Schandel), Julia Hills (Sera/Spokesperson), Mark Elstob (Editor/Old Man), Lizzie Roper (Rosata Laxter/High Minister), Chris Porter (Skaul/Freel), Alan David (Castellan Kanteer), Jane Slavin (Panopticon Guard Lintok), and Nicholas Briggs (Dalek Time Strategist/Daleks/Assault Team Leader) “I’m the stuff of nightmares! I’m a murderer, a warrior, a demon let loose in the time stream, a man who’s lost his conscience, his friends – even his name!” The War Doctor The latest – and possibly last – instalment in Big Finish’s The War Doctor saga, Casualties of War, has an unintentional poignant edge to it – it is the last Doctor Who-related work of the late, great Sir John Hurt. Hurt delivers such a lively, commanding, sometimes weary and at other times profound portrayal that it is hard to believe the owner of that distinctive, gravelly voice will no longer entertain us with his gift. As co-star Louise Jameson remarks in the CD extras, his voice is “perfect for audio … so full of character and a life lived!” Hurt clearly enjoyed doing drama on audio; he could project his wonderful voice and deliver some great oratory. Indeed, in an interview with BF supremo Nick Briggs (that is available as part of a tribute podcast that BF released not long after his death), Hurt talked about the advantages of radio drama over television and the theatre. “I love sound for a start,” he told Briggs. “I’ve always enjoyed voice work, I’ve always enjoyed doing radio, I think, because it’s very akin to film and less akin to stage … You can cut between this time, that time … You can play with it the same way you can in film but it’s more immediate. You have to have a sensibility for it, you have to hear it in your head, you have to know what your voice is sounding like and how it comes across.”  There is no doubt that Hurt was in his element in The War Doctor saga and in BF’s adaptation of HG Wells’ The Invisible Man. Despite Hurt’s dedication to his art, Casualties of War won’t ever be a tour de force, nor is it the best of BF’s four War Doctor volumes. However, it would be unfair to judge it too harshly in the context of Hurt’s passing. It is an entertaining collection, and it brings The War Doctor saga to a satisfactory, if somewhat predictable close. Just as the titles of the last couple of box sets reflected loose themes – eg the lengths to which Daleks and Time Lords alike would go to find an edge in Infernal Devices, and the machinations of third parties in Agents of Chaos – so Casualties of War explores the impact of the Time War on worlds, societies and even other realities unlucky enough to be caught in the crossfire. The war’s effects through time have been explored in other Doctor Who audios (notably the Eighth Doctor serial The Sontaran Ordeal) but this box set does a sterling job of putting the Time Lords, the Daleks and the listeners on the front line. Pretty Lies, the first of Volume 4’s tales, largely resumes from where Vol 3 concluded, with the Doctor and Time Lord War Council strategist Cardinal Ollistra (Jacqueline Pearce) on the run from the Daleks. In some respects, the story setting is reminiscent of an old Western – as a couple of strangers “mosey” into an isolated township on a remote frontier planet and inadvertently defend it against marauders. After crash landing on Beltox, the Doctor and Ollistra meet Schandel (Joseph Kloska), a time-travelling war correspondent. Schandel, with the aid of an AI conveniently called Editor (Mark Elstob), has anticipated their arrival and is aware of their roles in an impending Dalek attack on the human township of Fairgill. Reluctantly the Doctor and Ollistra must use their wits and Fairgill’s scant resources to buy themselves time and save as many lives as possible against an all-out Dalek assault. Throughout almost two decades of BF’s Doctor Who range, we’ve come across a few journalists and war correspondents in its serials (notably in Colditz and The Angel of Scutari). Whereas those characters were largely unlikeable and unheroic, Schandel is clearly naïve. In fact, given his unbridled enthusiasm upon meeting one of his idols – “the legendary Doctor”, “the greatest hero of the Time War” and an “inspiration” – it’s clear Schandel is more of a clueless, overexcited fanboy than a detached journalist. “I’m not normally this giddy!” he confesses to the Doctor. “I really am a bit of a fan!” There is no doubt that scribe Guy Adams has based Schandel on a variety of Doctor Who fans he’s met but he doesn’t let the character get too out of control. Adams uses Schandel to show, much to the Doctor’s chagrin, how truth can indeed be one of