#i really do have more thoughts but these are what's coherent at the mo

[soshadysoquiet]

TUA S4 thoughts.

Below, spoilers.

Okay. Lord gonna need some strength to get through this coherently.

Basics first:

The Music: Maybe 2-3 good songs. Dissapointing. Let's talk of a mo about Baby Shark: to me it wasn't funny, the song being such a social media present one in this world really took me out of the show. Yes sure the funnies of parents having to listen to kid music and them being stuck that way but I really wish they'd taken the time to make an original annoying jingle. TUA is usually such a delight for the ears that this hurt me bad! Plus they then kept changing whether the song was on or off, seemed like Diego could control it somewhat, but then why would he turn it back on for them riding into the final battle?

The Dialogue: Felt forced and cheap in places. They can use the word 'fuck' now and seem to therefor have decided they don't need to make the characters have witty insults for each other.

The 'Themes' of the show: Why has my quirky family drama been turned into a 90's romance film. Who asked for this. No.

The "Plot": When your own characters don't care about the plot for the sake of shindigs you think will be more entertaining then you know you fucked up. It made sense the first 2 series them having side quests. Less so in the third. Even less so now. Literally at times they had to say to each other 'oh yeah shouldn't we find Ben?' I'll be here in the corner raisining. Also they came up with these 'stages' for the apocalypse but had one guy throw up, a couple things go boom and then they merge, it was one of the least threatening depictions of apocalypse I've seen - though that could be that it wasn't shot in very interesting ways.

Also side note for why there were so many shots that started upside down and rotated? Like I get if Klaus is upside down, and yeah the umbrellas are inside out, but it (plus the Bennifer monster) gave me too many stranger things vibes.

Now the sub-cast:

Jennifer: Love that for 1/2 the protagonist of the apocalypse she had little to no love put into her character, I legit kept forgetting her and Ben were part of the storyline. I loved that she was birthed from the squid, but why put something eerie and cool like that in and make it have meant nothing? Such a waste.

The villains [Gene, Jean and Abigail/Psy(sp?)]: Whilst I liked the idea of memories infecting the timeline, literally all of these guys was Tell don't Show. And for a series with only six episodes I do not want my time wasted with some side-character villains getting a dance number over the main cast. Despicable. Also there were WAY too many villains here especially if you then also count Reggie as one. Literally make Jennifer be trying to link up with Ben and coercing him (then Viktor could break through to him briefly from past experience of a similar relationship - the symmetry is nice) and have Abbigail be pulling the strings. There were so many side characters of no import that I lost track of the main cast. Hell, make Kenny's Mom be the bad guy I'd have loved that! Also, I like that Abigail was somewhat evil, but then they tried to make her good too? No thank you. Pick a lane not everybody needs redemption.

Special RIP to Diego and Lila's twins that Never Even Got Names 💀 fucking hell that's lazy ass writing.

Now the main cast:

Viktor: He deserved better, why bother to introduce that he's had a girlfriend, slept through the entire town, and owns a bar when you then don't talk about any of it. He's told to 'grow up' it's so specific, what does it mean? Also since last we saw he was the sort of ride or die for his love type (with both Leonard and Sissy) this is a frustrating turn with no explanation. Also his whole fight with Reggie and getting things off his chest arc felt forced and not as well written to me. And his character seemed to have been given zero changes from the last 6 years. I miss when his powers actually had a sound element to them rather than just, Havoc from X Men hands. You're taking the Viktor out of my Viktor.

Allison: We have no explanation of how she and Klaus found each other and fell in together. No info of how she and Reggie parted ways. We only hear that 'Ray left her' and nothing else. She says no one wants her at the party but then seems to know Gracie? Has she talked with Any of them since? Nothing was addressed from the end of last season, or even referred to being addressed in the past. I don't see the point of her new powers, or any of them having slightly off or new powers when then some of them don't? Either way, her rumours are so classic and now she's floating people? I see the link and if they'd been developing new powers over 6 years fine but no. You're taking the Allison out of my Allison.

Luther: Praise be, I did like Luther this season. He mentioned Sloane (shock horror, a love interest from a time gone by being brought up?!?! In TUA!!??) he was cracking me up and was really being Best Boy. Although I felt a lot of his dialogue was flat, and it seemed really out of character for him to start attacking the piñata? I don't think we've ever seen him physically lash out unless angry? It looked to me like 'oh yeah here's another silly gimmick that will be a haha. Diego, sure. Luther, no. They also decided (not surprised but always so disappointed) to make him getting ape-i-fied again humorous and not the soul destroying thing it would be. Also, why was he ape-i-fied??? His ape-ness came from the serum not the marigolds? Generally though, I really did enjoy him this season.

Diego: Love that we're throwing every over used marriage-in-pieces trope in the book at these two. Love that. Especially as they seemed to have sorted out some of their communication issues. I get their trajectories but was so deeply, Deeply bored watching it. Diego was sadly pretty dislikable for the whole season, which was real sad because I had grown to love him. There were some funny moments don't get me wrong, he's got too much personality to be a boring character, but whilst they didn't have to have a perfect marriage it was so dull and in hindsight such an obvious set up for the bleh that was to come. Plus they threw in a 'don't make me turn this car around' type moment to show how 'he's a parent now look wow' but I can't imagine any of the siblings hearing that and not laughing at him.

Lila: Again, marriage and wrong-conclusions and it was so boring. She's such a fun character and she was reduced to 'ooo how can we make her be a cheater and with Five' Why do you even need to do that? I just feel sad about it. And it doesn't help that we Don't Know Two Of Her Kids Names and neither her nor Diego seem to think of them for however long they're on the road, and she mentions them only once in the 7years of subway hell and both of them seem relatively undistressed without them. Sure, parents do need a break, but if you don't care about the kids visibly you know for sure I the audience member ain't gonna. Also why the eye lasers save for again a brief gag? It makes no sense when she then also has mimics abilities?

Claire: Let's give Claire a side note at this point. I do so hate it when shows decide to make children their parent's brains and moral compasses, take little to no time to show any bond between parent and child until the last 2 episodes, and instead choose to spend that time showing us how naturally fractious a relationship they have. Love that, so much. Never seen it before really. I get it's normal, but when ever other part of the show is cookie cutter predictable I don't need this too. Give her an actual personality that isn't "the wise old rebellious teenager"

Ben: Wow. So glad that A) I had to hear a character explain crypto currency for me, so glad we wasted precious time of a 6 episode series on that. B) Ben had changed 0%. C) that he had Even Less input and impact at the end emotionally than in any previous season and this one was About Him! And do you know why? Because D) they basically used star-crossed-lovers-can't-help-ourselves and made him use every creepy stalker OTT moving way too fast line in the books especially when Jennifer at a lot of moments was verbally saying she wasn't into it.. Also why does he talk about her like he's a 12 yr old and, idk, it was a shame to have no real impact from him until the end when he's suddenly scared and pushing Viktor away to save him but we see no connection from him and Viktor previously as to why he'd listen it would make more sense if it had been Klaus or Luther at this point.

Klaus: Now, I know a lot of his storyline this season came from the comic, and sure it's good material, that should probably have been used Throughout the seasons rather than crammed into 1 day. But let's chat for a hot mo: Now I like that we got to see him be nasty rather than the precious uwu Klaus that I've been guilty of perceiving at times, and that we see some of the negative effects of addiction on the family for the first time. Great moments, important. BUT. I'd have felt his rage out at Allison and turn to drugs would have been a lot more impactful if they'd bothered to show him waking up to the sound of being screamed at, barely able to hear his siblings, struggling to focus on them and wanting to drown it out. But we don't get that, the horror of what this means for him. Then we proceed to got through this whole let's have him want to get shot by a drug dealer (don't quite get why - or how Claire knows he's immortal now? did the powers back thing ever come up??) have him kidnapped and forced to prostitute himself, take more drugs (but still use his powers?) Develop a new power though without using the comic's fun quirk that he has to take his shoes off, and then bury him alive. Wow. this guy had plenty going on, but sure. Then -he can save himself, I thought this might become something poignant - he's able to conjure the dog to Go to Allison and lead them there, but no, he just gets rescued again. Gee I wonder what grave he's in Mom? All I don't know Claire, how about the Only One That's Been Dug Up? I thought it was really interesting to see his moments as a teen with Allison, and how he was living with her and thought they handled the worry about death/germs etc thing well tbf. Though also how the hell did he get home from being 13 hrs away and why nobody cared to go with him was pretty low.

Five: Dear lord that moustache was awful and I'm glad they all called it creepy and he had no concept. I despise 2 things they did here: made it canon that he gets romantic with Lila. Made going back into the literal apocalypse that he spent time having flashbacks about barely if at all affect him - it's unsure if his hesitation going back into it the second time was hesitation to go in there, and that's what I hoped they would do, but then, no. no. Please, Pleeaasse don't take away this nice, safe space I had in this nice, safe 'you literally can't sexualise him with anyone it would be so problematic' character and say 'they held out 7 years but yeaaahhh they hook up.' don't see why it was needed. It didn't 'heal' him, it was a plot for conflict but I've got plenty of other conflict plots that can end with Lila and Diego fighting without having to make every damn character have a god damn love interest! I loved their bond before, it was so fun and special to see a male and female not have to fall in love, and they ruined it. And it was for nothing? And they didn't have time to make the 7 years feel like 7 years and it was lazy writing for cheap conflict in my opinion. I hated it, I hate that it's "canon". I don't think I can describe just how awful I found it and unnecessary. I also don't buy that Five would be willing to not drink the marigolds as much as the others, or that there would be a timeline full of given up fives that sit around a diner. It was fun to watch though. And up until they started the montage in the subway and we knew where it was going I was enjoying Five in this season. that boy has had such a shit life and this is how it ends?

I will say that the flashback to them as kids was my favourite part of this series. It's always good to have a little deeper insight into how they interacted as children but I do have some Opinions here too of course: Reggie saying 'you look ridiculous' to Viktor, no, he made their outfits? I felt that was lazy writing when Reggie in the past has laid into Viktor's insecurities much more keenly: 'That outfit is only for your brothers and sisters / we've been over this, you're not special take it off / I will not have you wasting time with frivolity when the Academy has important work to do, leave us." etc. Also I thought there might be something different about why they all forgot their Ben memories. It was brutal yes, which I appreciated, but I can't believe that these guys wouldn't see their father kill their brother and not One of them flip their shit? Idk, it was a little... good and bad I guess.

I think that's it for now, if anyone read this far then well done! I might write a fix it post in a bit for my own entertainment.

[slightlyunconventional]

its 2am and op needs sleep (2.1k)

hi d/abihawks nation here is your food for the day (more to come in the foreseeable) aaand yeah. this is from an ask i got that i didn’t answer with this because it had three parts to it and i wanted to actually do all three ?? idk. anyway if youre the anon who asked for d/abi inducing with his piercings then this is for you :)

The fuck kind of time to wake up is this? Dabi thought, squinting at the digital alarm clock beside the bed. 4:16AM, it reads. Still dazed, he rolled over with a huff and got ready to go the fuck back to sleep - until it hit him.

