#i really do have more thoughts but these are what's coherent at the mo

[slightlyunconventional]

its 2am and op needs sleep (2.1k)

hi d/abihawks nation here is your food for the day (more to come in the foreseeable) aaand yeah. this is from an ask i got that i didn’t answer with this because it had three parts to it and i wanted to actually do all three ?? idk. anyway if youre the anon who asked for d/abi inducing with his piercings then this is for you :)

The fuck kind of time to wake up is this? Dabi thought, squinting at the digital alarm clock beside the bed. 4:16AM, it reads. Still dazed, he rolled over with a huff and got ready to go the fuck back to sleep - until it hit him.

“Jesus fucking Christ-” he hissed, as an itch that felt like wildfire crashed into his sinuses like a freight train, rendering him unable to form a coherent thought for a good few seconds. He sat up. The motion somehow made the burn triple in intensity. He scrunched up his nose forcefully, waiting for it to succumb, for the itch to peak, but it didn’t. It felt like it was taking over his entire face, an incessant buzzing that wouldn’t back down, half-closing his eyes and forcing him to keep his nose held in a permanently-crinkled position. Dabi dared to rub at it, knuckles pushing back and forth rather aggressively, and instantly regretted what he’d done. The contact seemed to set alight a million different nerve endings, and he decided he couldn’t take it anymore.

“Fuck me,” Dabi managed to breathe out. He stood up and made his way to the bathroom, the whole way squinting against the inferno plaguing his nose. The burn was near unbearable now, like flames licking at the tender inner walls of his nostrils, yet still nothing came of it. Even switching on the horrendously bright bathroom light in Hawks’ apartment, which usually managed to tease a sneeze or two from him, had no effect. Christ, he just wanted to go back to sleep. Eyes narrowing further due to the harsh transition from dark to light, Dabi moved to the sink and turned on the faucet. With a deep breath in, he splashed the cold water on his face a few times, and gave his full face a rather aggressive scrub with both hands for good measure. He stood up to find it had done absolutely nothing, and now he just had a wet face. Awesome. Why, for the love of fuck, was this happening? he thought in frustration. Could it have picked a more inconvenient time?

He grabbed a towel and dried off his face, rubbing with particular force at his nose (though still keeping low expectations that it would actually make a damn difference). The itch burned with ferocity, but remained stagnant; Dabi just wished it would either do something or piss off. For a man who normally despised sneezing - everything about it, the feeling, the loss of control, the vulnerability of it all - he seemed pretty desperate to do it now. He was running out of options, and he sure as hell wasn’t about to go wake up Hawks and make him stick a feather up his nose. There was probably a box of tissues in here, somewhere, he was sure, judging by how awful Hawks’ allergies got in the spring… bingo. It didn’t take long to find, just a few moments of staring into the medicine cupboard with one hand knuckling absently at the side of his nose. The dark-haired man pulled a few from the box, irritated, and sat down on the edge of the bathtub. The ever-present itch had his nostrils practically pulsing with need, and a handful of tissues suddenly pushed up to his nose really didn’t help. Hell, it was almost stinging now, and it was torturous.

“Shit,” Dabi breathed, as he began to rub his nose in slow, deliberate circles through the tissues. The sensation was all-consuming - he became completely laser-focused on the way the itch prickled ever so slightly with his movements. It was like the light at the end of a tunnel. He just had to will it to rise in intensity, just enough to make him– “...h-hhuh!” His breath caught, even if only slightly. Fuck, he was close, so damn close. In his mind he was begging for it, for relief, and he daren’t even move, for fear of losing the– damn it. The sting backed down just as quickly as it had come about, forcing Dabi to let out the breath he was holding in a short, irritated sigh. He couldn’t just go back to bed, not while this itch was still wreaking havoc in his face. But, it wasn’t like he had many choices left. The only thing he knew that really set him off was cats, and he was fairly sure bathrooms didn’t come preinstalled with a litter of kittens. Stubborn as ever, he refused to just give up and go sleep again - but what could he really do? Sit and wait it out, hoping it would just go away? Or go back to trying to make himself- hold on. Dabi suddenly remembered the absolute mess he’d been when he first pierced his nose (in this very bathroom, as a matter of fact). The needle had hardly been halfway through the cartilage before his chest was stuttering with rapid hitching breaths that had very quickly turned into fits of desperately itchy (and bloody) sneezes, untameable to the point where he had no input in the, well, output. He’d simply had to sit and let them barrel through him in awful tickly waves. He didn’t know why he’d sat through three rounds of that just for a triple nose piercing. One would have been plenty. 

Dabi pushed himself up from the edge of the bath, binned his tissues, and moved back to the sink. He stared at himself in the mirror for a moment, running a tired hand over his face and sighing. His hand brushed lightly against the side of his nose, sending jolts up his sinuses, and he decided he couldn’t tolerate another second of such torment. The thought to pierce his nose again flitted briefly through Dabi’s mind, but was quickly dismissed. Imagine how that would go down. “Hey, you’ve got another piercing,” Hawks would say. “Oh, yeah, I had to sneeze really fucking badly last night so I did what any sane person would do - gave myself a fourth nose piercing!” Dabi rolled his eyes at the thought. He went for the next best thing - messing around with his current piercings to try and make something happen.

He leaned in closer to the bathroom mirror, well aware that he looked an absolute sight for sore eyes, red-rimmed nostrils and an oversized t-shirt hanging awkwardly around his frame proving an… interesting combination. Christ, what am I doing, he thought, as he took a silver stud between his fingers and began to twist it - and, hell, the effect was instantaneous. Immediately, the tickle reared its head, intensified tenfold from before, and all but consumed him. There was nothing he could do to stop his jaw from slackening, his eyes from fluttering shut, his nostrils from flaring to nearly twice their size– “Shit, shit, s-shiihh–!”

Breaths rising in his chest, pitchy and desperate, Dabi let out a string of curses and stumbled backward, almost losing his balance as the need to sneeze took over him such that he couldn’t possibly think about anything else. He braced a hand against the edge of the sink to keep upright, drew in an immense gasp, and pitched forward at the waist– “hh’hhahH’DDSHHhhew! Hohhh, God, fuck me…” The sneeze that followed was harsh, scraping, and instantly relieving. But Dabi soon found that he was nowhere near done, and snapped forward with a trio of back-to-back sneezes, equally intense as the first.

“huhH’HDJJSHHh! ‘gGKSHHh’uh! hah’DSHHh’iew!” He straightened up to try and catch his breath, but his nose tingled in a way which meant there was guaranteed to be more sneezing to come. He was about to cast his gaze up to the light fixture on the ceiling to try and coax it out prematurely, until he saw a glimpse of red in his peripheral vision - Hawks. Shit. How long had he been standing there? Dabi looked at him, unsure of what to say. The hero was sure to have a barrage of questions for him, he could already imagine it: Are you getting sick? Allergic to something? Oh my god–is it me? Did I use a new… something? I’m so sorry, are you okay? He was leaning on the doorframe in a loose-fitting shirt that Dabi had sacrificed (cut holes in the back of to accommodate Hawks’ wings) and wearing an expression that was a blend of sympathy and amusement. Dabi opened his mouth to speak.

“Bless you,” Hawks said, with a lopsided smile, before Dabi had the chance to say anything.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean t-to… wake you up,” he replied. Fuck, he still needed to sneeze.

Hawks exhaled a little laugh. “It’s okay. You were sneezing pretty damn loudly, it would have been hard not to.” He took a few steps forward and wrapped his hands around Dabi’s arm, absentmindedly rubbing tiny circles with his thumbs.

“Are you okay?” he asked, more of that sympathy now shining through. As predicted, questions. “Yeah, I– fuck, I-I, hhah– needtosneezeagaiihHGKSHHhew!” He sniffled, then used his free hand to rub his nose, hard. “No idea what it is, just… started.” At least it was partially true. He did have no idea what it was, but he wasn’t about to admit to Hawks that he’d actually been trying to make himself sneeze for the best part of half an hour. Hawks frowned. “Bless you,” he said again. “You aren’t sick? A cold, maybe?” There it was again. “No, dumbass, it’s May.” “Who says you can’t get colds when it’s not winter? I get colds when it’s not winter!” Hawks said indignantly. Dabi huffed a laugh. “Yeah, that’s you though. Your immune system’s shi-sh-hhahH’dDTSHHh’uh! Shit.” “Shut up,” Hawks said, swatting his arm. “Sounds pretty itchy.” Dabi pulled a face at that. “Sounds itchy? How can– how– Jesus, fuck, always when I’m trying to t-talk…” “Bless you-!” Hawks said prematurely, tipping his head to the side. “-hhHRRSHHHhew!” The smile on Hawks’ face widened. God, Dabi had thought this would just be one and done, but now he couldn’t seem to stop. It was as if he’d opened some metaphorical floodgates in his sinuses just by twisting his nose studs a bit, and released sneeze after terribly violent sneeze. It would be infinitely easier to deal with without his overly enthusiastic witness, that was for certain. He couldn’t say it wasn’t at least a little endearing, though, in some bizarre way. “I don’t think I’ve ever heard you sneeze this much before,” observed Hawks, in such a tone that made the statement sound like it was some earth shattering discovery (It wasn’t. Dabi was eternally thankful that Hawks had never bore witness to the explosive fits he got when cats were part of the equation).

From behind the hand scrubbing at his still-burning nose, Dabi raised an eyebrow. “Right…?” he said slowly, “Is that supposed to h-hah–!” This was getting ridiculous. He pinched his nose tightly, brows furrowed and eyes nearly shut. Absolutely not. “There’s no point holding it in now that I’m awake, you know,” Hawks said, a mildly teasing tone creeping into his voice. “Just wanna get a full f-fucking… hhuh– sentence out-! hh’ehHDSZZHhew! h-hhH’RSCHhh’uh!” “Bless you, bless you,” Hawks moved closer towards Dabi, evidently starting to feel drowsy again after having been out of bed, judging by the way he rubbed lazily at his eyes with one hand. “What were you gonna say?” “What?” “Before you sneezed again. What were you gonna say?” Dabi averted his eyes. “I don’t remember.” Hawks snickered quietly. “S’okay… you gonna come back to bed? I’m getting cold,” he said, his head now resting on Dabi’s arm. “Not your personal heater,” was the response, punctuated with an irritated sniffle. Hawks shook his head. “Whatever.”

“Even so, I don’t think you’d really want, well…” Dabi gestured vaguely at his face. He didn’t particularly want to say it out loud. “I don’t mind,” the hero replied softly, “I just want you to get some sleep. Besides, the pink nose is a cute look on you.” He added the last part with a wink, and it earned him a rather affronted scoff and a flick to the forehead. “Fine, let me just–” Dabi pulled a couple of tissues from the box and blew his nose with some force. It seemed to shift something high in his sinuses, which of course triggered a sneeze. The floodgates really had opened. “hh’hehHDDSHHhiew! Jesus Christ, can’t catch a break…” Hawks hummed. “Bless you,” he mumbled again, before starting to lead Dabi out of the bathroom and back to their bed. He paused, however, halfway to the door, and turned around. With a nod towards the tissue box on the counter, he said, “You’d better bring those with you.”

[madrone33]

THE WISDOM SAGA IS OUT AHHHH

It was SO much better than I anticipated. Like, I knew it'd be amazing to listen to - 'cause practically all of Jorge's stuff is - but I was less attached to Telemachus as a character than Ody, so while I was settled in for a fun time I wasn't as invested as I had been for the previous sagas.

Little. Did. I. Know.

HOW DO THE SAGAS JUST KEEP BEING SO GOOD LIKE WHAT JORGE DO YOU SLEEP

Anyway, now that it's officially out for everyone, here's 1000+ words worth of excited screeching/rambling/word vomit from my immediate reaction to the audio, when it released at midnight for me! (I'm australian, so I got it 15 hours ahead of the americans lol, but also means I hadn't seen the animatics from the Live at this point)

Also, heads up there's a lot of swearing and I wasn't very coherent, 'cause my brain-to-type filter was non-existent at midnight while in the middle of a HYPE adrenaline rush lol

I feel so awake rn, even though it's midnight lol.

Started smiling as soon as I heard him. He sounds so GOOD!! MICO you're knocking it out of the park!

"Come and give me a sign!" Ayyy the Athena motif!!