the first casualties of war and how the camera can sanitise war for the sake of entertainment. Indeed, the Doctor is horrified when his words are edited and presented in a context that make him out to be a hero (the one thing he insists he’s not). Adams devises a clever ruse at the climax which also ties in with his underlying commentary on the wartime role of the media. It’s not necessarily an original climax (indeed it’s very reminiscent of a ruse used to fool Pearce’s former persona Servalan in the Blake’s 7 TV episode The Harvest of Kairos) but it’s effective and dramatic. The second instalment, The Lady of Obsidian, sees the War Doctor and Cardinal Ollistra again on the front lines of the Time War, as the Time Lords make a stand at the planet Grend. While Ollistra seeks to amass a Gallifreyan time fleet to head off an impending Dalek strike force, the Doctor goes in search of the mysterious “Lady of Obsidian” to recruit her guerrilla faction which is attacking Dalek forces in the sector. It isn’t long before the Doctor realises the so-called “Lady” is in fact his former companion Leela (Louise Jameson). But this is a very changed Leela from the “savage” we knew in the classic era of Doctor Who and indeed in BF’s Gallifrey spin-off series. Her psyche has been scarred  –  both figuratively and literally – by the Time War. While Leela’s affliction – a “time wound” – is not entirely convincing to the listener (anyone else in her position would probably be driven mad by the condition), Louise Jameson turns in a persuasively tortured, anguished, confused and uncertain portrayal. In the subsequent tale, once restored of her faculties, Jameson portrays the naïve, instinctive and curious huntress that we’ve loved for more than 40 years. In the 2009-10 two-parter The End of Time, the Tenth Doctor spoke of other factions joining the Time War, including the “Could’ve Been King and his army of Meanwhiles and Neverweres”. Lady of Obsidian writer Andrew Smith delivers a variation on this one-off line, creating the Unlived, hostile beings from a rift in the space/time continuum. While the Unlived, led by the Gollum-like Skaul (Chris Porter), are described by Leela as an even greater threat than the Daleks, they are for the most part unconvincing and one-dimensional. It could be argued the Unlived are meant to be vague beings but that shouldn’t make them caricatures as well. Just as Pretty Lies borrows ideas from the Western trope, so The Lady of Obsidian draws heavily from space opera influences, notably Star Wars and Star Trek. This is evident in the dogfights in space between Dalek saucers and Battle TARDISes, the Doctor’s recruitment of a cocky former soldier-turned-smuggler, a guerrilla group that hides deep in a nebula (not unlike the Maquis in the Trek spin-off Deep Space Nine) and an “evil galactic empire” (the Daleks) intent on crushing all “non-Dalek life”. The final instalment – The Enigma Dimension – is also reminiscent of a Star Trek episode (particularly DS9’s opening episode Emissary). Like The Lady of Obsidian, Nicholas Briggs’ script foreshadows significant concepts in the modern Doctor Who TV series, principally the Dalek containment sphere (or void ship) which graced Torchwood One’s Canary Wharf HQ in Army of Ghosts/Doomsday. The Doctor, with the TARDIS back in his possession and Leela once more at his side, returns to Gallifrey, to be confronted with a potential threat: the extra-dimensional, non-linear Enigma, a life form unlike any he has encountered before. It is no coincidence that the Enigma arrives as reality on Gallifrey starts to shift; there are reports of “phantom Daleks” appearing in the Time Lord Capitol, portending an imminent invasion. Needless to say, the Daleks’ “prime objective” to win the Time War is more ambitious than mere conquest … Briggs – who again voices the Daleks, including their deep-throated Time Strategist – quite rightfully resists the temptation to end The War Doctor saga on a space opera tour de force. Instead, he delivers a script that is quite surreal, ethereal and (excuse the pun) enigmatic – but definitely not to the extent that the listener loses track of the story. Indeed, some of John Hurt’s best work inevitably comes to the fore in The Enigma Dimension, particularly in the climactic confrontation with the Time Strategist. Hurt’s performance is no doubt bolstered by close friend Jacqueline Pearce as Ollistra. As a reluctant sidekick or “helper” (her word for the Doctor’s erstwhile companions over many centuries), the cardinal is the perfect foil for the jaded, cranky War Doctor. No doubt due to her recent travels