“Jesus fucking Christ-” he hissed, as an itch that felt like wildfire crashed into his sinuses like a freight train, rendering him unable to form a coherent thought for a good few seconds. He sat up. The motion somehow made the burn triple in intensity. He scrunched up his nose forcefully, waiting for it to succumb, for the itch to peak, but it didn’t. It felt like it was taking over his entire face, an incessant buzzing that wouldn’t back down, half-closing his eyes and forcing him to keep his nose held in a permanently-crinkled position. Dabi dared to rub at it, knuckles pushing back and forth rather aggressively, and instantly regretted what he’d done. The contact seemed to set alight a million different nerve endings, and he decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck me,” Dabi managed to breathe out. He stood up and made his way to the bathroom, the whole way squinting against the inferno plaguing his nose. The burn was near unbearable now, like flames licking at the tender inner walls of his nostrils, yet still nothing came of it. Even switching on the horrendously bright bathroom light in Hawks’ apartment, which usually managed to tease a sneeze or two from him, had no effect. Christ, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Eyes narrowing further due to the harsh transition from dark to light, Dabi moved to the sink and turned on the faucet. With a deep breath in, he splashed the cold water on his face a few times, and gave his full face a rather aggressive scrub with both hands for good measure. He stood up to find it had done absolutely nothing, and now he just had a wet face. Awesome. Why, for the love of fuck, was this happening? he thought in frustration. Could it have picked a more inconvenient time?

He grabbed a towel and dried off his face, rubbing with particular force at his nose (though still keeping low expectations that it would actually make a damn difference). The itch burned with ferocity, but remained stagnant; Dabi just wished it would either do something or piss off. For a man who normally despised sneezing - everything about it, the feeling, the loss of control, the vulnerability of it all - he seemed pretty desperate to do it now. He was running out of options, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to go wake up Hawks and make him stick a feather up his nose. There was probably a box of tissues in here, somewhere, he was sure, judging by how awful Hawks’ allergies got in the spring… bingo. It didn’t take long to find, just a few moments of staring into the medicine cupboard with one hand knuckling absently at the side of his nose. The dark-haired man pulled a few from the box, irritated, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. The ever-present itch had his nostrils practically pulsing with need, and a handful of tissues suddenly pushed up to his nose really didn’t help. Hell, it was almost stinging now, and it was torturous.

“Shit,” Dabi breathed, as he began to rub his nose in slow, deliberate circles through the tissues. The sensation was all-consuming - he became completely laser-focused on the way the itch prickled ever so slightly with his movements. It was like the light at the end of a tunnel. He just had to will it to rise in intensity, just enough to make him– “...h-hhuh!” His breath caught, even if only slightly. Fuck, he was close, so damn close. In his mind he was begging for it, for relief, and he daren’t even move, for fear of losing the– damn it. The sting backed down just as quickly as it had come about, forcing Dabi to let out the breath he was holding in a short, irritated sigh. He couldn’t just go back to bed, not while this itch was still wreaking havoc in his face. But, it wasn’t like he had many choices left. The only thing he knew that really set him off was cats, and he was fairly sure bathrooms didn’t come preinstalled with a litter of kittens. Stubborn as ever, he refused to just give up and go sleep again - but what could he really do? Sit and wait it out, hoping it would just go away? Or go back to trying to make himself- hold on. Dabi suddenly remembered the absolute mess he’d been when he first pierced his nose (in this very bathroom, as a matter of fact). The needle had hardly been halfway through the cartilage before his chest was stuttering with rapid hitching breaths that had very quickly turned into fits of desperately itchy (and bloody) sneezes, untameable to the point where he had no input in the, well, output. He’d simply had to sit and let them barrel through him in awful tickly waves. He didn’t know why he’d sat through three rounds of that just for a triple nose piercing. One would have been plenty. 

Dabi pushed himself up from the edge of the bath, binned his tissues, and moved back to the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, running a tired hand over his face and sighing. His hand brushed lightly against the side of his nose, sending jolts up his sinuses, and he decided he couldn’t tolerate another second of such torment. The thought to pierce his nose again flitted briefly through Dabi’s mind, but was quickly dismissed. Imagine how that would go down. “Hey, you’ve got another piercing,” Hawks would say. “Oh, yeah, I had to sneeze really fucking badly last night so I did what any sane person would do - gave myself a fourth nose piercing!” Dabi rolled his eyes at the thought. He went for the next best thing - messing around with his current piercings to try and make something happen.

He leaned in closer to the bathroom mirror, well aware that he looked an absolute sight for sore eyes, red-rimmed nostrils and an oversized t-shirt hanging awkwardly around his frame proving an… interesting combination. Christ, what am I doing, he thought, as he took a silver stud between his fingers and began to twist it - and, hell, the effect was instantaneous. Immediately, the tickle reared its head, intensified tenfold from before, and all but consumed him. There was nothing he could do to stop his jaw from slackening, his eyes from fluttering shut, his nostrils from flaring to nearly twice their size– “Shit, shit, s-shiihh–!”

Breaths rising in his chest, pitchy and desperate, Dabi let out a string of curses and stumbled backward, almost losing his balance as the need to sneeze took over him such that he couldn’t possibly think about anything else. He braced a hand against the edge of the sink to keep upright, drew in an immense gasp, and pitched forward at the waist– “hh’hhahH’DDSHHhhew! Hohhh, God, fuck me…” The sneeze that followed was harsh, scraping, and instantly relieving. But Dabi soon found that he was nowhere near done, and snapped forward with a trio of back-to-back sneezes, equally intense as the first.

“huhH’HDJJSHHh! ‘gGKSHHh’uh! hah’DSHHh’iew!” He straightened up to try and catch his breath, but his nose tingled in a way which meant there was guaranteed to be more sneezing to come. He was about to cast his gaze up to the light fixture on the ceiling to try and coax it out prematurely, until he saw a glimpse of red in his peripheral vision - Hawks. Shit. How long had he been standing there? Dabi looked at him, unsure of what to say. The hero was sure to have a barrage of questions for him, he could already imagine it: Are you getting sick? Allergic to something? Oh my god–is it me? Did I use a new… something? I’m so sorry, are you okay? He was leaning on the doorframe in a loose-fitting shirt that Dabi had sacrificed (cut holes in the back of to accommodate Hawks’ wings) and wearing an expression that was a blend of sympathy and amusement. Dabi opened his mouth to speak.

“Bless you,” Hawks said, with a lopsided smile, before Dabi had the chance to say anything.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean t-to… wake you up,” he replied. Fuck, he still needed to sneeze.

Hawks exhaled a little laugh. “It’s okay. You were sneezing pretty damn loudly, it would have been hard not to.” He took a few steps forward and wrapped his hands around Dabi’s arm, absentmindedly rubbing tiny circles with his thumbs.

“Are you okay?” he asked, more of that sympathy now shining through. As predicted, questions. “Yeah, I– fuck, I-I, hhah– needtosneezeagaiihHGKSHHhew!” He sniffled, then used his free hand to rub his nose, hard. “No idea what it is, just… started.” At least it was partially true. He did have no idea what it was, but he wasn’t about to admit to Hawks that he’d actually been trying to make himself sneeze for the best part of half an hour. Hawks frowned. “Bless you,” he said again. “You aren’t sick? A cold, maybe?” There it was again. “No, dumbass, it’s May.” “Who says you can’t get colds when it’s not winter? I get colds when it’s not winter!” Hawks said indignantly. Dabi huffed a laugh. “Yeah, that’s you though. Your immune system’s shi-sh-hhahH’dDTSHHh’uh! Shit.” “Shut up,” Hawks said, swatting his arm. “Sounds pretty itchy.” Dabi pulled a face at that. “Sounds itchy? How can– how– Jesus, fuck, always when I’m trying to t-talk…” “Bless you-!” Hawks said prematurely, tipping his head to the side. “-hhHRRSHHHhew!” The smile on Hawks’ face widened. God, Dabi had thought this would just be one and done, but now he couldn’t seem to stop. It was as if he’d opened some metaphorical floodgates in his sinuses just by twisting his nose studs a bit, and released sneeze after terribly violent sneeze. It would be infinitely easier to deal with without his overly enthusiastic witness, that was for certain. He couldn’t say it wasn’t at least a little endearing, though, in some bizarre way. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sneeze this much before,” observed Hawks, in such a tone that made the statement sound like it was some earth shattering discovery (It wasn’t. Dabi was eternally thankful that Hawks had never bore witness to the explosive fits he got when cats were part of the equation).

From behind the hand scrubbing at his still-burning nose, Dabi raised an eyebrow. “Right…?” he said slowly, “Is that supposed to h-hah–!” This was getting ridiculous. He pinched his nose tightly, brows furrowed and eyes nearly shut. Absolutely not. “There’s no point holding it in now that I’m awake, you know,” Hawks said, a mildly teasing tone creeping into his voice. “Just wanna get a full f-fucking… hhuh– sentence out-! hh’ehHDSZZHhew! h-hhH’RSCHhh’uh!” “Bless you, bless you,” Hawks moved closer towards Dabi, evidently starting to feel drowsy again after having been out of bed, judging by the way he rubbed lazily at his eyes with one hand. “What were you gonna say?” “What?” “Before you sneezed again. What were you gonna say?” Dabi averted his eyes. “I don’t remember.” Hawks snickered quietly. “S’okay… you gonna come back to bed? I’m getting cold,” he said, his head now resting on Dabi’s arm. “Not your personal heater,” was the response, punctuated with an irritated sniffle. Hawks shook his head. “Whatever.”

“Even so, I don’t think you’d really want, well…” Dabi gestured vaguely at his face. He didn’t particularly want to say it out loud. “I don’t mind,�� the hero replied softly, “I just want you to get some sleep. Besides, the pink nose is a cute look on you.” He added the last part with a wink, and it earned him a rather affronted scoff and a flick to the forehead. “Fine, let me just–” Dabi pulled a couple of tissues from the box and blew his nose with some force. It seemed to shift something high in his sinuses, which of course triggered a sneeze. The floodgates really had opened. “hh’hehHDDSHHhiew! Jesus Christ, can’t catch a break…” Hawks hummed. “Bless you,” he mumbled again, before starting to lead Dabi out of the bathroom and back to their bed. He paused, however, halfway to the door, and turned around. With a nod towards the tissue box on the counter, he said, “You’d better bring those with you.”

[madrone33]

THE WISDOM SAGA IS OUT AHHHH

It was SO much better than I anticipated. Like, I knew it'd be amazing to listen to - 'cause practically all of Jorge's stuff is - but I was less attached to Telemachus as a character than Ody, so while I was settled in for a fun time I wasn't as invested as I had been for the previous sagas.

Little. Did. I. Know.

HOW DO THE SAGAS JUST KEEP BEING SO GOOD LIKE WHAT JORGE DO YOU SLEEP

Anyway, now that it's officially out for everyone, here's 1000+ words worth of excited screeching/rambling/word vomit from my immediate reaction to the audio, when it released at midnight for me! (I'm australian, so I got it 15 hours ahead of the americans lol, but also means I hadn't seen the animatics from the Live at this point)

Also, heads up there's a lot of swearing and I wasn't very coherent, 'cause my brain-to-type filter was non-existent at midnight while in the middle of a HYPE adrenaline rush lol

I feel so awake rn, even though it's midnight lol.

Started smiling as soon as I heard him. He sounds so GOOD!! MICO you're knocking it out of the park!

"Come and give me a sign!" Ayyy the Athena motif!!

Ooh they merged MICO's audition way of saying "if you're dead... or just tooo far"!

"Can I do whatever I takes to keep my mum safe?" aww don't worry bebe Athena's coming!

"Where is the man who'll have to wife?" ooh they really did use the Man of the House lines!

And they dropped that it's been 20 years! That's good, a proper timeline needed to be established at this point or newcomers might get confused.

ohhh shit! That growled "Boy!"

(Also, edit from after I watched the Livestream: HE DID NOT JUST THROW A BOWL AT MY BOY OH HELL NO-)

"Why don't you open her room so we can" oh FUCK OFF ANTINOUS!

oh the LINE! The CHAMP line!