Ooh they merged MICO's audition way of saying "if you're dead... or just tooo far"!

"Can I do whatever I takes to keep my mum safe?" aww don't worry bebe Athena's coming!

"Where is the man who'll have to wife?" ooh they really did use the Man of the House lines!

And they dropped that it's been 20 years! That's good, a proper timeline needed to be established at this point or newcomers might get confused.

ohhh shit! That growled "Boy!"

(Also, edit from after I watched the Livestream: HE DID NOT JUST THROW A BOWL AT MY BOY OH HELL NO-)

"Why don't you open her room so we can" oh FUCK OFF ANTINOUS!

oh the LINE! The CHAMP line!

"If I fight this monster" THS MONSTER! It changed from those monsters to this monster, because while he might be having fun thinking of conquering distant monsters out in the world, the real monster is living in his home and he needs his father's strength more than ever and AHHH

(Another edit from post Live: he decided to fight for his mum's honour and thought he'd get a beatdown or DIE in the attempt and STILL put his fists up oh my goddd!! And also, HIM STEPPING INTO THE SPIRIT OF HIS FATHER AHHH)

Ok I hate Antinous already. Like, I really love his voice, it's perfect, Ayron did amazing, but Antinous? What the FUCK! FUCK HIM! And I decided I love Telemachus. He sounds so helpless in that last line 🥺 ATHENA STEP IN!

Listening to Little Wolf now! Oh god I'm scared for Tele

(Edit post Live: YOOO IT'S FULL ON STREET FIGHTER STYLE!)

"Wanna entertain me?" oh EW Antinous!

I just have a permanent stink face on rn lol

"Wanna entertain me?" Still ew, but also aww he didn't do the growl like in the demo

Clock sound effect! ATHENA!!!

she's giving TE/MO type vocal vibes, more than Act 1 Athena lol

"What's going on here??" lmao he's confused about Quick-Thought, like ody wasn't

"Uppercut him. Now." AYYYY FIGHT ADVICE

she's doing the verse melody but for him!

wait what'd she say? "I've no respect for bullies! Those who [something something] will!"

SHE CALLED HIM A DOG HA! What's a dog to a wolf hey antinous >:)

"One young wolf has a larger heart than all these men combined!" awww Athena <3

YES!! SHE'S SINGING THE CHORUS BUT IN HIS FAVOUR!!

the HARMONIES!!

"Oooh, maybe I pushed you a bit too hard..." lol she's too used to ody who is used to her

oh FUCK OFF antinous!

"Tell me, Athena, why you came to my aid..." wait WAIT HE SUNG THE "what keeps you up so late at night myyy friend?" MELODY??? HOLY SHIT!!

Ok that was awesome. We'll Be Fine time!

SHE CALLED ODY HER FRIEND!!

OMG SHE'S DOING THE "MIIIND" RIFF!!

awww she regrets <3

NO THE "SLEEP AT NIGHT" CALLING BACK TO ALL THOSE TIME ODY COULDN'T SLEEP FROM REGRET

omg but her HIGH notes

ooh? 👀 The line changed from "sailed to an island" to "and I didn't die?? What does this mean for HTD's "I heard he's on a diplomatic mission" line?

oh now HIS high notes!!

THEIR HARMONIES!!

awww their motifs mixing! <3 <3

(Edit post Live: lmao him trying to lean on her shoulder and accidentally falling through her instead XD)

Well that was nice! Time for LIP... What am I in for bro

AHA I was RIGHT! The music from the cover art reveal IS here at the start of this song!

OH HOLY HSIT NOT HIS "REMEMBER ME" OMG WAIT GO BACK

The "ohhhh" motif from Remember Them!

TIME DIVE! WITH LYRICS!

oh yo! THESE scenes! We called the Sirens, Scylla, and Thunder Bringer on the discord, but the lines that are being used are INTERESTING

(Edit post Live: the animatics are going CRAZY this saga!)

calypso time...

Ooh calypso's voice is much gentler than the snippets! (I'm determined to not let my bias against her character in the Odyssey colour how I feel about her performance, because Wangui is a lovely person, and her voice is beautiful.)

lmao the awkwardly long pause and then "... ANWAYS!" is always funny XD

the electronic elements when she reveals what she is!

"Time can take a heavy toll." uh oh what's that mean

Damn not the "all I hear are screams"-

...

... holy fuck. Um. My jaw literally dropped what. What. Ok first, her "ody" fuck that. Second, the LEDGE?? Um. UM. I need to rewind please

Oh shit

Oh my goddd JUST LET HIM GO

NOT THE OPEN ARMS NO WHAT THE FUCK NOT POLITES OMG EURYLOCHUS OH FUCK ANTICLEA TOO OH SHIT

no him calling for athena! 😭

the slow clock omgggg

YES GO HELP HIM HE NEEDS HELP

... wait I need to rewind wait shit I'm shaking

ok. Pause. That was.

I guess I called correctly, but it turned out to be a BIT of an understatement when I said there'd be an UNEXPRECTED EMOTIONAL MOMENT! What the FUCK. Oh god that was incredible and I teared up and ah fuck wtf fuck who gave him the RIGHT

TIme for God Games. Shit. Am I ready for Beast Mode Zeus??? No. But I'm doing it anyway! :D

ok that was beautiful. Also her calling him "father" was unexpected but welcome

"... Odysseus." commander motif!!

god I love his voice but I hate him

ok I love how he says "AphroDITE!" I'm smiling, I'm getting into this

also, wait why does he say "or" instead of "and" like the snippets did?

The voice teasers! Ah shit I can't believe I'm going to HEAR THEIR VERSES IN A FEW SECONDS WHAT. Also Hera's voice is VERY interesting!

Apollo? YO?? Wait wait I have to go back and actually listen to the words lmao his voice is cool!

oh the sirens??

Huh. I... don't really get that logic? Athena just said "yeah but they had it coming and now they'll know better" and he replied "understandable have a nice day"?

wow what is that accent? Lemme go back and understand lol

damn those went by quick. Also, not what I'd thought their issues would be. Tho I think someone called the sirens one!

ooh wait I've always loved aphrodite's, this is BEAUTIFUL. I need to go back to the start of the song so I can get her full impact after pausing so much.

ohhh she's the first one to reject athena!

Ares!!

"HOLD YOUR TONGUE NOW! HIS SON'S MY FRIEND!"oop you done fucked up ares

oh I LIKE hera's voice! It's kinda airy but still hella powerful!

damn my jaw hurts from smiling

I hear cheering 👀

ohhh THAT'S what he meant by "or"! Athena was supposed to face either the five gods or Zeus?

"You DARE to defy me!" DAMN Zeus! That growl!

THUNDER BRINGER CHORUS!

lightning bolt to the face lmao

oh? The Wotm motif?

wait. Is the. Is this the "anime character on brink of death thinks of their friends and powers up" moment???

(Edit post Live: shit, zeus. Someone call CPS)

"Let him go..." oh wait that's IT?? NO WHAT SHIT

... lemme hear that end bit again.

WAIT reading through the comments and JORGE'S DAD VOICES HEPHAESTUS?? HOLY SHIT THAT'S EPIC! Now we just need his sister lol.

Oh that's right, I can see the cast now! Brandon McInnis as Apollo, POSEY as Hera, and Mike Rivera as Hephaestus. Nice.

It's 1 am now. Holy shit that was a wild ride. Damn. Hats off to Jorge and all the cast and editors and EVERYONE, that was absolutely incredible!! 💙🙌🏼🎉

... but also JORGE! WHEN I CATCH YOU JORGE-

[gffa]

Ok over on the discord we're invested in your 9-1-1 journey and agree 100% with your assessments, but we NEED to hear your thoughts on Mr. Eddie Diaz, esp his introduction, like I still cackle that this weewoo show actually introduced a new character half-naked in slow-mo with "Whatta Man" playing in the background (and I'm sure you've figured this out but it's him and Buck that's the giant ship).

I have struggled to put my 911 thoughts into coherence because there are two giant blaring sirens going off in my brain whenever I think about this series: 1) 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 ANGELA BASSETT🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 How am I supposed to care about anything else on this show when Angela Bassett is there, being stunning and delivering a performance that's top tier every single time??? Okay, I'm being tongue-in-cheek about it, but genuinely Athena is my favorite character and the one I'm most emotionally invested in, the one that it's hard for me to look away from. It helps that I'm also deeply fond of Peter Krause because I watched Sports Night and loved him in that a lot, so connecting Bobby to Athena's story has been a double shot of my faves. 2) I AM LAUGHING SO HARD BECAUSE I'M SURE THEY DON'T MEAN IT BUT WHAT IS UP WITH THE WAY THEY ARE STRUCTURING THE BUDDIE DYNAMIC? Introducing a character with "Whatta Man" playing is hilarious, but even more hilarious to me is the way their arcs are kind of thematically running parallel to each other. Buck's whole character arc is about him feeling finally ready to grow up, to take on the scary parts of relationships that include responsibilities towards other people and being genuinely emotionally available, that was the entire point of getting close to Abby, who came with her sick mother that was always going to be part of her life. So, Abby leaves, then along comes Eddie who has a kid that he takes his responsibilities for very seriously, where it's not intentional to intersect with Buck's arc, but then they have them immediately interacting in a way that neither character does as much with any other character, conflicting at first, but then opening up and being real with each other and I'm sitting here going, "If one of these dudes was a lady, the way Buck just stared at Eddie with his kid, they would 100% be signally that this was building subtext." I can't say I'm deeply emotionally invested in them yet (see my Angela Bassett Problem), but it's been a wild ride watching them interact and going, wow, are they doing this on purpose? Because they sure clicked really fast. *eyebrow raise* Bonus thoughts: I knew Chimney/Maddie was going to be a thing beforehand, so do I like them because they're cute or because I was primed for them? Who knows, but they're cute! I love that they brought back Tatiana and I have to say, maybe she was kinda cold, but I was 100% on her side, because she was right. She didn't love him and if she'd gotten pulled into that, she'd have been expected to drop her entire life to be at his bedside and that's not what she wanted, I love that the show was so gentle with her and Chimney's reunion and realization that they sparked each other into realizing they each needed to get on a new path. I love that Hen got to be complicated and almost left her ex to die because it would have saved her a lot of hassle and she really hated her, but ultimately was a hero, yesssss, let queer women be complicated, messy, and ultimately heroic!

[miixz]

Okay this will be rambly as it's been too long since I've tried to put my thoughts in a coherent meta sort of thing, but I've come to the conclusion I might like how the whipping is treated in erha.

(for anyone following the official english release, beware of spoilers ahead)

It was something that threw me off at first and made me doubt I'd ever really like Chu Wanning, I even compared him to Shen Jiu around that time, but looking back at it having read erha in its entirety I can look at it with a different perspective.

While I do like how having Chu Wanning whip Mo Ran so early on helps present him as the terrible teacher of Mo Ran's altered memories and deceive the reader, I think it's also an interesting side of him as a character that he did that in the first place. To me, it seems that Chu Wanning is one of the people who have bought into the myth of physical punishment which seems to exist in his society. It's not a belief shared by everyone, Mo Ran certainly doesn't buy into it, but it isn't a belief Chu Wanning seems to have taken from within himself or even one that he fully agrees with. 

There are rules on Sisheng Peak which include whipping as a punishment, we see this as the system Chu Wanning uses as a guideline to base his decisions on, not only for Mo Ran but himself as well. His punishments aren't chosen entirely on a whim. 

Chu Wanning looked up to shoot him a glare. The Jielü Elder shut up. “In accordance with the rules, the punishment for this transgression is two hundred strikes, three days of protracted kneeling in Yanluo Hall, and three months of confinement,” Chu Wanning stated. “I do not dispute the transgression, and I am prepared to receive the punishment.” Dumbfounded, the Jielü Elder glanced left and right, then curled his finger. The doors to the Discipline Court closed with a thud, leaving only the two of them standing face-to-face in the silence. “What is the meaning of this?” said Chu Wanning. “How do I say this… Yuheng Elder, it’s not like you don’t know—the rules may be rules, but they don’t really apply to you. The doors are closed; this stays between you and I. What say we just let it slide? If I actually strike you and the sect leader finds out, he’ll have my old hide.” Chu Wanning didn’t feel like wasting his breath, so he simply said, “I hold others to the rules, and I will hold myself to the same.”