with the Doctor in Volumes 3 and 4, the character’s disposition has softened since she was first introduced in Only the Monstrous. She even shows signs of altruism. Ollistra passes off defending Grend as being a strategic advantage for Gallifrey that “by a pleasant coincidence … also happens to be the right thing to do”. However, she is also clearly shaken and emboldened enough by Beltox’s fate at the end of the Fairgill engagement to ensure that the Daleks do not repeat their atrocities in the Grend system. Ollistra’s ruthless, calculating streak really comes to the fore in the climax to The Enigma Dimension when, to the Doctor’s disgust, she seizes an opportunity to ultimately turn the Time War in the Time Lords’ favour. Again, Pearce’s performance cannot help but be compared to her Blake’s 7 alter ego Servalan;  regardless she is an outstanding actor. And while this volume has debunked my theory (first postulated in my review of Vol 2) that “the unhappy woman” (as Leela cheekily calls Ollistra) is not a Time War incarnation of former companion Romana, it is great that Pearce’s Ollistra will continue to be a foil in the forthcoming The Eighth Doctor – The Time War series. Aside from Hurt, Pearce and Jameson’s outstanding performances, Volume 4 of The War Doctor saga again provides great performances from some of Big Finish’s lesser known artistes – in particular, Julia Hills as Fairgill’s governor Sera and Lizzy Roper as smuggler Rosata Laxter – as well as excellent sound effects and incidental music from Howard Carter. In The Enigma Dimension, Carter’s blending of the iconic Dalek throbbing sound effect (which dates back to the pepperpots’ very first TV appearance in 1963-4) with the incidental track is particularly inspired and foreboding. It’s a masterstroke that Murray Gold has not even attempted in the modern TV series. While not as memorable as the first three volumes in The War Doctor saga, Casualties of War is nevertheless entertaining and there are plenty of striking moments and performances – not least from Hurt himself. His confrontation with the Time Strategist in the climactic moments of The Enigma Dimension is both humorous and sublime. One moment, the War Doctor is describing the Daleks’ extra-dimensional destructor beam as “startlingly imaginative … Does what it says on the tin, I expect. Hardly surprising from a race of tin cans!” The next he is waxing lyrical about what fear means to him and the Daleks: Perhaps I do fear ... Perhaps I do but not you yourselves. I fear what you can do. Yes, I fear that – the death, the pain, the suffering, the merciless, senseless destruction of … well, everything that isn’t you! Yes, I do fear that. But as for you, the Daleks fear powerlessness, defeat and in everything and everyone you ever encounter, you see your fear staring right back at you! Whilst Hurt’s dialogue is extremely well written by Briggs, it succeeds because of Hurt’s wonderful delivery. Some of his final words as the War Doctor are equally as memorable: We Time Lords have fought too long and too hard to be anything other than warriors … If the Daleks alone were to be destroyed, I think we would find someone else to fight now! I think that’s my real fear – that the war will never end! Sadly, with Hurt’s passing, such wonderful monologues and dialogue is gone forever. It can only be hoped the great man’s departure doesn’t entirely close the door on the War Doctor’s adventures. BF has announced that the next four volumes of the Eighth Doctor’s adventures will focus on the beginnings of the Time War, which should compensate for the vacuum The War Doctor series leaves. However, why couldn’t there be more volumes of The War Doctor in the long-term? Yes, John Hurt won’t be there, but the absences of the actors to play the first three Doctors and Christopher Eccleston’s self-imposed exile from all things Who have not stopped BF delivering further adventures for each of those incarnations. Hurt’s Doctor shouldn’t be an exception, particularly as Ollistra, Leela and Veklin (Beth Chalmers, who appeared in Vol 1 and also makes a cameo in Vol 4) could all play parts in future narratives. Hurt’s passing need not entirely mark the end of what has been a great series – and what better tribute could there be than to continue the adventures of a character whose artiste was so beloved by generations of viewers and who will even be long remembered by some Doctor Who fans as the noblest Doctor of them all? http://reviews.doctorwhonews.net/2017/06/doctor_who_the_war_doctor_vol_4_casualties_of_war.html?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