"If I fight this monster" THS MONSTER! It changed from those monsters to this monster, because while he might be having fun thinking of conquering distant monsters out in the world, the real monster is living in his home and he needs his father's strength more than ever and AHHH

(Another edit from post Live: he decided to fight for his mum's honour and thought he'd get a beatdown or DIE in the attempt and STILL put his fists up oh my goddd!! And also, HIM STEPPING INTO THE SPIRIT OF HIS FATHER AHHH)

Ok I hate Antinous already. Like, I really love his voice, it's perfect, Ayron did amazing, but Antinous? What the FUCK! FUCK HIM! And I decided I love Telemachus. He sounds so helpless in that last line 🥺 ATHENA STEP IN!

Listening to Little Wolf now! Oh god I'm scared for Tele

(Edit post Live: YOOO IT'S FULL ON STREET FIGHTER STYLE!)

"Wanna entertain me?" oh EW Antinous!

I just have a permanent stink face on rn lol

"Wanna entertain me?" Still ew, but also aww he didn't do the growl like in the demo

Clock sound effect! ATHENA!!!

she's giving TE/MO type vocal vibes, more than Act 1 Athena lol

"What's going on here??" lmao he's confused about Quick-Thought, like ody wasn't

"Uppercut him. Now." AYYYY FIGHT ADVICE

she's doing the verse melody but for him!

wait what'd she say? "I've no respect for bullies! Those who [something something] will!"

SHE CALLED HIM A DOG HA! What's a dog to a wolf hey antinous >:)

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined!" awww Athena <3

YES!! SHE'S SINGING THE CHORUS BUT IN HIS FAVOUR!!

the HARMONIES!!

"Oooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard..." lol she's too used to ody who is used to her

oh FUCK OFF antinous!

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid..." wait WAIT HE SUNG THE "what keeps you up so late at night myyy friend?" MELODY??? HOLY SHIT!!

Ok that was awesome. We'll Be Fine time!

SHE CALLED ODY HER FRIEND!!

OMG SHE'S DOING THE "MIIIND" RIFF!!

awww she regrets <3

NO THE "SLEEP AT NIGHT" CALLING BACK TO ALL THOSE TIME ODY COULDN'T SLEEP FROM REGRET

omg but her HIGH notes

ooh? 👀 The line changed from "sailed to an island" to "and I didn't die?? What does this mean for HTD's "I heard he's on a diplomatic mission" line?

oh now HIS high notes!!

THEIR HARMONIES!!

awww their motifs mixing! <3 <3

(Edit post Live: lmao him trying to lean on her shoulder and accidentally falling through her instead XD)

Well that was nice! Time for LIP... What am I in for bro

AHA I was RIGHT! The music from the cover art reveal IS here at the start of this song!

OH HOLY HSIT NOT HIS "REMEMBER ME" OMG WAIT GO BACK

The "ohhhh" motif from Remember Them!

TIME DIVE! WITH LYRICS!

oh yo! THESE scenes! We called the Sirens, Scylla, and Thunder Bringer on the discord, but the lines that are being used are INTERESTING

(Edit post Live: the animatics are going CRAZY this saga!)

calypso time...

Ooh calypso's voice is much gentler than the snippets! (I'm determined to not let my bias against her character in the Odyssey colour how I feel about her performance, because Wangui is a lovely person, and her voice is beautiful.)

lmao the awkwardly long pause and then "... ANWAYS!" is always funny XD

the electronic elements when she reveals what she is!

"Time can take a heavy toll." uh oh what's that mean

Damn not the "all I hear are screams"-

...

... holy fuck. Um. My jaw literally dropped what. What. Ok first, her "ody" fuck that. Second, the LEDGE?? Um. UM. I need to rewind please

Oh shit

Oh my goddd JUST LET HIM GO

NOT THE OPEN ARMS NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT POLITES OMG EURYLOCHUS OH FUCK ANTICLEA TOO OH SHIT

no him calling for athena! 😭

the slow clock omgggg

YES GO HELP HIM HE NEEDS HELP

... wait I need to rewind wait shit I'm shaking

ok. Pause. That was.

I guess I called correctly, but it turned out to be a BIT of an understatement when I said there'd be an UNEXPRECTED EMOTIONAL MOMENT! What the FUCK. Oh god that was incredible and I teared up and ah fuck wtf fuck who gave him the RIGHT

TIme for God Games. Shit. Am I ready for Beast Mode Zeus??? No. But I'm doing it anyway! :D

ok that was beautiful. Also her calling him "father" was unexpected but welcome

"... Odysseus." commander motif!!

god I love his voice but I hate him

ok I love how he says "AphroDITE!" I'm smiling, I'm getting into this

also, wait why does he say "or" instead of "and" like the snippets did?

The voice teasers! Ah shit I can't believe I'm going to HEAR THEIR VERSES IN A FEW SECONDS WHAT. Also Hera's voice is VERY interesting!

Apollo? YO?? Wait wait I have to go back and actually listen to the words lmao his voice is cool!

oh the sirens??

Huh. I... don't really get that logic? Athena just said "yeah but they had it coming and now they'll know better" and he replied "understandable have a nice day"?

wow what is that accent? Lemme go back and understand lol

damn those went by quick. Also, not what I'd thought their issues would be. Tho I think someone called the sirens one!

ooh wait I've always loved aphrodite's, this is BEAUTIFUL. I need to go back to the start of the song so I can get her full impact after pausing so much.

ohhh she's the first one to reject athena!

Ares!!

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND!"oop you done fucked up ares

oh I LIKE hera's voice! It's kinda airy but still hella powerful!

damn my jaw hurts from smiling

I hear cheering 👀

ohhh THAT'S what he meant by "or"! Athena was supposed to face either the five gods or Zeus?

"You DARE to defy me!" DAMN Zeus! That growl!

THUNDER BRINGER CHORUS!

lightning bolt to the face lmao

oh? The Wotm motif?

wait. Is the. Is this the "anime character on brink of death thinks of their friends and powers up" moment???

(Edit post Live: shit, zeus. Someone call CPS)

"Let him go..." oh wait that's IT?? NO WHAT SHIT

... lemme hear that end bit again.

WAIT reading through the comments and JORGE'S DAD VOICES HEPHAESTUS?? HOLY SHIT THAT'S EPIC! Now we just need his sister lol.

Oh that's right, I can see the cast now! Brandon McInnis as Apollo, POSEY as Hera, and Mike Rivera as Hephaestus. Nice.

It's 1 am now. Holy shit that was a wild ride. Damn. Hats off to Jorge and all the cast and editors and EVERYONE, that was absolutely incredible!! 💙🙌🏼🎉

... but also JORGE! WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE-

[gffa]

Ok over on the discord we're invested in your 9-1-1 journey and agree 100% with your assessments, but we NEED to hear your thoughts on Mr. Eddie Diaz, esp his introduction, like I still cackle that this weewoo show actually introduced a new character half-naked in slow-mo with "Whatta Man" playing in the background (and I'm sure you've figured this out but it's him and Buck that's the giant ship).

I have struggled to put my 911 thoughts into coherence because there are two giant blaring sirens going off in my brain whenever I think about this series: 1) 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 ANGELA BASSETT🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 How am I supposed to care about anything else on this show when Angela Bassett is there, being stunning and delivering a performance that's top tier every single time??? Okay, I'm being tongue-in-cheek about it, but genuinely Athena is my favorite character and the one I'm most emotionally invested in, the one that it's hard for me to look away from. It helps that I'm also deeply fond of Peter Krause because I watched Sports Night and loved him in that a lot, so connecting Bobby to Athena's story has been a double shot of my faves. 2) I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I'M SURE THEY DON'T MEAN IT BUT WHAT IS UP WITH THE WAY THEY ARE STRUCTURING THE BUDDIE DYNAMIC? Introducing a character with "Whatta Man" playing is hilarious, but even more hilarious to me is the way their arcs are kind of thematically running parallel to each other. Buck's whole character arc is about him feeling finally ready to grow up, to take on the scary parts of relationships that include responsibilities towards other people and being genuinely emotionally available, that was the entire point of getting close to Abby, who came with her sick mother that was always going to be part of her life. So, Abby leaves, then along comes Eddie who has a kid that he takes his responsibilities for very seriously, where it's not intentional to intersect with Buck's arc, but then they have them immediately interacting in a way that neither character does as much with any other character, conflicting at first, but then opening up and being real with each other and I'm sitting here going, "If one of these dudes was a lady, the way Buck just stared at Eddie with his kid, they would 100% be signally that this was building subtext." I can't say I'm deeply emotionally invested in them yet (see my Angela Bassett Problem), but it's been a wild ride watching them interact and going, wow, are they doing this on purpose? Because they sure clicked really fast. *eyebrow raise* Bonus thoughts: I knew Chimney/Maddie was going to be a thing beforehand, so do I like them because they're cute or because I was primed for them? Who knows, but they're cute! I love that they brought back Tatiana and I have to say, maybe she was kinda cold, but I was 100% on her side, because she was right. She didn't love him and if she'd gotten pulled into that, she'd have been expected to drop her entire life to be at his bedside and that's not what she wanted, I love that the show was so gentle with her and Chimney's reunion and realization that they sparked each other into realizing they each needed to get on a new path. I love that Hen got to be complicated and almost left her ex to die because it would have saved her a lot of hassle and she really hated her, but ultimately was a hero, yesssss, let queer women be complicated, messy, and ultimately heroic!

[miixz]

Okay this will be rambly as it's been too long since I've tried to put my thoughts in a coherent meta sort of thing, but I've come to the conclusion I might like how the whipping is treated in erha.

(for anyone following the official english release, beware of spoilers ahead)

It was something that threw me off at first and made me doubt I'd ever really like Chu Wanning, I even compared him to Shen Jiu around that time, but looking back at it having read erha in its entirety I can look at it with a different perspective.

While I do like how having Chu Wanning whip Mo Ran so early on helps present him as the terrible teacher of Mo Ran's altered memories and deceive the reader, I think it's also an interesting side of him as a character that he did that in the first place. To me, it seems that Chu Wanning is one of the people who have bought into the myth of physical punishment which seems to exist in his society. It's not a belief shared by everyone, Mo Ran certainly doesn't buy into it, but it isn't a belief Chu Wanning seems to have taken from within himself or even one that he fully agrees with. 

There are rules on Sisheng Peak which include whipping as a punishment, we see this as the system Chu Wanning uses as a guideline to base his decisions on, not only for Mo Ran but himself as well. His punishments aren't chosen entirely on a whim. 

Chu Wanning looked up to shoot him a glare. The Jiel�� Elder shut up. “In accordance with the rules, the punishment for this transgression is two hundred strikes, three days of protracted kneeling in Yanluo Hall, and three months of confinement,” Chu Wanning stated. “I do not dispute the transgression, and I am prepared to receive the punishment.” Dumbfounded, the Jielü Elder glanced left and right, then curled his finger. The doors to the Discipline Court closed with a thud, leaving only the two of them standing face-to-face in the silence. “What is the meaning of this?” said Chu Wanning. “How do I say this… Yuheng Elder, it’s not like you don’t know—the rules may be rules, but they don’t really apply to you. The doors are closed; this stays between you and I. What say we just let it slide? If I actually strike you and the sect leader finds out, he’ll have my old hide.” Chu Wanning didn’t feel like wasting his breath, so he simply said, “I hold others to the rules, and I will hold myself to the same.”

Now, that doesn't excuse him, I wouldn't say that's what the story is trying to say and I'm not either. It's more that to me that's part of what makes it forgivable when to other characters it isn't.

There are characters like Madam Yu from MDZS who are clearly using that punishment excessively and unnecessarily, out of cruelty, which I can't forgive. Chu Wanning, however, I'd say is more misguided, which earns him a different approach.