Now, that doesn't excuse him, I wouldn't say that's what the story is trying to say and I'm not either. It's more that to me that's part of what makes it forgivable when to other characters it isn't.

There are characters like Madam Yu from MDZS who are clearly using that punishment excessively and unnecessarily, out of cruelty, which I can't forgive. Chu Wanning, however, I'd say is more misguided, which earns him a different approach.

Although he doesn't look remorseful when we first see him whip Mo Ran, we learn later that he was and tried to make up for it in his own awkward way. One of Chu Wanning's most defining traits is his immaturity (in my interpretation anyhow), he is a man that was raised not to be his own person and hasn't been living with others for all that long and it shows.

Huaizui seems to only have taught Chu Wanning shallowly, to the point of lying about the state of the world outside, because he was never meant to be his own person who has complex relationships with others. It makes sense though, why would he do that when Chu Wanning was only a vessel for someone else's soul?

So when it comes to making those difficult decisions, like how to discipline his disciples, he is sometimes lacking and refers to the guidelines that he has. With whipping being an acceptable punishment in his sect and his own issues with anger, I see how he arrived at that punishment at times.

It's an awful thing to do, but I like how it's a mistake that humanizes him and explores his upbringing and the places where he falls short.

And Chu Wanning himself knows, on some level, that this is the wrong way to go. That's why he feels guilty and makes Mo Ran wontons to apologize, but he lacks the ability to choose another course of action, most likely because he's never been taught how.

(And this is something that he does improve on somewhat throughout the book, especially in regards to how he treats Mo Ran, who challenges him to think about these difficult questions and to work on his emotions the most.)

In the end, I think Chu Wanning is someone who truly wants to be a good teacher and a good person that help others, which he does often achieve, but sometimes he is held back from that by his own shortcomings which themselves are connected with the ways in which he's been failed by others (especially those who were meant to care for him).

[scarletfasinera]

Any thoughts on the recent revival of Scarlet Fasinera?

If by "recent" you mean issue #8 of MacKay's 2021 Moon Knight series, I actually have mixed feelings that I think about often.

Firstly, I think the design is dope, and there is some potential for cool things to be done with the character. But I don't think it's very LIKELY that Scarlet will be taken up in her current form in any kind of interesting way.

Like in all honesty, I think killing her and turning her into a minor god was more damning for her character than anything, as it sticks her in this weird place where she's actually less versatile than her original form. When there's less options for what can be done with a character, people just aren't as likely to touch that character. I'd love to be wrong though.

I want to know how this godhood has impacted her on a deeper level, because I'm a bit scared of just how much dehumanizing her can change her character for the worst.

Scarlet was a human, she had severe trauma, complex emotions, passions, idiosyncrasies. She was eccentric and clearly mentally impacted by her trauma, but she was still clear-headed enough to be able to coherently moralize & justify her actions in a manner that was meant to be sympathetic. She was an excellent narrative foil for Moon Knight, given how their differences complement each other just as much as their similarities do. In truth, it was largely her humanity that drew me to her as a character. She had a realistic criticism of the world that harmed her, and this was on purpose. She fits well into Moench's theme of the overall greyness of morality in Moon Knight's life.

So, how does this death and godhood REALLY impact her? Does it strengthen or weaken her convictions by putting them on a plane of gods rather than that of humankind?

I also do think it was a mistake to give that story to Hunter's Moon instead of Moon Knight, though I understand there was probably editorial shenanigans involved in that, as well as a need to cement Dr. Badr into the canon as a character in his own right. Don't get me wrong, I thought the issue was mostly "fine" as far as the writing goes on a technical level. I don't much like the little note that Scarlet's MO has changed so much that she's just killing people at random apparently, which leans in a direction I don't like for Scarlet, but "a story changes in the telling" I suppose. I wasn't bothered by her actual voice in the speaking parts of the issue where she's present as a character. I also liked that it kept Scarlet's story ultimately open-ended, and I liked the "gods are stories" theming.

I want to like it. I do trust MacKay from all I've seen, and I hope she wasn't just a one-off easter egg that gets thrown away after use, never to be seen again. I want to like it, but I have apprehensions, and the more time goes by since that issue, the bigger those apprehensions grow.

And I also just, like, miss her.

[mischief-lies-and-stories]

Loki Episode 1 Reactions (Less Coherent Edition)

It's been two and a half years, y'all, and what a start to the new season it was. (I've seen mixed reviews in the tag, but personally the initial reaction is I loved it.) What I apparently forgot in those two years, however, is that my in-the-moment reactions notes are not very coherent. So I apologize in advance if you aren't sure what part the note refers to. I'm going to make another post tomorrow with some more coherent thoughts around the episode and some predictions about the season in general (I'm also going to be rewatching the episode later so that might lend more clarity to the next post as well). I also cut out a chunk of my reactions that were just me screaming a character's name when they showed up, unless it makes sense for the next note to leave it in (and there were a lot of these, since it's been two and a half years since I've seen my friends).

Obligatory spoiler warning if you weren't already expecting them. Prepare for some wildness. I've bracketed [ ] some brief clarifying post-ep notes (not everywhere though).

I'm obnoxious, I'm watching the entire recap.

The editing of this recap is interesting.

The bleak theme is worrying. I don't like it. But I do love the color scheme of the logo.

SYLVIE???!!!

CASEY!!!

Okay hopefully that wasn't Sylvie.

Someone give this boi [Loki] a nap. He's had a very very very long day and it's only getting longer.

What the fuck is happening.

X-5 you've got the haircut of a cop, I've decided I don't like you.

Man, I hope we fix this time-slipping in this episode, it's stressing me out too fucking much.

Oh motherfuck. This is driving me insane. This is Sisyphean torture. [I don't remember what specifically I was referring to, so I don't remember if this is an accurate description.]

OH MY GOD I LOVE LIZ CARR I HOPE SHE STICKS AROUND [Man, Liz Carr is just hopping from franchise to franchise this summer. She's in Loki, Good Omens, The Witcher)

OH SHIT. Renslayer and Kang. If they kiss on tape I'm marking it on the Bingo.

I DESPERATELY want to know what B-15's backstory is. She's a fantastic character and I want to know how she used this personality on the timeline.

Keep that Hitler youth-looking fuck away from my girl!

Oh my god, I'm going to be watching this conversation in the hall between Loki and Mobius over and over, because I love every part of it. The panicking, the teasing, the touching, the making each other feel better. Just the entire debriefing, reuniting conversation is EVERYTHING to me right now.

"In order to do that I need a Loki Who Remains." I love this

"I have no memory of having my memory wiped." Mobius. This is Catherine Tate on Nevermind the Buzzcocks telling David Tennant "I don't know songs I've never heard of" solidarity [I understand I'm making obscure 13+ year old references but this quote lives in my head rent free]

Ugh I HATE time travel. But it makes sense why his name is OB now. Also his door is a circle.

OB IF YOU KILL LOKI I WILL END YOUR CUTE BESPECTACLED FACE FASTER THAN YOU CAN SAY "No...wait."

OB IF YOU KILL MOBIUS I WILL PERSONALLY FLAY THE SKIN FROM YOUR OWN BONES

Mobius writing "skin" into the dust on the computer lololololol

WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING JUST LET LOKI CONFESS

OB I'M GOING TO KICK YOUR ASS IF ONE OF THESE BOYS EVEN SEEMS TO DIE AT THE END OF THIS EP

HOW IS HE GONNA HOOF IT BACK IF HE CAN BARELY CRAWL [I started getting really stressed at this point. It's pretty much caps lock from here on out.]

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD WE'RE GONNA END THIS EPISODE WITH MO BITING IT AND THEN LOKI FIXES IT IN EP TWO AND BRINGS HIM BACK

OR LOKI BITES IT AND THE OTHER WAY HAPPENS

THERE'S ELEVEN MINUTES LEFT BUT I DON'T TRUST MARVEL NOT TO MAKE ELEVEN MINUTES OF CREDITS

MARVEL DON'T MAKE ME CHECK OFF THE CRYING BOX [on the Bingo Card] ON EPISODE ONE

MARVEL

I WON'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP

MARVEL

LOKI

MOBIUS

LOKI

MOBIUS

SYLVIE MY DARLING MY PERFECT LOVE THANK YOU OH MY GOD

How wild is it that Loki comes flying back from the jaws of death itself and saves Mobius from getting his skin ripped off and they land on the floor of the TVA in each other's arms, and the first thing Loki does is bring up his ex-girlfriend [I wouldn't classify Sylvie as this, but I'm being tongue-in-cheek, and Mobius did accuse Loki of falling for himself in season 1, so]

OKAY BUT I WAS RIGHT THAT WAS SYLVIE AT THE BEGINNING [Before you reply, remember I can't respond to those, and also I forgot that was the past and at the end Loki's in the future. HOWEVER, I do still think that was Sylvie at the beginning.]

SHE IS IN BROXTON HELL YEAH WHOEVER FIGURED THAT OUT (I don't remember who that was) FOUR FOR YOU HOLY SHIT

Oh Sylvie :(((

[jafndaegur]

20 Questions for Writers

My beloved @chierafied tagged me in this so obvi I had to do <3

AO3 username: Jafndaegur

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 24 (most of my works are here on Tumblr ^^")

2. What’s your total AO3 word count? 244,262

3. What fandoms do you write for? Sesskag (Inuyasha), Mystic Messenger, Wangxian & various Mo Dao Zu Shi ships, Genshin Impact, Thunderbolt Fantasy, and the Hobbit.

4. What are your top five fics by kudos?

Blood Runs Thicker (The Hobbit) - Kudos: 791

Shatter Me (The Hobbit) - Kudos: 383

The Seventh Wonder (WangXian / MDZS) - Kudos: 347

Of Jade and Claw (ZhongItto / Genshin Impact) - Kudos: 247

Gravitational Fairytale (WangXian / MDZS) - Kudos: 209

5. Do you respond to comments? I really do try to. But I have a Goldfish Brain™, and typically forget that I've read a comment and never respond. 🙈

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? The angstiest ending??? I'm going to say it's tied between Blood Runs Thicker (The Hobbit) since it ends with Bilbo completely abandoning a Dwarven-given identity under the pretense that he was never loved and has to move on - and then a time when I'm without you (WangXian / MDZS), where Lan Wangji must deal with the fact that Wei Wuxian is actually dead and there's nothing he can do but grieve alone.

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? My happiest ending for a story is probablyyyy where's my angel (Mystic Messenger) or The Seventh Wonder (WangXian / MDZS). Granted if this was my Tumblr fics, there'd be WAY more fluff to pick from - my favorite being Fragile Duetto (Mystic Messenger).

8. Do you get hate on fics? Not really. If I do, any hate is on my old Hobbit fics which were basically abandoned after a serious bout of online bullying back when I was 14. It was a good time lol. I don't really go back to those fics.

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? Not often, and certainly only on special occasion. Any M-rated smut has never been published, though - and I certainly didn't put any on AO3. Only degenerate papapapapapa stuff here on the hellhole Tumblr platform uwu

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written? Oh absolutely! I started off fanfiction as a crossover writer on FFnet. My first fic was a very tame How to Train Your Dragon x Rise of the Guardians that got really popular. Since then tho, I think my craziest xover was a Mystic Messenger x Style Savvy crossover? The 2 universes together just make so much sense tho in my head lol.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? Not that I know of rofl I'm neither that good or that wellknown - although I wouldn't be surprised if any of my abandoned stuff got stolen.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? Again, not that I've known of.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before? Back in the old days on FFnet, I co-wrote a couple Hobbit stories, and a How to Train Your Dragon x Percy Jackson story. Idk what happened to them, they're in the abyss somewhere.

14. What’s your all time favorite ship? All time favorite ship? Objectively WangXian (Wei Wuxian / Lan Wangji). Subjectively? Bagginshield. I just go back to them when I'm depressed - they are a comfort ship for sure.

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish but doubt you ever will? As I am retired from fanfic writing, I doubt a lot of my fics will ever actually get finished. But Noise of Rain (Sesskag) is a story I dream of finishing - it's my female rage, villain arc redemption, true anti-hero love child. Maybe one day I'll come back to it.

16. What are your writing strengths? Long ago, I'd say exposition. Now it's definitely transformed into vignette romanticism, and dialogue (this has come from my recent influx of script writing though).