[brwncns]

“An Invisible Cauldron Of Black Magick” - Jarett Kobek

Turkish-American writer Jarett Kobek’s novel I HATE THE INTERNET has been called a “relentless, cruel, hilariously inflamed satire” (by Greil Marcus), “entertaining” (by the New York Times) and “useful” (by the author). Kobek was compared to Michel Houellebecq as well as a “mad priest”. We asked him about the book and also his novella ATTA, a fictional biographic account of 9/11 attacker Mohamed Atta.

What’s the most common question you are asked about I HATE THE INTERNET?

The question almost every interview starts with is someone saying something like, “Well, we know that you hate the Internet, but is there anything good you can say about it?” This is often tied to the supposed success of the book via chatter on the Internet. 

The book starts and ends with a curse, a death threat, and in-between someone prays to Google and other Internet giants. Is the Internet a spiritual place for you?

I guess it depends on whether or not you consider an invisible cauldron of black magick in services of Necromancers to be “spiritual.” In theory, the necromancy would be predicated on an engagement with spirits and their world, but is the mere presence of the dead “spiritual” in the colloquial sense? Your guess is as good as mine! 

Do you have a favorite meme? 

I like that Scumbag Steve. 

Did you ever write a YouTube comment? 

Never have. Never will. 

There’s a clip of a man getting very agitated at a reading of yours because he can’t understand your position that free expression on Twitter is not possible but rather an illusion, because all the content generated on social media is part of the company making profit. Do you think real political discourse is not possible on these platforms? 

Political discourse is possible, but from the Left, it’s the same kind of discourse that you used to be able to find in cafes in Berkeley and the East Village. Powerless people talking to themselves. What’s new is that whereas before the discourse had a sort of oppositional relationship to our corporate masters, now it serves their financial interest. That guy at the reading in City Lights was right, sort of—he was screaming about there being a Revolution on Twitter. The only problem was that he had the wrong revolution, as he was a Sanders supporter. I think it’s impossible to deny that these platforms are capable of hosting very powerful political dialogues—but only for the Right. After all, Twitter got a cryptofascist elected to the Presidency.

So we generate money, we basically work for Facebook and feed it when we write something there. How is that different to reading an article and the advertisement around it online, or walking through a street with billboards?

The difference, I think, is that the people who created the billboard or wrote the article were, in theory, paid for their efforts. 

Was “Arab Spring” really exploited by companies like Facebook & Twitter in the way that they paid for marketing it as an event they made possible? 

I don’t know if they actually paid for marketing relative to it, but I can assure you that the way the so-called Arab Spring was covered by the news media in the US was as an advertisement for Facebook and Twitter. Google even got in on the cycle when one of their employees was kidnapped. I went to Cairo a few weeks after Mubarak fell and no one mentioned any of these companies. All they talked about was money and how they had none. I did see a Facebook logo spraypainted on the side of a building near Tahrir Square—I assumed the company’s predilection for graffiti artists, they paid someone to put it up. 

How is opposition possible? 

It may not be. We may just have to wait until the people in control get so out of control that they break everything. But it doesn’t hurt to be in opposition—especially if it gets people out of their houses. 

You write that a medium is inhabited by its intention at founding. How did you develop this thought? 

I don’t remember! But I know what must have inspired it: the way that every new technology is presented as a received event, as a foreordained inevitability. Which is really crazy, when you think about it—it suggests that the technology is a fact floating around in the aether, waiting to be discovered, when actually it’s a thing shaped by the perceptions of its creators. It’s a little like a novel—no one receives a novel, everyone knows that someone wrote it. 

Your book is written like it was aimed at a future where the things described have already vanished. Why? 

Writing about the Internet, or technology in general, is a thankless task. Books about the Internet start to rot from the moment of publication. Imagine if I Hate the Internet had been written ten years ago—it’d be a book about MySpace. So there was a strategy cribbed from Kurt Vonnegut’s Breakfast of Champions—to treat every day objects and ideas as if they required definition and explanation. This ended up being both funny and, hopefully, hedges against the future. 

There is also a timeless quality in your novel ATTA, a young man, lost, almost like a Bildungsroman. It’s also a story of psychosis, of madness, with a musical undertone, dark, brooding, funny. I was wondering about some elements, structure-wise, the countdown of chapters, the change of perspective. How did you come to these decisions? 