Although he doesn't look remorseful when we first see him whip Mo Ran, we learn later that he was and tried to make up for it in his own awkward way. One of Chu Wanning's most defining traits is his immaturity (in my interpretation anyhow), he is a man that was raised not to be his own person and hasn't been living with others for all that long and it shows.

Huaizui seems to only have taught Chu Wanning shallowly, to the point of lying about the state of the world outside, because he was never meant to be his own person who has complex relationships with others. It makes sense though, why would he do that when Chu Wanning was only a vessel for someone else's soul?

So when it comes to making those difficult decisions, like how to discipline his disciples, he is sometimes lacking and refers to the guidelines that he has. With whipping being an acceptable punishment in his sect and his own issues with anger, I see how he arrived at that punishment at times.

It's an awful thing to do, but I like how it's a mistake that humanizes him and explores his upbringing and the places where he falls short.

And Chu Wanning himself knows, on some level, that this is the wrong way to go. That's why he feels guilty and makes Mo Ran wontons to apologize, but he lacks the ability to choose another course of action, most likely because he's never been taught how.

(And this is something that he does improve on somewhat throughout the book, especially in regards to how he treats Mo Ran, who challenges him to think about these difficult questions and to work on his emotions the most.)

In the end, I think Chu Wanning is someone who truly wants to be a good teacher and a good person that help others, which he does often achieve, but sometimes he is held back from that by his own shortcomings which themselves are connected with the ways in which he's been failed by others (especially those who were meant to care for him).

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 1 Reactions (Less Coherent Edition)

It's been two and a half years, y'all, and what a start to the new season it was. (I've seen mixed reviews in the tag, but personally the initial reaction is I loved it.) What I apparently forgot in those two years, however, is that my in-the-moment reactions notes are not very coherent. So I apologize in advance if you aren't sure what part the note refers to. I'm going to make another post tomorrow with some more coherent thoughts around the episode and some predictions about the season in general (I'm also going to be rewatching the episode later so that might lend more clarity to the next post as well). I also cut out a chunk of my reactions that were just me screaming a character's name when they showed up, unless it makes sense for the next note to leave it in (and there were a lot of these, since it's been two and a half years since I've seen my friends).

Obligatory spoiler warning if you weren't already expecting them. Prepare for some wildness. I've bracketed [ ] some brief clarifying post-ep notes (not everywhere though).

I'm obnoxious, I'm watching the entire recap.

The editing of this recap is interesting.

The bleak theme is worrying. I don't like it. But I do love the color scheme of the logo.

SYLVIE???!!!

CASEY!!!

Okay hopefully that wasn't Sylvie.

Someone give this boi [Loki] a nap. He's had a very very very long day and it's only getting longer.

What the fuck is happening.

X-5 you've got the haircut of a cop, I've decided I don't like you.

Man, I hope we fix this time-slipping in this episode, it's stressing me out too fucking much.

Oh motherfuck. This is driving me insane. This is Sisyphean torture. [I don't remember what specifically I was referring to, so I don't remember if this is an accurate description.]

OH MY GOD I LOVE LIZ CARR I HOPE SHE STICKS AROUND [Man, Liz Carr is just hopping from franchise to franchise this summer. She's in Loki, Good Omens, The Witcher)

OH SHIT. Renslayer and Kang. If they kiss on tape I'm marking it on the Bingo.

I DESPERATELY want to know what B-15's backstory is. She's a fantastic character and I want to know how she used this personality on the timeline.

Keep that Hitler youth-looking fuck away from my girl!

Oh my god, I'm going to be watching this conversation in the hall between Loki and Mobius over and over, because I love every part of it. The panicking, the teasing, the touching, the making each other feel better. Just the entire debriefing, reuniting conversation is EVERYTHING to me right now.

"In order to do that I need a Loki Who Remains." I love this

"I have no memory of having my memory wiped." Mobius. This is Catherine Tate on Nevermind the Buzzcocks telling David Tennant "I don't know songs I've never heard of" solidarity [I understand I'm making obscure 13+ year old references but this quote lives in my head rent free]

Ugh I HATE time travel. But it makes sense why his name is OB now. Also his door is a circle.

OB IF YOU KILL LOKI I WILL END YOUR CUTE BESPECTACLED FACE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "No...wait."

OB IF YOU KILL MOBIUS I WILL PERSONALLY FLAY THE SKIN FROM YOUR OWN BONES

Mobius writing "skin" into the dust on the computer lololololol

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING JUST LET LOKI CONFESS

OB I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IF ONE OF THESE BOYS EVEN SEEMS TO DIE AT THE END OF THIS EP

HOW IS HE GONNA HOOF IT BACK IF HE CAN BARELY CRAWL [I started getting really stressed at this point. It's pretty much caps lock from here on out.]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA END THIS EPISODE WITH MO BITING IT AND THEN LOKI FIXES IT IN EP TWO AND BRINGS HIM BACK

OR LOKI BITES IT AND THE OTHER WAY HAPPENS

THERE'S ELEVEN MINUTES LEFT BUT I DON'T TRUST MARVEL NOT TO MAKE ELEVEN MINUTES OF CREDITS

MARVEL DON'T MAKE ME CHECK OFF THE CRYING BOX [on the Bingo Card] ON EPISODE ONE

MARVEL

I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP

MARVEL

LOKI

MOBIUS

LOKI

MOBIUS

SYLVIE MY DARLING MY PERFECT LOVE THANK YOU OH MY GOD

How wild is it that Loki comes flying back from the jaws of death itself and saves Mobius from getting his skin ripped off and they land on the floor of the TVA in each other's arms, and the first thing Loki does is bring up his ex-girlfriend [I wouldn't classify Sylvie as this, but I'm being tongue-in-cheek, and Mobius did accuse Loki of falling for himself in season 1, so]

OKAY BUT I WAS RIGHT THAT WAS SYLVIE AT THE BEGINNING [Before you reply, remember I can't respond to those, and also I forgot that was the past and at the end Loki's in the future. HOWEVER, I do still think that was Sylvie at the beginning.]

SHE IS IN BROXTON HELL YEAH WHOEVER FIGURED THAT OUT (I don't remember who that was) FOUR FOR YOU HOLY SHIT

Oh Sylvie :(((

[jafndaegur]

20 Questions for Writers

My beloved @chierafied tagged me in this so obvi I had to do <3

AO3 username: Jafndaegur

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24 (most of my works are here on Tumblr ^^")

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 244,262

3. What fandoms do you write for? Sesskag (Inuyasha), Mystic Messenger, Wangxian & various Mo Dao Zu Shi ships, Genshin Impact, Thunderbolt Fantasy, and the Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Blood Runs Thicker (The Hobbit) - Kudos: 791

Shatter Me (The Hobbit) - Kudos: 383

The Seventh Wonder (WangXian / MDZS) - Kudos: 347

Of Jade and Claw (ZhongItto / Genshin Impact) - Kudos: 247

Gravitational Fairytale (WangXian / MDZS) - Kudos: 209

5. Do you respond to comments? I really do try to. But I have a Goldfish Brain™, and typically forget that I've read a comment and never respond. 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The angstiest ending??? I'm going to say it's tied between Blood Runs Thicker (The Hobbit) since it ends with Bilbo completely abandoning a Dwarven-given identity under the pretense that he was never loved and has to move on - and then a time when I'm without you (WangXian / MDZS), where Lan Wangji must deal with the fact that Wei Wuxian is actually dead and there's nothing he can do but grieve alone.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? My happiest ending for a story is probablyyyy where's my angel (Mystic Messenger) or The Seventh Wonder (WangXian / MDZS). Granted if this was my Tumblr fics, there'd be WAY more fluff to pick from - my favorite being Fragile Duetto (Mystic Messenger).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really. If I do, any hate is on my old Hobbit fics which were basically abandoned after a serious bout of online bullying back when I was 14. It was a good time lol. I don't really go back to those fics.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not often, and certainly only on special occasion. Any M-rated smut has never been published, though - and I certainly didn't put any on AO3. Only degenerate papapapapapa stuff here on the hellhole Tumblr platform uwu

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Oh absolutely! I started off fanfiction as a crossover writer on FFnet. My first fic was a very tame How to Train Your Dragon x Rise of the Guardians that got really popular. Since then tho, I think my craziest xover was a Mystic Messenger x Style Savvy crossover? The 2 universes together just make so much sense tho in my head lol.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of rofl I'm neither that good or that wellknown - although I wouldn't be surprised if any of my abandoned stuff got stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I've known of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Back in the old days on FFnet, I co-wrote a couple Hobbit stories, and a How to Train Your Dragon x Percy Jackson story. Idk what happened to them, they're in the abyss somewhere.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? All time favorite ship? Objectively WangXian (Wei Wuxian / Lan Wangji). Subjectively? Bagginshield. I just go back to them when I'm depressed - they are a comfort ship for sure.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? As I am retired from fanfic writing, I doubt a lot of my fics will ever actually get finished. But Noise of Rain (Sesskag) is a story I dream of finishing - it's my female rage, villain arc redemption, true anti-hero love child. Maybe one day I'll come back to it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Long ago, I'd say exposition. Now it's definitely transformed into vignette romanticism, and dialogue (this has come from my recent influx of script writing though).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down and writing. It's such a slow process for me and my brain runs too fast sometimes to be able to write something out coherently or the way I want to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh I absolutely adore it! It's a very fantasy trope to have different languages actually written in a story, but I'm HERE for it. I didn't take two years of linguistics to not include bits and pieces in a story.

19. First fandom you wrote for? As I mentioned earlier, it was for How to Train Your Dragon x Rise of the Guardians.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Oh I ABSOLUTELY have a favorite child. It's not popular (or finished, RIP), but I love it most by far - Shattered Euphony (ReZhong / Genshin Impact). I consider it one of my greatest works, both in original and fanfic writing. One day I will finish it.

Tagging @anon-drabble @reifromrfa (no pressure tho) and anyone else who'd like to join <3

[lurkingshan]

Make it Right 2

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this show that I'm struggling to decide where to start. I guess the best place is my overall impressions, which haven't changed since I finished the first series: I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I WILL DEFEND THESE CHARACTERS TO ANYONE. Fight me!

Now real talk, does this show have high production quality, smart writing and plotting, sharp editing, scene construction, and overall narrative consistency and coherence? No, it does not. It has none of those things, and a lot of them have gotten markedly worse from the first season. But all that barely phased me because the characters just hooked themselves right into my heart and wouldn't let go. This show is very very messy, but in the most lovable way ("LIKE GAY PEOPLE" - @bengiyo).

There were three main storylines that I was invested in for this second season. I will talk about them in order of least to most emotional investment.  @waitmyturtles @wen-kexing-apologist @manogirl tagging you to come back to this later after you finish your watches because I want to talk about ALL OF THIS. For anyone reading - major spoilers from here on out!!

Yok & Lukmo

Boy, I did not expect this romance, and I really liked it. Which came as a surprise, because I did not care much about Mo in the first series. I was more invested in Yok, but in season 1 he felt kind of removed from everyone else, which was of course by design. He felt apart from the other boys because he is different. And it was just really really lovely to see a femme gay character get to embrace who he is and be loved for it. I like that he was wary of Mo and tested him for awhile before he let him in, and that Mo did waver a bit when he was first challenged on whether he really was okay being in a gay relationship. That felt authentic to me, and only made it feel more solid when they came back together with Mo more confident in what he wanted. I also liked that in the end Yok's mom stepped up to take her kid's side and express her acceptance of who he is and his relationship - it was very sweet.