17. What are your writing weaknesses? Actually sitting down and writing. It's such a slow process for me and my brain runs too fast sometimes to be able to write something out coherently or the way I want to.

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic? Oh I absolutely adore it! It's a very fantasy trope to have different languages actually written in a story, but I'm HERE for it. I didn't take two years of linguistics to not include bits and pieces in a story.

19. First fandom you wrote for? As I mentioned earlier, it was for How to Train Your Dragon x Rise of the Guardians.

20. Favourite fic you’ve written? Oh I ABSOLUTELY have a favorite child. It's not popular (or finished, RIP), but I love it most by far - Shattered Euphony (ReZhong / Genshin Impact). I consider it one of my greatest works, both in original and fanfic writing. One day I will finish it.

Tagging @anon-drabble @reifromrfa (no pressure tho) and anyone else who'd like to join <3

[lurkingshan]

Make it Right 2

I have so many thoughts and feelings about this show that I'm struggling to decide where to start. I guess the best place is my overall impressions, which haven't changed since I finished the first series: I LOVE THIS SHOW AND I WILL DEFEND THESE CHARACTERS TO ANYONE. Fight me!

Now real talk, does this show have high production quality, smart writing and plotting, sharp editing, scene construction, and overall narrative consistency and coherence? No, it does not. It has none of those things, and a lot of them have gotten markedly worse from the first season. But all that barely phased me because the characters just hooked themselves right into my heart and wouldn't let go. This show is very very messy, but in the most lovable way ("LIKE GAY PEOPLE" - @bengiyo).

There were three main storylines that I was invested in for this second season. I will talk about them in order of least to most emotional investment.  @waitmyturtles @wen-kexing-apologist @manogirl tagging you to come back to this later after you finish your watches because I want to talk about ALL OF THIS. For anyone reading - major spoilers from here on out!!

Yok & Lukmo

Boy, I did not expect this romance, and I really liked it. Which came as a surprise, because I did not care much about Mo in the first series. I was more invested in Yok, but in season 1 he felt kind of removed from everyone else, which was of course by design. He felt apart from the other boys because he is different. And it was just really really lovely to see a femme gay character get to embrace who he is and be loved for it. I like that he was wary of Mo and tested him for awhile before he let him in, and that Mo did waver a bit when he was first challenged on whether he really was okay being in a gay relationship. That felt authentic to me, and only made it feel more solid when they came back together with Mo more confident in what he wanted. I also liked that in the end Yok's mom stepped up to take her kid's side and express her acceptance of who he is and his relationship - it was very sweet.

I do have to deduct some points here for that very tonally bizarre sex scene that got tacked on to the end of their story. The way that scene was directed, shot, and edited just didn't feel in line with their dynamic at all, and I spent most of it thinking we were in some kind of weird dream sequence. I did find it amusing though that these two were better with physical intimacy in their one scene than the leads ever managed across two full seasons.

Frame & Book

My beloveds!! They were my favorite part of season 1, and I still loved them here, though I think the show faltered a lot on their storyline in season 2. The ideas behind their arc - Book working through some past relationship trauma, dealing with the fallout of Book's public violation, Frame struggling to hang in as Book pushed him away - were all good. But the execution was pretty spotty. The entire arc needed some clearer storyboarding and a pacing and sequencing revamp. The choppy editing this season felt most evident to me in this storyline, where I often felt like scenes came abruptly out of nowhere or felt out of sequence, and emotional swings happened too fast to be believable. And I didn't love where the show ultimately took some of the resolutions with the ex-boyfriend (and the teacher who was apparently inviting his students for group sex parties??) but I can't say they aren't in line with this show's overall forgiving attitude toward whatever these boys get up to.

All that said, at the core of this storyline was Frame and Book struggling to endure a traumatic event together, figuring out how they need to show up for each other in those moments, and learning from their mistakes to become better communicators. All of that worked and fit the characters really well. I believed that Book would totally shut down and push Frame out in the face of public humiliation and deep shame. I believed Frame would try and try and try to get through to him but also experience moments of weakness where he would be tempted to just say fuck it and go back to the easier path of casual hookups. And though a lot of the journey to get there was sloppily executed, I believed that they would ultimately come out of that mess more committed and in love than before (I could have done without all the wedding talk though, they are 16 people!).

​Fuse & Tee

And here we come to the arc that frustrated and thrilled me in equal measure. FUSE YOU ABSOLUTE WANKER I WANT TO YEET YOU OFF A CLIFF AND ALSO GIVE YOU A GIANT HUG. I was deep in my feelings about this story all season. Fuse made me so mad, Tee made me so sad, and they both made me so happy in the end when they finally figured out their shit.

Fuse's storyline feels very familiar to a lot of early Thai bl. His inability to let go of his shitty girlfriend and his constant wavering between Jean and Tee was reminiscent of Phun in Love Sick (and would also be a dynamic repeated in other shows like Together with Me). The key difference for me, and what made it comparably more upsetting than in Love Sick, is that unlike Noh, Tee did not have his own other relationship to deal with or any ambivalence about whether he wanted to actually be together. Tee only ​wanted Fuse, and wanted commitment and fidelity from him, and watching Tee get increasingly depressed as he tried to be happy just getting what he could from Fuse, caught in a cycle of getting hope and then being rejected again, was so painful. And while he might not have been fully aware of how selfish and cruel he was being at first, eventually Fuse definitely saw how this was affecting Tee and came to understand he was the cause, and he still didn't stop fucking with him! I was so angry with him around the midpoint of the season, I just wanted Tee to dump him and start dating his little friend. 

What made it all so much harder to swallow is that Jean and Fuse's relationship was so mild. THEY DON'T EVEN LIKE EACH OTHER. Fuse does not want to touch or kiss her - that was established way back at the beginning of season 1. They go long stretches where they don't even talk to each other until one of them remembers the other exists. Jean has a whole other boyfriend that she seems to have a much deeper relationship with. And this is where the show kind of pissed me off, because the way they turned Jean into an evil manipulative woman stereotype with her pulling this elaborate scheme to pretend her boyfriend was her brother so she could parade around town with him (and even brazenly bring him in front of Fuse!) just felt so false and over the top to me. Why would she bother to do any of that just for the sake of stringing along this boy who isn't even interested in being her boyfriend in any real way? @bengiyo mentioned that his reading of it was she is insecure in her relationship with the older boy and so wants Fuse as a back up, which I could buy to a certain extent, but they really lost me with the lengths she went to. Jean is a very pretty girl who will no doubt have another boyfriend in a week; all this just to hang on to Fuse? I didn't buy it.

And that's a problem because it made it harder to understand why the hell Fuse was having such a hard time letting go of her, and why he was willing to hurt Tee so much in the process. I think if he genuinely liked Jean and had a deeper relationship with her, that would have worked better for me. As it was, he just seemed like a coward, and the way he kept rejecting Tee and then still trying to have his way with him after was infuriating. When he told Tee he was breaking up with him and staying with Jean, and then still tried to get him to sleep with him after, that's when I was ready to strangle this kid. And some of this I can rationalize as him not being ready to firmly commit to being out in a gay relationship and needing Jean as a kind of shield and safety blanket, but if that was the intent I think the show muddied the message a bit by having literally everyone already know about Tee and Fuse. That horse was long out of the barn before Fuse finally did something about Jean.

To the show's credit, it knows exactly how awful Fuse was throughout this entire debacle, and the last segment of their arc is all about Fuse recognizing it himself and atoning for his behavior with Tee. I love that we saw him apologize to Tee with increasing sincerity. I love that we saw him finally be the one to pursue Tee and make his feelings clear, and that Tee actually made him work for it. I loved that we had multiple episodes of Fuse trying to work up the courage to ask Tee to be his faen, and that Tee knew what was happening and enjoyed watching Fuse flounder. My absolute favorite scene was Fuse finally breaking down and confessing to Tee at the beach (with a little help from best bro Lukmo) - that he knows he was wrong, that he knows he was selfish, that he understands what Tee means to him now, that he loves him and wants to be with him and he's ready to commit to that. And Tee, because he is a kind and generous person who has been patiently waiting for this all along, immediately forgave him and responded in kind. It was so emotionally cathartic and satisfying, and felt very much earned after that loooooong journey through the mess. More than anything else I felt so proud of Fuse, and so happy for Tee, and I believed they would be solid from that point on. I didn't even need the sweet little epilogue to feel that way, but I was delighted to get it (and a direct homage to Love Sick with Fuse putting his hand over the camera lens as he leaned over to kiss his boyfriend).

Final thoughts

As I wrapped up my watch I have been reflecting on why this show is not as beloved in fandom as something like Love Sick. Why does it not seem to have the same nostalgic pull? Why don't people (other than @absolutebl and @bengiyo) talk about it as much as other classic Thai bls? And the only thing I can think of is that it's too raw for most of the bl audience. And I mean raw in every sense - the production, the acting, the emotions, the inexperience and naivete and even the physicality of the characters. Nothing particularly sophisticated is happening here, and nothing is smoothed over. If you want to love these characters, you have to love them through all the bad decisions and fucked up choices and flaws run wild. You have to love them when they're ugly as much as when they're beautiful. And I think that's hard for a lot of the audience that just wants to see sweet love stories. But I am here for it and so glad I finally got to watch this.

[slightlyaboveaverageiq]

The Whisperer: Part 15 (Wally Clark Fic)

A/N: This is going to be all smut since it’s the weekend so Mo doesn’t have to be at school the next part will be too and then there won’t really be too much.

What the hell was tickling my leg? I groaned and kicked in the general direction that the annoying feeling was coming from and it stopped for a minute but started back up. Irritated that whatever was crawling on my skin had interrupted my sleep I kicked harder this time. “Aw, fuck Mo.” I cracked one eye open and there was Wally with some kind of tickling thing on my leg.

“Wally….what the hell are you doing?” He smirked and climbed on top of me kissing me before kissing his way down my neck. He stopped and lightly lapped at a mark that he had left the night before and I couldn’t stop the moan that came from my mouth.

“We’re going to work on that fact that you can’t follow simple directions today.” He pulled away and I pouted at the fact he was no longer laying on me. “Spread your legs for me sweetheart.” I swear it was like yesterday didn’t happen because I instantly blushed and looked anywhere but at Wally. He put his hand under my chin making me look at him. “I said…spread your legs.” And just like I was hypnotized they fell open for him. He smiled and pulled me closed by the hips before gently lapping at my clit.

“Oh fuck.” He was far too good at that, or I was just easy for him to get off. Either way I wasn’t able to form a coherent thought let alone sentence when he did that. I opened my eyes and looked down to see him staring right back at me, face buried in my pussy, very much enjoying what he was doing. I started rocking my hips up into his face and he groaned holding me closer to him by my hips. I bit my lip and throwing caution to the wind very gently pushed on his chest until he was laying down. At first he was confused but when he saw I was coming to straddle his face he smiled.

“That’s my good girl, sit on my face” I didn’t even have time to sit down before he basically pulled me down on top of him and at me like he was a starving man. “Cum on my face sweetheart I love hearing the noises you make when you do.” Jesus he was probably going to kill me by orgasm if this was how he was planning on waking me up every day.

“Oh fuck Wally it feels so good.” I bit my lip and moved my hips quicker on his face until I could feel the pressure about to blow. “Oh fuck Wally please” I didn’t even have to say anymore his tongue started thrusting in and out and that was just what I needed to climb over. I fell forward shaking but Wally didn’t falter in his movements very quickly flipping us over so he was between my legs and I was on my back as he was very quickly eating me to a second orgasm, the second one crashed over me and he -just like the first one- held me in place and continued to lick through wave after wave of pleasure. It was almost to the point of too sensitive and I moved to squirms away from him but his hands held me in place. “Wally.” I half cried half bitched him out because while I felt amazing and i loved that he wanted to make me feel good but how many more did he think I was going to have?

“Shh, lay down sweetheart. You’re doing so good.” His tongue slowed down to where he was lazily lapping at the mess I had made all down my legs, giving me time to catch my breath. “So beautiful when you cum sweetheart.” I looked down at him and raked my fingers through his hair and his closed his eyes letting out a low growl as he continued licking at me. “You taste so good, I could stay down here all day just tasting you and listening to you scream my name.”