Most of it was instinctual, just trying to figure out how to make the book as readable as I could. ATTA is a strange book—it’s the best thing I’ve written, but it’s also the one which felt the most like channeling, as if the normal decisions and thoughts in terms of writing were more received than consciously thought out. 

I like how the father talks to his son, treating him like a child. How much of the story was invented, how much was research?

I think ATTA is about 95% factual, and that factuality is very heavily researched. The 5% that’s not factual is pretty clearly fictitious. In terms of the father/son relationship, that’s pretty much based on interviews with his father, where his father admitted that this was how he talked to his son. 

How did you research? Where did you travel, what did you read? Did you actually go to Mecca and to Hamburg? 

I didn’t travel for the book. I didn’t have the money! In terms of the reading, I read everything. Every news article, every book, all the FBI files that got released under an FOIA request that some Truthers put online. Just everything. 

Are you interested in the perspective of Truthers as well? 

No. It’s stupid. But they were useful in doing the book, because they’d put so much of the FBI’s information online. 

How did it feel to write this? To be in his mind? 

It was fine until the last chapter—when I had to start writing the actual hijacking, it was the only time my own writing made me sick. 

Did you have problems with the idea of sympathizing too much with Atta, idolizing or setting a monument to him?

No. I don’t think the book is particularly sympathetic to him—unless you believe, which some people might, that even presenting the individual is inherently sympathetic. 

What interested you more in him than someone who was more of a planner in the background, like let’s say Bin Laden? 

The interesting thing about the historical figure of Mohamed Atta was his educational background—he did his bachelor’s in engineer/architecture, and his master’s in urban planning. His master’s thesis was on the city of Aleppo, and was specifically about what he viewed as the imposition of Western style architecture on an ancient “Islamic-Oriental” city. In effect, he wrote a document that critiqued modernist architecture and then suggested that it be pulled down and destroyed. 

After 9/11, the event was viewed entirely through the prism of Islamic-themed terrorism. But the reality is that Atta wasn’t an imam—he hadn’t even really gone to a madrassa. His training was entirely in architecture, he’d presented this thesis about removing modernist architecture, and then he participated in the biggest attack on modernist architecture in world history. Surely this is a useful prism through which to write about the event? As a matter of architectural critique. 

So that’s where the book came from. 

It seemed Atta wanted to put Aleppo back in some kind of “primary”, more human state when he wrote his thesis – and Manhattan with its rectangular structure and buildings like the WTC is the antipode to this. You also mention Yamasaki’s failed housing project. And in both novels, there’s this theme of gentrification, of a changing city (Aleppo, San Francisco). What interests you about that? 

By virtue of being overprivileged, I’ve spent pretty much my entire adult life in American cities that are either in the process of being gentrified or have been gentrified. When I moved to New York, I was 17 and it was still fairly grimy in the East Village, and I was young enough to believe that this was a permanent state, that the East Village would always be scummy and interesting. Reality disabused me of that notion and I’ve been dealing with the wound ever since. 

Where do you live now? 

I’m back in Los Angeles. My solution to gentrification was to move to a neighborhood originally built for the gentry. 

How has the book been received? 

It did well at first, was then ignored for a few years, and then got picked up by academics, who seem to like writing about it and teaching it. So it’s had a very nice life and sells reasonably well for a small press book. It’s gone into several printings. 

ATTA was published by MIT, if I see that correctly, an institution that, as you describe it in your latest novel, develops arms for the military. How do you feel about that? 

The book was published by Semiotext(e), who are distributed by MIT Press, so it’s a little more complicated than saying that they published it. In terms of my feeling, I think the act of being published by almost anyone but yourself is an act of moral compromise, but that one accepts the reality of the situation and goes forward. 

Do you see yourself as an angry young man? 

I’m past the age where I can comfortable call myself young. But I’m definitely angry. 

I HATE THE INTERNET / ICH HASSE DIESES INTERNET: 

http://weheardyoulikebooks.com/releases/i-hate-the-internet/ 

http://www.fischerverlage.de/buch/ich_hasse_dieses_internet_ein_nuetzlicher_roman/9783103972603 

ATTA:

https://mitpress.mit.edu/books/atta 

Questions: Nikias Chryssos. Picture: Courtesy of Jarett Kobek.