I do have to deduct some points here for that very tonally bizarre sex scene that got tacked on to the end of their story. The way that scene was directed, shot, and edited just didn't feel in line with their dynamic at all, and I spent most of it thinking we were in some kind of weird dream sequence. I did find it amusing though that these two were better with physical intimacy in their one scene than the leads ever managed across two full seasons.

Frame & Book

My beloveds!! They were my favorite part of season 1, and I still loved them here, though I think the show faltered a lot on their storyline in season 2. The ideas behind their arc - Book working through some past relationship trauma, dealing with the fallout of Book's public violation, Frame struggling to hang in as Book pushed him away - were all good. But the execution was pretty spotty. The entire arc needed some clearer storyboarding and a pacing and sequencing revamp. The choppy editing this season felt most evident to me in this storyline, where I often felt like scenes came abruptly out of nowhere or felt out of sequence, and emotional swings happened too fast to be believable. And I didn't love where the show ultimately took some of the resolutions with the ex-boyfriend (and the teacher who was apparently inviting his students for group sex parties??) but I can't say they aren't in line with this show's overall forgiving attitude toward whatever these boys get up to.

All that said, at the core of this storyline was Frame and Book struggling to endure a traumatic event together, figuring out how they need to show up for each other in those moments, and learning from their mistakes to become better communicators. All of that worked and fit the characters really well. I believed that Book would totally shut down and push Frame out in the face of public humiliation and deep shame. I believed Frame would try and try and try to get through to him but also experience moments of weakness where he would be tempted to just say fuck it and go back to the easier path of casual hookups. And though a lot of the journey to get there was sloppily executed, I believed that they would ultimately come out of that mess more committed and in love than before (I could have done without all the wedding talk though, they are 16 people!).

​Fuse & Tee

And here we come to the arc that frustrated and thrilled me in equal measure. FUSE YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER I WANT TO YEET YOU OFF A CLIFF AND ALSO GIVE YOU A GIANT HUG. I was deep in my feelings about this story all season. Fuse made me so mad, Tee made me so sad, and they both made me so happy in the end when they finally figured out their shit.

Fuse's storyline feels very familiar to a lot of early Thai bl. His inability to let go of his shitty girlfriend and his constant wavering between Jean and Tee was reminiscent of Phun in Love Sick (and would also be a dynamic repeated in other shows like Together with Me). The key difference for me, and what made it comparably more upsetting than in Love Sick, is that unlike Noh, Tee did not have his own other relationship to deal with or any ambivalence about whether he wanted to actually be together. Tee only ​wanted Fuse, and wanted commitment and fidelity from him, and watching Tee get increasingly depressed as he tried to be happy just getting what he could from Fuse, caught in a cycle of getting hope and then being rejected again, was so painful. And while he might not have been fully aware of how selfish and cruel he was being at first, eventually Fuse definitely saw how this was affecting Tee and came to understand he was the cause, and he still didn't stop fucking with him! I was so angry with him around the midpoint of the season, I just wanted Tee to dump him and start dating his little friend. 

What made it all so much harder to swallow is that Jean and Fuse's relationship was so mild. THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER. Fuse does not want to touch or kiss her - that was established way back at the beginning of season 1. They go long stretches where they don't even talk to each other until one of them remembers the other exists. Jean has a whole other boyfriend that she seems to have a much deeper relationship with. And this is where the show kind of pissed me off, because the way they turned Jean into an evil manipulative woman stereotype with her pulling this elaborate scheme to pretend her boyfriend was her brother so she could parade around town with him (and even brazenly bring him in front of Fuse!) just felt so false and over the top to me. Why would she bother to do any of that just for the sake of stringing along this boy who isn't even interested in being her boyfriend in any real way? @bengiyo mentioned that his reading of it was she is insecure in her relationship with the older boy and so wants Fuse as a back up, which I could buy to a certain extent, but they really lost me with the lengths she went to. Jean is a very pretty girl who will no doubt have another boyfriend in a week; all this just to hang on to Fuse? I didn't buy it.

And that's a problem because it made it harder to understand why the hell Fuse was having such a hard time letting go of her, and why he was willing to hurt Tee so much in the process. I think if he genuinely liked Jean and had a deeper relationship with her, that would have worked better for me. As it was, he just seemed like a coward, and the way he kept rejecting Tee and then still trying to have his way with him after was infuriating. When he told Tee he was breaking up with him and staying with Jean, and then still tried to get him to sleep with him after, that's when I was ready to strangle this kid. And some of this I can rationalize as him not being ready to firmly commit to being out in a gay relationship and needing Jean as a kind of shield and safety blanket, but if that was the intent I think the show muddied the message a bit by having literally everyone already know about Tee and Fuse. That horse was long out of the barn before Fuse finally did something about Jean.

To the show's credit, it knows exactly how awful Fuse was throughout this entire debacle, and the last segment of their arc is all about Fuse recognizing it himself and atoning for his behavior with Tee. I love that we saw him apologize to Tee with increasing sincerity. I love that we saw him finally be the one to pursue Tee and make his feelings clear, and that Tee actually made him work for it. I loved that we had multiple episodes of Fuse trying to work up the courage to ask Tee to be his faen, and that Tee knew what was happening and enjoyed watching Fuse flounder. My absolute favorite scene was Fuse finally breaking down and confessing to Tee at the beach (with a little help from best bro Lukmo) - that he knows he was wrong, that he knows he was selfish, that he understands what Tee means to him now, that he loves him and wants to be with him and he's ready to commit to that. And Tee, because he is a kind and generous person who has been patiently waiting for this all along, immediately forgave him and responded in kind. It was so emotionally cathartic and satisfying, and felt very much earned after that loooooong journey through the mess. More than anything else I felt so proud of Fuse, and so happy for Tee, and I believed they would be solid from that point on. I didn't even need the sweet little epilogue to feel that way, but I was delighted to get it (and a direct homage to Love Sick with Fuse putting his hand over the camera lens as he leaned over to kiss his boyfriend).

Final thoughts

As I wrapped up my watch I have been reflecting on why this show is not as beloved in fandom as something like Love Sick. Why does it not seem to have the same nostalgic pull? Why don't people (other than @absolutebl and @bengiyo) talk about it as much as other classic Thai bls? And the only thing I can think of is that it's too raw for most of the bl audience. And I mean raw in every sense - the production, the acting, the emotions, the inexperience and naivete and even the physicality of the characters. Nothing particularly sophisticated is happening here, and nothing is smoothed over. If you want to love these characters, you have to love them through all the bad decisions and fucked up choices and flaws run wild. You have to love them when they're ugly as much as when they're beautiful. And I think that's hard for a lot of the audience that just wants to see sweet love stories. But I am here for it and so glad I finally got to watch this.

[suddenlywritingstrangerthings]

Giving up control

Steve gets drunk and Billy gets angry and they both decide making out in the bathroom is more fun than fighting

Ship: Harringrove

tags: oral sex, enemies to enemies with benefits, literally no plot, very drunk sex, hatesex (kinda, at the start), power dynamics

Steve stumbled into the bathroom like he wasn't sure where he was going or entirely what the room was for. This was an issue primarily because it was the guest bathroom of the house he’d lived in for his entire life. 

To say he was drunk would be an understatement only bested by saying that he wasn’t handling his and Nancy’s breakup very well. In all his infinite wisdom, he had decided to throw a party, a Saturday night rager, supposedly just because his parents were gone (as they are most weekends) but mainly to get his mind off things and give him an excuse to get shitfaced. Which he did, gleefully besting even Billy in the kegstand tournament two hours and a six-pack ago. 

Unfortunately, that small victory hadn’t improved the blonde bully’s mood at all, and when he saw Steve breaking away from the party, he knew this was probably his best chance to get the other boy alone. His ego was bruised, Tommy had fucked off with some girl, and he really had nothing better to do than pick a fight, so here he was, leaning against the doorframe of Steve's bathroom, watching the senior splash water on his face, in some useless attempt to become more coherent. Billy could see himself in the mirror above Steve's head, so he could just wait there, taking a long drag from his cigarette until Steve finally noticed him. 

Steve paused before looking up, hoping just to look himself in the eyes enough to try and blink away the spinning and swaying that had crawled into his vision sometime since the party started. It all had gotten to be too much, especially when he saw Nancy herself in the corner, chatting awkwardly with Jonathan. Steve invited them both himself, trying to turn it into some kind of fucked up olive branch, trying to at least be friends, but it wasn't going very well. When his eyes finally did meet the mirror, he jumped, immediately turning around.

"the fuck are you doing in here?" his words were slurred, but the shock and mounting anger were unmistakable. He hated Billy; his toned abs, his California perfect hair and skin, his honestly amazing skill in basketball, and he was the second best in town at kegstands. Yeah, Steve really fucking hated him.

"Could ask you the same thing, princess. Did seeing the wheeler chick hanging with a loser all night finally get too much for you?" he knew it was a low blow, but he didn't come in here to make friends. He was itching for action, his blood alight with adrenaline and alcohol and making it easier than ever for him to make stupid choices, not that he had a hard time with it on a good day. He looked Steve up and down and expected it to be a bit of an unfair fight, the guy was leaning on the sink just to stand up straight, and his drooping eyelids seemed straight out of a porno with how he was fluttering his eyelashes just to keep them open. He really couldnt believe what he was seeing, the former king of Hawkins high, shitfaced in his own bathroom over some stuck-up bookish girl. Honestly, if Billy wasn't so close to laughing, he would call it almost sad.

"Stop fucking calling me that!" the nickname had persisted for weeks, ever since Billy found out about the stupid title Tommy gave him when they were freshmen, he had reduced it to quite possibly the most insulting moniker Steve could have. he hated it, but he thought it was still better than when Billy called him by name, the sound of his name in the blond's voice, with that slight drawl and rasp to it, always got a reaction out of him, and usually a violent one.

"Alright, sweetheart. What would you prefer I call you? King Steve or just Stevie?"

Billy continued goading, hoping the other boy would take the first swing, but that wasn't exactly what he got. In what appeared to be a moment of clarity, Steve leaned back against the sink, not like it was sustaining his weight, but like he had seen the boy lean against lockers to speak to girls. 

"You aren't looking for a fight Billy." their eyes met, and Steve’s suddenly didn't seem glassy with alcohol, and Billy started preparing a comeback. It died in his throat when Steve continued, "you just want someone to bite back, take control from you in a situation where you're safe." 

Billy balked, unsure of how to respond to that, that, that, accusation? assesment? damn cruel read? He wasn't quite sure what had transpired, but he knew he didn't like it much. he suddenly felt vulnerable, like Steve wasn't seeing his persona, but the 17-year-old boy scared out of his whits that went home every day. 

Billy slammed the door, locking them both in the room, and stormed closer to Steve. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Steve leaned closer to him before grabbing his shoulders and flipping them. Billy’s ass was on the counter, shocked beyond belief, and Steve’s lips were brushing against the shell of his ear as he spoke.

“Wanna feel my teeth?”

Billy smiled and figured this was as much fun as fighting, and, well, a mouth is a mouth. He spun them back around, pinning Steve harshly against the sink, and pressed their mouths together.

The first thing Steve noticed was that Billy was a surprisingly good kisser. This observation was followed quickly by the monumental discovery that he was kissing Billy Hargroves and enjoying it. Fortunately, even a drunk Steve was good at this part. It was what he knew how to do. It was how he got girls. It was how he got favors. It was one of his favorite pastimes.

Steve surged forward, pinning Billy against the back of the bathroom door, and reached down to lock it. Billy made a noise of surprise into the kiss but didn't pull away, so Steve deepened it, running a hand up to Billy’s neck to pull him closer and run his tongue along the blond’s lower lip.