“Wally, fuck I don’t know if I can cum anymore.” He smirked and continued his assault on my clit while running his fingertips lightly up and down my thighs. My leg started shaking as I felt a third one approaching, i was less sensitive compared to my second one but that didn’t mean that I didn’t scream his name as my third orgasm washed over me. “Wally, too sensitive.” I gently pushed his head away and this time he kissed his way up my body instead of continuing his assault on my pussy.

“Such a good girl Mo, I love watching you fall apart, hearing you moan and scream my name as you do.” I moaned and reached up pulling him down so I could kiss him and just wrap my body around him. “I love how you shiver when I touch you or you hear my voice.” He placed a kiss on my shoulder leading up to my neck after each word. “I could spend the rest of my afterlife drowning in you and I wouldn’t mind.” I’ve convinced myself that Wally just has a fetish for my ear because he consistently kisses and sucks on them.

I flipped us over so he was underneath me and I was straddling his hips. I bit my lip and let my hands lightly wonder across his chest and arms, groaning lowly in my throat as they made their way across the ripples in his muscles. Wally raised an eyebrow at me but didn’t say anything and let me continue on my quest. I smiled and dipped my head placing a wet kiss in the dip between his neck and shoulder. Aside from the way his breath caught and the pressure increasing in his grip oh my hips there was no outward sign that I had fazed him. I trailed my lips lower working them along his chest and down to his waistband. I glanced up, his brown eyes once again almost black as he watched me move lower and lower. I bit my lip nervously and pulled them down and almost wished I had x ray vision that way I could have been slightly prepared. I knew he was by no means small based on the stretch I was still feeling from yesterday but it’s not like I had studied and taken notes while he was eating me out.

“Mo.” His hips moved every so slightly and that was all I needed before plunging head first -quite literally- wrapping my lips around his cock all the way down to his balls. “FUCK MO.” I smiled inwardly to myself, he wasn’t the only one that could get a reaction now. I took my time running my tongue along the underside before slowly bringing my mouth up almost off his cock completely before going back down tortuously slow. He threaded his fingers through my hair and tried ever so sneakily to jut his hips forward but I borrowed a move he had played in me countless times and put a hand on his hips stopping him in his tracks. “Mo, come on Mo, please.” Well would you look at who’s begging now. I pulled away from him entirely smirking at him and he threw his head back with a groan. I did feel a little bit sorry for him though he had given me orgasm after orgasm while not really thinking about himself. I lowered my mouth back down around his cock and worked it steadily lapping at the underside and moaning both from the taste of Wally and the feeling of him filling up my throat. I didn’t get it past friends had made it sound like sucking theirs boyfriends cock was a chore but I would gladly suck Wally’s as often and as long as he would allow me to. I felt a shift in his leg muscles and heard his breathing pick up.

“Cum for me Wally.” I murmured before quickly replacing my mouth in him and no sooner had I done that was he holding my head in place as he filled my mouth while I swallowed. Again I don’t understand it wasn’t a bad taste why make it seem like you were drinking fucking bleach or something? I pulled my head away and licked my lips staring at him while I did so. Fuck was I just gonna be horny for the rest of my life if Wally as in it because as soon as my gaze locked on his I felt wetness drip onto his legs. “Fuck Wally.” He smiled and pulled me down to him.

“So beautiful Mo, look at you all flustered and bright eyed, breathless.” Her and his thumb along my lower lip and my tongue quickly darted out licking it. “You know fully well what you’re doing to me don’t you Mori?” His tone huskier as his eyes darkened. “Such a good girl for me.” His mouth covered mine but this was different it wasn’t a rushed kiss like before it was a slower, more hungry he gently raised me and maneuvered me over his cock before pulling away just enough so he could look me in the eyes. “Sit down my sweet girl.” He gently lowered me down and I couldn’t help the gasp that fell from my mouth as he did.

“Oh fuck.” He shhed me before pulling my upper half flush with his is he gently moved up and down inside of me this was a change of pace but it felt just as good as when he had me bent like a pretzel last night. I felt my core tightening and I tried to move myself faster on his cock but he firmly held me in place and continued at his original pace. “Wally, fuck you feel so good in me.” He groaned low in his throat but didn’t say anything in response. I laid my head on his shoulder and placed lazy kisses as he continued to thrust up inside of me pace faltering as I felt him getting closer to his orgasm, “That’s it Wally, cum for me.” He made a strangled choking noise thing as he filled me over and over before his body relaxing.

“I could do that all day with you Mo, but you are still alive and alive humans tend to get hungry throughout the day.” As if right on cue my stomach let out a long loud growl and I felt my face redden in embarrassment. “Come in sweet girl let’s go get your belly full so I can continue what we started.”

[vaguelyprophetic]

I have read ‘if you need someone to hold’ at least a million times now because that one scene where it finally breaks and Roman doesn’t say anything, just collapses into Stewy’s hug and eventually falls asleep SPEAKS VOLUMES!!! That in the end Roman doesn’t actually need to say anything because Stewy will see right through him anyway. I’ll be honest I wasn’t so keen on them in the first place but after reading your work and then rewatching specifically their scenes…mhm yeah, I have been exposed to the light 🙏 I was wondering if you had a particular hc/thought on Roman’s relationship with sex. It’s never really explicitly stated in the show and Ik a popular hc is that he’s a virgin. Or is that perhaps he’s never really been able to enjoy it before, it’s almost like this shameful thing in his head but when he and Stewy start hooking up he learns to enjoy it, learns more things about himself, his likes/dislikes. He learns love the healthy way <3 I loved the idea you had on another post that it starts with degradation if that’s what Roman wants but Stewy eventually coaxes him into praise and Roman likes hearing it. Anyway, I won’t go on forever but I just love your stuff <3

thank you so much 🥺 that fic is definitely one that I'm still very very proud of and it makes me extremely happy that people seem to like it so much!!! I also love to hear that my fics converted people into enjoying stewyroman lol. welcome to the dark side <3

I have a lot of thoughts about roman and sex so I'm going to put them under a read more both because this will probably go on for too long and because there's gonna be mention of sexual assault and trauma. so just be mindful of that!

I don't think he's a virgin. I think he has some serious hang-ups about sex and attraction, and those feelings absolutely come from his trauma. we still don't know exactly what happened to him, but I feel like it's pretty obvious that he was assaulted as a kid, probably multiple times. I mean, "uncle mo"? the rat pack that ran cruises? there were a lot of horrible people around when the roys were kids. it's definitely never going to be explicitly stated, because succession doesn't give us that kind of information, but the subtext and clues are all there and have been from the very beginning imo.

so yeah, that trauma makes it a little bit difficult for roman to have a normal relationship with sex as an adult. he's also got body image issues, which makes it even harder to be vulnerable like that. it also ties into why I think he's gay rather than bi -- he already feels ashamed enough about sexual attraction, so the fact that he's attracted to men makes that all the more difficult, because he knows what his dad (and the vast majority of the business world) think about gay men. the women he goes after are the ones who other men around him have expressed interest in, and I think to him, there's an idea that it's a sort of conquest and that those men will respect him if he can hook up with the women they find attractive.

I don't really have coherent thoughts about this but I'm thinking about how also it seems like roman's sexuality is sort of used as a pawn in business negotiations, too. I mean his thing with eduard, his thing with matsson, his thing with mencken... idk how to word what I'm trying to say here but it feels like that's something that roman is unfortunately very used to.

I can also see why people think that he's asexual, but I don't think he is! I think he does feel sexual attraction and wants to have that experience and connection but that his trauma and other issues sort of block him from being able to do that. we saw that he wanted to try different things with tabitha to see what worked, so I think there is definitely a desire to figure it out and be able to just enjoy sex and be "normal."

roman absolutely needs someone who is gentle and patient with him while he figures his shit out. which is why the stewy/roman dynamic works for me, because I think stewy could definitely fill that role of being the person who just wants to give roman pleasure and make sure that he feels good about whatever it is they do. so over time roman starts to feel less and less ashamed and scared of his attraction and starts to embrace it in a safe and healthy way <3

idk if any of this is actually coherent but I do have a lot of feelings about roman and his relationship with his own body and his desires. my fics are so self-indulgent because I just want him to feel safe and loved </3

[lunarmote]

Why I review films (as a noob?) 2/3

This is part 2 of this topic. Part 1 covers points one & two.

3. I gravitate towards the interdisciplinary

Point three. I’m a shapeshifter.

Something I’ve noticed about myself is that I’m not easily taken by the idea of belonging to a group, and more than that, I make an active effort to resist being complacent in my beliefs. This shows up as perpetual agnosticism. I have more fun doing this, first off, and I feel like I learn more in the crossfire.

When it comes to storytelling, I think that films occupy a unique crossroads where they combine the visuals of still picture with diegetic sound and non-diegetic music and the sequential coherence of any other “story” medium. This makes it such that there are just so many different ways of viewing film that I can’t imagine getting bored — and even then, you could always jump to a higher level of abstraction and ask why one should analyze film, at all.

Thus, I start watching something like Goodfellas and notice that contrary to expectations, I really like it! I start by exploring Scorsese’s style: his compositions, slo-mos, voice-over dialogue. Then I start wondering what his other films are like; if this stylistic flourish developed out of something in his personal life. At some point I reach a dead end and ask why I thought I wouldn’t like Goodfellas, deconstructing the crime film — did I expect all these stories to follow the same arc?

All art is connected

I have thought all forms of art were interconnected for as long as I can remember, such that when my friend asked me what I was doing reviewing moving pictures/cinematography as a static 2D artist, I was a little short of words. To me, painting, music, theater, slam poetry, film, are all various forms of storytelling, which requires curation by an expert eye. 

To convey “heartbreak,” the singer imagines the buildup of tension and vocalizes it. The filmmaker thinks of a catalogue of scenes that when threaded together in the right order and are given their proper screen time, stirs something in the viewer. An illustrator turns to shape and color language, predicting their uptake in the viewer. A rounded periwinkle object folding inside itself conveys a different heartbreak to a black object split in half by a red thorny object. The illustration’s context is in space and not time.

You can find associations in everything. We need not stay within the borders of “art.” We can talk about the role art should play in society by turning to philosophy. What sort of messages should the artist and curator be trying to promote, but also, should we take authorial intention into account at all, or should the meaning of art depend entirely on the viewer?

I had a conversation with a vegan on whether or not movies should feature characters eating meat. Their stance was that they shouldn’t because it [ostensibly] normalizes animal abuse. But my stance was that context matters — to depict a culture in which meat-eating is so entrenched, you must take off your prescriptive goggles and observe the way things really are. How would you even refer to the problem otherwise?

My problem with art criticism

I believe being open and adventurous is important to understanding art of any kind.

I have some problems with the way art criticism is taught on an institutional level. I believe criticism/analysis is a skill that must be trained by going through many disparate examples. You start by analyzing a small cluster of things, drawing a conclusion. Then, you analyze a completely separate group and draw a separate conclusion. Then, you make the conclusions confront each other, and see if you can draw an overarching conclusion. The clash of ideas is crucial because from the ashes, a synthesis emerges.

But because there is no systematic way of teaching critique in schools, the classes you take are always something specific in time and place and ideology (e.g. early 20th-century feminist film). What happens is you get is a lot of pupils who are brand-spanking-new to any kind of analysis learning to associate the initial act of analyzing per se with the ideological lens of their first class. Bad professors are all too eager to “forget” to disentangle the two because they have everything to gain from it.

I do not want to claim these individual lenses are misguided. What I am pointing out is that, there seems to be very little room for the student to engage with art-as-is without being told there is some way they should be interpreting the art. One of the loveliest things about art is its ability to contain contradictions and speak to different people across the pond, but this naïve openness of the student is treated as almost a bad thing, something to be weeded out.

A personal experience

I took a pop culture class where one of the first things we learned was the Bechdel test. If you’re unfamiliar with the Bechdel test, it asks whether there are two women in a film talking at least once about something other than a man. I’m happy that that professor asked us to apply it to our favorite movies because we had some good group discussions on the way media perpetuates gender stereotypes. 

What I didn’t like was that the professor ended there. Rather than using this to promote further discussion on art’s descriptive vs. prescriptive use and asking if/how a film can be redeemed even when it fails the Bechdel test (i.e. rather than saying this was but one metric), the professor clearly wanted to talk about misogyny and the dearth of female directors. 

There was no room for the student to think something other than “these films are problematic; therefore, they are bad” because we were not given any other tools.

I had another wonderful professor freshman year whom I will address right now: I would like you to think a bit about what exactly you’re doing when, at the same time that you criticize power structures, you impose your own template of “art” on students who are powerless to fight back. I would like to ask you what is meritorious about claiming all of art for one way of thought. It is completely irresponsible to teach the conclusion and not the thought process that led to said conclusion. Teach the debate over canon itself and then give students the chance to discover their own opinion!

What does it come down to?

I didn’t mean for this to end on an impersonal note. To tie this back to “Why do I bother viewing media/art/film as someone who is not formally trained?” I believe ultimately it comes down to will, regardless of where you receive your art education. There’s so much importance in consuming and questioning that the possibility of discovering truths for oneself shouldn’t be gatekept. 

I also feel like learning in a formal school setting can give you many benefits but isn’t without faults, which is also something I feel is not really talked about. So far, I’ve been doing okay.

[jlf23tumble]

Hey Jen! Happy Birthday first of all!! As my favourite TXF-era Louis hate-watcher/enthusiast/scholar (and one of my all-round absolute fave bloggers) I 1) would love to hear your thoughts on his post-TXF comments and 2) Remember when there was this nice nerdy boy auditioning on XF? Simon said he lacked personality, but Louis defended him passionately saying that just bc he wasn't the bad boy Simon was looking for didn't mean he didn't have any personality. And then fast forward to... 1/2

Louis’ interview with Satan Cowell’s #1 provider of anal unguent… his answer about having been a “party boy” was so interesting to me. He seemed uncomfortable and said “yeah there’s a responsibility at both ends, to be good and also to be a little bit bad, a little bit mischievous sometimes”. Super interesting choice of words… “a responsibility”. And DW, transparent as always “that’s what we want from our rock stars”. Mmh. What Simon wants for sure. 2/2

——–

Hey, thanks for the birthday wishes!! I’ve had a few (got drunk on you, etc.), so I’m gonna try and answer this, but if it comes off as incoherent, let’s all just blame sweet lady vino. As you (correctly!) suggest, I’m so here for all XFUK talk, and I’m curious to hear more about Louis’s experiences on the show as we get deeper into promo that neatly swerves Louis’s personal life. Olivia got some GREAT INTEL from him, but he’s hinted in previous interviews about being nervous or having to be a certain “character,” and a LOT of it is tied in to this Sun-perspective, which is more or less run by the people running Simon (I don’t like to give him coded language because that gives him more attention and power, like we’re watching a shitty soap villain, when in reality, he’s a sad, vain little man whose “empire” is imploding faster than his cheap tit job). Make no mistake, XFUK was a calculated risk to salvage Louis’s rep in the UK (the demo that engages with it is the demo that reads the Sun, and he’s been trashed there for years), but it WORKED, and part of that is Louis’s natural charm, but it’s also down to the edit, both on screen and in print. And Louis knows it, calls it out with Wootton, the whole thing about the responsibility, as you say, but also that most of those shit articles are Dan’s work (just like Niall hinted at, with pretty much the same smirk). They all know it’s part of the game, but it does do some damage, and he’s in damage control mode…seemingly, everyone’s on board with it, but the shrapnel (at least in print) is Zayn, and that’s because Louis didn’t throw Harry under the bus like he was supposed to (Dan needed a headline about someone Louis hates in the band, so he took Louis’s sad resignation about Z and puffed it up because there’s literally nothing there about H…and don’t even get me started on the whole “party boy” image and who it was originally intended for). I have so many thoughts on all of it, but you have to watch everything to talk about it, and I’m not here to engage with anyone who hasn’t. I’m drunk enough to share some of my random unpopular onions, so here you go, in one go:

El’s definitely “vital” for selling an album about long-term love for an artist who’s closeted, and she’s the best fit for it (they get along, they’re coworkers, “she’s” been there through all the ups and downs, so get ready for those long-term love songs because they ain’t about her)

bg won’t end anytime soon, so if you’re one of those who’s constantly screaming ‘end it’ in tags, you’re only upsetting yourself (I think it WILL end eventually, but with a whimper, and trying to push for a scream is not worth your own personal angst)

That said, look at the negative space here, there’s less and less and less talk about him having a son, seeing him with a son, but he can still talk about his “boy” and do all kinds of other things that play with that narrative subversively (is it his bf, his son, his brother? an emotion? we’ll never know)

Simon has an outdated idea of what “sells” for rockstars, but so does Irving Azoff (Louis’s media rollout with his team is on POINT, and it hits all platforms, but he still has to deal with shit related to the Sun, Metro, etc.; the Azoffs are notoriously not plugged into SM, they use print like Billboard and a fairly outmoded form of non-print pub PR, but Harry has a lot of charm that bleeds out into OTHER PEOPLE’S SM…oh, and p.s., he STILL has to deal with the Sun, Metro, etc. from time to time)

But this is why Louis’s current media push is so GOOD, you don’t even know…all platforms, all of the biggest ones, there’s a strategic plan here, please stop pretending like you have this more figured out than they do, my god, he has GOT THIS

XFUK was an intentional move to repair tab damage in the UK, and it worked (it was fucking SMART, and he smashed it, so much damage was repaired, and on an actual schedule)

I don’t know any BTS arrangements (before you @ me, let me stop you right there, neither do you), but clearly, more than one party/contract is at play here, and you really should do yourself the favor of listening to ALL OF IT, because he drops hints all over the place (that Olivia interview alone had so much happening that wasn’t excerpted or giffed)

There’s a very real possibility that Louis and Harry don’t WANT to come out because of the invasive interest in their lives, and there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that! But it might also explain when things appear that aren’t aimed at the gp

Argh, I’m rambling, and this is getting too long/too boring, but yeah, I’m probably drunkenly blanking on even more fantastic thoughtsTM, but XFUK was a game changer in a lot of ways, for everyone involved.

[anchovies-4-dinner]

For Now and Forever | Yan! Ganyu

What if: There’s a reason why Qilin are strict vegetarians

Words: 3.1k

Warnings: Violence, cannibalism, eating disorders, long post 

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

People have never been Ganyu’s strongest suit, it only made sense that any romantic pursuits ended in catastrophic failure as well.

She could even count the total amount of lovers she’s had on a single hand; all were either turned off by her inhuman (literally) work ethic or the realisation that she would simply outlive them and collect more lovers. Despite all this she was undeterred in her devotion to the contract.

In fact, her devotion just increased when a new colleague joined the work force.

There was seemingly nothing remarkable about them, yet Ganyu would find herself peeking at them from the stacks of documents, only looking away when confronted with a red face and sudden scribbling.

Despite the fireworks in her stomach she actively steered out of your way, even memorising your schedules to ensure she doesn’t get her heart broken for the fourth time (even though you hadn’t even met her). Her little crush died down as she saw little of you and was able to drown herself in work as usual.

Until you inevitably crossed paths, because of course it had to.

In her maximised effort to effectively plan this year’s festival she’d forgotten to compare your schedules and consequently ran into you. She had to do a factory reset when you approached her and you briefly thought you were talking to a statue until she got a hold of herself; unfortunately she stumbled through her words and the harder she tried to form a coherent sentence out came even more gibberish.

Thank God you were a saint; you skilfully manoeuvred the conversation and her jitters died down till there was just a trace of red on her face. Ganyu’s eyebags lifted and she swore even the flowers were more lively as you two passed. Like jigsaw pieces in a puzzle you both complemented each other perfectly. However, while it was nice actually conversing with you she had a job to do.

Before she could escape though you grasped her wrist. “I... Sorry for jumping this on you all of a sudden but there was a particular reason I approached you today.”

Ah. Was there yet another job for her?

“I know what you are.” Ganyu froze. “Despite what you say those horns are real, you’re half Qilin aren’t you?”

Her flight instinct activated and Ganyu’s eyes flitted around; thankfully you had the incentive to lead her to a more private, secluded area. You must have sensed her panic because you then stated: 

“I heard from Keqing. Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me because I... I know what it’s like to not fit in.”

At this Ganyu finally looked as you slowly removed your hat to reveal your own set of horns.

“In fact, the whole reason I joined was because of you.” The half-qilin’s eyes widened and you bashfully pinched your hand, “I too am a hybrid, but I don’t know much of my non-human side. Even though you’re terribly busy I hope we can get closer. As friends.”

Your hand extended towards her, but all Ganyu could focus on were your horns; now it made sense why she felt something off about you, perhaps it was fate that you met. Every other adepti and non-mortal kept their distance, but maybe this time she could really bond with another who was truly like her.

A genuine smile blossomed and the adepti enthusiastically shook your hand, “Of course, I would be honoured to be your friend! No, more than honoured!”

...

A month and a half later you both managed to clear your schedules for a meet up. During Ganyu’s short break you would spirit her away to various secluded spots where you were comfortable enough to slip off the hat. At first she was worried that you may overexert yourself on many occasions but it seemed that you took on more of your inhuman athletic side. Further than she would normally you travelled to multiple peaks and admired breathtaking views, something Ganyu hadn’t been able to do in, well, centuries. 

Not to mention the occasional monsters you encountered; your abilities shone as you swiftly took down a Stonehide Lawachurl before she could tell you to get behind. It was then you sheepishly revealed your inherited prowess on the battlefield and that you had been sheltered from the Archon war by your human parent, taking to battling off hostiles that threatened your house.

Not only did she not have to worry about outliving you, you were more than capable of defending yourself. In the end, she couldn’t help getting her hopes up again; though the somersaults have simmered down her feeling grew exponentially to the point where she began looking for opportunities to meet up with you.

Not that her co workers particularly minded, in fact they encouraged her taking a few more breaks than usual. To them it was worth it when Ganyu would return with a pep in her step. 

It only solidified when, on a random evening, you both went out for dinner. You were well aware of Ganyu’s plant based diet so you took care to choose a restaurant that excelled in a vegetarian selection. She practically drooled over the food on the menu and quickly composed herself, but her enthusiasm only made you giggle and take her hand.

“Don’t hide your smile, you know how much I like to see you happy!” You tittered before looking back at the menu. “Now order anything you like; we’ve both worked super hard these past few months ”

Ah. Ganyu pretended to read the menu though she already knew to order the small salad.

When the waitress came you ordered a full course menu for yourself and then it was Ganyu’s turn. The look on your face at her pathetic order had her immediately regret her decision, even the waitress looked skeptical.

“Ma’am, this house is full of delicacies. If none of the food is to your liking then the chef would be more than happy to make some adjustments. Are you allergic to anything?”

“No thanks. I just ate a lot before coming here is all, haha...”

Of course you had half the brain to not believe her. Once the waitress departed you started your well-intentioned interrogation:

“Ganyu are you feeling sick? We can go home if you want to.”

“Nothing like that! I just, don’t have much of an appetite these days.”

“It didn't seem like that earlier.”

Ganyu sighed, exhausted from your scrutiny, “It’s nothing. Qilin are accustomed to living days without food.”

A little white lie that you weren’t buying. A second passed before Ganyu finally caved. “I’ve never been... happy with all. This.”

Once she gestured at herself you immediately understood. You practically reached across the table just to hold her gloved hands. “I understand. You don’t have to discuss it if you don’t want to, I just want you to know that I’ll always be here if you need me. Yeah?”

You didn’t retreat until you were absolutely sure Ganyu knew of your unrelenting support. A watery smile crept up as she squeezed your hand back, “Thank you. Thank you for understanding.”

The rest of the night her diet wasn’t brought up again, but Ganyu grew lax at the reminder that you were never leaving. Because you cared. Because you saw her as a true friend. When you parted her chest felt fuller than any buffet ever could.

...

True to your word you didn’t broach the topic but began layering compliments to the point her coworkers and even Keqing thought there was something between you.

“I know you’re trying to make me feel better but you really don’t have to say all this. I know you don’t really think that highly of me.”

You merely blinked at her response. “But of course I do? I thought I already made it clear how much I admire you; everything I said were true even before we formally met, I just didn't want to scare you away. Sorry if I was overbearing haha.”

A flustered Ganyu was an irrational Ganyu. Before she could stop herself she blurted, “I feel the same way about you too.”

Your head snapped to attention and you slowly closed the document you were working on with an ‘I’m listening’ posture. She wasn’t getting herself out of this one was she?

“It’s just that- well, I think I could just sense something different about you from the mortals. In fact, it distracted me so much that I had to reschedule just so I wouldn’t meet you...”