Billy opened his mouth far more quickly than Steve expected, maybe he had been right, and Billy just needed to be taken care of. If so, this would be both a very fun and very interesting night. Regardless Billy’s hands drifted to Steve’s back, lightly gripping his shirt.

Steve slotted a knee between his thighs and ground forwards, not enough to do anything but just to test the waters. Billy immediately grabbed his ass and pulled his hips forwards with more force, drawing a slightly surprised groan out of him.

Steve reached behind him to grab both of Billy’s hands in one of his before dragging them to the wall above their heads. Billy pulled back from the kiss to argue but was cut off by Steve grinding their hips together again forcefully.

Steve brought his mouth down, leaving small kisses and bites along Billy’s neck before biting down harshly and sucking a bit, creating a dark hickey that elicited a moan from the blond. Steve smiled against his skin and continued rutting their hips together, the tension between them mounting.

Eventually, Steve couldn’t handle waiting, and used his grip on Billy’s hands to push him to his knees. Billy stared up at him, his eyes slightly glassy and his mouth agape where he had been whining. “C’mon, Billy. You know what to do.” Steve’s voice was goading, but he was still so obviously turned on and in control that Billy listened, quickly divesting him of his pants and underwear.

When Steve’s cock appeared, it was a bit bigger than Billy expected but slender. Billy hesitated, slightly out of fear from the size but also because he hadn't done this since leaving California and never in a situation where the other person actually had control. Seeing him pause, Steve carefully took hold of it and guided it toward Billy’s mouth, “You don't have to take the whole thing but let me feel you.” He rested the tip on Billy’s lips, and Billy did the rest, hiding his teeth and starting to suck. Immediately Steve was gasping, he hadn't had this since before nancy, and Billy was good at it.

Steves' hands cautiously rested in Billy’s hair, but Billy immediately pulled away, “You think I keep it this long just for the look, Harrington? Don’t be a pussy.”

He took that as an invitation and used his hands in Billy’s hair more firmly, guiding him up and down. Pulling on the golden locks got him a beautiful moan, and pushing Billy’s head never seemed to bother the boy as he never gagged, even when his nose touched skin and he looked up to make eye contact with Steve.

“God, Billy, so good for me.” That got him another moan, apparently, praise was the way to go. After that, he couldnt stop talking, practically fucking Billy’s face and chanting praises to him, how good he looked and felt and how talented he was at this. His words were still a little slurred from the alcohol, but it only seemed to spur the blond on as he moved faster and took the entire thing down his throat every time.

In moments, Steve was forcing his head to the base, and moaning his name a little too loudly for there to still be a party going on outside. Billy swallowed with tears in his eyes from the lack of oxygen.

Eventually, Billy pulled back, coughing slightly, “I’d ask you to return the favor, but you’d probably puke on me.” he laughs as Steve wobbles, the orgasm only seeming to make his drunkenness worse.

Billy stood and left without another word. 

Steve promptly threw up in the trash can, prepared to forget all about it.

[sophia-sol]

The Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation (aka Mo Dao Zu Shi), by Mo Xiang Tong Xiu

When I watched The Untamed (hereafter CQL) in 2021, my immediate thought upon finishing was that I HAD to read the book (hereafter MDZS) it was based on. Now, more than two years later, I have finally done that.

And it's so good you guys!

And also, really very different from CQL.

I knew that already, because on top of the way that inevitably at least some things get changed in any adaptation process, I understand that the complex system of chinese censorship has standards for a wide variety of different things not being allowed to be shown on tv. And several of those things are integral to the version of the story in MDZS.

Being now familiar with the versions of the story told in both tv and book, I think the difference that's the biggest is the moral universe being presented by the themes of each story. CQL is the story of a person who always tries his best to do what's right, and is treated poorly by society because of it, but eventually is able to triumph. MDZS is the story of a person who makes some huge mistakes and then has to (gets to?) learn how to live with them.

Both are wonderful stories worth telling! And they have a lot in common. But they are not, in the end, the same story. Going forward I will definitely be paying more attention to which version is being tagged as the fandom when I open fic!

I do feel like I'm not quite up to writing a coherent review of the book right now though. I read the first two-thirds or so back in April, and then accidentally took a multi-month break from reading it, and then read through the remainder over the course of the last few weeks. So the beginning portions of the book are fuzzy in my head and easy to confuse with everything else I have read about CQL/MDZS and the fanfic of both, and it's hard to hold the shape of the entire narrative in my head.

But I do have a few more notes! Most of which are varyingly spoilery for either or both of CQL & MDZS

One is how the Jin Guangyao storyline in MDZS more closely adheres to the theme of "making choices, experiencing consequences" imo. In CQL, JGY is kicked out from the Nie sect because of killing the supervisor who treated him poorly, but in the book he leaves the Nie on good terms, and the incidents which make Nie Mingjue distrust and dislike him happen after he's already gone. JGY really could have just stuck around the Nie sect comfortably and with respect if he chose! But he wanted the things he could get from seeking his dad's approval even more. It's about what you decide to prioritize and go after.

I enjoy how MDZS goes more back and forth with the timelines, and you can see current Wei Wuxian having opinions about the past. And I love how WWX just sees his past self as super cringe, rather than like condemning himself or anything!

There are several really excellent female characters in MDZS, but they do not get a lot of page time, so I appreciate CQL's efforts to increase the presence and narrative relevance of the female characters.

The way everyone just calls the Wens Wen-dogs as a standard term is so uncomfortable to me. Dehumanizing your enemy is a classic strategy in war, for understandable reasons, and it does definitely serve to remind me regularly just how much all the main characters are in a war mindset! Which is why it's so uncomfortable lol. But that's like. a good thing. Nobody in this story is morally pure!

Speaking of not morally pure, I was fascinated to see that the distinction CQL makes between the Dafan Wen as pacifist doctors and the Qishan Wen as supporting Wen Ruohan is straight up not present in MDZS. Wens are Wens, and Wen Qing and Wen Ning are important close members of Wen Ruohan's family, and the Wen remnants include cultivators. I appreciate this too! You cannot separate people into "these ones are evil and deserve to die" and "these ones are completely blameless and have never done anything wrong ever." Love to reject a binary.

But then as well, when Wei Wuxian rescues Wen Ning and the others from the work camp, as far as I can tell from what the narrative tells us, he doesn't actually take all the prisoners, only those who are connected with Wen Ning and Wen Qing in some way - which makes it come across less as "I am taking a moral stand about the treatment of prisoners" and more "I owe a debt to the Wen siblings and must repay it."

I also appreciated the bit of context about what work specifically the Wens were being made to do at Qionqi path - remove aggrandizing stonework depictions of Wen accomplishments to replace it with similar ones but for the Jin. It's clear it's meant as, like, something humiliating for the Wens to have to do.

Lan Wangji is described in both MDZS and CQL in the post-sunshot era as someone who "goes where the chaos is" and I had always understood that previously to mean that he seeks out the biggest chaos. But MDZS makes it clear that what it means by the term is that he's willing to go deal with any situation that needs addressing even if it's small-scale and would be considered beneath him and won't enhance his reputation in the high echelons of cultivator society he was raised in. Love this for him. I wonder if this is what CQL also meant, and I just failed to read it correctly?

And then of course there are things like the absence of a second flautist, which I did already know about from fandom discussions, which is kind of emblematic of the difference between the two narratives.

(oh also. This is very personally motivated but I'm grateful CQL was not able to include more depiction of cannibalism and reanimated corpses because that would be a LOT for me to watch in the more visceral medium of television! and there are so many corpses in MDZS! I think it's very good and appropriate in the book, and I'm glad it stayed in the book.)

idk I feel like I'm spending most of this review talking about MDZS only as relates to CQL which feels a bit unfair to MDZS as the originator, like I'm not respecting it as its own thing! But it's hard for me to talk about it in any other way after having spent the last two years so much in the fandom. If I'd come to MDZS before I ever knew anything about CQL this would be reading very differently!

At some point I do want to do a closer reading of MDZS to appreciate it better for what it specifically is doing, like the way I'm currently doing a TGCF close read on mastodon. There's so much fruitful stuff to pay attention to in any work by MXTX.

Anyway please rec me fic that is particularly good at being based in MDZS canon! I want to spend more time exploring it!

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

The Whisperer: Part 15 (Wally Clark Fic)

A/N: This is going to be all smut since it’s the weekend so Mo doesn’t have to be at school the next part will be too and then there won’t really be too much.

What the hell was tickling my leg? I groaned and kicked in the general direction that the annoying feeling was coming from and it stopped for a minute but started back up. Irritated that whatever was crawling on my skin had interrupted my sleep I kicked harder this time. “Aw, fuck Mo.” I cracked one eye open and there was Wally with some kind of tickling thing on my leg.

“Wally….what the hell are you doing?” He smirked and climbed on top of me kissing me before kissing his way down my neck. He stopped and lightly lapped at a mark that he had left the night before and I couldn’t stop the moan that came from my mouth.

“We’re going to work on that fact that you can’t follow simple directions today.” He pulled away and I pouted at the fact he was no longer laying on me. “Spread your legs for me sweetheart.” I swear it was like yesterday didn’t happen because I instantly blushed and looked anywhere but at Wally. He put his hand under my chin making me look at him. “I said…spread your legs.” And just like I was hypnotized they fell open for him. He smiled and pulled me closed by the hips before gently lapping at my clit.

“Oh fuck.” He was far too good at that, or I was just easy for him to get off. Either way I wasn’t able to form a coherent thought let alone sentence when he did that. I opened my eyes and looked down to see him staring right back at me, face buried in my pussy, very much enjoying what he was doing. I started rocking my hips up into his face and he groaned holding me closer to him by my hips. I bit my lip and throwing caution to the wind very gently pushed on his chest until he was laying down. At first he was confused but when he saw I was coming to straddle his face he smiled.

“That’s my good girl, sit on my face” I didn’t even have time to sit down before he basically pulled me down on top of him and at me like he was a starving man. “Cum on my face sweetheart I love hearing the noises you make when you do.” Jesus he was probably going to kill me by orgasm if this was how he was planning on waking me up every day.

“Oh fuck Wally it feels so good.” I bit my lip and moved my hips quicker on his face until I could feel the pressure about to blow. “Oh fuck Wally please” I didn’t even have to say anymore his tongue started thrusting in and out and that was just what I needed to climb over. I fell forward shaking but Wally didn’t falter in his movements very quickly flipping us over so he was between my legs and I was on my back as he was very quickly eating me to a second orgasm, the second one crashed over me and he -just like the first one- held me in place and continued to lick through wave after wave of pleasure. It was almost to the point of too sensitive and I moved to squirms away from him but his hands held me in place. “Wally.” I half cried half bitched him out because while I felt amazing and i loved that he wanted to make me feel good but how many more did he think I was going to have?

“Shh, lay down sweetheart. You’re doing so good.” His tongue slowed down to where he was lazily lapping at the mess I had made all down my legs, giving me time to catch my breath. “So beautiful when you cum sweetheart.” I looked down at him and raked my fingers through his hair and his closed his eyes letting out a low growl as he continued licking at me. “You taste so good, I could stay down here all day just tasting you and listening to you scream my name.”

“Wally, fuck I don’t know if I can cum anymore.” He smirked and continued his assault on my clit while running his fingertips lightly up and down my thighs. My leg started shaking as I felt a third one approaching, i was less sensitive compared to my second one but that didn’t mean that I didn’t scream his name as my third orgasm washed over me. “Wally, too sensitive.” I gently pushed his head away and this time he kissed his way up my body instead of continuing his assault on my pussy.