As Ganyu twiddled her thumbs you beamed, “So it’s like some sort of telepathic thing eh? A red string of fate!”

Funny how that was precisely how Ganyu saw this situation. Your next comment completely threw her off guard.

“Like soulmates! How cool is that? You feel the same right?”

The adepts mouth formed a trillion words yet she failed to speak all of them. Was she sleep deprived or was that-

“Unless you don’t. Maybe it’s the same with others like us ya know...” You chuckled awkwardly at her silence.

Ganyu lurched from her seat and everything came spilling from the golden opportunity, “I do! There’s not a moment where I don’t yearn to be by your side. No companion could compare to how you make me feel, not Keqing nor Xiao. I consider myself lucky that you even talk to me!”

Sense returned to her, but she couldn’t find it to regret her words at your flushed expression. “Hah, I’m glad I’m not alone.”

“(Y/n) I-” Ganyu hesitated, but it was now or never. “I think soulmates are the perfect words to describe us. Before you my life had been monotonous no matter how much I ‘enjoyed’ work. Even if my job is my life, my devotion is to you and I would truly be the happiest if we were more than friends! Like- Like...”

Her words died in the end when she suddenly sobered up and realised the weight of her words; she’d just declared her utter devotion to you, but that wasn’t right was it? It had always been for the geo archon, though it didn’t feel as true as it did then.

You covered your mouth at her confession and swallowed, “Ganyu I- You really mean that? Like really really? Because if you don’t I really really will walk out.”

Ganyu’s breath hitched as you wrapped your shaky arms around her, “Then! Allow me to officially declare you the happiest being in this realm. Because I! I l-love you more than friends should!”

The adept melted into goop in your arms and embraced your touch, your scent, basically everything that’s you.

...

Of course the honeymoon ended abruptly.

It had been an accident. You were under such high stress from the geo archon’s passing that not even Ganyu could soothe so you both went on a brief hike. On the way you stumbled across a human who unwittingly provoked a lawachurl. Obviously you dealt with it, but something was off. Your movements were too harsh, too ruthless; completely different from what Ganyu was used to.

She of course shielded the victim in the meantime, and had to cover them from a rock that you accidentally threw at them, only it wasn’t a rock; it was the lawachurl’s head.

The human screamed and backed away which served to aggravate you further. Ganyu gasped when you charged at the mortal and had to shoot you with her bow. You were knocked to the ground with a grunt, allowing enough time for the human to escape.

In an instant Ganyu was there to hold you down, profusely apologising as she stared into your eyes absolved of the horrid red tint. Seeing your stupor she explained the situation and your face morphed into guilt. 

It was then you decided to finally dig into your non-human ancestry.

It took a lot of effort, but after multiple investigations you were linked with a researcher all the way in Mondstadt. Ganyu was reluctant to let you go, but she had no choice as she was to be stationed in Liuye. With a kiss and a promise to write letters you departed, and Ganyu was left alone with your inscribed locket that read:

For now and Forever

...

The journey was successful. You wrote of the wonders of Mondstadt and culture shock, especially the freedom and friendliness you were met with. You also met the researcher who, shockingly enough, shared the same heritage as you. Descriptions of your ancestor (blood crazed beasts who couldn’t control their rage under high stress) troubled you both and you sought techniques from your new friend to manage that.

Ganyu was happy for you. She truly was. But do you really have to stay there for a few more months? She even began making more mistakes than usual which tipped her off further, snow piling into a positive feedback cycle. 

Why were you writing so much about this ‘friend’? There’s not a sentence where you couldn’t miss out her name, you didn’t even ask Ganyu how her day was anymore. It was as if her red string of fate was slipping; its cheap painted colours washing away while she could do nothing but wail as you remain oblivious to her plight.

...

A few weeks turned into months. Months turned into years.

God she was hungry.

Oh she passed out again.

What did they say?

For Now and Forever

Ganyu should really throw out that cheap locket. She couldn’t even bear to look at your face anymore lest she wanted a migraine. Keqing was worried; she dropped by and gave her some food sprinkled with Qingxin petals.

“No thanks. I’m not hungry.”

“But-”

“I’m not hungry.”

Even Ningguang took pity and gave her an indefinite time off - “For as long as you need it.” Ganyu needed more than just a break.

She needed to eat. Yet nothing appealed to her anymore. 

Due to the lack of work she’d lay in bed looking at the unopened envelope of the last letter you sent which was four months ago. You used to write twice a week. 

She never read it in fear of rejection. 

Within those days of self pity bubbled anger. She didn’t care that you mastered balancing your emotions. She didn’t care that you learned so much more with that researcher than her in a week. She didn’t care that you moved in with the home wrecker. She just wanted you back, whining about how all your letters were lost due to recent storms. That you didn’t truly care about your new ‘friend’. 

For Now and Forever

Ganyu screamed as the locket flew into the wall forming a crack.

For Now and Forever

The adepti sunk to her knees, throat closing as tears stained her face.

For Now and Forever

What a joke.

...

How awful, who would love a woman like this?

Ganyu stared into the mirror. Her frame was frail and skeletal. Cheeks hollowed and eyes sunken in her skull. 

This time it was Xiao who came by. By now he was accustomed to Ganyu’s breakdowns after a break up and he responded accordingly; once again food was presented to her. She wasn’t hungry, not for that any way.

The anemo user didn’t interfere with such trivial affairs but she could feel the anger radiating from him.

“That hybrid must have meant a lot to you. I’ll make sure they don’t step foot in Liuye again.”

“No. Let them come.”

If Xiao disagreed he said nothing.

...

On the day of your anniversary you finally returned - with a woman by your side. That researcher.

I’m hungry.

Ganyu was the first to meet you after catching wind of your arrival from Xiao and Keqing. Your shocked face at her ghastly condition made her suffering worth it if only for your concern. She was glad that she convinced the two to stay at bay otherwise you wouldn’t even get a single step towards her.

Like a sunflower drawn to the sunlight she relished your attention. The researcher was also worried - perhaps feigning it - but Ganyu could care less about her.

She finally ate when you stopped by a restaurant, the same vegetarian place you took her once upon a time, but no matter how much she ate her appetite couldn’t be sated.

Why am I still hungry?

Later, away from prying eyes, she vomited the meal out.

...

“Didn’t you read the letter I sent you? The times we had were fun but I’ve always been a free spirit, and I found my freedom in Mondstadt.” You uneasily looked at the bashed locket Ganyu had fixed into a bracelet. It hung heavy on her wrist with a red string of poor quality.

All the insults begging to dash your brain were kept back by her will. She knew what you were insinuating, in fact she was already looking at the root of the problem.

I’m hungry

.

.

.

“It was an accident.”

Zhongli stared at Ganyu’s shellshocked expression. Her ghostly figure was painted with red.

“You-” Zhongli took a breath as he tried to compose himself, “You ate her. There is nothing but hair and bone.”

“I didn’t mean to.”

Images of her feast haunted his mind.

The steps he took were silent as if he was cornering a wild animal. The blue adepti was hunched over a corpse, organs spilling from its abdomen. Ganyu’s face was caught between agony and joy; tears spilled and mixed with the blood dripping from her chin yet she couldn’t stop shovelling the flesh.

Xiao stood not far away. He refused to look at his fellow adepti.

The woman who, within that meal, regained her lost body mass and held a haunting resemblance of your new lover. 

“You signed a contract to protect all living beings-”

“In Liyue. She is of Mondstadt. I have no obligation to protect her.”

She was too far gone. And it was his fault. Xiao clenched his teeth as he disappeared into the night, unable to witness Ganyu’s fate. 

“You know what happens to those who break the contract.”

Ganyu ignored Zhongli as she dazedly walked to a stream. Water washed away the grime and her stomach no longer growled. A soulless chuckle erupted when she stared into her warped reflection; was this good enough for you, she wondered.

That night, centuries of her servitude came to an end. 

The bracelet sunk deep to the bottom of the stream, red fading until it was nothing but white.

[suddenlywritingstrangerthings]

Giving up control

Steve gets drunk and Billy gets angry and they both decide making out in the bathroom is more fun than fighting

Ship: Harringrove

tags: oral sex, enemies to enemies with benefits, literally no plot, very drunk sex, hatesex (kinda, at the start), power dynamics

Steve stumbled into the bathroom like he wasn't sure where he was going or entirely what the room was for. This was an issue primarily because it was the guest bathroom of the house he’d lived in for his entire life. 

To say he was drunk would be an understatement only bested by saying that he wasn’t handling his and Nancy’s breakup very well. In all his infinite wisdom, he had decided to throw a party, a Saturday night rager, supposedly just because his parents were gone (as they are most weekends) but mainly to get his mind off things and give him an excuse to get shitfaced. Which he did, gleefully besting even Billy in the kegstand tournament two hours and a six-pack ago. 

Unfortunately, that small victory hadn’t improved the blonde bully’s mood at all, and when he saw Steve breaking away from the party, he knew this was probably his best chance to get the other boy alone. His ego was bruised, Tommy had fucked off with some girl, and he really had nothing better to do than pick a fight, so here he was, leaning against the doorframe of Steve's bathroom, watching the senior splash water on his face, in some useless attempt to become more coherent. Billy could see himself in the mirror above Steve's head, so he could just wait there, taking a long drag from his cigarette until Steve finally noticed him. 

Steve paused before looking up, hoping just to look himself in the eyes enough to try and blink away the spinning and swaying that had crawled into his vision sometime since the party started. It all had gotten to be too much, especially when he saw Nancy herself in the corner, chatting awkwardly with Jonathan. Steve invited them both himself, trying to turn it into some kind of fucked up olive branch, trying to at least be friends, but it wasn't going very well. When his eyes finally did meet the mirror, he jumped, immediately turning around.

"the fuck are you doing in here?" his words were slurred, but the shock and mounting anger were unmistakable. He hated Billy; his toned abs, his California perfect hair and skin, his honestly amazing skill in basketball, and he was the second best in town at kegstands. Yeah, Steve really fucking hated him.

"Could ask you the same thing, princess. Did seeing the wheeler chick hanging with a loser all night finally get too much for you?" he knew it was a low blow, but he didn't come in here to make friends. He was itching for action, his blood alight with adrenaline and alcohol and making it easier than ever for him to make stupid choices, not that he had a hard time with it on a good day. He looked Steve up and down and expected it to be a bit of an unfair fight, the guy was leaning on the sink just to stand up straight, and his drooping eyelids seemed straight out of a porno with how he was fluttering his eyelashes just to keep them open. He really couldnt believe what he was seeing, the former king of Hawkins high, shitfaced in his own bathroom over some stuck-up bookish girl. Honestly, if Billy wasn't so close to laughing, he would call it almost sad.

"Stop fucking calling me that!" the nickname had persisted for weeks, ever since Billy found out about the stupid title Tommy gave him when they were freshmen, he had reduced it to quite possibly the most insulting moniker Steve could have. he hated it, but he thought it was still better than when Billy called him by name, the sound of his name in the blond's voice, with that slight drawl and rasp to it, always got a reaction out of him, and usually a violent one.

"Alright, sweetheart. What would you prefer I call you? King Steve or just Stevie?"

Billy continued goading, hoping the other boy would take the first swing, but that wasn't exactly what he got. In what appeared to be a moment of clarity, Steve leaned back against the sink, not like it was sustaining his weight, but like he had seen the boy lean against lockers to speak to girls. 

"You aren't looking for a fight Billy." their eyes met, and Steve’s suddenly didn't seem glassy with alcohol, and Billy started preparing a comeback. It died in his throat when Steve continued, "you just want someone to bite back, take control from you in a situation where you're safe." 

Billy balked, unsure of how to respond to that, that, that, accusation? assesment? damn cruel read? He wasn't quite sure what had transpired, but he knew he didn't like it much. he suddenly felt vulnerable, like Steve wasn't seeing his persona, but the 17-year-old boy scared out of his whits that went home every day. 

Billy slammed the door, locking them both in the room, and stormed closer to Steve. “What the fuck did you just say to me?”

Steve leaned closer to him before grabbing his shoulders and flipping them. Billy’s ass was on the counter, shocked beyond belief, and Steve’s lips were brushing against the shell of his ear as he spoke.

“Wanna feel my teeth?”