“Such a good girl Mo, I love watching you fall apart, hearing you moan and scream my name as you do.” I moaned and reached up pulling him down so I could kiss him and just wrap my body around him. “I love how you shiver when I touch you or you hear my voice.” He placed a kiss on my shoulder leading up to my neck after each word. “I could spend the rest of my afterlife drowning in you and I wouldn’t mind.” I’ve convinced myself that Wally just has a fetish for my ear because he consistently kisses and sucks on them.

I flipped us over so he was underneath me and I was straddling his hips. I bit my lip and let my hands lightly wonder across his chest and arms, groaning lowly in my throat as they made their way across the ripples in his muscles. Wally raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything and let me continue on my quest. I smiled and dipped my head placing a wet kiss in the dip between his neck and shoulder. Aside from the way his breath caught and the pressure increasing in his grip oh my hips there was no outward sign that I had fazed him. I trailed my lips lower working them along his chest and down to his waistband. I glanced up, his brown eyes once again almost black as he watched me move lower and lower. I bit my lip nervously and pulled them down and almost wished I had x ray vision that way I could have been slightly prepared. I knew he was by no means small based on the stretch I was still feeling from yesterday but it’s not like I had studied and taken notes while he was eating me out.

“Mo.” His hips moved every so slightly and that was all I needed before plunging head first -quite literally- wrapping my lips around his cock all the way down to his balls. “FUCK MO.” I smiled inwardly to myself, he wasn’t the only one that could get a reaction now. I took my time running my tongue along the underside before slowly bringing my mouth up almost off his cock completely before going back down tortuously slow. He threaded his fingers through my hair and tried ever so sneakily to jut his hips forward but I borrowed a move he had played in me countless times and put a hand on his hips stopping him in his tracks. “Mo, come on Mo, please.” Well would you look at who’s begging now. I pulled away from him entirely smirking at him and he threw his head back with a groan. I did feel a little bit sorry for him though he had given me orgasm after orgasm while not really thinking about himself. I lowered my mouth back down around his cock and worked it steadily lapping at the underside and moaning both from the taste of Wally and the feeling of him filling up my throat. I didn’t get it past friends had made it sound like sucking theirs boyfriends cock was a chore but I would gladly suck Wally’s as often and as long as he would allow me to. I felt a shift in his leg muscles and heard his breathing pick up.

“Cum for me Wally.” I murmured before quickly replacing my mouth in him and no sooner had I done that was he holding my head in place as he filled my mouth while I swallowed. Again I don’t understand it wasn’t a bad taste why make it seem like you were drinking fucking bleach or something? I pulled my head away and licked my lips staring at him while I did so. Fuck was I just gonna be horny for the rest of my life if Wally as in it because as soon as my gaze locked on his I felt wetness drip onto his legs. “Fuck Wally.” He smiled and pulled me down to him.

“So beautiful Mo, look at you all flustered and bright eyed, breathless.” Her and his thumb along my lower lip and my tongue quickly darted out licking it. “You know fully well what you’re doing to me don’t you Mori?” His tone huskier as his eyes darkened. “Such a good girl for me.” His mouth covered mine but this was different it wasn’t a rushed kiss like before it was a slower, more hungry he gently raised me and maneuvered me over his cock before pulling away just enough so he could look me in the eyes. “Sit down my sweet girl.” He gently lowered me down and I couldn’t help the gasp that fell from my mouth as he did.

“Oh fuck.” He shhed me before pulling my upper half flush with his is he gently moved up and down inside of me this was a change of pace but it felt just as good as when he had me bent like a pretzel last night. I felt my core tightening and I tried to move myself faster on his cock but he firmly held me in place and continued at his original pace. “Wally, fuck you feel so good in me.” He groaned low in his throat but didn’t say anything in response. I laid my head on his shoulder and placed lazy kisses as he continued to thrust up inside of me pace faltering as I felt him getting closer to his orgasm, “That’s it Wally, cum for me.” He made a strangled choking noise thing as he filled me over and over before his body relaxing.

“I could do that all day with you Mo, but you are still alive and alive humans tend to get hungry throughout the day.” As if right on cue my stomach let out a long loud growl and I felt my face redden in embarrassment. “Come in sweet girl let’s go get your belly full so I can continue what we started.”

[occult-roommates]

It’s time to go

That was it, after two wonderful weeks, it was time to go back to San Myshuno; say farewell to the low-poly seagulls and hello to the low-poly pigeons. There they were, waiting before their flight, Rudi, Dawud and Daniele were starting to get bored, so they just...looked at each other’s passport.

Daniele: Wait, why do you have an American passport? I thought you were born in Costa Rica and grew up in Germany. You’ve moved to the US like...less than six months ago. Rudi: My mom is Costa Rica and I was born there, and I did move to Germany cause my dad was German. After he died, my mom wanted to go back home, but she got in an online relationship with a Puerto Rican dude, who is now my step-father, so we moved to Puerto Rico. And since Puerto Rican have US passport well here I am. Daniele: Fascinating, thanks for the explanation. Rudi: Costa Rican and Puerto Rican. Call that the double rican...God I wish I was actually rich. Dawud: I don’t get it? Daniele: In Spanish, Costa Rica means rich coast and Puerto Rico means rich port. I don’t speak Spanish but you know my first language is Italian and in Italian both rich coast is costa ricca and rich port is porto ricco so I kinda...deduced. Dawud: I now feel incredibly stupid for never realizing. Rudi: You deadass grew up in Arizona and cannot speak not even un poquito de Español?  Dawud: I mean, I could have picked Spanish in high school like a normal person, but my biggest bullies were all in that class so instead I picked German like a fucking nerd.  Rudi: Oh really, you speak German? Say something, I totally won’t roast you for your pronunciation. Dawud: Uh...Ich mag trinkt Pferdeblud. Rudi: Not only is this sentence barely coherent and not grammatically correct but WHY is this the sentence you chose to say? You actually pronounced it perfectly though. Dawud: I said this one cause it’s the only one I know. Rudi: Ok so WHY is this the only one you know??

While these two were...peacefully arguing about the validity of Dawud’s German, Daniele tried quickly to look at Rudi’s passort. As soon as they saw him do that, they took it away from him.

Daniele: Lu-na M-M-M-Mo- Rudi: BITCH! Daniele: What, I just wanted to see if your first name is actually Rudder! Rudi: Yes, my full name is Rudder, that’s my old name that’s written here. I haven’t changed my name legally yet cause I’ve only realized I’m nonbinary like...barely a year ago. Daniele: YOU’RE A WEREWOLF AND YOUR PARENTS LEGIT DECIDED TO NAME YOU LUNA??? Rudi: You think that’s bad, my mom is fucking named Guadalupe. Dawud: Also why do you read so slowly Dan? Daniele: Can’t I be dyslexic in peace?

Kino looked at these three, in awe on how their age gap can be barely three years and yet, they felt so much more mature than these overgrown teenagers. That’s when they got a text from Toni asking if they were still on the island. Kino answered with a yes, so Toni asked them to go outside the airport.

Kino: Oh, hi Toni. Already missing me? But you know, I’ll likely be back next summer. Toni: Kim I love you.

Oh...Oh my. Kino had often confess these words to someone, but they had never been on the receiving end before. Toni took their hand, and they kissed, right before it was announced boarding had began for their flight.

Hopefully then, it won’t take a year before they see each other again.

Prev - Next

[butchpeabody]

ok i finally feel coherent enough to post my spiderverse thoughts. theyll be under the cut and ill tag this post "atsv spoilers!" (as well as anything else i rb.) if you havent seen the movie id advise against checking the notes as well jic someone replies

so like. first of all what the fuck. i was fucking slackjawed from the last 30 minutes of the movie starting to getting home and sitting down. absolutely MASTERFUL movie in every way imaginable. i dont have the words in my head rn but its just. GOD. fuck. i will be buying the artbook when it comes out

individual points:

-i really really do love the curtains are blue style gwen trans allegory good fucking god. WHAT THE FUCK shes so good. by no means the main character (i was actually kind of worried when thebmovie started like i do love her im glad she got some shit but ibwas like...is this gonna be from her pov the whole time when miles is here...it wasnt!) but i adored her in this shes so ficking full of issues

-HOBIE. HOBIE MY FRIEND HOBIE. i really enjoy his presence in the movie- when hes mentioned once or twice before appearing i thought hed have a rivalry with miles but that was absolutely not the case. in retrospect its really funny that miguel grabbed him for his fucked up spiderverse shit giving that his entire MO is anarchism but if he were not there miles would absolutely be hurt or worse. im INCREDIBLY excited to see what they do with him in the next movie- especially because i can kind of see him as a parallel to aaron in a way? such free spirits ...artistic .... also i dont have as much to say about him but god pativr is so good i love him. i LOVE HIM

-peni was my favorite character in the first movie when i was younger but i had since grown like...worried about her showing up in future movies because of her stereotypical portrayal. its probably too early to give a clear for now nor is it my place to comment on the actual content of that BUT for what its worth she seemed much more faithful to the comics' tone in this movie- it seems that the implication was that peni experienced her comic run in between movies? her mech and outfit are far different. she was fucking HAGGARD when she first showed up. ham and noir coming back in the next movie will be nice but i do hope that they replace hams voice actor.

-miguel is so fucjing fascinating. people either seem to desire him carnally or hope he dies and im definitrly not in the former and im like.....nnnot entirely in the latter. intetesting character excited to see where he goes! what the FUCK was his problem though. you are a GROWN MAN trying to tear a 15 year old asunder because hes like hey i dojt want to stand idly by and watch my dad perish dude. he sucks and is horrible and i want to study him. jessica also really but she seems less fucked up and more like...willing ti take care of her responsibilites despite the emotional toll. excited to see if they clash more in part 2

-i dont even have the words to describe the animation but everyrhing is so beautiful. a few characters have sketch guidelines on them despite being 3d! the first fight scene of the movie contains a chararacter from a fucking da vinky world and hes in sepiatone and its fucking GORGOEUS.

-miles. ohhhhhh milesmilesmilesmiles saving the best for last. what do i even say man the progression of his arc, the way the smallest action of his from the first movie set off a massive chain of events, the turmoil he goes through and comes out stronger. his PARENTS. HIS RELATIONSHIP TO THEM HIS WORRY FOR THEM. i nearly screamed when he went in the wrong universe and aaron was there, AND HIS DAD WAS DEAD, THE THING HE WAS TRYING TO PREVENT. AND THEN ALTERNATE MILES BEING THE PROWLER. IS THE IMPLCIATION THAT EARTH 42 MILES WOULDVE BEEN THAT UNIVERSES SPIDERMAN BUT BECAISE THE SPIDER LEFT HE BECAME THE FUCKING PROWLER???? FUCK MAN!!!!! i need to see him thriving i hope he gets home okay. amazing movie amaaasizinngngnnn

[vaguelyprophetic]

I have read ‘if you need someone to hold’ at least a million times now because that one scene where it finally breaks and Roman doesn’t say anything, just collapses into Stewy’s hug and eventually falls asleep SPEAKS VOLUMES!!! That in the end Roman doesn’t actually need to say anything because Stewy will see right through him anyway. I’ll be honest I wasn’t so keen on them in the first place but after reading your work and then rewatching specifically their scenes…mhm yeah, I have been exposed to the light 🙏 I was wondering if you had a particular hc/thought on Roman’s relationship with sex. It’s never really explicitly stated in the show and Ik a popular hc is that he’s a virgin. Or is that perhaps he’s never really been able to enjoy it before, it’s almost like this shameful thing in his head but when he and Stewy start hooking up he learns to enjoy it, learns more things about himself, his likes/dislikes. He learns love the healthy way <3 I loved the idea you had on another post that it starts with degradation if that’s what Roman wants but Stewy eventually coaxes him into praise and Roman likes hearing it. Anyway, I won’t go on forever but I just love your stuff <3

thank you so much 🥺 that fic is definitely one that I'm still very very proud of and it makes me extremely happy that people seem to like it so much!!! I also love to hear that my fics converted people into enjoying stewyroman lol. welcome to the dark side <3

I have a lot of thoughts about roman and sex so I'm going to put them under a read more both because this will probably go on for too long and because there's gonna be mention of sexual assault and trauma. so just be mindful of that!

I don't think he's a virgin. I think he has some serious hang-ups about sex and attraction, and those feelings absolutely come from his trauma. we still don't know exactly what happened to him, but I feel like it's pretty obvious that he was assaulted as a kid, probably multiple times. I mean, "uncle mo"? the rat pack that ran cruises? there were a lot of horrible people around when the roys were kids. it's definitely never going to be explicitly stated, because succession doesn't give us that kind of information, but the subtext and clues are all there and have been from the very beginning imo.

so yeah, that trauma makes it a little bit difficult for roman to have a normal relationship with sex as an adult. he's also got body image issues, which makes it even harder to be vulnerable like that. it also ties into why I think he's gay rather than bi -- he already feels ashamed enough about sexual attraction, so the fact that he's attracted to men makes that all the more difficult, because he knows what his dad (and the vast majority of the business world) think about gay men. the women he goes after are the ones who other men around him have expressed interest in, and I think to him, there's an idea that it's a sort of conquest and that those men will respect him if he can hook up with the women they find attractive.

I don't really have coherent thoughts about this but I'm thinking about how also it seems like roman's sexuality is sort of used as a pawn in business negotiations, too. I mean his thing with eduard, his thing with matsson, his thing with mencken... idk how to word what I'm trying to say here but it feels like that's something that roman is unfortunately very used to.

I can also see why people think that he's asexual, but I don't think he is! I think he does feel sexual attraction and wants to have that experience and connection but that his trauma and other issues sort of block him from being able to do that. we saw that he wanted to try different things with tabitha to see what worked, so I think there is definitely a desire to figure it out and be able to just enjoy sex and be "normal."

roman absolutely needs someone who is gentle and patient with him while he figures his shit out. which is why the stewy/roman dynamic works for me, because I think stewy could definitely fill that role of being the person who just wants to give roman pleasure and make sure that he feels good about whatever it is they do. so over time roman starts to feel less and less ashamed and scared of his attraction and starts to embrace it in a safe and healthy way <3

idk if any of this is actually coherent but I do have a lot of feelings about roman and his relationship with his own body and his desires. my fics are so self-indulgent because I just want him to feel safe and loved </3

[montgomery-cannon]

the attack - a self para

Perhaps it was lucky he was out of the Tower - perhaps it wasn't.

Monty woke up as he often did after these sorts of soirees - naked in someone's bed whose name he knew only through close study and intention. Much to his surprise, however, his bedfellow was already awake. This was a particular surprise because it was just past four in the morning, when Monty usually would start to make his exit. Caught, and not wanting to ruin the hard work he had been doing all evening, Monty pivoted from a stealthy escape to a leisurely, full body stretch.

"You're up late. Or early." Monty cast his eyes on his target, Fillip Ko, who was pacing around the large bedroom in an imported silk robe, the fabric wisping around his ankles. Fillip was engrossed in the bright light of his phone and chewing anxiously on his fingernails. As he finished one digit, he would move on to the next in cycle.

Fillip didn't look up from his phone as he addressed Monty, his voice small and mousy. "I wired the money to Ms. Morgan already. And I made you coffee. In the kitchen."

"Oh, that's very sweet of you. But I really ought to get going." Monty swung his legs over the side of the bed and stood, giving Fillip another stretch. To Monty's slight annoyance, however, the man wasn't staring - or even glancing, for that matter. Fillip was fully consumed by his phone.

"I... I don't think you'll want to leave," the man said.

"I've heard that before."

"No, I mean... there's -"

Fillip was cut off by the sound of an explosion outside. Monty instinctively ducked, throwing his arms up to protect his head from anything that might be flying - but it seemed that the blast was outside.

"What the fuck?!" Monty called, moving away from the window.

"It's uh... The Vox. They've... they've..."

Monty strode up to the small man to take him by the shoulders. Fillip, for his measure, finally took his eyes away from his phone long enough to look over Monty's body. Monty put his fingers on Fillip's chin, bringing his gaze up to meet his own. "The Vox have what?"

"Taken the Tower. The city. It... it seems."

Images flooded Monty's mind. Sheen. Cress. Kya. Everett. He didn't realize he had squeezed into Fillip's cheeks until the man squeaked out, "Uh... Montgomery. Mont- please?" Monty released him - perhaps with a bit more of a throw than he intended - and spun to look out the window.

"They took the Tower?"

"That's what they're saying."

"Who?"

"The news - everyone - do you want to get dressed?"

"And they claim the Capitol too? The whole city?"

"Yes. I'm... I'm gonna lock down here. I don't think you should leave."

Monty turned to look at Fillip, his mind racing. "Lock down?"

Fillip moved to a wall and pushed a button. Industrial metal plates started sliding down over the windows, and Monty could see his intention. It was actually quite impressive, all things considered.

And there was no way to get to the Tower. And even if he did - what would he do? He crossed his arms across his chest, trying to get his brain to slow down enough to form a coherent thought.

"I mean, you don't have to get dressed if you don't want. I just thought -"

"I can stay here?"

Fillip blinked. "I - uh. Yeah. I've got the space. And I've got some... well. Tunnels. That I can access when - if needed. People are saying the rebels are... rounding up people. Gamemakers. Sponsors. It would nice to have..." He gestured to Monty. "Someone. Around. Who could. I don't know. Help."

"And these fortifications are good? Solid?"

"Bulletproof at least. I got them installed after Eleven broke free."

Monty ran a hand through his hair and shifted his weight to one side. Fillip bit his lip.

"Okay. I will. If that's okay. For a while, at least."

Fillip nodded quickly. Monty took a deep breath in, interlacing his fingers behind his head to facilitate a calming effect. He sighed it out slowly. There was nothing else to do, then, at the moment. His time would come, but if what Fillip said was true, then he was most useful here, hidden, where few people would know his location. It wouldn't last, of course. But for now, it would do.

He stepped forward and pulled Fillip into a hug, pressing the man's face into his chest. "Thank you for your generosity, Fillip. I will remember it always." Fillip seemed a bit flustered when released, so Monty took that as his cue to wander off. "Coffee's in the kitchen, you said?"

[lunarmote]

Why I review films (as a noob?) 2/3

This is part 2 of this topic. Part 1 covers points one & two.

3. I gravitate towards the interdisciplinary

Point three. I’m a shapeshifter.

Something I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m not easily taken by the idea of belonging to a group, and more than that, I make an active effort to resist being complacent in my beliefs. This shows up as perpetual agnosticism. I have more fun doing this, first off, and I feel like I learn more in the crossfire.

When it comes to storytelling, I think that films occupy a unique crossroads where they combine the visuals of still picture with diegetic sound and non-diegetic music and the sequential coherence of any other “story” medium. This makes it such that there are just so many different ways of viewing film that I can’t imagine getting bored — and even then, you could always jump to a higher level of abstraction and ask why one should analyze film, at all.

Thus, I start watching something like Goodfellas and notice that contrary to expectations, I really like it! I start by exploring Scorsese’s style: his compositions, slo-mos, voice-over dialogue. Then I start wondering what his other films are like; if this stylistic flourish developed out of something in his personal life. At some point I reach a dead end and ask why I thought I wouldn’t like Goodfellas, deconstructing the crime film — did I expect all these stories to follow the same arc?

All art is connected

I have thought all forms of art were interconnected for as long as I can remember, such that when my friend asked me what I was doing reviewing moving pictures/cinematography as a static 2D artist, I was a little short of words. To me, painting, music, theater, slam poetry, film, are all various forms of storytelling, which requires curation by an expert eye. 

To convey “heartbreak,” the singer imagines the buildup of tension and vocalizes it. The filmmaker thinks of a catalogue of scenes that when threaded together in the right order and are given their proper screen time, stirs something in the viewer. An illustrator turns to shape and color language, predicting their uptake in the viewer. A rounded periwinkle object folding inside itself conveys a different heartbreak to a black object split in half by a red thorny object. The illustration’s context is in space and not time.

You can find associations in everything. We need not stay within the borders of “art.” We can talk about the role art should play in society by turning to philosophy. What sort of messages should the artist and curator be trying to promote, but also, should we take authorial intention into account at all, or should the meaning of art depend entirely on the viewer?

I had a conversation with a vegan on whether or not movies should feature characters eating meat. Their stance was that they shouldn’t because it [ostensibly] normalizes animal abuse. But my stance was that context matters — to depict a culture in which meat-eating is so entrenched, you must take off your prescriptive goggles and observe the way things really are. How would you even refer to the problem otherwise?

My problem with art criticism

I believe being open and adventurous is important to understanding art of any kind.

I have some problems with the way art criticism is taught on an institutional level. I believe criticism/analysis is a skill that must be trained by going through many disparate examples. You start by analyzing a small cluster of things, drawing a conclusion. Then, you analyze a completely separate group and draw a separate conclusion. Then, you make the conclusions confront each other, and see if you can draw an overarching conclusion. The clash of ideas is crucial because from the ashes, a synthesis emerges.

But because there is no systematic way of teaching critique in schools, the classes you take are always something specific in time and place and ideology (e.g. early 20th-century feminist film). What happens is you get is a lot of pupils who are brand-spanking-new to any kind of analysis learning to associate the initial act of analyzing per se with the ideological lens of their first class. Bad professors are all too eager to “forget” to disentangle the two because they have everything to gain from it.

I do not want to claim these individual lenses are misguided. What I am pointing out is that, there seems to be very little room for the student to engage with art-as-is without being told there is some way they should be interpreting the art. One of the loveliest things about art is its ability to contain contradictions and speak to different people across the pond, but this naïve openness of the student is treated as almost a bad thing, something to be weeded out.

A personal experience

I took a pop culture class where one of the first things we learned was the Bechdel test. If you’re unfamiliar with the Bechdel test, it asks whether there are two women in a film talking at least once about something other than a man. I’m happy that that professor asked us to apply it to our favorite movies because we had some good group discussions on the way media perpetuates gender stereotypes. 

What I didn’t like was that the professor ended there. Rather than using this to promote further discussion on art’s descriptive vs. prescriptive use and asking if/how a film can be redeemed even when it fails the Bechdel test (i.e. rather than saying this was but one metric), the professor clearly wanted to talk about misogyny and the dearth of female directors. 

There was no room for the student to think something other than “these films are problematic; therefore, they are bad” because we were not given any other tools.

I had another wonderful professor freshman year whom I will address right now: I would like you to think a bit about what exactly you’re doing when, at the same time that you criticize power structures, you impose your own template of “art” on students who are powerless to fight back. I would like to ask you what is meritorious about claiming all of art for one way of thought. It is completely irresponsible to teach the conclusion and not the thought process that led to said conclusion. Teach the debate over canon itself and then give students the chance to discover their own opinion!

What does it come down to?

I didn’t mean for this to end on an impersonal note. To tie this back to “Why do I bother viewing media/art/film as someone who is not formally trained?” I believe ultimately it comes down to will, regardless of where you receive your art education. There’s so much importance in consuming and questioning that the possibility of discovering truths for oneself shouldn’t be gatekept. 

I also feel like learning in a formal school setting can give you many benefits but isn’t without faults, which is also something I feel is not really talked about. So far, I’ve been doing okay.