Billy smiled and figured this was as much fun as fighting, and, well, a mouth is a mouth. He spun them back around, pinning Steve harshly against the sink, and pressed their mouths together.

The first thing Steve noticed was that Billy was a surprisingly good kisser. This observation was followed quickly by the monumental discovery that he was kissing Billy Hargroves and enjoying it. Fortunately, even a drunk Steve was good at this part. It was what he knew how to do. It was how he got girls. It was how he got favors. It was one of his favorite pastimes.

Steve surged forward, pinning Billy against the back of the bathroom door, and reached down to lock it. Billy made a noise of surprise into the kiss but didn't pull away, so Steve deepened it, running a hand up to Billy’s neck to pull him closer and run his tongue along the blond’s lower lip.

Billy opened his mouth far more quickly than Steve expected, maybe he had been right, and Billy just needed to be taken care of. If so, this would be both a very fun and very interesting night. Regardless Billy’s hands drifted to Steve’s back, lightly gripping his shirt.

Steve slotted a knee between his thighs and ground forwards, not enough to do anything but just to test the waters. Billy immediately grabbed his ass and pulled his hips forwards with more force, drawing a slightly surprised groan out of him.

Steve reached behind him to grab both of Billy’s hands in one of his before dragging them to the wall above their heads. Billy pulled back from the kiss to argue but was cut off by Steve grinding their hips together again forcefully.

Steve brought his mouth down, leaving small kisses and bites along Billy’s neck before biting down harshly and sucking a bit, creating a dark hickey that elicited a moan from the blond. Steve smiled against his skin and continued rutting their hips together, the tension between them mounting.

Eventually, Steve couldn’t handle waiting, and used his grip on Billy’s hands to push him to his knees. Billy stared up at him, his eyes slightly glassy and his mouth agape where he had been whining. “C’mon, Billy. You know what to do.” Steve’s voice was goading, but he was still so obviously turned on and in control that Billy listened, quickly divesting him of his pants and underwear.

When Steve’s cock appeared, it was a bit bigger than Billy expected but slender. Billy hesitated, slightly out of fear from the size but also because he hadn't done this since leaving California and never in a situation where the other person actually had control. Seeing him pause, Steve carefully took hold of it and guided it toward Billy’s mouth, “You don't have to take the whole thing but let me feel you.” He rested the tip on Billy’s lips, and Billy did the rest, hiding his teeth and starting to suck. Immediately Steve was gasping, he hadn't had this since before nancy, and Billy was good at it.

Steves' hands cautiously rested in Billy’s hair, but Billy immediately pulled away, “You think I keep it this long just for the look, Harrington? Don’t be a pussy.”

He took that as an invitation and used his hands in Billy’s hair more firmly, guiding him up and down. Pulling on the golden locks got him a beautiful moan, and pushing Billy’s head never seemed to bother the boy as he never gagged, even when his nose touched skin and he looked up to make eye contact with Steve.

“God, Billy, so good for me.” That got him another moan, apparently, praise was the way to go. After that, he couldnt stop talking, practically fucking Billy’s face and chanting praises to him, how good he looked and felt and how talented he was at this. His words were still a little slurred from the alcohol, but it only seemed to spur the blond on as he moved faster and took the entire thing down his throat every time.

In moments, Steve was forcing his head to the base, and moaning his name a little too loudly for there to still be a party going on outside. Billy swallowed with tears in his eyes from the lack of oxygen.

Eventually, Billy pulled back, coughing slightly, “I’d ask you to return the favor, but you’d probably puke on me.” he laughs as Steve wobbles, the orgasm only seeming to make his drunkenness worse.

Billy stood and left without another word. 

Steve promptly threw up in the trash can, prepared to forget all about it.

[occult-roommates]

It’s time to go

That was it, after two wonderful weeks, it was time to go back to San Myshuno; say farewell to the low-poly seagulls and hello to the low-poly pigeons. There they were, waiting before their flight, Rudi, Dawud and Daniele were starting to get bored, so they just...looked at each other’s passport.

Daniele: Wait, why do you have an American passport? I thought you were born in Costa Rica and grew up in Germany. You’ve moved to the US like...less than six months ago. Rudi: My mom is Costa Rica and I was born there, and I did move to Germany cause my dad was German. After he died, my mom wanted to go back home, but she got in an online relationship with a Puerto Rican dude, who is now my step-father, so we moved to Puerto Rico. And since Puerto Rican have US passport well here I am. Daniele: Fascinating, thanks for the explanation. Rudi: Costa Rican and Puerto Rican. Call that the double rican...God I wish I was actually rich. Dawud: I don’t get it? Daniele: In Spanish, Costa Rica means rich coast and Puerto Rico means rich port. I don’t speak Spanish but you know my first language is Italian and in Italian both rich coast is costa ricca and rich port is porto ricco so I kinda...deduced. Dawud: I now feel incredibly stupid for never realizing. Rudi: You deadass grew up in Arizona and cannot speak not even un poquito de Español?  Dawud: I mean, I could have picked Spanish in high school like a normal person, but my biggest bullies were all in that class so instead I picked German like a fucking nerd.  Rudi: Oh really, you speak German? Say something, I totally won’t roast you for your pronunciation. Dawud: Uh...Ich mag trinkt Pferdeblud. Rudi: Not only is this sentence barely coherent and not grammatically correct but WHY is this the sentence you chose to say? You actually pronounced it perfectly though. Dawud: I said this one cause it’s the only one I know. Rudi: Ok so WHY is this the only one you know??

While these two were...peacefully arguing about the validity of Dawud’s German, Daniele tried quickly to look at Rudi’s passort. As soon as they saw him do that, they took it away from him.

Daniele: Lu-na M-M-M-Mo- Rudi: BITCH! Daniele: What, I just wanted to see if your first name is actually Rudder! Rudi: Yes, my full name is Rudder, that’s my old name that’s written here. I haven’t changed my name legally yet cause I’ve only realized I’m nonbinary like...barely a year ago. Daniele: YOU’RE A WEREWOLF AND YOUR PARENTS LEGIT DECIDED TO NAME YOU LUNA??? Rudi: You think that’s bad, my mom is fucking named Guadalupe. Dawud: Also why do you read so slowly Dan? Daniele: Can’t I be dyslexic in peace?

Kino looked at these three, in awe on how their age gap can be barely three years and yet, they felt so much more mature than these overgrown teenagers. That’s when they got a text from Toni asking if they were still on the island. Kino answered with a yes, so Toni asked them to go outside the airport.

Kino: Oh, hi Toni. Already missing me? But you know, I’ll likely be back next summer. Toni: Kim I love you.

Oh...Oh my. Kino had often confess these words to someone, but they had never been on the receiving end before. Toni took their hand, and they kissed, right before it was announced boarding had began for their flight.

Hopefully then, it won’t take a year before they see each other again.

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[destinysbounty]

I like your Zane original programming theory you posted, yet by itself it doesn't explain why Zane's soul lingered when he was so ready and accepting of his death--you'd think he would move on! Personally I think it's because he was tied to an element--my theory is that elements cause souls to get stuck until they're passed on to a new master. Maybe it wasn't just obsession that put Morro in the Cursed Realm, and maybe he'll keep lingering until he passes his element to someone else...

Sorry for the delayed response! Theory-crafting is always a fun topic for me and I wanted to take my time with this post, but with the new semester starting this week I haven't had much time to sit down and give this topic its due process. But we're here now!

(To anyone curious, this is the post being referenced)

To start off, you're right! In the original post I do talk a lot about how it would be possible for a nindroid to linger after death, and not so much about the why. I admit, I had initially planned on addressing this as well, but every attempt to explain my thoughts on that felt too longwinded and ramble-y so I decided just to cut it out of the post altogether. So thank you for bringing it up and giving me the excuse to talk more about this!! That being said, this will be ramble-y bc I dont know how to articulate my thoughts on this in a coherent way, so buckle in.

In terms of why Zane's soul lingered/came back to life, I think there are three main possible theories to consider.

(Admittedly only the first theory is all that likely, but I'm emotionally attached to the other two and they also technically have a non-zero chance of being true so I'm gonna present them anyway. Let's just pretend I'm doing it to be thorough)

As you said, it's entirely possible that an individual's elemental power keeps them tethered to the realm of the living and won't let them go. This theory is very interesting from a worldbuilding standpoint, and it seems to have the most evidence to back it up, at least circumstantially. Not to mention that certain details throughout the series, as well as some comments from Tommy Andreasen, lowkey lead me to believe that elemental powers have some degree of sub-sentience to them. The thought of elemental powers refusing to let go of their masters is 👀 really interesting worldbuilding and I'd love to see where that goes. And it makes sense! It would explain why, even though Zane and Cryptor both died, Cryptor passed on to the afterlife while Zane didn't. Because Cryptor wasn't an elemental master, but Zane was. As well as explaining why the likes of Morro and Garmadon retained their elemental powers after death. The only things it doesn't explain are why Morro passed onto some form of afterlife while Zane didn't, and what mechanisms allowed the Overlord's spirit linger in a similar way despite not being an elemental master. Of course, the second one we can easily write off as the Overlord being like a manifestation of darkness and possibly an Oni, and therefore having some cosmic darkness powers that keep him around. And as for the first point about Morro, well, we don't know a lot about the Cursed Realm or even how the death/afterlife system works in this show. A comment from Wu in season 5 suggests that one enters the Cursed Realm by becoming cursed, but that in itself is a headache I'm not ready to unpack just yet. Anyway long story short, this theory makes a lot of sense and I think you're really on the money here!

One theory that answers the question of why Zane and the Overlord lingered in the same way, but people like Cryptor did not, is that perhaps it has something to do with Golden Power. Both were in direct contact with and overloaded with Golden Power, and got resurrected in a presumably similar fashion (from what we've seen anyway) - as opposed to Cryptor and Morro, who as far as we know both died but passed onto some form of afterlife. Any evidence to support this theory is purely circumstantial at the moment, but I'm also fond of how poetic it'd be. The same power Zane used to save his friends, the same power that killed him, is also the same power that won't let his soul pass on. He wrangled unfathomable, godly, golden strength to save the world, but at the cost of his own afterlife. He fought for his friends to find peace, but as a consequence he himself cannot find peace even in death. Can you imagine how unpleasant it must have been for him when the Golden Weapons came back in MotO? Like, even without the context of this theory. The last time he held Golden Power, it destroyed him. And now a Golden Weapon has been placed in his hands once more, and once more he has been tasked with using it to save the world. That's gotta mess you up. And it'd be even worse if the Golden Power is what kept his soul from passing on. Like, given his little dying-thoughts montage, we can tell he was ready to die, he was willing to pass on to the afterlife. He was at peace. But he didn't get that, because the world wasn't done with him. Because the Golden Power wouldn't let him go.

Maybe Zane didn't remain tethered to the realm of the living. Maybe he didn't linger at all. Maybe his soul did actually pass on - but he got pulled back. Maybe he met the FSM and had a similar encounter as Lloyd did in MotO, and was sent back down. I mean, if it's established that the FSM can talk to and resurrect people at his own will, then it's not outside the realm of possibility that he may have done the same to Zane. The biggest hole in this theory is that it's not as likely that Zane would've willingly gone back. On the one hand, Zane loves his friends and it's established that he's willing to sacrifice his own comfort for the sake of protecting others. So it's reasonable to assume that he would choose resurrection if given the opportunity. BUT...like you said, he was at peace with his death. He was happy. Content. Smiling at a life well lived. He had no intention of coming back. Not to mention that Zane doesn't strike me as the kind of person to rebuke the cycle of life - if it's his time to go, then it's his time to go, and he'd probably think it would be arrogant of him to claim an exception to a universal rule. His thinking being, what makes him better or more deserving of a second chance than others? So if he didn't want to come back, then what if the FSM brought him back without his consent? He wanted to stay dead, to be with his father, but the FSM was like 'lol nah' and then yeeted him back down to Ninjago. And yeah that's angsty, but I'd also like to consider the comedic potential of Zane just absolutely hating the FSM's guts because why won't god let him stay dead.

(I do have one more theory, but it involves major Crystalized spoilers so I won't share it. That being said, anyone who's seen episode 13 can probably guess where I'm going with this.)

So...yeah! You're probably right, and your theory makes a lot of sense, heck I even have a few WIPs where I explore that concept, but I just thought it'd be fun to explore all the other options for funsies as well.

Thanks for the ask! <3